#dog whistle statements

[sidewalk-scrawls]

cw antisemitism

Frankly, it's infuriating that the state of Israel keeps making false claims of antisemitism, which detract from *actual* rising antisemitism. Meanwhile, the vast majority of people refuse to acknowledge the actual rising antisemitism because it's not politically expedient. Or, best-case scenario, they just don't recognize it??

Idk guys, sometimes being Jewish is just incredibly lonely, and I'm not even religious. My city has had multiple instances of people harassing Jews in just the past few weeks, and while none of these cases have escalated into anything violent, it feels like only a matter of time. I wouldn't feel particularly safe stepping into a synagogue right now. At the moment, I actually feel significantly more worried about being seen as Jewish than being seen as queer, which is... certainly a weird feeling.

[transgenderboobs]

what working in customer service has taught me is that teenagers are the most normal people to go into stores ever. they're actually some of the most polite and considerate customers we get. i feel giddy relief when a teenager comes to the counter. they always say please and thank you and have excellent manners. they're downright deferential to the people giving them their food. it's middle aged people and older people who look at us and don't even see a person there but a dog or a servant to bark at and order around

[zvaigzdelasas]

New York University led by troubling example when the school shared an updated code of student conduct last week. Ostensibly aimed at curtailing bigotry, the new language instead shuts down dissent by threatening to silence criticism of Zionism on campus. Students who speak out against Zionism — an ethno-nationalist political ideology founded in the late 19th century — will now risk violating the school’s nondiscrimination policies.[...]

Tucked into a document purportedly offering clarification on school policy, the new NYU guidelines introduce an unprecedented expansion of protected classes to include “Zionists” and “Zionism.” Referring to the university’s nondiscrimination and anti-harassment policy, known as NDAH, the updated conduct guide says, “Speech and conduct that would violate the NDAH if targeting Jewish or Israeli people can also violate the NDAH if directed toward Zionists.”[...]

“Using code words, like ‘Zionist,’” the guide says, “does not eliminate the possibility that your speech violates the NDAH policy.”[...]

The entire premise of the guidance — that “Zionist” must be functioning as a “code word — is a flaw egregious enough to reject the entire document outright.

The language here is of utmost importance. The text does not say that “Zionist” can and has been used by antisemites as a code word, which is no doubt true. Instead, it takes it as a given that, when used critically, “Zionist” simply is a code word.[...]

According to NYU’s guidance, then, Zionist and Zionism are either antisemitic dog whistles when invoked critically or a protected category akin to a race, ethnicity, or religious identity. Ethically committed and politically informed anti-Zionism — including the beliefs of many anti-Zionist Jews like myself who reject the conflation of our identity and heritage with an ethnostate project — is foreclosed, and the long history of Jewish anti-Zionism, which has existed as long as Zionism itself, is all but erased.[...]

“For many Jewish people, Zionism is a part of their Jewish identity,” the NYU guidance says. And this is of course true. That does not, however, make Zionism an essential part of Jewish identity.

There are conservative Christians for whom the damnation of homosexuality is a key part of their Christian faith too, but Republican lawfare to see homophobic positions enshrined as protected religious expression have been rightly and consistently condemned by the liberal mainstream.

“The new guidance sets a dangerous precedent by extending Title VI protections to anyone who adheres to Zionism, a nationalist political ideology, and troublingly equates criticism of Zionism with discrimination against Jewish people,” NYU’s Faculty for Justice in Palestine said in a statement in response to the updated conduct guide.[...]

“Furthermore, the new guidance implies that any nationalist political ideology (Hindu nationalism, Christian nationalism, etc.) that is integrated into some members of that group’s understanding of their own racial or ethnic identity should be entitled to civil rights protections.”

27 Aug 24

[khaire-traveler]

Specifically referring to a deity worship perspective, the "mundane over magical" mindset is useful...until it isn't. It's a great tool if you tend to overthink what is or isn't a sign, but if you lean too hard into it you run the risk of believing that nothing is a sign or that there is no magic in the world, in any shape or form. This statement was shoved so far down my throat in the beginning of my practice that I've actually had to actively unlearn parts of it because I immediately ignore a sign, interpreting it as a purely "mundane" occurrence. I felt that if I chose to believe it was a sign, it was unrealistic and egotistical of me (these things are not true, btw; believing you received a sign doesn't inherently make you unrealistic or egotistical).

This mindset isn't a fix-all. Sometimes it causes more problems than it solves, by robbing you of your sense of wonder. Remember the importance of "mundane over magical", but don't take it so seriously that you stop seeing any magic in the world around you because magic does exist. It exists in the way the sun shines brightly through tree leaves, it exists in the excited eyes of a dog seeing their owner for the first time in years, it exists in the honey-sweet whistle of a morning songbird. Magic is everywhere, if you look for it, even if it's not in the way often seen in fairytales, and it is, in fact, ok to look for it.

[a-very-tired-jew]

Watching goyische anti-Zionists complain about the lack of Palestinian and/or ProPal speakers at the latest DNC has me thinking: what did you actually expect?

Separate yourself from the movement for a moment and think about the rhetoric and how it is perceived. Would it have been welcome? Would people actually accept your messaging? Would people accept the radical maximalist messaging that is prevalent? Clearly not.

Biden acknowledged that the protesters do have a point, and that point is civilians are dying and suffering and they shouldn't be. We all agree on that. But the other stuff? Yeah, you'd be hard pressed to convince the DNC to allow antisemitic rhetoric up on their stage.

Everyone knows the rhetoric and talking points for what they are. It doesn't matter how many times you say "it's anti-Zionism, not antisemitism", the actual content of the statements and the actions say otherwise. Denial of hatred and bigotry only suits to convince you, the speaker, that you're not actually a bigot. The rest of us see it for what it is. At best they would have had Tlaib up there giving a speech, and it still would have been filled with antisemitic dog whistles disguised as "anti-Zionism".

Worst case, they have some big name activist like Nerdeen Kiswani who just goes mask off "Death to America, Death to Israel, Death to Jews" on stage. Neither one of those would have worked out well.

[rebellum]

Do you guys consider "men should be allowed to be feminine without being told multiple times by many different people that they have to really be trans women" to be a dogwhistle?

Cause I could see how it could be used AS a transphobic statement, but I mostly see it in the whole current egg debate (don't repeatedly insist someone must be trans if they say they're cis, don't harass people or tell your friend "you're probably a woman" every single time they wear makeup, that whole debate)

Where it's being used to mean like "insisting that because a man is wearing something associated with femininity that he MUST be a trans women is misogynistic because it assumes men can't enjoy those things. Dont tell random people that they have to be trans, don't tell your friend they must be trans every time they wear makeup or a skirt or whatever, respect people's identities" kinda way

But I did see someone refer to it as a dog whistle so now I'm wondering if I am having an overly-charitable view of when people say that

[mintmatcha]

i am so horrifically into virgin tomura in the modern au like if you are able PLEASE elaborate on him more im obsessed

"Yo, newbie!" Your voice cuts through the heavy beat of his music. "Need a ride home?"

Tomura doesn't remove his headphones. He just unties his apron and jams it into the locker, slamming the door after. His skin itches with how you watch him, twirling your little lanyard with your shitty smile.

"No."

"Aw, come on. I'm not letting you walk home- it's freezing out there." You pat your thighs and whistle low, beckoning him closer. "Come here, boy! Come on, get in the car-"

It takes a second for him to realize what you're doing.

"I'm not a fucking dog."

Your smile grows even bigger. "Oh yeah? Then, quit acting like a bitch."

Thump. Tomura's chest pounds and he's not sure why. Just one, weird heartbeat, just enough to knock him off of his guard. The sound blasting in his ear ends, a gap of static just before the next one roars to life. Your eyes crinkle as you watch him and you both know that you're won.

He follows you to your car like the dog he is.

"Hold on, let me-" You scramble over the seats, feet kicking outside the car as you toss bits of trash and clothing into the back seat. Tomura pretends not to notice the thong you've tucked into the glove box-- but he'll be remembering that.

"This is a shitbox."

"At least I own a car, bitch," you say, tossing him your phone. He barely catches it; the cracked screen eats into the pads of his fingers. "Put your address in and lets go."

Against better judgement, he opens the passenger side door and slides it. The heater is roaring, ranking out as much lukewarm air as it's little engine can muster. The warmth loosens his tight joints and for a second he's grateful.

Then, the sticky, sweet scent of fruit hits him, lingering in the back of is nose and in his mouth. It's peachy, maybe even melon, with some sort of something on the back that has him sniffing the air even as he grimaces.

"What the fuck is that smell?"

"My perfume, you bitch," you laugh, jamming the car into drive. "I'm going to the club later and want to smell good.."

"You smell like fucking..." He knows this scent. Tomura furrows his brow, trying to come up with it. "White gummy bears."

"That's exactly what I was going for!" You slap the wheel excitedly. As the car rolls into the highway, lights strobing by, Tomura finds himself watching how it hits the planes of your face. "Smell like a snack and hope someone eats you later."

