#don’t know the doses lol
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gremtokes · 21 days ago
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slav-every-day · 4 months ago
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eye-of-yelough · 7 months ago
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his ass is NOT having a good day. -> picrew
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sassyandclassy94 · 7 months ago
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I used the “Stone in my shoe” line on a guy at church last night (“What?? Why am I a stone in your shoe?!” “Dude, relax! It’s a line from Masters of the Air, I’m being funny!”) and before that I tried to recommend Masters of the Air to ANOTHER guy at church (Isaiah actually… for those of you who used to follow the… chronicles) and he said HE CAN’T TAKE A LOT OF WWII🙄 I should’ve said “Those who don’t know their history are doomed to repeat it” BUUUT, instead I told him he should get over it and watch it cause it’s good. IF you watch it with VidAngel’s filter, like I do. Then he said:
“Filter? You girls are getting a little more liberal in what you watch now aren’t you? With all the swearing and rude remarks.”
Michaiah piped in with: “SAYS THE GUY WHO LAUGHED AT BOBBY’S RUDE REMARK ABOUT THE OARS NKT BEING IN SYNC. Mr. SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER.”
And he could not deny it. He agreed and said that’s fair. And then he talked about how it was the delivery of the line, not the actual line itself. Uh huh. Sure it is.
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sanchoyo · 10 months ago
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haven’t been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth we’ve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked up…we have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help it’s like an hour drive there, so that’s been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but he’s been sick for a week and having concerning symptoms…) if I’m not on a ton or slow to replying to messages it’s bc I’m working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi 😞
#it makes me a lil mad his meds were kinda pricy and they literally are making things worse. like sure he isn’t have seizures but he can#barely walk and keeps running into things and keeps having diarrhea so like. 🙃 and the meds are making him sooo hungry and thirsty#I’m seeing the vet AGAIN FRIDAY I know she’s so sick of me but man my little guy. if she can’t figure out a combo that doesn’t have such#bad side effects I’m literally going to scream and cry#he’s the most sensitive boy in the world and my mental health hangs on his and my cats well being. please. 😭#sanchoyorambles#I’ve also called them like twice to find out if I should stop or what they want me to do and keep getting ‘oh they’ll call u back’ WHEN#GIRL MY PUBBY#if I don’t hear back before his next dose I’m just gonna make an executive decision myself to stop them for now#he’s literally on the smallest possible dose too bc he’s so little. so. they can’t go down in dosage they’ll need to put him on smth else 😑#which means paying for ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION A WEEK AFTER ALREASY GETTING ONE THAT WAS $30 ON TOP OF HIS STUPID VET BILL#screaming.#and like if I have the money it’s fine. and it’s not like the vet could’ve known he’d have bad side effects#im just frustrated it’s no one’s fault#I could go to a closer vet. the thing is I LIKE the one further away#they have the only groomer I’ve found that can trim him without sedating him! they send me reminders abt his shots! I like the vibes!!!#they seem caring!! but they are always SOOO BUSY it takes forever to make appointments or to hear back from them 😭#remember how I said one of my goals was to buy a vechicle this year lmao the vet bills are draining any savings I’ve managed to build up 🤧#my pets are priority 1 tho like even before all the medical stuff /I/ need like lol… that’s my baby#it’s just really bad timing. not that there’s good timing for medical issues but. u know
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dumbluckpup · 2 months ago
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Ya boy accidentally doubled up on adhd meds
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snailwitdamail2 · 1 year ago
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crimsonkenjii-writes · 1 year ago
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crimsooonnnn, (〃ω〃) i wanted to ask if you have any cute stories about baby tomioka or any funny family moments with you, him, and giyuu ♡ i’d love to hear about them!!
Aaaahh these thoughts usually just creep up on me lolol but I’ll try to remember them!!
One I always think of though, that I’ve already mentioned, is baby Tomioka being a hair puller lolol. Always pulling our hair and never realizing bc he’s just trying to cling on lol. Only sometimes does he do it out of entertainment. So sometimes I’ll headcannon that that’s the reason Giyuu cuts his hair so it could encourage his baby to pull on hair less lol
He also like to chew on things, teething or not teething. He’s just a chewer lolol. Since I also mentioned already with the whole “he loves to steal Giyuu’s kirimi keychain and chew on it” kekeke. He’ll chew on his straw and then whine that he can’t drink out of it anymore bc he chewed the straw shut lolol
And he of course had the good baby smell!! He smelled so cute and sweet, Giyuu had caught me huffing his head multiple times. (And often times he joined me too lmao)
I also kind of wanna say he’s more of a papa’s boy!! 😖 not cuz it’s “father and first born son” but just because they get along so, so well. So this one time, Giyuu was holding him and he just kept crying and Giyuu didn’t know why. He tried everything and nothing worked and when I held him, he finally stopped crying. He just wanted his mama and we were both surprised bc of just how much more attached he is to Giyuu lolol. (Of course he loves me too! He was more attached to me the much younger he was since a baby usually often depends more on their mother lol)
I REALIZE IM JUST REALLY RAMBLING ABOUT HEADCANONS LMAO!!
Okay so a silly moment or scenario!
One I think about often is Giyuu walking in on me singing our baby a lullaby 😖😖💗 there are a few songs I always have in mind that I think would be great as a lullaby. And I’d just wanna sing them to my fictional baby lol. But Giyuu knows I’ll stop if I see or hear him so he’s just admiring from the doorframe until I sense his presence and get embarrassed that he heard me lmao. (Giyuu will also sing to his baby, but so softly and quietly. More of like he’s singing to himself while holding his baby but nonetheless still singing to him ♡)
Not really a silly moment but I guess a cute one! I looveee ponds and watching fish swim around and I wanna say my baby would be mesmerized by it too lol. So we’re walking through a garden as a family one day and find a pond with koi inside so me and baby Tomioka are just staring in awe, pointing at the fish and just simply entranced lol. And it gives Giyuu a chance to just stare and admire us and he just thinks about how absolutely happy and lucky he is ppfftt. Such a soft expression on his face!! Smiling happily at us as he watches his family being all cute and domestic lolol. And then he starts to think of adding a koi pond to his estate so that we could stare at it all the time kekeke
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year ago
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I’m officially going back to work on Saturday <3
#just a two hour lunch cover. just to see if my knee can handle it or will try to kill me for standing for that long#but it feels like a big step. it feels massive to trust my knee like that again#gotta make sure i do all my exercises between now & then lol to make sure it’s as strong as it needs to be#but god i hate doing squats. i haaaate iiiiiittttttt#i hate doing the lateral band walk even more though. can i tell you a secret? i’ve skipped it the past couple of days#just couldn’t handle it on top of my lunges and my squats and standing on one knee on top of a pillow and swaying side to side to shift#my balance from leg to leg……. and the towel thing which is supposed to be strengthening my shitty vmo#and i thought the calf stretch was bad. BRO. i do the calf stretch ~240 times a day now. 120 per leg#the other night i woke up with one of those really bad cramps in my calf and i did the calf stretch and it went away#anyway. if anyone has any advice for doing squats when it feels like your kneecap may fall off if you do a squat; let me know#also let me know if you have any advice for doing a job where you have to stand and walk and stuff the whole time. and your knee feels like#it’s going to fall off. i am kind of freaking out ngl#i think i’m just going to dose myself up on painkillers; wear my brace and just do it#for god’s sake the assistant manager literally needs a knee replacement and she proceeds. i don’t need a knee replacement. i must be fine#personal
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the-trans-dragon · 2 years ago
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Kipo happy rambling
Ooooooo I never noticed before that Scarlemange’s Palace is a run down mall!!! :0!!!! That’s SO GOOD TO ANALYZE!!
