#don't leave your business unfinished because you may not get the chance to do it over

[bambi-kinos]

Sorry, long ask.

Do you think that Paul really remembers John? Like his John that he fell in love with because John's been dead for more years than he's been alive, they cut ties in the later twenties then like 10 years Paul had new memories and great success with Wings and a family and he didn't play Beatles songs then. But it was more than 40 years ago and Paul at least at some point has said that he doesn't remember the 60's + he seem quite unsure of John and his true feeling about each other, he quite often said like he asking himself if "we hated each other or if it was true" like he's needed to see "McLennon" videos and pictures of themselves to really see, yes it was real. So I'm asking this because I know Paul is a genius and almost super human but he is human and most people actually don't remembers things that long.. So what do you think? I must say I do hope he does.

How much do we remember the people we love after they've passed?

My grandfather died last year. Peacefully, he was surrounded by people who loved him. My memories of him are of taking care of him in his last days. Visiting him, talking to him, telling him we loved him. He was ready to go and we knew that. He was tired and wanted to go on to the next step. So those are my predominant memories of him. He was very worn out. It wasn't until I witnessed the decline that I realized what it means to be a "shadow of yourself."

He wasn't always like that. I knew him when he could get around on his own, before the damage from the polio came back. I knew him when he taught me chess. I knew him when he made popcorn for me and taught me how to tune a radio. I remember hugging him when I wasn't even up to his hip. But those memories are very faded. When my oldest sister lived at home, he came by our house and he hung up her ceiling fan in her bedroom. I remember walking in and seeing the new fan sitting on the floor but I don't remember him being there. My mom had to confirm that for me.

And I wonder, what other things did I do with my grandfather that I don't remember? What all did we do? Where did we go, what was it like? He took us to the ocean once but I only have photos. I don't remember it happening.

But I know he loved us. He was an excellent grandfather, he was so well suited to the part. He liked being with us, he taught us new things, he took care of us. He loved us, he was so proud of us whenever we did anything.

So if you don't remember someone or you rediscover memories you forgot....that doesn't mean you stop loving them. Memory is fallible but love is just as much an act as it is a feeling. Paul reviewing photos, seeing the remastered video, watching John dance his silly dances. It all came back to him. That John loved him, even if Paul doesn't remember every little thing. Paul can love John without needing to remember every little thing. He's made his entire career a monument to loving John.

Paul's uncertainty regarding John is in part a reaction to what everyone around him has been screaming at him for decades and because of John himself. He's been taunted and blamed and told repeatedly, for decades, that John hated him from the moment he saw him and that he was only useful to John as a business partner. John himself created and drove a great deal of this narrative. Hence his dismay that Paul took him seriously when John told him to stop coming around. "I didn't mean it like that." John had to put this out in a media interview because he was so scared of talking to Paul (because he understood his part in the whole thing) that he couldn't call on the phone and tell Paul that he was sorry. Paul wasn't lucky like me, he didn't have more good memories to overwrite the other good memories.

Paul is old and human memory is fallible. His last interactions with John were terrible. How does he square that with Yoko telling him "no, John really did love you" and interviewers saying "he missed you, it was so obvious." It was obvious to everyone but Paul who only get a hostile angry John who wanted hurt him.

But that's why the videos and photos matter. It will happen to all of us someday. That's why we need to take photos, take videos, everything. There needs be a record of love so we can remember love. That's why Paul released Eye of the Storm, so he can remember the time when John loved him. The stage interviews with Conan are an exercise in watching a man wrapping memories around himself like a blanket.

Paul does remember bits and pieces of the 1960s. He remembers writing "Mr. Kite" with John. He remembers tripping with John. It's the mundane stuff that he misses I bet. Age takes those memories away first, the little things.

Paul may only remember bits and pieces of the John he fell in love with, the John who took care of him and loved him back. But he has the photos. He has the videos. Even if he doesn't remember them exactly, he can look at them and he can know that John loved him once. He's holding on to that as tightly as he can.

And like Paul always says: he can feel John's presence. John is with him in one way or another. That in of itself must be very comforting.

[pastafossa]

as someone who has written over 130 chapters for TRT (big fan ofc omg i love you and your writing and your story so much) what's your advice for someone who's feeling burnt out after only the 3rd chapter. Like the plot is clear and I want to write it so bad but I just...don't write. And it's getting annoying

is this like a substance you're injected with? Is it the same as the determination in undertale? what keeps you going?

I am indeed an experimental subject, injected early on with a proprietary blend of ADHD Hyperfixation and Crow Brain Wanting To Show Readers The Shiny Thing conveyed into my brain by a base blend of high-caffeine coffee, you too can have this blend for the low low price of Procrastinating Household Tasks While Also Being Distracted By Shiny Things. Act now and we'll give you the free gift of Insomnia (tm)!

Ok but in reality - first, thank you so much anon! I'm so happy you enjoy the story!

First, I have good news - on TRT's full page index, you'll see: I burned out early on when things got busy in my life. I went almost two years after chapter four before I came back in Jan 2021 and began updating every week. So it happens to everyone sometimes, me included!

There are a couple of things I learned to help prevent burnout though, little things that have helped me keep going this long:

For me one of the blocks was perfectionism. I was editing as I wrote, essentially, judging the literally unfinished product before I was done, and that was stressful and exhausting. It's a bit like moping over a cake's appearance while all the ingredients are still in the bowl. 'This doesn't look like a cake, it's going to taste terrible, why do I bother' but I haven't even baked or frosted it yet! Once I learned, truly, that it's ok to have a messy rough draft, things got easier and less stressful, and it made burnout less likely.

I like to think happy thoughts about the chapter! I think about how exciting it will be for readers to read a romantic moment, or what they'll do with clues I leave, or how they'll react to a wicked cliffhanger. I basically pump myself up for chapters when needed the same way I would when I'm going to give someone a surprise gift or cook them something.

Include in the fic tropes you want to see! It's no secret with TRT that along with the more serious plotlines and romance, it's also me exploring some of my absolute favorite tropes - cuddle for warmth, slow burn, drunken almost-kiss, the Big Declaration Of Love While Unconscious, the mad scientist, etc. I get so excited about the chance to write those tropes, and because I've outlined the plot, I know how close they are, and I try to sprinkle them through at regular intervals as a treat for myself. These are carrots for you to help prevent burnout because holy shit you want to get to the treat, you want to chase it like a cat with a laser pointer, it's right there, all you need to do is go through a few more chapters, go get it! gogogogogogogogo

This is the hard one - there are some days I'm just like ggrrrr don't want to. And whenever possible, I force myself to do it anyway. It's miserable and it sucks, each word is like pulling teeth in the beginning. But the good thing I've found is that once I pushed through it early on, I was able to build momentum, and it got easier. It was like my brain figured out, 'well she's going to make me write anyway so I may as well just get it over with.' It's very important to remember point 1 when you do this - a chapter you're struggling on will most likely feel bad or terrible, you'll be convinced no one will read it. BUT everything can be fixed in editing, and most people will have no idea you struggled with it. I've got some chapters I wrote out like that in TRT and they fit in perfectly!

Outlineeee, outline outline outline. I hate outlining but it's important for a reason - because when I'm like 'I LITERALLY DO NOT HAVE THE BRAIN CAPACITY TO PLAN THIS' I don't actually have to. Because I have the outline, the roadmap, and I've already figured out what needs to happen. All I have to do is write down what happens, and then make it pretty, the same way going by a recipe is easier than trying to come up with a new dish yourself. <3

Honestly I don't judge anyone who struggles with chapter fics, and what I've done with TRT is very unusual. I won't lie though, it teaches you TONS about writing. This is most of the stuff I've learned and use to avoid burnout!

[wolfprincesszola]

The Fate of the Marked Six Chapter 9

still busy asf to the point where these updates may be later on in the day but enjoy <3. as always, reblogs and likes are appreciated! ——————– Summary: Virgil moves into a new town and meets Roman, a ghost that he promises to help in finding the unfinished business needed to pass over. However, Roman's past seemed to be deeply muddled with trouble, an uncurable disease that has started to affect a classmate, and a certain tight-lipped valedictorian. Friendships are made and Virgil finds himself thrown into a situation far more complicated and twisted than he signed up. Hopefully, with the help of his new five friends, he can find a way to bring peace to the town once and for all.

Trigger Warning: None

Content Warning: Swearing

<Masterlist>

<Previous> <Next> ——————–

Chapter 09

Patton was sitting on his couch with Logan.How did the two get there? He didn’t know.

They were watching a movie. What movie? He couldn’t tell you because he was too focused by Logan leaning his head against his chest. He had his arm around him. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest, almost praying that Logan couldn’t hear it. What was happening? Why was he so comfortable with him? Why was he so nervous around him?

The movie said something that was almost incomprehensible if it wasn’t for the iconic line that was said. “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Patton looked down at Logan, who at the same time, looked up at Patton. Then, Logan smiled. Not the smile he often gave to Patton when he was annoyed or tired. Not the smile he faked for professions in front of others. It was a genuine smile that he had never seen his do. It was a smile that caused his eyes to crinkle at the side and a smile that showed his teeth. Logan's laughter rang in Patton's ears and Patton was addicted to the sound. Although it was the first time he heard it, he promised himself he would make it his life goal to hear it every chance he got.

His heart skipped as soon as he saw the smile, but what really got him was the look in Logan's eyes. He had never seen Logan look at someone like that before. Logan looked at Patton with pure love, as if he would never love anyone else the way he did Patton.

Then, Patton sat up in bed. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he groaned, staring at his bed. It was just a dream. That was all it was going to be, and he waved it off. Whatever that was, it was weird, and something that would never come true. He didn’t even like Logan like that.

