#doing a full day's work at 10 or 12
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canisalbus · 3 months ago
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giordano reminds me of one of those teachers or parents who expects a child to know everything intrinsically and never make mistakes just because they happen to be smart. like the kind of mentor to expect Way too much from a young child and is overly proud when they do succeed (no thanks to them) so much so the mentor takes their accomplishment as their own and makes it about them. i feel so bad for baby machete and the dynamic he has with giordano, its unlocking childhood trauma. even though becoming a priest and a cardinal was a doomed decision i am glad he got to accomplish something outside of him 💔
Yeah, that sounds about right. Not only were his expectations unreasonably high and punishments harsh, he was also reluctant or incapable of praising and affirming the child if they tried their best and managed to succeed in something. He was very much teaching through negative consequences (which must've contributed to Machete's neurotic and perfectionistic personality).
He was also petty and jealous for a man of his age and status, and when Machete exceeded his expectations and surpassed Giordano in the church hierarchy at a considerably young age, the latter felt bitter and resentful and tried to claim credit for his accomplishments.
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deoidesign · 2 months ago
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months ago
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aimfor-theheart · 6 months ago
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ik its good that i’m going to all these auditions and callbacks but oh my god cielo is Tired
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thedreadvampy · 2 years ago
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aaaaaaaaaaa work is so overwhelming just now I feel like my brain may explode
#red said#i can't tell if i have too much to do or if I'm just being disorganised in doing it!!!!!!#but i was meant to have a full data report done by tomorrow and i haven't found more than 20 straight minutes this week to look at it#the new boss keeps ASKING ME THINGS and ASKING ME TO DO THINGS#and the fucking. readability argument filled up SO MUCH of Monday and Tuesday with both back and forth and silent seethe#i have to be in all her meetings and she's sending me a bazillion things for social media#and my colleague's off on leave so I'm picking up his social channels too except I'm NOT cause i don't know what to PUT on them#need to put together a new video ad by next Friday#need to do like 5 more blogs#and the staff newsletter! gotta get that out by lunchtime!!!! haven't started it!!!!!!!#3 meetings today. gotta do vo recording tomorrow. and both today and tomorrow are short days#cause i have therapy today and I'm taking kofi for a Birthday Treat tomorrow afternoon so i gotta knock off at 12:30#it's all very well to say work to live not live to work AND I DO but the expectations remain!!!!!!#and i feel like I'm failing and being lazy if i can't easily do everything that's asked of me. is my problem.#it's very important to have a manager who understands that their job with me isn't too drive me forwards#but to manage the amount of work that hours my desk because I WILL try to do all of it and i WILL usually manage#but it will absolutely fuck me long term#crying wailing i miss my manager 😭 10 months!!!! come back!!!!!!!#we don't always have the most idyllic work relationship but she knows me very well and i trust her to help not hinder with my stress levels#and also like if i tell her i am spiralling like this she would always help me prioritise#but i don't yet know or trust the mat cover well enough to talk to her about overwhelm. and i feel the need to establish myself first.#like I gotta prove that I'm hardworking and reliable and that when i say i can't cope i mean it and I'm not trying to dodge work#which. boy. working life as a disabled person sure does colour your thinking huh.#gotta first prove I'm EXCEPTIONALLY committed and hardworking and Good At Job BEFORE i can allow myself to struggle
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crowcryptid · 2 years ago
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Going a little crazy cause of my 12 hours a day job which only pays 8 hours because commute time isn’t considered and I spend over half the day doing nothing because it’s more like a part time that’s been artificially stretched out and also the job is done entirely online and I’m only forced to come in person because of boomer bosses I’m going a little crazy
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boreal-sea · 5 months ago
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Look.
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I have made you a chart. A very simple chart.
People say "You have to draw the line somewhere, and Biden has crossed it-" and my response is "Trump has crossed way more lines than Biden".
These categories are based off of actual policy enacted by both of these men while they were in office.
If the ONLY LINE YOU CARE ABOUT is line 12, you have an incredible amount of privilege, AND YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT PALESTINIANS. You obviously have nothing to fear from a Trump presidency, and you do not give a fuck if a ceasefire actually occurs. You are obviously fine if your queer, disabled, and marginalized loved ones are hurt. You clearly don't care about the status of American democracy, which Trump has openly stated he plans to destroy on day 1 he is in office.
EDIT:
Ok fine, I spent 3 hours compiling sources for all of these, you can find that below the cut.
I'll give at least one link per subject area. There are of course many more sources to be read on these subject areas and no post could possibly give someone a full education on these subjects.
Biden and trans rights: https://www.hrc.org/resources/president-bidens-pro-lgbtq-timeline
Trump and trans rights: https://www.aclu.org/news/lgbtq-rights/trump-on-lgbtq-rights-rolling-back-protections-and-criminalizing-gender-nonconformity
The two sources above show how Biden has done a lot of work to promote trans rights, and how Trump did a lot of work to hurt trans rights.
Biden on abortion access: https://www.cnn.com/2022/07/08/politics/what-is-in-biden-abortion-executive-order/index.html
Trump on abortion access: https://apnews.com/article/abortion-trump-republican-presidential-election-2024-585faf025a1416d13d2fbc23da8d8637
Biden openly supports access to abortion and has taken steps to protect those rights at a federal level even after Roe v Wade was overturned. Trump, on the other hand, was the man who appointed the judges who helped overturn Roe v Wade and he openly brags about how proud he is of that decision. He also states that he believes individual states should have the final say in whether or not abortion is legal, and that he trusts them to "do the right thing", meaning he supports stronger abortion bans.
Biden on environmental reform: https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2021/10/07/fact-sheet-president-biden-restores-protections-for-three-national-monuments-and-renews-american-leadership-to-steward-lands-waters-and-cultural-resources/
Trump on environmental reform: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/climate/trump-environment-rollbacks-list.html
Biden has made major steps forward for environmental reform. He has restored protections that Trump rolled back. He has enacted many executive orders and more to promote environmental protections, including rejoining the Paris Accords, which Trump withdrew the USA from. Trump is also well known for spreading conspiracy theories and lies about global climate change, calling it a "Chinese hoax".
Biden on healthcare and prescription reform: https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/06/09/biden-administration-announces-savings-43-prescription-drugs-part-cost-saving-measures-president-bidens-inflation-reduction-act.html
Trump on healthcare reform: https://www.cnn.com/2024/01/07/politics/obamacare-health-insurance-ending-trump/index.html
I'm rolling healthcare and prescriptions and vaccines and public health all into one category here since they are related. Biden has lowered drug costs, expanded access to medicaid, and ACA enrollment has risen during his presidency. He has also made it so medical debt no longer applies to a person's credit score. He signed many executive orders during his first few weeks in office in order to get a handle on Trump's grievous mishandling of the COVID pandemic. Trump also wants to end the ACA. Trump is well known for refusing to wear a mask during the pandemic, encouraging the use of hydroxylchloroquine to "treat" COVID, and being openly anti-vaxx.
Biden on student loan forgiveness: https://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/biden-harris-administration-announces-additional-77-billion-approved-student-debt-relief-160000-borrowers
Trump on student loan forgiveness: https://www.forbes.com/sites/adamminsky/2024/06/20/trump-knocks-bidens-vile-student-loan-forgiveness-plans-suggests-reversal/
Trump wants to reverse the student loan forgiveness plans Biden has enacted. Biden has already forgiven billions of dollars in loans and continues to work towards forgiving more.
Infrastructure funding:
I'm putting these links next together because they are all about infrastructure.
In general, Trump's "achievements" for infrastructure were to destroy environmental protections to speed up projects. Many of his plans were ineffective due to the fact that he did not clearly outline where the money was going to come from, and he was unwilling to raise taxes to pay for the projects. He was unable (and unwilling) to pass a bipartisan infrastructure bill during his 4 years in office. He did sign a few disaster relief bills. He did not enthusiastically promote renewable energy infrastructure. He created "Infrastructure Weeks" that the federal government then failed to fund. Trump did not do nothing for infrastructure, but his no-tax stance and his dislike for renewable energy means the contributions he made to American infrastructure were not as much as he claimed they were, nor as much as they could have been. Basically, he made a lot of promises, and delivered on very few of them. He is not "against" infrastructure, but he's certainly against funding it.
Biden was able to pass that bipartisan bill after taking office. The Bipartisan Infrastructure Plan that Trump tried to prevent from passing during Biden's term contains concrete funding sources and step by step plans to rebuild America's infrastructure. If you want to read the plan, you can find it here: https://www.whitehouse.gov/build/guidebook/. Biden has done far more for American infrastructure than Trump did, most notably by actually getting the bipartisan bill through congress.
