#does she hate me or am i overthinking
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#does she hate me or am i overthinking#i really don’t know#i hope i am but i am annoying#maybe she’s bored with me :/#c rants
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at what point should one go and get tested for ocd...................
#i seem to have a bit of a thing with checking things#and when i say a bit i mean it's getting very annoying#i don't actually even want to tell what i need to check the most bc it's fucking embarrassing#BC I KNOW I DON'T NEED TO CHECK IT I KNOW THAT I KNOW#AND YET.#I STILL HAVE TO FUCKING DO IT#HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#i hate it#and anyway doesn't skin picking go under ocd too#idk#i did actually once bring it up already with my psych but aaand she did agree with me but that was literally like at the end of the session#buuut i don't go there consistently yk so i just didn't have the chance to talk more abt it#but ii don't know sometimes i think that oh but what if others do the same and i'm just overthinking it#but . unfortunately the thing i need to check the most simply cannot be a normal thing lmao i am finding it very hard to believe that#that's something you guys do aswell#but then again#maybe#IDKK#weird it's weird#but it does bother me so fucking much#hhhhhhhhhhh#mayor of loserville
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i am genuinely so crazyyyy about lbruuuuu.... like Genuinely Genuinely. its pretty bad guise
#like. im crazy about the.m#unfortunately ive been touched by autism and therefore the pattern seeking. they are so dirkjake#and also so me nand my husband <3#its kind of freaky actually#my husband and kabru both have ptsd overthinking masking disease. he said he didnt like kabru (anime only) and i told him about those trait#and he was like is he me. is that why i dont like him. and i was like LOL#he was ilke i dont like that he says what he needs to get what he wants... and i was like sir we literally just talked about how bad your#Fake Conflict Avoidant has gotten bro dont even play#im laios ofc.... ofc... not only is our autism like. similar in presentation. but also the whole never fitting in#and getting told off by a friend granted i wasnt told she always hated me but i was told about how annoying i am and on another occasion#how unreliable i am so LOLLLL that entireeeee scene seriously wrenched my soul#anyway im gonna commit egregious acts against myself to atone for this#alsoooooohis relationship with falin... is really relatable..#now this may sound harsh against laios but im his number one fan i will defend him to death but...#he left his struggling sister to avoid his own pain and didnt reconnect with her for years#like. Yeah. wow. i will say i was much more cruel to my sibling than laios ever was to falin lol he was just kind of a normal brotherly ass#and ofc he was a kid when he ran from home! and i was a kid when i had severe unmanaged adhd (with tism) and had 0 hold on my emotions#and then i withdrew from my sibling once i got on antidepressants lol#it was really difficult to deal with the guilt of having mistreated them to the extent i did while also acknowledging i was failed by our#adults its hard figuring out what exactly youre sorry for#anyways#i love oversharing here. do you guys like it. does anyone ever read these rants#DM
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#so I 'came out' as an evanstan to my friend and it didn't go well lol#she's a seb fan and been honest with me since day 1 that she doesn't like chris#and i was like that's fine since we have a lot in common and since she respects that i love Chris#but idk how one convo let to another and she was like i hate evanstan people#and i was like i am evanstan people#she was like excuse me what? i was like yes i am and it's the truth#it was few weeks ago and ever since#our chats don't feel the same anymore#like i feel the tension#and that it's like she doesn't want to talk to me anymore#even tho she follows me on twitter and honesty if anyone does follow me there#they know that it's not like I'm hiding my evanstan side#idk what or how to feel#and maybe I'm just overthinking#maybe it's just my period talking#idk#i’m 🙃🙃🙃
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Heylo my maggotsies... I'm sorry to do this but I have a thing that I really, really need to do (thank you Ash for helping me realise that) but I'm terrified to. so well. I'm going to make one of the posts (Neil reblogged me a couple of days ago so I feel pretty safe making one now since he only lurks by once in two weeks so this is as good a time as it gets to make a post and not expect many notes, yes I'm an overthinker and I'm actually scared of this getting notes).
Sigh. Here goes.
...I'm scared of even typing it.
Nope okay I can do this let's go.
If this post gets 1k notes, I'll look up jobs in design and film making that don't need a college degree.
2k notes, I'll sign up for an Alliance Francaise course so I can have another language on my CV, and I'll find a course that teaches me how to use design software.
5k, I'll look up distance learning alternatives, because just talking about physical college yesterday made me spend the whole morning and afternoon today in and out of nightmares screaming. Fuck.
10k, I'll tell my mum that I can't do the offline college. She's been talking to me about it, but I've been dodging because I'm not well-off and I really need to be earning and idk how to do that without college and I feel so guilty.
15k, I'll officially back out from the college (does that count as dropping out, if it hasn't begun? maybe half. i am a college and a half dropout, my 11th grade self would hate me and my 10th grade self would refuse to believe it).
I don't know what I'll do then. I don't know how to live as trans here in India, I don't know how to earn enough to be able to help my family, I don't know what I'm good at and I'm so fucking terrified. But. I spoke to @random-doctor-on-the-internet last night (I love you Ash you're such a fucking amazing human) and they made me realise that well maybe landing in a hospital with steroids to relieve an allergy attack because of exam stress isn't normal and so.
Well. Here I am. I know I can't do it, but I'm scared to risk everything, it's just not something people do here, dropping out. But also (TW s**cide statistics mentioned below the cut)... And so I've just. Got to do it, got to save myself and say no to college (cue say no to school, kids joke). Somehow be brave enough. And yeah.
To quote a financial express article: "In an alarming situation, a total of 7,62,648 suicides were reported in India between 2018 to 2022, Of this student suicides account for 7.6% at 59,239". Maybe if more people did say fuck you to the system here, that wouldn't be the case. That number could have been 59,240 (aside from everyone who wasn't counted and hushed up), that could have been me, and I don't want to put myself in that situation again. You know? Yeah.
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Book of Bill Spoiler
I wanna talk about this
I’ve been seeing an interesting divide in the fandom about how they feel about Dipper and Mabel’s parents having marital issues.
It changes the show a lot, in terms of how the kids act, why they got sent to Gravity Falls, why Dipper was looking for an idol, and why Mabel didn’t want summer to end. I’ve seen some people hate it and some people like it. I am the latter.
Marriage problems doesn’t always mean a terrible home life, or abuse. Dipper wasn’t supposed to hear it, which means his parents are keeping it behind closed doors and not letting their issues become the twins’.
Which makes me believe this isn’t an abusive situation. Alex will torture the shit out of Stan and Ford (we know this), but Dipper and Mabel are precious to him, I don’t think he would put them in a bad/dangerous home life.
If Dipper’s having nightmares about it, it’s because it’s Dipper. He’s an anxious and paranoid kid, who makes mountains out of molehills and overthinks absolutely everything.
We don’t know the status of Mr and Mrs. Pines’ relationship. For all we know, the summer was just what they needed to patch things up, and everything was fine when the kids came home. But if at the end of the summer they have the oh-so-infamous sit down with the twins about a change in their family, it’s not inherently a bad thing.
Yes. The twins would be devastated if their parents separated.
Dipper would be extra moody and angry and our hopeless romantic Mabel would fall into a depression. I can see them both diving into distractions and finding comfort more with their Gravity Falls family. Keeping up with the Stans, Soos and Melody, Wendy, and Pacifica.
But things would settle down eventually, theyd get into a routine and eventually see how much happier their parents are. I can also see Mabel being excited she gets to decorate two bedrooms for herself, and getting to play matchmaker for her parents. Dipper would learn to live with it eventually, and I’m sure all he wants is to see his parents happy, but I think he’d fight it longer than Mabel does.
But they’d be okay.
This stuff happens, and I honestly love the representation, as a child of divorced parents. I don’t see it very often in children’s media, and I couldn’t relate to characters who had parents who got along with each other when I was a kid. And usually if they had step-parents it was because one of the parents died or something.
This is, classic Alex, left up to interpretation as to what’s happening in the Piedmont Pines’ household.
But whatever it is, our Mystery Twins will go through it together
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・゜゜Gamer Ellie Headcannons ・.
NSFW CONTENT BELOW, MDNI
✧.* Gamer Ellie wears those plaid boxer-shorts around the house adorned with some random t-shirt she often sleeps in. When she's out and about, she loves her classic flannel or white wife-beaters, sports bra peeking out of the fabric when she moves just ever so slightly. Converse and doc-martins all the way. You'll beg her not to wear it in public, but Ellie's got this one black Call of Duty t-shirt that is she is obsessed with.
✧.* Gamer Ellie ismore introverted than anything. She likes staying inside with you and watching movies with you rather than going on restaurant dates. Speaking of movies, gamer Ellie would be more into comedy and sci-fi than anything. I've mentioned in previous headcannons Ellie would be a huge Jurassic park fan, but some other movie / shows she'd be begging you to watch with her are Airplane, Star Trek, and Pulp Fiction. Anything with action or on her level of dumb humor, and Star Trek for when she's geeking out. It's her guilty pleasure.
✧.* Gamer Ellie's favorite type of physical touch is having your fingers running through her hair. She likes to feels your touch in such a light, vulnerable way. Sometimes when she's playing a game, you'll approach her from behind and massage her scalp with your sweet touch. "Babe, you're distracting me!" She'll complain with a dramatic but playful groan, but her freckled face will melt like ice on a hot day from your touch.
✧.* Gamer Ellie isn't good at multi-tasking. She loves having you all up in her lap while her fingers are punching keys, but she always seems to lose when you're touching her, let alone near her. Why? Her thoughts are filled with the night before when the two of you were about to fall asleep, giggling in bed about some video on your phone, and specifically she's thinking about when you forgot all about sleep and had a late-night make-out session with some 90's movie tuned out on the television. It's so hard to remember to reload her virtual AR when all she's feeling is the way your warm fingers slid down her back and how your breathing turned into soft pants when she got all greedy and latched her filthy mouth onto your neck. Still, she'd never tell you to get off of her lap so she could focus. You were worth every aggravating respawn.
✧.* Gamer Ellie, in bed, isn't some huge dommy-mommy or whatever you're thinking. She's really touchy, sure. But she's honestly just your average lesbian who is absolutely obsessed with her girl, and she blanks at time. You'll be on top of her, and she's got this cave-woman aura going where she's just staring at your pretty face, focused on chasing your lips for a kiss. Her hands are awkwardly perched on her sides because she forgets how to even touch you: you're such a fucking goddess, and she's kind of a loser. You're a savior, though; guiding her hands to your waist with a sweet, patient smile. Ellie will get the cue and her fingers will spread across your waist to the top of your hips, and she remembers how desperate she is. (This one was inspired by me with my gf, you're so real gamer Ellie)
✧.* Gamer Ellie is also a switch! If you want her to be the top, she'll do it, but like I said she's going to be all cute and embarrassed about it. She'll be eating you out and her thoughts will be going at 100 miles per hour: "Am I doing this right?" "She's moaning Ellie, stop overthinking it." And sometimes the only thought she can really be having is "I love pussy." Cute. When she's bottom, which is most of the time, she isn't really all submissive and whiney but more like, defensively flustered like how she got with Dina when Dina threatened to bite her on the couch. Gay panic type of bottom. She does get pretty loud when you use a vibrator on her, though. That's a personal favorite in the bedroom.
