#don't get me wrong I enjoy the ride but it could have been so solid actually

[simplytibbs]

Bucchigiri episode 9 (somewhat brief) yapping because I just watched it and I fume at how much the anime has potential, good ideas and scenes with merit that work well without context but then you remember who the characters are (FUCKING. MAHORO. IS THE WORST CASE.) and it falls flat

Also if anyone disagrees it's fine. We can have different opinions. We can even talk or whatever, just let's respect each other k?

Idk why it consumed me OUT OF ALL THINGS, I could be reading Dunmeshi and freaking out about it instead but look where we are...

Discord screenshots 'cus that's where I yapp

[daisyvisions]

Thick as Thieves | Octoberfest Day 6

➺ Pairing - childhood bff!Kevin x fem! reader

➺ Drink - Mojito with a shot of gin (aka childhood friend!au x voyeurism)

➺ Summary - How far are you willing to go to help your friend, especially if he’s been your friend since childhood?

➺ Word Count - 1.7K

➺ Warnings - Smut (18+, minors DNI), fuckboy!Kevin, voyeurism, slight exhibitionism, oral (f!receiving), fingering, face riding, hair pulling, dry humping, pussy!drunk Kevin, one-sided love (if you squint), some breast groping, let me know if I missed anything.

➺ Author’s note - Did not proofread this after writing so forgive me if it seems all over the place but I tried my best to make it make sense hahaha hope you enjoy!

➺ Taglist - @deoboyznet @snowflakewhispers @midnightfantasiez

@momhwa-agenda @nyu-topia @jaminthemiddle

➺ OctoberFest Masterlist

Knock knock knock.

You sigh to yourself as you hear the sound coming from your front door. You were just about to plop down on your bed, wrap yourself in your cozy blanket, and call it a day by watching your favorite TV show.

You pause for a moment, waiting to see if you were just hearing things, but your guess was wrong when the sound of knocking was heard once more. And it wasn't just any normal knock. It was a special knock with a certain rhythm to it. Once you heard the special beat, you already knew who was behind the door.

You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion, wondering why he decided to stop by your apartment when he should be getting ready for his "big" date tonight. As soon as you open the front door, you're greeted by a waft of his signature cologne. The cologne that makes you grow weak in the knees (you didn't need to tell him that) but more importantly, a very panic-stricken Kevin as he tries to catch his breath.

To some, the sight of your college's resident fuckboy right at your doorstep would make them faint on the spot, but to you, he's just Kevin, your best friend since you were kids.

"Kevin? What are you doing here?"

"It's an emergency, I need your help—"

"Oh, is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, can I come in?" He pushes past you as if he owns the place.

You don't take offense at his current demeanor but rather it makes you worried even more. You've never seen Kevin like this before, wondering what kind of emergency he's talking about. By the time you close the door and turn around to face him, he's already pacing around the small foyer of your apartment.

"Kev, what's going on—"

"Before you have any violent reactions to what I'm about to ask, I need you to hear me out for a sec." He pauses, lets out a deep sigh, his eyes struggling to meet yours as a blush starts creeping onto his cheeks.

"I need you to show me how you touch yourself," he mumbles as he watches your reaction.

"I'm sorry— Can you run that by me again?" You look at him as if he had grown another head on his shoulder.

"Show me how you touch yourself."

"Now it sounds even more ridiculous the second time," you snickered.

"I'm in a dry spell. All my past hookups have been saying I suck at foreplay and word is starting to spread and I really cannot fuck up my date tonight."

Kevin steps closer to you, placing his hands on your shoulders as he looks you straight in the eyes.

"Look, I know it's weird—"

"It is fucking weird, Kevin! We're best friends!" Your eyes widen at him.

"And that's exactly why I'm asking you!" He matches your tone. "Just this once, can you do me this one solid? And we never have to speak about it again. I— I just want this date to go well��" His voice turns into a murmur.

By how his shoulders start to slump, you could already tell how badly this is affecting him. You want to help him out, you really do! But the thought of how this might affect your friendship weighs on you.

"Nevermind, I'm sorry I asked you—" Kevin's hands drop from your shoulders, a dark cloud suddenly casting over him as he walks past you to the front door. You feel your moral compass being pulled left and right. He's done so much for you over the years and not once has he asked for a favor in return. And it's just a simple favor, right? What's the worst that can happen?

"Wait—" You sigh to yourself, quickly turning around before you change your mind. Kevin turns back around to face you, waiting for you to finish your sentence.

"I'll do it. But just this once, okay?"

"Kevin, can you please back up a bit? Don't make this weirder than it already is."

"Oh sorry—" Kevin scoots backwards, giving you the space to lie back against your pillows. As you get settled and are about to pull down your shorts, his surprised tone halts your movements.

"Woah, woah, wait—"

"What?"

"You're not going to keep them on?" He asks worriedly as his doubts slowly start to sink in.

"What do you— Kevin, how the hell am I supposed to show you if my shorts are on?" You say as a matter of fact.

"Right, right— sorry. Continue—" He shakes his head.

You proceed to hook your fingers to the waistband of your shorts, lifting your hips as you pull the article of clothing down before tossing them to the side of your bed. You pause for a moment, taking a deep breath before you slowly open your legs, exposing yourself to him.

Watching you slowly reveal your exposed bottom half stirred something within Kevin's stomach. It was like looking at porn for the first time in his life. He couldn't believe how mesmerizing you looked in this moment. Suddenly, his cock twitches beneath his jeans as you stick two fingers in your mouth, lubricating your digits before you begin.

"I'm not gonna talk, just watch, okay?" You quickly look at him before you close your eyes, trying not to think about him as you manually get yourself off.

You start slowly caressing your folds, dragging the pads of your fingers around the sensitive skin as you tease yourself into this. Your breath hitches at the featherlight touch, imagining it was someone else's fingers teasing you down there. You do this for a moment before inserting your fingers between your folds, running them up and down until they catch onto your pretty little pearl.

Your eyes scrunch at the sensation as you start to move your fingers in a circular motion. Your legs slowly ease apart as your other hand slips under your shirt to grope your own breast. Kevin could feel his throat drying up, especially with how your small whimpers of pleasure slip out of your mouth. He can't help but imagine what it would feel like to swallow those moans with his own lips.

For a moment, you forgot he was even there, too caught up in the moment as you enjoy yourself until you open your eyes and gasp, both because of suddenly seeing Kevin kneeling before you but also because you started hitting a good spot as you inserted your fingers inside your cunt.

"Fuck, Kev— you're so hard," you moan out. The sight of his erection desperately pressing against the zipper of his jeans, the outline of his manhood giving you a surge of confidence as you pump your fingers inside you faster.

"Hm? Oh—" Kevin looks down at his pants as your statement shakes him from his trance. "Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about," you smile at him. "It's kinda hot, actually—" You cut yourself off as you curl your fingers.

"Holy shit…" Kevin mumbles, intensely watching you finger yourself. He doesn't notice his body leaning forward, slowly lowering himself onto his stomach to get closer to your glistening folds. He licks his lips, itching to know what you taste like on his tongue as he gets a faint whiff of your essence.

There was something about Kevin being at eye level with your cunt that sent the butterflies in your stomach fluttering like crazy. You've heard of the stories before, but you never thought in this life you'd see the sight before you and now you're thirsting for more of it.

You pull your fingers out, whining as the pads of your fingers play with your clit once more. You go faster, desperately wanting to reach your high.

"Please…" Kevin whimpers.

"Hm?" You slightly prop your head up to look at him.

"Please— need to taste you." He begs as his eyes start to droop from the sexual atmosphere. You nod your head without thinking, your curiosity getting the best of you.

"Thank fucking god—" Kevin lunges forward like a madman. His arms pulling your ankles aggressively towards himself as he drapes your legs over his shoulders, wrapping his arms around your thighs as he locks them in place. He dives in and licks one fat stripe between your folds, making you scream his name as your hands fly to his head, gripping his hair as he sucks on your clit like it's his lifeline.

Your head starts to spin the more his mouth moves against your heat. You don't know what the fuck these girls were talking about. Kevin's a natural at this! To be honest, he might even be the best pussy eater you've been with and you're not just saying that because he's your best friend.

You start to mindlessly grind your hips onto his face, trying to desperately reach your high. You feel the mattress rocking slowly beneath you as Kevin ruts into the mattress, seeking his own high as well in the process. Your fingers tighten, pulling his hair as you feel yourself slowly falling off the edge. Kevin groans into your cunt, the sensation of his hair being pulled makes him thrust his hips into the mattress faster.

"Oh fuck, I'm so close. Kevin, please—" You whine as he moans against your folds. The way you say his name switches something inside his brain, making him suddenly insert two fingers inside you, curling and pumping them in and out like there's no tomorrow.

You ride his face into the sunset until you finally see stars, your hips twitching as you fall over the edge. Your thighs involuntarily start closing together, squeezing Kevin's head in the process. Kevin lets out a loud grunt, suddenly stilling his movements as he buries his face further into your sex.

You let out a dreamy sigh afterwards. In all your years being sexually active, this was by far the hardest you've come. You prop your head again to check in on Kevin, whose face is still down between your legs.

"…Kevin? Are you okay down there?" You try not to laugh at the current situation. His head pops up, looking at you with dazed eyes. He lazily smiles at you, looking as if he had reached an all-time high.

"You don't know how long I've been wanting to do that…"

[mj-iza-writer]

This came from an ask request I received, but was asked not to publicly answer. I'll have at least two more stories from that request. I appreciate the person who asked. I hope everyone enjoys. - MJ

Whumper had kidnapped Whumpee years ago. It started off fun for him. Whumpee's screams were the sweetest, but it got boring for Whumper, or so he said.

Honestly he hated to admit it, but Whumpee grew on him. Their relationship became fairly civil.

"I tried to squash the bug, now all they do is bug me. I can't get rid of them either", Whumper often joked.

Whumpee would just role their eyes while Whumper laughed.

"Where were you?", Whumper met Whumpee as they came inside, "you know you have a curfew, and you passed that an hour ago."

"What, are you afraid I'll get kidnapped", Whumpee taunted.

"Oh by all means, if that's what you want, we can go back to that without troubling someone else", Whumper reminded, "If you think that is the only thing that crosses my mind when I have no idea where you are you're sadly mistaking."

Whumpee started to go up some stairs to their bedroom, "I lost track of time, I'm sorry."

"Where were you?", Whumper frowned.

"At the park, I was watching some kids skateboarding", Whumpee turned, "do you think I could try skateboarding."

"Whumpee you have a hard time balancing on solid ground, and you want to put wheels under you. Plus your body isn't exactly in good shape", Whumper stated.

"I wonder why", Whumpee stopped.

"YOU DID THIS....", Whumpee yelled as they turned. Suddenly, their knees gave out, and they fell down the steps.

"Whumpee", Whumper frantically yelled as Whumpee fell down the stairs and landed right in front of him.

Whumper quickly knelt down, "Whumpee, Whumpee talk to me."

Whumpee shot a scared look at Whumper as they struggled to breath, "it.... it h-hurts", they managed to groan.

"Okay, what hurts?", Whumper hurried and pulled their phone out, "did you hit your head?"

"N-no", Whumpee winced, "leg... my leg and shoulder... can't breath."

Whumper dialed Caretaker.

"Hello Caretaker, I-I need help", Whumper frantically spoke into the phone, "Whumpee, Whumpee fell down the stairs, we were arguing, they turned to say something. Their knees buckled, and they went down. I-I can't drive them, and an ambulance is impossible to get out here."

"My cars in the shop. They're awake, they said they didn't hit their head, but they are in pain", Whumper was practically in tears, "please, hurry."

Whumpee tried to sit up.

"Whumpee don't move, I don't know how injured you are", Whumper held them down as they listened to Caretaker.

Whumpee whined.

Caretaker rushed to the house.

"Oh my", Caretaker turned pale as they saw Whumpee.

Whumpee started to shake as they whined. They knew it was bad, but for Caretaker to say that it must have been really bad.

"Okay, shh", Caretaker contained his shock and knelt down, "we are going to get you into my car. We are going to the hospital right now."

Whumper hurried up the stairs, then back to Whumpee's side.

"I had to get their information for the hospital", Whumper pocketed his wallet, "I have your insurance with me", he looked at Whumpee.

"Okay, do you have any neck pains?", Caretaker asked, "I can't lift you if you do."

"No, my shoulder and leg, and....and this hand", Whumpee shook in pain, "my arms covered my head, so my head is okay."

"Okay", Caretaker sighed, "Whumper lift them carefully, and take them out to my car."

As gently as possible, Whumpee was carried out to the car.

Whumper spoke apologies and reassurances to Whumpee the whole ride to the hospital.

"So what happened?", Caretaker sighed.

"Whumpee was past curfew tonight, and we had an argument", Whumper sighed, "they were going upstairs, they turned to yell something at me. Their knees buckled, and they fell."

Whumpee started to cry again.

"What's wrong back there?", Caretaker glanced in the rear view mirror.

"It hurts... I should have gotten back in time. This wouldn't have happened if I was back on time", Whumpee groaned.

"No need to think about the past", Whumper spoke, "let's focus on this now."

Caretaker pulled into the hospital, and Whumpee was taken right back.

After initial care came the abuse questions. Whumper and Whumpee were honest about what happened that night. Yes there was an argument, Whumpee's didn't have the strongest knees, so they buckled, and Whumpee went down. They both purposely left out the hostage situation, Whumpee was in to much pain to care, and where would they go anyway.

Early in the morning Whumper carried Whumpee into the house and sat them on the couch.

Whumpee winced as Caretaker placed pillows under their legs, arm, and shoulder.

"You need to ice and warm this constantly", Caretaker reminded, "try to get some rest."

Caretaker and Whumper talked.

"Thankyou so much for helping us", Whumper looked apologetically at Caretaker, "I'm sorry we had to bother you. I didn't know what else to do."

Caretaker sighed as they rested their hand on Whumper's shoulder, "I'm glad I was able to help, but you really need to apologize to Whumpee, and maybe consider a few rule changes, like curfew. They are older now, and you are very lucky they didn't say anything about being kidnapped. I would have sided with them, you know that right."

"Yes", Whumper looked down and nodded, "why didn't you say anything while we were there."

"As of right now I believe they are safe, so I'm not messing with it. The moment I feel that changes, I will remove them personally."

Whumper sighed, "I don't want them hurt. I don't want to cause anymore damage. I promise you that."

"Do you need any help taking care of them?", Caretaker looked around, "how long has your car been in the shop?"

"I have everything right now", Whumper nodded, "a few days, I think I can manage."

"I don't know. You were frantically pacing back and forth in the waiting room. Are you sure you're okay?", Caretaker smiled, "you nearly dug a trench with your pacing."

"Yes, I'm okay. I was scared", Whumper took a deep breath, "I'll take good care of them, I promise."

"I'll check in and bring you some things tomorrow", Caretaker spoke as they left, "I'm tired."

Whumper walked into the living room, and eyed Whumpee.

Whumpee gulped.

"Broken leg, sprained hand, and dislocated shoulder", Whumper sat across from them, "were you trying to get a reward on how many injuries you could accumulate", he leaned back, "plus bruising and a scrape. You did more damage than I ever did."

Whumpee looked down, "I'm sorry", they whispered.

"You didn't mean to, but I've told you not to stand on the stairs for a long time because of your knees being weak", Whumper frowned, "I'm glad you're okay.... well for the most part."

Whumpee whimpered, "not just for that. I'm sorry for missing curfew, I truly did lose track of time. The skateboarders were so cool. I'm sorry for making you worry, and then I do this and stress you even more. I'm sorry for everything."

"Whumpee, I don't know what I would do if you got taken from me. That's why I was so stressed", Whumper leaned up, "I know when you first got here I was a nightmare to you. Now, I don't want to see you get hurt. I don't want someone to hurt you or kill you, that's why the curfew is strict, but I will rethink a few things and maybe change it."

"You're a helicopter kidnapper, I already know that", Whumpee giggled, but winced.

"I guess I am. Now let's get you iced up", Whumper stood, "how about we both take a nap down here, we've been in the hospital all night", Whumper yawned, "I know I'm tired, Caretaker looked tired to."

Whumpee nodded, "can I have heat to sleep with, please."

"Yes, I'll get the heating pad", Whumper nodded.

Once Whumpee was comfortable, Whumper laid down on the floor beside them.

"Wake me if you need something, get some sleep though", Whumper sighed as he wiggled around to get comfortable.

Whumpe didn't answer.

Whumper sat up and looked at Whumpee.

Whumpee had already drifted off to sleep.

Whumper laid back and listened to Whumpee's breathing until they too fell asleep.

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all. @villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath @monarchthefirst @porschethemermaid @generic-whumperz @bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13 @notpeppermint @weirdthingweee

[consumedbyfeels]

We All Fall Down

Spoilers for 9-1-1 7'10

I am not okay. That was a ride, holy shit.

I'm over the moon that Bobby is okay, I worried for a minute he might actually die this time and I guess he technically did his heart stopped for 14 minutes he's giving Buck a run for his money with that one. But he's safe and okay so that's good.

Poor Chris, that kid has been through so much I really hope he can work through everything and be okay. As much as I hate it time with his grandparents might be good for him. probably be good for Eddie as well, it can give him some space to work through his stuff as well cuz we know that man didn't work through anything. Also Buck was just as heartbroken and I wanted to cry with him, that's his kid too.

Madney fostering Mara so she doesn't have to be in a group home and can have contact with her family. I nearly cried I'm so happy for them.

Buck admitting Bobby is his dad was such a wonderful thing. They both know it, now they just need to say it to each other, course .somehow I know at least Bobby knows that's how Buck feels, Buck might have a harder time accepting it but I think he knows as well even if it's deep down.

Buck and Tommy are thriving and I could not be happier, I;m so glad we were wrong and the date happened after they knew Bobby was okay so they could just enjoy it but I'm gonna need to see Tommy support Buck through some hard times as well because we know he would be the sweetest, knowing the 118 it is bound to happen again.

