#doesn’t matter how upset i am i still gotta try to tag things appropriately. which isn’t a standard i hold anyone else to but. y’know

[seventh-district]

i. am so goddamn tired

CW: i’m probably about to do a lil venting in the tags

[chemist-ana]

The New Rules- Sams POV

Book: The Nanny Affair

Characters: Sam, Ana Schuyler (MC), Robin, Sofia, Mason Sr., Mickey and Mason

Pairing: Sam Dalton (male) x Ana Schuyler (MC)

Rating: 18+

Content Warning: Sexual Language, Adult Language, Sexual Situations

A/N This is a brand new series that I was inspired to write. I am going to go chapter by chapter in Sam Daltons POV. This story is completely inspired by Choices The Nanny Affair. I have used most of the dialogue from the actual story, anything written in BOLD was taken directly from the book and therefore is not my writing- credit to our good friends over at Pixelberry! All characters are credit to Pixelberry except for my OCs

Summary: Life with Sofia around isn’t easy, but we are determined to not let it get to us.

Word Count: 5018- I just can’t seem to control myself with this story.

Tag List: @txemrn @secretaryunpaid @lifeaskim @aussieez @pixie88 @thefrenchiemama @sfb123 @mainstreetreader @shewillreadyou @khoicesbyk @choicesficwriterscreations @lady-calypso

I rarely used to have sleepless nights. Now? They are the new norm. I always wake up before dawn, and try to run the sexual frustrations of my restless dreams of Ana out of my system. I should have known by now, months after introducing her into my everyday life, that running alone doesn’t seem to satisfy my craving of her.

I step out of the shower, feeling the all too familiar burn of my exhausted muscles. I place my hands on either side of my bathroom sink and eye my reflection in the mirror, noticing the dark circles that have formed under my eyes. I take a deep breath and shake my head, here we go again, duty and responsibility right Dalton? Who the fuck am I kidding?

I pad into the kitchen, desperate for a cup of coffee to kick start my clouded mind. I pause for a moment when I see Ana, barefoot in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for the boys. God, I could get used to this view. I think she senses my presence, because she looks up and flashes me her beautiful smile.

“Morning, Ana. Something steamy to start your day?” I ask as I grab the coffee pot and two mugs.

“You read my mind.” She responds with a smile.

I mix her a cup, a little sugar, a little cream. Just how you like it. I hand it to her, our fingers brushing for a moment before she takes it out of my hand. She takes a sip and her lips curve into a small smile.

“So, you are the kids are hitting Coney Island this afternoon?” I lean back on the counter, bringing my coffee to my lips with a grin.

“All the rides and games we can handle. Sure you can’t come?” She glances over her shoulder at me as she mixes the ingredients for breakfast. Waffles I assume, god she does love my boys.

“Tempting, but-“ I hear the elevator ding. The only person who would show up here this early is Sofia. Why didn’t she text me that she was coming over? I drop my shoulders and fight the urge to sigh, I just do not have the energy for this right now.

“Darling!” Sofia walks into the kitchen, setting a grocery bag on the counter and walking up to me, throwing her arms around my shoulders, what the fuck?

“Oh! Sofia, what are you-“

“Saying good morning to my boo-bear, duh!” She chimes, as she tries to pull me in again but I step back with a smile. My eyes flick over to Ana who is watching us with a frown.

“We have company.” I turn my attention back to Sofia and her eyes narrow at me.

“It’s just Ana.” She bristles.

“Yeah… I’ve lost my appetite anyway.” Ana moves to set her coffee cup down on the counter. Damn it Sofia.

“Ana, you don’t have to leave. This is your home too, and Sofia needs to remember that.” Boy I am going to be eating those words later… but Sofia just rolls her eyes at me.

“Whatever. I’m here to see Ana anyway.” Her lips turn up in a devilish grin as she turns her attention to Ana. “Grab me a cup of coffee, and let’s chat.”

I clench my jaw, and take a deep breath as I watch Ana’s face turn to annoyance.

“Sofia, we talked about this. It’s not appropriate to ask Ana to fetch you things.” I see Sofia’s shoulders stiffen at my words, but she turns to the coffee maker and pours herself a coffee. I watch as she purses her lips, clearly biting her tongue.

The boys come running into the room, perfect timing.

“Morning. What’s for breakfast?” Mason asks pushing his glasses up on his nose as he takes a seat at the bar.

“Oooo, waffles! Score!” Mickey smiles as he takes a seat next to his brother.

“I thought you boys could use a little treat for breakfast.” Ana grabs the plate piled high with waffles, a loving smile on her face. I watch her face turn to frustration as Sofia grabs the plate out of her hand.

“Hey!” Ana exclaims.

“Sofia, surely that’s not necessary-“ I try to diffuse the growing tension, but Sofia interrupts.

“This kind of unhealthy eating is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about, Ana.” Sofia says with a smile. Oh great, we don’t all want to eat your cardboard Sof.

“But waffles…” Mason looks at his brother, their excitement turning to anguish.

“Don’t worry, Mickey. I grabbed some fresh spinach and mushrooms to put in an egg white omelette for you and your brother.” Sofia removes the contents of her grocery bag onto the counter.

“I’m Mason.” I cringe at his tone but Sofia appears completely unaffected.

“That’s what I said.” She responds without even looking up.

You are making this so difficult Sofia… why can’t you just get it right? Her matter of fact tone sends a clear message, she doesn’t care. I try to catch her eye but instead she walks over to the trash can and dumps the fresh waffles right into the garbage. I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“Sofia!” Goddamn it.

“Nooooo!” Mickey calls out.

“Sofia! That’s so wasteful! You just threw out perfectly good food!” Red hot color is spreading up Ana’s neck, her fists balled up at her sides.

“We can afford it.” Sofia sets the dish into the sink and gives Ana a smirk.

“Food waste is about more than just money, you know.” I can see Ana’s knuckles turning white as the resentment in her tone grows.

“Sam, back me up here.” Sofia finally turns her attention to me with a challenging look. Oh fuck.

I look back and forth between Ana and Sofia. Shit shit shit, ok, diplomatic answer time Dalton.

“While I don’t agree with her methods… maybe Sofia has a point?” I think that was good?

“Really? Not you too…” Mason trails off. Not now Mason.

“Sam, I know you gotta defend your fiancee, but seriously?” Ana turns her blazing emerald eyes on me.

“We should try to eat a little healthier… as a family.” I give her a pleading look.

“See?” Sofia chimes with victory.

“But Sofia, you owe Ana an apology for throwing her breakfast out. That kind of behavior is not acceptable.” I turn my attention back to Sofia. She narrows her eyes at me and I can see her bite the inside of her cheek.

I clench my jaw, don’t back down Dalton.

Sofia slowly turns to face Ana and utters a quiet apology. God even Mickey could apologize better than that. I shake my head and turn my attention back to my coffee, which has grown cold. I set the mug on the counter.

“Can we still get cotton candy at Coney Island this afternoon, Dad?” Mason has disappointment written all over his face when I look up at him.

“Coney Island? That rat-infested germ factory? Absolutely not! Boys your age need to be educated, not entertained. There are plenty of museums you could go to instead.” Sofia places her hands on her hips and looks back and forth between Mason and Mickey.

I manage to stifle my aggravated laugh. Goddamn it Sofia.

“But Dad! You said we could go ages ago!” Mickey’s eyes widen as he looks between Sofia and I.

“Boys… Sofia is a part of this family now, and we have to respect the adjustments that might require.” I say imploringly. “Besides, a museum doesn’t have to be boring. You two loved it when Ana took you to the planetarium, right?”

“That was totally different.” Mickey looks down at his empty plate.

“Yeah, no one promised we could go to Coney Island first.”

I bite my lip in frustration with a shake of my head. It's going to be a long day.

***

“Isn’t your father back in town now?” Sofia asks breaking me from my thoughts.

I bite the inside of my cheek and take a deep breath. Why did I agree to ride with her again?

“Yes.” I answer without breaking my focus on the people walking down 5th Avenue.

“Sam, darling, you better not be upset about this morning.” She purrs as she places her hand on my thigh.

I turn my attention back to her.

“Sofia, I really would rather not talk about it. I have other things on my mind.” I turn my gaze back to the window. Like Robin, my father, and our meeting this morning. I pull my leg out from under her hand right as the town car pulls to a stop outside of Dalton Enterprises. Perfect timing.

“Well alright, bye boo-bear!” She leans in and presses a soft kiss to my cheek.

“Bye, Sof.” I exit the town car before her driver can open the door, stepping out into the humid morning.

***

I tap my pen against my desk, my mind racing. I glance down at my watch. Are they both actually late? I haven’t seen Robin since my engagement party, fuck, I hope he doesn’t bring up Ana in front of my father.

I hear my office door open and look up to see Robin, his usual cocky smirk plastered across his annoying face. I narrow my eyes at him and it makes him smile even bigger.

“Mornin’ Sammy. How is my favorite nanny?” He sits down in the leather chair across from my desk.

“Rob, I swear to god, leave her alone.” I clench my jaw and ball my hand into a fist on my leg.

He laughs and puts his hands up in defense.

“Sam, really dude? What is going on between you two anyways? Clearly she is into you, you know that right?”

I don’t entertain his question with an answer, instead I look down at the quarterly numbers.

“Sam. What the fuck? You do know. Dude, what are you doing? You are going to be the one to hurt her. I should be telling you to leave her alone.”

“You have no idea what you are talking about.” My eyes fly up to his.

My office door opens again, and I look over Robin's shoulder to see my father enter the room. I turn my gaze back to Robin and shake my head. He gives me a scoff and looks up at the ceiling.

“My boys, it feels good to be back in the city.” My dad takes a seat in the chair next to Robin, looking between the two of us. “What? Did I interrupt something?”

“Did you know Sam got a new nanny for the boys?” Robin places his hands on his knees and leans back in the leather chair. “She is pretty great, isn’t she Sam?”

