#don’t know why the colours look different in every photo but whatever

[fruityfroggy]

The critters have been glossed up

And they kinda just stared at me like this for the entire ceramics class

Should we name them? What should we name them?

[soulofapatrick]

Bleeding Hearts - Jasper Hale x Reader

Summary: Jasper finds you on the floor crying and bleeding and patches you up which leads to feelings being admitted

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: blood; cut otherwise fluff and a little angst

Notes: DW I’m still gonna be writing TLOU stories too

Y/N’s POV

I didn’t wanna go back to mine, the place feeling to cramped and closed off which I know would add to all the pent up frustration I’m currently feeling. It’s why I’ve ended up at the Cullen’s house, needing to be somewhere no one will judge me and hey maybe Jasper can use if freaky emotional control on me so I can stop feeling like I want to slam someones head into a table or scream. This week has been non-stop and I just need a fucking break, shoulders tense and heart racing as I let myself in, knowing they’ve got the fridge stocked for me to help myself to anything I want. 

I drop my rucksack with a hard thump, kicking my shoes off and throwing my jacket in the general direction of my bag before heading towards the fridge. I’m moving around the kitchen island too quickly as I feel my elbow connect with the  beautiful glass jar there and just watch it go crashing to the ground, realising a few expletives, “Ahhh! Fucking shitting fuck!” 

The sound of shattering glass grates against my ears as my frustration is turning into overstimulation, the frustration reaching a breaking point that I can’t deal with it anymore. The tears are welling up in my eyes as I sink to my knees to clean up the mess before any of the Cullens get home and see me in this state. It’s like I’m fighting a losing battle and everything is just falling apart around me, the frustration is just so overwhelming and I’m struggling to stop the tears as they stream down my cheeks rather embarrassingly. The Cullens don’t like to leave me home alone after what happened to Bella and Laurent when Bella was human. 

“Y/N?” My head flies up at the sound of a familiar southern drawl to see Jasper standing in the doorway. His usually golden eyes are a bright, almost glowing shade of red and his gaze is intense as they focus on my hands while his jaw pops audibly as if he’s trying to restrain himself. My hands are bleeding, the pain only registering with me as I see the fresh blood dripping down my palms and onto the floors, adding to the mess I’ve made with the jar. The frustration turns into hopelessness as I can’t even clean up without causing more problems, the world conspiring against me and hey, maybe Jasper could lose control and kill me. It’d be the least of my problems at the moment, “Leave the glass, I’ll clear it up. Let’s get you bandaged up.”

The honey blond vampire is swallowing thickly, as if swallowing his urge to give into the bloodlust, before he’s approaching me. He crosses the room in a few quick, human paced, steps to lean down and help me to my feet with his icy hand on my forearm. He’s leading me upstairs and down the very familiar hallway, past my room to the room at the end which is his. I don’t think I’ve actually been in his room in the year I’ve been friends with the Cullens. 

The walls are a soft grey colour, making me think back to him and Emmett running upstairs one day with cans of grey paint a few months into me knowing them all, and there’s a few painting on the walls. There’s photos around the room from different centuries he’s lived through. If I was in a better mood I think I would have laughed at it and teased him as it’s such an odd sense of humour and I like it. He also has a bed which surprises me as they’ve vampires, they don’t sleep. It’s large and comfortable with high quality linens and pillows, a cozy blanket draped at the foot of the bed and a few fuzzy pillows. He’s pushing me onto the bed, making me sit on the edge while he disappears to do whatever, I don’t mind as it gives me time to really take in every detail of his room. 

There’s a vintage dresser, looking like it has been carefully maintained and it just makes me think about how weird it must be to watch the world you were born into develop and change while you… you stay the same. It must be so scary and lonely, watching everything you knew change with only you knowing what it once was. 

Jasper’s returning, med kit in hand and I can feel my heart rate embarrassingly begin to race at the sight of him and I know he hears it as he’s got a small smile on his lips. He doesn’t say a word though, sitting next to me and raising an eyebrow as if to tell me to hold my hands out. I do just that, marvelling at how gentle and careful his touch is. His hands are cold and smooth against mine, the contract between us noticeable and somewhat soothing. 

Despite the stinging pain of the cuts the sensations of his touch is almost comforting and if find myself relaxing under his care. I can feel his fingers brushing against mine and there’s an undertone to intimacy in the way he tends to me. His touch almost hypnotic that I get lost in it, the tension almost palpable and I know he definitely feels it as he’s able to read emotions. I should be embarrassed about Jasper always being able to know exactly how I feel but right now I couldn’t care less because even without vampire abilities I can tell it’s reciprocated and the moment is a gentle one, just between us. 

He’s breaking the tension, southern drawl filled with heat and concern, “Now, why don’t you tell me what’s got you all worked up?” His eyes are fixed on mine, the red having disappeared so they’re that breathtaking golden colour again, like the colour of a sunset on a hot day. The concern in his tone is genuine and I think my heart jumps into my throat when he leans closer to me. 

“I-I really don’t know.” I reply softly, feeling stupid that I got so worked up over something that I don’t even know what it was. He’s leaning even closer, icy hands sliding up my shoulders around my shoulders as he pulls me into a hug that draws a sound of surprise from me. His embrace is warm and full of comfort despite how naturally icy cold his body is as it’s pressed to mine. The scent of the vanilla shampoo he uses on his wavy blond hair and the rich and musky scent that is just Jasper, makes me almost dizzy. 

Being so close to a vampire like this I feel completely safe and secure. His nose is buried in the crook of my neck and his cool breath against my neck, sending shivers down my spine. Vampires have no need to breath but it just seems a force of habit for the Cullens as they’ve integrated themselves into mortal society. I know how hard this must be for him, controlling his bloodlust being so close to my jugular but I don’t feel scared in any way. The moment feels intimate and special, feeling an embarrassing surge of romantic attraction towards him as I want to stay in his arms forever. 

The small smile I feel against my neck lets me know he can sense my emotions and a gasp is ripped from my throat when those cold lips press to my neck before he’s pulling back. Those golden eyes have darkened a little, full of unmistakable desire and passion. My heart is trying to break through my ribcage when he moves his hands to my cheeks, pulling me forwards until those same lips are soft against mine. I’m caught off guard as I never though Jasper would actually make a move, given his reputation for not being able to control his lust of human blood yet, making the kiss somewhat overwhelming. 

The kiss is oh so gentle and calculated as if he’s holding back so he doesn’t hurt me, thumbs stroking my cheeks softly as my own fly to his chest, feeling the coolness of his skin and the hard muscles beneath his shirt. My whole body feels electrified, tingling with anticipation and a satisfaction that I’ve not felt kissing other boys. His lips are surprisingly soft and cool against mine, mouth opening slightly so he can slide his tongue over my bottom lip. I’m parting them for him, our tongues meeting and the passion intensifying in a flood of warmth and I’m sure if Jasper knows he’s using his powers or not as we lose ourselves in the moment. 

Hands move from my cheeks, one to grip my waist almost painfully and the other tangling in my hair as he tilts my head back to deepen the kiss even more. I’m pressing against his chest lightly and he loosens his grip on my hair so I pull back enough to gasp for air and he’s chuckles low and rich, southern drawl strong and going straight between my legs, “Sorry doll, I forgot you need to breathe.” 

“Jasper.” His name slips from my lips in a whine and his eyes darken even more, tongue darting out to wet his lips. He’s yanking me forwards again, lips crushing against mine and I’m melting into his embrace as I can feel how careful he’s being with me despite how much sexual tension and want there is between us. He’s shifting his body over me, the hands in my hair and on my back are laying me down. 

My body feels so alive with the comfortable weight of him above me as he moves his lips down my neck and sucking gentle hickeys into the skin. His lips trailing down my neck is a new sensation that has my hips raising and searching for some form of friction, drawing a low sound from him. It’s amazing, being able to finally express all these feelings I’ve had kept hidden for so long, letting his feel the love and want for him. My fingers running through his surprisingly soft hair, pulling him closer to me, wanting Jasper to be the only thing on my mind. 

Suddenly, a low sound escapes my lips and Jasper’s replying with a small laugh as his hand in my hair moves to cover my mouth as he whispers, “They’re back darlin’.” 

“Jazz,” I can’t stop the whine as he breaks away from me, letting me catch my breath and regain my composure before we go down and greet the rest of the Cullens. I feel so empty and longing and I don’t care if everyone hears with their vampire hearing when I grip the front of Jasper’s shirt and yank. It catches him off guard, a surprised sound rumbling in his throat as he tumbles on top of me again, arms catching himself before he hurts me, “Jazz.” 

“I know sweet girl, I know,” He coos softly, fingers brushing the stray strands away from my face, his gaze so loving it steals the air from my lungs and I’m flushing hot, “Come on, we gotta go talk to them.” 

“They can hear us.” I protest quietly and he’s chuckling fondly again, head falling to my shoulder. 

“There is glass and blood on the floor.” Jasper reminds me and I groan in protest but let him move away, watching him as he’s now standing beside the bed. His tall and lean figure towering over me and I should be scared but all I feel content. He runs a hand through his tousled blond hair, causing it to fall into a charmingly disheveled way across his forehead. His golden eyes are filled with tenderness and concern as he gazes down at me, taking in my flushed and flustered appearance, chiseled jaw set in a determined expression, as if he's ready to protect me from anything that might cause me harm. Despite his vampire nature, there is an undeniable warmth and humanity in his features that make you feel safe and loved.

He reaches down and helps me to my feet, placing a soft kiss to my forehead before holding my face in his hands and looking me in the eyes promising me he will always look out for me no matter what. A sense of comfort washes over me as he wraps me in a strong embrace that has me knows he means every single word and no matter what any of his family says he will always stay by my side. 

[wosoragebaiter69]

together forever

hayley raso x fem!reader

request: here

A/N: I got my new goalie gloves today 😜

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“Come on, the beach will be fun. Aussie beaches are like the best in the world! And it’s summer. Get up.” My girlfriend says.

“Hayley, we’ve been everyday this week.” I sigh sinking into the couch.

“Yeah but we haven’t been there on sunset. Sunsets on the beach are a different kind here.” She ends up giving puppy dog eyes which she knows I can’t say no to. In all our years of dating she still manages to make me crumple.

“Fine, it better be worth it.” Her smile grows wider and she jumps up and down. To which, I can only laugh at.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go.” I grab my phone and a towel, before following her outside and we begin the walk to the beach.

The walk consists of small talk, Hayley seems slightly nervous but I can’t imagine why. Maybe she doesn’t think I’ll like it? Time can only tell. I place her hand in mine in hopes that whatever she’s worried about will go away when she sees the sunset.

Once we arrive, I place the towel down and immediately gape at the sight in front of me. The sky is lit up in all sorts of warm colours. The sun only a third of the way set as it casts an orange glow around it. Yellow and red fill other parts of the sky, making the whole area look like it’s out of a painting. The water contrasts perfectly against the horizon, where large ships can be seen but barely.

“Haiz.. I don’t know what to say. This is… beautiful. Why wasn’t I shown this earlier?” I look at her, still in awe about our surroundings.

All she does is smile.

“I needed to wait for a special moment. Now sit. Sunset doesn’t last too long. Maybe take a picture? Even though we both know nothing compares to real life.” I nod at her words wondering what the special moment could mean.

I turn my gaze back out to the water, watching some distant surfers riding waves and getting taken out, there’s not many other people though.

“I can feel you staring babe.” I break our peaceful silence.

“I know.” Does it sound weird that I can hear her grin? Confused, I turn to look at her but my mouth drops at what she’s holding. Before I can say anything she starts.

“We’ve been dating for 3 years, which have been the best of my life, no one can make me feel the way you do. I’ve had relationships, but you’re the one that has felt the most right. If I’m not with you, I wonder what you’re doing subconsciously. Which is why I’ve decided I want you to be mine forever. So, Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N will you make me the happiest woman ever, and marry me?”

Throughout the speech my eyes well up, I can’t believe this is happening. When she finally says the question, there’s only one answer to be said.

“Yes, with every ounce of myself yes!” I cry out, she takes the ring out of the box placing it on the left ring finger.

“How did I get so lucky to have you?” I say before thinking about it.

“I was about to say the exact same thing.” She takes my hand and kisses it. “The best sunset in the world, with the best girl in the world.” I blush uncontrollably, not even trying to hide it.

“Are we going to tell the fans? When they find out they’re gonna go crazy.” I exclaim, it’s only last week her national teammate Ellie got engaged.

“Yes we can if that’s what you want. Now?” I nod smiling. I take the photo, making sure to include the jaw dropping sunset. Hayley’s arms are wrapped around my waist, her head resting on my shoulder kissing my neck softly. While I show the ring in all its glory, she probably went broke.

I take to instagram, including her on the post with the caption ‘I’ve got the best fiancé a girl could have, and you all have another thing to go crazy about.” I hit post laughing with the one I get to call mine, and we sit until twilight. Nothing else needs to exist if I’ve got her.

[justalildumpling]

⇢ haechan as your boyfriend

pairing: haechan x reader  genre: fluff, established relationship note: happy bday to our chaotic little pudu!! im sorry for making you the punching bag of my smaus🤠

let’s be for real here, he was the one who confessed to you. it does not matter whether you liked him first, he would’ve confessed first

haechan probably would’ve just started talking to you randomly, asking to become friends and annoying the HECK out of you until you started unwillingly liking him and magically he confessed to you.

when you guys were friends, he probably would’ve hugged you and clung to you a lot but once you start dating this boy… have fun with him stuck to you 24/7! no seriously, you can’t rid of him

expect lots of back hugs, hugs from the side with him placing a soft kiss on your cheek with a playful little smile on his face, him hugging your waist whilst he’s sitting down

your hand will always be warm. if he sees you visiting him at work, he’ll excitedly grab your hand and drag you around; if you’re sitting at dinner with his members, you bet his hand will be caressing the palms of your hand; if you’re having a little cry, his hand will automatically reach for yours, fingers intertwined

so much banter, sarcasm and sass in your relationship like if your friends or anyone saw your text messages to each other, they will be concerned

he would send random photos throughout the week to let you know what he’s up to. it could be a photo of his hair getting dyed with a text saying “i bet you $20 that you can’t guess what colour im dying it this time :p” “red.” “WHAT?!!!>>! YOU WITCH! HOW DID YOU KNOW?” “lucky guess :)” it could even be a photo of his favourite chocolate snacks or a paper cut on his finger

despite your constant old married couple bickerings, haechan would hold so much love for you. he would constantly compliment you, saying that you’re the prettiest person alive, hype you up whenever you buy a new outfit and just gaze at you with a lovesick look in his eyes

that boy and his jealousy are like a match made in heaven (but in the pettiest and jokiest way possible) realistically i don’t haechan would get jealous in a serious sense like he wouldn't be insecure about himself or his trust in you at all but if he sees you hanging out his members (esp dreamies) too much, you best know the man’s gonna either be ignoring you for a bit (to annoy you) or just hanging on for dear life and shouting out how your his girl in front of everyone. 

like i can imagine you and him cuddling up in his dorm and him just randomly asking you, “me or jeno?” “huh? where is this coming from?” “answer, me or jeno?” “you, of course, what are you-” 

and haechan would get up from his bed and shout out “HAH! SUCK ON THAT JENO! Y/N LIKES ME MORE!” and jeno replying with the most confused face, “I WOULD HOPE THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND LIKES YOU MORE THAN ME??????”

expect lots of facetime calls or just calls in general, it could literally be for a minute before he goes on stage for his tour. “hyuck why are you calling me on standby?” “because i wish you were here, you would’ve loved it here.”

he would call you after every show of his tour and despite the time differences you would still pick up, i can imagine him with his hair damp after his shower, eating a bowl of kimchi jjigae and telling you the highlights of his concert or simply singing you your favourite song as you fall asleep on call

your dates would vary between lazing around at home, watching cheesy rom-coms on netflix with a pile of snacks to going out in the city at night, making your own silly adventure and pretending that it was only the two of you in the world

the best thing about dating haechan would be that he would bring out your inner child, nourishing it and reminding you that it’s okay to have fun and to live in the moment once in a while and to forget about your worries. he would remind you to do the things you love, to make time for them whilst you’re working or whatever adulting things needs to be done. 

your relationship with him would be fun, lighthearted and healing and he would never fail to remind you that you are indeed loved and cherished, not just by him but everyone around you as well

[houseofbrat]

You don't just "sit this one out" if you're the future Queen. A state visit is a must attend for her (and she looks capable of attending) so there are weird shenanigans going on here. I really can't stand all the lies. I so wish the truth would come out from someone, anyone. It's beyond odd that the lid has been kept on this thing so long.

