#does it work irl? idk. depends. the answer is always going to be it depends

[ghostoffuturespast]

I thought while I’m lurking (haunting! hah) this place, I’d shoot you a message. I finally! read So It Goes, and let me tell you. I feel like I have a new appreciation of Grandpa. The face I made when she lopped all those heads off with monowire. Suddenly all the stunt bike VP makes perfect sense. What a mad lad, an absolute maniac. Also considerably pricklier than I would have expected from the VP, which is very pretty. Kind of meta tbh, I’m sorry Grandpa for judging you, you are not just a (very short) pretty face. The aikido, the monowire, love how it’s shown she is a good merc because of her skills and brains, she doesn’t need to be a huge bruiser. I’m 5’4, I was immersed 🥲🫡. The chapter where she got arrested and beat up officer creepo one and two while in cuffs was great. Liked seeing a corpo V and Jackie meet cute (meet shoot?) since it’s left vague in game. Loved it. Thank you for sharing, it’s obvious you’ve put a lot of yourself into making V your own character, time and heart.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Thank you!!!! You saying all this, it means so much to me, you have no idea T.T <3

I call her “Stinky Grandpa” here as a joke, but I don’t think most people here quite understand how accurate the moniker is. She’s very prickly and grumpy most of the times, and usually very sweaty from dismembering people, though I don’t think the implied age reflects her stuntwoman status. (CDPR could’ve made the monowire so cool, but did they? She’s a lot more beat up in my head than she is in the VP I take. The limitations of console. She’s been through the wringer on a number of occasions. Perhaps pretty at the right angle lol.) Writing’s been a strange, and very fun outlet, for my love of the action genre and as an additional way to train in aikido - having to contextualize the choreography in a way that makes sense for people who aren’t familiar with the art. I’ve snuck so much aikido into this fic - techniques and principles. As for the philosophy behind the martial art… We’ll get into that a little later ;) I’ve been holding onto a particular plot bunny since the baby days of this fic that I haven’t released into the wild yet and, so far, I don’t think anyone’s picked up on it.

I can’t take credit for Grandpa’s height though, that goes out to the badasses that I train with at my dojo and elsewhere. I’m perpetually in awe of watching these 5 foot and some change women chucking these 6 foot, 200lb plus men across the mat. Never get tired of it. Inspirational and aspirational. Anyway, thank you for reading my aikido/fan fic dissertation and messaging me this. Absolutely made my day and I’m gonna cherish this piece of mail forever <3

[thrashkink-coven]

Answering FAQs I get ab Lucifer and I

1. Are you godspoused?

A: Nope! Lucifer and I’s relationship might emulate some elements of god spousal, but the “label” I would use for our relationship is “devoted”. In the same way that people can have intimate relationships with their friends, I happen to have an intimate relationship with Lucifer. But I wouldn’t consider him to be my boyfriend or husband, for some reason the concept of that feels odd to me.

2. Does your irl partner know about your relationship with Lucifer?

A: Lol look at our room. Yes. It was my bf who got me my Lucifer ring :)) my bf is not a pagan but she is finds the whole thing interesting. My bf likes to hear about what I’m up to with Lucifer, and Lucifer absolutely adores hearing about my partner.

3. When did you first start seeing Lucifer intimately?

A: Probably about a year or so into our working relationship. I already did sex magic and things of the sort so he kinda just helped out. I immediately felt very connected and familiar with him when we first started working together. Over time we just got closer.

4. Have Lucifer and you ever argued?

A: Lucifer is very difficult to argue with because he’s really great at diffusing aggression and he loves to debate. He doesn’t back away from confrontation. Have we disagreed? Constantly. He loves to challenge me, even if only to test my convictions. But I wouldn’t say we’ve ever really “argued”. I don’t think he’s ever done anything that made me hold a grudge against him. There have only been like extremely minor instances of him crossing a boundary and he apologized profusely.

5. Does Lucifer get mad if you forget to give offerings?

A: I didn’t approach Lucifer looking for a deal or outcome, we have a contract but not a transactional one, so I’m not really “obligated” to give him offerings just like he’s not obligated to give me anything… because we didn’t make a business deal. If you approach a demon and ask for a promotion at work then you’ll probably be obligated to hold up whatever your end of the deal was. I kinda just… wanted to get to know Lucifer so that didn’t really apply.

Lucifer doesn’t particularly demand offerings, he makes requests but that’s only because he knows I like giving offerings. He has never gotten mad at me for not giving him things.

6: What are Lucifer’s pet peeves?

A: Hypocrisy and lack of accountability. If you’re not willing to admit you’re wrong sometimes you’re never going to be willing to learn better.

7. How do you start seeing a deity romantically or intimately?

A: 🤷‍♂️ idk. I didn’t really plan to get swept up by Lucifer it kinda just happened. one day a god went “I like this one I think I’ll keep him” and I’ve been winning ever since.

8. What does Lucifer look like to you?

A: Gorgeous 💕. no but to be real Lucifer doesn’t always appear to me as a human (serpent Lucifer has been v prevalent lately, that’s really cool). oftentimes he appears as a twinkling light or a place like a garden or river. When he does appear humanoid he usually has long, curly, gold or black hair depending on whether he’s the morning or the evening star. He’s always illuminated as if he’s standing in front of the sun. Sunlight shines through his hair. Similarly his eyes are either blue, or red depending. They’re sharp and intense like smouldering coals. He’s had many different shades of skin, and he usually appears male aligned with some feminine traits. He’s built strong. There have been occasions in dreams where he’s carried me around in one arm. If ever he has wings they are pearl white, six in total. He can be the size of a regular human or massive like a planet. If he’s wearing clothes he usually wears robes or very loose fitting fabrics, lots of jewelry. It sometimes appears like he’s wearing makeup. He likes to look elegant.

Here are a couple pics I found that kinda emulate him:

It’s also worth noting that my Lucifer’s appearance is definitely most probably highly informed by my human partner. Their hair and facial features are somewhat similar.

9. Has Lucifer ever scared you?

A: Honestly yes, not in the way that I thought I was in any danger, but I’ve seen how terrifying he can be. He’s never directed any aggression towards me, but I’ve seen him in his more warlike archetypes and I understand why he is often considered to be the King or Emperor of Hell. I’ve seen him get extremely protective and vengeful, which is a hard contrast to his usually very chillaxed vibe. The thing about Lucifer is that he doesn’t rage, he stews and simmers and festers and plots until he knows exactly how to destroy you.

10. What’s your favourite thing about Lucifer?

A: His patience and leadership. Dude is just so fucking good at explaining things and guiding you through concepts. Physically I would say his voice. His voice comes in this very low hum that’s just delicious to listen to, especially when he’s singing. like a really nice bass guitar. He also smells very great.

[elisedonut]

Piggybacking off all the omegaverse asks you've gotten recently, do you have any favorite scenarios or tropes with it? Or any ships or dynamics you really like in omegaverse aus?

👀

Hello I know I do seem to be getting quite a few lately and im not complaining about it very fun though i do worry im running out of things to say dkjaflksfj

For me at least I like Omega verse for alot of the same reasons i like soulmate aus but like different

so like the appeal of being able to smash characters together and go there ok now kiss!

One of my favorite concepts atm is like forced mating

i don't (unless its more fun for the scenario) tend to go for the whole one partner ever method much but i do like the idea that a mating bite still does something like it still takes a while to heal (months at least) and can affect your brain at least a little bit

Like they'll feel distressed when apart, get more agitated about other people they disapprove of being too close, lots of feeling like they need to keep the others scent on their skin

type of thing

and then depending on the scenario it is also fun when it's a really dramatic one and done thing where this action by a third party just completely fucked their life plans up a bit

like with soulmate aus I don't understand at all why Marriage would even be a thing that works how it does irl especially in worlds mating bites are a perm thing

idk my biggest omegaverse pet peeve is when it may as well just be two normal people and nothing about the situation is different

like I've said before that its a very dubcon type of trope and i think it honestly should be like your body is acting in ways you don't necessarily want and all you can do is hope the people around you have better control of themselves then you do in that moment

taking that away from it just always kind of makes me like yeah yeah sure

like i get it you don't want to deal with the more icky aspects of it so you make the heat subdue, you make it have no noticeable effect on those around them, you make the Alpha always strong enough to fight themself enough to say no. To fight back because they would never want to hurt them

but like idk i think i just don't see the point personally

like i think it can be done well when its very clear just how hard the alpha in question is fighting but a lot of the ones like this I've seen just kinda missed the mark to me

and Ofc everyone should always write things how ever they want but thats just my thoughts on it

that's also why I prefer worlds that include both Omegas having heats AND Alphas having ruts and think its the most fun when both sides have it equally as bad even if it's in like different ways

I also really like the concept of how good someone smells to you being like a sign of your compatibility

Im trying to think of new ones because I know ive answered a similar thing recently

oh I know i keep mentioning breastfeeding but im going to do it again because i read one fic in different fandom where it was a big part of the plot and im kind of !!! about it

I think Percy should feed Harry. Again not as a sexual thing

Maybe a few years post war it could turn sexual but it doesn't like have to but you know i still love situations and relationships that were meant to be platonic that get twisted as time goes on so like id be ok with it if it did

i just think it would be fun and it would be good for Harry give the boy some motherly styled affection that he was denied so much he deserves it ( i think this concept works well with any Harry ship where the other person could be an omega tbh i'm just Percy centric so)

like i want him to be making "I want to feed" noises during that first summer at the burrow even though at his age he really shouldn't be doing that as much and he doesn't even know why he's doing it or what it means while Percy's sitting there almost panicked over a cub in distress it's because hes malnourished

meanwhile Molly's just like "Oh would you please just feed the poor dear" she feels so bad for him but as a beta who's youngest child is already weaned she's past her feeding stage or she would just do it herself

I know pup is more common in omegaverse stuff when talking like kids that haven't presented yet but i like cub a lot too i think its cuter then pup tbh but i do switch back and forth alot

let's see

Oh! there is one concept iv'e thought about a few times that actually would need Percy to be an Alpha

(or just a non Omegaverse fic with a pregnancy potion which is actually the way i do typically think about it but im running out of things to say and it technically can fit an Omegaverse au so im using it)

where as another way to fuck with Lucius/ punish the Malfoy's for Lucius' fuck up more someone higher in Voldemort's circles (normally Bellatrix in my head because that helps it make sense in my head like yeah shes doing this for that reason but the idea can from a talk with Narcissa about grandchildren so in her crazy way she's like 'it's a perfect opportunity') decides to get Draco knocked up by someone who's undesirable enough to be a problem/disgraceful but not enough where it really 'ruins the pure blood ness' of the child

the kid would never be an actual Malfoy heir but that wasn't the point in the first place kinda thing a living reminder of sorts

so in other words a blood traitor because ive said before but i don't see how being a blood traitor would matter that much its still a pure blood and if said parent were to never be allowed to help raise said child then it really doesn't even matter and Lucius would be pissed and Draco would be a little disgusted so it's perfect

so yeah in an Omegaverse scenario i guess they would just lock them in the same room together and see if it works with plans to kill Percy after it does

but in the main way i think about it Bella forces him to drink the potion (which both parties have to drink) and Imperios him to go to Percy where ever he may be(because i flip flop on where actually this happens) and seduce him(and make him drink his half of the potion) and then they do bang but Draco is able to warn him of what's happening so they actually get to escape and in my head at least Percy panics and contacts Charlie so the end up going to Romania because since in the haze of the potion effecting him and Draco warning him without thinking he would actually do anything they are rightfully assuming the DE's will probably try to kill Draco if he went back so he can't which i imagine would be a bit more difficult in a heat based scenario

but!

