#don't chat to me i am DEAD

[azz4me]

*shakes you aggresively again*

QUEEN LISTEN!! This new imagination that I've got has gotten me in CHOKEHOLD I SWEAR-

Goo. I personally think he's someone who shows his different sides according to the person he's around, most people see his maniacal self cause he doesn't deem them as people he could show his un-overexaggerated side to

Now imagine goo, with a whinier and very talkative partner.

My mind is exploding with thoughts

How he would pinch his nose and sigh when you are being demanding. Or try out whine you but oh fuck you are so damn whiny-

How he'd try to pull the move of *kiss to shut you up* but after the make out you immediately go back to talking like, "so I was saying.." And he groans but listens anyways.

How at times he'd look at you and think "is this how everyone perceives me??" and now he feels a bit more only a little though sympathy for gun.

Even better if your only whiny WITH HIM.

Like everyone else be like "oooh y/n is such a sweetheart! Y/n's so reliable" And all the while goo's back hurt cause you demanded to be princess carried the whole day

The possibilities are endless

~🍞

I am not gonna lie. I feel blue balled.

YE YES YESSS YESSSS!!!! I FUCKING LOVE WHINY MEN!!! I LOVE IT WHEN THEY WHINE!!! MODRE SO WHEN IT'S GOO!! DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING DEADLY OF A COMBO IT WOULD BE WITH A WHINE TONE AND PUPPY EYE GOO!! DO YOU!!????!?!? GAD DAMN!! I LOVE MY BABY BOYYY!!!

BUT- non whiny kim Joongoo. *shaking* NON WHINY KIMJOONGOO. uhh basically kim joongoo not making cute faces yk. Like he is just breathing and 'normally' sitting. No crappy smile, no nothing, him just sitting class and fucking breathinmglwjhvbwsliugbfvhyvwkuyfvusvyivoy. 🧍‍♀️. AHHHHIUZGDIUAGVKUGJVYGVUYFGYFDVUYVADGUY🦅🦅🦅🦅👹 EYAAAGHIyOgwdvaifcaefiyfgvuouofqegguoguo👹👹👹👹👹👹 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE👹👹👹👹👹👹iggcsvd he would look so HAWTTTTTTT SDKSKKSKSKS😝 EHEHEHEHEH

YES. GOO WITH A WHINY S/O DEALING WITH THEIR BULLSHITS IS FUCKING ADORABLE TOO BUT YOU KNOW WHAT EXACTLY HAS ME ON A CHOKE HOLD?!?!?!?!?

GOO!!💥 WITH!!💥 A!! 💥WHINY!!💥 S/O!!💥 BUT!!!!!💥💥💥 HE!!💥💥💥 I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SAY IT KUAGVBUIVADGVADUIOBUBCABCAUOCVUOC AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Listen LISTENNNNN Goo just sitting with a little smile, not smirk, SMILE.. ON. HIS. FACE. sitting together as he listens to his S/O whining about how their day went. Am I being delusional? no, but am I a giggling mess rn? YES. AHHHHHUAGIEUAKCGUCAEBUC👹👹👹 STOP ME. SOMEONE@!!!HBkaucvvkci. I have tears on my eyes just thinking abt it. Life is not daijobu without goo😞😞😞 I need my Goo oppar ljgblavgsldgvunlvsn GIGGLE👹👹👹

YES. KISS TO SHUT YOU UP. I EAT THAT SHIT UP EVERYTIME. BUT I ALSO LIKE TO IMAGINE GOO JUST KISSING YOU ON YOUR HANDS OR ON YOUR FACE AS YOU JUST CONTINUE TO TALK. i am not feeling fine. wgyifguofeuogfeguofwguofuhfguoefoufwguof4ogui3fgiou

[moldy-flowers]

In my head Sakura weilds her axe like Diane from seven deadly sins weilds her Gideon

[adiraofthetals]

The real vibes are having Canva open on one tab to make mini-comics, Eureka on another tab, and a third tab for my Eureka timeline and fact doc.

Also extra tidbit! Eureka as a show only has 3 canon dates. Over five seasons. We have canon years but not canon dates (Time travel is in the show). The canon dates we have is October 3rd, 2006 + October 3rd, 2010, April 15th, 1947 + April 15th, 2010, and another one that I can't remember right now. The rest are implied or holiday episodes. So that is why I am making a timeline! Mainly for my fic and for me to figure out what is going on.

[rubber-glovs]

SCIENCE HOMEWORK I HATE YOU WHY😭😭💔💔💔

[alittlebitofrainbyyourside]

I drank coffee later than Advised so that I'd have energy to dye my hair after work and all it did was Give Me Mental Illness.

[nightingale-prompts]

Danny adopts himself

It's a common joke in Gotham that Bruce Wayne will adopt any black-haired and blue-eyed traumatized boy he finds. So much so that even he leans into it. But he was completely shocked when Damian confronts him about having a new brother that he did not want.

Bruce could barely get a word in when the rest of the family arrived upset that they weren't told about getting another sibling after Damian texted the family group chat (for once).

Damian had encountered a boy around Drake's age moving stuff into what was an empty room. The room was now furnished top to bottom with glowing green lights, tapestries of stars, random artifacts, several telescopes, and model rockets.

He knew the moment he saw the black hair and blue eyes that his father had taken in another ward.

Apparently Bruce was the last the know about his new "son" who was currently rearranging furniture and asking to help Alfred with dinner.

Said dinner was an uncomfortable as Bruce was grilled by his kids on his addiction to adoption. Simultaneously they tried to get to know the new addition to the family.

It was easy to see that Damian didn't like Danny but it was equally easy to see that Danny could cow the boy like a border collie on a lamb. When Damian thew a dagger the teen caught it with one hand as it passed his face and then slid it across the table back to Damian.

"Try again. " Danny said "And this time don't aim to miss on purpose. If you want me dead you need to do better."

Damian put the knife away and huffed.

Tim and Danny hit it off almost instantly. The way they were able to bounce their thoughts back and forth made Tim believe that he found an equal.

Danny was able to understand Cassie immediately with just look in eachothers eyes like he was reading her mind but not in a creepy way.

Jason of course noticed the strange energy in the air around the kid. It was soothing. Like lavender wafting in the air. Well lavender for everyone else for him it was like opium. His eyes felt heavy like he had eaten a handful of poppy seeds. At the same time he felt full, like he had eating a full meal after starving for a week.

Whatever it is Damian was feeling it too. The demon looked even more his age as he rubbed his eyes and yawned. The crease in his brow gone.

Duke on the other hand was more on edge as his eyes flickered towards Danny before looking away. He had something he wanted to ask about the glowing boy but since no one can see it or just isn't saying anything he will keep quiet for now.

Next was Barbara who teased the new kid.

"So how do you like your new family? Ready to be the new robin?" She asked.

"Im robin." Damian mumbled groggily.

The others were waiting for Damian to finally fall asleep and glared at one another in a challenge to be the one to pick up Damian and put him to bed. Dick was winning.

Speaking of Dick, as expected he was off the wall excited to learn more about his new little brother. He wanted the full story as to why Bruce took him in. He could almost certainly guess it was because of a tragic situation and Dick was already ready to handle it as the greatest big brother ever and he wasn't sharing the title no matter what Barbara said. Even if she was Stephanie's favorite.

Bruce cleared his throat and the table went silent. "So, Danny. Where exactly did you come from? Why are you here? And how did you know who I am?"