You're pretty. Nice, too. There's no doubt that someone isn't going to snatch you up and spread you open tonight, probably someone strong and tall and hot-

"Whore." He says it and hopes you don't hear the jealousy.

"Aw, okay, Mr. Grumpy. Maybe take a shower and you'll find your own fuck buddy for the night.

"Some of us are ugly."

"I think you're pretty cute."

He waits for the punchline, the jab, the tease, but it doesn't come. The compliment, as weak as it is, just sits there between you, waiting to be acknowledged. He breathes in through his nose and tastes the sweet air again.

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me-- it's just the truth."

Just like the scent, that statement lingers, haunting him even as he leaves your car and goes inside his shit hole apartment. It smells like weed and burnt popcorn, but his mouth is still damn with the candy sweet thought of you.

"Yo, buddy, I'm going to the store for munchies." Spinner is there and already blazed, swaying side to side as he talks. "Want anything?"

Tomura usually says no, but today he surprises himself.

"Pack of gummy bears."

[velvetvexations]

I'm now going to conclusively prove beyond all possible doubt that TERFs hate cis men, people they perceive as men, and masculinity in general. No, seriously, this is going to have less holes than relativity. Darwin wishes he could have demonstrated the reality of evolution like I'm about to take down the idea that TERFs don't come from a place of violent hatred towards masculine people and those they perceive of as masculine.

Some ground rules, because I'm so good at predicting counter-arguments:

I have only included cases where posts are completely, 100% unambiguously about cis men or "all men." No posts complaining about "men" without further elaboration, to avoid the argument that it's just being used as a dog whistle.

I have excluded cases that could be brushed away as only racism rather than hatred of men specifically, although yes, obviously they are also extremely racist.

I did not repeat a single TERF to dodge claims these are mere anomalies.

"but they team up with cis men" the Nazis teamed up with Asians and tried appealing to Native Americans and Arabs, people are perfectly capable of being logically inconsistent or temporarily suspending their feelings for one group to combat another - also, many TERFs do actually bemoan the way others have started warming up to conservatives.

The "claiming TERFs don't think I'm a woman is misgendering me" people are going to be upset. Or at least they would be, but transradfems will not engage with this, they will do everything in their power to ignore it. I invite everyone to use this post whenever they say TERFs uniquely hate trans women and only trans women. It's necessary to make the facts inescapable.

Okay, here we go after the cut. My own commentary will be Biggest as well as bold and italicized for readability. CW for hateful rhetoric.

Here she's saying that Western white women have extra capability to fully sever all relationships with men, not that white women have a greater need to do so, and thus does not fall under "can be brushed away as racism" like it may read at first.

This is in response to statements of others that identify men in a sympathetic way ("not all men," "normalize men crying") and therefore cannot be about trans women.

"Stop calling men boys" means the people she's ranting about call them boys, which again means this post isn't about trans women.

I'll end by noting that I'm not comfortable platforming the content itself, but if you google "Dworkinstan Tumblr" (yes, even the actual URL is that bad) you will find the crowning example that really cherries the top of this sundae.

[nerdylilpeebee]

Saying “not all men are like that,” to women is like saying “all lives matter,” to people of color.

It’s a slap in the face and so backhanded.

Plus if you immediately jump out of your seat to defend yourself and say “not all,” you are probably the person we are talking about.

It’s extremely sus and it’s becoming a dog whistle.

No, it really isn't.

First of all, All Lives Matter was started by Natives and Latinos who wanted to have their victimhood at the hands of police acknowledged too, but was dismissed as "white supremacist" because "all" includes white people, and white people knew this and parroted it too. It's also just an objectively true statement.

Secondly, "not all men are like that" is ALSO an objectively true statement. You do not get to generalize just cuz you're a fucking woman. That is sexism.

Thirdly, no, it does not mean that! People do not like being falsely accused or lumped in with the bad ones! People jumping up to tell you "hey, don't fucking generalize" are not suddenly the people you're talking about! That's not how it works, you sexist asshat.

Ain't nothing sus about it and it's not a dog whistle. People not letting you be a sexist and opposing generalizing 50% of the human population is not a dog whistle.

It's literally the definition of opposing sexism.

[blackcherryvelvet0909]

Lifeguard Required (Divus x GN!Reader)

Content Warning: Mentions of alcohol (none present)

Note: Reader is an adult staff member, implied to be a teacher/professor or teacher's assistant

“You know, sometimes I wonder if teaching was a mistake.” Divus took another long swig of his drink. Thankfully, it was non-alcoholic. “If this keeps up, I’ll be getting gray hairs soon.”

“I think you’d look good with them,” you said with a smile. “You will have the silver fox thing going for you.” 

Divus let out a short chuckle as he adjusted himself in his seat, leg now crossed over his knee. “Well, thank you for the effort to make me feel better.” 

“No problem,” you smirked as you brought your soda to your lips, “but I meant what I said.” 

As though to stray from the conversation of aging, Divus changed the subject. “You know, when I was a student myself, I became a lifeguard part-time during the summer months.” 

“Really now?” You raised an eyebrow at the vision of a young Divus decked out in red swim trunks, a whistle around his neck and a red float under his arm. “Why’s that? Strapped for cash?” 

“Not necessarily,” he said. “While the extra money was a plus, it was mainly to build up my resume. It wasn’t the most…remarkable thing back then. It was experience enough while I pursued my interest in fashion.” 

“Do you have any pictures of you from back then?” You leaned over your chair as you raised your eyebrows in interest. “I require evidence to believe your story - and I’m curious as to how you looked back then.” 

“I looked not too different than I do now.” He picked his drink up again. “I age like a fine wine~” 

“Mhm,” you hummed, which was then followed by a teasing remark. “A strong one, to be sure, but a little dry from all the stress and age.” You ended that statement with a sip of your soda for effect. 

A smirk to match crossed Divus’s lips as he watched you sip your drink. He looked like he was going to say something else - then a loud scream caused you both to flinch. You whipped your heads in the direction of the scream just in time to see Idia Shroud get tossed into the pool by Leona Kingscholar. A loud splash resounded throughout the area, followed by droplets of water raining down from the impact. Divus quickly placed his glass on the small table between you two before he bolted up from his chair. He looked almost ready to sprint forward and dive in after him - but he relaxed the moment Idia’s head burst out from the water. He gasped for air, hands coming up to wipe dark blue strands of hair from his face. 

“What the hell?!” Idia coughed as he yelled. His yellow eyes glared daggers into Leona; if his hair was still alight, you figured it’d be burning red. 

“So, you do have hair under that burning turnip.” Leona chuckled as he smirked in Idia’s direction, completely unbothered. “Mystery solved.” 

Before either could get out another word, Divus’s boomed out in anger. “Bad dog! Kingscholar, come here, now!”

“Hm?” Leona tilted his head in the professor’s direction. While he appeared unphased, his tail twitched in irritation. “We were just foolin’ around, professor Crewel.” His smirked appeared again as he grinned and gestured to Idia. “Shroud is completely unharmed, as you can see. Do you really think I would hurt him?” 

The sweet talk and charm wouldn’t work, you knew that. Still, Leona always gave Divus a hard time; you doubt the lion would listen to him much. Then, from the other side of the pool, Trein appeared. Though he did not yell, his voice was stern and level, as though scolding a child. “Kingscholar, come with me. It seems that, once more, we need to have a chat about your poolside etiquette.” 

You were unsure why Leona didn’t pick a fight with Trein, nor why he complied with his demands with little more than a grunt of annoyance. You saw that annoyance, that irritation, as Leona’s ears flattened against his head, snarling under his breath as he turned and headed away with the professor. Was there some sort of begrudging respect the young man had for the elder? Perhaps…you did hear once from Crowley how Trein beat Leona in a duel during the student’s freshman year. Ever since that day, when Leona lost his own challenge, he hadn’t been too much of a problem for that teacher in particular. You’d have to ask Divus if he knew anything of that incident later.

For now, you watched as Divus helped Idia out from the pool. The poor boy was soaked to the bone, black hoodie weighing him down. You quickly ran and grabbed a towel for him; once you retrieved the biggest you could find, you draped it around his shoulders. Idia didn’t say much in thanks, but he shot you the smallest of smiles as his show of gratitude. Divus placed a gentle hand on Idia’s back as he began him back inside, whispering words of comfort you could scarcely hear. Before they got too far, Divus looked over his shoulder at you and asked, “Can you handle things until I return?”

You nodded and gave him a small smile of your own. “Of course.”

Divus gave you one of his own before he led Idia away. That poor boy…no wonder he often stayed in his room. You glanced in the direction that Trein and Leona had disappeared, the two no doubt having a thorough discussion somewhere just out of sight. The other students present had gone back to what they’d been doing before their fun was disturbed. You sighed, thankful no one was hurt, but tired all the same. As you sat back in your chair and took another sip of your soda, a part of you wished it was spiked - just a little. 

