#don't get me wrong. friends on tumblr you're lovely and you say really nice things about me <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[depoteka]

i really wish people could tell me in great detail how they perceive me exactly

[libbytwq]

hey can i be sappy for a moment, i feel like getting a thing off my chest (positive vent)

I love you all in the SMG4 Tumblr community so much. Y'all are absolutely epic and amazing and so creative and just. chill.

I've always been so nervous about joining set fandoms/fandom communities, cuz usually the community is huge and overwhelming, toxic, scary, crazy, and the idea of being in those communities and interacting with people in those communities and being in there not just to post a dingle fanart from it and dip, but to help be a big part of the community and whatnot sounded... overwhelming.

Then I slowly began getting super hyperfixated on SMG4, much more than I usually am, leading me to post more about it. Fanart, things I notice, goofy theories... more than just me saying a couple things i like about it, posting a fanart, then moving onto something else.

I started kinda just exploring the SMG4 tags and gradually, I began recognizing most of the people in this community more and more -- recognizing art styles, etc. I noticed how small a community it was.

And it was a mostly chill community. I wasn't really seeing much drama or questionable things, maybe some criticisms about the show or theories or whatever, but nobody was at each others throats. Plus, the fan OCs were super neat.

I had begun posting more and more SMG4 content, drawing fanart, their OCs, and the fact people were so just... chill and welcoming about it was so nice. It wasn't nearly as scary -- we are all just vibing here. Most of the artists you look up to will probably see your work, and give it attention too.

It feels super strange to be considered an SMG4 Tumblr artist, having people literally enjoying the things I make and making things for me when they make things for SMG4 fanartists... its honestly super surreal. But so so exciting and euphoric.

Cuz yall are so awesome!! Yall make my day so bright. Yall are the best.

I'll be honest, when I first was slowly being a part of the SMG4 community -- sometime right after summer vacation began -- I had been dealing with some petty but difficult irl person issues.

I don't want to get into it too much, but I had basically messed up in a pretty bad way (enough to make me feel bad the moment I did it, but not enough that we couldn't move on and mature from it), and the people involved were hurt worse than I thought they were, and instead of trying to talk it out they resorted lying about being my friends for months before school ended, and over summer break, tried to cancel one of my Scratch account and drag my followers there into drama that they had no business being in, for the simple reason being "you don't deserve all that fame".

Despite their attempt at trying to cancel me not really working out very well, it very much affected me negatively and made me very very scared about using Scratch again. I still post projects there sometimes, but i felt weird when i do it. I felt like those people were watching my every move, waiting to try and drag me down again. It felt so strange and scary to feel like the people I once cared so deeply about are breathing down my neck, waiting for me to make another wrong move and add it to their proof of why I'm an awful person.

It sucks ass.

The SMG4 community here on Tumblr, despite none of you knowing I was going through anything at all, you all helped a lot. Just existing.

Being a welcoming community that I feel safe to be silly and normal in.

I've never been the best at expressing appreciation, but let me just say:

I think of you all so highly and I never want you to change.

Keep making silly art. Or fanfics. Or AUs. Or OCs. Or whatever you like doing in this tiny close-knit fandom.

Keep doing everything you're doing to make this community mean so much to me.

❤️❤️❤️

...this sounds like im leaving the community,, IM NOT I just wanted to get it off my chest cuz ive been experiencing the emotions™ yknow, sorry that its not like my regular posts lol, im not gonna post like this much LMAOOO

TL;DR: yall are fuckin awesome please keep being awesome forever and ever ily bye

[runawaymun]

so.. reading and looking at your fics and art kinda makes me wanna try my hand at some stuff too (they are just so beautiful and elicit so many feels), but. you seem so knowledgeable and familiar with tolkien/elves lore (and so does everyone else i've started reading in this community of elf-lovers on tumblr haha) and i'm most assuredly not. i don't get so many of the world-building allusions authors make about the history/culture/magic, which is easy enough to deal with when reading, but do you think i'd be able to write anything good with such limited understanding of the world i'm writing in? i'm not even confident enough for modern au's because idek that much about the character's relationships/connections with each other, y'know? but what do you think? would the holes i have or straight up inaccuracies rly weaken the story and interrupt the reader's connection to the world/character's, or could i still get by? tolkien's worldbuilding is so intimidating lol

Oh my goodness, this is such a sweet ask.

I'm really glad that you love my art and writing so much, and I consider it SUCH a huge compliment that it inspires you to make your own! That's what it's all about, honestly.

So first off I just want to address the anxiety around the lore-knowledge and the Tolkien fandom because listen listen listen, there are people of every level of knowledge creating art and fics here. Let me just say that when I first published And the Stars Shine the Same three years ago, I was mostly working off of film knowledge and some vague book knowledge, and I was petrified to post it because of how intimidating the Tolkien fandom seemed. I was so worried about getting this wrong and making mistakes -- so know that you're not alone in that, and it is a very common anxiety in this fandom. The thing is, when I posted that fic I found that people loved it, and that everyone was so nice, and really I have not had anybody (save maybe...one person off the top of my head) get very nitpicky about the lore/language/etc. Everybody else was very nice, loved the fic, and super receptive and friendly.

I promise you that there are so many lovely people in this fandom and that, while they're extremely knowledgeable they're also so friendly. Nearly everybody I know would be delighted if you came into their inbox and asked them a question about their specific area of interest with regards to the Silm and LOTR. There are amazing resources in this fandom, and everybody is very happy to help when asked. When I was getting started I mostly talked to friends, looked at other fanart (because honestly there is a LOT of information packed into how people portray characters in fanart for this fandom), and when I wasn't sure on something I just checked the wikis. I believe Tolkien Gateway is one of the best resources, though I also use The One Wiki to Rule Them All, and this is one of the best resources I've found for just a quick look at common Sindarin phrases, and for everything else I use Parf Edhellen which is an incredibly comprehensive dictionary for Tolkien's various elvish languages. And if you're not sure on something, just send a call out into the void because there are dozens of besties on Tumblr who are happy to offer suggestions for names or phrase translations. There's also so much information on Youtube.

I didn't even get around to reading the Silm and rereading LOTR until I felt like it. Honest to god I looked at the wikis and asked friends for most of the stuff I needed.

And I know how intimidating it can be to build your own story within Tolkien's world, but for me what I liked so much about his work is that--- while he is specific on some things, he's also very vague on others. There is a lot of room for interpretation and your own headcannons and worldbuilding. That was part of why I chose the historical spot I did for Stars and Boundless Sky, because it was sort of "dead space" so to speak with regards to Tolkien's own worldbuilding, and so I was able to play around and do my own thing without worrying too much about stepping all over lore.

But okay, all of that to say: yes you can write good stories without being super knowledgeable. Please believe me you can. You can write whatever you want, so long as you love it, and it is yours. If you have a story you want to tell in Tolkien's little legendarium then please, please do. Tolkien's legendarium is a mythology, and mythologies are meant to be retold and reinterpreted. Tolkien's canon is incredibly loosy-goosey. There are parts of unfinished tales where Christopher Tolkien wrote: "I really couldn't make sense of my dad's notes, so here's everything. Knock yourself out ig" (notably, "Of Galadriel and Celeborn").

And Peter Jackson was fairly faithful when it comes to the og trilogy. Like there are things that I take issue with that are pet peeves of mine, and I know that's the same for a lot of people as well. Everybody has their things they take umbrage with and things they like, but generally if that's your base for knowledge you're going to be just fine to start writing fic. If you decide you want to research more, then that's up to you and the story you are trying to tell! If you're working off of the Hobbit films, that's a little different, but in general the Hobbit fandom is pretty chill when it comes to that. I would suggest reading the book if you can find the time to. It's an easy read and short, and it is very, very different to the films.