Everyone went white. Did they all just risk their identities believing that Danny was a new Robin? Why didn't Bruce say something? Not even a signal for the protocol they would use.

Danny frowned looking a bit hurt.

"What do you mean, Bruce? You said you owed me. You said you'd give me anything I wanted if saved your son. I even helped you get back home when you got lost in time." Danny huffed feeling betrayed.

The table went silent.

Bruce made a few calculations in his brain before something must have come to mind. "I lost my memory for a bit so I need a bit of proof."

Danny placed a batarang on the table. The batarang had an engraving on it in a code that only Bruce knew.

"You told me to show this to Alfred when I came. We had a deal, Bruce. You promised me whatever I wanted." Danny huffed clearly insulted.

Just like Danny had said the code was the one Bruce had made. However this code wasn't a promise to grant a favor but to welcome someone new to the family. Past Bruce must have had plans to take the boy in but told Danny something else to lure him here.

Bruce recognized that everyone was right and he has a problem now that he's looking at it like this.

[teaboot]

Wait why were you in israel/palestine? Aren’t you canadian?

I am. A friend of my family was traveling from Egypt to Jerusalem on pilgrimage and someone who had reserved a spot in the group had to drop out, so there was a last-minute seat available and they asked me if I was interested.

Life is short, and it wasn't the sort of trip I'd be able to afford on my own in a million years, so I tagged along as the token agnostic.

And I'm glad I did, because a few months later some of the places we'd visited were leveled flat.

A lot of beautiful, rolling green hillsides are charred dust now, and good, kind people are dead.

Buildings we slept in are gone. Children who waved to us in the street are gone. Small shops and vendors and houses are gone. Old men gathered together to smoke and chat in little rooms by the streetside are gone.

Passing from Israel into Palestine was a visible, abrupt switch from a modern city not unlike Vancouver to a slum. Like some of the reservations I've been to here up north that go to shit sometimes, where the Chief and his family all have brand new BMW's and nobody else has had their plumbing fixed.

Buildings were repaired with minimal supplies, trash was gathered in the streets, and the roads were bare dirt for long stretches at a time. You could tell that this wasn't a place being treated kindly, but people were doing their best. Everyone we met treated us well. Everyone we met was kind, and welcoming, and generous.

One man I spoke with said he was hoping to come to Canada someday. Take his family and live here. He asked how cold it got.

I told him that their winter was like our summer. He didn't like that- said he didn't like being cold.

I told him to wait for summer, then, and he could visit with me. Told him everywhere he'd have to see when he arrived, all the best landmarks and museums.

The first bombs dropped before winter.

I don't know if he waited.

[astonmartinii]

i love him, it's ruining my life [guilty as sin part one] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

a contract ends, a relationship is exposed and even with everything on the line, she still loves him.

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 621,099 others

yourusername: out and about town

view all comments

user1: girl? girl? GIRL?

user2: carlos' career is DEAD AND SHE'S POSTING VACATION PICS ON INSTAGRAM

user3: at least they're cute instagram pics

landonorris: y/n i think it's time you finally take that phone off of do not disturb

yourusername: but that's the perpetual state of my phone i am a poet i was born to be in the woods, if you have news tell me now before i close this app in 20 seconds

landonorris: i don't want to air your brother's business out in a public instagram comments literally just scroll through your timeline idiot

yourusername: wait let me open the family group chat

yourusername: WHAT

user4: are we about to see her reaction to carlos losing his seat in real time?

user5: let me grab my popcorn one sec

yourusername: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?

landonorris: take your phone off DND for once in your life and maybe you’d be clued in on the news

charles_leclerc: and while you’re at it reply to all the tiktoks i sent you

landonorris: not the time leclerc

charles_leclerc: but but but my tiktoks… i finally got a tarot card reading that resonates

landonorris: NOT THE TIME

charles_leclerc: don’t hate the player hate the game

carlossainz55: really?

charles_leclerc: i am TALKING ABOUT TIKTOKS LEAVE ME ALONE

yourusername: this is a lot - gosh can’t a girl go on holiday without everything imploding (i'll check the tiktoks in a second)

user6: anyone kinda weirded out that charles is just here joking with y/n as if his teammate and her brother hasn’t just been forced out of a job?

liked by carlossainz55

user7: babe he wasn’t forced out of a job, his contract wasn’t renewed. the last time i checked this was a sport where they compete not sit around and sit kumbaya

liked by charles_leclerc

user8: oh! they’re both liking shady comments already, it’s been a day since the announcement

user9: this is gonna get ugly isn’t it?

user10: awful, truly. i’m sat.

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1,029,458 others

carlossainz55: love all, trust a few and do wrong to none

view all comments

user11: .... right, what ever the fuck that means?

user12: i mean i was just here to celebrate the win what is all this poetry

user11: are we shading charles? lewis? ferrari?

yourusername: shakespeare, really?

carlossainz55: i can read you know

yourusername: oh really, that's news to me

user13: erm you guys i thought the whole job loss thing was meant to bring the family together....

user14: they joke like this all the time this is just sibling banter

user15: idk it's reading a lil more tense than usual, not that there's any reason for that (that we know of)

charles_leclerc: doing the tifosi proud ❤️

carlossainz55: will do while i can

user16: yall .... what happened to the chemistry

user17: they were never friends - pierre tried to tell yall

landonorris: a carlando podium !!! lets do this every week

carlossainz55: golf buddies and podium buddies - you love to see it

landonorris: LETS GO WILD AND PUT IT ON FERRARIS TAB THEY OWE YOU

landonorris: i mean let's celebrate your triumph good pal!

user18: the PR monster got lando :( rip

carlossainz55: just being able to win in front of the most important people in my life is enough

user19: does anyone else think it was weird that y/n wasn't at the race?

user20: like y/n loves australia she litr says that she was an aussie in a past life...

user21: also the most recent carlos comment... is y/n not one of the most important people in his life?

user22: do we think something has happened? like maybe he thought she should've cut her holiday short to come home to support him?

user23: also the fact that her and charles were immediately like joking around with each other? maybe it just rubbed him the wrong way

user24: but not even considering her an important person to him? and also that just seems like he's shifting all the blame to charles when it's ferrari who haven't extended the contract

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 892,309 others

tagged: kellypiquet & yourusername

maxverstappen1: she says she's a professional third wheel, i call that being a LEECH

view all comments

user29: unlikely trio but somehow my favourite

user30: y/n really be their overgrown child

yourusername: how am i the leech when i paid for the ice cream mr millionaire 🤨

maxverstappen1: ever thought about how i want to spend quality time with my girlfriend?

yourusername: won't someone think of the children

maxverstappen1: ur 23

yourusername: that's it! p and i are unionising against this if you find suspiciously well drawn crayon graffiti on your walls it was NOT me

maxverstappen1: don't threaten my walls if you still want to come to races

yourusername: low blow 😩

user31: does that mean... she's not going to races with carlos?

user32: she's always been in his garage tho like even with how close her and max have always been SHE'S ALWAYS IN GARAGE 55

user33: i feel like this has something to do with the whole seat situation i'm not sure how but like i think there's something weird going on here

kellypiquet: don't worry @yourusername it might be max's house but it's p that has the final say

yourusername: no one gets bluey like i do

maxverstappen1: yeah but while you're here you get the best seat at the tea party IT'S NOT FAIR

yourusername: well one of us can name all the disney princesses and one of us can't

user34: so.... y/n is living with max? but i thought her and carlos shared an apartment in madrid?

