#don't have the screenshot since the blog got deleted obviously

[merryfae]

Coming out of the woodwork for this one. I might regret it since I'm a lurker by nature, but you seem like someone who is genuinely willing to listen.

I've been a long time follower of Lily stuff, all the way back to her early brony days. I agreed with a lot of her takes on the brony community back in the day. Watching her newest video, I found myself thinking "damn, this would be pretty convincing if I didn't know all the details." (Un)lucky for me, I do know quite a few details.

(This is giant so check out what I wrote under the cut)

The main thing to note is that any singular accusation made against Lily won't be all too terribly convincing, nor will the provable things she's done on a smaller scale seem terrible enough to warrant the hate she gets. What makes any of the claims against her noteworthy is that there are patterns. For instance, Courtney coming out and saying "My sister assaulted me when we were children" would not, in itself, be convincing if you're after hard line proof. However, Courtney saying this with the context that said sister has written incestuous/pedophilic MLP fanfiction (Stockholm) and joked about the woes of having a hot sister...well, that is far, far more noteworthy. It establishes 1. that there is a pattern of Lily engaging in behaviors that align with Courtney's story, and 2. that, years after the fact, Lily continued to exhibit these behaviors.

pictured: meme Lily uploaded to her old Facebook. Check out the lily orchard gossip blog for drive folders full of her old stuff - just be aware that there's a lot of deadnaming in the drive.

This is why her refusal to talk about things like Stockholm in her response video is a bit telling; her reasoning that she doesn't want to belittle a discussion of real, serious allegations doesn't hold as much water when these pieces of media reflect the context in which these allegations against her are being made. It's especially noteworthy because, according to Courtney's accounts, he wasn't planning on going public with anything against Lily until he found out about Stockholm (hence the message of support she initially sent out to Lily). There's a reason people harp on her weird media tastes is what I'm saying. Like her interest in the modded baldur's gate incest story. (I was going to put a screenshot of the tumblr post here but alas, I can only find the sai clip.)

The story of Lily is basically a story of small things that come together to create a bigger picture.

Lizzy and Patchwork's stories align directly, and all accounts of Lily from former friends/partners (like Blake) indicate that it is difficult to talk to open up to her without her blowing up on them, lending more credence to the narrative that Lily coerced Lizzy and Patch to create NSFW that they were uncomfortable with. (If you haven't read up on this situation or watched the Patchwork Heart video about this, I don't blame you. Lily barely mentioned it in her video. That said, I do recommend you look up Patchwork Heart's video on the subject at least.)

When all of the stories about Lily and the things Lily has provably done are put together, it becomes more difficult to ignore the allegations. It becomes a question: Do these patterns mean anything? Would all of these people collectively decide to throw Lily under the bus for fun? Out of spite? Or is there something here?

A lot of emphasis is placed on the actions of Tara Callie, a character that Brittany and others argue is a sock puppet of Lily's. Many arguments about Lily hinge on the existence (or nonexistence) of Tara. If we believe the story that Tara is a sock puppet (as the shared IP address + refusal to come on camera or voice chat or show any proof of her existence seems to suggest) and we subsequently believe that the person Brittany was messaging was Tara, then messages like this are...well, yikesy. They are directly pressuring Britt into interacting with Lily sexually.

And I do believe these are real messages. If you check Tara's old Tumblr blog, we see identical writing styles and a similar blasé attitude toward sexual abuse. I'll admit, I can't remember why Tara's name isn't in the screenshots -- I think because the accounts are defunct, so names don't appear? Maybe Brittany can add onto that. But if you wanna check out Tara's tumblr, I will once again direct you to the lily orchard gossip blog. CW for deadnaming and SA in the following screenshots of Tara's Tumblr - and really this whole reply tbh.

(Also on Tara's blog, we see reference to someone who sounds quite a bit like Britt according to her accounts. Could be totally off the mark here, but the whole "get past their history of being a victim of abuse" thing sounds similar.)

(ALSO also, here's a screenshot of Tara describing Lily's mom as "overprotective of her sons" which, at the time, would have included Lily. I'm only including this because in my deep dive for this reply, I stumbled across this post, and it kind of explains away the whole "my parents would have kicked me out if Courtney had accused me of anything!" argument that Lily was making. Could be nothing - to be fair, I don't quite remember all the different accounts I've read about their parents. Maybe not the right post to put this on, but when else am I going to post on tumblr, eh?)

Anyway, given the similar writing styles/subjects in Tara's blog posts + seemingly direct references to Britt, the idea that these are real screenshots of Tara's messages becomes a bit easier to believe.

With this in mind, even if we assume that Tara was a real person and not just a sock puppet, how easy would it have been for Lily to go, "hey, Brittany, I saw your screenshots. Tara was shitty to you for trying to pressure you. That sucks. I didn't realize the circumstances under which you were messaging me those things. I'm not Tara, but I'm sorry that happened." Or idk, show proof of Tara's existence or something? A woman who was supposedly Lily's close friend and former girlfriend? Who supposedly was so close to her that they shared the same router/used each other's laptops to post online? Instead, Lily has apparently refused to look at the screenshots over all these years and even changed Tara's name in accounts of events (to Ashley, I believe?).

If we do believe that Tara was a sock puppet (which itself seems to be a pattern, though I won't go in too deep on that one), the content gets much, much worse. Even disregarding what was being done to Brittany here, we have everything from casual remarks about assaulting children and dogs to remarkably suspicious comments like this one:

(These particular interests are reflected in porn accounts that are allegedly Lily's. Once again, I won't go too in depth because I'm not as familiar with those particular arguments. Still, these messages align with Courtney's story and with the subjects we see in Stockholm.)

In all of these discussions, Lily has lied. Someone out there with more time and energy than me should collect the lies all in one place. Lord knows I'm not doing it. But her lies about Stockholm are especially off the rails; she's dismissed it as everything from a fanfic she wrote that angry bronies sabotaged to a fanfic that she's never heard of and that all the footage of her saying she wrote it is AI generated. With a track record for lying, it makes it harder to believe her when she comes out with her side of the story.

I'm not arguing that all the evidence against her is ironclad. It's not. The reason I believe what people are saying about her is simply because all the allegations combine with all the past behavior to paint a rather unfavorable picture of her. Former friends and partners allege the same things about her interpersonal behavior. Her fixation on incest and other paraphilias as reflected in the media she's made over the years (fanfiction, blog posts, art commissions, and memes) parallel Courtney's allegations. And while there's no direct proof that Brittany's screenshots are real, we can at least confirm that Tara was a figure that Lily interacted with frequently alongside Britt, and that Tara's writing style on Tumblr is rather similar to the style seen in Britt's messages.

