#don’t play with me rn Matty

[nowshesdoingitallthetime]

What

[quinn-or-leon-or-brock-or-matty]

Hi yes today I actually am barely a functioning human being. And by barely I mean I’m quite simply not!

[thenickgirl]

First Date HeadCanons

bf!nick x male!reader

requested by: nonnie 🎀

disclaimer: this is all fictional and based on my own conclusions.

warnings: short, not proofread, fluffy

a/n: saurrr sorry this is kinda short, but i literally have the worst block rn. don’t fight me guys, i’ll do better 😭

Nick on a First Date:

♡ despite him being a little nervous, he’d be so excited for your date, literally never shutting up about.

♡ he would have it all planned out to the T, wanting everything to be absolutely perfect.

♡ since he can’t drive, he’ll uber to your place and pick you up.

♡ i can’t see him showing up to your house with flowers, but i wont put it past him.

“umm…i got you these..”

♡ he would take you somewhere fun where he can get to know and have good time, maybe mini golf or or carnival or something of that nature.

♡ if he takes you to a carnival, he’ll grab your hand and drag you along to different game booths, trying to win the biggest plushie for you.

“nick, it’s okay really, you don’t have to…”

“noo, i wanna win this for you”

♡ if you’re at mini golf, he’ll get behind you, teaching you how to hold your club, showing you how to hit the ball, and even though you’ve played before you’ll pretend you haven’t because it’s so cute how concentrated he is about teaching you.

♡ he’s a big spoiler as well so whatever you see that you like he’s buying it for sure.

♡ he would be so giddy, blushing most of the time maybe stumbling his words.

♡ even with him being a little nervous, he would still tease you, making jokes here and there. he just loves hearing you laugh.

♡ he’ll hold your hand while you’re walking around, and if it’s chilly he’ll give you his jacket when you get cold.

♡ he would be flooding you with compliments the whole night

“you look amazing, by the way”

“i love that shirt on you”

“you’re so fucking cute”

♡ there would be lots of pictures. he’ll take so many of you and of you two together, and you would take a few of him as well.

“we actually look so cute together”

“yeah, we do. stick with me, kid”

“oh shut uppp”

♡ he would be staring at you the whole night, and when you catch him he’ll blush and look away.

♡ before the night ends, he’ll steal a kiss, taking your breath away.

“i’ve been wanting to do that all night”

🏷️: @mattslolita @muwapsturniolo @freshloveforthefit @guccifrog @luverboychris @sturniolossss @imsosillygoofylol @matty-bear @moonk1ss3d @ghostking4m @nicksmainbitch @orangelala

[thefrontofmymind]

hiii i love your instagram prompts! idk if you take requests but i'd love if you made one where y/n is the lead singer of a band opening for the 1975 on tour :)

supporting artist!reader x matty healy instagram blurb

(FC: Pomme)

a/n: hey so i had a not-so big brained moment and forgot this request asked for a lead singer of a band but i hope it's still okay. requests are open and any feedback is greatly appreciated. kisses!! xxx

nmemagazine Who is yn? This up-and-comer has made quite a splash in the past year and it seems only up from here! Between securing a supporting spot on The 1975’s ‘At Their Very Best’ Tour, just about to embark on their UK & Ireland leg, as well as a heavily anticipated debut album just months away, we’re sure you’ll want to keep an eye on her! More info at the link in our bio!

view all comments

ynfan1 so proud of her!!!!

1975fan1 she seems so cool! so excited for tour!!

ynfan2 gahh!!! i remember when she would play venues for like 100 people and now she’s touring with the 1975!!!

yninstagram alexa, play she’s leaving home by the beatles (sidenote: couldn’t be more excited for the next month or so <;3)

view all comments

ynfriend don’t be too long!!

>yninstagram you know i couldn’t go without you!!!

ynfan1 SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU IN EXETER!!!!!

ynfan2 so prettyyyyy

ynfan3 mother is mothering so hard rn

pollymoney buzzing for you to join us xxx

>yninstagram me too ! x

yninstagram Brighton, you were beautiful, I just wish I didn’t rip my favourite pair of pants minutes before I had to go on stage. Xxx

view all comments

ynfan1 I was there!!! You did amazing!!!

>yninstagram thank you dear xxx

1975fan1 i’d never heard of her before last night’s show but i was impressed! you got a new number 1 fan!

ynfan2 can’t wait to see you!!!

-----

yninstagram via stories:

-----

ynupdates yn performing in Exeter! tonight she made a speech at the end of her set to introduce The 1975: “I want to thank you for listening and letting me perform here tonight, but I know you’re all not here for me. So I’d like to introduce the one, the only–my bosses–The 1975!”

view all comments

ynfan1 she was so good!!!

ynfan2 she’s so sweet!! My new fav artist!!

1975updates “Did you see yn before? She’s pretty cool–very talented…She’s also pretty hot which is great on tour…She knows this I told her.” -Matty tonight about yn, the supporting artist on their UK tour.

view all comments

1975fan1 ah matty healy, trying to get cancelled since 1989

1975fan2 ok but likeeee why could i see them together???

>ynfan1 no bc ur so right

1975fan3 ok matty’s got a new girl time to lay down in a busy intersection

ynupdates yn went live on instagram this morning!! she was hanging out with Polly from The 1975’s band!

view all comments

yn1975fan1 ok but yn and polly as besties,,,,,a dream come true 

>yn1975fan2 ikr they’re so cute!!!

yn1975fan3 the way yn knows all the words to the sound and sung it flawlessly on the live…iconic behaviour

ynfan1 did anyone see when yn was asked if she heard what Matty said on stage and she was like ‘of course! he tells me like every day’ i ship them so hard!!

>ynfan2 literally!!! And she got all smiley and giggly after too!!

yninstagram tfw u hit ur face on the headboard see u tn o2 xxx

view all comments

pollymoney you scare me babes

>yninstagram dw abt it babes

ynfan1 omg are you okay????

>yninstagram yeah honey just a minor nosebleed xxx

ynfan2 how did you hit your face on the headboard??

>yninstagram got a lil too crazy ig 🤪

trumanblack nice ;)

>1975fan1 mATTY SKJHGSDKUYDOS

ynupdates yn tonight in London!!

view all comments

ynfan1 she seemed so happy tonight!!

>ynfan2 ikr!! She was so smiley for the whole set!!!

-----

trumanblack via stories:

-----

1975updates tonight in Glasgow, yn joined the band on stage to sing Jesus Christ 2005 God Bless America!! It’s the first time since the song was released that it has been performed live!

view all comments

yn1975fan1 did yall see how cute yn and matty were????

>yn1975fan2 when they hugged at the end of the song and he kissed her head?? I DIED

1975fan1 just about sobbed when they sang this

yn1975fan3 ok but between how cute yn and matty were on stage and their ig posts on tour does anyone get the vibeeee

>ynfan1 i ship them so hard

yninstagram mon bonheur xxx

TAGGED: trumanblack

view all comments

trumanblack xxx

yn1975fan1 sHUTUP I CANT BREATHEEEEE

yn1975fan2 OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!

1975fan1 welp,,,time to jump in front of a bus

yn1975fan3 idk who I’m more jealous of

yn1975fan4 my PARENTS <;33

[uramilf]

A/N: Hi everybody! Here’s the prologue of my first series fic called The Record Shop. I’m extremely excited to share this, enjoy the first part! Don’t worry, it’s gonna get more exciting in the first proper chapter. I hope you guys like the sound of our main character Penny (she is named this because every OC i come up with is given a name that I would defo name a baby in the future and penny is my top name rn) Ps. the gif below is exactly how I imagine Matty looking for the duration of this fic lol. I’m sorry but I love mullet Matty xox

The Record Shop —Prologue

Matty Healy au x OC

Warnings: No smut in this part but this fic will contain smut and angst!

*Penny’s POV*

I moved to Manchester from London in June, ready to move on from my shit relationships, my shit job, and my shit family. I had managed to find a new job in a hairdressing salon, hopefully with staff nicer than the last one I worked at. It certainly seemed that way, and the higher pay was a thrilling bonus. My new flat was small but cosy, and I planned on making it beautiful. It was already packed with all the things I loved; scented candles and fairy lights and pretty cushions. I had stuck a few of my favourite bands’ posters on the walls and propped up my guitars in the corners. There were little potted plants on the windowsills and a couple of soft blankets draped over the sofa. My clothes were hanging on a rail in my new bedroom and my record player had been plugged into the wall beside my bed.

I looked around my new flat, thrilled with how much it felt like home already. That is, until my eyes fell on a pile of photos of me and my friends from back home. The pictures spanned over 5 years, from we were 16 and still in school, til now when we were 21. I had left school after my GCSEs (which were abysmal, so it’s a good thing I decided not to go to uni), did a short hairdressing course and got my first job as a proper hairdresser at 20. I worked in London for a year until my relationship broke down and I decided it was time for a fresh start, away from him and away from my family who were still upset that I didn’t complete my A-Levels and “make something of myself.” I felt a pang of loneliness while looking at the photos, realising I didn’t know anyone down here at all. I wasn’t yet friends with my new co-workers, I didn’t know my postman or the staff in the local shops, I didn’t know which nightclubs were good, not that I had anyone to go out with. I didn’t know my new doctor, or my new dentist, or where to get a nice cup of coffee. Everything that I knew about London was gone. But if starting over meant knowing nothing, I would just have to live with it.

—————

My first day at work was great - my co-workers were friendly and seemed like the type of girls you could really have a laugh with, the customers were chatty enough to keep me entertained throughout the day, and I felt for once like I was in control of my own life. As I walked out of the salon at 5pm clutching my handbag, all feeling of loneliness had dispersed; and I was elated.

A couple of streets away from my flat I walked past a little record shop with a neon pink “open” sign on the door. I could hear Fleetwood Mac playing from inside, which instantly got my attention. I decided to have a browse, maybe treat myself to a new record. Stepping inside, I had a quick look around. The walls were painted a calming cream colour and were lined with band posters and shelves of CDs and records, and I instantly spotted some of my favourites. There was no one at the cash register, but I assumed the staff had nipped out to the back as I could hear a couple of men laughing and chatting. I stepped into the 90s section the shop, flipping through the records in the middle. Just then I heard footsteps in the back corner of the store and looked up.

A boy about my age was standing there, wearing a black t-shirt with the store logo, a pair of black skinny jeans ripped at the knees and black boots. He was gorgeous; deep brown eyes and soft-looking brown hair that was shaved at the sides into a kind of mullet style (which usually I hated, but he made it work). One of his ears was pierced with a small hoop earring and his bare arms were covered in tattoos. He looked to be a good bit taller than me, and he was thin but the tattooed arms seemed quite muscular. The name tag on his top read “Matty”. He smiled a gorgeous smile at me and I felt my breath catch in my throat.

“Can I help you with anything darling?”

—————

A/N: thank you for reading! Soz for the very long note at the start but I wanted to get some things out there lol x

[the1975attheirverybest]

Concept (apologies if you've already discussed this): what would Matty do if he catches his girlfriend masturbating? And what would do if she catches him?

