#don’t stay away long enough for me to be brave about cleaning them in between the killing

[boomerang109]

the best part of having spiders in my home is that im so incredibly normal about it. so incredibly normal

[wardenparker]

Surprising Reunions, part 2

Joel Miller x Dieter Bravo x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Rating: E for Explicit! 18+ Word Count: 13.9k Warnings: As always, plenty of cursing. It’s spicy times, everyone! MMF threesome, biting, praise for everybody, hair pulling, oral sex (f and m receiving), exhibitionist/voyeur tones, rough sex, anal play, anal sex, unconventional lubricants, MM sex, virginity mention, begging, fingering, mention of infertility, vaginal sex, unprotected sex Summary: As the night goes on, things between you, Dieter, and Joel intensify, and the depths of what remains between your husband and his first love becomes clear. Notes: As unexpected a pairing as this story has, I really have to say how much I love them. We started out wanting to write some simple smut and fell deep into a pit of feels -- and I’m very glad that we did.

Read part one here!

From the doorway both men hear you huff in amusement before you appear, clearly having heard the last thing your husband said. “I was going to come see how you’re making out, but it looks like you took over cooking.” Still, you don’t step into the doorway but rather lean in the frame. “I set Ellie up in the bathtub in our suite so she can wash up before dinner. Clean clothes, a little fire to keep the water warm. Enough soap to feel human again. Just what she needed.”

“Thank you.” Joel offers, swallowing slightly with unease now that the two men aren’t alone. It wouldn’t be the first time that Dieter embellished the truth slightly. “I, uh— I have no intention of causing problems.” He offers.

“There’s no problem to cause.” You shake your head at him, glad to see that your husband has cleared the air a little. “Dee has always been capable of loving more than one person. I certainly don’t hold a grudge or anything against you for it, that would be a little dramatic. He’s perfectly capable of loving us both.”

“I— love?” Joel frowns in confusion, looking at Dieter, and then back at you. “Like— still as in right now?”

Dieter looks at you pleadingly, as if you could rewind time thirty seconds and stop speaking much sooner, and you grimace. “Shit…” You murmur, looking between them. “I thought…sorry, baby…”

“I didn’t want to say it and freak you out,” Dieter admits. He rubs the back of his neck with one hand and looks up at the ceiling with a sigh. “But yeah. Like right now. Like…always.”

“I didn’t know.” Joel admits, glad that he’s cleaned his hands and steps over to where his former lover is standing, mortified. “It’s okay. I’ve— I’ve never forgotten you. I always thought it was normal to love your first…everything.” While Joel had kissed another girl first, Dieter had everything else. Every experience was wrapped around him.

“Now you know why I made you my freebie.” Dieter mutters, red-faced but not upset. If he were brave like you or Joel, he would have just come right out and said it.

“I don’t mind that at all.” Joel admits, glancing over at you again. “How do you feel about it now that you’ve met me?”

“I think he downplayed the sexy, gruff, and strong thing a little.” Leaving your doorway, you step into the kitchen to come stand with Joel and Dieter. “I’m not expecting you and Ellie to move in and build a perfect little family with us or something, but I’m glad to see that you still care about him after so long.”

“I do care about him.” Joel can admit that easily. “I’ll always care about him.” He leans his hip against the counter and crosses his arms. “Enough to suggest that if you want to leave, you can come with us and find a settlement.”

You were never going to bring it up. It wasn’t going to be a topic of conversation or even something you wanted to think on while Joel and Ellie were at the hotel. But the fact is that the time may not be too far away when staying here is no longer viable. “We’ve been doing our best for so long. Leaving here is actually a fairly daunting idea.” Daunting. Terrifying. But you know that if Dieter looked you in the eyes and said he wanted to stick with Joel, you would pack up and follow.

“I understand that.” Joel does, especially since you’ve been here for twenty years. This is your home. “I get that. And if you want to stay here, I can – I can make sure that I find a place that would accept you and come back.”

“I’m not saying we wouldn’t leave.” You’ve talked about it, of course. If you and Dieter do anything, it’s talk through things — and fuck. But that’s not important right now. “I’m just saying it would be a longer conversation than the three of us standing around the kitchen.”

“Absolutely.” Joel agrees quickly. “And it’s a conversation you should have. The road isn’t easy. I won’t sugar coat it, it’s hell. And dangerous.”

“Tonight could just be a chance to relax?” Dieter offers, looking up from the pan of potatoes that he’s just put on the stove. “Maybe you guys could…get to know each other?” The tone in his voice is hopeful. After all, you’re the two most important people to him in the world.

“That’s up to your wife.” Joel murmurs, staring at you intensely. “Do you want to get to know me?” He asks, voice dropping down a few octaves unconsciously.

“Sounds like you want to get to know me.” You shoot him a smirk before looking over at Dieter. He wants this, you know he does, and it’s not as though you’re not attracted to Joel. Being married doesn’t make you blind. When your eyes track back to Joel, he’s still watching you with intensity. An intensity that makes you shiver with anticipation. “Kiss me.”

Joel’s eyes flicker over to Dieter and he can see the way the man is practically vibrating with excitement and anticipation. Looking back at you before he pushes off the counter and slowly approaches you, watching you for any sign of reluctance as he closes the gap between you.

Brave is a word that Dieter uses to describe you a lot. You’re never quite sure if you agree with him, but right now you would go with curious before anything else. Joel means so much to Dee that you really have wondered what - if any - relationship you would have had with the man. Now that you’re about to find out, it’s making your heart beat faster than you expected.

Joel reaches out and takes your hip with his hand to tug you closer to him. “Hopefully I don’t disappoint you.” He hums, wishing he had cleaned up before, but it’s just a kiss. He’ll clean up before anything else happens.

It’s on the tip of your tongue to say that you’re not worried, but the closer he gets the more any words at all stick in your throat. His hands on your hip and yours on his shoulder are the connecting points that pull you into each other and a mere second or two later your eyes have slipped shut as you press your lips to his.

The first kiss is always a good indicator of how compatible Joel will be with someone. The feeling is smooth, easy, the way that you open for him. Making him groan at the softness with a hint of neediness.

He’s the same height as Dieter but feels broader somehow, more like he’s going to swallow you up if he puts his arms around you just right. Firm and yielding all at once, Joel seems to lean into the moment once it starts and you tilt your head back a little more to let him explore. You know that Dieter’s dual voyeur and exhibitionist tendencies are enjoying the hell out of this, and you have to admit – the way your pussy bottomed out at the first moan from his throat is a very good sign.

It’s been a long goddamn time since he’s done anything like this. Anything that feels almost taboo, which is hard when you’ve lived twenty years past the end of the world. He doesn’t rush, but he deepens the kiss, licking into your mouth to taste you just as thoroughly as he had Dieter earlier. Comparing the flavors of the two of you in his mind.

He’s more assertive than Dieter is, exploring rather than coaxing, and reeling you into him with purpose. There’s want there, and it draws a moan from the back of your throat that you can just imagine Dieter is already desperate to hear again.

Joel’s hands are always eager to touch. Sometimes in anger or fury, sometimes in comfort - though that is rare - but now, he wants to just touch you. To fill his hands with your flesh and explore the dips and swells of your curves. He presses further into your space, nearly crushing you to him as his hands start to wander, and you wind yours around his shoulders. There’s something simmering here, something new and gorgeous and dangerously like a spark.

Another small groan, another sharp inhale. Joel cracks an eye open to find Dieter inching closer, practically salivating. He breaks off the kiss and hums. “Remember how we said we would share a woman one day?” Joel asks. “Think she wants to be shared?”

“She loves to be shared.” Dieter nearly chokes on the words, reaching for both you and Joel and digging his fingers into each of you equally. “It’s how we slept together the first time.”

“You’ll have to tell me about it.” Joel groans. “Although, I want to fuck you again, pretty boy.”

“You’re the only one who gets to call me that without getting a dirty look.” Dee has leaned in fully and looks about ready to devour both of you.

“Well…” you smirk. “You are giving him a dirty look. Just dirty-sexy instead of dirty-upset.”

“So we eat, I clean up, and once the kid passes out…” Joel smirks. “I want your wife to sit her pretty pussy on my face while you suck my cock.” He tells Dieter with a wink.

Dieter groans, crushing his lips to Joel’s momentarily before turning and doing the same to you. His approval of the idea is obvious to both of you, and you don’t hesitate to cup his growing hard on over his pants just to feel the way his hips jerk forward in your hand. Joel chuckles quietly, amused that Dieter is still so eager, even at his age. Sex might have been his first addiction if he were to sit down and think about it. "Then you can tell me what you've been imagining all these years."

“So much.” The gravel in Dieter’s voice is like a promise to you. You’re so familiar with it and how exhausted you’ll be once he’s satiated when that voice happens, that you know you have to step back right now or you’ll get too eager.

“Come on, boys,” you have a hand on each of them. “We have a meal to cook. Otherwise we won’t have the energy for all of Dee’s fantasies.”

“He’s always had a good imagination.” Joel chuckles and takes a step back himself.

“Always.” To that you can absolutely agree.

“Something you both love about me,” Dieter points out, and goes to sit at the counter again to let himself calm down. Having a hard on when the kid comes downstairs wouldn’t be good.

“So fish and potatoes?” Joel asks, needing to concentrate on something else himself. “It sounds good.”

Onions and mushrooms are also produced, and eventually the fish bones are simmering in water to make a stock with some spices and what is cooking on the stove when Ellie re-emerges is a decent smelling fish stew. There’s nothing exotic about it but it’s hearty food, and the three of you seemed to have calmed down measurably - now amiably chatting about favorite books when the teen comes through the doorway.

“What’s going on?” She demands, eyeing everyone. Joel is never this happy and he’s smirking. “Did everyone kiss or something?” She needles playfully. “Waiting for me to go to sleep?”

“The boys are having fun reminiscing.” You tell her, glossing past the question. “Do the clothes fit okay?”

“They’re good.” Ellie shrugs but she looks down at the T-shirt she’s wearing. “What’s Linkin Park?” She demands, not placing the phrase.

Joel snorts when he looks up and you bite your lip in amusement. “They were a band,” you tell her. It’s a good opportunity to steer things away from intimate conversation. “What kind of music do you like?”

Ellie shrugs. “Haven’t heard a lot of music. The shit FEDRA made us listen to in school sucked.” She rolls her eyes.

“I’ll teach you how to use the gramophone while you’re here.” The old machine had been stored up in the attic untouched and undiscovered for years. When you had finally gone digging up there out of sheer desperation for something new it was an amazing discovery. “One of the people staying here was a record collector, so there’s lots of things to listen to. Although…no Linkin Park. Mostly older stuff.”

“So they played…rock music?” Ellie’s brows shoot up in interest. “Cool.”

“Why do I feel like you would have a metalhead on your hands if she could?” The smile you flash Joel is measurably softer than when you had looked at him earlier and you hope Ellie doesn’t poke. She’s an observant kid.

“Could you imagine this kid at a concert?” He asks, shaking his head in amusement.

“Mosh pit.” Dieter nearly cackles. “I can see this kid in a mosh pit.”

“She would be throwing elbows for sure.” Joel grunts.

“What’s a mosh pit?” Ellie frowns at being talked about in front of her face. “And why am I throwing my elbows at people?”

Dieter and Joel chuckle together and Dieter decides to answer this one. “Everyone gets into a big group and the dancing gets violent as they listen to heavy metal. Bouncing up and down, crowd surfing, head banging.”

“Beating people up to music?” Ellie makes a huh sound of consideration and shrugs. “Sounds like you guys all needed better hobbies. But I bet the music was good.”

“Wasn’t my style, but it had its moments.” Joel tells her fondly. “Especially if you were in a bad mood.”

“Probably better than the old man music you played in Bill’s truck.” She hops up on her stool from earlier and retrieves the water glass she hadn’t quite finished. “Old dudes with guitars singing about horses and stuff.” Ellie explains to you. “Boring.”

Joel sighs and rolls his eyes, amazed that teenagers never seem to change no matter what. “Yeah, you could have kept reading the magazine.” Joel snorts.

“Blegh.” She pulls a face, looking around the room and realizing that she is the only one present who had no interest in naked men whatsoever. “So…food smells good.”

Joel can’t help but chuckle at the horrified expression before she changes the subject. “It does.” He murmurs. “And you look clean, for the first time in a long time. Maybe even can sleep in a real bed tonight.”

“Absolutely. She’ll have her own room, not just her own bed.” Something that is all the more helpful, you think, considering the debauched shit you’ll be doing down the hall…

Ellie snorts and sends you a look that clearly says she knows what you are up to. “Hopefully far away from you guys.”

“Hey, look at that, Ellie volunteered to set the table for us.” You laugh when she groans and direct her to the stack of glasses, silverware, and bowls that you amassed while not talking to - or making out with - the guys.

“Who sets tables?” Ellie huffs under her breath, aware of what it is. As she has mentioned to Joel several times, books are still a thing. “Why? Everyone’s just grabbing food anyway.”

“Sometimes it’s nice to do things the old-fashioned way.” You scoop up the stack of low bowls and sweep her out the door at your side. You’ll do it with her, then. That’s fine. It’s just nice to pretend things are a little closer to the way they used to be tonight.

“You’re gonna show me how to do it?” Ellie asks, grabbing the other things and hurrying after you. Most adults barked orders or acted like she should just know. Joel didn’t, unless it was yelling at her about being safe.

“The hotel used to do it a fancy way, but I can show you how my mom taught me at home.” She’s a sweet kid, and in general you always liked kids. It’s just a damn shame that they can’t have childhoods for the most part anymore. Everyone has to grow up right away in the world the way it is now.

“That’s cool.” Ellie relaxes slightly, frowning as she watches you fold the cloth napkins. “You— in the kitchen, you said something.” She ventures after a moment. Looking down at her own napkin to fold it like she had just watched you do it. “You said everyone in that room was – you know…queer?”

“Yeah.” It was true, no use beating around the bush about it. “Do people not use that word anymore? It’s been a long time since I talked to anybody about it but my husband, so I’m sorry if it’s offensive.”

“No, they use it.” Ellie reassures you. “I just— you’re married to Dieter. Does that mean you— you’ve been with women too?” She’s hesitant to ask, but she’s gotta know. It would be nice to talk to someone who doesn’t have a dick about things like this.

“Ah.” Sitting down in one of the chairs at the round table you’re setting together, you turn to give Ellie your full attention. “Yes. That’s exactly what I meant. Did you…want to talk about something? Or ask me something?” You remember your own sexual awakening and coming out as painstaking and awkward at the best of times. You can only guess what kind of hell she’s had to go through.

“Not now.” Ellie glances back at the kitchen doors as if Joel and Dieter will come rushing through. “Just— uh, maybe sometime before we leave? If that’s okay?”

“Absolutely.” Without hesitation, you give her shoulder a squeeze and go back to folding napkins like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “How about tomorrow we go for a walk and we can talk about whatever you want?”

“That would be cool.” Ellie brightens considerably and shoots you a grin. “Really fucking cool.”

It only takes the two of you a few more minutes to get things set up and then Joel brings the pot out from the kitchen with Dieter trailing behind carrying a ladle and pitcher of water like the master of ceremonies. “Dinner is served!” He announces with glee.

It’s been a long time since they’ve had a hot, fresh meal and Joel is grateful for it. Smirking as the kid immediately plops down in a chair and eyes the pot hungrily. “Thank you.” He offers. “For sharing with us.” You didn’t have to, despite the history between him and Dieter and he is grateful.

“Friends are few and far between these days.” Dieter shrugs his shoulders as he starts to portion out the stew. “It’s nice to share with people we care about.”

All of you know that it’s still generous but Joel just nods and sits down beside Ellie. “We’re gonna stay for a couple of days.” He tells her. “Rest up.”

“We’re gonna go for a walk tomorrow.” Ellie reports cheerfully, pointing at you with her thumb before she digs into her dinner.

“Just around the grounds.” The last thing you want is for Joel to worry. Despite his insistence that the girl is only a responsibility, he clearly does worry about her. “We won’t wander. I promise.”

Joel hesitates for a moment, watching you and finding that you have every intention of being safe. He nods. “That’ll be good.” He offers, taking the water pitcher from Dieter. “Sure, you can talk about things we don’t understand.”

“There’s plenty we don’t understand.” Dieter snickers. “They’ll have tons to talk about.”

“Never said I was a genius.” Joel grumbles, aware of how many things he doesn’t know.

******

As simple as the meal is, it’s satisfying and delicious. Ellie wants to listen to music after eating so you show her the gramophone and records while Joel and Dieter clean up, and two hours after sitting down to eat the four of you are climbing the stairs to the habitable suites on the fourth floor. It’s worth the climb for the promise of soft beds and warm fires, and Ellie happily retreats to her own set of rooms to light a fire and sift through some books that she pulled out of the mail-slots-turned-bookcases in the lobby.

Even if it’s lukewarm water from buckets in the kitchen, Joel groans at the feeling of scrubbing soap into his skin. Closing his eyes and sighing as he lathers up his entire body to sluice off after doing so, the kitchen drain working as a shower for this hasty bath.

You would be lying if you said you weren’t a little nervous, but Dieter flits around the room like an anxious new bride. He’s made the bed, cleaned up his bedside table, and washed his face all while yammering endlessly to himself. “Hey.” You stop him when he passes by you at the fireplace the fourth time. “We don’t have to do this, ya know. If it’s too much, I mean. We can just sit and talk tonight.”

“I’m nervous.” Dieter admits, sighing like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. “It’s Joel and I just— I want it to be what I remember. What I’ve wanted every time I was with another man.”

“It’s not going to be exactly the same, baby.” This is one of many times that you’re grateful Dieter has never had trouble opening up to you. Twenty minutes into your relationship or twenty years, he had always been honest. “You’ve both grown up a lot. But that means you can have new experiences with him now, and that is its own kind of wonderful.”

“I know.” Dieter bites his lip. “I just – he knows how I feel and it’s just – I never thought I would actually get to have the two people I love together.” He confesses.

“It’s not like we could just call him up and invite him over.” The world as it is has made a lot of dreams obsolete or impossible, so you can understand that Dieter had just put this thought aside entirely. “But I love you so much, baby. And I’m going to do whatever I can to help make tonight good for you, okay?”

“I want it to be good for you too.” In a perfect world, he would have you and Joel curled around him every night. Making him the middle of a very sexy sandwich.

“I’m not worried about that.” You always enjoy yourself in bed with Dieter. It’s a given fact of your relationship, as well as any time you’ve had someone else in your bed. “I think we’ll all have a good time, but the key is to relax, baby.”

“Too bad he didn’t have any of that hydro with him.” Dieter pouts, hating that there’s none of his supply on him. It would have been fun to get high with the two of you tonight.

"Do you want to grab a bottle of moonshine, Dee?" There's some of it on the bar in the front room of the suite, and social lubricant - so to speak - might not be the worst idea in the world.

“I’ll go grab it.” Dieter lights up at the idea and rushes to kiss your cheek before fleeing the suite to rush downstairs to grab the bottle. You watch him go with a soft shake of your head, wondering if he remembers that there are some in the front room or if he'll go all the way downstairs to the hotel bar and end up bringing Joel upstairs with him in the process.

Dieter bypasses the front bar and bounds down the stairs with an eagerness that defies the aging joints of a man over fifty years old. Wanting to have a few sips of moonshine and relax with you and Joel, let things come naturally so everyone has a good time. He needs this to be good because he feels complete in a way he hasn't in a long time.

“It’s me!” He calls as he passes the kitchen where Joel has been washing up and changing his clothes. “Getting booze!”

“I’m done.” Joel is probably more relaxed than he’s been in a long time. A pair of sweats and a t-shirt, probably Dieter's, is all that he is wearing and it’s almost cozy in its lazy appeal. The building is secure and it’s almost like he’s on a vacation.

“Everything fit okay?” They’ve always been roughly the same size, but Dieter is still nervous when he pops his head around the corner to look in on Joel.

“Yeah.” Joel chuckles. “You like baggier clothes at the end of the world. But at least everything breathes.”

“I liked baggier clothes before the end of the world.” Dieter grumbles. “Damn stylist is the one who had me in the other shit.”

“You looked good in it.” Joel hadn’t obsessed like some might have, but if he saw Dieter on a magazine cover, he picked it up and thumbed through it. Mainly while waiting to buy his and Sarah’s groceries.

“You old softie.” The grin on Dieter’s face is unrepentant. Going for humor instead of sentiment has always been his best armor. “You looked at the glamour shots?”

“Hard to miss them when your ass was plastered all over the place.” Joel grumbles, even though he’s smirking at his lover fondly. “You always were an attention whore.”

“Again, I went to Hollywood.” The exasperated hand that Dieter waves is just for show, he can’t help but smile at Joel. “I don’t know why anybody thinks I’m not super fucking aware of myself.”

“Because you act like you don’t care.” Joel murmurs softly, always able to see Dieter for who he is. “You act like your life depends on it.”

“Only one other person can do that, ya know.” He huffs and waves for Joel to follow him out of the kitchen. “I came down to get a bottle from the bar. Let’s go upstairs.”

“Lead the way.” Joel grins at the way Dieter blushes and seems almost demure as they make their way towards the stairs.

“There’s…” he swallows, working to cover his nerves, and studiously watches his steps so he doesn’t trip going up the stairwell. “There’s no pressure.” Dieter murmurs. Despite what he wants more than anything, no one is going to enjoy themselves at all if they feel forced.

Joel’s chuckle can only be described as dirty as it echoes in the stairwell. “I might be old, but there’s still plenty of pressure.” He teases, reaching out and touching the small of Dieter’s back. “But only the kind that will go away once we are all exhausted and sticky.”

That image earns him a low groan from Dieter, who speeds up his steps measurably to get upstairs that much faster. “Get up here,” he grunts when Joel lags behind.

Joel chuckles and there’s still a smirk on his face as he reaches the landing for the fourth floor. “Old, remember?”

"You're barely older than me." Dieter tangles his hand in Joel's with a grin, tugging him along the hallway to lead him to the correct suite.

“Yeah, but I feel older.” Joel grunts, grinning at how eager he is to get to the room.

“There you two are.” Sitting by the fireplace with a book, you look up when the suite door bursts open, admitting the men you’ve been waiting for. “Did the stairs get the best of you? Having what is essentially a fourth-floor walk-up is kind of a bitch sometimes.”

“Not as bad as forty-fucking-three floors in Kansas City.” Joel snorts. “Kid called me a lazy ass and I was just trying not to die.”

“Forty-three?!” Both you and Dieter shudder at the thought. “My knees hurt just thinking about it.”

“So….” Joel looks around the suite, surprisingly tidy for Dieter and nods. “You’ve set yourself up well here, I’m impressed.”

“It took a long time. And the people who were here with us at first helped a lot.” Your book goes back to the little table that you keep beside your chair at the fireplace and you stand up, stretching along the way. “Ellie’s all set up down the hall. She’s got plenty of firewood for the night.”

“Good.” Dieter looks like he’s about to have a heart attack, or tear someone’s clothes off. So Joel decides to act, taking the bottle of moonshine from him and pulling the cork out of it. “Any good, Black?” He asks before he puts the bottle to his lips.

Dieter is about to say that it could be a lot smoother when Joel nearly chokes coughing on his first taste and all three of you burst out laughing, breaking the tension completely. "This batch was made with some crab apples," he explains when Joel looks at him like he's just been poisoned. "It's not exactly applejack, but you get used to it."

“Jesus.” Joel chokes out, slapping his chest and wheezing slightly. “That’ll wake your ass up.” The burn of it slides down his throat and warms his belly.

"It's a sipping drink, as they say." Dieter jokes, affecting a snobby tone.

"No, baby." You take the bottle from Joel and knock back a swig. "This is a shooting drink."

Joel takes the bottle back and takes another swig, handling it better this time because he’s expecting it. “Your turn.” He grunts, handing the bottle back to Dieter.

It’s not a competition but Dieter still manages the burn far better than either you or Joel, putting away a few solid swigs before handing the bottle off again. “Feels exactly like high school again when you start the night off with cheap, strong booze,” he jokes.

“We did drink a lot of that shit.” Didn’t hurt that his parents could never remember what they had drank and what they hadn’t so the liquor cabinet had been replenished when they were actually home.

“Sounds like you two had a far more interesting time as teenagers than I did.” You take a long drink from the bottle and pass it back to Dieter. “All I remember is pop quizzes and dances I never had dates for.”

Joel snorts. “I was a jock.” He reminds you. “Baseball. And for some reason, people liked me.”

“People still like you,” you remind him gently.

Dieter huffs. “He’s always been like this. No way he’s about to start believing it now if he didn’t then.”

Joel snorts and shakes his head. “You’re one to talk, Dee.” He huffs. “Now, are you going to kiss me, or do I need to kiss your wife?”

“I thought about it.” As if he could think of absolutely any-fucking-thing else, and he rubs his hands together eagerly. “You two should get better acquainted. I already know I want to fuck both of you.”

Joel chuckles and turns towards you. “What about you, honey?” He asks, voice dipping low as he looks at you, “Would you kiss me?”

“Is that your seduction voice?” The theory itself just amuses you, since he does not have to try that hard. “Come here, Joel.”

Joel frowns slightly, unsure of what you mean and comes closer just like you asked him to. It’s endearing, how literally he takes the direction, and you reach for his hand to pull him in closer to you. This time it’s your fingers digging into flesh and you closing the distance between the two of you slot your lips to his.

There’s been one person that Joel has kissed in twenty years besides the two of you today. He groans, letting you take control and guide the kiss where you want to take it. Wanting to see what had enthralled Dieter. To see if their taste in women ran parallel.

It's not necessarily that you're so confident tonight, but your curiosity is overwhelming. This is the man who has held a piece of Dieter's heart for more than thirty years, and now that you've met him you find that jealousy doesn't enter the equation. You and Joel are vastly different people with just a few key similarities, and there are also vast differences between Joel and Dieter. But still, somehow, you find just enough parallels for him to draw you in. The soft panting coming from Dieter's direction as you start to lick into Joel's mouth as you deepen the kiss doesn't hurt, either.

There had been so many times while they were young, horny teenagers, that they had imagined something like this. Thinking that it was impossible but dreaming of finding a woman who didn’t mind their attraction to men as well as her. It seems like a culmination of those far-flung fantasies and if he just gets tonight, or maybe a few days, Joel wants to make the most of it.

The first sound from you is a low moan, and it vibrates through you like the heat of the fire – going so deep that it gets right down to your bones and wraps around you along with Joel's arms. He tastes like remnants of dinner and the sharp zing of homemade liquor, but there is a quality to Joel that is entirely his own that is nothing like Dieter's essence. Joel is musky and deep and overtly masculine in a way that is surprisingly enthralling.

Joel hears the low whine that comes from Dieter, making him open his eyes and peer over at him. There’s a hunger, a desire burning in his lover’s eyes. The two people in front of him are ones he cares about and wants to see together. Joel’s hand slips under your shirt to span your back and unclip the bra you are wearing.

