#don't get me wrong. friends on tumblr you're lovely and you say really nice things about me <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[depoteka]

i really wish people could tell me in great detail how they perceive me exactly

[thedinosapien]

Theory: Brooklynn talked to N5 before leaving

The finale leaves many things implied or even confusing – in a way that makes it seem like something happened, especially between the scenes where Ben warns Brooklynn about the Bumpy's egg in the suitcase and the scene where B leaves. I invite you to rewatch the final scene, so it will be easier to understand what I say:

It is implied that Brooklynn had a conversation with the Nublar 5 off-screen, hidden from the viewer. The implications of the scene:

Ben is the one who talks about Bumpy's egg, so he obviously put himself in front of his friends. In the next scene, we see the position of each of the boys and girls: in front, Ben (who talked about the egg in the case), behind him, Darius and lastly, Kenji, then we have Sammy in ahead of Yasmina. Keep Brooklynn's reaction finding out about the egg in mind, I'll talk about it later.

Although Ben asks for the egg, the one who has it in his hands in the last scenes is Kenji. It's not Ben, who loves Bumpy more than anyone, or Darius, who is Brooklynn's best friend. She decided to give the egg to Kenji, proving that:

A. Maybe she trusts him more than Ben or Darius (understandable, since Pincus didn't do what she asked and D left her with the Allo, but it would be a bit strange for the scene, don't you agree? After all, Ben is Bumpy's dad);

B. There was more to the scene than what is revealed to the viewer. A conversation, probably.

The only one Brooklynn hadn't seen before in the season was Kenji, so she didn't know about the affection he has for the baby in the shell, that is, she had no reason to choose him, again indicating that there was an exchange of words between the characters.

There is two hypothesis about what must happened:

• Before giving the egg to Ben, he (Kenji) interrupted and demanded to receive it in Ben's place. It would be strange, since one way or another they would already have the egg in hands – in very safe hands –, changing only the fact that it would be with Ben Pincus;

• Or better, Brooklynn took advantage of the great opportunity she had to give essential explanations for the third season: Santos would kill them if she noticed any sign of betrayal on B's part, but with only one egg missing and the promise that none of her "ex-friends" would get in the way of the plan, everything would be safer for Santos. B just had to take advantage of the small gap to tell her friends WHAT she was doing, WHERE she was going and WHY she was going there – remember, the others don't know anything about Sayona's plans. Those informations will be essential for the characters!

It makes sense, doesn't it? After all, part of the arc of Kenji's relationship with the others is that "nobody tells me anything". Having him as the center of the scene, being, somehow, the priority of information, implies a development in his arc and a future advancement in the others' as well.

Note, in the beginning, Kon was the last, but in the end he is the one who is the most ahead of his friends. There really was something.

Now, the final detail that is totally related to Brooklynn's reaction to the egg: Throughout the season she never knew that Bumpy would have a baby. Her reaction reveals that she realized she lost a lot. It's exactly what Earnest said: "You're nothing special [...]. You're never happy with the good thing you've got, right in front of you." This reinforces that Brooklynn's story is about enjoying the things she already has, what she loses with her obsession and what she also has to gain from it. She needs to balance a lot of things in order to finally understand, by herself, what the truly wants and needs.

——————

A stupid theory I posted on reddit and thought it would be nice to post here. Tumblr must be more active, so activity ≃ interaction + addiction/correction for the theory.

I should stop thinking too much abt this show

If it turn out to be totally wrong, I hope you guys don't remember my post lol

[libbytwq]

hey can i be sappy for a moment, i feel like getting a thing off my chest (positive vent)

I love you all in the SMG4 Tumblr community so much. Y'all are absolutely epic and amazing and so creative and just. chill.

I've always been so nervous about joining set fandoms/fandom communities, cuz usually the community is huge and overwhelming, toxic, scary, crazy, and the idea of being in those communities and interacting with people in those communities and being in there not just to post a dingle fanart from it and dip, but to help be a big part of the community and whatnot sounded... overwhelming.

Then I slowly began getting super hyperfixated on SMG4, much more than I usually am, leading me to post more about it. Fanart, things I notice, goofy theories... more than just me saying a couple things i like about it, posting a fanart, then moving onto something else.

I started kinda just exploring the SMG4 tags and gradually, I began recognizing most of the people in this community more and more -- recognizing art styles, etc. I noticed how small a community it was.

And it was a mostly chill community. I wasn't really seeing much drama or questionable things, maybe some criticisms about the show or theories or whatever, but nobody was at each others throats. Plus, the fan OCs were super neat.

I had begun posting more and more SMG4 content, drawing fanart, their OCs, and the fact people were so just... chill and welcoming about it was so nice. It wasn't nearly as scary -- we are all just vibing here. Most of the artists you look up to will probably see your work, and give it attention too.

It feels super strange to be considered an SMG4 Tumblr artist, having people literally enjoying the things I make and making things for me when they make things for SMG4 fanartists... its honestly super surreal. But so so exciting and euphoric.

Cuz yall are so awesome!! Yall make my day so bright. Yall are the best.

I'll be honest, when I first was slowly being a part of the SMG4 community -- sometime right after summer vacation began -- I had been dealing with some petty but difficult irl person issues.

I don't want to get into it too much, but I had basically messed up in a pretty bad way (enough to make me feel bad the moment I did it, but not enough that we couldn't move on and mature from it), and the people involved were hurt worse than I thought they were, and instead of trying to talk it out they resorted lying about being my friends for months before school ended, and over summer break, tried to cancel one of my Scratch account and drag my followers there into drama that they had no business being in, for the simple reason being "you don't deserve all that fame".

Despite their attempt at trying to cancel me not really working out very well, it very much affected me negatively and made me very very scared about using Scratch again. I still post projects there sometimes, but i felt weird when i do it. I felt like those people were watching my every move, waiting to try and drag me down again. It felt so strange and scary to feel like the people I once cared so deeply about are breathing down my neck, waiting for me to make another wrong move and add it to their proof of why I'm an awful person.

It sucks ass.

The SMG4 community here on Tumblr, despite none of you knowing I was going through anything at all, you all helped a lot. Just existing.

Being a welcoming community that I feel safe to be silly and normal in.

I've never been the best at expressing appreciation, but let me just say:

I think of you all so highly and I never want you to change.

Keep making silly art. Or fanfics. Or AUs. Or OCs. Or whatever you like doing in this tiny close-knit fandom.

Keep doing everything you're doing to make this community mean so much to me.

❤️❤️❤️

...this sounds like im leaving the community,, IM NOT I just wanted to get it off my chest cuz ive been experiencing the emotions™ yknow, sorry that its not like my regular posts lol, im not gonna post like this much LMAOOO

TL;DR: yall are fuckin awesome please keep being awesome forever and ever ily bye

[runawaymun]

so.. reading and looking at your fics and art kinda makes me wanna try my hand at some stuff too (they are just so beautiful and elicit so many feels), but. you seem so knowledgeable and familiar with tolkien/elves lore (and so does everyone else i've started reading in this community of elf-lovers on tumblr haha) and i'm most assuredly not. i don't get so many of the world-building allusions authors make about the history/culture/magic, which is easy enough to deal with when reading, but do you think i'd be able to write anything good with such limited understanding of the world i'm writing in? i'm not even confident enough for modern au's because idek that much about the character's relationships/connections with each other, y'know? but what do you think? would the holes i have or straight up inaccuracies rly weaken the story and interrupt the reader's connection to the world/character's, or could i still get by? tolkien's worldbuilding is so intimidating lol

Oh my goodness, this is such a sweet ask.

