#dolores is very into the dark magic bullshit

[a-sunset-outside-my-window]

i don't want them to have sex I want them to break each other on a psychological level

kittywater is bad i think but not even necessarily because of umbridge… some crucially unbalanced humors going on in this dynamic. 1) we have got to stop trying to cast regulus black as even passingly heterosexual. be serious. 2) even if he were interested in women i need a powerpoint presentation just to explain the groundwork of what their sex life would look like on the basic level. you’re telling me you can honestly picture them having sex? romantically? being passionately physically attracted to each other?regulus? regulus black? the turn-of-the-century motherfucker who is reclining on a victorian fainting couch? you think he has the chops to handle a high femme diva like dolores? she is supposed to expect sexual gratification from him? want him? he is going to blow away in the wind like a napkin? regulus?

there is just nothing erotic to a dynamic like this it tastes like styrofoam sorry. once again i have no qualms with dolly & i also want to see her back blown out but regulus black is NOT the man for that job. we should be shipping her with a hunk like antonin dolohov

[theyearoftheking]

Book Eighty: Later

“...but grownups have a tough time believing, and I’ll tell you why. When they find out as kids that Santa Claus is a fake and Goldilocks isn’t a real girl and the Easter Bunny is bullshit- just three examples, I could give more- it makes a complex and they stop believing in anything they can’t see for themselves.” 

Later has been sitting on my desk for several weeks, waiting for me to extol its virtues. Every time I’ve had a few minutes to blog, I’ve come up with a million other things to do. Oh, dishes? Yeah, better get those washed. We’re out of protein balls? Better make another batch. Oof, reallllly gotta get that laundry folded... sorry blog! 

I’m not an idiot: I know I’ve been avoiding this blog because I’m bad at closure, and even worse at goodbyes. Not that this is the end... Steve’s next book is due to be published on August 3rd. And I’m sure there will be more books after that. But this is the semi-colon on what has been a very long and fulfilling project. 

I have read several non-Steve books since finishing Later. I’ve read Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer. I was a huge Twilight (book, not movie) fan, and was really looking forward to coming back to an old, familiar series. But it was painfully long to read, and the world has moved on since Twilight. Since then we’ve had Fifty Shades, and all kinds of other romance tropes spawned by the Twilight franchise, and it’s almost quaint in its innocence. 

I’ve also read The Perfect Marriage by Jeneva Rose. I’ll share my abridged Goodreads review with y’all: “Sometimes a book is so bad, it’s good. That’s exactly what The Perfect Marriage is. I lost count of the number of sharks this book jumped...This book was bananas. Like, super ripe, starting to smell bananas.” 

And finally, I’m halfway through The Witch Elm by Tana French. This book might spoil me for anything else I read this year. Tana French is an absolute queen when it comes to setting, atmosphere and impending dread/doom. And in case you don’t believe she’s a queen, here’s Steve testifying to it. 

So, that’s what I’ve been up to since Later. Oh, you want a review on Later? I suppose I can oblige. This is the third Hard Case Crime novel Steve has written; the first two were The Colorado Kid and Joyland. And I’d plop this one right in the middle of those two: I liked it more than Kid, but less than Joyland. Because... sentimental reasons. 

Jamie Conklin has been able to see dead people since he was a little kid. He has horrible memories of seeing a bike rider that was hit by a car when he was small. And he was able to help his neighbor find his wife’s missing wedding ring, with a little help from her spirit. But his mom wants him to keep his talents a secret; until she needs him to bust out his skills to save her career. But his mom isn’t the only one that takes advantage of him. His mom’s old girlfriend, Liz, a disgraced police officer needs Jamie’s help with a bust that could set her up for life. 

It’s a fast read, with plenty of suspense and enough supernatural elements to remind you this book isn’t all hard-boiled fiction, it’s also a Steve book. But in case you forgot, there was also a Shawshank prison reference. My favorite part of the book was when Jamie cited the Constant Reader mantra, “Books are a uniquely portable form of magic...” I’d recommend this as a beach read for any upcoming vacations you might have. And when you’re done, pass it along to a friend. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 48

Total Dark Tower References: 76

Book Grade: B+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

Doctor Sleep: A+

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

11/22/63: A+

Mr. Mercedes: A+

End of Watch: A+

Under the Dome: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Full Dark, No Stars: A+

The Outsider: A+

The Bazaar of Bad Dreams: A+

If It Bleeds: A+

Just After Sunset: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

Stephen King Goes to the Movies: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Finders Keepers: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Duma Key: A-

Black House: A-

The Institute: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

The Dark Tower: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Blaze: B+

Hard Listening: B+

Revival: B+

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Joyland: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

Wolves of the Calla: B+

��Salem’s Lot: B+

Song of Susannah: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Later: B+

From a Buick 8: B

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

Sleeping Beauties: B-

The Colorado Kid: B-

Storm of the Century: B-

Everything’s Eventual: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

The Wind Through the Keyhole: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Cell: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Faithful: D

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Lisey’s Story: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers D

So, this is it until August. I’ll try to pop in with the occasional book update or movie review. But I fear we’re nearing the tower, dear readers. 

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights,

 Rebecca

[tackletofset]

list of best tom/harry fanfic

Uuummmm…. Okay

*is actually excited*

Tomarry Fic Rec List

Disclaimer: Mind that this is my version of favorite Tomarry fanfics and I might have missed some others doesn’t mean that they’re less phenomenal.Also, the list is by random order.

Click on the titles for links :3

Don’t Fuck With Florists (They’ll Fuck You Up) by MayMarlow

Teen And Up | 13944 words | No Archive Warnings Apply | One-Shot | Completed

Characters: Tom Riddle, Harry Potter, Mr Borgin

Relationships : Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Summary: Unsatisfied with his post-war life, Harry decides to get to the root of all of his problems when that root was still working at Borgin and Burkes shop in the late 40s. He’s the Master of Death, damn it, he can do what he wants for once in his life.Tom Riddle isn’t particularly happy about working at a small, dingy shop for magical artifacts, no matter how interesting those artifacts are. He’s even less happy when an insufferable stranger sets up the most obnoxious flower shop right across the street.What follows would be a romantic comedy, if it weren’t for politics.

My notes: I love this fic because of the political undertone, and not-so-subtle reference for Trump. I love how Harry could sway Tom’s from being a Dark Lord into Minister for Magic. If you like dark humor you’d enjoy this fic ;)

Rumpelstiltskin by Gallons_of_the_Stuff

General | 8884 words | No Archive Warnings Apply | Chapter 2/4 | Ongoing

Characters: Merope Gaunt, Tom Riddle Sr., Tom Riddle, Harry Potter, Fem!Harry Character

Relationships : Merope Gaunt/Tom Riddle Sr., Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Summary: He was all she ever wanted, and she knew exactly how she could have him - even if it would not be real. Then a stranger made her an offer she could not refuse, for a price that seemed like a joke at the time. Was it really just a teasing remark though? Or would her deal cost her more than she ever wanted to give up?

My notes: This is how Merope/Tom Sr relationship goes without a love potion. Merope is aided by Fem!Harry who ‘only’ asks for her firstborn in return.

