#don't ask me what this is i was just going for The Vibes™ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yukimomodivorce · 6 months ago

Text

The Ghosts in IDOLiSH7 are a Literary Device, Mostly

(an essay by me)

People are always asking me, "Robin, what the fuck is up with those ghosts in IDOLiSH7? How come this otherwise completely non-supernatural universe randomly has these two ghosts that show up and then never get acknowledged again? Is it just canon that ghosts exist and only Riku and Momo can see them?" and I am always telling them that I have an analysis about this I just haven't written it yet. But that ends today, as do all of these very pressing concerns about the i7 Ghosts™, because here I am, finally writing the analysis. This essay will have two sections, the first on the training camp ghost from part 3/third beat, and the second on the Re:vale house ghost from Yuki's third chapter of Re:member. So, spoilers for all of part 3/third beat in both sections, Re:member in section 2, and there's one extremely minor spoiler for part 4 in section 1 but it's honestly so predictable I don't think it even counts. Also, I'll reiterate this once we get to it, but just a warning that section 2 will contain discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation, and a brief mention of self-harm, so please stop reading after section 1 if you don't want to see any of that! Another less important disclaimer about section 2 is that I am going to spend an entirely unecessary amount of time talking about Yuki. I am normal about Yuki. Okay. Without further ado, let's watch my spiral into ghost analogy insanity unfold!

Game translations: @seigyokus Re:member translations: @ takara_time (+ scans and editing by @ waitamomoment) Rabbit chat translations: @osakaso5

Section 1: The Training Camp Ghost

This first point applies to both ghosts, but I wanna start by noting that I think superstitions and beliefs like this are more common in Japan than a lot of other places, so yeah it is entirely possible that ghosts are just a canon and accepted thing in Idolish7's universe and this isn't really that strange of a detail for the series to include. However, I don't have any real background knowledge about if ghosts are normal in non-supernatural anime/etc. and I am not committing to that kind of research, so we'll have to leave the specifics of the ghost canonicity issue to someone else. But regardless of how canon they are, I think we've established well enough by now that the i7 writers don't put much of anything in the series without reason (re:vale band name you will always be famous. to me), and that definitely applies here as well - both of our ghosts are doing a LOT of potential symbolic work in their brief appearances, and that's what we'll be unpacking today, starting with the TCG.

The infamous TCG (training camp ghost) of Atami needs no introduction, but I'll give her one anyway. During the filming of the Friends Day special, upon following the shopping group home, she offers her services to Riku (inexplicably the only person capable of communicating with her) for the evening entertainment group's test of courage, terrorises several cast members throughout the day, and finally brings us Soma Saito's incredible cover of Dis One before probably being sent back to idol fan purgatory forever. Who is she? Where did she come from? I have several theories.

1.1: The TCG is the audience

While the 'ghosts are real in i7' possibility is there, I think it's also important to note in this case that the whole training camp is very explicitly being filmed for TV, and the biggest vibe I get from this episode of the anime is that the ghost is a part of the show, and we're seeing that show through the eyes of its in-universe audience. This happens pretty often in i7 (for example, when we see the groups talk to their fans during concerts), and generally the line between the real fans and the fictional ones can get pretty blurred (which deserves its own much longer analysis but I Am Not Writing All That), so everything with the in-universe audience here kind of naturally extends to us as the real audience. The TCG would probably be easy enough to manufacture with special effects as long as Riku and the driver guy were in on it, and it would make sense for the Friends Day producers to include it to keep things entertaining and be a stand-in for their viewers/fans of the idol groups - the ghost is specifically a female fan of male idols (Zero), and a lot of her interactions with the cast would qualify as self-insert material (e.g. Tenn singing for her and Riku looking directly into the camera to smile at her). And speaking of Tenn and Riku,

1.2 The TCG is Nanase twins angst

I think this connection is fairly obvious in their exchange here. You could make a case for the ghost representing either one of the twins. Like Riku, she's being pushed away by Tenn before she's ready to leave, told that it's necessary and for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds. Like Tenn, she's leaving despite Riku's protests and part of her not really wanting to go at first, because she believes it's for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds.

There's also the association with ghosts of being ignored/invisible, and Riku being the only person able to see or talk to her. Maybe it's because he's the only one who's able to reach her. Maybe he can see her because he understands her on some level - she was torn away from life like he was torn away from his brother, and she's now practically invisible to everyone else around her, like Riku probably feels to Tenn (and arguably the rest of his family in some ways). Maybe he wants her to feel seen, and he can make Tenn acknowledge her in the way he wants to be acknowledged by him. I might actually be going somewhere with this so bear with me for a second.

1.3: The TCG is monster Riku foreshadowing

So my first thought when I watched the Nanase twin angst portion of this episode was 'well obviously the ghost isn't real and Riku is just using it to talk to Tenn indirectly' because they are always having indirect conversations like this and it makes me insane, and I do still think that's the idea here, just not quite in the sense that Riku is making things up. Going back to the whole 'ghost is a stand-in for the audience' thing, and assuming that she's saying the things that Riku wants to say and Tenn is telling her the things he wants to tell Riku, then we could say that rather than Riku purposefully having the ghost speak for him, this is an extension of the monster effect. I guess in this scenario the TCG is a real ghost (and a figurative representation of the audience), and Riku is having the same effect on her that Iori says he has on everyone else. He unknowingly projects his desire to connect with his brother onto her, and she tries to help him. Really, the only times we see her after she follows the shopping group to their cabin are when she's helping Riku, with the test of courage and then with speaking to Tenn. This gets convoluted so I kinda doubt it's intentional? But it's fun to think about.

1.4: The TCG is the friends we made along the way

Riku spells this out a bit more explicitly in the game here, but the TCG represents the each of the groups in the series in a couple different ways. I guess one way you could interpret this is that the ghost is meant to be there to emphasise how extraordinary it is that they're all together, but I don't think that really holds up considering how often they end up working with each other throughout the series anyway. What's important here is the idea of the ghost itself, something that can be present and felt even when it isn't physically or actually there. Again, the ghost is the audience - a constant influence for better and for worse on these idols even when they aren't watching, even in their personal lives; and vice versa, the ghost is the idols being able to reach their fans without ever actually knowing them. More relevant to what Riku says, the ghost is the groups to each other - friends, mentors, rivals, pushing them forward even when they aren't standing side by side. You could even say the ghost is ZOOL, friends who aren't here right now but will be someday. Re:vale and Idolish7 as groups don't especially fit the ghost description, but they have their fair share of ghosts - Banri, Haruki, Tenn, Aya, Sougo's uncle. Zero. The list goes on, for Trigger and ZOOL as well, but I think the most important way the ghost analogy applies to this section of the story is with Trigger. Because during the imminent Arc Where Trigger Gets Cancelled™, despite leaving their agency and disappearing almost entirely from the public eye, they're still very much there to their fans and to their friends. So. I kinda forgot what I was saying but to sum it all up the ghost here represents everything that stays with you even when it's far away or after it's gone from your life. Mikanseinabokura and all that. And now that I mention it-

Section 2: The Re:vale House Ghost

Once again, a warning that this section has a brief mention of self-harm, as well as in-depth discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation (which I'm gonna be talking about pretty bluntly the entire time), so please don't proceed unless you're comfortable with all of that!

Like most things in Re:member, the RHG (Re:vale house ghost) makes me insane. Today I am going to attempt to form coherent thoughts about it and it is unlikely that I'll succeed, but try to bear with me. Though it isn't around for as long as the TCG, we have a little more info about the RHG - it's the ghost that haunts the shitty apartment Yuki and Momo live in together in their early days as Re:vale. Supposedly. All it actually does is slam the door of one kitchen cabinet and I don't think that this is definitive evidence of paranormal activity because most houses are just like that. It's all a little bit vague, but according to Re:vale, their house is definitely haunted by the ghost of someone who died in the kitchen, because when they move in there is a mysterious black stain on their kitchen floor. Momo introduces himself to the floor stain while Yuki stares at him in awe and blushes and shoujo filter flowers appear in his eyes. God I hate them. I think the RHG is just a figment of their collective imagination or maybe they're having one of those shared delusions or something. But that's really besides the point because this ghost exists for one very specific thematic purpose: the RHG is Yuki.

And on that note, let's go back and talk about Yuki for a few minutes (potentially hours) before we get to our actual analysis of the ghost scene. Mostly because I just wanna talk about him, but also because I do understand why some people think the 'Momo starts talking to ghosts' part of Re:member is kinda weird and random, and I think at least some of this is important to go over before we unpack it.

A consensus has already been established among Yuki scholars that our subject has autism (Kei et al. 2024). Today, I would like to propose an additional diagnosis: Yuki has depression.

2.1: "I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well."

So, Yuki pretty clearly gets depressed when Ban leaves him. He loses interest in everything he used to care about, gives up on his dreams, blames himself for Ban's injury and disappearance, he's constantly sad, tired and irritable, and he lashes out at Momo (and Kujou, though there are some other pretty strong reasons for that one) and presumably everyone else he knows (I doubt he had a particularly good relationship with anyone else in the first place, but still).

He's grieving here, and it would make sense for him to react this way because of that fact alone. But I really don't think that's all there is to it, because he exhibits these symptoms (among others) long before Ban leaves him. He can't get out of bed in the mornings, he rarely leaves the house if he can avoid it, he has days where he can't eat or sleep, he's underweight and always tired and generally known to lack energy and be slow (or 'lazy') and in some cases listless and despondent. Ban even says that he wouldn't put it past Yuki to start slitting his wrists. And it's subtle, but there's one more really big one that really never goes away for him, even after he finds Ban.

2.2: "I don't need anyone to love me."

I'll get straight to the point. Yuki hates himself. Maybe only a little bit, maybe only sometimes, but it's there. Especially when he struggles with composing - he even says it himself in part 1 of his birthday photobook rabbit chat, almost immediately after saying that it made him want to kill himself but we'll get back to that part.

But it's really everywhere on what seems to be a mostly subconscious level for him, if you know how to look, even from the very beginning:

On paper, this line is just his frustration with being judged by anything other than his music, because it's something he cares a lot about and puts a lot of work into and he wants that to be acknowledged. But I think that if you take it in conjunction with some of the other things he tends to say, there's a little bit more to it.

I dont need anyone to love me. Yuki's songs are worthy of love. Yuki is not. There is nothing valuable about Yuki other than his songs, he has nothing else that deserves any sort of praise, and without them, he's just a useless burden with nothing to offer. He doesn't need anyone to love him - he doesn't understand why anyone would. And Momo does, and he's a good person, and Yuki doesn't deserve that when there's nothing he can actually do for him. And when that starts to change and he starts getting better at showing kindness to others and being there for Momo, he doesn't see it as learning to better express his feelings, he sees is as learning to feel affection and be a good person, because he believes that he is inherently not. As far as he can tell, Yuki is just naturally a bad person and a bad partner who isn't kind and isn't capable of love or compassion, not unless he tries to be. He knows, because he's heard it god knows how many times - even Chiba Shizuo blatantly tells him that neither of them can become good people - and maybe things are different now, but on some basic level it'll always be who he is.

