#don’t look at Azz’s hair too closely

[sky-skeks]

My coloring!! This is such a good way to learn how to render. I can really take my time and learn more about colors instead of focusing on the sketch. Also drew them in their current ranks as well as their current appearance.

Backgrounds continue to be the bane of my existence

[bumblebeedrizzzle]

Tickletober 2024

Maketism Tickletober 2024

Days 10-12 - Tickle Fight

A/N: Just something short today to add onto the end of the previous fic with these two. I’m still feeling pretty inspired with this pairing, so there should be more to come! Maybe if I write enough I’ll make a masterlist?? Anywho hope you enjoy!

First fic with these two here

Previous part here

Both Iruma and Asmodeus lay on Iruma’s bed, completely out of breath. Asmodeus’ normally perfect hair was messy and matted with sweat. He was still giggling occasionally. Iruma had a big grin plastered on his face as he poked Azz here and there, but he also looked exhausted.

“N-no mohore I-Iruma-sahama…mercy, plehease” said Azz. He looked up with with pleading eyes.

Iruma’s heart did a summersault when they locked eyes. He took in Azz’s flushed face, the tears forming in his eyes, the wobbly smile still on his lips. Thump. Had Asmodeus ever looked so cute?

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” he replied. “I’ll just make do with a few more pokes then.”

“Eep! Hehe, Irumahaha!” he whined.

“Alright, alright! I’ll stop hehe,” said Iruma with a blinding smile. “This was so much fun. Thanks, Azz-kun. You’re the best!”

Asmodeus took a few minutes to let out the last of the giggles and catch his breath. His heart rate didn’t fully slow, but that was pretty normal for him around Iruma.

“Who said the fun had to end…?” Asmodeus murmured.

“Hmm? Did you say something, Azz-kuhuhuhuhuhun?! Wahahaha!”

“After all, I never said I would wait to tickle you again, Iruma-sama! You should never ever take pity on a demon.”

Iruma gulped.

“Now, what was it you said? Come on, let out that laugh for me? Don’t be shy?”

Iruma immediately turned red. Oh devils do I regret saying that now.

“Pffft! N-no fair Azz-kun! I’m all worn out now! Ahaha! I thought you were tohoho!”

“I think I have heard something along the lines of ‘All’s fair in love and tickle wars’!” he crowed triumphantly. “And if you’ve truly thinking about tickling me all day, then perhaps a good tickling is just what you need as well! As your best friend, I am more than happy to provide” he flourished with a small bow.

Iruma did his best to fight back, he really did, but it was like Azz had never been tired at all. For every poke he managed to land, Azz landed at least 3 more. He really was attacking full force, albeit more gently than last time, and making good use of the spots he’d found then too.

“Yahaha not my shohoulder blahahades!! Plehehease!!”

“Hmm? Begging for me to get your hips already? Oh, we are desperate, aren’t we Iruma-sama?”

“Nahahaha night whahahaht I meahehent A-Ahazz-kun!”

Though they were both supposed to be new to this whole tickling thing, Azz was making Iruma go weak in the knees. He was having a harder and harder time fighting back.

“Ahhh!! AHAHA! N-nohohoho!!!”

“Oh, I wasn’t able to get your feet last time. This is quite promising” Azz said with a satisfied grin.

“Y-you’re ehihihihivil!! WAHAHA!!

“Evil?? That’s not a very nice thing to say to your best friend, now is it, Iruma-sama?”

“W-WAHAIT IHIHI TAHAHAKE IHIHIT BAHAHACK! TAKE IT BAHAHACK!!!”

“Yes, I am sure you do. But I suppose I’ll have to punish you nonetheless. But don’t worry, I’ll be gentle”

If Azz hadn’t looked evil before, he certainly did now.

“Ehehehe!!!! Gehehehentle ihihis stihihill vehehery tihihihickly!!!! Hahahaha!!”

Eventually, he stopped fighting altogether and allowed himself to get wrecked with a capital W. He trusted Azz to stop when he really needed it. The mansion echoed with his laughter for a long time.

Opera found them much later, both sprawled across Iruma’s bed, giggling lightly. They smiled fondly, and closed the door. The boys could always have a late dinner tonight.

[snexy-the-snail]

Wait wait wait. The Iruma-kun fandom ? You're into it ? If so I'm gonna have to request some Dad Kalego because boi ! Our precious blue bean needs one trustworthy adult who'll know what to do. Kalego not letting Iruma getting into danger is what sold his character to me.

(Personally, I’m dying to see his reaction to Iruma being human- But yesss i’m a slut for dad figure not realizing they have a kid and said kid oblivious as well)  

Kalego sat in his office staring at the blue haired demon- no human in silent shock. Iruma only seems to get more anxious with each second passing. How had he not seen it? Every weird quirk the boy had, the lack of horns and fangs- He had thrown the kid off a cliff. A spike of guilt hit him hard at that memory. The boy had been terrified and he had.."A-ah Kalego- sensei?"  

He turns his attention to the human in front of him. The stupid self-sacrificing human who had constantly been throwing himself into danger.  

A soft squishy little thing not meant to be thrown around by this world. He grits his teeth and stands suddenly the feeling of a fierce need to protect clawing at his chest. "Who else knows?" He demands to look down at the boy. A flash of fear from the boy making his stomach twist. When he doesn't receive and answer he slams his fist down on his desk. "I said who else knows!"  

Iruma flinches back, his eyes wide and filled with fear and hesitancy. Kalego could practically hear the little heartbeat pounding in his chest. The small thing needed to be safe he needed to be tucked away from this cruel and dangerous world.  

"J-just Grandpa, Opera-san and..and Balam-sensei." Iruma squeaks out, watching Kalego anxiously. "I-I ah..I know I'm not supposed to tell anyone sensei was really worried about anyone finding out and I know why but I just- you're my teacher and my..my familiar so I thought you should know too." The boy finishes squeezing his eyes shut, his head bowed slightly and his hands gripping his pants like he expected the demon to lash out and gobble him up right there.  

"I pushed you off a cliff." Kalego watches his student tense, cautiously meeting his eyes. "E-eh? Well yeah but you didn't know that I didn't have any wings."  

An exhausted sounding sigh escaped the demon as he looked at Iruma. A human. It was a miracle that the small thing had made it this far. He had done so many things that would've killed a human. The protective feeling itched at his mind, his scowl deepening  

“The point is you would’ve been killed you senseless idiot.” It made sense why the idiotic head of the school had those cutesy little lessons be mandatory, even then he wasn’t doing his grandson any favors. “Not only that if someone got a whiff of your wound you would’ve been killed. Do you understand that? How close to begin torn apart you were?”

The color drains from the boys' face those stupidly innocent eyes peering up at him. Guilt clawed at his chest, but the boy needed to know how dangerous it was. Young demons didn’t understand the full truth behind eating humans and... neither would Iruma. His anger fades when he finally takes a good look at the boy, tears slowly dripping down his cheeks, his lip trembling ever so slightly.

“I... I know. and I’m sorry for worrying you Kalego Sensei, but..but I needed to help Sabnock and the Guardian's baby- and! and I don’t wanna worry Azz or Clara because that just adds a ton of stress onto them-” the child kept ramblings, tears still pricking at the corner of his eyes. Kalego wasn’t sure what was being said, finally he gave into the instinct screaming at him.

He lunges forward his entire being demanding the safety of this odd demon hatchling, more so when Iruma flinched. Kalego wasn’t a parental creature, he never saw himself settling down with a mate and having hatchlings. Still a soft warble escapes him as he presses his forehead against Iruma’s.

There was silence from his student, Kalego taking it as a sign to continue. His wings flare from his wing base before folding over them in a swift motion. It was out of character for him this whole thing was. He had never felt this unbearably heavy feeling of parental instinct before.  

“You. You need extra lessons, not only about basic demon history but on culture and customs. It’s a miracle you haven’t been killed yet.” He pulls back, trying to shove those ridiculous feelings away. Iruma wasn’t his hatchling- just a student he needed to pay special attention to.

“You..you’re not going to eat me?” The boy asks meekly, his eyes wide with confusion. For the love of- did this stupid little human seriously come here expecting to be eaten? “I certainly want to.” He growls, frowning when the boy tenses up in the chair, but he didn’t run. No self-preservation.  

“At least I’d know where you were, and none of that ridiculous display of self-sacrificing behavior.” He continues half trying to jolt a reaction from the boy. “Tch, it’s obvious Balam hasn’t told you.” He was surprised the demon hadn’t swallowed the boy himself, he knew his friend to be oddly protective of the human species..then again, he was probably terrified of scaring the boy.

“He um..told me not to tell anyone and to use better perfumes.” Iruma squeaks, playing with the edge of his shirt. Kalego lets an exhausted sigh out as he pinches the bridge of his nose. Looks like the duty of telling the boy fell to him. Wonderful.

“Demons eat humans.” He starts off seeing the boy tense again, his cowlick seeming to straighten a bit. “You’re aware of that, but it’s more than that. Demons aren't like you humans; we have a pouch of sorts.” He pauses to let the boy absorb the information. “Now humans are an easy source to heal from, so what better way to become practically invincible than to hold a human in your pouch? There were also cases of human hatchlings being adopted by demons this way, it got..messy, so precautions were put into place and stories were twisted to prevent the mess from happening again.”

“S..so you want to...put me in that pouch Kalego-Sensei?” Iruma asks- it was a genuinely innocent question that made all his parental instincts surge to the surface. “It would certainly keep you out of trouble.” He snaps before composing himself with a deep breath. It wasn’t Iruma’s fault the poor thing didn’t even know half the things he should.  

“It...it won’t hurt you, will it? Im..im a little big to fit.” the comments quietly, his eyes flinching to his middle nervously. “Even now you’re worrying about others you ridiculous hatchling!?” He snaps, that ugly protective feeling ripping through his chest. “I could tear you apart right now, I could keep you from your beloved friends and grandfather and yet you are worried about me.” He snarls, baring his teeth at the boy.

He’s expecting some reaction, fear, tears *something* and yet those blue eyes just stared back at him with just a hint of surprise. “U-um...Kalego-Sensei are..are you..are you concerned about me? Because you shouldn’t be I’m fine I swear.”  

If this boy kept it up, he would be ending up in his gut. “Yes, I am concerned about you. You the human that throws himself into every dangerous situation, a human that regularly goes up against demons who could snap him into a twig, a silly little child who has no idea how much danger he truly is in.” Which each word he gets closer to the small thing again, the parental feeling roaring at him.

“You are a hatchling, a mere baby compared to me and everyone around you due to your species. You could die at any moment just because a demon went into their evil cycle.” He slams his hands on either arm of the chair Iruma was sitting in, peering down at that child.  

There was silence between before Iruma’s eyes watered again. The boy’s shoulders tensed up as he grabbed the fabric of his uniform. The soft warble escapes him again before he can think properly, this time Iruma responds to it, much like a demon hatchling would by lightly pressing his forehead against his. He could feel the tremors wracking the boy's body, guilt washing over him again.  

“You’re ridiculous.” He murmurs, proceeding to let a cautious croon out. It was odd not hearing a responding noise. His hatchling wasn’t a demon however, he wouldn’t ever respond the way he expected.  

He sighs and slowly pulls away, before awkwardly lifting the boy up by his armpits and shifting him against his body. It felt wrong, but the boy responded this time, his face buried in his chest as he let out pitiful sounding sobs out.

“What am I going to do with you?” He closes his eyes, once again folding his wings over the shivering body. “I..I’m sorry...I didn't mean to..to worry you Kalego-Sensei.” Iruma finally manages to choke out. Of course, he would take the blame-even if it was right this time.  

“That ridiculous grandfather of yours hasn’t done you any favors..But I promise to keep you safe where he fails.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That promise had been made several weeks ago, and Iruma, to the boy's credit, had tried staying out of dangerous situations. Since then, the ridiculous protective feeling had been growing stronger, it came to be a problem when Clara had accidentally cut Iruma’s hair with a sharp object.  

“Look what you’ve done! You hurt Master Iruma you reckless brat!” Asmodeus snaps at the green haired demon before turning to Iruma who laughs nervously as his friend grasped his hurt hand. “Iruma-Sama are you alright? Let me see how deep it is.” The human opening his mouth to speak, Clara interrupting him before he could get a word in.

Clara shoves her hand into her pockets promptly bringing out bandages. “Here Iruma Chi- I didn’t mean to.” She whines, her tail whipping behind her anxiously. Asmodeus snatches the offered bandages, focused on making it better. Kalego however couldn’t take it anymore. The hatchling was hurt, he was hurt, and his blood scent would be in the air soon enough. He knew full well the stupid little thing wouldn’t fight if his friends turned on him.

“Enough. I will take it from here, get to class.” He snaps, resisting the urge to snarl at the two demons. The last thing he wanted to get out was him showing parental instincts to a student. “But-” HE cuts the pink haired demon off immediately, “Now Asmodeus.”  

“I’ll be okay, I promise Azz.” Iruma reassures, and only then did the demon nod slowly. “Very well, I will see you in class then.” And with that they were left alone, Asmodeus dragged Clara from the area.   The second the two were gone Kalego gripped the back of Iruma’s shirt, lifting the human up much like a kitten, the boy also lifted his legs up much like one.  

“Ah..um.. Kalego sensei?” He squeaks, the demon's attention snapping back to the small creature. His instincts roared to life again, his eyes narrowing before taking an annoyed breath in. “Why must you make every little thing complicated?” He growls. Now he would need to make up a lie of why the boy wasn’t in class, then deal with Balam about swallowing the human, god he would need to deal with the annoying human being tucked away too, “Sorry? Can I um..go to Balam sensei? Or Grandpa if it’s annoying.”  

Kalego growls information as he feels an odd warming sensation in his fingers, the human slowly being adjusted in size. “No. That’s not what’s going to happen.” When had he become so protective of the little troublemaker? Just because he was human? Iruma was really a clueless little thing. They had this talk a few days ago and yet he didn’t seem to recall. It was only until the boy seemed to notice he was dangling more he connected the dots.

