#don’t let ppl make you feel bad for expressing yourself
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Okay I hate those posts that discourage people telling their feelings. Like ‘oh I no longer write long paragraphs explaining how I feel anymore because people don’t care’
How ppl react to your words is up to them, but you deserve to say how you feel. Doesn’t matter if they don’t take you seriously. You have every right to tell someone exactly how they’ve hurt you and how it’s made you feel.
It’s so sad to me that people think they should just take it. Bottle it up. Not confront because ‘it’s pointless’ nah.
My feelings aren’t pointless. And if you can’t handle me coming to you and holding you accountable? Fucking tough. If you don’t want to seen or perceived as a bad person maybe don’t do shitty things.
Choices have consequences and I have spent so much of my life letting ppl get away with doing me dirty and being told that I’m doing too much because I try and hold them accountable.
I’m making a big deal. I’m causing drama. It’s nothing but manipulation to keep them from having to address how messed up they are. And I refuse to let that happen. Disrespect me, you can count on it that I will disrespect you back. It’s not childish or petty. It’s standing up for myself and setting a boundary that you don’t get to get away with treating me badly.
I respect and give enough of a damn about myself to fight back.
#this is at no one in particular DBSJSKSK#a tweet I keep seeing going around about this keeps floating and I’m triggered#wheeezes#tbd.#but seriously you’re feelings are valid#don’t let ppl make you feel bad for expressing yourself#if it bothers them?? then that’s a personal issue for them#⌜off the air⌟ . // ooc
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PUT MY LIPS TO SOMETHING ┊ MIYA OSAMU
synopsis: after a string of terrible dates taking a break sounded ideal. then Miya Osamu happens, and you find yourself back at square one. foolish, hoping, and hungry.
tags: GN reader, post timeskip, (blind) first date, reader is a foodie (and has a big appetite), implied bad past experiences (ppl mean about said apetite), insecurities (not about weight), strangers to lovers, sharing food + feeding each other, flirting, romantic + sexual tension, first kisses, *slaps roof of kitchen* you can fit so much Love into this thing!!!!!!!
wc: 5K
The evening laid bare in strokes of colour. The air is tepid. People part around your inert figure as you stand to the side and watch, shifting awkwardly between each foot. You were ten minutes early. And it seemed so was your date.
You exhale, palm laid over your rapidly beating heart. You’re not sure what your expectations were after agreeing to let Saeko set you up on this blind date but Miya Osamu exceeded. A beautiful stranger. Tall, broad shouldered with dark hair and hooded eyes. The dress shirt he’s wearing is close to a second skin, drawn tight around his back and clinging just slightly to his soft middle, shirtsleeves rolled to the crook of his arms.
On a whole you trusted her judgment. Apparently he owned the small restaurant she and her colleagues frequent for their lunch hour. She promised that he was handsome, which was plain to see, and effused repeatedly that the two of you would work well together. Nevertheless you can’t help feeling cautious.
Dating has been… tricky at best. A game to some, a way to keep score. The search for validation. A means to an end. A fleeting cure to boredom. You don’t think you’re particularly bad at meeting new people, but it can’t be ignored that you don’t have much to show for it thus far.
You’re aware enough to discern the root cause. You loved food—that’s the long and short of it. You savoured meals to the very last crumb, seeking out the various flavours on your tongue to really get to the heart of the dish. Because that’s what food did: it loved back.
Dates often treated you like a different creature entirely upon witnessing your appetite. Poorly veiled embarrassment, or concern, or disdain as you sat across from one another and ate. Different in a lesser way, in a distasteful way, as though they were sampling fine wine for the flavour and you were just drinking for the sake of getting drunk, when it was quite the reverse.
Anyone would think you behaved like an animal. Your table manners were fine. You treated the staff with respect. You made conversation and asked questions, even when they made no effort themselves, and tried to make the best of the evening.
With every failed attempt at making a connection you were beginning to grow lonely. The presence of your loved ones and their families, their partners and their children, never truly filled that cavernous ache in your chest. Poured in like morning sun with hopes to warm you from the inside out, perhaps, only all that ever did was make the hole more obvious to you.
Taking a break from the scene sounded ideal. Then Miya Osamu happened to see a photo of you over Saeko’s shoulder, expressed his interest, and you found yourself back at square one. Foolish, hoping, and hungry.
There’s phantom heat around your fingers. The gentle squeeze of Saeko’s hands as she sent you off. “This one will be different,” she told you. With her words echoing in your thoughts, you pat down either side of your hips, ironing out the creases, and start toward him.
Osamu is leaning against the outer wall now, scrolling on his phone. A warm musk fills your senses as the distance shortens. Smooth notes of oakmoss and vanilla. He must notice your approach in his periphery, because he straightens up and steps forward, turning to face you with an apprehensive smile. The attraction between you becomes tangible before either of you speak a word.
"Hi," you smile back, oddly at ease to see that he is equally nervous. "Miya, right? I think I'm here to meet you".
The tension slips from his posture and from yours in turn. His smile grows and deepens the crinkles by his eyes as his gaze sweeps over you. Dawn casts the street in a peachy tint and it dapples across his cheeks in a faux blush. "Sure hope so," he says. "Call me Osamu. Ya look beautiful, by the way".
Something rouses in your chest. You're warm now. His accent is unfairly charming, like the rest of him. "Thank you," you reply, lingering on the delicate silver chain around his wrist, and how the folded fabric of his sleeve strains around his forearm. "So do you".
"Beautiful?" Osamu echoes, brow arched with the teasing lilt in his voice.
You hum, drawn to the natural heat emitting from his body. "S'what I said, isn't it?"
"So you did," he murmurs, the low timbre settling over you like silk. When your eyes meet he rocks back on his heels, clearing his throat and gesturing to the restaurant he picked for tonight. "I made a reservation for us. Wanna head in?"
"I'd love to".
As if entering another world, the noise lowers into a pleasant din. You step through the tall latticed doors into what appears to be a bistro-style restaurant. All autumn pigments and harmony. Family owned, from what you recall after searching it up last night. The main dining area has a romantic ambience to it, balmy toned lanterns centred on each table and an open kitchen where the chef is lovingly making a yakisoba dish.
"Tanaka mentioned yer a bit of a foodie," you blink from your appreciative stupor and glance at Osamu. "Apparently they serve really good European food here so," he rubs at the back of his neck, a little pink and unsure, his shoulder jerking in a loose shrug. "Thought'cha might like it".
Your heartbeat floods your ears. "I really like it," you say, hushed, flustered at his thoughtfulness. Before he's able to respond a host has approached, young and dressed in a well pressed black vest, not a thread out of place. He bends into a perfect bow.
“It is a pleasure to welcome you this evening. Will it be a table for two?”
Osamu sidles closer. There's presence at your lower back, his hand lingering, and you decide to lean into it. “There should be a reservation for two under the name Miya,” he nods. The host brightens.
“Of course! Right this way".
The host takes off toward the rear dining area, hidden from view. Osamu encourages you forward and as you walk together he leans to whisper in your ear, "We haven't seen the best part yet".
You immediately understand what he's referring to as you're led through a pair of golden drapes and into a conservatory space that looks out on a lustrous bamboo grove and a small koi pond. Your table is right by the stretch of windows, offering a lovely view. It steals the breath straight from your lungs, “Osamu…”
Once seated the host returns to offer you a pair of damp towels on a tray. Osamu orders a drink while he wipes his hands, and then you do the same. You sink into the cushioned back of your chair. A shoe brushes your ankle and retreats to settle alongside it, just a couple of inches. The centrepiece gently breathes to life, illuminating the table.
Anticipation trickles back in as Osamu voices his gratitude and you realise you’ll need to order in front of him. His focus turns to you as the host departs, discerning your expression. “D’ya wanna order a starter first?” he asks, sliding a menu to you.
The menu is thick and glossy. You make a commiserate sound, thumb plucking at the corner of the card. “Everything sounds really good. I’ve never had carottes ra—âpées,” you murmur, skimming excitedly over the dishes and listing off the things that catch your eye.
A low chuckle interrupts your train of thought. Rather than underlying irritation, you’re met with amusement and curiosity. “Really do like yer food, huh?”
Heat floods your body, and you resist the urge to grimace. “Sorry, I can get carried away. Is there anything you want to try?”
“Thinking of getting grilled octopus and canola to start and the sea bream for main,” he recites, studying you in the low light. Muffled are the far off sounds of meat popping on the hot stove-top and you can smell a sweet, coconut-like aroma. “Don’t need to be embarrassed y’know. I’m a food lover too”.
You perk up noticeably in your seat and Osamu’s expression near melts into sheepishness. “You run a restaurant, right? Saeko mentioned”.
“Ah, yeah. Onigiri Miya. Nothin’ as grand as this,” he gestures to the surroundings offhandedly. Your eyes linger on the flex of his throat as he swallows, pride bleeding into his voice. “Won a Food Made Good award though, just last month”.
“No kidding. Congrats Osamu, that’s amazing,” you grin, instinctively leaning into his magnetism and resting your hands on the table surface. Osamu seems to mirror your movement without meaning to. “Have you always wanted to run a restaurant?”
“Never really thought about it. Up to the end of my second year I assumed I’d fall into somethin’,” he admits. “I sorta hit the ground running after graduating. My brother too—”
“Excuse the interruption. I have your drinks,” interjects a new timid voice. The server shuffles forward to set the glasses between you on the table and then fumbles for her notepad, clicking the cap down. “Are you both ready to order?”
Osamu recovers and recites his choice for starter and main, and you do so afterwards without second thought. It’s nice, being at ease. Sitting opposite Osamu feels natural. The glass is cold against your palm, ice cubes clinking softly as you bring it up your lips and drink. You nudged the conversation forward before it could wilt. “You were saying, about your brother?”
“Atsumu. He’s my twin brother,” Osamu begins with a small smile, poorly hidden behind the rim of his glass. He sets it down, watching the amber liquid ripple. “Played volleyball since we were kids, but he always loved it a little more than I did. So while I racked up every business permit and licence I could get and he dove first into division one”.
“You both sound pretty brave, in your own right”.
“Thanks,” Osamu grinned and you got the impression that you very much said the right thing. “Brave is a new one. We’re used to bein’ called reckless idiots”.
“Tomayto tomahto,” you tease, lifting an arm and crossing your fingers together. After another sip, “Gotta be a little bit of both, right?”
“You’re right about that,” he conceded. Mouth thinning as if to rein in his smile, he reached up to needlessly fix his hair. “How about yerself, what do you do?”
Attraction hung over the table, an incorporeal anticipant thing that swells as the evening unfolds. Darkness enveloped the bamboo grove and activated the small aureate floor lights placed between the culms. You fall into natural conversation over your starter dishes. You share laughter. Tender and succulent; you share food, too, leaning forward to pluck a sample from his plate, offering your own. Not a single grimace.
Every other first date pales in comparison.
Osamu watches you with a hooded gaze warmed by his second pint of beer. There’s a certain satisfaction to him, contentment. The tip of his tongue peeks out to catch an errant drop. He nudges his ankle to your calf again when the server returns to clear away your starter plates, and you don't move away.
“Can I ask why you’re single, and what you’re looking for?”
“Finally, the hard hittin’ questions”.
You laugh, “We’ve got to get over the boring first date spiel at some point tonight”.
Osamu rumbles his assent, rests his chin in his palm, casting an idle glance to the garden as he thinks. “Think my answer’s kinda standard. At first I never had the time ‘cause of the restaurant, didn’t think it’d be fair,” he begins, and his mouth twists into a little self-effacing smirk. “When I thought I was ready I tried some’a those dating apps but nothin’ ever clicked for me”.
“I get it. Gauging chemistry is harder online,” you affirm softly, readjusting your seat as the server steps up to set down your main dishes, inclining her head in greeting but with enough grace not to interrupt. Osamu voices his gratitude, sliding his plate closer. The grilled tai is a beautiful fleshy pink colour, garnished with sprouts and hosta leaves.
“Ma says I’m a romantic,” he continues sheepishly, plucking up his chopsticks. “I’d prefer to meet someone naturally, face to face. To really feel it when ya click with each other”.
“Yeah?” there’s an ache blooming in your cheeks as you glanced down at your food. The plate is still hot to touch. You pinch your chopsticks and inhale the rich scent of saffron, garlic and onion, and beneath it all sharp notes from an open flame. “I think we’re doing pretty good on that front”.
“Better than I hoped,” he murmurs, supple and full of promise. The hair on your arms prickles. When was the last time anyone looked at you like that, you wonder. “Soon as Tanaka caught on that I saw your picture on her phone she was determined to appeal ya to me. Thought it might be too good to be true”.
You hum around your first mouthful, feeling much the same way. Saeko had worked hard to strong arm you into meeting him. The food falls apart gently on your tongue and suddenly your agreeable noise becomes a pleased crescendo, taken by the rich smoky flavours.