Fuck Gerrard the bastard. Poor hen and Chim get to re-live that hell and now Ravi, Eddie and Buck have to experience it as well. No of them would be part of Gerrard's boys club so you know it's gonna be hell for everyone except Gerrard the fucking asshole. And you know Chim gonna get it extra worst for his comment at the award ceremony. I guess it could strengthen the relationships cuz now they all know what it's like but still that is a sucky thing to bond over and there relationships are already solid and unbreakable so we don't need it anyway.

One thing that I'm gonna need though it Tommy to come pick Buck up from work or something and hear Gerrard saying some awful shit to Buck and Tommy to just go protective boyfriend mode and curse Gerrard out and tell him off, but like on Gerrard's last day before Bobby comes back so it doesn't come back on Buck and the others later.

I'm just in shock, this whole season was packed with so much but this episode especially, I am not going to survive this hiatus.

Also are we could ignore Buck asking Tommy if he thinks he has Daddy issues and Tommy saying he hopes so. Like Bro. Tommy and his one liners, I just love Tommy Kinard.

Speaking of the date Tommy asking Buck if he was okay when talking about Bobby. My man Knew how much Bobby meant to buck at least to an extent, for crying out loud they met flying into a hurricane to save him that tells you he is important to Buck. Knowing this he makes sure to check in and make sure Buck is doing okay with the situation. It's moment like this that make me love him even more, as a character but also for Buck.

I just know next season is gonna hurt but I'm ready for it, I think. I can definitely be okay if we keep getting cute Teven moments. I will be devastated if they break up though, that will be the heartbreak I will never recover from.

Anyway time to read fluff fics until we get season 8

[alwayslurkinginthebackground]

Favorite Place - A "Kissing You" Drabble

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader Warnings: Brief mentions of sex, but nothing beyond that. Word Count: 900 Prompt #58: Playful kisses, such as "I'm not going to kiss you." "Why?" "Because if I do, I don't think we're getting out of bed today.” a/n: I'm back from vacation and I'm forcing myself to stop being so lazy (and by lazy I mean working my full time job that's really like three full time jobs and also volunteering for things and also trying to have a social life) and actually post some of the things that I have just sitting in folders. This is...well, very self-indulgent though because I’m not in the best headspace and I needed to get out of it for a while so…uh…enjoy!

Masterlist | Previous Drabble | Next Drabble

As a kid, you’d been convinced that your favorite place in the entire world was Disney World. After all, who wouldn’t want to ride rollercoasters all day and live in a literal castle? A diet that consisted of churros and far too much popcorn seemed more than logical to your young brain, and you’d consistently argued with your parents, who reminded you often that there were, in fact, other places you really liked too. 

Your father would often suggest your favorite museum. The one that you begged to go to. While perhaps less magical than Disney World, you were still just as enchanted by the animal displays and the butterfly room with real butterflies. Even in the dead of winter. Your mother, on the other hand, would suggest that, perhaps, your favorite place in the world was the home you lived in. After all, they’d always made it warm and inviting, serving as a gathering place for friends and family alike. 

You knew they were wrong though, and you told them so, pointedly. Disney World was your favorite place, and nothing could ever change that. 

But, as it turns out, your parents weren’t the only ones getting it wrong, because your favorite place in the world was never destined to be a theme park or an exhibit filled with artifacts or even a cozy house in the country. It was here. In his arms. 

Frankie’s body is secured around you in a way that you’re fairly certain you’ll never be able to explain through the laws of physics. Both hands are splayed flat on your stomach, arms wrapped tightly around you in a safe grip. His solid chest is pressed against your shoulder blades, one leg tangled with yours, head tucked in behind you, and you wonder for a moment if he can get any closer. 

It wasn’t uncommon for him to pull you tightly against himself in slumber. You figured it had something to do with his nightmares, the illusions stemming far too close to reality once the world turned dark. Subconsciously, he was always searching for you, ensuring that you were here, with him. That you were safe. 

And that’s exactly how you always feel when you wake up this way. Safe. So entirely protected in every way by the man you’d just happened to meet when an overheated engine went from being your worst nightmare to your greatest blessing. 

If you could, you’d bask in the feeling of his warmth forever, but a glance at your phone on the table beside you informs you that, unfortunately, that won’t be the case today. The screen is already lit up with emails and texts from coworkers who leave their beds earlier than you do. Reluctantly, you begin the process of dissecting your body from his grasp. His intake of breath alerts you to the fact that if he wasn’t awake before, he is now. Lips trail along your spine, fingers dusting over your skin, and you turn in his grasp. 

“Good morning, handsome,” you whisper to him. Frankie’s eyes are still closed, and you laugh lightly at his returned grumble. “It’s time for me to get up.” 

“Five more minutes,” he requests, nuzzling in against your throat and settling there, his arms undoing all the work you’d just accomplished. He can’t see you shake your head, but he can feel it, and when he peeks an eye open, slowly turning up to look at you, you know he’s debating pleading further. “Do I at least get a kiss?” 

“No,” you state plainly, pulling his arms from around your waist. “I’m not going to kiss you.” 

The look on Frankie’s face can only be described as offended, lips parted slightly. “You would deprive me? Why?” 

You smile, pressing a kiss to his nose instead. “Because if I do, I don’t think we’re getting out of bed today.” You roll quickly then, hurrying to get away, but he’s faster, and he hauls you back against him. A squeal escapes your lungs as he rolls the two of you over until he has you beneath him, caged in by the secure frame of his arms and legs. 

“You say that like it would be a bad thing.” Frankie leans down, hovering so his lips are just above yours, but he doesn’t kiss you, not yet, his denial mirroring your own actions from moments before. 

And it’s torture. 

“Being late for work would be a bad thing,” you explain, although you note how lame your excuse sounds. Your voice is barely a whisper, and you want nothing more than to arch up to capture his lips, but every time you try, he pulls back, just out of reach. “But,” you say then, and his eyes drift down to your lips before pulling back to meet your gaze, “perhaps I could use one of those vacation days they keep begging me to use.” 

Frankie smiles, his lips surging down to crash into your own. It’s sloppy, a result of the grogginess you both still feel, but it doesn’t fail to light a fire between your thighs. Your back arches again in an attempt to find friction, and he grinds down against you as his lips blaze a path so he can whisper in your ear.

“Trust me, the only person who will be begging for something today is you.” 

[themsource]

Frans, Shipping, and Me

A bit of context before we start.

For those that don’t know: I don’t like shipping myself. 

While a majority of my stuff has been and is for the insert enjoyers, I personally don’t like self shipping. It hits on that same nerve that makes me squeak at RPF (real person fiction), it just crosses a line for me. Because those are people with real feelings, and I can’t bring myself to objectify myself or others just for an imagined storyline or scenario. Even when reading it I don't truly insert myself into it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love and have a major crush on a ton of characters, especially Sans and I can ramble all day about what I would do or say in a relationship with him. But actually putting myself in the situation?

No, I can’t do it.

I managed to get one insert art made that I actually paid for myself and… while it did do things for me on both a good and bad level, and felt amazing to have, I wouldn’t do it again. 

It felt very personal, like I had been cracked opened and exposed on a level I didn’t want others seeing just for their entertainment or just because there were parts of myself that I wanted to keep just for me. 

I had received insert art and writing in the past from very close friends at the time, and while I loved them and they touched me very deeply, there was always a bit of uncomfortableness that came with it. Which is why I only willing accepted insert art with my OC Oreo from people I knew and trusted. But even that was and still is a bit much sometimes, because I’ve had Oreo since I was young, very young, so she’s as close to me as you can get without inserting me directly.

When I write insert, “y/n”, is a character. It makes it easier to write as I have a detachment and can enjoy what happens like watching a tv show or play, I’m just along for the ride with my fingers on the gas pedal. If people connected on a level with “y/n” and were able to see themselves in what I wrote, then that was amazing! That’s what I wanted… to be able to affect people and help them feel or experience things that they couldn’t or wouldn’t want to otherwise in a safe environment: so they could expand their perceptions or thoughts on certain subjects or view a topic in a different light.

My insert writing has always been about helping others explore, and even exploring myself.

I’ve learned so much about myself and how the world works with the stuff I’ve written and drawn, the good, bad, and the ugly. There were things I never dared to try and explore for personal reasons… until I started insert writing, because then it was like bringing a friend along, a friend who couldn’t actually get hurt by going on a journey with me. 

A journey that could help both me as a writer and those as a reader to think and reflect, to learn empathy and grow by maybe learning something about yourself you didn’t like or did like, and embracing yourself as a flawed human being just like each one of us are so you can be at peace and live your best life or even to work on yourself if that’s what you were inspired to do.

My insert writing is about learning, and having fun while doing so.

And this all leads into why I love character shipping more.

Characters aren’t real, no matter how many of us might wish that they were. Characters can be objectified, characters can be harmed or loved without committing a wrong against those that really matter, people. There is also yet another distinctive wall of division between a person and a character than there is an insert that makes me more comfortable.

And characters have a solid personality that can be worked with and challenge you as a writer to make work or have fun experimenting to see how they’d react in a certain scene even if it’s in a way you end up disliking.

They’re more limited but so much more versatile.

So when I fall in love with something I fall in love with the characters not the possibility of what I could do in the world.

Characters are what draw me in.

Well, one day I… discovered some interesting fanart of Sans, featuring him and his “light saber”.

And that sparked a curiosity for context.

When I first played Undertale, I had no interest in shipping “the human” with anyone, in fact I had no interest in shipping at all or what have you. Like I said it was like watching a tv show, just something for entertainment. 

The message of undertale did touch me deeply though so I did go looking at fanart and stuff as I was at a point in my life where grief was all I felt and Undertale had managed to make me feel something else other than that, but I was also more into Moana at the time. It’s honestly difficult for me to get motivated to create fanworks for something, to just create. I never made anything for Moana, and never made anything for Persona, which I was ADDICTED to at the time.

I had tried making fanfic in my youth but yeah… 14-19 year old me was awful.

And then the pacifist ending happened.

The absolute SHOCK I felt at seeing everyone call the human “Frisk” rather than what I had named them and learning the name we gave was actually Chara’s…. It made me watch replays, made me spend hours looking at everything I could have missed.

And that’s when I started falling for the characters, when I started falling for Sans and then Frisk.

Frisk, this character who had been possessed by “us” in a word, and “us” that was actually another character we just happened to give an identity to in yet another but milder form of possession, all fitted together like Matryoshka dolls. 

Do you realize how tragic that is?

Frisk was a puppet… of a puppet… for US.

My heart was stolen as soon as that realization was made. I have a weakness for broken and damaged characters, characters that have gone through hell or have been hurt in ways that people normally don’t come back from… because I love more than anything seeing them bounce back.

Combine that love and sympathy I found in Frisk, with the humor and comfort I found in Sans…

And there you have it: My love of Frans and why it’s my OTP.

That love has only gotten stronger as the years went by. 

Another truth I have to share, is I started initially doing insert because I didn’t feel confident enough to portray Frisk right, and character shipping and insert shipping have since drastically evolved into two different things for me with different meanings and reasons for why I do them. 

I really gained confidence in my Frans writing once my dear friend Shay introduced me to several broken down and researched articles by nochocolate that showed me exactly what Frisk and Chara’s personalities were like and how they were separated from “the player”.

And I’ve been on a nonstop Frans high ever since, and will be until the day I die. They are my OTP and I will ship them more than any other pairing, even Insert.

I am very much a “ship and let ship” person, and I have and will support people shipping whatever they please, in fact I tend to ship everyone because these characters are just so great you can’t help but find dynamics where they just work no matter the previously established bonds or relationships, and the same goes with good AU derivatives.

But Frisk and Sans were the ones who drew me in and kept me here.

I’ve made jokes and called other ships OTP in a show of support of fellow writers, however frans is it for me. If I was asked what ship’s hill I’d die on in a war, it’s them.

For me, Frans will always come first.

So now we get to what exactly my dynamics are for Frans.

I like portraying Frisk as female, because I am female. I find it easier to write emotions from that perspective than others, and I want people to love Frisk and feel what Frisk is feeling. I have written Frisk as nonbinary and male before, but I feel those pieces weren’t as good as my writing when I had Frisk as female, simply because I’m not actually of those genders. I will take genuine characterization over a subpar attempt at accuracy that undermines the experience the writing is supposed to give you.

I also like writing Sans as strictly male. Can he change his equipment if he pleases? Yes, he’s made of magic after all, but I don’t see him preferring or actively wanting to do that, he’s male and identifies as a man, pure and simple. You’d have to be pretty fucking special for him to honor an equipment swap request.

A bit of a TMI personal note for this too though in why I like this interpretation with Sans the most… is the fact I don’t like vaginas. 

I have one, and all I care about is the fact it can make me feel good. It’s not pretty or “looks like a flower”, it’s a hole that’s a direct opening into the body… gross. And no, before anyone starts, I would not feel better with a penis or think I’m trangender in any capacity. I’m a woman and I feel like a woman one hundred percent, I just don’t like that one part of my anatomy.

So while I’m willing to write about one vagina for smut, I’m not comfortable writing about two and creating the image that… two working together would make. Can I write two vaginas in a smut scene sure… if there’s a penis involved. I could even write lesbian sex if I wanted if there’s a dildo, vibrator, hands, or whatever. Just no vagina on vagina action. It’s my preference and for my comfort. I’ve read plenty of fics that include that but I happily ignore it in favor of the plot and interactions.

Anyways…

For me Sans and Frisk…

They are soulmates, they are always meant for each other. 

No matter the time, place, ages, personalities, or circumstances, they are always supposed to be together. I may write or make pieces where they’re not soulmates, but they still very much are in my head if that makes sense. This is why I love to indulge in any and all content involving them.

Now do they actually end up together? 

That’s a different story. Not all endings are happy ones. But what matters isn’t the ending but the journey. What matters is the time they have together and how they affect one another. What matters is the fact that they met.

Sans could be a complete asshole to Frisk, a deranged psychopath, and Frisk could be as equally messed up with them both going at each other’s throats, or one of them could be a complete sweetheart that suffers in the name of love and hopelessness, or they could even be in a perfect balance where they’re in a healthy relationship filled with compassion and consideration, but in someway, somehow, they will still just work. 

Even if it’s not in the way others would hope for.

I personally can write pure healthy fluff, I have before, but what I really like writing about is them struggling to overcome something. I generally like writing like that in the first place. 

But with Sans and Frisk…

I always write about change.

What I like most is a Sans who struggles with his emotions, whether that be displaying them or feeling them while hiding behind a calm and collected mask. I like it when he’s carrying that mysterious air about him that makes you question what he’s really thinking or if he really understands what’s been told to him. I like him leaving someone in doubt and constantly on the tips of their toes, before making them laugh with a joke.

And I like Frisk being able to crack that mask, to read through his charade.

She changes him by bringing more of him out from behind the curtain, making him more in tune with his SOUL and even his humanity and all the complications that come with it.

If that’s a good thing or not, depends on the situation and context, but yes always this.

For Frisk, I like her shy and innocent. Someone who’s learning the world at the same time that she’s learning herself, and is forever merciful and forgiving towards those that wrong or hurt her sometimes to her own detriment because she’s just that kind hearted and hopeful for that kindness in others. But as much as she forgives, she certainly doesn’t forget. Frisk remembers and counts the scars she carries.

I enjoy when Sans manages to push her into becoming stronger, to not let herself continue to be silently walked on, and to fight back.

That’s the basis for my work with them.

Sometimes, Sans makes her stronger by pushing her to an edge with abuse until she finally reaches a breaking point and fights with all her strength, and in her rebellion Sans slowly begins to see where he’s gone wrong to have changed her so and gradually becomes kinder, more open as he seeks forgiveness.

Other Times, Frisk sees Sans as nothing more than an empty shell just costing by in life with a false grin on his face and slowly starts overcoming her shyness and reluctance in other to try and help a friend facing down depression, and this slow build of strength and show of kindness is enough to cause Sans to start reacting more honestly to jokes or statements, to dare smile for real even though it hurts to do so.

Then there can be times of bloody revenge - where one becomes stronger to take out the other while the opponent seeks to manipulate their perception on what they knew was right or wrong, and both end up more broken than from when they started, but still irrevocably changed in a positive way that was negative between them.  

Times of tragic love not meant to be.

These are just a few scenarios, but with the same theme: change.

And I apply it differently each time depending on the scenario or idea, depending on who is in the wrong or not. The theme can be subtle to the point you have to read between the lines and really think on what’s happening to see it, or it can be really obvious right from the start and is fed to you with every action and word.

Every time I look at Sans and Frisk together no matter who’s portraying them, I see change.

The potential for it.

And that’s what I love most.

So that is how my Frans works, and incidentally, why I love the ship so much. 

I will continue to love that ship til the day I die and I will continue to write for frans no matter what, even if I lose interest in all other ships including insert you can bet I will continue to write about the funny skeleton man and the sweet hearted human.

They’re my ultimate power couple.

And if hearing this at all upsets anyone, more so my insert readers who I’ve heard the majority of backlash from since I first came out about my love for frans… (Seriously the DMs and anon hate was unreal - especially the... material I got sent and had to report at one point) Well, let’s just say that If you can’t handle me in my character shipping moods, then you don’t deserve me in my insert shipping moods, sorry.

Like I’ve said before, I love my readers and friends regardless if you agree or disagree with me, including on the ship or ship(s) I make stuff for, you’re allowed that right as people. And no I still won’t love you any less for your thoughts. Because again that’s how we’re supposed to be as people, mature enough to let bygones be.

I’m just saying, frans is life for me, and explaining why that is and always will be.

[pbandjesse]

Hello thank you for your patience! Are you picking up a day camper or overnight? Do you know the age or gender of your child? Also do you know where you're going?! I had to say that about 130 times in the last hour.

