#dog bless america

[throwdownyourheart]

Howdy y’all! Figured I oughta pin a post to get acquainted.

My name’s Caleb, but you can call me dad. 🤠

Leatherworker, writer, musician, and notorious homosexual.

If you wanna talk to me, my DMs and ask box are always open! Always love when y’all reach out. Not sure how to break the ice? Ask what projects I’m working on, or what song I’ve got on repeat.

I use tags to organize my posts, and you can take a gander at the archive if you want to see more of something particular. These are a few tags you’ll run into the most:

#we've always been around is all my queer shit. Being queer ain’t new, after all — we’ve always been here.

#all good things are wild and free is for all the wild places that make me feel most at home. I’d rather be out there than anywhere else, and these remind me that the world is much bigger than the daily grind.

#life in color is all about Black history, Black joy, Black struggle, and most importantly, the richness and diversity of Black lives.

#lubbock texas is where you’ll find all my horny-on-main posts; it’s been a small way that I’ve worked through/continue to work through my repressive fundamentalist growing-up years. It comes from an old Butch Hancock quote that says “Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in Hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on Earth and you should save it for someone you love.” If you wanna know what cranks my engine, just take a look at this tag. (May or may not have an alt that’s a little more down and dirty. My DMs are open, boys.)

#me is all the pictures of my ugly mug. It’s also where you’ll find all my thirst traps.

#answered asks is pretty self-explanatory. You submit an anonymous ask and wanna see if I answered it? You’ll find it here.

#personal as hell is a cutaway cross-section of how my brain works, the things that matter most to me, or the things that felt like they were written specifically for me about my life.

#death is all the things that remind me how very very short and how very very precious our time here is. Everybody we love will die, and none of us get out of this world alive. These are little reminders to live a good life, and hopes to die a good death.

#dog bless america is all about man’s best friends and most trusty partners.

#chairman meow is for the other guys — cats are a harder sell on the utility of man in their lives, sure, but none of ‘em ever showed the cops where your weed’s at.

#misuse of religion is a catch-all for religion in general, but more often about the suffering and joy and home I was made to bear in Christianity. It’s been a way for me to make peace with my past and the fundamentalism I was raised in. It helps me engage with the faith I left, and reinterpret the 23 years I spent with my life centered around a Jesus I don’t believe in anymore.

#cowboys and #all the pretty little horses because y’all know what I’m about.

#pov: i’m telling you what a good boy you are is for when you need a father figure to help work out your daddy issues.

[realkalel2]

Freedom!!!

[br1ghtestlight]

btw i think its extremely funny that there's a bobs burgers episode about somebody grieving for their dead loved one and holding onto reminders of them, how they died too young and talking about how they never got to meet gene louise or tina and how they wouldve loved them so much etc etc and somehow its NOT about bob's mom, who is like the only character where that plot would make sense

[throwdownyourheart]

Y’all got me fucked up over “Dog” 😭

this never stopped being so crazy

[gengarpng]

Y r they playing the national anthem at a dog show lmao.

[fredscustomrods]

Never under estimate how a dog can love and protect you

[throwdownyourheart]

This is one of my favorite pictures of Sam. I’m missing him so much tonight. I know we did the right thing, and he was ready to go — it still just hurts to say goodbye.

He loved to snuggle, always wanted to be close. There’s nothing I want more than to have him jump into bed and cuddle again.

I love that boy with my whole heart. And the damn thing’s been breaking to pieces since we had to say goodbye.

[nevadancitizen]

HEAD OF FALSE SECURITY MASTERLIST

synopsis: The Soviet Union has been producing robots for a long time based on a miracle compound: polymer. But that was invented in 1941. The current year is 2038, and, due to rising tensions in the Arctic, Americans aren't as kind to Soviets as they once were. It's too bad you're a russki, and it's really too bad that you work in cybersecurity. And honestly, with the case Fowler has put you on, you're at risk of losing your job. It doesn't help that you're stuck with Lieutenant Hank Anderson and some new android apparently called Connor.