After swallowing you grow self-conscious; the weight of Osamu’s focused attention is heavy. Rather than embarrassment, the flush tinting his cheeks seems to be something else entirely. He has a chunk of grilled tai between his chopsticks, halted halfway to his lips. “Is it that good?” he teases, strained.
There’s no true malice or ill intent behind it. It’s lighthearted—you could even delude yourself into thinking he sounded fond. You kick your lips, inhibitions worn a fraction after a glass of liquor. “I’d say that’s obvious,” you smiled. “It tastes amazing. Thank you, for picking this place”.
“S’been my pleasure believe me,” he says, finally taking a bite of his own. Like him, you observe how his expression flickers as the flavour fills his senses. A flare in soft surprise, rippling as he chews and discerns the texture. His eyelids flutter closed, lashes fanning out over the high point of his cheeks, and open in the next breath to catch you staring.
“Is it that good?” you echo coyly. Osamu smirks, a glimmer in his eye. He picks up a small piece of the tai sandwiched with a hosta leaf and cups his hand beneath it while offering you a try.
“See for yaself,” he says. Energy simmers under your skin, all buzzing heat and jitters. You quickly sip your drink, rinsing your palate before shuffling closer to the table's edge and lean forward, lips eagerly parting to take the morsel into your mouth. A hitched breath. Osamu holds your gaze while you parse the hints of dashi broth and ginger.
“God. You weren’t wrong. The texture is perfect…” you stop yourself from rambling further and swipe your bottom lip as you recline in your chair, chopsticks poised like pincers. Pulse quickening behind your ribs you copy his actions, taking a sample of your dish for him to try. “Try mine too?” you offer, abashed.
Osamu struggles to temper his grin. Words aren’t necessary. He props himself onto his elbows and stretches forward, pink mouth wrapping around the end of your chopsticks. Closer now you notice the soft cupid’s bow on his top lip. He draws back with a soft groan as he chews—the sound ripples down your spine.
“Never tasted anything like that. Almost has a tangy bite to it,” he praised.
“Right? It’s amazing how they managed to marry earthy and briny together. I think it’s a Spanish dish, maybe,” you wonder aloud, eyes sweeping over the table. “How have I never been here before?”
“It’s my first time too, a friend recommended it. Heard they’ve only been open a year and some,” he tells you. Eventually the conversation slows as eating takes precedence. The server flits in and out to take your empty glasses, bringing refills. Sitting there, now with an empty plate and your third drink half full, a different spirit entirely sifts inside you.
Osamu admires you over the rim of his beer. “I never got to ask earlier,” he mused. “Are ya looking for a serious relationship or…?”
You scarcely hear him, preoccupied with staring at his other loosely curled hand beside the centrepiece. If he notices he doesn’t mention it. “I am. I’ve been trying. Any more than this I might actually fit the definition of a serial dater,” you admit, in an attempt to reciprocate some of his prior vulnerability. “But all I want is to settle down. Find someone”.
About to take another sip, Osamu's fingers slip slightly on the condensation around his pint. “Yer serious?” he baulks. His accent is thicker, rough. You wince at his tone. “Sorry, sorry. I just have a hard time believin’ nobody snatched you up yet”.
Feeling a little like a damn has broken in your chest, you nod. “Maybe I tried too hard. Somehow showing genuine interest only ever puts them off more,” a brittle bout of laughter breaks the delicate quiet, and you begin tearing at a napkin to distract yourself. “And most of them didn’t really… like my appetite. I embarrassed them sometimes, I think”.
Agitation on your behalf flickers in his expression; brows drawn taut, jaw clenched, it flies over his face and smooths out just as quickly. “That’s bullshit,” he said, sounding far calmer than he had looked. Warmth encompasses your hands and your fingers pause their repetitive motions. Osamu runs his thumb over your knuckles. “‘Scuse my manners. But ya not embarrassing in the slightest. There’s nothin’ more satisfying than watching someone eat well”.
A slow smile pulls at your lips. The napkin is in pieces. You sense his caution in crossing any boundaries, pressure alleviating as though to pull away, so you overturn your wrist and thread your fingers together. “I think so too,” you reply. “Not much better than good food and good company”.
“Guess we’ve covered all the bases,” he murmurs, squeezing until your palms kiss. “Feel like sharing some desserts with me?”
The hunger in your heart rears its head. Mentally you send a good word to Saeko, knowing you owe her more than a drink or two for this. “Can’t say no to that,” you return, voice a little thick. Whatever will prolong the night.
Dessert ends up being a beautiful burnt honey cake. It comes with a creamer of liqueur laced chocolate sauce that strays as you pour it. Osamu watches you clean a wayward thread of melted chocolate from wrist to heel with your tongue, grey eyes overcast with something heady. You feel a pulse of magnetised desire where there’d been none before as wet fingers popped free of your mouth.
It’s delicious, you're sure. You can hardly remember anything beyond the face he makes as he tries it.
The end of the date looms with dreadful finality. Osamu pays the bill in full despite your countless protests. You walk through the front dining area, busier than it had been, and in passing you bow your head toward the chef working behind the bar and the host at the entrance.
“Thank you very much,” he acknowledges politely. “Please come again”.
It’s jarring to step back out from the restaurant’s welcome embrace into the street. “Guess this is it,” you inhale deeply and move to Osamu’s side to sap him of his warmth, wrapping yourself around his arm. He pulls you closer and you yield like putty, partly the need to shield from the crisp, late night air and partly the desire to prolong your time together.
“Did you walk here?” he asks, rubbing your hip. Your hand is splayed over his chest, heat seeping through the fabric, heart tapping against your palm.
“I got dropped off,” you reply. “I’ll have a car pick me up”. Osamu dithers for a moment, visibly searching for the right words. He rubs at his neck—a nervous habit you’ve noticed.
Whatever you were expecting it wasn’t, “Are ya still hungry?”
Your mouth opens and closes. True, there’s no real physical ache of hunger but you would hardly describe yourself as full, or sated. “…I could eat,” you confess. Osamu grins at that, dark hair haloed by the streetlight. “Why?”
“My restaurant isn’t far from here. If yer comfortable with it, the cab can pick you up from there and I’ll make a treat for the ride home,” he says. He must take your brief silence to mean discomfort, because he continues on. “Ya can say no,” he murmurs, thumb stroking back and forth at your waist. “Just didn’t want the night to end yet”.
The offer strikes a chord within you, and you feel like you could burst. You want. Guided by fleeting impulse you press a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. He startles and then moves as if to chase it. Your breath catches as you come together in a soft, chaste press of lips.
“I’d like that,” you rasp, patting at his chest and unwilling to part. There’s relaxed, padded muscle underneath. “What’s the address?”
After receiving the address you input it into your phone, scheduling the taxi to pick you up in around thirty minutes—at Osamu’s suggestion. As promised the restaurant is no more than a five minute walk, tucked away alongside a few other establishments. You notice the Onigiri Miya sign fixed above the door displaying his logo, but the shutters are down.
“Gotta head in through the side,” he explains quietly. You nod, clasping both hands around his forearm and letting him lead. The clink of his keys fills the silence, followed by a series of clicks. The door opens and he flicks the switch on. You squint at the intrusive light that floods the space, blinking to adjust, and make a low inquisitive noise as you meander through.
The interior errs on traditional, and it works well. Hanging along the accent wall is a banner of the shop name written in calligraphy, and other various artworks are littered throughout showcasing appreciation for the local agriculture.
Osamu disappears into the back amidst your exploring. You duck beneath the curtain draped across the doorway to find him. The kitchen is small, an obvious compromise to make room for more dining space. Food preparation is dedicated to the heart of the kitchen on an island-like setup, while dishwashing and such are pushed to the perimeter. Osamu embodies it comfortably and confidently.
Hands wrung against your stomach, you lean to get a closer look at what he’s doing. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Osamu stops, still poised to reach for the water bowl next to his workstation. There are multiple others set out, each seemingly with a different ingredient. His mouth pulls into a boyish grin. “Don’t worry about that,” he says, inclining his head to the stool opposite. “Just sit there looking pretty and I’ll feed ya something good”.
You bite the inside of your cheek and wonder if it’s possible for butterflies to hatch in your chest. A fuzzy giddiness that spreads to the tips of your fingers, and you want to kiss him again. “Promise?”
“Promise”.
Lowering onto the stool, you watch raptly as he wets his fingers and takes a pinch of salt to rub into his hands. Skin glistens under the pale florescence. Osamu's visage wanes, and you're struck by how at home he looks.
“So,” you speak, if only to fill the silence—and to hear his voice again. “What made you fall in love with food?”
Osamu scoops the cooked rice from a nearby bowl into his palm and starts to shape it. He doesn’t pause in his motions, even with the contemplative tilt of his head. “Lots’a reasons, really,” he says. “Earliest one I can remember is when I made breakfast for my gran for the first time. Ma helped out, ‘cause I was only five or six, but I was real proud of myself”.
“That’s cute,” you murmur, a nascent fondness stirring inside your body at the imagined young Osamu that flashes through your mind. “Did it turn out any good?”
Deft fingers knead a shallow dip into the centre of the rice ball. “Course it didn’t, I used way too much salt. But she still ate it, and it made her feel better”.
“Because she loves you”.
Osamu meets your eyes. Outside, droplets stutter out a drowsy staccato against the windows, cohesive with the beat of your heart. The moment feels pheromonic, like when you know something is just right the second you find it. “Yeah,” he murmurs. His mouth curls up and he tucks some of the nearby ingredients into the rice. “See, yer getting it”.
That's what it is. Osamu likes to take care of people. Your focus falls to deft fingers, gently folding the rice over, as though tucking it in. He gives it a triangular shape, adorned with a slice of nori, and sets it into a small cardboard tray. Without preamble, he reaches to start another.
"Y'know, first time I ever confessed to someone it was with onigiri," Osamu tells you, unheeding of the wellspring he opened in your chest. "Made 'em that same morning, had a speech and everything. Never told anyone I was gonna do it".
You hum and scoot closer, folding your arms atop the island. It's cold ot the touch. Osamu appears to blossom further under your avid attention. He repeats the steps, pressing new filling carefully into the heart of the rice and admits, "Got rejected, though".
Your face falls. "I'm sorry, Osamu".
"It's fine. In the end I gave one of 'em to 'Tsumu, and I ate the other," he shrugs, looking rather happy for someone talking about their botched first confession. "Know what he told me?"
"What?"
"Looks me dead in the eyes and goes 'What the hell, 'Samu. Are ya holdin' out on me? These taste better than usual'," Osamu pitches his voice as he recites the memory, presumably mocking his brother. You laugh, and he ducks his chin to hide his grin. "I remember missin' three serves that day. He told me since I suck so bad at volleyball I should be a chef instead. Idiot doesn't even remember he said it, but..."
While he had meant his words to be light you heard the significance beneath it. You rise from your seat. Osamu tucks the third and final onigiri into the tray and lets his focus stray toward you. Featherlight strokes up his forearm, you rest your cheek against his shoulder. You peer through your lashes and look at Osamu's face, at a tentative beginning.
"And now you're here," you say, reaching to cup his warm cheek. He leans into it, lids fluttering as your thumb traces an arc beneath his eye. His ears are warm against the tips of your fingers. "You did it".
"Yeah," Osamu releases a shaky breath. "Is it—can I kiss ya again?"
Your answer comes with the tilt of your head. Osamu kisses you, solemnly sweet. You can faintly taste the beer he drank. He's warm, firm under your hands. You feel him smile against your mouth and smile back, nipping at his plush lower lip. The intensity grows as a strong arm coils around your waist, his wet, rice soiled hand held away from your clothes. Your fingers slip into his hair as his tongue dips into the seam, slides over your own and along the grooves in your teeth, drinking the whine right from your mouth.
"Osamu," you sigh, pushing harder, needing to be closer, and yet he is pulling further away. "Noo, come back".
"Greedy thing" he rasps. His voice is infused with warm laughter. You hum as he kisses you again, similar to the first. It's quick and chaste, and with too much finality for your taste. "I know. But I'm pretty sure that's yer ride waiting outside".
You sniff haughtily, following his line of sight to the car headlights filtering in through the windows. "Wait. Let me walk ya out," he mumbles, turning away to find a towel to wipe his hands on. Meanwhile you gingerly pick up the takeout tray of onigiri and cradle it to your front, as though something precious.
"Ready?"
The night is colder than you remember, and you'd only been out of it for a short time. Sparse raindrops pitter patter on the pavements, leaving dark little dots on the concrete. Osamu walks ahead to check with the driver and then waves you over, opening the door himself.
"What a charmer," you tease, turning into him once more and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, Osamu. I had a really great night".
"Good enough to see me again?"
The crinkles by his eyes are knowing, aware that he needn't ask at all. And the thought that you could be another person for Osamu to take care of—it satiates the ache.
"Maybe I can cook for you next time," you say as you climb into the backseat. Osamu bends, peering into the car.
"Promise?"
Loneliness is just another form of hunger. You realise that now.
"I promise".
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First, I just want to thank you for all the good content you push out for TD, everything is so perfect it makes me so happy 😿. Just found your account and I’m already obsessed.
