#does this count as pride? theyre gay its good for them i think it is

[p4r4n0rmal-exe]

Hi chat i died for a moment- uhm, heres pride heart

im!! extremely proud of this piece! i worked so fuxking hard yall dont even KNOW the strwss i had over Narinders mouth FRRRRRRR

anyways heres the!!!!!!!! speedpaint. see my siffering. please. i died.

teehee

[fictionalpeoplecompleteme]

I’m a bisexual girl and I’m in love with Julie so I was wondering if maybe u could write one where the reader thought she was straight but slowly realizes she’s bi and in love with Julie, reader comes out to parents and when they don’t accept she runs to Julie and they kiss and it’s kinda angsty but then BAM fluff

Title: Valid

Request: Yes / No

Word Count: 3234 (!!)

Warnings: homophobia !!, probs not well written angst omg

(A/N): not me saying im back and not being back i hate myself. yall, there’s no schedule i just post whenever im like, active and thats a really bad habbit that i should NOT keep doing istg. also au where the band never died, but theyre never mentioned. anyways ty ty TY to the sweetie who asked for this ! i literally squealed when i read this request. not this being 3k words umm help

You had your moments. Those weird moments where you didn’t know what you were feeling, especially to the person you were feeling those emotions to. Like this one time where it was a normal day watching Disney Channel and eating pizza (basically living the dream) and then a new movie popped up. “Teen Beach Movie” was the film, and let me tell you, when you saw Butchy AND Lela wearing leather, let’s just say you were confused why felt his way for both of them... it wasn’t right.

No, of course it was right ! You had these feelings for both genders, and your feelings were valid, so why wasn’t it right? Well, it was a simple answer. 

Your parents.

Of course, they didn’t down right say they hated the lgbtg+ community. Although they might as well have downright said that they did, because with the things they say,

“Why do they get a whole MONTH of pride?”

“Ugh, the gays are making it EVERYTHING about them.”

“Do they have to do that in public? Couldn’t they have waited until they got home?”

“Why would they put that in tv?! The kids are gonna watch that and think that they’re gay!”

Obviously you heard their views, and when you started to realize you somewhat fit in their hate demographic, you “decided” that you weren’t going to. And that’s how it has been for a long time.

RIIINNGG

Ugh, another school day.

“Kill me now.”

You got up your very comfortable bed, and did your daily routine. After you were finished with that and dinner, you were dropped off at the infamous Los Feliz High School. You were then greeted by your best friend, Octavia.

“Hey bestiee.” you joked.

“Hey rat.” Octavia said with the same energy. 

“So, did you finally finish atla last night?” you asked.

“Of course! To have a chance to see my husbands is a chance I’ll always take. Even started watching tlok! Mako does looks scrumptious not gonna lie.” she said, doing that weird tucking her hair behind her ear and having a look of thirst on her face. Its the fact that she basically always does that for me.

“Not you finishing atla AND starting tlok the very same night. I don’t think that’s normal.” you said shaking your head. 

“Lets just say that if I get diagnosed with insomnia, don’t be surprised.”

“I don’t think anyone would be.” you said while the both of you are putting your supplies in our locker.

“ANYWAYS, I’m sorry for you getting moved to Mr. G’s class. I know he can be very mean.” Octavia said sympathetically.

And it’s all true. Mr. G is basically known for being modern day Snape, favorites and all (especially to the popular kids). Considering you were fresh meat to his class, you were not looking forward to the inevitable insults. 

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I can NOT stand the fact that I wasn’t even in his class in the first place, thinking I was safe, and then I got moved!” you yelled.

“I know, I know.” she said while putting her hands on your shoulder. “(y/n), if he even BREATHES in your direction, just tell me and I swear the next time I see him its on sight.” Octavia said with a very stern look on her face. “Honestly I can’t believe that the principle wouldn’t fire him, he has enough complaints for at least a suspension.”

“O, what would I do without you? And besides, don’t blame her. She genuinely tried to fire him. But I heard that he lawyered up to the point where he was basically untouchable.” you said.

“We lost.” “We truly did.”

Right after that conversation, the bell rang. 

“Good luck (y/n)! I love you !!” said Octavia while going to her 1st period class. 

“I love you too!” you yelled back.

Oh lord. Please please make this class bearable.