The Dark Serpent and The Dark Horse by Kaede Ravensdale

Mature | 104187 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Chapter 40/? | Ongoing

Characters: Tom Riddle Sr., Tom Riddle, Harry Potter

Relationships : Tom Riddle Sr. & Tom Riddle Jr, Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Tom Riddle Sr./Severus Snape

Summary: In which Tom Riddle Senior never could fully put Merope’s claims of being pregnant out of his mind and set out to bring his child home, unwittingly changing the fate of both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds and laying waste to the machinations of a certain scheming old man.

My notes: THIS IS LIKE BY FAR, MY MOST FAVORITE TOM RIDDLE FIC EVER!!! LIKE, EVER!!! THIS IS SO PHENOMENAL! I mean Tomarry + TomSr/Jr bonding is perf Spoiler! Tom is related to the Targaryens in this fic.  Baby Tom gets the Father’s love that he deserves. Also openlymanipulative!Dumbledore and Slytherin!Harry. Best ever. I hope the author will update soon before my head starts flooding with imagines of this fic, such as Tom Sr. stands in between the little Tom (and Harry, so he’s protecting them both) and the killing curse (a curse probably by Grindelwald or Dumbledore). Also, now I like to listen to Targaryen theme music while musing about Tom Sr :3 I also imagine him trying to ride a dragon for the first time, awkwardly in muggle clothes while his son watches in awe. Him riding a dragon to a war against Grindelwald, also arriving in Hogsmeade alongside his son bringing dragons :3 ahh the Tomgaryens.

Little Red Riding Hood by BigJellyMonster (orphan_account)

Teen and Up | 1256 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Oneshot | Completed

Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle

Relationships : Harry Potter/Tom Riddle/Voldemort

Summary: Harry has to deliver a basket of treats to his neighbors on the other side of the forest. He was told never to talk to strangers. Too bad he doesn’t listen.

My notes: Very cute Harry. Manipulative Tom. Fluff. Definitely should read.

I Speak Parseltounge by BigJellyMonster (orphan_account)

General | 1602 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Oneshot | Completed

Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle

Relationships : Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Summary: Tom keeps hitting on Harry in parseltounge but he doesn’t know that Harry speaks it too.

My notes: Another light fic. Sneaky Harry. Reccommended!

Pass the salt, Daddy by DarkkBluee

Not Rated | 1569 words | No Archive Warnings Apply | Oneshot | Completed

Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, James Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Tom Riddle Sr., Thomas Riddle, Mary Riddle, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin

Relationship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin

Summary :Tom and Harry have a family dinner.“Daddy, can you pass the salt?”Or not.Seven pairs of eyes swivel in his direction.

My notes: Harry has seven Daddies. Nuff said.

Meeting the Parents by temptresslove

Teen and Up | 4113 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Oneshot | Completed

Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle, Lily Evans Potter, Tom Riddle Sr., James Potter, Narcissa Black Malfoy

Relationship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle/Voldemort, Harry Potter & Tom Riddle, Harry Potter & Tom Riddle | Voldemort

Summary :“It’s nice to finally meet you, Tom,” Lily says with a big smile. “I’ve heard so much about you.”Beside her, Harry noticeably stiffens.“Oh?” Tom asks, one eyebrow raised elegantly, looking at Harry amusedly. “Only good things, I hope.”“Oh yes,” Lily gushes. “Very good things, indeed.”Harry grabs Lily by the arm that almost hurt and smiles at her tightly. “Mom, shouldn’t you be going to Headmaster Dippet’s office by now?” The way his grip threatened Lily made her grin even larger.

My note: Another oneshot I really, really like! This is an omegaverse, fluff, very cute Tomarry interactions. I like how they write the relationships to their parents as well. Love this one.

To Be Set Free by Merrinpippy

Teen and Up | 35831 words | No Archive Warnings Apply | Chapter 14/14 | Completed

Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle, Dudley Dursley, Petunia Evans Dursley, Vernon Dursley, Tom Riddle Sr., Albus Dumbledore, Gellert Grindelwald, Dobby, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Bartemius Crouch Jr., The Brazilian Boa Constrictor (Harry Potter), Lucius Malfoy, Dolores Umbridge

Relationship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle,

Summary : Harry Potter, raised and abused by the Dursleys ever since his parents died, lives in the cupboard under the stairs. He has no friends or family who love him and his life is dull until one day a letter arrives arrives for him, written in green ink, that promises freedom. Sounds familiar, right?King Thomas Riddle’s illness combined with his political paranoia pushes him to arrange three royal balls, after which his son, Prince Tom Riddle, must choose a guest to marry, thereby securing the kingdom’s future and solidifying their strength in the eyes of their allies/enemies. Tom is convinced that he will be able to defy his father and choose no-one, or at least he is until at the first ball he meets an attractive stranger with dark hair and glasses who won’t tell anyone his name…

My notes: A really sweet Cinderella AU! You’d love the chemistry between Tomarry here.

Ice Cream Stalker by Watermelonsmellinfellon

Teen and Up | 750 words | No Archive Warnings Apply | Oneshot | Completed

Characters: Tom Riddle, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger

Relationship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle,

Summary : @vertibirdo on Tumblr Prompted: Yo, would you be up to doing some Tomarry non-magic Modern AU? Something cute?

My notes: A lighthearted, fluff AU. Love it, and how Hermione’s helping Tom to approach Harry.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker by Watermelonsmellinfellon

Teen and Up | 1948 words | No Archive Warnings Apply | Oneshot | Completed

Characters: Tom Riddle, Harry Potter, Nagini

Relationship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle,

Summary : Nagini acts as a messenger for Harry and Tom, carrying insulting messages between the Slytherin dungeon and Gryffindor Tower. Eventually, Nagini gets bored and starts making up stuff, and the messages just become confusing. Nagini becomes a matchmaker. Unwittingly.

My notes: Tomarry shippers are Nagini.

Diablerie by Oceanbreeze7

Teen and Up | 156584 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Chapter: 22/25 | Ongoing

Characters: Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Tom Riddle, Harry Potter, Order of the Phoenix, Hogwarts Students, Hogwarts Staff, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Albus Dumbledore

Relationship: Harry Potter & Tom Riddle,

Summary : Moody reclined in his chair, his prosthetic scratched over the floor. “What year is it, Riddle.”It wasn’t phrased like a question, maybe that was why Tom finally answered.“September.” Tom clipped out coldly. “1942. You know this.”’Harry inhaled so sharply he choked on his spit. He hurriedly turned away, hacking and wheezing as he nearly asphyxiated on his own saliva.“Yeah,” Moody grimaced with a slight disgruntled noise hidden in his tone, “that’s a problem.”

Tom Riddle, 15 years old, in the middle of the London Blitz suddenly finds himself in a future with no allies, resources, information, and everyone he knows treats him with enough restraint to not murder him on the spot. It takes a lot to truly ruin a human being, to rot them so thoroughly even fruit flies avoid the stench. Tom doesn’t want this bullshit, Tom only wants to-‘Please God, let me live.

My notes: I haven’t finished reading this one, but it’s really good. This fic could capture the terrifying essence of devastation of war and death. It contains a graphic and detailed description about Tom trying to survive in the blitz, so it’s not for those who aren’t into those heavy materials.

