#i think. that maybe when i’m non-verbal (which is most of the time. i have a very weak voice from under-use and i can’t talk very loud

[cannedpickledpeaches]

Cater Thoughts

Cater Diamond x Reader

Maybe it’s just the stuff that I come across, but a lot of Cater fics focus on his character flaws and personal issues. Which is great, and often a good read! But I was thinking about Cater who is doing the healing instead of being the one who is healed.

Let’s say you just came out of a relationship that wasn’t working for you. Your ex wasn’t a bad person. But none of his interests aligned with yours. Furthermore, while you put an ocean’s worth of effort into learning about his interests, his efforts were more like a single drop of water. When you started talking about something you liked, he often brushed it off and changed the topic to something that suited him. It was such a common occurrence that you kept quiet and let it happen.

Ironically, one day during your relationship, he asked you about your hobbies. Instead of feeling happy, your first thought was: “What’s the point of telling him?”

A few months after your breakup, you meet Cater Diamond. He’s fun, sweet, and as much as he likes to talk, he also listens. You don’t realize it at first. You continue on with your habits from your previous relationship—always nodding along to his hobbies, interests, problems, gossip, and whatever else he feels like saying. Everything goes smoothly. Cater never runs out of things to say. The conversation is always lively and you’re enjoying yourself.

One evening, the two of you lay beneath a tapestry of stars in the night sky while Cater points out various constellations. There’s a lull in the conversation while he snaps a picture of the dazzling display. Just as you’re about to ask him to elaborate on something, he asks you a simple question.

“Am I talking too much?”

You blink up at the stars. They blink back at you.

“No,” you say, somewhat confused. “I like hearing you talk. It’s fun.”

“Oh, that’s good.” He laughs and sets his camera on the grass, laying beside you. “I was worried that I was boring you. You don’t really say much about what you like, so I thought maybe you aren’t that into me.”

That wasn’t the impression you were trying to give at all. You roll to your side, facing him, and frantically try to assure him of your attraction.

“No, that’s not it! I just . . . I’m not sure if you’d be interested in the things I like.”

“Well, we can’t be sure until you tell me, right?” He reaches over and gently touches your cheek. Beneath this blanket of pinprick diamonds in the sky, Cater Diamond is the most dazzling in your eyes as he utters the words you wanted to hear this whole time. “Tell me anything you want. Cay-Cay’s listening.”

You’d think that it would all gush out like you opened invisible floodgates, but that’s far from what happens. You have absolutely no idea how to start. What do you say? You’re drawing a blank, and he can tell.

“How about listing a bunch of your favourite things?”

You try that. Luckily, Cater is an excellent conversationalist, and you end up saying a lot more than you thought you could. His reactions vary from subject to subject. For some, he’s just as passionate and knowledgeable as you. For others, he’s never even heard of them. But he’s more than happy to listen and learn.

After your stargazing date, he often sends you posts on Magicam related to what you said. You’re surprised he even remembers. The act of remembrance indicates importance, prioritization. The fact that he remembers what you like makes you feel loved. Like you’re important to him. It’s a non-verbal confirmation of your mutual affection, and you’re more determined than ever to show that affection to him ten-fold in return.

[michelleelizabethtanner]

So obviously, we know that Beth and Rio hooked up a few times… sexually. But what do you think are your favourite non-sexual moments of tenderness between Beth and Rio?

Or whatever you find most meaningful coming from like a non-verbal or basically anything that’s not sexual standpoint. I find their communication so unique but I know a lot of it likely goes over my head.

I’ve sat on this for a bit, Anon. Sorry about that. It was in part because I was using all my Brio time to finish that dang fic I’ve been fighting with for over a year, but also because I feel like I need a rewatch and a refresh on all the details. I haven’t seen any part of the show since last October when I watched a few episodes while visiting a fandom friend (so we basically HAD to do it, amirite?), and I feel like I’m forgetting a lot of the details and just remember the general vibes. I agree, the magic of Brio is in the unspoken. Or rather, unverbalized. Sometimes they understand each other perfectly regardless, and sometimes they don’t (and someone gets shot on accident.)

I’ve named this scene before, but I really love their little discussion about Smurfing. I have more detail about why I love it in this post from a while back which tumblr for whatever reason isn’t letting me embed in a link so here is the whole entire thig https://www.tumblr.com/michelleelizabethtanner/704994865351622656/girl-i-love-all-your-analysis-and-meta-and?source=share

That post also has mention of some of my other favorite moments between them. Some sexual, some not. But always romantic.

If you think about it, they’ve had so few real interactions between them that almost all of them are laden with meaning. There are your obvious ones like “the dubby” and all of 4.08 and his broken little “you just didn’t choose me.” (Whyyyy can’t I link back to my old posts on these topics, this is so annoying!) But there’s also these quiet sideways little glances between them. The dropped eyes. The missed moments when one is pointedly ignoring that the other is watching them.

The “I’m worth it” when he finds out the feds made her an offer, followed by his little shoulder touch with an offer of the whole bottle of her bourbon as a thank you gift when he thought maybe she’d chosen him. So reminiscent of that empathetic little shoulder touch and an offer to drink on his tab from back before things went so bad between them, when she’d told him her husband took her children. That history! Their shared understanding and him showing her both times that he understood her position because maybe he’d been in both those positions himself before.

The quiet “how’d you get that?” when he shows up all embarrassed with his black eye which he’ll never tell her he got over her.

The hurt and bitter “you, me, we – it’s just business,” when he knows they’re nothing of the sort. When he’d killed a woman and made Beth watch to hurt her, and when he couldn’t bear to watch her cry afterwards. And the fact that she’d even sought him out to cry to him at all in that moment. She had no one else. Annie and Ruby both sought comfort in those they loved. And so did Beth, I suppose. She held it all in until Rio showed up and despite his anger she showed him her vulnerability and her tears. And he couldn’t even look at her.

I guess I’m kind of partial to the heavier moments tonight haha. Which ones do you like or that resonate with you most?

[starsodd]

Proper Pressure OC introduction!

I created this on IbisPaint because I couldn't do the one on Roblox. (Disclaimer, this is genuinely my first time writing an OC's backstory. I usually only ever create designs, not stories. Have mercy. The document was heavily inspired by Sebastian’s and that will be very obvious.)

Warnings:

This contains the topic of murder and cannibalism, it doesn't go into explicit detail by any means but it is mentioned.

Look below for a better look at the lore, just in case you can't read it.

Z-49—codename "False Angel," real name "Maria Manice"—is also deemed "KILL ON SIGHT," along with Z-13 or "The Saboteur." After the events of Z-13, she was freed and now wanders around the black site. Her motives are unclear. Unlike Z-13, she doesn't seem to be actively searching for an escape. She has been seen swimming around and interacting with any EXR-P team personnel she finds. Most interactions between her and the expendables she comes across have been friendly, but when pushed too far, her tentacle-like hair strands have been seen to extend and pick up whoever annoys her, bringing them to her mouth as her next meal.

Z-49, before being brought to the Hadal black site, was a popular designer known for her beautiful gowns and looks. At the age of twenty-four, she was wealthy and married to her then-husband, (Redacted), whom she murdered in 2020 along with seven other workers after catching him in bed with one of the housemaids. After she made sure they were all dead, she called the police herself and waited for them to arrive. When the police arrived on the scene, they were met with a bloody sight as well as Z-49 sitting on her couch, eating her husband's heart which she had carved out. She was arrested and later charged with eight counts of murder and cannibalism. During interrogation, she admitted that she never actually loved her husband. He worked as an assistant in her company, catching her eye due to his shy demeanor and overall weakness. After being charged and sentenced to death, she faced a similar fate to Z-13: being given several samples of DNA strands from sea angels, sea bunnies, black sea nettles, and a male anglerfish. Like Z-13, her experiments were considered a success. As of now, in 2025, Z-49's transformation is not considered complete. Her body is still changing and, by the end, will appear more like a sea angel. A week before the site lockdown, Z-49 began avoiding her meals and would instead pick up the guardsmen who were sent in and eat them instead. After being freed she went on a rampage much like the other monsters, and now sticks around to keep feeding. Z-49 is to be killed on sight. DO NOT HESITATE.

Bonus!

The low-quality badge you’d get for dying to her! How? Well, I’ve been thinking about a bunch of potential functions for her, and I think I’d give her two, much like p.AI.nter. She was asked by Sebastian to help with the process of delaying the expendables’ goal of getting the crystal. The way she does that is in a couple of ways. In dark rooms with non-navigable paths, if there is a window, she will appear and use her light to guide the expendable. She would have a 50/50 chance of leading them the correct or wrong way. If she leads them the wrong way and the expendable falls for it, they’ll be led to where Eyefestation will be waiting. She’d then taunt them and swim off, most likely insulting their intelligence. Another way of meeting could be in a bigger room, much like p.AI.nter (can you tell I’m not exactly original?). She would introduce herself and her purpose. The player would have the chance to ask a few unimportant questions (like maybe “What do you think of Sebastian?” type questions, you know, just to waste time) that she would answer. The way to get the badge is by using the flash beacon on her a total of four times, three being verbal warnings, with her getting visibly irritated each time, until the fourth time when she would snap and use her tentacles to pick up the player and eat them.

I THINK THAT'S ALL. I HOPE THAT THIS IS GOOD THANK YOU!!! GOODNIGHT!!

~An expendable sheep

[padawansuggest]

You know the most annoying thing (btw this isn’t the WORST issue it’s just that it’s mine and I am the writer of this post) about being 90%+ non-verbal????

It’s that I also have a stutter. Why does that matter??? Because the longer I go without talking the worse/weirder/newer issues it gives me.

Lately I’ve been repeating full phrases without being able to stop myself and sometimes I worry that dad (the person I live with and therefore talk to the most) thinks that im repeating things like… angrily or like I don’t think he’s listening??? One time I accidentally (because I rarely speak it means that sometimes automatic words come out instead of truly what you mean) used she for a friend of mine instead of they. I immediately caught it and corrected ‘they, sorry’ and normally, that would be that. Like i mispronounced my own GFs name because I knew someone with it pronounced another way first, so it took me a hot minute to actually consistently get it correct out loud. But. Instead of just saying ‘they, sorry’ I accidentally repeated the word ‘they’ in a stutter like 5 times, which then made me nervous because now it seemed like I was sorta mocking them.

So. It’s kinda scary when you start stuttering whole words instead of just syllables cause you get mix ups like that.

And then sometimes I stutter so hard that it straight up triggers an annoyance reaction and I become 50% less verbal in that exact moment because it annoyed me so much that now I’m having issues figuring out how to speak at all.

I used to ramble the stutter out of myself as a teen because I spoke well enough in school if I had something to say, but even then I barely spoke. But now. I’m like. Really, I have nothing to say. And I know you can say ‘just read out loud’ or something like that.

Great idea. Except sometimes the sound of my own voice scares me and I end up going non-verbal again.

Maybe I’m just. Not meant to talk very much????? Idk man.

I’m not even asking for help I just sometimes put an issue I have out there to hope that others can relate to it and help them feel better too.

[bumpkinspice0]

Parallels Chapter 15: The Cure

Miguel O'Hara x Spider!FemReader

No use of y/n

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: Ignorance is bliss, but bliss is always temporary.