Whoa, she is OUT.

Kate loves getting glam for the cameras and what a great way to reintroduce her to the public after whatever happened to her. It does seem like she’s being punished and seriously she’s been nothing but loyal. She went after Meghan with that same Rottweiler energy Cam showed Diana. That wasn’t worthy of a reward? It just shows we know nothing of these folks. But they’re having a much harder time pretending they’re normal, aren’t they? The magic spell is getting threadbare…

Why should she be there? Why should she get to wear a pretty dress and jewels when she can’t be bothered to do any actual work?

She’s recovered enough to do multiple photoshoots and a video shoot to tell us she’s “not out of the woods” so nobody expects her to show up at a patronage but somehow healthy enough for glam events like Wimbledon or Trooping.

KP leaked that she’s not attending because she wants to focus on her Carol concert 🙄 Or even if this is her being “punished” which is to say held accountable for not wanting to do the boring day job, I see no issue with it.

She looks really unhappy, like on the verge of tears almost. What the hell is going on?

Nothing is worth this and it’s pretty obvious that dealing with him is terrible for her health. She’s good at playing the long game. I don’t know why she doesn’t divorce him, lay low, outlive him to spit on his grave, and have her son take care of her in her old age.

She will always be taken care of, but I am assuming they are holding custody of the kids over her so she can go nowhere.

What do you mean? They're obviously so in love! Every gesture, every glance shows it. You people are just jealous of their eternal bond

/s XD

What a difference a few months make ... thinking back to that stunning smile in the carriage at Trooping the Colour. In June, it was like she had the upper hand. But she should have realised who always had the power - and it's not the one who marries into that family. It is a cursed title from that point of view.

Whatever she's had to agree to, it is too much. No wonder they looked so awkward at the Qatari reception. It was like a divorced couple, trying to be civil. The body language screamed "Get me out of here!"

William's ONLY JOB is to put on a happy face for the public and he can't even be bothered to do that. He's riding in a goddamn carriage for 5 minutes and the effort of seeming OK was too much for him to manage. This is a hair away from being Kate's version of Diana's Taj Mahal photo. They look as miserable as Chuck & Di did their last few outings. The only difference is that Kate can't bolt like Di did

One habit I noticed from Prince Phillip was that he generally walked with his hands clasped behind him. Because he didn't have to worry about carrying anything (he always had staff around to take care of those kinds of tasks), it made him seem more powerful. When William walks with his hands clasped in front of him, he looks like he's uncertain, vulnerable, protecting himself.

The point of royals attending events isn't to just talk to each other! Jeez. They're supposed to mingle. They are part of the fucking host family

I have had warmer conversations with waiters. The Press must be paid a ransom to keep quiet about this, but there again cancer silences all questions from utter lack of work ethic to why can you not bear your wife?

Their behaviour to the King has been vile from moment one and it continues into this cancer charade. I feel they would have rained on any of the king’s parades figuratively and literally. From Coronation to cancer. Odd her illness was announced on the pre planned press release date of the King’s planned prostate surgery. Nothing, including lateness at a coronation happens by accident.

Finally why is she the only person dressed as though she has popped in post church? Her dire coats dresses and that hideous hat, why? If we only get her a few times a year trot her out in high fashion designs from up and coming British designers. Their cos playing middle class people is frankly embarrassing for state funded multi millionaires who don’t pay their tax

Why the hat? It does look silly. No one else is wearing one. Something is going on. It looks like they are about to have a heated argument. She is talking at William and he looks over his shoulder to see if anyone is listening behind them. They both look totally unengaged and disinterested.

I know this is stated over and over again, but for someone with such enormous privilege and without the demands of modern motherhood, she looks like hell.

So basically she's only showing up for fancy dress photo-ops? It's giving half-in, half-out. You know, the same thing her BIL and SIL were prohibited from doing even though they were wanting to be financially independent.

Exactly. It is beyond me how so many people do not see this.

[atelierlili]

Roses are Red Chapter 3

"I think it's about time Panem moves on from Katniss Everdeen.”My eyes narrow, I grip my fork tightly in my hand. "So what do you suggest?"

A scandal spreads like wildfire. Peeta is caught in the flames.

A Bachelor Au.

Katniss told me about the kiss in the woods. She mentioned it in that spiel about President Snow showing up at her house. Snow had his eyes on her at all times. 

But hearing it is different than seeing. 

My vision quickly blurs as I process what I’m seeing, as if my mind was trying to protect me from seeing it. But it was too late, that image will be seared into my brain forever.

From behind me, Effie gasps and rushes over to rip the controller away from me. The holo turns off with a little click.

I can tell Effie’s brain is working overtime because she’s completely lost for words. 

Effie isn’t stupid. Vapid and arrogant? Yes. She is a capitolite. But she isn’t stupid. She wouldn’t have been able to get to where she is today if she wasn’t good at her job. 

She’s been trying to hide it. But I know that she knows that something is wrong about Katniss’ death. Victor's houses don’t magically explode with two families in it. Say what you want about the Capitol, but they wouldn’t let their toys die because of faulty wiring and gas. Not by accident. Katniss Everdeen’s body should have been equally as unsalvageable as the rest, regardless of the magic that is capitol medicine. 

But Effie is a good member of the Capitol. She knows better than to ask questions or look too closely. She was never taught how to. It would do no one any good. Instead she directs all her attention to me. I’m manageable. I am safe. 

“W-why don’t we have dinner from the hotel today?,” Effie offers with a strained voice. “I hear they serve the most wonderful lamb chops and sherry ice cream here.” 

I forget what I say, but I decline her offer and retreat back into my room. I take off my prosthetic and climb into bed, staring at the ceiling and all the colourful lights from the city that bleed through the window. 

I don’t care what the Capitol will think of the news, don’t care about the districts, or my own image for that matter. President Snow should be the only person who had the vid, so it's only right to assume he leaked it. Was he trying to punish me or Katniss with it? My feelings aside, we were never lovers to begin with. I only hope Katniss is far away and safe. I hope she never hears about this breaking out. She’s a private person. Having someone violate her privacy like this would destroy her.

Then I close my eyes and wait for my nightmares to take me. 

We stopped going out for dinner after the scandal broke out. 

Effie is a sweetheart and pretends that eating from the hotel’s menu is all the rage now. 

“They say wisdom, maturity and grace can only be found when alone with oneself,” she says. “Of course, it’s alright to bend the rules to allow a single companion for company.” 

It’s utter nonsense, but I love her for it. I know she’s trying to use these fake capitol trends for my sake. Haymitch went back home the day after the scandal broke out. He's still here in a way. I hear Effie yell at him over the phone every evening when I shower. Effie, despite being an open book, never fails to put all her heart into her next project. Even if that project is trying to heal whatever damage she thinks the scandal has done to me. 

It doesn’t affect me as much as I thought it would. I spend my days painting. When I paint I can ignore the rest of the world. I’m sure at this rate I can open a new exhibit by next year. I paint the photos in the book Cynthia Nightshade gave me. I paint a large blooming meadow and a big beautiful sky. I painted a pair of birds. One sits on the wooden fence looking out into the meadow, the other flys high into the sky, surely to disappear beyond the horizon. 

Which is why I know something is wrong when Effie says I’m going out to eat tonight. 

Still, I smile and hope to ease her fettering nerves. “What are we eating tonight, Effie?” 

She's strangling her satin galaxy gloves with her hands, but she tries to give me her best smile. “Oh, Peeta. My apologies. President Snow has invited you to dine with him at the Pavillion. It is the most esteemed restaurant in Panem, Peeta. You typically have to reserve months in advance- unless you are the President, of course! I hear the service is to die for!”

I’m sure it is. Maybe the President wishes to finally collect on his promise to make me pay for duping the capitol during the 74th games. 

My prep team and Portia arrive an hour later to prepare me for dinner. Portia must have given them a warning because they are quiet the entire time, letting the recent scandal hang in the air unattended.

Portia gives me a striking blue blazer that matches the shade of my eyes. The shoulder pads are covered in glinted crystals that shimmer when the light hits them. 

“You’re still dazzling, Peeta,” Portia says, kissing my cheek. “Don’t let anyone take that from you.”

It makes me smile. Because she's right. Even after everything that has happened to me so far…I am still me. That is more than I can ask for. 

A hired driver takes me to the Pavilion. At the sight of its large glass domed exterior, I pause. I think I've seen this place before.

It's not until I am ushered inside by a server, that I am sure. This was the greenhouse that was in Cynthia Nightshade's photobook. I recognized the flowers and the detailing on the gazebos that are scattered around the area. 

I am led to the VIP section behind the large hedge wall, passing the rows and rows of flower bushes, marble statues and stone fountains. There I find President Snow sitting at a modest round table. Beside him is a familiar looking man. 

"Welcome, Peeta Mellark. Glad you see you have accepted my invitation," President Snow says with an amused look. "I believe you've met Plutarch Heavensbee before." 

My eyes turn to the middle aged man with a round belly and purple suit. I remember him. He danced with Katniss at the party. He was a Gamemaker a few years ago. The man gives me a smile that rubs me the wrong way. 

"Yes, we met at the party at your estate," I say.  

"Wonderful, then there is no need for introductions," Snow says with a twisted smile. "Have a seat, Mr. Mellark. We have much to discuss." 

I obey and take the seat closest to me. The servers begin to bring out dishes. I will never understand capitol cuisine. While there is an overabundance of food, they plate the smallest amount on the largest plates they can find. It's insulting, really. This artistic display of fake food scarcity. I'm sure it tastes as amazing as it looks. Too bad I have barely an appetite tonight. 

President Snow chuckles to himself. He must have found something I did funny. Maybe he thinks my hesitation is funny. I highly doubt he'd poison my food, but I wouldn't rule it out.

Plutarch thinks nothing of it. He's already cutting into his meal as he begins to talk. "Now, Peeta, I am sure you've seen the vid of Katniss. It's spreading like wildfire on social media." 

I swallow deeply. I roll a ball of what I think is a beat around my plate with a fork. "I don't pay attention to that stuff, but I saw it on the evening news." 

"Right. We don't expect you to know how capitol social media works anyway," Plutarch laughs to himself. "Anyway, since the vid surfaced, there has been an outpouring of support for you. You have the nation's heart, you know. And you being all cooped up in your room is making everyone absolutely sick with worry." 

"I know," I say plainly, "I've gotten more gifts since the scandal." 

My eyes turn to President Snow, who watches me over the rim of his wine glass. Was this his plan all along? By releasing the vid, he's effectively turned the narrative on its head, hasn't he. Katniss and Peeta are no longer star crossed lovers, but the cheater and the poor stupid love-sick puppy. Is that all it's going to take to end this rebellion? 

"I'm sure you have!" Plutarch agrees, "which is exactly why we're here today." 

I cock a brow, "we are?" 

"Yes," Snow grins, "I think it's about time Panem moves on from Katniss Everdeen. 

My eyes narrow, I grip my fork tightly in my hand. "So what do you suggest?" 

Plutarch answers, his eyes bright. I feel something akin to dread in my stomach. 

"A TV-show with you as the star. What better way to give Peeta Mellark his happy ending than finding his one true love?"  

Chapter 4 >>

[fangirleaconmigo]

It looks like she's using tempera paint, which is a water based and similar to H²O colour paint.

Paint is made from a few ingredients, pigment (the colour which usually exists as a powder before mixing), binder (holds the pigment suspended, in this case I'd assume it's gum arabic), and the vehicle which in this case is water, it gets the pigment+binder moving around (in the olden days egg whites or yolks were used as a binder, the Last Supper was painted in egg tempera!).

Tempera dries quickly, is pretty translucent, but is not that great for mixing paint directly on the page. Mixing on a pallet (wax paper it great!) then applying colours in layers and letting them dry inbetween will be a useful approach. A thicker paper might help with curling, cardstock or H²O colour paper.

If mixing two paints to get a desired shade it is way easier to mix little amounts of a darker hue into a bigger portion of a lighter one (mixing dark into light can get frustrating and takes a long time using a lot of paint!!). When building up your composition it's advantageous to paint the lightest areas first and gradually make your way up to the darkest ones at the end. Also the white of the page behind the paint helps makes colours pop!

Adding white to a colour makes it lighter but, it will also help to keep it on the more opaque side (a good trick for yellows if you're finding them too see though). Wrangling tempera can be tricky!! That's why I don't really use it. 😉

Drawing a light sketch in pencil can help immensely and get your niece's composition closer to her reference photo. I'd encourage her to look for the shapes she sees in the photo and try to draw those. Each area of colour could be a shape, e.g. the mountain is like a white triangle but the dark shadow makes a smaller trapezoid shape within the snowy peak. Looking at the shape of negative space around your subject helps just as much as looking at the positive space.

To get your paintings to imitate nature, you often have to break things down in an unnatural feeling way. It all comes down to experimentation and every experiment holds value! Even if you hate the result and think it's ugly don't throw them away, it's really useful to refer to and see what worked or what you want to try different next time.

And I find a lot of times an experiment will come out better than even your original idea. I feel it's the accumulation of 'happy accidents' which can grow and bloom into your own completely unique style!

End of ramble <3

Thank you so much! That makes so much sense. I don’t really know about the different kinds of paint but knowing how they behave differently helps.

I’m thinking about finding a video tutorial for the kind of landscape she wants, buying whatever paint they use, and and following it.

I think as long as she gets to do a pink and blue sky with snow in the frame (she kept calling it a polar sky) she’ll be happy.

I have the suspicion that I’m also gonna learn to paint a thing or two from this process. It just hurts my heart to see her so upset by her own work. I’m like…you’re a kid! This is supposed to be fun! But I also get it. And hopefully a little improvement will encourage her.

It took me this long to realize that anyone can learn pretty much anything with guidance and practice, and hopefully she can learn that sooner than I did.

[blessedwithlucky7s]

Scratch Pad | Journal Entries Vol.01

OCTOBER 18th, 2021 | 11:58AM

Sometimes the sadness I feel becomes so overwhelming that I would rather kill myself to end all of this suffering, than to stay alive, here, and feel this way.

It's so melancholic, this existence... every year it declines in substance, and the more humanity I encounter along my journey (here, on Earth! lol), the less unique or exclusive I am beginning to find  human beings  as a whole, and, the more cynical in nature am I beginning to find “the meaning life”; then again, perhaps nature’s cynicism is beginning to really rub off on me…

Whatever the answer, it’s all irrelevant anyway…  I no longer exist on a plane in which I am able to accurately judge the answer to that question.

I feel like my life started out like something from some beautiful (whimsical) fairytale. Every memory, or moment in time was something I'd liken out of the many Disney movies and story books I grew up with; and then, as time has gone on, it has began to twist out... bent unto a deformed, older and more mature (and extremely peculiar) horror-tale, near sucked-dry it's brilliance, or substance (colour), my life is currently in sepia:

greyscale "coming soon" to a city near you...!

And, as I stare at my old Facebook photos, (or, when my Facebook got deleted the first time,) the photos on my pc: when I try and look back into "how things used to be", I see not only one, but about 12 distinctly different memories about what happened back then..