My whole body stiffens at his words. I clench my jaw and bite the inside of my cheek. Fuck I want to punch that look off of your play boy face, you ass hole. My dad shifts his attention to me.

“Thats great Sam. We want to meet her, I will have your mother call you later to arrange that. Let’s get down to business, shall we?”

***

When I get home that evening, I find Sofia in the kitchen. I walk up and place a soft kiss on her cheek.

“Are the boys home yet?” I set my stuff down on the bar.

“Nope, just you and me. By the way, this house was full of junk food. I took care of it though.” She makes a point to brush her hands as if she was cleaning up a mess. She walks up to me and wraps her arms around my waist pressing her hips into mine. I look down at her brown eyes.

“Soon this will be our home together Sam, I just want everyone to be on the same page.” Sofia bats her eyelashes at me.

“I get it, let’s just take it one day at a time okay? These boys are dealing with a lot of major changes, we need to be a little forgiving.” I lean down and kiss the top of her head. I pull away from her embrace and grab the New York Times off of the counter. “I am going to go read this.”

I take a seat on the couch, my eyes settling on the darkness that is settling over Central Park. I am lost in the transformation that happens between the day and night in this city. I have lived here for damn near my entire life, but I still can appreciate this view. I hear the elevator ding, and then the sound of footsteps echoing through the penthouse. I look up and my eyes land on Ana.

“You’re back. How was your day-“

“We went to Coney Island, and it was the best day of my life!” Mickey interrupts with the biggest smile on his face.

“Don’t tell Aunt Sofia. Okay, Dad?” Mason walks up next to his brother with a matching smile.

“Excuse me?” Sofia walks in behind them, her mouth twisted in anger.

“Uh, boys… why don’t you go start your bath?” I look between the twins and flick my eyes towards their bathroom.

“Dad, are we in trouble?” Mason asks his eyes growing wide.

“Not at all. I’ll come help you in a few minutes.” I give them both a reassuring smile and they turn and run out of the room, avoiding Sofia’s glare.

“You took them to Coney Island? After I explicitly told you not to?” I see Sofia turn her sights on Ana, her scowl deepening.

“Sofia they still had an educational day.” Ana doesn’t back down and color rises on her cheeks. “I taught them about physics and-“

“That’s not the point!” Sofia interjects.

“It seemed like the point this morning…” Ana takes a step towards Sofia, her hands balled into fists at her side.

“Calm down, Sofia.” Shit that usually has the opposite effect. “It sounds like the boys had a good day, plus they got to let off some steam after all these new changes.” I look at Sofia imploringly.

“Are you seriously siding with her?” Sofia wheels on me, narrowing her eyes.

“It’s not about sides. It’s about what’s best for Mason and Mickey.” I say calmly, trying not to get defensive. “And while art galleries certainly have their place in a well-rounded educational experience, I approve of Ana’s decision to take them to Coney Island today.” And I am their father. I hold my breath, gauging her reaction to my words. She stares at me for a moment, I assume because she thinks I am going to back down. I rise to her challenge and straighten my shoulders.

“Fine. I can tell when I’m not wanted.” She narrows her eyes at me one last time before turning on her heal and walking out of the room to call the elevator. Fuck, I am going to be answering for this later.

I take a deep breath as I watch her leave the penthouse, pinching the bridge of my nose and shaking my head. I turn my attention back to Ana, her emerald eyes trained on me.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go after her?” The corners of her lips turn up in a small smile.

“It’ll be better for everyone if I give her some space before we try to talk.” I bite my cheek to keep myself from matching her smile. “She’s gotta learn this relationship is going to have its compromises at some point.”

I cross over into the kitchen, inhaling the sweet scent of Ana as I graze by her. I fight the urge to wrap my arm around her waist and pull her delicious body to my chest. Instead, I open a bottle of merlot and pour us each a glass.

“So, Coney Island, huh?” Our fingers graze as she takes the wine glass from my hand, igniting that all too familiar spark. I lean against the counter and take a sip of the smooth wine.

“Yup.” Her eyes dancing with humor.

“You could at least pretend you feel bad about starting a fight.” I watch as her cheeks turn a rosy pink and she looks away with a smile.

“I could, but we both know you’d see right through me.” Her emerald eyes rise back to mine.

“True.” I admit, taking a deep breath. “Honestly, I’m glad you went. Sofia can be unreasonable, and she doesn’t get the boys… not like you. You make learning fun for them, and you let them be kids. I appreciate that.”

I finally notice the prize she has tucked under her arm.

“I guess the twins aren’t the only ones you let still be a kid.”

“Oh, this old thing?” She pulls the stuffed penguin from under her arm with a smile. “I got this for you.” She take a step towards me and boops me on the nose with it. Eva used to do that… it makes me laugh out loud as I look at it in my hands.

“I’ll think of you every time I see it.” I look back up at her eyes which have grown dark. I feel her gaze in my core. Goddamn it woman.”Seriously, Ana. Thank you.”

“Sam, I wish you could’ve been there. You were the only thing missing from an otherwise perfect day.” She studies my face for a moment before looking back down at the penguin in my hands..

“It would’ve been nice to enjoy the day with the twins… and you.” Like a real family. “Next time. I’lll fake sick. Promise.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that.” Her eyes lock back on me.

I can’t help but stare into her eyes, and I hear her breath catch. The electricity arcing between us. Before I realize it, our bodies are only inches apart.

“Sam…” Ana whispers, her lips parting in anticipation. What are you doing Dalton? Robin’s words echo in my head. You are going to hurt this beautiful woman and its going to be all your fault.

“Dad, how full are we allowed to make our bath?” Mickey calls from the bathroom. A blessing in this moment before I do something else I am not supposed to…

The moment between us broken, Ana’s laugh echos in the room.

“You should probably go.”

I nod, searching her face. I wish I could tell her that we can’t do this… but the words die on my lips. I leave to finish the routine with the boys, her infectious laugh bringing a smile to my lips.

***

I glance at my bedside clock and groan. God, I am so hungry. I get out of bed and pull on my jeans and a plaid button down. I need to find something else to eat.

I pad out into the dark penthouse, flipping the lights on in the kitchen. I take a deep breath before digging into every cupboard, she had to have missed something, right? Nope. She got it all. I sigh before opening the fridge.

“Sam? What are you doing?” I jump slightly at the sound of Ana’s voice before shutting the door and focusing my attention on her.

“Same as you, I’m guessing. Searching for sustenance. Fair warning, it’s every man for himself out here.” I say with a mocking smile.

“Are you threatening to eat me?” She says her eyes growing wide.

I take a moment to appreciate her pajamas, the way her yoga pants hug her curves and the thin sheer fabric of her t shirt exposing her hard nipples.

“I wasn’t thinking about that, but now that you’ve mentioned it…” I see her blush at my words and she gulps, which makes my cock twitch. I know you taste sweet beautiful girl, but I need more tonight. “Seriously, though, you don’t have nearly enough gluten to satisfy me right now.”

I turn my attention back to the kitchen, closing all the cupboards with a sigh.

“Giving up?” Ana leans her hip on the counter.

“Going out. I’m thinking of sneaking off for a burger and fries… maybe a slice of pie… definitely a milk shake.” I look back to her.

“You’ll have to burn any leftovers.” She says with a smile.

“Oh, there won’t be any leftovers. Would you like to come with? The boys are asleep, and I’m sure Carter can hold down the fort while we’re gone. I think we both could use a little something sweet to tide us over…” Plus I wouldn’t mind spending an evening out with you…

She bites her lip and gives me a small nod.

“Let me go change first.” She turns quickly on her heels and leaves the room.

I type out a quick text to Carter and meet Ana in the foyer. We take the quick ride down to the street which is still bustling with people.

“Dare I ask where you’re taking me?” She smiles as I place my hand on the small of her back leading her down the street.

“You can ask… but I won’t tell. It’s a surprise.” I glance sideways at her with a smile.

“I’m not so sure I like surprises.” She says in a defeated tone. If only all surprises were as good as you.

“Really? I’ve recently come to like them.” I wrap my fingers around her waist as we dodge oncoming pedestrians.

“You mean like when Sofia surprised you on your birthday?” She looks up at me.

“God no, I was thinking more about when you suddenly appeared in my life…” I look down at her to see her lips spread wide in a smile. There’s that beautiful smile. “Ah, here we are.” I stop in front of Clements and open the door, ushering Ana inside.

“Ohmygod, is this heaven?” I watch Ana’s eyes flutter closed as she inhales the smells.

Close beautiful, especially being here with you.

The waitress gives us the go ahead to sit wherever we would like and I follow Ana to a corner booth in the back. I slide into the booth and Ana slides in right next to me, settling so our bodies are touching. I hear her sigh and I look down at her, a content look on her face as her eyes wander around the small diner.

“Comfy?” I ask her quietly.

“Very. I could stay like this forever.” She looks back over at me, her emerald eyes shining. Oh beautiful there are a lot of other ways I would rather spend forever with you, like on top of you, or under you.

“Really? There are a few other positions I’d prefer… although all of them do involve having you in my arms.” I remark, a familiar surge of desire shooting through me. ‘

Her eyes darken in response and I see her clench her thighs together, you have the same effect on me.

“What can I get started for you?” The waitress brings me out of my fantasy.

“What are the specials today?” I ask turning my attention to her.

“We���ve got the Sweetheart Special right now. Perfect for a couple like you two, if you’re interested…”

“Us? A couple? You caught us!” Ana says quickly before I have a chance to respond. I look at her out of the corner of my eye and I see her lovely smile. She reaches for my hand and we intertwine our fingers together. “We’re newlyweds, actually.”

I will play this game with you.

“Yeah, I can’t imagine my life without her.” I pull our locked hands onto my lap and flash her a loving smile, your hand feels perfect in mine.

“Makes sense! You have that glow about you.” The waitress looks between us writing something down on her pad. “Consider the Sweetheart Special on the house.”

I order the rest of our meal, and as the waitress leaves, an uncomfortable silence descends on our table. I can feel the nervous energy pouring off of Ana as she avoids my gaze.

