#doing the act 3 justice quest and i am SO

[fairyjiu]

Lights On ✨💫 aka my fave releases of 2024

Featuring, in order of appearance:

Welcome to the show - Day6 // Girls Night - Loossemble // November - Lovelyz // Lights On - Weeekly // Bibora - SF9 // Cosmic - Red Velvet // Shooting Star - Kep1er // Remembrance Candy - Billlie // Give me that - WayV // On My Bike - Purple Kiss // Hmm Bop - Hui // Algorithm - Chungha // Beautiful Maze - Drippin // Lighthouse - Tempest // Poondung - Cignature // In the end we're just - Youha // Bye My Monster - ONF // Without U - Seola // Tang Tang Tang - 90tan // Gold - Itzy // ABDC - Nayeon // Lovers or Enemies - CIX // Good Morning - Yena // Everglow - Kino // Justice - Dreamcatcher // Navy Blue - Wooseok // Sabotage - Kwon Eunbi // Fashion Style - Kino // Punk Hot - 1Chu // Shxt - Ryu Sujeong // Weekend - Drippin // Feeling - Vahn

tagging: @atlantis-area, @briankang, @dreamaze, @hoforwonho, @kimsuyeon, @jinjjayo, @moonsua, @pixypunch, @reveloser, @suhyeos, @sungtaro, @2minsungz

read more? you want to know more? nerd. but yes more you shall know because this was a project for sure. first thing you'll notice is i made only one post instead of my usual two because i did not have it in me to make this twice, it also gives me more options to play with so yay. there is also more than one song per artist and more than 10, we're doing all kinds of wild things this time. i tried to give more importance to songs that ranked higher but also what fitted best with the concept so if you're curious, here's how the songs would place in some sort of vague tiers (no ranking within the tiers):

Song of the year: Lights On by Weeekly Tier 1: ABCD (Nayeon), Good Morning (Yena), Justice (Dreamcatcher), On My Bike (Purple Kiss), Remembrance Candy (Billie), Cosmic (Red Velvet), Hmm Bop (Hui), Navy Blue (Wooseok), Everglow (Kino), Give Me That (WayV), Welcome To The Show (Day6), Lovers or Enemies (CIX) Tier 2: Sabotage (Kwon Eunbi), Gold (Itzy), Algorithm (Chungha), Girl's Night (Loossemble), Poongdung (Cignature), Fashion Style (Kino), Bibora (SF9), Lighthouse (Tempest), Beautiful Maze (Drippin) Tier 3: November (Lovelyz), Punk Hot (1Chu), In The End We're Just (Youha), Shxt (Sujeong), Shooting Star (Kep1er), Without U (Seola), Tang Tang Tang (90tan), Bye My Monster (ONF), Weekend (Drippin), Feeling (Vahn)

so i guess if you really want to know my most faves: lights on and tier 1. as far as the concept goes well...it's a gacha. i am picturing it as an open-world action rpg with an emphasis on storytelling. Yena is acting here as the default mc because she just gets it. you'd have various quests to complete with combat, puzzles and mini-games. the actual gacha part would be outfits and characters (we have to make money somehow sorry), weapons could be switched up as you wish and unlocked through quests.

[andr0leda]

oh son of a

[evelynpr]

Genshin Official Relationships and Status

Something to take note off in character relationships is what their "official and known" relationships are. So, I decided to try to make a chart of one with the playable cast and some extras.

This is a draft though. If you have criticisms and comments, absolutely please do leave them because I don't think my interpretations of these government systems are that accurate.

Anyways, here they are! The higher the placement, the higher the authority. Distance does not apply, and the legend is in each of the pictures.

Mondstadt: That's a lotta knights

They can be split between the Church and Knights, but the Church is still under the Grand Master as far as I know.

Power is surprisingly concentrated to 1/2 individuals only for a nation of freedom...Mond you gotta work on that...

Jean, Diluc, Kaeya, and Lisa are arranged the way they are in reference to the Klee summer event where they passed on who was looking after Mond.

Diluc still retains his high position because he has so many high credentials and connections (The Darknight Hero, Mond's richest man, high status in an intelligence network), despite being the Ex-Cavalry Captain.

Rosaria is an official recognized nun, but her vigilante works are by her own accord, hence the colors.

I am not sure whatsoever where Jean and Barbara's father, the Cardinal, should really be placed, or if he even still holds the position.

Poor Noelle does so much more Mond, but is lowest in status...please just make her a knight already T__T

Liyue: Zhongli and his powerful lesbians

I really am not sure if Ningguang is who Liyue's closest "leader", but that is how I felt during most of Liyues events

I'm assuming that the adepti now have a lesser status in Liyue because of the shift in power to the humans during the archon quest

How high Beidou's status is is, completely informal. She's right beside Ningguang because they do find each other to be equal competitors in their own way.

Those directly connected to Zhongli are those I assumed to have taken direct orders from him, hence why Beidou and Keqing are not included although they do respect him as their archon (Keqing in her own way)

I feel like I'm missing people here, compared to Mond, so uh, help me out here-

Inazuma: They just had a civil war...woops

I am reallyyy unsure how to label Sangonomiya island's status. Are they under the shogun? Are they their own separate territory?

Otherwise, Inazuma is pretty straightforward with its 3 factions and families

Sumeru: The whole government was just overthrown

Are there like, genuinely so sages right now, or replacement Grand Sage??? Nahida you need to do something asap-

Scara doesn't exactly have equal status to Alhaitham as Acting Grand Sage, but I felt it was more important to show that Scara is working directly under Nahida

Speaking of which, the title "shadow" is used because it's the same role that Ei served to Makoto, which I find poetic. If there is an official or better title tho, I'd love to hear it.

Hopefully, as time passes, there will be more representatives from the desert with high status. Poor Candace is carrying the desert's status on her back-

Should I have included the Corps of Thirty even if there are no playable characters...?

Fontaine: Fancy Schmancy Titles

I honestly reallyyyy wished that Neuv and Wrio were on equal standing, but in the eyes of Fontaine, that probably just isn't true.

Even so, absolute do not underestimate how important Wrio's role is in Fontaine's justice system, because without the Fortress functioning as it is, so much of Fontaine's justice would fall apart.

Despite Furina's death penalty and retirement, I still believe she deserves the title of archon with the highest status. No matter what happens, she is still Fontaine's idol and savior. (Besides, if she wanted/needed anything, Neuv would give it to her.)

How high Navia, Clorinde, and Chevy's statuses are in relation to each other in reality is...not explicit?

Really, Clorinde is just another employee under Fontaine's justice system, and isn't a head in anyway, while Chevy and Navia are actual leaders. But, Clorinde is the best Champion Duelist, so does that make them cancel out...?

Anyways that's all from me! It's pretty interesting to me just how much of the cast are part of their respective nation's government, which only makes sense given the kind of ruckus the traveler causes. Have a good day!

[jesncin]

The potential of Ma'alefa'ak; a comics retrospective

Ma'alefa'ak J'onzz, Martian Manhunter's evil twin brother, is considered the most iconic villain of the martian's rogues gallery. Aside from the white martians (which are arguably more often used as Justice League rogues), Ma'alefa'ak is the most frequently revived and adapted rogue to go against J'onn. Readers tend to remember Ma'al as "the Darkseid cultist who genocide-d the entire martian race", and while that's true for his first iteration, I don't believe that's the reason he's persisted as long as he has.

As with much of Martian lore, Ma'al's character and origin has been reinvented many times in both comics and adapted media. I would like to take a retrospective look into how Ma'al has evolved and shifted from his initial origin story, what I find compelling, what works, what doesn't, and where I'd like to see this character moving forward. This post will cover the comics and a separate post will cover his film and tv adaptations.

As we go through these iterations, I want to dig into what the through line of Ma'alefa'ak's character is. What do writers decide to keep and reinvent about him? What makes Ma'al, Ma'al?

disclaimer: Ma'al is frequently coded and sometimes even explicitly written as a disabled martian. While it's not a one-to-one comparable marginalization to any human disability (it's more of a fantasy disability or thematic rather than true representation), I figured it's still important to disclose that I am not a disabled reader. These are observations from an outsider perspective with no personal authority. Additional content warning for discussions of sexual assault (not directly, more like an act likened to rape- with the exception of a brief analysis on Brightest Day), genocide, and ableism.

Let's start with Martian Manhunter's 1998 solo run, issue #0 Pilgrimage. In this storyline, Ma'al is introduced as "the only martian born without telepathy!", and is therefore the only martian immune to fire (famously the weakness to the martian race). He admits to creating the telepathic virus that caused the martians to combust into flames, thereby killing them. Notably Ma'al is described as a "priest / scientist", and he explains that his goal is to wipe out all telepathic martians so that he can no longer be "the freak". The twins fight, presumed they killed one another, and went on their separate paths: J'onn is teleported to Earth, while Ma'al just kind of. Takes the world's longest nap in martian rubble. J'onn takes a pilgrimage to Mars one day, which alerts Ma'al that his quest to eliminate all telepathic martians is not complete.

Ma'al continues to appear as an overarching villain on issues #3-9, infiltrating J'onn's human life as John Jones and eventually impersonating the Martian Manhunter to get the Justice League to turn against his twin. In the process, Ma'al also impersonates several League members, sporting a signature Joker-esque smile to let the reader know it's him. This act of impersonation and trickery becomes a popular staple in future incarnations of Ma'al, as is often the case for shapeshifting villains. Ma'al adopts the "human" name Malefic.

In issue #7 we're given a flashback to a once living Mars, where Ma'al is being tried for the crime of "mind rape". It isn't specified who the victim of his crime is, unlike other iterations would later elaborate on. The reveal here is that Ma'al wasn't born disabled: he was punished to be by the martian council. His memory was wiped to make him believe he was disabled by birth.