May I request some HC on how Haku, Lucas, Subaru, and Sho would react to an overly touchy mc who doesn’t really understand personal boundaries bc they’ve just always been used to touching ppl to express love. You don’t have to do all of them, just making some characters to pick and chose from. Thank you!
Lucas, Sho, Subaru, and Haku reacting to an overly touchy MC who does not understand personal boundaries(GN! Reader)
Thank you so much!!! You guys' support of me makes me happy! I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thank you for requesting as well. I formatted this in a different way! Sorry for the wait.
Spoiler for the Hotarubi Chapter(story under the cut)
Physical touch was how you showed love. The only problem was that you were overly touchy. You were always hugging, cuddling, and holding onto whoever you loved. You ended up loving one of the ghoul friends you made, and now you’re being extra clingy.
When you became close with Luca, you automatically attached yourself onto him. You'd hug him when you got the chance, and lean on him if he was sitting down.
He tolerated it at first. After all, it made you happy, and he did love the affection.
It did become troublesome when all you wanted to do was touch him.
Eventually, Luca would confront you about it. When you told him it was how you show affection, he would understand but set some boundaries with you.
He'd apologize after the conversation for being a bit harsh with you. He also gave you a kiss on the forehead.
Sho didn’t mind your touchyness at first, In fact he kinda liked it.
When it started to affect the things that he was doing was when it started to bother him.
He'd ask you to tone down the affection a bit, and that it had been affecting the stuff he needed to do.
He knows that your very touchy and he's not going to take that away from you.
He’d grin and give you a kiss on the head. Then you'd spend the rest of the night cuddling.
Subaru is extremely scared every time you get close. He knows how much you want to show your love to him, but he's scared of using his stigma.
There were plenty of times where he'd see your memories because you hugged him. He hates his stigma, he wants to hug you without seeing your thoughts
He'd feel bad whenever he sees one of your memories and he’d start telling some of his.
You shut him up and explained that you didn’t really care about what he'd see in your mind.
When you two finished going over what boundaries you wanted, Subaru would give you a hug.
Haku, like Luca and Sho, wouldn't mind your affection. In fact, he would soak up any touch of yours like a sponge.
You two don’t get to see each other as much due to Haku’s position. Which would lead to so many sleepy cuddles.
He would be slightly annoyed whenever your hugs stop him from doing his duties.
He’d just tell you how he's feeling, letting you know that now wasn’t the time. He'd also be clear about any boundaries he'd have.
After his work, he would cuddle you a lot.
#tokyo debunker#tokyo debunker x reader#lucas errant x reader#sho haizono x reader#subaru kagami x reader#haku x reader#lucas errant#sho haizono#subaru kagami#Haku
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Which area in your life will Pluto Aquarius transform? Through the houses
The houses in your birth chart represents the area in your life.
Pluto is the planet that rules over massive transformations, it tears everything down to rebuild it into something better than what you had before.
Aquarius is considered the “freedom sign” the house that Aquarius rules is the place where you will feel free. It’s also the area where you don’t follow the rules and do your own thing.
1h
You as a person is going to be going through a massive change. Considering this is a 20 year transit, it make sense. How you view yourself now won’t be nowhere near the same in 20 years. Matter of fact, as you read this, you won’t remember this version of because it’s going to be so different. Your overall outlook is going to change, how you see those around will be different. Your physical appearance may change and I’m not talking about the natural body changes; no, I’m talking about you getting tattoos when didn’t have them before, dyeing your hair all sorts of colors, there’s a rebellious attitude towards your appearance. You’ll learn to stand up for yourself during this time as well! The 1h is the house of Aries so you’ll have ppl testing you, talk to a Pluto 1h native, they’ll know what I’m talking about LoL, but you’ll learn to stick up for yourself.
2h
How you view and take care of your finances will be different! This can play out multiple ways; maybe you’ll learn some harsh lessons on not overspending and learning how to save. You may have struggled with your finances, and start to see a mass improvement as time go on with this transit. Are you worthy? Is the question you’ll ask your self a lot. Your self worth and how you deal with that will be a big theme for you. Pluto rules over our deepest fears, it’ll force you to look within on where did you get these insecure fears from and you’ll do lots of shadow work. Let me tell you though, once you get past your fears and know your worth!! Chile, you’ll be a bad bitch haha. This is also the physical home, you may move to a new house, or redecorating your current place.
3h
You better speak your truth! The way you process your thoughts and communicate will go through a huge transformation! The 3h is how we talk to people, the things we constantly think about and love to discuss. With Pluto being in this house, you may take a deep dive in learning about whatever topic you’re interested in. 3h also rules over education, you’ll be wanting learn a lot of new things but you want to learn it in depth! You will get to know the depths of your mind. 3h also rules our siblings, teachers and co-workers so expect them to go through lots of changes from your point of view. You may move into a new type of neighborhood that you would’ve never expected to live in.
4h
Chile, your whole private life is about to change. The 4h is the home but it’s the part of our life that we don’t share with others unless they’re close to you. Your home (inside) will drastically change, you may start a family (if you wish), have a family member move in with you. You may move altogether and start fresh. Your family dynamic will change as well, this isn’t always a bad thing either! Aquarius is known as a chain breaker, you may break lots of generational traumas during this time especially if you have the mother wound. The 4h represents our emotional state, Pluto is going to make you feel those emotions hunny, it’s going to a lot of deep emotions as well.
5h
🎵Oh sweet child of mine🎵 it’s time to start healing your inner child wounds. The next 20 years, you’ll will remember what I’ll be like to be a kid and fun again! You may have been ostracized or called the weirdo kid growing up which left you some unhealed wounds. No more hiding, it’s time to express your authentic self to the world my friends! What were some of the things you liked as child? Revisit that. If you’re a creative, the world needs to see your talent, your ideas and projects can help others whether physically or through inspiration. If you have children or want too in the they can help you bring out that inner child again, hell it don’t have to be your child, it can be your niece, nephew or local neighborhood kids that can teach you to lighten up!
6h
🎵now get this work in, working on my sh!&t!🎵 is the theme for you the next 20 years. Now let me be clear, working doesn’t always have to mean your job but just being a busy body in your everyday life! The 6h rules over our daily routines. Pluto is about to disrupt all that lol but maybe the routine you’ve been practicing isn’t healthy for you? You’ll learn what routine works for and you’ll probably have several ones throughout the years because it is a 20 years transit lol. Also your health! Pluto is about to get a lot of people with this placement a reality check when it comes to health, please take care of yourselves. Aquarius rules the nerves and ankles so stretch them and try not to let stress take you out either. I have a Pluto 6h (different sign)natally so I know this placement well. Pets! You may feel inclined to get pets that’s known as guard animals for the home. You may have co-workers(supervisors and managers)that may grow envious or jealous of you. Until you trust them then stay private.
7ħ
I just went through this transit myself and whew! It’s been a doozy! You’re going to meet people who’s going to test you, your transformation is through other people. The 7h is all close relationships so that means your family, your partner, since it’s in Aquarius, that means even strangers in person and online. You may end up with a few partners who’s going to change your whole outlook on relationships and what you want in them. You’ll meet people who’s going to want to work/collaborate with you and some may work out, some not but you’ll learn valuable lessons, Can I trust you? Is the question you’ll be asking several times. If you’re a business owner or if you want to be, you may pursue that during this transit. I started my astrology journey with this page while Pluto was in this house.
8h
The good news is that Pluto is home here so really Pluto is just redecorating his own house lol. Your views on sex and what sex means to you may change. You may have ppl be more open when it comes to sex. Trust! Trusting others in a deep vulnerable way will be a huge theme for you. Vulnerability maybe a tough thing for you to show to people. You may have been shunned emotionally growing up. With Pluto coming back home, you will learn that not everyone is your enemy, it’s okay to open yourself up to those closest to you. Aquarius is the people sign so you’ll about to meet all sorts of people who will challenge you to trust. Your intuition, psychic gifts will also increase as well! You may have futuristic visions and dreams about the collective.
9h
Whatever your personal beliefs or philosophies are, yeah… they’re about to go through a huge rebuild. You will go through things that’s going to change what and who you believe in. You can also still have these beliefs but will have a different view on it due to whatever situations you will be put in. You may start traveling abroad to “taboo” or “non popular” destinations. Maybe you visit a certain country where their culture is known for their funeral/death practices and you want to experience seeing one, something taboo like that. This also ties in to gaining higher knowledge about the world. You’ll want to study the underline or hidden from society parts. Maybe you’ll study a religion but from an occult lenses if that makes sense.
10h
Change in career! You may gain some power in whatever field you’re in. That power could be higher position, having stronger connections or just having the power to stand up to the higher up. People may start to feel intimidated by you even if you don’t feel intimidating. You will start to take yourself seriously and what I mean by that is you’ll start realize you will recognize you are a powerful person. You will feel empowered, people will feel empowered by you. You’re transforming into the Boss. How you manage your life will be more private, which will give you a mysterious aura.
11h
The era of networking! You will meet people who you will you can collaborate with. You may meet ppl during random times in your life. 11h is Uranus energy so you may have few new friend circles over the years. Ppl will come and go in your life. They will make you want to level up, however that may be. This is the house of wish fulfillments. You will have an intense focus on building and working on your dreams and wishes. It may come off as obsessive to a point. The 11h is also the house of collective wealth, things you’ve earned over the years finally building. How you view society as a whole especially online will be different, I think being more private online will be beneficial to you.
12h
Buy you a dream journal or get a notebook to track your dreams! Anytime a planet enters the house of the subconscious mind, expect some crazy dreams. With Pluto being the planet, expect heavy dreams. You may have prophetic dreams about the collective (people). This is a time where you explore the depths of your whole being. The 12h rules over our subconscious mind, things buried and hidden will boil to the surface. This is also the spiritual house, you may be going through lots of spiritual awakening or the new age phrase “dark night of soul” you will do lots of healing and become empowered if you do the work. 12h also rules over past lives, so Pluto will bubble up those past life traumas, karmic patterns. Your psychic gifts will strengthen, you may unlock gifts you didn’t know you had. Powerful time for you!
#astrology#astrology community#knowledge#love astrology#astro observations#advanced astrology#kakiastro#tropical astrology#pluto in aquarius#pluto astrology#Pluto Aquarius in the houses#birth chart
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HAII im late but here’s my entry for the matchups thing 🥹🥹
name: logan ⭐️
preferred anime: jjk !!
preferred gender: you can roll the dice for me 🤓
fave thing abt the holidays: definitely the weather, if we’re talking abt christmas in the northern hemisphere i love when it gets cold bc im so used to living in tropical weathers n i love wearing sweaters when i go out, also im lowkey domestic as fuck so spending it w the ppl i love in my family is also nice 🥹
personality wise i come off pretty unserious 80% of the time but it’s all in jest, i truthfully struggle with expressing my raw emotions/thoughts out loud sometimes so im more of an action person (my love language is quality time which explains it pretty well, i basically am very much a “i dont know how to tell you i like being with you in a way that fully encompasses it so let me make up for that by dedicating all of my time to you”). also my aesthetics/interests and overall likes tend to lean more towards anything alt/niche and ‘nonconforming’ as i have this innate desire to be as unique as possible (yes i was an edgy not like other girls teenager and yes i regret it) but i draw inspiration from the world around me and i could never see myself without the people i hold dear to my heart :’) im also a huge nerd lol im a stem major specifically astrophysics and i like to think im pretty smart but just suck at explaining/teaching things to others so yeah. this is probably more than u even needed from me but i hope this works !! 😭
hi logan!!!! its soooo good to get to know u more and i hope u know that i am so excited to get to know ever MORE! but for this wintery match up today, i match you with:
GOJO SATORU !
listen, i think gojo lowkey loves that ur like shy w ur affection and is always teasing you abt it!! he tries to get u to say u love him n he’s always always trying to make u blush or get flustered!!! he thinks it’s such a treat when you finally, finally tell him you love him and will absolutely smother you in affection when you do! he says, yeah i’ll love you enough for the both of us, baby, don’t even worry. he also loves! loves that you’re smart and that he can talk to you about his jujutsu and even can explain the limits of it and the mechinations in a way that he can’t with ppl that don’t understand physics/calculus. he thinks it’s so nice to be able to have someone even remotely on the same level as him in terms of like,, his jujutsu!! and i think that he’d also appreciate how you were so much smarter than him in certain aspects. he also loves ur perspective on life and i can see y’all having vvv nice convos abt the world and how both of you see it!!! it’s just such a wholesome lil couple and ik that he’s ur fave but i truly think y’all would get along rlly well and have good convos. and he would be so teasing and pretend to be hurt when u say smth lowkey mean and make u give him kisses and apology!!!
RUNNER UPS: ⠀ ෆ none ⠀ ⠀ ⤿ tbh i lit cant think of anyone else that would be a ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ better match for you loge!!!
gojo laughs with his chest as you brush at your hair, eyes concentrated and brows furrowed as you try to get the melting snow out of your hair. his chest is light, full of joy and happiness at the ease of which he feels with you. “baby, why are you so grumpy? it’s just a little snow in your hair.”