And now that I've travelled so far away from that time, I feel like Dorothy, or Alice... and in that moment I want nothing more than to be in the home of my true memories, filled with vibrance again, brighter than day, and more clear than the full moon lighting up the darkness...

"There's no place like home...

There's no place like home..."

... 🌇 ...

And, just like that, all my beloved Disney-themed fairytale narratives are no more..

Princesses being swept away by a knight in shining armour, dragons fighting the king and kings men, guarding a city of thorns... Gone.

All that lay in their wake were the twisted versions of their predecessors.  The princesses became whores, the princes: deformed, scared and scary, real, versions of their former selves.. some dead before their happy ending was to come, (their long lost love and thus their lives, undone) - and the remaining? Why, swallowed whole by the dragon, of course!

Nothing but dust and cobwebs adorn The City of Thorn's gates, thick as thieves, yet to be disturbed in this strange futuristic neo-fairytale city..

And, like the lost pages of my fairytales, I too have come undone.

I numb the pain of my existence, and the gravity of my trauma with heavy drug-use. Opiates, stimulants, benzos, ghb/14b... whatever  I’m able to get my hands on.

Each day, I spend it as if it is my last; not knowing if I will wake up after the last shot of smack I had.

Like Snow-White, or Sleeping Beauty, I'm  -

__________----------__________----------__________----------________----------__________----------__________----------

///…There is an obvious break here: I more than likely just passed out… Probably from exhaustion (due to crying myself to sleep, lol**). Anyway, moving on...\\\

OCTOBER 21st, 2021 | 11:58AM

I used to wake-up and "Carpe Diem"!

Nowadays, in my wake I see the billowing path of destruction behind me where my body collapsed the previous night (or morning), and give-up before I've even finished looking at the mess I may blame my partner on but honestly, it is my own fault for allowing things to get this way.. I just don’t know how to deal with that, though.

//__All I know now__\\ All that I am certain of at this point in my life,  is that one day, if I do not become just another statistic/number on a graph owned by the system:

If I survive this, and continue down the same path I am currently, then that means that one day (soon) the drugs are going to stop working… And when that happen’s,

I’m going to have to deal with whatever trauma guided me down this Rabbit Hole in the first place.

** Just want to note here guys, I tend to use a lot of comedy to kind of "get through" my traumas.  It helps me cope a lot better.

[peppermint-joys]

Headcanons for Dad Bruno Au… Pt. 5

Warnings: Encanto Spoilers?

a/n: More of a part II to the last chapter.

Calling the posts “chapters” because I want to.

prompt: My Single Dad Bruno au a continuation. Adelita is such a people pleaser.

Adelita Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) 5 (6)

Adelita couldn’t help but let her eyes wander around the small, cluttered space. She sat in the worn red seat, a warm mug of tea between her hands, her small legs dangling meters above the floor.

“Thank you for the tea. And- and the ruana, it’s very warm. I just need something one of the rats took. Then I’ll go. You won’t have to see me again.” She said, pulling the ruana that brought her so much comfort off. She held it out for him to take, avoiding his gaze the whole time.

She silently, carefully, searched the room. There was stuff everywhere, but she noticed immediately the absence of something important. A bed.

All Bruno could do at first was watch, watch as she carefully tiptoed around his things as if she were afraid the slightest touch would shatter them. Watch as she gently spoke to his rat’s, asking them about whatever she was missing.

He hadn’t seen her in a month. She seemed the same but felt different. Still polite, still tentative - however, the light behind her eyes had dimmed - still precious.

“What’s the funniest thing you saw this week?”

Adelita briefly tensed as her conversation with rat number four was interrupted, then shrugged.

She wanted to tell him all about Antonio slipping into the shallow river while they’d been jumping on the rocks. And how he pulled her after him when he caught her laughing. She wanted to tell him the day it happened, but he wasn’t there.

Besides, he was just making conversation, or being polite as her Abuela would say.

The rat appeared from a crack in the boarded up wall, the crumpled paper still held between its teeth. It shook off some cement dust and scurried to Bruno. Dropping the paper on the table in front of the man.

Panic set in once more as her mental faculties surrendered to her emotions, waiting for Bruno to begin to unravel the crumpled parchment.

“No, don’t touch that! You don’t touch this! Don’t ever touch it! It’s mine!“ Adelita snapped, ripping the paper from his grasp. The sudden outburst caught both of them off guard.

She looked away as her lips trembled, eyes filling to the brim with tears she refused to let fall.

But Bruno noticed.

She backed away and cowered in the corner of the beaten chair.

She hadn’t meant to yell. She hadn’t.

“It’s okay, you don’t like me anymore.” She started softly, averting her gaze to the floor. “I’m not mad. I understand. It’s all my fault. I’m always telling you about things, keeping you up, giving you leaves, and silly colourings. I’m sorry.”

Bruno had never seen the little girl so… so broken.

He cautiously sat beside her. They were both silent. Both unwilling, too scared to look at the other.

“You know… my favorite part of the day was hearing about yours.”

Their eyes met. Her eyes, flecks of deep brown married with lighter caramel hues, searched for the slightest bit of dishonesty.

Bruno noticed her subconsciously picking at the thread poking out of the fabric, and couldn’t stop the small smile that formed on his lips.

“All the silly drawings and shiny leaves.” He teasingly poked at her side, making her crumple over, almost managing a smile. “I wouldn’t trade them for anything,” he added, looking over to crate crudely labeled ‘mi cariña’

He wouldn’t. Every coloring page, every leaf she thought looked cool, he’d saved.

She gave a hint of a smile. But as quickly as it appeared, it vanished.

“Then why did you go?”

There was another silence.

Adelita sighed, sinking into her seat. “Everyone leaves eventually.”

Bruno tracked her eyes to the paper, now unraveled, in her hands.

It was a photo of what he recognized as Adelita’s Abuela, a younger, smaller version of the little girl and a man he could only assume was her father.

She’d talk at length about her family before. About her Abuela, and mama. How her parents met. However, he now realized she never went into great detail papa.

“He left too.“

“I didn’t leave because of you, chiquita. I left because of me.”

Adelita reluctantly tore her eyes away from the photo.

“Because I’m Bruno and I make bad things happen. You were so happy. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

She heard him mutter something about a goldfish.”

“Bruno? What do you mean you make bad things happen?”

In all the time she’d known him, he’d been nothing but weird, good weird and kind.

“Bruni?” She placed a small hand on his shoulder.

He still melts when she calls him Bruni.

He smiled at them, then he pulled her onto his lap. She went on guard, fingers curling into the fabric of her night skirt. Though she knows it’s just Bruno, her emotions and history gave way to mistrust.

“I’m going to tell you a story,” Bruno says, tenderly brushing some of the tears that’d glazed her cheeks away with his thumb.

“I do like stories,” she whispered, wiping the snot beneath her nose off with the sleeve of her nightgown.

Bruno chuckles softly. He knows she does.

Bruno told his truth, in the simple way one would tell a young child, in the words of fable. He told her of the fantastical Madrigal family and all they could do, and of the one Madrigal son who stained their name. So one day they he left.

Her distress had faded. Concern and sympathy became her lead emotions as she listened.

When his story concluded, she didn’t hesitate, wrapping her arms around his torso.

“That story needs a happier ending. You should go back to your family. I’m sure they miss you.” She told him.

Bruno seemed slightly taken aback by the little one’s words, carefully returning her hug.

“I’m sorry I yelled. I’m tired, I got eated by the house, I thought you left… cause of me, but still I shouldn’t have yelled at you. That was mean rude. Will you forgive me?” She apologised, gripping on her hair. Adelita looked up at him, her chocolate eyes shining with hope.

He couldn’t explain the sense of innocence he felt from her. The urge to shield her from all harm was incredibly strong.

(Perhaps stronger than it had already been.)

“Never because of you. I felt it was better for you. But it was not okay for me to leave, especially the way that I did. I’m sorry I disappeared. I’m sure that was hurtful and scary for you. Tu eres mi familia. Mi familia es tu familia. Can you forgive me?”

Her lips curved upward, and she tugged at her curls.

He began to trip over his words. “I know, I know it’ll-it’ll take time to earn your trust again and I don’t deserve a second chan-“

She didn’t let him finish, hugging him as tight as she possibly could. She happily exhaled, snuggling against his chest.

“Mi familia. Mine,” she hummed.

Adelita sat on Bruno’s shoulders as he walked her home.

The sun would be rising soon.

She was exhausted, emotionally and physically. Though Bruno was speaking, she couldn’t make out a thing he said. She was losing to the stealthy and quiet lure of sleep.

“Ah! Abejita! What are you doing out here!?” Adelita awoke on the front step of her home, to the panicked voice of her Abuela. “Look at you, bebé, you’re filthy. What is this dust? Abejita are your alright.” Adelita couldn’t get word out as her grandmother cupped her cheeks, checking her over.

She let out a tired hum, lightly removing Abuela's hands from her cheeks. “I’m fine Abuela. Sleepy, buuut… fine.”

[finelinevogue]

I am *respectfully* begging for a oneshot based off the song Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift🥺

okay let’s have a bit of fun with this mwhaha;

The moon was at full peak.

She was sat in the black canvas of a starry sky, shining down on the party below or at least so you thought she was. The flute glasses glowed under her brightness and bubbled with happiness. The pool was reflecting her image so beautifully. Everyone looked amazing in their gorgeous evening outfits of silk and lace, Gucci and Prada, chatting and laughing away as the night was close to striking midnight.

“Such a lovely party, Y/N.” Another guest thanked you, you not having the faintest idea of who they were.

You and Harry were hosting a dinner party in the back garden of his Malibu palace to celebrate his recent success over this past year. He’d had movie after movie, along with an album and a tour. He had done exceptionally well for himself, so he wanted to throw the most lavish party to celebrate with his friends and family that had helped him through it all. You had been in charge of organising food and a live band, Harry in charge of the guest list, Mitch in charge of decorations - bu really it had been Sarah - and Gemma in charge of the drinks; specifically champagne.

“I’m glad.” You smiled, as you poured yourself another glass of the bubbles. You felt the warmth of someones hand slide onto your exposed back, making you shiver with temptation and love.

“Have I told you just how beautiful you look this evening?” Harry spoke softly against your ear, kissing over the skin where his words had touched you.

He had been showing you off all night, always introducing you as ‘my beautiful girlfriend’ and keeping you close to him whenever he could. He would pull out his wallet and show people the picture he kept of you in there. It was one he’d taken of you laughing as you ran away from him on the beach. Even though the photo was black and white it was obvious how happy you were. He loved having you near and whenever someone said that they hadn’t seen you yet, he knew to go straight to the desserts table and find you shovelling yet another chocolate coated strawberry into your mouth not-so-gracefully.

“You have, but I won’t stop you if you want to do it again.” You replied, quite enjoying the flattering compliments. You’d dressed yourself in a silky evening gown that was in a deep red colour and Harry was having a hard time keeping his hands off of you. The front was v-cut, with the back completely open too, so it left your skin exposed for Harry to treat himself to. You turned around in his hold and pushed your body into his, making him hum in appreciation.

“I can’t stop thinking how much I want to kiss you.” He looked at your lips as he spoke, wanting to stain his own lips with the bold colour you’d painted on yours. You were so delicious and he wanted to devour every inch of you.

“Well what’s stopping you?” You reached a hand up to scrunch his curls under your fingers, the bracelets on your arm sliding down and jingling with another.

“Meet me upstairs in 5 minutes.” He replied, making you furrow your eyebrows in curiosity of what he was playing at.

“Should I ask why?”

“You shouldn’t, I don’t want to answer when my mum is standing just across the room.” He made you both chuckle, before leaning back from you to give you a quick once over. “Wow.” He breathed out, the biggest grin to his face. “5 minutes.”

And then he was gone.

You bit your lip as he rushed straight over to his mum and sister, who were both eagerly smiling at him. You couldn’t help but fall in love with him a little more at the sight. He was so innocent and full of love and happiness, you were so in awe of him and his beautiful qualities.

You did a quick scour of the room, making sure there were no unhappy faces, before heading in the direction of the bathroom to freshen up before visiting Harry. As you walked up the stairs you noticed a conversation between one of Harry’s cousins and one of his American friends, it sounded quite argumentative so you went to make sure everything was alright.

“You both okay?” You asked sweetly, your heels clicking on the floor as you approached them.

“God you’re just everywhere aren’t you?” The friend laughed, but you could tell she wasn’t laughing for a joke.

“I’m sorry?” You asked shocked at her tone, wondering what the problem was here.

“You’re so up in everyone else’s business always.”

“I don’t understand—”

“No of course you don’t. God, I understand why Harry finds you so annoying and clingy.”

“Kia—” The cousin gasped in shock of Kia’s words.

“No, you know i’m right Rachel just be quiet.” Kia shushed Rachel and brought her attention back to you.

“Harry thinks i’m clingy?” You asked, trying to understand what was really going on.

“That amongst lots of other things.”

“He would never. He loves me.” Your argued, slight tears in your eyes from letting her get to you like this. It was different than tabloids because you were actually hearing it from someone’s mouth, rather than an edited and faceless article. It stung so much more.

“And? Did you really think he would ever stick around for someone like you?” Kia laughed and then walked off, strutting her and her perfect body away from you and back to the main party area. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, trying to understand what her words truly meant to you.

“Y/N…” Rachel tried to console you, but you didn’t want her. You wanted Harry and yet now you didn’t.

“Do you think all that too?” You asked quietly, scared to hear an answer. You got your answer though when she spoke nothing and tilted her head down in shame. You understood. “Okay, thank you.” You quietly said and tried your best to smile, but you knew it didn’t reach your eyes.

You started walking towards the stairs, thinking what this all meant. You always had a back thought that Harry was too good for you, but you just never let yourself be put in the position to think upon that thought. Now though. Now, you were thinking.

Of course you would be naive enough to think that your happily ever after would be with the one man who’s heart could be taken by every other woman on the planet. Even your university teacher had once talked about having a crush on him and he had only been 21 at the time. You never thought here, when he was 27, would you possibly be the one to hold his heart. You did, though, but it wouldn’t be forever - Kia was right, Rachel was right. Everyone knew, but you were just too blinded by his love for you right now to think that it will just wilt away in the future. You were a rose, beautiful and in it’s prime as it flourished on the love it was fed, but after time when even the smallest amounts of love are forgotten to be given the rose wilts and so dies. It’s forgotten about in turn and left to degrade itself into oblivion.

You walked the stairs slowly, completely numb to your core. How could all of 5 minutes turn your emotions 180° and permanently? Your brain ran over the thoughts and little moments that you should’ve picked up on before. Like, when Harry forgot your anniversary and blowing it off that he had been at some work-do but he’d really been at Karlie Kloss’ birthday party. Like, when Harry stopped sending you postcards when he was on tour. Like, when he did that heart-rate test and saw a picture of Camille, looking utterly stunning, on the Victoria Secret runway his heart beat was incredibly high. Is that what he wanted 30 years from now? A model? Someone who was in the same business as him and could understand. You tried to, you really did, but it was starting to feel like maybe you weren’t to be enough.

Making your way down the hallway this way, you couldn’t help but feel like it was for the last time. There was this gut feeling that whatever Harry wanted you for, was going to make sure you were both reminded why you couldn’t be together.

“Damn. You’re a vision.” Harry whistled and you then spotted him at the end of the hallway, the moon shining in through the window and lighting him up like the pure angel he was. You weren’t worthy of his heart. You could only chuckle, not having the passion to make a flirty comment back. Not anymore.

“Listen Harry—” “Okay I have to ask you—” You both talked at the same time, bringing only a nervous chuckle to your face.

“You first.” He offered.

“No, you.” You offered back and he took it.

“Okay, alright.” He breathed in heavily. “You’re so beautiful.” He started, making you blush a little but it was dim up here so you weren’t worried about him noticing. Hopefully he didn’t see the sadness in your eyes either.

“Thank you.” You replied humbly.