His hands are absurdly large and warm, and you groan when he pulls you in to work the clasp of your bra. It's an intoxicating feeling - you love being undressed - and in turn you slip your hands under Joel's borrowed t-shirt to slip it over his head. It's a shame you have to break the kiss, but it takes you barely a split second to dive back in again.

There’s a huff off to the side and Joel chuckles into your mouth. If you aren’t careful, Dieter will be standing naked when the two of you break away from each other. Just to hear you moan, he cups your tits and squeezes them.

“Harder.” Dieter instructs, when you moan softly at the extra attention. He knows exactly how to touch you like second nature, and he knows you need more. “She likes it rough.”

“I can do rough.” Joel growls as he pulls away and bites your jawline. His hands grow firmer, fingers twisting the tipped peaks of your breasts harshly.

“Fuck.” There’s nothing delicate about how Joel touches you now, and it’s perfect. You arch into his touch and feel Dieter step around to frame your back: fingers digging into your hips as he grinds his already hard cock into your back with a needy groan.

“Mmmmm.” Joel feels Dieter press close and his hardening cock twitches. “You like that, sweetheart?” He grunts, pinching them again. “Want me to bite them?” He doesn’t give you time to answer, just pulling back to duck his head down and wrap his lips around a nipple.

Dieter strips away your shirt and tosses your bra aside along with it, wanting to watch how eagerly Joel buries his face in your tits while the fire warms all of your skin. Reaching for each of these men with one hand, being sandwiched between them makes you feel positively petite. It doesn’t matter whether you’re large or small compared to other women - between these broad men you might as well be the daintiest women in the world.

Joel does as he’s promised, biting and then soothing. Groaning around your breast when your fingers twist into his hair and you tug gently.

“Fuuuck — that’s it, Joel. Shit.” Whining at how good it feels, your fingers pull a little harder at his hair and reach behind you to pull Dieter closer. He’s nipping at your jawline but you’re aching for a kiss.

Despite the no nonsense, gruff exterior he gives, Joel loves praise. He likes giving a partner, a lover, what they need. He does it again, shifting to kneel down more and switching to the other breast.

Breaking away from your husband, you gasp and moan a little, looking down at the man currently trying to suck your soul out through your nipples. “I think I hit a nerve,” you tease, moaning again at the scrape of his teeth. “Both you boys like praise, huh?”

“Where do you think we got it from?” Dieter gasps, jerking his hips forward and groaning in response to your fingers brushing over his cock. “Joel loved hearing how his cock drove me crazy.”

Joel’s answering groan vibrates through your skin and you whimper at the sensation. “I’ll have to re— oh my god, Joel — remember that.”

Only when each one of your nipples is puffy and perked up as much as they can get, does Joel start to kiss along your chest. Down your navel to dip his tongue into your belly button.

“Lean back, baby,” Dieter encourages, wrapping his arms around your torso to cup your tits in his hands. “Let Joel finish stripping you. Let him see that gorgeous pussy.”

Joel hums, knowing that any pussy that has kept Dieter enchanted for this long has to be magical. That was one of Joel’s hang ups, he had never known if Dieter had been…bored with him. Since he had just kind of stopped communicating after getting to California.

If he can’t smell your dripping pussy by now you’ll be shocked, but you do as Dieter orders and let Joel take over completely. His pace and his appetite will dictate how things go at least for now, because you’ve never found a reason to stop a man from eating your pussy if that’s what he wanted to do.

There's something to be said about leaning in and smelling a woman's cunt. Joel leans in, pressing his nose to your curls and inhaling. Appreciative of the fact that you had access to normal bathing practices and humming as his thumbs slide through the protective layer of hair to find the slick nub of your pleasure to press his tongue to.

Your hips buck slightly and you gasp, making Dieter chuckle darkly behind you. “That’s it, honey,” he rumbles in your ear. Both of his hands might be on you, but your husband has you caged to his chest and fully exposed. “Let Joel play.” Your knees buckle, and you might have just slithered down to the carpet if it weren’t for Dieter holding you up. Joel stares up at you as his tongue makes the first pass, wanting to see your reaction and gauge what you like.

“Goddamn.” The feeling of difference, of newness has you shivering as Joel laps at your folds. It’s been years since anyone besides Dieter touched you and Joel has a completely different air about him than your habitually submissive husband. Dee loves to serve – Joel doesn’t seem to be the same way.

Joel pushes deeper, grabbing a thigh and pulling it up over his shoulder. His knees ache and his back is protesting, but he will stay right here as long as is needed to pull you apart and leave you floating on a cloud of pleasure.

Your quick pants and curses seem to be the right brand of encouragement, because as soon as he has your leg draped over his body, Joel is a man on a nearly unhinged mission. His tongue seems to unfurl so deeply inside you that he might taste your whole being and not just your cunt. He feels the hands on his shoulders and hair, tugging, coaxing and urging him on. Listening to Dieter groan and you moan up above him. Watching the darkness of both of your eyes spurring him on.

The way Dieter had your arms pulled behind your back became moot the second he decided that playing with your tits sounded like more fun than keeping you still, and you rake one hand through Joel's wavy locks to spur him on while reaching for your husband with the other. Dieter's hard cock is pressed against the small of your back like if he tries hard enough he might be able to fuck you there, but it's your hand that he gets wrapped around his pulsing length instead.

It's amazing that he still remembers the exact sound that Dieter makes the moment someone touches him. It's whiny and needy, deeper than it had been at nineteen and more confident, but still the sound rips through Joel and makes him groan into your cunt. Reaching behind you, letting go of one of your ass cheeks so he can slide his hand up Dieter's thigh blindly.

Dieter moans - loudly - at the firm touch of Joel’s callused hand grasping his hip, and frantically tears away his jeans to give both of you full access to touch him anyway you want. You may be tangled up in each other, but that’s no reason not to reach and touch and feel. It’s filthy and decadent, taking Joel back to a time where only pleasure matters. Nothing about survival was even remotely a thought and he loses himself in the sensation.

You’re all one mass of bodies and entangled limbs until Dieter shifts his weight and you nearly topple, turning one of your own moans into an unsteady giggle. “Maybe we should get in bed?” You offer, not wanting anyone to end up with an accidental injury out of a threesome. Plus, none of you are young anymore. Joel’s knees must be killing him.

Oh so reluctantly, Joel pulls his mouth away from your sopping wet cunt, smacking his lips and he rumbles out a small chuckle. “He is always so impatient. Good to know it’s not changed.”

“In some ways I don't think he's changed much from your Dee at all.” As much as you hate to lose the gorgeous feeling of Joel’s talented tongue lapping through your folds, you know you’ll get it back in just a minute. Crossing the room to get in bed isn’t exactly a long journey. But you flash your husband a grin when you take his hand. “Or maybe he’s been our Dee all along?”

Dieter flushes, unable to deny that. Buried deep, relegated to that ‘first love’ rosy view, he’s never stopped wanting this and now it’s here. “Lay the fuck down, I’ve dreamed of sucking your cock again.” Dieter demands, his own cock bobbling heavily as he rushes over to the bed.

“Bossy.” It’s endearing because it shows how much Dieter has wanted this, and you nudge Joel onto the mattress. “Come on handsome. Plenty of room for me to sit on your face while Dee gags himself on your cock.”

It’s a rush, stripping down frantically in anticipation of touch. Nearly trembling and the hard exterior he presents to the world is crumbling under the weight of your want. Finally laying down, he doesn’t know who to reach for, so he grabs both of you, dragging you both up for a kiss.

The messy, needy moment is a clash of tongues and teeth punctuated by muffled moans, and Dieter grasps at Joel's arm to pull him that much closer. He practically crawls on top of his former - current - lover and pulls you in with him. What Dieter still feels for Joel is complicated and deep, and he wants to know if somehow you might have some of that inside you as well. If it could ever grow.

Joel’s fingers sink to Dieter’s hair, his other hand wrapped around the back of your neck to keep you from pulling away. Greedy for you both and unwilling to let either one of you out of his grasp now that he has a taste of you together. Even if lazily making out wasn't one of your favorite things in the world to begin with, it would be with Joel. If his hand had crept its way between your legs instead of rolling your nipples tightly between the pads of his fingers, you might just stay here indefinitely.

One more kiss is all Dieter can take before he is breaking away with a gasp. “Fuck Joel.” He whines. “I need- fuck, just lemme taste you again.” He leans in and bites your shoulder. “His cum always tastes so fucking sweet, like yours.”

“I think I promised he could keep eating my pussy.” You grin, leaning in to kiss your husband before throwing Joel a teasing wink. “I think our lover should be so pleasure-drunk by the end of the night that he forgets his own name. What do you think, baby?”

Dieter groans and nods. “God, baby, I want to ride his cock again. Isn’t it so pretty?”

“Do you want to ride it more than you want to suck it?” Dieter tends to get greedy when he has options and you love the little pout on his lips when you finally pull away from kissing Joel. “It’s a very pretty cock. Maybe you should do both.”

“I’m going to fuck both of you.” Joel promises, groaning at the thought.

“We have plenty of time,” you remind both impatient men, though you don’t protest when Joel reaches for you to pull you up and swing one leg over his face so he can groan into your pussy. “We don’t have to do everything in one night, guys.”

“Greedy.” Joel chuckles, turning his head and nipping your inner thigh. “He’s so fucking greedy.” He licks the skin and turns to nuzzle your curls again, burrowing his nose through the thatch.

“Jesus.” Your legs shake when the tip of his tongue snakes out to flick your clit again, but there is nothing in front of you to hold on to. The best you can do is reach behind you for the headboard to steady yourself, darkened eyes devouring the sight of the man you dedicated your life to groaning as he eagerly swallows Joel’s cock.

Joel’s eyes roll back and all he can do is show your cunt appreciation. Rumbling a moan through you while his hips shift up, eager to greet his lover’s tonsils again. Dieter had always been so eager to show he could push past his gag reflex when he was younger. Making it a race on who would cum first, you or Joel.

The rising volume in the room would be startling if you even gave a shit right now. Joel's fingers are digging into your legs as he pulls you down on his mouth like he's trying to use you to suffocate himself and Dieter is reaching across every mark and scar on Joel's skin like he can soothe them away with enough determination and affection. Joel curves his leg, bringing it up so he can rub his foot along Dieter’s calf, showing him some appreciation for the mind-blowing sensation of his mouth around his cock. It’s been so goddamn long since someone’s blown him with such unbridled enthusiasm.

Every moan from the back of Joel's throat shakes through you. Your own hands knead your breasts and pinch your own nipples for that extra lick of sensation, but it's the watching that you love. Staring unabashedly as Dieter takes every inch that Joel has to offer him over and over and over again with so much eagerness that he actually manages to gag himself a little from the sheer speed that he's bobbing on Joel's cock at.

Joel’s jaw starts to ache, working open and closed as he uses his lips and tongue the best way he knows how. He’s never been much of a talker, but he knows how to use his mouth. Squeezing your hips as his tongue lashes your clit over and over again, he encourages you to grind down on his face. Wanting to feel the weight of you on him, to have him nearly suffocate in you. It’s the only way he hasn’t lost his mind and cum yet. You nearly scream when he sucks your clit into his mouth, the all-encompassing way you shudder and gasp as the white-hot pulse of your orgasm takes over means you’re barely holding yourself up but the bed head holds. The string of incoherent praise from your lips has Dieter smirking, knowing that that reaction of yours can’t ever be faked. You’re lost in yourself as you flood Joel’s mouth with cum and watching it is so incredibly sexy.

Closing his eyes, Joel moans. Aware that the mouth around his cock has slowed down. Holding him in his throat but that's okay with Joel. Needing a moment to cool down so he doesn’t cum too soon. Busy drinking down your release as you writhe beautifully above him.

For Dieter, edging is almost a religious experience, and he knows now that both he and Joel need to cool off a little so you can enjoy yourself the maximum amount. You both love to watch - specifically watch each other - and the way he’s bent over Joel right now feels like worship. This is the closest Dieter ever gets to worship. Worshiping the people he loves.

For his part, Joel doesn’t stop working you through your orgasm until you are shifting away. Your cunt moving away from his mouth as you can’t take anymore and he flops back onto the bed when he can’t chase your lips anymore. “Fuck.”

Dieter grins lazily at the expletive, keeping his hand wrapped around Joel’s shaft even as he looks up between the two of you. “We can if we want to.”

Joel rolls his head to the side and smirks at you. “Why don’t you suck his cock while I eat his ass to get him ready?” He suggested it to you. “See how many pathetic sounds we can pull out of him.”

“All of them,” you predict, knowing your husband well. “All of them, and it’s going to be so worth it.”

Dieter bites his lip, moaning at the thought of having both of you touching him. “You’re still going to fuck me right?” He pouts at Joel.

Smirking, Joel sits up and reaches for him. “Why do you think I’m going to eat your ass? Gotta get you ready.”

“He promised to fuck both of us,” you remind Dieter, stealing a kiss as he crawls up the length of Joel’s broad body. You’re curious now, aching despite having just cum, wondering if Joel is as good with his cock as he is with his tongue.

“Right, right.” Dieter bobbles his head now and straddles Joel’s waist so he can grind down against his length and make him moan. “But you could hurt me?” He offers softly, willing to let Joel do anything to him. He had always been willing to let Joel hurt him, even from the moment he had pushed him into that bathroom.

It’s up to Joel and Dieter, what they do together, but you look between the men almost apologetically. “It’s the one thing I won’t do,” you explain to Joel. Hurting Dieter - even if he enjoys the pain - is completely out of the question for you. You’re just not that kind of lover.

Joel bites his lip, aware that he could but there’s time for that later. “Dee, how long has it been since you’ve gotten fucked?” He demands, wanting to know the truth. Even as his cock twists against Dieter’s skin.

“We have a whole drawer full of toys.” He promises, closing his eyes and shuddering a little at how different a warm cock feels against his skin than a cold toy. “Maybe a week and a half? Two weeks?”

“You know that’s not the same, baby.” Joel resists, but Dieter is pouting down at him just like the first time he begged him to fuck him without any prep. “Get on your back.” He huffs, rolling his eyes at his lover. “Impatient.”

Dieter us grinning like he just won the biggest victory in the world, scrambling to follow orders and not caring at all when you giggle softly under your breath from beside him. He knows he can be greedy in certain - ok, most - aspects of life. And there has been no way to be greedy these last twenty years except sex, so he revels in it.

Rolling his eyes over to you, Joel tilts his head. “Do you at least have lube?” He asks, “a little bit?”

"In a manner of speaking." It's not as though the KY factory is still operational in the apocalypse, but you nod and move to the side table across the bed from you, pulling out a small bottle of oil that you use as lube. The fact that it gets refilled from the remains of the olive oil down in the kitchen is beside the point - it's edible, it's safe, and it works.

“I won’t use much.” Joel promises, knowing how precious something like this is. He could have just used spit, but this is better. Better for lasting longer.

"Use enough." The last thing you want is for something to go wrong because the guys weren't safe.

He takes the bottle and watches as Dieter wraps his fist around his cock. “Fucking hurry.” Dieter moans, squeezing himself and slowly pumping his cock. “You were always too damn slow.”

"So fucking impatient." You chide him, hearing Joel chuckle darkly behind you. Situating yourself to lay alongside your husband, you nip idly at his hip while Joel shifts forward, and lets two fingers slip through your folds while you enjoy the sight of the two of them together. Once they find their rhythm you'll add yourself to the mix, but they deserve the chance to find each other again.

“Pet his pretty face and coo at him.” Joel orders you with a wink. His cock is coated in the oil and just the barest brush of his lubed fingers finds Dieter’s puckered hole before he is moving his hands to grip Dieter’s legs to guide them up on his hips. “Fuck it’s been a long time since I was this goddamn excited to sink into a tight hole.”

Dieter is a writhing, whimpering, pouting mess as he does every single thing Joel needs and impatiently waits to have his needy hole broken into. He opens his arms for you, though, letting you curl up to his side and nip along his jaw and neck while silky sweet phrases like 'good boy' and 'so fucking sexy' reach Joel's ears from your lips. You're laser focused on making sure your husband feels good right now, even if that pleasure comes from someone else.

Taking your hand, Joel guides it to Dieter’s cock right before he slides his knees forward. Grunting slightly with the aches and pains that come with age, he wouldn’t stop right now for anything. Shushing Dieter softly as the other man’s hips try to roll down and can’t as he positions him exactly how he wants and presses the head of his cock against the quivering hole he’s about to breach. “It’s okay, Dee. You’ve been so good; I’m going to make you take every inch.”

******

“Joel, fuck— please!” Dieter whines, knowing the house is empty and that no one will hear him as he squirms underneath his boyfriend. Joel’s larger frame has him caged in on the older boy’s mattress and what had been the rapturous giving of hand jobs while making out was now much more intense. The head of Joel’s cock is nudging at the entrance to Dieter’s ass and he’s so overwhelmed and eager that his eyes are watering as he begs.

“You sure?” For all his gruffness and sarcasm, Joel likes to tease. Especially when it gives him this doe eyed expression currently being offered by the needy mess he calls his boyfriend. “You want me to take your virginity? Break open your tight little ass and fill up another hole with my cum?” He’s aching to, wanting to experience this with Dieter, but he also wants to make sure he really wants it.

“No, I want you to cum in my ear.” Dieter huffs, rolling his eyes and pouting as he tries to grind his hips down again despite Joel holding him steady. “Fuck Joel— yes.” The whining begins all over again when he can’t get any friction from movement. Joel is in control physically, even though Dieter doesn’t realize that he’s actually the one in charge of whether or not this happens at all. “Take it— I’m giving it to you. Need you to—to fuck me. God it’s going to feel so fucking good.”

Joel chuckles, his cock already soaked from the way that Dieter had tried to suck his soul out before he had flipped him onto his back to tease him. Still he spits in his hand and starts to pump his cock with the head pushed against his hole. “Yeah baby? You want me to fuck you?” He coos mockingly as he pushes his hips forward enough to start nudging the head inside his boyfriend’s ass.

“Fuck—I—yes!” Just that little sensation of being barely breached has Dieter panting ragged breaths and saying silent thank yous to the universe for Tommy having a date tonight. Having all the time in the world to let Joel take him apart is like the best gift he could ever ask for.

Chuckling, Joel leans down to slide his tongue into Dieter’s mouth as the head of his cock slips inside and the ring of muscles clench down around the ridge. “Fuck.” Joel pants slightly, holding steady over him.

“Shit.” Dieter practically yelps but it’s buried behind a moan as both of his hands shoot out to grab onto Joel’s arms. “Keep going.” He begs, panting heavily.

His brow wrinkles and he bites his lip as he looks down at Dieter. The urge to just drive his hips forward is nearly overwhelming but he’s soooo tight. “Fuck, fuck, I am.” He groans, sinking another two inches into him and moaning.

The flashes of blinding pleasure and pinching pain combine in Dieter’s body and mind, translating only to wanting more, and the inexorable bond between the two seems immediate. Water pricks at his eyes and his fingers curl into Joel’s arms, whimpers falling from his lips as he rolls his hips down to beg for more.

Joel huffs in amazement, sure that Dieter would have asked him to slow down, to stop, give him a minute. Or even just to pull out. Instead he’s begging for more and all Joel can do is groan and feed him his cock just like he is wanting. Faster than he would want but apparently not fast enough for his boyfriend having his cherry popped.

He only pauses when Dieter yelps slightly, responding to a jolt of Joel’s hips with a sheepish grin. “Hurts so good,” he admits, eyelids already fluttering at the mix of sensations and how they’re making his impossibly hard cock throb and drip precum onto his stomach. He half wonders if he could get off just from Joel fucking him - no hand or mouth involved at all.

“Jesus.” Joel hisses watching as Dieter’s hands fist the sheets of his bed and he decides that if he’s not saying stop, he’s going to keep going. “Gonn— gonna— fuck.” His control slips and instead of the slow roll of his hips, he snaps them forward and buries himself to the hilt.

“Fuck!” Dieter’s hips lift off the bed and his back arches, legs splayed haphazardly over Joel’s arms like they mean nothing at all. “Fuck, fuck, holy shit baby.” A torrent of incoherent praise threatens to bubble to the surface but all Dieter can manage is a few disjointed phrases as his body sings with pleasure.

He would think that Dee is writhing in pain but he knows when his boyfriend is nearly about to cum. Holding his hips down as he hunches over him, grinding his cock even deeper. “You like that, baby? You like my cock deep inside you?” His voice breaks, threatens to give out as he clenches his teeth when Dieter squeezes him in response.

“I can’t wait to do this to you.” Dieter breathes out, whining and letting out a shuddering gasp when Joel pushes deeper. “Fuck, baby, it’s amazing.”

Joel groans, his cock twitching inside Dee as he imagines it. The most he’s done is have a finger up there. Unless you count the time Dieter licked his asshole. He had nearly come up off the bed.

The way Joel twitches inside him makes Dieter moan louder, and a spurt of hot, sticky precum leaks from the tip of the purple cock. “Do it, Joel,” he whines, eyes open and teary, begging his boyfriend to move. “Fuck me.”

He can’t do anything but exactly that. Groaning as he pulls his hips back, his thrusts are stilted, unmeasured as he fumbles his way through pushing back inside and adjusting his knees to not collapse on top of Dieter. “Fuck.” Awkward and inelegant, the few minutes that this dance between them lasts are worth every second of the experience. Time bends itself around them, making five minutes last five hours, and the rainstorm outside absorbs both boys’ sounds of ecstasy as they climb quickly closer to their peak.

Now he’s got Dieter’s legs on his shoulders, on his knees as he pumps his hips forward, moaning every time he fills him again. “Fuck— fuck, shit I���m gonna cum.” Joel grunts out, surprised he’s lasted this long. It’s only because Dieter blew him earlier otherwise he would be done for. “Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuck.”

Fullness is now a sensation that Dieter is intimately familiar with, but he never could have imagined what feeling Joel cum inside him would be like. How that would be the thing to trigger his own orgasm, splattering his stomach and chest with his own sticky release.

Joel groans, watching Dieter’s eyes roll back and his cock twitch between them. Jerking up and spurting cum all over his chest. It’s so fucking hot that he just came all over himself, while Joel’s cock continues to pulse deep inside him. “Fuck, fuck is it that good? It made you cum, baby?” He reaches out and wraps his hand around Dieter’s cock, pumping him through his release.

“Holy fucking shit.” When Dieter’s slack jaw moves again, he swallows a gulp of air and looks up at his boyfriend with adoration swimming in his eyes. He won’t say what he’s been thinking for weeks now, but it’s loud and clear in his heart and his mind. “That’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

******

You are the center of attention, muffled praises coming from Dieter as he bites and sucks at your breast. Leg tossed over Joel’s hip as he licks into your mouth, the slow pump of three thick fingers curl up into you again as he pulls back. “You’re doing so good for us sweetheart.” He coos. “You liked watching us, didn’t you? You’re so fucking wet. Slick from watching me fuck your Dee.”

Agreement comes on a moan, the nodding of your head somehow in tone with the thrusting of his fingers inside you. Joel has broad hands and thick fingers and it’s magical.

“It’s good baby, wish you could feel how tight he gets, his little hole squeezin’ me, kinda like your cunt right now.” Joel doesn’t talk a lot, but it doesn’t mean he can’t. Especially when he’s figured out you like the sound of his voice, rougher and lower than Dieter’s baritone. “Can’t wait to feel this around my cock.”

It's debatable if Joel clocked your voice kink early or if Dieter told him, but either way you've long since melted into the bed with the steady sound of filthy words in what's left of that silky Texas drawl. "What are you – fuck – waiting for?" You can feel his cock twitching against your hip and it's like a metronome for the throbbing in your pussy.

He chuckles, pressing his lips to yours and sliding his tongue through when you so willingly part them so he can flick his tongue against yours. "Your husband drained me." He reminds you huskily. "Fuck, if it was thirty years ago, I would already be deep inside you. Maybe even twenty years. Now I need a minute to recover." His fingers are sucked deeper by the grasping clutch of your cunt and his soft cock twitches.

Decades with Dee have made you acutely aware of what happens to aging men’s refractory periods, and the fact that your ability to cum and cum until you just collapse from exhaustion is very different from how their bodies work. “If you need to rest…” Pulling back from him is all about having an honest moment, even if his fingers are still inside you. “You can always wake me up creatively.”

Shaking his head, Joel smirks at you and leans down, biting your bottom lip. "Baby, I'm not sleeping until I've filled both of you up." He promises. "Want to see both of you leaking my cum." You've informed him after he fucked Dieter that pregnancy isn't possible, owing to issues before the end of 'modern' medicine, and he knows you aren't trying to trick him on that.

“Just trying to play nice,” you offer, catching his lip and giving it a nip in return before leaning over to your other side to press a kiss to the top of Dieter’s head. “I know someone loves to watch just as much as I do.”

Dieter pops off your breast with a blissed out smile. "It's— baby you're so beautiful when you're getting fucked, and I've dreamed of watching Joel fuck my girl." It's always been in the back of his mind when he was with any woman but especially the love of his life.

“I think somebody missed his man.” The affectionate chuckle from you is really for both men, even as you lean down to kiss your husband’s lips. The connection between them is so strong that getting to share a sweet moment amongst the intensity is a privilege.

Dieter huffs and blushes but he doesn't deny that. He did miss Joel. Joel was the first person to ever make him feel safe, to feel loved and wanted. Even if he had never spoken the words to him, Dieter had felt like he was worthy of living because Joel Miller cared about him. There had been a lot of times before Joel where he hadn't wanted to go on, and now - even in this harsh, post-apocalyptic landscape - Joel still brings that sense of safety to him.

"It's okay." Seeing the blush on Dieter's cheeks, you press another kiss to his lips and cup his cheek with your hand gently. "I get it now." It's a touching moment, but Joel can't help but curl his fingers and press them against that spongy spot he discovered makes your toes curl. "Shit, Joel!" That little motion pulls your back and hips right up off the bed and you gasp out his name, giggling to yourself about the way it takes you right out of the moment. Dieter does that stuff too from time to time – breaking the tension with physicality. Now you wonder who got it from whom when they were teens.

The man to blame chuckles and leans over to lap at your other breast. "You weren't paying attention." He hums playfully before he bites down gently.

"Telling Dee that I understand why he's still in love with you after thirty years isn't paying attention?" The hand you have on Joel's back curls around his shoulder now and holds him close to you. "My apologies."

Joel huffs at you, completely unaware of why he would still be in love with him. Rolling his eyes up at you and licking your nipple again. "Hush, I want you to cum."

“So demanding.” You tease, huffing at him in turn. But your rotating hips have been listening the whole time, moving with his hand to meet every thrust of his fingers.

“You want me to get hard again or not?” Joel asks, smirking down at you. “You wanna ride me, or have me fuck you into this bed like I did Dee?”

“You’ve already worked hard tonight, handsome.” The arm you had around him snakes back to you, slipping down between you to wrap your hand around his cock in encouragement. Feeling a cock grow hard in your grasp is always well worth it. “Let me ride you.”