With the LOTR books...I know a lot of people are book purists and that's okay, and a lot of people go "oh you really SHOULD read the books", but tbqh as a lover of both, I think the films do a good job of telling you the heart of the story (barring a few characters like...uh. Elrond, whom PJ absolutely butchers, but I digress sorry sorry). The books do add a lot and deepen the meaning for a lot of things, and flesh a lot of characters out (and they're just fun to read), but again... yes you can write good stories without being super knowledgeable. I will say that over and over again nonnie I am grabbing you by the shoulders and looking you dead in the eye: please write your story if you want to. Please do not be afraid to just give it a stab. If you find that your lack of knowledge is holding you back for some reason, just ask! So many people will be happy to answer your questions.

Fanfiction is for everybody. Tolkien is for everybody. You do not have to be the most incredible skilled writer or know the lore really well to be able to write it. Please believe me as a person who was scared to write for the Tolkien fandom and then fell in love: people really do not gatekeep much, and if they do they're assholes. I have met so many lovely, friendly, genuine people by creating stuff for this fandom. You will be okay.

So...ough this got long, sorry. But TLDR: Yes. You can write a good story. If you are worried about holes/the story/characterization getting weakened, try to find a beta reader. They're absolute life-savers. Barring that, start posting, find a friend who as insane about your blorbos as you are, and then share snippets and plot ideas with them and within that kind of community you can get a feel for what's working in your story and what isn't. All of my best friends I have made on here are people who read my fics and have been so helpful in offering suggestions.

There are many resources, everybody is friendly, it is not as scary as it looks. The most important thing is that you have fun. Write what you want to write. It doesn't have to be good. All that matters is that you enjoy it.

[orpiknight]

OrpiKnight's FAQ FAQ

For the Neil Gaiman Tumblr FAQ

GO S3 was announced! Will you be updating the FAQ still? Yep! :)

--- Who? Vel (blog OrpiKnight)

Why? I'm excited about Good Omens 2, I was looking through the Asks on Neil Gaiman's blog anyway, and I like having a constructive outlet when I'm going through so much information. And there were a lot of repeat questions. I mainly made it for me and my friends for reference, but then decided to go ahead and throw it out into the Tumblr void, too.

*Are a lot of these questions really frequently asked? Well, this started out being called a "QnA" doc because I was compiling the Asks. Then everyone kept calling it a "FAQ". So I rolled with it. It keeps up with the current Asks as much as possible, though. (I have no way of knowing how many times he gets asked some questions. That's for his inbox to know.)

Will you be actively updating it with new questions/answers? Yes. I update in batches now, every month or so. For my sanity. *When I update things, I usually put the new questions at the bottom of their section, even if they might fit next to something else in it better. This is just to make new ones easier to find. Later on I might reorganize them.

Can you put it in a Tumblr post? No. It's too much information, it can hang out on docs (which is 30+ pages). I'm pretty sure I would hit a word limit if I put it on here. Or break my dash. Or accidentally delete it. *You don't need a Google account to access it. I have tested this signed out on non-Chrome browsers. (I use Firefox btw)

You missed some Asks. Yeah... there is no way I could get all of them. I had to draw the line somewhere.

Some of the questions are strange. Don't I know it. Edit: But I do like to put in all sorts of questions. Sometimes there are things that don't even occur to me to ask that Neil says he gets constant questions about (like the ice cream/ice lolly). Sometimes there are things that I don't realize need clarifying (like "two consenting bicycle repairmen"). One person can ask a creatively specific question that other people are quietly wondering about. I also like the funny ones.

I found an error (typo/link not going to where it's supposed to/accidentally wrong info/etc.)?

But seriously, it's okay to message me to let me know. It's very helpful.

Can I have shared editing access to your document? No.

About the fanfiction thing... Please end my suffering. (And Neil Gaiman's) Edit: I should probably clarify that I do like fanfiction.

I have personal opinions. Please be nice to me.

Can you add or change this, that, or whatever? I work irl, am usually tired, and don't have much time to constantly edit every little thing. Unless you're Neil Gaiman himself asking, it's likely I'm just going to leave it how I organized it. And I mean that in the politest way possible. Speaking of, if you would like to help me out at all with things like bills, medical costs, and food— here's my: Venmo: @ajgvel Ko-fi page (It says you're giving me ducks on there! :D)

It's not expected of course. Regardless, much love to everyone, and thanks for making a space where we can all have fun together about something we enjoy. ♡

Find me on Bluesky: OrpiKnight

[ask-nijiro-nanase]

IMPORTANT MOD POST

TW: mentions of scu/cide, de/th threats, light homophobia, hate talk and generally harsh language and themes please read at your own discretion (this was hastily put together because I have work in like ten minutes please ignore spelling errors im stressed)

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So this happened i guess, these are screenshots i took from the past few days of hate asks i have been receiving for the past week and a notification screenshot i got from around when i started receiving these, and a photo of an ask i got that I had sent to a friend joking about this person consistency of sending me a hate comment several times a day, every day. I made a strict rule for myself that id just delete hate asks and not let them bother me and I have been, at the start i simply deleted these asks and hoped this person (who i assume is the same person repeatedly sending in these using the anon feature) would get bored and leave me alone, which obviously they didn't /: i feel pretty crappy since i kept telling myself that i was just going to ignore and delete these anon asks over and over again but here i am, not ignoring them breaking my own rule, it's only been around five days of this which seems kinda pathetic ig at least it feels pathetic that i couldnt just ignore this person but i have been getting around anywhere from one to six asks a day like this depending on the day, when this first started i was getting a lot of them which I just deleted but as time has went on the asks have reduced to two or three a day but it hasnt stopped completely

over the time I have actually been receiving this I quickly noticed that these are baseless comments, something you could say to hate on pretty much anyone with a roleplay blog. There were no specifics, and also I don't use tumblr ver often so it's not like i really interact with people on here outside this blog, this person does not know me and I certainly don't know them i've kinda been stewing with my thoughts and overthinking on why I started receiving hat and maybe this is completely out there and a wild guess but this person could want attention on them, even if their anon they know that this post I'm making right now, is about them, or they might just want to start shit, honestly I could be completely off and maybe this person had some weird personal motive what do i know at this point???

with the time I've been giving myself thinking about this I have just gotten really in my head and I was very worried that maybe making a post and acknowledging this anon would almost be encouraging the behaviour? and kinda the only reason I'm actually talking about this now is because I'm going to be taking a small break, I am okay ofc, just think a small break would be good for me but this means I probably wont even be checking my ask box or really responding to any messages, comments, reblogs, I'm just going to step back for a little while and focus on other things in my life that need my attention Touching on a few topics from the last time this was an issue with a different blog, the character and I are minors, you're threatening a CHILD even if I wasn't under 18 these are still just horrible things to say to someone and I really really don't want this to be a common thing or a consistent issue because I like doing this, it's fun and I enjoy talking to people on here, anon or not, I'm sure a lot of the other people who have rp blogs do as well and people like this shouldn't ruin that for them, let people do what they want to do on here it isn't disrupting or hurting anything. I'm honestly just dumbfounded I guess to why this even happening? I don't thing I've done anything 'disgusting' 'gross' or otherwise wrong, i really don't want to turn anon off because I love talking to the really nice people who interact with me on anon and I don't want to ruin it for those incredibly kind people because of one person making some nasty comments

If the person who sent me those asks is reading this, please please know that this isn't the right way to get attention or feel better about anything, in general it does nothing good of any sort, it genuinely can hurt people and if you're doing it because you actually feel that way about roleplay blogs, just block those blogs it's really not that hard. Sending in hateful messages like that doesn't give you any sort of good attention, this is something serious and horrible to do and I pity you because something must have brought you to think this is just okay? normal? It's not it's pathetic and I hope that one day you can understand how much your words could affect the people around you. personally i like to think I'm not someone who can be super effected by words, especially online since I know people will be a lot harsher when hiding behind a screen, but to think you could've said this to someone who was genuinely really struggling with their mental health and could've taken your comments to heart is sickening, please reflect on yourself because this behaviour is not only childish but cruel.