[tartareus]

Fiona Goode as layers !

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

NAME -   fiona borgia vandenheuvel goode

EYE COLOUR -   vivid hazel although her gaze visibly darkens when she’s angry

HAIR STYLE / COLOUR -   like her father before her fiona has golden blonde hair, a family genetic trait that seemed to almost skip her daughter. fiona personally hates it when her hair is too long and has never had it any longer than at shoulder length. naturally straight with the odd curls at the tips, the supreme likes to keep a classic look that is just hers, with hair cascading down in gentle waves framing her face, but with a modern air to it. eventually, when she begins to lose her hair, fiona takes on wearing wigs ( high quality ones that try to mimic what her hair was like but just won’t curl right ) and headwraps sometimes

HEIGHT -   5ft 8 / 1,73m,  that tall and still refusing to wear heels that are smaller than 5 inch

CLOTHING STYLE -  black, copious amounts of it. it is not just because she is a widow, she has been fond of the colour ever since she was a teen and not only she finds it classy and charming, it also helps that it gives her an even more threatening and severe look. the cut is flattering, hugging her curves pleasantly but not too much as she’d rather take a classy look than a sexy one anytime. in the odd occasion that she wears other colours, she goes straight to red - vivid blood red or the dark crimson piece she loves so much. she's never wearing cheap stuff - hell, even her sleepwear is from chanel - because fiona loves fancy things, always has && will not hesitate to spoil herself buying them. overall she is stylish, even if she hardly ever leaves her comfort zone and drops the classics that are her favourites , like chanel and prada.

BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE -    to me, it’s her jawline (she’s got a jawline for days - beautiful), but if you were to ask her she’d probably say it’s her legs. they are long, smooth and give her a lean look && while she knows there’s nothing particularly special about them fiona has learnt to use her legs in a way that could easily rival marlene dietrich.

LAYER TWO : THE INSIDE

FEARS -   her own death, losing cordelia for good, lack of power, not being loved, being lonely,witch hunters

GUILTY PLEASURE - oh boy, i could say so many things here - sex, alcohol, manipulating people - but let’s be honest she’s not feeling guilty about any of these, they’re just plain pleasures for her. so i’m going with the REAL deal here: crispy spicy fried chicken ! i kid you not ! catch fiona smuggling into the academy some kfc in the middle of the night after she’s done some shit like killing a student or digging up a racist psycho, that is all the comfort food she needs.

BIGGEST PET PEEVE - lack of respect, insubordination and incompetence, seriously...the quickest way to get her to turn your brain into scrambled eggs is by doing any of these. she will not have it.

AMBITIONS FOR THE FUTURE - tbh it really depends on the verse, it used to be becoming the supreme, then it became being powerful. i think, in the way i chose to play her, it’s keep her powers and position as supreme as she becomes immortal ; on a side track, patching up things with her daughter is one of her goals, but it never really makes it to her main ambition.

LAYER THREE : THOUGHTS

FIRST THOUGHTS UPON WAKING UP -   when she’s not waking up with a random joe or jane ( in which she wakes up like “who the hell is that? get out.”) beside her, considering the amount of alcohol she drinks, fiona usually wakes up with a hangover and a thundering headache so it’s something along the lines of “  goddamnit, close the drapes ! where's that  painkiller ?? ”

WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MOST -   “what can i do to get what i want ?” she’s always after ways to get something for herself, manipulate people so they are useful for her

WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE BED -   she takes a stiff drink and wishes there was someone to hold her - wishing that she truly had someone there for her, because at the end of the day, after parties and fancy meetings, that’s exactly what fiona is: alone and lonely.

WHAT YOUR BEST QUALITY IS -   she gets shit done, just goes for it with heart and soul - oh, wait...she doesn’t have one...well, semantics aside, she really applies 100% of herself to whatever she does. that dedication extends to her love life too. she might not be the most romantic person around and will try and manipulate things into her favour but if she really likes you she will do everything in her power to make it clear that you matter and that she cares about you.

LAYER FOUR : WHAT’S BETTER ?

SINGLE OR GROUP DATES - she does well in parties and places full of people, she’s extroverted and can be oh so charming and sweet when she wants to, but she’d prefer single dates if she’s serious - especially in the beginning - as they are more private and intimate. once she feels confident that this relationship might work, she’ll be happy enough to show you off to pretty much everybody she knows ( and take the opportunity to claim you as her own, as a way to mark her territory because she sucks at sharing )

TO BE LOVED OR RESPECTED -   love never got her that far, respect is fickle so it’s neither, she’d rather be feared. the respect would come after this.

BEAUTY OR BRAINS -   brains, always, what’s the point of looking good and being a total idiot ? she values beauty (in herself and in others) but nothing compares to a cunning mind.

DOGS OR CATS - it might come as a surprise, given her own feline nature, but fiona loves dogs and always wanted to have one but...well, she doesn’t want to clean up after them && have all the responsibility that comes with having one so...she’d rather not have them to save herself from the headache.

LAYER FIVE : DO YOU…

LIE -   it might be surprising how much she tells the truth to be honest ? fiona is a truth teller, as crass and mean as that truth might come out, by default except when she lies, a shame is: she has to lie way too often.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF - oh, she’ll make it seem like she’s THE shit, like she knows everything and that YOU need her... but does that meet her own standards ? no. she despises false modesty ( fiona knows she’s smart and powerful, no denying on her vain nature ) but she is, deep down, a little insecure

BELIEVE IN LOVE -   "pft, love is for fools and silly school girls.” yes, of course she does.

WANT SOMEONE - yes.

LAYER SIX : EVER BEEN …

BEEN ON STAGE - in fancy parties when she has to talk about someone and once when she went along with stevie in a tour 

DONE DRUGS – the million dollar question that should be asked here is which drugs fiona hasn’t done yet ?

CHANGED WHO YOU WERE TO FIT IN - no, she’d rather change the people around her than change herself.

LAYER SEVEN : FAVOURITES

FAVOURITE COLOUR -   black and red. she despises pastels because she never looked good on them

FAVOURITE ANIMAL – panthers.

FAVOURITE MOVIE - she'll say she likes some obscure french movie full of philosophy and complex female themes but that’s bullshit. in reality fiona is a slut for old hollywood movies like singing in the rain and to catch a thief, 80’s slashers and, surprise, the odd nancy meyers movie every once in a blue moon

FAVOURITE GAME – scheming, no just kidding…am i? chess is a bore to her, especially because she never really worked the nerve to learn the rules right. she’d take gin rummy and poker anytime ( not that she’s any good at them though )

LAYER EIGHT : AGE

DAY YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY WILL BE -   october 17th,she’s a libra sun, leo rising with a scorpio moon

HOW OLD WILL YOU BE -   if she had lived long enough to actually have another birthday she’d be 63

AGE YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY -  18

DOES AGE MATTER – depends on the situation; by default she finds younger people annoying with all their antics and will not hesitate to tell them so.