“Fuck.” Joel groans, rocking his hips towards your hand as he pumps his fingers faster. “Fuck yes.”

Your amused chuckle washes away on a deep groan as Joel stretches his fingers out a little more inside you and hits just the right angle, making your legs quiver right before your pussy clamps down around all three digits inside it.

“That’s it, that’s it sweetheart.” He groans, loving the heat that washes over his fingers. Feeling your body start to shake with another orgasm. “Cum for me.”

Dieter’s expression of adoration doesn’t waver, watching you come apart for Joel. It takes over his whole face, shining in his eyes while he looks at the two of you. It’s the dream scenario, for him anyway, even if he’s watching you cum for Joel in a hotel bed after the collapse of civilization instead of in your mansion in Sherman Oaks.

Joel always enjoys the ride when he makes a partner cum. Kissing your jaw and your lips while you moan softly, cunt fluttering around his fingers until he senses that it’s time to stop moving them and let you catch your breath. “Beautiful.”

“On your back.” As soon as you’ve caught your breath you’re on the move, shifting so that Joel can get comfortable in the middle of the bed.

Joel rolls over as ordered and his hand finds Dieter’s thigh, finding his gaze on him and silently asking permission one last time.

"Don't be so nervous," Dieter chides softly, pressing close to slide his tongue into Joel's mouth and savor the taste of him while you straddle his waist. "She's amazing." Joel grunts into his mouth, reaching up to tangle his fingers into the curly locks of his lover and kisses him back before he lets go and turns to watch you grind against his cock.

"Keep going if you want." You rise up on your knees to position yourself over Joel's cock and start to sink down, fighting the urge to let your eyes shut in bliss as he stretches you out. "I don't mind wa—" Every inch makes you gasp a little and you slow down a little to savor the stretch. "Watching you make out while I ride you."

“Want to watch you take me.” Joel smirks, knowing that he has Dieter beat in the girth department slightly.

"Like to see how well you split me open?" If you were him, you'd love that too. As it is, your mouth drops open on a low moan the more you sink down on him.

“Fuck yes.” Joel groans, taking your hips and grunting as your walls squeeze him tight.

Dieter's groan is almost louder than yours as you seat yourself fully in Joel's lap. "Goddamn." You gasp out, swirling your hips in a rolling figure eight before rising up again to push out another curse on your way down. "So fucking thick, baby. Holy shit."

Joel chuckles smugly and lightly slaps your hip. “You’re just tight, sweetheart.” He coos, pinching your skin and then rubbing it gently. He likes the way you look on his cock and twitches as he rocks his hips up.

The pace you set might not be as brutal and needy as what he had picked with Dee, but it's energetic enough to have both men reaching for your bouncing tits and smacking your ass in alternation.

“Jesus.” Joel hisses, unable to stay still underneath you. It’s too much to even try. You fit him perfectly and ride him like he’s a bull you're trying to stay on. “Come on baby.”

It doesn't matter that your thighs burn and your knees protest a little more than they used to, the feeling of connection is deeper than you can put your finger on at the moment but you know that having Dieter's hand squeezing your ass every time it connects with Joel's thighs feels like more than just lust.

Somehow your fingers tangle with Joel’s, Dieter’s free hand also linked in. The three of you holding onto one another as you bounce your way closer to another orgasm. “So good, sweetheart. Doing so good for me.”

"So good." You echo, free hand leaving your tits to let your fingers circle your clit and letting your head fall back in pleasure when his cock throbs like it's responding to his hungry eyes devouring the sight. "Fuck, Joel. You're so fucking sexy -- could ride you all night."

It's an ego boost considering he thinks Dieter is far more attractive than he is. Groaning, he plants his feet on the bed and starts thrusting up, eager to see you fall apart, this time on his cock. "Do it." He dares you, knowing that you couldn't possibly keep this pace all night long but he's willing to sacrifice sleep.

“Gladly.” It’s bravado for both of you, but that doesn’t change the sentiment. That you both would if you could. Every time you impale yourself on him is another glorious groan out of both of you, and you know that chasing that orgasm for both of you won’t take long.

“Shit.” He hisses, watching as your bounces get tighter, more urgent. Leaning forward so you can press your lips against his, trapping Dieter’s hand on your tit between you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuuuccckk.” Joel’s arms hold you tight to his chest as he pounds into you, catching your fingers as they press into the swollen nub of your clit and pressing on it that much harder with every thrust. It ramps up so quickly that you barely manage to gasp out a warning before another orgasm slams into you like a freight train.

It's beautiful, the way you cry out and turn towards him. Even though you had been kissing your husband the second before you had shattered. Moaning into his mouth has his hips rock up a few more times before he feels his own body give into the pleasure and he fills you with an aching warmth and a gasp of your name.

“Oh my god…” Catching your breath, you revel in being splayed out on Joel’s chest and the way Dieter has curled up to both of you to cling to being close to the two people he cares about most in the world.

Joel chuckles, rubbing your back and his head rolls to the side so he can look at Dieter. "If you think that was good, wait until we share you." He teases.

“Tomorrow.” You mumble, grinning at them both. “We’re definitely doing that tomorrow.”

Joel hums and grins back at you, still stroking your back softly. “We can arrange that.”

"As many times as you want." Dieter agrees, softly pressing a kiss to your lips before leaning over to give the same to Joel. "For as long as we're all together."

“Come with us.” Joel urges, reaching out to keep Dieter close. “We’ll stay for a few more days, but I want – I just found you again.” He bites his lip. “I don’t want to leave you.”

Dieter's eyes immediately find yours, begging without saying a word, and you know that as usual it's your job to be the practical one. To not let your feelings run away with you. Even though, at this moment, you want to say yes and make big promises just like you did when you fell in love with Dieter. "Why don't we talk about it tomorrow?" You suggest, looking between both men indulgently. "When Joel isn't inside me?"

“That works.” Joel nods, trying to retain that practicality that has seemingly abandoned him. He pats your hip and sighs softly. “We should clean up.”

“Water in the basin by the fireplace should still be warm.” You stifle a yawn with one hand as you reluctantly slip off of him, hoping your legs will cooperate. “I’ll get it.”

“You stay put.” Joel insists as he rolls over with a groan. “I’ll take care of you both.” He had wondered where the warm clean rag to clean up him and Dieter had come from, but he hadn’t asked. Now he pushes to his feet and strides over to get what he needs to clean his lovers up again.

“You want to go, don’t you?” Alone even for a moment with your husband, you brush his sweat damp curls from his face and smile. “You want to stay with him.”

“Is that okay?” Dieter manages to frown and give you a wide-eyed pleading look, hoping you would understand.

“It’s going to be dangerous.” Despite that warning, you place a kiss on the tip of his nose. “Wherever we end up may be a lot more difficult than living here has been.” You both have seen the writing on the wall— you know that your supplies here are running out. That you’ll have to leave eventually. “There may not be privacy for a long time, or even any kind of comfort.”

Dieter bites his lip and his eyes flicker back over to Joel as he turns and moves back towards the bed with two rags in his hands. “I think it will be worth it. But—” he turns his head and cups your cheek. “If you don’t want to go, we stay.”

“Baby, we’re going to have to go. Probably sooner than we’d like.” The kiss you press to his lips is soft but earnest, full of all the love you can muster. “But I don’t want you to lose him, and the world out there is a hell of a lot less scary if you share it with people you love.”

“What are you feeling?” Dieter asks quickly, aware that Joel has slowed his stroll across the room after seeing the way your heads are pressed together.

“That he still loves you.” To you, at least, it’s obvious. Obvious in the way they are together and the way they were even before you all climbed into bed together. “And I know you still love him. And…I don’t know if Joel is like us. But if he is - or he could be - then I hope he could grow to love me, too.”

Joel interrupts the moment, finally reaching the bed and he kneels on it gently, his eyes shifting between the two of you. He didn't hear what was said, damn hard hearing, but he can guess. The conversation revolves around him, and he nudges your knees apart so he can start to clean you up. "I never imagined Dieter with a woman, not permanently." He offers quietly, smiling at you, and rolling his eyes. "But then again I didn't expect Dieter to stay with anyone. And he managed to choose a woman that both of us would want."

“I think I surprised most people by getting married.” Dieter admits, though he waggles his eyebrows at you in seeming triumph. “Me and her included.” He smiles at Joel proudly, chest puffed up even in his eagerness. “I laughed instead of crying when he proposed.” Your hand still on Dieter’s cheek strokes his patchy beard fondly. “That’s how shocked I was.”

Joel snorts and shoots the both of you a grin as you stare at each other lovingly. "I wouldn't doubt it." He huffs. "He was probably nervous and high as a fucking kite."

“Fucking terrified.” Dieter agrees immediately. “But I was stone sober. It was first thing in the morning, and we had just finished fucking.” He laughs at himself, knowing it had been a whim. Looking back, he’s still surprised you said yes. “I took her ring shopping that day.”

"You have a good story to hold onto when things are bad." He murmurs, tossing the rag with his cum onto the floor and then cleaning himself quickly so he can figure out if he needs to go or to lay down again.

“There’s always time to make more good memories.” Shifting over, you nudge Dieter toward the center of the bed to make room for Joel on his other side. “Which is what we were talking about.”

"Yeah?" He asks, not saying anything else. He's well aware of him coming into an established relationship and if you decided that you didn't want to change your dynamic, he understands. He's already put his own cards on the table.

“Lay down.” It might be a statement but Dieter asks it like a question.

"Okay." Joel nods and shifts to lay down on the bed beside Dieter, his hand resting on the other man's hip.

“We know that we don’t have a traditional marriage.” In the years that you’ve been with Dieter, you’ve been the voice of reason. His organizer. His logic. Taken care of him and done what’s best for him, and rejoiced when his needs and wants lined up with yours. Right now, delightedly, you can rejoice. “But there’s very little in the world that is traditional anymore. So…really what we’re saying is that whether or not we come with you is really a question of whether or not you can find it in yourself to share Dee, now that you’ve found him again. B-because,” you waver slightly, afraid that Dee’s heart being on the front of this battlefield is just too much to ask of your gentle husband. But it’s unavoidable. “Because we’re a package deal.”

Joel frowns, staring at you for a moment before he shakes his head. "Of course you are." He grunts, acting like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "You are married. I am the one who is the outlier here. Both of you was never the question. The question is where I would fit in."

“Wherever you want to.” Reaching over, you place your hand over his on Dieter’s hip. “You and Dee have loved each other a long time. And so have Dieter and I. So the hope is that you and I can find our way to each other.”

"I don't see that being a problem." Joel admits with a smirk. "Not at all."

The besotted grin that overtakes Dieter’s face flashes victory in your direction and he hums. “Told you,” he gloats happily.

“Yeah, you told me.” But you kiss him indulgently, not upset in the least when you look back at Joel. “We’ll pack up what we can here, and then we’ll all leave together.”

“Together." Joel nods and leans in to kiss Dieter and then you tenderly. He had approached this hotel looking for shelter for the night, maybe a meal or two from what was left in the kitchens. He had instead found the first person he had ever loved and a brand-new future to look forward to. Together.

______ Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @hardc0rehaylz @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle

My Masterlist!

[finniestoncrane]

Your One True Nemesis

Chapter 19: also on AO3 Masterlist Here Arkham!Riddler x Female!Reader, word count: 2k i don't ever like... toot my own horn, but i giggled while writing this so i guess that's a positive lmao request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: kissing, angst, fluff, minor injury, brief mention of blood

In the two days since you and Eddie had quite extensively blurred the lines of your ‘relationship’ he had avoided speaking to you, more so than usual. It hadn’t been unpleasant, though. It did mean that he hadn’t had as many chances to insult you, or shout at you. And when he did speak to you, it was usually civil. It was an odd state of affairs to be living in, but you were grateful, and you understood. What had happened was so sudden, so confusing, especially for someone like Eddie. It was wise, you assumed, to stay back and let him come around on his own, to come to his own conclusions about everything, and to process without interference. That way, he might…

What you wanted was for him to feel the same as you did. Which, while you were still somewhat uncertain about what that was, you knew it involved more. More of Eddie. More touching, if that was available. But more, of something anyway. And if you got in his way, you might remind him of how irritating he found you, and that would definitely be a bit of a cock block.

You threw yourself back on your bed, placing your hands over your face to muffle the soft groan that had been building up. Eddie was likely still awake, even at this late hour, and the idea that he might hear you and ask any questions made your heart stammer in your chest. And then, as though on queue, there was a knock on your door.

Flicking on the lamp, you shuffled over to the door, bracing yourself momentarily before opening it to Eddie, who was standing just as awkwardly on the other side.

“May I come in?”

“Why?”

You bit your lip, realising that you had come across unintentionally as quite rude, when really you’d only been too slow to hide your surprise. It was fine though, as you assumed that Eddie might be more suspicious of you inviting him in straight away.

“Arm.”

He held it out, twisting it slightly to show you the fairly deep, two inch cut that ran around it.

“Jesus, Eddie! Quick, sit down.”

“Well, as long as you were already awake and have time to look at it… I don’t want to interrupt you…”

He was already making his way into the room though, sitting down by the time he finished his sentence. His gaze slowly made its way around the room, taking in the surroundings. It wasn’t often, if at all, that Eddie was actually in your space. His knowledge of what lay beyond your door was when he knocked on it and you answered, maybe taking a quick glance behind you. He seemed to be taking in as much as he could as he held his arm out, silently begging for your attention to be focused on it.

With the first aid kit from under your bed in hand, you sat down next to him and began to tend the wound, cleaning it off as best as you could with the antiseptic wipes. Neither of you said anything, and both of you avoided eye contact. The tension was palpable, and you could barely cope with the awkward feeling between you. Trying to be brave, you finally spoke, deciding that you couldn’t make things worse by just asking.

“So… how did we get here?”

“Sometimes, my dear, my hands aren’t quick enough to keep up with my brain. And working with sharp, sturdy materials means that there are ample opportunities for injury.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know that.”

Eddie sighed as you pulled out the paper stitches and began to place them along the deep gash. As you worked silently, he continued.

“You must have been getting rather nervous at the thought of confronting me… right?”

You kept silent. It felt like he was goading you, attempting to turn this into something spiteful or negative, anything to return to normality. But you were standing your ground. You refused to let things go back to the way they were, even if only out of desperation to have Eddie touch you again, to feel him against you even just one more time.

As though you were able to anticipate him, finally, after months of living with him, you felt him lean into you. His arm moved slightly, out of your soft grasp, and his hand fell to your leg, fingers tensing ever so slightly, fingertips increasing their pressure as they pressed into your thigh. In a quick movement, he buried his face into your neck, sighing as he let his nose and open lips drag across your skin.

It was obvious that he was trying desperately not to kiss you. Not that he would have assumed that was the romantic or erotic thing to do in that situation, more that it was a natural reaction to the scenario that he was trying to push down and suppress in a bid to not break his own rules. Eddie’s tongue flitted over your skin, flat, long strokes and quicker flicks with just the tip, interspersed with sharp bites as he did what he could with his mouth. But he let his guard down a few times as he moved with you, moaning softly, lips closing into what would definitely be considered a kiss if you were to argue it strongly enough. You wouldn’t though.

Eddie’s hand was reaching higher up your leg, and you moaned against him as his fingers grazed past your lips. At the sound, he stopped and pulled his whole body back from you. As your heart sank, you felt yourself stop taking breaths, preparing yourself for what was coming next. Worried that he was about to launch into a speech on why this shouldn’t happen, or couldn’t happen. How it was all a mistake, how he didn’t mean any of it ever. That you had to leave, or that he couldn’t see you. Or something equally hurtful.

Staring at his face, you could see his brain working over the words. He was being careful, considerate. Unlike him. You wondered if he was actually putting thought into the words in an attempt to seem caring, or not as harsh at least. But still, when his lips parted, your heart skipped several beats.

“I don’t… perhaps we shouldn’t dive into that… so soon. But, I wonder if it might be ok for me to stay here, just for a little bit longer… without…”

His face contorted into a confused grimace as he tried to express his desire, a vulnerable request that was obviously making him deeply uncomfortable to admit to wanting. And you didn’t want him to go back on the words so far, so you interrupted.

“Eddie, would you stay? I don’t want to… do anything else, if that’s ok. But… I’d like it if we could just lay down. It’s… cold.”

It wasn’t. But it was the best you could do under pressure.

“Ah… yes. A… fine place to give up. I won’t think less of you for waving the white flag of surrender on the evening… it was perhaps… rushed…”

Eddie cringed at his own words, internally cursing himself for being so awkward, for instantly rushing to place blame or cowardice on the other in every situation he could. But you took his hand in yours and smiled warmly at him, reassurance and kindness. Both things he hadn’t experienced much of from an external source in his life.

Laying down in the bed, you kept your body still as he adjusted himself next to you. There was minimal physical contact, and you were fine with that. Baby steps, little by little. At this rate, you were sure you might be able to tell him how you felt about him in only another three decades or so. You smiled at the thought, realising you didn’t actually care how long it took. Each bit of progress was just that. And all you cared about was that things were getting better.

As you closed your eyes and let out one final contented sigh, feeling sleep rushing over you, you felt Eddie reach for your hand, taking it in his silently. You squeezed once, a quiet acknowledgement, and then fell asleep with more ease than you had in what felt like forever.

It was so comforting to have Eddie next to you, and you realised it had done wonders for you when you woke up, having slept solidly for what you assumed was hours. As you became more aware of your surroundings, more awake with each second, you found yourself staring at Eddie’s chest, your face buried into it. Suddenly aware of your body completely, you realised you were wrapped around him, arms on his side and on his stomach, one leg over him. But before you could worry about whether that was ok or not, it suddenly dawned on you that Eddie was equally attached to you. One hand held the back of your head, the other rested on your upper arm. His leg, bent a the knee, was sandwiched between your thighs.

Looking at the clock, careful not to wake him, you realised it had been at least seven hours since you last remembered checking the time when Eddie had come into your room. It was surprising that you managed to sleep so long, but it was miraculous that Eddie had. Evidently, this is what he needed. Some comfort, security. Warmth. You noted that, knowing it would be a useful cure for his insomnia in future.

You knew you wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep, and as tempting as it was to stay wrapped in the embrace, with each second you spent with him you were more likely to wake him up, and it felt more important that he get rest right now. So you eased yourself away from him, quietly leaving the room to sit on the sofa for a while. You had a lot to think about, and it felt good to have a quiet space to do it in.

Eventually, you decided it would be a kind gesture to take Eddie something to eat in bed, so you got started on breakfast. The sounds or the smells, though, woke him up, and he appeared behind you, shifting awkwardly on his bare feet as he coughed to get your attention.

“Oh! Good morning! I’m just making some food, I thought I would bring it to you, but we can eat it here if you’re awake.”

Eddie looked down at the floor, his gaze making its way slowly back up to meet yours where he offered you an uncomfortable smile.

“I fell asleep in your bed.”

“You did. I did too though. I slept well… did you?”

“Very.”

Smiling, trying to conceal the pride you felt in knowing you had been a part of an environment so comforting that it had made Edward Nigma sleep solidly for an entire night’s rest, you placed a plate in front of him as he sat at the table.

“Thank you.”

“Eddie… you’ve never thanked me for breakfast before. What’s up with you?”

You offered a sly grin, trying to keep the atmosphere playful. He smiled back, genuine, soft.

“It’s not… for breakfast.”

You forgave him for eating the rest of his meal in silence. And for the moderate silence he spent the entire day in. He’d already said enough. That one gesture alone, the admittance that he had enjoyed your company, that laying next to you, holding your body close to his own had provided him a modicum of something he had so desperately needed for his entire life. That was plenty to have you riding the high for the rest of the day, perhaps even the rest of the week. Maybe longer. You were certain you wouldn’t forget it in a hurry. It had imprinted itself in your memory.

[they-reap-what-we-sow]

“I need your help, and you can’t ask me any questions.”

on ao3

Buck froze at the kitchen sink, the smile falling off his face from where it had subconsciously popped up as he’d picked up Eddie’s call. He only took a minute to spiral through the worst case scenarios before shaking it off. It didn’t matter what Eddie had done, Buck would be there with a shovel and a lighter in minutes. 

Being a firefighter had its perks- specifically very detailed knowledge on how fast and how hot fires need to be to get rid of evidence. Buck dropped to his knees and started digging for the lye soap he kept under his sink when he heard Eddie’s voice calling him from the phone abandoned next to the running sink.

“-uck! Man, you okay?!” 

Buck scrambled above his head to grab his phone. 

“I’m here! I’m okay! Sorry- okay, I’ll be there in like 10 minutes, just tell me what supplies you need, and don’t touch anything without gloves.”

There was a long silence, and then Eddie asked slowly, “Buck, what do you think I need your help with?” He sounded almost offended, and Buck coughed awkwardly as he tried to explain his convoluted thought process.

“Uh, no- nothing?” He didn’t sound believable, and Buck tried to cover it up, “Cleaning your uh, house?”

“If you thought that I killed somebody, and needed help covering it up, I really hope you’d ask me some questions.” Eddie said, voice breaking down into laughter as he admonished Buck’s enthusiasm. 

Buck felt himself blush, heat crawling up the back of his neck as he got to his feet and turned off the still-running sink. 

“Hey! I trust you- I’m sure you did it for a reason!” Buck defended himself - and hypothetical murderer Eddie- for their decisions. “It’s not like I wouldn’t help you even if you didn’t have a reason. You wouldn’t do well in jail.”

Buck could almost hear the rolling eyes across the line as Eddie scoffed loudly, “I wouldn’t do well in jail? You’d get chewed up and spit out in the first hour, Buck.” 

“I don’t know about that, Eds. I bet I could find someone who’d be willing to protect me.” 

The silence this time was heavy with something thick and cloying and unnamed and wanting. 

“That’s a bold claim.” Eddie said slowly, daring Buck, almost, to follow through, to take them past the line in the sand they danced around every day. 

Buck wasn’t brave enough for that. 

“Anyways, I- uh, I actually wanted to ask if you would come with me to watch Christopher at the park,” Eddie finally coughed out, after the quiet between them had stretched so far it had left their conversation in the sticky remnants of the sheer awkwardness.

Buck immediately brightened, “Oh dude, yeah, always! You know I’d never say no to hanging out with my favorite Diaz.”

“It’s uh- he can’t actually see us there.” 

“...What.”

Eddie groaned loudly, and Buck heard the sound of the sofa cushions thud as Eddie likely threw himself down in the living room. 

“He’s becoming a teenager, Buck. I looked away for a second and now he’s skipping Science Club meetings and playing video games after his bedtime and defying his grounding! Why can’t he just stay a baby?” Eddie asked mournfully. Buck laughed sympathetically, wishing he could be there to embrace the tired closeness that Eddie so easily handed away this late at night. 

“Oh, yeah. He’s about to outgrow you any day now. Not like that’s hard, obviously.” Buck teased softly, ambling across the loft to fall into his own armchair. He sprawled out, relaxing to the backing track of Eddie’s voice in his ear. 

“Buck. He wants to hang out with his friends without me. Without any adults.” Eddie complained, and suddenly it struck Buck exactly what Eddie was talking about. 

Buck wondered pitifully if Christopher would still claim him as a best friend if he asked the boy today. He resolved not to ask. He couldn’t take the outright rejection.

“Oh no. We’re losing him to puberty?” Buck bemoaned.

“We’re losing him to puberty.” Eddie confirmed, and both of them pouted in companionable silence for a moment of mourning the loss of Christopher’s idealization. 

“So you’ll come with me to follow Christopher through the park, right?” Eddie asked.

“You can count on it,” Buck said, “I’ll bring the disguises.”

[sohin-ace]

Abbachio - Hangover

You walked inside the headquarters that you titled your home.

It was half past 3 A.M and you knew fair well everybody in the team was staying here for the night, and were most likely sleeping soundly like babies at this hour.

And so, with velvety steps and calculated slow movements, you entered the porch and quietly closed the door, moving in the dark as silently as possible.

You had just finished a tiring mission and the one thing you desired most at the moment was to crash into bed, maybe marry it since you were at it, barely thinking about the sticky blood, sweat and dried river water that stained you during your mission.

You huffed and kicked your shoes off, liberating your aching and swollen feet from them, directing yourself towards the kitchen to fetch some well-deserved water that your throat was oh-so desperately screaming for.

You were shocked to find the room lit at this hour. Your first thought was that Bruno was probably still awake and having a small break from his neverending pile of work.

Your expression completely fell, however, upon seeing that Bruno was not the one occupying the kitchen but someone else, greeting you with a heart breaking sight.

"... Leone?"

The male was slumped over the table, his head buried in his arms with one hand holding onto a spilling wine bottle, burgundy liquid running everywhere onto the wooden surface, the floor, and onto the male's clothes. Even some strands of his splayed out hair drank up the alcohol, dying them from silver to violet.

You gasped at the mess but was even more shocked by the implications behind said mess. He didn't even bother taking a glass, prefering downing the wine directly from the bottle. He wasn't planning on holding back tonight and it alarmed you.

You knew of Abbachio's tendency of alchoholism, but he was never so drunk as to black out this way and you weren't sure he would even be able to work tomorrow, or do anything else, for that matter.

"Leone..." You slowly approached his hunched over form and gently shook him. "Caro, wake up."

No response.

With you being all alone in the middle of the night, there weren't much you could do. But there were no way you'd ever leave him in this state.

Shaken with worry, you only did what your heart told you and moved the bottle away from his grip. It was almost empty at this point anyway.

You brushed his long hair to the side to let some fresh air cool his face down while you cleaned and mopped the tiled floor and table. Oh you'd make sure to lecture him about that later.

You thought about him, sitting next to you as you cleaned up. How tormented he was and how, just like the wine bottle, he spilled himself out in secrecy.

You bit back your tears. He was so alone. Tortured. It hurt you that your Leone, whom you loved so much, had to go through a trauma you could never heal for him. Or even soothed in the slightest. You were grateful that he even remotely accepted your affection, but still.

It wasn't enough, for you.

"I wish I could help you, Leone..." You murmured and caressed his soft hair, revealing more of his peaceful face, his smeared makeup not tainting any of his beauty.

Your heart clenched, he looked so calm, so sweet. How did he manage to make grief look so gentle, you would never know. You almost didn't want to move him and disturb him, but you had to.

Carefully holding his shoulders, you pulled him up, his weight much heavier than you'd have expected, even thought it should be no surprise. Abbachio was a burly man.

You craddled his head and placed him in a proper up-sitting position and he groaned.

"Uugh... Hhmmm..."

"Leone, wake up, love." You still held his face against your chest and patted his cheek to wake him, scared that he'd sway and tumble over if you let go of him. "You gotta go to bed. Come on."

"Hmmm.... Sssuuuree...." He mumbled, words slurred.

He was surprisingly compliant, you thought. When you were certain he could hold his own head up, you let go and grabbed his wrist, still drenched in wine.

You hooked his arm around your shoulders and wrapped your own around his torso. He made the effort to stay in balance while you hoisted him up to his feet, not without struggle and effort on your part.

