#don’t get me wrong i’m still 100% gonna watch the new episodes as they come out

[your-sweet-babboo]

kind of miss when clone high only had season 1

[lovesosweeet]

better left unsaid // cth

chapter thirty seven

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

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november 10, 2018 san diego, california orion

Since finding out there’s no hope… I’ve had no hope. Everyone else has had to come to terms with my defeat. They all had shit to say to me, trying to convince me to at least read about the trials that Dr. Gupta suggested, but I didn’t want to. 

I don’t want to keep being poked and prodded and nauseous and aching constantly. I’d rather just be somewhat miserable at home as I inevitably wither away. I want to sleep in my own bed and stay out of the bleach scented hospital I’d spend more time in if I did a trial.

Everyone is trying to cheer me up. Macy and Emelia take turns coming down and staying with me during the day while my moms are at work. I tell them they don’t need to, but everyone insists I have someone with me all the time just in case something goes wrong. I feel bad because they have to drive at least two hours each way every time they come. Macy isn’t in school right now so she doesn’t really need to be in LA for anything, so she stays two days at a time, but Emelia is finishing out her semester and has a full load of classes.

They all say they’re just happy to spend time with me, which may be true, but I hate how much I’m ruining everyone’s lives. Emelia is even planning on spending her whole Thanksgiving break with me, rather than with her family in Seattle, and I feel horrible that her family won’t get to spend Thanksgiving with her.

Today is Macy’s day. We’ve been spending the days that she’s here watching the entirety of Gilmore Girls. We’re somehow still only on the third season. The episode we’re on is featuring Rory on a walk through a park that’s covered in orange and red fall foliage, which I’ve really not experienced much of in my life given where I live. 

“Cal and I always talked about going to New England in the fall sometime.”

Macy’s head snaps toward me. She looks shocked.

“What?” I ask.

“You haven’t talked about him, like, at all, since you broke up.”

“Yes I have!”

“You’ve tried to justify breaking up with him several times, but you haven’t said anything about him, really. Y’know?” 

“I have talked about him!” I’ve thought about him every hour of every day and have creeped on him via his fans on Twitter every single day and constantly check his Instagram to see if he’s posted anything. He’s still at the center of my life. 

“Orion, I spend so much time with you and have seen you stalking him on Twitter, but you have not truly said a word about him.” 

My cheeks flush as she mentions my Twitter activity.

“You’re allowed to miss him, you know.”

I look down at my hands, fiddling with the rings I’m wearing. I already feel my eyes watering. “I miss him so much, Mace.” 

Macy places a hand on my arm and squeezes it. “I’m 100% certain if you called him, he’d pick up.” 

I shake my head, feeling a few tears start to fall. “I can’t call him.”

She sighs. “You miss him. He misses you.”

“No, Macy, I can’t call him. I can’t.” 

“O, they’re on the Europe leg. You could go back to where it all started.” 

I shake my head again. “I’m terrified of having to see his face fall as I die. It’s going to hurt so bad.”

Macy hugs me then, wrapping her arms around me, but my hands stay on my lap, still twisting my rings around. “He wants to love you, Orion, he won’t see it as watching you die.” 

“I can’t do it. I can’t let him watch,” I say as I stand up. “I’m gonna go take a nap. I’m feeling kinda shitty today.”

I walk upstairs to my bedroom and collapse on the bed, sobs shaking my whole body. 

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[reddevilproductions]

ANIMANIACS(2020) SEASON 3 EPISODE 8

SPOILERS AHEAD

Alright I’ve seen a LOT of controversy about the beginning of this episode. And I’d like to address it with my own thoughts. I don’t doubt I will get backlash for this, it’s the internet, you get backlash for everything. But I still have a right to an opinion and I’m making the choice to share it so I’m accepting the consequences that come with that decision.

If you haven’t seen this episode yet, I’ll give the gist of what happens.

Specifically the “problem” is the little bit where Yakko and Dot are ragging on their brother. Wakko is so hyperfocused on his game that he is completely oblivious to the world around him.

They make comments on how “the animators could only afford to animate the two BEST siblings”. They dramatically go in about it how they “mourn the loss” of their brother, then immediately move on. They start to plan their own duo plot before Wakko is shaken back into reality. To which they respond with monotone and sarcastic phrases like “oh great Wakko’s back”. As if they weren’t pleased to see him.

I’ve seen people absolutely furious over this. Comparing it to a 90s episode where Wakko was about to be taken by Death and his siblings risked their own lives to fight for him back. Begging on their knees to not have their brother taken away.

Which is a both a wholesome and comical episode to enjoy but I will argue that these two situations are NOT the same. That was the actual DEATH practically knocking on their door. You can’t blame them for getting bent out of shape.

This was Wakko just laser focused on a video game he was enjoying. He’s been shown in the reboot to be more drawn to the different types of technologies and is often seen playing around on them. This type of situation most likely isn’t new to Yakko and Dot.

And I guess I will have to be the one to say it, THIS is the reality of siblings. They aren’t going to be wholesome 100% of the time. This is one of the reasons I really enjoy the reboot, it seems to show that side of having brothers and sisters more so than the 90s show.

Personally, I have 4 siblings. I also take the role as the oldest. And seeing this sketch genuinely made me laugh so hard because it sounded exactly like a situation me and my own siblings would be in. It made them laugh too for the same reason. My little sister went “that’s us!” while giggling about it.

Siblings aren’t always going to be kind to eachother. They will taunt and tease and make claims or argue about who the favorites really are. They’re going to find quirks about eachother odd. There will be some times they’ll act unenthusiastic about you being there. That does NOT mean you don’t care about eachother. Behind everything, the love is still there and it always will be.

I’ll make up dramatics and taunts in regards to my siblings, they’ll shoot them right back at me. There have been times where a few will gang up on another one in their antics. Sometimes you are left out of activities.

But the love never ever goes away. I would do anything for my siblings, I will never stop loving and caring about them. There will be wholesome moments of us playing games, giving hugs and affectionate noogies, or watching cartoons, like Animaniacs, together. But the teasing is always gonna be apart of the dynamic. It’s not bad, it’s normal and we know not to go to far. We apologize when someone is genuinely and seriously hurt.

In my eyes, in my siblings eyes too, Yakko and Dot did nothing wrong. This is almost top tier brother and sister behavior. I know from experiencing it myself.

This segment or reboot as a whole does not take away any other aspect of their previous relationship whatsoever. They are still shown to be extremely kind, protective and loving towards eachother. That part never changed, you just need to accept the good parts with the bad ones. And they’re not necessarily bad parts either.

I cannot stress this enough

It’s

Just

Siblings

And I love how that is portrayed in this series. It really hit close to home and despite all the controversy, I’d say the writers did an excellent job.

[x0401x]

Olá! What did you think of Tsurune episode 4?

Heya!

I have a few conflicting feelings about this episode but it was enjoyable overall. We’re still on the 100% original content spectrum and my guess is that it’s gonna be like that for the rest of the season. It’s weird to navigate through the anime and seeing the characters being so obviously not themselves and the story not having as much emotion, intensity or meaning as the original, but it’s easier to deal with this whenever KyoAni shows clear signs that they understand what they’ve done wrong in S1 and are trying to fix it within their possibilities.

For example, I’ve already pointed this out before, but I love the amount of facial expressions and personality traits we’re getting from Minato this time around. On each episode he shows more of himself and we get to see characteristics other than his most basic defining qualities, which is that he’s a serene and serious kid. He can be that and also be a clumsy, unripe airhead. Those are concepts that can and should coexist.

I also love that the girls keep receiving more screen-time and are being treated as part of the club with interests and progress of their own in kyudo, instead of just being in the background. Honorable mention to Seiya being allowed to act like the competent club president that he is, too. I really like the hints that, although he’s concerned about Minato on main, he’s looking out for everybody.

But speaking of looking out, I still find the way that KyoAni treats Masaki to be quite unpalatable. I’m glad that what I’d anticipated from the previous episode (that at some point Minato was gonna realize what Masaki was on about and everything would work out in the end) did happen, but it’s how it happened that bothers me. The episode basically starts out with Masaki overwhelming Minato with a shitload of information on what he has to fix like some nagging nanny. Meanwhile, Seiya has the brilliant idea to record everyone’s shots on video so that they can watch and compare in order to pinpoint exactly what was wrong during the match. Once again, as per usual, Masaki is relegated to a position of side character while Seiya saves the day. So far, this is the only thing I don’t see changing from S1. KyoAni keeps trying to make this story be about the Kazemai boys’ team first and foremost, and everyone else is secondary.

Don’t get me wrong; Seiya is my second favorite character in the books and I totally dig seeing him get a lot of attention, even with the anime version of him being a complete disaster to me. What I don’t like is that KyoAni is still trying real hard to push Seiya onto the same level as Masaki and Shuu, and in doing this, they end up reducing Masaki and Shuu to mere fractions of what they are in canon. Anime!Seiya is basically filling up for the lack of them – especially the lack of Masaki, and in that process, a good chunk of his role is being given to Seiya.

At this point in the novel, we were supposed to have Shuu coming to Kazemai to train because of the bet he’d made with Tomio, in which Kazemai and Kirisaki were essentially fighting for Masaki without anyone knowing except for the three of them. All because Shuu was jealous as fuck of the way Minato only has eyes for Masaki, thus pulling off the most “what is it he has that I don’t” move ever. Fast forward to Shuu and everyone else getting to touch Masaki but Minato can’t. Cue Minato being outraged by this bullshit, and that’s where it’s implied kyudo is in second plan to him. The main reason why he’s so mad about being banned from the dojo is that everyone gets to have new teachings from Masaki but he doesn’t. And then we have all that ridiculous pinning, Minato buying cinnamon buns for Masaki even though he can’t give them to him, Minato calling Masaki an idiot, Masaki pinching Minato’s cheeks, the car scene, Minato just straight-up admitting that he wants Masaki only for himself and having to hold himself back from crossing the line, them training in the dojo at night and eating oyaki together.

Just… nah. Can’t have that shit in the anime. Too damn gay for TV.

So what we get instead is Masaki being thrown to the side most of the time and interacting with Minato as little as possible, and the one who fills up that hole is Seiya. Similarly, with Seiya busy babysitting Minato, Nanao is making up for the lack of Seiya in Kaito’s life. Seiya’s main relationships in the novel are with Minato and Kaito, and Kaito’s conflicts and character development are directly tied to Seiya. Without Seiya there, it’s Nanao who has to replace him. Instead of Kaito’s dilemma about wanting Seiya to share his burdens and rely more on him, we have Nanao being mad at Kaito for wanting to take on everyone’s burdens on his own just because he’s the oomae. This one was quite amusing to me not just because I was already expecting it ever since the PV, but also because it’s a crystal-clear example of KyoAni’s approach in adapting Tsurune. It’s all a game of “Oh, so this character has strong feelings towards this other specific character that are inexplicable from a strictly platonic viewpoint? Well, just make it be about the whole team instead”.

On the topic of “make it about the whole team”, it’s dawned on me why KyoAni changed the reason for Minato’s fuck-up in the last tournament. In the novel, this was more of a spiritual thing. Kyudo is a zen practice, and as such, one has to do it with a clear mind and pure heart. In this scene, Minato’s heart and mind were anything but clear and pure. After Eisuke talks shit about Shuu right before the match, Minato is understandably pissed off, which is what disturbs his shots, even more than his injury. He didn’t want someone like Eisuke to win. But perhaps this isn’t something that viewers who have no experience in kyudo would be able to perceive. For most people, an archery tournament is a tournament like any other and wanting to win is probably just what you’d expect from the archers. Without the novel’s text explaining why this isn’t the case, the message most likely wouldn’t get through to a good portion of the people watching. I assume that’s why KyoAni chose to go for a more common sense route here. They made Minato focus too much on himself and not think about the proverbial team play and harmony that Japanese people are so familiar with. The result? His mistake affects everyone else. That way, it’s easy for an average Japanese to tell how and why Minato messed up back there.

I also dare say that going for this route is more in line with how KyoAni is trying to portray Eisuke and Tsujimine. In the novel, they were depicted as a team that, sure, has a lot of disadvantages in comparison to everyone else, but no one should underestimate them for it. They’re strong and they’re there to prove it. In the anime, though, they’re being treated like underdogs. It’s no secret to anyone that KyoAni banks off teams and character merch. More relatability is always their thing. Every character and every team has to make it into the viewers’ hearts somehow. So this Tsujimine is full of nice little guys who just wanna take the big prize for a Greater Cause TM (as in, better conditions for their club), and Eisuke is a hardworking boy who takes on a lot more responsability than he should because he doesn’t want to owe anything to anyone.

