#does this make any sense. i have a terrible headache but i was thinking and i needed to write it down somewhere

[moonstruckme]

hi mae!! may i get a poly marauders x reader where reader just completely becomes quiet and stuff around negatively raised voices? like if two of the others (not necessarily reader) are arguing and suddenly theyre arguing in raised voices and reader has grown up in that kinda household so she js makes herself absolutely scarce in fear of one of them snapping at her or smth? sorry if this is very specific or if its not something ur comfortable with lol have a great day :)

Thank you for requesting <3

cw: implied trauma around shouting/aggression

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

“You didn’t think to look for a sign?” 

“I didn’t see any sign.” 

“There was a sign less than ten feet away.” 

“Okay, I saw that one.” Sirius reaches up into your cupboard, shuffling things around until he gets to the sleeve of biscuits in the back. His attention is noticeably not on Remus. “I thought it was only for the spot it was posted in front of. They ought to make those things more clear.” 

“The rest of us always manage to interpret them fine.” There’s no bite you can find in Remus’ tone. He’s not standing stiffly, or crossing his arms. But deep in your chest, there’s a small coil of tension brought about by something in your boyfriend’s demeanor you can’t identify. It has you lingering at the edge of the room. You think Remus is more upset than he’s letting on. 

Sirius seems to sense this, too. “Oi, it’s nothing to get your knickers in a twist about. It’s being handled, isn’t it?” 

“It is being handled,” Remus says. He rubs his thumb into his temple. “I’m beginning to wonder how many times it’ll have to be handled before you learn how public parking works.” 

“I did think after three tickets we’d be done with it,” James jokes, oblivious to the rising tension. “Surely at some point the towing company must start giving us a discount.” 

Sirius pops a biscuit in his mouth. He folds his arms, speaking around it. “I’m taking care of it, alright? I’ll pay the ticket. I’ve already paid the towing company and gone to the lot to get the car back—which ate up a good chunk of my day, by the way, so I don’t really fancy coming home to be lectured about it.” 

“Sirius.” Remus sighs harshly, eyes closed as if this is all giving him a headache. “Do you really want me to feel bad for you about a mess you got yourself into?” 

“I just don’t see what’s left for you to be pissy about!” 

“Right, well, you’re not the one who’s going to have to go to court for it, are you? This is our fourth parking violation, and the car’s in my name. I’m going to have to use a sick day for it.” 

“Just let me go instead, then.” 

“That’s not how it works, Sirius.” 

You find yourself retreating from the room on silent feet, disappearing down the hall. 

“Would you stop saying my name like that? I can’t bloody well help what’s already happened. I’ve said I’m sorry, what else do you want me to do?”

“I’m not sure you have said that, actually.” 

“I’ve said I’ll go to court for you!” 

“Hold on,” James cuts in, “let’s just—” 

“Doesn’t sound quite like the same fucking thing, does it?” 

You shut the bedroom door with a soft click. It deadens the voices, though the sharp tones seem to pierce the wood. You push out a breath, forcing it around the tension in your chest. 

Everything is fine. Nothing truly bad is going to happen, not with these boys. You feel caught between pressing your ear to the door to hear every word and putting in your earbuds to drown it all out. 

It doesn’t take terribly long for the tones to soften into something safer. Not kind, exactly, but less jagged. James’ voice chimes in more often. You hear more sighs than scoffs. The feeling in your chest stays, primed. 

When Sirius comes to find you, you’re scrolling aimlessly on your laptop. 

“Hi,” he says, giving you a little smile as he slips in the door. 

You smile back. “Hi.” 

“It’s all clear out there, just so you know.” Sirius sits at the end of the bed, a gentleness in his features that makes you feel sheepish. “Safe to come back out if you want to.” 

“Are you okay?” you ask quietly. 

“We’re okay, baby.” 

“And you and Remus…” 

“He’s still a bit miffed with me,” he admits, “but we’re alright. I’m going to see if they’ll let me go to court for him since I was the one using the car.” 

You nod. The inside of your cheek finds its way between your molars. “I’m sorry you got a ticket,” you say. 

Sirius smiles, gray eyes soft with fondness. “Thanks, sweetness. It’s okay. It happens, you know?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Some could argue it might happen less if I was perhaps a bit more cautious.” 

Your lips quirk. “They could.” 

“But it’s all fine. Everything’s really alright, we’ve made up. Do you want to come have dinner?” 

“Oh.” You get up. “Yeah, sorry.” 

Sirius tsks. “What’re you sorry for?” 

“I didn’t mean to hide.” 

He hums, pulling you close to press his lips to the side of your head. “I don’t blame you,” he murmurs. 

James is stirring a pan of vegetables in the kitchen, his arm wound snug around Remus’ neck. They appear to be speaking quietly between kisses. When Sirius pulls out a chair for you at the table, James turns with a smile. 

“Hey, lovie.” His voice shines with affection. 

It’s not a scene you’ve always been used to after an argument. Smiles and a shared meal, all of you in the same room together without a sharp look exchanged. 

“Hi,” you say back, trying to smile in the same way. Your feet come up onto your seat, legs folding into a pretzel. 

Remus leans around James to see you better. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to drive you off.” 

“You didn’t drive me off,” you reply. You both know it’s a lie. Remus’ mouth slants sympathetically. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” you say, honestly. Sirius rubs your thigh like he’s going to make sure of it. “You?” 

Remus smiles softly. “I’m alright. Thanks, sweetheart.” 

“I think we should institute a new system.” The vegetables hiss as James pushes them around in the pan. “Whenever two of us are having a row, the other two get to vote on who’s right, and that’s the end of it.” 

“But,” you hesitate, “there’s four of us? What if it’s a split vote?” 

“Then that’ll be the least of our problems.” You can practically hear the eye roll Remus is holding back. “Taking sides would never work.” 

“Agreed,” says Sirius. “I vote that James doesn’t get to institute new systems.” 

“What?” James sulks. “You always take Remus’ side.” 

“Clearly not.” 

“Well, you always do when it’s against me!” 

“I’m going to leave again,” you joke, gratified when James instantly apologizes and Sirius puts his hands over your ears. 

“You heard her.” Remus smiles, dropping a light kiss to James’ hair. “No more bickering, you two. Honestly, I’ve no idea what possesses you. Can you believe them, dove?” 

“Nope,” you say, smiling. 

Sirius fixes you with a look. “I’m going to start bickering with you next if you’re not careful.” 

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for Mango Bat behind the cut; “a fake cryptid and a real romantic”. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

shines, Batman observes. kitten-ruby. Robin-nest.

Superboy blushes again, then grins sheepishly at him. Tim really wants to know what he’s hearing, because it cannot possibly be anything that he’s hearing. He doesn’t even know what he’s hearing, in fact, because he still needs to discourage the nesting thing, and also what do rubies have to do with anything? He’s having a very hard time figuring any of that out, though, because Superboy did in fact show up noticeably shinier than usual tonight, and it’s very–it’s distracting, alright? 

Actually, maybe the “kitten-ruby” thing is about the blushing, considering how brightly Superboy does it. 

Tim really needs it to be about the blushing, anyway, because if Superboy brought him another handmade gemstone worth more money than his entire house, he really is going to have to throw himself off a roof or thirteen about it, which he really just cannot do right now. 

“I swear I didn’t make anything on the outside shiny,” he promises the Batman, and Tim . . . pauses. 

. . . maybe just one roof, he thinks. 

“Shiiiiinyyyyy?” he asks warily, and Superboy blushes again. Normally it would be a lot harder to tell someone was blushing at night, even as lit-up as Gotham can get, but he really does blush that hard. The Batman twists his head around a few degrees or dimensions farther and also does something with his literal entire visual resonance that means Tim needs to stop looking at him before he gets a nosebleed inside his mask. Superboy doesn’t seem to notice anything happening. Or, well–

“Oh yeah, I did!” Superboy says cheerfully to the Batman. “Like you know, good surveillance and sniper perches and all? So I just scouted like I needed to do recon somewhere . . . no, it seemed kinda bright up there . . . yeah, that just felt, um, kinda too close to your–actually, do you even have one, that’s not a bat thing, right? . . . oh, yeah, makes sense. Cool!” 

Tim’s nose might be bleeding after all, but the headache is making it a little hard to tell. He didn’t actually hear anything himself, but the Batman has definitely been talking. He has no idea how Superboy is just, like, listening to that like it’s no big deal or anything. Superman definitely thinks it’s a big deal. So like . . . that’s weird, yeah. Super weird. 

. . . no pun intended. 

Tim is just gonna blame the headache for that one, yeah. Definitely he’s gonna blame the headache for that one. 

. . . . . . and maybe the potential nosebleed. That might also be a thing, if he actually is bleeding right now. 

“Could you please stop whatever you’re doing before my brain melts out of my freaking skull?” he mutters inside his mask without turning on the vocoder, so his voice doesn’t actually project out of it. It doesn’t matter, since Superboy doesn’t have super-hearing and the Batman can hear them inside their suits no matter what; the vocoders and all that are just for everyone not the Batman. “I can’t do Robin things with a melted brain. That’s not gonna work out for me.” 

Superboy’s already pretty brain-melting an experience, for one thing. Literal actual brain-melting is really not going to help him not embarrass himself here. Like not even slightly. He’s really just . . . not good at dating, honestly. Not even a little bit. He has no idea how he’s supposed to be good at dating when he has a melted brain and can’t even make a stupid nest. 

The Batman ignores him, because the Batman is the literal worst undying eldritch night terror of a weird neighbor. Tim glowers at him on principle. 

God, why does Superboy have such terrible taste in . . . uh, cryptids, technically. Just if Superboy had better taste, Tim wouldn’t have to be going on another date with him because Superboy would’ve thought better of all this after the first date and– 

It occurs to Tim that possibly it’s weird to be more nervous about the second date than he was the first one, but in his defense, he didn’t think Superboy was going to run around Gotham with him all night, watch him creeping around like a freak collecting evidence at three different crime scenes and also terrifying a crooked cop into rethinking all her terrible life choices and also tossing a pair of mob enforcers off the dock, meet Nightwing and the Batman at the same time, and then after all that actually ask him out again. 

Well, okay, he’d said “wanna hang out again next weekend?”, but he’d done that while making doe-eyes at Robin’s mask and blushing every five minutes and saying he was free all weekend, which clearly means he’d cleared his schedule again, and he just showed up for tonight all shiny, so like . . . this is definitely a date, yeah, and Tim definitely is not prepared for it. 

He’d spent so long trying to get the stupid nest to work that he hadn’t ever actually figured out if there was something he could bring Superboy for this, because like, obviously Robin cannot show up with flowers or chocolates or what the frick ever, and Tim Drake definitely cannot, like . . . make telekinetic diamonds or peel pieces of himself off to twist into a protective sigil manifesting as a net or like . . . just anything requiring either superpowers, magic, or whatever potential combination of the two. Like, he’s not Jason. 

And more importantly, he also kind of, like, doesn’t even know what Superboy’s really into? Because the guy talks a lot, but on their first date he mostly just talked about, like, superhero stuff–which, obviously, they were literally on patrol the whole time, what else would he have been talking about?–and the first time they met was pretty much just “hi I kidnapped a cat burglar for you and have been actively stalking you and also made you a literally flawless fifty-carat diamond with my superpowers; wanna go out about it?”

So like . . . yeah, Tim has not actually had too much of a chance to pick up too much about Superboy’s actual off-duty interests or anything like that. Like, aside from what he’s seen in interviews and stuff, which most reporters seem to spend talking more about Superman than Superboy and Tim can’t even assume are authentic anyway, given the whole teen idol superhero gig and all. 

