#don’t get a tattoo right before jumping into a mosh pit

[lazylittledragon]

added some neck deeps to the collection

[xpeachesncream]

Hi! A drabble idea i have for perfectly wrongnis that in an alternative universe where y/n ends up with jk and tae is jealous so he goes after her, you can decide the ending 😙👉👈

perfectly wrong | drabble [8]: who said you didn’t want jeon jungkook the way he wanted you?

word count: 2.3k

warnings: cussing, jealousy, almost had a taehyung v. jungkook round 2, alcohol consumption, block party scene, slight angst?

note: (this takes place after chapter 12) HOHHHKAY, ANON! I SEE YOU! I LOVE THE SWITCH UP HERE! we are in this thangythang 🤪 gotta show our other baby some love, right? this also ended up being a lot longer than planned so i’m sorry lol i just didn’t know how to end it properly. enjoy!

Enough time had passed and you were tired. You were tired and you were over this shit. Hell to the no you were not gonna let this man keep on walking all over you. This was not you.

You picked yourself up and dusted off your shoulders.

You've deleted Taehyung's number for good. Tossed out all those memories, the need, the want for him. You pushed aside longing for that familiar feeling. You were done and Taehyung fucking hates it. If he wasn't mad before, he's livid now. He hates losing. And he knows after the shit he pulled at Jin's party with Aiko and the way he disrespected you, he lost you fair and square. He noticed how well you were doing even after the whole incident - clinging onto Jungkook and the public PDA, doing all the flirty, cute couple shit. It drives him crazy that it can't be him, and he knows he's to blame for his stupid antics and messy attitude. He truly can't say he regrets throwing fists at Jungkook. Somehow, Taehyung knew he was always going to lose this battle in the end. It was only a matter of time.

"Wakey wakey to my favorite couple!" Yoongi yelled, repeatedly opening and closing Jungkook's door before he finally had the nerve to jump on top of you two snuggled under his sheets. "Block party time!"

"Get the fuck off." You mumbled near the crook of Jungkook's neck, causing him to slightly chuckle as he tried to wake himself up. Yoongi didn't move, his body weight still fully on top of you two, so you did what you had to do and kicked him off.

"Aish! Agh, ow!" He laughed as he fell onto the floor, grabbing his shin. Jungkook shot his head up and began to laugh, watching as he dramatically limped out of the room. "Y/N kicked me off the bed." He begins to tell Hobi, in which Hobi faintly replied with a 'serves you right for going into the room like that.'

"Did you really have to do that?" Kook snickered as he booped your nose and watched you stir in your position. Jungkook, surprisingly, had easily welcomed the fact that you've passed the unspoken "bestfriend" boundaries over time and how you opened that door. The title alone is what gave you both those boundaries, but if it were up to him, he would have asked you a long time ago about taking this further. He loved you, he truly did. He always has, but he always respected you before anything else. He just wanted to make sure you were happy first and foremost, whether or not that meant being with him or someone else, so he never pressed it. Instead, he figured he'd let it naturally happen if it was meant to. 

For the most part, you were good and that's all that mattered. You were good even though Taehyung had the nerve to do this shit to you and to call you a meaningless fuck. You were good because you had someone like Jungkook that could make you feel safe and protected. This entire time had you wondering if the person you were really meant to be with was in front of you this whole time. Why were you chasing someone like Taehyung when Jungkook was here? All the shit Jin and your friends had tossed your way, teasing you about your relationship with Kook - maybe it was true. Maybe there was some truth to it. That's why you opened the door to see what the other side was about.

"100%." You sat up to fully wake yourself up from the nap. Kook gets himself out first and heads to the bathroom to get ready. Once it was your turn to get ready, he waited outside in the living room along with Yoongi and Hobi. There was a block party happening downtown, with Yoongi and his friends dj'ing for some part of it. There would be tons of local restaurants, beer, wine and other food trucks in attendance, along with other activities like face painting and temporary tattoo booths, shit you'd pretty much see at a fair.

You'd done a great job avoiding Taehyung and running into him head on, so you were hoping your streak would remain alive tonight. You knew he'd be there. There was no way he wasn’t going to. Taehyung and his friends were always present at any event.

His silence was a curse. Had always been. So if he had anything to say to you now, you didn't wanna hear it.

After sitting in the car, taking swigs of vodka from a water bottle and chasing with White Claws, you all find yourselves walking through the food trucks and booths. The block party is fucking packed from end to end on the street, with You, Jungkook and Hobi trying your hardest to stick together. Yoongi had ran off to the main stage, already starting his set as you three are trying to find a good spot to dance and chill at. Kook is holding your hand, but as soon as you all find a spot you agree with, he's bringing you to the front so you could dance with and on him. Really, it's nothing new to you two, the dynamic not really changing even if you were exploring new heights in your relationship with him. Your friends also really appreciate the dynamic between you, them never really feeling like they're third-wheeling or out of place.

When DJ Yoongi is starting to slow the music down, Jungkook wraps his arms around your neck, singing along and holding you close as you vibe to the beat of Southside by Lloyd and Ashanti. Hobi is standing next to you like Kris Jenner, recording Yoongi during his entire set and trying his hardest not to bounce around too much while recording. All of a sudden, Yoongi's friend hops onto the tables and shit gets turnt really quick. It's almost like a mosh pit, except you and Jungkook were able to make it out and Hobi is somewhere within the crowd trying to find Yoongi on the other end.

"Shit, where's Hobi?" You said while tippytoeing, trying to catch a glimpse of his head in the sea of people.

"He'll be okay, I think? Let's head to the other side and see if we can find him and Yoongi." Jungkook says, intertwining his hands with yours as he leads the way towards the other side. It's a little calmer on this side being that there's a barrier to block off the party from the sidewalk area. You two catch a glimpse of Hobi making his way towards Yoongi next to the stage, allowing you to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Ah, okay. I see him. Thank god." You say, pushing your back against the wall. You were just worried he would get hurt trying to find his way through.

"Hobi's a big boy." Jungkook chuckles, scrunching his nose. You two observe from the sidelines for a bit, figuring this is probably the safest area to stay at for awhile. "Hey, I'm gonna head to the bathroom, okay? You gonna be alright here?" Jungkook squeezes your hand as he looks down at you.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." He smiles toothlessly before planting a quick kiss on your head. You watch as he waddles off to the bathroom, a line starting to form around the corner just to get in like it's some kind of club. You lean your back against the wall, scrolling through your phone to keep yourself busy until he gets back.

"So, that's it, huh? Can't say I'm surprised, though." Taehyung says, coming out of fucking nowhere? He comes closer, nodding towards Jungkook's way. His eyes are piercing through you, and suddenly, every moment you had spent with him flashes in your head.

"Please get the hell away from me."

"Can we just talk for a minute?" Was he serious right now? Out of all fucking places?

"Talk about what, Taehyung?"

"Look, let me just say this. I'm sorry for how things went down at Jin's party. I—" He paused. "I didn't mean the things that I said."

"Then maybe you should learn how to think before you let shit come out of your mouth." You turn behind you to check if Jungkook is coming back anytime soon, but you don't see a sign of him. "I'm really not trying to do this--"

"Maybe next time you shouldn't come at me about toying with emotions." He's furrowing his brows, slight anger peeking through his eyes. He shakes his head before he steps closer to you, his hands dug into his pockets. "Can you really say that you're done with us?" He says softly, his gaze following from your eyes to your lips.

"Us?" You scoff. "There was never an us." You glare at him. "This is done. You said all of this yourself, loud and clear."

"Y/N, I was stupid. I just didn't know how to control my feelings about everything going on." His jaw slightly clenches.

"And that's your problem. You don't know how to control anything. You have things you need to figure out and quite frankly, I'm not trying to be around for it. I'm not waiting for you to get your shit together. I don't fucking deserve to put myself through this after all the mess you've caused, all the shit you've said to me." You shook your head "No."

"It's been Jungkook this whole time, hasn't it?" He scoffs. "You always denied it, but you knew it was always going to be him."

"Don't turn this on me."

"So, what? You think he's gonna do you like I did?" He comes closer, his breath hitting against the side of your neck. "Touch you like I did? Fuck you the way that I did?"

"None of that matters if you can't even pull yourself together and own up to your shit."

"You know this isn't what you want."

"And how do you know what I want, Taehyung? You don't even know what you want for yourself." He glares down at you.

"It's still you."

"Bullshit, you don't disrespect someone and expect them to come back. Not me." Suddenly, you feel Jungkook's hand around your wrist. You turn to see him and Taehyung having a stare off, afraid of what might ensue if you don't get Jungkook to walk away. You were not trying to have a Taehyung v. Jungkook Royal Rumble 2, not with all the cops and security present here.

"Are you serious?" Taehyung laughs. "If he's really the one you want, then whatever. So be it, I guess."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" Jungkook spits out as you grip his arm tightly.

"Just thought your girl might have second thoughts, that’s all." He smirked slyly while shrugging. The thing with Taehyung is that he knew how to piss of anybody. He just didn’t give a flying fuck.

"Taehyung, stop." You say, getting in the middle. "We don't have shit to discuss anymore, okay? This is done. Get yourself together before you think about fucking over somebody else." You slightly push Jungkook to walk away, his eyes still kept on Taehyung until you've placed enough distance between the two.

"What else did he say to you?"

"Nothing, Kook."

"Y/N."

"He just tried to talk to me about Jin's party and apologize."

"Apologize?" He furrows his forehead.

"Leave it, Jungkook. It's fine, alright?" He sighs heavily.

"Alright." Jungkook doesn't say much for the rest of the night, and so don't you. You both tried your hardest to push it aside and enjoy the rest of the night, but everyone knows the damage Taehyung has done and what that comes with. It's just awkward, and a really uncomfortable vibe whenever you two happen to cross paths again in one way or another. You weren't trying to be friends, you weren't trying to talk about anything. He made himself clear at Jin's party. You weren't shit to him. So why should you care?

After the block party, everyone is pretty tired and is ready to go straight to bed. You all take turns washing up and getting ready in Jungkook's apartment, Jungkook being the last to step out of the bathroom in a shirt and pajama pants. He watches you sit on his bed quietly, scrolling through your phone.

"Hey." He says softly, gently touching your arm to bring you closer to him.

"Yeah?"

"You know I care about you, right? You know how I feel about you." He says in a soft tone.

"I know."

"So then you know that your happiness is more important to me than mine. You're what matters here."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I know I tell you time and time again that you deserve better than Taehyung, but part of me also feels like I really can't stop you from feeling what you feel. If you--" His head drops as he sighs. "If you wanna work this out with him, just tell me." He says, genuinely concerned about your feelings. He knows he wouldn't hurt you but he's also partially afraid that you might be distracted since things didn't turn out well with Taehyung. Although, whatever, it's always gonna be a big fuck you to him. He's an asshole, and Jungkook was never going to change his mind about it. But what mattered here was you. Kook knew you deserved way better and he was willing to be that for you, but he wasn't going to force you if this wasn't where you truly wanted to be.

"I am happy. Right here."

"Are you sure?"

"Kook. That's done with. I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay." Is all he responds with before he's pressing lips into a fine line and squeezing your hand. He leans over to kiss you on the forehead before he makes his way out of the room to help your bestfriends get settled out in the living room.

[jj-lynn21]

You will remember things that we never said ch 1

Starring college rocker Axel Cluney

Music by Dolly Trauma: Morla , LIGHT BULB  

Character idea  Billofourtime 

Detrimental behavior courtesy of my college years lol

photo by @hiddlelecki

Warnings: aloofness, vulgar language/behavior, complete lyrics to songs

ch 2    ch 3    ch 4  ch 5     ch 6​   ch 7

Stephanie Westin had aspiration of becoming a great writer. She wasn’t sure a University degree in anything would help her. According to her family and friends that was the only place to go next. So, she applied to major in creative writing and minor in art. She was able to get a scholarship that paid for her courses, books and even included a meal stipend. She planned to work hard. Take the maximum load of courses each semester and be done in two years, maybe three at the most.

Axel Cluney never had anything handed to him. He worked his ass off from the time he could find a job outside of the house. He washed dishes in restaurants, mowed lawns and painted houses but when his Dad’s buddy, Derick, let him work in his tattoo parlor he had found his calling. That’s how Derick would put it anyway. Axel just liked the job didn’t get in the way of his other creative outlet, His band Zeigeist.

It was Derick who encouraged Axel strongly to get a degree in business with a minor in art so he could take over the tattoo parlor when Derick retired. Axel reluctantly agreed. Derick had practically raised him when his Dad ditched town a few years after his Mother passed away. Axel was fourteen and just wanted to quit school to go look for his Dad who never treated him very well anyway. Derick convinced Axel not to quit. He encouraged him to do better than Axel ever thought he could. He was a better Dad to him than his Dad ever was, which Axel never told him.

The first week of classes. Neither Stephanie nor Axel knew where anything was located. When they finally found room twelve in the creative art’s building, they almost bumped right into each other reaching the door at the same time from opposite sides. They looked at each other a second. Stephanie smiled. Axel just had a blank look on his face as he opened the door and let her go through first.

She sat up front in her fitted blue jeans and red V-neck long-sleeved t-shirt. He sat in the back in his long sleeve black turtleneck and dark denim jeans. She still noticed the tattoos on his hands and fingers. Also, how his green eyes seemed to make her nervous. Axel noticed how her wavy blonde hair fell to the opening of her shirt revealing the tops of her ample breasts. He licked his lips absentmindedly.

Come Thursday evening Stephanie already felt overwhelmed with schoolwork. The syllabuses she received from each class had reading assignments and project deadlines for the whole semester. But since she had the work in front of her she thought she would just get it all done in a few days or maybe weeks other than the tests she would have to wait for instructors to give her. She shared a dorm room with Bella. She only had seen her briefly at the beginning of the week.

“We are going to be great friends,” Bella hugged Stephanie tight when they first met. “We will have great adventures. Working towards a goal is great but you have to live life girl.”

Stephanie laughed at Bella uncomfortably. Stephanie likes her privacy bubble and studying towards her goals just fine. There would be time to “live life” later.

Bella opened Stephanie’s bedroom door when she got to their dorm room, “Come on and get ready Steph. Its Thursday night. You have all weekend to study. You need to go see my friends band play at Hide & Seek. We can walk so we can stumble back drunk if need be.” She laughed.

Stephanie looked at her like she was speaking a foreign language. “I’m fine. I just started organizing my studying, so I get the most done in the least amount of time. I have an art project due in a week. I need to do a portrait of someone interesting. So…”

“I will find you lots of interesting people.” Bella said. “It will be like your studying to find that perfect portrait specimen. You go this one time and if you don’t enjoy yourself, I will never ask you to come party with me again.”

Stephanie looks at her new roommate exasperated, “alright, I’ll go. What kind of music does your friends band play?”

“My friend, Rick, is in a metal band called Dark Breed.” Bella brushed her long ebony hair.

Stephanie took her hair down from the bun she always wore when studying. Then brushed it out adding a bit of shine oil to bring her waves back to life. Both girls touched up their makeup in the mirror.

“You are so easy to share the mirror with Steph.” She touched up her mascara. “Your so short I can see right over you.”

“Thanks,” Stephanie put some light pink natural looking lip stain on your lips. She wasn’t sure if what Bella said was really a complement, but she tried to look past short girl jokes she has been hearing all her life.

It’s a great evening for a walk. The air is crisp with fall smells as Stephanie and Bella walk to the club. Bella goes on and on about the club she is taking Stephanie to and how the people just welcome everyone that aren’t critical of others.  As soon as they walk in Stephanie hears the buzz of amps being setup. Some drummer practicing beating down hard on his set. And a guitar being tuned. She doesn’t even glance towards the stage as she paid five dollars and Bella pulls her over to introduce her to her friend that plays bass.

Stephanie heard some guitar, bass and drums form a song. Then a familiar voice starts to sing.

“Stick around. Talk to him. I would kill for love. I would kill for love. Stick around, for what you miss. He will spread you love, spread you…”

Stephanie looks up hearing the beautiful vocal backed up by a heavier sound. It’s the guy that opened the door for her Monday. He is covered in elaborate tattoos. His voice easily grabs Stephanie as everyone else around her continue to talk.

