#don't kill me for the caption
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#queen of facial expressions#idk i miss her#add your caption#when someone i don't like talks to me:#when i wanna cry really bad and someone says i have to be grateful i'm alive:#when the love of my life is walking away and my boss says she wants to meet me (to kill me):#villanelleedit#villaneveedit#villanelle#jodie comer#killingeveedit#keedit#ke s3#killing eve#ke#women#oksanaastankova's#jodiecomeredit
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omg cas my fairycore gf 😌💖💫💝🦋💗🌈🎀
#it's KILLING me htat they don't even mention supernatural in the caption theyre just like UwU y2k alternative#the pig squeals
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this season of fortnite is so much more fun
#text#i don't get irrationally angry when i get killed with caption America's shield#but the cars made me irrationally angry
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More misc. daily life pictures and such
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1 & 2 - Very bright pretty looking sky !#2. HUGE icicle that looked like you could kill someone with it or something.. Pulled from near a gutter on the side of a building#3. & 4 & 5 - various images from a silly party I had where I pretended to be some elf king turning like 204 years old lol (also not like#a REAL party. Only my roommates were there really and we're all in the same household bubble.#just to clarify. I would never dare have a large party anyway given#my hermitous nature but on top of that.. didn't want there to be some implication that I'm having a Party while covid is still ongoing lol.#NEVER.. But I do love dressing up as some fantasy character so much.. The only thing that could ever bring a true hermit wizard#to engage with others socially is the prospect of connecting it somehow to fantasy worlds and costumes lol. One must simply dress up#as a silly 200 year old man from time to time and pretend you've never seen a balloon before in your life. etc.#6. bapy boye... feets#7. The main food that I made for the elderly elf man 'party'. which was a Deconstructed Beef Wellington (kind of as ajoke since I watch s#o many silly cooking competition shows and they always make stuff 'deconstructed' at the last minute when under time limits or whatever.)#I've wanted to make beef wellington a few times but Ithink to do it well I'd need like..an actual kitchen and a lot of time and#an oven that fully works to bake things and etc. etc. So I thought this would be an easier method. A thick steak cut round to kind of mimi#c the round tenderloin or whatever it is in a wellington. instead of the puff pastry being wrapped around - I just did star shaped cut outs#of pastry and baked them and put them on top (to go with the star theme). instead of mushroom duxelles being wrapped around in pastry#its in a little circle under the steak. and instead of mustard being brushed onto the meat I made a mustard gravy sauce type of thing#Then of course asparagus on the side.. my favorite... Though I know some wellington#also has a layer of prosciutto I think. or I saw one person use crepes. I didn't feel it was necessary to incorporate that too lol#8. bapy son helping me do a giant puzzle that took me hours and I had no idea it was actually that large of a puzzle#until I started putting it together and for some reason it made me stressed by the end instead of relaxed lol.. puzzle fatigue#photo diary
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The Attack On Club Crépuscule (2023); colourised.
#i hope i got the name right#the lack of captions for ep3 rlly be killing me#apd don't fail me now#jrwi the suckening#jrwi ts#jrwi ts spoilers#jrwi the suckening spoilers#krow posts
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I think it's funny how sometimes you'll see some very shippy-looking art or something and go to reblog it and it'll be tagged or captioned 'don't tag as ship' and like. well. you do you but you drew it like that and sure I don't have to reblog your whatever, I can just scroll on by but you drew it that way and you can't stop me from thinking it
#megan whines into the empty abyss of cyberspace#this is a shoutout not only to the selection of billford antis drawing the shippiest billford art you've ever seen#then having conniptions if you assume it's meant to be shippy about the canon relationship they've just drawn but ALSO#about that one fanart I saw randomly that had the stan twins snuggled up in bed together with the caption 'if you tag as ship I'll kill you#and like.#maybe this is only child of me but I don't actually think sixty-ish year old grown men siblings *do* tend to lie in bed together actually#and I mean like something something toxic masculinity lack of safe outlets to express platonic/filial physical affection but like. guys.#be so fr with me as the kids say#how are you NOT supposed to interpret that as intentional incest art??
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#I don't know why#but the 'charlie's little hand' thing#and the emojis#are killing me#these feel like a caption Keith would write#to this deeply suspicious photo#the rolling stones#charlie watts#keith richards#ronnie wood#old married band#instagram
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[IMG ID: Photo of a hand posing to show off nail polish. The polish is a detailed design that mimics a computer chip or board. Behind the hand is a pile of computer boards for comparison. Watermarked nailpopllc.tumblr.com END ID]
*tsk* Gotta hate it when you chip a nail.
#normally I don't add IDs just out of lack of capacity for brevity but#the post calls the joke the caption but then has no actual alt text#and the irony was kind of killing me#so when I didn't find one in the notes easily I made my own shrug
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#mhac.txt#beastie.posting#i don't even have a caption because adam's is killing me#the amount of times i've scrolled past that tweet but never noticed the caption
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kiss me till you bite ♪
#river dipping#ts4#ts4 edit#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#these are from an animation not a pose so if you wanna see this in motion just go to my video tag <3#and that gnarly ass bite on theo's throat prompted me to use this song from their playlist as the caption#anyway. more editing practice :3c there were actually six screenshots but i decided to just do the first three...#also i didn't actually end up finishing these while jerma was streaming last night bc i got too distracted watching him play#instead i finished them like riiiiight before i went to sleep as i was listening to his sorcery streams#normally i just hop between jerma videos or listening to something#really my editing go-tos are jerma / mattodore playlists / podcasts / khadija mbowe or tee noir#i don't listen to a ton of podcasts tho. it's either relistening to i am in eskew / the magnus archives / wolf 359#or listening to behind the bastards / if books could kill / pick me up i'm scared / you're wrong about / or maintenance phase#...once again making a post where the tags have nothing to do with the actual post. well. <3#uh. say something abt this post river. um. i like when mattodore kiss but you can't actually see it :)#they only ever kiss in private so... i think it's fitting :)<3#something abt mattodore being so physical in public but having this line where they almost never kiss around others... brain buzzes#it's bc of theo... kissing is too personal to him. and with matthias he's never cared about it before but... kissing theo... woof.#the way theo melts when he gets kissed... matthias likes to keep that for himself.#now that this is finished i need to get to that ask in my inbox... which i definitely should have started answering by now... 🧘
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put it all on red (bull) | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem russell reader
her brother won the race? does she know? does she care?
