#does this have anything to do with bending over weeding for 3 hours straight the day before yesterday? surely not

[lamaenthel]

officially at the age where i don't have back pain standing up but as soon as i lean more than 20° forward its like hnnnnnnnnnnnnng

[tatestripedsweater]

Billy Hargrove NSFW Alphabet

Stranger Things Taglist: @tatesimper

Warnings: Mentions of Drugs (Cannabis), Mentions of Abuse from his father

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

If you were another pointless one night stand then I think he wouldn’t really care for cuddling you, maybe offers your a cigarette afterwards. But if you were in a relationship then Billy would be more affectionate, stroking your back as you lay on his chest. Often asking if you’re okay and making sure he didn’t hurt you, no matter what he always smiles after sex. Always.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Like a typical guy, his favourite part about himself is his dick. Or his arms/abs, he’s worked hard to get his body where it is so he liked to show it off at any chance he gets.

Billy’s favourite part of his partners is their ass, he’s such an ass man and he’s always squeezing and pinching it. Not even caring if the both of you are in public, it’s almost to show everyone else your taken.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

As much as a fuck boy he is the boy is smart and never leaves anywhere without a condom. Billy always carries more than one in the pocket of his wallet, he rarely cums inside of anyone just incase or pregnancy (if you’re able to get pregnant) or STD’s. Billy wouldn’t mind coating his lover in his cum though, cumming all over their chest or breasts (if you have them). Also would adore to cum on your ass, he sees it as him marking his territory.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He steals your underwear, keeps them in his pocket and laughs to himself when you go on about not being able to find them. Billy is secretly an underwear sniffer and you can’t tell me otherwise on the matter.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s very experienced in the bedroom department, he knows how to get you to your orgasm and won’t stop until you’ve came at least twice before he fucks you. Billy enjoys sex very much as it allows him to get his pent up anger out without doing any serious damage.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

On all fours because he likes to grip your ass while he fucks you, but Billy wouldn’t be opposed to you riding him. But just because you’re on top doesn’t mean that you’re in control.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He isn’t really goofy/humorous during sex, but if something happens like a funny noise/ugly orgasm face then you two would most likely giggle about that. But otherwise he’s rather serious as he wants to bring you the most pleasure he can, not make you laugh.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Have you seen this boys hair? He doesn’t manscape, maybe trims what he has below the belt to keep it under control, but he never goes bald. Billy wants to feel and look like a man so he never shaves everything off.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Like I said before it depends on if you’re a one night stand or if you two are in a relationship, he’s romantic for the right person, rarely shows his vulnerable side to just anyone.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Billy masturbates any chance he can get if he’s single or by himself, he often uses porn magazines or rents a porn VHS video to watch while he pleasures himself. If Billy is with someone, just picturing them or having a photo of his lover near us enough to help him jerk off.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Goodness where do we start? He’s got a few kinks: Public Sex, Degradation, It’s not a kink but he likes when his hair is being pulled, a slight daddy kink but would rather his partner scream his name, Masturbating with his partner as they watch porn together.. the list goes on.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The Pool, Showers, His Car, Your House, The Woods... although that last one is questionable to say the least.

Anywhere that isn’t at his own house so he doesn’t have to face his abusive father.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Boy doesn’t need much motivation, all his lover has to do is bend down and he’s ready to go anywhere anytime. But the one thing that does send blood rushing to his cock, is when he sees you sucking on a lolly. His mind goes straight to the gutter.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything with bodily fluids would be a big no for him (unless it was spit or cum), Billy also would like to slap you on the face. It didn’t matter if you were into that or you asked him too, Billy wouldn’t due to the abuse his father displayed towards him. He wouldn’t want to hurt you like that.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Billy loves blowjobs, he would often ask for head when he’s driving for the ‘thrill’. Gripping your hair and bobbing your head until he’s practically hitting the back off your throat, but he also loves giving him oral. He could spend hours between your legs just taking in how you taste, wanting more and more until your begging him to stop. He also likes it when you sit on his face, having you grind against his tongue.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on the type of sex and who he’s with, he’s sometimes slow and sensual but nine times out of ten you’re getting your ass spanked with him pounding his cock inside you.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s up for quickies if the two of you are between jobs, Billy fucking you in the changing rooms while he’s on a break. It he prefers proper sex where he can take his time with your body, taste and feel you completely.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Billy loves public sex so risking getting caught by someone turns him on a lot, he loves making you moan loudly to see if anyone hears him fucking you. He’s willing to try some things once, if he doesn’t like it then you two don’t do it again but if he likes it.. boy you’re in for one hell of a night.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can go around 2/3 rounds due to him working out a lot, his stamina is pretty good. Billy won’t cum unless you do (unless he’s punishing you then he cums and deprives you until you’re begging). Billy can hold back from cumming for a while, but the first time you two had sex he nearly came almost instantly which is something you won’t let go.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Billy isn’t one for toys as he enjoys to pleasure you with his tongue/fingers and cock. He wouldn’t say no to a vibrator or a cock ring if you really wanted to try but he draws the line at a dildo. The only cock he wants inside you is his own.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Teasing is his middle name. Billy adores having you right on the edge of an orgasm before pulling away completely, he likes to hear you whine and beg to cum. He doesn’t like to be teased but he loves teasing his lover, if you ever tried to tease him he’d have you pinned down almost instantly.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Billy can get pretty loud when he wants too but he mostly moans against your skin to muffle it (he’s somewhat embarrassed by the noises he makes). Sometimes he grunts but he’s mostly a growler and moans loudly when he cums.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

High sex. There’s no way this boy doesn’t do weed, with the effect of the cannabis in both of your systems and the emotions of feeling horny would be the best sex you could ask for. Billy would most likely order pizza afterwards.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I’d say he’s a decent size, nothing too overwhelming where you’re scared it wouldn’t fit. 7.5 inches, but he has more of a girth than anything. Also not to go into too much detail but he also has big balls, they’re often slapping against you when he fucks you which only adds to the pleasure.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Through the fucking roof, very very high. There isn’t a day that goes by that the two of you haven’t had sex, and if there is for whatever reason, he’s the type of guy to complain about ‘blue balls.’

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

After he’s had his cigarette after sex, Billy usually doesn’t fall asleep very quickly; it depends how rough/rampant the sex was. He usually showers first but if it was tiring then the boy would fall asleep after he’s smoked.

[julesclues]

fake dating

“please talk to me about it” // chapter 5

warnings: mentions of sex and verbal abuse

pairings: jj maybank x reader

word count: 3.35k

you wake up with a pounding headache. you thought maybe hitting your head a couple times on the wall would be better than what you were experiencing right now. you groan and look over at the nightstand next to your bed. you grab your phone and you gasp in nervousness. you had 23 miss calls from your mom and over 100 texts wondering where you were. “fuck,” you whisper, and roll to your side. your body collides with another, and you scream. “woah princess, relax, it’s me,” you hear them say. it was jj. “god jj,” you moan. he smirks and you give him a look. “when i imagine you moaning my name, it definitely doesn’t look like this,” he states. you roll your eyes and giggle with a deep red blush creeping up on your face. you slap his shoulder lightly, remembering the events from last night, and look back down at your phone. “you’re so immature,” you complain. “i have to call my parents back,” you say, sitting up. jj stretches and groans, still laying down. “us having sex reminded you of your parents?” he asks jokingly, and you let out a tiny gasp. “might i remind you jj, we didn’t have sex!” he chuckles and so do you. “i know, i know,” he sighs, pretending to be hurt. “your mom thinks we did though.” your eyes widen. “oh crap, i forgot about that,” you say, while dialing your mom’s number and hitting the ‘call’ button.

she immediately answers and starts yelling at you. “y/n i’ve been calling you all night! where are you! i was worried sick!” you look back at jj and he sits up, not breaking eye contact with you. “i’m with jj mom. we’re at john–“ she cuts you off before you can finish. “oh god y/n! i was so worried! you can’t just run off with your boyfriend to do god knows what and not tell your mother!” you sigh and get up from the bed. “mom, please. i’m fine! i’m with jj,” you repeat. ”what if something happened to you?” she asks, not knowing you had that whole confrontation with rafe. you look down at your bruised knuckles from hitting rafe in the face. you smile slightly from the satisfaction of the memory. “nothing would’ve happened to me!” you yell, pacing the room, feeling jj’s eyes follow you. “i was with jj, okay? i know you were nervous, and i’m so sorry, i lost track of time. but i wasn’t alone ma. he’ll protect me.” you turn to him and he smirks. “i’ll use protection all right,” he whispers, and you groan is disgust.

“stop being horny,” you whisper. “what did you say?” your mom asks from the other side of the phone. “nothing mom,” you say quickly, and jj laughs. “was that jj?” you hear your mom question from the other side of the phone. “yes ma.. look, i’ll be home soon, okay?” she sighs and says okay, saying she loves you and that she’ll see you soon.

“oh and one more thing y/n,” she adds on. “your father is really mad at you. he was worried too.” you scoff in disbelief. your father being worried about you? please. “yeah, sure he was mom. i bet he was shitting his pants,” you say sarcastically. jj knew you were talking about your dad. he had noticed some tension the other day he was at your house for dinner. especially when he brought it up and you shot him down. he knew something more was going on behind the scenes. he wanted to be there for you. he wanted to be the one you went to first when you needed comfort. he didn’t want you to go through anything by yourself. he knew how lonely and broken it could make a person feel.

“watch your language y/n! he was worried. just cut him some slack, okay?” you scoff after hearing your mother’s words. for all of your life, your father has treated you no better than trash. only when there were people around was when he would actually act like a father. his worry your mom kept constantly talking about, was actually a disguise for anger. he never showed it in front of your mom or little sister, but he would get really enraged when it came to you. that’s why when you tried to get help, no one would believe you. he thankfully never laid a hand on you, but there’s a first time for everything.

“whatever mom.. look, i have to go, okay?” you say, seeing jj get up and look through his closet for a better outfit other than pajamas. “okay okay. just be back in time for dinner please. oh, and bring jj!” you pinch the bridge of your nose, wishing you could just go back to bed. “mom come on, i don’t think jj would want to come back. dad’s just going to rip into him again, like he always does!” your mother huffs in anger. “y/n l/n bring your boyfriend for dinner and stop talking bad about your father!”

“goodbye mom,” you say, ignoring her and hanging up. “trouble in paradise?” jj asks, taking off his shirt to exchange it for another. you nod in agreement, biting the inside of your mouth. “what’s wrong?” he asks, slipping the shirt over his head. “why? does it look like something is wrong?” you ask back. “you bite the inside of your lip when you’re stressed,” he comments, whiling pointing to his own mouth. “you noticed that?” you question. why would jj be noticing things that not even your parents knew about you?

“yeah,” he says casually. he starts taking off his pants and your eyes go wide. “woah!” you exclaim, turning around. he laughs, as you hear the noise of his pants on the floor. your cheeks were as red as a tomato and if you were to turn around, you thought they would explode. “you’ve seen me without pants before y/n,” he says, walking to his closet to find shorts to wear. “th-that’s different,” you stutter. “you w-were in your swimsuit.” you hear him grunt while lifting up the pair of shorts. he grabs your arm and spins you around to look at him. “here,” he says, giving you his sweatshirt and some shorts. “where’d you get the girl shorts from?” you laugh. he laughs along with you and thinks. “honestly, i don’t know. they look about your size. some girl must’ve left them here.” your eyes widen as you realize what he meant. “ew! i don’t wanna wear one of your girl toy’s shorts! how did she even leave without pants..?” jj shrugs while yawning. “i’m going to the bathroom. just wear the clothes,” he says, ignoring your question.

before you could protest, jj walks into the spare bathroom and you groan, looking down at the clothes. since you didn’t think you were going to sleep over john b’s, jj gave you one of his t-shirts and boxers to sleep in. he would never admit it to you, but he thought you looked absolutely adorable in his clothes.

you start to change out of your, well, jj’s, clothes. you slip the sweatshirt over your head and almost instantly feel warmth. you take in the minor scent of weed, but the major scent of cologne. jj always found a way to smell amazing, even if he was smoking for hours straight. you loved it.

you slipped on the shorts of the unknown woman, feeling a little disgusting. you were bare foot, so you tried to find some slides or flip flops jj had that would miraculously fit you. you open his closet and are greeted by a strong whiff of his scent. his closet was actually well organized, unlike his room. you hear the toilet flush and jj walks out almost instantly, making eye contact with you. “i need shoes,” you chuckle nervously. he eyes you up and down, before meeting your e/c orbs once more. “you look hot in my clothes,” he grins. “oh my god, shut up,” you groan, feeling butterflies erupt in your stomach. “you love it,” he smirks, walking closer to you. he comes right in front of you, so tall, he might as well be hovering. “the shoes are right here,” he says in a low voice, pointing to the bottom of his closet, but still making eye contact with you. you turn your eyes from his to the shoes, and smile. “thank you!” you say enthusiastically, bending down to grab the shoes.

you felt jj still eyeing you. not knowing whether he was looking at your head or your ass, you didn’t really care. you looked hella good in those shorts anyways.

you stand back up and slip the slides on, looking up at jj. “oh i almost forgot,” you say, looking in the mirror to fix your hair. “my mom wants you to come for dinner tonight. wanna come?”

“i’ll go anywhere with you my love,” he jokes, and you chuckle. “shut up doofus.” he smiles widely and laughs. “doofus? is that a new nickname?” you turn to him and smile. “yep,” you speak softly, popping the p.

you both walk out of jj’s room, and are greeted with pope and john b. “why hello lovebirds,” john b says, raising his eyebrows. you chuckle and sit down at the kitchen island, while jj plops down on the couch. pope hands you a water bottle and you thank him while yawning. “good morning,” you smile. john b laughs and you give him a confused look. “it’s 2:30,” he chuckles. “i think you mean good afternoon.” your eyes widen when you realize you have to be at your house by 3:00. “babe, we gotta go,” you say, grabbing his hand and pulling him up from the couch with a grunt. “where are you two going? gonna go mack on each other?” john b comments, making a small blush rise up to your cheeks. “john b!” you yelp. “w-we’re going to dinner at my house,” you stutter, making jj laugh. still holding jj’s hand, you walk out of john b’s house and start walking down the street.

“you’re still holding my hand love, not that i’m complaining,” jj exclaims. you go to let go of his hand, but his grip tightens. “what’re you doing?” you ask jj. “the pouges arent here, it’s okay,” you add. “isn’t it one of the rules though? to hold hands?” you smile at the small gesture, hoping he didn’t realize you were flustered. “yo-you’re right.” quit the stuttering, you think to yourself. “then let’s go,” he says confidently.

20 minutes pass and you two finally make it to your house. you let go of jj’s hand, and groan. “my hand hurts so much,” you sigh. not saying anything, jj opens the door for you and you thank him. you’re immediately pulled into a long, awkward hug with your mom. “woah, relax ma, i’m good,” you speak in her shoulder, hesitantly wrapping your arms around her small body. “i was so worried about you! what is wrong with you?” she questions as she pulls away and slaps your chest. you roll your eyes and look into hers. “please calm down mom. i’m okay. jj and i left the midsummers early and went back to john b’s house.” she gives you a glare and squints her eyes. “and what did you do decide to do, hm?” she asks, making you groan and blush a bit. “m-mom can we just eat dinner please?” you laugh awkwardly. she finally agrees, and leads both you and jj to the kitchen, where your dad and little sister sat.

your dad looked pissed, but you tried your best not to make eye contact with him. no eye contact meant that you wouldn’t have to stir up a conversation about where you and jj were, what you were doing, and why you didn’t answer the million texts your mother sent you. you and jj sit down next to each other, as your mother walks to the stove to put the chicken in the oven. jj senses how tense you are, so he puts his hand on your thigh. you stiffen up a bit before relaxing into his touch. you were wearing shorts, so you felt the coolness of both his fingertips and rings. you don’t turn your head, but you move your eyes to look at him. he is eyeing your father, while your father is looking at your mother in the kitchen.

“so,” your father starts, making you look up at him. “where were you yesterday?” you look at jj and he gives you a small smile, calming you down a bit. “i was at midsummers but jj and i left early.” you didn’t want to tell him about the fight that went down. he would never let you hang out with jj or the other pouges ever again. “why did you leave? so you and your boy toy could get it on?” you gasp in offense and glare at your father. “my boy toy?!” you yell, as jj squeezes your thigh a bit, to try and calm you down. you ignore it, and the butterflies it sent to your stomach, and continue to get mad at your dad. “jj is my boyfriend,” you emphasize. “he’s not some fling, or something i use just to feel pleasure! he’s my boyfriend and i love him so get your shit together and be happy for me for once!” your father stands up with a loud bang, scaring both you and your sister. “dad..” your sister whispers, not used to seeing him like this. you, however, have seen him like this more times than you can count. “you’re a good for nothing whore y/n! of course jj would only be using you for your body! you think he really loves you? how could he? you’re you. and there’s no cure for that,” he hisses harshly. you take a sharp breath in, as your eyes goes wide.

