#don’t know why i’m telling u all this
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(sending this again because i think tumblr deleted it!)
loustat x reader, and reader at the time is the only mortal in their relationship until reader privately asks louis to turn her (can be gn, i mainly read fem!reader stuff) into a vampire so she can commit herself to them eternally, louis says no in order of protecting her, they argue a bit before she agrees and a few days later lestat finds out and he does it for her and louis is not happy. even though he wanted her to stay innocent he still wanted to be her maker
and if u want u can take it from there :)
All I Ask Of You | Lestat x Reader x Louis
ෆ when lestat takes matters into his own hands, leaving louis to sit in his regret of not complying with your wishes.
i will be booked and busy tomorrow, so the bulk of post will be up on saturday, i hope you can accept this for now, my lovelies 🤲🩷
“Please, Louis”
“I told you, my answer is no,” he raised his voice, turning away from you. How could you ask him for such a thing? He and Lestat promised to fulfill your every desire, but not this, not when you had so much to live for.
“Fine,” you had been trying for days now to get him to comply, but he wouldn't budge.
“Don’t be like that, it is for the-
“For the best, I know, I heard you the first time, listen, I can’t stay tonight, could you tell Les for me?” you asked, already headed towards the door before he could speak. You refused to cry in front of him, swinging open the door of the townhouse, just as Lestat was entering the gate.
“Ma ch-
“I’m in a rush, Louis will explain,” you pulled away from his reach, leaving him to stare bewildered at your figure becoming more distant. He wanted to question what happened while he was away, but as he began to open his mouth, something about the gloom in Louis’s eyes kept him from speaking.
“She has errands,” he mumbled, as Lestat nodded.
Silently, he followed behind Louis locking up the house as they prepared for sunrise. He wasn’t sure what he’d missed, but he was determined to find out, soon enough.
“Y/n, are you sure you’re alright darling?” Your mother asked as she leaned against the counter watching as you helped put away the leftovers from dinner.
“Yes, why?”
“You never come home, and now you’re here. Not only that, we’re going on day 3, what’s going on?”
“Nothing, I can’t miss home?” you frowned.
“I didn’t say that, it’s just that it seemed like you were never leaving New Orleans, it’s been months and you’re only an hour away,” she explained. There wasn't a proper way to tell her, or your father, that you had fallen in love with two vampires, one being a few decades older, while the other — a few centuries.
“I’m sorry, I’ll visit more often,” you told her, watching as she smiled, going to pull you into a hug.
“Good, your father and I get so lonely”
“You should move to New Orleans, get out of Covington, and live a little,” you laughed.
“Absolutely not, this is home, I’ll take it from here, you go ahead and get ready for bed,” she waved you off.
“Goodnight,” you said, as she kissed your forehead.
“Goodnight sweet pea,” she called as you walked down the hall, going to your old bedroom.
Entering the room, you inhaled the vanilla aroma, as your mind drifted to your lovers. Only three days and you already felt sick to your stomach. You wondered if they missed you as much as you missed them. You told your roommate to simply tell them you were out of town if they showed up at your apartment, but you weren't sure how much longer you could continue with this.
Going to the connected bathroom, you filled the bathtub with warm water. Staring into the water, your mind drowned with regret. You had been so inconsiderate to Louis, expecting him to take on such a big responsibility.
“Louis,” you moaned breathlessly, as he kissed along your collarbone.
“I want you to turn me,” you said, the oxygen seemingly getting caught in your throat, as he stopped, before pulling away from you.
“Where is this coming from?” he asked, his voice comforting, as he sat up, trying to concentrate on your thoughts.
“I love you both and I want to give myself to you and Lestat, forever, from this point on,” you vowed to him.
“Y/n, you don't know what you're saying, you are amazing, everything is perfect the way it is-
“Until I begin to age, and become decrepit, please Louis, become my maker, as Lestat is yours”
“You don't realize how precious life is until it is no longer in your reach. I can't do this to you, I can't take away your life when you have so much purpose,” he told you, wiping your tears as you began to cry.
Turning off the faucet, you huffed, roughly wiping the tears from your eyes. The fact that you were crying over him telling you no made you feel adolescent compared to the two. Tossing your clothing into the hamper, your muscles tensed before relaxing, as you submerged into the warm water.
Laying back, you closed your eyes, relishing in the therapeutic sensation. Humming in relief, you focused on clearing your mind. You would only stay here a few more days before you headed home. You had built a life in New Orleans and you wouldn't leave it behind, and you certainly had no intentions of closing this chapter of your life with Louis or Lestat, over this situation.
