#don’t ask me who it is because I can’t and won’t tell you

[lucitumb1r]

“EVERYONE SHUT UP!” You yell at full volume, something you usually reserve for calling your fellow lumberjacks that it’s lunchtime.

As expected, everyone falls silent. Though your baby sisters pleading eyes feel like a never ending stream of soft whispers to believe her.

You turn to the only person wearing a suit in the middle of summer. “What are you claiming she has done?” You ask respectfully.

The man smiles with blinding white teeth and straightens out his jacket. “I’ve been informed that this little lady,” He gestures to your baby sister. “Has wrecked the east side of my new shopping mall.” He chuckles like it’s a joke. “So I’m here to iron out how we’ll be handling the situation.”

You nod. “And you’ve reviewed the evidence?” The man is quick to nod confidently. “Yes, the security camera’s captured her clearly throwing an invisible monster.” You nod again. “And can I view this footage? I’m legally obliged since I am her guardian.”

The man stutters for a moment at that, clearly surprised at a man in his early twenties to have a teenage child. “I suppose..” He sounds disappointed but his smile never leaves, wonder if he learned that from his wife.

You see the footage, and it clearly shows your sister, transformed and everything, wrecking a monster’s life. Though the monster can’t be captured on footage.

“So you see, here we are.” The man says once the footage is done playing. You nod again. “Yes, I wish you the best of luck with finding that magical girl, anyway me and my sister will be going now.” And you start to walk away.

The man is quick to stop you. “Now hold on a moment! This girl is a magical girl! I saw her detransform!” You stop. “You saw her?” “Yes!”

You turn to your little sister. “Honey, if someone sees you detransform, you have to give up being a magical girl.” She looks at you with tears in her eyes and nods, unable to speak past the grief in her throat. “Are you okay with giving that up?” You ask patiently. She looks away before nodding weakly. A lie, you know.

You pat her on the head. “Why don’t you go ahead and head home? I’ll take care of everything over here.” She looks shocked but before she can say anything you put a finger to her lips. “Don’t worry, everything will be fine. I’m proud of you.” And before long she’s on her way.

You turn back to the man, who is smiling smugly. “I don’t plan on telling anyone who she is, if she pays me back the damages, with interest.”

You chuckle, almost as if in agreement.

“Here’s my offer. You walk away, right now, and just ask the government to reimburse you. Or, I’ll make sure you can’t walk away.”

The man lets out a deep and harsh laugh, as if the idea alone amuses him more than anything else has this conversation. “Oh please! I’d much rather have both the government and the little girl pay me. She might not be legally responsible, but I know who she is.”

You take a step back and let out a sigh. “Alright. Where does your wife live?” He looks affronted at the random question. You realise how that sounded. “Oh! No, I’ll need to know where to send the card for the funeral.” And you punch him in the gut, forcing him to throw up. While he’s still winded, you grab his throat and lift him up.

“Y’know? We’re in public right now. Sure a random parking lot, but anyone could hypothetically spot us.” As he grabs and scratches at your hand, you happily continue your monologue.

“And yet I know that no one will see this. I know I’ll never hear back from what I’m doing right now.” You say as the man’s eyes bulge. His mouth is dribbling spit as he lets out small noises to hint at his struggle for breath. The man tries to swing his weight back and forth to squeeze free of your grip, but you’ve dealt with logs covered in moss. He won’t get away.

“You wanna know why that is? It’ll sound familiar.” You tell him smugly as you watch his last moments of conscious thought start to flicker.

You move him closer to you, and whisper. “Because everyone will choose to look away. You’ve served yourself and no one else for decades. So now, when you need help, everyone serves themselves.” His eyes roll back and you wait a few extra seconds. “Leaving you out to dry.”

Once you’re certain he has passed, you drop the body and wipe the wayward spit off of your hand. Then, you start the walk home, thinking of what to get for dinner.

Maybe pork?

You’re certainly in the mood for pig.

Magical girls kill monsters all the time, but they're not allowed to kill humans. But you're not a magical girl; you're her older brother.

[itsacruelsummerbaby]

SCHRÖDINGER’S PLUS ONE

Aaron attends a wedding, one where you’re the maid of honor. A conversation takes your relationship to the next level.

pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader || tags: dbf!Hotch, age gap || wc: 1.4k || navigation

“Will you have a plus one?”

“No.”

It’s definitely not the biggest lie he has ever said, but it’s definitely there in the top three. 

He has known the groom since he was a teenager, a stupid boy who got into trouble more often than not after his father’s cancer diagnosis, but he changed a lot for the better over the years. Since he was a family friend, one who gave legal advice to them a few times, he received an invitation.

Who else got one? You.

And God, aren’t you beautiful in that royal blue dress that hugs your body so perfectly? Aaron can’t get enough of this sight, his eyes always find you through the crowd of guests, always waiting for the moment you’re ready to look his way. 

The evening passes with him having pleasant chats with other guests, but whenever he has some time alone, he’s looking for the little imperfections of your skin that he can locate even blindfolded by now too. 

A smile appears on his lips when his brain starts replaying how your skin tasted when he kissed that small scar on your forearm the last time he had you all for himself. That scar is a reminder of your childhood play times with friends, ones he knows quite well after looking at childhood photos with you. 

If it was his choice, he would grab your hand and take you home right now, but you’re the maid of honor, which means you have to stay as long as you can. Too bad, but you promised to dance with him at least once, so he’s waiting for the right moment to approach you.

“Can I get a gin and tonic?” 

Aaron lets out a quiet laugh when he looks at you. You occupy the bar stool on his side, and only turn to him when he decides to start a conversation. “Since when do you drink gin and tonic?” he asks with a smile.

You don’t say a word, instead you return your attention to the bartender who meanwhile returns with your drink. Without even the smallest hint of hesitation, you wrap your lips around the straw to drink, causing him to gulp and shift in his chair. 

Oh, you know exactly what you’re doing to him.

Then you finally put the glass on the bar table, your fingers still holding the straw to stir the drink, all while you lean a little closer to him. “Just because you’re trying to train me to drink bourbon, it won’t make me like it. I’d rather choose this,” you add with a shrug.

“Sweetheart, why didn’t you tell me you don’t like bourbon?” A soft sigh leaves your lips as you watch him. Of course, he knows the answer without you helping him. “You little people pleaser,” he notes with a loving smile, stopping himself last second before leaning in to kiss you.

Your head tilts to the side a little, and then you say, “Maybe I only want to please you. You’ll never know.”

“But I do know. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m a profiler. I know you’re like this with everyone, but it’s okay,” he assures you as he rests his arm on the bar table, letting his fingers linger close to your hand around the glass.

“Okay, smartass, if you know me so well, tell me what I’m thinking about right now.”

“Profiler, not mind reader.” You scoff with a roll of your eyes, but he doesn’t miss the delicate curl of your lips. “But fine, which thought do you want to hear? Because I can see those bedroom eyes of yours every time you look at me, and God, I just want to kiss you and drag you home.”

You finally let go of the glass long enough to playfully slap his hand. “You and your dirty mind,” you say with a laugh, earning a few strange glances. “What’s the other thought?” 

Aaron takes a deep breath as he watches you. “You want to dance with me,” he finally tells you.

A thoughtful hum leaves you. “Not bad. And, what do you have to say about that?” you wonder, batting your eyelashes at him.

“I might kiss you on the dance floor.”

“That’s okay, everyone’s too drunk to notice or remember.”

You sound so sure of this, so confident that nothing could go wrong if you were seen together with his arms around you, that he doesn’t have the heart to say no to you. Especially since he’s been thinking about you all day, waiting for the perfect opportunity to finally talk to you. 

Nodding, he slips off the barstool and leans down to place a soft kiss on your forehead. “Then let’s go dancing, shall we?” he asks with a smile and offers you his hand.

Even though he expects you to have a wide smile on your lips as you jump up, in reality you decide to play hard to get. A low, thoughtful hum escapes your throat while your finger circles around the edge of the glass. 

Shaking his head, he rests his forearm on the table to be closer to your face. “I have a pair of backup handcuffs in the car, if you don’t behave, I’ll cuff you to myself for the rest of the night,” he warns you.

“Aaron Hotchner, you should know better than to threaten me with a good time,” you respond with a wide grin.

“You’re unbelievable.”

You shrug as you finally stand up, your eyes fixed on his face. “But you love me anyway.” 

After a moment of fake thinking, he leans in to give you a quick peck on the lips. “That I do. Come on,” he says with a smile, his hand already reaching for yours. 

Holding your hand is one of the few things that can truly ground him, make him forget about the stress, the anxiety, the nightmares; everything. He fell in love with you along the way, during the year you’ve spent together. 

A part of him was ready to make things official with you, he planned a speech to convince your father not to kill him, he thought about how to introduce you to Jack as his girlfriend, and he also prepared a set of keys to his apartment for you. He wanted you to move in. He was already planning a life with you, and he knew he would talk to you about this soon.

Once on the dance floor, he puts his hands on your waist, pulling you maybe a tad closer than necessary considering officially he was just a family friend, but he couldn’t care about the consequences now. He just wanted to be with you, he wanted to enjoy these moments.

“Do you know what we are to each other tonight?” you suddenly ask him. He raises an eyebrow in question, which makes you smile. “Schrödinger’s plus one. Everybody believes we came alone, but we know we’re each other’s plus one. Because we are, right?”

Aaron let out a quiet chuckle, then followed his instincts and kissed you, this time not holding back. He couldn’t care less if the other guests saw the scene, he only wanted you, all of you, and he would be crazy if he let this chance go.

So, without thinking, he cupped your cheek and looked you in the eye. “Move in with me.” He kept a short pause to wait for your reaction, and when your eyes widened from the surprise, he only flashed a smile at you in hopes of calming your nerves. “I’m tired of hiding,” he adds to make things clear. 

“That’s… a big step. Are you sure?” you ask quietly.

He nods without thinking. “One hundred percent sure.”

There’s a short period of silence, one that soon begins to worry him. What if you say no? What if you break up with him? But why would you do that? Just a few minutes ago you looked so happy, so carefree–

“You’re overthinking again, aren’t you?” you ask with a smile, and when he nods, you gently wrap your fingers around his wrists. “I love you. If you’re ready, I’m ready too.” 

Finally, a smile creeps on his face. “I love you too, baby. You can’t even imagine how much,” he tells you, hoping you can hear the sincerity in his voice. 

Because he means it. You’re the second best thing in his life after his son, and he’s not planning to let you go anytime soon. 

