#does this describe it well enough? probably not because it is 12 am and i am tired

[someonesomewheredown]

Don't get philosophical at 12 am you WILL fall into the trap of feeling that, in the same way that all history has already come and gone, your own life is similarly predetermined in the history books of the future 🤣

[mimicha-arts]

Date: 09/29 SPOILERS FOR S2 Part 1

I don't know how many times I rewrote everything, my documents flew away for dozens of pages, so I will divide my post into several parts.

I like to theorize and explain things to myself, but at the moment every new question that comes up contradicts every answer I found. I don’t have a lot of time now, and unfortunately I have to write first, then translate. So I don't know when I will be able to edit the next part and post it.

In the first post I want to talk about time, number of attempts, and what the original reality is. My friendly reminder - this is all just empty speculation and I'm just having fun (while crying actually). I'm pretty sure that when we get trailers and more information about canon, I'll change my mind a lot. But that's it for now.

Time

The events in s2 take place in a short time. In the last interview it was said that about 3 days had passed. so. October, 23th - Lu Guang was stabbed, Cheng Xiaoshi was interrogated during the day, the events in the hospital placed during the evening. October, 24th - Chen Bin's funeral, Cheng Xiaoshi dived in his photo October, 25th - dive in Li Tianxi's photo, interrogation of Li Tianchen, time loop, Lu Guang's kidnapping October, 26th - everything that happened in the theater and in the tunnel Plus taking into account the time (about a month) they spent in the hospital, ep12 ends at the end of November/beginning of December, congratulations. The start of the new year is almost here, have we really crossed the critical point for Cheng Xiaoshi and he won't be forever 21? Heh.

9/13 is not the date of Cheng Xiaoshi's death,  it has to be 9/12. Below I will describe why I think that this is not his first attempt, and in this case more than 5 minutes have definitely passed. Time has not stood still, seconds are passing. Lu Guang's watch does not say five in the morning, but midnight and five minutes. The date of the password is Lu Guang's reminder, corresponding exactly to the time of the dive. If that's the case, I believe that each new reality is a new password corresponding to the time of  diving, as a reminder of the previous failure. 

Technically, I think that Cheng Xiaoshi actually died at 5:35 in the original timeline - this date was indicated, everything led to it, but in the end it was not shown  in s2 itself. The events in the tunnel do not correspond to this time, since the actions took place earlier (the meeting at the theater was scheduled for 3 am, the rest of the events happened very quickly, the whole action couldn't have lasted for 2 hours and a half, so I think everything happened before approximately 4 am or so).

It coincides too well with this broken time in the Overthink. So, I am desperate enough to believe that  Cheng Xiaoshi's death occurred at 05:35 (as actual time). Even if the specific time in the ED can be perceived as 5:20, because that is literally the reason why Lu Guang broke the time - his wish that Cheng Xiaoshi could live, his love for Cheng Xiaoshi. It is possible that time passed in the original reality - literally from this moment until the last attempt at 00:05. So maybe. While Lu Guang lives one life after another, in fact, Lu Guang is truly “frozen” in this 12-13 September, and not even a day has passed in the original timeline. Why do I think that exactly this amount of time has passed (more than five minutes, but less than a day)?

It’s difficult to say at all that Cheng Xiaoshi died in the photo studio in the first place.

There are changes in the design of their room.

Lu Guang probably washed the blood from his hands, so he spent some time for it, but did not change his clothes, still covered in blood, even has traces of blood on his face. (Did Cheng Xiaoshi touch his face before he died? Did Lu Guang himself cry, covering his face with hands? Oh, boy)

I'll talk about details in the next part.

Again and again

I feel sorry for him. He is the most pathetic, most selfish, most insane person in the universe. I love it so much.

I believe we have not yet seen the actual chronology in terms of events, but we have seen the original timeline in terms of Lu Guang's insane room.

I’m sure this is not his first dive; we have always had the symbolism of constant resets. Again and again, again and again, again and again. I think there have been many attempts. As many as there were photographs he could find - if the ability works the same way as Cheng Xiaoshi use it himself, and he should be the author of the photo, we can only cover our heads with our hands and cry.

This is Lu Guang's POV - Lu Guang already knew that the death node cannot be changed (meaning he already tried), but he still wants to use the very last attempt to try.

He looks so dead inside, it's impossible. In my understanding: he initially used earlier photographs that were closer to September, the death of Cheng Xiaoshi in the original reality, and then dived deeper and deeper into the past, into more distant events.

Let's go back to s1. It is still difficult to say how many times the events were repeated. Lu Guang himself confirmed it in his words that this happened more than once. There have been a lot of attempts, he himself said “no matter how hard you try".

I think that “last chance” meant just that, last chance. From what he said, we know that a photo can only be used once. If s1 showed us the events of the current timeline, which I believe, this was probably one of the earliest photos that Lu Guang could use - a photo that happened before their first meeting. Back to their real beginning. This… tritely has a beautiful and symbolic logic behind it. Current events are “all or nothing.”

The photo studio from the flashback is the original universe, this reality is not destroyed, he returns to it after each original attempt. We know that Cheng Xiaoshi died many times in many different ways. If there have been many attempts, if the attempts are limited to photographs, all he can do is use them from some original point.

Like I think he can't get an "infinite" number of attempts by using the photos again within the "past" he returned to. In my opinion, “dive within a dive” is impossible. I don't think that after diving, there is a possibility of another dive by the same person inside the diving - because it makes more sense if Lu Guang has an invisible timer that reminds him - the time is running out.

I think the design of their room in the original timeline confirms this. Their table is always full of books, there are things, lamps, even framed photo. Everything is empty. If these were the events immediately after Сheng Xiaoshi's death, would their room be so lifeless?

I'm inclined to think that Lu Guang went through all their belongings, used every possible attempt to find suitable photographs that would allow him to try to rewrite the events again.

I find destroyed or burned photographs more symbolic of failed attempts being burned, too - after all, a photo can only be used once, everything is changing, it’s not a time loop. Every used photo, every reality that doesn't turn out well, is another crossed out opportunity. But remembering his words about the destruction of photos - I think that we will see this again in the context of the fact that he destroyed the photos himself. It is quite possible that he destroys the photo after the dive to erase the reality/time where Cheng Xiaoshi died again as a fact. Because… otherwise a terrible situation will arise. If Lu Guang possesses himself from a photo, then after leaving it after Cheng Xiaoshi's death, the original!Lu Guang moves back to the original line, while Lu Guang from the rewritten timeline remains in the timeline where Cheng Xiaoshi is dead (and if the events are rewritten so deeply, it is not at all clear what will happen to his memory). Therefore, I am sure that the original Lu Guang must destroy the photographs because of this as well.

I was wondering if he destroys the photo while diving, right after it - maybe that's how the mechanics could work, I would say, of how he "locks" himself into a certain reality. But since I believe that he should return to the "original point", I do not think that this is possible - if he doesn't need to come back, if he just "dives after diving" further into the next timeline, it won't make sense: more photos can be taken, attempts won't end with a limit. But do I like this idea for the last attempt? That he has to live his entire life from the very beginning without a “save point” to return to? Oh. Yes. Note: I considered the possibility that there is no original timeline as a starting point for diving, that he dives again after diving inside the dive itself, destroys the photo immediately inside the dive, that everything is repeated again, no limit either. Just at some point Lu Guang himself decides there is no point in continuing to use any photos from this period, so decided to use a photo corresponding to the very very beginning. But in doesn't make sense, in any case he will have the opportunity to take more photos that he could use for further dives, this does not create a " the last try" point (even if it was possible, also knowing Lu Guang’s character, I don’t think that he could partly “give up”, partly take such risks voluntarily)

But it's still questionable. Because, if the original timeline exists, all dives were made from there, then a simple problem arises - given Cheng Xiaoshi's ability, all dives take place in “real time”, i.e. in the original reality the same amount of time should also pass. We all understand that this is impossible, it is difficult to imagine how many attempts Lu Guang made, how many years actually passed.

So, if we believe that the “original reality” is a thing, then the combination of their abilities, becoming a “perfect fusion,” has other limits, other specifics of using and/or the original timeline is so broken that time only passes when Lu Guang exists in it.

The original universe… or?

I hope I've made it clear enough before - in my opinion the original timeline was shown to us in terms of the timeline from where he dives into the photos. Their room. Because there must be something that creates a limited number of attempts.

But I have some doubts about the fact that what we saw in the vision or flashback is the original timeline, too. Yes, they could have shown us the very first death of Cheng Xiaoshi, this would even be logical, but the problem is that this is only relevant if we agree that Lu Guang has white hair from birth.

Considering that the hints themselves within the series may turn out to be a joke, I still haven't completely dismissed this idea. The only characters with unusual hair color are twins, but they are like that at least because of genetics, they inherited it from their mother. While the issue with Lu Guang remains open.

Therefore, I am considering 2 simple options: 1. Lu Guang's hair was originally white from birth, so we shouldn't expect him to have a different design in the original timeline. Or Lu Guang's hair turned white before Cheng Xiaoshi's death for some other reason. Then we can safely say that the events of the flashback is the original universe.

2. Lu Guang's hair was not originally white, but his hair gradually turned white with each dive attempt due to overpowering, trying too many times, and overusing his abilities.

If we consider the second option, then:

The flashback events shown to us are one of the later attempts, for example, the penultimate one, which is generally a possible option. That version of death, when Cheng Xiaoshi received a very similar injury to Lu Guang - that why the flashbacks were specifically about this late attempt.

The events shown to us are this current reality in which Cheng Xiaoshi was/has to be the 7th case, and this is exactly the death that was intended for him in this timeline - but this period of time, from April to September, was cut out and "stolen", just as case 7 disappeared. And that in the most recent attempt, not only was time rewritten “from the very beginning,” from the very first photo, but something else happened to prevent Cheng Xiaoshi’s death at the appointed time.

The one who was supposed to die in the photo studio when Lu Guang was stabbed - was Cheng Xiaoshi himself, and what was shown was not a flashback, but Lu Guang's vision of how things could have been different (if we perceive the forest not as a literal location, but a symbol) . I doubt it, but let's leave this possibility open.

Why do I even think that the white hair theory could be real? Of course, maybe it's just the light, but maybe… Due to Li Tianxi's memories and abilities, taking over the memories from the other reality in which Lu Guang lived, Qiao Ling's hair also changed a bit. Pay attention to the only white strain in her hair. This is an extremely interesting and rather intentional detail.

If this is the case, then Qiao Ling's white hair is a hint. This does not mean that every attempt is 1 white strand of hair. It's not that… literal. This is an artistic way of allowing the viewer to speculate if this is the case.

I'm not betting on any particular idea, given that things can't be that simple and we don't really know how September-April will be explained. Another problem is why Lu Guang is wearing a watch on his other hand in this shot. Everything may be different, case 7 may be about a completely different character. But I also think many things will be connected at some point.