Pick up is so silly. I don't know how many people come and they just have no idea where they're going or anything about the person they're getting except their name. But everyone got picked up and I was able to leave only a little bit later than I had hoped. I really like doing the bears honestly I think it's fun. I just am so beat this summer. I tried my best to not burn myself out but the schedule was really rough. Today was a good day though. And that brings us to the end of another week of camp with only one week left.

I still didn't feel great this morning though. I did not take the new medication. Falling asleep was a little harder. And then I got woken up at 1:00 when James went to use the bathroom and then I knocked my tablet to the ground and they turn the light off while I was trying to find it because they didn't realize what was happening and I got very worked up. And then I was convinced my tablet was broken. And I was just not having a good time. And then when my alarm went off at 7:00 I was just sick I felt so tired. And I decided that I would sleep another hour. I always go in early anyway so it's not like it really matters. But that extra hour really was important.

When I did finally wake up I felt more like a person. I still didn't feel great but I thought that if I went and got food it would fix me. So I got dressed and I felt pretty cute. And I grabbed my backpack and I was out the door a little after 8:00.

I went to McDonald's and I got two hash browns to have for breakfast and I saved my sandwich for lunch. I would have a pretty solid drive into work. I listen to music. I tried to listen to a podcast but I just could not. I need to find something new to listen to I think. But it was still a nice ride and I got to camp right after pickup was over around 9:00. And went right up to arts and crafts after saying hello to a couple people on my drive-in.

I didn't have a lot to do. I knew I wanted to get more of my cleaning and organizing done today so after I took a brief walk and went down to the office to say good morning I would go up and get things ready. I had stopped to talk to Heather and let her know that I had so much trash and to please ask her daughter, Sophie, to come and grab the bags from me because that is her job this year. And then I talked to CJ for a bit. I told her I was feeling better but not perfect. And she seemed to be doing a little bit better today too. We had a nice big hug and then I went back up to work on my organization.

And I did get a good amount done this morning. I knew that woodlands would be late because they always are. But they were actually more on time than normal. I was cleaning when they showed up and they did a really good job all things considered. They made some really nice pieces and apparently they had a very dramatic night. They had their prank on the barber shop and accidentally shattered one of the windows. Boys are crazy.

I had pioneers next and it was a very small group. Just six little boys and they were very sweet. Everyone seemed to enjoy the art today and I enjoyed working with them. And while they were working on that I was working on sorting string. Because our yarn box has been destroyed. Everything is a big tangled mess. I had three CIT girls come up to help me and that was really fun. Two of the girls were sorting the string and one was playing with a string and trying to make her own knitting needles out of sticks. And she actually was able to cast on so that was pretty cool. She kept apologizing for something and I was like you didn't do anything and apparently it's like a thing. I know the people are like that and they just say sorry all the time even if they didn't do anything wrong It's like a tick. But I kept telling her you have nothing to apologize for you are totally fine.

during lunch I ate my sandwich and then I got right back into organizing. I was making great progress and I started labeling things. And I was super happy with that. Just finding new spots for everything. CJ and Sophie after getting the trash brought me two three drawer organizers and I was very excited to get those settled. And while I was there organizing who would show up but Lindsay! Lindsay from nature! I was so happy to see her she looked great. And we caught up for a little while and she told me about her job troubles and how alexie's giving her a reference somewhere and we just caught up and I told her about the wedding and me and James's plan to try to buy a house and have a child and all that kind of craziness. Be in a grown up! But it was just really nice to see her face because I've always really enjoyed her. And I told her that I would tell James that she says hello.

After she left I went right back in to organizing. I had an idea of how I was going to put all of the drawing utensils in the three drawer but then one of my things didn't fit and it had to change my plan but I came up with something better that I think will work better at the long run. And then I started sorting my markers into cups so that they could all be color organized. And it was just very productive. And that felt very nice.

When the group finally came I was happy to see them because their day camp one and they're very cute. Kenny put an acorn in my shirt pocket. He's so sweet and his language skills have really developed a lot this summer. He was speaking in sentences at the beginning but he talks way more now and it's just really nice to see him growing up. He's going to be five this month! That's so crazy

All the kids though today were really sweet. After my half hour break where I continue to just clean. Stockade came and they mostly wanted to do bracelets and a few of them did clay. And worked on organizing my string and putting away construction paper. I had a few different boxes. One that has fancy paper, then one for scraps, and then one for full sheets. I also moved some furniture around and opened up the space a little bit mostly in preparation for the tables to come inside. I'm very pleased that when I came to be a different space and I think that's really good.

The boys though were pretty interested in their bracelets and their place sculptures and they were too a really good. Manny told me some stuff about how things are going and I talked to Aaron about his plan to try to do homestead next year. I offered my help with lesson planning and he seemed to actually grateful which was really nice. Then we talked about movies and how I really loved Barbie because I'm really interested in the gendering of toys and that's what I would love to do a PhD program on Sunday. And then we talked about Oppenheimer and how I love rockets and Jack Parsons and I love all of that world war II storytelling. I don't really care about war but I care about the people behind it and I think I will really like the movie I just don't know what I will have time to watch a 4-hour movie. Not that I don't watch 4 hour things all the time but it's different watching it in my house while I'm doing other stuff. So we'll see if I see it in theaters or not.

then after the boys left I had my last group. And last group can sometimes be rough but they did a very good job even if they were complaining that there weren't very good things for their mosaics anymore. It wasn't even true because they ended up making very pretty pieces but there was no big stuff. Which is always an issue and I tried to space it out throughout the week but it is so hard. I was left with two small boxes of mosaic materials that I packed up and put on my shelf. And maybe next year I will be able to get more stuff we'll see.

Once they left I was really able to look over my whole building and see all the hard work and cleaning and organizing and everything that I did. All the labels make me just so incredibly happy and once I finish putting this week's project away I went through and made a poster for next week and I talked to Annabelle about getting the to make the project work the way I want to. And then Celia came up to bring me some materials that she had borrow. And she was like hey nobody's down in the field. this week was carnival. And there's a bounce house. And it's not being supervised right now. So we very quickly ran down and as we were getting there CJ Annabelle and Lindsay were also running down and so we were all in the bounce house together screaming and trying to go up and down the slide but it was too squishy and it was really difficult. But we were laughing and being very silly and it was a lot of fun. But then I was very light-headed because that was a lot of exertion that I am not used to. And it was hard to get out of bounce house. But once we were free of the bounce house I went back up to the art building and I had a snack. And was able to collect myself again. I finished up setting all my materials out for next week and chatted with Annabelle for a few minutes. I got in my car to drive down to the bears.

I stopped till Chris that he has to go look at how nice I made it look and then I texted Heather the same thing. Heather said that I did an amazing job. And then I was just waiting for parents. And everyone was really nice. I did have to hold them down there for like 10 minutes because I had been sending people up thinking that everything was ready but the kids were not ready to be picked up yet and we're not at their cabins with their medications and so with a whole thing. But I was able to make everyone feel like everything was okay and just be like a very calm presence and nobody was angry. I thanked everyone for their patients as they came through and little chats. I even had a nice moment with a parent who had the same sunglasses on his face. And around 6:15 I was curious if we were done and if I could go home. But they asked me to wait for an extra 10 minutes just in case. And as I was getting in the car ready to leave another parent pull through. And I directed them where they were supposed to go and then I was off.

I don't mind leaving this late because there is no traffic. But I am tired. And James hopefully got my text message about warming me up dumplings. If not I will take a shower first. I hope that you all have a very nice night. Tomorrow I am driving to New Jersey. To go to Jess's house for the very first time. I am so excited. I am so proud of her and I'm so excited to see the cute little house she got. And I just hope that we have the best time unpacking and making it a beautiful space for her. Or just continuing the trend organizing spaces.

Be well everyone. I hope that you are taking care of yourselves and each other. I love you all.

[saunteringvaguelydownwards]

OP was pre-Hells so now I'm thinking about how their found family dynamic compares. We have another group of only children (as far as we know) with the exception of Dorian. But that leads to an interesting consideration of the effect of loss and abandonment on their party.

Laudna's and Orym's families were killed.

Fearne and Imogen were abandoned by parental figures and left to grow up in less-than-ideal/normal situations

Ashton and FCG both had found families before and lost them.

Chetney is kind of a wild card. We don't know much about his past, but he's probably outlived any he had.

So then we come to Bertrand, who, as the organizer/recruiter of the Hells acted in a paternal capacity. But then he was murdered.

Dorian apparently was the only member of Bells Hells to have a solid familial background, and thus could function as a sort of barometer for the group. I seem to recall him and Orym being the 'tired stressed dads' of the group when Dorian was still there. But then Dorian left.

Finally we had Ariks Eshteross who also filled the paternal role. He gave them security and support and direction. But then he was murdered too.

So we're basically left with a ragtag assortment of three codependent pair-bonds and a wild card. None of them want to be in charge (either as eldest sibling or parent figure), and most of them have no experience operating in a large and/or healthy family dynamic.

Actually, when you think about it, the two members that had a previous found family, Ashton and FCG, are the ones who do most of the pushing for group unity and conflict resolution. Ashton specifically laid out some ground rules for group functionality very early on in the campaign, and FCG is a somewhat aggressively outgoing TherapyBot.

And you've also got Orym, who does have family experience but in a more traditional sense, but I get the sense he is uncomfortable in a position of authority. He's used to taking orders, so he mostly functions as peacemaker and moral compass, which he also seems uncomfortable with. I really enjoyed the conversation he and Ashton had where Ashton was like "it must be really stressful to be the level-headed guy in a group of people who all consider themselves ticking timebombs that might endanger their friends." It may be weird to say, but I don't think they've quite gelled as a cohesive group yet. Don't get me wrong, they're all ride-or-die at this point, but it still seems like three groups of two plus Chetney. I can see where some fledgling relationships are trying to branch out (Laudna with Fearne and Ashton, Chetney with Ashton and Orym, FCG with Imogen).

I think the problem they're running into is there has been SO much plot up to this point and the ticking clock counting down the apogee solstice has been looming over them with a sense of impending dread since early days. They had a couple episodes of smaller adventures but this Ruidus stuff feels like endgame-level trouble and there hasn't been much time to sit, take a breather, and bond in an organic way. I mean, for fuck's sake, I did the math a little while back and Laudna was only resurrected two weeks ago in-game. This timeline is fucking wild.

Anyhoo, those are just some thoughts I had. They were in the tags originally, but, well... things kinda spiraled.

ok i know there’s a lot of debate about the m9 vs vm and what kind of family they are and the whole ~dynamic~ and everything, so here’s my take:

the biggest difference is that vox machina consists of enough siblings to form a pseudo-family dynamic, while the mighty nein is made up almost entirely of extremely awkward only children who are making up the whole dynamic as they go along.

in vox machina, you’ve got keyleth and scanlan, only children.

pike and grog, together for long enough pre campaign that they are essentially siblings.

percy, vax, and vex, all intimately familiar with the sibling experience.

the thing about vox machina is that the siblings can keep the only children in check (who are of course always demoted to youngest in a friend group setting) as well as each other–since percy is a middle child, the twins are twins, and pike and grog are of similar ages, none of them would ever allow anyone to usurp the position of oldest child. keyleth and scanlan both have enough of the confidence of only children to keep themselves from being knocked down too far. it’s a perfect system of sibling and nonsibling checks and balances.

the mighty nein, on the other hand, consist entirely of only children (or functionally only children in beau’s case), with the exception of caduceus.

which means that the m9 is entirely “how does found family?? hugging? relationships? i was flirting and then it was RECIPROCATED?? are we allowed to fight??? is….jealousy?? how does forgiveness? awkward? why awkward??”

they’re building a unique dynamic entirely from the ground up. beau and caleb were the first ones to figure it out wrt the sibling system of checks and balances.

and in the MEANTIME, caduceus, being a middle child suddenly in a position to seize the position of eldest child, has tricked all of them into thinking that he knows what he’s talking about, and none of them know any better because they have never witnessed a middle child grab for power before.

[lopezletmebe]

Inevitable Failure

There is something about my co-parent supervising visitation that never sat well with me.

Maybe it's the fact that I truly perceived our relationship as a cycle of domestic abuse, him being the perpetrator.

Don't get me wrong, I have mental pathways that don't allow me to be fully emotionally available to what feels like danger.

It's dangerous, to live paycheck to paycheck as a parent of many children and it's even more dangerous, to never gain the fortitude to want to be better every single year.

Or it could be the fact that he has initiated sex many times which I felt obligated to give in to time and time again- at first it was because I actually really missed him and it and then it became a pattern of when I give in, I get more time with my kids.

What woman who longs for her children every single day wouldn't give in just to find out how it turns out, right?

Giving in became a natural thing and by no means did I really honestly think that we could reconcile because I've let it be known already- if it were to happen I would literally lose everything that I worked so hard to obtain and maintain over the last year within the first three to four months.

I feel like I live by it now and I will continue to do so. I've avoided being coerced into sexual activities to get more time with my kids just recently and it led to our St. Louis Zoo trip being canceled.

I've discontinued treating my body like a payment method and that quite possibly could be the result of paying a full-grown man that has been to active war twice, $1441 a month which was also first paid in full on our 4th wedding anniversary.

Listen here fellers and yellers, I do things with great purpose and may have sabotaged my relationship but buddy all you had to do was listen and get with the literal written-down program. My OCD ass doesn't allow me to have income without a written-down fixed budget to move my life forward in some way along the way.

The purpose of paying my child support in full on my 4th anniversary was first, since it was the first day after checking with the courts for at least 20 days but I also wanted to mark it as the last thing to tie me to him.

He can no longer ask me for any more assistance or to share my body, mind, and soul with him.

I gave more than enough of myself to try and create a good life with a man that I saw true potential in and that man just doesn't see the same potential in himself and carries too many insecurities from past adultery that I have nothing to do with.

It'll always be truly beyond me how my annual child support payment of about $17,000 will equal the balance he back owed in his child support- for his son to his ex wife that he continuously dodges left and right- when I first started to panic that I may have to figure out life all by myself with three sweet young babies because any day this man can be charged in contempt of court for his overdue child support. Yes, I said he dodged it.

And the last time was the last straw. He quit his last job for no solid reason and I was done for good.

I lost it internally. I truly believe I was not in the right state of mind when I said what I said to him over the phone while I put-together quesadillas and black beans for my munchkins. At least at that time, I know that I was selfishly only considering my own feelings as I got screamed at over the phone. But in hind sight, I can understand that my children may be confused by what they could have overheard from the other room- yet my actions towards my babies were kind and generous(feeding them their favorite lunch).

My actions weren't matching the words he kept saying to me over and over which made me feel like repeating it to him would make it stop.

No hunnies, instead the frantic man started saying that he would catch a ride home to save his kids from a delusion he created while I fed our sweet small children a balanced meal that I enjoyed with them through tears from fighting him to please stay at work. "We're finally getting out of the lower poverty line."

Failure of my marriage was inevitable and I saw it then and I went through with it knowing it and now I pay a hefty price but I can truly say that I live a modest and humble life.

I make good money but I have a beautiful grown woman who has been completely neglected by everyone and herself over the last few years, to take care of. First things first, my boudoir shoot in December..

I was never celebrated as a girlfriend, wife, mother, or mother, so I'm going to celebrate myself as a 30-year-old woman with prominent abs because keeping my mind on my own mind, body, and soul has helped to gain a level of respect for myself that I will never allow to dissipate.

[ryosmne]

Tattoo Artist! Sukuna x reader (part 3)

Hey there again, I had a few ideas of where i wanted to take the third part, I'm very happy with what I came up with, it's very very fluffy, I hope you have a good time reading 💜.

Series masterlist here

Here's a playlist for fluffy Sukuna

Warnings: Language, suggestive tones, alcohol consumption (everyone is of age here, around 21/22), nudity? Not really described, that's about it.

Saturday was slow for Sukuna, he doesn't really like working away his weekends, but here he is, finishing up a chest piece that looked good if he had to say so himself. Everything was luckluster to him compared to the project he was still drafting for y/n.

Speaking of her she hadn't texted him all day, neither did Sukuna. He told himself he wasn't clingy like that, she texted him before she would do it again surely. Y/n didn't pay much mind to him not making contact, perhaps he was busy. She wasn't wrong, she also had initiated most of their text conversations, she didn't want to seem desperate. Sukuna was going to contact her when he was free.

On the other hand Sukuna was stressed, passing in the hallway between the reception and his work booth, checking his phone every once in a while, he was a bit snappier than usual, not letting Gojo's or Megumi's remarks go, he would answer back, his voice almost dripping with venom, he was very much pissed and it showed.

When closing time finally came he was ready to blow up, Gojo teasing him, only made him more agitated. Gojo knew something was bothering him and he wasn't planning on dropping the subject.

"Hey 'kuna, tell the truth, you took her out and she left because she couldn't stand you, that's why you're so mad."

The white haired man joked, you could see the smoke coming out Sukuna's ears.

"Don't call me that. For your information, me and y/n had a great time, quit being an bumbass I'm not mad." Y/n did enjoy herself right? It sure looked like it. Was Sukuna getting insecure? Yes. Could everyone tell he was lying about not being mad? Also Yes.

"Oh so it's 'you and y/n' now? You were right Geto, he's got it real bad, he's not even calling her 'some girl' or something."

Gojo continued to laugh, he was enjoying every single second of torment he was putting Sukuna through.

He had enough though, he grabbed his jacket and his keys, but just before he left the rest of his crew and Yuuji, who came to eat with Megumi to close, he called to the most rational person inside. "Geto, come on I'll drive you home." Sukuna needed someone to talk to, he needed to know he was in the right and not going totally insane. Nanami was really close to him but relationships wasn't a topic he would really touch on. Gojo was out of the question, the man was a womaniser, not that it was a bad thing but he wouldn't even take Sukuna seriously, he only wanted to annoy him for the time being. Megumi was also a no. He would spill the beans to Yuuji, he already had Gojo on his ass he didn't need two more idiots making fun of him, one was barely tolerable. That only left Geto, who has at least had a few solid relationships and he was trustworthy enough not to give him too much shit.