you can play with the idea of like true mates in a heat based scenario where that luck of being true mates kept Percy from being killed because Bellatrix wouldnt want her nephew to like outright die (which we are going to say is what would happen)

but now instead he's practically a prisoner so still in a bad situation

another concept i used to think about alot is an asshole teacher holding an Alpha's face up against a very near/ currently in heat Percy's neck in this scenario mating bites are one and done thing though so if said Alpha breaks they will be tied together forever

normally its Snape but it's been Remus or Lockhart a few times in my head too though never did anything with it because while i really like the concept it doesn't fit any of the available characters very well and feels kind of ooc without figuring out their motivations (well i mean ig Lockhart could just a voyeur now that i think about it, the best i could come up with for Remus was knowing he was Percy's like true mate and he's trying to run by practically pushing Percy into someone else's arms, Snape just being a bitch though idk his motives are they pissed him off idk)

to me like i think the best teacher for it would be actually Barty as Moody i don't even think it would need an explanation tbh just ah yeah he would.

but that doesn't work as well with Percy because i can't see him being around the school after graduating when his heats about to hit i mean unless it was all planned ig Barty jr. could plan that sort of thing I've made him plan worse things regarding Percy in my head so i think it could work but even then its a wobbly maybe like a heat accelerant where Percy though he was in the clear for a good few weeks just to be hit with 'oh no-'

who would the alpha be idk its normally someone strong enough to carry him though because they're trying to get him to one of the emergency heat room before he gets swarmed or something

so probably a quidditch player or something

uhh

Ok i think I've taken long enough to answer this so there you go!

[weltonreject]

what does being an English major entail? I’m trying to be one but I have no idea what the work or anything is going to look like/be like. I don’t know any English majors irl but I thought of you ? If this isn’t too weird. You don’t have to answer this if it’s weird to ask idk if it is. Have a good day bye

hi anon! This isn't a weird question-- I was just trying to figure out how to give a helpful response without rambling. Sorry for the delay!

So my English BA was in sort of in "general" English, meaning that I could take literature, creative writing, and theory classes that all fulfilled the major. My college offered a creative writing minor, but I couldn't use any writing classes toward both my major and my minor, so I minored in something else and just "made" my English degree more writing-focused. Definitely check what any prospective college offers in terms of class requirements or minors to see how you can maybe tailor a "general" English degree to your interests and strengths!

As for the workload, it depended on what type of class! I'm sure there are variations but the overall two types of classes I had were literature/theory and writing:

Literature/theory classes were really reading and discussion based. The syllabus would breakout all the readings-- articles, sections of books, whole plays, essays, chapters of an epic, etc-- and it was up to us (the class) to do create our own reading schedule (personal use, not like, as an assignment or anything) in order to have X read by a certain class with ideas ready to discuss or ask questions! Sometimes professors would ask you bring in discussion questions (which sometimes was annoying because you don't know what someone else is going to ask and sometimes that's when you really start to Get Into a text... but whatever. personal gripe lol). But other than that, there weren't really "assignments" day to day. In terms of exams, they were mostly essays-- my department didn't do blue book essays for english classes (timed essays in person) and did only "submit a 10-page paper on X by DATE" type of things, which meant I had time to massage my schedule as I needed come finals week.

[Side Note: Since most exams are essay based, and you are usually so fried by the end of term (and also writing about three other essays for other classes) I'd always mark page numbers whenever I took notes so I could find my "evidence" for essays a lot easier. I actually still mark page numbers/quotes now when I read recreationally! It's just a nice practice and a way to never lose something I thought was interesting! Just something fun I thought I'd share-- studying practices sometimes carry over to post-grad!]

(Creative) Writing classes are just as you'd imagine! The class would be put on a schedule and 3-4 people would have workshop during class. The other students would submit their 15-20 pages of new work two days before class and we'd all read and take notes (in-line edits but also a one-page summary of feedback) and come to class read to workshop/discuss the piece! Really the only thing that was ever annoying or bothersome about these writing classes was 1. making sure I had an original idea "in time" for my scheduled submission date and/or 2. how workshop was run; sometimes professors run them in a way that is boring/unhelpful/very cookie-cutter and not dependent on the writer or their work or what they hope to get out of it. Although, I say that now as someone who is a WAY different writer than I was as a freshman so. Perhaps 19 year-old me very much deserved the cookie-cutter process... Overall, still sort of a "reading schedule" class, but with less ability to read ahead, and working a different part of your "analysis" brain than reading finished, published works!

Being an English major was a lot of the same type of work in mass quantities-- which sometimes was great and other times made my brain Mush. I also had a very reading-focused minor so that's on me too... But, overall, no matter what class combination, there was always a rhythm I could find with all the different readings and writings and essays.

Being an English major was one of the best things I did at school, to be quite honest. I know that sounds a bit... canned, maybe? But I'm being very genuine. I can't imagine having studying anything else. There are so many different avenues and focuses and minors to drill down into, I never felt like I was bored in any class.

ALSO English departments are filled with so many different types of "English Majors!" The writers, the readers, the essayists, the analytic researcher-- you don't have to be all Dark Academia or Super Creative Poet to study English! As long as you bring sincerity and enthusiasm, you'll find great professors and mentors that can further expand what you can "do" with(in) an English degree!!

If you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to ask!! I know I'm not the End All Be All on what it means to study English, but if there's anything I can tell you to give you a Boots On The Ground idea of the day-to-day, I would be more than happy to!

Have a great day! xo

[sixth-light]

Hi! I admit I went lurking in your lgbtqia tag, and somewhere in the tags you said that while you are a cis woman you know this because you consciously thought it through, and I would like to ask about it if you don't mind (feel free to ignore this if you do). So, how did you go about it? If I start to think about it I always end up thinking that if you strip away all stereotypes and physical attributes there's nothing left, and I could best describe my experience with gender as (1/3)

„society said I’m a girl and I don’t care enough to say otherwise”, like I don’t have any reason to think I’m not cis but when I think about what makes me a woman I can’t come up with anything other than „they said so”. I didn't want to ask a trans person about it, because when I put it like this it seems really dismissive of what they go through, and on top of that I really don’t want to be *that person* by seeming like I’m demanding that they validate their identity to me when I just (2/3)

get stuck not even halfway through my thought process about this, and I’ve had like multiple crises over this, so I’d like to get this over with if I can. This seemed like my best chance to get an answer without possibly hurting someone, so I will be very grateful if you can answer me, but don’t stress about it if you can’t or don’t want to. (And thank you for reading through this novel-length ask in the first place, really, and sorry for loading all of this on you. Crises, as I said…) (3/3)

(cut because this is gonna get a bit rambly)

First up: I think if you’re having multiple crises about gender it’s ok - in fact imperative - to ask questions about it, you’re not dismissing anybody else’s experience. I hope this answer helps you in some way.

The tl;dr is that, as trans people have taught us, the primary symptom of being [gender] is wanting to be [gender]. The long answer is...longer. 

I totally get where you’re coming from on “if you strip away all stereotypes and physical attributes there's nothing left”, but I don’t quite think it’s true - at least not in the way I interact with gender - and I’ll try and break down why. 

The thing is, gender is more or less fake. And when I say it’s fake I mean that it’s a very broad-brush system of grouping people which is made up in order to explain, very generally, who people are when you don’t know much else about them. And as a tool that is used to group people on an extremely broad level, it is inextricably intertwined with and born of whatever society you and your gender are operating in. So to start with, you can’t really consider gender outside of society. For me, it doesn’t mean anything when you take it out of the context of interacting with other people. Having (or not having) a gender matters because it’s a way of telling people something about who you are.

In terms of figuring out what things about you say what your gender is - I think of it like...there’s a big bucket of all the attributes people can have that are used to assign them a gender, or for them to pick that gender. Two people from the same society/cultural background will broadly agree on what goes in which bucket, and what the buckets are called. The more different your society and cultural background is, the more different the contents of your buckets are. Some stuff that’s in one bucket for your culture might be in a different bucket for another culture (like colours). What the buckets are and what’s in them changes over time. And, to make it even more confusing, no one person’s gender is made up of all the same attributes from that gender’s bucket, even comparing them to someone of the same gender who agrees with them totally on what the buckets are called and what can be in them. And lots of attributes are in multiple buckets! They can make someone feel lots of different genders depending on the person doing the feeling.

So, ultimately, gender for me is both incredibly, incredibly personal and totally inseparable from my cultural background. And that means that yeah, some of the bits that feel to me like they make me a woman are about my body or ‘stereotypical’ things - and that’s totally fine as long as I don’t make the mistake of thinking that this means someone for whom a DIFFERENT set of attributes makes them female is ‘wrong’ about that. Or the mistake of thinking that the things that make *me* feel like a woman are automatically female attributes for someone of a different gender. 

For example, for me I feel the ability/possibility of bearing children is pretty strongly tied to my gender - but I know nonbinary people and men who’ve borne kids, and they’re not women. And I know lots of women who don’t want to or can’t bear kids, and they’re definitely women. So as a marker of femininity, it’s not much use to generalise with. I can only say it’s in my particular gender bucket.

So, having worked through that - and because, like you, I started at ‘well I was assigned female at birth and I don’t disagree’ - I gave up on trying to think about gender as a question of specific attributes. I think of it as: does it make me feel good to be assigned as a woman, in this society I live in, and would it make me feel bad to be assigned as a different gender?

And the answer to both is yes. I like being perceived as female! I feel happy and affirmed in myself when I tick “F” on a survey. I feel more secure in female-dominated spaces. I want to be a woman, it makes me happy to be one, ergo I am one. 

Moreover, I don’t want to be perceived as another gender - I point out that I’m a woman if someone’s ever unsure. This was really brought home to me, don’t laugh, when I did a playthrough of Stardew Valley and accidentally made my character male (I get the little symbol confused shush they’re very similar) and spent the entire run through being upset whenever my character was addressed in-game as “Mr Anne”. I wasn’t a Mr! I didn’t want to be! It did not feel good! I have been misgendered occasionally IRL but only for momentary interactions, not persistently - I didn’t realise just how much I wouldn’t like it even in this very harmless context. 