A Detroit: Become Human AU with elements from Atomic Heart (2023), in which the international political climate is a bit different and more prominent within the story. The Soviet Union still exists, and she's threatening America by proxy of her invasion of the Arctic.

ships: Connor/Reader, Hank Anderson & Reader

tags: Robot/Human Relationships, Action/Adventure, Action & Romance, Slow Burn, Fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Gender-neutral Reader, Mutual Pining, Minor Character Death

small note: this fic has russian in it (i mean, obviously). i'll be posting the translations in the comments of the fics, so if you're confused, be sure to check them :)

note, continued: also, the reader in this fic is gender neutral. please do not refer to them with feminine or masculine pronouns. instead, please address them by they/them pronouns. this fic is all-inclusive and not meant to alienate anyone -- it's meant to be written so that everyone can read, no matter their personal pronouns!

CH. 1: A Silent Dog & Still Waters

CH. 2: Like a Mouse in a House Full of Cats

CH. 3: Android Autopsy (Or is it Necropsy?)

CH. 4: Without Torture, There is no Camaraderie

CH. 5: Live For a Century, Learn For a Century

CH. 6: Some Sort of Sick, Self-Inflicted Schadenfreude

CH. 7: Does Every Rabid Dog Get its Tail Docked up to the Ears?

CH. 8: Mind Palaces & Other Shattered Crystalline Dreams

CH. 9: If You Chop From the Shoulder, the Ax Will Find Your Hip

CH. 10: Either Fickle or a Friend (Or a Really Fucking Fickle Friend)

CH. 11: Only Philosophy From the Poor Rings True

CH. 12: Friends & Tobacco are Separate Things (& so are Revolutions)

CH. 13: The Joys of Soviet Technologies (or, Good, Honest Snake Oil – if There is Such a Thing!) (or, Let's Talk Homecoming (the Military Operation, not Prom)) (or, The Smallest Church in Saint-Saëns) (or, Wake up & Smell the Ashes)

CH. 14: No Misfortune is Without Blessing

CH. 15: These are the Moments

EPILOGUE: <currently being written...>

[lunatic-pudge]

TF2 Mercs Green Flags (except it's very biased)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love my boys. Yes, this is biased and questionable. But this is meant to be cute and fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scout:

-Silly little goober, great person to be around when you need cheering up

-Golden retreiver boyfriend

-Can easily make you laugh without even trying

-Artsy fartsy

Pyro

-Cutie patootie who makes the cutest drawings of you two together

-Owns an Easy Bake Oven

-Master at baking, never-ending supply of sweets for you to indulge in

-Your biggest supporter. Would literally cheer for you if you rob a bank

Soldier

-Also your biggest supporter, will demand that other adore you as well

-Will let you own any pet you want no matter what the animal is

-Speeches of why you're the best thing to ever exist and how America is blessed to have such a beauty like you live there

-Will give you anything and everything you could ever want, like human ears. Definitely a good person to be if you like collecting weird stuff

Demo

-Precious baby boy is a major cuddle bug

-Def knows how to knit/crochet, will make you whatever you want

-Baby man likes learning about folklore/mythology

-He's essentially a big walking teddy bear. Perfect for cuddles, especially on a cold or rainy day

Heavy

-GIANT WALKING TEDDY BEAR

-Protective baby boy, big scary dog privleges

-Bookworm, can recommend a good book if you don't know what to read

-Perfect person to lay around and cuddle with, he can smother me any day. Dates at home are TOP TIER

Engie

-THE BEST PERSON TO GO TO WHEN YOU'RE HAVING AN OFF DAY HANDS DOWN

-Smart boy, can make you stuff that helps with day to day activities which is helpful if you can't do certain things to having a disability or something

-Dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, can't get enough of it

-Voice of an angel, will sing for you if you'd like. Can def sing you to sleep

Medic

-NERD, he's an adorable nerd! Let him ramble about his hyperfixations!

-Def a good pet owner, would kill someone if they don't take proper care of their pets

-Would make sure you take care of yourself, he's kinda like a dad that cares

-He's such a maniac. I can see him just secretly being up to no good all the time. And he's also very girlypop

-Putting an extra for him cause I can: Medic boobs. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

Sniper

-Sweet, precious baby boy who can do no wrong. He strikes me as someone who listens to EVERYTHING when it comes to music. He ain't genrephobic

-Also a collector of weird things. Likes making bone jewlery. Bone boy

-I just love the concept of him being feral? This is probably the weirdest thing on the list. Like there's the golden retreiver boyfriend (Scout), and then there's the feral boyfriend (Sniper). Literally acts like a cat, hiding away from people, hissing when people that aren't you tries to touch him, will demand attention/affection from you, ect. I need to make a more detailed idea of a feral boyfriend so work with me plz