user35: guys i'm so confused

user36: we need the twitter detectives on this asap

charles_leclerc: no lec... when i specifically sent you a PR bundle, you hate to see it

maxverstappen1: you only sent that to us for y/n

charles_leclerc: maybe! but i have it on good authority that you loved the vanilla

maxverstappen1: ummmmmmm no i'm a professional athlete, y/n ate all of it

yourusernames: FALSEHOODS

charles_leclerc: i know who i believe

maxverstappen1: why is everyone ganging up on me in this comment section

user37: charles sending lec to max's house just for y/n WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN

user38: and does it have anything to do with carlos maybe kicking her out

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 673,892 others

yourusername: gotta make sure i give p a reason to tell me stick around

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user39: charles is always in the likes before me and i have notifications on

user40: they seem like such close friends it's so annoying that they're never spotted together at a race and we have no pictures of them :(

charles_leclerc: why do i never get any baked goods i literally sent my ice cream to my arch rivals house just for you

yourusername: you're never in the fucking country that's why

charles_leclerc: i have this kind of demanding job i don't know if you knew

yourusername: i also have the demanding job of being sexy and i cope just fine

charles_leclerc: i heard you got employee of the year, hard to be too upset when you're the competition

yourusername: better luck next time babe

user41: openly flirting with the guy that caused her brother to lose his job, this girl is just shameless

yourusername: do you think charles is the literal ceo of ferrari?

user42: why are you defending charles more than your actual brother?

yourusername: i feel like i gotta make this statement every three buisness days on here but like you people don't know what happens in our personal lives and i can defend my friends if i feel they're being unnecessarily questioned

user43: queen snapped omg

user38: they always be out here trying her like she's not a writer and poet SHE WILL READ YOU FOR FILTH

maxverstappen1: pretty sure she'd replace you with me in like two seconds so you're safe until [redacted] gets home

yourusername: i'm pretty sure with the right campaign i could sway jimmy and sassy to my side as well

user44: who the FUCK IS REDACTED

maxverstappen1: wouldn't you like to know 🤨

yourusername: max ???

maxverstappen1: what? i didn't have friends growing up i like that you tell me secrets

yourusername: oh :(

maxverstappen1: you wanna tell me more?

yourusername: NO YOU ALREADY KNOW THE BIGGEST ONE

maxverstappen1: true 💅🏻

user45: so like the secret is defo a relationship right?

user46: do we think carlos knows?

user47: by the fact that he's not in these comments... probably not

user48: so like he looses his seat and finds out his sister is in a secret relationship? someone give the guy a break

user49: or maybe, just maybe, there's a reason that y/n hasn't told carlos and he's not the guy we all think he is

liked by charles_leclerc

user50: OH? this war is so on ....

f1teaspill

liked by user51, user52 and 31,845 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

f1teaspill: the war at ferrari is heating up... turns out there's a lot carlos didn't know and FOR YEARS. yes, you're reading that right, y/n sainz and charles leclerc have been in a relationship for at least two years and believe us we have a VERY credible source like WITHIN THE FAMILY level source.

the most important thing about this whole relationship is how carlos did not know for years, so how much more was hidden from him? did y/n know about the seat swap for lewis? was she leaking strategies to charles? was she sabotaging her own brother?

view all comments

user53: OH SHITTTTTTTTTT

user54: cancel me if you will but i think the hottest couple in f1 just dropped

user55: the fact we've been robbed of content of them for years .... i'm angry I NEED THE POETRY ABOUT CHARLES

user56: i'm gonna need y/n or charles to drop all the pics in response

user57: y'all a source "within the family"? did these fools find out about y/n's relationship and immediately run to an f1 TEA PAGE???

user58: that's some goofy ass shit

user59: i find it funny that instead of sitting down and thinking about why their daughter/sister didn't feel comfortable enough to tell you about her relationship they're like i know EXACTLY who needs to hear this

user60: the way it's proved her completely right to not tell them

user61: do you guys think this is like a tv show or like fan fiction? in what world is y/n sharing strategies to fuck over her own BROTHER?

user62: also be for fucking real... strategies? ferrari? at least try and be realistic

user63: also.... walk with me .... why would y/n and charles conspire to put lewis hamilton in carlos' seat? LEWIS FUCKING HAMILTON AND SEVEN TIME WORLD CHAMPION? WHY WOULD CHARLES WANT TO TAKE HIM ON OVER A GUY HE'S ALREADY BEATEN TWICE

user64: see this is the point! sainz camp you can try and demonise charles and yOUR OWN DAUGHTER all you want but we all know it's bull shit

user65: one thing about this that really rubs me the wrong way is that the sainz camp clearly expected that if y/n was in a relationship with charles that she would've been a double agent for carlos? and because she's not fucking insane they're now going for character assassination of their own SISTER/DAUGHTER

user66: THIS THIS THIS

user67: carlos won't even consider y/n an "important" person in his life but expect her to sacrifice or exploit her relationship for cheap psychological points

user68: also y/n isn't even at most races so how is she getting carlos' strategies to give to charles? this shit doesn't make any sense

user69: carlos himself has said in an interview that y/n is useless when it comes to racing that she's just a supportive figure rather than someone who has any in depth racing knowledge

user70: this is insane level hating with all the evidence out here... and against your own family...

user71: this just makes me think that y/n wasn't in australia for a reason - like was she banned from carlos' garage

user72: and the fact she's been staying at max's it just makes me think that y/n was kicked out of her and carlos' apartment

user73: now tHATS INSANE

espnf1

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 1,025,788 others

tagged: carlossainz55, charles_leclerc & yourusername

espnf1: well... this could be awkward

view all comments

user77: espn babe you're just like me

user78: *slides $5 across the bar* get a camera in the ferrari garage?

espnf1: we're working on it 😩

user79: pierre and max here... they really are the paddock gossip girls

maxverstappen1: i guess carlos couldn't handle that i knew who redacted was before him 🤷🏻‍♂️

carlossainz55: really?

maxverstappen1: don't put your sister on the streets and i won't dunk these jokes on your head

user80: is this like the official f1 civil war?

carlossainz55: you don't know anything max, i'd really keep your nose out of our business

maxverstappen1: i actually know exactly how you guys move, you tried it on 17 year old me and it becomes my business when my best friend calls me with no where else to go (also i know you changed the locks while you were in maranello so she wouldn't be able to go to charles, you're not slick)

carlossainz55: i never took you as a lap dog max

yourusername: calling him the lap dog when you're the biggest bitch on the grid - bold

carlossainz55: you're burning a lot of bridges for a talentless slut who had to start fucking my teammate when we cut you off

yourusername: keep throwing your PR to the fire and see who fucking hires you, i guess we'll both be unemployed bums

user80: also imagine calling her talentless like she isn't a well established poet LOL

user81: guys this is getting so bad so quickly

user82: we got the whole rest of the season of this

user83: mad respect to max for sticking up for his bestie

user84: and her actual boyfriend isn't?

yourusername: charles will do his talking on the track like he always does. he won't debase himself with bickering in instagram comments, funnily enough ferrari don't like that - might be the reason he still has a seat and someone doesn't

carlossainz55: or he's a pussy who has his woman talk for him

yourusername: at least he has a woman to talk for him, he doesn't behind his dad at any sign of trouble. i've always known i didn't matter to dad the moment i wasn't a boy but i'm not afraid of him or you and i know exactly how you work. good luck

user85: do they know we can all read this?