-+=~=+-

"Hi Remus!" Patton smiled, seeing Remus approach Virgil and him.

"Hey, Patton. Still got that bitch up your asshole?"

Patton let confusion roam his face, "I don't have a dog up my butthole..."

"No, he's talking about Logan." Virgil sighed, rubbing his temples, "Remus, Patton's too innocent to get that type of joke."

"I'll just keep making jokes until they stick." Remus grinned as the three started walking to their first period, which they all had together.

“Uh huh.” Virgil drawled out, “Did you guys do the math homework?”

“Not at all.” Remus snorted, “That’s what first period is for. To do the math homework.”

“I did.” Patton offered, “Just not well. I don’t know what I was thinking when I did it because I calculated 2 + 2 to be 27.”

“Oh jeez, I’m stuck with the dumb people--no offense, Pat. I’m going to go ask Janus.” Virgil moved towards the boy, leaving Remus and Patton to be alone in the hallways together.

Patton hesitated on the topic of Remus, as he had known something was going on behind the scenes. Still, he asked, hoping that for once, Remus wouldn't say anything inappropriate.

“How are you doing?” Patton asked Remus, “You seem…on edge recently.”

"I'm fine! In fact, I thought the other day about how Woody should've said there was a snake up his butthole because that would've been funnier."

Yep. That was on Patton for assuming Remus was going to be serious.

"Really?"

Then, the facade crumbled from Remus' face and Patton saw a side of the boy he had never seen before. This side of Remus seemed more vulnerable, more honest. "Honestly? I haven't been feeling too great. I’ve been hearing some things that I don’t know if they are real or fake. No one has any clear answers, and I feel like if I tell anyone that doesn’t have powers, they’ll just think I’m insane.”

"Oh, Remus. The people you surround yourself with love you. There's nothing you could say to make your friends think you're insane. I mean I already think it's insane that I live in a world where everyone has powers except for a select few. I think you're already insane for half the stuff you say, but I'm not going anywhere."

Remus was surprised by that answer by the sheer mouth agape he had. He pushed his mouth to close before he let himself catch up to Patton, "Record scratch? Patton admits he thinks I'm insane."

"Of course in a good way!" Patton tried to correct himself, "I think it's crazy that you have powers overall!"

“You…know I have powers?” Remus asked.

“Why, of course! I told you that I know when others have powers already." Patton giggled, “You just gotta know what you look for in the auras of magic people, and then you know when someone doesn’t or has powers.”

"Then doesn't that mean that you have magic?"

"Don't be silly. I haven't shown any signs of it."

"Logan told me that only magic users know when other users have magic.”

Patton thought about it before shrugging, "I don't know, kiddo. I know Logan's so smart and everything, but I think I would know if I had magic. I mean look at me. I don’t have anything magic in me.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, but waved it off, deciding he would tell Patton what else has been bothering him. “Apparently, there’s a ghost that’s following me around.”

“Oh? Is it the ghost that’s Virgil’s friend?” Patton raised an eyebrow.

“You know he’s a medium?”

“I mean, it was pretty obvious.”

Remus scoffed, “Moving on, it’s not Virgil’s friend, but…I’m just on edge. I don’t know what to do and how to help myself.”

“Ah, I see.” Patton sighed, staring at Remus, “I think, right now, you’re stressing yourself too much.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. You’re saying that Virgil’s handling it?”

“Yeah.”

“Then trust him.” Patton gave Remus a small smile right as the warning bell rang, “Now come on, let’s go to class before we’re late.”

-+=~=+-

Patton walked into his 3rd period, only to be met with the sweet smell of hot chocolate and marshmallows.

“Welcome, welcome! Take your seats!” His teacher yelled at the front of the class, with a lot of mugs of hot chocolate at the front.

“That smells so good.” Janus groaned, “I really hope he gives us the mugs. I’d love one.”

“Me too.” Patton murmured as he sat down at the table he shared with Janus.

He sat down, staring at the hot chocolate.

All of a sudden, Logan walked through the door, a timid smile on his face. The feelings he felt after the dream he had during the weekend rushed back to him, as he remembered every detail he dreamed of. His heart dropped as he stared at Logan.

Shit.

“Hey, Mr. Lonesins, did you still want me to drop off the boxes over here?”

“Oh yes, Logan, thank you so much.”

Logan nodded, “It’s my pleasure.”

Before he could leave to grab the boxes though, Patton called Logan over, “Sanders!”

Logan looked towards the sound of his voice, walking over, “What do you want, Morris? I can’t physically give you another hour of detention, when you have yet to make up the last 20.”

“What are you doing here? I thought you had a third period.”

“Unlike you, I arrive at my third period early. I TA, and since I had no work, he said I should come over here to help.” Logan rolled his eyes, “Now focus on the class and maybe if you’re good, I’ll give you extra marshmallows.”

“You're my favorite person, Lo.” Patton gasped in excitement, brushing the flush on his face as just redness from the cold when Logan left.

“You’re being weird today.” Janus remarked, but said nothing else. Patton was glad that he didn’t bring anything else up when Patton didn't even know what was going on.

The entire class period, he found himself blushing at the sight of Logan, and had to look away every time he made eye contact with him.

At the end of the lesson, Patton found oddly messy notes, unlike what he usually took. Logan came by at the end of the class period to help pass out the mugs, and after he finished, he asked who wanted extra marshmallows, immediately everyone raised their hands, and Logan went over to Patton first.

“Since you were good.” Logan remarked, giving him three extra ones before passing the other ones out, only giving them two.

“You’re special.” Janus smirked at him.

Oh stars, he really hoped he wasn’t.

-+=~=+-

“So…you’ve been weird. What’s going on?” Virgil asked, on their walk towards the cafeteria. Having Janus and Remus always be there early to get his lunch meant that he could always wait for Patton who was in the classroom right across from him.

“What do you mean?”

“Janus has noticed it too. He told me you were being super smiley today, and not annoying Logan as much as you normally do.”

Patton flushed, “Okay, maybe I just think that he could use a break from me bugging him.”

“But you’re Patton Morris, the infamous class clown.”

“Infamous?”

“Infamous, in Logan’s view. Famous for everyone else.”

“Ah. Makes sense….I don’t know. I think it was that I had a talk with him, and a part of me felt bad that he knew so much about me, but I don’t know anything about him.”

“It’s okay. I don’t think anyone knows a lot about him….but honestly? I think you’re lying to me, and even yourself. Are you sure there’s no other underlying reason?”

“No.” Patton was fast to assert it.

“Wow, feisty today.” Virgil remarked, “Come on, even if you can’t trust anyone, don’t you think it’d be nice to get it off your chest?”

Patton sighed before snapping, an idea coming to fruition, “You know what I can do? Tell your ghost friend, Roman.”

It was a good idea. It would give Patton a chance to let it off his chest, but not to tell someone that knew him personally.

“What?” Virgil raised an eyebrow, “You can’t even see him. You wouldn’t even know if he’s here right now.”

“The problem is the thing that’s haunting my thoughts right now is the thing I can’t tell people who know anyone in this high school. Your friend doesn’t.” Patton spoke, hoping that Virgil might believe him. Patton wouldn't even know how to start talking about his issue even if he could talk to Virgil about it.

Was he falling in love with Logan after just one dream? Was love too strong of a word? What was Logan to Patton?

It made his brain hurt.

Virgil sighed, “Fine, I’ll set up a meeting…as long as you tell me all you got on Roman, because I remembered you promising me that you’d find resources on who he might be.”

“Yeah, so good news and bad news.”

“What?”

“No one shows up with the whole Roman 'died a few months ago’ and ‘has a brother’ Sanders, but interesting enough, there’s no results of him dying a few months ago. There were more than 10 Roman Sanders who had a brother, but I didn’t want to look through all their information. Then, I remembered who else’s last name is Sanders and had a brother, and started working backwards from him.”

“Logan? I thought of him too, but it just doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t talk about his brother, but Logan's brother is 4 years older and Logan talks about him like he didn’t die. Besides, he's adopted or something.” Virgil remarked. "I learned about it through context clues."

Patton seemed to come to a revelation, “He’s adopted!”

It caused everyone else to look at him weirdly, and Virgil pulled his hood over his face in embarrassment from the attention.

“Yeah, so I look at our one and only Logan, and find out that in his family, he has had a brother named Roman Sanders. Roman died almost 4 years ago, and he died when he was 17, a few months before he was supposed to graduate with a high school diploma at this school. He was the valedictorian, but just a few months ago, an exhibit at the art museum was dedicated to him as an exhibit. A statue in the park was built for him months after he died. Then, I go back to the Roman Sanders, instead only checking the Romans who died in the past ten years, and jackpot, I find only 3. Only two of them have brothers, and only one of them died at a young age, as I’m assuming you aren’t really talking about an 80-year-old. That one Roman is the boy that stands at the legacy of this school with the personality of a sun.” Patton grinned triumphantly.

“So what you’re saying is that we’re dealing with having to talk to the most difficult person to open up and talk about his brother, who he forbade us from talking about?”

“Well…when you say it like that-“

“That’s what I thought. We’re going to have a bit more trouble then.” Virgil gave a sharp inhale.

“Sorry, kiddo. That's all I can do.” Patton shrugged.

“No, it’s okay. Thank you for finding all this out anyways.” Virgil sighed.

Patton nodded, as they walked into the cafeteria, “Listen, I’ll try to weasel as much information out of our valedictorian as much as possible.”

“Uh huh, good luck with that.”

