#don't know what i'm doing anymore just ignore everything

[melminli]

BANG BANG BANG lll

summery - thanos was always just such an easy person to argue with. you really hated the guy and that was something that was never going to change, even if your life was on the line and it fucking was.

pairing: (thanos) choi su-bong x fem. reader

word count: 2.8k

contains: violence, drug use and addiction, dark content - just usual squid game stuff really

a/n: many wished for a part 3, so here you go!

prev. | masterlist.

Money, money, money - must be funny, in the rich man's world? And you know what, it probably was. Though, it wasn't as if a single fucking person in this room would know that. Otherwise, you all wouldn't be here in the first place, would you now?

There were a few among you who couldn't shake off the desire to understand those lyrics, even if it meant risking your lives for it. Well, and by a few you meant more than half of the people around here. You would bet that they would put even more on the line if they had anything else, but no - your own life was all you had and maybe well, the life of the others around you.

All it took was stuffing a few banknotes into a golden piggy to make all the other pigs hope that it could be them up there - that they could be the lucky person that got the money. It seemed to be true, you could take people's lives but not their stupid hope. The one thing that would still be the demise of many, it had to. The prize money wouldn't increase without their sacrifice, after all.

Everyone knows how stories like that ended. You know, the ones where desperate people fight against each other for a chance? Watching all the glowing faces when the prize money was announced after the first game ended, was like watching a beaten-up dog that someone put outside - only to lure it back into the house with a bowl of food. It was just sick. Well, at least it made you sick.

Your lower lip wouldn't stop quivering and you tried to stop it by biting it, but to no avail. You were sweating while still freezing simultaneously and you were very much familiar with the signals your body was trying to send you. However, you tried to ignore them as best as you could, just like you did with everything else right now.

“Hey, you're really not going to talk to me? What if I die in the next game and the last thing you did was ignoring me?” Thanos' incredibly annoying voice spouted some bullshit again as he leaned against your bed while standing up. He had been trying to get your attention for a while now but you were stubborn and continued to show him your back. He raised an eyebrow questioningly as he nudged you with his hand. “Do you really want this on your conscience? Hey, are you serious? I thought that -”

Thanos stopped what he was saying when you turned aggressively to face him with a rather angry look on your face. He slowly brought his hand back to him as your eyes continued to glance at him with that look. “No, you don't think and that's the problem.” you spat out the words full of venom and tried to control yourself when your eyes shifted to the blue label with the circle on his chest. “Why should I care if you die in the next game, huh? You obviously want to keep playing, you -” and you searched for a word to curse him out, but there just wasn't one that could wrap up your feelings at this moment.

It happened again - he took another chance away from you to just live your life. Maybe it wasn't entirely fair of you to blame him when it was a whole group of people who had voted to stay here, but you stopped caring about what was fair a long time ago. “Whatever, nothing matters anymore anyway.” you laughed out in exasperation as you ran your shaky hand over your face. “I'm going to die next round anyway, but I guess that suits you pretty well, huh? You know, since that means that another 100 million won goes into your pretty piggy bank?”

It was a large sum of money, no question, but - was your life really only worth that much?

Thanos grabbed your arm in annoyance as he shook his head in disbelief at what you were saying. You weren't just a sum of money to him and he didn't understand why you would think that. Yes, he admitted that he fucked up all the time and he had never been the best friend to you, but - if there was one thing, one person that he could care about - that would be you, no questions asked. He still did after all these years, even if he didn't say it, even if he did it in his own twisted way. “Are you crazy? Stop talking stupid shit, you're not going to die!” He exclaimed angrily, not even considering that as an option. “If you'd just stop being so fucking stubborn and join my team, you'd know that too.”

You laughed. “What team? You and your little boyfriend back there?” you asked him as you looked at the guy a little further behind you. He seemed like a good tag-along waiting for his boss. How cute, you were about to throw up. “I doubt you two idiots are going to increase my chances of staying alive.”

Thanos looked at you offensively. “Nam-su is not my boyfriend, okay? And we may still be few, but that will change soon. Can't you just - please trust me? Please?” he just straight up started begging and to be honest, you didn't have much energy left for any arguing at this point.

