#doesn’t have to be just s*xual to be grooming

[myobsessionsspace]

**T/W grooming in the music industry**

Johnny Kitagawa

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[jarisgoinginsane]

Thinking about how Riverdale is a show that is simultaneously gay and homophobic. It’s paradoxical, but it works. Hear me out. (I should also specify I’m ONLY talking about Riverdale not the Archie comics I love those and Riverdale is a disgrace in my eyes)

There are numerous cannon gay characters in the show (Kevin Keller, Tori and Cheryl, etc) who do get enough characterization to be more than just token gays, however the more the show goes on, the more they do feel like token gays to me. Every Kevin arc ever has something to do with him being gay, whether it’s nighttime jogging Grindr hookups or having one secret (or problematic. Or both) boyfriend after another. And it does move the plot forward in some way, but there’s never a Kevin characterization arc where it doesn’t have to do with him being gay. Especially as the show goes on. He starts as Betty’s gbf and then gets demoted to guy who makes funny gay jokes in the background of every scene. As for Tori and Cheryl, they’re done a little better than Kevin, as they were both influential to the plot and have characterization of their persons outside of being lesbians. Even after they get together, they do have some arcs of them dealing with things as a couple that don’t just revolve around them being gay (like that weird Julian doll thing). But as time goes on, it does feel like the show has forgotten about them as individual characters and just has them move forward as the token lesbian power couple. Now all of this is kind of subtle, but I also think what makes the show feel homophobic, or gay in a straight way, is how often they s*xualize everything. And like, they do it with the straight characters too, (this is a problem I have with the whole show) but there’s always an arc or an episode where one of the gay characters wants to do something that’s super inappropriate and needlessly s*xual, and the adults (remember all the characters are teenagers. Children. Might be played by adult actors but the characters are still children.) say they can’t do that because it is inappropriate, to which the teenagers say “YOU’RE INFRINGING ON MY RIGHT TO EXPRESS MYSELF” no honey they’re just following the law and don’t want you to get groomed. And they do it with straight characters sometimes too, like when Betty did that stripper dance for the serpents, but it’s mainly with the gay ones. Like when Kevin and all the other somewhat gay characters decide to make bank off of filming eachother tickling eachother when they’re shirtless . Or the episode where Kevin wanted to perform a song from Hedwig but the principal said no because it was too explicit for school. They always make the adults be the bad guys for “taking away freedom” or something but honestly they aren’t really wrong for protecting their children from inappropriately s*xualizing themselves.

And then we have the queerbaiting. It seems weird that a show so apparently unafraid of the gays would queerbait, but here we are. Which brings me to the main characters: Archie, Jughead, Betty, and Veronica. For most of the beginning of the show, the two main relationships are Betty/Jughead and Archie/Veronica. There is a lot of conflict revolving around whether Betty or Veronica will end up with Archie, and there is even some crumbs of Betty/Veronica together. These are literally crumbs, but they’re there. Like that one time they kissed in the first season. And that’s brought up in jokingly manner by the show, too. Like, when they’re playing Never Have I Ever, and Betty gets called a “dark horse” because she puts her finger down when asked “never have I ever kissed a girl”. But then there’s the possible pairing of Jughead and Archie. I wouldn’t be mad at this pairing, I think there’s something there, and the show does too, apparently. Because there’s constant jokes made about Jughead and Archie, by eachother, or other characters in the show. After Jughead joins Archie when he goes on the run, Jughead’s mom assumes they are dating because “she always knew there was something going on” between the two. When the four are camping together at Veronica’s family cabin, Archie and Jughead joke around saying, “you know, we’re the only two in this group who haven’t kissed eachother.” “Yeah, weird, right?”. They jokingly ask eachother to the spring fling dance, and Kevin says “let the fanfiction commence”. Who’s writing fanfiction about Archie and Jughead in universe? The writers know what they are doing. There’s even a montage somewhere of all the possible pairings within the main four, including Betty and Veronica, but not including Archie and Jughead. The cherry on top is that all of this could maybe be put off if the writers had said “no, they’re just friends, we really didn’t think they could be any more than that and that’s all there is to it.” But when asked about why they teased at Jughead/Archie so much without ever putting in the show during an interview, this is not what was said. Instead, the response was “Oh, we thought about it, but it would have been too hot for tv!”

What? “Too hot for tv?” You have multiple scenes of both guys and girls making out and more s*c scenes than I can count yet having the two main characters of your show kiss once is off the table. That’s where you draw the line. Yeah that’s weird. Everything about this show is weird, it’s a stupid, poorly written and horribly unrealistic show. But I do find it funny how it pulls off being both gay and homophobic.