LAYER NINE : IN A PERSON

BEST PERSONALITY -   someone who won’t be threatened by her or insecure by her status and actions, she likes confident and capable people, someone who won’t back down and won’t quit at the first issue they run into. someone fierce yet passionate, someone intriguing

BEST EYE COLOUR -   dark brown

BEST HAIR COLOUR – she’s usually attracted to brunettes and raven haired people.

BEST THING TO DO WITH A PARTNER -   sex. kidding, i mean, it really depends on the relationship and the partner ? she’s all for long conversations and dancing by the moonlight but she’s not the type who’ll be making grand love speeches, telling you how infatuated she is with you. Don’t expect any of that. She will however take you to places like paris and Greece, long vacations are a thing that Fiona is very prone to, especially with a partner.

LAYER TEN : FINISH THE SENTENCE

I LOVE -  “ the thrill of the hunt, my dance; I love the delicious high magic and power give me, that no drug could ever imitate.”

I FEEL -   “ like I’m slipping away, fading as the world goes on without me. ”

I HIDE -   “ how much i truly care. ”

I MISS -   “ loving and being loved. ”

I WISH -   “ cordelia would understand that all I��ve done was to make sure she was tough enough to be able to survive this ugly wide wicked world”

tagged by : no one, i just stole it lmao tagging:  @copiesofme​​ (dolores) ;  @bloodykneestm​​ (ransom) ; @rosemalice​​ (avis) ; @gdvas​​ (marie) ; @flyingupward​​ (imogene) ; @hismanners​​ && @fencetm​​ !! + anyone that wants to do this, just say i tagged ya !!

[schrijverr]

Professor Elric?

After The Promised Day Edward is sent on a miliary mission to Hogwarts where he will teach Alchemy to his students. He is told not to interfere with their business, but he has a hard time not getting involved with this weird Voldy prick.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: mentions of canon violence

Chapter 2 out of 10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They were sitting at the Gryffindor table when Hermione nudged Rons shoulder and said: “Who’s the little guy with the blue uniform?”

They strained their neck to see. Right at the edge of the table sat a short man, or boy, he was obviously very young, he has his long blond hair in a ponytail and was wearing, what looked like, a blue army uniform, but it wasn’t form a country they recognized.

Harry said: “Maybe the new defense against the dark arts teacher?”

Hermione frowned and commented: “Could be, but who’s the woman in pink then?”

“We don’t know, Hermione.” Ron sighed, “They will be introduced shortly, don’t worry about it.”

She shot him a look, but didn’t say a thing about it.

They sat through the sorting ceremony and cheered when someone got sorted in Gryffindor. When Dumbledore stood up to give his speech Hermione perked up. He first introduced the lady in pink as Dolores Umbridge, the new DADA teacher and minister. When Harry asked what that meant for them, Hermione answered: “It means the Ministry is interfering at Hogwarts.”

Then she had to go an do that weird speech, leaving everyone a bit out of it. Luckily Dumbledore was quick to recover and went on to introduce the mystery boy in blue. He said: “We also have a new teacher, with a new subject. Alchemy will be taught the year by Colonel Edward Elric, he is from Amestris, so go easy on him with what you consider to be basic knowledge.”

The man stood up, he was indeed quite short, but they could see that he had a lot of muscles when he gave them a short salute. His golden eyes passed over the student body calculating, but he didn’t give a weird speech, so props to him.

Then food arrived and everyone dug in enthusiastically. Everyone except Hermione, she turned to her friends and said: “Has anyone heard of Amestris? And why would someone from the Army come teach here? And a Colonel, that is a high rank. This year is going to be mental. We got O.W.Ls, the Ministry interfering and a foreign army officer in our mids.”

Ron replied, with his mouth full: “Wasn’t Amestris part of the hidden continent? My dad told me about that, said there was a continent in the middle of the ocean, but it got hidden from muggles and it was enchanted, like the tent last year by the cup. Was supposed to be a safe haven for wizards, but now mostly muggles live there, they just don’t know about the other continents much, I think.”

Hermione gave him a surprised look, which made Ron blush and squirm in his seat a bit. He shrugged and said: “My dad is really good at telling stories.”

Harry look between them, unsure what had just happened. He decided not to comment on it and say: “Well, I don’t care much for having to call him Colonel, why can’t he just be Professor? Seems a bit pretentious, don’t you think, especially for someone so young. But I don’t think he’s our biggest worry. If the Ministry is interfering they will try to prevent us from preparing to face Voldemort.”

The three shared worried looks and watched Umbridge movements all throughout dinner.

~

Edward looked over the crowd of youngsters, at seventeen years old he himself was the same age as some of the older students, but he couldn’t see it. He had seen too much to be mentally seventeen, these were kids, he wasn’t he hadn’t been for a long time.

Most of them had given him weird looks when Albus had introduced him as a Colonel, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t used to stares. Besides he could never be as strange as pink toad lady. She had given an entire speech about her and the students being friends or some bullshit like that. Edward could see not a single one of the kids was convinced, far from it actually.

He had also noted that she was from the Ministry, the fact that this was stated extra meant not all the teachers were from the Ministry. He had read in one of the books that the Ministry held little power inside Hogwarts, aside from judging O.W.Ls and N.E.W.Ts. The fact that they were trying to force their way in with a teacher-Minister was a development, though Edward hadn’t decided if it was good or bad.

The rest of the dinner was pretty uneventful, but the food was delicious and it never seemed to run out. Edward smiled to himself as he though that Ling would love this place.

~

Edward was looking over his class. They were his first class of his first day, the fifth years from all the houses. Quite a few had signed up, but Edward was convinced that his classes would be a lot smaller pretty soon, so he had told them to just put them all in one class. He had given military courses on the Academy and that was a much bigger crowd.

He had been silent for almost a minute now and his class was starting to look a bit nervous, good. He began: “Hello class. I am Edward Elric, but you probably knew that already. You can address me as Elric, Mister Elric, Colonel or Colonel Elric, I don’t really care, but not Professor, you got that. You may think Professor is a given title, but it’s not. Where I am from you need to work to earn a title, so I will not tolerate you giving them out so easily in my classroom. Do you understand?”

They all nodded.

“Good.” he saw a blond kid with his hand up and he said, “You, what’s your name and your question?”

“Draco Malfoy.” the boy answered and Edward didn’t like how he skipped the sir there, but he didn’t bother to correct the kid, “And I was wondering how old you are.”

That got the interest of the entire class. Edward rolled his eyes mentally, but he couldn’t blame them. He had seen the other staff and knew he didn’t look like an experienced teacher whatsoever. They had a right to know, so he dutifully answered: “Seventeen, is that a problem.”

That got some gasps and a few murmurs, but he quickly saw that they were looking at that Draco kid. It was obviously someone who talked back to teachers, so the rest would rely on him to ask the offensive or rude questions they were too scared to ask, while they still got their answers. Draco didn’t disappoint: “You should still be receiving your education. Why would they make you a teacher, or a Colonel for that matter.”

And there it was, he should have lied and given them a lower rank or just Mister to work with, but too little too late. He tried to think of Al chiding him to be polite and not smack the kid, he couldn’t help that he was a dumbass. So he answered: “You should research my country before you apply your rules to me. If you don’t think I am fit to teach you, there is the door. This is for everyone. I am not here to convince you of my skill, I am here to teach you. So you can allow me to do that or you can leave.”

