#does some good old fashioned murder revenge

[harmofud]

Why Every BG3 Origin Character Could Work Romantically with Every Other BG3 Origin Character (Astarion Edition)

Just so everyone knows before reading this, I haven't finished the game yet so some of these might get updated later. I just started Act 2, but I was spoiled almost entirely for Astarion's, Lae'zel's, and Shadowheart's stories, partially for Durge's and Gale's, and almost none at all for Karlach's and Wyll's. Please do try and avoid putting spoilers in the comments and tags, because I would still like to experience some of these moments in game first.

Astarion x The Dark Urge: Astarion has a deep seated well of rage and fury that manifests into a very palpable bloodlust. He likes murder. He is a vampire spawn after all. His very existence requires causing some kind of suffering, and it is all made easier if he enjoys it. It's something he could either indulge in or struggle to unlearn, and Durge's character arc mimics that. Astarion also values trust, something he is afforded very little of because of his nature. In Durge, he would find someone who struggles with themselves and also struggles with the lust for death. They would either become the greatest and most horrific power couple there ever was, or they'd support each other in their mutual struggle to be good.

Astarion x Gale: Astarion craves power. Above all else, above even his want for revenge, he wants the ability to protect himself, whether that be through murder and theft or through a good-old fashioned illithid tadpole. Power for protection is his M.O. Frankly you could make a case for every character on this list being a potential romance because they have power and he wants it; however, he likes power that is from beyond the pale. Pure brute force is not something he tends to approve of unless it is an entertainment for him; if given the option, he'd prefer something subtler, something that can continue to give and grow. Gale fits that description perfectly, and is both subtle and not shy about his magical prowess: both things that would draw Astarion in.

Astarion x Karlach: He doesn't tend to like pure brute force, but Astarion does like hot people, and Karlach is Hot with a capital H. Not only do they have a shared experience of being taken advantage of and being forced to do the bidding of beings that they couldn't even pretend to hold a candle to, but that same feeling of requiring freedom no matter what unites them. They would both do whatever they have to to remain out of the clutches of those who want them back. There's also that wonderful dichotomy of Astarion being supernaturally cold and Karlach being supernaturally hot, and I imagine they'd find each other very pleasant to cuddle. Imagine being warm in bed at night for the first time in 200 years.

Astarion x Lae'zel: Of all the origin characters, Astarion and Lae'zel's morals and opinions match the most, even more so than Durge's. He likes being brutal and unforgiving, and Lae'zel is so much more pointed in both of those aspects than anybody else on the list. He would find her brutally strong in a cunning sort of way, someone who potentially could and would stand up to Cazador and any other number of enemies with him once she has marked him as an ally. I think he would view Lae'zel as a challenge to woo, and I think her almost complete refusal to engage with him in a way that he understands (she never smiles and her requests for a good time are blunt) would make him try all the more to get her to do something other than scowl at him.

Astarion x Shadowheart: At first, I think Astarion would find Shadowheart kind of cagey, but that's okay because he'd be cagey right back. She's cunning and manipulative to those she doesn't like, and he could very easily mimic that. I think they'd have a mutual distrust and dislike of each other that extends into a kind of regretful appreciation for the other's manipulation tactics. The two of them would ironically be the most real with each other compared to everyone else because they both know the other one is hiding something and hiding it well. They know what manipulation looks like, and Astarion might appreciate someone who knows how to manifest that. Also, they both carry secrets that would justify people murdering them/expelling them from society, and I think once they both reveal that to the other, they'd quickly become friends and companions, something they both sorely need.

Astarion x Wyll: The epitome of the 'I can fix him' arc. Wyll and Astarion could not be more at odds with their morals, and I think at the beginning Astarion would be upset at how constantly and unfalteringly kind and compassionate Wyll is, even to those he doesn't like and doesn't want to save (Karlach). After all, where was the kindness and compassion for Astarion in over 200 years, right? Why did no one stick their necks out for him? But when presented with the kindness over and over again, with Wyll making sure that Astarion is okay, I think he would warm up to Wyll. There's also the fact that both of them were/are under the thumb of something much more powerful than them, and Astarion would have some sort of pity in his cold dead heart for someone still clearly in the throes of a demon's grasp. I think he would try to 'fix' Wyll by making him care more for himself and think of himself sometimes over others. It also helps that Wyll is noble born, so things that Wyll would do for flirting and romance would be more graceful than Astarion is used to.

[hellomynameisghostface]

I never understood why people hate on Amber and Richie's motive when it's far from the worst in the franchise, in my opinion. So here's a little rant of my opinions on all Ghostface motives. Billy Loomis: his motive literally makes no sense to me but because he's one of the original Ghostfaces, everyone puts him on a pedestal. He kills Maureen because she's sleeping with his father, Hank, causing his mother, Nancy, to leave them. Makes sense, he could have stopped there. Instead he targets Sidney for literally nothing. Just simply because she's the daughter of the woman who broke up his family. It would have made more sense to go after Sidney while Maureen was still alive to make her suffer before killing her. Therefore, making his motive one of the dumbest in the franchise for me.

Stu Macher: his motive is simple yet affective; he has none, or at least as far as we know. Most real life murderers probably don't have much of a motive either so while it's realistic it's not exactly the most creative motive but really, how creative can you really get? There's only so many reasons to want to kill someone especially when the main target is the same unproblematic person just trying to live her life in peace.

Mickey Altieri: I love Mickey but he has one of the dumbest motives in the franchise and no one says shit. He literally just wants to get caught and blame the movies. Nancy did the right thing shooting him.

Nancy Loomis: one of the better motives, as Nancy herself says, good old fashion revenge. It's the first time in the franchise that the motive is revenge (no, I don't count Billy's motive as revenge. Maybe when it came to Maureen but not Sidney) so it's a fresh motive in these movies.

Roman Bridger: another motive I particularly like. I think of his motive less revenge and more resentment. No motive is good enough to kill but his is one of the ones where you could understand how someone who's mentally unstable could snap. Being abandoned by your mother just for her to have another child she loves and cares for and then turns you away once you try to reunite with her? I'd be upset too. I mean...not enough to kill but you get my point.

Charlie Walker: another dumb motive that no one talks about. As a matter of fact, does he even have one? We know he's a "Stab" fanatic and a simp for Jill so what I get from this is he was easy to persuade because he was already a fan of the movies and a horny teenage boy. I don't think he could've given a fuck less if he got famous from it.

Jill Roberts: her motive is one of the best and aged like fine wine. In the world we live in today, some people would quite literally kill to be famous. I know some people have complaints about it but it's really not that farfetched, people are mad crazy these days and kill for the stupidest reasons.

Amber Freeman: like Charlie, I don't know if we really get a motive for Amber. Richie seems so much more passionate about the "Stab" movies and their killing spree becoming a movie then she does (he literally doesn't shut up about it and barely lets Amber give her motive or intentions.) What I got from watching the movie was that Amber was a fan of horror movies in general (she very clearly likes "Psycho," "Halloween" and "Friday The 13th") but she claims she's been obsessed ever since her parents bought Stu Macher's house, where the first murder spree took place, implying she didn't care as much before moving in. She also says her and Richie had similar ideas, not the same. I think her motive was more like Stu's and was to just kill for the fun of it. If her and Richie's motives were in fact the same, it's still a decent motive and original compared to the Ghostfaces before. If her motive was similar to Stu's, it's still a decent motive just unoriginal.

Richie Kirsch: his motive is a lot more crystal clear than Amber's. As I already mentioned above, he doesn't shut up about it. He hated the recent "Stab" movie and thought creating a new killing spree would provide new source material to make a better movie than the last. Considering how upset people in the "Scream" fandom got about this movie (and how other fandoms get with their respective franchises) just proves that his motive isn't that dumb. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if something like this happened in real life, especially when you take into consideration that these movies inspired real life murders already.

Jason Carvey: his motive wasn't great but it wasn't terrible. He was just another fanatic (which is repetitive of the last movie) wanting to continue "Richie's film" (fuck Amber, I guess...I hate how this movie down played her when she carried Richie) but since he was an opening kill, his motive probably wasn't meant to be all that great. Had he gotten further with his plan though, I wouldn't have hated it. PS: if you were expecting a Greg Bruckner paragraph, sorry but his bitch ass was killed before the plan was meant to be put into motion so therefore, he wasn't officially a Ghostface in my eyes. His motive would have been the same as Jason's anyway, as far as we know.

Wayne Bailey, Ethan Landry and Quinn Bailey: I'm going to include them all in one paragraph since their motives are all the same: good old fashion revenge. As Richie's father, brother and sister their only goal was to seek revenge on anyone who was involved in Richie's death. Nothing suggests that any of them had any additional motives. The motive itself is fine, I literally mentioned it was one of the better ones in my Nancy paragraph. The only problem I have with it is now it's become repetitive and unoriginal. It's basically just a knockoff of "Scream 2" with an extra killer. From my point of view, it's the only movie that straight up reuses a motive. To summarize: pansy ass mama's boy who's sad she abandoned him, psycho who was peer pressured, psycho who wants to get caught and taken to trial, mother seeking revenge, son who was abandoned by his mother and has resentment against his sister, simp horror fan, psycho who wants fame, horror fans who want a better installment in their favorite franchise, horror fans who want to continue the last Ghostfaces plans for a better installment in their favorite franchise and a family seeking revenge; notice how only one of these are almost exactly the same to another. (I guess Billy and Roman's could be categized as similar, being abandoned by their mothers, but they're different enough for me and Roman's motive was better and made more sense. Amber and Richie have the same or at least similar motive but because their partners in the same movie I'll allow it. Jason and Gregg's motive was meant to continue what Amber and Richie sought out to do but they were opening kills so their motive was kind of a throwaway and irrelevant anyway.)

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Jason Todd

Jason is as someone else put it succinctly "a mass-murdering terrorist and tax-evader". He does evil, the story constantly condemns him as evil and sinful and thuggish and stupid and uneducated and overemotional. He does have a lower and more selective kill count than Luke Skywalker, John Wick, Disney Mulan, etc. So you got part of the fandom writing an annoying flood of fan fiction about him being a warm soft nice guy skipping through the daisies with his fam (hey have fun, guys). Then you got another side picking out the worst ex-canon comics for him (while they ignore the worst ex-canon comics for their own fave characters i.e. "my fave only did evil because of a mind-control potion, but Jason always chooses to be evil even though the story and the writer himself said he was crazy and broken and suffering from magic insanity")... and accuse him of being a cop (he is a cop-hating cop-killing terrorist murderer criminal thuggy thug thug constantly being hunted by law enforcement in a world bursting to the brim with actual copaganda while the heroes regularly cooperate with police—so many anti-fans are misusing the term copaganda because they hate this fictional character to the point they want to train people to be blind to actual copaganda). Jason is absolutely a villain—and he returned to his hometown when it was a battlefield with hundreds killed in the latest conflict, ruled over by a child-killing torture-enthusiast. War is always wrong and evil, and Jason was raised to be a soldier in that war—and when the promises of justice and safety never came true, he decided to seize power through murder. Jason is evil. He is inarguably a lesser evil than what usually plagues the town. Innocent people are alive because he got his hands dirty. He is such an asshole. People like him should not exist. He shot a 10-year-old in the chest, and nobody not even the 10-year-old cared the next day because it really wasn't a big deal. He was kidnapped by a billionaire with a taste for young boys, and it's literally not a big deal. His crimesagainst fashion are unforgivable tho.

Batman's adopted son and second Robin that got killed by the Joker and came bag to enact a revenge plan by becoming a Gotham drug lord. He had a duffel bag of 8 decapitated heads at some point and planted a bomb on the Batmobile and then got his throat slit by Batman to save the Joker. He stole his older adoptive brother's (first Robin) identity and blew up a high school but he forbade Gotham's drug rings from selling to children and actually became an anti-hero in Gotham and killed the people Batman wouldn't (rapists, drug lords, etc.). He attacked his little adoptive brother (third Robin) and beat him to a bloody pulp. He also slept with Batman's baby mama. He raised a fucked up Superman clone with kindness. He has lead teams of Outlaws on multiple occasions that love him. He's on good terms with many (not all) of Gotham's vigilantes.

Listen. I love the guy, I love him dearly, but I feel like people these days are trying to make him like completely justified in everything he did?? And like you can see where he’s coming from, sure, but my man did absolutely beat Tim Drake, a teen, half to death for the crime of being Robin. He’s morally gray! He had decapitated heads in duffle bags! Let my guy be morally gray please stop woobifying him

Jason Todd is regularly stripped of his autonomy in fandom to make him more palatable and “redeemable”. They attribute his legitimate trauma, annger, and pain driven actions to “pit madness” a side effect of the way he was resurrected. Not only that but so many people don’t even know what he actually does when he comes back, it’s like a shitty game of telephone where each person tells the next a slightly altered version of his return and at the end everyone thinks that Jason hates the kid who took up the Robin mantle after him and wants to kill him and that he is mad at Bruce for no reason and all Bruce needs to do is tell Jason that he is loved (despite Jason having a lot of evidence to the contrary) and everything will be all better. His values and beliefs and convictions are treated as invalid and his trauma is something he needs to just get over because it’s inconvenient and harmful to everyone else and doesn’t he know that everyone else was also traumatized by his death?

vigilante who kills people • traumatized as hell • has trouble differentiating between good deeds and selfishness • shot his little brother on the spine • tried to kill his other two brothers • operates under the belief that controlling evil is the only way to help innocents • has an immesurable love for the people of Gotham and really wants them to be happy and safe!! • please for the love of god fandom stop talking about him as if the bad things hes done are forgiveable AND as if the good things he's done don't matter

Gonna be honest even canon misinterprets him. There's no winning. All you need to know about DC universe is that multiple different writers have had a go at writing him and every time he is wildly different which is maybe why people interpret him very differently?? Canon interprets him in a he did everything wrong way a lot of times and fanon interprets him in a he did nothing wrong way because he is blorbo to many, when he is very much someone who did a lot of shit wrong but also had a lot going on, while thats still not an excuse for like, a lot of maiming and murder, and (usually) later in the timeline he is less trigger happy and has evened out from villain to morally grey, his whole "redemption" to being morally grey is usually up to fan interpretation whether or not they're chill with letting him keep murdering bad people or they say no murder in general, and whether or not bats is chill with the whole he keeps murdering people thing since he has a staunch no murder stance. Also!! a lot of people in fanon write in the whole pit insanity thing as a way to excuse a lot of the things he did while in his full on villain era, and like,,, i don't think that was canon??? like i straight up think the whole pit madness thing was made up but a lot of DC canon is wibbly wobbly already so its hard to say. hope this wasn't too word salady but i hope you understand that whenever you are consuming any piece of media, canon or fanon, with this man in it you have literally no idea what you are stumbling into you, you are playing fucking spin the wheel, which flavour of Jason Todd are we reading about today. I will say though, canon does objectively treat him like dogshit and only really brings him back every now and then as a punching bag for Batsy whenever they want to have edgy emo abusive dad bruce wayne because comic writers think found family is for chumps and so is being a good parent and actively resist it with every ounce of their soul :/ so I understand why fanon strays so far away, it's just that fanon also can't seem to agree on the degree of morally grey he is?? idk someone save Jason it's the worst custody battle of the century between canon and fanon.