Feeling a cool breeze across the water, you crossed your legs, shifting to feel the warmth, with your eyes still shut. Only a few minutes passed before the chilling fingertips brushed against your skin, causing you to open your eyes, sitting up. Looking around, you didn't see a person as you sighed, laying back again, closing your eyes.
“How we’ve missed you,” Lestat spoke, making you jump, but quickly relaxed as he reassuringly massaged your shoulders.
Standing behind you, he crouched down, kissing along your neck, licking away the water droplets, while you held back your moan.
“Louis isn't here,” he answered your thoughts before you could ask.
“He says you're upset with him, but won't say why,” he said, his large hands rubbing down your abdomen into the warm water.
“No, he should be upset with me,” you sat up, abruptly, facing him.
“Do tell why?” he smirked.
“I asked him to turn me…into a vampire,” you said, your face burning in shame.
“And he said no-
“He is only trying to protect me, I didn't understand but I do now,” you said, unable to meet his eyes.
“But that isn't what you want, chèrie, is it?” he asked, as the waterworks began to pour. Shaking your head, as you finally met his eyes.
“I want an eternity with the two of you, the thought of me getting old and you both becoming a distant memory, if I even remember, it scares me, could I even live a normal life ever again, after sharing my heart with the two of you,” you said, as he stood up straight, reaching for the soft towel. Using his free hand, he helped you stand, wrapping the towel around your frame, before leading you out of the bathroom.
“You wanted Louis to change you, to allow him to experience what I have given him, but this is just as sentimental. Giving the gift to two extraordinary souls who I love greatly, would you like that, chèrie?” He asked, wrapping his arm around your waist.
“Yes, please,” you admitted embarrassingly.
“Do you vow to only love Louis and I, for an eternity? Forever is a very long time, go ahead, answer in the presence of God,” he motioned to the crucifix hanging on your wall.
“I do,” you nodded earnestly.
“Then you will be my fledgling, with my blood running through your veins,” he said, swiftly pulling you into his arms, before his fangs were out, plunging into your soft skin. You could feel your body weakening as he drained your blood, before he finally pulled away. Biting into his wrist, he soon placed it against your mouth.
“Drink,” he instructed, his eyes full of endearment as you moaned at the taste of his blood. You had licked your own wound as a child and the taste of iron was nothing worth comparing to his blood, you almost couldn’t stop, until he pulled his arm away.
“Thank you Les,” you said tiredly, as he grinned, kissing your neck, before sitting your limp body on the bed. Walking away, he became to boredly pack your things. He knew his intuition was correct, you had been wanting this for a while now and he had a feeling it started nearly three months back, when you asked if you could join them, as they hunted.
Watching you closely, as you sat up, hurling onto the floor, you clutched your stomach in agony. Groaning, you began to vomit on the floor, chills all over your body. Lestat neatly placed everything in your suitcase, going to zip it. Noticing your quietness, his smirk widened, as you now stood unfazed, the towel covering the vomit, as you stood nude with poise. Your new eyes and nails catching his attention, you certainly were a beautiful vampire.
“You look like perfection,” he approached you.
“I feel like…perfection”
“Let us find your first hunt, as you know with Louis’s situation, staying here won’t be possible, with your new life,” he said, as you nodded, going to grab clothing from the luggage, while looking for a pen and paper — leaving your mom a random excuse for why you had to leave.
“Do you think Louis will be mad at us?”
“Very”
“You have to suck not bite,” Lestat said, holding down your victim, as you straddled the guys lap, your fangs deep in his neck. You had made it back to New Orleans and the first thing Lestat took you to do was find your first meal. You were a natural, as you intentionally looked through the selection of people. When finally, you chose some creep, he was a bad man and you felt you were doing a bit of justice, ridding the world of such garbage.
Suddenly the front door opened, there was a few footsteps before he spoke, “What the fuck is going on?” Louis asked confusedly. Pulling away from the man, he tried screaming, begging for help, when Lestat snapped his neck.
“Did you enjoy dinner?” He asked you, as you bashfully nodded.
“Y/n,” Louis called out. Slowly facing him, you smiled, blood dripping down your mouth.
“Hi Louis”
“You turned her, now why the hell would you do that?” He yelled at Lestat.
“She wanted this, would you have preferred she stumbled across another vampire-
“I would have preferred you left her as she was,” Louis argued.