***

A long sigh combined with an exhausted groan escaped Divus’s lips as he returned. Though he elegantly sat down in his chair, his posture was anything but. His head lolled back as he slumped in his seat, his hand coming to run through his hair and slick it back from his forehead. His tropical button-up - one of many designs of his for the season - was now unbuttoned and slightly damp at the back. He looked more casual than usual, for sure, yet also far more exhausted than before. You wished you could tell him it’d soon be over, but that would be a lie. The trip had another week to go, and then it was back to the classrooms. 

You offered Divus his drink, which he took with a slight nod of his head. You’d never seen him chug something so fast. A chuckled as he finally opened his eyes and looked at the night sky as though it were the cause of his strife. “I think you’re ready for bed,” you said with a small laugh. 

“I’m ready for a vacation,” he grumbled. 

“But we’re on a vacation?” 

“If this is a vacation for you, I dread what you do on the daily.” Divus set his now empty glass on the table as he continued. “This is work with a tropical backdrop; I need one away from children.”

“I think we all do,” you giggled. “A weekend getaway for the staff sounds lovely.” 

Divus seemed to scoff as he said, “You assume half the staff are not the children I speak of?” 

Now that made you laugh. The alchemy professor certainly had a point; a certain headmage and coach were maddeningly unhelpful for most of this trip. What would they do if you, Divus, Mozus, and Sam took off for a weekend or more? You honestly dreaded the possibilities. “That is very true,” you uttered as your laugh faded. “We can’t take them anywhere, can we?”

While you gave no context as to whether it was the students or Crowley and Vargas you were referring to, Divus didn’t seem to care. Either answer would be correct, in his mind. He nodded with a small ‘mhm’ as a few loose strands of white and black hair fell over his forehead. “Like untrained dogs, they don’t know how to behave.” He glanced over at two certain first years as he uttered, “Some more than others.” 

“Well, at least summer break is just a month away.” You sympathized with the small groan Divus let out at the reminder of how much time was left before then. “When that time comes, I’m sure we’ll all be thankful for the rest.”

“If that rest is too good, I just might quit,” Divus joked. There was some truth to that suggestion, however. Again, you didn’t blame him. Divus rested his chin on his knuckles as he turned his gaze on you. “What do you plan to do for the break?” 

“Mmn, I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I’ll probably just relax at home, watch movies, maybe order takeout - stuff like that.” 

“No plans whatsoever?” 

“Bold of you to assume those aren’t my plans.” 

Divus let out a small ‘hmph’ as he smiled. He simply looked at you for a few seconds, as though deep in thought. You grew a tad nervous, a little shy, under that gray gaze; you mildly shrunk in your own chair as you eyed him. “What?” 

“Oh, just thinking,” he replied. He certainly seemed to be plotting something, you thought. He straightened his posture as he spoke again, “What is your opinion on upscale restaurants?” 

“Like the ones you have to dress up for?” He nodded. “Um…I’ve never been to one before,” you chuckled under your breath, “can’t afford it with my meager salary. So, I can’t say I really have an opinion on them.” 

“I see.” Those cunning eyes scanned you from head to toe. A chill ran up your back under his intense gaze; you felt like grabbing your towel and hiding underneath. Before you could ask what he was doing, he said, “I think you’d look quite fetching in red.” 

“Uh…t-thank you?” Though a blush threatened to creep on your cheeks, you barely noticed in your confusion. “Where’d that come from?” 

“Again, I am just contemplating.” 

“Contemplating what?” 

“On exactly where I should take you for dinner.” 

If this were a cartoon, you’d have been knocked out of your chair by that statement. Your soda was left completely forgotten on the table beside you as you leaned against the armrest of your chair. “I-I’m sorry, what?” 

Divus seemed to find your reply amusing for the way he tittered. “Don’t tell me that’s how you respond to every advance you receive?” 

“I’ve…never received an advance.” You couldn’t help but answer honestly; I mean, what else could you reply with? Your head swum with so many questions that you could barely think of anything else. 

“Truly?” You noticed Divus’s smile had now stretched into a charming smirk. “It’s good to know I do not have any competition.” 

“Competition for what?” You didn’t mean for your voice to rise in pitch like that. Thankfully, no one other than Divus seemed to notice. 

“So, even you, a fellow trainer of pups, are blind to such simple things.” A chuckle rumbled in his throat and rib cage before he spoke again with a wiggle of his fingers. “Come closer.” With no reason to object, you complied. Divus leaned a little closer to your face, voice a volume above a whisper as he explained himself. “On the day summer break begins, and we’re relieved of our duties, I am going to take you to a celebratory dinner. You do not need to fret about your choice of clothing - I will provide it. All you need to do is let me pick you up, drive you there, and, hopefully, enjoy the food and company.” 

“This…isn’t with Trein or the other staff, is it?” you asked, nearly at a loss for words. 

Divus chuckled again. “No, pup, it isn’t.” His fingertip tapped the underside of your chin. “Do you understand?” 

Your nod was shaky, along with your words. “Y-Yes, I do.” 

“Good dog~” He pulled away from you in that instance. “I look forward to it.” 

He stood from his seat and took his glass. He then grabbed your can of soda, shook it a little, then placed it back on the table. “Your can is near empty.” He held up his glass as he offered, “Would you like a drink?” 

Somehow, you managed to regain your composure. “Yes, I would, thank you.” 

“Preference?” 

A smile tugged at your lips as he met his eye. “I trust your judgement.” 

Divus seemed to take that as more than just picking your drink. Though his smile held its usual charm, you could spy a certain softness creep into those silver gray eyes. He gave a small nod, “I’ll be back shortly.” 

With that, he turned and walked away. Even when he left, you couldn’t help but keep smiling. Even when a certain housewarden got into an argument with a certain twin, you wore that smile through your whole mediation of the situation. You loved your job, you really did…but summer break couldn’t come soon enough. Who knows - maybe a certain lifeguard might come to your aide.

[traumatizedjaguar]

MASTER-POST: Psychological Abuse Terminology

Parentification: A form of role reversal, in which a child is inappropriately given the role of meeting the emotional or physical needs of the parent or of the family’s other children. There is emotional parentification and instrumental parentification.

Intrude and Interrupt or Enmeshment: The manipulator has no respect for another person's boundaries, they will say and do whatever they please in front of, behind the back of, or towards their victims, regardless of objections or morals. If done covertly the victim will have no idea what damage has been done until it’s too late. The goal is to cut the victim off from speaking up, gaining support, or making positive changes, either for themselves or the people around them.

Infantilize: The manipulator does not acknowledge their victims maturity either emotionally or psychologically. The victim is treated as if they have no knowledge of life or experience dealing with life's challenges. The goal is to reduce a person to that of an infant or child, lowering their status in the social order, and stripping them of the ability to make choices, both in the victim's mind and the manipulator's. Abusers who successfully infantalized you and kept you behind your peers in life will then use your trauma symptoms as an excuse to say, “see you are childish and can’t do this in your own, here let me do it for you” thus continuing to treat you younger than you are and keeping you in this cycle. This keeps you in a childish state against your will, sometimes living under a rock, or not knowing things people your age should know - but this goes for all complex trauma survivors as well.

Dog whistling or Double Entendres: It can be used to set the victim up to look hysterical, it is a coded and suggestive language that only the victim will understand the true meaning of. Used to abuse the victim in a covert manner. It is a statement your abuser uses with double meaning to be able to abuse you in front of others or just play mind games with you to make you lose your mind. Abusers tend to use “double entendres” to secretly cover abusive language. (Google the definition of double entendres).

For example: with the dog whistle tactic my abuser used on me, that my abuser would tell me and other people, “I fucked a girl so hard she had an asthma attack!” My abuser gloated to everyone she knew about how she hooked up with some chick and fucked her so hard that the girl ended up having an asthma attack my abuser thought this was cool to gloat about - this didn’t actually happen; The true hidden meaning behind that statement was that she and her friends gang raped me and I woke up (from being drugged) having a panic attack and hyperventilating that someone handed me an asthma inhaler and it worked and stopped the panic attack. My abuser told me in private she was telling everyone she knew and gloating about raping me with that double entendre.

DARVO: Deny abuse allegations, Attack the victim, Reverse Victim and Offender role. The abuser pretends to be the victim of abuse while vilifying the real victim, and making them out to be the abuser.

Projection, Deflection, Denial: Projection is when the abuser accuses the victim of what they’re actually doing, this is chronically used as a part of the personality pattern of psychological abusers. If the abuser is cheating, they will accuse the victim of cheating. Deflection is when the abuser brings up things the victim “did wrong” when the victim rightfully confronts the abuser about their abusive actions or brings up something the victim supposedly did to take the blame or eyes off the abuser. Denial speaks for itself, when the abuser denies things when the victim confronts them, even when the victim has irrefutable proof.

Insinuating Comments: The manipulator knows the victim's weaknesses and buttons. They purposely push and pull on these to get a reaction. Often they will speak with double entendres or innuendos to confuse and hurt the victim simultaneously while maintaining plausible deniability of any hurtful intention. The goal is to drain the victim emotionally, wear them down, and to feed the manipulator’s ego or sense of power/control.