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
liked by alexalbon, georgerussell63 and 204,300 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: VIVA LAS VEGAS
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user3: this is fucking hilarious
user4: her whole ass brother won the actual race and there's not a peep of him on the post
user5: i mean her boyfriend did win the championship...
yourusername: exactlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i mean my instagram is for pretty girls only
user6: do not erase george's beauty
yourusername: nothing to erase girlypop - FUGLY!
user7: the way the guys are in the media pen and can't see that y/n is coming for their necks in instagram comments
user8: i fear she's already started drinking...
user9: in the back of the sky broadcast she hands max a drink and i'm starting to suspect that it was not water or red bull
user10: LMAO HELMUT TOOK A SIP AND LIKE NEARLY FELL OVER
yourusername: i've never claimed to be good at mixing drinks
maxverstappen1: WHERE WAS THE TONIC ???
yourusername: i don't believe in tonic 💔
maxverstappen1: YOU GAVE ME STRAIGHT GIN?
yourusername: straight 🤣
maxverstappen1: Y/N THAT'S ATTEMPTED MURDER ON HELMUT ???
yourusername: free me i did nothing wrong !!!
user11: these people kill me
user12: sign of a healthy relationship is making gay allegations about each other
yourusername: ALLEGATIONS ???
yourusername: george is lucky that he was the first russell carmen met ...
georgerussell63: RIGHT, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH
georgerussell63: thank you for the congratulations but STOP flirting with MY girlfriend
yourusername: congratulations??? for what?
georgerussell63: WINNING THE RACE?
yourusername: boring!
georgerussell63: you are so lucky we're family because you are a few cards short of a deck
yourusername: CARDS? that reminds me ... time to gamble!
maxverstappen1
liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 1,342,988 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: winning without the fastest car isn't for everyone
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user13: this caption has y/n russell written all over it
yukitsunoda0511: i sat here and watched them giggle to themselves for a good five minutes while posting this
user14: tell max to post more pictures like the second one
yukitsunoda0511: they are not safe for innocent eyes and they are not taken with a locked door :/
user15: why are you there ???
yukitsunoda0511: they're very generous when they're drunk !
user16: so real
yukitsunoda0511: it's also not just me :(
user17: just how many people are using the bar tab?
liamlawson30: me!
oscarpiastri: me!
charles_leclerc: me!
landonorris: me!
pierregasly: me!
alexalbon: me!
yourusername: broke bitches
carlossainz55: you do not have a job?
yourusername: gambling and being pretty is more of a job that what you will have next season 🤨
carlossainz55: has anyone ever told you you're a really mean drunk
yourusername: just george about a billion times, you get used to it (we just don't invite you out)
user18: she is just dragging anyone now
user19: hold on that is her boyfriend's work boyfriend's enemy
user20: girl is 90% of lestappen twitter's source and you think she's not gonna have a problem with sainz???
yourusername: you're so sexy i actually can't even function
maxverstappen1: gotta put the trophy in trophy husband somehow
yourusername: jokes aside i am super duper proud of you, this year has been insane and you've proven that you are the bestest eva
maxverstappen1: couldn't have done it without my fave cheerleader
yourusername: i'll wear the uniform and everything ....
schecoperez: STOP
georgerussell63: still no congratulations? i know you won the title or whatever but we're going to be brothers soon SHOW SOME RESPECT
yourusername: literally suck his dick
yourusername: wait no
yourusername: suck my dick
yourusername: WAIT NO
yourusername: choke ❤️
georgerussell63: i have no words at this point
maxverstappen1: so romantic hehehehe
yourusername
liked by alexalbon, kimiantonelli and 410,300 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: put it all on on red (bull)
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user22: ma'am why is there a cat?
user23: i think we already know the answer
user24: oh i know the answer i just wanna know the batshit explanation
georgerussell63: exsqueeze me ???
yourusername: don't speak like that about your nephew ??
georgerussell63: tell me you're not keeping it??
maxverstappen1: IT? HE JUST LEAPFROGGED YOU IN OUR WILL
georgerussell63: 1. you have a joint will ??? 2. why am i on it ??? 3. what is a cat doing with a monaco penthouse ???
maxverstappen1: i thought you could use the money ? i know toto ain't paying you what he promised me
yourusername: george your weird sugar daddy is more broke than you think sorry xx
georgerussell63: once again, what is stopping me taking the monaco house from a literal cat ?
yourusername: caesar will be very aware of his rights string bean - just because you talk in an uppity accent doesn't mean you actually know anything
georgerussell63: i cannot tell who corrupted who but i am sick of being your victim :(
user25: yes as fun as watching them dog george is i do want to know caesar's origin story
user26: i have a very bad feeling i know where he got his name
alexalbon: HE'S NOT NAMED AFTER THE CASINO IS HE?
