#dogs might stop eating you while you sleep inc.

[seat-safety-switch]

It may surprise you to hear, but in the late 80s I was quite the tycoon. Back then, everyone was soaring high on an economy that was fuelled by equal parts cocaine and a sweaty, dilated-eyes, primal fear of the Nipponese. Without knowing much, you could get access to billions of dollars on the back of junk bonds, and chances are you’d never get caught.

In fact, a couple friends and I once did a leveraged buyout of an airline, despite not knowing how to run an airline, what a leveraged buyout was, or even how to operate a multi-line touch-tone telephone. We were just hanging out beside the bank branch near the mall, when the manager came out and asked us if we wanted to be executives.

Mr. Pennybags - and even if I could remember his real name, it was erased from the public records when he cut the face off that corpse and dumped it from the helicopter over Guatemala to fake his own death - told us that all that was needed of us was to just show up to the office once in awhile, do what he told us to do, and collect our paycheques. I planned to spend mine on a Lamborghini, but for some reason our paycheques bounced.

When we went back to the bank branch, it was gone. And I don’t mean just “went out of business” gone: the police later informed us that the entire existence of the branch office had been some kind of predatory fiscal illusion constructed by irrational exuberance, a nightmare given flesh by a mass delusion of the free market. The walls were made of papier-mache “ZZZ" corporate bonds from Mozambique’s hottest technology company, Dogs Might Stop Eating You While You Sleep Inc (name roughly translated).

The most important lesson we all took away from this was to develop an immense sense of hubris. Despite the fact that our rise to society’s financial elite had been based entirely upon a false pretext, we knew in our hearts that it was just a coincidence, a simple roadbump that should not be allowed to take away from our inevitable success.

This attitude listed for almost a month, for most of us, until society’s self-regulation mechanism kicked in. It’s hard to convince the other people on the bus you once were a billionaire on paper when you are also trying not to sit in the urine-y part of the seat.

[zoinkshaggy]

BASIC QUESTIONS

First name? “Sha– uh, Norville.”

Surname? “Rogers.”

Middle names? “Matthew.”

Nicknames? “Shaggy.”

Date of birth? “November 4th, 1995.”

Age? “Twenty five.”

PHYSICAL / APPEARANCE

Height? “6′0.”

Weight? “150-ish.”

Build? “Uh, long.”

Hair color? “Brown.”

Hair style? “I had dreads for awhile, but now I keep my hair short. Not short. Medium length, I guess.”

Eye color? “Also brown.”

Eye Shape? “Like, normal?”

Glasses or contact lenses? “Neither.”

Distinguishing facial features? “I’d say probably my smile.”

Which facial feature is most prominent? “Smile.”

Which bodily feature is most prominent? “My legs and arms, ‘cause they’re, like, twenty feet long.”

Other distinguishing features? “That’s it.”

Skin? “Oilier than I’d like.”

Hands? “Callused.”

Make up? “I don’t wear any.”

Scars? “Nothing important.”

Birthmarks? “Nah.”

Tattoos? “No! Needles? No thank you!”

Physical handicaps? “None.”

Type of clothes? “I really like sweaters. Sweaters will always be my favorite. They feel safe. It’s a little too hot for that here, though.”

How do you wear your clothes? “How they come.”

What are your feet like? “Kind of big, I guess. Two left feet, that’s what my mom said ‘cause I’m such a klutz. Uh, I should buy some more socks and shoes. Some of my socks have toe holes and my shoes are kind of coming apart.”

Race / Ethnicity? “I don’t have my birth parents around to ask, but I know I’m Spanish.” 

Mannerisms? “I have a habit of, like, playing with my necklace or hair or bracelet — my hands don’t always like being still.”

Are you in good health? “It’s alright, I think.”

Do you have any disabilities? “No.”

PERSONALITY

What words or phrases do you overuse? “Like. I use it, like, a lot.”

Do you have a catchphrase? “Zoinks.”

Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? “I definitely think I’m more optimistic, but I have my moments.”

Are you introverted or extroverted? “Introverted.”

Do you ever put on airs? “I… don’t know what that means.”

What bad habits do you have? “Overeating, not eating healthy. Sleeping in too late. Chewing my nails, only sometimes.”

What makes you laugh out loud? “Usually myself.”

How do you display affection? “My idea of affection is kind of, just, hanging around someone. Hugs can be nice too.”

Mental handicaps? “My anxiety.”

How do you want to be seen by others? “A person they came come to and trust.”

How do you see themselves? “Better than I used to be.”

How are you seen by others? “Probably… nervous.”

Strongest character trait? “My loyalty.”

Weakest character trait? “Getting stuck in my head.”

How competitive are you? “Not at all.”

Do you make snap judgements or take time to consider? “Like, I take too much time to consider.”

How do you react to praise? “I don’t know what to say. I guess I get kind of flustered, you know?”

How do you react to criticism? “Just kind of shrug it off.”

What is your greatest fear? “Ghosts, spiders, heights, bees, guns... losing Scooby.”

What are your biggest secrets? “I don’t really keep secrets.”

What is your philosophy of life? “We’re all just here for a little while, so we should make it easier on each other.”

When was the last time you cried? “It’s been a few months, actually.”

What haunts you? “Zoinks. Hopefully not any ghosts.”

What are your political views? “I don’t pay enough attention to politics to have any views, really. I’ll vote for whoever Velma votes for. She knows what she’s talking about.”

What will you stand up for? “I will always stand up for my friends.”

Who do you quote? “Usually if I’m quoting someone, I don’t even know who I’m quoting.”

Are you indoorsy or outdoorsy? “Indoors. I like walking Scoob and everything, but, like, there’s too many bugs outside.”

What is your sinful little habit? “Putting mustard on ice cream.”

What sense do you most rely on? “Taste. But also hearing.”

How do you treat people better than you? “The same.”

How do you treat people worse than you? “The same.”

What quality do you most value in a friend? “Kindness.”

What do you consider an overrated virtue? “I wanna say courage. Biased opinion.”

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? “I’d stop worrying about everything.”

What is your obsession? “Good food.”

What are your pet peeves? “When people are mean for no reason.”

What are your idiosyncrasies? “Gotta make sure I turn all the lights off before I leave.”

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Is your family big or small? Who does it consist of? “I guess it’s kind of small. I have my dad, my mom and my sister, Maggie. I haven’t seen my real parents since I was a kid.”

What is your perception of family? “I don’t think family has anything to do with blood, it’s how people treat you.”

Do you have siblings? Older or younger? “Maggie, she’s younger.”

Describe your best friend. “I’ve known her since, well... it feels like forever, but it’s only been, like, a decade and a half. She’s the best person I know. She’s so smart and funny, and she’s beautiful. She has a beautiful soul and... just... everything about her is beautiful. She makes me feel safe, it doesn’t matter what’s going on or how much my mind is racing, if I know she’s there it just feels like everything’s gonna be okay.”

Ideal best friend? “I’ve already got ‘em all.”

Describe your other friends. “They’re great. They’re all unique in their own ways, you know? Freddy’s headstrong and he’s the coolest guy you’ll meet, Daph is such a warm energy and she’s a great conversationalist, Buzz is genuine and he’s loyal. I know everyone thinks so, but I really do have the best friends.”

Describe your acquaintances. “I guess that would be the people I work with. Like, they’re okay.”

Do you have any pets? “Yeah, I have Scoob, but he’s more like my brother or something at this point.”

Who are your natural allies? “Probably the Mystery Inc gang.”

Who are your surprising allies? “I guess it’s surprising I’d fit in with them, huh?”

PAST AND FUTURE

What were you like as a baby? As a child? “I was happy. I can’t remember much from being that young, but I know I was traveling with my parents, I remember I felt like the world was so big and exciting. I felt so loved. I guess I kind of lost that feeling when I was adopted, suddenly the exciting stuff was just, like, scary. I was an anxious wreck as a child, that’s all, honestly.”

Did you grow up rich or poor? “The Rogers family is well off. I wouldn’t say rich, but, like, well off.”

Did you grow up nurtured or neglected? “I don’t wanna say they neglected me. I did feel that way a lot, but some of it was... me, I guess, myself worrying. Yeah.”

What is the most offensive thing you ever said? “I hope nothing.”

What is your greatest achievement? “Is it sad to say everything I’ve done in this last year? For awhile it felt like I was just getting by, but right now, I feel like I’m really living. I got a job, like, it’s not much but it’s a job, I’m doing better in school, I’ve got Velma now, really got her...”

What was your first kiss like? “It was with my favorite person. Kind of later than most people’s, I guess, but worth waiting for.”

What is the worst thing you did to someone you loved? “Come into my mom’s life, probably.”

What are your ambitions? “I’ve been thinking I might wanna go to culinary school.”

What advice would you give your younger self? “I would just tell him that nothing is wrong with him, it’s okay to go your own pace and, like, it’s all gonna be okay, little guy.”

What smells remind you of your childhood? “Corn dogs and pizza. Apple pie. Playground mulch. Hair spray and perfume. Dirt.”

What was your childhood ambition? “I just remember wanting to stop being so scared.”

What is your best childhood memory? “It’s so old it’s blurry, but I remember one of my birthdays, I guess it was my last before I was adopted. We were traveling, my parents were happy, I was happy. It was the last time everything felt okay for awhile.”

What is your worst childhood memory? “There’s a few. Most of them involved panic attacks alone in my bedroom.”

Did you have an imaginary childhood friend? “Not that I remember.”

When was the last time you were crushed with disappointment? “Sometime before I moved to Elias.”

What past act are you most ashamed of? “I’m ashamed that I let myself get separated from my parents, that I couldn’t figure out how to get in touch with them. Maybe shame isn’t the right word. I just wish I knew how my mom and dad were doing, my other mom and dad.”

What past act are you most proud of? “Taking whatever the first step was to stepping out of my shell.”

Has anyone ever saved their life? “I feel like Scooby Doo saved my life.”

Strongest childhood memory? “Another birthday. My first one with the Rogers family. I ended up crying in the bathroom. I was so confused and overwhelmed, I felt like the only person in the world. I just wanted to go home. I don’t think that feeling will ever leave me.”

LOVE

Do you believe in love at first sight? “Yes.”

Are you in a relationship? “I’m with Velma.”

How do you behave in a relationship? “I don’t really know what I’m doing, I’m just trying to make her happy.”

When did you last have sex? “I-- uh... that’s personal.”

What sort of sex do you have? “Like, w-why are you asking that?”

Have you ever been in love? “I am right now.”

Have you ever had your heart broken? “Yeah, but it wasn’t in a relationship.”

CONFLICT

How do you respond to a threat? “Run.”

Are you most likely to fight with your fists or your tongue? “Like, neither.”

What is your kryptonite? “All you can eat buffets.”

If you could only save one thing from your burning house, what would it be? “I assume Scooby and Velma don’t count, so I guess I’d probably grab my favorite shirt or something.”

How do you perceive strangers? “Scary.”

What do you love to hate? “I don’t hate anything... except maybe lima beans... and there is no love there, like, at all.”

What are your phobias? “There’s a lot of ‘em.”

What is your choice of weapon? “I’m more of a hider. If I had to use something, I’d probably grab whatever was blunt and close to me.”

What living person do you most despise? “I don’t despise anyone.”

Have you ever been bullied or teased? “Yeah.”

Where do you go when you’re angry? “I don’t get angry. When I’m sad, I just go home.”

Who are your enemies and why? “The bad guys the gang and I try to stop... because we’re trying to stop them...”

WORK, EDUCATION AND HOBBIES

What is your current job? “Right now I flip burgers.”

What do you think about your current job? “It’s not too bad. It pays the bills for now. Maybe one day I can get a real cooking job.”

What are some of your past jobs? “This is my first job.”

What are your hobbies? “Just chilling, mostly. Smoking, eating.”

Educational background? “I’m in college.”

Intelligence level? “I’m not the smartest guy you’ll meet, but I’m trying.”

Do you have any specialist training? “No.”

Do you have a natural talent for something? “I don’t know if it’s a talent, but I have a lot of knowledge on the supernatural. Weeding out what’s real and what’s not, though, that’s the hard part.”

Do you play a sport? Are you any good? “No, I’ve never been good at sports... I hated gym class.”

What is their socioeconomic status? “I recycle, but I should do more.”

FAVORITES

What is your favorite animal? “Dogs.”

Which animal do you dislike the most? “Anything that bites or stings.”

What place would you most like to visit? “I think Antarctica would be pretty cool. Ha, ba-dum-tss.”

What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? “I remember Topanga Canyon being so pretty...”

What is your favorite song? “Two Princes, Spin Doctors.”

Music, art, reading preferred? “Music.”

What is your favorite color? “Green.”

What is their password? “Scoobydoobydoo420 --- like, wait, why are you asking?”

Favorite food? “Like, that’s too hard!”

What is your favorite work of art? “Uh... Mona Lisa?”

Who is your favorite artist? “I don’t know artists that well.”

What is your favorite day of the week? “With my work schedule, it doesn’t really matter.”

POSSESSIONS

What is in your fridge? “What isn’t in my fridge? Let’s see, right now I know there’s barbecue sauce, mayonnaise, mustard, honey mustard, honey, shredded cheddar cheese, American cheese slices, a wheel of Gouda, ketchup, ranch, spicy barbeque, sour cream, strawberry and grape jelly, apple jam, butter, margarine, milk, chocolate milk, Almond milk, strawberry syrup, cherries, a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak, ham, turkey, black forest ham, broccoli, Reeses cups, water bottles, apple juice, leftover brown rice, at least one eggplant, eggs, one slice of buffalo chicken pizza, cabbage, few different Lunchables, green peppers, one red pepper, mild salsa, medium salsa, a microwaveable Calzone, strawberries, raspberries, cream cheese, a bowl of chili and... actually, I think that’s it. Don’t get me started on the freezer.”

What is on your bedside table? “My phone and an old water bottle, probably.”

What is in your car? “I don’t have a car.”

What is in your bin? “Candy wrappers, empty Chinese takeout boxes, probably some junk mail.”

What is in your purse or wallet? “My ID, debit card, a little bit of cash, Scoob’s service dog certificate, a picture of Velma.”

What is in your pockets? “Scooby snacks.”

What is your most treasured possession? “I’m not attached to any specific items, really, just people.”

SPIRITUALITY

Who or what is your guardian angel? “I don’t know, I’d just like to think I have one.”

Do you believe in the afterlife? “I’m not sure. When I think about it, I get a little freaked out.”

What are your religious views? “Uh, I- I don’t know.”

What do you think heaven is? “I think it would be this safe place on the clouds where everyone you love is waiting.”

What do you think hell is? “Bad.”

Are you superstitious? “I guess, yeah.”

What would you like to be reincarnated as? “I guess being a dog would be pretty fun... anything like that. I don’t think I’d wanna be a human again. It’s too much.”

How would you like to die? “Not... painfully...”

What is your spirit animal? “A sloth.”

What is your zodiac sign? “Scorpio.”

VALUES

What do you think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? “Breaking them down. Making them feel like they’re not important, they don’t matter, they have to change who they are to be loved.”

What is your view of ‘freedom’? “Having the chance to choose.”

When did you last lie? “Like, I don’t want to lie, but this guy at work asked me if I liked his new sunglasses, and I didn’t want to be rude and they were pretty expensive, so I said yeah, but... I really didn’t like them.”

What’s your view of lying? “I hate doing it, I don’t want to be lied to.”

When did you last make a promise? “Last week.”

Did you keep or break their last promise? “I keep my promises.”

DAILY LIFE

What are their eating habits? “Whatever I want when I want it.”

Do you have any allergies? “Not that I know of, but I bet I’m allergic to bees, I feel like if I got stung I’d die, so I try to avoid them.”

Describe your home. “It’s just a small apartment. It feels like home when Velma’s there, though.”

Are you a minimalist or a clutter hoarder? “Can I be both? I’m trying to do better about clutter, it’s usually just clothes and trash, I don’t have many belongings.”

What do you do first thing on a weekday morning? “Kiss Velma on the head. Get ready for work. If I’m off, I’ll cuddle a little longer, then we’ll have breakfast.

What do you do on a Sunday afternoon? “Take my shoes off, sit on the couch and watch some TV.”

What do you do on a Friday night? “Whatever Velma wants to do.”

What is your soft drink of choice? “Dr. Pepper.”