“And I want to be able to wake up and tell you that every single day—”

“Harry…” You cut him off, your heart having just dropped so low to the floor.

“Yes?”

“Is this…”

“If you let me continue, yes.” He laughed, thinking that you were happy for him to continue. He was about to, but you cut him off.

“Don’t.” You said, a shake in your voice that was very apparent.

“Don’t— what?” He asked confused, stepping closer to you and only for you to step back. He stopped when he noticed that he would not be able to make distance to you, furrowing his eyebrows and looking hurt. Really hurt. Pain that you and you alone were causing him.

“Don’t ask me the question I think you’re about to.” You held of your hand to both stop him coming closer and to stop him talking. “Just don’t.”

“Baby… what?” Harry asked confused, tears visible in his eyes now. He just wanted to be near you and understand.

“Harry… Don’t make me say it.” You warned him.

“Say what?”

“Harry…”

“Y/N, say what?”

“No!” You shouted, loud enough that people downstairs might’ve heard. “No, Harry. No. I won’t marry you.” You started to cry and let the tears fall freely. You deserved to feel like your heart had been ripped from your chest, the same way you deserved to cry forever. You deserved nothing but pain to repay the damage you’d caused Harry.

“Wha—” He started, but you were too selfish to stick around and watch him crumble. You shot off down the hallway and down the stairs, making your way to the front door. Luckily you didn’t have to go through the masses of people to face the disappointing faces. Luckily no one had to see your cries, except Kia. She was stood by the front door, holding out your coat already as if she were waiting for you.

“Kia what—”

“You thought this evening was for Harry? No. It was for you.” She shoved your coat to you, making you stumble back from the force.

“What?”

“This was your surprise engagement party, with the surprise being the fucking engagement. Everyone knew about it apart from you. He had this plan of asking you and then coming downstairs to everyone yelling surprise. Seems like you fucked that up though.” She sneered at you and your sobs fell from your throat harder than before, your makeup ruining the prettiness of your face as it ran from all the salty tears.

“But you…”

“I what? Said a bunch of bullshit? I was only saying things you’ve heard a million times before. I was making sure you were the right person for our Harry. Seems like you’re far from it.” She chuckled, shaking her head in disappointment at you.

“You’re cruel.”

“No, Y/N, you are. You just did the one thing that I would’ve never done; break Harry’s heart.” She looked at you in disgust before opening the door for you. You gave her one last look, hate in her eyes for you, before you walked outside with the door slamming forcefully behind you. Your heart being left besides Harry’s broken one.

[lesyasun]

A while ago I received an interesting question about game aesthetics. The person in that ask really struggles with downloading stuff and finding their own style. They asked me how I came up with what you see on my screenshots. Have you ever thought that you can recognize whose screenshot this is by just a quick glance? Is editing important in photoshop? How to take beautiful screenshots? Today let’s talk about how different one single game could be for each of us and what really makes this mysterious “sims aesthetics”.

EDIT: Sorry, it turned out to be huge with lots of random thoughts :D I hope at least one percent of these is useful!

NOTE: English is not my native language, I apologize for possible grammar or spelling mistakes. I tried my best in writing this!

Ok, let’s imagine that you’re a person who just obtained the sims game or just want a nice fresh start and demolished your download folder. (We all need fresh starts sometimes, right?) The struggle is that you have no idea which style you like the best. There are so many sims blogs. Everyone seems to enjoy what they post but you’re a little bit lost in that jungle. Don’t worry! I’ll try to guide you and share my thoughts.

STEP 1 Choose your general style

I roughly divide all sims blogs that I see on my dashboard into a couple of so-called styles. I’ve been doing it in my mind for ages. I like following different people and seeing diferent editing. None of them are better than others. I hope you understand that it’s just a matter of liking. Ok, here we go. Let me put this sorting hat on you :D

1. Realistic 

Screenshot by @luchiatores

Perhaps, it’s the most important thing that you should decide for yourself. Wether you should use realistic textures in your game or you’d prefer to stick to more cartoonish maxis match ones. Why is it so important, to my mind? I like things that match. Just imagine game Witcher 3 where characters and surroundings are realistic. And now imagine Minecraft where things are pixelated. Both games are great, both games have certain beautiful styles. And now imagine Geralt hunting for monsters in a pixelated Minecraft swamp. A bit strange, isn’t it? :D The same applies to Sims. If you put a super realistic skintone on your sim and put a Maxis ponytail, that would probably look strange too. If you choose this style, just try to dig for a good quality content, start following simblrs in this style. Unfortunately, I’m not an expert when it comes to realistic content. So, try to drop an ask to someone whose realistic game you like. There are so many helpful people around in the sims community no matter what style they have :)

2. Trully Maxis Match

screenshot by @whattheskell

This is a complete opposite of a realistic style. I’ve always called people who use a lot of original maxis textures “trully maxis” :D If you can decorate a house without any custom content, if you like the way original hairstyles look, if you like Maxis clothes, you should go this way. From what I’ve spot after being so many years in the sims community, “trully” maxis simblr are so creative when it comes to storytelling. The stories that they write about either their sims/or maxis premades are so breathtaking. So much drama, so much fun. The only thing that I write about my screenshots is “Ok, this is my cat! Look, it can eat flowers and puke afterwardst! Yay! Cute”. If you choose this way, I can recommend you to check out @holleyberry, @didilysims or @moocha-muses. Obviously there are a lot more blogs that I follow. These people are just so sweet and helpful and they’re first who came to my mind. 

3. Bright Maxis Matchery

screenshot by @muupi

This is where I refer myself to. This style is still Maxis but what stands out is the use of bright colours and saturated photoshopped pictures. Ah, my love for overedited pictures is endless <3 This is what I’m going to talk a lot below since it’s my cup of tea. It’s all about colours and pallete addiction. If you love looking at super bright/silly/cheery screenshots and they boost up your mood, than join the squad! 

Basically, Maxis match (I’ll just shorten for MM from now on) players avoid super shiny skins or hair textures and prefer to have content with Simlish letters instead of English ones. This is a very important factor for me when I choose paintings or prints for T-shirts. I don’t know, I feel like it’s so cute that sims can’t understand our languages, talk this funny gibberish simlish language. It’s cute! There are so so many people that I can recommend. @lina-cherie @keoni-chan @kahlenas They are first who came to my mind <3

4. Grungy/cosmic

screenshot by @lilithpleasant 

I don’t know if these are suitable words :D But this is how I describe people’s game who like aliens/supernatural sims/grungy textures with or without bright colours as well. Just think would you prefer a bit of a grungy stuff or less-textured but cleaner MM? You always need to think about textures while you download stuff. I can recommend to check out @pooklet or @furbyq-sims 

5. Semi

screenshot by @whysim 

You might ask me “Why am I not allowed to put a realistic skintone on a maxis sim? What the hell?” Of course, you are! Do it please, if you want. There are no rules, no restrictions. You CAN go semi-realistic, you CAN mix patterns, you CAN mix colours. There’s only one rule: please, enjoy what you do. Don’t be afraid to share your pictures on the Internet. There will always be people who can judje your style and say: “meh, it’s too dull, meh, it’s too bright, meh, too shiny, meh, too plain meh, meh, meh”. Just don’t pay attention and enjoy your game. As for semi-realistic I can recommend such wonderful people as @marvelann @lilith-sims @falkii @knowledgeaspiration 

A bit about my style: I’ve always loved cartoonish/bright style. I’ve never ever played with shiny textures. Before Tumblr era I just played either without CC or with a bunch of maxis recolours. How I came up with the idea of cartoonishness? Pretty simple. It’s a part of my personality, I think :) I’ve always loved Disney/Pixar movies. Cartoons just make life a lot funnier! They make me happy. I’m a pre-school teacher after all :D. You can’t imagine how many cartoons I’ve watched throughout my life. I can quote Peppa Pig and will never be tired of that :D Before Tumblr I just played some funny legacies (I’ve never finished any though :D) When I found out about Tumblr, and such great content that can make my game even more Disney looking, it just blew my mind! Every time when I download stuff, I imagine that I’m watching a Disney/Pixar or whatever studio cartoon. When I create sims, I feel like I’m a cartoon designer. Pretty silly, right? :D 

Let’s take a look at my screenshots from the past. I tried to find similar ones with a lot of greenery.

2014

2021

I stil like a lot of greenery. Editing has changed, photo angles have changed. But bright colours and Maxis stuff are forever in my heart <3

Risa (2014)

Gage (2021) 

As I’m a big cartoon addict, I love recreating game/anime/cartoon characters. No matter, if they’re my favourite or requested ones. I love when my sims have different traits. I love when they’re funny looking/clumsy/absent-minded or when they’re evil/supernatural. When they are pirates/detectives/vampires or witches. This is my way of playing Sims. I love this game as it gives us possibilities to show your creativity, a chance to recreate our favourite characters. A chance to be a writer of storylines or if you’re bad at telling stories, just being “a cartoon designer” like me :)

STEP 2 Colour palettes

If you’ve chosen the path of “bright maxis matchery” than colour palettes are super important! Oh, you can’t imagine how addicted I am to certain colours. I can download GBs because of it.

Here are some of my favourite colour palettes:

1. Anna’s colours

My absolutely favourite palette. I would download absolutely anything in these pretty colours. Just looking at them makes me so cozy *0* There’s a photoshop action for those who want to recolour CC in this palette.

2. Poppet’s colours

I especially like the latest one. So pretty! @poppet-sims is the queen of lovely recolours. She has some more palettes. But “Back to Basics is my favourite”

3. Eversims colours

@eversims has got a lot of pretty colour palettes. But the most iconic one is Ever So Lovely

So, these are the basic colours that I like downloading furniture/clothes with. 

There are a couple more pretty palettes that I like:

Huning’s Pony Colours

Back in the days it was my ultimate favourite one. But these days I edit my pictures in Photoshop excessively and prefer calmer colours and add bright layers in photoshop instead.

Nyren’s Kosmic Colours

If you’re more into pastels, than try to download some stuff in this pretty palette.

You might wonder if I use all of these colours. Of course not! I have a selection of colours that I use: apple green, sky blue, yellow, red, pink, orange, purple, teal, mint. I absolutely love combining 2 or 3 of these in my interior shots. I also love choosing my sims’ favourite colours and dressing them/decorating their bedroom in this certain colour(s).

For example, my sim Mia likes apple green/purple and mint.

I think @deedee-sims can relate. While I prefer choosing a favourite colour per sim, she chooses favourite colour for the whole family!

This is a great idea, I think! :)

STEP 4 Bodyshop stuff

Ok, I hope it’s clear that I’m colour palettes addicted, now let’s move onto actual custom content and what I prefer adding to my game. I decided to divide CC by sections. Let’s start with Bodyshop.

4.1 Skintones

Another important thing that you need to choose for yourself. There are tones ofoptions. I’m going to recommend only MM skins as obviously I have no idea which realistic or semi-realistic ones are high quality.

screenshot by @deedee-sims

If you prefer trully maxis skintones, I recommend you to try Leh’s skintones. It’s super close to original ones in terms of shades. Also look at those button noses! These cute noses is the reason why I started using this skin back in 2014. But later I switched to Lilith’s feather as I wanted more variety and those noses there got a lovely shine.

It was my default skin for a lot of years. These days I own every possible skintone by Lilith and various blends by other people.

Lilith’s Alien Flavor

Lilith’s Android Skin Edit

Lilith’s Apple Pie Skinblend v.2

Lilith’s Apple Pie Skinblend

Lilith’s Apple Pie by Kahlena

Lilith’s Feather Skinblend

Lilith’s Feather Skins 

Lilith’s Feather by Sim-Strangers

Lilith’s Feathers Colourful by Berrynooboos

Lilith’s Honey Supernatural Custom

Lilith’s Honey with freckles

Lilith’s Honey with no freckles

Lilith’s Honey Unnatural by Berrynooboos

Pixel-danger-sims pastel skins

Here’s a very handy set-up by Vimpse with Lilith’s skins being townified.

Try to choose one set of skins or download all of them by one certain creator. I need a lot of skins because I love creating tones of sims and I want to make them various looking.

4.2 Eyes

 ♦  Polaroid ♦ - my favourite

♦ Transcendental ♦

♦ Sleeping Lion ♦

♦  Sharp Eyes ♦

♦ Shallowed in the Sea ♦

♦ Hand Outs and Punch Ups ♦

These are just some of my eyes. There are some more by Poppet, by Kahlena. And I have various addons to these sets that I grabbed over and here. I remember having struggles of choosing only one set. But than I thought: why do I have to choose if I like all of them and want my sims to look as different as possible? I just love when they are cartoonish but high-quality with nice white clean sclera. Just look at Disney Rapunzel. You’ll see what I mean ^_^

There’s one little trick that most mm players do for making sims’ eyes bigger and rounder - adding a whiteline eyeliner by jesstheex. I personaly do it for every single sim of mine.

4.3 Makeup

I use tooooons of blushes, lipsticks and eyeshadows. I have everything by Lilith and Jesstheex. And lots of bits and bobs by various creators. I love using both matte or shiny textures. I sometimes add nose shine or use special nosemasks. There are various lovely things in my collection. What I can recommend you is to download a sim that you like by another creator with the help of Sims Clean Installer and just steal makeup from the sim to add to your collection *evil laughter* I recommend to do it because sometimes there are some mouth corners or various eyebags and etc which are difficult to find. It’s easier to grab them together with sims.

For example, I grabbed the shiny nosemasks from one of Lilith’s sims.

Sometimes I like adding a bit of shine on Sims’ noses. Some sims of mine don’t have shine. It really depends on a sim. But what I definitely like is cute button noses! I like using nosemasks to achieve that. I have all the masks by Lilith and these ones by kahlena.

4.4 Hair textures

Another important decision for you is the hair textures. I recommend you to choose one certain retexture. Back in the days, I used to have Remi’s textures

screenshot by @selenaq13 

I liked Remi’s ones because they were non-shiny. They had maxis colours and a really cool yellowish blonde! 

Receintly I switched to Simgarooped as I’ve always loved that there are 6 naturals. The yellowish blonde is still there! Plus my favourite Deedee-sims keeps updating every week with the retextures of new meshes <3

There are lots of various textures blends. Just search, download, play test. Think, if you’re ready to look at such type of hair hours of simming.

Also try to decide if you’d like to have more natural looking sims or go crazy and have supernatural/aliens. I used to have really bright sims with colourful skins and hairs.

Even my toddlers had unnatural hairs. It’s a lot of fun! But right now I prefer to create more natural looking sims though I like vampires/witches/aliens anyways!

screenshot by @honeylungsims 

If you would like to have colourful supernatural sims, check out Honeylung! She has the brightest and most unusual supernatural sims <3 

You’ll need a lot of face masks/bright lips/shadows. Check out @berrynooboos​ for the cutest alien CC.

4.5 Facial hair and Brows

I don’t think they should really match as long as they look great.

For example, I use eyebrows by @suratan-zir which are super cute and high quality but use Poppet’s textures instead of Simgarooped.

As for facial hair, I use some Poppet’s as well.

by Skoogy

by Poppet #1

by Poppet #2

by Simgaroop

4.6 Clothes

As I already mentioned, I love clothes in my favourite palettes. I love Simlish prints. There are so so many creators who share wonderful clothes.

I love @deedee-sims for age conversions, shoeswaps, morphs. I love @mdpthatsme for really cool 4t2 conversions. I love @moocha-muses for colourful T-shirts <3 Don’t be shy to send me a WCIF about a certain item of clothing.

STEP 5 Buy and Build

Tooons of bright recolours, IKEA items, Maxis add-ons, 3t2 and 4t2 conversions - all these things make my heart beat :D

These days I play in a rural-type world. I download a lot of craftsman-style build things, a lot of plants and garden deco.