Biden on Racial Equity: https://www.npr.org/sections/president-biden-takes-office/2021/01/26/960725707/biden-aims-to-advance-racial-equity-with-executive-actions
Trump on Racial Equity: https://www.axios.com/2024/04/01/trump-reverse-racism-civil-rights https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-us-canada-37230916
Trump's racist policies are loud and clear for everyone to hear. We all heard him call Mexicans "Drug dealers, criminals, rapists". We all watched as he enacted travel bans on people from majority-Muslim nations. Biden, on the other hand, has done quite a lot during his term to attempt to reconcile racism in this country, including reversing Trump's "Muslim ban" the first day he was in office.
Biden on DEI: https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/presidential-actions/2021/06/25/executive-order-on-diversity-equity-inclusion-and-accessibility-in-the-federal-workforce/
Trump on DEI: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-tried-to-crush-the-dei-revolution-heres-how-he-might-finish-the-job/ar-BB1jg3gz
Biden supports DEI and has signed executive orders and passed laws that support DEI on the federal level. Trump absolutely hates DEI and wants to eradicate it.
Biden on criminal justice reform: https://time.com/6155084/biden-criminal-justice-reform/
Trump on criminal justice reform: https://www.vox.com/2020-presidential-election/21418911/donald-trump-crime-criminal-justice-policy-record https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2024/05/trumps-extreme-plans-crime/678502/
From pardons for non-violent marijuana convictions to reducing the federal government's reliance on private prisons, Biden has done a lot in four years to reform our criminal justice system on the federal level. Meanwhile, Trump has described himself as "tough on crime". He advocates for more policing, including "stop and frisk" activities. Ironically it's actually quite difficult to find sources about what Trump thinks about crime, because almost all of the search results are about his own crimes.
Biden on military support for Israel: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/biden-obama-divide-closely-support-israel-rcna127107
Trump on military support for Israel: https://www.vox.com/politics/353037/trump-gaza-israel-protests-biden-election-2024
Biden supports Israel financially and militarily and promotes holding Israel close. So did Trump. Trump was also very pro-Israel during his time in office and even moved the embassy to Jerusalem and declared Jerusalem the capitol of Israel, a move that inflamed attitudes in the region.
Biden on a ceasefire: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2024/06/05/gaza-israel-hamas-cease-fire-plan-biden/73967659007/
Trump on a ceasefire: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-israel-gaza-finish-problem-rcna141905
Trump has tried to be quiet on the issue but recently said he wants Israel to "finish the problem". He of course claims he could have prevented the whole problem. Trump also openly stated after Oct 7th that he would bar immigrants who support Hamas from the country and send in officers to American protests to arrest anyone supporting Hamas.
Biden meanwhile has been quietly urging Netanyahu to accept a ceasefire deal for months, including the most recent announcement earlier in June, though it seems as though that deal has finally fallen through as well.
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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I'm gonna be so open and honest with you guys right now i fucking rly dont want to go to work tomorrow .
#im violently nauseous rn and ik its judt bc ive been in a straining position and also i ate like 20 slimjins but like km only gonna get 5#hours of sleep maximum im gonna have a headache im so tired of everything i wanna have a day off but i cant. Its only tuesday and im#already liek Please can we be done please no more this week all done all done#im so fucking sick of working i dont want to have to work for the next 40 years Minimum. i hate everythingbon earth#i dont understand how ppl work fulltime and have a life i only get 2 live At all on weekends#and even then its only 1 day saturday bc sunday is my Doing all my chores and stuff day#so i do all my laundry i tidy up the room Et cetera. i dont udnerstand how people can just do this forever#it genuinely feels like. bc i leave 4 work at 6am. i get home around 5pm. im supposed to go to bed. well technically i should go 2 bed at#9 to get a full 9 hours but look man . that would give me 4 hours a day to be a person#so my bedtime is officially 10 but usually i go to bed at 12 which means i dont get enough sleep which means as soon as i getnoff work the#next day im even less willing to do anything#+ doing anything fun fucking costs money if not the thing itself the travel expenses. and if i spend money i just have to work to make that#money back i fucking hate it. and im doing this for what. so that in 40 years i can retire and then 10 years after that oh no unforeseen#expenses or something suddenly my retirement isnt cutting it i have to go work at fucking walmart or something as a 70 year old judt to#make ends meet. god. And when the fuck am i supposed to have kids i want kids very badly one day but how the fuck am i supposed to have#kids if id only be able to spend Maximum 6 hours a day with them. thats if my work is like Doectly next door.#how. how. how. less than 6 hours even bc theyd go to bed before i did so rly like 3 hours a day with my theoretical kids Im an awful#theoretical parent and maybe my theoretical spouse works less hours so they can be home with the kids but they resent me for always being#at fucking work 9 hours a fucking day and they resent me for not being there for our theoretical kids Im sorry theoretical partner i want#to fucking be there but SOMEBODY has to put money into our theoretical savings account. UGH!!!#i hate work i hate it i hate it#i dont even hate my job i just hate that its my entire fucking life#i hate that i essentially get half a day every week thats truly mine that i get to do whatever i want. and in my current situation i barely#even fucking get that idk.
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ailesswhumptober · 5 months ago
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Prompts for AI-less Whumptober 2024
As promised, we're bringing you the official prompt list of AI-less Whumptober 2024 today!
We have 31 days of excellent whump prompts, with three prompts per day to pick from, fun themes, and 10 alt prompts to play around with. We hope you enjoy! Additional info + plain text versions of the prompts can be found under the cut.
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FAQ and Rules
What sort of content can I create for this event?
You can create whatever you want (fic, art, edits, etc). Any fandom is allowed, as well as OC stuff. NSFW is allowed, but please tag your content accordingly! The only thing not allowed is AI-generated content.
Do I need to make 31 things to participate?
Oh heavens no! You can make as much or as little content as you like, skip days when desired, or combine prompts (so for example, write something that covers a prompt from day 1, 2, AND 3). You don't have to do the days in order either, go wild! To be considered a 'completionist', you only have to make sure that at the end of the month, you've covered 31 prompts from 31 different days, but whether you do that in 31 works or just 1 is up to you.
What are these alts about?
If none of the three prompts of a particular day are your cup of tea, you can swap them out for an alt prompt of your choice.
What are these themes about?
Just a little bit of extra fun for the mods. Like last year, we'll be handing out various badges for people participating in the event. A full list can be found here, perhaps there is a special badge or two for people who can't be completionists but who do manage to finish every single day of a specific theme ;)
How do I tag and is there an AO3 collection?
It suffices to tag your work with #ailesswhumptober for us to see and reblog it! Please also tag nsfw, since we'll be using that tag too. Tagging the day is optional but does help the mods along.
There is an AO3 collection to add your fics to here.
That should be all. If you have any additional questions, check our pinned or hit us up in the ask box. Or join our discord maybe, whumping can be a great group activity!
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Plain text versions of the prompts:
October 1 - Torture Tuesday
public torture/public use, stress position, “If you cry, we’ll go easy on you.”
October 2 - Whumperless Wednesday
Unfortunate fall, car accident, “Don’t move. You’ll be okay.”
October 3 - Trauma Thursday
Shared trauma, survivor’s guilt, “It’s not your fault.”
October 4 - Fright/Freaky Friday
Painful transformation, non-consensual body modifications, “You’re a monster.”
October 5 - Sensory Saturday
Overstimulation, migraines, “I can’t take this anymore.”
October 6 - Surprise Sunday
Multiple whumpees, self sacrifice, “I’m the only one who can do this.”
October 7 - Medical Monday
Field medicine, running out of supplies, “Hold on, we’re going to have to improvise.”
October 8 - Torture Tuesday
Rope burns, gagged, “You’re so much prettier this way.”
October 9 - Whumperless Wednesday
Hypothermia, heatstroke, “You look pretty pale.”
October 10 - Trauma Thursday
Self worth issues, pushing away a loved one, “You don't need to earn this.”
October 11 - Fright/Freaky Friday
Hallucinations, truth serum, “Why would you even say that?”
October 12 - Sensory Saturday
Isolation, sensory deprivation, “Can you feel me? I’m right here, whumpee.”
October 13 - Surprise Sunday
Whumpee using themself as bait, defiance, “Take me instead.”
October 14 - Medical Monday
Seizures, concussion, “See if you can follow my finger with your eyes.”
October 15 - Torture Tuesday
Waterboarding, removing body parts, “Don’t break down on me yet.”
October 16 - Whumperless Wednesday
Drowning, hostile environment, “I don’t know how anybody could survive that.”
October 17 - Trauma Thursday
Abandonment, misunderstanding, “Why did I even think you cared?”
October 18 - Fright/Freaky Friday
Mind control, possession, “Everybody will end up despising you.”
October 19 - Sensory Saturday
Disassociation, losing a sense, “I wish I could get you back.”
October 20 - Surprise Sunday
Enemy/Stranger to caretaker, accidental de-aging, “I’m absolutely not qualified for this shit.”