Miguel O'Hara

he is dj internalized homophobia. he is so so sick in the head

[thisaintascenereviews]

Best Of 2023

Well, it’s that time, guys, gals, and non-binary pals — it’s the end of the year (well, it’s already the beginning of the new year now). My buddy Jake and I collaborated on a piece that talks about our favorites of the year, but I wanted to write a bit of a companion piece, in case you didn’t want to look at that, and just wanted to know what my favorites in order were, or if you wanted more detail on what I think of these albums. I won’t waste time, let’s dig into the honorable mentions first, and I’m only going to write maybe a sentence or two on these albums, since I don’t want this to be super long. The honorable mentions are in no particular order, either, I don’t rank those, but the top ten will obviously be just that — a top ten.

Spencer Sutherland - In His Mania

This is the newest album on the list, or at least newest that I found, and Spencer Sutherland is what I call a traditional and old fashioned pop artist with modern production, and that’s what his debut album sounds like. It’s incredibly catchy, fun, and grandiose, but also sounds timeless, and he has a killer voice.

Nita Strauss - The Call Of The Void

Guitarist Nita Strauss came out with her second album, and instead of it being purely instrumental, she included a lot of guests in terms of some of the biggest names in hard rock and metal, and this album kicks a lot of ass.

Thy Art Is Murder - Godlike

Controversy aside, the new album from Thy Art Is Murder is an album that sounds like the way I remember deathcore sounding. Not to sound like an old man, but these days, a lot of the genre is about how heavy and brutal you can get, whereas a lot of what I listened to back about 15 years ago is more about just having sick riffs, solos, and killer vocals. This record reminds me of that, and their new vocalist is pretty damn good.

Honey Revenge - Retrovision

This past year was a theme for catchy and fun albums that got my attention, and one of the first ones I found was Honey Revenge’s debut, Retrovision. These guys take 00s pop-rock and add their own flair to it. I really enjoy this album and I’m excited to see where they go from here.

Broadside - Hotel Bleu

Speaking of which, Broadside had a good year with their new album, and second album with Sharptone, but they took their sound into a mixture of pop-rock, 80s pop, and pop-punk. The album is pretty damn good, and has some of my favorite cuts of the year, but it does lose me a bit with how off the wall it can get. It doesn’t flow as well as it should, but the styles they utilize here are pretty good.

Blackbraid - Blackbraid II

I’ll be honest, folks — I haven’t gotten that metal for the majority of 2023. It’s not that it was bad, and like I said in my piece with Jake, I just didn’t find enough that I really connected with. There were a few exceptions, including Thy Art Is Murder’s latest, but Blackbraid’s second album, aptly titled Blackbraid II is a great mix of black metal, indigenous music, and even some hints of thrash and traditional heavy metal.

Wayfarer - American Gothic

My other favorite black metal album of this year is the new Wayfarer album, American Gothic, and if you wanted an album that takes country, Americana, and black metal, as well as lyricism about the Wild West and the realistic history of the time and region, you’ll love this.

Boys Like Girls - Sunday At Foxwoods

Boys Like Girls are back with their first album in 11 years, give or take, and it’s a good 80s-inspired album that has some slick hooks and reflects a lot more of lead vocalist and songwriter Martin Johnson’s project The Night Game. If you enjoyed that project, you’re sure to enjoy this one.

The Electric Mayhem - S/T

The Muppets had a pretty good year in 2023, especially with The Muppets Mayhem on Disney+, but the band released their debut “album” injunction with the show, and it’s a good little covers album (with a few originals in the mix) performed by the Electric Mayhem, and what’s great about this album is that it feels as though it’s performed by the actual band and not the performers of the characters along with session musicians. This album is just a bunch of fun all around.

Aesop Rock - Integrated Tech Solutions

I hadn’t listened to hip-hop much of 2023, but if there’s one album that I wanted to hear, it’s Aesop Rock’s Integrated Tech Solutions. This is a record that shows that Aes has nothing left to prove, as he’s got a relaxed and melodic flow, lyrics that are both insightful and observational, and a concept that doesn’t make much sense on the surface, but if you dig into it, the concept works a lot better.

Spiritbox - The Fear Of Fear

Spiritbox are back after two years, at least if you don’t count their Rotoscope EP from last year, but they put out a new EP entitled The Fear Of Fear. It’s a great EP that takes elements of their previous projects and combines it all together to make for a relatively short but engaging experience that is sure to leave fans wanting more.

Archetypes Collide - S/T

Archetypes Collide is a metalcore band that has a lot in common with bands like Linkin Park, Bring Me The Horizon, and other metalcore / alt-metal bands, especially ones with a pop sensibility like, because they have elements from a lot of different styles and put it all into a blender. This record is a ton of fun, despite not having much of a unique identity. If anything, hopefully their next album throws some more unique ideas into the mix.

Wind Walkers - What If I Break?

Wind Walkers is a band that Jake showed me, actually, and these guys follow in the same footsteps, although their new album (and first in five years) What If I Break is a generic record that does what it does well, and that’s kind of about it, although it does sound really nice and fans of this style should enjoy this quite a bit.

Cannibal Corpse - Chaos Horrific

Cannibal Corpse released a new album this year, and it was a hell of a good time. Chaos Horrific is the name of it, and this record is more or less what we’ve gotten before, but this record has a lot of passion, fury, and fire in it that I can’t help but enjoy quite a lot. Cannibal Corpse is one of the first metal bands I ever got into, and it feels fitting to put it onto my list, even if it’s the honorable mentions.

Caskets - Reflections

The last honorable mention I’ve got is from another band in the post-hardcore vein that has a pop sensibility, and their second album, Reflections, sort of dials down on the R&B elements of their sound, but the pop elements are still there in full force and they rule.

That’s all the honorable mentions I got, so let’s get into the meat of the list. I don’t want to go into too much detail, because I already did in Jake and I’s piece, but I still wanted to talk about these albums in one way or another.

10: Tyler Childers - Rustin’ In The Rain

Country has a bit of theme on my list this year, and the first album on my list is Tyler Childers’ Rustin’ In The Rain. This record is a nice nostalgic-sounding album that reminds me of a lot of the 1950s and the 1960s. Childers himself even said that this album was his idea of him auditioning for Elvis Presley, and it works quite well. I came back to this record quite a lot, because of how catchy and nostalgic it was.

9: Paramore - This Is Why

Paramore came back after a six-year hiatus, and they changed their style yet again by turning into a post-punk band and it sounds great. A few songs don’t do as much for me compared to the rest, hence why it’s lower, but the stuff that’s great is truly fantastic. If there’s one band that can pull off reinvention, it’s Paramore.

8: The Maine - S/T

The Maine dropping a really solid album wasn’t on my bingo card in 2023, but here we are. Their self-titled album from last year was a slick and catchy slice of 80s pop-rock that worked wonders for me. This record is my favorite of the bunch with this similar sound, including the new Honey Revenge, Broadside, and Boys Like Girls albums.

7: Seth MacFarlane & Liz Gillies - We Wish You The Merriest

A Christmas album in my top ten of the year? Say it isn’t so, but indeed, it is. I really enjoyed this record when it dropped in November, but I’ve been enjoying it quite a bit the last couple months. I’ve been playing a bit of Christmas music, and this is the album on the rotation. I wrote a full length review of this, so if you want to see what I thought of that album in more detail, check that out, but I do really enjoy this album, nonetheless.

6: Colter Wall - Little Songs

One of my other favorite country albums this year was the new Colter Wall record, Little Songs. Another nostalgic sounding album, this one worked more so for me, because of its lyrical content and Wall’s deep baritone. I absolutely love the sound of his voice, and how unique it is, but this record feels like it came right out of 1955 in all the best ways.

5: Beartooth - The Surface

Alright, top five time, and in that spot is Beartooth’s The Surfqce. An album that is both heavy and optimistic, I love this album and how it came out. I’ve been a fan of Beartooth for the last few years, and their last couple of albums where they’ve gone into more hard rock and pop sensibilities have worked wonders for me. This record is no exception, as it’s heavy and catchy. Hardy makes an appearance, too, and for as much flack as his last album got from a lot of online critics (the album, The Mockingbird & The Crow, isn’t thaaaaaat bad, but it’s fine), he does great here. This record is a whole lot of fun, though, and I’ve been playing it quite a lot throughout the year.

4: Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit - Weathervanes

Jason Isbell’s latest record is a behemoth of a record, as its lyricism is some of the best I’ve heard all year. Isbell’s vocals are the some of the best I’ve heard all year, too, but this record is some of the best Americana, country, and heartland-rock I’ve heard all year, too. This record gives every band member a chance to breathe, but every song is potentially the best song on the record. This album isn’t as higher, only because the top three on my list are more so personal for me, whereas this isn’t a personal one for me, although a lot of stuff on this record is very poignant and insightful. A lot of very relevant topics are brought up here, including addiction, abortion, school shootings, and racism, but it’s done so in an interesting way.

3: Zach Bryan - S/T

My top three this year were no contest. Zach Bryan’s self-titled is an album that caught me by surprise; this record is such a personal yet insightful look at someone’s mental and emotional state, but this record is wonderful. It’s a bit long, clocking in at around an hour, and a few songs feel like filler, but for the most part, this record is gorgeous. Bryan’s voice is utterly fantastic, and his lyricism is unmatched. These songs are some of the best of his career, too, and I’m so glad that a few of these songs were hits, even if they ended up being minor hits.

2: Metallica - 72 Seasons

For my top two albums of the year, these are albums that mean a lot to me, because of the bands that put them out and what they represent. The first one is Metallica’s new album, and their first in seven years, 72 Seasons, but this record is important to me because Metallica is the first metal band I ever got into a decade ago this year. I’ve been able to experience two Metallica albums live since they came out, this being one of them, and I’m also a lot older now. This is a great example of album where the band can do whatever they want, and they really do that by taking on multiple styles in this record. Metallica is the biggest metal band, if not the biggest band period, in the world, so they can truly do whatever they want.

1: Fall Out Boy - So Much (For) Stardust

This was a no-brainer — my album of the year is Fall Out Boy’s latest. They’re not only my favorite band, but they really hold a special place in my heart. This record is a long time coming, too; this is their first album in five years, and they went back to basics with So Much (For) Stardust, ultimately looking back to the past but also thinking forward. I don’t want to talk about this record too much, as I wrote extensively about it when it came out, and since then, but this record is a monumental one. It’s good to have Fall Out Boy back, especially with this new album.

Cheers to 2023, folks, let’s see what 2024 brings.

[tomboyjessie13-artblog]

Sorry for the lack of drawings, this was supposed to be done a few weeks ago, but as usually I got distracted by the internet and personal drama, as well as writing a long post about the characters.

That being said, I made a series of drawings of my Jojo OC Medea interacting with the Crusaders since there isn’t a lot of them(except as Incorrect Quotes), and as some of you can guess, this takes place during the “Battle of Egypt” arc since she wasn't their ally until then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jean Pierre Polanreff

- Relationship: Sibling bond - She nicknames him "Frenchie" - Shares a single brain cell with him

- He and Medea actually do get along well as he used to serve(brainwashed) DIO and was dismayed over him "betraying" their Lord, he's a bit more forgiving and patient with her since he knows that DIO's just using her, he does have his breaking points though.

Despite being enemies, she has no problem bonding with him over their enjoyment of Western cartoons such as "Tom and Jerry" and "Looney Toons" during their stay at a Luxor hotel.

Even though he got his revenge, he's still haunted by his late-sister losing her purity and life, and was horrified when he found out that DIO is doing the same to Medea, thus starts fighting tooth and nail to make sure she lives.

She later apologized to Polnareff for treating him like crap when she returns to Cairo with Kakyoin, and thanked him for killing J. Geil as he was horrible towards women, she fights alongside Polnareff and Iggy against Vanilla Ice.

Polanreff became her best man at her's and Keiji's wedding in 1994 and was ecstatic to see her baby girl Noriko, it was the last time she saw him alive. Medea asked Jotaro where he had gone during their drive to S-City, but even he doesn't know where Polnareff is either.

Medea later grieved for him when she found out what became of him during his pursuit for Diavolo and the stand arrows in "Golden Wind".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jotaro Kujo

- Relationship: Enemies to friends - Calls him "Jojo" just to make fun of him as she thought it was a dumb nickname - Battle of the sexist jerks; broken hearted Misandrist vs punk ass Misogynist

- She first assumed that Jotaro was an adult due to his large stature and mature features, only to get caught completely off guard when she realizes that he's actually a 17-year-old highschooler.

Jotaro does the "YAKAMASHI!" and "annoying bitch" schtick when she started doing her villainous monologuing, she asked if he kissed his mother with that mouth, that comment resulted in her ass getting kicked and losing two left molars.

Jotaro was the one who turned her into their mole when they came to Egypt, he kept foiling her murder attempts during the whole true trip. Despite all that, he was furious when he found out that DIO tried to kill her in a similar fashion to Enyaba, wanting to beat the shit of of him right now for it.

After returning to Cairo with Kakyoin, their relationship improved for the better as they no longer fought with each other. Before "DIO's World", Jotaro thanked her for being one of the few women in his life to not squeal at him for being "handsome".

After DIO's defeat, she goes with him and Joseph to Japan and hasn't left since. The two became parent figures to the kids of Morioh during "Diamond is Unbreakable", despite being on good terms now, she can't help but ruffle Jotaro's feathers just for the fun of it.

At some point, he reprimand her for being too distant from her daughter, only to get called out on it as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joseph Joestar

- Relationship: Complicated - Medea slut shames him to high heaven - Joseph had a BSoD moment when he heard Medea gush about the Pillar Men

- She chases him all across Asia for weeks just to get her revenge for "driving away Jason" from her and offer his blood to DIO, fails each time. At some point Joseph told her the reason why they're going after DIO, which throws her off completely as DIO never told her about Holy Kujo.

Despite that, she still chases the Crusaders after DIO gave her one last chance to redeem herself, which pisses off Joseph even more.

After she became their mole in Egypt, he forces her to wear his old breathing mask as a trust bargain as well as keep her under tight ropes, he even rigged it with Hamon so that whenever she removes it, she'll get electrocuted by overdrive(same rules apply to her Stand to).

When she bribed Alessi to age down Joseph, she wasn't expecting him to turn into his younger and sexier self(circa Part 2) and became smitten. Joseph has NEVER let her live it down since then.

It took him an hour to save Medea's life from DIO's blood poisoning thanks to his Hamon. This selfless act made her realize that Joseph, despite his flaws, is willing to help others good and bad, no longer wanting revenge against him. 

She would however eventually have the last laugh when she found out that he was sent to the dog house after his affair got exposed in 1999, she also believed that he's faking his senility just to get his "get out of jail free" card.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Muhammad Avdol

- Relationship: Enemies to friends - She was the reason why DIO found him at the Khan el Khalili - He was shocked when he realized that Medea isn't a Tarot Stand user

- After Cameo was defeated, she was shocked to learn that Avdol is alive and well, with him scolding her for harassing the Crusaders despite getting her revenge against Jason, she fled back to Egypt afterwards, having his arrival killing her mood and not wishing to get BBQ'​​​​​​​d by [Magician's Red].

At Aswan, when she tries to kill him at the Hospital, Avdol sought out her weakness and told Jotaro to exploit it. While not happy with her murderous plans, he's a lot more patient with her than Polnareff is due to knowing that DIO brainwashed her. 

During their trip to Cairo, he was actually pleased when he saw that Medea took an interest in his culture's myths and legends and they ended up talking more over it, even letting slip about the Glory God's Stands and which god they represent.

When she realized what happened, she blamed him for tricking her, which isn't true but he joked about it anyways.