“wow,” you chuckle sadly, standing up, making jj’s hand fall from your thigh. “why don’t you tell everyone how you really feel.” your eyes glisten with tears as you look at jj. “go home, okay? i’ll talk to you later.” before he could say anything, you run upstairs and slam your door.

jj turns to your father and slams his fist on the table. “what the fuck is wrong with you?” he screams. your father is taken aback by the anger in the blonde’s voice. “excuse me?” he scoffs in offense. “how dare you speak about y/n like that? i love her! i would never use her for her body. sure, we might be young, but she taught me what love is. i fell in love with her, and i’m glad i did. you’re her father. you’re supposed to love her when no one else does, or when no one else will. you’re supposed to be there for her no matter what. you’re a sorry excuse for a dad and i really hope you get help because you’ve just lost your daughter for good.”

not wanting to hear your father’s response or reaction, jj runs upstairs after you and violently knocks on the door. “leave me alone,” you cry. “y/n,” jj whispers sincerely. once you hear that it’s him, the door almost swings open immediately. you stand in front of him, your hair frizzy and eyes red and puffy. “i thought you were going home,” you sniffle. he looks at you with sad eyes and walks in your room, shutting the door with his foot behind him. “are you okay?” he asks, as you lay down on your bed. he comes to the other side and lays down next to you. he turns his head to look at you and you do the same. “yeah,” you answer falsely. his eyebrows twitch as he waits for you to continue. however, nothing else comes. “you’re not okay,” he says and you look up at the ceiling. “please talk to me about it,” he exclaims softly. you turn back to him with soft eyes, and just his look alone makes you break down.

you sob, as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you to his chest. “he always says shit like this,” you cry. your tears were getting jj’s sweatshirt wet, but he didn’t care one bit. he just hugged you tighter, hoping that if he hugged you tight enough, he could just squeeze all the sadness out. “he’s only mean to me. not my sister, not my mother. just me. what did i do so wrong that he does this? he verbally abuses me jj. he doesn’t hit me, but my god, it hurts so bad.” you knew you were putting yourself in a vulnerable place in front of jj, but you didn’t care. if anyone understood what you were going through, it was him. and you were glad to finally have someone to talk to.

“i’m so sorry,” he whispers, running his fingers through your hair as your head rests on his chest. his other hand is rubbing your back up and down, giving you chills. you giggle softly at the feeling of his fingertips and he looks down at you. “why are you laughing?” he asks with a small smile. he loved seeing you laugh. “you’re tickling me,” you admit. you lifts your chin up with his hand and raises his eyebrows. “oh yeah?” he asks, and you nod. “like this?” all of a sudden, he starts tickling your sides and stomach, making you laugh in excitement. “jj!” you yell as you laugh hard. his hands go everywhere as you try to wiggle out of his embrace, but it’s no use. he flips you over so you’re under him, and he’s on top of you, still tickling you. “okay, okay! jj, please!” you yell in laughter, tears coming out of your eyes and you move your head back and forth. he finally stops and looks down at you, as you pant trying to catch your breath.

“you’re beautiful,” he admits in a whisper. “shut up maybank,” you say with a blush, smacking him lightly in the chest. “thank you for making me feel better,” you say as you still stare into your eyes. “of course.” your eyes flicker to his lips for a quick second, wondering what it must feel like to kiss them. they must be soft, but when he’s kissing you, he’s probably rough. you try to remove the thought from your head, but when you look back up to his eyes, they’re on your lips now.

“j..?” you whisper. “yeah?” he asks in the same tone if voice. “i wa–“

ring ring

your phone rings loudly, making you jump in nervousness. you turn your head to your nightstand, as jj let’s go of you and gets off, clearing his throat with a slight blush on his cheeks. “it’s kie,” you grunt, getting off the bed, trying to forget the moment you two almost had. maybe you were just imagining it. yeah, you say to yourself. i was imagining it.

“hello?” you say, answering the phone. “hey y/n,” you hear her say. “we’re having a kegger tonight. you and jj coming?” you turn to jj and pretend to drink something, your secret signal for a kegger. he nods with a small smile. you turn around and pace around the room. “we’ll be there,” you say in excitement. “john b!” she yells. “they’ll be there!” she repeats in a scream, and you hear john b mumble an “okay.”

you hang up the phone and turn to jj. “i really don’t feel like going downstairs right now,” you admit. he smiles widely at you and plops on your bed. “what’re ya doing loser?” you ask, sitting down next to him. “let’s watch a movie!” he says, turning on your tv. “or, you know, netflix and chill,” he smirks. you roll your eyes and groan. “you’re so inappropriate maybank!”

“only for you my love.”

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[wienerbarnes]

High

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,374

Warnings: Cuteness, marijuana use

Trope: Accidental cuddling

A/N: i rewrote this oneshot like three times and they were all so drastically different but this is the one i liked the most! this is my submission for @jupiterbucky‘s 1k writing challenge! congrats clo ur one of my fav blogs on here and im so glad i could participate :) oneshot under the cut! enjoy! <3

It’s an art form. The way your delicate fingers move and bend, gentle but with purpose. Your eyes fixed on your goal and unmoving from your masterpiece. You move quick with your nimble fingers; almost there.

Five joints rolled tightly and spread neatly in a row.

Call it a post-mission ritual.

...

Outside in the hallway, Bucky is shuffling his way to the kitchen to make himself a warm glass of milk. Even after all the years he’s been alive nothing knocks him out better than a warm glass of milk. As he gets closer to the end of the hallway he notices a faint smell of... what?

His nose must be mistaking him. But when has his nose ever been wrong?

Golly, he hasn’t smelt the smell of a reefer since 1934.

But who would have marijuana in the building? On this floor? The only ones up here are you and Steve and Steve’s never gotten into any of that because of his asthma, even after he became super. Which means it’s you. You’re getting high off marijuana in your room in the middle of the night like a teenager. And suddenly Bucky finds it extremely hard to resist creeping up to your door...

You’re halfway through your second spliff when you hear a light knocking on your door. You quickly fan away smoke out the window, as if you’re back at home scared of your parents catching you, and make your way to the door.

Moving it open only a crack, you’re met with the bright, blue-gray eyes of Bucky Barnes. Intimidating guy, but a big ol’ teddy bear on the inside.

“What’s up, Buck?” You quietly inquire. You like Bucky and all, but you’d much rather get on with your... activity.

“Are you smoking marijuana cigarettes in there?” He accuses, getting straight to the point. You can spot his playful smirk from a mile away, though.

“Don’t know, you gonna tattle?” You tease back. It’s becoming harder and harder for your foggy brain to contain the giggles threatening to escape your lips.

“Depends on whether or not I’m invited, sugar.” He cheekily replies, obviously amused by your state.

“Of course! I’ve got plenty for the whole class.” The giggles escape and your smile is wide as you move aside and invite Bucky in.

Bucky watches you plop down on top of the desk next to an open grinder dirty with green dust, a lighter, and a pack of rolling papers. You’re eyes are tinged pink, you can’t hold in your giggles, and the room still stinks of skunk no matter how hard you tried to hide it.

And Bucky doesn’t think he’s ever seen a more adorable goofball.

His mind has switched from searching for a warm glass of milk, to craving the bitterness of pot like he’s sixteen again, to just kissing you silly.

He sits on the edge of the bed closest to you and watches as you relight the joint and inhale deeply. You do it once more before passing it to him in between your index and middle fingers.

He takes it from you and looks at it. He remembers all the times Steve would scold him for smoking, both marijuana and nicotine cigarettes. He thinks Steve was just jealous because he could never join him with his lung conditions.

“It won’t bite, you know.” You tease him.

Bucky glances at you and back at the joint before holding it to his lips and taking a deep inhale. The smoke enters his mouth and he feels warm. He lets the smoke seep into every corner of his mouth and throat before letting it escape through his nostrils. His eyes close in bliss because, wow, he did not remember this feeling so nice.

“Okay, Chong, no need to show off.” You pluck the joint from his fingertips, a wide grin spreading across your face.

“I don’t understand that reference.” Bucky’s smile creeps onto his face as he watches the smoke pour from your mouth.

Joint after joint is lit and burnt to the filter until there are none left. You and Bucky lay next to each other on your bed facing the ceiling and you both revel in your highs. Eyes tinted red, lazy smiles permanently etched on their faces, bodies unknowingly inching closer and closer together.

“So what was weed like back in your day?” You asked.

“Very taboo. And kinda hard to get. But I knew a coupla guys from my boxing gym that knew a guy who knew a guy. Never did it too often though, always had to be keepin’ an eye on my sisters and Steve.” Bucky responded, the tone in his voice laced with nostalgia.

“The first time I smoked it, I was fifteen,” You began after a moment of silence. “I smoked too much too quickly, threw up, and then fell asleep for a about eleven hours.”

Immediately, Bucky began cracking up, his boyish giggles growing louder and louder as you joined him.

As more stories, jokes, and laughs were shared, the high began wearing off and sleep slowly began to overtake both of your bodies. Eyes slowly closed as you both naturally scooted closer together above the comforter. This was probably the best Bucky’s ever slept.

...

Tony Stark strutted along the hallways of his compound waking up the members of his team one by one. Except Natasha. He’ll let her wake up on her own. He skips over Steve’s room, already knowing the man’s been awake since 6:00 A.M. He bears a glance at Bucky’s room, not really wanting to bother waking him up, but he does a double-take as he takes notice of Bucky’s bedroom door being ajar.

Now, why would one of the most paranoid people in the building just have his door slightly open while he’s in a vulnerable state of sleep? He wouldn’t. Tony may not care for Bucky much, for obvious reasons, but his curiosity has definitely been piqued.

Forget the briefing he had planned for this morning, where has the brooding Elsa gone?

He continues to the next door to recruit some help. He knocks on your door and waits approximately four seconds before opening the door and-

“Jesus, what are you guys, selling Pineapple Express out of this room?! It reeks in here!”

You and Bucky jolt awake and look to the source of noise. There stands Tony Stark staring down at you and Bucky Barnes intertwined like an Auntie Anne’s pretzel. His right arm is buried beneath your head and circled around your shoulders while his left is curled around your waist to bring your fronts closer together. Your hands remain tucked into his chest, the heat radiating off his body warming yours to the core. Your legs are twisted around and in between his, ankles hooked behind his calves as if your feet pulled him impossibly closer to you in your sleep. Neither of you move despite the interruption and Stark remains waiting for some sort of explanation.

“Well? You two potheads have anything to say for yourselves?” Stark awaits like a protective mother hen, thought the amusement is visible on his face.

“Want us to invite you next time?” You sarcastically reply. All you crave is to snuggle into Bucky as much as possible and fall back into a deep sleep with him.

Luckily, Tony seems to catch the hint and exits the room, not before a roll of his eyes and call out to FRIDAY to, “let him know the next time Cypress Hill decides to spend the night in his compound.”

You and Bucky remain unmoving from their position, both wondering what the other is thinking. Bucky breaks the silence.

“I don’t know about you, but, I’m mighty comfortable after what was probably the best sleep I’ve had in years, and I don’t really feel much like movin’.” He tucks you closer into him, urging you to rest your head in the crook of his neck so his head can rest on top of yours.

“Glad we’re on the same page, Snoop Dogg.” You groggily respond, wrapping your hands around Bucky’s torso to absorb as much of him as possible, eyes closing as you both drift off once again.

[youcanhavemybuckanyday]

Answer all of them. 1-170. have fun.

HELL YES LETS GOOOOOOOO

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? 

5′2″. Exactly how tall I am now. I like being short.

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

I’ve always wanted a ferret. They can weed out people for me. If a person says “Ew, it’s a rat” then they ain’t worth my time.

 3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? 

Whatever’s on sale. Preferably baggy and comfortable

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? 

Always has been and always will be the Nancy Drew computer games. I’m obsessed. There are 32 games (we don’t talk about number 33), and I’ve played each one dozens of times.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: 

My laptop, my dog, my tumblr account

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? 

Warning: Prone to spontaneous breakdowns, both physically and mentally.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? 

Honest opinion on @Elizard-Hamilton, the person who sent this ask: They’re super sweet and kind, and probably the first reciprocal tumblr friendship I’ve ever had.

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] 

Don’t know what that is, too drunk to figure it out right now.

9: Are you ticklish? 

God yes. But I retaliate. If you tickle me, you will die.

10: Are you allergic to anything? 

No, that’s the one medical thing that I don’t have.

11: What’s your sexuality? 

Hetero-Demi Sexual. So I like men, but I’m only sexually attracted to them if we’ve been close for a long time.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? 

Cocoa, always. Specifically, Tim Hortons Hot Chocolate. Medium, 2 creams.

13: Are you a cat or dog person? 

Dog. Always.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? 

I answered this one already, definitely merperson.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? 

Nope.

16: How tall are you? 

See above.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? 

I’d just add an L to my name. New name, pronounced the same.

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] 

Right now, 126 lbs. But I should be 110. I just got off a medication that made me gain 40 pounds practically overnight. I went from 100 pounds to 140 pounds. I’m slowing losing the weight.

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? 

Not in the traditional sense, but I do believe there are things about the departed we don’t yet understand. Kind of like way back when they though lightning was a supernatural event, until they found a scientific explanation for it. I think there’s stuff we just haven’t discovered yet.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? 

Ocean.

21: Are you religious? 

Nope, athiest.

22: Pet peeves? 

Idk, I can’t think of any right now.

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? 

Wtf I don’t know? Who cares? I’d rather be whatever koalas are. They sleep 22 hours a day.

24: Favorite constellation? 

The only one I can think of right now is big dipper. That makes it my favourite and also my least favourite constellation.

25: Favorite star? 

See question 24, but North Star.

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? 

I don’t know what that is? Do you mean like Barbie? I litterally watching Barbie Nutcracker right now, lol.

27: Any phobias or fears? 

Spiders.

28: Do you think global warming is real? 

Duh.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? 

No.

30: Favorite movie? 

Does Hamilton count? If yes, that. If not, Knives Out. I’m a sucker for a good murder mystery.

31: Do you get scared easily? 

Yes.

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 

Oh god. Idk. You’re going to make me do math on vacation. Lets see. 3 Dogs, 2 Cats, ungodly numbers of fish, 2 rats, 5 hermit crabs, 3 hamsters, probably others I can’t remember.

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] 

@elizard-hamilton 10/10. 5 stars. Thumbs up. Gold Star.

34: What is a color that calms you? 

Royal Purple. I used to have a bedroom where everything was royal purple. The walls, the furniture, the bedding, the accessories. Everything. It was a great time in my life, so the colour makes me think of good times.

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? 

I’d love to go to Belgium. My grandmother was born there, and we still have family over there that I’ve never met.

36: Where were you born? 

London Ontario

37: What is your eye color? 

Hazel

38: Introvert or extrovert? 

Introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? 

Not at all

40: Hugs or kisses? 

None of the above. I have Asperger's, I don’t like to be touched.

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? 

I’d love to see my BFF from high school again. Haven’t talked to her since we graduated. Rachel, if you’re out there, I miss you.

42: Who is someone you love deeply? 

My parents.

43: Any piercings you want? 

None.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? 

Nope. I don’t have anything against them, they’re just not for me. If you have them, I won’t think any less of you. There’s nothing wrong with them.

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? 

Nope. I’ve already got really shitty lungs (I have Cystic Fibrosis), I’d rather not make them worse than they already are.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! 

Oh gosh, he’s cute, funny, talented, a great singer, a great writer, he wrote a hit broadway musical... oh, he doesn’t count? Then no, no one right now.

47: What is a sound you really hate? 

Styrofoam rubbing against more styrofoam.

48: A sound you really love? 

The notification sound tumblr makes when I get something in my inbox

49: Can you do a backflip? 

HA no.

50: Can you do the splits? 

HA HA no.

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? 

Do I even need to answer this? I’m going to anyway. It’s..... drumroll........ Danny Devito! Lol, no, it’s Lin Manuel-Miranda

52: Favorite movie? 

This is the same as question 30.

53: How are you feeling right now? 

Drunk. Next question.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? 

Purple. I used to have purple hair. Then I got older and got a real job and I’m not allowed to die my hair anymore.

55: When did you feel happiest? 

At 16, with my purple hair and purple bedroom and my bff in like grade 11

56: Something that calms you down? 

Hamilton

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] 

Asperger’s, Depression, situational anxiety.

58: What does your URL mean? 

Every time is Hamiltime. Because it’s always time for Hamilton.

59: What three words describe you the most? 

Bizarre, confrontational, idk. Is there a word that means unwilling to put up with anyone’s bullshit? Because if so, then that.

60: Do you believe in evolution? 

Yes. Evolution is a fact, it’s been proven. So this question should not say do you believe in evolution, it should say do you accept evolution.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? 

If they start posting stuff i disagree with, or if they totally veer into a new fandom I’m not interested in. I’ve lost so many good blogs to kpop.

62: What makes you follow a blog? 

Idk, I like their stuff?

63: Favorite kind of person: 

Kind people.

64: Favorite animal(s): 

Pug.

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. 

I’m not going to start naming friends, cause I’ve got way more than three and I know I’m going to forget someone, so here’s 3 random blogs I enjoy: gmoringgnight, tinywhim, torsnavi

66: Favorite emoticon: 

I’m on my laptop, i don’t have emoticons right now, but probably the one where he’s crying laughing

67: Favorite meme: 

All of them. I love all the memes.

68: What is your MBTI personality type? 

I’m too drunk to remember right now, ask me tomorrow.

69: What is your star sign? 

Pisces

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? 

He cannot. He’s an idiot. But he can give you a high five, if that counts for something.

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? 

Leggings, T-Shirt, Hoodie. Whatever’s clean.

72: Post a selfie or two? 

No

73: Do you have platform shoes? 

No

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? 

I can solve a rubik’s cube

75: Can you do a front flip? 

LOL NO

76: Do you like birds? 

To look at, not to own or touch

77: Do you like to swim? 