yourusername: ding ding ding we have a winner, always knew you were the smarter half of galex
maxverstappen1: your gambling is getting out of hand
yourusername: did i or did i not win us a cat ?
maxverstappen1: AND £250,000 ???
yourusername: didn't want to promote gambling too much
yourusername: KIDS DO NOT GAMBLE IT IS DUMB
yourusername: look at me i literally have a child now ???
user27: we have lost the original plot of the movie
user28: you must be new, we stopped trying to make sense of these two years ago
lewishamilton: i can assure you it does not get any easier when you know them personally
yourusername: we aim to be sexy and mysterious
lewishamilton: that's strange because you guys dance like little boys and overshare at any given opportunity
maxverstappen1: guilty !
georgerussell63
liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 873,409 others
tagged: lewishamilton, yourusername & maxverstappen1
georgerussell63: i won the las vegas grand prix and all i got was this lousy cat
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user29: i am sensing a y/n and max meltdown incoming
user30: maybe they're too hungover to argue?
yourusername: NEVER
maxverstappen1: LOUSY CAT? FIRST OF ALL HE'S NOT YOURS SO KEEP HIS NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND ALSO I WILL KILL YOU WITH A GUN
georgerussell63: excuse me?
yourusername: do NOT threaten my boyfriend !!!!!!!!
georgerussell63: do you have selective sight or something?
yourusername: no i just like him more than i like you
georgerussell63: you only met him because of me?
maxverstappen1: i have faith we would've found each other regardless we have a SOUL TIE
yourusername: EXACTLY
georgerussell63: i give up.
yourusername: this is exactly why you don't have a championship ... no drive (pun intended)
georgerussell63: NOW THAT'S IT
maxverstappen1: are you threatening my girlfriend?
georgerussell63: OMG LEAVE ME ALONE
user31: their commitment to never letting george have a day of peace is really quite charming
user32: they're going to give him grey hairs before he even turns 27
alexalbon: i gotta say georgie, i'm not with you on this one - caesar is THE dude
georgerussell63: are all my eggs falling out of the basket at once?
maxverstappen1: that's called karma for calling caesar 'it' and a lousy cat
georgerussell63: i can't lie i am missing your honeymoon phase you guys were a lot nicer
yourusername: we never left the honeymoon phase we just like annoying all of you
maxverstappen1: makes you people leave us alone :3
landonorris: you don't have to be mean to do that
yourusername: YOU JUST GOT OFF OF THIN ICE NORRIS WATCH YOUR STEP
user33: they can make excuses all these want but they just like annoying everyone else
user34: i mean based on their vegas shenanigans i think they would be super fun to be around
yourusername: oscar literally came to stay while he 'looked for a flat' in monaco and hasn't left... it's been three months. face it we're a HOOT
oscarpiastri: they are fun! the secret is to not be annoying sorry george!
maxverstappen1: they grow up so fast :')
maxverstappen1
liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 984,036 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: took a gamble when i went for the lanky posh dude's sister and i can now say it was definitely worth it
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user37: bro says snug as a bug in a rug once and now he's labelled as posh HE'S FROM NORFOLK
user38: it's also the way that y/n never gets the posh allegations
georgerussell63: it's because she's scruffy as fuck x
maxverstappen1: literally outside your house with a knife, keep talking
georgerussell63: i'm a grown man, max, you don't scare me
maxverstappen1: so i'm free to do a little gardening while you hide inside?
georgerussell63: you wouldn't...
yourusername: GO FOR THE PEONIES MAX
georgerussell63: NOT THE PEONIES I BEG HAVE MERCY
user39: so i'm supposed to read all of this shit and take them seriously when they get in the car
user40: it's part of the charm i think
user41: it's all fun and games until you remember they are full grown adults who can vote who are arguing over flowers
yourusername: i'd go through the strenuous task of growing up with george thousands more times just to be with you
maxverstappen1: i've been in love with you since i was 14, there has never been anyone else for me and there will never be anyone else for me
yourusername: ugh why didn't we just get married in vegas ?
maxverstappen1: because even though i did just harm his flowers, i do want to marry you in front of our families
yourusername: i guess you're right
georgerussell63: you know what? based on how you usually talk to me... i'm touched
yourusername: if i'm feeling generous i'll even let you do the seating chart
georgerussell63: I LOVE YOU BEST SISTER EVER
user42: only a declaration of love between max and y/n could end with george proclaiming his love for charts
user43: how does one procure an invite to this wedding ...
yourusername: be cunty
yourusername: @zakbrownceo YOU'RE BARRED
yourusername
liked by landonorris, alexalbon and 409,300 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: i'm the sibling who can't drive and yet i'm the one with four championship trophies in their house... george, step your pussy up x
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user44: omg queen who can't drive, she's such representation
yourusername: george says i'm so mean all the time but really i'm generous, i clearly gave him all the driving genes
user45: have you even tried driving?
yourusername: i went on max's sim once and got motion sickness and i'm also with the best driver in the world and siblings with an okay one - i'm surviving
alexalbon: he's already texted me about your language on this post
yourusername: just because he's a boomer in a string bean's body does not mean i must censor myself - he should know what stepping his pussy up means by now
georgerussell63: i will not be stepping on any pussy, i respect both felines and women
maxverstappen1: you called caesar 'it' so PLEASE
georgerussell63: i respect women?
maxverstappen1: you called y/n scruffy?