You walked to the door, and took a deep breath. As you went inside, not one second went by as you already got a taste of his scrutiny.

“Well well, if it isn’t the newbie! (y/n) (y/l/n). Just pick an empty seat as that’ll be the only way you’ll get someone to sit next to you.” he chuckled

You wanted to die right then and there. 

And it got worse as the whole class seemed to find that insult funny, considering that they all laughed. 

“O m gosh, Mr G. That was your best one yet!” said Carrie. Of course she had something to say. Not one situation where she kept her mouth shut and yelled her commentary to everyone in the room.

You shuffled your way to the back of the class, to find an empty seat next to this girl. She looked familiar, but not to the point where you knew her name. Though you wished you had. She looked quite.. pretty. With her amazing hair, and her beautiful eyes. Not to mention her face in general..

NO !

No. Of course you had these thoughts of her, she’s just naturally pretty, anyone would’ve thought that. You then put your backpack behind the seat and proceeded to sit down next to her. A few moments passed of you sitting next to the girl, until she said,

“Sorry about that. Mr G. can be very mean sometimes to everyone, -not that that’s okay!” she stuttered. “It’s just, don’t take it personally.”

“Er- thanks.”

“I’m Julie by the way! What’s your name?”

“I’m (y/n).”

“Nice you (y/n)! With each other, I promise you, we can get through his class.”

You smile at her. And Julie smiled back. of course she had to be nice too!

“Well Ms. (y/n), Ms. Molina, talking in my class? I’m not even mad, just surprised! Ms. (y/n) actually found someone to talk to!” said Mr. G.

Aaand of course, he has something to say again.

“I’m surprised she has anything to say at all, considering the amount of times you had already talked down to her. Just simply leave her alone.” said Julie with assert. 

You were shocked to say the least. And it showed to, having a look of disbelief all over your face.

“Um, wel- uh, Ms. Molina, keep that mouth closed, if you don’t want to spend your lunch in detention.” said Mr G. 

You were honestly very glad that she stood up for you in that moment. A little too glad, because in that time, the feelings started to flood in.

Of course, why wouldn’t it! She was just simply nice to you and you had already developed whole feelings for her! But was it exactly bad? Sure, your parents deemed that it already was, but that didn’t mean that you had to. This is who you were, a human being with valid feelings, and there was nothing wrong with that. So with this whole situation, you said with a big smile,

“Thank you.” 

Hey, you never said you were good at speaking with other people. But I don’t think it mattered to Julie, because she had returned your smile, and in that moment you realized you can find yourself deeper in love.

The two of you really had bonded during class time. Sure, you can say that you both flirted but you were never really good at figuring that out, even when you were flirting with boys (it had always been Octavia’s job to figure that out.) But considering the things she said to you.

“I love your hair!”

“You have very nice hands.”

“Your eyes are a beautiful shade of (y/e/c).”

After class, you both knew that you liked, liked each other. But that's where the hard part came in, actually confessing. To be totally honest, you could barely manage confessing to a boy, imagine with Julie? Although you were happy to know that Julie had already thought about this, because when you both walked out the door, she took your hand and guided you to the music room, where the both of you were alone.

Both of you were facing each other. You could tell she was nervous, cause she was playing with her hands, and didn’t seem to try to make eye contact with you.

“(y/n), I know we just met this class,” she said, both chuckling, “but would you like to get coffee with me sometime?”

Oh boy, she actually asked you out! Don’t get you wrong, you were happy! In spite the fact that you had your parents to worry about. So with that, knowing all that was at risk, you still said with full confidence,

“I would love to.”

Julie gave you the biggest smile you had yet to see. She moved a strand of hair out of your face and then proceeded to hold your hands.

“It’s a date! How about at 4 after school?” she said.

“The perfect time.”

After exchanging numbers, you both felt ecstatic, the both of you just left the room with the biggest grin. You couldn’t believe that you had gotten a date with Julie! Now I know that you’re gonna say that you should’ve told Julie about your situation with your parents, but she looked so happy that you couldn’t possibly have ruined the moment with that.

After that amazing moment, you had managed to spot Octavia in the hallway. You walked up to her like you normally would, though this time you had a scared expression. You had never come out before. Though you thought the possibility of keeping this from your parents, this wasn’t something you could keep from her. So walking up to her, you just blurted out the truth, without a second thought.