“I wanted this Louis, he was only helping-
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Y/n, you weren’t ready, and you took advantage of her ignorance,” he screamed as Lestat sighed, rolling his eyes.
“Louis, I wanted this for more than anything, to be alongside you both, an eternity together-
“Don’t you think I know what you want, I’ve heard your thoughts, it doesn’t change the fact that it was not smart. You just threw away everything, your family, your friends, life, you’re dead now, and there is no going back,” he said, as you hesitantly climbed from the limp body. His tone brought an uneasiness to your heart, your eyes stinging.
“All I wanted, all I thought I wanted, was to be with you and Lestat. I can’t see myself with anyone else, but I’m sorry, please don’t be angry with Lestat,” you said, the dark blood leaking from your eyes. Lestat reached for you, but you moved, walking out to the backyard.
“Are you seriously that angry, Louis, how long did you expect her to wait?” Lestat asked.
“Why did you do it? She didn’t have to be turned into this,” Louis shook his head, glancing in the direction of the backyard. Regretting how harsh he sounded, as he spoke to you.
“Louis, you can still protect her as a vampire, I know you only wanted to look out for her, but she wanted the gift, she chose to love us over her parents and friends, she was worthy,” Lestat said.
“I was too harsh to her,” Louis mumbled.
“Then you should be apologizing to her, and thanking me for making yet another beautiful fledgling,” Lestat smirked.
“She is beautiful, you did good,” Louis nodded.
“Again?”
“Again,” he laughed, sighing as Lestat approached him, pulling him into a hug, placing a soft kiss to his lips.
“Go now”
Louis hesitantly walked outside, stopping in his tracks, seeing you sit in the grass. Looking up at the bright moon. Clenching his jaw, he forced his legs to move, before he sat next to you, watching your side profile.
“The moon looks nice tonight,” he spoke up.
“It does, doesn’t it. She glows so beautifully, the sun has no choice but to hide from her presence,” you said, your face unmoving from the sky.
“I apologize for how I spoke to you, I want you forever, both of us do. I’m more angry with Lestat than you”
“Don’t be upset with Les, please, he knew I wanted this, and I think it was only a matter of time, before I was begging him next,” you explained.
“I think I’m more angry about the fact that he changed you, and not me,” he said, grinning as you finally looked at him.
“I thought I was protecting you, keeping you from our world, when you fit so perfectly in it — I wish I would have gone through with it,” he admitted.
“It is okay, really, as long as I’m with you both, I am happy,” you said, reaching for his hands.
“Is there anything I can do, to make up for this…”
“Love me, your love is all I ask of you,” you said, accepting his kiss.
“I feel quite excluded, where are my kisses?” Lestat spoke, as he stepped outside.
“If you come any closer, you may end up with more than a kiss, both of you, I feel like the happiest girl alive,” you said, as he moved to the grass, kissing along your neck.
“Then we are starting our eternity together on the right track”
#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv#lestat de lioncourt x reader#lestat x reader#lestat de lioncourt#louis x reader#louis de pointe du lac x reader
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It’s the fact that their best writers and producers are always given to these ‘bromances’ and projects. And it’s only when they’re doing these bromances it’s when all of a sudden they can write something intimate and beautiful and good and with effort and not just a marketing scheme all of a sudden budget is up, all of a sudden the writers care more about the project directors ensure the quality of the project. People think people are being dramatic but they don’t know the patterns this company does and tbh it’s exhausting trying to explain why people are angry and tired and the implications of all this stuff. No one is saying you can’t have friendships with male characters but there’s a subset of writers that know what they’re doing and then later our right deny it and act like it’s the audience reading into it because it would kill then to tell a good story and make it romantic apperently the romance would ruin everything the show is trying to do, apperently it’s shallow to ask for them to give us this much quality in writing and storytelling this much effort this much directing ability in their BLS when it’s not their star director head directing it. I dunno I’m so over these shows I’m so over seeing them get hyped over the romance seeing them shipped seeing them make excuses for why they can’t be queer. I did this with shipper when they killed the queer character after finally making them romantic I did this in gifted when it was apperently in our heads that wave pang could ever have feelings of romance for each other. Why when asked but why couldn’t they? Everyone says it ruins the story. I’m so over this discussion and then I see shit like we are and I see shit like Keita hatsukoi with geminifourth and I just cannot stand this company and it’s okay someone might come and try and tell me why I’m wrong but I’m so tired of this feeling I’m so tired of this whole thing. Happy for people who enjoy the shows but I’ll never ever let Gmmtv get away with this bullshit u fortunately I’m no longer the bl audience. I’m no longer in this at all.