“You doing okay over there?” I look over at her, our hands still intertwined on my lap, her gaze focused on the table.

“Totally! I was just thinking about how I’ve never been here before. It’s nice. I cook all he time, but it always tastes better when someone else does it for you. Especially if your cooking is terrible. Which maybe mine is. Ohmygod, I never asked you guys, I just assumed-“ Ana’s cheeks have turned rosy as she answers my question. She’s nervous Dalton, why?

“Whoa, whoa, slow down.” I give her hand a squeeze and I watch her take a deep breath. “It’s just me, Ana. You don’t have to be nervous.”

“Sam, I can’t help it. You’re you, and I’m me!”

“Exactly. We’ve had tons of conversations, just the two of us. Nothing’s changed.” Except everything is different right now, I know…

“This is… well, it’s different. It’s not the same as all the other times we’ve talked before.” Her eyes have grown wide as she finally looks up into mine.

“‘Cause we’re at a diner?” I ask casually.

“‘Cause we’re basically on a date.” She puts emphasis on her last word and her face drops as she looks back at the table. “And you’re still engaged to Sofia.”

She pulls her hand away from mine and places them in her lap. I watch her wring her fingers together for a moment. God, I definitely didn’t mean to make you upset… comfort her asshole. I take a breath and bring my arm around her shoulders, she immediately leans into my touch with a soft sigh. You fit so perfect…

“I’m sorry, Ana. I was being insensitive to your feelings. I didn’t invite you out here to make you feel bad. I just wanted to treat you to a piece of pie, promise.” And I wanted to spend time with you… alone… like a ‘normal’ couple.

“I know, it’s just… it’s all so confusing.” She responds quietly.

I know she was about to say more when the waitress returns to the table, setting down a large strawberry milkshake and two straws. When she leaves my eyes return to Ana’s face, hoping she will elaborate.

“Sam, let’s just enjoy the night. Starting with this milkshake.” She leans away from me, grabbing a straw and taking a sip.

“Are you sure?” I narrow my eyes at her slightly, not convinced she is alright.

“Positive. Dibs on the cherry.” She says with a laugh as she pops the cherry in between her pink lips. God I can think of something else I want to put between those pretty pink lips. The thought makes my cock twitch. The waitress returns with the rest of our meal and I watch the smile spread on Ana’s face. So beautiful…

“I was right, this is heaven.” She surveys the burger and fries.

“Wait ’til you try the pie.”

We eat in a comfortable silence, the nervous energy from earlier suddenly gone.

“Wow, you really don’t know how much you miss sugar until it’s completely eradicated from your diet.” Ana sits back with a sigh.

“In the future, we’ll just have to satisfy our sugar craving in other ways…”

“Oh? Got something particular in mind?” She looks up at me, her emerald eyes darkening.

Oh you know what I mean, beautiful. The waitress shows up with the pie, removing our empty plates and setting it down between Ana and I with a smile. Ana’s eyes never leave mine.

“You’re not getting out of answering that easily.” Her voice laced with desire.

“You already know exactly what I’m thinking, Ana.” I clench my jaw and lower my eyebrows. I watch her breath catch and a blush creep up her neck at the intensity of my gaze. I turn my attention to the cherry pie. I can see Ana’s eyes still trained on me as I take a bite of the pie.

“I want…” Her voice trails off.

“What do you want, Ana? Tell me, and it’s yours.” I look into her eyes.

“I want you to feed me.” She says breathlessly.

“Consider your wish granted.” I take another piece of pie and lift it up to her lips. She opens her mouth and a surge of desire shoots through me.

“Ohmygod…” She moans her eyes fluttering shut. Fuck you are making me hard, and you have the smallest bit of cream on your lip.

“You’ve got a little something on your lip.” I lean towards her, inhaling her scent, and reach my thumb up to wipe the cream from her lip. Before I have a chance to move away her tongue darts out of her mouth and licks my thumb. Fuck. I moan her name as I reach out and place my hand on her cheek. Her eyes flutter shut again, her long eyelashes fanning across her delicate skin. I can imagine you taste so sweet right now… cherries and Ana…

Suddenly my phone buzzes on the table. Ana’s eyes fly open and she leans back in the booth. I grab my phone to silence the incessant noise with a loud sigh.

I clear my throat when I see its my mother calling.

“Hello?”

“Hello Sam darling, your father told me that you have a new nanny for the boys.”

“Oh… yes. I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“Robin told your father that she is quite the young lady and great with the boys.”

“Yeah, she’s great.” My eyes flick to Ana as she stares at me quietly.

“We want to meet her, and of course I want to see my grand children. Why don’t you guys come to the club next week?”

“You want to… Next week? A-alright, Mom. See you then.” Shit… goddamn it Robin.

“Ciao, Sam and say hi to the boys for me.”

I hang up the phone with a sigh. My eyes meet Ana’s.

“What was all that?” She eyes me curiously finishing another bite of pie.

“My parents. They want to meet you.”

I turn my eyes to the people walking by outside the window… fuck.

[fangirlish33-blog]

Loving Blindly

Harry is intrigued by a blind! Y/N who is very passionate about life. 

A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first fic ever. I'm so excited to share it with you and I hope it reaches out. Initially I didn't wanted to write it but I just started and it took me about a week to complete this first part. A massive thank you to @loveandyourstrulyh for the pushing me to write and beta reading this. You have my heart Yev! and secondly, I want to thank @waitingfortwilight who wrote this amazing masterpiece Subtitles  which gave me inspiration. Make sure to read Kates entire masterlist! Taging @isntshelovelyharry because I told her I'll write a fic exactly one month and four days ago and she told me to tag her. 

PART 1: Word Count (2k+)

Los Angeles is no doubt a celebrity’s favorite place apart from New York. Just like that, it was Harry’s favorite for two reasons, one; access to his favorite studios and two, coffee shops. Whenever he would come to L.A for holidays, he would always go to different coffee shops. But today he wanted to go to that one shop where he felt like home. He finished his morning work-out earlier than usual, so he took a shower and decided to jog to his go-to place, ‘Dorothy’s Garden’.

Not only did Harry loved the coffee and those delicious chocolate chip cookies but he also loved the whole setting of this coffee shop. The shop is situated a little out of the main city, blocking it from the usual buzz of people and bumper-to-bumper traffic. The entrance is lined with flowers of different kinds. The path leading to the front, glass door is hidden from the sky by green, giant vines of Virginia creepers.

Harry was introduced to this place by Mitch when they were writing songs. Mitch had spent time in the coffee shop before because the owner of the shop, Dorothy, was his cousin. Harry soon grew fond of this place. It provided him the right amount of focus and calmness to pen his feelings in the form of verses.

Harry pushed the glass door open, the attached bell dinging, announcing the entrance of a customer. Dorothy emerged from the kitchen which was hidden, to attend to her customer, “Ah… I was expect-”, her sentence is cut “Harry!”, she shrieked and hopped a little, like an excited fan, her excitement telling her that she wasn’t expecting him. She wasted no time in opening the small door separating the counter from the shop and pulled him in for a hug. He hugged her back. Her blonde hair is shorter than last time. One thing that is always different in the woman he has arms around. But some things that don’t change is her attire, love for him and the warmth of her hug.  

“Well, g'morning to you too Dotty,” she detached herself from him, looking up at him. “I wasn’t expecting you, like at all,” she waved her hand. “ Yes, I can see that from all the shrieking you did right there,” he mimicked her, “And the fact that you said you were expecting someone, while clearly, it was not me.”

“Oh, that’s Y/N. She’s my new customer. Usually, come around this time. I was preparing her order but, now I guess I had to make another one.”, she smiles at him.

“So, you’re earlier than usual in this visit.”, she says, as she stands with her back to the counter.

“Wow, so now you count how many times I visit, huh?”, he teased her, arms crossing on his chest. “I mean, yeah I do sometimes when I miss you. But, see here’s the thing, last time you visited me with a gap of a month was when you had a break-up with tha’ Kardashian chick.”, she air-quoted.

Harry laughed at her comment. She gestured towards the nearby table and he took a seat. She, on the other hand, took a wiping cloth and initiated mission 'cleaning the tables’, she did double clean always once in the morning after the opening and one after closing. She started from the one Harry was sitting on. There was no one in the shop except him and Dotty, he blamed that on the early time and due to the fact that it was Saturday otherwise, she was always snowed under a lot of work.

“First off, she’s a Jenner.”, he raised his index finger, “and secondly, her name is Kendall.”, he raised his middle finger along with index, “ and thirdly”, he sighed,  “ I don’t wanna say it.”, he spoke slowly, “but you’re right, I had a break-up.”, he pursed his lips together. Dorothy’s eyes widened. “Bad one.”, he added. It’s not like she didn’t try, she tried her damndest, but she gave up, laughing hard.

He rolled his eyes. “Okay stop. Like I’m so upset!”, he exclaimed, slapping his palm on the table lightly. She took deep breaths and at last stopped her high-pitched laugh. She moved across the tables and sat on the chair right beside him. He was pouting slightly. She smiled at him.

“Okay, I was seriously joking.”, she leaned against the back of the chair, “What’s the bird’s name?”, she asked him.

“Camille.”, he sighed heavily, “She was a blonde too.”, he says flatly

“Was she? Never heard of her. Seriously.”, she spotted dirt on her side of the table and wiped it quickly, “ Wait! by stating that she’s blonde you wanna tell me that my theory is correct?”, she asked enthusiastically.

“Well, yeah I guess.”, he says, “I mean, I’m still a good friend with Kendall.”

“And she wasn’t a blonde.”, you point out.

“Exactly. But, Taylor, Cara, and Camille are all blonde and well.”, he sighs, “they all ended up drastically.”

“Well I can’t tell you to stop dating blondes, But really Take. A. Break.. ”, she said, stressing each word. “It’ll be difficult to keep tha’ in your pants.”, Harry looks down at his crotch instinctively, “ I know it’ll be hard. But, you gotta do it.”, she teases him.

“Stop that!”

