#dogwatching

[rollo-o-rollo]

The boys are being watchful together 👀👌

Weathers so nice out we gotta open all them windows

[squeakoid]

who left pancake here

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

I am at a dog surfing contest rn this is the best

[hyrtwynwrites]

Okay, I have a story about this

I was in a physics class maybe... six years ago, now? And we're giving little presentations every couple of classes about little science things we find particularly interesting, because my professor was a really cool dude and damn passionate too (he also literally looked like Einstein, I kid you not)

One day, a classmate goes up and starts talking about the relatively recent spat of phones exploding, and he shows a couple of pictures of what you see above: Batteries bloating as the chemicals inside them grow increasingly unstable. As the guy is talking, a strange look begins to spread over the professor's face, and suddenly he just steps out of the room

A minute later, he comes back in with a box, I mean a full to the brim box, and says "these have been sitting back there for months, we didn't know what to do with them."

It is full of batteries that are all stretched and bloated. We had the world's largest phone bomb just sitting in our storage room and no one knew until that day lmao

is that good

[dogfencew]

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[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

pass the parcel was invented by Big Wrapping Paper to sell more wrapping paper

[artfulhorizons-studio]

(via Muddy dog needs a bath Clock by ArtfulHorizons)

Bath time!

[bakem07]

This man's best friend was watching the 💩out of me‼️😭🤣🤣🤣 🐕👀 #dogwatcher #thewatcher #manbestfriend #iseeyou #iseeyoutoo #lol #antirobbery #dogalert #shook #nothingpersonal #nottoday #pleasedonthurtme #youbigashell #fido #lassie #lmao #bearalert #alldogsgotoheaven #scaryass #cantcatchabreak #dog #dogsofinstagram #doglover #guarddog #guarddogsonduty #doggoviral #dogstagram #dogonduty https://www.instagram.com/p/CnViDvjOyug/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[pillowspace]

I don't know, I haven't seen season 4 in a year and a half

--

[ID: The Magnus Archives edits of tweets styled to be between Martin (Martin Kartin @/teahee, "tea" spelled like the drink) and Basira (Basira Hussain @/dogwatcher, stylized with a 0). Martin's profile picture is a close-up digital drawing of his face. He's a pale smiling man with short, wavy ginger hair, round glasses, brown eyes, and a blue sweater. Behind him is a blue sky, and he has a hand curled near his chin. Basira's profile picture is a purple digital drawing of her standing beside Daisy. Behind them both is the vague outlines of other people as if at a party. Daisy is in a tanktop with short hair, mouth open towards the camera point as if speaking. Basira is in a hijab and looking blankly at the camera point. There is a cup at the bottom of the profile picture, but it's ambiguous who's holding it.

Martin: Hold up, did Jon really take out the bottom 2 ribs so that he could risk entering the Buried? Please tell me this bullshit...

Basira: it's for real

Martin: I'm gonna go outside and light myself on fire. What are we doing to our beautiful queens

The original exchange was between Kevin Durant (@/KDTrey5) and Kaylana Reese (@/KaylanaReese). The original tweet said "Hold up, do women really take out the bottom 2 ribs so that they can have a skinny waist? Please tell me this is bullsh*t..." End ID]

Thank you for the ID, @princess-of-purple-prose <3 edit: I edited the ID to describe their profile pictures

The original:

[soapflavoredtea]

Dogwatch | Denji

Pairing: Denji x Black Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: Denji sees a black person for the first time

Content/Warnings: Denji being an absolute idiot, Not beta read so some typos

"[Name], could you be a dear and cover my shift?"

There they were. The words you had been waiting–anticipating even, to come out of your coworker's mouth the moment she strode in.

"Hard pass."

Your coworker tightly grasped her hands into a prayer as she gave you puppy eyes. A tactic that would’ve been a million percent more effective had it not been for the small fact that she was a grown woman approaching her thirties. "This'll be the last time, I promise!"

"That's what you said last time, Hanami."

“I actually mean it this time!”

She had also said that last time.

Shrugging on your thin jacket you rolled your eyes at her woman before heading towards the door. It was a quarter until ten on a Sunday. You had school first thing in the morning, and to say that you were a little behind on work would be the understatement of the century. 

Hanami quickly moved in front of you, arms spread wide with zero intention of letting you leave. "Please [Name], my feet are extra swollen today and--and the doctor told me it isn't good for me to be working late shifts like this. Me and the baby need rest!”