Oh, he wouldn’t shut up about it for a MONTH. Like, he’d tease her about it endlessly and keep bringing it up randomly, haha. Like “remember that day when I came home early and you were going at it? So insatiable, wow.” Or, let me slightly paraphrase his own lyrics “love it when you love yourself.” But, of course, in the moment, he’d be like “umm…baby? Whatcha doin’ there? Oh no! Don’t be shy! No, no, stay right there. Don’t move. Let me help you with that…give your hand a rest, I’ve got two. Tag me in!” And he’s rush over to the bed/ couch/ wherever she is…and finish the job. “Admit it: my hands feel nicer.”

If SHE walks in on him…haha I imagine it a little like that story he so unashamedly told on TAFS podcast. Where 30 seconds after his guests left, he was watching p*rn and touching himself and then the poor girl walked back in to get her water bottle and found him…playing with himself, oop. HAHAHA.

He’d just jump up and start putting his jeans back on. And she’d shake her head “horny boy, gosh! Do men never grow up?” And he’d blush and laugh and roll his eyes and tell her to get the fuck out but like the TV is still on and showing the most obscene adult movie that she’s just frozen in place, can’t look away, stunned by what he’s watching, lmao.

[itlivesproject]

here is the abel simp anon ILW FINALE thought dump (part 2! covers from when we play as devon until as we play as rowan)

2 months later? damn

NOW PLAYING AS DEVON??????? I HAD TO PUT THE GAME DOWN JUST TO GASP

….the memorial? oh dear grab the tissues

WE SAVED EVERY POSSIBLE SURVIVOR LET’S GO

connor is back and i am just as in love with him as ever

“Besides, you know how great a couple she and Abel make. I'm sure they're both doing great together.” i think i actually just squeaked

YOU CAN’T REMIND ME OF MAYOR GREEN.. AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO HER ???

and janie :(

loha… she deserved so much better :(

and finally, jessica, the start of it all (whose cg remains to be one of the best things i’ve ever seen in my life)

lincoln giving ratty matty’s money to a nonprofit for DA, that’s our guy!!!!!

i think lincoln aquino is a beautiful name! much better than the ties to the mcquoid name, i’m happy for him<3

amalia and jocelyn being besties? impeccable friendship

AND THE CURE IS WORKING! I’M SO HAPPY FOR THEM ALL

and amalia’s school record are fixed ??? THAT’S MY GIRL!!! SHE’S GONNA BE THE BEST LAWYER THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN

ELLIOT AND ROBBIE!!!!

harper and tom being the cutest for 1 minute straight

omg devon and harper having a handshake?? besties confirmed

CONNOR AND NOAH MY LOVES

someone pay for connor’s therapy PLEASE he will need bucket-loads of it at this point

THE COPS DROPPED NOAH’S INVESTIGATION?? MY BOY!! HE IS FREE!!!

“you know you can stay here for as long as you need” CONNOR AND NOAH ARE BEST FRIENDS CANONICALLY BECAUSE I SAY SO

noah’s mother hate club ‼️

sunny and luis deserve every happiness this world has to offer

ava thinking that being possessed was cool is so on brand😭

“Also, you need therapy.” dan keepin things real

the green siblings have my whole heart

CONNOR DIRTY THIRTY???????????? this is truly the best possible ending.

new music track????

“I love you when you're teasing me, I love you when we fight. love you when you're covered in blood or monster guts.” “Connor tells you these words every morning when you wake up, and every night when he goes to bed, but somehow, it always manages to feel like it's the first time he's said them.” he is the only man to ever exist. (alongside abel of course)

also connor, strong disagree with the chocolate in the fridge thing

STOP IT !???? PROPOSAL ???!?????? I STOOD UP. I WAS SAT DOWN AND I HAD TO STAND UP.

YES. HELL YES. MARRIAGE?!!

“Come on, sweetheart. Marry me?” WELL HOW THE HELL DO I SAY NO TO THAT???

i am grinning like a FOOL

“Your heart lifts to your throat as you examine the ring. It's so detailed, so personal. Leaves, like the forest around you, the forest you fell in love in. Your initials carved into the bottom. A diamond like you've always wanted.” i think i just died and went to heaven. HE IS THE CUTEST MAN EVER STOP IT

AND HE MADE IT HIMSELF? why don’t men like him actually exist.

i am now sat back down but i will stand back up if i need to. that is a threat.

THERES MORE?

“It's a house. With a yard for a dog, and enough rooms for guests and offices, and an address that doesn't confuse delivery drivers. It looks happy. And it's ours, if you want it.” the only reason i am not crying rn is because i am positively overwhelmed

i could literally quote all of his dialogue because it is all so incredible but i’m going to stop because this is long enough as it is😭

“God, you're so put together and capable. It's hot.” devon keeping it real

“Sweetheart, I love you, but all my lines work on you.” i said i would stop quoting connor and i lied, i just love him so much

“It’s no wonder there are deep grooves in the paint” YOU DIDN’T

for the one and only connor dirty thirty…. you guys nailed it (😏) also fun fact, if you remember getting as ask right at the very start of the project asking if connor green was in it and if we could bang him… that was me😳

“He wraps his arms around you, and it feels like coming home” ok it’s like you’re TRYING to get me to tear up now

(continued in part 3!)

-abel simp anon🤍

PART TWO

[bisluthq]

I don’t think most of Matty’s exes have many nice things to say about him at all, but the difference between him and someone like John IMO is John strikes me as much more of a calculated manipulator, like I very much get the sense he plays mind games on purpose, love bombs on purpose and lies knowing full well he doesn’t mean it and is fucking with them. I’m pretty sure he’s openly said as much in interviews lol. Which is very strange like when he was dating Taylor, I cannot think of a bigger red flag than a man acting like he’s in love with you and playing mind games then going to every media outlet like “something I enjoy doing is fucking with girls heads and getting them to love me then dipping on them” 💀.

Matty on the other hand is messy and chaotic and doesn’t know what he wants or what he’s doing. I think he promises forever because that’s what he feels in the moment, I think he jumps head first into falling in love the way Taylor does, but what he doesn’t have is consistency and realistic dedication to making it work. Or at least he hasn’t with Taylor and many others, obviously he’s been in longer relationships and may be dif with gabby, idk. But I don’t think it was a master manipulator plan, I think he took her ring off her middle finger etc. bc in the moment he was thinking “omg what if she was my wife? I feel like I’d like to marry her rn, I’ll put her ring on the wedding finger” 🤷‍♀️

this is what I think too but for example Halsey, while she’s said meh things about him in Colors especially, is still friendly with him. I suppose a few of John’s exes are as well but idk. I agree that John is purposefully manipulative and Matty is just fucking crazy lol.

[allylikethecat]

talk shop tuesday!

ally! how are you?

i was reading through all the asks and i was having the best time reading about the matties lmao anons just kept going and going and i love it 😭 also, i’m glad pop is well!

today was pretty uneventful, i sat on the phone disputing a charge on my bank account today ugh but i finally got the bank to give me my money back so i can’t complain there. oh but i did catch up with some friends i hadn’t seen in a while over the weekend and that was lovely

todays update: i was extremely surprised by our update today!!! i loved it sm while atkh matty has my (and everyone else’s) heart rn, it’s good to hear from my first favorite, infection!verse matty <3 unfortunately he wasn’t doing too hot but that’s not a shock lol, what DID shock me was that we are exploring different birthdays! i thought from the first chapter we were gonna continue with matty being 28 and leading up to the attempt form the og storyline!! I love the attention the detail you always add to your work. it just shows how much you love the fandom and how much you care for your own work. like mentioning the balloon wanting to be held, and the reference to the real cake photo lol

talk shop tuesday!!

when you’re in a creative slump, what’s something that usually helps?

do you have anyone you share your work or ideas with before us?

- 🥤

also if my asks are way too long please don’t be afraid to tell me it won’t hurt my feelings i will tone them down if you want because i just word vomit and send it in 😬

HELLO MY DEAR SMOOTHIE ANON,

First off, please NEVER apologize for sending a long ask omg I get SO EXCITED whenever I see you in my inbox omg the only thing better than asks/fic comments are LONG asks and fic comments so thank you so so much for feeding my soul with these. I apologize that I am about to type out the longest ever response lol

Second, Happy Talk Shop Tuesday! Thank you for indulging me in my favorite day of the week 🩵 Pop and I appreciate the well wishes. After sending me spiraling last week and costing me lots of money the little fucker has decided that he is "totally fine now" and he hasn't even started his new expensive medication yet because it had to be special ordered 😑 The official verdict is that he was sore after playing too hard in turn out so really he's just an idiot who did it to himself. I rode him before work today and when I got to the barn he was bucking and playing on the walker. I was like SIR YOU ARE SEVENTEEN PLEASE STOP and then he was his version of wild for our hack - he just wanted to zoom. 🤦🏻‍♀️ LOL the Multiple Fictional!Matties of madness! I was giggling so hard yesterday answering all those asks. Those anon(s) are iconic and I am so grateful to them for indulging me and sending us down such a fun rabbit hole (or at least... I thought it was fun)

I'm happy to hear that you had an uneventful day, sometimes those are the best kind of days! I'm also very glad to hear that you were able to dispute the charge and get the money back from the bank! That kind of stuff is always so stressful 😭 I also hope you had a lovely time with your friends this weekend!

AHH I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed today's update! I know it probably wasn't the one ~the people~ were hoping for, but I had a lot of fun working on it and have been not so patiently waiting to post it lol (plus that one anon a while back did always say it was best to post that fic chaotically when it was least expected!) ATKH Fictional!Matty might be the current favorite child, and I am SO GRATEFUL that for all the love that he has received! But Infection Verse Fictional!Matty will always be the OG favorite child lol

I'm glad I was still able to surprise you with the fics direction! I took a page out of The A&E Fic's book and decide that each chapter was going to follow a different birthday / year instead of it being one "moment" in time like the Christmas Fic (the Christmas Fic was supposed to just be a very long one shot though RIP) Don't worry, we will still eventually return to twenty eight year old Fictional!Matty and his very not great year and subsequent inpatient treatment / adjustment to his new normal after. I also really want to write about Infection Verse Fictional!Matty and Fictional!George getting together as teenagers the first time. I swear I'll write those fics eventually I love the infection verse too much to leave it fully lol I'm excited for the next birthday - any guesses how old fictional!Matty will be turning? 😉

Including the cake was a last minute decision - someone had sent me that photo a few weeks ago and I was like omg I must include it somehow! And the balloon thing is one of my favorite little details - ever since reading that New Yorker article I've been trying to weave that little detail / feeling into all the different infection verse fics.

TALK SHOP TUESDAY TIME

When I'm in a creative slump I usually put on my writing playlist (lol I listen to The Chainsmokers when I write because millennial) and just write something, anything. I make myself write at least 500 words a day, whether it's for a fic, my own original fiction, or literally anything. By making myself write SOMETHING everyday, I'm usually able to push through my creative slumps because even if it sucks I did write *something* which usually helps keep me from getting too in my head if that makes sense? Chatting about fic with a few mutuals has also been very helpful as well!

In terms of sharing my work / ideas with someone before posting about it on here- I used to share it with my bestie but then she got a new boyfriend and decided she wasn't into fandom or fic anymore so out of respect for her I have stopped doing that, I do now have a very beloved trusted mutual on here though that I usually spit ball ideas with now and then I am very, very grateful for them!