Some of the mutants have towns they took over, like the Umlaut snakes. The Newton wolves have an entire observatory they use as a house. The Timbercats made their home in trees. But Scarlemange! The guy obsessed with humans (and killing them all) chose a MALL.
What a human place! A gilded palace!! The gold and jewels are fake, because it’s a mall. All the luxury is simply imitation, a snare set by capitalism to gather any extra money people had. The unseen product being sold to everyone: the brand name, the illusion of wealth, of the upper class, sold to you—and its on sale, buy two get one half off!
The piano was there as a illusion of luxury. The glass ceiling, colorful and remnant of church windows. A silly little capitalism machine dressed up like a palace or a cathedral. What a fascinating place for Scarlemagne to live!
A mall is a perfect building to represent the society that existed before. Gilded. A comforting lie. All the glory of capitalism, in all its imitation and flimsiness. What a perfect place, a perfect palace, for the king who wants to finally end humanity!
I don’t really like Scarlemagne because I’m soft and he is Trying To Kill Everyone, and I’m in a very silly overanalytical mood and probably reading way too much into it. But :3 I’m havin fun lol
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inkprincesse · 10 months ago
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I’m having a really awful brain day today and i don’t knew who to talk to about it because i don’t know HOW to talk about it , it’s like all my thoughts are moving in slow motion so much so that i lose them before i can even complete them, it’s like my usual racing thoughts but in molasses.
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justtogetthrough · 1 year ago
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It’s always funny being in a mental health crisis and having someone external be like uuuh have you thought about going to the hospital? And it’s like no, actually. Because hospitals turn everyone away even when they’re at great risk to themselves and others so nothing about the ER comes up in my mind because it’s always a tiresome and humiliating waste of time and they don’t actually ever wanna help. It is not an option I ever think about.
My friend was like but… you haven’t slept in 2 days, likely aren’t going to sleep tonight, and this kind of PTSD flare up has led to psychosis in the past, are you sure they’d turn you away?
And honestly? Not for that lol. When it comes to self harm they absolutely do not give a fuck but if I present saying I haven’t slept in days, this has triggered psychotic symptoms in the past, and this is potentially a problem that can be treated with ~drugs~ instead of actual mental health help, maybe I should consider the hospital 🤔
I just don’t know what to do about work this week and I’m taking it one day at a time bc I have actual children depending on me right now and can’t disappear but if I’m not sleeping still by Monday morning I’m gonna be in no shape to work and I might have to tell my manager regardless of whether I just take time off to sit through this hell on my own or maybe go to the hospital to see if they’ll admit me to experiment on me with drugs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m honestly curious if they could find something that’d work. Nothing in my bedroom pharmacy has done a THING to reduce the agitation.
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nereidprinc3ss · 6 months ago
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early seasons spencer and bau reader undercover at a club and it’s just like. he is so flustered but also weirdly confident and do with this what you will
in which spencer reid and BAU fem!reader have to pose as a couple at a club. she's more than a little flirty. the conversation actually gets quite suggestive. he's cute when he gets flustered.
warnings/tags: discussions of sex, reader wears a tight dress and makeup and heels, discussions of blushing but r's skin color is not implied to be light, i just needed a reason to talk about sex flush LOL, if u don't visibly blush this will still read fine
a/n: I LOVE EARLY SEASONS SPENCER X FLIRTY READER OH MY GODDD thank you for this request angel from heaven I hope you all like this as much as I do teehee
The bass buzzes through the floor and vibrates your teeth. House music has never really been your thing. Neither have tight dresses and high heels while on the job—but you’re willing to objectify yourself just a little if it will lure yet another loser who likes to chop up young couples into the awaiting arms of the American correctional system. 
Or to the wrong end of Emily's Glock. Whatever comes first.  
You scan the club—it’s not your usual scene, and you can only imagine how Dr. Reid is faring. As far as you can tell this is essentially his nightmare. It’s sensory overload central even for you. 
Your eyes catch on him at the bar, tucked away from the writhing crowd. He’s standing near the end, one arm resting on the surface while the other hand is jammed in his pocket. He seems completely unaware of the several women circling closer and closer. The whole earnest and dorky but still handsome thing seems to work well for him. Or, it would, if he had any interest in utilizing it. He’s dressed a little sharper than usual—no doubt styled by Morgan and Prentiss. Hell, the earnest dorkiness and the well fitted dark suit is working for you if nobody else. 
Sometimes he just looks… edible. 
And self-discipline doesn't always come naturally to you. 
“Doctor,” you purr in greeting, grazing the forearm propped up on the bar with white-tipped nails as you insert yourself in front of him. His fingers twitch under your light touch. 
Spencer doesn’t even try to hide the way his eyes sink down your frame, sticking to every highlighted curve like you’re dripping honey. Or maybe he just doesn’t realize that you can see that’s what he’s doing. 
“Hi. You look nice.”
“Aw,” you smile, dulling the salacious edge to your voice, “you didn’t have to say that. Someone’s improvising.”
“I meant it. That dress looks nice on you,” he says, simply, and you hate his specific brand of charm because it’s not intentional. It’s not something he puts on. It comes out of nowhere and always knocks you on your ass when it hits—even in the smallest doses. His eyes narrow and he leans closer. You can feel the energy rippling around him like a force field as he examines you. “You’re wearing more makeup than you normally do.”
“Do you like it? Penelope ordered the wrong shade of blush and gave it to me. Supposedly it’s meant to make me look like I just had an orgasm. I don’t know if I believe it.”
Much to your disappointment, Spencer leans back, scanning the crowd for your target and speaking as if he’s only half-interested. 
“That’s not what you would look like. Sex flush deepens the color of your entire face and chest, not just your cheeks.”
Your brows knit as you contend with unwelcome butterflies. 
“Buy me a drink before you start telling me what I’ll look like after I orgasm.”
That catches his attention, and his suddenly wide eyes snap to you. If he had a drink, he’d be choking on it. 
“I wasn’t—it was a general you, I’d never—that would be inappropriate. It was. It was inappropriate. Sorry. I’m sorry.”