Feigning Innocence or Confusion: The manipulator tries to suggest that any harm done was unintentional or that they did not do something that they were accused of. The manipulator may put on a look of surprise or indignation. The manipulator may also try to play dumb by pretending he or she doesn't know what the victim is talking about or is confused about an important issue brought to their attention. The abuser may pretend to not know certain people they’re using to help abuse their victim, this is why the abuser has public friends and private contacts. The goal is to make the victim question his or her own judgment and possibly their own sanity. When others are deceived by a manipulator this way the victim feels powerless.

Triangulation

There are 4 main types of triangulation recognized. It is a situation in which one family member or friend will not communicate with the victim, or will be friendly with the victim, while turning other family members or friends against them. This can take many forms and usually incorporates gaslighting. There is always a covert element which leads to pitting the victim against others without the victim being fully aware of what is taking place. The goal is to isolate (divide), and conquer the victim while controlling their support system.

Killing Two Birds With One Stone:

To obtain control, attention or adulation, abusers will often inform their partner about a third-party such as a mutual friend or co-worker, etc., who has been flirtatious with them. This third-party person is brought into the relationship to kill two birds with one stone! First, it stirs up feelings of jealousy and insecurity in their partner and subtlety warns the partner that they’re replaceable. Instinctively the partner tries harder to please the abuser so as to not be replaced. Second, it creates an illusion of desirability and encourages rivalry, both of which fill the abuser with abuser-supply, adulation and control. So not only does the abuser get their dose of supply, they also increase the amount of power they have over their partner. Psychological abusers are obsessed with jealousy and envy to feed their insecurities and lift their self-esteem. Power is the way they go instead of looking for healthier alternatives to make themselves feel better; it’s just how they are wired. They’re wired for drama, power, control, and chaos.

Recruiting Reinforcements:

One of the ways abusers use triangulation to manipulate their partners into siding with their point of view or acquiesce to their wants and needs is by using third-party reinforcements to substantiate their opinions. This is a form of recruiting allies when taken to the extreme is a form of bullying. The abuser tries to manipulate anyone who may hold a different opinion or belief by using the help of a usually innocent third party, which of course, has only heard the abuser’s rendition of the truth.

The third-party is usually oblivious to the abuser’s ploy and believes they’re only trying to help the abuser. Usually, their party is a relative or one of the members of the abuser’s supporters that the abuser uses as a tool to help settle differences and coerce their partner or anyone else into accepting their viewpoint through the use of persuasion, embarrassment, majority rules or guilt.

Splitting:

This method of triangulation involves pitting two people against each other. The abuser does this by smearing the character of one or both of the people behind their backs. This enables the abuser to preserve their false image and ensures they’re viewed positively among the triangle. In many instances, the abuser will portray themselves as the victim, especially if they feel their partner is growing tired or aware of their manipulation, hypocrisy, and abuse. The abuser will react by planning their partner’s discard by starting a full-fledged smear campaign behind their back. So by the time they dump their partner, the abuser already has a circle of blind supporters.

The abuser will usually seek supporters that he/she knows will always agree with them no matter what. This is how they set up their partner to look like the abuser in the relationship long before the relationship is over. For this to work, the abuser must keep the supporter(s) and partner from sharing information, so the abuser will usually share mean comments each has said about the other.

The abuser uses this triangulation tactic to control the information shared between the parties providing the abuser with the power of being the primary contact person and transferer of information. Since everyone is communicating through the abuser and not with each other, the abuser can further their agenda by relaying their spin on the information between the parties.

The Pre-Discard and Dump:

When the abuser is about to break up the relationship they will confide in people who they know will agree with them and believe their rendition of the truth. Sometimes they will confide in people who hardly even know their partner, if at all. The abuser will make sure to let their partner know that they have been confiding in other people, and every single one of them agrees with the abuser. Most likely, one of the abuser’s confidants will assume the role of the replacement partner.

After the break-up, the abuser will openly brag about how happy they are with their new partner or make social media posts about it. And if their ex-partner acts jealous or tries to beg them back, the abuser will enjoy the new bonus love-triangle of their own creation. Abuser’s do this to always look good, happy, or like they’re doing their best while trying to tear you down.

Enticing the victim back or Hoovering: Is trying to use any means to get the victim to come back to the relationship. Threats, intimidation, guilt-tripping, love-bombing, enticing, making false promises of change, anything.

Blame-shifting: The victim is held responsible for the harm they suffered. The victim brought it all upon themselves and the manipulator is in no way responsible for their actions. The victim made all the choices which brought them trouble or pain regardless of how much they were manipulated into doing so. The goal is to put the victim on the defense which makes them look and feel guilty while simultaneously masking the manipulator's malicious intentions.

An abuser will blame-shift everything, even the littlest mistakes they’ve made, making themselves out to be perfect beings with no faults or flaws - obviously this disrupts the relationship and causes fights when there’s no accountability on the abusers end whatsoever.

Abuse by Proxy (or Flying Monkeys): This is when the abuser will enlist their friends or people to come after the victim and attack the victim, abuse the victim, or intimidate the victim. Abusers befriend abusers, abusers support abusers. This stage is usually after the break-up when the abuser is trying to get their “revenge” on you.

Love Bombing: Is an attempt by the manipulator to influence a person by lavish demonstrations of attention and affection. The manipulator appeals to the target’s vanity and insecurity. Their interest in the victim will be extreme once they have found their target and their “love” for the victim will be incredibly intense. Its purpose is to override the target’s critical thinking skills so that the abuser can control and manipulate. Essentially they will gain control over their victim by making their emotional state dependent on the manipulator. The abuser will act closer to you than they are given they only just met you, bomb you with loving gestures and affection which gets you easily attached (not real love).

Devaluing: This is the part of the cycle where the abuser does the complete opposite of love-bombing, they may rage, put down the victim or use any means to make the victim feel unloved. Relationships with psychological abusers are very black and white, it goes from love to hate in an instant and back again. Mental whiplash some people call it.

Gaslighting

Is a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. Typically this undermines the victims support group carried out by a combination of other tactics synthesized into a large scale attack on said victim. Making the victim deny the reality they know to be true. Often the abuser is sure of themselves and the victim since the beginning of the relationship has been in a constant state of confusion and questioning themselves. There are many types of gaslighting and ways to gaslight.

Physical Gaslighting. You see this in the 1944 movie Gaslight. The gaslighter will physically, and ever so slightly, distort your surroundings repeatedly and deny repeatedly that anything has changed. In the movie the man is slightly turning down the gas-light in their bedroom a bit dimmer and when his wife asks if the lighting has changed, he denies it and calls her crazy. He does this constantly to get the outcome he wants from his victim.

Emotional Gaslighting. This obviously uses non-physical means to gaslight the victim. Ofen making the victim believe things about themselves that aren't true, like making them out to be the abuser for example. Denying events from the past (days, weeks, years) happened a certain way that the victim remembers it happening and calling the victim crazy, delusional, mentally ill, or telling the victim they are dreaming, manipulative and making stuff up. The abuser then asserts their rendition of the truth and a lot of the time adding details that never happened and asserting that they happened.

Minimization: This is denial coupled with gaslighting. The manipulator asserts that their behavior isn't really as harmful or irresponsible as someone else may be claiming. Often times down playing the behavior by comparing it to others, "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone," or such logic may be present. The goal is to make a molehill out of a mountain, thus letting the manipulator continue the abusive behavior, or at least escape much of the guilt. They act like they don’t see the impact their actions have on others, sometimes they really don’t see it because they’re not reflecting on things they don’t care about.

Amplification: The manipulator will shout out your failures and whisper your successes. Any limelight the victim deserves will be diminished. Their accomplishments will go unnoticed and their shortcomings will be broadcast far and wide. The goal is to drain the victim of the energy to be successful, to make them doubt themselves, so that the manipulator can be the center of attention at all times while belittling the victim.

Emotional Blackmail: Knowing that someone close to them wants love, approval or confirmation of identity, and self-esteem, manipulators will threaten to withhold the emotional support the victim desires or needs, or even take it away altogether, making the person feel that he or she must meet the demands of the manipulator. The goal is to ensure that the victim feels afraid to cross them, obligated to give them their way, or guilty if they resist.

I’ve also seen this in terms of witchcraft/black magick in which the abuser will insist demons or gods have been used to help get revenge on the victim as a kind of deluded “divine retribution” against the victim. I’ve surprisingly heard a lot of stories of people’s abusers using black magic as a threat to their victims. This is blackmailing. All in all, wanting to do vengeful or abusive things using magic to make oneself feel more powerful is a huge red flag.

Monitor and Stalk: The manipulator is always present, lurking behind the victim's back, or from a good safe distance, keeping an eye on him or her. It is common for them to monitor the victim's computer or phone, and even use surveillance equipment in order to follow the person's every move. The goal here is simple: maintain knowledge of everything the victim says and does, their coming and going, and who they know. Check your vehicles for tracking devices, they can be under the car, behind a license plate, in the engine blending in, in the wheel well, or behind one of the tires, in the trunk, or even inside the car under the seats or under the dashboard area.