Warnings: Like just so much angst, big feelings, mentions of past smut, verbal argument, this is cringey, i'm sorry

A/N:  Again, sorry updates to this story have been slower. I didn't really know which direction I wanted to go with everything up to this point/ how to resolve stuff I have planned. BUT I think I have a much better plan and idea of how to continue (and eventually) end this story. So, all that to say updates will likely be more frequent again now that I know what direction I'm going. Like the next 2 chapters are already half written so we good. Loves yous guys!

Previous. - Next

Series Masterlist

AO3

_______________

Chapter 15

The Cure

“I’m not eating that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s fucking blue, Gwen.”

“People eat blue stuff all the time,” Gwen slides the lunch tray closer to you, the most off-putting hamburger sitting in the center. An absolutely unnatural blue bun with the design of Miguel’s mask painted across the top in red. You wonder if he approved this himself or if it was a private joke everyone was waiting for him to notice. Very likely the latter.

“Bread is not supposed to be blue,” You push the tray back across the table. You swear the little edible abomination is staring back at you.

“I’m with her on this one,” Jess nudges your side, looking just as disgusted as you were at the blue monstrosity. “Things creepy, Gwen.”

“I’ll eat it then,” Hobie snatches the burger from the tray and takes a generous bite without hesitation, “Rid us all of such a horrid thing.”

“Do they serve any non-spider-themed food here?” Gwen and Hobie’s new friend asks, “Like just normal food?”

“The empanadas are alright?” Gwen shrugs.

Pavitir Prabharkar. Pavi, they seemed to call him for short. Just joined about a month ago. He only had a few months of being Spider-Man before that. He was fresh and rosey to the game. An enthusiasm you probably once had when you first started. Hobie and Gwen had taken him in immediately and you’d rarely seen one of them without the other at their side these days. It was sweet, and honestly relieving to see people so young with such a big job have each other, especially Gwen. She was finding a family here after losing everything.

You ran into them in the cafeteria just grabbing a quick bite. You could have eaten in Miguel’s house but you ultimately decided to be a little more social to start your day. You sadly woke up alone, again, but Miguel left a note on the bedside table for you. 

Had some errands to run. Meet me in the lab at 1.

-Mig 

He even topped it all off with a sweet little heart drawn in the bottom corner. It seemed unlike him to vanish with a note. Well, actually it was very like him, but something about it just felt off. Even Lyla wouldn’t elaborate for you. Maybe your emotions were running high after spending all night tangled in each other's arms.  Maybe he needed time to process everything, or maybe he really was just that busy. He did have a whole multiverse team to run. You’re past the point of wondering why he did the things he did.  Miguel had his ways and you had yours. As long as you find each other in the end.

Regardless, you were completely fine with moping around the tower for a few hours today. You didn’t have anything to be home for and you had some catching up to do with the crew.

So here you were, roped into a lunch with mostly teenagers trying to feed you lethal amounts of blue dye 99. All in all, you can’t complain.

“Room for one more?” The most comfortably dressed of the spider-men slides in next to Gwen, his infant daughter strapped proudly to his chest for all the world to admire. 

“Sure,” Gwen rolls her eyes but still has an amused smile she tries to hide. “You wanna try a Hamburger, Peter?”

“The blue ones? Say no more.” Peter B. Parker— basically Gwen’s weird uncle. You didn’t know him much yourself but he liked to hang around Gwen. They’d both been one of the originals shot into Earth-1610. The place that started it all— forbidden from travel. Home to the original anomaly. You never asked Gwen about it but you could see it in her eyes sometimes. The longing for someone she left there. You think Peter felt similarly. How could they not? You’d caught them bickering about it once or twice— about him and when they could go back for him. If they could go back. 

Someone who changed their lives forever, just a watch jump away. You’d heard his name whispered like it was a curse. 

Miles Morales. The original anomaly. One of the main reasons you're all here. Just a kid caught up in the wrong mess. Still, he had someone like Gwen and Peter to help him through it. What you would have given to have someone like them around when you first got bitten. You don’t know the details of what happened, and you don’t want to be rude and ask, but it clearly changed something for both of them. Whoever they were before was someone completely different than the people you knew sitting at the table with you today. The multiverse will do that, you suppose. 

Mayday crawls from her carrier and takes her place prominently in the center of the table. Center of attention, as she should be. 

“Oh, MJ’s gonna love this.” Peter pulls out his phone immediately, dozens of pictures taken in the span of maybe 3 seconds. 

Hobie and Pavi don’t hesitate to join in on the impromptu photoshoot. Jess and Gwen both hang their heads in embarrassment. Gwen was taking on her mannerisms after a few months of mentorship. Jess really did take her first request to heart and practically adopted the girl. 

This was it. This was your community. Your tribe. These fucking weirdos, and you loved it. In spite of all this fucked up shit with Miguel, you’d made a home in this place— with these weirdos. It seemed like Miguel could be part of it if he just tried a little harder. You think he wanted to be. He longed for those human connections, it was so obvious once you got to know him. And still, he kept everyone at arm's length for almost no reason. He always wanted to be viewed as equal. He did the same work as his other spiders, had the same missions and goals, yet closed himself off from being a part of the community. Maybe he wanted to be feared as well. He always tried so hard to convince you he was a monster. That he wasn’t worthy of love. 

You should bring him down here. You could help him join it all again. He was a stubborn man, yes, but could eventually listen to reason— if you were annoying enough about it. Miguel deserved so much more than he gave himself. 

Would he do that with you? Be out in the open side by side? You’d never thought about it before but now you think it’s something you might want. No more hiding. There would be a lot more to work out but… that’d be a start.

Maybe. Maybe he would go for it. 

One o’clock sneaks up so quickly you almost miss it, shamefully having to pull yourself away from your chaotic lunch table with some made-up excuse. Maybe you wouldn’t have to lie anymore. Maybe you could finally come clean and this weight could be lifted off your shoulders. 

Something changed between you and Miguel over these last few months. Something that wasn’t there before. If you think about it too long you’ll start to doubt yourself. He couldn’t hide it either. What you’d both become to each other. It started out so complicated but now it seems like you’d both surrendered to it. He showed you his home, his life, his heart. You’d both given it all to each other and now one of you just had to say it out loud. 

What in particular you’d say, you have no idea. 

The spider-sense hums when you cross the threshold into Miguel’s lab. The air in it is heavy, but that’s nothing new— especially considering what happened here the other night. The memory makes your cheeks blush.

And as always, there he stands on his desk platform, still as a statue. Always working. Yeah, you really needed to force some friends on him after this. You swing up to the platform and pull him into a hug from behind. He almost topples over from the dramatic entrance, bracing himself on the desk. 

“Hi,” you murmur lovingly into his back. 

“Hello,” He grumbles. It comes out irritated but you can tell he’s smiling. 

“Just got back from the cafeteria. You should really get a burger from there some time,” you tease him, leaning back into one of the swivel chairs.

“Why?” He turns to face you, eyebrows knitted together. 

“I just… think you’d like them,” you smile, giving the chair a good spin, “So, what’s up? You wanna talk about yesterday I’m assuming?”

His shoulders immediately tense and you feel a little bad for bringing it up so bluntly. God, he probably felt awful about putting you both in that position and ultimately… how it got resolved. Not that you minded. You feel like you have to stop yourself from blurting ‘Not the sex! The sex was great!’ Instead, you just shut up and let him take the lead.

“I… no. And yes,” he stammers, leaning back against the desk, “How are you… feeling?”

“Uh, fine I suppose,” You bring your knees up to your chest, suddenly a little wary of how to continue. He was on edge about it, you could tell. Your hand rubs over the fresh healed skin on your neck, “Just fine.”

“Good,” he looks away. Something was off. Maybe he just asked you to come in because he felt like he had to. Like he had to explain himself. You want to assure him he didn’t. 

“Miguel, if you don’t wanna talk about it, that’s—”

“No!” He snaps his head back in your direction, “It’s not that. It’s not—”

He growls, pushing several papers off his desk. Okay, so he was really upset about something. Something you did? Something in the multiverse. You don’t know, but when it comes to dealing with Miguel you’ve found a gentle hand is what gets results. 

You stand up and wrap a hand around his forearm, urging him to face you. He turns, a grimace on his face. He still looks away. Could he not even look at you? The implications of that frighten you, but still, you press on. Your other hand slowly comes up to his cheek and the lines on his face instantly smooth under your touch. Well that’s a good sign, right?

“You’re making this so much harder than it needs to be,” he mumbles, placing a kiss into your palm. 

“Please tell me what on earth you’re talking about so I can stop freaking out down here.” You weakly attempt a smile. 

He sighs, gently removing your hands. He grabs a metal case from the desk. He clicks it open and holds it in front of you. Inside are two vials of a pale green liquid. They look remarkably similar to his power dampeners. 

The realization finally hits you.

“Miguel?”

“It finished synthesizing after the attack.” His voice is so gentle now. So calm, “I wanted to give you time… Give us both some time.” 

There it is. The cure to your bond. The very thing you were praying for months ago. You should be happy, right? This is what you wanted. Your salvation. So why did it feel like you just got punched in the gut?

“It’s…it’s a one-time injection,” He takes one of the vials out and examines it in his hands. “There’ll be no pain. It’s safe.” 

You don’t know what you're supposed to say. Was he really expecting you to say anything, though? Your stunned silence was probably answer enough. He takes the other vial out and hands it to you. You hesitantly accept it, almost expecting it to burn your skin when you roll it around in your hands. It was so… innocent. It was nothing. This little tube was holding your heart in your hands. 

“What…what do we do now?” your voice comes out so small you almost do recognize it. 

You see a twinge of pain flash across his face. He turns away to grab the injector gun. He holds it idly between you two. 

“Now we… go back to business as usual.” 

You look down at the offensive object. The final nail in the coffin to seal both of your fates. This was the goal all along. This is what needed to happen. You place your hand on top of the injector gun. This time it does burn. It feels wrong. The spider-sense makes your vision flash with white as soon as you touch it. You stumble away, almost in fear.

“I… I can’t do this, Miguel.” 

“What?” he hurriedly sets the gun aside. 

“Don’t you feel it?” Your heart is suddenly beating a mile a minute. You're afraid. Afraid of losing him or afraid of what this serum with do to you, you’re not really sure. 

“It– it doesn’t matter. We have to.” So he does feel it too. The rising anxiety. The panic. The screaming inside your head. 

“And what if we do, Miguel? What happens after?” You’re fighting to hold back tears. You’re already bargaining. You’re pleading with him and it feels so pathetic, “Can’t we still—”

“No.” It came out so quickly it was like a bullet to your chest, “We can’t— we shouldn’t. It’s too risky. We’ve already risked enough just by–”

He trails off, turning away again. He doesn’t want to be doing this either. If it was painful for you, it had to be painful for him. He couldn’t just cut you off so callously, right? He was putting on a stone mask because he didn’t want to feel. You know this all meant something to him. You meant something. You know it.

Suddenly you want to hurt him. You want him to feel how you feel. Make your words sting— Just show he’ll show some emotions. Anything.