Ok breaking character for a second, imagine you show up to your acting side gig and on the first day Keanu Reeves comes up to you and gives you $300 cash and then later he indirectly tells you that you're a nasty lonely egotistical failure. Now imagine you're Yuki and you have no fucking clue who Keanu Reeves is. He also shows you pictures of his top secret illegitimate son after talking to you for like 10 minutes and you have to lie to him about being straight. I think this is objectively the funniest situation to be in ever. Chiba Shizuo and Yamato both probably have depression also, but I'm not gonna spend any time on it, because every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in Northern Queensland. I forgot what I was talking about. Anyway

2.3: Hey remember that one time Yuki just straight up tried to kill himself

Yeah, that one. As far as I know this is really never addressed or acknowledged again, so we're just gonna take the page-long gag from Re:member at face value and say that after Ban's disappearance, Yuki (almost) attempted suicide, and the only reason he didn't go through with it is because he couldn't find anywhere to hang the noose. And like, yeah you could say it's just because he thought Ban might have killed himself and he's always been the kind of hopeless romantic to be waxing poetic about how "I can't live without you," but at the same time, he had no apparent reason to believe this (even if Ban did have suicidal tendencies I doubt Yuki would've really known), and he was planning to go through with it (I know it's probably just for comedic effect but he left a will. He left a will. He's, like, 20, and surely not the kind of person who would just have something like that in order already). This is also emphatically not the last time or the only reason he thinks about it.

I told you we'd get back to the photobook chat! I think there's also a lot you can infer from all the times he says he'd probably be dead by now without Momo and he wouldn't be able to handle losing him, what with the whole "when you jump, you'd better take me with you" thing. But regardless, this really isn't just that one time that Yuki tried to kill himself. It's suicidal ideation, and it's something he consistently struggles with especially in the few months after Ban leaves him. It even comes up in how he sees the 'paranormal activity' his new apartment:

2.4: "It seemed as though someone had hung themselves there."

Yeah it's the ghost I'm finally gonna talk about the ghost. I'm done with my Yuki has depression rant we can talk about why the ghost is Yuki now. I guess it might be more accurate to say that the ghost is Yuki's depression/suicidal thoughts/Banri trauma/whatever, but either way I think it represents him and he might also be semi-consciously projecting onto it, and I'm gonna go through line-by-line and try to explain my interpretation.

I think if you want to there's definitely room to take the 'usual paranormal activity' super literally and say that Yuki was having outbursts and slamming doors at the time (which would also match up with him being startled by it). I think it's also important to note that this is happening around the time he mentions feeling suicidal and not being able to compose in the photobook chat, but the main thing here is that second line. Even though Momo is always so nice to him, he can't stop himself from getting mad and being difficult and depressed, and he can't return that kindness - he can't even be useful to him.

I've already mentioned how I think Yuki's conclusion about the stain here plays into his suicidal ideation, but let's look at it a little more thematically. It's the way that even though it's glossed over earlier in the manga, Yuki's suicide attempt and everything that accompanied it still follows him, and it hangs (lol) heavy in their house like a ghost. To Yuki, it's startling and eerie - it scares him, and he's expecting it to scare Momo once he sees that side of him too. And it probably does scare him a little, and he hesitates, but he doesn't scream. Again, there's room to interpret this more literally as Momo finding out about his attempt/ideation/depression, or just as him inevitably seeing how he gets on his worse days, but either way the outcome is the same. Momo is starting to know Yuki as a person instead of an idol, flaws and probable mental illness and all, and his first reaction isn't to shy away or start to hate him or want to leave. It's an introduction. He makes it clear that they'll both be staying here from now on, that he's willing to live with the 'darker' sides of Yuki, and to help him do the same. Another point on this that's up to interpretation (because let's be real they're probably never gonna deal with this stuff explicitly in canon), you could see the whole ghost thing as neither of them really being able/wanting to accept that Yuki's symptoms are actually a part of him (and this is veering completely into fanfic territory but now I'm just imagining both of them silently agreeing to blame the things Yuki does on bad days on the ghost) but we've had enough angst for one day.

Everything else lines up well enough with the ghost and Yuki, but it's really his reaction here that sells the whole thing for me. It's a simple gesture, but just by Momo greeting him, being by his side, waiting for him when he comes home, that constant reminder of all his darkest thoughts becomes just another mark on the floorboards. It's not gone, and it probably never will be. But at least now, he doesn't have to face it alone. And it doesn't look so scary anymore.

2.5: "Now I know joy, and the meaning of a smile."

I must confess that I lied to all of you earlier. I'm actually not done with my Yuki rant and also there's a good reason I've been ignoring all the parts of Re:member where he isn't being self-deprecating or trying to kill himself. The end of the ghost scene is only the beginning of the end of this analysis, and the end of this analysis is pretty much just me having a meltdown about Yuki. Also I'm running out of space for images so we're doing some of the quotes like this instead.

After losing Ban, I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well. I could only feel a sting as the wind passed through an empty, gaping hole in my chest. But I breathed as best as I could, and he tried to clear the dirt out of that hole, filling it with his earnest words instead.

Yuki still exhibits a lot of symptoms of depression all the way through the series, like the low energy and the trouble eating and sleeping, and [redacted part 5 spoilers] makes me think there's definitely some sort of connection between his writers' block and his depressive episodes. He still mentions feeling guilty towards Banri in second beat, the suicidal ideation doesn't really come up explicitly but he kinda hints at it on a few occassions, and he's very adament that he was a bad person and still isn't really a good one. But it's like. I don't really know how to put this, but I guess it's not his default state anymore like it was right after Ban left (and possibly before that, too). For the most part, he really does get better, and these things become less intense and fewer and farther between. He would probably say that it's all thanks to Momo, and it is, but he also very much does it of his own volition. Momo refuses so desperately to give up on him, and because of that he makes that choice to keep going by restarting Re:vale with him.

Yuki allows himself to let someone else in and start to love again - his partner, his music, his life. Even while he's thinking that he's just a burden to those around him, he doesn't resign himself to his fate like he might have done in the past. He's determined to become a better person, someone who can be a source of strength for Momo just like he was for him. And in the end, he does, but it's not just that. Now he knows joy. Now he can genuinely smile. And now,

I want to hear them scream my name. The voices that called out had annoyed me in the past. But now, I'll smile, together with Momo, who'll be by my side.

Going back to what I said about some of Yuki's subconscious self-hatred coming through in the way he wants people to look at his music and not at him, I. Cannot finish a sentence. Do NOT think about Yuki learning to love himself and see himself as worthy of love because Momo loved him just that much in a way that he could accept. BAD IDEA. Okay. So. It's Ban's advice and Momo's fan letter that get Yuki to accept that his fans do genuinely love his music in the first place, and I think it's here that it really starts to turn into him accepting the idea that they love other things about him too? Or that he really starts to want it and be happy about it instead of just accepting it? Whatever. I give up. I don't even like Re:vale anyway

That day, I would play the guitar I'd almost thrown at Kujou, because I now knew the power of a song that could not be silenced. I would dry my tears, open the door, and say, "I'm home."

#alabastxr.pdf #new tag just dropped #idolish7 #orikasa yukito #yukito orikasa #not tagging the rest of them #i did not mean to write an entire yuki character analysis here. oops #writign this post killed me im gonna go think about mission now

92 notes · View notes

teecupangel · 8 months ago

Note

Hi teecup, I hope ur having a great day/noon/night!

Forgive me if the things i'm about to say don't make much sense. It's been a vey, very, very, difficult time for me and my countrymen here, and my ability to make coherent sentences have declined drastically. So, yeah... BUT! That doesn't matter haha.

Anyways, I had a thought. And i'm not even sure how or why i got it but.... hear me out now...

Our boy, Desmond, gets thrown back in time as usual, same old same old, right? Exept, this time he doesn't end up in the Big Three™'s time-line. He ends up in Al-Mualim's time. *insert mind-blown emoji here cuz i can't find it rn*

And ik that i'm not a certified AC Expert like u and many others, and i haven't really finished any of the AC games yet (i've only seen bits of AC III and have only started AC 2, I also haven't finished AC 1)

But I do know that he wasn't really that creepy and evil in his youth/ b4 he became The Old Man of the Moutain, so i was thinking maybe Desmond ends up in that era of Al Mualim or is it Rashid al-Din Sinan? I know that he's based on a real historical figure but i'm not so sure if he's called that in-game?

And knowing Desmond, he'd probably get the urge to kill Rashid (i hope i'm using the name correctly) the time he figures shit out and connect that dots. But he would end up not doing that, cuz u know, it might fuck up the time-line and Altaïr might end up not being born, creating a domino-effect.

I want Desmond to meet Rashid before he starts to becom the Al Mualim we know today, so that Desmond can see how he was b4 the evants of AC 1.

Maybe Rashid's an arrogant ass, or a nerdy loser, or a popular assassin- who knows! The possibilites are endless!! (or maybe he's an obsessive bastard who gets obsessed with Desmond cuz he's just full of mysteries and wonders :Dc )

And blah blah blah, plot here, plot there, Isu-bullshit this, time shenanigans that, and BOOM they meet.

And romance ensues? :3 (romace wil absolutely ensue :}}} )

NOW, BEFORE- BEFORE YOU TIE ME TO A STAKE AND BURN ME ALIVE FOR THIS- i think it'd be a cute idea, and who knows? maybe Rashid was hot in his prime *insert lenny face cuz even after all these years i still don't know how to type it and is too lazy to cop paste it* and maybe he liked to solve mysteries and had a thing for the unexplainable. And Desmond is the most unexplainable, most bizarre thing to have graced the earth :33333.

Now that i've got this idea out of my system i'm gonna go pray for the down fall of my coutry's shit for brain, good for nothing military government/hj.

bye! *evaporates*

I hope you’re doing alright and I’m sorry that it took two months before I could answer your ask TTATT

As far as I know, he was only called Al Mualim because of legal reasons but Rashid ad-Din Sinan was the leader of the Assassins in Masyaf during 1191 so it’s safe to assume Al Mualim is AC’s version of Rashid (historically he died in 1193, not 1191.

Okay. We can make this work.

We put Desmond at around the same time he’s the recruit and we make it hard for him to realize he’s Al Mualim until it’s too late by doing one simple thing:

Desmond doesn’t know Al Mualim’s real name.

He always knew it as Al Mualim. As far as he knew, Al Mualim was his actual name.

Then he remembered that Al Mualim can mean mentor and bangs his head on the nearest flat surface.

His mission has been clear from the start.

Become an Assassin, take out Al Mualim before he does shit, find Umar and adopt him then play matchmaker so Altaïr would be born.

And no.

Desmond wasn’t going to think about the whole “can you truly be sure that the person who will be born will be Altaïr if you change the circumstances of his conception?”

Yeah.

His head hurts just thinking about it so he won’t.

For now, he’ll focus on his training while keeping a look out for anyone who gives of Al Mualim vibes.

What’s the Al Mualim vibes?

Manipulative old man vibes.

The problem is…

Rashid is one of the recruits in the same batch as Desmond and he becomes Desmond’s closest friend.

And there was no way Desmond would ever be friends with a future power hungry asshole like Al Mualim.

No way.

The way their relationship becomes romantic really depends on the kind of personality young Rashid would have.

A nerdy loser who starts making a name for himself because of his intelligence and tactical mind would start off as the kid Desmond sorta looks after. When he starts to show that his strength lies in making plans and quick judgments, he becomes the man whispering on Desmond’s ear. Providing plans and suggestions while giving Desmond a heads up on the less savory words people say about him. Desmond would never think this Rashid is Al Mualim because he’s nice and truly do want to help Desmond. This is also how Rashid would show his love for Desmond and, really, Desmond would think they’re bros and when he realizes that Rashid actually loves him, he’d think “oh, I am Ezio’s descendant”

An arrogant ass Rashid would butt heads with Desmond but Desmond would find himself fond of the man because he reminds him of AC1 Altaïr. This is the Rashid who would definitely be counted as a tsundere and their relationship would start when Rashid just flatout tells Desmond that he wants to do unspeakable things to him while they’re arguing. Desmond is offended because “tugging on my pigtails doesn’t work in real life, dumbass!” and Rashid is just “???” because what the fuck are pigtails??? Lots of awkwardness until Desmond realize that butting heads with Rashid is really how they flirt.