“You!”, she point at him, Stop whining. It'll be alright don't you worry, okay?, he nods his head. 

“Good! now let’s get to business. Should I bring you your espresso with thick forth and those creepy ingredients you love?”, she scrunches her nose.“ Hey!”, he tries to act offended.

Dotty opens the small door without waiting for an answer because one year of staying with a dork that Harry is, is enough to know a simple answer from him. She enters the kitchen while Harry pulls his phone out of the pocket to see some messages from producers who are working with him on his second album.

***

You are usually accompanied by your friend to Dotty’s but today she didn’t come so you decided to go on your own. Your mother tried to stop you but failed. You knew she cared about you that’s why she didn’t let you go alone. But it wasn’t helping matters. In fact, it was making you more sheepish, whiny and lazy. All the traits you hated.

When you were a child, you hated it. Hated the darkness always surrounding you. It was everywhere. By the time you turned a teenager, you realized it’s not about the light in eyes, it’s about the light inside hearts. All the bullying and teasing for sole reason of lacking a sense. The thing you have no control over, made you stronger. Stronger than other women of your age and now at the age of twenty-three, It doesn’t even matter. You just let the whisper blow in the wind.

You take a hold of the cool, metal handle and push the hard door open. The difference in the air is mesmerizing you. Harry’s attention is diverted when you enter the shop. He is watching you as you take a deep breath. The cane in your hand and the certain way your eyes move showing him that you’re blind.

Usually, Amanda, your friend would make the order and let you sit but today it was different. You come to a halt when your cane is blocked by a hard surface. Taking this as a cue, you call Dorothy in a slow voice. “Is anyone there? Dorothy?”, you ask. When you lack a sense, all the pressure comes to your other senses. You can’t see but, this makes your hearing strong. Stronger than an average person. It’s strange but it also makes you able to feel presence, if someone is staring at you.

“Um… hey, are you Y/N?”, a deep, male voice comes from just a few feet distance startling you a little. You whip your head in the voice’s direction getting the hint that he was probably the one staring at you.

“Yes, I am.”, You’re certain that you’ve never introduces yourself to that voice but, you’re also certain you’ve heard this voice before. The deep, husky voice seeming oddly familiar to you. Like… Like you’ve heard this voice a thousand times before in the form of a record. And it hits you.

“Are you… Harry Styles?”, You asked hesitantly.

Harry lets out a quiet laugh. He can’t believe you recognized him without seeing him, not even once. But, then maybe you can see and the cane was not for you to use.

“Um… yeah I thought you can’t see”, he stops himself and covers his mouth with his hands but the words already tumbled out. He looks at you with wide eyes and quickly tries to compose a response that is more appropriate.

“Shit! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.”, he apologized.

“It’s okay. It happens. But I can hear you, right?”, you put on a smile to let him know that it was okay, that you didn’t mind it, not even the slightest.

He replied with a small, sad “yes”. “Just on time!”, you heard Dorothy’s voice echoing, “How are you?”, she asked before she pulled you in for a hug and then took you to the nearest table. You think it is the table where Harry is sat because you can feel his presence. “I’m fine Dorothy. What about you?”

"Never better. By the way, Where is Amanda? Not in the scene right now.", She asks.

"Oh, she was sleeping. So, I didn't woke her up."

Dorothy looks at Harry, smiling seeing him watch you speak.

She introduces you to Harry and asked if you’ve listened his ‘boring’ album to which he probably reacted in some ‘unnoticeable’ way because you can hear a grunt from him. “His album isn’t boring Dotty. It is one of the best from our type of generation who has no taste in music.”, you praised him and it’s not like you are trying to gain brownie points in front of him or that you’re his fan because you’re none. You’ve never even heard about him but, your friend was his fan. So, when she bought the album and played it, you can’t help but see how genuine his music really was.

“Thanks. It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”, Harry speaks. He extends his hand, a normal habit, he guesses. He waits until Dorothy picks your hand and places it until it is in Harry’s hand. Realization hits him like a truck that you cant see him. He makes a mental note to keep it glued in his mind for future. Although he is pretty much sure there will be no future.

You take his hand shaking it slightly. It felt as if chills ran down your spine. The simple feeling of his soft hands upon yours felt different, so different from the other men you’ve ever touched. It felt right. A small gasp left your lips and despite it being small, Harry notices it and smiles to himself. Not only does he notice the gasp but, he also notices how your cheeks turned rosy pink after just a slight contact. He is shocked by your reaction to him, wondering if it is normal.

Although, his shocking is cut-short with your reply of, “Pleasure is all mine, Mr. Styles.” He suppressed a laugh.

“Oh no, please call me Harry.”, he insists. Harry is sure he has never seen a pair of more beautiful eyes. He loved the way your eyes moved, saddened to realize that they can’t see the world. Saddened that despite being there, they provided you no light.

“I’m sorry for being extra late today in bringing you coffee.”, Dorothy apologized, before handing you a steaming coffee cup.

“No, it’s alright.”, you say and Harry mutters a small thank you, most probably to Dorothy. “Hey Y/N, why don’t you do that feeling thing on Harry you did with me the other day?”, Dorothy shocks you before taking a sip from her cup.

“Um…no, I don’t think so. It’s not necessary, I… I can hear him”, you shift uncomfortably on your seat. You can’t do that on him because he already feels different. You felt different when you touched his hand, you can’t fathom the feeling of touching his face.

“Oh c’mon. It’s okay.”, Dorothy huffs, dragging the ‘okay’ a little longer.

“What ‘feeling thing’?”, Harry asks curiously, his interest is piqued.

“Oh… didn’t I told you before, she touches ones face to feel how they look.”, Dorothy wriggles her eyebrows at Harry. “Really?”, he is pretty much sure he already wants that, “Yeah isn’t it cool. I mean it’s helpful for her.”

You can practically feel the heat radiating off your cheeks. You don’t want to do it but, at the same time, you do. You hesitantly nod your head when she begs you to do it.

You raise your free hands in the air towards him. At first, they just roam in the air but then Harry takes a hold of your wrists and direct them to his own face. You let your fingertips graze his forehead. His skin is soft but clammy due to perspiration. You move your fingers further down his eyebrows, letting them fall on his eyelids as he closes his eyes upon touching, you graze down to his cheekbones but stop when they fall on his upper lip, he instinctively wets his dry lips. The tips of your fingers drag on his lips which are slightly wet. His lower lip, broader than the upper one and soft. So soft. His beath fan across your tips which you gently move down. Ending the journey at his chin, you lift your hands from his face.  

Harry's breathing is erratic and he is trying to control it by taking a deep breath. He is trying his best but, right now he desperately wants to shout or moan or just do something in order to relieve some of his pent-up frustration. He is pretty sure no one has ever touched him so smoothly yet, carefully and it was just that; an innocent touch yet, he felt its effect down to his bones. He can’t help but remember that your fingers had just stopped at his eyes and lips a tad bit longer. His heart is still beating way too fast and he is curious about yours. Curious, whether yours is beating like that too.

A voice of clearing throat pulls him out of his fantasy. He looks around and notices that Dorothy is standing behind the station and his co-worker has now arrived. They are preparing drinks for several people who are sitting on various tables. "Did you say something?", he asks you as there is no one else who will clear their throat to get his attention.

"Yes. What is your eye color Harry?", you were almost afraid to ask but, you did at last. You just wanted to complete the feeling as there was just no image. What is even an image?He didn’t respond when you asked for the first time so, you just cleared your throat.

"Green.", he replies. Green must be a beautiful colour that is why a man whose soft like him got it. You're sure you don't even need eyes to tell that he is in fact handsome. A kind of handsome that people call hot. You nod your head indicating him that you understand, but clearly didn’t. To you green, blue, white, orange all are same. They are all colors. The only difference is the name. But, only for you.

You take the last sip from your cup and place it down. "Are you a student?", he asks timidly.

"No, I'm an ASL teacher at a deaf school.", you tell him. You can call yourself lucky in that sense. When you tell other people who are blind, they are shocked because most of them remained jobless for a long time. Job opportunities are scarce for people like you.   

Harry is sure his eyes will pop out of there sockets. "What?", he is baffled by your response.

" ASL stands for-”

“I know what it stands for. I’m just… shocked.”

“Why is everyone response is surprised when I tell them I'm a sign-language teacher?", you laugh.

"I mean… it is a surprise.", he smooths his hair from his forehead, "Like… you can't see and you teach children who can't hear. It's just…", he sighs. He's clearly shocked to see a woman like you. So powerful and headstrong. He was even more astonished when he hears your response to what he said. How can one do so much for her community and be humble about it? Harry wondered. He took the time to admire your beauty and he only knew you for a short time though it seemed like hours had already passed.  To him, it's endearing and is encouraging him to know you more. More than already. He is pretty sure that he will stick more than one mental note for future reference.

"It's what Harry?", you ask him again.

"It's endearing Y/N. It's bloody amazing."

***

Share with me what you think about Loving Blindly, here!

[concussed-to-pieces]

Need; Part Three

Fandom: WWE

Pairing: Roman Reigns/Female Reader

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Happy Thirst Party Saturday, everyone! Tagging the usual suspects, @tox-moxley, @oraclegazes, and @hardcorewwetrash. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I have screwed with the lunar calendar for this story, forgive me!

!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains semi-public intercourse.

“Does the full moon affect me?” Roman looked at you like you were crazy. “You seriously interrupted my squats for that? Babe…”

“I was just curious if there was anything to it, you know? It all seems kind of…” You paused, wiping the sweat off your forehead. You had just finished your set and the question had struck you. You didn't expect him to actually stop and answer you right away.

“Silly?” he supplied helpfully.

“I didn’t want to say it.”

“It’s okay.” Roman cracked his neck, making a satisfied noise at the dull pop. “It does have an effect on us, just not like...in the movies or anything. It’s hard to explain. You know the way you feel during a good match?”

You nodded, a smile crossing your face. “I’ve had a lot of good matches, Reigns. I would say I might know.”