“I keep sharing so much of myself with you and the next day you turn around and act like it meant nothing. Like I mean nothing to you.” A tear finally falls. He turns back around and you can see him resisting the urge to comfort you, hands clenched tightly at his sides.

“That’s not true.”

“Then say it. Say I mean something. Don’t you fucking care?”

“I—I can—that’s not—”

It’s not fair. You’re not being fair but panic is taking the wheel. It makes you angry. Makes you mean.

“No? Then say I don’t mean anything if you want this to be over so bad.” You spit.

You see the words wound him, “Of course you do. But you know— you know this can’t possibly work.”

“Why not?!”

His lips flatten into a thin line and he turns away. He hunches over the desk with a heavy sigh, “I shouldn’t have to explain why to you.”

For once, he’s right. He doesn’t. You know why. You absolutely know why. His wife. His daughter. An entire world gone by his doing. Somehow, you can’t bring yourself to reason with the very real risks— the selfish risks you’ve been taking. What either of you could do to your respective realities. You could end the world if you weren’t careful. Everything must be balanced and this bond was tipping the scales. You both simply being together was a risk to the universe at large. Something so small had very real consequences. Miguel proved that a long time ago. 

You always knew this was selfish from the beginning.

Yet another part of you doesn't believe that. This was hard but the right choice should be obvious, right? You made hard choices all the time as a spider. The right choice was always easy in the end because you were sure of yourself. So why did this feel so… wrong? 

The tears fall at full force now. 

“Miguel I— I don’t know what to do,” you clutch at your chest. “I know this is what we agreed on. I know it’s what we should do. I know but it feels so— you have to feel it too.”

He catches you before you can crumple to the ground. He pulls you in close as you tremble in his arms. The sense hums but it wants more. It wants him, and this just isn’t enough. 

You’re not sure how long you stand there with him holding you like a pathetic child. Hugs are usually so comforting. This one felt more like an apology. An unsaid I’m sorry for putting us both through this. You want to hit him. You want to kiss him and never stop. You want to scream. 

In the end, you do nothing. You do nothing and he just holds you.

Eventually, he’s the first to break the silence.

“This is the way it has to be.” 

You're angry. You’re angry because you know he’s right. Despite being so similar, you were from different worlds at the end of the day. Different realities. You were never supposed to meet. Yet here you are crying into his arms. 

Fate is ruthless that way. 

The cure is still clutched in your hands, burning a hole through your palm. You pull away from him and look down at the horrid little thing. 

“You don’t have to take it right now,” He says, his hand closing over the top of yours. “When you're ready.”

You nod, shoving the damned thing in your pocket. “When will you take yours?”

He hesitates for a moment, “When I’m ready.” 

It makes you want to start sobbing all over again. He didn’t want this to be over either. Just when you thought you could have it all, it’s ripped away from both of you. 

But… this is how it had to be. 

Despite the pain, despite your own greedy wants, it’s what must be done for the sake of the greater good. That’s what a spider always does, right? That’s what this world is, constant sacrifice. The glamorous life of a hero— you’re so tired of it. 

You’re not making it any easier for yourself by lingering around him. He wanted this to be over quickly, and so did you. End it, then you can go your separate ways— and cry on Jack’s couch for the next month. If this had to end, then it had to end completely. Snuff out the flames now so he doesn’t hurt more later. 

You want to kiss him so badly, but you have to remain strong. Both of your resistance is paper thin and a single wrong move could tear it all down and make this even more painful. Take a page from his book and put on a stone mask. Don’t feel— at least for right now. 

You step out of his grasp, instantly missing his warmth when you do. You hug yourself, hoping to keep some of him with you. 

“I should go,” You simply say. 

“Okay.” He nods, reaching out and then instantly retracting his hand. God, why did this have to be so hard?

You don’t even realize you’d hit your button home until the portal materializes behind you. Its deep bassy buzzing falls deaf on your ears. You gaze into its menagerie of pulsing colors and see only gray now. 

The sense pounds against your skull when you take a step closer to your way home. 

Stay! Stay here, with him!

The sense always seemed like its own entity anyway. Something inside you panicking for its own self-preservation. Maybe that’s all this was— a parasite. It helped to think about it that way, at least. 

You turn to take one last look at Miguel. A hulking man standing at nearly 7 feet tall… just looked so small right now. So defeated. You did that to him— and you can’t do anything to fix it. Not anymore. 

Your first instincts about the spider-sense were right. 

It was a curse. 

“Miguel?” His name almost hurts to say. He looks into your very soul, blood-red eyes somehow speaking words that could never be fully articulated. “Thank you. For… everything.”

You don’t wait for a response, stepping into the world between worlds, eager to be home where you’d allow yourself to fall apart all over again. 

________

Taglist:

@ineedgarlicbread @pinkiemme @thesilenthill @bontensbabygirl @fallenangelsongwolf @raerorigel @littlefreakymunson @viriexo

@w33ni3 @del-ightfulling

Taglist post here!!!

[cozymoko]

Hello OP ヾ(๑╹◡╹)ﾉ" I was super excited to see someone writing for AkaYona in 2023, it was such a dead fandom last I checked two years ago. I was reading your rules and it seems you exclusively write for yanderes? But I’ve seen you write non-yandere content too. So if it’s okay…maybe a platonic reader and Yoon who sees Yoon as her child and is fiercely protective? Bonus points if it makes Yoon cry because he remembers when he lost his mother and is unused to having someone care for him since he’s usually the one caring for the group? Sorry if this offensive, I’m rereading the manga and have a lot of feels

Note: Hi hi hi! I do not exclusively write for yanderes but it seems like those type of posts get the most interaction. I'll be sure to go back and make it more specific.

I never really liked Yoon so this might be a little strange to read. I read the manga years ago.

Pairing: Yoon x (platonic) Mother-figure! reader

Format: Headcanons

WARNING(S): slight angst

LINKS: Akatsuki no Yona Masterlist

You were only a couple of years older than YOON; less than eight to be precise, and it took very little time for the two of you to grow close. After the unfortunate passing of his mother nonetheless, you became his main source of support from there forward. And although similar in numerous ways, you were also differe nt.

It was hard for him to adjust to the idea of someone caring for him as much as you did. You reminded him of his mother in so many ways, it was comforting, to say the least. Not that he would admit it. He didn’t want to come across as weak or soft in front of others as the thought left his ears a font shade of pink. But as he expected, you did not care one bit

At times he finds your nagging to be such a pain, which is quite hypocritical on his behalf. But he never verbally complains, he wouldn't dare. You cared for him, deeply, and you were never scared of showing it. He's grateful for you even if he doesn't express it too often.

But once he gets attached, it's over. The two of you are inseparable, nearly spending every waking moment together.

You found yourself fixing his hair every morning, brushing through it with the utmost care. You’d make breakfast solely for him as he always forgot about himself whilst tending to the others. Your actions were brimming with affection, so much so that he could feel it with every touch. It made his heart swell with a foreign warmth that he hoped would stay forever.

The idea of calling you mom or mother isn't all that strange to him, and at times it comes as second nature. You entered his life at a very young age thus, he thinks of you as nothing more than a second parent.

He's grown pretty reliant on you in little time, though he'd never admit it. When seeking comfort or solutions he'd look for you. When annoyed and at his wits end with Yona and her dragons, you're always there to lend a helping hand and he's not opposed to it.

You are as protective as you are kind and his friends learned that the hard way. If they wouldn’t listen to Yoon, they sure as hell listened to you (strange sentence).

Your glares were deadly like a snake staring through its prey. You did not attempt to hide your protectiveness, there was no use. Seeing you practically seeth when Hak even slightly raised his voice at the young boy sent you spiraling out.

YOON was more than capable of taking care of himself, you were aware, but the thought of leaving weighted you with ineffable grief. You didn’t want to, you would never. He’s been hurt enough and you knew that your absence would crush him into pieces.

Restless nights had become scarce for him thanks to you. You never left his side, leaving him something — someone to wake up to. Occasionally, the two of you would take amongst yourselves as YOON was gradually lulled to sleep by the steady beating of your heart.

“You don't have to pretend in front of me, know?” Your voice was soft as you gently pat his head, swaying to the whispers of the ocean touching the salty coast. “I'll always be here for you Yoon, no matter what.”

You sit on the edge of a sharp peak, its warm surface faintly grazing the cold skin beneath your legs. A faint smile captured your lips as you gaze to your side. Yoon watched you, eyes wide, fingers coiled into tight fists; but not out of rage, oh no, but happiness rather.

“D...don't say embarrassing things like that, of course, you'll be here! Where would you go anyways? Hmph, you said you wouldn't leave me so I expect you to keep your promises!”

[successfullyadhd]

My son is ADHD and suffers very badly from second hand embarrassment. He can not even watch a tv show or movie with a character that does something embarrassing. I think it is the reason he is scared to try new things in fear of not being good at it and getting Embarrassed.

Do you have any suggestions for me to help him overcome this?

I’m so sorry that it’s 2024 and I somehow just saw this question from 2021. Whew. Awkward.

Anyway, I’m going to answer as if it’s still helpful because it might be! And if not to you, then maybe another person.

Two parts -

1) second hand embarrassment. I get this ALL the time and cannot watch certain shows because of it. The Office is a great example, where the humor is based on other people not understanding typical social cues. I cannot be in the room while someone is watching The Office. Or pretty much anything with Will Ferrell.

People with ADHD have incredible empathy, to the point where they deeply feel emotions of other people around them. Part of it is a defense mechanism - we get so many more negative reactions from our peers and adults at a young age than is typical that you start intensely studying non-verbal cues to recognize when something is about to go wrong. Watching this play out, even in a non-threatening situation like through a TV show, sparks up our fight-or-flight. The social cues are telling us to run even though it isn’t happening to us. The other reason is that our brains are wired to feel our own emotions more intensely than the average person. When we see other people going through a situation we find relatable or have experienced before (skirt tucked into your undies in public) the emotions we would be feeling in the same situation get brought up, even though it isn’t happening to us. Our brain and nervous system is recognizing a pattern and telling us what it *would* feel like if it were us, which then makes us understand how that person is most likely feeling.

And for this, I have no suggestions 🙃 if I knew how to stop second hand embarrassment, I would share. But I would say it could be a strength, because empathy and shared human experiences help you be a better person, and make lasting friendships. (As long as those friends don’t watch The Office. Or Parks and Rec.)

2) not trying new things - this one is also common among the ADHD crowd. ADHD people have a tendency to be perfectionists - we can see exactly how something should go and as soon as we have an idea, our brain has already sprinted ahead to the finish line and made a diagram of the exact way to get there. But there is a disconnect between our ideas - often ambitious, lofty and enthusiastic - and the experience needed to make it happen. For example, I love embroidery. I daydream about the incredible designs I would love to make - but when I try to do it, I don’t have the skill needed to make it come to life. If I kept at it, tried and practiced and messed it up and tried it again, I would have already been the best embroidery artist the world has seen. But the experience of the perfect imagine in my brain not being translated into what my skill is capable of doing is frustrating, and I quickly become uninterested.

It can be intimidating to try new things and feeling like unless you have innate talent, you aren’t going to be successful and you will look dumb. (And even people with innate talent need practice to hone their skills.)