You stumbled a bit, but managed to get him up, at least, holding onto him for dear life as you maneuvered his much heavier body around the kitchen.

He counted on you for support and was close to falling sleeping on you as he snored against your hair, the stench of alcohol reaching your nostrils. Man, why did he have to be the heaviest male of the group?

You brushed your exhaustion from the preceeding mission to the side and dedicated yourself to helping Leone. Rest could wait.

Thanks to the help of your Stand, you ended the course safely back to his room and opened the door, having more hands to do so.

You let him down to sit onto his bed as gently as you could and you felt he was about collapse again.

You instantly wrapped your arms around his shoulders and let him slump over your chest.

"Woa- Don't lay down just yet! I need to get your clothes off."

He only purred some low nonsense, as if to show his annoyance to you. Well, maybe he desperately wanted to sleep, but so did you.

"Don't 'brrr' at me, boy. You're the one who spilled wine all over your pants and top!" You scolded to deaf, or rather drunk ears. Not like he was listening to you, but still.

Huffing a bit, you took hold of the lace on his top and untied it, letting you slide the rest off his broad shoulders and back. It was much easier to slip the sleeves off afterwards, and you were almost proud of yourself.

"I'm gonna be such a good mom." You joked to yourself as you caringly held onto Leone's warm back and head to gently place him down on his bed before taking his shoes and pants off.

Once this was done and not without a pause to catch your breath, you went to the bathroom to grab a towel, dampening it in warm water before you came back to him and sat by his side. He had already fallen fast asleep, and was looking awfully adorable, if you were honest.

" 'Clumsy brat'," You chuckled with a whisper as you wiped the wine off his skin and the sweat and tears off his neck and chest. "That's what you always called me. Ironic."

You looked fondly over at him as you finished your self-assigned task, closing off by wiping his left hand. You thought over your options.

Maybe it was the fatigue blurring your moral code. Or maybe you were just blinded by this crazy thing called love. Perhaps he was just an enticing wizard who cast a spell on you with his lips. Whatever it was, you foolishly decided you would kiss him after you removed his make up, and so you did.

You gently removed what remained of his make up that wasn't washed out by the crying and the drinking. You sighed at your good job and leaned over, running your fingers delicately over his skin.

"This is probably wrong." You hesitated, questioning your choices, yet feeling brave. "But I think I can at least have that, right...? Pardon me for this, Leone."

You closed the distance between you both to press your lips ever-so-sweetly on his own, wanting to linger, but not quite feeling deserving enough either. It was short-lived but precious and tingly. You felt your heart flutter and you swore you also felt his hand twitch slightly next to you.

You sighed. You yearned for more. You wished you could just collapse and fall asleep by him. Your responsibilities thankfully got the best of you.

"I love you. Please love yourself too, we all want to see you better. I know I do. Depend on me sometimes too, okay?" You breathed out to him, secretely hoping he heard you in his dreams and maybe accepted your selfish and heartfelt request.

You were tired. You needed to sleep and you were afraid you'd act more and more foolishly if you stayed with him any longer.

You reluctantly leaned away from him and got up, making sure to tuck him in thoroughly inside the blankets before you left.

You'd leave a note to Bruno to not wake him up in the morning.

When Abbachio woke up in the morning, much later than he usually did, he was disappointed, yet not surprised to be struck with a splitting headache.

"Fuck..." He groaned, holding his heavy head in his hands, "Not again..."

He inhaled deeply only to realise he was strangely met by a sweet familiar scent mixed with the stinging wine he drowned himself in.

Out of doubt, he looked over the bedside table and found a water bottle and some aspirin as well as a small note.

He grabbed the note and squinted at it, trying to read it with his still hazy eyes.

'Water helps with hangover headaches. Tablets too, obviously :P . Take it easy, Bruno gave you the day off.'

Was that you? That was most definitely you, he thought. And that fruity scent on his face and hands must be you too. There were no doubt now.

It didn't take him long to put two and two together. He would have been much quicker-witted if he wasn't so hungover. He remembered you had a mission last night, you probably went home by then and helped him to bed out of sheer empathy, sweet as you were.

Abbachio sighed and rubbed his face. He was both ashamed and extremely grateful towards you. It must have been so draining to come take care of him after you risked your life out there.

God he felt like shit. Again, he was being a burden on the people he loved, all because of his selfish choices. But knowing you, you'd probably hate him thinking that of himself, and tell him you were fine with it and happy to help. You had such a kind heart.

"... How did she even get me upstairs...? This tiny dwarf."

He groaned and sat up, smoothing his fingers over his lips. He blushed at his own thoughts. He swore he dreamt of you kissing him as he was asleep, and the feeling was still pretty vivid.

But he couldn't be sure. Drunken dreams were weird sometimes.

Thinking of making it up to you, he took the medicine and downed it with water, his mind filled with thoughts of you only.

He deserved at least that.

[lol-im-done]

The Avenger & Baron of Sokovia

Thank you so much to @sagyunaro​ for coming up with this idea! I wrote too much to fit into a one shot so I’m splitting this into two parts!

Part One:

Part Two:

You can find this on my A03 as well: Anti_Social_Teen

Word Count: 2,818

What happened that horrible day in Sokovia affected you more than any other mission you had been on in your time with the Avengers. You had seen death, had seen destruction, narrowly avoided it every second of your life but as you lay on the ground of Novi Grad that day, trying so hard to keep the chunk of Sokovia close to the ground with your telekinetic abilities it became too much. You vividly remembered placing yourself close to the middle of the rising piece of Earth that Ultron was going to use like an atomic bomb to wipe out billions of innocent lives. 

“What are you doing?” Steve asked, running over to you. 

“I’m going to try and put it back down!” you replied, standing your ground. Wanda had come over with her brother Pietro, watching you with interest.

“Isn’t that what FRIDAY explained to us. The higher it goes the bigger the blast radius,” you said. Steve nodded, worry filling his face but you gave him a brave smile. Closing your eyes in concentration, your hands filled with dark green energy, tendrils beginning to snake down into the ground as it continued to rise. “I got this! Go!” you instructed them. It had felt like hours, you had never pushed yourself to these limits before and couldn't stop yourself from falling to your knees before you knew it your body collapsed completely but you persisted, your whole body and the area around you glowing green. Vaguely you could hear the others try to reach you but you shook your head silently, tears streaming down your face in pain and frustration, blood seeping out of your nose as you remained glued to the ground. 

The guilt of your weakness spread like a poison in your body, you weren't strong enough and by the end it didn't help when Novi Grad fell. They had told you that you had kept it at half the height it was supposed to be at, that your telekinetic energy had kept most of the big debris from falling but you ignored their voices of reason. It was Thor who had found you floating in the sea, passed out but cocooned by your powers. Numbness engulfed your body the instant you had awakened and you watched silently for the next few days as decisions were made on how the cleanup and relief would proceed. The answer became clear to you for what you needed to do next. 

“You don’t have to stay,” Steve murmured, placing his hand on your shoulder in a reassuring manner. 

“Who will I be if I don’t,” you replied sadly. Steve could see how much this meant to you, so he gave you a warm strong hug before walking off to the Quinjet to return to the Compound leaving you in Sokovia. The terms of your stay were strictly humanitarian, to help cleanup the destruction, your identity kept a secret. Only around official Stark Relief Foundation workers did you use your telekinetic powers in the worst part of the devastation. With a solemn look in your eyes you waved your hands, slowly lifting chunks of peoples homes, their belongings falling into the ash and rubble. After a few hours of this you would walk around, picking up trinkets, photos, anything you could recover. You’d return to your small apartment Tony had gotten you, and cleaned them as best you could with your kit of brushes before returning them to the main headquarters where refugees and survivors could seek help. It was only supposed to be a week but you stayed longer. It was mainly your guilt that kept you tied to Sokovia but soon you felt yourself growing connected to the suffering country. It was another day at the Stark Relief Foundation building, you were slowly picking up Sokovian, Wanda had even facetimed you for a few hours each night trying to teach you some phrases. It was mostly silent, somber in this wing of the building where survivors would arrive, where recovered bodies were documented. Slowly your eyes caught sight of a distraught man a few feet away. 

“He just found his family in the rubble,” Lana murmured to you, eyes glancing at the man who sat a few chairs away. She brought out a clipboard but you took it gently from her hands. 

“I got this,” you replied and she gave you a grateful smile before walking off. With a sigh you walked over to the man, who was covered in dust.  

“Hi. Ahoj,” your soft voice broke through the wall of silence the man had created around himself. It took him a few seconds to lift his head finally and the look of heartbreak on his face made a lump form in your throat. 

“My name is (Y/N). I’m a volunteer and I’m going to help you fill out some forms,” you said, taking a seat next to him. “English or Sokovian?” you asked. “English is fine,” he finally spoke, coughing to clear his throat. Giving him a sympathetic look, you passed him a handkerchief from your pocket which he took gratefully. 

“I know this is a difficult time but I’m here to help with whatever you need. We will help you find shelter, get food and financial assistance and help with the death certificates of your family,” you explained. The way you spoke to him was unusual, straightforward but kind. It was the custom to speak formally almost coldly to strangers, but there was a softness in your eyes. “So what is your name?” you asked. 

“Zemo. Helmut Zemo,” he replied. Giving him a small smile you brought out your pen and got to work. In the next few days you came to realize that Helmut Zemo was not just any ordinary citizen, he was a Baron. Even as Sokovia continued to crumble at the institutional level, Helmut played an active part in donating funds to the local organizations. He became a familiar face, always an active presence during the day and after a few weeks of working together you could comfortably call him a friend. You still didn’t reveal your true identity, there was a growing sentiment from some in Sokovia against the Avengers but overall most people were grateful you all had saved the world. You still struggled with guilt of course but things were becoming easier. Spending time with Helmut was peaceful, he would often read aloud to you when you spent time at each other's apartments after a long day of work. Even with his wealth he chose a modest apartment a few blocks from yours. Things always remained strictly friendly, both of you keeping conversations light and rarely bringing up your origins or past life. It became a comfort to listen to his Sokovian accent, look into those captivating brown eyes. Helmut often felt the start of a warm feeling in his chest when he heard your airy laugh after his terrible jokes but he forced himself to suppress the feeling. Just when you thought it would be a good idea to open up to him, to begin to reveal your true identity that was all shattered the moment you entered his apartment one evening. 

It was dark, only the crackling fire from the fireplace providing a light source. He stood back turned to you, hunched over the fire a glass of whiskey clenched in his hand. 

“Helmut?” you whispered, closing the door softly behind you so as to not startle him. 

“You’re an Avenger,” Helmut whispered, and when he turned around you saw something in his eyes you had never seen before. Anger and hatred, it was amplified by the reflection of flames in his eyes.  

“Who told you?” you asked, trying to stay calm but your heart pounded beneath your shirt. 

“I heard the Stark Relief Foundation workers talking about you. How Stark was coming to visit you soon,” he sneered. “Is it true?” Helmut asked. Wordlessly you lifted your hand twisting it summoning your telekinetic energy. That was all he needed, he began shaking his head a dark laugh coming from his mouth. “What is this then? Why are you here?” Zemo snapped, pacing close to the fireplace.

“I stayed to help,” you began but he threw his glass against the wall, shattering the glass cup. It stunned you, making you jump in place.

“Help,” he said coldly. 

“Helmut please let me explain-,” you tried to say, your voice wavering with emotion. 

“No! You played a part in it! You’re the reason why my family is dead!” Helmut screamed. Those last words hit you like a slap in the face, face falling as your heart seemed to crack right down the middle. It felt like all the air had been sucked from the room and before you knew it all the guilt and shame and memories hit you like a ton of bricks. There was no use in trying to say something, when you opened your mouth no words came out. Helmut made no attempt to move towards you, no attempt to take back his words as you turned away and stumbled out of the door. Heavy sobs began to slip out of your mouth, as memories flashed in your head, the screams of the innocent civilians, the bodies of the dead. Through tears you made your way back to your apartment, packed and left Sokovia that same night. 

You didn’t return to the Compound after that, choosing to stay in Switzerland in a home that Tony owned and had let you stay in. He felt for you, as did the others on the team as much as they wanted you to return to them. This is where you stayed in solitude and when the Accords were announced you had made no attempt to be a part of the rift between Steve and Tony. You thought it was ridiculous and when you were summoned by Ross you ignored the summons and remained secluded. It wasn’t until it was all over that you were granted a loose term of conditions to keep your freedom even though you hadn’t done anything. It shocked you, when you found out what Helmut had done, the plan he orchestrated. How could the kind man from Sokovia become so full of hatred and vengeance? You knew his wife, son and father had died. You had been the one to fill out their death certificates but never could you imagine it would end like this. He was often on your mind as best as you tried to shake him off but he had made an impact on your life. It wasn’t until one sunny morning that you received an unexpected call.

 “Hello?” you answered the phone as you stirred the sugar into your tea.

“Is this (Y/N) (L/N)?,” the German voice asked. 

“Yes. Who are you?” you asked a bit suspiciously.

“I’m Warden of the Berlin Detention Center where Helmut Zemo is being kept. He’s asked to meet with you and we would normally deny this request but seeing as you are an Avenger-,” the Warden began but you cut him off.

“I was an Avenger,” you corrected but he continued. 

“It is up to you if you would like to see him. If not I can tell him his request was denied,” he finished. A strange feeling filled you, why bother seeing him? He hated you, tore your family apart in revenge. But then you thought about the hurt and pain you both faced in Sokovia. 

“I’ll be there in 48 hours,” you finally said into the phone. Even after he had hung up you stayed there by the kitchen counter, tears silently flowing down your cheeks. 

Following the armed guards you clutched your purse tightly, the nerves finally hitting you at what you were about to do. It felt like you were in a dream as the door slid open, revealing a dark cell with a glass wall and a chair in front of it. There was no movement from the cell as you sat down on the chair they provided you, you actively avoided Helmut’s gaze, setting your bag down. You kept your eyes trained on the piece of lint on your jeans until he finally spoke up breaking the silence, but there was tension. 

“Will you not look at me (Y/N)?” that rich Sokovian voice that haunted your dreams asked.

“I didn’t think you’d want to look into the face of your family’s killer,” you said, the words sounded harsher than you intended. By the time you looked up to meet his eyes, Helmut’s face was a vision of regret. 

“I should have never said those things to you,” Helmut said, coming closer to the wall that separated him from you. He looked differently from the last time you had seen him, he looked defeated. His chestnut hair was tousled, stubble beginning to grow on his jawline. 

“Yet you did and never gave me a chance to explain,” you snapped crossing your arms.  

“My anger was misplaced. I see that now,” Helmut began. “I saw the footage, what they had recovered. The way you tried to save Novi Grad,” Helmut said, emotion filling his voice. 

“We tried to save Novi Grad,” you interrupted, even if you could see how the Avengers held responsibility, you weren’t going to allow him to slander your family. Helmut grimaced at your words. “Why did you ask me here?” you snapped, eyes hardening. Helmut inched closer to the glass, nervously running his hands through his hair.

“I’ve been contemplating what I’ve done. I realized that even if you had not been involved I hurt you and you didn’t deserve that especially after what I did to you in Sokovia,” Helmut said. Lifting your brow you allowed him to continue.“If you let me I would like to explain myself, not excuse myself. I want to tell you everything,” Helmut said. It felt like torture for Helmut, every second waiting for your response. 

“Alright. I’ll listen,” you finally said, leaning back into your chair. The faintest smile filled Helmut’s face as he began his story. In the weeks and months that passed by, it became a weekly occurrence to meet him. Berlin wasn’t too far from where you resided in Switzerland, the train ride was a part of your weekly routine now. When Tony had called you, expressing his concern at your visitations you explained that this was purely rehabilitation, for both you and Helmut. He wasn’t entirely convinced but he couldn’t stop you, not even Steve when he tracked you down to talk to you.

“(Y/N),” Steve greeted, surprising you in the alleyway by your apartment. “Steve! Christ you scared me,” you snapped, holding a hand to your heart. Giving him a stern look he chuckled. 

“Are you going to see Zemo?” Steve asked.

“Yes. Are you here to try and stop me?” you asked, tilting your head.

“I just want to make sure he’s not using you, manipulating you,” Steve sighed. “Don’t you trust me Steve?” you asked, stepping closer to him.

“I don’t trust him,” Steve replied. 

“He was in the wrong. I know that Steve but everyone deserves a chance to explain themselves, a second chance. You of all people should understand that,” you said. Steve stared down at you with those intense blue eyes but he knew you were right. Giving you a strong hug he retreated back into the shadows. 

“What are you thinking of miláčik?” Helmut whispered one day as you listened to him read a book on Russian history. History was something you both enjoyed so you would bring books every week for him. Heat rose in your cheeks at the way he called you darling but you shrugged. 

“How much I enjoy spending time with you. Even in this prison,” you murmured. Helmut smiled, feeling a joy he seldom felt since his family had perished. 

“I wish there wasn’t this glass between us,” Helmut said, but his tone surprised you. It was almost sad, and when you met his eyes there was something new in them. This was your chance, to admit your growing feelings for Helmut. Helmut watched you lean forward, giving him a closer view of your face. It was constantly in his dreams, your eyes his new favorite color. 

“Helmut I-,” you began to say, eyes full of adoration and sincerity but the words became stuck in your throat. Helmut’s confusion at your loss of words turned into horror as you slowly became dust, eyes wide with fear. The last thing he saw was your glowing green hand outstretched trying to reach him as he slammed his body against the glass, voice screaming your name until you were nothing. He was stuck in his cell of helplessness and loss, and that is how he stayed for five more years. 

[dollslayer]

Fight or Flight

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve comes clean, in the aftermath and shock you turn to the one person who you know you can trust.

W/C: 2,369

Warnings: Implied cheating, angst, swearing

A/N: Hello! I wrote this for @sweetlyscared 's 1k celebration (congrats, it's well deserved!), prompt is in bold. I'm still pretty new to writing and this is my first true Angst fic so any and all reblogs/comments are super appreciated! Please check out my other stuff if you liked this fic!! Cheers!

PART TWO I Masterlist

____

The feeling of everything crashing around you was slow. Like your world was moving in slow motion as you processed the words. Everything else he was saying became distorted, going to waste as he tried desperately to explain himself to you. All you could hear clearly was your own breathing while you tried to will yourself to do something, anything.

Fight or flight is a funny thing, you were always so feisty and eager to fight back, A Bulldog, Steve had affectionately called you. But when he told you he was in love with someone else, that he has been in love with someone else for months, your body couldn’t find anything in it but to walk away.

Your breathing picked up and your eyes searched the ground, refusing to meet his. You felt your legs raise you up to stand and start walking away, unsure of your destination. When you pivoted to leave the room your eyes met his briefly, staring emotionlessly as his desperately searched for anything at all in yours.

“Where are you going? Doll, please, can we talk about this? I’m, I’m so sorry I-”

Whatever else he was saying wasn’t heard over the noise of opening the door and shutting it behind you. You didn’t know where you were going or what you were feeling other than the obvious. You were in a state of shock, it’s one thing to hear awful news and another to understand that it’s true but you were fastly approaching that truth head-on.

You paused for a moment in the hall and heard no movement come after you. You almost let yourself be surprised but he’d admitted he gave up on you a long time ago, so it only makes sense he wouldn’t fight your exit. You kept walking and tried to hold the floodgates of your heart closed for a bit longer.

Flashes of what was said come back to you slowly as reality sets in. “I can’t put this off any longer. I want you to know that I will always love you, but there’s someone else.”

Your head hurt like it would as if you were already crying, the blood pumping in your ears and pressure building in your temples that would no doubt evoke a long-standing headache. Your face felt hot as you stepped into the elevator, maybe you’d go for a walk in an attempt to fend off your tears. Or maybe you’d walk to a safer place to have an emotional breakdown. Whichever is easier.

Brisk gusts of air greet you as you exit the building, making you realize you left your jacket on the arm of the couch. You took a second to evaluate yourself and noticed you’d also walked out in your house slippers and a thin pair of leggings. Trying to evade the cold you tucked yourself in the doorway of a bodega down the street and dialed Bucky.

Two rings and he picked up.

“Hello?”

“Did you know?”

The silence on the line only reminds you of the blood pumping in your ears. The silence tells you everything you needed to know.

“Liste-”

You hang up.

You’re breathing even harder now. Who else knew? For how long? How long was I the joke? You need to find somewhere else to be soon or all these strangers are going to get an eyeful of a grown woman sobbing. You dial the last number you’d expect to at a time like this.

“What’s happening, shortstack?”

You can hear Tony’s grin through the phone and his easy greeting gives you momentary comfort.

“Can I come over? Something happened.”

“I’ll let Jarvis know to let you in” Tony’s tone is understanding, not needing you to explain further, just letting you know you can come to him.

____

Tony’s only seven blocks from yours and Steve’s shared apartment, a fact you’re grateful for when you feel your feet aching every time they hit the pavement. The conversation replays in your head, you try to word what happened in your head and your anger starts overtaking the heartbreak. It’s almost a welcome reprieve from the settling heartbreak but you’re not sure if you’d rather be numb to it completely.

When the elevator doors open Tony’s waiting for you with two tumblers of scotch in hand. You shake your head and move past him to the couch. He joins you on the opposite armchair and sets both his elbows down on his spread knees, resting his face in his hands.

“Would you like to talk about it or not talk about it?” He asks with a sigh.

You don’t make eye contact with him so you don’t cry, choosing to focus on the Iron Man coffee table book you’d gotten as a gag gift for Tony all those Christmases ago. It almost distracts you enough to laugh, the fact that he just has it out. But you need to tell someone what happened and get it all out before you can let yourself feel it all.

“Steveisinlovewithsomeoneelse,” You rushed it all out in one breath afraid if you didn’t get it out fast enough that you’d break. “He has been for months. He said he doesn’t know when it all changed but when he was with her things just clicked,” you paused to collect yourself, “But don’t worry, I’ll always hold a special place in his heart and he hopes this won’t affect the future of the team or our friendship.”

“Oh, and he’s really sorry.” you added.

You laughed bitterly and shook your head in disbelief. His delivery had been so cold but so sincere, very to the point but pained in its delivery. “I just, whatever we had, it’s just gone. Things are just different now, with her, this kills me though, please believe me. You’re still really special to me.” Bullshit. Special enough to act as a placeholder until someone better comes, special enough to cast aside.

You’re broken momentarily from your spiral into anger by the sound of a glass hitting a coaster a little too hard. Looking up, you find Tony quietly seething. He and Steve aren’t close by any means so you figured that he wouldn’t have known, it’s why you called him over anyone else.

He moves slowly to your side on the couch and pulls you into his side. You can smell his aftershave and what you think might be burned grease from one of the many things he’s been tinkering with in the lab, it smells like him, like comfort.

“That fucking asshole. Unbelievable, I don’t even…” He leaves the thought unfinished.

His hands move up and down your arms in a soothing motion and you finally let yourself have it. You don’t even realize you’re crying until you feel the tears wet his shirt when you bury your face in. You sniffle up tears and snot when your face heats up.

There’s no way to know how long Tony lets you sob into him, no doubt ruining his vintage Depeche Mode shirt. Somewhere in the back of your mind you make a mental note to buy him a new one later. But for now you’ll just allow yourself to cry and you can deal with the world in the morning.

____

Tony lets you fall asleep on his chest, feeling somewhere between furious and heartbroken by proxy. He thinks about letting you sleep and giving Steve a piece of his mind but figures that’s not what you need right now. Your phone sits on the table and he touches the screen to check the time. No notifications on your homescreen except for a missed call from Bucky and an old photo of Steve making a funny face as your background.

Had Steve not even tried to call you? Had he not even tried to go after you? Why was Bucky of all people the only one to be trying to get a hold of you? Prick.

Selfishly Tony is glad that he has a good reason to be rude to Steve now, he has to admit. You two had always been close but when you and Steve started dating he saw less and less of you. He couldn’t fault you for it though, you were so in love with Steve and you knew that the relationship between the two of them was strained so you kept your distance a bit.

He thought of all the sacrifices you’d made for Steve. You gave up your childhood home in the Bronx that your parents had willed to you to move in with him because he wanted you to be closer to the tower. You gave up a promotion and transfer to DC when you were still just an agent, granted you were an avenger now but it doesn’t matter, he’d made a very big deal out of you turning it down. You gave up the friendship the two of you had.

It was incredible, really. How much you had done for him only for him to turn around and love someone else behind your back. Brave enough to fight aliens and terrorists but too cowardly to break up with you and leave you with some dignity. Did anyone else know about this?

Tony had to stop himself from getting too angry, afraid he’d wake you up. So instead he went back to plotting up schematics for the half-finished suit mod he’d been in the middle of when you called.

____

It’s been a week and you still haven’t properly talked to Steve. After two days on Tony’s couch you need to look at things from a logical stance. Where am I going to stay? It’s not like you had your parent’s place anymore and you didn’t want to sign a new lease on an apartment. You could always move into the tower but that meant a higher chance of running into Steve.

You were thinking about all of this out loud to Tony when he offered you the guest bedroom in his penthouse. You were shocked, he’s always been a generous man but after you drifted apart from him you were surprised he even let you stay these past few days. Maybe now was a good time to rebuild your friendship with him and have some space from work.

What’s work going to be like? You agree and go on a temporary leave from the team, just a month to collect yourself. If you really wanted to you could go back but the thought of seeing everyone that knew about Steve’s affair was humiliating and enraging in one go.

It turns out Sam had been playing therapist to Steve in all of this, Nat figured it out through some sleuthing, and Wanda had inadvertently heard his thoughts about her. And none of them thought to tell you? To save you from the anguish but to let it fester? Steve wasn’t the only one that betrayed you. They all had.

What will I say to him? Should I say anything to him? Turns out the answer was ‘nothing’. You texted him to let him know you were moving out and you’d be by to get your things as a courtesy. You walked into an empty apartment and you were almost relieved.

He’d chosen to not be here but he’d left you a letter on the kitchen counter next to a framed photo of the two of you on vacation last year. You scoff but don’t touch the letter. Every ounce of restraint you have is being used as you leave it untouched. But you don’t need to know what excuses or apologies he has on deck, nothing he could say would exonerate him of his wrong-doings. You had no intentions of speaking to him but secretly you hoped he suffered as he stewed in his guilt and inner-turmoil. He deserves to.

When you pack you leave every gift he ever gave you, taking only what you’d brought with you in the first place. You take one look at the unmade bed and almost go to make it out of habit but then you think of the two of them there together. All the long missions you went on without him, all the times you stayed late at work or went out with your friends. How many times had he been here with her while you were there?

You end up only leaving with two suitcases and a backpack full of things. Tony waits for you in the lobby, understanding you wanted your space when you went to get your things in case Steve was there.

The elevator doors open to him taking a selfie with a couple of fans and shaking hands. He’s all too happy to be recognized but when he sees you his eyes soften. Not out of pity, but fondness, like he’s proud of you for getting out.

He sends you a questioning look with a silent question. Are you okay?

You smile at him and for the first time in days it’s a genuine, non-placating, happy-to-see-you smile. It’s okay, I’ll be okay.