✧.* Gamer Ellie did have a Fortnite phase. She hates talking about it but she spent like an ungodly amount on the stupidest skins. She used to make you watch her play at first, and then it was you having to create a whole Epic account so you could be her duo. Ellie's favorite season? Chapter two season seven. Why? Aliens. She got the battle pass and unlocked the alien skins, too. A little after she got super obsessed with it, like yelling at some 12 year old boy telling him his mother wishes she swallowed him, she moved on to a game that wasn't making her yell at at her screen. You were thankful.
✧.* Gamer Ellie is a huge night owl. While your sleep schedule is pretty average, she will blink and it'll be four in the morning. She'll groan and pop her back before stripping down to underwear and a t-shirt and then crash on your shared bed, making you stir from your rest. She sleepily curls her body into yours, peppering the warmest smooches wherever(probably with her eyes closed or half-way, at least) and muttering out apologies for waking you in the most ethereal voice known to woman-kind (it's raspy and the one she uses during sex when she's attempting to be a good top).
A/N: Thank you everyone for over 500 followers! I hope to post some longer fics this week or at least some more arcane fics. I promised some Jinx content, hopefully that'll be soon. Love you all.
#tlou2#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#ellie x reader#ellie x you#ellie smut#ellie x y/n#the last of us part 2#ellie x fem reader#lesbian#lesbian sex
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Hi!! I saw that you write for Arcane and had a really cute idea for Vander. I don’t really see a lot of fics where you get to see Vander’s reactions to the reader either playing with the kids or comforting them, so I thought a fic centered around that might be cute? (I think also having a bit of slow burn would be sweet, like both Vander and the reader like each other but don’t do anything about it until getting a little push from the kids because they ship).
ONE LITTLE PUSH
Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!
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Fandom(s): Arcane: League of Legends
Pairing(s): Vander x Reader
Word Count: 1.9k
Genre(s)/Tag(s): Gender Neutral!Reader, Bit of a Slowburn, Fluff, Getting Together, Reader is Smaller than Vander (but who isn’t?), Sibling Bickering
Notes: VANDER MY FAVORITE
(No, but seriously, contrary to popular belief, he’s my 1st favorite over Viktor)
JUST IN TIME (kind of) FOR SEASON TWO, LETS GOOOOO
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Vander wasn’t quite sure why you stuck around for so long.
In fact, he wasn’t sure why you stuck around in the first place.
But… As Vander watches you with the kids. His kids. He begins to understand why.
You were kind, unyieldingly so. Even as Mylo grew to start picking on Powder, even as they fought, you were kind and patient and offered them the unending gentle love they all so craved.
The love he couldn’t afford to give them because who could be gentle in the Undercity? Especially in the depths of the Lanes?
You could.
Vander was in the middle of pouring a drink when Powder tumbled into The Last Drop. She was covered in bruises and dust from something. Or someone. She barely met his gaze as she clambered to her feet and all but sprinted into the back where they all slept. Vander looked through the multitude of customers and spotted you.
You had obviously seen Powder go bolting, worry twisting your face as you glanced toward the bar and met his stare. You arched an eyebrow, and he shrugged. You rolled your eyes and sighed before smiling in jest and getting up from where you had been tinkering with the jukebox.
Vander finally manages to get away from his chatty clients and makes his way back into the back room nearly fifteen minutes later.
Only to pause by the door.
“—ylo hates me! He does, I swear!” Powder cries, and you hush her gently, dabbing what looks to be some of the antiseptic you have lying around on her cuts and bruises. Disinfectant was hard to come by, especially in the Lanes, but you were seemingly magic in the sense that you always knew who to talk to to get some. It seems you had worked your magic yet again.
“Did Mylo say that he hates you?” You ask gently, whispering a quiet “sorry” under your breath as she flinched with the sting of the antiseptic.
Powder pauses, thinking what had to be her earlier conversation over,
“Well… No…” She mumbles, and you hum,
“Can I give you my honest opinion?” You ask, and she stills, looking up at you with wide eyes before nodding.
“Aren’t you always honest with us?” She asks. You chuckle at that.
“I suppose I am. But I don’t think Mylo hates you. Does he find you a bit annoying? Maybe. But every big brother thinks that about their younger siblings. I know mine did.” You say, and Powder mulls your words over and over and over in her mind.
She always did overthink things.
“I didn't know you had a big brother.” She says eventually, and you let out a loud laugh at that.
“You are a silly girl for focusing on that. But yes, I came from a big family. And guess what? I was the baby of the family. Just. Like. You.” You say, emphasizing your words with a pinch to her side. Powder squeals with laughter and wriggles away to escape your dastardly tickling.
Vander hangs his head with a huff and a smile before turning to head back to the bar counter. He can hear your conversation continue as Powder escapes your grasp.
“Now, where did you get all these bruises from?”
“Um… Vi taught me parkour from Topside down…”
“Powder! You’re like seven!”
“Seven and a half! And she said I was ready!”
Ever since you began to stick around, you had become something of a parent figure to the four little children Vander had come into care for.
To Vi and Powder especially.
So when Mylo burst into The Last Drop with the words of a fistfight on his tongue, you were the first one out the door.
Vander was close behind.
Mylo led you and Vander deep into the Undercity. In fact, it was so far into the Undercity that Vander was worried they were getting into some dark territory.
Like… Really dark territory.
But soon enough, the sounds of a fight were heard, and soon after, you were deep in the throng of a multi-person fistfight. Everyone paused for a second when they saw you and then stopped altogether when they spotted Vander not far behind.
You began to pull people off and shoved them out of the way. You did this again and again, ducking under a few stray punches until you managed to unearth Vi.
She wasn’t looking too hot.
Her face was bruised and swollen, and the fifteen-year-old spat out a wad of blood as she bared her bloody teeth and prepared to fight again.
At least until she saw you.
It was as if the tension had been released from her shoulders.
She all but slumped into your grasp, and you stumbled back a step with the sudden weight. Vander yanked the last person away from you both and scooped up his adoptive daughter. She leaned her head into the crook of his neck and was obviously fighting back tears.
Mylo was hunched over, hands on his knees, and wheezed from all the sprinting.
“Vi? Violet, can you hear me?” You said as soon as you all returned to The Last Drop, and Vander set her down on the couch. Powder and Claggor had been found a block away, fighting off more thugs from whoever sent them after the literal children.
He would've pummeled them to a pulp if Vander hadn’t hung up his gauntlets years before.
Vi’s head lolled from side to side, and you shone a pocket flashlight into her eyes, watching as her pupils dilated and contracted. You were experienced at this, taking care of people, even more so than he thought.
Were you a doctor deep in your past?
As Vander thought about it, he realized he didn’t know practically anything about you. Your past, your likes, dislikes, he knew you were good with machines and medicine and that you came from a big family. But that was it.
And that hurt his heart.
You ended up ushering everyone out of the room while you worked on caring for Vi. Vander closed the bar early and was in the middle of putting chairs on tables when you emerged. Powder, Mylo, and Claggor dropped what they were doing. They scampered to your side, a chorus of “How’s Vi?” erupting from the kids. You offered them a tired smile and patted their heads.
“She’ll be okay. She’s resting right now. You can go in and see her if you’re quiet.”
And then it was the two of you.
Vander set the final chair on top of the table and meandered his way over where you were sitting at the bar, head in your hands.
You looked tired.
“Is she really okay?” He asked, and you grunted, rubbing at your temples.
“She has a broken nose, fractured left arm, some bruised ribs, and a concussion. Which, all things considered, she’s very lucky. It could’ve been a lot worse.” You say, and he sighs,
“Did she say why she got into the fight?” He replied, and you shrug,
“She was protecting Powder. Then, more people started showing up until it was an all-out brawl. That’s when we stepped in.” You say, and his shoulders sag.
Vi was going to be okay.
“I don’t think I’ve ever said it. But thank you. For everything you’ve done. Taking care of them and all that.” He says, and you just hum.
“You guys gave me a home after everything. I’m just repaying my debt. Well… that and I love those kids.” You say, and he arches an eyebrow,
“After everything?” He inquires, and you glance up sharply as if not realizing what you had said.
Eventually, your gaze casts downward, and you run a hand over your head and through your hair.
“I was a doctor in Piltover before the rebellion. I was caught trying to help the Undercity before they were officially citizens and cast out.” You say, and his arched eyebrow raises even higher.
“A doctor? Were you any good?” You bark out a dry laugh at that,
“One of the best!” Your voice cracks as you speak, and he feels his heart splinter into pieces.
Vander should’ve known that Claggor and Mylo were up to something when they came in with sneaky grins on their faces.
The Last Drop was all but desolate. It was the wee hours of the morning before the people of the Undercity awoke to begin their day. But the door was unlocked, and the kids were allowed to run in and out as they pleased.
Which they had been doing a lot in the last hour or so.
“Vander!” Mylor clamored for his adopted father’s attention, waving an excited hand as he scampered up to the counter. Claggor hung behind, ever the stoic young man. But there was mischief in their eyes and curling the corners of their mouths.
Vander slung the rag he used to wipe the counters down over his shoulder and leaned on the bar counter.
“What did you do now?” He teased, and Mylo all but squawked.
“When have I ever done anything?!” Vander just stared,
“Do you really want me to answer that?” He asked, and Claggor snickered at Mylo’s deflated expression. Mylo quickly spun on a heel and jabbed a finger at his adopted brother,
“Not a word outta you, Claggor!” He snapped before spinning back as something dawned on him.
“You gotta come with us!” He demanded, and Vander glanced between the two of them.
“Why?” He asked, and Mylo let out an exaggerated groan.
“No questions! Just come on!” He grabbed Vander’s hand and tried tugging him around the counter and toward the front door.
Vander relented, locking the door behind him as he followed the two boys.
Only to realize very quickly what was actually going on.
His first tip-off was hearing Powder and Vi’s voices, yours mixed in as you asked where you were going, why they were taking you, and what they were doing.
Vi answered no questions. Powder just chirped excitedly. “You’ll see! You’ll see!”
The six of you met in the middle of the street, Powder dragging you by your hand as you followed behind patiently. You glanced up from listening to Powder, and your gazes met. Vander felt his heart skip a beat as he took in your appearance. There wasn’t anything particularly new, but you looked like you had cleaned up some. Your hair was pinned neatly back, and your clothes looked ironed.
You looked… Really nice.
“Vander? What’s going on?” You asked, and Vi nudged you with her good arm. Her fractured left one was still healing carefully under your care.
“We’re setting you two up.” She teased, and you stared dumbly.
“Setting us up how?” You asked, and now it was Powder’s turn to blurt out an answer,
“On a date!”