I love bright wallpapers and greenhouses, I love clutter and kids CC for nurseries. Patterns with polka dots and plumbobs. Sunflowers and tulips. This is what I usually drop into my download folder :)

STEP 6 Taking screenshots

No matter which recolours and textures you prefer, I think high-quality pictures are important. The first thing that you need to playtest for yourself is a camera mod. It’s upo for you, but I can’t live without Gunmod’s Camera Mod. There are some more available, just check out.

Also lighting is important since Maxis original is terrible. I use Dreadpirate’s mod. 

I recommend to take screenshots in a camera man mode. Click Tab to enter it. Use W, A,S,D,E buttons to move right/left/up/down etc. And what’s important, use X and Z for zooming in and out. I always use Z for example, when I take close ups of my cats.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with angles. Try some artistic ones.

You can move your camera down and take a screen from below.

Or vice versa from above.

Sometimes I’ll just take a screen of my sims’ hands or feet. It really depends. I love spending hours on just “walking” in a camera mod around my sims houses.

Another useful feature of this mod is to use Ctrl +4,5,6,7,8,9 buttons.

These can fix the angles for you. And after fixing them, when you click on 4,5,6,7,8,9 you camera will go back to those positions. It’s very handy when you want to screen 2 sims who are talking and there’s no need to constatntly move camera from sidde to side. Just fix it and wait for them to perform cute emotions!

As a bonus, you can fic positions in the life mode too. For example, I always choose a proper angle from above where the wgole house can be seen. And wait for something cute/funny/to happen.

Also there’s such a thing as The Rule of Thirds. It’s the rule of photography composition. I always try to follow it :)

STEP 7 Photoshop Editing

I love oversaturated colours. It can be too much for someone’s eyes, but I like the brightness :) I’ll share some good Photoshop resources. Probably, one thing that I can recommend to absolutely everyone no matter how bright you want your screens to be is sharpening! Seems that Tumblr eats our picture quality for breakfast. Sims screenshots seem so blurry to me. I love sharpening them first.

I use sharpening from Kalekaloo’s action.

After sharpening I run the base from Eversims Action and then add some colour layers from Simburgerr’s one (I like gradients and fluffy lights layers especially). It makes the reds colours a little bit too saturated but I think it’s cute!

There are a some more cute actions and PSD files out there:

OhMySims - Action 1

OhMySims - Action 2

Sterina’s Action

Photoshop PSDs by Pleyita

Snapdragoned PSD

Mandragore PSD by Kiinuu

JellyBeanery’s Action

Roguebotanist

Nnilou - 12:51

A generic PSD by Knowledgeaspiration

Colorize IT by Bonnypixels

Colour Crush by Bonnypixels

Just Like Heaven by Pixeldemographics

For more tips/palettes/cute fonts I recommend you to check out @bepixeled

That’s all that came to my mind. I hope at least something was useful!

[illyaana]

credits to the artists who made the fanarts I used!

Dorm Life - Shoto Todoroki

Thanks to @missuga for this collab! Sorry I gave to you late TwT Do check out their collab over here!

Tags: Shoto Todoroki x Reader, Binaural, Fluff, Cursing, Minor Angst, Kissing (escandalo)

Synopsis: A compilation of drabbles of your life during the pandemic, quarantined in the UA dorms.

Word Count: 2734

⋯⋯ ⫍ SFW Masterlist ◍ Navigation ⫎ ⋯⋯

Like my writing? Do you want a drabble specifically made for you about your love life with a character of your choosing? Check out my 50 followers event over here!

CLASSES

The Sun let its light brush against your skin, giving you a warm hug in the morning. You awoke to the pale blue skies that were painted so elegantly it made you stare. The cumulus clouds softly danced on its stage, etching a smile on your face. You looked around the room, checking for the clock to see what time it was currently.

10:00 a.m. - You were supposed to wake up at 8:00.

Worry rushed through you. The fear of you being late for class thrummed as you tried to get out of your bed.

Hint: tried.

You turned to your side and looked at the male beside you. His hands had found their way around your waist, pulling you in. His head was pressed against your shoulder. His twin-colored hair was disheveled thanks to him turning himself all through the night, His long eyelashes framed his closed lids, his lips slightly parted. Small snores came out in intervals as he snuggled into you, his vice grip around your body tightening even more.

You could help but trace his lips with your finger - it was so soft, you had to.

You pressed a kiss to his forehead, then laid your forehead against his.

“Get up, Sho - class starts in 10 minutes,” you said, rubbing his shoulder.

“I don’t want to, this is too comfortable,” he mumbled, rubbing his head on your shoulder.

“What are you, a cat?” You joked, placing your hands on his cheek, “Let me at least get my laptop on - I can tell Aizawa we’re sharing my laptop and we can just join the class here.”

“Getting the laptop means that you move - and you are not moving,” he said, tightening his grip on you.

“You know we’re going to be in trouble if we don’t join the class, right? Oh yeah, it starts in 5 minutes,” you said, slightly annoyed at him.

Shoto sighs in defeat, “Fine - but, hurry up,”

You pry his arms off of you and rush to your table to get the laptop on. Thankfully, you managed to join the class 3 minutes before it began.

“Aren’t you coming back in here?” Todoroki whined, patting the space beside him.

“Are you finally awake?” You question him.

“Kind of?”

“ ‘Kind of?’ “

“Yes, I am awake - I no longer need to sleep,” he groans.

You take your laptop and place it in the space between the two of you as you sit back on the bed. You pressed another kiss on his forehead, making him smile.

“Good morning, snowflake,” he says as he returns your kiss with one on your forehead.

“Good morning, Sho.”

“Now that you both have shown a great deal of affection, Y/N and Shoto,” Eraserhead says from your Zoom call, “Can my class finally begin?”

⁜

⁜

⁜

LUNCH BREAK

“I got the money from Aizawa for our meals! Can you all go through the menu and tell me what you want on the class group chat?” Momo shouted from the living room.

“Imagine eating great food for free?” Uraraka smiled, enjoying how our meals were paid for by the school itself, “The pandemic is amazing yet so annoying at the same time.”

You chuckle at the brown-haired girl, seeing her awe-filled expression.

“What are you getting?” You ask her.

“Hmm… maybe Udon? It’s been a long time since I ate it, and since it’s not coming from my pocket…” she eyed the menu, “I’m getting the most expensive one.”

“You know he gave a set amount for the whole class right?” You look at her mischievous expression.

“I’m pretty sure we can stay within the budget. Our class generally doesn’t spend much money on food, right?”

You looked across the room to see Kaminari and Kirishima going through the menu.

“You think those two will be reasonable with their spending? Knowing them, they’re most probably buying the whole menu plus snacks,” you say, looking at their joy-filled grins.

You saw Shoto walk beside Iida, heading towards the two males. Intrigued, you and Uraraka walked towards the group of four.

“Hey,” you say as you hug Shoto from the back, “Everything okay?”

“These two,” Iida said, anger laced in his words, “Ordered everything on the menu.”

You held back your laughter, unlike Uraraka.

“Your skills in predicting the future astound me, Y/N L/N,” she says, covering her mouth.

“Hush,” you say, smiling.

“The two of you…” Iida began, looking at the two wrongdoers, “I don’t know how your closer friends handle you two.”

You look at the scene unfolding in front of you, smiling.

Iida was full-on lecturing the two males, his hands moving in all ten directions. Kaminari and Kirishima just stood there, dumbfounded. You could see the two of them slowly spacing out from the ‘conversation’, but Iida kept going on.

“Hey,” Shoto whispered, “Wanna have a mini-date tonight? I’ll order a few things and get them sent here, and we can watch a movie together?”

“Don’t use the money Aizawa gave though - we don’t need a third victim of Iida’s lectures,” you whisper, earning a smile from the stoic male.

⁜

⁜

⁜

MINI-DATES

You opened the door to Shoto’s room, comfortably dressed in your Axolotl onesie. In your hands, you brought a hard drive filled with movies that you felt that you both would enjoy. Seeing that Shoto wasn’t in the room, you laid on his bed, waiting for the arrival of the owner of the room. Your eyes went straight to his mirror. He had slid multiple polaroid pictures of you and your friends in the corners of the mirror. Each one of the photos had a small remark, reminding you of all the memories you’ve made throughout your years in UA.

Your hands grazed on the photo he kept on the bedside table.

It was a picture of him and his mother smiling.

Your chest panged when you saw it. He had told you the story behind his scar and his life within the Todoroki household. His hatred for his father grew every day, yet he could never hate his mother - the very person who gave him the scar on his face.

“I love that picture, but not as much as I love this one,” Shoto said, pointing at a photo in the top-left corner of his mirror.

It was a picture of both of you visiting his mother with Fuyumi and Natsuo.

“I’ll admit Natsuo was not the most welcoming to the idea of me dating you, but he slowly loved you as a sibling. I did talk about you to Fuyumi a bunch of times, but she had her suspicions - that all changed when she met you, though. Mom…”

He hesitated, “...she didn’t like the idea of me dating anyone. Yet, you managed to make her like you so much, now she only asks about you whenever I call her,” he chuckled.

“My family loves you - except Endeavor, of course,” he groaned.

“He’ll come around, eventually. You, however,” you walk up to him and cup his face, “Need to talk to him properly - no filter, just say everything.”

You lie back down on the bed, patting the space beside you, “Hurry up - the snacks you bought are calling me.”

After multiple small banters, you both finally decided on Shrek and began to watch the movie.

After a while, you found yourself lying on Shoto’s chest, playing with his fingers as you focused on the movie. Shoto, however, stared at your cute expressions, taking mental notes of all the small things you did when a scene disgusted you, made you laugh or made you feel sad.

“Y/N,” he whispered in your ear once the movie ended, “Thanks for loving me.”

You turned to face the fire user, cupping his face in your hands. His fingers found their way in your hair, enjoying the feeling of your soft locks against his calloused skin. Your thumb began to move in circular motions, eager to feel his soft skin against yours. You stared into his dual-coloured eyes, enjoying the brown and icy blue flecks within each eye. He relaxed against your touch, warmth radiating from him to you.

“I love you so much, Sho - and I will no matter what happens later on.”

You shared a kiss under the glow of the pale moonlight, but all you cared about was how perfect the man you were kissing was.

⁜

⁜

⁜

TRAINING

“Hey Sho,” you say, nudging the male beside you, “You wanna train after this?”

“I can’t,” he said, looking down, “I asked Midoriya to help me with some things. The only time he’s free is after this, so…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll ask Uraraka!” you say, kissing him on the cheek, “Good luck with whatever you’re doing with Mido.”

Soon, both you and Uraraka headed to Ground Beta to train your hand-to-hand combat.

“Luckily all of us are vaccinated, or the training grounds wouldn’t be open,” you say, thinking.

“Okay, okay - you wanted to work on hand-to-hand combat, right?” You nodded.

Both you and Uraraka got into your positions, mentally preparing yourselves. You were ready to move towards her until you heard sounds coming from the entrance.

“Well, well, well - isn’t that two students from Class 3-A?” Monoma snickered.

You groaned before turning to face him.

“Hello, Monoma? Where’s Kendo?” you ask, hoping that the ginger would come and stop him.

“Kendo’s eating right now - don’t want to disturb her. I don’t mind messing with the two of you, though.”

“What’s the difference, Monoma?” Uraraka added, “We usually keep quiet, but Y/N and I would like to train, so it would be greatly appreciated if you either kept quiet or left.”

“Why would you want to train with them, though?” He said, looking at Uraraka, “They’re the weakest bitch in your whole class, aren’t they?”

“The fuck, Monoma?!” you shouted, “That’s going a bit too far, don’t you think?”

“What? I’m just stating facts; you entered the class later than everyone else, you’re quirkless since you depend on your weapons, you need to train with others so that you can win 10% of the time - don’t the facts say it all?”

“Monoma, you might want to - ”

“Stop? Why should I?” he laughed, “It’s about time someone told you the truth; you’re useless, unneeded, a waste of space, and never going to be a hero - not even a sidekick.”

“So, the student who single-handedly served you your own ass in a fight doesn’t deserve to stay, but your weak fucking self can stay?” Shoto chuckled darkly, his hand slowly freezing Monoma’s shoulder, “That’s a lot of self-confidence for someone who hasn’t fought well for 3 years straight.”

“Next time you talk shit about Y/N, don’t expect to leave without losing any limbs,” he shouted, scaring Monoma.

“Shoto,” you begin, “Let me fight my own battles.”

He stares at you and sighs. His vice grip on Monoma loosens as you walk towards him.

You run your sword against his hands, small cuts forming.

“Talk shit about me again and you won’t be standing. Get the fuck out, dumbass.”

Monoma runs out of Ground Beta, making you chuckle.

“Damn, Y/N,” Uraraka says from afar.

“That’s my lover,” Shoto says, smiling.

⁜

⁜

⁜

NIGHTMARES

You woke up to the sounds of Shoto whimpering in his sleep.

His clothes were soaked by his sweat, trails of tears strung down his face.

He was shaking - shivering.

Small screams of Natsuo, Fuyumi and Rei’s names escaped his lips along with soft sobs.

“Shoto!” You shouted, shaking him, “Wake up, it’s only a dream - they’re okay, they’re alive.”

You heard your name.

You heard his voice become louder, screaming your name in pain.

“I’m here, I’m fine,” you whisper in his ear.

“I’m right here, Shoto - I haven’t left you. I am here, hugging you. Wake up, okay?’

You heard his whimpers stop as he wrapped his arms around you. He nuzzled his face into your chest as you patted his head.

“Y/N…” you heard him mumble, “Y/N… you’re fine, right?”

“I’m fine, Sho. I’m here hugging you, aren’t I?”

He nodded, pressing his head against your chest.

“You want to talk about it?”

“No…” he trailed off.

“Okay, don’t worry,” you say, kissing him on his head.

“You want me to get you something? Milk, water…?” you ask him, slowly prying yourself off of him.

“Don’t go anywhere.”

“Ok then, koala - I’m not going anywhere,” you say, chuckling.

You hummed a song as you rubbed Shoto’s back, giving him warmth. You wiped the trail of tears and pressed kisses on his cheek.

If he needs you to be his haven, you’ll be an oasis from all the bad.

⁜

⁜

⁜

CLASS FUN

“Ok, so - everyone is here, right?” Mina said as she stood in the middle of the living room.

You looked at everyone in the living room. Everyone was excited - after all, it’s been a long time since you all did something together as a class.

“I think everyone’s here, Mina,” Shouji said, passing you your drink.

Shoto placed his head on your shoulder, groaning.

“What’s wrong with you?” you ask, worried.

“I wanted to just sleep in today…” he said, sulking.

“Come on, it’s been a long time since we did something as a class - who knows? This might be our last little thing as a class,” you retort.

He hummed in agreement, “Fine.”

“Great! Let’s bring back an old classic, shall we? The game that made all the couples in this classroom, the game that made the impossible possible,” she looked at Bakugou and Izuku, “Spin the Bottle Truth or Dare!”

“This fucking game?” Bakugo cussed.

“Relax, Kacchan~,” Kaminari said, teasing the other blonde.

“Shut up, dunce face,” Bakugo said with anger.

“Keep quiet, you two. Mina’s getting angry,” Kirishima said, eyeing the pink-haired female.

“So what if-”

“Kacchan, shush,” Izuku said, glaring at his partner.

“Thank you, my green-haired savior,” Mina said, smiling at Izuku.

“Let me re-explain how the game works; Person A will spin the bottle in the middle of the circle until it stops on Person B. Person A will play truth or dare with Person B. Clear?” Mina said, smiling.

The game soon spiraled out of control, just like everyone expected.

Kaminari danced in a maid dress, Shinsou was forced to call Aizawa and Present Mic ‘dads’ in a call on speaker, Kirishima was forced to scream “I’m hard!” out loud, and Mina sang Baby Shark to her lover - something we never thought Kirishima would enjoy.

In the last round, the bottle landed on Shoto.

The person who spun the bottle was Sero.

You knew he had something planned - you could see it in his eyes.

“Shoto Todoroki, truth or dare?” He said, smirking.