He gave everyone a hard look. Most kids avoided his stare or swallowed harshly, none however moved to pack. “Thought so.” Edward commented, “Now, lets get to learning. Alchemy is not magic, nor a miracle. Alchemy is science.”

And with that he had ruined all of these kids life. He saw a few of the mouth the word science at each other with confusion, they had never heard of it. A few others mouthed the word in horror, like they couldn’t believe science would touch them here in this building.

Edward shook his head, how uneducated could these people be. “I know all of you are here to learn magic, but Alchemy isn’t it. It is a handy skill to have and lucky for you your Ministry counts it as magic, so it is still part of you curriculum. I just wouldn’t call Alchemy magic around some people, me being one of them. If you are uncomfortable with that in any way, shape or form, you can now leave.”

One girl did, she stood up and said: “Sorry, sir, I wanted to drop science so bad in middle school and I am finally free. I cannot do that again.”

Then she was gone, Edward appreciated the guts on that girl. He waited again for a moment, but no one else tried to leave, so he went on with his lesson: “Alchemy has first law is basic and all Alchemy follows this rule, so write this down: The first law of Alchemy is that humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. This is what we call equivalent exchange.”

He wrote ‘equivalent exchange’ on the board and underlined it. He looked back at his class and saw fifteen people writing and twenty-three doing nothing, those twenty-three wouldn’t make it to the end of the year.

He turned back to the board and drew a circle. He then said: “Alchemy is also based in circles, we call these transmutation-circles.” he wrote ‘transmutation-circle’ under the circle, “In the circle we draw a code, with that code you write down what you want to turn into something else. You need to be very careful with that code, because one mistake and your circle will backfire.”

A girl with brown bushy hair stuck her hand up, she had been one of the people that were writing he recalled. He said: “What is your question, miss..?”

“Granger, Hermione Granger.” she said, “What does a backfire look like?”

Edward filed through his memories for a good example, he couldn’t really tell them about his little brother being ripped apart or his teacher losing her gut, literally, but his mind gave him the image of Father Cornello. He decided to use an edited version of it: “I knew a man who wasn’t careful. He tried to turn metal into a gun, but he had written the wrong material down, so when he went to transmute the circle backfired. His arm was suddenly encased and replaced by metal with pipes sticking out. He didn’t bleed, but I could see it hurt him.”

A silence had fallen over that classroom, the air had turned serious. He said: “Which we won’t start doing Alchemy until you have trained your body along with your mind. Alchemy isn’t just theory, Alchemy is practice. An Alchemist must be fit in mind and body. Next lesson you will have clothes on or with you in which you can exercise, because we will be sweating.”

Immediately the class was in an uproar. He let them rage for a moment before he bellowed: “SILENCE!” (he had never regretted asking Major Armstrong about the loud voice that the Armstrong family had passed down for generations, because the Armstrongs knew their shit)

They were quiet within the second, once he had asserted that it would stay that way he said: “If you do not agree with my methods you can go, but you won’t learn Alchemy otherwise. There is a reason Alchemist are mostly army men. Besides, you all are lucky with how easy I am going on you. I’m not even half as harsh as my teacher.”

A quiet voice asked: “What did he do then?”

No one, but Edward saw who’d said it, but he decided to not call the boy out. It was too good of a moment to scare them to pass it up, so he said: “When I started learning under her I was ten and my little brother was nine. Before she would teach us we had to survive without Alchemy on Yock Island for a month. That meant no adult, no food, no water, no clean clothes, no bed and no roof and even then she wouldn’t take us unless we answered her riddle correctly.”

“What was the riddle?” that was the Granger girl.

“I will not make a habit of answering questions with me calling on the person who is asking.” He said.

She cast her eyes downwards. Once Edward was sure they all understood he went on: “But since I will be asking you the same, I will answer anyway. “One is All and All is One”, that’s it. If you can’t give me an answer at the end of the month you will not be allowed to follow this class any longer, understand?”

Most nodded, but some were getting ready to protest. Before they could he said: “Before you say a thing about it being unfair, it isn’t. You all have brains, you have resources a ten year old did not, so if you can’t answer you won’t partake in my class. This is the key to understanding Alchemy.”

He looked at them all intently and wished he could be the brash and arrogant fifteen year old again. He had so much hope back then, so much innocence and ignorance. There was no corruption or conspiracy, just a search for an unreachable stone. These kids could never even know, not that he wished that on them, no, no one deserved that. Although he did wish them some wisdom to, because this education system didn’t put emphasis where it should.

Before he could lose himself in though he said: “Dismissed.”

[spaghettiremix-blog]

Another Story Duo in Hogwarts

RFA in Hogwarts could be found here

Note: I won't be doing all of Saeran's alter egos but only the egos we see in his route in Another Story so this may or may not containing spoilers! Constant vigilance, everybody!

anyways enjoy reading, my dudes!

—

V / Jihyun Kim

"A Hufflepuff through and through!"

his wand is 10½ inches long, made of willow and has a unicorn's tail hair for it's core

his Patronus is a Borzoi

his favorite and best subject is Herbology and you can't change my mind

he doesn't find any of Hogwarts' subjects too blandish or boring or insanely mentally scarring so he doesn't really have a subject that he dislikes although, the terms with Dolores Umbridge and Gilderoy Lockhart were rather unpleasant memories

his grades aren't as extraordinary like Jaehee's but his never ending politeness makes up for it

he doesn't know how to play Quidditch because he's like, half-blind so he settles for watching the players playing it instead

but he would make a good Chaser though

but then again, he's terrible with flying the broomstick so;;;

he can understand Parseltongue but only to a certain degree

he has a talent for non-verbal spell casting

potions-making makes him uneasy

heck, potions in general makes him uneasy

he barely leaves the Hufflepuff Common Room, but if he does though, you can usually find him with Jumin (and Elizabeth 3rd) hanging out in the library or in one of the Hogwarts Greenhouses

Apparation is a blessing to him

probably has Metamorphmagi blood in him

this dork loves to collect the magical cards that comes inside the chocolate frogs he has over seven hundred by now and he doesn't plan on giving them away

a Half-Blood but Jumin doesn't even care :)

Ray

"...he is better off in Hufflepuff!"