What is your alcoholic drink of choice? “I don’t drink much. Mike’s Lemonade is enough for me, and it tastes good.”

MISCELLANEOUS

What or who would you dress up as for Halloween? “I like dressing up as ghosts with Scoob. I think I was the Hamburglar last year. Maybe me, Scooby and and Velma can all do matching costumes this Halloween.”

Are you comfortable with technology? “I guess.”

If you could save one person, who would it be? “Velma.”

If you could call one person for help, who would it be? “Depends on the situation. Freddy, Daph or Velma.”

What is your greatest extravagance? “Food...”

What is your greatest regret? “I don’t think I have any.”

What is your perception of redemption? “Noticing that you need to do better, then striving to do it.”

What would you do if you won the lottery? “I’d pay off any bills my friends have. Put some funding into the Mystery Inc. I guess I’d save the rest.”

What is your favorite fairytale? “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.”

What fairytale do you hate? “Like, Little Red Riding Hood makes me feel... weird...”

Do you believe in happy endings? “Yes.”

What is your idea of perfect happiness? “Being comfortable in your own skin and surrounding yourself with people that are good for you.”

What would you ask a fortune teller? “I’d ask how my birth parents are doing.”

If you could travel through time, where would you go? “I’d go back and spend another day with them.”

What sport do you excel at? “None, no sports.”

What sport do you suck at? “All of them. Especially baseball.”

If you could have a superpower, what would you choose? “I’d like to be able to turn invisible. Not to spy on people. Just to hide when everything got too overwhelming.”

[mediocre--writing]

Prompts

If you want to request from these prompts just pick a character and however many prompts you want (ex: A14 would be Angst #14, etc.), along with anything else you would like in the one shot/story (like a summary or something idk).

Thank you for finding my blog (and hopefully liked/enjoyed them)!

Disclaimer: I got these prompts from other Tumblr posts and Pinterest, but I forgot to copy who I got them from, so if you find some that are yours, just tell me and I’ll give you credit :)

ANGST

“I can’t do anything right.”

“Please don’t cry.”

“Why are you awake right now?”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“Wake up! Please wake up.”

“Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Is that blood?” “…..No?”

“Please don’t lie to me again, I can’t take it.”

“Do you even still love me?”

“Nobody’s seen you in days.”

“Why are you awake?”

“I’m worried about you.”

“Can you shut up for once in your life?”

“Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.”

“Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?”

“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”

“Leave! Me! Alone!”

“I think we should break up.”

“You aren’t who I thought you were.”

“I don’t even know who you are anymore!”

“Why can’t you look at me?”

“What’s wrong?”

“You want to be with him/her/them, don’t you?”

“You promised you’d change!”

“Am I not enough for you?”

“What is so wrong with me?”

“I’m sick of trying.”

“I don’t want to be just friends.”

“I can’t trust you anymore.”

“I can’t even look at you.”

“Your problem isn’t me, your problem is __” (Fill in the blank)

“I’m always wrong, aren’t I?”

“You said this time it’d be different.”

“Please give me a chance.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“I wish I’d never laid eyes on you.”

“I don’t love you anymore.”

“We can’t keep this up forever.”

“You make me feel so small.”

“Don’t leave me like this!”

“Don’t ever call me again.”

“Talk to me, please.”

“Don’t push me away.”

“This is your son/daughter.”

“I think I need a break from you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I can’t promise you anything.”

“It’s better this way.”

“The baby… it’s yours.”

“After all this time, and you still can’t look me in the eye?”

“I can only blame myself.”

“I was only pretending.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“This is all because of you!”

“I don’t feel the same way.”

“Just go!”

“Please stay.”

“What don’t you telling me?”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know.”

“Don’t tell me to keep calm!”

“I’m keeping the baby, with or without you.”

“I need to be alone.”

“Stop calling me.”

“I can’t remember why I ever loved you.”

“Don’t apologize; I know you don’t mean it.”

“I can’t believe what you’ve done.”

“I don’t need you, I’m fine on my own.”

“All I wanted was a happy ending.”

“Mistakes are easily made at the moment. Apologies are not.”

“I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”

“My emotions have been turbulent for so long, I’m not sure how to react.”

“My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away.”

“I don’t want material belongings! I want my heart back!”

“Until you can return the time I wasted on you, I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Grief is natural they say. So is death. I don’t want either.”

“You can’t look pretty and dangerous at the same time. Not yet.”

“Kill everything dear to you and then you will know how it feels.”

“I don’t hold people close. It makes it easier for them to hurt you.”

“Don’t touch me. Your skin is poisonous.”

“Why won’t he/she/they call?”

“I’m dreading her/his/their call, I’m not ready.”

“I don’t like this, it feels weird.”

“Kill my feelings, kill my soul. Kill everything I am.”

“Don’t call me, I don’t want any contact with you.”

“Please don’t talk to me, I’m dealing with some stuff.”

“It’s not working out. We’re not working out.”

“Hey, I’m leaving for good. I’ll…see you around.”

“How could you do this to me?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Not this time!”

“I never want to see you again.”

“Wanna bet?”

“I know you and this isn’t you.”

“You betrayed my trust.”

“Get out!”

“Maybe I’m better off alone.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

“I’ll die without you.”

“I never loved you.”

FLUFF

“Go with me?” “As long as you hold my hand.”

“Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?”

“Have you seen my hoodie?” “Nooo.” “You’re wearing it, aren’t you?”

“Have you always been this beautiful?”

“OH, you’re jealous!”

“Can we stay like this forever?”

“Please just kiss me already.”

“I think you might be my soulmate.”

“Sleepover? Please?”

“Are we on a date right now?”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“He’s so pretty I think I’m gonna faint.”

“Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

“Am I your lock screen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“I missed you so much.”

“Do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?”

“I’m here for you.”

“I wish we could live together already.”

“Quit stealing all the pillows!”

“You want a bite?”

“Give me a second and I’ll show you.”

“You’ll play this game with me, won’t you?”

“What should we name him/her?”

“Have you ever played in the rain?”

“Is it hot in here or is that just you?”

“Why are your feet so cold?”

“Ride the Ferris wheel with me?”

“There’s room for two/three!”

“Stop that, I’m ticklish!”

“Put your finger here while I go get the tape.”

“Here’s my number!”

“You want chocolate or vanilla?”

“Your hands are so warm!

“Are you sure you’re not tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”

“You’re sweeter than candy.”

“You smell really nice.”

“Your hair’s so soft…”

“You’re my new pillow.”

“Can I rub your back?”

“If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?”

“I think I love you.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Hold my hand.”

“It’s not morning yet.”

“Stay for a little longer…”

“Of course I’m happy! How far along are you?”

“You’re so beautiful.”

“I’ll always be here for you.”

“You are my love.”

“You were right here all along.”

“Do you want my coat? It’s really cold out here.”

“You don’t need keys to drive me crazy.”

“Do you want to get dinner sometime?”

“Call me whenever… no really.”

“You’ve got flour on your cheek.”

“Sorry… your hair was in your face… thought I should move it so I could see you better.”

“You don’t have to leave so soon.”

“You could put your feet in my lap, you know.”

“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“We’re pregnant!”

“Are you science? Because I’ve got my ion you.”

“We could try cuddling.”

“Stop being so cute.”

“Are you okay?”

“Our relationship is the most important thing in my life.”

“You can sleep, I’ll keep you safe.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.”

“I want to eat yogurt with you.”

“Can we make a cake? I like cake.”

“I like your rainbow shoes.”

Please hold me. It’s been a day.”

“I’ve never felt such love.”

“The moon is high tonight, it frames you well.”

“I want to dance through an army of fireflies with you.”

“Stars pale in comparison to you.”

“My heart hurts when I see you and I find myself drunk on the pain.”

“I would give up everything for the chance to see your laugh again.”

“Monster Inc. was onto something, your smile and laughter run my entire world.”

“I dedicate this nail to you when I paint them.”

“All I want is to sleep by your side.”

“Cover me in badges of your love.”

“I’ve never enjoyed anything more than a hug from you.”

“You look yummy.”

“My hand was made to fit into yours. That’s all there is to it.”

“I didn’t get soaked wet through walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. I have been too. I know you’re sad, so let me in.”

“This might sound so creepy but I want your skin. It’s so pretty.”

“You just dropped love into my heart and that’s all I needed.”

“We only have one room left for the night…”

“We can make this work, I know we can.”

“I love you so much that it physically hurts.”

“God, I’m never leaving your side again.”

“you’re an idiot, but you’re cute.”

“I’m asking you on a date, idiot.”

“Listen, I really don’t like you, but you have kittens, so I’m going to be over a lot.”  

"Would you STOP coming in through the WINDOWS, it scares the hell out of me every TIME!“

"Listen, we have very thin walls and I heard you crying in the shower, are you okay?”  

"I was very good friends with the guy that lived here before you and basically I was over here a lot and… well, old habits die hard, can I stay?“

"If you set the alarm off in the middle of the night ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR I WI- wait why were you even cooking at 3 am?”

“Hey, I locked myself out can I use your phone?” “You locked yourself out too?”

MISCELLANEOUS

“All I do is drink coffee and say bad words.”

“Quit touching me, your feet are cold!”

“I think I just ripped my pants.”

“Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!”

“Can I pet your dog?” “Do I know you?”

“Did you seriously just get your foot stuck in a toilet?” “Maybe.”

“If I die, I’m haunting you first.”

“But I’ve never told you that before.”

“Stop being grumpy, it’s lame.”

“So, uh, I locked the keys in the car.”

“Is the cat in a onesie?” “Uh, no?

“Can we please stop running? I think I’m dying.”

“You come here often?” “Well, I work here. So I think I’d have to say ‘yes’.”

“Aren’t we supposed to be working?”

“Give me attention.”

“YOU SAID TO BE HONEST STOP HITTING ME!”

“Okay, so maybe I didn’t see that coming.”

“I’m too sober for this.” “You don’t even drink.” “Maybe I should start.

“At least you’ll die doing what you love; Walking into danger.”

“Here are some cookies and some very bad news!”

“I have forgotten everything I’ve ever learned.”

“Let me keep that promise.”

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.”

“Why am I always the funniest when no one is around to hear it?”

“Can you stay still for the next 20 minutes? No, I’m not drawing you.”

“Oh no, I feel bad- SYKE, no I don’t.”

“Next problem… we might die.”

“Wow, that was a great comeback.”

“Who is running this thing?!”

“You are aware that the walls aren’t people, right?”

“Hey, go fill up your human needs.”

“Yeah, keep making jokes. That’ll win the war.”

“Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock is a much better strategy.”

“I think… everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves.”

“I can’t help that I’m curious.”

“I know you. You’re a terrible person. But as the judge here, I will look at you in the unbiased way you don’t deserve.”

“The mountains are calling and I must skedaddle.

“Who says ‘nincompoop’?!”

“Things fascinate me. Why wouldn’t they, when you stop to give them thought?”

“Are you always so easily convinced?”

“Look, it’s difficult for me to isolate what I hate about you the most because there is so much to hate.”

“That’s an order. Obey.”

“Look, I don’t want to swear but; What. The frick!”

“As the most amazing person in the room, I’ll gladly accept that.”

“Now power down, sass robot.”

“The art of not being an idiot is extremely challenging for me.”

“That’s troubling.”

“Tell your story. Become words, become ideas… you never know what or who it’ll affect.”

“Can I climb on your shoulders?” “Why?” “To get a better view.”

“Stop trying to take pictures and enjoy yourself.”

“Listen! They are playing our song!”

“OH MY GOD THEY LOOKED IN MY DIRECTION THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.” “You need to calm down.”

“Jesus, are you crying?”

“Just get them out of the car before you kill them.”

“I’m not going to drop down from the balcony!”

“Someday somebody’s going to mistake your snoring as a helicopter.”

“You couldn’t have bothered with a little heads up?”

“Call the stupid prick and tell her what’s happening.”

“Oh me? I’m just in my pajamas, making sure that nobody bleeds out in the hallway.”

“You are looking less confident every minute.”

“I am admittedly bored, but I barely can do anything about it now can I?”

“Oh God, it’s you.. would it be weird if I asked where your sister is?”

“How would you describe the moment with one word?” “Naked. Very, very naked.”

“I’ve never seen you in my life and you just threw up on my shoes, who do you think you - oh gosh, you’re now unconscious.”

“You’re talking to me but I can’t hear you over the sound of my sniffling nose.”

“You look so pretty while you’re coughing your lungs out.”

“I feel really dizzy and hot - and oh - oh when did I end up on the floor?”

“We thought you just had a common cold, why is the doctor saying what you have is terminal?”

“Hold on, we’re coming.”

“I won’t let you fall.”

“Hey, it’s me, it’s just me.”

“Oh god… what did they do to you?”

“Can you stay awake for me?”

“Who gave you permission to fall asleep?”

“I’m going to make that sick bastard suffer for what he did to you.”

“Don’t look” / “Look at me”

“Here, you might need something to bite on…”

“I thought I’d never get to see you again.”

“I know you can’t talk, but I just want you to know that I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m not leaving you here!”

“Hold my hand.”

“You’re so cold…” / “You’re burning up”

“I know it hurts, I’m sorry.”

“I’ve got you.”

“Please be okay.”

“I’m sorry I failed you, I should’ve been there.”

“Just keep pressure on it.”

“Please don’t leave me, I can’t do this without you.”

“I just need more time.”

“Wish me luck.”

“I just don’t believe in coincidences.”

“Ok, I have a fear of balloons.”

“Change is not good for me.”

“I have to stay awake.”

“Hold on, what did you wish for?”

“If we can just get passed this last door.”

“I can never trust someone who thinks puppies, are evil masterminds trying to take over the world.”

“That’s my name, too.”

”Walk with me?” “Sure. Not like I have a broken leg or anything..”

”Do you like her?” “No! She just makes me realize how much anger issues I actually have”

[juju-on-that-yeet]

The Way Things Are

Prompt: Whumptober Day 31, Embrace

Summary: A quiet, lovely morning in Ego Inc.

Warnings: None!

Tagging: @peribloke @tired-eldritchhorror (ask to be tagged!)

Read on AO3 (Full Whumptober Series)

Enjoy!

~

The egos are a dangerous bunch, and every day, they invite danger.

But there’s humanity in them, too, gentleness, kindness, love.

Early in the morning, a doctor tries to get out of bed and is stopped by the arms of his blind partner, who pulls him back against his chest.

“Host, I have to get up.”

“It’s too early, stay with me.”

“I love you very much, but I have to get up.”

“If you loved me you wouldn’t leave me all alone.”

Quiet laughter.

“If you loved me you would just get up, too, and come with me.”

A considered pause.

“I don’t love you that much, dear.”

Louder laughter that makes even the tired blind man smile.

“I’ll see you later to change your bandages, then.” A kiss, soft and light. “Don’t be late, love.”

“I never am, darling.”

In a different bed, someone slides in, joining the sleeping person already there. The newcomer moves aside the wires on the pillow to crowd close, watch the orange emblem on his partner’s chest glow as he recharges. He cups his cheek and sings to him, slow and quiet, using his partner’s sleeping breaths as a metronome. He gets partway through the song, not noticing his partner beginning to stir.

“Can I go where you go…Can we always be this close…forever and ever and ah, take me out, and take me home…you’re my, my, my, my–”

“Mmph, lover.”

“Oh no, I didn’t mean to wake you up. But also, you took my favorite part, you goof!”

A playful shove, more like a tap, and an answering laugh.

“You didn’t wake me, I’m just done charging. What time is it?”

“Early.” A yawn. “Too early.”

“That checks. I’m gonna chill out here for a while.” He wraps his arms around the other, pulling him so close the glow from his own chest emblem can’t be seen. “Go to sleep, I’ll stay.”

“Okay. Love you.”

“Love you, too, babe.”

In a bathroom upstairs, someone showers, singing to himself as he rinses shampoo out of his red hair.

“If you can't handle a heart like mine, don't waste your time with me, if you're not down to bleed, no, oh…”

He doesn’t register when the other person comes into the room, doesn’t even hear the high-pitched ringing that filters in under the sound of running water. He keeps singing to himself under the spray.

“If you can't handle the choking, the biting, the loving, the smothering 'til you can't handle it no more, no – oh!”

He certainly registers the other person’s presence when he wraps his arounds around him from behind, pulling him into a bare chest, cold skin meeting hot.

“Ohayō, senpai! I’m surprised I woke up before you today.”