I'm really glad that you love my art and writing so much, and I consider it SUCH a huge compliment that it inspires you to make your own! That's what it's all about, honestly.

So first off I just want to address the anxiety around the lore-knowledge and the Tolkien fandom because listen listen listen, there are people of every level of knowledge creating art and fics here. Let me just say that when I first published And the Stars Shine the Same three years ago, I was mostly working off of film knowledge and some vague book knowledge, and I was petrified to post it because of how intimidating the Tolkien fandom seemed. I was so worried about getting this wrong and making mistakes -- so know that you're not alone in that, and it is a very common anxiety in this fandom. The thing is, when I posted that fic I found that people loved it, and that everyone was so nice, and really I have not had anybody (save maybe...one person off the top of my head) get very nitpicky about the lore/language/etc. Everybody else was very nice, loved the fic, and super receptive and friendly.

I promise you that there are so many lovely people in this fandom and that, while they're extremely knowledgeable they're also so friendly. Nearly everybody I know would be delighted if you came into their inbox and asked them a question about their specific area of interest with regards to the Silm and LOTR. There are amazing resources in this fandom, and everybody is very happy to help when asked. When I was getting started I mostly talked to friends, looked at other fanart (because honestly there is a LOT of information packed into how people portray characters in fanart for this fandom), and when I wasn't sure on something I just checked the wikis. I believe Tolkien Gateway is one of the best resources, though I also use The One Wiki to Rule Them All, and this is one of the best resources I've found for just a quick look at common Sindarin phrases, and for everything else I use Parf Edhellen which is an incredibly comprehensive dictionary for Tolkien's various elvish languages. And if you're not sure on something, just send a call out into the void because there are dozens of besties on Tumblr who are happy to offer suggestions for names or phrase translations. There's also so much information on Youtube.

I didn't even get around to reading the Silm and rereading LOTR until I felt like it. Honest to god I looked at the wikis and asked friends for most of the stuff I needed.

And I know how intimidating it can be to build your own story within Tolkien's world, but for me what I liked so much about his work is that--- while he is specific on some things, he's also very vague on others. There is a lot of room for interpretation and your own headcannons and worldbuilding. That was part of why I chose the historical spot I did for Stars and Boundless Sky, because it was sort of "dead space" so to speak with regards to Tolkien's own worldbuilding, and so I was able to play around and do my own thing without worrying too much about stepping all over lore.

But okay, all of that to say: yes you can write good stories without being super knowledgeable. Please believe me you can. You can write whatever you want, so long as you love it, and it is yours. If you have a story you want to tell in Tolkien's little legendarium then please, please do. Tolkien's legendarium is a mythology, and mythologies are meant to be retold and reinterpreted. Tolkien's canon is incredibly loosy-goosey. There are parts of unfinished tales where Christopher Tolkien wrote: "I really couldn't make sense of my dad's notes, so here's everything. Knock yourself out ig" (notably, "Of Galadriel and Celeborn").

And Peter Jackson was fairly faithful when it comes to the og trilogy. Like there are things that I take issue with that are pet peeves of mine, and I know that's the same for a lot of people as well. Everybody has their things they take umbrage with and things they like, but generally if that's your base for knowledge you're going to be just fine to start writing fic. If you decide you want to research more, then that's up to you and the story you are trying to tell! If you're working off of the Hobbit films, that's a little different, but in general the Hobbit fandom is pretty chill when it comes to that. I would suggest reading the book if you can find the time to. It's an easy read and short, and it is very, very different to the films.

With the LOTR books...I know a lot of people are book purists and that's okay, and a lot of people go "oh you really SHOULD read the books", but tbqh as a lover of both, I think the films do a good job of telling you the heart of the story (barring a few characters like...uh. Elrond, whom PJ absolutely butchers, but I digress sorry sorry). The books do add a lot and deepen the meaning for a lot of things, and flesh a lot of characters out (and they're just fun to read), but again... yes you can write good stories without being super knowledgeable. I will say that over and over again nonnie I am grabbing you by the shoulders and looking you dead in the eye: please write your story if you want to. Please do not be afraid to just give it a stab. If you find that your lack of knowledge is holding you back for some reason, just ask! So many people will be happy to answer your questions.

Fanfiction is for everybody. Tolkien is for everybody. You do not have to be the most incredible skilled writer or know the lore really well to be able to write it. Please believe me as a person who was scared to write for the Tolkien fandom and then fell in love: people really do not gatekeep much, and if they do they're assholes. I have met so many lovely, friendly, genuine people by creating stuff for this fandom. You will be okay.

So...ough this got long, sorry. But TLDR: Yes. You can write a good story. If you are worried about holes/the story/characterization getting weakened, try to find a beta reader. They're absolute life-savers. Barring that, start posting, find a friend who as insane about your blorbos as you are, and then share snippets and plot ideas with them and within that kind of community you can get a feel for what's working in your story and what isn't. All of my best friends I have made on here are people who read my fics and have been so helpful in offering suggestions.

There are many resources, everybody is friendly, it is not as scary as it looks. The most important thing is that you have fun. Write what you want to write. It doesn't have to be good. All that matters is that you enjoy it.

[orpiknight]

OrpiKnight's FAQ FAQ

For the Neil Gaiman Tumblr FAQ

GO S3 was announced! Will you be updating the FAQ still? Yep! :)

--- Who? Vel (blog OrpiKnight)

Why? I'm excited about Good Omens 2, I was looking through the Asks on Neil Gaiman's blog anyway, and I like having a constructive outlet when I'm going through so much information. And there were a lot of repeat questions. I mainly made it for me and my friends for reference, but then decided to go ahead and throw it out into the Tumblr void, too.

*Are a lot of these questions really frequently asked? Well, this started out being called a "QnA" doc because I was compiling the Asks. Then everyone kept calling it a "FAQ". So I rolled with it. It keeps up with the current Asks as much as possible, though. (I have no way of knowing how many times he gets asked some questions. That's for his inbox to know.)

Will you be actively updating it with new questions/answers? Yes. I update in batches now, every month or so. For my sanity. *When I update things, I usually put the new questions at the bottom of their section, even if they might fit next to something else in it better. This is just to make new ones easier to find. Later on I might reorganize them.

Can you put it in a Tumblr post? No. It's too much information, it can hang out on docs (which is 30+ pages). I'm pretty sure I would hit a word limit if I put it on here. Or break my dash. Or accidentally delete it. *You don't need a Google account to access it. I have tested this signed out on non-Chrome browsers. (I use Firefox btw)

You missed some Asks. Yeah... there is no way I could get all of them. I had to draw the line somewhere.

Some of the questions are strange. Don't I know it. Edit: But I do like to put in all sorts of questions. Sometimes there are things that don't even occur to me to ask that Neil says he gets constant questions about (like the ice cream/ice lolly). Sometimes there are things that I don't realize need clarifying (like "two consenting bicycle repairmen"). One person can ask a creatively specific question that other people are quietly wondering about. I also like the funny ones.