Usually, you posed zero complaints to the prospect of covering her shifts. Doing so always gave you somewhat of a valid excuse for turning in assignments late and the additional pay was never something to complain about. Also because she was pregnant. That too was very important.

But today, you couldn't find any reason to say yes. Even if for some reason you did agree, you wouldn't be getting home until at least 5:30 in the morning. Leaving you with an hour, if lucky two, to sleep and another to get ready before you had to start booking it to your homeroom. 

Yeah, definitely a hard pass.

Sidestepping her with ease, you resumed your way to the door, pushing it open to be met with the nice feeling of the late summer breeze against your face. The familiar chime of the convenience store rang through your ears leaving you deaf to her continued pleas. 

"I'll talk with the boss about that raise you always wanted!"

At her words, you slammed the brake in your steps. Hanami and the boss had always been close. Perhaps a little too close. (Because for all you knew, the baby was probably his.) But at the end of the day, a raise was a raise and you were never one to stick your nose where it had no business being.

"I'm listening."

Her eyes widened in surprise at your sudden change in attitude. "Yeah...yeah! Tomorrow I'll make sure to talk about it with him and–uh we can go from there."

And though reluctant, in the end, you decided to do it.

______

Working the night shift was a lot less adrenaline-inducing than you had initially thought, and after two hours of working it, you could quickly tell it was going to be nothing like the many horror stories you'd spent your nights reading.

No attempted robbery. No mass murderer. No spooky paranormal experience. Nothing,

A small, small fucked up part of you was wishing for something to happen so you could guilt Hanami into never throwing another shift on you again. 

For a brief moment, you thought the moment was coming when a creepy man. He had an odd, faraway look in his eyes and kept staggering around the store. Mumbling to nobody in particular but himself. However, after closer inspection, it was very apparent he was just a tired guy trying to go home and not some random pervert. 

As much as you were grateful for it, the lack of shoppers left you with nothing else to do but drown in your boredom. You silently cursed yourself for not bringing any of your schoolwork. You'd rather be doing that than rearrange soup cans again. 

The store’s bell, for the second time that evening, finally rang again. You shot up to straighten your posture so fast it was a miracle you didn’t pull anything. Looking to the door you saw a familiar top knot and a not-so-familiar messy head of blond. The former's look of surprise was evident on his face as he, and who you could only assume was his comrade, made their way to the counter.

"Since when have you worked the night shift?" Aki asked.

"Since today, or tonight or…this morning, I guess.” You were tired. Oh so very tired.

"Tell them to move you back. It isn't safe for kids your age to be working this late."

A devil hunter trying to lecture you about safety? You almost laughed at the irony.

You gave him a swift, half-assed salute, "Will do. So the usual?"

He responded with a curt nod.

Grabbing the small pack of cigarettes you moved it up to the scanner ready to recite the price listed on the screen before he interrupted you.

"Actually, add another pack, please."

"Long day?"

His dark blue eyes narrowed at his partner, "You have no idea."

“That makes two of us then,” you replied, repeating the action of scanning once more before telling him the total.

As the young adult fished down into his pocket you finally got a chance to look at the boy who accompanied him, and at that, your brows furrowed in worry. 

You knew what Aki's job was and the many risks that came with it. Over the past three months of working here, he had come in with quite several recruits before they eventually stopped coming. And by the way, the look in his eyes became more diminished–well it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together.

The boy who accompanied him was the same age as you, if not a bit older. Kids had no business being anywhere near an industry like that but you knew it was out of your control and for that you pitied him.

Or you would have if not for his staring problem.

His head was tilted with eyes that were boring into your soul. You recognized the look on his face easily. It was the same one you would have when you’d be in the middle of taking a test and seeing a question you knew for a fact was never taught. Even if the teacher claimed up and down that it was on the study guide. None of this was cute or flattering. Just deeply, deeply unsettling.

In an attempt to give him the benefit of the doubt, you glanced behind you. Because surely with an expression like that he had to be looking at something else. But just as you suspected there was nothing. You briefly brought your hand up to your chin to make sure there wasn’t any drool on your chin that you had unknowingly let slip. But again, nothing.

"Aki,” you started, “would your friend want anything?"

He looked offended at the statement but let out a sigh turning around to speak with the boy, whose face was still contorted in deep thought. "Oi, Devil, do you want anything?"