But, here’s the thing: I’m not totally sure that I would be a woman or be so confident about being perceived as one if I lived in a society that had very different gender buckets, or put different things in them. I’m a cis woman because I align with the category of ‘woman’ as determined by 21st-century Aotearoa New Zealand. Would I be a woman in, IDK, second-century Scotland? Fucked if I know. And that’s fine, because like I said: for me gender is specifically a way of telling the society you live in something about who you are. I want to tell people I’m a woman, it makes me happy to do so, so I am one; and I was raised as a girl, so I’m a cis woman. It’s as simple and complicated as that. 

[mcrmadness]

I need to stop going to these LGBT+ wikis to read about things when I feel confused over terms, I only end up being even more confused and overwhelmed over the amount of terms there, especially when over the half of them has "Tumblr use *name here* came up with this term in 20XX".

It's like a rabbit hole??? I just want to read about some aspec term, let's say aplatonic, and I end up in a spiral of pages that end up to a page that has a term such as ahomoheterosexualplatonicgay or whatever. And this is a joke. Maybe a bit distasteful joke but honestly, this is how I feel when I see the amount of these terms that sound more like they were only designed to one person and then uploaded to some LGBT+ wiki to where everyone can write!

And because I know how Tumblr is like, I'm gonna say that I am TOTALLY FINE with people coming up with terms for themselves, I'm not here to gatekeep anything or anyone, what I'm saying is that it's just so incredibly confusing to have the aspec identities broken into even smaller microlabels under microlabels.

I myself stop at asexual and aromantic. I don't need to define these terms more than that. Sometimes I use "loveless aro" but the reason I started googling and ended up being overwhelmed (as I do every single time I visit these wikis) was because I again forgot what it feels like to be a loveless aro, and simply wanted to know.

Then I again started to read about how it feels like to be aplatonic. Or demiplatonic. And I don't understand. But I might have found a new term for myself called Laimoplatonic because apparently it is e.g. "when one does not know if they are aplatonic or not because they don't know what platonic attraction feels like" and lmao if that isn't me. But that still goes a bit too far for me so I guess I'm gonna just keep saying I'm loveless aro or maybe aplatonic. There's also a chance of being demiplatonic but maybe I just have never met such person yet. I do have a desire for emotional intimacy (no physical), the kind you can experience with only one person usually (depending on what you like, that is), but that's all. Still don't know if that goes under platonic attraction or not since, as I already said, I don't know how it feels like since I don't know if I have ever felt platonic attraction. Exactly the reason for why I am aroace too cos I have never felt sexual nor romantic attraction, but at the same time I'm so curious I'm always wondering what do those feel like cos I can't even imagine them. It's the same with platonic. I do have that when I see someone and I just feel like I'd love to be their friend cos I feel like we'd get along perfectly, but I think that is more about the vibes and my loneliness and the need to have like-minded friends, and I'm not sure if being aplatonic (or demiplatonic) means that, or the lack of "deeper" platonic attraction.

This is why I use the word loveless aro sometimes because I do care about my friends and family, sometimes very deeply, but I cannot explain how do I care about them. I don't know what I feel or don't feel. I just have a hunch that it's not the same kind what they feel, you know? Not sure if it's my neurodiversity, but even that doesn't explain it when also many of my friends are neurodivergent aka probably would experience stuff more similarly to me than to neurotypicals. Yet none of them is fully aroace/aro/ace (as far as I'm aware), so they experience these differently from me.

But then again, it could just be the fact that I am very lonely and I don't even remember anymore how I am with other people in general. I think I know how I am, but at the same time I think it's just how I IMAGINE I am cos I no longer know. I only know how I used to be when I was a teenager, but I have never really had friends as an adult and I'm really bad at maintaining friendships. Like, that is another problem: I care about my friends, but I don't really miss them ever. I am always happy to text or talk or meet and it's lots of fun, but I just never have the desire to contact anyone. I can go for months without any kind of interaction with anyone and I don't feel a thing, cos for me friendships kinda are only put on hold but they don't disappear just because they're put on hold? I recently saw a post about something similar to this and apparently it's a neurodivergent thing. But yeah, if we talked yesterday or a year ago, I simply don't feel the difference. The only downside is: people do change a lot even in a year so I often feel like I no longer know the person because while the friendship was on hold, I feel like so was the person too.

A bit like playing a video game and when you quit, it continues from where you were left and the characters are still the same. That's how my brain think also real life works and it's always so weird to notice the people have grown and evolved meanwhile I wasn't interacting with them, which sometimes is very overwhelming for me. This is why I often have problems when I think about my friends as I often go from "THIS IS MY FRIEND" to "I don't know this person???" and back to "THIS IS MY FRIEND" in milliseconds. And it's very, very confusing. I often wonder if I actually know any of my friends and if everything is just an illusion in my head I have created from the pieces I have collected about them over the years. I could be so wrong about all my friends, when I really think about it. Especially when I have used even years old pieces.

For example: My only IRL friend I have known since we were 15, so for 15 years now, and I think the reason I feel weird about her is because some of the "pieces" of her are still the ones I collected when we were 15. And they don't fit today's pieces of her. Yet I try to make them fit and find it really difficult to throw away the old pieces, so in my head it's like a puzzle made from totally unmatching pieces I'm trying to force to stick together with tape and such. And that's why I still feel confused when talking to her, because the way she is today is sometimes much better than when we were teenagers, but at the same time I still am mentally in the time we were 15-20 and expect her to answer and think the way she did back then. It's very confusing to my brain.

Idk what I'm saying here. I meant this to be just a random rant but then it turned into a deep thoughts once again...

[neo-shitty]

reading drown made me remember how much music personally means to me. i used to have a hard time sleeping back in 6th grade to the point that it badly affected my studies bc for some reason im wide awake at night, felt tired but still fully awake which made me unable to focus in school. so of course i researched what i can do since i didnt want to tell my parents (nasa google kaya lahat 😌) long story short, try listening to music daw 😭 so i did bUT since listening to music wasnt really my hobby, i didnt know what type i should start off and at that time, kpop just recently became big LMAO it was like around 2017 i think. so i liSTENED TO EXO since it was the group that i have been hearing around school AHAHAHAHA the song was baby, dont cry btw. it worked surprisingly, music does calm one's nerves. i didnt understand the lyrics ofc but just by the melody, it made everything around me peaceful. whenever i feel anxious, sad, or stressed, music is the way to go :"> SO EON STORY KO PANO AKO NAGING KPOP FAN 😭😭😭 parinig aq ng iyo po 🙇

pero ofc there were times when it was pointless. there were times na listening to music just made everything worse, it would just be another noise that would frustrate me more. kAYA ANG NEED DITO IS ANO TALAGA U KNOW OO ung pwede mong sandalan hahahaha kaso wala ako non :"> so while reading napapa "sige chan ahhaha sana ol sige sana ol may y/n ng buhay nila hahaha" pero real talk, it would be nice to have someone you can share all your worries with without feeling guilty of wasting their time kaya stray kids hopefully you wont be afraid to love someone freely 😌

uy pati nakakaqiqil si jae dito >:( pero no, bias ko pa den siya sa day6 <3 and the scene where chan was guiding reader along while she was riding his skateboard is so cute huhu ,,, lia is the mc in checkmate, correct?

para akong ewan kc you posted this 11 pm right? i always like reading/watching while lying down sO humiga ako kaso pagkahiga ko, inaantok ako agad :"> enjoying something while youre at your most comfortable position feels so ✨heavenly✨ but it makes me too comfy that it drowns me in sleepiness. like i need to sleep muna bago ako maka focus 100% sa ginagawa ko lmao eh since end of the day eon, pagod aq :"< SMALL RANT LNGS KC BIGLA KO NAPANSIN KAGABI HAHAHAHAHA actually pati this afternoon, manonood sana ako hometown chachacha kaso pagkabagsak ko, tulog. kaya tinuloy ko na lang after an hour of sleep huhu

speaking of hometown, im on ep 10 and its the first ep where seungmin's ost was showcased ! im really excited marinig siya later pag finish ko nung ep na eon. BY THIS TIME EP 12 KA NA NOH?? HOPEFULLY EHE EHE and yes justice para sa mga nababastos >:( daming cases here in our school last f2f tbh. ewan like kadalasan, based on my experience, sinisisi nila sa pananamit ng mga babae 👁️👄👁️ i watched a video/show wherein a boy got caught sexualizing ung kaklase niyang girl tas he defended himself by saying na ang ikli ng skirt ni ate girl but thats literally their uniform , scary honestly

pati ify sa ipis, idk why but im more scared sa ipis than mga daga kc naman ang ipis parang gagamba, bigla biglaan na lang mawawala :"> AH SO UN NGA DI AKO NAKAPUYAT AHHAHAHAHAHAHAH PERO WANT KO NA ULE 😭 anong oras ka natulog?

i just realized then, almost all my feedbacks (?) rants abt your works, may included back story ko HAHAHAH like sa obliviate, harry potter kemene. sa on the ride home, yung untog series q. tas dito sa drown -> ^^^ syempre sa checkmate di ako relate kc di pa naman aq pumapanaw Y^Y

btw how was your day? pag gising ko sa umaga dumeretso aq proj, sipag i2. advance happy eating for dinner !

HAPPY CHANNN DAYYY ,, ayos na daw kurtina nila di ko pa nakikita pero inayos daw ni chan 😌👌

- 👻

glad i came home to a whole ass diary entry today omg owo

6TH GRADE HELP ISNT THAT LIKE TOO YOUNG TO HAVE AMNESIA ;n; hala baka magfalse diagnosis ka sa gogol ha, tell your parents next time kung may ano. oh yeah, mas better talaga kung di mo naiintindihan yung lyrics? bc you don't have to think of the lyrics too. music stopped working as a lullaby for me when quarantine started so i resorted to yt vids. but i still go for music whenever my self-esteem is low. noise music really boosts it *u* exo-l ka pa ba now? or you didn't stan? sinu-sino nga pala stinastan mo omg?

dude my story started in g2 when i heard fire by 2ne1 on the MIT top 20 of myx. i was quite a casual kpop fan up until late g10 when i started memorizing members (which i didn't do bc i was really just in it for the music not the groups).