[I know I could share other more informative panels of this flashback but I have to share what I consider, as a twin, the funniest panel ever]

In issue #8, it is revealed that while Ma'al's memory was wiped, his hatred was so strong that even though he doesn't remember why he hates he knows that he just does. So he secretly orchestrates the genocide of telepathic martians. J'onn notably defends his brother from the martian council initially, telling them that Ma'al deserves a chance as a new person, only to be proven wrong. By issue #9, the twins have a final battle with each other in the present. J'onn reinstalls Ma'al's telepathic abilities and memories, reactivating Ma'al's weakness to fire and letting him burn in the sun.

And that's Ma'alefa'ak's first debut! A standard trickster evil-twin villain who dies in his very first story. He does show up later in this solo run, but it's with a rebooted origin. So they're kind of like two different Ma'al takes in the same run.

Let's talk about this first version! We're dealing with a very typical evil twin character; he's described as the evil parts of what was supposed to be a whole person, while J'onn is all the good parts. There's a semblance of themes surrounding disability and destined good/evil, but it's only touched upon in this first take. One of the core flaws to Martian Manhunter's longevity as a solo character is his underdeveloped moral code and themes. It's the reason why J'onn doesn't have a stable rogues gallery, because he just kills them. He will SAY he has the basic moral high ground of "killing is bad, life is sacred" but he has no problem tossing his villains into the sun before acting upset about it later. J'onn lets his brother burn, but the narrative feigns him to have concern afterwards over how he couldn't save his poor brother. It's an odd read.

J'onn's "killing is bad" moral code also doesn't bounce off against his evil brother in a meaningful way. Ma'al wants to kill all martians so he won't be the freak martian anymore, but then what? He could go to a planet like Earth with no telepathy where he'd be normal, but instead he just,,, buries himself under some rocks to sleep until he realizes J'onn is still alive- which gives him purpose again. It's funny in a petty way, but meaningless considering he is now 50% of the martian population. While I consider this iteration of Ma'al's motivations to be shallow ("focused hatred" as a core motivation is short lived and unideal for the longevity of a recurring rogue), I do find Ma'al's shenanigans impersonating both J'onn and League members very fun to read.

He's a true equal to J'onn and while his immunity to fire wasn't explored as much as it should have been, it's no wonder this first impression gave Ma'al his iconic status as Martian Manhunter's arch nemesis, there's a personal connection between them as brothers. It's a familial short-hand for a deep relationship between hero and villain, but it's something to work with. Because even after death, Ma'al is still a revisited character.

Honorable mention time! The "DCU Villains Secret Files and Origins" (1999), featured an exclusive short comic on Ma'al's section that foreshadows the shapeshifting shenanigans he's about to pull on the League. His character page describes him as being born without telepathy even though that's proven to be untrue. We'll discuss the ableist narrative of having a disabled martian seeking to destroy all able-bodied martians in detail after looking through more of his backstory. Also, in the Secret Files information, Ma'al's marital status is left ambiguous for some reason. In case any of you were wondering if he was single.

Up next, Ma'alefa'ak returns in the 3-part flashback arc, In My Life (issues #33-35)! This story contains the most extensive characterization of Ma'al in the comics. In this storyline, we get to see J'onn and Ma'al's twinly birth. Sha'sheen and M'yrnn (J'onn and Ma'al's mother and father respectively) give J'onn a blessed name, while Ma'al is given a cursed name that prophesized darkness within him. Great favoritism on the parents, there. As the two grow up, J'onn is treated better than Ma'al-who is ostracized as someone vaguely "difficult". Despite this, J'onn cares about his twin dearly, constantly defending and giving his brother the benefit of the doubt. J'onn confronts his precognitive mother, and asks why she gave his brother a name that alienates him from martian society. Sha'sheen avoids answering directly and instead explains that before J'onn was even born, she had visions of a terrible future where a martian champion who would "embody the very best aspects of our race" will be needed. "Ma'al's name serves as a warning", Sha'sheen says.

J'onn grows up to be a manhunter like his mom, while Ma'al becomes a theologian and quantum physicist. At a big council meeting, Ma'al opens a portal that allows the people of Apokolips to visit Mars. The Apokolips people are friendly at first- asking around for an anti-life equation- but then quickly attack with an army and kidnap a bunch of Martians! They've taken Ma'al and M'yrnn too! J'onn goes on a quest to rescue his friends and family from Apokolips.

In the next issue, J'onn traverses Apokolips to free the kidnapped Martians and meets his love interest: M'yri'ah. He finds a traumatized Ma'al, whose mind has been experimented on by the people of Apokolips. J'onn also finds M'yrnn, who has been so horrifically tampered with to the point he is beyond saving. J'onn manages to save a group of Martians and head back home to Mars.

In the last issue of this arc, it's revealed that Ma'al is feigning being messed up by Apokolips. He's actually working for Darkseid and is snooping around for the anti-life equation! Meanwhile J'onn gets happily married to M'yri'ah, but before they can get-funky-Martian-Style, M'yri'ah feels her mind is being intruded on and is traumatized. An emergency council meeting is called, where we learn several Martians have been telepathically violated. Sha'sheen asserts -because the narrative didn't set up any other suspects- that the perpetrator is Ma'al. J'onn continues to be defensive of his brother and tells his mom they need more evidence before they can accuse him. Meanwhile he orders the manhunters to do a mental patrol while everyone sleeps.

In a sequence that is cosmically funny, J'onn goes to his home where he has it Martian-funky-style with his wife only to hear a cry for help from his mother who turns out to be dead. As a funeral is had in her honor, Sha'sheen's ghost materializes to J'onn. She reveals that she intruded into Ma'al's mind and confirmed her suspicions; Ma'al is Darkseid's servant. Angry, J'onn confronts Ma'al on Venus where the two fight.

J'onn proposes to take some of Ma'al's darkness and offer some of his lightness to heal Ma'al (some sort of Martian fusion I guess?). Ma'al is disgusted at the prospect of being more like J'onn so the two battle it out. I respect an identical twin that wants individuality. Anyway Ma'al loses and is brought back to Mars where his telepathy and memory are wiped away as punishment. J'onn goes home to have it Martian-funky-style with his wife which results in his baby girl K'hym. The ending is very abrupt.

There is a lot to dissect with In My Life. This is personally my favorite Ma'alefa'ak comic because while it's silly, predictable, and really slows down in issue #34 on Apokolips, it has some compelling characterization moments for Ma'al.

"But what am I, dear brother, other than what our mother made me? And what she didn't do to me, Darkseid and Desaad surely did. Am I the villain or the victim in all this?"

Let's discuss! Ma'al is set up to be the dynamic opposite to J'onn. While J'onn is "the best aspects of the Martian race" and is a duty bound to the point he is a law enforcer, Ma'al is an authority-questioning, faith-doubting, anti-establishment, outsider. There's a scene where M'yrnn is teaching young martians the ethics of telepathy: while Martians can read each other's minds, they are still entitled to privacy. To this, Ma'al calls out a double standard: how come manhunters are allowed to break these rules? M'yrnn essentially responds "it's tradition, don't question it." Even J'onn challenged this notion later when the Martian council accuse Ma'al of being the perpetrator of Mind Rape: "in investigating a mind rapist, you propose we rape Ma'alefa'ak's mind as well?". Yet that's exactly what Sha'sheen does to confirm her suspicions. She's allowed to after all, she's a manhunter.

Ma'al's entire reason for opening a portal for people of Apokolips to visit is because he's lost faith in Martian gods- something considered blasphemous by the Martian council. J'onn tries desperately to get Ma'al to assimilate into a society Ma'al doesn't identify with, going out of his way to propose how he could infuse his brother with parts of himself so that Ma'al could be more like him.

"I will not be you! I will not give up who I am! If I am flawed, then I will be flawed! I am Ma'alefa'ak! I will not be you!"

We all yass'd in quick succession. After their fight, J'onn's rebuttal is "You are as you are. Perhaps the only way to change that is to take it all away from you." Absolutely wild that J'onn and the Martian society are the good guys here. There's a story in here about someone who has been Assigned Ostracized At Birth and then dares challenge society's double standards. It's a far from perfect story, Ma'al absolutely victimizes himself as having no agency in following Darkseid's orders- but he came to this point as a result of a society and religion that shunned him. His punishment is to have his rebellious tendencies and memory stripped of him, and in the words of the comic:

"he would be mamed. He would be crippled. He would be given a new identity so that he would become a useful member of our society again. But he would never be fully trusted and he would never know why."

Dystopian!! He's been Martian Unperson-ed like it's 1984 by George Orwell. Of course this doesn't work and continues the cycle of Ma'al feeling shunned by society, this time because he's disabled, causing the destruction of Mars through H'ronmeer's Curse. Maybe Sha'sheen should've just named him something nice.

Immediately I know what the criticism to this is- Ma'al is a Darkseid cultist and telapthic rapist (and eventual perpetrator of genocide), why is it a question whether he is a victim? To this I say, we need to look at the bigger picture: how often are we treated to narratives that frame a rebellious and marginalized character who Has A Point About How Unfair Society Is, but "their methods are just too extreme"? It's the classic MCU villain and respectable-hero dynamic. Villain challenges the status quo, Hero upholds it.

Within the context of In My Life and Ma'al's lore, none of Ma'al's worst actions make any sense. In his first appearance, Ma'al is tried for the crime of "mind rape". However we, as the reader, are not privy to why he did these things. M'yria'h wasn't even written as his victim yet at this point. As she's consoling J'onn over Ma'al's trial, she says "I know how hard this was for you" "he cannot hurt others again". In My Life is meant to show us why Ma'al did those crimes. Ma'al was looking for the anti-life equation for Darksied, which My'rnn explains earlier to the Apokolips guests that "neither me nor my people have any desire for them {the anti-life equation}". Yet Ma'al violates M'yri'ah's and several martians' minds to fruitlessly find the anti-life equation when Ma'al should know that no one on Mars is interested in it. M'yri'ah is re-written to be his victim in this story, because it sure would be messed up for Ma'al to hurt his own twin's wife! Ma'al is oddly unmotivated in his origin stories, was he collaborating with Darkseid all along before opening the portal? Or was he indoctrinated by Darkseid after he was on Apokolips? What about Darkseid's ideas does he find appealing as an outsider?