Thank you SO MUCH for sending such a truly fantastic ask! I apologize for writing a novel in response, if you've made it this far thank you SO MUCH for reading and for the continued support! I hope you continue to enjoy my fics and I look forward to your next ask 🩵 I hope you enjoy Friday's ATKH update and that you are having a wonderful Tuesday and a fantastic rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[whatiwillsay]

I still don’t think Matty was real or this Travis guy. Saying it and going to a game or having a guy go to your concerts each time playing with Phoebe screams PR stunt to me. It’s all too childish and cringe.

do you know what pr is for? it’s to elevate your public relations and profile. matty really doesn’t do that and travis hurts her from an exposure standpoint. matty was definitely real and while the jury is somewhat out on travis i’m not thinking it’s pr rn either. taylor’s just bi.

[punkscowardschampions]

Mafi Pt.2

Mattie: [‘are you actually sorry?’ as a more genuine question than it probably even sounds ‘cos we likewise are not in full control of our reactions, try as we might, and that obviously did something to us ‘or do you just want me to tell you off?’]

Fi: [‘I don’t think so, I don’t think I’ve ever been less sorry’ because do not have a single regret right here or right now, soz haters, as we unnecessarily touch her lips as if correcting the lipstick application she did on herself earlier without a mirror]

Mattie: [looking at her the most !! we have ever because are we going to do this, after all this time ‘are you wearing anything under your jacket?’ because sometimes gals just wear the jacket, I can’t tell what the vibe is]

Fi: [‘guess’ as she plays with a button before undoing it but not one that’ll give you a  definite reveal, just a teaser button, to do it, because I bet you aren’t, you’re that bitch]

Mattie: [shaking our head for a no, because we clearly think you aren’t either and that isn’t just wishful thinking, pulling her closer with this jacket but not with any kind of force, pretty gently so she still has to come herself if she wants to ‘it’s December, you weren’t going to overheat’ the weren’t being emphasised like UNTIL NOW]

Fi: [‘and I was running so late’ as she does come closer because ofc she wants to, like you didn’t put anything on cos you couldn’t spare the time to decide what lol ‘I couldn’t stop practising what I’d say, what I’d do, when I saw you’ because it has been a minute and you would be nervous even if this hadn’t been how it went]

Mattie: [undoing however many other buttons you need to to undo it but not moving it aside to expose her yet ‘but you can’t tell me’ with a little pout but we’re not fully pressuring like SAY IT]

Fi: [‘none of it felt how I want to make you feel’ as she’s using her fingers to gently turn her pout into a smile, or trying anyway, really just touching her face more than we ever have before]

Mattie: [‘you know how you make me feel’ almost impatiently, putting a hand around her waist under her jacket, digging our nails into the soft skin]

Fi: [making a noise in response to the action, letting herself do it ‘is that what you want to hear?’ as a shiver like we’re so cold all of a sudden]

Mattie: [just snaking this hand up your ribs until it’s under your boobs, kneading them with that impatient urgency, amped up by her reaction ‘I want to hear how I make you feel’ plainly put, yes]

Fi: [letting the next noise be more deliberately so, less of a quiet gasp and more of a lil !! moan like okay, that’s how you make me feel in case there was any doubt, emphasised by moving more into her touch as well as opposed to trying to stay as still as possible]

Mattie: [burying your face into her chest and finding a nipple with your nose, rubbing your face so softly against it, making it harder ‘very good’ as you start to lightly flick it with your tongue, your other hand rubbing the small of her back, pulling her into you more]

Fi: [pulling her into her more too because GRABBING her when all that occurs because so !! about everything that’s happening, leaving a lipstick mark on her neck the way she did on her glass, rubbing her thumb over it the way you saw her do but did not comment on or react to at the time]

Mattie: [fully sucking this nip into your mouth because you can’t handle her lips on your skin, never mind the reminder that comes with the sensation, pushing her boobs together as hard as you can to get both in your mouth at the same time if you can, swiping your tongue furiously around both similar to the lipstick application]

Fi: [fully moaning her name, excuse us everyone, nobody need a piss rn please, because not loud af but 100% her name and a moan so there’s no styling that out if anyone hears it, pushing her against the nearest wall of this bathroom as hard as she can using that blatant hip movement to do the most]

Mattie: [pulling her jacket so it’s hanging off her shoulders fully because got to let you know how little we care about anything else in this moment ‘unzip my dress’ as you’re pinned up against this wall]

Fi: [doing it, lowkey with enough !! you could break said zip because you also don’t give a shit rn, but don’t actually because that’d be very awks later, stepping back slightly to look at her once she has, because simply must]

Mattie: [step out of this dress so you’re fully here in your underwear and ballet shoes, biting your lip as you LOOK at her ‘do you want to touch me?��]

Fi: [in contrast to how little she cared but a second ago, picking this dress up and like draping/hanging it over something because it’s beautiful and we don’t wanna get it ruined by leaving it on the floor and walking over it, but not taking our eyes off her, obvs, LOOKING to a point she might as well be running her hands over her whole body because that’s the vibe of it, really making the anticipation kill before she follows everywhere her gaze was by touching her, so lightly compared to the intensity of the LOOK]

Mattie: [smiling at this, even if it looks like the smallest smile ever because the rest of your reactions, the ones you’ve allowed and the ones that you haven’t yet but can feel barely being held back, are occupying so much space in your brain that feels like it’s functioning on the most base level possible, not even consciously moving into her touch and making it more than it is but we are]

Fi: [kissing her, again leaving lipstick marks, starting where the perfume would typically be sprayed on her neck and wrists, but then because she also walked into the cloud of it and like wrapped herself in it, the excuse to just kiss her wherever the mood takes this girl, leaving lipstick everywhere on her body until there is none, y’all are gonna have to be vigilant about all the wild places that’s gone because I’m picturing the fold of her arm and all sorts of shit, but clearly in this moment you’re in it and you don’t care about the after, so]

Mattie: [you’re going to need to lowkey give yourself a bath with a wetwipe after this but neither of you cares in this moment about that, at all, nor do we have any desire not to be covered in your kisses entirely and our everything is making that well known]

Fi: [when your breathing is like you’ve been running a marathon or actually fucking each other senseless because the feels and level of desire is too high, nobody’s ever seen this sporty gal this breathless before, I’m sure, love that for y’all, I’m sure this boujee bathroom has some kind of seating moment, so sit on it and pull her into you]

Mattie: [putting both your hands over her heart to feel how fast it is beating right now, just looking at her like !! ‘cos do we stop here do we continue and get in a even more compromising position]

Fi: [knowing damn well you should stop because someone could literally come through that bathroom door any second, like they did earlier, so looking at it after we’ve returned her !! look to communicate that, but easier said than done to actually fully stop this now you’ve started it]

Mattie: [‘just-’ also looking between her face and the door constantly now because this is already a compromising situation and you know it girl, like you could be sorting an issue with your dress, yes, but you’re covered in lipstick so that doesn’t explain that away; holding her head in your hands and taking a deep breath before you go for it and actually kiss her on the lips because you haven’t yet, making the soft sounds that parallel the way we’re pushing into you with this, not holding back on making it a proper kiss]

Fi: [not making a single glance towards the door after her first one, purely watching this girl’s face the entire time, because in no world do you wanna stop either, we all know that, hence likewise doing the most with this first kiss immediately, so y’all are shamelessly just lying here making out as if there is no threat of discovery at all, we can’t even talk about the state of Mattie’s hair now too, cos obvs can’t leave that be, pulling her hair constantly to keep deepening this kiss somehow]

Mattie: [‘I want you so badly’ as something you can barely cope with stopping kissing her for one second to say but you must, holding her face in place for another stolen moment to trace your tongue around her lips like you’re putting on lipstick again, pressing it deep into her mouth to meet with hers and stifle your moans]

Fi: [‘you can have me completely’ with identical energy ‘I don’t care about-’ not needing to finish the sentence because of how clearly you don’t care about literally anything else rn with every single reaction you’re having to her actions and the way you’re once again kissing her like it’s your job]

Mattie: [‘I’ve wanted you since-’ cutting yourself off, putting your hands on her stomach, pressing down, kneading, with no clear goal beyond wanting to touch her more and in more places ‘wanted you in-’ again rudely not finishing that sentence properly, letting our mouth smear against yours so our faces are a mess of pink]

Fi: [‘you’ve given me butterflies every day since-’ not needing to finish her sentence because of course the answer is immediately ‘how I ate anything, I’ll never understand’ shoutout to those first ever iconic treats that she slayed]

Mattie: [whether you’re on top or she is or you’re sort of side by side, pulling her legs apart again to be closer to her like that, resting the full weight of your body on hers, feeling her bare legs under her trousers, grasping at every bit of her ‘you’re lovely’ like you always have been from that moment on]

Fi: [unzip your trousers with the same could break the zip energy as you did her dress, moving as much as you can without dislodging this gal from how she’s positioned but so they’ll fall because aren’t just going to the way her dress did but you wanna give her as much skin as she gave you, yet again regardless of this setting]

Mattie: [shamelessly folding them up and moving them to the side safely because she did it and you thought it was adorable, running your fingers up the full length of her legs, purposely ending right in the join of her thighs every time you come back up, pushing your thumbs in circles in this spot]

Fi: [the smile we’ve gotta do about it, because I’m sorry it’s as adorable when she does it, and such a caring and feminine gesture, what man would ever, doing hot lols because that’s ticklish when she’s touching her legs like that, which obviously catch every time she does her other antics, because that does not but we couldn’t be more into it]

Mattie: [just watching her face so adorably excited about her every reaction because you’ve never gone this far with a woman, going to say you’ve kissed some girls ‘cos that gay film exists and we’d be a fool to ignore but like it was never any deeper than that because then you got a serious boyfriend who didn’t let you do anything and you’ve only just got rid of him in the grand scheme of things ‘I can do it with my fingers but you’ll have to show me how to do it with my mouth’ quite matter of fact despite the !! of the current situation, ‘cos you’re a girl yourself, you know how that works but not the rest]

Fi: [my boo says we’d be damn fools to ignore that gay ballerina content and she’s so right for that, not this girl taking that as an instruction like okay hold on I’m gonna show you rn immediately, because of course she is, seriously excuse us everyone, because positioning her in a way she’ll be most comfortable on whatever kind of seating we have to work with and just going at this]

Mattie: [the GASP because we did not mean right now, obviously but it could not be more apparent how we feel about the fact you even attempted it ‘oh my god!’ and CLAMPING your hands over your mouth, the definition of shook about this right now excuse us]

Fi: [like, I’m sure you’re being slow and romantic and gay about it because you love her and you just know her terrible bf was not bringing the energy you’re going to to this, if he ever did it, there’s no telling with men tbh, but you’ve clearly done this before and have skillz that you’re absolutely buzzing to show off to her so, it’ll be !! especially because you 100% wouldn’t be able to resist talking her through some of these antics, being a literal teacher about it for obvious reasons]

Mattie: [when you’re torn between genuinely trying to concentrate and learn ‘cos obviously you want to do it well when it’s your turn and being too far gone because of how hot everything about this is to you ‘I can’t believe we’re doing this’ ‘cos truly, basically an understatement at this point]

Fi: [what I love most about this moment is, as much as she does wanna show off/teach her mad skillz, she’s also paying such close attention to the things Mattie likes and then really tailoring it instead of just being like hey look what I can wow you with, so important, thank you ‘maybe I’ll believe it when we’re genuinely old’ like maybe when I’m 45 it will sink in that this happened, because atm, hard same] 