Photos and OP

There are a lot of photographs. So many. As we remember from Dive Back in Time. There will be two key ones - thanks to Vortex.

One of which is precisely related to the moment that allowed Lu Guang to travel 6 years (or more) into the past - to the moment they even met. Would this be a photo at school? Was it an accidental photo left behind? I have much more painful though. Their “very beginning” has a huge chance of not being high school time, but as I mentioned before, I’ll leave that for a separate post.

But the other one? I can’t imagine clearly, of course, but for me there are 3 ways:

This is about the current timeline - September-October were influenced by the use of a different photo - it will let us understand what the 7th case and one of the main storylines.

The starting point from where Lu Guang began his attempts to save Cheng Xiaoshi and change his fate. The core one.

If we believe the hints in the art book, the intro, the dark design of Cheng Xiaoshi, then the photo will be from the moment where something happens to make CXS become depresso!CXS.

I had hopes that the teaser would be about s3, and thus something would become clearer in my head, but… For now, we can only build theories for the next year or two.

Thank you for reading ~

[jules-writes-stories]

Anon was very callous about it but you do write Mithras as a stereotypical twink and have him bottom exclusively; you gave Eris a lot of the same qualities as him (feminine, thin, smaller than his partner, flamboyant) and I think that is probably what throws some people like anon off. Not saying it doesn't work in the story because it does, it's well written, but Azriel doesn't have any submissive traits about him so I think people find it hard to believe he might fit into a submissive role.

Anon,

Long reply ahead: I’ll try and address everything you mention!

1. I never want to imply that Eris is physically weaker than Azriel. He’s not. In the very first scene they’re together, I say he and Az are close in height. Az is slightly taller and Eris is leaner in build.

Eris is a war general and warrior. I try to make that clear multiple times in the story. The story has not offered a chance to show Eris in his role as a warrior/general yet, but there are scenes where he spars with Sylvan and Lucien and he owns the Autumn Council in Chapter 2.

I’m not sure I would describe my Eris as outright flamboyant… (I think Mithras more so, but some of that is affect).

But I want readers to picture Eris how they want, so if flamboyant and femme works, go for it! I definitely say he favors the LoA in looks (a plot device, but I can see how it may be interpreted.)

He is not a bear, and he’s bratty, he’s pretty to look at (all Vanserra boys are imo), and he kikis with Fidel, always serves a look, so Ok. I can see what you’re saying. Bottom line: there’s a lot left to interpretation. And that is intentional. Some of it is vibes and just what the character told me while writing him. I am ok with people reading him as a Twink (although I would warn against reducing him to solely that— he is much more). But I also think I’ve left it open enough that readers are not forced to see him as that, because the term Twink sort of implies he’s just one thing?

2. I can also see how easy it is to equate Mithras x Sylvan’s ship with Azris, since (without giving much away) there are parallels. But a quick reminder: Azriel and Eris have known of each other for 5 centuries and their mating bond snapped (in JEL) at the HL meeting.

Mithras x Syl have known each other for significantly less time. They care for each other and there’s chemistry/potential— I love them—but as of now, they’re not mates. So their sexual relationship is new. They haven’t explored or had the opportunity to grow.

3. One of the reasons I bring up this difference: I have Eris top Az in the last chapter because I want to express that Azris (through their bond, love/shared trauma) have an innate understanding of what the other needs in moments of crisis.

Chapter 12– the Velaris Chapter—Eris is overwhelmed and struggling. Azriel takes him to Velaris and Eris “lets go” emotionally, (musically lol), sexually— and Azriel is there to “catch” him, right?

Chapter 18—after Azriel’s torture scene—there’s a role reversal. It’s not about one character having power over the other— It’s about a character who struggles with vulnerability letting go and knowing his mate will catch him/carry him home (metaphorically).

So even if Eris is a twink (non-comittal because I want readers to have their own views and want to avoid being reductive) I don’t think it precludes him from topping, particularly in the loving/nurturing way he does this for Az, when he realizes it’s what his bat needs. It’s more about Azriel being vulnerable rather than submissive? A relinquishing of control, versus a giving away power.

TLDR: it’s not really about penetration. It’s more about giving each other the chance to be vulnerable, to trust, be cared for and to let go.

Real life example: Troye Sivan is a self described Twink who also identifies as a Vers…

I hope I made sense in this very long reply!

[novelmonger]

1-4 & 10-12 for The Unlikely Escape of Uriah Heep, 9-15 for FMA, 1 & 16-18 for Anne of Green Gables, 8-12 for Half-Magic, and 1, 3, 19, and 20 for The Little Riders, please?

The Unlikely Escape of Uriah Heep by H.G. Parry

what got you into this story?

My dear friend @rainintheevening recommended it to me, and I'm so glad she did! I wasn't even 20 pages in before I looked up from the page and went, "Ohoho, this book was definitely written for me!"

2. describe it in one or two sentences.

Charley Sutherland has always had the ability to read characters out of books and into real life. But when Uriah Heep, the villain from David Copperfield, begins to cause trouble, his older brother (who is perfectly ordinary in every way) will have to go to great lengths to help him out of his predicament.

3. quickly list 3 things you like about the story!

IT'S ABOUT BROTHERS

IT'S A BOOK ABOUT BOOKS

It started to look like the ending was going to be tragic, BUT IT WASN'T I CRYYYYYYYYYY T^T

4. assign this story a hyper-specific genre name, e.g. "inspirational religious semi-horror sci-fi western" (yes, that's Trigun)

Speculative literary brother fiction crossover thriller

10. if you made an amv about this, what song would you set it to?

"Brother" by Kodaline

I mean, would you look at these lyrics?

Oh brother, we'll go deeper than the ink Beneath the skin of our tattoos Though we don't share the same blood You're my brother and I love you that's the truth

;aldksj;sdkfl;sdkfldslkfj TT___TT

11. if you were put in the main character's position, how well would that go for you on a scale of 1-5?

Umm...maybe like a 4? Rob is a very normal kind of guy, and while I'm not a lawyer like him, most of the things he does are fairly ordinary, all things considered. (Well, it's not an ordinary situation at all, but I mean he doesn't have hidden magic or anything.) There's nothing particularly special about him except the lengths he's willing to go to for his brother. And I'd like to think I would do the same for my siblings if need be.

12. assuming your loved ones would be there, would you want to live in the world of the story?

YES. A world where I could potentially meet my favorite characters from beloved stories? Yeah, okay, some of the more unsavory characters show up too, but...like...I could have tea with Dumbledore. I could share crunchings and munchings with Gurgi. I could hang out with Pippi Longstocking! Maybe I could even give Kaladin Stormblessed a hug :')

Full Metal Alchemist by Hiromu Arakawa

9. give the most UNHELPFUL and/or SILLY summary possible.

A fake human uses a double amputee, a tin can, a war criminal, a butcher, and some old guy to try to become God. He fails because he didn't brush up on meteorology enough.

10. if you made an amv about this, what song would you set it to?

Funny you should ask, because I've got several ideas floating around in my head that I could actually make a reality if I just sat down and took the time! The first AMV idea I ever got, years and years ago, was one set to "Memories" by Within Temptation.

11. if you were put in the main character's position, how well would that go for you on a scale of 1-5?

Lol. 1. I would die immediately. I don't have a head for numbers or science, so I would probably be horrible at alchemy. Even if I somehow got clap-alchemy from the Truth (though how I'd be able to manage human transmutation to get that far is anyone's guess), I would fail miserably to do the things Ed does, because I am very flabby and weak and cowardly. Also I don't think I would have the gumption to do half the things he does, like pushing through the pain of automail surgery. Yeah, sorry, the world is doomed if I'm put in Ed's place.

12. assuming your loved ones would be there, would you want to live in the world of the story?

As much as I adore this story, I think I'd actually say no. There's so much danger and war on every side, and I don't much fancy the thought of losing my soul to a whirling vortex (even if my soul does get put back!). I've already laid out how I wouldn't be an alchemist, so there wouldn't even be that to compensate. Maybe I'd visit after it's no longer a fascist military state, though.

13. tell me an out-of-context piece of worldbuilding or lore!

Did you know that Amestris was the wife of Artaxerxes, king of Persia?

14. how likely do you think this story is to break a reader's heart? If you're not done with the story, just guess.

I'm biased, but I think it's pretty much guaranteed. If your heart doesn't break at least a little bit at a certain little girl and her dog, I'm not sure you have one. And there are so many other parts where I cried really hard, not least at the ending of the first anime. All I wanted to do after I finished it the first time was lie in my bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out how to carry on with my life ^^'

15. what time are you most likely to be found reading/watching this story? (time of year, time of day, season of life, whatever makes sense to you)

ALL DAY ALL THE TIME.

Lol, that would have been my answer in my teenage years, but admittedly my attention has strayed to other fandoms more recently. I'm still down to read/watch FMA anytime at the drop of a hat, but these days I'm most likely to dip back into it this time of year, because I always try to have something to post for FMA Day on October 3rd. (Which reminds me, I need to get cracking on that D:)

Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

what got you into this story?

I guess you could call it peer pressure, kinda? I just kept hearing people praising it over the years, until finally I decided I should probably see what all the fuss was about, rather than just writing it off as Not For Me because I decided that back when I was eight or something. And once I did start reading, it didn't take long for Anne to win me over ^_^

16. do you think this story has broad appeal, or is it meant for a very specific audience? if it's more "niche", what kind of person would most enjoy this story?

I do think it has broad appeal, though I'd still say it's not for everybody. Clearly, Baby Novie decided it wasn't for her because there wasn't enough high adventure in it. I think most people would be able to find something relatable or at least enjoyable about it, but some people might need to wait until they're mature enough to appreciate its merits ;)

17. compare this story to your usual tastes. how does it differ from what you've already enjoyed?

I usually prefer books with more fantastical elements in them, or at least adventuring, and that was especially true when I tried to read this book as a kid. I will certainly read the occasional historical fiction about ordinary, everyday ups and downs, but even so, I'm usually more inclined to reach for something like Austen or Dickens that has a more complicated, twisty-turny plot.

18. compare this story to your usual tastes. what parts of it are exactly the kind of thing you've always loved?

I'm actually kind of surprised this was never assigned for school, because it feels a lot like the kind of book I read a lot, and probably one I would have enjoyed more than some of the other stuff we had to read. If I'd only made the connection that it takes place around the same time as the Mandie books, I probably would have really latched onto it (even though Anne isn't about mysteries), because that was my bread and butter for several years as a kid. And Anne of Green Gables would have been much less embarrassing to return to as an adult ^^' Another element that is common to many stories I love is how friendship is treasured so highly.

Half Magic by Edward Eager

8. what questions are or were you most excited to learn the answers to while experiencing the story for the first time?