Roman laughed, catching you in a sweaty hug and making you squeal when he rubbed the stubble on his jaw across your cheek. “You know what I mean though, right? The way your whole body is just…it’s awake and ready and you feel so keyed up you could probably hear grass growing if you listened hard enough.”

“I was with you until that last part, grass?”

“Figure of speech. Full moon is…I mean, it doesn’t make us stronger or force us to turn or anything, but senses heighten. I could pick you out of a massive room full of people, even with my shit sense of smell. And my hearing…sometimes, it gets so ridiculous that I can hear the blood pounding in whoever I’m up against.” Roman shrugged. “Some guys also claim that the full moon brings out the more aggressive, dominant genes. I personally feel like that’s a surrender of control on their part, but that’s just me.”

“The last thing we need around here is you with more dominant tendencies.” You teased, making him roll his eyes.

“Fuck someone into the mattress one time because another guy was threatening to do it better and suddenly everyone’s a critic.” He huffed.

…

Oh no, oh no.

The words looped through your head as you numbly watched Roman getting Powerbombed onto the ring apron. The impact resounded through the arena and Roman crumpled to the ground on his side, laying there for what seemed like an eternity before you finally saw his chest move again. You felt sick to your stomach, fingers twisting the curtain until it was almost ripping in your hands. You wished that it was all a bad dream, that you would wake up safe in bed with Roman snoring quietly beside you, but the scene continued to unfold.

Kevin and Chris finally dragged Roman back into the ring. The large Samoan was clearly out cold on his feet, slumping to his knees the second they let him go. You bit down on your fist, trying to stifle the terrified scream that fought in your throat.

Owens screamed in his face, “Kevin. Owens. Show!”, hauling him upright and flinging him directly into Jericho's Code Breaker. Jericho pinned him and you prayed for Roman to find something, anything still in him that would let him kick out, but that was it. The match was over. Roman had lost his belt and he probably didn't even know it yet. He hadn't moved of his own volition since the Powerbomb and he continued to just lay there in the ring while Chris and Kevin celebrated.

Bayley was suddenly at your elbow, pulling you carefully away from gorilla position. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” She said softly, wrapping you in a hug.

“You see why he is not as good as me, as Rusev?” For some reason the 'Bulgarian Brute' felt that now was the appropriate time to talk to you. You had noticed him hovering all night, but chosen to ignore him in favor of watching your friends further their careers and impress the crowd.

“Go away, Rusev! Before I tell Lana that you were sniffing around where your nose doesn't belong, again!” Bayley said angrily, puffing up in a threatening manner. “Leave my friend alone!”

“All I am saying is that Rusev would not have lost, Rusev would have gotten back up and kept fighting! Two or ten men, it does not matter!” The large man boasted. “Reigns won the belt from me in a fluke accident, and now it is gone once again. He is a weak man, not worth your time. Not like Rusev!”

“Get lost!” Bayley yelled, “Colin! Enzo!”

Clearly your friends had been waiting to come out of the proverbial woodwork. The towering Colin Cassady poked his head (and most of his upper body) out from a nearby dressing room. “Yeah Bayley?” His eyes narrowed upon seeing Rusev, who went pale. “You! Oh buddy, when I get my hands--'Zo! C'mon, we gotta' kick some ass!”

“I bid you farewell, think about what I said!” Rusev finished hurriedly, bolting with Enzo hot on his heels.

“Don't worry, we'll get him. After what you did for Carm...” Cass trailed off, his large hand patting your shoulder in a comforting manner. “Reigns is a tough bastard. He'll be okay. An' you will too.”

“He'll be okay.” Bayley echoed after Cass left, letting you collect yourself.

You finally stepped back, wiping your eyes. “He tried so hard, Bayley. I-I hope he's alright.” You floundered with your words for a minute while she stood there. “I know the belt is really important to him, and I'm sure he thinks it's important t-to me, but I just hope he's safe.” You admitted, tearing up again. “I really, really just want him to be okay.”

“I know, sweetheart.” Her tone was kind, the hand on your shoulder an anchor as Roman lurched through the curtain with the assistance of two ring medics.

“Ro-!” You began, but quickly shut your mouth when you saw his face. He was obviously still out of it, eyes half-closed and dazed while his legs seemed to be barely cooperating, one foot sluggishly in front of the other.

…

God it hurt, why did it always have to hurt. His spine ached. His ribs ached. His legs, his back, his neck, everything was sore and awful. He never should have agreed to this match, he realized belatedly as he laid next to the ring in an undignified heap. Air finally returned to his lungs after what felt like a century. His consciousness kept fading in and out, little bits and pieces making their way to his rattled brain. The Powerbomb. The Code Breaker.

A body’s worth of weight on his ribs, his leg getting pulled up and there was nothing he could do. Roman just slid down, down down into the warm darkness of a faint. Your voice urged him back momentarily, long enough for him to know that he was upright, moving. Not in the ring, which was a relief. But unless he'd somehow fallen on top of Jericho, he was pretty sure he wasn't the United States Champion anymore.

The realization made him want to give up. Why couldn't they just let him lay down and sleep. His back hurt, he could barely keep his legs moving and he kept drifting between awake and dead on his feet. What the fuck had happened, why did he hurt so much. Powerbomb. Code Breaker. The cage. Strowman.

“I really, really just want him to be okay...”

...

Roman was silent for most of the car ride to the hotel, nervously fidgeting in his seat. Whenever you glanced over at him in the dark, he huddled a bit more into himself. Your heart broke at the sight of your boyfriend and mate so thoroughly dejected, and you put a hand on his leg.

“I'm sorry.” He said quietly, covering your hand with his own. “I fucked up. I…I worked so hard for that belt. And it’s gone now. What the hell is my family going to think? My dad? You?” He shook his head, seeming disgusted. “Why is this so fucking difficult?”

“Because you’re not a superhero, Roman. Everyone has a tough time when there are people ganging up on them.” You pointed out. “I know losing is hard, I’m practically the world’s sorest loser.”

“’Practically’? I seem to recall beating you at Uno once.”

“Okay alright, I’m definitely the world’s sorest loser. That’s not the point, though! The point is, you’re going to lose sometimes. You might lose a lot. Especially if they throw two or three people at you and stack the deck against you. But you’re safe, and as far as I’m concerned that’s not a loss.” You watched him out of the corner of your eye, seeing his shoulders relax.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right there.” He admitted. “It just...I don’t know. It makes me feel like a bad pack leader if I lose.” Roman carried on, his voice soft. “I’m hardwired to provide and…and defend territory and stuff. Since I was very young, that’s how I was taught. I have to be strong all the time, smart, careful. Brave but not brazen, that kind of thing.” He squeezed your hand. “Keep my emotions under control and let myself off the leash only when absolutely necessary. Because I’m…dangerous when I get upset.” He sounded pained. “Rollins said once I was like a volcano. He wasn’t too far off.”

“Well, I don’t really care what Rollins says.” You said with a shrug, making Roman chuckle dryly. “I care that you’re battered and you could probably use a little cheer-up tonight. Just a suggestion.”

An hour later a well-fed and sleepy-looking Roman propped himself up against the bathroom sink, yawning every two minutes as you filled the tub. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, babe.” He mumbled. “I know I’ve got a lot of hair to deal with.”

“Shush, I want to. Now get your ass in the tub.” You insisted, holding back a laugh as the man rubbed his eyes like he was an exhausted child. “You just sit in here and soak, I’ll be back in five or so minutes when you’re ready.” He gave you a thumbs up and an attempt at a smile as you left to go get his hair care kit out of his duffel.

When you returned Roman had laid back, his eyes closed and one arm draped over the side of the tub. He idly scratched his chest piece, the black ink crisp and bold under the water. You tiptoed to the sink, unzipping the bag and carefully tugging out the shampoo and conditioner before kneeling beside the tub and tapping his shoulder. Roman rolled his head to look up at you, blinking slowly.

“Hey, I'm just going to start, alright?” You said softly, waiting until he actually nodded before starting to lather his hair with slow, gentle motions on his scalp. Roman moaned after a minute and you paused, worriedly asking if you hurt him.

“Mmno, you're gonna' give me a boner if you keep that up though.” he slurred, shifting his weight forward so you had more access. “Like it when you play with my hair.”

“Really?” You thought back, recalling with new clarity how much louder he got when you pulled his hair while the two of you had sex, or the way he would make that deep rumbling sound in his chest when you absently toyed with his locks on long car rides. You felt yourself flush. “Huh.”

“Don't stop. Like it.” Roman insisted, humming when you began working the shampoo through his hair again. You swept his hair to either side of his neck and caught sight of the bruises on his back from the ring apron. You bit your lip, fingers stilling. Your lighthearted mood and whatever arousal you had been feeling died in the pit of your stomach. Roman flinched when you touched one of the bruises. “M' sorry. Should have been stronger.” All the humor was gone from his voice. “I scared you.”

“Yeah.” You replied softly, twisting his hair around your hands and finger-combing through it to get out the larger snags. “It’s alright though. I’m sure I’ve scared you on more than one occasion.” Roman nodded silently, staring at his knees. You tipped his head back so you could kiss his forehead and rinse his hair. He looked like he was thinking hard. Maybe too hard. “What’s going on up there? Talk to me.”

He just grunted, resting his hand on your thigh and closing his eyes. You kept your frustrated huff to yourself, knowing it wouldn’t do you any good to get upset. He would tell you. It might take a while, but he had been getting much better at telling you about what was wrong in a timely manner. You had faith in him.

“I’m worried.” Roman said finally. “I…I’ll do my turn later tonight. I’m scared about where I hit the ring apron. Hopefully it’s nothing serious and I’ll be back to fighting shape. I just don’t want you to think I’m turning because I don’t want to talk to you, o-or I’m trying to get out of driving or something. I promise I’ll take another driving shift. I just-”

You interrupted him by starting to work the conditioner through his thick mane. “It’s alright.” You said gently. “You do what you need to do.”