Mattie: [as much as there’s a general skill to it, also can be v personal which little flairs people do or don’t vibe with, so an important overall lesson as well as being vital, honestly just pay attention and I don’t think you can go horrifically wrong; anyway, give her hair a little stroke about that as if you’re imagining it being grey]

Fi: [agreed, bubs, agreed ‘or perhaps not’ when she strokes her hair like okay no I’ll actually never be over it, with a smile and some heart eyes, before she’s back at this, doing the most to kill this girl in this bathroom]

Mattie: [clutching at her hair before you can even help it here ‘oh, Fi, fuck’ we’re so ridiculously turned on we’re bright red about it]

Fi: [‘it’s okay’ to echo the many times Mattie has said this, like don’t worry gal, I’ve got you, we’re gonna do this and it will be iconic, all of that emphasised by the fact she’s really concentrating now, no more talking or teaching after that, just responding to her and giving her what she wants]

Mattie: [just be here having the best orgasm of your life casually, no, nothing to see here, not wrapping our legs around this girl’s body, shuddering into wave after wave, only being spurred on by this being neither the time nor place yet here you are]

Fi: [they’re lucky we haven’t left Winnie in charge because he’d have someone walk in at exactly this moment, but I won’t do that to y’all, because can’t stop won’t stop and we all know this girl is not until Mattie is the one crying happy tears about this]

Mattie: [count your blessings huns because we could, we’re here meanwhile being progressively louder because the overstimulation is real ‘I didn’t know it could feel like this, that I could cum like this, all over your face’]

Fi: [for realism’s sake we probably should, but that feels so evil when these gals are so happy rn ‘you aren’t ever going to feel any different’ just promising that you can always make her feel like this, the confidence, where’s the lie though]

Mattie: [we can always have it be a random or you don’t see who ‘cos who isn’t going to walk out again immediately unless they’re weird lol; ‘I need this, need my girl fucking me everywhere’]

Fi: [mhmm, that was my thought exactly, it doesn’t have to be anyone in poor Mattie’s fam, there are nay friends and peeps Noah would have invited here who are frankly irrelevant and will just walk in and straight out cos they don’t know either of you, I’m just aware how long y’all would have been in here and how unlikely it is towards the end of the night no pissed ladies need the toilet lol ‘sweet pea, you don’t even know what you need yet’ cos it can be a term of endearment and so it is, from this moment on]

Mattie: [yeah agreed, y’all should’ve at least got in a stall but I understand it isn’t very romantic for you so you didn’t but that is where we are now, even if this toilet is one of and thus it’s not got constant traffic, still impossible no one is gonna come in]

Fi: [soz to whoever that woman is but not really, sapphic tension needed to be addressed, soz to mafi for the heart attack only, we’ll be kind and let you finish Mattie but Winnie says that’s all the kindness allowed]

Mattie: [Winnie is an evil lil man and loving every minute, never has a bitch moved so fast to grab her dress and lock herself in one of these stalls like oh my god oh my god]

Fi: [give her a sec while you likewise get your clothes back on and clean yourself up at least somewhat, out in the open, because what do you care at this point, it’s too late, and then do the cutest knock of all time for how quiet and hesitant it is ‘it’s me’ like not another random coming to ruin your life, don’t worry]

Mattie: [‘I just need- just give me a moment’ breathless for the wrong reasons right now]

Fi: [‘do you want me to leave?’ genuinely, even though her tone betrays that she doesn’t want to/think that’s a good idea]

Mattie: [‘we should leave separately, probably’ but giving you don’t have to run out right now and leave me the f alone]

Fi: [actually take a second to fix how insane you look and re-apply your face, she’ll hear you and know you’re still here but there’s no pressure for her to come out/say anything rn immediately]

Mattie: [work on rubbing off this lipstick without making your skin red and blotchy as hell, which would probably work better with a bit of water so you’ll have to come out to do that, awkward dot com, clear your throat after a while of just scrubbing it silence here ‘did you see who that was, what they looked like?’ ‘cos unless if was someone really obvious aka the worst people it could be, Fi isn’t gonna have a clue lol]

Fi: [silently zip her dress back up for her because if it’s at the back how they usually are she won’t be able to reach to fully do that herself ‘Jay’s friend?’ with the question mark because we don’t actually know we’re just basing it on approximate age + odds it has to be cos of whose party this is + the fact she probs also looked like a gym girlie with the brief glance we got, cos wanna help you here and give you some kind of answer that isn’t idk]

Mattie: [nod, as if any answer was going to be that comforting, you’re just mortified, end of, but at least it wasn’t a family member so even if this lady goes and runs her mouth, they didn’t fully see THAT ‘I need to go see the girls now’ like you’re telling yourself more than you are her, reminding yourself of your priorities ‘excuse me’ and rushing out like you don’t want to leave this party immediately because how shaming being like WHO WAS IT]

Fi: [I’m just imagining if she does run her mouth that the woman in question and Jay will both think it was Fi and Dolly because they are here together and also it’s feasible to me that she’s mixed her sisters up, so soz if she does say anything, cos Jay won’t she’ll just be off with Dolly, more than she is as standard, and the poor girl won’t even know why, but here and now, this girl has gotta let Mattie go, you could leave, but you won’t cos that isn’t who you are, awks that you literally only know her sisters and that’s who she’s making a beeline for but at least you can get a drink and bring Dolly one like soz I’m been AGES, peace offering vibes and go have some last dances so you aren’t stood there STARING at Mattie dramatically]

Mattie: [not you getting accused of being gay, also I thought this the other day that it’s hilarious that the sisters you think would be queer are the straight ones, fight those stereotypes hens; ANYWAY, focus all your attention on Lulu which she will love so Fi can take Dolly because this is all we can do when running out screaming is not an option lol]

Fi: [soz that we’re really confirming that it must be Dolly who we were gaying with cos insisting she dances with us until this party ends and the music is off because what else can you do, we know you put some secret alcohol in your drink to take the edge off but Dolly doesn’t need to, getting wasted isn’t the move, hence the dance sesh]

Mattie: [oh lord if either of your other sisters comes at you about this later, we cannot, meanwhile you start tidying up this party on the low because you just need to focus on being helpful now]

Fi: [the gay urge to go over and help her clean up, but don’t gal, resist, resist, focus on Dolly until she leaves, you can help her then if she’s still at it]

Mattie: [me like soz I might have to cockblock y’all now ‘cos she isn’t going to want to go out after this fiasco, mean of me but true, would lowkey be encouraging Dolly to go so hard in an obvious attempt to send y’all off there]

Fi: [I agree though, y’all should be cockblocked and because Dolly isn’t gonna go out, you’ll have to eventually go home and do some gay overthinking about every second of this function, after you’ve awkwardly helped her tidy up a lil bit]

Mattie: [soz girl, it’s just very legit, I will put you out of your agony after some time at home to likewise be cringing at everything we did and did not do and the mess of it all]

Mattie: I just wanted you to know that wasn’t your fault, I mean, I didn’t want you to think it was, if you were, it isn’t

Mattie: That was a very foolish thing of me to do and I take full responsibility for it

Fi: I wasn’t looking at it like there was fault to take, but okay, sure

Fi: thanks for clearing that up for me

Mattie: Well, it was wholly inappropriate, for so many reasons but there was no onus on you to behave in any sort of way, really

Mattie: it was my family function, after all

Fi: I’m not disputing wrong location, but if that’s the problem, I caused it as much as you

Mattie: No, you truly didn’t

Mattie: I don’t know what I was thinking, I should have never started that

Fi: I don’t need you to excuse my behaviour, I’m perfectly aware you weren’t thinking, because of me

Mattie: I ended up drinking too much for how little I’d eaten

Fi: you don’t have to do this, in fact, please, do not

Mattie: I don’t want to have made things between us awkward, or have upset you

Fi: what’s upsetting is, you’re genuinely trying to fob me off with something that we both know is false, something that makes me feel like I need to crawl into a hole

Mattie: no, no, that’s not what I’m trying to do, I’m trying to explain why I would have acted against all sense and got us into that mess

Fi: you’re trying to blame it on the alcohol, which I thought I’d left behind with schoolgirls and underage drinking

Mattie: you know that I would never normally act like this, I can’t

Mattie: because I’m not a schoolgirl, for God’s sake, I’m a teacher, my whole family was there

Fi: I know what it makes me if you were drunk and I wasn’t, the same thing it makes me every time any girl freaks out

Mattie: I didn’t say I was drunk, just that we’d had drinks, it was a weird party, weird night

Fi: it’s what you’re trying to say

Fi: a backpedal is a backpedal, and you’re allowed to do so, but it’s just, I’d rather you chose one that paints me in a less predatory light

Mattie: How could you possibly be the predator, by anyone’s imagining

Mattie: I started it and I’m the one who met you at school, as an authority figure, there’s no world in which I’m not the predator

Fi: because I’m the one who’s out, Mattie

Fi: and that’s enough for everyone to believe I’m the one who doesn’t know how to act appropriately

Mattie: and I’ve told you it was my fault and if anything comes out about it, I’ll say the same to whoever I have to

Mattie: if it does, I don’t even know who it was, it felt like all their friends were looking at me after that so

Fi: It doesn’t make me feel any better, how willing you are to fall on this sacrificial sword, real or imagined, is it supposed to?

Mattie: I think it’s the reality of the situation, from all angles I’ve considered it

Mattie: my family has no real reason or vested interest to judge you

Fi: no, the reality is, we didn’t do anything morally wrong

Fi: socially frowned upon, a little bit, I’ll admit, but you wouldn’t judge the other guests as harshly if you walked in on a similar scene

Mattie: Would we not

Fi: getting carried away at parties is the norm, had you barely finished uni like everyone else your age you’d be acting messier than you did tonight, give yourself a break

Mattie: but this wasn’t a University party, it was my sister’s engagement 

Mattie: a child could have walked in, Jesus

Fi: which would have been horrific, but they didn’t

Mattie: The point is that they could have and I wasn’t thinking about anyone but myself

Fi: a lapse in judgement isn’t a hanging offence, I’m not gonna allow you to punish yourself to an unwarranted level 

Fi: guests were actually drunk, your fictional child could have witnessed untold horrors as a result of the mass overindulgence

Mattie: I appreciate the sentiment but no other guest was having sex in public, I can guarantee you

Mattie: I’m not going to accept that that was at all appropriate, but I’ve said I’m not saying you’re inappropriate or it was your fault, just the act of

Fi: can you? 

Fi: there were other bathrooms they could have been using, you know

Mattie: please be serious, Fi

Fi: Shall we address your real stumbling block here, that way I can skip to the part where I tell you again you weren’t my teacher, until I’m blue in the face if necessary

Mattie: Would you have met me if I wasn’t a teacher?

Fi: potentially, you’re Dolly’s sister too

Mattie: and I was your form teacher

Fi: it doesn’t mean having to kid yourself you had any authority over me at the time, or that you honestly could, ever

Fi: we’re essentially the same age, I respect you as a person, not your form tutor title which lasted all of a year

Mattie: The point is I signed a contract to look after the well-being of and safeguard all the kids at that school, and you were one of them, like it or not, that’s the truth

Fi: like it or not, no I wasn’t, because I had privileges at that school I’m the first to hold my hands up to, we both understand why I was set apart, I didn’t sign an official contract to run the place, but I did, anyway

Fi: though, entertaining your version for a moment, if I were, you still didn’t do anything to harm me or null and void a single thing you signed up for

Mattie: Waiting for the moment something becomes legal or otherwise uncontentious, is no better

Fi: so I’m supposed to give up on you, am I?