You looked at him, begging him to not choose dare.

“Truth, I guess?” he said, looking at you.

Phew.

“What do you and Y/N do when you’re alone?”

Shit.

“Take dare, take the dare, take the dare…” you mumbled under your breath, hoping he’d listen.

“Can I take the dare?” Shoto said, questioning your actions.

Phew.

“Make out with Y/N right here.”

Shit.

“Give them some privacy, Sero!” Uraraka shouted on your behalf.

“He already evaded the truth question, I’m not modifying the dare,” Sero said, huffing.

“Y/N,” Shoto said, looking at you, “Is it okay?”

You sigh in frustration, “I put us in this situation, Sho. Let’s just get it over with.”

Shoto smiled, looking at your pissed expression.

“Look at me,” he whispered in your ear, raising small goosebumps on your skin.

His hands slowly went to your cheeks, eyeing the flecks in your eyes - how they sparkled just for him and him alone. His thumb reached your lips and parted it - enjoying how you were putty in his hands. His hand slowly went from your cheek to your chin, raising it to make your forehead meet his.

“Geez, Y/N,” he said, lust filling his eyes, “You’re so perfect.”

He softly pressed his lips against yours. He sucked on your lips, enjoying the strawberry lip balm you put just before you entered the living room. Your hands gripped on his dual-colored hair, fingers entangled.

The soft kiss soon turned desperate, needy.

In, out, in, out - the synchronization of your lips.

The need for breath soon came and your lips parted from his.

“Well, that was something,” you said, laughing.

⁜

⁜

⁜

[alexskarsgardnet]

New Interview & Photo Shoot!  Alex photographed by Johan Sandberg and interviewed by Timothy Small for L’Uomo Vogue (October 2020)!

Alexander Skarsgård: the photo shoot and interview for L'Uomo

BY TIMOTHY SMALL, JOHAN SANDBERG 25 SEPTEMBER 2020

Alexander Skarsgård is a really, really nice man. A Swede through and through, Alexander, or Alex, is a very down-to-earth gentleman who could definitely act as more of a big shot, considering he is also one of the most interesting actors in Hollywood right now, a town that, in true Swedish style, he once defined as “kind of silly”. After getting his first big break as the lead in David Simon's excellent Iraq War mini-series for HBO, Generation Kill, Skarsgård exploded in our collective imaginations as Eric Northman in True Blood, while also acting for Lars von Trier in the wonderful Melancholia. 

Since then, he has been a very buff Tarzan in The Legend of Tarzan, a mute bartender in future Berlin in Mute, a very dark killer in Hold the Dark, and a hilarious Canadian Prime Minister in Long Shot, as well as giving an Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning turn in HBO's Big Little Lies. The self-defined “restless” 43-year-old is set to star in The Northman, Robert Eggers's highly anticipated third film, a “Viking revenge story” that Skarsgård himself was crucial in bringing to production – and, by all accounts, it seems like it could have all the right pieces to become a future cult classic. It certainly has that kind of hype.

L'Uomo Vogue:  The Northman is such an interesting project. I know it's important to you. It's also part of a growing resurgence of interest in the Viking era and Norse mythology and that sort of epic Scandinavian adventure. How did it all begin?

Alex:  It all started seven or eight years ago. As a Swede living in America, I realised there was a certain level of fascination with the Viking era and Viking culture – and this was before any of the Viking shows that have since happened. It made me realise that there basically had never been a real great epic Viking movie made, and I thought that that's what I wanted to do.

LV:  So how did the project kick off?

Alex:  I started having conversations with a studio back then, trying to crack the best story. All I knew at the time is that I wanted to make a big Viking movie. We had a couple of potential different starting points: we had a story about two brothers, and then one about the Viking travels down to Constantinople with the Viking siege of the city. We were looking for the right story, but I never really felt we were there. I knew the scope I wanted it to exist in. But what was the story?

LV:  And that's when you met Robert Eggers.

Alex:  Yes, like three or four years ago. We met about something else. I can't remember how, but we started talking about Vikings. And he was, like me, a huge fan of Viking culture and of that historical era, and I immediately felt he would be the perfect guy to direct this movie. And then we found an author and poet in Iceland, Sjón, who came onboard to write the screenplay – and they did a fantastic job, just cracking the story and the essence of it.

LV:  Sounds great.

Alex:  It's a real adventure movie, but it's much more. It taps into the culture, and the mysticism of the Vikings, it becomes more intimate and more personal. I didn't want it to be a generic “swords-and-sandals” movie. Robert is one of the best filmmakers out there. And the whole process is so much more gratifying than when you're quote-unquote “just an actor”. It's been truly extraordinary.

LV:  But then you had to halt production.

Alex:  Yeah. I was in Belfast, Northern Ireland, three months into prep on The Northman about seven days away from principal photography. Just gearing up, you know, getting ready to start a very long, very intense shoot -- a shoot that we were scheduled to wrap in July – and that's when the virus hit.

LV:  What did you do then?

Alex:  I normally live in New York, while my family lives in Stockholm. When the first wave came, I was on the fence: nobody really knew how long it would be, or what precisely was going on. So we shut down production for six weeks. The idea was to then see what would happen. I basically moved to Stockholm for four months.

LV:  How do you feel about this forced break from work?

Alex:  I had not been home for this long in... more than 20 years. It was strange. We were in a bubble; we were all healthy and safe. In a lot of ways, I had moments when I felt being surrounded by my loving family, feeling safe and loved, and taking a break from work, but then also feeling very guilty because I was, for the lack of a better term, being spared.

LV:  In the past, you've described yourself as being a nomad. Did you miss Sweden and the North?

Alex:  I realised how much I have been missing it. I go to Sweden regularly, but usually only for three or four days, maybe a week, tops. My father and two of my brothers are actors, so we're used to never being in the same city. We all travel all over the world. Maybe we'd get back together for Christmas. And I can really say that I had missed spring in Sweden.

LV:  Do you think we will change the way movies are produced?

Alex:  We're going to have to figure out how to shoot movies with dozens of crew members and hundreds of extras while still respecting social distancing rules. It's an unprecedented situation and everyone is scrambling to figure out the best approach. My brother was one of the first people who worked in our industry during the pandemic. He shot a movie in Iceland in the middle of the lockdown. The way they solved it is they split the crew into colour sections. So, hair and make-up had yellow armbands and the camera department had blue, and they had a “Corona appointee” on set who would call out, “Now blue go in!” and then “Blue, out! And yellow, in!” And then they would all do their job in turns. It was very military-like. Productions are already complicated, so we'll just have to add another layer.

LV:  How did you become an ambassador to the Clarks brand?

Alex:  To me, authenticity is very important. I don't want to endorse products I don't genuinely like. That's why I was excited when Clarks reached out. I've been wearing Desert Boots for 25 years. Also, I like to travel a lot. I like to explore new cities by foot. I want to be able to walk around comfortably in a classic, iconic shoe. I travel from movie set to movie set, and I often live out of a suitcase. And this teaches you to be frugal. Whatever fits in that suitcase, that's all I can bring.

LV:  Is that the Swede in you?

Alex:  Maybe. But we consume way too many things in this society. Also, you give things more meaning when you live with them, and when you go on adventures with them. Like, these are my boots. I've been places with them. And when they fall apart, I'll buy a new pair. If you have the right stuff to begin with, you don't need more.

LV:  Going back to The Northman, that really sounds like a dream project.

Alex:  It is. It will be a rollercoaster ride. I can't wait to get back to Northern Ireland and get back to the production. It's also a very physically demanding project, so I have been training for, well, since a few months before production stopped.

LV: In a way, getting into a role, getting on a movie set, acting through it, the whole process of making a movie is a bit like a little adventure. You have to prep, you have to travel, often with people you don't know, and you have to push boundaries.

Alex:  Absolutely! A huge part of the appeal of this profession is you get to travel, and you meet amazing, interesting people from all over. And the uncertainty, you know? What was it, 12 years ago, I was in New York, and I'd never heard of Generation Kill. And then two days later I was on a plane to the Kalahari Desert to be out there for seven months to shoot the series. And I'll never forget the feeling, sitting on that plane, thinking, “Two days ago I didn't even know about this project, and here I am on my way to Southern Africa to spend seven months in the desert with 200 strangers.” It's very exciting.

LV:  What a feeling that must be!

Alex:  And every single job is like that. Every movie is different. Your part, the tone, the energy, the people – it's always different. And for someone like myself, who has that kind of wanderlust, who's always looking on the horizon, it's very attractive to never know just what the next adventure might be.

October 14, 2020:  Updated with the full interview courtesy of our friends at the ASkarsLibrary (x).

Fashion credits:

Photographs by Johan Sandberg Styling by Martin Persson Grooming Karin Westerlund @ Lundlund Hair Amanda Lund @ Lundlund Stylist’s assistant Isabelle Larsson Digital Daniel Lindgren Production Madeleine Mårtensson and Olle Öman @ Lundlund

Read the full interview by Timothy Small and see the photo shoot by Johan Sandberg in the October issue of L'Uomo, on newsstands from September 22nd.

Sources/Thanks:  Interview:  Timothy Small for L’Uomo Vogue (x), Photos:  Johan Sandberg for L’Uomo Vogue (x), artlistparis.com (x) via artlistparisnewyork instagram (x),  luomovogue instagram (x) &  atomomanagement.com (x) via atomomanagement instagram (x), our caps from artlistparisnewyork’s September 23, 2020 insta story (x, x)

[violettelueur]

— ITADORI YUJI + FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + GOJO SATORU + NANAMI KENTO || HAVING AN ARTISTIC S/O

↳ featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + nanami kento from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : grammar issues

↳ form : headcanons

↳ published : 27 january

↳ pronouns : non specified in headcanon

↳ request : Goodday Violettelueur.😊 May I order classic black coffee? Okay ummm can I request headcanons Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Itadori Yuji and Megumi Fushigiro (spell I his name right?) x S/O that's talent creative like painting, drawing, sewing, kriting, tinkering.

↳ barista’s notes : good day to you too~ i decided to take the painter/sketcher approach to your request, so i hope you don’t mind ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ but guys, when i was looking for an imagine for this banner, i cried reading the manga again because if you know, you know...ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ BUT other than that, i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and come again soon ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ

When Itadori finds out that you are creatively talented, this boy will always ask you if you are planning to draw/paint soon because he wants to watch you do whatever you choose to do.

It is known that Itadori is your number one fan and supporter and will cheer for you in the background quietly because he knows that you need to concentrate when you’re doing your thing.

When you are either painting or drawing, Itadori will always sit next to you with his head on your shoulder because he wants to see the process but mostly the final result.

If you are painting, Itadori will ask if he can help mix paints to make different colours for you since he doesn’t want to ruin the piece you are making.

Imagine him shyly using an extra paintbrush and just cutely mixing colours next to you - guys...I can’t, I’m going to start crying.

Even though he is nervous, when you want him to paint on your canvas, he would always ask you what colour to use and where to paint even when you tell him he can do anything he wants and you’ll go on from there.

During this time, he will apologise profusely when he thinks he has ruined the painting - so please tell him that he is doing a good job as he goes along, it gives him confidence.

Since he is your number one fan, he will take a picture of your sketches/paintings and shows them off to everyone like the proud boyfriend he is.

“Look! Look! Y/N drew this yesterday, isn’t it so cool?!”

Fushiguro and Kugisaki will be amazed but will get annoyed at Itadori constantly shouting at them to look at your art - “We already know Y/N is an amazing artist, you don’t need to keep telling us…”

If you gift him a painting or a sketch of him, this boy will cherish it with all his heart and will compliment on how well you got his features - you can’t tell me otherwise at all.

In conclusion, Itadori will be the proudest boyfriend ever and will show you off - not in a possessive way - it’s more out of happiness and cheeriness.

When Fushiguro discovers your artistic talents, he will invite you over to his dorm to hang out together as an excuse to see you draw or continue on what art piece you were doing before.

He knows that you don’t ever come to his room without your art supplies because usually, you both are in his room just silently with each other.

He will stay silent and leave you to continue your work - when you are in your dorm room - but expect him to keep coming back once every 5 minutes to admire your work over your shoulder until you tell him that he could say if he wanted.

His favourite sights to see is when you are on his bed laying on your stomach sketching away on your book or you sitting on a stool with your canvas and easel in the sunlight with the touch of his divine dog calmly laying on the floor beside you.

Sometimes, when you are in his room, you would ask him if he wanted to draw with you, to which, of course, he would deny the offer since he doesn’t want to ruin your sketchbook.

Once you convince him it’s fine, it is known on a daily occurrence that you would draw/paint on one page of your sketchbook and he would do the same on the other - if he can, he would hold your other hand.

When you are feeling bored, Fushiguro will allow you to draw on his arm since he knows it’s a coping mechanism for you - I don’t think he would wash it off anytime soon…

Unlike itadori, it is unknown to you that he takes pictures of you drawing/painting as well as your work - he probably has a whole folder dedicated to you and a picture of you painting is probably his wallpaper.

If you draw him, expect him to blush and ask why and if you tell him ‘it’s because you are pretty’ that blush will just go redder.

I don’t think he will show your talent off, not because he’s not proud but maybe because he wants this knowledge to only himself - like yours and his little secret I guess.

Overall, Fushiguro is someone that will admire your work but also want to somehow relate to you by joining in with your sketching sessions - he has some pride inside of him to have such an artistic partner but wants to keep that to himself.

When Gojo finds out that you can draw and paint, he will always try to find your sketchbook and canvas to see if you have done anything new without his knowledge - because curiously kills that cat right?

If you have drawn something without his knowledge, he will pout and complain to you on why you didn’t tell him about it

“Honey~ why didn’t you tell me you were going to draw this week? I wanted to watch you~”

If you draw/paint him in any way, he will get cocky and confident because, of course, he is an amazing subject to be used. 

Of course, Gojo has to be that one person that takes a picture of something and will ask you if you could draw/paint what is depicted on the phone screen.

He will also allow you to draw on him and expect him to take a few photos while you are doing so because he thinks you look adorable doing so.

He will also ask you if you want him to model for you - because he is confident in his looks - and if you say ‘yes’ make sure to say what you want to draw from him because he thinks you want to draw all of him.

When you are painting, do not expect a peaceful session, because this guy will play with your paints and paint-brushes.

What I mean by this is him dabbing a paintbrush into the paint before brushing it on your face or anywhere that you are showing skin.

His excuse will be because you are a masterpiece and he will continue to swipe white paint on your face and maybe your hair to ‘match with him’.

Gojo will also mix paint to match the colour of his eyes and will use it to paint on you also - he just loves to tease you.

If you paint of him, he will cuddle you to get you both messy with paint since it’s another excuse of his to have a shower together~

In conclusion, Gojo will always mess with you when you are drawing and painting, he wants to be the subject of most of your works but he is grateful that he has a talented significant other like you.

Namami will give you more privacy than his senior - Mr Gojo Satoru - because he has an idea on how much time and concentration it takes to make one masterpiece.

When you are in the middle of something, Nanami will make you some of your favourite beverage and place it next to you with a bowl of fruit or his favourite sandwich.

His favourite site of you when you draw is when you both go on a coffee date together and you sit next to him with your sketchbook in hand - he would have a soft look on his face as he admires you and the book.

When you are painting, it would be you that will brush some paint on him since why not help him have a little fun?

He will groan at you for being a bit annoying but once he hears you laugh, he will forget about the little incident since this moment is something he wants to appreciate with you.

If you do any artwork that is related to him, he would seem nonchalant about it but you know on the inside he is really proud of you.

He would admire the work for a long time even when you have gone to do something else and if you are sly about it, you could see him sitting on your stool with a small smile being displayed on his face.

When the painting has dried or when a drawing has been completed, he would gently trace the drawing and will ask for a copy of it - even though he already has a picture of it on his phone, he just wants more.