To encourage trying new things, I would suggest starting small in a space where he is free to fail repeatedly over and over again. When I go to a yoga class and the teacher introduces some complicated move that my body isn’t ready for, I’ll sometimes take a water break or pause in the previous movement and look around with envy at all the other people successfully doing it. I wait it out and then go on with the movements when I’m back in comfortable territory. But when I get home, I’ll practice the move by myself over and over again until I’m ready to do it in front of other people without the humiliation of struggling in front of my peers.

The other thing that helps is low pressure and low stakes situations. I am not athletic by any stretch of the imagination and I can remember so many situations in grade school (or middle school!) gym class where we would need to do some athletic feat in front of 30 other kids. I would try to get out of it and the teacher would pressure me, and the other kids would say “it’s not that hard, just do it.” And I would feel so embarrassed and flustered by the attention I would make an attempt (and utterly fail) to hit the ball and then run to the back of the line as other kids laughed. And you can bet I never, ever tried to do any of those things again because even revisiting the memory of the first attempt made me feel nauseous. But looking back, if I could have had a one-on-one situation where someone patient and kind worked with me, I would have tried so many more things. Pressure would make me double down on refusing, quiet offering would make me feel safe enough to try it.

Also, another idea would be to give him options of things he can try on his own with minimal teaching/interference. Like if someone had introduced cross country skiing, or rock climbing, or some other sport where there wasn’t a whole team relying on me, and I could practice independently to get better, I might have found an athletic side after all. Other things in the category would be: hands on crafts - leather working, bead making, drawing, etc. computer programming/video game building. Writing. Cooking. Growing a plant or a garden. Things that you can fail at over and over without it being a public display. (Whether the scrutiny is real or imagined, it will dampen the mood) And if he wants to throw away his art work without showing you, or won’t let you see his first clay sculpture or whatever - let him. Let him keep it to himself until he’s ready. I remember adults - teachers, coaches, whoever - asking to see my -insert whatever here- and me being embarrassed because I knew it wasn’t good. And then them complimenting me and encouraging me, and me being more embarrassed because I knew that objectively the thing wasn’t good and they were being kind. They were doing all the right things but I just wanted to keep it to myself until I felt confident enough to share my progress.

I hope this helps! Good luck! It’s been three years since you submitted this so I’m sure life looks different for your family today but maybe this is something that still comes up.

[asher-agere]

I do not have anything extra to add to this request since nothing has really happened today for me (other than finally getting a wig for my Halloween costume. Pink wigs are apparently very uncommon so I had to get a white one and pink hair spray to just make it pink myself) so I’ll get straight to the point! Can you share your thoughts on caregiver Kōyō with a very very shy little. Like, refuses to talk to anyone except her and even then at most only says a few words to her and refuses to even be around other people… like the little is already shy when not regressed but it just gets ten times worse when they’re little. Once again, no specific character in mind :3

- Fyodor enjoyer

Getting a wig is so exciting! (๑ > ᴗ < ๑) I actually style wigs for cosplay so I know it can be a nightmare… I wish you luck! So much luck! And I can absolutely do that! That level of shy reminds me of Kyouka actually so this might be kinda based on their dynamic! (Wan Kyouka and Kōyō in the preschool episode… My babies…)

Caregiver Kōyō + Shy Little

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

⛥ Kōyō would find a shy little absolutely adorable! She would grow so absolutely protective over them, never wanting them out of her sights even! She’d be very careful to them comfortable at all times! Always safe from as many stress factors as possible!

⛥ If her little one is already shy when they’re in a bigger headspace then I think she’d be pretty used to handling them! She’d have enough experience to know what kind of things might stress them out, likes and dislikes, which is perfect! That way she doesn’t need to make the baby talk if they don’t want to!

⛥ She definitely lets them hide in her Kimono! She’ll wear shoes that specifically make her taller and therefore easier to hide behind. She’ll let her little one grab her sleeves to hide behind, make use of the long flowy fabric to seemingly disappear. She’ll reach out and gently pat them on the head, but otherwise pay them no mind. If they disappeared she can’t see them right? She doesn’t want to stress them out

��� She’ll always make sure there’s a blanket or a stuffed animal around! More ways to hide their face hehe. For a stuffed animal she’d pick something easy to hide behind! For example the ears on a bunny plushy! She’ll always have something to give them, not wanting to force them to interact any more than they need to

⛥ Kōyō can be a very clingy caregiver. But if her little one is too shy for overwhelming contact that’s perfectly ok! She’ll sit them on the couch, put on a cartoon, maybe get a small snack ready, then she’ll sit on the opposite end of the couch. She doesn’t want to be overbearing. If as they watch her baby crawls over into her arms she won’t mention it, she’ll just gently run her fingers through their hair and hum

⛥ She’d never force her baby to talk! If they’re too shy to that’s perfectly ok! The only time she might try to is if something is seriously wrong, even then she’d try making it as simple as possible. But mostly she likes giving them options! Drawing pictures is an amazing way to communicate! Bonus points if the baby hides their cute face behind the paper hehe

⛥ I’ve mentioned before that I think Kōyō would use Golden Demon to help her take care of a little, but if they’re super shy I don’t think she would! Sure they’re both aware Golden Demon isn’t an independent person, but it still seems like one at times and that can be stressful. She’d rather it’s just her and the baby

⛥ While Kōyō wouldn’t pressure her little one into contact, she would want to be in the same room as them! Especially if they’re non-verbal therefore less likely to ask for help. For example if her baby needs a bottle of milk she wants them to come with her into the kitchen. Yes even if they’re comfy on the couch watching a show, she just needs to make sure they’re safe!

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

Yay requests! Probably the last thing I’m posting tonight, time to go devote my night to my caregiver >:3 I feel oh so very productive! Seven posts in one day? That’s genuinely like insane- But so much fun! I could do this daily hehe. It’s a really nice escape from stressful things. Have a wonderful night to anyone reading this!

[hatosaur]

ep. 8 thoughts here we go. tw for sexual assault obv.

so i liked the episode, but not really as much as the others. compared to the others, i’m closer to lukewarm. the episode felt a bit rushed in the second half, because the first half spent an adequate amount of time setting up david.

i’m gonna talk about david first to get him outta the way.

i liked most of the details they added for him:

the christian thing -- as i was watching, i thought it was a good way to subtly imply the pedo thing without being overt about it. we also never got to see how much power david had in the game, so those beginning moments of the ep where his unequivocable leadership over the group is shown were really good at silently highlighting that. i’ve also seen it pointed out this being the “traditional” and “correct” way to maintain society and yet immediately turning to eating their own kind because of their one leader, versus jackson being communist and thriving because everyone holds the exact same amount of power, is really, really funny.

the subtle emphasis on traditional gender roles -- i don’t really recall him having this in the game but that moment where he insists he’s that one girl’s father because of his role in the town is a really scary prelude to what role he thinks ellie should take up alongside him.

the teacher thing -- much like the christian thing, but something that doesn’t quite hit till later. creeps me out just thinkin about it.

the detail that i didn’t like, which i feel crumples up all this good subtextual writing and throws in it the bin is david’s attempt to rape ellie. in my post about ep. 7, i was HOPING that they wouldn’t be more explicit about david’s...intentions than they already had been; and they did exactly that, but in the smallest way. in the penultimate moment, in the burning diner, david admits he likes “the part where they fight” the most and reaches for his belt. like...i get it. you want it to be clear-clear that he’s a pedophile, that had ellie gotten to the machete a bit later in the game, maybe he would’ve made that intention clear as well, but why go that far narratively? you already have the building blocks for the audience assuming he’s a creep, you even strengthened it in the subtext, so why make him attempt to sexually assault her, in a burning building i might add????

the only saving grace was bella’s acting chops and, of course, when she kills the mf.

i’m not a fan of craig mazin’s reasoning for his changes nor his understanding of the characters, especially in the bts for this ep. his point about david being right about ellie having a “violent heart” is gross, because no, she doesn’t?? she doesn’t have a violent heart anymore than joel does, or maria, or tommy, because they all live in the post-apocalypse. she’s a literal kid trying to survive and maintain the good that she has, why describe her in such a weird way? when she’s quite literally the embodiment of good and hope in the series??? i know more than you, craig. >:///

a change that i did like was the separation between what happened in the burning building and joel finding ellie. because yes, i agree, the whole point of ellie’s section was for her to come out victorious through her own making. that moment where they find each other again, with all the fucked up additions, did feel all the more relieving, i’ll give it that.

that other change where it’s not joel pulling her close, but ellie going in for a much-needed hug, was really good. to me, it works with the build-up of ellie’s reliance on his protection. “if you die, i’m fuckin’ dead out here” & “i can’t fucking do this without you” were building up to this point where she can (non-verbally) say that she needs him.

in the game, it’s more so “she’s finally safe, thank god she’s safe,” which is still good, clearly because it’s one of the best scenes in the game and because we’re in joel’s shoes, but i like that the show’s depiction of them plays into the dynamic of ellie loving joel’s protection and him just being there for her. shit, i like seeing how much ellie loves joel in the show!!! her cuddling up with joel REALLY felt to me like for a moment, she could pretend for a second that he’s more than some guy transporting her across the country, but like maybe a dad? something like a dad? something precious that she wants in her life for a long time??

the game being from joel’s perspective, we don’t get as much on ellie’s feelings, how she comes to love joel, and i really dig that the show is giving us that. like hey, i know she’s a kid and of course, that means she’ll latch on to him faster but maybe it’s a bit more complex than that, who knows.

HEY, SPEAKING OF JOEL: poor guy’s parts of the ep were way too short :( not just in an “i wanna see joel do more sick shit because this is a gameplay section” kinda way, but also in a “hey, you’re rushing the episode” kinda way. i wanted more of him tearing the place apart in search of ellie. the game had it that way to match the chaotic energies that both parties were going through just to get back with each other! but joel’s portions of the ep were lacking and it seemed like the episode needed that boost. in trying to remember what joel was doing in the episode, the first thing that comes to mind isn’t really his torture scene but him ambling about in the snow. not a great thing. give the man more to do, please. i now see what people mean when they say the action has been neutered a bit.

anyway, back to ellie again lol. 

bella was AMAZING in this. they’re so good at acting and acting like ellie that it’s like??? where they born to play ellie???? she killed all the feral moments, the vulnerable moments, the moments where ellie fucks up. the “ellie is the little girl that broke your fucking finger” moment was PHENOMENAL. 

last episode next week. it’s 44 min apparently?? i’m not liking how that looks. if it were up to me, it’d be a two-parter. a bigass slow burn. one episode dedicated to ellie and joel only, expands their growing relationship after winter, lets them be soft, has the giraffe moment, makes things seem okay, then at the end they get found by the fireflies. second starts with the anna flashback and really digs into what’s about to happen, rounding off the theme of getting into the scientific side of the cordyceps in a neat way, then kicks off the end segment of the game.

here’s hoping they nail it.

[ejzah]

A/N: Taking a little break from my super angsty, dark fic and guess what we have today? You got it, more flirting!

***

The Agent and the Fireman, Part 11

By unspoken agreement, Kensi was paired with Deeks as his partner/handler. Although they’d worked with non-federal liaisons in the past, she’d never been responsible for one before. At least Deeks seemed perfectly at ease with the situation.