Hey bestie, dropping by with a mea culpa. When Peaceful Property started, you expressed concern that GMMTV was inching toward a model of using bl pairs in shows that would avoid being explicitly gay but still draw on shipping fandom to be successful. Coming off The Trainee, which was not a bl but did have expIicitly queer characters and romance subplots, I wasn't sure the intentions were quite that dark for PP, but having now finished it and seen the way some in the production have interacted with shipper fans, I have to call it: you were right to be concerned. At no point was this show ever a bl and none of its principal characters are canonically queer, but they successfully leveraged the TayNew ship to have fans interacting with it as if it was in fact a gay love story, that idea and fan commentary was explicitly encouraged by the creators, and the show has been quite successful despite never actually delivering on all the TayNew bait. I'm definitely concerned that we might have somehow swung back around to queerbaiting being seen as acceptable and good, as long as it features popular branded pairs. I don't have any bigger thoughts to offer about how this should be addressed, but just wanted to come back and say you were valid for naming that!
Thank you. I didn't want to be correct. And I am still hoping to wrong about what this says about where GMMTV is going.
But I am not gonna lie, seeing the posts about the finale did regnite the massive fury I had at this project when it was first called a bromance. So I am going to use your ask as an opportunity to vent.
FOR THE RECORD: I am not mad at you, or at the people and mutual on my dash that have enjoyed the show and are claiming as gay out of spite. My anger is at GMMTV and at GMMTV alone.
THEY DID THIS SHIT TWICE ALREADY!!! Back to fucking back.
I know High Schoool Frenemy is being watched by like 5 people on tumblr. But it's doing well outside of tumblr. They are using bl style fanservice with the 2 main boys of that show. I have seen the shippy content and compilations along with the other bl couples. Not to mention people like Jojo saying those characters are the his new favorite ship on twitter.
AND I AM SO PISSED!!!!
I am glad you brought up TayNew because there is no doubt in my mind that they used TayNew for Peaceful Property as a test. They knew there could be backlash. They knew the bl fandom could have rioted. But they also knew that if it that rage would have been directed at TayNew not at the director, not the company but TAYNEW.
And I think TayNew knew this. Because they spend weeks on social media doing preintive damage control, I have seen the posts of them (or at least New) saying it wasn't going to be romantic. I don't think the two of them forgot how they were left to eat the shit alone over the bullshit backlash during the TayGun kiss situation with GMMTV doing fuck all for them.
And what pisses me off is that BL audience didn't even give a backlash. They eat that shit up like it was fucking icecream.
The BL audience is literally doing their job for them. They are taking a show with some gay subtext and running with it.
They are showing up for the fanservice (again broder audience outside of tumblr), and gleefully closing their eyes and ears and saying well I Think It's Gay.
What do you think Mega Corporation GMMTV is going to take from the success and no backlash? If the answear is anything but: We can produce half of the BLs as usual and make the rest Bromances, you have more faith in corporations then I do.
Because Bromances can be watched by non BL audiences as well. The BL niche is a big one, but it is still a niche.
And now they won't even have to bother inserting arguable quality gay commentary or struggles or homophobia. Or any gay kissing, no more workshops. No more worries about how effective these potential straight boys are going to be at playing gay. All they have to do is making them do fanservice, and they are great at training people for that. Or better yet, actually use one or two ships that have kissed before and done actual BLs.
Will they stop doing BL at all, obviously not, you gotta give the BL audience something to remind them they can still show boys kissing, and we have the Ex Morning and Jojo that will never actually stop making BLs and some gay shit. But if in the next line up we will more bromances, and eventually we get half BL and half bromances I wouldn't be surprised.
Of course maybe I am just pessimistic and cynical. Maybe the proto bdsm in the heart killers is enough to persuade people that I am totally wrong. I guess we will see about that.
Thanks again for the ask and the oppurtunity to vent a little. Again I don't fault anyone for enjoying this, it was design to get the BL audience watching.
I will personally be keeping with my own resolution and never watch another gmmtv show live ever again, maybe binge the few that sound interesting and that's it.
At least I can find comfort in the idea that that other companies do not have the same level of BIG cast of boys and big budget to do the same thing and follow in the bromance trend.