-+=~=+-

Patton was sitting at the lunch tables after school when a composition notebook hit the back of his head hard. It made a sound and he let out an audible “OW!” despite not being hurt in the slightest.

He turned towards the person who hit him only for them to walk over to the front of him, slamming the composition notebook down.

“Stop being weird.”

Patton blinked, still rubbing the back of his head as he looked at the person. It was Logan and he didn’t look too amused with him.

“Sorry?”

“Stop being weird.” Logan repeated again, sitting on the other side of the table from him.

Patton looked at the composition book to see at the top it said “Patton Morris” in Logan’s neat handwriting.

“How am I being weird? You're the one that hit me in the head with a notebook, Logan! What is this?”

Logan huffed, flipping open the book to a page that was clearly the most referenced page. At the top, it was labeled “Statistics” and Patton scanned through the rest of the information quickly.

Logan pointed to a couple of the lines, “You, on average, pass by me 12 times a day. You, on average, call out my name upon passing me 9 times a day. You, on average, have 19 interactions with me. You, on average, manage to annoy me 5 of the interactions we have. Even on good days, you bring those numbers to 12, 20, 9, and 3.”

“Okay?” Patton raised an eyebrow.

“Today, you have passed by me 15 times, and have called my name once. Even in the three interactions we’ve had today, you haven’t even spoken a word about what you normally would annoy me about.”

“Do you miss it? I mean I can-”

“No. It’s not the same when you try to annoy me because you think you’re acting weird. It’s never been the same!” Logan huffed, flipping to another page, that clearly tracked all the days he was being off and the reason why.

“Why do you care?” Patton snorted, “I thought you hated me annoying you.”

“I do! That’s what doesn’t make sense.” Logan groaned, standing up and starting to pace around, “Every fiber of my being despises you with a passion. I get so mad when I think of everything you do, and how you always are making me clean up your messes. I think I’m done with everything you do, and yet I can’t shake the feeling that maybe you’re not so bad! You do things like staying to help me clean up my mess, and yell at the hallways to stop talking shit about people they don’t know, and you genuinely respect me, which is something I don’t get from most parents, adults, and students. It frustrates me that you make me feel this way, that I hate you, but I also am the furthest thing from an enemy. Just…tell me what’s going on, so I can just mark it off as another weird day, and then I won’t have to stay awake at night, wondering what I did wrong or what happened with your life, so I can just pretend like things are okay.”

“Lo-” Patton began before Logan interrupted him again, going to sit down to interrogate him.

“Is this because you don’t know anything about me? Is it because I don’t open up about my brother? Is this because of my parents? What is it?”

Patton stared as he watched the boy freak out about the idea of not having Patton talk to him for a day, and a part of Patton got closure of where he stood with Logan. He just let out a laugh.

“What?” Logan stopped his ranting to stare at Patton.

“You’re kinda obsessed with me, aren’t you?”

Logan made a face, scowling, “What are you talking about?”

“Normal people don’t have composition books marking everything I’ve ever done to you.”

“Oh, don’t think you’re so special. I have folders on everyone I’ve interacted with in the school too.” Logan crossed his arms.

“Normal people don’t have that either.” Patton chuckled endearingly. “Normal people also don’t get driven crazy by someone not talking to them, or not annoying them.”

“I’ve always been told I’m not normal.” Logan mumbled, looking away.

“You’re being a little too obsessive right now. I’m fine.” Patton smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder, “I’m just trying a different method of being your friend right now, and it seems like it’s driving you crazy, so maybe I’ll go back.”

“No, no, I kinda like this better.” Logan shook his head, “It’s just that….you really helped me out through my toughest times. I hated how annoying you kept being, but that sense of familiarity really helped me during a time of change where everything around me shifted. I don’t think I’m ready to let go of the only thing keeping me sane yet, and I guess I’m scared that you’re going to stop being my frenemy.”

“I won’t ever stop.” Patton promised him.

“Thank you.” Logan gave a weak smile.

“So…was that your first time being vulnerable and not robotic?"

“It’s so hard.” Logan groaned, slumping in the picnic tables, “My obsessive thinking kept my mind running all day, and it’s tiring.”

“Awe, I was in your mind all day.” Patton teased.

“Shut it, Morris.”

Patton looked at Logan, who seemed almost relieved that Patton was talking to him again. Patton hesitated with his next words, making sure to think about them carefully.

“...you mentioned your brother, but you never like to talk about him. What happened?”

Logan’s face shifted to a melancholic expression, “...he died four years ago, and I have yet to forgive myself for letting him die.”

“Oh come on, you couldn’t have known that he would’ve died.”

“But I did.” Logan sat up, “I have the powers of precognition and months before he died, I kept having the same recurring nightmare of him driving and being hit by a drunk driver. Even an hour beforehand, I had the nightmare, and I told my parents, but they just waved it off. I don’t think my parents looked so angry after they found out my brother died.”

“Oh, Logan...you were what? 13 years old at the time? You couldn’t have possibly been asked to understand at that young age what it felt like to lose someone, who I’m guessing was really important to you.”

“He was so important to me.” Logan murmured, “I remember I spent the following two years after he died just trying to do everything I could towards safe driving, and donating all of his stuff. He said he wanted to make a difference in the world, so…I tried to make his wishes come true.”

“Have you ever tried to contact him through a medium?”

“I researched everything there was to be about ghosts, but I knew that a medium couldn’t do much if he wasn’t a ghost near this area. Most mediums are people who can see the ghosts around them. Besides, when he died, he and I were in a fight. I doubt that even if I wanted to find my brother, he would want the same.” Logan’s eyes portrayed a sense of hurt and regret that he had been clearly holding in for a long time, “I just…wish I had more time with him. I was adopted when I was 6. I wasn’t close with him until I was 8. I barely even got 5 years with him.”

Patton saw tears prick the edges of Logan's eyes for the first time and he was left speechless without words. Still, he forced something out, his voice hoarse, "I'm sorry."

“He’s the reason I’m the valedictorian now. I thought that maybe, I could fill the hole in my parents’ hearts. I thought maybe I’d get to know him more if I became the valedictorian. Except I don’t. Now, all I feel is emptiness. I feel more disconnected with him now than before. I stopped feeling sad or angry or anything really. for my brother and for my life"

“What would you give to see him again? Just at least once.”

“Everything.” Logan whispered and Patton knew what he had to do.

Logan stood up, grabbing the composition notebook, sighing, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Patton. Promise me you won’t be weird?”

“I’ll try my best.” Patton remarked.

Logan was cute, maybe even handsome. He was smart, and funny. he was genuine to Patton, and even when he was vulnerable, Logan still trusted Patton with all the information he normally wouldn’t trust anyone with. Although Logan was obsessive with his actions, maybe Patton could look past it. However, until he found out what he really felt with Logan (whether the dream awoke the hidden crush or the dream instigated the crush), he was fine with learning to be kinder to the boy who had been nothing but kind to him all these years. ——————– Logicality at its finest everyone <3. i feel like this is the closest these characters are going to get to canon because Logan's not really emotional but he's smart enough to know the patterns of everyone while Patton's emotional, but he really knows how to dodge feeling those difficult feelings. Hope you guys enjoy and I promise you that things will continue to go in a direction you probably wouldn't have expected them to go~

If you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging! Reblogging helps me a lot and are very appreciated. Check out my masterlist for more, feel free to request any writings, and stick around if you want to see the rest of what I have in store for this! :)

[universallywriting]

I have no idea if you're still in to SU and I think you may have already answered a question like this before or in your older posts regarding Rose and her actions having some very negative consequences, like Steven suffering badly from it. Do you think if Rose as pink still, should have confronted the diamonds about everything instead of doing the fake death thing she did that led to everyone getting corrupted? This is something I am kind of wondering about sometimes very strongly when this comes to mind wondering if it's a good idea because she's taking responsibility for her actions but then at the same time given the diamonds attitudes, especially White Diamond who didn't listen to Steven and pulled out his gem anyways. I felt like asking that's because I'm just like wondering if things would have been better if she had took and responsibilities like that and I thought it was kind of the whole point with what is going on with her character in Future and we are supposed to be very critical about that because of how steven is feeling

I still haven't seen anyone make a disagreement about that and I thought his "running away from her problems" rant kind of included that issue with her not confronting the diamonds and that if she did he wouldn't be in the situation he was in in Future and taking her responsibilities. I don't think it was specified but I thought the whole point of that Grant was basically almost everything was her fault and if she did took responsibility things would be different even though some part of me feels naive to think that and would be ignoring key issues involving the relationship between pink and the other Diamond, especially white diamond

Also not bashing Rose or Steven here, I feel like this is something I'm seriously wondering about when it comes to the idea of her confronting diamonds and things would be okay or at least better than how things were in Canon. Given that how critical how almost everyone has been very critical of rose, I feel like I want to hear the reasons of how she could have convinced them and whether or not that was actually possible and I'm sorry for the long ask. This is something that kind of requires a lot of thinking and I just felt interested in the what if scenario and whether or not things would be better in that scenario

To me, I feel like the most important part of confronting White Diamond was that Steven was not Pink. If Steven was Pink, if Rose was there, I don't think the confrontation would have changed anything because the Diamonds wouldn't have cared. If Pink isn't gone they can hold on to the chance that they can have her, that things can go back to how they were. It's only when she's truly gone that the Diamonds have to move on.

Pink/Rose fucked up a lot. She's an incredibly flawed character. But I think it's unfair when people say that all of this could have been avoided had she confronted the Diamonds. To do so ignores the fact that Pink's shattering changed the Diamonds, that the war changed them, that time changed them. The Diamonds Pink fled from and the Diamonds Steven met were not the same.