--

and to anyone that sent in asks recently I'm super sorry I haven't been able to reply, I have a lot on my plate right now, super busy not only with mid-semester tests and projects coming up due but I have work on top of that and I really haven't found time to answer them, I quickly just wrote up this post so there are probably spelling errors but I'm way too burnt out to fix them right now have a good day and take care of yourself everyone I don't know when I plan on revisiting this blog but I shouldn't be away for too long, promise also sorry if this whole post is just me kind of rambling I just feel kinda lost and I don't even really know how to go about this, ive never done a rp blog before and i have never received hate on any of my blogs before i have no idea what im even doing at this point

[mangoshorthand]

https://www.tumblr.com/mangoshorthand/744233438604853248/httpswwwtumblrcommangoshorthand7439174121294

it was a random hookup with a family friend. we haven’t really spoken since so i don’t have the option of talking through with him. but it’s nice to know that this is just a common bodily thing and not me. so thank you.

Ah, that is difficult and probably contributed to the way you're feeling. There isn't enough of a level of intimate comfort to have built reassurance that it's really not you. Despite this however, I do promise it's not you. He's probably feeling embarrassed too.

And yes, honestly, it is just a physiological quirk. Sometimes there are reasons behind it (e.g. whiskey dick, lifestyle issues etc) but at other times it's just random and it's never to do with not being into their partner. You can pretty much guarantee, if he's trying to stuff it into you, he wants to. 😉

This has got me thinking about how Five would act in this situation if you're interested. So I present to you and the amassed pervs of Tumblr, something I never thought I'd write about:

Five Hargreeves in: The Curious Case of the Disappearing Erection

I can imagine him getting past 30 in the younger body and then noticing the lack of solid iron boners and the return of whiskey dick after he's had a drink.

He's like: "Ah shit, this again?"

He can scent it coming in the air. The return of phantom boner-failure is on the horizon.

Flashbacks to roughly 25 years in which he'd have to stop sex to try and rub some life into his dick, like he's hoping if he rubs it right a kindly genie will pop out and grant him the wish of a dick that cooperates.

It didn't happen often, but it happened enough to be familiar. He probably never realised it was normal, (there weren't exactly other men to talk to unti he was in his 50s).

I think there are few men who don't personify their dicks to some extent, and Five is no different. I can see him having sex with this girl he really wants and loves (you, if you want to imagine it as such), and then, lo and behold, his dick starts to nope out.

'Don't you dare,' he'd mentally warn his waning penis, 'we've been looking forward to this, asshole!'

But alas, his penis would pay no heed.

No matter how valiantly Five tried, no matter that you look so hot he's had trouble keeping his dick in his pants all afternoon, it has, in fact, chosen this moment to give up the ghost.

So he stops and eats pussy. He loves eating pussy so if anything's going to get him back up, it's that, and he may as well give you some pleasure with his mouth given that he's failing elsewhere.

But now he's so in his own head that maintaining even a partial boner is impossible, let alone allowing him to get into the pussy-eating.

By this point you've noticed something's up and you ask him what's wrong.

He tries to shrug it off and make you come, but you're persistent.

Eventually he says: "I got a problem down here."

Once you realise what he means, you try to tease some life into it, but he's self conscious by this point so it's a self-defeating exercise.

Eventually you give up, but you can sense his embarrassment so you're like: "don't worry, we can try again later."

(You're also feeling pretty self conscious and insecure yourself but you don't want to let on and make him feel worse).

You come to hold each other and stsy silent for a few minutes. Five's irrationally angry with himself and you're trying to talk yourself out of feeling like it's your fault.

Eventually, Five apologises. You can barely tell him he has nothing to apologise for before he's launched into a rant:

"All day I've been half hard looking at you, and now my dick gives up? You've been walking around in those tight pants and bending over and driving me crazy only for me to fuck it up now?"

You hug him harder, both because of the unfair self-blame and because he's unconsciously put your fears to rest.

With some more reassurance, he starts to see the humor in the situation, and then he grumbles off to make you both a coffee.

By the time he's back in bed with a cup of his favourite drug, he's talking about how later on he'll fuck you so silly that you'll forget all about this.

[moenxs]

I hope you feel better! What sort of things do you feel are rampant in the rpc? Do you think they are things that are easy to improve?

oooh boy now THIS is definitely going under a read more because the yapping i'm about to do....

Let me start off by saying a lot of things "wrong" with the rpc are easy to improve as a whole but much harder to improve individually since really a lot of this comes down to individuals and a "vocal minority" in a sense.

I think there's a lot of underlying elitism as a whole in the rpc whether its purposeful or just a byproduct of existing on this site. And a lot of this also results in a very "cliquey" vibe that stretches across every fandom. Now I'm not saying that having a friend group that you tend to prioritize a bit is bad, we all do that, i mean going out of your way to exclude people that try to extend a conversation of interacting, especially if you happen to be mutuals with them.

And I get that OOC interactions can be a little rough especially when social interactions can be hard for people, but if that's the case, then why be mutuals with someone if you're either not going to reach out first, OR interact with them at all if THEY reach out first? Idk that whole thing is just frustrating to me and I think that it's something that definitely needs to be improved on as a whole.

This next thing is just a little more personal and to some people i might sound like I'm whining but it's genuinely an issue with roleplay as a whole and not really just on tumblr.

The topic of a strange aversion to female characters, and OCs. And particularly female OCs. I talked about this with a mutual briefly earlier and they helped me feel a little better about speaking up on this. To be blunt, it still sucks to be an OC writer on tumblr, especially if it happens to be a female OC (don't even get me started on female CANONS though lmao that's a whole other convo-) and especially if you're not really "popular" within the rpc already.

I quite literally have one of my blogs on a momentary hiatus because he was getting a little too much attention. Meanwhile it was nearly crickets here at one point, and I won't lie it does hurt quite a bit. But I'm not going to blame everyone entirely, people have their preferences and that's understandable.

As someone who is a cis woman, i started out on tumblr writing female OCs, and slowly when i found myself getting more comfortable writing male OCs I also found myself getting more consistent interactions. It felt like people were actually getting excited to write with me. And younger me was loving it! I didn't even realize anything was weird as I eventually transitioned over to just writing male OCs entirely for a time. Female OCs still existed on my blog but they were collecting dust.

It wasn't until recently (post 2020 ish) that i really dived back into my female characters and it was around that that I had started to notice the trend as well. I dedicated myself to female OCs in particular and I noticed a pretty steep decline in interactions as a whole. Yea, maybe you can say it was a coincidence until I started writing a male OC again and things steadily increased once again.

Also, I dearly love interacting with other people's OCs, wholeheartedly so. But who wouldn't want to interact with a canon character as well? Other OC writers are extremely welcoming, I've rarely found someone that actively writes OCs more often than not that's not sweet as can be (there are exceptions but i won't get into that).

I've noticed though that (not all obviously but it's definitely a chunk) a decent bit of the elitism that I mentioned before comes from these canon writers. The ones that are "popular" and are actually well known in the space, while most can be just as nice, there's that "vocal minority" that can easily leave quite a bad taste in your mouth.

Like i said, it's a pretty vocal minority. Most if not all of my mutuals that write canons are absolutely not in this category. But still there are some that-

this is going to sound so bad but i promise it's not it's just that i cannot find a better way to word this-

Make me as an OC writer, idk, feel lesser? Like if i'm not one of their close friends that also happens to write an OC it feels more like it's simply an obligation to try and write with me than it is a mutual "excitement" i guess.

I don't know, it's just that even with some mutuals, there's a lack of mutuality and sometimes it makes me wonder why we're even mutuals. Maybe that's just a bit of insecurity talking but honestly at this point it's just incredibly frustrating than it is disheartening anymore.