Well this has certainly been something. I hope you enjoyed. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.

[pawjamas]

hey..i’ve been back from my stay at the residential facility for several days now and A lot happened, which i’m putting under a a readmore bc it’s potentially triggering (warning for mentions of s*xual abuse/gasl*ghting/etc) my life is basically being uprooted, so much happened in the month of June and is currently still happening, which i’ll explain below

i was admitted to the residential facility on June 9th, it seemed super promising, there was an abundance of 4-5 star reviews from patients online. my friend who currently is working in the mental health field researched about the facility and also confirmed that it seemed a lot better than most places are. the first day was kind of rough and i knew getting adjusted would be difficult but could never have expected what happened the following several days to happen. i made friends pretty quickly, my roommate on the first day there was very kind to me, she told me if i ever needed someone to talk to that she’d be there for me, we also shared the fact we were both nonbinary/just a lot of things we had in common so it was comforting to know her on the first day there.

i spoke to my psychiatrist the next day who told me i could get off “close observations” which is why i was in the room i was, the label is basically something you get put on if you’re at risk for s*lf h*rm/etc and need a staff member w/ you at all times. so since i was taken off of that i was switched to a different room with a different roommate. she was a 60 yr old woman who was in the other program offered at the facility (mine was mental health related and hers was for substance abuse/addiction) i didn’t feel too comfortable around her the first night, she complained about every single thing, she never participated in the groups offered at the facility, she told me over and over again how much she hated being here. the next few days were a blur and are still very fuzzy, my mind is still keeping all the memories locked away which has happened to me many times before w/ trauma where everything’s vague and not fully there.

basically, over the course i was roommates w/ this woman she groomed me and manipulated me into doing anything she wanted me to do for her, she physically/s*xually assaulted me multiple times, and caused my mental health to plummet even further than i thought was possible. i eventually did get to switch rooms, and i only recalled (again, vaguely) what happened those nights about a week later and reported it to the staff where half of them treated it like a joke. i went to the hospital the night i reported everything to get examined and ended up calling my mom on my friend’s phone (she drove to the hospital and stayed w/ me the whole time) and my mom was probably the worse to take my trauma/situation out of anyone. she told me i should’ve spoken up sooner, asked why i didn’t defend myself from this woman, basically the whole phone call was her blaming me for not doing anything about my assault. when i hung up my friend even told me that what she said wasn’t okay, and was victim-blaming.

i left the hospital and got back to the facility around 1:00 am, and the following days i spent there i was continuously getting worse because being in the environment my trauma had happened was preventing me from healing, plus i literally had to be in the same rooms as the person who had assaulted me and seeing her was extremely triggering. she continuously would call me crazy and delusional and that i made the entire thing up, i had difficulty telling what was real and what was not because of how bad i was treated by her and the staff. i’m thankful i met some really kind patients there that became my friends, they helped me the most out of anyone there. at one point a nurse had pulled me into a room and told me how i should never have spoken up about my abuse, how i should consider how it makes my abuser feel, and stop talking to the friends i made about it. but i’m glad i had people who would actually listen.

i mentioned it once but again, my mom was probably the worst person to talk to when all this was happening, at one point one evening when phones were available i called her and told her i needed to leave, i wanted to come home because this all of this was affecting me so badly, and she screamed over and over that i can’t come home and i have to stay, that it’s too bad that happened but continuing to do the program was more important. at that point i broke down and cried, begging her to let me come home and she screamed repeatedly for me to shut up and then hung up on me.

after that evening i knew that i wouldn’t be taking any shit from her any longer, i called my friend who lived nearby about her the following day or so, asked if i could stay with her at her apartment, which didn’t end up happening because we both worried my mom being as spiteful as she is would take legal action if i did leave w/ my friend instead of my mom. i ended up talking to a couple of the friends i made there that i was having bad intrusive thoughts, and that evening i was baker acted (involuntarily hospitalized) and transferred to another facility, which could’ve been because of the staff or me being reported for the thoughts i was having, but regardless i was away from my abuser and didn’t have to see her again.

the hospital i stayed at was...a lot worse than the other place, i barely got to speak to the psychiatrist/therapist during my entire time there, people would joke about how little time you got w/ them. they ended up keeping me there longer than the required 72 hrs, which i asked multiple people why and never got an answer, at one point my mom wanted to make sure i was sent back to the residential facility of which i had to explain would be detrimental to me and my health, but as usual when she had her mind set on something she won’t listen to reason or anyone who explains other (more beneficial) options.