Personality Traits/Patterns

Vindictiveness: This is a disturbed personality trait that all psychological abusers possess. They are extremely revenge-prone, incredibly abusive with their revenge, and often entitled and self-righteous with their revenge. They believe they have a right to abuse the victim that they perceive as deserving of abuse. Often perceiving things in a cognitively distorted manner (research terms: cognitive distortions, distorted object relations).

Deceitfulness:

Public and Private Personas: Psychological abusers are notoriously known for having a public personality that they may show around school, their unaware friends and family, and a private personality that they unleash who they really are around other abusers or victims of theirs. Victims and other abusers are the only ones that see their private personas.

Tracfones and aliases: An alias is a fake name and identity they go by to get away with their abusive behaviors. Tracfones are also known to be used to get away with crime.

Charm: Charming behavior is used obviously to charm people and get people to like the abuser. Abusers are typically good at charming anybody they come across because it also helps hide their abusive personality.

Cognitive Distortions. A cognitive distortion is an exaggerated or irrational thought pattern. Cognitive distortions are thoughts that cause individuals to perceive reality inaccurately. Abusers rely on cognitive distortions to justify bad or aggressive behavior. One example of how they distort reality is mislabeling a person as stupid or useless because they don’t know what the abuser knows; this is a pathetic attempt for the abuser to lift their self-esteem by feeling superior to others. Another example of a cognitive distortion is mislabeling a person's identity we see this with:

Distorted Object Relations. The abuser tends to relate to others primarily as objects to satisfy their own needs and desires, rather than seeing them as unique individuals with their own feelings and perspectives.

Victim Complex. The abuser is a perpetual victim and sees themselves as victimized when they often are not being victimized. They enjoy taking on a masochistic role where they perceive themselves as being attacked or offended where there is no offense in reality, giving them ample opportunity to perceive the real victim as the bad guy so they can cause chaos and drama to fuel their abuser-supply. The cycle of abuse is called the cycle of abuse for a reason; they cannot get out of the victim role.

Pompous, Pretentious, Posers and Fake. They cannot be anything but arrogant, liars, exaggerators, making up almost everything about their character to portray themselves as a certain person, or with a certain job or degree or having certain relationships or status that they don’t actually have. We see this in a lot of famous DV cases such as “Dirty John” on Netflix which is a true story of a woman and her daughter’s DV case. We also see this with murderer, Brian Blackwell, who tried to keep his facade of a character he wasn’t up to the point where he snapped and murdered his parents, all over the fact that he was fake and needed to upkeep his perfect image to his girlfriend. Lies are a red flag. Slight exaggerations are a red flag.

Foreshadowing. This is when the abuser plays mind games or drops hints that they’re abusive (it is also a way to shift blame onto you for accepting the abuse and to gaslight you or intimidate you because they “warned you about how they are” when the relationship started.)

Crisis situations. If they have an addiction for example, which is the common one I always hear about, they’ll constantly use it to keep you smothered in their presence, there for them, ect. they will “accidentally” leave pills or a needle where they know you’ll find them so you freak out/stress and so you can be there for them. This is also a part of smothering/enmeshment. Abusers don’t know the difference between their responsibility and yours. If you’re going away on vacation, if you’re going out with friends, if you’re doing anything by yourself or with loved ones and the abuser will immediately have a crisis situation for you to come back running to them or else “you don’t care about them” because you aren’t taking care of their responsibilities.

Framing. They will frame the perfect story over the course of years or decades depending on how long you knew the abuser for. I call this simply “framing”. It’s when the abuser frames you for specific problems or for abuse from the very beginning of when the relationship first started.

Double Bind: In the manipulator's eyes the victim is damned if they do and damned if they don't. Regardless of which choice is picked the manipulator will always point out that the person should have picked the other. This may be accompanied by remarks such as "Well if you had done this I would have done something great for you, but forget about it now." The goal here is to beat the victim down psychologically and emotionally, in order to make him or her question and doubt their own intuition and judgment.

Double-Mindedness: The manipulator seeks the double advantage of being able to do wrong, of being able to have their will, of letting their passions rage, and the hypocritical advantage of seeming to be good, helpful, or supportive. In short, double-mindedness is to say one thing and do another, to do unto others what they are not willing to be done unto them. The manipulator can only accomplish said task by engaging in the self deception of doublethink.

Doublethink: To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which canceled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them, to use logic against logic, to repudiate morality while laying claim to it, to forget whatever it was necessary to forget, then to draw it back into memory again at the moment when it is needed, and then promptly to forget it again, and above all, to apply the same process to the process itself.

Hurt and Rescue: A drowning person will clutch at a straw, so push them in the water, then throw them a rope. Hurting the other person does not necessarily mean physical harm and it may not even mean making them feel bad, but it does mean creating a situation that they want to resolve. The goal is to get the victim to play into the manipulator's hands so they can rush to their “rescue” only to trick the victim into trusting, believing, or becoming dependent upon them. The abuser sets up a problem, the victim is hurt, then the abuser rushes to their rescue as the hero.

Covert Aggressive Abuse: Insults are disguised as teachings, helping, giving advice, and offering solutions. The manipulator makes them appear as a sincere attempt to help, especially to others. This can also be followed by put-downs, and disappointment from the manipulator and anyone else who they have convinced of the victim's inferiority. The goal is to belittle, control, and demean the victim while covering up the appearance of wrongdoing on the manipulators behalf.

Setting up to Fail: The manipulator puts their victim in such a state of stress, or stressful situation, that failure is almost certain, wherein the outcome can be used as ammunition to discredit and blame the victim. This can be done covertly as well, using sabotage or undermining an objective that may otherwise have been achievable. This type of manipulation may be the projection of the bully's own feelings of inadequacy onto the victim.

Moving the Goalpost: When the manipulator has control of the situation they will redefine the victim's goals, in reality, to intentionally devise a way so as to assure that an athlete, for example, will ultimately never be able to finally achieve the ever shifting goals. Depending on how this is done the goal may be to humiliate the victim, keep them preoccupied so as to accomplish nothing else with their time, or to simply wear them out.

Brandishing Anger: The manipulator puts on an act of furious explosive anger, verbal abuse, or physical threats. If the victim is in a trance or has previously been manipulated by the abuser, with just one incident of such behavior the victim can become conditioned and trained to avoid upsetting, confronting or contradicting the manipulator ever again. The goal is to establish dominance or superiority, and complete and unquestionable compliance, over victims through fear.

Brainwashing: Also referred to as heart washing, is the act of changing a person's mind or heart by using extreme mental or emotional pressure or abuse. This is typically done when the victim is extremely outmatched by their manipulator either mentally, physically, economically, or socially. This can be achieved a number of ways but usually the victim is in a situation they feel they can’t escape, and will involve several tactics simultaneously. The goal is to convince the victim into believing their viewpoints about life, believing their view of certain people or a specific person, or something else and that the victim needs to be realigned to the viewpoint of the manipulator.

Insinuating Comments: The manipulator knows the victim's weaknesses and buttons. They purposely push and pull on these to get a reaction. Often they will speak with double entendres or innuendos to confuse and hurt the victim simultaneously while maintaining plausible deniability of any hurtful intention. The goal is to drain the victim emotionally, wear them down, and to feed the manipulator’s ego or sense of power/control.

Silent Treatment: The manipulator refuses to communicate and uses emotional and/or physical withdrawal as punishment. This is to convey contempt and communicate that the person is not worthy of the manipulator's acknowledgement. The goal is to render the victim powerless to change the current situation and induce feelings of abandonment or rejection. If the manipulator withdraws emotionally the victim can become love starved for their affection/attention.

This is different from Gray Rock which is a technique victims in abusive relationships can use to not engage with the manipulative person in their life. You’re doing it to avoid gaslighting, fights and the feeling like you’re going off your marbles, whereas the abuser uses the silent treatment as a way to gain power and control over you, usually because they’re pissed you’re not doing what they want.

Roles in a household

Scapegoating. Manipulators subject the "whipping boy" to constant negative treatment and blame they don't deserve. Manipulators unconsciously project their own unwanted feelings and problems onto the victim. The punishment which the scapegoat has to endure is a direct projection of the manipulator's own insecurities. Scapegoating is a deliberate act of torment against another person for the cathartic pleasure of the manipulator and their cohorts. The scapegoat is often blamed for all the problems that arise, they are most likely to have DARVO used against them (they are blamed to be the abuser by one or multiple abusive family members). A lot of the times when abusive parents (or even other family members) don’t want to take accountability for their mistakes they regret or don’t want people to know about, everybody can dump their projections and insecurities onto the scapegoat.

Golden Child. This is the kid who is looked at as the perfect extension of the manipulative parent(s). They fit the role of being perfectly exploited by a parent that seeks attention, adulation, and success. This child is used for the parents' need for a perfect image. This is usually the sibling that becomes the most successful but not always. They are typically the favorite kid.

Invisible Child. Usually completely ignored. The parents (and sometimes siblings are manipulated to do the same) never speak to this kid, and may genuinely completely ignore their existence. If there are 5 members of the immediate family and it is dinner time, the parents might put down 4 plates at the table, not call them to dinner and have dinner with everybody else, just to further control and ignore the invisible child. A lot of people's situations will be different in how they experience the role. This is one example.