-He would absolutely let you wear his clothes, thinking about how adorable you look. He'd do the same with your clothes if they're big enough for his lanky body. You two swap jackets in the winter time so you guys always have a piece of each other when you two are busy and aren't able to see each other

Spy

-I know a running joke is that Spy is a smelly French asshole, but I really do think that he wears some of the nicest smelling cologne out there. Expensive af colonge, but damn, it's addicting

-Smarty pants. Not just anyone can be a spy, it takes quite a bit of intellect for it. And not to mentions he knows multiple languages? Love it, even if I hate the French language with a burning passion

-Him having a good taste in fashion? He's gotta know what he's doing by wearing suits all the time. Not only does he look fresh af, but people always look so good in a suit, especially when it fits them. But please also picture him dressed in a more romantic goth aesthetic plz, okay I'll stop now

-Is good at paying attention to even the littlest of details about his partners. Even if you're trying to be cryptic or subtle about things, he'll always find out. He's def a protective type too

[onlyplatonicirl]

I JUST GOT MY FIRST UNIRONIC "KYS" IN ANONYMOUS ASK

THIS IS A MOMENTOUS OCCASION I HAVE NOW OFFICIALLY MADE IT BIG

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY PARENTS, MY LITTLE BROTHER, MY DOG, AND MY EIGHTY THREE YEAR OLD GRANDMOTHER FOR ALLOWING ME TO GET HERE GOD BLESS AMERICA

[foralternateuniverses]

New au based on an anime I liked quite a lot when I was a teen (Dog Days)

Anime's summary: protag-kun gets summoned to another world by a dog-eared princess to be her country's hero its a world where the countries and citizens have pastry-themed names, and each country has certain types of animal people, the countries also have protecting wards to keep monsters away hero-kun is summoned to fight in a war, but the wars are literally just an sports events with magic stuff so people can't die, dog princess chose him cuz she used an interdimensional thingy and watched him participate in an America ninja warrior-style thing and did awesomely (he did not win first place tho, he lost to -i think was either his cousin or childhood friend- and she's summoned by the cat kingdom to be their hero in the second season. in the third, the squirrel dukedom joins the wars and summon one of protag's friends tho she's no athlete, she gets to use magic-tech)

So

the ASL brothers are the heroes that get summoned by the different countries also, the citizens who "die" in the war become furballs and are taken to be treated/rest until they can join again if they want, except the important characters, those get their clothes torn

Germa is the kingdom of the cat people, ruled by Sora (Judge was exiled after trying to experiment on their kids) , they're neighbours with Alabasta (rodents) and Whitebeard (dogs) there are, ofc, other countries but these 3 are the ones that matter and the ones that participate the most in the war games the first to be summoned is Luffy by Alabasta's princess Vivi, they've been in a losing streak and are desperate, so hero time it is the Whitebeard gets Ace and, lastly, Sora gets Sabo Germa and Whitebeard had been absolutely dominating the war games

Until Alabasta brought Luffy Ichiji and Ace met at the war game, ofc, Ace had had the intention of going straight for Luffy but Ichiji got in the way and they were pretty evenly matched, tho Ace ultimately won having been the first to ever tear Ichiji's armour -and clothes- off, giving the Germa -and just all- citizens the fan service they've always wanted -and winning himself Niji's undying hatred-

The brothers get to learn that not all in that world is fun and games when it's time to free Dressrosa but after they do Dressrosa joins in the war game and ends up summoning their own hero, their sister, Uta Oh, yeah, and Dressrosa citizens are mostly sheep and the like

Sora is also a bit of a tech nerd-mad scientist, she's just not that into doing human experimentation or weapons of mass destruction she rather make tech-advanced raid suits and spyware a la Totally Spies the raid suits are supposed to be nearly indestructible so the whole "Ace accidentally burning off Ichiji's clothes on international tv" (because the war games are televised, I think I forgot to mention that lmao, there are commentators and all that jazz) incident was a bit of a shock and Niji will have Ace pay for it, preferably with his life lmao

Robin would be a delight as a commentator actually, she works as an archivist/historian (she does fieldwork as an archaeologist/anthropologist) at Alabasta's royal palace but always makes time to be a presenter at the war games and appreciates Franky's (and Galey-la's crew) effort on designing and making the game's fields}