Mattie: I know what happened to Dolly, what that did to both the twins’ lives

Fi: Dolly was a deeply unhappy and isolated underage girl who got exploited by a sick opportunist, a comparison doesn’t exist

Mattie: That isn’t how anyone would see it

Fi: I can try and change their minds too, one at a time or all at once, with the facts, but that’s all I can do

Mattie: Let’s just slow down 

Mattie: as far as we know right now, no one knows anything

Fi: Jay’s friend didn’t go running screaming back into the ballroom and announce it, no

Mattie: we just have to hope word doesn’t get back to Jay

Fi: I’ll hope she was too drunk to remember what she barely saw

Mattie: anything is too much

Fi: I’m sorry I didn’t stop it, the last thing I want is to hurt you, in any way

Mattie: it isn’t your responsibility to take accountability for me and my actions

Mattie: it’s fine, I’m just mortally embarrassed but hopefully no more comes of it, as we’ve said

Fi: I acted as well, it wasn’t only you

Mattie: I’m just sorry, okay, that’s all I needed to say

Fi: and we’ve both apologised now

Mattie: yes

Fi: you understand what my sorry covers and what it doesn’t, right?

Mattie: I think so

Mattie: but you can explain, if you’d like

Fi: as long as I’ve been clear

Mattie: have I?

Fi: yes 💎

Mattie: so we’re still friends

Fi: of course we are

Mattie: Thank goodness

Fi: It’ll be okay, almost no one at the party had the slightest idea who I was or how we met

Mattie: except Dolly and Lulu

Fi: thank god neither of them saw us is the overwhelming take away

Mattie: I’d have to run away, again

Mattie: perhaps to the Malaysian site of the college, would be about far enough

Fi: I obviously can’t give my blessing to such schoolgirl antics, kindly don’t

Mattie: I can’t make any promises until I stop feeling so queasy 

Fi: I’d promise to hold your hair back, sadly you may as well be in Malaysia for what it would be worth, because I can’t fulfil it with the distance regardless

Mattie: Did you arrive back in Surrey safely?

Fi: My arrival there isn’t required again until the new year 🥳

Fi: I get to stay in [somewhere close to her uni, because her parents would sort her a flat or something, they are those bitches]

Mattie: Oh, I see, sorry

Mattie: just assumed

Fi: a fair assumption, anyone else’s parents would see the pitfalls of allowing a 19 year old girl to live alone, especially after boarding for years and years

Mattie: could you get a flatmate, once you’ve made a friend you think you could stand to live with?

Fi: perhaps, unless I’m loving the solitude too much by then

Mattie: possibly

Fi: it’s been nice thus far 

Mattie: you’d recommend it then?

Mattie: I've only ever lived at home then in dorms or flat/house shares before this so

Fi: you know me, I can always look on the bright side 🌞

Mattie: it is what people strive for, independence 

Fi: and I’ve definitely fought for it, Allegra has the battle scars

Mattie: quite

Fi: Anyway, if I remember rightly, when you’re feeling sick [something Mattie did/told her to do during a school trip moment that we’ve clearly committed to memory] helps most

Fi: you should be doing that, not this 

Mattie: A simple goodbye would suffice 😌

Fi: it wouldn’t

Mattie: travel sickness and this are very different things, too

Fi: I don’t have the foggiest how to make you feel better about this though, I wish I did

Mattie: I’m sure it’ll all seem better in the morning 🌞

Fi: my cue to say good night? 🌝

Mattie: if you’re tired

Fi: wouldn’t be very Tigger coded of me

Mattie: you did seem insulted by the comparison

Fi: did I?

Mattie: unless bringing up your defiance to an ADHD diagnosis was a positive 

Fi: firstly, it’s a simple fact I apparently don’t meet the criteria, and secondly, Piglet is Winnie’s best friend, I’m defiant about not having that spot

Mattie: I never said I was Winnie, just that I loved him

Mattie: I’m probably more Piglet coded

Fi: oh please, you’re Winnie

Mattie: 🤔🤔

Fi: book Pooh, Disney can hang for all I care 

Mattie: well, I am very fond of honey but I’m not sure if I would go to the lengths

Fi: you’d go to the lengths he does for your friends and family, you do, I’ve witnessed it ☂️

Mattie: I’m sorry I made you feel like you wanted to crawl into a hole, that isn’t a good friend

Fi: I haven’t been a good one either, gatecrashing your sister’s engagement

Mattie: you were invited

Fi: but I showed up selfishly to see you

Fi: I shouldn’t have come

Mattie: I’m glad you came

Mattie: regardless of how it had to end

Fi: are you?

Mattie: of course I am 

Fi: you wouldn’t be feeling mortified if I hadn’t, there’d be no consequences to worry about the knock on effects of

Mattie: I suppose that’s true

Mattie: but I wouldn’t know if we were still friends or not, had you not shown

Mattie: and it was a nice thing to do for Dolly, even if you had other motives as well

Fi: Dolly won’t want to still be friends if this blows up

Mattie: We have to hope, then she’ll never find out

Mattie: learn our lesson from a near miss instead of a catastrophe 

Fi: why is learning lessons consistently a giant negative?

Mattie: I’m not sure that’s the angle you want to go with, when you go for your PGCE

Fi: well, let’s hope, in three years time, I’ll have done all the painful growing required to be less of an idiot, or it’s probably not a suitable career path

Mattie: I cannot participate in that thought spiral, with this long left before I have to be back in the classroom

Fi: it’s not a reflection on you, we’re not the same person

Mattie: We both behaved in the same idiotic way, and as you said, you have years left before anyone is expecting you to behave accordingly

Fi: you don’t typically, I’d be lying if I said that’s true of myself

Mattie: I don’t think the school would be any more forgiving than Dolly would

Fi: the school aren’t going to find out

Mattie: I can’t lose my job

Fi: No, I’d tell a million lies before I allowed you to take that big of a fall, you’re too good at your job

Fi: you love it

Mattie: You aren’t going to have to do that, it would be unconscionable for me to ask that if it was a possibility though

Fi: you don’t have to ask, if that’s what it comes down to, I’ll do it

Fi: my only consequence is going back to therapy like I did post divorce and pre-remarriage, and as you said, it does work wonders

Mattie: It’s wrong, I wouldn’t allow it

Fi: then it’ll be my word against yours, and I think it’s a fairly easy guess which of us everyone is more inclined to believe

Fi: our reputations precede us, remember

Mattie: I don’t think anyone would imagine I’d lie about having an affair with you

Mattie: lest they think I need something stronger than therapy, which rather hurts the keeping my job case

Fi: we aren’t having an affair, Mattie

Fi: you were drunk, I took things too far, as I am prone to do, that’s the story

Mattie: Is it the truth though

Fi: if needs be, for the sake of your job and your relationship with your sister

Mattie: I don’t like lies

Fi: you can’t lose your job and Dolly can’t lose you, both of those things are more important

Mattie: As far as we’re aware no one beyond a basic stranger knows so we can only act as such

Fi: I told you, I’m prepared for the worst outcome, I know what to do, don’t contradict my efforts and it’ll be fine

Mattie: No, Fi

Fi: my life isn’t over taking complete blame for this, I can go live in [wherever her dad lives], start again

Fi: yours would be, I should’ve cared more about that in the moment, but I didn’t, so I will now, I have to

Mattie: This is just ridiculous, you haven’t done anything wrong, and you’re in Uni, you can’t just leave

Fi: it’s a last resort, this could end here, as an embarrassing faux pas, hopefully

Fi: but I want you to be aware I have a plan, in case it doesn’t

Mattie: It will, regardless of how rightfully crushed Dolly would be, she isn’t a spiteful person, she wouldn’t do anything

Fi: God, she really deserves better friends than me

Mattie: and better sisters

Fi: I’m going to have to ghost her, aren’t I?

Mattie: No, no, don’t do that

Fi: I used her, like everyone else

Mattie: I mean, she invited you for her own purpose

Mattie: and a purpose you fulfilled, you didn’t ignore her as soon as you got there or anything, friendships are reciprocal like that

Fi: she didn’t have an agenda to her invitation

Mattie: you’re being too hard on yourself, you wanted to see me as well as her, that’s allowed

Fi: and look how that turned out, someone needs to be hard on me about it

Mattie: She needs friends, no qualifier

Mattie: I think that’s more important 

Fi: packing my bags and moving feels easier, but okay, sure

Mattie: you said you wanted hard

Mattie: You can’t see her often now anyway but if she needs you, show up, okay

Mattie: you know how to be a good friend, whatever you think

Fi: I do care about her, however much it doesn’t seem like I could be all that bothered, after what happened

Mattie: I know you do

Fi: I’ll be there

Mattie: Thank you

Fi: and for you, if you need anything

Mattie: I don’t want things to end like this, to feel so

Mattie: I shouldn’t have vented to you like that, all my fears, when I’m sure it’ll be fine, I didn’t intend to make you feel bad

Fi: who else could you vent to? I’ve put you in a position where you can’t talk to anyone about this

Mattie: it just feels like an overreaction, for all the things you’re suggesting now, I didn’t mean to take it to this level

Fi: I took it to this level, because I don’t want you to think I’m underreacting 

Fi: I know this is serious, I can take it seriously

Mattie: I don’t think that, I know you care

Fi: I didn’t mean to scare you either

Mattie: It’s perhaps not better to spiral together than alone but that was my intention when I first reached out

Fi: I’m sorry

Mattie: Don’t be, please

Mattie: no more than I am

Fi: maybe I should’ve gone out, made myself unreachable for a while

Mattie: I would have been worried

Fi: you don’t have to worry about me, I can look after myself

Mattie: when has that ever stopped me

Fi: I have plenty of space left to get another drunk tattoo

Fi: [because I vibe that on her 18th bday she did that, and it’s a lil star with a gold outline, sadly I can’t find a pic of one, cos the glee gal has one but it’s ugly af and filled in gold so no]

Mattie: [it must be a hard colour to do because you think it’d be easier to find than it is but still loves it, could always black and white one, as long as it's not a heavy black line]

Mattie: I can imagine your mother’s reaction 

Fi: unless I committed to my forehead, she’s unlikely to notice

Mattie: did she notice the star?

Fi: eventually, but that was pre having her precious baby boy join the school, these days I could chop off an arm and have it reattached as a leg and she wouldn’t express the slightest concern

Mattie: Maybe she’s giving you that freedom you fought for?

Fi: or maybe this era of my life is irrelevant to her because it doesn’t reflect back

Mattie: Have you talked to her?

Fi: 😅 why would I?

