#for those that know this stuff already sorry

[artficlly]

read between the lines [one-shot]

college marvel au frat!jock!bucky x cheerleader!reader tutoring bucky barnes was already distracting enough, but leaving your diary in his room? that is a whole new problem.

Warnings: fluff, so much fluff, tutoring, first kiss, college au, vague panic from reader, idk it's just kinda fun and cute :), no use of y/n, lmk if i've missed anything

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: hi this was for a request! so so cute, i wrote this so fast i didn't even think i would have it ready to post so quickly. idk anything about cheerleading or how college works in america, so forgive me. inspired by that willow song! sorry for any typos - not proof read.

main masterlist

I’ve been tutoring Bucky.

Well, James, technically. But he goes by Bucky. Says it’s a childhood nickname and it just stuck, and honestly? That’s kind of adorable. Like, who clings to a nickname that hard? Even the professors call him that, which should be cringe, but somehow it’s not? It just suits him. I literally don’t think I could call him James even if I tried. ‘Bucky’ feels right. It sounds warm. Familiar. Stupidly charming.

Ugh. Anyway.

He’s in one of those frats I usually stay far away from. The kind that smells like cheap beer and Axe body spray. Always yelling, always playing music way too loud, always shirtless for no reason. I swore I’d never waste my time on a guy like that. I really thought he was gonna be a cocky, arrogant douche when I first got assigned to tutor him.

But he’s not. Like… at all?

He’s actually really nice. Like, unfairly nice. That casual kind of nice that makes you forget you’re supposed to be annoyed. He remembers stuff I say. Not the big stuff, the tiny stuff. Like how I chew my pen when I’m stressed, or how I like lemon Gatorade for cheerleading practice. And yesterday he brought me those sour gummy worms I mentioned ONE time. Just handed them over all casual like, ‘Thought you might want a little sugar after practice.’ Who does that?? Like… stop. That’s not fair.

But of course, he’s like that with everyone. That’s the worst part. He’s charming in this totally effortless way. Looks at you like you’re the most interesting person alive and then turns around and does the exact same thing to someone else. How am I supposed to know what’s real?

And GOD. He’s hot. Like, it’s actually rude. He laughs and it does something to me. Like full-on makes my brain stop working. And his ARMS?? Every time he pushes his sleeves up to his elbows I lose one year off my life. For real. It’s like he’s doing it on purpose. (I mean, he’s not, but like… what if he is???) Sometimes I forget what I’m even explaining because he’s just sitting there smiling at me with those eyes and that stupid little smirk and suddenly I’m thinking about kissing him instead of confidence intervals. It’s not okay.

He’s on the football team. Scholarship guy. Big deal. Girls are obsessed with him. I’ve literally heard people talk about him in the locker room like he’s a celebrity. And me? I’m just… I don’t know. I’m me. I cheer and I study and I try not to let my GPA fall apart and I pretend I’m not crushing on someone completely out of my league.

So no. I’m not gonna say anything.

Because maybe I did catch him looking at me the other day when I tied my hair up. Maybe he does stay a little longer when we’re done. Maybe he leans in a little closer than necessary. But maybe I’m imagining it. Maybe I want it too bad and I’m just reading into everything. I don’t want to be that girl. I don’t want to get hurt.

So I’m gonna do what I’m supposed to do. Help him pass stats. Smile when he brings me candy. Laugh at his dumb jokes. Pretend like my heart doesn’t skip a beat every time he says my name.

I’m just going to help him pass stats. That’s all this is. Right? God, I’m so dumb.

—

You were fucked. Well and truly screwed.

You couldn’t even focus during practice. Missed counts, off-beat claps, a completely botched dismount that nearly took you and the poor girl spotting you both out in one go. Natasha pulled you aside with that look—the one that said she was two seconds away from losing it—and muttered something about getting your shit together because the big game was in a week and this wasn’t the time to be spacing out.

But how were you supposed to focus? Your diary was missing.

Your actual, physical, spiral-bound diary filled with every unfiltered thought you’d been too scared to say out loud. The same one where you’d spent the last four pages gushing about Bucky freaking Barnes like some sad, delusional teenage cliché. You didn’t even want to think about what you wrote last night, something about his arms and the way he smiles and how you swore he looked at you differently when you tied your hair up. It was humiliating.

You never should’ve taken it out of your room. You knew it was a bad idea. But Yelena had been on one of her ‘I’m bored and nosy’ benders, and the last time you left anything out, she’d read your old poetry journal and quoted it back to you at breakfast. You weren’t about to risk that again. So, like a total idiot, you shoved your diary in your bag before heading to class, thinking you’d keep it safe with you.

The entire day had been chaos. You barely managed to scarf down lunch between lectures, and by the time your 3 p.m. class let out, you were already sprinting across campus to make it to Bucky’s place for tutoring. Not that you actually got much tutoring done. You never did, not when he looked at you with that stupid, easy grin, or leaned back in his chair like he owned the air around him. One second you were going over statistical formulas, and the next you were talking about childhood pets and favourite movies, laughing like you hadn’t just been drowning in assignments ten minutes earlier. Time always slipped away around him. You ended up bolting to cheer practice.

It wasn’t until hours later, back in your dorm with your bag dumped upside down on the floor, that you realised your diary was missing. Your diary. 

You’d spent a solid hour panicking, then a full thirty minutes rummaging through the lost and found at the campus security office, practically elbow-deep in a box of mismatched gloves and cracked phone cases. The guy behind the desk eventually looked up from his screen, where he was rather obviously playing solitaire, and told you with the energy of someone who very much did not care that maybe it hadn’t been handed in.

You wanted to scream.

Now your most personal, most mortifying thoughts were just out there. Floating around. God only knew where or with who. And sure, maybe whoever found it wouldn’t read it. Maybe they’d be a decent human being and just turn it in without flipping through. But let’s be honest, if you found a diary with someone’s deepest secrets in it, you’d probably peek too.

You were going to be sick. Actually sick. And not because Natasha had you running suicides again like she was training you for the NFL, but because your life might genuinely be over. Because if he found it? What if you left it in his room? What if Bucky read even one word of what you wrote?

You didn’t even want to finish that thought.

No, you literally couldn’t even finish that thought because, as Natasha finally called for the end of the session and the team began their warm-down stretches, swapping tired smiles and gulping down water, you saw him.

Bucky.

Standing at the edge of the field in that stupid grey hoodie, sleeves pushed up, all smug and handsome like he hadn’t just shown up to ruin your entire existence. He had that lazy, charming smile on his face, the one that made people trust him too fast, the one that made you trust him too fast, and in his hand?

Glittery blue cover. Spiral binding. Your diary.

You were going to throw up. No, genuinely, you could feel your stomach lurch. This was it. This was how you died. Not in a blaze of glory or during a botched basket toss, but here, sweaty, humiliated, and on the verge of a nervous breakdown in the middle of the goddamn football field.

You didn’t even think. You just stormed over before anyone else could notice, grabbing his arm and dragging him behind the bleachers like it was a crime scene. Which it kind of was. A crime against your dignity.

Bucky didn’t protest. He followed easily, letting you pull him along like it was some sort of game. Of course he did. And of course, he was smiling the whole time, like you hadn’t just gone into cardiac arrest ten feet away.

Your heart was pounding so hard you could barely speak. It rattled in your chest like a warning, like it knew this moment was about to go down in your personal hall of shame.

“Where…how…why do you have that?” you hissed, snatching at the diary, but he held it just out of reach, still annoyingly calm.

He raised a brow, like you’d just asked him what two plus two was. “You left it at my place. After tutoring. You were in a rush, remember?”

No. No, no, no, no, no. Of course, it had been his place. Of course.

“I—I didn’t mean to, I wasn’t thinking, I just—” You were spiralling, words tumbling out too fast, too breathless, and your fingers were twitching like you might just snatch the book and sprint across campus. “Did you…Did you read it?”

A beat. He didn’t answer right away. Just looked at you.

And then, God, he smiled. Not the cocky one, not the football-star grin. This one was softer. Slower. Dangerous.

Your stomach dropped.

“I read enough,” he said.

You froze.

Your ears rang. Your mouth went dry. Your body just stopped.

“Enough?” you echoed, voice cracking halfway through. “Enough of what? Enough to—oh my God.”

You turned away instinctively, hand over your mouth like that could somehow keep your soul from escaping your body. Because what did that mean? What was ‘enough?’ Enough to ruin your life? Enough to laugh about it with his frat brothers? Enough to tell every girl on campus that the cheerleader who couldn’t even stick a full-out had a crush on him?

You didn’t even realise you were pacing until Bucky gently caught your wrist.

“Hey. Relax,” he said, and his voice was way too steady for someone holding the social equivalent of a loaded weapon.

You yanked your arm back like his touch burned. “Relax? Bucky, that was private. It’s literally a diary! It’s not for reading, it's for… spiralling in silence!”

He tilted his head a little, watching you carefully, and if he was offended by your panic, he didn’t show it. “You left it on my bed. Open.”

You groaned and covered your face with both hands. “Please. Just kill me. Right here. Hide the body under the bleachers. I’m serious.”

Bucky chuckled—chuckled, like this was some kind of joke—and stepped closer. You could feel his presence even before you lowered your hands again. 

“Why didn’t you just say something?” he asked, quiet now. “If you felt that way.”

Your eyes snapped to his. “Because I didn’t know if it meant anything! You’re nice to everyone. You flirt like it’s a reflex. You remember everyone’s drink orders, compliment their outfits, hold doors and say all the right things. I thought I was just another person you were… nice to.”

He didn’t answer your panicked rambling right away. Just looked at you for a long moment.

“Yeah, I’m nice to people. Doesn’t mean I feel the same way I feel about you.”

Your heart dropped straight into your stomach.

“What?” you whispered, hating how small your voice sounded.

He held your gaze, completely serious now.

“Like I wanna kiss you every time you chew that damn pen cap. Like, I think about you even when I’m supposed to be studying. Like I can’t focus when you’re talking ‘cause all I do is stare at your damn lips.” He paused, and something almost like a laugh broke out of him, soft and self-conscious. “Like I’ve been trying to find a not-creepy way to tell you I like you since the second tutoring started, but you were always so focused and cool and out of my league.”

That last part made your head spin.

“Out of your league?” you repeated, eyes wide.

He smirked, stepping just a bit closer, lowering his voice. “Have you seen yourself? You’re smart, you’re so pretty it’s ridiculous, and you’ve got this whole thing where you act like you don’t know you’re the coolest girl on campus. Of course, I was nervous.”

You blinked at him. ��Bucky… are you flirting with me behind the bleachers while holding my diary hostage?”

He grinned. “Maybe. Depends. Is it working?”

You tried to snatch the diary out of his hand, but he was faster, effortlessly holding it just out of reach like it weighed nothing.

“God, I hate you,” you muttered through gritted teeth, bouncing up on your toes in a desperate attempt to grab it. All it earned you was the embarrassing realisation that you were now fully pressed against his chest, warm, broad, and stupidly solid.

“You really don’t, at least not according to this—” he said, low and smug.

“Bucky!” you warned, trying to reach again, but he shifted it higher.

“Give. It. Back,” you hissed, practically climbing him at this point.

“I will,” he said, eyes flicking down to your mouth in a way that made your stomach twist and your breath catch. “But only if you let me kiss you first.”

Your brain short-circuited. Completely and entirely. The words took a second to process. His voice had dropped, softer now, more serious, like he wasn’t just messing with you anymore.

You looked up at him, heart thudding so loudly against your ribs you swore he could hear it. His eyes searched yours, and for once, he didn’t look like the effortlessly confident guy everyone knew. He looked… nervous like he was the one waiting to be rejected.

“…Fine,” you whispered, the word barely making it past your lips, but your smile gave you away. It was impossible to hide, giddy and crooked and ridiculous.

And then he kissed you.

He bent his head and closed the gap like he’d been waiting weeks for it—maybe he had. His mouth was warm and sure against yours, one arm still holding the diary hostage, the other dropping to your waist, pulling you in like he couldn’t help himself. You kissed him back without thinking, without doubting, like maybe this was the answer you’d been afraid to ask for all along.

When you finally broke apart, breathless and blinking at each other like idiots, he handed over the diary with a grin.

“Okay,” you whispered, still a little breathless. “That was… good.”

“Just good?” He smirked.

You rolled your eyes, cheeks burning. “Don’t push it.”

He laughed softly, thumb still brushing your cheek. “So… does this mean I get to keep seeing you after stats is over? Or do I have to fail on purpose to keep you around?”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“You’re right. You’d probably kill me.”

“More like definitely.”

There was a beat of silence, the kind that didn’t feel awkward. He looked at you like he already knew what you were thinking. And for once, you didn’t feel like running from it.

You were so, so screwed.

But maybe… in the best way possible.

[wosoarsenalwfc]

my car is replaceable, ur not

steph catley x reader

summary : renee has finally given you guys a day off and you need to do some grocery shopping. steph rather play fifa then come with you. you take her car and on your way back from the shops, you get into a car crash and lose consiousness. hospital calls steph and when you wake up your more worried about damaging stephs car then yourself.

warnings : car crash, hospital, unconsiousness

Renee had finally done the impossible, she had granted the arsenal wfc team a full day off. No training, no meetings, no recovery sessions. Just 24 glorious hours to do absolutely nothing, which, in your mind, translated to: groceries. The fridge had been empty since the last away trip, and you'd been surviving off protein bars, takeaways and questionable leftovers (Steph called them exotic cuisines but both you and your stomach did not appreciate eating a peanut butter and pickle bagel) for three days now.

You were halfway through putting on your sneakers when you looked over at Steph, who was lounged across the couch in sweats, deeply focused on a game of FIFA, looking extra huggable. She didn’t even glance up when you called her name.

“Steph, come with me,” you said, grabbing your keys. “I have to do a big shop. Help me carry stuff with those big muscles of yours?”

She waved a hand lazily, though you could see her tense up to show her muscles.

“Babe, I just got Foden, I can’t abandon him now.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled. This was typical. “Fine,” you sighed as you walked out the door, taking Steph's car keys, instead of yours.

You didn't realise however until you spent 10 minutes trying to open your car with Steph's keys, failing to realise that it was the car behind you that kept lighting up. Oh well you thought, Steph would never know and plus, Steph's car always smelt like her perfume (and occasionally Calvin's shampoo). You got into the front seat and backed out of the garage.