Nothing wrong with that per se, except that it strikes me as kinda contradictory. Novel!Eisuke is bitter. He’s bitter about his situation, he’s bitter that his former kouhai have more natural talent than he does and he’s bitter that they’re blessed with a better environment than him. He’s skilled and he loves archery, but he’s not in the right state of mind or spirit, and that’s why he loses. He’s still relatable, but his unsuccessfulness is to be expected, and most importantly, to be welcomed. As for anime!Eisuke, although his jealousy towards Minato and Shuu is clearly there, it’s very toned down and only noticeable in punctual moments, and it’s not presented as his main trait. It doesn’t seem like enough of a justification for his failures, unless KyoAni has something else up their sleeve. Another contradiction is that anime!Eisuke doesn’t want to be in debt with anybody, yet he keeps asking his uncle to give advice on his team all the time and he wanted Saionji to be his master in the past.

There’s also Koushirou. He still makes digs at Eisuke every now and then just like his canon self, but they’re not constantly at each other’s throats and they kinda seem like partners here? It’s actually funny to watch.

Anyway, these are my thoughts on episode 4. I keep getting these “we could’ve had it all” vibes. It’s not something that can be helped. Just gotta live with it, lol.

[harapeveco]

miss harapeveco since we are in the topic of anime pls drop some recommendations I don’t have anything to watch 

Omg oks so I have a very shitty taste in anime so this will be a very disappointing list but the ones I mostly recommend are:

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun: literally every scene is funny and iconic, it also invented m/f yaoi don’t ask it makes sense

Owari no Seraph: I mean this very unironically this anime fucking sucks but in a good way like nothing is ever explained, nothing makes sense and they gaslight you into believing the main boys are gonna be endgame by showing you a homoerotic scene of blood drinking. Just roll with it and don’t ask questions it’s better that way

The Persona 3 movies and the Persona 4/5 anime: the movies are really good they did a good job condensing +80 hours of gameplay in 4 movies (except the third movie but we don’t talk about that). Now when it comes to the persona 4 anime you can tell they didn’t give a shit that thing is just 24 episodes full of jokes and comedy the game wishes it had holy shit it’s really funny for no reason. The persona 5 anime is more complex in the sense that it’s very unwatchable if you go to it expecting something good. It’s bad it’s very bad it’s poorly animated and rushed and it’s just borderline unwatchable but it is really funny if you wanna have a good laugh about how bad something is I recommend it

Osomatsu-san: the first episode of the first season being yeeted into oblivion bc it was very much illegal to show all of it makes it worth it. Keep in mind this is an adult show (even if it doesn’t look like it) so there’s a lot of crude humor and sex jokes but all the characters are such trashy people I like to see them suffer 

Kiss him not me: if you are a shipper this one is for you. Basically the MC is a yaoi obsessed fan girl who wants to see her classmates date each other yaoinly but they want to date her instead 

ID Invaded: really good anime with a really good mystery and plot! Main character did everything wrong but I still love him also Sou did the opening for it 

Happy sugar life: very fucked up horror about a high schooler in love with a literal child but it doesn’t go like you think it goes, they don’t portray it as romantic or cute they very much portray it as the fucked up thing it is and how wrong it is. It’s good if you like feeling unsettled and like to watch things go from 0 to 100 real fast

The promised neverland: amazing series with an amazing mystery and atmosphere! It’s a shame it only has one season tho I hope they make a second season of it in the future but it’s a shame it only has one

Dr stone: it has science, it’s horny, you have over the top characters, what more do you want

Natsume book of friends: you love to cry? You wanna cry after watching every single episode? Ofc you do! This shit will hit you in the gut so hard you will never recover. A beautiful story about acceptance, platonic love, found family and yokai with the best and most realistic character development I’ve ever seen 

Gegege no Kitaro: this one is very broad bc no kidding this anime gets a new adaptation every decade. There’s a 60s version, a 70s version, an 80s version, a 90s version, a 2007 version, a 2008 version that is more adult and follows the manga and a 2018 version too if you like recent stuff more. Most of these are lost media tho good luck trying to find any version that is not the 2018 one. I forgot about the plot of it yeh uhhh basically a kid ghost is a medium between humans and yokai but he mostly play favorites with the yokai and sometimes fucks the humans over so idk if he’s really a medium, he’s very biased about it

The dangers in my heart: I talked about this one before but I’m talking about it again idc. Really cute and wholesome the MC is kinda horny but he’s like 14 boys at that age are pretty horny we have to stop pretending they aren’t. The first 3 episodes are so cringe they are very painful to watch but if you can go through them you will witness what I think it’s the cutest romance after horimiya. I don’t usually read manga bc I have the attention span of a rock but even I did a binge read of it bc it was just so good

King’s game: edgier than shadow the hedgehog 2006, it’s painfully bad like I can’t even begin to explain how horrible this anime is but good lord it made me laugh all the way through 

Chuubyo gekihatsu boy: one of the main characters is a catboy called Rei Tsukumo and another character is a cringe Utaite what more can I say? It’s just dumb cringe kids being dumb as fuck for 12 episodes and you know what? It’s very good at it

Horimiya: just watch it for the love of god just watch it

Sasaki to Miyano: you have miyano who is like “I wonder if I’m gay??? I’m not sure???” While he reads gay manga and straight up imagines himself kissing his guy friend in the mouth like bestie COME ON

Thats all the anime I can think of the top of my head, well adding anime classics like fullmetal alchemist brotherhood, haikyuu, my hero academia (I only follow it bc the Todoroki family drama is the only thing well written in it), dragon ball (not dragon ball z bc as much as I like it I prefer dragon ball and the cutesy adventure aesthetic it has) and ofc how to forget sonic x 

[theprojectrenebloggger]

Confirmed: The Sims 4 to Continue After Project Rene is Released

Lyndsay Pearson, the Vice President of The Sims franchise on EA/Maxis, was a guest on today’s Behind the Sims to talk a few details regarding the future release of Project Rene – the upcoming new title on The Sims series.

She confirmed The Sims 4 will still go on after Project Rene is released, saying that both titles “are gonna continue to exist side by side. We plan to support both at the same time and we’re gonna continue to bring even more exciting content to The Sims 4 for the foreseeable future”. Advertisement

Lyndsay also explained how they may approach new game content differently for Project Rene, mixing new free features to the base game (which is confirmed to be free at launch) as well as paid DLC.

You can watch the whole interview starting at 8:34 on the latest Behind the Sims. Project Rene, which is a working title for the next The Sims game, has no release date confirmed yet.

Behind The Sims Transcript

We have the full transcript of that interview right here. So you can read it for yourself. Lyndsay shared a lot on the upcoming game, Project Rene during Behind The Sims Episode 3. One being that Project Rene will not be a Sims 4 replacement, the two games will co exist side-by-side and both will receive regular content alongside each other for the foreseeable future.

Also, what was mention is that the next Sims game will be free to download?! This may not be too surprising, given that The Sims 4 base game is now free to play; however, this information does mark a pretty big shift in the way Maxis and EA are planning to market and sell future releases.

MERSEA: Okay, I’m super excited to have The Sims™ Queen Mother herself, Lyndsay Pearson, back today to chat with me about Project Rene and the future of The Sims™. Sul Sul, Lyndsay.

LYNDSAY: Hey, Mersea. I am very excited to be here today. And Sul Sul to our community. I am thrilled to be back and sharing what we are working on. I think it’s a really good time to be playing The Sims™.

MERSEA: 100%. Maybe it’s just the way I play, but my game really hits different each time. Can you tell us more about how your experience over the years is shaping and setting the stage for Project Rene?

LYNDSAY: Yeah, over the years, you’ve seen us introduce so many versions of Sims experiences, from The Sims™ to The Sims™ Online, The Sims™ Castaway, The Sims™ Medieval, Urbz. We’re always looking for ways to bring The Sims™ to more players and keep that charming character and creation center at the heart of what we make. What must we preserve to make this still a Sims game. And what can we do in this game that we couldn’t do before.

MERSEA: Right. During the last episode of Behind The Sims™, the team shared a look at a whole lot of work in progress with Project Rene. Is that how you’re trying to find that new vibe?

LYNDSAY: Exactly. And with Project Rene, we want to do things from the start that The Sims™ hasn’t ever done and try to do familiar things in a new way. Project Rene will be a new way to play The Sims™. Now, we’ve shared a few of those differences that we’re already exploring, such as the ability to play with friends and across devices, and we can’t wait to show you more of the gameplay itself. And I’m really excited to be building this new and different approach.

Project Rene and The Sims™ 4 are going to continue to exist side by side. We plan to support both at the same time, and we’re going to continue to bring even more exciting content to The Sims™ 4 for the foreseeable future.

MERSEA: Don’t get me wrong. I’m super invested in my Sims 4 storylines, but thinking about the different opportunities we’ve seen in like The Sims™ Castaway and Urbz which, by the way, one of my absolute favorites, it just makes me excited to think about how I’ll pop into Project Rene to play with friends.

LYNDSAY: We want to make it super easy for your friends to come and join you. We’ll actually have more to share about what multiplayer will look like in Project Rene in the year ahead, but I want to talk about one way specifically that we’re going to make it as easy as possible to join.

We intend for Project Rene to be free to download, and that means that when it’s ready and fully open to our players, you’ll be able to join and play and explore Project Rene without a subscription, without core game purchase or energy mechanics. We want it to be easy for you to invite or join with a friend, and that means extending an open invitation for everyone to play.

MERSEA: Really? Bombastic side eye?

LYNDSAY: We’re developing this game in a different way, and we’re bringing everyone along with us, and that means a lot of different phases of development, which can include everything from closed invites and small public tests to large-scale early access options. And yes, when Project Rene is ready, it’ll be available to download for free.

MERSEA: What does that mean for content in the game, like updates?

LYNDSAY: We want to focus on building something strong and cohesive from the start. It definitely won’t start with everything you have in The Sims™ 4, but we’re going to add new experiences and content to Project Rene over time.

MERSEA: Okay, so what might that look like? We talking DLC, packs?

LYNDSAY: Well, beyond regular updates to the core game, we will sell content and packs, but we want to change that mix a little bit. Let me give you a theoretical example. In The Sims™ 4, the only way to experience any weather was if you purchased Seasons. Now, in Project Rene, we might introduce basic weather to the core game for free for everybody. And then a pack for purchase might be focused on winter sports and could include activities like ice dancing or a snowman-building competition.

Building this way means that down the line, we could use wind or rain or clouds for other pack themes as well. Now, it’s a little early to know exactly where we’ll draw the lines, but it’s important for us to lower those barriers to play and give everyone the broadest shared systems because that feels like the best foundation to grow from.

MERSEA: That’s really interesting. I will definitely need to think about this some more and I’ll need to review this all again on The Sims™ Newsroom. Shout out to that team for the recap.

LYNDSAY: As we shared last time, we’re still exploring a lot of different ideas and we haven’t settled on all the details of everything, but it’s important for us to keep sharing. Stay tuned for more updates as we go. But for now, how about a quick summary? Project Rene and other Sims games, including The Sims™ 4, will coexist for the foreseeable future. It means Project Rene is not setting out to replace your current awesome Sims experiences. And because we want everyone to join The Sims™ party when it’s ready, Project Rene will be free to download.

MERSEA: Thank you so much for your time, Queen Mother. I can’t wait to keep learning more about Project Rene, so know that you are always welcomed on our couch.

LYNDSAY: Thank you, Mersea. Pleasure to be here.

[kass-storycorner]

Mentally I’m getting worse again (tho I try to do all the stuff I learned from two years in therapy to … prevent it from getting bad bad ), so I’ve only been thinking about how some of the Genshin characters would comfort me? So here have this, whatever this is, that I wrote at 2am on a night before I have 11am shift at work. Using you in all of this but honestly this is 100% self indulgent. I just want someone to cuddle with. Pretty sure most of this isn’t really in character and every point is vastly different from the others but hey, it is what it is. As long as I’m in my current mindset my stuff won’t be any better than this

Genre: fluff, a bit of angst I guess idk man, comfort i hope

Content warnings: depression (?) I don’t go too much into detail, don’t want to write out those negative thoughts HA but you know you are just not in a good spot in these, absolutely inconsistent writing, every character has to deal with a different stage of feeling depressed and yeah

Characters: Diluc, Childe, Albedo, Yoimiya

Fun fact: my app crashed while writing this so thank the tumblr admins that you can restore posts you wrote after the app crashes one of the few good features of the app

Diluc:

Would definitely notice the first small changes in your behaviour, but wouldn’t think much of it in the beginning.