[mywritersmind]

WORSHIP ME - LN4 ✦・۪۪۫ . ✦. ۪۪۫ ・✦

summary : In which a rant on a bathroom counter turns into your best friend going off and confessing his feelings.

listen up : kissing! I LOVE THIS

words : 905

⋆｡‧˚⋆

The counter is cool against my skin, my skirt inches higher up my thigh as my leg is straightened in front of me and my head knocked back against the mirror. “I’m sick of it.” I can’t help but say after another dickhead date. “I hate men.”

“I’m a man.” Lando says, standing in front of me like some night in shining armor. His fingers ghost over my skin before they find my heel strap, his eyes never leaving mine.

“You don’t count.” I sigh to my best friend. He’s also dressed up, in a nice black suit and his hair still perfect. I’m assuming he was on a date but honestly, I didn’t ask.

His hands are cold against my skin, successfully pulling off one of my heels. His brow raises at my words.

“I just- I want someone to love me.” My eyes detach from his as I look around the bathroom is true self interest, “I’m sick of getting excited at a text back or blushing if someone compliments me. Compliments my body, by the way. It’s nice sometimes, don’t get me wrong! But I have other qualities other than nice tits!”

He laughs at the last bit, his tinge darting over his lips, “The guy tonight didn’t tell you that you have a beautiful mind?” His tone is sassy and gets met with my heel in his chest.

It doesn’t hurt him of course, just makes him laugh more. He drags my ankle tightly again as if he’s trying to punish me, Jesus I don’t even think he would hurt me by accident.

“I’m serious, Lando!” I groan as his fingers find my heel again, “It’s infuriating!”

“I’m sure it is.” He mumbles.

“You wouldn’t understand! I want to be something else than a fucking one night stand! I want someone to care. Fuck caring I want a man to worship me!”

He lets out a frustrated groan just as my heel falls off. He doesn’t let go of my foot. “You really want that?” He says as if it’s the craziest thing in the world.

“Yes!”

“And you really don’t think I understand it?” He’s frustrated but I don’t know why.

“I mean, yeah.”

“You want to know what I want?”

“Enlighten me.” I say a bit more sassy than I meant it.

He nods, holding back an eye roll as his hand makes its way to my knee and causing me to inhale, “I want a woman.”

“Wow, so picky.” I roll my eyes and look away but his tug at my leg makes me look back.

“I want a girl to stay in my bed for more than just my name. I want a woman who laughs so hard with me that she cries. I want her to actually open her fucking eyes!”

I swallow, “Hm?”

“Christ! I’m taking off your bloody heels and letting you complain to me about every guy on this earth who wants you and you still can’t see that i’m sick of it.”

I frown, “Then tell me to stop.”

He groans, his adam's apple bobbing as he looks away, “That's the problem. I’m sick of it because after this we’ll go back to my room and sleep. And then you’ll wake up and kiss my cheek in those fucking satin shorts you love and you’ll leave me for the next date who won’t text you fast enough or pick you up after a hard day.”

I’m absolutely silent now. “No… that’ll be me who has my notifications on extra loud just for you and my keys always in hand just in case I hear that *ping* from my phone. I’m sick of it because you can’t see that any of those guys will never treat you as good as I do. I’ll worship you forever.”

His hand is still on my knee.

It’s silent, besides Lando’s soft breathing from his rant and my heart beating so fast that I swear he can hear it.

“I’m sick of it too.” I don’t think. I just act. His lips are on mine in a second, my hands gripping his face as he reacts late to the sudden contact. “I’m so sorry.” I breathe out as he stares at me, my lipstick is on him.

He doesn’t say anything before one hand snakes up my leg and another is gripping my waist, pulling me into the best kiss of my life.

He’s not rough, just eager. Something I match easily as he slides me closer so he’s in between my legs. His tongue slides into my mouth as my hand finds his hair. Fuck I love his hair.

“You’re an idiot.” I breathe in between kisses.

“So are you.” He fights back as he tugs at my hair playfully.

I grin. “Touché.”

“But you’re fucking amazing.” He kisses my jaw, “Every part of you.”

I tilt my head back and drop my arms to my side as he clings onto me still. “All the guys… the dates… I really did dream that you’d save me from all that. I think I may have done it to provoke you.”

He laughs and pulls back, his green eyes playful and bright, “You’re an evil mastermind.”

I smile and use my thumb to wipe away my lipstick on his chin, “I like getting what I want.”

“You staying for breakfast tomorrow?”

“I’m staying forever.”

[hannahssimblr]

Afterwards, my parents call. Obligatory. Happy Christmas, son, kind of thing. Tap. Camera. Their faces show up on the screen, heads uncomfortably close to one another, as though they are trying to create the illusion of happiness. For who? I think. I already know your marriage is fucked. 

“Is it late?” My mother is saying, and I tell her no. Just an hour difference. It’s past eleven.  

In the background, granny complains about a stain in the tablecloth. Ah, I think. That’s for who. Playacting happy families to please a woman who has never experienced pleasure in her life. 

It is one of those calls with a lot of pauses. Dead air, where nobody knows what to say. All waiting for the minutes to tick down, to reach an acceptable time to hang up. 

“You’ll get our gift when you get back to Berlin.” That’s dad, speaking in that way where he doesn’t open his mouth all the way, can’t be bothered moving his jaw. 

“Thanks. What is it?”

“The 4S,” he says, at the same moment mom says, “it’s a surprise.”

“Nice, thanks.”

“Your iPhone working out okay?”

“Yeah, could be better, though. Could be the 4S.” 

Nobody says anything. Sounds in the background. The television on. Running ads. 

“You were missed this year,” says mom. “When are you coming home?”

“March, I think.”

“Do you think you’ll bring Astrid?”

Glancing now at her, reading her book at the head of the bed. She looks up and pulls a face. 

“I’ll ask her.”

“I know Ivy wants to meet her.”

“Yeah, I know that. It just depends on our schedules and stuff.”

“Are you being respectful to her family?” That’s dad, out of the blue, like he’s been holding that one in.

“No,” I say.

“I know how you are with grown-ups. If I found out you’ve been rude or ungrateful towards them… It’s generous of them to take you for Christmas, and I hope you’ve been gracious.”

“Yeah, dad, I’ve been literally so nice. What did you think I was going to do to them? I’m an adult, like. You don’t need to talk to me like this anymore.” 

“Well, I know some things don’t change so easily. May I remind you of the calls we got about your behaviour from other parents and your teachers?”

I heave out a sigh. The insanity of his idea that Gitte might phone him in Ireland to complain about the behaviour of his twenty-year-old son. “He didn’t thank me for the Rødkål,” she’ll say somberly, and he’ll be humiliated, forced to apologise on my behalf, promising to discipline me appropriately at the end of term. 

“See? You act this way, sighing like a teenager, and then wonder why I worry about your behaviour. When you grow up and consider the impact this attitude has on the reputation of this family, then—”

“Ivy’s gone to bed, has she?” I continue conversationally and force him to stop talking through my favourite tactic, pretending he is not there. Mom nods. “She was up early opening her presents.”

“Mad that even when there’s no Santa anymore, she’s still doing that.”

“Yes.” Her mouth twitches like she thinks she’s smiling. “Not as early as a couple of years ago.”

“Yeah, the four o’clock wake up call was not ideal. Did she like the polaroid camera?”

“She loved it. Already ran out of film taking pictures of a cat in the garden.”

“Classic.”

Silence. “How are your finances?” 

Irritation blooms in my chest. The urge to hang up the phone. “Fine, I think. I don’t know.”

“You’re being careful with your money?”

“Yes.”  

“Ivy would have been happy with something worth ten or fifteen euros. She doesn’t need expensive things from you. Just a token would do. One of those Pillow Pets.”

“It’s fine. I’ve enough.”

“Okay, because you know when it’s gone, it’s gone, Jude. We’ve agreed–”

“Yes!” I cry. “Yes, I know. It’s fine. I have money.”

“Okay. I hope you didn’t spend more than you needed, is all I’m saying. It’s natural to want to impress people with gifts, you know, especially when you have a girlfriend, but if she really cares for you, then she won’t expect–”

“I have to go. She’s calling me.”

Astrid looks up, frowning. 

“Oh,” says mom.

“Yeah, sorry, she needs me to do something. I have to go. Thanks for the iPhone, or whatever. I’ll thank you again when I get back to Berlin. Tell Ivy I was asking after her. Bye.” End Call button. They’re swallowed by the home screen. 

I fall sideways onto the bed while Astrid’s mouth curls up. “Your phone conversations with your family are quite stressful.”

“Mostly because they don’t know how to be normal.” I wriggle my head toward her lap. “What are we reading?”

“My new book.”

“From Mia? You haven’t sacrificed it?”

“She has good taste, unfortunately.”

“Hm.”

Her hand comes to my scalp, stroking it with her nails. I love that. Let my eyes close as tingles cascade down the back of my skull. “That is the first time I’ve heard your father’s voice.”

“Oh, yeah, he and I don’t really talk except on special occasions.”

“He sounds highly strung.”

“Hmph,” I chuckle. “Understatement. He thinks his life is on the precipice of catastrophe at every moment. He has the central nervous system of a man being hunted by a charging bear.”

“He doesn’t think very much of your manners, does he?”

“Doesn’t think much of me in general.”

“That’s a shame,” combing my fringe back from my forehead, looking at me with a gentle expression. “I think there’s a lot to love.”

A fluttery feeling in my stomach, like how I felt before we were together, when I’d still only touched her in my imagination. I want to trust her. Betrayed her earlier, with Mia in the study. Should have been loyal, knew she’d tell me about her past when she was ready. Times like this when her face is soft and open, I feel I could tell her anything in the world, but it’s only fear, I don’t know, habit, even, that prevents me. Always coming close to saying something about myself, but never doing it. Since when am I like this? This is who I am to people in Berlin. Was in Dublin, too, I suppose, but it’s worse now. I don’t want it to be worse.

“He basically told me I was shit my entire life,” I say. Oh God, a confession. Lingering there. Astrid's face doesn't change. No shock or disgust.

“As a child, too?” She says.

“Yeah, he… well, he didn’t really raise me. That was Maureen, in America. She did all the actual work. He’d visit some weekends at college and hang around the house acting completely bored, like, obviously, just waiting to leave again. All the pictures of us together, he’s not even smiling or anything. Kind of trying to, maybe, but his face always looked so strained. I dunno. I think it was that he just didn’t want a kid yet. He would have, later, but I tried to ruin his plans, being born and all. He had this rigid life plan. He’d go to college, become a dentist, have a lot of money in the bank, then he’d meet a woman, get married, and have a baby. It all happened upside down for him, and it freaked him out on a cellular level. If you knew him it’d make sense. He gets agitated when things aren’t done the right way.”