Oh man, it's been so long since the first time I read this book, I can't really remember. Especially because I was never really an "active reader" as a kid. I never stopped to ask questions, I just inhaled stories, and whatever happened in it, that was how it obviously had to be ^^' And by now, I've read the book so many times I know it back to front, and there aren't really any more questions that I care about.

At a guess, though, I might have wondered where the talisman came from and where I could get one :P

9. give the most UNHELPFUL and/or SILLY summary possible.

This book teaches you about fractions :)

10. if you made an amv about this, what song would you set it to?

Uhhhh...I really don't know. Probably some kind of instrumental track, maybe piano? And it would just be a montage of the whole story, I think.

11. if you were put in the main character's position, how well would that go for you on a scale of 1-5?

I'd say a 4 or a 5. I'd like to think I'd do pretty well at remembering not to say "I wish" out loud as much as they do, but that's never how these things go. But most of the times I say that, it's usually just things like "I wish I could remember..." or "I wish I knew why..." And I don't see how the consequences of that kind of accidental wish could be too dire XD

12. assuming your loved ones would be there, would you want to live in the world of the story?

A THOUSAND TIMES YES. How many times did I daydream about what my siblings and I would do if we got a wish-granting adventure like in the books? It might be a little annoying to have to put up with 1920s America or whenever it's supposed to be, but...wish-granting talisman. Come on.

The Little Riders by Margaretha Shemin

what got you into this story?

This was assigned for school. I don't remember when exactly that was, but I think it was a read-aloud rather than one I read to myself, so maybe first or second grade? And I just remember it being one of the books that stood out to me amongst all the others.

3. quickly list 3 things you like about the story!

It offers a unique perspective on WWII, humanizing the Nazi soldiers when most of the time, we're all content to just think of them as nothing but monsters.

It's tense and exciting - will the soldier find the little riders?!

Illustrated by Peter Spier, a staple of my childhood picture books!

19. pitch an idea for a sequel or spinoff novel for this story!

What about a parallel story about the soldier's family? What was their experience like during the war?

20. what's the WORST thing about this story, in your opinion? (feel free to be positive, e.g. "it's not longer", if you want!)

Okay, yes, I could definitely do with a longer version of this book. I would have liked more exploration of Johanna's experience of being an American girl growing up in Holland with her grandparents. Did she have culture shock at first? Does she feel more at home in Holland now? For the lack of exploration they do into her unique situation, I almost think it would have been better to just have her be a Dutch girl who's lived in Holland all her life. The extra details of her father being in the U.S. Navy kind of feels superfluous.

Story Ask Game

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Interlude 1 Live Reactions

(This is me, writing reactions as I read, because why the fuck not. They're not complete, mature thoughts taken after I sit back and evaluate what I've read. Consider them as such)

You know, I'm making reading Worm harder on myself by doing this. :thinking_face: Or at least more prolonged.

“We don’t know how long he had been there.  Suspended in the air above the Atlantic Ocean.  On May twentieth, 1982, an ocean liner was crossing from Plymouth to Boston when a passenger spotted him.  He was naked, his arms to his sides, his long hair blowing in the wind as he stood in the sky, nearly a hundred feet above the gently cresting waves.  His skin and hair can only be described as a burnished gold.  With neither body hair nor clothes to cover him, it is said, he seemed almost artificial.

Scion! Everyone's favorite world-destroying genocidal golden freakshow!

“The golden age of the parahumans was thus short lived.  They were not the deific figures they had appeared to be.  Parahumans were, after all, people with powers, and people are flawed at their core.  Government agencies took a firmer hand, and state-” The television flicked off, and the screen went black, cutting the documentary off mid sentence.  Danny Hebert sighed and sat down on the bed, only to stand just a moment later and resume pacing.

While this is an important infodump, the 'character watching something on the TV' form of the infodump is probably the most... bland version of it, that's not just a David Weber style 'let's insert two pages on the history of hyperspace in the middle of this high speed chase scene' infodump.

It's fascinating worldbuilding, and it's always fucking hard to get it out, but this... not quite sure it works for me.

Also, Hi Danny!

Danny ran his hands through his hair, which was thinned enough at the top to be closer to baldness than not.  He liked to be the first to arrive at work, watching everyone arrive, having them know he was there for them.  So he usually went to bed early; he’d turn in at ten in the evening, give or take depending on what was on TV.  Only tonight, a little past midnight, he’d been disturbed from restless sleep when he had felt rather than heard the shutting of the back door of the house, just below his bedroom.  He had checked on his daughter, and he’d found her room empty.

It's 12:30 am! Do You Know Where You're Children Are?

Danny fucking doesn't! :rofl:

(I may have a bent sense of humor)

He had resigned himself to letting her reveal the details in her own time, but months had passed without any hints or clues being offered.

I can certainly see why 'Danny is a Shit Dad' is a take in the fandom, though most fics I've read thus far don't go quite that far.

Sure, he's not being a shit dad here, but he's definitely not winning father of the year here.

While it's good to give children their space, at some point you do need to push, and Danny is clearly not doing well with that.

Taylor hadn’t said as much aloud, but whatever had been going on had been mean, persistent and threatening enough that Emma, Taylor’s closest friend for years, had stopped spending time with her.  It galled him.

Danny's known Emma for probably as long as Taylor has, give or take. It should seem obvious to him, I think, but everyone has their blindspots, and Danny seems like he's been checked out - not really of his own will - for a while.

Like, based on what I've read so far, and what I've seen from discussions and in fanfic, the worm-verse sucks. It's all going to shit slowly, though Brockton Bay does in particular seem to be a particularly bad case of it.

But equally, there's just a lot of people who just don't really seem to be trying? Which, realistic, especially when it seems hopeless and pointless but I'm not sure it's entirely so likely people give up so damn hard.

And yeah, there are people trying, but honestly, the whole picture of the wormverse - I mean, there's clearly a reason why people call it 'grimdark' and 'grimderp' (if they're detractors)

And also, unreliable narrator and all, or at least 'narrator with a specific perspective' but when that's all we have, it's all we have to go on. Unreliabl/biased/etc narrator can only cover so many authorial and worldbuilding sins.

(Whether or not such sins actually are present here remains to be seen.)

 Danny Hebert felt a thrill of relief coupled with abject fear.  If he went downstairs to find his daughter, would he find her hurting or hurt?  Or would his presence make things worse, her own father seeing her at her most vulnerable after humiliation at the hands of bullies?  She had told him, in every way except articulating it aloud, that she didn’t want that.  She had pleaded with him, with body language and averted eye contact, unfinished sentences and things left unsaid, not to ask, not to push, not to see, when it came to the bullying.  He couldn’t say why, exactly.  Home was an escape from that, he’d suspected, and if he recognized the bullying, made it a reality here, maybe she wouldn’t have that relief from it.  Perhaps it was shame, that his daughter didn’t want him to see her like that, didn’t want to be that weak in front of him.  He really hoped that wasn’t the case.

Not that I don't understand why Danny doesn't push, and yeah, teenagers need their space to process shit on their own sometimes, but also, really, Danny, you need to make that effort.

I get it, I do, but fucking hell man.

 He was being cowardly, he thought, as if his clearing of his throat would give reality to his fears.

On the other hand, it is hard not to sympathize. He knows he needs to do better, but for so many reasons, he can't and won't and doesn't. He needs, wants to do better, and yet can't, at least not yet. And there's reasons why, both internally and externally and it hurts him to not, to see Taylor like this, but he's as trapped as anyone else.

It's a very workmanlike quality so far, writingwise, I think, but that's always something I tend to prefer. And even then, Wildbow does manage to evoke and imply a lot with that.

He was stopped by the smell of jam and toast.  She had made a late night snack.  It filled him with relief.  He couldn’t imagine his daughter, after being mugged, tormented or humiliated, coming home to have toast with jam as a snack.  Taylor was okay, or at least, okay enough to be left alone.

I mean, he (theoretically) knows his daughter well enough to say this with confidence, but eating after being tormented or humiliated could be a comfort thing.

Granted, Danny's not wrong here, and presumably he does know Taylor well enough, or did, for this to be a fair reading by him? Or are we meant to see it as an oversight from him, because clearly he doesn't know his daughter as well as he thought?

Relief became anger.  He was angry at Taylor, for making him worry, and then not even going out of her way to let him know she was okay.  He felt a smouldering resentment towards the city, for having neighborhoods and people he couldn’t trust his daughter to.  He hated the bullies that preyed on his daughter.  Underlying it all was frustration with himself.  Danny Hebert was the one person he could control in all of this, and Danny Hebert had failed to do anything that mattered.  He hadn’t gotten answers, hadn’t stopped the bullies, hadn’t protected his daughter.  Worst of all was the idea that this might have happened before, with him simply sleeping through it rather than laying awake.

Honestly, this whole interlude feels like it breaks several of the conventional rules of advice for writing - don't have a character spend too much time introspecting alone, don't infodump too much at once...

And yet, it works. Which both speaks to how... useless that conventional advice often proves to be, and how confident (justifably so) Wildbow was in this that he'd present us a big dump and then all the introspection character-work.

Then again, there's a target audience for both, which again brings us back to the issues with that advice.

He stopped himself from walking into his daughter’s room, from shouting at her and demanding answers, even if it was what he wanted, more than anything.  Where had she been, what had she been doing?  Was she hurt?  Who were these people that were tormenting her?  He knew that by confronting her and getting angry at her, he would do more harm than good, would threaten to sever any bond of trust they had forged between them. Danny’s father had been a powerful, heavyset man, and Danny hadn’t gotten any of those genes.  Danny had been a nerd when the term was still young in popular culture, stick thin, awkward, short sighted, glasses, bad fashion sense.  What he had inherited was his father’s famous temper.  It was quick to rise and startling in its intensity.  Unlike his father, Danny had only ever hit someone in anger twice, both times when he was much younger.  That said, just like his father, he could and would go off on tirades that would leave people shaking.  Danny had long viewed the moment he’d started to see himself as a man, an adult, to be the point in time where he had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t ever lose his temper with his family.  He wouldn’t pass that on to his child the way his father had to him.

What's that saying? "They fuck you up, your mom and dad, give you all their problems and then a few new ones" or something like that.

And here though, we have the reason why Danny isn't pushing. Why he's making a choice he knows is bad, because - especially right now - he's in no fit state to press her. And when he will be in a fit state, it probably won't be the right time anyway.

 Four years ago, he had lost his temper with Annette for the first time, breaking his oath to himself.  That had been the last time he had seen her.  Taylor hadn’t been there to see him shouting at her mother, but he was fairly certain she’d heard some of it.  It shamed him.

Broken people, break people. And Broken people aren't really in a great position to help other people who need it.

He would talk to Taylor in the morning.  Get an answer of some sort.