“Don’t believe in us from then. I will kill for love. Kill for love. Who are you now turning me down, turning me down, as long as you can cum we can fuck all night, as long as you cum we can fuck…”

Bella finally notices Stephanie’s infatuation with the sound. She smirks as she stands behind her with her hands-on Stephanie’s shoulder. “I told you, you would like it here.”

Stephanie said in a voice not quite comprehending her surroundings, “Yeah.”

“That’s Zeitgeist.” Bella said. “The singer is Axel. He’s hot, right?”

“He’s in one of my classes.” Stephanie said.

The song continues to play. “as long as you can cum we can fuck…they all want your legs, they all want your legs facing the moon…But do they cum into you…”

The crowd in front of the stage is moving to the music. The next song they perform starts off slow enough. But a mosh pit starts to circle. Rick and his guy friends stand in front of Stephanie and Bella so they can enjoy the music without having to be involved in the malay.

Axel starts in a soft voice, “Muscle was your man, and through your self-arising plan, you took this kindness that I showed in places special to their core, and shoved me out of your promising timeline, after give me those good signs, stranger tell me why you picked my brain to ask just where you might find…” The song starts to crescendo. The mosh pit starts to bounce off each other. “Come again my snow-white shroud, I will take your hand and you will say…” Axel’s voice gets gravely and deep as the pit starts bang into each other roughly and the music increases intensity. “My first seven days, my first breath of pain, you self-loathing bitch, your cut with need no stitch…” The music intensifies on as Axel bang his head holding the mic away. The pit goes nuts until the music slows again for another bridge of the song before Axel ends it with a howling scream while the people in the pit go nuts.

It’s the most amazing experience Stephanie ever felt at a concert and she had been going to concerts from right before she was born. Her Dad is a hippie rocker that took her to see Led Zepplin and Pink Floyd. Her mom is more into main-stream nineteen-seventies music taking her to see Captain and Tennille in which they let her sit and pet their dog on stage when she was a baby while they sang Muskrat love. And her name was already in a song that played on the radio because her mom and dad knew the singer. Her mom sat at the piano while the singer wrote the song and asked about her daughter. And that’s how her name got in the song.

Axel jumps off stage as his band cleans up their equipment. Some guy screams, “Hey Axel, sounds like you need some Pussy.”

Axel screams back at the guy, “Its not quantity. Its quality. And your girl is fucking finger licking good.” He licks his middle and index finger before flipping the guy off.  Then he turns seeing Stephanie a few feet away. He freezes like a deer in headlights.

Bella said, “Hey Axel, I guess you have seen Steph around but not been really introduced.”

Axel gains his composure. Stares with a hard ass look on his face and just nods. He leans over Stephanie to whisper something in Rick’s ear. He crosses his arms when he stands back up straight. Glance at Stephanie a second. Looks back at Rick, “Well?”

“Yeah, we can start with that, Axel.” Rick said. “Just tell your lead.”

Axel jumps back on the stage and whispers something to his lead guitar player before disappearing into the restroom. Rick takes his leave from Stephanie and Bella to get ready to play. Bella heads to the front of the stage. Stephanie is right beside her. A few husky guys get between them and the ever growing mosh pit. Axel’s band’s guitar player is on stage with Dark breed. So, there is two guitar players, bass, and drums as the lead singer for Dark Breed, Mick, takes the stage.

“We’re going to do something special for you tonight.” He said. “We only performed this with Axel & Todd one other time. Maybe some of you saw that performance. It’s called Light Bulb.”

The crowd goes crazy as Axel steps out on the stage again. “Fuck you Axel,” Stephanie heard someone say. Axel flipped them off.  He paces the stage as he prepared. Mick paced the opposite way. They both look like caged tigers ready to devour the crowd if let off the stage. There is silence in the room as the music begins.

Mick starts low just saying, “suffocate” in the back ground as Axel starts to sing, “Insatiable you pay again, for nothing for nothing, spongin the blood without defense, for nothing, for nothing, and all of this is on your knees, for nothing, for nothing, pulling the sheets over her feet, for nothing, for nothing.”

Mick whispers into his mic, “anguish, alone. suffocate”

Axel continues, “Your saving her, eight times a day, for nothing, for nothing, and when your late you must explain, for nothing, for nothing, you suffocate, you suffocate, for nothing, for nothing…On your own time, such a long time, It’s alright, broken ones enjoy those chains, And don’t fight, nothing ever gets away…”

Stephanie finds herself getting emotional over the melodic song. Bella sees her and stands behind Stephanie holding her. They sway as the song continues.

Axel sings, “Don’t say the word love. I remember you when you were alone, and you seemed as happy then. It’s alright, broken ones enjoy those chains, And, don’t fight, nothing ever gets away…from here…”

“From here,” growls Mick in the background.

Axel and Mick sing, “I don’t think I need this, just go away. And I’m sure I need this. Won’t you please stay…”

[naturepointstheway]

Caught on a bad day (Life is Strange fanfic)

In the alternate timeline where William is alive, Chloe tells Max the latter caught her on a ‘good day’. What if Max had caught her on a ‘bad day’ instead?

Max pauses in the middle of the path to the Prices’ door, taking in the changes to the house before her, with its fully complete blue paintwork and the ramp--

Wait. A ramp?

The Prices never had a ramp. 

Shit, shit, shit. What else have I done?

She tries, and fails, to stop herself from imagining the worst. Did she hurt Chloe? William? Or perhaps Joyce? Surely, people need ramps to their house all the time, not just people who need more accessibility due to a disability or aging. William and Joyce weren’t even that old anyway, so why would they need a ramp? Or maybe they were fostering or had adopted a child who needed a wheelchair. That had to be it.    

Chloe. Chloe... please be okay, God please be okay... 

She takes a deep breath, another, another, and still her chest squeezes back in the vice of anxiety. Panic swells inside her, turns her stomach with that bottomless sick feeling as she walks up to the front door, her hand poised to knock. 

Okay Max, you can do this. Come on. 

 She tries to swallow, but her throat is too dry, too parched with apprehension as she knocks gently on the door, stepping back to wait until someone—please, please let it be Chloe—answers. 

Instead, it is William that answers the door, immediately breaking out into a warm smile on seeing Max. 

‘Max Caulfield, we thought we’d never see you again.’

A rush of nostalgia and relief on seeing William’s still-warm smile swells in Max’s heart, despite the shock at the changes so far.

‘I could never abandon Chloe like that. I might not have kept in touch, but…I couldn’t not see her again after coming back here.’

‘Come inside.’

William steps aside, and Max, trying to keep down the rising panic squeezing at her insides, walks into the hall of the house at once familiar and strange. She hears the door click behind her, followed by William’s voice.

‘She isn’t in her old upstairs room anymore, Max, instead we’ve converted the old garage into a new room for her. Makes it easier for her to get around. Got her wheelchair and everything now.’

Wheelchair. Chloe’s in a wheelchair. Shit what have I done?

Max steps up to the door that once led into a garage, but now leads into Chloe’s new room in this new timeline. What has she done to her best friend, her partner in time and crime? She tries to keep her composure as William addresses her once again.

‘I must warn you, Max, she’s having one of her bad days.’ 

Max stares at the door; it’s so not right that there is no ‘wrong way’ sign. 

‘W-what do you mean?’

‘You already know about her car accident two years ago. Has she talked to you about it?’ 

Shit, shit, shit. 

‘I...don’t think so.’ 

‘A driver illegally cut her off, and she ended up...’ a heavy pause. ‘The accident left her paralysed from the neck down.’ 

Max leans a hand on the door, willing herself not to pass out. Chloe...Chloe paralysed. Neck down. Unable to feel a thing. Unable to dance, let alone go out to enjoy concerts and go down in the mosh pit.  

I fucked up. Well done Max. You’re a loser. A fucking loser. You don’t deserve Chloe. She deserves a better friend than you.

William’s hand on her shoulder brings her back to the present, or whatever present this fucked up reality is. 

‘Max, you look like you’re going to pass out. Do you need to sit down?’

‘N-no, I think I’ll be fine. I need to see Chloe. Please. I haven’t seen her in five years. Will she be okay enough to see me?’ 

‘She has very regular headaches like now, as her body redirects all the pain toward her head.’ 

‘God.’ 

‘But I think she’ll be glad to see you, nevertheless.’ 

‘Thank you.’ 

‘Are you sure you don’t need to sit down?’ 

‘No, I think I’m okay.’ 

William, despite clearly looking concerned for her, knocks gently on Chloe’s door, and opens it just enough for Max to see it is dark inside, like all the curtains have been drawn. 

‘Chloe?’ 

Silence. William opens the door a little more, looks inside, before turning to address Max. 

‘I think she’s sleeping right now, but feel free to go inside. It’ll be a pleasant surprise for her to see you when she wakes up.’ 

‘Thank you.’ 

William stands aside so Max can step through the door, and stops still on the threshold, feeling the blood drain from her face as she surveys the dimly lit interior, and the bed with—

Oh god, Chloe! My Chloe!

It is wrong, so wrong, so very wrong to see her best friend motionless in a hospital bed, hooked up to a ventilator, a drip, and God only knew what else. Even in the dim light, Max sees the thick tube running from Chloe’s throat to the ventilator with its silent vital sign readings, and she hates herself more than ever. It’s so wrong to see Chloe without her usual blue hair, instead left as its natural blonde. Instead of punk posters and graffiti, the walls are nearly bare, save for a photo here and there, and what appears to be a pinboard with desperately few bits of happiness and comfort tacked to the cork. 

What Max wouldn’t do to tear apart the house until she finds that goddamn photo, to undo all of this, even at the cost of William’s life, undo, rewind all the last five years, until she’s back in her old timeline, back with an able-bodied, blue-haired Chloe, and not this...ghost...

She wants Chloe, her Chloe from her timeline, her beautiful blue-haired badass, who dared her to kiss her in another time, in another morning, in another life. She’d willingly hunt for another hundred bottles in the junkyard if it meant bringing back the Chloe she’d grown up with, running around Arcadia Bay in their pirate get-ups. 

Max takes a deep breath, forces herself to step over the threshold into the dimmed bedroom, hearing William close the door behind her as softly as possible. Chloe’s head is still turned to the side, looking for all the world like she’s in a peaceful sleep, were it not for the soft ventilator-aided breaths, or the drip in her arm, or that tube running from her throat. 

This is my fault. All my fault. I’m so sorry, Chloe, you didn’t deserve this. You deserve to dance, to go to concerts, to dye your hair blue, to fall in love, to stomp around the house in your big boots...to...what have I done to you. My fault. My fucking fault. 

Max can’t help but think that Chloe in this reality has never painted her nails electric blue, nor etched a tattoo on one arm that Max has, on more than one occasion, wished she could sit and trace and trail with her fingers, following its designs from forearm to shoulder. Now, instead of a tattoo needle carving art into her arm, it’s a drip delivering pain killers into her bloodstream. Rather than a necklace of bullets, she has a tube taped in place to her throat. 

She can’t bear to look at Chloe a second longer, not now anyway, and turns her attention elsewhere, immediately spotting a wheelchair in a corner, her heart dropping to the core of the earth at the sight. There is enough light for Max, on closer examination, to see it also has a tube similar to what Chloe in the bed has now. Max reaches a tentative hand to the wheelchair, tracing her fingers over an armrest before pulling her arm back, fingers covering her mouth, brows knitted together as she fights back tears. She can’t move her eyes away from the odd things at the top of the seat, where Chloe’s head would be were she in the chair. Max wonders if they were there to help keep her head still. 

I can’t believe I put Chloe in that chair...or the bed. 

Max tip-toes away from the chair, not wanting to wake Chloe, and takes note of the sign on the bathroom door, and manages the weakest of smiles at the words. 

Gas masks optional. That’s so Chloe. 

What she wouldn’t give to see that ‘wrong way’ sign again. Strange how one can miss such a little thing that otherwise might be ignored as part of the scenery. 

She doesn’t dare touch the huge computer screen nor the mouth-operated joystick; knowing her clumsy self, she’d probably break it, though there was no reason she couldn’t use rewind to fix it. Still, better safe than sorry. She allows her fingers to trail along the edge of the desk, one foot in front of the other, back toward Chloe’s bed, and stops when she sees a familiar bracelet with spikes. Picking it up, Max allows a little pinprick of relief to see some sign of the Chloe she knew from her old timeline. 

Still a punk at heart, Chloe. Never change. 

Strange how something as small as a punk bracelet with spikes could make her feel just a tiny bit calmer, at least until she catches sight of the drip right in front of her, delivering morphine to her best friend’s bloodstream. She wishes she can block out the whoosh of fluid flowing from the drip into Chloe, lying so still right there.

Legs weak and shaky, Max moves to the small wooden chair across from the bedside, lifting it up to move it closer, but not too close, to Chloe. Slumping back into the seat, Max watches Chloe sleep for a moment, sees the way her chest rises and falls with each shaky breath, before she leans her elbows on her knees, letting her face drop into her hands, palms pressing into her eyes. 

It isn’t long before Chloe’s voice, hoarser and wearier than Max ever heard it, drifts into her ears. 

‘Either I have so much fucking morphine in me that I’m hallucinating seeing Maxine Caulfield, or you really are here. The fuck you been the last five years.’ 

Max raises her head to see Chloe has woken up, her face turned in her direction. But instead of the pissed off look Max expected, her heart skips a beat to see, instead, the smallest of smiles, one she hasn’t seen since...this morning, really, when she woke next to Chloe on her double bed after a night at the swimming pool at Blackwell. The smile, though sullied by the tension of pain in her eyes and the corners of her mouth, is still enough to melt Max’s heart. 

‘C-Chloe!’ Max has to use all her willpower not to immediately jump up and draw Chloe into a hug, lest she hurt her. ‘I’m really here.’ 

‘Damn, perfect timing as always, Max. You caught me on a craptastic day, dude. Shame, since we haven’t even seen each other in five years. Liked your letters and selfies but… could’ve made an effort to visit more often.’ 

‘I’m the worst.’ 

‘How long have you been here watching me sleep anyway, you creep?’ Max relishes the snarky tone—so Chloe. 

‘Not long, actually. William told me you were having one of your bad days.’ 

Chloe grimaces, turns her head so she stares up at the ceiling. ‘You have no idea. Doped up all day on morphine and my head still feels like it’s gonna implode. Or explode. Whichever happens first.’ 

‘Ugh, sounds crummy.’ 

‘God, I hate this. All of this.’ Chloe nods over at the machines, ‘Two years of this crap. Prick. Ditched my car with his SUV. Woke up in hospital unable to feel a thing, let alone move a muscle. Back snapping like a twig was last thing I felt.’ 

A shiver prickles at Max’s back, and she can’t help a little shudder of horror. 

‘Jesus. I... I don’t know what to say.’ 

‘Don’t.’ Chloe clenches her jaw, squeezes her eyes shut. ‘Fuck. Fuck. Sorry. Talk makes it worse.’ 

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t bother you.’ Max can’t help a twinge of guilt.

‘Shut up,’ Chloe’s voice is softer, but still painfully hoarse, ‘I’m glad you’re here.’ 

‘You are?’ 

‘Um, I haven’t seen you in five years. Of course I am. Makes a change from my usual visitors.’ 

‘Visitors?’

‘All the friends who never visited me or just left me all together.’ 

‘Chloe, I should have visited you more.’ 

‘Not like we could just waltz out of here anyway.’ 

‘I’m never leaving you again, Chloe, okay? I mean…if you need rest, I can leave you alone, read a book.’ 

‘Or we can still chat like old times,’ Chloe’s voice sounds more strained than before, her eyes closing almost against her will, ‘Don’t be surprised if I drift off again.’ 

Max allows a hint of gentle teasing into her words. ‘I’ll just think you’re bored of me talking about photos.’ 

‘Hey, if it helps me drift off with this fucking headache...can’t even with sunlight. Way too bright. Makes it even worse.’ 

‘It’s almost sundown.’ 

‘Still messes me up.’

‘That bad.’

‘All the pain is redirected to my brain. Funtimes.’

‘That sucks.’

‘You don’t say. No need to feel too sorry for me. I can do that by myself.’

‘You’re a survivor, Chloe.’

‘Platitudes I’ve heard before.’