“Too bad your mother seduced him, then.”

I smirk. “That’s probably what he’d say, yeah. It was all her fault, or whatever.”

“She was just too sexy to resist.”

“Ugh, please.”

“She is beautiful, your mother. You can tell she was even better when she was young. Not that she is old, I suppose. No wrinkles that I have ever seen.”

“She’s thirty-nine, and she gets injections in her face.”

“So what?”

“Well, whatever. She ruined his plans then. We did, the two of us. I had the power to ruin his life from within the womb, which is pretty cool, actually. He was so mad at me, it was like he refused to form a bond out of stubbornness alone. He knew how to do all these things, like fish and sail and shoot, but never taught me how. Maureen was always on at him to take me on trips.”

“And he didn’t?”

“No, he did, like, about twice, but I always ended up doing something that annoyed him. Like being frightened by dead animals, which was obviously unforgivable. He was going on then all the time about how soft I was.”

“Being soft is okay.”

I glance up at her. “I’m not that soft.”

“If you say so.”

“Well, anyway, basically he just doesn’t respect me, and I don’t respect him, and we kind of barely tolerate each other and always have, and were forced to exist under the same roof for like, eight years after we moved to Ireland. He thinks I’m fundamentally stupid, and lazy, and lacking foresight and follow through, no backbone, weak, stupid, rude, a pathetic excuse…” I break off, sudden horrible sensation, like I might actually cry. Sad. It’s only Christopher, but being in Astrid’s lap while she touches my hair like this has me in a vulnerable condition. A six-foot-three baby, upset because his dad didn't pay him attention. 

“You’re not those things,” she murmurs. “He’s wrong.”

What I want to hear. She doesn’t do that a lot, reassure me. She assumes I don’t need it, and sometimes, it’s what I prefer. Getting to feel a bit invincible. Could be the influence of her environment that has her like this, surrounded by the memories, old photos, Nicklas’ mother, earlier, saying hello to her in the long grass like a ghost from simpler times. Whatever it is, I like it. I like her here. Even the ugly things.

“I like talking to you like this,” I murmur. “It’s nice.”

“Mm, yes.”

“We should feel okay doing it more, I think. You can tell me things if you want to. I’ll never judge you.”

“I have nothing to tell you. Nothing is important.”

“Okay.” Sleepier. The world taking on a dreamy, surreal feeling. “If you want, you could come to Ireland with me in March. See where I grew up.”

“Oh, you make Ireland sound so boring.”

“You said the same of Denmark, and here we are. I think it’s grand.”

“That is only your perception.”

“You really wouldn’t come? It will be even more boring without you.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Ivy will be so sad.”

“Ivy will survive.” Her hand moves to my face, skimming her nail gently down the bridge of my nose. Mystical finger shapes cross my vision. “Tell me what you will do there.”

“Play by play?”

“Mm.”

“I’ll meet Jen,” I say. “And maybe we’ll go to the pub. My friend Shane might join. Lives in Dublin now. They meet up sometimes. His girlfriend, too. She’s nice.”

“Mm.”

“And, I dunno. I suppose I might take Ivy to the cinema. Get her out of the house. Get pizza. She likes taking the train into the city together, looking out over the bay and all. Maybe we’ll–” a yawn escapes me, “maybe we’ll go up the coast. Cliff walks. Dead cold in March, mind, but so nice. Seagulls are villainous, there. Ravenous for chips, they rip them out of your hand.”

“Yes, mm,” she’s not really listening, but I don’t mind. Talking just to talk. It’s about being together more than anything. The importance of just touching, laying against the other, fingers intertwining lazily as white tufts appear, drifting outside the window. 

“Snow,” I say, interrupting my own monologue. “It’s snowing.”

Hardly looking up. “It won’t stay.”

“I’ve never seen snow on Christmas before.” Magical. 

“It’s just a little. Not proper snow.”

“A white Christmas.”

“No, another grey one.”

Suddenly, it’s all wonderful. Her, and me, and here. Love as a concept. And the snow coming down in little flurries, the quiet space between one year and the next, where time is slow and nothing is urgent. Not knowing if you’re supposed to wish on the first snow, but wishing anyway, for more of this, her, us, for a peaceful year. 

“Will you kiss me?” I whisper, so quietly she doesn’t hear me. 

“What?”

“Kiss me.”

She does. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[myceliumsunshine]

The Truth Hurts - Sam Winchester

A/N - longest one shot i've ever written! fluff and angst galore. no use of y/n, reader is shorter than sam and has hair (no length described)

word count: 3865. enjoy!

He’s asleep at the table with his head in his arms when you come back to the bunker. You’re quiet - silent because you have to be, you can’t wake him. You don’t want to wake him because waking him would mean facing him. You hear someone clearing their throat softly, drawing your attention to Dean standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and a look of concern written all over his face. Your shoulders sink - you’re exhausted, having been bouncing from hunt to hunt for the last few days, with no rest in between.

Hunting was the only place you would be safe, away from the eyes of the man sleeping on the table.

You glance at him again, begging Dean to be quiet with your whole being.

“Where have you been?” Dean said softly, glancing at the sleeping man as well. “We’ve been worried.”

“Hunting.” You whisper into the air, the word pulled from your chest. You’d figured out the best option was not talking, followed by simple one word answers.

“Hunting? That’s it, that’s all you got for us? You’ve been missing for 2 weeks, no contact, nothing. You get hit by some spell, tell us you’ll meet us back at the bunker, and then disappear off the face of the earth! Not even Cas could find you!” The softness that had previously been in his voice was gone, anger apparent.

“Wanted to figure out the counter-spell. Couldn’t.” The second part escapes you before you can help it. Dean’s eyes soften, his lips pulled down into a frown.

“Did you talk to Rowena?” He asked.

“I don’t consider her answer an option.” You tell him.

“Wait, so Rowena has an answer but you won’t do it? What do you have to do?” Dean asked.

“I don’t consider it an option.” You repeated simply, feeling the real answer tug at you, trying to move to your lips without your consent. 

“What spell did you even get hit with?” Dean asked, putting his hands on his hips. Your eyes widen, trying to think of something.

“I don’t want to tell you.” You said simply. Dean growled lowly in the back of his throat.

“You aren’t giving me much to work with.” He sighed. “Will you at least tell Cas when he gets back? He might be able to find you something that you ‘consider an option’,” Dean’s fingers quoting around the words.

“I don’t want to tell him, but I have to if I want to attempt to fix this the way I want to.” You said with annoyance, the words pulled from you. “If Cas can’t find anything then I want to leave again. I want to know when he’ll be back.”

That had been an annoying part of the spell. Questions like ‘when will he be back?’ technically had no truth to them - as there was nothing to be truthful - so you had to rephrase them to be truthful.

“Jeez, he’ll be back soon.” When you open your mouth. “And before you demand to know more, I don’t know exactly when.”

You frown.

Sam’s still asleep at the table, confirmed by a flicker of your eyes. Dean looks over at his brother, catching the way you check on him.

“This is the longest he’s slept since you were gone.” Dean tells you, and your frown deepens.

“He-” You look for the right words to say. “It’s not healthy. To stay healthy, he should be sleeping 8 hours a night.”

It’s not what you wanted to say, but it’s the truth. Dean frowns.

“This spell affects what you say, doesn’t it?” You sigh.

“It does. I don’t want to tell you how.” Dean shook his head at your answer.

“Does it have something to do with him?”

Your shoulders drop. “I’m making it have something to do with him. I don’t want it to have something to do with him. I want the spell to be gone and for everything to go back to normal.”

Dean looks at the floor. “You have to tell the truth. And breaking the spell - you have to tell him the truth about-”

“That’s what Rowena and the witch who spelled me said. They said it was the only way to break the spell. I don’t believe either of them.”

Dean watches as you say the last word and take a sharp, painful intake of breath. You let out a choked noise of pain, obviously trying to be quiet so as to not wake Sam, blood covering your teeth.

“What, what happened?” Dean rushed to your side, catching you as you threatened to drop to the ground.

“I have to tell the truth. I can lie. Lying while under the effects of the spell will kill me.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “Why did you lie?”

“I didn’t mean to lie. I thought I didn’t believe either of them, but I clearly do, deep down.” You sigh. “I know deep down that I have to tell Sam.”

A small noise came from the table. Confused and sleepy, it pulled the arguing pair’s attention to the man at the table. He shifted, sniffed, let out a little sigh and settled back into sleep.

“I don’t want to wake him,” You murmured softly. Dean set you down on your knees, as you clearly weren’t getting up any time soon.

“He’ll understand, you know?”

“I don’t want understanding, I want… I want reciprocation. I know I’m selfish. I know not telling him will probably kill me, Dean, But I want to be selfish for once.” Dean’s eyes traced your face as you looked at the ground. You look pathetic, on your knees, skin covered in a sheen of sweat, spitting out blood to the floor beneath you. You looked up at him, tears threatening to spill. “I think I deserve to be selfish.”

The coughed choking that spills from your mouth, the blood that splatters on his shoes, it makes Dean’s eyes soften in upset.

“You do. You deserve to be as selfish as you want. You don’t have to tell him.”

“Dean… Most things I say around him are lies. I- I can’t tell the truth without telling him.”

“So, if you talk to Sam, you’ll die?” He whispered, looking over at his sleeping brother. You look at Dean, and the pain in your eyes is all the answer he needs. “Then you won’t talk to him. We’ll keep you away from him while we figure out how else we can break this spell.”

You turn back to Dean, who’s looking at you like you’re the most tragic thing he’s ever seen - no, like you were the most tragic thing anyone had ever and would ever see. The look on his face, it’s begging you not to leave again.

“Okay. I’ll stay. But I don’t want Sam to know.” You choked again, gagging.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay.” Dean rubs a hand on your back and helps you up. The tears that had threatened to spill did so then, and he pushed your head into the crook of his shoulder. “You don’t have to say anything.”

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

It had been weeks.

Weeks of sneaking around the bunker, away from Sam’s sight, away from Sam’s questions, away from Sam.

It was killing you.

Watching as Sam moped around the bunker he didn’t know you’d gone back to living in, it felt the same way that lying did. Pain built in your chest, seizing your heart and tugging on it.

You hadn’t talked much in the weeks you’d been back at the bunker, Cas having mostly one sided conversations while Dean distracted Sam. And when you did lie, Cas would do what he could to ease the pain, his blue eyes bleeding with the same pain you felt in your chest. 