“Hey! How was Mr-.”

“I’m bi!”

She seemed stunned after a second, but only a second as she bursted out laughing out of nowhere.

“Um-”

“Oh my gosh, the way that was the way you came out to me! It’s the disorganization for me.” said Octavia, while wiping her tears away.

“Wait-, you don’t care?” you asked confused.

“Do you want me to be bothered or something?” she asked in a more sarcastic tone.

“Well no- it's just- I don’t know, I was just scared I guess.”

“Listen,” she said sternly while again putting her hands on your shoulders as a way to comfort you. “I will love you no matter who you love. Understand?”

“And I you. The problem is my parents. I know what they think of people like me, and it’s not good. How am I going to survive this ughh.”

“They’re your parents, I’m sure it’ll be a shock to them, but if they truly love you, they’ll accept you.”

“Thank you Octavia, what will do without you?”

“Hey, that’s what I’m here for.”

After you finally finished your classes, you nervously went to the front of the school to wait for your mom to pick you up. You felt so nauseous, to the point where you were sure that you were going to throw up right there. After waiting for 5 minutes, your mom pulled up. You got in the car and you felt so nervous that you were just silent the whole car ride. Your mom for sure took notice.

“Hey sweetie, you’re alright?” said your mom.

“Yeah, I just don’t feel so well.”

“Oh, are you alright? Did you eat something bad maybe?”

“Yeah, probably something during lunch.”

And after that the conversation fully stopped as your mom noticed you were not in the mood to talk.

You finally got home and you felt even worse than before. You dreaded this moment, and just felt like passing out. As you got inside, you quickly went inside your room, not bothering to say hi to your dad. You put your stuff on the ground and just started to really think about this.

They’re my parents! Like Octavia said, they should still accept me, I’m their child. And if they don’t? They have to, right?

Right?

You finally built up the courage to go outside your room and go to the kitchen, where both of you parents were.

“Mom, dad? I need to tell you something.” you said, basically shaking.

“Sure, what is it sweetie?” said your dad.

And without a second thought, you just blurt it out?

“I’m bi!”

It was dead silent. And that scared you. 

The part that truly scared you? Hearing the words that you had been dreading to hear.

“You’re pranking me, right?” you dad chuckled, as if it was a joke.

That’s when you started to get a little irritated. You knew how your parents were, so this reaction was inevitable. So considering all the preparation, you still got mad. 

“Why would this be a prank?!” you said with an “attitude” (that’s what your parents would say at least, although you were just simply defending yourself).

“Honey, as much I love you, this isn’t natural.” said your mother with a normal tone, which you could argue was just as scary as an angry tone.

“If you actually loved me, you would accept me as I am!” you said, starting to actually get aggrieved.

“Don’t yell at your mother like that!” said your father, who actually stood up from his chair.

“I wouldn’t need to be yelling, if you would actually accept me for who I am, not all this!”

“LISTEN, I’m sure this is just a phase. You either change your ways or you are no longer considered my daughter! No daughter of mine would feel such a disgusting thing!” your father yelled.

That’s when you lost it, you knew that no matter what you did, they would never change their way. That’s why you just let it out, because they would never change their way, so why not just let it all out?

“You know what?! I’m going to leave! I rather be homeless than to live in a house with you two! My two parents who don’t even accept me, WHO DON’T MAKE ME FEEL LOVED OR VALIDATED!” you yelled.

At that point you were shaking and crying. With the anger that you were feeling inside you didn’t even think to get any clothes or basic necessities, you just grabbed your phone and just ran out with your parents yelling your name. But you didn’t care, you were not going back there, that’s for sure.

After that horrible fight, you went to a park that was near your house. You went inside a private bathroom that was thankfully unoccupied, cause if it wasn’t, you were pretty sure that you would’ve broken down right then and there. Once you had gone in there, you surprisingly didn’t cry. You just held it in, and really thought about your situation. You realized that it was pretty stupid of you that you didn’t get your belongings and then left the house. Oh! And that you were pretty much homeless.

After a good thinking session, you did the most sensical thing you could do in that situation. 

You called Julie.