i ended up calling my friend that lived back in the town i live in, told her the whole story and what’s been going on, and ultimately asked if i could move in with her because her and her family had already offered to let me. she was more than happy to have me move in, so that’s what i ended up planning on doing when i got discharged, was have her pick me up instead of my mom. and i called my mom to tell her that i’d be moving out, all the reasons why it’d be beneficial to us both, she took it horribly and told me if my friend picks me up i can never ever come home again and that i’m kicked out. i told her that’s fine, even though it hurt so badly when she said it.

finally, the following monday i was discharged, my friend from back home picked me up along w/ her husband, and we made sure to get all my things from the residential facility (my clothes/shampoo/makeup/etc) before heading back to her house, which was about an hour and a half drive home.

so now i’m staying w/ her, i still feel out of place and disoriented and uncomfortable but her and her family have been very welcoming. i’m trying to get all my stuff from my mom’s but it’s been a huge struggle to get anything from her because she loves to overcomplicate anything and then make it seem as if it’s all your doing and she’s the biggest, kindest saint ever to grace your life. my friends and i all think she has undiagnosed/untreated bipolar, and i definitely think she at least needs therapy and meds too but she doesn’t believe in either for herself. i just want my stuff back, and i do miss my room a lot and jazzy but there’s no way i’m getting either back, i’m also worried how my mom is treating jazzy because she hates him and i’ve witnessed first-hand what she’s done to him before.

i might post my p*ypal / v*nmo (censoring bc i think tumblr is weird abt posts that have these keywords or smth) because i don’t have any income rn...thank you if you read all this lmao i still didn’t even cover half of the other stuff i went through at the place i was baker acted but essentially my life has been turned upside down and i’m having to figure out how to keep going despite it all

[scarfacemarston]

I was thinking about Abigail cheerfully reminiscing with Uncle about her days as a working girl (specifically crushing a john's balls). I get the impression she didn't exactly hate her old job, or at least liked having her own money. (You can see how ashamed she is when she has to beg Arthur for money because she can't afford new clothes for Jack.) What's your take on Abigail's life before John?

Trigger warning for completely  undescribed in canon teenage s*xual conduct and being groomed/tricked into s*x work. Trigger warning for  some of the gang’s shaming of working girls.  Be warned.

Thanks for the anon ! I always love answering questions. So I’ve actually studied the history of sex work academically because of the game so I’ll draw a lot from that to try to explain my theories. It doesn’t make it gospel, of course.

That’s a good question and I have a LOT of problems with that conversation. It makes no sense at all. At the very least, Abigail has her math wrong. She quit her time as working girl when she joined the gang and became exclusive with John. This was a year plus before Jack was born. It’s simply impossible. The epilogue is full of mistakes and I firmly believe this is one of them.  Her going back to work in that fashion makes no sense. No one would have cared for Jack. Also she was 22 and a mother. That was considered “Used up” and people would have figured it out quickly. She would have struggled to have find clients and no one would have protected her. She’s not defenseless, but let’s be real here. She would have only been accepted into the lowest of the working girl hierarchy. More about that here.  She would have lost the gang money, not earned it. You had to fight for territory with alliances, money and sometimes violence. Again - no way could Abigail do that. Then there’s also the rent she’d have to pay for the night, the doctor exams, the law, secrecy issues, fights over her in and out of camp. Just not possible at all. She had a madam and or pimp before. If you didn’t, you’d end up exactly like Mrs. Downes.  For her background - rdr 1 goes into it a lot more than rdr 2. We learned almost nothing about her in rdr 2. Abigail was an orphan like much of the rest of the gang. She lived in an abusive orphanage and ran away at some point to live on the streets. We don’t know when she was brought to the orphanage or when she ran away from it. That’s all we know. In rdr 1, she is said to have been in the same orphanage as John and they ran away together. RDR 2 seems to have thrown that away. Could lead to some interesting fanfics.  People hate me saying this and I understand- but Abigail was a teenager when she got into sex work. I understand it’s uncomfortable. It is. I hate it. However, people need to realize that it is a part of her character. Absolutely under no reason should it ever be glamorized, but to erase that fact also erases an important fact of her life and an explanation for why she thinks and acts like she does. This was not her fault so bringing up her past to make fun of her is even shittier of people. Feel sorry for her.  If you don’t like her - fine, but have it be because of her behavior. Not her profession. I absolutely do not believe she was brought into this profession by her own choice. First of all, she was underage and if it was her choice - it would be for survival.. Two, according to surveys and interviews conducted with working girls of the period - only a very small percentage moved west hoping to become a working girl.  Historically speaking and based off of her own words - she started off as a “legit” entertainer. Singers and dancers even if they never slept with their crowd/ clients were viewed as being “immoral”, same with laundry workers and waitresses. No joke.   So, Abigail is implied to have been a singer or dancer. She talks about how much she loves singing and the attention she got from it. Someone- likely a maternal older woman who could promise her steady pay, a warm meal and bed, plus the chance at being famous could have easily coaxed Abigail into a singing “career” opportunity. Then, when Abigail was feeling secure and confident, switch up the tasks she would have to do. You can imagine how that went. One day you’re a singer hoping to be famous, weeks later, you’re a working girl.  I hate hate hate hate to say this, but she would have likely been around 16. 17 at the oldest based on the timeline.