Geto grabbed the chance not to have to clean for one night, but he was very curious about Sukuna's sudden move to give him a ride home, he has never offered that before. Yuuji had tipped him off, he knew his brother wanted to get all of the attention, if y/n didn't make a move, his brother would go insane. He was surprisingly right, so Yuuji told Geto to try and get his brother riled up. Now Geto didn't exactly agree, but he wanted to give Sukuna a friendly nudge to the right direction.

Sukuna had already been driving for a little while, he couldn't find the courage to open his mouth and talk. Has he gone mad? Its not like he's clueless about girls, he's had many. Why was it different this time?

"So how come you wanna drive me around at night?" The raven haired man asked, eyebrow raised, ready to hear what his friend was so on edge for all day, even though he had an idea. Sukuna wasn't one to share feelings, he never did, he couldn't really tell anyone the reason why not a single word from y/n all day irked him so damn much. "Look, so let's say there's this girl right? You take her out, you have fun, everything is cruising perfectly, but then she doesn't really talk to you the next day." He said with a small pause "hypothetically speaking" He added, just to avoid further questions.

Geto looked at him with a blank face, although he couldn't really believe in his ears, Yuuji was right, he knew his friend was falling face first, it still surprised him. He saw the day that Sukuna was stressed for a girl, if someone told him even two weeks ago that this was going to happen happen, Geto most definitely would've laughed straight in their face.

"Well it depends really, for example did you text her and she didn't answer? Then yeah, she's not interested, but maybe she's busy, or she started texting first and she wants you to initiate." Sukuna blinked "You're right she's busy, she has a test too, maybe she has been studying, she'll come around." He said, the words came fast out of his mouth. Geto looked at him again more serious this time. "Look man, I know for a fact, you haven't texted first, you seem to really like her, don't be a pussy and send her one text." His tone was equally serious. "I'm just fond of her, that's all she's good company." Sukuna tried to brush him off, Geto wouldn't budge. "Call it what you want, I know you like the feisty ones, so do many people and you know how college kids are, one party is all it takes to lead to who knows what. Man up, when you do you can bring her around the shop too, you know we all would love to meet her." By the time Geto finished his sentence, Sukuna had already parked outside of his apartment to drop him off, they shared their good nights.

For the rest of his lonely drive home Sukuna couldn't help but think of that party his brother mentioned a couple nights ago, was y/n going to be there? And Geto's words kept replaying in his head.

Geto was smiling to himself walking inside his apartment knowing he did the right thing giving his friend a slight push.

With her hair just the way she liked it, her make-up done and an outfit that extenuated her best features, y/n was making her way down the street to meet up with Mai outside of Todo's place. The walk wasn't too long and y/n caught a glimpse of her short haired friend, who was also dressed to impress, standing right out of Todo's door.

"You didn't wait long did you?" Y/n asked, Mai smilled and shook her head, she was the late one most of the time, she did make it just a second before y/n arrived.

"Let's go, my sister and Nobara are waiting" she informed y/n, who nodded. "Really, I haven't seen Maki in a while, Nobara rarely shows up in class too." She said full of excitement, the girls were friends for a long while, even before college. Mai and y/n ended up forming closer friendship.

"Yeah they're about to remind us of how single we are." Mai loved her sister with all her heart, she was very competitive though and when Maki got with Nobara before Mai could strike up a boyfriend in college, she took it a bit personally. Then she focused her attention on finding someone for y/n, but that never went well. Hopping right up the stairs both girls were talking about what they would see tonight, more accurately who. "So Yuuji is probably going to be here, I asked Todo" Mai said her eyes hopefull, y/n rolled her's and her companion didn't let it go unnoticed. "I really don't get you, he's cute, you even said so." There she goes again, but y/n wouldn't let it slide this time. "You seem way more giddy to see him, than I do." She said, knocking on Todo's door who was waiting right behind it, answering in seconds. Mai was still dumbfounded, she hardly acknowledged Todo at the door and made her way inside with y/n.

Thankfully the sofa on Todo's living room they usually sat on was only occupied by Maki and Nobara. "Wow sis you made it on time for once without someone dragging you out the house." Maki hugged her sister tightly, "I didn't really have a choice, y/n said she would go home if I was late again." Mai, said with a bit of a whine. Nobara went for y/n. "She's giving you hell huh?" Her comment made the girl laugh. "Nah she's fine, she can be a bit of a baby." That line made Mai slap her arm playfully, even when they made digs at each other, it was all in good fun.

Y/n could see Mai out the corner of her eye scanning the room, it wasn't unusual for her to do that, but it was the fourth time the past 30 minutes they've been here. Something was definitely up with her, and when she raised her hand having finally spotted the one she was looking for, y/n was a hundred percent sure of what was going on.

"Yuuji, over here" Mai called hand in the air, a very friendly smile on her face. Yuuji eagerly walked over offering his greetings, his attention was on y/n "Hey, has my brother texted you at all?" That was an out of the blue question. Mai gave her a look "His brother?" She questioned, then looked back at Yuuji "You've got a brother?" Why did he have to say that infront of Mai, she wouldn't leave her alone until she told her everything about the guy, she was at least thankful he didn't mention a date, Sukuna probably hadn't mentioned anything to him. "Oh yeah, he's the one I went to last week and no Yuuji he hasn't, did something happen?" Mai stayed silent, so did the other girls, they planned on interrogating her later, judging by the looks they exchanged. "Oh it's nothing" Yuuji let out a breathy laugh, knowing he plotted with Geto to get under his brother's skin. Payback for the bagels he baked at 4 am was going to be sweet.

Yuuji took a seat next to Mai, who introduced him to her sister, Nobara already knew him short of and the two of them begun chatting casually. Y/n could see the chemistry between them as he complimented the dark haired girl on the way she looked tonight. She could see their eyes meeting, something more than friendliness resided in the looks they shared.

Y/n let her friend have her fun, at this point Maki and Nobara had adopted her taking shots, talking about the annoying situations that have occurred in the time they hadn't seen each other. Nobara in particular, was sharing her frustrations about men not taking her seriously as Maki's significant other and continuing to make moves on her partner. "I shut them down" Maki said proudly snaking an arm around her girlfriend's waist. "I know you do, I just want them to feel a bit threatened" Nobara's eyes drifted to the floor . "What are you talking about? Remember the time you just looked at that guy eyeing her and he mouthed 'sorry'? You're very threatening." Y/n took another shot laughing with the two girls. Her comment was quite comforting to Nobara and Maki knew that things always went Nobara's way, she just liked complaining sometimes, she was the jealous type.

Todo with Takada in hand, who arrived right after y/n and Mai, answers his door again for the multipluth time this evening, seeing the last person he expected. "I thought you were too old for house parties" he taunted at the grumpy man infront of him. "Screw you I'm 26, and I didn't come empty handed" Sukuna spoke, his tone getting a bit friendlier at the last words in his sentence. He passwd the two bottles of vodka he held to Todo. "Well come on in, Yuuji's brother is also mine" he said giving the pink haired man a friendly hug.

Sukuna's eye scanned his living room untill his eyes landed on the back of y/n's head, he headed straight her way.

Y/n heard a few girls around her making a fuss over some apparently really hot guy who just entered, but she didn't bother turning around. That was until she heard it "Huh, who would've known, you actually have friends" That voice was unmistakably his. Sukuna was here. Y/n's heart was fluttering in her chest but the alcohol in her system made it easy to come up with a comeback. "At least I don't pay mine to hang around me." She said, her voice laced with sarcasm, she still didn't turn to face him, she was frozen in place. Mai's, Maki's, Yuuji's and Nobara's eyes were wide and dancing between the two. There was for sure something going on here. Sukuna took a seat beside her casually draping an arm around the back of the sofa. "You're hurting my feelings doll, I'm not that bad" he spoke so softly, she almost got lost looking into his eyes. He looked way too good for her liking, same jewelry and eyeliner as the last time she saw him, his pink her strategically messed up, a silk black button down with the top two buttons undone, exposing his defined collarbones and the tattoos that extended to his chest and neck, black pants framing his thighs perfectly as he sat. Y/n was staring at this point, her friends were silent, taking in the image that was displayed before them. They had never seen y/n flustered or having difficulty forming words. Even Yuuji was surprised, seems like he was wrong about y/n's taste.

Sukuna was enjoying the look on her face a little more than he cared to admit, he would've taken his teasing further, but he didn't want to embarrass the girl anymore and her friends were already shocked. "Aren't you going to introduce me?" He asked her poking her cheek, and y/n could see Nobara was about to blow up.

"Right, Mai, Maki and Nobara this is Sukuna, he's um my tattoo artist?" What was she even supposed to say at this point? The guy she went on a date with and had the best make out session of her life?

Sukuna gave his hand out to the girls greeting them, he noticed his brother a few seats over who was concealing a laugh "you're here too brat" he briefly egnowledged him, Yuuji hummed back a hello in return, turning to Mai who was very eager to hear the details of y/n's and Sukuna's relationship, he sure as hell didn't look like just her tattoo artist.

"Tattoo artist? Really? you don't even have tattoos y/n" Nobara spoke, she just wanted her friend to be honest with her, if she had someone special, she could have said so, they've known each other for years. Sukuna wasn't surprised to hear that y/n hadn't shared that she got tattooed, he could tell she was a bit of a private person.

Y/n took off her jacket that she still had on from when she arrived, to show off the design to Maki and Nobara, Mai had already seen it and she was busy gossiping with Yuuji anyways. "Right, I forgot to tell you" she said, as Maki and Nobara scanned her upper arm with their eyes, so did Sukuna. He couldn't help himself, y/n looked so beautiful in his work. He wanted to cover every inch of her skin she was willing to give him, she could be his personal work of art, she already was one, but he wanted to decorate her in the best way he could and with the most beautiful art he could make. "That looks so beautiful" Maki spoke in awe, Nobara gave a little laugh "it's creepy, but it's really you. "

She took a look at Sukuna then back at y/n "It's very fitting, I don't know how to explain it." She continued.

Sukuna never took compliments that seriously, but hearing y/n's seemingly bitchy friend praise his work and the perception he had of her made him grin widely.

The four of them continued to speak, Maki and Nobara were very interested in Sukuna's line of work, Mai and Yuuji also took their turns in talking when they weren't too busy with one another. Y/n's friends were doing great with Sukuna, she thought he would be really difficult, he has a very explosive personality. Sukuna was putting in all the effort to make a good impression, both to y/n and the ones around her.

"So, did you miss me that much you came to find me?" Y/n asked once the attention was taken off of them. Mai looked to be having a deep conversation with Yuuji whereas Maki and Nobara got up to dance. "And if I did?" Sukuna spoke, his face dangerously close to hers, when did he manage to get hip to hip with her? Then again y/n had grown so comfortable around him, she didn't notice.

"Well, if that's the case, I'm glad you did come." She replied, Sukuna could tell she was a bit tipsy, else he would be making out with her on that sofa not caring who was watching.

Y/n poured herself another drink, thank god she didn't have to get up to get a refill, but Sukuna's voice stopped her movements. "Maybe you should ease up there" he said watching her fill two cups.

Y/n raised a brow at him "since where are you a party pooper? come on it ain't a party without a drink" her voice was playful as she tried passing one cup to him. Sukuna liked this y/n too, she was a bit more giggly, she smiled a bit more, "I'm driving sweetheart". Y/n was satisfied with his answer and proceeded to gulp down on both the cups she filled before Sukuna could stop her. She laughed pointing at him with her tongue out "too slow". Sukuna could only smile and pat her head. She was something else.

Somewhere along the night, Maki and Nobara disappeared and so did Yuuji and Mai. "You better tell your brother to take good care of my friend" y/n's state was getting worse, or more hilarious, it depended on how you looked at it. Sukuna would straight up laugh with some of the things she said, and he was trying his best to keep all forms of alcohol away from her, for her own good. "I don't think you should worry, Yuuji is much better than me in these kinds of things." He replied honestly, but y/n didn't necessarily see it like that. "There's no way he's that smooth" she trailed, the corners of her lips tugging upward. "Well if I didn't know any better, I'd say you liked me, didn't you think I was a dick?" Sukuna asked "Still do" her smile only grew wider.

One thing was for sure, y/n was very demanding when drunk, Sukuna left her side for the first time all night to get her some water, cause she felt 'like SpongeBob under that lamp drying out'. Not even slightly bothered by her request, Sukuna was on his way back to her, that's when he saw some guy standing infront of her trying to talk to her. Y/n even in her not very conscious state didn't tolerate people who didn't respect her "Just one song, come on it won't hurt, you're alone after all" the guy, y/n didn't care to catch the name of said "look, I don't dance, not unless the company is worth it, and I'm here with someone, leave me alone, this is getting annoying" Sukuna observed laughing to himself. He didn't feel the need to intervene yet. Y/n didn't like getting bossed around that's for sure, nor did she need a knight in shining armour to protect her, not that he would mind doing that. Sukuna casually sat down beside her again, ignoring the guy who was still standing there for some reason. That irritated him, it was enough that he tried to make a move on her, but not leaving while he was right there rubbed him the wrong way, "Here you go sweetheart" He said handing her the glass, praying that she won't drop and break it, he threw a glare at the guy who finally took the hint and left. "Thank you 'kuna." Y/n spoke, in a tone totally different from the one she had moments ago.

The nickname alone made his heart jump. Gojo was quite annoying when he called him that, but hearing the same word rolling out of y/n's tongue was completely different. Sukuna couldn't tell why he was feeling that way, he didn't care though, all he knew was that even the air smelled sweeter, when he was around her.

"You don't dance unless the company is good?" He asked, genuinely curious "well yes, if I feel comfortable I'll dance, but I don't really do it that much" she said, eyes heavy looking all over Sukuna's frame. " I see, how about we dance?" Sukuna suggested, he rarely danced himself, y/n made him want to get out of his comfort zone, hell he's already at a house party thanks to her.

"Only if you take some shots with me." She smilled at him malevolently. "You're playing dirty, who's going to take you home if I'm drunk?" Sukuna just wanted to hear her drunken logic "It probably takes a bottle for you to get drunk, you're clumsy, drunk or not, you're probably going to kill me if I get in your car".

Sukuna was full blown laughing, but she was right, her head was still not gone, she could walk and talk fine, she was just more talkative and cheerful, couple of shots wouldn't hurt, he could walk her home after since she lived close by, he remembered the way and then walk back home himself. She also gave him the cutest look he'd ever seen, how could he deny her?

"Ok you win" he raised his hands in defeat and y/n couldn't be happier. She poured 4 shots for them, which they quickly consumed and they were off to dance.

She never pictured him as a dancer, y/n saw Sukuna as the very cool looking dude standing on the bar, probably drinking whiskey with a bit of ice.

Looks can be deceiving, Sukuna was spinning her around, their bodies were pressed together, guiding each other to the beat. Eyes were meeting, body heat was exchanged, they fit like puzzle pieces even like this. Y/n kept looking at the exposed skin of his neck, why did he have to look like that and be this close, her face only grew warmer once her eyes met his and then dropped to his lips. Its not that Sukuna didn't want to kiss her, he would most certainly prefer her to be sober and remember it clearly the next day.

Those last two shots y/n had, in addition to Sukuna's body against hers, made her vision a bit blurry and her knees weak. "Hey doll, everything ok? You with me?" He shook her lightly by the shoulders, he could tell she was growing tired and he noticed how her demeanor changed. "Mhm, I'm sleepy 'kuna" there she goes again, making his heart skip beats. Y/n would be giving him so much shit had she realised she made him feel like that. "Ok then, how about we take you home ?" Sukuna's voice was so mellow, almost like he was talking to a toddler.

He guided her out of the crowded house, Todo was nowhere to be found, so Sukuna couldn't really let him know he was leaving.

Y/n was leaning on him, walking slowly down the street towards her place, but she abruptly stopped and sat down.

"What's wrong?" Sukuna asked, his sound as mellow as before. She was down right adorable, sitting there with a pout of her face .

"My feet hurt" y/n complained, dramatically throwing her arms around, if it was any other person Sukuna would've droped them to fend for themselves. "Really? That's sad" he replied, dropping down to her level, she only nodded, women's shoes are the most uncomfortable thing in the world. Sukuna scooped her up in his arms and carried her bridal style the rest of the way, he couldn't have her complaining and it wasn't like she would remember much either. With her arms wrapped securely around his neck, y/n could feel the warmth creeping up her neck all the way up to her ears, she didn't see the satisfied smile Sukuna wore.

Today went a lot better than he expected. So well that the tiredness got to y/n before they reached her apartment. Sukuna watched as she fell asleep in his arms. What a strange girl, she had both shyness and attitude, she was dancing her heart out no more than 15 minutes ago yet she still managed to fall asleep as he carried her.

Reaching her building, luckily the main entrance was unlocked. Sukuna took a peek at her, he couldn't bring himself to wake her up, she looked so peaceful, but unfortunately he had to. "Hey, which floor are you on?" He whispered softly, that was enough to shake y/n awake. "Third" she whispered back. Sukuna took the elevator up, and he finally reached her hallway, he only wished she didn't get her floor wrong or it would look like he was trying to break into someone else's house. "Doll, can you point your door for me? I'll put you down for a bit, where are your keys?" Y/n pointed at her door, handed Sukuna her keys and groaned as he set her down to unlock it for her. "You're such a brat" he pointed out swinging the door open, her annoyed face looked even cutter under the barely lit hallway.

Lord knows how Sukuna managed to find the light switches in the dark but he made it, y/n looked completely out of it now. He picked her back up and tried a few doors to find her bedroom. He gently layed her on the mattress. Y/n groaned again and said something about being uncomfortable. Of course she was uncomfortable, with her clothes still on from going out, there's no way she wasn't.