Very much. In the water, it’s the one place my back doesn’t hurt.

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? 

Swimming. I don’t skate. I know, oh wow, a Canadian who can’t skate. Sue me.

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: 

Trump.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: 

Alex Clairmont-Diaz

81: Piercings you have? 

My ears are pierced.

82: Something you really enjoy doing: 

Reading

83: Favorite person to talk to: 

My mom

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? 

Amazing, finally a place I can be as weird as I want and it’s totally anonymous.

85: How many followers do you have? 

I have no idea.

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? 

HA no

87: Do your socks always match? 

Yes

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? 

When I was 14, they did a surgery where they put metal rods in my spine to keep it from growing crooked. My spine doesn’t bend at all. So I’ve never tried to touch my toes, but I’m going to go with no, I can’t.

89: What are your birthstones? 

I think Aquamarine? I don’t remember.

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? 

Koala. They sleep 22 hours a day.

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? 

I can’t think of any flowers right now beyond rose and tulip, and neither represent me. Is there a flower that’s really ugly? If so, that.

92: A store you hate? 

Gap. I despise that store with every escence of my being.

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 

None. It tastes like manure.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? 

Ooh, fly. No more wheelchair.

95: Do you like to wear camo? 

I don’t think i particularly like or dislike it. I just don’t wear it.

96: Winter or summer? 

SUMMER ALL THE TIME

97: How long can you hold your breath for? 

Not long at all. See explanation above, r.e. Cystic Fibrosis

98: Least favorite person? 

Trump

99: Someone you look up to: 

My mom

100: A store you love? 

Hot Topic. Yes, I’m basic like that. 

101: Favorite type of shoes 

Flats, cause I don’t have to attempt to bend over to put them on.

102: Where do you live? 

Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Yes, I’m serious.

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? 

Nope.

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? 

Wtf? Are people supposed to have a favourite mineral or gem?

105: Do you drink milk? 

No

106: Do you like bugs? 

No

107: Do you like spiders? 

NO

108: Something you get paranoid about? 

If I remembered to turn off my computer before I go to bed.

109: Can you draw: 

Nope

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? 

On a daily basis, people ask me why I use my scooter or my wheelchair. Every day. Not so much during the pandemic, but yeah.

111: A question you hate being asked? 

“When are you going to get a boyfriend?” “When are you going to settle down?” 

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? 

NOPE

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? 

Who doesn’t?

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? 

Cloudy, cause then I can stay indoors guilt-free

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: 

My dog. But he’s with my sister.

116: Favorite cloud type: 

???? Is this something I’m supposed to have an opinion on?????

117: What color do you wish the sky was? 

???? IDGAF ??????

118: Do you have freckles? 

No

119: Favorite thing about a person: 

Their laugh

120: Fruits or vegetables? 

Fruit

121: Something you want to do right now: 

Get another drink, but that’s probs not a great idea

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? 

Ocean

123: Sweet or sour foods? 

Sweet

124: Bright or dim lights? 

Dim

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? 

No

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: 

I can’t reblog ads. Some of those ads are really, REALLY funny.

127: Something you love about Tumblr: 

Completely anonymous. I could be anyone. For all you know, I’m actually Mike Pence. (I promise I’m not)

128: What do you think about the least? 

Idk? There’s probably lots of stuff I’ve never thought about at all

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? 

Nothing, but I want there to be a little machine on top that looks like a parking meter, and when you put money in it you get wifi for an hour.

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? 

Trump, most of the politicians in the states. I want to go to New York, and I can’t because y’all can’t get your shit together and kick this virus.

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? 

My face. Not going to elaborate.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

Yes, but only because I get yelled at if I don’t.

133: Computer or TV? 

Computer.

134: Do you like roller coasters? 

I used to. Then the back surgery and now I can’t anymore.

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? 

Motion sickness no, seasickness yes.

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? 

Lobed.

137: Do you believe in karma? 

I believe that what you do will eventually come back to bite you in the ass, but I don’t believe in some cosmic force that balances the scales.

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? 

0. Not going to elaborate.

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? 

None. My name has always been Adele. The few people who tried to give me nicknames got shot down real quick.

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? 

When I was little, yeah

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? 

Yes ma’am. For over a decade.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? 

Both at different times.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? 

Giving. I never know what to say when receiving.

144: What makes you angry 

A lot of things these days. Can’t think of anything specific. My sister, usually.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 

Two. I speak French and English.

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? 

Boys.

147: Are you androgynous? 

Nope.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: 

My face. Not going to elaborate.

149: Favorite thing about your personality: 

My “take no shit” attitude.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. 

Lin Manuel Miranda, Renee Elise Goldsberry, anyone from West Wing

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? 

Revolutionary America

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? 

I’ve been known to partake.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] 

Nope. I’m forever alone.

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? 

No. I have Asperger’s. No touching.

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? 

No.

156: What embarrasses you? 

When I need to ask for help for really simple things because of my wheelchair or other disabilities. I hate it.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: 

The future, for reasons way too complex to write in a tumblr post.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: 

I convinced half my second grade class I was related to Elton John once. That was fun. They believed it for like 3 months.

159: How many people are you following? 

Hundreds.

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 

I don’t even know how I would find that out.

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 

Right now, I have 12, but that’s because I’ve queued up the next 4 days HamiltonHungerGames. Usually, I have none. I don’t understand how people have drafts. When I feel like writing something on tumblr, I start a post, I end the post, I post it. I never use drafts

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? 

??? Again, I have no idea how to find that information.

163: Last time you cried and why: 

I honestly don’t remember.

164: Do you have long or short hair? 

Usually long, but right now short. My mom decided to give me a covid haircut, and she does not understand the meaning of “Just a trim”.

165: Longest your hair has ever been: 

Down to my butt. 

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? 

Dislike. I’m not going to talk about it here, but if you’re really curious you can dm me.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? 

Yes, because if we know where the universe and world came from, we can figure out where it’s headed. See the book Origins by Dan Brown.

168: Do you like to wear makeup? 

Not at all.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? 

I can barely stand on my feet for more than 30 seconds.

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? 

Tried to.

Ok, this took me an hour and 45 minutes. I’m tired, I’m drunk, I’m going to regret this in the morning, I’m going to bed. Night y’all.

[szopenhauer]

Are you the type of person who gets straight to the point?: I try my best to explain things but ppl still don’t understand the obvious

What was the last thing you said in complete caps?: not sure what was last

Do you enjoy playing board games?: some

Did you wear anything new today?: pineapple shirt my mom bought for me recently

Do you ever eavesdrop on people’s conversations?: hard not to when they’re so loud

Are you good at playing Hide and Go Seek?: I was because I’m tiny XD

Who or what made you smile last?: my thoughts 

What was the last song you had on repeat?: Daisy by Ashnikko :x

Do you often have that song on repeat?: no that was one time only lol  I hardly ever have a son on repeat, that happened like 5 times in my entire life, usually after breakup

Silly string or confetti?: fun but too messy and waste of money so none

How long is your favorite song?: about 3.50

What was the highlight of your day today?: it’s complicated

Do you tap your foot when you listen to music?: I tap but mostly due to anxiety ^^”

Would you rather use tape or glue?: tape 

Homemade or store bought cards?: store bought 

Do you listen to any hip hop?: nah

How about some lyrics?: I'm tired of weakness Tired of my feet of clay I'm tired of days to come I'm tired of yesterday And all the worn out things that I ever said Now it's much too late The words stay in my head (...) I'm tired of Facebook Tired of my failing health I'm tired of everyone And that includes myself Well being alone now It doesn't bother me But not knowing if you are That's been hell you see 

Have you ever had a fascination with stickers? slightly

Have you ever seen A Walk To Remember? yeah Did you ever watch Captain Planet? I did Do you think that Uggs are ugly? I love them Have you ever watched That ‘70’s show? meh Do you get along with your sibling’s friends? we don’t know each other Do you have a fashion icon? sorta, not really Do you think that iCarly is annoying? possibly

Have you ever had a really bad haircut? sadly

What are your favorite type of calendars? pocket?  Could you spend hours on pinterest? just a couple of minutes  Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? I liked that Who were your best friends in high school? K.K. E.E. E.W. Ż.B.

Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? bottom Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I got a note in elementary, it’s a mystery to this day, I thought that it’s a response from M.N. after I left him one myself but it seemed to be a prank done by girls who’ve been bullying me so I threw that piece of paper angrily at him like it was his fault - I still kinda remember what was written on it, they called me a flower and left a tiny drawing - later, forgot how, I found that note again and I believe I might still have it stored somewhere  What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? as a kid I had 1 sleepover (same school in which the note situation happened) my friend P.W. had puppies and I was allowed to stay for the night in her house Do you currently live in the city you grew up in? mhm What’s one way in which you’re behind the times? ex. getting a job  What’s one way in which you’re still a child? ex. collecting stuffed animals, lots What’s one way in which you’re old? ex. health issues Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? both at different times What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? money? Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? neither, I hold grudge and don’t trust the person again, at least for a long time  Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? in primary most of them were, in middle school: polish, biology, chemistry and math and in high: russian, english, PE and physics (but I probably shouldn’t count it as we had it for a few months) Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? - What time of day were you born? half past midnight, my mother asked me why I’m so lazy as for someone who was born on Saturday and I responded with - I was sleeping in and was late for Friday What is the best hairstyle you’ve ever had? can’t choose Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? I’m used to my color but I wouldn’t mind dyed hair Do you ever listen to Celtic music? me and John had a phase on that back in the day, I wish I remind the titles... Have you ever wanted to be a model, actress, singer, or dancer? actress When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? pfft Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? got darker, less red  Do you wear matching socks? always but recently I thought about changing that fact Do you have a seashell collection? Do you have a rock collection? small Flamingos or pineapples? both Cacti or seashells? same but it’s harder to take care of cacti than shells haha Maple tree or palm tree? palm, ppl say maple looks like weed - I don’t think this way but that’s annoying, still I’d prefer maple trees irl!  Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? wind chimes but not every kind Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? <3

Are you a pyromaniac? Bu is :P Are you a kleptomaniac? wtf Do you like to wear belts? it’s uncomfy and not good for my belly Would you ever get dreadlocks? I could but I won’t Do you listen to Eminem? no way

Does your sibling have a significant other? my sister is married 

When and why is the last time you cried (or at least, shed tears)? yesterday?

Have you ever cried at a real wedding? not that I been to many but no

What do your flipflops look like? don’t own any

Are there any gadgets of yours that need charging right now? my cellphone is charging

Which awards show would you wanna go to the most (e.g Oscars, Grammys etc.)? I wanna go to MET gala, nothing else

Any idea what time you’ll be going to bed tonight? late

Does your significant other like the same colour as you do? she hates my fav colors besides black 

Have you ever purchased anything online? obvi

Name all your friends whose name starts with the 4th letter of your first name. ...

Have you ever ridden an elephant? I’d like to (and camel and an ostrich and a horse)

Are you the candle lighting type? am not

Coffee in the morning, yay or nay? nay

Anal sex, yay or nay? hell no

Blue lipstick, yay or nay? okay, whatever

Is this question lame: “Have you had sex?” yep

Have you ever dated someone with really crooked teeth? mine are crooked

Would you rather vacation on the beach, or in the mountains? beach What embarrassing music do you listen to? too embarassed to write down? What’s your biggest talent? talented? me? r u kidding?

If you were a candy bar, what would you be? Milky Way? Would you rather ride in a hot air balloon or hang-glide? air balloon What’s one word you want people to use to describe you? truth is most important, everything else is less 

Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? tons of books

Are you more of a visual learner or an auditory learner? I learn best with my hands (kinesthetic) but visual is probably easier than auditory to me 

Do you have any dietary restrictions? ugh...

Do you prefer Google Maps, Apple Maps, Waze, or something else? I get lost no matter what

How old does someone have to be for you to see them as an adult? about my age or older

Do you ever ‘manspread’ when you sit down? sorry but I don’t sit like a lady - I sit like a lesbian unless there’s no space for that

When was the last time you were in a crowded place, and where was it? bus this day

Have you ever turned down a job offer? had to

What was the last medical appointment you scheduled? scheduled plenty at once

Have you ever had a dream in which you died? I die often, it’s a common element in my dreams, I’m fine with it by now

Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport?  oh well... majority of those times I was able to but once it was an accident and I missed my stop while going to school

Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? almost Have you seen all the Hunger Games films? yasss Why did you last go see a doctor? control visit about my IBS, GERD, food intolerances... Are you more logical or creative? depends

What do you currently hear? parents talking, music - iamamiwhoami; shadowshow 

Did you get enough sleep last night? I slept a little over 3 hours and I feel tired  Are the streetlights on? it’s not dark yet When you wear a hoodie, do you pull the sleeves over your hands? when it’s warm for that or they bother me in what I’m doing Are you in any advanced classes at school? w moim profilu miałam rozszerzone historię i WOK (wiedza o kulturze) Did you have a good day today? it wasn’t the worst (compared) and hope it won’t turn into complete shit 

[mcribel]

( ella purnell + 18 + muse 05 ) isn’t that maribel sawyer over there? i heard SHE joined faction one after they got back to west ham. it’s funny, ‘cause they were only on the service trip to do something kind. hopefully they fit in there – they’re TENDERHEARTED, but also BIDDABLE. oh, i’m sure they’ll be fine. ( james, she/they, 20, EST )

hello it’s me again !! i have really bad uuuhhhh self control so i brought in this sweetie !!

TW: PAST EATING DISORDER (MENTIONS ONLY), MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES.

a e s t h e t i c s

handwritten letters and ink-stained hands, vintage magnifying glasses and worn oxfords, knee-high socks and scraped knees, ribbons in hair and turtlenecks underneath dresses, dried flowers and locked up diaries, suede skirts and oversized cardigans, hot tea and cold coffee, flinching at loud noises, loud voices, record scratches and stumbles, stuttering words and beet-red faces, bitten nails and awkward stances, blankets laid out in the sun and the smell of newspapers.

general info !!

full name: maribel ottoline sawyer

nickname(s): mari, bell, lottie b/c middle name, etc. etc. just sawyer sometimes idk

b.o.d. - june 1st, 18 yrs old

label(s): the marionette, the demure, the obsequious, the allegiant, etc.

height: like 5′3″

hometown: duluth, minnesota

sexuality: ??? ??? ?????

stats TBD but her pinterest is HERE !

biography !!

born the middle child to a man in the air force and a woman whose passions laid among writing diet cookbooks and recording cooking DVDs, maribel was never anything extraordinary.

after all, her elder sister had a voice made for broadway, and her younger brother was writing sonnets before he’d hit middle school. and maribel was just maribel, another girl with middle child syndrome

her household was typical, conservative all-american, strict no matter where they moved. curfew before 9pm and family dinner every sunday, mandatory; better not miss out on those vegetables or you’ll be sitting there for hours. grounded for grades below their expected. the usual.

there wasn’t anything particularly interesting in her life for the longest time. she was just another shy girl who moved to school to school, quiet and seated in the very back of class, as if that’d allow her the coverage to remain unseen.

she couldn’t color in the lines, or follow the lines, or draw a straight line, the kind of gal who opened her mouth at the wrong time, whose voice got washed away by another’s interrupting. she got picked on at most schools, due to her size and her stumbling words, and she’d let it happen for the most part. always the wannabe, trying to be who she wasn’t.

it hadn’t helped that her mother was some sort of ... health food guru, a woman obsessed with image and the epitome of health - her practices were often forced upon maribel, especially, beginning in a long, difficult relationship with food.

by the time she was a freshmen in high school, her parents had divorced and, for a brief moment, mari thought she could finally settle down somewhere and become a normal teenager. this was until, of course, her mother enrolled her in a boarding school in nevada.

with her sister graduated and her brother still in middle school, mari was left alone in a strange school; the only constant being the cliques that surrounded herself and the money they waved around, as if it were nothing.

the only time she was ever really approached was because of her knack with forgery, a talent picked up after hours of mimicking others’ handwriting, an attempt to change every single part of her into someone likable.

often stayed in the computer labs during lunch and free periods, firstly because she’d never been allowed to have a computer at home (rots yr brain!) and secondly because she’d gotten into programming, and it was something she could actually ... see herself doing, potentially.

was alone in this until her sophomore year, when the next new kid found their way into the computer lab; the loser zone, the land of outcasts. this individual, despite their quirks and oddities, became maribel’s first genuine friend. they were a little too into conspiracies and mysteries, but that was alright.

soon enough, it started to rub off onto maribel, as well, who’d always been observant but not the kind of gal to put it to use. they became a tiny pair of investigators, p.i.’s without the certification, investigating petty school drama that was usually written on the inside of a bathroom stall.

essentially a less impressive nancy drew / scooby doo gang / veronica mars duo.

surprisingly ! beginning junior year, maribel got involved with the weed and underaged drinking and whatnot b/c her like, very best friend was doing it and she wanted to be...impressive, i guess?

so then they became stoner detectives. about halfway thru their junior year is when things got uuhh ... complicated.

one night they were just, y’know, getting high and other typical teenager things. and then someone started talking about aliens, and then area 51, and then they both became increasingly aware that they were living in nevada and Not Too Far from the airbase.

long story short, they attempted to break into area 51. they got caught, got charged with trespassing and had to be bailed out of county jail, maribel’s dad almost lost his job, and her best friend disappeared without a trace almost immediately afterwards. spooky shit !

this is when her mother packed up and moved them to west ham, kansas ! it was for a ~fresh start~ but really was just a way to keep her eye on maribel.