Maybe you are just tired? And even if not Diluc knows best that no one can always be chipper.

Still he doesn’t know how to act around you when you are sad / heading towards a depressive episode.

He would offer you his help, you just need to say what you need and he’ll give it to you.

Ah, but Diluc didn’t really consider at first that you would be too afraid to ask, even when he offered it to you.

One day he will directly ask you in the privates of your home if you are okay. At first you would try to brush it off, not wanting to be a burden on Diluc. You know how much he’s been through and that he also has his emotional scars… would be a bit selfish to dump it all onto him, wouldn’t it?

But oh, you’ve been dying to talk with someone about your feelings, craving a warm hug and words of comfort… so when Diluc doesn’t drop the topic you just let it all out.

He will take you in his arms and hug you, cuddle you, as long as you want. He’ll stroke your hair, quietly listening to your words, only small “mmmhs” and “it’s okay” leaving him, to reassure you that it’s fine for sharing it all.

When none of you talks all you can hear is his steady breath and oh, it’s so soothing.

Maybe you end up crying, while sharing all of it with him. All he does is to pull you closer into his chest, saying that it’s okay and tell you to let it all out.

Diluc hides his softer side from the people of Mondstadt, always hiding behind the more grumpy image some of him have, but he knows that it’s not good to run away from your own feelings. What you need to do is to feel them, do not try to push them aside because you are uncomfortable with them.

Generally he would be soft, kind and understanding. At first he might give you too much room, afraid he might be overstepping a boundary when he keeps pushing you in the beginning. Ends up in you isolating yourself / pulling away more, but once Diluc sees the pattern he will be more attentive to your needs and learn to differentiate between you needing space and you isolating.

Though please communicate with him better, he’s busy and if him having less time for you causes you distress you need to tell him, he might only notice it after the feelings festered.

Childe:

Oh boy - he hasn’t seen you in a while, Fatui duties you know, so when he knocks on your door one day he notices immediately that you are not in a good place.

This man - he cooks, he cleans, we all joke about him being the perfect husband but seriously. He sees the state of you, the state of your apartment and immediately helps.

Having spend the last week or two in a depressive state caused you to neglect your housework - the dirty dishes are everywhere and laundry keeps piling up. Not to talk about how you look.

Childe will make you a bath and while you’re in it he cleans. An immense help!!! Taking away a good chunk of thinks that made you feel just so overwhelmed and helpless.

The whole time he wouldn’t breach the topic of why it has come to that point, but now after you finished the bath and the apartment looks liveable again he asks you what’s wrong.

Honestly you don’t know yourself, you’ve been just lacking more and more energy to do the basic tasks and suddenly everything was a mess.

Will wipe away your tears and tell you “don’t cry, I’m here”, taking you in a hug.

When he’s around more, will he notice it when it slowly gets worse? Mmh, yeah!! He definitely notice when you are feeling more down, seeing how your interactions change and how your laughs become more forced.

In the beginning he will just try to make you feel all the “positive” feelings, not wanting you to feel any “negative” emotions at all

this man definitely represses his own trauma a lot and has a horrible way of coping with it so I doubt he would be the most emotionally intellectual person to help you through it

Though when you show that you don’t feel like showing your sadness aside and you just want someone to share it with / need some comfort he will adjust to your needs

Albedo:

Boy as impeccable observation skills, he will notice immediately when something is off.

However - he somehow struggles to understand your feelings. Like. At all.

When he asks you what’s wrong and you tell him that there is not a reason for your feelings, you just feel a bit depressed that’s all, he will not get it.

How do you feel a certain emotions without something causing it? There must be a reason for it.

And honestly he’s right there is always a reason for a certain feeling to arise, but sometimes they aren’t easy to understand for yourself or to spot, sometimes it’s just that your inner child needs a hug and it takes you three weeks and a metal breakdown to understand that this is all you needed… plus a good cry

He’s gonna be so awkward at trying to comfort you, making you feel better, at first. Trying everything out to cheer you up, he really doesn’t want you to feel bad. Asks around for advice what helps others when they are sad.

Honestly? The things he does, the small presents he gifts you - they are nice and make you feel loved, but it doesn’t make the bad feelings go away. Even worse it somehow builts up this immense pressure for you to get better quick because look! Albedo does nice things, he tries to help. He tries to figure it out. Why can’t you give him the results he hopes to get???

Only when someone (Timadeus for sure) finally tells Albedo that it’s not a special dish or flower or even place that helps with sad feelings - it’s that they remind them of something that’s comforting. Klee told him Dodoco helps when she’s sad, because Dodoco reminds her how much her mum loves her. So when people told him about certain foods or flowers - it was more because those were valuable for those individuals, doesn’t mean it has value to you. Most importantly is that he’s just there for you.

With that new bits of information he will try to adjust to your needs more, to learn what you need and to understand it.

He will be so upfront about it too, coming into your room and telling you that he’s been trying to make you feel better the past couple of weeks and noticing how your mood has not improved at all. Finally asks you what you need opposed to him only having asked why you feel that way

Will definitely make you cry with how he approaches the topic. When he apologises for making you cry you cry even harder at how soft he says it.

Albedo will remember what he was told, that it’s important to just be there for someone, so he will stay at your side, his hand on your back rubbing it while you are just sobbing.

After the tears have calmed down you can just be honest with him, tell him that you sometimes don’t know yourself what will make it better, that sometimes you just have to life with the feelings and accept them - but that his attempts really didn’t help.

He will apologise for putting more pressure on you, asking if you need a hug (something a lot of people have told him helps them but he was just to shy to actually try it out). After saying yes you both stay for a long time in the hug, the first thing in a long time to make you feel better.

Yoimiya:

My love, the light of my life, my future main - she would be SO good at helping you through an episode.

Notices the way you act towards her changes and immediately confronts you about it, afraid that something in the relationship is amiss until you tell her the truth that you are a bit depressed.

Canonically the one with the best communication skills, if you were to put her, Diluc and Kaeya in a room I’m 1000% sure those two would leave it as brothers again.

That said she can sometimes be a bit too overwhelming - she can talk a lot, but she’s a good listener too, but in her attempt to fix the issue she goes a bit overboard.

She’ll want you to talk it all out which isn’t a bad thing per se, but sometimes you just don’t feel like talking or that talking would help.

However the way Yoimiya is it will make you communicate with her more about how you feel and what you need - she kinda just seems to be more approachable and the kind of person you can pour my heart out to after meeting her on the toilets of a bar.

Will cuddle you as long as you need.

And honestly? 100% sure she would even make you a firework to cheer you up that you both watch from her favourite spot on a blanket while doing so (the cuddling!)

or you know maybe it’s just what I would really want to do with her when I’m depressed aka RIGHT NOW MAN

[sortasirius]

“Unity” and the Broken Boys

BOY Y’ALL BETTER SIT DOWN BECAUSE THIS IS AS LONG AS CAN BE AND I TOOK OFF WORK TOMORROW SO I’VE GOT TIME

This is....one of the best episodes in the show.  Yeah, in all 325 of them, this is hands down one of the best.

First of all, stan Amara for clear skin.

That silent treatment babey, right out the gate with the Angst.  Tbh Dean deserves it.

“Like I said, killing Amara, Jack dying...that’s the only way.”

“The only way.  Our one shot.  Our Last chance.  You ever get tired of saying stuff like that?”

“We don’t have to like it, alright?  But you and me, we gotta get it done.”

Amara is such a welcome energy in this whole episode.  She’s warm and understanding, whip-smart and probably more powerful than Chuck.  I love her.

Sam is a wonderful, understanding, loving dad.  I love him eternally.  He loves Jack so much, he’s trying so desperately to do what’s right for Jack but also what’s right for the world.  Jack made this choice, but he can’t live with it.  How do you support your child when their life is at stake?

“Come on man.  Blindly following orders, lying to Amara, sending her to her death. Does any of this feel right to you??”

“It doesn’t matter how we feel!  You know what?  Stay.  Stay.  Someone has to be the grown up here.”

“Yeah well someone has to keep fighting for Jack!”

“He knows what he signed up for!”

“Last I checked, we don’t give up on family.”

“Jack’s not family.”

Y’all should have heard the noise I made.  What a fucking line.

“I know how you feel about the kid, I care for him too, I do, but he’s not like you.  He’s not like Cas.  He’s just not.”

“I’m- I’m ready.”

You can see the regret, the heartbreak in Dean’s eyes.  You can see how he wants to take those words back the moment he said them, and for Jack to hear them?  It’s unthinkable.

Sam and Cas I’m just so fucking emo dude.

“Sam, you stayed behind to find another way huh?  I woulda done the same.”

AMARA

First of all, LOVE this structure.

Amara and Chuck have such a fascinating dynamic.  Rob and Emily do a great job (as they have all along) by clearly being siblings but...heightened.  You can just tell they both exude power, and the other is the only one they consider an equal.

“You and Dean had that whole weird...thing.”

“That wasn’t you writing?”

“Ugh, not that part.  Gross.”

What I took away from this is what I’ve suspected all along.  They HAVE free will, just not total free will.  Dean and Amara’s connection wasn’t Chuck, there are parts of the story he didn’t write.  Obviously, this comes into play later. 

I also have a hunch that Chuck doesn’t write romance.  I also think that in particular will come into play.

“Balance.  Something we’ve never tried before.  Creation and destruction, light and dark, brother and sister united again, but on behalf of one world, this world.  True balance.  The way it was always meant to be.  But you can’t.  You only care about your pleasure, your story.  Well, I guess that makes you the villain.”

“Villains get all the best lines.”

We see again and again this season, Chuck is irredeemable.  He doesn’t care about the angels, he doesn’t care about the world, he doesn’t care about anything.  He is a petulant toddler who has broken his toys. And when he realizes he’s trapped, he gets angry, he shouts and screams, completely at odds with Amara’s peace.

“You can’t hold me here forever.”

“I can hold you long enough.”

DEAN

Pain is the name of the game in this section homies.  Because not only are we dealing with Dean’s pain, we’re also dealing with Jack’s.  Jack says he understands why Cas and Sam mean more to Dean, but Dean clearly doesn’t, he, once again, wants to say more, but is stopped, still stopped by his fear: his fear of not beating Chuck.

Alright guys, gals, and non-binary pals.  Let’s talk about Adam and Seraphina.

Adam.  The first man.  And Seraphina.  The angel.

“My old lady.  She’s the only one who could put up with me all these years.”

Yeah okay.  Volume at 100 I get it lmao.

But also: Adam wants God dead not because he and Eve were kicked out of the Garden, but because he went after their sons.  The theme of protecting the children strikes again.

“Killing God is your plan?”

“Yeah, Billie’s been giving us a hand but Sera and me, this is our baby.”

This juxtaposed directly with Dean’s own pain at what he has to do to kill Chuck, to gain his free will: the cost of his child.

Adam’s rib.

And who else might get his ribs hurt, only to be likely healed by an angel?

It’s fine, that’s fine.  I’m fine with that.

“Jack, I don’t know how to explain it but, when I found out about Chuck, it’s like I wasn’t alive.  Not really.  You know like my whole life I’ve never been free, but like really free.  But now?  Now me and Sam, we got a shot at living a life, without all this crap on our backs.  And that’s, that’s because of you.  So, I want to say, I need to say...thank you, Jack.  Thank you.”

I’m gonna have to do a separate post about just Dean in this episode, because there is so fucking much to talk about, but there are a couple of things that I think are important:  Dean realizes how wrong he was, to say what he said.  He knows that it’s not true, this is the way he’s always coped with loss, by pushing the person to be lost away, but for Jack to hear it?  He can’t stand for that.

And:

Dean has finally pushed through the barrier.  He won’t be quiet in the face of his doubts anymore.  This is a breakthrough for him, and, of course, there are more to come.

SAM

Sam and Cas, my chaos duo.

The box, the inscription, the door.

Death’s library, filled with dead reapers.

And there it is.  The Empty.

It tells Sam the plan, the plan for Billie to take God’s place.  For everything to go back to the way it’s “supposed to be.”

This has always been the game, since season 13.  This is the longest of long games.

Sam fuckin Winchester, lying his way out of a confrontation with the Empty like the legend that he is.

He comes back with a new purpose: to stop Billie’s plan, and here’s where we get to the heart of the episode and maybe the heart of the season.

“You hear that?  Dean, brought to the edge of doubt.  His sense of duty, his rage winning out in the end.  And poor Sam, always gotta know everything.  Can’t leave well enough alone.  This is my ending, my real ending.”

The gun comes out, pointed at Sam.