He takes one of your suitcases from you and helps you load them into the back of the car before opening the door for you. The drive back to Tony’s is silent but comfortable. The trust you have in each other is strong and unspoken. Something you’ve always been grateful for between the two of you.

He doesn’t ask you about Steve or what happened, always letting you come to him first, which you appreciate. And when you talk he just listens. No bullshit unsolicited advice about moving on or how everything happens for a reason or getting back out there, just listens.

You know the road ahead is long and it will be difficult, but you have someone in your corner and the knowledge that what happened isn’t your fault and that you’re a badass and fuck Steve Rogers and fuck anyone else that did you wrong in all of this. Maybe you’ll forgive them someday but for now you’re gonna focus on you and work on building yourself back up. You’re ready for the ups and downs, you’re ready to fight.

[missymurphy1985]

The Writer (part 10) Final Chapter - Epilogue

Warning - childbirth

Massive thank you goes out to @heidimoreton for your trust and faith with your idea - couldn't have done this without you 💖

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch

It had been nearly a full year since that first encounter. Twelve months of pure bliss. Your roommate was married to your brother now, and had a job as Charlie's tutor - Thomas still hadn't allowed him back at the school so Laura had been hired as his home tutor. You'd moved into Arrow House when you discovered there was a mini Shelby on the way.

Flashback

"Y/n, come here..." Polly had been over that morning to help you make plans for Christmas dinner. Your brother and Laura were coming, along with the Shelby family, and you were panicking about the whole thing. You wanted it to be perfect. You entered the kitchen where Polly suddenly grabbed under your left breast, and you instantly pulled away.

"What are you doing?"

"Just stand still will you?"

"Stand still while my boyfriend's aunt gropes me??"

"Yes." You furrowed your brow in confusion but allowed her to continue.

"This isn't awkward at all Polly, wanna tell me what's going on?" Thomas walked in right at that moment, and froze instantly.

"Polly... Polly what are you doing?" He eyed her, but not suspiciously like you did. It was more of a 'knowing' kind of look.

"Well well Thomas.. hardly surprising considering you two can barely keep your hands off each other..." She smirked.

You were totally confused, darting your eyes between them

"Someone wanna enlighten me?"

Tommy looked to the floor, rubbing his eyes, before smiling. A huge grin, followed by a long sigh.

"Remember telling me you didn't have children with Jack because you thought you couldn't have them?" Polly asked and you nodded, still trying to work out what was going on.

"You weren't infertile, y/n." Tommy leaned against the door, his eyes slightly damp as he glanced at your stomach. The penny still hadn't dropped.

"Someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on here?"

Tommy nodded at Polly who left the room, smiling to herself. Tommy pulled you over to him, his hands stroking your arms.

"After Grace died, I vowed never to love again. It felt like I would be cheating on her, disgracing her memory. She didn't need replacing, and I certainly couldn't replace her. When you lost Jack, you felt the same, which is exactly why I think fate brought us together. We discovered there was enough room in our hearts for another love. Now, it seems we need to make room for one more." His right hand took yours, and he placed them both over your stomach gently. The penny dropped, and your mouth hung open in stunned silence.

"I'm... I'm pregnant?"

"You are. Pol?" Polly came back in and threw her arms around you, squealing with delight.

"But I didn't think I could... Jack and I tried for years..."

"You clearly weren't the infertile one, y/n. I'd say you're around six weeks already, you're glowing! That's how I could tell," Polly had tears in her eyes, and you felt your emotions coming to the surface.

"I can just about handle one of you crying, both of you will send me over the edge, knock it off!" Thomas laughed, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve making your eyes water more, a choked sob leaving your chest.

He pulled you close, his chin resting on the top of your head as you sobbed with happiness into his shoulder.

"A baby..." You choked.

"Our baby. And now we know you can have them, don't think we're stopping here either," he winked, making you grin. You'd have a football team of Shelby's if you could.

Present Day

You were both lying in bed having a lazy Sunday morning. Tommy's hand drifting over your baby, still tucked warmly inside you but due to make her appearance in the next two weeks. Occasionally she would kick his hand - the clear bump visible making both of you smile.

"She's going to be famous - Polly told me," you grinned, clasping your hand over his, resting it where she'd kicked.

"She's going to be beautiful. Any thoughts on names?"

"Yes. What do you think of Jacqueline Grace?" You asked, nervously. A mix of the two people who'd brought you both together. He looked down at your belly, moving his body down to kiss it lightly, smiling.

"I love it. It's perfect.. thank you.."

You grimaced slightly as a sharp pain shot through your abdomen, you'd had a few over the last few days but put them down to over exertion - you'd refused to rest up like Tommy had ordered, continued the renovation planning of the house.

"You okay?" He asked as you tensed.

"Yes - Ada warned me about this, it's just my body preparing that's all, nothing to worry about." Your hand suddenly tightened on his as another pain gripped you, you sat up and gritted your teeth.

"Shit..." Tommy gasped as a sudden gush of water flooded the sheet underneath you. He looked to you, both of you panicking but smiling through the fear.

"Call Polly - I think your daughter wants to meet us a little earlier than planned!" He kissed you, then shot up and ran down the stairs to the phone in his office.

You stood up, walking round in circles, rubbing your belly as another wave of pain took over. You were doubled up, haunched over a chair when Tommy came back in the room, panting through the pain.

"She's out - Michael's out looking for her... We need to call a doctor -"

"No! I wanted this to be family only Thomas, I don't want doctors fussing or drugs, I can do this without them... Just rub my back, please.." he moved to your side, his hand stroking firmly over your lower back.

"I don't know what to do y/n!"

"You do as I need you to do, then when Polly gets here you can leave if you need to.."

"Not a chance am I letting you go through this alone - I'm staying right here if you'll let me?" You turned to him surprised, but nodded.

"Fuck... Tommy this really hurts..." Another wave of pain. "Take me downstairs, I need water..." He led you slowly down the stairs into the lounge, before fetching you a glass of water. You paced the room, the pressure in your pelvis was excruciating but you tried to remember Ada and Polly's advice as much as possible - breathing slowly, staying calm.

"Thomas where is she?!" You screamed, leaning over the back of the sofa. The contractions were coming quickly and getting more painful. Weren't these things supposed to take hours?? Days even??

"Come lie down, rest - you need to keep your strength up..." He lay you down on the floor, but you quickly realised that wasn't what you wanted. You moved into a kneeling position, your upper body resting against Tommy's chest as he breathed with you through each contraction.

"Tommy, I can feel her pushing down..." You panted. He suddenly took charge - lifting your nightdress up and ripping your panties away from you. Reaching a hand between your legs, he pulled away sharply.

"Then push - she's coming now whether Polly is here or not, I can feel her head - Push!"

You bore down, gripping onto his shoulders for support. The pain was stifling. His hand between your legs, he could feel his baby's head slowly pushing through.

Pulling away from you slightly, he grabbed a cushion from the sofa and placed it between your knees.

One of the maids must have heard the commotion, and she entered the room carrying a bowl of cool water and towels.

"Mr Shelby let me help, I've delivered three sisters..." He nodded, holding your nightdress up by your waist as Clara focussed on the baby.

"Thomas Shelby, you put that cock anywhere near me again and I'll cut it off, you hear me??"

"Shh now you know that's not true.... I've got you, come on... I'll breathe with you, eh?"

"Mrs Shelby you need to pant - do not push until I tell you to, okay?" Clara ordered.

Tommy leaned back, looking directly into your eyes.

"With me... Come on..." You found strength in those blue eyes, as he panted with you. Your eyes watering from the immense pain between your legs. "Stay with me, that's it, I've got you.."

"Heads out, push now Mrs Shelby!"

A scream left you as your body took over.

"How much more Clara?!" Tommy asked, desperate not to see you suffering any more.

"We're nearly there now, one more Mrs Shelby.."

"You hear that? One more and our girl is here. Jacqueline Grace will be here in her Mama's arms, come on baby, you can do this I know you can." You shook your head to protest but again your body defied you.

"Tom... Shit shit shit...." The wave of pain, tied with your exhaustion, was almost too much to bear. You couldn't take anymore, you could see the blood on Tommy's shoulders through his shirt where your nails had dug into him. You rested your head on his chest, focussing on his heart beat as he kissed your head. One scream from you, followed swiftly by a baby's cry from underneath you as you slumped against him, completely exhausted.

A few minutes went by, as Tommy eased you onto the floor between his legs, pulling your nightdress clean off you. You didn't care that Clara saw you completely bare - there wasn't much more she could have seen at that point. Just as you regained your senses, your baby girl was placed on your chest, having been checked and cleaned by your new favourite maid.

"Congratulations Mr and Mrs Shelby, she's perfectly healthy," she smiled, handing her to you. She instinctively searched for your breast, hungrily suckling from you as a wave of pure love took over. You could feel Tommy shuddering slightly underneath you, unashamedly crying as he watched his daughter feed.

"You were so brave.. so strong.. you blew me away y/n, I'm so fucking proud of you..."

Once you'd been cleaned up and moved back upstairs in bed, Polly arrived. She stopped in the doorway in shock, seeing you lying in bed sleepily as your husband swayed back and forth, Jacqueline in his arms dozing.

"Better late than never, eh Pol?" He laughed, handing his daughter to his Aunt. She choked holding the little one close, kissing the top of her head gently.

You tried so hard to stay awake but you could feel your eyelids growing heavy. A small kiss placed on the top of your head sealed the deal.

"Sleep now Mama. You'll need your rest, because I'm putting another one of those in you at the earliest opportunity."

[bloodycassian]

A FEAST - Azriel x readder. Prompt - Reader is injured and knocked out for days. Cassian gets him to finally leave your side for one meal and Nyx brings a guest with him...

"The Dragons Song is the best one, hands down." Nesta argued, hacking through the brush.  "That one is full of the same scenes every time." You judged, pushing a branch out of the way. The jungle was a mess of twists and turns to work through, but thankfully one of the fishermen on the dock had sold you a compass at a descent price. "A little more right for a few more miles and we'll be there." You steered her on course.  "At least it dosent say 'honeydew' every scene." She made a fake gagging noise and you laughed. The sound was muffled in the crowded forest. She hacked her way through the brush, one vine at a time. Until you finally reached the clearing. It was hot in the direct sun, a few degrees different than what the shade of the forest had been. You paced the perimiter, meeting her at the other side. "You mean Cassian dosen't like honeydew?" You wiggled your eyebrows at her.  "Az does?" She challenged, earning a laugh from you. "The ones that you like are predictable beyond measure." You countered, earning a quick smile before your attention snapped across the meadow. To a giant hog serpent with venomous tusks that gleamed with their clear liquid. You swore and you and Nesta both drew swords at the same time.  + Nesta ended the hog, but not before it had the chance for those razor sharp tusks to marr your legs with deep wounds. The venom stung, flowing into your bloodstream and paralyzing you slowly. You gasped at the sheer blinding pain it brought. "Nes-" You choked out between sobs. "Tell Az... Tell Az I love him." You smiled to her, putting a hand on her cheek. "No, no way. You're gonna tell him yourself. Stay awake. We're on the way." She reached deep to that bond to Cassian, and a flare of alertness greeted her. Then, a thrill of fire. "On the way. Rhys will be there in a few. Are you okay?" "Fine, she's delirious. She needs a healer and a detox for the venom." She thought back, sighing when she felt Rhys' presence. "Wheres Az?" You managed out of your chattering teeth. You were losing the fight against the venom quickly. It would have you under in a few minutes if Rhys didn't hurry to a healer. He placed a hand on you and darkness surrounded.  "Cassian will-" He started to Nesta, "I know, get her safe." She rushed, urging him to winnow you already. When Cassian saw the amount of blood spilled, he cursed.  "Most of it was the beast." Nesta cleaned her sword on an overgrown leaf that jutted down into the meadow.  Her hands shook when she sheathed it. "Nes." He stopped her when she turned. "Nes..." He repeated, giving her a long look. She tried to hide her face, the terror there. "Lets go." He pulled her to his side and took off, holding her close to him. He said nothing about the tears that flowed to his shoulder. He just gripped her tighter.   + Azriel had nearly broken the door when he stormed in. And he hadn't left your side since. Nesta stayed when she could, letting Azriel relax enough to sleep now and again. He trusted her to wake him if anything changed in your status.  When he woke, he heard his brother's voice first. Quiet an hurried in tone, him and Nesta argued by the door. "He wont leave. You've already tried, just leave him alone." Nesta was scolding. Cassian gripped her hands, then whipped his head over to his brother when he saw him stretching on the bench.  "Hey Az-" Cassian smiled, bounding over to his brother like a puppy. "You remmeber Madja saying it may take up to a week, right? How about you come to dinner up at the house with us."  "I dont want to miss if she-" "Come on, Nyx will be there. Mor's coming back from the continent tonight too." Cassian tempted, poking at the old flame Azriel carried for the female. She was still incredible, and one of Azriels best friends, but he no longer felt that flame towards her. You had come along and crushed it with a bat of your eyelashes and a few quick witted insults at Cas. Nesta started pulling him away, giving you an apologetic smile. "It would be nice for you to be there is all he means." She began pushing him out the door, despite his protests.  "Think about it! She wouldn't want you to be mourning while she's alive!" Cassian shouted, earning a smack from Nesta. Azriel smiled despite the dark nature of the situation. He pulled a chair up beside your resting body. It had been three days. How would he know if you were awake or not? He tugged on that dark link you shared together, and came up with the same unresponsiveness as before. He sighed, but took your hand anyway, falling asleep again to the sound of your soft breathing. + He decided to stay for just an hour. He would spare his family that much. He kissed you goodbye and tried his best to ignore the guilt he felt for leaving you behind. But Cassian was right. He knew that when you woke up you'd be upset about him not going. So he put on his brave face and flew up to the house of wind, to the joy of everyone. They clapped upon his arrival, making his cheeks burn. Mor gave him a hug and promised to catch up. But she hovered around a fae you hadn't met yet. A female that she watched with wide sparkling eyes. Azriel's chest bloomed with pride at the sight of them being so close, so full of life for each other.  He looked away from the two, and sent his shadows out to Rhys. And found what he was seeking. He darted over to the end of the table where the high lord and lady sat across from each other. The head table was empty, and filthy. "That's a small monster if I've ever seen one." He bent and scooped Nyx up from under the table. He wriggled and laughed.  "No monster Azzy." Nyx babbled, pulling on his uncle's hair.  "No pulling hair!" Rhys scolded, making Nyx laugh even more. Feyre sighed. "You're just having fun. How about we go for a fly down to-" "Don't say it, Az." Rhy's tone went from scolding to pleading. Even though the baby couldn't fly yet, it was one of his favorite things to do. He could see how Rhys' son would be skilled at flying with just the way he angled his head when accompanying. Az poked at Nyx's belly and they fought like that for a few moments, Nyx eventually winnowing away with the joy only a child could have.  Azriel froze, looking to the high lord and lady for comfort. Having a baby disappear in your arms was strange, even for Fae babies. "When'd he start doing that?" "Four days ago." Feyre sighed. She looked utterly exhausted. "We've been having to take turns staying up with him." Rhys held her hand across the table, they shared a sweet look together then they both whipped their heads to Nyx in unison. "Dont-" Feyre warned, giving her son a stern look as he pulled at the tablecloth. Amren gave the boy a look of discouragement as well when he looked around for someone to be laughing with him. He stopped after those silver eyes met his.  Nesta gave Az a smile from across the room where she and Cassian welcomed the toddoling boy. "Let's start training, Nyxie. Come on, show me what you got." Cassian got on his knees to the floor and the two began wrestling together. Azriel took a seat beside Rhys, picking at the crackers and cheese platter before him.  "When were we planning on going back to the Island?" Rhys asked, voice low. Cassian rolled with Nyx on the ground, making Nesta laugh when the boy pulled at Cas' hair. "I'm not going until my mate is healed. Maybe you should send them, see how much trouble they can get in."  Az asked, trying to keep the hinting out of his voice. He wanted to go take care of it on his own. The mission on the Island was not complete and he didn't want to risk anyone again. He'd rather do it and make sure it was a finished job. He couldn't bare to see you be hurt over a fellow Valkyrie getting hurt either. "You know they would kill each other.... or themselves trying to protect the other." Feyre smiled despite herself. She knew it was the truth. Her sister being happy for once was a joy like no other.  "Mom and Dad need to eat, Az you too." Cassian ordered. He bounced the boy on his legs, making him pretend fly. Azriel picked at the plate that appeared before him. The warm meat and stew looked incredible, but he couldn't bring himself to eat. The guilt was the only thing that weighed in his stomach. "I should go check on-" He began to say, folding his napkin back on the table. "How is she?" Cassian interrupted from the floor. Nesta was playing with Nyx now, rattling a toy around for him. Azriel kept his calm mask on, trying to fight the urge to check on you. The black haired boy looked to her with upset eyes. "Auntie?" He said, voice a bit whiny.  "Auntie is napping, she'll be back in a little while." Nes assured. Azriel's heart squeezed at the love Nyx showed. Then, the boy was gone.  The parents were digging into their plates. It was likely the only meal they'd shared together in the four days of taking turns watching Nyx. "Rhys-" Az began, terror sweeping his gut. Nyx was no where in sight. Nesta and Cassian both shot to their feet when they didn't spot him.  Then, the plates in front of Azriel clattered and shot food everywhere. Mor and her date yelped and fled their chairs, mor pushing the other female behind her. Azriel's shadows coiled, siphons glared ready to fight.  And Rhys didnt move as he observed the waking fae before him. The tug on Azriel's bond went taut. "Auntie here!" Nyx celebrated, patting your chest. You groaned and cracked open your eyes to see Azriel's shadows swirling about you. "Are you okay?!" Azriel gripped your shoulders,  his warm hands seeping into your thin shirt. The sweats you wore were now stained with whatever food had been on the table. Rhys put down his fork slowly. "I wasn't expecting to be this kind of snack Az..." You said softly. Rhy's cheeks went red. Mor laughed first, her date looked to her with bewilderment and worry. Cassian rushed over and picked Nyx up from your stomach. "I think there's a fork in my back." You said, voice gruff.  A hysterical laugh bubbled from Azriel, then the rest of them were cracking up. "Nyx... Thanks." Azriel breathed, and the boy began clapping.  + Once you were back on your feet and Madja had given you the go ahead to take it easy, you asked Azriel to go on a walk with you. The stretch of your legs was sore, but the good kind of sore that left you feeling better and better with each step. The cool wind from the Sidra whipped around you. He wrapped a wing around both of you as you reached the apex of a bridge.  "I owe that baby everything." He laughed, squeezing your hand tighter. The city was quiet, only soft music coming from the Rainbow and the calm trickle of the Sidra sounding out. "Nyx the Valkyrie deliverer."  You laughed together, leaning against the railing on the bridge. The streetlights above cast a wonderful color over you, illuminating you both in a silvery shade that matched the moonlight. "I love you." You said, resting your head against his shoulder. It had been a long night, and who knew how long of sleeping... but you were tired.  "Love you." He nudged you away so he could hook his finger under your chin and angle you up to kiss him. You wrapped your arms around him and compiled, letting the bond hum through you like a song.

[devilyn]

i want to tell you i love you | tsukishima kei

— alexa, play: i won’t let you feel alone again by demxntia

Every single time that I lay my eyes on your face I'm falling for your body and your mind too Forget the past we can leave it all behind you I won't let you feel alone again I won't let you feel alone again, no

— synopsis: sometimes, tsukki wished he could be more honest with himself. because if he had honestly told you how he felt about you, he wouldn’t be standing outside your front door wondering how he should beg you for forgiveness right now. — genre: angst, happy ending, implications of nsfw, tsukki’s pride again. — word count: 1.8k

He wondered if he should even be here, standing outside your door without calling you beforehand. He knew you had to leave in 10 minutes if you wanted to make it to lecture in time, and he knew if you saw him your day would most likely be ruined.

Yet he didn't move from his spot by your front door.

Did you even want to see him? Chances were low. If anything, him being here was more likely to hurt you. But without thinking, his feet had brought him to your doorstep. Softly, he cursed and ran his hand through his hair.

He never knew what to do when it came to you and your undefined relationship.

"What are we?" you finally asked the other night with a softness in your eyes he never wanted to let go. 

"Nothing," is what he instinctively said to keep the walls around his heart up, but he felt it throb in his chest when he saw the way your expression fell. 

He hated labels. He hated defining things. It's why the two of you lasted so long. But it was only natural that you'd want some sort of definition of what was happening between the two of you.

If his high school teammates saw him now, most of them would probably be disappointed in the type of man he became. In fact, they'd yell at him to treat you better. So what was stopping him?

Pride. It was always his pride, and he hated it.

He nearly jumped in surprise when he heard your front door click and then swing open. You let out a similar noise of shock before finally looking up and meeting his golden eyes. Your haggard expression managed to become even more tired than before just at the sight of his face, and suddenly, he regretted coming.

"Why…?" you trailed off, knowing he knew what you meant.

"...needed to see you," he answered honestly, though he almost regretted that too when your brows furrowed and your expression darkened.

"I have class," you responded coldly, stepping outside the warm comforts of your apartment to brave the winter air. Tsukishima could see your breath, and the way you shuddered at the cool wind that blew by.

"M'not here for sex," he murmured and you scoffed, checking the time on your phone.

"Yeah, I figured that. You never come anytime before 9pm for sex," you tilted your head. "In fact, you never come before 9pm at all."

He felt like he was going to collapse, but his feet stayed rooted to the ground as he gazed down at you with an unreadable expression. Despite that, your hard expression softened into one he couldn't understand. He watched you glance at your phone again and curse under your breath. You would be late if you didn't leave now.

"Look, Kei," you stated quickly. "I need to go or I'll be late to class."

"You can miss one lecture."

You rolled your eyes and took a step forward in an attempt to slip past him. He wasn't sure how, but he managed to pull his feet from their spot by your front door to plant himself in front of you instead, blocking you from taking any more than three steps away from your doormat. Your expression morphed into one of displeasure once again.

"Kei," you spoke in a warning tone. "I'm going to be late."

"I want to talk--"

"You had your chance to talk last week," you interrupted, voice calm. "So move out of my way, or I'll block your number and you definitely won't be able to talk to me then."

"Either way, we know you're going to end up blocking my number after today anyway," he retorted with narrowed eyes, as you desperately looked for a way around his unnecessarily tall frame. "so let's talk now."

You scoffed and threw your hands into the air in defeat. Quickly, you whirled back around and forcefully unlocked your front door before yanking it open. Before stepping inside, you turn your head to glare at him.

"This is your last chance, Tsukishima Kei." 

He flashed you a bitter smile before following you inside your familiar apartment.

"Excuse the mess," you mumble, dropping your bag by the couch as you head into the kitchen to grab him a beverage.

He closed the door behind him, the soft click of the lock sealing his fate. How would he go about this? It's not like he came here with a plan. He had acted on emotion alone, and somehow ended up here. Yet, as you said, this was his last chance to be honest with himself, and with you.

"I hope water's fine. I don't have anything else," your soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He watched you toss used tissues and napkins from the coffee table into the trash, briefly wiping it down with a wet towel before setting his beverage on top.

He took in your apartment for the first time during the daylight. It was uncharacteristically messy, with an emptied bag of chips tossed aside and a blanket and pillow laying haphazardly on your only couch. Your shoes were kicked to the side, and some clothes that he deemed as your pajamas were on the ground by the couch. As if you knew he was observing the sight, you hurriedly cleaned up the area.

"You don't need to clean," he said softly, though you made a soft noise that sounded like a snort. Clearly, you weren't going to listen to him.

"Sit," you told him as you made your way back to your bedroom to toss everything onto your bed to clean later. "And think thoroughly about what your excuse will be."

He did as you told him, taking a seat comfortably on your couch. He's spent an excessive amount of time here with you, usually with you perched in his lap with your lips against his. You always had this soft giggle he adored, and would try to draw out of you by kissing areas on your neck he knew were ticklish. He would rest his head on your lap after a long day of classes, volleyball practice, and generally dealing with others. You would run your hand through his hair absentmindedly while watching a show on your laptop, and he would gaze up at your focused expression with stars in his eyes. Then, his hand would reach up and pull you down for a kiss, which would eventually lead to more. 

There were many nights where he'd let you force him into washing the sheets because of the mess the two of you made, and you insisted it had to be a team effort because it was mostly his fault for initiating in the first place. Still, the sight of you writhing beneath him with red cheeks pleading for more always made the laundry day worth it. Plus, the bright smile you wore watching him reluctantly pull the sheets off your bed made him feel things he couldn't put into words.

"I love you," Tsukishima whispered softly to himself, as he heard the quiet pattering of your feet become louder with each step as you approached the common area. That was the lame excuse he had come up with.

You took the spot on the other side of the couch, turning so you could face him.

"So?" you tilted your head, fingers messing around with your phone as a distraction. "What's the excuse you came up with that was good enough to force me to skip class?"

He was silent, eyes taking in every inch of your face and the small changes that occurred over the span of the two days he hadn't seen you.

The bags under your eyes were new, along with your chapped lips and the sadness in your irises. His hand reached forward and he inched closer to you, leaning in to cup your cheek gently. Though you allowed the action, you stiffened and never tore your gaze from his. His golden-brown eyes flickered to your lips, thumb brushing over them slowly.

"I'm sorry," he finally mumbled, eyes closing as he leaned in again to rest his forehead against yours.

"For what?" you inquired quietly. You were testing him, and he knew it. He deserved it, really.

"For saying you meant nothing to me when that obviously isn't true," Tsukishima still had his palm cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing over your supple skin as he sighed quietly. The two of you were silent for a bit before you spoke up again, your voice shaky.

"...what am I supposed to believe, Kei? That you really want to be around me for more than just sex, or are you cruel enough to lie to my face to keep me around as someone you can run to whenever you wanna fuck?"

"You're worth more than that," his voice was weak, and he suppressed his pride that scolded him for speaking his true feelings. "And I'm sorry that I made you feel like you weren't. I'm sorry that I disproved my actions with my words because I was scared of giving my heart to someone."

He finally opened his eyes, and his heart trembled at the sight of your teary expression.

"I can't forgive you so easily, you know," your fingers reached up to trace the outline of his jaw, and a pleased hum left his lips.

"I'll make it up to you, until you believe me," he placed his hand over yours, bringing your knuckles to his lips and pressing light kisses to your fingertips. Your gaze was soft, admiring the adoration in his eyes.

"I like you a lot," you whimpered weakly, and he couldn't help but smile. He leaned down to finally kiss you like he had been wanting to since he first saw you, his fingers intertwining with yours.

"I know," he mumbled against your lips, and you weakly smacked his shoulder to which he snickered.

"Do you like me…?" you asked quietly, voice even smaller than before, as if you were afraid of his answer.

"...yeah. A lot," he answered honestly, and his heart swelled up with joy at the sight of your teary smile. With a soft giggle that sounded like home to him, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down on top of you to press your lips to his again.