I found an error (typo/link not going to where it's supposed to/accidentally wrong info/etc.)?

But seriously, it's okay to message me to let me know. It's very helpful.

Can I have shared editing access to your document? No.

About the fanfiction thing... Please end my suffering. (And Neil Gaiman's) Edit: I should probably clarify that I do like fanfiction.

I have personal opinions. Please be nice to me.

Can you add or change this, that, or whatever? I work irl, am usually tired, and don't have much time to constantly edit every little thing. Unless you're Neil Gaiman himself asking, it's likely I'm just going to leave it how I organized it. And I mean that in the politest way possible. Speaking of, if you would like to help me out at all with things like bills, medical costs, and food— here's my: Venmo: @ajgvel Ko-fi page (It says you're giving me ducks on there! :D)

It's not expected of course. Regardless, much love to everyone, and thanks for making a space where we can all have fun together about something we enjoy. ♡

Find me on Bluesky: OrpiKnight

[ask-nijiro-nanase]

IMPORTANT MOD POST

TW: mentions of scu/cide, de/th threats, light homophobia, hate talk and generally harsh language and themes please read at your own discretion (this was hastily put together because I have work in like ten minutes please ignore spelling errors im stressed)

-

-

So this happened i guess, these are screenshots i took from the past few days of hate asks i have been receiving for the past week and a notification screenshot i got from around when i started receiving these, and a photo of an ask i got that I had sent to a friend joking about this person consistency of sending me a hate comment several times a day, every day. I made a strict rule for myself that id just delete hate asks and not let them bother me and I have been, at the start i simply deleted these asks and hoped this person (who i assume is the same person repeatedly sending in these using the anon feature) would get bored and leave me alone, which obviously they didn't /: i feel pretty crappy since i kept telling myself that i was just going to ignore and delete these anon asks over and over again but here i am, not ignoring them breaking my own rule, it's only been around five days of this which seems kinda pathetic ig at least it feels pathetic that i couldnt just ignore this person but i have been getting around anywhere from one to six asks a day like this depending on the day, when this first started i was getting a lot of them which I just deleted but as time has went on the asks have reduced to two or three a day but it hasnt stopped completely

over the time I have actually been receiving this I quickly noticed that these are baseless comments, something you could say to hate on pretty much anyone with a roleplay blog. There were no specifics, and also I don't use tumblr ver often so it's not like i really interact with people on here outside this blog, this person does not know me and I certainly don't know them i've kinda been stewing with my thoughts and overthinking on why I started receiving hat and maybe this is completely out there and a wild guess but this person could want attention on them, even if their anon they know that this post I'm making right now, is about them, or they might just want to start shit, honestly I could be completely off and maybe this person had some weird personal motive what do i know at this point???

with the time I've been giving myself thinking about this I have just gotten really in my head and I was very worried that maybe making a post and acknowledging this anon would almost be encouraging the behaviour? and kinda the only reason I'm actually talking about this now is because I'm going to be taking a small break, I am okay ofc, just think a small break would be good for me but this means I probably wont even be checking my ask box or really responding to any messages, comments, reblogs, I'm just going to step back for a little while and focus on other things in my life that need my attention Touching on a few topics from the last time this was an issue with a different blog, the character and I are minors, you're threatening a CHILD even if I wasn't under 18 these are still just horrible things to say to someone and I really really don't want this to be a common thing or a consistent issue because I like doing this, it's fun and I enjoy talking to people on here, anon or not, I'm sure a lot of the other people who have rp blogs do as well and people like this shouldn't ruin that for them, let people do what they want to do on here it isn't disrupting or hurting anything. I'm honestly just dumbfounded I guess to why this even happening? I don't thing I've done anything 'disgusting' 'gross' or otherwise wrong, i really don't want to turn anon off because I love talking to the really nice people who interact with me on anon and I don't want to ruin it for those incredibly kind people because of one person making some nasty comments

If the person who sent me those asks is reading this, please please know that this isn't the right way to get attention or feel better about anything, in general it does nothing good of any sort, it genuinely can hurt people and if you're doing it because you actually feel that way about roleplay blogs, just block those blogs it's really not that hard. Sending in hateful messages like that doesn't give you any sort of good attention, this is something serious and horrible to do and I pity you because something must have brought you to think this is just okay? normal? It's not it's pathetic and I hope that one day you can understand how much your words could affect the people around you. personally i like to think I'm not someone who can be super effected by words, especially online since I know people will be a lot harsher when hiding behind a screen, but to think you could've said this to someone who was genuinely really struggling with their mental health and could've taken your comments to heart is sickening, please reflect on yourself because this behaviour is not only childish but cruel.

--

and to anyone that sent in asks recently I'm super sorry I haven't been able to reply, I have a lot on my plate right now, super busy not only with mid-semester tests and projects coming up due but I have work on top of that and I really haven't found time to answer them, I quickly just wrote up this post so there are probably spelling errors but I'm way too burnt out to fix them right now have a good day and take care of yourself everyone I don't know when I plan on revisiting this blog but I shouldn't be away for too long, promise also sorry if this whole post is just me kind of rambling I just feel kinda lost and I don't even really know how to go about this, ive never done a rp blog before and i have never received hate on any of my blogs before i have no idea what im even doing at this point

[vanesycho]

hiya!! I'm not on tumblr much so idk if you'll remember me or see this but i stopped by randomly to thank you for writing your "chan is for the girls who" post and I saw your one for the others recently and just wanted to say how beautiful they all were and how appreciated they were.

i had a quick question for you, though: what's your favourite piece of work that you've written? or what's a piece of your own work you wish more people would read? I would love to give them a read sometime.

thanks! have a great day!!

hii thank you so much for your nice comment and your question. you're so kind🥹🤍

bf!jaehyun x gf!reader x roommate!jeno [nsfw] 2,6k

• I usually don't go back and read the smut fics I write because when I look at them they become cringe, but this was fun to write, it's a fic that I think I did a good job of even though I was still in the early stages of my blog.

jaehyun x reader [age gap, nsfw] 2,5k

• The second part of this fic was requested a lot and although I didn't think of doing it at first, the fic that came out after that was honestly beyond my expectations, honestly I like writing age gap, it's fun hehe🤭

friends to lovers with shotaro [fluff] 1,9k

• 'FLOP AHH FIC'. I had a lot of fun writing this but unfortunately it didn't get that much attention ;( there was no reason actually it was just nice to write and after I finished it I thought I did a really good job but judging by the notes, I could be wrong lol

seungcheol x reader [fluff] 1,1k

• A fic about the reader and her dad's coworker Seungcheol getting closer after her being forced to attend her father's business dinner.