#I saw the directors comments#the shipping#i saw all of it#I see it all every time on my tl constantly those Conner’s#people questioning why these stories are better than bl#how they prefer these over bl#how Gmmtv should stop doing bls and just do these instead#I’m just so exhausted by it all
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i’m so ready to be done with this journal i hate almost every entry i’ve written in here.
#it is so full of self-loathing and everything i wrote was super rushed#at some point i got really serious abt wanting to change my journaling style and give thorough descriptions of ppl and activities#but that felt so unnatural to me and i started to avoid writing. and i’d end up just giving half-assed summaries#i lost my spontaneity!#all i want is to create artifacts that are full of things worth revisiting in the future#and to keep track of how i’m feeling#and to keep a record of how the events of my days progress so that ppl have a little story of me to read after i’m dead#is that so much to ask#don’t know why i’m telling u all this
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Someone come help me kill my ghoul and skeleton so I can have Ragnvaldr and Cahara in my party
#fear and hunger#enki ankarian#ragnavaldr#cahara#enki#funger#digital art#csp#pixel art#my art#I’m 100% certain that any jokes I make have already been made b4 but I don’t care ☺️🌸#you’ll see it agin lmao#really in love w these dither brushes rn#feel free to tell me if u think I’m going overboard tho lol I’m a all or nothing kind of guy#actually now I’m thinking about trying a lineless dither only drawing..that could look cool..I dont know Im good enough at rendering tho hm#anyway I didn’t know you couldn’t swap party members so now I’m just ambling along w my ghoulish and skele wistfully glancing at rag lmao#as soon as one of them dies I’m running back to him#but so far I’m the only one of the party dying ajksdnalj#the ghoul keeps getting me poisoned too smh 😒#also WHY are these men so naked and shredded!!! my muscle knowledge is not good enough for this… I had to look up so many refs lol#enkivaldr#i am putting this in ship tag actually thanks
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i seriously need more narumi and mina moments because just imagine the relief mina felt when narumi joined, similar age to her and was also considered a prodigy in the force.
to have someone to share the burden of the defence force’s future with must’ve felt so freeing. because before he joined it was just her, age 18, being told that she was going to change kaiju extermination with her exceptional synergy with firearms. and she was so, so scared.
narumi doesn’t have the kind of skills or talent for long range combat like she does, but he’s also a top candidate (despite his behavioural issues- which aren’t much of a hinderance anyway) and mina doesn’t have to carry the burden of the future alone anymore
(although she’d never admit, given she probably views narumi as someone completely shocking i just think it’s so funny how she stood there like O_O when she first saw him)
like i LOVE seeing the contrast. mina who was sent onto the battlefield for the first time and was deathly afraid vs narumi who was sent out and immediately took action because that’s how he always lived (fighting)
and now they’re the top two strongest captains in the force and they will be the ones to lead the new generation..
#egg boils#IM SOOO BONKERS SORRY THEYRE MY FAVES I WANT THME TO HAVE AN IMPACT ON ESCH ORHEF SO FUCKING BAD.#consider this: narumi teaches mina to be less serious. to stop holding onto the burden of others and her team mates and Fight because she#wants to. hold onto ur weapon clench ur teeth because you WANT to be here and protect lives and not because You feel like you have to ashir#and mina teaches him abt team work and yes you can work along but And maybe having to consider ur team members IS burdensome for u but isnt#it nice to have someone watch ur back? for someone to Help you narumi#please please show me how they’ve influenced each other I KNOW DAMN WELL THEY HAVE. I INOW IT. matsumoto please.#i will never be over mina and how genuinely AFRAID she was#ashiro mina my absolute beloved#narumi tells mina to stop being so freaked out all the damn time because you have your team mates don’t you?! always talking my ear off abo#about team work but you can’t even trust your own comrades?!#mina tells narumi that HE keeps acting recklessly because he doesn’t trust his team mates either!!! they’re perfectly capable too#ohhhhh i’m sick im sick i want mina to knock some sense into narumi and vice versa i want them to be the reason they trust their units to#SUCH a degree now. i want them to be the reason why they stand for their men so strongly (narumi immediately pouncing on no.9 when he showe#kikoru isao’s face. mina’s anger and appreciation when her unit stood their ground against no10.#mina#narumi#kaiju no.8#they’re my top two of course i’m making this shit up. i need it so bad bside please please please#i know she grit her teeth and got used to be alone when she subjugates from the roof top but CONSIDER narumi the delinquent but extremely#capable recruit being the one to show her how to live less in fear#i need a tag for them#don’t be stupid#okay that’s it that’s my tag#kn8 spoilers#sorry again. tagging for myself#narumina