Before the two of you could react, all four kids all but disappeared around the corner in a cloud of dust. Leaving you facing Vander and utterly alone.
It was safe to say he was panicking just a little bit.
“Vander? Do you have any idea what they meant?” You asked gently, and he scrubbed a hand down his face.
“My guess is they want us to go on a date.” He said, fully prepared to hear rejection. Because who would want to go on a date with him? A middle-aged man with a stained past. His lungs twisted as he heard you take a step closer.
A smaller hand slipped into his, and he looked down from where he had been staring at Topside.
Your eyes were lit up, not with disgust at the proposition he was proposing.
But they were filled with hope for the future this relationship would bring.
#vander x reader#vander x you#arcane x reader#arcane x you#arcane x y/n#arcane league of legends#arcane: league of legends#arcane vander x reader#fairy writes
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The Prince Regent
aemond x sister smut
A/N: I haven't given yall smut in so long :( pls forgive me
WARNINGS: smut!, incest, murder (bye bye aegon)
WORD COUNT: 1,475 words
You feel ill when your brothers come back from battle. Your husband, Aegon is a step away from death and Aemond is… different. It all unnerves you.
You spend hours visiting your husband on his sickbed but there’s only so much you can take before you have to retire to your own chambers. You hated Aegon sometimes but you truly never wanted such a thing to befall him. You miss when he was healthy.
“Sister.” You don’t think you even heard Aemond knock before he’s in your room.
Your eyes well with tears when you see him, knowing it’s okay to break a little when in the presence of your dearest brother. “Aemond…” you let out in a whimper.
His face softens as he immediately makes his way over to you, pulling you into his strong arms. “It’s just all so awful.” You say.
“Oh my poor, dōna riña.” He murmurs into your hair, rubbing circles on your back. You’re such a fragile little thing. Aegon was terrible to you. Your twin can hardly understand why you’re so upset that he’s bedridden.
“I just… don’t want my children to grow up without their father. They’ve already lost their brother. They don’t understand why he won’t come to play with them anymore. There’s no way for me to explain it to them… I don’t know how to help them.”
“Aegon was a shit father anyhow.” He comments.
“Aemond.” You give him a scolding look through your tears.
“You can’t say I’m being untruthful. Besides, I can care for and love your children better than he ever could.”
“You are so careful with them. I am appreciative of it of course.” You murmur, feeling comforted by your brother’s gentle touch. “But you shouldn’t speak so unkindly of our King while he lies on what might be his deathbed.”
“If it is his deathbed, then I am the king.” Aemond responds.
“Would it not be Jaehaera as queen?” You question. Should it not be your daughter who would rule next?
“It would be difficult to have a girl heading our cause when Rhaenyra is also a woman. Besides, i’ve been named Prince Regent. I’m the king in all but name… and all kings need a queen.” He gives you a look that you can’t quite place.
“I am sure the Baratheon girl will be ever so pleased when she is informed of her rise in status.” You murmur.
“I won’t have dark haired, Baratheon mutts as my heirs.”
“Then who shall you marry? One of Vaemond’s granddaughters perhaps? I don’t think a Velaryon is worth breaking such a beneficial betrothal.” You don’t see it yet. You haven’t caught on to what his words mean, his treasonous words.
“I shan't break my engagement for some woman I care not for... I’ll break it for you.”
Your jaw drops. “Aemond, that is absurd.”
“I will quell their anger by arranging a match with Daeron. A third son is as good as a second.”
“You know that isn’t what i’m shocked by.”
“Are you truly shocked?” He tilts your chin up so you have no choice but to look him in the eyes. “I know it is I that you desire, not Aegon.”
“Aegon is my husband.” You protest.
“Aegon is a useless cunt who will be dead soon.” Aemond says firmly. “And when he’s dead, i’ll be king.”
“He might yet live and if he does, i’ll still be his wife. I won’t be an adulterer.” You push away from your brother, creating an appropriate distance.
“I would never make such a woman of you. All I ask is that you answer my one question. If Aegon were dead, would you choose to marry me?”
There’s a long pause as you think about your answer. It would be treasonous to respond truthfully… but it is Aemond asking the question. You can’t lie to your beloved brother.
“I would.”
There’s a certain glint in his eye when you give him your answer. He leaves the room without saying anything else.
Over the next few hours, you try your hardest not to overthink. The way Aemond phrased the question, the way he looked at you after you answered, it was unnerving. You know your brother wants nothing more than to take care of you but he could never harm Aegon, could he?
Your question was answered by morning. Aegon is dead.
It wasn’t Aemond. You tell yourself, repeating it for a week. You only left your room when it was time for the funeral. You don’t speak to anyone, especially not him. Tonight, you don’t sleep, trying to distract yourself with what most would call silly feminine interests.
“Sister?” You look up from your needlework to see him standing there, stoically in the middle of your room.
“The hour is late, Aemond.” You say, confused by his presence and more than nervous by it.
“I know. You should be sleeping. I thought you would be sleeping.”
“I couldn’t find my rest.” You whisper.
“Why?”
He knows why.
“It was by your hand, was it not?”
“I hardly know of what you speak.” He brushes you off.
“I am no fool.”
“I know you aren’t. That is why you’ll never say it aloud.”
“Is that a threat?” You ask and there's a visible pang of hurt shown on his visage.
“I would never do anything to harm you.” He states firmly, getting closer and taking the needlework out of your hands so he may hold them instead.
“But you would covet your brother’s wife as he lies on his deathbed. He has been cold for but a week; have you already come to claim me?”
“You desire to be claimed by me.” He states, irritated by your current disdain for him.
“I desire a good man by my side.”
“Then why do you think of me when Aegon fucks you?” Aemond grabs your wrists, pulling you closer to him. You gasp. He’s never spoken to you like this before.
“Aemond…” You breathe out, appalled.
“You toil with this decision so i’ll make it for you.” His right hand slides down to your waist and he pulls you flush against him. “We will consummate tonight.”
He kisses you with rough passion, stealing your breath from your lips. Your brother has waited too long for this and will not wait a second longer. He pushes you back until you reach the bed, the two of you falling atop it.
“I will have you now, my wife… my beautiful bride.”
“This is… we can’t.”
“The King can do as he pleases.”
He wastes no time, reaching his hand up your skirts until he finds your small clothes. He rubs gently through the fabric, smirking as he feels the wetness before he pulls the garment down.
“Be gentle, Aemond.” It was never a request you would make of Aegon. Such a sentiment would do you no good with a man who takes pleasure in pain.
“Of course, my dōna riña but by the end of the night, my babe will be in your belly.”
You gaze up at him as he unbuckles his trousers, such a sweet nymphet was wasted on a bastard like Aegon.
You wince as his cock splits your tight cunt and he marvels at the grimace. He must be much more well endowed than the dead king to warrant such a response.
“Shh, I'm sorry. I know it hurts. Poor sweet angel.” He lets you adjust to him, wanting you to enjoy the times you will lie together just as he does.
When he no longer sees pain strewn across your face, he begins to thrust. A little choked gasp leaves your throat as he does; you never expected to enjoy such a feeling.
“Hmm, you like that?” He taunts, beginning to pick up to a pace that you can’t handle.
“Oh, it’s too fast.” You whimper, but he doesn’t slow. Your big brother knows what you can take. Besides, there’s a bit of sadism in every Targaryen man.
He begins to pound into you, relishing each moan his baby sister makes. It’s sick, but nothing brings him more pleasure than knowing he will be a better husband than Aegon in every way possible.
Aemond hooks one of your legs over his shoulder and the new angle lets him get even deeper inside you.
“Gods, you’re just sucking me in.” He wanted so desperately to last longer as he begins to furiously rub your pearl but the way you squeeze around him makes it hard.
His hips stutter but he knows you’re close too as you begin to spasm around him. He digs himself into you with one final thrust before painting your walls white with his seed.
“We will have the wedding this week, my darling. I’ll wait no longer for you.”
comment to be added to the taglist
#aemond targaryen#aemond smut#aemond targaryen smut#aemond#aemond targaryen x reader#hotd#hotd smut#hotd season 2
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Reserve
pairing: max verstappen x f2 driver reader
word count: 1.3k
Summary: Max meets a woman at the 2023 FIA Prize Giving ceremony, but don't exchange numbers. Months later they meet again and sparks fly more than ever.
Warning: Max’s personality is not accurate.
MANY INACCURACIES (take place in Baku, but the place is the Met) also didn't know what to title this
----
2023 FIA Prize Giving ceremony
Y/n ascends the staircase with the wind in her dress and her hair blowing in the wind. She felt better than she ever had. Even though her boyfriend, well now ex-boyfriend, broke up with her a week ago. He had said some things that had made her feel worthless. Now she felt on top of the world. She had won the Formula 2 Rookie of the Year. It had been a crazy tear for you.
“Y/N,” was all you were surrounded by. Many reporters and fans were yelling for your attention. At the top of the stairs, you stopped and looked over your shoulder as a pose. A man near the middle of the stairs caught your eye. He was sharply dressed in a nice suit.
After enough time to get the shot, you continued through the doors. Your team principal met you halfway to the team’s table.
“Y/N, you look great. I got an email today from the Team Principal of the Red Bull F1 team, Christian Horner. He wants to talk to you.”
“When does he want to meet?”
“He wants you to meet him after the awards.”
“Ok, you’ll know where I’ll be”
He walked away as you made your way to the bar, getting your favorite drink. A man finds his place next to you.
“Hey, how are you?” he said with an accent.
“Good, you?”
“Great, now since I met such a beautiful woman,” he flirted.
“Aww, what level are you in?”
“F1.”
“Ooh, fancy pants here,” you said while smiling. “Guess I’m too poor for you.”
“But you’re not ‘poor’ on the beauty scale.” He smiles, and you meet his crystal-blue eyes.
“Thanks, if looks could lap, you’d be a world champion,” you joke to him, hitting his arm with a dopey smile.
“Jokes on you, actually, I am,” he says with all seriousness.
The smile on your face dropped. “What?!”
“The champion of your heart,” he smiles detecting your stand-offness to his previous comment. “So can I have your number?”
“If you buy the next round.”
“Bartender, can you put all of her drinks on my tab tonight,” he says as the bartender nods.
“Well, thank you, but for that, I can repay you by giving you my number,” you said as you trailed your finger on his shoulder.
“What if I don’t want it?” he says ‘sarcastically’ but you don’t catch on.
The face you made you kill someone. Your face dropped farther than it ever had. You might even have to get Botox for the frown lines after that. You set your drink on the bar and back away.
“Thank you for the drinks, have a great night,” you said before turning on your heel and walking away.
“Wait,” you hear him slightly yell but you ignore it. Max starts to hate himself for being sarcastic. It was hard for him to make friends or talk to girls. His abusive past makes him overthink things so much so that he blocks the best of people out.
You strut to your team’s table. As the ceremony commences, your eyes meet the Caribbean blue eyes. You fight the urge to smile at him, instead you force your deepest frown and even add a roll of the eye.