Well, whatever he does, he's obviously not going to get an answer. Wonder what'll go wrong.

[vixstarria]

Writer interview

Tagged by @bardic-inspo - aww thank you! ❤

Tagging @spacebarbarianweird (although I know you have heaps outside of AO3 / original works, so may be a bit tricky), @tragedybunny and @ineadhyn (no pressure!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

17, but some are multi-chapter. All BG3.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

38,869 - I'm just a baby

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A remedy for sleeplessness - Smut. My very first smut, which I also think is my worst, written purely for shits and giggles. 🤷‍♀️

A night at the inn - Smut. Halsin threesome trilogy. This one I actually appreciate having a lot of kudos on.

Missionary with the lights off - Smut, also written for shits and giggles.

Intimacy - Not smut! But does have smut elements.

Seeing stars - You guessed it. Smut.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Oh absolutely. I appreciate every single one of them (and they are so hard to come by!). Also all this, whether tumblr or AO3, is a community - I don't think any of us what to feel like we're just shouting into the void.

(psst, if you are a reader and you think you don't have anything worthwhile to say, or that you're annoying the writer or whatnot - rest assured that is NEVER the case - every single little thing even if it's just a string of emojis is appreciated, and absolutely makes my day)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't really do angst, and especially not angsty endings. I stick to fluff, humour and smut (or a combination of the three). I do add angsty elements sometimes, and so far the ones that touched the most on it are Down by the river and Intimacy - both dealing with Astarion's trauma.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

They all have happy or hopeful endings. The absolute happiest mushiest one is Confession

7. Do you write crossovers?

Nope, at least I haven't yet.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nah, I haven't done anything controversial enough to warrant anger, I think.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Boy do I! All I've been able to write lately seems to be smut, tbh.

I've done a lot of Astarion x f!Tav, sometimes with a third character thrown in. Nothing too crazy.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Probably not.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, I don't know that I would be a great writing partner tbh - sometimes trying to get words out of my brain is like squeezing water out of a rock - I'd hate to let anyone down.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Astarion x my OC has been consuming my mind lately, I suppose I'm going to have to count that.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't know whether I should count it as a WIP, but I've been playing with the idea of having my OC and Astarion have threesomes with all the other companions (we're skipping Karlach because I HC that they're besties of the variety you do not have sex with).

I've recently done one with Wyll, as well as Halsin (twice, actually, and I'll do it again!). Maybe it's time to go for a M/F/F, I haven't done that yet... Hmm...

15. What are your writing strengths?

Going by what I personally find the easiest / am most confident with - dialogue. It's also the funnest part of writing for me, and I've had a fair share of compliments specifically for the banter, or for getting the characters' voices right.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. I can write banter all day, and I'm okay at getting inside a character's head and getting their emotions out, but ask me to describe a sunset (room / dress / whatever) and I'll probably just cry and jump out a window.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm not a fan of this as a reader (occasional words or phrases are okay, if there's a footnote with a translation), and I don't add it as a writer. I tend to just generalise with "he swore in elvish" and similar.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Final Fantasy 8. I wrote little comedic tidbits. (well, 12 year old me thought they were funny, anyway) I don't think any of it has survived to this day.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I don't have any fandoms on my mind besides BG3, but as I've said in no. 14 above, I want to write something M/F/F.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmm, this changes constantly... Ultimately this will hopefully be my longfic that I'm working on.

I think it's a tie between the pure debauched horniness of A night at the inn and the more mellow Seeing stars which also showcases my OC's relationship with Astarion and all the things I think I do best.

[andrea-lyn]

@kaydeefalls is the loveliest ever for tagging me in this meme, bc it's an absolute fave, so ty ty!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

494, which definitely excludes some early career stuff I do not share. Yes, it's a lot, but hey, that's hyperfixation for you!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

3,646,862, which means 4mil is the next big target, and knowing me, I'll get there.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, my WIP folder touches the following fandoms: The Old Guard, Avatar the Last Airbender, XMFC, Interview with the Vampire, Roswell New Mexico (I very much want to write more Roy/Jamie, but just kicking around ideas rn).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

ready for my close up, mr. dameron (Poe/Finn), aka @swingsetindecember baited me with gogurt and I wrote a fic, and the gogurt is unique, but the baiting is not (see: my entire Mag7 oeuvre)

how to fall in love with a fairytale  (Poe/Finn), aka, I got into the Star Wars fandom at the right time

what a tale my thoughts could tell (Joe/Nicky), aka, I got into the Old Guard fandom at the right time and mind-reading does well

Your Hand In Mine (Poe/Finn), aka, see above

hallelujah, you're still mine (Joe/Nicky), also above

The next couple are still Old Guard/Star Wars, but this year a few newbies have crept into the top page, including Ted Lasso and IWTV, which is very exciting to me!

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, always, I am a slut for positive reinforcement and I want to give thanks for that.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Every once in a while I like to write something that guts me to write and makes me cry. Anyway, The Time Traveling Pilot technically has a bittersweet and happy ending, except it's also super angsty? Love the ouroboros of it all!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

....take your pick. With minimal exceptions, I'm a happy ending girlie by trade.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I had a run in Roswell New Mexico where I had to turn off guests because I was getting some really random, but vicious comments and I knew why, but it was still exhausting.

9. Do you write smut?

I've noticed as I get older, I've stopped as much, mostly because the tone doesn't seem to match what I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I'll still include it, but it's usually more in passing than focused.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Hell yes, and I miss them, I need to write more.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, and my biggest piece of advice for any writer is to have an open policy for transformative works on your AO3, because that's how you get awesome translations and podfics!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes, and I love this too, and would love to do more of it. Honestly, sometimes I think that's the only way I'll ever finish the original novel ideas I have.

14. What is your all time favorite ship?

I feel like I don't have all-time faves, but I will say that there are some ships that stick with me even after years and I'll go back to them. Right now, I'd say those two that have longevity are Ronan/Adam, and Kirk/McCoy. Obviously then there are current obsessions like Armand/Daniel and Sokka/Zuko, but those first two just stick.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There's only one. Literally, only ONE. I will probably never finish even though there's only a chapter left. It's a modern day Pride & Prejudice AU. It is literally the only fic I've ever abandoned after I started posting (pretty sure it's still on ff.net) and honestly, the only reason I'm not going back to it is because my style has changed too much.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Engaging plot, or so I like to think. I feel like I tend to have fun unique takes on things.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Not describing shit enough. I do a lot of vague things on purpose sometimes because it fits the mood, and sometimes because I'm just too lazy about my prose.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language during a fic?

So I used to. And then I realized that it's too much work to scroll or highlight, so now I'll just write in italics and denote the language in the prose after.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog or Charmed - I can't remember which came first, but my username comes from the Mary Sues I wrote in both of those fandoms, bc I decided that I might as well own it. And here we are.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It's always a flip-flop between my Webgott (Love Like The Sea) and this one, Baby, I'm Howling For You (my McDanno supernatural big bang). The latter is probably winning right now because I re-read it the other day and I miss world-building like that, so I'm dying to get back to it.

TAGGING TIME! I'm hitting up @myrmidryad @inell @atthelamppost @graygiantess and anyone else who wants to ramble about fics!

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

23rd October >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Wednesday, Twenty Ninth Week in Ordinary Time 

or

Saint John of Capistrano, Priest.

Wednesday, Twenty Ninth Week in Ordinary Time 

(Liturgical Colour: Green. Year: B(II))

First Reading Ephesians 3:2-12 The pagans now share the same inheritance.

You have probably heard how I have been entrusted by God with the grace he meant for you, and that it was by a revelation that I was given the knowledge of the mystery, as I have just described it very shortly. If you read my word you will have some idea of the depths that I see in the mystery of Christ. This that has now been revealed through the Spirit to his holy apostles and prophets was unknown to any men in past generations; it means that pagans now share the same inheritance, that they are parts of the same body, and that the same promise has been made to them, in Jesus Christ, through the gospel. I have been made the servant of that gospel by a gift of grace from God who gave it to me by his own power. I, who am less than the least of all the saints have been entrusted with this special grace, not only of proclaiming to the pagans the infinite treasure of Christ but also of explaining how the mystery is to be dispensed. Through all the ages, this has been kept hidden in God, the creator of everything. Why? So that the Sovereignties and Powers should learn only now, through the Church, how comprehensive God’s wisdom really is, exactly according to the plan which he had had from all eternity in Christ Jesus our Lord. This is why we are bold enough to approach God in complete confidence, through our faith in him.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Isaiah 12 The rejoicing of a redeemed people.

R/ With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.

Truly, God is my salvation, I trust, I shall not fear. For the Lord is my strength, my song, he became my saviour. With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.

R/ With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.

Give thanks to the Lord, give praise to his name! Make his mighty deeds known to the peoples! Declare the greatness of his name.

R/ With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.

Sing a psalm to the Lord for he has done glorious deeds; make them known to all the earth! People of Zion, sing and shout for joy, for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel.

R/ With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.

Gospel Acclamation John 10:27

Alleluia, alleluia! The sheep that belong to me listen to my voice, says the Lord, I know them and they follow me. Alleluia!

Or: Matthew 24:42,44

Alleluia, alleluia! Stay awake and stand ready, because you do not know the hour when the Son of Man is coming. Alleluia!

Gospel Luke 12:39-48 The Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

Jesus said to his disciples: ‘You may be quite sure of this, that if the householder had known at what hour the burglar would come, he would not have let anyone break through the wall of his house. You too must stand ready, because the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.’ Peter said, ‘Lord, do you mean this parable for us, or for everyone?’ The Lord replied, ‘What sort of steward, then, is faithful and wise enough for the master to place him over his household to give them their allowance of food at the proper time? Happy that servant if his master’s arrival finds him at this employment. I tell you truly, he will place him over everything he owns. But as for the servant who says to himself, “My master is taking his time coming,” and sets about beating the menservants and the maids, and eating and drinking and getting drunk, his master will come on a day he does not expect and at an hour he does not know. The master will cut him off and send him to the same fate as the unfaithful. The servant who knows what his master wants, but has not even started to carry out those wishes, will receive very many strokes of the lash. The one who did not know, but deserves to be beaten for what he has done, will receive fewer strokes. When a man has had a great deal given him, a great deal will be demanded of him; when a man has had a great deal given him on trust, even more will be expected of him.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

--------------------------------------

Saint John of Capistrano, Priest 

(Liturgical Colour: White. Year: B(II))

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Wednesday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First Reading 2 Corinthians 5:14-20 We do not judge anyone by the standards of the flesh.