“O-oh am... are you gonna..Kalego sensei are you going to use the um..pouch you talked about?” Iruma squeaked his eyes wide. The expression made him sigh in exasperation.

“How have you survived in this world for so long? You're completely oblivious.” He mutters beneath his breath, cupping a hand under the boy as his form continued to shrink. Something small enough he wouldn’t be noticeable tucked away but large enough the boy wouldn't feel like he would be forgotten inside. The last thing he wanted to do was traumatize the human.

“I guess I'm really lucky?” Iruma responds, cautiously grasping onto the fingers gripping the back of his uniform. The boy seemed to relax when a hand came to support his feet. It was surprising how...trusting the boy was. “Luck might have something to do with it.” He agrees, looking at the boy sitting in his palm. Before he could even think a soft warbling croon escaped him, Iruma's eyes widening in recognition and letting a rough sounding whine out. Someone had been doing research and even if it wasn’t perfect his instincts roared inside him, his pupils dilating slightly.

“Did..did I do that right?” The boy squeaks, trying again. The rough sounding whine was imperfect, but it made every parental feeling inside of Kalego twist inside him. “It’s rough.” He mumbles lifting the boy above his mouth. There was a brief pause where Iruma lifted his feet up nervously before lowering them again. “o-oh..sorry. It’s um... it’s a little hard to do.” The boy admits quietly, a small squeak escaping him when Kalegos’s lips parted.

“Then practice more, I’m sure you’re capable of doing it correctly.” Seeing the human’s eyes widen at the rush of warmth was adorable, mostly because there wasn’t a hint of fear in them. “You’ll be fine, do not kick me.” It was a small attempt of reassuring the boy, which seemed to work as there wasn’t any flailing as he lowered the boy inside his mouth being cautious of his fangs. He made sure to cradle the small frame on his tongue, waiting a second before sealing the human inside.

The moment was silent before tiny hands started to poke around, a sense of curiosity slowly radiating from the small frame inside of his jaws. He let a soft sigh out before starting to slick Iruma up for the trip down. He closes his eyes focusing on the flavor of the small body, enjoying the satisfaction of his instincts being soothed.  

A squeal suddenly sounded from between his jaws, his eyes snapping open as Iruma squirmed around, shoving at his tongue with another squeal. Laughter. Was he somehow tickling this small hatchling? A brief feeling of deviousness washes over him before he starts targeting the seemingly ticklish spots on the boy, a wonderful sounding bought of laughter sounding out. He continued his relentless attack before letting the boy have a rest, small giggles occasionally escaping the boy.

After a moment he tilted his head back, waiting for the feeling of small feet at the entrance of his throat before swallowing thickly. After the second swallow he pressed a finger against the boys form his collar bone. down until the boy slipped under his collar bone.

A warm weight squelched into his stomach, a squirming child moving around for a few moments. Probably getting oriented. “Ah..um Kalego- sensei.. This is safe right? Sorry it’s just um..it’s a little scary, not that I don’t Trust you! It’s just a stomach and humans can’t exactly do this.” The voice was muffled slightly and yet he could hear it as clear as day. A small sense of guilt washed over him as he sighed, pressing a hand to his middle. “Yes-” He cuts the little nervous ramble off. “It’s completely safe. Now get settled down, just because you’re inside doesn’t mean you can ignore the lesson. We both know you have a lot to catch up on as well.”

There was a small shift in weight before he felt the boy fully settle down. Oddly enough against his hand, which he didn’t think would make the boy comfortable. “I will tell your friends that you went to the nurse's office.” HE adds on with a sigh. This didn’t mean he was going soft, it just meant he was indulging in his instincts, nothing more or less.  

There was silence as he started back towards their classroom, the royal one the boy had managed to get them. Admittedly it was much nicer than the original classroom and the fledglings were working hard to keep their earned room. Just as he was going back to the door a small voice piped up.

“Kalego sensei?”

He pauses his hand brushed against the door handle. “Yes Iruma?”

“Thank you for um..looking out for me, I appreciate it.”

Kalego let a small sigh out cupping his hand to his middle again, relishing the perfect feeling of having the troublesome hatchling tucked away safely. “Don’t expect me to coddle you. You will need to grow strong to protect yourself.” There was silence again, so he opened the door, striding inside to his desk.  

“I promise you Kalego Sensei that I will rank up and get stronger. I won’t disappoint you.” A brief smile twitches at the corner of his lips the statement. He could practically see the determined look on the child’s face. He didn’t doubt the small human either, Iruma worked  hard to get where he was now and with proper guidance, he didn’t doubt the boy would do great things.

“I know.” He murmurs quietly before clearing his throat and addressing the class. He would need to speak with Balam and the idiot chairman about Iruma but for now... He had a class to teach.

[colonsoup]

i don’t have a title for this sorry

posting this at 3 am so i can’t physically restrain myself later

this is my first time sharing writing out anywhere but my own friend group so i beg you be gentle on me. i’m only testing the waters and seeing if i’m truly comfortable sharing my stuff so this is safe and lighthearted. if this does well i will definitely look into sharing my more angsty and whumpy writing in the future.

i don’t have a summary rn so sorru check back later

contents: safe vore, male pred, m/f, m/m, multiple prey, they’re just messing around

“Please! Someone! Help me!” Azz cried out. She wriggled, fruitlessly attempting to wrestle herself from Silas’s grip, but she proved no match, and her hands slipped past his lips.

Another loud gulp, and her thighs easily entered his throat.

She could feel her feet in his stomach, so tight she could barely even wiggle her toes. “Save me!” She called again, and Silas could only chuckle slightly.

His middle began to swell, stomach stretching to contain his new meal as she slowly gathered inside him.

Her shoulders disappeared into his mouth, and now came her head.

“Please..” Azz whimpered as a tongue wrapped around her head, covering her mouth and muffling any and all speech.

He pulled her in and closed his jaws, a final gulp sealing the girl’s fate.

Rune watched with horror as Azz disappeared down Silas’s throat, the chimera tracing her journey with a claw tipped finger.

“You beast!” Rune shouted, rage in his voice.

“You won’t get away with this! I’ll cut her out myself if I have to.” He flipped open a knife, and Silas watched it glimmer in the light.

But the chimera only laughed, running a careful hand over his now full belly. “Really now?” He took a step forward. “You think you’re any match for me?”

For a moment, Rune faltered. It was a given how much stronger Silas was. In comparison to Rune, even the scrawny chimera seemed like a muscleman.

He swallowed down the growing lump in his throat, and his sense along with it.

In a fury, Rune charged.

Silas caught him mid dash, gripping his wrists and forcing them above his head.

The knife fell out of Rune’s weakened grasp, clattering to the floor. Silas kicked it away.

“You know.” Silas began, leaning close to Rune.

Rune bit back a shiver as Silas drew close. He whispered a chuckle in the pink-haired male’s ear.

His breath was warm on Rune’s cheek, leaving behind a wet spot as its only mark. The angular curves of Silas’s face fit perfectly into the crook of Rune’s neck, and the chimera carefully nestled into Rune’s collar.

“You smell delicious. I can’t get enough of you.” He chuckled again. “I’m so full, but-maybe I could go for seconds.”

His words were supported by a hungry growl from his still squirming belly.

Rune glanced down in horror, already beginning to tremble as Silas licked a stripe up his cheek.

“Oh Rune, beloved, hold still will you?”

Silas took Rune’s face in with ease, pinning the boy with the strength in his arms alone and carefully guiding each part of him into his mouth.

He began to salivate, coating Rune’s face in saliva and earning him a slight squirm. How entertaining. Silas gulped, and his throat stretched to make way for the second course.

The sensation never got old, and was always one of Silas’s favorite parts.

He whined slightly, moaning around Rune’s shoulders as they were gently pushed past his lips.

After a few seconds, he felt Azz jolt, and begin to squirm uncomfortably, and he knew Rune’s head had entered his stomach.

Swallowing was difficult now, rushed, instinctive. Silas was far too focused on the sensation in his middle.

Skin was stretched even tighter than before, pulled taut over his swollen stomach.

He grunted, almost feeling his gut touch the floor with how close to the ground he was kneeling.

He hastily removed Rune’s shoes, and swallowed down the investigator completely.

For several minutes, Silas could only sit and pant, both pleased and exhausted by his meal. His face was flush bright blue as he licked his lips.

His stomach gurgled beneath his touch, fingers drumming the taut surface as its occupants struggled to get comfortable.

“…”How was that?” He asked suddenly.

“That was amazing!” Rune cheered from beneath the skin.

Below him, Azz’s muffled voice came through. “It’s a bit cramped though.”

Silas blushed. “Yeah, sorry.” He rubbed his gut sheepishly in apology. “I’ll cook dinner tonight for you both.”

He yawned suddenly, falling back flat to the ground.

His stomach lurched, but held strong, and Silas sighed in relief. He really didn’t want to be sick right now.

“I hope you don’t mind if I have a nap. I’m exhausted, and I’ll need quite a bit of energy to let you both out later.”

With only a small movement in response, Silas closed his eyes.

[mrjsbunny]

I have too many thoughts about J (ledger!joker) and now I need to get them out. Some of them will be in the context of a “reader” or partner and others will just be thoughts. They might be super specific and bad but I’m doing it here we go:

- J knows every word to songs like Get Low, Shake Ya Ass, Back That Azz Up, etc. because he thinks it’s funny and he knows it’s unexpected of him. Salt N Peppa are his favorite.

- speaking of songs of that nature, when he pulls off some crime that he’s not super concerned about (something he would consider casual) he plays Ridin’ while driving away for the simple fact that it’s stupid and he doesn’t take it seriously

- he does the gun on the counter thing that drug dealers do except he has insane weapons and lots of them so it’s just that much more unnerving

- he likes his partner to sit nicely or “sit pretty” (a phrase he will use to remind them to be proper) even when nobody else is around but ESPECIALLY when he’s doing something important with other people

- when someone is rambling and he wants to see where it’ll lead them he will just sit quietly and stare blankly at them. As if he knows something, but he often doesn’t and just wants to see what will happen. Sometimes a scare tactic, sometimes just a playful thing.

- he absolutely has a body piercing that isn’t visible to most people. Go ahead, try to find it.

- non-sexual dominance is already kind of his thing but in the context of a partner he cares about (if you can call it that) he will reach for things on shelves even if they can reach it, help them do their hair even if they are fully capable, feed them snacks that don’t really need extra assistance, etc.

- if he catches his partner staring at him (especially his hands) he will snap his fingers to get their attention. He won’t even acknowledge that it was happening. Just a snap or two and then get back to his task or the conversation.

- he has a strong love for 80s music, specifically iconic songs that are kinda cheesy

- he doesn’t do any drugs but he thinks it’s really cute when his partner is a lil fried and he’s a good trip sitter as long as you don’t look at him too close (I mean this in the nicest way possible, he would probably be scary to look at while rolling)

- taxidermy freaks him out 🤷‍♀️

- he has hearing loss from all the gunfire and explosions and what not and he worries one day he will not be able to hear his partners voice anymore so he’s okay with them talking a ton

- he gives weird hugs. This is based on my late friend who never really learned how to hug so his hugs were just a bit too tight and just a bit awkward but in the most endearing way. That’s how I think J would hug.

- he leaves paint all over the fucking bathroom

Aight I need to stop I could do this for hours. I may or may not do some NSFW ones (if literally one person says to do it I will I just need validation) so sorry for typos if there are any and yeah my sentence structure is ass :/

[eartht137]

DEAREST HEART-LETTER TWO

Whooo, goodness!! I spooked myself after writing the first letter. There is a dog next door to my house and she likes to stare out towards the back "alley way" and one night while I was showering by candlelight (blinds still aren't fixed) she wouldn't stop staring out at the alley way. My azz was spooked lol. That being said, here is another "letter" from Mr. Kal El himself. Enjoy curvies MMMMMMwwwaahhhhhhh!!!!

Dark Clark Kent x Plus Size Reader

Warnings: Stalking (This chapter is pretty tame)

A few days later, the whole situation had hidden itself in your brain. You had so much going on in your waking life, you really didn't have time to dwell on a possible prank. Your birthday had arrived and you really weren't feeling too thrilled about it. Your depression just had to spike up and ruin the one day you thought you would enjoy, but you didn't even get to stress about it for long. You'd stepped into your office to boot up your computer for the day, and you saw it. On your desk was a letter, same vintage parchment, but his time it had an Aster instead of a Rose. You stared at it for so long, wondering if you should read it or not. You finally sat down and pulled the letter out of the envelope to see what he had to say.

Happy Birthday Little One,

I wish so badly that I could show you the best birthday you've ever had, but that will have to wait. I know you're not looking forward to today. I've noticed you haven't mentioned it much, and you almost forgot. How do you forget your birthday silly girl? I have purchased a gift every year since we met, I can't wait until I'm able to give them to you and you can unwrap each and everyone as if it were Christmas. Why haven't you planned anything? Not even a free day for yourself, what's going on? I wish you would talk to me. I want so badly to help you get better, but its a one day at a time deal. I was there you know, when you almost died? I was there the night you called your husband and told him the truth about how bad you felt. I swear it was the scariest night of my life when the surgeon walked in and told you they were putting you in an induced state for a week. All I could think was, what if you didn't wake up, or what if they did something wrong? What if they hurt you more or caused a bad reaction. I have seen a lot of things, but I have never been so sad and afraid to lose someone like you. I watched over you every night, making sure you'd come back to me and the baby. Well, you know what I mean. I know that's been rough on you, but you are making great progress. I remember you saying you'd like to change your hair, would you like for me to set up your appointment? I think you'd look delicious with cherry red hair, just don't cut it please. I love your hair. I love everything about you. I know you don't remember, but the moment our eyes met, I couldn't get you out of my head. I tried, I swear I tried so hard to stay away. I'd go for walks at night to clear my head and try not to think of you, and I'd find myself further and further away from home. It has to be fate that wants us together, because there you were, pulling in from work one night. I watched you sit there blaring your music, trying to finish the song before you went inside. I knew you right away, I had never been so....I can't describe how it felt, it was overwhelming. It had to be love that outweighed the hurt, even your "husband" walked out to greet you, it just couldn't overshadow what my heart felt. I told myself that I loved you enough to let you be happy, and I did for awhile. Not one day or night went by where you didn't cross my mind, so I decided to whisk by and take a picture of you, just for memory of the woman I couldn't have. One picture turned to two, two turned to ten. I had to get the perfect angle, but the only perfect angle is up close, in person; like I said I did try. I wish I could take you out for your birthday. I'd cook for us and we'd go down by the river, or I could take you somewhere 5 star. I know its really not your thing, but you deserve to be served like a queen. You are a queen to me. I dreamed about you, I dream about you all the time, but this one was different. It scared me so much, I woke in cold sweat. I can't bear to think about it now, but I know it was just a stupid dream. I will have to go out of the country for awhile, but I promise to still write as often as I can. I love you, so much.