Even though it's the second fic on my blog, it's still a fic that I think I did a good job on, is it rookie? Yes, but still, when I look at it, it's still one of the ones I think is good, even though it's my first time writing a fic.

bangchan x reader [fluff] 1k

• I wrote it on a night when I was having trouble sleeping and had nightmares every day. It may sound ridiculous, but that's why it has a special place in my heart. Bangchan is probably the one I feel the safest with out of all the idols, so I usually like to write fics with angst and light fluff about him.

friends to lovers with jeno [fluff] 2,8k

• Another fic that I had fun writing. I especially enjoyed the parts with Jaemin, he just gives off a vibe of a friend who could totally be a matchmaker.

seungcheol x reader [age gap, nsfw] 2,3k

• As I said, I like writing age gap. Instead of the bartender reader and Seungcheol, I actually first thought of this idea with Jaehyun. It had been rotting in my notes for a long time, and then I thought it would suit Seungcheol too, so I finally put the idea into writing.

camboy!san x reader [nsfw] 3,8k

• Honestly I had nothing in mind when I added this to kinktober. When I started writing it, things happened completely out of the blue and to be honest it was better than I expected. It was going to be a fic that used more toys because San was a camboy, but honestly I felt a bit embarrassed...idk why.

bangchan is for the girls who...

• A short headcanon that came to my mind at an unrelated moment and after writing it I said 'what did I just write?'

The reason I actually added this here is because of the reactions I got back from people. I can say that I was surprised after realizing how emotional and loving many people got. It just saddens me to see that some people really need love but don't get it, everyone deserves to be loved and valued.

It was a headcanon that took off when I least expected it, so thank you all so much for your support🥹🤍🤍🤍

yeah that's it..I hope to write better ones, if you have any other my fics that you enjoy reading, you can write them too, thank youuu🫶🏻🫶🏻

[moenxs]

I hope you feel better! What sort of things do you feel are rampant in the rpc? Do you think they are things that are easy to improve?

oooh boy now THIS is definitely going under a read more because the yapping i'm about to do....

Let me start off by saying a lot of things "wrong" with the rpc are easy to improve as a whole but much harder to improve individually since really a lot of this comes down to individuals and a "vocal minority" in a sense.

I think there's a lot of underlying elitism as a whole in the rpc whether its purposeful or just a byproduct of existing on this site. And a lot of this also results in a very "cliquey" vibe that stretches across every fandom. Now I'm not saying that having a friend group that you tend to prioritize a bit is bad, we all do that, i mean going out of your way to exclude people that try to extend a conversation of interacting, especially if you happen to be mutuals with them.

And I get that OOC interactions can be a little rough especially when social interactions can be hard for people, but if that's the case, then why be mutuals with someone if you're either not going to reach out first, OR interact with them at all if THEY reach out first? Idk that whole thing is just frustrating to me and I think that it's something that definitely needs to be improved on as a whole.

This next thing is just a little more personal and to some people i might sound like I'm whining but it's genuinely an issue with roleplay as a whole and not really just on tumblr.

The topic of a strange aversion to female characters, and OCs. And particularly female OCs. I talked about this with a mutual briefly earlier and they helped me feel a little better about speaking up on this. To be blunt, it still sucks to be an OC writer on tumblr, especially if it happens to be a female OC (don't even get me started on female CANONS though lmao that's a whole other convo-) and especially if you're not really "popular" within the rpc already.

I quite literally have one of my blogs on a momentary hiatus because he was getting a little too much attention. Meanwhile it was nearly crickets here at one point, and I won't lie it does hurt quite a bit. But I'm not going to blame everyone entirely, people have their preferences and that's understandable.

As someone who is a cis woman, i started out on tumblr writing female OCs, and slowly when i found myself getting more comfortable writing male OCs I also found myself getting more consistent interactions. It felt like people were actually getting excited to write with me. And younger me was loving it! I didn't even realize anything was weird as I eventually transitioned over to just writing male OCs entirely for a time. Female OCs still existed on my blog but they were collecting dust.

It wasn't until recently (post 2020 ish) that i really dived back into my female characters and it was around that that I had started to notice the trend as well. I dedicated myself to female OCs in particular and I noticed a pretty steep decline in interactions as a whole. Yea, maybe you can say it was a coincidence until I started writing a male OC again and things steadily increased once again.

Also, I dearly love interacting with other people's OCs, wholeheartedly so. But who wouldn't want to interact with a canon character as well? Other OC writers are extremely welcoming, I've rarely found someone that actively writes OCs more often than not that's not sweet as can be (there are exceptions but i won't get into that).

I've noticed though that (not all obviously but it's definitely a chunk) a decent bit of the elitism that I mentioned before comes from these canon writers. The ones that are "popular" and are actually well known in the space, while most can be just as nice, there's that "vocal minority" that can easily leave quite a bad taste in your mouth.

Like i said, it's a pretty vocal minority. Most if not all of my mutuals that write canons are absolutely not in this category. But still there are some that-

this is going to sound so bad but i promise it's not it's just that i cannot find a better way to word this-

Make me as an OC writer, idk, feel lesser? Like if i'm not one of their close friends that also happens to write an OC it feels more like it's simply an obligation to try and write with me than it is a mutual "excitement" i guess.

I don't know, it's just that even with some mutuals, there's a lack of mutuality and sometimes it makes me wonder why we're even mutuals. Maybe that's just a bit of insecurity talking but honestly at this point it's just incredibly frustrating than it is disheartening anymore.

Like, I do not care how slow you are as a writer, I would just be happy with some sort of reciprocation OOC???? I don't know if that sounds entitled, I know people have busy lives but to see people boasting about ships or plots that theyve been talking about with other people when I've been trying actively to plot with them or even just converse with them is also now more frustrating than disheartening these days lol.

ANYWAYS HAHA

yea that sure was a yap session and a half, I don't know how many of you will make it to this point but if you did thank you so much for hearing me out and hopefully I didn't really offend anyone that badly at any point LMAO

[jettithink]

txt - a night out at the club

where the introverts somehow find themselves in the middle of a dance floor + cw: drinking/alcohol, a sprinkle of angst in taehyun's, dissociation/derealization in hyuka's, a little suggestive if you use your imagination, idk we're just having a good ol' time + this is my first writing i'm sharing on tumblr, so be nice and i'll write more + mood: Love On The Floor - NCT 127, Upper Side Dreamin' - Enhypen, bOss - OnlyOneOf

Choi Soobin: It definitely wasn't Soobin's idea to go out, but a few of your friends invited you to a new club that opened up not far from your apartment, and he just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time to get dragged along with. Aside from being shy, the loud music and mass of people was intimidating, and it took more than his courage alone to bring him out onto the floor where you were already dancing. He wasn't entirely uncomfortable though. A lot of his enjoyment came from standing on the sidelines, watching you. Soobin had a few girls approach him with drinks, but he respectfully declined. As you two made eye contact and smiled at each other, he knew in his heart who he really only had eyes for. "Soob, come on!" Though the place was loud already, your voice carried above everyone else's, and your hand was leading him to the friend group before he could even decline. But for you, he wouldn't put up much of a fight anyways. Thanks to the alcohol in his system, Soobin was swaying to the music without much thought, and the two of you soon found yourselves paying much more attention to each other rather than the people in your surroundings. You both swore up and down that you're just friends, yet you knew the heat on your face wasn't just from dancing. Things carried on this way for a while, and the second that Soobin broke away from the group, your friends hounded you to make a move. "Dude, are you even seeing how he's looking at you?" "He definitely likes you, just go for it!" "If you don't tell him how you feel, I will." A chorus of slurred words of encouragement pushed you to act only slightly out of character, and when Soobin returned to your posse, you once again grabbed his arm and led him to the dead center of the dance floor, catching a glimpse of your girls giving you thumbs ups and winks on you way there. Soobin's eyes lit up with surprise at your sudden decision to abandon the group. "Will your friends be okay by themselves?" he questioned, leaning in close to your ear, but it would be a lie to say he wasn't just looking for an opportunity to get close to you. You two had been friends for a long time, and with the way his eyes grazed over every inch of your face, you could read his intentions easily. To know Soobin was to know his intent through what was unspoken, and those silent inclinations were what led you to wrap an arm around his neck and speak back to him, "I think we're the ones to be worried about," before mutually meeting each other's lips amidst the heat of the moment and the bodies moving around you to the intoxicating beats.