“It’s really incredible Y/N, thank you for doing this”

When you have finished your work for the day or if you are tired, he will help you clean up and place your work somewhere for it to be safe or to dry since he is really proud of your work and doesn’t want anything to happen to it.

He doesn’t really have pet names for you - usually, it’s darling, love or something endearing - but he will add a new one for you and he will call you his “little artist”.

Overall, Nanami is very discreet when it comes to you and your art but is really amazed by all your work since he is a person that takes everything to detail - sometimes he is shocked at how well you get every little detail into your work.

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hi, it’s me, Fanfic Anon #2 (honestly, I don’t need a nickname because 1) I’d get confused and 2) I’ve become attached to the title ha ha. I just wish I was clever enough to have started with a nickname 😉).

It’s why I said never say never on my last Emmanuel and the kids story. I’m sure as I go I’ll write more pieces that are with the kids either together or individually. As always, I’m open to prompts if there is something specific anyone wants to see.

Anyways, this piece is a little different from me so I hope you all enjoy it. It’s inspired by how I just can’t get over them holding hands all the time. (I just swoon…)

She loves his hands. She loves a lot of things about him - the colour of his eyes, the warmth of his smile, the way his voice changes when he gets excited about something, the way he loves their family, his kindness, his intelligence, his hair when it’s at its messiest first thing in the morning, the way his three day stubble feels against her skin when he kisses her on the weekends (not the full beard though, that hurt too much and had to go) - but the thing she loves most are his hands. How soft they are when they squeeze her knee, how warm they are when they rest against her back, how perfectly they encase hers when they hold hands.

She loves when he holds her hand when they’re walking, whether it be side by side in their gardens, stopping every so often to literally stop and smell the roses, or side by side down a red carpet. She loves how he always seems to know just when she needs a little extra support, grabbing her hand when she’s the most nervous at an event, or before a speech, or during a photo. She loves how they steady her down a flight of stairs or in moments of shared grief and sorrow. She loves the feeling they leave, long after they’ve moved on, the warmth, the tingling sensation that lingers like a brand, marking her as his, on her lower back, her side, her shoulders, her stomach.

They were sitting side by side in his office, needing to just be together even if they both had to work. He was flipping though a file laying in his lap as he sat in the comfy arm chair, she was in the chair next to him reviewing a file of her own in advance of the next fondation hôpitaux meeting when she felt his hand brush against hers, one of his subtle signs he wanted to hold her hand. Smiling, she flipped her hand upwards for him to grab, her stomach getting full of butterflies when she felt his fingers absentmindedly, automatically entertains with hers.

Shaking her head a little in disbelief she asked aloud a question that had often run through her head, "how is it after so many years you still make me feel like a teenager holding hands with her crush for the first time?"

He looked up from his file at that, and turned to her, a matching smile on his face. "I don’t know," he answered sincerely, squeezing her hand gently, his wordless signal for her to go on.

"I can’t describe it. It’s just," she paused, looking for the words. "Sometimes, when you grab my hand, I feel instantly calm, as if whatever pit was forming in my stomach has disappeared, or what was weighing on my shoulders has evaporated. Other times, it warms me all over, makes me feel safe, loved, cherished. And then, like right now, you intertwine your fingers with mine and suddenly these butterflies gather and all I want to do is giggle like a school girl."

"You know what I feel when you hold my hand?"

"What?"

"Whole. It’s like there’s a part of me that’s missing, like a phantom limb, when you’re beside me and we’re not connected in someway. And then I feel your hand in mine, or at my elbow, or on my back and I breath a little easier because I think ‘there she is. There’s that piece of me that was missing, back in place.’"

"That’s beautiful," she whispered, once again more than a little overwhelmed by the depth of his love.

"You’re beautiful," he replied, sincerely, "so very beautiful inside and out. I am so grateful, and so thankful, for each and every day where you are by my side, loving me, holding my hand."

"I’ll never let go,” she vowed, pulling the hand she was holding up to her lips, pressing a quick, but meaningful kiss to the back of his hand.

Helloooo fanfic Anon #2! ❤️

Even without a nickname, you are special to us ❤️

What a beautiful piece you wrote once again 😍 I feel you, I totally love seeing the hand holding and the little touches 🤧🥰

The way you portrayed Brigitte and Emmanuel’s feeling of the hand touch... what it means to them... so beautiful, so tender and soft and must of all, with so much love! 🥺😍🥰

Thank you so much, fanfic Anon #2! ❤️❤️❤️

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | Chapter two

Chapter Two

summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers

word count: 6k

a/n: this is set May 2021 in my brain just in case anyone was wondering while reading it !! here is the pinterest board and the spotify playlist for the fic too!

from the beginning <3

They were sitting on the steps of the Smithsonian when he arrived. Y/N was a vision in a yellow blouse and blue jeans, basking in the sun's rays when she looked more like sunshine herself, throwing seed at the birds with Amoreena.

He took a deep breath and smiled, waving to get their attention.

“Spencer!” Amoreena cheered, running down the steps and into his arms. Almost knocking her hat off as she leapt into his arms.

“Oof,” is all he can say as he makes sure to catch her, surprised to get this sort of reaction from someone.

She fixes her hat and leans back in his arms, “do you like my outfit? I’m the old man from Tarzan and mom is Jane!”

He sets her down then, watching her stick a foot out so he can get a good look at her olive-coloured jean shorts, button-up shirt and blue bowtie and brown boots. She went all out for her adventure today, making his heart burst.

“I looked into that Milo guy,” he says, showing off his own outfit. Pushing his glasses up and adjusting his red bowtie.

“You look just like him!!!” She was beyond excited, turning to Y/N who was all smiles on the steps.

She stood as they walked towards her, “mom look, he’s Milo!”

“You look great,” she complimented him, that twinkle in her eyes back as she blushed.

“Thank you, so do you,” he said softly. “Both of you are dressed for the right adventure today.”

“What do you have in store Mr. tour guide?” Y/N teased, taking Amoreena’s hand and walking into the museum.

“Dr. Tour guide,” he corrects her softly, making her smile and shove him lightly.

“Sorry,” she teased him, “Doctor tour guide, what is your plan for today?”

“I bought 3 tickets ahead of time,” Spencer admits, taking three lanyards out of his jacket pocket and handing them each one. “We have special access today, just show the guards these and we can go almost anywhere.”

“Are you sure you don’t work here? Not even undercover?” Amoreena interrogated him, narrowing her eyes as she watched his response.

He laughed, “I promise, I helped them on a case once, and my old boss knows the curator, they owed me a favour.”

“Old boss?” Y/N catches it.

He nods lightly, “he quit a while ago to have a family.”

“Smart man.”

“I sent in my letter of resignation last night,” he adds, “if you’re still looking for a literary historian?”

She beamed at him, reaching out an arm to tuck under his and pull him in close. Following him through the doors with Amoreena’s hand still in hers. “I’ll arrange an interview this week.”

The rotunda was one of the coolest parts of the Smithsonian Museum of National History. A beautiful African Bush Elephant greets them in the centre, tusks extending out towards them as Amoreena gasps.

“Wow,” her small voice whispers.

“Cool, huh?” Spencer leans to look at her expression, she’s absolutely gobsmacked.

It makes him smile, that beautiful glimmer of amazement spreading across her face as her small brain tries to understand what exists in the world outside of her mind's grasp. It was priceless, he loved every moment.

“So, I was thinking you could look around and whenever you’re ready, we have access to the Student Centre. You’re going to get to look at some special bones and fossils, and even dig some up!” He was so excited to share the plans with her.

She let go of her mom's hand to flap her arms wildly, excitement coursing through her veins as she shook, grinding her teeth together as she smiled, it was how he remembered feeling as a child when something good happened. Pure joy, excitement level 1000.

“Sound good?”

“Spencer,” Y/N placed her hand on his shoulder, taking over for the speechless child, “that sounds perfect, thank you.”

“The Dino’s are this way,” he leads them down the corridor, through a set of doors towards a large swirling sign,

“Journey through deep time!” Y/N read the sign, smiling at Amoreena as she ran towards it, touching the swirl as she read all the words to herself.

“It’s so sad they died,” Amoreena says so matter of factly that it makes him bite back a smile.

“Yeah,” he agrees with a small laugh. Y/N's shaking her head with a sigh of pure love. “What kind of dinosaur is your favourite?”

“The Jurassic era,” she responds, standing closer to the sign and reading all the words. “Did you know the earth used to be mostly desert? There was a massive heatwave, that’s why they believe dinosaurs were most likely scaled but thanks to the melting ice caps as we recover from the ice age and move back towards being tropical, we’re discovering dinosaurs frozen in ice with feathers and fur!”

It takes his breath away, seeing someone so much like him with a mother who loves every single word that leaves her mouth. Pride on her face as she looks at her little genius and back towards Spencer, waiting for his response.

“So you’ve been a paleontologist this whole time and you never told me?”

She laughs and swats the air, “no, I just read a lot of books.”

“She can read really fast, like Matilda,” Y/N bragged.

“I do too,” Spencer knelled down in front of her. “It’s a very wonderful thing to have a brain as big and magical as ours, never let anyone tell you otherwise okay?”

“Never, I’m the smartest in the kingdom,” Amoreena smiled.

“Yes, she is,” Y/N smiled again, placing her hand on Spencer's back as they continued to walk around the exhibits.

He felt like he had a family, like one of those couples who would go to Ikea and pretend they lived in the sets. This was the most perfect make-believe day of his life, leading a child just like him through a world of things she loved.

Y/N was quiet most of the day, watching them interact with a soft smile and sad eyes. Spencer noticed it but let it slide, he’d ask her about it later when she could be honest with him. He didn’t want to profile her, it wasn’t fair to judge her before he knew her, nor taint the fantastical thoughts he already had about her.

They had lunch in the butterfly exhibit, sitting at the seat by the fountain, Amoreena asking nicely if Spencer could sit in the middle so they could both talk to him. It was adorable, Amoreena was so intrigued by his mind she couldn’t stop asking him questions.

Y/N made him a sandwich and brought him a water bottle, as well as bringing some apple slices and grapes, goldfish and juice boxes for when Amoreena got hungry on the way home. Like a true mom, her purse was full of napkins and hair ties, random books and toys. Rocks, pine cones, everything a young mind would find exciting.

She was like Marry Poppins, pulling everything and then some out of her purse as she searched for something specific. “I brought you something, I’ve had it sitting around the house just moving it to different spots over the years, and thought you’d like it.”

It made him giddy to know she was thinking about him, he couldn’t sit still as he anticipated what it was. She pulled a small metal pin out of her bag then, taking the backing off and clipping it to his pocket.

“Best tour guide ever,” she whispered, reading the words to him with a smile.

“We haven’t even gotten to the best part yet,” he shrugged, pushing down the butterflies in his stomach as they were swarmed by the beautiful creatures.

“It’s like animal crossing in here,” Amoreena said to herself as she looked around, kicking her feet as she sat on the bench, tilting her head back and forth absentmindedly as she took it all in.

He wasn’t sure when he stopped doing that; when he started to mask his true self so much that he no longer felt free in public, taking a moment to copy her movements and just enjoy the moment. Making her smile as she noticed him copy her with adoration, not to tease her in any way whatsoever.

“Can we talk when she’s looking at the fossils?” He asks Y/N softly, knowing that she’ll be the most open when Amoreena’s tiny ears wouldn’t be there to remember everything she says.

“Yeah,” she nods with a small smile. “How about I throw out our garbage and we head to that surprise?”

Amoreena jumped off the bench, tugging Spencer towards the door as Y/N cleaned up, following them eventually.

—

They had the classroom all to themselves and Amoreena was still for the first time all day. Standing in the middle of the room as the lights adjusted, changing the glow from blue to amber as they warmed.

The walls were filled with posters and informative signs, there were glass cases showcasing all the finest fossils and bones known to man. And a sand table in the middle of the room, smocks and brushes for archaeology all set up and waiting for her.

“Once you get all suited up, and we’ll get you a little mask so you don’t breathe in any of the dirt and dust, you can dig up whatever is hidden in there!” Spencer announced.

Y/N helped her into a smock, handing her the brushes and asking her to be extra careful with the plastic chisel and hammer. She was beaming from ear to ear the most toothy smile he’s ever seen.

Y/N stopped to take a photo of her then, holding her instruments in front of the sand table, “get in, we’ll tell everyone that Milo took us on a special tour today.”

Spencer kneeled close to Amoreena, she leaned in and wrapped an arm around him to get him in closer, always being the one to choose how much contact she made with Spencer. He would never want to overstep with someone else’s child.

“Beautiful!” Y/N cheered, locking her phone and slipping it back into her jeans as Amoreena turned to the table of sand, dirt and clay.

She got right to work, not skipping a beat as she leaned in and started to dig. Spencer stepped back with Y/N, knowing Amoreena was going to be in her own little world for as long as they left her alone.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m great, I’m just a little surprised,” her voice is soft, low enough that it stays with him. “You’re really good with her for a fed.”

He laughed, nodding his head as he registered her joke. “Ex fed, and I have a 12-year-old godson, Henry.”

“Ahh, so no kids of your own?” Her voice was small, she took a look at his hand to avoid eye contact and he understood.

“None, no wife, no love children hiding out there in the world that I know of, it’s just me, I promise,” he tried his best to ease her anxiety about introducing a new man into her child’s life.

She nods slightly, “you seem too good to be true sometimes.”

He huffed out a small laugh, pressing his lips together as he looked at her, “pretty sure I’ve been dreaming since I saw you.”

She shoved him as she laughed, “would you like to come back to our place for dinner? I know it’s a little weird, believe me, I know, but we live on my parent's land and my mom’s making enough shepherds pie to feed an army.”

“Yeah I’d love to, I’ll get a cab home after,” he felt a swirling in his stomach, nervous and excited all at once.

“Okay,” she whispered, “or we can get to know each other, and then you could sleep on the couch and I’ll bring you back into DC in the morning? I have to drive in any way.”

He licked his lips and nodded his head, wondering what other kind of invitation this could be. If it was pure hospitality, wanting him to be safe for the night instead of inside some stranger's car, or was she wanting alone time with him.

The thoughts turned around in his head over and over making him dizzy, “okay, yeah I’d love to,” he managed to slip the words out without falling over them.

She smiled, tight-lipped and small. Looking up at him with a new look he hasn’t seen on her yet, one he’s only seen in a few faces in his time, and yet he believed her’s the most.

She was smitten with him as much as he was with her.

He sighed, smiling back at her just as soft. She reached her hand out to hold his, walking towards the table with him in tow. Leaning over Amoreena’s shoulder as she unearthed her new most prized possessions.

—

Amoreena was the funniest kid to drive with, He sat in the passenger seat of Y/N’s car with her in a car seat directly behind him. She was singing, cheering, pointing out the window to show him all her favourite things on the way to her house.

Telling him stories about the make-believe people she created to live in the houses, the trolls under bridges and the names of every cow in the field along the long driveway of her grandparent's farm.

“Bob and Linda are an interesting pair,” she warned him as they pulled in closer and closer. Dirt flying up behind the wheels as she drove fast, knowing every bump and turn from memory.

“They will be asking you every question in the book and if you’re going to be looking at the animals they will insist on putting you in flannel and a cowboy hat, it’s a tradition for visitors,” she explained it in a way where he knew she wanted him to think she hated it, but actually she looked excited to do it to him.

“I can’t wait,” he smiled.

“Amoreena has already told them all about you at dinner last night, so they are expecting her to drag you here tonight,” she pushed the blame onto Amoreena, downplaying her affection for him in a self-conscious way he could feel.

He didn’t want to profile her, but it wouldn’t turn off. He was desperate to know her more, to know if she felt the weird tugging in her heart that made him think soulmates might be real. A pain so intense that if he had to explain it to a doctor, it was like his heart was a negative charge and he was being drawn to her much more positive one.

“We have 16 cats, 46 cows, 13 chickens, 4 ducks, 50 sheep and 1 horse, her name is buttercup,” Amoreena informed him, stealing the attention once again.