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You lost true friends due to being a crazy person
Uh ma’am this is a mdcdonalds…
#you told me you hope i get raped again told me to kill myself and called the cops to my house#you threatened my family you lie about everything you copy my posts word for word and post them like u wrote them😂😂#you have now spent EIGHT YEARS obsessing over and stalking me#you made fake accounts and sent yourself all the awful shit you said to me then posted it everywhere telling people that it was me… LMFAO#you have the maturity of a fuckin stump evidently even now EIGHT years later#I’m in your head rent free and I don’t want to be#we were never friends… LMAO ????#why would I EVER EVER want to be your friend. be fr.#this is a wild thought process like be fuckin serious☠️#you’re so pathetic#I’ve had to block like twenty ip addresses because you will not fucking stop obsessing over me. I know I’m sexy but this shit is just weird#Olivia you look so beyond stupid lmfao#get some fucking help#you’re fucked
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if I get told ONE MORE TIME that “Gooseworx doesn’t want us to ship characters” or “ewww that ship is pedo bc [TADC character that is an ADULT] is [ADULT AGE] and [ANOTHER ADULT TADC CHARACTER] is [ANOTHER ADULT AGE]” I’m gonna whip out the piss-filled Raid Spray Bottle™️
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#Gooseworx technically said they don’t give a flying FUCK on what characters anyone ships because they are all A-D-U-L-T-S#I don’t even fucking know why people constantly tell me these things when in fact I HARDLY float around that theme of the fanbase#apologies for coming off so rude I’m just at my limit 💀
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maybe it’s the autism in me or whatever but the way Kiril is getting tossed around as a tool is making me so pissed for him
no one is telling him what’s going on and when they DO it’s just to be like btw i have been using you the whole time! lol! worst part is like. most of it is coming from his friends.
idk i’d start breaking shit if i was him atp. also i’d probably never do anything for anyone else ever again they can figure it out on their own if it means you’re just gonna make me get holy radiation poisoning again. radiant poisoning. if you will.
#ffxiv spoilers#shadowbringers spoilers#ocs#oc: kiriltugh#and the way i know it’s gonna get WORSE. BRUHHHHH#also if i was him. id be like. hey urianger i know the last time you didn’t tell us what was going on was for a good reason#but i seem to recall the plan before that one.#and i don’t like. that.#also FFFUFUCKIJGGGG#g’raha……….#imagine u r so happy to see someone you thought you’d never see again and then he’s like.#btw i’m kms now. which is why i had you drink all that poison.#BETRAYAL!!!!!!#that kiril trusts ANYONE EVER is a fucking MIRACLE at this point#AND YESUI TOO#surprise you’ve been getting your brother killed this whole time!#shoot him again actually. she says. finish the fucking job ascian do it do it d
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someone PLSSSSS explain to me how spotify says my 6th most listened to artist this month is taylor swift when 1. i cannot remember the last time i listened to a taylor swift song and 2. going thru my top tracks of the month not a single taylor swift song is listed. every day my taylor swift spotify conspiracy grows not yet sure what it all means……
#michelle speaks#also if i go on any of those stat things it tells me taylor swift is my most listened to artist of all time which is HILARIOUS#like i know those sites r only picking up data from the last yr or so now they used to pick it up from many yrs ago forward#but it’s funny bc i spent 2020-2022 exclusively listening to mcr and nothing else. LITERALLY nothing else. so it is just funny to look at#when i know it’s not remotely true 😭 idk why they put all time when that’s not what it’s looking at#but anyway. it’s just not possible. i listen to hits different one time and spotify is like ur in the top 100 listens of her ur actually#her biggest fan did u know that? i’m like i don’t get it. TRULY i don’t get it 😭
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AGHHH y’all my hands hurt so fucking bad because i spent like. a solid three hours carving my pumpkin like. 3?? 4?? days ago?? what is up with that bro. what is up with that. stop it. owie.