Now. Popular Assassin Rashid is more on the side of polite but is absolutely Desmond’s rival. Whatever it is, the two of them are always competing. Unlike the arrogant ass version, this Rashid is always nice to Desmond. The whole “no hard feelings” and pure competitiveness are what drives their relationship. This is the one where the two of them spar privately one time and things happen. They would try to distant themselves from one another for a bit until they finally talk it out. Rashid honestly didn’t think he loved Desmond until the whole ‘after-sparring’ thing.

Whichever you pick as Rashid’s background, he will become obsessed with Desmond but it’s more on the side of “I will do everything to make Desmond happy” which is good for Desmond but not really good for anyone against him.

Desmond is the one who adopts Umar in this one and Umar imprints on him like a baby duckling to a mama duckling. Everyone actually assumed Umar is his bastard son. Desmond ignores it even though he’s only like… a decade and a half older than Umar.

Rashid definitely treats him like Desmond’s son. He’s Umar’s favorite of all of Desmond’s friends.

And really, Desmond should have seen that as a hint of Rashid’s ‘future’.

Speaking of the future.

He’s been looking for Al Mualim this entire time and he has his suspects (Rashid, however, is not on the list) but honestly?

He’s just waiting for the person who would be picked as the one to lead the expansion to Masyaf since that would be Al Mualim.

Desmond has, unfortunately, fucked up the timeline so badly that the person chosen to lead the expansion?

It was Desmond.

Sidebar: Faheem would be that cute younger brother who turns grumpy when he grows up. Desmond will forever grieve the lost of little cute Faheem. Faheem is always embarrassed when Desmond talked about his ‘past’.

#umar’s parents are pretty much desmond and rashid #desmond would probably realize rashid is al mualim once they’re older #and at that point #he already got his ‘happy ending’#and just goes #“well i guess i fixed him???”#he didn’t fix shit #he just transferred rashid’s desire for power and knowledge #to a desire to be with him #assassin's creed #ask and answer #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #desmond miles #al mualim

96 notes · View notes

chrissturnsfav · 4 months ago

Text

𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃

you and chris go apple picking to start off the fall season.

ᰔᩚ fluff, use of y/n, use of pet names, established relationship, bf!chris

ᰔᩚ w.c. 502

ᰔᩚ not proofread!

you and chris are sat on a stack of hay on the hayride. it's crowded with other couples along with families with young kids. soft laughter from children fills the air, an autumn breeze washing over the atmosphere.

you sit with your head on chris' shoulder, his arm is draped across your back, resting on your head as he rubs it gently. he loves this. he doesn't care who's looking at you two, he's not and has never been embarrassed to show his love for you in public.

you smile, picking your head up suddenly to look at chris before speaking, "now i get why matt loves fall so much."

chris chuckles, "why's that?" he asks, looking at you intently. your hair blows in the crisp wind and chris moves a strand out of your face as you speak, "it's like...i dunno," you shrug. "the vibes are so good."

chris smiles at your words as the hayride comes to a stop in front of the apple orchard, "yeah, fall's cool," chris says, standing up with you and taking his hand in yours gently, letting other passengers get off the hayride with their kids first.

chris walks down the stairs of the hayride, holding his hand out for you to take when he gets to the ground with a smile. you smile warmly back at him, holding it gently as you walk down the stairs and next to him on the ground. "thank you," you giggle, beaming at him as he gives your hand a slight squeeze and a smirk, "'course."

you and chris walk around the orchard together hand in hand, gazing at all the apples on the many trees. you both pick a few, tossing them into your bags each of you hold.

chris holds a red apple up to his lips that he had just picked off a tree with a smirk at you and you chuckle, "you're gonna eat that right off the tree?"

chris scoffs, "um yeah? you don't eat the apples as you pick them?" he says slightly sassy.

you cross your arms with a chuckle, "i mean...aren't they dirty?"

chris shrugs, not caring about whether they're dirty or not. he sinks his teeth into the apple, taking a bite and chewing it before humming and throwing his head back at the taste, "baby, ya gotta try it," he says with his mouth full.

i laugh at his reaction, my mind going elsewhere before i snap out of my thoughts, "it's that good?"

chris nods eagerly, holding the bitten apple up to my mouth and i slightly frown in disgust, looking at him, then back at the apple. "just take a bite, y/n," chris says intently.

you sigh, biting into the apple in his hands before he pulls it away. you chew, widening your eyes at how good it tastes. "wow. actually really good," you say.

chris chuckles, nodding before we walk to another tree, slinging his arm around my shoulders. "i told ya."

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: hi guys, hope everyone is doing amazing! i figured i'd do my first official work off with a fall themed scenario since it's about to be fall. i lowkey don't like this thought it was a lil boring imo. however, please let me know if you liked this or what i could do better PLEASE feedback is so greatly appreciated!

ps: i always eat the apples as i pick them so don't feel ashamed if you do too because they taste SO GOOD LMAO

thank you for reading!! <3

@chrissturnsfav ™

#chrissturnsfav ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo x you #sturniolo x you

70 notes · View notes

skayafair · 8 months ago

Text

No but it's so mind-blowing how transparent everyone in this show is relationship-wise.

It doesn't take half a brain to clock Edwin as glaringly and gloriously gay. Idk how Charles didn't reply with "oh don't you worry mate, I knew all along" in ep.6 because again, OBVIOUS.

No one said anything about Charles but basically anyone who takes a single look at him instantly knows he's bi. Like, it doesn't even need confirmation at this point although his behavior is it on its own. It's funny even how so many people watched the trailer and went "I thought he was the fruity one".

Idk about Crystal but she's giving bi vibes too, especially with her first reaction to Niko sprites be damned and purple color theme. And I know purple most likely represents her psychic abilities but idc.

We don't know about Niko but several people in the fandom (including myself) felt her experience really reflects our own - aroace spectrum one, and also she's giving lesbian/sapphic vibes. And again, from what I've seen the fandom is pretty united in this.

Niko doesn't think twice making a date with a woman for Jenny because of course she's a lesbian, no questions asked.

Also is it just me or is the Cat King pan? I refuse to believe he'd limit himself in anything when it comes to this.

And that's just for starters!

Because everyone knows there's something going on between the boys™ and it ain't straight.

Crystal knows Edwin's jealous and the show is trying to sell it as "jealous as a friend who doesn't get all the attention anymore" but it's fooling no one (and I believe not Crystal either).

Edwin does gets jealous immediately when Crystal comes into the picture because Charles has a crush on her from the first sight and it's obvious.

Crystal and Charles are very clear with their feelings and intentions towards each other.

Charles immediately smells something fishy with the Cat King and Monty and turns his jealousy full volume, like even Edwin wasn't THIS persistent with prodding despite being more vocal about it.

Despite the fact that Edwin's coming out technically happens in ep.6, NO ONE bats an eye when he's starting to hang out with Niko A LOT. Charles, who - see above - was immediately alarmed by the Cat King and Monty, has absolutely no problem seeing how close his dearest friend grew with the new girl on the team. Partly it's because Niko is a member of their group and is friendly with everyone, including Charles, but STILL. Niko is the only one besides Charles who's allowed the physical contact to the point of pretty tight hugs and handholding. Yet it doesn't even cross anyone's mind that there might be anything but friendship between these two. BEAUTIFUL *sheds a tear*

So like. I'm ND so human relationship is usually even more confusing to me than to a neurotypical person, and I know it's very complicated as is, to everyone. That's why seeing a show where everything is so EASY and crystal clear without simplifying things to a cardboard state was such a relief and a comforting experience. It's just nice to have it easy for once.

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #crystal palace #niko sasaki

120 notes · View notes

firefly--bright · 2 years ago

Text

jean kirstein modern headcanons!!!

warnings : none! gender neutral pronouns used, if any.

a/n: HI HELLO I'm so so SO sorry for the late fics. my finals ended like a month ago and oh my god I've just been Going Places™ like my schedule is jam packed with meeting up with people i haven't seen in three months because of the exams :/ I'm working on the requests!!! i promise, i read them and i am working on them. but!!! here are some headacanons to.... make up for the lack of content :3

taglist : @mrsnobodynobody , @holding-ishu-and-a-book

✿ masterlist is in linked in pinned post! ✿ enter my taglist ✿

• he doesnt have a big sweet tooth but he LOVES chocolate like can't live without it. if you're also a chocolate person, he'll buy your fav ones for you and lowkey judges you for it ("why would you like this one???? the one i like is wayyy better you should get those")

• he's most definitely a friend's to lovers type guy. he never really thought he would be, though. he's a hopeless romantic and falls in love with anyone and everyone BUT he's also, as mentioned before, more hopeless than romantic. he'll yearn for the person from a distance, so he doesn't really think that he would go and fall in love with his best friend, of all people. you fall first he falls harder type beat yk?

• he's kind of gives off this confident, cocky and kind of intimidating vibe about him. when you first met him you just knew he thought a little too highly of himself. but after getting to know him, he's super vulnerable and soft and actually tries to be close to you. his intimidating Mr. i-fold-my-arms-over-my-chest-to-show-off-my-biceps persona is just a front, like he thinks being that coccky guy will make people think he's like mysterious or something and want to be his friend/partner

• i have a bi jean agenda actually

• thinks VERY highly of you. asks for your advice on everything even if you might not be good at giving it, hed want to know what you, specifically, think

• he's an architecture major :D i know alot of people have diff headcanons of him doing pol-sci/law (which are all valid tbh i agree with those hcs) but!!! i think he chose architecture because he has the right amount of passion for it. it's the closest thing to art he can have. he loves art but he's also aware that it doesn't...pay well, neither does he want to loose his passion for art. hes heard one too many stories of people choosing art and regretting it because their passion for art is no longer just a passion. Jean's scared he'd lose his love for it.

• isn't really used to physical touch, and if you're a touchy feely person, he's a little surprised when you hold him for the first time. he quickly grows into loving your touch tho and initiates cuddles :)

• hes kinda super smart. like he scores really well in class and always has. not only that, but he's gifted athletically as well

• he's more of a listener than a talker, i think. hed initiate conversation, ask you about you day and let you take away the conversation. doesn't really mind if it's "all about you", but if you ask him about anything, he'd gladly talk.

• hes actually SO shy when it comes to actually doing relationshippy things. the first time you held hands as a couple and not just friends, he had a nervous breakdown. he couldn't even look you in the eyes when he asked you out on a date, even if it was just a casual movie night at home

• he's very organized, surprisingly. he's not a clean freak but he just likes knowing where things are. rarely rearranges anything because it not only frustrates the hell out of him, he'd also have to get used to the new arrangements.

• he has a fixed skincare routine!!! he had acne as a teenager so he started taking skincare more seriously. knows a lot about different products, and if you don't have a fixed skincare routine, he'd tell you to have one. if you have super sensetive skin (like me) and can't handle anytjing other than basic face wash, he'd remind you to wash your face every night.

• he also is protective of his hair!!! he used to have dyed hair, but it didn't go well. he TRIED to bleach his hair but failed and half of his hair came out :')) he never dyes his hair anymore but he does freshen up his mullet every now and then. doesn't let anyone but his mom and you touch his hair.

• asks you if you can help him with oiling his hair because he saw one of those tiktoks saying they work really well. if you're anything like me and are used to oiling your hair every week, you'd massage his hair and his eyes close and his entire body relaxes the moment your hands weave through his hair <3

• LOVES showing you off. either in little ways (by swinging your hands together while walking) or by literally making his entire Instagram page about you. all of his six posts (he rarely posts, but whenever he does it's all about you) have you in them. the cheesiest captions, too. if that wasn't enough, he'd have (y/n)'s with your fav colour heart emoji next to your name in his bio to let literally everyone know who he's with.