For the sake of time and efficiency, they’d decided Deeks would tag along for any interviews Kensi conducted, but would stay back if the situation turned more dangerous. Deeks had rolled his eyes at that stipulation, pointing to his battered forehead in an apparent reference to the dangers he faced on a daily basis, but didn’t verbally protest.

As she’d noticed at the fire sites, there was an easy confidence about Deeks that spoke volumes. He let her take the lead, but wasn’t afraid to speak up if he had a relevant question or piece of information. She liked that. Liked that he was sure enough in himself and his skills that he wasn’t intimidated by working with federal agents or trying to out show them.

“I bet this isn’t quite what you expected when your captain offered you up to us,” Kensi guessed as they left their third interview of the day, taking the long walk back to road where they’d been able to park her SUV.

Jason McHenry appeared to have gone to ground so they were hoping family and old acquaintances might be able to shed some light. So far, they’d learned little aside from confirmation that McHenry liked to keep to himself and was mostly self-taught.

“I mean, every day can’t be filled with shootouts and fire engulfed buildings, can it?” Deeks said with a sardonic grin. “It’s ok. Since I’m on restricted duty, I’d probably be stuck in admin. At least this way, I have the chance to accomplish something.”

“Oh, well I’m glad that it’s not all terrible for you.”

“The company is pretty good.” Deeks winked, the twinkle his eyes making Kensi blush. If he stared at her like that much longer, she might just spontaneously combust. She cleared her throat and made a vague sweeping gesture with her arm.

“So, now that you’ve seen what we do, you think you might make the jump, become a federal agent?” Kensi asked Deeks with a confident grin. “We’re pretty amazing, right?”

“You are,” Deeks agreed. “Especially one agent in particular.” He paused a beat. “I’m speaking of Agent Hanna of course.” He dodged her elbow, grinning, and shrugged. “No, I have no desire to leave the LAFD. I love what I do now. And, I’d say I’m pretty damn good at it most of the time.”

“Modest,” Kensi commented, but didn’t disagree.

“I don’t have any reason to leave,” he reiterated.

She expected as much, but still was curious if he saw any elements of NCIS that appealed to him. Outside of present company.

“I wouldn’t mind working with you every day, but I would miss the suspenders.”

Deeks’ eyes widened, his head tilting as he considered her. His mouth curved with that teasing, half-grin Kensi had grown to love in an amazingly short amount of time.

“So the, uh, gear really does it for you, huh?”

“Maybe.” She brushed a stray curl off his forehead, eyeing him playfully. “Among other things.”

He nodded like he was tucking that revelation away for later. The thought made her stomach tighten pleasantly in anticipation.

“Oh? Do I get to hear about these “other things”?” he inquired.

Kensi looked him over, taking her time to study the fit of his button down shirt and the jeans he’d swapped out for his usual slacks or overalls. She adjusted the collar of his shirt and took another glance at his remarkably tight jeans. “Mm, I think that’ll have to wait for our makeup date,” she decided.

“Which can’t get here fast enough.” He sighed, slipping on a pair shades as they reached the SUV again.

Kensi’s phone beeped in her pocket and she pulled it out, scanning a text from Callen.

“Callen and Sam recovered several items from McHenry’s apartment,” she told Deeks. “We’re meeting them at the boat shed again.”

***

Deeks tilted his head, watching Sam Hanna methodically lay out a collection of mechanical and electrical pieces on the table.

“We found a hidden compartment in Jason McHenry’s apartment with this, a thumb drive, and a whole lot of cash in it,” Sam explained. “He either didn’t have time to clear everything out of didn’t come back at all.”

“Those look like—”

“The components of an incendiary device,” Deeks finished softly for Kensi, picking up a small electrical board. He builds his own.”

“You sound impressed,” Kensi said, observing his movements closely.

“It’s a sophisticated device.” He slid several components together, talking as he worked. “This lets McHenry control when the fire starts, he can set it for a specific time, and with the accelerants he uses, most of the components of the device are destroyed in the fire.” With a little flourish, he held up a finished example.

“That was hot,” Kensi said in a hushed voice.

Deeks glanced at her in amusement, catching Sam shaking his head.

“Glad you approve.”

“That doesn’t tell us where McHenry is hiding out,” Callen said. Deeks nodded in agreement, carefully replacing each piece in its former designated spot.

“True. But it does answer some of the questions we had about the fire,” he pointed out.

“You said there was a thumb drive too,” Kensi reminded Sam. “Was there anything on it?”

“Eric and Nell are looking at it now. All the files are encrypted, so it’s going to take some time for them to access the data,” Callen spoke up.

“So far, all they have is a communication between Jason McHenry and an unknown party.” Sam inclined his head. “The wording’s too vague to determine the topic.”

“Alright, it’s going to take a while for Eric and Nell to finish the decryption,” Callen said. “You’re welcome to stay if you want Deeks, but there’ll probably be a lot of down time and you’ve had a couple rough days.”

“I have the sense I’m being dismissed,” Deeks said wryly.

“Only because we care,” Sam drawled, drawing a snort from Deeks.

“Ok, I’ll go. Text me when you find out anything new though.”

“Sure thing.” Callen glanced at Kensi with a smirk. “Kens, you want to drive him home?”

“Of course,” Kensi said quickly, like he might change his mind.

“Be back in an…hour and half,” Callen added. “Is that enough time for you two?”

“Not really,” she answered, blithely resting a hand on Deeks’ back. “But we’ll make do.”

***

A/N: No, I know nothing about incendiary devices. And yes, I am warping investigation procedures to suit my needs.

[theonethatyaks93]

Happy Holidays!!

Here's a little one-shot I did just in time for Christmas! I have a link to AO3 if you want to read it there but I'll post it here as well, in case you want to read it that way:

Brain could not fathom what had gotten him to this point. He was struggling to comprehend why he had decided that today, of all days in the year, he’d chosen to admit to Pinky about his personal feelings towards him. It was Christmas, a time for cheer, for good tidings. He couldn’t bare to face rejection today, especially since he’d given up concocting a world domination scheme in favor for…what he supposed was an elaborate confession.

But he couldn’t say it aloud. Not in the slightest. That would require weeks upon weeks of careful planning for Brain to even come close to verbally communicating with his partner in an adequate style. So, he decided to show rather than tell. Which wasn’t his forte in the slightest. He prided himself on his extensive vocabulary, his desire to inform all around him. Yet when it came to talking with Pinky about his non-platonic thoughts, his mind went blank and dry. He supposed a physical gesture would suffice perfectly fine.

The megalomaniac opened the unlocked caged door, a slight waiver in each step he took, his body trembling ever so slightly. The Christmas lights strung all about were calming, but his nerves were high.  This would either go extremely well, or... it could signal the end to their friendship. Permanently.

He sighed quietly when he saw Pinky happily dancing with tinsel, finishing the last of the decorating. He seemed to not have a care in the world, his pretty pleasant humming sending shivers down Brain’s spine. He took a deep breath, swallowed heavily, and approached his companion, the blush already forming on his face.

“Pinky, come here now.” Brain tried to sound irritated, but it just sounded like he was unsure and skittish.

This wasn’t going to go well.

 The taller mouse gladly set down his tinsel and sauntered over to where Brain was standing, a large grin on his face. “Poit! Hi, Brain! Need somethin’ for your plan thingy? I was just decorating, but I can totally stop and help you!”

Brain rubbed the back of his paw, biting his lip as the words he was trying to say left him. “No, I’m not executing a plan tonight, as bizarre as that sounds, but I appreciate your consideration for assisting me.”

“Oh, alright! Troz! So then, what did you want to tell me Brain?” Pinky clapped eagerly. “Ooh, is it a surprise? Or do I have something in my teeth again. I hate it when that happens!”

“Your teeth are…fine.” Brain reeled the conversation back to where he was initially leading it, mostly so the lingering pink in his cheeks could hopefully dissipate. “I just wanted to show you something…important…yes…very important.”

Why was talking to Pinky so hard today?

Pinky’s eyes widened. Brain could tell his friend was interested in whatever he had prepared and that allowed him to feel somewhat reassured. Maybe this ordeal would go better than he expected.

“Oh, what is it, Brain? Narf! Another super-duper sweet Christmas gift to go with all the other ones you got me? You didn’t have to!”

“You could say that.” Brain felt his stomach churn a little “Think of it as another Christmas present for yourself to add onto your expansive collection.”

Now that he so carelessly phrased his little profession as a gift for Pinky, he could comprehend that his companion’s expectations were raised. The what-if questions popped into his head about the possible scenarios that would occur, some were optimistic, but most were damaging to a catastrophic degree.

“Brain!” The lanky mouse pulled him into a tight embrace, squeezing all the oxygen out from inside him. “Thank you, thank you! I owe ya one!”

Brain wheezed in Pinky’s crushing hold, attempting to move his arms to free himself, but to no avail.

“Pinky…can’t…breathe…stop.”

“Sorry!” Pinky let him go, a sympathetic and embarrassed look on his face. “Sometimes I don’t know me own strength. Troz! Anywhosies, where is this gift for me?”

“It’s a…well…it’s a surprise sort of thing…so I think it would be most beneficial to…” He stopped dead in his tracks when he glanced at Pinky’s soft blue eyes so full of a bright hope. Brain felt the temperature rise around him, the words he was attempting to say catching in his throat. He was extremely uneasy, though he quickly realized that he needed to show Pinky, or his chance would slip away.

Granted, he probably would get an ample number of opportunities in the future, but he’d already pushed these emotions away for far too long. Now or never, he supposed.

Being briefly lost in his stuttering, the shorter mouse finally found his coherent speech again after what seemed like an eternity. “…to close your eyes and just let me guide you to what I want to show you, Pinky. Can you do that?”

“Of course I can close my eyes, silly! I do that to sleep!” Pinky patted Brain’s head gently. “I’m dumb, but I’m not that dumb! Zort!”

“That’s debatable.” Brain retorted with an eyeroll.

“Close your eyes. No peeking.”

Pinky followed Brain’s order with ease, even covering his face with one of his paws to go a bit further. Even that, however, couldn’t restrain his incessant giggling.

Brain fidgeted in his spot, not really confident on where to go next. He looked at Pinky’s other paw, his breath hitching as he reached out to hold it. His blush deepened when he heard Pinky make a shocked gasp as their hands met. “Are you comfortable, Pinky? I’m not holding anything too hard, right?”

“Absolutely, Brain! Nothing to worry about here! Your hand is very soft!”

The mouse sighed and began pulling Pinky along behind him, trying his best to avoid all obstacles in their path. Luckily, it wasn’t far to Brain’s…what he supposed was a gift. At least from Pinky’s perspective.

He only glanced at Pinky once while they walked hand-in-hand (mostly because he didn’t want to see his partner’s endearing face), but as soon as he saw his friend, his anger increased when he caught a tiny glimpse of Pinky’s eyes through his fingers.

“Pinky! I said no peeking! Why can toast follow instructions better than you?”

“M’sorry Brain.” He immediately covered his face again, a sheepish grin ever present on his lips. “I just couldn’t help myself. Poit! I promise I won’t look again.”