georgerussell63: that's y/n it doesn't count
maxverstappen1: that's not very feminist of you george. i am disappointed
yourusername: i agree, i really think the GDPA should reconsider the type of person they're letting run it
georgerussell63: huh?
yourusername: not once have i been invited to a grid meal ....
georgerussell63: well you're not on the grid that's why
yourusername: FEMALE EXCLUSION
maxverstappen1: you know we have attachment issues, you're so heartless george
georgerussell63: what is going on ???
yourusername: you CLEARLY don't care about me
maxverstappen1: and you CLEARLY don't care about the wellbeing of the grid
georgerussell63: I'M SORRY???
user46: george is unbelievably easy to rattle
user47: it must be so fun
yourusername: oh believe me, we have way too much fun
maxverstappen1: we once convinced him that it was a social faux pas to shake hands in japan lol
georgerussell63: IS THAT WHY MERCEDES WERE TOLD THAT EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS REALLY RUDE ???
yourusername: LMAOOOOOOOO
maxverstappen1: so so so easy bro
user48: i guess a couple that plays mind tricks together, stay together?
yourusername: 4eva
maxverstappen1: til death do us part
yourusername: quite literally you're not leaving me alone with GEORGE
georgerussell63: you know what: DIE
yourusername: GASP
maxverstappen1: @fia get his ass
fin.
note: HAPPY MAX VERSTAPPEN CHAMPIONSHIP DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE. IE. ME LOL
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen social media au#max verstappen
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Fan Favorite (FC43)
summary: franco and y/n are everyone's favorite couple in the paddock. they serve, fans eat it up - simple as that.
franco colapinto x driver!reader
based on two different requests I got
cw: google translated spanish, lando and y/n are friends but they're hating on each other, franco is a simp, smidge of williams slander
fc: emily carey
liked by yourusername, williamsracing, oscarpiastri and 250,674 more
francolapinto: te amo mucho, mi corazon
tagged: yourusername
comments:
yourusername: te amo <3
user3442: oh to be franco colapinto
user332: franco can you fight?
landonorris: that last photo was a bit tmi
yourusername: no one made you look norizz landonorris: you're so mean
ynupdates: when I'm in a who's a bigger y/n fan competition but my opponent is franco
francolapinto: my beautiful girl
user33: dude this is your own post
user201: oh to be loved the way franco loves y/n
liked by francolapinto, williamsracing, landonorris and 1.547.365 more
yourusername: it's race weekend baby!
tagged: francolapinto, williamsracing
comments:
williamsracing: our favorite driver is back in the garadge
francolapinto: mi hermosa novia
francolapinto: mygirlmygirlmygirl
user323: another day of franco being in the likes before me
user22: franco's in the likes before the photos are even posted atp
landonorris: can't wait to outscore you again
yourusername: dude I'm driving a williams?! yourusername: admin don't look
ynnation: prettiest driver
ynupdates: franco looking at y/n is all of us
comments:
user221: no because that caption is so real
ynsbettercar: they're so obsessed with each other it's not even fair
f1fanat1c: find someone who looks at you the way franco looks at y/n
user553: so real, because if he's not like this then I don't want him
mclursa: praying for a relationship like theirs
th3ssf: they are the standard
livelughsformula: no because this is how franco looks at y/n 😍
user44: I too would look at my girlfriend like that if she was y/n l/n
f1wagupdates: y/n and franco spotted out having breakfast
comments:
oneonef: love how f1 wags posted this
user443: franco is y/n's wag first, williams driver second
ynupdates: fav couple
user090: they're so cute together
usrrs: having a relationship like theirs is not a want it's a need atp
usef1: mama and papa
user442: same, except I'm older than them
userrr: franco and y/n are why I believe in love
liked by landonorris, francolapinto, oscarpiastri and 998.546 more
yourusername: national boyfriend day post
tagged: francolapinto
comments:
francolapinto: ai corazon, you said you wouldn't post these
yourusername: I lied
username43: franco looks so cute with those glasses
use221: why is he looking at me like that
landonorris: the 3rd picture is unsettling me
yourusername: scroll away bitch landonorris: *gasp*
francolapinto: te amo te amo te amo
yourusername: <3
carmenmmundt: I came here for a pretty girl instead I got a Franco post
yourusername: you can come over instead ;) francolapinto: on a post appreciating me? yourusername: shh fran, I'm shooting my shot
userrrsa: googling how to become franco colapinto, brb
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, yourusername and 896.554 more
francolapinto: girlfriend appreciation post
tagged: yourusername
comments:
yourusername: you said the first picture would never see light of day
francolapinto: not nice being lied to is it?
user443: y/n's slaying no matter what
userrr2: mother is mothering
user445: franco can you fight?
francolapinto: 👍👍
yourusername: idk if I feel appreciated enough
francolapinto: wait until I get back home and I'll appreciate you some more user003: do you need a third?
user332: y/n l/n the most beautiful woman
thsfd3: get mother something better than a williams pls
user992: if they break up I'll kill myself, no cap
userrrw: real
#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1#f1 smau#franco colapinto x you#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto#franco colapinto fic#fc43 x reader#fc43 x you#fc43 imagine
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As you demand. Hello this is boobs inspector and after closely inspecting an ENORMOUS amount of art related to your GREAT persona I with IMMENSE confidence can congratulate you on successfuly passing the inspection.
Wait, I'm getting some glances from PR department.. what? Questions? I must ask a question?
Uhh uhhmmm
Oh! What's the name of that idle game you playing lately? Sorry I'm always distracted and can't remember it
PASSED?? YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS DEAR BOY? WE'RE IN THE CLEAR!
we interrupt this can can for a SPECIAL news bulletin:
be on the look out for an anon who's been passing themselves off as a boobs inspector in order to obtain free boobs. that's all for now.