Your award was announced. You walk up the stairs with a huge smile. As you look out at the audience, you feel a sense of accomplishment. You seem calm and collected but inside you are so nervous.
“Thank you to everyone, my team, my engineers, my strategists, my family, my friends. All that you have done for me has brought me to this very moment. No words can express how thankful I am for everything. All the blood, sweat, and tears I have put into this sport have finally paid off. If I cried on your shoulder, an extra thank you to you. Thank you,” you finished.
The rest of the night went by in a blur until your team principal came to you with three men following him.
“Y/n, this is Christian Horner, team principal of the Red Bull F1 Team.”
“Mr. Horner, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Miss (your last name), likewise, congratulations on your F2 Rookie of the Year.”
“Thank you,” you politely replied.
“I would like you to meet my drivers: World Champion, Max Verstappen and his teammate, Sergio Perez.”
You looked at the man he called Max and looked him up and down and said, “Champion of your heart, my ass.”
“Y/n, a word please,” your team principal grasped the upper portion of your arm. “What the hell, they’re offering their reserve driver to you. Don’t act normal please.”
You walked back to the group of Red Bulls. “My apologies, Mr. Perez, a pleasure to meet you,” you apologized completely ignoring Max.
“Y/n, after careful consideration, Red Bull would like to offer you the position of our reserve driver. You can take as much time as you need to decide,” Christian said.
“Thank you, sir. I will think about it.”
Christian and his boys walked away after giving their farewells.
—-- A couple of months later—
Bahrain Grand Prix
“Here we are in Bahrain, preparing for the first race of the 2024 Formula One championship quest, the 2024 Bahrain Grand Prix. It is a sunny day of 20 degrees Celsius or 69 degrees Fahrenheit. There are no new drivers to the starting grid but there are changes to the reserve drivers mainly, the Formula 2 Rookie of the Year, (your name). She had amazing testing results here last week. One of our reporters is with her now.” the Sky Sports host said.
“Y/N, welcome to your first grand prix as a reserve driver. Are there any feelings of accomplishment yet?” she asked.
You laughed, “Not really, I am so happy to have this opportunity. Thank you to Christian and the Red Bull team for trusting me. It really won’t settle in until I’m in one of the cars during a race but yes I am so happy and excited to be here.”
“As someone new to F1, how is having Max Verstappen as a teammate?”
“I mean, he’s different than my previous mates. We have our downs but nothing that makes me lose sleep, I don't know about him though.”
“Well, thank you for your time, I hope you enjoy this grand prix.”
Sometime later after Max won the race, he found you at the back of the garage and cornered you.
“Do you think I lost sleep over that night in Baku?” he said with a low volume.
“You were the one who came running after me so maybe.”
“You would be right, every day I think about what compelled me to say that and I still don’t know what did?”
“I know what did. You were attracted to me so your first instinct was to pull me in but when I got too close you pushed me away, that’s not your fault.”
“My dad made me work so hard, so when you came in so easily I thought it was too good to be true,” he said.
“I feel the same,” you whisper.
“You do?” he whispered back.
“Yeah,” you smiled.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Yeah,”
His lips met your softly. You were hidden in the back of the garage so no one could see this intimate moment.
After you separated your lips, he asked, “Can I take you to dinner tonight?”
“Yeah, you know where to pick me up,” you say slipping out from between him and the wall to go back to the front of the garage, anxiously waiting for the night to come.
#f1 fic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#sergio checo pérez#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#bahrain gp 2024#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x you#f1
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collab of the year || matt sturniolo
matt x fem!reader
summary: matt invites you to meet some friends
warnings: none I think maybe a little suggestive
word count: 1,2k
a/n: hope you like this one
I was in my bed scrolling through twitter and all I had on my page was videos and pictures from Tara's party. Which Chris and Nick attended while me and Matt had a little gateway trip for our anniversary. They called him on FaceTime and that ended up in Tara's vlog. Everyone thinks it was hilarious including me. I also loved all of the memes with Matt going to bed while the party was happening.
When we came back boys told us about everyone and that they really had fun. I was really happy about that because they usually don't really go out that much. Especially not to parties.
I stopped scrolling when I felt arms around my body.
"Good morning" I heard Matt's raspy, morning voice.
I smiled when I felt little kisses on the back of my neck sending shivers down my body.
"Morning..." I said and turned around to face him.
I smiled when he opened his eyes.
"I am surprised it's like 9 and you're up" I laughed and fixed his hair from his eyes.
"Well...I have things to do" He said and smiled.
"Like what?" I raised my eyebrow.
"Like...you" He pulled me to himself even more and I was about to kiss him when I heard loud knocks on the door.
"Are you guys up? And dressed? Can I come in?" Chris said from the other side of the door and I looked at Matt and kissed his cheek and moved away a little.
"Yes... come in" I said and Matt growled and covered his head with a pillow.
Chris came into the room and looked at us.
"I have news!" He sat on the bed next to Matt.
"Me too, I actually hate you both right now" Matt said and threw the pillow from his face at Chris.
I rolled my eyes and sat up. I put my hair into the bun and looked at Chris.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Tara invited us for dinner to celebrate 1 mil, she wants us to meet Johnnie. Jake, Larray, Sam and Colby are going to be there too. Nick also said that they can come over here after dinner and we could hang out. y/n you will finally meet Tara!" Chris said.
I looked at him. Pure panic in my eyes. I need to clean up this place.
"Well... Then I should start to clean already" I said. That was kinda my thing. Cleaning when I am stressing out.
I spent half of my day cleaning the house, even if it was already pretty clean. Boys helped me a little, mostly Matt. Chris said he is going to clean his own room. Do I believe him? No.
"So should I like match the energy and go all black?" I asked Matt going through my clothes. I already did my make up and was standing in my underwear trying to find something I like.
"I already told you, wear whatever feels like good for you" He said looking at his PC.
"I hate men" I said dramatically and texted Nick to come downstairs.
He walked into the room and looked at me.
"Wow... I bet the other triplet does not get this view. All because I'm gay, how lucky..." He said sarcastically.
"I get more than that..." Matt blinked at him with a smirk on his face.
"Shut the fuck up, my room is above you, I fucking know" He said.
"What do I wear? Help me…He is useless" I looked at Nick pointing at Matt.
"Can't you wear that dress you bought last time we went thrift shopping? And the platform docs with it" He said and went to my jewelry box.
"Those are cool, wear this too" He put a chain and some small hoops on the dresser.
"Thank you Nick" I smiled at him and started to put the outfit together.
"See learn that for the next time" I told Matt when his brother left the room.
"Just to be sure... Did Chris saw you in your underwear?" He asked and I laughed. Can't believe he was still thinking about it.
"Probably? I don't know, who cares...Matt maybe I am just going to stay home" I said and sat on the bed.
"You literally need to stop overthinking that. You know that I also am not a fan of big groups but this people are really cool and chill. It's gonna be okay" He looked at me and smile.
"You look beautiful as always and everyone is going to love you" He stood up from his chair and came up to me.
He put both of his hands on my cheeks and gave me a quick kiss. I smiled and wrinkled my nose.
"Alright..alright.. you will ruin my make up Matthew" I took his hands of my face giving him one more quick kiss.
The dinner went great. They all were really nice. Me and Matt were the only couple there so sometimes they made little jokes about it. I felt very welcome even if I wasn't part of their world. I tried to stay out from the cameras usually. But I didn't want to be rude so when they were filming stories I was on it. I was kinda stressing about people talking shit about me.
When we came to our house and at first we talked and played games together. Then we decided to go to topgolf but before that they wanted to film some TikToks.
"You and Matt are literally a goal couple. He is just so sweet checking on you all the time. Look at him he is scared I'm going to eat you" Tara said to me and I laughed.
"Yes.. he is the best" I looked at Matt with a big smile.
"Do you wanna film TikTok with me? I love your outfit so much" She asked me and i said "fuck it if tara yummy asks you to make a TikTok with her you make a TikTok with her" in my head.
"Okay...I usually only post for my friends but if you want I'm in" I smiled.
We decided to use "Tara Yummy is a mindset" audio since we kinda match with our outfits. She was a real sweetheart and such a funny person. They all were.
"I am really glad you are having fun tonight" Matt said while we were driving to top golf. He put his hand on my knee and smiled.
"It's really fun I'm glad we are doing this. And that you guys are meeting more people" I said and looked at the back at his brothers.
"Girl your and Taras TikTok is so viral" Nick showed me and my eyes went big for the numbers.
"Fuck... that's crazy" I said and Chris laughed.
"Told you that you should start to film as well" He said.
"No thank you..I just couldn't say no to Tara" I laughed.
Topgolf was souper fun. I won with Matt for the first time since forever so I was so happy. Everyone had so much fun and we filmed a lot. Boys were teaching Tara how to play and she looked so cute with the club because she is just so small.
"Matt is sad because his girlfriend is better than him" Jake said while we were on our way to the cars.
"Poor Matty" Chris made a sad face.
I laughed at them and looked at Matt. He just shook his head.
"Well...he is a winner anyways, he has the hottest girl in town, I dare you to show her to the world Matt" Tara said and I blushed.
I BLUSHED. WTF
"Are you flirting with me?" I looked at her and she laughed.
I might have a new best friend.
#chris sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo x reader
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Jealousy, Jealousy- Chris Sturniolo
Summary: You got a little jealous and insecure about chris’ relationship with Tara, the fans don’t know about you so it makes your thoughts a little worse.
Warnings: Arguments, inscure, fluff, use of Y/N, kinda Asshole chris, TW! co comparison
A/N: I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS BABIES?! also a PSA!! no hate to tara i love her sm she’s absolutely amazing and beautiful this is jus a FICTIONAL story!!
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
It was an average Tuesday for me sitting in my apartment waiting for chris to come over so we can have our normal once a week movie night at my house. i knew chris had a video to film, i assumed it was for his youtube channel cause normally they film either on monday or tuesday for their wednesday videos. The endless scroll of tiktok was genuinely getting exhausting, considering chris and i had both decided to keep our relationship private until we felt comfortable enough to share with his fans, i always get chris fan edits all over my for you page, which was nice, sometimes i send him the good ones to see his reaction, but as im scrolling through tiktok a video popped up of chris and his newer friend tara, singing ‘Primadonna’ by Marina, now normally i don’t get jealous or insecure because i know he’s mine and im his, he ALWAYS made sure i was okay with anything, but he never told me the video he was doing was with her? she had this newer series on her channel called ‘Stuck in a car with..’ and last weeks was Nick, so i’m assuming this weeks was chris.. but why wouldn’t he tell me? he tells me everything? why was she smiling at chris like that? does she know he has a girlfriend? did he tell her? why was this the song choice? why was he not telling me it was Tara that he was filming with? i trust chris why am i overthinking so much? why am i questioning him? do i have a right to question things? should i test him? should i just ask? what if he gets mad at me for being like this?