Max hears a hint of that old familiar bitterness buried in Chloe’s words. Sure, not as bitter, nowhere near, but still, there it is.

‘I mean it, really.’ Max reassures her.

‘Doesn’t help when I’m like this. All doped up to eleven, and yet in so much fucking pain.’

Max glances back over her shoulder at the bathroom built for Chloe, still with that sign that is just so her. She turns her chair around a little so she faces Chloe more directly.

‘Your parents do so much for you. They really do love you. You’re here.’

‘More like they’re here for me, Max. They can’t even take a walk alone. It sucks.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Sorry for what? For me? No thanks. I get enough of that from people. I’m not an invalid, you know, lying here like some dying woman in a Victorian novel.’

There is a long pause, and Max casts around for something, anything else to say. Clearly, Chloe was not putting up with pity, something even Chloe in her original timeline wouldn’t put up with. She hated fake people, platitudes, and pity, and this timeline’s Chloe was no less different.

‘You have an impressive set-up with the computer.’

‘I can at least watch concert videos on that beast. And check out all the concerts. Hate myself for not being able to see them. Not today though, I’m in way too much pain to listen to any pirated youtube videos of concerts.’ Her words are broken by a series of dry coughs. ‘Throat’s dry already. Haven’t talked this much in a while. See if there’s water left in my cup. It’s on the dresser.’ 

Glad for something to do, Max stands up, walking over to the dresser with the cup of water. Grabbing the cup, she sloshes it around a little to check how much water there is in it—it seems to be nearly full. She returns to Chloe, sitting down next to her on the bed, bringing the cup close enough to Chloe’s lips so she can take a sip from the straw. 

‘Drink up, buttercup,’ she hears herself say, watching as Chloe drinks from the straw, eyes never leaving Max’s face. Max almost can’t bear to see how much love and gratitude there is in those soft blue eyes, pupils large in the dim room. She had forgotten how Chloe’s eyes had looked, before being hardened by bitterness and trauma from a world that had abandoned her. This Chloe had none of that trauma, and so her eyes were softer and more beautiful than Max ever remembered them to be. 

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—

Chloe presses her head back into the pillow, turning her mouth away from the cup, obviously having taken her fill. 

‘Thanks, Max.’

‘Always happy to help.’ 

‘Next time, grab me a beer.’ 

‘That’s…not going to help headaches.’

‘Wet blanket. I was joking.’ 

‘I know you were,’ Max assures as she replaces the drink on the dresser, ‘Is there anything else?’ 

‘Think...I might rest a while, Max. Like I said, caught me on a shit day. Go take some pictures or something.’ Chloe turned her head to nod at the shuttered window, with golden light leaking around the corners. ‘What do photographers call this time? Everything looks amazing at this time.’ 

‘The Golden Hour.’ 

A long pause, Chloe still staring at the curtained window, as though to reflect on this new piece of knowledge. For a time, there was little noise except for a bird twittering outside and the ventilator working to help her breathe. Max thought she might have drowsed off when Chloe turns her face back again to Max with a wan smile, her forehead crinkling with pain, eyes closed.

‘Learn something new every day, Max. Now thanks to you, I know.’ 

Max waits a few more minutes, still looking over at the window, imagining the view beyond. She realises she had not paid any heed to anything that was outside, but then again, her mind had been thinking only of one thing—or person, rather. Chloe, now lying before her in a bed, unable to move anything below her neck, stuck day and night, not unless she was in her wheelchair, able to move around at will, wherever she wanted. But all the most modern wheelchairs in the world could not undo her paralysis, could not help her feel anything below her neck again. 

Convinced that Chloe has dozed off again, Max quietly leaves Chloe’s side, returning to the bedroom door, opening it to the soft golden light of sundown. The house seems to be very still, except Max can smell something delicious wafting from the kitchen, and her stomach growls in anticipation of dinner. No doubt Joyce is in there cooking up a meal; Max wonders if Chloe eats much, and this idle thought is chased immediately by a jolting realisation that she likely has to be hand-fed her meals. 

God. No dignity for her. This sucks. Oh Chloe...

Bills and opened envelopes lie on both dressers and table, and Max cannot help but take a quick glance at them, without touching or being too obvious about it. She carefully suppresses any outward reaction on seeing the horrific bills they have to pay, even just for Chloe’s basic supplies. A newspaper article on the table catches her eye, and her hand flies to her mouth as she reads about the mysterious whale strandings on the beach. 

Has this anything to do with my powers? What the hell am I doing?

Strange how seeing an article on the stranded whales she’d seen earlier on the bus ride from Blackwell Academy really hit it home for her. This surely could not be a coincidence after the snow, the eclipse, and flocks of dead birds. Was the storm coming in this reality too? 

She was just fucking everything up, that’s all she was doing. 

Trying to take her mind off this shit, Max drifts to the sliding door facing out into the yard, spotting at once that their old board with their innocent childhood drawings had been moved from the space it usually inhabited in her original timeline. Why over there, across from what used to be the garage…

Oh. 

No doubt Chloe wanted it moved so that she could see it from outside her window whenever she could. So she could remember Max, even though there had been no visits from her for five years. No doubt seeing a reminder of Max gave Chloe hope that the former would come back someday to visit, and today that wish had finally come true. 

How fitting that the wish had been granted at the golden hour, a time that granted a touch of magic to every photographer’s framed shots. If only Max had her camera now, she might have taken a photo or two of the painting tinged by sundown, or of the bird on the fence, its feathers dusted with evening light. 

 A few hours pass Max by, spent exploring and reflecting on changes in this old familiar, and unfamiliar, childhood home away from home. She could not bear staying long in Chloe’s old room, bereft of the smell of weed and stale pizza, of the clutter of beer bottles and cans and piles of unwashed laundry, and the walls naked for want of punk posters and graffiti borne of a life ‘dipped in shit’ as Chloe had so colourfully described it yesterday. 

But then she is summoned to the stairs, eventually, by Joyce calling for Max, that Chloe is awake, that she wants to see her again. Chloe’s headache has simmered down a good bit, Joyce says when Max joins her at the bottom of the stairs. Not by much, she hastens to warn, but enough that she can talk again with Max, at least for a little while. 

Max doesn’t hesitate for even a moment, rushing back into Chloe’s room, shutting the door again behind her. It is still very dim inside, a small lamp on a dresser the only source of light, aside from the glowing screens of the machines hooked to Chloe, and the heat lamp’s glow. Again, Max’s heart skips a beat when Chloe catches her eye with a smile. 

Has she always been this beautiful when she smiles?

Max makes her way back to the chair next to Chloe, settling herself in it as she had before, stretching her legs out in front of her, at a loss for what to say.

‘Dude, stop.’ 

Max blinks in confusion, staring at Chloe. ‘Stop what?’

‘Feeling sorry for me. My parents and I do enough of that on our own.’ 

‘I just never expected it to be...like this...’ 

‘Well you never made much effort to find out either.’ 

‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘Just because I’m like this doesn’t mean I can’t do anything. Fuck, getting my wheelchair after months motionless in bed was so...freeing. Could actually move my ass around without help.’ 

Max glances over at the wheelchair in the corner. ‘It looks...very high tech.’ 

'My parents made sure to get the best. Even if it bankrupts them.’ 

‘All of this looks so impressive.’ 

‘I can go online, talk shit with other people, listen to music. I’m not just...sitting here like a sentient Christmas tree.’ 

‘What kind of music? Classic?’ 

‘Uh, no fucking way am I listening to that. Punk, rock, that’s more my thing. Something I’m sure you’re way into, right.’ 

Max can’t help but laugh a little, half in relief that this Chloe still likes the same music. ‘Uh...not really.’ 

‘Figured.’ 

A pause slips between them, Max shifting on the chair as though to find another comfortable position, while Chloe turns her head to study the ceiling. 

‘Sorry to be boring tonight, Max. We totally would’ve hung out on the beach or something.’ 

‘What? No, no you’re fine,’ Max leans forward, touching a hand on the blankets near where she thought Chloe’s arm was. 

‘I would totally watch Blade Runner tonight with you, but…pain. Joy.’ 

‘Do you…need more painkillers? Should I ask—’

‘Nah, stay,’ Chloe’s gaze falls back to Max, ‘Being here with you makes it less shitty. Really. I’m so glad I got to see you today, it took you long enough to visit me.’ A smile lilts on her lips, reaching her eyes, so stark in both gentleness and not-quite-hidden pain. ‘Seeing you here…reminds me so much of when we were kids running around Arcadia Bay, playing at pirates. Seems like so long ago when we were that young.’ 

Max lets out a soft sigh of nostalgia. ‘Seems literally like yesterday to me.’ 

‘Time flies, doesn’t it?’ 

‘We should’ve taken over Arcadia Bay while we still had the chance.’ 

‘But you will. You still have time, Max. And you’ll be photographing every little thing along the way.’ 

‘You know me well.’ 

Chloe winces a little again in pain. ‘Fuck. Shitty timing. Max, do me a favour?’ 

Max stands up, ready to do anything for Chloe. If she needed the world, the moon, hell even goddamn Pluto, she would do it. Chloe deserved so much more than this. 

‘Anything. Anything you want, I’ll do for you.’ 

An impish grin tugs up Chloe’s lips, her blue eyes catching Max’s. ‘Anything, huh? Because hot monkey sex would be nice right now too.’ 

Max opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out, even as a blush creeps up into her cheeks and she has to look away, hearing Chloe’s teasing laugh, pulling at her heart with its familiarity.

‘Oooh look, I made Maxine blush!’ 

Omigod, Chloe. You’re impossible. 

‘I…I’m…’ 

‘God, Max, you’re so adorable sometimes. Can you look in that drawer over there?’ 

Max finds the drawer Chloe wants her to open, and sees nothing but several tubs and tubes of medicated lotion.

‘Keeps my blood circulating. Or makes my headaches fuck off a little more.’ 

‘You need some right now?’ 

‘Yeah.’ 

‘Uh which one?’ 

Max finds the one Chloe wants and brings it over to her, unscrewing the cap. 

‘What should I do?’ 

Chloe gives her a look, raising an eyebrow. ‘I don’t know, unscrew the cap, pour lotion in your hand, rub hands together, then massage lotion onto my forehead and temples. Simple enough instructions.’ 

‘Think I can follow those instructions.’

Chloe closes her eyes as Max rubs her hands together, sitting next to her on the bed, placing her hands on Chloe’s forehead, feeling how soft her skin is under her palms, fingers massaging lotion into her temples as gently as she can, feeling the brush of Chloe’s hair over her fingertips. Close up, Max can see the deep bags under Chloe’s eyes, the very faint line forming between her eyebrows, and how thin and pale her face has become from so much pain and weariness. It’s strange to think this Chloe is nineteen, same as her Chloe in her old timeline, and yet she seems so much older beyond her years. 

Am I the same when Chloe looks at me, whether here or in my old time?

Her hands, so tender and careful, now still on Chloe’s cheeks, cupping her face between her palms, thumbs brushing over her cheekbones. 

‘Is…is that making it better?’ 

‘You’re good at this—hell of a lot better than the nurses.’ 

Max can’t help a little smile, moving a hand up to brush some of Chloe’s hair back from her forehead, letting the blonde strands slip between her fingers. 

‘Always wanted coloured bangs,’ Chloe says in a whispery tone, ‘Like Pris.’ 

‘Who?’ 

‘Blade Runner.’ 

‘Oh…I see. You’d look amazing with blue hair.’ 

‘Weird. I would have said the same for me.’ 

‘With a cool beanie to top it off when you go outside.’ 

‘Dressing me with your eyes are you, Max? Normally it’s the other way around.’ 

‘N-no, I mean...you’d look stunning.’ 

‘Never change, Max.’ 

Max draws her hands a little away from Chloe’s face. ‘How’s the pain now?’ 

‘Lot better than earlier today, and not as bad as it would be without you here.’ Chloe’s eyes open, meeting Max’s with a sleepy, yet achingly glad, expression. ‘You’ve made my day being here at all. Can’t believe we’re already on the cusp of adulthood.’ 

‘Yeah…me too.’ 

‘I keep wanting to go back to that time, when we were dorky kids covered in pancake flour…I still have that photo somewhere.’ 

Max’s breath catches in her throat, heart hammering. ‘You do?’ 

‘Yeah, in the album on my dresser over there,’ Chloe nods toward the wall beyond her ventilator. ‘Tomorrow morning, we can go on a trip down memory lane, get all mushy about ye olde days. Not tonight, not up for it.’ 

‘I can wait until morning,’ Max assures her, ‘I’m just happy we’re together again.’ 

‘Me too, Max. It’s been too fucking long.’ 

In this reality anyway. Was it just this morning Chloe had dared her to kiss her, and ended the day with an argument in her truck? Meanwhile, for this Chloe, and this Max, five years had passed since the last time they’d seen each other. At least this timeline’s Max made some effort to bother keeping in touch, even if she never visited. 

Max slung her legs up on to the bed, lying back as gently as possible until her head is next to Chloe’s on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. She allows her eyes to close, just for a minute or two, relaxing against Chloe next to her, trying not to think about how she cannot even feel the presence of her best friend next to her in the bed, like this was just another one of their old sleepovers. 

‘Some sleepover, this, isn’t it?’ Max whispers, seeing Chloe turn her head toward her out of the corner of her eye. ‘I mean…when was the last time we had a sleepover?’ 

‘Right before you left, actually,’ Chloe whispers back, ‘I missed our sleepovers. Or, rather, when you came here to sleepover with me.’ 

Max turns her head to meet Chloe’s gaze, heart skipping as she sees how close their faces are to each other. She still cannot believe this is the same Chloe she knew from her old life. So different and yet still just the same in so many ways. She wonders if this Chloe would ever have double dared her to kiss her. 

‘I remember. I don’t think we ever slept so much as stayed up as long as we could. We always pretended we slept all night.’ 

‘My parents always saw right through that.’ 

Max laughs a little, nostalgia mixed with sadness. ‘Yeah. Yeah they did.’ 

Chloe’s face softens into a small smile, her eyes never leaving Max’s, even as her eyelids start drooping again, drowsy from so many pain meds.

‘Max…you’re…you’re the only one I grew up with…who’s visited me…ever…’

Max shifts so she’s lying on her side, facing Chloe, foreheads just touching, the tickle of a strand of blonde hair against her own.

‘Chloe, I promise, I’m never abandoning you again. I’m never leaving you.’

A soft sigh, Chloe’s head tips a little against Max’s. ‘I love you, Max.’

Max allows her own eyes to close, drowsy from the stifling warmth from the heat lamp, and being so close to Chloe she could have kissed her again, like she had that all-too-brief moment this morning. She’s amazed she’s already so tired, her mind a whirl of shock, fear, love, and nostalgia, and still she finds herself drifting away, Chloe next to her.

Love you too, Chloe.

The photo could wait until tomorrow morning. For now, all that mattered was this Chloe, in this lifetime, in this thread of time.

[cruelangelstheses]

red jenny needs a rhythm guitarist!

fandom: dragon age rating: T characters: sera/female inquisitor, sigrun, charade words: 2k additional tags: modern au, punk rock band, first meetings, fluff description: one night while performing with her band, the red jennies, sera spots a beautiful girl in the crowd. a/n: this was supposed to be done for yesterday - @serappreciationweek day 3: headcanons/aus - but i was delayed due to having to evacuate for hurricane dorian lol. anyway this type of au is my fav thing ever and sera said gay punk anarchist rights

read it on ao3

—

The air thrums with anticipation. Backstage, Sera can hear the buzz of the crowd as she finishes applying her eyeliner, fucking it up on purpose because she loves the way it looks. She laughs and sticks her tongue out until it touches her septum piercing. Everything about her calls for chaos: old sneakers with holes in them, ripped skull-patterned shorts, spiked cuffs, tattoos on her arms, a black tank top hand-painted with the anarchy symbol, and a myriad of piercings in both ears—some studs, hoops, a chain, and an industrial piercing. One good thing about being an elf, she’s found, is that she has more space for them.

Behind her, Sigrun whistles the opening of one of their songs. “You about ready?”

Sera spins around in her chair and grins. “Frigging right I am.”

“Well, good,” Charade adds as she makes her way toward them, her bass guitar slung over one shoulder, “because I think they’re getting antsy out there.”