“i know it’ll melt, but my hair was so cute tonight!” you grumble, hands clutching onto gojo’s as he attempts to tuck a stray piece behind your ear. “ugh, whatever. let’s just keep walking.”
“okay, princess.” he knows not to argue with you, because he’s smart and he loves you. “want to get a coffee at that cafe?”
“yes please.” you pout, tucking yourself as close to gojo as you can for warmth. putting an arm over your shoulder, he rests his head on your not-so-soggy hair. “i can pay.”
“don’t insult me like that.” he huffs, tugging on a piece of your hair gently. he loves to spoil you, and you just hate letting him have his way. too bad you were stuck with him now, though.
back to main masterlist
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They’ve fired close to 20 ppl at my job in the last 3 weeks including a senior manager. I do my job well but can’t help but feel nervous even after being told I’m safe (I’ve believed that lie before). Everyone is tense a distrustful.
Any advice on navigating this situation?
Make sure your work is visible, as in if there’s anything you’ve been doing on the low or anything you’ve slowly become the expert or go-to person on, draw attention to it. It’s as simple as saying things like “I’ve finished xyz” as if you just want to be accountable and transparent for everyone else’s sake.
The important thing to not be laid off is to be someone who can’t be lost, which means doing work that is invaluable. Things that are hard to onboard people into, knowledge that’s hard to transfer, etc. That does become easier the longer you’re at a job. Look for ways that your job impacts revenue, and always be ready to speak towards it. One of the reasons that marketing usually goes out the door first is that they spend a lot of money, and it’s only indirectly tied to revenue. The sweet spot is to be cheaper labor (in the grand scheme of things) while directly tied to revenue: I make sales, I create product, I shepherd the pipeline, I close invoices, etc. If you see an opening or need like that in your job, express interest in cross training. If you’ve been following the big tech cuts this year, they’re not gutting hourly workers who directly impact customer experience or tangible product creators, they’re firing middle management. That’s not to say being a manager is bad, but the hierarchy can get bloated in hearty times, and if there’s a supervisor, then a lead, then a senior lead, then a manager, then a director, in hard times the question is “why can’t the supervisor answer to the director? Why do we have so many people in this chain?” especially as those middle management positions getting further from the day-to-day yet not quite in business development decision making positions. So you have to ask yourself, what value are you bringing the organization? How much can you speak towards boots-on-the-ground tasks of the day to day that makes money for the company? Make sure you don’t lose sight of that as you move up or even laterally.
As an example: say you work for a software manufacturer, and support calls that come in get logged into tickets that are then charged back to the clients who buy the software for their company. If you are picking up phone calls and logging tickets, you’re grunt work but you’re doing billable work, the company doesn’t want to lose too many of those people. Let’s say there are supervisors to these people, that also take support calls but only half the time bc they’re managing everyone’s breaks, stepping into thorny calls, doing hands on training and mentoring, doing operations stuff no one really wants to do like proofread tickets and compiling metrics, but these are things the clients ask for so it’s important to maintaining those relationships. Now let’s say there are two managers to this group, and neither of them take support calls, they don’t do any billable work, but one has been doing the bulk of liasioning with clients while the other is spending a lot of time approving time off and making spreadsheets from the metrics the supervisors pull and has been handing off some of the client communications to his colleague or even some of the supervisors directly under him. If both these managers are getting paid the same, he’s at the most risk bc the question becomes how do we consolidate non-billable work under fewer salaries - “can no one else learn to do these spreadsheets? Can manager #1 not do all the time off requests?”
The other advice is to not panic. :) Every day you work at this job is a day to squeeze it for what it’s worth for YOUR benefit. If your job needs to do a round of lay-offs now, it might be worth it to ask yourself instead of “am I safe?” to “is this company surviving long term?” and make whatever maneuvers you need to make to get a job with more security. Good luck!!
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ahhh i was held hostage in your page for hours, sweat-drenched and everything omg i sriously love you for your writings and the sex talk is always so so good. if u feel up to it, pls write jihoon (orr wonwoo or whoever u like) accidentally watch a masturbating video u sent just to tease him (with loud ass moanings of his name as u come), on his livestream. no pressure, love u so so much <33.
-b
actually sending you a forehead kiss bc wtf this was so sweet i could literally cry 🥲
you don’t know whether to laugh out of embarrassment or endearment. when you sent jihoon a video of you fucking yourself while moaning his name, you didn’t expect him to open it while he was live. but now here you are, watching his mortified expression as he tries to pretend that thousands of ppl didn’t just hear what was on his phone screen.
part of you thinks it’s brave of him to keep the live going after while the other part wishes he would just shut it off and come help you relieve the ache in your cunt.
luckily, you don’t have to wait long.
when he gets home and finds you in your shared bed wearing only your underwear, he lets out a frustrated groan. jihoon discards his clothes as he goes to join you on the bed, eyes dark with lust.
“you’re such a fucking brat.”
his tone is whiny and slightly angry, but the way he’s nuzzling your tits and softly rutting his leaking cock on the bed lets you know that his arousal is stronger than any other emotion he’s feeling. you smirk, treading your fingers through his silky locks.
“just wanted you so bad.” you sigh, other hand smoothing down his back to push him closer to you.
the fact that you’re not sorry is the reason you find your face shoved into a pillow while jihoon is pounding into you from behind. your moans are stifled, but still fill the room. his throbbing cock is hitting deep inside you while his balls slap your aching clit. his pace is relentless, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
“do you know how hard you made me?” he growls, sounding like a hungry beast.
a sharp slap on your ass makes you cry out, cunt clenching around his veiny cock. you smirk into the pillow, knowing you’re in for a long night.
#(s)creaming#this man has been coming for me lately#he’s so hot#ugh love him#love u also btw#b nonny#nalani.thotz
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What would be exemples of way of being performative for other people? I’ve isolated myself for the last few years cause I’ve always felt like I could never truly be myself with other people mostly because I don’t trust anyone or anything except for me (I’m the only thing that has ever remained, I don’t think I could ever like truly trust someone below surface level)
one if the biggest things i learned when it comes to not trusting others is that its often about not trusting ourselves. people will judge us, hurt us, let us down, basically do everything we dont want them to do and fear them doing. but we'll never meet the ones who can prove that wrong if we dont allow ourselves to be open. when you lose the ability to express yourself and your heart because of harmful experiences, the experience wins & you lose in not letting it teach you. dont give it that power. im sure your a beautiful person, thats part of what led you to remain & stand strong for yourself. so trust that the next person to hurt you cant break your confidence in that. they cant take you from you. do the work. love yourself. learn how to assert boundaries (boundaries not barriers!) so that your relationshios w others dont interfere w how you show up for yourself. learn what you do want, what you dont want, and how to let go of what you think you want when its showing you its the opposite. you have what it takes to pick yourself up and put yourself out there again! your effort will not betray you & like florence scovel shinn says a person who is willing to do a thing finds they no longer need to do it. once u come as u are, u will find ur people <3
& as for examples. i was basically a prop. i could never set boundaries in the sense of 'hey this is me this is what i like. this is what i dont like' because i didnt know. my sense of self and comfort stemmed directly from if i was making people around me feel good. if i was, i felt safe and i felt invisible. if i couldnt fix it, id sit in their sadness with them. it was a bad habit but also also a symptom of cptsd. i was also hyper sensitive so would read the ppl around me's emotions and reactions to know which version of myself i could be. so id walk into a room of people, and gauge who was safe, who wasnt, what people wanted, what they didnt want, what they expected or would appreciate from me, and what they wouldnt, and id literally become that very person/thing so that i didnt have to be/feel rejected or have too much focus put on me and what i actually was for fear of being attacked for it, or attacked period. id never do expressive things, even alone in my own house, & i mean basic things like dance or sing or play too loudly for fear of being mocked or spoken badly to and it got so intense id stage 'acting normal' when i was alone cause i thought i was being watched by hidden cameras. i had no autonomy or sense of self. i simply existed to do things that made others feel better & over time i was so fragmented within that i was completely detached from any concept of myself, or my emotions and my needs. my sense of self worth = how i was able to meet the needs of others or the mood of those around me. hope i answered ur question. wishing u strength of heart and mind <3 lots of love
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“noticeable lack of passion in everything these days. Everyone can feel it, everyone is talking about it. Everything now is "cringe", or "doing too much", or "not that serious". Actually, it is that serious”. Thank you for saying this. I hate how everything is seen in these ways and it makes me so sad for society that we don’t even let ppl enjoy things anymore. We should never feel bad about our own passions and interests but many of us do for these reasons. We should/let others love everything to the fullest extent without judgment (unless it’s harming yourself/others). I think a big reason why there’s a lack of passion these days bc 1. Ppl get embarrassed to express themselves for the reasons above 2. We live in such a fast paste society where we are constantly moving on to the next big fad so there’s “no time” to be passionate about something. I could go on and on but I’ll keep it at this for now. Thanks for taking the time to write this, I found a lot of the points you brought up very interesting and important<3
Hello very much :)
I thought about making a video on this topic but I decided to just write it out in a post instead. Either way, I'd like to speak a bit more specifically about a drunk rant I made on a separate account the other day that was not as well put together as I'd like to stand as my viewpoints on the subject.
tl:dr, I just feel as though there's a lack of sincerity in the world these days. I speak from personal experience as an artist putting things out into the world, yes, but also as a human being interacting with other human beings on the regular, and I have had my sentiments echoed by many other friends of mine over the past year or so, both artists and non-artists alike. Most of this will be framed through the consumption of art, because that's my own personal passion in this life of mine, but also the way we interface with each other and process the world around us. Now, don't get me wrong, I love to laugh. I love a good joke, and I love lightheartedness as much as the next person. But I saw someone this morning put it very succinctly in response to my rant, something along the lines of "don't let the joke about it overtake the source material." It feels as though it's a common occurrence these days to take a pinch of something with a lot more weight to it, often a humorous bit, and then run with it. Everyone then gathers around the pinch to ooh and ahh and consume it as a whole. Context is immediately lost, the legacy of that body of work becomes its own caricature, and anyone discovering that body of work via said caricature may forgo a piece of art they would otherwise love because "there's nothing there". And don't think this is me griping at those making jokes at the expense of my art. I make jokes about my own art. But when the joke dies, yet continues to grow, and spread, and finds its way back to me both on the internet and off for months (or, God forbid, years) to come, I can't help but say to myself; what the fuck is happening. Artists have fled the public and all their outlets for personality and expression outside the medium because they feel ridiculed. It's not even just their art. Katya comes to mind, speaking on how she went on youtube live a few years back in literal tears talking about police brutality and the injustices marginalized communities were facing at the hands of the government. Meanwhile, the entire comment section "yass" and "mother"ed her in barrages, not paying attention to anything she had to say. I get asked about when I'm dropping Preacher's Daughter vinyl en masse in response to my Palestine fundraiser links. It's everywhere and it's inescapable. No one can be serious for even two seconds.
This may all sound obnoxious; so be it. I tie strings from this central problem to many other complaints I have heard repeated ad nauseam the past few years. For example; the death of subculture. Goth, punk, whatever, you name it. People who built an underground counterculture movement with a rich history based on a love of art, community, and otherwise misunderstood worldviews and experiences deemed foul or inappropriate. Now we see bits taken from it, the terms and the looks, without any of the meat, spread thin across society as a whole. Words mean nothing anymore. One can rest on history and say they were a part of it when in fact, they did nothing. No appreciation or understanding to be had for the love and passion that built it. No serious interaction with the culture's very real confines and boundaries, just mindless co-opting. This has just as much to do with late stage capitalism as it does with excessive humor in lieu of sincerity, but it's certainly both. Again, this may sound like a silly complaint, but I don't care. The collective ennui we're all experiencing has a very real reason, whether we're ready to acknowledge or not.
In a twisted thread, it's even tied to our lack of care to change the world around us. People cheer on the idea of communism, but who among us is ready to give up the convenience of society as it stands? Amazon prime, doordash, fresh fruit out of season as I saw someone mention in a similar post last week; the marvels of modern technology. Do we really think these things can last in a society that isn't actively destroying the planet? We talk about the idea of something all day long but have very little to do with the actuality of what we're talking about. And don't think I consider myself exempt from this problem. I couldn't even try to claim to be. It seems nearly silly to be complaining, then, about the way people consume the art around them these days as we creep towards what feels like the end of days. But as long as I still draw breath, I must complain.