Then there's Ma'al creating H'ronmeer's curse to wipe out the Martian race so he wouldn't be a "freak" anymore. This is also unmotivated. He had his memory erased, and all that remained was that he may not know why he hates Martians, he just does. So the next logical step was genocide? His motivation is watered down to "vague hatred".

Let's look at the optics of a story about a disabled character seeking to destroy the able-bodied population. Although I don't think Ma'alefa'ak's origin story is as intentional in its implication as some MCU propaganda perpetuates in its "respectable hero" narratives, the story of Ma'al is still the result of something so ingrained and unquestioned. It's reflective of the privileged fear that fights for equality will only result in the oppressed group oppressing the privileged-by doing unto them the same kind of oppression the privileged are used to doing to the oppressed. The privileged cannot comprehend what making space for others looks like, all they know is what it looks like to have that taken away.

No disabled person would go to the lengths a fictional Martian does in their frustration against an ableist society. Historically, it is able-bodied people and ableist society that's sought to wipe out disabled people and their culture. Everything from enforcing laws that ban the use of sign language in schools, discouraging disabled people from marrying each other, and the forced sterilization of marginalized people among many things, all exist with the goal of erasing disabled people. You've heard of fantasy reverse-racism, now get ready for fantasy reverse-ableism.

So why did the writer choose to make Ma'al do these nonsensical things? It's simple; J'onn is the best parts of the Martian race, and Ma'al is the worst parts. In a blogpost, Martian Manhunter writer John Ostrander discuses what went into Martian worldbuilding:

"Tom and I decided we would investigate and explore Martian culture in our version. He [J'onn] was telepathic; his race was telepathic. What did that mean? What were the societal rules? Rape, for example, would not only be physical; it could be emotional and mental. On the flip side of the coin, sex would involve a melding of minds as well as a melding of bodies. With his race dead, J’onn would be forever denied that. He could never again experience physical love on so deep a level."

Yeah their first thought about Martian worldbuilding really was "dang what's sex like for Martians, I guess it's super personal for them". Ma'al telepathic violation of M'yri'ah is not meant to be a deep look at rape culture or how something so vile can happen, it's just a demonstration of what the worst thing someone in a telepathic society could do. It's not even a sexual violation, Ma'al did the equivalent of looking for a secret pie recipe in someone's head, but it's framed as sexual assault by the narrative. That's why it's so unmotivated. Genocide is the next worst thing a person can do, and so that's all Ma'al is known for to most people. These narratively unmotivated actions, detached from a story about marginalization and challenging an unfair society.

And despite all that, telepathic violation and genocide are not what end up being the things future writers keep about his character. So let's continue.

Honorable mention time! In the 2006 comic run: Martian Manhunter The Others Among Us, it is revealed that the Cay'an (a surviving green martian and villain of the story) hates J'onn for letting his brother live! She wishes he was harder on Ma'al so that Ma'al wouldn't have destroyed their home. Ma'al doesn't appear in this story at all, but his influence on Martian Manhunter lore is so strong he still gets a mention and inadvertently spawns another rogue for J'onn.

It sure is weird how the narrative keeps punishing J'onn for caring about his brother. I would understand if In My Life was a story about giving an abusive family member too many chances or how some people are a lost cause, but that doesn't work when Ma'al is marked as an alienated outcast since birth. J'onn caring about Ma'al isn't a flaw to me, it's the one thing no one else in Martian society would do for Ma'al.

Moving along we have 2007's JLA: Classified: The Ghosts of Mars (issues #42-46). So if Ma'al's debut story was about impersonating J'onn and Justice League members to get everyone to mistrust and eventually kill the Martian Manhunter, The Ghosts of Mars is about Ma'al doing all that again but this time he's a dream ghost. Ma'al just possesses J'onn now. The writer, Justin Gray, really did his homework on both Martian lore and Ma'alefa'ak's origin story as there are some very specific callbacks that I enjoyed reading in this run. Rick Leonardi and Sean Philips's art is so appealing too! I love that they committed to Ma'al's edgy design.

So the reason J'onn is seeing Ma'al's Force Ghost (essentially) is that back when J'onn and Ma'al were kids, they partook in the G'amal'Khul ritual- which bonded a portion of each other's souls within themselves. Ma'al has a bit of J'onn's soul within him, and vice versa. What's notable about this incarnation of Ma'al is that despite the fact it heavily calls back to Ma'al's history in the In My Life storyline, it makes one key difference: Ma'al is explicitly labeled as disabled.

Textually it's more like a late-bloomer situation, where Ma'al can't hear The Great Voice in the way J'onn naturally could, but I think it's telling that the writers were willing to label that as a disability. Whereas In My Life and Pilgrimage never even used the word "disability"- Ma'al was only coded that way. You'll notice a still continuing theme of Ma'al needing to "overcome" his "flaws" in order to become a "useful member of society" or "a complete family". This ableist mindset and language is never called out or explored as something flawed in Martian society. It's just a given, acceptable thing.

Ma'al does eventually develop Martian Telepathy enough to hear The Great Voice, and then In My Life events remain the same in their briefly summarized retelling. Except!! For when J'onn is having a ghost-argument with his brother and calls out Ma'al by listing his crimes, J'onn does not mention Ma'al's violation of M'yri'ah or any other Martians. Later on, the ghosts of K'hym and M'yri'ah don't bring it up either. Possibly implying a small but noticeable retcon. Contrast this with his original incarnation, where that was Ma'al's defining crime that led to him being mind-wiped.

[these are from 2 separate pages that I fused together to save up space but please appreciate Ma'al peeping over J'onn's shoulders twice]

However there are some choices in characterization for Ma'al in this arc that are at odds with Ma'al's core themes and origin as a marginalized martian. His goal in this mental-ghost-argument with J'onn is to convince his brother that the Justice League will never accept J'onn as one of them because of anti-alien xenophobia. And in doing so, Ma'al weirdly props up Martian Superiority talking points.

Ma'al talks about how humans can never be faithful to their partners because humans can't shapeshift to keep the relationship spicy and interesting (I'm not joking). Unlike Martians who can change it up every now and then. Ma'al even says that because they're not telepathically open to each other like in Martian cultures, their sense of family "pales in comparison to Martian sensibilities". Having Ma'al flex abilities Martians can do as superior because humans don't have those abilities, in the same arc that explicitly labels Ma'al as disabled, is a bizarre characterization choice. While this version of Ma'al appears to have kinder parents raising him, the larger story beats of In My Life play out just the same. And those story beats rely on Ma'al being ostracized from his family since birth. The entire premise in this arc is J'onn being ostracized from human beings, who judge his more alien-appearance compared to Superman. J'onn even calls this out as racism. Yet no introspection is given over how Martian society oppressed Ma'al as a disabled Martian. So there's a bit of a dissonance in themes here.

Overall while I did enjoy this iteration of Ma'al (his ghost-aura pettiness continues to amuse me), I felt that a better version of this story was told through Martian Manhunter's Brightest Day arc. J'onn is tricked into trapping himself in his mind where he fantasizes about the Justice League sequentially dying off and is given cryptic clues in order to wake himself up. This arc deserves a shoutout because it also continues this Martian ableism tradition, but it's vilified this time!

The villain of this storyline is D'kay D'razz, and she's some kind of Martian scientist who seeks to cure Martians whose minds can't be read but are able to still telepathically read the minds of others, or "cerebrally isolated Martians" as D'kay puts it. She even proposed purging disabled Martians, which the Manhunters didn't like so they imprisoned her for hundreds of years in isolation. We don't get any named disabled Martians, they're mostly props to D'kay's belief and desire to breed the perfect Martian race with J'onn. It's odd that this time ableism is something Martian society and the manhunters disapprove of, since it was something they enforced in Ma'al's origin.

The Brightest Day Martian Manhunter storyline is also another prominent recurrence of Martian telepathic assault. Only for D'kay, unlike Ma'al's telepathic violation that was framed as rape, her goal with J'onn is explicitly sexual. "Rape" by term isn't mentioned at all in D'kay's plot, yet it's absolutely what she did to J'onn: deviously tricking him into hopefully giving her a Martian child. Yet J'onn as a victim isn't something fully recognized by the narrative to the extent that M'yri'ah was for In My Life. There's a larger conversation over the treatment of male victims in DC (and mainstream at large), but I think it's particularly clear in the case of J'onn versus M'yri'ah's treatment.

So our next two versions of Ma'al are more Elseworld takes on his character and they're much shorter to dissect. While I believe Ma'al is at his thematically strongest in these previous comics, I think these are still worth looking into because they continue some interesting staples to his character that we'll see in future adaptations of him. Also this is a Ma'alefa'ak retrospective, we're being thorough.

Get a load of this guy! Ma'alefa'ak appears in 2010's Batman The Brave and the Bold: Invasion from Mars! (issue #18) In this story, Ma'al is reimagined as a white martian. That's right, contrary to popular belief, Young Justice was not the first to make Ma'al unrelated to J'onn and turn him into a White Martian. Oh no, no no. Batman Brave and the Bold paved the way, my friend.

In this version, General Ma'al is trying to bring Martians back by destroying humans on Earth. Even though it can be argued this character only shares a name with Ma'al and little much else, there's some semblance to his character here. Ma'al possesses Batman in the later half of the story, even sporting his Joker-esque smile as he tries to take over Batman's mind. That's just about it, though!

