#does it show that I basically never buy brand new books?

[forgottenswan]

My precious package arrived.🖤

[cursedcola]

Prompt: Couples will evidently begin to mimic their better half after some time. What traits do you steal from him, and vice versa? Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Characters: Everyone - because I want to and I’m amidst fleshing out all my Yuu/Character dynamics + designs Format: Headcannons. Masterlist: LinkedUP Parts: Heartslabyul (Here) | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia A/N: Putting all my brain rot from my notes into something cohesive. Contrary to my love for ripping your hearts out, I've come with some fluff this time around. BTW you may or may not already do things mentioned - I write my works with a specific Yuu in mind for each character so this is based on them. Just a reminder.

Habits you steal:

Plan-Books (Inherited) : Riddle habitually carries a planner with all his tasks. A physical one, not an app in his cell phone like most students choose. You find it easier to manage and swap to paper-and-pen alternatives at his recommendation.

Tidiness (Inherited): Riddle is a nit-pickier when it comes to physical presentation. His habits of pressing his uniform, laying his clothes out every night, and dressing conservatively rub off. He has a point - ironed trousers do make a difference. Every morning he will redo your uniform tie. It's never knotted to his 'standard', and is his preferred excuse to greet you before class.

"Now, isn't that better? Surely you are more comfortable in ironed linens than those rags you'd been wearing as pajamas. You seriously found them lying in Ramshackle? Were you not given an allowance to buy basic needs? Ridiculous! The Headmaster's irresponsibility holds no bounds!" <- Utterly appalled that you've been sleeping in century-old robes. He supplies you with seven sets of pajamas, a spare uniform, and an iron + board for Ramshackle. All after reaming the Headmaster for neglect in the last dorm-head meeting - either Crowley coughed up the marks or Riddle will supply from his own bank. Seven have mercy if he chooses to become a lawyer instead of a doctor.

No Heels (Developed): Riddle has a height complex. He won't make a show of it, but you wearing heels does emasculate him. Especially if you're already taller naturally. For his sake, you choose to slay your outfits in flats.

"Are those new loafers? Oh - no, they're lovely. The embroidery is exquisite and I can see why Pomefiore's Housewarden models for their brand. I merely thought you preferred the heeled saddle-shoes we saw during the past weekend trip. I must have been mistaken. Never mind me. You look wonderful."

Playing Brain Teasers (Inherited): Riddle has this thing with memory - you don't know if he's really into preventing old-age Alzheimer's or what. He carries a book of teaser games like Sudoku, etc. for when he has downtime and you eventually get into them too.

"Oh! My Rose, would you care to join me for lunch? Trey's siblings recently mailed in a large collection of cross-words. You'll find they are both educational and entertaining - hm? I do not seem the 'type' for word-games? I assure you, even I can relax on occasion. There is no need to look so surprised." <- Riddle's been making a grand effort to do things he enjoys and become more personable. Trey's siblings did not send the collection. Riddle went into town and picked it out on his own. He also found a book on organizing excursions since he's big on quality time. He is dead-set on not being a neglectful or 'boring' partner.

Swear Jar (Developed): Tired of Riddle collaring Ace for his vulgar tongue, you suggest a Heartslabyul swear jar. When the jar gets filled, the money can be used to fund things like study materials and renovations for the dorm. Riddle liked this idea, but now implements it on anyone who sets foot in the Heartslabyul. Considering you spend most of your time there, you've had to develop a vast vocabulary beyond swearing. Oh - you also unironically use the word 'fiddlesticks' now.

Habits he steals:

Useless Expenses (Inherited): You are an enabler without a doubt. Riddle has always functioned with the bare bones - with function and efficiency being the number one priority. Ever so slowly - you've spoiled him with aesthetically pleasing stationary. At first all the needless purchases felt redundant - why buy the pillowcases with flowers when plain white is cheaper? You can invest in a higher quality this way. Yet you've ruined him with gifts that he had no choice but to use. Now he needs to buy the pens with little hedgehogs on them because studying doesn't feel the same with a plain ballpoint.

Slang Dictionary (Developed): With each passing day, all the students in Heartslabyul get more creative at bending the rules. That includes you. Riddle takes it upon himself to carry a 'little-black-book' full of all the sang words he is unfamiliar with. He does want to be a bit more 'hip' to understand you more, but at the same time he wants to bust any student being a smart-mouth. It's an ongoing battle *sigh*.