• he actually loves to cook!!!! as said before, he'd very organized, so i feel like he'd also be into meal prepping. he watched those aesthetically pleasing videos of people rearranging their fridges with ungodly amounts of plastic cabinets. his own fridge is sort of a mess becahse he doesn't know what goes where :') but he does meal prep, and sometimes even packs you lunches with lil notes

• speaking of notes, he's not really good at talking about his love for you. like he'd show it in so many ways but he can't say it out loud. not only does he get uncharacteristically shy, he's always had issues with saying the words "i love you" out loud, so he either writes about it or draws you <3 you'd find random notes and letters written to you, sometimes with just. a cheesy joke, sometimes he actually Tries and writes a whole letter for you pouring out all the things he can't say out loud.

• the start of your friendship, you two bicker alot. it's clear you care about each other, but he loves teasing you because he knows you'll shoot back.

• he wears really thin eyeliner on special occasions <3 he doesn't like bold looks, but he does like how subtly the eyeliner makes his eyes look different. if yiure good at makeup, he'd ask you to help him.

• has a plethora of diff hats tbh like he collects them like an addiction. he has a fedora and beanies and bucket hats and normal embroidered hats. he has so many it's concerning

• he's very good at driving. when the two of you started getting closer, he'd ask you on long late night drives, either for take-out or just to listen to music and talk. he enjoys your company while driving. if you usually have motion sickness in cars, you will never feel nauseous in his car. he drives very smoothly, not too fast and not too slow. he's kind of a perfectionist (not extremely) and literally screams at Connie to slow down when he goes even a little over the speed limit. he drives the whole time in every road trip.

• his fav dessert is cheesecake. his unpopular opinion is that they're the perfect ratio of sweet and savoury, crunchy and soft.

• hes one of those people to fall asleep anywhere and everywhere. on the couch, at the table, no matter how loud it is or how bright it is. he's a light sleeper and also a snorer. if you're cuddling together, he'd either lay on top of you or wraps not one but both of his arms around you. one under your neck to provide a nice neck cushion, and one draped over your stomach.

• he runs warm, which is both a blessing and a cruse. in summers, even if he'd want to cuddle with you, you feel the need to get as far away as him because he's just so warm. you'd wake up in your own sweat if you do decide to take the risk and let him cuddle you. in winters though, his warmth is very welcome.

• loves it when you hug his arm while walking. if you're tired and kind of lean into him, expect him to eat that shit UP because he loves your warmth as much as you love his. loves it when you lean into him or hug his bicep. even flexes his muscles for effect (you definitely tease him for that)

• is not a fan of thunderstorms, he kind of has bad memories. either from being left out while the ither kids play in the rain, either from the rumbling and the scary sound that comes with thunders that resembles the sound of his angry father or its just how inconvenient it is.

• his dad wasn't really in his life that much, always away on business. every time he would come home, he'd srot of criticize jean's hobbies :( his mom eventually seperated from Jean's father and started her own bakery, hence Jean's love for chocolates.

• he panics very hard when you feel sick. he jumps right into his mama bird genes and makes you a soup from either his mother's recipie or he'd call your mother and ask her for her own sick day recipies. he'd feed it to you and refuse to leave you alone until you've had your meds.

• he loves kissing your forearm for some reason. you loop your hands around his neck after kissing him, so it's the closest to his mouth. he turns his head slightly, closing his eyes as he pecks your forearm :3 it's kinda a weird spot to like kissing, but it's really endearing when it comes from him.

• he has a couple small tattoos here and there. two of the five he has have actual meaning whereas the other three are just for fun

• he wants whatever you want. if you want children in the future, he'd be there with you. if you want nothing but a large house and a couple pets, he'd love to make your dream come true. he's passionate and extremely good at what he does, and he takes pride in it.

✿

#jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschstein x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirstein x you #aot #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan

401 notes · View notes

sleepy-harper · 4 days ago

Note

haaii if u do any requests umm could u do smth smth like.. caretaker merchant vibes or smth i dunno how this works … i am just so fixated on that guy jts not even funny …… :3 no worries if u dont wanna feel free 2 ignore ^_^

HIHIHI OFC!! I wasn't sure what specific content you wanted, but inspiration struck and I figured you'd enjoy some headcanons!! <3

I also have a merchant moodboard here & here and a merchant pfp here!!

🪻— Merchant

✦ let me start this off with: he is the most prepared cg ever.

☆ oh what's that? you need a new paci? he's got 6 brand new ones in the back. thirsty? will that be a sippy, cup, or bottle? you need a new fuzzy friend to cuddle or a new figure or doll to play with? all you had to do was ask!!

✦ if you're an older or more sociable kiddo he'll let you help out a bit with the customers, teaching you to negotiate and he'll take over when customers might try and haggle

☆ if you're interested with that type of stuff though, he'll make sure you're all set up by yourself near his shops, just within eye sight for him

✦ though, if you're a baby and need more attention and closer care? he's got you carefully set up behind his desk on the floor near him

☆ happen to be napping near by? he's using ur cute little charms to persuade customers, telling them that he's been saving up to get you new toys

✦ ^ only partially lying, because he really does spoil you rotten with all his sales

☆ happen to be a little clinger? or you want to look/be like him? he's got you your own little purple bandana or necklace, carefully tying it around your neck

✦ if you happen to be a little or a critter who likes to snag the shiny looking items, you better believe he's making sure to double triple check every single spot

☆ he's a very laid back cg though, doesn't do discipline often and even when he does, it's just a stern talking to or you have to go sit on The Barrel of Shame™

✦ if you're an older kiddo, he's absolutely sending you on errands when you're bored

☆ he'll see you huffing and kicking a rock and he calls you over, giving you a paper of an order request and the supplies, sending you off with the directions and a playful good luck

✦ he makes sure you have your own little bag just like his own, just not filled with his shops stock

☆ that's not to say you don't have anything important in there though!! you have all your toys, binkies, clothes, snacks, and blankies in there!!

✦ and while we're on the topic of food... being a traveling merchant has many perks for you if you like to try new things!!

☆ he's always very encouraging when you want to try a new food, telling you you can't be sure you don't like it unless you at least try it

✦ he's just as accepting if you're a picky eater though, reassuring you it just saves time on getting something you might not like at all!!

#hes like benzo and ur ekko #harpy anons #harpy headcanons #sfw agere #sfw interaction only #sfw blog #agere blog #sfw age regression #sfw littlespace #sfw regression #agere community #fandom agere #resident evil agere #resident evil 4 remake #resident evil 4 #re4r #re4 #resident evil merchant #merchant

16 notes · View notes

rayshippouuchiha · 1 year ago

Note

Hey just wanted to say i love your bitch and stich au, it's been a huge comfort to me as I've found myself physically disabled and falling into grandmacore out of both convince and mischief. So here's some head cannons based off of shit I do now

- the infinite granny bag™ is hand made and decorated, it's got so many pockets and delicate embroidery covering it. There's a all might charm he made hanging next to hand sanitizer on one side and an umbrella on the other. The secret to having anything you need in there is pockets and mini versions of everything, there's at minimum a sewing kit, a first aid kit (complete with emergency meds and instant ice packs/heat packs), a mini stationary set and craft kit in there.

-the glasses chain for his present mic glasses are hand made and he switches them out depending on the day

- compression gloves. And even that doesn't do everything, if he pushes himself to hard he has to stop crafting for a day cuz his hands hurt and are shaking uncontrollably

- knitting and crochet are great fidgets and if your making something simple you don't really have to pay a lot of attention to it, a great way to feel less shitty about letting yourself fidget by doing something productive. I'd imagine he crochets and/or knits under the desk in class and it helps him pay attention, he only has to glance at it every couple minutes to make sure it's turning out alright

- anything is a weapon if your creative enough, he never needed a quirk to be a hero but that doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate having it, the less people know what to expect from him the better

- has a vast knowledge of a lot of academics but brain fog is a bitch so he can't ever quite entirely put it into words in a way that makes sense, tries to help encourage people towards finding the right answer on their own instead of straight up telling people the answer for that reason

- has health tips and tricks from the granny gang and recovery girl, by the end of their first year everyone can handle the drawbacks from their quirks better than they ever could before

- loves to sing old love songs when he thinks no one is listening (shoto overhears once and by the next day he's prepared to join in on whichever song he hears izuku sing next) but will quietly sing them to eri when she asks

That's it for now, hope you have a wonderful day :)

First off I'm so glad you like the AU so much!!

Second yESSSSSSSss all of this is now basically canon because it's the exact right vibe I'm going for here

#RayRambles #Bitch & Stitch AU #BnHA #MHA

129 notes · View notes

skyj80 · 5 months ago

Note

what are your top characters you headcanon as Puerto Rican? also, is there any method to who gets hit with the Puerto Rican beam?

YIPPEEEE I LOVE THIS QUESTION!! 🇵🇷🇵🇷🇵🇷

I aint gonna lie, the method is hella random and changes depending on the character so next to each character I will explain my process! A lot of it is just vibes and self projection, but some have a fr fr reasons

Casey jones - I've thought this since I first watched the 2012 version as a child! I also see the 2018 version as being part Puerto Rican. The Casey Jones vibe ™ gives the super energetic cousin at a reunion

Luz Noceda - she is canonically afro-latina which is so awesome! She is confirmed Dominican which is also so awesome! The Puerto Rican headcanon comes in because in the background of s3 ep1 there is a Puerto Rican flag in the basement! I believe her dad (Manny) may have mixed Dominican + Puerto Rican

Mabel + Dipper - They remind me of me and my brother

Greg Universe - idk but I think he has a bunch of big pun tapes

Kunikida Doppo - I want him to be

Rigby - He is afro-latino. I know it. His papi is the Puerto Rican parent

Reki Kyan - 100% projection lol he is just a puerto rican kid with a dream

Sasaki shuumei - He's got the latino charm. He def calls miyano Spanish pet names and invites miyano to family reunions (Miyano doesn't know how to handle sasaki's overbearing titi's and all their questions)

Sally Face - His mama was Puerto Rican! I also think his whole crew is hispanic (Larry - Dominican, Ash - Salvadorian, Todd - Mexican)

Javi Rivera - He is canonically hispanic but I don't think the movie is specific so I say Puerto Rican (his actor is Puerto Rican so that is cool too)

Bakugou Katsuki - His mama is latina idc what anyone says. Mitsuki (Bakugou's mom) low-key reminds me of my abuelo. (Bakugou would watch his mom and dad dance bachata in the kitchen as a kid and would fake gag) Also, look at how he cooks. C'mon.