The other man hums, letting his head rest atop the shorter man’s, nosing his wet red hair.

“I didn’t sleep much, I’m afraid. I’m hoping a shower might wake me up.”

“Hmm, maybe.” The red-haired man looks up at his partner, smiles and kisses him, hotter than the shower’s steam. “There’s other stuff that can wake you up, you know.”

“Is that so?”

The taller man suddenly scoops up the smaller, flipping him around so they’re face-to-face, and turning around to let the shower spray hit his back instead of his partner’s hair. His partner, for his part, cries out in surprise as he’s manhandled, grabbing the taller’s shoulders as they become slicked with water.

“Eek, Yami, be careful, we’re gonna slip!!” He wraps his legs around his waist anyway.

“We’re not going to slip.” Something smoky and black weaves around him, bracing the pair against the tile. “And this was your idea, love. It won’t be my fault if we do slip.”

“Rude!”

The redhead laughs, kissing his partner again and letting his hands start to wander. His partner does the same, hands sliding over the redhead’s waist, fingers slotting neatly over the two sets of bruises he left there the night before, making the redhead moan.

“Easy, Yami, I’m still sore, ah…” 

“I don’t think this will help with that, dearest one.”

His tone is playful as he whispers against his partner’s lips.

As the morning gets late, a man in a suit gels up his hair in front of a bathroom mirror. Another man in a yellow shirt watches, lamenting.

“Do you have to use hair gel today? It makes your hair all sticky and crunchy and no fun to touch!”

“Yeah, that’s the point. If I want my hair to stay styled for filming all day, I need gel – and I need you to not touch it.”

The man in yellow pouts.

“Bimmyyyyy…”

“Nope, not looking at you. Your puppy eyes aren’t gonna make me late, not today.”

“Biiiiiim…”

“You can fluff up my hair all you want when I’m done filming, sunflower. Be patient!”

The suited man yelps as his partner suddenly scoops him up.

“Hey, put me down! You’re gonna wrinkle my suit!!”

“You’re such a diva.” A soft smile. “You’re like a fancy dog show yorkie, all styled with a little ribbon.”

“I’m not like a yorkie!! That doesn’t make sense! Aren’t you Googles supposed to make sense?”

“Only when we feel like it.”

The man in yellow beams, still holding his partner like he weighs nothing, and kisses him. The suited man kisses back, letting his hands drift to his partner’s hair, relishing the softness.

“So not fair,” mumbles the man in yellow between kisses, “You get to pet my hair all you want.”

“That’s because you never wear hair gel. If you ever did I wouldn’t stop you.” He pulls away, considering. “I bet you’d look really nice with your hair styled. Maybe you could dress up, too, there’s probably a yellow silk tie in the costume department somewhere��”

“Hey, don’t you have to leave?”

“Oh, sure, now you want me to go.” Another laugh, another kiss. “You’d have to let me go for that to happen, though.”

“Hmmm.” A cheeky grin. “I don’t think I wanna do that yet.”

Meanwhile, a set of twins darts around the studio as a moustachioed, pink-haired man directs them.

“Alright, how we lookin’, Jims?”

“Mostly good, Pink Jim!”

“Mostly? Why the “mostly”?”

“Well…” One of the twins rocks on his heels. “You fired your shooty at the lead camera guy yesterday.”

“So?? He was being so rude, with all his “don’t point that thing at me” and “I don’t want to die” nonsense.”

“Maybe, but he can’t film with a shooty pellet in his face, Pink Jim.”

“Ah, I suppose that makes sense. I shot him in the eye, guess he can’t see to film that way.” The man twitches his moustache thoughtfully. “But I promised Bim he’d have a spot in the show today, and if we postpone it, he’ll be pretty annoyed.”

The group is silent for a long moment as they think. Finally, one of the twins begins to reply with his fingers.

“Maybe…I could be the lead cameraman for this? Pretty please, Pink Jim?”

“Yeah, CJ can do it!!”

The twins run up to the pink-haired man, looking up at him with eager, begging puppy eyes. The pink-haired man regards the pair critically.

“You want me to let CJ be the lead cameraman, with no prior notice or training, despite the fact that the majority of his experience lies in filming on the field instead of filming in the studio, and he’s never worked with other camera people on a project before, much less been in charge of a group of them?”

“Yes, please!”

“Yeah, Pink Jim, it’ll be great!!”

A long pause, and then the pink-haired man grins.

“Well sure, I don’t see why not! You two always have such good ideas.” He scoops up both twins in a bear hug, making them laugh. “The other camera people’ll bring you up to speed, CJ, so go get started!”

“Right away! Thank you, PJ!!”

“Get outta here, you rascal!” The pink-haired man laughs as he releases the silent twin, who scampers off to prepare for filming.

“What now, Pink Jim?”

“Go find Bimmy; I made some last-minute script changes we have to go over. What the heck is taking him so long, anyway?”

“Not sure, but I’ll find out!”

“Atta boy!” The pink-haired man lets the last twin go with a robust hair ruffle. “Come back with Bim, and soon, we don’t have a moment to lose!”

Down the hall, a group of androids are running through their morning checklist, when the leader of them lightly clears his throat. The other two, one in green and one in red, look at him.

“So. Oliver’s not here this morning, obviously.”

The younger pair blink in unison.

“…Yes.”

“Right.”

“And…he made me promise to “hug you for him” this morning since he’s not here to do it.”

A long pause. The red-shirted android speaks first, then the green.

“Ew.”

“We really don’t need hugs.”

“I know that.” The leader sighs. “But he insisted, and he’ll definitely know if I lie about doing it. It’s not like we haven’t hugged before.”

“Those were…extreme situations.” The green-shirted android shifts awkwardly, likely remembering one of those extreme situations.

“Are you sure you can’t just…not and say you did?”

“No. Oliver is not that easily fooled, you both know that. So who’s first?”

Another long pause. The leader sighs and moves forward.  

“Fine, both of you then.”

“Hey–”

“Wait–”

The leader grabs them both with one arm each before they can think to run, and pulls them both to his chest. They stay like that for a long moment, both the younger androids frozen, making no movement to hug back. The leader lets them go with a sigh.

“You’re both so dramatic. It wasn’t that bad.”

“Yes it was,” says the android in red, flatly, before walking away. The leader sighs, and the android in green shorts with laughter.

“It really wasn’t,” he admits. “See you later, Google.”

“See you.”

Elsewhere, a masked superhero and a king with peanut butter on his face are finishing a late breakfast in one of the building’s kitchens. The hero, done eating, begins to stand up but stops abruptly, laughing.

“King, uh, I have a buddy sleeping on my lap. What now?”

“Well, now you can’t get up. It’s against my royal decree to wake up a sleeping squirrel.”

“Maybe you could just…pick him up and move him?”

“Disturbing a squirrel without good cause is also illegal.” The king is grinning.

“I have good cause! I have to leave and start my patrol. I’m late enough as it is!”

“Hmmm.” The king ponders, tapping his sticky chin. “Not good enough, sorry. If you remove that squirrel from your lap you’ll be breaking the law.”

“King, c’mon man, I gotta go! I don’t wanna jostle this little guy, but I can’t stay here all day.”

“Why not? We could hang out, Ed can join us, we can just have fun.” The king looks away. “Or you can just leave, and almost die, again.”

“King, please–”

“No, you please! Remember when you got hurt so bad you had to get Roxy to call Dr. Iplier?? You know Dark could’ve found out about it! He still could find out! That was bad, Silver, and it could’ve been a lot worse if you hadn’t been able to get to her place in time.”

There’s a long pause. The hero pets the still-sleeping squirrel on his lap with a gloved hand.

“I’m sorry that happened,” he admits quietly. “But just because I get hurt doesn’t mean I can stop helping people. It’s in my blood, King. It’d be like if I asked you to give up your squirrels.”

“I know.” A sigh. “I just worry about you. You’re my friend, and let’s face it, we’re not as popular as the other egos here. If you ever actually died out there…you might not wake up again.” 

“I know, but…but I’ll consider it worth it if I’ve died saving people.”

A pause. The hero nudges the squirrel still in his lap and laughs quietly, awkwardly.

“How is this little fella sleeping through all this?”

The king snorts.

“How big is the squirrel on your lap, exactly? I can’t see them from here.”

“Kind of enormous, honestly. Like two squirrels at once.”

“Ah, that’ll be Clarence. He can sleep through anything.”

The pair share a chuckle, then the hero pauses.

“Wait a minute!” he gasps, “If he can sleep through anything, then I can move him without disturbing him!”

“Oh. That’s…true.”

The hero laughs, and after a moment, the king can’t help but join in.

“Alright, alright, get Clarence off your lap. I’ll issue a royal pardon.”

“Thanks, man.”

The hero carefully lifts the squirrel off his lap with one hand as he stands up, placing him on the table. The squirrel curls up, still asleep, as the hero moves to put his dishes in the sink. The king stands too, following.

“Don’t worry about me.” The hero looks toward the king. “I’ll be alright.”

“You better be.” The king gives the hero a quick, one-armed hug. “I’ll see you when you get back, then. That’s a royal order.”

“Well shoot, now I have to come back.” The hero gives a cheeky grin.

The king shoves his shoulder playfully.

“Go save the world already, doofus.”

“Will do! See you later, King. I mean that.”

“See you.”

Finally, in the nursery, a man in a cowboy hat watches a nervous young man holding a baby. His arms are prepared to catch the baby if the young man drops her, but he doesn’t seem nearly as worried about it as the young man is.

“A-Are you sure I’m doing it r-right, Mr. Edgar?”

“Just Ed is fine, kid. And yes, you’re doin’ peachy. Annabelle ain’t even woke up yet, see?”

“I g-guess so.”

The young man rocks the baby cautiously, slowly. Despite himself, he smiles.

“She’s r-really cute.”

“Yep. Her mama brought her to me.”

“Oh no, wh-why?”

“She was only a teenager, and the dad was long gone.” The man in the cowboy hat sighs. “She couldn’t get help from her family, they were barely making ends meet as it was.”

“That’s s-so sad.” The young man tears up, looking at the tiny baby in his arms. “That’s not f-fair for her o-or her mom.”

“Most of the kids here ain’t had fair lives either.” The older man looks at the younger. “You ain’t had a fair life either, if I recall.”

The young man cringes slightly, curling in, self-conscious.

“I-I-I mean, I g-guess…b-but I mean, I’m not…I’m n-not a baby.”

“Nah, you ain’t a baby. But don’t make it fair.”

The young man looks down, staring through the child in his arms. The older man sighs again.

“Ya know, the sooner you accept that you didn’t deserve your cards, the sooner you’ll be able to shuffle the deck and grab new ones.”

A long pause.

“I-I don’t hate my dad. I d-don’t think I could. It feels like everyone w-wants me to, b-but I don’t.”

“I don’t think Annabelle hates her mama, either. That don’t make her situation fair.”

A long pause. The older man claps the shoulder of the younger.

“I keep tellin’ you this stuff all the time, huh? Sorry about that, kid. I’m just…waitin’ for you to figure it out, I guess.”

“Y-Yeah.”

“I ain’t no psychologist, but I’ll do my best to help ya out.”

“Y-Yeah. Um, can I p-put Annabelle down n-now?”

“Sure, right back in her crib, like I showed you before.” 

The young man lays the sleeping baby back in her crib, and she doesn’t so much as twitch as she’s put down. When he stands, he walks into the older man’s chest, putting his arms around him. The older man sputters a little in surprise, but recovers enough to hug back.

“You alright, kid?”

“I’ll figure it out. Eventually. It’s…it’s j-just hard.”

“I bet.” The older man squeezes the younger. “You’ll get there, you’ll figure out you’re a good kid one of these days.”

“Yeah.”

It’s an awkward, sad, strange moment, but neither pulls away for many moments.

Ego Inc. is plagued with awkward, sad, strange moments. But in them all is something sweet, after them all comes fun, love, kindness.

The bizarre family that is the egos is, through it all, still a family.

[the-canary]

Languages of Saints - C.R (9/10)

Summary: A deal isn’t supposed to involve feelings, right? (Reader/Carter Baizen).

Prompt: “Did you enjoy yourself last night?”

A/N: Can you believe we are close to the ending for this series? I have sort of an idea for the last chapter, but I don’t know yet if that will come with an epilogue addition. Things happen in this chapter, but they have to #sorrynotsorry.

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Embezzlement.

At max, embezzlement comes with a fine of $100,000 fine and potentially 25 years in prison in the state of New York, and while Carter might not face that completely -- he was an associate to Ellis’ misdeeds and could be potentially charged if this ever leaks out. Thus, he heads to his lawyers, which leads him directly to the board of directors of the majority of his companies -- no, charm can save him from the old men searching for blood.

It doesn’t help that before the meeting, he finds that Ellis had run away.

With a lot of conditions and blackmail, the board comes at him like vicious dogs but somehow lenient saints as well as they ask for payments of all their losses and his resignation as the CEO of all the companies that he owns. They smirk, but he is willing to give all up all of it as long as he’s out scott-free and with his signature in some pieces of paper -- he’s out, but at a price.   

Later on, Carter Baizen will think that for once in his life he’s a lucky bastard to have all the companies that he had gotten control of to be all privately owned and that they are all within that blasted 5-year audit period. However, the rich never forget a con-artist or liar, even if he isn’t one himself --ignoring his younger years--  as old funders and partners begin to leave him out to dry. The debt doubles and he knows that he has to find the son-of-bitch that put him in this mess to begin with.

Carter, for the first time in a long time, leaves New York City -- his running ground, his holy place-- in search of the man that messed all his plans up once more. It is a self-exile compared to the ones of his youth as he begins to wonder what he actually wants out of life with his close “friends” and most of his money gone once more.

Carter Baizen loses half of his empire in his mid-thirties, but he feels that this time he has so much more to gain -- he just needs to figure out what and as he heads towards the French Riviera, Carter can’t help but hope that a certain accountant will be able to forgive him for the choices made.

 “Wait, what ?”

It’s the only thing that Rocio can say, as she listens to her best friend curse and relent everything that has happened since she had left New York for the calmer parts of the East Coast. Somewhere deep down, she wants to laugh at the irony of it all, like she knew in her drunk haze that this would happen if all the right pieces came to be -- and look at what transpired. However, she silently seethes as her friend gets to the end of her story -- the things that Ellis Hayes told her, of what Carter might have actually wanted from her.

Rocio isn’t one to believe Ellis, even less Carter Baizen but there is something within her that just doesn’t seem to settle with that bit of information. However, before the call is over, her dear friend is a lot calmer than before, all ready having her own plan for a confrontation and questions for whenever she sees Carter Baizen again.  

Then, shit hits the fan a couple of days later, as Rocio hears through the grapevine that Carter Baizen has left the States and there was only ever one reason he did so. It’s in that moment, Rocio decides to get up and move from her own hideaway and towards something else, because she couldn’t let somethings go unfinished before they were given a chance, she was stubborn in that way.

Rocio turns to look at her sister with a crooked smile, as Violet stops and stares at her from behind her Gucci sunglasses.

“Vio, I think we need to head to Europe for a visit.”  

 You took the weekend to prepare what you were going to talk about and ask him about everything that Mr. Hayes had told you that night. As afraid as you were, you wanted to know if you were just toy for him to use and make fun of -- that would have been a lot easier than what had happened in reality. Carter Baizen dropped you cold turkey -- no more calls, no more meetings. His annoyance had come in and out of your life like a hurricane and in the aftermath you weren’t sure what you were going to do.

It would have been easier if it had been another woman, someone else dragging his attention away and could keep up with the type of lifestyle he lived in. You could live with the feelings growing within your chest if it had been that, hell even if he told you to your face that he had grown tired of you -- that you were a prude.

But, no it had to be something else and that’s what worried the hell out of you.

Carter Baizen has been removed as CEO of Baizen/Wyman Co. effective immediately. Internal reorganization of the company is currently in progress.  

That had been the internal memo sent to everyone in the middle of the week and you knew what that meant -- Mr. Baizen was gone, more than likely due to the numbers game that he had been playing and the new management was going to start laying people off. The one thing that you had sold yourself for all those months back was finally going to happen, but at a company wide level. People were in a panic and due to that came to you, as one of Mr. Baizen’s associates during his short tenure, wanted answers to what had happened and what was going to happen moving forward -- except you didn’t have any of the answers that they wanted to hear and for that you felt some retaliation on their part.   