"Apologies, could you repeat that term for me? Surely it must be relevant to my lecture if you and Ace are whispering. 'Let him cook'? Do you think we are in a culinary lecture?! Have you not been listening to - ah. So it's in reference to letting me finish before interrupting...One moment. I need to make a note."

Chewing Gum (Developed): This is an ode to psychology. In short, eating is tied to a person's fight-or-flight. Instincts dictate that our bodies need to be in a calm state to eat comfortably. One day when Riddle was at his wits end, you tossed him a pack of sugarless gum and told him to chew. Disregarding Trey's unholy dental screeching, Riddle develops a gum dependence for when he's stressed out. On the bright side, his jaw has never been so sharp.

“Mimicry? You must be mistaken. Even if my influence has affected their person, surely there are only positive developments” == Riddle denies any changes if confronted. In truth, he’s well aware of how much you’ve helped him grow. It’s the opposite accusation that spikes concern. Riddle does not want others thinking you’re a mini-version of him. Rumors are not kind and neither is his current reputation. Making those amends is his burden to bare. He is flattered to see you paying attention to his mannerisms, and secretly proud that your bond is strong enough to affect the psyche.

Habits you steal:

Whistling (Inherited): Trey whistles while working in the kitchen or doing general chores around the dorm. He's not very loud with it, so not may students are bothered. Since you laze about in his shadow the tunes he goes through do become repetitive. Now you do the same when cleaning up Ramshackle. Grim wants to knock you both out because he can't take it anymore.

"Ah -- How'd you know it was me in here? Just because I bake for the un-birthday parties doesn't mean I live in the kitchen, you know. My whistling? Huh. Never thought that would be my calling card but there are worse things, haha"

Head-Scratching (Inherited): Trey's got a habit of scratching the back of his head when he's uncomfortable or nervous. That, or rubbing at the nape of his neck while adverting eye contact. You start doing this too whenever you're being scolded or put in a tough situation.

Dental Hygiene (Inherited): By far the most obvious shared trait. Trey enforces his dental habits onto everyone- you are no exception. You now own four different kinds of floss, two toothbrushes (one being electric), and have a strict hygiene routine. Your pearly whites have never been so clean. Eventually you become somewhat of a secondary enforcer, policing anyone who sleeps over your dorm to take care of themselves before bed. All of Heartslabyul learns that there is no going back when you scold Riddle for not brushing after his teatime tart, and live to tell the tale.

"Hey - uh, weird question? Were you handing out floss to the Spelldrive Team yesterday? Seriously? I though Grim was pulling my leg - oh, no! It's not weird at all! Those guys should have a better routine for all the meat they eat when bulking. I'm just shocked you got through to them." <- Very proud. Mildly cocky. He's been itching to get those negligent jocks to floss after their banquets his entire tenure, but steered away from that conflict like the plague. Thank you for making his dreams come true. Now if you could maybe get them to stop picking their gums with toothpicks?

Habits he steals:

Overbuying Food (Developed): Being a baker's son, Trey's good with finances and money. He's also meticulous with the ingredients he purchases for his bakes. You are not. You go to Sam's shop, buy whatever is on sale, and then bring it back home to improvise. This ends poorly more often than not, and behold! Trey has two Ramshackle sluggers snooping around his kitchen for eats. This is unpredictable and therefore he now never knows what amount to buy. You've ruined him.

Phone Calls (Developed): Texting is easier. Especially since phone calls can be a commitment that Trey dislikes being wrapped up in. Whenever Cater's name pops up as the caller, Trey knows he's getting an ear full. The thing is that you never. answer. your. phone. Either the text gets lumped in with the hundreds of missed messages you have, or Grim stole your cell to play mobile games. So Trey gives up and only ever calls. Either Grim will answer or you'll pick up thinking it's the snooze of your alarm.

"Hello? Prefect, where are you? It's me, Trey. Just calling to see if you're still coming to the Un-Birthday party? Riddle's getting a bit nervous since the schedule's set for the next hour. Grim's already here with Ace and Deuce - uh, want Cater to send a double to pick you up? I have a sinking feeling that you're asleep...Call me? Please?" <- He was correct. You called back not a moment after, half-asleep and hauling ass not to be late.

Speaking in Propositions (Inherited): Trey's normally good at keeping neutrality in a conversation, but getting a clear answer out of Yuu you is like solving a rubix cube. Either it's easy and instant, or a long game. Eventually your habit of indecisiveness rubs off on him and he asks questions more than answers them. Evidently this gets his younger classmen to stop asking for favors unless they really need to.