Ma'al being reimagined as an Alien Invader seeking to wipe out humans and replace them with an alien race is a really generic villain motivation (for Kryptonians but especially Martians) so it doesn't stick. This does already show writers trying to freshen up Ma'al as a rogue by changing his Martian race. This Ma'al is the cutest design in the world.

Our last prominent Ma'alefa'ak comic appearance takes us to the infamous New 52, which features a red Martian variant of Ma'al who is once again, not J'onn's twin brother. The New 52 is a reboot where the DC universe gets an overall edgy makeover. For Martian Manhunter, this meant the 12-issue solo Epiphany. While it's easy to write this take off as a dark Elseworld interpretation with no connection to the characters' history, the Epiphany run actually has a ton of call backs to Martian Manhunter history. I like to describe this series as taking all those references and throwing them in an evil, twisted blender. So let's discuss. Since this series relies on a lot of time skips and twists, I'll be describing the relevant plot points as they happen chronologically in the universe.

Long ago, Krypton-uh I mean-Mars, was a technologically advanced society whose people became so arrogant of their progress that they didn't realize their planet was hurting. So the cosmic Spirit of Mars itself decided to psychically send the Martians a vision; a cry for help. Instead, most Martians interpreted this vision as a threat. Many just saw the vision of a large cosmic monster coming for them. Martians like Ma'alefa'ak, weaponized the growing fear and paranoia for his own gain. He convinces the Martian council that they should make a Martian Manhunter; a fusion of all the best Martians to be their weaponized champion against the coming threat. J'onn volunteers to be the soul vessel of the weapon. At the last minute, Ma'al betrays the Martians by slaughtering some of them to perform "Ancient Long-Banned Black Martian Blood Magic" to turn J'onn into a monstrous hybrid.

J'onn is betrayed, but decides to make the most of it by challenging the cosmic monster to a fight. The Spirit of Mars takes the form of J'onn's son and shames Martiankind for responding to its cry for help with violence. It punishes Mars by sucking the planet dry and spitting J'onn off-planet. Ma'alefa'ak seemingly escapes with his troops.

As millions of years pass by, J'onn goes insane and out of loneliness, splits himself up into a bunch of Martians with consciousness of their own and spread them throughout the planet (and the universe I guess). Out of shame, J'onn hides from his past and convinces himself he's a hero with false memories. Eventually in the present day, all of the split parts of J'onn decide they want to return to him as "our god", and they do that through...a fake alien invasion.

The invasion consists of a fake Ma'alefa'ak (constructed by J'onn) and his team of fake White Martians (also constructed by J'onn) who seek to put J'onn into a giant magical beam that would supposedly bring Mars back. J'onn splits himself into 4 new identities to make himself harder to find, but he's found and brought to the beam regardless.

The magic spell goes wrong and instead sends him to a universe where Earth and a resurrected Mars are about to collide into each other. J'onn tries to save both the resurrected Martians and the people of Earth by taking the Martians through a portal back to before the spell happened. Which he does. But as he makes it back to normal Earth, he is treated to the plot twist that none of the Martians (neither the ones that attacked him nor the ones he was saving) were real. J'onn realized he orchestrated the whole thing. And before the reader can think too hard about all the innocent people J'onn killed in his weird roleplay game, the comic ends with a little girl basically telling him "well, at least you tried to do good." J'onn quickly flies away because- yeah I don't think he was convinced by what she said either.

And that's a very brief summary of the New 52 Martian Manhunter arc. I'll go into more detail in the analysis since the story is so overloaded and convoluted that it would take forever to explain every plot point as its presented to us in the comic. So let's talk about themes and how Ma'alefa'ak fits into this story.

One of the other foundational flaws of Martian Manhunter as a superhero character is that he is in many ways, a creatively redundant variation of Superman. Whenever writers try to flesh out the world of Mars, they often end up accidentally re-creating Krypton. In J'onn's limited Rebirth solo run Identity, he's basically a more corrupt Jor-El figure. When both Superman and Martian Manhunter are the last of their kind and powerful, an exciting villain means bringing out another Martian or Kryptonian that seeks to take over Earth to bring their lost planet back. What Epiphany tries to do to differentiate J'onn from Superman is to dip into the cosmic horror idea that J'onn is not who he always thought he was. He's not a hero, he's a weapon designed to attack the Spirit of Mars. The new identities J'onn split himself into are convinced they have fully lived lives and are horrified to learn they're a part of something else. The full horror comes around when J'onn realizes he's constructed all this alien-invasion destruction himself. It's a very unnecessarily edgy end to a story with potential. But how does Ma'alefa'ak fit into it?

Outside of the origin story, the Ma'al we see in this arc is mostly a fabrication of J'onn's mind. Sure he has his own consciousness and we can only assume he's an accurate re-enactment of what the real (probably dead) Ma'al was like, but he's still an extension of J'onn at the end. Ma'al is characterized as a paranoid, violent egomaniac. He casually uses forbidden Martian magic to fuse Martians against their will, and his ultimate goal is to recreate Mars in his image. I highly doubt the writer of this run was referencing Ma'al's more generic re-imagined motivations from the Batman Brave and the Bold comic, but it's interesting that making Ma'al into discount General Zod is a thing that happened twice. So how does this fit into older takes on Ma'al outside of being overly edgy? It's all in the details.

The first time J'onn (as one of his new human identities) meets Ma'alefa'ak in the story, Ma'al and the many White Martians have disguised themselves as humans on Earth. Ma'al takes the form of Leo Chandler, a disabled, wheelchair-using boy paralyzed through motor neuron disease. Out of all the throwbacks to Ma'alefa'ak's disability, this one is the wildest. Leo is introduced as having been kidnapped by his own mother before murdering her himself.

But eventually J'onn learns that Leo is not who he seems. He is Ma'alefa'ak in disguise, and Leo's human "mother" was another Martian in disguise. Ma'alefa'ak's "mother" grew to like humans and decided she didn't want to go through with the invasion. She paralyzed Ma'alefa'ak with her powerful telekinesis into a form he finds disgusting and inferior. Once J'onn's many identities get close to the magic beam, Ma'alefa'ak regains his true form again. This is a surprising mix of many things from Martian Manhunter lore. Ma'alefa'ak being disabled by another Martian, finding humans inferior to Martians, even the part where he kills his own mother, are all callbacks to his original iterations. The missing thematic piece is that Ma'al is not marginalized by the Martians or humans in any way, so we're left with only the cartoonishly evil and generic "bring Mars back in my image" through genocide ritual sacrifice.

This is further contrasted against how J'onn is reimagined in this run. Remember how when J'onn's mother tells him she foresaw how he would become a martian champion who would "embody the very best aspects of our race" way back in In My Life? Well in Epiphany, J'onn is now the ultimate able-bodied best Martian. He is a magic-made mix of the greatest warriors and intellects Mars has to offer. Part of the themes of this run is the way J'onn's unique existence dehumanizes him. After witnessing Ma'alefa'ak slaughter Martians with forbidden magic to complete J'onn's transformation, J'onn tells Ma'alefa'ak "You murdered me!". His new identities have personal crises upon finding out their lives are fabricated. So even though J'onn is Mars' ideal champion, the transformation is a burden on him.

In terms of J'onn and Ma'al's dynamic, we're not given a lot to work with. They're basically council associates until J'onn is betrayed by Ma'al turning him into a hybrid fusion monster. The fabricated-by-J'onn's-mind-version of Ma'al hates J'onn for resisting his destiny as a weapon to bring Mars back. There's something about how Ma'al's hatred of J'onn is characterized in this series that feels strangely familiar. Sure, Ma'al is defined by paranoia and ego, but the hatred almost feels like classic Ma'al's vague and petty hatred. It leads to amazing instances of dialogue like "COME DOWN, MANHUNTER! AND MA'ALEFA'AK WILL RIP OUT YOUR TRAITOR'S HEART AND EAT IT AS HATE FUEL FOR BLACK BLOOD MAGIC!" along with the classic "I HAVE HATED YOU SO MUCH I THINK I LOVE YOU, J'ONN." A real tsundere moment for Ma'al.

There's many other nods to Martian Manhunter lore- but to keep it Ma'alefa'ak centric, I have to point out that the series does end with J'onn talking to Ma'alefa'ak's force ghost. And I find that so amusing as an arguably intentional reference to their JLA: Classified, the Ghosts of Mars arc.

So that's New 52 Ma'alefa'ak. My main criticism for Epiphany as a Martian Manhunter take is that it feels less like a story with a unique voice and more like an amalgamation of annotations, references and citations to other Martian Manhunter stories. There's a great premise at the center of Epiphany; the cosmic horror of realizing you're not who you thought you were, that your existence is fabricated and fake, but it's bogged down with an edgy convoluted story that loses what it wants to say. This is reflected in their take of Ma'al. If you remove all the strange quirky references, he's just discount general Zod of Krypton.

Epiphany is a symptom to a larger core flaw to Martian Manhunter's as a superhero character. If Superman is an allegorical immigrant that symbolizes hope and Batman is vengeance initially motivated by grief that eventually evolves into hope, then what grounds J'onn J'onzz as a character? He may be an alien, but stories exist to describe human experiences. DC recognizes J'onn is a survivor from planet-wide destruction, but its writers don't know what to do with him after the fact. What is heroism motivated by? Why does he choose to protect his new home?