Roman groaned softly, resting his forehead against the side of the tub and shivering when you dragged your fingers down his back. “Babe…” He arched his back helplessly to your touch, strong body pliant under your hands as you took care of him. “You’re so good to me.” He sounded dazed, almost like he couldn’t believe it.

You made soft reassuring noises in your throat and carried on washing his hair, a little surprised when a large hand caught the back of your neck and pulled you down to bump your forehead against his own. Roman looked weary, bruising under his eyes standing out starkly. His pupils were dilated already, threatening to engulf the gray of his irises. “You’re going to be alright.” You whispered, swallowing hard as his eyes closed like that had been what he was waiting for.

You took longer than you needed to brushing his hair once he had dried himself off, being extra careful not to pull as you untangled the black locks. Roman seemed to have slipped into an in-between headspace, not speaking anymore and just making sounds in his chest. The whole time you combed his hair out in sections you kept talking, letting him know that you were there as you worked.

He licked your hand when you were finally finished, nipping at your index finger. “Thank you.” His voice was guttural, words slow and sounded out carefully through sharp teeth. You kissed his jaw and the underside of his chin, and one of his hands wound through your hair to hold you closer. “Mate.” Roman sighed, seeming in a better state of mind already as he buried his nose in the nape of your neck.

“You’re going to be alright.” You said again, feeling him nod against you.

“Yeah.”

The next day was a bit more gentle. You woke up to Roman curled up nose-to-tail at the foot of your bed, and you watched him sleep for a little while. His dark fur shone almost blue-black in the early morning sunlight, and the easy rise and fall of his side soothed you immensely. As if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t been walking wounded the night before.

Pointed ears perked up as he seemed to come out of his dreams, a wide yawn displaying a mouth full of sharp teeth. “Morning, Ro.” You said quietly, pressing a good-morning kiss to one of his ears. He sleepily lapped across your cheek, tongue lolling out while you giggled.

…

The weeks leading up to the Royal Rumble were always a fiasco. The beginning of the Road To Wrestlemania, a time for the pomp and circumstance of wrestling to start building.  Things were understandably tense as the day drew closer, Roman left on the ground among the remains of a shattered announce table after Raw went off the air two weeks before the Rumble.

The aforementioned 'volcanic anger' seemed to bubble higher with each unfair encounter Roman had with the dual champions, and it nearly came to blows with Jericho backstage after the blond man dangled the US title in his face and jeered at you. That had been terrifying, Roman all but snapping and snarling at Jericho to get him to back away. Roman's grip had tightened on your side and you in turn clung to him, running your hand over the plating on the back of his vest.

Save it for the Rumble. Save it for the Rumble. You started talking with him every evening, decompressing the large man as best as you could. Roman was at least honest with you this time around, freely admitting that he was scared to death that Jericho would figure out a way to interfere no matter what or that Owens and Chris might try to go after you. You kept what had happened between you and Rusev to yourself, not wanting to make Roman worry.

“I can’t lose you. And if they hurt you…”

“I won’t let them. I’m not scared of them.”

“If something happens to you I won’t forgive myself.”

“Nothing will happen to me.”

Roman took to sleeping wrapped around you, his body warm and solid against your own. He was oddly affectionate, even for him, tender with you and soaking up every drop of attention you gave him like it was a precious commodity.

You understood though, and you went above and beyond to make sure that he felt just as loved and cared for as you did. Whether that meant slowly washing his hair or him ‘helping’ you take off your wrestling gear, neither of you were denying each other much these days.

Your back met the wall, his hips rolling against your own in a needy cadence that had you panting for breath. Roman had a way of making you feel incredible, even after you had just finished a bout with Alicia and were covered in sweat and bruises. He buried his face in the hollow of your neck, startling a pleased sound out of you when he sucked a hickey to life. “Mine, mine.” He said softly. “Gonna' make you proud, take care of you. I promise.”

You shook your head at yourself even as you blushed. It wouldn’t do you any good to get distracted. You didn’t have a match on this 'final' Raw before the Rumble. The powers that be had intended for you to cut a promo so you'd dressed to kill accordingly, but then at the last minute the idea had been scrapped for time. Something about Rollins and Zayn. You wished you'd thought to bring other clothes as you tugged self-consciously at the skirt of the form-fitting dress. Thankfully you'd at least brought your sneakers, changing back out of your heels the first chance you got.

All you could do was endure the waiting game in the back, stunned when Roman's quick wits and Kevin's loud mouth garnered him a rematch against Chris Jericho for the United States strap, tonight. “I can't believe he agreed to that!” You exploded when Roman traipsed back through the curtain, a huge grin on his face.

“Neither can I, holy shit. Help me get suited up babe, I've got an old ass to kick.” His spirits seemed to be through the roof as he quickly whipped off his shirt and pulled his vest on over his undershirt, fingers flying over the side zip and straps. He slowed to a stop as he actually looked at you, though. “Also, I don't think I've ever seen that dress before. New?” He sniffed. “Not new.”

“Nope, sorry. It's been sitting in my closet for months. I was supposed to do a promo.” You fumbled with the skirt of it again. “They wanted me dressed…I think the word they used was ‘fierce’.”

“I like it.” Roman said softly, and from the tone of his voice you could tell that he didn't just like it. “Looks good. You’re not comfortable in it though.”

“Well yeah, but that kind of goes hand in hand with looking good. The more uncomfortable I am, the nicer I look.” You joked.

Roman straightened up, shaking his hair back over his shoulders before cupping your cheek gently and pressing his forehead to yours. “I appreciate the effort you put in, even if all I want to do is tear your panties off and have you sit on my cock.” His voice was a low purr. “The dress is optional.”

“Roman!” You hissed, surprised at his sudden boldness. The two of you were in the hallway for fuck’s sake!

He grinned down at you again, giving you a wink and a peck on the cheek. “Full moon, babe. I'm only eye-fucking you and I can hear your heart doing double time.”

“You're ridiculous.”

“Mark me, for luck?” Roman asked hopefully, tugging the strap of his vest to the side. Suddenly Rusev and a still-squawking Lana went rushing by, a referee in tow. It looked like Rusev's nose had been broken, but even as you noticed that, Roman was busy pushing Lana's hand off his shoulder. “Woman, you are trying my damn patience.” He grunted, “Take care of your husband, obviously he could use some looking after.”

“How dare you, I am a man, not like you! You puny, Pensacola--��� Rusev fumbled for a minute or two, obviously trying to come up with another word that started with 'p' while the poor referee looked back and forth, utterly confused. “-pest!”

“Rusev you are embarrassing me!” Lana wailed, clinging to Roman's arm.

Roman shook her off again, looking less entertained this time. “Don't touch me. C'mon babe, this place is a little too loud for my taste.” His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you close. “Good luck with the nose, man. One too many Accolades?” Roman asked with a smirk, making Rusev snarl.

“I will crush you again, Reigns! And then I will take your friend.” The Bulgarian threatened, cupping his nose.

Roman's smirk vanished, gray eyes narrowing. “Shouldn't talk like that in front of your wife. Or my mate.” You started running your hand up and down the plates on the spine of his vest, nuzzling into his side. His shoulders relaxed even though the rest of his body stayed alert, ready. “Sorry to chat and run, but I've got some business to take care of. I'm sure you understand.” With that Roman easily hoisted you over his shoulder and headed down the hall, ignoring your yelp of surprise.

You couldn't resist giving Lana a smug wave as you left, jolting and flushing bright red when Roman patted your ass.

“Now, I believe you were giving me my mate mark.” Roman said, placing you on your feet beside the curtain at gorilla position and scooting his shoulder strap to the side again. You lunged in to kiss him, flinging your arms around his neck as he made a confused sound in his throat. “Oh.” He murmured, kissing you back and smoothing his hands over your hips. “Jealous?”

“You are mine.” You replied firmly, biting down hard on his bared skin. Roman whimpered, nodding and burying his face in your hair. His hips rocked against your own, making you wish he didn't have to go. “You do good. Come back to me safe, got it?” You ordered breathlessly.

“Yes, my mate. I'll make you proud. I promise.” he panted.

Kevin was on commentary and you thanked God that you couldn't hear it as Jericho and Roman met in the ring. Flurries of blows landed between the two men, a dizzying back and forth that left you worried. Full moon or not, Roman wasn't invincible and you hoped with all your heart that tonight would be different.

Jericho went for the Code Breaker and you cheered softly when Roman caught him, crossing your fingers and then exhaling hard in disappointment when Chris kicked out of the Powerbomb. Kevin apparently had enough of watching his friend get his ass handed to him, the larger man scrambling into the ring and attacking Roman viciously.

“Oh no, no no no.” You pressed your hands over your mouth. Please not again, don't let this happen, fight Roman!

The shark cage lowered to the ring as Chris and Kevin ganged up on Roman for the third week in a row. If you never had to see that stupid cage again, it would be too damn soon. “You can watch him all you want. I know my wife does.” Your fists clenched. Rusev leaned against the wall across from the gorilla position. He certainly didn't look the part of 'Handsome Rusev', tape and bloodied gauze wrapped around his nose. “He can move, I will give him that. He is strong, and he's stubborn. But Rusev is stronger. Why don't you just accept it? It will make things easier on you in the long run.” The Bulgarian pointed out, smirking at you.

“He's my mate. I believe in him. More importantly, I trust him. And he trusts me.” You said, raising your voice to be heard over the crowd. “I know that you said some things about me when you and Roman fought. Implied some things. I would really appreciate it if you could leave me-”

Rusev had gone red in the face, and much quicker than you expected he had you trapped against the wall. “Your big friend and his little partner are nowhere near, do you really think anyone would notice if you disappeared?” he snarled as indistinct bass pounded overhead. You knew the match had been thrown out since Kevin had interfered, so you had no idea whose music was playing.

“If your nose isn't already broken, I'll shatter it to powder.” You shot back, “Get the hell away from me before I get rude!”

“You will respect me!” Rusev said angrily, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you violently. You brought your fists up to slug him as he jerked you around, then the curtain parted and Roman stepped through. The excited grin he had been wearing dropped off his face, replaced by a look of panicked fury. You swallowed hard.