HAJSHJAH truly tho it's nice to have someone around :'( namimiss ko na rin yung time na may 'y/n' ako but it's been so long that i'm fine on my own na HAJHAJ JAE IS MY BIAS TOO BUT ANTAGONIZING HIM WAS FUN. t'was bc of this vid (around the 28:18 to 29:20 mark; literally the inspo for the whole fic). yep, lia's checkmate's mc! the part abt guiding sa skateboard happened to me irl HIHIH #kilig #reminiscing kakamiss f2f

yeah at 11pm. i think i posted it too late bc it's not doing too well notes wise but whatever, it's chan day. HAHAH glad you slept easily though! MY BIGGEST SANA ALL. i slept at 3 na kanina bc i was either too hot or too cold.

how long is the kdrama? also i'm really proud of seungmin for scoring that ost :'( go get it, vocal king. NAUR I DIDNT GET TO FINISH THE ANIME BC I WENT AND WATCHED BSD KDJSKLJ i'll try and finish it tonight (bc i was out the whole day + i might be writing later) i fucking hate men. icb i'm at the point where i'm torn abt having a bf bc i kinda want a man but they're disgusting as hell???? it's hard to find the good ones nowadays.

mga ipis kasi feeling butterfly jsdhjfh at least yung daga aware ka kung asan ;n; IM SCARED OF SPIDERS TOO JDSKFJ wag ka magpuyat l8r kasi monday pero eh depends pa rin sau

oo nga pansin ko din yung back stories but they're interesting to read naman so i don't mind !! SANA DI KA TALAGA MAKARELATE SA CHECKMATE JUSQ do not claim the negative energy from that fic

we went to my mom's office earlier bc she wasn't feeling great and she couldn't come home yet kasi nakabubble siya doon. we just go thome tapos yown diretso answer sa ask HAHAH magtstsaa palang aq mamaya pa ata dinner namin mga 7 pero yeah advance happy eating din sayo!

AND YES HAPPY CHAN DAY <333 lol narealize ko lang both my ults had sunday birthdays this year o.O and OO HAJSHJAH i watched the chan's vlog last night (partly the reason why napuyat ako) and inayos niya yung curtain sa bandang huli <//3 can't tease them anymore HMP

[xxcureangelxx]

5, 9, 10, 13, 20, 21, 24, 25, 28, 30-35, 38-42, 44-46, 50, 52, 54, 60-62, 66, 71-74, 86-91, 96, 100! 😊

okay I literally have no clue how old this is and if I'm even taking the questions from the right post but here goes I guess? 🙈

<u>5. What is your favorite Color?</u>

PURPLE

<u>9. How tall are you?</u>

about 1,70 meters or 5'7"

<u>10. What shoe size are you?</u>

size 40-41, I think that's about 8 in US sizes?

<u>13. What talents do you have?</u>

uhhh good question... not sure if it counts but I guess I'm quite good at a lot if things but can't do anything extraordinarily well?

<u>20. Are you religious?</u>

Absolutely not. Due to family history and a lot of other things I'm actually against it a lot but people can do whatever they feel like is right for them as long as they don't harm others with it.

<u>21. Have you ever been to the hospital?</u>

Yes, quite a lot actually. practically grew up in hospitals as a baby because of kidney issues, broke both my legs with 4 years old, had to revisit for tests a lot during my childhood because of the kidney issue. it calmed down afterwards until I was back in hospital last year because of my terrible mental health and I'm currently in a rehabilitation clinic for it as well.

<u>24. Baths or showers?</u>

Shower's because we don't have a bathtub

<u>25. What color socks are you wearing?</u>

currently none, I love going barefoot, but usually I wear white, gray or black. I know... I'm a bad gay.. no rainbow socks (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

<u>28. What type of music do you like?</u>

you know.... I hate this question with a passion even though I love music so I'll just throw in my yt-playlist here and everyone who's interested can look through it to get a picture xD not sorted in any way and not a conclusive list at all, I just add songs as I find them

<u>30. How many pillows do you sleep with?</u>

mostly just one at a time but I've got two different ones. one is the normal fluffy kinda pillow, the other is made of some kinda foam material and rather thin.

<u>31. What position do you usually sleep in?</u>

I'm always lying on the side! have been doing that since I was a baby too.

<u>32. How big is your house?</u>

compared to what? 🙈 I'd say decent size for 5 people to live in, would have space for 1-2 more if rooms were used differently but definitely not enough to comfortably live with 12 or even more people like my family used to. we've got like 3 proper sleeping rooms (one of which is the attic so not very nice in terms of heat and the staircase is smack in the middle of the room), a kitchen, a dining room, a big living room, a tiny bathroom that barely fits a toilet and shower, and the basement is a mix of storage, electrics and stuff, washing room/utility room and it's got another smaller room that's been turned back into a small workshop but used to be the room of my brother and later my grandmother.

<u>33. What do you typically have for breakfast?</u>

I guess this is where it shows that I'm german but we usually just eat bread (preferably whole grain) with cheese or slices of salami or ..meat sausage? is that a proper translation? 🤨 idk... it's rather simple really. on the weekend maybe buns and boiled eggs. on the occasion that I'm too tired for it or don't have enough time I eat cereals but it's not very common when I'm at work/school

<u>34. Have you ever fired a gun?</u>

No, and I don't want to

<u>35. Have you ever tried archery?</u>

Yes!! I did last year when I was in the hospital and it was super fun! was quite good at it as well, even for my first try 😤

<u>38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?</u>

I think about 3 days? if we count "barely unconscious for a few hours" as sleep that is... otherwise no clue...my memory of the bad sleepless time is quite hazy lol

<u>39. Do you have any scars?</u>

yeah, quite a few tbh. got 2 huge ones from surgeries due to my kidney issues, well they look like 2 but it's actually multiple ones since they simply cut open party of the old ones again, tiny hooman apparently have very little skin. then I got some other ones here and there from accidents, general dumbness, etc, like when I cut through my sunday morning bun and almost cut half of the tip of my finger off because my mother sharpened the knife and didn't tell me or that time as a kid I couldn't wait for my ironing pearl pictures to be done and burned myself on the hot iron, mostly stuff like that.

<u>40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?</u>

I mean.. if they're a secret... how would I know? ;) not sure if it counts that it took me months to realize I had a crush on my best friend and the feelings were reciprocated and I was too blind to see the signs?

<u>41. Are you a good liar?</u>

Nope. People actually think I'm lying more often than I lie... so.... :/

<u>42. Are you a good judge of character?</u>

I'm.. honestly not sure what this one means? like, am I able to judge what kind of character a person has after barely meeting them or smth? if so, I'm terrible at it

<u>44. Do you have a strong accent?</u>

in german? nope. in english? hmm hard to judge since I rarely hear myself speak. I think the stuff I do know how to pronounce is mostly okay but since I learned it through reading I'm simply unsure of a lot of pronunciations. 'also'.... I can not for the life of me pronouns that word no matter how many times I hear it... it's kinda become a quirk after some classmates pointed it out to me and I'm incredibly aware how terrible I say the word but.... just can't get rid of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

<u>45. What is your favorite accent?</u>

I.. actually really love the way my best friend talks? 👉👈 they're french btw. just... typical me for struggling to understand them though, already terrible at it in german too...

<u>46. What is your personality type?</u>

honestly, I don't think I can answer that. I'm big on self loathing and everything's pretty shitty so, no thanks

<u>50. Left or right handed?</u>

Right handed. but does it even count id I'm bad at doing things with that hand too? lol

<u>52. Favorite food?</u>

hmmmm tough question... not the biggest fan of food in general a lot of the time... probably Züricher Geschnetzeltes

<u>54. Are you a clean or a messy person?</u>

Definitely messy. my allergies did not like this post trying to clean and tidy up more often though. my depression does not like this post either

<u>60. Do you talk to yourself?</u>

sometimes. quite a bit when watching movies or if I mess stuff up

<u>61. Do you sing to yourself?</u>

barely. got a lot of bad experiences with that so i keep my singing to a minimum. my shower is a great listener though

<u>62. Are you a good singer?</u>

I was in a choir for a few years when I went to 'middle school' and I had like one solo part once but other than that I can't really say because I barely ever sing in front of people

<u>66. Do you like long or shor hair?</u>

this question is currently my absolute nemesis.. I've got suuuper duper long hair and have had it ever since elementary school and I used to be super happy with it and sometimes I still am happy with it but other days, depending on where I'm at genderwise, I absolutely hate it and I just want to take the closest scissors and cut it all off... currently haven't had the guts to look for new hair styles though... but in other people? or women more specifically? I love long hair 🥺

<u>71. What makes you nervous?</u>

Or the shorter question: what doesn't make me nervous... I'd say pretty much everything has got the potential to make me nervous. I'm an overthinker, anxiety is a big thing for me and ptsd makes me scared of almost everything. so.. yeah... sucks to be me sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

<u>72. Are you scared of the dark?</u>

Yes, very

<u>73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?</u>

I try not to but sadly I sometimes do, even if it's not my place to. I really don't like that part and hope I'll be able to learn not to sometime

<u>74. Are you ticklish?</u>

Yes and I hate it 😭

<u>86. What are you allergic to?</u>

again, easier question: what am I not allergic to... it's... a lot... like, really a lot. with the test on the skin of my arm I reacted to every single substance and the more thorough blood test lead to much of the same result. the absolute worst are birch trees (pitty, love those), then the usual pollen of pretty much every tree or flower, all animals with fur or feathers, dust and... yeah list goes on and on, you get the picture... :/

<u>87. Do you keep a journal?</u>

no.. have tried to multiple times in the past but never made it more than a week... too depressing to write and read... the therapist at the rehab clinic is currently forcing me to try a positivity diary for the millionths time, can't even get that done each day even though I'm doing it on my phone and get notifications to do it each evening...

<u>88. What do your parents do?</u>

making my life hell lol.. okay on a serious note, my father was a car electrician, he's retired by now, my mother is a housewife, she used to work different jobs before her first kid, later on she took care of my grandmother who was suffering from dementia, got some money and retirement points for that too.

<u>89. Do you like your age?</u>

I-... I don't know? it's weird because I both feel a lot younger and a lot older than I am rn....

<u>90. What makes you angry?</u>

another tough question... I actually have anger issues in that way that I'm barely capable of feeling anger... used to be worse but I already worked a lot on it in therapy so there's at least some there now... in the past I simply started to cry and felt overwhelmed by sadness whenever I was supposed to feel anger... so I can't tell very well what makes me angry because I first have to realize that I'm feeling anger or more like should be feeling it....

<u>91. Do you like your own name?</u>

Not really, no, but I guess I finally figured out some reasons why.. I've recently started going by a bit of a different name too but only my closest friends know so far and I'm not sure if I'll be using it irl at all..

<u>96. How did you get your name?</u>

I'm still trying to get my mother to admit that she named me after this song but she keeps denying it.. she's a fan of this band so it would have fit.. but she keeps saying she just liked the name, no long thought process behind it..

my chosen name is a bit of a different story. an ex friend I got to know through yt gave me that nickname almost 10 years ago after I complained that you can't make a shorter nickname out of my birthname and it's also the name of s character I like, especially his voice, and... idk it just feels more gender neutral and I simply feel comfortable with it. it just fit.