Because they're unable to answer this, we get story after story of J'onn grieving Mars like he's your best friend who can't get over their ex. It's why they constantly revisit his origin story, because they don't have anything else to say about J'onn outside of his grief. This affects his villains too, most of them reverting to just tempting him to bring back Mars. Testing nothing else about his character. This isn't a bad plot to have, but it's J'onn's ONLY plot most of the time. So unless Martian Manhunter gets a major revitalization of his entire character, he can't grow into a self sustaining property. Speaking of revisiting his origin-

It's time for our last honorable mention! With the Rebirth reboot across the DC Universe, we get yet another Martian Manhunter origin retelling. This time, in the form of a limited 12 issue solo series Martian Manhunter; Identity (2019) written by Steve Orlando with art by Riley Rossmo.

Ma'al gets but a single mention in this series, but it's crucial to point out for many reasons. For one, Ma'al is revealed to be a slut. And while I'd love to stick to that one point alone, it's the broader implications of this reimagining that are important to consider in terms of how Ma'alefa'ak has evolved as a character. As of writing, Identity is the most thorough characterization of J'onn's wife and daughter in all of comics canon. It is the first time M'yri'ah and K'hym are fleshed out to have personalities, motivations, occupations and lives. Before this, they were props for J'onn to love and feel sad about. Yes, these two are what Jor El and Lara are to Superman and what Thomas and Martha Wayne are to Batman, but they only got fleshed out all the way in 2019.

In Identity, M'yri'ah works as a nurse who has suspicions about the growing fire virus infecting Martians. After learning J'onn is a corrupt cop who tried to sneak her and their daughter K'hym off-planet before the fire consumed them all, she dies by opening her mind to K'hym's and getting infected. So how does this come back to Ma'alefa'ak? The true origins of the fire virus remain a mystery in this interpretation, so we don't know if Ma'al is still responsible for burning all the Martians through Hr'onmeer's curse. But what we do know is that he's no longer involved with M'yri'ah in any way. Sure she knows who he is, but there's certainly no hint of a violation that occurred between the two. Much like with the JLA Classified: Ghosts of Mars comic, we're seeing the more controversial parts of Ma'al be removed in newer iterations of the character. Because it was never integral to either his character or J'onn's origin story.

I'd love to do a thorough analysis of Identity, since it is both an earnest attempt at revitalizing Martian Manhunter into a solo character while also being a showcase of common pitfalls writers run into when developing his character and world. BUT since this is a Ma'alefa'ak essay, that would be a huge tangent. So that concludes all of Ma'al's current comic appearances, time of writing. Just know that all the stuff we mentioned before about J'onn's lore accidentally recreating Krypton, Superman and Jor El are in this limited run as well.

Earlier in this essay I posed a question about Ma'al as a character; "what is the through-line of Ma'alefa'ak? What do writers decide to keep and re-invent about him? What makes Ma'al, Ma'al?" With the way Martian Manhunter struggles to get a footing in DC comics, it may look like we have an unsatisfying or incomplete answer to that question. When you look at the timeline of Ma'al's comic appearances, it's basically his initial origins, one revisit in a JLA comic, some mentions in other comics, and 2 Elseworld takes. That's not a lot of substantial iterations to see the character properly evolve past a reference. So what now?

This is where we must head into adapted media, because Ma'alefa'ak's story doesn't end with the comics. I think it's crucial to examine the way Ma'al has been adapted because we get to see writers look at the source material and decide which parts of him resonate with the stories they want to tell. It's where we can truly see what aspects of Ma'al endure with time. So join me as we look into the 3 cross-media adaptations of Ma'alefa'ak to finally figure out what is it about J'onn J'onzz's evil twin character that keeps him coming back. In another post!

[etherfabric]

What benefit is hidden in your aura? + Affirmations

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

Justice, Knight of Pentacles rx

Your aura reflects your miniscule attunement to injustices. People in your vicinity are taking their sweet time to hold up their end of a bargain they had no problem agreeing to as along as it was your turn to show up. But now that the foundations are being shaken up by influences outside of your control, suddenly it's everyone for themselves. Let your frustration and impatience truthfully shine through. There is no shame in knowing what you deserve, and reacting accordingly when being left in the rain. Those who truly care will feel the discomfort in just the right places to motivate them to be better. And those who shame you for standing up for yourself are just as pathetic as it feels when they do it. You can't save everyone, especially not while being bled dry.

Spend your time waiting for them to process all this on things that bring you joy and nourishment. Joy is easy, joy is pulling you towards things you could do for hours, that make you forget to eat, sleep, drink (but please do eat, sleep, drink). If your mood is too dark to access joy, aim for comfort and relief. If there is anger taking up space, seek catharsis by writing insults in your journal, or throwing hands with your mattress. If you need a good cry, watch that movie you know will break you. Trust your inner compass to guide you to where your next quest is hidden.

Your affirmation is:

I slow down and listen to the guidance that's available to me.

Pile 2

2 of Cups rx, 7 of Wands

Your aura is dulled by your aversion to conflict, even and especially within yourself. As soon as you feel two opposing forces, you shut down and fall into a pit of despair. I know this can sound so hurtful and dismissive, but please see the reality of hope when I say your emotions do not reflect the totality of what is true. I don't want you to stop feeling these things, I want you to stop acting like they are the only things that are true. Those vulnerable aspects of you never asked to carry the weight of being a solo performer. They need their supporting actors - all your other parts, that yes, seem antagonistic at first glance. But avoiding communication, be it inside or outside of yourself, won't lead to anything that will feel as good as you deserve.

You are scared of the fire within you. You are scared once you let it burn, everything you love and need will turn to ashes forever. You have no faith in the transformational power of emotional alchemy. This keeps you stuck in loneliness, because conflict is just a part of human connection that you need to befriend if you ever want to feel truly close to someone - yourself included.

The ashes give rise to the phoenix. The strike of a meteor brings new resources to a formerly closed off sphere and changes the whole game. You are cutting yourself off of a immensely valuable resource. I am not asking you to go on a killing spree - I am asking you to bravely admit to your humanness. With yourself, and in front of others.

Your affirmation is:

When I cultivate a spiritual connection I can trust the Universe no matter what.

Pile 3

The Lovers, Death rx

I see an open invitation being ignored in your aura. Someone is trustworthy and flexible, but you stick to rigid beliefs around the situation and assume the worst. They have hit you where it truly hurts, and you are so ashamed of having tender sports, you rather tell yourself being stuck with a villian instead of facing the truth: You are dealing with pain inside of your soul after this interaction. As long as you deny this, you can't receive the blessing of being truly seen and cared for. You ignore your hopeful and optimistic parts out of fear they will set you up for failure if you take them into account.

You are taking normal human imperfections as indicators for fundamental untrostworthyness. You do this to them and yourself alike. You refuse to see how the current situation is different from the past experiences that were actually hopeless. There is a happy end waiting for you. A realistic one, not a perfect one.

I understand this is concerning trauma you had no other means to deal with in the past but denying it and acting like an unscathed person. Habits born out of survival are tough to shake. But this one begs you to loosen your grip just this once. You won't suddenly turn into a helpless punching bag without any of your skills just because you dare let someone see your wound. And this person isn't just anyone. You having gotten scared, and hiding out of reflex, can totally be a topic of gentle discussion once the time is right to talk again. I'm sure they will understand.

Your affirmation is:

When I live and act from a place of spiritual alignment, I can trust that everything is working out for me, even if I don't know when or how it will happen.

Pile 4

3 of Cups rx, 3 of Wands

You had to experience your own limits, and your aura reflects your disappointment in yourself. You are being way too harsh. What you deem lost is merely dormant for now. Zoom out of the current moment and realize that you are way more than your worst days. Training this kind of perspective willl form beneficial associations everytime you dare to try it. Don't expect ecstacy as a result, more a timid sibling of hope saying you might not be utter trash after all. This is more than enough for now. Build on it step by step.

Really, cut yourself some slack. Have grace. Have compassion. You were completely overwhelmed by the circumstances, and now see yourself falling back on habits you thought you had gotten rid of once and for all. You think you have let people down irreversibly, but this is just not the case. If you can, communicate you having a hard time right now, that you can see the non-optimal influence you had on the situation, and then take the time of isolation you so desperately crave.

There will come brighter, more joyful days. The kinder you are to yourself right now, the quicker you will feel up for it again. Relief and comfort are your number one priority right now. This too shall pass. You will return to your healthier set of skills once you yourself are healthier. You got there once, you will get there again.

Your affirmation is:

Feeling good will bring me far more than whatever I thought I needed.

[peachyfnaf]

If you could say something to all TSAMS characters, what would you say?

WHOOH boy, that's a fuckin' question and a half, ain't it? i'm prolly gonna piss some people off with this, let's see... i kidnapped most of these characters from polaris' list lol

So I don't go off on tangents for each of em, i'm gonna try to limit myself to 1-3 sentences

Sun: You've been through a lot, haven't you? Find something to do in life, something that you love because you want to, not something that you love out of obligation or programming. You're smarter and stronger than you think, stop being held back by the past.

Old Moon: You have not changed as much as you think you have- you still have some very toxic and abusive behaviors. You are not irredeemable, but you are deeply flawed. Take time, work on yourself, and understand that while making up for your past might be impossible; it's not impossible for you to carve out a future where you and those you love are happy.

New Moon/Nexus: Oh, you poor thing, what happened to you? You fucked up, but you didn't deserve the hand you were given in life, no one in your position would. Please, let yourself feel again- the pain of losing it all- only then will you be able to come back out the other side ready to love again.

Earth: As you've grown and experienced life, you've become very immature. This isn't directly a bad thing, but it contrasts with what you try to be, and makes you an unreliable person to go to with mental health struggles. Don't take life so personally, and push a little bit harder, there's no need to be so soft on people who reject help who clearly need it.

Lunar: I am BEGGING you to show some vulnerability. I know it's genuinely so fucking hard after all you've been through, but if you keep acting like you're okay after every loss then eventually you'll become a shell of a man. ...And also, respectfully, humble yourself- you are incredible, but you are not the main character.