Like, I do not care how slow you are as a writer, I would just be happy with some sort of reciprocation OOC???? I don't know if that sounds entitled, I know people have busy lives but to see people boasting about ships or plots that theyve been talking about with other people when I've been trying actively to plot with them or even just converse with them is also now more frustrating than disheartening these days lol.

ANYWAYS HAHA

yea that sure was a yap session and a half, I don't know how many of you will make it to this point but if you did thank you so much for hearing me out and hopefully I didn't really offend anyone that badly at any point LMAO

[jettithink]

txt - a night out at the club

where the introverts somehow find themselves in the middle of a dance floor + cw: drinking/alcohol, a sprinkle of angst in taehyun's, dissociation/derealization in hyuka's, a little suggestive if you use your imagination, idk we're just having a good ol' time + this is my first writing i'm sharing on tumblr, so be nice and i'll write more + mood: Love On The Floor - NCT 127, Upper Side Dreamin' - Enhypen, bOss - OnlyOneOf

Choi Soobin: It definitely wasn't Soobin's idea to go out, but a few of your friends invited you to a new club that opened up not far from your apartment, and he just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time to get dragged along with. Aside from being shy, the loud music and mass of people was intimidating, and it took more than his courage alone to bring him out onto the floor where you were already dancing. He wasn't entirely uncomfortable though. A lot of his enjoyment came from standing on the sidelines, watching you. Soobin had a few girls approach him with drinks, but he respectfully declined. As you two made eye contact and smiled at each other, he knew in his heart who he really only had eyes for. "Soob, come on!" Though the place was loud already, your voice carried above everyone else's, and your hand was leading him to the friend group before he could even decline. But for you, he wouldn't put up much of a fight anyways. Thanks to the alcohol in his system, Soobin was swaying to the music without much thought, and the two of you soon found yourselves paying much more attention to each other rather than the people in your surroundings. You both swore up and down that you're just friends, yet you knew the heat on your face wasn't just from dancing. Things carried on this way for a while, and the second that Soobin broke away from the group, your friends hounded you to make a move. "Dude, are you even seeing how he's looking at you?" "He definitely likes you, just go for it!" "If you don't tell him how you feel, I will." A chorus of slurred words of encouragement pushed you to act only slightly out of character, and when Soobin returned to your posse, you once again grabbed his arm and led him to the dead center of the dance floor, catching a glimpse of your girls giving you thumbs ups and winks on you way there. Soobin's eyes lit up with surprise at your sudden decision to abandon the group. "Will your friends be okay by themselves?" he questioned, leaning in close to your ear, but it would be a lie to say he wasn't just looking for an opportunity to get close to you. You two had been friends for a long time, and with the way his eyes grazed over every inch of your face, you could read his intentions easily. To know Soobin was to know his intent through what was unspoken, and those silent inclinations were what led you to wrap an arm around his neck and speak back to him, "I think we're the ones to be worried about," before mutually meeting each other's lips amidst the heat of the moment and the bodies moving around you to the intoxicating beats.

Choi Yeonjun: Celebrating your two year anniversary was a highly anticipated event. Knowing your it boy boyfriend, Yeonjun would be dressed no less than to the nines, and because you loved to match his competitive spirit, it was only courtesy to try and outdo him. At the end of the day, however, you both spared no efforts in hyping each other up and letting you confidences shine. "Damn, baby, you want me to spend all night keeping everyone off of you?" Staring would be too light of a word to describe the way you looked at him. He opted for a black ensemble to let his freshly dyed hair and accessories shine, and despite seeing him nearly every day, he always found new ways to leave you speechless. He chuckled at your rhetorical question. "You're one to talk, look at you! Absolutely stunning," Yeonjun took every inch of you in as he bit his lip to hold back a subconscious smirk. He grabbed your hand and led you to the car, holding it open for you just to have the opportunity to leave a little tap on your butt. The ride to the private club wasn't long, but gave the two of you plenty of time to share the aux, sing together and steal quick kisses at red lights. To celebrate your anniversary, Yeonjun opted to take you to an exclusive speakeasy-inspired club for a quiet dinner and a live jazz ensemble, which could be heard even from the outside as you pulled up to the valet. Lights were warm and low voices were buzzing around you as you were ushered to a table to dine on the most delectable cuisine. Being the two lovebirds that you are, you fed each other bites and took pictures, enjoying a tame evening. That is, until the wine started to kick in. Yeonjun, of course, wanted to dance. The trumpet player by the bar was someone you both knew well, and your boyfriend was pursing his lips and swaying his hips to the music, grooving along with the melody coming from the horn. You were content standing off to the side cheering him on, but Yeonjun approached you before long with his hand reaching out to you. "May I have this dance, beautiful?" He asked humbly, raising an eyebrow and giving his best smolder look, a look you could never in a million years say no to. With a buzzed smile, you accepted his hand in yours and let him lead you to the open dance floor, giving the trumpet player a look. With that, the tune changed. A gorgeous jazzy melody played, one you recognized as a rendition of one of your favorites. Yeonjun held you close, rocking you back and forth in a slow dance. His hands rested gently on your waist, letting the feel of the song and the wine in his system guide you around the dance floor. As he spun you around, your eyes caught glimpses of older couples dancing with you, and you couldn't help but think of how beautiful a long life together with your boyfriend would be. Two years down, with forever to go.

Choi Beomgyu: "I have a funny idea... let's leave." This was your first time meeting Beomgyu. You had heard plenty about him from mutual friends, who you suspected were trying to set you up, and now he was walking into the bar with two friends you both knew. The introductions were pleasant, and after a few drinks, you two hit it off extremely well. He had you laughing the entire time, and seemed to never run out of energy no matter how much your group was dancing. "What? But it's my own birthday party," you questioned in between giggles. "Don't you think people will notice if I'm gone?" And though you were playing hesitant, in all honesty you were no where near opposed to getting out with him. Beomgyu leaned closer, taking his plan far too seriously. "That's why we have to sneak out." He peeked his head up, eyeballing your friends who were still hanging by the bar while the two of you had naturally made your way close to the exit. "Look, we have a chance. Let's go!" Before you had even fully agreed, his large hand was grasping yours, leading you into the night. ***

Driving with Beomgyu was different from drinking with him. He was still himself, but he was more relaxed. Content. You were taking turns picking songs, and though his music taste wasn't what you would normally listen to, you found plenty more songs to add to your playlists. He was singing under his breath while you drove to a fast food place just outside of the city. You could faintly smell his cologne, and periodically peeked over at him while he scrolled through his phone and gently bopped his head along to the music and chatting with you. Despite his dark clothes he chose to wear to the bar for your birthday, he looked... soft. Unbeknownst to you, he was catching glances at you, too. "We're going through the drive thru, by the way. I don't feel like going inside," you stated, pulling to the side of the restaurant. "But how am I gonna see the menu?" Beomgyu asked with a pout. You shrugged. "Figure it out. This was your idea." "Alright," was the only warning you got before you felt a sudden pain in your leg. His genius solution was to climb over you in the driver's seat to get a better view of his options, and to speak into the microphone to the worker. You wanted to push him off to alleviate the pressure from his elbow in your thigh, but decided not to cause a ruckus. At least, not while he was in the middle of ordering. After he was done, Beomgyu offered an apology in the form of paying for both of your meals, and you sat in the parking lot talking and losing track of time. Eventually, your friends called, too drunk to be mad that you left your own birthday get together, and you drove your new friend home, making sure to tell that next time, he was driving.