He knew he should’ve done recon in Metropolis for this. At least Superman could’ve told him if Superboy likes chocolate, since “so like just wondering, Superman, is your half-your-physiological age but technically five month, four week, and one day-old clone more an orchids or a roses kind of guy, what do you think?” is not a question Tim is ever, ever going to ask. 

. . . actually, Superboy’s literally, like, two days out from being six months old, isn’t he. Should Tim get him something for being six months old? Is that a thing that Superboy would be into? Like, in theory? The guy hasn’t gotten to have a birthday yet, obviously, so like . . . maybe he’d think that was kinda cool? 

Or maybe he’d think Robin was a fucking weirdo tryhard who didn’t know how to human correctly. But like, to be fair, Tim isn’t all that great at human-ing without prep time. Like . . . he really, really needs to study for it, that’s all. 

Yeah, maybe he can just do his recon through direct observation tonight. 

“We go . . . now,” Tim hisses in Robin’s voice, mostly in self-defense at this point. The Batman is doing some weird things to the visual spectrum right now. And the auditory spectrum. Or maybe some other spectrum entirely; like just whatever long-shattered and ground-into-the-pavement one Tim’s life used to count as “normal” on. 

“Oh, yeah!” Superboy says, immediately zipping over to him with a delighted grin and beaming down at him all shiny and pretty and shiny. The electric city lights reflect sharply off his glasses and the brightly-polished studs and pins on his jacket and the moonlight glows softly on the leather of it and in his hair and across his face, and he looks eager and happy and excited and like he’s about to have the time of his life, and he’s looking at Tim like that. 

Tim would have an easier time dealing with the Batman-induced nosebleed, honestly. 

Jesus. Just . . . Jeeeeesus. He knows Superboy professionally looks good, obviously he knows that, he’s not an oblivious idiot who’s never seen the inside of his ex-girlfriend’s locker, but just literal actual JESUS. 

“Wanna ride, pretty bird?” Superboy asks, grinning wider as he gives him a flirty wink. Tim suffers. Extremely. 

“Robin . . . fly,” he says, and this time it is definitely in self-defense.

[echodr3ad]

Haii can I request John Doe, 007n7, and two time x reader (separate) where they all knew reader before being forsakened and how it would be seeing them again? ^_^

(Bonus points for John Doe angst where he completely forgets the reader😝)

no rush, take your time and thanks!!

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ ❝YOU LOOK FAMILIAR...❞

Pairings: John Doe, 1x1x1x1 and Two Time x gn reader.

Warnings: None

Authors Note: Yipee!! First Forsaken request hooray!! Thank you for feeding my hyperfixation I love you/p. I'm not sure if I did exactly what you wanted, but I hope you like it! (I tried my best!)

Two Time

✮ The two of you knew each other from the cult, being quite close. However, you had left a long time ago.

✮ They never hated you for that, they were more so dissapointed. But even after you left, they prayed to the Spawn for your safety (and perphaps that you would come back too).

✮ They were quite shocked to see that you had been forsakened aswell.

✮ Two Time has mixed feelings about you being here, they definitly wanted to see you again, but not like this.

✮ They felt like their prayers to the Spawn had been answered in some weird, twisted way. Not like they were complaining too much. Just goes to show how much the Spawn valued them.

✮ During rounds, Two Time is glued to your side the entire time, since in their words "It's safer to be in pairs".

✮ The only time they leave your side is to scout the area for items, and if they find any, they give them to you immediatly.

✮ There have been many occassions where they have tried to give you a medkit while being on 1 HP, it's quite ridiculous.

✮ They don't even think twice about attacking the killer or throwing themselves into danger to protect you, and they won't stop no matter how much you ask.

✮ Two Time often invites you to join them in their prayers to the Spawn. You don't have to pray yourself if you don't want to, they just want you to be by their side.

✮ If you ever bring up Azure in conversation, they will immediatly change the topic to something else.

✮ They don't want you to know what happened to Azure, they don't want you to stop trusting them. You're all they have now.

1x1x1x1

✮ You were a good friend of his before he was betrayed. You always kept him company no matter what. It was safe to say he had a crush on you.

✮ After they were betrayed, the two of you drifted apart.

✮ 1x felt a deep sense of dread when she first saw you in a round. She can't believe you, of all people would be stuck here.

✮ And he hated the look of fear you had whenever you looked at him, as if they two of you hadn't been friends once before.

✮ They hate everything, and they hate everyone.

✮ Yet she can't bring herself to hate you, no matter how much she tries. She loves you too much for that to happen.

✮ So everytime he's the killer, you'll end up being spared.

✮ They definitly can't bring themselves to kill you either. Just imagining it makes them feel indescribable guilt.

✮ 1x will always leave you for last, but she won't approach you after that. If you want to talk to her, you'll have to approach her yourself.

✮ He just wants to be by your side once again, you make him feel complete. Like maybe the world isn't so terrible after all.

✮ But she knows that's probably never gonna happen.

✮ One day, 1x may get the confidence to tell you how they truly feel. But that day definitly won't be soon.

John Doe

✮ John used to be your coworker. You two got along quite well, and he quickly fell in love with you.

✮ You had begun dating each other, and it was going quite well!

✮ That was, until he dissappeard.

✮ When John first saw you in a round. He had a had a terrible headache.

✮ He didn't know why, but you looked so familiar, everytime he saw you, he felt like he was just about to remember who you where or what you meant to him.

✮ Yet just as quickly as that feeling comes, it goes.

✮ And that frustrates him to no end.

✮ For the first couple of rounds where he's the killer, he'll make sure to finish you off first.

✮ But that doesn't make the pain go away, in fact, it makes it worse.

✮ The pounding in his head got so bad, he couldn't even focus on killing the rest of the survivors, much to their confusion.

✮ From then onward, he completely avoids you throughout the entire round.

✮ Until it's Last Man Standing and you're the only one left.

✮ He doesn't try to kill you, he simply observes you from afar.

✮ As if he's trying to piece together just who you are.

✮ Sometimes, he gets glimpses of his memories with you, but they only last a couple of seconds before they fade away once again.

✮ John can't comprehend why he feels so nostalgic whenever he sees you.

✮ He simply can't understand why you seem so familiar yet so unknown to him at the same time.

✮ It's better if you don't approach him, nothing good will come out of that.

[the-boring-distopia]

I love the Locked Tomb series, when the Third were introduced I was seriously thinking that the reason Ianthe was so thin and sick was prion disease. You know, from munching on people. This was one of my original headcanons, I honestly thought I was one step ahead the plot until the finale happened.

Even if it's not the case, I'm still curious how Third necromancers avoid getting it.

This is kind of a theory post but bare with me.

(cw: cannibalism, illness)

There is a prion disease called Kuru that spreads via cannibalism, especially by eating the brain. But there are other prion diseases that a person can get infected with and they spread by consumption of meat or coming into contact with an infected animal. In this post we assume that the most common of these diseases in the Locked Tomb universe would be Kuru, because of all that cannibalism, we can also assume that it can be inherited from the mother.

This would have heavy and fairly interesting social consequences on the Third:

There is not really a treatment. If you get it, you have it, forever - unless the necromancers found a solution in the last ten thousand years. But even if they did invent a cure, being a cavalier and having it is probably a career ender, because no necromancer would risk catching an illness that could destroy their brain on top of being physically weak and frail. That means that people who have it are most likely shunned or avoided, depending on how authorian Ida is the individuals might be restricted or marked in a database. It can be passed down from mother to child and the nine houses care a lot about health and genetics, it's not impossible that they might limit an individuals ability to have children if they are infected.

Prion diseases are difficult to keep track of because they have a long incubation period when the host does not experience any troubles, and then it's either long, consistent decay or instant critical condition. It's kind of like rabies in a sense that preventing it is the first line of defense. In a society where a large number of people regularly consume human tissues there are probably insane regulations. With necromancy almost being a religious ritual there is probably a body in the government that tracks cav-necro pairs and runs tests on them regularly to make sure they are healthy. Wanna go to space? Health check. You wish to join the royal guard? Health check. You just arrived from the sixth and hope to see the Idan library? You guessed it: quarantine and health check.

The main danger of prion diseases is mental decline, brain problems, memory loss, seizures and loss of motor control. Statistically a number of necromancers would get it despite the regulations, and they would experience Alzheimers like symptoms, insomnia, terrible headaches and their self-regulatory systems shutting down (no longer feeling hungry or tired because of brain damage). Human society has a terrible track record with mental illness, we did things to people in the past that are worse than death. How would a society like Ida deal with a crisis of their necromancers (and most likely their children) deteriorating into corpses? Would there be care homes? Institutions? Would they be declared a danger and "disposed of"? This would also make every necromancer from Ida suspicious to other houses where this kind of cannibalism is not common: they are a liability. Imagine the stress of being a necromancer from Ida and getting a terrible headache one morning, you feel groggy and slow, and instead of knowing this is one of those days you fear for your life because what if you somehow got infected? What if someone poisoned you? If you have political opponents, it's not even that far off. The government can probably accuse you of showing symptoms and remove you from the public eye, forever, if you speak up against them.

And as a last thing: with the risks listed, the whole thing is probably not worth it, unless Jod somehow gave them magical immunity against it. It would cost money, time, resources to test all these people when the simpler solution is just, not eating the flesh of other people? Hair and nails are probably fine, but flesh? No.

In conclusion, cannibalism is a perfect metafor for supressed lesbian yearning but from a technical standpoint it would be a pain in the ass.

[unhingedangstaddict]

The bucktommy mpreg brainrot is so real wtf. I never thought in a million years I'd write an mpreg fic and well,,,

Here's my latest wip

Tommy was sitting on the bathroom floor next to the toliet again, crying for no reason again. He was so sick of the spontaneous crying and worse he didn’t even know why he was crying. Tommy had cried after the break-up, but he’d mostly stopped after two-ish weeks. He was sick of feeling the way he’d felt all week- horrifically nauseous and tired no matter how much he slept.

Tommy was so caught up in his wallowing and his crying that he didn’t hear Lucy enter the house, didn’t notice her standing in the doorway to the ensuite. He only noticed her when she set a plastic bag from a drug store down at his feet.

Tommy sniffled and looked up at Lucy. “I’m starting to regret giving you a key.” He wiped the tears off his cheeks.

“Is it really so terrible having someone look out for you?” Lucy crossed her arms.

Tommy was quiet.

“Thought so.” Lucy nodded.

Tommy curiously reached for the bag and looked inside.

“First time ever for me, the women's version of something was cheaper than the mens version. It’s the exact same thing, just different colored packaging.” Lucy said nonchalantly.

Tommy hardly registered what Lucy was saying as he plucked the box out of the bag. A three pack of pregnancy tests. In an instant it felt like his world had been flipped on it’s axis.

There was no way this was actually happening, but if he was- if Lucy was right about this, it would make sense. The headaches, the fatigue, the random crying, the nausea and vomiting- morning sickness. Now that Tommy thought about it, it seemed like his sense of smell had maybe been heightened the last week or so too.

“If I’m way out of line here Tommy, just tell me, it’s fine. I’ll keep ‘em for next time I have a scare.” Lucy offered.

Tommy swallowed thickly. His mind and heart were racing. This couldn’t be happening.

“Tommy?” Lucy prompted.

“I don’t know.” Tommy said quietly. Clearly Lucy had been thinking about this at least since they were on the phone not that long ago. Her suggestion to drink something made even more sense now. Tommy couldn’t believe this was his life.

“What- what do you mean you don’t know?” Lucy asked.

“I never uh, I never got tested to see if I’m a carrier.” Tommy couldn't take his eyes off the box of pregnancy tests.

“You’re joking right?” Lucy sounded shocked or maybe even pissed.

Tommy shook his head.