You lean with your back to the bar, elbows propped on black granite, and swing your hair over your shoulder. Spencer’s eyes dart back down to your décolletage and then up to the ceiling like he regrets being born. You smile wickedly. Much better. This is the way God intended for you to interact with Spencer Reid. 
“I’ll consider forgiving you. And I don’t blush. Not when I orgasm, not ever.”
Admittedly, you just want to milk the whole talking about you orgasming thing to see how pink you can make him. It’s not often you’re gifted with an opportunity to be so candid about your sexuality or flirt this unabashedly. But you are supposed to be posing as a couple. Maybe you’re just feeling extra in character. 
Instead of stumbling over his words some more, Spencer smiles with a degree of bemusement like he’s caught you in a white lie. 
His smile is so nice. His teeth are perfect, and his lips—
“Yes you do.”
Always so convinced he’s right, this one. 
It’s annoying. And kind of hot. 
“Uh, I promise you I do not.”
“Everyone blushes. It's a sympathetic nervous system activation response wherein blood rushes to your face. Your blood vessels dilate when you get flustered or anxious. Your face gets hot and your undertone changes.”
You raise your brows. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was challenging you. 
“Yeah? Wanna bet?”
“Actually, no,” he mutters, losing any bravado and casting his eyes downward subserviently. “You have a habit of proving me wrong.”
“That’s right,” you gloat, smiling wide. Someone bumps into you, and you turn around, highly unprofessional insult locked and loaded—but it’s just a drunk girl who apologizes and stumbles off. The encounter does, however, remind you that you’re supposed to be finding a killer. “Do you think this is the best positioning? He might not be able to find us way over here.”
“You think we should move?”
You look back at him and nod, holding your hand out. He looks at it uncertainly. You waggle your fingers and infuse your words with sugar. 
“Oh, come on. I don’t want to lose you. And we’re supposed to look like a couple, remember?”
Gingerly he accepts your hand. His is bigger than you’d have thought. Not nearly as freezing as your own perpetually are. It occurs to you as you grab his hand that his bone structure really is bigger than yours. He’s… tall. He is, at the end of the day, a real life adult man. His presence is palpable behind you and you enjoy the weight of his hand in yours as you tug him through the crowd, perhaps not taking the most direct route through the throng just so you can savor being able to touch him like this for a little longer. 
Miraculously you spot an empty booth and slide into it. It’s a deep alcove, shadowy and secluded at the back. That’s where you settle, against black vinyl, and where you wave at Spencer to join you. 
He lingers at the edge of the table, glancing around at the groups of dancing and drinking young adults. 
“I don’t know. Can you even see the dance floor from back there?”
“Part of it. But I’m sure he’ll be looking in the booths for couples. He’ll come to us.”
Spencer faces you again and sighs ruefully, a begrudging smirk playing at his lips as he slides into the booth and joins you against the back wall. His side is warm against yours. He smells nice. Clean. Almost herbal, like patchouli or vetiver. 
“What? You really hate sitting next to me that much?”
Spencer’s lips part wryly before he speaks, like he almost thought better of it but decided to anyway. 
“I think you just wanted a reason to get me alone and secluded so you can finally accost me.”
Your knees bump. You lean into it. 
“Accost you? That seems harsh,” you pout, leaning toward him clandestinely to undo his top button.
“I don’t see how. You are literally trying to take my clothing off as we speak.”
“I’m just increasing your sex appeal. It’ll be good, trust me. Maybe you’ll even end up taking one of those girls from the bar home. Or—back to the hotel, I should say.”
Spencer covers your fussy hands with his own sweetly, like he can sense the true jealousy simmering underneath the sarcasm, and places them in your lap. The touch lingers.
“Are you always like this?” He murmurs, voice lower than you can recall ever hearing it and twisted into the shape of a smile. 
“Only with you, Dr. Reid. Speaking of, how about you? Do you flirt with many other FBI agents on official business?”
“Just the one. She’s kind of a full-time job.”
“Shut up. I’m basically your babysitter. If anything, I should be paid extra for dealing with you.”
“Attempting to seduce your charge seems like a bad business model. There are definitely some ethical issues there.”
His hands still rest on yours. You lace your fingers with his and speak sweetly, meeting his eyes best you can in the dark. 
“I wasn’t aware I was seducing you. Do you feel seduced?”
He’s the first to look away after a few seconds pass—pulls your hands apart gently, politely arranging them back on your lap. 
“I think you’re incorrigible and a terrible influence. In all honesty, you terrify me and more often than not I walk away from our interactions a little confused.”
You clap a hand to your heart, the bare skin revealed by your low cut dress warm under your fingers. 
“Spencer… that kind of turned me on.”
He just looks at you for a moment, a hint of a smile on his pretty face, long enough to make you feel a bit nervous. 
Then he’s leaning forward, and unconsciously so are you, almost forgetting to breath when you’re practically pressed against him in this booth and he’s whispering so low and sweet into your ear. 
“He’s watching us. Right across the floor, next to the girl in the blue dress. White button up and a leather jacket.” His hand slides over yours, fingers skimming your collarbone in the process as he interlocks your grasp once more. “Keep your hand right here and lean closer. We need to maintain his interest.”
“I don’t think I can lean any closer,” you breathe, hoping it doesn’t register as nervous as it really is. You’re supposed to be the confident one who teases him. “But if you want me to sit on your lap, just ask. I won’t say no.”
He chuckles, too loud to be amorous. It’s clearly genuine. It sounds like the way his reddened cheeks always look. It almost does more for you than the bedroom voice.
“You… you are beyond help. I don’t think you could be appropriate if your life depended on it.”
Slowly you pull back so you can look into his eyes—much closer than you normally have an excuse to. They dart wildly over your face, partially obscured by the dark which cuts shadows deep into the dramatic hollows of his bone structure. He really is so pretty. 
You glance toward the man, who’s pretending not to watch you. When you focus your attention back on Spencer, sliding your hand up the curve of his jaw, you find yourself making a dangerous wish. You find yourself wishing that you didn’t have an audience. That this wasn’t all for show. That neither of you had earpieces in.
His pulse hammers under your little finger, and his lips part slightly as he doesn’t have the wherewithal to not glance at yours. He’s so unaware of how obvious he’s being. It’s cute. 
You run the tips of your fingers through the hair in front of his ear, the one sans bluetooth, pushing it back, before leaning in close once more to whisper. 
“Good thing we’re not going for appropriate. Actually—your hands could stand to wander a little more, Dr. Reid. Let me know if you need me to tell you where to put them.”
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slut4thebroken · 10 months ago
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Doctor’s Orders
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Pairing | Jonathan Crane x patient!reader
Summary | Jonathan Crane wears a weak dose of fear toxin as cologne to his appointments just to put his patients on edge. He’s particularly fond of how you react to it though.
Warnings | Smut, 18+, sexual content, manipulation, inappropriate use of fear toxin, obvi, very dubious consent, painful sex, fearplay, HEAVY breeding kink, forced breeding, technically housewife kink?, overstimulation, abuse of power?, ionno lol.