The love of Christ overwhelms us when we reflect that if one man has died for all, then all men should be dead; and the reason he died for all was so that living men should live no longer for themselves, but for him who died and was raised to life for them. From now onwards, therefore, we do not judge anyone by the standards of the flesh. Even if we did once know Christ in the flesh, that is not how we know him now. And for anyone who is in Christ, there is a new creation; the old creation has gone, and now the new one is here. It is all God’s work. It was God who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the work of handing on this reconciliation. In other words, God in Christ was reconciling the world to himself, not holding men’s faults against them, and he has entrusted to us the news that they are reconciled. So we are ambassadors for Christ; it is as though God were appealing through us, and the appeal that we make in Christ’s name is: be reconciled to God.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 15(16):1-2,5,7-8,11

R/ You are my inheritance, O Lord.

Preserve me, God, I take refuge in you. I say to the Lord: ‘You are my God.’ O Lord, it is you who are my portion and cup; it is you yourself who are my prize.

R/ You are my inheritance, O Lord.

I will bless the Lord who gives me counsel, who even at night directs my heart. I keep the Lord ever in my sight: since he is at my right hand, I shall stand firm.

R/ You are my inheritance, O Lord.

You will show me the path of life, the fullness of joy in your presence, at your right hand happiness for ever.

R/ You are my inheritance, O Lord.

Gospel Acclamation John 8:12

Alleluia, alleluia! I am the light of the world, says the Lord; anyone who follows me will have the light of life. Alleluia!

Gospel Luke 9:57-62 'I will follow you wherever you go'.

As Jesus and his disciples travelled along they met a man on the road who said to him, ‘I will follow you wherever you go.’ Jesus answered, ‘Foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’ Another to whom he said, ‘Follow me’, replied, ‘Let me go and bury my father first.’ But he answered, ‘Leave the dead to bury their dead; your duty is to go and spread the news of the kingdom of God.’ Another said, ‘I will follow you, sir, but first let me go and say goodbye to my people at home.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Once the hand is laid on the plough, no one who looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[leofrith]

[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]

Tagged by @aeide and @ainulindaelynn 💖 I did this one a few months ago but a few answers have changed since then so I'll update those. 😊

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Six now! Four one-shots, a short-ish multi-chapter which was supposed to be a one-shot that got away from me, and my longfic which at this point I should have just waited to post but am definitely still chipping away at.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

33,030 which is almost double my count from a few months ago. Woaaaaaaaaahhhh

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Still Assassin's Creed, now dipping into Baldur's Gate 3 as well.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Still the same five fics in the same order but with slightly different numbers:

Hideaway - 149

Bright Skies - 139

Press On, Move Along - 94

Out of the Cold - 43

Honor Bound - 29

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Always.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Still Press On, Move Along.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Still Hideaway.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Still hate-free, for now.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sure do 💀 and I've posted some of it since the last time I did this. I think the only way I can really describe it is emotionally-charged, because if I'm going to horny jail it will at the very least be in service of some kind of character development. 😭

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Still occasionally poke away at the AC x Star Wars AU, but I'm not super invested in it right now. But I'm sure that will change as soon as a new Star Wars thing comes out. Since I last did this I also went digging through the depths of my writing folder and found a Walking Dead x MCU crossover that I must have started when I was like 14 years old. Absolute fucking horror show that I am so very thankful I never wrote enough to post. 🤡

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Still no, as far as I'm aware.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, except for yelling back and forth about ideas with friends. I would probably be open to it but also maybe not because I know I am extremely unreliable.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Saying "all-time" favourite feels a bit much, but as far as mental real estate and also just sheer number of words written, Leovor far surpasses any other ship I've been into. 🧍🏻‍♀️

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Since I did that ask game a few weeks ago, the Inquisitor Ahsoka/Rex starting a clone rebellion/post TCW AU has been on my mind. But I know that, realistically speaking, I'm unlikely to ever be invested enough to actually sit down and write it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm trying to make a point to read more fiction and while it's possible that the few books I've read thus far lately just haven't been particularly good, it's certainly made me way more confident in my ability to write dialogue that feels like it would be spoken by real live humans and not aliens pretending to be humans. Similar deal with internal monologues. I'm convinced that none of these authors read their work aloud.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Still generally the same—overthinking comma usage, editing while I write and therefore being very slow, going back and forth between being stuck because I didn't plan enough and feeling stifled because I planned too much. Etc etc.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I try to avoid it as much as possible, with the exception being words or phrases that are used a lot in canon.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Still Marvel :(

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Honor Bound is still my baby, but I didn't expect to actually like A Different Kind of Solace as much as I do, mostly because I didn't really go into writing it expecting to hit the emotional notes that it does. Also still Out of the Cold. There are some banger lines there.

Not tagging anyone because this one has gone around a few times recently but if you want to do it, you're welcome to pretend I tagged you. 😌

[ilargizuri]

Daenerys's Conquest in the Books.

First of all, who will be her three Dragon riders? Well possibly Tyrion, he has the Napoleon Complex to actually try the same thing as Quentyn; but the still enough Brain left to wait for their Mother to return so that he won't be their Snack for breakfast/Lunch/Dinner.

And there are possibilities for Victarion and either Jorah or Daario. I say that mostly because I think Daenerys won't go to Westeros without 2 more Riders.

And what will happen with these Riders? Well, I realized something during my Reread of Daenerys's Chapters we actually never saw Dragon riding during Winter. Not in the Canon Material at least and not in the additional Material. Except for a Northern Fairy Tale about the birth of a Star Constellation, which I doubt happened in the way it is described.

In the additional Material like Fire and Blood or The World of Westeros (which I only read once so correct me if I am wrong) the Season is left out. Yes, we see People flying Dragons to the North and in the North, but as far as I remember, not in Winter or it is not mentioned.

Additionally, the Place where Dragons come from was called "The Land of Always Summer"

So what could that mean?

I think it means a Dangerous environment for flying Dragons, I mean look at the actual attire every Biker should wear for Protection even during Summer, that stuff is warm, like really warm. Because Bikers are exposed to the Air during their drive and that Air is cold and you lose warmth to the Air, I think that Effect is called Hypothermia or Windchill.

So what I think will happen to the Dragon Riders is: They probably will die in the Air, because they get Hypothermia. I think either Daenerys or Tyrion will die first. Daenerys because it is a Fact that People who grew up in Colder Climates are used to it and have a higher resistance to that stuff and vice versa People who grew up in warmer Climates are used to Heat, which means People have trouble with the opposite of their accustomed Climate. Tyrion because he is a Drunk and Alcohol can speed up the Effects of Hypothermia.

So Victarion or Jorah are actually the most likely to survive that adventure because both grew up in colder climates and don't consume Alcohol like Tyrion does.

So let's say Daenerys comes to Westeros and starts a second Dance of the Dragons with Aegon VI. For that to happen it doesn't matter if he is a real Targaryen or not, all that matters is: Daenerys will believe he is. As we saw in the Past the Banners will be called, which Aegon actually has the Better Cards, Daenerys can only call for the Riverlands, which a nearly without any Men who could be called to the Weapons, the Westerlands, which could come to Daenerys Aid if Jaime is missing and Cersei is dead, which leaves Tyrion or one of his Relatives to rule the Westerlands. The Vale and the North, and here is the twist, Winter is already in full action in these Places, Sansa has fully snowed in Castles and Pathways during her Travel during the Books and her stay at the Eyrie. We know that Winter is a big player in Stannis's Campaign in the North and in Jon's Mind at the Wall. So there is no way they can come to Daenerys's Aid mostly because of the Weather.

But that doesn't mean Daenerys knows that. We are talking about a Child that grew up on the Streets of Essos and who grew up only in Summer, it is said with her Birth the longest Summer had begun. So Daenerys has NO IDEA what Cold and Winter mean. Which could most likely mean that she underestimates the danger of that Weather Condition. This can lead to her wanting to conquer these Kingdoms who refused to come to her Aid, not because they are at fault here, but because Daenerys doesn't know that! Which will be a mistake with deadly results.

Yes in Kings Landing is Snow, but that means we could only have Temperatures between +5° C and -12° C in both cases Snowflakes can develop under the right circumstances, which doesn't mean they will create Snowbanks like in the North and the Vale, just means it is cold and Snow can fall.

The North and the Vale are more likely like Siberia and the Scandinavian Peninsula in terms of Weather and Coldness. So not a Weather in which I want to sit high in the Air without any kind of Box around me. Not to mention that Daenerys's Armies are not Westerosi Soldiers or even Farmers, they are Essosi Slave Soldiers and Sellswords. This means this Conquest will most likely end like Napoleon's attempt to invade Russia during Winter a.k.a. a deadly disaster for the Conqueror and his Army. And all the Knights of the Vale and the Northmen have to do is hide under the Snow until the Army has to retreat to the South.

The Dragons won't be that helpful in this Weather, even if their Body creates enough Heat to keep their Riders partially warm, they will still lose Warmth to the Air and at some point that would lead to moderate or severe Hypothermia which can lead to an interesting Symptome which is called paradoxical undressing. It occurs very often in Urban Environments with homeless People during Winter so the possibility that GRRM knows about that Symptom is actually not that unlikely.

So my Prediction for the Second Dance of the Dragons is Aegon loses, because of Daenerys's Dragons and the Fact that Jon Connigton starts a Domino-Effect with the Wildfire under Kings Landing. After that Daenerys wants to punish those who didn't come to her aid or supported Aegon. The People who supported Aegon will be dealt with relatively easily, first because of the Dragons and second because they actually live in the South. The Downfall comes when Daenerys will go North. She and her Dragon Riders will be exposed to very cold Air and her Armies to a lot of Snow. My Prediction is that when Daenerys starts to become confused because of Hypothermia she will become Combative and start to push to go further. Which will lead to her Death on Dragonback.

Tyrion will most likely lose some limbs and maybe his Tongue because of it, I can imagine that IF he starts to suffer from Hypothermia stop using protection for his Mouth and if he starts breathing through his Mouth because he will think he overheats (which is the Cause for paradoxical undressing), that will lead to Frostbite on his Tongue.

And the third one? Well, that person will get Frostbite most likely, but at some point, the Armies will retreat, most likely after Daenerys's death. And the Dragons? Well, they have to Eat and there are a lot of humans, at some point, they probably start eating Humans, because there is nothing else. And furthermore, the People of Westeros will flee from Daenerys's Army most likely with the Stock of Animals which they have left, which means the only safe Food-Source is Daenerys's Army. So in short it is a Recipe for Desaster and the Army will either leave Daenerys because they don't want to be eaten or try to kill the Dragons, especially after Daenerys's death.

And whoever thinks that GRRM would never think about that, we are talking about an Author who takes into consideration the Food shortage in Kings Landing which than leads to Food Riots in the streets. He will take the Weather into Consideration, especially after he did that already in ADWD.