I miss genuine passion. As an autistic individual, when I'm alone, sometimes I cannot contain myself with how things make me feel. The music I listen to, the video games I play, the books I read. I almost feel the need to run through the house and scream in everyone's face how I'm feeling. It feels good to love intensely. Now, I won't pretend like autistic people haven't been bullied for this since the dawn of time, but there is surely a noticeable lack of passion in everything these days. Everyone can feel it, everyone is talking about it. Everything now is "cringe", or "doing too much", or "not that serious". Actually, it is that serious. Insecurity in one's own deeper feelings may not be a new thing, but a culture that seems to promote this eschewing of them does seem to be a new evil. The tone of the internet has completely shifted. I spent most of my time here when I first discovered it a little over a decade ago on Zelda forums and other chat-based websites, talking about how much I loved whatever fandom I was in at the time and having genuine and memorable interactions with like-minded individuals who felt the same way I do. Now, you have two options; if you hate media, you rip it to shreds, and if you love it, you word-salad it to death and parrot a joke about it that someone else said. I'm not saying people don't still talk seriously in a heartfelt way about the things they love, but it does not seem to be the initial reaction anymore. Do I have a solution to this problem? Of course not. I'm a 26 year old girl posting on a tumblr blog. If I had a solution, this is not where I would be dropping it. But conversation is God to man, and I believe in the ability to change things from the inside out. We make the rules, and we can change them.
Before I go, I'd like to just clarify that I am very grateful for my career, grateful to anyone who has ever given me and my art the time of day, grateful to anyone who has ever come up to me and connected with me over my work, and grateful for a life where someone making too many jokes is the worst part of my day. I do not think I am better nor smarter than anyone on or off the internet. I am simply a girl with big feelings and I enjoy talking about them with other people with big feelings, and it makes me sad when something avoidable or unnecessary gets in the way of that.
All in all, I love to love, and I love all of you, I love my life, I love this record, and mi amore vo- i mean.... oh, whatever.
(Feel free to sound off in the comments and please be nice to each other)
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“Why do you get meltdowns over X? Why do you need to stim?”
Think back to a time when you really had to use the bathroom. Maybe you were on an airplane; aisles are small, bathrooms are all the way in the back, and you’re in a window seat. Maybe you were at work; boss breathing down your neck with no time to take a break. Maybe you just forgot until it was really bad; you were reading the best book you’ve ever read, and in the hours it took you to finish those chapters, you didn’t tend to your bladder.
How did you feel, in that time between you noticing the need to pee and you getting to the bathroom?
Sucks, right? You’re constantly thinking about the bathroom. Sure, you can kinda hold it, but you really can’t hold it that long, because your kidneys don’t exactly have off buttons. The pressure is building. You might even be in pain. The physical stress is constant, intrusive, and unable to be dispelled until you take care of that need.
Telling someone to stop stimming (and then being surprised when they have a meltdown) is like telling someone to “just hold it, it’s not that hard” when they’re dying to use the bathroom. If you desperately had to go and someone informed you that you couldn’t, because using the bathroom would be impolite or look strange, you would not last very long. Either you’d break and yell/cry/scream/run until that need gets met, or your body would meet it for you, and you’d have to face the consequences of that.
Stimming is a need. Autistic people stim to self regulate, to express emotion, and to expend excess energy. It is a coping skill, it is healthy, and it is not something you can just stop needing. “Stop stimming.” “Just hold it.”
And when your needs aren’t met, sometimes your body will meet them for you, and you need to face the consequences of that. Meltdowns are not just tantrums or being misbehaved. Meltdowns are an autistic person’s last resort when they cannot regulate the stress that’s been stacking up. That stress isn’t just from academics or work; for someone with sensory issues, unpleasant sensory input is a stressor. For someone who finds social activities draining, social interaction is a stressor. For someone who relies on routine, an interruption is a stressor. This is not always a controllable thing; stressors happen when your needs are not met. Stress stacks up, the necessary coping mechanisms are stymied, and the body cracks under the strain because there is nothing else to do.
So next time you see someone frown and hum when they wash dishes, or flap their hands when they’re excited, or express “Sorry, I can’t eat that food” in a singsong tone, check yourself before you start making comments. Don’t be the person that says “Just hold it. It’s not that hard.” It is that hard.
This also goes for ADHD ppl btw. Don’t come at me w the whole “oh but if u fidget that means ur not paying attention” that’s not how ADHD works. Let the person stim. It’s a need (a distinct need, but still a need).
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Match MVP
Pairing: Eren Yeager x gn!reader
Summary: Your teammates are mean to you in a video game, so your boyfriend Eren steps in for you.
Tags: fluff, degrading/mean comments (not from Eren), baby as a pet name
“What the hell are you shooting at?” You wince at your teammate’s harsh voice in your headphones.
You just wanted to play some games and relax a bit, but sometimes you forget how mean the random players you get matched with can be. It doesn’t help that today was clearly not your day – you were missing all your shots and had a grand total of 2 kills halfway through the game.
“Do everyone a favour and just delete the game,” another laughed and you feel the anger and shame boil inside your gut. You wish you had something snarky to say back, but in times like this your mind always seems to go blank. What’s wrong with liking a game and wanting to play it even if you’re not that good at it?
You want to disappear (or show them the greatest comeback they’ve ever seen and become Match MVP, but that hardly ever happens).
You begin muting your teammates, unaware that your boyfriend was now behind you, watching.
“Did they say something?” Eren looks at you in concern.
“No,” you try to laugh it off, and the crease between Eren’s eyebrows grows deeper, but he doesn’t push it and settles for standing behind you, arms wrapped around your upper body and head leaning on your shoulders.
A few more rounds go by with you doing more or less the same, and you hope that they don’t notice you’re not playing by their strategy because you’ve muted them. To be honest, you don’t even want to play anymore, but you’re not about to risk your account getting banned for leaving the match early. Eventually, to your horror, they begin to spam the chatbox.
“can u hit a single shot?”
“bruh i said go A”
“how are u this bad lmfao”
You silently pray that Eren isn’t paying attention, but you feel his head turn towards you, breath on your cheeks.
“These bastards…”
“Eren calm down, it’s fine,” you try to say, but the quivering of your voice doesn’t even fool yourself.
Eren tries to calm himself down at your state, wanting to be reliable for you.
“Want me to take over?”
You meekly nod and hand him your headphones.
Before you know it, the game ends in your victory and Eren (aka “you”) being Match MVP.
Eren quickly unmutes your teammates and tells them off, making it halfway through his rant before the game’s load screen ends.
“Aww, I wasn’t done! They can’t talk to you like that!” He pouts. You can’t help but laugh at his expression.
“I know, they shouldn’t talk to anyone like that. But let’s not focus on them anymore, yeah? They’re not worth the energy.” You cup Eren’s face in your hands and stare into his eyes. “Thank you.”
He blushes, heat crawling up his face at your sincerity. “Of course.” He returns your look. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Mm, I’m still a little shaken, but it felt so good that you beat them all,” you smile. “I wish people weren’t so negative and judgmental all the time.”
Eren smiles at you. “If everyone was like my baby the world would be a better place.” He envelopes you in a bear hug. “Let’s get some takeout and relax, yeah?”
You can’t stop the smile that spreads across your face as you melt into his touch. “Yeah, let’s.”
quick lil rant piece bc ppl being mean in games makes me so sad u don’t have to be a master at something to just enjoy it or try it (the game in the fic is valorant btw bc i’m projecting : D)
#eren yeager x reader#eren yeager fluff#eren fluff#eren x reader#eren jeager x reader#eren jeager fluff#attack on titan fluff#attack on titan x reader#aot fluff#aot x reader
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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS [part 5]
— people with jupiter in the 8th may experience an “abundance” of traumatic experiences throughout life, often relating to death; these are the people who truly feel like everyone they love ends up dying. at their worst, they can become desensitized to death— jupiter is ruled by sagittarius, a sign known for being in denial when in difficult situations in favor of optimism. these natives can pretend like nothing actually happened, or minimize the situation in their head so that they don’t have to face it.
— okay this might be a weird one... like, you know in asoiaf when arya was walking through the streets and was always like “i’m as quiet as a shadow”? that’s literally the energy of someone with planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house. these people are so stealthy. they’re able to move so quietly and without anyone noticing, both literally and figuratively. on one hand, they’re very quiet about their plans and ambitions to the point where other people only find out when they’re achieving success over it; on the other hand, they just. don’t like making noise while walking idk bitch you’ll only see me coming when i’m right beside you, i even get paranoid that i’m breathing too loud and that other people will hear
— people with moon aspecting mars can be incredibly impulsive when they feel hurt or triggered. yall need to be careful with doing things in the heat of the moment that you know you’ll regret later... but in the moment, you feel so hurt that it clouds your rational side. please be more self-aware about this because you may make decisions that will directly affect you for the worse in the future
— people with leo mars ft. constantly asking you for pictures... about anything. they just wanna SEE LMFAO THEY DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS THEY’RE SEEING. you just got ready to go out? “send pics of your makeup and your full outfit”. you’re waiting in a long boring line to get the covid vaccine? “send pics of the line”. your mom baked cake? “send pics of the cake”. plus they send so many random pictures while texting, it’s their special love language
— having moon conjunct moon/venus in synastry feels insane. you tell them something you’ve been through, and they’re immediately like “that happened with me as well.” it doesn’t even have to be something grand, sometimes just very specific things you thought were particular about you. the amount of understanding that comes with this aspect in synastry can feel very new and intense especially if you’re used to seeing yourself as the “odd one out”, used to feeling isolated in your experiences
— people with pluto in the 1st house often feel the need to erase “traces” of their existence, for example deleting messages that they sent people, deleting all of their social media posts. they can feel anxious and paranoid about other people having access to their past self, even if the past self in question is from, like. a week ago
— people with chiron in the water houses (4th/8th/12th) might’ve suffered bullying to the point where they repress their memories. a lot of their memories of their school years may feel foggy if they were bullied in those years
— also. people with chiron in the 8th house may feel as though they’ve been punished for wanting to experience intimacy. it’s like, the people who were supposed to be the closest to them – for example, their sibling or something – were the ones who hurt them the most.
— people with mercury-neptune aspects and strong pisces/neptune energy in their birth chart might struggle with only remembering things when they’re right in front of them. you should keep things in your peripheral vision to remind you of reality, especially when it comes to feelings— so that you won’t start getting lost inside your own head. like... keep the letters your friends wrote you by your bedside table so you can read them every time your brain starts convincing you that you’re not loved. keep the gifts you’ve been sent on display in your bedroom wall, or sentimental material things that remind you of past happy experiences.
— earth placements and their thing for asmr... omfg. it’s like they’re always looking for things to up their sensory experience/sensitivity. like, earth signs are the ones most connected to worldly experiences so they feel so soothed with the whole asmr experience: just hearing someone gently whispering or tapping on/scratching things calms them down and helps them fall asleep. they love the tingles it’s heaven for them
— moon-saturn aspects might hold and caress themselves while they sleep because their parents never did. yes i woke up and chose violence <3 your secret is NOT safe with me 💋
— while we’re on the topic of sleeping, a majority of the pisces moons i know need to sleep while hugging something, at least a pillow. they can’t just not hug something while they sleep, it’s very instinctive for them. anyways if any pisces moon needs a pillow to hold, i volunteer as tribute 💋
— virgo placements feel sososo soothed by hearing their cats purr. thinking about how my virgo placement friends are always the ones who send me videos of them petting their cats... and then i get soothed by how soothed they feel. it’s a win win situation, if you have virgo placements it’s hereby your duty to send me a video of you petting your cat while they purr. right now. GO
— people with gemini in the 3rd house might have shaky movements of the hands when other people look at them doing things. very specific i know but the third house rules hands and gemini is a sign that has somewhat of an anxious, twitchy quality to it. on the other hand, people with capricorn in the 3rd house (scorpio risings, using whole signs) have the steadiest hands i’ve ever seen lol their movements ooze confidence, these bitches know how to make you feel as thought they know exactly what they’re doing
— people with venus in the 1st house ft. altering their pics with photoshop and hating posting selfies without filters because they never feel like their appearance is good enough. stop it. you don’t need to always look your best and especially not if your ‘best’ isn’t even what you actually look like. also... don’t even think about making self-deprecative jokes about your appearance. next time i find one of yall saying “ahaha im not bad for a 5 without talent” i’m squishing your head between 2 pieces of toast and calling you an idiot sandwich. you’re BEAUTIFUL
— having venus in the 3rd house in composite with someone? do you mean calling each other the absolute ugliest nicknames in the most endearing way?
— leo deals with themes of the ego, and it seems that leo placements often struggle with attracting narcissistic people into their life... leo suns/mercuries can be raised by loud, overbearing, narcissistic parents who see their kid as an extension of themselves and who teach the kid to always be very supportive and caring towards them or else they’ll deny them of words of affirmation-- either by insulting them to shatter their self-esteem or simply never complimenting the kid back. leo moons/mars/venus tend to attract narcissistic partners who only care about serving their own emotional needs and ignore the ones of their partner, and who feed off of their supportive and giving nature. which is why leo placements really need to watch out for being gullible, naïve and dismissing the red flags because my god, you be falling for some shady people.
— people with personal planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house might feel like they can’t let go of their past life— they may dream of memories, people or places from another life. it’s like they can’t detach from it, and even if they can’t directly remember their past life, it’s like they feel it in their bones. also, they might’ve felt... estranged from their family ever since childhood; there may have been feelings of being unable to emotionally connect to their (often, distant) parents, and they might’ve even wondered if they were adopted because of how different they felt to the rest of the family.