******

You had just finished loading the last bag into the trunk when the traffic light turned green, and you turned out of the parking lot. The intersection was quiet, your windows down, your mind drifting to what snack Steph was definitely going to steal from the bags.

You never saw the car speeding through the red light.

The sound was thunderous—metal twisting, glass shattering, a moment of pure chaos before the world went black.

*******

Steph had just scored a beautiful goal in FIFA when she realised you had been gone for more than 4 hours already. Worry and panic ran through her and suddenly her phone buzzed.

Unknown Number.

She almost didn’t answer, but something in her gut told her to.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Stephanie Catley?”

“Yes…”

“This is St. Benjamin's Hospital. We have someone here listed with you as their emergency contact, they were in a car accident. (y/n) (l/n),”.

Her world stopped as she ran to find her car keys but they were no where to be seen. Sighing, she picked up yours, not yet figuring out that if your car was in the garage and hers wasn't, you had taken hers.

******

You opened your eyes slowly, the harsh white hospital lights making you squint. Everything ached. Your head, your side, your legs. But you were breathing.

Someone was holding your hand—tightly. You turned slightly and saw Steph, her eyes red-rimmed, face pale, lips pressed into a tight line.

“Hey,” you croaked.

“Jesus, you’re awake,” she breathed, a shaky laugh escaping. “You scared the hell out of me.”

You blinked at her, groggy. “Wait… the car. Steph—your car. I’m so sorry.”

She looked at you like you’d grown a second head. “You nearly died and you're worried about my car?”

“I'm so sorry, I accidentally took your keys and I wasn't bothered to go grab mine and plus your car smells like you. I'll pay for the insurance or a...” you ranted.

Her face broke into a soft, wet smile and she kissed your pout and interrupting you mid sentence. “You’re an idiot, my car is replaceable, but your not”

“I'm your idiot,” you whispered.

She leaned down and kissed your forehead. “Damn right, I'll go get the nurse now,".

And with that, she walked out the room, not before pecking your cheek and squeezing your hand again.

[valleydoli]

𝜗𝜚 Only You 𝜗𝜚

Cw 𝜗𝜚 MDNI, Stalking, Obsessiveness, Controlling Behaviour, Love Bombing, Murder, Fluff, Kidnapping, Smut, Toxic Sukuna, Yandere Sukuna? Readers a sweetie, (Touch her you die… like actually…)

𝜗𝜚 Series Masterlist…

𝜗𝜚 Previous Chapter | Chapter Three…

𝜗𝜚 WC: 3k

Luckily for Sukuna, his extremely compliant twin agreed to let him pick up his son from school, but the weekend couldn’t have been any slower for Sukuna.

Anything he did to occupy himself and keep you from creeping your way into his mind was a dud. He’s starting to think you’ve put some sort of spell on him. A minute couldn’t pass without you running through his twisted mind.

Any second he had to himself, he would spend it scrolling through your Instagram, saving some, if not all, pictures you’ve posted into a folder he has already made specially for you. Lucky for him, you post a lot, a bit too much. He doesn’t like that, you can't do that when you’re finally his. You just seem too… open.

Too trusting.

Too naïve.

See, you’ve tagged your apartment complex as a location, and you’re wearing a shirt with your work logo in another one of your posts. Your profiles are public for God's sake.

You’re incredibly naive.

You don’t know half of the disgusting, evil men out there. But it’s fine, he’s here now. Sukuna will always be there to keep you safe. He’s your protector. He’s your saviour. He was put on this earth for the sole purpose of protecting you, his angel.

You are his angel.

“What’re you doing to me?” Sukuna whispers to himself. He’s never felt this way before. He's never had someone occupy his mind to this extent. He’s never wanted to be with a woman like this. He doesn’t do relationships, as cliche as it sounds, but he would have rather been alone for the rest of his life. He's never wanted to have a girlfriend by his side, to hold, to kiss, to love, to protect. But with you, it’s different, you’ve changed him for the better. He needs you, and you need him.

You need each other.

*Ping*

‘I’ve found some stuff on the girl…’ Toji messages

Sukuna sighs heavily. Toji really tests his damn patience.

‘Like what, Toji? Don’t beat around the bush.’

‘My bad…’

‘She’s studying Art at university, in her 2nd year, and umm, she’s also a teacher at Megumi's preschool. Yano with your nephew… probably should have mentioned that, huh?’

What. The fuck. Jin AND Toji knew who you were before him?!

‘Toji, don’t piss me off. I told you her name, you don’t know her fucking name?’

‘I’m sorry, I dont know her fucking name. They just call her Miss Fluttershy or somethin, from that kids' show? My little horse? I think she mentioned her name before, I just forgot…’

‘You’re so fucking useless sometimes.’ Sukuna runs his large hand down his face.

My God. Yuji talks about you every fucking day. You gave him those stupid colouring books.

“Miss Fluttershy.”

The kids’ just as obsessed with you as he is.

‘Do you know what days she’s working?’

‘Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays’

‘Perfect.’

~~~

As Monday finally rolls by, Sukuna couldn’t be more thrilled to see you again. There hasn’t been a second since he met you that he hasn’t thought about you. What will you wear? A dress? It’s quite warm today. What perfume will you use? Do you have a favourite? How will you style your hair? In a bun? No, a ponytail!

His body is practically buzzing with excitement just to see your face again.

To smell you.

To hear your voice…

The way you say his name... It’s been echoing through his mind.

So soft and delicate.

What would you sound like yelling his name? What would you sound like moaning his name, while he slid his thick inches into your tight walls.

“Fuck…” he sighs, as he rubs against his growing member—

No.

Stop.

It’s almost 14:00, he’s got 30 minutes until he needs to pick up Yuji, (and meet the love of his life again,) and he looks a fucking mess. Hair disheveled, five o’clock shadow. He looks nasty. It’s not good enough for him. It’s not good enough for you.

Sukuna finally pulls himself out of bed, throwing on a wife-beater, a grey tracksuit and shaving his five o’clock shadow.

Great. Presentable.

15 minutes.

15 minutes until he sees you again.

~~~

“Come on, Yuji, honey, your daddy’s here.”

“No, it’s not my Papa, it’s Uncle,” the pink-haired boy says as he grasps onto your hand.

Oh, the mysterious brother Jin always speaks about, and the Uncle little Yuji admires.

“Really? I can’t wait to meet him! I’m sure he’s just as lovely as you.”

“No, he’s a big meanie,” The young boy deadpans.

Oh…

As you turn the corner with little Yuji trailing by your side, you’re faced with someone you didn’t expect to see at your place of work.

Sukuna.

How does he know where you work— wait. Is he here for Yuji? He’s Jin’s brother? The brother Jin and Yuji mentioned countless times?

There you are, and you look so beautiful. He was right, you’re wearing a dress. A floral dress. How adorable. He just wants to dress you up like the doll you are— wait.

You’re flustered. Why are you flustered? Aren’t you happy to see him? Did he do something wrong?

“Sukuna? You’re Yuji's uncle?” You inquired, “Wow… Come to think of it, you guys look so much alike. I should have noticed the moment I looked at you, huh?”

You begin to chuckle to yourself

“Actually, I think Jin and Yuji are happier looking than you.”

“He’s always angry, Miss Flutter,” Yuji chimes in.

He’s holding your hand why is he still holding your fucki—

No, he’s not about to be jealous of his 4-year-old nephew, no way.

Control yourself.

“Mhm, that little brat is my nephew.”

“I’m not a brat!” Yuji calls out

“You’re right, sweetheart, you’re the cutest one here, but don’t tell anyone I said that, okay? It’s our little secret.”

He vigorously nods his head, “Mhm, I promise!”

You’re good with kids, you’re so good with kids. You don’t understand how attractive that makes you. Oh, how desperately he wants to make you a mother. A mother to his kids, his twin—

“Suku, can Miss Flutter get ice cream with us?” He hears his nephew say.

Oh my God.

Yuji, you fucking genius.

“He’s right, you should come, it’s by my place, ‘Kaspas.’ I can take you home afterwards?”

Say yes.

“I do love that place, but I wouldn’t want to intrude…”

Angel, there wouldn’t even be a point in Sukuna's miserable life where you could intrude. Ever. If he could keep you by his side forever. He would.

“You could never intrude. Come on, my treat before our date.” He smirks as he desperately tries to convinces you to get ice cream with him… and Yuji.

Just fucking say yes. Do you not want to be around him?

“Hmm… okay fine, I’ll come along. Let me get my stuff quickly.”

Thank fuck.

Sukuna lets out a relieved sigh. You’re difficult. Is that normal for you? If it is, he's got to correct it. He can't have a disobedient girl by his side.

No way.

Again, Yuji pulls him out of his thoughts, “Suku, do you like Miss Flutter?” The young boy asks as he looks up at his uncle.

Sukuna chuckles and leans down to the boy’s ear and whispers,

“Don’t be a nosy brat.”

~~~

As you make your way to the car park, with Yuji still grasping onto your hand, you come into sight with Sukuna's car, an extremely expensive car. What the hell does he do for a living?

“Detective,” He answers back.

“Huh?”

“You’re thinking out loud. I’m a detective,” he admits.

“Woah, it pays well clearly,” you say as he opens the car door for you.

“Aren’t you a gentleman?”

“Just for you, angel,” he winks.

You’ve been watching him drive for the past five minutes. You can’t help but stare. He’s so beautiful. He and Jin hardly look alike as twins. Don’t get it twisted, Jin is just as attractive as his brother, but there’s something so ethereal about Sukuna's features. Almost as if he’s not a real person. Does he have any flaws? He was perfectly sculpted by the gods themselves. His arms are… massive, he clearly spends a lot of his time in the gym. His nose… is so… rideable. My goodness, how did you get this guy to approach you?

“You’re staring, angel, you like what you see?” Sukuna questions, as he cocks his brow.

“Yes, I actually do.” You shyly replied

“Well, we don’t live far from each other, you’re more than welcome to see me more.”

“I know I’m just— I’m really busy, as much as I’d like to see you, I need to focus on school and work…”

Sukuna wants to be mad, but you’re such a good fucking girl. You should focus on your studies, yes, but what about him? His focus is on you right now, so why isn’t yours on him?

Bullshit

“But, maybe we could have dinner tonight?” You innocently ask.

“I’m making lasagna, do you like it?”

“I love it, Miss Flutter!” Yuji chimes from the backseat

Honestly, Sukuna forgot Yuji was here.

Sukuna sternly looks at the boy through his rearview mirror. “No, you’re going home after this, brat.” He asserts.

“Hmph,” you hear from the sulking child, as he crosses his arms and pouts his lips.

“I’ll love whatever you’re making,” He grins.

“You might be my biggest fan behind Yuji, Sukuna. You’re not gonna start stalking me, are you?”

Sukuna grin falters

“‘Course not, I’m a normal guy. I promise.”

Liar.

~~~

The three of you arrive at the dessert parlour, 20 minutes later. It’s understandably packed since it’s a warm day. You find a table in the corner of the shop, giving Yuji the seat by the window, and Sukuna sitting opposite you.

“Hi, what can I get you guys today?”

“Cookies and cream!” Yuji yells at the server

“And for you, pretty?”

Sukuna's eyes darken and snap towards the boy. The fuck did he say?

You giggle.

You fucking giggled.

You think that pathetic attempt at flirting is cute?

“Vanilla ice cream, please, and some cookie dough.”

“And for you?” the guy mutters at Sukuna.

Sukuna side-eyes the server and mumbles a quick “nothing.”

The audacity this kid has to speak to you like that and you like it?!

“Sukuna, are you okay? You don’t want anything?”

“I'm not big on sweet things,” he comments bluntly.

“Oh-kayy, it’ll be about five minutes.” He finally walks away.

That little shit. Who the fuck does he think he is. And why the fuck are you feeding into his bullshit?

“What a creep,” he hears you say.

“I swear, everytime i come here he does that shit, it’s boring.”

“Does he bother you?”

“Every damn time. I just pretend I’m into it now, he was way creepier before,” you pout as you look out the window.

Sukunas lips twitch into a smirk.

Angel, you're never seeing that piece of shit again after today. Don't worry your pretty little head.

He’ll protect you.

“Why don’t we take it to go? And I’ll take you and the kid home before dinner,” Sukuna proposes.

“Yeah, I’d like tha—“ you begin to say but that dumbass server cuts you off.

“Here are your orders. And this is for you,” he winks at you before walking away.

It’s his number.

“Well, I guess he’s feeling confident today, huh?” You awkwardly say.

“Come on, Yuji, let’s go,” you say as you grab his smaller hand in yours to leave. You make sure not to pick up the tissue with the server's number on it and make your way to Sukuna's car. But don’t worry, Sukuna definitely made sure to pick up the tissue and stuff it in the pocket of his joggers.

“How about you take Yuji back without me, and I get started on dinner? I'll text you my address,” you say, but you don’t give Sukuna the chance to answer back, you’re already walking away.

“Bye, Yuji!” You wave.

Sukuna hates to see you go but fuck, he loves to watch you leave. How long until he gets a hold of you, really? How long until he can see you every second of every day? Really, how long? What if he kept watch of you—no, that's too much… is it though? He’d be able to keep an eye on you from afar, for now at least. It's not too much if it's keeping you safe.