Solar: Take a break. Please, for the sake of yourself and everyone you care about, take a break. You can't save anyone if you yourself are dying- and the people you are trying to reach won't extend their hand to a dying man. Take a break.

Eclipse (V4 Specifically): ...What can I even say to you other than that I am so incredibly proud of you. And that I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything you went through, being compared to someone you're not. I wish people would leave you alone, as you so desperately want to be, you more than deserve that peace.

Bloodmoon: You're a lot more put together than people give you credit for. I'm sorry you were made the way you were, with the inability to live life without being consumed by your urges. You were born a monster, and no one gave you the proper chance to become anything but one.

Ruin: I'm sorry to say this, I really am, but even though the life you lived was horrid and tragic, that gives you no right to end billions of innocent lives in your quest for justice and revenge. You have my sympathies for the trauma you experienced, but my sympathies end there. Everything you experience after the massacre you pulled is your victims coming to bite you in the ass.

Jack: I love you, so much- I love you for trying as hard as you do. Remember, it's okay to say no. You are still growing and have a lot of it to do, be kind to yourself when you make mistakes.

Dazzle: Sweet girl, the most precious thing. Never change who you are, you are literally the shining star in the darkness that is this world. Never forget how much you are loved, for it is more than you could ever know.

The Creator: No matter how many machines you build, what scientific discoveries you make, how much progress you offer to humanity, you will always be alone. No one will ever love you, and it's all your fault. Remember that when you die alone, old man.

Monty: Your violence is not funny, at least not at the severity of which you do it. You lying to your girlfriend is not funny. Do better or fuck off.

Foxy: You try so hard, and I appreciate it, but learn that there are some things that you can not fix, and some places where you shouldn't stick your nose in. It's okay to be "a rubber duck", it's okay to be normal. Stop trying to be something you're not and embrace what you can.

F.C: I love you so much kid. You're a bit wild and off your rocker, but you've also shown so much unexpected maturity. Stop growing up so fast, yeah?

Puppet: I can appreciate all that you try to do, but please, understand that you acknowledging that you make mistakes does not nullify them. You have been hypocritical time and time again, and you need to learn and grow from those experiences, not just brush them off. You are capable of great things- just learn to do them.

AND THATS EVERYONE. YIPPEE. im gonna go eat shrimp now lol

[notebooks-and-laptops]

I have finally read Blue Wraith and Dark Fortress and I literally do not understand people who think Fenris was out of character, or had regressed in his character development throughout the comics.

Firstly; mages. Yes, when Fenris first meets Francesca he is weary of her, but I wouldn't say Fenris ever truly got over being weary of mages in da2. He came to understand that some mages can be trusted (Hawke, Bethany) but was willing to fight for the innocent circle mages (dependent on Hawkes choices) but he ALSO saw a close member of his friendship group blow up a chantry, and he perceives that what happened to Merethari (and possibly the whole clan) as Merrill's fault for her blood magic.

Besides which, Fenris is shown to be WAY LESS weary of mages than he used to be!! He begins to trust Francesca almost immediately, is telling her she has a good heart by the end of Blue Wraith, defending her when she needs it. He does not look at her and see "evil mage" or even "dangerous mage" like he would have about a mage of her power from TEVINTER no less, at the beginning of da2. Instead he gets close to her rather quickly.

Secondly; I know people get upset about this panel:

But Fenris has legitimate reasons to feel prickly about joining a new friendship group. In his old friendship group, he found love and friendship in Hawke and Isabela, in Varric, Aveline, Donic, Sebastian, Bethany and even perhaps Merrill, Carver and Anders. And then that friendship group ripped itself apart from the inside out. It exploded into chaos taking Fenris's home which he had built for himself; the first true home he could remember, with it. Fenris has every right to feel anxious about getting involved with new people. He has every right to feel "used" in some ways, particularly if he was brought on any of the "Justice" quest lines in Act 3 of DA2.

Fenris isn't a static character who's fully healed by the end of da2. He deserves to feel upset that he and his friends had to go their separate ways. He deserves to feel betrayed by what happened, by the destruction of his home.

And besides that, Blue Wraith and Dark Fortress both showed all the ways Fenris has grown. He has the same emotionally maturty he would display in da2, quickly apologising when he needs to. But he ALSO directs that sort of emotional maturity outwards now. He is not directly antagonistic to mages, or to those who defend them, like he was with Anders and Merrill. He offers comfort to those who need it, particularly at the end of the book, and seems to fill a "tired Dad/Older Brother" energy.

Also I cannot believe people don't see what happened with the Person He Does Not Kill in Dark Fortress as showing his character development throughout the end of da2 and blue wraith, when its basically an exact parallel to what happens in A Bitter Pill except he MAKES A DIFFERENT DECISON THIS TIME. like!!! Come on!!!

Overall this duo of comics was wonderful! I haven't even touched on the extra characters who I would 100% die for (particularly Sir Aaron and Francesca). I seriously recommend it and am just ??? At anyone who thinks it does Fenris dirty. I thought it was a perfect depiction of Fenris, I could even hear his dialogue in Fenris's voice it fit him so well.

[buryam-soul]

Hughyughh scattered no spoilers thoughts and feelings abt Masquerade of the Guilty bcs I need to empty my head a bit

Navia needs a hug. Maybe two

Furina needs many hugs also. If my eyes aren't burning I'd immediately go do her quest but alas

I am softening up to clorivia.... Still miffed about the way their resolution happened off screen in Act 2 but... What we do have now is nice. They're cute.

It doesn't beat Sumeru for me but the cast working together for the 'trap' is fun!

Mixed feelings on "Fontainians are actually [spoilers] BUT at the end of this act they're no longer [spoilers]!" Like the first part is cool and interesting and I started to wonder what the implications this could have on the world and... oops net zero information, forget I said anything, this is no longer true </3 I know it's for the best narratively but. Still...

Oh hey we get another dance cutscene for this region why am i crying

Mixed feelings about Neuvillette gaining [spoilers] also.... I dunno if I have words for it yet tho.

SERIOUSLY FURINA NEEDS ALL THE HUGS

Skirk... is kinda neat character wise. I don't pay attention to Childe so idk if it's accurate to what's been built up. But she's fun and gave us Descender lore. Can someone gif her yeeting [spoilers] please, that was so funny ngl

Oh hi Jurieu and Lourvine

Teeny tiny out of context Navia bcs I probably found this more amusing than I should have:

"Super sorry, Monsieur Chief Justice," she says in a court of law. I love her.

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

prerelationship 6, general 3, love 5 and 13? :3

dont not perceive me-

6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

neuvi would simply deny it, not because he's embarrassed but in the moment he literally doesn't think it would be possible for him to have a soulmate. This leads to another internal debate about the meaning of his existence like: He is a dragon so if he did have a soulmate to would have to be another dragon right? but there are very few dragons left in teyvat so statistically he would not have a soulmate. but also he WAS born in human form so he's not quite a dragon but not quiet human either so would that mean if he were to have a soulmate it would be more likely for them to be human? he thinks about this for the next 3 days and comes to the conclusion that "i am the chief justice of fontaine and have to remain impartial, but would consider timekeeper silvanus to be 'small and cute'" silvanus simply says 'impossible. i dont have time for that' and immediately starts ranting about all the things that need to be done today

3. What was their first kiss like?

oh my god. oh my od you cant do this to me im gonna die ive had two ideas abt this that are both equally as embarrassing the first idea being one of the many times neuvi is there to look after silvanus after she gets sick and during these visits they both start getting hit by their subconscious feelings, trying so hard to shove those thoughts back down while acting Normal. but it makes them both so fucking nervously awkward but one too many fleeting touches breaks them both down and theyre staring at each other like panicked creatures unable to break eye contact until silvie goes 'fuck it' and goes for it without realizing she just grabbed her wet and pathetic looking boss by his face and kissed him LMAO the second idea one follows the first one but instead of silvie kissing him in that moment theyre both like 'oh i like you and you also like me' and they talk abt their confused thoughts and feelings and neuvi decides he needs some time to understand his own emotions now knowing that silvanus also thinking of him this way but also if pursuing any of this would hinder his duties or silvanus' job so for the last week or two of silvanus' recovery he doesnt show up but the day before she's supposed to return to work her, he sends a note saying to meet him outside of the city and shes like 'ah man he wants to meet me where no one can see and turn me down' but SIKE he spent most of the time away reading books on human courtship and its a fucking DATE. he brought her out to a secluded area with pretty flowers and woodland creatures because he knows she likes gardening and cute animals and nervously kisses her there i have the funniest mental image of him being like 'i spent time reading about proper courtship and was recommended literature insightful literature about physical intimacy since i have little experience on that matter' and silvanus is like 'oh my god did the hydro archon recommend smutty literature to him??'

5. Who initiates kisses?

they had a strict 'no PDA' rule (that silvanus broke during the last part of the archon quest lmao) but silvanus probably, tho neuvi initiates physical affection more often. i imagine he can get very affectionate if given the chance to fumble awkwardly until it becomes more natural to him

13. Who remembers the little things?

i think both of them are intuitive in picking up seemingly small things about each other. after they get together, neuvillette is very aware of any possible trigger that could cause silvanus' illness to flare up (he will NOT have a repeat of the Last Incident). he is instinctively aware when sivlie hasn't eaten or more tired than usual and has like a 6th sense when silvanus tries to sneak in an extra cup of coffee or lie about not resting properly. while silvanus is able to read neuvillette's emotional state fairly well even though his behavior and body language stays relatively the same (to most people)

[kirnet]

for bee gee three can i get 1,3, 8, 9, 10, 21?