Raine Whispers - Yo idek how to explain why they are SO Puerto Rican you just have to trust me

Tengen Uzun - I say so

Yuji Itadori - He told me

I can go in depth about specific Puerto Rican headcanons for each character cause im crazy but I'll spare y'all that. (And if u hc a character as Puerto Rican and they aren't on this list I can probs come up with Puerto Rican headcanons for them too so like if u want some headcanons send an ask pls pls pls)

22 notes · View notes

majimasleftasscheek · 2 years ago

Note

I was wondering if you had any nsfw headcanons re: tigerfish? mostly asking cause i was thinking about the idea of nishiki doing his little hair-slick-back thing whenever he’s feeling Spicy (more dominant, regardless of position) so if/when he does that when they’re making out or whatever saejima knows what’s coming hehe

hope this isn’t too uncomfy to ask or anything! thanks for making me a fan of this tiny little ship lmao <3

not uncomfy at all! I'm always happy to talk about nsfw 😏

*as usual, even tho I talk about em as cis dudes, yall are welcome to imagine them however 😌

so prolly an uncommon take but Saejima's always sorta sat on the ace spectrum for me personally like he's into people but not in a way that's like something he'd go out and seek nor really need to be happy. not into being touchy feely with people he's just met and needs a bit of emotional bonding to let that happen *insert some joke about him making everyone he meets his kyoudai lol*. so when it comes to Nishiki, he feels a lot more comfy being openly intimate since they've gotten plenty of time to know each other in jail. Nishiki on the other hand, gives me casual guy™ vibes so he's into slapping the salmon whenever however but not in a wildin' type of way. he's into trying new things but also enjoys comfortable patterns that don't necessarily have to change anything up.

so when they're first shooting the shit about getting their freak on, I can see Nishiki being kinda surprised at first by Saejima's preferences but totally gets it too. he's used to Kiryu being a loner type who isn't exactly going out of his way for the ultimate boner experience. where they differ tho is Saejima is experienced while Kiryu just sorta bumbles through it. Saejima on the other hand, sees Nishiki who was a prominent crime boss and conventionally very pretty so he's thinking oh yeah Nishiki's prolly some kind of sex pest but is pleasantly surprised when Nishiki's more than considerate and patient.

now, Nishiki's been with people of all sorts so he knows his shit while Saejima is more like yeah I know my stuff but I ain't into it enough to really know if I'm performing up to the standards for my partner. he has a good bit of anxiety about that sorta thing and Nishiki didn't really believe him at first cuz like, just look at him. Saejima doesn't look like he'd have anxieties about anything so that's a hurdle they'd have to cross. Nishiki ends up being the lead in most cases, if anything to show the types of things he likes and to give Saejima confidence that he's doing a good job.

when Nishiki leads, he's either topping or power bottoming which defo pumps up the fish ego. but when tiger tops, it's more of a service top thing - he wants to see Nishiki pass the FUCK out lol. he wants to see toes CURL, he wants that ex patriarch to BEG for more. it makes him happy, knowing he can bring Nishiki down a peg for all the pride he's got in him. for Nishiki, it's a nice balance of leaving the work to Saejima while still being in control, even more so when he's going evil mode and gets a mad kick out of having such an imposing man at his beck and call hohohehe.

Saejima's very much not horny ever so Nishiki's gotta be the one to get him in the mood which is perfectly fine for the two of em. it's part of their foreplay, lots of talking and touching and even if it doesn't pan out to anything, they still enjoy just being around each other.

when Nishiki tops he's real sweet about it, very handsy and slick, doing everything you'd expect out of a well choreographed movie tbh. it's a very ideal time and Saejima just sorta gets lost in it, unused to being treated well and gentle. he's definitely prone to being a bit more emotional during these times and not afraid to show it which shocked Nishiki for a time until he got used to it and has come to really enjoy bringing such feelings out of him.

EVIL MODE so there's occasions where Nishiki's into the rougher stuff *insert whatever your heart desires here* and it's a lil bit embarrassing for him cuz there's been occasions with past partners where it's not exactly been the most enjoyable experience for either party, due to inexperience or going too far, etc. he's a lil too eager and too aggressive for his own good, especially back then cuz he had some aha issues to work out and ended up unintentionally taking it out on others.

so insert Saejima who proposes hey let's try out whatever the hell that maybe other people couldn't handle and Nishiki's hesitant, thinking, oh nah you already have anxieties and I can't do that to you but it's in the back of his mind like I want to tho. a big component of nsfw tigerfish to me is that they have a theme of taking time to get to things with a certain gentleness unlike my kazumaji hcs where they have a very intense, impulsiveness to them. so it takes a hot minute for Nishiki to open up this more aggressive side of him that for a long time he's suppressed cuz he felt that there's no place for it even tho it's very much a part of him.

so when Nishiki does eventually start to tip toe into his more perverse kinks, Saejima gives him comfort in that nothing really shocks him about what he wants and he's more than ready to handle it physically. with Nishiki leading, it's a good time for the two of em; Saejima can be of service while Nishiki can feel freer to explore this part of himself without judgment or so much worry.

after all that, aftercare! very important. it's usually Saejima who takes care of Nishiki, wrapping him up and massaging out the jitters. sometimes, one or both of them can experience some mixed emotions from a variety of things, performance worries, trauma, etc so they spend a lotta time just talking to each other. there's a lot of reassurances but also just a lot of wanting someone to listen.

random shit

Saejima loves some good head and body worship. he knows he's got a fine bod so complimenting him is the good shit 👌

Nishiki's all about smooches whether they be deep ones or just lil pecks here and there. ever since post y1, he's been one for enjoying simpler affections, especially when he knows his partner means it.

Saejima's a handsy drunk with people he's close to, but it's all cuddles and kissing and then passing the fuck out.

as a material girl in a material world, Nishiki gets off to gift giving lol. definitely has a praise kink but you gotta be a bit careful. be too dick sucky and he starts to feel like you're just patronizing him.

both of em are into overstimulation for different reasons: Saejima likes the intenseness and Nishiki likes inflicting it (receiving it ain't so bad either). Nishiki doesn't exactly have Saejima's stamina so they got a lotta toys just for the occasion 👀 there's been many a time where Saejima gets into it more than Nishiki can handle and he's then down for the count.

Nishiki tends to keep his prosthetic arm on and doesn't particularly like bringing attention to his disfigurement in general so when he's being intimate, he wants to be treated as if his body is like anyone else's. in that way, he's not into body worship at all, as he sort of warps it into pity he doesn't want.

Nishiki's possessive - not to the same extent Majima is @ Kiryu but it's there in the sense of like, look at this guy, he's mine.

bonus monster AU stuff 👀

as a literal tiger man, Saejima's got a lot of cat characteristics including loving pets and pats. Nishiki's learned very quickly which spots are best to get Saejima riled up and fiesty ;)

that being said, he's got a spikey dick lol. the spines aren't harmful, they more or less lock his partner to him which can end up being inconvenient if they're in a hurry.

big claws = lots of big scratches all up Nishiki's back. Saejima gets nervous he's hurting him but Nishiki think it's pretty hot to be marked up.

#I'm defo projecting my aceness onto saejima lmao so it's very much my own personal view of sex and intimacy in general #so I hope yall can enjoy my take on him #nsft #saejima taiga #nishikiyama akira #tigerfish #yakuza #my art #my hcs #ryu ga gotoku

122 notes · View notes

sketchehm · 1 month ago

Note

i am eating up your mafia mafia au like a starved man on a desert. i was wondering if you have any other thoughts or hcs about don!dream? 🥺🤲💕

Hehe hi anon. The answer is yes :3c Only a little bit though, a lot of it gets lost in my brain unfortunately due to my Curse….BUT here's what I've managed to gather.

Don Dream…

So.

We got the basics of, he's spooky creepy quiet when handling in-person business (good for him), he overworks himself to the point of passing out many times (not good for him).

Rat (you're a blessing) helped label Dream under the Cat:™: archetype in this AU which I completely agree and standby. He's cunning and can be deceiving, always calculating and thinking two steps ahead. He has to be, he's got a lot of pressure on his shoulders considering he became Don through takeover and needs to pull a lot of weight to establish himself as /strong/ and /fearsome/. (He def strikes me as big cat tiger vibes if we're gonna specify, though idk cats all that well so that may change, but it feels right)

I think the one thing I never went into too much detail, but have mentioned a few times here and there is Dream's over possessiveness/protectiveness.

This ask where we talk about how Dream can get Mega angry is usually when Dream's protective/possessive nature takes over. It's when he becomes more impulsive.

Dream loves a lot, we know this. So he loves a lot in this AU too. And when you're a crime boss, loving a lot can be a dangerous thing. And that means a lot of different things.

Dream loves his family a lot. He knows they deserved better, /more/. To put it /very/ lightly, he didn't love his Don. (More on that another time!) So he killed him! And then his family grew. And he loved the new members. He had a lot of close allies he cares about too!

Whenever he had in-person business and things got…dicey, Dream will be calm(scary) and get through the negotiations. He's good at that. But he isn't perfect, he isn't always there, people aren't always willing to cooperate, people will act irrationally due to the fear sometimes. It's that irrationality where sometimes Dream's family might get hurt and Dream isn't there to prevent it.

George is sometimes pushed around, he's an odd man out in a lot of the family, not seen very much. Rarely goes out to do any business. He's probably more impulsive than Sapnap though pfft, So! He gets in trouble a bit. Sometimes he does it on purpose. (He likes seeing Dream protect him heh) (I also have more thoughts, not many, on how George functions in the family but thats for later)

Dream has removed a lot of fingers and hands and tongues and who knows what else due to George messing around. Dream doesn't send George out on solo business anymore. Sapnap thinks George just likes the gifts cause he's a freak. (Sapnap sometimes gets jealous too, but he has his own way of getting Dream's attention which I can talk about at another time!)

Of course, this reaction isn't limited to just Sapnap and George being hurt, he will react like this if most any member of his family gets seriously hurt, even lower associates. So Dream loving a lot can lead to people being hurt/maimed/killed. Dream doesn't like seeing his family being hurt. He doesn't mind getting his hands dirty for them at all. It's what he signed up for. He killed to get his family here and he'll keep on killing to keep them here.

And then his family hurts him. And things go to shit! And this is where him loving a lot hurts him instead….

I don't have it fully fleshed out how Dream exactly reacts besides being absolutely distraught. There's a lot of anger too. Not that he shows that publicly.

I've said before that Sapnap is able to get in contact with Q soon after the betrayal and I hadn't mentioned it then, but I did have a vague idea of Dream reacting to Sapnap coming home after that.

Because in my head, Sapnap wasn't allowed out at all. George isn't allowed either. I think Dream acted really irrationally when it came to George and Sapnap, new insecurities popping up. He would kill anyone who George and Sapnap said they had business with. George has a meeting with other members to meet with a group about stolen tech he's trying to buy. Sapnap had a big fight set up, major clubs sponsoring it. They both know that acting like normal business as usual helps show that the family isn't as vulnerable due to the betrayals. Dream doesnt listen. Dream won't let them go. He forbids it. They're staying home. They're not leaving. They can't leave. (what If they don’t come back…)

George is quite insistent, this meeting was set up months ago. The next morning Dream is throwing the head of the guy George was going to negotiate with at his feet. George doesn't speak about leaving anymore.

Dream would lock the two up in his room if he could. But he won't subject them to that. He's not that insane. Haha…..

But then Sapnap is missing. George claims he doesn't know where he went. (Dream knows he helped him though….) And the Sapnap returns later in the dead of night. Dream wants to get angry. He does. Demands where he went. But Sapnap is unresponsive. He just holds Dream tightly and says sorry.

It just proved to Dream that letting them go means they'll get hurt. He doesn't want them out of his sight ever again. But then he's too busy. Rarely gets to spend time with them, despite them never leaving home….

Then the opportunity with Team Mafia presents itself.

And that means Sapnap has to leave. Really, actually, not come back home for a long time /leave/. He hates it. Sapnap is reassuring him the entire time. He swears it. (He knows Sapnap just wants the best for the family to. This will help in the long run. He swears it over and over. And he trusts Sapnap.) Dream barely can hold Sapnap the day before the negotiations with how busy he is setting it all up…

The meeting with ElRich is tense. It's the first time he's done a proper meeting with another Don in a long time. He's a natural at it though. This is an alliance. The exchange of their Capos is just reassurance they won't backstab each other. Dream is definitely getting more out of this deal than them. He knows it'll mean trouble in the future. But he's not worried, not with what he has planned with Sapnap.