user86: when i'm in an oversharing contest and the sainz siblings walk in

user87: those ferrari debriefs are gonna be AWKWARD

yourusername: especially since he doesn't have binotto to hide behind any more

user88: girl you good?

yourusername: i've never been better, this has been building for years even before charles and i got together

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 908,487 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: i love you, it's ruining my life

view all comments

user89: y/n i'm gonna let you finish but we could really get the best poetry out of all of this

user90: for real like yeah i'm sorry your brother tried to make you homeless, exposed your relationship, accused you of treason and called you a talentless slut - but think of the poetry!

charles_leclerc: i love you and i hope you're okay

yourusername: i'll always be okay with you

charles_leclerc: it's out now and no one can take us away from each other

charles_leclerc: i'd actually love to see them try

yourusername: i'd go through this fortnight of hell over and over again if it meant i'd still keep you

charles_leclerc: i'd like to say this is the end of it but i think we're in for the long run now

yourusername: i'm prepared to go to war for you

charles_leclerc: there's no one i'd rather be on the front lines with

user91: oh brother... YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A POET WE GET IT

charles_leclerc: * in love with

user91: oh my bad

charles_leclerc: no worries

user91: STILL GROSS BRO

liked by maxverstappen1

charles_leclerc: max ???

maxverstappen1: you guys need to calm down cause i'm not good with words and kelly is gonna start scrutinising my cards and i DO NOT HAVE THE VOCABULARY FOR IT

yourusername: lol

maxverstappen1: lol? LOL? did our brief yet forced stint as roommates mean nothing?

yourusername: fine i'll ghostwrite your valentines cards

user92: so this is all a bit melodramatic

user93: he CHANGED THE LOCKS BRO SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE MELODRAMATIC

liked by charles_leclerc

user94: okay so now we're in full blown f1 civil war - who is on each side?

user95: well max and pierre are on charles' side. i'd also add in lewis, seb, oscar, esteban, george, alex, yuki and daniel

user96: so carlos has lando and fernando?

fernandoalo_oficial: it might not be blood but that's my daughter

user96: ????

user97: did he just show up to diss carlos and then refuse to elaborate?

user98: sounds like a nando thing to do .... also just leaves carlos with lando lol

user99: this feels a bit unfair

yourusername: all is fair in love and poetry

fin.

note: so as soon as i had this idea (litr TTPD release day) i have been so busy and WHACKED with the worst writer's block but i hope this is a good start and rest assured knowing the beef will only get worse... I LOVE DRAMA

note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: @aadu2173 @rhythmstars @kqliie @booksandflowrs @2bormaybenot @firelily-mimi @evie-119

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for getting my best friend killed?

I swear to God, it was an accident.

My (27) BF (34) has a reputation for getting himself out of any jam you can imagine; and at first it was just a fun little thing the friend group noticed: there goes Oily J wiggling his way out of trouble again. but as the meme evolved in the group, it got to the point where we'd loykey started getting him into situations just to see how he'd get out of 'em, and he akept getting out of em. He was having fun with it too same as us. "Oh you guys," he'd say, "getting me into situations again," before laughing it off and getting out of it, so it was enrichment for our shared enclosures, and as time went on, the situations got more intense.

The trouble is, it turns out that putting a man in too many situations eventually gets the police interested. And not local hobsknockers cops either; they was like, proper three-letter FEDs. They put out a bounty on any information pertaining to his capture and everything. It was good money too so I thought, hey why don't I put J in another situation he can wiggle out of like always (and he'd wiggled outta worse before, so I thought this one'd be relatively mild), and at the next boardgame night (cause it was too late to do anything special for this one) we can buy some extra strong booze and get absolutely blitzed while having a giggle about the situation.

Boardgame night, and we were playing some social deduction nonsense or another and he says: "One of you is gonna betray me tonight." and I can't help but think, looking back on it, that he knew. It's stupid, I know he was talking about the game, but the way he said it, it was like he knew. We all felt it, and we had a big round robin round the table taking turns promising that we'd never betray him. And I said it so easily cause I thought it was true. Sure, I was gonna talk to the feds about a bounty; but, I fully expected my big beautiful oily boy to wiggle his way out of the trouble I was 'bout to cause, and that's not a betrayal. I wasn't lying. I didn't think I was lying.

My big beautiful oily boy didn't manage to wiggle his way out of it. They killed him and I got my blood money. He's gone.

He's gone and I'm devastated, crying, mourning. I loved him so much. We all did. And I can't stop thinking that it's my fault: that I'm the reason he's gone. and it is. and the guilt is eating me up inside. and I just need to talk to someone about it. So, I tell the rest of the group what happened in the group chat, hoping they'd understand that I didn't want this. I didn't want the government's blood money. It was supposed the be a prank. some joint enclosure enrichment. He was supposed to wiggle out of it like he always does... did, i mean.

They call me, among worse things, the asshole and kick me from the group chat. And, I know it's my fault he's dead: I know that. If I didn't do what I did, he wouldn't be dead right now. But, I didn't mean it for it to end up this way. He was supposed to be okay, damn it. I loved him. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[illbegottenfaith]

kiss me better, love

as the two of you stumble into bed after a Valentine's dinner date, theo realises it's not fair how much he loves you (theo nott x reader)

a/n - valentines fic #2 !!!! thought of this idea in a class literally 5 hours ago and idk if its the sleep deprivation but this is sooo self-indulgent writing this had me giggling and kicking my feet frfr 😭 all I have to say is if this isnt me and my future partner I dont want him I send him BACK

tropes/warnings - physical touch as a love language, angry theo but also soft theo 🥰🥰 no (read: minimal) proof reading we die like men etc etc

word count - 1.5k

taglist - @hzdhrtss @justaproudperson @ebriton @thaliashifts @friedfreyfries @allie-sturns

The door shuts behind you both, plunging the room into near-darkness. You barely take a step before bumping into Theo, your knee knocking against his thigh, your hands flying to his shoulders as you stumble.

"Merlin,” he mutters, steadying you with a grip at your waist. “Can you - ”

“You're the one barging into me,” you shoot back, tucking a lock behind your ear as you tighten your grip on Theo’s shoulder, making him wince.

“Anyway, like I was saying, it hasn’t even been a week since Missy - ”

Theo exhales sharply, blindly reaching for the zipper at your back. “Is this something I really need to be hearing right now?” he asks somewhat waspishly.

“Yes.” You barely register his tone, still preoccupied. “So I walk into Charms in Tuesday, expecting to find Josh understandably distraught and/or in mourning. But who do I see him chatting up instead?"

"Hair."

You gather your hair up in one hand to hold it up and go right on talking. You barely notice Theo's largely ineffective attempts at pushing your sleeves off your shoulders.

"Pansy Parkinson! Pansy flipping Parkinson. What, does he think he's a free man now or something? Melissa's halfway across the world, she's not dead."

"Mhm."

You sigh exaggeratedly at his lackluster responses.

“Well? Don't you have to anything to add?"

“Yeah - hold still.” You This is just ridiculous, Theo was thinking. What kind of dress needed buttons and a zip?

You huff, switching your hair to your other hand. “Honestly, Theo, have you listened to a single thing I’ve been saying the past hour?”

Theo groans, still fumbling at your lower back. He had figured out the buttons were decorative, bless him, but your dress was on the more delicate side, and if he ripped it, he'd never hear the end of it. “Uh, yeah, that Abernathy guy...he’s two-timing Melissa?"