#i also so might have some sort of chronic pain thing which so could be why i’m still ow but that is another topic for another day#bc i have not figured that out yet i just know that i am never not in pain and idk why!!#also it’s so weird to live in pain & be used to it & then have people tell u its not normal to not be in pain all the time bc wdym.#and i know that is the most generic chronic pain experience ever but that is because it is so real actually idk#like yeah bc wdym. like. nobody else is constantly in some varying degree of physical pain??? what???#like i have been in some sort of pain since i can remember and it’s just kinda. you just get used to it#and now i have such a high pain tolerance that i don’t really realize when i’m in pain until it’s excruciating!!#or i consciously am making the effort to thin about jow my body feels.#like if i am actually thinking about oh hey. how is my body feeling today. should i wear heels or am i going to want to die#by the end of the day if i do that#anyways.#pumpkin#pumpkin carving#halloween
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is it gay to be so overwhelmed with emotions by thinking about someone you care about so much you almost want to pick up writing again
#- but also it’s night time and you can’t fall asleep even though you need to get up early#and you’re just stuck imagining the lines you want written down#so your only options are to do it now while they’re still there#or not and then forget all of them in the morning and cry#hi i’m the gay one help i haven’t been in this state in a while#i’m just in that state again somehow i guess#probably because i never got a chance to tell this person how something so small for them meant a world to me in that moment#i hope i’ll be able to tell you all that myself in a more direction way but i love you so much you mean the world to me#okay i don’t actually want to scare you off by saying that but knowing what my mind is imagining for this you’d think that yourself anyway#i should probably stop taking now it’s way too late and i’m being tooooo emotionally vulnerable rn#hi guys sleepy night time frab here i’m the (other) emotion + vulnerable one#don’t you love to see it#i wonder if anyone is still down here reading these tags#hi if you are! send aaaa hmmm send a little ‘£; e’ if you read to this point#also why r u still reading? weirdoooo /jk love you#but really don’t be down here too long i’m sorta bleeding all my feelings out right now#because i’m so bad at expressing myself directly and as soon as i want to#ugh i’ll leave now i’m lonely and talking to myself too much again#night night everpony#frabrant#wonder if i’ll write more again… ok i’m LEVAING now gah
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Ok.
#photomatt#‘’if we should continue to invest tumblr at all’’ ok man whatever#sure.#I’m not denying genuine death threats happened I’m sure they did#and like. don’t send direct death threats or death wishes to the people in power u hate.#you’re putting yourself in unnecessary danger for at best some mild catharsis. not a good trade off#don’t get it twisted#predstrogen didn’t do that for the record they dug through her blog to find vent posts#which is what the real problem is: she and many other people have been harassed on or off of this site for over a decade now#which is a problem that’s been with this site since at least 2015 and almost certainly earlier#but man. u can tell when someone doesn’t know how to handle public relations when they sound this fucking condescending#w/o Actually saying jack shit#I’ve got a migraine I’m just gonna post this and hope someone w/ a brain (unlike me) can explain properly why this is#the worlds soppiest nothingburger
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just letting everyone know that if you’ve ever read or drew fanart for tllr i literally want to be ur friend. i wanna be friends with all of u. anyone that has complimented my art or writing, i wanna be ur friend. is this a normal thing to say? idk!! if u like my ocs we should just be friends i think!!! just saying like, if ur already fans of my characters and story i think we’d get along great there’s literally nothing stopping us
#this isn’t directed at anyone in particular#except tllr readers#like if u like tllr we should all just be one big friend group i think#and i genuinely don’t know if that’s a normal thing for someone to say so just tell me if i’m being weird by saying this#but i mean#why not!!#i’m terrible at making friends as is so if u like tllr just straight up dm me and we can be besties#if we’re not already#u are all just so cool and i wanna talk to people#wyrms says stuff#wyrms lore
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ah. help.
(tw sa mention in the tags)
#so#pretty sure my friend lost her virginity last night#(not sure she hasn’t said anything yet)#but if she did#i know for a fact she’s gonna be hella annoying about it this week#bc she’s annoying about everything#but this is different#bc she’s gonna be bragging about how she had sex and how the rest of us are virgins#(two of us aren’t be she doesn’t give a shit she just wants to be better than us)#and i am going to be super uncomfortable if she talks about this nonstop (bc she will)#bc of. experiences. i’ve had.#that she knows abt. and that she has insulted and joked abt before.#and im terrified she’s gonna do it again in front of all of our friends#and i can’t take that i can’t fucking take that#she’s an idiot and she doesn’t think about what she says before she says it but that doesn’t matter bc there are some things you need a#filter for and she doesn’t seem to realize that#anyways i’m terrified of going to school tmr bc i don’t wanna deal with that#like yay i’m happy for u that u had sex with a guy you’ve been dating for two months! now please shut the fuck up!#anyways why am i venting on here?#bc i don’t wanna tell my friends bc they’ll think i’m a hypocrite#i’m the one friend who makes sex jokes and is the ‘horny one’#bc i’m hypersexual bc of my. ‘experiences’.#and they’ll think i’m a hypocrite if i tell her to stop talking about sex when that’s what i talk about a lot#so i’m just gonna suffer and pray she doesn’t say something to upset me#k.txt#vent tw#sa tw
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Batman has/had some kind of miscommunication going on with every single one of his kids. The bat family is just one big miscommunication trope after the other.