She was awful chummy with Mr. Baizen back then.

Heard they went to galas together. Dressed to the nines.

You were too tired, and secretly heartbroken, to deal with the whispers of coworker so you often found yourself eating lunch in your office, while going through the numbers to give you something to think of something else besides the hell this company was going through. The company that had been your safe haven, the thing that held you down through every emotional hell you wanted to hide from was slowly turning into something else -- a place you wanted to leave, and you wanted to blame Carter Baizen for that too.

“So, what do you plan on doing about it?” you jump slightly to see Nick with his burrito and lunch sitting across from your desk, as you were unaware that you were speaking out loud this entire time. You stare at him with wide eyes, as he smiles at you. A friend you didn’t know you really had until everyone was giving him all the work that needed to be handed to you.

“I don’t know,” you shrug, as he sighs. Even if you didn’t know it, the man loved you like a sister and had seen more of your personality these past couple of months than in the five years he had been working with the company, but if there was one thing he hated was the hesitation that you showed when it come to certain aspects of your life. You were still young, you needed to bloom and it wasn’t here.   

“Well, I think you should leave,” he says with a smile, as you frown before Nick continues, “I think you have given this company enough of yourself. First, working all those years quitely under Wyman, then whatever you did with the Baizen guy.”

“I--did--”

“Don’t lie,” Nick reprimands you before taking a bite out of his apple, “I saw the numbers back in that meeting, only for nothing to happen -- only for you to take on all these new jobs. I don’t need to know what you did, but it stopped the inevitable for awhile.”

“I didn’t sleep with him,” you explain, embarrassed and defensive, as he simply nods.

“I never said you did,” Nick fights you back with a soft voice, as if he knows it was something else completely, “But, it changed you and I don’t think this company deserves all that you have given to it.”

“Then, what should I do?” you can’t help but ask, as Nick laughs. He shakes his head before going into talking about what he has been thinking about for awhile now, for both you and himself.

“Take everything you have learned and use it for something else,” Nick pulls out a card from his jacket pocket and hands it to you, “Make a difference.”

HYMAN’S INC. -- NONPROFIT CONSULTING

Nick gets up with his lunch, as you keep looking back from the small piece of paper with his husband’s last name to the smiling man, and states before leaving your office: “Think about it.”

You think about it, for a good long while with the pros and cons of leaving the company you have worked with since straight out of college graduation to leaving it for a newer company that deals with such a thing -- a concept you haven’t really thought of before. You do your research and think about your past. You make calls and polish your resume before meeting with Sam -- Nick’s husband and talking out what they want from you and that they have been looking for someone like you for quite awhile.

It’s isn’t exactly being an accountant, but it takes in all the values you had forgotten about and all the skills you had honed under Carter Baizen.

Before the new management gets the chance to do anything, you turn into your immediate resignation.

You might not know where Carter Baizen is and what he might have truly wanted with you, but even with the mixed bag of emotions you have towards him -- you can’t help but thank him for this new lease on life.

Finale

[distractedhistotech]

Spider Shaggy

I can’t sleep...So I decided to post a weird idea that occurred to me in the hopes it’ll calm my brain down.

At some point before Mystery Inc started running into men in masks, Velma convinced them to attend a science expo with her.  The rest of the gang finds it considerably less interesting, but they still try to stay interested for her.  At some point a weird spider (genetically modified or hit with radiation or something) ends up on Shaggy and bites him.  Maybe when Shaggy swipes at the spider it lands on Scooby and bites him too.

Shaggy thinks it’s a normal spider and doesn’t say anything.  Then a few hours later he’s feeling just awful and finally mentions it.  His parents bring him to the emergency room.  The gang takes Scooby to the vet because Shaggy wouldn’t stop asking about his sick dog.

Shaggy is released from the hospital a couple of days later, still feeling a bit weak and really hungry.  Scooby’s been released too.  After a couple of days of eating a ridiculous amount of food, Shaggy starts accidentally breaking doors and stuff,sticking to various surfaces, getting sensory overload, panics, and calls his friends for help.

The rest of the gang take it surprisingly well.  They make the connection to the spider, help Shaggy and Scooby stop sticking to stuff, get them some noise canceling headphones and dark glasses while they get used to their heightened senses, and come up with some exercises for the two to get used to their super strength.

Depending on what you think of Velma, she might be a mutant with super strength and does a lot more to help Shaggy and Scooby with the last one.

Eventually, Shaggy and Scooby get the hang of their new abilities, but don’t do crime fighting stuff.  The crime rate in Coolsville is pretty low so there’s no real need.  The most that Shaggy does with his powers is join the gymnastics team, and that was because the rest of the gang talked him into it because it’s yet another way to get used to his powers.

Now, Shaggy and Scooby got the horrible luck that goes with the powers, but it’s a lot less obvious when they’re just being normal teens.  It mostly manifests by making them late for things or losing things.  And then the gang goes on a road trip.

Mystery Inc. does not go looking for monsters and mysteries to solve.  They just want to do some sightseeing.  They even try avoiding places with high crime rates and the like.  They still somehow manage to run into every weirdo dressing up like a monster to commit some sort of crime.  That’ s not normal, and they are very confused as to how they just keep stumbling across them.

It isn’t until years later when Shaggy and Scooby (and Scrappy?) keep running into this sort of stuff while the rest of the gang has normal lives for anyone to start connecting the dots.  They may have checked to see if Shaggy and Scooby were cursed or something.  The two decide to just try and stay in Coolsville since staying in one place seems to keep the bad luck to a minimum, but whenever they go on a trip...

Now, onto some miscellaneous items.

Thanks to Spider-man’s super strength he has to eat a several times more food than a normal person.  This would go a long way to explaining why Shaggy and Scooby can eat so much.  This is also related to Spider-man’s high poison resistance, which would let Scooby eat things that normal dogs can’t normally eat, like chocolate and onions.

Part of the reason Shaggy and Scooby are so scared during cases is that their spider sense is going off most of the time.  It’s not the nasty ‘move or something bad is going to happen to you’ tingle.  It’s more of the ‘this is dangerous, you should probably get out of here before it escalates’ tingle.  It’s very stressful.

The reason Shaggy and Scooby get used as bait so often is because they are a lot less likely to get hurt.  They can probably avoid the traps (which are nonlethal anyway), and if the traps don’t work, they should be able to get away from the criminal.  Even if something does go wrong, they can soak up a lot more damage than a normal human, so they should be fine.

Shaggy does not have webshooters.  He has no interest in fighting crime, so the idea never came to him.  Plus, he does not have the background in chemistry and mechanics necessary to make them.  Maybe Velma does, but she doesn’t have a reason to do so.

I think that’s everything.  Let’s see if I can get to sleep now.

[providentially-demonic]

How Mystery Incorporated stopped being teenage sleuths and got more together than ever

Or: Their greatest case ever, the mystery of their hearts

This is a rambly ramble about how the Mystery Inc crew got together in a poly relationship, Inspired by this post by @cirilee about the gang and @phantoms-lair egging me on. This is less a story and more a overlong rambling headcanon. Enter at your own risk.

I just love them as clueless about everyone else's feelings

Except in my head it's more a never realizing how much their feelings have moved beyond friendship until something comes to a head... More or less accidentally. I mean they've always been there for each other and patched each other up and hell, slept in the same beds sometimes and they just have always looked out for each other and bandaged up hurts, both emotional and physical and just...

They've always been in each other's lives and...it's just they've always been this way and it's comfortable for them, always there with the others, always as a group. The thought of actually leaving the group behind is this nebulous unthinkable what-if that they really do their best not to think about ever.

And they're happy like this. Fred and Daphne have always been this sort-of couple and that's alright by them because that's the way they are, and it all remains the same way, the five of them in the van, in each other's pockets, always together.

And they're happy like this really, they all love each other in this quiet, non confrontational and unassuming way, not like this deep romantic lust type thing but always this flowing ever-changing... but at the same time static sort of way.

Until something happens that forces them out of the sense of complacency, the "this is the way it will always be” mindset.

I'm not sure what would be the catalyst to change it, unless it's like something like one of Daphne's sisters getting married and that starts of the inevitable parental, "Well you and Fred have been dating forever now. Are you two going to get married and settle down— blah bla blah" bit.

And like suddenly that nebulous, not to be thought of future is there, staring them in the face and it's scary.

It would just have to be something to force that future out of the unthinkable and suddenly there and no escaping it.

Y'know, something like that, with the parents talking about them settling down and having kids of their own and leaving the whole “always on the road with the group” behind. And like suddenly it's very real and it's somehow scarier than any monster or goon in a mask that they've faced.

Because, they can't see themselves without the others, it's like this empty yawning hole where love and friendship should be.

As the parental nagging gets more intrusive, it's looming up to swallow them and so not what they want and their reaction is to bolt, to grab their friends (can't leave the rest of the gang behind, it's part of that horrible unthinkable) and run, not on a case but just hitting the road and driving like a bat out of hell away from this looming hell.

And as scared as they are, it's scaring the others. Velma's not used to seeing the unshakable Daphne so wired and nervy and Fred is like this wire stretched to the point of breaking and she can tell if he snaps it's going to be horrible, so she confers with Shaggy, who's really weirded out by his friends acting like this. When they have actually gotten far enough away from the state that Fred can stop for gas without looking over his shoulder like he's waiting for something to jump out and grab him, they suggest getting a room for the night. Right away Fred and Daphne are kind of spooked, shying like horses at the thought, until Velma is like, 'we'll all share a room” and that seems to do the trick and some of that hair-trigger sense of fear is loosening.

So they all hunker down in this roadside motel; ugly old place but clean and has a large enough room for four people and a dog. Shaggy volunteers to go out for food because at this point, he and Scooby haven't eaten since a couple of roller dogs at that gas station, and almost immediately Fred and Daphne start to get a little wild-eyed, until Velma suggests they all go— they can get something to eat, all together and then bring snacks back to to the room. She's always been the level head and the practical one, and her suggestion is greeted with this almost scary relief from her friends.

And she's really worried now, because she's known them forever and this is just not the way they should be. not even in the midst of a case that scares them silly.Velma is smart and never can it be said that she's not observant.

So they go to this diner or something, you know, like a Denny's— that has those big round booths in the corners?

Where you can sit a whole bunch of people or four teenagers and a dog. So she sits on one side of the booth with Fred and Daphne in the middle between her and Shaggy and Scooby on the other side, where the only way to escape is to go over the table. It seems to work, Fred and Daphne are acting a little more normal, not as spooked and the ordering of food (and in the case of Shaggy and Scooby— everything on the menu) goes like it normally would.

And slowly, shs starts to ask questions, like, have they heard of a case around these parts, or will they be driving further in the morning (that's a resounding yes! from Fred and Daphne nodding emphatically) and she  goes on with where are we headed, is there a destination in mind?

Neither of them have thought this through, it's just that desperate need to run away.

So she asks about Daphne's folks cabin up in the mountains the next state over and that's a negative, but a thoughtful one, because, it's someplace their parents know they might go, and that's actually got them thinking now, instead of panicking. Where can we go where they won’t find us, sort of thing, but still thought.

Shaggy asks around a mouthful of food, “Well do we have to be anywhere? I mean it's early summer and we don't have plans or anything, so why not see where the road leads?” Velma's so relieved she could kiss him because that seems to be the right answer, because Fred and Daphne are relaxing now and starting to talk about places they would like to go.

"So long as some creep in a mask doesn't show up everywhere," Shaggy puts in and makes them laugh.

Her next clue comes as they’re leaving, when a couple who are in the whole coo and cuddle stage comes in, and are just being so sweet on each other it's like drowning in sugar syrup.

Fred and Daphne, who had been relaxing back into their old familiar sort of relationship thing suddenly become very conscious about not touching each other, and being suddenly a lot tenser. Just when they had gotten them acting somewhat normal!

This goes on all through getting snacks and taking them back to the room. Well, it's a double room so the usual thing would be for the girls to share a bed and the boys to share a bed, because while everyone knows Fred and Daph are a couple, it's just not the thing to do in this situation, not with the two of them acting like spooked horses ready to bolt at the first leaf that crosses their path.

So they all get ready for bed and when the lights go out Daphne is kind of edging a little further into Velma's side of the bed and says something about being afraid of nightmares, and so Velma holds her hand until Daphne relaxes and goes to sleep.

She wakes with octo Daphne, but she's surprisingly okay with that. She heard Fred and Shaggy whispering before she fell asleep— but wakes to find Shaggy awake and sitting up against the headboard with Fred tucked up against his side and Scooby curled around Fred.

Shaggy just gives her this kind of tired grin and tells her that Freddy finally fell asleep and he wasn't going to risk moving and waking him back up, so—

Anyway they hit the road again, and the farther away from home they get the better Fred and Daphne seem to be— they’re relaxed and starting to fall back into that comfortable camaraderie from before.

Velma is like this is good, just let them relax and eventually it'll come out, right?

She's maybe thinking that Fred and Daphne have gotten more serious in their relationship and well, she's okay with that, she's known how much they cared about each other for the longest time— and maybe they were nervous about telling her and Shaggy.

It's all good until they stop again for lunch. Middle of the day and busy pizza buffet, lots of hassled parents with hordes of kids in tow, and boom, the tension is back and now Fred and Daphne are not only actively avoiding touching each other, it's like they can't even speak to each other.

So instead of Fred and Daphne on one side of the table and her and Shaggy with Scooby on the other side, it's her and Freddy on one side, and Daphne across from her and Shaggy across from Fred. And a whole lot of not looking at each other involved.

Very worrisome.

Second stop is a repeat of the first night, only this time there's a lot more tension before they fall asleep and no talking.

Then they hit the road in the morning, all of them not having slept very well. Eventually. Fred is nodding at the wheel and the rest of them are starting to doze so Velma suggests they stop for some shut-eye. No hotels nearby or anything but just one of those little offshoots of road that just curves off a highway for a bit and then back on.

They pull over and rather than try to doze in uncomfortable seats, they make a sort of nest of blankets and bags in the back and all crawl in together, a sort of big puppy pile of sleepy humans and one dog.

Velma wakes up in the middle of this sandwiched between Fred and Daphne with Shaggy curled against Fred's back and Scooby on Daphne's other side. It's surprisingly nice being cuddled by two of them and she drifts back to sleep.

Fred wakes first this time and starts the van figuring when everyone else wakes up they should be by someplace that has a bathroom and food.

He's driving and the rest are all still piled in the back, but Velma sleepily crawls into the passenger seat next to him and asks what he's doing. He explains.

She's more than a bit still sleepy and she's just like, you are surprisingly clever and sweet sometimes, kisses his cheek and leans against his shoulder to drowse some more until they get there.

Fred is... well, kinda stunned.

That's a lot more affection than he ever expected from Velma and well, it's... really kinda nice.

Anyway, Fred winds up putting an arm around her shoulders to keep her from falling over if he has to brake. At the exit ramp, he glances back and sees Daphne has tucked herself up against Shaggy's chest, head buried under his chin and his arm loosely draped over her waist. Fred thinks to himself how relaxed and sweet they both look.

At the truck stop, there's a diner attached and he wakes everyone and says after they get cleaned up they can stop there for food.

Velma and Daphne head off to the ladies room and Fred and Shaggy to the mens.

Shaggy has some clue that something in seriously up with his friend at this point but he doesn't know how to bring it up. And frankly he’s a little afraid to, because he likes being with his friends but not like this. Not with Daphne and Fred acting all spooked and nervy.

So he just asks if Freddy has any idea where to head next, "Only no place spooky" he adds.

Fred laughs a little because that's so Shaggy, his best friend and confidant.

Just west, he tells Shaggy, because home is east and he wants to keep heading away from it. That part he doesn’t say aloud though.

Shaggy squeezes his shoulder and adds, “Wherever you want to go, man. You know we'll always follow you anywhere.”

Fred really doesn't know why that sentiment hits him so hard, but he finds a lump in his throat and suddenly hugs Shaggy tight.

Shaggy's not sure what to think, but he pats Fred on the back and just lets him stand there for a minute or two before awkwardly laughing and saying they better rejoin the girls or they'll think they fell in... or like encountered the slime monster of the truckstop bathroom or something.

Fred laughs and says that would be just their luck.

He hopes Shaggy doesn't see him scrub suspiciously damp eyes before they head out to find the girls.

The girls have already taken seats in one of the booths and are chatting with the waitress.