A billion thoughts were flooding my once at eased mind with thoughts of Insecurities and Jealousy. she’s a beautiful woman, amazing style, she’s funny, she’s a lot of things i’m not, but does that matter to chris?
i get up off my bed to head to the bathroom to run me a nice warm bath to see if that’ll ease my mind, i step in the bathroom and turn on the light and start the water and stop in the bathroom mirror and stare. i just sit here for a good 4 minutes looking at myself, comparing myself to her, was it her perfect skin? her perfect figure? i let out a frustrated sigh and hop in the tub and my tense body softens at the hot water absorbing into my skin. i lean back in the tub and stare at the ceiling. questioning myself what i’m gonna do.
it’s now about 6pm, i’ve taken a bath, nervous baked, cookies, brownies, and a chocolate cake, baking always seems to calm my nerves down, i’ve watched 7 movies, no word from chris which is weird, but what’d i expect.
Speak of the fucking devil.
Chrissy 🎀
Hey ma, sorry i’ve not responded, we just got done filming and we ran a few errands and im on the way to your house now baby.
this motherfucker, did he just lie to my face? so he’s now believing his lie that he was filming with his brothers?
Y/N
doors open 🙃
maybe i should just play it cool, maybe i should just see how long he cracks? nah i shouldn’t do that thats some toxic shit.
i hear my doorbell ring a couple times, i get off the couch and walk to the door and open it up to find chris standing there in his light blue Fresh Love hoodie smiling at me.
“Hi baby” he smiles at me holding his arms out expecting a hug from me like i normally do but i can’t help but stare into his eyes and my once harsh gaze softens at his smile and i walk closer giving him a hug and he kisses my head.
i pull away from his soft hug and let him in. as he walks in he notices my disarray of a house, dishes everywhere, flour is scattered over my kitchen counter he has a puzzled look on his face.
“what’s with all those dishes and stuff?” he points around at my kitchen.
“oh that?… yeah i uh started watching tiktok waiting for you and i started baking..” my voice trails off.
“okay..” he starts “anyways… what movie do you wanna watch” he walks with me to my couch and sits down with his arm draped over my shoulders.
“i don’t wanna watch a movie” i smile “i just wanna sit and talk to you for a little bit” he smiles softly at me.
“what do you wanna talk about ma” he chuckles smiling at me
“umm how was filming?” i drop my head playing with my rings on my fingers.
“oh yeah it was good, a lot of good laughs, but it’s how we normally are” he laughs nervously.
“so just you and your brothers?” i lift my head up smiling at him. at this point i blacked out, i completely lost control of my voice, i trust him but why wasn’t he telling me the truth?
“yeah, we was filming for wednesdays new video” he looks me deeply in my eyes, straight up lied to me.
my lips kiss my teeth and i nod, “so Tara is your brother?” i spit out.
his eyes widen, and his face goes pale “Y/N, it’s not what it looks like, look i know me and you have been together for a year and a half in private, she knows i have a girlfriend who i love” he places his hand on my knee rubbing circles on it.
i nod “yeah so why didn’t you just tell me you were with tara? then when i asked you completely lied to my face, yeah i saw the fucking tiktok you guys made, and best believe me, the comments on that fucking video? a BUNCH of boat emojis, and ���oh the way he looks at her’ what the fuck chris?” my voice cracks with anger and sadness
“Y/N i just know how you are..” he looks down playing with his thumbs.
“HOW I AM? chris i have done nothing but trust you, im sorry for expecting the bare minimum by i don’t know my boyfriend to tell me that he’s filming a video with someone? then not lie to me about who he was with?” i yell standing up off the couch.
“Y/N sit down, talk to me ma, i promise it’s not like that” chris starts trying to grab my hand, i jerk my hand back.
“no you’re not gonna ‘ma’ me, at all, you lied chris, u caught you in a lie, if i would have never seen that fucking tiktok, you would have never fucking told me about it chris, what the fuck?” i pace around my living room in anger and in almost tears
“Y/N…baby” he gets off the couch trying to calm me down.
“no chris, get away from me, get out, i don’t wanna see you” i sit on the floor next to my window in fetal position with my head between my knees.
“Y/N pls don’t push me out” he starts “please, i love you” he squats down at eye level with me
“give me one second chris” i stand up and go out the door unlocking my phone and dialing matt’s number.
“Y/N? what’s up?” matt answers
“come get your brother, i can’t look at him” my voice shakes and tears form my eyes.
“what happened Y/N” his voice panicked
“i should let chris tell you, just please matt?” i single tear drops from the left side of my face
“i’m on my way” he sighs.
i end the call walking back inside and chris is sitting on the couch with his face in his hands as if he’s stressed.
“your brother is on his way Christopher” i sigh walking to my room and locking the door, obviously he followed me sitting at my door with his head leaning against the door.
“Y/N please… i just know since our relationship is private how sometimes you can get insecure” he starts; not helping the situation.
“Chris, leave, you’re not helping” i start crying
“fine, you know fuck this, i tried explaining myself, you don’t believe me, ive tried, now im the problem” he sighs dragging his feet and slamming my front door which causes me to jump and start harshly crying. i hear a ping from my phone assuming its chris i turn it around to find Nick frantically texting me.
Nick Bean 🫘
Y/N??
WHAT DID MY BROTHER DO?!
ARE YOU GUYS BROKEN UP?
WHO I NEEDA FIGHT??
i guess news travels fast in the sturniolo household.
Y/N 🎀
no we’re not broken up, he didn’t tell me that he was filming with tara, told me he was filming with you and matt, but i found out from a tiktok.. all of his comments were shipping him, and i know our relationship is private but like nick… i love your brother so much..
i start crying harder then i’ve cried before. i never would have thought chris would make me cry like this, never, he’s always been so communicative with me. why start this now?
Nick Bean 🫘
what the fuck..
why?
but i have to say one thing Y/N, you know he would never leave you, i can say that, i can’t justify his actions but i can say he loves you dearly.
was i overthinking? he lied. was i being dramatic? he lied.
Y/N 🎀
i know nick, but i jus need a couple days to cool down.. that’s all im asking, a couple days to get his ass straight
i put my phone down and power it off so i can sleep without interruptions, or at least try and attempt to sleep.
about an hour later i woke up, tears staining my face, mascara still running down my cheeks, my heart aches. why would chris do something like this.
Two Days Later
the past two days i’ve heard nothing from anyone, nick hasn’t checked on me, matt hasn’t, and i expected chris not to check on me considering he’s playing the victim card.
New Message Requests from Ms.Yummy on instagram!
hm? tara texted me? god she’s probably the last person i expected to hear from.
Mrs.Yummy
Hey girl! so i heard about you and chris! i just want to say he did tell me all about you, he bragged so much about you!! sorry if things got mixed up between me and chris!! nothing is going on between us! i hope you can forgive him! <3
so i’m guessing chris texted her. wow. he can text her but not me? are you kidding me? i clicked on her profile and found myself gazing at her pictures, looking at the way she does her eyeliner, the way she dresses, her smile, her nonexistent acne, her perfect makeup. fuck i’m doing it again, but i’m not answering her.
Movies, sleep, cry, shower. that’s my routine for the last 2 days. i can’t live without him. maybe he’s right. maybe i am insecure. maybe i am jealous.
fuck it.
Y/N
come over at 5. we need to talk.
i texted chris. we needed to fix whatever problems we had. weather it’s me being insecure and jealous or chris lying to me. we needed to fix things.
Chrissy 🎀
i’m coming over now.
fuck. i had no time to get ready, i looked like shit, felt like shit, still had stains on my face from tears. never mind, i didn’t care, i just needed my boyfriend back.
about an hour waiting for him i was in between dozing off and staying awake, i hear keys jingling at my door. damnit he has a spare key. he slowly walks in holding flowers and my favorite gummy candies and chocolate.
“Hey Y/N i’m sorry it took so long, i ubered all around LA, you know how embarrassing that is? matt refused to drive me anywhere today. him and nick are both mad at me since the whole…yk?” he started nervous smiling.
“these are pretty, and thanks for the food” i say walking up to him with a straight face, and grabbing things from his hand and placing them on my kitchen counter.
“so now what?” he placed his hand on the counter.
“i don’t know chris, You told Tara about our relationship problems obviously, she took your side” i rolled my eyes.
“look i know i fucked up Y/N, i should have just told you about filming with Tara, i shouldn’t have lied..” he starts
“you didn’t just lie Chris. you lied to my fucking face even when i questioned you.. THEN you told Tara about us and she fucking texted me all silly and ass kissing me.. how do you think i’ve felt? genuinely curious how do you think i’ve been doing?” i sit on the counter with my arms crossed staring at him looking at the floor.
“well uhm by the looks of things around here, and your stained cheeks, not good…” he continued to look at the ground moving his ring on his finger around in circles around his finger.
“chris you’ve got me looking in the mirror differently thinking i’m flawed, i mean look at Tara? she’s fucking beautiful, she’s skinny, she’s funny, she’s got amazing style, and definitely good taste in men if she’s interested in you..” my voice fades off and i start breathing in and out trying not to cry.
“fuck” he whispers “Y/N you’re all of that and more… no i’m not making this up, you’re absolutely the right woman for me, i should have told you about tara, im just saying i should have never made you feel different about yourself, i shouldn’t have lied, and i shouldn’t have lied to you. i’m sorry Y/N, for everything, im sorry for making you feel any less then perfect, you’re so very perfect to me” he grabs both sides of my face looking at me deep in the eyes. “you” he kisses my forehead “are” he kisses my right cheek “so” he kisses my left cheek “perfect” he finally places a little kiss on my lips making me smile.
“there’s that beautiful smile i’ve missed” he says still cupping my cheeks making a soft pink color appear on my cheeks.
“i’m sorry chris, i may have overreacted but im sorry for causing an emotional distress upon our relationship” i softly smile.
he places his hands down besides my legs on the counter “that doesn’t matter anymore. i promise from here on out, no matter what, no matter who, i will tell you who im filming with, okay?” he holds out his pinkie, i roll my eyes and intertwining my pinkie with his and smiling.
“i just want you Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, only you, one day i’m gonna make you take my last name, i can PROMISE you that” he says kissing my lips softly.
“i only want you Christopher Owen Sturniolo” i smile back softly giving him another peck on the cheek “can we take a nap please… i haven’t been sleeping good lately… and i just want you to hold me” i look down and back up at chris with his blue eyes gazing down at me smiling.
“yes but i have to do something before anything okay? but you can’t look” he smirks
“i’m confused but okay..” i smile softly.
Liked by Nicksturniolo, Mattsturniolo, MommyYN and others
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ChrisSturniolo WHOOPSIE FINGER SLIPPED.. Hard launch :) @MommyYn
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“CHRIS” i drag out the ‘s’ “no way..” i almost had tears in my eyes.