Rose may have lied about what gem she had, but she didn't trick people into a war of independence. She swore off her title and she worked with rebels because she felt like those people deserved freedom. She wasn't secretly trying to get her throne back, she wasn't trying to claim Earth for herself. She wanted gems and life on Earth to live the way they wanted to, and people joined the cause - not for her.

I really don't know if Rose could have convinced the Diamonds without a war. Maybe after the war she could have confronted them, could have changed something, but I think the war changed everything. I think the war made it a possibility. I think people think too much about Rose "leaving problems behind" and not enough about the things she accomplished.

We all leave the world with unfinished business. Rose did her best. She messed up at times. She made bad choices. But it's not like Rose ran away to go hide on an asteroid and let everyone die. She fought beside them. She tried. And I really can't say for sure whether Steven could have done any better had he been in her shoes.

[thelaughingwizard]

Aghora - At the Left Hand of God

"Every morning when I wake up I do three things.

First, I remember that I'm going to die. This gives urgency to the way I will live that day.

Second, I spend five minutes in thanksgiving to Nature for being permitted to live, to have this chance to experience, to learn, and to achieve.

And third, I resolve not to cheat my consciousness during the day. As long as I don't cheat my consciousness nothing I do during the day can stain me, [...]

And there is a practice which I follow every night before going to sleep. It is very simple, but it has helped me immensely and it can help anyone who uses it. It involves only three questions:

Have I lived? Have I loved? Have I laughed?

Have I lived? - Have I made the best use of the time provided me during that day to grow, to learn, to develop?

Have I loved? - Have I reached out to everyone I met and made them aware of the love in my heart and eased their burdens of self-mistrust and self-doubt?

Have I laughed? - Have I seen the humorous side of even the most painful incident?

If the answer to any one of these questions is no, then it is a matter for remorse. One more day has passed and I am another day closer to my death, and I have not exerted myself to my fullest potential. This is enough to make me work harder the next day and try to make amends, before Mahakala comes and catches me unawares. It is this intense desperation to live life to the fullest which is the hallmark, the stamp, of a true Aghori."

- Robert E. Svoboda: Aghora. At the Left Hand of God.

Krishna Das recommended to his listeners who wanted to read the most relevant book about Karma to only read Aghora III. He specifically said to NOT read the first two books because "they will mess with your head and give you nightmares.

Well, that was motivation enough for me to get started with the first one. And I didn't regret it.

My interest in Tantra (more specifically, vedic tantra and left-hand tantrism) had increased recently (especially since my vedic astrologer read in my chart that I must have dabbled in tantra and kundalini practice in past lives and seem to have 'unfinished business' there) and together with me leaving the self-righteous brotherhood of the "Golden Dawn" and its right-wing acolytes behind during the dawn of the covid19 crisis, I started to open my eyes to the forbidden paths - that is, forbidden for those who self-identify as "white magicians" and condemn the likes of Aleister Crowley to the deepest pits of hellfire.

Going back to Asian traditions was warranted - monotheistically indoctrinated Westerners are too "black and white".

A Brahmin would never condemn an ascetic, half-naked Sadhu - he would recognise the same seeker, the same Atman in him and bow before a brother of a different path.

Blaming and finger-pointing is the way of the west, it is not conductive to spiritual advancement.

But I disgress. Robert Svoboda was the personal disciple of an Aghori - a particularly wild specimen of a tantric holy man. Aghoris worship the female divine, often in its ferocious forms. "Ma", the great mother, may come in the form of Bhairavi, Kali or Durga - the names and the particular forms are secondary. Behind them all is the play of the divine male (Shiva) and female (Shakti) in all its forms.

Aghoris are extreme Sadhus - they go to great length, often practicing for years in the smashan, the cremation fields, living among corpses and human bones, searching for that inner light beyond the forms of our physical existance.

The book is a collection of stories of Svoboda's master, losely grouped around different themes, and it gives a fascinating glimpse into that world that is hidden also to most Indians.

[the-melting-world]

Strength | Playbook Commentary [Side A]

Need to catch up? The full album can be found here: Strength

Note: Song lyric application may not always correspond with the original meaning / intention of the song’s origins.

Enjoy these breakdowns of the lyrics that influenced and inspired some of the events and imagery used in Strength. All songs with the exception of the Spotify session recording of "We Know Who U R" are borrowed from Blanco White’s albums On the Other Side, Colder Heavens, and Nocturne EP.

cw: none

~ Side A Playlist ~

"Olalla" 

"Lie Alone"

"Outsider"

"We Know Who U R"

"I Belong to You"

"On The Other Side"

"Sol"

****

“Olalla”

Lyrics that had the most impact on the chapter:

Olalla more than a name / Rest your eyes and stay in the shade / You are hiding over the hill / In a quiet never so still

From Olalla to the city lights / Somebody told me to believe in better times

Oh Olalla where will you go? / If the line ends out on the road / There's a story meant to be told / When the door is shut in the cold

Commentary

“Olalla more than a name / Rest your eyes and stay in the shade / You are hiding over the hill / In a quiet never so still” – This chapter is all about renewing one’s sense of hope and these lyrics speak of a place (Olalla) that is a beacon of hope and the promise of something better. The time shared between Kip and Khleo in this chapter captures all of these feelings of returning to a place of rest or finally coming upon the place that one has been searching for.

“Somebody told me to believe in better times” – Over the course of their picnic, Kip is steadily pushing Khleo to open up more and more about the things they want. Every time Khleo reveals information, Kip gives some reassurance, which grants Khleo permission to believe in herself and speak openly about the things that she has jealously guarded in the past.

“Oh Olalla where will you go? / If the line ends out on the road / There's a story meant to be told / When the door is shut in the cold” – As much progress as Khleo has made in this chapter, there is still a lot that she has to do. These lyrics imply that this special place (Olalla) may not be the same one day or may stop existing. It creates this feeling of unfinished business in the lines “there’s a story meant to be told” or the possibility of failure in the lines “if the line ends out on the road”. We feel this at the end when Khleo and Kip say goodbye and Khleo goes off on her own even though she doesn’t quite have all the answers.

****

“Lie Alone”

Lyrics that had the most impact on the chapter:

Farewell my room of lies, have you gone at last? / I'm lost not paralyzed, I may never come back / There's no answer in the air, why the lightning struck / You should have known I would not care, every diamond's cut, from the dirt

So I lie alone, and risk each night, I long to let you in / But there's a life I lost, drifted out, before / You let me in

Commentary

“Farewell my room of lies, have you gone at last… I’m lost, not paralyzed” – Khleo is at a crossroads “Farewell to my room of lies”. Their friends are pushing them to leave the tavern, but they resist because it’s all they’ve known for so long and they don’t know where they will draw their strength if everything changes “I’m lost, not paralyzed”. This, as much as their desire to be with Kip, is also a source of their sexual frustration.

“There’s no answer in the air” – Neither Kip and Khleo get any release or “answer” in their efforts to satisfy their individual longing for each other.

“You should have known I would not care. Every diamond’s cut, from the dirt” – This quote sums up Kip’s attitude toward the situation in this chapter. Even though Kip is dissatisfied after the fact, she still has hope that something can come of her feelings for Khleo “every diamond’s cut”, much in the same way something came of her relationship with Asra, which endured so much strain and uncertainty “from the dirt” before they became a serious couple.

“So I lie alone… I long to let you in” – The physical distance between Kip and Khleo does not hold them back so much as Khleo’s individual stubbornness to move on from their old life. Most of the tension building up to this point has been created by Khleo’s ties to the Chandrian.

“There’s a life I lost, drifted out before you let me in” – Kipling is ready to let Khleo in, as we see with her transparency with Asra (whereas before she was very tight-lipped about her feelings about Khleo), but Khleo has one last hurdle to overcome with themself, as seen with their dramatic confrontation with their patron Arcana.

****

“The Outsider”

Lyrics that had the most impact on the chapter:

I'm found out if all I do is hide between the lines, an outsider at the door. / I'm unbound, foreign on a path forever mine, this outsider at the door.

We're confined to be apart / To take sides in divided cells. / We collide when we depart / Don't ask me what's the cost / I don't know myself.

Commentary

“I'm found out if all I do is hide between the lines, an outsider at the door. / I'm unbound, foreign on a path forever mine, this outsider at the door.” – Khleo demonstrates through her confrontation with Otto that she is finally really to transition into the family of grey mages with her friends. However she is an “outsider at the door” in that she is not familiar with this sort of magical territory. The lyrics “foreign on a path forever mine” emphasize what Hefe and Strength have been telling Khleo this whole time – that she’s coming home to something that she knows, but it won’t feel familiar to her at first.

“We're confined to be apart / To take sides in divided cells. / We collide when we depart” – These lyrics echo the relationship between Khleo and her friends. They were separated “confined to be apart” and didn’t cross each other’s paths for many years “divided cells”. But as shown in the way they leave their comfort zones and come together, their reunion is very explosive “we collide when we depart”

****

“We Know Who U R”

Lyrics that had the most impact on the chapter:

Tree don't care what the little bird sings / We go down with the dew in the morning light / The tree don't know what the little bird brings / We go down with the dew in the morning

And we breathe it in / There is no need to forgive / Breathe it in / There is no need to forgive / Again

And we know who you are, and we know where you live / And we know there's no need to forgive

Commentary

“Tree don't care what the little bird sings / We go down with the dew in the morning light / The tree don't know what the little bird brings / We go down with the dew in the morning” – These lyrics capture the nostalgia and simplicity of Khleo’s childhood in the Melting World. Also, the more time she spends with Ozy, the more comfortable she becomes around him until talking to him feels as natural as, say, taking a morning walk through the grass and listening to the birds.