Cas couldn’t get rid of the spell. That had been the first avenue of help that Dean had tried. Then he looked into the books, searching for a way to break a spell. He’d talked to Rowena, threatened her, but she’d only told him the very thing that the books had been telling him.

“A spell that strong, the condition needs to be met. The witch that cursed them has control over the spell until the condition she set is met. Until then,” Rowena had said, “there’s nothing anyone can do.”

If Dean had been a stupider, more desperate man, he might have gone to the cross roads to bargain for his friend’s freedom, but he knew you would have killed him.

Besides, what Dean didn’t know was that you’d already tried that avenue and been turned down.

Your eyes flickered over Sam as you watched his usually tall frame curled up on a chair at the table, doing research on something. You frowned before turning away. You couldn’t watch him anymore. It was too painful.

Walking silently through the bunker, your feet against the cold ground, you came to your old room. You’d been staying in some random room deep in the bunker since you’d gotten back, somewhere Sam would never go.

You opened the door to your old room and slipped inside. Nothing inside had been moved, your gun still half put back together on your bedside table, the sheets still messily strewed across the floor where you’d pushed them off in the middle of the night, your closet still open, shirts hanging above the graveyard of dirty clothes. It was familiar. It was comforting.

Your hand came to your face, wiping the tear that seemed to burn a track down your face. You were tired. You wanted to sleep in your own bed. The bed in the other room at the back of the bunker was rock solid, dusty, and one of the springs was broken and no matter how you slept, it always seemed to stab into some part of you.

You picked up the sheets off the floor, making your bed neatly, before slipping into it. You turned to lay the way you usually did, with your stomach on the bed, your leg propped up, your arms under the pillow and your head facing away from the door, with the mirror facing it in the corner of your vision. You sighed happily, finally comfortable after nearly two months of sleeping in beds that weren’t your own.

Your eyes drifted shut.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Sam sighed, closing the laptop. He hadn’t made any progress on finding you. You seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth.

He stood and stretched, feeling the relieving crack of his back that had been hunched over his laptop for the last 16 hours. He yawned, frowning and looking at the time. Shit. It was late. He’d promised Dean he would try to get more sleep. But he just could sleep knowing you were out there somewhere affected by some spell.

He wandered through the halls, thinking about you. He missed you. Every day. You brought light to his life that he hadn’t even realised was there until you weren’t. You made him laugh, you made him smile, you made him happy. You… he hadn’t realised until he didn’t have you anymore, but you were the love of his life.

He placed his laptop onto his bed side table with a gentle hand, looking at his bed. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep in here. He needed to go to your room.

Sam had been doing that recently. He realised that your bed seemed to hold at least a bit of the comfort that you brought him. It eased his mind, if only slightly, to sleep where you once had. He hadn’t touched anything, leaving the sheets on the ground where you had pushed them off, your clothes dirty in the bottom of your closet, the gun on the side table.

He pattered through the halls, being sure to stay silent, before slipping into your room and closing the door behind him. Turning around Sam was met with the shock of his life.

Someone was asleep in your bed. And it seemed to be you.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

An arm slipped around your waist.

You frowned sleepily, making a noise in questioning. The warmth behind you let out a quiet shushing noise, assuring you everything was okay.

“Go back to sleep,” The warmth told you. You felt safe in the warmth’s arms.

You drifted back to sleep.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

“Cas!” Dean whisper-shouted. “You were supposed to keep an eye on them!”

“It’s not my fault! They were staring at Sam and I couldn’t watch them anymore! They were just standing there sadly!” Cas whisper-shouted back.

“Well now they’re missing, and so is Sam!”

Cas glared at Dean, but he knew the human was right. “Look. I’m sorry. But I couldn’t pull them away, and I couldn’t watch them stare at him like he was all they ever wanted, just out of reach. They’re my friend, and it makes me sad to see them in so much pain.”

Dean sighed, grabbing Cas’ hand to comfort him. “Well. They couldn’t have gotten too far. Maybe they’re both still in the bunker?” Dean suggested weakly, knowing it probably wasn’t true.

“Let’s look in the bunker first, just in case.” Cas agreed, his tone just as weak. The pair searched the bunker together, first the area where they had confined you to, and then slowly back to the middle where the group usually hung out. No luck. 

The door to your old room was ajar. Dean looked to Cas.

“Surely they didn’t go into their room?” Cas asked. “No, Sammy’s been sleeping in there since I forced him to promise he’d sleep more.” Dean informed him. He stuck his head in the door, checking on his brother, who had finally moved the sheets back up onto the bed and was wrapped in them. He smiled softly at the sight, his brother finally having what seemed to be a good sleep, wrapped around a pillow that Dean couldn’t see.

He closed the door behind himself looking at Cas, who was asking the question with his eyes. Dean shook his head before pausing.

Since when did his brother wrap himself around a pillow to sleep? Dean opened the door once more and walked inside this time, moving around the bed.

And there you were, wrapped in his brother’s arms.

Cas stood behind Dean. “Should we wake them?” He asked quietly.

Dean shook his head, before pulling out his phone and taking a photo. “Let them figure it out on their own when they wake up. Let’s go.”

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Waking was a slow and comfortable affair. Warm, wrapped up in sheets, an arm over your waist. It didn’t click that there shouldn’t be an arm over your waist until Sam was pulling you closer and burying his face into the back of your shoulder.

Your eyes widened. The man you had been ignoring for nearly two months was curled around you like he belonged there. You needed to get out, before he woke up and ruined everything. You needed to leave the bunker and never come back, damn the consequences, damn the curse. You could learn to live with it, or you could die a premature death having not had to put up with Sam’s puppy dog eyes begging you to explain your absence.

You moved, pulling yourself away from him as slowly as you could so as not to wake him.

Sam stirred regardless.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Sam felt the warmth in his arms move away from him. He muttered something, not really sure what he was saying, but it was some form of disapproval of the movement in his arms.

“Shh. I want you to go back to sleep.” He heard, the voice familiar and soothing. It was you. You were here, in his arms. And then Sam remembered what had happened last night. Finding you asleep in your bed, deciding not to wake you up, crawling in there with you. Finally sleeping soundly, no nightmares, because you were here, in his arms, safe at last.

But now you were getting up, leaving him again.

“No…” He whispered. “Stay. Please.”

You paused. Then you kept moving. Away from him.

“Don’t leave me again.” He whimpered, still mostly asleep. He didn’t understand what was going on. Why wouldn’t you stay with him? Why wouldn’t you just tell him what was going on?

Something wet fell on his hand as he reached for you. When he opened his eyes, you were crying. “I want to leave.” You said, a pained look crossing your face, a sharp hiss of breath leaving your mouth.

He was up in second, by your side, all sense of sleep gone from his mind. “What? What’s the matter? Are you hurt?” More tears tracked down your face.

“I’m fine, Sam.” Another wince escaped you, and he looked over you for what was causing the pain.

“Just tell me what’s hurting you, and we can get Cas to fix it. Okay?”

“I want to leave.” You said again, clutching your chest as blood poured from your nose and ears.

“DEAN!!” He yelled. “DEAN!!”

Dean was in there in a second, at your side and pulling you away from Sam and into his arms. Cas was behind him, and he pressed a hand to your head which was against Dean’s chest and the blood that was leaking from you stopped and disappeared.

“God, you weren’t just being stubborn.” Dean said. “It really will kill you.”

Kill you? What did Dean mean by that? Did he know something that Sam didn’t?

“What do you mean, ‘kill you’?” Sam asked, and Dean turned to him, then to Cas. He passed you to Cas, and you leaned against him weakly.

“Take them and get them away from Sam.” Dean told the angel, who nodded and then they were gone, Cas having flown them somewhere.

“Where did he take them? What’s going on Dean? They’ve been missing nearly two months. How do you know what’s going on? And why do they need to get away from me?”

“They… They’ve been staying in the bunker. They came back two weeks after they disappeared.”

“TWO WEEKS? They’ve been missing two months, but no one thought to tell me that we found them over a month ago?” Sam hissed angrily.

“It wasn’t for us to tell you.” Dean hissed back. “They insisted.”

Sam paused at that. The anger drained out of his body. “Do they really hate me that much?”

“No. God, Sammy, no. The spell. They can’t talk to you because of the spell. You saw what happened.” Sam looked at his brother. Right. The spell that had hit you right before your disappearance.

“I’m killing them? How did they know I would kill them?” He asked.

“Uh, you were asleep at the table when they got back. I… I should go talk to them.” And then Dean was gone, leaving Sam alone with his thoughts.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

“What were you thinking?” Dean hissed as he stormed in, causing you to wince. You were still weak from the spell. Cas’ healing was beginning to not be enough, the spell hurting you stronger than what the angel could do for you.

“I wanted to sleep in my own bed. That’s what I was thinking.” Dean frowned, looking at you as you lay back on Cas’ chest in the bed that you’d been staying in. You looked weak, pathetic. You looked like you were dying.

“We can’t find anything on this frigging spell and how to break it.” Dean changed the subject, pulling his eyes away from you. 

“We know how to break it.” You said with a sigh. “I have to tell him. Or I have to die.”

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Tell him what?

Sam knew it was wrong. Following Dean, eavesdropping on your conversations. It was wrong, but Sam needed to know what was going on.

“You didn’t want to tell him though.” Cas reminded her as he brushed your hair off of your forehead. Sam silently seethed, he should be the one holding you, comforting you, but with every brush of his hand, your face seemed to relax more, the pain in your eyes seemed to dissipate, so Sam let it go.

“I know. But it seems like it’s the only way. I have to tell Sam the truth or I have to die. Because there is no other cure to this spell. And this spell will kill me if I don’t tell him soon.” You said softly. Dean nodded.

“Okay. If you want to tell him, then that’s your choice. But what will you do if this doesn’t go the way you want?”

You sighed. “The spell will be broken. My life will be saved. But my time with you will be over.”

Over? What did you mean, over? Sam waited for you to continue, but Dean just closed his eyes, nodding, before pulling you up off of the bed from Cas’ arms and into his own.

“I hope this goes right. I’ll miss you if it doesn’t.” Dean said quietly. Cas stood, then joined the hug.

“We will miss you.” He corrected.

You nodded, knees shaky and eyes filled with tears.

“I have to go find Sam.”

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

You slipped out the door of your room and looked at Sam.

“I want to know how much you heard.” You said quietly. Sam looked at you, panic clear on his face.

“Tell me what? Don’t leave again,” He begged. “Don’t leave me.”

You looked into his eyes. They were full of tears, full of pain.

“I love you.” You blurted out. Sam blinked, and then he was on you in a second, one hand in your hair, another cradling your face, his lips on yours.