Kang Taehyun: You didn't know it at the time, but he had his eyes on you from the moment you set foot in the door. It wasn't typical for you to go out by yourself, but getting over a nasty situationship led you to act in plenty of ways you normally wouldn't. You weren't out looking for love, or even much excitement, but striking up conversation with the bartender was far better than continuing your recent trend of rotting away on your couch. Her brown eyes adorned a kind smile as she explained her favorite drink, her voice carrying over the music on the far end of the bar. You agreed to try the concoction she prepared, instructing her to put the bill on your tab. With that, she left you with your drink, freeing up your attention to direct it towards someone across the room. Despite his relatively small frame and dark clothes, you could see the silhouette of arms and shoulders one could only attribute to working out, and a cutting-edge jawline to match. As you sipped your drink, you swear you catch him looking your way, but you knew better than to let yourself be hopeful. He leans over to a friend, spoke in his ear, and then walked out of sight. You sat for a while longer, feeling the energy in the room and people watching. As you turned to set your now empty glass on the counter, you feel a presence next to you. It was an admittedly handsome man, but not the one you had your eye on from before. "You out by yourself, gorgeous? Let me buy you something." You could smell the alcohol laced in his breath, and whatever it was was strong. "Ah, no thanks, I was just about to head out," you explained, already hearing a voice in the back of your head warning you he wasn't going to let you get away so easily, and you were proven right as he slipped an arm around your waist. "Don't be like that. One more drink won't kill you," he cooed at you with a patronizing tone, triggering a shiver from your brain, down your back, and to your hand that was instinctively grabbing for your keys for protection. This wasn't your first time with an unpleasant man, but never had you felt someone grab at you. It was sickening. As you attempted to talk your way out of the situation, you hear a voice coming from behind the handsy guy. "Where are you going with my girlfriend?" And there he was. The beautiful stranger from across the room. His arms were much larger up close, but his blank stare was more intimidating than any menacing look he could have mustered up. You were so focused on his sudden appearance, it took more than a second to even recognize the words he just said, but it seemed the persistent asshole realized his mistake right away. Practically throwing you at your "boyfriend," he slurred out a cocky apology with his hands up in defense. "Sorry man, she didn't mention any boyfriend to me." "Didn't really give me a chance to, man," you shot back, confidence suddenly surging now that you were in good hands. Your retort earned a small chuckle from your savior as the snake slithered back into the darkness of the dancefloor. Only then did you let a sigh of relief out. "Thank you so much, um..." "Taehyun." Finally being able to put a name to his gorgeous face brought a smile to yours. "Nice to meet you Taehyun, or should I call you my boyfriend?" And both of you laughed, ending the night on a more positive note than what could have been. He ended up walking you to your car, and leaving you his number in case you needed any more pretend boyfriend services.

Huening Kai: There wasn't a chance in hell you could convince Huening Kai to go out with you. He adored you more than anything, but he much preferred his Saturday nights spent lounging on the couch with pizza less than an arm's length away. Being the cuddly homebodies you are, this was what most of your days off consisted of, a date of sorts you typically were happy to entertain, but your childhood friend invited a group to go out to celebrate getting a long-awaited promotion at work. If it was anyone else asking you may have turned it down, especially since your boyfriend was uncomfortable with being out so late, but they meant the world to you and practically begged. "Keys...phone...wallet..." you filtered through your mental checklist as you heard your friend's car pull up outside. "Okay, Kai, I gotta go!" You called out. When you walked past the TV in the living room, he stopped you to say goodbye, wrapping you in a warm hug with a content yet hesitant smile. "If anything happens, call me, okay? But have fun, too," he reassured you before letting you go. Kai was far from being the protective type, but because you hardly went out, and much less so for drinking and partying, his worries were prevalent in his words and facial expression. It was your turn to reassure him with a big smile that matched his. "I promise I'll be safe." A short honk from outside told you it was time to go, and Kai snuck a in a bashful compliment and one last squeeze of a hug before watching you walk to your friend, driving off into the night.

*** Your friends were having a blast. They were dancing and drunkenly carrying on, and took your word that you were doing okay too. Truth be told, however, the lights were getting to be too bright, the volume of the room was growing far past a roar, and your body was crawling with the tingly feeling. You were no stranger to having drinks, but the congested environment triggered the shut off switch in your brain. Dialing your boyfriend's number and uttering just his name alone felt as strenuous as moving a mountain would be, but it was all he needed to hear before bolting out the door to get you home. Huening Kai didn't need any words from you. He stayed on the phone and comforted you the entire drive over, and wasted no time in finding you by the bar, throwing an arm around you, and leading you towards the door. The crisp fresh air of the night immediately helped to bring you back to reality as Kai helped you into the car and did grounding and breathing exercises with you. Once you became more present back at home in the comfort of your own bed with Kai next to you, you reached out for his hand and gave it a thankful squeeze. Words still failed you, but the gentle kiss on your forehead in response told you he understood completely.

[circeyoru]

Hi,

I love your writing a lot! It's really creative and life like, great job!

I have a very embarrassing question: is making a blog on tumblr easy to do? I'm trying to set my own up on my account for writing and I've read and watched videos on how to do it but I'm still unsure about going about without messing somewhere.

I know this is random question but I just don't know who to ask. You don't have to answer if you don't want to I completely understand.

Hello there~! Thank you for your praise and kind words!

No worries! It's not an embarrassing or random question. I'll try to answer with my own experience if that's okay with you. See if it helps you at all.

Making a blog on tumblr is easy. Super easy. Like I didn't even read or watch anything before I opened this one. Just takes an account and you to make it happen really. There's nothing to mess up because it's your blog and your blog means your style. There's no right or wrong in art so long as you think it's good then it is.

What I did was just set up my blog with whatever I had going at the time and started posting to see if anyone would visit my work. I experimented with the functions and stuff. That's all I did.

Before I opened this blog, however, I was a lurker on tumblr. I use it to read fanfics, headcanons, prompts, etc. All this is in another account now cause I like keep it separate (to not influence other readers and stuff). So in some sense, I have experience and know what or how I like my blog and posts to look like.

The question you should ask yourself before you make a blog would be: Will you put time into it or will you commit to it?

I'm not sure what or how you're using this blog to do, but you should expect some form of interaction and posts. For me I post my stories that I write on a whim and share my ideas for my fandoms and current obsessions. If you go back to what I posted in the beginning, they were works I wrote with my own ideas. Later on, there were requests or ideas sent in that I wrote for. Then asks on my work or something about myself or even these types of questions.

Point is, don't create your blog on a whim or just for a spontanous fun. Some reader might/will grow attach and want your work/response. There is commitment. I'm not saying to post 24/7, I'm just saying you need to know why you're making this blog to begin with. I take breaks and pause requests, even putting some of my longer series on hold so I don't get worn out to drop the story. My other friends on tumblr also take long breaks and map out their writing and posting schedule (way more organized than me, I'll admit). Either way, there's commitment.

One more. You will definitely have bad interactions or experiences, as much as I hate to name this here. Some irresponsible and selfish individuals might take advantage of you and try something. From the smallest rule breaking to the outright cursing sent to your inbox that demands an update from you. Be ready for those situations as well. I wish no one deals with those, I never even thought I'd have those as long as I'm nice, but you can't control others.

Still there are times where I feel so happy from this blog and the people that support me. Be it from anon thanking me for my work or asking more about my ideas, even giving gifts. A heart for my work or a comment is enough to make me smile. So it's not all bad. I say I continue even with all these bad things cause I think the positive ones outweight the negative. I've also made friends here, so I'm not dropping my blog anytime soon.

All in all. Ask yourself if you'll commit to this blog and if you really want to do it. Putting yourself on social media is a responsibility you take yourself.

I hope this helps in some way and you read this.

My Works: MASTERLIST

(sorry about the tags, it's cause I have no idea which side this anon came from so I'm doing both fandoms)

[thequeenofthewinter]

In the Midst of Winter has turned two.

Actually, it's my "writer-versary" in general. I hadn't written anything before this. (I didn't start posting until a few weeks later, but today's the day I started tapping away at those keys.)