“And we breathe it in / There is no need to forgive / Breathe it in / There is no need to forgive / Again” – Once again emphasizes the way Ozy and Khleo reconnect and how she forgives him for losing her to the Door when they were kids. Towards the end when Ozy asks Khleo for forgiveness, she chides him saying that she’s already forgiven him.

“And we know who you are, and we know where you live / And we know there's no need to forgive” – Much of the same, the only difference is that these quotes echo Ozy’s initial hope/belief that Khleo would forgive him because of the unconditional love she showed him when they were children during a time when no one was willing to give Ozy a chance.

****

“I Belong to You”

Lyrics that had the most impact on the chapter:

Could we craft a Sundance through the night? / Coals aglow / In our eyes, free of souls / In our hearts / Red blood beat forever

Tired as we are / When I wake, steal the dawn / Lead my mind, hear me call / I see no other

Divided coast surrounds me now / In lines below / And my thoughts are hijacked out of sight / Left to roam / In a sky full of stars / Left alone, could they shine forever?

Commentary

“Could we craft a Sundance through the night? / Coals aglow / In our eyes, free of souls / In our hearts / Red blood beat forever” – These lyrics reflect the excitement and fire that burns between Kip and Khleo when they’re finally alone together.

“Tired as we are / When I wake, steal the dawn” – Ironically, even though Kip and Khleo get away to rest up, they become more focused on taking advantage of their privacy.

“Lead my mind, hear me call / I see no other” – Kip and Khleo are so zeroed in on each other that they don’t really see where they’re going until Khleo bumps into the antique dresser.

“And my thoughts are hijacked out of sight / Left to roam / In a sky full of stars / Left alone, could they shine forever?” – These quotes capture the euphoric atmosphere created at the end of the chapter where Khleo is inebriated with Kip’s magic. It emphasizes Khleo’s permanent distance from magic, but also that it’s something that she has always been in awe of and appreciated. Even more now given that she’s gotten closer to Kip.

****

“On the Other Side”

Lyrics that had the most impact on the chapter:

There’s a race to the summit's cold heights / You got to work to play the game / Not  knowing when the end is in sight

The sun hides on the other side until you feel it, raise a distant call / So for now, it's only a long night, can't go on and on

Commentary

“There’s a race to the summit's cold heights / You got to work to play the game / Not  knowing when the end is in sight” – The “race” mentioned here connects to Ozy’s implication that he and his friends are in a race against time when it comes to mastering the Doors. More ideas associated with Ozy are echoed in lyrics like “play the game” and “not knowing”. Ozy often speaks about external conflict as if it’s a game meant to be played or a puzzle that requires solving. Yet he is very clear on when there are gaps in his own knowledge when it comes to the challenges that he faces.

“The sun hides on the other side until you feel it, raise a distant call / So for now, it's only a long night, can't go on and on” – In these lyrics, the title of the song comes up. “On the other side” refers to a lot of things not only in this chapter, but throughout Khleo’s journey. Khleo was the one who was singled out and taken to her patron Arcana’s realm before Kip or Ozy. This concept of crossing into a different plane in order to receive something that Khleo’s not getting in her daily life prevails through her album. And in most cases, this separate plane was Strength’s gate. In this chapter specifically, the “other side” refers to the dark Room that Ozy and Kip have secured that is filled with monsters. There is also another nod to Ozy in these lyrics with “the sun hides on the other side”. The mention of the sun waiting for the singer echoes this image of Ozy (whose patron is the Sun) waiting for Khleo to rise from her rest and answering the call to take on the next task in her personal journey.

****

“Sol”

Lyrics that had the most impact on the chapter:

Further south / Where I was young / And caught up / In the skies on the way / I see them now

Maybe time has the key / To one last door / Where our eyes cannot meet / Without being sure / That the sound had always / Run inside us / From a start out of reach / I see it now

Commentary

“Where I was young / And caught up / In the skies on the way / I see them now” – Khleo has finally reached the point where she can see into her past and understand the role she will play as a grey mage. She’s no longer “caught up” in the cycle of pain and struggle from working at the Chandrian.

“Maybe time has the key / To one last door / Where our eyes cannot meet / Without being sure / That the sound had always / Run inside us / From a start out of reach / I see it now” – A lot of imagery associated with the Door Lords’ journey are in these lyrics, such as “time”, “door”, and the inability to reconnect because of uncontrollable outside forces. Once again with the repetition of “I see it now”, it emphasizes Khleo’s understanding of her journey and the enlightenment that she has collectively gained from her patron Arcana, as well as her interactions with Kipling, Asra, and Ozy.

[silverypurple-rosedlions]

🥀//This content may contain sensitive topics that could upset you such as: mild language, violence, psychosis, blood, gun and knife use, arson, body carving, graphic description, and death. Please continue at your own will and be cautious . . .

𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟾, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟶

And to their astonishment, he crawled out from the dark depths of death, escaping the gates of Hell that yearned for his twisted soul. With bloodied fingers, his chest heaving, clothes tattered as his body ached and trembled with broken bones, he sauntered to the abandoned building of the sick and ghastly. But a glint of venomous rage and determination glistened within his eyes that pooled their enchanted soft blue.

𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟾, 𝟸𝟶𝟸���

Breathing in sharply through his nose, he opened the door, existing the car with narrowed eyes. As he shut the door with the keys shoved inside his coat, ripples of shocked gasps and screams surrounded him. But he walked calmly past them, a path being made for him as he entered the large building belonging to The Silver Lions. And as he walked, the doors swung open, being greeted by the main members of the allied group.

"Holy fuck-" Soonyoung gasped. Beside him, Seungkwan dropped the briefcases he had been carrying, their contents spilling as he covered his mouth with his hands.

"Don't fuck with us! If this is some sick joke, I'll personally decapitate someone!" Seungkwan said.

"Goodness, and hear I thought you all would be crying tears of joy for the man who sacrificed their life to be a distraction," The other replied calmly, only to freeze as the two rushed forward and threw their arms around him.

"HOW THE HELL ARE YOU ALIVE, JEONGHAN?!"

"Because I used my brain, and did not remove the bulletproof vest," Jeonghan responded, wrapping his arms around the two tightly, feeling them tremble within his embrace. "Now . . . Where did you put my negotiator and consigliere?"

𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟿, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟶

Joshua sighed, shifting his gaze towards Mingyu, who stood by the window his arm rested against the wall. Beside him was Seokmin, having the chance to hold Jane who was nestled in his arms, asleep.

"Mingyu, I think it's about time we sleep now. I'm tired..." Joshua said, catching the bodyguard's attention.

"Go to sleep with Seokmin and the others, hyung,"

"Mingyu, you haven't slept for two days. Don't make it three," Joshua rubbed his eyes, standing from the table. "Besides, there's nothing for you to wait for. And Jihoon will let us know when it is time to move,"

"I'll nap later, I promise..." Mingyu's hand formed into a fist as he shook his head, "And you don't even know what could happen. I mean, we clearly didn't see the invaders come trampling in," Mingyu responded sharply.

"Mingyu," Seokmin whispered with furrowed eyebrows. Joshua flinched at first automatically gesturing for Seokmin to leave the room with Jane.

"Mingyu, please. Just shut your eyes for a bit at the very least. I know you're just as anxious as we are, especially now that we're all miles away from each other, but you'll ruin yourself if you keep this up," Joshua said, crossing his arms as he walked towards the male. "And besides... Arin wouldn't want you to keep yourself awake like this, even if it's for our sake. Think about yourself too," Joshua frowned.

"I know... I honestly do, but I just can't sleep right after the incident," Mingyu rubbed his face, the distress finally surfacing after being pushed deep within in. "Everything was so perfect... And that was the only time we ever saw him express himself, the Jeonghan we knew back in Highschool... Then it all came crumbling down so fast, and, stupid or not of what he did, it worked... But not for him. You lost your husband, and the father to Jane... And we could've done better if we noticed the changes..."

Joshua hugged himself, nodding as he shifted his eyes to the floor, his heart clenching tightly at the mention of his deceased husband. "True... But there's nothing that can be done now. As much as we want, or hope we could've fixed it, or stopped it... We know it isn't possible.. But please attempt to rest or sit down. That's the least you can do for us, and, Jane needs her uncle's protection, yeah? But you can't do that if you're up so late," He stood beside Mingyu, staring down to the parking lot with few cars.

"I'll try at the very least... But what about you? Haven't you been struggling as well?" Mingyu questioned cautiously.

"Of course... Every second I am," Joshua responded, rubbing his arms. "I have been getting sleep, but... well, it's haunting..."

"And Seokmin's been drained entirely, hasn't he? Is that why he barely comes out from his room?.."

"He's just been so, so very tired..."

"...What will we actually do now?" Mingyu questioned, shifting his gaze towards the older. "Are you sure you can handle Jeonghan hyung's position?... To even appoint me as Underboss?"

"It's my responsibility now, isn't it?" Joshua whispered softly, looking towards the ring that glistened on his finger. He gently touched it, turning it slightly. "As much as I would rather let Jihoon take the position, it's now embedded into the family, and it directly goes to the Underboss... And it's the least I can do for everything he's ever done and wanted for us..." He paused. "And yes, I am positive that I want you to have your position again. But you must swear to me that you will not repeat your errors like you had done in the past. I entrust you with my life, and always have, but if you even dare to do it, especially with how things are now, I will not hesitate to have you suffer the consequences Jeonghan had refrained from."

Mingyu sealed the thick lump in his throat, shivers running down his spine as he exhaled, nodding. "Of course..."