“How could you be so irresponsible?” Lucy questioned. “You- I can’t believe you never got tested. I can understand not getting tested as a kid with your dad being the way he is but Tommy, you’re- you sleep with men! How could you not get tested?”

Tommy spoke with a monotone voice, head clearly elsewhere. “Parents never bothered. Then I was in denial about being gay and thought I could make myself fall in love with a woman. Then it didn’t matter because I was never serious enough to ditch condoms. Then it didn’t matter when I was serious enough to ditch condoms because I was almost exclusively the top and I was too old. The thought never even crossed my mind in all the time I was with Evan.”

“Oh my god Tommy.” Lucy mumbled.

“I know.” Tommy swallowed thickly. “I guess I have to take one of these now, huh?”

“I’d recommend all three, actually.” Lucy told him. “These things aren’t the most reliable, always a chance of false negatives or positives, so it’s best to take more than one test but if you take two and get two different results then you won’t feel any better or worse than you did before taking them, until you take another. So three at once.”

“Sounds like you know from experience.” Tommy looked up at Lucy.

“I’m a woman who does not exclusively sleep with other women.” Lucy shrugged.

Lucy left the bathroom so Tommy could take the tests, and as soon as he was finished he set them on the counter, opened the door for Lucy, started a timer, and sat back down on the floor again, not confident that he wasn’t going to throw up again at any moment.

Lucy came in and sat next to Tommy on the floor. Just by looking at him she could tell he wasn’t in the mood to talk and for the time being she knew everything she needed to know. Tommy hadn’t even thought about the possibility of this so Lucy was certain that Tommy had no idea what he’d want to do about it- if Tommy was pregnant it was undoubtedly Evan’s, and Tommy was scared and heartbroken right now. Instead of talking Lucy just took his hand and held onto it.

Three minutes felt like an eternity, and if it wasn’t for Lucy holding onto Tommy’s hand, he was sure he would’ve completely lost his grip on reality. He distantly heard the timer on his phone going off, followed by Lucy giving his hand a squeeze. Tommy stopped the timer. He couldn’t look at the tests. He couldn’t move. “Can you look?” He rasped.

“Of course.” Lucy said gently. She stood, not letting go of Tommy’s hand and looked at the tests on the counter. There were two visual tests and one digital test with a weeks along indicator.

The visual tests both showed plus signs, meaning the tests were positive.

The digital test read ‘Pregnant 3+’, meaning three or more weeks along.

“Luce?” Tommy’s grip on her hand tightened.

“Positive.” Lucy told him.

“All of them?” Tommy wondered.

“All three.” Lucy nodded.

Tommy nodded slowly. “Okay.” He whispered as tears stung his eyes and quickly began to fall.

Lucy squeezed Tommy’s hand and returned to her spot on the floor next to him.

Tommy pulled his knees to his chest, rested the arm that wasn’t holding Lucy’s hand on his knees, put his head down, and sobbed for so many reasons it felt like there wasn’t even a reason to be crying at all.

[tater-tots-thoughts]

Summary: You and Tom made a bet over who would be the first to break and touch or kiss the other, but when you have a panic attack mid-day, Tom is more than willing to be a loser just to help you.

Warnings: Panic attacks, swearing

Stupid idea, you think bitterly as you take your aggression out on your keyboard, typing a furious response to your coworker as a pounding headache behind your eyes nearly brings you to tears from staring at the screen for too long. Today you and Tom had the terrible idea of seeing who could last longer without touching the other, and quite honestly, you were prepared to deal with Tom’s gloating and smirk just about now. You wished for nothing more than his comfort as you struggled with your uncooperative superiors and boss. Today, there had been a huge website crash, and you were struggling to help get it up and running again before you lost major sales and shipments. You sighed as you sent your last email, confirming that you’d spoken to a big client and cleared up the issue, assuring them everything would be up and running shortly.

Sighing again, you stood up to stretch. This was the most stressed you’d felt in weeks, and Tom could sense it too. Sitting back down, you refocused and worked for several more hours before you heard Tom knock on your door.

“Come in,” you called hoarsely.

He walked in with a steaming cup of tea in hand and a small smile. He set it next to your computer.

“Milk and honey, just how you like it.”

You smiled at him, appreciating his small thoughtful gesture, though just looking at him made you feel like your emotions were about to boil over any second.

“Ready to give in yet, love?” he teased, smiling at you. He had no idea of your situation at work since you barely had time to even use the bathroom. He’d assumed locking yourself in your study would be a more effective way of refraining from him. Though now he could sense your mood—obviously stressed and exhausted. His smile faltered.

“Everything okay?” he asked slowly, concern in his eyes, hands clasped before him.

You shook your head, feeling the awful sting and knot in your throat as tears began to brim in your eyes.

“Whoa, whoa,” he said, hurrying over to your side, the bet now long forgotten as he fell to his knees by your chair and wrapped his arms around you.

You could barely breathe, let alone explain everything that had happened. All the anxiety, dread, and anger seemed to be controlling your body as it constricted your lungs. The world spun around you, but not in the slight swaying way it does when you’re a little dizzy—it was in a way that made you feel sick if you opened your eyes. You had no idea how long you sat there. The only thing you were trying to feel and focus on was Tom’s voice and his hands cradling your back and head as he rocked you gently.

When you opened your eyes again, the world wasn’t spinning. You were on the floor now, awkwardly but not uncomfortably cradled into Tom’s chest. He was still talking, coaxing and calming you from your attack, his hand stroking your hair comfortingly. After five or so minutes, you could feel your breath falling back to normal, though Tom held you as tightly as ever. You pulled away to wipe tears from under your eyes.

“Sorry,” you choked out.

“Hey, what did I say about that?” Tom said firmly. “Don’t apologize for things that make you upset. I mean, what even happened? Was it me? If it was me, I didn’t mean it, I swear. I am so sorry.”

You shook your head. “No, no, not you. Definitely not you. Just… work. The website crashed, and everything kind of went to hell.”

“Oh, hon,” he sympathized, pulling you close to place a kiss on your head.

You were now lying in bed. With the help of your team, the website was back up and running. All that needed to happen now was shipping to get the information, but that wasn’t your department, and so none of your concern.

“You lose, by the way,” you said, smiling teasingly.

“Mm?”

“You touched me first.”

“Oh, yeah, that,” Tom said nonchalantly. “I won’t hold you to the fifty bucks, though, ‘cause I guess you did kind of need my help.”

He chuckled along with you and poked you in the side. You giggled and pushed his hand away.

“I’d lose for you any day.”

You rolled your eyes and laughed. “You’re so corny.”

[maple-the-awesome]

He Becomes a Dad! || Part 1/2

PART 2

Pairing: Time, Four, Legend, Hyrule x Reader

Overview: Congratulations, you're new parents 🎉 Some of the Links are prepared. Others...might need a moment to gather themselves. But rest assured! At the end of the day, they're all going to get a handle on this whole dad thing. I'm a sucker for family tropes and there simply aren't enough out there for the Chain to quench my thirst, so here it is, I'm adding my contribution👍 Btw, there will be only two parts for this prompt since Wind will be excluded for obvious reasons. Baby making isn't a platonic activity🤷‍♀️

Zelda Masterlist 🩵Fandom Masterlist

You only brought the topic of children up to your husband once. It was at some point during the early half of your marriage and after a particularly lengthy day of enduring Malon’s well-meant pestering. Time, beside being caught slightly off guard, delivered a straightforward answer:

“It wouldn’t feel right bringing kids into this world, especially when I would hardly be home to help you rear them.”

Now, you can’t lie and say you weren’t at all disappointed by this answer, although you wouldn’t say you had the rug completely pulled from beneath you. You understood the true implications behind Time’s statement right away. It’s the same reason he took so long to let himself marry you. It’s not you nor a disgust towards children, but rather an unspoken fear of building a life where he’s too happy - one that could be ripped away from him at a moment’s notice as has seemed to be the case for his younger years.

Although his worries are needless, you never pushed against his boundaries because you could at least see the sense in his argument. Sure, the idea of having children did always appeal to you deep down, however between Time’s constant traveling and your hard work helping at Lon Lon Ranch, it would be difficult to squeeze a family into the schedule. There was no sense in forcing him into a commitment he wasn’t ready for nor one you weren’t in a  position to properly foster.

Twelve years of blissful marriage passed before your plans changed. The blame lies with those other heroes, too. One would think traveling alongside a group of unruly young boys would’ve made someone more certain of their decision to never again subject themselves to such a headache, yet it apparently had the opposite effect on your dear husband.

Discovering first hand how much pride he could feel towards a descendant was life-altering, to put it light. Twilight was living proof that somewhere along the line, Time does something right. Whatever kids he might have will grow up to have children of their own and so on…Not to mention Twilight isn’t a terrible outcome by any means. To raise someone with the possibility of them turning out like him and to do so with you of all people? Well, needless to say, it was settled rather quickly after that: Time wanted kids.

Call it baby-fever if you will, but he was suddenly rather eager about the concept he had once avoided like the plague. He brought it up through not-so-subtly hints at first, then when you outright asked him if he was being serious, he went on a slightly nervous spew about your home being too quiet and how he could officially retire from traveling to be home more and it’s really a shame that you have an extra bedroom just sitting around - You just had to kiss him to shut him up which eventually led to…other things. Let’s just say you both got started right away.

It took you twelve years to realize you did indeed want kids yet less than a year to actually be holding them for the first time. It turns out even the universe was impatiently waiting for you both to come to your senses, so once you finally had, it decided to award you with not one, but two beautiful girls whom you affectionately named Saria after Time’s old friend and Mallory, a mix between melody and Malon, their ever-so-excited godmother.  

It’s safe to say that the twins are pretty spoiled. Malon has been over almost everyday, bringing you plenty of baked goods as a bribe to let her spend more time with her favorite goddaughters and you have practically every baby related item that you could need, courtesy of the Queen of Hyrule herself, but of course, it’s their parents who love them the most.

Never in his wildest dreams did Time think it would be possible to feel so at peace with the life he’s built. For so many years, he feared true happiness was impossible - that every turn would result in the same cruel fate he had been subjected to during most of his existence - and yet for the last couple of nights, he’s held it in his arms. He’s watched the moon rise outside his window while playing soft lullabies on his ocarina, you cuddled by his side with your daughters shared between you both. You wear a small smile even in sleep and he swears the girls match it, too; he definitely does himself…This is a priceless treasure he’ll give his life to protect.

Four and you had already been married for a few years by the time you found out you’re pregnant. It’s not to say you were actively planning for it, although you also weren’t actively trying not to either. 

It had been agreed upon early in your relationship that kids would be nice should they come your way, therefore you were both equally excited that your wishes were finally being granted, so much so that the nursery was finished within the first month (courtesy of your handy husband). It’s painted in beautiful pastels that are easy on the eyes and decorated with many toys Four had hand-carved himself; a useful craft he’s now very appreciative towards Sky for teaching him.

Seeing as this was already a somewhat anticipated next step in your lives, Four’s pretty relaxed throughout the process despite its many challenges. For starters, pregnancy itself unfortunately isn't as much of a 'blessing' for you as some have made it sound. You’re rather sick from beginning to end. If it isn't your inability to keep food down (especially in the early stages) or your fluctuating blood pressure, then it’s the aching you constantly feel thanks to both your very heavy bump and extremely active baby who just loves to make sure you never forgot about their existence by kicking you as hard as possible day and night. 

Worry not. Four has made your struggles more bearable by being a darling husband through and through. He’s by your side during each doctor’s visit, does his own personal research on all things baby-related, and helps with every chore he can to give you at least some rest even if just for a quick nap, however most spectacularly, he does all of this without ever being too overbearing. 