One day, he'd be able to vocalize just how much he loved that laugh of yours. One day, he'd be able to tell you honestly just how much he loves you.

[cardansriddle]

Eric Coulter- Impatient

Summary: You and Eric have something going on between you that is left unlabeled, all because of his commitment issues. This leads to some arguments and an angry make out session. Idk the story is better than the summary.

A/N: I don’t know if people still are into Divergent, so if you are, here’s an Eric one shot for you because he is underrated and let’s admit, so much hotter than Four. 

Warnings: Making out? angst, choking.

Somehow Jay had managed to drag me into a bar full of sweaty dancing bodies, convinced me to wear a short black dress that hugged my body just at the right places and apparently planned on me getting batshit drunk, considering the amount of shots he was ordering. "Can we get twelve tequila shots?" He asked the bartender cheekily, who nodded and started preparing our drinks.

"Jay, I'm gonna be on the floor after those shots," I groaned. I had no shame in hiding the fact that I was a lightweight, everyone has seen it. I quickly scanned the room with my eyes in hopes of seeing a certain leader and once I could not locate him, I turned around and watched as the bartender put our drinks in front of us on the table. Without waiting for Jay, I licked the salt of the brim of the glass before downing the shot and biting into the lemon.

"Then darling, you better hope it's clean." He smirked without a care in the world.

I groaned and I could already feel the buzz of alcohol hitting my head.

"Hey, you're Bella right?" Someone tapped on my right shoulder. I twisted my body so I was facing the unfamiliar face. I nodded in order to confirm his question and he smiled before holding out his hand.

"I'm Zack." He introduced himself and I shook his hand politely. He then leaned in really close, invading my personal space as he whispered with a low voice. "I have seen you fight. Really impressive moves you've got there."

With furrowed eyebrows, I muttered out a 'thanks' watching as he chuckled before he leaned in once again as if I missed his point. "Maybe you'll show me more of those moves?"

Before I could reply and decline his obvious offer, I felt a presence at my back. "Leave." A familiar deep voice commanded from behind me, and I resisted the urge to smile widely at the sound of it. Despite not admitting it, I've been craving to see Eric again, he was a wicked potion that seeped into every pore and cell of my being, something so potent that even the tiniest drop left me aching for him.

Zayn or Zack, I forgot what his name was fumbled around before he left hurriedly, not in the mood to face the wrath of Eric Coulter. No one was that brave. I waited till he came to stand in front of me, eyes holding fury as he looked down at me.

"Hi, Eric." I greeted him nonchalantly, putting on a smile that I was sure looked more like a grimace.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked, body tense as he stepped closer to me.

"Well, I'm not an initiate anymore, I can go to clubs," I replied with a shrug, watching as his anger grew. His fists clenched as he put one of his hands on the bar and the other on the back of the stool I was sitting in, trapping me there.

"No. You can't. Have you seen how all the men are looking at you in that little black dress?" Eric growled, his breath fanning my face as he spoke. His face was way too close to mine, yet I did not mind. Instead, I craved it, I needed the space between us to simply disappear.

However, I was a stubborn woman, so instead, I put my hands on his chest and roughly pushed him away, and stood up. His eyes travelled over me unashamedly, from head to toe before they settled on my eyes again.

"Fuck's sake, Eric!" I exclaimed. "Can't go to a club, can't wear a dress, can't do this, can't do that. Are you my dad?!"

"Keep this act up and I'll fucking spank you like I am."

My whole body stilled as I felt a familiar throb in my lower abdomen at his words. His chest was suddenly too close to mine, and my breasts grazed his chest with every heavy inhale that I took.

"Fuck you, you're a fucking asshole." I spit out.

"Watch your tongue, Bella." He hissed, leaning towards me as if to intimidate me.

"I'm sorry am I spitting venom again? Hopefully, it doesn't stain that pretty blonde hair of yours." I said before stomping away and out of the club. My partying mood was ruined, and despite the tequila shots that I took, I felt myself sobering up after my interaction with Eric. He made my blood boil, yet my heart still yearned for him.

I might not have tried any drugs, but there was no doubt in my mind that Eric was the closest I've ever come to an addictive substance.

I've gotten whiplash from his hot and cold behaviour. There were times I would not see or hear from him for days, then the next minute he was turning up at wherever I was, acting like I was his property.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed my arm and spun me around. The unexpected action took me off guard, causing me to slam against a hard chest that I already knew belonged to Eric. We stood in a deserted corridor, panting as our eyes locked.

"Don't you dare ever walk away from me." He hissed. He clenched his jaw, and I knew he was furious.

"Then stop treating me like I don't fucking exist! I don't know whatever issues you have, but if you want me, then you better overcome them or at least let me help you! But do not treat me as if you own me when you do not even look at me half of the time! I am not your property, Coulter." I growled, feeling my anger rise as seconds passed. My words must've triggered something in him, as he slammed me against the nearest wall while his hand grabbed my throat, choking me.

He had me pinned against the wall, his eyes were dark with rage as he focused on strangling me. I knew my expression was deadly, I was looking right into his eyes and I was not scared at all. He was holding my neck so tight that I could already feel bruises forming there, yet I did not let my numb expression falter for a second, despite the pain. Any other person would be struggling to fight him off by now, or at least try to.

Instead, I decided to surprise him by sliding up my hands up his arm, until they rested on top of his hands around my neck. I smiled before whispering my next word.

"Harder."

I knew I caught him off guard since I felt his hands loosen around my neck as his eyes widened, so I used his moment of distraction to my advantage, quickly sliding my leg around the back of his knee before bringing him down on the ground, straddling him and pinning his hands down. I knew if he wanted, he could easily overpower me and get free of my hold. He was no doubt stronger than me, yet there was something very intimate about our position. It was as if he was submitting to me by staying underneath me, his hands pinned above his head as he looked at me with a look I could not decipher.

He then closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. "You're mine."

"Not if you are not mine," I replied, watching the conflict in his eyes as he continued staring at me with that same goddamn look. "it can't be one-sided. If I am yours then you are mine."

"You're a weakness. My weakness." His eyes flickered to my lips before meeting my gaze. "And I can't have any weak spots."

"Then you have to let me go." My heart clenched painfully at the notion of never being with him. He inhaled deeply at my words but shook his head.

"Shut the fuck up." He said and it seemed as if something clicked in his brain, his eyes cleared as he freed his hands from my hold before bringing them to my face. his lips crushed against mine, cool and dripping with bitterness-- a flavour I had missed. It was just as I remembered it, still raw and passionate and full of greed. I kissed him back immediately, my body treating him like a drug that I have been craving yet could never get enough of. His hand gripped my thigh harshly, our lips moulding together as we got lost in each other.

I finally mustered up enough strength to pull away from the kiss, ignoring the way my body begged for me to kiss him again. "Make up your damn mind Eric. I'm getting impatient." I told him with heavy breaths, pulling away from him completely and standing up. I looked at him one last time, knowing my eyes held pain and agony at being separated from him after reuniting with him, and I walked away, hoping he would stand up and chase after me, tell me that he was mine as long as I was his, yet he did not, and I did not even bother wiping the tears that streamed down my face as I walked away from him, my heart hurting with every step that I took.

[breathings-of-the-heart]

Stuck on You (Levi x Childhood Friend! Reader) Part 2

A/N: Hey guys! It’s been kinda a while but here is part 2~ I have this habit of writing and rewriting my pieces since I’m never fully satisfied by them, but overdoing that is just as bad so I’m going to leave this as is ajflkajada  The amount of love my first part recieved was so genuinely heart warming and I cannot express my gratitude enough. I’m nervous to post this because of it, to be honest, because I hope it lives up to the expectations. Thank you to everyone who has shown me support, it means so much! If you guys want a part three, or maybe just a short epilogue, I will consider it so let me know! Also if you would like to be tagged in my future works, comment below or send me a message <3 I hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: Angst, Season 1 and No Regrets ova spoilers

Word Count: 4k

If you haven’t already, read part one here

As a former member of the Scouts yourself, you knew the ins and outs of the military’s regulations. Because of this, you also knew your request was a strange one, seeing as soldiers weren’t typically allowed visitors, but you hoped your letter appealed to the more personal side of Commander Erwin. Apparently it somehow moved the man, seeing as you had been brought by carriage to the legion's base the following night.  

The clopping of horse hooves eventually stopped, and you were currently being escorted into the building by another familiar face, her hand already outstretched to help you out of the vehicle as soon as the door swung open.  

“I understand your reservations about this, but you’re brave for coming here. I think he’ll be relieved to see you, (Y/N),” Hange spoke, her fingers hovering over the small of your back as she guided you down one of the many hallways, lantern swinging in her free hand. “I think he could benefit from seeing a familiar face.”

Your eyes were downcast, staring at the floor as rooms upon rooms passed by along your path. You couldn’t speak if you tried, words seemingly stuck in your throat and unable to keep up with your racing thoughts.

Deep breaths, (Y/N).

For better or for worse, there was no need to reply, as Hange came to a halt not a second later. She squeezed your shoulder gently before bringing her knuckles to the wooden door, knocking once, twice.

Your hands were clammy, heart thundering in your ears as you tried to steady your breathing.

“Levi, someone is here to see you,” Hange’s voice rang out firmly.

There was a distinct sound of a chair being pushed back, and footsteps growing nearer. Time slowed down, and you began to second guess every decision up to now. Would Levi even want you to be here? Will he be angry? You felt like bolting away and forgetting about the whole idea, suddenly afraid of his reaction. Afraid that your presence would only make everything worse.

Your eyes were widening as you realized the possibility of leaving was too late to explore, Levi already turning the handle from the other side. So instead, you swallowed your pride, stood up straighter, and pushed away the growing sensation of nausea in your gut.

“Who could possibly be important enough to interrupt my--”


The second his eyes met yours, Levi halted in all movements. Your gaze was fixed on him as well, every bit of longing settling back in your bones the second it did.

He looked nearly the same as the last time you saw him, clean and kempt as ever, hair styled the way it always was-- the same way he’d keep it when he used to chastise you for running your fingers through it.

And those stoic, gray irises that drew you in your were fierce, yet somehow emptier. At the sight of you, his flooding emotions became too much to properly register, unlocking every moment you’d ever spent with him as they replayed all at once.

“(Y/N)?” He couldn’t hide his disbelief, eyes widening ever so slightly. 


“Hello, Levi.” 


~~~~~~~~~

Never did Levi think he would grow to care for another group of people the same way he had for you, Farlan, and Isabel. But sitting around Petra, Gunther, Eld, and Oruo, he found their excited chatter over the dinner table endearing more than anything. The ever stoic look on his face didn’t change, and he would never openly admit it, but it felt reminiscent to be surrounded by trusted company like this. All of Squad Levi had full faith in one another; it was necessary for the battle field. This created an unspoken bond between all of them that the unreachable Ackerman did not picture building with others again.

Fate worked in funny ways, he supposed.

Sounds of clinking silverware and chatter filled the mess hall, sun setting outside of its many windows and painting the expanse in an orange light. The males eyes drifted towards the entrance of the room expectantly, where a clock rested above the doorway. He took a sip of his tea whilst squinting at it, attempting to get a better read before feeling a slight jab in his side.

“Looking for someone, sir?” Petra inquired, with a hint of deeper emotion in her tone that went right over the male’s head.

He glared at her in annoyance, having almost spilled his drink as the thought of you returned to the forefront of his mind.

It was strange, seeing how capable you had become after spending those months by yourself in the Underground. They made you a bit more calloused than when Levi last saw you, carrying over to your skills as a Scout. You never used to be skilled at riding ODM gear, not even when Levi tried to teach you in your youth. Seeing you slash Titans without blinking an eye was like watching someone completely different.

But you had to learn, since you had no one to protect you.

Your open displays affection had grown fewer and farther between as your time in the Survey Corps dragged on. At first, Levi thought nothing of it. Truthfully, the Captain had hardly noticed, with how busy the both of you were. He wrote it off as stress, or the workload catching up to you. Or, maybe, it was that nagging thought in the back of his conscience he dared not dwell on: he had turned you into this, after being away for so long and then failing to protect your friends.

But as your words replayed in his mind like a broken record, too late he realized this wasn’t the case.

“I see the way you look at her. I see it because you used to look at me that way.”

“Captain?” Petra repeated, leaning forward to study his distant countenance and successfully pulling the man out of his thoughts. “She’s probably just training.”

He rested his hand on top of her head, turning it away from him and sighing.

“Eat, Petra. I don’t need you to be whining about hunger during our patrol tomorrow morning,” he chastised, forcing his eyes away from the doorway.

After that talk, Levi had watched you go, telling himself that you’d return soon enough. Yet could not shake the feeling in his gut that there was something amiss. He pushed away the pit in his stomach. You were safe, you were healthy, and that was all that mattered. Humanity’s Strongest had other things to focus on, after all, and tuned back into his comrades’ conversation. The man blended back in easily, occasionally offering a few of his own comments as the meal dragged on.

Every so often his thoughts would shift back to your conversation earlier that day, and he realized that you were wrong. As close to Petra as he had gotten, there was a stark difference between you and her:

No matter how strong you’d get, and no matter what you thought of him, Levi would always shield you from as much of this world as he could.

But it was better this way. Better if you moved on from him and easier to do if you thought it was because he wanted Petra.

If only he knew your last words to him “I’ll be back for dinner,” had been a lie.

It had been strange for him when you didn’t return. Levi tried not to think about how Kenny had done the same, instead grasping for a reason. For once, he could not read your thought process. The male had no idea why you’d voluntarily leave, after everything. He knew better than to hold onto certainty, but you’d thrown him for a loop. You were always the one to communicate, the problem solver, the one who understood him without much direction. Didn’t you know that you were irreplaceable? He should have come clean: told you that he didn’t see Petra that way, and just didn’t have the heart to admit he didn’t feel good enough for you anymore.

Did he ever even get the chance to say “I love you?”

His regret multiplied tenfold as he began to understand that maybe if he had, you would’ve stayed.

~~~~~~~~

A strange sense of comfort washed over the man as you smiled softly, small hands clasped together in front of you. He blinked, wondering if you were simply a mirage caused by his sleep deprivation. But you remained where you were, after all this time, standing at his door. For once in the man’s life, his mind was drawing a blank.

“I’ll leave you guys to it, then,” Hange stated, excusing herself and soon disappearing out of sight. 


Her statement pulled the both of you back into the present, and you were suddenly self conscious of Levi’s stare. You tucked your hair behind your ears and gestured towards his office, unable to gage his reaction to your presence.

“Would it be alright if I came in?” you asked shyly, astonished he hadn’t slammed the door in your face the second Hange left. 


To your shock, Levi simply nodded, stepping aside to let you through. Your movements were unsure and hesitant, stark in comparison to his: calm and collected as ever.

Just like any space Levi occupied, the area was clean and tidy, a lantern sitting upon his desk the only source of light against the cloudy night sky. It smelled like tea leaves, sandalwood, and disinfectant, a signature scent that made you fill with nostalgia. As the click of the door echoed behind you, the reality of your situation set in, and you turned around to face the man you were here to see.

His gaze had never left you.

“You’re hurt,” was the first thing that left your mouth, concern evident as you studied the bandaging that peaked above his knee length shoes. 


“Long story,” Levi offered curtly, eyeing you up and down from a few feet away. “One I don’t particularly care to tell you.” 


“Of course, that’s fine,” you agreed softly, a weak smile pulling at your lips.

You did your best to mask the hurt, knowing you deserved to feel it. It hurt to be here, the fear that Levi hated you previously keeping you away. Now that you were facing the music, that fear seemed more realistic than ever. Your brain wracked to change the topic before your mind could continue overthinking; desiring instead to cut the unbearable, building tension that never used to exist between you two.

“How are you, Levi?” it was a stupid question, but you no longer knew how to talk to him.

“(Y/N).”


The way he said your name was sharp and challenging. You quickly cleared your throat and looked away.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Of course you’re--”


“--Why did you leave?” Levi effectively cut you off, orbs narrowing as you dared to come closer.

The question caught you off guard. You thought you’d made it obvious with your last conversation with him those years ago. Surely, he had some idea, although his pained expression said otherwise. His fingers twitched at his sides, a movement you didn’t miss as your eyes flickered back to his in surprise. He had been so composed just a moment ago, that the sudden shift gave you whiplash.

Now his fists were clenching, as he waited in the painful silence, knuckles turning white.

“Why did you leave?” The phrase echoed tauntingly in your ears, over and over again.  

You don’t know what came over you. All you knew was that you needed to rid him of the rare, defeated look etched into his countenance. To purge him of this feeling you caused. Whether reaching out would help or hurt, you didn’t know.

But you needed to be near him.  

Levi’s eyelids screwed shut as you brushed your thumb across his cheek. The action was so simple, so delicate, so unsure and so familiar all at once, and at the feeling, the Captain’s composure finally came undone.


He reached up and gripped your wrist, as if you’d fade away if he let go. In previous years, it was always you who craved skinship, yet it seemed as if a weight had been lifted off Levi’s shoulders to have you this close. Your touch still felt like the comforting warmth of a campfire; the type that would make anyone want to stay forever.

“I’m sorry. I thought you’d be better off without me,” you whispered. “I didn’t want to cause you any pain.”

He let out a breath.

“Then why are you here now?” his question was more defeated than hostile, which you hadn’t expected.

If someone asked a few hours ago, your answer would have been much clearer. But now, the logic that brought you here seemed overshadowed by doubt. After all this time, and after everything that had happened between you and Levi, any semblance of a relationship with him seemed unsalvageable. You told yourself this mantra over and over until it stuck. So why were you here?

Levi must’ve thought it audacious, for you to run away like a coward and still think you were relevant to him.

“I owe you so much. Whether I ended up being wrong or right, I’ve always acted with your best interest,” you sighed, thumb brushing over Levi’s dark circles. “Truthfully, I don’t know if I’m any use to you now. I might be the last person you want to seek comfort from, but on the off chance that I still matter to you, I’ll always come back,” you whispered earnestly.

Levi’s grip on your wrist tightened imperceptibly, and you longed to bury your face in the crook of his neck; to feel him wrap his arms around you in his embrace once more. It seemed as if Levi was staring into your soul, his shallow breaths mingling with yours at this close proximity as he opened his eyes to fully drink you in.

“I’m here to tell you that if you need me, I’ll stay.”


He looked to the side as if brushing aside your touch, hand falling away from the raven-haired man’s face as he did so. It felt like rejection, as if he was brushing all of you away with a simple turn of his head.

Silence.

“You’re a real idiot, (Y/N),” he spoke finally, voice nearly out of place against the stillness.

Moonlight suddenly peaked through the window, showering you in a bath of silver light. Levi recognized this look. You were wearing your heart on your sleeve, offering everything you had to give; eyes wide and honest, shining with a vulnerability that even after a lifetime of knowing you, he had never seen before. The man felt conflicted at the sight, annoyance prickling under his skin as you somehow managed to hold him together and tear him apart all at once with your presence.

Losing his squad twist that knife in his heart, convincing him that he was cursed to be left by everyone and his superhuman talents only doomed him to live a life alone.

But now, here you were, standing within arms length: despite the pain you caused, still the only person he had left. Only you could draw this much emotion out of the typically monotonous man. He couldn’t tell if you were a blessing or a curse, but in the moment, all he knew was that he didn’t want you to leave again. He needed you to stay here, with him, the way it should be. Because you were family.

And true to your word, you did.

“You should really get some sleep, you know,” you stated after a while, closing the door with your foot as you entered with two fresh cups of tea. 


You watched Levi fill out paperwork on the other side of the desk, bringing the cup to his lips in the strange fashion you always teased him for. His gaze flickered up boredly.

“You know I don’t sleep. You go on ahead, though. The bed’s behind that door,” he paused, gesturing somewhere behind him. “I hardly ever use it.”  

You shook your head, reaching forward and plucking Levi’s pen from his hand.  


“What you’re drinking is caffeine free. I switched it, so you have no excuse now.” You ignored the indignant scowl growing on the Captain’s face, urging him to listen. “Please, you really should rest. You know you need to.”

It took an entire hour of imploring and convincing for the man to finally give in, him grumbling as you helped take off the boot on his injured foot and ushered him onto the bed. You knew you were the last person with any right to tell the short Captain what to do, but knowing Levi, he was running on an hour or two of sleep while his body was begging for rest. And yes, you were very much hypocritical, draped across the couch in Levi’s office, staring at the ceiling. But none of that mattered to you, as long as he was okay.

You had been lost in introspection, being a room away from your childhood best friend and first love after so long a surreal experience. It felt strange to be back here, but you were too tired to dwell on how strangely out of place you seemed in a place you once called home.

The weight of your abundant emotions from the day finally crashed down, fatigue settling in. You rubbed your eyes, and snuggled closer to the cushions, letting the darkness claim you.

And in the other room, as Levi slipped out of his uniform, shaking his head in exasperation. His last thoughts while he inspected the door as if he could see you through it, was that of course only (Y/N) (L/N) could be more stubborn than he was.

As he slipped under the covers per your command, the ghost of a smile spread across his lips at the thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps it was the constant danger of where you grew up, and the need to always stay on your toes, but for as long as you could remember, you’d been a light sleeper. If someone so much as stared at you for too long, your body would jolt awake, ready to take action within a moment’s notice. There had been many instances where this came in handy in your past; even after years of seldom disruption in your now boring life within the walls, this was a trait you never seemed to grow out of. So it wasn’t hard to notice the heavy breathing and panicked movement from behind Levi’s closed door.

Just like for you, some things never changed-- when it came to old habits, you knew the man like the back of your hand. The reason he rarely ever slept was one you were quite familiar with. One both of you struggled with, and probably always would. Nightmares never seem to stop. You’d gotten through so many of your own rough nights with your friends by your side.

Levi, however, always refused to admit how they affected him. Insisted on going through it by himself.  

The subconscious urge to look after one other was most likely one you'd never grow out of, even if Levi had. You didn’t think twice before making your way across the office, swinging your legs across the sofa, awake within seconds. Without missing a beat, you stood up and made your way to Levi’s personal sleeping quarters, knuckles rapping against the frame twice. Levi’s shallow gasps quieted, and when you realized he didn’t plan on opening the door, you steeled your nerves to do it yourself. This was what you were here for, wasn’t it? To offer some comfort?

He did want me to stay.

“Levi?” You called into the darkness gently, feet padding foreword as your eyes adjusted to the lack of light.

His silhouette was upright in the bed, no doubt staring at you menacingly.

“I'm fine, (Y/N). Go back to sleep,” he snapped.

That didn't deter you, for he would never openly admit vulnerability. This was by no means new behavior. Besides, the strong emotion behind the Captain’s voice was an easy tell that betrayed his words. You pressed on, sitting on the edge of the mattress.

“Do you remember the time we were teenageers and you got sick, but couldn’t afford medicine so I took that sketchy job you specifically told me not to?” Your back was to him, yet you could feel Levi peering at you.

“Obviously,” he humoured you with a reply, knowing you weren’t going to leave. “You came home half alive and I felt like the most useless piece of shit in the world.”

You chuckled, fingers fiddling with the white sheets beneath them.

“Yes, which was unfair to yourself but also something I did not realize since you called me pretty much every name in the book,” you smiled, the memory oddly fond despite its events. “You were so angry, but I was also scared out of my mind... which was more important than your anger, I suppose. So you let me lay next to you that night. That was all it took to make me feel safe again.”

There was a long pause, you trying to get your words together in a way that could allow Levi to understand how you felt right now.

“I know what you’re thinking; what you’ve been thinking your whole life. You haven’t failed anyone and that stupid idea should be the furthest thing on your mind. Take it from someone who knows, alright? So many lives have had meaning because of y--”

His hand closed around your wrist, the grip much like it was the day you left him.

This time, he would not let go.

“--Stop, (Y/N). Don’t.”

You hadn’t realized there were tears falling down your cheeks until Levi turned your face to look at him. Trying to look away in your embarrassment, you laughed bitterly. His grip did not budge as he examined you sternly.  

“Just be quiet and go to sleep, alright?”

You wiped at your face, determination etched into every fibre of your being.

“Mark my words, Levi, I will make you believe me.”

Levi rolled his eyes but tugged at you once more, opening the duvet in an invitation. When he sensed your uncertainty he simply nodded, arms winding around your waist as you finally crawled in beside him. Both of you knew that there was so much that still needed to be said; so many buried feelings and pain that would only take time to unravel. It felt like a miracle to find yourselves in this situation, pushing aside the thousands of emotions and questions and misunderstandings the two of you had, if only to stay together in this moment.

You didn’t need Levi to know that you still loved him; not while he was coping with another loss. It would be selfish to spring that on, and that was not what you were here for. But you had to tell him:

“I missed you.”

Levi hummed, nose brushing against yours in the close proximity.  

“You better not be gone when I wake up,” he chided in response, orbs fluttering shut.

Your fingers threaded through his onyx black locks, brushing through the knots soothingly. Knowing you’d help this man heal no matter how long it took, you took comfort in the realization that he’d finally let you do just that.  

“I’ll be right here. You’re not alone, Levi. I promise you never will be.”

He pulled you closer, thankful that there was at least one source of warmth left in his life that he could hold onto-- especially after coming to terms with and almost having been certain he’d never experience this feeling of contentment, again. But here you were to prove him wrong, a living slice of home in his arms.

It may have been wishful thinking, but you could have sworn you felt Levi’s breath fan across your hairline, a soft voice whispering “Thank you, (Y/N).” before you felt yourself slip away into slumber once more.

taglist: @asterroidd @chucky-26o1 @silversxble @belovedwindermere @christina-mj-stan @leviackerrman @cravrat @thekohakuriver1 @batakprincess @sunisenpai

[deanstead]

With Brothers Like These

Pairing: Dean Winchester x WinchesterSister!Reader x Sam Winchester

Request by anon: I was wondering if you could do another one where she is assaulted at a bar and the brothers have to rescue her. Lots of fluff, hurt/comfort, and angst!

Word Count: 1,683

Warnings: attempted sexual assault, angst, fluff, mentions of injury/hurt

A/N: Please take note of the warnings before you continue to read! Back with Winchester Sister! I know this is not a new trope but I still hope you guys like it! Please hit me up and let me know what you guys think! Hope there’s no mistakes haha. Thanks for the request! Winchester requests are open, as are taglists!

---

A successful hunt only ended one way – with the three of you at the nearest local bar.

Dean wasn’t even paying attention anymore, making eyes at a woman that was standing at the bar. You shook your head but smiled. “You’re relieved from your older brother duties.”

“Best sister ever.” Dean announced, grinning, patting your head affectionately before getting up from the table. “Go crazy, kids.”

“I’m your only sister!” You shot back but Dean was already halfway to the bar.

Sam shook his head, smiling, exchanging a look with you.

“Sam, you should hit the floor too.” You said absentmindedly, looking at your drink.

Sam rolled his eyes, “Don’t I get a ‘best brother ever’ for sitting here with you?”

You laughed, pulling the drink closer to you and taking a gulp.