You melted into the kiss, gripping onto his shirt in an attempt to stay upright. Sam noticed your jelly legs, and backed the pair of you up until you were pushed against the wall. You smiled into the kiss, feeling the spell wash away from the grip it had on your heart. 

Sam pulled back from the kiss, resting his forehead against yours, both hands cradling your face now. “Tell me again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you.”

“One more time?”

You giggled. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You leaned up to his lips again, your hands threading through the hair on the back of his neck.

“Say it again?” You asked, and he laughed, throwing his head back.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too.” You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him in for a hug. He settled into it, tucking his chin under your head and breathing in contentedly.

“What was the spell?” Sam asked curiously, keeping your head tucked under his chin.

“‘Tell the man you love the truth about your feelings for him or die a painful death’,” She repeated what the witch had told her. “I figured out pretty quickly that lying was what caused the death. But I figured the truth would hurt more.”

Sam smiled into your hair. “You love me.” He teased in a sing-song-y voice.

“Always have. Always will.”

[morgana-larkin]

Here’s Part 14 of Just Tired! So to add more drama and growth I decided for the reader to have a fear of intimacy, which is fear of getting close to people because you think they will leave you. I have this fear and thought I should add it to the story. Also this got way more dramatic than I intended but this was my brain at 3am. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

Just Tired - Part 14

Warnings: manipulative relationship (mentioned), fear of intimacy

Words: 4.7k

Melissa wakes up with your arm wrapped around her. She then remembers that after her breakdown, you both ate with Barb and then you comforted her until you both fell asleep. Melissa reaches out for her phone and looks at the time, 5:02am. She sighs as her alarm doesn’t go off for another half hour. She carefully turns around so she can face you while your arm is still around her. She then nuzzles her head on your chest and hums.

“Morning.” You say softly and a little raspy.

“I hope I didn’t wake you.” She tells you as you open your eyes.

“You did, but that’s ok.” You tell her and stroke her head. “How are you feeling?” You ask her.

“A lot better than yesterday.” She tells you. “But I still can’t believe Joe won’t sign the divorce papers.”

“You’ll get through this.” You tell her and she looks at you.

“Have you ever been in love?” She asks you.

“No, I haven’t. The only love I’ve ever felt is my parents, well, until I came out.” You tell her.

“How would I know what non toxic love feels like if it hasn’t happened before? I know I loved Joe but I shouldn’t have, it just felt so nice to feel seen.” She tells you. “With 8 younger siblings, the older ones sorta disappear as the young ones are being taken care of.” She tells you.

“Maybe you can ask Barb, she’s been in a loving relationship for like 30 years.” You tell her and she hums.

“When I was growing up, I helped to take care of my siblings as I was the oldest, and I was pretty much doing the same thing with Joe, taking care of him.” She tells you.

“And who was taking care of you?” You ask her.

“I was taking care of myself.” She tells you and you push her hair back behind her.

“Maybe you should start thinking about yourself, and maybe find someone who is willing to take care of you.”

“I don’t need someone who will take care of me.” She tells you sternly,

“I know you don’t need to but wouldn’t it be nice?” You ask her and then your alarm goes off, startling you both. “I need to go home and get ready.” You say as you grab your phone and turn off the alarm. “I’ll see you at school.” You say and give her forehead a kiss before getting out of bed.

Melissa was brushing her hair after stepping out of the shower when she caught a glimpse of a certain ring on her left hand. She looks at the wedding ring that Joe gave her and she sighs before she takes it off.

“Maybe I could sell it and get some money.” She says as she goes in her room and places it on the nightstand. She pulls up in the parking lot of the school and she gets out and walks inside.

“Oh, Mrs. Schemmenti.” Janine calls out to her and Melissa sighs before turning in her direction.

“What do you want, pipsqueak?” She asks her.

“Well I was wondering if you had any tips on how to get a child more engaged in reading? I have this student who can read but she doesn’t like to and doesn’t try to be more engaged and-”

“Janine, I don’t need the whole story. Just start by finding a subject they’d like to read and also find out why she doesn’t like to read.” Melissa says before she continues to walk to the breakroom and Janine follows her.

“Ok, ya, I can do that. Thank you, Mrs. Schemmenti.” Janine tells her and Melissa looks at her.

“Also call me Ms. Schemmenti.” She tells her and Janine looks at her in shock.

“Oh, did you get divorced?”

“Not yet.” She says and goes into her purse to get her phone out.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” Janine says and Melissa shrugs.

“I’m not sorry, unless it’s about the fact that I wasted 25 years on his sorry ass.” Melissa says and walks into the breakroom.

“Well if you need anything then you can let me know.” Janine tells her.

“Thanks for the offer, kid, but I don’t need any help.” Melissa says.

“Help with what?” You say from the coffee machine.

“Melissa is getting a divorce.” Janine tells you.

“And?” You say casually.

“You already know?”

“I do recall hearing something about it.” You say and Melissa is impressed at your responses.

“Melissa, aren't you at least upset that your marriage is ending?” Janine asks her and Melissa thinks about it for a second before shaking her head. “You said you were with him for 25 years, I mean Tariq and I haven’t been together that long but-” Janine starts explaining but you cover her mouth.

“No one needs to know about your love life.” You tell her and sit down beside Jacob.

Melissa starts at her whiteboard where it says ‘Mrs. Schemmenti’ at the top. She then erases the rs and puts an s after the M.

“There, that’s better.” She says.

“It does look better that way.” You tell her and she looks to see you standing at the doorway.

“You need a bell or something, I didn’t even hear you.” She tells you and you chuckle.

“Well I don’t make my presence known by wearing heels.” You tell her.

“Something you need?” She asks.

“Nope, just noticed that you took your wedding ring off and Janine was telling me that you told her to call you Ms instead of Mrs.” You say to her.

“And? What’s it to ya?”

“I’m just proud that you’re making these changes.” You tell her and then you go to leave.

“You helped me.” She says and you turn back around. “You talked about moving forward and realised that I don’t need the ring and the name as reminders.” She says and you smile and nod.

“Well, you’re welcome.” You say and then you go to your classroom.

You and Melissa are both outside your classrooms as you greet the students. You then see an adult walk up to Melissa as they drop the student off.

“You’re Mrs. Schemmenti?” They ask her.

“It’s Ms. Schemmenti, but yes.” She tells them. “Morning Layla.” She greets her student.

“I’m her aunt, just dropping her off and picking her up, she’s staying with me this week as her parents had to go out of town.” The woman says. “She talks about you a lot, saying how much you’re helping her with reading, even with her dyslexia.” She tells Melissa.

“Well she’s a bright kid, just needs a little help with something, that’s what I’m here for.” Melissa tells the woman and all her students are getting settled in the classroom. “She’s told me a lot about you but forgot to mention how beautiful you are.” She says and both you and Melissa look at her in shock before she walks away.

“Ms. Y/l/n.” A student calls out to you and snaps you out of all the thoughts going through your head.

“Yes?” You ask them and see Jordan there with a hand over his stomach.

“I don’t feel good.” They tell you.

Melissa is in shock about what the woman said to her and then she hears you yelp. She whips her head towards you and sees you looking in shock and a puddle of vomit on the ground.

“Sorry Ms. Y/l/n.” Jordan tells you.

“It’s ok Jordan, are you still not feeling well?” You ask him and he nods his head.

“Ok, I’ll bring you to the nurse.” You say and then look around. “Melissa, can you keep an eye on my class for 5 minutes?” You ask her and she nods her head before you take Jordan’s hand. “Also if you see Mr. Johnson, please tell him about this mess.” You say to her before you leave with your student.

You return a few minutes later and see Mr. Johnson at your doorway cleaning the puddle.

“Thanks Melissa.” You tell her as you see her in the middle of the hallway, watching both classes.

“Not a problem, hon.” She tells you and then she walks into her classroom.

After school that woman came back to pick up her niece and goes right up to Melissa.

“Hi, sorry if I made you uncomfortable this morning, just didn’t expect you to be my type.” She tells Melissa and you look at them from across the hall.

“Oh, you didn’t, I just got into dating again and not used to compliments about my looks.” Melissa says with a smile.

“My name is Sheena.” She says as she extends a hand and Melissa shakes it.

“Melissa.”

“That’s a beautiful name.” Sheena says.

“Thank you.” Melissa tells her as a student walks up to her.

“Ms. Schemmenti, a kid from Ms. Y/l/n class pushed me.” The student tells her and she looks to see you helping a kid tying up his shoes.

“Oh no, you alright Jade?” She asks them. “Which kid?”

“That one.” She says and points to one of your students.

“Excuse me.” Melissa tells Sheena and walks over to you.

You stand back up after helping your student with his shoes and Melissa is there with a student.

“Ms. Schemmenti, something you need?” You ask her.

“Jade here just informed me that one of your students pushed her.” She tells you and you sigh.

“Oh no, was it Jake, that kid right there.” You say and point to Jake and Jade nods. “Oh, I’m sorry Jade, I’ll talk to him…again.” You say. “Jake, can you come over here for a minute.” You tell him.

“Yes?” Jake says.

“Did you push this girl?” You ask him and he looks at her and he shrugs.

“She was in the way.” Jake says.

“Jake, I’ve already talked with you about this, we don’t push people.” You tell him. “Can you apologise to her please?” You ask him and he turns to Jade.

“Sorry.” He says without sounding sorry.

“Thank you, now one more incident and I’ll have to talk to your parents.” You inform him and he walks away. You turn back around and see Melissa saying goodbye to Jade.

“Got a little troublemaker?” She asks you and you nod.

“I’ve already had to talk to his parents as he keeps interrupting the class. He’s showing signs of possible ADHD though so I’m trying to keep him engaged and give him pieces of paper to draw and fiddle with.” You tell her and she hums.

“Well, you’ll figure it out.” Melissa says and then goes back to her doorway and continues talking with Sheena. You sigh as you watch them talk and see Melissa laugh at whatever the woman said and then move your hands into fists and you feel your nails digging into your skin. “See you tomorrow Layla.” Melissa tells her student as Layla and Sheena leave. Once all the students leave, you grab your things and you’re able to leave while Melissa is busy grabbing her things.

Melissa gets her things and looks to see you gone and she looks in confusion as you always talk with her on the way to your cars or at least say goodbye. She gets to the parking lot and sees you in conversation with Barb and she decides to just leave.

“You don’t look too good, dear.” Barb tells you.

“I’m fine.” You tell her.

“Don’t you usually talk with Melissa as you go to your cars?” She asks you.

“I didn’t really feel like talking to her. Besides, she would probably rather talk with that aunt of one of her students than me.” You say, a bit bitter and Barb hums.