— okay so, a thing that people with saturn in the 3rd house need to look out for is mentally checking out of conversations while they’re still happening. these people can detect when they’re being manipulated really fast and their way of dealing with it can be to immediately shut down, to grow cold and silent and not even bother answering when you’re expected to respond. and, like, that’s great when someone starts screaming at you or being insulting/trying to coerce you into shit, but take notice if you find yourself shutting your loved ones out as soon as they say anything that triggers you. don’t simply detach from them, communicate what’s wrong
— aries placements, ESPECIALLY aries suns and moons, value generosity so much and they get so turned off by stingy ppl who don’t share with others, especially when others need it. like.. if you’re hanging out in a group with them and someone asks for a bite of your food because they have no money and you say no... espect them to never respect you. ever.
— people with libra placements use soooo many adjectives to describe things. something can’t just be beautiful, it has to be DIVINE and CELESTIAL and INTOXICATING. they can be so expressive god it’s so fcking funny
— capricorn placements HATE asking others for advice because they think no one knows better than them (and they’re not wrong, lol). when they truly care for someone, they might ask the person for advice simply as a sign that they respect, trust and value their judgement. even if they don’t plan on taking it LMFAO
— people with mars in a water sign can have this terrible habit of expecting other people to guess what they want. and then they get passive agressive when you don’t instinctively feel what it is they want... and when you ask them “do you want this?”, they go like “FINALLY. i thought you’d never get there”. stop it. i know that you want people to understand you in a way that transcends words, but you can’t expect people to read your mind and then get disappointed when they don’t, thinking “oh if they loved me that much then they would’ve known that i really want chipotle for dinner :(” GIRL WHAT. COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS
#astrology#scorpio mars#pisces mars#cancer mars#libra#aries#aries moon#saturn in the 3rd house#moon-saturn#chart ruler in the 12th house#leo#leo moon#leo mars#leo mercury#leo venus#venus in the 3rd house in composite#venus in the 1st house#gemini in the 3rd house#capricorn in the 3rd house#virgo#pisces moon#taurus#capricorn#mercury-neptune aspects#moon-mars aspects#pisces dominance#neptune dominance#moon conjunct moon in synastry#moon conjunct venus in synastry#chiron in the 4th house
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Hey! I used to be rlly similar to you :) trying to find a label and not knowing where i fit, yk? I’ll tell u rn tho I’m not aro, my experience has been with gender and sexuality, but I still wanted to tell u smth I wish I knew when I was questioning:
You don’t need to have a label to prove urself. If u genuinely are trying to find a label to find community and belonging cool! But also know that you don’t need to have a label or name to who you are to be valid or to belong
Be patient with yourself, like you said you’re young! And it’s a time of a lot of mental and physical development that brings a lot of feelings to it, which means it arises things of ur identity you didn’t realize, but also means that your perception of yourself and the world is very experimental due to emotions and limited experiences, and it can make it very hard to pinpoint a single feeling, must harder a name for it!
It’s not at all a bad thing, I know it feels frustrating to not just know and get it over with, but it isn’t meant to be a chore it’s meant to be something that makes it easier to connect w ppl similar to u as well as easier to communicate your preferences, but you are STILL very much valid without a label and pressuring urself to find it can end up really confusing, like it is now
I’d say to be patient, to allow urself to grow into ur identity and, with time, find the identities and communities that appeal to you. You are in no rush to live your life, let the stages burn away as you actively live it. You can still enjoy your feelings without having a name with it.
Me personally I feel a lot more comfortable without a label, I just tell ppl I’m queer and honey with the way that I dress and express myself they already knew, and if they ask specifically I tell them if I want to! Sometimes I just don’t bc I dont want to specify and am comfortable with the vagueness (I’ll make a ur mom joke instead). I have also realized I’m poly, and more recently found it applies to friendships too, ending up with me seeking a QPR, she said yes!! And the reason I felt so alright with myself exploring this side of me is because I already took away my own expectations to label myself
That’s why I felt I should write this, because while your journey will differ from mine as we all do, I wanted to lyk how my own experiences shaped my “label”, and it reminded me a lot of myself, even if it ends up going another direction
Whether you decide to take this into account or not, I send you much love finding yourself, it’s one of the most beautiful parts of growing up, you got this!
Guys I need some help I keep trying new things but none rlly seem to work other than me being ace...I say I'm aroflux but I don't seem to rlly fluctuate often and the same thing happened when I identified as genderfluid rn I'm going by agender but I don't rlly feel genderless nor do I rlly feel like any gender damn this stuff is confusing -_-
Again I also feel like I'm too young to be questioning this much but I rlly wanna find a label that fits me
#aromantic#aroace#aro#arospec#ace#labels#queer labels#queer#queer community#lgbtq#lgtbqia+#lgtbtq#lgbtqia
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𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚜🦄💜
do not plagiarize. all of this is my work.
𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
dreamy. big on makeup, enhancing your looks. eyes are usually round/almond. the best feature of their face are their eyes. so many gorgeous girl celebs have this. has a dreamy look, but may also look like a fish tbh lmao. sympathizes w/strangers. usually tender hearted manners, and lovely vibe. shy/reserved. you’re like a sponge. if someone is being bitchy, chances are you will be too. keeps personal life on the down low. can be unrealistic.
celebrities:Kylie Jenner, Marilyn Monroe, Jim Carrey, Denzel Washington
𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
voice is probably chill, or has a soft vibe to it. voice may also be naturally low. remember it’s nice to be generous, but not too generous. don’t just give your money away easily, or to just anybody. make sure the money, or possessions you give away are put to good use. don’t be naive w/your money/possessions. the clothes you buy are probably creative/artsy or discreet/low key. focus on loving yourself. seafood lover or hater lol. might like “weird” foods. indulgent.
celebrities:Jennifer Aniston, Tina Turner, Muhammad Ali, Dwayne Johnson
𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
thinks unconventionally. you may lack communication w/siblings. may be great at poetry, writing in general. writing is probably unique, and beautiful. may love the beach or lakes, traveling to places with water lol. siblings may have pisces/neptune influence in their chart. the reserved student. might have a soft spot for math, english, or art classes. visionary.
celebrities:Madonna, Dua Lipa, Keanu Reeves, Ryan Reynolds
𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
parents may have been absent, or neglectful. parents may have also been addicted to substances(alcohol, drugs, even food, etc). parents may have sheltered you from certain things, that you had to learn a different way(puberty, sex in general, etc) might’ve been raised by other ppl than their bio parents, but if it’s positive, parents may have taught you to be creative, and sweet. this indicates the childhood house being near water or wanting it to be, or even being aesthetic lol. may have love fantasy growing up, fantasy movies/shows, mystical creatures, etc. childhood memories may be foggy. you’re distinctive/stand out, but you may also be over-sensitive.
celebrities:Emma Watson, Jessica Alba, Johnny Depp, Robert De Niro
𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
may have “pisces” traits in the dating world(wears rose tinted glasses, loving, naive, selfless, etc). try not to put your partner on a pedestal too high, cause then you might be disappointed. you may get too caught up in the moment, so birth control may be your best friend. i’ve heard of ppl w/this placement that had unexpected pregnancies. your hobbies range from painting, singing, inventing, sleeping, binge-watching, daydreaming, hanging out, astrology, and if on the bad side drugs/alcohol. children may have pisces/neptune influence in chart. very artistic ppl.
celebrities:Angelina Jolie,Cameron Diaz, Drake, Elon Musk
𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚒𝚡𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
don’t stress so easily. when stressed, letting your creativity may help how you feel, or just letting it all out(crying, writing in a diary, etc). sleeping probably even helps your stress lmao. may be a vegan/vegetarian since they adore animals sm. neptune rules pisces which is represented by fish, so a fish may be an ideal pet. if not then a cat, as cats are mysterious. may not prioritize their health. may love junk food. likes being an helping hand, so may put themselves out there to help certain organizations, ppl, etc. i feel like these ppl probably shower/bath more than once a day. you’re very considerate.
celebrities:Selena Gomez, Drew Barrymore, Will Smith, John Lennon
𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
attracts ppl with pisces/neptune in chart, platonic and/or romantic. enemies also tend to have pisces/neptune energy. ppl you attract may be cheaters/liars, so watch out. they may also be really romantic or obsessive/delusional. you may attract damaged souls, that may end up trying to put their damage on you. make sure to set limits in love. but on the bright side, you may attract ppl w/positive pisces traits(dreamy, selfless, good listener, etc). senseless in love. believes in fairytales. you’re gregarious.
celebrities:Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Denise Richards, Ashton Kutcher
𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙴𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
prefers to fuck ppl they have a connection with. may like to have sex in water(showers, bath, jacuzzi, etc)or near it(beach,lake, etc). sex can take you away from the real world. emotions are powerful. got some psychic shit going on😂. dreams are usually in depth, and interesting. might hide vulnerable side. death may be bc of drugs, alcohol, etc. also you may drown, die in water in general or die in your sleep. death may also be mysterious(going missing, not knowing the cause of death, etc). may be moody.
celebrities:Whitney Houston, Demi Moore, Michael Jackson, George Clooney
𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙽𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
flexible mind. may go to college for drama, artsy jobs, etc. probably believes in religious miracles. probably loves traveling to places with water, so an island is your best bet/not a landlocked country. may be fascinated w/other cultures. in laws may have pisces traits(positive:loving, good listeners, considerate negative:manipulative/backstabbing, liars, addicted to substances, etc). try not to accidentally join a cult lmao.
celebrities:Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, Heath Ledger, Jimi Hendrix
𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
(i’m gonna say “we” cause this is my placement☺️)
if you’re famous, fans will fantasize abt you/crush on you. will have a career where they can express themselves(acting, singing, painting, etc), water related(marines, scuda diver, etc) or one that helps ppl since neptune is selfless(mental health, hospital, paramedic, humanitarian, etc). we can’t decide what we want to do in the future 😂, might even have multiple jobs. we may be known as romantic, sweet/loving, selfless, naive and other pisces traits. we’re usually so creative, and charming that ppl copy off of us(ik that’s said a lot but it’s true), we’re 💫inspiring💫. on the bad side, our reputation can be messed with since ppl make rumors abt us, and neptune rules illusion. good at coming up w/ideas, and inventions. resourceful, but can be off track.
celebrities:Christina Aguilera, Kourtney Kardashian, Matt Damon, Bruno Mars
𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙴𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
friends may have neptune/pisces influence. friends are usually toxic. also attracts damaged friends. watch out for who you hang out with/don’t put all your trust into certain ppl. friendship is very important to these ppl, and they’re usually the advice giving friend, or just the one that’s laid back tbh. a lot of your “friends” tend to be 🐍. usually shy as a child, but comes out of shell as they get older. ppl that may crush on you may have pisces/neptune influence often. altruistic, but strange.
celebrities:Zooey Deschanel, Christy Turlington, Zayn Malik, Brad Pitt
𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
sleeps often. follow your gut feelings. usually empaths. stay away from addictive things. not confident. doesn’t express their feelings. focus on loving yourself, it’s okay to take time for yourself. clairvoyant. you’re a dreamer. enemies take advantage of your/pray on your weakness, are manipulative, and you may also feed of off each other’s toxic energy. enemies may have pisces/neptune in chart. you happen to be self-contained/shy.
celebrities:Megan Fox, Winona Ryder, Bradley Cooper, Prince
#astrology#zodiac#zodiac signs#astro notes#astro observations#neptune in houses#neptune in 1st house#neptune in the 2nd house#neptune in 3rd house#neptune in the 4th#neptune in 5th house#neptune in the 7th house#neptune in the 6th house#neptune in 8th house#neptune in the 9th house#neptune in the 10th house#neptune in the 11th house#neptune in the 12th house#planets in astrology
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Arguments - feat Bakugo, Todoroki, Kirishima and Tamaki Amajiki
author’s note: i’m feeling angsty today. so this is gonna be about arguing with some of the bnha characters. anyone else feel off today? just me?
warnings: swearing, angst, fluff 🥺, and suggestive themes not full on smut. characters aged up! some of these are long.. i was feeling dramatic
headers from @annicon
Bakugo
as much as i love this man i can admit he would be SOO stubborn
would get frustrated easily
yells 🥺
he knows when to walk away when the conversation isn’t getting anywhere which is good
would NEVER hurt you (i’ve seen ppl write that this mf hits you... girl...domestic violence is not an aesthetic.)
he isn’t the best with words so it’ll take him a little while to admit he’s wrong because he can’t verbalize how sorry he is sometimes
when he does he’ll hug and kiss you and apologize like a million times after he’s done being a stubborn little prick.
gives you the best “i’m sorry “ dick imaginable holy shit
Bakugo done did it. He pissed you off. You were already having a terrible day and then you come home to this motherfucker with a bunch of people over after you told him that you weren’t in the mood for company. So for the rest of the night when everyone left, you gave him the silent treatment knowing that he HATES when you ignore him on purpose.