October 21 - Medical Monday
Drugged, ambulance ride, “This will make you feel better, okay?”
October 22 - Torture Tuesday
Forced (to kneel/watch/hurt somebody else), whipped, “Do not look away.” October 23 - Whumperless Wednesday
Fever, passing out, “Hey?! Stay with me, okay?!”
October 24 - Trauma Thursday
Deconditioning, relapse, “It’s normal that you need more time.”
October 25 - Fright/Freaky Friday
Humiliation, betrayal, “How could you?!”
October 26 - Sensory Saturday
Electrocution, burning, “This is going to sting.”
October 27 - Surprise Sunday
Before vs after, Alternate universe, “Well, there’s a first for everything.”
October 28 - Medical Monday
Internal bleeding, needles and stitches, “I didn’t think the wound was that bad…”
October 29 - Torture Tuesday
Ownership, branding, “Everybody will know that you’re mine.”
October 30 - Whumperless Wednesday
Poison, delirium, “You’re not making sense.”
October 31 - Trauma Thursday
Panic attack, facing a phobia, “You need to get out of here!”
Alt prompts:
1) Pistol whipped
2) Co-dependency
3) Animal bite
4) Zombies
5) White room torture
6) Shock collar
7) Pulling teeth
8) Kidnapping
9) “You always make everything worse!”
10) “If you weren’t around, I’d be long dead by now...”
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febuwhump · 11 months ago
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FEBUWHUMP 2024 PROMPT LIST
this year's prompts were chosen through a suggestion poll (in which we recevied 2,281 prompts) and a subsequent vote, where over 1,000 people voted for their favourites. the top 29 make up the core prompts, and a mixture of the next most popular - and this blog's personal favourites - have become the alternates
i’m so excited to see what you all create with these prompts, and hope they’re inspiring enough to trigger a whole month’s worth of creativity for you! if you have any questions, please check out the blog's faq before sending an ask, or check out the previously asked questions on the blog!
please note: this year, notifying the blog of completionist status will happen through a google form that will be released closer to the end of febuwhump.
full write-up of prompts and rules under the cut:
FEBUWHUMP 2024 PROMPTS:
DAY 1: helpless
DAY 2: solitary confinement
DAY 3: "bite down on this"
DAY 4: obedience
DAY 5: rope burns
DAY 6: "you lied to me"
DAY 7: suffering in silence
DAY 8: "why won't it stop?"
DAY 9: bees
DAY 10: killing in self defence
DAY 11: time loop
DAY 12: semi-conscious
DAY 13: "you weren't supposed to get hurt"
DAY 14: blood-stained tiles
DAY 15: "who did this to you?"
DAY 16: came back wrong
DAY 17: hostage situation
DAY 18: too weak to move
DAY 19: "please don't"
DAY 20: truth serum
DAY 21: unresponsive
DAY 22: "you weren't meant to be there"
DAY 23: presumed dead
DAY 24: "i'm doing this because i care about you"
DAY 25: waterboarding
DAY 26: "help them"
DAY 27: left for dead
DAY 28: "no... not like this"
DAY 29: not allowed to die
ALTERNATE PROMPTS:
is there a specific day’s prompt you don’t want to fill? here are ten alternatives you can switch them out for!
ALT 1: human shield
ALT 2: "i love you"
ALT 3: found footage
ALT 4: human weapon
ALT 5: cpr
ALT 6: immortality
ALT 7: last words
ALT 8: killing game
ALT 9: lightning strike
ALT 10: last man standing
RULES:
SOFT RULES:
prompts should be answered in the form of whump
creators can produce whatever kind of media they want
you don’t have to complete all the prompts! you can create however much you want to
you can use the prompts after the event ends and can complete them in tandem with any other event
you can post on any platform you want, however this blog will only be sharing those posted on tumblr
if you want to be featured on the hall of fame then you have until the 3rd of March to inform this blog that you completed all the days
if you have questions consult the faq before asking
HARD RULES: (specifically for being featured on the blog)
when uploading febuwhump content to tumblr, please use the tags:
febuwhump (i’ll also be checking febuwhump2024)
the relevant day’s tag e.g. febuwhumpday1, febuwhumpday2…
nsfw (if relevant)
and any trigger warnings that may be important!
you can also tag the blog, @febuwhump
i cannot guarantee your work will be archived on the blog because I have no idea how many participants there will be. a random selection of works tagged in accordance to the rules above will be reblogged every day of february.
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moonstruckme · 5 months ago
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rooomate james. 😭😭 literally obsessed w himm!!
Me too I love him (and you!) sm <3
part 1 │ part 2 │ part 3 │ part 4 │part 5 │ part 6 │ part 7 │ part 8 │ part 9 │ part 10 │ part 11 │ part 12 │ part 13
roommate!James x shy!reader ♡ 808 words
You don’t recognize James’ car until he shouts at you. 
“Hey!” 
You give a little jump, turning midair to find James smiling out the rolled-down window. 
“Want a lift?” 
“God, you scared me!” You backtrack and open the passenger door. The seat looks to have been tidied in a hurry, receipts and takeaway containers tossed into the backseat. “How’d you even know I’d need a ride?” 
James refrains from responding to give you an expectant look. You roll your eyes and buckle your seatbelt. Satisfied, he puts the car in reverse, setting his hand on your seat to look behind him as he backs out of the parking spot. 
“You weren’t home when I got there,” he says, “and then I remembered on Sundays you usually get off at eleven, so here I am. Is Art not with you?” 
“No, he wasn’t working tonight.” 
James doesn’t seem too disappointed by this. He pulls onto the street. You watch him, looking almost unconsciously for signs of wear and tear. 
Now that rugby season is in full swing, he’s gone not just during the day for training but sometimes overnight for away games. You’ve been alone in your apartment for the whole weekend while he played in London and then Bristol. It was weird. You think you’ve accidentally grown used to having James around. You don’t fancy yourself a very tactile person, and the urge to hug him isn’t terribly strong, but it’s there. 
“How was work?” he asks you. 
“It was fine. How were your matches?” 
“They were fine,” he imitates you, grinning. “No, it’s like I said. Winning the second one’s always better than winning the first and losing the second. It’s nice to end on a good note.”
He’d texted continual updates while he was gone. You sat on your couch, pretending to yourself or perhaps to some invisible, judgemental observer that you were watching TV when really you were entirely focused on James’ texts. You imagined him sitting in his hotel room doing the same, or maybe in a pub with his teammates, smiling at his phone each time you responded. 
Your imagination has become terribly overindulgent lately. 
“Honestly, I was pretty disappointed you weren’t home when I got there,” James says, a familiar teasing lilt to his voice. “I was hoping to come in and catch you wearing one of my jumpers and staring tearily at a framed photo of me.” 
You roll your eyes, but your face burns. You did use his shampoo, once. In your defense, you’d run out of yours, but you thought that it wouldn’t be so bad to smell like him, nice and fresh and comforting. It had foamed more than you expected. It did smell really nice, but it made your hair feel dry (boy shampoo always does that, you’ve no idea how James’ curls seem to thrive under such poor treatment) and you felt silly about it for days, lovesick in the most derogatory sense. 
Didn’t stop you from sniffing your hair occasionally, though. 
“You weren’t gone to war,” you reply. “And where would I get a framed photo of you?” 
James looks affronted. “I assumed you already had one. How did you get through the weekend without even a photo? You brave, brave girl.” 
“I actually threw a rager,” you deadpan. “Rented out your room to six people traveling through with the carnival and let them invite over all their friends. Did loads of hard drugs.” 
“Well, we all have different ways of coping.” He reaches over to squeeze your shoulder consolingly. You pretend goosebumps don’t skitter all the way down your arm from the brief touch. “And what a marvelous job you’ve done covering up your escapades!” He exclaims as you pull up in front of the apartment. “I haven’t come across the cocaine dust on our bathroom counter yet, so you must have really done a thorough cleanup.” 
“Keep looking, it’s around there somewhere.” 
James laughs. You’re slower getting out of the car than he is, and by the time you emerge he’s in front of you, pulling you into a hug. You think your bones liquefy. He’s warm and strong and he smells like his shampoo, both arms squishing you heartily before he lets go with a little laugh. 
“Sorry,” he says, bringing his hands to your upper arms, “I didn’t even ask. I just missed you, you know?” James has this look on his face, smile brilliant and eyes wide open. So saccharine sweet you almost can’t look at him. “Guess I got used to having you around.” 
You do your best to smile back. “Yeah, me too.” 
He squeezes your arms before turning to go inside. “You smell like Italian food, too. I don’t suppose you’ve cooked anything recently that’s still in the fridge? I’m beginning to think about second dinner.” 