Hmm...what did I say during 15x05?  Oh yeah, this.

And:

Dean would never survive killing Sam, but he’s willing to do anything, anything to earn his freedom.  His ending, where one brother kills the other and then kill himself.

Why, you might ask, did Sam not mention that the angels would be sent back to Heaven, why does he not mention Cas?  I’ll tell you why, or rather, Becky will.

Plus, Dean looks back at Cas IMMEDIATELY when Sam says that, when he mentions Eileen, and THAT’S the first time he hesitates.  He can’t lose Cas.  But at the same time, he’s willing to do anything to have his freedom.

“Sam we don’t have a choice, Jack’s about to blow!”

“We always have a choice!”

You know me, just sitting here thinking about choice, the ability to choose, and how that translates to their free will.

And Sam...I don’t think there will ever be characters I love as much as these.

“I don’t care if Billie gets what she wants!  I don’t man, I’d trade it all, I’d trade em all for Chuck.  In a heartbeat!”

“What about me?”

“You’d trade me?”

“Chuck has to die.  He has to!  Otherwise he’ll keep us tap dancing forever, and I can’t live like that man, I can’t live like that, I won’t!”

“I know you feel like that right now, okay? I know you do, but you gotta trust me.  My entire life, you’ve protected me.  From Dad, from Lucifer, from everything.  I didn’t always like it, you know?  But it’s the one thing in the whole world that I could always count on.  It’s the only thing I’ve ever known that was true.  So please, put the gun away.  Just put it away.  We’ll figure it out, Dean, we’ll find another way, you and me.  We always do.”

Okay I feel like this is going to be one of those scenes that I cry watching for years to come.  Because fuck.  After fifteen years they finally admit that not only did Dean protect Sam from Lucifer, but he protected him from John.  John.  On a par with Lucifer.

Dean and Sam have, for so many years, sacrificed themselves for the other.  Dean’s demon deal, Sam and the trials, every season they have fought to see who can die the quickest for the other.  But this?  This is them fighting to stop the violence, to stop from killing the big bad.  This is them growing, in our eyes, in real time.  Sam has always been able to get through to Dean when no one else had a prayer, but for Dean to listen, for Dean to take his words to heart, to stop the hunt for Sam, for their family, that’s how you know they do have free will.

(Btw Chuck’s eye effect when he dusted Amara was sick as fuck but I’m emo for my boys so.)

Chuck knows it’s a loss, he knows that his story has, once again, been thwarted by the boys making their own choices.  And he’s pissed, but in his anger, we get a bomb dropped on us.

“Spare me your contempt Castiel, the self-hating angel of Thursday.  You know what every other version of you did after “gripping him tight and raising him from perdition”?  They did what they were told.  But not you.  Not the one off the line with a crack in his chassis.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

Also, just worth bringing up this one as well:

Every Castiel pulled Dean out of Hell.  Every one told him the same thing.  And yet, immediately, with this Cas and this Dean, something was different.  Because what has everyone seen about Cas, from the moment he met Dean?

And there’s our endgame people.  Laid out on the line.

But we ain’t done yet, fam.

We’ve talked about the handprint, but you know:

So there you have it, our prep into the “monumental” 15x18.  I have spec on that, of course, but I think a novel is long enough for this.

What to take away: Dean’s rage was always Chuck’s plan, they do have free will, their love for each other, for their family, is what will stop Chuck’s control, Death is about to come back with a vengeance, Cas’ deal is at play, and, most importantly, Castiel and Dean Winchester are a blind spot for Chuck, something he has never, not once, controlled.

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[vyeoh]

this is your chance: wax poetic about an Empires or DSMP character of your choice to a fan who is new to both. Explain why I should love them. I need guidance in this new and meme-populated land.

okok this is a lot of pressure haha. Spoilers for EmpiresSMP and DreamSMP below, obviously. I wrote a lot so prepare yourself, anon

I watch a lot of empires POVs but the ones I most anticipate every week are Scott and Sausage.

c!Scott (I'll call him Smajor for the sake of simplicity) starts off the series chilling, not really getting involved with the rest of the server, and staying aggressively neutral. After all, he's an elf. He has lived far longer than most of the other rulers already, and will most likely outlive them for many years. So, the best thing is to stick to his mountains and not get invested in the dealings of mortal affairs, maybe sometimes causing problems on purpose and dipping because what's life without a little spice right.

But then, this demon comes to the server, Xornoth. He's going around causing havoc and wants to send the world into an eternal winter, but he doesn't bother the kingdom of Rivendell much so Smajor stays tentatively cautious but ultimately unbothered. But then, the puzzle pieces start falling together. The first thing that the audience noticed was was Xornoth sounded like Smajor, but we mostly thought that this was just due to cc!Scott voicing both of them and there was nothing more to it. However, then, the people the demon starts possessing start chanting in elvish. The demon hates mortals, and the elves are conveniently one of the two confirmed not fully mortal races in Empires.

This culminates when Smajor stumbles across a cave that contains the backstory of the patron god of Rivendell, Aeor. Basically, there's two opposing forces, Aeor and Exor, and both have a champion. In a previous life, those champions were two brothers, where Aeor eventually prevailed and banished Exor. In this life though, the champions are - you guessed it - Smajor, and the demon Xornoth.

So now Smajor is like. Well fuck. It's my literal god-given destiny to be responsible for defeating this demon who is technically my brother, and if I fail the server gets plunged into an eternal winter. And I have no fucking clue what is happening because I've just been here on this mountain actively trying to stay out of the issues outside my kingdom. We watch him panic and teeter on the verge of spiraling for an entire episode, and when the followers of Xornoth go to the End to kill the dragon, releasing Xornoth's full powers, he fails to stop him. Smajor is a character who was used to being the smart one, the prepared one, the one who has the least deaths on the server. But he's also a character who runs away from his problems and ignores them. Before and during the dragon fight, we hear the desperation in his voice, as he's thrown into a situation he is wholly unprepared for, and it's bigger than him going to the Cod Empire to kill their king, or assisting in other people's plans to kill the codfather. He can't run from this. cc!Scott plays this scene so well as well, as I've said before, one of the best parts of Scott's acting is how he's never super dramatic, but he's so effective in the little things like inflection to make you feel, viscerally, the panic and dread.

So after the dragon fight, Smajor realizes, I can't do this on my own. I've tried and failed. So he gets allies. We watch him, someone who has so strongly been an isolationist, learn the benefits of allies and watch him learn to trust others and watch him learn how to get that trust in return.

My favorite thing about Smajor's characterization is that he's an incompetent protagonist, but not in the way of the "plucky young adventurer". He's capable skill-wise, and fairly jaded and very pessimistic. However, his issue is that up until recently, he did not care about the rest of the server at all, and by the time he learned to, it was way too late.

Also, in 3rd Life, cc!Scott and cc!Jimmy were canonically married and they reference it sometimes in Empires. Like, Scott goes over to the Cod Empire every so often both in and out of character to kill and/or flirt with Jimmy, the ruler of the Cod Empire, which may develop as a secondary plot into the future who knows. So ty Scott for giving the gays what they want o7

Now onto Sausage: his is a story of Icarus, his hubris and ambition being his downfall. He's one of the two followers of Xornoth, who promised him endless power in exchange for his servitude. He started the series being eccentric, but not outright unhinged, but slowly gets more and more extreme as the series progresses, as he gets brought more and more to Xornoth's side.

One of the best parts of Sausage's character, in my opinion, is how his gradual corruption affects the people around him. Initially, he got into a conflict with the Cod Empire and was allied with two other people in the Witherrose alliance. They were allies, but also close friends. The fandom liked to joke that the three had sibling energy, and I'm pretty sure the ccs played to that even more lol.

It was painful to watch the other two members, Gem and fWhip, watch Sausage get corrupted right in front of them, and see them desperately clinging on to this old idea of Sausage in their head because if they faced the truth, it would mean that their friend was gone. Eventually, they do finally cut him out of the alliance, leading him to fully commit to the side of the demon. Sausage felt very clearly betrayed by this, and declared the remaining two Witherrose alliance members to be enemies.

He gets more and more possessed, and we even see the other Empires, his enemies even, slowly realize that something is very wrong with the ruler of Mythland. He starts doing more and more evil things, like killing people more, making sacrifices to the demon, and eventually helping to kill the dragon to free Xornoth. So things are good for Sausage, for a bit. He won, and is more powerful than ever. Then he finds out: he's going to die. Xornoth's possession is slowly killing his soul, and eventually, his body going to be fully taken over and he himself is going to be trapped in the spirit realm. So how do you react to this? Over the next few episodes, we watch Sausage struggle between "the demon is literally killing me" and "the demon has given me so much, and I love it", all while Xornoth takes over more and more of him. We hear him exclaim that "don't worry!! I'm still about 15% there!" while trying to downplay every time Xornoth completely takes over his body. We watch him willingly oppose anyone who is trying to end the thing that is killing him.

My favorite thing about Sausage is that he is undoubtedly evil and proud of it, but he's also undoubtedly human. If you like to watch evil characters go absolutely feral, he's the guy for you. He makes the deal with Xornoth in the beginning, knowing and fully embracing the evilness of the demon, but at the same time he knows what he's doing is detrimental to both himself and everyone around him, but he's gotten in way too deep at this point, and to be fair the demon has held up its end fo the bargain, right?

Also, I would be damned if I don't talk about cc!Sausage's editing. Every one of his videos is like a movie. The way he does camera angles and uses music is so skillful- every lore scene feels like something out of a high fantasy action saga (think: LotR). Every big lore event I always wait in anticipation for Sausage's ep because his editing truly takes lore to another level.

I'm just generally very excited to see where this series goes. Empires is such a good mix of talented builders and good lore. Part of the reason why the series is so immersive for me, beyond any other lore smp, is that they have the settings to back it up. There is a certain charm to the DreamSMP's objectively terrible builds (with a few exceptions) but in Empires, the settings help sell the plot so much.

Another part of why I love EmpiresSMP is how much the ccs are involved with the fan community. I'm sure you've seen the memes about Scott being on tumblr, and Sausage regularly goes through the EmpiresSMP fanart tag on Twitter and likes art, even ones not related to Mythland. Most of the ccs, in fact, have brought up tumblr content on stream at some point or another. Like, several ccs have said that they read tumblr lore theories and hcs and stuff and sometimes take inspiration from them. Fun fact: Rivendell's church was inspired by my pinned drawing; confirmed by Scott Smajor himself. It's just such a good cycle of ccs and fans being excited about each other.

As for DreamSMP, I'm gonna be honest here, the only person I really am invested in in Technoblade. I started watching when he joined the server, and he's the only person whose lore I keep up to date with.

Techno's fun to watch because he's like the Deadpool of DreamSMP. Virtually unkillable, very skilled and scary, but consistently cracks jokes and breaks the 4th wall during plot. His POV is just fun. Like, he does wild plans and gives speeches and some of the stuff that happens to him should be called deus ex machine if it wasn't for the fact that Technoblade is the one who's doing it, and all the stuff is grounded in the fact that cc!Techno is just that good at the game.

However, the fact that he rarely takes anything seriously makes the few times Techno is 100% serious so much more impactful. His whole character has a basis in being perceived as inhuman and being treated as such, and therefore in return trying to hide his humanity. So, when he shows that humanity, whether that's fear, anger, or genuine love for his friends, it really makes you go "oh shit."

Techno's often said not to have character development, but I'd argue that while he remains steadfast in his moral code, he develops leaps and bounds as a person. Like, at the beginning, he's brought onto the server to help Wilbur and Tommy overthrow a government; them knowing he's 1) an anarchist and 2) very very powerful. His character was more of a plot device at that point and was treated as such in the canon. Wilbur and Tommy straight-up lie to him about their plans to establish another government after they overthrow the current one, while he was led on to believe that they were abolishing all governments in the area. But he isn't a plot device. He's a person, as much as he only shows the terrifying, blood god side of himself.

After the establishment of New Lmanburg (the new government its a long story), his friend Phil joins. And for the first time, we see him be fully human with someone and we see someone treat him like a human. Like, we saw glimpses before, with Wilbur and Tommy in Pogtopia, but Phil is the first person we noticeably see he trusts 100%. Then Doomsday happens, and Techno essentially retires to the tundra. During this time, we see Techno learn to be more human, first with Ranboo, then Niki when he establishes the Syndicate. In fact, the two of them, along with Phil, canonically throw him a birthday party, which is a far cry from his treatment in Pogtopia.