Brain groaned but continued to guide his companion to a more secluded area of the room. His heartrate drastically increased, and he could feel sweat forming on his forehead. What he was about to do was extremely risky. It could change everything.

It wasn’t going to work. Pinky would certainly reject these “advances.”

He positioned his partner to where they were standing face-to-face. Brain hastily let go of Pinky’s paw, still not entirely being used to this more intimate handholding. He brushed himself off before the moment of truth, where things were likely going to be altered considerably.

Brain inhaled deeply and suppressed his worries to his best ability. “You can open your eyes now.”

Pinky gladly obliged, removing his hand from his face and opening his blue eyes. He began looking around, a slight bit of confusion lingering in his expression. Brain felt his chest sink a little.

“Brain, I don’t see anything.” Pinky scratched his head for a second before his face lit up. “Did you get me air for Christmas? Troz! Oh, thank you, that’s so thoughtful! I can use it to breathe and…”

“No, Pinky.” Brain covered his companion’s mouth before he could say anything else, though he admitted to being relieved that Pinky’s initial uncertainty had not been as a result to what he actually had planned. He gestured upward, holding his breath as he did so.

Here we go.

A tiny green plant with white berries hung down from a pole, swaying gently in the light breeze that chilled the lab. Brain felt extremely lightheaded as he finally revealed his stab at a confession. But he felt himself almost pass out when he noticed Pinky’s face change from joy to one of…even more confusion? What?

“Uhm, Brain. How’s a plant going to help me breathe? You aren’t making sense. Is everything okay in that big ol’ head of yours?” He rested a paw on Brain’s shoulder.

Great, now he’d have to basically spell everything out for him. Just perfect.

Brain sighed, letting the last string of dignity he had left go and fully allowing a dark red blush to invade his face. “You are mistaken, Pinky. This plant doesn’t aid in breathing. Rather it’s…it’s…mistletoe.” He had to face away from his partner to avoid the awkward conversation that was about to unfold.

His attention was grabbed once again when he heard a quiet squeak from the mouse standing behind him. It was so unusual to hear something so primitive come from his companion. Brain turned around to see Pinky, who looked positively bewildered, eyes widened.

“What did you say, Brain?”

It was his shocked tone. Usually, Pinky would inanely ask Brain to repeat a part of his plan for global conquest, but he would sound optimistic. Pinky was anything from jovial now; rather he was almost quiet.

Brain nervously rubbed his paws together. He wasn’t exactly sure whether Pinky’s reaction was good or bad. “It’s mistletoe, Pinky. Y’know, that Christmas tradition...some people do.” He trailed off as he lost any motivation to keep talking, especially after seeing Pinky’s glance towards him.

He looked so lost, even a little anxious. What was he thinking?

“Brain, I-”

“No, no. Let me finish.” He interrupted his partner, trying his best not to shake like an idiot. “Listen, I’ve been having these…feelings for you as of recently. When it started, how long it’s been going on, I have no reasonable idea. I couldn’t just tell you these personal thoughts. I don’t think I would’ve been able to execute it expertly. So, since it’s Christmas, I decided to…well uhm…show you with this.”

“Hmm-”

Brain silenced him again, but this time, it was by him pressing his lips against Pinky’s. He closed his eyes, doing his best to sink into the kiss like it was the only time he could ever make a move. He heard Pinky elicit a soft gasp, causing him to fall back to reality.

What was he doing?

Brain tore away from Pinky, his heart racing, and his mind spiraling. He’d made a huge mistake; he’d lost something else that he could never get back. He blinked back the tears forming in his eyes as he tried to salvage what little he had left of their relationship. “Pinky, I-I’m sorry for doing that. It was impulsive of me, and I’ve made a grave fault with your emotions. I’ll just leave now for your…”

“Do it again.”

He turned to face his friend, voice fading to only a discreet murmur at what he’d just heard.

“Pardon?”

“Do it again, Brain.”

Oh. Oh.

He couldn’t have meant…that. Could he?

Just to clarify, Brain spoke up, using all his willpower not to make assumptions. “As in what…”

“Can you kiss me again, Brain.” Pinky cut him off abruptly.

This wasn’t a joke. He really wanted this.

Brain felt his ears pin back, his eyes widen in elation. He could only stare at Pinky and his gentle features, how calm yet excited he appeared and the soft smile he always held on to. Brain moved towards him, ready to accept his partner’s request.

“Y-yes, I suppose we could…repeat my previous action if you so desire to.”

And with that, the megalomaniac held Pinky’s cheeks and pulled him into another kiss, only this time, Pinky kissed back. Their lips seemed to move in tandem. Brain let down his tough exterior for a moment and allowed himself to moan against Pinky’s mouth. Pinky’s arms wrapped around Brain’s waist, pulling the two even closer together than before. Brain moved one paw from Pinky’s cheek to his chest, as he began to stroke his mildly unkept fur. He could also feel Pinky’s heart beating against his palm, loud and quick yet tender. He heard Pinky sigh once before he leaned into Brain more, deepening their kiss.

Almost a little too deep.

Pinky leaned so far, that Brain felt his legs give out, sending both mice tumbling to the ground, ending their kiss abruptly. Pinky burst out in hysterics, giggling as he pulled Brain to his feet, but not before planting a tiny peck on Brain’s nose. For once, Brain didn’t even mind that Pinky had caused him light pain. He was still recovering from their kiss. Both of them, to be precise.

“So, I’m guessing that you appreciated my little gesture.” Brain felt his cheeks burn red, though he appreciated his ability to mildly flirt with Pinky.

“I loved it, Brain! Narf! Why didn’t you show me sooner? I would’ve kissed you even then!” Pinky pulled the shorter mouse into a side hug, nuzzling his head.

Brain felt like he would melt where he stood. Pinky reciprocated his affections. And best of all, he still wasn’t done with his “surprise.” He planned out a phase two, specifically if Pinky had returned his feelings.

“Pinky, I don’t suppose you’d want to…”

“Kiss again and again? Yes, yes yes!!” Pinky cheered. He quickly pulled Brain into another embrace, locking their lips together in a swift manner. Brain felt himself swoon a little before his arms found their way to Pinky’s waist. When they parted for air, Brain closed the space again.

To add to his plan, Brain tugged at Pinky’s back, guiding them to below another conveniently placed mistletoe. Pinky briefly parted and glanced above them. He blinked once, before letting out an excited squeal.

“Brain! There’s another one!” Pinky looked behind the shorter mouse, seeing a line of mistletoes on string, sort of like a path. “And there’s another one! And another! Zort! Wow! There are so many!”

Brain chuckled, satisfied with Pinky’s reaction to his setup. He grabbed Pinky’s shoulders, their noses pressing together. “Are you pondering what I’m pondering?” Brain said, in a seductive whisper.

Pinky flushed, a pleasant smile accenting his features. He moved his paws to Brain’s cheeks before responding. “I think so, Brain. But are we reeeeeallly going to kiss under every single one of these mistletoes? Seems like a lot, doesn’t it?”

Brain could tell Pinky didn’t really mean it by his goofy, lovestruck expression, and his half-lidded eyes that conveyed flirtation rather than outright uncertainty. His hold on Pinky increased in vigor. “Your assertions are correct, dearest Pinky. Just follow my lead, and we can both enjoy this Christmas tradition.”

“Sure thing, Brain.”

This time, Pinky made the first move, instigating this kiss in a gingerly fashion. Brain instantly felt his mind turn to mush as Pinky’s cloud-like lips pressed against his, and even though it was their fourth kiss, he still felt a weird bubbly sensation invading his chest. How was Pinky so good at kissing?

They separated for breath, with Brain pulling Pinky beneath another mistletoe. Their lips met again, only this time, they didn’t immediately move to another plant. They kissed a few times, Brain feeling Pinky’s quiet moans and sighs against his mouth. This was going better than he could’ve ever hoped for.

It became almost kind of a dance. They’d kiss, pull apart, and move on to stand beneath another mistletoe. At first, they simply just strolled in a daze, remaining close to one another. But quite quickly, Pinky introduced mild twirls and back and forth swaying before they’d return to each other, and their lips would meet again.  

Brain was enjoying this far more than he expected. The push and pull of their “dancing” was invigorating and enjoyable.  As he and Pinky traveled down his mistletoe path, his cheeks were a dark red and he felt invincible as Pinky literally swept him off his feet.

“Oh, Brain! I could do this forever and ever! Troz! You’re such a great kisser and dancer!”

Brain was almost far too lost on his own romantic thoughts to respond, “Thank you Pinky, for everything. Especially your consideration of my emotional needs. But the thrills aren’t finished just yet.” He held his partner by the waist, placing a soft kiss on his neck. “Just one more kiss and then we’ll have reached the crescendo to my surprise for you.”

Pinky purred dreamily. “I’d like that very much, Brain. And I’m very excited.”

Standing under the final mistletoe on the path, Pinky and Brain kissed once more, the most deep one by far. When it ended, they both were huffing messes.

“Ooh, that was incredible! Poit!” Pinky said breathlessly. “Please say we’re not done.”

Brain chuckled, reaching down to grab Pinky’s paw and interlace their fingers. “We are not. There’s one last thing I did that I hope you will enjoy.”

Pinky beamed, squeezing Brain’s hand as the pink-eyed mouse led him to a wide-open space. He gasped at what he saw.

“Oh. My. Naaaaaaaaarf!”

The entire area had dozens upon dozens of mistletoes hanging from poles. Most had glittery bows that seemed to sparkle in the faint light. Pinky dashed to the middle of the mistletoes, turning around to see all the pretty plants. He was awestruck.

“It’s beautiful Brain! You did this all for me? So we could kiss as much as we want?”

Brain walked over to Pinky, nodding bashfully as he attempted to conceal the pink tints on his face. “I guess you could say that. I truthfully thought that you would reject my advances and you’d never get to see this. But it appears that I was mistaken.”

Pinky pulled Brain closer to him, resting his head on top of Brain’s. “Why would I say no? This is the bestest thing anyone’s ever done for me. Troz! I’m so happy!”

“I’m glad you liked what I made.” Brain felt relieved that his companion was so grateful for what he did. “I don’t suppose that since we’re surrounded by this mistletoe, we could…oof!”

Brain was cut short by Pinky tackling him to the ground. While he was a little peeved at the abrupt contact with the floor, his initial distaste was stifled when Pinky’s lips pressed against his own. He closed his eyes as he sank into the kiss, his paws finding their way to his partner’s back. His body grew very warm when Pinky gently touched his cheeks before he began stroking his ears. Brain felt his heart skip a beat when he heard Pinky moan softly; it sounded, dare he say it, adorable. He deepened their kiss, sensing Pinky’s head angling back to allow him to do so. Despite the fact that Pinky was larger than him, Brain felt comfortable that all of Pinky’s weight was on him.

When they parted, Brain closed the space between their mouths almost instantly. The entire world seemed to stand still as they kissed. He didn’t even bother noticing any of his surroundings. All that mattered to him was ensuring that this kiss be satisfactory for Pinky.

Somehow, Brain found himself sitting on the taller mouse’s chest, meaning they had been rolling around during their little kissing session. Pinky giggled at the sight, ruffling the fur on Brain’s head playfully before he forcibly grabbed Brain’s back and pulled him into another kiss.