There's been endless stuff gathered on all these Tumblr blogs -- others have way more info than I do. It's just exhausting to put together. If it turns out that all of these claims against Lily are false (or at least blown out of proportion), I'll come to her defense, certainly. But thus far, it seems far more likely that they're telling the truth. And if they're telling the truth -- well, it'd be a good idea to keep Lily from having a platform.

I don't know if I'll respond to any further replies to this because I'm allergic to interacting online. Seriously wild that I'm even writing this reblog. I was possessed today idk. But anyway, I hope this helps someone out there.

aight fuck it time to get canceled

i'm sure i'll regret this later but i'm feeling brave today

i've looked through all the lily orchard "proof" and honestly like. almost none of it holds up. the screenshots with no names or faces especially.

now i'm willing to have respectful discussions and look over some of the proof again, but what i've seen so far has not convinced me. oh, she's... a little rude sometimes? that's all i've really concluded.

i know there's no reasonable way courtney would have any sort of proof of what lily (allegedly) did. it is courtney's word vs. lily's. we literally have a he-said-she-said here.

and watching lily's video. honestly. i am more inclined to believe her, but that's cause i'm the "pics or it didn't happen" type of person. i need proof.

i'm gonna reiterate this cause i know you're all coming with your pitchforks now:

i know that there is no reasonable way for courtney to have proof.

i'm not gonna give anyone who just yells at me or insults me any attention. i want to have a respectful discussion. i want to know why the "proof" is... well, proof of anything. i want to hear your takes. i am open to having my mind changed. i want to know why you think the way you do, because looking at this logically... there's nothing here.

[99pansy]

ok so i was looking at that ex-mcr fan's blog for the ss/mayo lore and i just scrolled past this and im genuinely so confused where they got these claims from because i scoured the internet and couldnt find anything do you have any idea

oooof i've seen this post and i know about a couple of these. i can give you a little rundown from what I know

frank using the n-word

this one isn't true, but he did do something stupid. based on the comments from this post, he retweeted something that used the n-word in a casual way

when people called him out for it, he doubled down and defended use of the word. when someone continued to challenge him, he blocked them and called them an "annoying simpleton"

i do think this was obviously in poor taste, but 2009 was a different time and people did dumb shit like casually using the n-word and thinking they were more progressive for it

i don't believe current day frank would be stupid enough to do something like this. all of the evidence has since been deleted, so hopefully he learned something.

gerard disrespecting women on twitter

this one is sort of true? but the way it's phrased in the post is sensationalized. based on this post, a girl made a twitter account just to harass gerard.

i guess gerard replied to one of their messages with "I’d smash your face for six bucks and a Dr. Pepper #dieslow"

as the post i linked says, it's kinda dumb he took the bait. again, i don't think current day gerard would've gotten angry enough to do something like this

anyway someone came at him for saying this and let him know the girl was apparently only 16, to which he replied "actually…I wish I had the science to turn me into a 16 year old girl for 4 days. I’d really disgust you then #smashedface"

(no sc for this one but i remember it pretty well)

as the post i linked says, gerard was getting harassed a lot around this time with "baycest" and other weird shit on twitter. this was the peak era degenerate mcr fan behavior. i remember someone on here actually carving "baycest" into their leg and posting the photos. it was a weird time to be a fan and I'm sure it was hard for gerard as well

gender-based slurs on stage

i can't find any evidence about this. gerard did do some weird stuff on stage around this time but i can't find a record of him using gender-based slurs on stage. I'm not sure what they might be referring to

frank's abortion jokes

i specifically remember this one, so i can vouch that it's true. so frank was watching one of the transformers movies after it came out in theaters, and a woman with a crying baby was in the theater with him. so he tweeted something ""joking"" that she should have aborted her baby with a coat hanger. yikes?

the same post actually mentions this a little further down

i was also able to find a screenshot of it, but it has since been deleted. hopefully that indicates some growth on his end

ray saying women shouldn't be allowed at public toilets

he did tweet this, i don't know why lol. i think he's just being stupid? this one has to be the most innocuous

anyway... i'm obviously still a disgustingly huge fan of the band even after knowing this stuff. people can grow, change, and learn from their actions. people make mistakes. i personally would be fucked if someone was keeping a record of all of the stupid things I've said on the internet throughout my life! i still believe in them and hopefully anyone reading this can too.

[enniewritesathing]

discussion post #2 (i think?)

This may have been a small update but More Things happened and we gotta talk about it. (Or, I'm gonna talk about it.) More like a ramble, really.

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Speculation? Let's talk about it. 🤔

Behind the Scenes stuff:

first off, I wouldn't have the ability to even remotely do ANY of this part without @anothersimsstory's CC conversions and I'm glad I had the foresight of downloading it when I did. (they didn't delete their shit or anything but you know how it is sometimes) and the monitor by Theraven (I don't think they have a tumblr? they have a forum tho), and the EKG leads by @jellypawss. It really pays to make niche CC!!

I had to make swatches for the monitor since it is an important visual thing... but it was wholly contingent on me finding something that's close to actual vital signs and I looked everywhere but they were all stock images and obviously didn't work for what I needed. I then had to search high and low for for it, but I found it. For real!! I had to use TWO laptops (one for settings and the other for the actual monitor) and I screenshotted it, slapped it into paint to save it, make it a swatch, rinse/repeat for I think 15? idk how many

you may think, Ennie, that's a bit much, and I say, my attention to detail game is insane when it doesn't need to be but dammit, the visuals have to make sense from a glance. That and the offchance of someone who knows read the monitor would point something out about it. That said! I tried parcing out what EtCo2 is but all I got from it is was "high number bad".

seriously, I spent... a Stupid amount of time setting that up. 🅱️lease clap for me -- I can safely say that I don't think anyone else would go that far.

I told myself after finishing The Incident I was not gonna be doing 5/6 rigs all in one shot again. (🤡)

The lighting situation drove me up the damn wall and after a point, I just said fuck it. What I didn't anticipate was the stark contrast of John and The Werewolf talking and the memory in terms of setting. It's really cool, I think.

I fretted over this part the whole time because I didn't know what order I wanted and what I was going for, but I think I escalated it properly.

For The Werewolf's veins, I had to do the ol' S4S shuffle, but they are a combination of 3, maybe 4 and ofc had to make outfits for the progression, which is why he's still rocking the half-sleeve look (and from an age/timeline stand point makes him 21/22ish). You know what, let's look at them again!

it's a good look

Speaking of... I had to make a lot of The Werewolf solo poses and I found out that uh, it's all in the brows; they can completely change the meaning. It's bad enough with the angles and the general body language. (Or maybe not? Eh.)

Another visual thing -- The Big Scene... that one, I had going back and forth with it until I decided going all white for The Werewolf's eyes (or lack of pupils). It was far more striking and way scarier than the 'blank' eyes I tend to go with.

seriously, I contemplated on tagging it as a jump scare.