With All My Heart and Soul,

Kal-El

"Babe!!! Babe, I need to tell you something." You said scared senseless. You rushed to your husband, showing him the letters and explained that you thought it was a sick prank. Your husband immediately called the police. He packed you all up and as much as he hated it, you all went to stay with your mom.

That night while you were up talking to your mom, she leaned back and asked you something insane.

"Is that really another man's baby?" she asked seriously.

"NO! I don't even know who this is, I swear I don't know a Kal-El. I've never met anyone like that in all my life." You whisper screamed at her as you struggled to hold back tears. She stared into your eyes for a moment before sighing heavily. Before you knew it she was crying and hugging your neck so tight you couldn't breathe.

"After all you've been through, this was the last thing you needed. I've always told you to be careful and watch your surroundings." She fussed.

"Ma I did, but I don't ever go anywhere. I stay in the house most of the time and I'm always with my family." You couldn't help but feel as if you were being attacked.

"You never know who is watching you." She argued back.

"Ma, look at me." You said standing back opening your arms to show your full body. "All these years I've worked hard to feel comfortable in my own skin. It took me a long time to feel fully comfortable around my own husband. All of these years you guys have trashed me for my weight, the times you all have told me that I get different treatment for my size, there was no way in this world I could've ever imagined that I would get stalked by-by this Kal-El fucker!" You yelled as tears flowed down your face, you could even feel your face strain in anger. "Now this is happening, and I should've been watching my surroundings. You drilled in my head for years that people looked past me for you and everyone else. You drilled in my head that people would only want me to use me, YOU DRILLED IN MY HEAD THAT I NEVER HAD THE LOOK TO MAKE IT OUT HERE, SO NOW HERE WE ARE WITH A MANIAC THAT SOMEHOW MANAGED TO FIND ME THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW OR HAVE ANY CLUE AS TO WHAT THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE AND I SHOULD'VE BEEN WATCHING MY SURROUNDINGS!?" Your head felt like it was on fire, then all at once stars appeared and you lost vision.

When you woke up you were laying on the floor with a jacket under your neck as your mom and family (that she had called) stood around trying to get you to come back to. You tried sitting up, but only felt dizzier. Your hands and feet felt numb and you were shaking as sweat poured off of your body. Your husband sat by you, fanning you and giving you water. When you began to feel better, he helped you up and over to the couch. He asked everyone to leave you alone and not upset you anymore.

"Baby what do you want to do? How can I make you feel safe?" Your husband asked.

You stared deep in his eyes and remembered why you loved him so much. He always went out of his way to make sure you were happy. You thought back to not so pleasant days when you both argued and said mean things and your realized then and there how much you took him for granted sometimes. Before you knew it the flood gates released and you sobbed.

"Can you just hold me please?" You asked in a small pitiful voice.

"I will always hold you and be there for you baby. I love you. We will get through this together, like we always do."

[azz-clazz-shit]

3. Bunnies by @azz-clazz-shit

Inspired by @dreaming-of-assclass 's spring prompt list.

Characters: Kayano Kaede, Okuda Manami and Yukiko Kanzaki

Wordcount: 917

Summary: All of them are walking around town to find something to do and it seems that they finally found something.

»»————-　♡　————-««

"So boring." Kayano whined as she groggily walked between Okuda and Kanzaki.

The sun was out and no clouds were in the air, making it the perfect weather to hangout outside. Kayano had immediately called them, talking about the nice weather and they should get together after school to go to town.

As they met up at the designated waiting area, they realize they had nothing planned whatsoever. Kanzaki suggested to look around the area to look for something to do. Yet so far, nothing really caught their interests.

"Come on. Don't be like that Kayano-chan. It's nice to just hang around around with the two of you. I'm having fun right now." Okuda exclaimed, hoping to cheer the green-haired girl up.

"That's right Kayano-chan. Besides, it's nice getting to go outside like this and just taking a walk." Kanzaki also said, with a gentle smile on her face.

Kayano sighed. "I know. But I wanted to at least create some better memories with you guys." Kayano had a glum expression on her face that showed something much more deeper than just not getting to do something with her friends.

Her two friends were about to ask if she was alright, then suddenly, the sound of children laughing ringed their ears, shaking Kayano's dark thoughts away in the process and getting herself back into character.

"Let's check that out!" She grabbed their wrists and dragged them along with her, leading them to a small crowd of people. Mostly parents and their children. They squeezed through the crowd to meet a mini petting zoo filled with bunnies.

Their eyes sparkled as they saw the small, furry animal with their long ears and short puffy tail. They cooed and Okuda and Kanzaki were glad that Kayano's mood lifted.

"Look! Look at the bunnies!" A boy near them yelled, pointing at the bunnies as he tugged on his mother's sleeve. "Ne, ne. Can we pet them?" He asked to one of the people who were tending to them.

"Of course. You can do it with a price of ¥500, you get 10 minutes of petting them and another ¥100 to feed them." The worker explained.

"Can we mom?!" The boy asked.

"No, Shota-kun. We'll do it later once we get your brother. I'll get you a treat if you listen."

"Fine." He had a pout on his face but he was excited to get something good out of it.

The girls listened to the worker and turn their heads to each other then nodded. They got out their wallets and got 200 each.

“Excuse me.” Kanzaki walked towards the worker with Kayano and Okuda following. “Could we pet the bunnies and have some food for them?” She showed her the money and the worker took it and grabbed a small pouch . The worker opened the gates inside the mini bunny petting zoo. 

The inside has already a couple of people, which mostly consisted of children, there but they didn’t mind. Before rushing to the bunnies, Kanzaki gave them equal amounts of kibble to the group. Okuda had a white bunny on her lap, which she petted. Kanzaki had some kibble on her hand, feeding a black and white spotted bunny. Kayano had a brown bunny on her arms, carrying it like a baby, scratching the area near her ears softly. 

‘Cute~’ All of them thought of it as they were close to the soft to the touch creatures.

The atmosphere was bright that even sparkles seemed to appear...

Soon, their time was up and they had to leave the bunnies. They waved goodbye to them and Kayano might have cried as well. 

“Well that was fun!” Kayano exclaimed. 

“Mhm.” Okuda agreed. “But let’s plan something next time we hangout.” 

“Totally. Most of our time was wasted walking around aimlessly. At least the bunnies were good though.” Kanzaki pointed out.

“The bunnies were the best!” Kayano shouted causing Okuda and Kanzaki to laugh at her behavior.

Both continued walking until Kayano realized something. “Oh no!’

Worried for their friend, both asked what was wrong or if that she’s all right.

“I forgot to take pictures of me and the bunnies.” The green haired girl let out a dramatic cry as she said that.

It also dawned on her dark haired friends. Both silently stood in the middle of the street. They were too engrossed in the moment that they forgot to take pictures of the bunny.

Kayano had a sad expression on her face until she spotted something out of her eye. It was a café with a sign 茶店 in pastel colors. “Why don’t we go there?” Poking her friends to gain their attention.

They agreed and headed in. The inside had a sweet, soothing smell that makes one’s heart melt. They decided to order some snacks and two teas for Okuda and Kanzaki and hot cocoa for Kayano. 

Once they got their orders, the sweets looked so adorable that you would hesitate to eat them. They decided to take pictures this time so they can remember this day they had. As they were there, they chatted about normal stuff and plans on how to kill Koro-sensei here and there. Once they finished their food, they headed outside to find out that the sun was setting.

All of them took the station to get home. They all said their goodbyes and once they got home, the told each other in a group chat that consisted just the three of them.

[A/N: Sorry that the ending was kind of rushed. And that it was late.]

[ichika27]

Mairimashita! Iruma-kun s2 ep18

Was gonna post this days ago but I decided to do twewy-related stuff first lol.

Anyways, lots of pictures below again. At least 20, I think. Talks of ships below as well.

The last time we saw them, Iruma had jumped in front of the beast preparing to shoot a blast of magic in front of Ronove. Everyone else is worried but don’t know what to do cause if they tried to help, they’d get blasted, too. It seems though that Iruma himself has a plan.

Iruma plans to use Ali-san’s ability to swallow the huge amount of magic to eat the blast of it the beast is going to release saying he thought it was possible since Ali-san is the Ring of Gluttony. Arikured is surprised by this and complains at first but agrees he could do such a thing but Iruma's strength will be needed to succeed.

Remember that spell Iruma learned before about changing the appearance of something? Iruma uses that magic spell to turn Ali-san into this... cat thing. Giant cat thing idk so it could swallow the magic. Ali-san swallows the entire beast and let it explode inside him. Once it was over, the sky clears up, too. The plan totally worked and Ali-san is full!

Does this mean Iruma could use the power that got eaten from the beasts?

Trouble is over and Iruma gets together with his friends again. His friends were all worried about him though and Kalego-sensei came up to tell him he'd been reckless again. Iruma says he hasn't forgotten about what Kalego-sensei had said before at the home visit and that he had now finally understood what sensei meant. He was so used to danger due to almost always being in one himself that he never realized how bad such situations were until everyone else he cared about got affected. He adds that he gave it everything he's got even though he wasn't sure he'd even win because he wants to protect everyone and holding onto that ideal is part of his "desire".

I’m happy this arc helped some of them grow and show the growth of those who already have. Pretty cool.

Random screenshot but I just wanna direct your attention to fluffy Kalego-sensei who is being adorable right now. I cannot take him seriously when he’s like this and even when he’s angry, this form makes it look adorable.

Back to the story.

While all the mess is happening on the surface, Kiriwo-senpai has finally been found by the Six Fingers who are there to help him escape under the orders of Baal. The other escaping inmates are also in the area but still behind bars and Kiriwo-senpai tells them that he never planned to help them escape alongside him and never said he'd do such thing in the first place.

I kinda feel bad for them but they are also bad people so, eh.

Upon donning the same coat the Six Fingers' wear, one of the prisoners had the realization that unlike all of them there who are merely "bad", Kiriwo is actually "evil".

One of the Six Fingers asked why they couldn't just let the prisoners escape, too as it'll help in causing chaos and Kiriwo-senpai answers that seeing the despair the prisoners are gonna be in when they realize they'd never be let out despite going this far will be fun to see. Plus, they're not strong enough and will be caught again anyways.

I missed seeing Kiriwo-senpai’s evil hairstyle. It’s been a while. I guess this answers the question I had back in season 1: Kiriwo-senpai chose to be evil. Sad but I should’ve seen it coming.

Back on the surface, a parade starts and on the float are the heroes who saved Walter Park. While Iruma is properly mentioned, the owner, Rossevelt also shows off his son (Ronove does call him Legend-daddy as in the English word lol). The owner thanks Iruma for saving the park and calls him a hero.

They look alike except for the mustache and hair length. Anime genetics never fail. Does Legend-daddy also sing his own bgm?

Unbeknownst to our heroes, Kiriwo-senpai is around the corner watching the parade. He's surprised to find out that not only was Iruma also at Walter Park at this time but Iruma is also the one to defeat the beast. Instead of being angry at another evil plan foiled, Kiriwo-senpai says that this must be destiny and was happy to see Iruma. He was gonna walk out into the crowd but snaps out of this happy state by a call from Baal.

Senpai really blurs the line between love and hate cause he acts similarly when it comes to Iruma. Congrats to the fans of this ship for getting this scene and also, I still don’t know the ship name for them. How do I tag this?

Back to the phone call, Baal isn't happy that the park still stands. Walter Park is created to vent out demons' evil cycle after all and he has no need for that in his goals as he prefers that the demons go way beyond the evil cycle and just become ultimately evil. Unfortunately for him, the authorities are coming and they can't really do much else so he tells Kiriwo-senpai and the rest to escape already.

After being told to escape, Kiriwo-senpai says that this isn’t the end and declares that he and Iruma will meet again as they are destined enemies.

I guess in Iruma’s harem, he’s the “enemies to lovers” love interest lol.

Iruma looks at the direction where Kiriwo-senpai was but of course, he doesn’t see anything and he’s none the wiser.

Opera gives Iruma back his backpack at the float. As Iruma looks inside for his stuff, he finds the note his grandfather gave him of things he must do on his trip with the final one on the list being "Have fun with everyone!". Iruma looks at his smiling friends and thinks that even though a lot of scary things happened today, he still did have fun with them. Aww so cute!

Iruma gets reunited with his worried grandpa who goes to the hotel to check on him. Iruma says he couldn't go home early as Ronove's dad let them stay at the hotel as thanks for saving the park. Ronove’s dad adds that they are also Sullivan's students so he's happy to give them such things. Iruma tells his grandpa that he's happy and okay and that the teachers and Opera protected them. Grandpa Sullivan decided that the three adults would be given the job of protecting Iruma from now on (and Kalego-sensei felt a chill down his spine elsewhere in the hotel lol).

These two adults are the same. They probably won’t stop talking about their kids if you’re around them. Reminds me of FMA’s Maes Hughes (thought still makes me sad).