Hufflepuff's Golden Boy

his wand is 11 inches, made of hornbeam and has a dragon's hearstring as a core

his Patronus is a seal because as though as they may be percieved as adorable and cuddly in actuality, these mostly amphibious animals can be vicious, carnivorous predators

he plays Seeker on the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team

and he shall destroy you

affectionately

his favorite subject is Herbology and he's Professor Sprout's favorite student I'm so sorry Jihyun;;; but Potions comes in second place though

he finds Muggle Studies interesting but he doesn't really act to actually learn it

he somehow manages to sucks at Defense Against the Dark Arts and he hates it

he's actually very skilled in Alchemy so I guess that makes up for it

tries to learn Occlumency and he never bothered to learn it again because it hurts :(

non-verbal spell casting isn't really his thing but he tries

he can't find the heart to eat the chocolate frogs and collect the cards that are hidden inside so he settles for No-Melt Ice Cream instead and it's not really a bad investment

same as his brother, he's a Pureblood but Rika someone managed to thoroughly convince him that he's Muggleborn wizard

Unknown

"Welcome to Slytherin!"

his wand is 14 inches long, made of holly and has a dragon's heartstring as a core

his Patronus resembles a hippogriff, although it's non-corporeal, hinting that his past didn't really have any major positive outcomes that was strong enough to make his Patronus clearly defined

he plays as Beater for the Slytherin Quidditch Team

is it a foul to knock your own teammates with a bludger?

probably endures over 20+ penalties in every game he's in and it drives Snape absolutely insane

note: he still manages to become Captain;;;

although he's too much of a dick to admit that he has a favorite subject, he really likes Transfiguration

maybe it's because that he can just turn you into a teacup in just a just flicker of his wand, just in case you become too "annoyingly pretty stupid" in his eyes—which is a lot (he never actually does it though)

he doesn't bother to attend Defense Against the Dark Arts (nor Divination nor Herbology nor Care of Magical Creatures) since he thinks it's a pretty useless subject

"Why in Merlin's fuck do we need DADA for anyways? We're gonna be hexing, jinxing and cursing our way into battle anyways so might as well skip the bullshit and just learn Dark Arts instead."

he only ever attended DADA during "Mad Eye Moody"'s term with them

again, he's not really good at non-verbal spell casting, neither at Occulumency nor Legilimency but he's good at hexing people

he once tried to hex Saeyoung with a Instant Scalping Hex but it somehow manages to hit Zen instead

many cried that day

he prefers Chocolate Skeletons than Chocolate Frogs ("I'm telling you, my dear toy. The reason why they're so popular is because of these damn wizarding cards.") but he secretly brings back a whole box or two of No-Melt Ice Cream whenever you guys get a trip to Hogsmeade

he's proud of being a Pureblood but he's not proud of his family name nor lineage

he constantly disses on the Ministry of Magic

NE!/GE!Saeran Choi

"He belongs in Gryffindor!"

his wand is 12 inches, made of hawthorn and has a unicorn's tail hair as a core

his Patronus is a falcon — a representation that he was once a troubled soul but decided to cast away his old, evil habits to fly down the hard, right path

unlike Unknown's (and possibly even Ray's), Saeran's Patronus is lucid, well-defined and bright

when you asked him what makes it so bright everytime he conjurs it, he replied "Well, you're bright. So that makes sense if each of my memory of you is bright as well."

⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄o⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

damn boi, when did you get so smooth?

plays as Seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team

Saeyoung's #1 fan and cheerleader

"WoOooO! There goes my brother, the shining, shimmering, lustrous, luminous, ever glimmering—"

"Mr. Choi, please."

"—AND EVER BLOSSOMING SAERAN CHOI! Now, ladies, I see you make a line towards him everyday but let me break it to you in the most subtle way possible—"

"—the poor boy is haplessly in love with MC."

"Saeyoung!"

whenever his brother speaks on the microphone (or just opens his mouth, in general), he gets an incoming migraine that he mentally prepared himself to repress

he loves him to pieces but Merlin's crocs, there are times where he catches himself wishing for his brother to get eaten by Aragog

he really likes Herbology, and tends to pull a Hermione Granger when it comes to this subject

Defense Against the Dark Arts is also his strong suit

although, somewhere in Lockheart's term with them, he tries so hard not to cast a Sardine Hex on him

he might have not have done it but he still holds a grudge

"That narcissistic buffoon unleashed some Tiny Tumbelinas of Terror as a form of lesson, MC. Tina Tumbelinas of Terror."

he just noped out of DADA when it was Umbridge's term

Gryffindor lost a lot of House points that year

he really likes going to Honeydukes and would probably make it his home if it was allowed

Ambrosius Flume and his wife like him very much and vice versa

"Dear, get the papers! We're adopting this boy!"

he brings a lot of sweets back to Hogwarts every weekend

two full sacks

and a lot of letters get sent to him by Ambrosius' wife nagging him to eat more healthily during the weekdays

he's good at non-verbal spellcasting, although it's kinda get hard to get used to

he's good a Legilimency but he doesn't use it very often — he's working on his Occlumency though (because Saeyoung won't leave him alone sometimes)

Apparition and using of Port Keys make him nauseous so he settles on commuting by broom instead

everyone thinks he's a Metamorphmagus because of his powdered hair

again, he's Pureblood but he doesn't really care because he'll love no matter what blood status you have :)

[alternislatronemhq]

hello everyone! here’s a sample application that you can reference if you need any help with your own application. Since apps are OFFICIALLY OPEN, I can’t wait to see what all of you genius, creative beauties come up with!

Congrats, Kate, you have been accepted to AL for the role of Minerva McGonagall (FC: Tea Leoni). We loved your enthusiasm for and portrayal of Minnie McG. Blah blah blah it would be weird to compliment myself some more here ha ha ha. Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist. Welcome home, we’re so excited to have you join the family! 

OOC

name — Kate age — 26 pronouns — she/her timezone — EST activity level — REDACTED.  any questions? — why is McG so cool? 

IC Overview

name — Minerva McGonagall faceclaim — tea leoni, the bae age — 49 gender — cis-female, she/her sexuality — heterosexual patronus — a calico cat; maybe unusual for someone who seems as straightforward as strict Minerva, but there are many more layers to her than her students would ever imagine. the calico cat makes a perfect patronus for her, especially considering her animagus form, and she’s quite fond of it.  boggart — oddly enough, minerva’s boggart is a bible on fire. growing up the daughter of a minister, minerva has a complicated relationship with religion, but the bible on fire represents the loss of her most deeply held convictions, as well as the breaking of her relationship with her beloved father. 

IC In Depth

personality traits — 

+ intelligent — it is minerva’s talent for seeing to the heart of things that makes her such an excellent asset to the Order.  She has the ability to cut through bullshit when she’s dealing with people and is well respected for her academic insights, particularly in transfiguration. this ability to be both academic and interpersonal is an amazing feat.  + moralistic — minerva has deep convictions, and she fights for them. maybe it’s because she was a minister’s daughter, but she has a very black and white way of thinking when it comes to light vs dark, and the strength of her conviction is what makes her such an excellent leader for the auror. - stubborn — minerva can be very pigheaded sometimes. because she’s so intelligent and knows it, she has an impossible time believing that she could be wrong. once she makes up her mind about something, good luck trying to get her to change it, even if changing it is necessary for her to move forward.  - standoffish — minerva has never been the warmest person. she doesn’t have problems being around people, but that doesn’t mean she feels comfortable immediately opening up to them. she keeps many of the people in her life at arms’ length, preferring to hide behind the persona she’s built of strict professor, and this causes her to miss out on some really rich relationships. 

character biography — 

minerva’s six when her mother tells her that the unexplainable things she can do is magic. her mother confessed to her father, afraid that her three children wouldn’t be able to keep this secret, and though it shocks the muggle minister, he moves past it. still, minerva’s mother isobel relies heavily on her to help her hide the accidental magic her brothers can perform, not wanting to overwhelm her father. minerva is a thoughtful and shrewd young girl, and she picks up on the tensions that exist between her parents, despite the fact that they love one another. she vows never to keep the truth of who she is a secret the way her mother did. 