Techno's development is one of a god learning to be human, and I just think he <3

[kindofwriter]

I know Alex just intended Wilde’s robes to be ‘gay Shakespeare costume’ but I really love the idea of them being almost like ‘robes of unapologetically being yourself.’ Robes of ‘I’m not afraid to be queer, I’m not afraid to be Irish, I have bardic inspiration and I’m better than you.’ Because even if it means absolutely nothing in RQG universe, I’d like to think that’s a meaningful visual to real people.

Also, hypothetical RQG TV show where Wilde’s VA speaks fluent Irish and all his bardic castings are in Gaeilge? I want that.

Anyway, transcript under the cut:

SEASON 5, EPISODE 204

As the party enter the main room they find the table laid with a mediocre breakfast, however at each place setting there is also a parcel, wrapped in brown paper and with a note card laid on top. WILDE, already sat at the table, has clearly already opened his parcel, then hastily stuffed it back into the wrapping to appear polite. He turns to grin excitedly at HAMID, who shoots him a quizzical look.

WILDE: I think it's our lucky day!

HAMID: Oh?

AZU: Huh?

CEL: Ooh!

HAMID: Well, that's exciting!

CEL: Is that like a thing that we, uh, that, like, we, like- Are all the presents for, for, for us? Uh, do we-

ZOLF steps past HAMID, impatient rather than aggressive. He squeezes WILDE once on the shoulder, then takes a seat beside him. The rest of the party clearly take this as their cues to begin to sit at the parcels with their own name cards.

WILDE: It turns out that Augusta does actually have a role here, beyond just annoyance, which is quartermaster. So, Barret may have been sent out to fetch some things... for us?

HAMID: Oh!

ZOLF: Right.

HAMID: So, not 100% useless, that's nice! C-c-can we open them now?

WILDE shrugs - how should he know? - then makes a gesture of 'yeah, go for it' to the table.

AZU (BEAMING): Let's all open them together!

HAMID: How exciting!

HAMID leans slightly across the table, as if he's about to say something to SKRAAK, but they're already tearing into their present. From his package he removes a sturdy leather belt, studded, and buckled, with adamantine. They immediately put it on.

WILDE takes this to mean it's alright for him to re-open his own gift. He hurriedly shoves off the paper and pulls out a set of glimmering robes. They're an iridescence white, complete with a ruffle around the neck, and entirely covered in shimmering rainbow script. The text shifts, in a way that clearly marks it out as magical.Everyone pauses for a moment to look at WILDE, whose grin could split his face. It's been a while since they've seen him this happy. 

HAMID: Oh, Oscar, those are magnificent!

ZOLF (WITH A SMALL, SOFT GRIN): You are gonna look ridiculous, Wilde.

WILDE beams smugly down at ZOLF.

WILDE: I am going to look magnificent.

WILDE shakes the robes out, and a miasma of illusory glitter hits ZOLF in the face. ZOLF scowls dramatically at a laughing WILDE.

Still unfolding the robes, WILDE turns his attention to AZU, whose parcel is by far the largest. She is carefully unfolding it, grinning face barely visible about the huge package. Inside is a golden agile breast plate. As it shimmers in the light it becomes apparent that it is covered in the same kind of shifting magical scrawl as WILDE's robe.

Attached is a note that AZU reads aloud. Despite being busy with their own gifts, everyone turns as she does.

AZU: Whatever you do, don't use this inside.

This receives a round of curious looks from the table. HAMID and CEL lean in to get a better look at the armour.

AZU reaches out to turn the breast plate over in her hands, and as she does the text starts to fill in. Beginning at her hands, the shifting text slowly begins to run through with glowing pink, until the plate is more pink than gold. It's as bright as AZU's armour was on Hades' plane. The pink begins to settle, and as it does the magic text stops shifting. With a soft hum, it settles into Arabic scripture: the fundamental teachings of Aphrodite.

AZU beams with delight.

AZU: Ooh! Do you think- Do you think that don't use it means don't wear it? Or do you think I sh- could put it on but I can't get hit?

HAMID: Oh, it probably has some sort of, um, y'know, activation, like, similar to casting a spell inlaid into it, but I think wearing it you- It won't be a problem.

CEL frowns.

CEL: Yeah, like, um, I'm just, I-I'm a little concerned, it reminds me a little of, um, some of the, the symbols, uh, one learns when, uh, learning, uh, how to, to transmogrify ones shape. So I would just, think maybe, uh-

CEL inspects the armour, head cocked slightly to one side.

CEL: Maybe, uh, a triangle? Or, um, or a square? Maybe a platypus? I-I'm not exactly sure.

HAMID opens his mouth as if to refute them, but then decides to drop it. AZU carefully takes her hands off the armour - it remains pink.

HAMID, next to AZU, unwraps a long metal pole. As soon as he retrieves it from the wrapping paper gold lines begin to emanate from his hand and down the pole. They curl and flicker like flames.

Something alights in HAMID's eyes as he holds it. His hand that clutches the pole begins to sharpen and elongate, twisting into a clawed grasp. The once single point of his ears is now three, giving the impression of a reptilian ruffle. No one, not even HAMID, seems to notice.

CEL unwraps a pair of diamond lenses. They're scuffed around the edges, dusted with the debris of whatever they've been hacked out of.

CEL immediately pulls their alchemists goggles from their head, slips the lenses out, and inserts the new ones. At first it seems as though they won't fit, but as CEL begins to apply pressure they resize and slide in with ease.

ZOLF has been very carefully unwrapping his package - unknotting the string and unfolding the paper. Folded at the centre of his parcel is a thick, smoothly woven, grey cloak.

WILDE watches with curiosity as ZOLF reaches out to touch the fabric. Instantly a small smile toys at the corner of his lips. He glances across the table, making eye contact with HAMID, and widens the smile to a grin. HAMID, though taken off guard, smiles back with slightly sharpened teeth. ZOLF has turned back to the cape before he can notice.

Everyone is now chatting, inaudibly, absorbed in their gifts. CEL and SKRAAK are excitedly showing off their new accessories to each other, AZU runs her fingers over the text on her armour, ZOLF gently unfolds his cloak, WILDE has now donned his robes and is leaning back languidly in his chair. The text has stopped shifting, and has now settled as Gaeilge scripture - WILDE's 'inspire courage' performance, scrawled across his robes in rainbow ink. HAMID looks around at all of them, unable to contain his excitement at seeing all of his friends so happy.

WILDE: Well, it's nice to be appreciated again for a change-

A brief pause and a glance at ZOLF, as if he's expecting a gentle elbow to the ribs, but none comes. ZOLF is too busy smoothing out the cloak, preparing to put it on.

WILDE: Don't know about all of you.

Finally looking away from his gift, ZOLF notices that WILDE's hair is caught in his ruffle. He stands and swings the cloak quickly over his shoulders. Then, with a frustrated grunt of 'c'mere,' he shuffles behind WILDE's seat and begins to gently extract his hair from his collar. He murmurs something inaudible to WILDE, though we assume it's something nice, as it swaps WILDE's smug smile for a genuine one.

HAMID watches, grin now spreading far past the confines of his mouth. All sounds of the room begin to fade out. CEL laughs without sound. AZU pays a silent compliment to SKRAAK. WILDE tips his head back to say something to ZOLF.

Then, with a pained hiss, HAMID collapses forward, clawed hands gripping the edge of the table.

Suddenly the room is LOUD. Cries of 'Hamid!' 'What's wrong?' 'You alright?'

WILDE grips ZOLF's hand to his shoulder, now sitting bolt upright. SKRAAK is already looking round for an enemy. AZU reaches out to place a hand on HAMID's back, but as she does so the fabric of his suit begins to writhe. Two small holes are torn as brassy talons claw their way out of HAMID's back. These are quickly followed by the unfurling of immense, brass dragon's wings.

Breathing heavily, HAMID straightens again, glancing behind him. Everyone else is in utter shock.

HAMID (SOFT, SURPRISED, THOUGH NOT AT ALL DISAPPOINTED): Oh!

[theonewiththefanfics]

Give You Hell (one-shot)

Synopsis: When you’re in a relationship with someone famous while being famous it can be difficult. But not for the Reader and Harry, yet when her past comes knocking, she’ll make sure to know where she stands.

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: fluff, some minor angst, like microscopic 

Warnings: swearing, reference to past abusive relationship, but nothing explicit.

Word count: 3428

100% inspired by ‘All American Rejects’’ ‘Gives You Hell’

Dating someone famous while being famous yourself had pros and cons, much like everything in life. The cons mostly came from the outside, not from the inside. It was the opinions of others, thinking what they said mattered, the scrutiny of the press, hoping one of them would mess up, and they could run some bullshit article just so their numbers could go up, without a second thought of how the people involved felt, and it was some jealous fans who didn’t seem to comprehend the people they admired were actual human beings with feelings and thoughts and emotions and autonomy. But other than that, Y/N’s and Harry’s relationship was just like any other. Save for when their emotions bubbled over, millions of people heard them in songs.        They’d met at the iconic yellow-suit-Harry Brit awards. She’d been right next to Hugh Jackman opening the show, a red glittering bodysuit with a black and gold ring-master jacket, a top hat adorning her head as she dominated the stage. If Harry had been sloshed at that point (much like he was later on, but who was Y/N to say, given how most of the night was a blur for her), he would’ve absolutely started drooling at the sight of her, and he was one of the thousands who stood up, hollering and clapping as she and Hugh ended their performance.

       Much to his dismay though, Y/N wasn’t one of the people assigned to sit by his table, instead, she was a couple of rows behind, whispering something into Billie Eilish’s ear, the two erupting into uncontrollable laughter.        He felt like a creep as he tried to catch every possible glimpse of Y/N, her smile making his heart race. She’d been on his radar for a while, had even thought about asking her to collaborate on a song for ‘Fine Line’, but at the end of the day, it was an album of personal discovery (and when one of his producers told him Y/N was halfway across the world in the middle of Norwegian woods for the next half-year working on her own music, he didn’t want to be a bother). But seeing her then, Harry wondered why he hadn’t reached out on his own, especially after at the after-party Lizzo had dragged Y/N to him and introduced the two.        The following day, pictures of them dancing together, drinks in hands and drunken grins on their faces would sweep the web, sparking millions of rumours, but, at that moment, they didn’t care, nor did they care about what was written because as Harry twirled Y/N under his arm, as much as the connection was there, that night they went their separate ways. Even when they were drunk, they understood that about the other person, and wouldn’t accept anything else, but a sober and coherent ‘yes’.        Sometime midday the next day, Harry reached out to Y/N through a DM on Instagram checking in on how she was doing, which then turned into a six-hour FaceTime call.        “What do you mean you’ve never had a hangover?!”        Y/N laughed at Harry’s almost offended expression. “I mean I’ve never had a hangover. I’ve never thrown up while drunk or after being drunk, my head’s never hurt – nothing. I mean I’m tired, but that’s because I’m still on New York time and got to bed at like five AM.”        “You… are something else.”        She wiggled her eyebrows. “Is that something else something good?”        Y/N didn’t know, but when Harry saw her eyes sparkle, his heart skipped a beat, and he immediately knew – she was it. “The best.”        “Well…” she bit her lip. “If I’m the best, would it be too forward of me to ask you out for a coffee?”        What Harry didn’t know was that when she saw him smile as if those were the best news in the world, her heart skipped as well, and she knew he was the one.        “Only if it’s my treat.”        “But I was the one who asked you out.”        “Yes, but you can pay for the second date.”        Holding in her squeals of joy was tough, but she raised her eyebrow, giving Harry a sly smirk. “Already so confident there’ll be a second date?”        Harry scoffed. “And a wedding!”        Seeing Y/N throw back her head as she laughed, made all sorts of butterflies fly through his stomach.        “Okay, Styles. I’ll take your word for it.”        Three months into the relationship, the two were booked to appear on The Graham Norton show together, which was also the first time they’d appear officially as a couple at a work/outing kind of a setting since the rumours started floating, and a picture of Harry kissing Y/N outside of a hotel room had sort of confirmed that.        “So, you two.” Graham pointed between Y/N and Harry with his cards. “Have started to date? Not to say anything Harry, but Y/N… I didn’t think boy-bands were your type.”        That made her lean over in laughter as Harry gave everyone a shocked face, before slumping back and pouting, nudging Y/N with his knee. “That’s not funny.”        “I mean it kind of is.”        “She was twelve when she swore off boy-bands.” Graham nodded, taking a sip of his wine. “Isn’t that what you said last time you were here?”        “Hey, it’s been ten years since I said that!” Y/N laughed. “Cut me some slack. All the people I was crushing on are married anyway… with kids… and could probably be my dads… I have issues, don’t I?”        Everyone exploded into giggles while Harry shook his head, chuckling.        “Love you with all of your issues.” He nudged her shoulder, and she nudged right back, taking a sip of her drink.        “Yeah, give it a couple of months. You’ll regret your words.”        The thing was Y/N was so wrong, and she’d never been happier to be so wrong. Each morning they were together, Harry woke up to her showering him with kisses or vice versa. As private as Harry was, his Instagram stories were now filled with pictures and small videos of them, of Y/N’s face half-covered by a blanket, glasses crooked as she smushed her cheek to his chest and watched a movie, or her eating breakfast while re-watching old Bones and Castle episodes with captions like ‘dunno how she keeps the food down’ and ‘she swears it’s just for research’, while her feed was full of candid Harry photos or her rummaging through his closet and showing everyone his immaculate style, and giving tips how others can recreate it (also she may or may not just use that as a reason to steal his clothes).        Generally, people loved it, and their love for one another. It was refreshing to see them enjoy each other’s company, and not be afraid to do so, especially now, given how it was a couple of days before Y/N ended her tour in New York in Madison Square Garden, to which Harry had specifically flown out for despite being in the middle of filming for ‘The Little Mermaid’. Three AM blinked on the clock, as the two finally drifted off to sleep after five hours of a passionate reunion when her phone dinged, indicating a message had arrived.        “Turn it off,” Harry grumbled into the skin of Y/N’s back. “’S too early.”        She hummed in agreement, furrowing her brows as her palm blindly searched for the offending device, and she squinted her eyes as the light burned her retinas before widening in shock at the message.        Harry felt her body go rigid, and he pressed a kiss to her neck. “Everythin’ alright, lovie?”        “Uh – “ she stuttered, trying to process the words on the screen. “Uh, yeah. Yes, everything’s fine. Just… some last-minute changes for the show. They want something really big for the ending, and some of the propositions are just…”        She could feel a smile stretch across Harry’s mouth. “Extravagant?”        “You could say that, yeah.”        “Sounds like it’s gonna be one hell of a show. Not that the others weren’t.”        Y/N switched the phone off wiping away the message first and then turned to cuddle into Harry’s chest. “It most certainly will.”        For the next two days, she was an anxious ball of mess, as her crew got everything ready, and her and her band rehearsed relentlessly before she asked all of them to gather at the studio to add a song to the setlist.        “It’s gonna be a couple more hours, Hazza,” Y/N murmured into the phone as Harry had called in to check on her. “ ‘M sorry. You don’t have to wait up for me. I know you’re still adjusting to New York time.”        “ ‘S alright,” he slurred, clearly already falling asleep but determined not to. “Can’t sleep without you anyway.”        At those words, Y/N’s heart did that stupid flipping thing it’d been doing ever since Harry entered her life to stay, and a shy grin blossomed on her lips. “You’re exhausted, sweetheart. But I’ll tell you what - if you do go to bed, I’ll be sure to wake you up with a kiss when I get back.”        “You promise?” She could hear the smile on his face.        “Swear it.”        “Alright, lovie. I’ll be waiting to cash in on that kiss.”        “I’ll run to give it to you as soon as I can. G’night.”        “See ya’ in a bit.”        Y/N let out a shudder as she heard the call disconnect. She entered back inside the studio and clapped her hands, drawing the attention of her producers and band members. “Where were we?”