Words | 3.3 k
Notes | Based on this post. Credit to @lasagnebats for the idea. (Lowkey the plot kind of deviated from the whole fear cologne thing tbh but it’s still very relevant so whatever lmao)
Ao3 link | <3
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It’s not mentioned in the actual story but it’s very important for the plot so incase you didn’t read the summary I’m going to say it again lol. He wears a weak dose of fear toxin as his cologne.
��How are you feeling today?” He asked as he walked in and sat down across from you, putting his briefcase at his feet. 
“Better.” You said with a small smile. After only a moment though, your heart started beating harder and faster, and your breathing picked up. You swallowed thickly and cleared your throat before adding, “I- I think.”
“You think?” His voice sent a shiver through your body. You weren’t sure if he was purposely trying to sound threatening, but that’s how you heard it. 
“I…” You couldn’t look at him as your stomach started churning. 
“Please look at me when I'm talking to you.” He sighed, making your gaze snap back to him. “We won’t get anywhere if you continue to overreact to even the simplest questions.” 
“I know— I know. I’m sorry.” You started bouncing your leg incessantly, trying to get rid of some of the nerves you were feeling. “H-how are you?” You asked in return to his original question. 
“Always so polite.” He said with an amused smile. “Why is that?”
“I don’t know… That’s just how I was raised I guess.” You shrugged, not having a better answer for him. 
“It has nothing to do with how terrified you are of upsetting me?” He asked curiously, tilting his head as he looked you up and down. 
“I- I’m not…” You cleared your throat and wiped your sweaty palms on your pants. “I was just… taught to respect people with more authority than me.” You said nervously. But it was true. You were always taught to show respect to people above you no matter what, especially if they were older than you. 
“I see. And you feel I have power over you right now?” 
“Yes.” You said quietly. Doesn’t he always?
“Well I don’t want you to fear me. These sessions are pointless if you can’t be completely open and honest with me.” You looked away from him again and swallowed the lump in your throat. “I promise you, nothing you say will upset me. I just want you to be truthful with me… So I can help you to the best of my ability. Do you understand?”
“Yes..” 
“Good.” He paused, seemingly coming up with the next topic of conversation. “You’re still having nightmares?” Your blood ran cold and your heart was almost starting to hurt with how hard it was beating. And all just because of a reminder of it. 
“Yes.” You whispered. 
“The same ones? Or something different.” 
“The same… But I noticed that they tend to happen more after our sessions than on days where I don’t see you…”
“Yes, that’d make sense. Since we talk about it, it’s only natural your brain would be thinking about it more.” 
“Right. Yeah— You’re right.” You said through a breath. 
“May I see your hand?” He suddenly asked, making you stiffen. 
“What?”
“Your hand.” He held out his own, waiting for you to place yours on top. With a shaky breath, you wiped your hand on your pants again, then placed it on his open palm. He turned it over so your palm was against his, then let out a quiet hum. Before you could ask what that meant, he grabbed your wrist and held your hand up, watching it tremble. He released you and you placed it back in your lap. 
“Why are you so scared?” 
“It… it's probably just because I started thinking about the nightmares.” That was the only explanation that made sense. It’s not like you’d be scared for no reason.
“Really? What were you thinking about?” You froze and looked away from him, trying to recall, but you never actually thought about them, more so just… remembered them. 
“I… I’m not sure.” You said absentmindedly, still trying to figure it out. He sighed quietly and took off his glasses, examining you closely. 
“I like to think that we’ve grown a bit closer since our first session. Wouldn’t you?” All you could do was nod wordlessly. “Almost like we’re more than just doctor and patient… Do you feel that way as well?” 
“I- I think so.” You said quietly. It was hard to tell right now. 
“Which is why I think we can try something that might work better for you.” He stood up and dragged his chair around the table, the loud screeching sound making you flinch. He sat down next to you and you waited nervously for what was next. 
“I think… if your brain is half focused on something else— something pleasurable…” he placed his hand on your thigh and leaned closer to you, “then you might be able to talk freely about what’s troubling you. What do you think?” Your chest was heaving as you stared at him with wide eyes, not able to respond. It felt like your throat was closing up and the speed at which your heart was beating made it feel like his hand was on your chest instead of your thigh, pushing down as hard as he could.       
“Is something wrong?” He asked once he noticed your reaction. 
“I-” You choked out, not able to say anything else. 
“Hm?” He waited, giving you a chance to respond. When you didn’t, he sighed. “As your doctor, if you’re in a state that leaves you unable to think or communicate clearly, it is my responsibility to do what I think is best.” His hand started snaking up your thigh, moving toward the center as it climbed higher. His touch was burning a trail on your skin and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. 
“Just relax. You want to actually make some progress, don’t you?” You gave him the tiniest nod, unable to do anything else. “Good girl. If you can control your emotions, then we can talk like civilized people, but for now, we’re going to have to try this.” You weren't even sure what exactly was making you feel this way, but you trusted Dr. Crane. He would only do what’s best for you. 
“Take off your pants.” He suddenly ordered, making your body go completely rigid. “I won’t repeat myself.” He warned and you immediately scrambled to take them off. Once they were on the floor, he grabbed your hips and guided you so that you were straddling his thighs, sitting on his lap. “Now, this might be a bit overwhelming for you, so I don’t mind if you need to keep your face buried against my chest or neck. Like this,” he gently grabbed the back of your head and pulled you into him, “see?” 
“Thank you.” You whispered, bringing your hands up the grab at his suit jacket. It felt like your entire body was trembling now. “Dr. Crane, I- I don’t feel very good.”
“Shh. Your body’s just excited. That’s why your heart is racing and your breathing is shallow.” He explained calmly. You’ve never felt this ‘excited’ before in your life. “Are you going to let me do my job now?” You nodded, burying your face into the crook of his neck to comfort yourself. “Thank you.” His hands started dragging up and down your thighs, just getting you used to his touch, but all it was doing was making you more anxious. His fingertips felt like claws on your hypersensitive body, but when you looked down, you saw no marks left behind. 
“I know you’re excited but you need to try and calm down.” He said calmly. “Take a deep breath through your nose, then out through your mouth.” You complied, though it wasn’t nearly as slow as he actually wanted. But it was an improvement. “Again. Deeper.” You inhaled again, trying to let the smell and warmth of his body soothe you. But it was like the deep breaths were making everything worse. 
“Dr. Crane, it’s not— I…” He sighed and your stomach churned when you realized he was disappointed in you. “No- I’m sorry. I’ll try again. I’ll keep trying.” You rushed out, taking more deep breaths. 
“That’s a good girl. Nice and slow.” His hands snaked up your thighs to your hips, then up the sides of your body, under your shirt. 
“W-what are you doing?” You choked out, when he dragged his hands up even more until he was touching your breasts. 