Time passed, it could have been seconds, minutes, or hours. Brain didn’t pay attention. He was utterly transfixed by the stunning mouse that was kissing him passionately, making him feel so lucky that he’d taken the chance to confess. But still. Something wasn’t adding up right.

Why was Pinky so adamant about them kissing?

As if he’d read his mind, Pinky pulled away, looking at Brain with so much adoration in his sky-blue gaze. “Does this mean we’re a couple, Brain?”

“What?”

“I mean, we’ve done all the fun couple-y things I see on T.V. Troz! We kissed, we daaaanced. Oh, and we hugged, and you bop me on the head, and we sleep together. Egad, we’re just like those old-timey sitcom couples!”

A dawning realization hit Brain. Did Pinky truly have feelings for him, too? And how long had he had them? Years it seemed. He didn’t know how to respond initially.

Brain’s ears pinned back as he pondered, finally reaching a decent conclusion. “Yes, Pinky. I believe that due to these circumstances we’ve found ourselves in, I sense that we may have a non-platonic relationship currently.”

“What does that mean?”

He rolled his eyes. “What it means is, yes. It seems we are indeed a…couple.”

Pinky’s smile grew bigger, and tears of joy ran down his face. “Does this mean we can smooch whenever? Not just under the mistletoe? Narf!”

Goodness his face was red.

“I-I suppose so.” Brain was going to faint.

“Brain! We’re a couple! Oh, and we can kiss whenever we…”

The megalomaniac placed a finger on Pinky’s lips, silencing him. When he removed his finger, he wasted no time and began kissing Pinky, continuing their mistletoe-induced affection anew.

After a few minutes of nothing but their lips pressing together, they parted, both mice gasping for air. Brain got off Pinky’s chest, pulling his friend to his feet with a light tug. He heavily disliked ending their intimacy but it was getting a little late.

“Pinky, can you be so kind as to prepare dinner for the both of us? I’m quite famished after…all of that.” Brain gently combed his fingers through Pinky’s chest fur, doing his best to persuade his companion.

“Righty-o, Brain! I’ll make the food pellets just how you like them, aaaaaaand I might add a little somthin’ special just for you! Zort!”

Brain gave Pinky a quick nuzzle. “Do what you must. Don’t take too long though. We have things to do later.”

Pinky gave the shorter mouse a little salute, before kissing Brain’s cheek as the two departed. He skipped away, only to turn around once.

“Can we come back to the mistletoes after dinner?”

Brain pretended to be annoyed, but he was secretly pleased. “Perhaps, if you’re well behaved. I mean, I said we have things to later.”

“Love things?”

“I-I suppose...uh…maybe. You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Pinky celebrated. “Yay! Alright, food will be ready in five, darling! Poit!” His pace increased drastically until he disappeared from Brain’s vision.

Though Brain could hear Pinky “whispering” to himself as he ran.

“Brain kissed me! Narf! Brain kissed me!”

The shock from what had just unfolded rushed to Brain’s cranium, causing him to collapse onto his knees. He couldn’t even believe that Pinky was also interested in him, romantically. And they’d essentially made out. For a good thirty minutes. The logical part of his mind told him it was preposterous, unlike his usual mindset.

Yet, he felt riveted, stimulated even, at the prospect of Pinky and him becoming a couple. It caused a feeling only akin to butterflies to occur within his stomach. His heartbeat was fast, his face a deep shade of red. Brain’s Christmas desire had come to pass.

Pinky reciprocated his emotions. It blew him away at just the mere thought of the matter.

As he just sat in his hazy thoughts, Brain couldn’t help but feel slightly enthusiastic about the possibility of them kissing again. Specifically, underneath the mistletoe. It was a thrill unlike any other.

Honestly, he couldn’t care less that it made him seem vulnerable, of a weaker standing.

Finally, being allowed to start a relationship with the mouse he…tolerated most was all he could think about.

And Brain fully admitted, it was going to be a wonderful new chapter in his life.

[nocturnasnadderaneas]

let’s jump off that post actually! i’ve seen a few people mention a couple times over the years that the dragons in httyd domesticated or chose to domesticate themselves, which is very flawed in my opinion. and i think this is a product of thinking the dragons are just, “really smart animals, guys!” instead of sapient beings who consciously chose to partner up, be friendly, or be neutral with vikings or a specific viking for the benefits it brought to both of their species.

there’s an episode of riders of berk that i remember seeing over a decade ago now, but in that episode astrid has to tame a monstrous nightmare in order to escape from alvin with the book of dragons. she tries to do hiccup’s approach, by being gentle, but the monstrous nightmare, having already mishandled by humans and caged up, wasn’t having it. they ended up fighting, and she had to calm him down by paralyzing him with a maneuver—think hiccup in the ring in httyd 1—but during the entire thing he was actively listening to her.

before and during the time they were fighting astrid gave no verbal indication that she wasn’t there to harm him—she couldn’t or jig would be up—but after she calms down and they’re both chill, astrid says, “lets get us out of here,” and he understands the assignment immediately, and while he did flee after astrid punched him to create a distraction—she apologized to him before she did it!—i fully believe that’s the reason he came back for her at the end when alvin held her over the cliff; she said they were going to get out of here together! they can’t do that if he leaves her behind!

so if you really wanted to cling to the just an animal route, the closest thing the dragons could be described as is tamed, since they tolerate humans—sometimes—tolerate being ridden and listen to their directions—sometimes—and aren’t “unruly”—most of the time. i don’t quite like that though, because maybe i’m crazy or whatever, but to me what i just mentioned before, and other taming scenes in shown in the franchise, aren’t exactly taming. to me, those are conscious team-ups.

listen. let’s say i placed my palm against the nose of a sand wraith right now and ‘tamed’ them; i’m not sure i would see that as taming. i’d see it more of the beginning of a possible friendship, because watching anyone tame a dragon in the httyd franchise has always looked to me like a non-verbal version of, “oh hey, we’re chill now!”

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Cop (Harris, 1988)

Given how textureless and calibrated for mass appeal so many of Hollywood’s current movie stars are, it kinda rocks that somebody like James Woods could headline movies back in the day, someone who had no superficially appealing qualities beyond a certain reptilian magnetism and a knack for rendering profane dialogue dancerly with his delivery. You could say that Michael Douglas fit in the same category, but I think there’s an aspirational quality to the Douglas persona. Sure, he was a piece of shit, but he was also banging Sharon Stone and making millions of dollars at the same time. Nobody aspires to be James Woods. Nobody wakes up and says “I wanna grow a vagina in my chest” or “I wanna be sweaty and coked out and deeply unpleasant to everyone around me”. If you’re reading this, I’m referring to your characters, Mr. Woods. Please don’t sue. Also, can you please call up S. Craig Zahler and get him to put you in a movie? Anyway, as a screen presence, he was the epitome of scumbag swagger, a quality this movie makes the most of.

When I’d last watched this, I’d considered it a decent movie with a great Woods performance in the middle. Revisiting it, I suppose that’s still true, but I’m more receptive these days to a movie built around an electric central performance. James B. Harris’ direction is somewhere between perfunctory and sturdy, which lets Woods’ verbal gymnastics pop all the more. The sleaze emanating from Woods pollutes the seemingly conventional movie around him. Woods does a lot of the same shit that happens in every other cop movie, but instead of cheering him on, Harris’s direction observes, the lack of editorializing letting you grasp pretty quickly that what he’s doing is maybe not good. To paraphrase Letterboxd user Kai Perrignon’s astute review, the fact that this doesn’t fully hang together as an investigative thriller is maybe the point, as it becomes a document of Woods’ profound shittiness. Now on paper this is a much more respectable affair, but the infamous ending leaves you with the same unsettled, punch to the stomach quality you get with the sleazier Bronson Cannon joints.

***SPOILERS BELOW***

I think the one weak point in the movie is the Lesley Ann Warren character. Warren plays a feminist bookstore proprietor (in that she owns a feminist bookstore and happens to be a feminist herself, so the label is true however you read it), who in her first scene with Woods falls for his charms after momentary resistance and ends up going to bed with him the same night, instead of, I dunno, busting out the pepper spray. Jokes aside, Warren is good in the role, and I think there might have been a way to handle this arc without truncating it so obviously. I suppose between her and the killer being a sensitive male feminist carrying out misogynist serial murders, there’s something potentially satirical here, even if it isn’t really pulled off onscreen. But I think any peripheral weaknesses become non-issues given how much Woods dominates the movie.

[bonesandthebees]

Sandduo vol. 1 aka neither of them know what’s going on and that’s not good.

[“Wilbur, good, you’re here,” He said, his blue cloak brushing his calves as he walked. “Have you finished your studies for today?”] 1. He calls him Wilbur where he calls him just Wil later in the evening, the setting there is more informal / familial. 2. The first thing Phil does is check if Wilbur has finished his studies. This tells you exactly how much pressure there is to do well and how important appearance is. Phil has priorities.

Also, Wilbur so proving himself very useful during this conversation even if he might not realise it. He’s able to provide info on both Niki and Quackity. This is useful because 1. It tells Phil everyone in the palace knows about it. 2. It tells him what everyone thinks it is, aka the announcement. And 3. Wilbur is able to get info on both Niki and Quackity even though he’s clearly loyal to Niki. That’s very important. And yes Quackity was trying to get info out of him, but there’s also a level of trust there.

[Another beat passed. Wilbur’s eyes widened. / “Did… Did you not know?” / The muscles in his father’s jaw twitched, and that was answer enough.] love the disbelief in this. Anyway, it!s great the Phil and Wilbur can read each other so we’ll, they are also very good at non-verbal communication, which allows them to communicate in front of everyone’s noses without anyway one noticing (and if they do, they won’t know what it’s about). They do it at the dinner, but I’ll get to that.

[“You’re going to try and find out what it is beforehand anyway, aren’t you?” Wilbur asked.] so this piece of conversation and everyone surrounding it tells us everything we need to know about their dynamic and characters. Phil formulates a careful plan, but he doesn’t have the patience or impulse control to stick to it because he wants to know what it is or why. He does mostly stick to the plan though.

It also tells us Wilbur knows his father well enough to call out his bullshit immediately BUT [Phil stopped dead in his tracks. Wilbur stiffened when his father’s eyes met his own, until he let out a soft snort letting him know he wasn’t upset.] Wilbur is terrified of angering his father by calling it out at the wrong time (or at all) even though Phil thinks it’s fine [“Fucking obviously,” Phil scoffed. “Who do you think I am?”]. I’m not even sure if Phil noticed that Wilbur stiffened and if he does he doesn’t comment on it and maybe cracks a joke to get rid of that tension.

And then there’s the fact that Wilbur believes his father to be the most powerful man in the kingdom. This could be that naive glorification of his father, but it could also be very true. It can be both, Phil is in a very powerful position after all. As long as he has Sam’s trust he is the most powerful man. In the prequel Wilbur says Phil told him that Sam wasn’t a very good ruler at first. This means he obviously relied a lot on Phil in the early days, so Phil probably wants to keep that level of trust, but Sam is also getting older and starting to make more decision without Phil’s consul (which is dumb, you should always talk big decision through with someone).