He was the first one to discover that Medea's welts were Vampire bites thanks to Joseph's warning about Vampires and drove her to the hospital. Despite losing their mole, Avdol believed that her health is one of their highest priorities.

When she came back to Cairo, he was happy to know that she's all better. During "DIO's World", she called him crazy when he wanted to burn down the manor due to their friends being inside, she witnessed Vanilla Ice killing him afterwards, traumatizing her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Iggy

- Relationship: Enemies to friends - She compares him to her late pet Boston Terrier "Ozzy" - Iggy enjoys messing with her just as how he messes with Polnareff

- She thought that he was a normal dog at first before discovering that he's a Tarot Stand user represented by "The Fool" and instantly regrets it.

She got farted on when he smelled her body oder and called him a "jerk mutt" for that, he also raided her backpack and stole her clothes and sandwiches that she packed for herself, and he kicked her into the Nile river when she tried to attack him.

When Medea got hospitalized for Blood poisoning, Iggy smelled DIO's odor coming off of her welts which scared him into defending himself as he can naturally smell evil like most dogs do, he used [The Fool] to recreate DIO's likeness from that scent alone to show the Crusaders what he smelled, which is how Joseph was able to save her and how Iggy was able to recreate DIO during the Vanilla Ice fight.

Iggy started warming up to Medea after she returned to Cairo as he finally understood the pain she gained from DIO after his encounter with Pet Shop, but he wouldn't admit it, she and Iggy chilled out while everyone was having their last supper together. 

She mourned his death and petted his corpse, and calling him a "good boy" for saving her's and Polnareff's lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Noriaki Kakyoin

- Relationship: Reconciled friendship - She nicknames him "Cherry boy" - She learned about Morioh because of him

- He was one of the few Agents that she actually became close friends with without hang ups, so Medea was very hurt when he "betrayed" DIO because of the Crusaders.

She tried convincing him to leave them and return to Egypt with her, when he refused, she just went: "...Fine! Die with those bastards then!" in grief induced anger. Kakyoin tried reasoning with her before she began harassing them throughout the journey.

They reconciled when she was hospitalized and they started bonding over their first encounters with DIO, as well as having no real friends until they met the Crusaders.

She kept Kakyoin's Walkman that he left behind at the mansion and used it to listen to his music and learned some Japanese, at some point she bought herself a "Pat Metheny Group" album for it and became attached to "Last Train Home", Medea eventually gave it back to him during their train ride to Cairo.

She cradled his body and grieved for him when DIO murdered him in cold blood. After DIO's defeat, she cried over his retrieved corpse and thanked him for everything he's done for her and the Crusaders.

She kept his cherry earrings as a memento to remember him by. In 1993, she originally planned on naming her future son "Noriaki" when she was pregnant, but ended up getting a daughter instead, whom she names "Noriko".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Medea King belongs to me *And yes, I threw in a Family Guy death pose

[adultswim2021]

Xavier: Renegade Angel #17: “Going Normal” | March 27, 2009 - 12:15AM | S02E07

In “Going Normal”, Xavier happens upon a cryogenics lab. He mistakes the frozen bozos for unwilling captives and thaws them. Being thawed causes many of them to die within seconds because they were sick and waiting for science to cure them. One of them vows to spend his limited time left alive to get revenge on Xavier.

This causes Xavier to flashback to him making his own vow, to dedicate himself to helping others. So disturbed by the lack of gratitude he’s gotten from these room-temp deadbeats, he decides to give up his mission to help people by "going normal." He does this by stealing one of the guy’s faces and wearing it like a murder mask. He also covers his snake hand with a normal human one and puts on a suit so he can join society as a simple businessman. He keeps failing to not stick out because every time he makes a mundane statement his boss takes a wild leap to interpret it at some wild outside-the-box idea that winds up making the company more profits. He does it so often that he eventually plainly states that it's what he's doing, essentially making my very smart observation for me.

Eventually, Xavier needs to get an apartment, but finds one that’s for women only. He disguises himself as a woman to get the apartment and befriends the other women there. They have a plan to disguise as men to infiltrate the Men’s Only Club Club. That club has a plan to disguise themselves as big old black women. Finally, Xavier is forced to suffer the indignity of dressing up in a mascot costume made to look like his true self. This is thanks to a shadowy figure behind the scenes pulling various strings. Could it be the revenge guy from earlier? Yes. It is.

This one is pretty funny, with some great rude jokes. There are at least two actual slurs in this (nice). This one is simultaneously doing social commentary (we all wear masks, do we not? Ah, but of course!) as well as some good-old-fashioned mocking sitcom tropes; the boss taking wild leaps from a nervous subordinate is pulled straight out of Bewitched, among other places. And Xavier’s whole drag routine is straight out of Bosom Buddies. 

The ending of this one involves a hot dog chain being lassoed around the moon, which causes the Earth to stop spinning and endure “moonular freezing”. When the ice comes, the camera lens itself eventually becomes covered in ice. What is this, Robert Altman’s Quintet?

MAIL BAG

The woman with the bouncing bub-bubs was Angelique Bates of All That season 1 & 2 fame. She was Kenan's co-host in the Cooking With Randy & Mandy series of sketches. She was probably in other sketches but I don't remember 'em. I should have sent this mail earlier. I have failed.

Again, another wonderful fact I could have maybe come within spitting distance of if I bothered to check the IMDB page for the dang episode I watched. But this blog is more about me finding ways to make references to Robert Altman's Quintet, if I'm being honest.

[dancing-coyote]

FROM THE DETAILED OC ASK MEME:

8 & 22 & 50 for Grace

18 & 27 & 34 for (any) Nate

54 & 52 for Jeannie

Grace:

8. Weapon of Choice(?)

A good old-fashioned MA5, the standard issue rifle for every Helljumper.

22. Fave Color

Rust red, olive green, or navy blue.

50. What are some motifs associated with your character?

Nate (we'll go with Halo!verse this time):

18. Have any special keepsakes?

Nate has SO MANY little things squirrelled away that remind her of places she's been and people she's met, but her most notable one is the bright red jean jacket that her Favorite Brother Takehiko bought for her before he left to work for ONI. She wears it EVERYWHERE.

27. What’s their family like? Who’s in it? What’s their relationship with them?

Nate's family consists of her, her mother Katrin, her father Iro, and her three half-brothers Saitou, Jiro, and Takehiko.

Her mother treats her like an inconvenience at best, and Nate openly dislikes her; her father loves her, but he's rarely home and he defers to Katrin when it comes to raising Natalia; and her half-brothers are all significantly older than she is, so she's not particularly close to any of them except for Takehiko (who, at twelve years older than her, is the closest to her in age.)

34. What’s their room look like right now?

Her room is impeccably neat (shockingly enough.)

Her hidey-hole, on the other hand...

Jeannie:

52. How are you and your character the same? How are you different?

I can't say I have much in common with Jeannie, beyond a love for winter and the woods :') She's a six-foot-tall prototype supersoldier who slipped her leash and ran away to be adopted into a family of giant space murder lizards, and I am decidedly... not XD

54. What does your character want, and what do they need?

Jeannie wants revenge (on ONI, on the UNSC, on Kurt, on all the people who hurt her...)

But she needs stability, support, and love.

[trailofstardust]

I've got an idea for a story that I want to talk about here, and I would love to get some opinions and input so I can expand my idea. The basic plot is that there are two teenagers with tragic pasts and supernatural powers who have been found and held in custody by a secret organization dedicated to studying and protecting the public from supernatural threats, similar to the BPRD in Hellboy or the SCP foundation. The main antagonist is a CEO who wants to exploit these kids for his personal ends, seeking to use their powers to gain world-domination.As of now, the two protagonists have yet to be named, and I would like some suggestions.

The main protagonist is a 15-year old boy grew up in a doomsday cult that abused and groomed him into their beliefs. At the age of ten he abducted and murdered a young child.

Shortly after, the cult tried sacrificing him to an eldritch abomination to bring about the end times, but before they could kill him, the deity possessed him and killed all the cultists. After coming to his senses he flees the scene and starts wandering the streets.The authorities have started investigating the murder he committed and soon enough, he is identified by the police. A secret organization for studying and protecting the public from the supernatural found him first and took custody of him. While the public believes that he is being held at an institution for juvenile offenders, in reality he is kept inside the headquarters of the organization, kept in a cell and studied by the scientists. Later on during the story, it turns out that he is a potential herald of the apocalypse, and the fate of the world rests in his hands. If he would ever lose control and fall into despair the eldritch god inside him could break free and devour the entire planet.

Another protagonist is a 16 year old girl with telepathic powers. She was sexually abused at an early age by her father, and when her mother found out she reacted by physically abusing and victim-blaming her. Her mother divorced, took custody of her and moved away to a small town. There, the mother turned to religion and became a religious fanatic, seeing practically everything as sinful. As well as being abused by her mother, the girl was also viciously bullied at school. One day, after a particularly horrible prank she discovered that she has telepathic powers, being able to read and control minds. She enacted her revenge by murdering her bullies and the teachers who did nothing to stop the bullying, as well as some students she blames for not intervening, using her powers to mind-control them into committing suicide. Her victims were hanged, set on fire, jumped off buildings and stabbed.She turned her mother into a vegetable and brainwashed a good portion of her high school-students and staff-into becoming her slaves, and turned the gym into her personal throne-room.

Having been denied many comforts by her fundamentalist mother who saw practically everything not related to the bible as "sinful", once she left her control she indulged in everything previously forbidden-such as sweets, nice clothes and boys. She has a liking for gothic lolita fashion. She was eventually discovered by the organization. Using technology that weaken her powers to make her easier to contain, she has been placed under supervision.

A scientist named dr Helen Fields becomes a mother-figure to these children, treating them with understanding and compassion.

My inspiration for this story was reading about real-life stories of children and teenagers who have committed murder, and felt fascinated both by their motivations as well as how the world reacts to them. Despite being children some people have called them "monsters" and even called for their deaths, which I found grotesquely unjust and wrong.

In-story, the outside world largely believes that the kids are irredeemably evil monsters. Knowing this only adds to the male protagonist's despair-the belief that no matter what he does, he can and will never be seen as anything other than a monster. Characters like Helen who treat him with sympathy and understanding are literally the buffer against the apocalypse.

One point I want to make inside the story is that even though the protagonists have committed horrific crimes, they are still children and thus vulnerable-the villain will use their insecurities to manipulate them-and that they should be treated as traumatized kids in need of help, not monsters or criminals, nor should they be expected to spend their lives grovelling and making up for their crimes, since they already had their own lives destroyed long before they did anything wrong.

[marjaystuff]

Interview with Valerie Burns

Murder is A Piece of Cake by Valerie Burns is the second book in the “Baker Street” Cozy Mystery Series. As with all her books dogs play an important role and the characters are very well developed. 

The first book in the series, Two Parts Sugar, One Part Murder, has Maddy Montgomery inheriting from her great Aunt Octavia the “Baby Cakes Bakery” and a 250-pound English Mastiff, named Baby. The will stipulates Maddy must keep the bakery afloat for a certain amount of time to receive her inheritance, and to keep Baby safe and sound. 

This plot has Maddy in a lot of trouble when a multi-millionaire CJ Davenport comes to town to seek revenge on Maddy’s best friend, police chief April.  He decides the best way to get to April is by destroying her friends.  He chooses to open a bakery directly across from Maddy’s to put her out of business. But things go from bad to worse when Davenport is murdered in the Baby Cakes Bakery with both April and Maddy as the prime suspects. Now Maddy and her friends, known as the “Baker Street Irregulars,” must find the true killer to clear Maddy and April. 

This series is a delight.  It has great characters including Baby.  The author always seems to key in on why people love dogs so much.  She involves in her plots humor, a tinge of romance, and a who done it mystery that keeps people turning the pages.

Elise Cooper:  You always write stories with dogs?

Valerie Burns:  I have two poodles. “The Mystery Bookshop Series” has two poodles. The “Dog Club Mystery Series” also had poodles, but this series has ended.  In this “Baker Mystery Series”, the dogs are not poodles but English Mastiffs. 

EC:  How come you went from poodles to English Mastiffs?

VB: I love dogs and would love to experience different breeds. I was speaking with a co-worker who had this breed. They were talking about how they are large and drool.  I thought it would be nice to experience the breed without totally experiencing it, without owning a 250-pound English Mastiff.  I researched the breed, and my co-worker told me things their dog did, to help me with the dog storyline. 

EC: How did you get the idea for the series, centering it around a bakery?

VB:  During Covid I watched a lot of cooking shows and compared them to the cooking shows I watched before Covid. There were a lot of differences in the camera angles and hilarious outtakes.  I was inspired by that to write a culinary cozy mystery. The main character owns a bakery but does not know how to bake.  She inherited it from her great Aunt.  I put in recipes at the end of the book.  Some of them came from friends, and some I used and adapted over years, including the Peanut Butter Cookie and the Chocolate Cake recipe at the end of this book.

EC:  Why the military angle?

VB:  I am not sure.  I did have Maddy, the main character’s father, as an Admiral in the Navy. Her love interest, Michael served in the Army. I also had fun with the nicknames.  Michael called her “Squid,” “Swabbie,” while she called him “Grunt,” “Dumb Joe.” I have friends in the military and asked them for advice.  This is where I got the names. It is all in good humor. Also, I liked that Maddy can ask herself in certain situations what would her Admiral father do. 

EC:  How would you describe Maddy?

VB:  She is old fashion and loves social media. She is indecisive, the opposite of her father who must make life/death decisions. This provided a certain amount of tension. She likes to talk a lot, avoids conflict, bold, determined, compulsive, impulsive, smart, funny, and can be insecure. I hoped readers see her development from the first in the series, Two Parts Sugar, One Part Murder to this book.  In this book she is learning to trust herself more, bolder, and is less insecure. 

EC:  Why make Maddie a suspect in the murder? VB:  I wanted her close to the investigation and to have a strong motive to find the killer. She is willing to engage to find the truth.

EC:  How would you describe Michael?

VB:  Even-handed, kind, supportive, and protective. Just as those in the military it takes a certain type of person to put themselves on the line, and this is Michael. He makes sacrifices, to run into dangerous situations.  I see him as a traditional knight in shining armor who is bright, honest, and courageous. He takes care of his grandmother, Hannah, who has dementia.  This really shows his character, kindness, and how he is willing to sacrifice his own life. 

EC:  Is the “Master Criminal” and overriding arc in the series?

VB: Yes.  I wanted to do something different in this series. It will be carried across multiple books in the series but will be wrapped up in the next book.  I stretched myself as a writer.

EC: How would you describe the bad guy, Clayton?

VB:  Evil, shady, cruel, vengeful, abusive, and mean. 

EC:  What about your next books?

VB:  The next book in this series will be titled, Another Slice of Murder, out this time next year. Readers will meet the Admiral who will be a part of the murder investigation and find out who killed Maddy’s Great Aunt Octavia.

Book 9 in the “Mystery Bookshop Series” is titled Murder on Tour.  The main character, Samantha, has her first book released.  On her book tour there is a murder.

I also have a new series coming out this December.  It will involve Bailey the Bloodhound, another mystery series, and is titled, Sniffing Out Murder. An elementary school teacher, Priscilla, has written children’s books featuring her dog Bailey, a detective. In her hometown Bailey finds a “real” body who was murdered.

THANK YOU!!

[descendantofthesparrow]

encore- Harry Hook x reader - taking care of business - part 15

two story parts in one day?!?! am i being....productive?!?!