eleven and minerva’s time at hogwarts is a breath of fresh air. away from the mounting tensions at her home, she thrives in gryffindor, making close friends who sustain her. she’s almost sorted into ravenclaw like her mother, but she takes after the rest of her mother’s Ross family in being sorted into gryffindor. she plays for the house team and thrives at her academics, but most especially transfiguration. it’s her friendship with poppy pomfrey and alastor moody that really defines her time at hogwarts, though. they’re the two people she relies on most in this world, despite the fact that poppy’s in a different house and alastor drives her up the wall sometimes.

seventeen and minerva follows her dream of working for the ministry. the summer before she begins, however, she returns home to spend some time with her family, where she falls in love with a local muggle. their summer romance is a whirlwind, and minerva is too besotted to recognize that her relationship with dougal breaks all of those pledges that she made to herself so many years ago. it isn’t until he proposes marriage that minerva realizes how far she’s gone, and after a very frank conversation with her father, minerva breaks it off, not wanting to repeat the mistakes that her mother made. 

minerva throws herself into work with the ministry, but she’s not really happy there. she spends almost all of her time wondering if she made a mistake, if maybe she lost the one real chance at love that she would get in her life. after a couple of years of this, minerva resigns and decides to take dumbledore’s offer to teach at hogwarts. before she begins her first year, she hears on a visit home that dougal has married a local muggle girl. it’s as if a spell that had been cast over minerva is lifted, and suddenly she feels in her heart that she’s free of the pull of her first love. 

minerva’s twenty five and poppy makes an offhand comment about how perfect alastor and minerva would be for each other if they could just stop being so damn stubborn. minerva is embarrassed, blushing and protesting that they could never be more than friends, but a seed is planted, and it doesn’t take long for it to sprout and grow. finally, it comes to be too much for her to handle, and she begins to drop hints to alastor, hints that all seem to go unnoticed. eventually she has to pluck up the courage to be obvious about it, and to her surprise, alastor reciprocates. they settle into life as a married couple and begin a family, but that doesn’t stop either of them from doing what they feel is their duty for their world.

they both fight when dumbledore forms the order of the phoenix, and minerva is happy to be lieutenant to dumbledore here just as she is at hogwarts. the war is a nasty time, one that minerva would gladly forget if she could, but when it’s over and the dust settles, dumbledore comes to her, alastor, and kingsley with the truth. this is only a reprieve, a rest period between two battles, and they must be prepared for voldemort’s inevitable return. dumbledore needs to focus on hunting horcruxes with sirius, so he leaves the three of them in charge of the order, minerva acting as leader. she’s not sure how she feels about such an important role, but minerva mcgonagall has never been one to shirk her duty, so she sets her mind to it and marches forward. 

plot ideas — either for the broader group plot or for your specific character

I’d love to see minerva as a mother. i’ve left some of that purposely vague because of the inclinations/opinions of the moody player, but I think this would be a fascinating dynamic to explore between these two incredible fighters. how do they balance being parents while also being leaders of a revolution? what is it like for them to be parents when for so long they’ve been teachers?

MMM MCMOODY — such an underrated and wonderful ship, and as the mod for this group, I just had to establish it. alastor and minerva are the only two people I see being strong willed enough to complement one another, and I’m beyond excited to see how these two pigheaded stubborn individuals navigate the reality of marriage alongside leading the order.

minerva does not give a DAMN about politics, but I’d be super interested to see a plot that drags her into them somehow. how does she handle dealing with people like dolores umbridge or barty crouch sr? does she agree with alastor’s thoughts on the azkaban dementors issue, or does she have other ideas? does he pull her into writing up a proposed bill because he’s rubbish at that sort of thing? is she offered a seat on the wizengamot and suddenly alongside her teaching duties has to worry about actual lawmaking? so many possibilities.

OH MAN minnie is such a stubborn and narrow minded individual at times. she has a tendency to make snap judgements about people, and it’s hard to get her to change her mind. I’d love to see a dynamic where she makes a rash judgement about a student (likely slytherin) who goes on to be a death eater, and then has to come to terms with the reality that it was her actions that solidified that path -- maybe if she had been a little kinder and not expected this student to go dark they wouldn’t have. 

extra —

headcanons

minerva is the heir to an ancient scottish clan of witches, the ross clan. the ross clan has their own heritage of magic that is passed down through the generations, typically through the women. minerva’s mother turned her back on it when she married robert, but minerva learns about it from her grandmother and continues the lineage. 

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

I like the ol' switcharoo so if we're already going for it:

Ravenclaw!Hermione:

Gets paired up with Cho Chang and Luna Lovegood in the same room

No I don't know if those two were in the same room to begin with and I don't care it's a rewrite I can do what I want

Makes friends with her roommates who call her out on her bullshit behavior instead of making excuses for her and telling her how smart and pretty she is every time she does something mean because she's sad

(Hermione I love you but you were such a bitch sometimes)

Is a regular at Luna's house in summer breaks, gets to experience domestic wizarding culture, really enjoys learning from Luna and Xenophilious

Gets dared by Cho to a broom race, if she wins Cho has to wingman for her and go on a double date with Cedric Diggory and that hufflepuff weasly Hermione and the boy who lived always hang out with.

Hermione has only admitted her crush on Ron to Cho, and Cho in turn admitted her crush on Harry "but it might just be idle worship, after all what girl in school doesn't wanna date the boy who lived?"

But if Hermione loses that race, she had to try out for the ravenclaw quidditch team.

They end up in a tie so they decide to do both

Hermione actually makes it on the team (I forgot what roles there are you can decide what she is on the team whatever floats your boat)

It's a nice experience to be honest, her teammates give her all the confidence she needs to walk up to Ron one day after a good practice and just ask him out

He says yes and never dates Lavender

Huffelpuff!Ron:

Sneaks into the kitchens every night and literally no one criticizes him for it. I think Cedric Diggory was older than the golden trio so unfortunately Ron doesnt room with him

And since no one ever bothered to even mention any other hufflepuffs here have some oc's based on my friends

His roommates are Edward Goldsworth (@din0g1rl ) and Michael Moore (@theghostkingdoom ) ILY two so much

Because he had lots of support from his roommates he tried out for seeker of the huffelpuff team already on the first year, and he got in!

Loves playing against Gryffindor because he and Draco are really bad at finding the snitch but when they do finally see it it's one hell of a race and they always joke about it after the game

They bond over quidditch and Draco becomes sort of an honorary fourth member of the golden trio. They're still the golden trio, but Draco is there more often than not.

And finally, of course-

Slytherin!Harry:

"kid, trust me, you don't need people making you feel even more like a hero, you need to develop your critical thinking and observation skills"

~the sorting hat, right before putting Harry in Slytherin

Harry is not happy about it at first, and you'd think sharing a room with Crabbe and Goyle would only make that worse

Except, it turns out that they're really nice and sweet on their own, just very directionless. OK so they have some terrible prejudice passed down from their death eater parents, but Harry helps them unlearn all of that.

He finds out they don't even feel like they belong in Slytherin, so Harry decides to help them find their ambitions. Something they're passionate about and want to succeed in.