You wish you had the privilege of being able to say that everything was easier back when you two were kids, but your life was exhausting even then. Your mother had too many children with a deadbeat man like your father and after you were born, they put all their hope in you for some reason - to get them out of their miserable poor lives. You weren't some hero, not then and not now. “Do you know why I have so much debt?” you finally asked Thanos tiredly and he just looked at you silently before shaking his head.

You nodded. Of course, he didn't know, you had never told him since you preferred to cut him off. “Because I lost my scholarship at university after they found out I was a fucking crackhead,” you answered him with a depressed smile. “And it doesn't really help much to be smart or anything if you don't have any money. That was my only chance to pay my way through to not end up like this but now I have to figure out how to pay for all that without working myself to death at a fucking minimum wage job,” you told him.

You thought you could finally get rid of some of the stress - try again with the money you would earn here. Simply giving up your studies wasn't an option, since that would mean that you had to work shitty jobs which didn't pay much for your entire life and not just while studying. You refused to face the same fate as your mother - dropping out after she found out that she was pregnant with you was the first mistake that led to many more.

But of course, you would never complain ever again - hell, you would much rather prefer working every night shift in the world if that would mean that you could get out of here. “And you know what I've been thinking ever since? That if I had never asked you as a stupid kid if I could play with your Iron Man figure, none of this would have ever happened to me.”

This is just fucking great. Fucking bullshit. Thanos angrily smacked himself on the head, knowing he deserved all of this. Yeah, you probably even made the right decision by cutting him out of your life back then, but he still couldn't help but continue to be selfish and want you. He wanted you in his life even if he was the worst thing that ever happened to you because you know what? It didn't change the fact that you were still the best thing that would ever happen to him.

He had been a selfish asshole his whole life and that wouldn't change now, so he couldn't just let you go. “Look, it's just one more game. The money we would have gotten if we quit wouldn't even be enough to buy a Lamborghini and I have to afford at least…” he had to strain his head a little and count with his fingers. “…four of them to pay off my debts. Hell, maybe enough people will die in the next round and there'll be even some left over. I'll also give you back all the money I owe you, I promise! And I'll give you even more if you need it. I want to help you, I really do,” he tried to explain, knowing that he would have more than enough once he took Myung-gi's share too.

He just doesn't understand. You sighed tiredly. “Whatever, I don't really care anymore,” you said and finally gave in. “Okay, sure, I'll join your stupid loser team. Just stop bugging me.”

Thanos smiled broadly and didn't stop himself from pulling you into a weird hug. “You won't regret this! I'll take care of you, okay?” he clarified, and even though he claimed the opposite, you couldn't help but feel like you'd regret it - you always did. “We're going to get out of here and everything will go back to the way it was before, okay?”

You just looked at him and said nothing more as Thanos continued to hold you, finally noticing your slightly poor physical condition. He knew how to solve the problem as well as you did, but even in his current befuddled state, he wasn't sure if he should offer you a pill. “Oh, um - I know this probably isn't the right time for this, but it still feels like I should ask…” he spoke up, looking down at his cross necklace.

You tried to hold back. At least for now. “Ehm, no, I'm fine -” you declined with a slight shake and nodded. “Yes, I'm fine, I'll just go to sleep - exactly.”

You could already tell that this night wasn't going to be an easy one, but as you watched Thanos and that Nam-su guy shoo a few other people out of their beds around your area, so that they could take their place, you knew for sure. How embarrassing, you thought to yourself as you pulled the blanket over your body and hoped that the lights would go out soon.

“Welcome to your second game. We will begin shortly, and this game will be played in teams. Please divide into teams of five in the next ten minutes. Let me repeat -”

I guess we won't be playing Dalgona, after all. You didn't really blame the previous winner of the games, too much. After all, he was in the same shoes as all of you.

“So, we need two more people,” Nam-gyu stated correctly as Thanos confidently slapped him on the back, not doubting picking the best from the pool of players. “Yeah, let's see who we can find. Preferably someone with a lot of muscle and strength,” he said, although you weren't sure what the point of that was since you would be playing children's games. Although, on second thought, the strong kids always managed to win the easiest back then, too…

Thanos looked at you as he pointed his index finger at the ground. “You, wait here. We won't take long,” he commanded you as if you were his pet and you felt your eyebrows twitch slightly at the audacity while you silently watched the two guys go away.