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feederissssmmmmm · 7 months ago
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In reference to my previous post, heres the gluttony month challenge
This is just a rough draft so recommendations are greatly appreciated!
Month of gluttony
(Feel free to adjust the numbers to make sure the challenge suits you, if the current challenge is too easy, add more, if its too hard eat less, but i do encourage that you only make it easier if you absolutely can’t)
Day 1 add 1000 calories to whatever you eat on a normal day
Day 2 full pizza in one sitting
Day 3 everything you wanna eat, eat double
Day 4 stack a burger as high as you can and add as many fries as can fit on the plate
Day 5 weight gain shake chug
Day 6 4 eggs, 4 pancakes, 4 slices of bacon (or meat alternative)
Day 7 tacobell binge, get AT LEAST 3 items
Day 8 2 liters of soda and a footlong sub
Day 9 grazing day, no big stuffing just continuous snacking, make sure theres always food by your side
Day 10 add 2k calories to what you usually eat
Day 11 do a food challenge at a local restaurant or desert place
Day 12 no turning down food for the day, anyone asks you to eat something, you have to (to make this day best, make sure to let people in these communities know youre doing this challenge)
Day 13 eat 2 pints of ice cream in one sitiing
Day 14 grazing day, no big stuffing just continuous snacking, make sure theres always food by your side
Day 15 add 3k calories to what you usually eat
Day 16 break day, youve worked so hard and the hardest is yet to come, you get one day to eat normally
Day 17 a full pt of pasta for you
Day 18 eat a full cake/pie
Day 19 grazing day, no big stuffing just continuous snacking, make sure theres always food by your side
Day 20 add 4k calories to what you usually eat
Day 21 break day, youve worked so hard and the hardest is yet to come, you get one day to eat normally
Day 22 move as little as possible, lay in bed all day and have your meals brought to you or bring snacks at the beginning of the day
Day 23 go into your local grocery store/gas station with $10 and get the most calories you can out and eat it in one sitting
Day 24 grazing day, no big stuffing just continuous snacking, make sure theres always food by your side
Day 25 add 6k calories to what you usually eat
Day 26 break day, youve worked so hard and the hardest is yet to come, you get one day to eat normally
Day 27 “bulking” a full pot of rice
Day 28 pick 3 fast food restaurants to get a full meal from in one trip
Day 29 a dozen donuts in one sitting
Day 30 10,000 calories in one day
If you’re looking for fun names for this depending on the month you could go with Balloon June, thick thigh july, stuffing september, fatober, and those are all I can think of, I’ll probably try and do it in balloon june or thick thigh july, not sure which 🤔
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#hhhh my body is tired. i couldnt sleep and then my day was upside down and i spent 4hrs transfering algae#i still have 1 work day until i go home. which is to say i will do 2 days of computer work and 1 day of manual labor in the field before i#go home. bc i have to get these fucking manuscripts done#but i guess it was an ok day. it wasnt yesterday where i left the lab by 12 for fear of bursting into tears. sometimes i just cant stand to#work sitting down. its really annoying#but i did have to say goodbye to our visiting phd student today bc she goes back to spain in the new year#which is sad bc shes really cool but she liked to do snail mail so im excited to be pen pals with her#bc ive never done the snail mail thing. shes like 5 to 10 years older than me? like old enough to have fully formed memories of the 90s#hhhh i still have to order Christmas presents. i just. i wish i could stop the present exchange. no body buy me anything so i dont have to#buy u anything. im so tired.#and i still have to make Christmas presents for my parents and sisters. with what time?#ill have to burn away my vacation time for that. hhhh i shoulf just sleep now#but i wont. ill pack bc i might as well while im being unproductive and i wont make time for it later so ya kno#i just wanna be home not doing anything but also i have many things to do and lots of things to prepare before i can do school visits#assuming i get more than one. and oh fuck thats right i still have that last application. tomorrow morning thsts what ill do. god dammit#the 4 hrs of algae transfering was my break and me being unfocused now#just 3 more days and 2 full day of traveling then i can whine at my parents abt how sad i am lol nah ill do that thing where u go#haha yea im in a lot of pain lmao so no one fully takes u seriously even tho ur saying something fucked up#that my mo bc i cant take my pain seriously. part of my brain detaches itself and thinks its all v funny#bleh. brain is goo#unrelated
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yamumsyadadd · 11 days ago
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Sometimes all you need is a little love
At 5, you were loved. Your mum and dad adored you. Everything was about you and your parents.  They worked hard, and in return you got to fulfil your dream of being a footballer. 
At 8, things started to change. Sundays that were usually filled with church in the morning, and Barcelona games in the afternoon slowly started to disappear. 
Your mum and dad were fighting. She was looking frail, unwell, a shell of herself. He looked angry, distant, with marks on his arms, coming home smelling like cigarettes and flowers. It was a weird smell, it would linger in the air for hours to come. 
Gone were the days when they would both come to your football. It was one or the other, sometimes even none of them. 
At 10, you found her. Hanging. You just sat there, watching her. Eventually going to the neighbours you thought you knew. Turns out they moved out and there was a new family. An older lady, Eli. She let you come inside and called for help while distracting you with cookies and her white fluffy dog. 
From that day, things changed. Your father’s love became less and less. His violence and drinking became more. He had a new girlfriend every other month. Barely lasting the entire calendar month. 
By age 12, La Masia came knocking. A full scholarship was on offer. It was your dream. Something you and your parents had worked hard for, together. Expect now it was just you. Forging your dad’s signature, you dropped the forms back off. Transferring to their academy the week later. 
La Masia was hard. Harder than you expect. Maybe it was because things at home were worse than ever before, your dad lost his job, the random woman continued however now there was random men added into it. Home wasn’t a safe place for you or anyone in that case. 
At 14, things hit an all time low, bruises and marks were becoming harder to hide with your promotion to the Barca B team. They were all so close to each other, hanging out after training, getting food or going shopping, their weekends were all spent together. But not with you. As much as they tried you shielded away from it. School and football were the two things that matter - there was no time for anything else, no time to worry about anything else. 
The closest thing you had to a parent was the lady across the hall, every few days there would be a plate of food at the front door when you arrived home. On Sundays it was a bigger meal, you’d divvy it out so it would last a few extra days. The limited money you did have was given to your dad, you’d keep some of it but it wasn’t enough for the bus fare and food. It was one of the other. 
Every morning you would make the one hour trek from your home in Mollet del Vallès, using that time to do your homework, study plays or rewatch games, sometimes even catching a few more minutes of sleep. Every evening, after training you’d stay and help pack away the equipment, sometime just relishing in the warmth of the facility, the endless hot water, the feeling of safety. 
One night, after missing the last bus, you hide in a supply closet. Knowing there was no way you’d get home that night, you huddled around the spare clothes and clean towels. It oddly was one of the best sleeps you’d had in years. The constant security that would walk around the facility made you feel safe. 
After that initial night, there were many more nights of sleeping at the facility. Was it the best idea? Probably not, but it was the safest, and the warmest. 
15 was when things really changed. At some point, your dad just stopped coming home. He’d be gone for days at a time. This time though, he was gone for almost three weeks. You bloomed in the silence. The apartment was clean, airy, in contrast to the dark, stuffy air that usually resides. 
On Christmas Eve things came to ahead. There wasn’t much food left. A few eggs, some bread and some cereal. No milk, vegetables or anything fresh. Biting the bullet, you made your way across the hall to the older ladies door. She had told you before that if you needed anything, to just knock. So you did, rocking back and forth on your heels, you were shocked when the door swung open and none other than Alexia Putellas, captain of the Barcelona Women’s team, 2 time Ballon D’Or winner, was standing there with a smile on her face. 
“Hola pequeña, are you ok?”
“Oh, um, hola? Is Eli here?” 
“Si, come in.” You stood there for a moment, staring at her, “mami a pequeña is here for you!” Eli, the nice, caring older woman was Alexia Putellas mother. Of course she was. 
“Neña! To what do I owe this visit?” 
“I am very sorry to interrupt and be rude, but I was wondering if you had any milk I could please have? My papi has gone away for a bit and forgot to leave some money.” 
“You’re alone? You’re no older than 16?” A smaller but almost identical person chimed in. 
“Si. I am 15”. A shy nod was all you could muster, the energy you previously had disappeared. 
“Well where did he go? Are you alone for Christmas?” 
“Uh, um a work trip? Si, si, a work trip! He will be back at some point, I’m sure.” It was a lie, a terrible horrible lie and everyone in that room knew. All three older women shared a look. 
“Here is some milk Nena. Do you want to stay for dinner?” 
“No no that’s okay. Thank you for the milk, I will give you money when I get some!” 
“Nonsense dear. It’s just milk.” 