Crabbe wants to do better at school, having been taught mostly dark magic by his parents from a young age. Goyle just wants people to like him.

Literally nobody shits on slytherin anymore because the saviour of the wizarding world is a slytherin

And BOI does Dolores Umbridge have some mixed feelings about that when she shows up!

I've run out of ideas but that's the gist of it

Slytherin Harry is nice and all

But what about an au where the sorting hat decides to be a special kind of asshole and puts Draco in Gryffindor? Idk if this has been done before but It would be literally the best story ever. I have some idea of my own for this au but I wanna see what y'all come up with.

Have fun!

[robotlesbianjavert]

it’s my main dude’s bday snape my buddy my pal i don’t got anything to contribute but hey what about his top seven moments.  what i specifically as an individual consider his top seven moments, while keeping in mind, he has a lot of great moments and it was painful paring it down like this.

it was going to be top five bc i was too lazy for a top ten but couldn’t justify fitting what i wanted into a top five and hey seven is the magic number right

SEVEN

‘It has happened,’ she told the silent staff room. ‘A student has been taken by the monster.  Right into the Chamber itself.’

…Snape gripped the back of a chair very hard and said, ‘How can you be sure?’ 

(Chamber of Secrets, pg 217)

chamber of secrets may have been his smallest role, but i had something cheesy to say then i got embarrassed by just how much i love this tiny easy-to-miss bit.  it just think it’s nice.  

also shout out to all the times he kicked lockhart’s ass.

SIX

Dumbledore opened his eyes.  Snape looked horrified.

‘You have kept him alive so that he can die at the right moment?’

‘Don’t be shocked, Severus.  How many men and women have you watched die?’

‘Lately, only those whom I could not save,’ said Snape. 

(Deathly Hallows, pg 551)

honestly, a crucial moment in understanding how snape’s priorities have broadened since his defection, principally to save lily’s life and then to act in her memory.  but this (whatever dumbledore and snape himself might think about the underlying motives) suggests that even though snape’s never going to be nice, he is capable of caring about the other lives lost in this war.  at the same time, we’re reminded that by virtue of his undercover role, snape’s ability to save and protect other people is highly restricted, now moreso with harry (the central figure in his lily-related incentive) than anyone else. and i just think that’s neat.

also since they’re part of the same sequence, shoutout to “Would you like me to do it now?  Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?” and his attempt to save lupin during the seven potters battle and accidentally cutting off george’s ear that’s hilarious of course that happened.

FIVE

Snape smiled.

‘Before I answer you – oh, yes, Bellatrix, I am going to answer!  You can carry my words back to the others who whisper behind my back, and carry false tales of my treachery to the Dark Lord!  Before I answer you, I say, let me ask a question in turn.  Do you really think that the Dark Lord has not asked me each and every one of those questions?  And do you really think that, had I not been able to give satisfactory answers, I would be sitting here talking to you?’

She hesitated.

‘I know he believes you, but –’

‘You think he is mistaken?  Or that I have somehow hoodwinked him?  Fooled the Dark Lord, the greatest wizard, the most accomplished Legilimens the world has ever seen?’

Bellatrix said nothing, but looked, for the first time, a little discomfited. 

(Half-Blood Prince, pg 31)

actually managing to shame bellatrix for thinking that he could possibly be capable of bamboozling the dark lord like holy shit how does he keep a straight face!!!!!  (the best part is that she doesn’t live to find out she was right this is hilarious and badass)  like bitch!!!!!  bitch!!!!

FOUR

DOLORES UMBRIDGE: If you’re late for class, why are you not heading back to the school?  Why are you heading to the lake?

There’s a moment of pure silence.  And then SNAPE does something hugely unusual – he smiles.

SNAPE: How long have you suspected?

UMBRIDGE rises off the ground.  She opens her arms wide, full of Dark Magic.  She takes out her wand.

DOLORES UMBRIDGE: Years.  And I should have acted upon it far earlier.

SNAPE is faster with his wand.

SNAPE: Depulso!

UMBRIDGE is propelled backwards through the air.

SNAPE: She always was too grand for her own good. There’s no turning back now. 

(Cursed Child, pg 194-195)

not only is this hugely satisfying just in general because, ykno, umbridge – but it’s nice to see one universe where snape is actually able to ditch the undercover bullshit and act openly, even if it’s just for a few moments.  the fact that those moments involve him giving hope to an increasingly despairing and hopeless scorpius is even better.

THREE

Snape strode forwards, past Dumbledore, pulling up the left sleeve of his robes as he went.  He stuck out his forearm, and showed it to Fudge, who recoiled.

‘There,’ said Snape harshly.  ‘There.  The Dark Mark.  It is not as clear as it was, an hour or so ago, when it burnt black, but you can still see it.  Every Death Eater had the sign burnt into him by the Dark Lord.  It was a means of distinguishing each other, and his means of summoning us to him.  When he touched the Mark of any Death Eater, we were to Disapparate, and Apparate, instantly, at his side.  This Mark has been growing clearer all year.  Karkaroff’s, too.  Why do you think Karkaroff fled tonight?  We both felt the Mark burn.  We both knew he had returned.  Karkaroff fears the Dark Lord’s vengeance.  He betrayed too many of his fellow Death Eaters to be sure of a welcome back into the fold.’ 

(Goblet of Fire, pg 616)

gof is the first book i clearly remember reading myself – i knew the plots of ps and cos (either through the movies or my mom), knew there was a werewolf in poa, but it was gof that some visiting family decided to bring me as a present when i was nine.  i remember being fucking furious with snape at several points – especially the teeth incident and when he read those magazine articles out in class.  I sat there going “wow he’s terrible i will never ever like him” and then i got over it in like a chapter or two bc i was nine also i laughed a bit?  in conjunction to my anger.  terrible.

anyways by the time this moment rolled around, i was over that kneejerk anger and fully intrigued by whatever the fuck was up with this weird asshole, unaware that i’d be completely hooked for it’s been over a decade now holy shit??

anyways outside of me being nine, this is a real ballsy moment on snape’s part – a last ditch effort to make harry & dumbledore’s story credible in fudge’s eyes, and a risky thing to do in case fudge decided to react differently.

TWO

And now Snape stood again in the Headmaster’s study as Phineas Nigellus came hurrying into his portrait.

‘Headmaster!  They are camping in the Forest of Dean!  The Mudblood—’

‘Do not use that word!’ 

(Deathly Hallows, 553)

we’re all agreed that snape throwing a slur at his friend, although he was sixteen and being assaulted at the time, is incredibly inexcusable & terrible and lily was super right in cutting off her ties with him at that point.  strangely enough tho, a lot of people want to freezeframe snape’s beliefs and ideology during possibly the most vulnerable & lowest period of his life .  snapping at phineas for calling hermione (a student he does not even like) a “mudblood” suggests that he has dealt with his past anti-muggleborn views, the only character we see doing so in the main series – did draco apologize to hermione for calling her mudblood like a gazillion times in cursed child i can’t remember that’s not important this ain’t about draco.

ONE

…as Snape awarded Hufflepuff another penalty for no reason at all.

(Philosopher’s Stone, pg 163)

classic.