<u>100. Color of your room?</u>

same as question 5: Purple 🥰 or... well half the walls are purple, the other half is white

phew... can't believe I made it through all of these....

in case people haven't noticed yet, I'm currently kinda getting back into tumblr? I think I've already stayed a lot longer than any times I tried getting back before. it mostly started because we've got super bad wifi at the clinc I'm at rn and reddit takes up waaayy too much mobile data and... idk, I guess I just missed the vibe of tumblr

I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stick around but we'll see

[hotchley]

hey sumayyah! i saw your sign!! I'm writing the JJ & Emily parts of the really out of the blue and shitty mini-whatever it is 💀 and hopefully I'll figure out how to shorten it or something lmaoo

but i wanted to come here and talk for awhile i guess

it's like, 2am where i am right now and I'm just so drained mentally like idk i can't seem to focus on getting all my work done (school work) and i just submitted a fake corrupted file to pass off as my homework because i haven't been able to finish it (it's not graded or anything it's just 2 biology practice papers for revision for the upcoming exam but they're really long & biology is not my strong subject......)

like I'm 60-70% done on both papers and yeah i feel so bad for doing what i did and i am still planning on finishing those 2 papers (both as legitimate practice/revision & just in case my teachers do check and decide to ask me to resubmit/send them the file through another channel) and idk i obviously can't really talk to any one in school about this so i came here.... sorry for this bout of negativity i just feel so drained inside and it's not even the first time.... I'm on my break right now (mid years break) but my break is ending in roughly 4-5 more days? and I've felt unmotivated and horrible throughout the entire break idk :/ idk if this is just burn out or something else.... I've been planning on finding a therapist/professional to talk to? but 1. i can't exactly do it "openly" because i come from a rather conservative family and mental health issues (& sexuality etc) aren't things we talk about in my family.... and 2. I'm still a full-time student & I'm not sure of what services are available + the costs and all the other concerns? so like idk I'm not even sure where to start :(

and because I've been feeling like cr*p most of the time the last 3 weeks, I've done absolutely nothing & so i have TONS of school assignments piled up (those that were due during the break I've finished (somehow lmao) and submitted, but those that are due AFTER the break when school reopens.... i have completely not touched) & the worst thing is I'm not even entirely sure what's my entire workload.... so i definitely have to start seriously getting my work done from tomorrow (technically today) onwards.... but like i genuinely have a hard time focusing on work and I'm not sure if it's just my issues with procrastination or if i have a genuine illness or something and i don't want to self diagnose so I've been trying to not think about this but lately it's been so hard because i can't even finish my work on time and exams are coming and it's just really affecting me? and it's getting worse? i don't even have anyone i can truly talk to about this irl too and SKDJSKSNS idk 😭😭

i am SO SORRY for all the negativity!!!!! i just felt so alone and really had to vent somewhere i am so sorry, feel free to delete this ask if you're uncomfortable 🥺

i hope you're having a much better day/night and i love you ❤️ your blog (& cm Tumblr) is really giving me hope & keeping me alive, if i can put it that way 🥺♥️♥️ thank you for being you, and thank you for simply existing. I'm sorry things got so depressing all of a sudden lmao I'll be fine (eventually, probably)

- 🌙

I feel like my answer got long, so I put it under the cut :)

YAY!

Also, I did see this when you initially sent it, but I'm working on boundaries and priorities, which is why I didn't answer it then- I just needed a break <3

Look, you're learning during a pandemic that has disrupted everything and caused a lot of pain and stress. One corrupted file does not make you a bad student. You're still going to try.

There were so many days during lockdown where I just... didn't submit any work, and then I would submit it later saying the thing broke- which seemed believable because the thing we used never functioned properly.

And we cannot be happy or perfect all the time. Sometimes we need to share our problems. I have always said you can talk to me, it just may take me a few days depending on my own situation, and I stand by that.

Sometimes breaks just make us more miserable. Sometimes it is just genuinely a phase that you will snap out of. Sometimes it isn't. Either way, you need to let yourself feel this. Don't try and bury it. That'll be worse.

So when it comes to therapists, if you've been thinking of seeing one, go for it. Chances are, it'll help.

I get what you mean. I don't know what it's like where you are, but in England, everyone over 16 has control over the medical stuff. That basically means your parents cannot be told what you're doing, and you can do things without their knowledge. If I wanted to make an appointment, I wouldn't need to tell them I was making it, or what was discussed. Neither can the doctors.

I asked one of my friends (I have consent to share this), and she said that she went through the BetterHelp website, and that it's really helping her. Now I know BetterHelp had some real serious problems, so I would be cautious, but that is one option. Hers is between £50-£60 a session, but there were cheaper options.

You could also go through your school!! My school has what is called a "well-being practitioner" who you can just go and see when you're feeling down, and it all remains confidential UNLESS they think intervention is needed. So you could see if there are any sessions they do, or if there's any help you can get from them :)

I have seen SO, SO many teachers on TikTok recently say two things: ask them for help if you need it, and they will give it, and just do something. I don't know what you're teachers are like, but they're probably stressed and burnt out too. If you need an extension or a break or help, they'll do their best.

And if you can't do everything, then just do one thing. Do your favourite subject, or the easiest thing. I know people say do the hardest thing first because then everything gets easier, but the one time I did that, I started crying and I gave up for a good three days so...

If you've done extensive research, then maybe it is something, and if you think that there is that, then you should try and get tested <3 and it's okay if there really is nothing. Sometimes brains are weird

You don't ever have to apologise for being human <3 Remember how I mentioned crying for twenty minutes to my history teacher? I said the same thing to him: that I feel bad talking about these things because everyone has their own problems. His response was: well yes, but there are so many people that want to help you. And they would tell you if you were being a burden.

You need to trust that. And it's hard. It's painful. It's difficult. But I promise you, telling someone will always be better than bottling it up- and this comes from the person that was pissed for six weeks because I got a phone call home from someone higher up because previously mentioned history teacher told them that I was not doing great

I love you too!!

And sometimes life gets you down! That's okay! Things will get better! Maybe this isn't healthy, but my thing is: things will work out, and things will get better because they need to, and I refuse to believe I am living a life where they won't.

You will be fine! I have every faith in you!!

[pauleonotis]

Tag Game

I was tagged by @rockmarina, thank you! :D ❤️

Rules: Answer 10 questions, then come up with 10 more, and tag 10 people.

1. What is something you’ve created that makes you feel proud of yourself?

I once wrote a small book with a couple of short stories and drew pictures to them. The characters in it were either me, my brother, my cousin, my best friend or a friend I had in school. We all had different roles and the stories were entertaining and hilarious. (I‘m kinda sad I don’t have it anymore, I don’t know whether I gifted it my friend to then lost it or gave it my mom who then threw it away but it’s gone now unfortunately.)

2. Share a childhood memory that includes an animal!

My whole life I’ve had bunnies (tho not anymore, my last one I owned passed away in 2018). I remember being on a class trip it was kinda like a farm? They had some goats, a lot of bunnies, some stray cats and horses. We were allowed to go inside the bunny area and pet them etc. and since I had bunnies myself that was basically my favorite thing to do. One bunny in particular (that didn’t come out often) caught my attention, he didn’t have ears and one of the caretakers there told me about a child who grabbed him by the ears and basically swung him until they ripped off.

This bunny was the only one who didn’t come out often or near any humans even if we had food but I remember sitting with the bunnies alone after having an argue with the girls I shared a room with so I was kicked out by them and that bunny then took some bites of a carrot that was laying right next to me and idk but that moment made me really happy. :)

I btw didn’t try to touch him or anything, I think that would’ve just scared him off but being so close was a huge step and I‘m so proud of that little bun! ;-;

3. Warm or cold colours?

Depends, I love both but if i have to choose then I‘d say warm colors since I feel like I work with them more whenever I draw? Idk. xD

4. What is the boomer/gen Xer societal norm that you find the most unnecessary and annoying, if any? (e.g: no elbows on the table)

Uhhhh what? I gotta admit I have absolutely no clue what else there is except that example that is given. But that no elbows on the table is pretty unnecessary if you ask me- I don’t have them on the table while eating with both hands but if I just use my fork or a spoon lemme just rest my other arm on that damn table pls??? I‘m not trying to be rude, just trying to find a comfortable position thankyouverymuch.

5. Have you ever picked anything from the street and kept it?

Yes. A One Direction pendant which basically was a gold 1 and a D. Back then I didn’t know what it meant because I never really recalled the name of that group? But funnily enough during the time I found this I was listening to the song ‚Best Song Ever‘ on repeat.

6. What is one piece of media that has helped you through some rough times?

Fanfiction net and Fanfiktion de probably? Lmao idk. But I remember I‘d always read fanfictions to save my day! :D Or maybe youtube too, I absolutely loved to watch speedpaint videos which motivated me to draw and practice.

7. Have you ever cried in front of anyone unexpected?

Yes. My ex boyfriend.

I have to admit I‘m actually not a person that cries that easily about irl situations... idk. But basically I was at his house to stay over the weekend and he kissed me and left a lot of love bites on my neck and cleavage and the thing is I wasn’t really together with him because I loved him — when he was visiting me the first time he was just an online friend I had and he then kissed me and said I‘m his now and I agreed because all my friends during that time had a bf or were in love and I was questioning my sexuality but didn’t want to be the different one or disappoint my parents by coming out as bi or lesbian so I tried to force myself into a straight relationship. So yeah and that night when he left those love bites I realized that no, I didn’t want that. I want to figure out my sexuality and not force myself to be someone I’m not and I also don’t want to rush anything. And that’s why I started to cry.

Which was really... really awkward in that situation tho. XD

8. What would someone have to do to make you hate them?

Abuse people or animals (especially those who can’t do anything/speak up/protect themselves). I was about to add something to that but it isn’t something nice and I have to admit it probably shouldn’t be said out loud.

9. What is one forbidden smell that you love? (glue, gasoline...)

Idk what else counts as forbidden smell...? I don’t like smelling glue or gasoline lmao. But unusual smells... uhh... I have to say I kinda miss the smell of the litter that was in my bunnies cage. And the smell of the grass and dandelions (Schnuffel adored them ;-;).

10. What is something you’re passionate about?

A couple of things actually, the most obvious one would be drawing and trying to improve. But let’s see uhm... learning?

Not that boring school stuff, even tho there were many interesting things I’ve learned over the 13 years that I‘ve been to school, BUT I‘m talking about more...random things.

Idk tell me random facts, or something about your culture, about languages, tell me something about history, mythology, astronomy, let me know more about yourself, about your friends or people you look up to or people that interest you. Tell me about tricks or life hacks. How did you do that? When did you learn that? What does that mean? I definitely want to know and/or learn.

Now onto my questions (it btw was so difficult coming up with 10 questions and now I have to do it a second time- WHY ;-; xD):

1. What mythical creature do you wish actually existed?

2. How do you judge a person?

3. What are you interested in that most people that you know aren’t?

4. What‘s the funniest joke you know by heart?

5. What movie/video/picture/meme/whatever always makes you laugh no matter how often you see it?

6. Which protagonist from a book/movie would make the worst roommate?

7. And what protagonist from a book/movie would make the best roommate?

8. The last song you sang along to?

9. What was the best thing that happened to you today?

10. What are your top 3 fanfiction tropes?

Tagging: @rockmarina (>:3) @aceveria @samyistrying @triggerlil @practicefortheheart @april-thelightfury115 @drarryruinedme7 @big-draco-energy @ohheavenlylord @qmortentia (only if you want to do it of course!)