Silently you grabbed the milk and started to walk towards the door, leaving the three women staring at you. Eli’s eyes expressed sadness, Alexia’s were confused, she knew you from somewhere but she couldn’t place it, Alba was bewildered, she remembered being 15 and there was no way in hell that Eli would’ve left her home alone, but especially not over the holiday period. 
“She is a good girl. She studies hard, she’s at La Masia. Always very polite but something is off in the house.” 
Alexia’s head whipped around, “she’s at the academy?” Eli nodded, “how does she get there? it’s a 40 minute drive and she’s not old enough?” 
“I don’t know Alexia, tonight was the most she’s spoken to me since she came asking for the ambulance when her mami died.” 
“That was her?” A nod was all alexia received. For the rest of the night they were all silent, you went to bed with a small amount of food in your stomach. The 8 pieces of French toast were enough to get you through until the farmers market opened on the 26th. 
A dread washed over you the following afternoon when there was a knock at the front door. Opening it slowly, and only half showing your face, Alexia and Alba (you learnt her name after googling Alexia), were standing there. 
“Hola pequeña. Mami asked if you and your papi wanted to join us for dinner?” Alexia voice was firm, almost as if there wasn’t room for you to say no. 
“Um, sure. My papi isn’t back yet, but what time does she want us?” 
“Now-“
“An hour-“ both girls spoke at the same time. Alba wanting to give you time to do whatever you needed, but alexia wanted you father to show himself. Unbeknownst to you, she had reached out to the La Masia staff and a few of the younger girls. 
Vicky and Martina had told her the little information that they knew. You were young, talented and a hard worker. You’d catch the bus to and from training, never really talking to anyone and certainly never hanging out with them. They’d offered to help you with your homework, Vicky realising very quickly that you were both in the same grade despite you being two years younger. Both Vicky and Martina felt that there was something off, never seeing your father or anyone supporting you at games, not even at the international friendly with the under 17s that you’d been called up too. 
“Okay? How about half an hour?” 
“That works. See you soon pequeña!” Alba grabbed her older sisters arm, pulling her away from the door. You slid down the back of yours once it was firmly closed. You needed to think of the perfect lie. Maybe you could say he was too tired, or stuck in traffic. No that wouldn’t work, if he was stuck in traffic they’d wait. The truth wasn’t an option. There’s no way you could just blurt out that you didn’t know where he was. 
The dinner was uncomfortable, the food was delicious but the unasked questions were making a lot of tension. You didn’t miss the way Alba and Eli continued to glance at you, or how their eyes went wide when you asked for more. This definitely cemented that something was wrong. 
The loud clattering of Alexia’s fork and knife, stopped you from shoveling more food in your mouth. 
“This is ridiculous. Pequeña, where is your papi?” 
“Don’t know.” You spoke nonchalantly, putting more food into your mouth. Confused looks where thrown around. Eli’s head slowly reaching for yours and taking the fork, “sweetheart, what do you mean you don’t know?” 
“I don’t know. He could be stuck at work, or in traffic or asleep.” I shrugged. It was a semi decent lie. 
“Does he leave for long periods often?” 
“No. It’s usually just a few days.” 
“Where does he go?” 
To get high, to fuck hookers, to steal, “work trips.” 
Thankfully the subject was dropped as Eli gave you back your fork. It didn’t feel like Christmas, no gifts were exchanged, no decorations or Christmas movies. It felt like a Sunday after church, all that was left was a trip to Camp Nou to watch a game but that wasn’t going to happen. Not now, not ever again. 
Eli sent you home when a lot of leftovers, ignoring the comments from her own two daughters that they would’ve liked to have some too. It was enough food for at least a month. You’d eaten plenty at dinner so the need for food tomorrow would be less. 
The following week was a blur. There was only two training sessions and school was off until after the New Year. Your father had yet to make a reappearance and due to the holidays, you were hiding in the house so you wouldn’t have to see any three of the Putellas women and answer questions. 
It worked, for three weeks, until the night you had planned to sleep in the same storage room as usual. Alexia appeared, fresh out of the shower. 
“Pequeña? What are you still doing here? It’s late.” 
“I lost track of time. I was studying.” 
“How are you getting home? Is your papi coming?” 
“No. I’m catching the bus.” You felt guilty lying to her, but it was the best option. No one would get hurt this way. 
“Let me drive you home. It’s late and you really shouldn’t be catching the bus.” 
Before you could argued, she’d grabbed the straps of your bag, dragging it and you along to her car. It was an awkward 40 minutes. Her car was much more comfortable than the bus, warmer and safer. You were still on high alert, especially when she was asking you questions. 
For the past five years you didn’t let anyone get close. It was easier that way. You didn’t have to explain the tiredness that was evident on your face, the random bruises that happened, the obvious weightless from the lack of food. 
From that moment on you silently agreed to keep everyone further way. You had to be more careful, no more roaming the halls after training. No more asking Eli for milk, or bread, or anything. Leaving extra early in the morning or as soon as training ended. No more being vulnerable. 
The day of your 16th birthday was supposed to be a good one. However your father had other plans. You’d been training with the senior team due to some injuries and then needing players, Jona had told you last night he would play you after halftime. A senior debut on your 16th birthday. 
That night you’d come home so incredibly happy only for it to come crashing down when your extremely intoxicated father decided to start a fight over the lack of money. He didn’t stop hitting you for what felt like hours. You weren’t sure if you passed out from the pain or from the exhaustion but you knew the following day it would be hell. 
The house was littered with used needles, smashed and empty bottles, and it smelt of cigarettes and stale booze. Your arms and legs were covered in bruises as well as a shiner on your face. That one would be the hardest to cover. it took an hour and large amount of makeup before you were confident about leaving the house. The bruise was mostly covered. You didn’t think it was that obvious though. The looks you received on the bus, and even as you walked through the halls, didn’t make you question your makeup job. 
True to his word, jona put you on in the 75th minute, subbing Salma off. It was electrifying, a rush you’d never felt before. Then game ended with a win, of course, there was a lot of praise from the older girls. Mario was incredibly impressed and offered to work with you more if you were interested. Something you immediately said yes too. Your bubble was burst when Alexia came over to tell her Eli was there and wanted to see you. 
The moment you were within arms reach of Eli, she could tell something was wrong. So could Alexia’s girlfriend, Olga, who she had just introduced you too. After chatting a bit more, Eli demanded she would take you home, making you hurry to gather your belongings in the locker room, forgoing a shower as you didn’t bring makeup to re-cover the bruise on your face. 
“Olga you need to help her with makeup.” Alba joked before hugging her sister goodbye. Olga and Eli shared a concerned looked. 
“Why is she wearing make up?” 
“Mami she’s 16. Teenagers wear makeup all the time. It doesn’t mean anything.” Eli shook her head, there was something wrong but she didn’t know what or how to ask you. 
“Ale, keep an eye on her yeah?”
“Olga she’s fine. She’s just a teenager.” Olga’s eyes pleaded with her, “si fine. I will watch over her.” 
Two weeks later things came crashing down horribly. You’d been moved into the senior squad officially, that came with perks. More money was the main one. It would only be a few months until you’d officially graduate high school, that meant you could pick up a part time job as well as football. What you didn’t account for was your father. 
When you walked in the door you were greeted with a random lady and a little boy, no older than 3, your father was very quickly shoving things into boxes and taping them up. 
“What’s going on?” Neither of the adults spared a glance at you. 
“I’m leaving. Thea and I are moving to Madrid.” 
“I can’t leave papi! The season is still going and i haven’t finished school yet!” 
“Good thing you weren’t invited then.” The last scoffed, flipping her son to the other hip. Your eyes were wide. Not believing what you were hearing. 
“Tomorrow, the moving truck will be here. You need to be gone by then.” 
“Wait! Where will I go? You can’t leave me here!” You yelled after them as they left the apartment. No longer caring who heard or who saw. 
“You’re not my problem anymore. I couldn’t care less about what you do or don’t do.” He turned to leave, “you could do the world a favour and hang yourself like your mother did.” With that he was gone. The apartment was mostly empty. 
You found the two biggest bags that you could carry. Filling one with all your football stuff, the other with you clothes, the few jumpers of your mothers that you had left, a sleeping bag and pillow. In your school backpack you packed your laptop and all the school work, plus your important documents (birth certificate, photo IDs, passport.) 
Though you had no idea where you would go, you knew you’d figure it out. What you didn’t account for was Eli. of course she would notice the moving vans, and the lack of you. 
Every second night you’d leave the training facility, set on finding somewhere that was semi safe to sleep. Even though it was the start of February, you knew the beach would be ok. There was enough light to keep you safe, you also had a little knife you stole from your father along time ago. 
The last morning before it all went to shit, you were sitting with your bags, still in your sleeping bag, watching the sunrise. Barcelona was quiet at this time of the morning. A few runners or cyclists around but other than that it was peaceful. 