“Y/N?”
You say nothing, continuing scrolling through your phone to look like you were preoccupied.
“Y/N, what’s your problem? I know you hear me.” Bakugo persists.
You ignore him, turning your back to face him. He grunts and grabs your shoulder, turning you back around to face him.
“Y/N if you’re pissed at me just say that. But ignoring me is fucking immature and it’s pissing me off!” He yells. Translation: “What did I do? 🥺”
“I’M pissing YOU off!? That’s funny. Because it’s not like you didn’t completely ignore my fucking feelings tonight. Why did you invite Kirishima and Denki over after I specifically said I didn’t feel like playing fucking HOSTESS!” You shout back, throwing your phone somewhere.
“Are you serious!? I never told them to come here they just showed up. What was I supposed to do tell them to piss off!?” Katsuki asked.
“YES!” You scream, annoyed that he’s not getting the reason why you’re upset. You never minded having Bakugo’s friends over but you just wanted to have a calm night with just the two of you. You were exhausted and fixing dinner for you and 3 other people and listening to loud chatter about sports and video games was not on your to-do list.
“This is so fucking petty! I don’t get why you’re so mad that they came over.” Katsuki said shrugging his shoulders.
“That’s the problem, idiot! You don’t fucking get it! I worked all day today. I just wanted us to relax but no, you wanted to have a fucking guys night in my living room! It’s the complete disregard for my feelings that’s pissing me off not the fact that they came. I told you I was tired and you having them come over anyways was like a big fuck you to me!” You explain, your face pulled into a face Katsuki knows is your angry face. Bakugo sighs, not ready to admit that he was wrong.
“Tch. Whatever. I’m gonna go sleep on the fucking couch. Let me know when you’re done being fucking frigid.” He shouts, clearly out of anger.
“Fine.”
“Fine!”
Katsuki leaves your shared room and slammed the door, you throwing yourself onto the bed. You feel tears sting your eyes as you sob into your pillow. You hated fighting with Bakugo, and you knew he hated it too. He has a hard time expressing himself without getting defensive sometimes. But you knew he felt bad. You sigh and close your eyes and go to sleep.
The next morning you get up from bed and get ready to start your day. You shower and brush your teeth, you and Bakugo strategically avoiding each other all morning to go and do your daily routines. You didn’t utter a word to each other. Just questions and short answers.
“Got work?”
“Yup.”
“When?”
“7:30.”
The silence killed you both as you sat at the table and ate breakfast, Bakugo’s face pulled into a frown as he ate. You roll your eyes and go to put your dishes in the sink and grab his once he’s done. You can hear him get up from his chair as you wash both your plates and dry them. You had assumed he was leaving so you just wash all the rest of the dishes without turning your back. Suddenly you felt familiar arms wrap around your waist.
“Let me go.” You say, tearing up at the sudden touch. He was trying to make up with you and you were so ready to forgive him. The tension was almost too much to bear. This fight was small and it turned into something way bigger than need be.
“Not until you listen to me. I’m sorry, ok? I should have never yelled at you the way I did. And calling you frigid wasn’t ok either. I shoulda just told everyone to go home. We have those dumbasses over all the time. One night wouldn’t have killed me. I’m sorry. Can we just forget this shit ever happened? I hate it when you’re mad at me.” He pleaded, burrowing his face into the crook of your neck. You smile and turn around to look at his face, cupping his cheeks in both your hands as you stand on you tip toes to kiss him. He kisses you back eagerly, happy that you and him are back on good terms. He pulled away from the heated kiss and looks at the clock on the microwave.
“6:30...we still have an hour to kill. If you’re late I’ll drop you off.” Katsuki says, his eyes turning dark with feral lust.
“Late? What are yo-“ you’re interrupted by Bakugo pulling you into your bedroom with determination to make things right.. his way.
Tamaki (🥺 my new found love)
Tamaki is NOT a confrontational person so arguing with you is really hard. He hates raising his voice or even getting to a point to where he’s angry because he doesn’t want to think about hurting you in anyway.
He’ll shut down and turn cold or try and act nonchalant.
he might even avoid conflict by changing the subject
if he’s riled up enough though he’ll cuss you out.. to his dismay
doesn’t like being mad at you and vice versa
hates arguments.. like honestly can you just get over it so he can eat you out now?
speaking of eating you out, he gives apology head and he won’t stop until you say you forgive him.
Tamaki didn’t like to admit it but he was really jealous. Like really really jealous like YANDERE type jealous. You and him were out to dinner with Mirio so you were all chatting about mindless nothing, catching up like you always do. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary for you but to Tamaki it appeared that Mirio was a little too playful at dinner with you. He was cracking jokes and poking fun and Tamaki took it as him flirting with you; which Mirio would never disrespect your relationship like that. Rage sat in the pit of Tamaki’s chest as you laugh at all his jokes. He was furious but hid it pretty well for the night.
“And then Tamaki wet himself in front of the whole class when I scared him with my quirk in middle school. Can you believe it?” Mirio laughs, causing you to laugh at the thought.
“Oh leave him alone, Togata.” You giggle, waving your hand in front of your face to stop the tears from laughter. He had been making you laugh all night all to Tamaki’s disliking. He was quiet all dinner, which you noticed immediately after Togata’s last joke.
“Hey Tamaki, is everything ok?” You ask, concerned that he might not want to be out anymore.
“Yeah.” He said coldly. “Actually I’m just gonna go to the car. I feel kinda sick.” He stands from his seat and walks to the exit, absolutely fucking furious that you were “flirting” with his childhood friend right in front of him.
“Awkward. What’s up with him?” Mirio asks, completely dumb founded by Tamaki’s sudden disappearance.
“I dunno. I’m gonna go to the car and see what’s wrong. Do you mind?” You ask, standing from your seat.
“Nah that’s cool. I’m actually gonna head out. You go on ahead, Y/N. I’ll take care of the tab.. this time.” Mirio jokes. You giggle and thank him, walking towards the exit. You walk through the parking lot and find the car, seeing Tamaki sitting in the passenger side with his arms crossed across his chest. What was his deal? You open the car door and sit in the driver’s side to meet a thick tension.
“What’s wrong Tamaki? Do you really feel sick or are you upset with me?” You ask.
“Why don’t you ask Mirio? I’m sure he’ll be able to answer since he’s the only guy you talked to all night. It was like I wasn’t even there.” Tamaki says, calm but obviously pestered.
“Is that was this is about? Tama you know it wasn’t like that. Mirio has always been a jokester what’s the difference now?” You ask, getting a little upset at his accusation.
“The difference is that he was trying to make a pass at you. He was so obviously flirting with you.” He says, his tone becoming stern. You’re shocked at how he was getting, frowning at how unreasonable he was being.
“No he wasn’t, Tamaki.” You say, looking him dead in his eyes.
“Yes he was. I’m not about to fight with you about this he was clearly fucking flirting with you. He joked with you all night and you laughed at every single thing he said. You must want to fuck him, don’t you?” He asked, looking at you with some sort of betrayal in his eyes. This infuriates you.
“What are you talking about!? You know I would never cheat on you Tamaki. Especially not with your best friend. What’s with you!?” You ask sternly, not amused or pleased in the slightest.
“Whatever, Y/N.” Tamaki says, looking out the car window while turning the other way so he’s not facing your side of the car. He knew this was stupid and he knew your loyalty was never to be questioned but he couldn’t shake this feeling of jealousy.
“No. You don’t get to start a fight and then blow me off when you’re through arguing! Talk to me!” You yell, furious at this point. Tamaki shrugs, avoiding the situation entirely now.
“Just drive. I wanna go home.” He says, not taking his eyes off the view from his window. You roll your eyes and start the car, pulling out of the parking lot to start your way home. The drive home was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. You were so angry that you didn’t talk to Tamaki the whole way home, knowing you’d probably cuss him out if he said the wrong thing. Tamaki immediately felt bad after picking that fight. He didn’t know what came over him, he knew he had to make it up to you before you two go to bed angry with each other. You approach your shared apartment and park the car, silence still riddling the car. The tension between you both was intense and it scared you. You’ve never seen Tamaki this upset. Jealousy was always an issue for him but he’s never reacted this strongly.
“Y/N?” Tamaki says breaking the silence. You look at him, a little relieved that he’s talking to you again.
“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I know you’d never cheat on me, of course. But I was just so jealous. It felt like you and Mirio were on a date and I was just the third wheel. The thought of him taking you from me drove me crazy. I wasn’t thinking. Can you forgive me?” He says, placing his hand on top of yours on the steering wheel. You sniffle, tearing up at his apology.
“Tamaki, I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I love you so much. No one could ever take your place, not even Mirio. I’d never betray you like that, ever.” You sob, tears flowing down your face. Tamaki questioning your loyalty really hurt your feelings and he hated seeing you cry.
“I know that. Please don’t cry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. It was so stupid of me to even assume.” He says, taking his hand and wiping your tears away. He took your hand and gave it a sweet kiss to soothe you, rubbing circles with his thumb on it as he consoled you. You giggle and wipe your tears, happy that you guys made up after that silly fight.
“Let’s go inside.”
Todoroki
arguments between you two get heated. It gets to a point where sometimes you don’t speak to each other for days. he’ll definitely give small reminders that he still loves you to butter you up to alleviate some of the tension.
raises his voice
just as stubborn as bakugo
to a fault of his upbringing facing his emotions was hard for him sometimes, causing him to be cold when you fight
when it’s time to get over it and make up he’ll make it a huge event; flowers, chocolates and lots of freaky apology sex
cant stand arguing with you just like tamaki but wont back down in the slightest
is sure he doesn’t say anything harsh to make the situation worse.
“Why are you being so stubborn?!” You shout at your bi-colored haired boyfriend. The two of you have been fighting all day to your surprise. Shoto was usually easy going and you two hardly fought. But today, a bug seemed to have crawled up Todoroki’s ass and he’s been picking fights all day. You’ve been arguing about small things like who left the bathroom light on or who ate the last hot pocket. Right now it was an argument about when you’re going to meet his father Endeavor. It’s been almost a year since you two have been together and you don’t even think his father knows you exist.
“For the last time Y/N we’re not going to my dad’s house. That’s final! You can argue with yourself about this. End of discussion.” Shoto says, very annoyed at the thought of being near his father. He still couldn’t stand him, even as an adult. He can’t bring himself to bring you around him because he knows how he can be. If he even says something slightly rude to you he’ll flip the fuck out. You groan in frustration, wishing he’d at least consider.
“He doesn’t know we’re together does he!? What am I to you some secret? Why did you stay with me all this time if your family doesn’t even know I exist !?” You shout, tearing up with seering anger.
“It’s not that. Of course he knows we’re together; my whole family knows! Why do you want to involve him so badly?!” Shoto yells.
“Why wouldn’t I want to meet my fucking boyfriend’s father!? You’re not making any sense.” You say, getting more and more frustrated as Shoto makes excuses.
“You know what? Fine. We’ll go meet him tomorrow. But as soon as he treats you like you’re not good enough for me don’t be surprised when I tell you I fucking told you so. God you can be so stubborn sometimes.” Shoto shouts, rolling his eyes at you.
“Oh I’M stubborn!? That’s rich coming from you. You’re being so unreasonable right now. I know you and your father-“
“YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT MY FATHER. Stop speaking on things you haven’t the first idea about!” Shoto yells, punching a nearby wall. (Oop.) You flinch, shocked at how angry he got so quickly. You tear up and run off to your bedroom, Todoroki immediately regretting getting so upset with you. He scared you and that’s something he never wanted to do to you under any circumstances. You cried yourself to sleep that night, angry that things got so heated. Why did he react like that? And why was he treating you as if you knew nothing about him and his father. He would vent to you about him all the time and you gave him advice when you could. But tonight you felt like you were nothing but an outsider. Shoto didn’t even bother coming into the room. He couldn’t face you after making you cry. Right now, he hated himself for treating you like that. He was just so afraid of his father’s judgement he didn’t want him to hurt your feelings with how crass he was. If Endeavor found the slightest thing wrong with you he’d never let you or him forget it. He could hear him now calling you unworthy of the Todoroki name. The thought alone enraged him. In his own cryptic way, he was trying to protect you from him but this was no way to do it nor did he have the right. Todoroki slept on the couch, missing your warmth against him in your bed.
The next morning the two of you drove to the Todoroki estates in silence. You were still pissed at him and Shoto didn’t want to say anything to further upset you. He was annoyed he was making this trip in the first place but he knew he had to man up for your sake. It was unfair of him to try and keep you away from his family especially since you would one day take on his name and be a part of the family when he married you. He knew he couldn’t keep you away forever, but god couldn’t he have had a little more time? He dreaded this day.