“I’m going to get some air. I’ll be back in a bit.” You told Sam. The crowd in the bar was growing and you were starting to get a little claustrophobic from the musky smell that was filling the air.

“You okay?” Sam asked, looking up from the papers in front of him, probably already looking for the next case.

You nodded, smiling, dragging back your chair and pushing open the door of the bar.

You took a deep breath as the cool air hit your face. That was much better. You wandered slightly further into the parking lot, looking up at the sky. It was a nice clear night, it was quiet and the stars twinkling in the sky reminded you of a night many years ago, lying in the grass with your brothers.

You were so engrossed in looking at the sky, you didn’t hear the rustle of movement behind you until you felt yourself grabbed by rough hands, a man’s arm hooked around your neck, dragging you a few feet backwards into an alley that was right next to the parking lot of the bar.

What the hell?

You felt your back hit the wall and grunted at the impact, snapping your head up to look at what had grabbed you.

Except it wasn’t what, it was who.

The man towering over you looked about Dean’s age but he leered at you and you remembered where you had seen him. He’d already been staring at you at the bar.

“What the hell is this?” You snarled, trying to squirm out of his grasp but he barely budged. But you were a damn Winchester. You pulled your knee upwards in a quick motion, hitting him square in the groin as you screamed, “Dean! Sam!”

He groaned, but pulled his arm backwards and smacked you across your face, almost like a knee-jerk reaction, before he bent over again.

You hit the floor with a thud, winded from the unexpected strike, wincing as you felt your elbow scrape along the tarmac ground.

“Oh, a feisty one.” A voice that didn’t come from the guy bent over in front of you.

You felt your stomach drop. You were already at a disadvantage with this guy, and if he had friends…

Instinctively, you scrambled up, trying to push yourself towards the lit parking lot. In dismay, you felt hands grab your ankles and pull you backwards. Losing your balance, you fell forward with a thud, feeling your chin smack the tarmac.

“Dean! Sam!” You yelled again, not even sure if it was helpful. You were a distance away from the door of the bar and even if you had been out front, all your brothers would hear inside would probably be the pounding of the loud music.

The hands pulled you further in, their strong hands turning you back around to the front.

“It’s only fun when they’re feisty.” One of the men said, grabbing both your arms and pinning them above you as one of the new arrivals climbed on top of you.

Your breathing got shallower as you realised the situation you were in but before you could scream again, he crashed his lips against yours and you felt his hands move down your body. He pulled his lips away then, smirking down at you.

Your body felt like it had frozen on its own. You had no idea what to do, you’d been trained to hunt monsters, but you found herself frozen. Your mind was blank and you could feel your will shutting down.

Until you heard a gunshot rip through the air.

“Y/N!”

Sammy.

“Get your filthy hands off her!” Dean roared, pouncing for the guy that was atop you. The rest of them had scattered the moment they had heard the gunshot.

You felt hands grab you and you squirmed, trying to fight it. No, you couldn’t... you wouldn’t let yourself be taken again.

“No!” You screamed this time, your voice finally finding its way past your lips.

“Y/N! It’s me! It’s Sam!”

You spun your head around and it was. It was Sam, looking back at you with those familiar hazel eyes. “Sammy…”

“I got you.” Sam said, pulling you closer to him, his arms wrapping around you.

You closed your eyes, feeling the safety of your brother’s embrace. “Y/N, wait for me here.” Sam whispered after a while. You looked up in alarm.

Sam shook his head, “It’s okay, I’m just going to get Dean, okay?”

You nodded as Sam shot himself up. “Dean!” He ran to your oldest brother. “Okay, Dean, enough. Let’s get out of here.”

Even from where you were, you could hear Dean’s low growl. “I’m going to kill them!” Dean roared.

“Dean!” Sam yelled again.

Dean hesitated for a moment, the internal struggle between wanting to kill them or run back to you evident on his face. With another look from Sam, Dean chose the latter, spinning around and heading straight for you.

Your head snapped up at the sound of footsteps but you felt the relief flood your system when you saw who it was.

“Hey sweetheart, come here.” Dean pulled you to your feet smashing you against his side. You didn’t miss the way his eyes scanned your injuries but he didn’t say anything.

Sam threw open the front door of the Impala. On any other day, you’d have made a joke about him sitting in the back with his long legs but you could barely get through the fog in your brain. Your hands were shaking so you stuffed them into your pockets, biting the inside of your cheek.

---

Dean pulled up at the motel, glancing sideways at you.

You hadn’t said a word the whole way back, maintaining the silence even as Sam opened the door to the motel room you shared.

“I just need to wash up.” You said, trying to keep your voice steady before you went straight for the bathroom, closing the door behind you.

You flipped open the tap at the sink, watching water pour out of the faucet before you sank to the floor and let it go, the tears now pouring out of your eyes as well.

You didn’t know how long you had been in there before there were a few raps on the door. “Y/N, we’re coming in, okay?”

You didn’t respond but they opened the door anyway.

“Sweetheart, come here.” Dean whispered, getting to his knees in front of you and enveloping you into his arms.

That only made it harder for you to hold it in and a sob escaped your lips. Sam squatted next to you, putting his arms around you as well.

“I’m sorry…” You sobbed, “I froze, I shouldn’t have… you taught me….”

“No, no you look at me.” Dean said, pulling away slightly, his hands still on your shoulders. “None of this is on you, do you hear me?”

Your eyes moved from Dean to Sam.

“Come on.” Sam said, wiping away the tears that were rolling down your face.

Your brothers gently helped you up and you followed them out of the bathroom, sitting down on the bed.

“Let me see.” Dean muttered, bending down to look at the scrape on your chin. “I should have killed them.” He growled.

“Dean.” Sam warned before turning back to you. “I’m just going to…”

“Sam, I know. I’ve had worse.” You said, clenching your teeth slightly as Sam cleaned the scraped on your elbows.

You were quiet for a while. “I shouldn’t have frozen.”

Sam looked up. “Y/N.”

“How’d you know?” You asked.

Sam shrugged, “Just a feeling.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “A feeling?”

Dean and Sam just gave small smiles as Dean pushed your hair back slightly so he could clean the scrapes on your face.

“You sure you’re okay?” Dean asked, his green eyes watching you. “I should have stayed with you.”

Sam shook his head. “I shouldn’t have let you go outside alone.”

“Look, we can do this all day because I shouldn’t have frozen, I should never have let them get that close to me.” You said, looking at your brothers. Your brothers who would literally brave hell for you.

On any other day, you’d roll your eyes and ask them to skip the chick flick moment but you still felt a little vulnerable and stupid, mostly.

Sam looked up as he finished cleaning the scrapes on your arms at the same time as Dean’s eyes flicked to yours. “Y/N?”

You smiled back at them, Dean’s bright green eyes looking you over to Sam’s hazel ones looking at you with concern.

“I just feel like an idiot, mostly.” You confessed.

Dean sighed as Sam moved in closer. “Hey, you’re our little sister. You’re allowed to show us a little vulnerability.” Sam said.

“From time to time.” Dean teased.

You smiled weakly and Dean put a reassuring arm around your shoulders. “Seriously, it’s okay to lean on us. It’s not weak.”

“No matter what Dad might have told you.” Sam added.

“Besides, we’re your older brothers, we’re supposed to protect you.” Dean spoke again, his jaw clenching a little.

You smiled. “You know what?” You paused as Sam and Dean studied you. “You are the best brothers ever.”

---

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[sohotthateveryonedied]

Dad...I’m Bilingual

Read here on AO3!

Summary: 

Dick hums—a quiet, sleepy sound. He’s drifting, but only slightly. The painkillers are doing their job. “It’s dumb,” he says. “I can beat up bad guys an’ stop an apocalypse, but I can’t even tell my own dad I’m bilingual.”

Bruce just stares at him. Realization kicks in a moment later. “Do you mean bisexual?”

“Yeah, bionical.” He said that, didn’t he? Bruce must be getting slow in his old age.

When he wakes up, the first thing that Dick’s sluggish mind can latch onto is how tingly his tongue feels. His taste buds buzz like someone poured a can of Pepsi into his mouth while he was sleeping, bubbles tickling the path down. Or maybe pop rocks. Or tiny little bumblebees, their legs scritching and scratching the surface they tread. The tingling spreads outward, Dick notices as he careens toward the wakeful part of wakefulness. Mouth to neck to torso to fingers to the cement block that he is pretty sure used to be his right leg. Soda and pop rocks and bees, the whole way. A quiet, questioning groan slips through Dick’s heavy lips. He cracks his eyes open and squints, blinking against the unforgiving brightness of the room he’s in. “Mm. Bruce?” A nearby chair squeaks. “Dick? Are you awake?” Bruce’s voice is uncomfortably close, booming in the short space between them. Dick grimaces. “C’n you...back up? Your breath smells like meatloaf.” He opens his eyes fully and is greeted by Bruce’s lined face, bags sagging under his eyes. They’re in a hospital room, white walls and white sheets.

Bruce’s meatloaf breath huffs once in amusement, then retreats. “I’ll take that to mean you’re back up, then.” In his lap is a magazine laid open to a page that’s all squiggles and bumbled lines. It matches the rest of the room. Dick’s head swims.

The numbness has receded mostly now that Dick is back online, but his stubborn cement leg takes longer to reboot. “Feels like I died. Then came back to life. Then died again.” His mind churns slush and soup. “You did just get out of surgery,” Bruce tells him. “Leslie said you’ll be woozy for a few hours.” Dick frowns. “I can’t feel my leg.” He has to parse his words carefully, his mouth working slowly like his muscles have melted into molasses. “I should hope not. You just had your knee put back together.” That part sounds...somewhat familiar? Dick has mismatched memories of surfing a stop sign across Clayface’s back, then sirens so loud and so close they split his head in half. He remembers Leslie yelling into one ear while the other listened to Bruce and Steph arguing about a video she uploaded to the Batman Incorporated Twitter account. That was completely irresponsible, Bruce said, out of his Batman suit and in one of the backup outfits he has stored in Leslie’s office for nights like that one. You’re lucky he only broke his knee. That stunt earned the Bat brand fifty Twitter followers, Steph snarked back. I need a goddamn vacation, Leslie said. “Tim left to crash a jet ski in the harbor,” Bruce continues, though Dick doesn’t remember asking, “so your alibi is taken care of. Jason and Cass went to track down the pudding cart, and Alfred took Damian home to sleep.” The half-drawn curtains make it hard to decide if that’s a sunrise or a sunset he’s seeing. Either way, it speaks to long hours of sitting and waiting and hoping. “I think…” Dick licks his dry lips. “I think they cut my leg off?” It feels like it. Did Leslie take his leg away as punishment for being dumb? Is the hospital hiding it from him? Bruce snorts. “Then what is that?” He gestures to Dick’s leg, the entire thing encased in weighty layers of gauze and plaster. “An imposter,” Dick says. Duh. “They gave me fake metal parts like Vic.” Dick slumps against the pitifully flat pillow behind his head. “My brain feels fuzzy. Did they take stuff out of my head?” That would explain the foggy memories and the way all of his words swim away from him like he’s been plunged underwater. Underwater hospital. Now there’s an idea. “You’re on painkillers,” Bruce says plainly, licking his thumb and turning the page of his magazine. “Heavy ones, it looks like.” Dick can’t remember if painkillers are supposed to feel like bumblebees buzzing around inside his thoughts. Maybe they’re made of honey. “Y’know, last time I woke up all confused in a hospital room, a bullet stole secrets from my head.” Bruce looks pained. “I assure you that all of your secrets are intact this time around.” Dick hums. “You should...take the painkillers out.” “Why is that?” “‘Cause I don’t wanna spill stuff.” Bruce frowns. He doesn’t say anything for so long that Dick wonders if he spoke in Portuguese by mistake. Bruce places his magazine on the plastic chair beside him. “Well, I can’t take out the IV because you’ll be in pain, but I promise you that the room is safe. Tim checked for bugs.” Why a bug would be in the human hospital, Dick doesn’t know. He shakes his head. The front pieces of his hair fall into his eyes, but his arms are too tired to fix it. “That doesn’t work, ‘cause then...then you’ll know. And that’s bad.” “This isn’t about your secret identity, is it?” Another head shake. “I might acci-mentally tell you ‘bout how I spilled tapioca on the Batmobile’s seats.” Bruce’s eyes widen. “That was you?” “Yeah, but don’t tell Bruce, ‘kay? You gotta promise.” Bruce rubs his temples like he’s sleepy. “I spent ten minutes yelling at Jason for that. I made him clean the seats.” “Yeah, ‘cause you’re an asshole.” Dick huffs, blowing at his pesky bangs until Bruce rolls his eyes and pushes them back for him. “Thank you.” “I appreciate you telling me about the tapioca. We’ll talk more about that when you’re sober.” Dick makes a face. “The whole point’s that I can’t tell you about the tapioca. It’s a secret. I’ve got too many of those—a whole big fuckin’ army of secrets. And it’s too many. No fun when you can’t share ‘em.” “What about Nightwing?” Bruce asks. “‘S different. You already know that one. I can share it.” “But you can’t share the other ones,” Bruce finishes. Dick snaps his fingers. “Zactly.” Bruce studies Dick—his bundled-up leg and the clear bag hanging on the hook beside his bed, pumping drugs into his bloodstream. “I should let you rest.” He starts to get up, the action somehow guilty despite there being no inherent guilt in vacating a chair. Bruce can pour guilt into anything if he tries hard enough. “You wanna know the worst part?” Dick continues on like Bruce hadn’t spoken, words spilling freely over compromised lips. “I could tell you. I could. But I’m a scaredy cat, so I can’t.” Reluctantly, Bruce sits back down. “I don’t know about that. I think you’re very brave.” “I’m not. If I was, I’d be able to tell you, because I know you’ll still love me no matter what I am, and I’m still scared. And that’s what scaredy cats do. They run away.” When Bruce’s face wears that expression, that gentle turn of his mouth and that pang in his eyes, Dick is stricken by memories of being nine years old. He’d go out every night in the Robin suit, wearing it like a suit of armor and trusting that nothing could hurt him. Bruce would be there by his side, protecting his Robin from harm at all costs. His soul wrapped around Dick’s like a second layer of armor, and it was then that Dick started to wonder if it was possible to have two fathers. “There’s nothing wrong with being scared sometimes,” Bruce tells him now. “There is if you’re a superhero.” “Even then. Sharing a secret can be a scary thing, even when you know it’s safe. That’s why they stay secret for so long.” If Dick didn’t know any better, he’d think that Bruce already knew what Dick desperately wanted and didn’t want to say. But not even Batman can read minds. Dick hums—a quiet, sleepy sound. He’s drifting, but only slightly. The painkillers are doing their job. “It’s dumb,” he says. “I can beat up bad guys an’ stop an apocalypse, but I can’t even tell my own dad I’m bilingual.” Bruce just stares at him. Realization kicks in a moment later. “Do you mean bisexual?” “Yeah, bionical.” He said that, didn’t he? Bruce must be getting slow in his old age. Bruce leans back in his chair with an odd, bemused expression. It’s not an angry one—more like when he’s cracked a case and lets the truth soak in. What case he’s cracked, Dick doesn’t know. Puzzlement morphs into something soft. “Okay. You’re bisexual. That’s not so bad.” “Yeah. But it would change stuff if you knew.” “Not exactly,” Bruce says. “You’re still you, Dick. Nothing’s changed—not really.” “Mm.” Dick’s chest warms. That must be a delayed effect of the painkillers, surely. “Maybe I’ll tell you sometime, then. Later,” he amends. “When my head’s not full of mothballs.” “Sure, son.” Bruce reaches out to ruffle Dick’s hair. “Whenever you’re ready to tell me, I’ll listen.”

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Bedtime Stories

Penny (Stardew) x They/Them Reader

A/N: Woo! With this, I have completed a fic for all the Stardew Bachelorettes! Hope ya’ll are ready for Penny time! Word Count: 5,618

(Y/n) stretched their arms way above their head, reveling in the pulling of their back muscles and the dull crack of their spine. They had been out foraging all day and their pack was full of blackberries, mushrooms and nuts. A very good haul.

They shivered a bit as another breeze blew through. The skies had only gone dark about an hour ago, but (Y/n) was ready to call it a night and turn in to their warm and cozy farmhouse.

They walked up the dirt path past Marnie’s ranch to their farm, smiling when they saw the light of their house in the distance. The children must have been giving Penny a hard time tonight. Usually they’d be asleep before (Y/n) got home, but they could get restless on occasion.

As soon as (Y/n)’s boots thudded against the wooden stairs, they could hear excited cries from within, and soon a small head poked out from behind the front door before swinging it fully outward.

(Y/n) flung their arms out to catch the small body that flew into their legs, soon joined by a smaller, more clumsy one.

“You two are up rather late, you aren’t giving your mom a hard time, are you?” (Y/n) asked their children.

“Mommy said we could wait for you if we ate all our veggies at dinner so we did. We did good so we’ll grow up to be strong farmers like you!” The older of the two exclaimed.

“Oh yeah?” (Y/n) grinned.

“Yeah!” The younger child shrilled.

“Well, now that I’m here, it’s time for bed isn’t it?”

A duet of displeased noises met (Y/n)’s ears but they quickly devolved into giggles when the farmer attacked them with tickles. Once the children were disarmed, (Y/n) slung them over their shoulders and bounced them into the house, meeting the loving eyes their spouse gave them from the couch.

Penny sat in a pile of rumpled blankets no doubt put there by their rambunctious children. In her lap was a book of fairy tales that usually served her well when bedtime came around but tonight it seemed it was not enough.

“Hi, love. Welcome home.” Penny smiled sweetly, getting up to meet (Y/n) halfway. She hugged them around the middle before lightening their load by taking the smaller child off their hands.

“Hi sweetheart, how was your day?” The farmer asked, setting down their eldest child so they could remove their bag and boots.

“It went well. The children were so diligent with their studies. I was very impressed.” Penny said, making sure the kids were aware of how proud she was of their work.

“That’s great! I’m really proud of you two.” (Y/n) praised their children while they glowed with pride.

“So we can stay up late and watch tv?” The eldest asked hopefully, the parents merely laughed at the suggestion, making the children pout.

“Afraid not, sleep is very important and I think now would be a good time to hit the hay.” (Y/n) said, already trying to corral the kids into their bedroom.

“Not yet! We want a story at least!” The younger proclaimed, agreement was quickly voiced by their older sibling. Rarely it seemed they could come to a consensus so quickly.

“Oh? Well, I suppose one story wouldn’t hurt.” (Y/n) agreed. “Go brush your teeth first, please.”

The children toppled over each other, trying to get to the sink first so they could rush back to the living room.

“They have so much energy.” Penny remarked with a content sigh, leaning into (Y/n)’s side.

“No kidding,” (Y/n) chuckled, rubbing Penny’s arm, “I could have really used the extra help in my first year of living here. Now I’ve got auto-feeders and sprinklers. A little late for fall, but I suppose they could help with the spring planting, maybe that would slow them down a bit.”

“Shhh, it’ll be a long winter and I don’t need to hear, ‘is it spring yet?’, everyday before then.” Penny playfully warned.

“Your wish is my command.” (Y/n) nodded, pulling Penny down onto the couch to cuddle with her, making the teacher hum with delight and shyly steal a quick kiss.

A few minutes later, two bouncy young children crawled over their parents and wiggled into their sides and under the blankets with happy giggles.

“Alright kiddos, which one?” (Y/n) asked once they were all settled, patting the heavy book on their lap.

“We don’t want one of those stories tonight.” The eldest said.

“You don’t?” Penny blinked, confused by declaration.

“We want to know how you met each other and got married.” The eldest explained, the younger nodded along.

“It’s a long story kids.” (Y/n) said. They may have been trying to dissuade the children, but there really was a lot to cover. Seasons and seasons worth.

“What’s so long about it?” The younger child asked. “Didn’t you just know you liked each other so you got married?”

“People don’t get married right after they meet each other, honey.” Penny gently corrected.

(Y/n) definitely had a, ‘well, not usually anyway’, kind of look on their face but the warning look Penny gave them convinced (Y/n) to keep their mouth shut.

“Oh, I still wanna know though.”

“Me too!”

“(Y/n)...” Penny called upon her spouse.

“Okay, an abridged history, how ‘bout?” (Y/n) shrugged.

The children seemed content with that, once Penny explained to them what abridged meant, and looked to (Y/n) expectantly with shining eyes.

“Okay, it all started—“

“Once upon a time!” The youngest screeched, making everyone wince.

“Inside voices, dear.” Penny reminded.

“Sorry, but the story has to start with once upon a time.”

“It’s not a fairytale, you know.” The older said.

“It’s alright,” (Y/n) interjected with a grin, “it feels enough like one being married to such a sweet person.”

Penny turned away and blushed, a small bashful smile working the corners of her lips upward.

“Once upon a time...” (Y/n) began again, much to their youngest child’s delight.

***

“Oh my Yoba, this place is a mess.” (Y/n) groaned.

They had kept a brave face for Robin and Mayor Lewis, but now that they were gone, they voiced how overwhelmed they felt freely. They looked over the overgrown lot that was supposed to be the farm their grandfather had left for them.

“What if this was a mistake? Am I doing the right thing? I don’t want to crawl back to Joja but...” (Y/n) growled, thwacking the dirt hard with their hoe, “No! I just got here, I can’t quit yet.” They said, strengthening their resolve.

After a few hours of alternating between being proud with their progress and wanting to cry because there was so much left to do, (Y/n) decided they wanted to check out town. They just really needed to freshen up first.

To their dismay, but not surprisingly, the old farmhouse didn’t have indoor plumbing, but they didn’t worry because they knew there was a bathhouse in the mountains they could use.

“When I get paid, the first thing I’m gonna do is contract Robin to build a bathroom. I hope she’s as savvy with plumbing as she is with carpentry.” They mumbled to themself as they walked up the mountain path.

Entering the bathhouse, the space seemed void of life, the only sounds being the steady drip of water over the tiled floor. (Y/n) claimed a vacant locker and took a shower. After the day they had, it was the best shower they had ever had.

Once clean, (Y/n) decided they’d spoil themself and swim around in the heated pool for a bit before heading back to the farm. They put on their swimsuit and headed on in. Expecting to be alone, they hummed and sang as they made their way to the main room, enjoying the way their voice reverberated off of the walls and echoed back into their ears.

“Um, hello.”

“Wah!”

(Y/n) nearly slipped on the wet floor from the shock. A woman with vibrant, orange hair was sitting in one of the near corners of the pool. She seemed to shrink into herself under (Y/n)’s wide gaze.

“Oh wow,” (Y/n) laughed awkwardly, embarrassment flooding their tone, “I, uh, didn’t realize anyone else was here, sorry you had to hear that.”

“It’s alright,” the woman smiled albeit, a bit tightly it seemed. “I was thinking about getting out anyway.”

“You don’t have to leave!” (Y/n) fumbled with the towel in their hands, “I promise to be quiet and give you your space. It’ll be like I’m not even here.”

They skittered across the tiled floor and slid into the opposite side of the bath, giving the woman her space.

A few painfully awkward minutes passed. (Y/n) leaned over the pool edge and counted the nearby tiles, the bricks on the wall... anything to occupy them until the other occupant left or a non-suspicious amount of time passed and they could leave themself.

“Who... who are you?” The woman asked, finally breaking the silence.

(Y/n) craned their head to face her, eager to introduce themself and hopefully make a better impression.

“I’m (Y/n). I just moved in. I live at the old farmhouse just west of town so you’ll probably see me around from time to time.”

“Oh, I see,” the stiffness of the strangers shoulders seemed to lessen, “Well, I’m Penny. It’s nice to meet you.”

(Y/n) grinned brightly as they swam closer to Penny, all previous worries forgotten. “It’s nice to meet you too, Penny! I hope we will be great friends.” (Y/n) suddenly splashed the water beneath their hand as another thought popped into their mind. “Hey, do you have any favorite vegetables or fruits?”

“Um,” Penny shrunk back, a bit intimidated by the farmer’s sudden approach, “Oh, I don’t know...”

“Surely there’s something, don’t be shy.” (Y/n) encouraged.

“I, I like melon?” Penny more asked than told. Her back digging into the edge of the pool a bit uncomfortably.

“Melon,” (Y/n) nodded sagely, backing up a bit from Penny’s personal space. “Yeah, I could do that! You’ll have to wait for summer though, is that okay?”

“Wait?”

“Yeah, I can start planting melon in the summer. I’d do it sooner, but the seeds won’t take. I’ll be sure to give you the first one I harvest though!”

“You really don’t have to do that,” Penny waved her hands in front of her.

“I insist.” (Y/n) heaved themself out of the warm water, “Man, Penny, I have to thank you. You’ve inspired me to get back to work! I got to see if there’s anything else I can clean up around the farm before nightfall. I’ll see you around!”

“Okay, bye...” Penny watched them jog into the changing room, gasping when the farmer slipped on the tiles but continued on their merry way. She wasn’t sure what to make of the new addition to Pelican Town, but they seemed kind enough.

***

The next time Penny had seen (Y/n) was during one of her lessons with Vincent and Jas. She had been reading about the history of the valley when Vincent had waved excitedly at someone behind her back. Thinking it was just Sam or Jodi, Penny attempted to continue on with her lesson but she soon came to a stop when Vincent took to excitedly calling after the passerby.

“Hey, farmer! Good morning!” Vincent yelled.

“Really now Vincent,” Penny lightly scolded as she held her finger over the paragraph she had been reading, “you need to focus on the lesson.”

“Sorry Miss. Penny.” Vincent apologized. “But I see Farmer (Y/n). They’re so cool.”

“They’re probably busy—“

“Hi, Vincent! And a hello to you Jas and Penny.” A friendly voice cut in.

Penny looked up from her spot in the grass and watched (Y/n) approach, their arms full of daffodils.

“What’s going on here?” They asked once they were standing next to the group.

“School.” Vincent answered matter-of-factly. “Miss Penny is reading about history.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were a teacher Penny. That’s really neat. I’m sorry for interrupting your lesson.” (Y/n) said, turning their attention to Penny.

“It’s alright, you didn’t know. I apologize if Vincent has distracted you from your own work.” Penny politely stated in kind.

“No worries, I’ve just been foraging around the valley. Leah posted a request for some dandelions but I couldn’t seem to find any today. I got a whole bunch of daffodils though. Would you three like to take some off my hands?”

“Wow, thanks!” Vincent quickly grabbed one before Penny could even think about declining.

Jas shyly took one for herself, still a little intimidated by the fresh face. She’d been growing a little more used to them though, thanks to Marnie’s encouragement.

“A flower, milady?” (Y/n) asked Penny again, sporting a warm smile that made the teacher feel like the heat of the day was starting to get to her.

“Thank you, this looks special.” She said, gently cupping the flower in her hands.

“You’re welcome. It’s no melon, but rest assured that summer will be upon us before you know it,” the farmer declared before spotting Willy in the distance. “Oh! Hey guys, I gotta go catch Willy to tell him about all the chubs I caught yesterday. It was good talking to you, see you all later!” They said before jogging off.