Mattie: well, you seem upset

Fi: of course not, if I’m irrelevant to her, she can be irrelevant to me

Mattie: okay, as long as you’re okay with how things are

Fi: I’ve learned to pick my battles

Mattie: I know

Fi: it’s my little brother you should feel sorry for, thrust into her full spotlight as well as having to walk in my shadow, poor thing

Mattie: I can speak to his form teacher, if you’d like

Mattie: Obviously I’ve kept an eye out

Fi: me too, he’s doing okay, considering

Mattie: he has plenty of people there for him

Fi: I’m going to invite Doll to spend her birthday in [wherever her dad lives again] as an alternative, since she doesn’t and lent term doesn’t start until the 9th

Fi: I don’t have to be back at uni until the 16th so

Mattie: Oh, right

Mattie: well I’m sure she’ll love that

Fi: I’m sure she’ll refuse me, she loves to

Mattie: it’s a nice offer nevertheless

Mattie: you’re leaving then?

Fi: not like that, but I have making up to do for her, and she’s told me enough about the tragic state of her birthday for it to be a clear starting point, if she wants it to be

Mattie: Yes, I suppose so

Fi: should you need me, I’m [however many hours, can’t be many because it’s probably europe somewhere] away 📌🌎🛫

Mattie: as you said, I don’t think Dolly will want to come

Fi: I’ll do my best to convince her but she’s as stubborn as I am

Mattie: Perhaps she will want to spend her birthday with her family, however ‘tragic’ it may seem

Fi: it’s understandable, I won’t hold it against her

Mattie: right

Fi: don’t be cross at me, I’m not calling you tragic

Mattie: I just think it’s rude, things are complicated, beyond face value, you don’t do yourself any favours being that flippant

Fi: I’m not going to write a giant footnote re using the word tragic to explain I understand it’s more nuanced, am I? You know what I mean

Mattie: Nevermind

Fi: Mattie 

Mattie: What?

Fi: you’re allowed to say what you want to say instead of brushing it off

Mattie: I did, I said it was rude

Fi: okay, if that’s it

Mattie: It is, you can’t expect to fix everything for her when you don’t know the half of it

Fi: I don’t have an expectation of actually fixing anything, like you just heard me say, it’s an alternative, so she doesn’t feel like she has none

Fi: you should be able to spend your birthday how you want to, if only that one day

Mattie: Her birthday is New Year’s Eve, it’s not radical that her parents combine parties

Fi: she’s dreading it, that’s my only consideration here

Mattie: because her and Lulu need to fix their relationship

Fi: which is out of my hands

Mattie: Yes, because I’m sorry this isn’t your business

Mattie: this is what I mean, you try to fix things when you can’t and shouldn’t be putting yourself in the middle

Fi: wow, fuck me then, I guess

Mattie: Can you just not appreciate that it’s insulting

Mattie: to act as if the people in their lives are sitting there twiddling their thumbs when it isn’t the case

Fi: it’s insulting that’s what you think a nice gesture means

Mattie: I find it insulting that you want to take my sister away from me and her family on her birthday

Mattie: I’m sorry but you asked me to speak candidly

Fi: it’s about what she wants, it’s more than insulting you think I’d engineer this for my own, what, saviour complex or something?

Mattie: You feel guilty, you want to whisk her away, you said it yourself

Mattie: it isn’t a nice gesture if you’re absolving yourself

Fi: forget I fucking suggested it, god

Mattie: I think that’s best

Fi: and it’s best you concentrate on your sister, since she’s none of my business 

Mattie: Don’t tell me mine, I’m aware

Fi: do you even know me at all?

Mattie: I could ask you the same question

Mattie: all I do is for them, for my job, that’s it

Fi: it’s not your failure, you’re not her mother, or the sister she can’t bear to be in the same room with

Mattie: but it is because it’s my job to fix this

Fi: and it’s mine as her friend, to help her make new non-traumatic memories and have experiences other girls her age have already had and taken for granted, it’s her 18th

Mattie: not everyone has the same experiences, that’s so narrow-minded

Fi: oh please, I’m not trying to force her into a tunnel, she’s screaming out for space, her own life

Mattie: She misses her sister

Fi: yeah, but she wants her own identity too

Mattie: She has one, and is more than capable of carving it out further

Fi: without my interference, you may as well finish your sentence to the . 

Mattie: her own identity explains itself, she can make the decisions and work out how that looks for her

Fi: because I’ve ever tried to make her into me or tell her what to do

Mattie: you think you know best

Fi: I can’t believe you see me like that and this is the first I’m hearing

Mattie: You literally said I didn’t know what I needed right before that girl walked in

Mattie: you monopolize how we react to this, in theory or otherwise and tell me what I can and can’t do and how and why you’ll be believed

Mattie: I had no reason to point it out before but this crosses a line

Fi: I don’t know where to start with any of that, how upside down it is

Mattie: then perhaps we do need to leave it here, I’ll go and focus on my sister

Fi: you do that, Mattie, how could I possibly resist telling you what to do for a final time?

Mattie: Quite

Mattie: you know, you could just take onboard one bit of criticism, accept that you’ve hurt me

Fi: one? you’ve just ripped apart my entire, supposed, personality

Mattie: after you made a mockery of all my attempts to help the twins

Fi: oh my god, it wasn’t about you, I’ve never done anything except praise your attempts, with them both

Mattie: you were rude about Lulu earlier

Mattie: as if her life hasn’t been upended by something she didn’t have anything to do with, never mind any knowledge

Fi: I took on board that criticism, but I draw the line at being utterly misunderstood

Mattie: We’re both upset, and scared of more to come, we can draw a line under this 

Fi: you have full artistic licence to draw any shape you wish

Fi: you were right the first time, I can’t be friends with you after this

Mattie: I appreciate your honesty, if nothing else

Fi: I’m glad the unappreciation isn’t total

Mattie: Ha, wow

Fi: my sentiments exactly

Mattie: I can’t handle this

Fi: again, I couldn’t agree with you more, you describe my mother to a tee and put all the attributes onto me, and I’m supposed to be a good sport about it

Fi: I don’t fucking think so

Mattie: I barely know your mother, still

Mattie: you can’t say I did it on purpose, when that’s impossible

Fi: you barely know me, apparently

Mattie: it seems like it now, thinking otherwise was my faux pas 

Fi: it’s irrelevant now

Mattie: you’ve said

Fi: no, you’ve said you think I’m borderline tyrannical, so if you’ll excuse me I have packing to do, where better to flee to than a country formerly under a dictatorship to process my wrongdoings

Mattie: It isn’t your fault, it was wrong of me to square it at you as if it is solely down to you

Fi: regardless, in your eyes I’m gigantically at fault, hence the character assassination, and I can’t square who I thought you knew I was with the person you’re saying you think I am

Mattie: oh this is such a mess

Mattie: you said it yourself, okay, that you were afforded privileges at that place, you were, you didn’t ask for them but of course it’s had an impact

Fi: I said it to erase a power imbalance that doesn’t exist, not to hurt you

Mattie: I mean that your faults, however they’re sized, aren’t just your own, no one’s are and I went too far in this conversation

Fi: drop it, I’m aware of my actual faults, and they don’t include saying that I had only just begun to give you what you want, ironically as we were interrupted, or caring enough about your future to want to keep it on track

Mattie: then here we are, your conviction that you’ve done nothing wrong

Fi: you’re upset because of me, I’ve done plenty wrong

Mattie: I am, I don’t know how to make that clearer

Fi: it’s clear

Mattie: I didn’t ‘freak out’ because you’re a girl, I freaked out because it’s wrong and I shouldn’t have done anything I did

Fi: I know why, there’s never been a ? around it

Mattie: I can’t undo it but I don’t know what I can do now to make it right

Fi: you don’t have to do anything unless your hand is forced by whoever saw us doing something herself

Mattie: what about you, I’ve just made it worse 

Fi: what about me? I’ll be fine, I keep telling you

Mattie: You’ve said I’ve given you an identity crisis and you’re fleeing the country so

Fi: name a first year uni student who isn’t having one, and going to visit my own father is hardly a cause for concern

Mattie: no, I suppose not

Fi: it must be that for me, putting away childish things means casting aside the notion that you understood me better than anyone

Mattie: I let you down

Mattie: because I wasn’t real before, not to you

Fi: I’m the one who barely knows you, that’s what hurts more than you thinking I’m a know-it-all bigheaded bitch

Fi: that’s where the true imbalance is, I told you everything about me and you couldn’t

Mattie: which is why this is inappropriate, you confided in me, in a role as a teacher, whether we like that or not, which I don’t, by the way

Fi: as my friend

Mattie: you said it, I couldn’t

Fi: but you did, sometimes

Fi: I haven’t just fantasised solidly for an entire school year

Mattie: no, I did, of course I did

Mattie: but I wasn’t meant to

Fi: it isn’t fair, we had no control over the circumstances of how we met

Mattie: I know, I had no intentions, that isn’t why I cared for you, but that’s how it will seem in hindsight

Fi: which is exactly why I should leave, give you a fresh start too

Mattie: I don’t want you to leave

Fi: it’ll be impossible if I stay, because I do have conviction I’ve done nothing wrong, just not in this conversation, it exists before in what I did, what I’d do again

Mattie: Just in private 

Fi: I don’t want to give you an identity crisis, Mattie

Fi: you’ve said so many times you think this is wrong

Mattie: only when it’s examined by people who don’t know the full story, which it doesn’t need to be

Fi: tell me what you want to happen, I’ll 😶

Mattie: You should go see your father, obviously, it’s the holidays

Mattie: but don’t stay away

Fi: I’m relieved, I really like my course

Fi: perhaps more than you 

Mattie: you’re an idiot then, in the nicest possible way

Mattie: You need to be here, you’re on the right path for you

Fi: I’m joking, I don’t like anything more than you

Mattie: Still?

Fi: unless I get to know you more and change my mind, but it’s unlikely, with the basics I’ve already got down

Mattie: that’s allowed, I could have some terrible habits you know nothing about

Fi: you know you’ve always been real to me, don’t you?

Fi: I may be young and stupid but I’m not that young and stupid

Mattie: it was me I was accusing of having to have a veneer of fakeness

Mattie: but I wasn’t exactly good at keeping that boundary in place

Fi: there’s a lot I’m not good at

Fi: I wish we could start this conversation over

Mattie: then lets

Mattie: it doesn’t paint either of us in a favourable light

Mattie: and I want you to know me, I always have, you know that, don’t you?

Fi: You haven’t been back on the bottle, have you? 

Fi: because if I have catching up to do I better had there first

Mattie: Um, no!