Fred and Shaggy join them and for a few moments everything feels normal, just the group of them together like this.

It's a realization for Fred. He doesn't want this to ever change and if he and Daphne bow the the nagging, it will, and not for the better, but he doesn't know what to do.

So when the waitress takes their orders, he clears his throat and admits, "I'm not sure what to do right now, but we can't go back home. Not now... maybe not ever."

Daphne looks like she wants to stop him but Velma catches her hand to shush her. She knew this had to come sooner or later and is just as glad it's sooner. "Why?" she challenges, knowing that Fred will alway rise to a challenge. It's part of what she lo— likes about him.

Freddy doesn't disappoint her this time either, looking down at his clenched hands and telling her— all of them, what happened, how Daphne's folks are pushing them toward marriage.

"Is that such a bad thing?" Shaggy asks. "I mean, we always kind of figured you guys would eventually."

Daphne, her hand so tight on Velma's that it hurts’ bursts out with, "You don't understand! Everything will change and not in a good way!"

Shaggy, doesn't quite get it, but Velma's putting two and two together.

"We'll still always be your freinds," she says slowly, watching Freddy carefully.

Fred, his shoulders tight, waves at the table and the four of them, "Not like this! Not as a couple and— friends, but all four of us together like we've always been!"

Velma is pretty sure she knows where this is going, but she wants confirmation. She needs to understand what's going through her friends minds. "How exactly would things change? What is it you want?"

Fred is the one that answers, for once sounding very unsure of himself. "I— I don't know exactly, but I know what they want us to do... they want us to settle down— stop going off on cases and— I don't know! Like—”

Daphne breaks in, her hand in Velma's just short of breaking bones. "I know what my parents want, they want me to be the model daughter and present them with perfect little grandchildren and be—” She shudders. "A stay-at-home mom, raising their perfect little brood.  I hate it and I WON'T!"

Shaggy shakes his head. "Like, why don't you tell them you don't want kids?"

"That's not even it, Shaggy, they want us to give up the whole—” she waves the hand not held in Velma's, "This! The going on cases with everyone, the being together all the time. Everything we do, they want us to forget it and be perfect little --- uugh!" Words seem to fail her and she thunks her forehead on the table once.

"Even if they want you to get married, like, why would this have to change things?" Shaggy asks.

Velma is just observing, calculating, and adding things up in her head.

"We wouldn't stop being friends just ‘cause you get married and, like, you guys are old enough you don't have to do anything they tell you, right?"

If things are going the way Velma sees them going, they'll have to explain this to Shaggy later. Scooby is quiet beside Shaggy, looking like he's at a tennis match, his head turning back and forth to track on the speaker.

"So you want things to remain the same?" Velma asks quietly, her gaze unwavering on Fred's face.

"Yes," he admits, then shakes his head, "No— I don't know. It's complicated. I just don't want them to dictate what I can do, who I have to be who I love—” He stops himself there, red rising on his cheeks and a surprised look in his eyes, like he didn't mean to say that at all.

"Wait, like, you don't love Daphne, man? I— I thought you two were like always meant for each other," Shaggy says.

Velma steps on his foot under the table and he shuts his mouth with a surprised yelp.

Fred is turning even redder now, his hands tearing a napkin to shreds. He seems to be struggling to find words, his mouth opening and closing without a sound coming out for a long moment.

At last he shakes his head. "I— I do love her, but— but—”

"But that's not all," Velma supplies. "She's not all you love... or all that she loves... Am I right?"

Daphne's head snaps around to look at her like it's on a gimbal, going pale. “Wha—?”

It’s all the verification Velma needs. She understands. Even though it’s not something— well, something society would accept, she’s found in all of this that she’s not opposed to it. They— well, they've all loved each other for a long time, as best friends and found family, as— she can’t really quantify it, and for once in her life, that’s okay. She’s not sure how it will work, but she wants to see, and not for the scientific curiosity.

Velma turns her attention on Fred. He’s the leader of their little group and the one they will always follow. She has to get him to say it, to make the first move in this. She meets his eyes, holding them with her unwavering stare. “So— if you want all four of us together, what are you going to do about it?”

Daphne’s jaw is agape. It’s pretty clear she doesn’t believe what she’s hearing.

Fred’s jaw tightens. “I don’t want to lose what we have,” his voice is quiet and a muscle jumps in his cheek.

“Just the four of us continuing on, going on cases together, like it’s always been?” Velma knows she’s toeing a dangerously thin line, but suddenly it’s not just Fred and Daphne filled by this desperation. She’s feeling it too.

“Yes,” Fred says and for a second her heart is so far up in her throat she can’t swallow. “And no. I want that, yes, but— but there’s more I want, but I don’t know—”

“How to ask for it?” Velma finishes. Her hands, even the one in Daphne’s white-knuckled grip, are shaking.

Fred is staring at her like he’s never seen her before and that gives her some more of that confidence she had when she was half asleep in the van. She catches his fidgeting hand and pulls it up to place a kiss on the palm, looking him dead in the eye.

All of the air escapes Fred in one shocked breath.

Daphne seems to have lost all capability for words, but actions speak louder when she lets go of her grip on Velma’s aching hand...

And slides it around Velma’s waist to pull her close against her side.

Right about then the waitress comes with their food and the release of tension is almost palpable. Daphne giggles weakly and Fred muffles a snort while Velma descends into hiccupping laughter. Shaggy still plainly doesn’t get it, but the arrival of food has his attention.

While Velma tries to get her hiccups under control and Shaggy devours everything on his plate in an astonishingly short amount of time, Daphne slides out of the booth and gets up on her knees in the empty booth behind Fred and Shaggy, leaning her folded arms on the back of the booth and looks Fred in the eye.

“You really want that— this?”

Fred nods and she leans in to give him a quick kiss, color coming back into her cheeks. She grabs Shaggy’s cheeks and turns his head to face her, and stopping his startled “Wha—?” mid-breath with a solid kiss.

She is laughing in pure, glorious relief as she flicks the end of Shaggy’s nose gently with a fingertip and tells him, “I’ve wanted to do that for a long, long time.”

Shaggy is dumbfounded and slides down in the seat, only Fred’s hand on his arm keeping him from turning into a confused puddle on the floor. Fred hauls him back up and in a moment of daring that he probably wouldn’t have felt in public if it weren't for the sudden, overwhelming relief, kisses him on the corner of the mouth. Shaggy stutterers something and leans on Scooby for support while his brain tries to catch up. He’ll catch on, they’re sure, and they’ll be there to help.

Fred climbs out of the booth and goes to Velma’s side of the booth and tips her head up for a kiss, what he knows will be the first of many shared between all of them.

“Thank you,” he tells her, eyes conveying what two words cannot, the depths of his gratitude for everything she’s done, from allowing him and Daphne the chance to run until their fears were a little less all-consuming, to forcing them to confront their thoughts and desires. It's little enough, and they both know there will be challenges ahead, but they will all four face them, together.

“Rout rime,” Scooby opines, and applies himself to his food, but his tail is beating a tempo of happiness against the back of his seat.

[mxgyver]

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.  I was tagged by Nia @aqhrodites and Alex @vivaldei!

LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My little brother  3. Text message: My group members from class  4. Song you listen to: Faith // George Michael  5. Time you cried: This morning 

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: No  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope  8. Been cheated on: No  9. Lost someone special: Yeah, my grandpa  10. Been depressed: I don’t think so honestly 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Haven’t had enough alcohol at once to do that 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. Burgundy  13. Blue (any shade really)  14. Heather grey 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yeah!  16. Fallen out of love: No  17. Laughed until you cried: Definitely  18. Found out someone was talking about you: Nope  20. Found out who your friends are: I already knew who my friends were  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Lmao no 

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most of them except for a few.  23. Do you have any pets: Yeah. I have 5 dogs.  24. Do you want to change your name: If and when I eventually get married, I’m definitely changing my last name to my future husband’s.  25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Not much. Just went out to lunch with my mom and I think a little shopping.  26. What time do you wake up: I try to wake up at around 7:30 each morning, but as of late, my sleep schedule is so fucked that it’s not happening lol  27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Finally going to bed  28. Name something you can’t wait for: Financial stability and finally finishing college  29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: Earlier this week  30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My wardrobe & love life  31. What are you listening to right now: My fan making my room cooler  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Briefly. My parent’s have a friend name Tom and I only said a few words to him.  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Tbh what isn’t? I’ve been more irritable than normal lately. Drama on this hellsite, my family, school, etc.  34. Most visited website: Tumblr, YouTube, Twitter, Facebook  35. Mole/s: I don’t have any  36. Mark/s: A lot of scars. One on my right arm, the back of my left hand, a few on each knee, on my right foot. A few stand-out freckles on my face, fingers and arms.  37. Childhood dream: Olympic softball player and mom  38. Hair color: Brown with natural blonde-ish highlights  39. Long or short hair: Longer, but not too long  40. Do you have a crush on someone: A celebrity? Totally. A celebrity’s not as famous friend? You betcha. A non-celebrity? Lol no  41. What do you like about yourself: That I have a good heart.  42. Piercings: Standard ear piercings and one cartilage on my left ear. I want to get my nose pierced though sooo that might happen soon.  43. Blood type: I don’t know it. I mean, I got blood work done a few years ago, but I never found out my blood type.  44. Nicknames?: Only a few family members and close friends call me CC and that’s it.  45. Relationship status: Single af  46. Zodiac: Libra  47. Pronouns: she/her  48. Favorite TV Show: MacGyver, Bones, Castle, CSI, Friends, NCIS, NCIS: New Orleans, The Flash & a bunch more 50. Right or left hand: I’m left-handed  51. Surgery: Does getting my wisdom teeth taken out count  52. Hair dyed in different color: I haven’t dyed my hair in almost 2 years. I used to dye it reeaaallly dark brown or black for a while.  53. Sport: I’ve played softball, soccer, and volleyball. Softball for 10 years, soccer for 7 years, and volleyball for 2 years.  55. Vacation: Dream vacation would be Spain, Greece, Italy, or Portugal.  56. Pair of trainers: I have so many pairs of shoes, yet I wear the same pair almost every day. My Vans Sk8-his. 

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: just finished eating waffle-cut french fries  58. Drinking: water  59. I’m about to: Watch a YouTube video & go feed my mom’s horse.  62. Want: A different job that doesn’t occasionally give me anxiety/put me on edge thinking about it.  63. Get married: Absolutely.  64. Career: I’ve been doing a lot of second-guessing lately. But I think I still want to be a nurse? If not, maybe a teacher or something  65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs. I’ve never been kissed soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes  67. Shorter or taller: I find taller people more attractive. I also sometimes wish I was just a bit shorter.  68. Older or younger: As long as the person is of legal age and not too young (like 3 years) or too old (no more than like 7 years... maybe), I’m cool with it.   70. Nice arms or nice stomach: It doesn’t matter that much tbh   71. Sensitive or loud: Both  72. Hook up or relationship: Preferably a relationship  73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Why not both ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: Nope  75. Drank hard liquor: Only sips  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear them  77. Turned someone down: Nope.  78. Sex on the first date: Ehhh I mean if it happens, it happens I guess  79. Broken someone’s heart: Lol me? No way  80. Had your heart broken: Not really. I was upset and disappointed.  81. Been arrested: No  82. Cried when someone died: Yeah.  83. Fallen for a friend: He was my friend until high school, then he stopped talking to me for some reason. He’s a little bitch anyway 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84: Yourself: Sometimes  85. Miracles: A little  86. Love at first sight: No, in my opinion, you have to get to know someone before you can love them.  87. Santa Claus: I did for a while, not anymore though. Sometimes I wish he were real    88. Kiss on the first date: If the feeling is right, then yeah 

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Katie, Amanya, Haven, Heather (even though some of us aren’t as close as we used to be, I still consider them bffs)�� 91. Eye color: Brown  92. Favorite movie: Footloose, The Sandlot, Monster’s Inc., Toy Story Trilogy, Back To The Future Trilogy, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Indiana Jones, X-Men: First Class, X-Men: Apocalypse, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Proposal, Wonder Woman, and a lot more 

tagging: @scooterspring, @skywalkingdixon, @pizzaplanethq, @destinies-are-troublesome-things, @antiopeofthemyscira, @wyattoliwablazkowicz, @rax-writes​ and anyone else who wants to do this! you don’t have to if you don’t want to because I understand that this is a lot to answer

[creativesage]

(via A step-by-step guide on how to choose, make, and keep New Year’s resolutions – Harvard Gazette)

Moving forward, even slowly, puts your goals within reach.

A 12-step guide to keeping those resolutions

As the holiday music fades and the time to pay the resolutions piper comes due, let Harvard experts make the transition a little easier. Don’t know where to start? You can try the 1 percent performance improvement method. Stressed at the prospect of a lifestyle change? Practice mindfulness and find out how meditation can lead to a “better brain” in just eight weeks. Want to extend that? Learn what 80 years of Harvard research has to say about living a longer and happier life.

Still not sure what will suit you best? Pick a topic from the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health’s Nutrition Source, where you’ll find advice that goes far beyond your plate and that first cup of coffee in the morning.

The key is to choose your New Year’s resolution, and make it happen. MacKenzie Kassab, a former contributor to the Division of Continuing Education’s Professional Development website, put together a 12-month plan for making — and keeping — resolutions filled with the advice of experts from Harvard and beyond.

Let’s take a look.

January: Ready, set, goal

This is it: the time to think ahead about where — and who — you want to be this year.

“I don’t think there’s such a thing as a goal too big,” says Margaret Andrews, president of Mind and Hand Associates consulting firm and an instructor for the Harvard Division of Continuing Education.

So reach for the stars! But remember, even astronauts have to contend with bad weather. “You have to think about your ecosystem,” Andrews says. What external factors could prevent you from reaching your goal?

You might resolve to eat healthy foods and lose five pounds around your midsection. That’s reasonable enough. But how will you cope with those 3 o’clock sugar cravings? What will you do when your oblivious spouse stocks the cabinet with cookies and chips? Is there something beyond your control that could be a barrier to success? Keep it in mind, but don’t get discouraged.

“Consider what you need to start doing or stop doing, and anticipate obstacles,” Andrews says. “If you don’t think about it now, then you’ll have no willpower in that moment.” Have a strategy in place, and you’ll be on your way to reaching that goal in no time.

February: Commit to a process

You’ve set your sights on a goal. Now, devise a plan.

Entrepreneur and author of “Atomic Habits” James Clear recently told Inc. magazine that simply setting a goal is the first step on the road to unhappiness.

“You’re essentially saying, ‘I’m not good enough yet, but I will be when I reach my goal.’ The problem with this mindset is that you’re teaching yourself to always put off happiness and success until the next milestone is achieved,” Clear says.

Instead, he suggests focusing on a process, not the end result. Deconstruct your goal into productive, workable actions.

Finding a new job is a common resolution. But the hunt can be daunting. To make it more manageable, establish a schedule: send out two résumés a week, or attend one networking event a month.

By celebrating small victories, the journey becomes as meaningful as the destination.

March: Find your motivation

“There’s no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to motivation,” Andrews says. “Some people go whole hog, and others ease themselves in. You really have to know yourself and what works for you.”

This is the time to explore what lights your fire. If your goal is to run a marathon, you might find the most encouragement in rewarding small wins. Reach 10 miles, book yourself a massage.

If that doesn’t work for you, see if a picture of Usain Bolt on the refrigerator is enough to keep you moving. Explore tactics until you find one that fits, and don’t be afraid to get creative.

April: Shout your intentions

If your ambition is waning, proclaim your intentions from the rooftops. Text friends, email close colleagues, or call your mom.

“When we advertise our desire to change, we are openly risking failure, putting our reputation and self-respect on the line,” says Marshall Goldsmith, executive coach and author of “Triggers.” “It’s the difference between betting on ourselves with hard-earned cash and settling for a friendly no-money wager.”

Encouragement is a positive byproduct — most people will want to see you succeed, and some may even offer support or guidance.

A Harvard study, almost 80 years old, has proved that embracing community helps us live longer, and be happier.

May: Question everything you’re doing

One of Goldsmith’s “magic moves” for changing behavior is daily self-questioning. He suggests composing a list of queries that encourage reflection.

Someone aiming to gain three new clients this year might ask, “Did I do my best to generate leads today?” Meanwhile, someone who wants a heftier savings account could inquire, “Did I do my best to avoid unnecessary spending today?”