Now, back to acechiji

Ace keeps accidentally burning off Ichiji's uniforms despite how many adjustments and upgrades Sora does to them and is growing convinced that it must be on purpose theif powers come from god-blessed treasures that respond to their wills and desires which is why Ace's fire keeps accidentally burning off Ichiji's raid suits he does want him nakey but it isn't his intention to leave him nakey on international tv lmao

Ichiji starts aiming to burn off Ace's clothes in revenge but Ace has no shame and has won more times than Ichiji has + Ichiji ends up getting embarrassed if he overdoes it and helps Ace over his privates

All the siblings (+ Ace) also start bringing an extra something for Ichiji to cover himself Ichiji just trying to take them both down but Ace has no problem letting it all hang out lmao Sabo daring him to see who gets censored more on live tv

The moment either of them start moving the show editors have their fingers on the audio censor (for Sabo’s swearing) or image blur (if Ace’s outfit dissolves again)

the worst part is that Ichiji is the only victim of Ace's burning-clothes technique germa citizens love and hate in equal measure this fact and Ace suffers cuz no-one believes that it really isn't his intention to do that (in public)

Sabo keeps scolding him and apologizing to the Vinsmokes on his behalf

Marco: don't you think it's enough? I'm starting to feel bad for the poor boy

Ace, crying on the floor: IT'S NOT ON PURPOSE

his own fire is getting in the way of wooing Ichiji (and then there's Niji) meanwhile Nika is probably laughing in the distance -he is the god who blessed these treasures- it'll take a while but Ace will succeed Ichiji easily fell for his charms but his bruised pride gets in the way

the animal peaple also have omegaverse tendencies, for example, they go into heats

picture -> Ichiji going into heat and getting all handsy with Ace and rubbing against him in public and Ace is flattered but also incredibly flustered and confused until Ichiji is dragged away by his brothers so he can have his heat in peace and someone explains the whole heats ordeal to Ace

[sapphirerogers]

Thought I had after reading a bunch of headcanons from @16woodsequ

I think the greatest tragedy of Steve Rogers' life is not the pain he suffered as a child, or the abuse from his father, or the grief of losing people or the tiredness of always having to fight.

The greatest tragedy of Steve Rogers' life is everyone around him knowing him, but simultaneously also ignoring him. Yes, Captain America is famous, he's admired/hated (depends on where you're standing). He's talked about often, asked for advice and leadership, he gets privileges too.

But no one really knows him. No one knows just how hurt he is. How *lonely* he is. How distrustful he is. How anxious and scared he is. No one bothers to find out either.

There's a reason he wanted someone with shared life experiences. Nat may try to get to know him, sympathise with him. Sam - bless his soul - tries his best but even as a veteran himself, he can't really understand everything about Steve Rogers, because a) he hasn't witnessed Steve's entire life, and b) Steve is extremely reserved, both by nature and out of trust issues.

As for everyone else, his teammates aren't nearly close enough to him, and everyone else simply doesn't care.

Everyone knows Captain America but not a single soul knows, or cares about Steven Grant Rogers.

Except...

Except for maybe that one boy who stuck with him and fought off the bullies and patched him up later. The boy who grew up with him and watched him grow up while tackling everything life was throwing. The boy who later on became the man who followed him into the jaws of death (quite literally). The boy who, as far as Steve knew, was now at the bottom of an abyss in the Alps. The boy who he had nothing left of, except dog tags and his own faded pencil sketches.

The boy whose name was James Buchanan Barnes.

[rcmclachlan]

Bless you for sharing bucktommy pregnancy kink I’ll give you my vast (tiny) fortune (it’s not a fortune) in thanks if you ever feel like rearranging my brain again xoxo jack (jackmichaela)

Girl (gn), it was my genuine pleasure. I've been vibrating on a frequency only dogs can hear for the last few months with the need to write some pregnancy kink for this pairing.

Someone needs to put a baby in Evan 'Voted America's Number One Most Breedable First Responder Eight Years In A Row' Buckley, and I think sentient redwood tree Tommy Kinard is just the man for the job.

[iravaid]

i mean this in thee most slash jay way possible but what was in the water the past year to make everyone like this about graves. and also can i have some

If you're asking about the Graves Yaoi Prophecy, that was all me and my undiagnosed neurological condition.