[hopefulromances]

Long Time Coming I Chapter Nine I Electric Love

Summary: Being hired as the first female assistant coach in the league was a challenge of it itself. Being a football protigy and University Football Legend was easy enough. Coaching Jamie Tartt was a challenge all on its own.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warning: Some angst

A/N: Enjoy

Prologue One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight

Jamie gave me some space, for which I was grateful. We had our final match coming up and our dreams of promotion were just in sight. I wanted to be able to focus on what that, the match, which was the most important thing I’d be a part of. But of course, there was only one thing on my mind, and it was Jamie. Without having Jamie around to talk to, I found myself missing him more and more.

I moped my way through the day. Coming to work, going to my desk, going to the pitch, eating a plain salad, and going home. I didn’t want to let it affect my work so when I was on the pitch I tried to stay as unbiased as possible. But honestly, I felt more inadequate than ever. It didn’t help that the media seemed to be shining a light on every mistake you’d ever made in the league.

 “Look, all I’m saying is that she’s too much of an amateur to be on the team,” George Cartrick stated firmly on the Soccer Saturday show. “A woman cannot teach a man.”

“Now, George!” Jeff Stelling defended. “(Y/N) (L/N) has performed admirably under Lasso’s leadership.”

“She’s barely out the womb! What makes her think she’s qualified to be in the Premiere League?” George shot back. “She needs to pack her bags and get out of Richmond before she loses them a chance at promotion.”

I turned my phone off, running a hand through my hair in frustration. Maybe he was right. Maybe I wasn’t ready for this job.

            “George Cartrick is a twat with shriveled balls.” Roy’s voice entered from his side room. “And I should know, he constantly wears pants that show them off.”

I glanced up at him, stuffing my phone in my pocket. “Yeah, thanks, Roy.”

            “Hey, Roy’s right,” Ted agreed. “With the sentiment, I’ve never seen George’s testicles myself.”

I rolled my eyes and rested my head on the desk. I appreciated their sentiment I really did but I was just so BLAH at the moment that nothing they seemed to say or do really help. I was in a funk. A funk I had put myself into. Ted, Roy and Beard exchanged glances with each other.

            “You know, (Y/N),” Ted said, turning to face you. “You can talk to us about anything. Honorary Diamond Dog meeting.”

I peeked out of my arms to look around the room. Nate wasn’t in the room, so I didn’t have to worry about his sorry ass judging my for my pitiful nature. I lifted my head and took a deep inhale.

            “I’m putting space between me and someone I really care about, and I thought it would make me feel better but instead its hurting me more than anything has ever hurt me before.” It all came out in a fast stream of consciousness, not breathing until I got the statement out.

            “Wait, if this is someone you cared about, why are you putting space between you and them.” Beard questioned, finally joining the conversation. You pursed your lips, trying to figure out how to tread this line. There was no way in hell you were telling this group of people about Jamie.

            “Well, um, I was afraid my feelings were getting in the way… and he didn’t care about me the same way I cared about him.” I decided to say. “I thought that I needed to give myself time to get over him.” Beard opened his mouth to say something, but I didn’t let him say anything. “But instead of getting over him, it’s making me want him even more. And I’m trying to focus on the game but everyone and their mom is expecting me to fail! And all I want is to talk to this person because I know they would support me but now I’m afraid to even talk to him!”

Ted raised his eyebrows and let out an impressed whistle. “You got all that cooped up in that head of yours?” I nodded. “Well, no reason you’re in a funk. Look, (Y/N), I think you need to take a note out of a certain snow queen’s book and ‘Let It Go’.”

            “Frozen, classic,” Roy approved, nodding his head.

            “Wait, wait, wait. Let what go?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

            “Well, it seems to me that you are holding on to every feeling, thought, and possibility,” Ted elaborated. “You hold onto all of that you’re gonna pop!”

You frowned at him. “Weren’t you the one who said that sometimes we should keep things inside?”

            “That was before I met the feeling of letting it go! It really works.”

            “It’s true, letting go is great, that’s how I do it,” Roy agreed.

            “Roy! You’re one of the most private people I know!”

            “I’m private, but I also have a very healthy relationship with my emotions and know who and when to trust people with my sharing,” he pointed out, shrugging.

Dammit I hated when he was right. I blew a raspberry and face planted on the table. I wanted to listen to them, and just let things go, but tomorrow was the big day. Maybe it was something I’d worry about later. For now, I’d just focus on the game.

That was my plan at least. But as I was leaving that night, someone pulled me into the boot room. I whipped around to see Jamie looking at me.

            “Jamie what-“

            “Hush, now, last time you got to talk and I didn’t so now you’re gonna listen to me.” He spoke so quickly that you could barely process exactly what he was saying to you.

            “Jamie I-“

“Hush!”

            “But I-“

            “Just listen!” He grabbed me, holding a hand over my mouth. I frown at him but stayed quiet. “I just want to tell you that I was wrong, yeah? I was wrong about everything. I don’t love Keely. I love you.”

My eyes became saucers as I realized what was happening. I knocked his hand away from me, suddenly feeling hurt. He was lying to me. He was giving me his pity. Well, I didn’t want it.

            “Jamie, please stop.” I felt my lip begin to tremble. “You’re being mean.”

            “No, no, no! I mean it!” He insisted, taking me by my shoulders and forcing me to sit down on the bench. He started picking at his fingers as he paced back and forth. “I really do, I was just- I was confused. I had this feeling, like… fluttery stuff in my stomach. And the last time I had that feeling you hated me, and I was with Keely. So… I guess I thought that I was getting that feeling again because of her. But when I told her it didn’t feel right. Then you told me how you felt, and I was so confused.” He finally paused and looked at me. “I know I’m slow, (Y/N), but I get there eventually.”

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but I really couldn’t think of anything to say. I was still scared that this was all a joke. That somehow, he didn’t actually love you and he was just trying to get you back in his life no matter what. He held up a hand to silence you.

            “You don’t need to say anything, I know you probably don’t believe me, but I mean it.” Gave me a sideways smile, a hint of his normal cocky self coming out. He stalked forward and bent down, so he was eye-level with me, his face just inches away from mine. “And when we win tomorrow and get promoted, I’ll be doin’ it for you, love.”

The pet name fell so easily off his tongue and I felt my cheeks start to heat up under his gaze. His smirk grew as he saw the blush on my cheeks, any semblance of the anxious boy from before was gone. He gave me one last nod, a wink following it before he turned and left. I was left sitting dumbfounded in the boot room.

            “What… the… fuck?” I finally spouted, bringing my hands up to my cheeks.

            “That was something!” Fucking Will. I turned and looked at him, watching curiously as he shined some shoes. “The two of you are cute!”

I stared at him, still reeling from the interaction. At least there was someone else to there to prove that the interaction actually happened. I didn’t know how to feel. Part of me still believed that Jamie was lying as a way to get me to act normal again, and I honestly wouldn’t blame him. But the other part of me felt like I was soaring. Jamie liked me? No, LOVED me! Could this really be happening?

From then on it felt like I was on auto pilot. Leaving the club, getting home, doing my nighttime yoga. It was all like machinery as I figured out exactly how I should feel about everything. Tomorrow, everything would be different. Whether or not we’d be promoted was one thing but what happened with Jamie and me was entirely different.

It seemed like the whole world was on edge the day of the game. Ted was dealing with his personal life being on display, Roy was having the pain of having his feelings hurt, Beard was on the rocks of Jane (again, and Nate was… well he was acting weirder than normal. All we needed to get promoted was a tie, at the least, but Brentford was a formidable challenger.

I stood in the locker room, drawing up the formation on the board. We were running Nate’s new false nine strategy. It was certainly a choice to try a new tactic so late in the season, especially with promotion on the line but the tactic was good. Colin stood with me, chatting with me about his night and the parking ticket he’d gotten for parking half on the curb outside his house.

            “I swear I didn’t even feel the curb when I parked!” He whined, stretching his arms.

            “Colin, you’re a professional footballer,” I pointed out. “Just pay the ticket. And please, for the love of God, if you feel a bump, stop driving forward.”

He rolled his eyes at me glancing over to say hello to Sam as he walked into the room. Even Sam was had something going on. Edwin Akufo was on his ass about making a decision regarding joining his super team or whatever. I gave him a heartfelt smile which he returned. We all had chips on our shoulders, and this game would prove exactly what we could do with them.

The game did not start well. Brentford scored just twenty minutes into the game. Then again taking us into the half 2-nil. There had to be a solution to this. These guys could play this tactic easily but there was something disconnecting them from the execution of it. Going into the locker room, I could feel the anxiety and disappointment seeping from the lads.

            “I’ma shoot y’all straight. This is bleak, yeah?” Ted started the conversation. “I mean, look at it out there. Looks like a Renaissance painting portraying masculine melancholy.” We looked out into the locker room. It was true, they looked almost angelic in their portrayal of their grief. “Okay, so now what? What are we gonna do?”

            “We should abandon the false nine,” Nate suggested, shaking his head. “It’d work if we had players who knew what the fuck they were doing.”