“Pequeña? What are you doing here so early?” A semi familiar face dropped in front of you, startling you out of your thoughts. Unable to talk, you just stared at her. “I’m Olga, Alexia’s girlfriend. We met a couple of weeks ago. Do you remember?” 
I nodded, she continued on, “what are you doing here? Did you sleep here?”
“What? No! No I just like coming here in the mornings!” I hurried to get up, quickly shoving my things back into my bags, that’s when the knife dropped on the sand, right in front of Olga. We both stopped and stared at it. 
“Pequeña-“
“I better go. Enjoy your day.” I quickly picked it up and all but ran towards the bus stop. My thoughts were spiralling. She was going to tell Alexia. I wouldn’t be allowed to play, I’d be sent away somewhere else. 
Training was hell. No matter how much you tried to avoid Irene, Marta or Alexia they always appeared. It didn’t seem that Olga had told Alexia or that anyone else knew but it was only a matter of time. All you needed was a few weeks, just to get through the Copa de la Reina final and then you could figure it out. 
Thankfully the week went fast and the game on the weekend was a success. There were no more run ins with Olga, or any of the captains of the team. You went as far to complete ignore Eli, Alba and Olga after the game. Quickly running into the locker room and showering before anyone else. 
It was harder to hide in the facility after home games. It was busy with trainers, medical staff, admin staff, basically everyone but you figured it out. It was a restless sleep, the close call with Olga playing in your mind on repeat. 
Unbeknownst to you, Eli had mentioned it to Alexia at their usual family dinner post match. 
“Nena moved.” 
“To where?” Both Alba and Alexia’s head shot up. 
“I don’t know. She didn’t say anything. I heard her papi say Madrid. I’m assuming she isn’t joining since she’s still playing here.” 
“I’ll find out.” Olga knew in that moment she needed to come clean about finding you on the beach. Clearly you didn’t have somewhere safe to stay. Later that night, when it was just her and Alexia cuddled in their bed she did just that. 
“I saw Nena at the beach the other morning.” 
“Likely place for her to be. She has mentioned loving the beach in the past.” Alexia dismissed what Olga was saying, not particularly understanding why that was important. 
“No ale. I think she slept there. She had a sleeping bag and heaps of stuff.” 
Silence encapsulated the couple. “I’ll deal with it.” was all the captain said before rolling over and going to sleep. Expect, she didn’t sleep. She played through every interaction she’d had with you, every imagine of you in her mind. You looked tired, the light behind your eyes was gone, you had fully retreated back into your shell, barely talking at training or games, only answering questions when directly asked. 
Something was definitely wrong, very very wrong. Enlisting the help of Irene and Marta and Olga, they would find out exactly how wrong it was. 
It was evident when you came into training that you hadn’t slept, the truth was that the beach no longer felt safe. Not after that creepy man was watching you. Staying at the facility every night wasn’t an option, neither was staying with a teammate. So you stay at the train station all night. It was relatively safe, but the thought of that man kept you awake. 
You’d gotten half way through the day when you snapped. Usually you’d try and stick to Caro or Keira’s sides. Caro because she was quiet and Keira because she couldn’t exactly understand you and you couldn’t understand her. Unfortunately the gym groups were assigned differently today, meaning you got stuck with Mapi, Pina, Patri and Cata. The group of people you hated being around the most. There was never a quiet moment, they were always loud. So incredibly loud. 
It was after Mapi had ruffled your hair for the third time that you mumbled for her to stop. 
“We can’t hear you gallina. Speak up.” Patri laughed. 
“I said, don’t touch me. And don’t call me gallina.” Your patience was thinning, and fast. 
“Cheer up gallina. We are just playing.” Mapi went to ruffle your hair again, your hands landing on her chest and shoving her back into Cata. 
“I said don’t fucking touch me Maria!” Everyone stopped, turning in horror to see the scene unfold. Tears welled in your eyes, you bolted as fast as you could. 
“Nena-“ Ingrid tried to grab your wrists but you dodged her. 
Alexia, Irene and Marta all stopped what they were doing. It was extremely unlike you to be so aggressive and rude. No matter how shy you were, you always used your manners. They all shared a look before following you to the locker room. 
You rushed through the locker room trying to get your bags packed as fast as possible. You had no idea where you would go, but you needed to get out of here. Far away from the sympathetic looks of your teammates. You were so far in your own head that you didn’t hear the cleats on the floor or the door to the locker opening. 
“Nena? What’s wrong?” Irene’s hand on your shoulder startled you. 
“Nothing I’m fine. I need to go.” You shrugged her hand off you, putting your backpack on and grabbing your duffle that contained your pillow and sleeping bag. 
“Please let us help Nena. We want to help you but we can’t if you don’t let us.” Marta spoke up next, as you looked up you saw that Alexia was standing between you and the door, the only route out of the locker room. 
“Please move. I want to go home.” 
“Home? Where is that Nena? It’s not in Mollet del Vallès. I know that much.” 
You squeezed your eyes shut and took a deep breath, yelling at your captains was a horrible idea, truly horrible. Even in this mental state you knew that, “I do not want to be rude Alexia, but it’s none of your business. I come here, I train, I play, I do as I am told, I don’t make trouble or do anything wrong. Please let me leave.” 
Alexia looked troubled. You needed help, that much was clear, but you were right. You did everything that was asked of you, never complaining or whining about it. She looked to Irene for help, Irene simply nodded and alexia moved. 
“If you need help, somewhere to stay, you have my address and you know where Mami is.” 
A curt nod was all she received and then you were gone. As fast as you could walk without causing any attention to yourself. You spent the next few hours walking around. When it was dark and late, the train station was where you headed. It wasn’t until you were comfy that you realised you grabbed the wrong bag. You left your sleeping bag and more importantly your phone charger at the training facility. There wasn’t much that could be done now, you just had to wait it out. 
As you walked into training, you could feel everyone’s eyes on you. You were late, never have you been late before. The lack of proper sleep, nutrition and your body always on high alert was getting to you. By the end of training you were exhausted. Barely having the energy to walk into the locker rooms to shower. Usually when someone was late without giving a proper warning, they’d run laps. No one told you to run laps so you didn’t. 
A few days later, at the beach, Olga saw you again. This time you looked worse than before. She made her way to a local bakery, getting water, coffee and something for you to eat before making her way back towards you and hoping you wouldn’t run off. 
“¿Niña? Can I sit with you?” She startled you, that much was obvious but you nodded and she handed over everything she bought. 
“Why are you here?” 
“I like the beach.” 
“You’re sleeping here?” She could tell you were scared, it took a while for you to reply. 
“Only sometimes.” 
Olga nodded, the silence settling over the both of you. “Let me take you to training?” 
The drive seem to take forever. It was uncomfortable, Olga wanted to get more information out of you, you wanted nothing more then to be swallowed into a black hole. 
“Niña? If you don’t have anywhere safe and warm to stay, please come to mine and Ale’s? We won’t be mad, or disappointed. We want to help you. Okay?” 
You gave her a small nod, moving to wipe your tears and get out of the car. Unbeknownst to the both of you, Alexia was in her own car a few metres away watching the whole thing. 
It took a day for Alexia to coax all the information out of Olga but when she finally did, she was heartbroken. The thing she had hoped wasn’t true, was in fact true. You were living on the street. Sleeping wherever you could, your papi had left you to fend for yourself. It’s not that you were doing a horrible job at it, but it was obvious you weren’t eating or sleeping enough. 
The night of the El Classico is when things went truly horrible. Alexia had told Irene, Mapi and Marta what had happened but any time they tried to talk to you, you literally ran away.
The streets of Barcelona were well and truly alive. The Madrid fans had left the Johan feeling annoyed, angry and disappointed. Anyone would when their team lost 7-0. It probably wasn’t the smartest idea to sleep on the beach that night, but there truly wasn’t anywhere else. The train station would’ve been worse, the facility wouldn’t be quiet until after midnight, and there was no way you’d go to a teammates house. 
You’d only just drifted to sleep when you heard the group of guys approaching. They were drunk, that much was obvious. Pretty quickly you woke yourself up, but you didn’t dare to move. Maybe they would just keep walking. Your back was facing the sea, and them but as soon as they laid their hands on you, you turned around. 
“Oye, it’s the Barca puta.”
“You’re the reason we lost.”
“We should break her legs!” 
The fear set it. As soon as the hits started, they ended. Not only had they assaulted you, but they had stolen your school bag that contained your laptop, water bottle and phone charger. It look a while for the pain to become tolerable. you could recognise that you were bleeding, your ribs hurt, along with your arm, head and leg. You were scared and alone. 
Abandoning the beach, you made your way to the one place you could think of. The two women who had urged you time and time again to let them help you, you had refused but right now you needed it more than anything. With the help of your phone maps, you managed to get to their apartment. It took a lot longer than it should have, having to stop every now and then to take deep breaths when the pain was too bad. 