Of course, you didn't listen to what he said and just looked around the crowd yourself when you saw how most of the players had already formed groups. I don't want to be in a team with four idiots, you thought to yourself as you saw two people who seemed to be talking to each other. They seemed to be around your age which made you a bit more comfortable when approaching them. “Excuse me…” you said shyly when you met them because talking to strangers still was something that made you a little nervous. “Would you mind if I joined you?”

The players with the numbers 380 and 125 on their chests looked slightly surprised in your direction. The woman looked at your figure briefly before crossing her arms in front of her. “We are only two, so far.” she clarified before your own number seemed to catch her attention. “Hey, aren't you the one who's always hanging out with that crazy purple-haired guy? I would have expected you to be on a team with him?”

You stroked your hair, slightly uncomfortable. "Did you really notice that? Shit, now everyone probably thinks I'm friends with this guy, how embarrassing,” you mumbled to yourself, and the girl just grinned slightly at your appearance while the shy boy looked at you in confusion. “He's like an annoying tick. He just won't leave me alone. Otherwise, I really wouldn't bother with him! You have to trust me!” you begged her, trying to salvage whatever was left of your image.

And speaking of the devil, it didn't take much longer for Thanos to shout out your name after you said that. “Hey! I told you to stay there, what's so fucking hard to understand?!” he spits out annoyed as he grabs you by the shoulders to shake your body before you can even think of hiding from him. Finally, he noticed the other two next to you. “Who are they?” he asked you as you pushed his hands away.

“I want to be on their team,” you announced.

He looked unbelieving and betrayed. “But you promised me you'd be on Team Thanos!”

“Well, I was clearly lying. So, you'd stop bugging me.”

Thanos looked at you with narrowed eyes before glancing at the two other guys he had recruited along with Nam-guy. “You two - go find another team. Now,” he said simply as he copied your posture and made a counter announcement. “Because we're going to unite our teams. You can't get rid of me so easily, you're staying with me.”

Of course. The player with the number 380 on her chest threw an arm around your shoulder as she looked challengingly at your annoying friend. “And who says that we would want to do that?” she posed the question.

Nam-gyu already knew he didn't like this one. “Hey, who do you think you're talking to -” he started to threaten her, but Thanos put his arm out in front of him before he could go after her.

There was a brief, strange silence as the rapper shifted his gaze between you and the other girl next to you. This girl doesn't look straight, is she interested in…?

Thanos narrowed his eyes as his gaze met yours again and he could feel his muscles tense at the things that were running through his head right now. Number 380 was provoking him with her actions. This shit makes me fucking angry, man. But it only took him maybe a few seconds of imagining the whole thing between you two a bit further to change his mind. Never mind, that's actually pretty hot.

“You're safe as long as the great Thanos protects you, eh? Besides, I doubt you'll find anyone better, there are only two minutes left.” he suddenly spoke out and none of you wanted to know what went on in his head in the short time that he was silent. “Come on, this is going to be fun! Who's the little guy behind you?” he asked and you and number 380 looked at each other reluctantly for a moment before revealing your hidden member.

Nam-guy let out a heavy sigh as his eyes met the loser in front of him but Thanos didn't seem to care much about that. “What's your name?” he asked, watching as the guy looked up at him a little anxiously. “Oh, my name is Min-su…”

Even his name sounds pathetic, Nam-gyu thought to himself and couldn't stop himself from voicing his dissatisfaction. “This guy honestly gives me mad loser vibes, dude…” he complained, but Thanos paid him no mind as he walked towards the member. “Nah, this is perfect - we're the perfect team! Right Nim-su?” he asked the little guy while hugging him more tightly from the side and laughing when he saw his shy reaction. “I like you, you're cute.”

Seeing the two of them together was a really weird view, you honestly felt sorry for Min-su. “I'm sorry about that…” you whispered a little awkwardly to player 380 but she just patted you on the shoulder reassuringly. “Don't worry, how those two behave is not your responsibility. I suppose we're in this thing together now.” she laughed, not sure exactly what to make of this all herself.