--warning!!! Talk of rape and sexualizing a minor, beginning and end of the scene will be marked with bold words!---

 @musicarose​

=

Harry woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a note from you, he yawned and clumsily grabbed the note, rubbing his eyes as he read your hurried scrawl.

-going to auradon for a bit, taking care of things be back soon, love you

- love, (nickname that harry gives you)

Harry smiled softly and fell back onto the bed, yawning once more and rolling over, hugging your pillow to his chest.

=

You sighed, pulling your hair into a ponytail, smirking as you caught your reflection in the mirror.

(y/n), the war chief of the lost revenge, the one who took care of Captain Hook. You wore your long red coat, the ripped grey shirt, ripped black pants, scuffed boots, fingerless gloves, skull studded belt, and your multiple rings.

You took your sheath and swung it over your head, setting on your (non-dominant) shoulder and sliding your cutlass into the sheath.

“alright” you muttered with a smirk, flipping your hat onto your head. “les do this”

=

You felt your lip twitch as you stared down at the disgusting gang of older men. All talking smack about harry.

--warning! Talk of rape and sexualizing someone half their age!--

-----

----

----last warning!---

“hehehe, you think his ass is tight after all these years?”

“ohohohh I bet it is, god what would I give to get my hands on him”

“Remember when he would cry? Oooh that would make me shiver~”

“ha! I remember the blood on my dick from when I popped his cherry!”

One of the disgusting man whipped the beer off his chin, a large grin on his face “I saw him yesterday, still, as yummy as when I last had ‘im, too bad the king was around, I would have gone after him and givin him a treat~”

“its also too bad that that war chief of Umas is around him all the time too, shes a scary one”

“thank you for the compliment~” the men screamed, looking up, catching your glinting sword.

“how-how you get-“ the lights shut off, the men screaming again as you disappeared.

“pigs like you don’t deserve to live”

“W-WAIT WERE SORRY WE WONT-AHHHHGGGH”

----end of the scene! Made it quick---

----

----

-you may continue reading!-

Uma tapped her fingers on her arm, staring ahead as she listens to the bloodcurdling screams of the gang.

You walked out 10 minutes later, scraping the blood off your sword on the wall. “thanks for the assist captain” you smiled at her, she grinned back and snapped her fingers. The blood disappearing from your clothes and skin.

“no prob, no one talks about harry that way” you laughed and fist-bumped her.

“true that!”

“come on, I need to check up on other things” you nodded and dutifully followed her, sheathing your sword and glancing around, smiling as you saw flowers and natural grass beginning to grow around you.

“seems the isle is becoming healthy” you spoke up, grinning as Uma nodded.

“yep, its finally getting sun and rain for the first time in 22 years” Uma was proud, knowing she was apart of the reason that it was happening.

Ben appeared around the corner, his face pale and his hands clenching onto his phone. “did you hear the screams?!”

You and Uma glanced at each other quickly before nodding “yeah, it was just one of the bands here playing one of those horror movies screams with their music”

Ben scrunched his face up confused “bands wha-?”

You chucked and patted his shoulder as you walked past him “you still have much to learn about the isles way young padawon~” Uma smirked and followed you.

“there's a couple of bands here, but they’re notoriously bad” she laughed, gesturing for Ben to follow the two of you.

“oh….alright but they sounded pretty real” Ben muttered nervously, glancing behind him to the warehouse where you had found the gang.

“they usually do” you laughed, walking into the tunnel connecting the warf to the main Isle.

You sighed, smiling as the rotting fish smell had long since disappeared and was replaced with the saltwater of the ocean.

“captain, (y/n)!” the crew yelled, most of them chilling on the rails while the others were having a sword fight.

Bonnie leaned back, grinning widely, pointing her thumb at the deck “Gonzo and Desiree are fighting who you bettin’ on!”

“DESIREE!” you yelled back, walking down the deck and  up the gangplank “20 bucks!” Desiree grinned, spinning away from gonzo.

“won't steer ya wrong chief!” she cheered, parrying another attack from gonzo, he pouted and kept trying to get a solid strike on her, but she was small and fast, so it was hard.

Uma grinned “go Desiree!” gonzo turned to look at Uma quickly, a horrified look on his face.

“capt’in!?! But- ah!” Desiree flipped him on his back and stood on his chest, grinning down at him.

“I win~”

The ones who bet on Desiree cheered, you hollered and cackled as Bonnie chucked a wad of $20 at you. “thank you~” you cooed, stuffing it in your pocket.

Just enough to get Harry some cold stone!

=

When you arrived back in your world, Harry was still asleep, so you took off your hat and sheath and walked out to your car, humming to the Hamilton soundtrack as you drove to Coldstone.

Arriving at the ice cream shop you hopped out of your car and walked in, smiling as there was no line.

“Hello! I'll have a gotta have it birthday cake remix and a love it (fav thing at cold stone)” the worker smiled and nodded, getting to work on your order.

“I love your outfit by the way!” they complimented you, scoping out the cake batter ice cream.

“thank you! I like your headscarf!” she blushed and thanked you, asking you if the ice cream was to go “yep, thank you”

She capped the ice cream and started on yours.

You walked out of the shop minutes later and unlocked your car, placing the bag in the passenger seat and driving back home.

You unlocked the front door and smiled as you saw harry sitting on the couch, watching the last Jedi.

“liking it so far?” Harry jumped slightly, breathing a sigh of relief as he realized it was just you.

“aye, I like the kylo r-……uhhh” Harry's jaw dropped as he caught sight of you, it had been so long since he had seen you in all your pirate gear.

You laughed and did a little spin “you like? Felt appropriate for what I had to do in Auradon.”

“u-um” he coughed into his hands, shifting in his seat slightly “y-yeah, looks good on yeh” you mentally did a fist pump as you could tell he was a little hot and bothered.

(for you smut lovers I might do an a03 exclusive smut chapter? But yall gotta ask for it~~~)

“thank you~ I got ice cream by the way!” harry perked up, making grabby hands at the bag he finally noticed.

“thank you thank you now gimmie!” you snorted and opened the back, handing him the large cup of ice cream.

“your welcome, don’t get it on the couch.”

You plopped next to him and (sipped ate) at your dessert, grinning as harry muttered that he wanted a lightsaber.

Now you knew what to get him for his birthday~

--end of part 15--

@queer-cosette​

@sephiralorange​

@lunanight2012​

@daughter-of-the-stars11​

@amorathegamingkitsune​

@random-thoughts-003​

[ac3id]

“watch and learn,” | 18+

pairings: incel sakusa x fem!reader x ushijima

summary: sakusa gets tired of watching you take advantage of his friend, so he takes matters into his own hands to teach you a lesson. fortunately for him, ushijima feels the same

warnings: noncon, humiliation, voyeurism, anal, hate fucking. 

a/n: this was high-key inspired by @vermiliren​ ‘s sakusa and ushijima concepts,,, love you <3

wordcount.: 4k+

tagging: @minitaureland, @oikawoahh, @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa, @sunshine-fangs​ 

dm to be added/ removed!

Sakusa has a problem.

Well, Sakusa has many problems, but this one in particular manages to drive him crazy.

It makes his blood boil and his cock hard, it’s an irritating itch he just can’t scratch which makes him absolutely mad.

One could say such a problem must be nerve-wracking; something which keeps you up all night wondering how you can overcome it. Maybe it’s family, maybe it’s financial. It must be a big deal, right? But luckily for Sakusa, it’s just you.

His problem is you, his teammate’s girlfriend.

It’s weird. Technically, there should be no reason for him to think of his teammate’s girlfriend as anything but just as another girl but his heart tells him another story.

Whenever he thinks of you, he either imagines punching your beautiful face until it’s stained with wine red blood or shoving his cock down all of your holes which he hears you cry in agony. He imagines filling you up with his cum, clearing you of all your filth. There’s really no in-between, but sometimes he imagines doing it both...in the same order.

But hey! Sakusa is a good guy, he would never do such a thing! He respects women and most certainly he respects you. He obviously doesn’t think you’re a whore or anything for talking to a guy who isn’t your boyfriend, Ushijima. But gosh, even you notch it up a lot.

He rarely ever sees you, only when you arrive at bars uninvited with Ushijima or when you come down to the volleyball tournaments for Ushijima or when you wait for Ushijima while he practices in the stadium or….. When you go down to the grocery store where he just happens to be….multiple times.

Maybe you’re getting food for Ushijima, but he’s sure his teammate’s not going to eat half the junk you buy. Ushijima has a body to maintain, his health is very important to him. All of that fast food is not going to work him any favors.

Don’t you cook for him? You know, like a woman should?

You see, Sakusa is a little old fashioned. He likes tradition and sincerely pesters everyone to follow it. So it’s not a big surprise when he expects the same from you or any female in general. In the past, he’s been called an incel; a man who hates women was it? But that’s definitely not him. He loves them. Especially when they are naked on his computer screen, getting pinned down by a man two sizes bigger than themselves.

Sometimes he imagines you and Ushijma in their place and way more often, he imagines him with you over there instead.

So, see? He doesn’t women. He loves them! But… some women get on his nerves.

Some women like you.

He would never admit this, but Sakusa follows you around only because he does not trust you for Ushijima. Even when Ushi’s around, you flirt with other men while he’s sitting right next to you with his arms wrapped around your shoulder. It gets worse when he is away.

He can always hear you make suggestive comments to the cute cashier in the store while he lurks away. He’s disgusted. He can’t understand why Ushijima still chooses to stay with you.

He’s dating a whore, you don’t care about him- you’re just having your fun. You’ll leave him once it gets over, you don’t like him. But you still have him entranced, so madly in love with you. Sukasa think-no, he knows it’s only because you’re good in bed. There’s no other reason for him to keep you around for so long, being a slut you probably know how to make a man feel good.

Sakusa understands that but it still bothers him. Like a good friend he is, he decides to tell Ushijima about you. It starts in the locker room after practice. Both of them stand together changing out of their sports gear, it was a tiring day, and the two men were tired. He’s surprised when Ushijima starts the conversation, midday through changing his shirt, he starts.

“So, what do you think of her?” Sakusa knows who he is talking about, you had come into the stadium that day to watch Ushijima practice, and he had spent the better half of his time glaring daggers and staring at you. Sakusa says your name cluelessly, “Yes, her.” Ushijima replies.

Sakusa clicks his tongue, “I think-” “Cut the bullshit, you’re fucking her aren’t you?”

Ushijima turns to him, his eyes dark and fatal. A frown rests on his face with his fists balled as if to throw a punch. Sakusa panics, not understanding why such an accusation could fall over his head.

“No- I- that’s not true!” he clarifies but Ushijima looks unmoved, “Then why the fuck do you keep looking at her?” the murderous glint in his eyes doesn’t disappear as he just gets angrier. A newfound fear forms within Sakusa, he had always respected Ushijima as a player and a man, he sure as hell didn’t want to start a fight with the green-haired man. He spills everything he knows, everything he’s seen.

The night when he spotted you kissing Atsumu, the relentless flirting, everything. It’s brutal, it breaks Ushijima’s heart but a necessary evil. He watches Ushijima’s spirit break when his eyes turn blank. He stares motionlessly on the floor, thinking. Sakusa feels the rage return, he’s so mad at you- how could you do this to anyone? All of you are the same, all women are the same but….but you are the worst!

Sakusa waits for a moment before speaking, “You can’t let her get away with this,” he starts. Ushijima looks up at him, listening diligently to his plan. “You should take revenge, don’t let her get away with this.” Revenge?

Ushijima’s eyes lit up at the word, many thoughts came into his mind when Sakusa said it. Revenge? Should he also kiss any of your friends behind your back? Should he be cold towards you? The idea of making you realize just how much you hurt him by lettering you experience the pain excited him. He loved you, he did but sometimes drastic measures have to be taken. “What should I do?” he asked impatiently, he wanted to find a way to fix his deteriorating relationship.

Sakusa pauses, his mind racing back to the many porn clips he has fapped to before and settling on which the big boyfriend destroys his little girlfriend’s pussy for cheating on him. “I’ll send a video.”

Later that night Ushijima receives a link from Sakusa, titled ‘boyfriend punishes girlfriend for cheating.’

- 

“Wakatoshi?” you bask in confusion at the man standing next to your boyfriend at the front door. It was late at night and you were almost going to bed. Ushijima had texted you telling he’d be home late that night but you had managed to catch him just in time. You were not expecting his teammate to come along with him, though.

It was awkward, dressed only in some sleep shorts and Ushijima welcoming Sakusa in the house was weird. He never seemed to take his eyes off of you, you were genuinely creeped out. You let the two men talk in the living room while you headed to the kitchen to prepare them a little snack. They said they had already eaten but umm...hospitality? It was fine to both of them, they liked you better in the kitchen anyway.

“Have you tried a threesome before?” Sakusa asked, taking a seat. It was finally the day Ushijima was going to man up and teach you a lesson which you’d never forget. “No, I don’t like to share,” he replied. Sakusa nodded, “understandable.” they stood quiet for a second only for your humming to fill the room. Even though you were in the kitchen, your sweet melody still ringed till the other room. Ushijima threw Sakusa a knowing glance before he made his way to the kitchen to see you. Heading over next to you, he sized down your form.

Ushijima took a step forward, trapping you between the kitchen counter and his huge body. You bring your hands to his chest, keeping him at a distance from you and just feeling his warmth under your palms. You did this often, it wasn’t anything sexual. You just enjoyed feeling him under your fingertips.

“So, what’s his deal?” you ask, your voice low not to alert Sakusa sitting in the living room. It was late, very late. There was no reason for Ushijima to bring a friend over now, but if Sakusa needed a place to spend the night- that was a different story.

“He will go in sometime,” Ushijima answered back, his huge, warm palms caressing your cheeks. You lean into the touch as he looks down at you affectionately with pure innocent eyes until he can’t. The spell you have him under breaks and he remembers why Sakusa is here.

His thumb trails down to your lips, pushing against the soft and pillow-like features. You look at him in confusion, Surprised by his bold actions. Ushijima was a private person, seeing him act so suggestively while another man sat right in the next room shocked you...but you liked it.

You obediently open your mouth letting his digits enter your hot carven. A tingle of a dull, throbbing pull settles on your tongue as you frown. Looking up at Ushijima through your lashes, you watch him glare at you while he pinches your tongue between his two fingers.

You whine out, there was no lie that you like it rough but the unsettling expression on Ushijima's face frightened you.

“Do you remember the last time we went out for drinks with the team?” your eyes widened and your blood ran cold, you knew exactly what he was getting at. “Nod your fucking head, bitch.” his pinch grew tighter making you squeal harder and you hastily nodded. You heard footsteps ring as Sakusa appeared into the room. Turning your eyes to his immediately, asking him for assistance. You hope to see a reaction out of Sakusa, disgust at most- he’d tell you both to cut it out but Sakusa stood still with an unreadable expression. Was he not going to say anything?

Ushijima caught your attention back by pinching your tongue hard, once again. drool pooled in your mouth, slowly leaking past your lips. It was disgusting.

“That night, did you kiss Atsumu?”

He knew. This is why he was doing this, you could understand that, but why was Sakusa just watching?

Your gaze lowered to the floor and Ushijima let his fingers leave you, letting you talk. You kept your head down as you spoke. it was too heartbreaking, you knew you should have told Ushijima but for some reason you never did. you were sacred Ushijima would leave you.