“C'mon, kid, let’s go.”

~~~

You've never cooked for a guy before. I mean, you've cooked for Satoru before, but he's not a guy, he's… Satoru. Satoru, who lives down the hall, Satoru. You know? You wonder if he and Sukuna will get along if you both continue seeing each other.

You've texted Sukuna your address, so he should arrive soon. Luckily, you're prepared to have guests today, your apartment is spotless, well besides your bedroom but he won’t see that. Fuck you’re nervous, over some guy? But he's not just some guy. You've known his brother, his twin brother, for over a year now. This is insane.

Finally, you hear a knock at your door. He’s here. Gosh, are your palms sweating right now?

Calm down, you’ve got this. The food looks good, and you look good. Everything's going to be just fine. Now just open the door.

Once you swing your door, you’re faced with the biggest assortment of flowers. Peonies, roses.

You're in awe.

“Sukuna… these flowers… they’re my favourtie.”

You tweeted that they were your favourite flowers in 2018… Yes, he scrolled that deep into your socials.

“Gosh, they're so beautiful, thank you. I don't know where to put them. Come in quick before the food gets cold.” You say as you hurry excitedly to your kitchen.

Your apartment's cute.

Cosy, for a girl like you.

Sukuna bets you’d feel cosier in his apartment. You’d have so much more space for your books, your pretty shoes, your dresses. You’d feel at home. Home is wherever he is. You need to live with him. You need his protection. But for now he can just watch you. How? He has 4 mini cameras stuffed in his pockets he's planning on hiding around your apartment. There’s already one outside your door so he can see who comes in and out of your place.

He just needs to figure out where he wants to put the rest of them.

“Here, sit. Do you want something to drink? I have wine, some tropical juice and water of course.”

“I’ll just have water, I've actually got to go into work later.”

“Work.” He’s actually going to beat the shit out of the server that’s been harassing.

That’s still work, right?

“So,” you begin as you take a seat opposite Sukuna.

“I still can’t believe you’re Jin’s twin. You just seem the complete opposite especially in looks. You’re fraternal, right?”

“Yeah, I’m 6 minutes older.” He tells you

You sigh longingly, “I’ve always wanted twins… girls of course.”

You were made for each other.

“Wow, so do I, what a coincidence,” he admits.

“We might as well get started then, huh?” You suggest as you sip your wine.

He chokes on his drink.

What’d you say?

But before Sukuna can reply back there’s a knock on your door.

“Hey, you in there?”

A guy? What man is looking for you at this hour.

You roll your eyes before pushing back your chair and making your way to open the door for said man.

“Yes, ‘Toru? I’m kind of busy right now.”

‘Toru?

“I’m sorry but I could really need some help… please?” This “‘Toru” says with a charming smile.

Annoying.

“‘Kuna, you don’t mind if I help my neighbour quickly?”

“Kuna…”

“No, not at all.” Now if he didn’t need to hide the 4 cameras in his pocket around your house, he would mind. But this “‘Toru” guy is honestly helping him out.

“Ten minutes,” you tell him as you shut your door.

Sukuna instantly rises from his seat and makes a Beeline for your bedroom.

It’s messy.

You didn’t make your bed. Do you leave your bed unmade everyday? There’s a bottle of water on your side table. You didn’t finish it.

Weren’t you thirsty last night?

Sukuna runs his large hands across your bed sheets. Running his fingers along each crease you’ve made.

What side do you sleep on? Away from the door, right?

Makes you feel safe.

“Who else has slept in here? That ‘Toru?” He spits as he kneels down to your bed level

He can smell you. So sweet. What perfume is that? He puts his face right into your sheets and breathes your scent in deeply.

“Fuck,” he mutters into your sheets.

He was practically drooling.

“God, I think I love you, Angel.”

He’s started to rub on his crotch, your smell is getting to him.

Rock hard.

He’s a creep but he doesn’t care. You’re like a drug.

An addiction.

His addiction.

He begins to pull out his leaky length from his boxers, rubbing his thumb across his swollen red tip.

So much pre-cum it’s dripping onto the side of your duvet.

He strokes himself back and forth steadily, still breathing into your unmade bed.

It’s your hand stroking him; pretend it’s you. You’re whispering his name softly…

Sensually

His pace quickens.

You might be back soon. He needs to hurry. You can’t see him in such a… pathetic state. You can’t see him in this state at all. Not yet at least.

The schlick sound of his length could be heard from the other room, he’s desperate at this point. Whining for you, pleading for you.

“L-love you. Ugh, I love you, Angel.” He cries out as if he's confessing to you.

“Need you. So b-bad.”

His core tightens, hands clutching onto your sheets.

Wishing the load he’s about to release was spilling into your womb instead.

Soon

His throat lets out a guttural moan, he’s cumming, but not into you.

Into his hand.

His fucking hand.

Pathetic.

After Sukuna recuperates himself, he places each camera in a spot he knows you won’t see, but he’ll definitely see you.

He also takes a few presents for himself from your washing basket.

He’ll definitely make good use out of them.

It’s been 10 minutes and you’re not back yet. What’re you doing with your neighbour?

Just as Sukuna is wondering where you are, you open your front door dishing out apologies for your absence.

He’s not mad… Only because he has a date to attend.

A date with the Parlour Boy.

𝜗𝜚 Chapter Three…

a/n: ehhhh. ehhhhhhh he was creeping me out at the end icl but uh what do you think? i’ve never write this much before. i know for a fact im gonna come back and rewrite things in the future but here you go! goodnight ♡

[seaborgium-dazies]

Are requests open? I can’t tell cause it says love letter, so if not you can ignore this! Buttttt if they are…

May I have Kirishima, Iida, Todoroki and Midoriya (you can add all them if you want I just like those 4 the best lol) with a reader who was gone for a bit, maybe they were in another country due to family drama or someone died so they’ve been gone for a couple months, and reader surprises them one day without telling them they’re back???

I love you’re writing by the way, so beautiful

Waiting here for you to come back around

Aweeee thank you so much!!! I hope you enjoy this anon! <3 Seeing mha boys after being apart for a while because of family stuff cw: mutual pining; fluff; no established relationship but something better (mutual crushes ayeee) 🌊: deku, iida, kirishima, shoto

Deku:

Deku was deep in thought, analyzing a quirk he saw earlier when he heard a familiar knocking pattern. As soon as he recognized it he bolted to the door. You would've expected the door to be ripped out of it's hinges with the force deku put into his swing.

"Y/N!"

Deku was beaming and upon seeing you standing in front of his door with a sheepish grin he embraced you in an enthusiastic hug.

"Izuku!"

You couldn't help but laugh at the adorable display of just how much he had missed you. That hug of his nearly knocked the air out of your lungs. He seemed to realize the gravity of his actions only after he pulled away.

He scratched his neck as he bashfully explained.

"Sorry ... I've just been a little worried about you, come right in".

So you took him up on his invitation, spending the rest of the evening talking about any and everything. Satiating Izukus curiosity and getting anything heavy off of your chest.

Mid sentence you noticed a tall stack of papers on his desk and you couldn't help but give izuku a questioning look.

"Ah, yes I almost forgot! These are for you; the notes from the classes you missed! I even color coded it after your system to make it easier to catch up-"

In that moment you really had no idea what you had done to deserve such a beautiful and kind soul. Thinking about you even when you were so far away. And going as far as inconveniencing himself every day while not knowing when you would come back. It brought tears to your eyes and a strange warmth to your chest.

Iida:

Iida sighed in frustration as another one of his text messages went through. No answer from you. How irresponsible can one even be?! He massaged his temples before writing out another stern text.

He was so fired up that he was already hearing things. Iida rolled his eyes at himself for imagining the characteristic ping of your phone when it receives a text message. And just as he was about to put his phone down to collect himself he heard another one... Did that come from the hallway?

He swiftly opened the door to his dorm to reveal you standing there with your hand already in a knocking motion. Instead of going through with the knock you reverted to small jazz hands and a meek

"Surprise?"

Iida called out your name and immediately embraced you in a bear hug. But he pulled away after a couple of moments to give you a piece of his mind.

"What are you doing here y/n? And why haven't you been responding to my messages? What were you thinking?! It's extremely reckless and unsafe to do such things!-"

And even though iida went on a detailed lecture about not keeping him in the loop you could see in the pink of his cheeks and the way his hands were gesturing more wildly than usual, that he really just wanted to reprimand you because he missed you so much.

But you knew just how to make it up to him. Mid sentence you pulled one of iidas favorite snacks out of your backpack, this time in a limited edition flavor which was unavailable in japan. That got him to abandon his scolding to marvel at the package you were holding out to him.

He grabbed you by the wrist as he dragged you into his room for you to try the new candy together. You knew that iida would let go of any petty words now since your temporary absence had one upside.

And even though iida blamed his forgiveness on the joy about his favorite candy of all time, in reality he couldn't handle the fact that even when you were in such a difficult situation you remembered what his favorite candy was and even went out of your way just to make him a little happier. His rosy cheeks betrayed him though.

You still weren't in the clear after that because iida demanded that you talk about the situation with him for your own good; so your mental health and school performance won't suffer.

Todoroki:

"It's open"

Shoto's neutral voice made you grin, but opening his dorm door while holding something heavy was kind of a challenge. So mid struggle the door was opened by shoto himself, revealing you with a giant bag of fruit in your arms.

"Y/n?" Shoto's voice betrayed him, the positive surprise apparent. But Shoto took you down a couple pegs as he observed

"You look rough".

Without waiting for an answer he took the heavy bag out of your arms and before you could tell him that they were for him he asked you

"How was travel? When did you get back?"

"Hello to you too Shoto"

You walked into his dorm room before continuing

"Everything was fine, the whole experience was just rather exhausting"

You had been a little anxious because shoto hadn't been messaging you that much while you were away although you knew that it just wasn't his style to text lots. The truth was that he wanted to give you space because he was sure that if you wanted to talk about it you would reach out.

He was more than glad that you were here now and although he enjoyed the souvenir you brought him, it didn't measure up to the joy he felt to see you again. He practically had to restrain himself because his hands were drifting towards yours all the time. So even if he didn't explicitly tell you how much he missed you, it was clear as day.

Kirishima:

Kirishima was biting the inside of his cheek while staring at the message he last sent you. It was left on delivered and he couldn't help but be worried sick. The whole situation you were in worried him to hell and back.

Leaving in a hurry seemed terrible enough but bad cell service and cryptic sad messages? He felt as if he was trapped in the ninth circle of overthinking hell. Did you eat enough? Drink enough? Did you family give you a hard time?

Speaking- or rather thinking- of the devil he heard you calling out his name from outside of his dorm room.

Kirishima opened his door in record time and upon seeing you he opened his arms which such élan it made you wince. You braced yourself for impact but were met with the most gentle bear hug imaginable instead.

As if Kirishima had sensed exactly what you needed you melted into his warm embrace like butter on top of pancakes. He released you out of his grip after what felt like ages, both of you grinning from ear to ear.

He invited you in and after catching up you spotted a little figurine on his desk that you never saw before.

"Oooh who got you this?"

You took the small figurine into your hands. It was a baby chick with a cute pink ribbon and a blue flower on its head - the craftsmanship was insane and it must've been expensive. The thought of some girl gifting this to him made jealousy well up in your chest. But before you could get the wrong ideas he explained,

"Uhm.. It's actually for you... I saw it and it reminded me of you so I just thought I'd get it in case you were feeling bummed after returning."

"Awww wait, really?"

And as Kirishima saw a hot pink blush spreading from your shoulders to the tips of your ears he thanked the heavens that you safely returned to him.

Buy me a coffee? <3

©️ seaborgium-dazies 2025

leave some love! Reblogs and comments are dearly appreciated<3

[holyblonded]

hey hope you’re okay!! could we have some head cannons along the line of azulita having an awful day, estrella is being chaos as per but today it really gets to azulita as she’s already been beaten by everything else today, she gets out the car slams the door and estrella is like um what’s wrong with her. Ale already knows because of course she does, olga is stood in the kitchen frozen when the other two walk in, ale just says a quiet greeting and says gimme 5 minutes, she goes and knocks on azuls door and just helps to ground her and let her emotions out, 10 minutes later they both walk out and azul goes to olga for a hug while ale grabs estella by the collar telling her to cut it out, as it’s not one of those days, and just some fluffy family stuff to end a bad day

sorry that is so long🤦🏻‍♀️

— no i got you and i love it

— azulita’s day starts bad and just keeps getting worse. she spills coffee on her project, forgets her gym shoes, bombs a quiz, and by the time estrella starts her usual chaotic teasing after school, it’s like the final straw.

— in the car estrella’s joking around, throwing goldfish at her and making dumb comments, completely oblivious. azulita’s jaw is locked so tight it hurts. when the car pulls up to the house, azulita doesn’t say a word, just slams the door so hard the whole car shakes.

— estrella freezes mid-laugh, blinking after her like uhhh?? she turns to ale like what did i do?? and ale, who clocked azul’s bad mood from the second she got in the car, just says, deadpan, “figure it out.”

— inside, olga’s at the kitchen counter looking at her laptop but freezes when she hears the front door slam. she looks at ale like what now?? and alexia just shakes her head and mouths five minutes.

— azulita’s door is shut, the kind of shut that says do not even breathe near me but ale knocks softly anyway. when azulita doesn’t answer, ale just cracks it open and steps in.

— she finds azulita sitting on the bed, face in her hands, shaking a little but holding it all in like she always tries to do. ale doesn’t say anything. she just sits down next to her, nudges her gently with her shoulder.

— “rough one, huh?” she says real low, like she’s talking to a scared kitten.

— that’s all it takes. azulita starts crying quietly, hiding her face, and ale just wraps an arm around her, grounding her, letting her cry without any pressure.

— after a few minutes, ale says, “you don’t have to hold it all in, azul. not here.” and azulita finally lets out a choked little laugh through her tears because this family is so unfairly kind and she doesn’t know how to handle it yet.

— about ten minutes later they come out of the room. azulita’s face is a little blotchy but she’s calmer. she heads straight for olga, who instantly opens her arms and azulita just melts into her chest, letting olga hold her tight like it’s the only thing keeping her standing.

— estrella, meanwhile, is still looking lost and guilty in the kitchen. ale grabs her by the collar of her hoodie and drags her gently but firmly back, whispering, “cut it out. not one of those days, stell.”

— estrella just nods quickly, biting her lip, all her chaos energy drained in two seconds flat.

— the rest of the evening is slow and gentle. ale orders takeout, olga sets up a movie in the living room, and all five of them (counting valerie, of course) pile onto the couch.

— azulita ends up tucked under one of olga’s arms with estrella pressed into her other side, not even teasing her once. ale’s got valerie sprawled on her chest snoring lightly.

— halfway through the movie, azulita mumbles a soft “thanks” against olga’s sweater. olga kisses the top of her head and says, “always, bebé.”

— estrella slips a bag of skittles into azul’s lap without a word. azul doesn’t say anything either but she pulls the bag open and holds it between them to share.

— it’s one of those nights where nothing fixes the day except just…being safe, and being loved.

— and azulita thinks maybe that’s enough. maybe it’s more than enough.