You smiled at her before your eyes went to the watch on the wall which showed that you all only had half a minute left before the next game would start. “I mean, I guess so…”

taglist:

@innies-goth-gf @so-dramatic1 @fiicalapsiholoaga @h3artz4soph @luhvaryan @blackcatl0ver @hollxe1 @vixionix @barrythestrawberry041 @hashekyu @daphne00daiz @jayyzki @nikoeatschemicals @noharaaa @llynx7 @diaryofapsycho @nosla65 @tsuniio @gaabyzz @nejilost @homeless-clown @fr3akyyg1rll @ametheslime @chrypir @dior-heartsforever17

[woozinhos]

Angry sex with Gyu? +after care 🎀💕

Mingyu is pacing back and forth in the living room, his fists clenched at his sides. He's clearly upset about something, and the tension in the air is palpable. You stand by the door, watching him with a mixture of concern and frustration. You know he's been on edge lately, but you don't know why.

"Mingyu," you say cautiously, taking a step towards him. "What's going on?"

Mingyu stops pacing and turns to look at you, his eyes blazing with anger. "What's going on?" he repeats, his voice sharp. "You really have to ask me that?"

He runs a hand through his hair, clearly trying to calm himself down, but failing miserably.

"You've been ignoring me for weeks," he says, his voice rising. "You're always busy with work, or hanging out with your friends. You don't even seem to care about me anymore."

You flinch at his words, feeling a pang of guilt. You hadn't realized how much your busy schedule had been affecting him.

"Mingyu, that's not true," you say, taking another step towards him. "I do care about you. I've just been really busy with work lately."

Mingyu scoffs, clearly not believing you. "Busy with work? Or just avoiding me?" he retorts.

You feel a surge of anger at his accusation. "How dare you say that," you say, your voice rising. "I have been working my ass off for the past few weeks. I'm trying to provide for us, and make a name for myself in my career."

Mingyu crosses his arms over his chest, his jaw clenched. "And what about me?" he asks, his voice cold. "What about my needs? Don't I matter at all?"

You're getting more and more frustrated with Mingyu's attitude. "Of course you matter," you say, your voice trembling with anger. "But I can't just drop everything and cater to your every whim. I have my own life too, you know."

Mingyu rolls his eyes, clearly not convinced. "Your life is more important than mine, is that it?" he sneers. "You're too busy for me, but not too busy to spend time with your friends?"

You feel like you're being attacked from all sides. "That's not fair," you say, your voice rising even more. "My friends are my support system. They help me through the stress of work and keep me sane. They're important to me, yes, but so are you."

Mingyu shakes his head, clearly not satisfied with your answer. "But I'm your boyfriend," he says, his voice low and dangerous. "You should be spending more time with me, not them."

You throw your hands up in frustration. "You're being ridiculous," you say, your anger boiling over. "I can't drop everything and cater to your every need. I have my own life and my own responsibilities. You need to start being more understanding and supportive of that."

Mingyu takes a step towards you, his eyes flashing with anger. "Supportive? I've been supportive this whole time," he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I've been supportive while you ignore me and prioritize your work over our relationship."

You feel a wave of anger and guilt wash over you. You know he's right, in a way. You have been prioritizing your work and your friends over him.

But you can't back down now. You stand your ground, refusing to let him win this argument.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been spending as much time with you as you'd like," you say, trying to keep your voice calm. "But that doesn't give you the right to be angry and accuse me of neglecting you."

Mingyu lets out a bitter laugh. "So now it's my fault that I'm upset?" he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You want me to just sit back and watch as you prioritize everything else over me?"

He takes another step closer to you, his eyes blazing with anger. "You want me to just be understanding and supportive, even though you clearly don't care about me anymore?"

You feel a pang of guilt at his words, but you refuse to let him guilt-trip you.

"I do care about you," you say, your voice shaking slightly. "But I can't just drop everything and be at your beck and call. I have my own life, my own dreams and goals."

Mingyu scoffs again, his face twisted in anger. "Dreams and goals? Is that all I am to you? Some obstacle in your way?"