“Rusev!” Roman roared, making the Bulgarian flinch and hastily back away from you. “Don't touch them, you get the hell away from my mate before I make you regret waking up this morning!”

“I was only-” Rusev began to protest.

“I'd run.” You said, sighing in relief when he clearly thought better of his choice to bother you and fled. Roman dragged you back against him, a firm arm wrapped around your waist. Your back pressed to the hard plating on the front of his vest. “Roman?” You asked cautiously.

“Are you alright? He didn't hurt you, did he? I'm sorry I was late, so sorry.” He apologized, sighing in relief when you shook your head no. The deep, husky timbre of his voice sent shivers down your spine. “Waited. I waited. Was strong for you. Will you have me now?” He rutted up into the small of your back, the buckle of his ring gear digging into you. “Will you have me now, my mate?” He spoke in short bursts, his breath hot on your neck before he nuzzled your nape. “Was good, fought for you. Please.”

“Here, though? I mean-” You twiddled your fingers. Not that the thought didn't have appeal but you got the feeling that a few people might be put off by you getting slammed against a wall and 'mated' until your legs gave out.

“Won’t make you. Can’t make you. I just need. Won’t make you.” Roman’s tone was half-pleading, half-resigned. “Can take care of myself if you don’t want to.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, Jesus Christ. C’mon. Let’s get to the car quick.” You suggested, grabbing his hand. “Get to the car, get to the hotel, we’ll shower together-” The ensuing rumble of approval that cut you off made you laugh. “I won’t leave you out in the cold. You did so good tonight, talk about above and beyond. Thank you for scaring him off.”

“You're my mate. Have to keep you safe.” He said, not without difficulty. Then, “You smell really good.” He slowed you to a stop and buried his face in your hair, pinning you to the wall with his large hips. “So good, so fucking good.” The words were mumbled against your skin, making you shiver and arch as Roman’s hips slotted over yours, back and forth in a smooth rocking motion.

You realized he probably wasn’t going to make it to the hotel, the feel of him moving against you while desperately trying to keep himself under control making you bite your lip hard and try to think of someplace where the two of you could have some privacy. “Roman…the car?” You suggested softly, your legs going wobbly at the way he tried to stifle his moan by nipping and licking your exposed shoulder. “Have to get to the car, Roman.”

“Mm’n, alright, I’m…I’m goin’.” He managed to get out before hoisting you up to sit on his hips. You squeaked, clinging to his shoulders as he released his grip for a second to pull open the door to the parking garage. “M’ goin’, been good tonight, yeah?” Roman panted out. “Made you proud? Good mate, right?”

You dug your fingers into his hair, stroking through it and making his steps falter. “Good mate, best mate.” You praised, kissing his forehead. “You did so good, Ro.” You loved the way his whole body shuddered and he held you even tighter.

“Here, right here.” He said finally, setting you on your feet for a second and undoing his vest. He yanked off his undershirt and then spread it on the hood of the car. “Right here. Now.” Roman breathed, knocking his forehead against your own. “You smell like good like yes like mate like mine like home, please please here now please.” He begged, “I was so worried, thought something had happened to you, thought he was going to hurt you. I n-need--”

You smiled, kissing him and making him groan into your mouth. “Please, I’ve been waiting for you.” You said, pressing your hand to the ink on his chest. His heart was slamming wildly. “Please.”

Roman’s eyes, which had been looking frantic, calmed somewhat at your touch. “Oh God, I was so scared when I saw him. I-” He made a whining sound in his throat and fingers tugged your skirt up, fumbling to find your panties and get them off. “Yes, yes yes yes.” He groaned as you turned around without him asking, and he flipped your skirt over your hips. Normally you would have tried to wait until you got to the hotel elevator at least, but something about this urgent, needy Roman had your body soaked, thighs rubbing together to try and relieve some of the ache he had made earlier.

Fuck waiting.

Roman kicked your legs apart, mouthing over your shoulder blade as he tore at the buckle on his belt. “Oh babe, I hope you’re ready. Jesus Christ do I hope you’re ready.” The following breathless growl made your knees weak. “Gonna’ mate you, mate my mate.”

Anticipation built like a bonfire in your stomach as he pressed your chest down onto the hood of the car and teased at your dripping pussy with his cock. You scrambled to grab his undershirt and fold it to pad your hips. As eager as you were, a matching set of unintended bruises on your pelvis did not appeal to you in the slightest.

“Promise I’ll be careful.” Roman said softly. “Can’t hurt you. Never.” His hand slipped beneath your cheek, protecting your face from the hood of the rental as he finally penetrated you. Your fingers dug into the hard surface beneath you and you bit down on Roman’s hand to muffle your cry of delight. You might as well have made the noise, because you biting him made Roman groan loud enough to make the parking garage echo.

He bent over you, covering your body with his own and pressing feverish kisses to the side of your neck as his hips crushed up against you. He was power, raw and untamed, growling animalistic nonsense in your ear. “Smell good are good, so good, make me feel good, make me feel amazing, my mate my mate, all mine, all mine--”

You begged for him in turn, “Please, please, I waited all night for this, oh God Roman please-!” He felt so good inside you, filling you deep and fucking you just like you needed. The stress of watching him get beaten down every week started easing out of your body and you kissed his hand, making Roman croon wordlessly.

His fingers dove beneath the front of your dress, into the cups of your bra to play with your breasts. You whimpered and Roman snarled against your shoulder, “O-oh, so good to me, so sweet to me. Love your tits, babe, love them so much. They’re just right, and I know you love it when I give them some attention. My mate, my babe, beautiful strong mate.”

You rocked back onto his cock with a desperate noise, hands fisted on the car hood. You could have sworn you heard a gasp but you figured it must be Roman.

Roman growled suddenly, much louder than before, fixing the front of your dress and then wrapping his right arm loosely around your neck. He hauled you upright against his body, hips pistoning furiously as he rested his chin on your shoulder and snarled, “No one else fucks you like this, no one else touches you like I do, no one else gets this pussy, these tits, this beautiful fucking body.” The words were molten, burning with promise. His hand cupped your jaw, keeping your barely-open eyes on him. “You are mine and as long as you want me, no one will ever take you away from me.”

You whimpered and wrapped your arm around his neck, clinging to him as he held your hips tight to his own and fucked up into you. “Roman-!” you sobbed helplessly, your orgasm making you arch and roll of your own accord.

Roman moaned, kissing you hard and shuddering before whispering, “open your eyes babe.” You obeyed and immediately felt a crimson flush stain your face.

Lana and Rusev were two cars down from you and Roman, both of them staring wide-eyed. A tiny part of you debated telling Roman to stop, but the way that Lana had hung onto Roman's arm earlier in the night...and Rusev...

You sucked in a breath to speak and then whined when Roman rocked you forward with a particularly deep thrust. You could feel his smirk against your shoulder. “No one. Fucks. This pussy. Like I do.” Every sentence was punctuated by a bottomed-out cock that made your eyes threaten to roll back in your head. “It’s mine, all mine, and this cock and body are all fucking yours, babe. I promise.” He whispered in your ear. “For as long as you want me, for forever.”

You felt hot all over as you wondered how much Lana and Rusev could actually see, since Roman had fixed your dress before pulling you up. It was so filthy, so undeniably naughty, but you found yourself moaning louder and practically writhing against Roman, putting on a show that made your boyfriend groan and move faster. Lana radiated jealousy while Rusev continued to stare, transfixed.

“Mine!” Roman barked sharply, making Rusev jump. “Understand? Mine!” Roman seemed to lose control as a possessive snarl rumbled in his chest. One hand groped your breasts while the other dug into your dress, cupping your quaking cunt through the fabric. “These are mine, this is mine, I have mounted them and they are mine!” Roman grabbed your hips as you braced yourself against the car, fucking back onto his cock. “And this--” He gestured proudly down at his dick, words all but bitten out through gritted teeth. “-belongs to my mate, and my mate only. Got it?”

“Ro-” You whimpered. The dominant aura that issued from him made you want to go to pieces, your insides slick with longing even though you'd already come once. He crooned softly to you, like an assurance that his fierce words were only meant for Lana and Rusev. The Ravishing Russian stomped her foot angrily after a moment or two, dragging Rusev into their car. Her muffled yelling quickly faded to background noise as Roman sighed and kissed the back of your neck.

“Babe, babe,” he murmured, “I'm so close, where do you want it?”

“Anywhere, anywhere, I just need--” You pleaded, moaning when Roman pulled up the skirt of your dress and started playing with your clit. “Please, alpha, please!”

You felt his smile against your shoulder blade. “Damn right, babe. Come for your alpha.” Roman commanded, groaning as you cried out and spasmed around him. “That's right, oh God yeah, come for me. Come all over that dick, soak me with that sweet little pussy I love so much.” His cock pounded into you again and again, prolonging your orgasm before Roman finally shuddered all over and quickly pulled out. His release coated the inside of your thigh, starting the slow drip down your leg. “Shit, hang on.” He rasped, yanking on his undershirt and catching the dribble before it could go any further. “Sorry. Figured you didn't want it on this dress.” He ran a hand over the small of your back.

“Oh God.” You panted, pressing your hot cheek to the cool car hood as you struggled to regain your breath. “G-God.”

...

“My poor mate, what the hell did I do to you?” Roman asked softly, his hand stroking down the length of your back. He was legitimately concerned. Demanding so much of you in one night had been greedy of him. After seeing Rusev shaking you back and forth though, every awful feeling that Roman had been fighting these past few weeks just...exploded. He had needed to assure you--no, he'd needed to assure himself that you were alright and safe, but he had to make sure that you felt loved and cherished in one of the only ways he could.

You finally propped yourself up on shaking arms, arching your body back and demanding a kiss by wrapping your arm around his neck again. You smelled like satisfied and that in and of itself made Roman immensely happy. He crooned again, quieter, the mark you'd left on his shoulder pulling at his skin as he held you tightly and kissed your jaw, your throat. “My mate...how do you feel?”