He shouldn't care right? He should just let her be and go home, but Sukuna could already tell she would have an awful nights sleep and he wanted her to rest properly. "Were do you keep sleep clothes" he asked, y/n pointed lazily at some drawer. After briefly digging in the drawer, he took out a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie for her.

He reached her frame again, undoing her shoes, sliding them off, next he prompted y/n with her side resting on the headboard so he could have her sit up with her legs dangling of the side of her bed. His hands found the rim of her shirt, her voice stopped him "don't look ok?" Her voice was hardly above a whisper. "I won't look"

"Promise?" She asked holding out her pinky

"promise" he stated locking it.

Sukuna averted his eyes from her body and helped her into her comfy clothes. Only one thing remained "Now come on time to get your makeup off"

"Nooo, I want to sleep" she complained loudly, dropping her body backwards on the bed. "Come on, it's not good for your skin, it will just be a minute, just be good for me" he said grabbing her hand, but y/n turned her head away. That's when Sukuna threw her over his shoulder, the most she could do was weakly hit his back and tell at him to put her down.

Sukuna sat her somewhere in her bathroom, while she still mumbled about being sleepy. He got a washcloth wet, and took a look at the products in her cabinet, she surely had an oil cleanser he just had to find it... bingo.

He pushed her hair out of the way and gently applied and massaged the product on to her skin, giving her instructions to keep her eyes and mouth close, he was extra careful not to cut her with his nails, then he used the washcloth to remove all the make-up that melted off. Sukuna also wore liner, not all the time but often enough to know that some things didn't come off with soap and water. He takes care of himself, his skin, his hair, his nails, everything. He knows a bit more than he's willing to share. Next he followed the same steps with her cleaner, y/n was enjoying herself, half asleep under his touch. He finished everything by applying a serum and a moisturizer on her face. "You've got the cheap stuff." He joked. "Hey it works" y/n defended as he picked her up once more.

This time he layed her under the covers, he pulled them up over her body, looking at her with plain adoration, he leaned down to press a kiss on her forehead.

"Sleep tight, I'll text you." He whispered in her ear, turning around to leave. A hand tugged oh his wrist, the same way he had done to her a couple days ago. Y/n was looking at him with pleading eyes "please stay" she almost begged, "are you sure? Its really late" he said, y/n nodded patting the spot beside her, he couldn't say no to those eyes. He quickly got rid of his shoes and dress shirt, he disappeared to the bathroom to take off his eyeliner and got under the covers with her.

Y/n curled up next to him, laying her head on his chest, taking in all his warmth and scent while listening to his heartbeat, his arm was wrapped securely around her.

" Can I ask you something?" Y/n's voice broke the silence. "Didn't you want to sleep?" Sukuna teased, and y/n took the opportunity to ask anyway. "Why do you like me?" What kind of question is this? Sukuna blamed the fact that she was a bit out it. She had no reason to be insecure, she was stunning and she also had a personality to back up her looks. "Let's see... you're kind of a badass, no one really talks back to me like you do, you're quite easy on the eyes too" what he said was very true, but he was falling for the little details too. The way she picked mindlessly at her food as she talked when he took her out, or the way her eyes sparkled when something peaked her interest. Even her drunken self had him feeling things he never did.

"How come you were single? Judging by your friends it's been a while" The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them, but y/n didn't give any signs of being bothered by his assumption. "Honestly, I don't want someone to fall out of love and leave me behind" Drunken words are sober thoughts. Sukuna didn't want to ask if that had happened to her before, he didn't care, he would do better than whoever hurt her.

More moments passed with him rubbing comforting circles on her back, he was sure she was asleep, her breath was slow and steady against his chest. "I wonder, what would you say if I asked you to be mine?" Sukuna whispered, staring up at her ceiling. "I'd say yes, airhead" y/n mumbled. Sukuna's eyes widened, she wasn't supposed to hear that. "I'll make sure to ask you soon then" he said, y/n looked up at him, this time he couldn't help himself and captured her lips in his, in a very slow passionate kiss. It didn't last long but it was enough to keep y/n's head spinning around with him running through it. "Sleep already, brat"

"okay 'kuna".

The light coming in, beaming through her curtains, woke y/n from a very peaceful sleep, now all she felt was the vodka she consumed the night before. Her head was pounding hard, she reached for her phone on her nightstand. Instead of her phone, her hand made contact with a piece of paper.

Good morning doll.

You're most definitely feeling like shit, but don't worry you didn't do anything too embarrassing. Unfortunately I had to go to work early and you looked cute sleeping, I didn't want to wake you. There are pain killers next to you, you must have a hell of a headache. Don't forget to eat, I made breakfast for you in the kitchen (with all I could manage to find, you should go grocery shopping more often). Text me or I might think you died in your sleep. Have a wonderful day y/n.

- Sukuna

PS I took a peek in one of your notebooks. I was right, your handwriting is really fucking bad.

Of course he had to be his usual smug self, y/n found herself laughing at the words scribbled on the paper that was obviously ripped out of one of her notebooks. His handwriting was as pretty as his drawings, so aesthetically pleasing. He had even taken time to doodle coffee cups, and some trees at the bottom of the page.

The events from the previous night were starting to flood back to her head head. She took the pain killers Sukuna left out for her, he was kind enough to place a glass of water on her nightstand too. Y/n couldn't believe Sukuna not only stayed over, but he also put in so much effort for her, he certainly didn't look like the type to do so.

Walking in her kitchen, what she witnessed, exceeded all her expectations. When she read breakfast she thought he made her a sandwich, which she would've been extremely grateful for. Sukuna had gone all out, from pancakes, to French toast, an omelet and even her coffee served. She just stood there looking at her table, mouth almost hanging.

Her phone buzzed in the pocket of her sweat pants.

You should've told me you were going out with Yuuji's hot brother. I would've never guessed that's your type.

Mai seemed to be in a mood to tease her.

You're right I should've told you, your turn, where did you and Yuuji run off to last night?

Y/n laughed knowing it was going to take a while to get a response. She sat down looking at all the choices she had, wondering what to pick. It's safe to say everything was as delicious as Sukuna.

I'm impressed. You draw, you cook AND you didn't burn down my house, I'm very thankful for that (breakfast was delicious too).

Sukuna, stared down at his phone, all the stress he had two nights ago long forgotten. Only thing that remained was to get y/n right back in his chair.

Happy to hear you're alive and kicking and you enjoy my cooking. I've got to go through, some dickbag wants me to do a cover-up. I'll talk to you later.

He dealt with this client in an unusually polite manner. Y/n had brighten his morning from the moment he woke up next to her.

Bonus Domain shenanigans: "Yuuji was right, I had to push him" Geto said to an agitated Gojo, who wanted to get under Sukuna's skin for a little longer. "Then hopefully he will bring her over, that would for sure be fun, he's going to get so worked up if we give her any attention." Gojo was rubbing his hands together at the thought. "I don't think that's a good idea. I'm not that worried about what Sukuna will do to you, we've both seen y/n, she doesn't even take his shit, I think she'd hit you." Nanami pointed out ."Well I haven't yet seen her, Yuuji said she was nice to him." Megumi joined the conversation remembering his friend talking about the girl, he had zoned out for half of it though. "I haven't seen her either, I did hear her though, she doesn't sound like she would let you pull something like that to him" Geto spoke again. "Nah she looked friendly, we can for sure make him foam at the mouth" Gojo plotted. "I can guarantee, she will rip of your head of if you try your shit." Sukuna was sure of it too.

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[whimsicallyreading]

You Don’t Even Go Here

Day Two for Rowaelin Month

A college AU

~

Aelin grins mischievously as she walks up the stairs of the men's dorm at Terresan University. The teal-blue waffle iron clutched under her arm.

Aedion didn't really need it. It had been on the fifty-percent-off rack at the supermarket, and he'd simply thrown it in the cart for good measure. Yet, when Aelin saw the box for it laying the hall, she'd seen opportunity.

It had hit her harder than she'd thought. Aedion leaving. They'd been raised like siblings but grew up something closer to best friends. It wasn't fair that he was nearly three years older and ready to leave when she wasn't prepared for him to go.

Aelin had cried the whole car ride home. Then when they finally got back to the house, she'd called him right away. He could hear how teary she was and happily obliged her call. Narrating his actions as he went about setting up his dorm room. He teased her about missing him, but she could tell that he missed her too.

So, armed with an excuse to visit him, Aelin made the hour-long drive to visit her cousin.

Aelin was halfway up the stairs but not paying too much attention to her surroundings. She was too busy repeating Aedion's room number over in her head because no matter how many times she checked her phone, it just wouldn't stick in her head. Maybe if she'd focused a little more on the things happening around her, she wouldn't have crashed into a half-naked man.

A solid and calloused hand darts out and grips her shoulder before she can go tumbling down the stairs. Its twin desperately clutching the towel wrapped around his waist.

Aelin looks up apologetically, and her jaw nearly falls to the floor. His white hair was still damp from the shower and swooped over the top of his head, and his biceps were too large for Aelin to wrap both hands around. An intricate tattoo coils elegantly from a cheekbone and down the length of his body.

He was a man indeed. Nothing like Chaol or Dorian or any of her junior friends. This was a new breed of man. The apex kind. Aelin is pretty sure she looks like a deer in the headlights, and she's too busy ogling him to understand the words he'd been repeating to her.

"Are you okay?" His eyebrows are furrowed as if he's afraid he'd literally struck her stupid. Aelin felt that wasn't far from the truth.

"Yes, sorry," she apologizes as she steps back, suddenly very aware of how in his personal space she was. "I wasn't paying attention. You just caught me by surprise."

Aelin was definitely panicking. Where was her swagger when she needed it most? Why would it choose now to abandon her?

By some miracle, he doesn't seem off-put by her awkwardness. In fact, a smile curls the edges of his lips, revealing a set of dimples that made her heart stumble.

Gods he had dimples.

"No, I ran into you. It's my fault. My name is Rowan.”

He holds out a hand, and Aelin shakes it clumsily. "I'm Aelin."

"Aelin." She loves the way her name rolls off his tongue. "I haven't seen you around before. Are you a freshman?"

Oh no. Aelin's eyes widen, but she recovers swiftly and smooths her features out. Rowan thinks she's a student. Not some crazy high schooler too emotionally dependent on her cousin.

"I'm actually a junior," Aelin laughs at his perplexed expression. "I don't go here, though. I'm just stopping by to drop off some things my cousin forgot."

White lies. What was a white lie worth? Aelin likely wouldn't ever see him again, and is it so wrong for a girl to enjoy some harmless attention? If Aelin spent more time thinking about it, she probably wouldn't like the answers she'd come up with, but that was neither here nor there.

"Is that a waffle maker?" Rowan's green eyes glint with amusement.

"My cousin loves to eat. What year are you?" Aelin crosses her fingers that he's the same age as Aedion and not a senior or something. Her cousin would murder her if he found out she flirted with a man five years older.

"Don't we all? I'm a sophomore, a bit younger than you, I suppose." Rowan drags a hand through his hair. "Listen, I know you came to see your cousin, but maybe I could get your number, and we could get a cup of coffee before you head out?"

Was this really happening? Aelin inwardly squealed with excitement. Lysandra would die when she recounted this story later. "Sure."

Just as she pulled her phone from her pocket, an all too familiar voice materialized behind her. "Aelin?"

Aedion smiles as he lays eyes on his beloved cousin. He takes a couple steps down the stairs, and that grin quickly fades as he sees the naked man.

Oops, she'd forgotten that detail.

"Rowan?" Aedion's eyes harden as they lock on Rowan. "Why the hell are you ogling my cousin with no clothes on?"

"You know him?" Aelin swears under her breath. She cannot believe her luck.

Aedion laughs coldly as he sizes up Rowan, "He's my roommate, but he's about to be a corpse. Why are you perving on my seventeen-year-old cousin?"

Rowan's looks between the bewildered. "You said you were a junior?"

Aedion laughs harshly as Aelin blushes. "I am...just in highschool. Not college. I told you I didn't go here."

"I didn't realize I was rooming with a pedophile," Aedion grabs Aelin and pulls her to his chest. "Was he bothering you?"

"Pedophile?" Rowan's dimples have disappeared, and he looks at Aedion disturbed. "I'm only nineteen!"

Aelin shoves away from Aedion's boorish grip. "The only one bothering me is you."

Rowan's cheeks are flushed red as the full impact of the situation they were found in dawns on him. Damn it if Aelin didn't find his blush endearing. He is a solid chunk of muscle. How is everything he does so cute?

"Look, I just got out of the shower, and I bumped into Aelin. It was an accident. She was just on her way to give you your waffle maker-"

"You brought my waffle maker?" Aedion cuts Rowan off, eyeing the box under her arm.

That's when Aelin sees it. The twinkle of mischief in his eye and the forced concern. Aedion was playing her. He obviously knew Rowan wasn't a creep and saw the perfect opportunity to cause chaos. Aelin scowls at him, and that spark grows brighter. It's moments like this she wonders why she ever missed her cousin in the first place.

Aedion tugs the box out of her grasp and smiles. "Wow. This is perfect timing. Vaughn and Fen were just talking about making breakfast for dinner." He looks at Aelin and forces a frown. "If I'd known you were coming, I would have invited you, but it would kind of be rude to bring a guest now."

"What?" Aelin sputters. She drove all this way, and he was really going to ditch her? It was embarrassing, but tears prickled at the edges of her eyes. He was an ass, but she obviously came because she missed him, and he didn't even care? She really thought they were closer than that.

"Yeah. Sorry, Lin." Aedion points at Rowan, who was just standing to the side, thoroughly uncomfortable. Yet, despite the awkwardness, he hadn't left. "Hey, you owe me one for creeping on my little cousin. Earn my trust back and see that she has something for dinner and gets to her car safely? She has my phone number, one bad text, and your ass is grass."

Aedion tosses her a wink, and it's all Aelin can do to keep from outright gaping. Rowan looks stunned, his eyes darting between the two Ashryvver's. They settle on Aelin for a moment too long. Some of the tension eases from his shoulders, and he smiles. "I think I can manage that."

"Good." Aedion turns back up the stairs pats the box. "Thanks for bringing it to me, Lin. I'll call you tomorrow, don't send me to voicemail."

Just like that, her cousin, a walking, talking agent-of-chaos, disappears back to wherever he came from.

"So," Rowan starts, "If you want, I know a perfect Italian place we could swing by, my treat seeing as I plowed into you."

Aelin frowns and fiddles with the end of her necklace. "You aren't upset that I lied?"

"You didn't lie." Rowan chuckles, a deep sound that sends a shiver of delight down Aelin's spine. "You don't go here."

Aelin tilts her head as if she's deeply considering the offer. "I suppose it couldn't hurt. What's good there?"

"They have an awesome kabob." Rowan tugs his towel tighter. "It's my favorite."

It's Aelin's turn to laugh. "Isn't that just meat on a stick?"

"Let's go, and I can show you how profoundly wrong you are," he moves to take a step down, but Aelin stops him with a hand to the shoulder. "What is it?"

Aelin points to his towel, "I don't think they will serve guests without pants."

The flush that Aelin loves his back full force as he scrambles the other direction up the stairs. "Shit. Give me five minutes. I'll be right back. Aedion better have not locked out or I swear-"

Rowan's embarrassed tirade quiets as he charges up to his dorm to change. Aelin smiling as he goes. She can't believe she's going out to dinner with a guy like that.

Opening her phone, she sends a quick heart emoji to her cousin. He instantly replies back with one of his own. Aedion may have moved to college, but he still had her back at the end of the day. Even if it wasn't in the most ideal way.

Rowan comes back down the stairs moments later, and she's not disappointed by what she sees. He took the time to put on a flannel shirt and comb some gel through his hair. While the view without clothes had been pleasant, Aelin could definitely appreciate this look too.

"I'm ready if you are," Rowan extends an arm to help her down the stairs.

It's such a fussy, old-man move, and she loves it.

"Let's go."

[sunflowershouto]

only us - part one (daichi x f!reader x oikawa)

𝐚/𝐧: hi beans! i got this idea for a series listening to one of my favorite albums and i really hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!! there is some canon divergence just for the purposes of the story: daichi is a detective, and oikawa is a pro-player in japan. as always, any feedback is greatly appreciated! enjoy! -leo

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After getting out of a long term relationship, Y/N is reunited with an old friend from college. Old feelings are reignited, but things just don't seem to work out the way that they should.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: pining, mentions of infidelity in the context of a past relationship

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: slowburn, love triangle 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.8k

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨: animal - annie eve

❝𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒊'𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕. . .❞ ❝𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏 𝒊 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆. . .❞

𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐔𝐒

‧₊˚✩彡.

The previous weeks had been what Y/N could only describe as a gravity-well, the center of which she was trapped in. She couldn’t outrun the heaviness in her chest, and her mind was all spinning circles and revolving doors that were moving too fast for her to escape from.

However, the pace of her career was relentless, and being a journalist meant that there was no time for her to take pause or wallow in the misery of a freshly-ended relationship—if she wanted to survive in her field, she would have to keep moving and moving and moving, with that gravity-well following overhead.

The soles of her shoes clicked softly against the linoleum tile of the Tokyo Police Department’s main office, her demeanor giving away none of the turmoil that was simmering within. She was polite and professional as she explained that she was a journalist there to speak to one of the detectives about a case she was working on, and to any onlooker, she might have even seemed cheerful.

She was led down a long hallway into one of the offices, given a seat in front of a large mahogany desk, and told to wait.

Y/N found that as of late, she hated having any sort of down-time that might force her into stillness. She couldn’t see the clock that hung over the doorway behind her, but she could hear it—she could feel it. It ticked monotonously, and with each forward stroke of the second hand, she felt like she was sinking further and further into herself. The heaviness in her chest crept up on her and became crushing as she was allowed time to think: about the sight of someone she didn’t recognize lying in her bed, lying in the arms of her partner. About the signs that she had been ignoring for the weeks leading up to it. About how silent her apartment was when she came home in the evenings when there was no one else there to fill the space. It had been months, and she was still trapped as though it had all happened yesterday.