You're getting more and more frustrated with his accusations. "That's not what I meant and you know it," you say, your voice rising again. "You're my boyfriend, and I love you. But I can't just give up everything I've worked for to make you happy."

Mingyu's face twists into a sneer. "So what, you love me, but you don't care about me?" he says, his voice dripping with venom. "You love me, but you're willing to sacrifice our relationship for your career?"

You feel like you're being attacked from all sides, and you can't take it anymore.

"That's not fair," you say, tears welling up in your eyes. "I'm trying my best to balance everything. I'm trying to make you happy, I'm trying to make a name for myself, and I'm trying to be a good girlfriend. But it's not easy, and I can't just drop everything and cater to your every whim."

Mingyu scoffs again, his anger still burning bright. "You think you're trying?" he says, his voice cold. "You think that working hard and ignoring me is the same as trying?"

You can't hold it in anymore. You break down in tears, sobbing uncontrollably. You feel like you're being torn apart, torn between your career and your relationship. Mingyu watches you cry, his expression unreadable. For a moment, he looks like he might comfort you, but then he turns away, his face set in a scowl.

"Fine," he says coldly. "If you can't make time for me, then maybe we shouldn't be together."

You look at Mingyu through tear-filled eyes, your heart aching at his words. You know that he's angry and hurt, but you can't believe that he's suggesting breaking up.

"You don't mean that," you whisper, your voice shaking. "You don't really want to end things, do you?"

Mingyu pushes you against the wall, his lips crashing against yours in a rough, desperate kiss. He holds you tightly, his hands gripping your arms almost painfully. You're caught off guard by his sudden aggression, but you can't deny the heat that courses through your body as he kisses you. Despite the anger and tension between you, there's still a spark of passion and desire that burns bright.

Mingyu deepens the kiss, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth as he presses you harder against the wall. His hands move from your arms to your hips, his fingers digging into your skin as he holds you in place. He's rough and demanding, taking what he wants without any regard for your feelings. But you can't deny the way your body responds to his touch, the way your heart races and your breath quickens.

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as you kiss him back with equal fervor. Despite the anger and hurt between you, there's still an undeniable chemistry that draws you together. Mingyu breaks the kiss, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. He looks down at you, his eyes dark with desire and anger.

"You're mine," he growls, his voice low and possessive. "Don't you forget that."

He grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him. "You belong to me, and no one else. Understand?"

Mingyu's grip on your chin tightens, his eyes burning with a fierce intensity. "Say it," he demands, his voice rough. "Say that you belong to me."

He's angry, desperate, and frustrated, and he needs to hear you say the words. He needs to feel like he has some sort of control over the situation, over you. You look up at him, your heart pounding in your chest. Despite the anger and tension between you, there's a part of you that still loves him, that still wants to please him.

"I belong to you," you whisper, your voice shaking slightly. "Only to you."

Mingyu's grip on your chin relaxes slightly, and a small flicker of satisfaction crosses his face. He leans in closer, his lips hovering just inches from yours.

"Good," he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin. "Now let me show you just how much you belong to me."

Mingyu picks you up and slams you down onto the bed, pinning you beneath him. His body is heavy on top of yours, trapping you in place. He looks down at you with a possessive glint in his eyes, his hands roaming over your body with a sense of ownership.

"You're mine to do with as I please," he growls, his voice low and rough. "And I'm going to make sure you never forget it."

Mingyu rips your clothes off with a rough, aggressive motion, leaving you exposed and vulnerable beneath him. He looks down at you with a predatory gaze, his eyes roaming over your naked body hungrily. He takes in every curve, every inch of skin, and his desire for you only seems to grow.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs, his hands tracing the lines of your body possessively. "All mine."

Mingyu is a mess of desperation and need as he looks down at you. His body is taut with tension, his muscles coiled like a spring. He's been holding back for so long, and now he's unleashing all of his pent-up frustration and desire on you.

He leans down, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers, "I need you. I need to feel you, to claim you as mine."

Mingyu quickly strips off his own clothes, his movements rough and impatient. He doesn't care about the clothes, he only cares about getting as close to you as possible. As he sheds his clothing, his body is revealed to you, toned and muscular, and filled with an intensity that takes your breath away. As Mingyu stands before you, completely naked and on full display, your thoughts begin to race. You can't help but think about how attractive he is, how desirable he is, and how much you've been neglecting him lately.