Although certainly concerned for your health, Four can recognize your strength any day of the week, especially when you've been rolling with the punches like a warrior queen during such a draining pregnancy. Anxious, sure, but not afraid. Why would he be? He’s confident that you’re both prepared to face anything together! …That is, until you actually went into labor…

Yeah, remember that previously mentioned, relaxed and darling husband? Forget about him. Your water broke and so did Four's calm demeanor, but can he really be blamed? You went into labor early - and not just by a couple of days either. Oh no, we're talking a couple of weeks early. 

Regardless of his newfound fear, Four does his utmost best to still present himself as calm and collected in front of you, not wanting to freak you out any more than you’re already freaking out yourself. He first helped you lay down with plenty of pillows and cushions before running to get help. After that, he doesn’t leave your side, encouraging you throughout the process with a smile on his face, however don’t be fooled: the second you turn your head to the midwife’s voice or close your eyes to scream, your poor husband’s face reflects his inner thoughts as the situation fully begins to sink in. 'Scared shitless' - that's a good word to describe it; eyes wide in terror with a mouth that’s hung agape and slightly twisted in pain as your nails clawed into his hand.

As said, he never leaves your side - not even for a millisecond. You don’t have to worry about him being the type of guy to get grossed out by natural fluids or complain about your expressions of pain; none of that is remotely a concern of his. He’s just grateful to see you okay and even more so to hear his baby crying as they should.

A girl; small like her daddy, but healthy all things considered. Four couldn't wait to hold her, knowing damn well he was going to cry the second her soft skin touched his, but he isn’t ashamed of it in the slightest. Who wouldn’t cry holding something so precious?

Then you scream again. He thinks something must be wrong until the midwife announces that it isn’t over - that there are more squeezed in there waiting.

At the end of the day, you're just relieved to finally breathe easy without going through agonizing pain while Four, on the other hand, is left in shock staring at not one, not two, but three little babies, all healthy girls who wiggle and whimper in their parents' arms, but oh well. The nursery may have to be expanded, although there's plenty of love to go around. At least he can thank Hylia that it wasn’t quads (he's had enough of those).

Legend and you have been in a relationship for several years, although you had mutually agreed earlier on that neither of you were big fans of the whole 'marriage' thing. What difference would a ceremony and piece of paper make, anyway? You already act as any officially married couple would. You live together, go on dates, occasionally argue, and even share a bed which is exactly what resulted in a recent, unplanned detour in your lives: a baby.

When you first told Legend the news, he panicked, asking himself all those stupid questions like ‘what now’ and ‘how could this have happened’ even though he knew damn well how. Then he left. Giving some half-assed excuse about needing fresh air, he turned his back to you despite your pleas and didn’t return for hours. 

Now, rest assured, he did immediately regret having that reaction and apologized for it as soon as he came home. He didn’t mean to scare you with the thought of abandonment, but as he would quietly confess during his apology, the thought of being a parent had just been too overwhelming in the moment. Neither of you had ever talked about having kids, and while he could at least have some peace of mind knowing you’ll obviously be a great mom, he fears that the same won’t be applied to him.

You have always been the light in a dim room, as Legend would put it. You’re fun, sweet, and amazing with kids. Any child of yours, planned or not, will love you with all of their heart exactly as he does. Meanwhile he’s stubborn, cranky, and the last kid to cross his path literally started sobbing. Maybe it had to do with him being covered in monster blood after just having crawled out of a dungeon but he’s pretty sure he traumatized a kid nonetheless…The thought of being just as bad around any kid you share together scares the crap out of him.

Deep, deep down, Legend’s actually somewhat excited to be a father. Although he’s too stubborn to admit it to anyone other than you, he’ll sometimes daydream about how nice it would be to tell a little replica of you both about all his adventures or to teach them how to use some of the items he’s collected over the years like his trusty boomerang. Seeing the excitement in their eyes would definitely be worth listening to you scold him afterwards. If that’s all there was to being a father, Legend wouldn’t have a single concern, yet it’s his insecurities that always have a habit of souring things. Would his kid actually find his stories cool or would they just be tempted to throw the boomerang right at his head?

You’ve done your best to reassure him, often falling back on the argument that the baby will be a part of him. Like father, like son, right? Legend was almost ready to believe you, too, especially upon laying eyes on his child for the first time. As you passed the tiny bundle over to him, he thought that maybe being a dad wasn’t going to be that scary after all, and it might not be so bad to even have more someday either…However, his worries were quick to return when the baby started screaming two seconds after being set into his arms…

Baby screams if he holds him. Baby whimpers if he looks at him for too long. Sometimes, Legend swears the thing starts crying simply by hearing his voice in another room. It doesn’t happen with anyone else, though. The baby just adores you as predicted, but what Legend can’t stand is the fact that the baby seems to like Ravio, of all annoyances, over his own dad.

He’s forced to watch as the little brat happily lets Ravio cradle him, the sight filling him with bitter jealousy and sorrow. You’re convinced that he’s just overthinking everything - that he should give himself time to adjust to his new position as a father instead of holding himself to unrealistic standards, but how long is he exactly supposed to wait until it clicks? It’s been a whole month already and he still feels as confused as day one! Will he ever get the hang of this whole dad-thing or is he a lost cause…?

If there’s any comfort Legend can have, it’s that even Ravio doesn’t know what to do with the baby once he starts crying, so at least he’s not alone in that aspect. The only problem is you’re busy making lunch and stubbornly refuse to pause your efforts. Instead, you shove a bottle over to Legend, insisting that he be the one to feed his son since it should be a ‘good bonding exercise’ for them. You won’t take ‘no’ for an answer and judging on your glare when he tries to protest, you probably wouldn’t be happy if he tries passing the task onto Ravio either.

Thus, Legend is left to awkwardly sit down and take the baby into his arms. He already knows it’s obvious he has no idea what he’s doing, Ravio doesn’t have to point it out, but luckily after some swift around, he manages to hold his son more securely against his chest before shoving the bottle in his face. The baby continues to fuss while turning his head away from the bottle, and Legend’s almost tempted to call for you in defeat until at last, the room falls silent.

Looking down, he watches in quiet awe as his son accepts his meal eagerly. His little hands quickly rise up, gripping onto Legend’s which holds the bottle in place. They’re so tiny; barely able to wrap around a single finger - Oh, and his eyes as well! They’re wide as he stares up at his dad with unbroken eye contact. It’s like a wordless conversation - one more valuable than any he’s heard before.

You return, offering to take your son now that your work is done, but Legend is quick to shake his head. Why don’t you take a well-deserved break while he handles this little troublemaker? It would be a shame to bother him when he looks so comfortable in daddy’s arms.

You've been dating Hyrule for longer than either of you can really remember, however you aren’t in any big rush to get married, figuring that it would make no real difference in your commitment to each other. You love Hyrule and he loves you. What more is there to say? For a while there, you were both perfectly satisfied with simply taking things slow and letting fate decide your course, although more recently you’ve had to switch up that method to something more stable for the baby. Yes, a baby.

You wouldn’t necessarily call it a surprise, but you also can’t truthfully say it was planned either. You had agreed that kids might be nice if the goddesses ever blessed you with any in the future, however you weren’t exactly trying for them…You just weren’t being very careful…

Hyrule must admit he was rather nervous at the start. The only prior experience he really had around kids was with Wind, but there’s a pretty big difference between a young teen and newborn. Pair that with his not so ‘kid-friendly’ world and there’s plenty to worry over. Anything could happen, but Hyrule’s determined to be the best dad and partner he can.

First thing was first, of course: you needed a place to stay. Traveling is fun and you both enjoy being on the move, but that’s no life for a baby. Hyrule and you had actually already considered the idea of settling down someplace before, so you didn’t think of it as a massive loss to take off your adventure boots for a while. If anything, it was a welcomed change once you remembered how lovely it is to be able to kick your feet up for a rest or be surrounded by warmth during a terrible rainstorm.

Again, Hyrule takes his job as your partner very seriously which wasn’t ever a surprise to you. He found a small house for you both to rent in one of the safer villages around; a perfect place for raising a child. While he might not have a talent for decorating or making a place feel ‘homey’, he does thrive when it comes to making sure you’re comfortable, his spare rupees definitely going to fluffy wool blankets and a rickety rocking chair that he saw at a market.

Early on in the pregnancy, you noticed that your boyfriend also began showing a new found determination for cooking which did scare you a bit at first - Okay, so maybe a lot. Hyrule began taking cooking lessons from some kind elderly ladies in town who must have an endless pool of patience because while you can’t say every dish is a masterpiece (or even editable for that matter), you are happy to say Hyrule can now make things like toast and tomato soup successfully. It’s progress.

There aren’t a ton of doctors in your time and none in your village, so you have to take a lot of notes from local women regarding the process. Hearing all their stories and the possible ‘what if’s for what could go wrong made you anxious, especially once you finally go into labor, but it doesn’t faze Hyrule - not on the outside, anyway. He does an excellent job of swallowing his own fears for your peace of mind, talking you through each painful contraction and doing his best to distract you from it all until it comes time to start pushing.

Some people may get squeamish at the thought of childbirth, however Hyrule isn’t one of them. He’s fought through some terrifying dungeons and has bore witness to more than a few gory injuries over the years, so bodily fluids don’t bother him one bit. He’s kneeled down right in front of you without a second’s hesitation, multitasking between mentally reviewing what he’s been told to do and reassuring you even though he’s sure you don’t hear a word of it over your own screams.

One minute Hyrule’s encouraging you to keep pushing, the next he’s holding a small, crying baby in his arms. His movements after that feel almost automatic as he carefully cleans her off and just admires the fact that this baby - this tiny, precious gift of life is his. She’s yours and his and she’s beautiful despite having come into existence within such a broken world filled with more hardships than he could count…

Your tired voice brings him back to reality - asking if the baby you hear crying is okay. You clearly feel the same thing Hyrule does upon seeing your daughter for the first time, the two of you sitting side-by-side as you soak in this wonderful emotion. Hope...That’s what she represents. Hope for a brighter future...

[eldritch-spouse]

Kalymir and tactition reader? Sort of a brains and brawn situation?

[I enjoy this. "Big dumb villain and their smart assistant that's not paid enough"-core.]

He starts pacing around the table, always does, when something you say isn't to his liking.

" DON'T FUCK ME! "

Fortunately, you were hired to be the brains to his muscle, not to glaze his metaphorical balls.

" M'lord I'm fairly certain I couldn't even if I tired. " You eye him up and down, silently asking if he's done with his bitchfit. " Nonetheless, I believe this is no time to be aggressive. You'd do well to send scouts- "

" SCOUTS?! " He snarls at the top of his rather annoyingly large lungs. Some kind of battle axe flies over your head, decapitating baby hairs. You barely blink as it embeds itself into the wall behind you. " THIS IS BARELY A PROPER SETTLEMENT! I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS PIECE OF SHIT RESISTANCE POCKET- "

The King stomps forward on mighty talons, nearly swiping your pondering orb away as he gestures toward it with a fury of such might that it makes the muscles in his arms swell.

" LOOK AT THESE INSECTS! "

" Precisely. "

The demonlord looks as if his honest desire is to cut your back open and slurp the spinal cord out. Yet, in the midst of the anger constantly frying his nerve endings, is a tungsten carbide core of minimal intelligence that reminds him eviscerating you is a most terrible idea.

" EXPLAIN THEN, YOU MOUTHY CUNT. "

" I've been trying to do so this entire time. "

" THE FUCKING NERVE Y- "

" This resistance pocket- " You start, snapping your fingers repeatedly as if trying to garner a large dog's attention. " Is mixed and dangerous, m'lord. "

Although Kalymir is visibly fuming, he does listen.