[sworntoprotect]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent (the mere existence of a post-canon verse is diverging from canon) / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. He started off as a tertiary character in the mage origin/Broken Circle quest in DAO, then ended up becoming something of a staple tertiary/secondary character in DA2 and DAI.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. I’m not entirely sure how people feel about DAO Cullen’s appearance but DA2 and onwards he got himself a glow-up and an unwitting thirst trap reputation. What made ramen boy appealing in DAO for some is that if you played a female mage Warden, he’s “the one who got away”... because he literally booked it down the corridor if you got too flirty.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Perhaps? If you take a stroll through his tag, despite being a Templar, he’s not often portrayed as someone who’s fighting (*winkwonk*).

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. Some in the fandom might even call him overrated, depending on who you ask. 

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. In DAO he begs for you to kill all the remaining mages in the Circle Tower, and you can accept or decline to do so. In DA2 he solicits a few quests and eventually sides with you to defeat Meredith. In DAI he’s the Commander of the Inquisition and a vital part of the war council. Overall, he’s there to provide a pro-Templar outlook for the character. 

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. He’s met every game protagonist thus far and had some level of personal/professional relationship with them. 

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. In DAO he was a newly minted Templar. DA2 he was elevated to Knight-Captain very quickly which got his name floating around Kirkwall, and of course by DAI he’s the head of the Inquisition’s forces so he’s even more well-known throughout (at the least) Ferelden and Orlais.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. Both. The common people and fellow Templars would look up to him, whereas mages and pro-mage sympathisers would absolutely have an issue with the role he’s played over the years.

How strictly do you follow canon? — As closely as I can, without lingering too deeply into the “problematic views” part of his character. I don’t seek to erase them or ignore them, and I don’t have too much issue writing them for the sake of being genuine, but I also don’t want to write him as if he’s some mustache-twirling villain because he is not. 

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Since he was 18 years old, Cullen has suffered and struggled through adversity after adversity (torture, sexual assault, brainwashing, night terrors, drug abuse, and a healthy spoonful of “all my friends are dead”), and yet maintained a soft heart underneath the steel wall of being a warrior. His goal since childhood has been to serve and to protect, and his self-awareness, loyalty, intelligence, and drive to make himself a better and more caring man is what sets him apart from others of his ilk who in his shoes would’ve broken a long, long time ago.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — He’s a man who’s allowed atrocities to occur by not standing up to speak against them, has perpetuated the cycle of mage abuse by the hands of others, can be callous, closed-minded, and aggressive, and has a strong prejudice against mages that wasn’t properly resolved in his “redemption” arc – nor was his lyrium addiction/withdrawal.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  He’s the type of muse I gravitate towards: bookish, devoted, protective, a softy under all the stone, endearingly awkward. More than that, though, his story intrigues me. Cullen has gone through a lot (he’s either the luckiest or unluckiest person) and watching his trajectory throughout the series has been really interesting. I’d like to provide him proper growth and development that he wasn’t entirely given in the games, or that wasn’t explicitly shown.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  My amazing roleplay partners with all the good work they put into their characters and the love they have shown me and my character so far. I love you guys <3  (<-- keeping that answer bc agreed)

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? i have my doubts sometimes, but i think i do ok. Still, I would love to have more feedback to see how i can improve even more. (<-- keeping bc agreed)

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF I write quite a few of them that never see the light of day, and I constantly and randomly sling little thoughts at my rp partners as they come to me. As for this blog itself, I’d prefer to have my headcanons evident in my writing, so I don’t post things about Cullen’s favourite colour or what he likes to eat for supper every night (and that’s absolutely no shade to people who do post headcanons that way; I honestly wish I operated the same way lol)

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. There’s a few on the blog already, hidden in plain sight.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. Even when I don’t want to think about him, I end up thinking about him. But I like thinking about him, so...

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? I’m still fairly new to the fandom and I’ve been learning a lot about Cullen, what people think about Cullen, what Cullen thinks about himself and others, etc. etc. Plus there are other, more well-established blogs for him out there. I’m honestly surprised I got more than 20 followers tbh.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. I'm my own worst enemy with this one. Like, I know I’m alright but I’m not good enough for myself.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO / SORTA. Some things do bother me a lot more than others, but any annoyance I feel is pretty quickly done after I vent about it. Then I typically forget after a while.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I’m always open to constructive criticism that both highlights what I’m doing well and considerately points out what I could improve upon. 

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  — Of course! I enjoy delving into his character and wondering the “what ifs” of various situations that may or may not occur. And if we can write it together in a thread? Even better!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  No one owes me an explanation as to why they have an opinion, but yes I would like to know why. Maybe I misinterpreted something, or overlooked something. Maybe I made a mistake. I’m human. It happens.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  same as the above.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  — It only bothers me if it’s directed at me. I fully acknowledge that Cullen is controversial and has a very contentious past (or present) that rubs a good amount of people the wrong way. You don’t have to like him, but I do take some issue with people purposely twisting facts to make him out to be worse than what he actually is. I’ve considered writing a post about it truthfully but I don’t want that unbridled hatred to come to my doorstep if/when someone who’s not a fan of him reads it. It’s not worth it. Might do it anyway though. I don’t know.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  — Please do. Politely. English is my native language but I’m still out here making mistakes. smh @ myself

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I’d like to think so, yes. I have a very high tolerance level for a lot of things, don’t get easily triggered, and I’m always willing to chat about character stuff or irl stuff or... anything, basically. 

tagged by: @orsino-the-enchanter tagging: did you read this? then it’s you

[initcne-arch]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK BUT SHE SHOULD BE.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK BUT SHE SHOULD BE.

Are they underrated?  YES THERE IS SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH LOVE FOR DARLENE EVER / NO. / IDK.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO. / SORT OF?? THE FSOCIETY IMAGE IS WELL KNOWN.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. DEPENDS ON WHO YOU ASK!!

How strictly do you follow canon?  — i follow it pretty closely!! mr. robot is excellent content and i don’t feel the need to deviate too far from canon. a lot of her childhood / history is made up by Moi because they simply do not delve into it on the show.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  what ISN’T spicy about darlene alderson!! she’s a genius hacker out to destroy capitalism and eat rich people!! she literally crashed the country’s economy ( unintentionally, but the Power that statement holds ) and exposed the richest and most powerful people in the world, the people who are influencing the global sociopolitical state, and redistributed all their wealth to the people. she’s loud, she’s fiery, she’s argumentative, she’s stubborn as hell. fiona apple’s fetch the bolt cutters (2020) was written for and about darlene. she’s easy to talk to and she talks to people easily. it doesn’t take a lot of effort to strike up a conversation with darlene. y’all remember that post about the two dudes in ny on a subway and a random bottle of wine rolled down the aisle out of nowhere and one guy popped that bad boy open and made friends with the dude sitting next to him?? that’s darlene. if you stick around long enough, she’ll expose you to a world of cybercrime and the american dream conspiracy like you’ve never known before. while she’s at it, she’ll hack into your exes smart thermostat and crank the temperature up until they are forced to leave.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —   look i think darlene is simply the most interesting person ever but there are absolutely aspects to her that are not...outright abhorrent, but things that certainly make her difficult to be around. she’s not the most emotionally stable person--i think i’ve talked enough about her tendency to push people away when they get too close. it’s not the first interaction that’s difficult for darlene, it’s keeping people around that’s difficult. she doesn’t stay in one place for very long. she is, again, loud, fiery, argumentative, and stubborn as hell. she is, frankly, a bitch at times. not everything needs to be sunshine and rainbows, though. she’s involved with cybercrime and all the rings that circle it.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  — honestly i had a url hoarded for her for a Long Time, the series was about to start it’s final season, and i just kind of went why the fuck not!! she’s been my favorite from the beginning and her personality is a complete 180 of my other active muses. i’ve been writing muses from the same series for about *checks watch* seven years now lmao, it was time for me to branch out.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  music has always been my biggest inspiration for writing in general. darlene has her own playlist that i turn on to get the creativity flowing. i find though that when i force myself to write, i either really hate what i’ve written or i simply cannot write, so holding that boundary with myself and saying it’s okay to write on my own time is pretty critical. calm down greg, it’s just fucking tumblr rp. writing headcanons and bouncing ideas off of people helps as well.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / GOD I REALLY HOPE SO LMAO

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO /

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO, I HATE DRABBLES.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / sorta

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. / depends on the day tbfh!!

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / CALM DOWN GREG IT’S JUST FUCKING TUMBLR RP

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  i like to think i handle criticism well but i’ll be upfront and say no one has really criticized my portrayal of darlene?? a lot of the topics in mr. robot are topics i’m very passionate about / am knowledgeable about irl and tbh i do think that gives me a leg up on writing darlene. me like i’m just the Perfect Darlene, thanks.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  absolutely!! i love questions!! i always want to answer questions and talk about darlene!!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure!! just know that you are wrong and i am right!!

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  *leans into the mic* calm down greg, it’s just fucking tumblr rp. also, again, you are wrong and i am right.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  not personally because darlene is...darlene but also like you’re wrong.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  yes, absolutely!! literally i do not proofread anything ever, i simply smash keys and hit post.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   — i know i can sound like a big ol’ bitch who is stingy over darlene but i really don’t think i’m that scary lmao. i don’t take this website too seriously. i’m here for a good time, not a long time. i have the tendency to talk a fucking Lot because sometimes i have a Lot to say and no brain capacity to consolidate it. last night in a groupchat we determined that we are all secretly baby and that’s why we are martinkin.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  goddamn no one lmao Tagging: literally just do it!!