1. the character everyone gets wrong

astarion is just the safe and only answer here. no, he wouldn’t say that. you’re thinking of wyll. also speaking of wyll i think people just assume that he’s the nice boring one tm when he is also a freak. i love him so much

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

im too cowardly to go into the trenches so i dont leave my little safe bubble. the fenris/astarion and gale/anders comparisons make me homicidal tho

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

raphael is SO BAD AT SEX CANONICALLY. im sorry but its TRUE

9. worst part of canon

THE COMPLETE LACK OF WYLL. jesus. do my man justice give him his full amount of content. give him an act 3 story line that actually is a personal quest. absolute clown behavior they did him so dirty

10. worst part of fanon

i dont think i can think of anything rn… again i dont leave my little hole the world is so cold and scary. i guess just a general disrespect towards lae and wyll. also it is so incredibly horny. which i understand the game itself is also incredibly horny. but i think it often gets in the way of actually appreciating a character, especially when that character has issues around it like astarion

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

i dont understand the hype over isobel/aylin? dont get me wrong it’s great that there’s a main canon lesbian pairing, and i do really like aylin as a concept. (she’s very benny coded and i am but a man). but isobel is just. a wet blanket. its so boring i dont get it. i WANT to get it so bad

[allykakamatsu]

Scars of a Past Life

That moment when you realised you figuratively and literally scarred your kinda big brother for life.

My first comic! Think it came out okay but let me know what you think.

Bit more info on the story for this under cut:

So yeah. First of all, want to clarify I am a big believer in the Science Siblings (Ienzo, Repliku and Xion), however that comes with the baggage that Repliku basically murdered his big brother in cold blood and brutal fashion, made even worse if you follow the head cannon that Ienzo still has scars from the incident like I do. So, as the angst lover I am, I had to have this get brought up.

So, for the au (though really I want to imagine this happing in canon at some point if Repliku ever comes back) in between act 2 and 3 of the Fontaine Archon Quest Furina decides to host a birthday party for herself the God of Justice and the whole gang get's invited due to them helping finally resolve the serial killer case plus Laurium pulling some strings. So, shopping montage to get some nice clothes, it's all going well, but Ienzo, who up until this point has been keeping his neck covered at all costs, accidentally gets a dress that doesn't go high enough, and just as he's trying to figure out a solution, Repliku/Kagami comes in, forcing the former to explain and the latter to realise what he did.

Neither of them are properly ready to unpack all of this now, but they're acknowledging it which is a start.

[oogaboogaspookyman]

That voice of Taker is SPOO-KY LIKE DAMN.

[FULL BODY AMPUTATION]

.

.

.

.

.

.

[1]

AFTER THE CRIMES OF MAN

BIRTHED THE THING OF CLAY

I CRAVE ALL THE MASSES

I CRAVE FOR MORE BODIES TO TAKE.

*WHOMST'D'VE*

.

[2]

FULL BODY AMPUTATION

ACT OF INDIGNATION

ONCE I CONSUME MY RESPECTIVE MASS

THERE WILL BE REPERCUSSIONS.

*what's up with the CRUSTY ASS VOICE*

.

[3]

JOIN WITH YOUR FELLOWS

AVOID THE MAN-MADE GALLOWS

STAND STILL AND ACCEPT YOUR FATE

LET THE BLOODY CLAY CONSUME YOU IN IT'S EMBRACE.

*YOU GET YOUR VOICE CHECKED BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE*

.

[4]

*THE FUCK DO YOU WANT*

(LET YOURSELF BE TAKEN)

(TO A BETTER PLACE TO STAY)

(I KNOW IT'S WHAT THEY ALL WANT)

*MATE GO AWAY I'M NOT BUYING YOUR WEED*

(LET ME CONSUME YOUR FLESH)

(FEEL THE DARK RED EMBRACE)

(DON'T ESCAPE YOUR FATE, IT'S ONLY GETTING WORSE)

*spookyass VOICE, GOD*

.

[5]

CUT UP IN PARTS

TORN IN A SMALLER SIZE

THIS IS NOT WHO I AM, BRING BACK MY MASS.

*bro can't speak without sounding like a COUGHING CHAINSAW*

.

[6]

THIS BODY NEEDS TO BE COMPLETE, ASSIST ME IN MY QUEST FOR EXCELLENCE

HELP ME AND YOUR BRETHREN IN BECOMING THE BIGGER PRESENCE I'M BORN TO BE.

*whatchu ON about*

(GIVE YOURSELF IN)

.

[7]

GIVE YOURSELF IN, BECOME ONE WITH ME

DON'T BE SO EMPTY.

*WEIRDO*

(JOIN THE DEAD)

.

[8]

AFTER THE CRIMES OF MAN

BIRTHED THE THING OF CLAY

I CRAVE ALL THE MASSES

I CRAVE FOR MORE BODIES TO TAKE.

*hhhhhhhhhhh*

.

[9]

LET YOURSELF BE TAKEN TO A BETTER PLACE TO STAY

YOU BELONG WITH THE OTHER DEAD I TAKE, MY FRIEND.

*SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU'RE WEIRD AND I'M NOT GONNA LISTEN TO SOME CRUNCHY WEIRD VOICE NOT EVEN JOKING*

.

"Deemed too hard to contain. Killed and dismantled by GL Labs. Seemed to gain more form as more subjects were TAKEN. TAKEN. TAKEN. TAKEN."

.

[10]

FULL BODY AMPUTATION

ACT OF INDIGNATION

ONCE I CONSUME MY RESPECTIVE MASS

THERE WILL BE REPERCUSSIONS.

*WHAT*

.

[11]

LET ME TAKE YOU WITH THE DEAD

YOU BELONG WITH YOUR FRIENDS

DON'T MAKE ME USE FORCE

IT'S NOT GOING TO BE SO PLEASANT, MY FRIEND.

*FUCK OFF*

.

run

run

don't stop running

don't stop running

run and don't stop running

run

run

run

run

run

you're almost there

keep running

you're almost there

just

keep

running

.

[12]

I'm coming, Girlfriend

Stay there, i'm close

Stay still, Girlfriend

(I CRAVE VOICES)

Don't fear, we'll be home.

(I CRAVE SOME JUSTICE...)

[end.]

[ressing]

More about mass effect ocs pls?

ah right, thank you for the reminder sorry im so late lol i cant remember their names or if i even thought of names for any of them, but i was super into them for a time

human spectre because of course, didnt like how things devolved into politics too much with the council, spectres werent just spies they were also sent out on help missions and were like the vigilantes of the galaxy, or so she had thought but then it was red tape and you cant do this or that because itll look bad toward potiental allies blah blah so she stole her own ship back from dock at the citidel and basically went off on her own to form a crew and try to help like she always thought they were supposed to. side note 3 characters in and i remember the basis, its after me3 and shepard has destroyed the reapers and now while the galaxy and the citadel are rebuilding opportunistic space pirates start entering the system and taking out refugee convoys and medical ships and the council instead of doing anything refuse to try to fix the problem because any acts of aggression in the newly reforming civilizaed galaxy will almost guaranteed to result in a all out war.

the asari, the tech specalist who cant do much biotics unlike most asari, was passed up as a spectre due to a hot streak and just worked for c sec or whatever they were called ill be real its been YEARS since ive really written them all dow, but when the human spectre gets thrown in the brig for telling the council off and basically going rogue in their eyes they meet because she in charge of the cells that day lol, but some big speech about justice and being able to tell your bosses to fuck off shouldnt land you in jail and she agrees and helps the spectre break out but they both kinda realize that this is like... the end of their lives on the citadel and will be wanted fugitives from here on out but its better then sitting twiddling their thumbs while the galaxy goes to shit.

the turian quarian, quarian fleet finds a turian ship adrift and are going abuot searching it and clearing it out to add it to the flotilla as a new ship (i dont know if quarians actually do this but yolo) and onboard they find a baby turian and one of the search party kinda.. adopts her, doesnt wanna give her up due to her own issues with having kids and wanting to have a family she sorta puppy dog eyes everyone into letting her keep this baby, but of course being kept in sterile enviroments all the time your immune system tends to shut down and she started needing the full suits like quarians do. she joined the crew after on the citadel (during the daring escape/steal a ship mission the spectre does) after being saved by a different quarian and then talked into joining. was getting a lot of shit about her being a turian playing dress up as a quarian but shes fully like "uh but i am a quarian see the suit i was born on the flotilla?" joins the crew as a way to help find who she really is (soul searching quest)

the other quarian, this quarian is a biotic (which i also dont know if quarians can be but yolo) and only found out when he and his like best friend are sent on their quarian life mission thing to bring back to the flotilla, but his best friend came onto him and when he rejected her she flipped and like attacked him and he was just trying to hold her back honest he didnt mean his biotics to go off like that she was his best friend of course he wasnt TRYING to kill her it was an accident! so then hes on the citadel hiding in shady bars and back alleys kinda stepping into random muggings and assaults to try to redeem himself to himself and steps into the turian quarian getting mugged and saves her and is afterward also recruited to the ship by the spectre.