“Dagna said they were almost done,” Sigrun says as she takes a look in the mirror and smudges her eyeliner so that she looks a bit more...dead inside. Her knife earrings, black fingerless gloves, black jeans, and combat boots add to the “don’t fuck with me” look, complete with a black leather jacket that she’ll probably take off halfway through the set so she doesn’t die of heatstroke. Still, her dedication is inspiring.

As if on cue, Dagna, the band’s audio engineer, appears in the doorway of the dressing room. “Everything’s all set up,” she says with a smile. “Whenever you’re ready. Knock ‘em dead.”

Sera jumps to her feet and claps her hands together, grabbing her black-and-yellow guitar from off the floor. “Yes! Okay!”

In the center of the room, the Red Jennies form a tight circle. They’re a three-piece group, a “power trio,” with Sera as the lead singer and guitarist, Charade as the bassist, and Sigrun on the drums. It’d be nice to find a rhythm guitarist so Sera can focus on lead guitar, but they make it work. Charade has her hair tied back into a bun and is dressed in her usual getup: jean shorts, a t-shirt from the thrift store, and a plaid flannel, this one red.

Once they put all their hands in the center, Sera starts their chant. “Never mind the rich tits!”

“Never mind the bullshit!” Sigrun adds with a smirk.

“Never mind the bollocks,” Charade says, laughing.

Then, together, throwing their hands up in the air, they shout, “Here’s the Red Jennies!”

Sera leads them out of the room and up the stairs. The music playing inside the bar stops, and the crowd roars in excitement. They know what that means. It’s a relatively small venue, but it still packs a decent amount of people, and the show tonight is sold out—sold out for them. The Red Jennies are the main act. The idea makes Sera’s head spin.

Sera is the first person to step onstage, and the crowd cheers louder as the band takes their places, Sera and Charade plugging in their guitars and Sigrun sitting down at her drum set. Then Sera grabs onto the microphone with one hand and shouts, “Make some frigging noise, Wycome!”

As the crowd yells, Sigrun taps her drumsticks together four times to count off, and then they jump into their opening song, a politically-charged anthem aptly titled “Eat the Rich!!!” It’s one of their more “screamy” songs, which is why it’s first: perfect to pump up the crowd, as well as remind them why they’re here.

As Sera takes in the crowd, she notices a pair of bright purple eyes shining near the back of the venue. The fact that she can see them glowing all the way from the stage is enough to tell her that they belong to another elf, though she could’ve figured that out by the pointed ears poking out from underneath the girl’s mop of brown hair, as well as the distinctly Dalish tattoo that surrounds her left eye. She’s sitting at the edge of the bar with a drink in hand, watching the show with interest and looking as though she’s never seen the Red Jennies before.

For a short, weird moment, Sera feels...exposed? Judged? An age-old fear grips her, that she’ll be looked down upon—like always—or seen as uncivilized, crazy, a traitor to elves, perhaps all of the above if she’s unlucky enough. But then the girl looks right at her, right at her, and smiles, a snaggletooth grin that transforms her whole face, and those fears wash away, and Sera is herself again.

Alright, pretty elfy girl, she thinks. I’ll give you a show.

The concert is a whirlwind of jumping and sweating, of starting mosh pits and screaming her lungs out to a room full of strangers. It’s wild and cathartic, and no matter how many times she does it, she never gets tired of it—of reaching fans new and old, of hearing people yell her own words back to her, of music so loud she can feel it in her chest. When she’s surrounded by the wailing of her guitar, the heat of the stage lights, Charade’s voice on backup vocals, the rapidfire drums...that’s when she’s home.

Sometimes they hang out after a performance, and sometimes they don’t. Luckily for Sera, they have a day off between this show and the next, and they’re not planning on leaving Wycome until tomorrow, so they have some time to mingle. The girl at the bar only seemed to get more and more into the performance as it went along; Sera will be damned if she doesn’t at least speak to her.

She practically leaves her bandmates in the dust, as she heads back out into the bar barely ten minutes after the end of the show. “Sorry! Have to catch a pretty girl!” she calls over her shoulder. “Updates later!”

It takes a little while to get to the bar, since the crowd still hasn’t really dispersed. Since she’s small, it’s not difficult to weave through people without them really noticing, but she gets caught more than once by a fan. They’re wonderful, though, so she doesn’t really mind. Normally she loves talking to fans, and she still does; it’s just that tonight she has someone specific in mind.

It’s her lucky day. When she finally reaches the bar, she finds that not only has the pretty girl not left yet—the seat next to her is empty. Taking a deep breath, Sera pulls herself up onto the barstool and says, “Hey.”

The girl jumps a little and turns around, her eyes widening. “Oh. Hey!” she says, and Maker, her voice is so nice. “Great show, by the way!”

“Uh. Thanks,” Sera replies, already feeling her face heating up. The girl is even prettier in person, all tan skin and kissable lips and eyes like starlight. Sera doesn’t normally go for elves—too afraid they’ll think she isn’t elfy enough, and besides, a lot of them are too skinny and bony for her taste anyway—but this girl’s arms are more toned than most elves’, and her face is rounder and fuller. “I’m Sera. If you didn’t know.”

The girl giggles a little, rubbing the back of her neck. “I didn’t, actually,” she says sheepishly. “I’d never even heard of you guys until a few days ago. My brother bought two tickets and gave one to me. Don’t know where he is now, though.” She shrugs and takes a sip of her drink. “I’m Rana. Rana Lavellan.”

Her name sounds like music. Sera nods. “Saw you when I was up there, yeah?” she says, gesturing to the stage. “Your eyes are really...wow.”

Rana smirks a little. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

For a moment, they both just kind of stare at each other. Then Sera clears her throat and says, “You ever listened to any punk before us?” She smiles mischievously. “Or did we take your punk virginity?” She says the last bit in a more dramatic voice.

Rana laughs. “Unfortunately, no, you did not,” she says, “though that would’ve been something. My brother invited me because he knew I liked your kind of music.” She deepens her voice in order to impersonate him. “‘Rana! You have to check out this band! They’re a bunch of punk rock lesbians singing about eating the rich! All your favorite things!’”

They both laugh at that. Then Rana adds, “Sometimes I think I’d like to be in a band. But I don’t usually get along well with other people. I have to really click with them, or see something in them that makes me want to talk to them.”

Suddenly, Sera feels immensely honored to be having such a fantastic conversation with her. “Oh!” she says. “What instrument do you play?”

“Guitar.”

Sera swears that the stars align right then and there. “Wait,” she says, trying not to get too far ahead of herself just yet. “Can you play rhythm?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Rana replies immediately, and then it starts to dawn on her. “Oh, yeah, I noticed you’re the only guitarist—”

“Want to join the Red Jennies?” Sera blurts. She can feel her heart pounding in her chest.

Rana blinks a few times, somewhat taken aback. “I...didn’t realize you guys were looking for a new member.”

“Well, we’re not, like, putting up ads on Craigslist,” Sera says, speaking quickly, “but we think it’d be nice to have a rhythm person if we could find one, ‘cause then I can do more cool shite on lead.”

Rana seems to think it over for a few moments, and then she nods. “If the other members will have me,” she says, “I’d be honored.”

“They will!” Sera says, finally allowing herself to get excited. “Really. Sigrun looks scary, but she’s lots of fun. And Charade’s a sweetie. Kind of have to work to get on her bad side. It’ll be good! Promise!”

Something twinkles in Rana’s eyes, something like amusement or endearment or pleasant surprise. Her face breaks into that beautiful snaggletooth grin again, and she says, “Then I would love to join the Red Jennies.”

Sera has to cover her mouth to stop from yelling with joy. Holding an index finger up, she pulls out her phone and sends a text into her group chat with Sigrun and Charade: I GOT US A RHYTHM GUITARIST!!!! SHES CUTE AND COOL AND LIKES PUNK AND HATES THE RICH AND I THINK SHES GAY???? DSJFDKFLKSJKD

Charade replies with some shocked and happy emojis. Sigrun says, pics or it didnt happen

Sera tries not to laugh. “They want a picture!”

Rana raises an eyebrow, but there’s a good-natured smile on her face. “Alright.”

Sera opens up the front-facing camera and holds her phone up so that both of their faces are in the shot. Sera does her standard pose—putting a peace sign up to her mouth and sticking her tongue out—while Rana just stares into the camera with a serious face, like she’s posing for a fashion magazine or something. Sera wonders if it’s possible to die of gayness.

When she sends the selfie into the chat, Charade says, Ahhh Sera that’s amazing!! Can’t wait to meet her!!

Sigrun writes, oh she’s definitely gay

Sera grins and turns to Rana, who is watching her expectantly, as if she’s expecting Charade and Sigrun to hate her. “You’re in, Buckles!”

Rana cocks her head. “Buckles?”

Sera nods. “Right. Buckles. That’s you. Said you’re not too good with people, yeah? Like a boot buckle. Serious. But take the boots off, and there’s the softness.”

Rana stares at her in awe for a moment. “You came up with that just now?”

Sera shrugs. “Well. Maybe a few minutes ago.” Suddenly feeling self-conscious, she adds, “I can change it if you think it’s stupid.”

Rana shakes her head and smiles warmly. “I don’t think it’s stupid. I like it. I think it’s kind of brilliant.”

Sera tries not to blush and glances down at her phone, where she sees another message from Sigrun. This one reads, Go get her, tiger.

Sera grins. “Well then, Buckles,” she says, “welcome to the Jennies.”

[daniactuallysnuffledthatpopcorn]

All They Wanted

Summary: Two pop punk fans meet at a concert and spend a little too much time in a public toilet together.

Rating: Mature

Genre: AU + smut

Word Count: 2.9K

[A/N] Written for @phanfichallenge, the Phandom Writing Challenge 7: the Songfic challenge. Song: All I Want by A Day to Remember. Beta’d by Sam (thank you!!).

“Thanks.” Phil held his new shirt to his chest as he moved through the masses, away from the merch table. In a quiet spot by the cloakroom he pulled his jumper over his head and stuffed it in his backpack. When he looked up to pick up his new shirt, he found a boy watching him. He averted his gaze when their eyes met, but Phil had already seen him.

“Enjoying the view?” He joked, face flushing.

Fortunately, the boy picked up on his attitude, “Yeah, I have a big thing for skinny white boys.”

Phil couldn’t help but laugh at that and he shook his head as he pulled the shirt on. “Well, I have a thing for voyeurs, so you’re in luck.”

“I don’t seem to be in luck, you’ve put your shirt on.”

Okay, so this guy was cute and joking around with him, but was this flirting or just friendly banter? Phil was exceptionally bad at distinguishing the two.

When he moved over to the counter to hand his bag off, the boy followed at a comfortable distance.

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asked when Phil turned back around to face him.

Okay, so flirting it is.

“Definitely.”

As they made their way to the bar, Phil kept stealing glances at the boy next to him; at the way his curls kept falling into his eyes and how a few lines of a tattoo peeked out of his shirt when he moved.

They both ordered a beer and sat down on the bar stools. “What’s your name?” Phil asked, leaning back and bringing the glass to his lips.

“Dan.”

“I’m Phil. Nice to meet you.”

“You too. Is this your first A Day To Remember show?”

“Nah, I followed them around for a few weeks last summer.”

“In the States?”

“Yeah, it was cool.”

“Wow, mate. This is my first time seeing them, but I appear to be in the presence of a connoisseur.”

Phil laughed, “I like the tunes. I don’t really get involved with anything else surrounding them, to be honest.”

As if on cue, a mass of loudly chattering fans walked past them, making him unable to hear the other until they’d passed. Phil liked loud music, but he wasn’t much into the loud devotees surrounding it. He watched the group leave before turning his attention back to Dan.

“So, you’re one of those guys who stands in the back and nods along?”

“Usually, though sometimes I switch things up and stand by the bar instead.”

“A show not moshed is a show not enjoyed.”

Phil laughed and clinked their glasses together, “Cheers to that.”

“Seriously, come in the pit with me tonight. I’ll show you a good time.”

“Show me a good time, huh?”

“Yep, however you want to take that.” Dan raised his eyebrows suggestively, but only managed to keep his composure for a second before breaking into a goofy grin.

“I think I’ll take you up on that.”

--

As the doors opened and the masses started to flood into the hall, the two men left their glasses deserted and followed the mob. When they were almost pushed away from each other, Phil reached out, grabbed Dan’s hand, and pulled him back to him. “Stay with me. You haven’t showed me a good time yet.” Phil shouted over the music, leaning in close to Dan.

Dan led them to the side of the crowd, fairly close to the stage. “Perfect entry into the pit later,” he explained. They bopped their heads along to the warmup tracks and watched stage techs set up the instruments for the opening act.

It wasn’t until they’d been standing around for nearly ten minutes that Phil realised neither had actually let go of the other’s hand. He glanced to his side for a moment, but Dan was distracted by a scuffle happening a few yards away from them. Their hands were squeezed in between their bodies where they were pushed together by the crowds, and Phil wondered if he should let go.

He didn’t.

--

Dan kept quite still during the opening act, jumping a few times but otherwise staying in place. He half-heartedly mouthed along to a few of the choruses but he clearly wasn’t too familiar with the band. Phil had looked them up on Spotify the day before, but they weren’t his cup of tea. Bands were always better live though, and he had to admit he was enjoying their performance. The fact that the front man was cute helped too.

A small mosh pit had opened up near the front of the audience. Phil eyed it nervously as the fans slammed in to each other and pushed each other around. When Dan caught him looking he squeezed his hand and grinned at him.

So, he had realised they were still holding hands too.

--

Phil was grateful for his earplugs when the main band finally came on stage. Someone next to him jumped on his foot in excitement and the first crowdsurfer was already being hoisted up. They launched into the first song and Phil gave Dan a questioning look. Not yet, Dan mouthed in response.

And so, Phil lost himself in the music. He jumped along and shouted the words and reached his free hand towards the stage, eyes trained on his favourite band. He was being pushed and shoved from all sides but he barely noticed. The room around him had faded away and there was just him, the people on stage, and the music that had saved his life countless times.

When he felt a tug on his hand he was almost annoyed for being dragged out of his daze. Then he realised what was happening, and followed Dan to the pit. He couldn’t hear him, but he was pretty sure Dan shouted, “Let’s go!” at him before throwing himself right into the middle of the action. Phil hesitantly stood by the side for a few seconds, taking deep breaths and squaring his shoulders, until he was ready to jump in.

He was immediately absorbed into the movement, pushed forwards and backwards and into bystanders. It was an unpredictable rhythm that he quickly got used to and moved along with. This would definitely leave him with some painful bruises the next day, but God, he felt so alive.

He found himself cheering along when Jeremey McKinnon, the band’s lead singer, shouted something at the moshers. For those few seconds of relative calm, he made eye contact with Dan and found the other looking back at him. They were both sporting wide grins and lively eyes, and they shared something unspoken in that short moment before they were pushed onwards.

--

Halfway through the set, Phil was dragged out of the pit, to the front of the audience. There, safe from the pushing and grabbing but still high on adrenaline, he pulled Dan to him and kissed him.

Dan responded immediately, moving his hand through the hair on the back of Phil’s head and opening his mouth.

It was a moment unmatched by anything Phil had ever felt before. Surrounded by fans shouting the words to one of his favourite songs back at the band on stage, sweaty bodies too close together, all senses heightened. The flashing lights pierced through his eyelids and kept his heart beating at top speed.

Dan didn’t give him the chance to recover and bring his heart rate down to a healthy speed; the moment they broke apart, he was already pulling him back to the pit. Phil felt high on life, jumping in without hesitation this time and falling right back into the rhythm of the mosh pit.

--

The show went by too fast.

Phil hurt all over from moshing, but it was all worth it by the time the band went into the encore and the pit thinned out and eventually disappeared. He grabbed Dan’s hand. The two of them smiled at each other for a moment before joining the rows near the front of the stage to enjoy the final songs.

Gigs were entirely different this way. He was used to staying in approximately the same place and having some drinks. He’d never expected moshing and making out to feel so right and so perfect, especially after he’d rolled his eyes at kissing couples before plenty of times.

They stayed and watched the techs clear the stage after the show. Dan picked up some confetti and stuffed it in his pocket, and Phil sat down amidst the red paper. Behind them the masses of fans cleared the room and left them with the crew, who was breaking up the decor. The night was coming to a close, and Phil wasn’t sure what was going to be left of him and Dan after they left this hall.