Mattie: I’m at my parents’ house, that would be close to a crime

Fi: you kill me

Mattie: I didn’t get a chance to

Fi: you know where I live, without any of my parents

Mattie: you did make a point to tell me

Mattie: though now that conversation is REDACTED… perhaps you ought to tell me again

Fi: [do obvs]

Fi: and I don’t have to go to my dad’s, that was a decision made in another, now non-existent, conversation too

Mattie: I will miss you when you do go, after we’ve finished what we started

Fi: I refuse to call you out for telling me what to do, sorry, I can’t

Mattie: You know it’s going to be what you need too

Fi: I miss you already

Mattie: I have so much to make up for, not just the time lost

Fi: and I have to show you what I meant, so there’s no more confusion about what I said

Mattie: 🥺 okay

Fi: I’ve barely begun to do anything to you

Mattie: I’ve never been more cross with a perfect stranger than I am that girl

Fi: medieval torture wouldn’t suffice

Mattie: I’ll be jealous

Fi: impossible

Mattie: I want to be the one benefitting from your knowledge

Fi: 🩰 is torture, the level you took it to, of course you’d like it

Mattie: I like how passionate you are, thinking about when you were a weird kid too

Fi: [tell her some more weird kid stories that I haven’t learnt enough history to make up because we just did the tudors and world war II constantly]

Mattie: You’re so adorable

Fi: there could be something diagnosably off with me, I don’t know

Mattie: no, you’re perfect

Fi: it feels bizarre to be blushing in an empty house

Mattie: I shouldn’t have let you go back to an empty house

Fi: I should’ve bought you with me, then it wouldn’t be

Mattie: It’s okay, we’ve both been suitably punished for our indiscretion now

Fi: in a bad way, not yet in a good one

Mattie: I can’t possibly think about what that might entail 

Fi: I understand why, as fun as anticipation is, making you wait for a single thing you want would be a foreign concept to almost anyone

Mattie: I’m aware this contradicts every single (sensible) thing I said

Mattie: but the way you didn’t wait or hesitate at all was 

Fi: I couldn’t

Mattie: I wouldn’t, given the chance again, aware how stupid that is

Fi: perfect time, imperfect place, I’ve said that consistently

Mattie: You looked so hot

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#35)

5x12 baby, helpppp how are we already at the penultimate episode (already, i say, after dragging this first-ever watch out basically as long as humanly possible L O L why am i like this)

my reactions / recap / flailing under the cut

I see that Tyra is literally the preview photo so I’m already like OH SHITTTT

Tami coming home from the airport with potentially life-altering news...and Eric is asleep in front of the TV on the couch, clearly trying to wait up for her, my heart.

AHHH Julie’s home??? A surprise? This is so fucking cute! The ending vibes are definitely here.

Omg Tim are you good, baby? Is he throwing his bed out of the trailer? Damn he clearly has so much trauma from prison.

Damn NBC 8 is pulling up, that’s how you know it’s State. “It’s State, Levi, get used to it.” “No, I’ll NEVER get used to it!” Lmao i love Levi.

WOW look at Luke trying to set up childcare so moms can participate in a hearing about school funding! GO OFF KING

Omg i almost forgot Mindy was pregnant again. Billy’s so excited...oh fuck, TWINS? They’re gonna be so broke forever. Mindy is as horrified as I would be lmao

Oh shit, here we go...Tami’s finally telling Eric about the job offer...and admitting she wants it!!! AHH

“We’d have to move to Philadelphia.” “We live in Texas. Honey, Texas...is where our friends and family are. Texas is where I work, Texas is where I have my job.” Weren’t y’all just thinking about moving to Florida like two episodes ago? I smell a double standard, sir!

Ugh Eric is shutting down. “I can’t talk about this right now.” BISH

“How many times have we moved before for your job?” MMHMM that’s right, Eric! You look shell-shocked but you need to take that in, sit with it!

Tim Riggins behind the bar is hot. Just an observation.

Ugh, the tension between poor Tim and Billy. Tim’s gonna go to Alaska?! WOW did not see that plan coming!

“What the hell are you gonna do, sleep with a bunch of woodchucks?” BILLY WHAT LMAO

“You’re gonna leave Texas?” “YES.” I love the drama in both these back to back conversations about the thought of Leaving Texas.

Broken dryer, Jess, I’ve been there. Like right now, we have a broken dryer in our apartment. Ooh, Vince coming and finding her and being gentle!

Aw poor Jess. “I finally found a coach who was open-minded enough to let me in and not laugh at me. He lets me shadow him and teach me how to be a coach, and now they’re gonna take it all away.” These poor kids.

VINCE: “We won’t let that happen.” MY HEART. I love them.

Wow, Luke’s being sold a low-tier football program, isn’t he? “We just got a Costco, and a brand new movie theater in the town.” yikes.

How is a reporter asking Eric “are you worried he’s taking on too much?” about a teenage boy. Like, how do they know this much about Vince’s life? Texas football culture will forever amaze me, even after watching almost the entire series.

“We haven’t even scratched the surface of what Vince Howard can do.” AWWW my heart! Eric is such a good coach.

Oh wow, the East Dillon Lions vs. Dillon Panthers funding debate!!! Did they send a Booster Club representative here to Buddy’s door to shake him down? “There’s gonna be a lot of changes.” Like what IS THIS?

“Vince Howard is gonna be a Panther.” This is... A Lot. “That chair at the head of the table is waiting on you.”

Oh nooooo Tim getting physical with a customer.

“I’ve been waiting five minutes for my drink.” FAMILIAR VOICE IN THE CORNER??? “Hey there, jailbird.” It’s Tyra, and she has long brown hair! I dig it! I dig this reunion!

Aw, Eric coming home and immediately apologizing to Tami for earlier.

Tami’s being realistic that if the Lions lose, their economic situation is in jeopardy—so a good job offer on the table is something to consider!

“So you’re routing against us?” OMG and there’s a moment when Tami thinks he’s referring to them but then realizes he’s referring to “oh, the team?” jfc “You and I, or us the Lions. Of course.”

“You know what, I’ve been a coach’s wife for 18 years. Every decision we’ve made has been based on your coaching career.” LIFE BEYOND FOOTBALL OH SHIT

Oh God Eric’s getting up with the keys???? Come on, dude! This is not cool! There are so many colleges and high schools in Pennsylvania! I promise they play football there!

Omg did Tyra just tell Tim about the twins since he refused to really talk to Billy?

Aw Tyra wrote to him in prison? That’s sweet.

Awww Mindy’s literally having a breakdown about not having enough space, and not being able to handle three kids. These poor babes. And the football team’s fate hinges on this because of the assistant coach’s salary...fucking crazy

Ooh now Buddy’s trying to hype Eric up on the Panther-Lions Superteam they’re gonna create.

Aw the whole fam at Billy and Mindy’s—Tyra, Becky, even Mama Collette.

“He’s got some stupid idea he’s gonna go to Alaska and work on a pipeline.” Well, when someone comes to prison and tells you they’ll actually let someone who has to check the felony box work a job with decent wages, yeah. God, the prison industrial complex sucks. Feeds the most vulnerable people into the shittiest jobs.

Julie outside of the Saracen home? Awww. Has she seen him since that romantic Chicago good-bye?

Luke, listen to Becky!! “I’d really appreciate if you put down the wrench and listen to me.” YES GURL

“That’s not real. You are! And I just think there’s been a lot of misunderstandings.” “Well, that’s really pretty you should put it in a love poem.” “Are you kidding me? Go to hell!” yeah, correct answer, Becky! These teens are under so much STRESS! The DRAMA!

Omg all these grown men screaming at the town hall meeting about football i cannot

Ewww these classist fucks. “Some of us on this side of town happen to own our houses.” Eat the rich.

Why the fuck is Billy writing a fucking speech while driving? And he’s surprised he swerved? Sir…

Aw poor Eric with pain in his eyes telling Billy he can’t be definitive about his job security...I mean, yeah.

Aw, Luke coming into the bar while Tim is working after...that talk with Becky…

“You and Becky...are you in love with her?” Tim looks so amused. “Are you serious?” “...Yeah. “No, I’m not in love with Becky. I care about her.” THANK YOU BOYS AND GIRLS CAN BE FRIENDS. Is this not what Becky tried to tell you last night? “I’ve been there a few times when nobody else was, but that’s about it.”

Aw Luke is so similar to Tim rn! Not “feeling it” from the school that wants him, even tho he loves football!

“You’re going to state, yeah? Nothing’s gonna beat that.” “Play it that way. Play it like it’s the last time you’re ever gonna lace up.” Some iconic Tim Riggins lines here!

“We were at the meeting last night, but we don’t want to argue or yell, we just want to give you our thoughts.” MY HEART i love Vince and Jess. “Well, that’ll be refreshing.” LOL after all these grown ass men were screaming over each other

“Was it really that bad?” “If you’re asking if I was raped in prison, Tyra, the answer’s no.” LOSING IT at this exchange lmao

“Tim Riggins, what the hell is going on with you?” that’s the question!

Oh shit is Tyra just finding out that Tim took the fall for Billy now...fuck

“He had a wife, a family. I had the chance to give him something, to give Stevie something we never had. To give him his father.” Damn, the look on Tyra’s face. She knows all too well why he did what he did even tho it fucked him up :( THE EMOTION. THE PAIN!

Damn they’re announcing the decision on the Dillon teams *before* state?

“What are you hoping for?” loaded question, Julie! “I hope that the Lions get to stay put, and I hope that I get to be Dean of Admissions at Braemore College.” awww yeah you do deserve it all, Tami.

Oh wow all these people from both teams standing in the street, drinking and talking and waiting for the decision with “i was living in a devil’s town” playing??? THIS SHOW.

I feel for the dude who has to address this town about this decision.

Anddd there it is, they eliminated the East Dillon program. The rich kids cheering for their victory in front of the poor kids mourning the end of the program they fought to make better is so fucking tacky.

And omg now they have to play state?

“Let me tell you something, you’re gonna be the star quarterback of the Dillon panthers next year, and you’re gonna shine.” OH this hug between Eric and Vince! “See you at practice tomorrow.” Again, the reminder that these people gotta play a *state championship*! wild

“We need to talk.” BUDDY WHAT?

Aw Julie and Tyra hanging out and there are Panthers screaming out of cars. “Welcome back to Dillon.” “No place like it.” Oh, this warms my heart.

I love this exchange: “You know, it’s kind of like this drug. When you get outside of it, you see it for what it really is. But when you’re in it, it seems like there’s no other possible reality.” “It’s a hard place to shake.” “Yeah...I didn’t see that one coming.”

“Whatever happened with you and Matty?” SAME, TYRA, SAME. “We’re good. I mean, we still talk every now and then. He went to Chicago. I went to visit him awhile back, and...I don’t really know what we are or aren’t or…” INTRIGUE. “I kind of just really miss him.” “Life’s harder when you really love someone.” Awwww. I loved that scene so much.

Wow, Buddy and Eric are talking at the Panthers field?

Oh, Buddy’s trying to sell him on winning the championship and then going to the Panthers to coach along with Vince….

“I can never come back to this school and coach. Never.” I mean, FAIR.

“Three rings in six years. That’s history. No one’s ever done that. You’ve got everything you want.” Yeah, Buddy, but does Tami get what she wants in that scenario?

Lol i love all the East Dillon Lions drunk on the field, like seasons’ past with teams past…

“Alright I’m taking a piece of grass home.” LOL TINK

To State and to Coach Taylor, huh? Sounds familiar. And Buddy Jr. is puking. Lmao.

“Just make sure you’re really okay with losing him.” YES Tyra! As much as Billy has majorly fucked up, i agree with her that the idea of the Riggins brothers losing each other when they ONLY had each other for so long...it makes my heart sad.

Oh shit are Tim and Tyra about to kiss? I almost forgot they were together back when this whole show started! “Please don’t go.” DAMNNN

Wow what a scene. Eric comes home with his news that he could have “everything” and Tami replies, “I’ll say to you what you haven’t had the grace to say to me: congratulations, Eric.

“I want you to take me someplace.” “Where?” “I’ll tell you when we’re on the way.” This is really cute! Also Tyra is so hot damn gurl i see you!

Aw Vince shooting his shot, yes! “What about you and me?” “I was really proud of how hard you tried. Thank you.”

“You already have two strikes against you.” “Jess, I was born with two strikes against me.” LOL SO TRUE. and aw what a hug!