Oh! and the shaking of 3 pics, that was spur of the moment because I really kept going back into the post and something was just missing. I have a (cracked) PhotoMosh and I played with the setting a bit and bingo.

It is probably my favorite post so far. I had to settle with the fact that it's not gonna be the one to be spread around. Or any of it really.

Story Stuff:

There's so many crumbs in this! So. Many. There's even a loaf of bread or two. If you tell me what you're picking up on and you're on some kind of track, you get a cookie (🍪). (I'm serious, btw)

John's clearly shook. This may be the first time we've really seen him like this. And The Werewolf is nonchalant... (I will admit John looks very pretty when he's like this lol)

...or is he? I think there are more cracks in the dam than you'd think. A while back in a post that's somewhere on this blog, but John has a tendency to play with his hands when he's anxious.

Another thing that I just noticed is that they didn't really look at each other; I wonder what that's all about?

I've said it once and I'll say it again; even though they share the same body, John and The Werewolf look very different from one another, and I think that's neat.

Jordan being real about taking advantage of the fact that they're getting paid $$$ and they'd be dumb to not take up the offer.

I had to remember that Brian did not know John was a werewolf at this point in time, or even begin to really put 2+2 together. I call it a bit of genre blindness, helped by the fact that this didn't happen all the time. He just rolled with it. Also, wow he looks very young without his tats; ofc this was the college years and he was beginning to fill out/eating good.

Mark is the smartest dude in the whole story. He said, nope, nuh uh, I'm OUT. IYKYK.

There were so many pics I wanted to take of Daniel punching The Werewolf right in the solar plexus (or thereabouts it might've been slightly lower than that). As they say in the FGC, he failed to block that overhead.

I'm glad I decided to leave in the fact that The Werewolf couldn't see too well.

The Werewolf blew his vocal cords out screaming. He said that shit with his soul. Rarely do I go with the funky text with him since that's his "big scary werewolf" voice (that and he rarely speaks like that). My man said "I'll make you suffer my pain." Beautiful. Can't wait to see how that plays out.

That said, The Werewolf did work himself up to the point of nearly killing himself on accident. But as Charles predicted, his body hit the emergency button and shut that shit down.

I spent the most time worried about this part because it needed to get the point across without it being so... cheesy?

also, I have to say? The Werewolf is a Swearwolf. *rimshot*

The Fucking Around part has ended... The Finding Out part is really going to be fun to watch. (I mean, you can already do this if you haven't but now you have way more context.)

There's something about The Werewolf that's becoming apparent (to us). He's still holding back on his actual feelings. Not only that... he hasn't gotten to John himself and I think that's where it's really gonna go down. John knows this; he's not naive to think that he didn't have a role in all of this too. Something to think about.

Charles is a flat out Nasty Man (very derogatory) and yet, I kinda enjoy writing it.

I do love how he is formal with names, "dear ____" and referring to John's formal name Johnathan.

which I always forget this mfer is named Johnathan. Nobody calls him that.

[contentment-of-cats]

The narc is right on schedule.

Here we go again. Narcs love to spoil shit they can't control, and @cordeliaperry - formerly cyberwitch85 and who knows how many sockpuppets - pops up. She's got a hard-on for Merry Chissmas now, because if you've shit your pants in front of an entire fandom, what's one more fart in all the stink?

My first experience with her was when she threatened a friend with revenge porn. Another more comprehensive link here. It was not a rumor - it was something she did. She likes to delete her replies and edit her posts, so you have to document every interaction.

I did not dox her, though I do have the information from a post that she herself made. She's locked her archive and blocked me, but I do have screenshots and her showing her whole ass on other blogs. Receipts, baby.

The reason she’s accusing me of doxing is because she donated to my cancer fund and I offered the money back. Someone, not me, sent her the money. I also turned over the $100 she funded me to a cancer charity. She also does not know the meaning of the word 'doxxing' which is the public exposition of personal information such as name, address, and so forth. However, it is a hot-button word that gets attention - and since she's a textbook narc, that's what she feeds on.

Not a Boomer - it's an ageist dogwhistle from a person desperate to recruit her own army of flying monkeys. Gen X, represent.

She went full bunnyboiler on a writer formerly in the fandom, sending multiple hate anons - that were so obviously her. And there are so many, many, many of them.

She is alleged to have used her Discord server to spy on her 'friends' - one of the reasons I now avoid Discord servers.

Since she was not getting any traction attacking said author, she turned on one of the author's friends with a bloodthirsty campaign of harassment.

She bullied a Thrawn fan out of the fandom and from their blog. She might have done this to others that I don't know about, considering how many fans disappeared from the fandom when I was sick starting from February 2022 (diagnosis) to March/April of 2022 (recovery from last surgery).

She hates me because I've gotten very fucking tired of narcs torpedoing fandoms because they want to be a BNF. She bullied a lot of people, and people are scared to stand up to her. I don't give two farts in a tornado. I'll punch back on the bitch.

People are afraid of her - one reason that Merry Chissmas has an anon submission option. She allegedly gathered people's contact info to organize a fandom penpal activity, then also used an author's contact info to harass them. Nobody wanted to be next.

As she cycles through her narcissistic rage, she's staying on brand. Narcs love to ruin holidays and make it all about them. You can find out about the darker side of fandom here with history, tutorials on protecting yourself, resources, and other informative articles.

And finally, I offer a video of wisdom from Darren F. Magee - an excellent psychologist, fellow sci-fi nerd, and man on a mission.

If she can't control an event and if she can't be the center of attention, she'll do her level best to ruin it for everyone else. In the spirit of the holidays, I think I'm going to - a few times a week - post a screenshot of her clownery along with an appropriate Darren Magee video just to make the point.

Merry Chissmas, 🤡

[christine-ye]

Saw your post in the Wanpre tag, is there any user in particular you're talking about that makes posts shipping Owner x Pet? I haven't seen any of that on here and I follow basically all of the big blogs, unless you're talking about JP fans on Twitter then yeah it's definitely rampant over there lmao

It's okay to name and shame btw! People did it last season with people shipping baby Ellee and Tsubasa and it helped a lot to know whose doing gross things so me (and others) could block them.