730 days. 253,968 words. And well, now we're working on a sequel.

Two years ago, I opened up a Word document, and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Still don't quite know what I am doing if I am honest with myself, but in that time there have been a few things which I have discovered for myself. Idk, I am feeling cute, and I thought maybe I would share some of those thoughts here. There's nothing mind bending or earth shattering here. I'm just a girl with a keyboard who writes fanfiction.

In the time since I started writing, there are a lot of things which I have learned and even more which I will continue to learn in the future. The most important of these things is: you write for yourself and you write to have fun. If you are having fun and if writing makes you happy, that is the only thing which is important. Yes, yes. I know, I know. Comments and kudos are nice. I like them too, but they are not what keeps you going, not truly anyway. It's a love of a story, a love of your craft and what you're doing, and the joy you get from creating. Yes, but Winter, lack of engagement is a writer killer. I hear you, friend. I see you. I am also you. I do not deny that a lack of engagement can definitely feel demotivating. I'd be lying if I didn't say that sometimes I feel a wee bit sad when I see my story just kind of sits there. But it's more than that. The comments, no matter how nice they are, will not keep you going when you have no love of what you're doing and your heart isn't truly in it. (There. I said it.)

We make fanfiction because we love something so much that it moves us to words, and taking the spirit and soul out of it and turning it into a comment machine, won't keep you afloat forever. Nor will it give you quality writing.

Conversely, something else which I learned is that negative comments can go straight into the TRASH where they belong. You cannot please everyone, and there will always be someone who doesn't like your writing. Haters are going to hate, and if they don't like what you're writing, that does not mean anything is wrong with it. All writing is good writing, and there are many different styles. More than that, we improve over time. It's what all the writing blogs say, but it's true. I'd invite you right now to go look at my first posted chapter and then read the last one. There is a difference. If you're new out there, keep writing. Keep creating.

The last thing which I'd like to share is that community makes a huge difference. When I first started writing, it was me, myself, and I, and I know I have said this before, but was scared shitless to post anything at first. I was also (still am at times) a little nervous to interact with others because of what I write. However, I did it anyway, and I am so grateful. I posted my story, and eventually, I did join Tumblr. People found me, and I found people. Don't be afraid to reach out. (Be cautious, as always. This is the Internet, after all.) Find some people whose writing/art you like and reblog it, leave some notes, or comment on it. You'd be surprised about what turns up.

Most people I have interacted with here have been lovely and beautiful human beings and have been nothing but encouraging. They've both keyboard smashed with me in the good times and helped push me along the way when I have been in a rut. They've helped fuel me and supported me and if it weren't for them, who knows where I'd be now.

...And well, if you get a negative response...they weren't really worth talking to to begin with. (If you're looking for someone to talk to, here I am. Hi, I am Winter. It's nice to meet you.)

[abby118]

Hi abby. I don't know the specifics but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry people are shitty to you and send awful things, I don't know what's wrong with someone who does that. It says so much more about them than it ever will about you, because you're just existing in your corner of the internet and doing nice things, posting great stuff. I love your posts about Loki and the Thor movies. I don't know who wants to ruin a good thing for someone who doesn't do anything bad. And sending shitty anons and goddamn suicide baiting people is despicable. I hope you know you're great and they're messed up. I'm not *happy* happy that you're taking a break, because I'll miss your posts of course, but I'm happy you've made that decision to take care of yourself and your wellbeing. I hope you're well, resting and doing many nice things while you're away from here. Hugs! 💚💚💚

You're so kind, thank you💚🖤 Yea, I've been getting consistent hate ever since I returned to tumblr (I'd had a different blog before this one) but I ignore and delete most of it because they're just bullies. These people however, go out of their way to pretend to be me or my friends or just straight up tell me to kill myself. For those who know, no, I'm fairly certain it's not just them. And I've been open about my struggles, I mean, you do see who this blog is about so it's not that surprising that I'm not exactly the prime example of mental health. Using that against me is really telling about the intellect, or lack there of, of said people. That's all I'll say about that.

I'm still here, I might not be as active for a while but that doesn't mean they chased me off. I've been here for a half of my life at this point. As for doing nice things, I'm mostly focusing on my personal writing project, as always, which has been great. So no worries. I really appreciate your words <3

[lost-technology]

Hey. Please please please don't do anything drastic. I know it seems really dark right now, and it is. Yesterday was a horrible day for everyone and it will continue to be hard as we all process. But it's so so so important that you keep on living through that.

One half of this that is absolutely true is that you need to keep on living to spite them. You need to live longer than him and laugh when he's gone. Your life in itself is resistance and that's infinitely valuable.

The other half is that, no matter if you believe this or not right now, the world would be darker without you. I mean this really and truly. I don't know you in real life so I can't speak to that, but you bring a lot of positivity and unique views to the trigun fandom. Your reblogs are how I found a lot of the trigun blogs I now follow. Your comments and discussions on Rem make me happy to read, just grinning in real life because someone cares so much about a character that needed more time. It's simple stuff really, but that's what's important. Even people you've never spoken to like me are positively impacted by your life. And that increases tenfold for people who know you in real life that you do speak to and that love you and want you around no matter if they say it out loud or not.

Please keep living. You bring something unique to this world and you're a nice person, which goes for a lot these days. And if you can't believe that, live for spite, just for now, and maybe the other stuff can come later.

Please live. I'm sorry for being so long winded but you really do have a much bigger impact than you could ever see without someone telling you and I want you to know.

We can all get through this and you're not alone. Being together is how we can find strength. So stay and be together with us. Please.

I'm sorry for the long ask. Just want to make sure you at least hear this stuff. You're important.

I do need to get on the phone with my therapist. It's just... I feel like the hits just keep on coming, neverending in my life. This hope to have the first ever Madame President and to not have a man in office (again) who shows all signs of going full fascist - it is bringing up grief in such a way that it seems to be bleeding into my lingering grief over a family-loss I had last year. I'm feeling similar ways. Last year, my nephew died (adult, just on the cusp of 40, my partner's nephew). He was my best friend, my gaming buddy and we were the three amigos on holidays and whatnot. We had him up for almost an entire year on Covid-lockdown living with us. He got me through my partner's heart-attacks when he had those in previous years. Matt was the one who broke the news to me that there was going to be a new Trigun anime because he knew I basically lived and breathed Trigun back in the day and still counted Vash as my personal hero. And then, in January '23, he was gone - cause of death unknown, probably his heart giving out - because he had some health issues. I basically had to go through that. I've been feeling like I've just gotten to pulling myself out of the muck of that, was just starting to feel better (with some random meloncholy still hitting me), and now I'm running into yet another big thing that's making me think "What is life even for?" - There's no justice here. I have no power. There is no rhyme or reason. I also lost a couple of aunts during Covid times, both eldery - one to the disease itself, another through something unrelated, both in 2021. I wasn't as close to them anymore, but it hurt. I had to go into inpatient psychiatric in 2021 because some misunderstandings, a huge fight, a dogpiling (of me) and a public tumblr callout post in one small niche area of the She-Ra fandom just made me lose it. I was accused of plagerism (not true. There was a misunderstanding with someone regarding idea-exchange and what I was allowed use in roleplays on a small roleplay discord. I did legit read things wrong, but it's not like I ganked someone's ideas for a publically available fanfic or was trying to "steal their characters" like they whined to everyone in the fandom about), but because anyone accuses of that, immedately everyone else will side with them and not even look further into it, I was suddenly losing friends - I freaked out, myself and got to harassing some people in a defensive snarl - and then some asshole had to take it off the discords and make it public, which meant I was shunned by an entire fandom and was basically told that I was human garbage and believed it. I did something untoward to myself and had a little hospital stay. The person who intervened to save my life was that now-deceased nephew. And so, I've just been going through hit after hit, some of it being hangover from "We all got crazy under Trump and under Trump's attempts to get back into power" and now... that's a thing again... I am also on Social Security / Disability and am worried about my future. I worked very hard to get it and it might go away. My partner was on the cusp of getting it until they raised the retirement age and who knows he might not get it. We might die freezing under a bridge, I don't know. There is always the question of "Well, now or later?" that looms in the mind. "Murdered by the State or go on my own terms?" I want to be brave like Vash and Rem, but they are fiction and I don't know if I am capable of their strength of heart. Thank you for talking to me.