“That night, Atsumu came onto me…. when you left me with him that day, he kissed me- I didn’t want him to..he just…” shaky breaths leave your lips as you recall the dreadful incident. Atsumu was drunk that night, he wasn’t thinking straight. He apologized to you sincerely the next day but the damage was done. you could still feel his uninvited touches roaming all over your body when he tried to grope you.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room. Ushijima turned to sakusa, the glare which was burning you now directed at him. Ushijima was furious at sakusa for accusing you but sakusa knew what he saw. he frowned at you, he remembers seeing you kissing the blonde back- you’re just lying now, trying to get out of this mess.

“She’s lying, I knew what I saw. don’t trust her,”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Who do you think you are?”

You scream at him with angry, glassy eyes immediately turning to Ushijima and begging him to not believe the dark-haired man. Sakusa watches you with calculating eyes, revising his next move. He knows he’s not going to let you go so easily, there’s only one reason he’s here tonight. And that’s to put a whore in her place, he’s not leaving until he gets a taste of you.

He starts again, “don’t listen to her, Ushijima. listen to me, I have no reason to lie to you I’m your friend.” He chooses his words carefully to manipulate Ushijima into siding with him.

Ushijima stares at you for a second before grabbing your wrist harshly, “it’ll be okay,” he whispers your name, pulling you along with him. you scream at him, trying to pull your hand out of his grasp as he thrusts your forward.

“Toshi’ stop. seriously, no. stop,” you cry and beg but he shows no mercy. He pulls you into your shared bedroom, throwing you on your shared bed. Sakusa quietly follows, locking the door behind him as he enters. “What should I do now?” Ushijima turns to sakusa who stands next to the door, his eyes run towards you and he watches you cowering on the bed. You curl yourself up, pushing your knees to your chest and burying your head in between. You sit at the edge of the bed, far away from the two men quiring in fear and dread. Sakusa had thought you’d be putting up more of a fight but seems like you knew your place. Besides there was no way you’d manage to win against the two giants, they’d crush you even before you can try.

“Do you not remember the video?” Sakusa asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket and opening a porn site. He clicks on the video he had forwarded to Ushijima, the video starts normally; a man talking to his supposed girlfriend but he skips the clip forward to the part he wants to see.

“You seriously want me to do that to her?” Ushijima asks, frowning at the screen. The porn actress is bent over the actor’s lap as he showers her bottom with powerful slaps. Blistering her ass and making her cry.

Sakusa nods. Ushijima looks bad at your quivering form before whispering, “like a child?”

Truth to be told, Sakusa knew Ushijima was a softie and that he cared about your feelings. That was the difference between him and the ace. He loved you and he loved you a little too much, you were the first thing swimming in his mind and it may be defined by some as romantic, Sakusa thought differently.

The thought disgusted him, caring so much about a mere woman; the man has to be crazy. Don’t get it wrong, Sakusa loves women so much he’s cornering you like this but he also firmly believes that women have duties. And by what he can see between you and Ushijima, you’re not fulfilling them at all and Ushijima is too much of a pussy to make you fix your mistakes.

He’s just helping his bro out. xx

Sakusa doesn’t answer him, instead, he looks at him with a fixed glare. Ushijima clicks his tongue, he didn’t want to hit his girlfriend like a child but he didn’t want to disrespect his friend either. He thinks for a moment before turning to you, making up his mind he chooses to spank you. A small smile of satisfaction crosses on Sakusa’s face as he watched Ushijima approach you.

His knee dips down on the bed as he moves forward to get you, “Toshi’ please, I will never, never talk to any guy ever again. You don’t need to do this.” you beg. Your eyes are glassy and your face is flushed from crying. You look up at your boyfriend with pleading eyes, hoping he’d listen to you. Ushijima stops in his tracks, hesitating to get you. He thinks about, maybe he should let you-

“Ushijima.”

Sakusa’s stern voice pulls him back to reality, he clicks his tongue and grabs you by your arm pulling you with him to the opposite edge of the bed. You keep crying and begging but Ushijima doesn’t bat an eye as he pulls you over his lap. He presses his hand against your back to keep you from running away while the other paws at your sleeping shorts.

“Stop screaming,” Sakusa commands, but you never listen to him. “Is this okay?” Ushijima flashes Sakusa a perfect view of your naked ass, your panties, and discarded on the floor. Sakusa walks over, standing in front of Ushijima, he leans in to grab a handful of your ass but Ushijima pushes his hand away. “No touching,” he commands.

As if they put salt on the wound, Ushijima moves along to fondle your ass. Playing with the soft flesh, squeezing them, spreading them all to his liking. A small smile grazes his face and for the first time, he realizes how much smaller you are compared to him. It makes him feel mighty, he loves the power he holds over you right now. The thoughts about what he can do to you flow straight to his cock. You feel his ever-growing bulge poke at your stomach under his pants.

Sakusa picks up your panties from the floor and right over in front of you, he grabs your face with his hands, squishing cheeks before shoving the panties into your mouth shutting you up once and for all. Ushijima throws him a glare but decides to ignore it eventually. His hands roam over your back one last time before he brings it up into the air and slams it down onto your round ass swiftly.

You cry out in pain, your bare ass stinging and burning. You hope for your boyfriend to calm down but he doesn’t give you a break, repeatedly hitting your ass with no sign of mercy. You cry and wither around, mumbling words that get muffled behind the gag making it impossible for any of them to understand.

Sakusa patiently watches the scene in front of him, you’re crying in pain while Ushijima spanks you. It’s kind of like the scenes he always fantasized about, the only difference being it’s him who’s raining down slaps on your naked ass instead of Ushijima.

“You’re doing it wrong.”

“What?”

Sakusa wants to touch you, he wants to feel you under him. He’s not going to let himself watch you both doing it all night while he stands at the side with a raging boner and besides, Ushijima wasn’t hitting you hard enough. He pauses, looking up at Sakusa and you sigh in relief.

“You’re hitting her hard enough, at this rate she’ll never fear you,” he taunts and you frown. Your ass was already painfully red and swollen, you couldn't imagine how much longer you’d last.

In a flash, Ushijima pulled you on your feet, holding you by your arm. “You do it. I’m not enjoying this,” Sakusa’s eyes light up and he holds his urge to smile, he does not want to out himself.

“Watch and learn,”

He quietly walks over and changes roles, you squirm in his grip shaking your head no. You did not want to left under Sakusa’s touch at all, you had a feeling he hated you- which he did. He pulled you over his thighs where you could feeling his raging boner hit your stomach and just like Ushijima he started slapping your ass swiftly faster and much harder than your boyfriend.

They come without any warnings one after the other. You feel yourself tapping out now and then but a swift, harsh pull to your hair did just fine in waking you back into the nightmare. After Sakusa was done with abusing your ass, he started rubbing and playing with you. He squeezed your cheeks making you wince, spreading it open staring at your pulsing hole. His fingers even slipped down lower, dangerously close to your cunt.

“Sakusa,” Ushijima’s heavy voice cut through and Sakusa immediately lifted his hands off you. He pushed you down on the bed and removed the panties he had stuffed into your mouth. You coughed, your throat hoarse and your body exhausted.

Your bottom was numb, you could not feel a thing and your body was on fire. Ushijima called out to you, caressing your cheek. “Are you okay?” Ushijima felt bad. In all honesty, he did not want to hurt you but hearing the things Sakusa had said to him about you and what you did when he was not around made him feel like a small man, a man with no pride. It bothered him so he listens to Sakusa. He seemed to know what he was doing but now he sat filled with regrets.

Sakusa slapped Ushijima’s hand away from your face, “She’s fine. We aren’t done yet.”

Sakusa pulled you closer to him and ripped your shirt off your body, squeezing your tits and rolling your hardened nipples between his fingers. Ushijima dragged you back to him, at this point both the men were using you like a rag doll, literally. “I’m fucking her pussy.” he declared. You whined as he made you sit down on the bed but quickly switched positions so that you were straddling his thigh. You could see the dent in his jeans propped up, begging to be released. “What? Am I supposed to take her ass? That’s gross.” “You can use her mouth too,”

That was even grosser, Sakusa wanted to fuck your pussy. No doubt he’d love to ruin your ass and your mouth but today he wanted your pussy. He opened his mouth to speak but was immediately speechless when he saw Ushijima making out with you. He kisses you so passionately, your lips molding together, his tongue going down your throat. For a moment it felt like he wasn’t going to rape you here and now. Hell, maybe you are even enjoying this.

He scoffs, unbuckling his belt he walks behind you, settling for your ass. He feels like a third wheel, watching Ushijima kiss you so lovingly; licking your neck and biting down your tits making you moan.

He lifts you, spreading your cheeks, presenting your gaping hole to Sakusa. “You can go first,” he offers. Your start squirming around once again trying to free yourself from him. “Please, Wakatoshi no it will hurt. Please don’t-” “Shut up, bitch” Sakusa comes behind you, his hands closing around your petit neck. He squeezes around the soft flesh, effectively shutting you up. Out of desperation, you look up at Ushijima with watery eyes only to see him glaring at Sakusa. He slaps away Sakusa’s hand away from your neck, “Careful, she’s not yours’ bro.” his voice is filled with sarcasm. Sakusa scoffs moving back, “is she yours though? Sucking up to every guy ever who gives her an ounce of attention? Hate break it to you but your girl’s a whore, dude.” Sakusa returns. Sitting in the room with a hard-on, they glare at each other. Co-operating with Ushijima was harder than Sakusa thought and Ushijima much more possessive than he seemed.

The longer he stared with Sakusa with murderous intentions, the more fragile his grip on you became. Once you spotted it was weak enough, you broke out of it made for a run.

‘Fuck!” Ushijima screamed and chased after you with Sakusa following. You don’t get far, they catch you in the corridor. Ushijima pushes you against the wall, his hand coming up to grab your jaw making you look at him. ‘One fucking thing [y/n]. I told you it’ll be over fucking soon, didn’t I?” he slaps your face once. “It’s all your fault anyway. If it weren’t for you whoring out there like a fucking slut you wouldn’t be in this situation.” he slaps you twice, ouch. You plead guilty, promising him you’d never do it again but after repeated denials, you change your request. You choke back sobs as you try to calm your uneven breathing, “You can do anything you want to me but...just not him, please.” you turn to Sakusa shaking like a leaf. You didn’t want that man to be near you, nevertheless, touch you.

Ushijima thinks for a moment, turning to Sakusa. He thinks long and hard before answering, “It will be okay.” he says before pushing you against Sakusa. He didn’t want to give you up but you know what they say...Bros before Hos. Sakusa catches you roughly and pins you against his chest. He wraps his arm around your waist, letting the other pulls his pants down and pull his throbbing cock out of his briefs. It stands tall, not as thick as Ushijima but he’s big. With the red tip leaking with pre, he gives it a pump.

“Hold her legs,” he commands. Ushijima walks up to the two of you with his huge cock out and leaking, he wastes no time in grabbing one of your legs and pushing it up.

He lines his tip with your dry hole, “that’s enough foreplay, now,” he slowly truths inside, breaching past your cute cunt, splitting you into two. A burning pain flashes through you, slowly getting replaced by pleasure. Your tight cunt sucks up around his cock, salivating as he hits deeper and deeper. Sakusa gets tired of watching as he pushes his tips past your rim making you scream out. The intrusion is weird and unfamiliar, the deeper he goes the more evident it becomes. Sakusa decides to show you some mercy when he flicks down your little clit, pulsing with need. All of a sudden you start withering with pleasure, completely forgetting about the compromising position you are in.

“Fuck.” Ushijima mutters, your moans a melody to his ears. “Fuckin whore likes this,” Sakusa wanted you to shut up, your moans were turning him off. Sakusa felt he was close. Your walls hugging him snuggly, trying to milk him for all he’s worth but he doesn’t want to give up yet. There's an unspoken competition between the two men; whoever can last longer and his pride won’t let him loose. He holds himself together for a little longer, hoping for Ushijima to come before him.

“Don’t cum inside,” the green-haired man commands. He is close, his thrusts hit sloppy and uneven. He bits down on your neck as he shoots his thick, white load into your womb cumming with a loud grunt. Sakusa follows soon after, his length twitching he pulls it out of you. He jerks his cock over and cums all over your back.

He lets go of you, and you fall onto Ushijima, your boyfriend's strong arms wrapping around you to steady you up. “You should leave,” he suggests. He pulls his dick back into his pants and walks to the door, throwing a glance behind his shoulder; he sees Ushi stripping out his shirt and dressing you with him. He scoffs and turns around, feeling disgusted he can’t wait to go back to his own home and take a fucking shower. Even though he finally gets what he had wanted, he can’t help but feel unsatisfied. It would have been much better if it was just him and you minus the possessive freak, maybe….he can come again when Ushijima is not around….What’s the worst which could possibly happen?

[rebelsofshield]

Star Wars Obi-Wan Kenobi: “Part Three”-Review

Obi-Wan Kenobi excels in character and payoff even as it continues to be a little rough around the edges.

Now burdened with the knowledge that his former apprentice, Anakin Skywalker, is alive, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Leia must somehow secure passage back to her homeworld of Alderaan. Meanwhile, the Inquisitorius ups their game as their master, Darth Vader, enters the hunt.

Back when Kathleen Kennedy first announced Obi-Wan Kenobi, she billed the series as a rematch. Somehow, someway Obi-Wan and Vader were going to cross blades again. This, of course, sent immediate waves through the fandom. As fun as the concept seemed, it was not clear just how this would be executed. Is there a story there? How do you execute this sort of plot idea without undermining one of the most classic Star Wars scenes of all time?

The end result mostly works and while the big showdown between Vader and Kenobi is going to drive most of the discussion about “Part Three” there is plenty else to discuss here.

We begin with a shaken Obi-Wan and Leia arriving on the mining world of Mapuzo. When their supposed contact doesn’t appear at the given coordinates, Obi-Wan despairs and we are once again reminded of the former Jedi’s growing cynicism. After spending a decade alone following a series of earth shattering betrayals, his faith in the goodness and reliability of others has all but evaporated. While Leia tests Obi-Wan’s hopelessness, the ever present danger of a galaxy ruled by the Empire are never far behind. It creates a consistent sense of paranoia and tension in the world around them but also between both of our leads as their differing perspectives on their environment and the people that populate it continue to undercut their decisions at every turn. The kindly alien Frek is actually a fascist, but the woman in the intimidating Imperial uniform is an agent of a Force Sensitive Underground Railroad. (And so is Quinlan Vos? Holy shit how is he doing?) Things aren’t ever as they seem and trust is sometimes necessary.

There is a potential connection there in the relationship between Obi-Wan and Darth Vader, two men who had as intimate a trust as two people could have but ten years ago tried to murder one another. While Obi-Wan sees glimpses of Anakin in the desert, Vader’s hurt is more literal and of the flesh. We open up with a montage of the assembly of his new cybernetic body and we linger on his scars and burns. When Vader finally does arrive on Mapuzo, Obi-Wan remarks on the dark, ugly transformation that has consumed his former brother.

Chow shoots Vader like a monster as he mercilessly slaughters civilians in some truly gruesome fashion. This is a man with no regard for mercy or loyalty. He’s animal rage and singular focus. But again, Obi-Wan doesn’t engage. He only fights his former apprentice as a way to distract him from Leia. And even then “fight” is a loose term. When initially confronted with Vader’s saber wielding silhouette, Obi-Wan turns tail and runs. When he is forced to finally fight back, his attempts are clumsy and floundering. It’s telling that Obi-Wan can still kick ass with a blaster as we see him dispatch with a platoon of stormtroopers like an old west gunslinger, but his traditional weapon, his tool from a more civilized age, feels foreign in his hands. Obi-Wan has lost himself in his hiding and despair but Vader meanwhile has been stewing in hate and a singular focus for years. It’s determination and hate versus sadness and uncertainty and the result is a trouncing. When Vader drags a disarmed Obi-Wan through burning coals, you can feel the murderous glee emanating from beneath his mask. This is the revenge he has been hoping for, the long torturous unmaking of his former brother.