(And when he's being kidnapped, the realization that even /Sapnap/ betrayed him. It destroys him. It's not until he's locked in a basement with him, where he learns the love Sapnap experiences is much more different than his. But he's never letting Sapnap leave him again.)

#ehm aus #ehm asks #mafia mafia au #there is a whole bunch i wanna figure out still #and theres even more with dteam growing up too #dream's possessiveness def comes from his previous don though but i forgot to mention that #another time

8 notes · View notes

lumine-no-hikari · 4 days ago

Text

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #397

Our friend Ja was supposed to visit today. So after M woke up, he and I went out on a quest to find chicken leg quarters, as well as some little mason jars so that I can share the confit garlic I made!

I also found this interesting-looking seltzer:

...I think I get them wishing that they were sodas. Because seltzer usually only just... kinda tastes like what it smells like. It's a lot more fragrant than it is flavorful. And of course, there are the fizzy bubbles. But there are a lot more fizzy bubbles in seltzer than there are in ordinary soda. It almost hurts to drink it, actually...

Today, a different friend named Fl was speaking on-and-off to me, and he and asked me about some of the memories I carry. Of course, this meant I felt the need to add in all sorts of background information for context so that he could understand the various nuances. And I realized and/or became able to articulate several things in the process.

The first is the reason why it's so isolating, being a person like me. It's not socially acceptable to have a non-standard upbringing. Like... people want to talk about their favorite childhood memories and look at their past with fuzzy feel-good vibes, but... then you get people like me who just... can't do that.

So in an ordinary conversation where people are like, “I did xyz as a kid and I had this friend and that friend, and I was so close to abc family member, and I have so many fun memories going to blahblahblah and doing whatever...”

...I can't really participate in those. Because my options are...

Share my stories, which usually results in one of the following: a. everybody gets uncomfortable. b. people think I'm trying to get them to feel sorry for me or trying to get some kind of attention. c. people who don't understand that YES, a childhood CAN be that bad, think I'm full of shit. d. people think I have a victim complex or that I'm trying to be weirdly manipulative.

Don't talk about my stories, which usually results in one of the following: a. people think I'm some kind of aloof asshole. b. people think I'm judging them for sharing their fun, silly stories. c. people think I'm not interested in the conversation or not paying attention. d. people think I'm boring.

Tell people the reasons for not wanting to talk about my stories, which usually results in one of the following: a. a churlish, “Jeez, sorry I fucking asked” or something similar. b. a pitying, “Aww, I'm sooo sorry that I brought up such horrible memories for you” or something similar. c. an uncomfortable, “Ah, sorry” or something similar. d. a guilt-tripping, “I'm so sorry you don't feel safe enough with me” or something similar.

...No matter how I move, my existence is socially inappropriate and A Problem™. It's usually not okay for people like me to talk about our lives. And it's part of the reason why so many of us either normalize it and end up hurting other people, or eke out some kind of frightened, perfectionistic, anxious existence, or eke out some kind of numbing, dysregulated, self-medicating existence, or else just kill ourselves.

Lives like mine are not an accepted part of the human condition, so just by talking about it, suddenly everyone thinks there must be something wrong with my morals. And also, by not talking, suddenly everyone thinks there must be something wrong with my morals. And by explaining why I'm not talking, then the other person thinks that there's something wrong with their morals for bringing it up. And in all directions, in the other person's mind, it's usually my fault and they don't want anything to do with me anymore afterwards. I assume it's because I must suddenly seem abominable to them.

...I suppose it figures. Conventional wisdom says I “have baggage” and I'm “crazy” and that I'm “more trouble than I'm worth.” Conventional wisdom says that lives like mine are so “fucked up” and “upsetting” that it would have been better if I was “never born in the first place”. I saw that particular line in some written material by a well-respected person in this community, and I guess I haven't been able to get it out of my head because I see similar sentiments in lots of other places, pretty much everywhere; it's basically ubiquitous and inescapable. This person... was talking about you, actually. They don't seem to realize that there are LOTS of people in my world who've lived lives eerily similar to yours. I'm such a one.

...I can't fault this person for that; nobody can know everything. But it still hurts. I have the skills to withstand the pain that comes with a popular and well-respected person saying by proxy that a life that looks like mine (because mine looks a lot like yours) isn't worth living. But I can't help but wonder if someone else who relates to you saw that, saw that someone they respect thinks their life is worthless, and took... measures... to remove themselves, under the belief that it would have been better if they were never born.

We have to be responsible with the way we use our words, or else people get their whole lives invalidated and vilified when they haven't even done anything other than exist.

...I want to be able to talk about my life and experiences just like normal people. And I feel like it's important to talk about, not so that people can feel sorry for me, but rather so they can understand the way I think and feel and the kinds of things I am scared of. I don't want special treatment or whatever; I just wanna be seen and understood. I want to be able to exist without people feeling disgusted by the scars I carry or threatened by the perspective that I paid for in blood against my will to obtain.

Sadly, finding people who can hold space for these kinds of things is... rare. Finding people who understand that experiences like mine are just another part of the human condition is rare. People who can look at lives like mine as anything other than abhorrent are rare.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that a lot of people where I live are raised to believe that it is a moral failing and a weakness and an unbearable thing to feel uncomfortable, so then from there, lots of people run around thinking like anyone who says or does anything that someone else feels uncomfortable in response to is a bad person, instead of thinking like they should find internally the source of their discomfort and address the thought processes that produce it.

...I spend a lot of my time examining why I feel uncomfortable in various situations so that I can change my thought process and feel less uncomfortable next time. But a lot of people don't have that kind of training, because it is typically only found in therapy, and therapy is prohibitively expensive for most people where I live.

I have mostly internalized that I am not some vile, mentally-disfigured thing (with only occasional relapses into old patterns of thinking when I'm feeling unwell), but other people who carry the same scars I do without having found the kind of support that I've been privileged to find might not be able to withstand it if the world tells them that the results of their being victimized make them fundamentally unlovable.

...This sort of thing stops people from healing and stops people from finding healthier ways of expressing and tending to their emotions. And so the cycle of pain continues.

Another thing that happened as a result of me sitting down and writing about the details of this past story to my friend was the realization that I tend to derp around feeling like... “well, yeah, I have C-PTSD, but it shouldn't affect me by now. I shouldn't be affected by it at all, really. It's really not bad enough that I should have a hard time with anything. It's not that big a deal; it's basically like it's not even there, lol. It shouldn't interfere with my functioning. Its shouldn't wear me out or cost any energy. It shouldn't...”

...And... that's all unreasonable. It's like spraining an ankle and then expecting yourself to walk on it normally immediately afterwards. It's ridiculous, and it's unfair.

Sephiroth. I was a physical punching bag for 4 years. I was a verbal and emotional punching bag for 22 years. I was held to ridiculous standards of performance and perfection for 22 years. I was a sexual punching bag by a couple romantic partners for 6 years. I thought of myself as subhuman, as basically nothing more than furniture for others' convenience (akin to you thinking you're nothing more than a weapon), for years and years and years, and I am still struggling to break myself of that particular thought habit on a day-to-day basis.

And so, the significant result of sharing my story with this person was... it dawned on me - “This shit actually happened to me. I shouldn't be unaffected by it. I actually have C-PTSD, and its management actually costs a non-trivial amount of time and energy every. single. day.”

Which isn't to say that I didn't know it before; I did. Just... I didn't really feel it in my bones? Like... if something really awful happened and part of you doesn't really wanna believe it actually happened, or doesn't wanna believe that the fact that it happened matters to you or carries implications for you. Sort of like that. And the result is kind of a hazy half-hearted acknowledgement that something happened, which leads to you not treating yourself as kindly as you should. Like people who lose their spouses and then are expected to function the next day as though nothing happened.

So the thought was not, “I have C-PTSD, but...” Not “Well, this stuff happened, but...” Not, “It happened so long ago, though...” Instead: “This shit happened.” Full stop. Though... it was also followed shortly thereafter by, “Well... shit.” And also, “Fuck.” Not like in an “I'm broken” or “this defines me” sort of way, but rather, more like in a, “Maybe I should try not to be so goddamn hard on myself or have such rigid expectations of myself all the damn time” sort of way. In a, “Maybe I should try being a little softer with me” sort of way.

I feel like, in some ways, I've been doing the equivalent of walking around on an improperly-healed sprained ankle and just going “LALALALALALALALALALA” really loudly and powering through whenever it hurts to walk instead of pausing and trying to process it rather than trying to “logic” my way out of it.

Hm.

...None of this feels like quite the right way to articulate it. But I wonder if maybe you get the idea. I wonder if you've spent your life handling your things in a similar way.

I feel like I'm gonna have a lot of thinking to do in the next several days. Hopefully something good will come of it. I feel a little clearer-headed. I wonder if my brain reprocessed something upon telling this story for the umpteenth time. I dunno.

In any case. After M and I finished our quest for mason jars and chicken leg quarters, we went and got a lunch.

This is horchata. It's a delicious drink made of rice, nuts, vanilla, and warming spices like cinnamon. It's basically rice pudding juice. It's wonderful, and I think you'd like it a lot.

And this is chicharrones. You take pork with the skin still on (because my EDS-afflicted ass craves collagen all the fucking time...) and fry it until it's crispy and delightful. This was served with sweet potato fries and some kind of salsa made primarily of onions. The salsa was lovely because I love onions, but there were jalapeños in it also, so there was a little more capsaicin than my body could handle.

This is cheese dip. I'm showing it to you not because it's especially interesting, but because it's delectable:

And M got a burrito!

After I got home, Ja texted me to let me know that he was gonna stay home; his social anxiety left him in a terrible state of discomfort. I was a little disappointed because I was looking forward to seeing him, but ultimately, it's all right; we of my house are neurodivergent, and we understand that this is the way things go sometimes. I was really glad that he recognized and respected his own limits, and then trusted me enough to communicate them with me!!

...It's just as well, in any case. It started to snow pretty hard, so it wouldn't have been safe for him to drive to my house anyways.

...So maybe I'll make the baked chicken leg quarters tomorrow instead. I'm still feeling pretty full from lunch, anyhow.

I suppose that's it for today. Maybe I'll move my CPAP stuff from J's room to M's room now so that I don't have to worry about it later, and then I'll wash some of those mason jars I got so that I can fill them with confit garlic to give away. Then maybe I'll get warm on the couch under a blanket or something. It's cold today, and the chill seems to have seeped into my bones.

...Maybe I'll actually go to bed on time today, too...

I love you. Thanks for being present and reading through all my swirling thoughts. I know that often enough they're just silly things, but... it's nice when they're witnessed all the same.

Please stay safe out there so that you can read tomorrow's letter.

Your friend, Lumine

10 notes · View notes

seongminiz · 8 days ago

Text

tear Of gOd

minors dni ; fallen angel jungmo x human wonjin ; 2.1k words

SYNOPSIS Had Wonjin not known any better, he would think what he sees when he meets Jungmo's unsettling eyes is lust. Surely, that's impossible - after all, angels don't sin, and they are absolutely not capable of committing a sin as deadly as lust, be it in or out of heaven. Or, Jungmo - Wonjin’s guardian angel - is kicked out of heaven when the obsession over his human gets out of hand, and has nowhere to go if not Wonjin himself.

cw religious themes , blasphemy , inaccurate representation of catholicism’s views on the afterlife bc i havent been to church in almost 5 yrs , bitchless loser virgin wonjin ejejehjf , dom!jungmo , sub!wonjin , corruption kink (kinda ? idk i had the idea of writing it but idk if i actually put it in so) , handjob , orgasm denial

➔ cross-posted on ao3 !