i mean, god, for the rest of her junior year maribel was miserable. she was a student at west ham high but like ... god, she hardly spoke to anyone. drug tested every week, essentially on some sort of form of house arrest.

wasn’t really allowed to get a job during this either ! so she made money by anonymously creating and selling fake I.D.’s b/c like ... yolo, y’know? why not?

her mental health deteriorated during this and by the summer before her senior year she was getting help for an eating disorder. she was essentially gone the entire summer, but like ... doubt anybody noticed tbh !

by the time senior year rolled around, maribel was in a better place and was like ... determined not to fall into a bad headspace again. her anxiety’s still pretty strong but ! she’s trying !

uuh started working for the school newspaper as a help column under a fake name b/c ! this was her way of branching out and getting to know students w/o actually doing it lmao.

took a few of her classes online so she could leave school earlier, just b/c it was a major source of anxiety for her and like ... she couldn’t eat alone in the bathroom again. her mom was a little less ... restrictive, so maribel got a job.

or well ... she got a lot of jobs. maribel, being maribel, can hardly keep a job b/c she usually ends up fucking up real badly in an almost comical manner and getting fired.

on the otherhand, she had earned herself a partial scholarship and was debating over majoring in computer science or investigative journalism (her parents were very disapproving of her doing computer science, however, so she was likely to be forced into journalism) ... until the trip.

she went as a simple act of kindness, y’know, to give back to the community that she hardly knew.

and now here we are !! joining faction one b/c she knows of everybody there and they’re all her age and like ... she can’t be on her own or she’d actually die lmao so !

personality !!

god ... she’s awkward. like just, straight up awkward. she’s real bad at talking to others.

always tripping and stumbling over her words, and occasionally her own two feet. she’s constantly jittery and just like ... fidgety b/c she’s usually nervous. touch her hand. it’s shaking. why? she doesn’t know !

however maribel is like ... very very very nice. tries really hard to be kind to everybody and tries really hard 2 be a good pal to whoever makes their way into her life.

sorta kinda like ... adjusts her personality 2 match whoever she’s talking to b/c she wants to be likable. oh, you smoke marlboros? me too ! proceeds to cough a lung after inhaling one (1) cigarette. that sort of shit.

used to smoke a lot of weed but ! didn’t really do it that much in recent months. might increase now that her mom isn’t around but you never know. uuhh the rare times that she does drink it’s like ... a complete flip in her personality. becomes ms. extrovert, a flirt of flirts. but that’s very rare.

very hesitant with befriending people even tho she ! desperately wants friends ! she’s just a little untrusting ... a little worrisome ... believes she’s cursed to be a friendless loser for the rest of her life. so she’s definitely like .. a try hard too.

i mean like i don’t think ‘no’ is in her vocabulary ! she’ll do anything if u ask and like .. sound like u really want it. really just is seeking approval whenever possible.

squeaks like a mouse :/

rambles ! when she’s nervous ! and apologizes a lot.

she’s just like ... insecure and doesn’t expect anybody 2 remember her from anything jskdfg

easily bends to other’s will, easily manipulative / easy 2 step on / etc. etc.

she does smile and like ... laughs a lot tho ! b/c she tries rly hard to come off as like happy and optimistic and like ... not having deep-rooted issues with herself. 

she’s a good kid, just a lil plain jane. can’t talk for shit but has given good written advice b4. is good w/ math n numbers but not much anything else.

she is really observant !! doesn’t rly use it to her advantage tho :/ she just makes mental notes ... writes shit in her diary b/c she 100% keeps n writes in her diary daily. 

sort of lies abt herself too ! like it’s nothing serious but like ... she doesn’t rly want others to know how lame she is sdifkg

can be ... ditzy , lacking common sense, a little naive ... just wants everything to be okay :(

loves vintage stuff ! owns p much only vintage stuff ! also listens 2 like ... records exclusively like the dork she is. like soft indie pop and other shit.

has probably cried 2 mitski but like ... who hasn’t :/

literally only turned 18 like ... a few days ago ... she’s baby ...

wanted connections !!

god okay ... so like obv i would like some friends for her ... varying degrees of closeness.

idk somebody she has crushed on before / is crushing on currently .. but like, from afar, like she’d never talk to them but she can look !! and dream !! and write their names together in her diary

somebody use her b/c she’s so naive n like ... usable. idk what for but ! anything ! get her to steal shit ! get her to wreck shit or to lie for you or whatever !

like ... fake friends ... ppl who’ll throw her away once her purpose is done

alternately !! something pure n wholesome.

ALTERNATELY srsly though. wreck her shit. convince her you care for her n then betray her !!

conspiracy pals ... for the rare times she gets high ...

someone she flirted with once while drunk at like a party and now she’s embarrassed and avoids them :/

an ex-tutor b/c ... don’t think school’s in session anymore ...

ppl who genuinely want the best for her and like ... care for her as a living person.

someone who just cant stand ! that she’s so weak minded and malleable ! and rather than use her they just ... clash with her. cause arguments even tho maribel doesn’t rly... do that.

like someone just yell at her sdikfg

someone has to get her out of a sticky situation and they’re like ... Annoyed. might not wanna admit it but ! and she just feels bad

ppl who she’s definitely given a fake I.D. to

ppl who literally forgot she existed dkfmghg

someone for her to follow around like a lil puppy and sidekick !! b/c she doesn’t have a single independent thought !! someone she’s just rly trying to impress

someone found her diary and oh no ! it’s embarrassing !

c o r r u p t  h e r. idk how ! seduce her ! make her look at the world differently ! ruin her ! DESTROY HER !

literally ... anything ...pleathe ... i’ll give u a penny. 

[hypersensitiveheart]

Questions for fun

All about me  1: Full name: Duchess is the only name I give online 2: Age: 30  3: 3 Fears: Men, Pigs, bugs 4: 3 things I love: JJBA, sweet foods, Soda 5: 4 turns on: Intelligence, Common sense, Well Read, Sense of Humor .6: 4 turns off: Arrogance, Rudeness, Drug use, Drinking  7: My best friend: He-man ( My husband), And Wonder Woman (My mother) 8: Sexual orientation: Demisexual 9: My best first date: My first date with He-man, at our local mall 10: How tall am I: Tiny. Three inches over five feet. 11: What do I miss: My grandma. 12: What time were I born: 11 am. Which is weird considering I hate mornings and mostly sleep through them.  13: Favourite color: Blue  14: Do I have a crush: He-Man, Jotaro, Sabretooth, And many other fictional characters.  15: Favourite quote:  16: Favourite place: My sisters house.  17: Favourite food: Tacos  18: Do I use sarcasm: So often that I am always asked if I am serious or not.  19: What am I listening to right now: Motley Crue .20: First thing I notice in new person: Eyes. Height.  21: Shoe size: 9  22: Eye color: Greyish Blue 23: Hair color: Now, light brown, natural Blonde.  24: Favourite style of clothing: Comfy, or punk.  25: Ever done a prank call?: No.  27: Meaning behind my URL: Simply, my name for my blog.  28: Favourite movie: I have many so I’ll just pick one this time and say Boo York, Boo York.  29: Favourite song: True Colors- Cyndi Lauper, My idol.  30: Favourite band: Blondie 31: How I feel right now: Not great.  32: Someone I love: Opal.  33: My current relationship status: Married 34: My relationship with my parents: Great. We all love each other and live together.  35: Favourite holiday: Christmas.  36: Tattoos and piercing i have: 3 tattoos, 3 piercings. 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: I don’t want any more piecings, but many more tattoos.  38: The reason I joined Tumblr: My friend showed it to me, back in like 2009? 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: He didn’t love me, like at all, but I was crazy about him for years. I should have the word idiot tattooed on me.  40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: No.  41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: Considering it was He-man, yes I did.  42: When did I last hold hands?: Walking with He-man Saturday 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: I’ve never timed it. I wake up, Brush my hair ETC. I don’t wear make up and usually just put my hair in a pony tail.  44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: No.  45: Where am I right now?: My home.  46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: I don’t drink.  47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: I do both depending on what mood I am in.  48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: Yes, and we couldn’t be happier to be together.  49: Am I excited for anything?: No.  50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: He-man.  51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: Not very often. I’m not the best at hiding my emotions.  52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: Like 30 minutes ago.  53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: Probably immediately die from a broken heart.  54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: No. I barley trust anyone. There’s a reason I don’t ever put my photo on the internet, and it is not what people would think it is.  55: What is something I disliked about today?: Everything. But I’m trying to turn a negative into a positive.  56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: A respectable Pastor, who is not a snake oil salesman like all the ones I’ve met, who I could actually talk to.  57: What do I think about most?: He-man, and Wonder Woman. Also I’m haunted. So that takes up a lot of time.  58: What’s my strangest talent?: I can bend my toes backwards.  59: Do I have any strange phobias?: Pigs. Bugs. Water, all sea life.  60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: Behind. I refuse to have my photo taken.  61: What was the last lie I told?: I’m okay.  62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: Neither. Texting or instant messenger.  63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts, yes I’ve seen them. Aliens, I have no clue, and don’t honestly care. 64: Do I believe in magic?: Certain types of it yes.  65: Do I believe in luck?: YES! And I only say this with such assurance because I have the worst luck in the entire universe.  66: What’s the weather like right now?: Sunny. It’s disgusting. Where is the rain, and dreary days I love so much.  67: What was the last book I’ve read?: Mara Wilson’s book.  68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: No.  69: Do I have any nicknames?: Yeah.  70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?: I’m having a complete hysterectomy, with removal of the ovaries and tubes so I’m assuming that will be it.  71: Do I spend money or save it?: I don’t have any to do either.  72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?: The very bottom.  73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?:Yes 74: Favourite animal?: Swan 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: Reading 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?: Sample.  77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: Heart of glass- Blondie 78: How can you win my heart?: It belongs to He-man. Sorry. 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?: Finally Free. 80: What is my favorite word?: Pamplemousse  81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: I don’t know.  82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: Love each other. Be kind. Stop all the hatred.  83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: Yes, I also have quite a few that belong there, and have been in and out their whole adult life.  84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: Flight.  85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: What do you look like.  86: What is my current desktop picture?: Monster high 87: Had sex?: Yes 88: Bought condoms?: Yes 89: Gotten pregnant?: No 90: Failed a class?: Yes91: Kissed a boy?: Yes 92: Kissed a girl?: Yes 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: Maybe? It wasn’t anything romantic.  94: Had job?: Yes .95: Left the house without my wallet?: Yes 96: Bullied someone on the internet?: No.  97: Had sex in public?: No 98: Played on a sports team?: yes 99: Smoked weed?: Yes 100: Did drugs?: No 101: Smoked cigarettes?: Yes 102: Drank alcohol?: I have before, but I really don’t like the taste 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: No. I don’t like meat, but there is some certain types that I will eat.  104: Been overweight?: Yes.  105: Been underweight?: no. 106: Been to a wedding?: Yes 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: Yes, I’m a writer.  108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?: Yes 109: Been outside my home country?: No 110: Gotten my heart broken?: Yes 111: Been to a professional sports game?: A college basketball game. 112: Broken a bone?: Toes 113: Cut myself?: Yes 114: Been to prom?: Yes 115: Been in airplane?:no 116: Fly by helicopter?: No 117: What concerts have I been to?: I saw ted nugent play at our county fair. 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: No 119: Learned another language?:no 120: Wore make up?: Yes 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?: no 122: Had oral sex?: Yes 123: Dyed my hair?: Oh god yes.  124: Voted in a presidential election?: Yes 125: Rode in an ambulance?: No 126: Had a surgery?: Yes 127: Met someone famous?: Locally famous, yes.  128: Stalked someone on a social network?: No 129: Peed outside?: No 130: Been fishing?: Yes 131: Helped with charity?: Yes 132: Been rejected by a crush?: yes 133: Broken a mirror?: Yes 134: What do I want for birthday?: I already had mine this year.  135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?: None. 136: Was I named after anyone?: My grandmother and my aunt suzi and I all share the same middle name. 137: Do I like my handwriting?: no 138: What was my favourite toy as a child?: Polly pocket and my little pony toys 139: Favourite Tv Show?: Matlock 140: Where do I want to live when older?: Who knows. 141: Play any musical instrument?: No.  142: One of my scars, how did I get it?: I have one scar on my leg from when a dog ripped me open and took out a big hunk.  143: Favourite pizza toping?: Extra Cheese 144: Am I afraid of the dark?: Sometimes. 145: Am I afraid of heights?: Somtimes 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?: Yup 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?: Story  of my life yo.  148: What I’m really bad at: Math 149: What my greatest achievments are: A happy Marriage.  150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: There’s too many of these to pick. I get told something like this every single day of my life.  151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay debt, buy a house.  152: What do I like about myself: I have good hair.  153: My closest Tumblr friend: Taima.  154: Something I fantasise about: Flying.  155: Any question you’d like?: No thank you. �㫲���kS�}

[southparkhighrpg]

Sally Bands - Accepted

Congratulations, Oli! Welcome to South Park High! Remember to send us your account within 48 hours of acceptance! If you ever need time extension to make the account, message the mods.

1. Mun information

Preferred Name: Oli

Age: 18

Pronouns: he/him

Timezone: est

Activity Level(Scale 1-10): 6

Discord: 

Password: Eric Cartman is a fatass

2. Muse Information

Muse’s name: Sally Bands

Age: 16

Birthday: May 10th

Height: 5'5

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Gender/Pronouns: Cis female, she/her

3. Personality (two paragraph)

Frankly, Sally doesn’t give two fucks… about anything. She’s full of attitude and isn’t afraid to speak her mind. She comes off pretty crass most days, her unfiltered vernacular ringing true to her thoughts. She hangs out with the rowdy crowd, loving the attention she gets from it. She doesn’t care about the long term; Sally would rather live every moment she can in the present instead of worrying about grade and her future. The future will come when it does and she’ll worry about it when she gets there. Who has time for studying when there’s weed to be smoked and cute boys to make out with.

Sally is tough and she is fearless. She refuses take no for an answer and will use any means necessary to get her way. She’s manipulative, batting her eyelashes and swaying her hips to get you to give her the answers to the homework, your last gram for free, that soda you just bought.  She doesn’t fuck around and everyone knows it. A wild child at heart, you can find Sally doing just about anything to give her an adrenaline rush. She’s a Great Dane in a Chihuahua’s body. She’s brave and pushes herself past her limits and tends to forget that she’s only 14 and as thick as a twig.

4. Appearance (two paragraph)

Sally is about 5’7 and weighs approximately 130 pounds, standing tall compared to her other classmates. She’s lean in stature but athletically so. Her naturally straight, silken blonde locks fall down her back and shine gold in the sunlight. She’s taller than most girls in her class, allowing for her to have a bit of an ‘alpha dog’ demeanor in her posture. Sally has tan skin that gives her a radiating glow, despite living in South Park her entire life.

She has bright blue eyes that add the finishing touch to her ever-present resting bitch face. She’s got a thin nose and thin lips with a round face that, despite all the makeup she wears, gives away her age. Sally’s makeup is typically always done and pristine, like every other instagram model you see promoting juice cleanses. Sally’s appearance tends to garner attention in a ‘holy shit she’s bangin’ kind of way. She’s a bombshell. She wears thrasher hoodies un-ironically and her longboard is a staple of her daily attire. She wears skinny jeans on the daily and-when she can-steals hoodies and tops to wear from her friends Filmore and Carlos. Sally dresses the exact opposite of your girl next door; she appears more like the girl you bump a line with behind the gym during class: hot and dangerous.

7. Name at least 5 headcanons Listens to trap music mostly, but you can occasionally catch her going hard to some One Direction

Most of her hoodies she steals from Carlos and Filmore.

She’s a bit of a bully and she’s unashamed by that.

Sally always has a sprite in hand. It’s her favorite soda and by this point she’s probably more sprite than she is Sally.

Has had run-ins with the law before, but prefers not to talk about them unless they were run-ins had with her friends. Her solo escapades just aren’t as exciting.

8. Write two decent sized paragraphs that shows how you would portray your muse “Fuck,” Sally groaned, rubbing her light-sensitive eyes as she sat up in bed. Light shone through the curtains she had draped over her window, giving no answer as to what time of the day it might be. “What time is it?” She asked aloud. Sally couldn’t remember if anyone had spent the night with her last night, and she wanted to test the waters before assuming she was alone. When her question was met with silence, she sighed in relief and flung her bare, slender legs over the side of her bed and slid down onto the floor. The tile was cold beneath Sally’s feet, adding temporary relief to the achiness she felt; she’d drank more last night than she had in a long time.

Her mother had left the liquor cabinet unlocked and Sally wasted no time in taking as much as she could before her mother realized her mistake. She stretched her arms above her head with a satisfied groan before bending down to search for her phone under the mass of clothes on her floor, finding it under a pair of old, floral printed pajama shorts. It lit up brightly amidst the darkness of her bedroom, causing her to wince in pain.

She had four messages from Flora, one from Filmore, and a surprising six from Carlos. She opened Carlos’ messages, and was unsurprised to see nothing but memes and links to songs on soundcloud. Sally rolled her eyes before tapping in his number. It rang twice before his raspy, grouchy morning voice echoed through the speaker asking her what the fuck she wanted. “Dude, you would not believe what happened last night. I’ve got some leftover shrooms if you’re trying to skip and trip?”