“Ready to go?” Dan offered him his hand and pulled Phil to his feet. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

Was this an invitation?

“Yeah, me too.”

He wasn’t, really. But he’d take any excuse he could get to spend more time with Dan at this point.

“I know this great burger place just a few streets over, should be open at this hour. I’ve never seen them closed.”

“Alright, yeah let’s go.”

Their feet left trails in the confetti littered around and Phil couldn’t help but follow Dan’s example from before: he picked some up and put it in his pocket.

“I have a book at home,” Dan said, “of just little summaries of gigs and confetti and pictures. I love remembering the good times I’ve had.”

Phil’s mind wandered, wondering if Dan had done this before. Had taken on a random stranger and strung them along, just for the night.

They picked up their belongings from the cloak room, and Phil was grateful to have a jacket in his backpack when they stepped outside. It was chilly and dark, a starless sky stretching out over their heads with only the luminous signs on the storefronts around them to light the streets.

As they walked further into residential neighbourhoods and left the city centre behind, it got darker around them. A heavy silence had settled over them, and it didn’t lift until the bright lights from a burger joint lit up in front of them. The shop looked out of place, as if it had been picked up from its original spot and dumped in a random place, which just happened to be smackdab in the middle of a quiet suburban street.

Going inside was like stepping into a different dimension. There were some people casually sat at the bar drinking coffee, and two women were sharing some chips in one of the booths. Nothing gave away the fact that it was close to midnight on a Thursday evening.

They each ordered a burger at the register and chose a table as far from the other people as they could. Phil finally took a moment to properly look at Dan for the first time since they’d shared those beers before the gig. His hair was curlier now from sweating in the mosh pit, and he looked tired but content. Phil didn’t even want to know what he looked like himself.

“How was your night?” Dan asked, leaning back in the booth with one arm casually swung over the back off the sofa.

“Fucking wild.” Phil said before he could filter his speech.

Dan broke into a toothy grin, “Yeah, same. I didn’t get to crowdsurf, but I got to kiss the hottest guy at the whole event, so I think I won.”

Without missing a beat Phil said, “Yeah, but I participated in my first mosh pit and kissed the cutest guy at the event.”

Their feet brushed together under the table, sending a shiver up Phil’s spine. Their eyes met and in that moment, they seemed to somehow think the same thing. Making sure no one was watching them, they snuck out of their booth and into the bathroom.

The men’s bathroom was grim, to say the least. It was just about the last place Phil in his right mind would want to have an intense make-out session, but it was the only available place right now and he was desperate. The moment the door was locked behind them, he had Dan with his back pressed against the door. Their lips met in the middle and for a few minutes there was nothing but that kiss and Dan’s hands grabbing at Phil’s shirt.

Then the last part of his brain that was concerned about hygiene went out the door and he was pulling at Dan’s belt. Dan was immediately impatient, pushing Phil’s hands away and undoing his jeans himself, pushing them halfway down his thighs. His eagerness was briefly eased as Phil started kissing his neck, going down from just under his jaw to the hem of his shirt, pulling it aside to expose more skin. He let his hands run down Dan’s torso as he sank to his knees.

Dan, realising what was happening, sighed and leaned his head back against the door. His hands tangled in Phil’s hair, as the other wrapped his fingers around his cock and pumped up and down a few times before taking the tip into his mouth.

He had one hand at the base of Dan’s erection, the other on his slim hip. His nails were digging into the skin on his abdomen, but neither of them really noticed.

Dan was clearly trying to keep quiet, muffling his moans and biting his lip. Every so often he suddenly took a deep breath, as though he just realised he hadn’t been breathing for a while. Phil was going mildly insane on the floor, his own cock painfully pressing against the zipper of his jeans. He paused what he was doing momentarily to readjust it into a less unpleasant position. This gave Dan just enough time to collect himself a little and whisper a “fuck,” under his breath.

Then Phil’s mouth was on him again and he let out a whimper, caught off guard.

Phil could feel that he was getting close, his legs were trembling a little and his abdomen was all tensed up. “Phil,” the boy said softly.

Phil didn’t respond, instead tightening his grip on Dan’s hip and taking him deeper into his mouth. Dan shivered as he involuntarily bucked his hips. He came hard, fingernails grazing Phil’s head and jaw going slack. Phil worked him through it. He moved his hand along the base where his mouth couldn’t reach.

When Dan took a shaky breath, his first normal breath in a few minutes, Phil swallowed and got to his feet.

“God, you’re hot.”

Dan grinned as he pulled his trousers back up and buckled his belt, “Let me catch my breath. I’ll return the favour.”

“Nah, this one was on the house. Before the gig you told me you’d show me a good time and you did. Thanks for that.” Phil stretched out his stiff limbs and rolled his neck. He was still uncomfortably hard, but the high was over, making him realise where he was and what he was doing. The restaurant staff may not have cared or noticed before, but if they kept the only toilet occupied for even longer people might start getting suspicious.

“Pretty sure you repaid that three times over just now.”

They did their bests to clean themselves up in the dirty bathroom stall before going back out. No one in the restaurant seemed to care much about what had just transpired right under their noses. They didn’t even bat an eye as Dan and Phil suspiciously walked out of the single men’s bathroom together and back to their booth. Their food had arrived while they’d been away, but the burgers were still warm.

Phil flushed his mouth out with some coke and inconspicuously sloshed it around his mouth for a few seconds.  

“Remember when I said I’d never made out with anyone at a concert before?” Dan asked. He was speaking quietly enough that Phil knew he was about to say something about what they’d just done.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’ve never gotten a blowjob in a bathroom at a burger place before.”

“Especially not at midnight on a Thursday, I’m sure.”

“Whereas you have, of course, given plenty of blowjobs on Thursday nights in public toilets.”

“Yeah, this was my third.”

--

They sat on the curb as they waited for their Ubers. Neither of them had brought up their impending separation, and Phil wasn’t about to. A car turned the corner and slowed to a stop in front of them. “Uber for Daniel?”

The two of them got to their feet, and Dan pulled Phil into a hug, “Thanks for tonight.”

“This was the best night I’ve had in a long time.”

They shared a short kiss under the streetlight in front of the strangest burger place Phil had ever been to and when they pulled apart Dan immediately got into the car. “Call me.” He said.

Phil raised his eyebrows, “But I-”

“Check your pocket.” Dan gave him one last smile, then closed the door. As the car drove off, Phil patted down his pockets and found a napkin in the left one of his coat. A string of numbers was scribbled in a corner in blue ink. He grinned to himself, clutching the paper in his hand as he realised that Dan intended on returning the favour sooner rather than later.

[verytamenow]

Reputation Tour Movie: Reactions

On the off chance anyone has wanted to know what it’s like to deal with my commentary when I will not shut the fuck up, click that read more to get my Reputation Movie commentary!

Opening

- Taylor is the most extra bitch. I love her.

- Opening video still gives me chills

...Ready For It?

- The strobe lights make this as sometimes irritating to watch as it was live. Which is a pity because I love the performance.

I Did Something Bad

- Will idsb ever not give me chills and murder me?

- I want her to bite me when she snarls

- Her hips. The idiot giraffe is blessed.

- Her vocals

- Fuck Me Up

- The most precious happiest koala😭

- (spots a rep room wristband) lucky bitch

Gorgeous

- I’m So disappointed a step above gorgeous being gorgeous didn’t get immortalized in the tour video

- The assholes (I say out of jealousy) with the triangles. Why didn’t we think of that!

- “And I’m Taylor” Bitch I hope so. I spend so much on your ass.

- Stop looking like that Taylor it makes me feel things

Style

- I get why style made the set list and love the songs but justice for ootw

- That guitar riff gives me ALL THE FEELS

- yes bitch strut! Thank you Karlie Kloss

Love Story

- Aww all the throwback and legacy feels 

- Is it legal not to jump during this song?

- Boop.

- “I keep waiting for you but you never cum” is probably not a problem Taylor has. On either end.

You Belong With Me

- (proceeds to bounce in place because Taylor owns me)

- The parent holding up her daughter is Kristen in the future

Look What You Made Me Do

- The lwymmd pre video is my sexuality

- I want murderess snake queen Taylor to end. my. life.

- Would let her choke me

- I’m the bitch mouthing oh my god

- This is my favourite part of the tour ngl

- THAT SMIRK

- side note: also remember when we thought it was a dragon and not a snake?

- She really snapped and killed a bitch with this song

- THE INTENSITY WENT OFF AND HOW IS PIT NOT LOSING THEIR SHIT

- like mosh or something fuckers

- KARYN!

- I weirdly love the back vocals she recorded for lwymmd. The short “ah”s really make it

- The sass

- A queen

- I’m so gay

- This is why I’m doomed with whoever I date

End Game

- The disappointment Ed never guested on the tour

- The choreo for this is 🔥

- I mean all of it is but her hips

- Her legs are worth every penny of 40 million

- The hand over the face bit is an objectively weird closing move

King Of My Heart

- How do we actually make her America’s queen

- This is the softest song

- I stan komh so hard

- Like I love delicate but this is just as soft. Softer even

- I love I’m getting to see the other half of the choreo because we sat on the left side each time

- Up on the roof with a school girl crush /  Drinking beer out of plastic cups / Say you fancy me not fancy stuff / BABY ALL IT ONCE THIS IS ENOUGH

- This is the closest we’ve come to a poc love interest in anything she’s filmed. Except the End Game MV sort of.

- We didn’t stan the dancers hard enough

- The drums made this tbh

Delicate

- Oh gods I’m not ready for the delicate speech

- I’m the dude who screamed he loved her

- Bless the rainbow dress

- “Shit is that what is was on my wrist? I thought her stalker and taylurking ways had just finally gone to tracking bracelets.”

- (knock at the door) Me, pausing: umm I blocked out this entire 2 hours for our lorde and saviour Taylor Swift???

- (Scott Swift voice) I’m going back into my zone

- The lights are so pretty. No wonder Taylor loves the bracelets

- Bitch we know your unreleased stuff

- Do let’s go/battle as a surprise song and be shook

- 1! 2! 3! LET’S GO BITCH!

- Can you believe she flew right over us

- That little dance. She’s so fucking precious

Shake It Off

- B stage. Remember how she gave invisible to the gays

- And finally played breath

- The only redeeming thing for shake it off is that she made it as gay as she could

-I still wanna know what inspired “my ex man brought his new girlfriend...to the fella over there with the hella good hair” bit

- What did Di do? And who did Taylor hit on? Or is Karlie the one with the hella good hair?

- Giuseppe got down on one knee long before Karlie ever will

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

- How smug was Taylor when her jump to pop worked?

- There must have been so many I told you so’s

- It started raining. The closest I’ll ever come to a rain show.

- I can’t believe she played this song in Nashville with Karlie right there and kept her shit together

- Taylor’s never more magical then when it’s just her and a guitar

- I would give anything and go deep in debt to go to an acoustic show

- This filter was unnecessary and such a call out

- She had one fuck left and it’s name is alliterative All Too Well

- I hope she keeps doing acoustic surprise songs like this next tour. Where it’s a set thing.

- I’m so relieved she approves of lyric tattoos. Like....imagine if she didn’t and I have my entire forearm

- Put down your fucking phones and watch her be magic personified

- Also fuck this song for being so powerful

- The way she sings the bridge

- Now did she really lose the 12 minute version or is it just a little too obvious who it’s about

- Her wink! I’d die

- Is that chick okay? Did she live?

Blank Space

- The crowd walk! I’m still so so fucking endlessly proud

- Look at her!

- My precious angel reclaiming walking through her fans

- How the fuck are these people not dying tho?

- Still want her to hit me in the face with the golf club

- And kick me in the face with her boots

- This is also still my favourite mv

- It was so perfect

- This is also quality choreo. I wouldn’t have made it had it seen it right in front of me

- Gay icons

Dress

- Holy fuck dress is so gay

- Like.....we been knew but still

- This song is why she didn’t dare film in Nashville

- The vocals should be illegal

- Like, they’re NSFL (Not Safe For Lesbians)

- The first time she did that (strip tease thing) and the Nashville show were the best ones

Should Have Said No / Bad Blood

- This is still the most fucking random mash up

- I mean it works and redeems bad blood but wtf

- The person sitting on someone else’s shoulders has to really be pissing off someone else who can’t see

- Aggressive banjo

- Can’t believe she puts on a show and sells like this and Borschetta wouldn’t give her the masters. Idiot

- The dudes dangling are braver than any US Marine

- Instead she negotiated for better artist pay AND her future masters. The Legend jumped out

- I remember watching this the first time and being briefly confused because this sort of drawn out thing is what they normally do for show closing but it was too early

Don’t Blame Me

- Oh fuck here we go

- THIS IS MY FAVOURITE TOUR OUTFIT

- PERIOD

- ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES

- this entire fucking performance. No words

- I love all the dude dancers had the blinders like headgear. As if such powerful sapphic love is distinctly not for their consumption

- I have found religion

- I stan a queen

Long Live / New Year’s Day

- I love she knows how many people work on the tour and genuinely appreciates their effort

- I hope this mashup sticks around, at least as the surprise song at the closing show of the next tour

- I’m not crying you’re crying

- Hold on to the memories, they/I will hold onto you is one on my favourite lines she’s written

- Along with with please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

- Oh my fucking god stop letting her be this precious

- Remember how fucking loud we were in Denver?

- This is my favourite moment of the entire show - for her. You can tell how much it means to her

- She owns my ass and wallet forevermore

- “I had the time of my life....with you” is a whole emotional mood

- Her quick little thank you 😭

Why She Disappeared

- Oh that’s the first time I’ve heard the echos

- Those boots probably cost more than my life

- This should have been the close or open of the getaway car mv

- Imagine if it shows up in an mv next era. Starts with a car on a pink x

Getaway Car

- The 1989 neon is an interesting choice

- Is that the shift to pop being a getaway or the close of the 1989 era being one? (More thoughts on this later)

- Hits you like a shotgun shot to the Heart is a fucking amazing line

- I loved that bit straight away

- I can lowkey see getaway car being about switching labels tbh

- This last album maybe IS the getaway car (more, again, later)

Call It What You Want

- Ciwyw is one on my favourite love songs of hers

- Trust him like NO OTHER was right at her fingertips

- Who the fuck would say no to running away with her?

- I would let her RUN ME OVER, running away WITH her? Fuck yes

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together / This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

- WANEGBT/TIWWCHNT is a brilliant mash up

- But fucking ridiculous to type

- “But I’m not the friend you’ve lost lately” is the shadiest fucking line and I love it

- I’m disappointed we never got video of her recording “cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do”. I can only imagine the sass and snark

- “Taylor the mic is picking up you muttering ‘fucking prick’. You need to record it again.”

- “.....Taylor, muttering ‘backstabbing motherfucker’ isn’t any better. Maybe try it without the muttering?”

- The mouthed “I love you guys” ❤😭

- They’re not showing people collecting confetti? How unrealistic.

- Oh, there they are.

- “The words are all the same over and over again and I know that’s my fault....” still funny as hell

- “What’s a 767?” What’s it like to have that kind of money?

- Will pay to watch Taylor skip through a stadium

In conclusion: Taylor owns me. Kristen puts up with a lot from me. And I can’t wait for the next chapter.

[ayy-this-is-a-blog]

Main character of my Stardew Valley fic! Her name is Joey and she’s had a hard life.

Here’s a sneak peek about her for those reading the story!