[wlwsoccerfics]

There must be a way(Mary EarpsXKidReader)

A/N: i switched it up a Little, so it was gonna be easier to write.

Warning:Reader has CP, angst is very much present, Talks about bullying

Summary: you want to Play soccer like your Mom and her Team but you have struggles cause you have CP. Or at least want to try it.

You watched your mama practice at England Camp, sitting on a bench. Sighing softly to yourself. You wanted to play as well. But you wore leg braces cause of your CP. You were quite frustrated at the moment. The fact that you currently were 12 years old and a preteen didn't help at all with your mood. You didn't have to wear the braces all the time anymore like when you were Younger but you knew you could never be like your Mom or your aunties Tooney and Lessi.

Hannah is walking over to you, sitting down next to you. She had noticed you had been acting different from your usual self since you had arrived at Camp with your Mom yesterday.

"you okay, Kid?" Hannah asked. You shook your head no.

"not really, this sucks. I am never gonna be able to play football like you guys do. And that's all i really want." You admitted. Sniffling softly. Quickly wiping away a single tear.

"i am sorry that you got dealed those cards. It must be really hard." Hannah stated.

"i get bullied at school. People call me Forrest Gump!" You explained. Hannah was quite shocked to hear that.

"y/n...you know those people are stupid for saying stuff like that? You are amazing just the way you are!" Hannah told you.

"thanks, but that doesn't feel like it! I just want to play like you guys do and be normal for a bit!" You answered.

"normal is boring, you know?" Grace said and sat down next to you.

"i agree with Grace!" Hannah replied.

"what's going on here?" Your Mom Mary asked when she approached your little group.

"i want to Play football and be more like you. Not getting called names like 'Forrest Gump' or 'weird legs'. It's frustrating." You explained. This all was new information for your Mom. Which you just realized that you forgot to tell her this. Biting down on your bottom lip.

"y/n, why didn't you tell me about you getting bullied?" Your Mom asked. Kneeling down in front of you. Placing a Hand on your knee.

"...i didn't want to worry you!" You admitted.

"Love, you are my daughter. I am always gonna worry about you!" Your Mom said.

Later that day you were working on a Powerpoint you had to do for school. so you were upstairs in the room you shared with your Mom. While she was downstairs in the gaming room with Leah, Hannah , Millie B. and Chloe . Hannah and your Mom have explained to the others what's been going on.

"she does have great Hand eye coordination. So maybe we can try give her Goalkeeper practice. And she can work with the Physical therapist here. Some people with CP can actually Play Sports and maybe that the was for her." Hannah suggested.

"she has gotten so far with her walking and soon is getting her Leg braces off. We gonna try it without them. How long she can keep herself on her feet. So this might be worth a try!" Your Mom admitted.

"we just all have be there for her so she knows how loved she is. She has always been our little lionesses lucky Charm." Leah answered.

"maybe we should organize a Football Tournament for Kids and Teens with CP in the future." Millie B. said.

"that's actually a good Idea." Chloe told them.

Your Mom came to you after that talk and told you what they had planned. Leah had already talked to the Physio.

"so what do you think about it? Would you want to try and be a Goalkeeper? You don't have to Run so much but you have to be able to stand for a long period of time." Your Mom said.

"yes i want to push myself to my limits and see if i can be decent or at least i can say i got to try it out and feel normal." You explained. Smiling a bit.

"then we will start tomorrow. Today you have a Session with the physical therapist though." Mady said. You hugged your mom.

"thank you, Mom. This means alot to me!" You let her know. You also had a talk about possibly doing online classes all the time so you didn't have to Deal with the bullies!

You had physical therapy. Working on the basics. Physical therapy was always Part of your life. But this was making more fun then it did usually.

The next morning you started with Goalkeeping practice. You had your braces on. Getting the ball thrown into your arms to see how good you could stand when you would have to catch something. It was actually so much fun for you. It was hard but somehow you never got frustrated that day. the Others Girls and your Mom kept pushing you to continue with hyping you up. It was gonna be a long way but at least someone was giving you a Chance. Even If you would end up not being able to do it. And no one was making fun of you. Which was amazing.

[couch-potato28]

Imagine being a Blue Lock manager! ⚽️

VERSION XIII.

(a/n: g-g-goatmaru 🐐 okay i know he’s the gk so his jersey is supposed to be number 1 but i already messed them up since the first ep so no going back now. sorry and luv ❤️)

Warning-none

wc: 0,9k

also: @ttheggrimrreaper @irethepotato @ohagiyo 🔥

——————

FROM THE PROLOGUE:

"Congratulations L/N Y/N! Based on your results, you've earned your place in Blue Lock as the manager of player number...

...99, Gagamaru Gin.”

After confirming your player, you left the room, and headed to collect your stuff from Anri. On the way to the field, you skimmed through your schedule along with his profile sheet, pausing every two seconds at each data. He seemed like a promising player with some oddly fascinating habits, almost like a mystery waiting to be unraveled, making you eager to meet him.

Imagine being Gagamaru Gin’s manager.

——————

Gagamaru Gin who you barely even register during the ongoing match you just walked into before he’s already diving mid-air to kick the ball, leaving a very strong first impression by performing a Scorpion kick if you recall from your studies right.

Did you just witness that in real life? Who is this man and why is he defying gravity so easily? Intrigued, you went closer to the barrier, observing him for the rest of the game.

The sound of the whistle was soon heard, meaning the end of the match. Turning around, you locked eyes, giving him a wave as he slowly approached you.

“Manager?” he assumed from yesterday’s information given by Ego.

“Yes, nice to meet you! I was shocked by your play on the field. That kick was amazing—“ you started, a bit caught up by the whole game as he patiently waited for you to finish.

“Thank you. Uh, what’s your name again?”

——————

•Gagamaru who doesn’t say a word but instead lets his black eyes do the talking during the first week. He’s a giant compared to you, making you feel just a tad bit intimidated by his height, but no worries. He’s actually fun to be around, even getting to the point of joking about his teammates.

•He turns out to be one of the easiest guys to work with, the literal embodiment of a chill guy. He’s usually ready on time, and doesn’t whine during training meaning getting actual work done, making you happily tick off all the schedules planned for the day.

•He’s not a picky eater either, so you don’t even need to worry about him not following his diet.

•You also get to learn how he doesn’t like packaged food at all during that one time when he straight up rejected the snacks you secretly offered him, saying he would much rather have a bowl of fruit than those artificially flavored chips. (makes you want to eat healthier)

•Some strange facts about him include eating with his hands or that his handmade hairtie is made of ivy. No judging tho, you let him do his things although you do offer him utensils. Gives you a personalized ivy bracelet for your birthday.

•Gagamaru who lets you drag him around like a teddy bear, and does what you say without a doubt. You earn his trust quite fast, making him listen to your advice during warm-ups and plays. Between stretches, he’ll tell you some of his crazy adventures.

•“Wait, so did a bear do that to your ear?”

•You swear your heart did something funny when he went from being a striker to a goalkeeper without a complaint. You would have put up a fight with Ego but seeing him enjoy his new position made you relieved, supporting him wholeheartedly.

•He strongly believes that you two will make it through the program together as you hype him up by telling him that with a talent like that, it’s practically guaranteed that he’s gonna have a spot on the team.

——————

AFTER THE U20 MATCH…

•Gagamaru who’s honestly quite the same as before just more focused with sharper instincts and overall improved skills. After the match, his stats got even better than before with quicker reflexes and stronger agility including an inhuman reaction time.

•Sometimes you forget just how strong your player is—easily lifting you up, or helping carry triple the amount of training balls.

•Still, some things never change—his bluntness, nature-loving self unintentionally causes quite a shake in Japan, gaining fans all over the world.

•Pictures and memes of him go viral, like the word goatmaru, or how soulless his eyes are, making some fans wonder if he even blinks. You always explain them to him and loudly laugh at them during the night when you two are supposed to be analyzing his performance.

•You grow closer to Gagamaru over time. From keeping a bit of distance to now you shamelessly making him carry you on his back while you explain your observations, clipboard in hand.

•Or when he lets you brush out his two-toned hair in the morning, making you jealous every time at how soft it is as you listen to him talk about what his teammates have been up to.

•You’re glad that he’s become a bit more human like due to your interactions, easily forming bonds with the new team he’s in. Yet one of his funny habits till to this day remains the same—you catching him sleep, or read mangas inside the goal post, comfortably resting his head inside the net.

•It’s well known how Gagamaru loves animals and nature overall, but one of the most amazing things he does with the fame he got? Mentioning animal cruelty in interviews, and being an activist on national TV. Thanks to him, people began giving more attention to these problems, making you tear up anytime he’s doing an interview.

•His alien-like nature always shows, especially when you’re teaching him cute poses for meeting fans, or when he completely misses your subtle flirting, just staring at you with wide eyes like a confused cub.

[pin-k-ink]

for those of you who wanna know,

i know i’ve been super silent and i’ve been avoiding messages, and honestly, it’s because i’ve been dealing with a lot of shit that i just couldn’t bring myself to talk about

so here’s the deal: earlier this year, around february, my stepdad decided he wanted to move us to another city. he made me, my mom, my little brother, and my stepsister move with him. i had to quit my job because he didn’t want me driving all the way back to my old place every day and promised he’d help me find a job here (that never happened so i’m still stuck with no job, no nothing)

then came ramadan, and i was already stressed as hell. my mom kept working at her old job, getting home at like 5 pm, and i was left to deal with everything for iftar. i thought my stepsister would help me, but she was literally no help at all. she sleeps during the day and stays up all night, and every time i go to cook, she’s knocked out. she wouldn’t even clean the room we shared, and when i was cleaning the other day, i found her used tampons UNDER THE BED!! yeah that happened 🧍‍♀️

i was so fucking mad because i was doing all the cooking and cleaning for five people by myself, and she wouldn’t even wash a dish. i asked my mom to talk to my stepdad and have his daughter at least do something, but she didn’t. and the worst part is that my stepdad justified all of it by saying she’s depressed and doesn’t want to push her too hard because it might trigger her. like, ok, but what about me? i’m literally doing everything, and no one gives a shit. and i’m apparently now allowed to say that to her face because she’s older than me and because of that, i’ve to respect her

then, one night, in the middle of ramadan, my stepdad kicks me, my mom, and my little brother out of the house. just like that, in the middle of the fucking night. mind you, we weren’t even there a month. and of course, i had to leave behind most of my stuff. my clothes, my books, everything. all because i asked my stepsister to help me cook.

so now, my mom and stepdad are divorced (idk if it’s the same in every religion, but once that word is said in our religion, it’s done. no papers, no nothing), and we had nowhere to go. we drove to my aunt’s place in another city, and we’ve been stuck there since. we could barely afford to rent an apartment, and i ended up blowing through all my college savings just to survive. oh, and my stepdad changed the locks on the old house so we couldn’t even get our things back.

so yeah, that’s where i’ve been. still technically homeless, no job, no stability, and trying to figure my life out. i’m dealing with all of this, and it’s hard as fuck to focus on anything else. i haven’t even had the energy to write or do anything for the past couple of months, and that’s why i’ve been silent. i’m really sorry to all of you who’ve been waiting for updates or wondering what happened to me. i didn’t mean to disappear, but everything’s been just too much.

i’ll be back when i can. if i can. but for now, i just need to deal with all this mess. thanks to everyone who’s been patient. i really do appreciate it more than you know <3

[pretty-circa006]

Hii im really looking forward to the next part of unhealthy attachment omg i didnt know how much i need this story. I LOVE THIS STORY SO FUCKING MUCH OH MY GODDDD THANK YOU LIKE THAANK YOU FOR WRITTING THIS😔 ilysm girl. Ik you're probably busy and stuff but i hope the next part to the story will be posted soon..😔 this might be my fav story ever !! Ty for existing🙏🏻

Unhealthy Attachments pt. 10

Comfort

◀︎Previous Part

Coach! Negan x Student! F! Reader

summary Negan comforts you through the aftermath of what happened in PE tags mentions of bullying, probably some medical inaccuracies note hello! long time, no see, but i'm alive and i promise i will keep updating this story 'til it's finished, but i cannot promise those updates will come in a timely manner...i'm sorry :'( i do appreciate your patience and apologize for keeping you guys waiting so long. i love reading your comments and getting sweet messages in my inbox like this one, it really motivates me to keep posting on here, love you guys! :3

wc 1.8k

*you are responsible for your own content consumption. if this is something you DO NOT like, simply DO NOT read or interact :)*

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The cots in the nurses office were uncomfortable, but laying on one felt worlds better than laying injured on the gymnasium's floor. But it felt nowhere near as good as being carried in Negan's arms. Remembering that brief moment was the only silver lining throughout all of this. 

You rested on the cot, head against a cheap, paper thin pillow, staring up at the ceiling. The school nurse had already taken a look at you. You could tell she was feeling guilty for not having believed you the first time you came in. She had explained to you that there was probably just bruising on your abdomen and to take it easy for a couple of days. If you were to see any signs of internal bleeding, she explained that you should probably go to the emergency room. It all kind of went in one ear and out the other. You couldn't really focus on anything other than the now dull pain in your stomach and the burning pit of humiliation in your chest. 

Usually, when your classmates would bully you, you'd be able to keep up an uninterested facade and cry about it later when you were alone. As much as it hurt you to be treated so horribly, you'd never let them see how it really affected you. You didn't want them to have that satisfaction. But that all went out the window today. You let those girls in the bathroom see you cry and everyone in your PE class probably got the impression that hitting you with a few measly dodgeballs was enough to send you toppling over in a fit of pain worthy enough to be rushed to the nurse's office. Great. 

"Hey, hon," the nurse said, breaking you out of your sullen stupor, "I'm gonna be in my office for a bit. I have to give your parents a call since they're listed as your emergency contacts and fill out your accident report." You just nodded your head, not caring if she could see it or not. Today was Monday, so both your parents were probably at the church still and wouldn't get the call. Somehow, that offered you a bit of relief. Dealing with their reactions wasn't something you had the energy to deal with right now. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched the nurse walk off to her office and shut the door behind her. Finally, you let the unshed tears burning in your eyes fall. 

You couldn't hear the door open over the sound of your sniffling, so the sound of Negan's "Hey, doll," startled you a bit. Quickly, you swiped your tears out of your eyes, not that it mattered. He's seen you cry plenty of times before, as a matter of fact, he's held you nearly every time you've cried in front of him. Negan set your backpack down beside your cot before taking a seat in the nearby chair. His presence was comforting, yet you couldn't bring yourself to look at him. He's seen you down before, but not like this. 

"What happened?" He asked softly. 