Now I know what you’re thinking! ‘Why Julie, why didn’t you call Octavia instead?’. Well it was pretty simple, you just desperately wanted to see Julie. You pressed on her contact, not really knowing what was coming with it. What if she thought you were weird? What if she laughed at you? What if she felt weirded out with you and then blocked your number? What if-

“Hello?”

“Julie?” You sounded pretty distraught, so it wasn’t surprising when she sounded concerned herself once she heard your voice.

“Hey, is everything alright?”

“Julie, this might sound really weird, but something really bad happened and you were the only person I could think to call! If you’re busy I’m sorry I won’t-”

“Hey! I’m sure everything’s going to be fine. Where are you?”

You took a deep breath, you were just thankful she didn’t block you right then and there. “I’m at the park in (street name).”

“Okay, just stay right there and I’ll come and get you.”

When the call ended, you walked out of the bathroom and sat on swings, waiting for Julie. After you waited, for what seemed an eternity, you saw her.

Julie.

She spotted you in the swings, and gave you the sweetest smile. She walked closer to you and stretched out her hands, which you took. After just staring at each other, she gave you the biggest hug, which (not gonna lie) you just really needed. Much to your disappointment, she let go of you, she swung an arm around you, and started walking to her house. The both of you didn’t say anything, but you guys didn’t need to, the peaceful silence was nice.

The both of you then arrived at her house. That’s when you started to panic, you weren’t looking forward to bother her family. 

“Are you sure we can go in the house?” you asked 

She gave you a chuckle, “I think we can go to my house.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to bother any-”

“Hey.” She proceeded to grab your hands and then moved to cup your face. “Everything’s going to be okay, my dad and brother aren’t home, and even if they were, you would absolutely be greeted with open arms.” she said,

You both went inside the house and then inside Julie’s room. She motioned to sit on her bed and you did. She sat next to you and then held your hand, intertwining with each other.

“It’s okay, you can talk to me.”

You took a deep breath, and just let all your feelings out. “It’s just my parents were never really supporting of the lgbtq community, so it was stupid of me to actually think they would have any other different reaction. And the fact that they would react like that? To say such cruel things? I just..- I don’t know, is it wrong for me to feel bad?”

“They’re your family, of course you would have this sensation of feeling bad. But I just want you to know that they’re in the wrong, not you. Any sane person would think that, everyone just wants to be accepted. Just know this,” she said while leaning closer, your hands still intertwined. “you are valid, so many people love you no matter who you love.” she said while moving a strand of hair out of your face.

You continued to smile, but looked into Julie’s eyes with so much adore. And the best part was, she was looking at you the exact same way.

Without a second thought, you decided to just go for it. You kissed her. The kiss was passionate, and sweet. Julie then gave soft kisses to you cheeks and knuckles, murmuring comforting words such as “it’s okay” “you’re alright” “i’m here”. 

After pulling away you both looked at each other, and then you offered your favorite pastime.

“Can we go to sleep? I just wanna sleep the stress away.”

Julie chuckled and then agreed. You both got into a position of Julie laying down while your head rested on her chess, and her holding you. While you were half asleep, you said those three words,

“I love you.” 

You were half asleep, so you didn’t understand the severity of the action, but before you fully drifted, you heard these words coming out of her mouth.

“I love you too.”

Taglist (link in bio!)

@noncannonships @mandiscadelinha @yoyokzzz @twist3dtinkerbell

[ocegion]

001 fandom questions - dragon age

Thank youuuuuuu

Favorite character:

In Origins, probably Morrigan and/or Alistair. In inquisition, I’d have to say Dorian

Least Favorite character:

Arl Howe. Bitch. Loghain is also quite a piece of shit, from what I’ve seen so far. 

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

is it valid to use my character in this? lmao

Okay, I can think of Dorian/Bull (it never happened to me because I always romance one of them, but I think its cute), I once did think that Leliana/Josephine would probably be real sweet back in the day when they totally had a thing going on before settling on good friends. Aaaaaaand not gonna lie, my brain ain’t producing any more right now :( Im sorry

Character I find most attractive:

… Iron Bull. Next question pls >_>

Character I would marry:

I am forever pissed the game did not actually let me marry Dorian >:(

Character I would be best friends with:

Varric, by sheer grace of it being impossible not to be friends with him. What a great dude

a random thought:

It’s gonna be a hell of a clusterfuck to include the inquisitor in DA4 by the sheer wide range of possibilities for the character, and by the looks of the end of tresspasser, the inquisitor has to be a major character in the game.