***

       The hour before a show was always nerve-wracking for Y/N. It’s when the adrenaline truly started to rush, when her feet and palms got all tingly, and her ears and cheeks heated up. It was when their warm-up band exploded on stage, and the crowd got pumped up. But the best moment that night by far was right when she was about to run out, Harry had pulled her back by the wrist and kissed the living daylights out of her.        “You’re gonna kill it tonight,” he muttered against her lips, words skimming her mouth and making her smile as bright as the sun. She seemed to do that a lot around him. It’s why he now dedicated Golden to her every time he sang it.        “Thank you. For being here.”        Harry flicked her nose. “Always. Now go. People are waiting.”        When Y/N finally appeared on stage, pretty much glowing as brightly as the stage lights, her fans went wild, and even more so when she jumped, starting off the show. The whole time, her gaze flitted to backstage just to get a glimpse of Harry, and whenever she did, she saw him dancing, singing along, filming her having fun and some clips of himself as well, going absolutely ham to her songs.        As the night was moving towards the end, usually, she’d feel euphoria from giving a great performance, after hearing thousands of people sing her songs in unison, now Y/N felt closer to throwing up and fainting.        “So uh…” She pushed back strands of sweaty hair, hollers of people echoing in her head. “This is a very special show tonight. Umm… this is the first concert my boyfriend’s come t - .” She didn’t even get to finish the sentence before the cheers of the people interrupted her, deafening the girl even with the earplugs.        “But umm… it’s also a special show because two days ago someone reached out to me, and uh… he… well, he was as important of a person once the same way Harry is right now, and he wrote this.”        Y/N went over to where the piano chair was, lifted it and fished out her phone from it, revealing the message that’d been basically haunting her nights and days since receiving it.        “Breaking up with you was the biggest mistake I ever made.” To her own surprise, her voice was steady and sure, unlike her hands which were trembling like leaves in a storm. “I know you look happy and in love, but I know it’s not true. I’ve known you for five years, I know how to see through the mask you put on every day just to make sure others are happy while you yourself suffer an inauthentic life. But you do deserve to be happy. And I’ll be waiting for you if you decide to give us a chance again. I’ll be at your concert in Madison Square.” She looked out into the crowd. “You wrote a song once for me. If you sing it, that’s how I’ll know you feel the same.”        By the time she got to the end, there were no more shouts or screams, but confused murmurs. Y/N let out a shuddering breath, hoping that she could manage to do what she wanted, and everything didn’t fall apart. “The thing is, I’d like for Harry to come on stage, please.”        She could see the fear in his eyes as he jogged to stand next to her, but he disguised it with an overenthusiastic smile as he waved over towards the raging sea of people. He’d seen the message, had seen her reread it more than fifty times by that point, and as sure as he was in their relationship, when someone who held such importance, no matter if good or not, in someone’s life came knocking again, you could never be too sure what would happen. Harry didn’t want to say anything, believing if it was important enough, she’d tell him. Guess that was it.        “So, uh…” Y/N pulled Harry’s arms over her shoulders and grasped onto them, grounding them both. “This is for you.” Y/N looked over into the crowd before glancing over her shoulder, Y/E/C eyes meeting Harry’s wavering green ones. “And you,” she whispered so that only he could hear. “Hope you know I mean everything.”        As the cords started playing, she felt Harry unwarp his arms from where she’d been holding them over her shoulders and a smile erupted on her face.        “I wake up every evening,” Y/N sang, “with a big smile on my face, and it never feels out of place.”        “And you’re still probably workin’,” Harry’s voice joined in, grin as wide as the Cheshire cat’s, as he now had a microphone in hand, the other placing earplugs in his own ears, “at a nine-to-five pace… I wonder how bad that tastes.”        “When you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell,” the two harmonized, Y/N’s eyes locked onto the masses, imagining the face of her ex-boyfriend who had the audacity to send that message.        “When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell.” Harry was looking at the crowd as well, now fully understanding the message and the person behind it, and although he lived by ‘treat people with kindness’, he couldn’t help but gloat at the fact he got to sing with the love of his life on stage, and basically serenade a break-up song to a person who didn’t know how to appreciate what he’d had.        Y/N cocked her head to the side. “Now, where’s your picket fence, love, and where’s that shiny car? It didn’t ever get you far. You’ve never seemed so tense, love. I’ve never seen you fall so hard. Do you know where you are?” It was hard not to smile, knowing where she was and who she was with. Harry threw an arm over Y/N’s shoulders as she sang, giving a mock sad look, while Harry pouted. “And truth be told, I miss you… And truth be told, I’m lying!”        “When you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell! When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell! When you find a gal that’s worth a damn and treats you well.” Y/N pointed towards where she imagined her ex was standing. “Then she’s the fool, you’re just as well, hope it gives you hell! Hope it gives you hell!” For a split second, the music slowed down, guitar strumming in the air, as Harry pulled Y/N by the palm and towards his chest.        When the next lyrics came out of his mouth, he knew them to be true as he sang them to the man, he’d heard Y/N talk about, to the man who thought everything he’d done to her, every horrible word and deed was justified, to the man who thought breaking someone else down was the only way to bring themselves up. “Now tomorrow you’ll be thinking to yourself, where did it all go wrong, but the list goes on and on.”        “And truth be told, she misses you,” Harry hummed, Y/N letting out a large laugh, holding onto his bicep, as he slightly changed the lyrics. “And truth be told, she’s lying! When you see her face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell! When you walk her way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!  When you find a gal that’s worth a damn and treats you well.” Harry sighed, shrugging his shoulders. “Then she’s the fool you’re just as well hope it gives you hell.”        “Now you’ll never see,” Y/N took over the song. “What you’ve done to me.” She placed a hand over her heart. “You can take back your memories, they’re no good to me. And here’s all your lies, you can look me in the eyes, with that sad, sad look that you wear so well.” She dragged her finger down her cheek, giving a pout while Harry mimicked her stance before turning the mic to the audience.        “When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell,” the crowd sang back with such vigour, Y/N was sure the whole ground was shaking just from their voices, and the clapping and stomping to the drum rhythm would bring the whole world down. “When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell! When you find a gal that’s worth a damn and treats you well, then she’s the fool you’re just as well, hope it gives you hell!”        The two were jumping around the stage like madmen, adrenaline filling their veins. “When you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!” “Hope it gives you hell!” Everyone else repeated.        “When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!” “Hope it gives you hell!”        “When you sing this song and sing along, well you’ll never tell. Then you’re the fool, I’m just as well, hope it gives you hell!” Y/N grinned once more, placing her hand over her heart, meaning every word – she was just as well. She had amazing friends, a career that’d flourished, and a person who loved her more than words could describe.        “When you hear this song, I hope that it will give you hell!” Harry crooned down the mic, knowing their happiness would, Y/N’s happiness would give him hell. And he enjoyed it, knowing how good her life was.        “You can sing along I hope that it puts you through hell!” Her voice became the only sound as the last word echoed around everyone, her chest heaving up and down from the exertion, from all of the emotions running through her body as well as the overwhelming feeling of not only having Harry watch her perform but to end up performing with him.        When his hands wrapped around her body, it startled her out from the daze, and the popping confetti startled her even more, as the rest of her band joined the two to take their bows, grins on all of their faces while they did so.        “Not the song you thought I’d sing, is it?” Y/N laughed into the mic, Harry’s arms tightening around her waist. “There’s a reason I blocked your number, let alone you from my life. Don’t think I won’t do it again.”        “But I would like to say thank you, to the asshole in question,” Harry said, making Y/N’s forehead scrunched up. “You let go of the best person ever; you had the honour of calling yourself her boyfriend, but instead, you chose to walk away. So, thank you for that. Because now I’ll have that honour and pleasure for the rest of our lives.”        Yeah. It was one hell of a show.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​ @tvwhoresblog​ @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue​ @im-squished​

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15​ @breezykpop​ @girlboss99​ @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist​ @alliyjane​ @sirtommyholland​

A/N: I love ‘All American Rejects’ and have been listening to ‘Gives You Hell’ non stop. It’s the best break-up song ever, and you won’t convince me otherwise. 

P.S. my tags are always open :)

P.S.S. please don’t repost my work on other platforms without my explicit written permission. reblogs are fine :)

[teeth-and-tea]

Anime I've Binged: August 2021

I've been crafting a lot recently because I wanna get my yarn work done before it gets cold so LOTS OF ANIME lmao let's gooooo

The Case Study of Vanitas: On god, this anime is gorgeous. Still being upload as it's a new seasonal, but it's a Yen Press distributed work by the same mangaka of Pandora Hearts and Crimson Shell so it's STYLISTICALLY GORGEOUS. The story is interesting and feels new but familiar enough to have guess, people who like men AND women will have something for them, and Noè is my baby boy, my heart, my lovely little lamb, the sweetest green bean on the planet <3. Can't wait for the (eventual, as told on the first episode) death of Vanitas by Noè's hands that will crush me <3. 9/10.

Oddtaxi: I was NOT EXPECTING this anime to be THAT GOOD. Oddakawa is the MVP. You think you're getting a slice of life anime with some furry elements and instead you get Paranoia Agent meets Yakuza and went to school with Beastars. Genuinely one of the best anime of the coming decade. The last 30 seconds of the last episode legitimately left me screaming and my brother had to ask me what was wrong. 11/10.