You continued staring at the ceiling, pretending not to hear him. What happened was already humiliating enough, telling him about it just seemed ten times worse. 

He said your name this time and scooted closer. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't believe you earlier."  That got your attention. You turned your head to face him and whispered, "It's okay." 

"No. It's not. You've never given me a reason not to trust you, so my dumbass should've just taken your word and this woulda  never fuckin happened." 

You laughed to yourself, but ended up wincing at the sensation it caused to your stomach. "I'd probably be here anyway. I came earlier, but the nurse also thought I was tryin' to get out of PE." 

As much as he wanted to be mad at the nurse and place the blame onto her, he had to come to terms with the fact he did the same exact thing. 

"What happened to you?" He tried again. You looked away from him and back at the ceiling, afraid talking about it would reduce you to tears again. You were sure Negan saw you as some little crybaby bitch at this point, which isn't at all the impression you want him to have of you. 

"I...," you paused for a second to think of a believable excuse, "I just don't feel well." 

"Don't go lyin' to me after I just told you I trust you." 

You knew the truth would upset Negan, but apparently your lie upset him, too. 

"Remember that girl I punched before spring break?" 

Pride glossed over Negan at the memory. He was overjoyed to see you stand up for yourself for once. 

"What about her?" He asked, fearing he already knew the answer. 

"Her and her friends..." the lump forming in your throat caused your voice to tremble as new tears burned in your eyes.  

Negan's jaw tensed and his hands balled into fists. 

"They...they jumped m-me in the bathroom," you hurried out before breaking down into sobs. 

Negan was beyond pissed. Pissed that they did that to you, but even more so that he couldn't do anything about it. Maybe a detention and possibly suspension at most, but to him, that wouldn't be enough. 

When he looked up at you again, you were facing away from him, your shoulders shaking as you cried into the mattress. As much as he wanted to go find those girls, he needed to do what he does best and comfort you. He sat on the edge of the small cot and rubbed a soothing hand across your back. 

"It's okay, baby, I'm here," he whispered as he continued rubbing soothing circles on your back. His touch calmed you, as it always does. You turned your body over to face him, taking extra care not to put any pressure on your stomach. For the first time since he's been in here, you look him in the eyes. You could tell he was angry by the way his forehead creased between his eyebrows. His anger wasn't directed at you –it never was. He leaned down and pressed a gentle peck to your forehead, a seemingly innocent gesture if the circumstances aren't considered. His dry, but soft lips and the tickle of his facial hair relaxed you a little. 

The sound of the door to the nurse's office slowly opening captured both of your attentions. Negan quickly sat back in his chair and you wiped away your tears. 

"Oh. Negan, you're here, too," the nurse noted, unamused. She had a pink sheet of paper in her hand and an unreadable look on her face. 

"Nurse Ida," he greeted with a slight nod. 

"Hon, I called your parents, but didn't get an answer. Do you have any way to get home?" 

Before you could open your mouth to reply, Negan spoke up. 

"I can drive her home, it's no trouble." 

A look crossed Nurse Ida's face, but she didn’t press any further. 

"Great," she said, folding that pink sheet of paper in half, "Here's a copy of your accident report in case you need to miss a few days of school." 

"Thanks," you mumbled. 

"Sure. Have a good night, hon. Get home safe." She shot Negan another one of her looks before heading back into her office. 

Negan took the accident report and slipped it into your backpack for you. 

"I'm ready to go now." He nodded and grabbed your backpack, putting the straps over his shoulders. He held out a hand to help you up and you took it. Your stomach still hurt but feels way better than it did earlier. 

"Can you walk?" 

You could, but why pass up another opportunity to be in Negan's arms? 

"No," you lied, barely able to conceal a little smirk. 

Negan shook his head and laughed to himself, his cute dimples making themselves visible again. Like before, he scooped you up easily and carried you to his car. 

...

His car smelled a lot like him– like cigarettes, expensive cologne, and faintly of leather. It's like being swept up in a cloud of Negan. He set your bag in the backseat before getting into the driver's seat. 

He remembered your address from that time your parents invited him over for dinner– at least that's what you assumed since he didn't ask you for it. 

"What do I tell my parents?" you wondered aloud as you watch the scenery breeze by. 

"The truth? Mind if I smoke?" You nodded and he stuck a cigarette in his mouth before lighting it. 

"I feel like my dad would only make it worse if he knew the truth. He might try something crazy like calling the principal or confronting the parents when they come to church." 

"Hmm," he blew a puff of smoke out the window, "I can always walk you to your house and feed them some bullshit lie." 

You laughed to yourself because that's totally something you can see him doing. 

"What if...what if I didn't go home?" 

"And go where?" 

"Could I go home… with you?" 

A thick silence filled the car as regret started to creep its way into your mind. A sigh from Negan disrupted said silence. 

"As much as I'd love to do that, I can't, baby. It's just... my wife wouldn't fuckin approve of me bringing a student into our house and what the hell would your parents think if you didn't come home tonight?" 

Wife. Despite that silver wedding band he always has on, him being married was something you shoved back to the dark corners of your mind. You wanted nothing more than to shrivel up and fly out the window– anything to escape this moment, really– but you were trapped and a lump was starting to form in your throat. 

"...right." 

He stopped the car right in front of your house. You could tell he was about to say something else, but you weren't sure if your heart could handle something else. You reached into the back seat and grabbed your backpack before hurrying out the car. 

You mutter a half-assed thanks before shutting the door and hurrying off to your house. 

Thankfully, you had come home before your parents did and were able to delete the nurse’s voicemail from the landline in your dad’s office. You didn’t have the energy to do anything other than take a shower and get in bed, so you did exactly that. 

You hated that stupid school and everyone in it. Going back tomorrow– or at all, really– seemed like a nightmare. Your only motivation for going has been Negan, but even then the cons were starting to outweigh that one pro. Besides, he’s married. As much as you liked him and as much as you like being with him, you were sure he didn’t feel the same. After all the good times you’ve had with him, he went home to his wife right after. He was probably at home in bed with her now. Probably touching her the way you wish he’d touch you. Probably even telling her how much he loves her. More tears pricked at your eyes, but this time you just let them fall until you fell asleep. 

[codderanged]

After Party - Phillip Graves X Shadow!Reader

A/N : This came to me as I listened to Dealer by S3RL! Sorry it’s so long compared to my usual stuff (ToT ) Also sorry but this one is mega indulgent LMAO. I love myself some acts of service and intimacy via things that aren’t sex and the idea that nudity does not equal sexual tension. Enjoy!!

A/N2 : THIS BITCH WAS 15 PAGES IN GOOGLE DOCS

Word Count : 4,699

TW : Drugs, alcohol, hallucinogenic consumption, description of involuntary actions, reader under the influence, good trip turned bad, anxiety, hallucinations (visual and auditory), nonsexual nudity

No one remembers when it became a tradition but at some point in Shadow Company, without Graves knowing a thing, someone decided to start throwing post-mission parties. Most Shadows referred to them simply as “after parties” and whenever an outsider asked the explanation was always that it was simply a glorified way of saying a group was going to rest and veg out together. 

These parties were exclusive. At first they were small, just a small group of Shadows who started it, then they became huge. Half of a barracks hall used to party late at night when everyone was sure the commander was asleep like kids using the house while their parents are away. Anyone who wanted to attend needed an inside connection to be invited specifically or taken in as a plus one. 

Hence why this particular recruit didn’t expect to be invited to the after party this time. 

They were newer to the team but most definitely had proven themselves as a useful asset. A few good friends had been made and they’d established a nice circle to sit with in the mess hall during breakfast. But none of those friends struck them as the type to go to these parties. Not when they’d heard that recently they’d been getting progressively more wild. More booze, louder music, a little bit of drugs, etc.. 

Of course the question of whether they’d accept or not was a big one. Saying yes was dragging them into something likely bigger than they even knew, but declining would most likely prevent them from ever going in the future. It took a lot of consideration but they simply chose to go but avoid any of the heavy partying. It would set their reputation well but hopefully prevent anyone from offering them drugs thinking they were into that sort of thing. 

That night they made their way to the barracks hall the party was held in. Always the one furthest from Grave’s own quarters. From the entrance they could see the party down the hall. A few people kept the doors of their rooms open to let Shadows in and out and it seemed there was already a line for the bathroom. The recruit was stopped by a taller Shadow who asked for proof of invite. In response they took out the little piece of paper their friend had scribbled on, signing that they were the one who invited the newbie. The bouncer Shadow nodded and handed the slip back to the shorter, “Enjoy.” 

They scuttled along further down the hall. Upon closer inspection it seemed there was a designated room for smoking what smelled like weed, another room for snacks and drinks, and everything else was free range to hang out. Without missing a beat the recruit went into the snack room. Getting food was a good way to start a conversation, right? Bond over similar tastes and snack combos seemed like a normal conversation topic. The room was simply decorated with a couple of black lights, a singular strobe, a speaker, and a few tables with snacks and drinks laid out on them. However, what caught the Shadow’s eye through the throng of buzzing coworkers was the table with a large closed-topped pitcher labeled “Southern Style Tea”. Ignoring all the other drink options they raced towards the table, grabbed a red solo cup, and filled it. 

Just before taking the first sip they noticed two tiny plates next to the large cooling vat. One was labeled “Sugar cubes” in simple messy black sharpie while the other was labeled the exact same thing except in fancier pink cursive marker. The recruit chuckled and grabbed a couple sugar cubes under the pink label and tossed them into their drink. It was a party, of course they had to pick the more whimsical option. After stirring their drink a bit the recruit took a few sips and shuffled off to the side so they could observe from the wall. Hopefully some easy opportunity to interact would come along and they would be able to hop in on a conversation. 

After ten minutes that opportunity still hadn’t come. They stood there sipping their tea and even got a refill with more sugar cubes. It was likely the music but slowly their head grew fuzzy and every now and then they swore they saw something moving from the corner of their eye. Just as they went to grab a sugar cube for their third cup of tea, their Shadow friend came by, standing just a couple feet away. “Well hey there!” he greeted with a sickeningly intoxicated laugh. His eyes lazily drifted to see the sugar cubes. “Oh wow I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.”

The recruit raised a brow in confusion, “Well it’s just sugar, yeah? Not like I haven’t shown off my sweet tooth before.”

Their friend shook his head, “No, that’s not sugar.” The Shadow moved to stand directly next to them and pointed at the sugar cubes with black sharpie. “That’s sugar,” he pointed at the pink labeled ones, “and that’s sugar cubes soaked in LSD.”

“LSD…?” the other mumbled, staring in horror as they processed it all. The senior Shadow laughed loudly.

“Oh boy! How much did you have? You’re way in for it,” he slurred through his amusement. With a sigh he put a hand on the other’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine I’m sure. Just uh… don’t get caught.” 

He nodded, popped a raw sugar cube into his mouth, and walked away with drink in hand. The stunned recruit stood there staring between the cup in their hand and the sugar cubes in the little dish. How many had they had? Six, maybe even seven. They left their cup on the table and shakily began trying to exit the room. It seemed whatever they did was in slow motion and just about everything around them was going too fast to see anything other than the motion blur. No one they shoved past seemed to care or notice, simply stumbling to the side while too busy with their conversation or dancing. The music bumped so loud that the bass sent vibrations through their very core and the lights seemed to flash in their eyes even when they weren’t looking at them. Like a kaleidoscope, shapes and color swirled around the border of their vision, obscuring the things in their peripheral vision and distracting them as they ambled out into the hall. The music seemed to echo there and the noise felt like it was going to burst their ears open. People passed by, not paying any mind, and the recruit wandered around. They didn’t realize but their mouth hung open a little and in the midst of everything they were going much slower than they felt they were. Things blurred further and everything seemed to swirl around in their vision. The buzz of everyone yelling over the music was merely a monotonous hum that settled itself into the back of their mind. 

It took some time for them to find it but eventually they came across a room where everyone seemed to be smoking weed. There were a couple groups of people passing different forms of the substance around who didn’t seem to want to be as loud as everyone else outside the room. The Shadow saw this as a perfect place to settle and enjoy the sudden euphoria budding in their chest. 

They stumbled over to a bean bag chair in the corner and let their weight crash down into the squishy cushion. Sprawled out across the big bean bag they stared up at the ceiling, watching the little shapes and colors drift by and feeling the bass of the party music rumble underneath them. It felt like merely a minute but it must have been an hour when they finally looked up to see half the people from the rotations gone and the other either sleeping or mumbling amongst each other. The party outside was still raging but strangely the sudden change in the room disturbed the Shadow more than they were prepared for. Something about it didn’t quite click to them as their eyes slowly dragged across the room to see if perhaps everyone was only hiding. 

No one was there. No one was hidden under the blankets or in the corners of the room.

Unless they were. Unless this was some ploy to trick them and possibly humiliate them. 

While the shapes and colors still blotted their vision they pulled their knees to their chest and looked around the room a little more panicked than before. Their arms held their knees close as their breathing quickened. Everything appeared to close in on them. The walls leaned in and the people in the room slowly grew bigger as if trying to intimidate the poor Shadow rocking gently back and forth in the corner. The others in the room didn’t seem to notice, though, as they all talked amongst one another and even lit up a new joint to share. The pungent smell immediately slammed the Shadow in the corner like a truck. It infiltrated their nasal cavity and made them more nauseous than ever before. Their hand covered their mouth and they did their best to not look at the group in case the mere sight of the source would trigger their gag reflex. The music from outside was shaking too hard and the words felt much too loud in their inner ears like some kind of pressurizing system. It all bumped and shook and sent relentless shivers up the Shadow’s spine.

The Shadow could not see as the group’s attention turned to the door. A couple of them stood and went to the doorway, peeking out into the hall, and the recruit finally noticed. The group’s joint had been forgotten as they all gathered by the door. What felt like only a second later they were all scrambling around the room, shoving previous smokes into plastic bags to hide the smell and spraying an ungodly amount of air freshening spray to drown it out. Of course the beachy scent only gave the recruit in the corner an intense ache in the base of their neck. 