An unpopular opinion:

Solas isn’t actually that extremely well fleshed out character. He’s got his charm, no doubt, but he’s not all that hot shit people make him out to be. He’s prideful and he’s got fucked up priorities, and thats’s it.

My Canon OTP:

‘canon’ is kinda a hard concept in this game, but Imma go with Morrigan/Warden because my warden is gonna romance her and I know she talks about him in inquisition if you do that, and that makes me smile.

My Non-canon OTP:

Weird flex, but both my inquisitor and my orlesian warden (who, yes, does exist much ahead of me actually playing awakening) have kinda outgrown their ‘canon’ roles in my mind, and in one scenario in which neither end up in their canon positions, theyre together. Im kinda pretty attached to that scenario.

Most Badass Character:

Leliana, not gonna lie. Dorian can set things on fire all he wants and Cassandra can slay all the demons, but Leliana makes changes in the continent by lifting a few fingers. That’s badass

Most Epic Villain:

Without taking back what I previously said about Solas, he is epic (although my opinion might change when I get to fight the Archdemon in Origins) (And Saarath’s fight was intense. Imagine fighting him as a mage qunari, knowing that’s what you could have been)

Pairing I am not a fan of:

None that comes to mind counts. Does Celene/Briala count?

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

I think Vivienne should have been much more fleshed out, because I really do admire her but it’s kinda hard to find common ground with her when she loves looking at people over her shoulder that much. She deserves better writing. Same for Sera, whom I love, but is too close-minded.

Favourite Friendship:

My inquisitor and Cassandra. They’re bff in my playthrough

Character I most identify with:

Dorian. Im gay, dramatic, and I like books, what other choice could I have. Also Alistair because I also never know where I’m standing or what I’m supposed to do

Character I wish I could be:

Dorian, post trespasser. Magic, a good position to make changes for the better from, and the worst shit in my life in the past. the dream

[karmanticmoved]

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

no

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.

[b00bstone]

half the ask the blogger questions please u can pick which ones

so i think this is half

2. If you could have dinner with any 3 living or dead people, who would they be and why?

my moms dad. because he was apparently bi. and my mom doesnt talk about him a lot so im curious. 2. van gogh. i feel like we would get along. we are both depressed and wanna die. and like to paint. altho hes wayyyy better than i could ever hope to be. and 3. celestine. i really fucking miss her. 

3. What makes you laugh?

not a lot tbh. my sense of humour doesnt make a lot of sense but thomas sanders usually does. 

9. What do you like to do on the weekends?

sleep and cry. 

13. Tell me one surprising fact about you.

i like exercising. i dont do it because i never have energy but when i do (as long as its something fun like biking or hiking or swimming) then i really enjoy it. 

the rest is under a readmore  because this post is long af and it gets kinda depressing... (i hope i did it right)

15. What were you like as a child?

not much different than i am now. annoying and selfish. 

16. What are some things on your bucket list?

i wanna go to space (which is crazy for someone whose two main fears are heights and the dark)

i wanna kiss someone really cute and have that feeling that all those poems and songs and books and movies talk about. the magical one. 

i wanna get married. like the white dress and the reception and everything. 

i wanna go to pride parade.

i wanna go to a gay bar

i wanna be so in love with someone that it makes everyone else simultaneously jealous and hopeful. like of course someone that loves me back too. 

i wanna live somewhere like seattle. 

i wanna go see a broadway musical in person. 

i wanna go to a concert

i wanna have REALLY  great sex. 

i wanna travel the world. 

and ill end it there or it could go on for years. then this post would get REALLY long. 

23. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be and why?

its ur life. do with it whatever the fuck u want. and if people object then flip the bird at them and say fuck u i only get one of these and ill live it how i please. because maybe if younger me had heard that id be braver and actually be able to find in me the courage to leave this house behind and carve out my own little hole in this world. 

24. If you were stuck on a deserted island and could only bring one thing, what would it be?

a plane fully stocked with fuel and a pilot. the pilot comes with the plane and the fuel so it all counts as one thing.