“now the entire world can see that you are mine and i am yours” he smiled kissing my lips softly “now we can take a nap.. come here ma” he opens his arms out for me i lay down on the couch resting my head on his chest and he kisses my head whispering sweet nothings to me, as i fall asleep peacefully for the first time in 2 days with my boyfriend.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
A/N pt 2 I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THIS!! again no hate to tara, i love tara, she’s an icon to me, this is completely fictional!! I LOVE YOU ALL
XOXO
Gabs 💋
#Spotify#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo#tara yummy
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ʜᴏᴡ ʟᴏɴɢ
(ʏᴜɴᴊɪɴ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅ��ʀ) ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ
plot: yunjins been cheating. but she didn’t mean it … right?
notes: toxic yunjin, dumbass y/n again, istg guys the only things that gain attention iz my karina and winter fics 💔💔
you sit on the couch, your phone clutched in your hand, staring at the screen, waiting for yunjin's name to pop up. it doesn’t. hours pass, and the ticking of the clock feels like a taunt. where is she? you tell yourself it’s nothing—she’s probably stuck at practice or maybe went out with the girls, but that nagging feeling in your chest grows heavier. it’s been too long.
finally, you hear the door creak open. she stumbles in, not her usual put-together self. she looks messy, worn-out. the smell of alcohol hits you before she even speaks. when she does, her voice is low, slurred.
"hey, baby," she tries to smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes. her gaze is distant, foggy, like she's not really here with you.
"where have you been?" you ask, trying to sound casual, but the hours of waiting twist your voice with anxiety. you hate sounding paranoid, but you can't help it anymore.
"just out with the girls. practice ran late… then drinks," she mumbles, her words stumbling out, as if she’s trying to get past them quickly.
you get up, moving closer, searching her face for something, anything, that makes sense. but her eyes—they’re empty, evasive. "why didn’t you answer my calls?"
"didn’t hear it," she shrugs, still avoiding your gaze. "too loud, i guess."
it's weak. her excuses always are. and it's not just the excuse, it's the way she says it—like she doesn’t care enough to make it believable. your stomach twists, a cold knot forming. there’s more to this, you can feel it.
"yunjin, what’s going on?" you ask, your voice wavering despite your effort to stay calm. you’ve been through this too many times to ignore the signs.
she sighs, running a hand through her hair. for a second, her tough front slips, and she looks at you, really looks at you. "i... i messed up."
your heart stops. "what do you mean?"
"i was drunk, and... i kissed someone else."
her words are like a punch to the gut, knocking the breath out of you. you take a step back, needing space to think, but your mind is spinning. "you kissed someone?"
"it didn’t mean anything," she rushes, stepping toward you, but you back away again. "it was just a stupid, drunken mistake. i swear, it only happened once."
the room feels too small now, the walls closing in. you trusted her. after everything, you trusted her, and she... "how long has this been going on?"
"what? no, i told you, it was just once—"
"how long, yunjin?" your voice is louder now, anger bubbling up. you don't want to be the fool who believed her lies for too long.
she hesitates, her eyes darting away for a moment before coming back to you. "just once," she insists, but the doubt in her eyes says otherwise. "i was drunk. it meant nothing."
you want to believe her. god, you want to believe her so badly. but the way she's been acting lately—distant, secretive—there’s more to this.
"i deserve the truth," you say, your voice shaky but firm. you’re done playing this game.
she steps closer, softening her expression like she’s trying to lure you back in. "baby, you’re overthinking this," she coos, her voice sickly sweet, the kind that used to comfort you but now just makes you feel uneasy. "it was a mistake. everyone makes mistakes."
"but you didn’t tell me," you push back, feeling a flicker of anger spark in your chest. "you hid it from me."
"because i knew you’d overreact," she snaps, her patience thinning. "you always do this. you always assume the worst."
her words sting, making you question yourself. am i overreacting? was it just a one-time mistake? you’ve been second-guessing yourself so much lately, it’s hard to tell anymore.
yunjin’s close now, her eyes locked on yours, her voice dropping lower, more intimate. "you know i love you, right?"
"yeah, but—"
she cuts you off, cupping your face in her hands. "i love you," she whispers, her thumb brushing over your cheek, her touch soft but with an underlying tension. "you’re the one i come home to. don’t let something this small ruin us."
her words start to blur the lines in your mind. maybe it’s not as big of a deal as it feels. maybe you are overthinking. she’s here, isn’t she? but then, the memory of all those nights alone, waiting, wondering—those doubts flare up again.
"yunjin, i can’t just forget this," you murmur, feeling the weight of it all pressing down on you. "you hurt me."
for a moment, her eyes harden, just for a second, before she puts on a sad, almost pitying smile. "i know, and i’m sorry," she says, but her voice feels insincere, dripping with mockery. "but you need to stop being so paranoid. it was one kiss. do you really think i’d throw everything away for that?"
your mouth opens to respond, but she silences you, pressing a finger to your lips. "shh, don’t ruin this," she whispers, stepping even closer, her body pressing against yours. "we’re good together. you know that."
her other hand trails down your arm, sending shivers through your skin. you should push her away. you should be angry, but instead, her closeness overwhelms you, clouding your thoughts.
"just let it go," she murmurs before pulling you into a kiss, one that’s not soft or reassuring. it’s possessive, controlling, like she’s forcing you to forget everything else.
and somehow, it works. the fight drains out of you as her lips move against yours, your mind going blank. you forget the pain, the doubt, the questions. it’s just her now, her hands on you, her breath mixing with yours, until all you can feel is her.
when she pulls back, you're breathless, but not from the argument—from the way she’s made everything else disappear.
"see?" she whispers, her lips brushing your ear. "it’s just you and me, baby. nothing else matters."
you nod, your mind too hazy to argue anymore. "just us."
#fem reader#reader insert#baelabong#kpop#kpop girls#gxg fluff#gxg imagine#lesseraphim yunjin#lesseraphim x fem reader#lesseraphim x reader#le sserafim x reader#le sserafim#yunjin x you#yunjin x fem reader#huh yunjin#yunjin#yunjin le sserafim#gxg#gxg angst
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Take My Breath Away | Joel Miller
The Checklist - Breath Play
Chapter Summary | It's the overthinking that makes it hard to ask for what you want sometimes, so you ask for the thing you want most in the only way you know how - in the heat of the moment.
Chapter Warnings | Again, and as always, porn without plot. Dirty talk, fingering, unprotected PiV sex, creampie, breath play (sexual choking), peeing after sex (pls do this), softness and lots of love. No outbreak AU. No use of y/n.
Word Count | 2k
Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader
Authors Note | Oh my god what is this? Charlie finishing another series? I cannot tell you how sad I am to be saying goodbye to these two - they have turned into the two greatest loves of my life. Thanks are due to @vickywallace for sending this idea into my inbox in the first place - thank you for such a wonderful idea and for supporting this series! If you like this then please considering reblogging or commenting, it makes my life worth living! And if you'd like to support me further you can donate to my Ko-Fi.
A reminder that whilst this is part of a wider series, this can be read as a standalone if you wish.
Beautiful divider by @saradika
I no longer have a taglist, to keep up to date with my work, please follow @thetriumphantpandanotifs and turn on notifications.
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi.
It started innocently enough. Joel’s big palm resting at your collarbone when he was inside you, his teeth nipping at your earlobe. It was a fleeting moment, no added pressure, but there was still a shot of thrill that settled across you, one that made you think of that little list and the thought in the back of your mind that you wanted him to push his hand a little higher and press.
How to ask for it properly had been playing on your mind for a little while. It’s not like the two of you weren’t open with each other, you’d proved that already. And you trusted Joel with your life, you know he wouldn’t hurt you. But each night, when you sit together on the couch and go to open your mouth to talk about it, nothing happens. Mainly because it feels inconsequential to you, does it need a big conversation like some of the other things? You don’t think so.
It happens about a week later. Friday night, dinner eaten, glass of whisky drunk in front of the TV. Joel is settled on his back, glasses perched on the end of his nose as he reads a book, you’re similar, but you’re restless. You’re reading some romance novel, and like clockwork, the two love interests have just turned up to the hotel to find there’s only one bed. They don’t really hate each other anymore, and in his sleep, he’s rolled over and draped an arm over her waist, chest to her back, and she can feel how much he wants her.
You scoff a little, which pulls Joel’s attention from his own reading, to you, “That bad huh?” He asks, innocently enough.
“Just predictable.” You shrug, trying to hide the way your thighs are unconsciously rubbing together under the sheets.
“Lemme guess,” He says, setting down his own book, along with his glasses, “They hate each other, but also secretly they don’t, and they’ve just turned up to the hotel and they have to share a bed?”
You turn to him, chuckling as you look at the front and back cover, “Have you read this before?”
“No baby,” He chuckles, “It’s just they’re all the same, if it ain’t that then it’s somethin’ forbidden or she’s too happy and he’s too grumpy, just a lucky first guess.”
There’s a little more talking, and then the lights turn off, Joel turning on his side to fall asleep, but there’s that deep throb between your thighs that no matter what you do, won’t go away.
“Joel?” You whisper, poking at his arm, listen to him grumble but ultimately not reply, “Joel?” You whisper again, a little louder.
“Yes, baby?” It’s soft when he talks, not annoyed at you for keeping him awake.
“Joel, I need you.” You whisper once more.
You can hear the rustle of the sheets as he turns, then his arm wrapping around your waist, tugging you into his chest, that hand of his wandering down to cup your ass, “You feelin’ needy, baby?” He asks lowly, pressing kisses to your forehead and then your cheek until he’s kissing your mouth.
You roll onto your back, gripping onto his naked shoulders so he follows, the entire weight of his body on yours until he rests his upper body on his elbows, hands pushing your hair back from your face as he settles himself between your thighs. You can feel him, pressing against that part of you, already semi-hard and wanting, like he was struggling just as much as you to go to bed without touching you.
“You needy for me too?” You ask innocently as his lips press to your neck, he doesn’t answer, just slowly rolls his hips into yours.
There’s a moment where he reaches down between the two of you, lets his fingers brush over your folds, dipping down slightly to find you already wet. It’s not a surprise for either of you anymore, you think that there’s always some level of slickness settling between your legs whenever you see him - still not quite believing you get him all to yourself.
Joel drags his fingers up to your clit, slick dragging across your bud of nerves, a soft whimper leaving your mouth as he gently circles it. He’s taking his time, working you up slowly because he knows you don’t have anywhere to be in the morning. In a few minutes, you’re already moving your hips in time with his fingers, his mouth kissing your neck, his teeth nipping at your skin too. You’re clutching at his shoulders, nails digging half-moon shapes into his skin, when he pulls his hand away.
You’d complain until you can feel what he’s doing - his fist tight around his cock, moving up and down as he positions himself at the entrance of your cunt, tip nudging there as his mouth comes to cover your own. You’re just opening your mouth to him when he slips himself inside, slowly edging further and further inside you until he’s sheathed in your tight heat and you’re moaning into his open mouth.
He’s slow with it at first, a gentle drag of his cock in and out of you, like he’s got all the time in the world. Every time he presses into you, he moans into your mouth a little, sighs when he drags back out and it’s perfect, but you know you need more. You reach out, circle his big wrist with your hand.