Choi Yeonjun: Celebrating your two year anniversary was a highly anticipated event. Knowing your it boy boyfriend, Yeonjun would be dressed no less than to the nines, and because you loved to match his competitive spirit, it was only courtesy to try and outdo him. At the end of the day, however, you both spared no efforts in hyping each other up and letting you confidences shine. "Damn, baby, you want me to spend all night keeping everyone off of you?" Staring would be too light of a word to describe the way you looked at him. He opted for a black ensemble to let his freshly dyed hair and accessories shine, and despite seeing him nearly every day, he always found new ways to leave you speechless. He chuckled at your rhetorical question. "You're one to talk, look at you! Absolutely stunning," Yeonjun took every inch of you in as he bit his lip to hold back a subconscious smirk. He grabbed your hand and led you to the car, holding it open for you just to have the opportunity to leave a little tap on your butt. The ride to the private club wasn't long, but gave the two of you plenty of time to share the aux, sing together and steal quick kisses at red lights. To celebrate your anniversary, Yeonjun opted to take you to an exclusive speakeasy-inspired club for a quiet dinner and a live jazz ensemble, which could be heard even from the outside as you pulled up to the valet. Lights were warm and low voices were buzzing around you as you were ushered to a table to dine on the most delectable cuisine. Being the two lovebirds that you are, you fed each other bites and took pictures, enjoying a tame evening. That is, until the wine started to kick in. Yeonjun, of course, wanted to dance. The trumpet player by the bar was someone you both knew well, and your boyfriend was pursing his lips and swaying his hips to the music, grooving along with the melody coming from the horn. You were content standing off to the side cheering him on, but Yeonjun approached you before long with his hand reaching out to you. "May I have this dance, beautiful?" He asked humbly, raising an eyebrow and giving his best smolder look, a look you could never in a million years say no to. With a buzzed smile, you accepted his hand in yours and let him lead you to the open dance floor, giving the trumpet player a look. With that, the tune changed. A gorgeous jazzy melody played, one you recognized as a rendition of one of your favorites. Yeonjun held you close, rocking you back and forth in a slow dance. His hands rested gently on your waist, letting the feel of the song and the wine in his system guide you around the dance floor. As he spun you around, your eyes caught glimpses of older couples dancing with you, and you couldn't help but think of how beautiful a long life together with your boyfriend would be. Two years down, with forever to go.

Choi Beomgyu: "I have a funny idea... let's leave." This was your first time meeting Beomgyu. You had heard plenty about him from mutual friends, who you suspected were trying to set you up, and now he was walking into the bar with two friends you both knew. The introductions were pleasant, and after a few drinks, you two hit it off extremely well. He had you laughing the entire time, and seemed to never run out of energy no matter how much your group was dancing. "What? But it's my own birthday party," you questioned in between giggles. "Don't you think people will notice if I'm gone?" And though you were playing hesitant, in all honesty you were no where near opposed to getting out with him. Beomgyu leaned closer, taking his plan far too seriously. "That's why we have to sneak out." He peeked his head up, eyeballing your friends who were still hanging by the bar while the two of you had naturally made your way close to the exit. "Look, we have a chance. Let's go!" Before you had even fully agreed, his large hand was grasping yours, leading you into the night. ***

Driving with Beomgyu was different from drinking with him. He was still himself, but he was more relaxed. Content. You were taking turns picking songs, and though his music taste wasn't what you would normally listen to, you found plenty more songs to add to your playlists. He was singing under his breath while you drove to a fast food place just outside of the city. You could faintly smell his cologne, and periodically peeked over at him while he scrolled through his phone and gently bopped his head along to the music and chatting with you. Despite his dark clothes he chose to wear to the bar for your birthday, he looked... soft. Unbeknownst to you, he was catching glances at you, too. "We're going through the drive thru, by the way. I don't feel like going inside," you stated, pulling to the side of the restaurant. "But how am I gonna see the menu?" Beomgyu asked with a pout. You shrugged. "Figure it out. This was your idea." "Alright," was the only warning you got before you felt a sudden pain in your leg. His genius solution was to climb over you in the driver's seat to get a better view of his options, and to speak into the microphone to the worker. You wanted to push him off to alleviate the pressure from his elbow in your thigh, but decided not to cause a ruckus. At least, not while he was in the middle of ordering. After he was done, Beomgyu offered an apology in the form of paying for both of your meals, and you sat in the parking lot talking and losing track of time. Eventually, your friends called, too drunk to be mad that you left your own birthday get together, and you drove your new friend home, making sure to tell that next time, he was driving.

Kang Taehyun: You didn't know it at the time, but he had his eyes on you from the moment you set foot in the door. It wasn't typical for you to go out by yourself, but getting over a nasty situationship led you to act in plenty of ways you normally wouldn't. You weren't out looking for love, or even much excitement, but striking up conversation with the bartender was far better than continuing your recent trend of rotting away on your couch. Her brown eyes adorned a kind smile as she explained her favorite drink, her voice carrying over the music on the far end of the bar. You agreed to try the concoction she prepared, instructing her to put the bill on your tab. With that, she left you with your drink, freeing up your attention to direct it towards someone across the room. Despite his relatively small frame and dark clothes, you could see the silhouette of arms and shoulders one could only attribute to working out, and a cutting-edge jawline to match. As you sipped your drink, you swear you catch him looking your way, but you knew better than to let yourself be hopeful. He leans over to a friend, spoke in his ear, and then walked out of sight. You sat for a while longer, feeling the energy in the room and people watching. As you turned to set your now empty glass on the counter, you feel a presence next to you. It was an admittedly handsome man, but not the one you had your eye on from before. "You out by yourself, gorgeous? Let me buy you something." You could smell the alcohol laced in his breath, and whatever it was was strong. "Ah, no thanks, I was just about to head out," you explained, already hearing a voice in the back of your head warning you he wasn't going to let you get away so easily, and you were proven right as he slipped an arm around your waist. "Don't be like that. One more drink won't kill you," he cooed at you with a patronizing tone, triggering a shiver from your brain, down your back, and to your hand that was instinctively grabbing for your keys for protection. This wasn't your first time with an unpleasant man, but never had you felt someone grab at you. It was sickening. As you attempted to talk your way out of the situation, you hear a voice coming from behind the handsy guy. "Where are you going with my girlfriend?" And there he was. The beautiful stranger from across the room. His arms were much larger up close, but his blank stare was more intimidating than any menacing look he could have mustered up. You were so focused on his sudden appearance, it took more than a second to even recognize the words he just said, but it seemed the persistent asshole realized his mistake right away. Practically throwing you at your "boyfriend," he slurred out a cocky apology with his hands up in defense. "Sorry man, she didn't mention any boyfriend to me." "Didn't really give me a chance to, man," you shot back, confidence suddenly surging now that you were in good hands. Your retort earned a small chuckle from your savior as the snake slithered back into the darkness of the dancefloor. Only then did you let a sigh of relief out. "Thank you so much, um..." "Taehyun." Finally being able to put a name to his gorgeous face brought a smile to yours. "Nice to meet you Taehyun, or should I call you my boyfriend?" And both of you laughed, ending the night on a more positive note than what could have been. He ended up walking you to your car, and leaving you his number in case you needed any more pretend boyfriend services.