[fitzrove]

11. Are there any tropes that you particularly enjoy writing?

12. Are there any clichés or tropes that you actively avoid in your fics?

19. What's the most unusual or unique setting you've used?

34. Are there any fic writing tips or tricks you've learned along the way that you'd like to share?

(All for the fanfic writer ask :D)

(Sorry for taking so long to get to these - thank you so much for asking :D)

11. Are there any tropes that you particularly enjoy writing?

Hmmmmmm does bdsm count hmmm... In terms of language it's probably extended metaphors (like animal motifs and stuff, but ones that go overboard and subvert stuff, ie. it's not enough for someone to be dove-like, I'll describe a character as dove-like and then go into detail about how they would, given the opportunity, nonchalantly and seemingly aimlessly circle a piece of bread before quickly grabbing it and running for the hills). I tend to like things being/becoming just slightly off-kilter or messed up in some way (but not markedly!) and having that drive the narrative. All of my pov characters tend to be very clever and aware of it in a cocky yet sometimes self-deprecating way and idk how to stop writing that kind of narrator (it's a good vehicle for humor and levity, which I often feel like needs to be included to balance things out so it's not all darkness and despair lol).

12. Are there any clichés or tropes that you actively avoid in your fics?

Yes, many :D I dislike a lot of fanfiction cliches (in terms of repetitive phrases/descriptors), like orbs and toeing off shoes - and, admittedly, tongues battling for dominance. I also try not to write 'banter' in a cliched or annoying way, because that's not how people talk in real life - I try to make it seem natural.

As for larger tropes: this deals with Elisabeth fic and is potentially controversial because religion lmao, but I'm not a fan of a moralistic afterlife canonically existing in the universe of a fic. In one fic I read Rudolf went to hell (ish) and I just don't have time to unpack all that XD

In general I don't like, I guess, "protagonist-centered morality", like when characters are catty about other characters and the narrative seems to agree with them and karmically punish people that the protagonist/s find/s annoying? So in writing non-POV characters, I try to really consider their perspective and remember that they are also entire people with rich inner lives, fears, goals and ambitions. It's kinda hard sometimes but I think it makes for better fic (and yes I am taking my fic very seriously lol)

19. What's the most unusual or unique setting you've used?

The Cat Returns AU. Where there's a Cat Kingdom that just canonically exists parallel to Habsburg Empire times lmao

34. Are there any fic writing tips or tricks you've learned along the way that you'd like to share?

Hmm... I think that non-POV characters tip I mentioned is really good. Conversely, I'm the worst person to ask for productivity tips, because my entire life I've done a lot of stuff at the last possible minute and gotten away with it shdfghfhhg, which doesn't always spell that well for fic writing when it's a voluntary hobby.

[inquisitor-apologist]

Star wars: 3, 5, 7, 10, 12 ♥️

3. which character are you actually most like?

Probably Sabine Wren—I’m a punk teenager who loves to die my hair, and I have a lot of combat experience. (7 years of karate) I love painting, and I’m trying to be more active in fighting against the empire I live in (usa). Perhaps one day I will be able to blow up fascists with homemade bombs…

5. what planet would you most like to visit? 

Considering I literally named myself after it, I kind of have to go with Korriban, don’t I? Cool, ancient planet full of giant statues, evil holocrons, and malevolent ghosts, what’s not to love? Honestly tlt it’d be worth it just to see the giant statues.

7. who do you hope you never meet?

Grogu. Little dude is exactly football-sized and I don’t think I could resist the urge to drop-kick him. I would feel terrible about it afterwards, but I don’t think I would be strong enough to stop myself.

10. do you think the jedi were right or wrong?

This one’s pretty obvious if you look at my blog, and, well, imo, if you look at the movies. The Jedi are, as presented by Lucas, unequivocally the good guys. The core dichotomy of Star Wars is the Dark side and the Light, (or, in the OT, the Dark side and the Force) compassion versus selfishness, and the Jedi were the compassionate guys, the ones who used the force to better themselves and help others. Their philosophy on non attachment is heavily based on Buddhism—George Lucas actually converted to Buddhism and described himself as a Methodist-Buddhist—so I think it’s fair to say that it was intended to be a positive, healthy way to live. (Please, Star Wars fandom, I am begging you to look up what attachment means in Star Wars, it’s different than what attachment means to USAmericans) Also, the ‘no romantic relationships’ thing makes a lot of sense when you realize the Jedi are monks first and foremost, and monks that have super dangerous government jobs. I know it’s annoying for shipping, but it does make sense with the worldbuilding.

The tragedy of the prequels was that Anakin, in his selfishness and greed, betrayed the Jedi and allowed the rise of the Empire. That doesn’t work if the Jedi are the bad guys, then it’s a completely different story. So, yeah, the Jedi were absolutely right.

12. do you care who rey’s parents are?

Ok, so since this ask game was posted when the sequels were still coming out and my opinion has changed a lot since 2019, I’ll answer this two different ways: how I felt then, and how I feel now.

When the sequels were coming out: No. I was pretty young back then, and not fully into Star Wars yet, and I basically took what the movies said at face value. Oh, they abandoned her? That’s sad, guess we won’t see them. Oh, they were junk traders that sold her? That sucks, I bet Rey feels really bad about that. Oh, she’s a Palpatine? That’s cool, I wasn’t expecting that. I watched a lot of those theory videos talking about how she could totally be a Skywalker or a Kenobi or a Solo, but I never really had a strong opinion on it. My reaction to her being Palpatine’s granddaughter was mostly ‘huh, how would that work? I don’t think he had a wife?’ I get now that it was a big question that everyone wanted the answer to, but I was too young to care.

Now: Yeah, actually, and I really like the idea of her being a Palpatine. I think it was a really good idea, and had they actually planned the story around it, it would’ve worked really well. Like, if she was established as a Palpatine in tfa, it would’ve added a lot to her character. Why is she so desperate to stay on Jakku? Because she’s hiding from the First Order. It would have also explained Snoke and Kylo Ren’s interest in her—as Palpatine’s heir, they would’ve really wanted to get her on their side. I really like the idea of her being a Palpatine, but the execution was so awful, just like most of the sequels.

Thanks for the ask! These were really fun to do

[thebearthatreads]

15 Questions Tag

Thank you to @keysandopenmind for the tag!

So for this one you can apparently answer the 15 questions either as yourself or as one of your OCs. I've decided to respond as myself as I'm in the midst on NaNoWriMo and still getting to know my new OCs.

Let's do some no pressure tagging before we hop in: @fleurtygurl, @cottonberryfinn, @thepitflower, @chauceryfairytales and @maskedemerald (as well as anyone else who might want to do it)!

15 Questions:

Are you named after anyone?

Yes! I'm named after a character in a book (don't ask me which book my parents don't remember).

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday. I cry pretty frequently, tears just come very quickly for me and I feel emotions quite intensely. The reason for my crying was because I was emotionally moved whilst watching the latest One Piece episode.

3. Do you have kids?

I have a fur-child, does that count? Her name is Miley and she's an Alaskan Malamute cross who I rescued as a puppy. My partner and I are planning on having human children in the future but currently we don't.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes, sometimes.

5. What is the first thing you notice about others?

Oh that's tough, generally it changes from person to person. Usually it's facially orientated but it can be other aspects. If someone has fun earrings I'll notice those first, if they have tattoos, piercings, cool clothing. Little signifiers of personality, that's what I notice first.

6. What's your eye colour?

I used to describe my eyes as kind of mud brown but they're actually quite pretty the closer you get. From a distance a dark walnut brown, up close more of a sepia or russet brown. Looking them closely in my hand mirror they kind of make me think of the crystal Tiger's eye.

7. Scary stories or happy endings?

A bit of both, I like scary stories with happy endings. But if I have to choose I'll probably lean more towards happy endings.

8. Any special talents?

No, I am decidedly very untalented... Although I can read tarot cards, I don't read them very often (I don't self-read) but the times that I have my friends have said my predictions were fairly accurate. I'd love to believe that means I'm a little psychic but it's probably just luck and guiding intuition from how well I know the people I was reading for.

9. Where were you born?

It's no secret I was born in Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia.

10. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, playing video games. I also enjoy walking with my dog, volunteering, researching different mythologies and history. I've dabbled with knitting, though it's taking me a long time to finish a single project because I keep forgetting about it.

11. Do you have any pets?

As mentioned before I have an Alaskan Malamute cross called Miley. My brother also has a dog, she's an Akita Inu cross German Shepherd called Akela.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I am not a sporty person. I've done sports carnivals, taken martial arts classes, and I participated in weekly sporting events at University as part of our Res Wars (friendly competition between the different residential buildings). But I've never really played any particular sport.

13. How tall are you?

Uhh, I always forget my height. I'm about 5'2, so somewhere around the 157-160cm range I believe. Just tall enough to reach the top of my bookshelf, not tall enough to reach the back of the top cupboards in the kitchen.

14. Favourite subject in school?

English or history in high school. Criminal Profiling at University (it was a super fun and informative, I took it as an elective).

15. Dream Job?

Being a full-time author but that requires a lot of luck along with a lot of work. For now I'm pretty happy with the job I recently started working sales in a jewellery store, I'm learning a lot of fascinating things and have super nice coworkers. Still one day it'd be nice if my books provided me a stable income.

[uniformbravo]

it's nanowrimo & i havent touched my wip since last year so im gonna reread it all rn to jog my memory lets goooo

-

"And so, class, as you can see, blah blah blah…"

Silan wasn't listening, so neither should you have to.

i didn't know how to start it skjfdkngkf

-

goes on for several paragraphs about why he wasnt paying attention, making up a bunch of bullshit about him being sooooo sleeby bc he watched a horror movie last night & then couldn't sleep, fascinating stuff

-

So no, he wasn't listening to the lesson going on at the front of the room, nor was he prepared in the very least to be called on suddenly.

"Silan, what's your answer to number fifteen?"

Like a bucket of ice water was sitting upright on the ground beside him instead of upturned over his head, Silan's brain fog persisted as he struggled to catch up with the moment.

ok fine the ice bucket line is kinda funny im here to subvert ur expectations not unlike a mime thats allowed to say fuck

-

"Y equals seven…?" he guessed, understanding completely as he said it that it definitely would have been better to just say "I don't know," or "Could you repeat that?" or even "Sorry, I didn't sleep well because I watched a horror movie before bed and was too scared to fall asleep for hours and now I can't focus because I'm so tired, so I honestly have no idea what's going on right now."

As it was, his actual answer garnered a few laughs scattered around the room, from people who'd given Silan way too much credit and assumed it was a very intentional joke. He couldn't look his teacher in the eye, that knowing gaze piercing right through him as if to say, "You may have fooled them, but not me. I know that was a real attempt at an answer, and I am disappointed in you on multiple levels. I'll see you in my office and also you have detention forever."

What he actually said was, "Mr. Scott, this is a Biology class."

CHRIST i take it back im a comedic genius

-

Chris is A Dude in Silan's class, but he's so much more than that; sports ball player man, wearer of varsity jackets and knee-length shorts of all varieties, copier of his friends' homework whenever one of them has actually done it on time… He truly is just Some Guy, but to Silan? He is The Guy.