There are no rules, other than tracking progress with the same questions each day, and just one suggestion: starting each question with “Did I do my best to …”

“This phrase injects personal ownership and responsibility into the Q&A process,” he says.

June: Reassess your goals

You’re halfway through the year, and your goal is in sight! Or perhaps not. If things aren’t going as planned, reconsider your strategy and be honest about what your resolution is worth to you.

“Someone I know was trying to lose weight, and she was told she’d need to cut out her nightly glass of wine,” Andrews says. “She knew herself well enough to say, ‘That’s a pleasant part of my life, and I’m not willing to give it up.’ She found other ways to compensate.” Look at which tactics have been less effective to this point, and explore other ways of reaching your goal. Maybe you add 15 minutes to your workout but keep the pinot noir.

Tweaking your expectations might also be acceptable. “You may want to be the weight you were at 18, but are you really willing to do everything required to get there?” asks Andrews. Fitting into a snug pair of jeans from last year might be a reasonable compromise, especially once you’ve seen what success demands.

July: Find support

There’s a reason support groups exist for everything from addiction to breastfeeding: There’s power in numbers. Social support can be instrumental to accomplishing goals.

“Hang with the right crowd and their success can inspire us to think, ‘If they can do it, I can too!’” says Piers Steel, the researcher behind “The Procrastination Equation.”

Find an organization whose mission aligns with yours, whether it’s Weight Watchers, Habitat for Humanity, or the Society of Women Engineers. A gap in the market is a great excuse to create your own goal-oriented group, which might be just a handful of colleagues sharing professional growth strategies over dinner. “Giving up or continuing to strive — both are contagious,” Steel says.

August: Get energized

All goals, personal or professional, require adequate energy. Unfortunately, things like stress, caffeine, alcohol, and late nights can sap stamina. Willpower and motivation are often the next to go.

A lifestyle overhaul is extreme, but minor changes add up. First, purge your living or workspace of distractions, whether that means clearing clutter from your desk or uninstalling the Facebook app from your phone. Steel advises “strategically allocating” limited energy reserves. Less mess, literal or figurative, equals more mental focus.

Next, determine when you’re most efficient, and dedicate part of that time to meeting your goal. Are you a morning person striving to become fluent in French? Put on Radio France Internationale while getting ready for work. Is your head clearest in the afternoon? Pull out les leçons on your lunch break.

And don’t neglect your mental and physical health. “Your energy stores are a limited resource, so actively replenish them,” Steel says. That means nurturing your well-being — and getting a good night’s sleep.

September: See results

Close your eyes. Now, imagine meeting your goal. Are you holding a gold medal? A bigger paycheck? A jaw-dropping baked Alaska? According to Steel, “The detailed mental re-creation of a performance engages mirror neurons that engrave the act in your brain almost as deeply as if you were actually practicing it.”

The next — and most important — step is called mental contrasting: visualizing where you are today, with an empty trophy case, bank account, or oven. “The result will be that your present situation becomes framed as an obstacle standing in the way of your dreams,” says Steel.

Contrasting where you are and where you want to be sparks exactly the motivation most people need to spring into action.

October: Get inspired

Bill Gates reads a reported 50 books a year. In fact, the Microsoft co-founder is so passionate about reading that he started the GatesNotes blog to post reviews of his favorite titles. “Shoe Dog,” by Nike’s Phil Knight, is at the top of the list. “Knight opens up in a way few CEOs are willing to do,” writes Gates. “He tells his story as honestly as he can. It’s an amazing tale.” And an inspiring one, even for one of the world’s most powerful men.

Books and movies can provide the encouragement we can’t always get from people around us. “Rocky” gives hope to the underdog. “The Pursuit of Happyness” suggests that anything’s possible. Search for plots that strike a chord. “The most effective [biographies] will resonate with your own background,” Steel says.

Not everyone can plow through a book a week, but motivational speeches and podcasts stream from all corners of the internet. “Great athletes, heroes, and entrepreneurs regularly speak about their experiences,” says Steel. “Seek them out.”

Get inspired on your morning commute, and you’ll be surprised what you can accomplish throughout the day.

November: Ask for help

Another of Goldsmith’s magic moves is asking for help. “Few people will refuse your sincere plea,” he says. “Asking for help sustains the change process, keeps it moving forward.”

When you hit a stumbling block, call on friends who’ve accomplished similar goals or on your professional mentor. Most people will be honored you came to them for support.

And when you’re ready to wave the white flag, call in the experts. There are resources to support just about every ambition, from amateur cooking classes to professional development programs. Even Beyoncé worked with a vocal coach to reach her goal of world domination.

December: Applaud success — or lessons learned

The end of the year is a time to reflect on progress toward your goal or to pat yourself on the back for achieving it.

Is there any shame in not fulfilling a resolution? “It depends on the goal,” says Andrews. “If it’s to stop doing something abusive to yourself or someone else, it’s probably not a good one to give up on. Or it might turn out your goal wasn’t really what you were going after. You know what? It’s your life, and you get to decide that. Failure isn’t failure if you learn something from it. It’s just a way station on the way to success.”

Contemplate this year’s obstacles and processes, and rework your strategy for next year. There’s rarely a deadline for prosperity.

Ready to start?

Develop your personal plan for meeting your resolutions with a 12-month worksheet you can download here.

[Entire post — click on the title link to read it at the Harvard Gazette.]

***

You’re working on your goals, and your team’s goals. We can help you spring into action and develop a real plan that you can implement in a smart way, so you’ll start seeing results immediately, before you feel discouraged. If you feel that you’ve already gone off-track, we can help you get your focus, courage, and motivation back.

At  Creative Sage™, we often coach and mentor individual clients, as well as work teams, in the areas of change management, building resilience, making personal, career or organizational transitions — including to retirement, or an “encore career” — and facilitating development of leadership, creativity and collaboration capabilities. We also work with clients on work/life balance, finding purpose and meaning, focus and productivity issues, and how to present themselves and their ideas more effectively in professional situations.

We guide and mentor executives, entrepreneurs, intrapreneurs, artists, and creative professionals of all generations, to help them more effectively implement transition processes, and to become more resilient in adjusting to rapid changes in the workplace — including learning effective coping techniques for handling failure, as well as success. We work with on-site and virtual teams.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you would like to discuss your situation. You can also call us at 1-510-845-5510 in San Francisco / Silicon Valley. Let’s talk! An initial exploratory phone conversation is free. When you talk with me, I promise that I’ll always LISTEN to you with open ears, mind and heart, to help you clarify your own unique path to a higher vista of success.

              ~Cathryn Hrudicka, Founder, CEO and Chief Imagination Officer of Creative Sage™, Executive Coach, Consultant, and Mentor.

***

[tialovestelevision]

New Moon Rising

Oz episode time! Okay then. I’ve missed Oz, but Tara’s around and… I’ve got a bad feeling about this. 1. We open on Tara and Willow talking about cats. Willow likes dogs, but also likes cats. Tara wants to name her Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tara wants her room to be Willow-friendly. They’re on their way to a Scooby meeting. 2. I actually really don’t like the “Scooby” name for Buffy’s friends. The group in Scooby-Doo is called Mysteries, Inc. Scooby isn’t the leader of the group; Fred and Daphne are. Scooby exists to drain the team’s finances by eating entire restaurants of food at a time and to act as bait for their traps. If I did have to parallel Buffy cast members to Scooby-Doo characters, I’m pretty sure I’d have to mark Xander as Scooby. Anya would probably be Shaggy, though Riley also kinda qualifies. Willow and Buffy would be Daphne and Fred, and Giles would be Velma. Riley might actually be Scooby Dum. To figure out who Scrappy is, we’d have to have Buffy and Giles leave the show and see who suddenly arrived and annoyed us all. It would probably be Jonathan. 3. Nothing’s been going on during Buffy’s patrols. Giles thinks Adam is planning something. Riley says the Initiative’s been all Initiativey, though, with a ton of captures. And… huh. Anya is sitting in Xander’s lap, but Willow and Tara are barely touching, and the two couples are sitting next to each other. On the other hand, there’s absolute electricity between Willow and Tara. 4. Anya and Giles are arguing, then a door opens and everyone stares. It’s Oz. He says “Hey.” I have missed his one-word one-liners. 5. Tara looks hurt. Oz just got back. He’s sorry for not calling and writing. Giles doesn’t want them to bombard Oz with questions. Riley looks… something. Oz wants to talk to Willow tonight. He’ll come by Willow’s place. He left the room. Tara looks immensely sad. Anya points out that everyone's uncomfortable now. Tara is leaving for study group. Willow doesn’t want Tara to go. 6. Now Riley and Buffy are talking about Oz while they walk. They beat a demon, but the Initiative is too busy to pick it up immediately. Buffy is trying to tell the Oz story without mentioning moons, howling, or potential for violent bloody death and mayhem. She let it slip, though, and now Riley is being all offensive and stuff. I’m terrified for the day Riley meets Angel. 7. Oz is at Willow and Buffy’s room. Willow looks like someone put an axe in her mind while bypassing her skull. He invited her outside. Now they’re taking a walk. It’s the full moon. He’s not changing, and it’s the full moon. Willow is asking how. It’s a long story. Now they’re hugging. Now Willow looks confused. Xander told Oz Willow has no new guy. Oz lives in a heteronormative world. God, this is going to be a sucktastic episode. 8. The Initiative found a werewolf. They’re getting kicked around but good, and one’s getting eaten. 9. Oz was in Tibet and bartering. Willow and Oz are talking. He learned about keeping his inner cool. Herbs, chanting, charms, and inner cool keep him from changing. Amy’s cage is still in the room. They talked all night. Willow needs to call Tara. Oz wants to sleep over. Willow will have the less confusing waffles. 10. Oh god it’s Tara at the door and Oz opened it. Tara is badly hurt. God, this sucks. I really like Tara. Willow is back in the room. Oz told Willow Tara came by. 11. Buffy and Riley are in Riley’s bed. She’s staying over at Riley’s place a lot. No pants, and I think no underwear, on either of them. Riley is doing pushups. He’s put on sweatpants. The pushups aren’t regulation. He’s managed to piss Buffy off. He sounded like Mr. Initiative. Riley’s about to find out that one of his guys got taken out, and to go on a hunt. 12. Oz isn’t in the room when Buffy gets back, but willow is. Buffy doesn’t want to talk about her fight with Riley. Buffy knows Oz got somewhat de-wolfed. “No, there’s woo, and hoo, but there’s uh-oh, and “why now?” and “It’s complicated.” Willow just kinda came out to Buffy. Buffy is not handling it as well as she should be. Buffy keeps saying Willow’s name oddly, because she’s freaked. She says she’s not and she’s obviously trying not to be, and she is obviously happy for Willow. Willow doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but… wow, good advice from the Slayer. “No matter what you do, someone’s gonna get hurt. You just have to be honest, or it’s gonna be a lot worse.” 13. Spike is sleeping on a sarcophagus… wow, that’s uncomfortable-looking. Adam came to visit him. He hurt his hand punching Adam. Adam just offered to help Spike with his problem if Spike helps Adam with Adam’s problem. 14. Willow is talking to Tara, and trying to be honest. Willow is starting to cry and so’s Tara and it’s going to hurt to have this conversation no matter what happens in it and yeah this hurts. Tara told Willow to do what makes her happy. 15. Oz just sniffed the air and called to Willow but it was Tara walking past. “I thought I sm… heard Willow.” Oh god. Oz is being super creepy. “You smell like her. She’s all over you, you know that?” He’s being actively scary. And screaming at Tara. I think he’s looking at changing. Yep. His hand just changed. He told Tara to run. He’s going wolfy in the middle of the day, and chasing Tara. In a classroom. She’s kind of cornered. Threw a chair at hi and knocked him out of the air… no, he got darted by Riley. They’re taking Oz into custody and Tara’s inability to speak when she’s nervous (I expect we’ll be getting story about that at some point) kept her from telling them that the “demon” they just took is a person. 16. Spike is talking to Adam. Spike thinks Adam’s plan sounds fun. Adam says that total annihilation of the humans doesn’t help him. Adam needs heavy casualties on both sides, and thinks that Buffy needs to be wherever this fight’s going to happen to give the humans a champion. Okay… Adam was actually funny here. “This goes down, the chip comes out, right? No tricks?” “Scout’s honor.” “You were a Boy Scout?” “Parts of me.” Not very funny, but I chuckled. 17. Tara found Willow. She told Willow what happened to Oz. Willow went to Giles’s place to tell them. Riley’s not answering Buffy’s calls, so she’s going to break into the Initiative to get Oz out. 18. In the Initiative, Riley was about to shoot Oz but he turned back into a human. Now he’s receiving medical tests and Riley’s trying to talk to him but he’s drugged. Riley’s being removed from the testing area. And the Initiative blasted Oz with lightning and changed him back. They’re getting bad info about werewolves by testing on a nonstandard werewolf. 19. They’re making plans to get into the Initiative. Willow, Buffy, and Xander want to go, but Buffy’s credentials have been erased. Spike comes in and offers them the back way. Spike sells his offer as revenge against the Initiative. 20. Riley just went to Oz’s cell. I think he’s trying to break him out. But the building lit up… Riley got caught sneaking Oz out. Now they’re both in trouble. Forrest: “End of the line.” 21. Riley’s locked in a cell. Not one of the glass ones demons are put in, a normal one. The Colonel is yelling at him, and is going to put him under court martial. He thinks the Slayer is an anarchist. He wants Riley to help him destroy Buffy, or he’ll label him a traitor. 22. Spike, Buffy, Willow, and Xander are at the back door of the Initiative. Adam has hacked the building and unlocked it for them. He has a phone cord plugged into his head. Anya and Giles are trying to hack the electrical grid. Either Adam or Anya just shut down power to the Initiative. The Initiative… is on public power grids. Does anyone reading this understand how absurd that is? Anya and Giles share a high five, then decide they don’t like high fives. By the by? I’d buy Anya/Giles more than I do Anya/Xander. Their chemistry is more natural. 23. Buffy and Xander broke into the Colonel’s bedroom and threatened him with a crossbow, which also let Buffy learn that Riley’s in the brig. She ordered the Colonel to get dressed. Buffy is terrifying at infiltration. They’ve got Riley out of his cell, but have been stopped on the way to Oz by Initiative soldiers. Oz has been let out of the cell, but is starting to change again. He’s having a hard time controlling it around Willow. Now they’re trying to escape the Initiative. They got out through the dorm, and Riley told the Colonel that he’s an anarchist. 24. Now they’re all hiding out in different places. Buffy and Riley are in the school ruins. They’re talking about their reactions to Oz and to Tara. Buffy’s going to tell Riley about Angel. 25. Oz and Willow are in Oz’s van. Oz says that Willow brings the wolf out of him. Oz is going to leave town. That’s a good idea, not just because he can’t keep his upset that his girlfriend moved on when he left her suddenly from turning him into a murder beast but because a group of commandos backed by the American government believes he killed one of their members. There’s a bit in that scene I’ll get into in my conclusion, as well. 26. Willow comes to Tara’s room with an extra flamey candle. “Tara, I have to tell you…” “No, I understand. You have to be with the person you love.” “I am.” Overall: The last scene of that episode is probably the sweetest thing the franchise has had to this point. Amber Benson shifts from wounded to a frightened sort of jubilant in such a smooth, steady way that it’s whatever the opposite of heartbreaking is to watch. I said I’d get to a bit from the last Willow-Oz scene here, so here I am at it. Oz says something about turning into a wolf, and Willow says that it’s her fault because she makes him angry, and he replies, “Yes, because that’s never going to happen again.” This is immensely problematic. Oz’s anger is not Willow’s fault, here. He left indefinitely. She met someone while he was gone. When he left, it was without them discussing how their relationship would work with him gone, and he did not leave a way to contact him. Then he does a big set of theatrics when he gets back to drop a huge piece of information on her, and data gets lost because that’s how people work. Oz’s anger is Oz’s problem, and it’s borderline abusive to move it onto Willow. Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson are both great throughout this story. Tara’s stutter, her shyness, her utter fascination with Willow… they all shine here. And Willow’s confusion and hurt and love for both Tara and Oz are obvious and pretty much perfectly portrayed. This hurt to watch, but it mostly hurt because it was landing where it wanted to. Adam and Riley comments: These two are the core of the season arc, and what of the season arc happened here mostly stayed out of the way of the episode story. Adam is growing on me very, very slowly, and there’s not enough season left for me to come to like him much at all at the rate he’s managing to grow. He’s only now, I think, caught up with Maggie Walsh in the Interesting Villain Race, which leaves him way behind the Master, Spike, Drusilla, Angel, Faith, and the Mayor. He’s behind Mr. Trick. It’s that bad. Riley, meanwhile, had a good showing here, but he’s still… I dunno. I don’t want to say “Boy Scout” because people think of Superman when you say that about a heroic character and I actually like Superman. Huh… he’s insufficiently Boy Scout for how Boy Scout he is. He’s too corruptible to be incorruptible and too incorruptible to be interesting. I get a Faith two-parter on Angel next. THAT, I’m looking forward to.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

New to the AU? Start here!