Suddenly, they heard a knock on the door, causing them both to pause, turning their attention towards the locked door.

"No one left this building at any time, did they?" Joshua asked skeptically.

"No..."

"Mingyu, give me the backpack, and get the rest to the stairs," Joshua said, receiving the bag as he shuffled through it and pulled out his daggers. As Mingyu quietly made his way into the hallway, Joshua walked towards the door. He listened, waiting to hear if they'd continue or speak. But all that filled the air was silence.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Mr. Yoon, open up," Joshua froze.

"It's Jihoon, Joshua hyung. I've brought someone who needs our help desperately," Joshua didn't respond at first, unsure until he gained confirmation that it was the Consigliere. Breathing in, Joshua opened the door, unlocking the numerous locks before he found the younger standing at the door.

"What's with this new person?"

"Well... They want to gain their revenge, and, I'm sure all of us want to gain the opportunity at well," Jihoon said, causing the older to raise an eyebrow. "Isn't that right?"

"Oh," A male said darkly, sending shivers through Joshua as they came to the door, causing the other to drop his weapons, eyes big and round. "Most definitely. Wouldn't you agree, my love?"

"N-No... No way." Joshua said, his heart racing as his knees began to buckle, stumbling backwards with his hands over his mouth. "You can't-... Y-You can't play sick jokes l-like-"

"Joshuji, you know I would never play any twisted jokes like these on you. Never in my life, and, I swore to you I would never, yeah?" Joshua let out a sob as his husband stepped forward, holding his arms firmly. "I swore to you that I would never leave you. Not now, not ever." Softly, Jeonghan caressed his cheek, his other arm wrapping around his waist. "I would never abandon my Angel on this God forsaken Earth,"

"H-Hannie," Joshua choked, falling into his embrace as he held him tightly, sobbing as Jeonghan held him close to his chest, pressing a kiss to his head.

"Everything's going to be alright. I'll make it alright again... And we'll make them pay for this. We'll get our revenge once we've gathered the rest, my love. And then we'll finally have our well deserved time of peace. I'll make sure of it."

𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟸, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟶

As the building filled the sweet sounds of agonizing screaming, Joshua hummed happily as he held Jeonghan's hand, both walking towards the room where the head man was kept. Blood splattered the walls, bodies being ripped and torn, others being filled with holes. Joshua turned his gaze when a man was slammed against the wall, Jun being the one to push a sharp blade into their shoulder to hold them in place, blood sprinkled on his face as he cackled wickedly. But they left him to his "fun," entering the room where the man behind the reigns was tied to a chair, squirming and thrashing as he spat vulgar words.

"Settle down, settle down," Jeonghan chuckled as the newlywed separated, watching as horror formed on the man's aging face. "We haven't even gotten to the best part~"

"T-That's impossible! You JUMPED! You should be DEAD!" The male screamed.

"I defy death, haven't you heard?" Jeonghan chuckled as Joshua left the room, leaving Jeonghan to circle the male. "Besides, even if I died, I have some unfinished business... Thanks to you, our fucking wedding nearly became a funeral the very same day. We didn't even have our family and friends attend thanks to you and your belief that you," He started to laugh, running his fingers through his hair, "you could even achieve the impossible!" He then grabbed the chair, whipping him around as he pulled him, bringing him face-to-face as he tilted his head, a sick and deranged look within his eyes. "And as a gift for your fuckery, you'll get a test of your own medicine, my friend!"

Jeonghan then twisted him again, facing him towards the door. "But you're not getting it from me this time. No, no. You're going to suffer the consequences from my darling of a husband since you brought greater grief upon him than anyone else!"

"YOU'RE ALL MAD! YOU'RE ALL FUCKING DEMONS FROM HELL!" The man yelled.

"Oh. Ohohoho. You're absolutely right," Jeonghan grinned wickedly, lowering towards the man's ear. "We're the most demented shits here~" As Jeonghan finished, Joshua walked in with a bat resting against his shoulder, the most twisted smile on his face as his eye twitched slightly from the rage that was slowly surfacing.

"Hannie got the chance to do this to his parents, you know? Give them pretty bruises and dents before having their bodies scorched. I'm sure you'll love the honor of receiving the same treatment~"

As the man continued to protest, cursing them and degrading them, neither listened. Instead, Jeonghan stared at his husband with love and adoration, his smile sinister as he held the man still. "Let loose, baby~"

With a delighted giggle, Joshua swung the bat up, his eyes large with pure insanity as he yelled, "BATTER UP, BITCH!" With all his strength, he cracked the bat against the male, causing him to let out a cry as a bone snapped within his arm. And again, Joshua swung back and cracked it against his other arm, another cry emitting from the male. "THIS IS FOR RUINING OUR WEDDING!"

Bringing the bat above his head, Joshua slammed the bat against the male's knee, repeating it to the other. "THIS IS FOR ATTEMPTING TO TAKE DOWN OUR GROUP!" Slightly hopping with excitement and burning rage coursing through his veins, he slammed the bat against the male's head. "THIS IS FOR TRYING TO KILL MY HUSBAND, MY FUCKING FAMILY!"

And finally, swinging the bat, Joshua slammed the bat between the male's legs, a choked sob and scream filling the air. "AND FOR RUINING OUR FUCKING HONEYMOON BY CAUSING US TO SEPARATE YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" And as Jeonghan backed away after slamming his hand against the male's head, sending him to the floor on his side, he watched as his heart raced in his chest at the most beautiful and alluring sight before him as Joshua continued to crack the bat against the male over and over again, savoring each and every scream before dropping the bat down with satisfaction.

Proud of his husband, loving the torment he was bringing and the insanity emitting from him, Jeonghan went around the sobbing and bloodied man, Jeonghan wrapped his arm around Joshua, pulling him close as the other let out a laugh, raising an eyebrow towards him with a smirk. "How did I-" Joshua didn't finish as Jeonghan kissed him, tightening his grip on the other's waist as Joshua wrapped his arms around his neck, kissing him passionately and roughly, biting the bottom of his lip before the other broke the kiss, humming in content. "You did beautiful~" But he whispered into Joshua's ear, causing the other to turn red before grabbing the collar of his shirt.

"Yah, Yoon Jeonghan! You can't say that when we haven't even finished this!"

"Just a heads up for later," Jeonghan winked, causing the other to roll his eyes, but the feelings were equally enhanced as they stood over the broken and crippled man. "Speaking of finishing the job, why not leave a little something as a wondrous final touch before the real grand finale?~" He smirked devilishly.

"And that is?~" Joshua watched curiously as his husband pulled out his butterfly knife, flicking it open and having it placed within his hands, letting out a delighted squeal.

"Let's leave our initials~ A permanent reminder of who gained their revenge,"

With a grin, Joshua nodded, pulling his husband with him as they squatted towards the slowly dying man in front of them. "Let's carve it together, Hannie!~"

"Sounds perfect~" Jeonghan purred, taking Joshua's hand in his, both digging the knife within the male's flesh and beginning to tear it, carving their initials as the man screamed and writhed in pain, blood spilling like a river.

"Y. J + Y. H. J. J"

"It's almost like cutting our wedding cake, except, we won't be eating this one~" Joshua chuckled darkly, being nuzzled by Jeonghan who nodded in agreement.

"And now, the grand finale, Joshuji~" Jeonghan grinned, his head twitching slightly, naturally hitting his own head in response. Joshua cooed softly, used to seeing his lover inflict pain to himself.

"It'll be a beautiful campfire!~" Grabbing the gasoline and twisting the cap off, Jeonghan poured it all over the room before spilling the rest of its contents on the male after Joshua brought him upright in the chair, sitting loosely. As Joshua opened the window, he pulled a flare gun, shooting it upward as it bursted in purple, watching as everyone began to evacuate the building.

"And now," Jeonghan began, taking out a match and lighting it, "This will be our way of letting the fire consume the damned here~" With Joshua wrapped in his arm, standing at his side, Jeonghan tilted his head towards the tormented male. "All of your death here will be a reminder of who we are and what we do. So, thank you for being the reminder that The Purple Rose will forever reign glorious!" And as Jeonghan threw the match, the room set ablaze, the fire rising as it consumed hungrily, beginning to burn into the male's skin as he screamed.

Jeonghan and Joshua only watched with amusement and twisted delight, both turning around and leaving the building as the fire followed, but never reached far enough to catch the two as they joined the rest outside, the large building beginning to glow. And as they stood far away, Jeonghan wrapped his arms around Joshua, the other nuzzling him.

"Bring the building down, boys!" Jeonghan roared, and at his command, an explosion erupted within, the building beginning to collapse inside as the fire continued to rage, finishing their beautiful work. The members roared in triumph, laughing and sneering as they cheered for their group and the newlywed, watching the scene.

"Time to go home!" Jeonghan announced. "Everyone here deserves a rest after such a wonderful accomplishment tonight!"

"But to where?" Joshua questioned.