She tapped her foot impatiently against the ground, challenging the slow rhythm of the clock as though the frenzied tempo of her agitation could force the seconds to pass faster.

Eventually, the door behind her swung open, and the detective stepped into the room.

“Excuse me for being so late,” came a deep and almost familiar voice from behind her. She stood and turned to face him, eager for something to snap her out of her trance, but was forced back into stillness as recognition settled over her. “Daichi?”

Sure enough, earnest dark eyes stared into her own, and for a moment, as a wide grin split across his face, the gravity-well that loomed over her finally seemed to let up.

He stepped towards her, both of them abandoning any semblance of formality. “Y/N, I can’t believe it’s really you. It’s been…” “Forever,” she supplied, flashing him a warm and sheepish smile.

“Yeah. Forever.” Daichi’s gaze was piercing as he took her in, staring for just a moment too long before moving to take his place behind his desk. He carded through a few files on his desk before pulling one rather decisively from the stack.

It was Y/N’s turn to stare, taking in the way he moved about his surroundings with relaxed authority, as though he knew exactly where he belonged. He hadn’t changed at all since college, not one bit. She couldn’t take her eyes away, even as he glanced up at her through his lashes, head still tilted down towards the papers in his hands.

She was stuck like that, lost in his dark and steady gaze, her heart seeming to stutter to life in her chest.

“L/N?”

‧₊˚✩彡.

“L/N! Don’t get too far ahead!” Daichi scolded lightly, fondness in his eyes as he watched Y/N skip ahead of him, carnival lights reflecting like stars in her eyes. Her joy was contagious to him, like a flame in his hands that he wanted to keep kindling and protecting.

“Stop being such a worry-wart, Dai,” she laughed over her shoulder. Her arms were wrapped adamantly around the plushie that he’d won her just a few minutes ago, a blue penguin that smiled vacantly no matter how tightly she squeezed him. “Do you think we could go on the Ferris Wheel? I bet we could see the whole city from the top!” He nodded, quickening his pace to keep up with her. They were walking side by side now, and Daichi had made plans for this exact scenario—he’d brush his hand gently against hers, and find a natural opening to intertwine their fingers. The only thing that stood in the way was the round blue penguin that she had named ‘Squish.’ He shot a sidelong glare down at the unassuming plushie that was currently occupying Y/N’s arms, mentally cursing the stupid thing for ruining his plans. “One ride on the Ferris Wheel, and then home, alright? You have a lecture tomorrow and you’ll be grouchy tomorrow if you stay out so late.”

Y/N turned to face him in mock-offense, sticking her tongue out and hugging Squish closer. “What? I don’t get grouchy!”

“Maybe ‘unpleasant’ would be a better wor—agh!” He broke out into warm laughter as her elbow collided softly with his side, and he held up his hands defensively as if to finally relent. “Alright, alright!” “I’ll have you know, I am delightful always,” she insisted, beaming triumphantly.

And there was that smile again, the one that felt like fire in his hands and made his mind go blank and his body feel like there was lightning inside. “Yeah,” Daichi agreed softly.

‧₊˚✩彡.

“And that’s the basics of what we have so far. Unless we have some sort of solid proof, I have no way to make the arrest. It’s been months and… Nothing,” Daichi sighed wearily, flipping the case-file shut and leaning back in his desk chair, a frown etched deep into his features. His coat was draped across the back of his chair and his shirtsleeves were rolled up to his elbows, markers of the hours that had passed since he and Y/N had begun discussing the Suzuki case.

The department had been investigating Goichi Suzuki for years, with strong suspicion that his company was partially a front for drug-trafficking. Evidence had always been circumstantial, and leads seemed to disappear as soon as they turned up, frustrating even the best of the department’s detectives. Sawamura, however, had refused to give up.

“Daichi.” Her voice was clear, almost lyrical, as she addressed him. Her own concerns were momentarily abandoned as she worked to tether him, to pull him out of the frustration that she knew could be so crippling. “We’re going to catch him.”

“Right.” His expression seemed lighter now, lifted in determination and renewed confidence. “Well… That’s about all we can do today until you can speak to your sources. Thank you for agreeing to help me, Y/N.” It wasn’t what he was saying, so much as how he was saying it—nothing he had said, if repeated back on paper, would sound anything but professional and polite. It was the way that his eyes shone, and his voice warmed up to her like honey on a hot day that told her that his ‘thank you’ was more than just business. She was almost suffocated by how deeply she had missed him, but she knew what this was—she was starting to rebound. She had just gotten out of a relationship that had ended in a messy breakup. Of course her old feelings would be amplified, especially when he was being so damn inviting.

“Of course, Daichi.” She could only watch as he pushed himself out of his chair and circled around to the other side of his desk, then took perch on the front corner just in front of her, his body language now completely casual.

He tilted his head slightly as he took a closer look at her, his face scrutinizing but not-quite judgemental. “So. What’s wrong?”

“Huh?” Y/N shrunk back beneath his gaze, suddenly much more conscious of how she was holding herself, what she was presenting to the world around her. Stop looking at me like that, damnit… Had she really made it so obvious that she was carrying around her own personal baggage? Great. She could add looking unprofessional to her ever-growing list of things to worry about. “What do you mean?”

“It’s been a long time, and you’re good at hiding it, but I still know you well enough to know when something’s bothering you. Forgive me if I’m overstepping, but… What’s the matter?” Daichi leaned forward slightly, resting his forearms on his legs.

“Well…” Y/N began hesitantly, suddenly unable to meet his eyes, “It’s a bit of a long story, but I just got out of a long-term relationship. It didn’t end very neatly, and I guess I’m still just... “ She trailed off, unable to find a word that could even begin to cover the regret, the doubt, the blame, the unfairness of it all.

“Processing?” he suggested, his tone much gentler than before.

“Yeah. Processing.”

His expression softened into a sympathetic smile, and he brought up an idle hand to scratch the side of his neck. “I’m sure you’ll make it through just fine,” he assured her. “You’ve always been strong.”

Just like it always used to be, Daichi’s reliability was enough to help uplift her, and Y/N found herself mirroring his smile easily, sinking into the comfort of having a friend that she could trust. “Thank you, Dai.”

Days and then weeks went by, and the pair found it easy to mask the tension with the guise of professionalism—stray glances and candid smiles could all be brushed aside as remnants of their old friendship, the foundations of which they had found were still very much in-tact.

Daichi felt a rush of inexplicable pride every time Y/N confided in him, though she only did so in fragments, each of which he remembered carefully to try and piece together later. He could tell whenever they landed on the topic of her last relationship that it was still sore, that he shouldn’t press too hard on a bruise that was still healing. He kept his growing contempt for her ex-partner to himself, though he entertained his own ideas of what he’d like to say to the man if they ever crossed paths. Sawamura didn’t care for unfaithfulness to begin with, but the anger that swelled inside him with each new detail that Y/N shared was almost unjustifiable. Or at least, it would have been, if she was just a colleague to him.

‧₊˚✩彡.

“Sorry for keeping you at the precinct so late.” Streetlights lined their path, showering the detective and the journalist in an unnatural orange light, which was broken sporadically by the brilliant glow of passing headlights that faded into dull red as they disappeared down the road. It had been almost 2 months since their first meeting, and the two had fallen into an easy rhythm, which they used to dance around the growing tension.

“Not at all,” Y/N assured him, shoving her hands deeper into her coat pockets as frigid air bit harshly into the exposed skin. “I think we made some really good progress today! The overtime was definitely worth it.”

“Right…” he agreed absently, watching her in his periphery before sneaking a longer look. The streetlamps shone in her eyes like those carnival lights had all those years ago, and he was reminded of the flame in his hands, which now seemed to flicker just out of reach. He knew it was wrong of him to allow his feelings to be reignited, and on more than one count. She had confided in him the details of a traumatic breakup, not to mention the fact that they were currently acting as partners on a professional level. Logically, he knew all of these things, and Daichi had always been good at logic. It was how he kept his cool under pressure, and the reason that he was a detective at all—but right now, logic was the furthest thing from his mind. The girl that he had once been in love with had fallen right back in front of him, like the world was handing him a chance on a silver platter. He’d be a damned fool not to take it.

For a moment, their staggered steps and the occasional passing car were the only sounds to ease the tension. The hum of the city, which Sawamura usually found comforting, was now taunting, like a thousand flies buzzing in the distance. Finally, Daichi spoke again, if only to keep himself from drowning in the silence that hung between them. “Let’s grab dinner, okay? It’s late and neither of us has eaten since we started working.”

Y/N’s response was delayed, and for the first time in weeks, there was an expression on her face that he found himself unable to read. Her pause couldn’t have been that long, maybe a second or two at most, but it was enough time for a simmering anxiety to sweep over him in a wave. And then she smiled again, and it set his mind on fire.

When they stepped out of the restaurant, it was like leaving a time-capsule. Cheap ramen after a night spent studying had been a staple of their friendship in college, and being there again had left them both feeling like the years had melted away around them. Things felt simpler, more carefree than they’d been in months.

“My apartment isn’t far from the train station,” Daichi told Y/N as they stepped back out into the cold. He could feel it, the haze of nostalgia slowly seeping through the cracks in the pavement, getting carried further away by each passing car. “I can walk most of the way with you.”

“Alright,” Y/N agreed tentatively, wrapping her coat tighter around her as they started down the sidewalk. She could feel that the pull between them was growing stronger, that she was starting to open up to him more and more and more, and she was scared that her old feelings for him would spin out of control if she let herself get swept away by the sentimentality that was swelling up inside her. ‘These feelings aren’t real. Rebounding. I’m rebounding.’ She could repeat it to herself as many times as she wanted, but she’d always been a shitty liar—even when it came to lying to herself.

“Can… Can I ask you something?” Daichi finally interjected after about a block and a half of silence. He sounded tense, nervous even, and Y/N could tell that he was preparing to approach a difficult subject—she didn’t have to be the detective to know what.

“Yeah, of course,” she replied, her gaze trained on the pavement beneath her feet, counting the uniform lines in the concrete as she stepped over them. “Anything.”

He took a deep breath, hesitating as though he were expecting his next words to go wrong, but trusting that they were both comfortable in their friendship. “How… How did you find out that Takashi was cheating on you?”

The question hung heavy in the air, settling uncomfortably around her shoulders, and though it was a forward thing to ask, Y/N couldn’t say that it was totally unexpected. They’d been weaving their way through the subject for weeks now—it had only been a matter of time before they finally arrived here.

She was careful not to slow her pace as she formulated an answer in her head, still trying to mask some of the hurt that she was carrying with her. “Well… I had been travelling for work. It wasn’t a long trip, and I wasn’t far; just a weekend a few cities over. But, I finished my interviews ahead of schedule, so I decided to come home early on my last day.” Y/N was forcing her voice to stay even, pacing herself and trying hard not to let herself fall into the weight of her words. She realized now that she hadn’t told this story yet, hadn’t even really let herself process it.

She could feel Daichi staring, and she glanced to the side, knowing that she’d melt under his gaze. “When- When I got back to the apartment—our apartment—it was early afternoon. I didn’t see him anywhere so I thought that maybe he’d run out for groceries or food or, well—it doesn’t matter what I thought, I guess. I went to our room to put my things away and- and he-”

They had reached his apartment now, and they lingered on his doorstep, bathed in the glow of fluorescent lamps.

Daichi watched her with sorrow in his eyes, his gut twisting with the impulse to reach out to her as she began to cry. He was angry—angry at the one who had done this to her, angry at himself for feeling the way he did, wanting the things that he wanted.

“He was in our bed, and she was there too. And he- he was holding her like she belonged there, like- like they had done this a thousand times and-” Her voice finally broke against the lump in her throat, and her hands quickly moved to hide herself as tears spilled freely down the sides of her face. “And I’m not strong, because I just felt so- so stupid, Daichi. For thinking that- that I could ever mean something to someone wh-”

“Don’t,” Daichi interjected softly, finally finding the words to comfort her. Gently, his hands curled around her wrists and pulled them from her face, his own expression distressed as he took in the sight of her like this, overwhelmed by a hurt that she had been hiding and carrying with her for so long. “Don’t. You could. You do. Listen to me; whatever he did, whatever choice he made, it wasn’t about you. Trust me. Please.”

Y/N’s vision was still blurred by welling tears, but nothing could obscure the intensity that burned in Daichi’s eyes as he held her hands away from her face. There was an urgency about him that amplified his usual sincerity until she was consumed by it, by the feeling that she was safe with him.

“Daichi…” she whispered, her voice still watered down as they searched each other’s eyes, every moment leading up to this one playing back in their minds.

He pulled her close against him and held her like he was afraid she’d disappear, his arms tightening as she returned his embrace. He lost himself as she looked up at him with those red-rimmed and puffy eyes, glittering with tears. Before he knew what he was doing, his lips were on hers, and he was kissing her wildly, desperately.

Y/N’s heart stopped as he started, but she kissed back, letting her mind run blank as he pulled her closer into him, comforted by the steadiness of his arms around her. There were sparks between them that she could no longer explain away, lightning that only accompanied love, indisputable proof that he was more than just a friend, that this was more than just a rebound. When he kissed her, she felt alive.

She could hardly breathe when he finally pulled away from her, his eyes wild and drilling into her with a burning intensity.

“Y/N,” he breathed out, just as breathless as she was. “Stay… Stay with me.”

Her back was against his front door, and she knew exactly what that look in his eye meant—it meant that if she followed him in, that this was for real. It meant that she was serious about him, and that he was serious about her, and that they were finally letting this happen as it should have all those years ago.

The words were on her lips when the images came flooding back, of her space in her own bed occupied by another, a stranger lying in the arms of the person who she had chosen to love, to trust. Daichi’s steadiness suddenly became uncertainty, and she found herself wilting away from him.

His arms fell away from her easily, and her heart sank at the tortured look that was written all over his face as she moved away from him. She crossed her arms over her chest, and tried her hardest to at least look him in the eye. “I-I’m sorry, Daichi. I can’t. We shouldn’t.”

“You’re…” Daichi cut himself off, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring down at his feet, a long sigh rolling off his lips. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Y/N. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” As Y/N turned away and headed for the train station, she was forced to reckon with her own conflicting emotions. Being with Daichi had felt so right, so safe, but the thought of taking that risk again, putting herself in a situation where a single person could hurt her so badly… If there was anyone in the world who she thought would never betray her, it was him—but that trust might only mean that she would have farther to fall.

Daichi watched her go, and though he wanted to scream as he watched her silhouette disappear into the night, he had become unequivocally certain that he truly wanted to be with her. It was what he had wanted for a long, long time.

‧₊˚✩彡.

Y/N had gotten into work that morning and immediately been scheduled to conduct a last minute interview—one of the writers for the paper’s sports column had needed to attend to a family emergency, leaving her to cover for him in his absence. She wouldn’t need to visit the precinct today, something she was almost grateful for. There was an almost unfathomable level of awkwardness between her and Daichi, and not having to see him made it that much easier to try to forget what had happened on his doorstep two weeks ago.

She stepped into the designated meeting room, notepad in hand as she slid into the seat across from the athlete that she was supposed to be interviewing. “Hi,” she began, giving him her usual professional hospitality. “I’m L/N Y/N, it’s nice to meet you— I’ll be interviewing you today.”

“Hello,” he almost seemed to chirp, leaning back into his chair and shooting her a charming, coy smile. “I’m Oikawa. But with a face like yours, I’ll let you call me Tooru.”

[centeris2]

Soul Rider redesigns that'll never happen because they've already been updated. Under the read more because this'll probably be long again

Lisa

Honestly keep things mostly the same, but flesh out backstory a bit differently. Bring back the obviously dyed and spiky hair and some lingering punk vibes. Maybe bring the green eyes back? A lil more androgynous as well.

Backstory ideas: as Lisa grew up she looked more and more like her mom, which as a young teen was not great for her grief looking in the mirror so she started dying her hair, cutting it short, didn't go outside/get sunlight, and used those skin lightening creams, making her much paler. She got into emo, punk, and rock from the understandable combo of Grieving Teen + normal teen angst + moving constantly due to her dad's work so she didn't really have any roots or solid 'home' after her mom died. Sometimes you just gotta sing some screamo metal to get your anger and grief out. But as she grows up and comes to terms she goes into her mother's things and picks up her mom's old guitar and starts plunking on it for the first time since her mom died. Oh also her mother still died in a car accident, not a riding accident. Lisa's trauma/hesitancy to get on a horse comes from her own injury when she was little combined with horseback riding being a thing that reminds her of her mother (but without the trauma of horse riding being the thing that killed her mother). Lisa's transition to more country vibes and branching into country music is her reconnecting (and coping with) the memories of her mother. Androgynous enough that she could pass as a guy with minimal effort, especially when wearing masculine/gender neutral clothes. Definitely was mistaken as a scene/emo guy when younger and came up with "Lee", her masculine character when she'd blow out her voice from screaming too much or get sick and lose her voice, as her husky/gravely voice was easily mistaken for a dude's voice. Rejecting feminine things (aka things that reminded her/made her look more like her mom) led Lisa into a gender non conforming/gender questioning phase. While still generally identifying with she/her, Lisa isn't bothered by confusion and actively enjoys bringing out "Lee" now and then.

Linda

Keep her pretty similar, just make her obviously pear shaped and thick. Absolutely no thigh gap on her. Thick thighs, wide hips. If she's standing next to Lisa and Alex and you can't tell who has the biggest butt it's wrong. Maybe darker skin?

Anne

Bring back the model thing and make her fat. I don't mean "curvy but acceptably skinny" I mean fat. Make her feminine and have her love being feminine and trying new make up and fashion ideas and love her body and weight and appearance. Make it not a bad thing to be feminine and not want to be academic!