Full Name: Joey Marie Gruft    Nickname: Jo, Thrasher, Shaddy Age: 24 Gender: Female Height: 5��6 Eye Color: Blue Other: Tattoo on shoulder Personality: [ Allocentric ] - [ Goofy ] - [ Moralistic ] - [ Leaderly ] - [ Competitive ] - [ Compulsive ] - [ Anxious ] - [ Crass ] - [ Brutal ] - [  Fawning ] •  Allocentric | “No matter how good you think you are as a leader, my goodness, the people around you will have all kinds of ideas for how you can get better. So for me, the most fundamental thing about leadership is to have the humility to continue to get feedback and to try to get better - because your job is to try to help everybody else get better.” | Joey wants everybody to be included and treated equally. She will not stand for racist, sexist, or ableistic comments about those that have no discipline in their life. In a sense she is often seen as a 'White Knight' for those that don't have the voice or means to defend themselves. • Goofy | “At this point, I feel like I can allow myself to be goofy and take more risks, and even if I do fall on my face, I know it's not the end of the world and at least I tried to do something different.” | Joey is a little goofball. She likes to bounce around and try to make the people around her happy. She enjoys being silly and drawing hearty laughter from those around her, even at the cost of her own health. • Moralistic | “On the surface we all act like we all love each other and we're free and easy, and actually we're far more moralistic than any other society I've ever lived in.” | Inkeri is very strong about doing things right by her mind. She believes that people need to be cared for and led themselves to helping those out around them. • Leaderly | "A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way." | Joey takes charge in situations where people are lost. Head sound tech quit minutes before show time? Joey will step in and direct people on what needs to get done and isn't shy about stepping up when things need to get done. • Competitive | "I am competitive and I feel bad when we lose. You can see it in me when we've lost. I'm in a bad way. I don't like to talk to anyone. " | Growing up with two older brothers and a younger sister, made Jo very competitive from an early age, having to fight for a place at the dinner table. It's a trait she still carries to this day. • Compulsive | “I think that the romantic impulse is in all of us and that sometimes we live it for a short time, but it's not part of a sensible way of living. It's a heroic path and it generally ends dangerously. I treasure it in the sense that I believe it's a path of great courage. It can also be the path of the foolhardy and the compulsive.” |  This is a thing that can get her in trouble. She tends to jump without thinking, and this has landed her in a few sticky situations before. Joey can make impulsive buys on the fly only to end up regretting it later on, this is why she has a drawer full of junk that she's never used ever. • Anxious | “I think it would collapse my heart if I was super famous. I don't have the nerve for it, I'm too anxious. I don't know how you're not obsessed with how people perceive you, because they're real people, you know? You can convince yourself that they don't really know you, and that's true, but how can it not hurt your feelings?” | Jo has anxiety about having to suddenly leave home. She does not do well being away from her place of residence for long spans of time if its uncalled for or unplanned. In foreign settings, Joey is insecure and scared and tries to keep to herself. • Crass | “Being an adult is like being in a Quentin Tarantino movie. It starts out cool, there’s lots of swearing, then it gets weird and confusing as fuck, and everyone dies.” | Joey has very little filter, and what filter she has quickly erodes when her temper rises. She usually ends up dropping the F-bomb every other word when excited or hyped. • Brutal | "I knock heads and crack skulls, even if the other party is begging for mercy." | Jo doesn't take shit from people who challenge her and everything he stands for. She's broken bones and hurt plenty of people out of a bullheaded rage in the past, but seems to keep a cap on her anger better than ever before. But if it comes down to it, she will not hesitate to kill someone if it's either her life or theirs. • Fawning | "I am called a dog because I fawn on those who give me anything, I yelp at those who refuse, and I set my teeth in rascals. " | Joey tends to love blindly if people give her affection. Male, Female, or whatever the other individual identifies as, she will fawn over them for given affections. This isn't because her parents didn't love her, but rather this was how they raised her to be. Themesong: Periscope - Papa Roach Voice Actor: Hasley Playlist: Jo's Playlist  Sexuality: Pansexual Character Alignment: Chaotic Good Likes: • Papa Roach / Escape the fate / Ot3p / Other Post/Hardcore bands • Concerts and Mosh pits • Oversized hoodies • The game Stardew Valley • Cats • Helping those down on their luck • Tattoos and scruffy beards Dislikes: • People with no manners • The Patriarchy • Capitlisim • Bigots / Terrorists • Sand • Animal abusers • Donald Trump Strengths: • Versatile • Self Sufficient • Honest • Hard working Weaknesses: • Can be short tempered when dealing with people she doesn't like. • Takes too many risks • Overly confrontational • Cynical Quirks: • Extremely loyal to friends and family • Can't stand when people chew with their mouth open • Celebrates all holidays on the wrong date [Save for halloween] • Oddly fascinated by natural disasters. • Tends to pull faces when worried about people she cares about. • Never seen without her knit hat • Likes touching peoples faces, arms, or clothes if they're close • Not open to having a child. but seeks a relationship Hobbies: • Going to concerts • Collecting Gemstones / Minerals / Antiques • Stargazing • Keeping A Journal • Dancing • Cooking • Gambling • Impersonations • Pyrotechnics • Playing guitar Skills: • Adapts to change quickly • Able to effectively think, speak and act without preparation. • Can confront others if they become a problem • Can take a leadership role if asked to • Handles pressure well Fears Fear of Being Alone Mild • • • • • - • • • • Severe Fear of Falling Mild • • • • • • • • • - • Severe Fear of Pregnancy/Having Kids Mild • • • • • • • • • • - Severe Fear of The Fututre Mild • • • • - • • • • • • Severe Short History: Joey Marie Gruft was born December 15th, 1994 to parents Leonard and Gabrielle Gruft. She was rasied the way of a typical 90's child that fell hard for the punk scene that her parents were a part of. As the youngest child she was often taken to concerts of her parents favorite punk bands from Green Day to Blink-182, but for as long as she could remember, her all time favorite band was Papa Roach. She just felt that their music understood her days as an angsty teen that struggled with anxitey, and she wasn't too far from wrong on that point. In her later teens and early adulthood, Jo moved away from her parents and started up her own rock band with a few of her close friends, even if it never really went anywhere other than the local scene. Still though, she liked the challenge of starting a rock band and coming up with their own music that actually meant something. In late 2017, her and her band, Hold your Breath, got the break they'd wanted and ended up getting a record deal with a local company that had helped other bands climb the ladder of fame. Her older brother resented her for taking the spotlight with their parents, even though he was already at the age of moving out when she was born. Joey still loved her big brother even though he pushed her away and shunned her for taking "his" place. Why she moved away: Joey was attending a local concert where she was playing with her band when her brother had ended up having enough of his sister. In a delusional rage, Joey was shot nearly and killed by her brother before he escaped. She soon found out that her brother had ended up killing their own parents in that same fit of rage. Joey's brother is now spending life in prison on two counts of firs degree murder charges and Joey herself has moved to Pelican town and is trying to start a new life as a farmer on her grandfather’s old plot of land.

[frantic-fiction]

Bleeding Hearts

Gif not mine

Hello, Lovelies! Last week I was at a rock concert in Seattle, and during my little adventure in the mosh pit (Which was my first time and was absolutely terrifying) I kinda came up with this little piece, this is kind of a punk rock au so hopefully, you all enjoy! 

Also, this contains some sexy time between the reader and the God of Mischief himself, so if you don’t like, you might not want to read.

Word Count: 1806

"Fucking Christ!" Your boyfriend Loki groaned throwing his hands up in defeat. Following Loki's gaze, your eyes fall upon a long line that trailed down the block leading into the club that housed your favorite band. The pessimistic side of you surfaced as you gripped the tickets tightly and thoughts raged with in your skull. You were never going to get in, the band you loved so dearly was going to play live as you wait outside in the cold rain of New York.

You looked to Loki for a solution, sadness radiating from your features. He wore a black pair of skinny jeans with too many holes to count and his favorite dark green tank top that showed off all of his many tattoos that cluttered his arms. To finish off his look, Loki dawned a small pair of bright green plugs decorating his ear lobes. His bright eyes met yours and a scowl set across his face. He was just as excited as you were to see this show but standing on the sidewalk as light rain drops trickling down your saddened face Loki vowed he would get you in that club.

You silently shrugged trying to hide your displeasure for the situation you found yourself in. "Maybe we should just head home?" You sadly offered. Brushing a stray strand of hair from your face, Loki cupped your cheek.

"No, love you were so excited about the concert. I'm not heading home until that show is over, and you saw that band play live." Loki assured, pecking your lips softly before slipping his hand in yours and pulling you with him across the street. Surpassing the line Loki drags you around to the back of the building.

"Loki, what the hell are you doing?" You laugh as he quickly hops the chain-link fence that leads to the back door of the club. His long black hair was disheveled, blowing lightly in the harsh wind.

"Getting you into the building, now get your sexy ass over here." Shaking your head, you zip up your black leather jack and hike up your plaid skirt before beginning your climb up the fence. Reaching the peak, you sang your legs over the fence and hopping over, a loud ripping sound following you over.

"God dammit." You curse looking down a long rip in your favorite fish net stockings. "You..." You began pointing your finger to the man.  

"I'll buy you another pair just keep quiet please." Loki interrupted before you could yell and draw attention to the two of you. Calming down quickly, Loki pulled out his lock picking kit he always carried for 'the right moment' and set out to open the locked door of the club. Concentrating the tip of Loki's tongue slipped out of his mouth causing a few chuckles to leave your mouth.

"Love..." Loki sighed. "If you keep laughing I'll never get this open." Muttering an apology you looked around the alley way, listening to the soft beat of the music coming from the building. Hearing a cheer from behind, you turn to see Loki standing tall the back door unlocked and opened. "Ta-da." Loki grinned with a bow.

"Damn, I love you." You laughed jumping into Loki's arms and planted a deep kiss on your boyfriend's lips. "Now come on handsome we've got a show to catch." Grabbing his hand you push through the door into a dark empty hallway. The faint beat of the pre-recorded music drummed through the walls, nothing of which you recognized, meaning that none of the bands have yet to perform. A giddy feeling jolted through your body with the excitement of what was to come. But the momentary happiness was interrupted all too soon.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" A gruff voice boomed from down the corridor; the source was a short and plump man wearing a dark t-shirt that read ‘Security.' "How'd you get in here?"

"Follow my lead," Loki whispered into your ear before lightly placing his arm around your shoulders. "I'm sorry sir, my girl here drank a little too much and I was trying to find the bathroom before anything unmentionable happened."

Playing along with Loki's scheme you slumped against his body. "Excuse me?" You slurred, hoping it was convincing enough for the officer. "I'm not drunk!" For an added effect you tripped over your feet and fell to the floor dramatically. Groans escaped your throat as you placed your forehead to the ground. "I don't feel right," You mumbled.

Pulling you up, Loki wrapped his arms around your body, to keep you steady in your 'drunken' state. "Now unless you want to see her vomit, please point me to the restroom."

"Down the corridor and to the right." The plump man quickly explained moving out of the way to let you and Loki pass. "Hurry please!"

Rounding the corner, you allowed Loki to lead you through the door that leads to the club lounge. Once the doors were opened, you were hit with the hot, humid air of the concert as intoxicated groupies moved around you, bouncing around in excitement. "I'll be right back love; I want to grab a shirt from the merch counter." Loki departed, leaving you at the bar to enjoy a drink while listening to the steady beat of the opening band that finally made its way on to the stage.

Due to your light weight nature you quickly found the room slightly spinning and you a bit more than tipsy. You moved to the mosh pit to dance and see the band close up. The base rattled your bones and vibrated your skin, trailing goosebumps throughout your body.  You could swear your heart was going to burst from the pounding beat, but that added to the all too overwhelming feeling warping within. 

Your drunken state sloshed the lyrics around meaning you couldn’t recognize the song, but that didn't inhibit you from swinging your hips and drunkenly dancing around the all too crowded space.  And that was when the hell broke loose. 

You found a thick arm around your waist pinning you to an unfamiliar body."A hot bitch like you shouldn't be dancing alone," A man breathed into your ear, a wretched smell of vodka hitting your nose. "Now let's have some fun," A nervous ping hit your stomach, but was quickly masked by the alcohol you consumed earlier. The two of you ground drunkenly against each other with no care in the world. That was until your boyfriend's voice boomed over the music and your dancing companion was yanked away from your body. Sobering up fast you turn around and see Loki angrily spitting words you could not hear towards the man you were dancing with.

"Fuck off!" Loki shouted as he shoved the man to the ground before linking your arms with his and rushing you out of the lounge. You tried to explain yourself, but it fell on deaf ears. You had no idea where you were being led until you swiftly found yourself pinned to the wall of one of the bathrooms. "God I can still smell his cheap cologne."

"Loki..."

"Stop, I don't care what you have to say at this moment unless it the moan of my name as I fuck you into tomorrow." Loki's gruff voice snarled in your ear, causing a tingling sensation spread through your body threatening your knee to give out. "Now darling, I think you need to be reminded as to who you belong too." He growled slamming his lips to yours, sandwiching your body between his and the wall. You submitted to his ministrations, moaning into the man's mouth as his tongue ran over yours.

Loki's hand found his way to your ass roughly pulling you up as you wrapped your legs around his lithe torso. He carried you across the tiled room never once disconnecting his lips from yours. He placed you on one of the many sinks pinning your back to the mirror and positioning himself between your legs, his erection pressing tightly to your core. Breaking away, Loki quickly got rid of your shirt and bra and began to trail open mouth kisses down your neck sucking noticeable marks on to your skin along the way. He trailed down to your breast sucking one into his mouth while his delicate fingers were massaging the other one.

His free hand trail up your thigh. Loki slid your stocking off your legs along with plaid shirt before rubbing you through you soaked panties, the roughness of the lace sending jolts of arousal through your body. "Your dripping love." Loki's husky voice chuckled, prodding his index finger into your wet folds adding another right after. You moaned as he slowly pumped into you, curling his fingers while he stimulated your clit with the pad of his thumb in the way he knew drove you insane.  "Now, I want you to tell me who made you this way? Who makes you this wet?" Unable to speak as your moans mixed with the pounding beat of the club. "I'm waiting," Loki spoke pushing further into you.

"You!" You answered curling your toes; you were so close to your release until Loki ceased his ministrations retreating from your womanhood a devilish smirk plastering his face. You let out a frustrating grunt banging the back of your head against the mirror. "Stop teasing me please." You begged knowing what that does to him.

"As you wish." Loki grinned letting his pants pool to his ankles he lined his hard member against your dripping entrance. Pulling Loki's face to yours, you traced his tongue as Loki thrust into you, sucking a cry of pleasure from your mouth. Lacing your fingers into his hair Loki picked up speed, pounding roughly into your core causing ripples of ecstasy to build within your lower abdomen. "Y/N..." He grunted. "Who do you belong to?" He bit down on your shoulder for emphasis. You could only gasp as Loki angled himself to pound deeper within you. "With words my dear." He demanded, rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Loki I'm yours, I'm all yours." You cried reaching you climax tightening around Loki's member. With a few more deep thrust Loki finished spilling his seed in your folds. You sat on the sink Loki's face in the crook of his neck, your pants mingling together. You pet Loki's unkempt hair back into place waiting for your ragged breath to calm. "Hey," You breathe. Loki looked up meeting your eye with his bright blue ones. "I want you to know that I love you, I love you so much Loki."

"I love you too." 

A super cheesy ending I know but that just what I like. Anyway, requests are open and thank you for reading. I'll see you all next time. Bye-Bye!