Someone else on here mentioned @/gentleman-aster since they referred to Yuki and Mayu's arc as "a love story between a girl and her cat" while implying it to be romantic, which is basically the main reason why I made the OG post in the first place; they're not really a pr0sh1pper per se but I got bad vibes from them

Definitely being rather petty here when I also mention @/liacht not just because they're a pr0sh1pper (I don't want these people interacting with me, gross!) but they also made a (now deleted) reply to my OG post. While I can't remember every detail of what they said since I forgot to screenshot the reply before deleting it (sorry!) iirc they assumed I'm new to PreCure and therefore likely not aware of the problematic content in the franchise. First of all, I've been a fan for almost 4 years so obviously I would have at least some awareness of the franchise's problematic content. Second of all, just because I AM aware doesn't mean I have gotten desensitized towards it nor is it exempt from criticism

This post also applies to Twitter weirdos btw, I'm too tired to mention any specific names there but like with any other problematic/toxic ship definitely mute any ship-related tags and phrases if you can just to be safe

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Tumblr Superlatives Tag Game Part 2

Rules: Tag (or list) the mutual/friend/acquaintance/etc. that best fits each category. I was tagged by @mistmarauder because she likes to derail my day.

Is the funniest: @mistmarauder makes me howl with laughter even when I'm mentally flipping her off and I always appreciate @brassm's memes

Has the best tags: I'm saying the same as Jess - @stagefoureddiediaz @evcndiaz or @extasiswings - their tag essays end up screenshotted and put on posts for a REASON

Is the most underappreciated creator: @captainofthefallen which I get because she tends to write in small fandoms but if you're a Star Wars fan and know anything about Knights of the Old Republic you need to read her fic "Two With One Stone" OR I'M BLOWING THE PLACE UP

Is the most underappreciated blogger: @catdadeddie just because she deals with SO much crap in her inbox and I feel like people should appreciate her patience more

Is most likely to be kinkshamed: *tosses hair* me. :3 okay okay seriously, maybe @evcndiaz?

Knows you best: @captainofthefallen @devilsbrokerank @extasiswings although @mistmarauder is coming around the turn and gaining down the stretch

Is most likely to delete their blog in a rage: @catdadeddie seriously how she hasn't rage quit yet with the nonsense she sees, I don't know

Changes their url most often: LUCKILY I HAVE SANE FRIENDS WHO DO NOT TORTURE ME WITH SUCH THINGS actually @evcndiaz does it occasionally

Is everyone’s favorite mutual: @mistmarauder everyone wuvs her

Is most likely to become Tumblr famous: I actually do have some tumblr-famous mutuals but I'm not gonna tag them since they obviously get enough annoying attention already. You know who you are, I still can't believe you think I'm cool enough to talk to.

Is most likely to win The Hunger Games: @givemeunicorns are you fucking kidding me? hands down. she grew up in the middle of nowhere and currently works in the woods. she handles snakes with her bare hands. she'll survive whatever the arena throws at her AND kick your ass

Is most likely to marry their Tumblr crush: I actually don't really feel like any of my friends or mutuals are the type for that.

Would call you to bail them out of jail: @devilsbrokerank and they wouldn't even remember how they got in there

Has the longest block list: @extasiswings lmao or maybe @eddiediass IDK I just get a Vibe

Is most likely to strive for world domination: someday @extasiswings or @catdadeddie is gonna snap and decide they can do it better themselves

Is most likely to survive the zombie apocalypse: @givemeunicorns she's the butch leading the remnants of civilization

Has the strongest food opinions: @mistmarauder although if you asked her she'd say she has the "correct" food opinions

Is most likely to keep a plant alive: I do not trust any of these people with a plant. okay maybe @givemeunicorns since it's kinda her job.

Is most likely to share their fries with you: @tulipfromtheinternet or @captainofthefallen (grudgingly)

Doesn’t return their library books on time: @devilsbrokerank HEY RETURN YOUR BOOKS

This was difficult to do since I don't really talk to a lot of people on here, so sorry for tagging some of you multiple times, ha ha.

[minerwarfare-suzuya]

Miles ownership drama timeline, part 4

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

This is the last screenshot I have of him sharing his interactions on Amino from his deleted post. I did try doing more research of Miles on Amino but so far the only thing to know is that he's literally in a majority of Mobox87 amino communities just to hound users over his ownership under the account named "AJ Afton".

So, after going through all that about him. I wanted to approach this issue and speak out about it because I didn't find it okay for someone to be a prick to artists or Mobox87 fans over his ownership. So, I started off with posting these at the peak of this page being a rant blog.

I wasn't going to stop there since Miles took his discourse onto the @moboxcritique blog. He was going off about blocking accounts for making him feel unsafe despite the fact he would be the one harassing minors with no self control on Amino and making a target for people to criticize him or get harassed back for being an asshole. So, I went off on him over his comments.

What I find so disrespectful about this person is that he excuses his actions and acts like he is the victim by saying he has certain conditions that make him react the way he does to entitle himself.

@justcagney responded saying this to his comment. Obviously pointing out that he's playing the victim for sympathy.

Miles is just making the people who have autism or any mental health condition get a bad reputation for his actions online. So I practically had enough of hearing about the dude being a complete scum into an already toxic fanbase having to put up with him.

Now due to the amount of pressure Miles was getting about his ownership and rules. He decided to publicly say that he didn't want Mobox87 to announce him buying OCs from her.

Like I get that you don't want to be announced for supporting her with your money when she sells an original character but doesn't help that you have strict rules about not allowing people to draw OCs you buy especially the fact that now you make your ownership private.

Like all your doing is making it more complicated since what if someone drew that OC and you complained but that person didn't know about it. Wanna know why that would happen?

Cause you fucken decide to be even more petty and privately buy OCs that people won't know about!

So, at this point on i just had enough and made a new approach on how to get the term "fair use" in his fucken head since he was going around complaining that drawing a character he bought is an act against his permission.

I took that shit into consideration against him by bringing section 107 on the copyright law. So, I teased what I was going to be doing on the Moboxcritique blog anonymously but I would go into details with Kevonica about how I was going to call out Miles.

That's when I dropped a mini comic calling out Miles on the Moboxcritique blog's submission box.

This is the original post by me.

This sparked a couple good laughs and everyone agreed to the fact but it did spark an angry response from Miles. I ended up getting the most outrageous and hysterical conversation from him that literally doesn't make any sense for him to "lash" out at me all except that I drew eyelashes on a character that has them already to begin with.

But this argument wouldn't end here. Oh no! This would later go onto another dm argument with him on Instagram.

This argument that kept going would also ignite the rumor that Mobox87 accused me of asking her to be my girlfriend. The reason that is the case is because Miles got in contact with Mobox on Twitter over my mini comic just to spread a lie against me as humiliation and that lie would eventually get SonicCrash (Mobox87 brother) to respond to me in his own mini comic.

Full conversation of that argument posted here🔗

Eventually after this whole issue went down. It ended really quick and people were still very skeptical about Miles apology towards me and were still upset at him since despite all of his efforts of wanting no one to draw his paid OCs. The dude would sell those OCs that he kept bitching about to not have others draw and it's like...

What the actual fuck was the point of complaining you fucken idiot?

It's so baffling that he quickly switches up like that after just selling something that he just bought months or weeks ago prior.