One of the stoners approached the Shadow, standing over them and saying something that sounded distorted to the point the recruit couldn’t understand. They stared, mouth open and pupils blown wide. The stoner’s words didn’t even penetrate their mind. Their heart rate went wild and the ache in their neck spread up to their temples and behind their ears. All that their mind could think of was how big this person was, standing over them and raising their voice about something. The idea that someone was upset because of them suddenly caused anxiety to prickle up into their shoulders and back. Thoughts raced through their head on double time trying to figure out what they did wrong as a frown crossed their face. 

Quickly the thoughts felt all-consuming. It was like every noise in the room was nothing compared to the thrum of their own heart in their ears and foreign voices like cursed whispers filled their head in an agonizingly loud cacophony. As their hands went up to cover their ears the stoner standing above them huffed in annoyance and stomped off. The Shadow on the floor rocked back and forth, glancing around as if they could find the source of all the noise. It wasn’t the group of people still panicking as they picked up the room, was it? When they spoke to one another was it about the Shadow in the corner? Did they look pitiful or were they, arguably even worse, some kind of nuisance? 

Though the swirling colors and the loud voices persisted, everything else stopped as a figure stood in the doorway. Behind him Shadows were in the hall panicking as they rushed around. 

It was Commander Graves. 

His brows pinched together and his fists clenched at his sides as he stood there. The group in the room stood stock still as they stared. Each of them was thinking the same thing. They all knew what Graves standing there meant. 

It was all over. 

No more after parties.

Some of them would likely get terminated.

Graves’s eyes scanned the room like he was assessing a room during a mission. The stoner didn’t dare make eye contact with him; their own gazes glued to the floor instead. It didn’t take long for Graves to see the Shadow huddled in the corner. They simply stared at him, brows pressed together and lips curled down in a pouty frown. The commander looked to the stoners and pointed to the high Shadow as he spoke. They couldn’t tell what he was saying, or what the stoners said in response, but Graves seemed immediately concerned as he looked at the Shadow again. The man didn’t bother even looking at the other Shadows as he barked some order. They all quickly nodded and exited the room, their collective “yup yup!” sounding loud and distorted in the high Shadow’s head. 

Once the others were gone he cautiously stepped towards the other Shadow. They stared up at him like he was some enigma. Or perhaps like he wasn’t real. 

“Hey now, y’hear me?” Graves asked quietly. He wasn’t one for drugs and had only chewed tobacco as a kid but he’d dealt with drugged up people before and knew a few things about helping. 

The Shadow merely tilted their head to the side in response, mouth not opening. Graves sighed and crouched down in front of them in an attempt to appear small. 

“Y’understand me?” He asked again. Once again the only response was the thousand yard stare and Graves’s shoulders sagged a little. He waddled forward a little, “C’mere, ‘m gonna help ya.”

Of course the warning was nothing when the Shadow was barely understanding anything happening around them nevertheless comprehending what was real or fake. Graves hesitated only a moment, worried that perhaps he was overstepping his authority and responsibility, before reaching to grab them. Their reaction was delayed and by the time they mumbled an incoherent babble of confusion Graves was already carrying them in his arms; their chin on his shoulder and their legs wrapped around his waist. His steady hands were gentle as they held the Shadow with a hand on their back and an arm under their rear. He was careful of their knees as he exited the room, awkwardly waddling sideways as to avoid a hit altogether. 

Once out in the hall he looked around, barked a few orders the Shadow in his arms couldn’t quite grasp, and began heading out of the hall. The Shadow could see their coworkers picking things up and cleaning the ruined floor. The lights were on, the strobes were off, the tables and speakers were being put away. A few Shadows stared after Graves and others were helping corral drunk and high Shadows alike into their rooms. 

It all disappeared as Graves rounded the corner and made his way into the dark hallways. The Shadow in his arms closed their eyes but the colors in their vision remained and the darkness gave them a strange feeling like everything was gone or perhaps not be there when their eyes opened again. Just as they’d started trying to reel their mind in, Graves interrupted their thoughts, “‘M gonna take care of ya, alright?”

The Shadow simply mumbled something quiet that resembled “yup yup” moments later. Graves couldn’t help but chuckle at the response. It was endearing for a reason he couldn’t quite pin. Something about one of his lethal little Shadows being subdued was simply too foreign to not catch his attention. Of course the reason was incredibly displeasing and all Graves could hope for was that they were going to end up alright in the end. 

The commander struggled with the knob to his personal barracks for just a moment before clicking the door open, shuffling inside, and then pulling the door closed behind him. His barracks were only slightly bigger than that of the Shadows. He designed the place but he sure wasn’t selfish with the power. Each room had its own shared bathroom with another and Graves simply had his own bathroom. Which, to be fair, was in fact quite grand. A large tub, a separate shower, and plenty of counter space. The entire room was decorated fairly scarcely with the only hint of Grave’s less military side being the hats and boots hidden away in his closet. Everything was some shade of grey or black, the entire room feeling like a pit of monotonous darkness besides the singular warm beside lamp clicked on from when he had woken up. 

He stared around at his room, supposedly thinking, before taking a deep breath and heading for his bathroom. Graves was careful as he sat the Shadow on the bathroom counter, standing in front of them to keep them in place with his hands resting on the counter on each side. They stared at him with that thousand yard stare look but strangely their blown out pupils made it almost look like they were enamored by Graves. The idea tickled him and the corner of his mouth quirked up just a little as he shook his head lightly. “You poor lil thing…” he sighed.

Graves observed the Shadow as their eyes lazily wandered the room. The movement was rhythmic like they were stuck in a cycle of staring at the tub behind Graves, then the carpet, then the shampoo bottles in the shower, then repeating once again. The commander frowned as he gently touched the back of his hand to their forehead to get a feel for their temperature. Of course they felt like they were overheating like some overrun generator. That wasn’t to mention the thin layer of sweat that had accumulated on their entire body, clinging to them grossly and emanating a smell like a weird mix of wet dog and sweaty child. Graves set his hand gently on their cheek, trying to get them to look at him. It took several seconds for their eyes to mosey on to meet his own. 

“Hey, can y’ talk to me?” he asked softly. There was no telling what they took or how much. From the symptoms it seemed like some kind of depressant and by the way they seemed barely aware of their surroundings they took quite a bit of it. 

The Shadow hummed so quiet it was nearly inaudible, “Yup yup…” Graves sighed with a hint of relief. At least they were somewhat still there. Considering the ‘yup yup’ they could probably recognize him. 

“Yer in a tough spot, soldier,” Graves explained. His thumbs gently rubbed their cheek bone back and forth before he noticed the unconscious movement moments later and moved his hand to the counter. “I’m gonna help you out, alright? That okay with you?”

Silent moments passed but Graves remained patient as he waited for an answer. Even as their lips parted but nothing came out he still stood there, head slightly tilted to the side, waiting for a response. The Shadow’s eyes caught the bright bathroom light and they groaned as they shoved their face down into Grave’s shoulder to hide from it, and slurred, “Yessir… yup yup…” 

Graves let out a little huff from his nose as his arms wrapped around them protectively. “I gotcha soldier.” His chin settled onto their shoulder and he mumbled quietly so as to not hurt their head, “‘M gonna take care of ya.”

He reluctantly let them go, pausing to be sure that they could sit up on their own, before heading for the large tub and beginning to run the water and dumping in some body wash just for the suds that would arise. He kept his hand under the tap just to be sure it wasn’t too hot or cold then shook it dry as he walked back over to the Shadow. “Gonna clean y’ up so you can get some good rest, alright?���

The Shadow, seeming to have come to their senses just a little, grumbled in acknowledgement. Graves nodded, more to himself than to the Shadow, and set his hands on their hips. He paused as his face heated up from the thought of what he was doing. Graves immediately slapped himself though, trying to steel his mind against it all. This wasn’t for his personal enjoyment. This was to take care of them. He took a deep breath and kept his eyes up on the ceiling as he assisted the Shadow with removing their clothes. Once he had their things folded and set to the side to be washed later he helped them down from the counter and held them up as they walked to the bath. Initially the Shadow grumbled, not wanting to leave their spot on the counter since the cold marble had finally grown warm, but as they felt the steam arising from the bath they quickly stopped protesting and slipped inside eagerly, head and shoulders just above the water.

Once sure the Shadow was settled Graves made quick work of changing into some random shorts in his closet so he wouldn’t get his pants wet. He sat on the edge of the rub, put his legs in the water on either side of the recruit, and let their head rest on his thighs. The Shadow seemed content simply sitting there soaking with a little smile on their face. Graves had a smile of his own as he reached down and cupped some water in his hands to pour over their head. He was careful to put a hand on their brow to prevent water in their eyes. Then he went for his bottle of shampoo and began to lather it in his hands. 

The Shadow leaned into his touch as he carefully scrubbed their scalp then proceeded to rinse the product out. His fingers on their scalp seemed to scratch some itch deep in their brain. Fresh-cut nails digging in to really get at the roots for a wash that felt borderline purifying. Graves carded through every section and got each and every little knot and tangle out. The room spelled like green apple as he continued on, the shampoo’s scent filling just about every cavity in the Shadow’s senses. Afterwards Graves gently scrubbed their body down, once again looking anywhere he could that wasn’t their body. His eyes kept away, instead taking great note of the grout between the floor tiles or the way the paint was textured on the ceiling. Anything to try and give the Shadow some semblance of privacy as he helped them. Oddly enough Graves didn’t struggle to navigate them despite not being able to see where his hands were. He pretended in his head that it was because it was simply his understanding of anatomy. Knowing where to strike a foe meant you had to know where everything else was as well. The commander knew, though, in the back of his head, that it was because he’d see this Shadow before. He’d found himself enraptured by their performance and physique. Their uniform always left much to the imagination but walking around base, with mere training gear on, he’d seen more of them and loved every bit. Graves had dreams of seeing this body, kissing every inch in pure reverence, and running his hands through their hair sweetly, just to make them feel loved.

The thought turned a little sour as Graves remembered why exactly he was here touching and seeing them. This was not quite the sweet union he’d imagined in his head. 

Graves heaved a heavy sigh as he shook his head. The Shadow below him was smiling wide with their head resting back onto his lap. Their eyes wandered around the ceiling and occasionally his face but had no true path. The nearly pitiful sight made all of Grave’s annoyance wash away as he cupped their cheek and smiled softly down at them. 

“Gonna get out now, alright? Get all warm n’ head to bed,” he whispered quietly down to them. They finally fixed their eyes on his and nodded with a mumble of approval. 

At that Graves carefully stood himself up and with one foot in the tub and another he assisted the Shadow out of the water. They shivered and grumbled uncomfortably as the cool air hit their wet skin, but Graves was quick to grab a towel and wrap them up. He held them close as they snuggled into the fabric and in turn pressed their face to his chest. Even as water dripped from their hair and soaked his shirt he didn’t protest. When they were dry except for their still dripping hair Graves sat them down on the counter, excusing himself for just a moment, before heading for his closet to grab something comfortable for both of them to sleep in. He emerged from his walk-in closet moments later with a simple hoodie and shorts with a drawstring for the Shadow and some sweats and a tee for himself. Graves was sure the clothes would probably be too big for the Shadow but he didn’t mind the idea of them cuddled up in the too-big clothes contentedly sleeping. A pang went through his chest at the thought so sweet and he went a little faster as he helped them dry their hair and the rest of their body before awkwardly assisting them in getting the fresh clothes on then getting changed himself.

Though the process took a while, when it was finally complete Graves was more than happy with the result he saw before him. His cute little Shadow sitting on the counter with their legs on either side of his waist. The commander’s hoodie was most definitely oversized for them but they seemed to enjoy it, flapping the extra length of the sleeves around like a child looking for mental stimulation. Graves chuckled and couldn’t bother holding down his smile, “Y’ sure don’t seem tired, now do ya? Still gotta rest, sug- soldier.”

Just like before the Shadow grumbled and nodded, “Yup yup..” 

“C’mon then, careful now,” Graves coaxed as he backed away to let them get down from the counter. With shaky legs like a newborn deer they stepped down. Graves took their hand and carefully guided them from the bathroom to the main room of his dorm. He turned the bathroom light off behind him as he went along.

“Yer doin’ great. Just a lil’ further now,” he praised in a low hum. The moment they reached his bed the Shadow practically collapsed down into the sheets. Graves panicked for a moment before seeing them wiggle their way into the blankets and tuck their face into the pillow. He was about to slip in alongside them when he paused. Hypothetically, waking up to your commander cuddled up next to you would be quite disturbing. Especially if you had, hypothetically, not remembered anything of the night prior. Instead of getting in bed with them Graves leaned down to tuck them in and, indulgently, leave a little peck to their forehead, before rummaging around under his bed until he found some extra blankets and pillows. He set himself up a pallet on the floor next to the bed. 

Just in case they were unable to sleep Graves stayed up for about an hour more. He was sitting up next to the edge of the mattress with his head propped up on his palm. His blue eyes searched their content face the entire time, taking note of every little twitch of their brow or slight movement in their lips. Anything that might mean they were stirring awake made his shoulders tense in anticipation, ready to jump in and help them settle back to sleep. 

They never once stirred but did once mumble something Graves could not make out. He eventually passed out in his silent vigil, but seeing their face as he closed his eyes was all he needed to sleep soundly through just like his Shadow did. 

[astoopidfool]

👨‍👨‍👦 is really speaking to me!

Thank you so much for the ask. It means so much to me to get these, you don't even know.

I'm not very far into this story yet so it's still kind of the nitty-gritty "in the beginning" type stuff, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. I'm sorry I can't write more today, I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow and got way sidetracked doing other things to prepare.

------

Months and months pass. They spend endless hours talking with Hen and Karen about the process; Karen was so patient explaining the ins and outs of the ordeals, and Hen gave so many details about what agency they used and the different options they had.

Evan spent hour after hour after hour online, researching. He discussed each option endlessly with Tommy, and even though Tommy thought Evan was overthinking it, he listened with rapt attention because… Well.. He wanted this to be perfect for them. For his husband. When they eventually settle on an agency, they get to work finding a birth mother.

They discussed whether they preferred a boy or a girl, but decided it didn’t matter. Evan wanted a baby, though, and Tommy would have rather had a toddler to start with. After talking it over, with plenty of reassurances from Evan, they decide to go the infant route. The giddiness sets in.