“I could live with a little more of that.” You teased, your smile looking ridiculously smug. “Yeah, I'm the jealous one, Ro?”

Roman blushed, recalling the frenzied tumble of half-words out of his mouth when he'd realized Rusev and Lana had spotted the two of you. “I don't want him to try anything ever again.”

“I understand.” You murmured, tugging his hair away from his face. Roman went with the motion, the content rumble that he'd been finding himself making more and more often filling the silence between you. “You're mine. I'm yours. Nothing will change that.” You promised softly. “Nothing.”

Roman nodded, not trusting himself to speak as you mouthed sleepily over his jaw. You were so undeniably good to him, sometimes it made him weak in the knees, made him all emotional.

“Let's go home, okay? You're driving.” You said finally, making Roman laugh.

“That's more than fair. Plus, you definitely said something about showering together. I dunno' about you, but I think I worked up a sweat.” Roman felt his chest tighten when you shoved him and started giggling, and he quickly focused on doing up his pants before he could do something dumb like fucking cry or something. “Let's go, babe.”

You draped your arms over his shoulders, stilling him as you wound your hips against his own in a slow, clockwise motion. Roman sucked in a startled breath, hearing your pulse start to hammer again. “Let's go home.” You murmured, snuggling into his chest.

My beautiful strong mate.

Roman swallowed hard, cupping the back of your head and struggling to keep his voice steady. “Yeah.”

Part Four

[hantheheart]

So... I had a pretty rough few days a few weeks ago and decided to write something a bit dark to help me out.

Problem is, I kept writing it, so now I’ve got 10+ pages on google docs.

So, being me, I figured I’d share at least the first few pages with the internet.

So, fore warning: There is attempted suicide, though I avoided using the word. The parts I’ve written so far take place on the top of a building several stories tall, and one character makes several vague references to emotional abuse/neglect. I’ll make sure to tag these things below, but I add this in case someone reblogs this and can’t/didn’t tag it appropriately.

---Part 1---

It’s so far down.

That’s what I’m looking for, right?

It’s cold up here.

Thoughts swirls in my head as I stand on the edge of the rooftop. I feel dizzy with the paradoxical thoughts that spin round and round.

Jump, there’s no reason left.

Don’t jump, there’s still time.

Jump, it hurts too much to go on.

Don’t jump, you can’t leave them behind.

Jump, they won’t care anyways.

Don’t jump, you don’t know what’ll happen next.

Part of me is relieved to step back off the ledge and walk around the rooftop.

I’ve come up here every few days since moving out to Amity park from my home town. Partly to escape my crushing life of mediocrity and loneliness, partly to go someplace new for a fresh start. So far though, it hasn’t stopped these… horrid thoughts.

I hate them.

I hate me.

After a few times circling the roof, I step back up on the ledge. Staring down at the street below, I feel my heart thumping against my chest.

Is this rooftop high enough? Would this even work?

My phone is out in an instant.

“How high do you have to fall to die?” Scanning the google page that answers, I see what I need. 4 to 5 stories at least, 8 or more at best.

Glancing down, I recall that this building is about 5 or 6 stories high, from the numbers I passed climbing the stairs.

Well, that’s… settled.

My feet move on their own, inching me closer to the edge.

“Hey!”

The most embarrassingly loud and horrid squawk escapes me as I tumble backwards, terrified by the sudden voice.

While attempting to get my bearings, the unmistakable tap tap of shoes hitting the pavement echoes around me. A glance up and I’m frozen in shock.

I’d never believed the “Oooh~! Spooky! A ghost kid!” stories that ran wild through the minds of the townspeople, saying this kid, flew around and saved the town and such.

‘Course, pictures and words are nothing like seeing the real thing.

He looks kinda worried, mostly confused. His eyes are quite literally glowing, which is unnerving enough for me. It’s a bit weird to see someone obviously younger than me have gray -white?- hair, and don’t even get me started on that ridiculous outfit.

“The heck were you doing up there?” He asks, waving one hand towards the ledge.

Is he wearing a glove?

“Uhm.” I swallow back some of the sickened feeling and stand up. “Just… nothin’.”

His eyes narrow and he frowns. “Didn’t look like “nothin’” to me.”

I glare back at him and huff. “What’s it matter to you anyways? Not like anyone else cares.”

I step back up to the ledge and look down, then over at him. He’s tensed up, holding his breath.

“...Would you catch me? If I jumped?”

“Well, yeah!” He’s so distraught, I almost want to laugh. Here’s this kid, supposedly a superhero, trying to talk down a girl he’s never met before from making the biggest and last mistake ever… and now the gravity is hitting again, fuck.

My legs start shaking so bad I think I’m gonna fall. Instead, I step back off, hugging my chest tight and breathing heavily. Holy shit, I could’ve…

I don’t even register that he’s still there until his hand is on my shoulder. He’s freaking out, talking, but I can’t hear a word he’s saying.

Next thing I know, I’m sitting on the ground, shaking and trying to breathe while he’s sitting beside me, still talking.

“-’ll be okay, you’re gonna be fine.” His words finally start making sense and I realize I’ve been crying.

Why does this keep happening?

I rub furiously at my face with the heels of my palms, trying to erase the red streaks that my tears left behind.

He’s quiet for a moment, thankfully, as I try to regain my nerve. I mumble out an apology, sniffling and hoping it was actually English.

“It’s... it’s fine.” He sounds sad, but there’s a definite tone of relief to his voice. “What the heck are you even doing up here? Uh- if you don’t mind me asking?”

Good God, this is an actual child.

“It’s… I don’t... fit in… anywhere. And I feel really shitty and there’s these things in my head that always say I should just..” I gesture weakly towards the ledge. “That everyone’d be better off without me and I… sometimes it’s too much and I believe them and I’m just so scared to do it… I was really close this time too.” My words are breathless and almost wheezy. It hurts to admit these things out loud, to a stranger no less, but it’s relieving too.

He doesn’t say anything, so I keep my mouth shut.

The silence is crushing.

After a few minutes, I can’t let it be.

“Did… did it hurt?”

“What?” He blinks a few times, as if remembering I’m still here.

“When you… died?”

He looks down, and I feel awful for asking, until I realize he looks less upset, and more like he’s trying to remember.

“Well… yeah, being electrocuted hurts. A lot.”

“Did you… do it on purpose?”

“What? No, it… it was an accident.”

Oh my god, this poor kid. He’s no older than I am, maybe around my little sister’s age, and the poor kid died in an accident?!

“I’m sorry.” I sigh. “It’s probably pretty shitty of me then, trying to end my life and yours got cut short. God, you’re probably younger than me too.” I cover my mouth with one hand and laugh humorlessly. “Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m being an ass by trying to kill myself, holy shit, this is fucked up, what the shit.”

“Okay, hang on, don’t go freaking out on me again!” He grabs my arm. “It’s-you’re fine, it’s-it’s not offending or anything, seriously. Just.. just don’t freak out.”

I take a few deep breaths, digging my fingernails into my arm to keep myself grounded. “I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just, I can’t help it sometimes.” I whimper, covering my eyes and trying to wipe away the tears dripping down my face. My voice cracks so much it hurts. “I feel shitty and just… over-react. It’s stupid and awful of me, but I’m just a fucking mess of a human being, and I shouldn’t-”

“Nonono, just, just stop.” His hands tugged at my shirt, and I felt a shiver run through him. “That’s… that’s not true, not of anyone. I can’t believe that, so just… just stop, okay?”

Sniffling, I nod. “‘M sorry.”

“Uh, so... How… how ‘bout this instead? I’ll stay up here with you till I have to go, and if you still wanna jump, I… I won’t bother you about it.”

Well damn.

“Hope you don’t have to leave soon then.” I mumble, hugging my knees to my chest.

“Well… whaddya know about space?”

“It’s… big?”

He frowns for a moment, thoughtful, then shrugs, nodding. “Alright, I’ll give you that one. But like, what do you know about space and stars and all the cosmos and stuff?”

“Not much, why?”

He grins and the excitement in his face is contagious. “Cause I know a lot!”

“How much is a lot?”

---...---

Turns out he really meant “A lot”.

The kid knows stuff about space I thought was just science fiction or something.

He wanted to be an astronaut. Been through all sorts of simulators, signed up for space camp and everything. Big dreams of going to space someday, even owned a bunch of books on everything astrology, the cosmos and stuff I still can’t get my head around.

“Ya know, you could still technically go to space.” I say, staring up at the sky, folding my hands behind my head.

“How? Don’t think they enlist dead kids in NASA.” He’s sitting up, leaning back on his arms. The moonlight makes his hair glow almost as ethereal as his eyes.

“You can turn invisible and stuff, right? You could fly down to Florida, turn invisible and sneak aboard the next space ship to head out there. First ghost in spaaaaace.” I hold both hands up and shake them dramatically.

He snickers, grinning. “That’s not a bad idea.”

“Hell man, I’ll drive you down there myself if you want. But’cha gotta get gas money.” Of course, I’m joking about the gas money, but I have always wanted to go down to Florida, especially if there’s a road trip.

“Nah, my folks wouldn’t appreciate me disappearing like that.”

Folks? “Your ‘folks’ dead too?”

He tenses up, as if… did he not mean to say that? “Uh, well… no.”

“Oh, so you hang around your living family’s home or something? That’s not too bad.”

“Uh, yeah…”

I sit up and sigh. “Okay well, it’s..” I pull out my phone with a yawn. “Almost 10 o’clock and I’m too tired to think anymore… Guess you’re not too bad at this good guy stuff.”

He smiles and shrugs. “I try.” He gets up and floats off the roof. “So, you’re… not gonna jump?”

“Mmm… Nope. I got work tomorrow anyways and they’re buying us pizza. Can’t miss that.” I chuckle and stand up. “You just keep doing the hero thing, kid. You’ll get your chance for space someday, I’m sure.”

I turn and walk back to the stairway, smiling as I hear the faint ‘whoosh’ of him flying off.

Guess it wasn’t such a bad day afterall.