Why in the fuck did you make it such a big deal over it to people who just wanted to draw them?!

You buy so many characters off of Mobox87 and sell them after having a literal break down over slightest thing that is completely harmless.

Just to prove that he buys literally most of Mobox87 OCs. You can check out the faces of nothing blog and his name is brought up the most with whatever OC is on sell.

Part 5

[horizon-verizon]

This won't change anyone's mind especially those who are vehemently against this ship and against Aemond (and for good reasons!) but there were actually some leaks pointing to Helaemond and/or to feelings from Aemond's part, at least. If you go to their blogs or Twitter accounts you will see that maaany, many shippers actually seem to base the chance of their ship becoming canon in some shape or form in S2 in those leaks. Last summer before the show was airing there was a leaker who went by the name of "HOTDLeaks" on Reddit. They posted a summary for every single episode which all turned to be 90%+ true and because of it HBO got Reddit to remove them for copyright reasons. The leaker obviously had real sources, I don't think anyone denies it at this point. But besides posting the summaries, they also answered various questions from other users and some of them were related to Aemond and how he would be portrayed as a character in the show. Nobody asked anything about the ship since it was NOT a thing at all before the show yet the answers were (the leaker said this is how his character was described in the casting call sheets for the audition): 1) "He loves his sister Helaena before her marriage, is jealous of Aegon."

2) "A lover of history/learning & a skilled fighter. His potential for greatness is obvious. He’s in love with his sister Heleana and dislikes Aegon. He’s bullied by Aegon & the Strong boys as a child. He becomes increasingly bitter with age."

Some screenshots of the posts: https://twitter.com/catalystcomett/status/1589389714599317504 (yes it's a shipper's account, I know but I haven't found any other post that included all those screenshots in one place) It seems like the former screenshot seem to be about young!Aemond and the latter about older!Aemond (or a mix between the two?) given the "lover of history" thing confirmed by his line in 1x09 about him studying history and philosophy.

This two posts were also removed by HBO for copyright reasons and it is interesting because there were other things the user posted and HBO did not bother to remove.

There is also this comment (notice the second part on inconsistent feedback from their sources): 3) "Aemond states that he would have married Heleana if he had been the brother chosen for her. I’ve gotten inconsistent feedback on wether or not this is out of love or duty." So now one can say "Aha! See, it's just that he's the dutiful son compared to Aegon! Even the leaker said so after all." Yes, it could very well be just the duty thing. Or it could be not. This post however was not removed like the others above which implied or said more than just duty although it doesn't necessarily mean anything.

4) Also something about the writers discussing whether or not to adapt the Aemon/Naerys/Aegon dynamic to Aemond/Helaena/Aegon. It's also in the screenshots above but here is another one (notice the date, again, before the ship was a thing): https://twitter.com/ZombieBryce/status/1555902921719439360

Their account (hotdleaks) was suspended by Reddit but to verify the posts were indeed genuine and not faked by shippers you can use apps such as Unddit (unfortunately it's a bit laggy, at least for me) which shows a poster's entire history including deleted/removed posts and enter the "hotleaks" username there. You can see that they do show up (you can click on the post and it will redirect you to the specific Reddit threads although with some posts being deleted…the threads may not make much sense). https://camas.unddit.com/#{%22author%22:%22hotdleaks%22,%22resultSize%22:100,%22after%22:%222022-07-23T21:00:00.000Z%22,%22before%22:%222022-08-05T21:00:00.000Z%22} As you can see from the history they also knew about the Larys foot fetish stuff, Aegon raping a servant girl (turned out to be Dyanna), the Greens being largely whitewashed and more sympathetic and other things.

Obviously one could say it's just that young!Aemond had just a teen crush on her and nothing more and that if there was actually anything behind the ship they would've had a proper scene together as adults (a very good point actually!) but one could also answer that we've only known them as adults for two episodes (three in Aemond's case) so there's still some room for something to happen in early S2 before B&C happens. And to be clear, by something happening I do not mean something ridiculous like the children theory being true, I only mean just a confirmation of feelings being romantic.

To conclude, sure, it's not definitive confirmation by any means but, in my opinion, in can be said the whole thing does point to the writers at least playing with the idea while also leaving things ambiguous enough in case they decide to make the ship canon next season…or not. They've not painted themselves into a corner where making it canon is the only option going forward but they haven't done the opposite either.

However like I said in the beginning those who either hate Aemond a lot or the ship will never admit there is indeed some 1% chance of it becoming a canon or at least be open to the possibility. I don't blame them of course, but I just think given how much they've already changed from the book, one should be opened to anything happening in the show despite not happening at all in the source material. They're not going to suddenly stick to Aemond's proper book characterization like some are hoping, just because Daeron who's supposed to be the dutiful son (where is this in F&B though?) is going to be in S2 and because we and others have been complaining about it, despite us being in the right. As you said and others have said, he's popular and there's way too many people who sympathize with him and writers will feel validated by these kind of reactions to him. They will keep witewashing him, undoubtedly.

Sorry for this ask getting so long, hopefully everything I wrote makes sense!

It was a useful ask, and I'm keeping this one fresh. It's finally a comprehensive look at Heloaemond apart from "because". This might explain much of why a fan would see Helaemond happening in the show in any state (but mostly romantic w/o sensuality). Me, I think that the underlying reason why the writers would choose to do it is to make Aemond more sympathetic.

Anyone else can look through the posts and sites for their own use.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Hey. I saw your post about gftwd wanting revenge, and I feel like I have to say something because this situation is so out of hand. You can read this or you can tell me to fuck off, but I want this off my chest and you should know what’s happening. It’s gonna be long, but sorry. I was a follower of her original account from very early on and one of her ''Discord girls'' who she became tight with. I’m ashamed to say that I went along with the questionable things she said and did because I lowkey felt flattered she was my friend and shared stuff with me she didn’t post on her blog, like Evan’s Amazon profile and his Airbnb profile. This was before he privated them and only a few of us had that info back then and I never saw it talked about on here or anywhere else like Twitter. She is not a mentally stable person, she seriously got consumed with Frances before and now she is consumed with your blog and followers. She never deleted Discord, at least not her own account because we had a private DM chat going that went on even after she archived her other blog.. yes, archived. It’s not deleted. Ever since your blog appeared she has made no secret of absolutely loathing you, mostly because her former followers went over to vent to you and she blames you for anons attacking her over Frances, because you said she slut shamed her. She feels humiliated by the situation and mad that now she only has a handful of followers since you ‘’made’’ her delete. When she remade her blog she made some post about having been in the hospital for treatment and that wasn’t even true. She is hellbent on getting revenge, and she is doing everything she can to dox you. She is always talking about an uncle she has who works in cyber-security and I think she really believes she can track people down and make them pay in some sort of way. For all her talk of IP addresses and legal action, she has told me that the only info she has is based on visits to her page so she doesn’t actually know for certain who is individually sending each ask. But she has said she has your IG profile (IDK if that’s true) and that she feels like you’ve wronged her so severely she is willing to lie in order to ruin your reputation in the way she feels you ruined hers. This includes spoofing IP addresses and doctoring screenshots/photos, which she asked ME to do because she knows I do a bit of photo editing and graphic design (not for bad sh*t, legitimately). I didn’t do it. That was the last straw. I told her I feel like this isn’t necessary and that it’s better to move on and never post about this situation again so people will forget, to just be the bigger person in this situation and take the high road.. but she doesn’t plan to do that. When I told her I feel like this has gone way too far and that I can’t support doing this stuff she just blocked me on Discord. If you post this she’ll see it and obviously know who it is but I don’t give a sh*t anymore. I deleted my own Tumblr a while back due to mental health concerns and the amount of time I was spending here and I think she needs to do the same for her OWN good. I regret ever visiting her page and involving myself in any way. I wasn’t even a huge stan of Evan’s, I was just curious and went down the rabbit hole. I’m deleting this app off my phone so even if she decides to make a post calling me out and threatening to sue me I won’t be here to see it. Peace.