“He is not,” you say, peering over your shoulder to see what was taking Theo so long. Seriously, what was going on back there? It doesn't help, though, not when you can barely make him out in the dark. “not yet at least. He might. And if he's going to, well, isn't it better she finds out now rather than ten years down the road? Or am I an awful friend for thinking that?"

"Thinking what?" Theo asks distractedly.

"Willing my best friend's boyfriend into cheating on her."

Before he can formulate a response, your stubborn zipper finally decides to cooperate and moves down an inch - snagging at his finger. A sharp hiss cuts through the dark, followed by some emphatic, muttered swearing.

You pause.

“…what was that?”

Theo slips his injured finger out of his mouth briefly, his voice strained as he struggles to keep the pain out of his tone. “Nothing.”

You shift slightly, trying to catch his expression in the dark, but he’s suspiciously still now, his hands nowhere on you anymore.

“Theo.”

“I’m fine.”

Your brow furrows. Then, his suddenly subdued demeanour and oddly neutral tone clicks in your head.

"Did you hurt yourself?"

There’s an immediate rustle, followed by Theo’s very delayed attempt at nonchalance.

“…no.”

Oh, you could throttle him. “Was it the zip again?”

“You keep saying that like I do it intentionally - I never mean to-”

“And now you're trying to suck the pain away like a child?”

“Would you rather I bleed all over your dress?”

“I’d rather you watch what you’re doing so you don’t get maimed by a bloody zip in the first place!”

Theo exhales sharply, his frustration palpable. “I keep telling you - I don't-”

“You never mean to, but here we are.” You cross your arms. “Third time in two weeks, Theo. This is getting ridiculous. Should I hire a nurse for our dates? A medic? Do you need to start taking my clothes off under medical supervision? Is that what we've come to?"

Theo glares at you (or the shadowy figure he was mostly sure was you), trying to pull his attention away from the stinging pain. “Oh, don’t start - ”

“You don’t think before you do things.”

Theo groans. “I think plenty.”

“No, you rush plenty. Really, it’s a miracle you still have all your limbs -”

He rolls his eyes. “Oh, here we go.”

“First, you burn yourself on my curling iron -”

“Okay, one, you shouldn't be leaving your things out like that.”

“Then you cut yourself opening a tin of biscuits -”

Theo tips his head back in exasperation. “You sh - you literally shoved it at me!”

“ - and now my zipper is out to get you?” You throw your hands up. “What are you telling me, Teddy? That every item I own has a personal vendetta against you?”

"Mattheo agrees with me, you know," you continue smugly, in a so-there kind of tone. "He told me about that time you nearly broke your neck falling down that flight of stairs on the way to Transfiguration, which wouldn't have happened if you weren't - "

"Rushing, I know." Theo steps back as if to escape. “Merlin, you are insufferable - ”

“And you are reckless.”

“I don't need you to lecture me.”

“You’d be fine if you just listened to m - show me your finger.”

A brief struggle ensues.

You lunge; he sidesteps. You fumble blindly for his hand; he twists out of reach.

“For fuck’s sake -”

“Stop being so difficult.”

“I’m not being difficult, you’re being a menace.”

“At least I don't get mauled by zippers.”

“I'm telling you, that zipper has it out for me."

“Well, maybe if you weren’t always in such a bloody rus - ”

“Enough with the rushing!”

“I can't help it if you never learn - ”

“I do learn,” he snaps, stepping back further - only for you to grab onto his wrist and pull.

There’s a shuffle, a scuffle as Theo stumbles back into the dresser with a thud.

“Oi - ”

“Oh, stop squirming, you big baby.”

“You stop grabbing- ”

“Theodore, you are injured. Act like it.”

“I am n- ”

“Then give me your hand.”

A long, heavy pause. Then -

“No.”

You groan, exasperated. “Merlin, you are the most - ”

“And you are relentless - ”

But at last, in an impressive show of determination, you manage to latch onto his wrist, wrenching his hand towards you before he can twist away again. Theo groans in frustration, but you’ve already found the wound—his fingertip, warm and damp against yours.

“Oh, for - ” You tighten your grip as he tries to pull away. “You are bleeding!”

Theo tenses, his entire body bristling. “It’s nothing.”

“On my zipper,” you say incredulously. “Again.”

He exhales sharply as if this is somehow your fault. “You don’t need to make a whole production of it - ”

“I told you to be careful - ”

“And I was - ”

“Clearly not enough!”

Theo groans, tipping his head back against the dresser. “I’m buying you a tear-away dress next Valentine’s.”

You bite back a smirk. “I’d like to see you figure that one out.”

He mutters something under his breath that you don’t quite catch, but you’re already bringing his hand up, brushing your lips over the wound.

He stills.

The fight, the irritation, the tension - all of it dissolves instantly under your touch.

You press another kiss there, softer this time. Through a sliver of moonlight cutting through the curtains, he sees your face - your impish expression, your eyes, alight with amusement and plain adoration. You watch his face too - his furrowed brows relaxing, the slight part of his lips, his sharp features softened by something indiscernible.

His eyes flick to yours.

And Merlin, it’s not fair, he thinks. It’s not fair how you can drive him to the brink of insanity one second and then look at him like that the next, like you could never get your fill. It's enough to make him think you're worth all the trouble you put him through. It's enough to make him want to slow down. Merlin knows the last thing he wants is to rush through his days with you.

“…better?” you murmur against his skin after a moment.

Theo exhales, rolling his eyes as though he isn’t already relenting. "It's a start," he says grudgingly.

Your smile widens as you bring his hand up again, pressing another kiss there, then another, then another.

Theo groans, tipping his head back again, his frustration dwindling with every sympathetic brush of your lips.

“You like this,” you tease.

“Shut up,” he mumbles, but his voice has softened, his body relaxing into yours.

You grin, pressing a kiss to his wrist. Then his palm.

Theo groans again, for reasons unrelated to his earlier irritation, his fingers curling at your waist.

You laugh softly. “Want me to kiss you better everywhere?”

Theo smiles weakly, pulling you closer. “That's the best idea you've had all night."

[prlssprfctn]

What do you think about this?

I thought it...

Jason is emotionally adopted by every rogue, villain and enemy of Batman and the BatFam with the exception of the Clown

Like he can just annoy Tim by requesting Ra's to please give him Tim's spleen jar and show it to Tim before giving it back to Ra's.

Each bat kid has one rogue that is connected to them and Jason becomes the favorite of all Robins because... 1 is to be petty and 2 he broke down the enemies defenses and made himself their favorite.

Jason is petty like that.

i actually love this! funnily enough, i think Jason accidentally befriended a few of them even as Robin (an interesting detail: as Robin Jason was very inclined to believe that rogues of Gotham can actually change, while Bruce brushed him off; in one of comics, he really wanted to believe that Penguin had changed their ways, and, of course, he turned out to be wrong, and Bruce explained him that people like him don't change, but isn't it just *so* curious and feels like unintentional foreshadowing? especially, considering that Bruce pushes the "this kid would end up a criminal [or dead] if not for me" from the very beginning of Jason's arc?)

but back to the point, i absolutely love this headcanon. i don't think he will tolerate *all* of them (definitely not Penguin and Crane, I think; Harley, depending on how triggered he is just by Joker association), but the most? for sure. putting my bet that Selina and Pamela might be his favourite, actually.

the funniest part most of them are, like, nerds with PHD. that's exactly a type of people that will welcome his rants about books and law, politics and economy, and— you get it.

and then, there is Ra's. they are very annoying to each other, but they collaborate when they know that their ideas and duo will annoy others. Bruce is getting grey hair every time he knows Jason is at LoA again? Ra's announce that Jason is his grandson as well. Dick is getting a tick because Al Ghul's family is his least favourite family in the world? Jason *accidentally* mixes up chats and sends Dick his selfie with Ra's instead of Talia. bonus points: Dick hates that his chat is somewhere next to Talia, too.

do he also help rogues on occasions when he wants to annoy Bruce? sure.