Tyra took him to his land, didn’t she??? “Alaska, Tim?” He’s SMILING. Is that Texas Forever vibes i’m seeing here?

AH, Matt is home with a Christmas tree to see his grandma!!! She’s so excited!!

Aw she forgot his dad’s dead? “Did you say it was Christmas?” Oh this is so sad.

Why are Buddy and the Panthers coach standing at the Taylors’ front door like fucking cops late at night? This football program is sinister at times.

“Eighteen years.” Yeah, Tami. And then she turns it back on: “Can I get you two anything? Iced tea, water?” and FADE TO BLACK.

Damn!! What an amazing set-up for a series finale I’ve heard only good things about!!! AHHHH

[fencesandfrogs]

17qs, 17 people

thank u @babymedicc for tagging me!

nickname: ik my url says mattie but most people call me matthew or mateo. spanish speaking family.

zodiac: aquarius sun, aries moon, pisces rising

height: ur the internet not my real life so i can tell you it’s actually 5′6.5″ but i usually round up to 5′7″

hogwarts house: hufflepuff.

last thing i googled: “pieceis” because i can’t spell pisces lmao. (& then before that “pieces” god my spelling is really trash) but before that “senna league” because senna from league of legends has some damn fine art

song stuck in my head: rn it’s weirdly quiet & i’m not going to jinx it by thinking of a song in particular but i have been listening to a lot of taylor swift

number of followers: 57. i started posting again barely a month ago and i’m up almost 40 followers so i’m kinda surprised but happy! ty guys for apparently liking my inane ramblings enough to follow <3

amount of sleep: rn 4.5 hrs but usually closer to 7. i slept for like 14 hours a few days ago. it’s a wreck.

lucky number: 4. it’s a square. it’s just nice.

dream job: math professor but like, w/ tenure & in such a way i can lead an eccentric & confusing life

wearing: in truth pyjamas because of when i’m writing this but usually jeans tee shirts & beanies. i’m very hard into an aesthetic.

favorite song: uhhhhhh don’t @ me but do you remem8er me from homestuck’s “[S] >Remem8er” because that’s some good art & music & generally compelling & i can’t even recommend listening to it because i like it because of how the music fits with the emotional beats of the art but they fit so well the music alone makes me cry to this day

favorite instrument: piano! i’m not great but i’m decent. not embarrassed to play in front of people if i know what i’m playing.

aesthetic: blog - uhh purple. this is my least Refined space in that sense. fashion - kinda hipster-y? & recently very americana as i inherited some high quality clothing room/general life - i try for minimalist but it does not work the way i want it to. i have both fairy lights & led strip lights so that says something.

favorite author: hmmm this is hard but i’d say catherine m valente. all of her work is good, but space opera’s intended audience is young adults (in the actual, 17-25ish, sense of the words, not the meaning of the phrase) so that would be my recommended starting point.

favorite animal noise: when cats go “BRRP” at you. this is not the sound but it’s a pretty cat so i’m linking it anyway. this is closer, but i used to have a cat who did it with a more solid consonant at the beginning & spontaneously and it was the best thing.

random: oh fuck my entire life is an ecclectic mess depending on which section of the blog you’re in you could have a very different experience (i’m aware you’re prob reading this on the dashboard but it’s for the Emotion) of me but uhhhh i don’t believe birthday celebrations are fundamentally for the person with the birthday because when you try not to have one because that’s what you want people don’t let you and so it can’t be for you because it doesn’t matter what you want.

tagging: @eya-trying-to-function, @yusukesmomjeans, @legowerewolf, @mixedsensations , @quincunx , n anyone else who wants! if u tag me i will check it out. i’m new so i don’t have many mutuals yet but, like, i like making friends? god i’m such a nerd anyway okay bye 

[ares-golden-ram]

Thank you @pinabutterjam for tagging me! I almost forgot to do this bc of exams ahaha

Nickname: Matti or Matt

Gender: male (ftm)

Sign: Aries babey 🐏

Song stuck in my head: You don’t know the truth by The Neighbourhood Watch

Sexuality: bi/pan

Favorite animal: foxes n sheep/goats!

Current time: 7.35 pm

Cats or Dogs: love both but I’m more of a cat person

Last movie I watched: I think it was Spirited Away

Last thing I googled: ...Those photos Stalin edited to erase Trotsky after he became an enemy of the state, I had an history exam today and wanted to check them out

Other blogs: @/rotten-ram it’s my vent blog (there’s a lot of depressing stuff there be careful :/)

Do I get asks: sometimes but not that often

Dream Job: Video game localizator / translator

When I created my blog: 2012 bc of homestuck 😔

Reasons for URL:  the Golden Fleece is one of my fav myths and also answer #3

Following: 3923 I haven’t unfollowed anyone since I made this blog unless I find out they’re awful ppl

Average sleep: 5h

Luck number: 2!

Currently wearing:  nasa sweater n jeans

Dream trip: I really want to visit America again despite everything going on rn

Favorite food: shocking news, Italian dude likes pizza more at 11

Favorite song: too many, toothpaste kisses by the Maccabees , ghosting by mother mother, magic city by gorillaz...

Instruments: drums n piano but I haven’t touched either in years and I really want to learn how to play the bass!

Tagging: @nevermind-undo @pollodigitale n @queerjoys only if y’all feel like doing this!

[the1975attheirverybest]

hullo halla! its fucking FREEZING in aus rn, im collecting tips on staying warm and was wondering if youve got any? the tiktok has also been telling me that men get horny for sundresses... do we think matty is basic like that?

I was about to be like “what the fuck why are you cold and then I remembered that in Australia yall have winter rn hahaha. That’s very American of me, to be so self centered, I’m so sorry :((. But heyyy winter is for cozy blankets and hot cocoa 🥹🥹🥹

Ohhh fuckkkk yeah. This man is shameless he loves a little exposed leg action. Maybe if the dress shows off a little cleavage? Mister “was it your breasts from the start? They played a part.” And he’s def watching you walk away to see the way the dress moves with you/ check out the ass of course.

Plus! Easy access to the cunt region in case of horny emergency. Orrrrr, at the lunch/ dinner table. He can sneak his hand underneath…..or if you’re at the park and a particularly good wind/breeze passes by? He’s naughty so….

I need god don’t I? Oh well.

[ftscotty]

luke hemmings. cismale. he/him. ／  scotty  st.james  just pulled up blasting kiss bang by grandson — that song is so them ! you know, for a(n) twenty-three year old musician, i’ve heard they’re really  detached ,but that they make up for it by being so venturesome . if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say old guitars, the smell of cigarettes and bourbon, and hundred dollar bills thrown in the air . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( it’s me! the raq ) 

tws: parental neglect, drug abuse, stay safe but i think that’s it!

ᴛʟ;ᴅʀ ʙᴀꜱɪᴄꜱ:

full name: scotty antoni st.james

inspired by: my muse matty ! but also like.. not at all? kinda? think the anti-matty thats still kinda soft with a v similar backstory sifjad it’s complicated.

songs that remind me of him: king charles by yungblud, diet soda by the maine, scrawny by the wallows, ghost by badflower, am i pretty by the maine, nicotine by panic at the disco, godzilla by with confidence, annnnd original me by yungblud,

basicALLY, he’s really quite… rough around the edges. not an asshole? but not-not an asshole…? skfafa sam would prolly say like a goblin-lite, if you will. scottys been through SOOO much that he naturally, kinda grew to emotionally distance himself from /alot/ of people. hes not anti-social by…. ANY stretch of the imagination nowadays but like just because you know him doesn’t mean you KNOW him. has abandonment issues but rather than being clingy he will just– break up with u before u even THINK about leaving him. tbh that’s if he ever makes “dating” official to begin with. isn’t he lovely?

more in-depth:

alrighty so scotty was born october 21st, 1997 in brooklyn, new york to celia taylors. ( footnotes bc i don’t feel like writing alladat rn buuuut his dad skipped town before he was born bc tea: he has a wife and kids and rlly shouldn’t have been messing around with celia in the first place.) unfortunately, celia was not suited to be a mother by any means. as irresponsible as it comes, she didn’t necessarily make any concessions/change anything about her…. she was still HEAVY into drugs, HEAVY into drinking, and often would forget she left her child in the motel for hours at a time.

so from birth to like 5 he was… very alone and isolated. didn’t really hang out with other kids his age. mostly found himself stuck inside with the tv annnd whomever his mom found to “babysit” him.

by age five he was taken out of his mom’s custody and thrown into foster care. super terrified and uneasy around new people in general he was incredibly timid and scared as he moved around from house to house. he didn’t speak to anyone, stayed curled up in a ball like 99.9% of the time, night terrors, he was.. alot.  so he hoped around foster homes from the ages five to eight.  mainly because of his behavioral issues and each foster parent just... giving up on him. 

when he was ten,  he was on his fourth set of foster parents and they were really great. ryland and elizabeth st.james are two doctors who  were honestly really great, really patient,  and really tried to give him outlets to help him break out of his shell ( ala: putting him in guitar and singing)  and worked! alot better than they expected. scotty really just needed an outlet to express himself and music was the perfect place for that.  from then on ryland and elizabeth really grew on scotty . they are honestly the sweetest people he’s ever met, packing him kale filled lunches with cheesy “ have a good day at school” notes on napkins. they’re the first of his foster parents that he genuinely connected and the first encounter he’s ever had with genuine love . :”)  he’d also meet his best friend , brodie when he was ten on the first day of school. the two connected of a bag of cookies and music lmao .  to  boil it down, scotty’s life really started looking up around this time. 

the st.james’ officially adopted him when he was eleven, legally changing his last name to seal the deal. tbh this is the best day of scott’s life, he definitely will cry if he has to talk about it. 

having fallen in love with playing guitar and writing songs, scotty came up with the idea to start a band a group of his friends. they’d do a few gigs here and there but ultimately finally started making real career moves when they connected with a record label. 

they’d move to los angeles once things started to kick off and the rest was history ! 

personality: 

as aforementioned, scott’s still a little distant to most when first meeting them. mainly because he still fears getting close to someone and them leaving him once they really get to know him. so that’s another thing -- it’s kinda hard to read him? he’s not a fake person or anything, he just has a tendency to keep people at an arms length at all times. it’s not a secret but most people don’t know he’s adopted cause he hates talking about everything before he met the st. james family! 

kinda goes with that, but he’s the type to have alot of “friends” but really he’d consider most of them just random people he knows. it takes alot to earn titles like friends with this guy... sjafsd

tendency to write himself off as “not good enough” for just about every crush he’s ever had in his life.  generally just really struggles with his  self esteem .

i’d describe him as that small boy that was really scared when he was put into foster care in a much more harden shell. sarcasm and not taking anything really seriously, it’s all defense mechanism!  he still struggles with those same childhood anxieties sometimes.  

loves music, particularly 90s / early 2000s  pop-punk , rock, and alternative. 

will write a song about you and deny it because admitting he has enough emotions to?? write a love song about someone?? nahhhhhhh they could hurt him if they knew that.

we love 1 edgy e-boy. 

hmu for any connections cause pls but ideas r

best friends, party friends, exes ( alot of em. i forsee most are him never saying ily, or being like “we’re just.. fwb” real mean stuff fjads), crushes (unrequited?), neighbors, fellow musicians, ex-pr relationships, anything yo