[turtlecleric]

assumption - others have said in need of a hug (yes true) but also,

may not have been praised in the way that you deserved growing up and instead others tried to dim your light because they were envious or wanted to see you fail (->im here to tell you they suck ass. you're everything and more; skilled; determined; worthy; and i love you so so much and i am so so proud of you)

Did you know that I would die for you? Did you know that I love you so goddamn much? Did you?

This is way too much personal info that no one actually cares to know, probably, but. I'm sort of avoiding work on purpose at the moment and I'm having a really rough day. Who needs therapy when you have asks on Tumblr to rant in? (I'm joking, to be clear. Actual therapy is so valuable and important if you manage to find a competent professional who clicks well with you. The only reason I stopped going is because of Covid, time, and money.)

Warning: VERY long vent ahead, please do not feel obligated to read or respond

My dad was really good about praising me in ways that felt genuine, actually, though that made the times he /was/ upset with me all that much worse. My dad isn't perfect, and he's done some things and said some things that I'll never forgive, that I'll never be able to forget, but I would also do anything for him. I know he's there for me when I need it, I know he'll answer when I call, I know that he actually cares about me. He and maybe like two cousins are the only family I would never be able to cut off.

My mom... I guess it was just sort of the baseline bare minimum expectation that I would do things well, so when I /was/ praised it was just like... oh, good job sweetie! Proud of you! But it didn't feel... I don't know how to describe why but... I don't know. Now, when people tell me I do things well I always have that voice in my head that's like "they're just being nice, they don't actually think it's all that great, they expected you to do a much better job than this, actually, why did you even bother sharing? Why did you think this was something to be proud of?" I read way too far into things, interpreting neutral reactions, or even positive reactions that aren't as enthusiastic as I might have hoped for, as proof that people are simply being nice and don't really like what I do or make or say all that much. I always get stuck in this mindset that I'm not allowed to create mediocre content, like it all has to be Excellent or else it's Terrible.

I also remember in high school, posting some drawings on Facebook that I was really proud of. Two drawings, one with hands in chains and cut up and the other with healed hands glowing with holy light and cradling a cross. It was supposed to show the difference between life without God and life with God (I was... VERY religious as a teenager. I am now agnostic.), but she saw the first picture and freaked out, super pissed, yelling at me to take it down, to not embarrass her like that, because people were going to see that and think I was abused or depressed or something (haha... me? Depressed? Nahhhhh). And that was the moment when I knew I could never ever ever share anything even remotely dark with her, that if I ever were to express something that indicated I was anything other than good and happy and perfect then she would react similarly. She's also very judgemental regarding mental health, often made comments about how "people who are/do x are sick, there's just something wrong with them, make sure you stay away from people like that" while I'm sitting on the couch like... oof. That's me. So all my venting went to Tumblr where she couldn't see, and even now I mostly only vent on Tumblr and through writing. I have many wonderful friends that would gladly allow me to vent to them (I love you all so much I love you I love you I love you, thank you for being so kind), but I simply Cannot. I've had a friend before where it felt like all they did was complain, they were always so goddamn negative, and it became a chore to talk to them. I started to get angry every time they said or did something defeatist, I stopped enjoying talking or hanging out with them, and I refuse to be that person. Even if I'm told over and over that I don't come across that way, I'm so terrified of it that when I think about reaching out I start to think of that friend and about how I shouldn't bother people and I panic. Unless I've gotten to the point where I truly believe that nothing I do or say will ruin the friendship, then it's really hard to push through that fear. But that's so much harder than it used to be because I /did/ lose a friend that I thought I would have literally for the rest of my life, I was so 100% confident that we would be 80 years old still hanging out with each other and goofing around, so sure we could go through anything together and stay friends, I knew in my heart and soul that we would be friends until we died, and I was wrong. I was wrong. I also had a different friend who was always there for me, always praised me, always listened to me when I needed it and told me kind things and made sure I felt welcome and loved and viewed positively, and then he fucking assaulted me one night when he thought I was asleep.

Anyway. When I /did/ fail at things growing up, it was either punished more severely than necessary or straight up laughed at. Mom was very hot and cold, too, you could never tell what kind of mood she was going to be in that day. (She is still like this. It's well known in my family that you never know which version of her you're going to get.) Things are fine one moment and then suddenly I'm in trouble for something I didn't even realize I did wrong (like with the drawings), so I'm just. Terrified of not doing well enough at things, of disappointing people, of people being annoyed with me or upset with me over something I didn't even realize was rude or mean or wrong to begin with.

"Don't overstay your welcome; don't bother people" was pounded into my head. I can't express how often I start to say or type something and then think, "No one cares. Stop bothering people. You're being too much, you're being annoying, they're tired of you, just keep it to yourself." I'm working on it but. Yeah. Half the time I still just stop talking or backspace and stay quiet. Even typing this, I'm like... you should delete this. You're basically just begging for attention, and if anyone says anything about this to you then it'll only be because they felt obligated to and they're going to start seeing you as a whiny, pathetic, manipulative person, and they're going to get tired of you and roll their eyes every time you say anything, even if it's not you venting, or they'll see this and think about how stupid or weird it is for you to put this information out on the internet, and even this sentence right here is proof that they'd be right because you're aware of all these thoughts and you're still doing it.

But then another part of me thinks that if I can't even vent on my own blog on a post that literally no one is required to read that is also hidden under a readmore and clearly states that it's a vent post, then where /can/ I vent? And if someone else posted this, would I be this harsh on them? And what's so wrong with seeking attention and comfort? Why is that unforgivable in yourself but admirable in others? Why are you crying at work? Why aren't you doing your job? Why aren't you better? Why aren't you better?

[lesbianspeedy]

Connor has called Ollie solely "dad" since Quiver why is he calling him "Ollie" now 😭😭😭

This is mean but I laughed out loud when Connor said Tim was the first person he talked about when he was figuring out being ace years ago. Lol. Lmao even. Tumblr really gaslit that poor writer into thinking Connor and Tim had an actual friendship with all their clamoring about him being with the wrong Bat huh. "Where were you?" GEE I didn't know you had to give daily updates to that one kid you teamed up a few times and had some friendly banter with. I love queer solidarity and the whole thing about us finding each other before we even know we're queer but. NO Connor would not have talks about his sexuality with Tim. Cmooooon you're telling me the first person he'd talk to about being ace wouldn't be Kyle "you can tell me if you're gay, Connor" Rayner?

At least that "this is just another thing me and Ollie don't have in common" anxiety is something already established. Like, that's basically the same thing he says to Roy when Roy takes him to that strip club even if it's an issue by Winick (do you ever stop to think about how unintentionally well laid out Connor being ace is and lose your mind a little bit?)

I'm just. Really sad about how Ollie and Connor's relationship is being presented to this new generation of readers. It's like we regressed to the time Ollie was dead, ya know? And I don't like Connor solely for his relationship with his dad, I want him to be a character on his own. But I can't help but being saddened by how he is losing his relationship with everyone that matters. For better or for worse, at least the new GA series is gonna have him interacting with his family (but what about Kyle, Eddie, Jansen and Moonday, ya know?)