There is however just something about the execution of it all that flounders. Even as the acting and writing by Joby Harold, Hannah Friedman, Hossein Amini, and Stuarte Beattie sell the emotional and thematic weight of their encounter, there are quite a few moments when this sequence, and elsewhere this episode, fall flat. Maybe it’s messy direction on Chow’s part, but I’m not inclined to assign blame to a director that has more than shown her abilities over the years. Regardless of the reason, there are just many moments in Obi-Wan Kenobi that are awkwardly realized and unfortunately they just seem to compound as the episode goes on. It may just be a simple matter of the series showing its budget. While The Mandalorian and especially The Book of Boba Fett definitely have moments when the Volume’s digital environments are more than noticeable, the artifice of Obi-Wan Kenobi almost always feels in danger of collapsing. The environments often feel desolate, the sets hollow and awkward, and the action choppy and amateurish. Even despite the drama and build up, Obi-Wan’s duel with Darth Vader at times cannot help but feel like two cosplayers filming a fan video in a quarry. This is not to say that Star Wars cannot be done on a smaller budget, but when these shows attempt to mimic the same grand scope of their cinematic counter parts, the results are often middling. When you don’t have the power of $200 million of special effects to clean up every shot, your creative decisions have to be much more purposeful and direct and so far Obi-Wan seems to be fumbling this more than one would hope.

It’s a shame because on so many levels Obi-Wan Kenobi is delivering on the promise of its premise. The acting is top notch, the writing is layered and actually interested in testing its characters, and it boasts a great original musical score. There are even moments when the direction does shine through! But just as often we slam awkwardly between scenes and locations or are shown a set or prop that just doesn’t land. Even if it means we get more time for character, one can’t help but wonder what this show could have been with the budget and focus to iron out its wrinkles.

Score: B+

[inevitably-johnlocked]

STEPH I ACCIDENTLY REWATCHED TSOT AND NOW I'M FUCKING SOBBING. I JUST HAVEN'T WATCHED THE ACTUAL SHOW IN FOREVER AND FORGOT HOW SAD SHERLOCK LOOKS IN THIS EPISODE. GOD. so yeah i just wanted some fics where john & sherlock dance together, whether it be at a/their wedding, "for a case", some kind of ball, or my favorite- sherlock teaching john to dance. it's maybe one of my favorite situations/tropes in media. (also welcome back!! and i love you <3)

Hi Lovely!!!

AHHHH I’ve been putting a “dancing” list together before I even had a system in place to do my lists, so I’m going to use your ask as an excuse to finally post it because I can’t find the original ask, LOL LOL!!!

And to pad out the list, I’m adding any that I’ve tagged from my MFL List, so I hope you enjoy that, LOL.

As usual, add your own, friends!! Hope you enjoy!!!

DANCING

You Lead, I Lead, You Follow, I Follow by BrighteyedJill (M, 862 w., 1 Ch. || Fever, H/C, John Whump) – John wakes up after a chase gone wrong to find Sherlock watching over him, but he’s a little hazy on the details.

Velvet by headlessjess (G, 1,155 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Angst, Jealous Sherlock, Loneliness, Sad Fic) – It's the day, the wedding day - John and Mary, getting married. And then there's Sherlock, in pain and in love, without knowing how to deal with it.

Your love it feels so good by Hotaru_Tomoe (E, 2,843 w., 1 Ch. || Gay Club / Gay Bar, Lingerie, Stripping, Anal) – Sherlock is last at a quiz night and is forced by Anderson to perform in a gay stripclub. John must be with him, because he will have to record the performance. Sherlock takes the task very seriously. Part 20 of The English job

Behind Closed Curtains by twisting_vine_x (G, 2,939 w., 1 Ch. || Dancing, Angst, Pre-Slash) – Set loosely during season two, when Sherlock and John are still, ahem, dancing around each other. Sherlock teaches John how to dance.

Unimpressed by 221b_hound (M, 3,106 w., 1 Ch. || New Year’s Eve, Dancing, Jealousy) – Sherlock has no intention of attending the Met's New Year's Eve party. The start of a new year is all but meaningless to him. But he ends up there anyway, having odd conversations, and John does not find Sherlock's jealousy the slightest bit cute. And then there is dancing. Part 10 of Unkissed

Every Step of the Way by Shi_Toyu (G, 3,795 w., 1 Ch. || Car Accident, John Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Caretaking, Pre-Slash) – When John is injured on a case, Sherlock can't forgive himself. Everyone expects him to give up on his flatmate and get bored, but he'll prove them all wrong by sticking with him...every step of the way.

No Good Without You by textsandscones (T, 4,021 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, Sherlock’s Violin, Dancing, Soppy Fluff) – A diverting new case surrounding musicians and stolen instruments captures Sherlock's attention, the consequences of which lead both detective and doctor to see one another in a different light. Part 1 of Prompt Fills

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

But Tonight You Belong to Me by esplanade (T, 4,296 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff & Angst, Pining, Stag Night, Sad Ending) – “You. It's always you. John Watson, you keep me right.”

The Dance Lesson by bittergreens (G, 4,596 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Missing Scene, Dancing, Pining Sherlock, URT/UST, Romance, Angst, POV John) – Sherlock teaches John to dip. Part 1 of Goodnight, Vienna

Sway by CrackedMetal (K+, 4,602 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Drama, Dancing, Mary is Nice, Canon Divergence, Song Fic) – Sherlock doesn't leave the reception and Mary wants the best friends to have a moment to talk… So she suggests a dance. Johnlock with a side of John/Mary.

Sherlock and John Go Clubbing by wendymarlowe (E, 4,716 w., 3 Ch. || Clubbing, Dirty Talk, Dancing, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Bi John, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Sherlock is Lost for Words, Sexy John, Mutual Pining, Possessive John, Floor Sex) – John pinched the bridge of his nose - even for Sherlock, this was a new level of no bloody boundaries. “You want me to go with you to a gay club, wait around twiddling my thumbs while I let you get pawed by a criminal, then out-flirt him and talk you into coming home with me instead?” Part 32 of John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times

a very soft epilogue (my love) by darcylindbergh (E, 5,395 w., 3 Ch. || Retirement, Domestic Fluff, Dancing, Dogs, Grumpy Old Men) – Across the pillows, Sherlock shifts and hums, the creases of his face deepening and then smoothing before settling. John watches him wake up, his chest swelling with affection and fondness, and thinks he’ll never get tired of Sherlock in the mornings, sleepy and soft. It’s been some forty-odd years, and John hasn’t gotten tired of it yet. Part 5 of things fairy tales are made of

Second Waltz by Atiki (T, 6,685 w., 1 Ch. || MCD, Angst, Fluff, Cancer) – "The night I died, you wished I could wait for you."

What I Hide By My Language, My Body Utters by PixChuu22 (M, 9,047 w., 1 Ch. || Fake Relationship, For a Case, Friends to Lovers) - Based on a prompt from Tumblr user thetwogaydetectives - “fake relationship that ends up being so real, they finally realize they are in love.”

Down with this Ship by FrostedFlame (PinkOrchid) (M, 10,862 w., 10 Ch. || For a Case, Gay Bar, Pining Sherlock, Coming Out, Slow Burn) – Sherlock drags John undercover to a gay bar - for a case, of course - looking forward to seeing John flustered by their surroundings (since you know, he's NOT GAY). John decides that he has hidden both his orientation and his feelings for his daft flatmate for far too long. He is done hiding, time to be honest with his bloody best friend in the world. He just hopes it won't change anything between them. And then it does.

the first day of forever by darcylindbergh (E, 11,850 w., 8 Ch. || Est. Relationship, Domestics, Light Angst, Insecurity, Emotional H/C) – “I’m going to marry you,” John murmurs with against Sherlock’s smile, and they both giggle in the joy of it. “We’re getting married.” “Yes,” Sherlock says, just to hear himself say it out loud. “We are.” A June wedding. Part 4 of things fairy tales are made of

All the Girls Love a Soldier by Book7BrokeMyBrain (E, 12,951 w., 1 Ch. || Military Kink, Frottage, Domesticity, Post S3, Pining Sherlock, Kilt John, Wedding, Dancing) – John is invited to a stag party and a wedding. The related accoutrement suit Sherlock to a T.

Twelfth Night by yourdykeinshiningarmor (E, 15,139 w., 5 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Christmas, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Angst & Fluff, BJ’s, Anal) – John is invited to his aunt's Twelfth Night ball. Sherlock offers to attend with him as a friendly face among strangers, but John's family force him to address his true feelings for Sherlock.

I Think I've Come A Long Long Way To Sit Before You Here Today by ArwenKenobi (T, 18,251 w., 3 Ch. || Grief/Mourning, Passage of Time, Major Character Death, Alternating POV, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Coma, Revenge Murders, Hallucinations, Love Confessions, Brutal Accident, Mystrade, Ghost John) – One year after John is killed Sherlock starts to wonder whether John has actually gone anywhere.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn't understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John's request.

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (E, 32,731 w., 26 Ch. || Christmas, Frottage, Comfort, Est. Rel., Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Frottage, Nightmares, Sleepy Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Humour, Fluff, Dancing, Cooking, Happy Ending) – For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves. Part 2 of things fairy tales are made of

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

Guilty Secrets by Ellipsical (E, 55,086 w., 16 Ch. || Drumsticks, First Kiss/Time, Love Confession, Self-Sexual-Discovery, Anal, Rimming, Orgasim Denial, Butt Plugs, Cooking, Furniture Sex, Bath Sex, Rimming, Double Penetration, Anal Beads, Dancing, Romance, Tantric Edging) – John has a prostate exam and discovers something surprising about himself. Experimentation follows. Sherlock wants to help. They're in love. You know the drill.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU ||  Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock POV, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

MARKED FOR LATER

He really can’t breathe. by Luna_sharp618 (NR, 696 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Dancing, Sherlock Teaching John to Dance, TSo3 Fic) – In which Sherlock teaches John how to dip his dance partner for the wedding and has some pining thoughts.

The Gay Bar Scene that never was by MadSophHatter (T, 1,372 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3, Gay Bar Scene, Confused Sherlock, Jealous John, Humour) – The gay bar scene from The Sign of Three as I envisioned it. Featuring a confused Sherlock, halfnaked men, sexy dancing and John who is absolutely not jealous.

Tango by standbygo (M, 1,424 w., 1 Ch. || Different First Meeting, Dancing) – “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” “Shut up and dance – a man’s alibi depends on it.”

Operation Synchronous by Daziechane (NR, 1,691 w., 1 Ch. || Dancer Sherlock, Lip Synch Battle, Abuse Of Umbrellas, Bets) – Sherlock never welches on a bet. That doesn't mean he'll give in easily, however.

on his mouth like liquor by chrysanthemumsies (T, 1,780 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3, Stag Night, Gay Bar, Romance, Dancing, First Kiss, Fluff) – The gay bar scene from Stag night that the creators didn't want to show! Pure crack with a bit of angst and a whole lotta fluff (if you squint). Sherlock and John on the dance floor - what's not to love?

Take me to Baker Street by MorganeUK (G, 2,087 w., 1 Ch. || Adult Ballet AU || Ballet Dancer Sherlock, Doctor John, Song Fic, Pre-Slash) – I always loved Sergei Polunin interpretation of Take me to the church so I decided to write a version where Sherlock is a ballet dancer in serious need of a doctor…

May I Have This Dance? by ScaryFairy13 (G, 2,297 w., 1 Ch. || Slow Dancing, Fluff, First Kiss, Wedding) – John drags Sherlock to Greg's and Molly's wedding. Dancing ensues as well as the discovery of certain sentimental feelings.

Under the Lights by CarmillaCarmine (E, 2,872 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Fix It, Stag Night, Gay Club, First Time, Dancing) – Following Sherlock’s map marked with all the streets where they had found a corpse, John and Sherlock stumbled into a gay club. Part 1 of TSoT Fix-It

Dirty by standbygo (E, 5,093 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, PWP, Dirty Dancing, Romance, Smut and Fluff) – “Yeah, I actually learned how to dance like that, like in the film. I was quite the hit at parties while the craze lasted. Some of Harry’s friends called me Johnny Castle, after the character. Or Swayze.” “Swayze? What kind of word is that?” John did not reply, but gazed at Sherlock, his lips pressed together but still smiling. After a moment, he stood and held out his hand to Sherlock. “Dance with me,” John said.

The Posh Purple Pirate (Enter My Life and Make Me Drown) by  Loveismyrevolution (E, 7,408 w., 1 Ch. || Exotic Dancer AU || Alternate First Meeting, Strangers to Lovers, For a Case, Lap Dancing, Hand Job, First Kiss, Pirate Sherlock, Drama Queen Sherlock, Dancer Sherlock) – When Mike Stamford invited him to a fun night out, John Watson never expected it would become such a wild ride - captivated by an enigmatic pirate his life suddenly gains speed in an unexpected direction. Part 1 of PirateDragQueenVerse

Life's Uneven Kilter by theslovenlyfool (T, 14,877 w., 4 Ch. || Canon Divergence S3, BAMF John, Secretly Married, Camp Gay Sherlock, Dancing, John is a Good Actor, Fake Relationship, Mycroft Plays a Role) – "According to Sherlock, the game began on September 21, 2005 at precisely 10:37:04 am. John complained that, with that logic, the game had actually begun on January 7, 2000, at around 1:30 am. But for Sherlock, games are only fun when others are willing to play. What is a game without an adversary, after all? And what is a proper dash across London without a partner? Now, Sherlock thought as he assessed the doctor with the unforgivable cane, the game is on."

Thirteen Dances (Or, The Doctor Dances) by Knackorcraft (E, 17,544 w., 13 Ch. || Dirty Dancing, Tango, Ballet, Frottage) – John is a great dancer: we're talking all types. Not only is he able to pop and lock it, he's got some great ballet technique. He was best at lifting / holding girls.

The One Where Sherlock Doesn’t Ruin John’s Holiday by nutmeag83 (T, 18,898 w., 11 Ch. || Pre-TRF / S2 Timeline, Friends to Lovers, Cruise Ships, Vacation / Holidays, Fake Relationship, For Science, Bed Sharing, Cuddling/Snuggling, Mutual Pining, John POV, Minor Case Fic, Cooking, Dancing, Drunk Shenanigans) – John wins a cruise vacation for two and brings Sherlock along. But when it turns out to be a couples cruise, they have to pretend to be a couple themselves (for science). How many pretend kisses will it take before they can’t deny their feelings any longer?

Lockdown by johnwatso and Salambo06 (E, 23,376 w., 20 Ch. || Quarantine, COVID-19, Lockdown, Fluff, Parentlock, Reunion, Dancing, Soft Idiots, Sex Toys) – The world is in lockdown due to Covid-19. This is how Sherlock and John spend their time.

Dance With Me by Silvergirl (E, 24,813 w., 12 Ch. || Post TEH, Dancing, Met Charity Gala, Sally/Sherlock Friendship, No Mary, Fluff) – Sherlock rescues Sally Donovan, and in turn she tries to help him get John to stop faffing about and get on with Johnlock.