FREEE BOOOBS???
maybe we oughta tell our anon about the phony impostor
YOU LOONY LOOFAH! THAT IS THE IMPOSTOR!
WE'VE BEEN DUPED!
duped!
BAMBOOZLED!
we've been smeckldorfed!
THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD AND I AGREE WITH YA!
LOOK AT THEM.
I BET THEY NEVER CHANGE THEIR UNDERPANTS
i bet they bite whale bubbles
I BET THEIR MOM BOUGHT EM THOSE GLASSES
IF THAT IMPOSTOR WANTS BOOB PICTURES, THEN BY NEPTUNE WE'LL GIVE EM ONE
YOU'RE DANCIN WITH THE CRAB MAN NOW. JOIN ME BOY OR YOU'RE FIRED!
it doesn't seem right...
but it feels so good
glitch effect. the gnarliest stuff in procreate
OH! HOLD ON. I GOT A JAR OF GOONING CAPTIONS IN ME OFFICE!
oops! i converted it into a webp!
WELL FISH IT OUT, AND I'LL CONVERT IT INTO AN AVIF!
i call it mouseboobsREAL.webp.avif
hereyouareanonenjoy
LISTEN! THEY SAW IT!
LOOK AT EM CHOKE!
ARRARARARARARAR
hahahahahahahahahahaha
LOOK AT EM SUFFER!
hahahahahahahahaha
we interrupt your laughter at other peoples' expense to bring you this NEWS FLASH
the fake boobs inspector has been caught. here is his picture:
if a boobs inspector comes to your ask box and they're not this guy, they're real.
phew! that's a relief, ay mr. krabs? i'm sure our anon will understand if we just explain the situation. then we can all have a good laugh about it!
I DON'T THINK THEY'LL BE LAUGHIN, BOY
why, sir?
BECAUSE THAT BOOBS PICTURE KILLED THEM!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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what kind of nudes they would send you? 👉🏻👈🏻
WARNINGS: smut, mentions of penis anatomy, male body anatomy.
seungcheol: one hand wrapped around the base of his cock, holding it up right so you can see the huge length. phone propped low to catch his abs, chest, and a big delicious smile.
jeonghan: lying down, hand lazily holding his half-hard cock against his stomach, shadows doing all the work. “this good enough for you, babe?”
joshua: sheets slightly covering his cock, one hand slipping underneath like he’s just teasing himself. bonus: his pouty lips in the shot like he’s waiting for your permission to touch.
junhui: standing in front of a mirror, completely naked, flexing a little, with his dick hanging low. he’d throw in a wink too.
hoshi: a pic of his cock leaking, hand gripping it tight, his thigh muscles flexed as he props one leg up on the puff. there’s a tiger plush in the corner. it kills you, but somehow it works.
wonwoo: it’s a mirror pic in his bathroom, dick out, one hand languidly holding it, while he flexes his abs, and the veins of his hand. no caption, no emojis—just the picture. he knows it’ll have you spiraling.
woozi: accidental thirst trap. he sends you a random post-shower pic, towel slung low on his hips, wet hair clinging to his forehead, and his hard cock half-hidden. “oh, oops, didn’t mean to send that.”
minghao: taken from the side, showing off his hips, his cock semi-hard against his thigh, with some dramatic lighting in the background. the veins of his arm, and lower belly POPPING.
mingyu: another mirror whore. he’s taking the pic in his bedroom mirror, one hand stroking himself, abs and v-line shinng and you don't know if it's sweat, oil, or mosturizer. the smirk he gives is almost as cocky as his stupidly hard dick.
seokmin: the shy teaser. he sends you a pic of just the tip of his cock, all red and leaking, his hand covering the rest but barely in the frame. “is this… okay?” like, yes, it’s okay, now send the whole damn thing.
seungkwan: never thought he would send a nude, firstly. so it's aa tight shot of just his cock, leaking and red at the tip, his hand hovering like he’s debating whether to jerk off or not. “you’re making me like this, you know that?” he’s nervous, but he’s loving how wild it’ll make you.
vernon: lounging on the couch, sweatpants pushed low enough to expose his cock resting against his abs, hand casually draped over it. “so… you up?” he acts like it’s no big deal, but he’s grinning like crazy after hitting send, creating a scenario in his mind where you look at the pic while touching yourself.
chan: a full-body selfie of him sitting on the edge of the bed, cock hard and curved up against his stomach, face flushed and biting his lip. “thinking about you, noona. can I come over?”
#seventeen reactions#seventeen imagines#seventeen headcanons#seventeen scenarios#seventeen#svt imagines#seventeen smut#seventeen x reader#svt smut#seungcheol smut#jeonghan smut#joshua smut#junhui smut#hoshi smut#wonwoo smut#woozi smut#minghao smut#mingyu smut#seokmin smut#seungkwan smut#vernon smut#chan smut
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𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐫, 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩 | 𝐦𝐯. 𝟏
summary: an unplanned hard launch reveals more than a relationship. it exposes the biggest simp of the century.
content warning: requested by @animeandf1lover. fluff. crack adjacent (in the beginning). profanity. bestfriend!logan sargeant. boyfriend!max verstappen. humor. max yap-stappen. jimmy and sassy verstappen. my personal hc of max using cat emojis unironically. no part two requests, please!
pairing: max verstappen x hijabi fem!poc!reader (fc: shahdbatal)
genre: smau.