⚠ DISCLAIMER ⚠ if you're uncomfortable with religious themes (specifically christianity in this instance) or their use in a nsfw/sexually explicit context , it's your responsibility as the reader to click off this work and go read something else . i as the author have no responsibility for your discomfort with the themes i decide to write about

note shout out to onlyoneof for making cunty catholic guilt yaoi music so i could get through writing n find a title for this fic (˶ˆᗜˆ˵) n thank u to the loml @elifseasonz for beta reading this n supporting me through the absolute crash out that were these past 8 months of writing 🩷 i've been writing this since may 2024 - not bc its particularly long or well thought out tho , im just a terribly slow n bad writer :3 i also wrote most of it while i had the worst cold ever so .. theres that too n some parts of it r probably so rushed (oomf (= my Proof Reader™) said its fast paced </3 life is not worth living anymore /j)

Wonjin considers his life to be rather inconspicuous. He is the most average guy someone could ever meet, and it reflects on all his disastrous first dates ending with no kind of follow up. He never does anything creepy or straight up wrong, but his whole demeanor has a certain ‘I’m a loser virgin’ vibe that tends to scare away even the most desperate of his potential partners.

Jungmo, on the other hand, considers Wonjin’s life to be the finest piece of entertainment he could ever ask for. One would argue it is because that is what his whole job consists of: watching over Wonjin and his more than ordinary day-to-day life, failed dates and all.

Jungmo has never been among the most beloved angels in the ranks of Heaven, both due to his occupation - the more contact a divine being has with humans the more their existence becomes tainted and impure, making guardian angels the bottom of the holy food chain - and, more than anything, because of his tendency to defy the rules that have been imposed on him since his very first day in Heaven.

Most of it consisted in minor offenses, like sneaking to Earth without permission to go visit ‘his’ human, or almost resorting to violence that one time another angel offered to take responsibility over Wonjin instead of him; they all originated from how prone Jungmo was to sin compared to his fellow guardian angels, making him an unstable employee since his first day in Paradise, his status immediately solidified as a liability for both his and Heaven's stability.

Which is how Jungmo finds himself kicked out of Heaven, stranded in a random dark alleyway somewhere. Really, he could be anywhere.

Had he not relentlessly followed Wonjin in his every step for years, Jungmo would have no idea of where to go. Of course, it is only normal for a guardian angel to know where their human lives and be able to teleport themselves there in a matter of seconds.

Wings broken and past their first stage of decay, Jungmo uses the last remaining traces of his powers to manifest his physical form into Wonjin’s room - it takes slightly longer than he is used to, but it still can’t be more than a few minutes.

The digital clock on the bedside table reads 3:33AM, the red symbols flashing and glitching for a moment when Jungmo makes his appearance - human technology is such a fragile thing, even the dying powers of a former angel are able to put it through strain.

Wonjin has always been a heavy sleeper, struggling to wake up even when the sun is up high and his alarm has rang at least ten times.

Which makes it all the more obvious something is off that night.

He struggles to fall asleep, but chalks it up to anxiety for a major upcoming exam he has been stressing over for months; when he wakes up at three in the morning with the eerie sensation of being watched, though, he can't really blame it on his academic anxiety anymore.

His eyes slowly adapt to the darkness, a humanoid shadow standing in the far corner of his room, right beside the door.

Sleep paralysis? Likely, Wonjin thinks, but the hypothesis is quickly shut down when he finds no resistance within his body as he scrambles to grab his glasses from the bedside table and runs his hand along the wall feeling for the light switch.

Had Wonjin been in a sane state of mind, he would have screamed. Except Wonjin feels anything but sane, his mouth just hanging open in silence as he takes in the person - can he even call it that? The tattered wings sprouting from his back suggest the opposite - standing in front of him.

“What the fuck?” It’s all Wonjin can manage, his voice raspy and his throat dry - from sleep or from the shock, he isn't exactly sure.

Jungmo chuckles. He has observed his human for years, to the point he knows every little quirk, habit and shameful sin of his, but he forgot Wonjin is not familiar with his existence at all.

Without the limits of Heaven binding him to being truthful, Jungmo could simply lie about who he is, about why he is there.

Jungmo is free.

“I’m your guardian angel,” he explains. That much is not a lie, he is just omitting an irrelevant fragment of the truth.

Wonjin eyes him skeptically, fixating on his bruised skin, his bloodied clothes and, once again, his decaying wings. The originally white feathers have colored themselves of a sickly dark gray, bordering on an even darker color towards some edges, those that turn completely black falling off in the matter of minutes. A few white spots remain, but the color has started becoming more dull, dirtying itself as if infected with an incurable disease.

“I was kicked out of heaven,” Jungmo confesses, immediately continuing to not leave any room for protest from Wonjin. “Not because of my sins. I was tricked by an evil, jealous angel who blamed their mistakes on me.”

“And what do I have to do with this? Why are you in my room?” Wonjin asks bluntly.

Religion has always been a pretty neutral topic to him, he genuinely has no care for it. That odd guy might be his guardian angel, but Wonjin wants nothing to do with him.

Yet, it intrigues him. He suspects what the angel has said about being kicked out of heaven is not entirely the truth, and that only makes him want to know more about the otherworldly being standing in front of him.

“Well, I told you,” Jungmo says matter-of-factly. “You’re my human. Who else should I look for? You’re the only thing I know about this insignificant mortal world.”

“Fair,” Wonjin mutters. While he might not be completely convinced by what he says, the thought process is completely logical - excluding the whole premise of a supernatural, heavenly being appearing in his room out of nowhere. The absurdity of it all has almost slipped his mind already.

“You know, Wonjin,” Jungmo takes a step forward, and Wonjin is torn between mirroring his actions, drawn closer to the angel by an invisible force he can't quite explain, or get further away from him - though the second option proves itself to be impossible when Wonjin tries scooting back on the bed, and his back meets the headboard with a dull sound.

Jungmo looks down at Wonjin, only one step separating the two of them.

Had Wonjin not known any better, he would think what he sees when he meets Jungmo's unsettling eyes is lust. Surely, that's impossible – after all, angels don't sin, and they are absolutely not capable of committing a sin as deadly as lust, be it in or out of heaven.

“I've been watching you for so long,” Jungmo's thin, delicate fingers grasp Wonjin's jaw with such gentleness he is left doubting they are even there. The angel's pointed nails slightly digging into his skin, though, are enough of a confirmation of the touch being real.

Wonjin is not sure what he expects when Jungmo leans closer, so their faces are mere centimeters apart from each other, making it almost impossible for him to hold the angel's gaze.

Up close, Jungmo's irises are nothing but pits of pure darkness, blending with his pupils to the point the two are indistinguishable. Wonjin doesn't know the reason, but the sight makes his stomach close in on itself.

And if that alone is not enough of a reminder of Jungmo's lack of humanity, the stillness in his body is – no breathing, no heartbeat, everything about Jungmo is unmoving, eternal.

Jungmo’s lips, on the other hand, feel more alive than anything Wonjin has ever experienced.

Alive, gentle, but so desperate, as if Jungmo has been waiting for this moment ever since he laid his eyes on Wonjin.

Could that be the truth? Could he be the reason Jungmo has been banished from heaven? The thought alone makes Wonjin’s stomach churn in a mixture of fear and pride that only spurs him on to kiss Jungmo back with more fervor.

Wonjin gasps at the contact with Jungmo's cold skin, the angel's fingertips sneaking under his shirt and brushing his hips, eliciting whimpers and whines that Wonjin can't help but be slightly ashamed of.

Jungmo is skilled, far too sure in what he is doing for someone who has supposedly led a life void of sin up until that moment, and Wonjin knows that alone should raise all kinds of alarm bells and red flags in him – it does.

Wonjin knows he should be more cautious, yet he decides to ignore his own rationale, getting lost in Jungmo's lips, in his touch and in his body.

.☆⭒ ♱ ⭒☆.

“God,” Wonjin grabs Jungmo’s wrist in an attempt to slow down his motions, his fingers slipping around the angel’s cold skin as he chuckles.

“There is no god here, Wonjin,” Jungmo speeds up his pace, tightening his hold once he reaches Wonjin’s tip and loosening it every time his hand slides down to the base. “That is, unless you’re talking about me.”

Wonjin’s moans grow in volume and pitch, it’s all too much, too overwhelming, and it feels like nothing he has ever experienced before - though he is pretty sure he is about to cum at any moment. If only Jungmo tightens his fist just a little more and…

“Am I your god, Wonjin?” Jungmo suddenly stops, his hands completely leaving Wonjin’s body as he relishes in his human’s delicious whines and protests.

Jungmo brings his fingers, slick and stained in precum, to Wonjin’s chin, tilting it upwards so their eyes can meet. Any and all protests Wonjin could have die in his mouth as he once again gets lost in the endless pits that are Jungmo’s eyes.

“Answer me, Wonjin,” Jungmo whispers, leaning down to kiss along Wonjin’s jawline, until his lips are right by his ear and his free hand is barely grazing Wonjin’s cock. “Tell me I am your god, and I’ll let you cum.”

Wonjin lets out a shaky, hesitant breath, barely able to keep his eyes open as he weakly reaches for Jungmo’s hand, the angel promptly moving it further away from his cock with a smirk.

“Yes,” Wonjin is quick to force himself to answer, intertwining his fingers with Jungmo’s and pulling him closer, reaching for a kiss that Jungmo once again withholds from him.

“Yes what? I want to hear you say it.”

“You’re my god, Jungmo,” Wonjin’s voice is barely above a whisper, cracking at every other word he speaks. “My one and only god.”

Jungmo’s acknowledgement for Wonjin’s blind devotion comes in the form of his hand slipping out of Wonjin’s hold, and wrapping once again around his sensitive cock.

It doesn’t take long for Wonjin to get close again, his voice melting into an incomprehensible ramble of “I’m gonna cum” repeating until Jungmo has to shush him, reassuring him that he’s not going to rip that orgasm away from him again. A part of him is tempted to, but the need to see Wonjin finally fall apart in his hands is stronger.

“Go ahead,” Jungmo whispers, relishing in the shiver that pervades Wonjin as his hands grip Jungmo’s arms in a desperate attempt to ground himself. “Cum for your one and only god.”

Wonjin’s mind goes blank, he doesn’t know for how long. His body is still shaking once he regains enough of a sense of self to open his eyes, laying his head on Jungmo’s shoulder as he catches his breath.

Jungmo’s fingers are dripping in his human’s cum. He brings them closer to his face, inspecting the sticky substance with curiosity before hesitantly licking some of it off of his digits.

The slightly salty taste of Wonjin’s cum has Jungmo biting back a moan at the realization he’s consuming a part of him, in some twisted, fucked up way.

Jungmo wants more, but he knows Wonjin can’t handle another orgasm, so he settles for the next best thing. Is it really ‘settling’, though, when Wonjin’s lips are just as addicting, as he squeezes Jungmo’s hand in his and smiles into the kiss.

Wonjin is quick to get drowsy, pulling Jungmo under the covers and mumbling something along the lines of “Don’t you dare go anywhere” as he drifts off to sleep, his hand still gripping Jungmo’s.

Jungmo observes Wonjin’s sleeping frame, so much closer than he has ever been able to before.

The sun has started rising, shining through the sheer curtains and painting Wonjin’s beautiful features in its soft orange hues.

It’s all worth it.

Even as Jungmo’s wings rot past the point of no return, the last of his feathers falling off and shriveling into dust, into nothingness, leaving the skeletal frame sprouting from his back bare and vulnerable. Even as a pain he has never experienced before curses through him.