[kitcklehm]

kit klehm Enjoy Your Own Organic Produce With These Tips

kit klehm Proficient tips provider. Is there really a secret to successful gardening? People who are unsuccessful at growing fruits and vegetables seem to think so. But the truth of the matter is that anyone can garden organically if they only receive the right information. Use these great gardening tips to go organic and to get that garden you've always wanted.

If you have a vegetable garden and plan on eating the vegetables, you should inspect them carefully every week. Look for bugs and worms or traces of disease and damages. Do not eat a vegetable that does not look healthy. Make sure you wash your vegetables carefully before you cook them.

Pick garden vegetables often and early. While immature, many types of vegetables are very tasty in their young phase. Snap peas, little summer squash, cucumbers, and budding broccoli can be picked to keep the plants in a state of reproduction for a longer period of time. This will also increase yields with a second harvest off of the same plants.

If you want to grow fruit trees but have limited space on your property, consider dwarf fruit trees. Many fruit trees are available in dwarf varieties, including apple, peach and pear. These trees typically reach approximately three to eight feet. Not only do they take up less room and produce lots of delicious fruit, but their low height makes it easier to harvest the fruit.

Easily dry herbs using your car. Your car is the perfect place to dry herbs, providing a safe, dry, and warm location. Simply place some newspaper or other protection on a car seat, and arrange the herbs in a single, even layer. Make sure the windows are rolled up, and close up the car. Your herbs will be dry and ready to store. Length of time will depend on the temperature, but can be as little as an hour or two. As a bonus, your car will smell wonderful!

kit klehm Skilled tips provider. When gardening, be sure to use proper posture. Don't lift with your back, and try to bend at the knees instead of at the waist. Keep your back straight when bending over. This allows you to use stronger and more flexible muscle groups to lift, and also protects your spine.

Carefully plan your garden first. Doing this makes it easier to keep track of where you planted what when you first start to see sprouts. With a plan, you will also be less likely to lose track of small groups or individual plants within a large and ambitious garden.

Pay attention to the temperatures in your garden. When it is early, or late, in the season there is a chance that your plants could be exposed to frost. Freezing temperatures will cause many plants to die, and some that live will not produce at the level they would have otherwise.

Make sure air can circulate around your plants, and keep leaves moisture-free. If your plants get too moist, they may get sick or infested with parasites. Fungi is the most common parasite for plants. Fungus can be handled with sprays specifically formulated for fungi control, but you must treat the area with spray before seeing any kind of problems.

Save the water when you cook pasta for use in your garden. If you have ever boiled pasta in water, you have seen the cloudy state of the water when you drain the pasta. This water is loaded with starch, which is quite nutritious for plants. Make sure to let the water cool thoroughly, as hot water can damage and even kill plant roots.

Save your eggshells to use as a soil additive. Crushed eggshells add much needed calcium to your garden, and working the shells in also helps keep the soil aerated. A barrier made of crushed eggshells and placed in a ring around your plants can also protect them from snails and slugs. Their delicate bodies are cut and scratched by the jagged eggshells, making them avoid those sections of the garden.

To save money on seeds, only use a small portion of the packet. In most cases, only a pinch of seeds are necessary, and seeds can easily be stored for the following year. You can also try splitting seed packets with your neighbors and friends. This is a great way to garden on a budget.

To make weeds easier to spot, be sure to plant all your flowers in a straight line. A more unusual layout may be visually interesting, but it gives weeds plenty of places to hide. Keeping your garden simple will make weeds and diseases easier to locate and simpler to get rid of.

Weed control in your organic garden will be more challenging than a conventional garden because you can't use chemical herbicides. One of the best ways to control weeds without using chemicals is creating ground cover with mulch. Save tree trimmings and grass clippings from elsewhere in your garden and spread them around your plants to a depth of about 3 inches. This should be enough to prevent weeds from germinating and growing.

Use compost to improve the quality of your soil. Compost comes from the breakdown of natural vegetation, and it is organic. It improves the structure of your soil by making it less dense, thus allowing better water permeability. Compost can also be used to balance the pH level of your soil.

kit klehm Best service provider. Composting is a great way to fuel your garden. You can add pretty much anything, like grass clippings, shredded paper, coffee grounds, and much more. Basically, you can use anything that was living at one time (but try to avoid animal products). If you buy some worms and keep the compost bin in a warm, sunny place it will turn into perfectly dark and rich soil in no time.

Secrets aren't really well-kept in the world of organic gardening, so you can't really call them secrets at all. What you're looking for is thorough and accurate information like what you've just read in the article above. If you can find this, you can become a successful organic gardener. Make sure you use this information.

[ancientchinesesolutions]

Payton Milton’s “beginning” .

Allow me to begin - from what I would call - the beginning... It was September of 2012, I had just turned 18 the month before. One day upon waking up, I remember looking around my room - seeing that everything remained (physically) the same - "This is definitely my room...", I thought "But something is NOT the same." but even to this day, I could not explain to you for sure why that was. I sat there for a while before thinking hysterically before I left my bedroom, hoping that my mother who I lived with at the time, wouldn't look me in the eyes and I remember thinking this thought, and thinking "WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH ME. Why am I afraid to look my mom in the eyes?" and the answer to the question hit me like a ton of bricks "Because I know she can feel my thoughts... & I don't want her to know." This answer did not leave me feeling well. Fast forward a few months - I had quit smoking weed, started working out every day, & researching brain health, taking supplements such as ginkgo biloba, and attempting to meditate (I say attempting because I would usually just wind up putting myself to sleep). All to no avail, my anxiety was constant, and much worse around people. The only people I felt comfortable around anymore were people who could easily take me out if I did anything wrong. It was as if I had this constant nagging in my brain, telling me I was a threat to everyone around me, it was seemingly inescapable. I spent a few years living my life like this... It was quite the excruciating existence & I wasn’t sure it would ever end. I remember at one point, I was working in the back of a pizza shop, sincerely missing the feeling of boredom, wondering if I would ever be able to find a wife to have kids with in the state of mind I couldn't seem to alleviate, or escape. I was determined to live my life - I was not brave enough to commit suicide is what I would tell myself, and so, this wreckage of what was once a proud young man, continued on. It was not long after this that I reconnected with a friend of mine who shared the same experience as me, her name was Sarah. She had just began dating a Qi Gong teacher, and she wanted to introduce me to him. So she picked me up from that same pizza shop, and we went over to his place. She had asked him to guide us through a Qi Gong form, and he did. I thought it was pretty cool, I didn't really think to much of it in the beginning. Over the next couple months we all spent at least one day a week hanging out, and he had guided us through the same form 3 times - thats when I decided to stop being guided and start learning. So I observed him as carefully as possible, asked him questions about the different moves involved in the form, and was able to remember the entire form on my own. That is when I began my individual practice. At the time I was training myself in Muay Thai drills using YouTube, I spent about an hour per day doing this - but the Qi Gong form I had learned from Mark, my teacher, seemed to be what I wanted to do instead. So every other day I replaced my Martial Arts practice with this Qi Gong form for just less than two weeks I was practicing Qi Gong every other day for about an hour. One day - I had a vision about half way through my Qi Gong form - my first, full waking vision ever... I was flying over mountains, through clouds on the back of a giant Black - Gold trimmed Chinese Dragon, who appeared to be swimming through the Sky. He spoke to me without words and in essence, this is what he said "I am sorry for taking so long to get to you, but you must understand how small you truly are compared to the bigger things I must tend to, I had to wait until you were in between my larger callings, and here you are... & if you want to help me... This is how you can do it." I was filled to the brim with purpose for life in that moment. The thing he wanted me to do was spread the Art of Qi Gong. My anxiety was lifted, & I haven't struggled with it since. When it would rear its head at me, I would find it laughable - and I would begin my Qi Gong breathing. This was during the Late Spring/Early Summer of 2015, my 21st birthday was right around the corner. Over the next few months I had begun developing my Qi Gong practice into nothing short of a miracle - it seems I have the best luck when it comes to stumbling across amazingly authentic lineages in my Arts & Practices. I started seeing things like energy sparks, which made me feel with absolutely no doubt I knew what they meant, their origin, and was able to confidently respond to them. These newfound perceptions baffled & amazed me - how do you tell people you can see energy? & that meditating with specific movements & intentions in a certain order brought these new awarenesses to light? Well the short answer is - you can't. Not if you want people to take you seriously and not treat you like a loon! It was around this time I got a girlfriend, and not long after that my younger brother came down with the same anxiety that I had experienced. I was excited - because I had already found the cure. All he had to do was listen to me... I did not foresee what happened in the coming month as a possibility. Long story short I did not treat my brother with the amount of kindness that he required to be drawn into the only solution I was able to find in those long 3 years of anxiety. He ended up attempting to take his own life and failing once, but if there was something that anybody who knew my brother well should know about him. It's that He was determined, and He always got what He set out to get. September 7th, Labor Day, 2015 - He had an episode & stole my dads car. Driving straight off a 3-way intersection onto HWY 9 in Snohomish, WA at about 120 MPH he hit a tree, and got stuck as the car burned up. Ending his life... He had spent the last couple weeks of his life making amends with people he felt he ought to. His values shifted dramatically, from being an entrepreneur to wanting to heal people. I was so excited to spend our future pursuing the same path, pushing each other to be greater through brotherly competition. You could say what I miss most about my brother is the future we never had. This happening brought me great despair - which I have transformed into another reason to spread the Ancient Chinese Healing Art that brought back my ability to feel at peace. I was to start college later that September. To save you some time it was short lived, and I did not return for the second quarter. Traditional school was never really my strong suit. I needed something I was truly interested in to shine, & I never really found that within the school system. So I began searching for residential/live-in Martial Arts schools. You would be surprised at how very few of these you can actually find, I found none within the United States when I originally searched (for hours upon hours & multiple days). I eventually found Nam Yang retreat in Thailand. It was a Kung Fu retreat, they trained full-time - 35 Hours of training a week were scheduled. Included in their tuition was room & board, breakfast & dinner, but what really drew me in was their reputation for practicing Qi Gong (They spell it Chi Kung, but it really is the same thing).  Master Iain Armstrong performs various Qi demonstrations, including washing his face with broken glass, slapping a chain lit on fire, being kicked in the groin, and even bending swords & spears with the soft spot on his neck! This was just amazing to me, and the decision practically made itself. I signed up for their teacher training program as soon as I could get the funds together. I flew out and arrived Nov. 1st, 2017 to begin my training. I had never really been in an official teaching position before my time spent training with Master Iain, and I wouldn't find this out until earlier this year (2019), but man am I glad that he was the first man to teach me how to teach. His teaching methods are refined to a point of genius. Everything from day one compiles with perfect synchronicity well into the 4th month, and by that time, I had become my own best teacher. That is not to say I have nothing more to learn from him. What it means is that I understood the concepts that make up the Tiger-Crane Art to the point where I knew that developing myself further required constant contradictions, & variations in my training. There was never "nothing" that needed improvement. To improve one aspect you must, at times, break another. Just to come back and re-develop the broken aspect until both, contradicting motions, were able to be performed simultaneously, coinciding with perfect order & execution. In order to expand, you must contract, in order to push more effectively, you must practice how to pull better. The list of contradictions is practically endless, and they are all true! One of the most amazing things I had the pleasure of learning & experiencing was the synchronicities I discovered between Qi Gong & Kung Fu. The Horse riding stance, taught to us allowed the torso to expand even larger than embryonic breathing by itself does, and I have always been a big believer in the little differences. Everything has a point where it must reach in order to achieve its purpose, and without reaching that point, the miracle of Qi Gong & Kung Fu will not be realized. By the time I left Nam Yang, I earned my Instructor's certificate, granting me permission to teach the Tong Ling Chi Kung, Shuang Yang, & Tiger-Crane Kung Fu under the Nam Yang name. That was back in July of 2018, & perhaps the biggest accomplishment thus far in my life. Upon returning to the US of A, I began to establish a student base. This proved to be phenomenally difficult! Over the span of a year I managed to teach about six Qi Gong students, and one in both Kung Fu & Qi Gong. I struggled to charge my students, as I was having a difficult time putting a price upon these Ancient Chinese Arts that I sincerely believe transcend monetary value. (How do you put a price on effectively treating severe anxiety?) I also struggled with justifying the cost of a studio's upkeep, and as a result, hymned and hawed as I attempted to get more students interested in my services, usually just in an effort to spread the word about me. I was making no money, traveling to and from my students (who were usually over an hour away), you could say that in a way I was paying to teach. I needed a change! I wanted a reset, a change of pace. I wanted to leave society behind and disappear into the mountains for some isolated training - after all, I could easily spend 35 hours a week training without the stresses of today's world upon me. There was just one hang up... I was not confident in my ability to take care of myself, and I couldn't justify the lack of nutrition that would come without knowing how to properly forage, and hunt or fish. Thats when I began researching how to survive in the wilderness, & I came across Joshua Hamlin's & Rob Allen's survival YouTube Channel. I paid a visit to their website, and saw them offering a 45-day Wilderness Survival Instructor Course, in which they claimed to be able to teach you how to confidently survive in the wilderness - with just a knife. That was exactly what I needed in order to disappear into the mountains with confidence. It didn't take long before I convinced myself to sign up. I was absolutely thrilled to add survival to my teaching arsenal. I thought, “What if I could teach people how to confidently train themselves to become competent Martial Artists & awaken/improve their awareness by practicing Qi Gong & Meditation in the Wilderness...?” My vision had transformed! I had developed a passion for teaching, and I couldn't imagine anything more awesome than being able to teach people everything they'd need to know to confidently isolate in the wilderness, and train - not only their body, but their mind, to become the most effective instrument of being possible! Prior to attending the 45-day Wilderness Survival Instructor Course at Sigma 3 Survival School, I had no idea how great of a teacher Master Iain had truly crafted me to be. My standards of expectation were very high considering the price that I paid... To my dismay, it seemed the Instructor program was designed to weed out the weak, ensuring that only the best will filter through & earn their Instructor's certificate. A sound plan really. It is survival after all.In the beginning I abhorred this approach, and was extremely upset about it - but I refused to be defeated so easily. In addition to building shelters, fire making, procuring water, and foraging for sustenance or creating medical supplies with, we learned other various crafts necessary to sustain yourself inevitably with more ease in the wilderness, like making baskets & cordage... But the two most important lessons I learned were these; 1) How truly great my standard is for teaching my own students, and the value that it holds. 2) If you want something, and you have the means to create a functional version that fills that void - it is better to fill that void with something barely functional, than to put it off thinking that a perfect/ideal version is the only thing worth your time & effort.

[fuckawah]

all questions for oxenfree. :>

oh man. oooooooh man, and it’s not even my birthday.(question sheet!)

1. what otp/s in your fandom do you just not get?weed beanies. i’m not here for it. i’m super not here for it. they just hate each other sfm, and by the end of it, those layers of distrust are just so copious that i don’t see it ever being feasible? also like, the one superficial hangup i have on it is that people who are very anti-smoking, like ren, wouldn’t tolerate a smoker, like jonas. it’s a huge deal-breaker tbh and if they’re that cold-shouldered, it’d probably wash them out.

2. are there any popular otps you only brotp?alex and jonas. alex and jonas. alex and jonas. al  e x   and  j o  n a s . ya fkn don’t. i am not here for that brady bunch shit, even when we’re in a michael-lives loop. especially when we’re in a michael lives loop. alex is so adamant when she refers to jonas as a brother. in flashbacks, in the ending where she calls him her “other brother...” this is appalachian and i will not hear any of it. 

3. have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?god no. 

4. do you have a notp? are they a popular otp?yes and yes. see 1 & 2. i’m also not a huge proponent of poly ships, so the ren/nona/jonas three-way doesn’t do it for me.

5. has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?not in the oxenfam, no.

6. has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?i wouldn’t call it a hate, but i really didn’t see the appeal of alex/nona until i engaged more with the fandom. i just love ren so much, and didn’t think alex would step on his toes like that? but if he cooled his jets on nona long enough to let alex skate in wearing shades and carrying a boombox, sure thing. 

7. is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?let me tell you about claris ---- . nah man. i’m pretty easy-going there. 

8. have you ever received anon hate? what about?nope. and for nothing fandom-wise at all, really. except for that one thing, hunger games fandom.

9. most disliked characters? why?i actually love them all. i think they’re all dynamic, they’re excellently written, and there’s something noteworthy and fun in every single one of them. michael is my most disliked by default. you get a good impression of him, but it’s harder to emotionally invest in him when he’s dead.

10. most disliked arc? why?there aren’t any story elements i’d really pick a bone with, except one. it isn’t an arc, though, so i’m saving it for later.

11. is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? why?ren! the general consensus is that ren is kind of a drainer, but i really, really love him. he’s endearing, he’s funny, and he reminds me of someone i love a lot. i completely understand people who have problems with recreational drug users and how this affects their behavior, and that people think this is really intrinsic to ren’s character ---- but if you spend more time with him, and you really let him talk in group scenes, there’s just such a fondness between him and alex that seems so important to them both. i cannot hurt that boy. i need him to be ok. 

12. is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? why?does the loop count? does the ending count? i know people were dissatisfied with alex being trapped for eternity, but that’s good horror for you. the fact that she never really wins, that she is eternally punished, and that she truly suffers a fate worse than death... it’s established in the game+ that this isn’t all for nothing. that one girl’s sacrifice saves infinite more from suffering unnecessarily. it’s a perfect ending for a game that’s all about fate, loss, and redemption.

13. unpopular opinion about XXX character?clarissa is a c --- actually no that’s pretty popular. 

14. unpopular opinion about your fandom?not really acquainted with the fandom well enough to be able to answer.