While the teachers are discussing information about the attacks, Kalego-sensei goes to his room to find his team on the bed making fun of the stuff he said earlier much to his annoyance. The boys said wanted to stay in the teachers' room as it's better than the room they got but Kalego-sensei quickly kicks them out.

The girls also get rewards and are allowed to get any clothes they wanted which made them happy. Ronove’s dad is pretty generous, huh? Like, I know these guys deserve it for all their hard work but the guy looks so happy that he’d probably still be nice to them even without all the trouble happening.

They are all also given an all-you-can-eat buffet. Iruma eats a ton of food obviously. Clara is having fun at the chocolate fountain thing and Ronove is trying to make Agares eat. Those two got close, huh? lol I wonder if Ronove’s doing this to try and make Agares unattractive or something. It’ll be cool if they became friends though with their very contrasting personalities and all.

While everyone is having fun inside, Iruma leaves without anyone else realizing except for Ameri who decides to follow. They end up at the rooftop by themselves with Ameri trying to calm herself down as she's thinking of romantic stuff as it’s just the two of them. Iruma then reminds Ameri of the question she asked him before about his goal and tells her he finally found one: he wants have fun with everyone. He's willing to change in order to be able to protect that ideal of his. Ameri is happy to see Iruma has grown.

Ameri decided that she also wants to give it her all for her own desires and ambitions. She then tries to tell Iruma something but sadly she gets cockblocked by Clara and Azz both appearing. Ameri gives up for now and tells Iruma to just go with his friends.

Before leaving, Iruma asks Ameri a question - the same thing she was going to ask him earlier! He asks if they could hang out sometimes but just the two of them and she passes out from this lol.

Congratulations to Iruma x Ameri fans for getting a scene like this, too. I also don’t know the ship name for them. Anyways, why is it just the senpais getting a moment with Iruma? Ameri has been getting a lot of moments, too and it’s making me wonder if she’s endgame.

lol also, Ameri is worried about the other female rivals not realizing there’s another threat somewhere else.

While all that teen drama is happening, both Romiere's dad and Iruma's grandpa are being interviewed on tv. The two men then tell everyone how their kids and those kids' friends are the heroes of Walter Park. Since Iruma's name had been specifically mentioned (with everyone knowing the heroes are "Iruma and friends"), there ends up being reporters outside the hotel wanting to see Iruma the next day. Iruma, of course, doesn't like this popularity. With the thought that there may also be reporters waiting at his home, Clara offers to let Iruma stay at her house.

Oooh... will we finally get Iruma x Clara and Iruma x Azz moments as well? Hehehe

There's something new in the ED video by the way! This used to be for Kuromu but now it’s for these boys! Cute!

---

I’m guessing this is the end of this arc? I wonder what the last one will be since we only have like, what, 6 episodes more? What kind of arc will it be, I wonder cause this one had battles.

Okay, the end where the heroes are mentioned to be “Iruma and friends”, I’m happy and surprised that none of the others were bothered by this at all. No one complained about why Iruma is the only one specifically named. It didn’t cause a fight between the entire group unlike what would’ve happened if this was any other story. I get why Iruma got proper credit as he is the one to end the incident and saved everyone around from being fried but his friends did a lot of work, too and it’d have been better if they were all credited properly in the news. None of them were mad though and are happy that they won because they did their best.

Ronove calling his dad “Legend-daddy” will never not be cute and funny to me. His dad, despite being rich enough to own this entire park, isn’t an annoying, arrogant asshole and I like that. I’m happy that most characters in this show subvert my expectations and they make me like them more.

I’m sorry if I don’t tag ships in my mairuma posts but I don’t know any of the series’ ship names lol. Speaking of ships, as I mentioned before, Ameri’s been getting a lot of moments with Iruma or focus on her growing feelings for Iruma. Kiriwo-senpai only showed up a bit in this arc and got a bit for himself, too. Kuromu and Clara only had a bit when Iruma went evil cycle and I wonder if they’d get more, too. I personally ship him with Azz so I wish they’d gets some moments as well. Eiko gets hers mostly on the “Interval” segments.

So... is it possible to have a mairuma dating sim or not? Look at how many routes are available! XD

Anyways, focus next time is on Clara’s family probably with Iruma spending time there. I expect another Valac Family musical! XD

Thanks for reading!

[nightowlfandom]

Shower Time- Taehyung Imagine.

REQUEST FROM PROMPT LIST- RIGHT HERE!

Leggo!

...

You laid your head on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of each of his breaths. You listened to the patter of the rain falling against the window. Taehyung’s arms were wrapped around your body, holding you close to him. You could tell he was asleep because of his steady breathing. Well of course he should have been sleeping, after the night you two spent together you would have been surprised if he wasn’t tried.

You should have been asleep too, but you took a while to shut down sometimes. Especially when nights like tonight took place. The cold air brushed against your bare skin, sending somewhat of a shiver down your spine. Your half of the covers were basically bunched up, barely covering you at all. You liked the cold air so you didn’t mind. 

Careful not to wake Taehyung you shimmied out of his grasp and sat up. You had never really gotten over how nice his apartment was, it fit his personality to a tee. You gazed out the window with content, enjoying the soothing rain sounds. It wasn’t thundering to your surprise. Deciding you didn’t just wanna sit around, you quietly stood up onto your feet and walked across the room. You walked into the bathroom flickering on the light, stepping over your discarded bra in the process.

Thank god there wasn’t that super loud horrible fan noise that most apartments had. You stared in the mirror chuckling under your breath. You took note of the tiny bruise like marks trailing up your right shoulder. Taehyung always did had a thing for marks, especially when it came to you. Without another word or thought you went towards the shower. 

The water was mildly scadling, but you didn’t mind. You preferred hot showers anyways. You ducked your head under the water, allowing your face and hair to get wet. It was relaxing, just hearing the running shower and nothing else as you cleansed your body. You ran your fingers through your wet hair, trying to get annd the tangles out. You closed your eyes and hummed to yourself. However, you weren’t alone.

Taehyung awoke just as you turned the shower on, he couldn’t fight the urge to join you. 

You opened your eyes after a while. You were facing the shower head so you couldn’t see behind you, but you did however feel familiar arms wrap around your waist. 

“You couldn’t have waited for me?”

You held back a smile, rolling your eyes a little. “Maybe.”

“Hm...need some help?” he moved your hair behind your ear to kiss your temple. You turned to face him. His hair stuck to his forehead from the water hitting his face. His eyes were hooded with sleep, he was obviously still a little tired. Taehyung trapped you between him and the wall by putting his arms on either side of the wall behind you. 

“You could wash my hair if it isn’t too much trouble.” you looked up shyly. Taehyung’s face brightened up. He loved washing your hair when you’d let him. He always wondered why you had to get separate hair care products from him but he liked knowing he could get you whatever you needed when you needed it.

Taehyung had picked up your shampoo from one of the shower trays. He had made the mistake of accidentally using his own once, he never heard the end of it when you were complaining about your hair being dried out every day

“Turn around.” Taehyung pours some of your shampoo into his hand. You turned away from him and instantly felt the pads of his fingers against your head. You tilted your head back, closing your eyes as his fingers ran through your hair. 

You just stood there while Taehyung continued to wash and condition your hair. He even helped you clean your back in the process.

“All clean.” he joked, making you chuckle. You turned back around and wrapped your arms around his neck. Taehyung kissed your lips, running his hands up your slippery body. The way his hands ran through your wet hair and slid down every crevice on your body sent a familiar feeling through your core. Taehyung pulled away, biting his bottom lip. His eyes were hooded with something you couldn’t read, you were too busy watching stray water drops drip from his eyelashes onto his cheek. 

You almost didn’t register his arms hooking around your thighs and lifting you up. You wrapped your legs around his lips to stay upright as he held you against the shower wall. Taehyung kissed your neck, running his tongue over each mark and bruise he had previously created. You tilted your head back and ran your hands through hair, allowing shaky breaths to leave your mouth. You felt his member harden, just barely teasing your slit.

Taehyung laughed as your arms tightened around him. 

“Don’t tease me.” you whined. “It’s not fair.”

“Hm, but it’s so fun.” he replied, leaving a whole new trail of marks along the crook of your neck. “Shall we dry off and...” he chuckled again when he didn’t finish his sentence.

With another laugh, you allowed Taehyung to shut the water off and take you out of the shower and back to his bedroom.

...

[hyenasnake]

Like Real People Do

Dumb Idea I had, please ignore me

•

September 7th, 1191 A.D, Apollonia, Israel

Gabriel was paralyzed. An arrow had pierced his spinal cord, rendering him completely immobile and unable to snap his fingers to perform the miracle needed to get up. So now he lay trapped in his own body and slowly discorporating in a mass grave, surrounded by dead human soldiers. Two feet of dirt had been thrown over the bodies, leaving little air trapped in the cavity. Fortunately, Gabriel didn’t need to breathe but the smell of rot and bodily fluids was still overwhelming

He heard footsteps above him overground alongside the sounds of the bugs that crawled over and into dead bodies. The footsteps stopped right above him and he heard someone slump to the ground and start scratching at the dirt right above his face, digging faster than any human could. The dirt started caving in and falling on Gabriel’s face. He closed his violet eyes. Eventually, He felt cool air hit his face and he looked up through the hole. An all-too familiar face stared back at him, pale and covered with boils and with bright blue eyes that gleamed mischievously. 

“Well, well, well. Look what I found.” Beelzebub chuckled. “Lookszzzz like you could uszzzze a hand, Archangel.” The demon prince clicked their fingers, banishing the layer of dirt directly above the Archangel’s body. They pulled his limp corporation out of the hole before shoving him to the side and bringing the top layer back to where it had been. Beelzebub grabbed a black Niqab that they had cast aside and put it over their head.  “It coverszzz the boils.” They answered the judgmental stare that they got from Gabriel. Next, the prince of hell picked up their estranged husband in a manner that would one day come to be known as “bridal style” and carried him to the small hovel they stayed in on the outskirts of Apollonia. 

The demon laid the angel down on his stomach on the cot in the side of the room and took off their Niqab. True to their demonic nature, Beelzebub ripped the arrowhead out of his back without warning, earning a scream from Gabriel that was muffled by his mouth, which was still paralyzed shut, and the straw he laid on. Beelzebub rolled their eyes and waved a hand over his wound, which now didn’t exist. Spinal cord was no longer severed and nerves and tendons were now back in the places that they should be and working properly. 

Able to move again, Gabriel shot up, taking in a large gasp of air. He whirled to face Beelzebub and slumped against the back of the wall. “Thank you.” He coughed. “Don’t thank me, wank wingszzzz. It’szzzz not like I waszzzz planning to dig you up and szzzzave your szzzzzorry azz. I waszzzzz actually planning on grave robbing but sensed your szzzzztupid aura and had to szzzee if it waszzzz really you.” Beelzebub rolled their eyes.  “I mean, it haszzzz been, what? Twenty yearszzz?” Gabriel could swear he saw a light blush creeping alongside the demon’s cheeks. It had been a while since the estranged couple had seen one another.  “Did you miss me, Bee?” He teased. His estranged spouse’s face grew red and more boils sprang up along their jaw.  “I’d watch your mouth if I were you, Archangel. I can put you back in the ground juszzzt aszzz easzzzzily as I pulled you out.” They growled, hackles raised. Gabriel chuckled and planted a kiss on their cheek. “I love you too.” He pushed a lock of hair behind their ear.  “Szzzzhut your szzzztupid mouth and kiszzz me.” The demon pulled the angel into a heated kiss that Gabriel all but melted into. Beelzebub’s lips tasted sweet and it made his head spin. “You’ve been drinking mead?” He cocked an eyebrow. “It’szzzzz actually good. Szzzzzomething you’d know nothing about.” They huffed. “It’s sweet. Like you used to be.”  “Quiet. Kiszzz me like they do.” Beelzebub snapped and pulled Gabriel into another feverish kiss, the first of many that night. 

[dgennk]

Undertale: Saving Dreemurrs - Halloween

NOTICE: [I just wanted to write something and post it, to get back into writing. I’m working on an AU for Undertale, cause that’s captured my heart since January, and I just wanted to get my toe wet on something silly. Why Halloween? Cause I had some white Reese’s when I was thinking this up. Maybe I’ll rewrite it for Halloween this year? Anyway, thank you for reading, any constructive criticism would be helpful.]  Friday October 31st, Halloween. 

Within the Underground, this date held no special worth, just another day to live for the next. On the surface however, this date marked a special occasion. As the sun would set, children and adults alike would leave their homes, adorned in costumes for one goal. 

Sugar rush inducing, cavity spawning, sweet candy. 

Sour, bitter, tooth-rotting sweet. Candies and confections were prepared and bought for costumed humans of the night.

Today this tradition held strong, especially with the inclusion of monsters that once called the Underground their home.

This could be merrily seen within the Dreemurr abode, as its children returned from hours of trick-or-treating. Four children scrambled into HOME with pillow cases filled to bursting with sugary delights.

“Your outerwear, children!” their trailing guardian, Toriel, reminds as she shuts the door behind her. 

“Yes mom!” “Got it!” and “Yes, Ms. Toriel!” choired the children, closely followed with the shuffle of clothing. Scarves and jackets, tossed at the basket beside the second entryway, the act hardly slowed their rush.

With a skip into the foyer, Frisk kicks off his final boot and breaks for the right hall. “Last in trades free!”

“Huh?” Asriel gasps while MK lets out an indignant ‘Dood!’ Only for them to be left behind by the other human child.

Chara cackles, their foam forked tail wiping as they turned the corner.

The two boys scramble to give chase, neither willing to part with their treasured trove.

Toriel hummed as she hung her snaily shawl a step from the door. A light thud had her eyes flutter but the bleat that proceeded drew a knowing smile. “Perhaps,” she muses, “I should unveil it a tad earlier.” Her smile grew. 

“That wasn’t fair,” mumbled Asriel, sitting at the center circle mat, sack of candy buried in his lap. He rubbed his snout, slightly bruised from his fumble.