WHAT are u fuckin TALKING ABOUT HELLO

-

If Silan himself were to be the one to describe Chris, that paragraph would have probably gone a lot more like: Chris is on the baseball team, so he's fairly muscular; he has a sharp, square jaw and dark brown hair that's not quite long enough to submit to gravity just yet, so it sticks up and looks just sooo fluffy and soft (do you think he lets anyone touch it?). He's never actually grown a beard but he does have stubble across his chin and jaw that suits him extremely well. His eyes are brown and his skin is a natural tan and it all suits him perfectly and he's hot okay. He's hot.

Silan is gay.

and he is being sooo normal about chris

-

They'd only ever spoken a total of two times; once when Chris had gotten the rows confused on a day he'd seemed particularly groggy (this class ran from 10:45 to 12:15 and was the one right before lunch, though, so it was beyond Silan what exactly had put him in such a state) ((I'm the author though, so I know exactly what it was, and it's that he'd been out nearly all night with his friends to the subsequent dismay and rage of his parents, and his request to stay home from school the next day was vehemently denied)),

this is fucking unhinged. publish me right now

-

That had been just a few weeks ago; the other time was last year (junior year, or 11th grade, or year 3 out of 4 of high school, whatever makes the most sense to those unacquainted with the American school system) in April and I will tell you more about it later.

FUCKING HELLO

-

It was the urge to doodle their initials in a heart together in the margins of his notebook like… like some kind of lovesick middle schooler (not that. He'd ever done that. In middle school,).

silan would never

-

The combination made him want to launch himself directly out the window, had one existed (the only windows were over by the door, which Silan sat pretty much across the room from).

He was kinda fucked.

tfw u cant throw urself out the window bc of ur school's evil fucked up floor plan

-

Rhoden, while still fairly small for his age, definitely isn't the same kid Silan met back then. There's a maturity to his jaw, his brow, that he's really come into since, and his voice has deepened considerably; anyone who might still initially mistake him for a much younger boy would be instantly enlightened the second he opened his mouth. And then they'd have to figure out how to politely decline a spontaneous interview proposal from a guy they'd thought was twelve two seconds ago.

when u get within a certain radius of him a giant health bar appears at the top of the screen & boss music starts playing

-

Today, though, was a photography day.

They were always Silan's favorites. He did enjoy his other tasks, in general, but none of them were as fun or freeing as photography.

It made him look at the world around him differently. Taking such a wide expanse of possibility and narrowing it down to that one perfect shot; knowing where to look and how to find potential. It was capturing a moment, but not just that; it was turning a moment, even the smallest, mundanest occurrence, into something timeless- into something special.

(And, of course, there were other perks to the job, but we'll get to those later.)

i am 100% certain said "perks" are getting to Observe chris at baseball practice which is a very funny juxtaposition to the previous paragraph

"photography is a timeless art form, truly nothing as magical or poignant could ever exist.... also i get to look at hot boys cha-CHING"

-

"Silan," she called out now in lieu of a team name, since the work of a photographer was mostly individual.

"I'm, uh, shooting baseball practice today."

😏

-

A few short minutes later, Silan was signing off for the club's camera, which he needed permission for every time. This was one of Mrs. Springet's few roles as an advisor, to make sure the camera wasn't being stolen. It was a nice camera, to be fair.

Oh To Steal The Journalism Club's Nice Camera

-

While Chaulden High did have a football team, the undisputed star of the show was the baseball team; with a coach that led them to victory time and time again, it wasn't hard to see why.

As such, the New Moon always made sure to leave room for a section on the team, even going as far as establishing a series they ran every year called "Dug-Ins & Outs," in which various members of the team were interviewed.

ok still proud of that title TBH

-

Which meant Silan was often sent to obtain shots of the team, which was no problem. Less than no problem. He was pretty fine with it, actually. Perhaps even looked forward to it, some might say.

Because Silan was definitely interested in the team, as a whole, all twenty-six members. All of them, and not a single one more than the rest. He would never single a specific member out to accidentally focus 90% of his attention on. That would be ridiculous, and highly unprofessional of him. Perish the thought.

…

So uh. Chris is on the baseball team,

cups hands around mouth fucken NERD

-

The coach, Mr. Wendell, stood with a clipboard tucked under his arm by the dugout, clapping and calling out to members who were lagging behind in the group of joggers. He always made Silan nervous, if he were honest. He was something of a hardass, with high expectations for his team and a grueling training regimen he held them all to. He had a loud voice and a firm handshake, was broad shouldered and tall, and if Silan weren't so intimidated by him he might even find him [REDACTED].

OK ALRIGHT CALM DOWN THERE BUDDY

-

CRASH!

Just as he clicked the shutter the chain-link fence behind him exploded into sound and he jumped violently, sending all of the birds flying. Heart pounding, he sat up and turned around to figure out what the hell that was.

On the other side of the fence was one of the team members leaning down to scoop up the offending ball as the coach's voice echoed across the field, "Stop fucking around, Neely!"

fucking Neely

-

It took him a good five or six more minutes to calm down, sitting there in the grass and pretending to flip through photos on his camera. This time he made sure to face the fence to avoid a repeat scenario- because of course, Silan was known to have the reflexes of a tiger and wouldn't even flinch were another ball to come hurling at the fence.

jotting this down in my Extremely True Silan Facts notebook

-

He sat on the very top row and zoomed in on the players, scattered across the field. The fence still sat between him and the rest of them, reaching high for maximum audience-shielding ability, so he decided to see how many of the players' heads he could frame perfectly within the open links in a single shot.

His average came out to about four, mostly because it was basically impossible to keep track of any more than that at once, but he did manage to get one with six on accident, so that was pretty neat. It didn't help that they were all constantly moving around- Silan probably would have had more luck trying this with the birds.

He spent about another twenty minutes doing this, occasionally moving to other parts of the bleachers for different angles to see if they made any difference (they didn't; the lower he went the wider the holes got but also the closer together the player's heads became, so it balanced out), before the main event, as far as he was concerned, finally began: batting.

silan: boy oh boy i can't wait to take pictures of the baseball team!!!

also silan: does this bullshit

-

Everyone knew baseball players looked coolest and most iconic when at bat, and anyone who disagreed was simply wrong (second best was pitching, third was sliding). Silan's opinion on this was in no way swayed by visuals of Chris that may or may not have been burned into his memory.

Evidence:

[three pictures of a batter, a pitcher, and a sliding athlete respectively side-by-side, the batter obviously being the coolest most hyped up one with dynamic lighting and stuff, whereas the pitcher and the slider are intentionally lame, like cheap-looking clip art or pictures where they're making really ugly faces]

im gonna lose my fuckin shit (no theres no actual pictures this was just a place holder for when i eventually found & inserted them which i was absolutely planning on doing)

-

He stayed on the other side of the fence, lest a stray ball hit him (or worse, the camera)

TRU

-

He was tall (he had several inches on Silan and a good few on Chris), and he was slender and lean and really quite handsome in general. His thick, curly black hair was neatly shaved close to his head and the corners of his jaw were pleasantly pronounced.

Not that Silan could see any of that from this distance, especially with the helmet obscuring most of it. But as a member of the newspaper club these were things he had to know. For professional reasons.

i believe him

-

He should have been adjusting his position to line up the perfect shot, but it was hard not to watch as Chris rose up on one foot, twisting his torso with his arms raised and clutching the ball- then sprung into action by slamming his foot back down into the dirt and following the momentum with his upper body, arm arcing into a powerful throw. A split second after Silan saw the ball hit the backboard he heard the noise, a loud, solid smack!

God. God.

SCREAMS ALRIGHT SILAN CALM DOWN FKFSKGNKSDJFKD

-

"Make sure you're getting my good side, yeah?" He joked, grinning and striking a stupid pose.

silan watching chris: beautiful. flawless. show stopping. groundbreaking. so so hot and sexy hehehauhaoehemeheuenana

silan watching lucas: clown ass motherfucker striking his goofy ass POSE what an idiot 000/10

-

"Yo," Devon greeted as he pulled himself to his feet, flashing his hand in a pseudo wave.

"H-hi," Silan answered haltingly, heart beating a little fast from the maneuver he'd just had to pull. Devon offered what Silan could only describe as a dashing grin before turning his attention back towards home.

hee hee hee hiiiiiii devonnnn *twirls hair* (silan impression)

-

They rarely talked but Devon had always come off as a nice guy with a friendly vibe. He'd certainly never referred to the newspaper club as Mooners- not that Silan had heard, anyway. Though it wouldn't be such a big deal if he did, since the nickname was pretty widespread at this point. But it was nice that he didn't.

Also, he really was quite handsome.

this would have been a very different story had silan gone for devon instead of chris, devon would NEVER pull the shit chris is about to pull in this story fksndkjfdkjg he doesn't even call them mooners 😭

(school newspaper is called the new moon so people call the club members new mooners, an extremely clever & funny joke that i came up with myself)

-

(ok context, silan was gonna take a pic of chris sliding (the team's doing this whole exercise where they alternate from pitching to hitting to sliding) but bc he was so focused on getting the shot he didn't realize the ball was headed right for him so chris collided w him trying to intercept it)

Silan turned around, seeing the coach standing with his arms crossed as Chris examined his elbow. He looked up when Silan moved.

"Thank Christ. That was stupid as hell, you both could've gotten way more hurt." He hadn't even checked if Silan had been injured. "Jumping over another guy like that. We're not a goddamn gymnastics routine."

"But I caught the ball," Chris grinned, holding it up and waggling it around. Silan immediately had to stop himself from asking if he could have it.

LMAO SILAN???????????? DOWN SO FUCKING BAD

-

As he walked off herding the team away, Chris stepped closer to Silan, instantly setting his heartbeat into overdrive, more than it already was.

"Your shoulder okay?" he asked with a gesture towards the shoulder in question, and Silan just about passed away on the spot.

when he checks if ur ok after he ran u the fuck over 😍😍😍

-

Then he looked to the left, in the direction Chris had tossed the ball just a minute ago, at the spot in the grass it had rolled to a stop.

The backboard of the catcher's box announced another missed swing, and Silan picked up the ball, examining it.

The object that had ruined his perfect shot. That had come careening directly towards Silan's head (or worse, the camera). That had resulted in the disastrous collision and subsequent injuries of Chris and Silan. That had wasted precious minutes of Coach Wendell's perfectly scheduled practice regimen.

He tucked it neatly away into his hoodie's front pocket and took a seat on the grass right where it had been.