Part1 Part2

Chapter 40.75: Step the FUCK Up Kyle!

The two arrive at the venue after everyone thanks to Jin’s portal express. Seeing everyone have fun sparked joy and even more excitement for the future. There was no gift or money giving because both of us were well off and just wanted everyone to attend. No garter toss because Tenya drinks respect women juice but I did toss the bouquet. That turned out to be a disaster because Pixie Bob, Midnight and some of the other single heroes were fighting each other for it. Then came my favorite part, the couples dance. We danced to Around by Niki with a slide-show of pictures on the screen behind us. We did a bunch of fancy floating moves with our quirks and we finally had our slow dance kiss at the end. Then came cake, it was almost too pretty to eat and I got a little dodgy when we were supposed to feed a piece to each other. The wedding photographer unfortunately captured all that nervousness but it was funny to look back at. I did so much dancing and drinking with my agent friends that Tenya had to take care of me toward the end of the night. We said our goodbyes and thank yous before going home.

“Tenya! I love you bitccchhh!” I was drunkenly serenading him.

“I know you do”

“I’m never gonna stop loving you, bitccchhhhh!”

Tenya was trying to undo the straps on my dress “Hold still, I’m trying to get you out of your dress.”

“Oh I’ll just-” I teleport out of my dress with just my underwear on “oops, I’m nakey hehehe.”

“Ah so that’s how you do it” he finally figured out my secret to fast undressing and dressing “you teleport in and out of clothes!”

“Yup” I teleport out of my underwear “now I’m true nakey” I throw myself onto Tenya “I’m not a virgin but I want you to do me like one.”

“No darling, you’re drunk” he took off his suit jacket “but if you wait a bit, we can bathe together.”

“Will you wash my hair?”

“Yes”

“Will you take off my makeup?”

“Of course, I’ll even do your skincare” He hoisted her up and took her to the bath “you want me to braid your hair after?”

“Yes please” I respond as I watch him make the bath “would you still love me if I was a boy?”

“Yes of course!” Tenya looked at her “I fell in love with the person you are.”

“Would you still love me if I wasn’t rich or successful?”

“I loved you before the riches and success, regardless, my heart is yours.”

The bath was ready and I didn’t have anymore questions, just too much affection as he tried to bathe me. I didn’t even remember what I said when I was drunk, I blacked out at the venue when Mimi and I pounded shots while the DJ played some oldies. Next thing I knew I was waking up next to Tenya with a bunch of love marks and bites on him. We went on a honeymoon to a government protected piece of coast where anybody can use their quirks, it was one of those quirk tourism things that peaked my interest. We spent our time getting drunk and beating the other couples at the quirk games that were being hosted. Just a whole week of just that, then things got pretty serious work wise when we got back.

-Robo Dog INC offices-

“Not to cause alarm” Beizu spoke up after reviewing some spreadsheets “but we can’t keep up with demand.”

“Oh shit really?” I questioned as I leaned over to see the sheets “fuuuck you right, does that mean we’re closing off or postponing consultations?”

“Closing off for 3 months at least!” He rubbed his face “I have some this week then I’ll be turning away people for robo companion.”

“How about you just schedule them 4 months out?”

“That might be a better idea” He sipped his coffee “but we need to start looking into expand the work floor” he sets his empty cup down “we can’t hire more people to work until we have the space for more.”

“I know! But to be honest, all the bigger buildings are too far to my liking” I slumped in my chair “I have to wait for a nearby one to go on the market.”

The company was in need of a lot of things in terms of expanding but I didn’t want to start any of it yet. And it was a good thing I didn’t because there was a rise in the villain world. The League of Villains recruited more people for an uprising and Black Phantom was called upon to take it down from the inside.

“I really wish we could’ve just sniped the hand-man while we had the chance” Jin sighed as he put on his gear “then maybe everything would be at peace.”

“Yea but he’s a good source of intel” I responded “but you know the goal for tonight, we get the hot one with the bird-mask and get out.”

“Why the fuck do all the villains gotta be so hot!” complained Mimi as she loaded her holsters “it’s not fair!”

“Can we refocus please?” I sternly snapped “we’re close to the hideout, if we get lucky, we could smoke them out again.” I lowered my visor “voice changers on yall, it’s go time!”

We raid the place silently and it seemed almost too easy this time but it was easy. Who knew that everyone was sleeping with no guard? I floated us in and once we found the person of interest, Jin just floor portaled them to the holding cell and we followed after.

“Oh man that was scary easy” I was in disbelief “did yall see all the spooning going on?”

“Yea! That was weird as hell but oddly cute” Mimi commented “speaking of oddly cute, who is this perp?”

“This is Kai Chisaki, aka Overhaul” I pull up the criminal record “he was responsible for some black market quirk erasing bullets and one count of child endangerment.” I show them the picture of the victim “you remember this little girl? The one the green twink and naked man rescued?”

“OH I remember! Poor girl was in pretty bad shape but she’s all grown up now!” Jin recalled “so this is the man that got away?”

“Yea apparently after Mirio got his quirk taken away but just before the green one ran off with the girl” I put the holding cell on lockdown “this guy and Nighteye fought but then he ran off and disappeared before he sustained serious damage. And he remained at large for years, almost cold cased until the new intel on the League.”

Mimi peered into the holding cell “Why are all the hot ones the most fucked up?!” she watched him thrash about “so we’re just gonna leave this one up to the interrogation team huh?” I nod in response, she sighs “are you going to pay a visit to the little girl?”

“Yup but this time I’m not going to dread this house visit” I smile “Aizawa got full custody of her when she turned 10 and she’s like 14 now.”

-Two Days later-

“It’s so nice to see you again Miss Palma!” Eri excitedly exclaimed “er, I should say Mrs Iida!”

I stifle my laugher “Oh it’s nice to see you too Eri!” I get pounced on by the girl “very lively! But I don’t have much time to play I’m afraid” I turn to Aizawa “thank you for letting me visit today, I know it’s your day off and you much rather nap.”

“Not a problem! You’re allowed to disrupt my free days” he motions me to sit in the living room “Eri, would you please serve the tea?” We sit as Eri walks out of earshot “Soooo, are we expecting another turbo child?”

I choke on air “Oh you got me fucked up! I’m not pregnant” I chuckled “sorry to disappoint but I don’t want a child just yet” I look at the picture on his end table of him, Mic, Eri and Shinso “children don’t just magically appear at my doorstep for me to care for like you!”

“Well, I was excited to be a grandpa, because I’d still be hot” he joked as Eri came back with tea “Okay then, what do you need to tell us?”

“Thank you Eri” I politely accepted her pour of tea “it’s about Overhaul, I caught him and is under custody in our facilities.”

“You’ve done it?!” Aizawa almost spilled tea on himself “how? The Hero Society deemed it cold-case!”

“I’ve been gaining intel from the League and other villain groups for years now via a spy” I sip tea “the moment we got word that the League was hiding him with confirmed sighting, my team and I swooped in and captured him” I hand him a folder “here, I know you’ve been working tirelessly to solve this for her sake. You’d be surprised what we found.”

“I don’t believe it!” he skimmed the pages “he’s been hiding right under our noses, of course Hawks had something to do with it!” he closes the folder “does that mean Eri can-”

“Yes, it means that Eri can attend a hero academy if she wishes to do so” I smiled as I finished his sentence “it also means that she no longer needs protected accompaniment, can travel beyond the 10 mile radius and can apply of a drivers license when she’s of age.”

“I can go to the mall by myself?!” Eri perked up “and I can go to UA?!” she turns to Aizawa, starry eyed.

“You’re not going to the mall by yourself! I’ll always be there with you” he said sternly but then chuckled “but yes you can go to UA, and just in time too! Entrance exams are coming up.”

“YAY! Thank you so much Mrs Iida!” she pounces on me again for a hug “I promise to do my best for all you’ve done for me!”

“Oh you sweet child” I start to tear up “it’s not a problem! I know you’ll do your best.” We say our goodbyes and I make my way home. It’s October now and I’m so satisfied with my life. At least, as much as I can control it. It’s been a month since the last I’ve heard from my caseworker about everything back home. Nothing has gotten better, more people I knew had fled their homes, leaving their parents behind in all the violence. It seems hopeless and I wish I could do something to help. At least my family is safe and getting by, I send them money so they can live as comfortably as they did when we lived in the old house. I miss my old home but I’m more excited to establish family to make it more homely.

“How was the visit?” asked Tenya, breaking my train of thought.

“Oh it was great!” I stretch my back “Eri is getting so big! And she’s planning to attend UA now that I’ve solved the cold case.”

“Thats amazing!” he comes closer to give me a tight embrace “you make such an impact in our community and I’m so proud of you every time you change the fate of others.”

“I’m just doing what I can within my power” I hug him back “you know I don’t give up on anything it I could help it.”

“It’s one of the things I love the most about you” he lifted her up “how lucky am I to have one of the sweetest souls in the world as my love?”

Luck had nothing to do with it, I best describe my time in this country as a train wreck that gets progressively weirder and it’s fixed with some duct tape. But I only live one day at a time, I’ll worry about the destination later when the time comes. Time passes us fast, once you get married it’s like time passes faster! It’s been a year and some change, I’m 25 and still very humble with all the riches and successes that has followed me. Tenya is 26 and slowly reaching the upper 20′s in the hero ranking, thanks to his brother and myself to help him along the way. It’s mid January, Tenya gets sent on a week long mission in Sendai, it’s the first time in years that we spent time apart. I made sure I make his welcome very momentous, because I had so much to share with him when he came back.

“I’m home!” Tenya yelled excitedly as he walk through the door “I missed saying that!”

“Welcome home Tenya” the little robo yipped “Mom missed you, she’s waiting for you in the main room.”

“Oh? Thank you” he was a bit taken back by this change of greeting, he’s so used to hearing Ita respond back. He makes his way to the living room, passing the kitchen and hallway to the guest room.

“Welcome home Tenya!” I yelled once I saw him “I missed you soooo much!” I jump on him for a tight hug “mmhm! I don’t think I like you being gone for so long” I pepper kisses on him “I need my man to love me so I can annoy him with my affection.”

“You know your affection doesn’t annoy me” he laughed at my clinginess “I miss giving you besitos and holding you close at night” he lingered on my hug “oh darling, it was rough out there but I’m so happy to be home.”

“I hope you’re hungry because I cooked you a grand meal!” I excitedly lead him to the table “ta-da! a four course meal in the candlelight!”

“Four courses?! Oh you missed me, missed me” he was shocked by the amount of thought I put into his welcome. As we ate, he told me of his time in Sendai and the other heroes that were called upon “...and I really hope that family is safe. Also do you think this trip will boost me up the ranking?”

“I talked to Tensei about that actually the other day” I said as I was walking back with dessert “he said that it will if you make it onto the media, like if they name you. Otherwise it won’t.”

He watches me set down dessert “Berry tart! Oh what splendid memories just flooded back” he cracked a big dumb smile as I served him a slice “remember when we went to that cafe at the end of 1st year and I was too shy to sit that close to you?” he took a bite “and as usual, everything you make is delicious! Oh man if only I told you that day I had feelings for you, it was a perfect winter day spent with you.”

“Oh stop! You had your chances, even on the bad days!” I playfully hit his arm “but I would’ve probably started to cry right there on the town plaza if you confessed” I suddenly remembered my big piece of news “Oh! I almost forgot, this invitation came in the mail earlier in the week” I levitated a yellow envelope with ‘Iida Household’ on the front of it in nice handwriting “I wanted to wait for you to come back to open it, since it’s addressed to both of us.”

He opens the envelope “It looks like a... birthday invitation?” he furrowed his brow and thought for a moment “who’s birthday is coming up? I can’t recall anyone’s except yours.” He opens the card and reads aloud:

Dear Iida household,

Hello! I’d like to invite you to my birthday! You see, it’s my very first one and I’m very excited to see you attend. You don’t know me but I’d like to get aquatinted with the both of you. There’s not much about me but my birthday is on July 28th, I’m a Leo. It’s a long way from now but I wanted to let you know because I know how busy being a Hero and a CEO must be. Anyways, I hope to see you then!

Yours Truly,

p.s. It just occurred to me that I don’t have a name yet, maybe you can help me with that and that’ll be your present to me!

“Huh, a person with no name?” he reread the invitation “and no address to said birthday” he turned to me “did the couple a few rows in front of us have a child that I wasn’t aware of?”

I stifle my laugh “Nope, read the invite again” I point to the p.s. part “see how they’re asking you for a name for a present?”

“I see that but what an odd request” he chopped, missing the point “wouldn’t it be customary to give a gift for a growing child? It’s their first birthday!” he sees me hold in my laugh “DON’T LAUGH! Tell me what am I not getting, you’re the riddle and puzzles expert.”

“Tenya, what did I serve you in this 4 course meal?”

“Baby quiche, side salad of baby greens with snow peas, steak with baby carrots and baby corn” he pointed at the tart “ and berry tart...but I don’t see how the meal relates to this mysterious invitation?”

“Oh goodness you’re hopeless” I laugh as I stand up “think long and hard Tenya, lots of baby named food, invite to a birthday 6 and a half months away, person that wants a name as a present and that we don’t know.”

He spends a good 5 minutes of mumbling to himself, trying to make sense of all the clues I pulled for him “I’m afraid I can’t crack this case” he checks the envelop for anything he could’ve missed “what did you piece from this?”

I couldn’t contain my laughter, I was tearing up laughing “Welp, I guess I’ll tell ya” I grab his hand and put it on my stomach “welcome home....daddy.”

He didn’t get it at first then it all clicked “Ita...your pregnant?!” he fell to his knees and put both hands on my stomach “oh my- I’m such an idiot!” he put his forehead on my stomach “why did you marry me, I can’t figure out something that’s so blatantly written out for me!”

“Silly, it doesn’t matter now” I put my hand on his head “we’re going to be parents! Isn’t that exciting that we’re building that future we thought we’d never get to?”

“Yes, I’m so excited to see the life you’re growing” he looked up at me, tears in his eyes “I said you could start your happy family with me, now it’s all coming together.” he kisses my stomach “you hear that? I can’t wait to meet you!”

I go through pregnancy once again but this time I took maternity leave at both jobs right at the 5th month of my pregnancy. I mainly did it to avoid publicity and cameras, so I can do my thing in peace. Surprisingly, I was the first one in my company to go on leave and it made me want to rewrite the leave so you’d get 8 months off instead of 5. So on said leave, I did the rewrite and had Beizu do all that paperwork and update everyone. He hated me for it but at least I wasn’t in the office overworking myself while heavily pregnant. We didn’t want a baby shower, mainly because we were already well off and it seemed like theft if we made our friends come and give us baby stuff. I ordered the baby stuff online for in-store pick up and uncle Jin and aunty Mimi would go get it for me. They were very excited to be an uncle and aunt to the point of jumping ahead to how my baby will interact and love them. My parents and in-laws were super pleased with the fact that we were pregnant. The In-laws announced it to the rest of the family and they all cheered that the family name will stay nice and strong. We decided to just have the crib and other baby stuff in our bedroom so we don’t have to have a baby monitor and have our baby within reach. It was nearly go time when Tenya got leave and I was in that nesting mode.

“We have to set up the bottle warming station!” I said franticly setting up the small machine “I’m going to pumping so much it’s not even funny! OH! can you-”

“Relax Ita, please!” Tenya begged “you’ve been up since 6am and hardly sat down” he rubbed her shoulders “why don’t you let me set this up while you take a nap nap on the couch? I’ll have a snack waiting for you when you wake up.”

“Alright, if it will make you feel better” I lean into his hands “then I’ll take a break.” I lay down and the baby started moving like crazy, not letting me sleep. 