“Just feeling your heartbeat.” He explained. You gasped when he gently squeezed your breasts, groping them in a way that made your entire body feel hot. 
“Dr. Crane?” You whimpered and he shushed you. So you clung to his suit jacket and buried your face into the crook of his neck even more, seeking comfort. 
“I’ll need to remove your shirt. It’s obstructing my examination.” You hesitantly agreed and he pulled it over your head, then guided you back into the same position, now only in a pair of panties. “Deep breaths.” He reminded you as he continued. He only groped you for a few seconds before focusing his attention on your nipples. You let out a strangled moan when he gently pinched, rolling them between his fingers. You’ve never been overly sensitive there before, but right now, just the barest touch sent a shock through your body. 
“Your heart is racing.” He commented, flattening his hands on your chest and sliding them down your stomach. He reached your hips and gripped them tightly, then pulled them forward to grind your clothed heat on his bulge. You gasped at the sudden movement and when you felt the obvious sign of his arousal. 
“When’s the last time you’ve been fucked?” His tone remained the same; clinical, unemotional. It took you a moment to register his question, but once you did, a blush took over your face. “You’ve been a patient here for a few months now so I’m assuming at least a few months ago?” All the work you did to calm your breathing was gone in an instant. Words couldn’t form in your mouth, so you just nodded against his chest. “How long before that?” 
“I… I don’t remember.” You choked out, finally able to speak. 
“Poor thing. It’s been that long since you’ve been filled?” He cooed with faux sympathy. 
“Dr. Crane.” You sobbed, fisting his suit even tighter to ground yourself. He was still guiding your hips and you started to feel arousal pooling in your stomach. 
“Is that why you’re not making any progress? Your cunt’s been craving a cock so bad, you can’t even think?” You whined and started moving your hips on your own now, desperate for more. “Yeah I think that is the reason. You’re in your prime child bearing years, it’s only natural you’d be longing to breed.” You let out a strangled moan, feeling both humiliated and aroused by his words. “A few more sessions like this and you might actually be able to use that pretty little head of yours again.” 
“Please,” You whined, tears of desperation brimming in your eyes. Your heart was still pounding and your breathing was still shallow, but it started feeling different. Before, you weren’t sure what the cause was, but now you know it’s arousal. At least it mostly is. He suddenly gripped your chin and pulled your head so your face was only inches from his. As his eyes trailed all over your face, taking you in, he hummed in thought, still staring at you with his piercing gaze. 
“Misattribution of arousal truly is a fascinating subject.” He smiled. You had no idea what that meant. “Take off your underwear.” He suddenly ordered, making your eyes widen. When he stared at you, giving you a warning gaze, you scrambled off his lap to remove them. He started unbuckling his belt, then opening his pants. When he took out his cock, your breath caught in your throat. Where is that supposed to fit?
“Sit.” You tentatively got on his lap again. He sat back in the metal chair a little, dragging his eyes down your body. “Put it in.” You swallowed and looked between his face and his length, feeling your heart start pounding even harder. “Now.” Biting your trembling lip, you grabbed his cock and put it at the right angle, then slowly and apprehensively lowered yourself onto it. You whimpered when he first breached your opening, immediately feeling the burn of the stretch. 
“You won’t like it if I have to take over so I suggest you do better than this.” He warned and you whined in response, but forced yourself down lower. 
“It hurts, Dr. Crane.” You whimpered, hoping for sympathy from the cold, apathetic doctor. 
“Enough.” He growled, grabbing your hips and lifting you off of him. He stood and spun you around to push your torso onto the cold metal table with a hand on the back of your neck. Holding you down firmly, he pushed his cock back in, this time going all the way. You cried out and scrambled for purchase on the table as he immediately started thrusting. 
“W-wait, Dr. Crane..” You choked out, the burning stretch bringing tears to your eyes. Not bothering with replying, he removed the hand from your neck and you heard clothes rustling, then he was putting his tie between your lips and wrapping it around your head to secure it. Almost instantly those feelings flared up again. Your chest heaved as you panted, trying to ignore how much it was hurting from your heart beating so fast and hard. 
He put his hand on your head this time, forcing your cheek onto the cold metal as he held you down and started moving faster. You sobbed out a moan and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to focus on calming down but everything was just so much. 
“Is this what you needed? Have you been playing the role of the dumb little patient this whole time just to get me to fuck you?” You tried to shake your head, but you couldn’t move it under his hand. “I can feel you pulsing around my cock. Is it really that good?” The way he was mocking you had you squeezing your thighs together, but he couldn’t have that. He lifted one of your legs and placed it on the table, keeping you from getting any real stimulation on your clit besides his balls smacking against it with every thrust. 
“Please!” You cried, the word being muffled by the tie. 
“I know. You’re probably so eager to come right now, aren’t you?” You did your best to nod, despite him holding you down. “Is the thought of finally getting bred making you all needy?” He asked condescendingly and you let out a strangled whimper. “Should I let you come on my cock?” 
“Yes!” You yelled, trying to make it sound coherent through the gag. He released your head and grabbed your shoulders, starting a brutal pace that made you almost scream from the intensity. The table was screeching against the floor with each thrust and you could start to hear his quiet grunts as he neared his orgasm.
“Go ahead then. Show me how needy this pathetic little cunt is for my cock.” He said and, despite the degrading words, you almost cried in relief. You’ve only made yourself come maybe a handful of times since being admitted to Arkham, so it did not take much longer for you to get there. You all but screamed around the gag when it hit you, making your legs turn to jelly. His thrusts didn’t even waiver, but you could hear groans coming from him. Wave after wave of pleasure washed through you, so intense that it bordered on painful. 
When it was finally done, you sagged into the table, but your body immediately went stiff when the overstimulation kicked in. You cried out and squirmed, trying to escape it, so he grabbed your hair and yanked you up, wrapping his other arm around your stomach. 
“I know.” He pulled your head back until it was resting on his shoulder, then turned it so your face was up against his neck. “Just breathe through it.” But you couldn’t. Everything was just too much. You sobbed loudly and buried your face in the crook of his neck as he fucked you, moving both hands down to grab your hips. 
“Just be a good girl and take it. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? To be fucked and bred like a bitch in heat.” You let out a strangled sob at the degrading words. “No… It’s what you needed.” He growled, making you whimper. “Don’t worry, we’re going to keep doing this until I finally fuck a baby into you. Maybe then you’ll be less cock hungry. But we’ll probably have to keep this up while you’re pregnant because of all the hormones.” After your orgasm, everything your body was going through started to feel like it was from fear again, rather than arousal. His words were making you spiral into overthinking. You can’t have a baby yet— you’re too young. And also there’s the fact that you’re in an asylum… 
“And I think… I might make you my little lab rat. You respond so well to such a small dose, I’m eager to see how you’ll react to something more potent.” Now you were truly confused, but you were also too fucked out and overstimulated to try and understand. “God— that’ll be a fucking sight.” He choked out, rutting into you more frantically. Tears started streaming down your cheeks as he kept fucking you, getting more painful with every thrust. But based on the way his sounds kept getting louder, you knew it’d be over any second now.  