Mountebank by Odamaki (M, 26,514 w., 2 Ch. || Fake Relationship/Dating/Marriage, For A Case, Jealous John, Suits, House Party, Crack, Trapped, UST, Dancing, Idiots in Love, Confessions, Friends to Lovers) – “I am calm,” John snaps, leaning on the door to glare out at the dark streets around them. Sherlock’s not said where they’re going; all he knows is they came off the ring road to the west of London and have vanished somewhere into the depths of Berkshire. All he knows is that he’s been trussed up in a suit that wasn’t hired from anywhere and if brought new would edge up into the triple figure margins. “Be calmer,” Sherlock advises, with a trace of irony. “We’re going to a party.” Part 29 of the The Sherlexicon

Time Of My Life by fiveainley_ohmy (E, 29,719 w., 8 Ch. || Dirty Dancing Fusion || Bisexual John, Dancing, Gay/Demi Sherlock) – John Watson takes his alcoholic sister to a summer camp in attempt to rehabilitate her. He didn't expect to fall in love with the dance instructor.

Brooklyn Heat, Summer Jazz by Zigster (E, 41,820 w., 10 Ch. || New York Ballet AU || Jazz Pianist John, Ballet Dancer Sherlock, Modern Setting, Brooding Sherlock , Confused John, Non-Linear Storytelling, Sexual Tension, Angst, Alcohol / Pot / Club Drug Use, First Time, Not-Good Mycroft, Happy Ending) – "There was, however, one thing that made it easier to stay on his piano bench every day. One thing that kept John Watson showing up to class on time, every morning at ten with a large thermos of honeyed tea and a conviction to see a job well done. His name was Sherlock Holmes and he was the most confounding and extraordinary thing John had ever come across - the most exotic of birds and the most unattainable of men."

Blond Barista Seeks Dashing Ballet Dancer: Inquire Within by prettysailorsoldier (E, 43,847 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock Coffee Shop AU || Rugby/Barista John, Ballet Dancer Sherlock, Fluff) – Between classes, his job at a local cafe, and being captain of the rugby team, John Watson's life is plenty stressful enough without the addition of a mysterious ballet dancer he can see through the windows of the dance studio across the street, but, somehow, he can't bring himself to mind.

My Pictures of You by 72reasons (E, 50,527 w., 19 Ch. || Fashion AU || Model Sherlock / Photographer John, Bisexual John, Gay Sherlock, Past Viclock, Past Warstan, Cocaine / Drug Use, Mary is Not Nice, Angst, Pining, Case Fic, Kidnapping, Human Trafficking, Past Jolto, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Frottage, Oral / Anal, Fingering, Dancing, Non-Con Drug Use, Rimming) – John Watson, a photographer, gets an assignment to shoot gorgeous, young fashion model, Sherlock Holmes. He feels an instant connection, but Sherlock uses drugs and has an old friend who's just landed himself in a lot of trouble. When Sherlock comes to John for help, he reluctantly agrees. Angst, past loves, and insecurities threaten to end their budding romance, but ultimately love and trust wins out.

Focal Point by PuffleLock (E, 60,913 w., 13 Ch. || Post-TRF Divergence / Different Reunion, POV John, Slow Burn, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Suicidal Thoughts, Sad Wank, Sherlock in Makeup, Dancing, Mentions of Torture / Depression / PTSD, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Scars, Rimming, Anal, Toplock, First Kiss / Time, Gay Sherlock / Bi John) – John comes home early from a medical conference to find that every once in awhile, Sherlock can surprise the hell out of him. Can John surprise him back?

A Moment's Surrender by anchors (M, 64,272 w., 10 Ch. || Dancer AU || Ballet Sherlock, Swing Dancer John, Angsty Fluff, Romance, Swing Dancing) – Sherlock tours worldwide with the English National Ballet. John dances the Lindy Hop competitively all across the globe. That they would meet, then, by the slimmest of chances in one lonely city, is pure coincidence. The whole 'dancing together' bit is a little more planned.

This Is Your Song by agirlsname (E, 79,990 w., 19 Ch. || Moulin Rouge Fusion || Prostitute Sherlock, Poet John, Acting, Singing, Dancing, Writing, Poetry, Musical, Song Fic, Heavy Angst, Unreliable Narrator, Sherlock is French, Love at First Sight, UST, First Kiss/Time, Frottage, Coming in Pants, Anal Sex, Switchlock, Clothed Sex, Crossdressing, Secret Relationship, Forbidden Love, Jealousy, Terminal Illnesses, Grief/Mourning, Breakup/Makeup Sex, Past Drug Use, Attempted Rape, Canon-Typical Violence)– When John Watson is invalided home from the army in 1895, he moves to Paris to rediscover his writing and find a new meaning in life. His old friend Stamford invites him into a group of artist friends, and suddenly John finds himself auditioning to write a show for the famous brothel across the street. There, he meets the most beautiful man he’s ever seen - Sherlock, the star of the Moulin Rouge. But Sherlock is already promised to the investor of the show, the rich Duke Moriarty.

A Case of Identity – The Musical by shamelessmash (E, 83,147 w., 15 Ch. || 1950′s Hollywood AU || Musical, Case Fic, Undercover as an Actor, Dancing, Happy Ending, Kidnapping, Drugs, Fluff and Angst, Humour, Writer/Director John, Slow Burn / Romance) – A mysterious death on set causes chaos in Stamford productions latest movie. With the premiere date left unchanged, they must find a new lead actor and reshoot an entire movie in two months. Sherlock Holmes goes undercover as a lead actor in a Musical: a juggling act to solve a murder while singing, dancing and charming his way through 1950s Hollywood. The last thing he expected was to fall in love with the screenwriter along the way. Or as I like to call it: the case where Sherlock finally gets to dance. Based off this prompt.

Rewind by All_I_need (E, 87,593 w. || Fake/Pretend Relationship, Pining, Angst, Sharing a Bed, Dancing Lessons, Oblivious John) – About a month before John's wedding, he and Sherlock embark on one last case together: a murder at a remote hotel in the middle of nowhere. A lot can happen in a week. And a lot doesn't. But what if ...?

Rosethorne by suitesamba (M, 98,888 w., 28 Ch. || Secret Garden AU || Injured Sherlock / John, Recovery, First Times, Minor Character Death, Disability, Past Domestic Abuse [Mary/OMC]) – John Watson, WWII army doctor, is injured in the line of duty and can no longer wield a scalpel. Sherlock Holmes, Britain’s best code-breaker, is side-lined by his own devastating injury. In a work inspired by Frances Hodgson Burnett’s “The Secret Garden,” the two men must find meaning and purpose in a world which seems to have taken away all they hold most dear. But of course, it really hasn’t.

October to Hogmanay by snorklepie (E, 127,318 w., 25 Ch. || Post HLV Fix-It, Awkward First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Sherlock is a Mess, Shameless Smut, Sherlock’s Past, Scotland, Poison, Holmes Family, Kilts, Dancing, Angst) – John stared at Sherlock’s profile against the cab window and exhaled slowly. After a long moment, he reached out and touched Sherlock’s long fingers where they were fiddling with the button on his coat. The tall man didn’t look around again, but his fingers slowly unfurled before curling deliberately around John’s hand. Part 2 of Scotland

Shatter Me by Loveismyrevolution (E, 162,856+ w., 20/24 Ch. || WiP || Sherlock Dances, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Angst with Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Introspection, Mutual Pining, UST, Idiots in Love, Big Brother Mycroft, Implied Drug Use, Suicidal Thoughts, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions) – This is a story about two men trying to find their way back into the comfort of their companionship. No easy task in the aftermath of the events of Reichenbach, a wedding and a shot through the heart. They are facing a very rocky road ahead with a lot of introspection, misunderstandings, angst and pining. They each try to cope in their own particular way. Eventually, they'll find a way to communicate and learn about the true nature of their feelings.

[crossdressingdeath]

Edelgard and allies: *kill Jeralt*

Edelgard, to a crying Byleth: hey don’t cry I don’t like that, also this is all the Church’s fault. I am blameless in this entire affair

Byleth, later: hey aren’t you allies with Those Who Slither In The Dark?

Edelgard: yes, you already know this

Byleth: including the ones who murdered by father for no reason?

Edelgard: I’m sure there was a reason. Why are you asking?

Byleth, taking out the Sword of the Creator: oh :) no reason :)

I can't even remember why Edelgard was working with Those Who Slither even though they were the ones who experimented on her and her siblings. I'm sure there was a reason, but I'm equally sure that it was a terrible reason that made it fairly obvious that her blaming the Church and then declaring war on both other nations on the continent because they were the Church's allies was at best hypocritical nonsense and at worst an excuse for some good old-fashioned imperial expansion. Give me Byleth taking her fucking head off with the Sword of the Creator, I beg of you. Or even just calling her on it, if brutal, violent revenge is too much for this game involving massive amounts of brutal, violent revenge from I think every faction leader except Claude (I haven't finished Verdant Wind yet so if that changes don't tell me); it's more the fact that it's never mentioned even after Byleth learns that Edelgard was working with Those Who Slither the whole fucking time that bothers me than the exact degree of retribution Byleth gets to exact for it. Hell, as far as I'm aware it doesn't even come up in the other routes, where there is no reason to try to make Edelgard look better by brushing it under the rug. What, did IntSys realize that there was no way to actually discuss that little aspect of the plot without making Edelgard look at best even more hypocritical than she already does and at worst morally bankrupt?

Also, a thing I remembered: the bandits we see in the prologue who were explicitly hired to kill the house leaders (and who only failed because Jeralt's mercenary company happened to be nearby, which no one knew; the bandits were shocked and from what the house leaders say it was Claude who led them in that direction so at most you can say he might have known, but he doesn't seem to have) were hired by the Flame Emperor. The Flame Emperor is Edelgard. This means that the first thing we know of Edelgard doing in her time at the monastery is trying to assassinate the future leaders of both other countries in Fodlan simultaneously. Yeah, I've seen people argue that Edelgard only went all warmonger because she'd tried everything else she could think of, but... nope! Her first move was trying to kill the leadership of the two countries she intended to go to war with. I am pretty sure that giving her empire (the empire whose nobility were the ones experimenting on her with the help of Those Who Slither but shhhhhh) power over the whole continent was her plan all along, and destroying the Church (and wiping out an entire race in the process) was at best a side goal and at worst a happy little bonus. I can respect a woman who knows what she wants, I just wish she didn't try to pretend she was doing what was right.

[hyenahunt]

Jun Sazanami - Sub Story 2: Curse of the Bastard Child

Writer: Akira

Season: Summer (ES!)

Characters: Jun, Jin

Proofreading: hyenahunt

Translation: royalquintet

Jun: You’re telling me my dad got his life ruined by this useless drunkard with a 5 o’clock shadow who gets smashed at his workplace?!

[Location: Teacher's Room]

Jun: ‘Scuse me~

Huh… No one’s even here. That’s pretty careless, y’know~? No one to blame but yourselves if anything gets stolen, alright? You coulda locked the door~!

(Oh…? Wait, looks like someone’s wiped out on the sofa over there?)

Jin: ...Yaaawn. Who’re you? That’s not our school’s uniform.

Ah… Right, you’re probably one of the kids in that joint event we have with Reimei. Well, welcome. Got some business in the teacher’s office?

Jun: Ah-- Uh, yeah. I came to turn in some forms and stuff.

Jin: Ohhh, good work.

Sorry ‘bout that~ It’d be a lot easier if we could just do it digitally. But we still have some old-fashioned folks here, so we have to do every little thing by paper.

Jun: Nah, it’s fine. It’s not like this was a whole lot of trouble or anything. Just a few papers.

But I had a few things I wanted to ask about…

We talked about the school who invited us--Yumenosaki Academy--paying for the expenses up to a certain point, but...

Are you really gonna be okay~? That idiot in my unit spends money like water, so I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be a huge cost to you guys. For real, you know?

Jin: I dunno, really. Our resident rich kid apparently has a hand in the budget, so we’re probably fine.

Go wild, if you want. I’d rather you kids have a good time since you dragged yourselves all the way over here.

Though it’s not really my place to say, since I’m not in charge of that Summer Live thing.

Wait here, I’ll get Akiyan-- Uh, the teacher who’s managing the plan for it.

Lessee… Huh? Where’d I put my phone again? Crap, I can’t remember anything after I opened my third bottle of sake.

Jun: ...You were drinking on school grounds? Uhh, you are a teacher here, right? Not just some bum who wandered in?

Jin: Ahh, it’d be pretty bad if the headmaster or some other higher-up found out about it, so keep it a secret, okay?

I thought my secret stash was gonna get found out, you see. I panicked and tried to drink it all but then I guess I blacked out.

Jun: Damn… I can’t even imagine that happening at Reimei.

I heard Yumenosaki went through a pretty rough patch, but seems like corruption runs rampant among the teachers, too, huh?

Jin: You know, you shouldn’t say that when there’s a teacher right in front of you…

It’s all good, though. They’ll overlook it as long as I’m not doing anything illegal.

Not like I’m demanding a favor from them, but I did earn a lot of money for Yumenosaki.

I just want ‘em to be more forgiving about my stupid behavior, to a certain extent.

Jun: …?

Jin: Ooh, there’s my phone. Hellooo, Akiyan? It’s me! Jin~

Yeah, there’s a kid from Reimei here… Can you deal with him?

Jun: Jin…? Wait, don’t tell me you’re…Jin Sagami?

You look real different, so I didn’t see it at first, but… Ah, now that I look-- You’re actually Super Idol Jin Sagami, aren’t you…?!

Jin: Huh? Are you my fan or something? I thought young‘uns these days don’t have a clue who I am.

Ahaha, you here for my signature? Nah, just kidding...♪

Jun: Goddamn! Who’d want your signature, you murderer…!

Jin: Eeek?! Wait, what’s going on? Why are you mad at me? It’s the terrible teens…!

Jun: Ugh, right, as if you’d know… You wouldn’t have the slightest recollection of all the rabble you crushed underfoot, would you.

My name’s Jun Sazanami, by the way. Ring any bells for you, Jin Sagami?

Jin: Wait… Unh, what? Sorry, my head’s still half-asleep…

Jun: …"Jun" sounds kinda like "Jin." Does that remind you of anything?

Jin: Huh? What do you mean?

Oh no… Crap, I don’t wanna deal with someone claiming to be my illegitimate child or something! I don’t know how to raise a kid!

Jun: Seriously, how long are you gonna play dumb… I’m pretty sure my father sent you a video around springtime this year?

Jin: What? Ahh, that thing! That cursed video!

It was pretty creepy, so I had it burned at the Hasumis’ temple, but I remember it had my saboteur-- I mean, my rival in it!

Right, his name was Sazanami! Wait, you said he was your dad… You’re his son?!

Urgh, I had a bad feeling about this and it was right on the mark… So, is that what you’re up to? Out to get your dad’s revenge or something?

You’re an era too late for that, though~ The law doesn’t allow for revenge, you know?

Jun: As if? My dad’s been pretty messed up for as long as I can remember…

Didn’t even treat me like a human, no love or anything.

I’m not gonna waste my life getting revenge for a bastard like that…

But of course I got curious, and from the videos I watched back then, I might’ve even kinda admired you just a little.

My dad was done in by such an incredible guy… I thought he might’ve been even satisfied with that.

So I’d accepted it and even felt kinda relieved. But now...