[the-strawzish-clownfish]

Oh, you wanted me to hit you with some? Bet. Do all of them Strawberry

YOBI I LEGIT JUST ASKED SOMEONE THE SAME THING

YOU’RE OMNISCIENT I SWEAR

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I have never considered that before now but thanks for that

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3 probably, I’m not really scared of the dark most of the time (unless it’s literally pitch black), but every once in a while i get really unnerved bc i get rlly paranoid

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Satan

4. What is your favorite word?

“faith” bc my faith and bc synesthesia

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

uhhh flowering cherry bc at my old house my brothers and I each had a tree that my dad planted for us when we were each born and mine was a flowering cherry

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I looked in the mirror this morning?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

coral pink bubba gump shrimp co. t shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

child of God, daughter of Sappho

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright if we’re talking natural light being let in through my windows, dark if we’re talking just normally bc rlly bright lights mess w my sensory issues

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

talking to you yobi

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this age, I’m a firm believer in that things will always get better, even if only one small thing does improve, when i think back on past years i get anxious and nostalgia isn’t good for me

12. Who told you they loved you last?

@toomanyfanfics that one

13. Your worst enemy?

my mental health tbh

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

never experienced romantic attraction, i used to have a plush (qp crush) on one of my best irl friends tho (@ blob have fun with this fact)

16. The last song you listened to?

I am listening to Echosmith’s Cool Kids as I am writing this, before that I was listening to Girls by Marina and the Diamonds, which is a hilarious song i 11/10 recommend

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

myself, I’m not s*icidal but I’m not killing someone else

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

whoever the person who decided Teen Vogue should endorse child pornography was

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

me, I would make myself do actual work for once

20. What is your best physical attribute?

my eyes, i just like them. fun fact this one kid i used to be kinda good friends with was talking with me on snapchat once (bc we did that a lot, back when i had snapchat) and i don’t remember how we got into this but he ended up describing my eyes really weirdly? it was really deep and got kinda strange? it was like a movie scene but via text message and then in the middle of it he was like “wtf am i doing” and i will always remember that (dude if you are for some reason reading this then idek what to say man. sorry). anyone who knows me irl (@ you blob) can take a guess as to who this is

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

idk the answer to either of those questions tbh

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

idek man sorry

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

weed, like i’m genuinely terrified of being in its presence (never been in its presence before), i’ve had nightmares about it

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

EVERY TIME I GO TO SUBWAY I GET THE SAME THING. BUFFALO CHICKEN, RANCH, AND CHEESE ON ITALIAN HERBS AND CHEESE TOASTED. I WOULD REPLICATE THAT

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

go to Atlanta and find a homeless person and buy them some clothes and food and some blankets

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

CANADA

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

first of all why is an angel giving me unlimited alcohol that’s just kinda strange second of all i am a MINOR i am not legally ALLOWED however i will probably just take whatever and give it to some people, someone will like it

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

be kind and do good where you can and if someone wrongs you forgive them

29. What is your favorite expletive?

as;ldkfjasdkgaj;lsdf

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

my cactus!! she is v important to me

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the first thing that comes to mind was really traumatic for me, but it’s what brought me as close as i am to God now so idk that i would get rid of it. idrk man, it really sucked but i’m glad that I’m so much closer to God now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a [redacted bc even though this is a hypothetical i absolutely would never do this and refuse to acknowledge it even in a hypothetical situation]. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

….Canada?

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

idk, peeps are in heaven now and i don’t really wanna take that away from them

34. What was your last dream about?

ask God not me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

no

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

not really, however i have had several surgeries (all on my mouth) so i was in the hospital for those

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I have built a real, genuine snowman once in my life, and the only proof is a picture i have bc i was so little i can’t even remember it. it doesn’t snow in georgia

38. What is the color of your socks?

ain’t wearing em, however most of mine are gray with some colorful bits

39. What type of music do you like?

I have an eclectic mix of favorites.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises all the way, the afternoon and evening make me anxious but nighttime and dawn and early morning are the best times

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

vanilla bitch

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

UGA i guess bc it’s ga and that’s a safe answer, i don’t really follow sports (i watch baseball sometimes though)

43. Do you have any scars?

oh i’m covered in tiny ones, the most notable being one on my thigh that was on my knee when i first noticed it. to this day i do not know how i got it

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

gay

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i wanna be better about lying

46. Are you reliable?

heh depends, when it comes to knowing random things or being stupid, yes, but when it comes to remembering things, such as dates and times and things? absolutely not

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Has it gotten easier?

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes and no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a whelk and a quetzalcoatlus, no i do not accept constructive criticism

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i once spent hours talking to myself about if it is possible for a perfectly fair coin to exist outside of theory

51. Are you a good liar?

I like to think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Oh I could go a looooooooooooooong time, however i do have my chatterbox days and i am known for not shutting up so it’s really a tossup on that one

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

when i was 3 my mom put blonde highlights in my hair and it was absolutely absurd

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

i cannot bake to save my life, however i have made my father cheesecakes for his birthday and they turned out okay so idk

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

sco-ish

56. What do you like on your toast?

a crap ton of butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

dude in a graduation cap

58. What would be you dream car?

idk whatever’s cheap and works

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

uhhh not really no

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i mean i don’t think we’re the only life in the entire universe, so yeah (and also they’ve found traces of ancient bacteria on Mars so if you don’t believe then who are you kidding)

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

occasionally, i don’t believe in astrology but it’s at least somewhat accurate a lot of the time and i like to freak myself out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

you’d think i’d have an answer for this, however i have never thought about this before. so e ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

if your answer to this is dinosaurs then get out of my house

64. What do you think about babies?

they’re good at shrieking, and for that i admire them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

i am not interesting

[bnhahelpwanted]

just because u both were a contributor to a zine once doesn’t mean you know what goes into being a mod

Ask 2 | “life experiences as a freelance artist isn’t the same thing as.. modding a zine? like other anon suggested, you really should at least have someone experienced to handle the finances and shipment of the zine.”

We’ve received two anonymous comments about the issue of us not having mod experience. It needs to be pointed out that both comments were very selective in their statements, disregarding expressed previous experience in graphic design, printing (which includes formatting), shipping (which includes locating items per unit and packaging up to 200 orders per shift), handling finances (which includes ordering inventory on a weekly basis, calculating weekly sales goals, and making daily deposits), as well as management being huge factors in our confidence for starting this zine. Mod roles- from the hours of researching and planning we did before opening an interest check- include: 

A communication/social media mod.

A graphic design/formatting mod.

A financial mod.

A printing/shipping mod.

The same duties, skills, and expectations that apply to actual hired jobs we’ve worked are the same that apply to mods, or selling products of your own, for that matter. We are backed by a few mods who have taken the time to make dedicated and informative posts on how and what to do when modding your own project; one of our favorites is this post. It is ONLY with the direct correlation of previous job experiences that we decided we were going to do this. 

If this is any more comforting, to show how prepared we are wanting to be with finances, we would like you to know all suppliers we plan on using have been decided, with back-ups in place in the event of something happening. (This is where it was stated the tools and resources available to us as current freelance artists comes in handy.) Pricing for a set goal we hope to accomplish as well as a minimum goal to ensure all who work on this zine will get a free physical copy has been written up; it is currently being reviewed by mod Nichole’s personal financial adviser. 

If your concern is that we will have more orders than the two of us can handle, we thank you for your optimism! We are hoping this project does extremely well ourselves. We ask that Sept. 30th comes to pass, as it’s already stated that we are considering bringing on an established mod; the decision is heavily dependent upon if we exceed our goal for the interest check. 

 Closing, this anonymous comment was also received:

Ask 3 | “I don’t see an issue with neither of you having zine experience. I’m annoyed people expect everyone to have modded before. That’s why we get the same mods in a lot of zines and they don’t focus on specific zines anymore or get entitled. I think it’s good you’re a fresh team who wants to focus on this specificially. And I also agree that irl experiences are as important as fandom experiences, idk where the belief that people with irl responsibilites are too naive/bad to host fanzines comes from.”

Here is a link to show we did not send ourselves the ask to counteract the previous two; it was actually the first one received. We held off posting it wanting to avoid appearing confrontational, but we would like to thank them for the vote of confidence, as this is the same regards we would give another mod team with the same background! There are always pros and cons on both fronts.

We will no longer be answering anonymous asks on this issue. Please give us the decency to put a name to the concern, and talk with us directly. 

If it is too much of a concern for you, we completely understand. For those who continue to support this zine from this point forward, we greatly appreciate you giving us the chance to see a project that brings us immense joy to fruition. :)