If you're asking why cod of duty girlies were charmed by Graves post-MW2, I would reason to say that Warren Kole's performance as him really sells the character.

His weird little zoolander smoulder during 'your men have been... detained' is so funny to me. Again, his VA's performance turns a character that was otherwise a forgettable 'twist' villain into something that's so funny when viewed out of context:

His name is Philip Graves. Fill Graves. Are you fucking kidding me. He's a cringey girlfailure that lost a tank in a knifefight. But that's okay because he never was in the tank to begin with, of course. duh. He is this vexing, looney tunes contrast to the other more 'serious' villains (Valeria, Makarov, that guy from MW1). His Shadows are cannonfodder that get conveniently killed at every opportunity and yet he still goes about acting like they're anything more than walmart brand mercs. The MW3 trailer oddly fixates on his fertile gyrating hips as he walks through the heli. Everybody hates his entire septic pussy with a burning fucking passion and he knows it. Farah, somehow and for some reason, thinks he's the most special little handbag dog and watches out for hawks on his account. He out-snakes Shepherd by stabbing him in the back at the last moment, arguably the only enjoyable moment from MW3.

He's blond. He's texan. He will never fucking die. God bless america.

[throwdownyourheart]

This is our boy Sampson. We've had him for eight really good years, but now it's time for us to say goodbye.

He hasn't been doing well, and last night the vet confirmed what we none of us wanted to hear, but were afraid might be the case.

It feels too damn soon; but really, I think that even forever wouldn't feel like enough time with him.

Tonight was our last night with him before the appointment in the morning to say our last goodbyes to our best boy.

He's the sweetest, dumbest boy in the world, and I'm so damn happy for all the good years we had with Sam.

I’m gonna miss him so damn much.

[lulu2992]

I'm in the process of putting together a FC5 lore document (that is very geared towards the specific existence of my deputy so I'm duct taping the canon together very crudely), and I've been reading up on your blog (not in chronological order, i dont get how tumblr works anymore) because your thoughts are very helpful ! Thank you for being such a wonderful person and FC5 fan, you've really made my experience with enjoying this game so much better, so bless your whole existence

I wanted to share with you something I found in my research that I remembered as I was reading your ages post from all the way back in 2018: Pre-2002, it's possible that America had no real enlistment criteria based on age, meaning child conscription was possible due to the (takes deep breath) Optional Protocol on the Involvement of Children in Armed Conflict (OPAC). In 2000, they had only signed the treaty but were still pushing for to send 17y.o.'s to war; today, America still recruits as young as 17y.o., they just don't send them to war just yet. I'm thinking that if we go by the dates we've been given, Jacob could have been recruited when he was as young as 16, because the first Gulf War is dated to the beginning of 1991. What are your thoughts?

Oh wow, thank you so much!! And I’m glad my blog has been helpful :D

I didn’t know about the OPAC, but if we want Jacob to be born in 1974 as the Playasia Blog says, that would make sense!

@anna-elizabeth-jason had another interesting theory that could also explain why his dog tags say “JAKOB SEED”: if he was born in 1974 and too young to join the army, he might have lied about his age, and if he did, I think he may have received some help.

In The Book of Joseph, we learn that he went to juvie and joined the military “once he served out his sentence” because it was either “the army or a life of crime” for him, but the book also says “the teachers believed in him” and “some reports praised his sense of honor and leadership skills”, so if he wasn’t 17 yet when he was released, I believe it’s possible those teachers made sure he could enlist anyway. They probably didn’t want him to end up on the street (ironically, he eventually did) and I doubt Jacob liked the idea of going back to the orphanage or being adopted again, so the army sounded like the best option to them. In any case, if some documents were hastily falsified to allow him to enlist despite being too young, that may be the reason his name was apparently incorrectly spelled “Jakob” during his military career.

To be honest, the spelling mistake on his dog tags is most likely an oversight that doesn’t mean anything, but if we want to find a logical explanation for everything, I like this theory!

In the end, we don’t know his canonical age since the game never reveals it, but we can imagine he’s simply over 44 and that’s why he fought in the first Gulf War. After all, Absolution (even though it’s only semi-canon to me) implies Joseph is already in his fifties so that would mean Jacob is ever older. The OPAC and/or the possibility of him lying about his age are interesting hypotheses if we want 1974 to seem less absurd as his year of birth, though :)