“Come on dude, don’t be sore,” Mk laughed beside him, his candy sack untied from his chest.  “Your mom’s dress was just too long!”

“I needed it for my costume!” proclaimed the prince fervently. He threw his arms around his bag and dug his face deep. It worked in tandem with his wide-brim green hat to obscure his downcast look. “And, it’s a robe, not a dress.” 

“But like,” MK began, a brow risen with a perplexed twist of the snout. “Could have made it shorter.”

“That,” chimed Chara with a playful smile, reclined on the far right bed. “Wouldn’t be authentic.”

A groan escaped the hidden boss monster. “Chara, please stop teasing.”

The jester’s smile grew. “Okay, Az.” Bells jingled with their chuckle. 

Frisk tapped his painted chin in thought, face turned up for the starry-blue ceiling. He hummed and nodded then headed for the down prince. “I change my mind,” he leans down, while reaching a blue hand into his right pocket.

“Hm? Frisk?” The prince peered up.

“Here,” The child placed a treat on Asriel’s bag. A blackish ball, about the size of a doughnut hole, with ovid sprinkles topped on its shell. It was inside a clear twist wrapper, no labels to be seen.

“Where did we get those?” Chara mumbled aloud, with a lean to peer over.

A small smile came over Asriel’s mostly shaded visage as he accepted the gift. “Thanks Frisk.” He opened the wrapping, it was hard and didn’t smell much like anything. He still appreciated it all the same. He slipped it between his teeth and took a small crunch to it.

His reaction was a bit of a surprise to the others watching. 

Chara paused to stare, wide-eyed. Their brother had taken to the candy well. No, that was an understatement. The boss monster moaned in delight, holding his cheeks as whatever piece of confectionery in his mouth seemed to overload his senses. She couldn’t help but twist her head at Frisk, only to stare, numb from his expression. His eyes gleamed scarlet in the shadow of his hair, a telling smile etched onto his face. “... Frisk?”

“Azz, dood,” MK calls, “WHAT is that?”

The boss monster only groaned before turning his head with a bob. “Oh,” he muttered lightly, his voice muffled somewhat. “It's greht, like moh’s pie, but,” he pauses to savor the taste on his tongue. “It's tahfy!”

“Eh?”

“Hey Asriel!” the rubber-clad Dreemurr smiled wider. “You can have more if you want!!” 

“Critical hit!” Chara grunted.

“You ghot more?!” Asriel bursts to his feet, his own candy forgotten to the floor. 

Hook. The thin smile on Frisk’s face had blossomed into a face-splitting grin. “Yeah, a dozen if you wanna trade!”

“Oh,” pauses Asriel, “Righht! Uhm… Do you have sohmethhing in mihnd?”

Line! “Well…” he draws it out before clicking his teeth. “How many of those big Reese's do you have?!”

DEVIL! Chara screams internally.

“Oh, those,” Asriel smiles brightly. “Papyrus and Undyne were giving out the really big stuff, they gave me 5. I think they were… jumbo?” he trailed, unsure and flustered. He hadn’t really read the packages at the time. He perked quick though, beaming. “You can have them! If you want?”

“Yes! Yeah!!” Frisk chirps while pulling a white bag from his candy sack. With palpable eagerness he presents it forward to the prince, only for both to stumble. A blur swooped between and snatched it, leaving the two at a loss!

Chara’s glower twinkled, standing high on the bed parallel to the other. “You sneak!” she accuses. “No one gave us these on our route! Where did you get them?”

Frisk’s brows pulled down with his angry expression. “You can’t take my trade candy! Give it back!”

“You had these since the start, didn’t you!?” Chara ignored Frisk’s demand and instead placed the bag behind their back, their other hand pointed at the miffed blue munchkin.

“N-No I didn’t!” protested Frisk.

“You’re a bad liar!” She giggled angrily in retort.

“Come on guys!” MK yawned at them. “Let’s just start eating candy already!”

Frisk whips his hand out to point at Chara, squinted eyes burning red hot, “Not until Chara lets me get my Jumbo Recess!”

“Your Jumbo Recess?!” Chara repeated with a haughty laugh. “You knew I was going to trade for them! I always trade with Asriel!”

Now the youngest Dreemur pulls back, arms crossed over their chestplate. “I didn’t forget! I got something for you too!” he ends in a huff.

“Wait, what?” blinked Chara.

“I was gonna trade for your Rice Krispie Treats with this!” he finds and reaches into his candy-sack. After a shuffle he takes a deeper reach inside and withdraws an oval shaped treat, just a few inches shorter than his face, covered in a clear wrinkled wrapping.

Chara was speechless, arms falling slack.

“Where did you get that giant egg! Is that chocolate?!” Mk was right by it, looking over the super-sized egg thing.

“I got it from the store,” Frisk started with a matter-of-fact tone. “It was pretty hollow but mom helped me put cream inside, so it’s like those egg things you get from dad.”

“Cadbury... Eggs.” Chara slowly corrects. Realization struck her brain. Frisk and mom had made this for them. 

Her heart swelled in the chest, rosy cheeks now venetian despite the grey paint. “Hey…” She couldn’t look Frisk in the eyes. “Sorry.”

“Trade this for your Rice Krispies and we good!” the boy gave a thumbs up.

“Sheesh,” Chara smiled, and reached for the bag she dropped. “I get it, I get it.” She didn’t meet a paper bag, instead her hands landed upon something fuzzy. She blinked and looked down.

Asriel was draped over his bed. Where the bag once was, his head was now. His green hat now on the floor, forgotten. He was chewing groggily, half-lidded eyes gazing at nothing in particular while a large mass of stringy, sticky taffy laid within his maw. Wrappers with nothing inside laid all over the bed. The bag was on the floor now, torn open.  

Frisk grinned.

MK laughed.

Chara groans.

“...Uh?” Asriel tried to speak, however, the tough candy made it embarrassingly difficult.

“Hey dude!” Mk, popped in front of Frisk excitingly. “You got something big you can trade me?!”

“Fufufu!” The child laughs in the manner of a hero. He turned to Chara and handed them the monster of a creme egg. Then, he turned around and walked to his sack, shrouding it from prying eyes.

MK waited with a held breath as the human slowly rose, his arms held before him but close to hide what laid in his hands. 

“Are you ready for this?” Frisk asked anonymously. He didn’t need to look back, he could feel the intensity of MK’s nods. He could hear the whisper of their draft. “Then get ready…

For the dragon!!”

“YOOOOOO!” Frisk had unveiled a stupidly thick gummy in the crude shape of a dragon head, about the size of, again, Frisk’s face.

“Where did you get these?” Chara balked.

Frisk closed eyes glinted and presented the gummy head with one hand and pointed at the star-struck monster. “For your ring pops, I’ll give you this! Deal?”

MK had like 8 of those. 

“Deal!”

With the transaction concluded, Frisk happily handed the massive wyrm head to the monster who lifted it with his maw alone.

“Fris-” Before Chara could repeat her question, a knock came at the door, drawing all the children’s attention.

A laugh came as the door knob was turned. “I’m sorry to interrupt in on the fun-oh!” Toriel paused, seeing the state of the four. “I can see you’ve already begun trading. Well, I have to ask you to finish your candy for the time being.”

“Uh?” MK whines, gummy the size of a fist in his mouth. “Ow cooh?”

She couldn’t help her excitement. “Well, It was for the party later this evening, but I had so many ingredients I made a second chocolate pumpkin and snail pie!” she clapped. “I thought we could share that between ourselves before the rest arrive.” 

The looks on Chara and Asriel’s faces would always confuse Frisk. Pumpkin and chocolate sounded good but they had a feeling there would be more snail out of the three.

“Hael?” MK questioned. 

Asriel was first on his feet this time, a blur of rainbow met everyone in the room as he dashed out first.

“H-Hey! Wait Asriel!” Chara leapt after them. And MK soon followed after, though with far less enthusiasm than before. This left Toriel and Frisk.

The Boss Monster could only be amused by her child’s expression. She reaches out her hand. “Do not worry,” she gave a wink. “I had made a slice with no snails for yourself.”

And with that Frisk beams, racing for their mother and gripping her hand tight. They were all-but dragging her out now, a toothy smile on their face.

Toriel laughed, “my, my.” And closed the door behind them, to go enjoy a treat with her children.

[hell-bound-stories]

Red hair: Black glasses

The ride home was painfully quiet. The radio was turned down, barely audible, and Heather kept her mouth shut. Her eyes locked on the road and hands literally iced to the wheel. She knew what happened, she was there, but she didn’t understand any of it, or how to begin to process it. All Heather really wanted to do was scream and punch something. They only lived about 10 minutes away from the school, but the drive home felt like hours.

Spencer also kept quiet, not even thinking of saying anything in fear of making Heather more upset. His black glasses glued out the window, watching the world pass by as a million and one thoughts raced through his mind. At the forefront of his thoughts was Sydney. Was she ok? What was she thinking? Was Azz ok? Did she hate him? Would he see her tomorrow? All those questions and more plagued his mind. Spencer had been picking and scratching at the skin on his hands since they got in the truck. An awful uncontrollable habit. Spencer was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts temporarily, realizing they had pulled up to the drive way of their shared home.

It was a nice sizable home inside an equally nice and sizable neighborhood. It was the local “rich” neighborhood, and Spencer really didn’t like it. It had a simple grassy front yard, clearly taken care of weekly by landscapers. The house itself matched the style of the houses around it, simple wood paneling with bricks/rocks. Heather's old beat up truck felt so out of place parked in the nice driveway. They were both sure the neighbors hated them just based off her truck.

The both silently grabbed their bags and got out of the car. Heather unlocked the front door, held it open for Spencer, and closed it behind him. Once the door was closed Spencer didn’t even have time to set his bag down before he was thrown into a forced, but welcome hug. 

“I'm sorry” Heather said, her voice laid with grief. Spencer didn’t know what he expected, but this wasn’t it.

“Its o-” He started

“No it's not, it's not ok” Heather cut him off quickly, “I scared you, I know I did. I got so angry, I started a fight, I froze some dude's car” every word was spoken with full sorrow.

“Its okay” Spencer finished, pulling away from the warm hug, “though I think that was the principles car”

“Shit” They both shared a small laugh, making their way to the dining room table to set their things down and start to unwind. Spencer didn’t like prying into other business, but he had to know this time.

“What happened?” He was scared of every possible answer.

“I don’t know” Heather seemed ashamed of herself, “Something about that demon just….rubbed me the wrong way, lets just say that” She struggled to find the right words to explain what she was thinking. She didn’t even understand what she felt about him.

Spencer didn’t understand. He didn’t know Azz well, but from what he’d seen they seemed practically harmless, and Azz was good friends with Sydney. That had to mean something, right?

“Something about him just makes me mad”, Heather continued.

“Ahem..” Spencer chimed in.

“What?” Heather hadn’t caught on.

“Them” 

“........Something about them just makes me mad” She corrected, “really mad” 

“But why?” Spencer really didn’t understand. How could anyone be mad at a snail loving dork? By now Spencer had pulled out books from his bag needed for tonight's homework, and set them on the table. 

“I don’t know, I just hate them”

“Hate them??” This wouldn’t fly, “You don’t even know them!” 

“I don’t need to know them to know I hate them” Heather said matter of factly. 

“You don’t even know their name!” Spencer protested.

“Yes I do” She had to think for a second, “Sam” 

“Azz” Spencer groaned, “and what about Sydney? Azz is her guardian”

“Ugh her” Heather scoffed, “What’s a girl like her doing with a demon like that?” 

“Oh? A girl like her?” Spencer lightly teased.

“Shut up” The smallest blush creeped on her face.

“Either way Azz is hers, they can’t be that bad if they are a guardian” Spencer knew Azz wasn’t bad, and he wasn’t going to let Heather judge Azz based on basically nothing. That wasn’t fair.

“Mmm well..” Heather paused, She knew Spencer was right, kind of. Guardian demons weren’t the newest thing. Satan has been trying to give Hell a new image for a while. Everyone knew that the qualifications were tight. They didn’t let any demon on the surface, you had to pass a strict set of rules and tests. The process was long, ruling out any demon that was “too dangerous” for the surface. If Azz was one of the lucky few, then technically they weren’t bad, but technically not evil wasn’t good enough for Heather.

“I still don’t like them” Every fiber of Heather’s being told her not to trust Azz. Something told her Azz was dangerous and she didn’t know what, but she felt the need to trust it. Seeing them just made her uncontrollably pissed.

By now both of them had their shoes off, and Spencer started work on tonight's homework. Heather looked at her phone, checking the time.

“Oh shit”

“What?” 

“Go change!” 

“Uuuuggggggghhh” Spencer though she had forgotten, “do I really have to?”

“Yes” She gave him a soft pat on the back, “It's been too long, you need a break”

“Mmm fine” He knew she was right. Spencer went upstairs to his room to change into something more breathable. While alone in his room he drifted back into his thoughts.

Spencer had never seen Heather so mad. He knew she had ice powers, and that she’s a decent fighter. Heather can stand her own against a couple guys bigger than her, even without her powers. However Spencer had this lingering feeling that what he saw threw his helpless black glasses wasn’t Heather. He saw an angry, scary, person, who wanted nothing more than to hurt Azz, who wasn’t even fighting back. Spencer didn’t know who he saw, and he definitely didn’t like it.

Spencer made his way back downstairs, now wearing a large oversized hoodie. Breathable? Yes. Five sizes too big? Definitely. Comfortable? Debatable. He found Heather sitting on the couch, watching tv.

“Hey don't you have homework?”

Heather gave him a look, “.....i'm an angle” 

Spencer rolled his eyes, “You’re such a bad role model” he joked. 

“Hey i'm not supposed to be a role model” she laughed, “besides, school is the last thing I need to ‘model’ for you” 

“True, true” They both knew Spencer easily stood his own when it came to school work.

Spencer went back to work at the dining room table. He always preferred to do his school work down stairs. His room was small, and while sometimes that was nice, it wasn’t needed when working.