15. unpopular opnion about the manga/show?neither of these things exist, and the one thing i’d mention here is relevant a little later.

16. if you could change anything about the (game), what would you change?first of all, you’d rename it to “oh no, the game.” and then you’d remove the option to revive michael. HERE IT IS, this is probably my most “unpopular” hang-up here. the game emphasizes that time is time. alex and friends are creating the time anomalies, and they’re altering things that ought not be altered. the sunken’s end goal is something we see as reprehensible because they’re dead, they have had their time, and they’re not owed any more. the same is true of michael. yeah, he died pretty tragically, and no, there aren’t any specifically Right or Wrong choices in oxenfree at all, but a game that’s so ardently enforcing the “appreciate the precious little moments you have before they’re over” bend shouldn’t offer the grand reset of playing god and restoring a life. your choices do mean something, but i think it robs them of a little meaning if michael comes back.also, fuck clarissa. 

17. instead of XYZ happening, i’d make ABC happen. instead of going into the fucking cave i’d throw rocks at the sea for like 11 hours straight.

18. does not shipping something “popular” mean you’re in denial and/or biased?not at all. ship what you want, bro. just not incest.

19. what is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?the pitchfork mob after that witch clarissa. there’s something important to be said about grief, learning and forgiveness here: depending on circumstance, grief will manifest in ferociously different ways. alex and clarissa have both lost someone very important to them, and become two extremely different people because of it. the game never discredits either of them in this. people hurt sometimes, and they can --- and do --- hurt other people because of it. people hate clarissa because of how she chooses to channel her grief towards alex, who scapegoats for a very tragic accident that yes, could partially be her fault. it’s emotionally engaging, but it’s also very moving. your choices, and the events of the game, can engineer a safer space and a better outlet for clarissa, and she has the capacity to learn and grow if you treat her with measured compassion. her grief is valid --- hurtful, but valid. let the woman mourn.

20. what is the purest ship in the fandom?ren and nona.  R E N N       AQN    DN  NO  NA    ??????/also, i fly into the sun on my jonas/nona otp ocean liner. they’re perfect, i love them, i want them to get married and have all the babies.

21. what are your thoughts on crack ships?there is only one real (not defunct by death, haha clarissa haha) ship, so pretty much anything is crack. most of it can be fun! roll with it. ROLL with that ren/clarissa action.

22. popular character you hate?i love all of them, fuck off mate.

23. unpopular character you love.ren and clarissa. see above.

24. would you recommend XXX to a friend? why/why not?absolutely. have done, will do. oxenfree is an achievement in story-telling. it’s beautiful to look at and listen to. it’s engaging, compelling, at times frustrating, and boasts some really impressive performances. the humor is top-notch and well-balanced with the soft scares. overall, a joy to play.

25. how would you end XXX/change the ending of XXX?there are so many different outcomes that you can really tailor this question actively when you play. i can get everything i want out of it: i can nurture the important relationships, put certain women in the void, and make sure certain womens’ dead boyfriends stay dead. 

26. most shippable character?alex, easily. she works with everyone she isn’t related to.

27. least shippable character?michael, ‘cause he’s dead.

[junecoppinger]

Best Brush Cutter (April 2019): Top 5 Picks & Reviews

The lawn is probably the only place in my property that I find less time to groom. Thanks to my very busy schedule, it is often the messiest place filled with weeds that never cease to grow from the ground. There are also rocks all over the place, making the use of a mower not feasible.

Luckily, I still have a trump card under my sleeve – the brush cutter. Mine is a high-end, multi-purpose, hand-held, souped-up version of grass cutter that can hack its way through the toughest vegetation. This is quite a consolation for me because of the numerous obstacles hidden among the weeds, and the tree trunks surrounded by tall bushes.

A brush cutter is pretty much what the name implies, they are meant for cutting large weeds, shrubs, and well… brush. These machines are customarily much heavier than string trimmers and subsequently, pack a whole lot more power. If you’ve got heavy weeds to chop down, then the brush cutter is the tool for you.

If like me, your lawn is also a mess, and you’re looking for the most convenient way to groom it, I will give you a review of five of the best brush cutters on the market. You don’t have to go through the trouble of doing all the research because we have done it for you.

BEST Brush Cutter (April 2019) - Top 5 picks & reviews

MODEL

PRICE

OVERALL

4-Stroke Makita

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Husqvarna 223r

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Remington Rm2700

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Troy-Bilt Tb42 BC

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Tanaka TCG24EASSLP

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Quick Navigation

1. 4-Stroke Makita Brush Cutter

2. Husqvarna 223r Straight Shaft Brushcutter

3. Remington Rm2700 Brushcutter

4. Troy-Bilt Tb42 BC Gas Brushcutter

5. Tanaka TCG24EASSLP Brushcutter

Brush Cutter reviews - Groom Your Messy Lawn

1. 4-Stroke Makita Brush Cutter

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pros

cons

• Automatic Engine Decompression

• Because of its non-split shaft, the product may cause inconvenience during transport

• Steel drive shaft minimizes vibration

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• Level view window for the drain plug and filling port

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• Sturdy design for a fairly lightweight (only 12.1 lbs.)

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• Brush cutter blade cuts heavy brush and small trees

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• Easily replaceable and accessible dual stage air filter

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The device is arguably the best of the best brush cutters, with a multi-purpose lubrication system, its engine can incline into different angles for continuous work. The Makita Bruch Cutter has a compact design for fairly less weight of 12.1 lbs. Thus, it’s a versatile product that’s easy to use.

One of my favorite feature of this amazing tool is the automatic engine decompression that gives you a quick and easy start. It also has brush cutting blades for cutting heavy brush and small trees. The dual stage air filter contains large sealing areas that are easily accessible and replaceable.

Another unique feature about this tool – and one that I really like - is the drain plug and oil filling port that can be accessed easily with a view window for easy oil checking and replacement. The steel drive shaft minimizes vibrations and prolongs the tool’s work life.

Verdict

Makita has stood up to its reputation with this product. It starts instantly with a single or double pull (at max) and just keeps on working. The robust cord and bump feed works wonders. With its efficiency, toughness, and ease of use, it is undoubtedly the best product on this list.

2. Husqvarna 223r Straight Shaft Brushcutter

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pros

cons

• Well balanced

• Defective parts can be hard to replace

• Consistent power

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• Solid Steel Shaft

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• Interchangeable string and blade head

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• Runtime of 2.5 hours on a full gas tank

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The HUSQVARNA 223R is a two-handled brush cutter that features a 17-inch cutting swath, anti-vibration technology, as well as quick-start system, which can make a great path along its way. The device weighs at 9.9 pounds and is the lighter version available on the market today, featuring a powerful engine of 25 cc.

Also, it has an interchangeable blade and string head, which makes it a versatile device if you ever need a reason to validate your purchase. It has a two-year warranty and ranks quite high in ratings as customer favorite especially for individuals who work for long periods as well as those with huge brush areas that need to be trimmed down.

Its harness is fully adjustable and enables you to carry your frame’s weight instead of through the arms. It’s been highly suggested that non-ethanol gas mixtures are utilized to prevent the engine from gumming up or adding an extra ethanol additive.

If not, then you could spend more to have it serviced and to keep it operating well. This is an efficient and sturdy machine that will last for a long time.

Verdict

This brush cutter is surely a quality product that does serious brush cutting and lawn maintenance. That’s why it’s second our list. As a versatile and sturdy product that work efficiently for a very long time, this machine is worth the money.

3. Remington Rm2700 Brushcutter

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pros

cons

• Powerful engine

• Heavy

• Quick-start pull

• Plastic choke may break

• Has a supportive shoulder strap

• Difficult to replace attachments

• Many attachments for many jobs

• Lowered power while warming up

The REMINGTON RM2700 is a multi-purpose cutter that can transform into various landscaping tool via its easy-attachment-ready shaft. It features several extras such as pole saw, cultivator, and blower, which you can buy to utilize with this model because of a powerful engine of 27 cc armed with a quick start engine, where your efforts are better used.

Also, it features an interchangeable, bump-feed, string-trimmer head that appears to hold its own weight against huge weeds and young saplings too. And for more powerful cuts, make use of its robust steel blade to trim through nearly anything that gets in the way.

Since it only features a curved-handle design, it includes a supportive shoulder strap that aid with the product’s 14-pounds weight, but it’s recommended to buy a better harness to distribute the weight better evenly because it can get quite heavy ultimately.

Verdict

This product is good for yard maintenance and landscaping enthusiasts seeking to finish various projects that may be difficult to reach. If there are irregular surfaces and rocks on your lawn, then you’d find great use in this machine.

4. Troy-Bilt Tb42 BC Gas Brushcutter

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pros

cons

• Consistent power

• Heavy

• Interchangeable heads

• Long start procedure

• Good replacement and customer service

• The harness isn’t very supportive

• Vegetation doesn’t twist around the shaft

• Steel shaft tubing may be stronger (has slightly cutting sapling)

The TROY-BILT TB42 has an exceptional J-handle design which allows for left- or right-handed use and features a cutting diameter of 16 inches.

Also, it is interchangeable with ten various heads to mow down anything that blocks your way because of its powerful engine of 27 cc that can be started via a jump-start system. This means that you don’t need to pull the cord many times to get the engine running.

Though it is quite powerful and features a steel shaft, it can bend against heavy cuts, which it isn’t rated for, to ensure that you keep your cutting to saplings. And for basic weed control, it trims cleanly without the tangle. Additionally, if the blades ever go dull, they can easily sharpen.

The main concerns surround these faulty problems, which fall under warranty and were fast and easily changed by a first-rate service department. But brand new items which only last for months or immediately show problems after only several uses can be rather irritating.

Verdict

This is a good product for anybody seeking to have a versatile machine that you wish to use for various landscaping uses and can support heavy work. It may not be our top choice but it’s probably the most powerful among the models.

5. Tanaka TCG24EASSLP Brushcutter

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pros

cons

• 7-year Warranty

• Debris Guard is small

• CARB-Compliant

• Terrible assembly instructions

• Good Fuel Economy

• Takes time and getting used to adjusting the harness

• Powerful Engine

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• Minimal Vibrations

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• Relatively Lightweight

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• Convenient operation with the long shaft

​

The Tanaka Bruch Cutter is a fantastic brush cutting tool with a powerful engine providing ample power for efficient work. It also has a patented starting system to reduce the power spent during startup by 50% and that makes it an easy-to-start tool.

Once it starts, the steel shaft keeps the vibrations at a minimum so that maximum power is sent towards the cutting head – that is all thanks to the anti-vibration feature. The Tanaka Bruch Cutter weighs 9 pounds, making it very lightweight and convenient to use for prolonged periods.

The Tanaka has a striking 60-inches long shaft, which means you don’t have to bend down when you are using it. This tool is CARB Compliant, and, therefore, more environmentally-friendly compared to other brushcutter models.

Verdict

What I really love about the Tanaka is the superb fuel economy. There is nothing more consoling than a machine that will help you save on fuel. The 7-year consumer warranty gives me more confidence in the product.

What to Consider when choosing the best Brush Cutter

1. Weed Eater vs. String Trimmer

Sometimes called string trimmers, weed eaters are hand-carry items that can cut down grassy, bushy places that your typical lawn mower haven’t reached. We are referring to the side of the home, at the flower beds, by trees, etc.

Often, they make use of nylon strings in trimming down weeds, though a few models enable you to change a blade, intended for more spots with more weeds, they’re still helpful for medium or grasses only.

2. Power Options

And like any other piece of equipment, you need numerous options to choose from in terms of powering a brush cutter. There is the tried-and-tested gas powered motors, and the new electric motors. Which you think is the best depends wholly on your needs and case.

3. Electric Powered

A plug-in operates the cordless or electric version via a battery pack or extension cord. I find that these two versions limit in what and where the power you may require, as well as for as long as you require it. It is actually difficult to even find these because of the demand for gas-powered cutters.

4. Gas Powered

Gas powered cutters have more options for you to pick and can be taken wherever you need to without the need to find an electric source. Also, it can power nearly anything it’s rated for like small saplings, heavy or thick weeds, or even high, twisted grasses.

Note: Electric versus Gas Choices

Like the majority of yard maintenance products, you need to think about your choices before buying a product, and it is crucial that you know the difference beforehand. Brush cutter can either come as a gas or electric-powered model, but it can be argued that many people like the electric versions more than the gas versions.

Conclusion

Having the best brush cutter in your tool shed will make a huge difference in your lawn maintenance. I know it made a great difference in mine. And I think you can now guess which high-end model I was using your my lawn. Yes, you guessed it is none other than the 4-Stroke Makita Brush Cutter.

The 4-Stroke Makita Brush Cutter is tough and powerful enough to work on any lawn maintenance job. I’ve found so much convenience in using the model because of its ability to reduce fatigue on my part. Its adjustable harness makes it a comfortable tool to carry, and that has always been a big score for me.

Of course, the other models on our list are also excellent, and it depends upon your preference which model will work best for you. Still, feel free to share your reasons for making a different choice – we would love to hear from you. And don’t forget t

And don’t forget to share this post with your friends. Good luck with your lawn!

The post Best Brush Cutter (April 2019): Top 5 Picks & Reviews appeared first on Luxury Home Stuff.

from Luxury Home Stuff https://www.luxuryhomestuff.com/best-brush-cutter/ from Luxury Home Stuff https://luxuryhomestuff1.tumblr.com/post/183837132224

[luxuryhomestuff1]

Best Brush Cutter (April 2019): Top 5 Picks & Reviews

The lawn is probably the only place in my property that I find less time to groom. Thanks to my very busy schedule, it is often the messiest place filled with weeds that never cease to grow from the ground. There are also rocks all over the place, making the use of a mower not feasible.

Luckily, I still have a trump card under my sleeve – the brush cutter. Mine is a high-end, multi-purpose, hand-held, souped-up version of grass cutter that can hack its way through the toughest vegetation. This is quite a consolation for me because of the numerous obstacles hidden among the weeds, and the tree trunks surrounded by tall bushes.

A brush cutter is pretty much what the name implies, they are meant for cutting large weeds, shrubs, and well… brush. These machines are customarily much heavier than string trimmers and subsequently, pack a whole lot more power. If you’ve got heavy weeds to chop down, then the brush cutter is the tool for you.

If like me, your lawn is also a mess, and you’re looking for the most convenient way to groom it, I will give you a review of five of the best brush cutters on the market. You don’t have to go through the trouble of doing all the research because we have done it for you.

BEST Brush Cutter (April 2019) - Top 5 picks & reviews

MODEL

PRICE

OVERALL

4-Stroke Makita

check price

Husqvarna 223r

check price

Remington Rm2700

check price

Troy-Bilt Tb42 BC

check price

Tanaka TCG24EASSLP

check price

Quick Navigation

1. 4-Stroke Makita Brush Cutter

2. Husqvarna 223r Straight Shaft Brushcutter

3. Remington Rm2700 Brushcutter

4. Troy-Bilt Tb42 BC Gas Brushcutter

5. Tanaka TCG24EASSLP Brushcutter

Brush Cutter reviews - Groom Your Messy Lawn

1. 4-Stroke Makita Brush Cutter

check price on amazon

pros

cons

• Automatic Engine Decompression

• Because of its non-split shaft, the product may cause inconvenience during transport

• Steel drive shaft minimizes vibration

​

• Level view window for the drain plug and filling port

​

• Sturdy design for a fairly lightweight (only 12.1 lbs.)

​

• Brush cutter blade cuts heavy brush and small trees

​

• Easily replaceable and accessible dual stage air filter

​

The device is arguably the best of the best brush cutters, with a multi-purpose lubrication system, its engine can incline into different angles for continuous work. The Makita Bruch Cutter has a compact design for fairly less weight of 12.1 lbs. Thus, it’s a versatile product that’s easy to use.

One of my favorite feature of this amazing tool is the automatic engine decompression that gives you a quick and easy start. It also has brush cutting blades for cutting heavy brush and small trees. The dual stage air filter contains large sealing areas that are easily accessible and replaceable.

Another unique feature about this tool – and one that I really like - is the drain plug and oil filling port that can be accessed easily with a view window for easy oil checking and replacement. The steel drive shaft minimizes vibrations and prolongs the tool’s work life.

Verdict

Makita has stood up to its reputation with this product. It starts instantly with a single or double pull (at max) and just keeps on working. The robust cord and bump feed works wonders. With its efficiency, toughness, and ease of use, it is undoubtedly the best product on this list.

2. Husqvarna 223r Straight Shaft Brushcutter

check price on amazon

pros

cons

• Well balanced

• Defective parts can be hard to replace

• Consistent power

​

• Solid Steel Shaft

​

• Interchangeable string and blade head

​

• Runtime of 2.5 hours on a full gas tank

​

The HUSQVARNA 223R is a two-handled brush cutter that features a 17-inch cutting swath, anti-vibration technology, as well as quick-start system, which can make a great path along its way. The device weighs at 9.9 pounds and is the lighter version available on the market today, featuring a powerful engine of 25 cc.

Also, it has an interchangeable blade and string head, which makes it a versatile device if you ever need a reason to validate your purchase. It has a two-year warranty and ranks quite high in ratings as customer favorite especially for individuals who work for long periods as well as those with huge brush areas that need to be trimmed down.

Its harness is fully adjustable and enables you to carry your frame’s weight instead of through the arms. It’s been highly suggested that non-ethanol gas mixtures are utilized to prevent the engine from gumming up or adding an extra ethanol additive.