well, here we go :) i really have very little else i can say about this situation, other than... well, you know. this is not anywhere even in the ball park of normal and acceptable behavior. and i already knew that someone on here was stalking my IG page because i received an anonymous ask about it a couple of weeks back (march 7). i guessed it was her, because i don't know who else would care enough to do something creepy like that. you would have to make an effort to connect a cartoony AI generated photo of me i posted on here to an IG profile following people associated with evan. i do not post anything fandom related on my IG profile so it's not like you would just stumble upon it like whoopsie i think that's tweam. i privated my page and got a request right after from a nondescript profile and deleted it. for someone who has spent the last several weeks proclaiming they are not a bully, but rather, the bullied.. this behavior is mighty strange. oh well. the fact remains, you cannot control what other people do. but i sincerely hope that she seeks help and stops posting about my blog, sending me anonymous threats, and now i guess attempting to doxx me! oh what fun it is to be on tumblr in 2023.

i'm going to bed. this shit seems exhausting to me, i can't imagine how much mental energy it takes up to be hyper-focused on being hateful when you can literally just do anything else and be better spending your precious time. i'll resume my regular evan peters gossip tomorrow as time permits. or maybe gftwd will show up at my front door with a chainsaw or some shit lmfao goodnight.

[lionews]

"ok so you dont have sc? LOL you got me fucked up if you think ppl are just gonna believe this coming from an anon on a slat blog bsfr"

Mmkay sweetheart, obviously you didn't read the whole post lmao, bring it on when you learn how to reply in full context. ;)

Why would I have screenshots when I A. Don't have the computer that this all happened on anymore. B. HAVE THEM BLOCKED ON EVERY PIECE OF MEDIA. or C. No longer be able to access DM's/PM's anyway because they've been closed and or deleted since the time it happened? I knew nobody was going to do anything about it, and I was fucking done with shitheads like you who wouldn't believe a bee was flying around if it stung you on the ass

.

[hellsbellschime]

The fact that this conversation is coming along because of being critical of the Targs is such fucking bullshit. I do think it’s important and valid conservation - on YOUR side - because you’ve not only clarified your position but had an open mind throughout the last five years to take in better info and make your opinion more informed. It’s good and really cool to see! Maybe a silver lining in this fucktrain but it sucks because it feels like these Targ stans are using human suffering, the subjugation of Palestinian people, as a “gotcha” way to cancel you over fandom bullshit. It’s so obviously disingenuous on their end, not to mention harmful as it’s clear they do not give a singular shit about the actual pain and suffering the Israeli-Palestinian conflicts have caused.

Well and unless I'm confused I think it just came up because someone on "their side" got outed for something bad, and so since I'm like the only person making a lot of pro-Green content on YT they came for me?

But regardless, ultimately I'm not owed the benefit of the doubt from anyone and I very much think it is on me to own whatever I have said or done, but looking at it as a collective conversation that I had, I can actually see blind spots that I had that I didn't realize were there before. Ironically within the context of the larger conversation I actually see more that is worth criticizing, and having a better frame of reference for what I said and where my mind was at during that particular conversation gave me a much better perspective. Obviously a lot of people don't remember every conversation that they had 5 years ago, so my only recollection was that it was an idiotic argument about Gal Gadot who I know nothing about and am not a particular fan of, and those two screenshots didn't really paint a full picture of what was going on so I still couldn't really remember what I had said or why.

And frankly, I did recognize that deadass deleting my entire blog probably would have been beneficial if I really wanted to become a YouTuber because there is just SO MUCH there that I don't remember and that could be bad, but I decided against it because I feel like running from the parts of your past self that you don't like is some cowardly bullshit, and acknowledging that people don't just start out perfect and doing everything right is a lot better than pretending otherwise. And while that obviously puts me in a position where not awesome things can be thrown my way, this is actually a good example of why it is a positive, because I can both look back and see those blind spots and recognize how much I've changed, and I can also see that those blind spots were there and therefore recognize that I almost certainly still have a lot of blind spots that I need to be aware of and try to change. Obviously it would have been more pleasant if it had come to my attention in a less fucked up manner, but it is what it is and at least there can be some kind of silver lining to it on my end.

[captainsteveamericarogers]

Why are you so quiet? Everyone has gone insane and making up new facts every five minutes, you're usually the first one to lose your patience and lay it down. You're obviously on Chris' side yet you're letting people talk shit about him. You need to say something!!

I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted. You talk as if I'm some matriarch of the fandom when in fact I'm just a mediocre fanfic writer who is exhausted with this whole debacle and it's barely been two weeks. Nobody listens to me!

Today I saw a magnificent example of both Chinese whispers and alternative facts in this fandom. The person who alleged that CE was at her work for medical imaging, who I suspect was also the author of the now-deleted Reddit post, only tweeted that she had found out he was at her work. I appreciate that many people deleted the screenshots of the tweet as it was a gross invasion of his privacy and a HIPAA violation that, if true, would have very serious consequences for both the tweeter and her employer, and that a lot of people didn't see it. But suddenly people were talking about an actual x-ray or MRI image that had been posted and deleted. There was never an image. That didn't stop a few people from saying they knew someone who had seen it, which adds credence to the rumour despite being a lie due to there never being an image.

A lie can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on - The Truth by Terry Pratchett

We are seeing this in action every single day since the People article. I've seen people make the most outlandish claims. Suddenly, everyone has a friend who knows his flight details or what he ate for dinner. It's utterly demented. It's beyond crazy.