Batman, trying to catch Selina after she stole something from city hall again:

Jason, calling him in the middle of the chase: Sos, emergency

Batman, pausing: Son? What's wrong?

Jason: I am stuck resolving Riddler's shit, and I really need help with the last one.

Batman: What is it?????

Jason: What cat says when Bat fails again?

Batman: Uh—

Jason, before hanging up dramatically: Don't be mean to your second son.

Batman: Excuse me—

Selina, hopping on a suspiciously familiar bike with a suspiciously familiar vigilante driving it: Muah!

Batman: Shit.

Dick, barging inside the Cave, furious: Had you managed to fight with Jason again?

Bruce: ...How did you know?

Dick: I've spent thirteen hours trying to resolve all Riddler's trials. Some of them were required to quote Jane Austin and fill blanks in Edgar Allan Poe's poems. HOW DO I KNOW?!? GO AND APOLOGISE, YOU STUPUD OLD MAN.

Bruce: ^_^

Red Hood and Riddler on the other side of town: (collective evil giggles)

Tim, sighing, because police asked Red Robin to regulate Poison's Ivy rally in front of CGDP building: Man, it is Sunday...

Tim, squinting at a familiar figure in leather jacket: Jason? What the fuck you are doing here? Are you under Ivy's pollen influence, too?

Jason, holding a big ass poster: Nah, man, just helping my girl Pam

Tim: ...Honestly. Whatever. I'll leave the territory to you.

[gojossugarcandy]

A tired girl is aching to get some sleep when her karma doesn't let her.

An act of laziness and, well, cheating got her to her lowest. The act being summoning of a devil, an incubus, to cure her boredom. This girl had her summer vacations going on and her friends had abandoned her on the very first minute of it.

So she decided to poke around and found out about a spell that summoned an incubus. Not believing in this nonsense, she decided to try it out. Well, there was an upside and a downside.

Upside -> She got a boyfriend who oozed out sexual energy like hell

Downside -> This boyfriend was not one who pampered her but was to be pampered.

Lavi was a fucking bitch in heat who always clung to Y/n.

Never letting her take a breather.

And a few times he was abandoned, when Y/n was going on a night out or something (not with her friends but just visiting a bar for a drink) then he would get very pouty and thus established some rules. One of them being, you going out with him and your friends only.

One fine evening, while You sat on your bed with Lavi on your lap, your hand combing through his hair, while he was going through some weird incubus hentai manga and criticizing it to be very inaccurate and boring.

Then, a sudden notification pop caught your and his attention.

A notification from your dead friends!

Grout Chat - Drunkard - Guys, Let's go on a night out. Playboy - Man, I was waiting for you to say that Bestie - I feel like i am dying. Finally someone revived the dead chat

Then, you start chatting with them, a huge smile etched on your face. A smile Lavi didn't want to be due to others. Only he should make you smile like that. You can smile only with him. And so on, the possessive thoughts went on....

You suddenly stood up due to which his body was forced out of your lap causing his mood to instantly change.

"The heck? Why did you do that?!" His expression of irritation is ignored by you, who was too busy finding clothes.

You start changing into a different pair of clothes. Very revealing clothes.

He was dumbfounded for a second before he also got up, excited to go out with you, excited for your first date or whatever humans call it.

After changing, you turn around to take a mirror pic and showed your dress to him, when you noticed his giddy smile.

Confused, you ask "Are you so happy to see me go out of the house or something?"

He looked at you, now he was the confused one as he declared,

"Cutie, aren't we going out together?" he asked before adding in,

"Didn't we already agree that you would always go out with me only??"

"Oh! nonono, there has been a misunderstanding here. I am going out with my friends for a night out, It's a friends thing and plus i thought i agreed to going out with you also and not you only"

In the blink of an eye, the mood changed. The room suddenly felt colder, your clothes too open and his stare too suspicious.

You didn't even realize you were holding your breath, your adrenaline, released due to your flight-or-fight instinct, already reaching every cell in your body already, until your notification sound pops. No, you were far too busy staring at those eyes, too fearful to break the eye contact.

You snapped your head at the direction of the nightstand, where your phone was kept.

But he forcefully held your jaw with one hand, snapping it back to re-establish the eye contact.

His nerves were popping out, eyes angry, pupils too small and his tail swinging wildy.

You tried to push away the hand on your jaw when he held your hand.

Now, the anger wasn't limited to his eyes only. It spread all over his face. His expression was terrifying you. He then declared, in a very deep voice,

"Going Out With 'Friends' Without Me?! Since When Were You Allowed To Do That?! Ha! Don't Make Me Laugh!"

______________________________________________________________

@meo-eiru(The image up there belong to her. I really admire, adore, worship, words are not enough! creators like these as they draw such good drawing with their imaginations! Like damnnnnn! and then there is me. A person who likes drawing but is a huge failure. (I swear, my human faces look like monkeys😂🤣😂🤣) Anyway, seeing the image, I had like a context for it. I don't know if this is good or not. My previous stories are trash because I, like, had no motivation to write but just wanted to. But this one fanart fired my imagination up and I just started writing.

Well, here we go again, with copying the text and pasting it. Lavi seems like the kind of character who acts cute and nice when you agree with him but the moment you are, like, opposing or simply disagreeing with him, he would get angry and very very scary. It is kind of similar to Silas but he won't get angry. He will just laugh freakily and like correct you with his alluring voice.

[rheitais]

DP x DC One shooting star later. Pt 1.5

This is more snips and bits about the batfam interactions with the Nightingales/Fentons.

[ Part 1 | Part 2 | Masterpost ]

Original post here^

_____________________________

In a local cafe (way before the joker incident):

Ellie: I am just saying the villains here? In all honesty are like a joke.

Jazz, studying to be a therapist: Mhmmhm, hey do you think I would be able to catch Dr. Quinzel next time shes out of Arkham?

Dan: Probably, stop stealing my food, what are you, Catwoman???

Danny: Oh please I don't have the body for that. She's very fancy, don't compare me to a queen.

Ellie: I thought you would be more insulted because you were excused for thievery.

Danny: Do I look like Dan to you?

Dan: Hypocrite says what?

Danny: Mass murderer says what?

Tim in the next booth: ????? *Aggressively texting the batfam group chat*

__________________________________

Dan: why do we need to be together again?

Danny: So you can't kill anyone again and I don't start killing people.

Dan: right, right.....

Danny:

Dan:

Dan: So.... What do we do with this?

Danny: Look clowns are really freaky. I know jazz told us to stay out of trouble since we are kinda on the bats radar but he kinda sneaked up on *us*. Again mind you. This was fully deserved. Right?

Dan, standing over the joker's dead body: Yeah, but we did just kill him in someone else's haunt.... We aren't even supposed to be over here.

Danny: Call mom?

Dan: Call mom.

Red hood overhead staring at the 2 halfas and a dead joker: Fck if they didn't already have parents I would pull a bruce with these 2.