You cried out when he roughly snapped his hips into you and stayed there, wrapping his arms around your torso to keep you close and letting out a low groan. His hips bucked forward with every spurt of come that left his cock, despite the fact that he was already completely inside, pressed up against your cervix uncomfortably. Even after his orgasm ended, he remained buried inside you, keeping you plugged up for now.  
“That’s better, isn’t it? Now you’re nice and full.” He spoke softly, turning his head to kiss your neck as his hand rubbed over your lower stomach. “Mm… I can’t wait to see your belly all big and round— your tits swollen with milk. You’re going to look so beautiful.” Even though everything calmed down, you still felt anxious and scared. “And I’m sure once that kid is out, you’ll go back to being a brainless little bitch in heat so I’ll have to fuck another one into you.” You let out a weak sound, unable to do anything else. Your whole body was shaking. With how you were currently feeling, his words sounded like a threat. 
“Still can’t use that pretty head?” He asked curiously. You didn’t answer, but it didn’t seem like he expected you to. “You must need more, then.” You whined at the thought. He gently pushed your torso back onto the table and you hissed in pain when he dragged his cock out. When his come trickled out, he cursed under his breath. Using his thumbs, he spread your puffy, abused folds, giving him a better view of your gaping hole. You flinched when he used his fingers to scoop up his come and push it back in. “Lucky for you, I cleared the rest of my schedule today just for this session, so I can keep giving you load after load until you drain my balls completely. Maybe then you’ll actually be able to fucking think.” 
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halsteadlover · 11 months ago
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𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐳𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐬?
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*Gifs not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Female!Reader.
• Requested: no.
• Summary: you and Hotch have occasional rendezvous but each time you promise it’ll be the last even if neither of you seems to be able to stop.
• Warnings: smut, unprotected sex (don’t be like them you guys wrap it if you want to use it!!!), cursing, dirty talk, oral sex m. receiving, basically porn with no plot lol
• Word count: 1824.
• A/N: PLEASE READ THIS ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+ MINORS STAY AWAY. I hope you like this, let me know what you think. Comment, reblog and like if you want and as always thank you so much for your support.
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“Oh fuck Hotch you feel so good…-” you moaned loudly as you kept riding him on his chair. Your shaking thighs burned, your aching knees pressing against on his chair as his dick thrusted deeper and deeper inside you.
His hands were gripping your hips as he accompanied your movements, grunting and trying to remain silent while his fingers pressed against your skin so hard they left marks on it.
He let go of your hip and covered your mouth when another groan escaped your lips, making your moans become just muffled sighs. “Shut up, you don't want them to hear us do you?”.
You shook your head, biting into his palm as you placed your hands on the arms of his chair for support while letting yourself get rocked by the immense pleasure he was giving you.
It was a mistake.
You knew it was.
But God what a beautiful mistake.
You couldn't help it.
Since the day you and Hotch ended up in bed one night after a case and a few drinks, you didn’t stop having these rendezvous, neither of you could help it. Every time you promised yourselves it’d be the last, but it was enough to find yourselves close, or your eyes to meet during the discussion of a case, or for some reason his hand to casually caress yours to break this promise.
You were just like a drug for each other. From that first dose you had that night, you could no longer go without that feeling of euphoria and pure ecstasy the sex gave you.
Aaron Hotchner was the most sinful thought that crossed your mind, the forbidden thing you always craved and God did you love it.
Maybe it was the fact you were a BAU agent and he was your boss, maybe it was the thrill of being discovered, maybe it was the taste of the forbidden – hell, what would the FBI have said if they knew the upright boss of the behavioral analysis unit was breaking the rules that he himself continually reiterated to his agents?
This, however, didn't stop either of you, indeed it was as if all this was fuel thrown on the fire, passion and desire you already felt.
At first you both managed to keep that passion at bay, having occasional sex in hotel rooms when you were out of town for a case. But the more time passed, the more difficult it became to suppress everything, to hide that you wanted to rip each other’s clothes off every minute of the day.
And that's why you found yourself in his office that evening, fucking near his desk while there were still some colleagues still in the bullpen.
“God I've been thinking about you and this damn skirt all day… Fuck… You’re irresistible,” he muttered, his eyes scanning your figure sitting on him as his dick fucked your wet pussy.
He was completely mesmerized.
Your skirt was rolled up around your hips, the sheer black stockings you were wearing until recently had been ripped by Hotch in the heat of passion, your panties were thrown to the floor, your shirt unbuttoned and your bra moved as your breasts popped out and bounced to the rhythm of your motion.
You looked like a fucking goddess.
The walls of your pussy started to clench around his dick, making him twitch inside you, your hips stuttering as you felt your orgasm building more and more. It was as if your body was going through convulsions and you couldn't control it, you just wanted and desired that intense pleasure that only Aaron Hotchner was able to give you.
He wrapped his lips around your breast, sucking and licking your nipple as you threaded your hands into his hair and pulled it. You bit your lower lip in an attempt to keep at bay the moans and gasps you was struggling to keep quiet.
“Just like that, oh yeah just like that you feel so good Hotch,” you whispered in a gasp, rolling your eyes and head back. His tongue licked your skin, from your breasts, then moving up your collarbone to your neck, kissing and sucking your skin until he left a mark.
Hotchner wasn't one for hickeys, he wasn't one for office sex in the workplace, he wasn't one for quickies, he wasn't one to break the rules that he himself had set but you managed to break down every single part of his barrier, you managed making him lose control in a way that he loved and hated at the same time, you managed to unleash emotions in him that he had never even felt in his life.
You were hurricane.
You were storm.
You were addiction.
And he couldn't get enough of you, never.
“Shit, fuck,” he cursed, biting and licking the skin of your shoulder as his thumb began drawing imaginary circles on your clit making your muscles tense even more and your movements more erratic. You almost had a heart attack from the intense pleasure that flowed through your veins. “God princess you ruin me.”
A breathtaking orgasm hit over you without any other warning like a raging river, making you dizzy and see stars. Your vision went blurry for a few moments, making you even forget you were in your boss' office and someone could actually hear you.
You tried to catch your breath but at that very moment there was a knock on the door, making both you and Hotch freeze in place, his hard dick still inside you. You exchanged a panicked look.
“Just one second.” Aaron had responded after clearing his throat and then continuing talking to you in a whisper, “Get under the desk.”
You nodded and lifted yourself off his legs, which had turned to jelly as you bent down and picked up your panties. You settled under the desk between his legs while he quickly tried to fix his hair and button up his shirt. He stood up and put on his pants, leaving them loose without bringing them up to his hips.
“Come in.”
Your heart was beating so wildly you could hear the pounding in your ears. You stayed paralyzed under the desk, too afraid to even breathe.