            “That’s not true, Nate,” I snapped, standing from my seat. Nate glared at me, but I pressed on. “They are perfectly capable of preforming a false nine, they just…” I closed my eyes picture the pitch. “They need to change their perspective.”

            “I agree with (Y/N),” Ted chimed in. “You know, they just had 45 minutes to figure out what not to do. What do you think, Roy?”

            “You should ask them,” Roy offered. “They’re the ones out there actually doing this shit.”

Ted glanced at me then Beard. It was a good idea.

            “Yeah, all right.” We made our way out into the room, gaining the attention of the boys.  “All right, fellas. Coaches and I are are having a little debate and wanna get ya’ll’s take on it. Should we stick with the false nine or switch it up?”

The room was silent as the team thought it over, glancing around das they waited for someone else to speak. It was Jan Maas who stepped up first.

            “The tactic is sound,” he said. “and we’re all perfectly capable of executing it.”

            “Yes, you are,” I encouraged. “The false nine is about deception, playing offense through the guise of defense.” I walked over to the white board where I had drawn up the tactic before the game. “You’re playing too forward, and Brentford sees the moves you make before you make them.” I pointed to the different players. “Fall back, make them come to you, look for the gaps. That’s how you score.”

I turned back around and saw all the eyes on me. I felt a rush of gratitude going through me as I appreciated their sincerity. I deserved to be here, and they knew it. Then my eyes fell on Jamie, who was listening with a soft smile on his face. I felt myself start to smile too.

            “It will work,” Jan Maas agreed.

            “Hey!” Ted interjected. “If Jan Maas says it, you know it’s the truth, right?”

Jamie nodded. But he wasn’t nodding about Jan Maas. He was nodding about the way you had explained the technique to them. As if you were on the field with them, knowing what was going through their minds as they played.

We ended our team meeting with the whole team laying hands on our believe sign. This was it. The moment the team became a family. Going out into the second half, it was like an entirely different team. Before we knew it Sam had scored a miraculous goal and all we needed was one more.

I found myself holding my breath as Jan Maas sent a pass to Jamie. I held my breath as he took control of the ball and started towards the goal. Then a Brentford play was sliding into Jamie’s legs sending him stumbling to the ground. I let out a shout of distain as the crowd cried  to the referee. Then we got it! The referee called a penalty. Jamie hopped up and took the ball.

I knew he could make this goal easily; He hadn’t missed a penalty all season. He turned for a moment to look over at us on the sideline, and his eyes met mine. I could tell he was considering something and was looking at me for something, reassurance?  Whatever he was thinking, I knew he needed to follow his gut, so I gave him a nod. He nodded back to me. Then he did something unexpected. He gave the ball to Dani.

Jamie gave up his chance to be called the savior of Richmond. Because that’s not what he needed to do. In this moment, he needed to get Dani his confidence back.  Gone were the days that Jamie was afraid that Dani would replace him. Instead, he was working with him to allow the team to shine.

In that moment, I decided I didn’t care if the whole world stopped, all I wanted was to be with Jamie.

Which was good because it felt like the whole world did stop as Dani prepared to score. Time stood still as he ran towards the ball, and with one fell swoop Dani scored, tying the game. The stadium erupted into cheers and excitement. We did it, we really did it.

…

The excitement and celebrations of promotion lasted at least an hour as we paraded around the club. The boys found a bar to go to nearby to celebrate the win together. But I had unfinished business here, and I hoped Jamie would find me.

I stood on our pitch, hands in my pockets as I planned out what I was going to say. I was going to tell him that I loved him, too. That I wanted to be with him. That nothing else mattered. But then I saw him, big smile on his face, as he walked towards me in his red vest and ICON hat and everything, everything I planned left my head.

            “Well, what did I say?” He bragged as he walked towards me. “Promoted, eh? How’s it feel to be in the presence of greatness?” I stared at him as he came to stand in front of me. On our pitch. The same pitch I’d chewed him out on just a year ago. He cocked his head at me, raising his eyebrows. “What is it? Why you lookin’ at me like that?”

I grabbed him by his vest and pulled him down to kiss me. He recovered from his surprise in time to grab me by my waist and tugged me closer to him. Electricity shot through me as his lips fit mine just right. How was I supposed to kiss anyone else now that I knew what kissing Jamie was like? It was heated, it was sweet, it was passionate.

It was like fucking lightening.

A/N: To be continued...

Tag List:

@heletsmelovehim @higherthanheroes @ajax-petropolus-wife @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @optimisticsandwichgladiator @kno-way-home @sleepy-time @wigglegiggle @skewedcherries @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @snubug @rana030

[morlock-holmes]

The Last Psychiatrist's book came out, which led me to two reviews, both of which call him out for saying stuff that is obviously crazy but both of which also contain incredibly bizarre statements just tossed out there with seemingly no self-consciousness about whether they are just as odd as anything TLP has written:

I'm just going to ignore those parts of Scott Alexander's review that are like that to focus on a pet peeve:

(The Bible describes very clearly what angels look like. Everyone agrees the Bible is the authority on angels, maybe the only primary source for them at all. All Western culture for 1500 years has been based around the Bible. There are hundreds of millions of people who take the Bible completely literally and read it every day. The Bible says - Revelations 22:18 - that if anyone changes the Bible in any way even by a single word they will be punished with eternal torture. And yet nobody’s mental image of an angel, nor any popular artistic depiction of an angel, has anything in common with the Biblical description. This is the highest-grade antimeme I feel comfortable using as an example; if you don’t see the fnords they can’t eat you.)

I mean that's... that's just definitely not the case.

Alexander links to this review by Zero HP Lovecraft (Whom I am unfamiliar with) who says,

I want to explain some things to you now that you probably feel deep in your bones but probably haven’t found the time to articulate. Whenever someone talks about “capitalism” like it’s a hostile alien living among us, they are either wittingly or unwittingly agitating for communism. They may not even realize it. Everyone feels some measure of discontent in their life and the lazy, fashionable scapegoat for this in current year america is “capitalism.” If you blame capitalism for your problems, no one will take it personally, and many of the other monkeys around you will make agreeable noises. But there is exactly one group of people who blames all their problems on capitalism, and that is communists. If you blame your problems on capitalism, you are a communist. If you talk about “late capitalism” or “late stage capitalism” you are (possibly unwittingly) claiming that the return of Christ glorious worker’s uprising is nigh, repent repent, every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Georgius Christ is Floyd. There are two ways you can try to get out of this: the first is “yes, and” and the other is “no, but”. If you’re part of the first group, you’re irredeemable. Communism, much like being a woman, is a congenital condition, and it can’t be cured, though sometimes you can treat the symptoms. If you aren’t a communist, but you scapegoat or criticize capitalism, then you are at the least participating in communism, but it may not be your essential nature. The slur for these people is “neoliberal” — a word that means someone who likes communism in theory but is just slightly too pragmatic to ever get past second base with her. You’re the ones I’m trying to help. We can tell TLP is in this second group because although he talks about capitalism, he saves his worst vitriol for “the media,” which is a right wing dog whistle, just like talking about capitalism is left-wing dog whistle. When a man is sending you mixed signals, it means he himself is confused.

This is more batshit than anything that he quotes from TLP.

I'm trying to figure out if this means:

"Capitalism" is a word that refers to every possible human economic system other than communism, such that by definition the only possible alternative is communism;

"Capitalism" and particularly "Communism" are not specific historical economic systems, but in fact names for the exactly two economic systems that can exist;

Current technological or political realities ensure that it is literally impossible to create any economic systems other than capitalism or communism at this particular moment, such that opposition to one is de facto support of the other

The first two would be bizarre, and even the last is, uh, contentious but reading further this guy wasn't pulling a schtick, he's just a depressing John Bircher who knows that if he pretends that he's giving you some secret post-normie secret insight we'll just forget everything about American history. Guys, did you know that blacks are inferior to whites, and more criminal, that only super insightful insight porn writers have ever come up with such an out-of-left field crazy idea that no american normie could ever actually believe?

Honestly, fuck this depressing fascist. His ilk are going to be running the country soon, complaining about how hamstrung they are as they march people into camps. It's amazing how good he is at selling the most normie American bullshit as, like, forbidden knowledge that only the most enlightened masters have cued into.

Honestly his opinions seem to be:

Men have been feminized, and that's bad;

White racial pride has been atenuated, and that's bad;

Trans people are mutilating themselves, and need to be stopped;

Blacks are more criminal than whites, and need to be controlled

But sold as, like, this forbidden knowledge that only somebody as smart as him could come up with. It's amazing how these people will see a finger-wagging leftist and then decide that said leftist must be running American politics.

I am poorer for having read this dumb bitch.

[shynerdwantscuddles]

Ok, so I’m going to walk y’all through some of the basics of spotting antisemitism as gently as I can muster, considering a lot of y’all have been ignoring Jews trying to teach you this stuff for years:

Jews controlling the world, banks, or media is rooted in antisemitic conspiracy theories. Another version of this is the idea that Jews are a part of some secret organization.