A few weeks into the process, their agent mentions a home visit. “Evan and Tommy, I’m so glad that you’ve decided on adoption. There’s so many kids out there that deserve loving homes and you two seem like an amazing opportunity.”

Evan smiles so broadly at the phone that his cheeks look like they’re about to split. Tommy takes one of his hands and brings it to his mouth kissing his knuckles before settling it back on the table. “We’re so excited, Emira. This… I… We’ve been waiting a long time.”

There’s softness in her voice when she replies, “Yes, I can imagine. I know you two have already started searching out potential mothers, but before we get too far, we need to discuss a home inspection.”

“Home inspection?” Tommy asks, raising his brows. He knew that was something that happened, but he thought that was only for those who planned to strictly foster. “Why do we need one of those?”

She laughs brightly. “No need to sound so alarmed, Mr. Buckley-Kinard. We’re not there to white glove your home and inspect every single nook and cranny of your space. No. What we’re there for is to ensure that you two have the proper environment for raising children. Obviously we’ll do a walk through of the home, but there’s no need to do any extra cleaning before we come - we want to see what the child’s environment will be like day to day - and then we’ll sit down and have a conversation about the two of you; mostly what you do for work, what your relationship health is like, do you have a support system, and things of that nature. The day of the in-home visit, you’ll need to block off a minimum of two hours, though depending on the size of your home, it may take significantly longer. I, personally, would suggest taking the day off since the home visit can’t be split into separate days. You’ll also need copies of some personal data, such as your birth certificates, but we can discuss that close to the day of the event. Does that all make sense?” She pauses, a bit breathless but still cheerful.

Evan huffs an overwhelmed laugh. “Wow, um… That’s a lot.” Tommy rubs his back. “So we can’t pick a mom until after these visits? How many do we have to go through?” The conversation continues as Tommy continues to be a reassuring presence at Evan’s side. A few more months pass, and Tommy can tell that his husband is losing steam. He wants a child so badly, but there’s so many hoops to jump through. They survived the home visit, though they were questioned extensively about their jobs. Both of them being in high risk professions put up red flags for the interviewer, but once Tommy explained that he mostly flew air transports, she seemed to be assuaged and passed them. Flying colors they were not, but at least they weren’t blocked before they even truly began.

[sturniolo04]

in which maddison gets her first period (single! dad chris) and he has no idea what to do but matt has a girlfriend and she guides maddison on what to do!! ❤️❤️

A/n:  ofc! I put a little spin on it! I absolutely love these requests I have coming in, you guys are amazing!! I hope you love it! And remember to leave requests in my inbox! If you don’t like the pre added name in my works you can simply put in your own or don’t read it, it up to you :)-Charli

dividers: @issysh3ll

Chris knew having a daughter meant having to deal with the ever changing moods and phases that a normal teenage girl would have to deal with and go through. Today though was one of those days, one of those pivotal moments in a growing females journey. Her Period.

Madison had been moody all day with not only matt and Nick but also Chris. it seemed like almost every little thing made her emotional or angry for that matter. For example, earlier that morning she started crying because they didn't have any milk for her cereal this morning.

"hey lovebug whats been going on with you today you seem all over the place"

chris asks his daughter coming into her room to see her fully bundled up in not only her blankets but also sweatpants and corresponding hoodie.

"i know im sorry its just i started my period and its been really bad"

madison confesses to him as Chris slowly nods towards her confession. Chris had no idea what to even say in this moment let only know what do because he wasn't a girl.

"im sorry sweetie is there anything you need I guess"

chris asks her complete unsusre if that was even a question he should be asking you would think he would already know what she needs and not have to ask about it. Madison simply shakes her head 'no' laying back down on her bed scrolling on her phone.

"Hey are you busy right now"

chris asks matts girlfriend, Savannah. Chris knew he needed someone to help him with what in the world to do when it came to periods.

"hey no whats up you look stressed out"

she chuckles acknowledging his expression that was painted on his face.

"i mean kind of so madison started her period today and I have no clue what to do, what she needs or anything, I mean I dont even know how to explain that stuff because well"

chris huffs out trailing off in his ramble.

"because your not a girl i get it I will go to the store real quick and then get a couple things she needs and explain stuff to her and I dont know maybe you can get her some chocolate because that always helps"

savannah offers as chris lets out a quick exhale of relief agreeing to the deal thanking her ahead of time.

"Knock knock"

Savannah greets enetering into madison room.

"Hi sav"

madison softly greets sitting up in her bed.

"how its going champ"

savannah chuckles sitting on the bed with Madison. Madison shrugs not really not what to say about how she feels at the point.

"well your dad told me that you had a rough day today because of a new found friend called mother nature"

savannah giggles out a madison lets out a quick sigh and nod of her head.

"yeah and its not been fun"

madison huffs out.

"well i have some goodies for you"

savannah trails off grabbing the target bags from the floor setting them on the bed with them so she could go through them. Savannah fished out the first couple of items in there being tampons and pads.

"so i got both of these because you can take you pick on which one you feel most comfortable using but this is really to catch the blood so you dont stain your pants or anything"

savannah softly explains as madison nods her head.

"but what if i do bleed through because I didn't know when my period was going to start"

madison asks curiously not wanting to ever bleed through anything because that would be insanely embarrassing.

"you can download an app an it will help you keep track so you can have somewhat of an idea of when it might appear because trust me bleeding through is not fun"

savannah chuckles out. Savannah set the tampons and pads down to the side fishing out the heating pad. Madison quirked an eyebrow up in confusion.

"what is that supposed to do"

madison asks.

" for the cramps in case they get bad apply heat to it helps a lot"

savannah states. Madison's eyes light up knowing that would definitely be her best friend in the future.

"and then last but not least"

she trails off pulling out a bottle of aspirin as madiosn slightly giggles knowing what that does for her in general.

"for the cramps"

madison states.

"for the cramps"

savannah reiterates.

"thanks Savannah"

madison states reaching over to hug her.

"of course anytime youre like my little sister mads so you can talk to me about anything especially if you cant talk to your dad"

Savannah chuckles as her bedroom door opens.

"hey i bought you some chocalte and really candy you like"

chris states shyly as he sets down two full bags of what looked like candy.

"jesus chris did you buy up the whole aisle"

savannah gasps out looking into the bags.

"sorry i panicked i didnt really know what do get"

chris states in his defense as savannah laughs at him.

"thanks dad"

madison chuckles out truly grateful for him.

Tagslist🗂️

@mintsturniolo @spicymuffins03 @dirtylittleheart333

@stayingstromboli @wh0resstuff @ksturnz @chaoswithus @emely9274 @ivysturnss @sturniolo-szn2 @lezleeferguson-120 @courta13 @chrepsi @lyingonchris

@tezzzzzzzz @babytomatoes21 @sturniolosymphony @zenithsturniolo @bernardsbendystraws

[lichtgrau]

The truth about Gin ( Arata )

“The Truth about Muse” And my muse will express how they feel about yours without holding back or sugarcoating

"Sometimes, my heart hurts a little because I feel, even though I tell him often and show it in any way I can, Gin still doubts what we have. However, I am also realistic. There are things he hasn't been ready to share with me yet that explain why he has a hard time believing that somebody can love him in that way and happily share their life with him. So, when it hurts, I remind myself of it, and then I will try harder to do better, so it is a way that does not make him doubt this to be real anymore. I do not say he does not believe me. It is more like for Gin to accept he deserves all the love, without having to do something for it other than be himself."

Arata was not sure how to describe it well without going too complicated. How ironic that his thoughts were as much of a whirlwind as they were very structured, like the scientist he was.

"NOW! Hold on, hold on, that was the sad part! You said to be honest so now you also have to listen to me say the other stuff, OK? So, Gin, I want to see those little hidden sides because I can see it in your eyes. His eyes, sorry, I am wandering. Like you can see that flash of curiosity, but then the other flash is all blush and soft mumbles, which are so cute and make me so excited because I want to know what is on his mind. I want to hear his thoughts and wishes and ideas, even if it is something as silly as imagining we go and do laundry together.

I love him for all of the things. We knew each other not super long but a little, so I know Gin keeps his thoughts to himself. I love him, so I want to hear all about it. I am already very lucky though. It is nice to have somebody not wait for you to come but who comes to see me, often without saying something. To know somebody cares for you so much, it is not a given, I learned. I feel safe with him and comfortable and oddly warm," he rubbed over his cheeks, taking on a red color.

"He is also incredibly attractive and his job is very cool and mysterious and he is passionate and can do a lot of things. Oh my god, is that a flying weasel over there!"

Time to sneak away.

[otiksimr]

My daily question. (s) (Questions) (Sorry I couldn't help myself)

Feel free to put this off or ignore it or whatever else I've been asking a lot of questions-

Do the space creatures (World Eaters, Abyss Children, all of them) have their own language(s)? I believe there's a Bob sketch that has [humpback whale cry] in the corner, so do World Eaters sound like Whales?

If they do, (have languages, I mean) how complex/simple are their languages? Is it like animals, where they just have general sounds that mean stuff like "need food", "come here", "I'm scared", and such, or would it be as complex as human languages?

If they don't, how do they communicate? Or would it be like, since they're so few and far between, they don't need to?

Since the Abyss Children are 'gods', would their language, if they have one, be more complex than World Eater language, (if they have one) and human languages?

Speaking of, how intelligent are the Abyss Children? I've asked about the World Eaters, but are the Abyss Children more "God via being nigh all-powerful" or "God via being nigh omniscient" (by omniscient I just meant incredibly intelligent, not purely all-knowing, though would they be-)

The names! "Ebrietas" "Xerxees" and their son, "Bob". Where did they get their names? Whether behind the scenes or in-universe,

If they do have their own languages; the Abyss Children and the World Eaters and such, would they be difficult/impossible for humans to imitate? Do the Abyss Children even know/care about humans, or are humans too small and insignificant in the grand plot of the universe for them to even notice?

Man this is a lot of ifs.

Oh oh oh oh oh- also, also also also!

I saw a c h a r t. On the "Children of The Abyss." It mentioned something above them(/maybe that created them?) called "Primordials." I am very very very curious about that as well.

Honestly I'm curious about all of this. Everything. Is there something to call this world or just, like, Otiksimr-verse? Otiksimr-oc-verse? just Otiksimrs OCs? OTIKSIMR LORE.

I know I said one question a day but like- technically this is one question, right? If it's all in one ask? (I'm sorry.)

I wouldn’t call it a language. Like, you know how animals can communicate via noises, scent and overall body language? It’s like that. World Eaters sound like whales yes, I describe Bob to sound specifically as a humpback whale mainly because he’s young, and humpback are pretty high pitched. Which would fit his age. Adults would be like deeper blue whales. Blue whales are already low frequency, imagine it being even lower frequency than that.

World Eaters rarely meet eachother yes, so they rarely communicate. To them whenever they do meet eachother it’s more like just a nod of acknowledgement than anything. Maybe a little rumble and they’re off on their separate ways. Usually though, they just make a lot of noise just to give smaller (which is basically all space animals) creatures a chance to get out of they way before they run into them. Like a warning, basically.

In World Eater language it would just be a series of clicks and rumbles, not a true name. So, what’s there is the closest ‘translation’ there is for whatever that is. Bob named himself. He was nameless up to that point, he heard a human say it and he repeated it for himself. Boom. Bob is now named.

Yes it would be impossible for humans to imitate World Eater language. It’s just too low frequency to be picked up by anything we currently have.

Abyss Children/Children of the Abyss/Gods (all of those describe the same thing) are. Weird. They don’t have a language. I think it would be better if I just gave a simple run down on their lore here.

They are beings born from bits of abyss that gained a conscious and split of from the greater body (Primordial Cosmos/Abyss/Void <- mean the same thing.). Most don’t make it out of this stage and get reabsorbed back into the Abyss. Their true form is just mist, a moving piece of void that just gets larger over time. The grand majority of them stay like this, the ones that I give designs are the ones that meet other species. The void is vast and ever expanding, the ones who meet others are considered the ‘lucky ones.’ From there they learn the language of whatever species they end up latching onto, and they usually take on the form of the species they get attached to as well, like a very attached fan. That make sense?

Now. Back to the ‘bit of abyss that split from the larger body’. Some of them get ‘pulled out’ by a third party. Yes that is possible, it’s what happened to Rahuul, Yhtraah, Zyanth, and Xercxes. The difference between ones that are helped and ones that aren’t? Ones that are helped are weaker but have a more stable mimicry/form, because they latch onto whatever helped them and therefore have better language too. Ones that arent (Haruna and Yoru) are rougher in their mimicry and language, but they are stronger than ones that are helped. 

That being said. No matter how they came into being they all have the same want for that kind of connection with a ‘parental’ figure.

Abyss Children are extremely intelligent. But they are ignorant. Which kind of balances the intelligence out? They’re stupid but they’re not stupid, lmao. They don’t understand morality, they have no morals. They don’t know/care about right or wrong, they know want but not need. Things that make something ‘alive’ they do not understand but they definitely want it. 

I don’t like calling them ‘gods’ but it’s just easier to say than ‘The closest thing to god’. They’re immortal and all powerful but they are so. So. Stupid. Emotionally.

I think Abyss Children would have an. Inane. Fascination with humans. With how I build they’re lore they have a near extreme desire for familial bonds. I mean, I have ‘children’ in the species name for a reason, you know? So creatures that have a familial structure they are immensely interested in. Which humans, which have such a wide range of kinds of families and ideas of ‘what a family is’ they would be extremely interested in.

Also ‘plot of the universe’ is a foreign concept for them. I just want to set in the point that they aren’t gods in the traditional sense. No omnipotence here. Lol. They are worshiped though, I guess? I mean. If you saw a giant amalgamation of animals suddenly grow your dead crops in the middle of winter, you’d start worshiping that shit too. Lmao.

Alright. Primordials. They’re the foundation of the universe. In a basic sense. The Cosmos, Time (Epoch), Reality, and Creation. There are only four of them. That being said, they are also their opposite concept. Cosmos is also Nothingness (The Cosmos is everything, the opposite of everything is nothing). You following me so far? Time is suanimous with Stagnation (Time is evermoving, backwards or forwards, so the opposite it for it to stay stagnant, stopping). Reality and illusions (obvious), Creation and ruin (also obvious).

They’re two sets of twins. Lol. (Cosmos + Time), (Reality + Creation). I usually have them as the… ‘most insane’ out of all my characters. It was just the four of them for practically all of eternity. In their time scale, life has only just started popping up. So they’re being raving over that ever since it happened.

Also I’ve already said this but the Abyss Children came from the body of Cosmos specifically.