Huening Kai: There wasn't a chance in hell you could convince Huening Kai to go out with you. He adored you more than anything, but he much preferred his Saturday nights spent lounging on the couch with pizza less than an arm's length away. Being the cuddly homebodies you are, this was what most of your days off consisted of, a date of sorts you typically were happy to entertain, but your childhood friend invited a group to go out to celebrate getting a long-awaited promotion at work. If it was anyone else asking you may have turned it down, especially since your boyfriend was uncomfortable with being out so late, but they meant the world to you and practically begged. "Keys...phone...wallet..." you filtered through your mental checklist as you heard your friend's car pull up outside. "Okay, Kai, I gotta go!" You called out. When you walked past the TV in the living room, he stopped you to say goodbye, wrapping you in a warm hug with a content yet hesitant smile. "If anything happens, call me, okay? But have fun, too," he reassured you before letting you go. Kai was far from being the protective type, but because you hardly went out, and much less so for drinking and partying, his worries were prevalent in his words and facial expression. It was your turn to reassure him with a big smile that matched his. "I promise I'll be safe." A short honk from outside told you it was time to go, and Kai snuck a in a bashful compliment and one last squeeze of a hug before watching you walk to your friend, driving off into the night.

*** Your friends were having a blast. They were dancing and drunkenly carrying on, and took your word that you were doing okay too. Truth be told, however, the lights were getting to be too bright, the volume of the room was growing far past a roar, and your body was crawling with the tingly feeling. You were no stranger to having drinks, but the congested environment triggered the shut off switch in your brain. Dialing your boyfriend's number and uttering just his name alone felt as strenuous as moving a mountain would be, but it was all he needed to hear before bolting out the door to get you home. Huening Kai didn't need any words from you. He stayed on the phone and comforted you the entire drive over, and wasted no time in finding you by the bar, throwing an arm around you, and leading you towards the door. The crisp fresh air of the night immediately helped to bring you back to reality as Kai helped you into the car and did grounding and breathing exercises with you. Once you became more present back at home in the comfort of your own bed with Kai next to you, you reached out for his hand and gave it a thankful squeeze. Words still failed you, but the gentle kiss on your forehead in response told you he understood completely.

[wolpertinger-prince]

I'm full of woe. Vent below.

This morning I had this realization: my ex could've apologized for how they treated me any time they wanted throughout these last three years. I know this because when I had them blocked during the first year we'd stopped talking, they apparently saw this post I made saying I don't like this character that reminds me of them and that I hope said character dies. Their dumbass friend told me as much by throwing said post in my face as evidence that I need to tell my therapist about my "violent thoughts" (ergo, commit myself to psychiatric violence over a fictional demon owl that was created by Vivzipop).

So yeah, despite being blocked, I could tell they had access to at least my Tumblr and were keeping tabs on it, at least during the first year after we stopped talking. They probably still have access to it. At any point they could've taken advantage of this to shoot me a message saying they were sorry, yanno instead of stalking me. But they didn't want to, because they were never sorry and probably never will be. They probably think what they did to me for ten years was cute and funny of them.

The love-bombing, the emotional manipulation to get me to sympathize with them and think everything going wrong between us was my fault. Oh, and they were super mean to me during the first few years we knew each other, too. When we met irl for the first time and they stayed over at my house, they made fun of me in front of my mom. They made me roleplay one of my favorite characters at the time murdering a child despite my protests. Oh, but me "vaguing" them after they did things like that was the real problem, apparently. I did do some things wrong during our friendship, but I mostly apologized for those things. I never got an apology, a real apology, for anything they did.

I don't know why I stayed during those first few years, for the life of me.

I just - I don't know. I'm 29 years old and this like three and a half year-old beef is still at the front of my mind, weighing me down. My therapist doesn't know how to help me and neither do any of my friends. I feel so pathetic.

Kaylen - you're probably not reading this, but in case you are - you're really not a good person. You never were. Tell Aims they're a fucking hypocrite - for lurking at my posts and hating me over the past despite reprimanding me for lurking and being upset about the past - and have a nice life, asshole.

[circeyoru]

Hi,

I love your writing a lot! It's really creative and life like, great job!

I have a very embarrassing question: is making a blog on tumblr easy to do? I'm trying to set my own up on my account for writing and I've read and watched videos on how to do it but I'm still unsure about going about without messing somewhere.

I know this is random question but I just don't know who to ask. You don't have to answer if you don't want to I completely understand.

Hello there~! Thank you for your praise and kind words!

No worries! It's not an embarrassing or random question. I'll try to answer with my own experience if that's okay with you. See if it helps you at all.

Making a blog on tumblr is easy. Super easy. Like I didn't even read or watch anything before I opened this one. Just takes an account and you to make it happen really. There's nothing to mess up because it's your blog and your blog means your style. There's no right or wrong in art so long as you think it's good then it is.

What I did was just set up my blog with whatever I had going at the time and started posting to see if anyone would visit my work. I experimented with the functions and stuff. That's all I did.

Before I opened this blog, however, I was a lurker on tumblr. I use it to read fanfics, headcanons, prompts, etc. All this is in another account now cause I like keep it separate (to not influence other readers and stuff). So in some sense, I have experience and know what or how I like my blog and posts to look like.

The question you should ask yourself before you make a blog would be: Will you put time into it or will you commit to it?

I'm not sure what or how you're using this blog to do, but you should expect some form of interaction and posts. For me I post my stories that I write on a whim and share my ideas for my fandoms and current obsessions. If you go back to what I posted in the beginning, they were works I wrote with my own ideas. Later on, there were requests or ideas sent in that I wrote for. Then asks on my work or something about myself or even these types of questions.

Point is, don't create your blog on a whim or just for a spontanous fun. Some reader might/will grow attach and want your work/response. There is commitment. I'm not saying to post 24/7, I'm just saying you need to know why you're making this blog to begin with. I take breaks and pause requests, even putting some of my longer series on hold so I don't get worn out to drop the story. My other friends on tumblr also take long breaks and map out their writing and posting schedule (way more organized than me, I'll admit). Either way, there's commitment.

One more. You will definitely have bad interactions or experiences, as much as I hate to name this here. Some irresponsible and selfish individuals might take advantage of you and try something. From the smallest rule breaking to the outright cursing sent to your inbox that demands an update from you. Be ready for those situations as well. I wish no one deals with those, I never even thought I'd have those as long as I'm nice, but you can't control others.