"Why..." he pondered for a moment, "why is yer skin like that?"

"Like what?" you responded warily as you slid the cigarettes across the counter.

"So dark."

The packs of nicotine hitting the ground was the only sound that filled the store, safe from the flickering lights.

Aki's face was completely mortified.

Yours’s in utter astonishment.

While the teenage boy just stood there. His eyes darted between the two of you before shrugging his shoulders and turning to the magazine section.

He hadn't even got one step in before Aki was dragging him out by the collar, throwing a large wad of cash onto the counter before doing so.

That night you'd been left with the biggest tip of your life. And the afternoon following, as promised, you received the raise.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for arguing with my mom over cameras?

For context, my (19F) mother (40sF) lives alone a majority of the time. She divorced my father (40sM) years ago and so she has split custody with him of me and my brother (15M).

Recently I arrived home from work to find a home-security camera facing towards the entryway to the house. I thought this was weird. I went upstairs to the living room and there was another camera in there, this one facing the couch. Uncomfortable, I turned it around so it faced the wall. When my mother came upstairs, I asked her about the cameras, and she said the one downstairs is for security- she lives alone, she wants to see who comes in and out of the house. The one upstairs, she said, was so she can watch our dog (12M) when she's not home.

I took issue with the cameras because I think they're a major invasion of privacy. At my dad's house, he also has lots of cameras and motion-activated lights set up around all corners of the outside of the house, because he's paranoid about intruders. I hate his cameras and lights, as it makes the house feel like a prison, and I can't leave or arrive without him seeing. I've tried talking to him about his cameras, but he won't listen, even when I tell him he's way overstepping in his guarding against "intruders".

My mom also thinks my dad is ridiculous with his cameras, but now I feel she's doing something similar with hers, except worse since they're inside the house. I told her the cameras (especially the one in the living room facing the couch) made me feel like my privacy was being invaded. I asked her, if she was so worried about intruders, why she doesn't lock her door (that's another thing- a majority of the time my mom leaves her front door unlocked). She told me she does lock her door, and that she's more worried about people breaking in at night while she's sleeping, or during the day while she's away (even though we live in a safe area where this hardly ever happens and her apartment is pretty hidden from the road). She also told me it's so she can check to see if my grandparents are entering the house without her permission since they have a set of keys, but that's another can of worms entirely. Basically, she has the camera because it gives her peace of mind.

I asked her why have one in the living room, since the dog has been fine all day by himself for years. She said because he's getting older she's worried about him. She also said she's worried about having people she doesn't know in the house to watch him-apparently she thinks the dogwatchers we hire when we go on trips are going to hurt the dog? I'm really not sure. She said she wants to be able to check on the dog to make sure he's not anxious during the day, but I asked her even if he was anxious, what could she do about it if she's not home? She works 8 hour days 5 days a week. If she sees the dog is anxious, she can't just drop everything and run home to check on him. I think the camera would make her anxiety over the dog worse. My philosophy is what she doesn't see, she can't worry about.

I told her she sounded super paranoid, and that I thought the cameras were an invasion of my privacy, since I know that home-security cameras can get hacked by bad actors, and also I didn't want her watching me enter the house and hang out in the living room. She told me I could just unplug the camera in the living room when I got home, which yeah, I can do, but still. It's a camera in the house. I don't like that. I'm already watched on cameras at work, I don't want to be watched by cameras at home.

Anyway, this whole thing devolved into a big argument that led to her saying me and my brother make her feel bad about herself as a parent because we "always argue with her about things she wants instead of being supportive" and just generally making me feel bad for even saying anything.

Maybe I'm the asshole here. I understand her point of view- it is scary living alone, but I hate cameras and I don't want to live in a surveillance state in my own home. I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable here, but maybe I am. I want her to feel safe in her own home, and if this is how she feels safe I suppose I should just accept it... idk.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[amisalami03]

cave mommy headcanons :D [this is my first time doing this help]

i'm gonna flip the script a little with this one, I think shes way more chill BUT will troll at any time >:)

she walked past pickle and sprayed him for no reason which resulted in a mini brawl , it was swiftly ended when cave shawty picks pickle up and suplexes him, so in celebration she beats her chest then goes to sleep in a nearby tree