The door opened and you recognized Agent Anderson's voice. “I brought the Porters' case report from five days ago Agent Hotchner.”
He nodded, his expression completely serious and professional as he pretended to fill out a file he didn't even remember at the moment.
“Thank you Agent Anderson, leave it on my desk.”
Despite the fear of being discovered, however, you couldn't contain your excitement and the thought of driving him crazy couldn't leave your mind. You placed a hand on his inner thigh, trailing your fingers along his crotch with sensuality.
Aaron almost had a heart attack when you quietly pulled his underwear off enough for his dick to pop out again, still wet and damp from your fluids and you wrapped your hand around it, starting to jerk him off with slow, controlled pace.
“Agent Hotchner there was a thing about this case I wanted to ask you about…” Agent Anderson had asked.
Are you fucking kidding me right now?
Hotch nodded and pointed to the chair in front of his desk, his lips pressed together because he was afraid if he opened them only moans would come out.
Your hand increased its speed and Hotch let out a deep sigh as he leaned back in his chair, about to have a heart attack right then and now.
He looked at Anderson, he heard him talking but his brain couldn't process a single word he was saying, too focused on trying to keep a serious expression and not let on that there was a woman under his desk who was masturbating him.
But the final blow came when you wrapped your lips around his dick, taking it all in your mouth and tasting yourself on it. He let out a small moan which immediately covered with a cough, thanking god Anderson was too caught up in whatever he was saying to notice.
His hand reached below the desk and into your hair, pulling it harshly and making you almost moan at the sensation. This caused you to pick up your pace and Hotch didn't know whether to hate you or not at that moment.
He wanted you to stop.
But also for you to keep going because that fucking mouth of yours was pure ecstasy.
“Are you okay, agent Hotchner?” Anderson stopped at a certain point, noticing the way Hotchner continued to move in his chair and the blush on his cheeks.
“Y-yes, I apologize...” Hotch breathed out. “Lord,” he almost let out a groan which he tried to mask with another cough. “I’m not feeling very well these days. C-can…” he stopped again, swallowing another moan. “We’ll talk about t-this tomorrow Anderson. Excuse me.”
You couldn’t help but smirk to yourself, feeling victorious for making the always-so-serious SSA Aaron Hotchner a complete mess.
His thighs started to shake, his fingers still pulling your hair as you licked his dick, leaving a long string of saliva on his tip. You wrapped your lips around him again and a hand around the base, jerking him off while simultaneously taking it in your mouth. Your other hand rested on his thigh, pressing your nails on his hot skin.
Your mouth felt like heaven and it didn't take long for the orgasm to start building again after it was interrupted.
“Oh yes of course, I'm sorry. Get well soon then, g-good night agent Hotchner.” Anderson replied and jumped to his feet before mumbling some more nonsense and exiting the office, closing the door behind him.
Hotch let out a particularly deep sigh and rested his head on the edge of his chair as he continued to mercilessly fuck your mouth.
“You fucking little slut, you really can't help yourself huh?” He groaned, looking back at you. His grip around your hair tightened, forcing your head down and making you gag. “My needy little whore, look at you chocking on my dick… Fuck you’re gonna make me come.”
How could he make such derogatory names so damn sexy?
It didn't take long for Hotch to explode into an intense orgasm inside your mouth, not letting your head go until he watched you swallow every single damn drop of his cum.
He exhaustedly leaned back in his chair, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he waited for his breathing to calm down.
He took your hands and helped you out from under the desk, letting you sit on his lap and kissing you until taking your breath.
He gave you a sweet little kiss on your forehead, caressing your cheek with a thumb, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear. “You'll be the death of me sooner or later, agent Y/Ln.”
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rxzennia · 6 months ago
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rare critters
– tales of the voracity pathstrider
✎𓂃 a healthy dose of curiosity (ft. dr ratio) yall if i have to write another report i think i might kms sorry im 3 days late lol i was busy making concept art 
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when dr ratio somehow acquired a few rare critters from herta space station, he thought of one person:
aventurine.
if he’s so bad at looking after himself, maybe he could take care of something else instead. and these cat cakes are pretty tame and adorable… seems just right for him.
ratio sent a text to let aventurine know he’s coming to drop off some souvenirs
said souvenirs being these critters
ratio has one on top of his head and two in one arm as he rings the bell
it’s sometime in the afternoon, and you’re not around
(you’re attending a meeting on aventurine’s behalf so he can have a longer lunch break)
(you do that pretty often, actually. that’s why your boss can have entire afternoons or evenings to himself)
nothing would’ve prepared ratio for what he sees when aventurine opens the door
one, no, two? no, three?? faceless serpents slithering around his feet
and one really huge one around his neck???
their maws, aeons, their maws. as stunned as ratio is, he’s also scared shitless
they remind him of a certain aeon and he isn’t sure if he liked the implications
though, that aeon has long since disappeared…
the very moment the serpents sniffed something in the air, they’re all right up in ratio’s face
the trash cakes are definitely scared shitless
they’re quivering and whimpering
ratio is trying so hard to hide his unease
“since when did you have pets, gambler?”
“oh, they’re my assistant’s – don’t bite, please.”
and these dangerous, dangerous noodles listened???
they backed off obediently while still scenting the air again and again
at least they’re not one hair away from ratio anymore?
wait, more importantly…
“you’re living with your assistant?” ratio can’t help but ask. “and… they brought their pets over?”
technically, the slithery creatures around the house aren’t your pets, they’re literally parts of you, but does aventurine want to get into the details? not particularly.
“doctor, it’d be heartless of me to tell them to leave their pets,” aventurine chuckled, “it’s a long story. are these…?”
“i thought pets would do you some good. seems like your assistant has the same idea.” ratio passes the three cakes over to him. “here – from the space station.”
aventurine tells the especially thick leviathan on his neck to get off so he could hold the trash cakes
more like patting its body a few times until it got the signal and slid off of him
the cakes like him!
once he’s passed the sniff test, the cakes are all over him
they do remind him of someone, with those yellow eyes and grey… trash can(?) like body…
he holds them carefully, because unlike your creatures, he needs to hold onto these little guys
else they’d fall
invites ratio in while he’s at it, and he sits down to properly examine them
ratio watches aventurine for a moment, until your serpents catch his attention
oh, he’s so unnerved by them, but also…
he’s so curious! his scholarly senses are telling him to seize the opportunity!
are they really the same creatures as the ones depicted in the scriptures for oroboros?
how did aventurine get his hands on them? or rather, how did you get your hands on them?
and why are they so, so… docile, if they are really what he thinks they are?
what have you done!? how did you get them to be your pets?
his academic interest in you might have just skyrocketed
he engages in a staring contest with a creature with no eyes
somehow, somehow he just knows it’s a staring contest
he’s debating between approaching or not
they look like they would snap his neck before he could even react
“don’t try it, doctor,” aventurine warns, reading ratio’s actions from a mile away, “they’ll probably bite.”