Jews being stereotyped as greedy, rich, and untrustworthy is an antisemitic trope that has existed since well before the Holocaust.

Anything involving Jews drinking blood, killing babies in rituals, or stealing children is rooted in blood libel, which is old antisemitism and VERY antisemitic.

“Noticing patterns” is an antisemitic dog whistle. Also sometimes spelled “noseticing” to mock Jewish people's noses. It’s tied into the conspiracy theory that Jews control everything.

If you see someone’s name surrounded by parentheses like this ((insert name here)) that’s called the “echo” and is used by neo-Nazis to signal to other Nazis that a person is Jewish.

Saying Jews are in league with Satan is an obvious antisemitic thing, but it can sometimes be snuck into media, statements, and posts in more subtle ways. If someone has the Bible verse John 8:44 in their bio or posts, they’re probably a Nazi. Jews are also sometimes portrayed as having horns or other devil like characteristics. This is also old antisemitism.

Media that portrays characters as having very exaggerated, hooked noses while being stereotypically mean, unattractive, or greedy-looking is often intended to be Jewish caricatures. This one’s a bit harder to explain, but if you want a perfect example of this, look up a Nazi-era propaganda poster and compare it to the goblins in the Harry Potter movies and video game. There’s even a Star of David in the goblin run banks in one of the movies. It’s so blatant.

These are just some common, basic examples of antisemitism. I’ve witnessed almost every single one of these multiple times on Tumblr alone. Some other things to keep in mind are that Jews are only .2% of the population, and I’d be suspicious of anyone trying to make that percentage look bigger to suggest we have more influence and control than we do.

[callimara]

So I want to start off this by saying that I also fully, 100% support the freedom of Palestine, and I don’t want this to one off like I do. I know that saying “don’t be antisemitic while talking about Palestine” is a big Zionist dog whistle, but… that doesn’t mean we can just be antisemitism in our defense of Palestine, y’know?

Israel does not have control over mainstream media. They have some control over what information comes out of Palestine, yes, but they don’t control the mainstream narrative, and saying that they do is was to close to the old “Jews control the media” conspiracy theory for my comfort.

The reason that mainstream narratives support Israel is because America (which is deeply antisemitic and islamophobic on its own) profits off the continued existence of Israel, and any country allied with America is going to be motivated to agree with america on international issues like this. Israel has very little influence on it. Israel hold very little power outside of what western governments give it.

Anyways, from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free, but we don’t have to be antisemitism to get there.

This is so important because it's absolutely right. What Israel is doing doesn't make it ok to be antisemetic or incite hate on Jews because Israel does not reflect on all Jews.

A lot of Jews, including many Holocaust survivors, have been protesting for Palestine's freedom because this isn't a war of religion. What Israel is doing violates MANY Jewish laws and many of the politicians don't give two shits about Judaism unless it's to claim indigeneity so that they can justify their apartheid regime and colonialism. Because the fact is, Zionism is completely secular.

Part of Israel's marketing scheme to sell the idea of The Jewish Homeland to Jews and get them to immigrate and settle in Palestine is conflating religion with race and erasing the unique identities of Jewish people from different cultural backgrounds. What they love to do is claim that every Jewish person in Israel are Mizrahi (and thus have always belonged there), when many of them are actually Ashkenazi. But they don't want to acknowledge that, because it makes them seem less indigenous. (And perhaps that's why ancestry tests are so heavily regulated in Israel. Like, you are NOT allowed to take one just for fun.) Let's also not forget that if you are not Ashkenazi (like Yemeni or any other non-European Jew, for instance) you are more likely to be marginalized.

So in a way, they are erasing their own cultural identities in order to justify their colonialism, which is fucked in itself.

And regarding Israel's dominance in mainstream media, yes, this person is also correct. Western media is heavily biased towards Israel because their countries directly profit from Israel's existence as a western foothold in the middle east. I especially love the statement, "Israel hold very little power outside of what western governments give it." because it's true, and it makes it even more fucked up because the western governments COULD have said something about what Israel is doing. They COULD have stepped in and stopped all of this from happening.

But they chose not to.

Which means they should ALL be held accountable for what is happening in Palestine, not just Israel.

[sanjisblackasswife]

Hiya Tate! I love your writing! May I please request some SFW and NSFW headcanons of Zoro with a thicc and curvy fem s/o, please? I live how you write our favorite booth hunter. Stay awesome!

A/N: Hiiii :) Ur a doll thank u! Enjoy! This may not be too long because I made a similar HC to this but I enjoy writing him so why not lol.

Zoro with a Thick/Curvy S/O (SFW & NSFW)

Black Fem Reader in Mind

SFW

I believe Zoro loves strong willed women. The type that can handle their own and not afraid to back down to a fight.

More importantly though he loves ass.

Appearances was never an issue for Zoro if he liked you he liked you, but the fact that you had more meat on your bones was like frosting on the cake

However if Zoro did have a type physical wise I’d say he would naturally gravitate to thicker/larger women. He wouldn’t blatantly say it but it shows lol

But at the end of the day he likes what he likes

He thinks your cellulite and stretch marks are nothing to make a big deal over so when you make negative comments about it he’ll just roll his eyes. He also will trace over them when he lays on you

He loves rolls too you’ll sometimes catch him poking at it like a damn dog playing with a toy. It’s cute but can get annoying

Zoro obviously loves laying on your thighs, butt, or breast. It’s a cushion that can’t be replaced by any pillow ngl

He Lowkey is freaked out/amazed by how naturally warm you are. During the winter season prepare to be this man’s personal heater because he will never let go

He has mindlessly picked you up and threw you over his shoulder whenever you got mad whether it’s with him or someone else he kind of has a 6th sense of knowing when you’re about to do the absolute most and nips it in the bud completely

He won’t ever point out if you gain weight, he’ll obviously notice but unless you tell him he won’t say anything. He won’t really care either unless it begins to truly mess up your health. That’s when he would probably talk to the girls or Chopper about you.

If you ever do decide you want to lose weight he’ll be a little upset because he doesn’t want you to lose your fluff, but will workout with you and be your personal trainer if that’s what you truly desire

Does not tolerate men/women catcalling you or making derogatory statements about you. He hates that. You’re not some kind of animal to whistle at.

Zoro is without a doubt the most loyal man you’ll ever come across, he has no reason to even entertain other women around him. When he’s with you you’re really the only woman to exist in his eyes.

Zoro enjoys showing you off to the love cook so he’ll have you sit on his lap a lot in the kitchen with a sly smirk

I don’t think this is NSFW worthy so I’ll put it here: he touches your butt as a way to get your attention. It’s never sexual (well 90% of the time it’s not). He’ll Pat your butt to say hello, goodbye, or to get your attention. You don’t remember where it started but you have no complaints.

NSFW

Your pussy is a gold mine to him

No listen he loves fat asses but what could possibly top fat asses is your fat 🐱 ngl.

He cups your pussy a lot.

Like a lot.

Like a lot a lot. He has an obsession over your fat cat.

He loves how it feels whether you’re naked or clothed it’s just fun.

He makes THE MOST lewd comments about your naked body

“I love when your body jiggles as I fuck you dumb.”

He just says that bs AT THE MOST RANDOM TIMES

Wall fucking is like a must this man knows how strong he is and you weigh absolutely nothing to him let him do it

Almost Everytime you workout with him it ends with you bent over a bench he cannot control himself when you wear tights

Speaking of clothing he likes grinding against you when your wear dresses or tight bottoms. He’ll try to mask it off like “I’m jUsT WaLkInG BeHiND yOu” but really he wants you to feel his hard on

Whenever you talk down about your body he fucks you in the mirror to show you how pretty you are <3

He definitely loves you being a thick mama because he can manhandle you a little more and it won’t hurt you.

Sit on his face. That’s all imma say. sit on it. Yes he can breathe.

He loves having you on top despite always cumming first because the view is so deliciously overwhelming. Your stomach, your breast, your thighs, all moving at once as you try to keep balance he can cum alone at the sight

You may be thick but you are still dwarfed under this man lmao. You don’t know who has the size kink worse you or him but it doesn’t matter when your meaty thighs are on his wide shoulders as he pounds you silly.

Now when you both are in public he doesn’t like too much PDA. Hand holding, fine, butt pats, okay, MAYBE a kiss on the cheek

But when you two are alone his hands are never not on you. Butt slaps are vicious, and it’s not just a regular slap it’s the one where he slaps and GRABS and SQUEEZE

One time while you were sleep he woke you up with feeling needy and you just suggested him to just fuck your thighs. He never done it before but once he did that was like an internal awakening it felt so damn good.

His brain malfunctions when you wear lingerie. Face is redder than a tomato, the way the fabric is just barey clinging on to your body, most of the time the crotch part of the panties only cover one lip and that just gets Zoro really going

He finds it sexy when clothes barely can contain your fatty parts of your body.

Doggy style is a default between you both, as much as he loves to see your pretty fucked out face, your jiggly ass is mesmerizing .

He loves laying on top afterwards though, your soft squishy body is something he can just melt into and he’ll never admit it but you’re the only woman he ever wants to be with like that.