THE KROGAN now this one im upset about because i cant remember his name and its so GOOD HES THE BEST him and the turian quarian are my favorites. he was doing that puberty ritual against the giant worm, you know grunts best mission, and like during three when you walk through old krogan ruins and you find out they were this smart race before destorying themselves and their world in nuclear war? yeah well this krogan found out the same thing, during his giant worm fight it caused an earthquake and he was swallowed up into the ruins of his homeworld, thought dead his teammates left him and he just sorta steeled himself and went about trying to survive and get out. took a while for his eyes to get used to the darkness and after years and years in the dark his eyes are like only used to the dark now so he wears riddick style glasses. but he also found all these old ruins and books and poems and writing and religion and after years of being down there he suddenly had found a den of those weird lizard dogs vulvas or whatever their called vespas thats it, he managed to like tame the pack using recovered knowledge from the ruins and used them to lead him back out of the darkness through their own tunnels. hes now a messiah like dude on the citadel doing preaching about non violence but uh.. isnt against using violence to achieve non violence. argue it with him and he will headbutt you until you agree not to be violent, see there he was right all along, the strongest gets to say what goes and hes stronger and he says get the fuck along. his name was a one word holy esqe word like redemption or resolution or something and IM SO MAD I CANT REMEMBER HES THE BEST ONE just picture a big krogan guy in heavy armor but also draped in like a toga with a pack of VARREN (i remembered) and also little black sunglass/goggle thing. he joined the spectre on the promise that theyre gonna make the galaxy safer and better for everyone

the salarian, female salarian which are usually guarded on the homeworld for breeding or whatever that lore was, really hated the whole idea of being kept safe or like doing medical or science work, so she sorta jumped ship and became an arms dealer, you see this huge hulking krogan sized armor walking toward you and the visor opens up and its this fucking frog thing half your size and not even half the size of a krogan, jumping around doing scrobatics is boring and tiring and really if i can just wear my huge custom made armor ill never be hit by a bullet ever!

a biotic volus who works like a merchant for the group offering quests and discounts to friends (the crew) just asks for passage occasionally, always seems nervous and kinda shady, just wants to be safe from pirates stealing his goods and wants the galaxy back in working order and these guys seem to be doing a better job making space safer for someone dealing in moving vast quantities of merchandise around.

and finally on the ship are the stoways; a batarian and a "freed" (hacked) geth, they are actually kinda up there in rank space pirates in their own regard and realized when they were in a bad spot so played along as crew members wanting to bring peace to the galaxy too while sending out info to the space pirates they know will be around and tip them off something is happening

the geth has stickers all over it and graffiti and is only like half itself, its like half locked down by the batarian chick to be a body guard thing, if it could control itself it would most likely stick with her as it does actually like her but would probably be more vocal about disagreeing with some aspects of their "jobs"

the batarian was just some girl because i went "you dont see females of these species often so ill make one of my ocs that, and she will be a cool lesbian pirate hanging out with a cool geth"

[esperanta-dragon]

For the directors cut asks, what was going to happen in infimitudes of ice?

Ok, I did not expect a question about my dead comic. Well, it's not dead, just sleeping as only thinking of coming back to drawing comics is triggering my burnout without even doing anything. I was not ready for comics but I am training hard so I can come back soon and tell the story. This story is more than 10 years old, had at least 3 versions written, and only one finished. Then I told myself I want to do this story justice and make a comic instead. Well... in previous versions, it was actually a story about Asimeria, my OC. Because it was the first WoW story I ever wrote and as it happens when you start, you usually start with your OC.

But what happened after years of working with death knights was that I felt bad they never got the proper spotlight, they have only 1 manga and a few quests in the game but overall, Ebon Blade has almost nothing.

So Infinitude of Ice evolved over time into the prequel of Wrath of the Lich King, before the questline with death knights starts. And then it should continue and show how the Scourgewar looked like from the Ebon Blade point of view. Asimeria is only triggering some events in Naxxramas. And she acts as an introduction to the story. An origin story of my OC evolved into "everybody's story" where multiple stories about multiple characters are being told and connected together, acting as a foundation for Wrath of the Lich King. And it connects also events from a story about sir Zeliek which was written in 2014 but was erased from the internet as I am rewriting it, giving it bigger meaning and polishing it. Sadly, I am still waiting for my muse kick to finish it over a period of a few weeks. I apologize for not answering the question of what would happen next as it would be a spoiler and I am still planning to continue with the story once I am ready to come back. But knowing that it should be a prequel to DK starting zone, how things were set in motion even before that by specific characters, and then showing what the Ebon Blade were doing in Northrend and what they were going through in their minds because death knights are everything but shallow. They are walking trauma and mental health issues. Wish me luck so I get ready soon to continue the story. Because now I am wasting time not drawing it.

[bitchydragondoodle]

extremely Pale White and i LOVE HIMB. he got done so dirty and i wanted to see so much more of him and Ulder than we got. they changed his darn quest to a sidequest when it’s inherently tied to act 3 and i am Mad about it. also mad about how much mizora has to linger around in act 3 and how hard it is to let wyll break his pact in the first place. He’s extremely well written, his story is like a greek tragedy that parallels everyone’s favorite vampy in terms of how the victim never truly wins in either situation. Free him from the pact and he loses the swagger of the Blade, forced to fall into step as another noble of Baldur’s Gate. Keep the pact, and his soul is doomed to the Hells. Yet everyone’s fawning over Astarion, or Gale, or Karlach, or anyone else as having a sadder ending because of the angst that is put into the cinematic work for other poster characters when Wyll Ravengard gets so little in return.

Seriously, I can’t think of much angsty cinematic work for him at all save for his transformation as a devil or anything to do with his pact. Even his flashbacks are just…blank. Narration.

JUSTICE FOR THE BLADE.

black people in the bg3 fandom will express the inherent antiblackness perpetrated by the fans and the game itself and the response would be said fans doubling down why they're justified to think that wyll is boring, too nice, not very well written (you can't have this problem with wyll when rolan/dammon/zevlor have fanbases) , you're literally just showing that you either don't care and that you are contributing to the problem

[riddlerosehearts]

...well. i finished my first playthrough of baldur's gate 3. over the last several days i did the fight against gortash, the final battle against the netherbrain, the ending scenes at the docks, and the epilogue party. in this post i'll just write about everything up until the ending cutscenes start, and then make another post tomorrow because i have many thoughts and i don't want to make this be insanely long. not that it matters since i've basically just been making these posts for myself the entire time, but ANYWAY

love the fact that i was able to cast otto's irresistible dance on gortash during the very first turn and keep him boogeying for a bit before he managed to break out of it. using it on someone like him is just hilarious. this battle was surprisingly really easy, though? like with both otto's irresistible dance and hold person available, gortash barely got to do anything and there were only a couple other enemies who were incredibly easy to defeat. the grenade launchers were more annoying than anything else. kind of underwhelming but considering how difficult some of the other act 3 fights have been, and how close i now am to the end, i'm not complaining!

i'm so sad about karlach oh my god. she hasn't even been a favorite of mine, i mean, i like her a lot, she's always a delight to talk to, but she's not the type of character i get as easily attached to and i haven't used her on my team that much overall. and yet her voice acting was so full of emotion and her dialogue so heartwrenching that she made me wanna cry. gortash is dead and it should feel like this big victory but for her it isn't, because it doesn't change anything about what's happened or what's going to happen to her... elenion tried to joke around and call gortash ugly and karlach said she was too tired to laugh. they told her they think she should keep living as long as she can and she said "you do it, i'm tired". she's tried so hard to seem positive and hide her loneliness but now she's so caught up in her grief and anger that she's just tired of it all. "i want to live" plays in the background of the scene. she ends things by saying "love you" even if you're not romancing her. god i want to hug her so bad :( going to use the hugs mod i have installed to do that after talking to her back at camp.

talking to everyone around the camp, lae'zel is so encouraging in her own way and even astarion says there's no justice in the world because of what's happening to karlach... for some reason, it was this bit of dialogue with jaheira that made me actually tear up a little:

like i guess it's just the fact that jaheira is this legendary hero that karlach looks up to and was so excited to meet, and here she is saying she doesn't know what else she can do to help karlach. it's so unfair what the fuck!!

had to screenshot this dialogue from wyll in the astral plane because i love him:

the emperor is an interesting character, and i can honestly understand why some people, and some tavs, might trust him and want to ally with him. but elenion is very untrusting by nature, and sure, he's grown a lot and learned to put more trust in his allies--but the emperor as the dream guardian just constantly made him feel confused and uncertain and then once he was finally willing to fully trust them, he found out that he was being lied to after all. and then the emperor kept withholding information from him, and trying to convince him that he should become an illithid. so no, he is not allying with the emperor!! although orpheus's attitude is not exactly winning me over lmao, for one thing we did not STEAL the githyanki egg!!

WOAH the baby owlbear grew up?! big armored owlbear?! was not expecting that! also, huh, zevlor is here too... i don't think the gather your allies quest ever mentions him in the quest journal so i didn't realize he'd show back up. maybe it's just me, but i kind of wish there was more resolution to his story. i looked up whether he ever reappears after you rescue him in act 2 and found that he doesn't, and he doesn't even have a voiced line of dialogue at high hall, which really sticks out and seems weird because everyone else does except for him and volo?? the gondians also aren't here even though the quest journal does mention them... i think i got pretty much every not-evil ally, though! except for mol, i guess.

i callled pretty much every ally during the big battles in the courtyard because i wanted to see what they could do! and then i only called a few during the actual final battle because i was afraid that certain characters like zevlor or the owlbear might permadie. but it's so cool being able to call on everyone who you've helped throughout the game, as it really helps these last battles feel more epic and exciting. though it also makes me wonder what the rest of my party who isn't here in high hall is doing... like, okay, so jaheira and halsin were not in my party and they still showed up to give their aid. but what about minsc and boo? what about shadowheart, astarion, and karlach?? are they all just chilling out at camp while the rest of us fight?? it just feels odd that they don't show up here at all.

i accidentally got party wiped while trying to reach the netherbrain because i couldn't figure out where i was actually supposed to be going and messed up... please, if i ever have to be part of a band of heroes rising up to stop a world-ending threat, do not make me the leader. my nonexistent sense of direction will literally doom us all. the second attempt was really easy once i figured out what i was doing LMAO but i did also have to restart the final battle because... i had no idea how the thing with the netherbrain destroying the platforms worked and my party all died at once the first time. it's my first playthrough and i knew nothing about this whole part of the game, so of course there was going to be some trial and error. i had a lot of fun with all of that, though!!

and now we get to the ending cutscenes... which i will be posting about separately later. for now i'll just say i love this game and i can't believe i've hit the end of it. i started playing in march what the fuck.