“huh…” ratio makes a sound of pure wonder as he stands still, staring at the few noodles slithering over each other and scenting the air around him. “how did you tame them, then?”
“i didn’t.” aventurine shrugs as he plays with the new critters in his arms. “just sit tight, my assistant should be back soon.”
does that mean you’re the one deciding who gets to touch your serpents and who doesn't???
meanwhile aventurine has taken to the cakes from the space station
they’re so delicate and adorable, with their huge eyes and how stretchy they are
such a contrast to your huge serpents
your serpents are curious about them too, it seems
they keep trying to slither up aventurine’s legs
he has to keep pushing them down, all the while their maws opened and closed
trying to get a feel for the taste of these critters
not trying to outright eat them, just trying to get a taste
ratio is itching to just… grab one of your noodles
he can’t
how devastating
just then, the door opens with a click
“i’m home, aven.” you enter and practically throws your shoes off. 
the sudden need to retain some semblance of formality in your home feels foreign to you now, but you’ve sensed someone else’s presence. it can’t be helped, even if the name aven feels odd on your tongue.
weird, aventurine usually runs out the moment he hears you
when you made your way to the living room, you see him and… some random guy?
said random guy looks like he’s into greek mythology?
is he like zeus or something
no, more like male athena or something
“oh, welcome back!” aventurine perks up as he lifts one of the cakes and shows it to you like a proud parent. “look at these little guys!”
your eyes never quite look away from the stranger, but you also dazedly take the critter into your arms. “this is…”
you immediately catch ratio’s eye – the way you carry yourself, the way the ends of your scarf seem to move on their own, and the way the few serpents find their way up your neck without so much as trying to touch the cake in your hands (even though they’ve been trying to taste it when it was in aventurine’s arms).
“veritas ratio.” he stands up before aventurine could introduce him and offers you a handshake. “you might know me as dr ratio of the intelligentsia guild.”
you stare at him without much of a reaction
his hand stays outstretched as he watches you expectantly
after a few seconds, you give his hand a firm shake and introduce yourself
you do know him, actually, you’ve read a few of his works
you quite liked his takes on philosophy and natural theology
he’s very insightful for a mortal
“can i help you?” you ask, because you don’t think ratio would bother talking to you if he hadn't been curious about something.
“your pets are most fascinating,” he gets straight to the point, “may i examine them?”
???
your pets?
the serpents? 
you look to aventurine, who just turns away like he didn’t tell ratio those are your pets
you pinch the bridge of your nose and exhales exasperatedly
then again, perhaps calling them your pets is the best course of action right now
because the other option is spilling the beans about yourself
yeah
so… nice save, aventurine
you set down the critter in your arms on a nearby table and turn to face the doctor
“here.” you pick up one of your leviathans and guide it over to ratio. “they might do… things around you, but they won’t hurt you.”
ratio tries not to flinch when the heavy leviathan slither up his arm and coil around his neck loosely, but he winces and backs away slightly anyway. “how are you so certain?” he watches the creature with so much wonder as it scents him, then lifts its head so he can stare at it properly. or the other way around; so it can stare at him properly. who knows.
a healthy dose of cynicism is always good
it’s not like you don’t understand where he’s coming from
you shrug, because you really have no better answer without outing yourself
“i have them trained.” you say, but at this point you’re just pulling shit out of your ass
aventurine immediately covers his mouth to hide a snort
you shoot him a quick glare
you run a hand along its smooth body to show ratio that yes, he can touch them
its maw opens a little wider and drools a little onto the carpet
ratio carefully puts his hand on top of its head
it turns its head on contact and nudges against his hand
trying to scent the thing touching it (aka ratio’s hand)
but it doesn’t do anything other than what appears to be purely harmless scenting
could this possibly be the subject of his next paper?
“don’t think about it, doctor.” you cut him off the moment you see the telltale glint of academic interest in his eyes. 
“i must disagree; they are of leviathan descent, are they not?” ratio asks, now caressing the big noodle with both hands and handling it with less hesitation than before, “this is of utmost significance; they might shed some light on the mystery of oroboros the voracity.”
you narrow your eyes at ratio
he doesn’t even try to prod around the subject, he just hits you in the face with it
as expected of such an erudite scholar, but still
(aventurine is watching the interaction with much interest while he plays with the cats)
(it’s like he’s enjoying the show)
(the remaining free serpents of yours has coiled up by his feet and fallen asleep)
(since they’ve realized aventurine doesn’t want them near the cakes)
you don’t want to bring too much attention to yourself, or your serpents
you don’t want things about oroboros to spread, either
in fact, you’re quite thankful to the enigmata and the ipc for heavily censoring them 
“with all due respect, i refuse.” you do not allow any room for disagreement. “you are prepared to uncover the truth. is the rest of the cosmos ready?”
that’s not all of your argument, but the one you determine would be enough to keep ratio from conducting and publishing research about leviathans for now. oh, right – you’re not against ratio’s curiosity. you simply don’t want that curiosity to spread far and wide.
ratio frowns, not expecting such a swift rejection from you, but you do have a point. he’s a little blinded by his excitement.
your rejection sounds a little personal, if aventurine may say so himself
to ratio, it is very much just you being overprotective of your pets
as all pet owners do
to be fair, it’s hard to say. ratio is a sharp man
you stare at him, and he stares at you
the leviathan hanging on his neck tilts its head in confusion
if ratio is anything, he’s persistent
especially when it comes to knowledge
he opens his mouth to try to convince you again
you beat him to it and raise a hand to stop him from talking. “you can examine them for as long as you do not make publications.”
ratio is taken aback, his brows furrowing as you give him permission for further interaction with these descendants of ancient leviathans. this is your first meeting, so why –
in fact, aventurine is wondering the same thing
like, why are you getting along with the doctor so well when you’ve only met today
he’s not jealous or anything, he just has a huge question mark on your reactions
you’re usually very, very guarded against people who ask questions
especially about your scarf
but then ratio did see your serpents slithering around
perhaps you see no way of weaselling your way out of this?
anyway
if we’re being honest, ratio also has a huge question mark on your reactions
“i am a fan of your philosophical works,” you say, guiding your serpent back around you, “hence i am willing to satisfy your curiosity… provided you agree to my terms. think of it as an invitation.”
ratio takes a moment to mull over your words. to think that someone under the ipc has read multiple of his works, and has enjoyed them… is that why you are willing to compromise? but, well… you give him a feeling of a learned person. perhaps he will enjoy debating you.
“very well, that is good enough.” he nods, even if he still feels just a little bit disappointed, he’s anticipating a good back-and-forth with you already. “in that case…”
“i will let you know when i am free.” you sit down next to aventurine and let the critters on his lap crawl over to you and knead your thigh with their little paws. “and, doctor?”
it’s apparent to you that ratio has the same thought as you did when you decided to let your serpents drop their disguises at home. you glance towards aventurine next to you, then back at the doctor.
“thanks for the critters.”
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