If not, then you could spend more to have it serviced and to keep it operating well. This is an efficient and sturdy machine that will last for a long time.

Verdict

This brush cutter is surely a quality product that does serious brush cutting and lawn maintenance. That’s why it’s second our list. As a versatile and sturdy product that work efficiently for a very long time, this machine is worth the money.

3. Remington Rm2700 Brushcutter

check price on amazon

pros

cons

• Powerful engine

• Heavy

• Quick-start pull

• Plastic choke may break

• Has a supportive shoulder strap

• Difficult to replace attachments

• Many attachments for many jobs

• Lowered power while warming up

The REMINGTON RM2700 is a multi-purpose cutter that can transform into various landscaping tool via its easy-attachment-ready shaft. It features several extras such as pole saw, cultivator, and blower, which you can buy to utilize with this model because of a powerful engine of 27 cc armed with a quick start engine, where your efforts are better used.

Also, it features an interchangeable, bump-feed, string-trimmer head that appears to hold its own weight against huge weeds and young saplings too. And for more powerful cuts, make use of its robust steel blade to trim through nearly anything that gets in the way.

Since it only features a curved-handle design, it includes a supportive shoulder strap that aid with the product’s 14-pounds weight, but it’s recommended to buy a better harness to distribute the weight better evenly because it can get quite heavy ultimately.

Verdict

This product is good for yard maintenance and landscaping enthusiasts seeking to finish various projects that may be difficult to reach. If there are irregular surfaces and rocks on your lawn, then you’d find great use in this machine.

4. Troy-Bilt Tb42 BC Gas Brushcutter

check price on amazon

pros

cons

• Consistent power

• Heavy

• Interchangeable heads

• Long start procedure

• Good replacement and customer service

• The harness isn’t very supportive

• Vegetation doesn’t twist around the shaft

• Steel shaft tubing may be stronger (has slightly cutting sapling)

The TROY-BILT TB42 has an exceptional J-handle design which allows for left- or right-handed use and features a cutting diameter of 16 inches.

Also, it is interchangeable with ten various heads to mow down anything that blocks your way because of its powerful engine of 27 cc that can be started via a jump-start system. This means that you don’t need to pull the cord many times to get the engine running.

Though it is quite powerful and features a steel shaft, it can bend against heavy cuts, which it isn’t rated for, to ensure that you keep your cutting to saplings. And for basic weed control, it trims cleanly without the tangle. Additionally, if the blades ever go dull, they can easily sharpen.

The main concerns surround these faulty problems, which fall under warranty and were fast and easily changed by a first-rate service department. But brand new items which only last for months or immediately show problems after only several uses can be rather irritating.

Verdict

This is a good product for anybody seeking to have a versatile machine that you wish to use for various landscaping uses and can support heavy work. It may not be our top choice but it’s probably the most powerful among the models.

5. Tanaka TCG24EASSLP Brushcutter

check price on amazon

pros

cons

• 7-year Warranty

• Debris Guard is small

• CARB-Compliant

• Terrible assembly instructions

• Good Fuel Economy

• Takes time and getting used to adjusting the harness

• Powerful Engine

​

• Minimal Vibrations

​

• Relatively Lightweight

​

• Convenient operation with the long shaft

​

The Tanaka Bruch Cutter is a fantastic brush cutting tool with a powerful engine providing ample power for efficient work. It also has a patented starting system to reduce the power spent during startup by 50% and that makes it an easy-to-start tool.

Once it starts, the steel shaft keeps the vibrations at a minimum so that maximum power is sent towards the cutting head – that is all thanks to the anti-vibration feature. The Tanaka Bruch Cutter weighs 9 pounds, making it very lightweight and convenient to use for prolonged periods.

The Tanaka has a striking 60-inches long shaft, which means you don’t have to bend down when you are using it. This tool is CARB Compliant, and, therefore, more environmentally-friendly compared to other brushcutter models.

Verdict

What I really love about the Tanaka is the superb fuel economy. There is nothing more consoling than a machine that will help you save on fuel. The 7-year consumer warranty gives me more confidence in the product.

What to Consider when choosing the best Brush Cutter

1. Weed Eater vs. String Trimmer

Sometimes called string trimmers, weed eaters are hand-carry items that can cut down grassy, bushy places that your typical lawn mower haven’t reached. We are referring to the side of the home, at the flower beds, by trees, etc.

Often, they make use of nylon strings in trimming down weeds, though a few models enable you to change a blade, intended for more spots with more weeds, they’re still helpful for medium or grasses only.

2. Power Options

And like any other piece of equipment, you need numerous options to choose from in terms of powering a brush cutter. There is the tried-and-tested gas powered motors, and the new electric motors. Which you think is the best depends wholly on your needs and case.

3. Electric Powered

A plug-in operates the cordless or electric version via a battery pack or extension cord. I find that these two versions limit in what and where the power you may require, as well as for as long as you require it. It is actually difficult to even find these because of the demand for gas-powered cutters.

4. Gas Powered

Gas powered cutters have more options for you to pick and can be taken wherever you need to without the need to find an electric source. Also, it can power nearly anything it’s rated for like small saplings, heavy or thick weeds, or even high, twisted grasses.

Note: Electric versus Gas Choices

Like the majority of yard maintenance products, you need to think about your choices before buying a product, and it is crucial that you know the difference beforehand. Brush cutter can either come as a gas or electric-powered model, but it can be argued that many people like the electric versions more than the gas versions.

Conclusion

Having the best brush cutter in your tool shed will make a huge difference in your lawn maintenance. I know it made a great difference in mine. And I think you can now guess which high-end model I was using your my lawn. Yes, you guessed it is none other than the 4-Stroke Makita Brush Cutter.

The 4-Stroke Makita Brush Cutter is tough and powerful enough to work on any lawn maintenance job. I’ve found so much convenience in using the model because of its ability to reduce fatigue on my part. Its adjustable harness makes it a comfortable tool to carry, and that has always been a big score for me.

Of course, the other models on our list are also excellent, and it depends upon your preference which model will work best for you. Still, feel free to share your reasons for making a different choice – we would love to hear from you. And don’t forget t

And don’t forget to share this post with your friends. Good luck with your lawn!

The post Best Brush Cutter (April 2019): Top 5 Picks & Reviews appeared first on Luxury Home Stuff.

from Luxury Home Stuff https://www.luxuryhomestuff.com/best-brush-cutter/

[purenoodles]

55-100

Gonna hope it was this ask

Gonna add a read-more because this bitch LONG and also I’m in the mood to monologue on half of these questions

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

I’ve told like... two? people I’ve liked them. Drunk me on the other hand tells everyone because he’s a bitch and is like “lemme YEET my heart into the person’s lap and tell them how much they mean to me and how I wouldn’t mind owning a house and dog with them”

56. Do you like to cuddle?

If I like the person I just like being around them, preferably touching in some way (unless they aren’t cool with it) so cuddling would be WONDERFUL.  I’ve dated people in the past that weren’t cool with it, like a past ex had some serious emotional trauma so an average day’s contact was a light handshake or high five, and a really good day was a tight hug or kiss. While it’s not ideal I’m still fine with it.

57. Are you shy?

If you asked ANYONE who knew me they’d say I’m not, but I really am - at least when first meeting someone. I have a completely unearned confidence that I’ve learned to project to get me past my initial shyness and after a couple of times of that projection I can just be my natural self.

58. Do you get along with girls?

I think like 90% of my tumblr friends are girls so I’m gonna say yes. When I first meet someone I’m definitely a lot shyer around girls though. It doesn’t help that I’m 6 feet tall and an absolute god damn unit so I probably appear way more intimidating than I look.

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

Nah we live too far apart and Erin’s been in a committed relationship like... 99% of the time I’ve known her?

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

My phone, wallet, and an undying love for all of my buddies

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Yeah sure I’ll just get drunk and sleep through it or blast some bops and ignore whatever weird happenings go on

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

I’d be disappointed if it lasted LESS than five months tbh. Like if I’m dating you I’m hoping we know each other enough that there aren’t any immediate issues that would end it that quick. I’ve been in like 3 serious relationships and they were all for over a year.

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

It is October and no. If you meant last October then also no.

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

Adorable and I better be able to kiss their forehead back. Also cute that they got a stepladder to reach or got me to bend over so they could reach lmao

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

Got super drunk with @ticklepeachy and our friend Bean last night and talked about feelings and stuff

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

Like 22, 23, and 25

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

I’d probably just ask one of my friends to do it, but I don’t think I’d want my nails painted lol

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

Neither but if I have to pick I guess Zebra?

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

Nope!

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

It really depends on my mood because my musical taste is all over the god damn place and I can listen to both of them in the same session

71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?    

I like my iPhone because it has my decade worth of iTunes music, but Androids are fine. My mom and aunts have blackberries and I hate them so much.

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

Probably at least 6+ years ago. There’s like 50 pizza places that deliver to me so if I really want to have some delivered I can get pizza that’s actually good lmao

73. Do you like diet soda?    

Not particularly. It just tastes “off” for lack of a better word.

74. What color are the walls in your room?    

They’re “pearl white” or something I forget the exact color name but I just repainted them like 2 years ago.

75. Are you 16 or older?    

God I hope so

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

Nope, although I know a lot of people who were into it.

77. Do you have a job?    

I wish but I was like “Hey I should get a career doing something I love!” and it’s impossible to break into the job market without like a 5.0 GPA, 3 internships, and 5 years experience.

78. What are your initials?    

MJP

79. Did you ever have braces?    

Nope, I have a bit of a crossbite but it’s never been bad enough to warrant braces thankfully

80. Are you from the south?

No and I’m disgusted you would ask me this :/

81. What does your last status on facebook say? 

I’ve been scrolling for awhile and my last post was 2 years ago and it was a “shared memory” from 5 years ago. I have no idea what my last status was

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

Nope, they’re incredibly toxic and problematic and I wish I had realized it when we first met!

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

Mom for sure.

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

Nope, haven’t done either. Although I took 2 science classes my senior year of high school which meant instead of having Gym class every day of the week for half of the year I had it like 3 days/week for like 2/3 of the year. After the first semester I had gym class with an all girl class that was a grade below me and I had to do whatever they did, so I did have some experience with tumbling.

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

I think it was the Wolverine movie that came out a year or two ago. Ryan and I hit up Dave and Buster’s because I got a bunch of free gift cards for there, then we forgot to grab food and I was like “haha it’s fine I’ll just buy food at the movies!” When they told me it’d be $20 for Nachos and a drink I almost cried.

86. Do you smoke?    

I smoke like 1 cigarette and 1 bowl of weed a year. The cigarette I randomly have while drunk when my cousin offers me one and every time I smoke it and go “yep definitely not for me”. The weed is from my cousin’s bf who offers me a hit every time I see him lmao.

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

Flip flops but I don’t really like my feet so I prefer regular shoes

88. Is your phone touch screen?    

Yeah when it wants to work

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

Straight but if I let my hair grow out to a few inches it starts naturally curling a bit at the ends.

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

Yeah a couple of times

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

The lakes and rivers by me are NASTY so definitely a pool. If I drove like 2 hours to where I like going kayaking then the river is nice and I wouldn’t mind

92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

Once

93. …Had sex in a car?    

Nope!

94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

Single and ready to move across the country if I get offered a job

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

Watching Alexis stream Super Mario Sunshine unless that was after her laptop died in which case I think we were just drinking and voice chatting

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

I probably saw some around the 4th of July

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

It’s okay but I cracked the camera lens so now sometimes it gets some weird glare

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

All of my friends are friends with benefits! They offer me emotional support or people to play games with or people I can just talk to or whatever the case may be.

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

Maybe so

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

I wouldn’t say hate, but the majority I don’t care about whatsoever

[firstjustgoin]

Going Down

3. Start with the shit going down. An event you’ve never witnessed. A moment in history that you wish you could have. A mystery that was never solved.

Her father’s health had been steadily declining for months now –– in and out of hospitals and doctor’s offices where he had been met with the thin-lipped mouths of professionals who saw people like him every day, wide-eyed and vacillating between disbelief and despair –– and so when Candace called her, her voice low and mournful, to get on the next plane and fly home, Tessa did so without needing to ask why.

She usually flew at the holidays when the halls of JFK or Laguardia or Newark, whichever airport had the cheapest flights, roiled with agitated parents dressed in faux cheer, willing even to push their own children out of the way in order to make their 6:00pm to Orlando. She hated airports for this reason and as chubby people in red and green sweaters squeezed by her on the moving walkway, she always imagined their planes falling swiftly from the sky as penance.

But it was early November and she breathed a deep sigh of relief when she arrived at Laguardia and saw that there was room to move without elbowing people like you’re digging yourself out of a trench. She bought a pack of unsalted peanuts and a Diet Coke and settled into a corner chair by her gate trying to block out the frantic sounds from the TV. She had a theory that CNN only really existed within the universe of the airport and it was all just a huge collective hallucination everywhere else, but here it was almost maddening.  

The president-elect stood at a podium wearing a red hat that screamed Make America Great Again. She still could not believe it; millions of people had voted for this moron, this misogynist, this bigot. Just two days ago she had met up with some friends at a bar in Brooklyn to watch the election results roll in. They drank whiskey sodas and progressively ate more and more fries as it dawned on them, this always possibility never probability, was real.

“Tell me something that will make me feel better,” Tessa whispered to her friend, clutching at the edge of the table until her knuckles popped white.

“I can’t,” her friend said back, and she knew in that moment that it was over. The unfiltered joy she had felt voting for the first female president just 12 hours earlier, how powerful and in control she exuded as she walked into her office that morning. Gone. The whiskey went straight to her head, now throbbing, and her whole body shivered at the shock.

Tessa trudged around the city the next day, mourning alongside millions of others doing the same. She loved the camaraderie in sadness that existed in New York City in those hours and days afterwards, knowing that everyone was spinning in circles too, their flags at half-mast.

But now she had to go home to Wisconsin. A state she abhorred, filled with overweight, undereducated people who clung to their conservative ideals with as much loyalty as their God. Just imagining the church service she would have to attend this Sunday made her stomach turn in disgust. Thank you oh Lord for blessing us with this man, for helping so many see the light of truth and righteousness. As if God, if he did exist, would go within several hundred miles of the White House once the president-elect moved in.

Tessa thought about calling Candace from the terminal a dozen times to wriggle her way out of coming home, but then she remembered her last visit around Christmas the year prior and how it ended. Her father had just been diagnosed and saw imminent death as a clarion call for an onslaught of his favorite brand of straight talk.

“You know, now that I’m going to die,” He said with a chuckle as he carved the turkey and Candace quietly sobbed and snotted into her napkin, “I think it’s time to finally buy that rifle I’ve been eyeing over at Jack’s. There’s no use in saving up that money for time that’s never going to come.”

Tessa rolled her eyes, always immune to her father’s self pity that had lived like a fourth family member in their house almost her whole life. Candace cornered her in the kitchen later that night as she was washing the dishes. “We’ve got to do something about Dad,” she whispered through gritted teeth. “This is literally the worst thing that’s ever happened and you’re not doing anything.”

“Literally, it’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened, Candy.” Tessa knew that her sister hated when she called her Candy almost as much as when Tessa projected her New York City sensibility on her. “The shit that’s been happening in San Bernardino a few weeks ago, now that’s the worst thing. Fourteen people dead. We’ve got a gun crisis on our hands and we’re all just sitting around pretending that owning assault rifles is some kind of American birthright.”

“Fuck, Tessa, can’t you just stop spewing this New York Times shit at me for one minute and focus on your own fucking family?” This made Tessa pause. Candace never swore. She had talked like a kindergarten teacher for as long as Tessa could remember. Just shy of three years older than Tessa, she always carried herself like the de facto mother neither of them could remember.

“Fine, fine. I’ll try to do something.” But both Candace and Tessa knew that she wouldn’t. She had moved all the way out to New York because she knew it was a place that neither of them would ever visit her. Candace had sent her a letter a few months into living in Brooklyn that just read, Looked your apartment up on Google Maps. God, Tessa, I don’t know how you do it. Don’t get hurt. Love, C. She lived in Fort Greene, for Christ’s sake. But there were some battles that just weren’t worth fighting; it seemed like she was battling on all sides these days.

Tessa had tried calling and checking in on her Dad, she really had. But as the humid spring gave way to a viscous summer and convention season began, she just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t listen to him laugh alongside Trump as he mocked a family of a fallen soldier or echo the stump speeches and one-liners he soaked up from hours of watching Fox News. Even as his words began to slur and memory faded, after Candace would call her in thick, obnoxious tears pleading for her to come home, Tessa found ways to avoid making that flight. “It just isn’t the right time. Things are crazy right now,” she would tell her sister before hanging up the phone and heading out to smoke weed and shoot picklebacks at a rooftop bar.

So she did not call to cancel now, much as she wanted to. Instead, she read Ta-Nehisi Coates on the flight and blasted Lemonade and stuffed dry peanuts in her mouth to prepare herself for the world she was landing into, a world where she knew that most of the people she had grown up with wouldn’t bat an eyelash if suddenly all of the water fountains and bathrooms and schools in town were Whites Only.

***

Early November in northern Wisconsin is a cruel time of year. When she landed in Milwaukee and drove her rental car forty-five minutes up to West Bend, the clouds hung low and gray in the sky like they were holding their breath for winter too. A steely wind slapped against the car as she drove and she found herself having to actively stop herself from turning the car around and flying back to the safety of her bodegas and beer gardens and discerning podcast listeners.