from, serene: other titles i thought of; simp, i love my gf, down bad, lord of the simps, or president of the simp club. haven't written for max alone in a while, i missed him !!! pls ignore the typos on the interview clips otherwise i will cry. enjoy, lovely’s xxx
⌕ join taglist | feedback & requests | upcoming chapters | table of contents ↻
instagram • jimmyandsassy 🔒 • monte carlo ⚑
liked by yninsta, maxverstappen1, logansargeant, and 123 others
jimmyandsassy love life
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maxverstappen1: how are you going to caption this "love life" when there's not a single photo of me in it 😕
➥ maxverstappen1: you called me the love of your life this morning on ft 😔 ➥ maxverstappen1: omg are you breaking up with me and taking the cats with you 😭😭😭 ➥ yninsta: max the cats chose the caption not me!!! ➥ yninsta: you're still the loml baby, i'm not going anywhere 😚💙 ➥ danielricciardo: u guys are perfectly made for each other :)
maxverstappen1: my babies 😻 why did you put mommy on the last slide? she's too pretty to be there!
➥ jimmyandsassy: m prettier than mommy - sassy ➥ maxverstappen1: hey! you get your looks from your mother be nice 😠 ➥ charlesleclerc: max mate 😟 with every comment you make on this account i hope you know i think less of you with each one 🙏🏻 ➥ alexandrasaintmleux: he's only saying this because i told him it would be cute to make a priv acct with leo that's like this! ➥ yninsta: you should! the kitties love it :) ➥ charlesleclerc: you're all mentally disturbed. electric chair⚡️🪑
logansargeant: i have post notifications on and i have no clue how max gets here faster than me.
➥ logansargeant: jimmy? sassy? do you tell him when you're about to post 🧐 ➥ maxverstappen1: logan the cats can't speak english or use a phone be serious. ➥ logansargeant: THEY DON'T HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS EITHER BUT THEY STILL POST AND REPLY TO COMMENTS ➥ jimmyandsassy: don't yell at daddy! 's mean - jimmy ➥ maxverstappen1: yeah logan don't yell at daddy 😌 ➥ logansargeant: can't believe there was a time i thought you were a respectable man smh
roscoelovecoco: cool cats 🐈
➥ jimmyandsassy: big dawg 🐶
landonorris: they're so pretty i just wanna pet them
➥ landonorris: i wished cats liked me,,, ➥ jimmyandsassy: nobody likes you! hope this helps - sassy ➥ landonorris: STOP HIDING BEHIND YOUR CATS AND COME FIGHT ME SIS 🤬🤺
alexalbon: please don't kill me :)
➥ jimmyandsassy: why would we kill you? we like alex - jimmy ➥ oscarpiastri: oh they're so going to claw your eyes out mate 😂 ➥ georgerussell63: it's been nice knowing you alex 🙂 ➥ charlesleclerc: fly high alexander 🕊️🙏🏻 ➥ schecoperez: gone too soon 🙂↔️ ➥ jensonbutton: if she kills you, logan will have a car to race this weekend. she's so going to get rid of you 😈 ➥ yninsta: what. logan has his own williams? are u guys okay???
twitter • yn's spam twt
igstory • yninsta uploaded to close friends story!
[caption1; guess i'm bringing jimmy with me][caption2; target confirmed. bravo six going dark.]
logansargeant: please don't make my team principal disappear ⤷yninsta: i will make him suffer inshallah 🙏🏽 ⤷logansargeant: think about jimmy and sassy! they'll miss you 😢 ⤷yninsta: ,,,i will subject him to a painful lecture about his mishandling of the race weekend ⤷yninsta: instead of death 🙃
alexalbon: are we chill? ⤷yninsta: i have no quarrel with you 👍🏽 ⤷alexalbon: oh thank god. i was going crazy in my room hiding from you 😮💨
maxverstappen1: come to me when you're done with james 😽 ⤷maxverstappen1: you're surrounded by the wrong shade of blue :( ⤷maxverstappen1: how's logan doing? ⤷yninsta: he's okay considering they gave his car away. ⤷maxverstappen1: bring him with you, i will tell him exactly what i think about wiliams treating him that way
f1 twitter
FIA press conference: pre-race australia • max, charles, logan, zhou, yuki
post-race interview clips • max verstappen
twitter • the internet reacts
instagram • logansargeant • melbourne ⚑
liked by oscarpiastri, yninsta, redbullracing and 546,789 others
logansargeant me and you, and you and me, just us, and your boyfriend max.
tagged: yninsta, maxverstappen1, betterhelp
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maxverstappen1: you have me saved as “yn’s boyfriend - INGORE 🛑❌🙈”
➥ maxverstappen1: that’s not very nice ☹️ ➥ yninsta: logan! change it before you make him sad ➥ logansargeant: fine 🙄 ➥ logansargeant: i’m going to mute him instead.
➥ yninsta: logan and max get along great guys i promise!
➥ yninsta: max asked him if he was okay with asking me out before our first date and logan said “mate you don’t have to ask, i know you’ll treat her right” 😇 ➥ logansargeant: that is NOT public info‼️ delete pls ➥ maxverstappen1: you didn’t have to say any of this schatje 😅 ➥ user1: max asked logan for permission to date her? what in the wattpad fanfic is happening rn ➥ georgerussell63: this is great blackmail- i mean info 😉
oscarpiastri: acting like you hate max but you called me screaming in joy about playing padel with him 💀
➥ logansargeant: oscar please. my reputation is at stake here 😀 ➥ oscarpiastri: hey instagram comments- i misspoke. logan sargeant HATES max verstappen! that’s all, thanks. ➥ user2: dis guy 🤦🏻♀️ ➥ user3: osc sarcasm check: ✅
user4: if max verstappen offered to fly me out to hang out with his gf i would not leave his messages on read ijs 🤷🏼
alexalbon: DAMN he even said please 😶
➥ yninsta: not too much now alex 🤫 ➥ alexalbon: 🤐😳 ➥ user5: alex were u silent or sileNCED ➥ user6: i could feel the threat through the screen
jensonbutton: but did you take him up on his offer? that’s what we need to know!