You think about all the times you've been too busy with work or your friends to spend time with him, and a pang of guilt hits you hard. You realize that you've been taking him for granted, and that you've been putting your career above your relationship. But as Mingyu crawls on top of you, his body pressing against yours, all thoughts leave your mind. All you can focus on is the feeling of his skin against yours, the heat between you, and the raw desire that's consuming you both.

Mingyu's voice is low and commanding as he speaks, his eyes dark with lust. "Get on all fours," he growls, his tone leaving no room for argument.

You can tell from his tone that this is going to be rough and hard, that he's going to take you completely and utterly. And you find yourself obeying his command without hesitation, getting onto your hands and knees for him.

Mingyu positions himself behind you, his hands roaming over your body possessively. He leans down, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers, "You're mine to use, to claim. You're going to do exactly what I say, and you're going to take everything I give you."

His hands grip your hips tightly, pulling you back against him as he presses his body against yours. You can feel his hardness pressing against you, and you know that he's about to take you with a ferocity that you've never experienced before.

Mingyu doesn't waste any time, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he thrusts into you with a forceful motion. He doesn't hold back, doesn't take it slow, he just takes you with a raw, primal need. You cry out at the sudden intrusion, your body adjusting to his size and the rough pace he's setting. He's using you, claiming you, and you find yourself lost in the intensity of the moment. Mingyu sets a brutal pace, his hips snapping against yours with a force that's almost bruising. He's relentless, taking you hard and fast, his grunts and moans filling the room.

You can feel yourself losing control, your body responding to his rough touch and his relentless rhythm. You can feel yourself being pushed to the edge, your senses overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. Mingyu is lost in the moment, too consumed by his own pleasure to speak. All that comes out of his mouth are grunts and moans, primal sounds of desire and need. He focuses solely on the physical sensations, on the feel of your body beneath him, on the way you tighten around him as he moves. He's single-minded in his pursuit of his own release, driven by a raw, primal need to claim you as his own.

Mingyu's hand comes down hard on your ass, the sharp sting sending a jolt of pain and pleasure through your body. He grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back roughly as he continues to pound into you from behind. He's taking complete control, using you however he wants, and you can feel yourself surrendering to him completely. The combination of the pain from the slap and the pleasure from his rough touch is overwhelming, sending waves of sensation coursing through your body. You can feel yourself teetering on the edge of release, your body trembling with need.

Mingyu senses your building pleasure, and he doubles his efforts, his thrusts becoming even more forceful and relentless. He's determined to push you over the edge, to make you come undone beneath him. You try to speak, but your words come out as a strangled moan. You can barely form coherent thoughts, let alone sentences, as Mingyu continues to drive you to the brink of ecstasy.

He chuckles darkly, his grip on your hair tightening as he pulls your head back even further. "What's that?" he growls, his voice low and rough. "Speak up, I can't hear you."

Mingyu's grip on your hair loosens slightly, allowing you to speak more clearly. But he doesn't slow his pace, continuing to drive into you with a brutal intensity.

"Say it," he commands, his voice laced with a mixture of dominance and desire. "Tell me what you want."

You try to form the words, but it's hard to think straight with the way Mingyu is moving inside you. You manage to gasp out, "I...I want to come."

Mingyu's eyes darken at your words, a wicked smile spreading across his face. "You want to come?" he asks, his voice low and taunting. "You want to come for me?"

Mingyu's voice is firm and commanding as he says, "Then come for me. Come for me now."

He continues to move inside you, his thrusts becoming even more forceful and precise, hitting that spot inside you that sends shivers down your spine. He's relentless in his pursuit of your pleasure, determined to make you come undone completely. You can feel the pressure building inside you, the tension coiling tighter and tighter until it's almost unbearable. Mingyu senses that you're close, and he leans down, his lips brushing against your ear.

"That's it," he whispers, his voice low and husky. "Let go for me. Let me feel you come."