Let's go through all of the utter horse shit I can recall from the past fortnight. Shall we have more bullet points?

It's all PR

They have a contract for two years (how could anyone possibly know this?)

Chris obviously cannot stand Alba anywhere near him

The girl in the park who was forced to delete her Twitter was in on it and planted there to record

Chris has been personally seeking out Tumblrinas to block on Twitter

Narrative PR wrote the deranged fan letters to make the fandom "look crazy" (lol) and garner sympathy for Chris

Literally anyone who sticks up for Chris or Alba is, in fact, Chris or Alba or their moms

Alba wore a halter to WDW to show off her tattoo and be recognised (Really? Who on earth is going to recognise her?)

She only flew into FL to record the video and then left immediately (y'all really don't like them spending time together, huh?)

They are reading every single post every single gossip blog writes and using the comments to make their fake PR relationship more convincing

There's more but this is so exhausting. If you take one thing from this post, let it be this. Take EVERYTHING with a pinch of salt, no matter who posts it and how sure they seem. Sometimes people are right and sometimes they are wrong. This fandom has a nasty habit of voicing their opinions as facts, then others take that and run with it, like today with the medical imaging business.

The fact is, nobody cares whether or not you believe it. But you are devoting hours of your life, every single day, dissecting everything and going around and around in circles and it is not healthy. It is not healthy at all. Take some time off or at least talk about something else.

Someone asked what I personally think is happening with Chris and Alba, so I'll leave you with my thoughts. It's serious. They are in love. I think they'll probably get married sooner rather than later. The laser focused comment was an FYI, telling the fandom that he's going to be taking his foot off the gas and concentrating on his private life for the foreseeable future. Take it with a pinch of salt. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[discluded]

Oh Boy. When I said that last night and then proceeded to be a little shit this morning about What I Know, I was not exactly anticipating them to preempt me with even more obviousness.

Here's a recap for everyone else:

Two Chinese tourists posted this morning that they saw MA on their date at the temple yesterday, and it was only the two of them together. She shared a photo of Mile in the passenger seat and Apo driving, and confirmed multiple comments it was "Just the two of them."

link 1 / link 2

Supposedly the girls (1) didn't know who Mile and Apo were... but said (2) "they look uninterested in girls" and (3) "they're a couple, right?" (The tweets have the same translations, but I'm translating it for you right now and since they're not embedded in the screenshots I'm not gonna post the comments. Source: Dude, trust me™, I also read Chinese 🤣)

Also, I'm sorry, I just spent like 20 minutes laughing about this. WHEEZE

Okay, so supposing y'all read the industry plant article, I'll just summarize what I think is going on here.

Industry plants can also be "fan" accounts that sway the mood and direction of the fandom. They can create what appears to be "organic" hype and dissemination of information when it's specifically shared with the fandom by the PR team. Sometimes shared directly with these accounts. That isn't to say these accounts aren't real fans -- but that some of these fans have an actual In we might not know about.

And why is it important the origin is Weibo?

The thing is, they have a very large fanbase in China and on Weibo, probably larger than even on Twitter and they have a lot of movement power on Twitter as we saw by the KisFarger x MileApo event that reached 1 million tweets. As mentioned by the volume of conversation in Weibo in general, information spreads very quickly. Sometimes the origin is purposefully obscured (see the screencaps redacting the usernames).

In the first picture, it appears to be the tourist who spotted them confirming they were spotted together and only by themselves. In the second one, it appears to be specifically a new blog post sharing parts of private conversation where the OP tourist who posted the photo said they appear to be a couple and hypothesized they're disinterested in girls (lol).

This is all then shared quickly back to Twitter for one specific reason: Weibo is heavily monitored and censored by the Chinese government. Mirrors of Twitter users are oftentimes Weibo users who share just a fraction of what they see, and they're sharing it in case it gets deleted.

This creates the appearance of an "organic" spread of information, and works very very well in highly invested, high-volume, rapid information dissemination fandoms such as this one.

So who is the PR team here?

I'm going to say... it's not BOC. It's probably Mile's strategy. They might be using BOC resources to some extent because I don't think Mile has his own personal PR team and outsourcing another PR team would be stupid when they've got on one staff, but the strategy is way more competent than the level BOC's internal team has been working at. And that's where Mile the Journalism Major comes in. (More to come on that with What Happened After Phuket which will still not be shared until After Kalasin)

What's the goal here?

I'm uncomfortable speculating the final end point, but as I've mentioned to a couple of people now, it's escalating daily. I actually did not expect this level of escalation today because in some ways it's a bit... too obvious.

But I will say this now and then you can all come laugh at me if I'm wrong,

At least the next very obvious level of "escalation" that we can will see is that Mile and Apo are going to go Kalasin together before the month is over and they leave for other countries on their world tour. This makes sense -- Mile will want to spend time with his family before they're super busy for work, and he's already said he wants Apo to come home with him if they have the chance. They'll post pictures from some of the tourists spots together. That's why the fans pointed out they were shopping for women's clothing yesterday at the mall.

At this point, I'm about 50% sure the question that got asked two weeks ago at the MileApo x Farger event about Mile taking Apo back to his hometown was intentionally seeded.

I want them to come out!

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ So I've gotten remarks to this effect over the last couple of days, so let me just put this out there: MileApo being able to be honest about who they are and who they love in public is not about you. Their lives are not entertainment for us. They are out there living honestly and allowing us to share in their happiness. But It's not about any of us. It's about only Mile and Apo.

As for what "out" means for any queer person, please see this interview with renowned gay rights activist and Ian McKellan from 2010:

Well, speaking personally I think it isn’t always enough to come out and say you’re gay, and be happy about saying you’re gay, and expect other people to accept you as you are. As long as there’s one person in the world who you couldn’t openly talk to about [it], you’re still, in a sense, closeted. You have to absolutely eradicate any inhibition which would stop you being honest. I’m not absolutely convinced that all people who think they are out have actually done that. And even to this day, if I’m in a taxi — and English taxi drivers like to talk — if they ask me about my supposed grandchildren, or my wife or something, sometimes I decide not to have that conversation. And I edit what I say. Even I feel that I am not absolutely, completely, totally out, because there are situations when I decide to be discreet. However, there are situations a gay person might find themselves in where it would be dangerous to say that they were gay. So I don’t know. Until you can totally stand resolutely on your own two feet, and be brave enough to do that, then you can’t get on with the business of changing the world. 