➥ maxverstappen1: he did. left me on read for 6 minutes before he broke 😹 ➥ logansargeant: it was on his private jet, paid for, and i got to see my best friend- ofc i said yes! i’m not stupid.
user7: tagging betterhelp on the sc of max’s desperate ass texts is NASTY work logan 💀💀💀
➥ user8: nothing wrong with sending the homies links to therapy sites ➥ user9: there’s definitely something wrong with how down bad max is for his girl. i know that much 🥴 ➥ user10: are u srs? bc that’s a man who doesn’t play about his woman! i can tell 😵💫🫦
instagram • maxverstappen1
liked by yninsta, redbullracing, danielricciardo and 2,126,989 others
maxverstappen1 championships are worth winning because i take the trophies back to her.
tagged: yninsta
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yninsta: championships are worth winning because YOU drove like crazy for them.
➥ maxverstappen1: two things can be true at the same time 💙 ➥ maxverstappen1: i don’t know if they would matter as much if i didn’t have anyone to praise me for it. ➥ yninsta: i’ll convince you that they are more than that one day 💙🔒 (good thing i’m never leaving you x)
yninsta: حب حياتي (the love of my life)
➥ maxverstappen1: no you are mine ☺️🤭
user11: no the fuck he didn’t.
➥ user12: GIRL HE FUCKING DID
user13: nahhhh he got it. he got it all.
➥ user13: championships, monaco living, the finest woman, expensive cats and cars—LIKE LEAVE SOMETHING FOR THE COMMON FOLK MAX ➥ maxverstappen1: my bad 🙂↕️ ➥ user14: he don’t even mean ts ➥ user15: oh i’m bout to crash out 🤪🤬👹
charlesleclerc: okay. that’s a good caption 🙂
➥ maxverstappen1: take a deep breath charlie, no need to be angy about it :) ➥ charlesleclerc: i knew you’d ruin it. i’ll be seeing you max 🤫 ➥ user16: yo what tf 🤣 ➥ user17: did charles leclerc just ominously imply his plot for max’s demise?! ➥ user18: bro what 😒 @/user17 ➥ user19: what are you gonna say next? “they’re going to participate in a duel of arms 🤓” ➥ user16: “a battle of fisticuffs, more likely it seems 🤓🤓🤓”
user20: oh my days— she’s beautiful 😦
➥ maxverstappen1: she’s the prettiest woman i’ve ever set my eyes on 😊 ➥ user21: don’t worry max, we believe you! ➥ user22: you truly are blessed to be dating her.
danielricciardo: boys what are you’re wagers? max yaps more/less about his gf to us now that they’re public?
➥ landonorris: more +£500 ➥ lewishamilton: more +£1000 ➥ logansargeant: more +(i’ll match lewis in american) ➥ schecoperez: have faith in max! ➥ schecoperez: +5 grand take it or leave it.
user23: she’s majestic! in that first photo, she’s giving padme from star wars 🤩 beautiful!!!!
➥ yninsta: tysm ☺️ this might be the best compliment i’ve ever received !!!
instagram • ynspamacct
liked by maxverstappen, lilymhe, charlesleclerc and 893,430 others
ynspamacct i won't unprivate my main, but here's the bf max content i know you all want :)
tagged: maxverstappen1
view comments
user24: max said: princess treatment only 👏🏻
➥ maxverstappen1: ***queen treatment 👸🏽 ➥ user25: oh. the simp allegations are true. ➥ maxverstappen1: you doubted how much i love my gf? crazy. ➥ user25: i won't do it again, i promise.
logansargeant: why do you wear heels if you know they’re going to make your feet hurt?
➥ maxverstappen1: bc she’s knows i’m going to hold them for her and carry her home 😌 ➥ ynspamacct: bc i feel tall 🥺 and max doesn’t mind carrying me home !!! ➥ ynspamacct: oops ☺️ we must’ve replied at the same time hahaaa user26: i’m going to slam my head into the nearest wall, viciously. ➥ ynspamacct: don’t do that! life is worth living i promise 😰
user26: first photo made my tummy flip for some reason 🫦🥴🤤
➥ ynspamacct: you should see a doctor! that doesn’t sound healthy :) ➥ user27: u better stop thirsting over her man like that 😳
lilymhe: boundaries 🧘🏻♀️💆🏻♀️
ynspamacct: exactly 😌
user27: breakfast in bed…what did he want from you 🤔
➥ ynspamacct: …nothing? or, just quality time i guess! he’s sweet like that 🥰 user27: ,,,i didn’t know that was an option. ➥ ynspamacct: being treated like a queen comes with accepting that’s how you deserve to be treated, and that it’s the *only* way you’re going to be treated 😚 ➥ user28: SPEAK ON IT MY GOOD SIS 😫
user29: this relationship is dear to me 😪
user30: m-men aren’t shit? who knew that was possible.