STOLE THE FUCKING BASEBALL this is unhinged behavior and also exactly the kinda shit i would've pulled in high school 10/10

---

uhhhhhh that was chapter 1 and i feel i should perhaps stop here for now since this is getting like way longer than i thought it would lfksndlfmdkgj the whole thing is like. 30k ish words? i feel like i wrote about 3 or 4 chapters

i like. shoulda done this shit a few days ago so i could start writing again today (the 1st) but i was too busy drawing heehee uhhh whoopsieee >w<

its ok its fine this year i will make it to 50k easy peasy dont even worry abt it ;3 i will definitely not go back to drawing today that would be sooooooo silly and goofy of me hahaha :)

[probablygayattorneys]

Blog update

For the past year or so, this blog has posted twice a day. Once at a random time between 6:30-7:30 AM MST and once at a random time between 11:30 AM-12:30 PM MST.

Starting tomorrow, this blog will post once a day at noon MST exactly.

I am going to explain why below but before I do, I'm going to TW for really, really serious mental health issues so... just stop reading if you're not up for that.

I am not well.

It is probably obvious from how absolutely off the wall some of my posts have been that my brain doesn't work like most people but I don't think anyone understands the full extent of just how broken my brain is.

Even my doctors don't agree. Give me a mental disorder, I've probably been diagnosed with it at least once. Autism. Depression. Bipolar. ADHD. BPD. CRSD. GAD. I've got the whole fucking can of alphabet soup in my bowl, but nobody really knows.

What we do know is that during June, at the same time my dad got diagnosed with cancer (don't worry, I didn't even know stage 0 cancer was a thing but apparently they caught it so early they just did a tiny little surgery and now they think he's completely cancer free) my depression hit hard. Legitimately, so bad that I was officially declared disabled by it to keep me on my parents' insurance since I turned 26 in August.

The only song that I can even think of that comes close to trying to describe how I feel is the song Autoclave, by The Mountain Goats. Embedded below if you'd like to listen.

We've done everything. I have a therapist I see weekly. I did a sleep study. I have a psychopharmacologist who has prescribed me enough medications that I could probably not just tranquilize an elephant but also cure the tiger's depression, stabilize the lion's mood, and hook up the ringmaster with some real good shit. We spent 5000 dollars to try an experimental ketamine treatment that insurance didn't cover at all. I've done ECT. I got desperate enough that I tried to turn to religion, I went to a Catholic church just because it was the only denomination open at 3 PM on a Tuesday and I sat in that pew and I prayed for an hour that God would send me someone, just that someone would sit down and say "you seem troubled, child" and nobody fucking came. Then one night I prayed so hard I literally cried, begging God to send me something, some kind of sign, literally anything, to keep going, and the next day my cat knocked over one of my decks of tarot cards and every single card fell face down except the death one. So. There's that. That's only one thing left that I haven't tried, and that's where they're going to take my blood and then sequence my DNA and try and figure out what medication my body would react best to, and I hope that it works because I've been struggling with suicidal ideation since I was 6 and... even if I am a phoenix, I'm getting real fucking tired of rising from the ashes. Everything we've tried is just a fucking cul-de-sac of misery. I have fallen into this rut and I can't get unstuck and this is the worst I've ever felt in my entire life, I'm upset and angry at everything from my grandpa, for dying before I was before so I never got any memories of him, to my cat for not letting me eat in peace, but none moreso than at myself for feeling this way when it is absolutely no one's fault that any of this is happening. The only peace I know is when I'm in a heavily medicated sleep and I can dream all night of freedom but then I wake up but I never wake up free. If you cannot relate to this, then I sure hope you pick a deity and thank them for your luck.

So, what does any of that have to do with the format of this blog changing?

Well, it's simple. I'm not funny anymore. There were times I had 200+ posts in my queue. Right now I have less than 80.

Sometimes, I still have some spark of inspiration (though most of the time it's really more my brother just made another stupid video edit) but the fact of the matter is that I'm just... I'm not producing anything worth a damn thing at the rate things have been posting. This is the only thing I can try to do to make it last a little bit longer while I hope for a miracle because every second of every day I am in pain, it hurts just being awake, like, I am in an agony that most of you probably can't even fathom.

And, well, if it gets to eighty days from now, and there's no more posts, and no more updates... Well, you'll know what happened. I hope you also know that I'm sorry that I couldn't step out of the shadow of my great catastrophe, but I also hope you know that I really, really did try my goddamn hardest.

[paramoursoul]

A faint clap of Thunder

HELLLLLLOOOOO TUMBLR ARE YOU READY TO ROCCK!??

hm? owo?

Oh right I have no tags for this.. and I don't need them! To whom ever finds my story by the tumblr algorithm god- Let it dazzle you with my current love complex, or rather MY PARAMOUR!!!

[Isn't that crazy? I just found out the meaning of the word and it describe my journey exactly!!!]

What does my life mean?

My name is Cecilia! An young adult that beat up my trauma, befriended it, and now I'm preparing to move out to become the person I've always wanted to be...A FUCKING MAGICAL GIRL!

So~ How the hell am I gonna do that? Move out of course. I'm about to be 24 in May and That's my year: The Year of the Dragon. You know how you have a core memory that probably shaped you as a person today? Well for me I turned that into a core form, like, when I was 12 that was a really big year for because I know that's when I started to be me so what's gonna happen when I turn 24? I'm already 23 and the best progress I've done was make people smile. That's not enough for me.. My goal in life is to live but how can I eat crab with root beer when the people who's working are unhappy which obviously leads them to destroying the planet. Cigarettes and littering you know? I can't let that happen. I LOVE EATING CRAB!! THE WORLD HAS TO FUNCTION IN ORDER TO KEEP LIVING. i may not be Martin Luther King Jr. and that's good because I actually like me! and it's good to be me because really good people die and I don't wanna die QwQ If the person I smile at today can feel my pure intentions then maybe that energy will make them pass it along! Then everyone will be happy and take life seriously! Yes.. Take life seriously....

In this life though.. Money is very important. I'm not strong enough to leave all that I've known behind. Who doesn't want a cottage lifestyle? I want- even the bad things that comes with it because that's how humans were supposed to be.. But I'm not. I'm on my computer. And that's okay. If I try to fight my demons alone/traditionally I'll go mad [again]

I don't need that. I need Love and Family. That's what I need.. and if that means having a job then SO BE IT and you know what? I think.. I think that's where I'm finding love.

R+18 Warning! if you can handle reddit don't read this.

How can you have Romance without the Rumbles of logic.

Classicism and Romanticism. It's the prefect yin and yang.

How can I advice a Family if I can find love, hollywood is giving real love a bad rep!

Hollywood is a cult for keen dolts who's favorite interests are drugs, carnage, pedophilia, and time. How can they get access to this stuff? Us. Regular people. By showing us the "stars" they influence the commoners heavily and their main tactics are action and romance! We all want action but how can the world grow without romance. Yes it's very true that kissing, cuddling, and beauty is wonderful but how can you feel that when your given a obvious scamy brochure. What's the point of kissing if you don't know there health is like? Why cuddle if they're not comfortable? and why focus on the beauty of others!? don't you know anything about fashion!?!?!?!

You see, I dream that true love is exactly what hollywood depicts but of course they leave out the traditional and PERSONAL part of it out.

I can feel him near. My soul sparks when his presence is close. whether or not the universe tells me go for it my heart will always be decide. She's been through the most, my heart, she's the one that pumps my blood so of course she'll know how's the one. Does he smell nice? [thump] Can my eyes lock on to him? [crack] Does he accepts..me? [BOOOOOOOOM]

THAT'S THE ONE!

But what happens when you're scared? It feels just like your staring at ghost. It's not the dark you're afraid of...it's what's hiding in it. Do you dare? Intrusive thoughts.. jump, Jump, JUMP!

I can't remember when it happened. I just know every time we were near each other we locked eyes, my eyes bolted to him immediately. AND MY HEART, oh, It jumped like I watched a thriller! It's my favorite genre even though I don't watch media often since nothing interests me. He interested me. oh but he's too beautiful..so alluring.. You know those type of people look they way they do because they keep up with themselves. I know everyone have struggles yet beautiful people finds the strength to remove the pressure. How inspiring. He has style, his hair is well kept, and by the way he has his lanyard he has a car. [even now I sigh releasing my bones from the tension] He's way out of my league. Besides I have someone... Someone very very difficult but, you know, if we grow together then maybe our love will spark again? surely? but each day I saw him and our eyes greet.. I wouldn't dart my eyes away anymore. I dreamed each time hearing his voice. Him smiling at me. Morning hugs, long walks, holding hands, eating out, expressing our distress, kissing goodbye, moaning for more, UGHHHHH. The months of dreaming simple romantic desires started to make me into a dinner plan! Could I really have someone who knows how to start there adult life? Could I even be near him? At the time my attempt rescue of first love aid started draining. Why bother explaining when it's so painful?

"I don't need to do this when you already know how I feel about you, I don't need to express it and I'm not changing for anyone"

It's true. Those were Marcello words for me. I wanted so much that didn't need to be done. That was my love language though, right? Why can't I have it.. Don't I deserve it? I'm alive keeping good balancing.. why can I get more? How can it be too much? It helps me! This is bad right? I'm not trying to be bad I'm just trying to reason.. Think straight. Everyone has to think straight...

I do feel like a star. Without know I can already do amazing things. You know true stars- up in the sky are shapeless well not really, they're spheres but still they're plasma there fore they are shapeless! But everyone always draw them with five points. I know when you see light from afar it bends depending on the lens showing you such points.. However.. Evenso...no one can see me like how I do.

So yeah I can't think straight. it's not like me. I want what I want and I can't keep bending. I want to maintain one form right now. I want to become a magical girl and when I do, I'll finally be able to start a family and since I made it, it'll a family meant for me! I spend the beginning of my life being confused and hated but now I know I deserve love! so fuck you! This time I won't be hesitant, this time I'll do dare!

I do love how exotic of a person I am in spirit and appearance but certain people on the internet decides to call girls like me a 'pick me girl' DDDX is it like that trope of stupid blondes? That's just people being bullies though! so- so what if I am @-@ they're don't understand the struggles! No one has ever called me that but I do feel like they are mocking me.. SO WHAT!? I've been bullied and stared at my whole life [I can still barely handle it] but who cares! THEY DONT KNOW MEEEEEE. They're probably some pedophile or murder anyways! I'm neither of those things THEREFORE I AM A BETTER PERSON THAN MOST OF THESE CLOTHED PSYCHOS, Everyone is a suspect!! EVERYONEEEE

oh owo but that doesn't mean friendship shouldn't exist, you see I think that there's many types of realties- not just dreams and this shared reality no. I'm talking about the personal! The 2D Dimensional! Technology baby!! In my dream reality I love myself so much that being alone is great!! AND I'll have 2 lovely people that forms a friend group! 1 grand friend I can hang out with! Co-worker mates! and obviously A LOVER! and this is finally the story of my

Paramour with Soul!!!