You weakly raised your fist to the door, the energy was zapped out of you. It felt like forever before someone answered. 
“Hol- holy fuck. Alexia! Come here neña. Let me help you. ALEXIA!” Olga answered the door, annoyed that someone was knocking so late at night. The minute she opened it, she wanted to cry. You were stood there, bloodied and bruised. Seemingly out of it, looking so small and frightened. 
She starting leading you to the kitchen when alexia finally came, “what? Oh my god, pequena! What happened?” 
“Hurt.”
“Where hurts neña?”
“Head bleeding… arm broken, I think… maybe ribs… leg too. Stole my school bag.” Alexia was freaking out, the usual calm, stoic captain was on the verge of tears. 
“We need to call the police Olga! And mami and Irene and-“
“Ale stop. Neña, drink this yes? Alexia is going to get the first aid from the bathroom and we are going to clean you up. We will need to take you to the hospital, but that can wait for a few minutes.” She gave alexia a pointed look while she opened the water bottle and helped you drink. 
Their apartment was soft. Very homey and not clinical like you imagined. There were photos of Alexia and her family, Olga and hers, then of them both. There were plants scattered around, a few awards here and there but not many, the one thing that seemed out of place was the dog bed and toys. 
“Dog?” Olga’s eyes followed yours, confused as to what you were asking. 
“Nala. She died last year but we haven’t been able to get rid of her things.”
“Sorry”. Alexia arrived back with the first aid kit, phone to her ear and a lot less panicked but a lot more mad. that stressed you out, Olga picking up on it straight away. Things moved fast from that point. Alexia and Olga cleaned you up the best they could but ultimately decided that you needed the hospital. It was all a blur. One minute you were in their apartment, the next you were in a hospital gown sitting in a room. 
Alexia was non stop pacing, you sat there, wide eyed waiting for her to say something.��
“You can say it.” You whispered. 
Both girls stopped and looked at you confused, “say what pequena?” 
“I told you so’ or ‘you should’ve let me help’, whatever you have planned just say it.” You could no longer look at them, staring down at the floor. You missed the look of heartbreak sweep across both their faces. 
“No no pequena. This isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault. There’s no ‘I told you so’ to be said. You came to use when you needed help, we are here now to help that’s all that matters. Okay?” Alexia slowly reached out to wipe the tears from your face. 
“I’m sorry.” That was it. All three of you were holding each other crying. Time seemed to blend into one second. You got stitches in your eyebrow and on your leg, your arm was in fact broken and a cast was put on. The doctor seemed to talk and talk, none of the words making any sense. It was until you saw the two police officers standing outside that you seemed to snap out of it. 
The doctor left the room, seemingly to talk to the police officers and give them a run down. Olga noticed how on edge you were very quickly. 
“Hey, neña, they are only here to ask what happened okay? You aren’t in any trouble.” 
You stood up quickly, grabbing the bag with your blood stained clothes, “no I need to go. This was a mistake.” 
“Go where pequena?” 
“They are going to take me away! I don’t have anywhere to live Alexia! Papi left. He got rid of the house. Mami is dead. I have no where so I’m going to leave before they can take me.” 
“Neña no.” Olga moved to block the door. She is small. You could take her, you thought. “You’re staying with us. They aren’t going to take you because you have a home, with us. You will stay as long as needed.” 
Alexia and Olga hadn’t exactly had the conversation about it, but they both seemed to be able to read each other’s minds. They were going to take care of you, love you like your parents should have. Sure you’re 16, almost an adult. But everyone needs a parental figure, no matter the age. 
“No. You two have your own life, I’m not your responsibility. I can take care of myself, I have been for years.” 
“But you can’t neña. You can’t get an apartment, or a phone plan, or your drivers licence. If you’ll let us, we will take care of you.” You were considering it, really considering it. Having a proper bed, proper meals, somewhere safe? It sounded like heaven. 
“It won’t be easy pequena, it’ll be hard. For all of us. We’ll have to learn to trust each other, and learn how to live with each other but it’ll be worth it. You can decorate the room however you want, we will buy you whatever you need.” 
Before the could continue, the police came in. It took a while to answer all their questions. You could see Alexia and Olga holding hands tightly, wincing slightly when you go into detail. 
“What about my school bag? It has all my school stuff and my laptop?” 
“We will look for it, but there’s no promises it’ll be found. Do you have somewhere safe to stay?” 
“With Alexia and Olga.” You could visibly feel the tension leave both the women. The officers asked Alexia and Olga to step out with them to talk, you took a few moments to gather your thoughts. How had things changed so much. You were just a kid, yet you were forced to look after yourself like you were an adult. You wanted to be vulnerable, to have someone take care of you. Sometimes all we need is a little love. 
Maybe in time, things would get better. 
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minniesmutt · 2 months ago
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☾ ━━━━━━ 2024 KINKTOBER
☾ ━━━━━━ 31 days of smut is here!
☾ ━━━━━━ taglist is closed
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DAY 1: BANG CHAN - THE SUMMONING: DEMON!CHAN X HUMAN! READER
DAY 2: LEE KNOW - HOME USE: DILF!LEE KNOW X HOUSEWIFE! READER
DAY 3: CHANGBIN - SEASON: WEREWOLF (ALPHA)! CHANGBIN X WEREWOLF (OMEGA)! READER
DAY 4: HYUNJIN - ALL OR NOTHING: FUCK OR DIE TROPE
DAY 5: CHANIN - HE WON’T KNOW: BROTHERS BEST FRIEND!CHANIN X READER
DAY 6: HAN - INSOMNIAC OR VAMPIRE: VAMPIRE!HAN X HUMAN!READER
DAY 7: FELIX - VEIL: FAE!FELIX X HUMAN! READER
DAY 8: SEUNGMIN - QUIET SEAS: CAPTAIN! SEUNGMIN X SIREN!READER
DAY 9: IN - ALWAYS MINE: EX!I.N X READER
DAY 10: MINSUNG - SERVE: PRINCE!MINSUNG X MAID!READER
DAY 11: BANG CHAN - BUSINESS & PLEASURE: CEO/WEREWOLF! CHAN X READER
DAY 12: LEE KNOW - FALL HARVEST: ROYAL!LEE KNOW X ROYAL!READER
DAY 13: CHANGBIN - LET ME: SWITCH!CHANGBIN X READER
DAY 14: HYUNJIN - FIGHT: VAMPIRE!HYUNJIN X VAMPIRE!READER
DAY 15: HYUNBIN - MUSE: ARTIST!HYUNJIN X HOSTAGE!READER X PHOTOGRAPHERCHANGBIN
DAY 16: HAN - MR. POPULAR & MISS LONELY: PERPETUALLY SINGLE!READER X POPULAR!HAN
DAY 17: FELIX - PUPPY LOVE: WEREWOLF!FELIX X HUMAN!READER
DAY 18: SEUNGMIN - GO CRY: HARD DOM!SEUNGMIN X BABY GIRL!READER
DAY 19!: IN - BREED: FOX!I.N X BUNNY!READER
DAY 20: SEUNGLIX - YOU CAN’T RUN: GHOSTFACE!SEUNGLIX X READER
DAY 21: BANG CHAN - DADDY'S TURN: HIM USING YOUR TOYS ON YOU
DAY 22: LEE KNOW - AUTUMN FEVER: MAFIA!LEE KNOW X INNOCENT!READER
DAY 23: CHANGBIN - DON’T BE LIKE THAT: SOFT DOM!CHANGBIN X BRAT!READER
DAY 24: HYUNJIN - HANG UP: GHOST FACE!HYUNJIN X READER
DAY 25: HYUNG LINE - PLAYTHING PRT 1: VAMPIRE!SKZ X READER
DAY 26: HAN - ONE MORE: INSATIBLE!HAN X READER
DAY 27: FELIX - DON’T FORGET: POSSESSIVE DOM!FELIX X READER
DAY 28: MAKNAE LINE - PLAYTHING PRT 2: VAMPIRE!SKZ X READER
DAY 29: SEUNGMIN - RUN PRETTY: VAMPIRE!SEUNGMIN X HUMAN!READER
DAY 30: IN - GRAVEYARD: NEECROMANCER!I.N X READER
DAY 31: OT8 - FULL MOON: WEREWOLF!OT8 X OMEGA!READER
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© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE
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harmoonix · 11 months ago
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🦁𝙃𝙖𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖 𝙈𝙖𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙖🦁
(Astrology Observations)
𓃭~ 𝕫𝕚𝕞𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕨𝕖 ~𓃭
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❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
❂ 𝕴𝖙'𝖘 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖎𝖗𝖈𝖑𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖊 ❂
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☀️ Leo Placements especially Sun/Moon/Rising/Venus have a shining face/body in general their skin shines a lot and is good because it indicates healthy skin, they may also have a very complex beauty like you need to stare at them for a bit to just admire their beauty
☀️ 5°, 17°, and the 29th° degrees indicate fame and recognition, sometimes getting a lot of attention, on the sun/ascendant/midhaven can give those things (Jupiter in those degrees extends the beauty of the native)
☀️Juno in Fire Signs love with a passion and need a passionate relationship/partner, they're very fierce and need to feel loved at fullest
☀️ Aquarius/Virgo Moon/Rising/Mercury are so analytical, they will analyze everything about a person like their eyes/face/clothes/body/behavior etc.. 😲😲
☀️ Scorpio Venus/Mars/Rising/Juno can definitely experience getting or having jealous partners, (or possesive) their partners can be clingy as well
☀️ Venus in your 7th house is in perfect harmony/will attract a lot of love/partners/harmony in their relationships and full of blessings
☀️ North Node aspecting Sun/Pluto/Saturn/Chiron literally gives the vibe of Lion King because of "Circle of life", like to experience things and to evolve and going from different circles of life to another
❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
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☀️Mercury/Moon in Pisces or at Pisces Degrees (12°, 24°) have a serene/peaceful voice, I know so many people with both Pisces Mercury & Moon they are having such a calm sweet voice ❣️