[neotrances]

i am so sorry you got baited by those people. i overshared to one of their friends when i was feeling suicidal and they obviously baited me too and told me to take a hint. i trusted the wrong people bc i had no one. their associated blogs even posted screenshots of it for everyone to see and talked about me being insane. i got messages from weirdos. i know for fact they interact with a lot of radiohead and nin blogs based off the 90s.

i think we - you and i - had a fight in the replies on a post once a long ass time ago, but it was about something small and stupid. these people are absolutely fucking delusional and will tell cancer survivors, ed survivors, csa survivors and sometimes all 3 to give in to the urge and finally do it. i can safely say i've deleted my page with no intent to go back. i've tried apologizing to appease the psychos because i was literally brainwashed, but i see you really can't win.

i think maybe you blocked me because i was into true crime or something like that but i was never in the community or so to speak because i've never been friends with anyone, really. maybe one person back then that has since left.

that industrial side of tumblr is downright HORRIBLE. i obviously was not in a good place when i was heavily into the other stuff, but neither are their friends who sui bait minors and the disabled lmao. at least i don't have current blood on my hands... the fuck? i tried to get help so many times regarding chronic illness but couldn't and this just further reinforced my desire to leave earth ig? not in a 100% way, more like ideation-wise. i am white and you probably guessed that lol, i'll leave if you'd like. i did say a lot of stupid shit back then but not as stupid as some of the others i was lumped in with.

[nothorses]

hey! looking for a bit of advice. i recently made a terf critical post that got immediately into terf circles and my notes + inbox is just full of them making their same shit points at me. mostly i’m finding it funny, since their points suck and they cannot tell which way to misgender me, but i’m also wondering; is there any actual point to attempting to debunk where they’re wrong or how they’re taking my (to my mind obviously jokey) post at face value in a missing the point in such a classic way i’m tempted to reply to most with r/whoosh? or should i just let it run its course and more or less ignore them

I have never seen engaging with TERFs end well.

There's that saying, "you can't reason someone out of a belief they didn't reason themselves into"; TERFs don't actually give a shit if whether what they believe is true or not, or even whether or how it hurts others. They're grasping as ways to justify their bigotry and gain and exert power over others, and those goals are not compatible with reason.

If they eventually get out, awesome! That is very possible for lots of people, and lots of people have done it. I would like all of them to get out, heal, and find acceptance.

But you, the person they can and will only see as The Enemy, are not going to be the one to get through to them.

It can be helpful to explain to onlookers why and how they're wrong, in case anyone is being swayed by their arguments- but it's also likely to invite more harassment, and it's often not necessary, either.

My best advice, after having dealt with this more than a few times, is to just block every TERF who reblogs or likes your post. Block every single one of them you can find, delete their replies, block their asks (maybe save screenshots of them, but block them after), and wait for them to get bored and leave you alone.

It's exhausting and it might seem endless, but it'll only be more exhausting and more endless if you directly engage. It's also likely that your post will see some resurgences in TERF circles down the line; be ready for that, and start blocking again as soon as you see a TERF in your notes.

You might also want to turn off anon, and if you can pinpoint the blog that found your post and blew it up originally, try to report them as well. Tumblr might not do anything, and if they do they're likely to remake, but if they had the power to draw that kind of attention to you, it's worth a shot to take it away from them.

Good luck, and stay strong! There's no shame in just turning off notifications for a post, either. Take care of yourself. 💙

[mmollymercury]

For the ask game: 💚💚💚

44. How often do you lie? Is all lying inherently bad? Are you generally truthful?

67. What’s the worst thing a person can be?

93. Do you draw meaning from your dreams, or do you disregard them?

OoOooOOO here we go!

Prepare for a long post with some venting sprinkled in

Okay, first: do I lie? Not much. I know a lot of people say that but I'm actually pretty proud of the fact that I don't lie often; I used to have a big problem with making stuff up about my life as a way to mask and fit in with neurotypicals. I was never my true self with my friends, out of fear of being shamed or bullied. I mostly stayed on tumblr back then (way more than now, if u can believe it) still had this blog, just a 'beta' version of it lol and I was in soooo many fandoms, I didn't interact with ppl tho, I'd be scrolling through fanfic and art all day, reblogging stuff and posting art that got literally ZERO notes lol, daydreaming about living in my hyperfixations and venting to a brick wall (essentially) about what I now know to be OCD. When I was revamping this blog, deleting all my old posts, I found that vent post I made all those years ago, I took a screenshot of it just to keep. It was so insane to see how far I've come but also sad to remember how I was feeling back then.

I actually cried thinking abt how I'd never be able to be my full self around someone and that I'd never have a genuine friend who I could laugh with and feel comfortable with. Whenever friends wanted to hang out or call me, I'd be nervous all day thinking about it, dreading it, basically. It was bad. But then I met @valentineee and she's honestly the first true friend I've ever had, she's my wife and I love her with all my heart‼️‼️‼️😭😭💗💗💗

So, since I met Valentine, I've finally become comfortable being who I am and I vowed to stop lying. Obviously sometimes it's inevitable, like if you have to do it because of circumstances- but other than that, I think I'm very truthful! And I'm really proud of myself for it💗

That kinda branches off to the sub-question, is all lying inherently bad? I don't think so because some people may have genuine, mental blocks or traumas that can make them feel like they need to to protect themselves. However, there are people out there who lie and take advantage of people just because they can, which is different. Overall, I think lying isn't too bad unless you are generally a trustworthy person💖

What's the worst thing a person can be?

A LIAR- no just kidding lol😭😭

Wow glitter... way to hit me with the heavy questions😭

Imo, the worst thing a person can be is immoral, inconsiderate, hurtful and evil, all on purpose. If someone does these things because they find it fun to see people suffer, that's the worst kind of person to me.

💤💤💫💫💫Dreamss💫💫💫💤💤

I used to draw meaning from my dreams to an unhealthy degree. All of you that have OCD would know that intrusions invade your dreams, I had awful dreams like this and every time I woke up, I'd be convinced I was actually a monster, dreaming of disgusting stuff. But that's not true, I was only dreaming about it because I spent EVERY. WAKING. MOMENT thinking about my intrusive thoughts, literally, I was inconsolable, I was constantly rocking back and forth or pacing or shaking my leg, every so often I'd scream and yell and twitch and my face would be pulled down in this awful grimace. It was painful, I literally can't believe I survived that. I couldn't be left alone because I was so scared and I had to sleep with my mam because the thoughts got worse when I was alone. I'm medicated now, so things are good. Intrusive thoughts will always be there but I've gotten so much better at trusting that I'm a good person🥰

Mkay... went on a whole ass vent there and bared my soul, oops-

Point being, I don’t really assign meaning to my dreams, if people do, I'm completely alright with it. I choose not to because of trauma. Also, I dont think it’s really possible to assign a definitive meaning to something as fleeting as a dream (wow am I a poet-) like, I do find it cool that a lot of ppl will dream of the same thing but I think that's just another thing that connects us, we're all human and have similar anxieties and fears.

I think I've written enough now😳😳 sorry for the angst urrrr

💗💗💗