“Bye (Y/n)!” Vincent waved.

“Bye...” Penny and Jas said together, much more subdued than the young boy.

Penny watched (Y/n) until they disappeared into the saloon before turning back to her book. Her face tinged pink as she twirled her daffodil in one hand and picked up where she left off.

***

Summer rain pelted the metal of the trailer, thumping loudly with each drop, but Penny blocked it out easily as she read all cozy in her bed. Occasionally she would snap up a bit of freshly cut melon from the Tupperware resting on her nightstand and smile to herself.

(Y/n) had made good on their promise and had been pushing their fresh melons onto Penny since midsummer. Another sweet bite and Penny sighed pleasantly whilst marking her page with the daffodil (Y/n) had given her in the spring, now a dried and fragile makeshift bookmark.

The farmer was so warm, gentle. Better than anything her books could come up with and yet they somehow existed in her reality despite being too good to be true.

Since their somewhat uncomfortable origin, Penny could not have been more happy to have encountered them in the bathhouse that day. Even after getting to know each other better, even after (Y/n) had seen the messy state her mother kept the trailer in, they never treated her any differently.

“Penny,” the teacher jolted at the sudden knock and the rasp of her mother’s voice through the door, “I’m heading to the saloon. You want anything?”

“No thanks, mom.” Penny sighed. “I was thinking of making dinner myself tonight.”

“Alright honey. I’ll be back late.” Pam informed, her footsteps rocked the trailer slightly and the rickety front door closed loudly, signaling the older woman’s departure. At least now that the bus had been fixed (by who else but the resident hero farmer) her mother had less time to spend drinking.

Penny scooted out of bed and headed to the kitchenette and turned on the stove, putting a large pot on the flame. She had been trying to make something to give (Y/n) in thanks. Something for all the good they’ve been doing for the town and for treating her so kindly.

She began her experimental stew, pouring whatever she had on hand into the pot that she thought would taste good. She was so absorbed in her creation that she almost missed the knocking on the trailer door.

Penny turned off the heat and went to answer the door thinking it was probably just Vincent with another excuse why he couldn’t return his homework in time. She was surprised to see (Y/n) waiting outside.

“(Y/n), hello,” Penny greeted, beckoning the farmer out of the rain, “please come in, it’s pouring buckets out there. You must be soaked.”

“I’m okay, it’ll take more than a little rain to take me out.” (Y/n) smiled as they stepped into the trailer. “Hi Penny, hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Not at all. I was just cooking.” Penny bashfully admitted. So much for the surprise.

“Oh that’s cool. What’re you making?”

“Oh just some stew, I was actually hoping to give it to you,” Penny blushed, “for all the good you’ve done for the town.”

“Aw, that’s very sweet of you Penny. You didn’t have to do that.” (Y/n) said. They could feel their heart beat pick up in tempo at the gesture.

“I wanted to. Here, have a taste.” Penny presented a ladle full of soup to (Y/n), her blush grew warmer as the farmer leaned in close to take a taste before pulling themself to stand straight once more.

(Y/n)’s smile tightened the more they chewed, sweat dotted their forehead.

“Are you alright?” Penny asked, watching the farmer continue to chew.

“Mhmm.” (Y/n) squeaked, giving Penny a shaky thumbs up. Then they swallowed none too easily. “Wow,” they breathed, well, more like gasped, “that sure was something Penny. Thank you for sharing.”

“Is it really that bad?” Penny frowned, disappointed.

Immediately (Y/n) jumped into action, waving their arms, “It wasn’t bad at all! I was chewing so long because it tasted so good, I didn’t want it to end!”

Penny gave the farmer a doubtful look before looking down at the leftover stew in her ladle and raising it to her own lips.

“Wait, Penny—“

“Oh dear, that is vile...” Penny gagged. She hardly had so much as a sip before tossing the rest back into the pot. “I’m sorry, (Y/n). I should have tested it first...”

“Hey, it’s okay! You’re learning. It took me a lot of practice to learn how to cook too.” They assured. “If you want to come over sometime I could teach you a thing or two.”

“I wouldn’t want to interrupt. You’re always so busy...” Penny said, already contemplating how she was going to get rid of her hot, liquid garbage.

“You wouldn’t be interrupting anything. All I really need to do is water the crops and feed the chickens. I can take it easy every once in awhile. Besides, I’m always looking to spend time with you anyway so... yeah,” They rubbed the back of their neck.

“Really?”

“Yeah, so if you ever want to plan something... I’d really like that.”

“Okay.” Penny nodded, nervously fiddling with her hands. “I’d like that too. Very much.”

“Cool! Nice, yes.” (Y/n) practically sparkled at the affirmation. “When do you want to meet up?”

“Is Tuesday fine?”

“Tuesday is great! This is so exciting!” Just as the farmer pumped their fists over their head, a loud burst of thunder shook the trailer. “Wow, it’s a monster out there.”

“Yes, you should stay for awhile. At least until it calms down a bit... movie?” Penny suggested, gesturing to the little DVD player in the corner.

“That sounds like a great idea,” (Y/n) followed, their hand reaching into their bag, “I almost forgot I came to give you more melon!”

“You spoil me, really. How much melon do you think one girl can eat. I’m still working on the last one you gave me.” Penny giggled quietly.

“Fall will be here before long. Best to enjoy them while you still can.” They half-joked, sliding into the seat of the booth.

Penny slid into the seat beside them and popped open the DVD player. Maybe the melon season was coming to an end, but at least the farmer who planted them was here to stay.

***

By mid fall, Penny and (Y/n) were nearly inseparable. Any free time they had they usually spent together cooking in (Y/n)’s farmhouse, relaxing in the bathhouse or curling up with some books or other media.

The day was unusually warm for fall and Penny decided to treat Jas and Vincent to a picnic in the Cindersap Forest for all their hard work. While they ate and went through their lesson, Penny saw the farmer and waved them over without a second thought. She was simply thrilled to see them and thought their presence in the woods must have been fate.

“(Y/n), wonderful timing seeing you here. I was just teaching the children about natural resources. Could I trouble you to talk about how natural resources are involved in farming?” Penny asked once the farmer came up to them.

“Sure, I’d love to!” (Y/n) nodded.

Penny stared off dreamily at (Y/n)’s side as they explained what they knew about the valley’s resources while wondering how she could be so lucky as to know them. Once (Y/n) had explained a large amount of their process, Vincent raised his hand.

“Question, Vincent?” Penny asked, impressed that the boy seemed so invested in the lesson.

“Yeah, are you dating anyone Farmer (Y/n)?” Vincent asked.

“Uh, no. No I am not.” (Y/n) laughed, rubbing the back of their neck.

“Vincent!” Penny said, aghast.

“What?” The young boy questioned.

“You can’t just ask people stuff like that, Vincent.” Jas spoke up. “My auntie Marnie told me that when I asked her if Mayor Lewis was her boyfriend.”

(Y/n) and Penny gave each other an awkward side glance. After the incident with the bush, (Y/n) had to tell someone about it, and Penny had been the unfortunate mock therapist in that scenario.

“Ah, well, no harm done.” (Y/n) laughed. “Any questions related to the topic of natural resources?”

Penny observed how well (Y/n) got along with Jas and Vincent and thought they would make a wonderful parent. When the lesson had concluded and the children were playing by the river, Penny couldn’t help but ask (Y/n) if they had ever thought about having a family before.

“Every once in awhile I do. I think it would be nice. It would make the farm more lively at least.”

And with that admission, Penny couldn’t help but hope that one day, (Y/n) might see her as a suitable partner to share their life with.

***

Winter was, well, cold.

But Penny was glad for it because there were no crops (Y/n) needed to attend to and they were therefore, more available. They spent much more time together in winter than the previous seasons.

Today, Penny was heading to the farm for another cooking lesson from (Y/n). She was getting much better with the skill. She could even get her mother to spend more nights away from the saloon with the promise of a hot meal.

Penny stepped up onto the snowy porch and knocked her gloved hand against the wooden door. She could hear clattering from within the farmhouse and waited patiently for (Y/n) to usher her in.

“Penny, hi, glad you could make it!” (Y/n) grinned as they opened the door, guiding Penny in by the waist,

“Thank you for having me.” Penny flustered at the contact, despite her thick coat blocking the farmer’s touch. “What are we making today?”

“I thought some warm snickerdoodle cookies would be great on a cold day like this.” (Y/n) said.

“That does sound good.” Penny nodded as she hung up her coat and stepped out of her shoes. Then she followed (Y/n) to the kitchen and they got to baking.

Before long, the smell of cinnamon and sugary goodness permeated the space and the chill of the winter air outside was long forgotten. They were just getting ready to settle in with a movie when (Y/n) excused themself for a minute to go grab something from another room. It reminded Penny how small the farmhouse used to be before (Y/n) had commissioned Robin for a few projects.

Penny nervously eyed the bag she had left at the door. Was now a good time to bring out the bouquet? Penny had been silently agonizing over it all day. She had bought it from Pierre almost on impulse, she knew who she wanted to give it too, but what if (Y/n) saw her only as a friend and wasn’t looking for anything different? It was sure to make things weird between them.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Penny jolted in her seat as (Y/n) reappeared, something held behind their back. She quickly assured (Y/n) that it was alright and motioned them over to the couch so they could start their movie.

“Wait, Penny, can I ask you something first?” The farmer asked, still standing in the stairway.

“Of course.” Penny nodded, concern seeping into her tone. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“No! No, at least, I don’t think so. I just wanted to ask if you would want to... and you can always say no, you won’t hurt my feelings... okay, it might sting a little but I’ll get over it—“

“(Y/n), what is it?” Penny asked, standing up and walking over to the fumbling farmer. She had never seen them look so shaken.

The farmer seemed at a loss. Opening and closing their mouth until finally they just brought their hand out from behind their back and presented Penny with a bouquet of their own. The teacher gasped, her hands flying up to her mouth in elation and surprise.

Without saying anything Penny bounded over to the front door and opened her bag, producing her own bouquet and delighting (Y/n) to no end as she wrapped the farmer in a tight hug.

After hours of cuddling on the couch and half paying attention to their movie, Penny decided she had to get home, despite (Y/n)‘s offers to have her stay over. She needed to make sure her mom didn’t overdo it at the saloon.

A quick glance around the bar and she noted that Pam wasn’t there. She gave Gus a polite wave before heading home. Upon arriving, she found her mother already settling into the pullout for the night and their eyes met. Pam’s eyes drifted down to the bouquet secured in Penny’s arms and grunted.

“It’s about time.” Pam grumbled before turning over on the noisy mattress.

Penny could only smile at her mother’s gruffness before retiring to her room to quietly continue celebrating in her own space.

***

By the fall of the third year since (Y/n) had moved into town, the pair became a well established couple and it was just common knowledge to suspect if one was out and about, the other couldn’t be too far off since they were practically joined at the hip.

Some of the townies had expressed worry that the farmer was shrinking off too much of their duties but in reality, the farm was a well oiled machine now and required little maintenance. The farmer had worked themself to the point of passing out on their farmhouse floor on occasion to get to this point. Money was hardly an issue anymore for the farmer who, quite literally, built their legacy on five hundred gold and a handful of parsnip seeds.

“There you are,” Penny kissed (Y/n)’s cheek chastely as they plopped down next to her under her favorite tree, “where have you been?”

“Just needed to take care of something quick.” They said, leaning their head against Penny’s shoulder.

“And what would that be?”

“I was talking to Robin. She had a request up.”

“And what did she want?”

“You are full of questions today, sweetheart.” The farmer laughed.

“And you aren’t being as forthcoming with information as usual. Usually, I wouldn’t even have to ask before you tell me all about your adventures, big or small.” Penny pointed out, “I do believe you might be hiding something.”

“No way!” The farmer scoffed before slouching a bit more because of the look Penny gave them, “Okay, maybe I am hiding something, but it’s a surprise. Give it a few days.”

“Just what might you be up to, hm?” Penny smiled, cupping (Y/n)’s cheek.

“You’re a teacher,” (Y/n) laughed again, “you should know what surprise means.”

Penny sighed before laughing along with her partner. Then the couple went in about their day and before long, the thought of (Y/n)’s surprise left her mind and she had forgotten all about it by the time Jas and Vincent’s lessons were over for the day.

A couple days later, (Y/n) had invited Penny and Pam over for lunch. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence. One of the things Penny appreciated most about (Y/n) was their willingness to reach out to Pam and build a good relationship with her as well. However, what made this trip particularly extraordinary was what waited for them where their old, rundown trailer used to be.

“Oh, Yoba...” Pam breathed, a hand placed heavily over her heart as she stared up at the grand looking house.

“Robin, what is this?” Penny asked, nearly as breathless as her mother and just as overwhelmed.

“I got commissioned for a community upgrade,” the carpenter smiled, “I hope you guys like it!”

“This is too much... how can we— who commissioned this?” Penny asked, running her fingers through her bangs.

“Anonymous donor,” Robin winked before making her way back up to the mountains, “enjoy the new house ladies.”

Penny hugged her mother while she cried and together they entered their new home, unsure how they could ever thank the donor enough. It didn’t take long for the mother daughter duo to figure out the identity of the commissioner. After all, there were only so many people who could pull off such a project and have the funds necessary to complete it.

“I’m going back to (Y/n)’s!” Penny called out. It felt weird having to actually throw her voice enough for her mother to hear her across their new house.

Pam managed a wave, still a bit overwhelmed by the vast space surrounding her.

Penny practically ran to the farm, the seashell pendant her father had gifted to her mother so long ago grasped tightly in her hand. Breathing heavily, she knocked on the door and waited for the farmer to appear.

“Hey Penny, did you forget a book or something? It must be good for you to run all the way over here for it.” They laughed, “come in, do you need some water—“

“I love you,” Penny declared, leaping into (Y/n)’s arms, “I can’t believe you did that for us.”

“Did what?” (Y/n) asked, looking a bit coy.

“You built my mom a house you wonderful busy body.” Penny said, smacking their shoulder.

“What? Did Robin tell? I asked her to keep it a secret.” (Y/n) pouted.

“(Y/n), it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that you were behind that project,” Penny sighed, “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for anything. I was happy to help get the ball rolling. I love you guys and you do so much for Jas and Vincent, you deserve it. Now,” (Y/n) shifted a bit uncomfortably, “what exactly is digging into my back right now?”

“Oh!” Penny pulled back a bit, but kept the pendant out of (Y/n)’s sight. “I’ve only dreamed of doing this until I met you, it’s never felt more real, tangible. Oh my, this is nerve wracking.” Penny blushed.

“Take your time dear, breathe.” (Y/n) regarded Penny with soft eyes, rubbing her back comfortingly.

“(Y/n),” Penny spoke after a moment of collecting herself, “will you marry me?”

Penny presented the pendant, her eyes struggling to look at the farmer directly, but when the farmer pulled her back into another tight embrace she melted into their arms like warm butter.

“Yes, I love you! Yes.” The farmer cheered, their voice muffled by Penny’s shoulder. The vibrations, and words that created them, made Penny giggle with delight.

They stumbled into the farmhouse to celebrate their engagement, basking in each other’s company.

“I almost feel bad.” Penny suddenly stated, curled up in (Y/n)’s arms.

“Hm? What for, sweetheart?” (Y/n) asked as they ran their fingers through Penny’s hair.

“Mom will be in that big house all by herself. I’ll still see her everyday though, it’s not like I’m moving to Zuzu City... the idea of not living with her after all this time just feels odd.”

“I can understand that. It’ll take some getting used to. Just think of how nice it’ll be though, when somewhere down the line, we send our kids to grandma’s house for visits.”

“That does sound really nice. I’m really looking forward to starting a family with you.”

“Me too.” (Y/n) said. Then they leaned in to kiss Penny’s nose with great care and affection.

***

“Then a couple days later, we were married in front of the whole town.” (Y/n) finished softly, looking fondly over at Penny.

“That’s a nice story,” the eldest child yawned, “I wanna stay at grandma’s house again soon.”

“Of course, sweetie. We’ll work something out soon.” Penny promised whilst adjusting the fast asleep younger sibling in her lap, “now, it’s time to go to bed.”

“Alright,” The older child sighed before yawning again. “Carry me.”

(Y/n) released an amused exhale before standing and hoisting their child into their arms. Penny followed suit with the other, tucking them into their beds and kissing them goodnight.

Together, (Y/n) and Penny retired to their own room, falling into bed with tired groans.

“Those kids can be handful sometimes.” (Y/n) said, smiling all the while.

“Yes, and I wouldn’t want it any other way,” Penny rolled over to peck the farmer on the lips, “love you, sleep well.”

“I love you too, sweet dreams. I can’t wait to do this all again tomorrow.”

“Neither can I.”

[stanknotstark]

Curse Her (No Really)

So that’s the look i imagine is on Loki’s face when he’s like “Can’t know what?” Anyways I had this idea yesterday after thinking about how I grew into an allergy to acrylic. It started off as an idea to grow into an allergy to gold but then i was like NO what if Amora cursed you instead and just ran with it lol Also Uno is totally the Monopoly of card games, I play it with my friends online and there is constant back stabbing and yelling 😂

P.S. I nearly said pus-y but spelled it as pu$$y and just barely caught it holy cow that could have been bad 🤣

Summary: Amora curses you so you can’t wear gold anymore, the metal being Loki’s favorite type of jewelry to gift you and see you wear with pride. You don’t want to tell him because you’re strong and independent and can figure this out without him, right?

In hindsight you should have seen this coming, honestly. 

You sit in the lab with Tony, you on his table, your legs dangling, and Tony in his seat looking over the holoscreen in front of him with a frown. Bruce is out of town being the humanitarian he is so Tony is left with the job of running scans on those who are affected in battle. You’re just lucky Loki joined the team and helped Tony and Bruce make machines that can scan magic. 

“She cast a spell so you can’t wear gold anymore?” Tony says, his frown deepening. “That’s...a stupid curse.” Tony says looking a bit bewildered.

You let out a bitter chuckle. “She’s jealous that Loki is with me and knows that he loves to gift his sweethearts gold jewelry,” You tell the genius with a roll of your eyes. You look at the ground and sigh. “I suppose I should keep this a secret because if Loki finds out he’ll hunt down Amora and attack her. The last thing I want is Amora teasing me for not being able to fight my own fights.” 

“That is a horrible idea,” Tony pips up looking at you sympathetically. “However, as the resident, number one placeholder of bad ideas, I say do exactly that if you’re really that turned off by some teasing.” Tony says, half heartedly trying to convince you to not follow through with this plan but knowing he failed by the pinched look on your face. 

It only takes two days. Two. For Loki to realize you’re not wearing his jewelry. 

You’re lucky he realizes while in the middle of a team bonding activity, card games. 

“Darling, where’s your necklace?” Loki asks lightly as he watches Steve put down a reverse card so instead of being Clint’s turn it’s Tony’s. Clint responds by calling Steve a buttface causing Steve to laugh out of shock.

Your eyes flick over to Tony’s, whose eyes meet yours for a second before you’re both looking at the cards on the floor again. You don’t notice it but Loki definitely noticed the look you both shared but chooses to ignore it.

“I’m letting it soak, it needed to be cleaned and polished.” You easily slip the lie out of your lips. When you look at Loki you’re lucky he isn’t looking at you at first because he can usually read your lies. As he skims his eyes back over to you you let a soft smile slide over your lips to which the god answers with a tilt of his lips. 

When he looks away you swallow, Tony catching your eyes and raising his eyebrows. 

Tell him. Tony’s eyes flash.

Not right now! You push back through your eyes and a small shake of your head.

Tony rolls his eyes and that’s the end of that silent conversation. 

The subject isn’t brought up again until the fourth day. 

You know Loki has definitely caught on to the fact that you stay in Tony’s lab a lot recently but you’re thankful he doesn’t ask questions about it.

“Where are your rings?” Loki outright asks, grabbing your hand and rubbing over your fingers with his thumb, his face in a slight frown as he looks at your bare hands. He notes that you wear silver bangles instead of your usual gold.

You both are getting ready for a press release about Amora’s attack and usually you love to flash your jewelry to the public, as if yelling from the roof tops that Loki is yours when you’re adorned in his colors and gifts. 

“I, uh, lost them,” You mutter out, playing it up and acting ashamed with your flushed cheeks and pulling your hand from Loki’s to hug yourself. “I’m sorry, I’ll find them though.” You bite your lip looking at Loki’s face. The god smiles tenderly and brings his hand up to caress at your jaw. 

“It is fine. I will help you look for them when we have the time.” Loki tells you, his hand falling from your face to grab your hand and lead you from the room. 

You totally miss the disappointed frown that passes over Loki’s face as you pass the dresser in the room and he sees the rings laying there. 

By the sixth day Loki hasn’t said anything else about your missing jewelry. However, yesterday, a day after the press release, Loki had left your rings on your night stand without another word about them.

You can tell Loki is pulling from you, putting up walls that you had worked so hard to demolish. He seems more standoffish and irritated now if his scathing remarks to the team are a tell. You really should just tell him what’s going on but you’re stubborn. 

Today, you sit with Tony in the lab hoping he’ll find a way to make this stupid curse just disappear. While you could wear the gold it would leave you with a noticeable rash within a few hours and if worn long enough pockets of pus appear. If Loki noticed that he would start asking questions you can’t, or rather don’t want to, answer

“I think we need to tell him, I’m honestly lost,” Tony says swiveling in his chair to look at you. “Magic isn’t my forte, it’s Loki’s.” He explains as if you don’t know that. 

“Tony, Amora will never let me live this down. She will always belittle me for being weak and having to ask for help to figure this out.”

“Technically you’ve already asked for help...” Tony points out hesitantly. 

“This is different. She will call me dependent on Loki, like I wasn’t a threat before he came along and I’m his little damsel in distress,” You say letting out a frustrated growl and covering your face with your hands. “I don’t know how to explain what I mean, ok, I just can’t tell Loki.” 

“Uh...” Is all Tony says as you failed to notice someone else came into the lab. 

“Look, I love Loki but he can’t know.” You say with finality, letting your hands drop.

“Loki can’t know what, exactly?” Loki asks in a smooth but dangerously low tone.

You gasp, jumping a little in your spot on Tony’s work table. Your eyes are wide as saucers and you’re sure you can feel the blood from your face leave. 

Loki stands a few feet away with his arms crossed and a pissed look on his face. 

The room is incredibly silent, the tension able to be cut with a dull butter knife. You’re lucky Tony comes to save you. 

Tony sighs, brings a hand up to rub through his hair and looks at Loki with a grimace as if dreading to tell Loki a, false, secret.

Wow he was a great actor, shouldn’t be surprising considering he grew up under the paparazzi’s thumb but to see it in action? It’s shocking.

“She wants me to build her some armor. Says she feels inadequate next to all of us since she doesn’t have powers or anything cool other than pistols.” Tony, falsely, admits. 

Loki frowns at Tony before his eyes slide over to you looking to see if Tony speaks the truth. You quickly make yourself believe Tony’s lie, putting on your brave face as you look at the God of Lies in the eyes. 

You know you’ve succeeded because Loki drops his arms and walks over to you. Tony moves away to tinker with something else in his lab, giving you both space, and quickly flicking the holoscreen he had been looking at away before Loki gets a close look at it and it reveals your secret. 

Loki spreads your knees so he may stand between your legs and brings a hand up to grip your chin and make you look up at him. 

“You will never be inadequate. You deserve a spot on this team, powers or not. You are a formidable warrior and I’m honored to be able to fight by your side,” Loki tells you, his voice strong and confident, his eyes filled with love. “Why would you hide this from me?” He then whispers, his eyebrows stitched together in a hurt look.

You swallow the lump in your throat and consider telling Loki the truth as you look into his eyes and see how much he truly loves you. How much it hurts him to know you’ve been lying to his face.

“I-” 

Suddenly the tower’s klaxons are roaring to life and causing the moment to be broken. You, Loki, and Tony stand at attention. 

“Sir, Amora has breeched your defenses, she is fighting Mr. Rogers and Odinson on floor 84. I believe they have it handled though.” Jarvis supplies you all. 

You and Loki quickly make your way to the floor, Tony lagging behind to put on his suit. 

When you get there Steve and Thor have Amora bound with magic resistant cuffs as she kneels on the ground between them. When she sees you her eyes light up at the fact you are without any jewelry and gives a dark laugh. 

“You haven’t rid yourself of my curse? I figured Loki would break it within 24 hours. You’re losing your touch aren’t you, mage?” Amora says looking over to Loki with a perfectly coiffed eyebrow raised in question. 

Loki looks over to you with confusion on his face and you sigh. Of course the bitch had to ruin everything you’ve been avoiding. 

“Oh,” Amora says, her face slack with shock. Then it splits into an evil grin. “He doesn’t know?”

You glance at Loki who is looking between the two of you with avid interest. Steve and Thor look confused as well. Tony’s suit clanks over to Amora and slaps a magic resistant gag over her mouth, giving you a look that tells you you need to tell Loki everything, now.

Steve, Thor and Tony leave with Amora leaving you in the silent room with a very confused Loki.

“What does she speak of?” Loki finally asks when you refuse to give him anything as you stand there looking at the ground like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. “You’re cursed?” Loki asks, concern laced in his words causing you to feel worse.

You let a tear drop from your eye, blowing out a deep breath and looking at Loki. 

“She cursed me so I can’t wear gold without getting a bad rash and pus pockets.” You let the words tumble out of your lips, a small hiccup coming out of your mouth at the end of the sentence. 

Loki frowns at you, obviously wanting to comfort you but doesn’t reach for you yet. “That is why you haven’t been wearing my jewelry?” Loki asks for confirmation. 

You nod, bringing a hand up to wipe at your tears. 

You don’t expect it but Loki quickly envelops you into his arms in a crushing hug. One hand holding your head to his chest, the other rubbing over your back. His body relaxing into yours as if relieved.

“You’re not mad?” You ask the god shakily, your words hitting his chest as puffs of air from your mouth. You bring your arms up and hug Loki back.

“Darling, I thought you had grown tired of me, that you were slipping from my grasps, that you were going to ask to split any day now.” Loki says into your hair where he litters kisses. “I thought you had fallen for Tony.” Loki explains his own voice wavering a bit at the confession.

“What,” You say shocked, your arms squeezing Loki tighter at the realization of the hurt you put Loki through this past week, “No, never, Tony is my friend. I just didn’t want to have to be saved by you all the time. I don’t want to be your damsel in distress. I want us both to be dependent but also independent, that’s all.” You explain into Loki’s chest, your body now shaking with the emotions that overwhelm you. 

Loki lets out a relieved laugh, pulling away just enough so he may look down at you. “You will never be a damsel in distress, with need of my help or not. I told you, you are formidable on your own, a warrior with a brave spirit.” 

Suddenly you feel really stupid. Amora had gotten inside your head and screwed everything up. Loki was right, as he usually is. 

You let out a shaky laugh. “Can you please break this curse so I can wear your jewelry again? I miss it, a lot.” You ask of Loki who only smiles at you fondly and nods. 

“Of course, darling.”