[allhallows-art]

WRITING REQUESTS

So, I’ve decided to redo this shit I did a while back. A long time ago, I compiled a huge list of AU’s and I’ve decided to repost it. If you want a bit of writing done for the following people:

SuperMega Game Grumps Markiplier ( and crew including Tyler and Ethan ) HatFilms Sidemen Cow Chop CancerCrew Then all you have to do is pick from the list below, send the number to me along with who you want it to be about. I’ll try and get through them as soon as I can. They’ll probably all be shit and jokey bc that’s my writing style but I hope you enjoy Thanks to @apocalypto-12​ for rekindling my love for writing and feel free to pick some Au’s and I'll write them for you babe

1. ‘my parents are rly religious and forced me to this meeting I hate everything the entire world is against me what the actual fuck did a stranger just send me nudes’ 2. I’m passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I must shove it down your throat 3. all our friends are drunk 4. it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost 5. We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances 6. You decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf 7. I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today 8. my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me 9. it’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay 10. you’re the fucker who set off the fire alarm with your awful cooking (or) I’m the fucker who set off the fire alarm with my awful cooking 11. dude your headphones are loud like I can make out most of Kayne’s lyrics and I’m sitting across the fucking room 12. you live above me and I’m going to murder you if you don’t stop throwing parties Sunday night 13. ‘me and my roommate decided to decorate our house for Halloween but got really into it, and ended up re-enacting several scenes from nightmare on elm street so loud the neighbours called the police to investigate screams’ 14. I broke your nose at a mosh pit 15. “You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’” 16. “You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend’s house and I should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we’re good” 17. “You saw me reading the same book you did and we got into a heated discussion on how much it sucks 18. “My cat steals underwear and I come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back.” 19. “This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh, shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry.” 20. “I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.” 21. “I thought you were my friend so I slapped your ass in greeting.” 22. “I’m watching The Lion King on my phone and I’m trying to hide the fact I’m sobbing uncontrollably but you notice anyway.” 23. cat person and dog person meet at petco and their pets won’t stop hissing and growling at each other 24. we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust 25. a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me 26. ‘I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when I asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night’ 27. 'last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us’ 28. 'i found you sleeping on my balcony when I went out to water my plants why are you here and more importantly how did you get here we’re eighteen floors up’ 29. ‘I called the wrong number and started talking about my life and you only interrupted me after a few a few minutes of me revealing some pretty personal stuff and now your invested in my life troubles’ 30. ‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last person’s apartment together’ 31. ‘I’ve had a really awful day so I started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car I’m so sorry’ 32. I always see you doing weird shit at ridiculous hours of the night and it makes me feel better because I do weird shit in the middle of the night too 33. “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else." 34. “So why did I have to punch that guy?” 35. “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.” 36. "That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.” 37. “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?” 38. “You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen.” 39. I asked you to babysit one time and now my child keeps asking when you will spend time with them again 40. “I’m so sorry that my child pointed out how your shirt- actually never mind I agree, that shirt is horrendous” 41. “You’re drunk and walked into the wrong apartment and fell asleep on my couch oh god you’re going to be so confused in the morning” 42. “I’m at work and my son needs to be picked up from school do you mind?” 43. “Okay well it turns out you’re really good with kids and my son has started calling you daddy and insists we move in so ‘we can be a real family’” 44. “Our dogs whine whenever they’re apart so we spend pretty much every day together” 45. “I walked in on your ex yelling at you so you grabbed me and kissed me so she’d go away and I’m kind of freaked out I literally just met you last week” 46. I’m giving out candy for Halloween and you brought your little sibling trick or treating and I think that’s sweet 47. I accidentally egged the wrong house and I’m trying to apologize but it’s one in the morning and you’re pissed off and I’m so sorry 48. “I live below you and I was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW” 49. “our Christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it’s hotter than hell in here - damn you look good without a shirt I never noticed before asgdhfjgkhl” 50. You’re allergic to cats but my cat really likes you my bad 51. You caught me having a Barbie movie marathon and now I’m trying to keep you from telling anyone about this! 52. met at a family reunion but not related to each other 53. your kid hates my kid 54. Accidentally “parkoured” through your window and I must pay you back but I’m dead broke 55. It’s a rainy day and I see you get side-splashed by a car and I’m laughing so hard until I get hit too 56. Drunkenly sold my soul to a demon and now I’m their bitch but this might be not so bad 57. Work at the same shitty restaurant and have all the same shitty shift times 58. 'What the fuck are you doing its midnight why are you playing 'My Heart Will Go On' on the piano' 59. “I came up to your apartment to ask you to turn down your music and have quieter sex, but it turns out that you’ve just been jumping up and down on your bed in your underwear listening to music alone 60. 'I heard you singing backstreet boys at 3am and decided to sing along oops’ (other old boybands can be substituted) 61. 'I was walking by the roller coasters and SOMEONE’S SHOE FLEW OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD 62. you’re the drummer for my brother’s band and I find you hot (bonus: the band is really shit and the drummer doesn't want to be there so uses the other person as an excuse to get out of practice) 63. we go to the same coffee shop every evening to do homework but we never speak to each other until today 64. I’m only your friend because we smoke weed and get high together 65.

66. “I want to blame my young child from accidentally breaking your window with a baseball, but it actually was in fact me, and I was aiming for your roof I am sorry 67. we have apartments next to each other and sometimes you’re blasting shitty music but other times you’re jerking off and that’s even louder than the music please quite down 68. “I’m a biker and one day I was biking in your neighborhood while you just happened to be outside watering the plants and since you’re so goddamn cute I accidentally steered into a pole and now you’re giving me first aid (holy shit you’re even cuter up close)” 69. “I’m at a karaoke bar and I’m sober enough to realize that your voice singing my absolute favorite song is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard, and you caught me staring and winked at me oh shit" 70. “it’s 2 in the morning and I was just trying to get home but I left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and I drove into a pole – would you please stop laughing you’re a cop. you’re supposed to be helping” 71. “you can’t get tattooed drunk, come back in the morning and if you still want my name on your ass we’ll talk" 72. ‘I walked into the public bathroom at a mcdonalds and you’re dangling halfway out of an air vent do I even want to know what you were doing’ 73. ‘I found you on the roof of my house passed out with a black eye holding a fire extinguisher’ 74. I accidentally texted the wrong number with a cat meme and you replied back with a different one unexpectedly and we just kept going ‘till I was convinced I would marry you 75. I’m best friends with your brother and when we were face-chatting you walked past in your boxers and bent over to pick something up and I tried averting my eyes but that ass 76. Detective partners 77. Reincarnation 78. Childhood friends with adjoining houses/rooms 79. This is the end of the world and we’re all we’ve got 80. I keep calling tech support because you’re helpful and your voice is cute 81. Competitive buskers who eventually for a band 82. Pen pals who vent to each other every week 83. Working at a theatre together during midnight premiere of a blockbuster 84. Meeting while waiting for hours in the a&e 85. Panicked yelling in unison because of lost baggage between connecting flights 86. Book store 87. Reluctant team mates who save the world together 88. Stuck in an airport because our flights were very delayed and it’s like 2am 89. Pretending to be siblings because of reasons 90. Teaming up to rescue respective abducted children 91. Trapped in a bank during a robbery 92. I’m pretending to be your bff bc you look very uncomfortable with that person at the bar 93. New fbi partner is hot 94. You accidentally shipped this weird thing to my apartment 95. Inappropriately timed confessions 96. At a ski lodge somehow got stuck outside in a storm hey look an abandoned cabin logically thinking go inside for warmth 97. Oops friend looks like the only place to sleep in this house is this small twin sized bed guess we are sharing 98. Inappropriately timed proposals 99. Called the wrong number while drunk 100. Hitchhiker 101. Arranged marriage 102. Fallen angel 103. Fashion designer 104. Zombie apocalypse 105. Backpacking across Europe 106. Mermaid 107. Band on tour 108. Small town lovers 109. Ice skaters 110. Dancing partners 111. Singing partners 112. Lawyers/ detectives 113. Writer and editor 114. Photographer and model 115. Stuck in a lift together 116. Phycologist and a patient 117. Partners in crime 118. Dystopian 119. Utopian 120. We both got kicked out of our rooms bc our room mates are hooking up and we are now avoiding each other 121. Laser tag 122. Walked by a rollercoaster and got hit in the head by a shoe 123. Swim team 124. Got mistaken for a celeb by their biggest fan 125. Sorry I set the fire alarm off for like the forty ninth time I tried to cook 126. I’m a werewolf but I’m embarrassed to tell you bc my wolf form is more like a Chihuahua 127. We both tried to rob a bank at the same time 128. Mistaken identity 129. Trapped on a desert island 130. Lab partners 131. Runaway royalty and a confused commoner 132. Android ad human 133. Immortal and non-immortal 134. Detention 135. Time travel 136. Came to the wrong Halloween party 137. Pranked the wrong person 138. Accidentally scared a kid and their adult is angry at me 139. Rival super heroes trying to save the same small town 140. Neighbours who only met because “I cannot get this stupid jar open can you help?” 141. We made a bet at the beginning of laser tag guess who won pay up 142. I’m on the FBIs most wanted for killing a ton of people but dw I just wanna date you bc your face is smoochable and you give me butterflies 143. Life sized version of clue in an old abandoned manor 144. Reunited after surviving zombie apocalypse 145. “are we both robbing the same house?” 146. Kissed them as a distraction to steal their wallet 147. “you know you’re singing out loud to your headphones, right?” 148. “I think my dog likes your dog” 149. Little kids getting way caught up in make believe 150. Lives alone in the woods next to a waterfall finds a confused lost person walking round 151. Fighting a squirrel 152. Spy 153. Private security 154. Angry biologists 155. Historians 156. Crazy cat hoarder and frustrated allergic to cats neighbour 157. Modern royalty 158. Got up at 2am for snacks at the store and found you trying to sleep in the hallway bc your roommates have his fiancée over and I guess I’ll lend you my couch 159. My cat went into your apartment through an open window and likes to piss everywhere and ruin furniture and now your back home from the store and you found me in the middle of your living room but I promise I’m not a burglar 160. Its 3 am and as much as you have a great music taste people are trying to sleep 161. My best friend somehow broke me to and tonight it the season finale of my fav to show and no internet streams are working can I watch it on you to please I promise I’ll go back to my apartment once it’s over 162. “I moved into the apartment next door and its totally haunted crash I crash here tonight” 163. “I may or may not have just robbed a bank and please help me get away I will pay you in sexual favors also cash” 164. “I don’t know you but you were at that party last night and long story short I now have your name tattooed on my ass2 165. “my friends dared me to go on this rollercoaster and now we are at the top and it looks hella scary and hello hot person next to me careful I might puke” 166. You thought you were alone at the bus stop early this morning so you started singing fall out boy loud but your Patrick stump impression could use some work and I’m not afraid to point that out 167. We’re rival up and coming singers and every time one of us releases a song the other covers it to try and make it better. We’re also always trying to out cute each other and top each other but half our fans ship us; our agents use this to their advantage and decide we should do a duet bc it would be popular but now we are in the studio together and I know and I kinda wanna know how your lips feel 168. Help I cannot find my cat and I know its 3 am but me and Neil cat rick Harris would appreciate the help 169. I’m a computer hacker trying to hack government systems but accidentally hacked your computer as you were searching up sex positions and looking at questionable porn 170. I’m a fandom blogger and you’re an aesthetic/fashion blogger and I accidentally followed you through that Tumblr radar thing but you’re too cute to unfollow 171. I sent you one of those ask memes Reponses saying that I would date you but we’ve never talked and you live half way across the world but now you’re interested whoops 172. You started banging on my door at 3 in the morning bc you got the wrong apartment and now I’m inviting you in for tea to bitch about the person you thought lived here 173. Person A accidentally falls in the pond trying to reach something and person B is a bystander who can’t help but laugh 174. Person B must grab person A from falling into the t6raintracks because they did stay behind the yellow line 175. you’re a store clerk and oh no I just spotted my ex can I hide behind your desk thingy 176. We’re neighbors and we’ve never talker but your cat may have gotten my cat pregnant guess we’ll have to raise a kitty family together. 177. A toddler broke your nose and I may or may not have snapped my thumb n an intense game of Mario kart and now we are sitting next to each other in A&E 178. I tried to rescue you from being robbed but got knocked out and you had to take me to the hospital after getting your wallet stolen 179. I purposefully get your coffee order wrong so you will talk to me again 180. I work at the checkout ad you are clearly not old enough to buy that 181. We are both con artists scamming each other 182. My hamster escaped and I think he went under your door 183. “Hey we hooked up last night and it turns out you’re my child’s teacher” 184. “we are neighbors and every night at 3;14 you start yodeling?? Why?? Is that you yodeling?? Its been two months??” 185. “I woke up this morning to find you in my living room with a goat wearing a poncho who are you?? Why is the goat wearing a poncho?? How did you get the goat here I live on the 12th floor?? 186. “I was playing beer pong with a coin and accidentally threw it in your eye at a party” 187. “okay I get that you’re a good thief and you don’t want to go to jail but I’m the tired af detective sent to catch you I stg if you let me bring you in I can get you a good deal” 188. “We’ve been nothing but friends our whole lives but then we played seven minutes in heaven on a dare and now I think I’m in love with you” 189. “My guitarist quit the night before a gig that could be my bands big break and apparently, you are really good but if you screw this up for us I will hunt you down and slit your throat” 190. “it’s the middle of the night and I’m walking in the dark and there’s this guy following me and he’s gaining on me and I found a phone booth with a lock on and tried to call my sister but my hand was shaking so now I’ve ended up calling you and I don’t know who you are but please help” 191. They captured you and put you in a room with me because I can suppress other people’s powers so you hate me but I’m just lonely and bored and want to talk to you 192. Esteemed rival chefs who find each other shamelessly buying ramen at 3am 193. “I know it’s the apocalypse but please can we keep this stray dog” 194. We’re at a murder mystery party and I’m sure you’re the killer 195. Your grandma is forward even though we are just friends 196. “We got into a really heated Wii tennis match and the rec and now I wanna bang you” 197. “you are literally the last person I would expect to see at Disneyland but hey wanna ride space mountain” 198. “YOU LIKE GAME OF THRONES TOO?!” 199. “in interviewing you for a newspaper can you please stop flirting with me and we can get coffee afterwards” 200. “we’re enemies by day but league of legends allies by night” 201. Ancient gods 202. Whoops I accidentally summoned a demon 203. Co captains who always argue 204. “I didn’t mean to throw the water balloon at you I meant to hit my friend behind you” 205. There was a food fight and I accidentally threw spaghetti at the scariest kid in school 206. “I happened to glance in your window when you did some air guitar and then you caught me looking” 207. “I live a block away from the pizza place that’s open until 2 am and you’re like always here which is nice because I get to see you but, um is you sleeping here because you’re literally always here” 208. “I swear to god if I hear you taking a shower at 3 in the morning I will fight you, the pipes in this building are right above my room WHY are you taking a shower at THREE IN THE MORNING” 209. 210. “I can literally hear you sneezing through the walls and I bought you some chicken soup because I have exams to study for and your sneezing is seriously distracting” 211. “Im the poor loser you lent your umbrella to yesterday and my cat scratched through the fabric I’m sorry” 212. “we were partnered for this project and both forgot to do it and now have to pull an all nighter at my house” 213. “I came to this Halloween part as Frankenstein and you came as frankenstein’s wife and now everyone thinks we are dates” 214. We’re the only ones at this tiny bus shelter and you’ve been crying for the past ten minutes and id give you privacy but its pouring down with rain outside so “do you want to talk about it?” I guess 215. You’ve just moved into my apartment and I want a drink but you’ve been in the kitchen for an hour and you will judge me for drinking whiskey at noon on a Sunday 216. We’re both in the brass section of the marching band and you won’t stop making ‘horny’ puns 217. You work in construction and I walk by every day to give you a bagel 218. I sit behind you in lecture and bio1102 is not the place to watch porn 219. We were the only idiots who showed up to ballroom dance class without a partner 220. We are in class and you keep throwing paper balls at me why 221. Its 2am and I’m knocking on your window, wake up let’s go on a late-night walk or something idk can we hold hands already 222. Our kids got paired up for a project and I meant just drop my kid off at your house but now we are at the end of a three hour talk 223. Battle of the bands 224. Our grandparents are in the same nursing home and hate each other whereas we don’t. 225. Arrested at the same protest 226. How do you keep getting my name that wrong on my coffee cup? 227. Only two people who bought tickets to this movie 228. Our manager is making us push this crappy item no one needs but you thought my campaigns was funny so you bought it 229. I desperately need you to fix my laptop but please don’t judge me for my browser history 230. My kid’s hamster died while she was at school and I don’t know how to tell her 231. I made a dumb science joke in class and you’re the only one who laughed 232. Everyone in our dorm has gone out but I have the flu and hear you coughing pathetically from the next room wanna share my stash of cough drops and have Netflix marathon 233. Got into a seriously heated argument in the comments of a mutual friends post 234. Rival street performers 235. My kid shoplifted from your store and I marched her right back to apologies 236. Why didn’t you tell me this place was haunted before I rented it from you? 237. My band plays at the same restraint every Friday and you always make obscure requests and I know you’re trying to stump me but you have rally underestimated how much of a music geek I am 238. m the caterer and you’re the florist for this wedding and we bond over talking about how bad of a person the bride’s mother is 239. We’re chaperoning these kids at an ice skating rink and that last couples skate was pathetic how about we show them how it’s done? 240. We both work at rivalling gossip magazines and keep trying to outdo each other ridiculous stories 241. I accidentally caught the neighbor’s yard on fire and I didn’t think it could get worse but the volunteer fireman reprimanding me is gorgeous and probably thinks I’m an idiot 242. I didn’t mean to get you arrested I thought I was helping 243. Your pizza keeps getting delivered to my house and I need to talk to you about your choice of toppings 244. Graffiti artist/ mural painter 245. You’re the only major film critic who’s hated my movie and I need to talk to you about it because I agree

[alextheantichrist-blog]

Danielle

John was at his first munch, which was a meeting for people interested in kink. He sipped his beer as he saw the waitresses of the pub rush past him. Animated conversations were going on around him, but he didn't find them to be of any interest. He was too young to worry about mortgages. He didn't even have a job.