#him and Dick have miscommunication about how they see each other. Bruce sees Dick as a son and Dick sees Bruce as a father#but they didn’t think the other saw them that way so they never told each other. that’s what led to their fights in Dick’s later teenage#years and dick quitting and becoming nightwing. he thought Bruce only saw him as a ward/robin so he thought that as long as he couldn’t be#robin Bruce wouldn’t want him#and if didn’t help when Bruce stopped talking to him when he left. though to Bruce it was because he thought Dick didn’t want to talk to him#and also Dick really needs to tell Bruce like ‘hey you put me on a higher pedestal then you put even yourself which is saying something and#and I don’t like that cuz that’s too much pressure for me. and also since you did it everyone else does it and has done it since I was Robin#and it’s literally just a matter of time before I break from the pressure cuz I’m not fucking Superman and I can’t take it’#and Jason with the whole UTRH thing. you know all Bruce had to say was that he had tried killing the joker over Jason multiple times and#maybe just explain to Jason WHY he doesn’t kill. a simple ‘you’re better than me because if I killed one person I’d kill everyone’#or it could even just be a simple ‘I do love you Jason youre the kid that I felt most comfortable loving’#and also maybe a ‘I don’t think anything changed after my death and that makes my death meaningless which I think goes against your no kill#rule because I hat is the rule of not a reminder taht death means something. and by that logic my death already went against the rule so why#can’t you do it again for the man that murdered me.’ and Bruce needs to make a presentation: ‘all the ways Jason’s death meant something’#and Tim just needs a simple ‘I don’t see you as work I see you as family.’ maybe even a ‘you don’t have to be the grown up in this relati#anymore I’m sorry you were one to begin with. you should’ve always been the child’#now his miscommunication with Damian goes much deeper but I’m one hundred percent sure if they sit down and air out all of their feelings it#would help a lot but I have a feeling that won’t happen#a ‘I have trouble understanding you because both your trauma and compassion run deeper than mine and I also never had to grow up to be a#weapon’ from Bruce and a ‘I don’t understand your optimism and moral stubbornness and easness why is it so easy to be good for u?’#his miscommunication with Cass stems from two things a simple ‘why are you so afraid to show how deeply you love?’ from Cass maybe a#‘I’m jealous of you because you’re better than me not only in fighting but morally and emotionally’ from Bruce should fix it#and Steph— look I’m not even going to TRY to get into that that goes SO much deeer and wider than any one else’s miscommunication#but maybe a ‘you reminded me of Jason at a time where that wasn’t a good thing’ from Bruce should start things up#for Duke a ‘I can never truly understand what you’re going/have gone through and for that I’m sorry’ from Bruce should suffice#maybe also Bruce telling him that just because he sees Duke as a son doesn’t mean he’s trying any less to get Duke his parents back#oh and babs just needs to go up to him and say ‘I don’t like that what happened to me happened for your story and not mine and I don’t like#that you don’t let me make it into my story’ and then Bruce can follow up and say ‘I see so much of myself in you and it makes me worry and#also I can never look at you without feeling guilty cuz you’re right what happened to you happened for MY story so I’m at fault’#then the two can go back to being too much like each other and sitting at their respective computers
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If jeonghan and I were stranded on a deserted island please have trust in us we will repopulate it yes sir
#and on that noteeee. I think i need a tumblr detox a break a hiatus what is it called i don’t even know#i’m waiting for my shelf to arrive to show u guys and then i’m 🫡 off for a while. Updates to come no one gives a fack but i like announcing#shiet also i rly want to combine my aesthetic blog with ashmp3 so i’ll think abt it too but yeah. Why am i thinking abt it when i don’t even#wanna be here i don’t know u tell me#also why did this all come from this facken post i forgot what was i even saying oh my#tt
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