“Will you…” You trail off a little, “Will you do something for me?”
He stills inside you, tip of his cock pressed so deep you could cry, “Anything for you, honey.”
“Will you put your hand on my neck?” Your voice is timid, and you’re glad you’ve kept the lights off.
There’s enough moonlight drifting in through the blinds that don’t close properly that you can still see him, but he’s shrouded in shadows too. He’s careful when he moves, pushing himself up to rest on one palm that’s pressed net to your head, the other hand being dragged exactly where you want it. He lets you rest it where you’re comfortable, just at the base, right above your collarbone.
“You tap my arm three times if you want me to stop, okay?” He asks, finally dragging his cock back out of you.
He puts a little pressure on with his hand when he thrusts back into you. The pressure is nice, but there’s something about it that doesn’t feel right, so you do exactly as he says, tap his arm three times. Joel is quick to take his hand off you, but you grab it quickly enough that he doesn’t have chance to rest it back on the bed.
“Try it a little higher.” You suggest, pulling it back so that the pad of his thumb and middle finger are pressed into the skin just under your ear.
“Like this?” He asks quietly as he repeats his movements from before, adding a tiny bit of pressure to your neck as he pushes back into your slick cunt, and yes, you think, exactly like that.
Joel keeps his hand pressed there for a few of his movements before he lightens the pressure on your throat, letting you catch your breath but keeping that wide palm resting right where you asked for it to be.
It’s a sensation you never thought you’d enjoy so much, but every time Joel’s palm tightens around your throat, there’s a rush to your brain and a throb between your legs. It’s exhilarating and there’s something about the way you trust him, literally with your life right now, to know exactly what you want and how to give it to you.
“You like that, don’t ya?” Joel rasps out above you, hips snapping into yours.
He releases the pressure from your neck again, just enough for you to be able to nod your head and bite at your lip to try and stop yourself from grinning. Joel brings the hand from your neck up to your mouth, uses the pad of his thumb to drop your lip from your mouth.
“I wanna see that smile baby.”
So you do as he says - caught in the dance of his palm pressing against your throat, your mouth falling into a grin each time, sometimes a small giggle leaving your mouth as you do, and then the release of the pressure, back and forth like that until you can feel that coil tightening low in your belly, your own hips bucking to meet his own, desperate to come apart beneath him.
“You gonna come, baby?” He asks, palm tightening once more, you can feel your walls fluttering around him, the coil pulled tight, you’re not going to last much longer, “That’s okay, I got you baby, just let go for me.”
It’s always been his voice that does it for you - the gentle lilt of that southern drawl, the way he’s always taking care of you. The coil snaps, his hand tightening just a little further as you arch up into him, much dropping open in a silent scream as pleasure floods every nerve ending in your body. You’re mildly aware of him talking you through it, showering praise over you as his own hips start to falter, hand finally torn from your neck, both of his palms settled on the mattress beside your head as he fucks you for real now.
The sound of skin slapping on skin fills the room, Joel’s ragged groans mixed with your own squeals, not quite recovered from your orgasm. You reach your hands up, settle them on his sides and look up at him.
“Want you…” You choke out, “Come inside me, Joel.”
He groans, low in his chest, body shaking as his hips stop. He lets out a moan of your name as you feel his cock throb inside you, the familiar warmth of his cum spilling inside you. Joel’s body falls forward, crowding yours as he buries his head into the crook of your neck, mouth warm as he kisses you.
You both stay like that for a while, breathing heavy until you feel his softening cock slip from you. He rolls onto his back, dragging you with him so you’re leaning against his sweat-slicked chest, fingers drawing patterns through the hair there.
Eyes filled with love, you look at him, give him a small smile as he brings a hand to your neck, tracing where his fingers had been pressing, “Looks red, baby,” His voice is gravelly, thick with sleep, “Was it okay?”
Taking hold of his wrist, you drag his hand up to your mouth and press kisses to his palm. The hand he has around your back drags you up a little and then he’s manoeuvring himself so his mouth can press kisses on the two finger marks he’s left on your skin. You think this might be the way you love him most, soft and sated, gentle and loving.
“I gotta go to the bathroom,” You whisper at him, “Stay right here okay?”
Joel reluctantly lets you go. You curse him every time you have to walk down the hall to the bathroom for not buying a home all those years ago with an en-suite, especially when, by the time you come back, he’s flat out on his back, lightly snoring.
You take a moment to stand in the doorway, look at him painted in moonlight. He’s beautiful like this, none of those worries he has etched on his face. You love him, more than you’ve ever loved anyone before.
Padding quietly over to the bed, you settle under the sheets, draping an arm over his middle, your head pillowed on his shoulder. In his sleep, he pulls you further into his body, arm over your shoulder, other hand resting on the arm you have draped across his tummy. If this is what peace feels like, then long let it last.
#Joel Miller x reader#Joel Miller x you#Joel Miller x female reader#Joel Miller x f!reader#Joel Miller#Joel Miller smut#Joel Miller fic#Joel Miller fanfic#Joel Miller fanfiction#Joel Miller fluff#Joel Miller kink#the last of us#the last of us hbo#tlou#tlou hbo#the last of us smut#tlou smut#the last of us fic#tlou fic#the last of us fanfic#tlou fanfic#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#Joel tlou#Joel Miller tlou#Pedro pascal#Joel Miller Pedro Pascal#The Checklist
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There is something confusing to me about older queer people (which is to say, older than I am, at a relatively young 24 years old) who get mad at original fiction whose worldbuilding involves neopronouns. I'm hoping maybe, ONTF, since you've been in queer spaces a lot longer than I have, you can explain why people have such a negative reaction to the idea.
Basically, I'm working on a novel based that takes white-throated sparrow biology and uses it for building blocks in the same way A/B/O takes (now debunked) wolf science and used it for building blocks. This means there are essentially four genders, the two viewed as more intelligent (brown-haired men and women) and the two viewed as more physical (white-haired men and women). Those two groups then get further divided along the lines of 'women are better at making smart decisions under pressure' and 'men are better at staying home and defending the children, as God intended'.
So it seemed natural to me that this worldwide quaternary system would result in at least some languages having pronoun sets for each of the four options. Some languages in real life have more complicated pronoun systems than that, particularly ones where there's a bunch of formal and informal pronouns. It'd also help the reader keep track of who was a part of what group without my having to turn around and state people's coloration constantly. Yes, these people are human, just as humans in A/B/O are, but society is fundamentally very different. I'm not throwing this in to just complicate things or sound smart or something. It's here because my minoring in Anthropology and majoring in Linguistics taught me language usage reflects the needs and values of a people.
The writing group I'm a part of IRL is mostly queer, mostly 40+, with some cishet women who are also present and active writers. The writing group I'm a part of on DW is mostly DWRPers, in their 30's and up, though no older than 50, and entirely queer. I did not expect these to be groups that were uncomfortable with the idea of "different world, different pronouns".
Instead the reception has ranged from suggestions it's pretentious or overthinking things to requests I reconsider doing it. I've been informed this could be seen as mocking the real life queer people who go by pronouns other than she, he, or they. One person asked if this was went to be me "artificially justifying" nonbinary pronouns and implying I didn't find them valid in the real world. That was an awkward conversation, to say the least.
In reality I wasn't really thinking about real life people who use nonbinary pronouns when I was writing. I was just asking, "Logically, wouldn't it make sense for things to work very differently under a quarternary than it does under a modern European binary?" and following my brain along to its' conclusions as it processed that.
I have gotten zero negative feedback from my queer friends my age regarding this. So obviously, generation and the experiences informing a generational context are key, here. I'm just... still lost on how anyone finds this objectionable.
Help?
--
Ahaha. Oh god.
Well, as a reader of sff in the 90s, the first reaction I have to such things is "IS THERE A CONLANG AND A MAP?" Because, man, the conlang people were some of the most tedious motherfuckers I ever had to deal with in sff spaces.
But broadly... I think the reasons queer people get annoyed about this stuff boil down to a couple of big factors:
Disrespectful children who don't know history
Idiot old people harrumphing about "history" they clearly failed to pay attention to while it was going on in the first place
I personally hate being asked to use new words most of the time. A few bits of fandom slang I'll pick up at once, but I'm usually like "Why would I call it 'spirk'? We already have 'K/S'!" *shakes cane*
If you're American, they're your "roommate", not your "flatmate". No, I don't care how much more precise this foreign term is, you pretentious wanker. (But then I'll use 'wanker' because fandom adopted that years ago...)
So my reaction to being asked to say aloud any pronoun not in very frequent circulation in my offline life is "Urrrgh. Do I have to?"
However, the reality is that people have been messing around with pronouns in English since forever. Do you see 'heo' in Modern English? No, you do not! (Not that it was gender neutral, but the point is that even words as ancient as pronouns have changed quite a bit.) The early internet was full of pronoun stuff in MUDs and the like. You had a choice of a lot more than just three in a bunch of these. People besides men and women have always been in queer communities.
So some people like to cry about neopronouns being actually neo, and they're just wrong.
As for the why do you care part...
There is a nasty habit in contemporary queer spaces to act like gay rights issues are solved. Bisexuality? Passe! etc. Gays and lesbians finally got a little mainstream acceptance only to suddenly be treated like the worst of the establishment by the queer youth. How dare?!?! It's even more egregious with bisexuality where the focus of a bunch of queer activism finally swung that way in the 90s... only to be sharply cut off in the 00s.
There's a real "You already got yours. Where's mine?" vibe to some queer discourse today, and it's directed at people who never got theirs. It shows up in demands for mentorship by people who've barely had a chance to escape a rocky start and figure out who they are themselves. It shows up in yowling about this or that bit of queer media we finally got not being progressive because it's the wrong letter of the acronym.
None of which has a damn thing to do with what pronouns you use in your novel, obviously, but I think some unresolved embattled feelings are why some older queer people are very weird about pronouns.
Some of them are also doing the old person version of throwing the weirdos under the bus to placate the normies. Respectability politics became a term long before the behavior was rife on tumblr.
--
If someone really does find it pretentious, though, and not just as a cover for crying about nonbinary identities being fake, I suspect they just remember how 1970s SFF was full of privileged anthropology students misunderstanding kinship systems from elsewhere in the world and then trying to tell everyone how ~deep~ their extremely contrived novels based on them were.
I'm not saying your writing is like this or that every one of these old sff novels was either, but when I hear "anthropology student", I groan internally. It's an instinctive reaction. It's less about the real fields and more about the bevvy of dilettantes I've run into over the years who'll say they study those things but really want to talk my ear off about Joseph fucking Campbell or the strong form of the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis or something.
--
Those birds are a really cool source of inspiration. Like with A/B/O, the first thing I wonder is how queerness works in that context and how much people like to defy their designated roles.
Omegaverse started on porn logic, so "The one I say tops always tops!" makes sense. When it gets expanded to try to make it make logical sense as a whole world, I often enjoy it, but it can break down quickly if treated as biology is law. I don't know how often the birds veer off of their set patterns, but humans certainly would.