Ugh, fuck! God dammit, this is worst…

You’re telling me my dad got his life ruined by this useless drunkard with a 5 o’clock shadow who gets smashed at his workplace?!

Jin: No, um, but, I’m usually a bit better put together than this?

I mean, yeah, I felt sorry for your dad, but… I didn’t mean any harm. It’s just how things were back then.

Just go easy on me, okay?

And don’t say anything weird to the students, even by mistake… If you’re gonna have your revenge, have it with me.

I won’t complain even if it stings me. I earned it, anyway.

Jun: I said I’m not trying to get revenge. My dad may have raised me and sent me to Reimei for that purpose, but…

My dad’s my dad. I’m my own person.

Though if I take down your precious students… It’ll be like punishing the kids for their parents’ mistakes. Maybe it’d even make me feel a bit better?

My dad’s idol career ended in utter defeat…

But I can prove that when it comes to raising idols…he’ll outdo Jin Sagami anyday.

Haha. Ohiisan had to drag me to this Summer Live thing, but...I’m kinda looking forward to it now~

Jin: Mmgh… Well, it’s great that you’re excited about it, I guess.

But I do feel like the stage is no place to bring your thirst for revenge, or any other motives.

It was from giving into those kinds of scummy, dishonest thoughts that both me and your dad wound up losing our way.

Jun: ……

Jin: And besides. You act like it’ll be such a breeze to take them down, but our brats here are pretty talented themselves…

They may still be little babies without much experience, but don’t underestimate ‘em.

If you let your guard down, you’ll be the ones getting eaten up.

You don’t wanna repeat your dad’s failures either, right?

Jun: ...Thank you very much for the advice. I’ll really take it to heart, Jin Sagami.

✦✦✦✦✦

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[p-artsypants]

P-Artsypants Fic Masterpost!

This information is always available on my blog. 

Find most, if not more, of these fics on:

Fanfiction.net | Archive of Our Own | Wattpad

(~AU’s, *Finished, ❤️Author’s Favorites)

Kingdom Hearts

~❤️Rage Awakened AO3 | FF.net- Ten years ago, Terra, Aqua, and Ventus lost their fellow apprentice, Sora, in Deep Jungle. Now, they are to return with two new students, Riku and Kairi, to lock the heart of the world. All the while, something watches from the trees. Feral!Sora AU

My Kingdom for a Heart AO3 | FF.Net - The curse of being one of the Princesses of heart, is that there’s always someone out to get you. As Xemnas looked failure in the face, he reached out in a last ditch effort and destroyed Kairi’s heart. Now her friends must travel the worlds again. Sora, to find a way to recover Kairi’s heart, and Riku, to make amends to those he has wronged. All the while, the darkness grows. [Unfinished, on permanent hiatus]

Miraculous Ladybug

One Shots

*❤️Amalgam- When an young man is rejected for being ‘incompatible’ he turns into the akuma ‘Amalgam’ able to fuse two people together. And later Adrien and Marinette would debate if it was lucky or unlucky that they got hit. (Also Available in Russian)

*Sing We All Noel- After receiving the worst Christmas present ever from his father, Chat Noir finds himself out on the streets with nowhere to go on Christmas Eve. Thankfully, Ladybug finds him and brings him home.

*Speechless- In a world where everyone has a soulmark, the first words their soulmate will say to them, Marinette is born without one. But Adrien Agreste has two. Curious, considering he’s mute.

*❤️Tunnels of Love- The night started out with an accidental kiss from Adrien Agreste, and ended with her bleeding in the Catacombs of Paris. Ladybug, the wielder of the miraculous of good luck. Yeah right. (Some blood)

*The Reveal That Wasn’t- First Parts My ending to kittybug’s Tumblr Prompt

*What A Mess We’re In- Ladybug has a lot on her mind, and when Chat Noir bugs her enough, she tells him she’s going to confess to her Crush, Adrien Agreste. Chat’s reaction is not what she’s expecting.

*Oblivi-oh no! - A retelling of Oblivio, except Ladybug is the only one to lose her memory. How will Chat deal?

*Bad Day (3 chapters) - Marinette was Ladybug! This was Adrien’s luckiest day ever! Except it wasn’t, because all his good luck was used up in one go. Turns out this might be the worst day of his life.

*One Win, So Many Losses- Marinette was forced to break up with Adrien. It had been a low blow from Gabriel, to be sure. But she was Ladybug. She’d find a solution…right? An alternate ending to Chat Blanc, where Adrien doesn’t Cataclysm the akuma.

*❤️Five Minutes- Gabriel has had enough of all these girls fighting over Adrien. He decides it’s high time Adrien picks one, and arranges the perfect opportunity for him to do so. Each candidate has five minutes to present why they’d be a good girlfriend. Marinette decides to take this opportunity to shoot her shot.

~*Panache- Every eligible maiden was invited to the Prince’s ball. That included Marinette, scullery maid in her own household. But her stepsisters destroyed her dress, and she can’t go to the ball in rags. Or can she? (Cinderella!AU)

*Perfect, No Matter What-In which Gabriel sets the bar even lower for himself, a reveal happens because of pain medication, and the new guardian actually goes to Chloé for advice.

*Crushed- Stuck under a collapsed building together, Chat Noir and Marinette have a heart to heart.

*Lovelace- Convinced that he's unlovable, Adrien is quickly thrown for a loop when Marinette confesses her love for him out of the blue. An akumatization and reveal later, he changes his mind about being unlovable.

Long Fics

*❤️Longest Night- (FF.net | Ao3) - The day started out sucky to begin with. Her crush ousted to the class and Adrien. Lila taking pride in exacting her revenge. But by the time patrol was over, a young man was dead, and Ladybug’s identity was at risk. Lila was the least of her concerns. Good thing Adrien was taking it all like a champ. (Rated M for scenes of torture)

*❤️Nine Lives- (FF.net) When Adrien Agreste is scheduled to go to a Military School in Germany, Chat Noir must make a critical decision. Does he give up his Miraculous? Or does he give up his life as Adrien? I’ll save you the trouble of guessing, he gives up being Adrien.

*Tender Words- When Marinette finally gets the guts to confess her feelings for Adrien, some things go so wrong, and other things go so right.

*Integrity- Overwhelmed with her responsibilities, guilt, and drama, Marinette has an emotional breakdown in front of everyone, and even hands over her earrings in a moment of weakness. Only for a few seconds, but the damage was done. Adrien’s pretty quick on the uptake like that.

~Much Obliged- Everyone deals with grief differently. Some take to drinking, others devote themselves to charity. Adrien Agreste? Well, he became a cowboy. Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a witch, one of very few in the world. She knows what it’s like to be doubted, and assumed delusional. Maybe that’s why they got along so well. Or maybe it’s just because they both like big hats. AU where everything is the same, except instead of superheroes, Adrien is a Cowboy and Marinette is a witch. (Unfinished) (Based on a AU by @bugaboo-n-bananoir)

*I’ll Handle This- “I’ll solve all your problems,” Plagg had said. “You just have to agree to it.” A fixed relationship with his father, Lila to stop bothering him, and Ladybug to fall in love with him? Who wouldn’t agree to that? Except Plagg was the God of Destruction and Chaos and had a more…hands-on approach. Adrien just wants his body back. (Body swap fic)

The Ghost of Smokey Joe- Adrien Agreste was acting bizarre. Stilted body language, plastic smile, and he seemed to have forgotten how close they were. Before she can get the truth out of him, Marinette finds herself as the sole heir to the Gabriel brand and the mansion, following the murder-suicide of both Adrien and Gabriel Agreste. The mystery continues as Tikki explains that Adrien was Chat Noir...but if Adrien is six feet under, why is Chat Noir still running around?

How To Train Your Dragon

One Shots

The Vikings Have Their Tea (FF.Net | AO3)

Arranged Marriage- Takes place at the beginning of HTTYD

❤️Breathe- Survival of the fittest

~Childhood Friends- At the Sandbox

❤️Easy Fix- In which Hiccup has a bad day

~Fashion Designer- Astrid needs a fill in

❤️Frozen- In Which Astrid takes a Dip and things get frisky (Rated M)

❤️Headache- In Which Hiccup hits his head….really hard

❤️Heir- In Which Hiccup is Picked (Longer version by FateCharms)

Illness- In Which Stoick is a dad

~Illusionist- Trick gone wrong

~In the Walls- In which there’s a poop ghost

~Knocking On The Wrong Door (2) - A chance encounter

❤️Messages- Astrid is Frustrated with Hiccup’s obliviousness

~To Mirkwood- Hiccup is not a dwarf

~Monster Falls- Hiccup and Astrid take a dip

❤️Mute- In which there’s a quiet stranger

~Music Video (ImgHS)- He didn’t expect it

❤️Operation: Lovebirds- In Which the gang makes a plan, and Hiccup gets Drunk

~Over- Too many nightmares

~Partners in Crime- A normal day at work

~Pirate- Astrid is the greatest treasure

~Prince- He doesn’t want to be a broken King

❤️Sorting Things Out- In Which Astrid gets her ducks in a row

~The Dragon and The Dame- Beauty and the Beast Au

The Pit- In Which Hiccup is rescued

Hide and Seek- Part 1

Lost and Found- Part 2

Long fics:

*❤️Infernal Responsibility- Being the son of the chief takes brains, courage, and a lot of patience. But at his father’s the request for marriage, Hiccup decides he has had enough. When he seeks out a life of ease, he runs into more than what he bargained for.

*❤️Roses and Lilies- “Astrid, you and I both know you’re much tougher than I am. You’re more brave, and a better fighter…but just for a little while…could we pretend that I’m the one protecting you?” “Oh gods yes!” (Also Available in Spanish!)

*~What the Water Gave Me- The sea is a wild and dangerous thing, something that cannot be foretold or predicted. Hiccup discovered this many years ago, in human naiveté. Yet, what was meant as a sacrifice became a new life, one like no one could comprehend. He now finds himself once more in the unknowing hands of those that sentenced him to death. He only prays things will be different this time. Merman!AU

*Parasite- Soulsnatcher Dragons are rare but deadly. But, As Hiccup finds out, it’s the eggs you have to watch out for.

*~320 State Street- Gobber’s Goods. A Hardware Store that was rumored to have everything you needed. She thought she only needed a job. Turns out, she needed a lot more than that. (A Modern AU no one asked for)

*~❤️The North Tower- When Finn Hofferson died, Astrid inherited his castle in Wales…and a whole lot more. Something sinister lurks in the North Tower.

*~❤️Boy Toy- AO3 - At the age of 21, Princess Astrid lawfully has to pick a husband. But when the perfect groom is nowhere to be found, she requests the toymaker to create one for her. It’s safe to say that everyone in the kingdom is a little concerned. (Pinocchio!AU I guess?)

No, You Go First- AO3 - The Chief of Berk was a headstrong viking, stubborn and full of pride, and willing to do whatever it takes to keep his village safe. But for a moment, he puts that aside, and listens to his son. In which Hiccup convinces his dad not to make him go through Dragon Training, and the subsequent changes that follow.

*In Due Time- AO3 - As another illness sweeps through Berk, Gothi needs another ingredient for her medicine…one that doesn’t exist anymore. Fortunately, she kept that old spell book around for such an occasion. Big Hiccup is sent to five years into the past, and his younger self sent to take his place in the future. But it’s only a few days, what could go wrong?

Trollhunters: Tales from Arcadia

❤️Arcadia or Bust- In Which Arcadia welcomes back it’s underground citizens.

Teen Titans

Oneshots:

~Big Brother- Don’t turn out the light (Horror)

Dear Jason- Bruce Writes a letter

Just Drawing- Bruce thinks about Robin

The Prisoner- Starfire is Guilty

Of Mustard and Three Foot Purple Tongues- A collection of Oneshots and Drabbles

Long Fics (*Finished):

*~❤️Carol of the Bells- High in the dark Bell Tower of Notre Dame, there lives a mysterious bell ringer. Legend tells of the angel who fell from the sky, and the curse she bares. There are few who know her true identity though; her master, the priest, and the acrobat that performs on the streets below. Based loosely on ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’ RobxStar and slight BBxRae

*No Escape- Three years ago, Starfire escaped an Alien race called the Gordanians, to arrive on Earth. They’re back, and ready to put Starfire back where she belongs, behind reinforced Titanium bars. Robin’s not about to let her go…if only he hadn’t got captured first. How does it feel to be the alien, Robin?

*Now you Know My Pain- When the new Villain, Gender Bender, comes to down, the Titans find themselves in an odd situation. They’ve been turned into the opposite gender against their will! Now in order to change back, they must learn to understand the gender they’ve turned into. Rated T for obvious reasons. A great read if you’ve ever wondered why girls or guys do [blank].

*Paint it Black- Robin disappeared three months ago. Now, Jump City’s crime rate is mysteriously being taken care of by a normal, albeit strange, teenage boy who goes by the name Black. As the Titans befriend this lunatic, they begin to see a relation between him and their missing leader. Will they be able to find Robin, or will Black turn them all insane as himself? Actually, contains NO OC.

*Saving Grace- “When I’m done with you, you won’t be able to walk upright or speak coherent sentences and all you’ll see is my mask and my voice repeating in your head…Weak. Richard Grayson, I am not tough, I am everything that you fear.” Happy Ending! Smudge of RobStar. NO Slash!

Other Fandoms

Final Fantasy XV

❤️Requiem for Pitioss-“O King. The god’s have heard your cries. Know that we weep with you. The Oracle’s calling has not yet been fulfilled. But…Lunafreya as you know her cannot return the way she was.” Noctis looked up, hopeful. “But she can return!” Canon divergence from Chapter 9. Happy ending. Some spoilers.

Final Fantasy X

I Do…I Guess? - “I would…like to ask you something.” “Shoot.” “Well…if it’s not too much…I’d like to ask you…to marry me.” Knowing what’s to come during her pilgrimage, Yuna asks Tidus to marry her, strictly for convenience and having an official next of kin, of course. Starts after Luca and how this decision would affect the rest of the story.

Beauty and the Beast

*❤️Behold the Beast- A Oneshot alternate ending to the Animated Film

Cinderella

*❤️Midnight- “When the clock strikes twelve, the spell will be broken,” the fairy godmother had warned. A retelling of the story, when Cinderella doesn’t escape the ball in time. Oneshot

*So This is Love- What if Jaq and Gus hadn’t made it in time to help Cinderella? A new twist on the ending of the classic Fairytale, and what lies beyond the story. She still gets her happy ending and her Prince, and her step family gets their just deserts.

Sleeping Beauty

*❤️A Love Song Back To Me- Maleficent saw the loophole that stared her in the face. Prince Phillip would break the curse in time, for sure. After all, he was betrothed to Aurora. So in an effort for her evil plan to stay in action, Maleficent takes care of the young prince herself. Phillip never imagined having to live off the land like the birds above. Alternate twist on the classic Disney tale.

Escaflowne

Down Feathers- Hitomi’s depressed. She’s been away from Van too long, he comes back to visit her…but what if something went wrong with the transfer? (Not finished. Never will be finished. Mwahaha) Circa 2012

*Angel’s Wounds- Fanelia’s been victorious in their most recent battle with Basrum. Unfortunately, someone is wounded and just seeks solace in his love that lives so far away. Post Anime.

Momma Look Sharp- With the war between Fanelia and Basrum finally coming to a close, the kingdom is celebrating. The young king, however, is suffering from an experience unlike any he had before. Van finally seeks solace in his wife.