This is Anne now

I want people to get mad that there is a fat girl (though Linda certainly would be considered 'overweight' by doctors as well, and anyone who is an ass about wanting stick thin girls with big butts as if that's how that works) who is a very happy highly feminine successful model and loves her body! Have her cocky and confident with remarks that she's always drop dead gorgeous even after a week camping with the soul riders without any showers or make up. Let her have some absolutely wild make up choices like she randomly picked the make up for the day to see if she could make something new and exciting. Hell she'd probably enjoy being a make up/fashion Jortuber.

Alex

Sabine's body type, tall with obvious bulk and muscles (and also belly pudge! she aint no fitness instagramer she's got fat!), possibly shorter hair, like sloppy chopped chin length or shorter (she attempted to do an undercut and botched it, now she's letting it grow out so Maya can help her so she isn't trying to use clippers on the back of her head). her clothes are obviously from thrift stores or hand me downs from her brothers and 90% of the time more masculine. She's still a mechanic and carries around an 'essential' tool kit (that also has snacks) just in case she needs to repair a tractor or car or generator on the fly. She is not at all fussed when people mistake her for a guy and just sorta shrugs with a "yeah sure that works".

[denqis]

friends with benefits x bakubros

this is x fem! reader

warnings: smut, 18+, choking, unprotected sex

kaminari denki

- you and denki have known each other since kindergarten

- you never thought of him as anything but a good childhood friend

- you used to hang out a lot together, getting drunk

- you usually talked a lot about sex, sexual preferences, your kinks etc.

- you get very horny when you're drunk

- every time the topic would come up, he'd just listen and watch with risen brows and a little smirk

- you were so kinky, he liked it

- then, at kirishima's birthday party the two of you constantly stole glances

- you didn't know what was going on, you suddenly felt butterflies everywhere when you looked at him

- as the night progressed you sat closer and closer to him

- all of the sudden you felt his hand on your thigh, butterflies literally exploding in your stomach

- he was very careful at first, unsure of what to do

- but then you put your hand on top of his and he knew

- one hand was intertwined with yours while the other crept closer and closer to your core, drawing circles on your inner thigh

- you felt kiri's stare on you and felt really embarrassed, this was a guy you had known since you can remember

- the night neared it's end and you were one of the last two leaving

- your dad picked both of you up, you getting in in front, him right behind you

- it was awkward, until you suddenly felt his hand reaching through the small opening between door and seat

- you held hands the whole ride home until he got dropped off

- you lived two blocks from each other

- you were super tired and got ready for bed, when he called

- the call was very very awkward because you didn't know what to do

- in the end you climbed through a window and ran to his place

- he greeted you with a hungry kiss

- as soon as you were in his room he continued kissing you, y'all made out for a solid five minutes

- suddenly he lifted you up, making you squeal

- he dropped you onto his bed where he continued kissing you

- "shit, you kiss so good?"

- he was breathless and you just continued kissing him, a sly smile on your face

- he knew you were a virgin and he knew you didn't feel confident in your body from all the drunk deep talk

- he explored your body and praised it

- "you're so hot."

- dry humps you and you FEEL it

- he then continues exploring your body, massaging your tits and choking you

- you lean into his touch, "more"

- he tightens his grip, a smirk on his face

- "more.."

- he fucked you, hard

- it was amazing, he knew what you wanted and how you liked it

- he wanted you to sleep over at his but since you climbed through the damn window you had to return home

- y'all meet up frequently to fuck

- exchanging knowing glances at school, during class

- sneaky touches in gym class

- this is basically my personal experience but pssh

kirishima eijirou

- you and eiji hit it off almost immediately after getting into ua

- you once accidentally stepped into the boy's bathroom

- ok fine it was a dare from the other girls and they guaranteed you that no one would be in there

- well, they were wrong

- you went in there in just an oversized shirt and panties, your basic sleeping attire

- that's just how the girls hung out

- the shirt was white and had your favorite pokemon printed on it

- just your luck, kirishima was in there too

- the boy takes steaming hot baths

- the steam immediately making your shirt cling to your body

- "y/n?!"

- oh my god this was so embarrassing, he had free vision on your nipples

- but he's a gentleman so he just stared at the floor, asking you why in the world you were there in the first place

- "i got lost.."

- you bit your lip, kirishima's muscles were deliciously defined and bulky

- you took a few steps towards him, admiring his build

- he visibly shivered and stared right into your eyes

- "what are you doing?"

- he was whispering and it was so god damn hot

- "enjoying the view?"

- you were unusually bold but if you were being honest, he had caught your eyes long before

- you'd be lying if you hadn't fantasized about him dominating you

- "we shouldn't be doing this, what if someone walks in?"

- he was panicking, but once his eyes caught your hard nipples his primal instincts took over

- "we're not doing anything though?"

- you played innocent and he was loving it

- "not yet anyways."

- he had you against a wall and started kissing down your neck, his huge hands playing with your boobs and flicking your nipples

- you were about to moan when his lips latched onto yours

- "you brought this upon yourself."

- you completely forgot about the girls waiting for you to return and just melted into his touch

- i don't think kiri could hide the fact that you've had sex

- so yeah the whole squad knows by the end of the week

- you text him a lot, wanting more and he always gets this smile and blush that gives it away

- bakugou is so annoyed by it

- "i bet that she'd be all over me too."

- but you aren't

- you love kirishima's body and god his stroke game and oral skills are to die for

- you're awfully obvious that something's going on

- you almost meet daily at this point

- i feel like he's quick to harbor feelings tho

- so unless you want your fuck-buddy to turn into your boyfriend i don't think he'd stick around for long

- it'd hurt him too much

sero hanta

- bitch

- this boy is so touch-deprived

- you knew, the whole class knew

- but he never dared to come onto anyone, let alone you

- you were best friends and he trusted you with everything

- one night you showed up at his room, sobbing

- he knew why, you had planned on confessing to your crush that day

- apparently he had rejected you

- he opened his door and you jumped into his arms, his face buried between your boobs

- "hanta.."

- you were miserable, sobbing but somehow the scent of his hair and his incredibly strong grip around your thighs calmed you down

- you leaned back a bit, sniffling and looking down on his blushed cheeks

- "y/n, i'll always be here for you."

- he tried to remain calm but deep down he just tried to prevent a boner from popping at such a inconvenient time

- you wanted to sleep over, he was okay with it

- you had slept over a countless amount of times already

- "you want the hammock or my bed?"

- "can we sleep together?"

- he almost choked, you didn't mean it like that, surely

- "sure!"

- he laid down, breathing calmly

- until you crawled on top of his chest, blushed a deep red

- "i.. haven't touched myself in weeks."

- ok???? his heart almost dropped out of his ass

- "could you?"

- you took his hand and guided it down your pants

- "we really shouldn't y/n."

- "are you going to reject me too? am i that disgusting?"

- holy fuck that broke his heart

- he sits up and pulls you in for the most loving kiss ever

- "you're great."

- he flips you over and finally lets loose

- he fingered you for HOURS, he had you screaming his name

- if it wasn't for his tape across your mouth the whole dorm would've known

- hammers into you relentlessly

- after that night he's scared that you won't be able to return to how you were before

- but both of you handled it surprisingly well

- "thanks for the other day."

- both of you are too shy to directly ask for a second time but if there's enough tension and maybe weed/alcohol i'm sure something is to happen again

bakugou katsuki

- you had been clashing with him for a long time

- every time he'd insult you or your friends you'd talk back at him

- he had threatened to beat you up so many times but never actually went through with it

- today was just like the other days, shoto said something and bakugou just had to comment on it

- "oh someone suffers from small dick syndrome? how unfortunate."

- "shut the fuck up before-"

- "before what? you bash my face in?"

- you rolled your eyes and focused on the work in front of you

- you were about to leave when bakugou jumped up and slammed you against a wall

- your lungs almost collapsed from the impact as you gasped for air

- "what the fuck is wrong with you?!"

- he stared at you, not saying anything

- his fiery stare made you blush, up close he was really really good looking

- "fucking bitch."

- he sneered and let you go

- usually you'd fire back an insult at him but his caramel scent and face still clouded your mind

- that night you couldn't fall asleep for various reasons and decided to take a stroll around campus

- "what are you doing here?"

- his deep, raspy voice came from the kitchen and your core clenched at the sound

- you shouldn't be like that, you couldn't just let him win you over like that

- "i asked you something didn't i?!"

- his voice suddenly was right at your ear, sending shivers down your entire body

- he took your hair into his hand and pulled your head back

- the strain on your neck made you hiss

- "not so tough now, huh?"

- his free hand wrapped around your throat as his body pressed you against the nearest wall

- you gasped when you felt his erection press against your ass

- "bakugou, stop it. i'll kill you."

- your voice was squeaky and strained

- he chuckled and roamed his hands down your backside, toying with the hem of your joggers

- "go on, try and kill me."

- two of his fingers rubbed over your clothed slit roughly, elicting a low moan

- "fuck bakugou."

- "that's more like it, no, brat?"

- he roughly turned you around and ripped your joggers down your legs in another swift movement

- heat shot to your cheeks, you weren't wearing any panties and your light grey pants already showed your wetness

- "so you're enjoying this?"

- he just took your left leg and wrapped it around his waist, plunging two fingers at once in

- you cried out and threw your head back

- "shut the fuck up, we don't want to wake anyone up."

- he scissored his fingers a few times and curled them up against your g-spot

- you came all over his fingers

- "holy shit, bakugou more."

- he's wearing the cockiest smile ever

- and when he gets out his hard cock you just can't help but moan out loudly

- "what was that again about my cock being small?"

- he didn't hesitate and pushed into you, burying himself to the hilt

- you were trying your best to stay quiet but as soon as he started moving you lost it

- you were a moaning, whimpering mess

- "i told you to shut up."

- your eyes are glassy and your mouth hangs wide open and he suddenly feels so drawn to kissing you, so he just does

- you were surprised but hungrily kissed back

- he came inside and you wanted to kill him, but once he pulled out and took a step back you fell to the floor

- "if you're always this wrecked after one round i don't think we can carry on doing this, princess."

- he carries you to your room aw

- after sex bakugou is surprisingly soft

- both of you got addicted to each other after this ngl

- you loved having no strings attached

[bbq-hawks-wings]

So I took a personality test to day and got the result of an Architect (INTJ) and for some reason Hawks just came to mind so I wondered, based on the Myers-Briggs classification what personality would he have? Also just out of curiosity, and you don't have to answer, but what would yours be? (I took the quiz on the website 16personalities)

Fantastic question, anon! Last I took the test a few years ago I was an INFP (The Mediator) myself which I think still largely applies. It can be easy to mistype yourself, let alone someone else, so I’m going to use evidence from the manga as much as possible and go through the individual traits one by one to see what I can find. I considered taking the test myself in character, but realized especially with how long the test is it could be easy to either overthink it or hyper-fixate on consciously or unconsciously preconceived traits, so I decided an evidence-based approach would be more accurate.

An important thing to know about Meyers-Briggs personality types is that they’re not all-encompassing, exclusive, or immutable. Some people have a tendency to make ill-informed preconceptions about people or treat it like a horoscope. This is the wrong way to apply a Meyers-Briggs personality type. They are insights to the instinctual way people are likely to act and perform and are only a tool to aid in things like working in a team, putting them on a path to personal success, and exercising emotional intelligence when interacting with them. Many people may still display a different “type” in different settings so I’ll be as cognizant of that as possible as I go through.

So with that, let’s get started!

Extroverted [E] or Introverted [I]?

This is a fantastic example of how preconceived notions  can completely mess up a characterization of someone as well as someone displaying a different type from what they might naturally display. Hawks is great with people, can work a crowd, and is a people-pleaser through and through. To many others, he would be a dead ringer for an extroverted. However:

In his own ideal world, Hawks has time to himself, to spend alone at home, doing whatever he wants freely. If he was an extrovert this dream might be a little more geared towards still being a top hero, but he’s said in so many words he wishes he was a little further down the ladder.

At this point I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up that a false dichotomy of introvert/extrovert has developed over the years. Humans require interaction with other humans to stay healthy and they also require alone time. Too much or too little of either will give them problems over time. It’s a tad frustrating to me that this personality test requires an either/or answer since I thoroughly believe that Hawks enjoys human company and would naturally seek it out in his ideal scenario, just in greater moderation than he does now (which would make him more of an ambivert); but given the fact that at this point in time he seeks more opportunities for solitude, I’m going to answer that he lands, somewhat surprisingly in the Introverted category.

Observant [S] or Intuitive [N]?

This one is also tricky at first, but a deeper dive into their definitions gives us a pretty solid answer, I think. According to the website: 

“These traits describe what people are more likely to do with the information gathered from the world around them. Intuitive personality types rely on imagining the past and future potential of what they see. Those with the Observant style are more interested in observable facts and more straightforward outcomes. They prefer to avoid layering too much interpretation on what they see.“

So does Hawks take a complicated, theoretical approach to information he’s exposed to, or does he call it like he sees it? Does he act in the here and now, or is he more bigger picture?

While he’s actively working toward a definitive goal, he has a tendency to only focus on the information in front of him as it happens. Dabi’s going to release a super powered Nomu? Better get the best hero around to fight it. Need to infiltrate the League of Villains? Just hammer away at getting Dabi to trust him and open the door for him.

He tends to look at the road in front of him to figure out if he should go left or right, but doesn’t always seem to realize he could be being taken for a ride. In his section of the new character book, his relationship with Dabi is described as “they are using each other” (note the present continuous tense) meaning that Dabi is stringing along the number two hero for his own purposes, but Hawks seems to have no idea of it. Just his altercation with Dabi at the warehouse after High End is proof he’s too trusting of the information he’s given at face value.

He may have contingencies (such as holding onto the one feather), but they do not span very far and wide into the future depending on any way things go. It’s always, “If plan A doesn’t work, go to plan B” and never a step or two ahead of that or a consideration of other possible outcomes. Did he have a plan in case High End actually killed Endeavor? Based on his reaction, I don’t think he really thought that was a possibility even though in the end it almost happened and left him with a permanent scar.

This, to me, puts him safely in the Observant category.

Thinking [T] or Feeling [F]?

Hey, this one is actually easy! Hawks is incredibly intelligent, but he is far from rational. A good litmus test for this is to see how someone reacts to failure. A thinking individual will view an undesirable outcome as useful data for the future and possibly just a result of things beyond their control, but a feeling person will view the same as proof of inadequacy that needs to be remedied through personal improvement.

He consistently reacts to situations emotionally first. Even when Tokoyami really proved himself during his internship, it was an emotional response that changed his attitude towards training him and the next generation.

Even Endeavor describes him as,

Hawks has always been emotionally expressive, responsive, and driven. In his interactions with others, he displays a huge amount of emotional intelligence - you can see it in the way he ever so slightly adjusts his interactions with others based on the response to him and the outcome he’s looking for. He pauses for just a second to get a cool selfie perfect for a girl’s social media timeline, he’s polite and considerate carrying a little old lady’s bags up the stairs for her, and he appeals to a little boy’s sense of style and flair when asked to sign his bag. The way he and others feel at any given moment is almost paramount to him.

This is a trait I don’t see changing in his character over time unlike some of the others. He’s clearly a Feeling type.

Judging [J] or Prospective [P]?

This one I also think is easy to figure out. Basically, does he prefer a set, methodical schedule or is he a more spontaneous, spur of the moment person?

Yeah, this is Hawks we’re talking about. He’s shockingly adaptable and almost seems to fall into routine for the sake of others instead of his own sanity. Most of his decisions are made on the fly, and he’s known to improvise.

He’s more than capable of planning ahead, but prefers to operate as the wind blows which makes him a solid Prospective type.

Assertive [-A] or Turbulent [-T]?

For funsies, I just want to pop in and check in on this last trait since it’s here. Basically, all it asks is his confidence level and response to stress. I’ve more or less answered this earlier, but when encountering a situation potentially way over his head, he may outwardly display confidence and roll with the punches (his _S_P traits at work) but when it comes to results, especially failure, perfection and personal excellence are all that matter. I feel very confident classifying him as a Turbulent personality.

Final Results

So with that we get a final Meyers-Briggs personality type of ISFP-T which according to 16 Personalities is the Adventurer type personality.

“Adventurer personalities are true artists, but not necessarily in the typical sense where they’re out painting happy little trees. Often enough though, they are perfectly capable of this. Rather, it’s that they use aesthetics, design and even their choices and actions to push the limits of social convention. Adventurers enjoy upsetting traditional expectations with experiments in beauty and behavior – chances are, they’ve expressed more than once the phrase “Don’t box me in!” Adventurers live in a colorful, sensual world, inspired by connections with people and ideas. These personalities take joy in reinterpreting these connections, reinventing and experimenting with both themselves and new perspectives. No other type explores and experiments in this way more. This creates a sense of spontaneity, making Adventurers seem unpredictable, even to their close friends and loved ones. Despite all this, Adventurers are definitely Introverts, surprising their friends further when they step out of the spotlight to be by themselves to recharge. Just because they are alone though, doesn’t mean people with the Adventurer personality type sit idle – they take this time for introspection, assessing their principles. Rather than dwelling on the past or the future, Adventurers think about who they are. They return from their cloister, transformed.Adventurers live to find ways to push their passions. Riskier behaviors like gambling and extreme sports are more common with this personality type than with others. Fortunately their attunement to the moment and their environment allows them to do better than most. Adventurers also enjoy connecting with others, and have a certain irresistible charm.”

It feels like a pretty accurate assessment of his personality, so I think I did a good job. This was a lot of fun, and I feel like I’ve even gotten to know him a little better! Thanks for sending in the question, anon, I really enjoyed it!

And if you’re curious about Meyers-Briggs personality types or want to take the assessment yourself, go check out 16personalities[.]com!

[ampmiscfiles]

To Us You’re Worth Everything Chapter 7: I want it....I don't

Start at Chapter 1

Relationship: Peter Parker/Wanda Maximoff, Peter Parker/Pietro Maximoff

Peter had no idea where he was going. The compound was large and his senses were frazzled by the information input. He just wanted someplace to go that wasn't full of people, and maybe block out the worry of his soulmates he was feelings through their bond.