If you weren’t a shopkeeper, teacher, or a house wife, you would have had been in an “Immoral” profession.  We don’t know when Uncle came to the gang. All we know is that he is the reason that Abigail is in the gang. Some conversations make it sound like Uncle was in the gang prior to Abigail whereas some conversations place Uncle and Abigail arriving at the same time. Both are creepy, but it’s how the story was written.  That audio clip surprised me because Abigail HATES her past as a working girl. I can only take it as there were the occasional funny moments even in such a shitty situation..   She explicitly says it so many times and sometimes, she’s to the point of tears. It’s heartbreaking. She just wants respect but whenever anyone is mad at her in either game - they throw out that she’s “just an uneducated whore”. She’s said this herself several times as well.  She’s very depressed and ashamed by it. I have said before that dresses very matronly She’s more covered up than Grimshaw or any of the other girls. Tilly is the second most covered up which is interesting. She’s also really wanting to go “legit” - or it could just be a preference. Please do not at all think that I’m shaming them for how they dress in the game.  As for Abigail, I think this is because she is one of the few confirmed working girls in the game and she so desperately wants to change and erase that era of her past. She wants to be the complete opposite of what she was and covering herself up completely is way to try and show that. She also brings it up in several camp conversations. Low Honor Arthur is viscous about it. Absolutely viscous. Micah talks about her being a former working girl, too in the most creepy of ways.

Honestly? The worst part by far is Grimshaw. Grimshaw seems to really hate Abigail and the feeling is likely mutual. Being a former madam, Grimshaw would have seen the crap that happened to Abigail all the time. You’d think Grimshaw would have sympathy for her - but nope. Grimshaw really disgusted me with how she tried to force Abigail back into prostitution and went as far as to threaten her with Dutch.  In the original draft of the game - all the girls were working girls so she tries to do the same with Karen, Tilly and Mary-Beth. It makes those “Get to work phrases” more disturbing. (Based on how Grimshaw goes about it. ) It’s also the same with how Grimshaw talks about how these girls are “just whores thinking above their station” or how Uncle says to “be nice because they are just two dollar whores who will die on their backs.” Horrifying content to be sure.

[melisbookreviews]

TW: Child abuse, Death, Grooming, Inc*st, P*dophilia, Self-harm, S*xual abuse, Statutory r*pe! 🦄🦄🦄 Everyone’s entitled to be the hero of their own story. So I must be permitted to be the hero of mine. Even though I’m not. I’m the villain. 🦄🦄🦄 Blurb in the comments! 🦄🦄🦄 The Maidens is a thriller and suspense novel by Alex Michaelides. I'm a huge fan of the Silent Patient so, I was looking forward to read this book and my excitement lead to me completing the book in a matter of hours. But, I have a few conflicting thouts. First of all, the book's a page turner. It keeps you on your toes as you move forward with the investigation and getting an adrenaline rush from a book is the best thing ever. The writing is great and the plot development in the beginning is WOW! However, the ending was a let down and while I'm partly feeling 'icky' (I don't know how else I can explain it) because of what happens, part of my mind's also going, 'wait, what?' It wasn't a bad ending, but somehow it doesn't make sense after everything that happened and my brain's just not willing to accept what happened! Also, given that it's a thriller, except for a couple of characters the others seem one-dimensional so when we reached the end it was a bit obvious 'who did it'. Overall, it was a fun read, but also more on the basic side and for me, it's good but over-hyped! 🦄🦄🦄 Rated 7/10 *Spoiler -skip if you want* I love that the author decided to have the Silent Patient and the Maidens in the same universe and that was made crystal clear when there's a small interaction. I'm interested to see how this will continue in future books. Melina L. #authors #newbookalert #bookreviewerwanted #bookreviewer #booklaunch #bookrelease #thriller #themaidens #authorsofinsta #published #suspense #bookcommunity #author #indieauthors #bookreview #authorsofinstagram #bookpromo #authorsofig #AlexMichaelides #authorsofinsta #authorlife #bookstagramindia #indianbookstagram #bookreviews #bookreview #thesilentpatient #hypedbooks #bestseller #bookblogger #goanbookblogger https://www.instagram.com/p/CS5v_JboqGL/?utm_medium=tumblr