☀️Try to analyze your ruler planet persona chart to discover more things about yourself, if you have 2 ruler planets look at both persona chart, if you have Leo Rising your own chart is the sun natal chart ❣️
☀️Pluto aspecting the ascendant natives are not only mesmerizing but they're full of evolution as well, you'll learn so many things if you have someone with those aspects beside you, they can teach you/make you evolve with them
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From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
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☀️ Don't forget that the house you have Pisces in is also ruled by the Jupiter not only by Neptune, in traditional astrology Pisces is ruled by Jupiter
☀️ Sun in Leo/Leo in the 8th house have such a magnetic energy, they're like a gemstone 💎 shinning and full of mystery in the same time
☀️ Gemini Placements esp Rising and Mars are captivating people, these natives are always having the best stories to share, they're also very communicative and open to everything
☀️ Leo/Libra/Taurus/Pisces Moons know how to give themselves and others a love treatment, I know so many of them cheering others up to make them feel better and happy
❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
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❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
☀️ I admire 9th house placements for their love for travelling and seeing the worlds beautiful nature, they're also outgoing from young ages and that makes them to be wild and free when they grow up
☀️ 10°, 22° are hardworking degrees, on midhaven/sun/ascendant give the vibe of a hardworking person, also shows a lot of influence upon others
☀️ 11° 23° degrees are influential degrees, on Venus these degrees can influence others based on the beauty or their fashion style/ on the midhaven influence about their work or career/on Mercury influencing about their voice/speech
☀️ Sagittarius/Aries and Gemini Degrees usually are the people talk very fast in a conversation and at the end the people can end up like "Sorry can you repeat again"
☀️ Chiron in the 4th/6th/12th houses natives may like to stay alone for a bit to relax or to calm themselves, they really need peace of mind
☀️ Sun/Mars in the 10th house shows someone who is focusing a lot on their work/job/career and its very confident about it, they may also stay over the program or overworking to put more on themselves
☀️ Venus aspecting the north node has a very beautiful journey in life, to learn how to love themselves and how to be loved, to learn what healthy and true love feels like (all aspects)
☀️ Ascendant aspecting the Moon are having a specific beauty, some of them may have big sparkling eyes, maybe oval face, beautiful smile
❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
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❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
☀️ Lilith Leo/Lilith in the 5th house or Lilith aspecting Sun can feel unseen/unloved at times or they can feel people like people don't give them the attention they deserve, and is not like that, I know there is someone who loves you for who you are ❣️❣️❣️
☀️ Moon/Venus and North Node in the 3rd house create a very beautiful connection with their siblings (if they have) and a harmonious relationships
☀️ Pluto in the 2nd house has a transformative energy towards their value and worth, because you have to realize that you're worth it and you deserve the best
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There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round
──────────────────────
☀️ Mercury/Jupiter/ Venus & Sun in the 11th house create wonderful friendships, their friends can be everything for some of these natives and be a blessing in their lives ❣️
☀️ Jupiter aspecting the Sun/Moon or Ascendant can make the native extremely optimistic and lucky, they are having a good vibe and love to see/make other people happy with their presence
☀️ Aries Moon/Rising/Venus/Sun can be clingy/possesive and over protective it kills me sometimes how underatted these placements are when it comes to those things
☀️Mars in Earth Signs feels so full with responsibiliies at times, Mars struggles and loves it here in the same time, it gives them an bossy aura or energy too
☀️ Mars/Jupiter/Saturn/Pluto in the 1st house natives usually have a lot of body strength, they can work in gym or maybe having a muscle body or a good fit and still be strong
❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
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❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
☀️ Neptune in the 1st house natives are having a great connection with their subconscious or spiritual world. These natives are highly spiritual and easily connect with their subconscious mind/soul
☀️ Neptune at 1°, 13° and 25th° degrees usually have a lot of energy and easily can get overstimulated, they be doing more things at once and hate it when it gets boring
☀️ Lilith aspecting Mars can be the ultimate femme fatale energy let me tell you how tricky this placement is cus it makes people to hate and love you in the same time (to hate you I mean some people may just not like you and because Mars is a male planet those people can be men at times)
☀️ Uranus/Sun aspecting Mars can bless the native with a lot of body motion,they can be good at dancing in general things that have to do with body movement
☀️ Uranus aspecting Sun is a vibe I swear, I love their energy they're like "C'mon let's do this thing I'm so excited for it" and the next minute they be coming with another idea and another ✨ innovative✨
☀️ Dark Lilith (58) in the 8th/12th house for in Scorpio/Pisces the native has surreal energy, not gonna lie we talk about dark lilith here these so it manifest with rage/intensity/mystery and even hypnotic vibes at times
☀️ If you have your ascendant not aspecting that many planets in your chart or an empty ascendant you'll have an easy time with discovering yourself and feeling like yourself
☀️ Having an empty 7th house is actually beneficial because long terms relationships will come easier for you with this house being empty
❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
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❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
☀️ Capricorn Placements are known for being hardworking and respected in their environments but I cannot stand the fact when someone calls them cold or mean or idk what other things because I rarely met Capricorns like that, I say this as a Capricorn Myself 🐐♑
☀️ Uranus aspecting Venus natives can manifest in 2 categories as, wanting or having multiple crushes or people that you like or find attractive or being confused in their love life (omg sometimes indicating love triangles forgot that)
──────────────────────
It's the circle of life❂
❂And it moves us all
Through despair and hope❂
❂Through faith and love
──────────────────────
☀️Sun or Moon in the 9th house or in Sagittarius can have a passion about writing ✍🏼 like in their diaries or maybe writing books/mini stories
☀️ Pluto in Scorpio Generation was meant to bring back things that were classified by people as "taboo/forbidden" how many celebrities during the Pluto in Scorpio Generation were called bad names because they were bringing such things back...😨😨
☀️ Ascendant sextile or semi - sextile the sun has an easily likeable energy, a lot of people can like them because of their personality and aura
❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
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❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
☀️ Whenever I say "aspecting" in my observations I also mean the "parallels and contra parallels" and even the "minor aspects" like "quintile/Bi-quintile/semi-sextile/semi-square etc...
☀️ "Quintile" aspects are very beneficial idk why so many people consider them minor aspects they're pretty powerful in the chart
☀️ Aries and in general a lot of fire placements in the chart shows a hot temper, someone who gets easily angered or annoyed but not like in a crazy way
☀️ Juno asteroid code (3) in Pisces or Pisces Degrees (12°, 24°) have a special bounding, maybe love at first sight?? Falling in love quickly too and sometimes shy in love
☀️Juno asteroid code (3) in Capricorn or in Capricorn Degrees (10°, 22°) most natives have a long lasting relationships, respectful placements, even successful and hardworking partners
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𓃭Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhm ingonyama𓃭
──────────────────────
❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
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──────────────────────
𓃭Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhm ingonyama𓃭
──────────────────────
❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂𓃭•°•°❂
☀️ I remember vividly that last year on the same day I posted some Venus notes observations, for this year I wanted the theme to be different and I choose my favorite Disney movie: The Lion King (The movie from 2019 had me crying on me knees), the native language,the storyline, THE MUSIC OFC and the flora/fauna & overall the sub-saharan Africa is wonderful and beautiful, and because it happens to be my birthday in the same day I wanted to make this post in time 🥳☀️ The funny thing is that finally now I can check that solar return chart for the new year 2024 🥳
☀️ I hope you all have an amazing day full of love, blessings, a good vibe/energy and just do the things you love and that make you happy ☀️
H a r m o o n i x 4/2024
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