And with one final thrust, you shatter beneath him, your body convulsing with pleasure as you come hard around him. Mingyu groans as he feels you come around him, the sensation sending a jolt of pleasure through his own body. He continues to move inside you, drawing out your orgasm until you're trembling and spent. He slows his pace, his movements becoming more gentle as he lets you come down from your high. He runs a hand down your back, his touch gentle and soothing now.

"That's my good girl," he murmurs, his voice soft and possessive. "You're mine, and only mine."

Mingyu pulls out of you, his own body trembling with need as he takes himself in his hand. He looks down at you, his eyes dark with desire, as he strokes himself to completion. It only takes a few moments before he's coming, spilling himself over your body with a low groan. He watches as his cum covers your skin, marking you as his own. Mingyu's chest is heaving as he catches his breath, his body still trembling with the aftershocks of his orgasm. He looks down at you, his eyes roaming over your body as if he's memorizing every inch of you.

He reaches out a hand, running his fingers through the mess on your skin. "You're so beautiful like this," he murmurs, his voice rough with desire. "Mine to mark and claim."

Mingyu pulls you into his arms, holding you close as he strokes your hair gently. He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, pressing soft kisses to your skin.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice low and sincere. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you like that. I just...I've been feeling neglected lately, and I took it out on you."

You curl up against Mingyu, burying your face in his chest. "I'm sorry too," you whisper, feeling guilty for neglecting him. "I didn't realize how much I've been taking for granted. I promise I'll do better."

Mingyu holds you close, running his hand up and down your back in a soothing motion. "I know you will," he says, his voice gentle. "I just need you to understand that I have needs too. And sometimes I need you to be there for me, to take care of me."

Mingyu looks down at you, his eyes softening. "Would you like me to run a bath for us?" he asks, his voice gentle and considerate. "It might help us both relax and unwind."

You nod, a small smile playing on your lips. "Yes, that sounds nice," you reply, snuggling closer to him.

Mingyu presses a kiss to the top of your head before getting up and heading to the bathroom. You can hear the sound of running water as he prepares the bath, and you can't help but feel a sense of anticipation building within you.

[ghostoffuturespast]

Honestly, getting real tired carrying and supporting other folks around here when most of them aren't returning the favor...

[bandsandwristbands]

Vent post

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically

& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.

obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?

anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"

[lucyvaleheart]

.

[orion-archives]

I'm tired. Of all of this.

Every fucking day feels like the same, yet it gets heavier. Things get worse, nothing gets better and the few things that gave me security, happiness, where I thought I could escape and be free for some moments, are getting corrupted, forgotten, stained forever, never to be the same refuge they once were.

I'm tired of living sometimes. Of existing on this world.

I know how dying feels; it's calming, the darkness eats you and you feel without worries for the first time in your existance. You know it and that frees you.

But I don't want to die. I'm a coward. I want to continue living on this earth just because I think I can do something in the future, something that will fix everything, something that will give a purporse to everything I've done and lived through.

But we all know that is just a lie to make us feel better, don't we?

Because, at the end of all, do we really matter? What can assure us that?

I'm tired. Too tired.

I want to go somewhere else, but there is nowhere to escape. I want to say that I want to go home, go to the park, go to a forest and be happy. But this is something that will haunt me, haunt me forever and everywhere until the end.

Because you can't escape yourself.

I'm tired...

[moe-broey]

Petition to Stop the Passage of Time.

[inkedlove]

so frustrating when you wanna be someone's friend and they just are not cooperating. I'M INTERESTED IN YOU AS A PERSON. PLEASE INTERACT WITH ME.

[because-its-eurovision]

Hi! How are you? ☺️

Alive!

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

[malusrecord]

((I'm really fuckin sad that I feel that I'm not able to engage with a fando/m that I truly love and adore with all my heart---or that my engagement isn't wanted within said space, to be a bit more precise, close friends know more concrete details and I won't go into it in full here---and how it's such a strongly cemented impression (and some bad experiences have not helped, nor has the size of the fa/ndom which makes things even more limited, complicated, etc) and my main blog has been suffering as a result. I hate it.))

[cosmojjong]

how to explain to unis that yuto and yanan are probably never going back to ptg without them crying

[xxlelaxx]

Anxiety makes enjoying good things so hard

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

It never gets any fucking easier does it