Heather was left alone with her own thoughts while watching tv, tossing a small snow ball between her hands. She couldn’t stop thinking about the fight. She didn’t understand what she felt. She didn’t feel like herself at that moment. Heather was the most taken back by the sheer power she had. Most she’d ever been able to make before with her power was a simple snow ball and freezing some things. She was always told she’d never have strong powers, but today clearly proved otherwise. The outburst was completely uncontrolled, and that scared her. Heather didn’t even know if she would be able to do that again. Seeing Azz brought out the most primal rage inside her, and she didn’t know why or how she felt about that. 

About an hour later Spencer was done with his work. He joined her on the couch, watching some stupid show about a depressed horse. After a while Heather piped up.

“What do you want for dinner?”

“Uuuhhh” Spencer hated questions like this, “I don't know, you pick”

“Well I don't really care, so you pick” She responded.

It took them over 50 minutes to decide on pizza.

Once the pizza came Spencer was reminded with a harsh reality. The reality that tomorrow would eventually come, and one question began to burn in his mind. 

He was hesitant, but he had to ask,“Hey Heather?”

“Yeah?” She grabbed a slice

“What are you going to do at school tomorrow?”

“Uuuhh” Her pizza slice froze instantly. 

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Iruma-kun 13 - 14 | Somali 1 | Magia Record 1 | BnHA 75 | Eizouken 1 | Idolish7 s2 1

New season...incoming!

Iruma-kun 13

How did Iruma even notice that collar? Geesh, that kid is perceptive…

This “spitting blood” joke is getting old already…

*Kiriwo starts his machine* - Why do I get the feeling something bad’s about to happen…?

Could you possibly call this “rank is the most important thing” a study of class consciousness, to throw some of Anime Feminist’s words? Or maybe this is a fantasy version of technology and it’s extolling the virtues of technology advancement?! *eyes sparkle*

Can Iruma join Kiriwo already? Please?!

Aw, dear darling! (<- I’m not sure if I’ve said that a lot in these notes, but I say that when I get the warm fuzzies and wanna protect a character…basically, platonic love, I guess…? Oh, “moe instinct” - that’s the words I’m looking for.) Iruma, go and live your best life, okay?

Thank you, story! Even though I knew it was being foreshadowed so heavily by being the focus of basically 24 minutes of this show’s runtime (= about 1 ep), I thank you from the bottom of my heart that Iruma went to the right Battler.

Wait, so Ameri is actually Iruma’s senpai by one year?! Hmm? I never realised that and I read some spoilers!

I like this new chibi animation style! Yay!

I never noticed this until now, but Kiriwo has one big horn and one little one.

I think the title, aside from the pronunciation of “Thirteen Dinner”, is meant to mean “The Thirteen Counts’ Gathering” (or some other high rank) or something of the sort. Update: So I checked and the character used, kanmuri/kan, is used to mean “crown” or someone who wears a crown, i.e. a peerless person, so it would be appropriate to translate that using the term for a high rank which is presumably going to be stated in the segment itself.

Turns out Babel…is just makaitou (the demon world tower). I don’t think it’s really Babylonian in any strict sense.

Depending on where you live, the 665th floor could count as the 666th or…well, the 665th. I know in Japanese, the word for the floor on the ground is ikkai (first floor)…I’m not going to tell you what I know it as though…that would reveal my location outside cyberspace, no?

According to the katakana, the guy’s name is Beruzebyuto (hence the translation as “Beelzebuth”). Beelzebub is the Lord of the Flies and a quick google tells me Beelzebul (close enough) was apparently an alternate spelling for him (or something like that…?). Patron demon of gluttony.

Astaroth, also a demon (king of rot, I think it was from Blue Exorcist)…interestingly, Beelzebub, Lucifer and Astaroth make up an unholy trio and all of them were referred to by a dude called...Solomon (which does kinda sound like “Sullivan”, if you think about it). There’s the connection between these guys…I like his top, too.

Asmodeus, patron demon of lust. We already knew that demon was represented through Azz-Azz, but now you see a spoiler I’ve been hiding for a while – Azz’s mother.

Amaimon…uh, I don’t remember what kind of demon he is in the demonic canon but I know him from Blue Exorcist.

Behemoth…?

Ooh, Ameri’s father is smokin’ hot! (Dangit, I do not want DILFs…) Azazel, a fallen angel and apparently personification of uncleanliness(…?)

Belial and (Lady) Leviathan, which we already knew existed from initial namedrops.

Who’s Baal? Even I have no idea…Update: Apparently he’s a Middle Eastern equivalent to Zeus, which explains his thunder allegiance.

Paimon kinda looks like Chaika, LOL.

LOL, “lifehack” is certainly the right word for it, Sullivan.

LOL, Belial is so short!

Although it’s kind of awkward to not see Lady Levi take a position of power for herself, it’s nice to see she has spirit!

Aw, this is cute. In much the same way I wanted Iruma to join the magical apparatus Battler, I want Sullivan to be Demon King.

Is Opera perhaps related to Ameri somehow…?

Somali 1

I was hoping to get to Plunderer, but got carried away writing another post and then lost the ability to watch both episode 1 and 2 ahead of schedule. So Somali is the new start of the season, but the last relic of the fact Plunderer was meant to start my season (outside ID: Invaded’s advance premiere) is the visual I have for this season. (Oh yeah, one of the reasons I’m supporting this – aside from it being a mid-ranker on my hype list – is that I heard a French animator, a friend of Thomas Romain, is getting his big start here.)  

“Dad.” – Oh, f***. I have myself an Usagi Drop. I knew I was going to get something of the sort going into this show, but…Usagi Drop’s experiences (or rather, watching the anime knowing the manga has that ending) have left their mark. Not to mention Somali (as this girl will come to be known) has Latina eyes, which annoys me even more since I dropped that on the basis of being scarred by Usagi Drop.

I’m wondering what Crunchyroll was thinking when they decided to coproduce this – sure, it’s probably quite cute and wholesome, but I’m far from the target audience. Did they think, “Is this what Western audiences will like?” Sure, it would hit a niche that likes this surrogate father/daughter stuff, but I don’t think it’s for me (and I’ve been thinking that all through the OP). I’ll give it a bit more to wow me, but it’s doing pretty terrible so far (because note all other anime of this particular reputation I’m more on the “neutral” side than the “like” one). Somali’s voice is probably the biggest factor – it sounds like an adult woman’s voice got pitch-shifted to attempt to be a child, rather than an actual child.

How can this golem talk about sight when he doesn’t even have eyes??? (Kinda like Juzo from NGL.)

Alright, that’s it. I can see when you’re trying to bait me with supposedly “cute” children, show. You’re gone.

Okay, since I have time and the reviews say otherwise, I’m trying again. I don’t expect to be sold to this though…

Was it just me or was there a reduced frame rate when Somali’s cape was the only thing in the frame…?

For some reason the subbers put “Why?” when the word was actually “What?”, which is a bit silly to be honest with you. (Nande?/Doushite? vs. Nani?...it’s kind of similar-sounding, but the sound is distinctly different.)

Still dropping this show. I just have another episode to add to my list now.

Magia Record 1

I heard there’s no Urobutcher this time around, but the first time I encountered the Urobutcher (in ConRevo) he made a particularly weird-feeling (in the context of the show) episode, so…uh…let’s say the Urobutcher is only as good as the material he writes, and leave it at that. Anyways, this topped my list – even before ID: Invaded came to hunt down that top position – so this better be good.

Um, am I just imagining it, or is that Sayaka and Hitomi discussing magical girls (or Madoka?) over the top of Iroha (I know that’s her name already from the synopses floating around the ‘net) and her fellow magical girls fighting?

Letterboxing? Now there’s something I thought I’d never see in Madoka Magica, ever.

One of the books was on organic recipes.

The teacher talks a tad too fast – I can understand what she’s saying, but it’s like she operates on x1.5 speed compared to the x1 speed of everything else…

“Nakama – because we can do it” – I wonder if that will mean something later…? In Madoka Magica, strange details always mean something.

“The only good witch is a dead one!” “Speech is silver, silence is golden.”– The tiny English isn’t particularly subtle, is it?

Uwasa = rumour.

Takarazaki, huh? I’ll make a note of that.

Who’s Ui?

According to the credits, I assume the blue spear girl is Nanami Yachiyo.

This is a respectable re-entry into a universe which I left not too long ago (in 2017). I’m definitely going to be able to stick with it for a season or however long it lasts.

BnHA 75

All this talk about a database…reminds me of the Quirk I designed for the wiki (also called “Database”). I conceived it in 2015, but I don’t remember who was meant to use it before I retrofitted it to fit the BnHA universe. Update: Welp, I found the document. The superpower Database (which was retrofitted to be a Quirk) is for one Itsuki Hatano.

“One blow to the top of the head!”

Iruma-kun 14

(Note: Some notes may be missing because I was busy multitasking while watching this episode.)

Go, Iruma! Live your best life!

Note “speak of the devil” isn’t how it’s said in Japanese. It sounds something like “whisper a rumour and it will come back to you” based on what I heard Kiriwo say (since I heard the word uwasa in there). Update: Apparently the phrase is uwasa wo sureba… (if you spead a rumour…) and then you cut the saying off to finish the rest of the sentence, just like you would in English.

You can’t even see a substantial part of Iruma’s hair when that demon on the phone (<-I know who it is, because I read spoilers, but I’ll keep quiet on that front!) yells for the first time.  

Makura (demon pillow) has that demon pun going on.

Ooh, Kiriwo-senpai is actully kinda sexy with his hair up like that…not that I know the first thing about sex appeal…

So is the ED about the Battler Party, in a sense?

Eizouken 1

I picked this show up because of the rave reviews it was getting.

Very Future Boy Conan, that.

…what? That OP was trippy. Then again, I didn’t mind ConRevo and that was trippy…this negative feeling is probably because I don’t know much about Masaki Yuasa’s quirks, I guess.

Why do people not translate “Eizouken”???? It means “video research club”.

The back is a good spot to sit in a theatre for anime. Why do I know this? I sit in the back of my anime club all the time, that’s why!

“Are those MiBs?” – I laughed pretty hard at that one sentence.

Why does this strawberry milk seem to be a parallel to the milk Asakusa promised Kanamori? (P.S. Asakusa is in Tokyo, IIRC.) Update: Mizusaki means “on top of water” if I understood the kanji right and Kanamori, with the right combo of characters, can mean “forest of gold”...which makes a lot of sense, considering how gold is equated with wealth and currency. Also, here’s proof Asakusa is in Tokyo...not to mention it’s the place from Sarazanmai! Meanwhile, I was thinking there was some sort of anime-related significance to the name, but I was thinking of Asagaya.  Update 2: Mizusaki actually means “water peninsula”. Sorry, wrong saki.

I know there’s a chase scene at the end of this ep, thanks to reading reviews. I want to be wowed by it, which is why I’m (metaphorically) holding my breath.

I like how Asakusa and Mizusaki are bouncing around ideas. That really brings the process to life.

Long skirts and wind but no sexualisation. That’s a good sign!

Whoa, that scene with the comets was AWESOME! I want more!

Idolish7 s2 1

Back with some good boys one season too early…let’s have some fun while these simulcasters can get this stuff fast!

Oh no! (<- self-censored) Nagi’s stupid accent is back! *yells incoherently for a second*

I like the little sound effects that happened whe Nagi’s finger moved around (to suggest “magic”).

I think the joke was something to do with the word gera (?). I don’t quite get it myself.

Misuta- Shimooka, LOL. I love how this s2 isn’t doing any hand-holding, though! I half-expect a flashback to appear and it never does.

Yamato, how are you so-*crying and Yatta! can be heard in the background*Okay, nevvvvvvvvvver mind…

I remember mistakenly saying that Nishiyama was part of Idolish7 (since I looked through some of my old notes lately). Nishiyama is part of ZOOL, so now…I’m not wrong anymore…(That’s not quite relevant to the random announcement of Re:Vale showing up, but it’s on my mind now.)

Hmm…Yamato’s thoughts on Re:Vale…I’ll keep an eye on him.

I think people like Tamaki because he treats them like he would his little sister…a true gentleman. Or maybe that’s all in my head? I haven’t been in the fandom properly, y’know.

This switch to occasional chibi antics…I’m not sure I like it…

Ohmyglob! Another boy to add to my growing list of husbandos! *points at Yuki* I knew he existed, but I haven’t had a proper chance to have a reaction to him ever since I started really “having a thing” for long-haired guys.

Re:Vale are like a comic act (manzai).

Momo has pink nail polish…I just noticed. Update: It’s probably more red than pink.

“Chan-momo” appears to be a variety of modern slang similar to Pig Latin. Apparently Gen from Dr Stone uses it as well.

Yuki has these cute little diamond earrings and Momo has studs. I’ve also never noticed this until now. (I, myself, can’t wear anything past clip-ons because I have a genetic quirk that makes it annoying to get my ears pierced, called beta thalassemia, so I can only fangirl about other people’s earrings.)

What’s the FSC again…?

Kyu-to aidoru!

I think Momo and Yuki are going to reach out to Mitsuki and Tamaki (respectively) most this season…just a feeling, based on their dispositions. Tamaki and Yuki have similar faces, on top of that, so thank goodness we can tell them apart by hairstyle.

Yuki wears this steel blue shade of nail polish…ooh, also cute.

*Riku goes stiff-faced* - *audibly facepalms at Riku’s reaction*

Momo has a black and green earring set on one ear…huh.

Ooh, very nice. It’s a keeper.

Update: Apparently, you pronounce their name “Re:ba-re”, which is a bit different to what I was expecting (essentially “Re: veil”).

[zayashmaya]

Gods and Monsters - 3 - Off to the Races.

Other chapters here!

Marvus x Reader; SFW

Your favorite clown comes to your rescue.