"Somewhere safer, I promise you that,"

💕| @ghoulxbaekhyun [Seok's Love/Bacon] @seventeen-chatbot [Jun's Woowoo/Fiance] @arinschoi [Mingyu's pumpkin] @heartbrokenxinseong [Jihoon's Moonlight] @kjiwon [Minghao's Rainbow]

Closest friends| @jiaqi-xu [Kiki] @kpop-shelter [Lovely Shelter] @vitoria-oc @bloodrose-cb [Julia] @shin-haneul [Haneullie] @sweetandsleepyjamie [Jamie] @frenemies-hyunsung [Rascals] @mitsukojen [Lovely Jennie] @pup-hendery [Pup] @mafia-chae @college-baekhyun [Wonwoo's Tutoring An Intellectual]

💎| @boxer-joshua @yanderexmingyu @decadewonwoo [Wok] @god-vernon @leejihoon-cb @van-gogh-minghao @weeb-wonwoo @mafia-svt @tattooartistjoshua @mafia-shua @vampireprince-jeonghan @yan-svt @captain-jihoon [and more]

🥀| @vampiremomo @princess-yeji @dungeonhybrids @incubuswooyoung @initial-d-renjun @la-soleilmafia-cb @floristluda @fairy-dejun @model-lucy @ateez-treasure9au-chatbot [DM for +/-]

[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Chapter Two

A: You know it really just sounds like your sister really cares about you

C: She does but she’s making this such a bigger deal than it needs to be. I just want to be able to sort my feelings out without feeling like I’m obligated to do something with them immediately

A: I know that feeling so well. My friend asked me if I was still in love with my ex and I don’t know how to answer her

C: I mean your relationship was unfinished so I could understand the possibility. No closure makes it feel like things never ended. They just stopped

A: you put it in much better words than I ever could. 

C: Coming from an emotionally challenged man, sometimes the right thing doesn’t always feel right at the time. It hurts. Caring about anyone comes with that risk but sometimes you have to see it from their side before you can heal. People tend to enter situations expecting others to be like them and we hurt ourselves by doing that. Your ex may have loved you but he didn’t know how to love you anymore and felt it was better to let you go than ruin you. It couldn’t have been easy for you to watch him struggle

A: No but I felt like he never gave me a chance to help

C: People don’t always want to be fixed. Being damaged may have been too comfortable for him

A: I wish I could’ve known if it was. He never really talked to me. I think something happened that he couldn't deal with it and he shut me out because of it

C: thats always possible especially if he wasn’t like that before

A: You ever think about getting into another relationship?

C:Thought about it? Sure but I think I only got enough love in me to take care of my daughter. I haven’t quite rebounded back either.

A: Did you and your ex-wife have the child together?

C: No, I”m in the process of fostering and adopting. I got Anesa when she was one years old

A: That is so cool.

C: You ever consider having a child?

A: It was a part of the plan when I was married but we never quite made it that far

C: Same here but there’s always alternatives

A: I’ll think about it. I am getting up there in age

C: If from any indication of your photo, you’d have no problems. Many women are having babies at your age

A: Why thank you for the ego boost

C: You ever consider dating again?

A: No. I think I am way too damaged to not ruin somebody else

C: Ah, I know the feeling

A: You’re a good listener, Chris

C: Thanks. You too. So what’s your night looking like?

A: A movie and a glass of wine. You?

C: Grading papers

A: for a music class?

C: They still have to do research papers for me. Allows me to gage how they grasp concepts and detect their style

A: Hmm...that’s interesting

C: Part of my class is songwriting and music composition, at least a basic level teaching of both. I have separate sections that go into each more in depth but only a few students are selected to be invited to take those classes. This is my main selection pool outside of those who audition

A: that sounds extensive

C: it can be but I like it

A: Do you only teach major classes or can students take you as an elective?

C: They can take me as an elective but most end up dropping the class by the second week

A: Really? Why?

C: It’s more work than they intended to do in an elective especially if you’re like a business or science major. It’s not exactly contributing to anything but your credit requirement 

A: True. I can understand that

C: Anna?

A: Yes?

C: You ever think about us meeting one day?

A: I’ve considered but I don’t know if I wanna ruin the mystery of you, yet. You?

C: Same lol

A; Well I got some wine and a movie to get to and I’ll leave you to your papers. Have a good night

C: You too

Robyn logged off and pressed her head into her pillow. Was it weird for her to start to like this guy? Honestly, they’ve never met so she wouldn’t know him from a hole in the wall yet she feels close to him like they’ve been friends forever. The fact he didn’t turn away when she started talking about her ex and even tried to help her understand some things was really deep for her. Her friends and family had tried but so much of what they said just seemed so biased and sympathy-ridden for her ex. Like where’s her sympathy? Did nobody care about how he acted affected her? Somehow Chris understood her and it was the craziest thing.

Chris turned to the next paper for one of his students and after a few moments acknowledged his mind was with Anna and not on his work. He could sympathize with her struggle to move on and the fact that she was probably still in love with her ex. He didn’t hate his but he was too damaged to love her like she deserved. A part of him hates that he wasn’t man enough to tell her that when he left. She probably had a hole in her just like Anna or maybe she had moved on just fine. It’s not fair to project his life onto her.

“Daddy, are you going to sleep soon?”

Chris turned to see Anesa standing in the doorway of the kitchen with her teddy bear in her arms. He opened his arms and she climbed into his lap, “Hey Love Bug, what you doing up?”

“It’s raining.”

Chris glanced over at the window and nodded his agreement, “you got scared, huh?”

“Yea.”

“Well there’s nothing to worry about, Daddy’s right here.”

“Daddy, am I ever gonna get a mommy?”

“Well Sweetheart, that’s a very complicated question.”

“Is it?”

“Yea, see I don't’ know if I wanna share you with anybody else.”

Anesa giggled, “well if I can share you, you think you can share me?”

“I’d have to think about it really hard. Is that something you’re nervous about?”

“I just don’t want you to be all alone.”

“I know, Love Bug but I’ll be just fine.”

“Auntie Jessica said you were married before.”

“I was.”

“What happened to her? Did she die?”

“No. Things just didn’t work out. I wasn’t exactly the right guy for her.”

“Oh. So she left?”

“No, I did but I really thought it was the best thing to do at the time.”

“Do you miss her?”

Chris sighed as he leaned his chin on the top of her head, “sometimes I do. Sometimes I do.”

“Does it make you sad?”

“It can but I’ve learned to deal with it.”

“Do you think you’d ever go back to her?”

“I don’t think that would be the right thing to do either.”

“Oh.”

“You sound so sad, Honey.”

“I’m sad for you, Daddy.”

“Why? I’m happy. I’m exactly where I want to be. Here with my Love Bug and my work. Daddy’s just fine.”

Anesa turned and hugged him as Chris blew out a breath over her shoulder.

                                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robyn washed her hands then sat down in her office. She had steady appointments all day, luckily mostly check ups but she was still tired. Being the head vet and the owner and shelter organizer always took a toll on her body. She twisted her neck from side to side to relieve some tension just as her office door opened, “Hi Beverly.”

Beverly, her trusty assistant, was always ready to rain on her parade, “Ms. Fenty, we just received a really huge invitation in the mail.”

“We?”

“Well you but you know what I mean.”

“What is it for?”

“The New York Society Charity Awards Gala. They want to recognize the shelter for its success.”

“That’s nice. Tell Ashley to go in my place.”

“Wait. What?”

“I don’t feel like rubbing elbows with the rich, that’s Ashley’s forte, let her do it.”

“Fenty, this is a huge opportunity for donations and connections. You cannot send your shelter manager in your place.”

“Why can’t I? She’s dealt with these people before. She even knows most of them. She has an Ivy League Degree, why can’t she go in my place?”

“The award is for you.”

“So?”

“Robyn, you can’t be serious.”

“I am in no condition to be bothered with anyone.”

“The gala isn’t for another month, you can’t muster up some give a fuck in a month.”

Robyn glared at Beverly, who simply folded her arms across her chest in response, “I’m not doing this.”

“You are doing this. I will schedule your appointment with your stylists for fittings and hair tryouts. We’ll see about getting you an escort and get a speech written for you.”

“I’m not going, Beverly.”

“You will go even if I have to get your entire family from Barbados to make you. This is a perfect opportunity and you will not squander it being anti-social.”

“Get out of my office, Beverly.”

“I will add the appropriate appointments to your calendar. Your 2:30 appointment canceled so you’re free until 4.”

Beverly promptly walked out of her office and Robyn tossed her head down on her desk. She couldn’t do this. She hadn’t been to an event like this since she was married to Chris. He’s a well-known architect and had a hand in a lot of buildings in the city. The circles aren’t that large in this tax bracket so she’s sure to run into people she knew back in California. She wasn’t ready for the questions and the stares if she showed up and especially if she showed up with someone else. They had kept their divorce quiet for several reasons mainly because she didn’t want to be embarrassed. Robyn Fenty, veterinarian extraordinaire, can’t even keep her marriage together. Some of those people would be colleagues, alumnus of her alma mater, people who whispered that once Chris got a taste of the good life, he wouldn’t stay with his middle school girlfriend long. Sadly, they were right. They barely made it three years before he walked out. She wasn’t going to this gala.

C: I really think you should attend. It’s for business.

A: It’s business that I don’t want anything to do with. I have associates specifically for things like this

C: Why is it so bad for you to go?

A: These parties always have people I knew back when I was married. Many of them don't know I’m divorced

C: Well people get divorced all the time

A: Yea but they normally don't have to be around the same people who said it wouldn’t last

C: Anna, you can’t be embarrassed about something so common.Things happens

A: That’s easy to say

C: Besides I would love to see a photo of you in your gown

A: Lol, is that the real reason you want me to go?

C: Well considering we aren’t meeting anytime soon, it’d be nice to see

A: it wouldn’t be a face shot.

C: Not changing anything for me

A: I mean I could just get dressed, post the picture and you’d be none the wiser

C: You could but I sense you’re a little too honest for that

A: Lol, I’ll take that as a compliment

C: Good, because I meant it as one

A: lol

C: are you writing lol because you’re actually laughing or because you’re smiling?