When new friends asked her where she was from she would give away information begrudgingly in small morsels: the midwest, near Chicago, Milwaukee-area, and, if she was unlucky enough to talk to a fellow Wisconsinite, finally West Bend. Sometimes she lied and said Madison so she could joke about it being an island amidst a sea of crazy but she had visited just once and could only wax poetic about the farmer’s market for so long before she was discovered.

On select occasions a look of recognition crept slowly on the listener’s face. “Wait, wait, I’ve heard of West Bend. Why does it sound so familiar.” Tessa would sit there, knowing full well what their brain was searching for, but unwilling to say it aloud. “Oh wait, yeah, I remember! Y’all were the people who sued your own library for having books with gay characters, yeah? With that church that wanted money for it being so ‘disturbing’, right?”

She would nod slightly, averting their eye contact, and pretending she could hear someone call her name from across the bar. “Uh, yeah,” she would say and then run away. She hated being associated even in passing reference to such ardent stupidity and she got a B.A. in Political Science from an expensive private liberal arts school in the Northeast as a defiant push against it.

When she arrived in West Bend, she saw with dismay that the red and blue TRUMP/PENCE signs littering almost every lawn had survived the recent sleet storms. Some were as large as the front doors behind them, waving arrogant and proud in the icy wind. It made her sick to think how many joyous celebrations were still taking place inside these lower middle class split levels; men drinking beers and watching the Packers while the women giggled from the kitchen, living comfortably in their gender roles.

Candace hated when she made these sweeping generalizations. “What good was that pricey college degree if it just taught you to hate everyone you grew up with? Everyone who loves you?” She had asked once when Tessa was home from her first semester. Like Candace contributed a cent to that college fund, she practically strong armed their father into not paying for any of it either. 

“It’s not us that hate everyone,” Tessa spat back. “We just don’t tolerate people who perpetuate white supremacy and systemic oppression.”

Candace sighed. “You learn all these big words that teach you to hate your own people. But when you’re in trouble, who’s going to take you in? Your black friends in the Bronx or wherever or your own family?”

That conversation rattled within Tessa for years afterwards, following her like a specter of a past and identity she could not shake. She couldn’t quite pinpoint why she had been able to escape those narrow mindsets her sister and father and classmates had all embraced so easily. But now that she knew everything that she knew, it was impossible to go back –– both intellectually but also physically, to enter the home that she had grown up safe and happy and healthy with anything but a thick layer of disdain.

***

She pulled into the driveway just as the last of the dull light faded in the sky. She could see the yellow lights from the kitchen window and a shadow of her sister, heavy-set and scrambling, and the flickering whites and blues of the television from the other room, likely with her father reclined and mumbling. She turned off the engine and closed her eyes, bracing herself before her entrance, not knowing whether she would be more saddened by the hundreds of pill bottles cluttering every counter and tabletop or the Make America Great Again poster hanging in the dining room. For a second, a flash of shame filled her like an electric shock; could she ever feel real pain for her dying father if she couldn’t let go of her pulsing contempt? At this moment, sitting alone in the driveway where he had taught her to ride a bike and lifted her up off the concrete every time she fell, she did not know.

Her father’s cancer had been slow but ruthless, crawling through and licking every surface it touched like an encroaching wildfire. When Candace first called her over a year ago, Tessa had been in bed with a boy she had met at a bar down the street. Frank, perhaps, or maybe Francisco, she couldn’t remember. He had spent twenty minutes going down on her and she didn’t stop him although his tongue flitted in and out of her aggressively like it was blindly trying to find the exit. She finally had coaxed him out of her vagina when the phone rang and her sister’s straight-toothed smile flashed on her screen. Moment over. She pulled up her panties and answered while Frank/Francisco heaved to the side of her bed.

“Yeah, Candace can I call you back?”

“T-Tess––” Then a cascade of sniffles. “Tessa. You’ve got to come home. Dad, he’s––” Another cascade, this time punctured by heavy sobs.

“God dammit, Candace. What? What’s up with dad?”

“He’s got,” Candace’s voice dropped to a whisper, “he’s got cancer, Tessa. In his bones. He’s got what the doctor’s are calling Osteosarcoma and he’s not going to get better.”

A ring had begun in Tessa’s left ear, a baritone hum that grew and echoed. Soon, it reverberated through the right ear too until Tessa let her head drop to her pillow and eyes pull shut.

“Uh, are you okay?” The boy whose tongue had been inside her just seconds ago pressed his finger to her arm tentatively. “Should I, um, go now?”

Tessa could not remember what she said to him, could not remember how or when he left, but the next time she opened her eyes, she was alone in her room, her mouth dry and eyelids crusted at the edges. She saw six missed calls from Candace and one from her father. She called him.

“Daddy?”

“Hey baby.” Tessa had spent the better part of her late teens and twenties distancing herself emotionally and physically from her father. She dyed her inherited blonde hair a dark umber and ran ten miles a day to outpace her father’s genetically poor metabolism; she policed her Wisconsin accent with its long a’s and o’s and dontcha knows, sliding into the neutral tones of transplants all over New York. But it took just those two words to catapult her back into her childhood home, sitting on the couch squeezed between her father and sister watching old Law & Order reruns.

“Daddy, I’m so –– I don’t know what to say. How are you feeling?”

“Well, I been better, sweetheart. But you know Candace, she’s got me set up with everything I’d need, like we’re going down into a bunker or something. I told her, ‘the doc said I gotta year to live, no need to treat me like infirm already.” He laughed quietly and fell silent. Tessa didn’t know what to say. She stared at the wall across from her bed, Gloria Steinem holding a sign that read “We Shall Overcome” stared back.

“Are you getting chemo? What are you going to do?” She felt like a puppy dog clawing at the toes of their owner, desperate for a resolution to their anguish they did not understand.

“I’m not sure, honey. I spent this whole day at the hospital squirming with Obamacare welfare junkies and whatnot. Not sure there’s much else those doctors can do for me. They got me on a whole cocktail of drugs, don’t worry, I’m going to be as loopy as the kids you hang out with in Brooklyn every day.”

“Okay, dad. I’m going to come home soon okay? I’ll see when I can get some time off of work and then I’ll fly out and we’ll figure it all out. I’ll be there before you know it.”

That was September, just as New York’s air had begun to deflate into a cool, short Fall. She didn’t go home until the end of December and by then, there wasn’t anything much left to figure out. Her father was dying and there wasn’t anything to be done.

Almost a year had passed since that last visit and now she sat in the driveway of her childhood home and practiced breathing exercises she had learned at Vinyasa Yoga classes.

Breathe in with the whole body and out. The tips of her fingers trembled in the cold. She walked up to her door and considered knocking for a second before twisting the handle. The house was cleaner than she had been expecting, teeming with the smell of lysol and simmering garlic tomatoes. She knew that smell well: a staple of her youth. Before it had been uncool, her friends loved coming over to her house for dinner: her father’s thick, creamy pasta sauces –– garlicky and herbaceous. He loved to cook for a crowd, sent her to school with plastic tupperware packed with last night’s feast enough to share with her whole lunch table. She was embarrassed by the assertiveness of the aromas –– how they overtook the room of Lunchables and peanut butter sandwiches –– but she slurped up each noodle anyways, loving how it warmed every inch of her mouth, throat, and stomach as she swallowed.

She turned the corner into the kitchen and saw Candace at the stove, slowly stirring the sauce as it splattered across the counter and up her forearms. She flinched and then saw Tessa.

“You’re here. Thank god. I was beginning to worry the food might get cold waiting on you.” Candace threw a roll of paper towels at her. “Now wash off all that plane grime and we’ll sit down to eat in a sec. Dad’s in the living room.” She jerked her head towards the other room as if Tessa might have forgotten where that was in only the year since she had been home.

“‘Kay. Nice to see you again,” Tessa said, waiting for her sister’s begrudging nod and smile before continuing to the living room.

“Daddy?” Tessa peered through the door into the dark room, the only light throbbing from the television screen. House Hunters played on mute. “Daddy, I’m going to turn on the lights okay?” She flipped on the lights and almost screamed at the sight of the room now illuminated. In the year since she had been home the living room had transformed from a clichéd, frilly, TV den with embroidered bible quotes on throw pillows and clean glass surfaces to a makeshift hospice. She could barely see her father embraced by a deep recliner and swallowed by wires attached to monitors and tubes attached to hanging bags. The floor was littered with old pill bottles, just as she had expected, but also with napkins stained with dried up blood and gray clumps of hair.

When she finally got a full view of her father, she had to do a double take. All of her life, her father had been an intimidating man –– scaring off prom dates and trick-or-treaters with his wide shoulders and thick gut. She had known that it would be bad; Candace had warned her –– “It’s metastatic, that means the cancer’s eaten out his bones and now has started eating other things too. His lungs, his throat…” She had trailed off then, or maybe Tessa had stopped listening. Either way, nothing could have prepared her for seeing her father look like the carved out inside of a man –– wearing the remains of his bones and veins and decaying muscles on the outside of his body.

She kneeled next to him and grabbed his hand. She hadn’t realized before that he was sleeping. “It’s me, Tessa. I’m here.”

He opened his eyes and parted his cracked lips into a half-smile. “Hi honey. You here for Thanksgiving already?”

“No, Daddy, it’s not quite Thanksgiving yet. I’m here just to visit you.”

Her father let out a gruff laugh, somewhere between a wheeze and a chuckle. “Oh dammit, don’t tell me I’m dying already. I was just dreaming I was golfing in Mexico again and I really thought I was going to do it this time.” Tessa rolled her eyes. How could a man that looked like an alternate reality version of her father still be so unmistakably him?

“You hungry? Candace made your special pasta.”

His mouth turned downward as he scrunched up his nose. “Not that filth again.” He lowered his voice to somewhere even below a whisper, “Don’t tell your sister this, honey, but she’s a terrible cook. I haven’t eaten in weeks.”

“Dad!” Tessa tapped his hand lightly. “You’ve gotta eat. No wonder you’re looking like the first guy on the food chain.”

He smiled. “That’s my girl. Good to have you home. Now bring out some noodles, no sauce and I’ll see if I can work some magic.”

She returned to the kitchen. Candace was scrubbing the pans in the sink vigorously, muttering a string of curse words under her breath.

“So, do you usually eat in the living room with him?” Tessa asked.

“Some days. Honestly, Tess, it’s been next level depressing to stay in there all the time with him. He won’t eat and I hate cooking, you know that. Sometimes I’ll just get so tired I’ll just take a plate up to my room and watch TV instead. You haven’t been here so you don’t ––” Tessa sensed Candace winding up for one of her soliloquies, so she walked over to her sister and rubbed her shoulder.

“You’re right. I haven’t been here. But I’m here now. Whatever I can do to help, I will.”

***

It didn’t take more than two days at home for Tessa to begin falling into a deep pit of equal parts fury and despair. It was bad enough that Candace had convinced herself that she must be her father’s nursemaid, attending to his every need with an exacting level of care that drove both Tessa and her father up a wall.

They would be sitting in the living room watching another rerun of Law and Order: True Crime, nearly bordering on a nice moment, when Candace would jump out of her chair with the inertia of an electric shock and run to the kitchen to find whatever pill their father had to take, all the while mumbling, “I can’t believe I almost forgot. I can’t believe it. If I had forgotten, who knows what could have happened. How could I forget?”

The stress Candace placed upon herself rippled out to poison them all. Every time an alarm went off on Candace’s phone, Tessa watched her father twitch and scrunch up his eyes in a kind of pain she had never before witnessed from him. He was a man transformed from the one she had known growing up. He had been a heavy, sharp presence in her life. The kind of man to yell at his children in restaurants for spilling their juice, to push them into playing team sports even if all they wanted to do was chase butterflies through the soccer field, to demand longform birth certificates from their boyfriends.

Tessa had spent enough time unpacking her father’s mind games during overpriced armchair therapy sessions in wide-windowed offices on the Upper West Side to know how this had affected her upbringing. Ladies with round glasses and high-waisted khakis would say cookie-cutter phrases like, “It sounds like you still harbor a lot of resentment about your father,” and Tessa would laugh all the way to the bar.

When she told Candace that she was seeing a therapist, her sister’s voice had dropped to whisper. “Don’t tell dad,” she said, “You know he thinks therapy is a liberal conspiracy.”

She did and she loved telling her therapists about her father’s conspiracy theories, as if the only reason she paid $200 a session was to give them a well-rounded character arc. Sometimes, although she would never give her sister or father the satisfaction of knowing this, she wondered if therapy was indeed some kind of machination on the part of a government that wanted to fill its people with an unending supply of self-doubt. She bought it in bulk from Whole Foods alongside the kale smoothies that would also likely give her father a conniption.

Now that her father’s sharpness had melted along with his beer belly and thick jowl, revealing a softer, calmer man, Tessa thought that maybe she wouldn’t have to have the conversation with him that she dreaded the most. She had been home for nearly three days, with just passing mentions and references made to the recent political shift in the country, before they stumbled upon it head-on and must as she attempted to pivot away, it was too late.

They had just finished up lunch –– tuna fish for her, mashed potatoes for him –– when he looked up at her with his shrunken face and asked, “So how is your snowflake island dealing with the latest reality check?” For a man with nearly no muscle on his body, he sure didn’t pull his punches. This was the father she had slyly avoided for the last nine years; the man who demanded a recount at her elementary school class president elections when the girl who campaigned on building a compost heap won, the man who created a facebook page just to share articles he found on Conservative Daily.

She thought about saying nothing, biting the insides of her cheeks until they burned like she had so many times in her childhood. Unlike when he would say things like this over the phone, she could not just roll her eyes and make up a quick excuse to hang up. She had to say something.  

“Well, we’re not doing so great, dad,” she said, her eyes bouncing across every surface in the living room to avoid her father’s eye contact. “I’ve never seen so many people cry in public than on November 9th. On the bus, in the streets, waiting in line at the pharmacy. People think their lives are in danger.”

He sighed and shook his head. If he had been the man he once was, he might have raised his voice, but he couldn’t anymore. He could only mumble. “Danger from what? The only people who are in danger are those who don’t deserve to be here anyways. I honestly don’t understand why you can’t get that. It’s like you’re pretending that the first eighteen years of your life never happened. Like nothing I said mattered at all.”

Tessa knew she shouldn’t be shocked anymore by the things her father said. Nothing should shock her, and yet. “No, I don’t even want to have this conversation with you. How is it up to you to decide who deserves to be here or not? Why do we deserve to be here just because we’re white?”

“White! This fucking liberal arts education I shelled out for really did a number on you, Tessa. Paid $200,000 for you to hate yourself and your own family. This has nothing to do with being white and you know that.”

There was no arguing with a brick wall –– this was the logic she had used to squirm and sidestep her way out of confrontation with her dear, dying father for the last year. He was a brick wall, now cemented even further in righteousness due to the victory of his belief systems personified.“I can’t, anymore,” she said and held her hands up and walked away.

***

Her father didn’t die, at least not right away, like Candace thought he would. He lived from day to day, breath to breath. In the early mornings when frost crept like spidery fingers across the window panes, Tessa would wake up and touch his shoulder lightly, half-expecting him not to open his eyes. But he kept living –– angrier and more hollow every day.

A month into being back at home, Tessa spent most of the interminable hours of the afternoon when Candace was at work and her dad slept scrolling through flights and trains and rental cars she never booked. The longer she stayed, the more her feet sunk in the quicksand of her childhood home. She knew she’d suffocate soon, but she couldn’t get herself to move.

Headlines pierced the vortex of everyday life: CIA concludes with 'high confidence' Russia tried 'to help Trump get elected'; Trump chooses fossil fuel industry ally to head EPA; Trump attends 'heroes and villains' costume party as himself. Outside of the vortex, the world churned.

After he could not keep down his lunch, she wiped the vomit off her dad’s chin. When he fell off his chair trying to get the TV remote, she picked his bones back up, horrified at how easy they were to lift. As she walked by the living room one day, she pretended that she could not hear his brittle, aching sobs. It didn’t take four weeks for her to come to wish that she wanted him to die. And she soothed her own aching sobs by assuring herself that he likely wanted to die too.

Candace, meanwhile, was quickly unraveling in her own way. She had stopped doing the dishes and keeping the rest of the house clean, so soon the maelstrom of the living room infected every other room too. Although she only worked four hour shifts these days at Kohl’s on Main St., she wouldn’t come home until well after dinner –– usually plain noodles, rice, or cereal these days –– and arrive with her hair matted and eyes darting, making up lazy excuses about a broken exhaust pipe or customer service emergency. Tessa thought that perhaps this was Candace’s way of exacting revenge for not being there all those months of spoonfeeding and doctor’s visits and chemotherapy.

One thing was certain: each of them were completely alone. Her father –– empty, dying, boorish eyes in the body of a house of cards, falling but not fast enough to the end. Her sister –– one knot atop another, bloody fingertips, a mind meandering off the ledge. And Tessa –– the one who finally came home and stayed, but still every morning awoke with a jolt to notice that she was back in her childhood bedroom. The world spun on while they spun out.“You know I love you, right?” Her father said one day as they sat, for hours in silence, watching the wind thump against the branches of the bare willow tree in the front yard.

She pondered that for a moment. Maybe she hadn’t known. “Yes, of course, daddy,” she said instead, reaching out to pat his hand, pulsing with thick, purple veins. “And I love you too.”

He smiled and put his hand over hers and they sat there in silence once more for another two hours.

A week later her father was dead.