__________________________________

Maddie: And that is how you make an energy gun that uses solar panels. No bullets and litter required and 100% effective.

Poison Ivy, who kidnapped Maddie and Ellie: Would you like to work for me?

_____________________________

Jack at a gala since his family was invited: IT IS GREAT TO MEET YOU MISTER REPORTER MAN! *Aggressively shaking the reporter's hand and honestly just man handling him the whole time*

Bruce: Ah, Mr.Nightingale I think ya wife is looking for ya?

Jack: Maddie? OK BYE REPORTER MAN AGAIN.

Clark: How the hay is he so strong?? *Still dizzy from the handshake*

Bruce: Hm. *Also had that whiplash when he first met the man*

__________________________________

Ellie: The teacher is so dumb, " Benny didn't invent anything, if anything he sucked at it. A guy named Lewie actually made it way better"

Damian: You mean Lewis Latimer?

Ellie: Yeah! He is actually a really cool dude. It's so dumb the teacher didn't mention him :(

Damian: While I would have to agree that the lack of proper credit is missing in the textbooks, I am intrigued by your opinions on this matter.

Ellie: Please I'm not fancy or anything i just travel and spoke to a lot of people for a while. Plus stuff about history is more my brother's thing, I am a chaotic art girlie myself.

Damian: Interesting.

__________________________________

Just an idea

[demonic0angel]

Dead Silent (Danny x Cass) request. Danny is being dragged around being used by Cass as a multiversal translator for a case (Or something) because polyglot Dick is busy. (I love your little snippets and your art.)

Phantom sighed as Black Bat pushed him to the front. He coughed and addressed the ghosts, who were staring at him with a judgmental look.

“Excuse me, gentleman,” Phantom said, carefully enunciating his French. “But my partner and I are currently investigating a murder. Could you tell us anything that you've seen?"

One ghost said, "You talk like a fucking American."

Phantom's smile went stiff. Black Bat stared at him silently, trying to read his ghostly posture before he coughed again and said, "I am American."

The other one patted his friend's shoulder and muttered something like, "At least he's not English, give him a break." He turned back to Phantom and said, "Yes, we did see someone pass by, but we aren't sure if he's the killer. He was, however, speaking in Italian."

Phantom nodded. "So it might be a mafia hit?"

"Maybe so," the ghost shrugged. "You couldn't find the ghosts of the victims and ask?"

Phantom shook his head. "No. They all passed and the few that stayed refused to say anything."

They chatted for a moment longer, before they left and Phantom turned to Black Bat. "So, good news or bad news?"

"Bad news."

"They don't know much and who they saw might not be the killer."

"Good news?"

Phantom smiled and said, "The person they saw was Italian and if they're the killer, then we'll know that this is a problem of the mafia."

Black Bat nodded. "We investigate the victims and families. Come. You will translate again."

Phantom sighed to himself, but nodded and allowed Black Bat to pull him along.

She was so lucky she was cute. Otherwise, he would've been making her pay a translation fee for all of the languages he had to interpret today.

[hamilando]

ੈ✩ onlysainz (smau) ੈ✩

pairing :carlos sainz x fem reader ( piastri best friend )

summary : the admin chooses red

fc: Thylane Léna-Rose Loubry Blondeau

a/n : This is the series end, I know it was a short one , I might make a prologue though ! it was requested anonymously, thank you for requesting it 🫶🏻

·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ

liked by norizz, ospastry, chillijr and 137 others

mcynburger why are all men in my life clean shaved ?

view comments

ospastry what now

mcynburger NO, YOU LOOK NICE, YOU DONT GROW ONE

mcynburger Wait, I forgot, YOU CANT EVEN GROW ONE 🫶🏻

norizz 👀

mcynburger PLEASE BET THE GOATEE BACK

norizz oh come on

mcynburger I will set you up with max

norizz done, threw out my razor

max1 excuse me what !?

max1 I AM LOYAL

mcynburger just like you are to red bull 💪🏻

georgey if toto begged me to join like that -

max1 you don’t have 3 wdc now, do you ?

hamsandwich you say that in front of me ?

chillijr hermosa? you like my beard ?

mcynburger LIKE!? LOVE 🧡

mcynburger ask oscar how much love it on you

lordperceval or me

alexmieux I know the sexual fantasies as well

mcynburger ALEXANDRA SAINT MIEUX

mcynburger Well, I won’t say no THE CARLOS SAINZ

albono don’t let love distract you from your target

lilyhye 💀

mcynburger Mate, go have some pad-thai

chillijr wait, if I ask you out you won’t say no?

mcynburger I would be mad if I do

liked by chillijr, ospastry, alexmieux, max1 and 167 others

mcynburger onlyfans ❌ onlysainz ✅

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ospastry WHY IS THERE SO MUCH NAKEDNESS

ospastry y'all so nasty

mcynburger it was hot 🔥

norizz I think I just stumbled on pornhub-

mcynburger THIS IS A CHILD FRIENDLY ACCOUNT

norizz SAYS THE LADY POSTING NAKED SELFIES

lordperceval this is literally my daily view

lordperceval I pray I become Carlos’ boyfriend in next lifetime

alexmieux stay at his house only then

alexmieux also, did you do the dishes ?

lordperceval I could eat off you …?

norizz Oh Lord, this is not your OF

chillijr I look good 👍🏻

mcynburger you always do 🥺

max1 and I thought it was not obvious they love each other

lordperceval you both fucked on first date

mcynburger not the first time 🤭

alexmieux COME TO GC LIKE RIGHT NOW !?

alexmieux YOU GET THAT SMALL ASS RIGHT HERE

chillijr it's not small -

lilyhye if you want the girl gc to approve, stay shut carlos

chillijr it’s not like you guys are going tell y/n to break up

carmenvroom where tf is she !?

chillijr in my bed, sleeping 😴

liked by user1, user2, user3 and 2,754,389 others

mclaren a well deserved podium for the constructors 🧡💪🏻 congratulations @ scuderiaferrari

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user1 PAPAYA FAMILY

user2 why do I feel admin sneaked someone ?

user3 admin fangirling over Ferrari?

user4 admin, Spanish or French 🗿

mclaren Spanish any day 😗

user5 admin is simping over a certain someone

mclaren ssh 🤫 we don't let it go out.

user6 I think the admin has gained another bother 🙂‍↕️

mclaren * blocked *

user7 CHAT, ADMIN IS LETTING PERSONAL FEELINGS SHOW

user8 admin forgetting this is the main account

user9 I swear I only follow mclaren for the admin content

user10 admin right tho, who would not simp over Carlos !?

landonorris me

liked by chillijr, alexmieux, lordperceval and 160 others

mcynburger one red mcfreak please 🔥🎸

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ospastry I see dead people..

ospastry YOU BETRAYED ME

ospastry WHERE IS THE TROPHY !? SHE GOES RUNNING TO HIM

ospastry SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW

ospastry You were my sun, you were my earth

norizz you just googled that -

norizz the font

ospastry oh-

hamsandwich did soemthing happen between you and lily ?

ospastry NO, I WOULD HAVE DIED IF IT DID

ospastry my best friend, my diaper mate, my classmate, the girl who introduced me to the love of my life just abandoned for some red suit guy

mcynburger and then Lily left me for a idiot like you ?

ospastry I AM YOUR BESTFRIEND !