The thing is that the story is good and I like its message. It just... Could be with any other character

im tempted to post this without an "answer" because its really well laid out and deserves to be a post on it's own. but i just rlly like ur points and want to interact with them so.

i think there were a few times between quiver and now where he interchangebly used dad and ollie but i get what you're saying, referring to him like hes estranged still was odd.

i totally agree, the idea of queer solidarity is important and should be shown, but i think this was a weird choice to go with. i think the most intimate (from my memory, i havent reread connor's run in a while) question connor ever asked tim was whether batman was his dad (at that time the answer was still no, as jack hadn't been killed yet). and that was only asked because connor was still his charmingly-awful-at-secret-identities-self. the part of their limited friendship that was interesting was the dynamic of new-sidekick-legacy meets new-main-legacy (for lack of a better descriptor), both struggling to uphold what they thought was expected of them. they never got to really advance from that stage of knowing each other to being at a place where they are friends out of costume, let alone discuss their SEXUALITIES.

i agree that the not being in common thing was a nice nod to past character complexities, though it felt slightly like it was the writer genuinely believing that to be true, and not just a rehash of connor's complicated feelings.

i know, its a weird stage we're at now, the resistence to fully accepting the connor that came from the end of his green arrow run, not just the beginning of it. by the end he had come to peace with being green arrow, and not being his father but that being okay. and that's not to say this is all the current writers fault (though williamson has done absolutely no favours with his writing), as winick and krul absolutely demolished any character connor had for their angst and whatever. (remember when connor aggressively yelled at mia for complaining about being stalked by zatanna without being told? or when after being turned into plastic and losing his memories he then decided he hated buddhism and oliver?). (not to mention the seperation from eddie jansen moonday kyle and. despite all of this complaining. tim cass and steph. winick set this precident and i will never forgive him)

i agree, it had good framework, and it couldve been a much more cohesive story if they. had just not used this friendship.

[mrs-monaghan]

the way this fandom have trouble with ANYTHING jimin related is sickening. First, the obvious mistreatment with all of jm's releases. Then, we have "ot7s" accusing focused jimin accs of being solos. When jm's fanbases organizes streaming parties and recomebacks, its hell on twitter. Now, that person who was the guide for the jimin tour on that harry potter place is being accused of being a tae anti. Why the hell people started to search her tweets about tae in the first place, even tho she has the little seven on her dn? Just because she saw jm and said he is the most precious human being? Btw, her tweets about tae werent problematic at all. She just metioned things that TAE DID, like his paris date with jennie. Some "ot7" started to say she was tae anti and boom, people believed it and taes solos started to send death threats to the poor girl. Just because she was saying that we should normalize the members being treated as the grown man they r, men that can make their own decisions. ADULT decisions. If she had been a guide to any other member, i wonder, would she receive this hate?

What the fuck is wrong with this fandom. Why, even the "ot7", have such a big problem with jimin? I really dont get it. I dont think its a exaggeration anymore when we say that the only real ot7s r the ones that have jimin as bias. When we see fake ot7, always is someone who have other members as bias, and that shades jimin. On the other hand, more and more we have jimin biased army becoming solos because of all this hate he receives. And i dont judge them. I mean, i dont like solos, but i can understand the urge to defende jimin of everything and everyone, because, in the reality, we can't even trust the people on our own fandom. This solo bts era is a mess, and i'm so sick of all of this. I'm happy members r happy discovering who they r as individuals, and i'm loving what they r showing to us. But i'm afraid this fandom is worse and worse everyday.

I remember when this lady got attacked. Best believe me and my friends were right there backing her up among other people who were doing the same. She got many DMs all telling her to kill herself simply because she said V is an adult and can smoke if he wants to. Their real issue was that she met Jimin and praised him for being the beautiful, kind human that he is.

This is why this discord is important. More people need supporters in their corner. When 50 tkkrs are attacking you it can be overwhelming and that's why people leave twitter. But if you have other people fighting them off and encouraging you to stay and block them, it can make someone feel better about having people in their corner.

This girl had back up and she's strong so she stayed. The vermin are the scam of the earth. And I for one I'm done watching them ran havoc and get away with it. My friends and I have been fighting them for months and we will continue to do so with or without people's support.

Of course it would be nice if more people joined us but if you let these big tumblrs get in your head just because, then things will continue like they have been and what good has that done? You can yap about Jimin abuse all day. You can shout at the rooftops about JK being used as a shipping tool by tkkrs. You can cry all day about Jkkrs getting attacked and ran out. And u can complain about ot7 accounts being tkkrs that allow Jimin to get dragged. But if you're not doing anything about it then what good does that do?

For everyone who has something to say about what we are doing; If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. You can deal with things your way, that's fine. But if u don't want to join the fight then keep it moving. If you don't want anything to do with this then just, let, us, be.

Anyway anon. Chapter 2 has been a fucking mess. Makes me wonder what will happen when all of the Tannies enlist and the fandom is left without supervision. Then what?

Discord still here. All welcome.

[yuseirra]

Oh no... I am so sorry for annoying you with my ask about comparisons between ONK characters with other anime characters, I truly did not mean to annoy you at any single way or bring any sort of trouble, I made this tumblr just to formally apologise I do am ashamed to talk on my main so I am a coward but still I just feel I am dumb while i read thus can't have a good judgment but... and I like reading from people I know is smart for sure and I won't bother you again with fandom discussions I will just support you correctly I truly hope you can forgive me, far from my intentions to bother you in any single way I am so so so sorry

Hello~ I thought of replying this to you privately, but since it's not an ask sent through your main according to what you say, I hope you don't mind me replying on public! I feel the need to clarify what exactly I felt as I was answering you on my end as well..!

Oh, no, I wasn't so annoyed earlier, I just... didn't think the answer was something that'd need to be asked because isn't it so obvious? If you've been watching and supporting me, you'd know what answer I'd give! XD The take you brought up was quite extreme... things usually don't tend to be so black and white, even if it's a manga, so the answer I could give felt like a given. I understand you need assurance sometimes, I've been there! Was that what you were looking for earlier? It's nice to see similar takes and get some confirmation! I appreciate you having trusted me to give out some good insight about a topic you're interested in. But.. at the same time, I didn't want to state that people are necessarily wrong about their takes on my answer. I've never seen them, so I can't be sure enough to judge, and I could only talk about my own feelings. I may not agree with it, but they're a different person and I don't know enough to disagree with something I haven't seen. And I don't think I'll try and see takes like those on purpose either... even if I came across it, I'd just pass through it...

I haven't been drawing Aqua so much lately, but if you'd like to see my takes on the character, my drawings would reflect my feelings! I believe I've still drawn a few! Never got to depict his warm sides as much as I'd like, recently, I've been drawing him very annoyed about his dad bc how the story's been but if things turn for the better in the manga, I'd love to try drawing him that way :)

It's my personality, you see, I don't really enjoy debates, my friends do though? If my friend was here, they'd have had a lot of fun with your ask. I just tend to prefer keeping to my thoughts most of the time (except for the things I'm really passionate about!) Some people may really enjoy getting these asks, I'm... it really depends on the question, but maybe I don't enjoy it as much as some others may. I might enjoy some really cute and uplifting type of things... but hearing Aqua being taken as a heartless person's kind of sad; I do care about that character too. He's a character that's been suffering, he shows signs of PTSD. When I first read the comic, I felt pretty immersed towards his emotions and I sympathized with him a lot.

I'd like to say I didn't intend for you to get all apologetic and nervous! Wow, you even made a blog to apologize? but you really didn't have to! It's very hard to convey the tone of voice through words, ain't it? I was being really casual with that reply earlier. If I could just read it over in my voice, you'd have heard it and figured this person isn't so mad about it. I was talking the way I usually do! So no worries, I'm glad I got to hear from you again and hopefully I could lift you of your feelings you're having. Um, I'd be happy if I could provide some good takes about this series you can agree with :) We may not be able to agree on everything, but I have a feeling you might end up enjoying how I view things regarding this series. Will you still support me despite having felt this nervous about it? I'd like that to happen! Hope you have a nice day!