My ... man is a tough man But he's got a soul as sweet as blood red jam And he shows me, He knows me Every inch of my tar-black soul

- Lana Del Rey

You didn’t see Lanque for the rest of the evening, which was all fine and well once you were two drinks into some serious shit on the dance floor. Remele certainly knew her audience — the purplebloods in attendance had quickly taken control once they trickled in with fashionable lateness, and everything had been set up for the ensuing clownery that followed. With Marvus at your side and your veins flooded with dubious alcohol, you felt nigh unstoppable, letting loose your inhibitions among a sea of trolls who would have killed you on the spot in a fit of capriciousness.

But a few of the clowns had come by to ruffle your hair and honk at you in recognition for having been a frequent presence in the church. You’ve certainly come far from the days of running for your life and getting trapped in an alleyway with a purpleblood seconds away from bludgeoning you to death. You kind of like them now.

And you definitely liked the way Marvus watched you as you swayed to the dizzying rhythm of pulsating music. Even his hands caressing your bare skin sent ripples of ticklish excitement throughout your body. It felt so different from when you had danced with Lanque. More on your terms, so to speak, and thus more thrilling. All in good fun, you thought. It’s not like he was serious about his flirting, anyway.

The purplebloods finished off the party with a frenzy of rapping that Marvus felt compelled to join. Stelsa had found her way to your side and eagerly followed your lead as you both giggled and danced your sanity away. You recognized some of Marvus’s lyrics from a few performances you had attended, and screamed your head off with the crowd as you sang along, feeling the heat of the lighting and the blurring colors collapsing all over you in swirling synesthesia, until you embraced the euphoric sensations and became one with the music.

Chucklevoodoos, a voice whispered through the cracks of your fraying mind.

Who cares, you answered back. I want this. I want this.

I feel whole.

Marvus was watching you. You felt compelled to direct your entire attention solely to him, not to any other highblood or to Stelsa but to him and him alone, and for a moment you heard the cheers of partygoers distorted into screams of pain before he beckoned you over with his arms spread out in theatrical showmanship. You clawed your way through the masses and into his waiting embrace, laughing for no reason and yet there was every reason to laugh —

“Snap out of it babe,” he said as he directed the microphone away from him, and even though the cracks were suddenly breaking and collapsing like shattered glass, all you could think of was how he said it just for you, only you, only you —

“What if I don’t want to,” you whispered, but nobody heard your admission.

As your fingers dug into the lapels of his jacket, you pressed up against him and scanned the crowd in a moment of clarity. Stelsa. Was she safe? Did you imagine all of the blood and death and fire?

Marvus’s arm was wrapped around your back as he held you close during the madness. You ran a shaky hand through your hair and wondered where the night would lead, because the highbloods were getting a little too rowdy. A gentle pat to your behind pulled you out of your thoughts, and you threw a scandalized look to Marvus as he grinned down at you. With the microphone poised before him, he called out to the partygoers, “Hey.”

That simple word held all the weight of an important command. The crowd fell silent, and a shiver rolled down your spine. You pressed your forehead to his side and tried to make yourself seem as small as possible, conscious of being stared at by so many people.

“Yall havin a good time??” The crowd roared to life in answer. “Lemme hear u give it up for the mutherfxxer who made it all happen, ufeelme?!”

Amidst the chorus of cheers, Remele bounced up to the clearing where Marvus waited for her, snatching the microphone out of his hand and baring her fangs in a wide smile as she addressed her attendees. You huffed a quiet laugh as you listened to her shill out her latest art pieces and advertise her gallery.

“ — and I woulde like to thank one of my best supporters, my very goode friend and my darling muse!"

You jerked your head towards Remele as she zeroed in on you. “Please, no — “ you begged, but she already grabbed hold of your upper arm and snatched you out of Marvus’s embrace. You looked back at him in a silent plea, but he only winked at you and flashed his toothy grin.

Remele whirled you around to face the crowd. The spotlight was on you now.

You meekly waved and prayed for the ground to swallow you whole. “Tonighte, dear guests, I have a confession to make,” she dramatically said, her eyes flashing in excitement. “Were it not for our resident alien, my gallery might never have gotten so muche recognition! Because she was responsible for the gruesome murder of a highbloode mere steps from my gallery, all of those perigees ago!"

”Remele!” you screamed in a whisper, withering away from the crowd as it erupted into bewildered laughter and indiscernible heckling. “What are you doing?! They’re going to kill me!”

And not just the attendees, but Marvus, too. God, you could hardly bring yourself to look at him, because even though Remele was technically the one who killed the purpleblood, you were still pathetic enough to get yourself into trouble in the first place, and the last thing you ever wanted was for him to catch wind of your fucked up escapades, and now your mind was racing a mile a minute but Marvus was just looking at you with raised eyebrows, and he didn’t look angry, just thoughtful —

“Oh, relax,” Remele cut into your mental breakdown, ignoring your attempts to claw your way out of her grasp — she was ridiculously strong — and continued her speech. “In honor of my muse, I have channeled my inspiration for that fateful nighte to create — “ She threw her arm out in a wide arc and directed everyone’s attention to a covered canvas mounted to a wall. ” — this!”

A rustblood scuttled over as if on cue and tore down the white fabric covering the canvas. All eyes were on Remele’s latest painting. Perhaps now was your chance to abscond? Maybe you could use this precious time to find Stelsa and hightail it out of here with one last ‘fuck you’ to Lanque —

Except your attention was entirely captured by the painting as soon as you dared to glance at it.

You were the subject, pressed flat against a dark wall and limbs splayed out like a cheesy damsel in distress, gripping the brick behind you as you stared at the viewer, all wide-eyed and afraid. And, much to your mortification, you were naked — or rather, lacking any sort of clothing while retaining no bodily features characteristic of your sex. Remele had never seen you naked, after all. Rather imaginative of her to paint you completely sexless and alabaster white, with red and purple stains blotched over your figure as though you were covered in blood.

What the fuck, Remele. Did you really look that pathetic to her that night?

Your mouth simply hung open in shock while the audience ascertained the painting with thoughtful murmurs. Remele waited with baited breath, whispering to you, ”Just you waite and see, I’m gonna be fuqueing loaded after this!”

Suddenly, a voice rose high over the crowd and called out what appeared to be a price.

Remele squeeled. You felt your soul leave your body. That better not have been Zebruh.

As if on cue, an intense bidding war began over the painting. You closed your eyes and hung your head, letting Remele flop your arm around like a limp noodle in joy as the price rose higher and higher still. This was it — your lowest point. Your cowardly self on display for other people’s pleasure, awaiting a lifetime of being gawked at by a privileged highblood. And worst of all, you weren’t even going to get a cut of the profits.

Within minutes, the haggling price had skyrocketed to what you imagined to be astronomical numbers. Most of the bidders had dropped out as well, with just a select few voices trying to outbid each other. A small part of you was surprised that they hadn’t attempted to resolve the conflict with good, old-fashioned murder and mayhem. Judging by the growing agitation in the bidders’ voices and the heckling of the crowd, that outcome might not be far off from the future.

And indeed mayhem ensued. Four highbloods had rendered each other into a pile of limbs and — and bicycle horns — before Remele threw her hand into the air and called out, “Looks like it’s time to wrap this shitshowe up! Going once, going twice, to the gentlemane with the facepaint and broken horne — "

A hand came down over your head and ruffled your hair. Somehow, you knew everything would be okay.

“Na b i’ma take dat home tonite,” Marvus cut Remele off. “I’ll take it for dubble tha price k :o)“

”Solde!” she shouted into the microphone, and you breathed a sigh of audible relief.

Yet your momentary reprieve was ruined once you realized that Marvus had spent a ridiculous amount of money on a scandalous painting that he had no need for. A sense of guilt hung over you as Marvus waited for the canvas to be brought to him, keeping a steadying grip on your shoulder and commanding someone nearby to hand over the payment on his behalf.

“You really didn’t have to do that, Marvus,” you quietly said, tugging on his sleeve to catch his attention.

He merely grinned. “I did dis for a more selfish reason than u think.”

“Why? Don’t tell me you actually wanted that thing?”

“Fxxk yea i did brohime, i wanna b lookin at dis erry day to remember i got one dangerous lil mama who could knock me flat on my azz n paint da walls w my blood. Shit’s hot yo.”

“I’m sorry to break the fantasy, but Remele was pretty much embellishing her story. I didn’t actually kill anyone, I would never do that!” you whined.

“Mebbe not then,” he said, his eyes staring straight through you as though he knew more than you let on. “But u prolly did a whole lotta damage to otha ppl jus by being on dis planet. A wicked shorty like u can’t survive here for dis long w/o causing sum mischief. Basically, u iz one dangerous lil alien.”

Discomfort gripped your heart. Marvus was right; you were inadvertently responsible for a few deaths. Thankfully none of your friends suffered from your magnetic ability to welcome danger —

— Karako bleeding out from his stab wounds, seadwellers laughing in the distance —

— Daraya engulfed in flames as she fought through the pain —  

— Boldir’s life withering away right before your eyes —

— Zebruh’s limbs torn apart in a frenzy of bloodlust —

You jolted and blinked through a haze of phosphenes coloring your vision. What were you thinking about again?

“Hey, it b ok u know.” Right, Marvus. Focus back on him. The painting is under his arm now, mercifully covered up so you didn’t have to look at it again. You welcomed the cold seeping into the skin of your shoulder from his touch. “U ain’t gotta b lookin so sad, doll. It just b dat way around here.”

You sucked in a shaky breath and mustered up a smile. “I know. And I guess if there’s anyone who I’d rather keep the painting, it would be you.”

Marvus lightly papped you on the cheek with the back of his hand. But before he could get a word in, Remele suddenly draped herself over you from behind. “Hello my sweete muse, please text me whenever you’re free againe; I’m going to make a livinge off of you!”

“Of course," you hastily replied, eager to worm your way out of her grasp and disappear. “I’m so … grateful that you painted such a — a charming rendition of me. You’ve truly outdone yourself!”

“It’s fxxn aces,” Marvus pipped up.

“Thank you so muche!” she gushed, and you had a sneaking suspicion she was amping up the charm for his sake. Her tactics were so shameless sometimes, but you loved her for it. You weren’t that much different from her in that regard.

“By the way, Remele, have you seen my friend Stesla anywhere around here? You know, the  tealblood who speaks without stopping to breathe.”

“Ummm,” Remele hummed, tapping her cheek with a finger as she looked around. “She shoulde be lurking somewhere in the back, methinks. Thanks for introducing us, she’s gonna be so fuqueing useful in the long run. Juste like you!”

“How kind of you to say,” you humorlessly said.

“Mhm! Anyway, I muste get going. Goodbye, sweete muse!” And off she went, gone in a flash to conduct more mischief.

Marvus tapped you atop your head. “Hey.” You looked up to his sneaky face. “U lookin about as done w all dis as i b. Wanna bounce?”

Oh you sure as fuck did. The weight of tonight’s eventful party was finally starting to come down on you. “How do you always know? I’m starting to think you have some sort of savior complex.”  

“Juss for funny lil hornless aliens who hang around weirdos.”

“Are you a weirdo, too, Marvus?”

He wiggled his eyebrows at you. “Hellz yea fam, but maybe not as much as u.”

“I am not!" you laughed, lightly swatting his forearm as you two walked towards where your instincts told you Stesla might be. “But seriously, thank you for getting me out of here."

“Don’t b thankin me just yet lil mama — maybe I got sum nefarious plans cookin in my think pan,” he teased and winked.

You chuckled. “I’m sure whatever you’re thinking of would be a million times preferable to being mobbed by frenzied trolls.”

“Ye tru. Lemme take u home, babe. Need me a lil bit of company in my sicknasty limo.”

“Oh, you didn’t come here with the other purplebloods?”

The corner of his grin turned up higher. “Sure did, but they ain’t who i’m lookin’ to take home tonite.”

You furrowed your brows at the strange phrasing — why would Marvus be so eager to take me back to my dilapidated hive instead of enjoying his friends’ wild company — but Stesla’s fashionable physique was in sight beside the restrooms, dabbing her face with a small powder puff while looking into a compact mirror. You called out to her in greeting, and she instantly perked up, hiding her cosmetics away in her purse before skipping up to you.

“OH MY GOODNESS DARLING THERE YOU ARE I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER GET TO YOU TONIGHT HOW ARE YOU DID YOU SEE THAT INCREDIBLE PAINTING MY IT WAS SIMPLY EXQUISITE I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THE MARVUS XOLOTO ACQUIRED IT — “

You practically pounced on her with a killer hug that would have knocked the air out of a human. But Stelsa was a force of nature in her own right, and as such, merely squeaked and hugged you back.

“I am feeling a little overwhelmed right now, Stelsa,” you confessed, murmuring into her chest before slinking out of her grasp to look at her. “I think I’m ready to leave now. Did you want to stay a little longer, or can I drop you off back home?”

“I SIMPLY CANNOT LEAVE JUST YET THERE IS STILL MUCH TO DISCUSS WITH REMELE AND SO MANY NEW POTENTIAL CLIENTS TO MEET HERE I WILL HAVE TO STAY BUT DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME PLEASE HURRY ON HOME AND REST YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED AFTER THAT BIDDING DEBACLE AND I SEE THAT A CERTAIN SOMEONE IS WAITING FOR YOU — “ Stelsa peered over the top of your head in the least discrete way possible. Unbeknownst to you, Marvus waved back. “MY OH MY IT’S A GOOD THING I MANAGED TO PRIMP YOU UP BEFORE THE PARTY JUST LOOK AT YOU GETTING LUCKY HMMM?”

Your mind had wandered during her monologuing, so it took you a moment for her last statement to shock you back into reality. “Th — that, that isn’t what’s happening!” you hissed in a quiet whisper, blushing brightly at her implication. “He’s just my ride home, don’t be preposterous. Anyway, are you sure you’ll manage on your own here? I’m worried about leaving you with all of these highbloods around. What if you get caught in another deadly moshpit or whatever?”

Stelsa giggled and placed her hands on her hips. “DON’T BE SILLY I CAN HANDLE MYSELF JUST FINE I DON’T WORK OUT FOR NOTHING YOU KNOW.” Oh, that’s right. You forgot Stelsa was ripped.