You scroll through the field of view offered by the hidden summoned aid currently hiding in tall trees. It provides a top-down map feed of the location Kalymir's latest headache has been operating from. Currently, at least. People buzz from one side to another, not many in numbers but extremely well-organized and efficient, almost as if controlled by something.

" Notice there are more than just wrathful demons in the midst, this group employs humans and monsters, especially the less social of the bunch. The kind of monster you'd find hiding in darkened places, isolated but by no means uneducated. To gain the alliance of these monsters, one would need a surprising sense of- "

" I'M FUCKING SNOOZING HERE... "

Sometimes, you're the one that wants to maul him.

There's a tired sigh.

" Harmonious diversity equals no-no. "

Pause.

" I'M NOT A BABY, YOU SURFACE WHORE. "

" Putting that aside, I'm sure you've noticed by now, that they brandish weapons of ancient times. The very things that allowed the initial group to leave the Rings unscathed despite being hunted, not just in Wrath but in the territory of all the Lords you've made agreements with. "

" CELESTIAL WEAPONRY. " The warlord sneers, thoughtful.

" Yes. "

Kalymir shakes his head.

" YOU CAN'T TELL ME THEY'RE ALLIED TO ANGELS! MOST ARE DEMONS, YOU CAN'T BRIBE ANGELS INTO HANDING THEIR TOOLS OVER- " He slams both fists onto the worn and dented table, making your chair jump. " THEY'RE HARDLY EVEN SEEN. AND LIKE FUCKING HELL THESE PARASITES CAN KILL ONE! "

A smug smile tugs your lips. " But, my King, they don't need to be allied to angels to have those. "

Kalymir makes a rare effort to calm down, sharpened claws tapping at the same table. You can hear a heavy-tipped tail swing, the woosh mildly distracting.

" SPEAK! "

" The archives. "

You can hear the gears melting in his cranium.

" THE ARCHIVES... " He stands, mighty body straight as he beings putting two and two together. " THE ARCHIVES! "

You nod, arms crossing.

Not just any archives, the Royal Archives of Wrath, containing a litany of detailed instructions in old Infernal about how to dispatch different types of celestials. The same archives that guarded weapons of Eden stolen from perished angels, weapons that destroyed the limbs of the brave demons who managed to retrieve them, whose core names and sigils have been carved into the cases holding these artifacts. Those are the only celestial weapons left behind, as far as anyone knows. The type of material prize a lord of Wrath would die protecting.

" NO! " He barks once he realizes the first possibility that statement implies.

" Yes, my King. "

" NO ONE COULD HAVE BROKEN IN, YOU SNOT-BRAINED ANKLE BITER! "

Hm, that one's new.

He's right, no one could have broken in, he knows you know this, and the fact that you always seem one little step ahead of him is both infuriating to the King but also exciting.

" Correct. "

" THEN- "

" Who has access to the Royal Archives of Wrath? "

" I DO! I'M THE KING- "

" And who had access? "

As soon as you ask that, he falls eerily silent, pacing again, this time to the opposite display of weapons, subconsciously studying them as he thinks.

" IMPOSSIBLE. "

You recline on the chair, eyes closing. " Is it? "

" I BUTCHERED HIM! I HUMILIATED HIM. HIS VERY SKULL SITS ABOVE MY THRONE OF VICTORIES! "

" His offspring, my King. His descendants. " As far as you know, they were only juveniles when Kalymir murdered their father.

" ONE DIED IN THE CRUCIBLE... "

" The other...? "

Kalymir doesn't answer, he doesn't know. And neither did you, not until very recently.

You don't need to spell the implications out this time, he gets there on his own two synapses.

" YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. " The demonlord bristles, not because he finds the suggestion ridiculous, but likely because it's going to make things a lot more interesting.

" But I am. He can't show his face, it'd be too risky, but some dissenting demons still recognize and have followed him to the surface. He then seeks the help of monsters living in the margins of societies or straight up outside of them, safer options to utilize holy weapons. And not just that, these monsters muddle our understanding of the resistance's origins and goals, adding humans to the mix just makes it all more confusing. Many of the non-demonic members are likely under contractual obligation to do this too, I'd reckon. "

The King is silent.

" Think about it. You lost track of them a long time ago. This prince-to-be witnessed the death of his father, his brother, his mother has likely died of old age. He has nothing. Nothing but a sweltering desire to dethrone you. This is his doing. "

A cruel glint settles in your eyes, belying that there is room for your frigid coldness in the boiling Ring.

" Unfortunately, he must have been too young to properly absorb his father's teachings, because this is amateurish at best. A little bit of care and thought is all you need to nip his budding plans, m'lord. "

The King smiles, drags a hand down his face, chest heaving faster as a very thunderous bark of raucous laughter shakes the entire fortress. The clapping of meaty red hands accentuates how wolfishly delighted he is.

" YOU GLORIOUS, ROTTEN WENCH! HOW COULD I NOT HAVE SEEN THIS?! "

Yes, really, how did he not see this a mile away? He should have figured it out before you, you actually had to do research concerning the past ruler of Wrath.

Kalymir damn near sprints towards you, reaching over the table to grab you up by the collar of your outfit.

" LEAD ME TO HIM, STRATEGIST. TELL ME HOW TO GET MY HANDS ON THE WORTHLES TWERP. I WILL WEAR HIS BROTHER'S SKIN. "

" Of course, my King. I will lead you to victory as always. "

" GOOD. GOOD LITTLE HUMAN. "

You're dropped back down unceremoniously, feeling a creak in your hip but remaining composed. Kalymir is clearly getting overly excited over the whole deal, you can tell he'll be obsessing over it from now on.

" WE WILL MAKE A NEW CHANDELIER OF HIS BONES. "

Satisfied, there's a pep to the demonlord's step as he makes to leave, opening the great doors to his hall.

" AND ONCE THIS IS OVER, YOU- "

" YOU WILL SIT BESIDE ME AS QUEEN. "

[pomefioredove]

um um. the nbc boys with a reader thats smart and learns easily but has trouble keeping up with the school system(? for lack of better words). they get distracted and bored easily, forget about homework, doodle on their papers and stare out the window, etc. they get great test scores and do exceptionally well when they are interested in what they’re learning, but otherwise get burned out really quick. i don’t know much about your nbc but it seems like the system is pretty fast paced and doesn’t really leave room for mistakes! 🫶🫶 i love your designs for nbc so far. can already tell the readers gonna have a blast (and a migraine)

my first ever noble bell oc request... rubs my hands together evilly

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ no room for mistakes (noble bell college)

inspired by my AU

type of post: headcanons characters: rollo, original characters; pierrot, bou, phoenix, clodio additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

Rollo Flamme will arrange a precise time to study with you every day, whether you ask him or not. it's within his best interest that you succeed at Noble Bell (heavens forbid you're shipped off to a lesser, simpler arcane academy like that terrible Night Raven College), and so there will be no room for mistakes. this isn't something you should take for granted, either; Rollo is a very busy man, and to have an hour of his time for him to tutor you is a privilege. at least, that's what everyone else will tell you

to Rollo, this is nothing. he would make his whole weekend for you, if you asked. perhaps his whole life

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Pierrot Gregoire is probably the last person you should be going to for help. yes, he's exceptionally intelligent in the ways of history and literature, and yes, he could lecture you for hours longer than your actual professor does, but I doubt you would actually get anything but a headache out of it. he's a poet, not a tutor, and he has a tendency to talk himself in circles, go on tangents, anecdote about his personal life... yeah. it would take a special sort of mind to keep up with him, otherwise, you're probably better off trying to make sense of his unorganized class notes... which are just as full of doodles and daydreams as yours

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Bou de Neige is known for making harsh judgments about his peers... which are often accurate. and so he can tell, by the way you talk and articulate and express, that you're not a blithering idiot. you only lack the discipline that the typical Noble Bell College student has. and if it weren't for Rollo's faith in you, and his own damned pity, Bou would have been happy to let you fail...

...but he doesn't. he sits next to you in classes and pinches your arm when you're dozing off, or not paying attention to something important. he leers over you and corrects the mistakes on your homework before you turn it in. he begins carrying clean paper for you to doodle on, and insists it's nothing (it's so over for him)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Phoenix Bussiere is not what I would call a trustworthy tutor. he's not even a trustworthy student. oh, but don't think he wouldn't love to waste a few hours every week "helping you study" while he vandalizes 500 year old wood desks and falls asleep in the library. he's way too eager to volunteer. and how can you say no? his attention is highly valuable; the jealous glares of other students make that obvious. and perhaps you wouldn't have minded working alone, without anyone breathing down your neck... except he doesn't let you. he couldn't care less about the homework, but he'll ask you a thousand questions about yourself

...you can never quite tell if he actually cares, or if he's just passing the time

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

if you think Clodio LeFou would be the worst of the group, you'd be very wrong. is it chaotic? yes. but he'll teach you Latin while hanging upside down (and he's really quite good at it). he's managed to get by at Noble Bell without raising any eyebrows, after all, and his grades certainly reflect that. he'll act out your history lessons and critique your writing assignments like a professional. he'll make a puppet just to teach you math. it's unconventional, especially for Noble Bell, but it's much better than the dry lectures from your professors. you'll take what you can get

[heich0e]

[warning: while f!reader is not described with any specific physical characteristics, the child in this fic is described as having inherited all of Megumi’s attributes and none from reader! please read with that in mind, or pass over this fic if not <3]

Fushiguro Megumi is responsible.

He always has been, from a younger age than he ought to have needed to be. It's engrained in him now, as much a part of him as his own flesh and bone—if something falls within his scope of responsibility, he's always diligent about seeing it through.

Here's the thing about Megumi, though, the thing he doesn't even really know about himself: he's a perfectionist. Because of this, he doesn't like to be responsible for things—at least not things that he can't guarantee will be a success. Things that he knows he can execute perfectly.

But the road to hell is always paved with good intentions. Convictions, no matter how strongly-held, can accidentally falter.

Megumi has never wanted to be a father.

And maybe this all ties back to his unconscious need to do things perfectly. The pathological insistence he feels to do things all by himself, and do them right. He relies on his experience to achieve these things, and looking back on what little experience he has with fathers, he knows it's not enough—not sufficient—to properly prepare him for a similar undertaking.

And he's fine with that.

He's got enough on his hands anyway, first as a student putting himself through veterinary school, and then with the clinic he works at. The elderly vet he studied under, and who owned the clinic, retired just before Megumi turned 30, and having worked together for almost a decade—first as a part timer, then a tech, then an assistant, and finally a partner—the old man gave Megumi the option of buying the business and taking it on.

Always thought of ya like a son, the old man had said to him one evening after closing, having dragged Megumi to the izakaya down the road to get a drink. Megumi doesn't even really like drinking very much, especially when he was due back at the clinic at dawn, but he indulged the old man who ended up ruddy cheeked and tipsy about as quickly as Megumi expected, given past experience. The conversation had taken him by surprise when his mentor had announced his retirement. 'S only right I pass it on to you, if ya want it.

The offer made something uncomfortable squirm in Megumi's gut. His fear of change rearing its ugly head. His doubt that he was ready to take on such a huge responsibility. The uncomfortably foreignness of being called someone's son.

Just think about it, the old man slurred, immediately picking up on Megumi's hesitation. Yer still a young fella, Megumi, but ya won't be ferever. Gotta start thinkin' about yer future 'ventually. Settlin' down, findin' yourself a pretty girl, babies.

Ah, the future. Yet another thing Megumi hates, in all its unknowable infamy.