Eventually, he came across a plain, unmarked door and ducked inside, only to dodge to the left just in time to avoid a punching bag slamming into the door.

"Peter?"

Peter looked up to the startled and concerned face of Steve Rogers.

"Are you ok? I didn't get you did I?" he frowned, rushing over to check on him.

Peter just blinked up at him as he fretted over him.

Was Steve Rogers actually.........worried about him?

"You seem ok." Steve sighed in relief. "What are you doing in here?"

"I.....I was....."

"Looking for some place to hide?"

Peter's eyes widened at Steve's friendly smile.

"They told you about the adoption I assume?"

Peter just nodded, unable to form words.

"Yeah, I can imagine that was quite a shock." Steve looked at him before turning back to the gym. "Wanna take out some of that pent up emotion on a bag? It helps me. That's what I was doing when you came in."

"You must have a lot then." Peter said, looking at the crumpled bags on the floor.

"Yeah....." Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I was just reminded of some bad memories."

Peter watched as Steve closed his eyes and took a breath.

"So, how about that bag?"

Peter looked over to where Steve had a stack of fresh punching bags, then back at the man.

"Yeah.....yeah....I think I'd like that."

"Come on kid."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Should we go after him?" Wanda asked, worried about Peter's reaction.

"No." Pepper said. "I'm sure it was just a lot for him to take it. Just give him time to process it. It'll be ok."

The twins frowned, looking in the direction Peter had run off to. His distress was overwhelming, causing their soul marks to tingle.

"Here, let's give you some piece of mind kiddos." Tony grinned. "FRI?"

"Yes Boss?"

"Give me the whereabouts of our runaway teen."

"He is in the gym with Captain Rogers."

"Of course he'd find Steve." Tony rolled his eyes.

"What are they doing, FRIDAY?" Pepper asked, shoving Tony lightly.

"They appear to be using the punching bags."

"See, he's ok." Pepper smiled softly, pulling the twins into a hug. "It'll be ok once we get everything taken care of."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Everything ok at home?" Natasha asked, looking at Clint's solemn face.

"Yeah. I told Laura what was going on. She agreed about me staying to make sure things are ok for Peter. She also had some choice suggestions on how to deal with our friends."

"Oh? Don't keep me in suspense."Natasha grinned.

"She's of the opinion that going to jail isn't enough and wouldn't it just be crazy if when the cops showed up, Kathy and Kent Matthews appeared to be victims of a random break-in and assault."

"You know, I heard break-in rates are increasing during daylight hours."

"Me too. I've also heard that the chance of it being a violent encounter has risen as well." Clint nodded.

"I also heard there was a strange, dark blue car in the neighborhood. No tags."

"Speaking of dark blue, you know, that old car in the garage needs a new paint job. It's not as cool as a solid black car would be. Maybe we should have it painted this afternoon."

"I agree." Natasha smiled, tossing her red hair over her shoulder. "Let's take it for one last ride."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Feeling any better?" Steve asked, hanging a new bag and moving the one Peter had busted.

Oddly enough, he did. He hadn't realized just how.....angry, sad, depressed, and lonely he had been. Then again, it wasn't like he didn't deserve it. People like him always ended up alone. It was just the way things were, and how they should be.He wouldn't be in the position he was now if he was worth anythin-he froze.

He was going to be adopted. Adopted by Pepper Potts!

No!

No, he couldn't let that happen!

He couldn't stay here!

If he stayed here, they would all figure out all the terrible things about him. They would learn that Spider-Man wasn't as good as they thought he was.

They might find out he often had lapses in his memories. Times where he woke up with bruises that weren't from Kathy or Kent. Times when his knuckles hurt so bad he could barely open and close his hands.

Times when he would catch stories of criminals suffering severe beatings in dark alleys by a person in black.

Times when he found his ratty black hoodie and jeans with splatters of blood on them.

Times when he would ignore those stories because there was no way he knew who was responsible. Who would be so brutal?

He didn't know. He didn't!

They figure it out though. They were the Avengers.

They would know he was a bad person who deserved whatever he got. A person who didn't deserve Pepper Potts. A person who definitely didn't deserve soulmates like Wanda and Pietro.

He'd hurt them.

He'd hurt the team.

He'd be a burden like he always was. Like he was always told he was.

He couldn't love anyone. That ability had been stripped from him long ago. He hadn't been able to be good to any of his foster families. They told him so. They told him as they beat him. They told him as they made him go hungry. They told him as they took things from him.

They told him he would have more if he was better.

They told him he'd never be better.

He wasn't better.

He never got more.

Spider-Man had a mask to hide his flaws. Peter Parker was bare to the world.

You can't hide you worth when there isn't any to begin with.

"Peter?"

Peter's eyes snapped up to Steve's worried ones.

"Are you ok? You want to keep going?" he motioned towards the bag.

Peter's eyes wandered from the new, hanging back and over to where the pile of bags he had busted sat.

Had he really broken that many? How had he not been paying better attention? He'd broken so many bags! He broke their equipment! Steve had been nice and invited him to join and that was how he repaid him?

Noting where his eyes focused, Steve looked back at Peter with a smile.

"It's ok, kid. We've got plenty. I break them all the time."

But Steve was an Avenger! This was the Avenger compound! Of course he was allowed to break things! Peter had no right! He shouldn't have accepted Steve's offer to begin with. It was a stupid choice.

Peter made stupid choices often.

Peter took a step back, his eyes still focused on the, now useless, gym equipment.

He didn't have the money to replace them.

"Seriously, don't worry about it Peter."

"I...I'm sorry!" he shouted, turning and running once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve watched Peter bolt with a sad frown.

If only the kid knew how many bags he went through in a week. There really wasn't any reason for him to worry. He had super strength. He was bound to break something.That was why the gym was in constant repair.

Pepper needed to push Peter to spend more time with Wanda and Pietro.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pietro sighed as he idly wandered the halls. He and Wanda hadn't spent any real time apart since discovering Peter was their missing soulmate, but she had gone with Pepper to busy herself in the kitchen, leaving him to take some time to himself. He was glad to note the tingling they had felt from Peter's extreme emotions were gone. Whatever Peter was doing with Steve had calmed him a good bit. There was still fear, and worry, but it wasn't as strong.

It was obvious things weren't going to be easy getting through to Peter, though. The terrified look on his face had been enough of a sign for that.

Still, they wouldn't give up on him. He was theirs and they were his.

Rounding the corner, he grunted as someone slammed into him, knocking both of them to the ground.

Looking up, he was met with messy brown curls before warm brown eyes looked into his.

Peter.

Pietro felt his heart hammer as the two lay sprawled out on the floor with Peter draped over him. He watched as the boy's face turned pink, and his eyes widened, but he didn't move.

Smiling softly, Pietro wound his arms around him and held him close.

"Are you ok?"

"I....I....." Peter stumbled, trying to form coherent words while wrongly, and what he knew was also a bit selfishly, drinking in the soothing warmth of his soulmate.

If he had wanted to deny his bond to Wanda and Pietro before, there was no way to do it now. He hadn't felt this feeling since Ben and May had died, and it felt so good it hurt.

It hurt that he couldn't fully enjoy it.

"How about we get up off the floor?" Pietro grinned, keeping one arm locked around Peter while lifting himself up with the other.

Slowly the two stood, and as bad as he wanted to run again, Peter found Pietro's hold wasn't the only thing stopping him from leaving.

He couldn't make himself move.

Bright blue eyes studied with face with concern and........love?

God, did Peter miss love.

God, did he not deserve it.

"I...I'm sorry I knocked you over."

"I could think of worse things to happen." Pietro chuckled. "Besides, Wanda's done it plenty of times. You'd think, as fast as I am, I could avoid it but she gets me every time."

The bond coursed through Peter, stronger the longer he stayed in contact. Everyone knew soulmates thrived on contact, both physical and emotional.

"Want to talk about why you were running?"

Peter's eyes glistened as he remembered what had led to this encounter to begin with. He had just left Steve with his mess.

Steve must think so bad of him. He didn't eventryto clean up. He should have. He owed it.

Stupid.

Just something else he did wrong.

"It's ok." Pietro smiled. "You don't have to talk about it. I mean, we've kind of hit you with a lot of information today. We hate that it happened this way."

He frowned as he ran his hand up and down Peter's back absentmindedly.

"Still, we can't let you go back, Peter." he cupped Peter's pink cheek. "It's not safe for you there. They'll keep hurting you. Here with us is where you belong. Here where you can be loved and taken care of how you deserve."

Pietro had no idea what Peter did and did not deserve.

"Don't even try to deny it." Pietro said firmly, bopping Peter on the nose and cutting off what he was going to say. "You're staying here."

He smiled before placing a kiss on the top of Peter's head.

Unable to stop himself, Peter leaned into him.

He was so tired.

He allowed himself the thoughts of staying and living with everyone and being happy with Wanda and Pietro, but thoughts were all they could remain. As safe as he felt at this moment, it just wasn't possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve ducked back around the corner with a smile.

He had come looking for Peter, worried about him after he had run. Coming around the corner to see him wrapped up with Pietro was more than he could have hoped for. The soulmate bond would comfort Peter in a way no one or nothing could.

Not all injuries were visible to the eye, and Peter had a lot of internal ones. Steve had seen it written all over his face when he arrived at the gym and after he realized what he had done while in there.

For all the personal issues members of the teams had, Peter may have more than any of them. As young as he was, the severe amount of physical and emotional abuse could cut deeper than it would as an adult. Peter wasn't old enough to be able to escape it. He wasn't mentally developed enough to deny it.

He was only 15 years old. He was still practically a baby.

Steve's fists clenched in anger. Peter was a part of their team, and Steve Rogers would make damn sure he would know how loved and protected he was and was going to be. His foster parents would never hurt anyone again.

And if Captain America needed to have some public opinions on the Matthews' case to make sure any punishments stuck, well, Steve wasn't above it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Peter Parker is with Pietro Maximoff."

Wanda dropped the plate she had been holding, not even registering as it crashed to the floor and shattered into pieces.

They had asked FRIDAY to keep track of Peter's movements while he was alone.

"Why don't you go find them." Pepper said, giving Wanda a little push. "I'll get this cleaned up."

Wanda nodded, rushing off as FRIDAY told her where they were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter was still foolishly indulging his body's desire to be with its other half, or in his case part of his other half, when he felt another warm presence press into him from behind.

Arms wrapped around his waist as a cheek was rested on his head.

His inner bond, once in repressed submission, screamed in delight. This was it. This was where he was meant to be. It shouted at him to never leave. It had gotten a taste of a real connection, and it wasn't going to let go so easily.

It wasn't going to let Peter's insecurities dictate things so freely anymore.

It was demanding control.

It was terrifying.

He needed to leave.

"Shh, little spider." Wanda whispered, feeling how he tensed up. "We have you. No one will hurt you. We want you. You are loved. You are worthy. You are special. You don't have to run anymore."

Peter felt his panic rising. He didn't know what to do. He heard her words, and their bond told him she was being honest, but his mind argued that she could be using her powers to lie. To make him think things that weren't true, were. He had no idea just what she was really capable of. There was no guarantee she couldn't manipulate their bond. Maybe they were being truthful about taking him from Kathy and Kent, but that didn't really mean they were planning on keeping him. Everything could be a lie just to get him to make things easier.

He squeezed his eyes shut as Wanda started humming an easy tune behind him.

Tears slipped down his cheeks.

He couldn't move though.

His body wouldn't obey. It was betraying him. It was drinking in the feeling only a found soulmate could give.

"Glad to see you lot are getting along."

The three looked over as Tony looked at them with approval.

Wanda and Pietro smiled, happy to be able to hold Peter close to them.

Peter however, used the distraction to break the hold and moved over to Tony.

"It's getting late!" he shouted, wincing at how he sounded. "I...I should be getting back. It's a long ride."

Tony's sigh didn't hide the gasps of the twins behind him.

"We already told you, Pete. You're not going back there."

"I-I have things there!"

"Kid, I don't know if you've just chosen to ignore that high IQ of yours or not, but nothing you have there is worth keeping. I don't know why you'd want any of it."

Because his black hoodie and jeans didn't get washed. They were tucked in the back of his closet.

He didn't know whose blood was on them.

He didn't!

He didn't know how the stains kept getting there!

No, he couldn't have anyone find them and think he had put it there.

He hadn't!

"I have a picture of Uncle Ben and Aunt May!"

It wasn't a lie. He really did. It was just hidden.

It had to be.

It would have been taken if he hadn't.

It would remind him of how he didn't save or protect them.

On second thought, Kathy and Kent would probably like him having it.

"Well, we can't get anything until after those assholes are taken care of. I'm sure we can have someone go in and get it."

"No! I need to go get it!"

"If you think we're letting you anywherenearthat place again, you're crazy Peter." Tony stated, voice firm. "Besides, the place will have to be investigated for evidence."

They were going to find the clothes!

"Evidence? Do you think there is any evidence of Peter's treatment?" Wanda asked.

Tony hesitated. They didn't know about Natasha and Clint's finds, and it was going to remain that way as long as possible.

"We don't know, but they'll want a look around."

Peter felt sick and his breathing quickened.

Cool hands cupped his face, turning him to look at Wanda's soft expression.

"It's ok, Peter. Everything is going to be fine."

Nothing was going to be fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pepper dumped the dust pan full of broken plate into the trash can. She couldn't even be upset about it. Peter was with his soulmates, and apparently hadn't left since FRIDAY hadn't updated her as to his whereabouts. Still, she didn't think a few moments with them was going to undo years of psychological abuse. Once everything had settled, she'd look into asking Sam if he would be willing to provide some therapy for Peter. Perhaps he would be willing to talk to Sam over anyone else.

"How's everything going?"

"Speak of the devil." Pepper smirked.

Sam raised an eyebrow.

I'm a lot of things, but I like to think I'm better than that!"

"I was just thinking about you actually. I was wondering if you'd be willing to talk with Peter. Try to figure out just how deep his abuse runs."

Sam sighed, sliding into a bar stool and resting his elbows on the counter.

"I can try, but I don't know if Peter's going to be ready for that. Not everyone can jump into therapy, even if they can admit they need it."

Pepper nodded, chewing her bottom lip.

"I'm just worried. He ran. That's avoidance. He doesn't want to be here."

"Well, I don't honestly think he wants to go back there." Sam said, giving her a settling look. "There's nothing good there, and no matter how much he's let himself believe the abuse, buried in there somewhere is the knowledge that what they were doing wasn't right or deserved. Still, he's been with them a while, and in one day everything is being taken away, and new things are being thrown at him."

Pepper sighed, running her hand down her face.

"It wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't supposed to be all at once. As bad as we hated it, We weren't sure he wasn't going to have to go back tonight. Nat and Clint went to dig up dirt on them so we could try to get him tomorrow at least if he did, but after what they found that isn't an option. Peter will have to go to a group home until I can push the adoption through. This is a disaster."

"You couldn't have prepared for this, Pep. Bringing him here to begin with was just to get him out the house and hopefully connect with Wanda and Pietro. There was no way to know it was all gonna go to shit. Where is he now?"

"With Wanda and Pietro, or at least he was."

"That's good."

"I hope so. I worry about him. You only have to be around him a few minutes to see all the sadness around him." Pepper frowned.

"You'd never know anything was going on based on how he acts as Spider-Man. Always in a good mood and bouncing around. It really is amazing what anonymity can do for a person."

"I don't even want to think about breeching that topic with Peter."

"You wanna out him as Spider-Man?"

"Pepper Potts adopts some random kid and Spider-Man is suddenly seen with the Avengersall thetime instead of just some? People are going to snoop and put things together anyway. It's better for us to do it on our terms."

Sam nodded in understanding.

"Well, let's just make it through the next 24 to 48 hours and see how it goes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony swallowed as he looked at the annoyed faces of the Maximoff twins over the top of Peter's head. The boy was steadily trying to herd him in the opposite direction of them and towards, what Tony thought he assumed, was freedom.

Poor kid had no idea there was no where he could go in this compound that he couldn't be found.

"We...we need to talk a lot Mr. Stark. There..theres a lot to....to....to get figured out. I....I'm going to be sent to a group home, right? That's what Ms. Potts said. Where...where is it?"

Peter froze.

A group home.

He was going to be sent to a group home until his adoption was done.

He'd be in a home full of other kids.

One kid in a crowd.

One kid that could easily slip away.

Disappear.

Hopefully he could get his picture of Ben and May back before he......

"I want to talk about the group home!"

Sighing, Tony pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Why don't we all go to my office and talk about some things."

Peter nodded and found himself flanked on both sides by Wanda and Pietro.

He didn't mind it.

They wouldn't have to do it long.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We actually wanted you to stay here for the night." Tony said, looking walking around his office.

Wanda, Pietro and Peter were sitting on the couch, watching him pace.

"Unfortunately, my lawyers disagreed. They said that wouldn't work. So while we all deal with the Matthews, a social worker will be coming to collect you this evening."

Peter nodded, soaking up the information.

"What...what about my stuff?"

"I can try to get it out first. If you can tell me where the picture is, they can go for it first."

"It's under my mattress. I also left the phone you gave me under there."

"Ok. We can take care of it. I'm sure they can take time to get you one thing."

"How long will he be there?" Wanda asked, her voice soft.

"Just until we can get the adoption done. It's my lawyers though, so not long." Tony smiled at her before looking back at Peter. "So don't get comfortable kid. You'll be back here before you know it."

Peter nodded, already three steps ahead of their plans.

He would be going to the group home tonight. Hopefully they could get him his picture tomorrow, and then he could leave. Surely it would take at least two to three days for everything to be finalized.

He could be long gone by then.

He hated the idea of being homeless so bad he stayed in an abusive home, but he gets offered a great one with his soulmates and he was going to run.

There really is something wrong with Peter Parker.