chillijr mi amor ❤️

mcynburger 🥺

ospastry not the Spanish nicknames 🥴

norizz we are telling zac, you traitor

mclaren We do not have any problem with our staff having their respective personal lives - Zak

norizz WAIT- ALL THIS TIME, THE OFFICIAL ACCOUNT FOLLOWS YOU ?

mcynburger duh, it’s my account technically

norizz they heard me bitch?

mcynburger duh, why do you think your salary reduced

norizz I LOVE MCLAREN 🧡

mcynburger @ ospastry dw, I will steal Ferrari strategies and give to you

ospastry Ferrari strategies? Then I can as very much retire with just one win

lordperceval it’s @ alonsomango we need to look out for

strollinginpark or my rich dad issues ?

max1 rich dad perks having to steal Adrian

max1 my car has become Mercedes 2.0

georgey meet you in the track you dutchman

lilyhye can you stop discussing cars while appreciating Carlos and y/n?

liked by mcynburger

alexmieux WE ARE FERRARI WAGSSS

alexmieux LESSGO

alexmieux WE LOOK SO GOOD IN THE MIDDLE PIC

mcynburger Y/n x Alex = best 🫶🏻

taglist : @sainzzreputaticn @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @goldenmclaren

@taliya8346282844eliviahdgdajs @formula1-motogpfan @npcmia @hc-dutch

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@technicallypleaseanttree @lolzzzzzzzzzz @michelleyw81 @awritingtree @tellybearryyyy

[archangeldyke-all]

ANGELLLL hear me out, club mom getting hit on at work🫡🫡🫡

AEWFHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

men and minors dni

the thing is, you don't even notice it's happening.

nobody comes to a strip club and to flirt with the clothed people. especially not when those clothed people are spending their evenings kicking out touchy-feely customers and cutting off heavy drinkers. you're the resident buzzkill, that's literally half of your job. you are not the main attraction here.

so, you assume this woman's just chatty, just one of those people who'll talk to anyone. you don't even remember her name, but she's been chatting casually with you all night. you know she works in the mines. you know she's here for her buddy's birthday party. you know her favorite drink is vodka sprite. she says she likes the bubbles.

you don't even consider that she's flirting with you until cherry catches your eye across the club and frowns. after so many years working in the loud-ass club, you and cherry have become experts at reading-lips. what? you mouth.

cherry rolls her eyes. don't let sevika see you.

you frown in confusion. why? she loves these pants on me.

cherry laughs then nods toward the locker room. you huff and follow after her.

"what?" you ask.

"that lady's flirting with you mom, don't be stupid."

you burst into laughter. "why the fuck would she be flirting with me?!"

"you said the same thing about sevika on her first night here, and now look at the two of you." cherry says.

you frown. "well, yeah, but i like sevika."

cherry laughs. "and she likes you too. enough to have married you. which is why you need to steer clear of flirty-pants over there. you're gonna make your wife jealous."

the idea makes you laugh, but cherry looks dead serious. you frown in contemplation, and she kisses your cheek before heading back onto the floor.

you know sevika's the most loyal wife in the world, and sevika has full faith in your loyalty to her. she has to, seeing as the other half of your job is keeping a bunch of half-naked girls happy.

plus, flirting is obvious... right? flirting is a lower lip bitten, a heavy, calculating, lingering gaze on your hands as you work. flirting is bantering until you're too busy kissing to argue, it's sparkly grey eyes wide with lust, and giggles that sound like music.

it's not chatting about beer.

you head back out to the club only to run into ms. flirty pants herself.

"oh shit! hey, i was lookin' for you." she giggles. you frown.

"is there something i can help you with?" you ask. maybe she needs help with the atm machine-- it's been on the fritz lately.

"no, no, i was just... well, i got to talkin' to that bartender bimbo about you," you frown at the description of trinity, "and she mentioned that you're into the local music scene."

your shoulders sag in relief. she's not coming onto you, she's looking for a gig. "oh, yeah, love it. sadly, we're not lookin' for any more dj's at the moment, but if we ever have an opening--"

flirty pants cuts you off with a laugh, one of her hands landing on your shoulder. your stomach sours. "no, no, not that! god, i wish i was a musician. no, i got two tickets to this battle of the bands thing happening--"

"oh." you mutter. "no thank you." you say, enunciating each word clearly as you can over the music and firmly removing her hand from your shoulder.

you brush past her, making a bee line toward the bar.

"is that bitch flirting with you?!" trinity gasps. you groan.

"relax about it, would you?"

"relax!? mom, she's trying to break you and papa sev up!"

"you're so dram-- ew, papa sev?" you groan. "that's the worst one yet."

trinity laughs and pours you a shot. "here. drink."

you down the shot and sigh. "i'm wearing my ring and everything!" you whine. "i-i'm in this frumpy, stinky sweatsuit!"

trinity laughs. "i wasn't gonna say anything--"

you roll your eyes. "it's laundry day, okay?" trinity giggles. "but you're just proving my point. i am not the person to flirt with in this building!"

"sevika did." trinity points out. you groan.

"i looked good that night and sevika..." you trail off, the liquor hitting you and a warm fondness bubbling up in your tummy at the thought of your wife. trinity groans.

"ugh, mom, keep it in your pants."

you snort and roll your eyes. "i didn't mind sevika flirting with me. i mind this. this is awkward and horrible. what do i do?"

trinity shoves another shot under your chin. "drink this and tell her to fuck off. wave the ring in her face."

you drink the shot and cringe, then pat trinity's shoulder. "are you okay? have you taken your break yet?"

she laughs and rolls her eyes. "i'm good mom. let 'er down easy, then tell 'er if she's got money i'll let 'er flirt with me allllll night." trinity says.

you snort and shake your head, turning around to do that.

flirty-pants is leering at you from across the club. you groan, roll your eyes, then march over to her.

"there you are, pretty thing. had me thinking you were runnin' from me."

"right. about that--"

"don't tell me you're fuckin' married or somethin'--" you hold your hand up to show her your ring. she sags. "oh c'mon. that shit's fake, right?"

you scoff. "what?"

"'s a fake ring you wear at work so you don't get hit on."

you blink. "n-no! what the fuck?"

"wait... you're really married?"

"yes. she is."

you cringe and turn around, your wife standing behind you and glaring daggers at poor flirty-pants. you open your mouth to explain, but sevika simply reaches out and pulls you in for a nasty kiss by the front of your frumpy sweatshirt.

you sigh against her lips, letting her hands circle your waist, her leg shoved between yours, her tongue brushing your lips. you moan against her and she hums in response, walking you back until you're pinned to the wall.

"fuck, okay, i get it. sorry." flirty-pants mutters before walking off.

you snort a bit at her words, then reach up to thread your hands through sevika's hair, tugging enough to make her growl.

eventually she pulls away, a string of spit connecting your lips. you grin at her. "well, hello."

she snorts. "cherry waved me down when i got here and told me i needed to 'mark my territory.'" sevika explains. you giggle.

"i was handling it... but your way was a little more efficient."

sevika swoops in to kiss you again, much sweeter and softer this time. "hi, baby."

"hi. how was work?" you ask as you scratch her scalp. sevika purrs in your hold. you nuzzle your nose against hers.

"horrible. think we can leave the girls to fend for themselves for the rest of the night? i wanna take you home and mark my territory some more."

you cackle and kiss the tip of sevika's nose. "yeah, i think they'll be alright."

taglist!

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taglist!!

@sevikas-baby @ghostscandys @sevikasllver @runawaybaby3 @lesbones

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