John took out his phone and started swiping through different social media apps.

"You look bored," came a voice.

John looked up to see a young woman with purple hair, piercings and tattoos. She was wearing a black dress and had cat's eye glasses on.

"What makes you think that?"

"You're on your phone. Whenever I see someone on their phone at a munch, I can tell they're bored."

"I guess you're right. This is my first munch and I'm not really feeling it."

"Understandable. It can be quite a strange and overwhelming experience for people. Wanna come over to my table?"

"Sure."

John got up and followed her to another table full of people. They sat down beside each other.

"I forgot to introduce myself," she said, holding out her hand. "I'm Danielle."

"John," he replied, shaking it.

"Nice to meet you, John."

"Nice to meet you, too."

"So, what brought you here?"

"Well, I used to do kinky stuff with my girlfriend. We were the only ones in our friend group who did that kind of stuff. After she broke up with me, I stopped doing it. It's been three years since then. Kink used to be a big part of my life and I've recently started missing it. A friend told me about this event and I thought I would go and try to meet new people."

"Cool. Are you a dom or a sub?"

"Dom. I like to be dominant in bed. I'm pretty submissive in everyday life, so I like to have power and control when I can."

"Cool. Me, too. I enjoy doing evil things to people. It's a lot of fun."

John laughed. "I know, right?"

"What kinds of stuff did you and your girlfriend do, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh, spanking, hair pulling, scratching, biting, some whips, a bit of bondage."

"Okay, so pretty basic stuff."

"Yeah. We were pretty vanilla when it came to kink."

Him and Danielle both laughed.

"That's okay," replied Danielle. "Everybody's gotta start somewhere."

"That's true."

"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"Heavy metal, mostly."

"Oh, have you heard of Sunn O)))? They're really good. I went to their concert."

"I listened to them a bit. I'm not that into doom metal."

"It was great seeing them live. Their concert was at an abandoned power plant. I felt my whole body vibrate with every note they played. My hands were completely numb after the concert. It was quite an experience."

"Really? That sounds cool. I should check them out sometime."

"You should. They're great. So what kind of bands do you listen to?"

"Mostly melodic death metal. Arch Enemy, Amon Amarth, old In Flames, that kind of stuff."

"Oh, nice. Been to any concerts lately?"

"Yeah. I was at the Black Dahlia Murder concert a few weeks ago. That was the first time I entered a mosh pit, and I think it will be the last. One guy accidentally elbowed me in the face and my nose started bleeding."

"Yikes. Yeah. Moshing isn't for everybody."

"I know, right? You're pretty cool."

"You're quite cool yourself."

"Wanna keep in touch?"

"Sure. I can give you my phone number. I'm usually available to text."

"Sounds good. Maybe we can hang out sometime and have coffee."

"I would like that."

"It's good to see you again," John said, sipping his coffee.

"It's good to see you, too," replied Danielle.

"You're looking very beautiful, as always."

"Aw, thank you. That's so sweet."

"You're welcome."

"I'm debating whether I should get something. I haven't had breakfast yet."

"Just get something. Why do you need to debate?"

"Well, the only thing I can get here is a sandwich with lettuce, tomatoes and a hash brown. Asking for that is quite a pain for the staff, because it's a special order. They don't have it on the menu."

"Oh, are you vegetarian?"

"Vegan, actually. It can be quite annoying at times, but I do it for the animals."

"Oh, okay." John stared at the BLT he had already bitten into.

Danielle laughed. "Don't worry about it. I don't mind people eating meat in front of me."

"That's good. I forgot to ask, but what do you do for work?"

"I'm actually on disability. I have this rare medical condition that gives me quite a lot of pain sometimes and interrupts my sleep, so I can't work. I also have ADHD and depression, which don't help things."

"Really? I have autism and depression. It can be quite a bitch sometimes."

"Oh, wow, I didn't know. I've met quite a few people with autism, and they've all been quite awesome."

"Yeah, it's not that bad for me. I'm just socially awkward at times. I have trouble picking up on subtle social cues."

"Ah, I see. I just have trouble concentrating and am always late for things. It's the reason why I was late today, actually."

"Oh, really? I was wondering about that."

"Yeah, it's not just you. I'm late for everyone. It annoys some people."

"I'm okay with it. It's worth waiting for you."

"Aw. You're so nice."

"Thanks. Anyway, what have you been up to?"

"I've been watching a bunch of old horror movies, actually."

"Oh, nice. What's your favourite?"

"Alien. I love the claustrophobic feel and the art design."

"That's a good one. Mine's Hellraiser. I'm a huge fan of Lovecraft, so I love the Lovecraftian atmosphere that Hellraiser gives off."

"That is also a good pick."

"I didn't know you also liked horror movies. That's one more thing we have in common. Huzzah!"

Danielle laughed. "My partner got me into them. He's a huge horror fanatic."

"Oh, cool. How long have you two been together?"

"Two years."

John whistled. "That's a long time."

"Yup. We live together and everything."

"Nice. The longest relationship I had was seven months."

"That's not bad. That was a while ago, right?"

"Yeah. Three years ago. I kinda miss having a girlfriend, but also kinda not. I have ways of dealing with it now."

"Oh, really? What are those ways?"

John's face turned red. "Um... I hire escorts."

"Oh, cool. I know quite a few people who are sex workers. You're the first person I've met who actually hires them."

John blew out of sigh of relief. "I'm glad you're cool with that. I found there's a lot of stigma behind hiring escorts."

"Yeah. It's stupid. As long as it involves two consenting adults, what does it matter if money is exchanged? The laws and social norms around this are just silly."

"I totally agree. Sex work should be legalized. I thought Canada was supposed to be progressive. I'm surprised at how conservative they are when it comes to sex work."

"Yeah. Canada's on the right track, but it still has a long way to go."

"Agreed. Do you have anything planned for tonight?"

"Nothing much. Just more horror movies. You?"

"I have a movie event at a friend's house. I'm part of this anime group that meets regularly at a person's house. I found them online. I'm quite enjoying it so far."

"Oh, nice. I never got into anime."

"I used to watch it as a kid, but I didn't get really into it until I joined this group."

"Cool."

This is the last conversation John had with Danielle over text.

John

Hey Danielle. How's it going?

Danielle

Not too bad. Yourself?

John

I'm not doing too well. I just got kicked out of the anime club.

Danielle

Oh, no. I'm so sorry. What happened?

John

The guy whose house I was at said I was flirting with his girlfriend. I didn't even realize.

Danielle

Well, you do seem to flirt with women quite a bit. What kinds of things did you say?

John

Just my standard stuff. You're looking very beautiful today. That dress looks good on you. That kind of stuff.

Danielle

Ouch. Yeah. You should be careful about that. I don't mind you being flirty with me because I know you mean well, but others might take it the wrong way.

John

I understand that, but I don't think it was fair for him to just kick me out. He should've given me a warning first.

Danielle

I disagree. What you were doing was a huge red flag. He was just being careful. I'm sure he's dealt with people who have made women uncomfortable before.

John

I still think he should've talked to me first.

Danielle

Then we will have to agree to disagree.

John

So you're taking his side now? I thought you were my best friend.

Danielle

I'm not taking anyone's side. Besides, I don't see you as a best friend. We're not even that close. We've only known each other for a few months. We may have talked about sensitive topics, but that doesn't make us best friends.

John

I didn't know you felt that way.

Danielle

Well, now you do.

John

Well, I'm still angry at them. Not only my friend, but also his girlfriend. If I was making her uncomfortable, she should've said something. It's their fault, not mine.

Danielle

That's not how it works, John. She probably just didn't want to make a fuss. Women are conditioned to keep quiet about these kinds of things. There have been women killed over less.

John

How am I supposed to know they're uncomfortable if they don't tell me?

Danielle

You pick up on the subtle social cues.

John

But I have autism. I have trouble with that.

Danielle

Now you're just making excuses.

John

It's not an excuse. It's an explanation. I know now what I did was wrong. I just wish people wouldn't be so harsh on me.

Danielle

John, this conversation is making me really uncomfortable. I think we should stop being friends.

John

What do you mean?

Danielle

Goodbye, John. Hopefully you can learn from this.

John

Oh, so I'm the creep now. Gotcha.

John was standing the subway platform.

I'm worthless, he thought. I don't deserve to be close to anyone. I'm a stupid, worthless failure and a horrible person. I deserve to die. I'm gonna jump in front of the next train that comes.

As the train neared the platform, John steeled himself up. As he went closer and closer, his heart began to race and he began to feel a coldness in his chest. His hands began to shake. Thoughts of death clouded his mind.

I can't do this, he thought as the train passed.

With tears in his eyes, John went to one of the crisis intercoms and pressed the big red button.

"Hello," came the voice from the intercom. "What is your emergency?"

"I wanna kill myself."

"Okay, we will have someone with you in a minute."

John sat and waited on one of the red benches, alone.

[everland-x-blog]

Je veux t'aimer

I want to fall in love with you, I want to so badly. I want to be there for you in every way imaginable. I want to hold your hand and stand by your side through the trials and tribulations that are thrown in your way. I want to be there to help you celebrate your victories. I want to be there for you from beginning to end. I want to be the person you trust the most and confide in, I'd give anything to carry that responsibility. I don't want to betray you; I want the capability to be utterly honest and trustworthy to you. I want to be the shoulder you go to when you need one for support. I want to be the small and frail set of arms you long for when you need a hug. I want to be the person you seek out when you need to be showered with affection. I want to be there waiting for you while you're gone. I want to be the one longing to come back to you when I'm gone. I want to give you everything I have, my heart, my body, my soul, my love and devotion. I want you to look past the fact that I'm broken or defective goods and love me anyway. I don't care about the demons you may have on your back or your little imperfections; to me they make you perfect. I don't care if you have a past or enough baggage to sink a nation…I do too and I want to carry it all with you (not for you.) I want to snuggle with you at night, smelling your T-shirt and hugging up as close to you as I can. I want to not want to let you go. I want to touch your face tenderly and cover it with feathery kisses. I want to run my thumb softly along your eyelashes while you're sleeping. I want to become irritated with your snoring and talking in your sleep until I hear you mumble my name. I want to complain about your cold feet touching me at night or fight with you over the covers. I want to send your ass packing to the couch. I want to love every fiber of your being, because they make you who you are, and I want to love you. I want to go to you when I'm upset and hurt just to be engulfed in your arms. I think I'd feel safer there than anywhere else. I want that feeling of security I know you can give me. I want to break down crying, completely heartbroken only to have you mend me back together just by holding me close and whispering to me reassuringly. I want to give you peace. I want to laugh my ass off at you and your goofiness. I want to listen to your corny jokes and your terrible impersonations because they really are funny even though I don't want to admit it. I want you to snicker at me and call me weird nicknames because of my unconventional habits. I want to form as many inside jokes with you as I can and remember them all just so I can send you random messages throughout the day that won't make sense to anyone but us. I want you to laugh at the messages until you cry and when your coworkers or friends ask what's so funny, you can't explain it, you just laugh until they think you've gone insane. I want to be the one to make you smile. I want to talk politics with you and debate the meanings of life and love. I want to develop our own philosophies together. I want to make important and life changing decisions with you. I want to do favors for you, saying: "Ok…but you owe me," not because I actually want something, it just means I'll get to spend more time with you. I want to get so mad at you sometimes that I end up feeling ashamed of myself and ask for forgiveness even though it actually was your fault. I want you to do the same with me. I want you to roll your eyes at me when I get on your nerves, forcing me to pinch you in retaliation. I want you to pinch me back. I want to get into pinching wars with you. I want you to tell me when I'm doing something wrong or annoying (just so I can pinch you back yet again to get even.) I want to wrestle with you in the living room. I want to land on top and pin you down, and gloat about how I won even though we both know you let me just so you could have a 'nice view'. I'd like to be able to lay my head on your shoulder not because I'm sleepy, but because I get to be closer to you in a sneaky way. I want you to hug me from behind and seductively kiss my shoulder. I want to burry my face in the nape of your neck and tickle you unexpectedly with my eyelashes. I want you to call me a dork for doing so followed by: "but for some odd reason I love you anyway." I want to spend an entire Saturday in bed with you. I want to make memories with you; good ones, bad ones, sweet ones, funny ones, ridiculous ones, R rated ones…I just want to share them with you and you alone. I want to hurt in your absence; I want that pain deep inside my chest. I want to feel like I'm the loneliest person in the world when you're gone. I want the excitement I know I'm bound to feel upon your return. I want the knowledge that I belong to you and you belong to me. I want you to know you always have someone to turn to and I want for us to be together even if some people may not agree with our union. I want the stress and frustration that come with the difficulties in a relationship because it means you come attached. I want you to want to be with me despite all the factors that may be stacked against us. I want to fight those factors with you. I may not want to spend the rest of my life with you just yet, but I want to consider it someday. I want you to want a future. I want to see you succeed in life, not just financially, but I want to see you happy and enjoying life to its fullest. I want the reassurance that you'll live up to your potential and become someone that'd make me even more proud of you than I already am. I want to experience young love with you. I want for us to go to public places just to see the elderly couples glare at us and bicker about 'the youth of today' with our tattoos and piercings and 'horrid rock music'. I want you to laugh at me when I say 'that'll be us someday'. I want to spend an entire day washing your car only to end up with us dirtier than the car was to begin with. I want to spray you in the face with the hose and then have you chase after me and tackle me to the ground. I want to stay up all night watching horror movies with you until we're both too scared to go to sleep. I want to sit quietly and listen to you play your guitar while you sing some of the songs I wrote for you. I don't think anyone could do my lyrics better justice than you could even though I'm slightly biased. I want the songs to make me cry and then have you gently wipe away the tears. I want to jump your bones afterwards and take advantage of you (none too gently I might add.) I want you to want me to take advantage of you. I want you to take advantage of me in return. I want us to sit in comfortable silence while I sketch a picture of you without your knowledge. I want you to know what I'm actually doing, but stay silent so as not to ruin the moment. I want long talks with you about the dumbest things as in subliminal messaging in cartoons. I want to watch you laugh and smile, and because of this I want to fall in love with you all over again. I want to undress you with my eyes. I want you to tell me I don't need to wear makeup because I'm beautiful without it even though we both know if I went outside looking the way I do in the mornings I'd scare small children. I want you to talk me out of getting my nose pierced, but end up taking me to get my first tattoo instead. I want to fight over little things with you like what radio station to play or what channel to watch on the TV. I want to argue with you over whether to go to Burger King or McDonald's until we finally compromise on Wendy's even though neither one of us likes their food. I want to hate your video games the way you hate my feminist music. I want you to teach me how to play Mortal Combat only to have me accidentally beat you. I want to laugh at you while you rant about 'beginner's luck' and say: 'it was a fluke'. I want to get competitive with you. I want to place bets with you over random things. I want to go moshing with you. I want you to be overprotective of me and make sure I don't get run over by a hoard of drunk guys. I want to get into an argument in the middle of the pit over some stupid or meaningless thing. I want the make-up sex afterwards when we get home. I want your friends to like me, I want to like them. I want to watch your band practices. Basically, I want a life with you in it. I want a relationship with nobody but you. I know I'm normally picky and have a lot of faults, but you have touched my heart in a way no one has before and all I want right now is for you to accept me. I will be there for you and I will love you unconditionally because I want to fall in love with you and you alone and I believe you're worth the effort. I believe everyone deserves love, including us, and you're the only one I want to fall in love with. I want to make you feel loved, accepted, cherished, appreciated, and far more special than you can ever imagine because that's what I want you to mean to me.