29. What would you do if you won a million dollars?

buy myself a house far away from everything and everyone and move all my fav people there and their fav people and just chill there for a while. 

30. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

the ability to get a rough idea of the future. like good or bad. u know. 

32. What actor or actress would star as you in a movie about your life?

Imelda Staunton

34. If you could trade lives with anyone else for one day, who would you trade with?

trump. one day is all id need. 

39. Are you a picky eater?

yes. i hate meat. i always have. and as a little kid i didnt even know how animals were treated. i just hate the taste. adn i hate cooked veggies. raw veggies are ok but cooked ones are gross. and spinach is gross. and there are a ton of other stuff i could list 

41. What beverage do you consume most often?

energy drinks. i had like 5 today. 

42. What is the first thing you wash in the shower?

hair. 

44. How are you feeling right now?

sad.

48. Do you love yourself?

fuck no. 

49. When was the last time you cried and why?

like 5 seconds ago. because im depressed and hate myself. 

53. Have you ever flown in an airplane?

yeah. i was terrified of it as a little kid. 

55. Are your parents or guardians strict?

well the only people i know whose parents are worse than mine on the strictness scale i recently realized have abusive parents so id say yes. they are rather strict. 

57. Have you ever been in love?

yeah. requited love? nah.

58. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

the only time it is acceptable to bite ice cream is if it is in sandwich form. 

59. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life ever apologize?

no i still havent apologized to myself yet. 

60. What are some of your turn-ons?

confidence. but like humble confidence. vulnerability. being into me. 

61. What are some of your turn-offs?

cockiness. being an asshole. not being into me. 

63. What are you thinking about right now?

my turn ons and offs and how much i hate myself.

65. Do you ever illegally download entertainment such as music, movies, etc.?

… ok so if ur from the FBI i need u to look away. ok now that the FBI isnt reading this. yeah i illegally stream movies and tv shows. not so much music tho. ok FBI u can continue reading now. 

66. What is your zodiac sign?

cancer

67. Do you believe in karma or predestiny?

i dont know. i mean it makes sense. karma that is. predestiny is kinda depressing but i was raised in a very christian enviroment and the bible is confusing on that. so i dont really believe in it because then like my reason for living outside of people and my dog is almost completely gone.

68. Is there anything you want to say to anyone right now?

to my romantic soulmate: if ur out tehre come find me bitch. im lonely and want someone to kiss. 

70. What is your stance on abortion?

i think its not my decision to make for other people. i dont think i would eget one personally but if someone else wants to then thats their choice and they should be allowed to make it. 

71. Do you believe in ghosts?

yeah. it just seems plausible. 

75. What do you daydream about?

having friends. and a bf/gf. being happy and seeing my friends and boyfriend or girlfriend all the time. not living here. i also fantasize about killing myself sometimes. or just dying in general. but its mostly about having friends and a significant other.

76. Where do you want to live after retirement?

i dunno. maybe switch between hawaii and alaska. or just hawaii with occassional trips to alaska.

77. What would you change your first name to?

joseph. 

78. If you believe in a God or Higher Power, what one question would you want to ask Him or Her?

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! theyd get what i mean. 

82. What do you worry about most?

being alone forever and everyone hating me as much as i hate me

83. When was the last time you tried something new and what was it?

last weekend. it was food. 

84. Who do you compare yourself to?

lots of people, one person specifically whose name we will not use tho is blub. im not gonna give away any info on this person. but i kinda hate them for no reason. theyre a nice person that i barely know but i hate them and theyre so much better than me. which is part of why i hate them. 

86. What five words would you use to describe your personality?

annoying. needy. selfish. weird. ew. 

89. If not now, then when?

good question. when someone wants to date me. 

90. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?

yeah 

91. What activities make you lose track of time?

talking to friends. crying. sleeping. 

93. What is your biggest regret?

not dying earlier? 

95. Are you a messy person or a clean person?

messy messy messy. 

97. How tall are you?

like 5.5 o5 5.6

98. What is your guilty pleasure?

eating a ton of cheetos. and also using bathbombs and facemasks. 

99. Do you prefer sweet or salty?

lately salty more. but my fav is cheesy.

100. What is your favorite social media website?

tumblr is a hellsite but probably tumblr. 

                                                                                                                       thanks for asking my depressed ass some questions!