“You’re jealous.” Barb states, not a question at all.

“I’m not jealous, Melissa can flirt with whoever she wants.”

“But you don’t want her to flirt with anyone but you.” Barb says.

“She can do whatever she wants. Besides, it's just flirting, I don’t think it’ll go anywhere.” You tell her and then you say bye to her before you go to your car.

Barb gets home and Melissa is showing Gerald something on her phone.

“Do you think I should put that one?” Melissa asks him.

“Ya, it’s nice.” Gerald tells her.

“Oh Barb, what do you think of this photo?” Melissa asks her and shows Barb the photo.

“You look good. What do you need it for?” Barb asks her.

“For this dating app I downloaded.” Melissa says as she looks at her phone.

“You downloaded a dating app?”

“I downloaded a few. I asked a couple of my siblings some of the best ones to meet both men and women.” Melissa says. “They sent me a list. Had no idea there was so many now.”

“Your siblings know you’re divorced?”

“Just the youngest ones as they won’t tell Ma.” She says as she types out the bio. “What do people put in a bio?” Melissa asks. “Maybe I should ask Y/n.” Melissa says and Barb remembers your reaction to Melissa flirting and doesn’t want you to know Melissa is on dating apps.

“Oh I wouldn’t bother Y/n with this. Just be yourself, a little bit about yourself.” Barb tells her.

“Like what you’re looking for, any hobbies.” Gerald tells her and Melissa thinks about it before typing something in.

The next morning you step into the breakroom and you see Melissa showing something to Barb on her phone.

“Hi Y/n.” Janine says excitedly as you walk over to her, completely ignoring Melissa on the way, which does not escape Melissa.

She looks over at you with a confused expression as you always say hi to her. She can’t help but feel like you’re ignoring her for some reason, especially since you left yesterday without even a goodbye and you didn’t text her at all yesterday. Melissa tries to talk to you for most of the day but keeps getting interrupted and she can’t help but miss you.

“And she hasn’t spoken to you?” Barb asks her from the couch as Melissa is pacing back and forth.

“The last time she spoke to me was yesterday at lunch.” Melissa tells her.

“Do you have any idea why?” Barb asks her and Melissa shakes her head.

“No, I have no idea what happened or if I did something wrong. Like have I put too much on her? I mean she said she’s ok being my safety net but maybe she was just saying that.” Melissa starts rambling. “I don’t know what to do. Has she said something to you? I saw the two of you talking yesterday after school, what were you talking about?” She asks her and Barb doesn’t know what to say.

“You didn’t come up in conversation.” Barb settles with. She wants to tell Melissa but you told her not to say anything to her as you want Melissa to keep enjoying the new experiences in life.

“Hm, maybe I should call her and see if she wants to go out this weekend.” Melissa says and then she gets a notification on her phone. She sees that it’s a message from someone she’s talking with on one of the apps. She smiles as the man is asking her out this Saturday and Melissa agrees to meet at a coffee shop down the street. “Or maybe not, as I just got asked out for Saturday at a coffee shop.” Melissa tells Barb with a smile.

“Do these people know that you’re not looking for a relationship?” Barb asks her and Melissa nods.

“Yep, it’s right on my profile.” She says and Barb is conflicted.

She can see how happy Melissa is about having these new experiences but she feels bad that you’re getting hurt in the process. She also knows that if she told Melissa about what’s going on with you then Melissa will more than likely stop talking to all these people and put you first. She also knows that Melissa won’t know what to do as she’s not looking for a relationship but she doesn’t want to lose you in her life. But it seems as if you're shutting her out of your life even after promising Melissa that you would never do that.

“If she says anything to you, will you let me know?” Melissa asks Barb and Barb nods.

“Of course.”

You’re at home, sitting on your couch, pouring your second glass of wine. You fucked up again. You’ve done casual relationships before and only once did you catch feelings for someone and you ended up telling them and they wanted nothing to do with you after. You never should have done one with Melissa as you were already developing feelings for her. You thought Melissa would like the idea of a casual relationship and you could get the chance to kiss her and other things, but there’s one downside, you two aren’t exclusive. You’re both free to do anything with other people, and you’re aware that Melissa is really hot and can easily find other people to date or hook up with. You should have just stuck with being her friend instead of getting in this whole mess, or even you should have just kept your distance like she told you to do from the start.

The next morning Melissa is waiting in her car and then she sees you pull into the parking lot and she gets out. She walks right up to where you parked and corners you there.

“Why are you avoiding me?” She asks you and you turn around and see her there.

“Oh, h-hi Melissa.” You tell her and she crosses her arms.

“Why are you avoiding me?” She asks again and you sigh.

“I’ll tell you why but can it be after school?” You tell her and she furrows her eyebrows but agrees.

All day she’s thinking about what you could possibly say as there’s definitely something really wrong or else you would have already told her.

At the end of the day she meets you at your car and you come out and take a deep breath.

“So what’s going on?” She asks you and you look at her.

“I can’t do the casual dating anymore.” You say to her and she tilts her head.

“Ok, well that’s alright. A little disappointing but it’s no reason to avoid me for almost 3 days.” She tells you.” She tells you.

“There’s more, the real reason I’ve been avoiding you.” You say and take a deep breath and make sure not to look her in the eyes. “I don’t think I can be your safety net anymore, or even your friend.” You tell her and you hear her gasp.

“Why not?” She asks you.

“Because I’m not equipped to handle this. I’m 25 and just out of school to be a teacher. I’m a teacher, not a therapist or a parent to another teacher. I should have just listened to you and stayed away from you.” You tell her and you accidentally look at her eyes and see how they’re full of pain and it almost breaks you.

“I took a chance on being friends with you, you helped me see what kind of marriage I was in, you’ve been helping me through it since. And you’re just going to give that up? You’re going to leave me?” She asks you.

“You told me yourself that you’re good at blocking people out of your life, so this should be easy for you.” You tell her and then you get in your car and drive away.

Barb is comforting Melissa on the couch after Melissa came home with tears in her eyes and told her everything that happened with you.

“It’ll be alright, Y/n is probably just overwhelmed and needs a breather, but I’m sure she’ll come around.” Barb says and makes a mental note to give you hell.

“She doesn’t want me in her life, after she promised me that she would never go anywhere.” Melissa says through sobs.

“How about I go to the grocery store and get some things to help? Like ice cream and chocolates?” Barb offers and Melissa looks at her.

“I just want to be alone.” Melissa says and then goes upstairs to her room. Barb then goes out to her car and drives to your place.

“Barb, what are you doing here?” You ask her once you open the door.

“Is your roommate home?” She asks and you shake your head. “Good, we need to talk.” She tells you as she walks in and you close the door. “So Melissa came home very upset and told me what happened.” Barb tells you. “Want to tell me what’s going on?” She asks you.

“Not much to tell. I fucked up in the past and didn’t want to make the same mistake. I left before I got more attached and before they get a chance to hurt me.” You tell her.

“Dear, what are you talking about?” Barb asks you gently and you both sit on the couch.

“I’ve lost many people in my life, not from death but from other reasons. And it hurts me everytime. There’s a reason I moved to Philly where no one knows me here and why I only do casual dating.” You tell her. “I was getting too close to Melissa when I shouldn’t have and when I saw her flirting with that girl, I realised that I got feelings for someone and they can just as easily leave me when they no longer want me in their life. So I left.” You continue on. “But it’s okay because we’ve only known each other for like a month and I doubt Melissa is still upset. I mean she told me she’s cut her own sister out of her life so I bet she’s already moved on.” You say.

“The sister that she cut out, her name is Kristen Marie and she misses her everyday.” Barb tells you and you look at her. “Melissa wears a tough exterior but you’ve seen how vulnerable she can be. You may have only known each other for a month but you cutting her out devastated her. Maybe it’s a good thing this happened now and not when you were both more attached to each other, because Melissa is emotionally unavailable and you, my dear, are afraid of your own emotions.” Barb tells you and you take a breath. “I thought you’d be a good thing in her life but I guess I was wrong.” Barb adds and you have to admit that it stung.

“I’m sorry.” You tell her and she looks at you.

“I understand that you’re afraid of people leaving you and I know Melissa is very good at kicking people out of her life, but she took a chance with you and you didn’t even tell her the truth for why you’re kicking her out of your life.” She tells you before she gets up. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She tells you before she leaves.

The next morning Melissa goes into her classroom and sees something on her desk. She walks up to it and sees a note with a gift card for a candy store. She then picks up the note and reads it.

‘You won the bet, enjoy some candy!’

-Y/n

Melissa reads it over and over again. She knows what bet you’re talking about but can’t understand how she’s won already as you still teach here, and that’s when it hits her. She crosses the hall and storms into your classroom as you’re writing something on the board.

“You’re leaving Abbott?” She asks you and you whip your head at her.

“Yes, I’ve applied to other schools and I have my resignation ready to go as soon as I get accepted somewhere else.” You tell her and Melissa is shocked.

“I thought you liked working here so far.” She says.

“I do, but I can’t stay here.” You say to her.

“And why’s that?”

“Why do you care? I cut you out of my life, you should be pretending that I don’t exist.” You say, harsher than you intended.

“You can cut me out of your life but I can’t pretend that everything that happened between us didn’t happen.” She tells you. “Yes, I cut people out of my life but it doesn’t mean that I’m never upset about it. Did everything that happened between us mean nothing and that’s why it’s so easy to cut me out?” She asks you.

“Easy? You think it was easy for me?” You ask her and she shrugs.

“It was extremely difficult but I had to.” You slip out and then immediately realise your mistake.

“What do you mean you had to?” She asks as she steps closer to you.

“Forget it, forget I said anything.” You say and she walks forward and grabs your wrist and you snap your head at her.

“Please tell me, if you’re going to cut me out then fine, but tell me the truth about why. I deserve that.”

“I got scared ok.” You say and she furrows her eyebrows in confusion. “I have lost so many people in my life, friends and family. I’m scared of losing people so I keep my distance. I mean I moved to Philly to have a fresh start as no one knows me here. I currently have no friends and I only do casual and hookups. I’ve never had a relationship before because I choose not to. I cut you out because we got too close for my liking, and when I get close to someone they always leave me so I’m the one who leaves now, to protect myself. I’m sorry, I thought that maybe I could let you in, all those things about staying with you, I meant them cause I thought that I should keep myself open to the possibility of a friend but I got scared.” You explain to her and she takes a deep breath.

“So you leave because you’re scared of being left?” She asks.