“Ready?” Shoto asks coldly, trying to hide his remorse from his tone. You nod, getting out of the car before he could walk over and open the door for you. Shoto is surprised and gets out with you, guiding you to his old home. He can’t lie, he’s so fucking nervous. What if he hates you? Not that he cares what he thinks, he’ll marry you anyway but still. He at least wants his blessing. You walk with Shoto to the main room of the home and wait for Endeavor to come downstairs. Suddenly you hear footsteps from across the room. It was him. He was tall and his aura was so dark and intimidating.
“You must be Y/N.” Endeavor says, looking down at your small frame. You nod, a wave of nervousness shooting through your body.
“N-Nice to meet you sir.” You bow respectfully.
“No need for that. Please, have a seat.” Endeavor says gesturing to the couch. You and Shoto sit down next to each other, Endeavor following suit by sitting across from you two.
“So.. how long have you two been together?” Endeavor asks, his booming voice almost sending an echo throughout the empty room. You gulp and look towards Shoto.
“10 months.” He answers for you, taking your hand to calm you. You’re still mad at him but god you’re glad he’s doing his best to ease your anxiety.
“And you just now arrange a meeting? Hm.” Endeavor questions, looking at you as if he was scanning you to find something irredeemable about you. You look down at your lap, unable to keep eye contact with the intimidating man.
“I-I wanted to meet with you sooner. Me and Shoto fought about coming here last night but I convinced him.” You say nervously.
“I see. You seem like an ok girl. Shoto has had his fair share of.. inadequate women in his life so, you’re a step up from the rest.” Endeavor says, motioning for a maid to make you all some tea. You laugh nervously, Shoto squeezing your hand in annoyance. Was that a compliment?
“You two seem like you’ve been fighting.” Endeavor says suddenly, observing both your body language. You’re both shocked as you turn to look at each other. How’d he know that?
“What’s it to you?” Shoto asks, glaring at his father.
“Oh nothing. But if you’re planning on marrying this girl it’s probably best to not argue too much with her. Hell, she might up and leave.”
Shoto looks at you, pain in his eyes. The look on his face alone said “I’m sorry.” Shoto hated to admit it but his father was right. Fighting as much as you have been, especially the fight you had last night was toxic and could take a toll on your relationship.
You smile at him and turn to Endeavor
“I’d never leave him.” You say, snuggling closer to Shoto as he blushed. He was embarrassed that he was being so vulnerable around his father but he knew that only you could make this happen.
After a long conversation with Endeavor and Shoto, you leave with a feeling that you might have won him over. You think? He was hard to read, just like Shoto. He was more like his father than he likes to admit. Shoto opens the car door for you to get inside and then walks to the drivers side to come in. You sit in the car for a while, silent until Shoto grabs you and leans over to kiss you. You kiss him back, tearing up into the kiss.
“I’m sorry, snowflake. I can’t believe I raised my voice at you like that. I was just so scared that he was gonna hate you and say something disrespectful. I should have just told you that instead of being defensive. I’m so so sorry I scared you. Please forgive me. ” He pleaded, peppering kissing on your face.
“I know. And I forgive you.” You giggle, pulling Todoroki closer to you to kiss him again.
Kirishima
Out of all the boys he’s the least stubborn when it comes to fighting. But don’t be fooled, he’ll argue you down. he’s very good at managing his temper when it comes to you.
Regrets starting a fight in the first place
Just wants to cuddle and go back to normal
But when he’s angry hooo boy
doesn’t even yell, he’s like a calm angry which is terrifying
tries talking over you, trying to plead his case
will not rest until the situation is resolved and over with so you guys can move on
like all the others... apology sex
will try not to lose his patience
You and Kirishima had been together for a while now so it was only inevitable that you two have your first fight. You were always a vigilant person and wanted to help others even though you were quirkless like Deku was at one point. Kirishima is protective of you to a fault and the thought of you getting hurt or worse didn’t sit well with him at all. You assured him that you were capable of taking care of yourself and protecting yourself but he wasn’t having any of it. You spent years perfecting your martial arts skills, training your ass off for countless hours everyday and he knew that. But he didn’t want you to one day meet your match without him there to protect you.
“Y/N, drop it. You’re not going on missions with me and that’s final. It’s too dangerous.” Eijiro said, his brows furrowed. He was trying not to lose his patience with you but you kept insisting. He just wished you’d forget about this whole thing; for your safety.
“You don’t have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do! I’m fully capable for taking care of myself and you know that.” You yell, irritated at your boyfriend underestimating your abilities. Eijiro sighs and stands up from the couch to stand in front of you, inching so close you could almost kiss.
“I’ll die before I let you go out there. Do you know what would happen to me; to your friends and family if something happened to you!? We’d be crushed. Please just drop this.” Kirishima says, wanting to avoid this conversation all together. But alas, nothing was changing your mind. You were very head strong and stubborn to no avail so you weren’t going down without a fight.
“You can’t stop me!” You yell
“Oh I can’t?” Eijiro challenged.
“No. You can’t. You can’t treat me like a child, Eijiro.” You say. “How can you say I’m not ready if you don’t give me a chance to prove I am!?”
“Because you just aren’t! Okay!? You say you’re not a child but you’re acting like one and a petulant one at that. Just drop it! God, you can be so stubborn sometimes. Don’t you see I’m just trying to keep you safe!?” Kirishima yells, instantly regretting raising his voice at you and losing his cool. You tear up, furious that he’s treating you like some kid. You grab your stuff and prepare to leave his apartment.
“Where are you going?” Kirishima sighs
“Fuck you, Eijiro.” You say, walking away from him and going outside to cool off. Kirishima tries to grab you before you leave but you snatch your arm away from him and walk outside with a huff and a slam of the door. You wipe your hot tears away and start aimlessly walking down the street to go home. Hell, you don’t even know your way home from Eijiro’s place but you’ll be damned if you go back there. As you walk you see Kirishima’s car pull up to the side of you, driving slowly to keep up with your walking pace.
“Y/N please get in the car.” He says out the car window
“No! I don’t wanna talk to you so just go away!” You yell, continuing to walk as the brisk wind assaults your bare skin. Dammit you forgot your coat.
“Y/N! You’re being ridiculous just please get in the car. You left your jacket; it’s freezing out here!” Eijiro shouts, getting out of the car and grabbing you to pull you inside. You groan, obviously being overpowered by your strong boyfriend. Kirishima slams the door and gets back inside, drives back to his apartment and parks in the driveway. He sighs and leans his head on the steering wheel.
“I’m sorry I got so heated with you. But can you blame me? I’m worried about you. Sure we’ll be on these missions together but what if something happens? What if I’m not there to protect you when something goes wrong? These missions are unpredictable; anything could happen and I’d literally die if even a scratch is put on you.” Eijiro pleads. You start crying, sniffling at his words. He was right to be worried.
“I love you, Eijiro and I appreciate you being so concerned about me. But that doesn’t give you the right to shelter me. You can’t just force me to not follow my dream.” You sob, wiping your tears away. Eijiro grabs your hand and kisses it.
“I know. I just can’t bear the thought of you being hurt. But if this is what you really want, I have no choice but to at least see this through.” Kirishima says, holding your small hand in his two massive ones. You smile, putting your other hand on top of his.
“Thank you. Also, I’m sorry for saying fuck you to you. That was mean.” You say pouting.
“It was. Hurt my feelings.” Eijiro said faking sadness, immediately laughing as he watched your face frown up again at the thought of hurting his feelings.
“Oh shut up.”
#bnha fanfiction#bnha x reader#bnha smut#bnha bakugo x reader#bnha midoriya x reader#bnha imagines#bnha#bnha todoroki x reader#bnha bakugou#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha headcanons#bnha kirishima#bnha denki#bnha tamaki#bnha amajiki#bnha angst#bnha fluff
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The Chordata Guide to Otherlinking
Hello! This is a guide written from my own experiences, and a tiny bit of consulting with other ‘linkers. If you can think of ways to improve this, let me know, and I’ll update the original post. This is Version 1.1.
What is otherlinking? What is a linktype?
Otherlinking is the active choice of identifying as something. This sounds very vague, so let’s have an example: Imagining yourself as a lion makes you more confident, so you like doing that frequently. Identifying as a lion becomes a part of your identity.
For many of us, otherlinking includes consciously taking on traits of out linktype (imitating/“fake it ‘til you make it” OR strengthening already existing traits by focusing on them through a linktype). This is a form of mindfulness training. For example: I would like to be as calm and collected as insert-fictional-character. In stressful situations, I think “How would they react?” and try to act that way by imagining myself as them. If this revolves around already existing traits, a linktype can help amplify those traits.
Let's get some vocabulary out of the way first, for everyone who comes across this and isn’t familiar with otherlinking.
● Linktype / Otherlink / 'link- A voluntary identity a person takes on. I.e. I identify as a woodpecker because I want to. This identity can be of a real existing or extinct animal or plant, a mythological being, a fictional being or person, an object, a concept, et cetera.
● Otherlinker - A person with a linktype.
● Otherlinking - The act of having a linktype.
● Copinglink / C'link - A subcategory of linktype. A copinglink is a linktype created for coping with trauma, stress, et cetera.
● Copinglinker - A person with a copinglink.
● Copinglinking - The act of having a copinglink.
Requirements
You might ask yourself: "I want a linktype. What're the requirements to get one?" Well, you already got all the requirements down. To take on a linktype, you need to want one. Whether you feel compelled to take one on, or you feel it could help you in some way, or you decide you want to try this just for the heck of it, it's all valid. You want, you can.
How?
This is the trickier part, and it varies from person to person. I will give a basic rundown. Adjust this for your personal needs where you see fit.
1. Find your being/thing/concept.
2. Examine your reasons for why you want to call this yourself.
3.a. Your reasons for wanting the linktype might already be enough to make the identity feel right.
3.b. If you don't feel yourself clicking with the potential 'link, and struggle with identifying as it, analyze it to find the traits that don't resonate with you. You can change parts of the 'link, or view it through a different lens to make it feel closer to home. I.e. For fictional characters, it can help to disengage from fandom interpretation, or canon characterization, and instead put your own spin on them.
4. Once you've established a connection, you can reinforce it if you want to. A linktype can feel very faint at the start, so here are some examples for what you can do to make it feel more 'You':
● Wear clothing you can associate with the 'link.
● Inform yourself about new hobbies that you can associate with your linktype. I.e. If your linktype is an archer and you've never tried archery before, see if you can find an archery range open to newbies nearby.
● If you are a visual artist, create drawings of your linktype in a way that relates to your irl person. I.e. Draw the linktype in your clothes, or in irl places you've been in person.
● If you're a writer, write something including your linktype in a way that relates to you. I.e. Include them in a story inspired by real life events that have happened to you.
● Make the linktype your social media profile picture.
● Let people know they can use the linktype's name as a nickname for you.
● Change your social media alias/username to be related to the linktype’s name.
● Talk to people who will treat you as your linktype (and not just view it as roleplaying).
Don't be ashamed of expressing yourself in fear of other people’s opinions. Unless you're dependent on them (for money, safety, or other physical and mental health needs), it doesn't matter what they think.
Caution
If at any point in your journey you notice that a linktype makes you feel worse about yourself than you do without the linktype (i.e. feeding into anger, self-hatred), stop it. These dangers can already crop up during the ‘link creation process. Here are ways to go about this, and possible causes:
● Stop engaging with it. This sounds very 'It'll go away if I ignore it long enough', but that's exactly it. A linktype should fade when you don't engage with it anymore. Don't approach this by thinking "I'm not allowed to think about this anymore", but instead, every time when your linktype comes up, acknowledge it, and replace that thought with something else. If you struggle with this, examine what 'triggers' you to think of your linktype. Mindfulness is a powerful thing that often goes underestimated.
● Replace it with a different linktype that doesn't bring these problems.
● If your linktype started off without these issues, try to find out what caused it to change to become negative. Maybe there are other factors in your life that're putting stress on you and it shows through your linktype.
● Maybe you’ve outgrown your linktype. People can change over time, and your linktype could be preventing you from taking the next steps for personal growth, and this can negatively influence your well-being. Try letting go of the linktype. It might turn out the be a freeing experience.
● Talk to a therapist (, or, if you can’t access therapy, an understanding friend). Yes, tell them specifically about the linktype and the problems you have with it. A second person can shine a light on aspects you didn’t notice.
Good to know
A linktype can become an integral part to yourself, and at some point you might find it hard to separate it from yourself. Is this still a linktype? Is it a kintype (otherkin)? That is for you to know and decide. The lines can be blurry, and at the end of the day you are the only person who can decide what labels you want to use and what community has the most in common with you (if you even want to label yourself and interact with ppl w similar experiences). Unless it is harming you (or others), a linktype turned integral is nothing bad. Our environments shape us as people constantly, and a linktype over time can contribute similarly.
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That’s it! If you have questions or need help, feel free to contact me through Asks or DMs. If I’m unavailable, search around a bit to find other otherlinkers who might be able to help you. ♡
#otherlink#copinglink#linktype#voluntary identity#otherlinking#copinglinking#otherlinker#copinglinker#c'link#quoiluntary#alterhuman#fictionlinker#fictionlink#otherlink guide#own post
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