Megumi eventually helped the elderly vet into a taxi to get home, and then went back inside the izakaya to drown his sorrows—early shift be damned. His head was a mess, full of a terrible spiral of thoughts about his future that now looked so uncertain, and while the beer he was drinking certainly didn't help him make sense of them, he hoped, however briefly, it might help him to forget.

When Megumi woke the next morning to the alarm blaring from his cellphone, he had a splitting headache thanks to the beer and he was sleeping in the narrow entryway to his apartment with all his clothes (and his shoes) still on. But even in spite of all of that, and the smell of soap clinging to him that he didn't recognize, he felt lighter, somehow—surer about things.

The old man signed the business over to him a month later.

It's been four years since then, and while it hasn't been easy, Megumi's been taking responsibility just like he always has. He does what needs to be done to keep the lights on. He treats his staff well. He takes care of any animals that come through the clinic's door—no matter how dire, no matter how far gone, no matter how they get there.

Yuuji in particular takes advantage of this good nature—showing up frequently, sometimes even after all the other staff has gone home, with some woeful little creature he'd encountered. Sometimes it's a stray cat he'd been called at the fire station to help out of a tree, sometimes it's a dog that he'd found in the road on his drive home from work, or a little bird on the sidewalk. And he gives Megumi the same desperate look every time, the same beseeching eyes, and Megumi curses the fact that the two of them are the same when it comes to this particular responsibility—before letting him inside to examine the new patient.

It's pouring down rain one night, and Megumi has just sent everyone home for the day with a word of thanks for their hard work, when he thinks this very situation is about to repeat itself when he hears a frantic thump! thump! thump! against the glass of the clinic door. Megumi, in his office, pinches the bridge of his nose. He'd even turned the lights out in the lobby so that he could pretend he wasn't there. He knew Yuuji was on his way home from work based on the animated sticker he'd just sent him via text, before offering to pick up some beer and come over, but he hadn't replied—and certainly hadn't expected him to make it to the clinic so quickly.

Megumi sighs, pushing himself up from his desk and padding out in his slippers to the front of the clinic. It's dark out, and hard to see with no lights on in the lobby, but there's a little figure standing outside the rain-covered glass of the door. They appear to be trembling. Megumi pauses, confused, before fiddling with the lock and reaching over to flip on the light beside the door.

What he sees when the door slides open makes him freeze.

Before him is a little boy, no more than four or five, soaked through with rain and shivering in the cold. He has teary green eyes, black hair that's weighed down by the rain, and round, rosy cheeks. Megumi feels sick when he looks at him.

A mirror image of himself.

The man is so frightened that he doesn't even say anything, just stares in horror at the little boy trembling outside the door. Megumi's never heard of a ghost story like this, those were always Yuuji's thing, but that must be what this is. Some kind of spectral being who's shown up to—

A little hand reaches out and tugs on his pant leg.

"Please help me," the little boy says, his voice weak and thick with tears. "Mr. Vet, I need your help."

Megumi watches with wide eyes as the little boy opens his raincoat, revealing a small mass of fur tucked against his chest. A rabbit, Megumi surmises quickly, once he sees the ear; a bunny in fact, when taking into consideration its size. Megumi can't even tell if it's alive because the animal is so terribly still where it's cradled to the boys heart.

He feels another insistent tug at his pant leg, the boy's hand still firmly clutching it. He looks at the child, who seems more determined now, his tears still present but his gaze a little more resolute.

"So, can you help me?"

[cinnajun]

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: zb1's beige flags

a/n: i tried to make these as beige as possible … cause sometimes people say “beige flag “ and it’s just a blatant green/red flag LOL hope u enjoy :)

notes: yujin is included this time, but it’s absolutely 100% platonic because i didn’t think this inherently implies romance. so his is PLATONIC!!!!! VERY PLATONIC!!!! also i plagiarized some of these from tiktok, will share links at the end :)

wc | 1.5k

jiwoong’s beige flag is traveling with him. i feel like he travels like a father, so he’s waking you up at 2 in the morning for a flight that isn’t until 7 in the morning. he picks the cheaper parking lot that’s next to the airport and makes you take a shuttle when you could’ve just paid $3 extra to park in the airport parking lot. he goes to starbucks and only gets ice water so you can fill up your emptied bottles. he’s angry the entire time but he still manages to crack a terrible joke to the flight attendant. he panics while you wait for your bags at the baggage claim. he makes you wait in the huge line for the rental car shuttle (where you have to go through three rounds of it leaving and coming back before you can get on) rather than just getting an uber there “because it’s cheaper.” at least you arrive at your destination. godspeed soldier 🫡

zhang hao’s beige flag is that there is always something wrong with him. this man has never been at 100% in his entire life. he always has a headache, or his stomach hurts, or he’s tired, or his arm hurts, or his back hurts…the list goes on. even if you’re carrying extra strength advil, antacid tablets, and one of those little tissue packs, when one issue is resolved, something else begins. the worst part is, when you think everything is fine, you’ll point it out like “oh! you’re not complaining about anything!” and then he’ll give you a look, saying “oh i have a headache right now.” once he felt like he had something in his eye for 3 days straight, but no amount of washing it out or eye drops got rid of the feeling. if he’s not ill or in pain, he’s asleep. you wonder how he got as far as he did when he’s never felt completely okay ever in his life.

hanbin’s beige flag is that he’s entirely unaware when other people are flirting with him. he automatically assumes the best in everyone and he’s got tunnel vision for you, so the idea that anybody is flirting with him is outlandish. you could be standing right next to him, steam coming out of your ears while you force a smile, and he’ll be none the wiser as the person talking to him playfully punches him in the shoulder. on top of that, he’s even more shocked when you point it out to him—he’ll say, “babe, they were just being nice!” and then you have to explain that asking for his number so they can get to know him better is not just being nice. then he gets all offended when you call him dense as if he didn’t entirely miss the heart eyes he was just receiving.

matthew’s beige flag is the fact that he does not question anything. you could tell him that you got a new job and he’d go “oh, cool!” and never ask what exactly it was. your parents once told him that you were a really awful child assuming he’d want to hear more, and he said “makes sense” and never brought it up again. it gets even worse when he tells you things about other people, and when you inquire, he can’t give you any more info. he’ll say “oh, they got cheated on” and you ask who and he has no clue. and it’s not even like he’s uninterested, he just doesn’t think to inquire about anything, even if he’s curious. the idea barely even occurs to him. he didn’t even know where his mom worked when you first started dating, and you asking during your first meeting was the entire reason he found out. you’re considering calling him and telling him that you’re going to prison or something just to see if he even asks why.

taerae’s beige flag is that he cannot explain anything to you without giving you 5 minutes minimum of background information. sometimes it’s over the most mundane stuff too, like him searching for a specific item at the grocery store. he will explain how he had trouble parking before going in, and how he got distracted by the fruit section, and how he had to ask an attendant…all to let you know he didn’t find what he was looking for. once he spent 20 minutes explaining matthew’s life story to tell you a 2-minute long anecdote about how he ran away from a crab at the beach screaming. the worst part is that, whenever you’re on a long drive, he is telling you stories like this the entire time. but he gets mad at matthew every time he mentions the word “story” like YOU ARE A HYPOCRITE KIM TAERAE!!! 🙄

ricky’s beige flag is that he cannot get dressed without your input. you would think this man was a 3-year-old who’d never picked out his own clothes in his life. if you’re not with him, he will facetime you, and if you don’t answer, he will not get dressed until you call him back. this might be endearing except for the fact that, if he doesn’t like your input, he will tell you to pick something else, and ricky can be picky with what he wears. when you ask him why he can’t just pick himself, he says something along the lines of “if you don’t think i look good, then what’s the point.” he has been late to hanging out with you because you didn’t wake up early enough for him to comfortably get ready (with you on the phone). if you spend the night, he will WAKE YOU UP solely so he can get dressed. at least people have said they think he’s started dressing better since you two started dating 😭

gyuvin’s beige flag is the fact that he never hears anything you say. he isn’t ignoring you (although there was a period of time where you thought he was ignoring you), he literally just can’t hear you. one time you were hanging out, you fell in his backyard, and spent so long screaming his name that the neighbor came over and ring the doorbell to ask if you were all right. you have to repeat everything for him. sometimes you have to text him what you’re saying because he cannot decode it. the only time he can hear you without fail is when you’re on the phone. the worst part is that, after a while, he decided he was going to go to the doctor about it and they told him that he literally has trouble hearing the frequency of your voice, so it’s an unfixable issue. you’re stuck like this for the rest of time.

gunwook’s beige flag is that everything you do has to be planned to a T. there is no spontaneity whatsoever when you hang out with gunwook. if you ask to hang out, his first response will be “to do what” and I Don’t Know is NOT an acceptable answer. it can be something as simple as “let’s watch a movie” or something as intricate as “let’s take the train to the beach and go searching for fun shells, and then we can take a scenic bike ride afterward,” there just has to be a plan. when gunwook makes plans for the both of you, he sends you a time-blocked itinerary and he will get a little upset if things go off schedule (but he won’t get angry and ruin things for you). he gets anxious when there’s not a set thing you’re supposed to be doing. at least his plans are always lots of fun!!!

yujin’s beige flag is that he goes days without contacting anyone. he just falls off the face of the earth every 3-4 months for a few days and everyone freaks out in his wake. it starts with gyuvin calling you like “yujin DIED” and then you spend an hour and a half convincing him yujin isn’t dead. then another day without any proof that he’s alive passes and suddenly YOU’RE believing yujin is dead. then you call gunwook, who also hasn’t heard anything, and he calls ricky, who ALSO hasn’t heard anything, and suddenly there’s a groupchat where you’re discussing the likelihood that he’s gone forever. then he posts on instagram and pretends like nothing happened. he doesn’t understand why everyone’s so glad to see/hear from him, either. he even had hao worrying like yujin please don’t do this ever again 🙏

thank you for reading !

tags: @happysmileybee @wtfhyuck

tiktok links: zhang hao, matthew, taerae

[the-s1lly-corner]

I just had a very cool idea.

So imagine that Caine makes a specific bad adventure and child! reader has a nightmare about It and they go for the tadc cast for comfort ( this is platonic obviusly)

Thank you!!! :3

TADC cast x kid!reader who's having nightmares! (Platonic)

Originally I was gonna have caine be a part of this but since the child.. would like understand that Caine was the reason the scary stuff happened in the first place considering Caine literally.. announces the IHA.. you know? Woukdnt make too much sense to seek comfort from the source of fear...

Anyways

I want french fries rn but its 11pm rn

Anyways hope you enjoy!! I am so so sleepy!!

Written on mobile, I might stick to it for the foreseeable future... at least until I get a new more comfier chair to put at my computer

POMNI:

Probably the worst for comfort but I dont think shes terrible. So when you turn up at her door late one night she of course let's you in and snatch her bed. Even she can agree that Caines most recent IHA was a little on the intense side. Rubs your back until you fall asleep, and tries to make you feel less scared and alone by letting you know you werent the only one scared

Does it help?

Not sure, I guess it depends on the kid! You're choice!