➥ user31: i thought all we had was tom holland 💀 ➥ maxverstappen1: i’m honored to be added to the roster ➥ user32: i cannot take this man seriously now. ➥ user33: why bc he loves his gf and you can’t even seem to find the way to a shower or a therapy session 😀 ➥ user34: WOAH VIOLATION
yninsta: max, maxie-max, maxie !!!
➥ maxverstappen1: i love you most, schatje 💛🔒 ➥ yninsta: aw you beat me to it 😞 ➥ yninsta: i love you foreverrrr #1 💙🔒 ➥ user35: oh i’m gonna cry :)
© httpsserene 2024 - most photos from pinterest and edited by me. fc is shahdbatal.
#f1 x reader#f1 smau#max verstappen x reader#f1 x poc!reader#max verstappen x poc!reader#logan sargeant x reader#logan sargeant fluff#max verstappen smau#max verstappen fic#max verstappen x yn#f1 x female reader#platonic! logan sargeant x reader#f1 fic#⋆⭒˚。⋆. series special: formula 1#serene’s chapters.#serene’s fave.#♡ ༘*.゚ love interest: mv.
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Scandal! pt2┃CL16-MV1
part 2!!! is all yours, thank u sm for the love and support for this work
instagram
ynln has posted a story!
seen by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 3,593,639 others
caption: Day at the beach with my favourite people
charles_leclerc has respond to your story!
can we talk? send 1 hour ago
maxverstappen1
Liked by victoriaverstappen, ynln and others
maxverstappen1 fun day
username yn and him being on the beach....on the same day..
username ugh stfu they're not dating
username max with his sister and mom 🥺
username so cute!
f1_gossip
Liked by 592,285 others
f1_gossip This afternoon Y/N uploaded a story to her Instagram account in which only she appeared on the beach, but her mother uploaded a video to her stories this afternoon where you could see Y/N, Max and Y/N's little sister, relaxing in the water. But Max uploaded a post where his family was seen right there, letting us understand that both families went out for a little getaway! Could it be that both drivers are in some type of relationship? What do you think?
username let them enjoy in peace!!
username omg they're so cute
username wait what?! omg
twitter
instagram
f1
Liked by 863,672 others
f1 Our favourite paddock couples in today's race!
username well, charles is jumping of joy
username leclerc's a little happy there isn’t he
username all couples happy and together and then there's charles and aurora walking one meter away from each other
redbullracing
Liked by 749,193 others
redbullracing Imo 👉LAAAAAAAA 🎶 yn and max have arrived!
username yn and lewis=best dressed of the grid
username someone looks happy after spending a whole day on the beach 👀
cha_yn
Liked by 829,573 others
cha_yn the fact that I thought these two were gonna get married kills me
username does anyone know why they broke up?
username They never clarified anything but it was all very sudden tbh, but some say that there were rumors of infidelity on his part.
username wait, I thought it was bc things weren't working out but they never stopped loving each other, but I really don't know why just a month later he was seen with Aurora
username I smell a PR relationship from the ferrari team
username holy shit I never thought about that! It really doesn't seem like Charles is happy to be around his ''girlfriend''....
username I'm a child of a divorce
username I will never forget when Y/N won a race and Charles ran out of his car to go congratulate her and it was the first time we saw them kiss in public.
f1
Liked by 1,384,694 others
f1 Red Flag 🚩
Charles Leclerc crashes into Max Verstappen on lap 15 ending the race for both drivers
username 💀💀
username It was clearly seen how leclerc threw the car at max
username THE BEEF BETWEEN THESE TWO TF
f1_gossip
Liked by 946,284 others
f1_gossip OH MY GOD! After the accident between the Ferrari and the Red Bull, a completely angry Max went to look for Leclerc and fans captured the moment when Max started pushing and yelling at Charles. Was all this simply because of the race or something else?
The FIA is still investigating the accident but in the meantime, who do you think was at fault?
username charles for sure
username idk man but I think verstappen
username LECLERC IT WAS SO OBVIOUS
username Max always ruins a driver's race, it's nothing new tbh
username Call me crazy but could it be that Charles was angry to see that Max and Yn were together on the beach yesterday? Now I'm gonna shut up
username WAIT
f1
Liked by maxverstappen1 and 1,355,124 others
f1 YN LN WINS THE GRAND PRIX!! THIS IS HER FIFTH CONSECUTIVE VICTORY AND THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY THAT A FEMALE DRIVER ACHIEVED THIS
username She shut up all those men who said she was going to last two races at most.
username I love women being successful
maxverstappen1 👏👏
ynupdates
Liked by ynln and 284,483 others
ynupdates Max congratulating yn for her win today!! They're so cute
username the fact she liked the post 🥺🫶🏻
username he's so green flag
username He didn't walk, he ran to congratulate her
twitter
instagram
f1_gossip
Liked by 947,538 others
f1_gossip oh, my. It's official, charles and aurora both unfollowed each other, please let's make a toast
charles_leclerc has posted a story!
seen by maxverstappen1, ynln, and 5,483,694 others
Messages
ynln
Liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 1,895,548 others
ynln yeah my bf's pretty cool but he's not as cool as me
jk he's cool asf, he’s a 3 times wc 🤭
maxverstappen1 hell yes I am
maxverstappen1 I love u my love😍
username I FUCKING KNEW IT
username damn that's a hot ass couple I see
username MAX CAN YOU FIGHT!??!!?
maxverstappen1 yes I can, and I already have for that woman
username: oh yeah right, with leclerc, I forgot, my bad💀
comments have been limited for this post
okey so I did my best, I'm sorry if u don't like it :( but! I'm happy if u did. As you voted Max was the endgame for this so yeah!
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