The Slime Diaries: The offshoot for That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime full of shorts while the second half of the second season was put on hiatus due to covid. Cute, bubbly, but the drawing styles for everyone was a little too off for me to entirely enjoy. However, the extra background and time they gave to all the characters really fleshed them out and gave them more depth so you have more to care about when you're watching the main series again. Not bad, pretty cute, but you won't understand unless you've watched all the way up to the middle of the Second Season. 8.5/10.

The Slow Life of a Cheat Pharmacist: Another Light Novel Slice of Life Isekai given life, I've seen better but this one isn't bad by any means. It gives you exactly what it says on the tin, with NO annoying fan service or gross (bad) harem dynamics. Pretty cute tbh. 8/10.

Mob Psycho 100 S1: The animation is INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD. Story was solid, depictions of original characters was GREAT and Mob is my beautiful little boy I want to wrap up in a blanket and put to sleep <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Reigen is a sweaty, sweaty gross goblin I found outside the Denny's dumpster at midnight and decided "ahh, yes, a man who is perfect to destroy and objectify all at once." 11/10.

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid S1, S2, and Shorts: I'm gonna be real, I'm a mad lesbian who knew I was gonna be disappointed by what I wanted but knew I wasn't gonna get it. STILL super cute tho. Lucoa and Shota gave me HARD SIDE EYE VIBES THO. Tits. Tits for days. Not my favorite but I've seen worse. 7.5/10.

How to Keep a Mummy: SO CUTE genuinely went online to see if I could buy a plushie before remembering I have crafting power and twelve dollars. Slice of Life featuring an adorable cast of high schoolers and their supernatural pets. 8.5/10. I couldn't stop being delighted by how CUTE everything was <3

Elegant Yokai Apartment Life: A Slice of Life Turned Plot-ish about if Tohru from Fruits Basket was a guy and shoved in an entire apartment complex full of supernatural beings, with less explicit romantic plotlines. It's not bad but the plot is all over the place and nonsensical in the the "why did the writer think this was a good idea" way and not the "lol" way. It was a Light Novel turned published piece tho so that clears up a lot of things. Incredibly small internet presence so if you want the world's tiniest fandom, try here. 8/10.

Didn't I Say to Make My Abilities Average In the Next Life?!: Another in the long line up of isekais and light novels that have gained an audience, this is honestly one of my favorite of the Isekais I've watched so far. It's fun, humorous, and it's got the decent premise of "oh yeah, I'm average in all my abilities! ... If you compare them from the tiniest bug to the strongest dragon alive." It's busty jokes and certain dried up cliches are abound tho, so some of the humor falls flat. That being said: the magic is run on nanomachines. That alone gives it enough premise for me to watch it. I watched the dub which I'll admit isn't amazing, but worked for me. 8.5/10

Restaurant to Another World: Another Light Novel adaptation but this one was a much earlier one that was published a few years ago, it's so calm that I like watching it to fall asleep to. That being said, don't watch this while hungry! Or watch it while eating leftovers! Because THE FOOD LOOKS SO GOOD I WANT IT D: Lol but serious it's pretty cute, really normal, there's no plot, I almost hesitate to call this anything other than a fantasy slice of life show instead of just a series of shorts strung together to make a show. I want to eat at Restaurant Nekoya TTuTT 8/10

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS:

How NOT To Summon a Demon Lord: I got 6 episodes in before I straight up could NOT take the fan service anymore. Literally, I watched 5 1/2 episodes, paused about 4 months, gave it one last shot and watched the 6th episode, and then called it quits. It's SO GROSS IT MAKES ME NAUSEOUS. Not in a gorey way (which is preferable tbh) but in "all these hyper-sexualized, assaulted, groomed, fan serviced girls are underage or are lolis" way. Ew. Gross. I refuse. I made myself watch PRISON SCHOOL but smth about this show just... made itself unwatchable. Maybe how it's still trying to make the MC seem like a normal dude and in Prison School they were literally all written to be unlikable and everyone knew it was fucked up. Here, it's like... portrayed as normal and positive? I just can't do it fam, I hate this show so goddamn much. I'm going to bed.

[tom-holland-parker]

Champagne Problems

Summary: Tom asked you a life changing question but you can’t give the right answer. 

Pairing: Tom x reader

Warning: Themes of mental health issues such as depression and Eating disorders

Word count: 1481

Note: Inspired by champagne Problems by Taylor Swift. 

Masterlist

///////

You sat on the uncomfortable cushioned seats waiting for the train to move. The thoughts in your head found their way to the hallowed out pain in your chest. Your throat dry, but your face still wet from the tears. You knew this feeling too well. Numb

As the train began to move you watched the bustling crowds on the platform become small. The train wasn’t full and if you were being honest you preferred it that way. It gave you time to think. Time to sit and feel hurt. You fought with yourself trying your best to stay awake. Every time you close your eyes it’s the same face.

His face.

Funny how in a few short hours you can find your whole life turned upside down. 

---

“My family is really excited to see you” Your boyfriend said as you wrapped his red flannel around your body. The November breeze was colder today, setting the tone for the terrible thing you were planning to do. You put on your best smile as you walked to the passenger side of his car. “Yeah I can’t wait to see them again. It’s been so long” 

Tom was nervous. You didn’t know why but you kept telling yourself it was nothing. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe he knew you were planning on breaking his heart. Maybe he was just waiting for it to happen. 

The second you reached his parents party the guilt inside of you multiplied. How could you be cold to someone so warm? “Y/N I’ve missed you” Tom’s mother said as she pulled you into her warm embrace “I keep telling Tom to bring you around more but he always says your busy” 

“Yeah well my new job has really kept me on my toes” You lied. Truly your job schedule wasn’t busy but you didn’t want to make things awkward by telling her the reason you hadn’t come around in 3 months was because you’ve been in the biggest depressive episode ever.  “Well at least you’re here now” She smiled as she moved back to talk to the guest. 

You felt Tom's hand meet yours again squeezing it tightly before he leaned it placing a small kiss on your cheek. “You look lovely tonight” He whispered. You chuckled looking you into his soft brown eyes, “Not as lovely as you” You joked as Harry walked towards you. 

“Y/N You look great” He complimented looking down at your black dress, “Do you mind if I borrow Tom real quick?” You nodded your head grabbing a glass of champagne from the table next to you. Him and Tom walked away whispering among themselves.

“Do my eyes deceive me or is that really Y/N?” You turned around when you heard Harrisons voice. He smiled taking another sip of his beer. “Hi Harrison” You rolled your eyes leaning in for a hug.”

“I see you're enjoying the champagne. Sam and Harry picked it just for tonight. It broke their wallets” He chuckled putting his empty beer bottle down to pick up a glass of the Dom Pérignon. You talked for a while catching up on the small things. He learned about your new promotion and you learned about the girl he’d been talking to. It was the small things like this that really kept you grounded. 

Tom returned shortly with a huge grin plastered on his face as he wrapped his arm around your waist. “Care for a dance love?” He asked shyly as Harrison chuckled. You put down your glass and grabbed his hand as a slow song began to play. 

“Have I told you that you look beautiful tonight darling?” He pulled you in closer as you rested your head on his shoulder, unable to hold eye contact. The lump of guilt in your stomach grew bigger. It wasn’t that you didn’t love Tom. You loved him with your entire heart. He was truly the love of your life. It's just you didn’t love yourself. You felt that you were holding him back from all that he could accomplish. 

While he tried his best to be supportive when you couldn’t leave your bed, or when you didn’t eat. Even when you spent most of your day sleeping. He was always by your side. It made you feel terrible every time he cancelled plans to stay with you. You could see the slight sadness in his eyes every time you had your ‘bad days’. It was unfair. That’s why you were doing it 

“About 100 times since you first saw me tonight” you chuckled. 

“And I’ll tell you 100 more times” He kissed your temple softly as you swayed side to side. One by one couples left the dance floor until it was just you and him. Tom shifted his position pulling away from you gently. “Tom?” You asked unsure of the sudden change in his mood. 

He grabbed your hand gently looking to his left to see his family staring at you both before turning back to you. “Y/N I want to ask you something” He cleared his throat as his grip on your hand tightened. Your eyes widened as he began to bend down, getting on one knee. “Y/N Y/L/N I have known you for three amazing years. You’re the love of my life. I love you and I want to make you a part of my family” 

He paused for a moment reaching in his pocket to pull out a small box. Tears flooded your eyes as he opened it exposing the ring his mother always wore. “This ring has been in my family for generations and I want you to have it. Will you marry me?” 

The lump in your throat prevented you from talking. You stood there frozen as the rest of the crowd waited for your answer. You closed your eyes, not wanting to see the pain in his face when he hears your answer. “Tom I love you but I can’t marry you”. Your voice was barely above a whisper but in the quiet room it was heard everywhere. 

You opened your eyes when you heard him gasp. The look of sadness and shock on his face when you gently pulled your hand away. It was unbearable. Your instincts told you to walk away but your feet stood planted on the grown as he slowly got back up. “I don’t understand” His voice cracked. “Did I do something wrong?”

A second wave of tears poured down your face as he moved to touch your cheek. You looked away staring at anything else except him. Harrison and his family stood there in shock. Your stomach dropped when you realized this would be the last you ever saw of them. They wouldn’t want you in their lives after what you’re doing tonight. “Can we talk somewhere else?” You say quietly looking down at your shoes. He nodded his head grabbing your hand to move you into the other room. “Baby what’s wrong? Did I do something?” He had tears forming in his eyes. 

“No Tom you didn’t do anything wrong” You took a deep breath trying your best to put your feelings into words. “I just can’t marry you because it wouldn’t be fair to you. You deserve so much more than I give you” 

“What are you talking about?” He sounded baffled at what you had said. You wiped your tears from your cheeks as more slowly came down. “Tom one day you’re going to find someone who will be able to give you the same amount of the love that you give them. And they’ll make up for the hurt I’ve caused” 

“I don’t want anyone else, I just want you. Why can't you see that?” His voice was filled with pain as he moved closer to you grabbing your hand, “I love you” 

“Tom I love you too it's just-” You were at a loss of words. “It’s just what Y/N?” His voice grew louder but still had hints of sadness.

“I’m holding you back. I know you don’t think I am but it’s true. You’ve missed so many opportunities because of me and my problems. It’s unfair to you. I need to work on myself alone. I love you but I can’t marry Tom” This was gonna be hard to do but the proposal made it even worse. “I’m sorry” 

He stood there frozen as you grabbed your bag and walked out the room. A whisper broke out through the crowd as you walked to the front door.

She would’ve made such a lovely bride. 

It’s a shame she’s fucked in the head

By the time you reached the front door Tom had walked back into the crowded area. His family comforting him was the last image you had as you walked out the door.

[chainofclovers]

Grace and Frankie 7x1 - 7x4 thoughts

Meh? Like...I love them so much, but...meh?

(I did enjoy this line about brunch.)

I really loved season 6 of Grace and Frankie. I thought it was well-paced, largely very well-acted, generally well-written, and it culminated in a massive moment of character development for the title characters, who, having spent years growing closer and being there for each other when others could not or would not be, finally articulate to each other that they are the primary person in each other’s lives. Platonic gal pal soulmate BFF emotional support witches 4 lyfe!

I know progress isn’t always linear, and in fact is very rarely linear, but after a moment that significant, you’d think the writers on this show would maybe come up with some more interesting things for these characters to do than spin in circles?

@bristler and I watched on Friday night, and just this morning over breakfast had a good conversation about the first four episodes of the new season now that they have settled in our brains a bit. We concluded that the writing (often noticeably clunky, like the dialogue is responsible for more narration than usual) and the tone (aggressively wacky) feel really off, especially compared to the prior season. I think we diagnosed the big issue, which is that Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda are by far the most talented actors on this show (if you disagree, fight me in the parking lot) and it feels surprisingly unfortunate that their characters have, to this point in the new season, pretty much figured out their perspectives on each other. No matter how people feel about Grace and Frankie’s sexualities, the whole show has been about them finding each other and getting in deeper and deeper, and it’s less interesting to watch other characters have realizations about that than it is to watch Grace and Frankie having realizations about themselves. If the title characters are now limited to reacting to other people’s actions, and the title characters are played by the best actors on the show, the whole show’s gonna suffer. And is suffering, very much so, at least for these first four episodes. I’m definitely still excited for the final twelve in 2022 (twelve! I cannot believe this season will have sixteen eps!), but I’m pretty disappointed so far.