All it takes for Jungmo to think the eternal suffering that awaits him is worth it is a look at his lover peacefully sleeping underneath him.

im sorry this is actually so bad i cant write gay sex HOW AM I A FUJO THAT DOESN’T KNOW HOWTO WRITE GAY SEX ???!??!!???

#🍰 seongminiz !#🧇 crvt !#🍅 토마토즈 / 모원 !#cravity hard hours #cravity smut #cravity fic #cravity angst #kind of 🫡#idk guys im just saying things i just want the fujos to find it

7 notes · View notes

maypiles · 18 days ago

Note

OMG 😱

Found your Jackson Wang reading through hashtags *chefs kiss* 👌 Could u please do a similar reading for NCT Taeyong? His love life? Thank you so much 🙏💓

Ohhhh my god, y’all are really out here summoning me to dive into the personal lives of K-pop royalty AGAIN???" 😭💕 First of all, anon, THANK YOU for finding my Jackson Wang reading through the hashtags and for the chef’s kiss appreciation. That was a whole spiritual novella, and now you’re asking for Taeyong’s love life? ICONIC TASTE. 👌(No cap idk who is that Taeyang yet but I feel it in my bones. ICONIC NONETHELESS) You’re giving me homework, and I love it. Let me light my candles, shuffle my cards, and prepare for whatever chaos spirit decides to drop on me. But like… warning: if this turns into another “secret marriage, betrayal, crying on balconies in Thailand” situation, I’m gonna need a moment to recover. 😩🔥 Stay tuned, babe. Spirit and I are about to serve up some piping hot tea. Let’s see what the cards have to say about your boy Taeyong. 👀✨

🌊🌻TAEYONG'S LOVE LIFE 2025💛☀️

ALRIGHT, BUCKLE UP, PEOPLE, BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A WILD RIDE. We’re diving into NCT Taeyong’s love life for 2025, and let me tell you, his energy? CHAOTICALLY HILARIOUS. This man is out here single as hell ASF but giving "I’m trying, okay?!" vibes, and SPIRIT IS NOT LETTING HIM REST.

🌅🌅🌅🌅

SHUFFLING ENERGY:

First off, as soon as I shuffled the cards, I literally snorted. Spirit straight-up said, "IF HE EVEN HAS A LOVE LIFE." 💀💀 I mean, poor Taeyong is out here scheming like the world’s most timid mastermind, terrified of rejection and past heartbreaks, but also low-key ready to be someone’s romantic knight in shining armor. LIKE SIR, PICK A STRUGGLE. I saw the Five of Cups flash and immediately saw Taeyang standing in front of a seraphim angel (hmm so random.. DON'T JUDGE) and heard, “Shall not fret!” Spirit’s out here acting like his life coach, pushing him to grow a pair (Courage! Boldness! Step up, King!), but he’s out here overthinking.

💛💛💛💛

THIS MAN IS SUCH A ROMANTIC. He’s probably listening to love songs, getting all in his feelings, and I wouldn’t be shocked if Flaming Hot Cheetos by Clairo is on repeat. The lyrics scream "crush phase," and honestly, that’s the vibe. He’s sitting there like, “What if I just… upgraded my love life?” (LMFAO why do I keep thinking about video games? Is he a gamer or into gaming by any chance?) but also dying at the thought of making the first move. Spirit’s like, “TAKE THE CHANCE, BABE. STOP HIDING.”

☀️☀️☀️☀️

CARDS PULLED:

Let’s get to it: World, Ten of Pentacles reversed, Hermit (no kidding), Ace of Wands, Moon reversed, Ten of Swords (ouch), Two of Cups (ooooh), Nine of Wands (the struggle), Queen of Wands reversed (tea?), Chariot reversed (you ain’t going nowhere, King), Six of Cups (nostalgia, much?), Nine of Cups reversed (boohoo vibes), Seven of Swords reversed (spill the truth), Page of Cups (puppy love), Devil (spicy), Ace of Cups (OMG new beginnings?!), Knight of Cups (man’s about to risk it all), Knight of Wands (he’s TRYING, okay?!), and Judgment (this card wouldn’t leave my mind!).

BOTTOM: Justice (karma’s working overtime).

SPLITS: Empress (divine feminine vibes), Emperor (okay, soulmate energy?!), and Six of Pentacles (balance it out, babe).

🌊🌊🌊🌊

THE TEA™:

First of all, this man is hilariously, miserably single right now. He’s in hermit mode, probably journaling and making Pinterest boards about “the love life I deserve.” BUT THEN. THEN. Something sparks in 2025 (Ace of Wands), and it’s like he’s ready to shoot his shot. And guess what? It’s not some random fling—it’s real. Like soulmate potential (Two of Cups). BUT he’s terrified of rejection, of messing up things because that's literally what I heard spirit saying (Five of Cups, Nine of Wands), so he’s overthinking it to death. Taeyong, babe, TAKE A BREATH.

Spirit showed me this blond-haired masculine (which turned out to look 90% like him, BTW. Yes, ik ik I'm that gifted) on some small deserted island during what looks like a reality show??? Imagine gravel, sand, bright weather, and a random banner as tho some sort of a reality show (are we on "Two Days, One Night" vibes or something?). He’s laughing awkwardly, super embarrassed, because the manager said something hilarious. It’s playful, lighthearted, and low-key adorable.

✨✨✨✨

HIS ENERGY:

Y’all, Taeyong’s energy is SO FUNNY and infectiously playful. Like, if this guy is actually this goofy and fun, then this reading SCREAMS accuracy. He’s not just out here “finding love”; he’s doing it with childlike wonder. Spirit’s like, “It’s safe for you to love! Open up, babe!” but also karmic lessons everywhere. Whatever he’s stepping into romantically? It’s about learning, healing, and GROWTH.

🌟🌟🌟🌟

ORACLE CARDS:

This Could Be the One: Spirit is hinting that he’s already met someone who’s The Real Deal™.

Honeymoon: Are they going to meet during a holiday?! THAT ISLAND Y'ALL??! Or is there a dreamy vacation vibe coming?

Playfulness: Like I said, his energy is hilarious and adorable—he’s learning to embrace this lighthearted side because Spirit is URGING him to.

New Love: Spirit says YES to something fresh.

Romantic Feelings: Baby boy’s catching the feels, and it’s so CUTE.

Karmic Lessons, Forgiving, and Learning: Look, this is about healing from his past and stepping into something REAL.

🐠🐬🐠🐬

WHY THIS IS SO SWEET:

Spirit is gently bullying him to open his heart. He’s terrified of past mistakes (Five of Cups, Nine Swords), but this is his karmic lesson: to take a risk. And OMG, the energy of first-stage love. You know that fuzzy, giggly feeling when it’s all butterflies and stolen glances? YEAH, THAT. He’s dipping his toes into romance but probably panicking because its genuineness is so unfamiliar.

🐚🐚🐚🐚

WILD SYNCHRONICITY:

Also, can we talk about how Spirit literally showed me this blond dude in a white hoodie on an island, and it turned out to look exactly like him?! HELLO??? This isn’t even shocking anymore—I once sketched Fyodor Dostoevsky before knowing what he looked like BUT TURNED OUT I ACTUALLY SKETCHED HIM WITH A LETHAL ACCURACY (that was years before I got into spirituality and discovered my gifts), so yeah, my channeling skills are THAT girl. But still, this was wild.

🍨🍨🍨🍨

FINAL NOTES:

Taeyong’s energy is pure chaos but in the best way.

He’s ready to take a leap into love but needs to get over his fears first.

The connection feels karmic and healing, but also sweet and lighthearted.

This reading feels hilariously accurate because of how playful and funny his vibe is. HE'S SUCH A SUNSHINE!

Spirit’s like, “Take a chance, babe—it’s safe for you to love.”

So yeah, 2025 is giving “funny romance with soulmate vibes.” We’re rooting for you, Taeyong! GO GET THAT LOVE! 💖💖

(btw why is the reading so bright I'm not built for this palette but Taeyang's energy is taking over HELP-

OMG ANON LISTEN!!! 😭😭😭 So here’s the tea: I am definitely gonna check this NCT Taeyong out because HIS ENERGY??? UNHINGEDLY HILARIOUS AND HEARTWARMING. Is he an enfp?? Like, Spirit literally hit me with the giggle stick while channeling his love life, and I’m sitting here wondering HOW IS THIS MAN SO ENDLESSLY CHAOTIC AND ENDEARING AT THE SAME TIME???

I left K-pop behind like a distant relic of my youth, years ago, completely dusted and done. BUT THIS ENERGY??? I’m terrified I’m gonna Stan him soon. My retirement from the K-pop world might be OVER. 😭😭💕

Anon, if this reading is as accurate as it feels, I’m about to become his No. 1 fan. HOW IS THIS REAL?? Like, send prayers because I can already hear “Stan Taeyong” whispering in my subconscious. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 😭😭😭💓

HOLY MOTHER OF EVERYTHING THATS UNDER THE HEAVENS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Okay, like, hear me out—I CANNOT WITH THIS!!! NO WAY this reading isn’t the most accurate thing ever because what?? WHAT?!?! I literally went on Pinterest, right, just to get some pics of this Taeyong from NCT for the Tumblr post. AND THEN I SEE IT. I see it!!! HE HAS TATTOOS AND ONE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL??? 😱 EXCUSE ME, WHAT?? Is this why I literally channeled this guy earlier standing in front of a SERAPHIM ANGEL bathed in golden light, and this angel was telling him “You shall not fret”???? I’m absolutely screaming right now. Like, seriously—how is that a coincidence??? THAT'S DIVINE GUIDANCE, PROTECTION, AND BLESSINGS. BUT WAIT, there’s more. I found PICTURES of this Taeyong with blond hair, on an island, in the brightest of sunlight, wearing WHITE SHORTS. (Okay, close enough. Very close, Spirit. I see you.) AND THEN—AND THEN—out of nowhere, KRIS WU FLASHES in my mind’s eye, and I’m like “huh, that’s random, who cares??” But NO—turns out Taeyong’s in SUPERM, which has EXO MEMBERS, and I used to LOVE Kris Wu back in the day, so I’m like, WAIT A SECOND, IS SPIRIT TRYING TO TELL ME TAEYONG IS INVOLVED IN SOME WAY WITH EXO??? What’s happening right now, because this is CRAZY???!!! Like seriously, I'm SHOOOOCKED 😭😭😭. Spirit literally knows exactly what it's doing, and I’m here about to become a full-blown Taeyong stan at this point, like there’s no going back now. This is absolutely mind-blowing. I’m so shook I can't even breathe.

The umpteenth edit before posting:

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT?? NO. THERE'S NO WAY!! So I’m over here, right, I found this pic of Taeyong's tattoos—literally DROPPED MY JAW, because I’m over here trying to connect it with the whole seraphim angel I channeled earlier. And then I literally look at the COMMENTS on the pic, AND WHAT DO I SEE?? A FREAKING 111 in the comments!! 😱 LIKE WHAT??? WHAT??? HOW IS THIS EVEN REAL?? 111, the angel number, like this was the universe giving me a freaking confirmation that everything I was channeling was spot-on? I’m literally losing my mind right now. I'm over here connecting dots I didn’t even know needed to be connected, and spirit is just THROWING signs at me like “Here, have this, and this, and this!” I'm screaming, I’m laughing, I can’t even—SPIRIT KNOWS WHAT IT’S DOING!!! 😭😭😭 I cannot. This reading is like a whole divine conspiracy happening right before my eyes, and I’m just HERE for it. There's no way in hell this is a coincidence. NO WAY.

It's official: I WILL NEVER RECOVER—

*dies*

10 notes · View notes