“Wow, who’s your favourite?” Spencer turned to her, watching her kick her feet as she looked out the windows.

“Probably Alfonzo our fluffy show cow, or Rufus, our dog,” she said softly. “Sometimes nanny lets him sleep at our house.”

“That’s so cool, I’ve never had a pet.”

“What?!” Amoreena stopped, pressing her lips together as her eyes shot wide open, thinking it was the most absurd thing anyone has ever said.

“My mom was sick when I was growing up so I spent my time taking care of her, I didn’t have time for a dog,” he said softly, saying it in a way that wouldn’t scare her.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N said softly, reaching her hand out to pat his knee as she kept her eyes on the road.

Then she was pulling in past a big house, around the bend behind it, past the garden and the trail to the barn towards another house. It was big and white, probably big enough to have 4 bedrooms. Many levels, with multiple build-ons from years ago ageing to match eventually.

It was covered in vines, ivy and flowers. It was just like miss honeys. He felt something unspeakable, opening his mouth softly to breathe as his eyes trailed up the siding to the shingles.

He couldn’t believe it.

“Home sweet home,” her wonderful voice brought him back to reality. Saying the word that matched the feeling in his chest.

“Wow,” he whispered. His mouth moved to say words, not a single one slipped through the cracks, his lips touching with fake syllables as he stared at it.

“It was my grandma’s, it’s the house she raised my dad in,” Y/N explained as she put the car in park.

“Mommy had me as a gift for GG,” Amoreena added from the back.

“Her great-grandma,” Y/N nodded with a soft smile, biting the inside of her lip as she fought her feelings. That was a touchy subject that he was going to pry into, later on, wanting to know every single thing about the most exceptional women in the world.

There was a cat sitting on their front step, introduced to him as toothpick because he was the smallest in the last litter. And then the name of every single cat on the way back up to the main house.

Simon and Gar-funk-field twin orange brothers, Alaska the all-white one, strawberry shortcake had a red heart on her butt, oven-mitt for comedic effect obviously as if they others weren’t funny enough, as well as shovel and Catrina… all 16 of them had a name and Spencer was not going to forget a single one.

“Welcome! You must be Doctor Reid,” her father was a very large man, it shocked Spencer slightly.

He was like Santa Clause, it was more than a bit of a shock. Thick grey beard, bald head, red flannel and dirty work jeans, probably in his late 60’s. He was what you imagined Santa to look like outside of Christmas, on holiday with his wife.

He looked like a man who lived a long and happy life, he had a wife who cooked good meals for him, he probably didn’t mind sitting back with a beer most nights. There was definitely going to be sports memorabilia inside and a million photos of Y/N and Amoreena, and the purest energy known to man. Family love.

He hated how fast he profiled it all in his mind, trying to drop that aspect of his inner monologue moving forward.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Sir,” he said softly, nodding lightly as he placed his hands in his pockets. Letting it be known he didn’t touch people, and weirdly being respected.

“Please, it’s Bob or Poppy Clause,” he laughed, shifting his attention to Amoreena as she climbed the stairs towards the porch.

“How is my lovey?” Bob asked her softly, “may I have a welcome home hug?”

“Ah,” he smiled and nodded to himself. He was used to it, asking permission for her sensory issues. Spencer was impressed, and a bit emotional at the fact someone his age was respecting a way of life many didn’t care to understand.

Amoreena gave him a hug, throwing herself into his arms, “no beard tickles,” she instructed, holding onto his shoulders as he kept his face away from her.

Y/N placed her hand on Spencers back, “I told you they were a lot, my mom is worse.”

“I feel very comfortable here, don’t worry,” he assured her.

“I should worry,” she laughed, “you’re one of them, oh god.”

“One of who?”

She tilted her head at him, shaking her head, “eccentric, full of life, bursting with weirdness that would probably be a strange purple goo if I could see it.”

He pressed his lips together as he thought about it, nodding softly in agreement. “There is nothing wrong with that, it just means I’m having fun and living my best life from now on.”

“Welcome to the family,” Bob added, a simple saying that invoked a feeling of pride he long yearned for.

—

Dinner was lovely, he’s never had shepherd’s pie before. Learning it was ground beef, beans and potato casserole, and somehow there was also corn in there… he wasn’t sure why it was so delicious but he enjoyed it a lot.

It might have simply been the ambiance that made it so good.

Her mother was the sweetest woman, she made everything from scratch. Including bread that he was obsessed with and a pie for dessert, she was overjoyed to have an expected yet unexpected guest.

Knowing there was a possibility he’d come, but not setting a place for him at the table unless he showed. She wrapped him up in a big hug when he arrived as well as after dinner when he helped her move the plates to the sink.

Her dad offered him a beer after dinner, taking him to the front porch to talk while the ladies cleaned up for the night. Amoreena had a strict bedtime routine to stick to, and it wasn’t his place to witness nor get in the way.

“So,” her dad started the interrogation easily. “I’m sure you wouldn’t be here if Y/N didn’t trust you. And she doesn’t trust many people.”

“I can promise you I’ll never hurt either of them,” he said with the utmost confidence. “It’s been two days and they’ve brought me more joy than I can explain, and I’m never going to take that for granted.”

“Good answer,” he smiled. “Now, farmhouse rules are as follows; you can roam where ever you please, just ask permission before using any equipment, we’re more of a petting zoo than a farm now so the animals are overly friendly, try and keep them inside the gates.”

He was a bit flustered, computing the fact that he just trusted him like that. Maybe he was Santa Clause, making a list and checking it twice, and Spencer happened to cross off every box to land him on the nice one.

“Sounds good,” he smiled. “Thank you.”

“Believe me, sonny, I know what it’s like to want to impress the old man, but it’s all about Amoreena,” Bob warned him. “If she loves you then so will Y/N, and she falls fast.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, “I’m the same way.”

“That’s what Y/N was saying, I think it’ll be good for Amoreena to know someone like her, we try our best to get her out there and making friends, she’s smart enough to move up some grades but she’s a kid, y’know?” Her father basically describing his own childhood back to him.

“I graduated high school at 13,” he presses his lips together, hoping it doesn’t come off as a brag. Taking a sip of his beer to take the edge off how awkward he felt.

“Do you regret it?”

“No,” he smiled at Bob, who was smiling right back, “it led me here.”

Bob hummed in response, taking a sip as well as he sat back in his rocking chair, watching over the cows in the field as the sun began to set. It was picture perfect, unbelievable.

Wet feet on the hardwood floor caught his attention then, Amoreena was in her PJ’s as she ran towards the door. Putting on her rubber boots and swinging open the screen door.

Her hair was wet, falling into her eyes as she pushed it out of the way, “are you joining the parade and dance party?”

He acted like he knew what that meant, “sure?”

“Yes!” She cheered, “hurry up mom!!”

Y/N walked down the steps slowly, shaking her head as she laughed. “You are so impatient, the animals aren’t going anywhere.”

“No, but Spencer will!”

It made his heartache, the thought of leaving.

“Come on,” she slipped back into her shoes and joined them on the porch. “Off we go, see you later dad.”

“Be good, make wise choices,” he teased her.

“Okay old fart, sleep well,” they had a friendship that was admirable.

Spencer followed with glee as Amoreena said goodnight to all the animals, parading down the path towards their house as she made sure to talk to everything on the way there.

“Every night we pick 2 songs to dance to, it gets all the sillies out and rewards us for a day well spent so we can bless our bodies with a good sleep,” Y/N explains as she unlocks the front door.

A cottage full of books in the middle of the woods, that dream he always had, coming true as she ushered him inside. The smell of coffee drifting towards him as he noticed the brown candle on the mantle surrounded by photos of Y/N and her family.

She placed her keys beside it, kicking off her shoes and making sure Amoreena did the same. In the living room, she connected her phone to a set of speakers, letting the little one pick out 2 songs, queueing them up to play as she bounced with anticipation.

“Tonight’s selection is today was a fairytale by miss Swift, and Anne Hathaway’s cover of somebody to love, form the cinematic masterpiece that is Ella Enchanted,” Y/N announced like she was hosting the grammies, pretending her phone was the mic before hitting play.

He knew somebody to love, the Elton John version, it was a song that Penelope and Emily sang at karaoke when they reached 11 shots each, so not very often. But enough to have him remember the words, singing along with them as they danced.

It was a better workout than Derek had ever put him through, they held hands and jumped around, he twirled Amoreena around, pretending to do the tango with Y/N. Waving their arms in the air, it was the most carefree he has been in ages.

The songs fit the situation more perfectly than any of them seem to realize, he’s falling head over heels in love with this family that he met yesterday. Something in him saying that he needs to stay, that this is where he was supposed to be.

Getting Amoreena into bed was more difficult than Y/N imagined, she didn’t want to stop talking to Spencer. Only finally agreeing to sleep when she learned he would still be there for breakfast in the morning.

“Can you read me a book from your brain?” Her sleep-deprived eyes blinked as she asked him softly.

He looked at Y/N from the doorway, she nodded, patting the bed for Spencer to sit on the edge.

“Any book?”

“Any book.”

“Bedtime for baby star,” he says softly. Remembering all the late night’s he’s heard JJ whisper it on the back of the plane, in the corner of a police precinct in the middle of nowhere, in a twin bed beside his as they shared a hotel room.

“Once there was a baby star, she lived up by the sun. And every night at bedtime, that baby star wanted to have some fun,” he recited the words in an exciting tone, just low enough to soothe her into sleep. “She would sine and sine and fall and shoot and twinkle, oh so bright, and she said ‘Mommy! I’ll run away if you make me say goodnight.’”

Y/N looked at her with a fake stern look, leaning in enough to rub their noses together. “And then her mommy kissed her sparkly nose and said, no matter where you go,”

Y/N kissed her on the nose, “no matter where you go,” she repeated.

“No matter where you are, no matter how big you grow and even if you stray far,” to which Y/N repeated. “I’ll love you forever because you’ll always be my baby star.”

“Goodnight my sweet Amoreena,” Y/N kissed her head softly and stood, Spencer, joined her by the door.

“Can I have a hug?” She asked him softly, he looked at Y/N for approval once again.

She placed a hand on his back as she nodded, watching him lean in and hold Amoreena softly, “goodnight, I had a fun day today.”

“See you tomorrow,” she smiled, closing her eyes for the night.

Y/N replaced her lamp light with a night light, closing the door on the way out of her room as she blew a kiss towards her baby, “love you.”

“Love you more,” Amoreena whispered back.

Spencer was nothing but smiles in the hall as she looked at him, “I’m going to pour myself some wine and sit in the garden, are you interested?”

“Ecstatic actually,” he replied, following her towards the kitchen and letting her pour him a glass.

Behind her house, she had an overgrown garden, every area of her life had a reference to a book somewhere, a story someone else told that she’s now claimed as her own. Living in the world she always wanted, inviting Spencer to stay a while.

She let out a deep sigh as she sat down on the outdoor couch beside him, dropping her head on his shoulder softly, it was more contact than he was expecting. She had barely touched him.

“You should know that I like you a lot,” Spencer spoke softly. “I don’t want you to think I’m just some creep trying to get close to you and your kid, I genuinely think you’re wonderful and Amoreena is magnificent.”

“I trust you, I googled you and everything, don’t worry,” she laughs. “I wouldn’t invite you to the museum and let you give my kid a hug without doing research.”

“Not everything is on there you know.”

“I think you are very wonderful as well,” she said softly, “but I know it’s just the fact that you’re so darn cute that’s making me feel like I should drop everything and invite you into our life.”

“I understand,” he replied. Waiting for her to tell him that this was the last time she’d see him, it was inevitable at this point in his life. Nothing good lasted for long.

“So I need you to know all about me and I need to know all about you before you decide you want to stay because I can’t handle bringing you into Amoreena’s life for you to just leave her,” another deflection.

“You might want to hear mine first before you decide if you want me to stay around her,” it sounded scarier than he planned.

“Alright then, you go first,” she insisted with a small smile, eyes darting past him towards the cows in the field. Not ready to be vulnerable with him.

“I worked with the FBI for 15 years, I’ve helped catch some of the worst people in America, and some of them have vendetta’s against me. As far fetched and insane as that sounds,” he pre-warned her, watching her face drop as she understood the weight of his words.

“I have been framed and sent to prison for three months, I was kidnaped, tortured, drugged, and assaulted, not to mention shot a few times. I have more trauma than you can imagine. So that’s something you have to consider in a future with me,” he whispered so she wouldn’t hear how ashamed he was of himself.

“And the fact know that I can’t always keep myself or you safe, no matter how far disconnected I am from the FBI. It doesn’t matter if I change my name and hide here for the rest of my life off the grid. There are some fucked up minds out there that don’t want to let me experience true happiness. But in all honesty,” he finally stops his long-winded rant. He bites his bottom lip as if he is holding back someone worse than all the things he just said.

“I’m willing to die tomorrow if it means my last day on earth was this fucking perfect.” Tears welled in his eyes, “I am so tired.”

“It’s okay to cry, I would be too,” she says softly, a frog in her throat as she nodded. Tears welling in her eyes as her face scrunched.

He blinked and a tear escaped, slipping down his cheek and being swiped off by her thumb in an instant. She kept her hand on his cheek softly, he leaned into it.

“I’ve been running for so long,” he whispers because then the words don’t really exist. They’re secrets only for her to hear and then they’re gone. “I was basically groomed for the FBI, I was their personal computer and they didn’t give a single shit about the wear and tear on me.”

He started to sob. She cradled his head against her chest in one swift motion, holding him close and rubbing his back. Shushing him softly as he cried into her shoulder.

“You know that Katy Perry song?” she changed the subject as he calmed down, understanding his pain and accepting his warnings, but continuing down the path anyway.

“Summer after high school when we first met,” she sang like an angel. “It was like that, I thought I met the love of my life after I graduated, we got engaged a year later, then he died in a car crash and I was single for a very long time.”

“Then my grandma got sick and she made a bucket list. Number one was to become a great grandma,” her words became whispers as she tried to stop the tears, following Spencer’s tactic even though it failed so miserably.

“I said fuck it. I’m going to have a baby and make my own family, one person I can truly care for and never lose. She’s my world, she was the light of my grandma’s life until it burnt out, she has changed my world in ways I can’t even explain.”

It fell silent as they absorbed each other’s explanations of their issues. The root of their problems, the core of their soul were the most hurt was kept locked away, opening the doors and swapping scrapbook snapshots of terrible memories.

“I think,” she says, finally, like music to his ears. “I think that I’m okay, I’m positive actually that I want you in my life like this. All of you is fine with me, you’re not that scary, and I’m tired of waiting for the right moments because it means losing the people over time missed. I want to live my life fully, I’m at peace with the unknown and with you.”

Peace.

“Not to quote Taylor Swift at you or anything, but she does have a point in that song,” she laughed lightly and he felt her chest jump. Life bursting through her as she made light of an incredibly touchy subject.

“I don’t know the song,” he whispers.

She gasps, “oh that’s the line, I finally found it. Our first fight can be whether or not you like Taylor Swift, don’t even think about how upset Amoreena will be if you’re not, I’ll kick you out.”

He can't stop laughing then, digging his face into her neck as he holds her closer to his chest. Breathing her in as she finishes his laugh in a giggle, rubbing her hands down his back as she presses her cheek to his head.

“I haven’t had the time to listen to her this year I know she’s been busy releasing music,” he admits, “but I’m sure I’ll love it.”

She shifts awkwardly on the couch to take her phone out of her pocket, opening her music and playing the song she was speaking of.

He simply rests his head on her chest, both of them laying back onto the cushions together, finding a comforting spot for their arms as they listened to the words, silently.

He absorbed it all, every word she said bringing forth a feeling he’s never felt before. True understanding, like someone, gets him. Gasping audibly when she says ‘robbers to the east clowns to the west, give you my sunshine, give you my best.’

He wasn’t alone.