“I’ll trust you … but I’m not letting you go that easy!” You fished out your phone and quickly got to texting. “I’m going to let Tyzias know that I need to leave you here. And you better send me a message when you get home, or else I’ll go looking for you, and you know what happens when I have a mission in mind; things can either go horribly right or horribly wrong — “

“YES YES DARLING I WILL BE SURE TO DO SO THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A LOVELY FRIEND NOW DON’T KEEP YOUR OTHER FRIEND WAITING TOODLES AND BE SAFE!”

She urged you along before you could get another word in, and you nearly stumbled like a clumsy fool if not for Marvus catching your fall. “Reddy reddy, buddy?”

“Ready ready,” you breathlessly replied, graciously allowing him to lead you away hand-in-hand.

The crowd parted for the both of you on your way out. You caught a glimpse of a few glares and reddened eyes being thrown at you, and if you had a death wish, you might have stuck your tongue out at them. But you were a flimsy human with too much to lose now, so you stared straight ahead and focused on matching Marvus’s quick strides.

The quietness of the outside was jarring to your senses after enduring the loud music and boisterous socializing. Alternia's twin moons cast their colored rays onto your shimmering skin, lighting it up in a dazzling shine that could not meet its full potential under artificial light. Your vibrant glow must have caught Marvus's attention — he turned to look at you with widened eyes and paused his step. “Damn, lil mama,” he smoothly cooed, beckoning you into a twirl as he admired you from all angles. “Now I know I said earlier that u be lookin good an all dat, but dis is sum wild shit.”

You giggled. “It’s just the wicked glow of the Mirthful Messiahs watching over me,” you said and pointed to the sky with a smile. “Get it? Two moons, two prophets.”

“Amen, baby. The messiahs are errywhere and in errything,” he replied, guiding you towards the limo with an arm swung around your shoulders.

The driver was waiting patiently, bowing in respect as he opened the door for you. For a brief moment, you spared Lanque one final thought and wondered how his night had gone after your mini feud got cut short. But with Marvus hot on your heel as you clamored into the limo, you decided that your mental energy had better trolls to focus on.

[cybrfang]

Bar Herping And Derping

Chapter 1 – the correct place to start. So you were at the bar, listening to Summertime Sadness in October, like what the fuck it’s not even summer? Anyways, Ron Swanson leaned into you and asked, “Want another dry martini?” and you looked at him in disgust. “Yes,” you roared. In a jiffy, he made the dry martini and pushed it across the countertop in a jiffy. You sat there, bobbing your head to the dulcet tones of Lana Del Rey’s summertime sadness. Then, all of a suddenly, Anakin Skywalker came up to you. “Hey, would you mind scooting over so that me and my girlfriend can sit at the bar together? She’s is bregant. I would appreciate it,” he asked. You rolled your eyes. “Stop fucking hitting on me, you sick pervert. I knew you donnot have a gf.” You turned around and walked away, muttering under your breath, “God, I wish I wasn’t so hot. This happens all the time.” The music started pumping through my veins. Even though it wasn’t summer I loved this song. I started sing along with the lyrics. I didn’t even realize the spotlight was on me until I finished and everyone was staring at me. I thought they were all going to laugh, but I was surprised when they all started applauding. “Oh my gawd stowp it!!!” she whimpered, turning red and hiding behind her hands. (Y/N) was wearing purple trip pants, silver metallic doc martins, elbow fishnets, and a black cami with um with uh oh PEIRCE THE VIEL on it. I found the palest shade of foundation at claires. Purple glittery eyeshadow, I did my eyebrows so dark and pointy that like it would hurt if you pointed at them lol. My lips were lined with dark azz red, aand inside was like a black that matched my soul/, everyone loved it. I did my hair hair long neon yellow for the night and it reached my butt. My eyes were wearing their own contacts. They looked like a sharingan. Cool right?! I had the best figure. Kinda like Rush Limbauge. Cuz I’m out here lookin like a ten (That was a little thing for all my Brendiun stanz lollll ;3) (A/N) You look so god oh my gawd I wish I looked like that.

I sat down at the back. That’s when he walked in. “Oh my good I love this song.” I continued dancing. I felt a hand on my waist. “Oh… forward are we?” I didn’t yell at this person because I had a headache and they felt so right. All the suddenly I turned around and it was fucking Daniel RAD\cliff . But I played it cool because I was cool. When all the sudden he leaned and kissed me. “Want to go to the bar and get a drink?” She asked, with his lips against hers. “Okay.” He yelled. We walked to the bar and got two whiskies from Ron Burgandy. He gave me a thumbs up as he saw who I was walking with, because he’s secretly gay. I wrapped my hand around draco’s puurtectively. Because no barman was going to steal ma boyfriend, or I would slity ma wristys. Daniel laughed, “It’s okay, I won’t leave you. Because I love you.” “How?” she asked. “I’m ugly and nobody thinks I’m attractive. They all yell at me and think my singing Is bad.” Daniel shook his head. “It’s not bad because I own this bar… and I’ve been listening to you sing here every night. I’ve been waiting to get the courage to talk to you, because I’m actually really scared.” Daniel leaned in, I thought he was going to kiss me but actually he looked down at my boobs. “You know what I just noticed? You've got big old biddys like Grandma Tsunade.” He smiled and touched one. I blushed and smiled. “You’re such a pervert Daniel-san. Stop it lol.” Daniel leaned into the barman and asked for a drink. “What do you want?” Ron Weasley asked. “A whisky please.” Daniel winked. (Y/N) wrinkled her nose. She didn’t like alcohol, but for him she would let it go. They sat at a table together, Daniel with his whiskey and me with my orange juice. “So how many times do you come her?” He asked me. “Oh this is my first time really.” I replied. I hated bars and people. “Oh well do you know that I was Harry Potter? And this dude in this movie called a man in black, and also this guy with horns, as well as a dude who infiltrated Nazis, and this dude holding a gun?” I nodded, “Also you were in a play and showed your dick while you fucked a horse. I’m part horse, and all levels except physical I’m on crack. Haha just kidding.” Daniel laughed and pulled out a bag. “I actually am on crack.” (A/N) Me: O MG don’t you think guys on hardcore drugs are soooooo hawt! Daniel: I’m not actually on anything you know.. Me: owo shert up I know lol, but didn’t you drink a lot in filming and screw your fans? Daniel: Can we not talk about this please? Me: SHERT UP!!! XD

Daniel looked back at me after snorting his coke and I finished smoking pot because I really like it. “DO you want to fuck?” I asked… “Wait lemme call my friend real quick.” He dialed his friend. “Hey Jensen Ackles who voiced Madara Uchiha I’m about to make looove to Mercury Bob The Muppet. BYE HOE!” I tilted my head, apparently Jensen also loved me But I don’t love him. Daniel nodded and pulled me close to him and took off his shirt he didn’t care that we were in a bar. I liked that about him. I was nacked and on top of him, ignoring  all the guys watching because having sex in public is so hawt. He put his thingy inside my thingy and we did it. “Daniel you just took my virginity I love you!” I was orgazaming. It felt amazing. Daniel started crying, “(Y/N)… my love… my sweet… baby. As I’m fucking your pretty pink pussy ((A/N) see I’m not afraid of that word!! X3)) and take your virginity I finally realized that… I love you.” She grabbed her boobies and moaned, “OH YES HARRY YES! FUCK I LOVE YOU TOO!” She whispered. “Will you marry me?!” Daniel had tears going down his face sexily as he cummed in me with his hard pulsing member. “Oh my fcking god my scar hurts.” I put on my clothes and cried. He also put on his clothes. Everyone was clapping. “Yes Daniel I do!” “SO is that how you met mommy Daddy?” “Yes son and daughter… that’s how we met.” THE END! //////OH MY GAWD DID YOU LIKE IT?!! Aghhh that lemon in the end kept making me blushing and it was so hot. I love Daniel Radcliffff he is soooo hot. MMM Okay bye guys!! I will not post until I get 5 good reviows.

Okay please don’t actually hurt me this is a crack!fic 

[azz-clazz-shit]

4. Spring Cleaning by @azz-clazz-shit

Inspired by @dreaming-of-assclass 's spring prompts list.

Characters: Kayano Kaede and  Nagisa Shiota.

Pairing: Nagikae

Wordcount: 1001

Summary: Cleaning duty.

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Today's April 1st. That means it's time to choose volunteers to clean the classroom." Karasuma-sensei announced. "Last month there were three boys and three girls, right? I'm going to call out the names this month so answer when I call your names."

"Yes sir." The whole class replied.

"Kanzaki Yukiko."

"Here."

"Kayano Kaede."

"Yes!"

"Rio Nakamura."

"Yo!"

"Akabane Karma."

"Yes."

"Sugino Tomohito."

"Yes sir."

"Nagisa Shiota."

"Yes!"

"That's everyone. Starting today, the three of you will be cleaning the classroom during cleaning time."

-Time skip, cleaning time-

Everyone had already left class, leaving the classroom empty for the six students.

"This is like the field trip group all over again." Kayano squealed.

"I mean all of us already hangout anyways so I don't see anything special about it." Karma pointed out.

"Yeah. But getting to clean together like this is fun." Kanzaki said.

"So, how are we going to do the cleaning?" Kayano asked.

"Two on rags, two on sweeping and two on mopping is reasonable." Nagisa suggested.

"Let's decide on rock, paper, scissors to decide who gets what so it's a fair one and no complaints." Kanzaki had a smile on her face.

The others agreed and then the game started.

"Rock, paper, scissors... Shoot!"

There were two scissors and the rest were papers.

Kanzaki and Rio won that round and decided on brooms.

The others continued playing and the results were final.

Brooms: Kanzaki and Rio.

Rags: Karma and Sugino.

Mops: Nagisa and Kayano.

"Hey, loser washes the dirty rags?" Karma betted with Sugino. "After all, wetting your hands twice is better than letting my beautiful hands get wet."

"Too bad you're gonna lose." Sugino replied.

"I'll start on this side while you take the other." Kanzaki told Rio.

"Yes!" Rio saluted her and went to the other side of the room and started to do her task as the black haired girl did the same.

Kayano and Nagisa stood at the back of the classroom.

"Um... since we have to wait for Kanzaki-chan and Rio-san to finish sweeping, maybe we should come later starting tomorrow?” Kayano glanced at him as he said that.

“Sure.”

The atmosphere between them was awkward. It was all because of the kiss. 

“Is something wrong Kayano-san?” He turned to the green haired girl as he asked her. 

She swiftly turned around, not wanting to make any eye contact and an attempt to hide her face which looked like a tomato right about now. Sweats dripped down her face that could fill a bucket. 

“N-Nothing to worry about Nagisa.”

Rio was sweeping the side Kayano and Nagisa were on. She got close to Kayano and started a chat with her. 

“Hey Kayano-san.” The blonde greeted her by giving her a pat to the shoulder as well.

“Oh, Rio-san.” Kayano was slightly surprised by the sudden greeting. 

“I absolutely love the way our group turned out! Since it’s turned out like this...” Rio suddenly leaned closer to the smaller girl’s ear. “...I’ll totally support you two, okay/” The blonde quietly reassured her so that she can only hear it.

“EH!” Kayano jolted and her face exploded. 

“Trust me.” Rio reassured her again.

“N-no! It’s nothing like that! It’s okay-” She waved her arm frantically and her voice was too fast to process what she said.

“Don’t worry.” Rio Interrupted. “You don’t need to owe me anything after. I’m an understanding person.” She finished and continued to use the brooms, leaving Kayano stunned. Whereas Nagisa just wondered if she was still okay.

-Time skip, after some cleaning time-

“Yes! Finished wiping everything down.” Sugino cheered to himself.

“Done sweeping with the broom.” Kanzaki announced.

“We’re done with our part. See ya.” He winked at the pigtailed duo as he pushed Sugino out, leaving the dark blue haired boy confused.

“Kayano, want us to wait-” Kanzaki was about to offer her until Rio interrupted.

“Let’s go, Kanzaki-chan!” She intertwined both their arms together. “We’ll only be a nuisance if we stay. We’re gonna head out first, Kayano-chan!” The blonde snickered with a devilish smile on her face.

“Huh? Okay then.” Kanzaki looked at her friend oddly.

“Take your time.” Rio said and soon left.

‘Oh gosh, she’s trying to let us be alone together. Why does she do this?! And Karma! Don’t give us that look!’ Kayano mentally screamed to herself as her face was on fire.

Soon both were alone in the classroom. 

“Do you want to start from the front or the back?” Nagisa asked Kayano, being considerate of her decision. 

“Oh! I’ll take the back.”

“Okay. I’ll take the front.” 

Both headed off to opposite directions.

‘Ever since that day... We have been acting pretty normal... but in truth, we can’t properly look eye to eye or engage ourselves in a normal conversation. Although, I’m mostly the one at fault because I keep pushing him away.’

“Kayano-san, what are you doing?” Nagisa asked which alerted her and found herself staring at the wooden floors. “Let’s hurry up so we can catch up with the others.”

“Oh, sorry.”

Both mopped the floors in silence. 

The pig-tailed girl took a glance at her pair. ‘I should probably say something to make this less awkward. But approaching him feels more difficult than it used to be.’

They continued mopping and soon, it was coming to a close. 

“We met!” Kayano exclaimed as the fronts of their mops collided, signaling they had mopped the whole room. “Hehe.” She giggled with a bright smile on her face.

“Kayano.” Nagisa called out her name all of a sudden.

The opened windows brought flowing air inside the room as both stood in a tense atmosphere.

“Do you...” He stared at her. “...Like me?”

…

“Huh?” Kayano’s brain lagged at the sudden question and it took a while to process it. “HUUH?!” Her head became a volcano as she heard the question. “M-me? Like you?” She stuttered as she pointed her shaky hands at herself then at the blue haired boy.

“Yeah.”

[I’m gonna leave this as a cliff hanger because I don’t know what to write for this part.]