Lastly, there’s [“I want to say no, but I’m not sure,” he answered, not lifting his gaze.] Phil was right, it’s not the announcement. So he does know Sam would not make that without him (though technically he could still name Tommy his heir, but I think it’s more a case of Tommy is now the age Quackity was when he came to the palace, so now Sam has him come over. Also, Phil is very worried about it actually being that announcement, because if Sam made that decision and did not tell him he’s in trouble. (A might also know a bit more about where Sam’s decision is leaning which he’s very much not telling Wilbur about, and Wilbur knows something is up.)

(3/?)

-🌲

so far in rose phil alternates between 'wilbur/wil/willum' depending on the tone of what he's trying to say to wilbur. 'wil' is the most casual and personal one, the way he'd refer to him when they're either talking about something lighthearted or he's trying to appeal to their closeness as father and son. basically anytime they're not talking about serious stuff he'll default to wil. wilbur is the more standard one phil will use if he's being more of a dad to wilbur, trying to get him to listen or is talking about a more serious matter. and then willum is the full name, so phil only uses that when he's either pissed at wilbur, giving him a very serious order, or the discussion is very important

without wilbur even fully realizing it, phil has trained him already to be so good at getting information out of people who trust him. phil can't entirely take credit for this because wilbur is just good with people naturally, but he definitely encouraged that and is very happy with the information wilbur provides to him in that moment

idk how this is for people with two parents, but at least in my experience when you're an only child with a single parent the two of you usually know each other very well. I can understand the most incoherent shit my mom says, and I can read her expressions and body language really well. I imagine phil and wilbur's relationship in this to be a bit like that, with the two being able to read each other like open books. this is a huge advantage the two of them have.

phil is great at forming plans, but he is also very good at risk assessment and deciding whether an impulse decision is worth it or not. like, he'll make impulse decisions to change his plans last minute, but he 100% thinks about it first and weighs the pros and cons in his head. he wants to know what's going on so he's going to find out as soon as he can.

yeah, if you pay attention to wilbur's reactions to phil you really start to understand the nuances of their dynamic. it's going to be such a fun thing to reveal more of as the story goes on. but yes, the fear was there when wilbur called out phil's bullshit, but phil reacted well. and yes, he noticed wilbur stiffening and wanted to reassure him he was fine for saying that.

you guys know how I love my biased limited POVs and rose is no exception. is phil actually the most powerful man in the kingdom? probably, but there are limits to his power. there's definitely glorification going on, but not as much as you might think. or maybe it's more than you think. it's up to reader interpretation for a reason.

sam relied on phil so much in the beginning of his reign, and truthfully he still relies on phil way more than he lets on. but sam doesn't want to rely on phil for everything, hence why he's starting to act on his own. yet you can already see that the decisions he makes without phil aren't... the smartest. there's a reason sam needed phil and still does.

if sam was making the announcement without consulting phil, something would be very fucking wrong. like, phil might've been blindsided by sam not telling him about the heir thing, but he knows sam. he's known sam for decades at this point. he wouldn't go that far. (probably) (maybe) (whose judgement can even be trusted anymore?)

[mincedpeaches]

rvb19 post

So I’m writing this post without looking at a single other person’s post about the season so my thoughts may solidify more after this and even change a little bit, because a lot of times people are better at putting into words and meta my own thoughts that I’m not as good at articulating. But at the immediate aftermath. I’m like. It’s fine? I suppose? And I think I will sour more on it over time. Maybe even by the end of this post. I definitely would not call it good. The best way I can describe it was:

It was a collection of scenes.

And you might say, what? For years Red vs Blue was a collection of scenes, the show was broken up into five minutes episode chunks! And I would say yes, but also it was masterful in that those episodes felt like they were woven well into a complete story too. This felt like it had story beats that it wanted to hit in the script (Tucker!Meta, Sarge Dies, Tex and Carolina in cool (“cool”) fight scene) and did it without regard to character. Except the Grimmons scene after Sarge died and Wash/Doc bit. Which I’ll get to later.

The info dumps were odd, it felt like the first ten minutes clearly wanted to remind us of some things (in case we forgot I guess), but took other things at face value (479er+freelancer cameos for example). If you think about the plot for more than five minutes I think breaks apart easily (why did the Reds+Caboose end up at bases again after Chorus, why/how did Tucker leave with all the AI, why did Epsilon leave messages for the reds and blues instead of CAROLINA)

Also going back to story beats w/r/t to character, I think it also really failed to expand on anything that the previous seasons had laid down. It’s always been a tall order after the character arcs of Chorus, but the bits where the Reds didn’t help Caboose and then did after re-consideration felt like going through the motions at this point. So it definitely wasn’t a funny gag, and since they’ve done that SO many times before it almost felt cruel to have the Reds refuse to help at first. The conclusion at the end of series, wasn’t really informed by anything done HERE. In this movie. I mentioned in my liveblog I was having trouble articulating this, and I still am. I’m kind of hoping someone will put this into words better than me.

Tucker!Meta might as well have been a completely different guy for how much it informed the story. There was the one bit where he lets Caboose get away, that’s it. Otherwise he had a COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS evil laugh and mannerisms for NO REASON and it sucked. If this was supposed to contrast with Tucker for angst reasons it didn’t work. Meta’s entire thing was he was huge, threatening, non-verbal, and was mentally unsound from so many AI. WHY would having all the AIs coalesce into this mustache twirling thing.  I liked the scene where the AIs are piloting the ship and they’re all talking while Tucker is groggy. THAT was suitably creepy and threatening. I could not take Meta!Tucker seriously most of the time.

And then since they had so many guys gone by the campfire scene (Tucker trapped as the villain, Donut not there with no explanation ever, Lopez missing after his first scene(where did he go?), Epsilon dead (still), Sarge dead (newly), Carolina not there with no explanation, Wash not there with no explanation, AND not to mention different Caboose voice actor) the reminiscing felt a little hollow.  Its like a metaphor for the state of Rooster Teeth when they were working on this lmao. Same with the scene when Grif and Simmons go to confront Tucker!Meta, it felt kind of hollow with just the two guys. That worked a tiny bit better because it was supposed to be sadder, but then the save in the form of Carolina & Tex wasn’t as character driven either. Remember scenes like the season 8 Meta fight, the Season 10 rescue of Carolina, or the final shot of Season 13. The entire team come to together, not just for the cool action scene, but as character conviction (Sarge’s speech, choosing to help Carolina, choosing to help the people of Chorus).

Okay this is already getting a little long and ramble-y and its getting VERY late right now. Let’s take it a step back and bullet point the Pros and Cons.

BAD:

NO DONUT. Why was Donut not there. If he couldn’t be there for voice actor scheduling reasons, why wasn’t his character acknowledged in a way that was good and respectful and made sense at all. First it’s the gay angels now it’s the gay simulation troopers. I can’t win.

GRIMMONS SEPARATION. FUCK. ESPECIALLY after I was cock teased with the “come with me”. God.

Wheres the fucking post. The found family FUCKING post. Hold on I'm reblogging it before I post this. To be linked here.

Carolina was done dirty in terms of getting no screen time and her character beat(ish) deferring to making Wash feel better. Man. I really thought she was gonna be involved here. This was a CHORUS follow up.

The action was soooo whatever. Budget who. But this wasn’t really BAD bad. It was just like. Sure this is there and happening I guess. I was never one for the action in rvb though.

OKAY:

Wash angst was good, had a throughline, BUT it was at the expense of not having him interact with the Reds and Blues and also Carolina should have got some of that. Getting serious flashbacks to Seasons 9 & 10 where Carolina was shafted in this department as well.

There were a number of jokes that I laughed at. You may think that this is a given for rvb but remember we last came off rvb zero. Also the teaser that had humor that was really off. So I am happy that there were jokes that I could laugh at.

Sarge death scene was good, especially in a vacuum. I think it would have struck better if the buildup and stakes had been better (collection of scenes….) but it was still good.( <- This may be the emotions talking. TBD.)

The scene where they go back to bury Sarge at Blood Gulch. VERY GOOD. I think the best scene in the whole thing. THIS, more than the last scene of the entire series, felt like the goodbye to Red vs Blue. Then when Simmons offers to discharge Grif? Ten out of ten. Acting was happening here. Grimmons acting.

Tex showed up! Fun surprise. Feel like she could have been utilized better though (more character moments less action)

It’s past midnight and I can’t think of any more things... but there may be more. Time to sleep on this. And reblog posts.

I will stand by my summary though: It was a collection of scenes.

[generalsmemories]

Hii not a request, more a ramble bevause im insane, but just came from a stressful college day (was asked if i wanted to go home so haha…obv.) and I’m so done and well maybe it seems like a request but I’m fr curious what jingy’d do like when you’re having a panic attack.

Specifically because I don’t want to be touched during one but I feel like the assumption will be that he’d just hug you and (even tho id probs want that but LIKE THATS ME ITS HIM YOU KNOW WHAG I MEAN AAAAA) like you know (do you?)

Okay sorry I’m a mess, so when I have panic attacks I go non-verbal. (I might be autistic) And like all i do is apologise and cry and hyperventilate and id love a hug but hate it at the aame time. And I feel like he’d know yk? That like if youre not into physical touch, he won’t touch. And if you are okay with it he will…. So hed ask and id nod? BUT THEN ALSO NO BECAUSE ID CRY EVEN MORE WHICH SUCKS AAAAA.

Or: i just want him yo be real and exist and hold me because im touch starved but I also dont because then hes real and I cant do anything and i cant talk and then its all fucked up because bad communication and haha mentally ill.

Sorry if this aint your tea i jusy feel its so normal bc all my friends havw this shit so we share the most insane stories and jokes yk?

Anyways much love <333

dear god anon i hope you took a nice rest when you got home from college- rememeber to put your health first before anything else! you can't flourish or give it your all if your body is ready to collapse any second.

I recently graduated earlier this year (around may) so i can totally understand the stress, but treat yourself well and i hope you got the very much needed rest. also don't be sorry, i get you and not wanting to be touched in such a vulnerable situation. well sorta anyway, i can perfectly initiate physical touch with others, but when others try it with me it's always a 50/50 chance that i will not even let them touch me or pull away after a few seconds HAHA (friends and family alike).

but as for how jing yuan would react i'm pretty sure he would notice pretty quick - he has quite a good eye for details after all! he pays close attention to everything around him, so picking up a few habits of some people would be a piece of cake for him. but if he's unsure i'm sure he would be the type to actually test the waters, if you're able to talk under such panic attacks he would softly ask and then just stay by your side as a presence if you were to confirm his suspicions!

if you weren't able to confirm or deny anything, i think he would try first. not go straight for a hug, but place a comforting hand and test the waters ya know? and if you were to first say yes then later say no he wouldn't question it - if anything if it stresses u out more after he would just placate you with the same :3 smile he sports.

BUT REMEMBER ANON FROM ME PERSONALLY!

don't put yourself down like that, battling mental illness is already a struggle in itself. you're already doing plenty enough by getting by each day! and judging by how you can still joke and talk about it with your friends, you already have close people who would probably stay by your side willingly to comfort you. you're not alone, but if you ever want to drop by again in the near future and ramble you're welcome to!

i would gladly chat with you again (و •̀ ᴗ•́ )و