A: both

C: they do make emojis

A: Yea but I feel silly using them

C: Ah, I guess

A:You know what, I will go to the gala if you agree to go on a virtual outing with me

C: Like VR

A: More like a video meet up but no cameras

C: Just voices?

A: automated voices

C: you really wanna hold onto this mystery thing, huh?

A: I feel so comfortable with you, probably because I don’t know you but I feel like once you remove the mystery, shit gets too real

C: That’s a good rationale. How about this, my job has some assistance programs that can do text to speech. I can send you a few options, you choose one, we pick a date and we have our little blind date so to speak

A: you would do that for me?

C: Absolutely. I really like you, Anna

A: I like you too, Chris

“So you really like him but you won’t go on a real date with him?” Melissa asked.

“Mel, if I do that then this becomes way more than what it is.”

“Which is?”

“Two people just getting to know each other.”

“Without having to really know each other. You haven’t told this man your real name.”

“Because it doesn’t matter. That’s what I like most. The little things don’t matter.”

“So if he was using a fake name too, it wouldn’t bother you.”

“No. He’s not obligated to give me anything he doesn’t want to.”

“You are petrified of commitment.”

“I’ve been hurt enough, I don’t want to go through that again.”

“And you think by withholding basic information yet spending time with this man will prevent that.”

“The longer he remains a stranger, the easier it will be to walk away. I’m not looking for love or to move on. Just a new friend,” Robyn replied as she held a dress up to her body, “what do you think?”

“It’s nice. You really want to go long sleeves for this?”

“Either that or get a nice jacket. It gets cold at these things.”

“That’s true. So who’s your escort?”

“Nobody. I told Beverly that I’d go but I am not taking anybody with me.”

“Not even me?”

“Do you want to go? I can send in for a plus one.”

“Not really but it was nice you offered.”

“You sure Sis?”

“Very sure. I got a boyfriend to do things with on the weekends so I’ll be busy.”

“Oh rub it in. How is Juan anyway?”

“He is good. We were thinking about doing a friendcation next month. Go back to PR to see his family.”

“Oh that’s nice. I’m sure Lele and you will have a great time.”

“You wouldn’t come?”

“No. Hard pass.”

“I’m really tired of you ducking us, it’s not like we’re gonna fix you up on a blind date or something.”

“I know but I also don’t want to be the fifth wheel. No thank you.”

Melissa sighed, “I guess. Maybe if you’d get your life right with this new Chris, you could bring him.”

“I don’t want to meet him, Mel”

“I really don’t understand why not, y’all seem to have great chemistry.”

“Yea but I really just wanna leave it at that. I’m too fragile for anything more.”

“Have you ever thought to talk to your ex-husband?”

“Why? So he can make me feel even worse?”

“Or maybe so you can heal. Robyn, y’all had a really abrupt situation. You both were in a bad space. Maybe you just need to talk things out so you can move on.”

“Why do y’all coddle him so much? Why is it nobody’s mad at him but me?”

“Because we love both of you. Clearly, neither of you were in your right minds. Nobody thought you should've gotten divorced but neither of you were happy.”

“I did not want one. He wanted out and nobody seems to be lying that at his doorstep. It’s almost like you know something that I don’t.”

“Robs, that is most definitely not the case. We just don’t think being mad at anyone is gonna solve anything. Chris was hurting, from what we don’t know, but we all knew something wasn’t right with him. You were hurting, we all knew that too. Neither of you needed the extra weight of anyone else’s judgment.”

“It doesn’t feel very neutral.”

“Because you don’t want neutral, you want us to pick sides and that’s not gonna get any of us anywhere.”

“Well have you spoken to him?”

“We texted a few months ago but that was it.”

“Oh.”

“Do you wanna see him?”

“No because I’m still angry. Seven years later and I’m still fucking pissed. Seeing him would do me no good.”

“Robs, I think it might.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m thinking the navy blue, what about you?’

Melissa sighed, “I love it.”

“Great.”

Robyn grabbed the dress and headed to the cash register.

[fasterthanmydemons]

(Hello! Since you wrote in the essay about the twins and their beliefs that you'd love if people asked them directly, I'll ask Pietro a few things so he can ramble) What scares you the most in terms of supernatural stuff? Are you superstitious about some things while others don't make sense to you? Would you avoid a black cat or pet it? Can you watch a movie about exorcisms and sleep at night? Be honest Pietro, don't try to act super brave for the ladies :P

“First of all... what do you mean, act super brave for the ladies? I am super brave for the ladies. Always. Ladies... I’ve got you. Okay? Nobody is going to hurt you when I am around, supernatural or otherwise. Is just good to set the record straight on that right now. If there is way to punch ghosts in the face, I will find it, definitely. You have nothing to fear.”

(Mun: *epic facepalm*)

“What scares me most about supernatural things is what more what they mean than what they are. Angry ghost is... angry ghost, heh. I mean, it may be dangerous, but there are only limited amount of things it can do to you. But... just the fact that it exists, that becoming an angry ghost is a real possibility, is scarier to me. I don’t want to become an angry spirit that wanders around reliving being pissed off about dying or at whoever hill me. That is worse fate to me than death, to be tortured in the afterlife. And none of us really gets to choose when and how we die, so... you never know if maybe something will happen to you and you have all this unfinished business and feel like you can’t leave, or something happens and you just can’t let go because you’re so angry or upset. Until you die, you don’t know. Is scary to think that such a fate might be possible for me. And then the question becomes.. how to fix it? What if there is no way and I am stuck like that forever? I don’t like to think about it.”

“Also... ghosts don’t have bodies, right? So that means they can take mine. Or Wanda’s. Or anybody’s. That is really scary thought to me that a ghost might be able to take control of me and make me do things I would never want to do. And even scarier thought is if it is not ghost at all, but something else that might do it. Wanda and I believe in demons and creatures of evil that were never human to begin with. They can attach to places or people or objects and they have one purpose... to cause suffering in humans. To play cruel tricks, break people down, break apart relationships, destroy things like love and support and your sense of safety. And they don’t care, because they are evil and this brings them great pleasure to do it to you. That’s their sole purpose in life. So is very hard to break that hold on you once they have it or to convince them to stop or go away, because they want to be there. And what can I do about that? What are the rules with ghosts and demons? I mean... how do you know what will work and what won’t. Faith, I guess. That is one thing that hopeless spirits and evil demons don’t have. Faith, conviction, force of will... You have to be strong. I just hope I am strong enough if I ever need to be.”

“But what if I’m not? Like... what bothers me a lot about exorcism stories is that it can be a test of how strong you are in body and spirit. And of where your morals lie. Sometimes... is not about you. Is about... greater struggle of good and evil. you ever see a movie called The Exorcism of Emily Rose? Supposedly, is based on true story. There is part in there about... her having a dream or seeing a vision or something... of Virgin Mary. is not my religion, but it doesn’t need to be. The message is the same. So Mary says to her... you can stay and suffer with this demon in you, and your body will continue to waste away and be grotesquely injured, and you’ll suffer all this pain and torment... and then you’ll die. That’s it. Or... you can die right now and I will take you to heaven and all your suffering will stop. But... if you stay, you will be inspiration to many. You will be an example of strength and faith and an uncorruptible spirit. Un-corruptible? In-corruptible? Not corruptible? Bah, English! I hate it! Anyway, you get my point. So... the girl... Emily... she decides to stay. And now... she is considered a saint by some. People visit her grave and leave things and pray there. Is inspirational to lot of people. In my opinion, she made the right choice, but... it scares me a lot because... I don’t know what I would choose. I want to believe that I would be as strong as her, but I am just not sure. And how would that affect those I love, to see me that way? Or what if it was Wanda? What would I do? Again, I don’t like to think about it.”

“Something that really bothers me about supernatural beings is their ability to change natural laws. They can pass through solid objects. They can change temperatures and smells in a room. They can mess with time and disorient you. They twist and maim the bodies that God created and distort symbols of his to mean something obscene. Is just... uncomfortable, you know? There is evil like greed and gun violence and lying and things like that and then there is the evil of demons. Is on completely different level. It laughs in the face of order and holiness and sacredness and goodness, and I find that very terrifying. Because a creature that can do that... one that can manipulate God’s creations and turn upside-down nature’s laws... is powerful shit. What chance do I have of defeating something like that, huh? I guess that is where faith comes in. Faith in myself to be strong and faith in the gods to protect me and help me. I don’t know... is just something I hope I never have to encounter, and I hope they stay away from Wanda too.”

“I can sleep after exorcism movies or any horror movies, unless is keeping me up with thoughts about what I just mentioned. Existence uh... Exitence... no.. oh come on, what is word. Existental? Existential! That’s it. If a movie causes existential crisis in me, then I need to sit and think for a while. Like the exorcism movie with that girl making me question how strong I would be or could be, or what I would do if something like that happened to Wanda. Is not the weird eyes or screaming or speaking in tongues that bothers me, but that kind of stuff. That can definitely keep me up at night.”

“As far as superstitions... I don’t go as crazy as Wanda does. She has a superstition for everything it seems, heh. But... I don’t speak ill of the dead, that one is very serious. And I don’t damn or curse people unless I really mean it. I don’t even wish harm. You know, Americans especially are so quick with the profanity and phrases they throw out like water all the time... like... ‘I’m gonna kill you,’ or ‘you’re gonna pay,’ or ‘god damn you.’ Is not good to say unless you mean it. Words are given power by emotions behind them. You should never play with curses like those. Sometimes you might not mean it, but the gods hear you anyway and they make it happen. Is just not anything worth playing with. People should take it more seriously. I have no problem petting black cats, though, and neither does Wanda. She loves cats. I love... anything furry and cute and wiggly, heh.”