RAGATHA:

Probably one of the best when it comes to comforting you! Gives you one of her softest blankets (she makes her own blankets!) As well as making sure your stuffed animal is in the bed

Makes it a point to tuck you and your plushie in to "not let the bedbugs bite". Runs her hands through your hair. Very good for any headaches you may have gotten from crying

Tells you nice stories until you fall asleep

JAX:

I think, similar to zooble, once he gets over the fact he was suddenly awoken he would be.... okay at comforting. Hes more eager to get back to sleep so he may be a little pushy in regards to getting you back to sleep. Kind of comes across as him dismissing your fears. Awkward back patting to try to get you to calm down

Hes a cranky one, I think, when it comes to sleep

Not many ideas for jax

KINGER:

I mentioned somewhere, I think in a cuddling hc... somewhere.. that kinger would put himself beteeen you and the door, effectively working as a barrier of sorts to protect you. That still stands here, even in a platinic/familial sense. Gets very into about how hes going to stand guard over you for the night while building a pillow fort around the two of you. Let's you snuggle into his robe (very soft and warm) while telling you stories he came up with... I think he would try to undo any fear you may feel around caine, since I personally think kinger is. Just used to caine. No point in being afraid of someone who could have hurt you at any time but hasnt done so... funny coming from the paranoid man

Ragatha would do the same, with the caine-fear thing

ZOOBLE:

Oddly enough they're pretty solid at comforting you! Once they get past the fact they were awaken in the middle of the night they pull you into bed. I think zooble would have fairy lights in their room, or the LED lights that you string up on your walls. Usually they have them in one color but to make you feel better they have them slowly changing into different colors. Very calming, I think. Quietly mutters that it's okay to be scared sometimes. I dont know I'm just soft for gentle older sibling zooble... offers to stay awake to keep watch over you

GANGLE:

Let's you fiddle with her ribbon, maybe

Like you know how sometimes people let another person fiddle with their hands and fingers? I think that's what it would be like for gangle

Plus ribbon has a nice texture, I think

Turns on the lights (dimly) if you're nervous about sleeping in the dark

Stays awake until you fall asleep. I think she would read a book to you. The only one who actually reads from a book. Acts out some of the scenes. Nothing too special, just some simple flair with her hands and stuff you know?

[phanfictioncatalogue]

3k-5k Words Fics (8) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven

Agent D (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: Phil's plotting his takeover of the entire world (or really, just part of London) and he's going to start by eliminating cheese...

A Phineas and Ferb inspired "evil" scientist au

and true, the vision's hazy (ao3) - sensorydephrivation (memoryofamurder)

Summary: Ever since he was a small child, Phil had strange dreams. They seem to foretell terrible things, and a certain curly-haired man keeps showing up in them...

another day of sun (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: breakfast together, 12 years apart.

cheek & tongue. (ao3) - razussy

Summary: being your true self to the person you love is a special kind of feeling.

Confessions of the heart (ao3) - Frog910

Summary: Sister Daniel always knew he was different. A male accepted into the Covent. Many whisper in the halls, but he knew they didn't matter.

But sister Daniel starts to struggle after hearing father Philip talk about love.

Can they move past their positions and be together?

Dan's Not-So-Solo Solo Time (ao3) - Max_is_Lost

Summary: Dan is having trouble focusing one lazy Tuesday and he ends up thinking for a little too long about a blowjob he gave Phil earlier in the morning. He decides to have some 'Me time' but soon realizes that four hands are always better than two hands.

Everything Hurts But You Make Things a Bit Better (ao3) - That_cool_weirdo

Summary: I'm annoyed that my joints don't work so i wrote a fluffy fic of 2009 phan's first irl meeting where dan has all of my issues

Forever & Always (ao3) - ForeverJustAnEmoKidAtHeart

Summary: fluffy tour fic. I hope you like it.

God, what have you done? (ao3) - gaydreaming

Summary: When Dan bought the sexy nun costume at a random Spirit Halloween in Florida, he meant it as a joke. By the time he leaves the club in Nashville, about two states past where this would have been a good idea, having cried in a bathroom, downed a glass of wine, and experienced one of his most formative nights, it's not really a joke anymore. Something has changed. Something has been awakened.

hazy shade of winter (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: If they’d met in any other universe, he thinks they might have been everything to each other. In these cracked fragments, it’s more like they’re the only thing.

How do rabbits get protein? (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: “How do rabbits get protein?”

“From eating a lot of meat.”

just wanna be yours (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Dan is scared to go into heat. Phil helps him through it.

listen to your hands soothe (ao3) - astradyke (violetides)

Summary: For now, Phil forces himself up. Sometimes, if he lays in bed enough, Dan will check on him. And he’ll do his soft voice and bring Phil a coffee, and he’ll yap about something and get all worked up and Phil will just sit and smile at him.

It’s a tempting enough thought that Phil almost wants to go back to bed and wait for it. Sometimes, he does. But today, the idea of someone doting on him for a nothing issue– just another Phil migraine– feels… annoying. Phil feels annoying, for that. And maybe someday Dan will realize that this is all really annoying, that Phil wasn’t like this when they first met. That Phil used to be energetic and chase him around his mum’s house and fuck him hard enough to make the bedsprings squeak. Now, Phil’s got a bit of a headache. And he’s thirty four.

(a snapshot into 2021, and the act of taking care of each other).

Lost in translation (and words) (ao3) - Maybeimyours

Summary: Dan suddenly wishes he was the forensic linguist to decipher what the hell Phil meant in his intentions.

Dan, in his second year of Law school, getting to work with a small team and for work more in the sense of work for them. He doesn’t mind much, yet meeting Phil, a Forensic Linguistic expert, somehow makes him question all his own boundaries and have a crash out on the daily basics, on the verge of quitting and spending time with Phil Dan has to make a decision.

Love Comes Without a Warning (ao3) - beaniebopbaby

Summary: Phil Lester wanted nothing more than to find his soulmate, his other half.

Dan Howell could not care less about finding his.

A soulmate AU where each person has one half of a tattoo. When you meet your soulmate, your tattoos combine to become one.

Love Languages (ao3) - dipnpip

Summary: 5 ficlets about how they express their love through each language.

Love; or, a note on terminology (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: There are few things humans love more than nice, neat labels. There are also few lies that are whiter.

Lullaby for the sun (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: It's been a few months now, and for some reason when Dan visits Phil he just feels tired.

Marked Up (ao3) - dipnpip

Summary: Phil likes to bite. Turns out, Dan likes it more. >:3

Orpheus, Forgiven (ao3) - Celeste (artificialmac)

Summary: Sisyphus stops pushing the boulder. Orpheus doesn’t turn. Icarus doesn’t brush his fingertips against the surface of the sun. There is no story.

Or: Phil is Orpheus.

pass around miami party bottom (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: phil just wanted a quiet drink in a bar, he wasn't expecting to meet dan, let alone go home with him

Phil and Ted(dy) (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: Dan and Phil are working with some new people on their 2025 Tiny Horse calendar when someone accidentally calls Dan "Teddy," and the joke sticks. It's quote-able, meme-able, and maybe not a good idea to save it as the default file name without checking first.

put a ring on it (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: “Maybe the reasons we dismissed it before don’t really apply anymore.”

rattlesnake (ao3) - ZackStriker (PyroStormIsBae)

Summary: a fic juxtaposing 2012's grief with 2024's joy.

Ring Pop (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: A feeling settles into Dan one day, a feeling he's dismissed for years.

I want to marry this man

safe harbor (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: He’s gorgeous, that’s the first thing Dan notices: gorgeous and tall and sleekly blond and effortlessly charming. The second and third things, in rapid succession, are the metal band around his wrist, claiming him with the pulse of its tiny white light, and the faint scent of ozone and empty air. He’s wearing a striped jumper, electric blue and fuzzy against the chill of the windy months, but when Dan’s eyes flick down he can see the gentle swell of his stomach, the way his hand drifts unconsciously to rest against it. A surrogate. Dan’s lived enough of his life in uneasy proximity to the Glissant to recognize one, but he can’t guess how far along he is.

The surrogate glances down the coffee shop, and his eyes are blue with an unearthly glow.

sk8ter girl (ao3) - ShiwiSins (IetjeSiobhan)

Summary: “She can’t even keep herself on the board for longer than three minutes, what makes you think she could teach you?” PJ asks doubtfully.

“She looks hot,” Dani says, and PJ cackles.

“That’s not a qualification for teaching someone how to skateboard,” he tells Dani wisely.

Slow Hands (ao3) - danandphil1910

Summary: It was a fantasy brought up during pillow talk, Phil never would’ve imagined that a week later he’d be standing in the bathroom preparing to fulfill it.

So let them talk (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: Phil wants to watch the process of Dan transforming into Sister Daniel, but having only done it alone off-camera or quickly backstage, Dan’s not quite sure how to go about it without feeling burned out and just done with the whole concept. But with a little bit of time, patience, and letting go of old habits, creating a new persona without the pressure of performing for cameras and lights might just open up new possibilities and bring back the energy he felt that first night in Nashville.

Soft (ao3) - dipnpip

Summary: On a rare day-off together touring Europe, Dan becomes increasingly flustered by Phil's soft skin while out sightseeing.

Sun's out, nun's out (ao3) - m_katiep

Summary: It's pride month, Phil hears about an interesting drag event. He goes and sees a slutty nun. The nun is the most gorgeous non-binary brunette, who gets horny when drunk. They end up spending a night together <3

This was never going to end well. (ao3) - Loganator5001

Summary: When Daniel Howell, lawyer, husband, father, wakes up next to a man, in a flat that isn't his own, he knows exactly how it happened. And Daniel knows how it will end if he comes back. Dan almost doesn't care.

Tuppence, tuppence (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: Dour joyless businessman meets quick-witted handsome chimney sweep who shows him the true meaning of Christmas

Wasteland, Baby (I'm in love with you) (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: The end of the world is slow and quiet. There are no explosions, no riots, just the gradual buildup of floods and fires and earthquakes until the earth can’t take it anymore.

Dan doesn’t believe in the politicians and their ideas of “normalcy,” but he absolutely believes in Phil and would follow him through hell and back. Phil wants to believe in hope and fate, but what matters most is that through it all he still has Dan.

Werewolves of London (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: “I am not a werewolf,” Dan says.

“You are, though,” Phil says. Again.

“No, I’m not,” Dan says, insistent. “Because werewolves aren’t real.”

When you dream of me, how do I look like? (ao3) - dead_little_lamb19

Summary: got inspired by the moment in todays video, because well, dan definitely got some wet dreams about phil, but this isnt a fic about him.

also everything happening here is in a dream, so reality wont make sense sometimes and also theres no kink negotiation bc its just a phantasy in phils head

you carry the sun in your hand (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Phil rents a flat with a ghost in it, and somehow it gets weirder from there.

you said love was a question (the answer was everything) (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Five times Dan didn't propose...and one time he did.

You've got a squeak-ret admirer (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: When Phil's going to make himself breakfast, he finds a cute little Valentine's card on the kitchen counter. And then another, and another, and another...

[jeahreading]

Ch - 1

Who is She?

She slowly opens her eyes, trying to blink the drowsiness and fatigue away. An unfamiliar figure moves in her periphery as a young woman shaked her shoulder.

"Magister? Magister! Are you ok?"

Why was this young woman trying to break the haze of comfort that wrapped around her, all she wanted at the moment was to go back to sleep, but wait when did she go to sleep? Something wasn't right, something was poking at the edge of her sleep-hazed conscious.

"Magister! Oh no, I have to, I have to call Hammie"

Hammie? What was going on?

She finally found the strength to pull herself up, laboured breaths coming up in short bursts.

"Oh thank god! Magister, are you alright? Should I call General Hogan?? Is it something serious?"

She looked around, her surroundings, they felt...unfamiliar, the gentle nudge of a headache that had begun as soon as she opened her eyes was now replaced by a roar, she tried to think, where was she? Why was she in this place? Who was this woman? wait no that didn't make sense, she couldn't remember, she could not remember herself, jumbled questions clashed against the emptiness inside her head where her memories were supposed to be.

Recall it now

Reclaim the lost sword

Let it illuminate the journey

The one who shatters the eternal night

Merlin....Merlin....Merlin

The words played in her head like a broken record, repeating over and over with only flashes of broken memories, or was it...they didn't feel like memories, they felt like something else entirely...

"Where...Who- Who are you?"

"Ah, it seems, it has happened again..."