One place where I get a strong "Oh god, this again" feeling from people's plotbunnies is when they're trying to make up a sff society that strikes me as too rigid in a way that real humans aren't. I'll see people using fake wolf biology (not just for horny reasons) but never looking at what's going on with gender in contemporary Thailand or whatever. Like... Le Guin may have made sedoretus feel plausible, but nobody I've ever seen stanning the concept as something fandom should play with has. That's probably because Le Guin was using over-complicated social norms as a thing that breaks down and causes trouble, and "This should be the next A/B/O!" posts are treating it as something that actually works and is a good way to get the pair you don't ship separated while shipping poly.
"It'd also help the reader keep track of who was a part of what group without my having to turn around and state people's coloration constantly."
This, in particular, gives me that cold shudder of recognition from when Homestuck fandom was everywhere and everyone wanted to over-explain those stupid playing card suits and why I should care.
Your concept sounds neat, and I think a set of four pronouns could easily make sense there...
But I also think that if people need the pronouns to keep track of coloration, you haven't set up a system that feels organic enough or haven't given enough cues about how characters are treating each other or why. Use the pronouns too, but just keep that in mind. It's like the "m/m is hard because the pronouns don't tell me whose hand is where" problem. It's almost never actually a pronoun problem.
--
Anyone else have thoughts here?
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"Spencer Reid, inked" (Spencer Reid x tattoo artist!reader!)
Part of the "We are not gonna make it" writing challenge @aperrywilliams and I are hosting during October.
Event Masterlist - Main Masterlist
Summary: Spencer gets his first tattoo
Word count: 1.978
Warnings: None
I hated feeling like a cliché. But I was, at least at the moment. That’s what everybody would say if they knew I was going through a middle-age crisis. There was no other way to call it. I was well aware of the symptoms. I was already forty, single, reconsidering my job options and looking for a new career after almost twenty years working for the FBI.
And the worst symptoms of them all: I was about to get my first tattoo.
Yes, me. Spencer Walter Reid, germaphobe.
It hadn’t been an easy decision. God, it hadn’t been an easy year. Everything seemed so useless and pointless at a certain moment like I had wasted so much time overthinking, overanalyzing, over… everything. And I had forgotten one simple thing: living.
So now at forty years old, I want to start living. And one thing I always imagined I would do but never really thought I could do was get a tattoo.
Garcia recommended a shop in town. She is the only one who knows I’m planning to do this because a part of me is very embarrassed to share my crisis with my friends. I know they wouldn’t make fun of me, but it’s not something I wanna bring up in any conversation, except for Pen. She is one of my closest friends and I know she would never judge me, or make fun of my insecurities. Actually, when I told her my plans, she even asked if I wanted her to tag along and support me.
- “Thank you, Garcia. But I think this is something I wanna do alone.”
- “I get it, boy genius. Just know that I will be a phone call away in case you need me.”
The tattoo shop she recommended isn’t very busy when I walk in, and a little belle announces my arrival.
- “Hey! Do you have an appointment?”- a guy asks from the desk and I hesitantly walk over. I’m starting to second-guess this whole plan. Me? Getting a tattoo? Really?
- “Hi, yes. I talked with (Y/N) on the phone.”
- “(Y/N)!”- the guy yells- “Your eleven am is here!”
- “I’ll be right there!”
Garcia said this girl is the best tattoo artist she knows and that she is very soft and gentle, which is exactly what I think I need if I’m getting my first tattoo. Right, I don’t even know what I wanna get. I think I should have thought about that before booking this appointment. Maybe I’m gonna waste this woman’s time today and she will do a bad tattoo as revenge. I should probably just leave.
- “Hey! Spencer, right?”- I hear my name and turn around. But no words come out of my lips ‘cos I was sure I was leaving a second ago, but now… now I should really start talking.
- “Yes, I’m Spencer. Hi!”- I wave awkwardly as she stares at me with a big smile.
- “Nice to meet you, can I get you anything? Coffee? water?”
- “Thank you, I’m good.”- she walks over to a couch and invites me to sit with her. Garcia didn’t mention the tattoo artist she recommended me was so beautiful and I’m feeling more nervous now than I was when I first got here. And I was considerably nervous a few minutes ago already.
- “Tell me, why is it that you decided to get a tattoo?”- she looks at me, waiting for an answer, and all I can give her is the truth.
- “I never considered getting a tattoo until a few days ago. You could call it a middle-aged crisis.”- I chuckle and she smiles at me, which somehow helps me feel calmer.
- “I don’t think I ever considered it before, but now somehow, it just makes sense.”
- “I don’t consider any crisis a bad thing. Each one is like a reality check that we should pay attention to. I think it’s a way life has to keep us on track of what we should be doing instead of what we think we should do. Does that make any sense?”
I nod and smile at her reply ‘cos it’s a beautiful way to look at a crisis. When you are uncomfortable, you should pay attention and make the changes you need to make. Maybe a tattoo won’t change my life, but it feels like a way to become the man I want to be instead of who I thought I should be.
- “And do you have an idea of what you want to be your first tattoo?
- “Uh. Not really”- I look at my hands, embarrassed to deal with my honest truth. But she just chuckles and continues asking.
- “Not a single idea? There must be something revolving in that mind.”- I raise my eyes and meet hers, and I know I’m blushing, which is embarrassing.- “What do you like?”
- “I like books”- my nerdy answer makes her eyes shine. Maybe she likes reading as well.
- “A favorite one?”
- “War and Peace”
- “A Tolstoi fan, I think I can work on that. Sounds good?”- I nod, smiling.
- “Yeah. Definitely.”
- “Great! So give me a few minutes to draw a few options. Where do you want your tattoo?”
- “I was thinking in my forearm.”
- “Great choice! That area is low on nerve endings and bone, so it'll be less painful than other areas with thinner skin.”- she looks so excited to share that info I don’t wanna tell her I already knew it, and that is the reason I chose that placement.
- “Are you sure I can’t get you anything to drink while you wait?”- (Y/N) stands up and looks at me expectantly.
- “I’m good, thank you.”
- “Ok, wait here. I’ll be back in a sec.”
- “Ok Spencer. Ready?”- I’m sitting on (Y/N) chair. My arm rests on a clean sterile bench covered in plastic. She took the time to clean everything in front of me, probably to assure me everything was taken care of before a needle was in sight.
- “Ready.”- I reply and take a deep breath, trying not to move. But most of all, trying not to shake.
- “I’m gonna make a short line first, so you can feel how the pain is, ok?”- I just nod and she smiles one more time. - “Stay still.”
My eyes are glued to her hands as she carefully traces a small line on my arm and as soon as she is done, she looks at me, expectantly.
- “How did that feel?”
- “It was good”- I answer and look at the line, now drawn forever on my skin.
- “Not as painful as you imagined?”
- “Not painful at all”
- “Great! Let's continue then.”
I find the process of getting a tattoo relaxing, somehow. Here I am, unable to move for a very long time, forced to talk with a stranger. A beautiful stranger that is, in fact, the nicest woman I’ve met. And though none of that could ever be relaxing to me, she is so good at small talk, she is making me talk the entire time, not overthinking anything.
- “So, you’ve been with the FBI for over fifteen years?”
- “Basically my entire life.”
- “Did you always envision yourself being a Fed?”
I don’t know if I wanna answer that. Mostly, I don’t know how to deal with that subject at the moment. So I clear my cough and she gets it right away.
- “We don’t have to talk about that. You could tell me what is it about War and Peace that gets you so much.”
- “I don’t know. Honestly, I haven’t read a book I didn’t like. Never.”
- “And I have the feeling you read a lot.”
She never looks at me, her eyes are always on my arm as she draws on my skin. But I look at her, analyzing her features and the way her eyebrows are constantly frowning in concentration.
- “Why?”
- “‘Cause books were the first thing that came to your mind when I asked you what you like.”- she answers and chuckles.- “You have no idea what people answer to that question.”
- “Surprise me. What’s the weirdest answer you’ve gotten?”- she smiles as she gives the question a little thinking.
- “I don’t wanna judge! I mean, we all have different lives and tastes and picks… and we have been touched by different things in life… However, it’s always weird when people tell me their favorite thing in the whole world is Homer Simpson.”
I try not to burst out laughing, but it’s nearly impossible. (Y/N) takes the needle just in time before I start roaring with laughter.
Honestly, I don’t remember when was the last time I laughed that hard. It’s refreshing. Relaxing. Encouraging. I don’t know if it’s the whole tattoo experience or (Y/N)’s company, but I can’t recall feeling this alive and happy in a very long time.
It’s disappointing when she tells me she is done. She applies a gel on my freshly tattooed skin and invites me to check it in the mirror. And I don’t know how something like this can actually happen, but that’s the moment it actually hits me. I got a tattoo. It’s there, forever in my front arm.
Spencer Reid inked.
- “Alright, Dr. Reid.”- she says as she finishes placing a plastic patch on my tattoo.- “Keep this covered for the next 12 hours, then you take it out and wash it with baby soap and apply this cream every eight hours or when it starts to itch.”
I take the box and smile at her as she looks at my arm for one last time before looking directly into my eyes. It makes my heart skip a beat immediately, and I don’t know
- “Thank you so much.”- I manage to reply.
- “Not a problem. Technically, it’s my job, though you made it extra nice today, so thank you.”
I don’t know what to answer to that, so I just chuckle and blush. She stares at me in silence as well, but it’s not awkward, it’s… tense? But in a nice way. In a very unknown way as well. I am not familiar with this kind of situation. Or, at least, I don’t think I’m good at dealing with them.
- “So… Considering this is your first tattoo, and that I am a very professional tattoo artist, I’m gonna give you my number, so in case of any random question or doubt, you can reach me.”- the way her lips turn into a cute and sweet smile at the end of her little speech hints she is not just saying it to be nice. And I like it.
- “That’s very thoughtful. I appreciate it.”- I offer her my phone and she writes her number on it.- “I’m gonna ring you, so you can save mine.”
- “That’s great.”- and she is beaming.
- “Can I call you even if I don’t have questions about my tattoo?”
- “Sure, I can help with music rants if you ever need to talk about that, somehow I’ve also collected a lot of info about nineties trash TV and cult documentaries.”- I chuckle at the selection of subjects and nod.
- “Why cults?”
- “I’m not sure, I guess you never know when you might need a new asset at work… that doesn't make any sense.”
- “No, but I’ll take it. It’s not the weirdest answer related to cults I’ve gotten.”
- “Do I wanna know?”
- “Maybe over coffee?”
- “Pick me up at seven?”- I nod and she smiles one more.- “Good. I’ll see you later then.”
As I walk out of the tattoo shop I feel like a cliché again. I’m in my midlife crisis, I got my first tattoo, and somehow, I feel like a brand new person. I think I like myself a little more after doing this. I don’t think I’ll regret getting this ink done.
#criminal minds#spencer reid#babymetaldoll writes#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds fanfiction
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