Still there are times where I feel so happy from this blog and the people that support me. Be it from anon thanking me for my work or asking more about my ideas, even giving gifts. A heart for my work or a comment is enough to make me smile. So it's not all bad. I say I continue even with all these bad things cause I think the positive ones outweight the negative. I've also made friends here, so I'm not dropping my blog anytime soon.

All in all. Ask yourself if you'll commit to this blog and if you really want to do it. Putting yourself on social media is a responsibility you take yourself.

I hope this helps in some way and you read this.

My Works: MASTERLIST

(sorry about the tags, it's cause I have no idea which side this anon came from so I'm doing both fandoms)

[abby118]

Hi abby. I don't know the specifics but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry people are shitty to you and send awful things, I don't know what's wrong with someone who does that. It says so much more about them than it ever will about you, because you're just existing in your corner of the internet and doing nice things, posting great stuff. I love your posts about Loki and the Thor movies. I don't know who wants to ruin a good thing for someone who doesn't do anything bad. And sending shitty anons and goddamn suicide baiting people is despicable. I hope you know you're great and they're messed up. I'm not *happy* happy that you're taking a break, because I'll miss your posts of course, but I'm happy you've made that decision to take care of yourself and your wellbeing. I hope you're well, resting and doing many nice things while you're away from here. Hugs! 💚💚💚

You're so kind, thank you💚🖤 Yea, I've been getting consistent hate ever since I returned to tumblr (I'd had a different blog before this one) but I ignore and delete most of it because they're just bullies. These people however, go out of their way to pretend to be me or my friends or just straight up tell me to kill myself. For those who know, no, I'm fairly certain it's not just them. And I've been open about my struggles, I mean, you do see who this blog is about so it's not that surprising that I'm not exactly the prime example of mental health. Using that against me is really telling about the intellect, or lack there of, of said people. That's all I'll say about that.

I'm still here, I might not be as active for a while but that doesn't mean they chased me off. I've been here for a half of my life at this point. As for doing nice things, I'm mostly focusing on my personal writing project, as always, which has been great. So no worries. I really appreciate your words <3

[ellecdc]

Hiiiiiii! I want to preface and say that if this is something you’re not comfortable discussing or answering, pls feel free to ignore me! I just know you’ve spoken about grief and loss and seem knowledgable, so I figured I’d ask you, since I don’t have anyone else in my life who have really experienced it. So my fav writer (other than you and mae ofc) has recently lost someone (I think several) people in their lives and I really want to do something for her. Idk send my condolences or show love or something, but the thing is I really don’t know how or what to say. I don’t want to say something that’s rude or hits wrong or something. As you can see, I’m not too great with words or the topic. But my heart breaks for her and she’s so nice, so she deserves someone who’s nice to her too!! Thank you for hearing me out and again feel free to ignore. Love you so much, you’re so nice.

I find it kind of cosmic that this ask has found me today. today would have been my nieces 19th birthday, my little sagittarius queen 🤍

grief is hard because it can be very isolating - even for two people who are experiencing the loss of the same person - because each person's relationship to that individual was different. a counsellor once told me that "the most painful grief in the entire world is yours because it is the one that you have to carry." I mention this because I've honesty found speaking to people without a personal relationship to my loved one helped a bit, because it felt like I got to share a bit of her with others; my version of her, my relationship with her, you know? depending on how open this person is, they may find comfort in getting to talk about them? though people may not be comfortable doing that on a platform like Tumblr as a writer haha - I forget sometimes that you're not all my closest friends. Otherwise, there are very few things I think one could say that would offend a grieving person when offering condolences, other than these few things I would absolutely avoid saying:

any iteration of "they're in a better place", "everything happens for a reason", "it was just their time" etc. I know this comes from a place of good intentions, but it is very upsetting to a grieving person. whether the sentiment is true or not, to a mourner, there is no better place for their loved one than with them, there is no reason good enough to have someone ripped away from you, and I think the only amount of time anyone would be okay with their loved one's living is outliving them.

I would caution against offering any sort of religious ideology until you know what they believe in/hope for their departed loved ones. An example is a friend of mine was speaking about the loss of their beloved pet, and I waited until they mentioned maybe believing in a kitty heaven before I offered any sort of "I just know they're chasing butterflies around as they cheer you on". while the sentiment may offer comfort to some people, other's who don't share the same beliefs may find that an uncomfortable sentiment

I would say that there is nothing wrong with letting them know your heart is with them, you're sorry for their loss, and that you're thinking of them during what is no doubt a difficult time

hope this makes sense, and hope this helps <3

xx

[michameinmicha]

Hi Micha,

Re: your post about the two people gifting each other fics for the same pairing continuously - I suppose it's possible the time frame and number of fics might fit another set of fandom friends, but I have a suspicion I'm one half of that. A regular reader nudged this post my way, actually. If so, I'd just like to thank you very much for not naming the fandom, pairing or usernames! It's the kind of ship that leads to us getting harassment on a semi-regular basis anyway (hence the locked posting of fics), and we don't need more of that.

As for the true love thing - we started gifting each other in exchanges because we both realised we've been madly in love with the same character in that fandom since we were children. So FWIW, you're right about the true love, but in the wrong way. :D

Hello! (I saw you sent this last night? (Well where i live it was night) and i wanted to take some time to write a proper answer (although now it got super long sorry))

(Edit: You know what, im putting this under a read more, its not gonna be interesting to most people who aren't the anon anyway lmao)

Im happy to hear from you (and if you wanna chat off-anon feel free to dm me) and just judging from your message i also think you might be right! (Ive seen a handful of pairings mentioned in the notes who might fit but arent the one i talked about, ...i cant explain it but i have a feeling it might be you)

At first when i made the post i didnt expect it to get this big but when it did and some people started to ask or make guesses about the pairing i was curious if anyone would guess right (and really didnt believe it could happen tbh) but then it kept getting bigger and people took it as a challenge and i finally i decided i didnt want to say it anyway. Im glad your little corner of the internet stays calm and nice <3

I hope you dont mind the post, it really touched me to see your works and i just wanted to share that experience and make others feel a bit of this emotion too.

i was too shy to comment on the fics i read (sorry im working on getting better at it) but im hoping you'll read this answer so i want to use this opportunity to say some of my thoughts (I would have liked to send you some friendly anons to say this back then😅 but you didnt have tumblrs linked in your ao3 profiles) i enjoyed reading your stories a lot! I had some really stressful weeks when i came across the pairing tag and even though im not really in the fandom myself (besides enjoying what i knew of the source material years ago) i was happy to find it! it was such a nice little treasure, this collection of stories to read when i was feeling down and they cheered me up a lot! So yeah im sorry to hear you get harrassment for it but i for one am glad you post the fics despite that, because then i could find and appreciate them! (this all sounds very sappy but i mean it!)

Im happy that you two found each other! I gotta say 'true love' to me is just as much platonic as romantic (like, the relationship i have with my best friend isnt anything less than true love to me) but i also think its wonderful that you share that love for your character!

I hope you two are doing great, please tell your friend that i appreciate their work (and yours of course!) And i wish you that you can keep doing this for as long as it makes you happy!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas, if you're okay with it I want your advice on some things.