"Happened again? What do you mean, Where am I ?"

"Magister you must calm down and I'll explain everything to you"

Up until now, she had been looking around, trying to gauge her surroundings, the house was absolutely beautiful, all high ceilings and chandeliers. The extravagant glass windows were painted with the stunning view of a sunset rivalling the colours of a Daughneer Painting.

With high velvet curtains and wooden floors polished to perfection, whoever lived in this place must have loved it dearly and put a lot of work into it. Now, with the prospect of an explanation to her bizarre situation, she locked her eyes on the young girl standing in front of her.

The girl took a deep breath and started a speech, which seemed way too smooth to have been said for the first time.

"I'm Dolly, You're a mage who has inherited the title of Merlin, the greatest Mage of all Time. However, for some reason, you lost most of your powers, and your memories have become fragmented, more often than any of us would like you fall asleep and wake up with a blank slate of a mind, and it seems it has happened again".

"We are in the Mystical house and you and me have been living together for some time."

For a few moments, all she was physically able to do was stare at her in disbelief, if what the girl, Dolly was saying was true that meant that she had apparently fallen asleep and woken up to a world she once knew but did not recognise anymore.

"Y-You mean to tell me, that I am the "Greatest Mage of all Time", that I am some Merlin, and this..this house is mine? Why...do I keep forgetting everything". The torrent of visions she was getting just a few moments ago had long stopped, but the words...they kept echoing...

Recall it now

Reclaim the lost sword

Let it illuminate the journey

The one who shatters the eternal night

Merlin....Merlin....Merlin

"Unfortunately, Magister, nobody is able to answer that question, trust me, when it started you and me, we went all around Esperia trying to find a cure, no magic nor medicine was able to heal you"

"I-You said that I inherited the title of Merlin, but then..what is my name, my real name?"

"You once told me, only once, and believe you said your name was Eudora"

Eudora...

"Eudora...That's...a very nice name, I like it, I suppose it fits me doesn't it"

"It does, but magister and I am so terribly sorry for putting this burden upon your hands when you have just found out so much, I just came from the other side of the river, I was out buying some of the wheat when suddenly someone screamed about a fire, I tried to look for where the fire had begun, and I even called Chippy, but the fire remains incessant, I came running back to call you, I don't think you can stay hidden any longer Magister, you have to go and help the villagers, everything must seem new to you right now, but trust me magister, you are the only one who can help them now!"

"No it's ok, I may not remember anything but that doesn't mean that I'll refuse to save those who need my help, I'll try my best, but whose...Chippy?"

"Oh right, Chippy is your Hamster Familiar, you'll find on the connecting bridge to the village, and he'll tell you more!"

"o..k, right I'll go now"

"Wait, I think you should change your appearance before going out, it may help to keep your identity a secret"

"I have to do that? Moreover, I can do that??"

Dolly grinned and nodded,

Eudora walked over to a nearby mirror; her eyes roamed over her body, it looked frail and fragile, dark circles adorned her eyes and cracked and bloody lips talked back at her. Looks like her previous self wasn't handling being the Merlin very well, if she was honest, it scared her, not a little but a lot, would she also end up like her previous self, burdened with the weight of holding the title of Merlin, eventually loose her memories again and then end up in the same exact position, trying to remember. The idea of getting to know herself from others, not knowing who to trust and who to be wary of... was terrifying, as these thoughts swirled in her head she muttered an encantation she didn't realise she knew and instantly her appearance changed.

Thin, greasy strands changed into, long, thick brown hair, and her weary and pitiful face morphed into a youthful and sturdy one, with blazing green eyes and strong set features, giving her an air of importance she knew she commanded.

"Magister, you look...rejuvenated!"

"Thanks; she looked like she could use some help" Eudora said, pointing at her reflection in the mirror.

Dolly smiled, "Now Go!"

Eudora nodded. Now wasn't the time to wallow in self-pity or fall into crisis about what was happening to her; it was time for her muscle memory to kick in and save those who depended on her.

[folyoszel]

My Live Blog of The Apothecary Diaries Light Novels Volume 1 Chapter 3: Jinshi

I'm procrastinating packing for my trip that happens in 6ish hours, so I might as well read another chapter of The Apothecary Diaries!

No points for guessing the central character of this chapter. Lol

I do like that the LN has chapters from different perspectives. I love having Maomao as a guide, don't get me wrong, I just also like seeing different perspectives and thought processes.

How many times a day does this poor man have to break up cat fights? If the ladies-in-waiting at Lady Lihua's palace are any indication, it's probably a lot.

On another note, something I haven't really thought of much is that the way that Jinshi and Maomao refer to the consorts as "flowers" or "blossoms" is kind of dehumanizing. I don't think either of them are trying to be rude or anything, I just think they're trying to distance themselves emotionally from the consorts so they can think more rationally about each situation.

I just went ahead and used different colors to differentiate my points rather than trying to take multiple screenshots of one specific paragraph.

Yellow: I know this isn't at all what it meant, but I have a weird imagination, so I pictured Jinshi trying to walk through a pile of lovestruck women while looking absolutely disturbed. I kind of wish that was fanart that existed.

Green: So it really was that Maomao didn't swoon at the sight of him and not her comment about writing. Poor dude really is flabbergasted by her immunity to him.

Red: But it isn't the end. Instead, you will become absolutely smitten with that girl and trip over yourself, trying to get her attention.

I don't know, I think Lady Gyokuyou is probably fine considering how much the Emperor favors her. One woman's sick leave probably didn't hurt her financially and would only up her kind reputation.

I don't blame either one. It's all on the makeup people for not mentioning the fact that it's poison and the people who were managing the harem while Luomen was there for not keeping his warnings about the stuff.

Lead poisoning is awful. Among a bunch of other terrible things, it can cause headaches and general irritability. That as well as the paranoia that comes from being a consort with the eldest/only son, having your child dying in front of you, and having maids who don't believe it's poison until sense is literally slapped into one of them, you can really see how she made that mistake, and it makes the loss of her son all the more tragic.

I really like Lady Lihua because she has all the set up of a general mean girl who will be an opponent for the rest of the series, but turns out to be a genuinely wonderful person who was just in a terrible situation. (Spoilers) I'm really glad she ends up able to have another son later in the series. (Spoilers end)

I appreciate that not only that Maomao tried to make her handwriting look bad to throw people off, but also that Jinshi can apparently tell that she purposefully wrote poorly and that she's a girl. I do kind of understand the gender thing since I've noticed different tendencies between the handwriting of different genders, but I'm going to really question his ability to tell whether the writer is purposefully writing badly or just has bad handwriting. Especially since it earlier said the message was written using grass stains. I can't imagine that being easy.

Great memory for something innocuous that happened almost a month ago. I guess her not stopping to admire his hotness really stuck with him. I mean, Jinshi's had to come across someone so lost in their thoughts that they walked by without noticing him, right? I mean, I sometimes walk around with zero awareness of what's around me. I also appreciate his immediate glee at his lead and the random insult to the people watching the fight between Lady Gyokuyou and Lady Lihua. I kind of love the random, offhand insults that Maomao and Jinshi have in their thoughts.

Does he just have an encyclopedia of different cloths he's felt? And if he so distinctly remembers her and what she said, wouldn't he remember her outfit? Unless the maids that have different jobs have outfits that look similar but don't use the same material. Does any of this actually matter? No, but my brain got stuck on it, and you chose to read it.

I love that Jinshi hasn't spoken a word to Maomao, but he's already delighted by her and the mystery that she's accidentally given him. He's also 100% using Lady Gyokuyou's gratitude as an excuse to satiate his curiosity and boredom with work.

I'm so glad I managed to fit all the quotes I wanted to share in one post, I would've been annoyed if I had to make another post for just one or two quotes. Anyways, thank you for reading once again, and I hope to see you when I cover the next chapter, "The Nymph's Smile."

[berrypass-de-murdler]

3 - 27 An Impossible Murder in the Impossible Maze

This episode is rushed and terrible because I was distracted while writing it and I needed to finish it in time to still watch an episode of spongebob.

Anyway

Chapter 9 has been uploaded to AO3 for anyone who's willing to read it! feedback is very very important to me, but obviously you don't have to look lmao

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

The impossible maze is laid out eerily similar to TekCo Futures, and it’s giving Logico a headache. Nothing makes any sense, and nothing should be physically possible, hence the name. But there’s no time to ‘logically’ explain that. They have to run. But they slam into the Crystal Goddess! (Or rather, through her, since she’s a spirit.)

CRYSTAL GODDESS: YOU INSIPID FOOLS! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? ONYX: Ignore her - Mr. President, are you doing alright? IRRATINO: I’m fine, but things are going to get really bad if me and Logico don’t leave as soon as possible. SAFFRON: Hi!!! Do you know how to get out? IRRATINO: The gardener does! I’ll-

He shouldn’t have hired a human gardener. The human gardener is dead. The Goddess wails horrifically, shooting crystal shards into the air and into everyone else.

LOGICO: Alright, what do you know about the death of the day. ONYX: If I tell you, can I get back to my work? LOGICO: That depends. Is your work more murder? IRRATINO: Logico, calm down-

Saffron lets out a long, harrowing sigh, very loudly into Logico’s face.

LOGICO: …Yes? SAFFRON: Being a Graywalker really changed me, Logico! I don’t want to be just another murderous suspect anymore.  LOGICO: You said you had no recollection of that event. SAFFRON: So I’m going good! I’m not a criminal anymore! LOGICO: That doesn’t erase your murder record. SAFFRON: I promise, I will never murder again!

Logico sees the ever-suspicious Crystal Goddess duck behind a hedge. But when he checks around the same hedge, he’s suddenly in the complete opposite side of the maze! 

LOGICO: The actual hell??

He runs past a sculpture of an impossible triangle, and wonders something improbable. It’s the dumbest thing in the world, but no one else is around… So he squeezes himself through the hole in the middle of the statue, and sure enough, he reappears tumbling out of a bush by the others again. Irratino doesn’t even look.

IRRATINO: …and that’s why you should always stay the way you are. SAFFRON: You’re… you’re right, I never thought of it like that… LOGICO: I WAS GONE FOR TWO SECONDS, AND YOU’RE CONVINCING THE MURDERER TO GO BACK TO MURDERING??? IRRATINO: I’m teaching her that it’s good to be yourself!

But it apparently doesn’t matter, since she wasn’t the murderer in this particular example. Onyx was, for reasons unknown.

ONYX: No, not unknown… I did it to save my job as herbalist. I can’t feed my babies with herbs - I need money too. IRRATINO: Onyx, I promise I won’t let you lose your job. We’re going to save the Institute. I learned that it’s not just about my career - I have to fight for you guys. You’re my best friends.

Onyx smiles a bit, reassured.

SAFFRON: And I learned that I’m not a good girl! LOGICO: The f- SAFFRON: I’M A BAD WOOOOOOOMAAAAAAAN!

The Crystal Goddess screams in rage at the music, and as Saffron continues to sing very, very loudly, Logico and Irratino use that as their chance to use the secret exit.

ONYX: SAFFRON, GET OUT!! THE MAZE IS ON FIRE!!!! SAFFRON: Wait, for real? I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST FOR EFFECT!!!

The Tekkies approach the maze, but are met with a wall of flames.

OLIVE: Those little fuckers. We’ll find them. We’ll find them.

The end! 

This is turning into season 1-1 type bs

The real reason for posting is because I want to show you this:

CEO Indigo!!! I'm so proud of how he looks!!! He's so scary!!!

Indigo lost his sense of empathy completely when he intentionally had his brain replaced with a microchip. Everyone at TekCo hates him intensely, and he didn't even actually create the place...

And more lore to come <3

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!