she's definitely omnivorous in my book but she will eat meat and acts like a leopard by hiding her game in trees and pissing on those who walk to close to her territory this isn't a piss-kink thing I swear she's literally feral and piss is her prehistoric version of pocket sand

ironically enough though she and pickle are mated but he can not stand her ass sometimes, but she literally doesn't gaf and will lay on top of him (because she can.) and pickle does not seem to mind his woman using him as a mattress he will growl lowly but eventually puts himself to sleep since her warmth, scent and breathing patterns make it impossible to keep him awake lol (also its a sense of familiarity and comfort of her being the only thing he left of the past, so he willingly tolerates it)

because of her retsu's hair has been let down to its full glory and she even gave him a beautiful restyle :3 (lots of stick and shiny rock so cool |:) <- cave mommymoji) pickle didnt like it and wanted to fight retsu but a swift kick upside his head thwarted that act of petty conflict

she has no clue whats going on but is happy to see such small little guys doing complex things

she fucking LOVES pinwheels and windchimes hell yes little trinkets for her pretty please, even pickle is entertained when she shoves a pinwheel in his hair and shows him her stolen hardware store collection of chimes and shiny glass lawn ornaments used to water flowers -> |:) [her proud face]

she scratches her head like a dog and prefers to stay quadraped, which threw the boys off when she finally decided to stand on her two legs

katsumi told retsu he saw her walking on two legs before everyone else did and retsu called him a liar stating that she simply hadn't "evolved" to do that yet, as soon as he was done saying that she walked right passed them with various lawn ornaments in her arms, farted and continued walking without breaking a stride. retsu was stunned and katsumi just put his hand on his shoulder to console him.

I like to think she has a fighting style similar to dogwatch man from one punch man, which makes her a very hard opponent to defeat since her speed and agility far surpass her bipedal descendants

baki used her as a shield until she force-fed him a handful of grubs and ever since then shes been wondering where he's been |:( his ass ran away from her for about a week

she found him eventually and frantically fussed over him while holding him in a tight embrace, she thought she lost her baby again

Please keep her away from vending machines and claw games, to her they are like giant see through crustaceans she can crack open and benefit from, her and pickle will leave a wake of litter and shards of glass to get whats inside

Loves fountains, they are like vertical waterfalls to her and she’s mesmerized by how the magic water goes up 24/7

She draws cave paintings and is very proud of her work

Absolutely blown away by crayons, completely opened pandoras box for her wait until she learns about paint and markers

Keep scented/colorful soaps and chemicals away from her…she will try to drink them and get sick…no she probably wont die, but she will shit and vomit alot, pickle didnt wanna take the risk to drink fabuloso after that

She has an underbite snaggle tooth that sticks out

This is all I can come up with

This is all I can give you…for now

[squeakoid]

new naked man statue for norma’s yard. to overlook marshal’s yard

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

forgot to mention but I petted a 10 month old bernese mountain dog puppy on saturday

[ltwilliammowett]

Ship's Dog Boreas doing the dogwatch aboard Bark Europa

[lasudio]

VeronaHills, Round Nine: Traveller

The puppies were beyond the squirming and squealing stage. Tina was honoured to be trusted by Danny and Sarah to look after them.

They will be guardians themselves one day. Tina heard the voice and saw the solemn look in Danny's puppy dog eyes and realised what he meant. These silly little bundles of brindle and cream were destined to join other families as protectors and companions - of course they were! Two large dogs for one small cottage was already a balancing act, let alone five. Yet, Tina couldn't help grumbling to herself about these future families; she was naturally green-eyed. Alfred, Brady and Dora's new humans wouldn't know how lucky they were.

Very few could coax Tina away from playing with the Crittur puppies - handsome Sebastian Monty was one of them. They met at Owlberry Lake on a clear afternoon and wound up in a passionate kiss. She hoped it wouldn't be the last, in spite of his imminent move to Mission University. Then again, sometimes she wondered if the universe was taking her Traveller surname a bit too literally. Too bad she wasn't born Tina Stops-To-Smell-The-Flowers instead.

Trisha was on dogwatch duty that same afternoon, although she used it to invite her own Monty lad over for some fun. He was slicked in a layer of dirt and sweat from football practise and she'd been sprayed by a skunk earlier that day, so they opted for a shared shower to cover all bases.

The added element of Romeo dumping tomato soup over Trisha's head somehow made the encounter even more arousing.