Okay so I know I'm queer but I'n not quite sure what my labels are. I think I might be oriented aroace (i think thats what it is??) but I'm not sure. I'm 12-16 years old and I've never had a crush on anyone. i think i'm like bisexual/bisexual oriented or something like that? but i have no clue I think people are hot and I have celebrity/fictional crushes but I've never actually like liked someone. I'm also not out so everyone i know irl thinks I'm straight

I'm not very good at making friends so I pretty much have one friend and they're my best friend. They're the best I love them very much but one thing I really don't like is every single time anything queer related comes up or they see anything they always point out i'm straight and start making fun of me for being straight and I never know what to do I really hate it. And I dont want to come out because i dont really want labels (i wouldnt mind labels but i dont want to come out as something because I'm not quite sure what i am yet) and idk i just dont.

But every single time they always have to point out i'm straight. And whenever any straight media or characters or anything like that show up they always start going like ewwww and i cant believe thats up there. And as soon as anything isn't queer they immediately hate it. And i think i'm queer idk. But like if i was or if i was cishet i would still think thats really weird because it is and idk it makes me uncomfortable that they're actively hating on people and not even in a jokey way.

And they were reading a queer book and saw the word 'cisgender' and they were immediately like omg thats you I can't believe you're cis. And I really hate that because there's nothing wrong with being cis. And literally a few months ago they didn't even know what cis meant I had to explain it to them but now they're acting like the fact i'm not trans is a negative thing.

And i just think all of this is so odd and I hate it and I don't know what to do. I really hate confrontational things like this so no way I'll have the courage to tell them to stop because wtf?? But whenever they start saying bad things about a cis person I always say there's nothing wrong with that but they don't seem to get it.

Anyways those parts were kind of a vent rather than advice because I know a lot of the time you tell people to set boundaries but I hate talking about my feelings and stuff and I don't know if i'd be able to do that. But if you have anything else then please tell me because idk.

Also I'm so so so confused about my sexuality and I know I don't need labels but i still want to know or at least have an idea so if you have any idea then idk please mention it idk

Sorry that was really long I have more stuff but I'll send it later because I don't want to bother you too much. I always want to send you asks for advice because I feel so much better afterwards but I never really get around to it. Anyways no pressure you don't have to reply to this but if you do please don't answer this ask but instead make it a post and adress it to me because I know some people on tumblr who view your blog and idk. Anyways you're always so kind and thoughtful to everyone else so remember to show love to yourself and take care no pressure <3

-default anon

Hi!

Yeah, I think sometimes people act this way as a joke but then get carried away and it's turned into a Thing. Instead of confronting them, could you maybe play stupid and ask questions. "Oh, what's wrong with cis people? What's wrong with straight people? When did I tell you I was straight? Oh I met a really nice cis person once." Etc. Like question their actions in a nonconfrontational way.

Sadly, I can't just pick labels for you <3 I do want to reassure you though that sometimes it just takes time and self-discovery to figure it out. It's okay not to know and it's okay to figure it out as you go! You don't have to already have picked out the gender you want to marry before you even go on a date. You're young, and you're allowed to (for lack of a better word) experiment.

[lost-technology]

Hey. Please please please don't do anything drastic. I know it seems really dark right now, and it is. Yesterday was a horrible day for everyone and it will continue to be hard as we all process. But it's so so so important that you keep on living through that.

One half of this that is absolutely true is that you need to keep on living to spite them. You need to live longer than him and laugh when he's gone. Your life in itself is resistance and that's infinitely valuable.

The other half is that, no matter if you believe this or not right now, the world would be darker without you. I mean this really and truly. I don't know you in real life so I can't speak to that, but you bring a lot of positivity and unique views to the trigun fandom. Your reblogs are how I found a lot of the trigun blogs I now follow. Your comments and discussions on Rem make me happy to read, just grinning in real life because someone cares so much about a character that needed more time. It's simple stuff really, but that's what's important. Even people you've never spoken to like me are positively impacted by your life. And that increases tenfold for people who know you in real life that you do speak to and that love you and want you around no matter if they say it out loud or not.

Please keep living. You bring something unique to this world and you're a nice person, which goes for a lot these days. And if you can't believe that, live for spite, just for now, and maybe the other stuff can come later.

Please live. I'm sorry for being so long winded but you really do have a much bigger impact than you could ever see without someone telling you and I want you to know.

We can all get through this and you're not alone. Being together is how we can find strength. So stay and be together with us. Please.

I'm sorry for the long ask. Just want to make sure you at least hear this stuff. You're important.

I do need to get on the phone with my therapist. It's just... I feel like the hits just keep on coming, neverending in my life. This hope to have the first ever Madame President and to not have a man in office (again) who shows all signs of going full fascist - it is bringing up grief in such a way that it seems to be bleeding into my lingering grief over a family-loss I had last year. I'm feeling similar ways. Last year, my nephew died (adult, just on the cusp of 40, my partner's nephew). He was my best friend, my gaming buddy and we were the three amigos on holidays and whatnot. We had him up for almost an entire year on Covid-lockdown living with us. He got me through my partner's heart-attacks when he had those in previous years. Matt was the one who broke the news to me that there was going to be a new Trigun anime because he knew I basically lived and breathed Trigun back in the day and still counted Vash as my personal hero. And then, in January '23, he was gone - cause of death unknown, probably his heart giving out - because he had some health issues. I basically had to go through that. I've been feeling like I've just gotten to pulling myself out of the muck of that, was just starting to feel better (with some random meloncholy still hitting me), and now I'm running into yet another big thing that's making me think "What is life even for?" - There's no justice here. I have no power. There is no rhyme or reason. I also lost a couple of aunts during Covid times, both eldery - one to the disease itself, another through something unrelated, both in 2021. I wasn't as close to them anymore, but it hurt. I had to go into inpatient psychiatric in 2021 because some misunderstandings, a huge fight, a dogpiling (of me) and a public tumblr callout post in one small niche area of the She-Ra fandom just made me lose it. I was accused of plagerism (not true. There was a misunderstanding with someone regarding idea-exchange and what I was allowed use in roleplays on a small roleplay discord. I did legit read things wrong, but it's not like I ganked someone's ideas for a publically available fanfic or was trying to "steal their characters" like they whined to everyone in the fandom about), but because anyone accuses of that, immedately everyone else will side with them and not even look further into it, I was suddenly losing friends - I freaked out, myself and got to harassing some people in a defensive snarl - and then some asshole had to take it off the discords and make it public, which meant I was shunned by an entire fandom and was basically told that I was human garbage and believed it. I did something untoward to myself and had a little hospital stay. The person who intervened to save my life was that now-deceased nephew. And so, I've just been going through hit after hit, some of it being hangover from "We all got crazy under Trump and under Trump's attempts to get back into power" and now... that's a thing again... I am also on Social Security / Disability and am worried about my future. I worked very hard to get it and it might go away. My partner was on the cusp of getting it until they raised the retirement age and who knows he might not get it. We might die freezing under a bridge, I don't know. There is always the question of "Well, now or later?" that looms in the mind. "Murdered by the State or go on my own terms?" I want to be brave like Vash and Rem, but they are fiction and I don't know if I am capable of their strength of heart. Thank you for talking to me.