“Oh you woke up?” Tenya asked as he saw me quickly sit up after an hour.

“Not to cause alarm” I slowly turn to where Tenya was and calmly spoke “but my water broke....deadass.”

Now Tenya was in panic as I calmly called Mimi and Jin that it was time. As we got in the car, I called my parents that I was on my way to the hospital to give birth. I can’t go to a regular hospital, so I have to go to a government protected one that’s an hour away from the gated community. Lucky me that Jin can portal us there in an instant. I was in labor for a while and gave natural birth to our first child. I didn’t need to go into stasis nor get stitched up, so I got see my baby for those crucial first few days. We got home just before the first summer storm.

“Oh wow look at you!” I cooed at my baby “you’re not scared of the rain or any of those big scary noises huh?”

“Is that normal?” asked Tenya, still trying to figure out how babies work.

“Not sure, but my mom said I was a very quiet and unfussy baby” I yawned “so maybe they got it from me.”

“Come on, both of you take a nap!” he coaxed the new mom to the couch “I’ll hold you both in my arms.”

“You’re too much” I yawned as I nestled myself in his arms with the baby in mine “but I love you.”

Tenya took in his surroundings, the house was quiet and the rain was coming down hard with some thunder in the far distance. He looked down to see the baby looking back up at him, the same way Ita would look at him when he’d hold her. “Can’t sleep? What is it?” he asked the newborn “this is your home, we’re going spend every waking moment here with you. Doesn’t that sound nice?” the newborn freed one of their hands from the blanket to extend out “Oh my sweet, little girl” he kissed their hand “I can’t wait to see the person you’ll become in our hectic and wonderful world.”

About a month later, we invited our friends to meet our baby. Literally, Tenya wanted a ‘meet our baby’ party instead of a birthday party because he REALLY wanted to show off our baby. I don’t blame him, we made a cute baby.

“What a cutie! Awww” Midnight squealed “what did you end up naming her?”

“Lili Perla” I responded with the baby in my arms “like the flower. Would you like to hold her?”

“I would!” she cradled the baby gently “Hello!~ It’s your aunty Midnight! I can’t wait to see you grow up into a little turbo kid like daddy. Or curly haired rebel like mommy.”

“Nemuri, isn’t my niece the cutest baby?!” cried out Tensei “I can tell she’ll have most of the Iida strong traits!”

“That terrifies me” I split my gaze between the two brothers “I can’t deal with yo rectangular like, fucked up brows havin asses! My baby is gonna be the prettiest little thing with all my family’s beauty traits.”

“I hope she’s outspoken like you” Midnight hands me back the baby “we need more Itas in this world.”

“Oh look it’s Lili-chan!” cooed Ochako with her son in her arms “say hi Maru! She’s going to be your friend and play with you when she gets big enough.”

“Don’t be shy Maru” coaxed Midoriya “the Iida’s are our friends and Lili will be a very loyal friend just like their mom and dad.”

We watched the little boy wave and Lili waving back “Oh she’s picking up fast!” exclaimed Midnight “that’s peculiar.”

“Right?! She already knows basic things like greetings, waving, attention grabbing and flails her arms to music” I giggle a bit “like, she can’t talk but she gives a little yell when Tenya comes home and a long yell when she needs something. She doesn’t cry for anything!”

“Hey guys, I heard baby talk and had to see the little lady” Mineta said as he walked up to me “may I hold her?”

“Sure, make sure you support her head.”

“Hi there! I’m your cool uncle Minoru” he cooed at the baby “one day I’ll give you a cousin to play with.”

The baby didn’t bide well with the grape man and started crying “Oh no! She hates you” Todoroki said flatly “here, let me.” He held the baby and she instantly stopped crying “See? She doesn’t mind me.”

I started laughing “Oh fuck she’s learning a little too fast!” I saw that Shoto brought Touya with him “Hi Touya, surprised to see you here.”

“Yea, I had to see for myself that you had a baby” he said as he peered over Shoto’s shoulder to see the baby “what a cute little squish” Shoto hands him the baby “you don’t know me but your mommy saved me from some baddies and brought me to my family, don’t you grow up and give your mother trouble!” He turns to me “she isn’t afraid of me.”

“Seems like she isn’t afraid of anything yet” Touya hands me the baby “I’m sure it’s just a curiosity phase and she’ll be crying more as she gets older.”

“May I hold her?” Tokoyami asked me “lets see if she will cry with me.” I hand her over and she smiled as her hands touched his beak “nope, she’s like her mother, curious and giggly” he nuzzles her and Dark Shadow comes out to see the baby. Lili sees it and starts to grunt to touch it “You want Dark Shadow? Um, okay.” 

“I don’t believe it” Shinso smirked “you two managed to make the ideal baby in one try” Tokoyami hands Shinso the baby “oh the things you’ll get to experience with your mother, lucky you” Lili tugs on his shirt “what is it? You like the satin shirt?” Lili grunts in response “Ita what are you feeding this child to have them this...smart?”

“I’m just breastfeeding her I swear!” I look to Tenya “we have no idea if her level of response is because of a quirk or it’s her own level of intelligence and we’re just doing a good job at stimulating her enough.”

Seeing her grow up into little Miss Independent was quite the journey for a new parent. She was walking at 11 months old and running a few weeks after her 1st birthday, causing a lot of mischief. At 1 and 4 months she was talking in English and Japanese, small phrases like ‘howdy’ ‘mom’ ‘dad’ ‘doggy’ ‘hot’ and ‘not nice’. Her first word was doggy because Muffin 2.0 had to switch roles from security to nanny when she’d run around the house. When she turned two, her quirk grew in, smaller rocket-like engines on her feet! The amount of joy the Iida family got from hearing about this brought them to tears that the legacy will live on. My family was impressed that it wasn’t telekinesis and was excited to see another random quirk in our gene pool. But it didn’t stop there, when she got a little runny nose and blew her nose, her clothes instantly turned to threads! She had a second quirk, Master Thread! Tenya and I were so happy that she was blessed with two separate quirks that we helped her in anyway possible to develop her skills better at home. She really liked dancing and all the pretty costumes, so I put her in private lessons and fell in love with it. We didn’t stop at her though, we had another baby after Lili’s 3rd birthday, a baby boy named Iwata El Roca. And 4 years after him, twins! A boy and girl named Hanaka Rosa and Tensei Oro...can you tell who named who? It was a full house come Christmas time of six people and a robo dog. Everyone was tired and sprawled about on the couch, Lili was holding Hanaka on the far side, Ita was holding Iwata as she leaned on Tenya’s shoulder. Tenya was cradling baby Tensei and everyone was asleep after a grand meal and watching a holiday movie, except for Tenya. He took in his surroundings and sighed. He was in a new home, the house was quiet with just the sounds of his family breathing, snow was falling outside, everyone was safe and warm. How weird that everything fell into place when he fell in love with one person, now he shares his love in 5 different people that show it back.

“Hnn, Tenya” Ita drowsily spoke “we have to put the kids to bed.”

“Just 5 more minutes, please love.” He softly responded “When will we ever have them this little and peaceful again?”

“Fine, 5 more minutes” she pulled her son closer to her chest “I love you.”

“I love you more” he kissed her forehead.

-Book 1 End-

<Previous - FAQ - Chapter 1                 

[wildlyhardphilosopher-blog]

puppy pad training | german shepherd puppies training

New Post has been published on https://dogtraining.dknol.com/english/puppy-pad-training-german-shepherd-puppies-training/?utm_source=Tumblr&utm_medium=Tumblr+%230+Freda+K+Pless&utm_campaign=SNAP%2Bfrom%2BBest+Dog+Training

puppy pad training | german shepherd puppies training

Encourages effective communication between pets & pet parents German Shorthaired Pointer Copyright © 2018 PetSmart Inc. mezzotint/Shutterstock.com a Bark Buster! True Chews It can be overwhelming to decide the best things to teach your puppy. One of the best ways to interact with your dog and to get him or her to pay attention to you is to teach look or watch me command. This isn’t necessarily a trick, rather it’s a way to capture your dog’s full attention before you begin training. To do this, simply decide which words you will use and be consistent (i.e. “look” or “watch me”). Before you begin teaching your dog anything else, say “look,” and offer a treat when she responds. When you have her full attention, move onto the training. Groceries & More ARF needs your help to save more lives! Together we can make a difference. More in Puppy Keep it somewhere you can always see and know where it is, alongside a pen or pencil and write entries in it as you watch your puppy throughout the day. Shop All Sale Offers No Payments + No Interest If Paid In Full In 6 Months $12.50 Teasers & Chasers When supervising your puppy’s free time, the signs you need to look out for that they need to eliminate are: It’s important to carefully evaluate whether you are ready own a dog at all, because if you aren’t ready to make the commitment and time investment required, you should not become a pet owner just yet.

dog training

puppy training

how to train a puppy

training a puppy

how to potty train a dog

fbq('track', 'ViewContent', content_ids: 'dogtraining.dknol', ); (47) Sit on the floor with him or on the sofa, if you plan to allow him on the furniture. Love on him and talk to him, so he gets to know the sound of your voice and touch of your hand. This is a great time to start teaching him that it’s OK for you to touch his paws, look inside or sniff his ears, rub his belly, touch his tail and groom him with a soft brush. Tools Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. Tustin Management Team Mark, thank you for your exceptionally detailed response. These are very sensible recommendations and will certainly help me to design the best possible area for him. Thanks again for taking the time! Innovations 44.95 Repeat. Your dog may go back to sniffing around your foot; as soon as she stops and looks away, mark the desired behavior with “yes” or a click, and reward. Getting a dog or puppy Establish a consistent “potty break” schedule. Restaurants & Bars Pro-Treat 100% Pure Beef Liver Treats Hello! This article (and all of yours!) are really great and informative, thank you! I have a question about night time when the puppy first comes home. You recommend them sleeping in your room for the first few nights to keep the settled while they get used to their new environment, however crate training won’t happen for a little while after and of course they have no bladder control. We have a carpeted bedroom so a paper training area might be difficult to accomplish. What would be your recommendation of sleeping arrangements during this time? Thanks so much. Furthermore, because puppy’s learn through repetition, by taking yours out to potty at the same times every day, their body learns to expect and follow this schedule, training your puppy to toilet at the times you’d like them to. Need Dog Food Wet Cat Food Guns N’ Roses’ Duff McKagan wants to save the Showbox Wildlife Tips Puppy Prep Cheat Sheet Before 2pm on weekdays. FSS Open Show Modern Dog Trainers So it makes perfect sense to train your dog to use one specific area every time. An area away from any doors, windows, barbecues or play areas. But please don’t think if you choose a spot ‘out of the way’ you can shirk on cleaning duties. This command can help keep a dog out of trouble, bringing him back to you if you lose grip on the leash or accidentally leave the front door open. Buy a Kindle Kindle eBooks Kindle Unlimited Prime Reading Best Sellers & More Kindle Book Deals Free Reading Apps Kindle Singles Newsstand Accessories Content and Devices Kindle Support Advanced Search Assessment Get Help for Migraine Relief What language is the course in? Rabbits At the bottom of the worksheet there is an “additional notes” section. Observe your dog before he eliminates—what behaviors do you see? Does he sniff around? Scratch at the ground? Write down these pre-behavior indicators so that you know what to look for in the future and can recognize your dog’s signals for communicating that he needs to go out. Food 952-914-0292 What is the fastest way to potty train your puppy Plans & Coverages find another store Family Pets: some puppies are just joining/beginning puppy classes, some of them are starting basic obedience training Collar & lead training Emergency Preparedness First, prevent the situation from happening by interrupting the biting behavior and redirecting your puppy’s attention to something more acceptable to chew on. Stand up and be still. Pause a few moments, and then hand your puppy a chew toy instead. SMART REINFORCEMENT Kordon Availability Of Water Popular classes Keeping and following a written schedule may seem odd or a bit excessive, I’m sure you’ve not seen many people bother with it? Choose a designated toilet area for House Training Looking Ahead! In this exclusive clip from the 1930s, Confederate veterans step up to the mic and let out their version of the fearsome rallying cry Nicole May 16, 2015 at 4:14 pm But if you have mobility problems or live on the top floor of a high-rise building, getting outside quickly is impossible. Then you have to choose a bathroom spot inside your home, at least until your puppy has developed some strong bladder control. As leader, use a happy, enthusiastic tone when praising your pup for good behavior. Generous amounts of praise for good behavior will pay off. From the dog’s point of view a reward means you like the behavior and want more of it. Never reward fearful behavior by “soothing” it with a soft voice or stroking. This only reinforces the bad behavior. Praise and discipline should not be confusing. Use a stern and loud tone when correcting bad behavior. Your tone becomes the signal and provides the feedback pups understand. Puppy Love is owned by Dr. Kay Stephens, DVM,MS, a veterinarian, dog trainer, animal behaviorist, and TAMU graduate (Class of ’79, ’80, ’83). Puppy Love specializes in “clicker training”, a positive, scientifically proven approach to training that anyone can do and every dog will love. Puppy Love has been making training your dog fun, easy, and effective since 1992. At what age is it optimal to do house training? It starts with the breeder. As soon as the puppies start eating solid food, their mom will stop cleaning their den and they’ll be ready to start learning. So, if you start between seven and eight weeks, your puppy will learn everything faster than in seven days – if you follow this guide. The older your puppy is before potty training starts, the longer it will take because your puppy will have to change their habits – and that takes a little longer. Rachel All pups use their teeth. They nipped at their littermates as a way to establish the pecking order. Their mother never permitted them to nip her and she punished them swiftly when they attempted it. Her consistent behavior taught them about corrections and bad behavior. Ask Our Trainers: My Puppy Won’t Leave the Cat Alone Hearne, Vicki (1987). Adam’s Task: Calling Animals by Name, New York: Alfred A. Knopf ISBN 0-394-75530-8 Accidents & Injuries Dog Obedience Training Sunday Lifetime Class 10am Farmingdale If you stick to a strict routine, your puppy or adult dog will quickly learn to be clean in the house, the first step to being house trained. But don’t get complacent, or your dog’s toilet training can lapse. Continue with the toilet training routine until you are sure that your puppy knows never to go indoors and can wait to go outside. Gradually phase out numerous outdoor trips, but if there are any accidents just start increasing the number of visits again. Your feedback is private. Name a Puppy Obituaries This also trains you to see that accidents are not the dogs fault. If the dog is leashed to you/in the same room as you, and still having accidents, then there’s no way you can be angry at the dog, because you are not paying enough attention!  Being angry at your dog or punishing him just for relieving himself (no matter if you consider it to be in the ‘wrong’ place) is detrimental to his learning, and your relationship with him, so this is an important part of the process. 30 The belief that pups should not be trained until they are at least six months to one year of age is not true. All dogs can benefit from obedience training as early as seven weeks and also when the puppy enters its new home. By six months of age, almost all behavior problems are already in place. This means that early training can be used to avoid problems before they become more difficult and frustrating. Bad habits are hard to correct, therefore owners should never allow nipping, chewing, digging, barking, mounting, etc. which are all normal behaviors but, if left uncorrected, can lead to behavior problems. Dogs learn each day what behavior will or will not be allowed. Remember that bad habits are hard to change. To learn more about the first year of life and the three periods of development (Primary, Socialization, Enrichment). 315,301 Stray Animals Remember to follow your city’s ordinances regarding picking up after your pet. If you have no choice but to let your dog use a public spot as his bathroom, you’ll need to bring a bag so you can pick up the waste and dispose of it. 3. Puppy Crate Training If you’ve followed the guide so far, you’ve now gathered all the information you need to design your puppy’s house training schedule. Go back The area should be large enough for the puppy to play in, but small enough that you can see it at all times. A small room or sectioned off area of a room is ideal. PEDIGREE® Wet Dog Food Chopped Ground Dinner with Chicken Lazy Dog Cookie Co When you first start training your dog to go outside, you’re teaching him that when he feels the urge, that means it’s time to go outside. Each time your dog successfully goes outside, the idea that bathroom = outside is reinforced. Customers Who Bought This Course Also Bought How to register for a group class 17 October, 2016 — Vote Up4Vote Down  Reply Care & Health $6.56 Autoship & Save Needs Vary – Create A Schedule To Match Your Individual Puppy puppy training | puppies barking puppy training | how to train a puppy not to bark puppy training | barking puppies Legal | Sitemap