Stuff I Loved:

The family brunch. These families have been entwined for so long, and the backstory for this particular brunch was so fun (even though I didn’t care for the effects they did to depict Grace and Robert 25 years ago; there was no need for a visual flashback in the scene). I love that Grace hit Frankie with a wiffle ball bat. I love that the two couples realized some of the emotional reasons behind their decisions to lie to each other about Bud’s Bunny and about M’Challah. I love the way Jane Fonda sounds uttering the phrase “Bud’s Bunny” with little to no irony. I love that Grace is able to recognize and articulate just how deep and miserable her anger issues were, albeit with the continued help of her omnipresent martini, and that Frankie told her she’d now make up a holiday in order to spend more time with Grace. I really, really hope Frankie does exactly this at some point in the remaining episodes of the season. I love that Grace is generally a pretty good person now, with aspirations of being a delightful person. I love that she and Frankie don’t have it in them to stay angry with each other, and I love all the evidence that they really, really talk to each other about everything now.

Frankie talking to the man at the office (I don’t remember who he was supposed to be? A toilet manufacturer? I didn’t mention this before, but I actually got pretty high while watching?!? Believe it or not, this was the first time I smoked pot and watched Grace and Frankie at the same time despite having enjoyed both activities on their own for quite some time. I would recommend the combo! And I think I still pretty much got what was happening) about paying for the toilet parts with candy. This whole subplot with the money laundering was absurd and not that interesting, but I loved this particular scene because it was finally evidence of some really thoughtful writing. The concepts aren’t enough! You have to write them into good dialogue! And the whole cash/candy thing was a moment of dialogue that only someone as hilarious as Lily Tomlin could pull off. Which she did, IMO.

In a show about super messy people, Coyote has stayed sober this entire time. He is sober, employed, in love, and preparing to buy a full-sized house with his partner. He hasn’t murdered anyone in his family. Hasn’t even attempted murder once.

In 2017 or whatever, Grace Hanson would have been furious about Frankie using obscure Beatles references like a treasure map when hiding the cash. But here in 2021, she cooperates and even gets in on the fun. The writing is very unsubtle this season, but that did feel like a reasonably subtle moment that shows how good of a partner she is for Frankie. (Platonic, of course! So platonic. Female friendship, amirite?)

Stuff I Did NOT Love and Felt Incredibly Negative About:

Brianna. I can only conclude that June Diane Raphael has decided she’s happy with playing a character whose primary role in life is to be hot and mean. She succeeds at being hot and mean, but I have reached my limit with this character. I realize we’re only a quarter of the way into the season, but I don’t think I can take another arc about her learning to compromise only to reveal to Barry that she never intended to compromise at all. At this point, it’s both abusive and boring. How?! The Grace/Brianna parallels aren’t interesting anymore, because one character has grown and the other is stagnant. I get that Brianna was raised in an emotionally stilted environment by two unhealthy people. But I think it would be very cool if she could learn something from her mother at this point. Grace has put a ton of effort into dealing with her “rabbit-killing, mad-at-the-world anger.” She’s put a ton of effort into figuring out what makes her happy, what she wants her life to look like. She’s even started accepting her age and abilities without shame. And that growth is believable; Grace is still short-tempered and she still slugs back way too many martinis and she struggles to articulate certain things, but she’s grown into a truly lovely human. And while, as a daughter with a mother, I can absolutely attest to the fact that it can be difficult and uncomfortable to learn lessons from one’s mother, Brianna really, really should. Grace spent decades letting anger and shame trap her in a small, miserable life. Brianna—and even Mallory, who just seems like a vapid idiot this season—are traveling that same path, but there’s someone right there who could really help, maybe even more than Frankie helped when the Hanson girls were first growing up.

The arraignment. The scene might’ve been salvageable if it was filmed from Grace’s perspective, and filmed to reflect how surreal and improbable it all was. But speaking of non-linear progress, this scene erased everything Nick Skolka has done to put himself in my good graces (LOL) over the past couple seasons. I mean, I tried, man. I even wrote fic about Nick, Grace, and Frankie making a genuine effort at polyamory. But the arraignment is so emotionally manipulative, such a slap in the face of everything Grace has worked for, and while we’re certainly “supposed” to feel the weight of the moment, I mean, it’s not like we’re supposed to be like, “Oh, cool, we’re in a rom com now! This is adorable!” it still felt bad and unearned and slapdash.

And I want Frankie to process these things with her! Frankie seems so happy to have all this information about Grace and how Grace feels, but I want to see scenes in which we can gain an understanding of how Frankie actually feels. Hearing Frankie talk to other people about how Grace feels is interesting, but it’s like there’s no room in these episodes for us to learn anything new about Frankie herself.

Grace’s transitional wig. Is so. Bad. It is. Such a. Bad wig. Oof. I mean, I like what they’re doing with Grace’s hair from a plot perspective, although (see one bullet up) I would really like to get more of an understanding of what’s happening in Grace’s head, not just on top of her head. And gosh, Frankie would be a really good person to talk to about this in a conversation that lasts longer than 30 seconds. But the wig! She’s in a wig in all four episodes, of course, since Jane Fonda went grey and cut her hair short before they started filming this season. The wig for episodes 1 and 2 is fine; it’s a good approximation of Grace’s typical hair, and of course we know that canonically Grace’s hair isn’t 100% her own hair anyway. But the wig with grey roots looks so weird. The part that’s growing out doesn’t look the same as the hair on the wig from 1 and 2. And the grey roots look like a yarmulke. I cannot wait to get to the point in the season when Grace goes all the way grey.

(One more thing about the hair. I can’t let it go. I paused the show while we were watching to rant, but I’m not done.) I had the great privilege of seeing Jane Fonda in person at a protest in 2019. She is an insanely beautiful human. She was growing her hair out and it was partially dyed blonde and partially grey. It looked really cool. I am not ashamed to say I spent that day learning many things about the climate crisis and about Jane Fonda’s hair. Having seen her in real life with her real hair looking that fucking great, I just have a an extra-large grudge against everyone involved in that horrible wig. The wig is necessary, but it didn’t have to be this bad.

What Do I Care About Now?

I am pretty intrigued by the way Grace threw out her real age in a conversation with Nick and Elena. She has nothing to fear anymore! She’s so chill about aging! What could go wrong? I assume that Nick and Elena maneuvering for Nick to be on house arrest in Grace's house specifically has to do with the fact that Grace is 82. She’s gonna find out that Nick is allowed to be with her because she’s ancient and helpless and the court took pity. Or something like that. She’s going to feel betrayed on top of feeling stifled and overwhelmed by Nick’s presence. I want to see where this goes for sure.

Other than that, and other than the fact that I really do continue to believe this show is moving in a direction in which Grace and Frankie will choose each other, I feel very whatever about this whole thing. I love this show and I will always appreciate this show for giving me some incredible characters to spend years of my life writing about, and for bringing me some pretty amazing friendships. Speaking of those friendships, yesterday @ellydash and @telanu and I were talking about some of the incredible TV we’ve watched recently, like Ted Lasso and Hacks and Fleabag and Killing Eve, and how great it feels to watch beautifully written TV crafted by writers who are profoundly—organically yet intentionally—attuned to even the most minor character’s rhythm. The disappointment of these first few episodes of the new G&F season feels like a mild disappointment rather than a sharp heartbreak, and that has a lot to do with being deeply invested in other shows that could also go in all kinds of different directions but with writing I fundamentally trust.

Also Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin are my forever faves and my appreciation for their performances and general awesomeness onscreen and in life is undiminished. So that’s pretty cool.

[theprojectrenebloggger]

Confirmed: The Sims 4 to Continue After Project Rene is Released

Lyndsay Pearson, the Vice President of The Sims franchise on EA/Maxis, was a guest on today’s Behind the Sims to talk a few details regarding the future release of Project Rene – the upcoming new title on The Sims series.

She confirmed The Sims 4 will still go on after Project Rene is released, saying that both titles “are gonna continue to exist side by side. We plan to support both at the same time and we’re gonna continue to bring even more exciting content to The Sims 4 for the foreseeable future”.

Lyndsay also explained how they may approach new game content differently for Project Rene, mixing new free features to the base game (which is confirmed to be free at launch) as well as paid DLC.

You can watch the whole interview starting at 8:34 on the latest Behind the Sims. Project Rene, which is a working title for the next The Sims game, has no release date confirmed

Behind The Sims Transcript

MERSEA: Okay, I’m super excited to have The Sims™ Queen Mother herself, Lyndsay Pearson, back today to chat with me about Project Rene and the future of The Sims™. Sul Sul, Lyndsay.

LYNDSAY: Hey, Mersea. I am very excited to be here today. And Sul Sul to our community. I am thrilled to be back and sharing what we are working on. I think it’s a really good time to be playing The Sims™.

MERSEA: 100%. Maybe it’s just the way I play, but my game really hits different each time. Can you tell us more about how your experience over the years is shaping and setting the stage for Project Rene?

LYNDSAY: Yeah, over the years, you’ve seen us introduce so many versions of Sims experiences, from The Sims™ to The Sims™ Online, The Sims™ Castaway, The Sims™ Medieval, Urbz. We’re always looking for ways to bring The Sims™ to more players and keep that charming character and creation center at the heart of what we make. What must we preserve to make this still a Sims game. And what can we do in this game that we couldn’t do before.

MERSEA: Right. During the last episode of Behind The Sims™, the team shared a look at a whole lot of work in progress with Project Rene. Is that how you’re trying to find that new vibe?

LYNDSAY: Exactly. And with Project Rene, we want to do things from the start that The Sims™ hasn’t ever done and try to do familiar things in a new way. Project Rene will be a new way to play The Sims™. Now, we’ve shared a few of those differences that we’re already exploring, such as the ability to play with friends and across devices, and we can’t wait to show you more of the gameplay itself. And I’m really excited to be building this new and different approach.

Project Rene and The Sims™ 4 are going to continue to exist side by side. We plan to support both at the same time, and we’re going to continue to bring even more exciting content to The Sims™ 4 for the foreseeable future.

MERSEA: Don’t get me wrong. I’m super invested in my Sims 4 storylines, but thinking about the different opportunities we’ve seen in like The Sims™ Castaway and Urbz which, by the way, one of my absolute favorites, it just makes me excited to think about how I’ll pop into Project Rene to play with friends.

LYNDSAY: We want to make it super easy for your friends to come and join you. We’ll actually have more to share about what multiplayer will look like in Project Rene in the year ahead, but I want to talk about one way specifically that we’re going to make it as easy as possible to join.

We intend for Project Rene to be free to download, and that means that when it’s ready and fully open to our players, you’ll be able to join and play and explore Project Rene without a subscription, without core game purchase or energy mechanics. We want it to be easy for you to invite or join with a friend, and that means extending an open invitation for everyone to play.

MERSEA: Really? Bombastic side eye?

LYNDSAY: We’re developing this game in a different way, and we’re bringing everyone along with us, and that means a lot of different phases of development, which can include everything from closed invites and small public tests to large-scale early access options. And yes, when Project Rene is ready, it’ll be available to download for free.

MERSEA: What does that mean for content in the game, like updates?

LYNDSAY: We want to focus on building something strong and cohesive from the start. It definitely won’t start with everything you have in The Sims™ 4, but we’re going to add new experiences and content to Project Rene over time.

MERSEA: Okay, so what might that look like? We talking DLC, packs?

LYNDSAY: Well, beyond regular updates to the core game, we will sell content and packs, but we want to change that mix a little bit. Let me give you a theoretical example. In The Sims™ 4, the only way to experience any weather was if you purchased Seasons. Now, in Project Rene, we might introduce basic weather to the core game for free for everybody. And then a pack for purchase might be focused on winter sports and could include activities like ice dancing or a snowman-building competition.

Building this way means that down the line, we could use wind or rain or clouds for other pack themes as well. Now, it’s a little early to know exactly where we’ll draw the lines, but it’s important for us to lower those barriers to play and give everyone the broadest shared systems because that feels like the best foundation to grow from.

MERSEA: That’s really interesting. I will definitely need to think about this some more and I’ll need to review this all again on The Sims™ Newsroom. Shout out to that team for the recap.

LYNDSAY: As we shared last time, we’re still exploring a lot of different ideas and we haven’t settled on all the details of everything, but it’s important for us to keep sharing. Stay tuned for more updates as we go. But for now, how about a quick summary? Project Rene and other Sims games, including The Sims™ 4, will coexist for the foreseeable future. It means Project Rene is not setting out to replace your current awesome Sims experiences. And because we want everyone to join The Sims™ party when it’s ready, Project Rene will be free to download.

MERSEA: Thank you so much for your time, Queen Mother. I can’t wait to keep learning more about Project Rene, so know that you are always welcomed on our couch.

LYNDSAY: Thank you, Mersea. Pleasure to be here.