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Ava

Grace: you okay babes???! Ava: The furthest from without actually being 💀 Grace: Oh my god what even?! aren't you at that uni thing? Ava: For a few more hours yet, give me strength Ava: Last night was Ava: nah Grace: last night was a sorority girl horror 📽🎞 or like ??? Ava: Allegedly a thing but I've yet to see anyone rocking a skinhead without it being a Choice™ Ava: So, everyone else did go to the 📽🎞 last night but I pulled a sickie 'cos Ava: well, that can do one as a concept but also Ava: Are you sure you even want this? It's a whole saga, like 🙄😫 Grace: duh x 10000 Grace: there's nothing anyone can tell me about mean girls 🔪💔 we can skip 📽🎞 when I've IRL lived it Grace: & obvs! talk to me I'm BEYOND concerned Ava: There are no mean girls Ava: and I think the shit I pulled is beyond a Regina level even Grace: UM no way are you casting yourself 👑 thanks! what happened?! Ava: Sorry but you can try and come for the 👑 after I tell you Ava: So they get current pupils to show you around, do the tour, answer questions, do the whole programme with you, right? Ava: Must be good extra credit or whatever, anyway Ava: There's this guy, and the whole time there's this total...vibe, you know? And I'm not delusional or sad like that, its an actual thing but I know him, know of him Ava: so I know why I should just ignore it, but instead when everyone is out, I DM him Grace: excuse you bitch I'm literally reformed but like putting that ASIDE cos this is so much more IMPORTANT!😱😱 Grace: so are we talking a phoneful of regret or IRL walk of shame? Ava: We talked for a while, so I have literal evidence it wasn't just one-sided but truly do not wanna be that girl but like, I swear Ava: anyway, we did go out, properly and it was Ava: so good Ava: but then he had to go and now I have to die Grace: duh it was 😍😍😍 I know what a vibe means Grace: he has a gf yeah? honey we've ALL done it don't even stress he's obvs not that into her Ava: No its Ava: more complex Ava: there's Ava: well, he's married Ava: but he's not as old as that makes him sound but yeah, clearly quite into her Grace: Ew! What's with everyone getting 💍👰 Grace: if Janis gets proposed to I'm kmsing Grace: it doesn't sound that complex though babes, don't let this family fool you, 💔💍 is such a thing™ Ava: Can't see it myself Ava: they are cute though Ava: of course but I'm not out here doing that myself, that's Buster's bread and butter, not mine Ava: they have kids as well, two Grace: 🙄🤢 Grace: totally but we literally NEVER have to tell her or them that shh Grace: well that explains it 🤰👰💍 he probs doesn't even love her Ava: My lips are sealed Ava: One of them is like...6 or something and the other is a baby so there's like no excuse Ava: It didn't come to anything more than a kiss but I'm mortified Grace: 6? How old is he?! Ava: Again, not as old as that makes him sound Ava: 22 ish, in his last year Grace: THANK GOD! I was literally picturing like a hot 40 Ava: Somehow that would be less complicated Ava: Unless he was a friend of my parents or something but not trying to hit every cliche before I even start Uni Grace: UGH! remember when I went to the fair with that lad who turned out to be 19 & everyone lost it like I was being groomed 🙄 Grace: such a drama Grace: this seriously doesn't sound that bad Grace: either he's bored of her or having his 🍰 & 😋 Grace: who stopped it at 😘😘? Ava: Well, he did turn out to be a creep didn't he Ava: but he could've been a 15 year old creep as easily, I see your point Ava: He did Ava: his phone kept going off Ava: it must've been her Grace: yeah & like I totally worked it out for myself from reading the vibe Grace: same as you last night Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: did he answer? did you literally have to sit there 🤐!!! Ava: I think I might've got the vibe seriously wrong Ava: well, no Ava: I don't know Ava: we were in a club, he couldn't Ava: but we left real quick and he hasn't looked at me today so that's been fun Grace: oh girl please Grace: trust, as someone who has gotten the vibe wrong WAY more times than we need to admit outside of this convo, you so didn't Grace: he's having a freakout, we've ALL been there too, yeah? Ava: Clearly Ava: 😂 Ava: Oh God Ava: I just need to pretend this never happened and peace Grace: come over Grace: we'll go out & make some new drama happen Grace: soon as you do, you'll know if he's bothered Ava: Sounds good Ava: If I didn't have two other Unis to hit before Summer officially starts 🙄 Grace: OMG you're so extra Ava: Rude 😂 Ava: Not as if I can go here now, is it? Ava: I'm burning through options, girl Grace: ILY for it 💜 Grace: did you wanna go there for real? Ava: Not hugely Ava: it was in my top 5 but its definitely not 🥇 Grace: 🤷💅 Grace: it was obvs a 🏆💋 so Ava: seriously Ava: though I'm probably gonna find out that he's made time for every girl on this program Grace: did you pick up on any other vibes? Ava: I don't think so Ava: He did say other girls were flirting with him though Grace: 😂 boys always say that Grace: literally will have been hitting refresh waiting on you 💬 Ava: Or, they really were and that was a subtle dig that I just ignored Ava: 🤡🤡 Grace: ugh don't Grace: nobody's looked hotter the morning after babes Grace: he'd be the 🤡 Ava: Minus the HP🗲 scar Ava: idk where that came from, which doesn't bode well for how trashed I must've been Grace: if he was as wasted maybe he doesn't remember & that's why he blanked you cos everything is Grace: 👋 been there Ava: I wish Ava: like I said, we know each other Grace: do you know his 👰? Ava: 😶 Ava: Just kill me now Grace: has he posted anything? Ava: About how much he 💕 his wife and kids? Ava: Fuck knows Grace: well yeah or idk how wasted he was Grace: anything to go on Ava: His 👰 would not approve Grace: if he doesn't have like a private snap he's no 💔 Ava: Wasn't my first question Ava: Probably does but bit late to ask now Grace: you literally could Grace: cringe but no more cringe than running into him playing happy families when you go get coffee Ava: I'm just gonna leave it Ava: Not a moment too soon Grace: 👌👌💜 Ava: When the alcohol leaves my system my head will be less 🤯 Ava: Standard Grace: his too though Grace: maybe he'll come to you Grace: 🤞 yeah or 🤞 no? Ava: I don't know what I want Ava: or feel about any of it Ava: It's better to just assume nah, a pleasant surprise is always better than disappointment Grace: mhmm Ava: Shut up Ava: I'm confused and hungover, I don't know anything 🙄😏 Grace: no shade Ava: I know Ava: This is too extra Ava: even from me, right Grace: you can wear the 👑 until I earn it back Grace: cos duh who's more extra Grace: me, this hoe Ava: 😂 I'm ready for it Grace: you gotta let me have it there's no 😘💖😍 in my 🔮 Ava: Not even a little? Grace: there was a little but it got too much Grace: too close to being like Grace: I can't Grace: I'm out Ava: I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be, honestly Grace: makes me feel like I'm cracking up Grace: no thanks Ava: Preaching to the converted today Grace: 🙌 Ava: I'll definitely come over some point this Summer though Grace: YAY Grace: I so need you Ava: I think me and the 'rents are going the first two weeks, then I'm going with my friends the last two Ava: so sometime in the middle to play with Grace: ugh if only my mum and dad were organised about anything ever Grace: god knows when or where they'll spring a hol 🙄🙄 Ava: All fun and games Ava: least you get more space these days, I guess Grace: if they're gonna be annoying I'll just bring you with 🤷 Ava: Three holidays would be a record Grace: hot older lad who?! 😂 Grace: Brazil is on another level Ava: If there's sun and sea, I'm happy Grace: you'll be sooo 😊 Ava: 😘 Grace: 💜 Ava: I did not think that would be such a rant Ava: IOU a coffee, I'll ping you the funds rn forreal Grace: As if! like I've NEVER done you that way Grace: shhh Ava: It's done Ava: Consider it a reminder we need a proper catch up when my head is less fried Grace: 👌👌 fine Ava: Don't be mad, it is essential some good happens today Grace: It's fine babes, promise Ava: Good Ava: I better try and finish this essay thing Ava: Or at least make a better start Grace: or at least get yourself a coffee & put some lipstick on Ava: Cheers, I know I look clapped 😂 Grace: shut up Grace: you do not! Ava: I wouldn't wanna chat to me either tbh Grace: Girl, stop Grace: this convo has been wild & I'm living Ava: I meant him, not you 😉 Ava: Only subjected socials to one pic, like Grace: well duh he wants to kiss you again not have a chat Grace: if you wanna talk you'll have to Grace: there's only one kind of convo lads ever start Ava: Hmm Ava: Have better luck with this essay than thinking of something worth saying Grace: what do you wanna say? Grace: like if you could just Ava: Christ Ava: firstly, what the fuck? Grace: he can't shade you for starting there Ava: Though I initiated it so, ugh Grace: he didn't have to go along with any of it Grace: his wife & kids were literally waiting at home for him so Grace: you like deserve to know if there are other girls or not Ava: What's more insane though Ava: asking around every girl on this course, or asking him Ava: There are definite drawbacks either way from where I'm sitting Grace: you said you know him, how much does he lie? Grace: asking him will be more than cringe if you can't believe a word, it'll be pointless Ava: I don't know him like that but Ava: I suppose I've heard that he's a typical lad in most regards so Grace: yeah Ava: but that's from one source so Ava: who's to say they're 100% reliable Grace: right Grace: I'll stalk the other girls, obvs am insane so Ava: No Ava: 'cos then I'll have to tell you who he is Ava: and it'll all get out of hand Grace: OMG do I know him??! Ava: How would you? Ava: 'course not Grace: then why does it matter if you tell me or not? Ava: I'll sort it myself Grace: Ava Grace: is it already out of hand? Ava: That'd depend on who you asked too Grace: I'm asking you Ava: I've got this Grace: promise Ava: 🤞 Grace: 👌

[nikatyler]

Tomorrow I’m going to Italy for a week, so I quickly wanted to talk about some things and reply to your comments from the past month. This is my last chance before we go. I might have wifi (I had it the past two times we went to this place) but still, I don’t think I’ll be around too much. I’ll catch up later. Simblr, promise you won’t start any drama when I’m not here, thank you. I’ll be back on 30th July, I think. I’m not sure when exactly we’ll be home.

I haven’t started the BC yet, but I’ll work on it when I get home. I’ve often seen people say they played through their BCs quickly, so hopefully that’ll be my case too. I don’t want you to wait too long! (And yes, I also really want to know who wins. Obviously.)

You might have noticed that my queue is a little longer now. I’m posting 9 posts a day and it’ll stay like this at least until BPR ends, I think. Speaking of which, all of BPR gen 1 is queued/drafted (and ready to be queued)! It’ll last for the next two months or so and then, as I promised, NSB is back. I honestly can’t wait for these guys to come back.

Also, I finally finished reading Kingdom of Ash yesterday and ooh boy. It was good. However, looking back to when I read the first book of the series, I had no idea I would be signing up for this. Throne of Glass, man...simpler times :D

dandylion240 replied to your post “I have a spot for any sim with the name of Caleb. Love gen 4 Caleb and...”

Oh that's a cool idea. I could see them being best friends!

Exactly! I’m dying to get Strangerville to see their friendship in action. I almost bought it when it was on sale in June (?), but I couldn’t. I was so close though D:

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Alright, good morning everyone! This is where it’ll all take place....”

Loving this look for her!! It's kinda weird after being used to her with blue hair but I like it!!

Honestly I’ve wanted to do this for a long time but this always stopped me. I always knew how weird it would be because I’m not used to it, but then I just decided to go for it and suffer for a bit lol. Worth it!

desira-sims replied to your photoset “felt cute, might burn down your house later, idk ��‍♀️��...”

This is too cute!

She is an adorable sim *-*

starburstshores replied to your post “Ahh, now that I can, I don’t feel like creating the replies post at...”

I started my simblr in university but ofc it depends ��

mintsweettea replied to your post “Ahh, now that I can, I don’t feel like creating the replies post at...”

If it makes you feel any better, I didn't start playing Sims (on pc, I used to play the original GameCube one) until I was away at college so there's that ��

I believe that I will have some time to play sims. Maybe not as much as I had in high school, but there’ll be something. I’m just not sure what I want to do with this free time. If I really want to spend it all by playing sims, ya know? I want to finally have some real life when I’m in uni. Don’t get me wrong, I love this game, I love this community, but it’s not everything. I’m tired of being lonely irl.

xiapxls replied to your post “Re: how to get people to play ask games. Well, it would be helpful if...”

yeah it does i feel like a solid 2/3 of the asks i send just... disappear somewhere and never actually get delivered. it makes talking to people on this site pretty difficult :(

That’s weird...

Guys, if you ever send an ask and I don’t respond, chances are I couldn’t even see it because tumblr ate it. I try to answer everything I get. Feel free to send it again.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “I have some tasks I need to work on…oooh, this ten seasons long TV...”

Hello, me

Me two

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Put some clothes on, you fool. “Nah.”

What's the deal with him?��

He’s too sexy for his clothes...wait, that was a song, wasn’t it? Don’t actually answer, I don’t want it to get stuck in my head :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Why would we watch the stars when the sky is so cloudy tonight? Oh…I...”

Gwyneth is a cutie❤️

She is! I can’t get enough of her face ;-;

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Take that as a yes, Eden.”

I'd be happy for them but this generation and spoilers about the pink kids make me rather suspicious ��

I can promise that we haven’t seen the last of Eden...but whether things will be good between them or not, I won’t reveal just yet.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Geez…just thinking about ruined waffles is making me physically sick....”

Are that the waffles though?

It’s never really the waffles

sparkiemonkey replied to your post “Sooo...”

I've killed a few, nearly killed the whole set of an edit I'm working on. I forgot it was summer and had everyone in warmer clothing.

Oh my god, that makes me feel a little better about myself. That hasn’t happened to me...yet.

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “My kind lost their rainbow skin colours a long time ago. You could say...”

Favorite moment? It had to be when Ross and Caleb finally got together!!!

Ahh, I remember when I played through that! I don’t think I was going to get them together at that point, but then they were sitting there and I just thought “screw it, just kiss already”.

cloudberry-sims replied to your photoset “Roxanne Clare artistic | absent-minded”

Adorable!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Roxanne Clare artistic | absent-minded”

Cute! ❤️

This legacy was blessed with adorable toddlers, just wait for it.

fogbrookcrossing replied to your photoset “Roxanne: “Food!” Gwyneth: “There you go, Roxy! Sorry it took me a...”

Roxy is so polite. ��

I mean...she’s not wrong.

froggypixel replied to your photoset “Be free, my child!”

Funny thing about this is that she’s literally headed down hill����

That’s the best thing about it!