“I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense but ya. And also I developed feelings for you, real feelings. The last time that happened, I was casually dating them, I told them and they told me to get lost. I realised it when I saw you flirting with that aunt, how easy it can be to lose you, especially when you’re known for cutting people out of your life. And made me realise how meaningless our casual thing was, well at least meaningless for you.” You tell her.

“It wasn’t meaningless for me. I enjoyed every moment I got with you. It might have just been for a month but it’s been one of the best months of my life. I understand the fear of losing people, and trying to move forward but you’re scared. So I’m going to say something that a good friend told me. You move forward because you want to. Setbacks will happen but they only stop you from living if you let them.” She tells you and you let out an airy chuckle.

“Using my words against me?” You ask her and she nods.

“You can’t say no to yourself. But what you said is true. Listen, if you want me out of your life then it’ll be hard but I’ll stay away from you, but if you want to take a chance and move forward then I’d be happy to continue having you in my life, in whatever form that may be.” She says to you.

“You’d still want me even though I’ve told you to get lost?” You ask her.

“You’ve helped me so much, think of it as returning the favour. Also we’re more alike than I thought, we’re both excellent at cutting people out of our lives. But for me, you’re someone that I don’t want to cut out.” She tells you with a smile. “You don’t have to decide right now, but think about it.” She tells you before she goes to her classroom.

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[bwobgames]

As much as Ángel hates it, he loves a bit of meandering. Of course, walking around the almost endless fields of his grandma’s house is way different than the concrete jungle of the city.

There’s so much stuff, it’s almost overwhelming.

Thankfully, he has managed to keep his whelmings in check. Learning about his, uh, mental situation has truly helped making things easier!

Even though he is slightly whelmed, he’s still glad to be able to travel again.

The lack of masks in everyone’s faces gives him relief, although perhaps foolishly so?

If he ends up surviving Otherworldly organisms, assassination attempts AND the heat of the capital just to die to a preventable disease he is going to become a very angry ghost.

Alright, his whelmings are becoming too high. Ángel told him not to go places without people but surely a little detour won’t hurt right? Because the current street hurts very much.

Oh? There’s a small gathering of tourists there, yay! Following safety rules!

Ah.

It’s one of these.

Ángel doesn’t like them. He gets sad thinking about them.

Animita. A place to venerate those who died violent deaths, reaching the point of sainthood.

He sees the solemn tourists, taking pictures of the plaques thanking the poor soul for answering their prays.

He sees an old lady bringing flowers.

He remembers… a very familiar one.

Violent death.

Everything about it was violent.

Ángel hates it. He hates the thought of a man like that reaching sainthood. Being honoured. Asking his spirit for favours. Most of the time he agrees.

He won’t vandalize it of course. Nina doesn’t deserve more pain in her heart.

But in the darkest nights, in the high hours of the night, when he can’t sleep without seeing the red in the snow. In his clothes. In his hands.

He can’t help but wonder.

Could things have been different?

The man Nina speaks so highly of…

Was he still there?

Is he still there? In the snow?

Did he make the right choice?

The blood won’t leave his hands.

“Excuse me”

Wah! Stranger Danger!

“Could you tell me where the station is?”

Wait! Vivi warned him against this! They distract you with the map to steal your belongings!

Escape!

“I don’t know. I don’t live here.”

He said, then turns around in runs towards the station.

Sorry supposed tourist, but you will never trap him with something like a map! He’s immune to those now!

At least he has learnt to deal with that a bit better.

<-PREV - NEXT ->

[reignpage]

dear reign,

this is my second time trying to write this because the first one got deleted??

but let my start by saying, thank you for making a part two, you didn’t have to after…certain things…but i will take it and savior it regardless. now this will be a long one and you don’t have to respond at all i just want to give you my thoughts on it. also last time you just stabbed me this time you twisted the knife, thank you 🙏🏼

satoru’s didn’t really make me sad but more angry because he’s so unserious about it “oh yikes that’s exactly what your mother says when she’s mad at me” yeah no shit i wonder why and just being nonchalant about the issue, oooh i’d punch him in the face omg.

suguru’s made me both sad and angry, because the reader is absolutely correct. i can kind of relate to “do i have to suffer trauma to deserve some time and attention from you?” in a sense. growing up i would notice my dad favored my brother and sister for certain things so my thoughts were always “would he love me more if i was a boy?” and “would if i did the things he liked to do like play baseball, would he love me then?” so i understand wanting to change something about yourself in order to feel loved. and the “why do i get a consolation prize?” ohh man the why i had to take a moment, because why do they get it all automatically but i have to be compromised with and given something as an afterthought? especially since it seems like it was an inconvenience for him because the compromise only came about after he talked with her mother. it’s like he didn’t care for it at all.

choso pissed me off because he’s not understanding the problem at all and he’s only focusing on one aspect of it. “didn’t you say you wanted to go with me?” yes but i’m not going to beg you for attention. i’m not going to diminish myself like that when you should already be giving it to me. much like reader says “i’d much rather go with someone who wants to be there, with me” good she’s standing up for herself. “but i do want to go with you…. we just have to take your brother.” like omg no no we do not. our mother is perfectly capable of taking care of him for ONE DAY that’s all reader is asking for is one day and choso can’t even give her that and she’s right why does she have to explain it to him? he’s a grown man like come on now. “i just wanted all of us to have fun together.” okay and we can do that some other time, what if i just wanted to have fun with my dad? ever think about that?

toji’s hurt i’m going to be so honest. she literally starts by saying that even if he showed at the last minute she’d be happy with that and i can relate to that. my dad would rarely ever show up to my events but he’d make an effort to go to my brother’s. even just a smidge of attention from him or five minutes of him being at one of my games would suffice for me growing up, i’d always look for him in the crowd and never see him. the only games i remember him going to were my soccer games, when my brother was on the same team. and “i was gonna go…but i fell asleep” honestly at this point just say you don’t love me because that’s how it feels. “i’ll go to the next one for sure.” no you won’t, don’t lie to either of us. i’m glad she’s not inviting him to any thing any more, save herself the disappointment.

i can’t relate to nanami’s or sukuna’s this time around but i do have things to say about them.

nanami pissed me off so bad because it’s clearly late and she’s not home and he starts off with being strict about it rather than concerned. she tells him that he’s nothing to her and his only response is “when i pick you up, we’re going to have a good long talk about your attitude.” like that’s really all you care about? you don’t even care about me just my attitude? okay got it. “just forget i even exist cause that’s my plan” this is so mildly concerning, like is she talking about dying? i don’t want to jump to conclusions but if her plan is to not exist then yeah we can assume what’s implied (i really hope that’s not the case and i’m just being delusional) but it’s concerning and he’s just “i’m finding no humour in this.” that’s because there isn’t any c’mon nanami get it together you’re a smart guy. “i understand you’re upset with me but you should be upset with me within the safe confines of our home” oh so you do care a little aw that’s kind of sweet. “you’re worrying you mother and if you will not come home on your own, i will find you” and we’re back to where we started. i’m worrying mom, okay but what about you? DO YOU CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO ME? “if anything were to happen to my little girl, i’d never forgive myself, so please just come home and we can talk.” why is it that you only start to care and beg after i’ve stopped responding to you? after i’ve made it clear i’m not coming back? why’d it take you so long to get your head out of your ass?

sukuna’s omg her mother is DEAD???? did not pick up that plot line from the first part but it makes so much sense why she’d want to eat with him and spend time with him. she wants to honor her mother and she wants to do it with her dad but he’s picking her brothers over her omg that actually hurt but in the empathetic sense because i can’t actually relate but i could only imagine wanting to be with the only parent you have left and they just push you aside like you mean nothing. that poor girl, i just want to wrap her in a blanket and console her and beat the shit out of sukuna. i’m definitely not winning and if fact getting my ass beat but i’ll try for that sweet girl. AND REIGN DON’T THINK I DIDN’T NOTICE… “but it’s far too late now, my Lord” the implications of this sentence. she’s implying it’s too late to honor her mom the way she wanted AND she’s implying that it’s too late for him to change. she’s not calling him father anymore, she doesn’t see him that way anyway. it’s “my Lord” now because that’s his title, ooohh reign the way your brain works i love it so so much. big smooch for your brain 💋🧠

have the most wonderful spectacular day ever (hope your travels were safe and the train ride treated you good) much love 💜

I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE WHEN PEOPLE GIVE DETAILS ABOUT YHEIR THOIGHTS SHDHSGDHKAHSHD YUMMY

Thank you sooooooo much, you picked up on things I’ve been waiting for someone to pick up on you’re so grrrrrrr lemme eat you nyomnyomnyom delicioso 😚

AND YES ITS FAR TOO LATE NOW MY LORD😩😩😩

[umi-adxhira]

ᝰ.ᐟ SERENITY | 029

MANHWA: TWTPTFLOB

WARNINGS: Mentions of cuts and bruises, mention of familial neglect, being locked up

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I actually like this chapter and the cute little bond reader and Cassis have. Also this is Chapter 7 in the mahwa

TAGLIST: @evaxmisu, @00hellohello00, @welpthisisboring, @hsrvl264, @flyingpansaurus

◄ PREVIOUS CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ►

You step into the dimly lit cell, the air thick with the scent of blood and damp stone. Cassis turns his head at the sound of your entrance, his golden eyes meeting yours with a mixture of caution and exhaustion.

“Excuse me,” he says, his voice rough but still carrying a dignified edge. “I think I need to wash myself.”

Your gaze sweeps over him, taking in his disheveled state. His shirt is missing, revealing bruises and dried blood streaking his pale skin. His silver hair, usually immaculate in the manhwa, is matted and stained with traces of crimson. He looks worse than I imagined.

You glance to the left, pointing towards a small door. “The bathroom is that way, I believe.” This setup is oddly familiar - it reminds me of the cell shown in the manhwa. The space itself isn’t as horrific as you would have thought, more habitable than the dungeons often portrayed in dark fantasy stories. At least, compared to what you imagined from Lante Agriche’s reputation.

Cassis lifts his arms slightly, the heavy chains clanking against each other. “I can’t change my clothes because of these. Can I ask for a collar instead?”

His request surprises you. A collar would grant him more mobility, but it’s also a deeper mark of his captivity. He must realize this too, yet he’s willing to accept it.

“Oh, sure. I can… ask someone who knows how to do that,” you say, shifting awkwardly.

“I won’t try to escape,” he reassures you, his voice softer this time. “I promised you already. Take off my chains, please.”

There’s something almost pleading in his tone, and for a moment, you hesitate. “I don’t have the keys,” you admit, feeling a small pang of guilt. “So I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Cassis shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.” He exhales, as if resigning himself to the situation. “I’ll wash up with the chains on.”