Uh. I’ve just. Been calling it lore. I don’t have an overarching story or anything. Just a bunch of smaller stories that are all apart of the same lore branch.

And. Thank you, for the questions. It is a joy. Hehe.

[ajaxless]

Ask/other

Honestly, you're lucky he even filed out the marriage paperwork to begin with. I understand a huge part of Nokka's character is being a possessive husband, but I think the dragon verson of him wouldn't care for other humans or their culture very much- and by extension- not giving a shit about human courtship.

I don't see him calling you his wife, i think he'd prefer the term "mate". I think you'd have to talk this version of him into having an actual wedding. He's a stubborn little bastard and getting him to do normal human stuff is like pulling teeth. Wdym he has to get on one knee and propose with a ring? Baby, he's already given you like thirty. You're already bound for life, the fuck do you mean it doesn't count because he never officially asked?

The only reason he agreed is because of the promise of a honeymoon and the idea of being able to flaunt his new mate as *his* in front of all your friends and family members.

So when you get all pissy with him and start nagging him about divorce, your lawyer, and signing paperwork, he doesn't take it seriously. It's just you having a tantrum as per usual. Doesn't occur to him what's going on because he doesn't know what a divorce is. You stomp off to the bedroom, and he shrugs it off and naps in a deeper part of the cave until you cool off and give him an apology blowjob like usual. When he wakes up and notices you're gone, he'll finally read the divorce papers and catch onto what's happening. He'll hunt you down pretty quickly and drag your sorry ass back home, ranting that he knew playing along with your human customs was silly. Dragons mate for life, toots, you don't get to back out just 'cus you feel like it. Shame on him for letting those other humans put silly thoughts in your head that it was even possible for you to leave.

I think he'd hold the divorce papers right in your face and breathe fire to burn them. Then threats to roast your divorce lawyer the same way if you don't tell em to fuck off. If you guys aren't married anymore, he'll just have to marry you again, yeah?

Yknow what? New marriage, new town, new cave, and a brand new ring. Something far larger and heavier that doesn't fit around your finger. Oh no, no, no, no, it fits 'round your ankle this time. Big gold chain keeping you locked inside the cave. The best part of getting married a second time is the second honeymoon. Good luck running once he gets you swollen full of his brats.

Let's say.... the reader successfully files for divorce from Nokka. What will his reaction be?

I shall let yall guess out of these options.

[themsource]

Frans, Shipping, and Me

A bit of context before we start.

For those that don’t know: I don’t like shipping myself. 

While a majority of my stuff has been and is for the insert enjoyers, I personally don’t like self shipping. It hits on that same nerve that makes me squeak at RPF (real person fiction), it just crosses a line for me. Because those are people with real feelings, and I can’t bring myself to objectify myself or others just for an imagined storyline or scenario. Even when reading it I don't truly insert myself into it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love and have a major crush on a ton of characters, especially Sans and I can ramble all day about what I would do or say in a relationship with him. But actually putting myself in the situation?

No, I can’t do it.

I managed to get one insert art made that I actually paid for myself and… while it did do things for me on both a good and bad level, and felt amazing to have, I wouldn’t do it again. 

It felt very personal, like I had been cracked opened and exposed on a level I didn’t want others seeing just for their entertainment or just because there were parts of myself that I wanted to keep just for me. 

I had received insert art and writing in the past from very close friends at the time, and while I loved them and they touched me very deeply, there was always a bit of uncomfortableness that came with it. Which is why I only willing accepted insert art with my OC Oreo from people I knew and trusted. But even that was and still is a bit much sometimes, because I’ve had Oreo since I was young, very young, so she’s as close to me as you can get without inserting me directly.

When I write insert, “y/n”, is a character. It makes it easier to write as I have a detachment and can enjoy what happens like watching a tv show or play, I’m just along for the ride with my fingers on the gas pedal. If people connected on a level with “y/n” and were able to see themselves in what I wrote, then that was amazing! That’s what I wanted… to be able to affect people and help them feel or experience things that they couldn’t or wouldn’t want to otherwise in a safe environment: so they could expand their perceptions or thoughts on certain subjects or view a topic in a different light.

My insert writing has always been about helping others explore, and even exploring myself.

I’ve learned so much about myself and how the world works with the stuff I’ve written and drawn, the good, bad, and the ugly. There were things I never dared to try and explore for personal reasons… until I started insert writing, because then it was like bringing a friend along, a friend who couldn’t actually get hurt by going on a journey with me. 

A journey that could help both me as a writer and those as a reader to think and reflect, to learn empathy and grow by maybe learning something about yourself you didn’t like or did like, and embracing yourself as a flawed human being just like each one of us are so you can be at peace and live your best life or even to work on yourself if that’s what you were inspired to do.

My insert writing is about learning, and having fun while doing so.

And this all leads into why I love character shipping more.

Characters aren’t real, no matter how many of us might wish that they were. Characters can be objectified, characters can be harmed or loved without committing a wrong against those that really matter, people. There is also yet another distinctive wall of division between a person and a character than there is an insert that makes me more comfortable.

And characters have a solid personality that can be worked with and challenge you as a writer to make work or have fun experimenting to see how they’d react in a certain scene even if it’s in a way you end up disliking.

They’re more limited but so much more versatile.

So when I fall in love with something I fall in love with the characters not the possibility of what I could do in the world.

Characters are what draw me in.

Well, one day I… discovered some interesting fanart of Sans, featuring him and his “light saber”.

And that sparked a curiosity for context.

When I first played Undertale, I had no interest in shipping “the human” with anyone, in fact I had no interest in shipping at all or what have you. Like I said it was like watching a tv show, just something for entertainment. 

The message of undertale did touch me deeply though so I did go looking at fanart and stuff as I was at a point in my life where grief was all I felt and Undertale had managed to make me feel something else other than that, but I was also more into Moana at the time. It’s honestly difficult for me to get motivated to create fanworks for something, to just create. I never made anything for Moana, and never made anything for Persona, which I was ADDICTED to at the time.

I had tried making fanfic in my youth but yeah… 14-19 year old me was awful.

And then the pacifist ending happened.

The absolute SHOCK I felt at seeing everyone call the human “Frisk” rather than what I had named them and learning the name we gave was actually Chara’s…. It made me watch replays, made me spend hours looking at everything I could have missed.

And that’s when I started falling for the characters, when I started falling for Sans and then Frisk.

Frisk, this character who had been possessed by “us” in a word, and “us” that was actually another character we just happened to give an identity to in yet another but milder form of possession, all fitted together like Matryoshka dolls. 

Do you realize how tragic that is?

Frisk was a puppet… of a puppet… for US.

My heart was stolen as soon as that realization was made. I have a weakness for broken and damaged characters, characters that have gone through hell or have been hurt in ways that people normally don’t come back from… because I love more than anything seeing them bounce back.

Combine that love and sympathy I found in Frisk, with the humor and comfort I found in Sans…

And there you have it: My love of Frans and why it’s my OTP.

That love has only gotten stronger as the years went by. 

Another truth I have to share, is I started initially doing insert because I didn’t feel confident enough to portray Frisk right, and character shipping and insert shipping have since drastically evolved into two different things for me with different meanings and reasons for why I do them. 

I really gained confidence in my Frans writing once my dear friend Shay introduced me to several broken down and researched articles by nochocolate that showed me exactly what Frisk and Chara’s personalities were like and how they were separated from “the player”.

And I’ve been on a nonstop Frans high ever since, and will be until the day I die. They are my OTP and I will ship them more than any other pairing, even Insert.

I am very much a “ship and let ship” person, and I have and will support people shipping whatever they please, in fact I tend to ship everyone because these characters are just so great you can’t help but find dynamics where they just work no matter the previously established bonds or relationships, and the same goes with good AU derivatives.

But Frisk and Sans were the ones who drew me in and kept me here.

I’ve made jokes and called other ships OTP in a show of support of fellow writers, however frans is it for me. If I was asked what ship’s hill I’d die on in a war, it’s them.

For me, Frans will always come first.

So now we get to what exactly my dynamics are for Frans.

I like portraying Frisk as female, because I am female. I find it easier to write emotions from that perspective than others, and I want people to love Frisk and feel what Frisk is feeling. I have written Frisk as nonbinary and male before, but I feel those pieces weren’t as good as my writing when I had Frisk as female, simply because I’m not actually of those genders. I will take genuine characterization over a subpar attempt at accuracy that undermines the experience the writing is supposed to give you.

I also like writing Sans as strictly male. Can he change his equipment if he pleases? Yes, he’s made of magic after all, but I don’t see him preferring or actively wanting to do that, he’s male and identifies as a man, pure and simple. You’d have to be pretty fucking special for him to honor an equipment swap request.

A bit of a TMI personal note for this too though in why I like this interpretation with Sans the most… is the fact I don’t like vaginas. 

I have one, and all I care about is the fact it can make me feel good. It’s not pretty or “looks like a flower”, it’s a hole that’s a direct opening into the body… gross. And no, before anyone starts, I would not feel better with a penis or think I’m trangender in any capacity. I’m a woman and I feel like a woman one hundred percent, I just don’t like that one part of my anatomy.

So while I’m willing to write about one vagina for smut, I’m not comfortable writing about two and creating the image that… two working together would make. Can I write two vaginas in a smut scene sure… if there’s a penis involved. I could even write lesbian sex if I wanted if there’s a dildo, vibrator, hands, or whatever. Just no vagina on vagina action. It’s my preference and for my comfort. I’ve read plenty of fics that include that but I happily ignore it in favor of the plot and interactions.

Anyways…

For me Sans and Frisk…

They are soulmates, they are always meant for each other. 

No matter the time, place, ages, personalities, or circumstances, they are always supposed to be together. I may write or make pieces where they’re not soulmates, but they still very much are in my head if that makes sense. This is why I love to indulge in any and all content involving them.

Now do they actually end up together? 

That’s a different story. Not all endings are happy ones. But what matters isn’t the ending but the journey. What matters is the time they have together and how they affect one another. What matters is the fact that they met.

Sans could be a complete asshole to Frisk, a deranged psychopath, and Frisk could be as equally messed up with them both going at each other’s throats, or one of them could be a complete sweetheart that suffers in the name of love and hopelessness, or they could even be in a perfect balance where they’re in a healthy relationship filled with compassion and consideration, but in someway, somehow, they will still just work. 

Even if it’s not in the way others would hope for.

I personally can write pure healthy fluff, I have before, but what I really like writing about is them struggling to overcome something. I generally like writing like that in the first place. 

But with Sans and Frisk…

I always write about change.

What I like most is a Sans who struggles with his emotions, whether that be displaying them or feeling them while hiding behind a calm and collected mask. I like it when he’s carrying that mysterious air about him that makes you question what he’s really thinking or if he really understands what’s been told to him. I like him leaving someone in doubt and constantly on the tips of their toes, before making them laugh with a joke.

And I like Frisk being able to crack that mask, to read through his charade.

She changes him by bringing more of him out from behind the curtain, making him more in tune with his SOUL and even his humanity and all the complications that come with it.

If that’s a good thing or not, depends on the situation and context, but yes always this.

For Frisk, I like her shy and innocent. Someone who’s learning the world at the same time that she’s learning herself, and is forever merciful and forgiving towards those that wrong or hurt her sometimes to her own detriment because she’s just that kind hearted and hopeful for that kindness in others. But as much as she forgives, she certainly doesn’t forget. Frisk remembers and counts the scars she carries.

I enjoy when Sans manages to push her into becoming stronger, to not let herself continue to be silently walked on, and to fight back.

That’s the basis for my work with them.

Sometimes, Sans makes her stronger by pushing her to an edge with abuse until she finally reaches a breaking point and fights with all her strength, and in her rebellion Sans slowly begins to see where he’s gone wrong to have changed her so and gradually becomes kinder, more open as he seeks forgiveness.

Other Times, Frisk sees Sans as nothing more than an empty shell just costing by in life with a false grin on his face and slowly starts overcoming her shyness and reluctance in other to try and help a friend facing down depression, and this slow build of strength and show of kindness is enough to cause Sans to start reacting more honestly to jokes or statements, to dare smile for real even though it hurts to do so.

Then there can be times of bloody revenge - where one becomes stronger to take out the other while the opponent seeks to manipulate their perception on what they knew was right or wrong, and both end up more broken than from when they started, but still irrevocably changed in a positive way that was negative between them.  

Times of tragic love not meant to be.

These are just a few scenarios, but with the same theme: change.

And I apply it differently each time depending on the scenario or idea, depending on who is in the wrong or not. The theme can be subtle to the point you have to read between the lines and really think on what’s happening to see it, or it can be really obvious right from the start and is fed to you with every action and word.

Every time I look at Sans and Frisk together no matter who’s portraying them, I see change.

The potential for it.

And that’s what I love most.

So that is how my Frans works, and incidentally, why I love the ship so much. 

I will continue to love that ship til the day I die and I will continue to write for frans no matter what, even if I lose interest in all other ships including insert you can bet I will continue to write about the funny skeleton man and the sweet hearted human.

They’re my ultimate power couple.

And if hearing this at all upsets anyone, more so my insert readers who I’ve heard the majority of backlash from since I first came out about my love for frans… (Seriously the DMs and anon hate was unreal - especially the... material I got sent and had to report at one point) Well, let’s just say that If you can’t handle me in my character shipping moods, then you don’t deserve me in my insert shipping moods, sorry.

Like I’ve said before, I love my readers and friends regardless if you agree or disagree with me, including on the ship or ship(s) I make stuff for, you’re allowed that right as people. And no I still won’t love you any less for your thoughts. Because again that’s how we’re supposed to be as people, mature enough to let bygones be.

I’m just saying, frans is life for me, and explaining why that is and always will be.