“Thank you for cooperating,” you say. “I’ll find someone to remove them soon.”

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆

With the chains on his neck but his wrists and ankles freed, Cassis now sits on his bed, dressed in fresh clothes. He shifts slightly, adjusting to the fabric, but you can tell it’s not the bed making him uncomfortable. It’s you.

You settle down beside him, keeping a careful distance. Not too close, not too far. Just enough space to breathe. The silence stretches for a moment before Cassis speaks.

“I wanted to apologize for how I brought up Hyoga before.” His voice is quiet, sincere. “I should have gone about it differently.”

���It’s fine,” you assure him. “You didn’t know.”

He nods, considering your words. “Do you… know him well?”

You inhale deeply. Not really, but…

“Yeah,” you say. “I know him. He’s my brother,” Cassis looks taken aback, golden eyes widening slightly. “Does he know I’m here?”

He shakes his head. “He doesn’t know it’s you specifically. Just that someone from his world is here. No one else besides his family and the head knights know about his existence. My father thought it best to keep it that way. If Lante or someone else found out…” He trails off, letting the implications hang in the air.

You rub your neck absently, deep in thought. So Hyoga doesn’t know this world is a manhwa? That’s one less problem to deal with. But he might be trying to find a way back home. Not that I’d help.

“What was your relationship with him like?” Cassis finally asks.

You let out a dry laugh. “We didn’t have one.”

Cassis frowns. “What do you mean?”

You sigh, leaning back against the wall. “Hyoga is a famous actor. He’s been one ever since he was a child. Spent most of his life acting for the entertainment of others, becoming an inspiration to many. But that meant he was never home. He was a hard worker, after all. I only saw pictures of him when he was little. The last time I talked to him was…” You pause, thinking back. “Maybe when I was five.”

Cassis’s jaw tightens. He pities me. He doesn’t say it, but I can see it.

“At least you have your parents,” he offers.

You let out a bitter chuckle. “No. My mother died giving birth to me. My father loved her more than his own children. He left to live halfway across the world, unable to bear looking after us since we had half of her DNA. Especially me since I killed her. My other brother, Harum, is a rising star in the idol industry. Just like Hyoga, he’s famous. Busy. Not present.”

Cassis tilts his head slightly. “Idol industry?”

“It’s part of entertainment,” you explain. “Singing, dancing. They make millions, way more than doctors or lawyers. More than the people who actually save lives. I find both acting and modelling stupid means to earn that much money,”

“But they make people happy,” he points out.

You nod. “Yeah. They do.”

Cassis studies you for a moment. “Except you.”

“Yeah,” you admit. “I took the traditional route. What everyone else is expected and legally required to take. School. And honestly, I thank myself every day for choosing my education rather than cheap money that anyone can make. But don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate my brothers. I don’t even feel anger. But my father…” You pause, “I want to slap the shit out of him.”

Cassis lets out a short laugh, caught off guard. You chuckle too, the tension in the room easing just slightly.

“You know,” you continue, tilting your head toward him. “I grew up as an only child, knowing I had a family out there. It made me sad for a long while, until I eventually accepted it and moved on. But looking after someone else for a change… it feels nice. It’s like you’re my little brother.”

Cassis blinks at you, and for a moment, you think he might pull away. But then, a soft smile tugs at his lips. “Then I guess this older sister and younger brother have to look out for each other, huh?”

You squeeze his hands lightly. “Yeah. We do.”

A comfortable silence settles between you. Then Cassis shifts slightly, as if hesitating. “You really don’t resent them?”

You exhale, thinking. “Not really. I mean… maybe when I was younger, I did. But you can’t miss something you never had, right?”

Cassis’s eyes darken slightly, and you realize he understands more than you expected. “Still,” he murmurs, “you deserved better.”

You scoff lightly. “We all did,”

He chuckles at that, and for the first time, it feels like the weight in the air has lifted just a little. The beginnings of something new - something safe - forming between you both.

You know… maybe I’ll keep him alive. For the plot, obviously.

[silvrash-797]

Febuwhump 2025 - Bunny Heart on the High Seas

Read on ao3

The storm was getting worse.

The storm was getting worse, and Legend was very, very afraid.

Thunder boomed all around as lightning struck the waves less than a mile away. Legend froze, barely breathing, eyes darting everywhere, seeking refuge, but there was none to be had.

Bootsteps plonked across the deck behind him and he tried to settle his breathing, slow his twitching, be the strong, dependable Veteran they all knew him as.

The steps stopped some distance behind, and Legend shuddered at the sensation of eyes on his back. He curled his fingers around the deck railing, willing himself to be still, but it was a futile effort.

The storm still raged, both inside and out.

Plonk, plonk, plonk. Closer they came; Legend gasped a quiet breath, trying to rearrange his features into something more stoic. Please don’t be the Captain, I can’t stand facing him right now.

Sky leaned against the rail next to him, staring in silence across the waves.

Lightning flashed, and they both flinched.

“Can I tell you something, Vet?”

Legend grunted, afraid of the sound he might make if he opened his mouth.

“Lightning scares me. Always has.”

Legend turned slightly, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s true. Until my adventure, storms like this never happened. The only thing that came close was the Thunderhead, and it was off limits.

“When I came to the surface for the first time, I hid right along with the Kikwis during my first storm,” he chuckled. “Fi told me everything was fine, that they were natural occurrences, and that my chances of dying to one were quite low. It didn’t change the fact that they were terrifying.”

He turned to face Legend, expression warm and open. “As time went on, it got easier to endure them, but that initial fear never faded. Then I fought Demise.” He turned his back to the sea, leaning on the rail, and fidgeted with his gloves. “His realm looked a lot like this – lightning included.”

Legend turned fully, grateful for the distraction, but also apprehensive. Sky sounded like he was gearing up for a confession, and he’d likely expect one in return. Could he tell someone, if it came down to it? His fear had been secret for so long…

“I…haven’t trusted anyone else with this,” Sky finally said, wringing his hands and glancing down at Legend through sodden bangs, “not even Sun or Groose. But…when the lightning came…I almost quit. For all my courage, all my trials, all the work and blood and sweat…I almost laid down and let him kill me, if it meant getting away from the lightning that struck everywhere.”

Legend forced his jaw to unlock, forced his lips to form the words. “But you didn’t,” he whispered. It wasn’t a question. Sky had always been brave, and strong, and well-adjusted. He wouldn’t leave a job half-done.

A shadow of a smile crossed Sky’s features. “I didn’t,” he agreed softly, “because I knew there were people who cared for me, who would miss me if I never came back. I faced my fear, and I prevailed.”

Sky wrapped an arm around Legend's shoulders, and despite Legend's prickly façade, he couldn’t help sinking into to the comfort as the skies finally began to clear.

“The important thing to remember,” Sky said gently, “is that I’m still afraid of lightning. It’s okay to be afraid. Yes, we’re heroes, but we’re also people.

“I won’t ask about your fear, and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I just want you to remember that we care for you, and we’ll be here to help however you need. Deal?”

Gratitude rose in Legend's heart, and as the sun burst in brilliant rays through the clouds he smiled up at his brother. “Deal,” he agreed.

[thislovintime]

Remembering Peter; a genuine and remarkable musician and human being, he gave music and joy, entertained and taught… and still does. Infinite gratitude for everything, Peter. Miss and love you, always. Thoughts go out his family and friends.

“You know, I always have this closing message that I like to do. It actually came out of my mouth spontaneously at one of these interviews — ‘Be a hero to yourself.’ And I kind of, part of me was waiting to be asked, and part of me was surprised to hear it come out. And I later on ended up giving a graduation speech on the topic. The point being that everybody yells at you from the time you’re 2 — ‘Share, share, share, what makes you think you’re different from anybody else? How dare you take what isn’t yours.’ And kids who are not psychologically ready for that kind of approach are really befuddled. And they grow up in confusion, not knowing that, in fact, you are different from everybody else, and you are in charge of yourself, and you are responsible for this thing that is called your life. And you have to be a superhero. You have to have a cape and a blazing symbol on your chest and be in charge of the life that is yours, against all comers. There are evil-doers and there are people who are telling lies and mean well and people who are telling the truth and don’t mean well, and you have to sort it all out for yourself. And there will be help — you can’t do without help — this is the other half of the equation: You can’t do this without help. Because that’s part of the nature of being human. But you are still the hero. So that’s my message.” - Peter Tork, LeHigh Valley Live, 2012 “I must say, with all due modesty and gratitude, that I am indeed happy. Usually, very much so. And even when I’m not really, really happy, I’m still aware that I’m a very lucky man and grateful for it. I do believe, tho’, that happiness is not something you look for or try to have, but rather the result of doing your best to live right, which usually means being of service to others, and keeping to a high standard of behavior, to the best of your ability. AND, when you fall off the beam, make it right as best you can and get back on the beam as soon as possible.” - Peter Tork, Peter Sez, March 2014, via Peter’s official Facebook page “For every ounce of energy you think you feel in love towards me, practice generating your own love where it seems not to be wanted, even where you think it won’t be accepted.” - Peter Tork, Fave, April 1968 “Be kind to yourselves and others… peace and love. Peter Tork” - Fabulous 208, 1967 “everyone take care of yourselves and your loved ones, and even the occasional random passer-by, eh? xo, peter” - Facebook, November 10, 2018

[bitchypuppystarlight]

Early on in my career a well-known actor from a show on Nickelodeon cried to me for over an hour because they no longer made enough in active or residual pay to qualify for insurance and they didn’t know what they were going to do.

Fans came up to them everyday asking for autographs and talking about how great it must have been to be famous and the whole time they couldn’t afford their medication.

I’ve never forgotten them and I sincerely hope they’re alright.

[doctorsiren]

I loved your headcannons about inukawa, reigen and reigens sister and I would really like to see what you think would happen if mob and reigens sister met and I was wondering if you could possibly draw them :D

hello yes I accidentally made a comic after seeing this ask yesterday 😁 bro psychoanalyzed her 😨

[hplonesomeart]

Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye

[luinhealthcare]

HANG ON WIND PASSED OUT AFTER WITNESSING HIS FIRST INTUBATION??? HOW DID I MISS THIS???

That’s hilarious ngl my friends are all squeamish and one of them gagged at just me describing what an intubation is 😭

I think I originally wrote in that post 100 years ago that he passed out seeing a trauma surgery, but you know what traumatic intubation can be nasty too.

The person ate before they were intubated. And it wasn’t pretty.

[the-casbah-way]

i found loads of pictures of my uncle i am going 2 cry