“Aha - really? I didn’t notice at all. Okay. Okay, I picked up on a few hints. What’s so wrong with them taking after me? It’s cute, right?” == Trey is the observant sort that picks up on his influence quickly. Not just anyone carries floss in their pocket at all times - and the looks from his dorm-mates when you offer some up is enough for the realization to click. Trey’s used to playing the respectable sort, and finds it endearing that you’re taking his good notes to heart. In truth, most of Trey’s mimicry is intentional. He’s a flexible guy who doesn’t mind altering his habits to fit your needs. Easier this way, y’know?

Habits you steal:

Speaking in Acronyms(Inherited): Now this is scary. The first time it happened, you had to take a pause and just re-evaluate your entire life. You don't use them nearly as often as Cater does, but somewhere along the line your brain must have rewired to speak in internet lingo. O-M-G you're TOTALLY twinning with him right now, period :)

Nicknames (Inherited): Again, frightening. You once swore against ever calling him Cay-Cay. It isn't very slay-slay. Yet you can only hear him use nicknames for so long until you're unconsciously calling people by them too. Especially since he's always dishing gossip. It starts in your head, which is fine. It's not like they know. Then you call Lilia 'Lils' and that old fart is just grinning behind his sleeve because ohoho~ young love <3

"Did you just- AHA! OMG DO IT AGAIN?! Wait, gotta get my camera out for this - wha? Oh, that's totes not fair! C'mon. Call me Cay-Cay. Just once! I won't even post it to Magicam, please? Lils won't believe me without proof! Pleasssssseeeee - " <- He actually doesn't want you to call him Cay-Cay all the time. Cater likes you using his given name, since it's more personal. Although the way it obviously slipped out on accident is just too cute to ignore.

Reality TV (Inherited): At first you don't like the gossip. It's cheesy, a bit annoying, and the shaky camera-work for nearly every show is headache inducing. Cater likes his dose of drama in his free-time, and Ramshackle has a tv that no one is using. It starts with him watching while you do other things around the dorm. Yet each time you pass the living area, you take longer to leave. Lingering around like one of the ghosts. Then he pulls you in with snacks and starts giving the low-down of what's going on, pulling out a bottle of tangerine shimmer polish to paint your nails. It's just one episode, watch it for him? Please? Oh no. No. No. Suddenly you're invested in who's the baby-daddy of little Ricky and what Chantel is going to do because her sister just lost the house to foreclosure.

"#KingdomOfDeadbeats - am I right? Ugh. I'm so glad we met if that's the dating scene back home...What?! I know it isn't real! Don't be a dummy, I was just joking! Ah! Stop! Don't hit me!" <- Half-hearted jokes about going on one of those talk-shows one day. You're an alien, after all - imagine the juicy drama and views his account would get from doing an interview? It's all jokes though. Cater likes spilling the tea, but hates being it. Don't ever abandon him and go out for milk though, kay? He doesn't want to pay Grim's child support. Otherwise he might have no choice smh

Habits he steals:

Phone/Web Games (Inherited): Cater's phone is mainly full of social media. He's not too into the gaming scene, it's not his peeps y'know? Alas, you download a few dress-up games and one MMO on his phone. First off - props on getting his phone. That's Cay-Cay's lifeline and not just anyone gets to play with it. Pray tell - what is this Wonderstar Planet (props if you know what is being ref.) and how can he become the most influential digital streamer on it? Congrats. He's addicted.

"Who's this Muscle Red and why's he bombing our raid - AH! He just tea-bagged me! So not cool...Prefect? STOP LAUGHING WE HAVE BETS ON THIS MATCH! There goes my collab opportunity, big fail" <- Muscle Red continues to make an appearance. Eventually he becomes Cater's official rival on stream, and Lils is all to invested in the tea cater drops during club meets. Side note. You're the one who gave 'muscle red' Cater's domain code. The lore thickens.

Internet Caution (Developed): This goes without saying, but Cater's well-known in the Magicam scene. He's very forward and knows his way around using charisma. Since you're not in the scene as much, he becomes more cautious of where and when he does streams. The change is so subtle that only the most observant people will pick up on it - but Cay-Cay doesn't want any creepos popping in if y'know what I'm saying. His sisters were the ones to instigate this change.

“Awe~ SRSLY?! That’s fresh news to my ears but good, right? Ne, are there any clips or pics? I need my evidence, y’see. Especially if my cutie is off taking notes from their one and only. C’mon, spill the tea!” == Cheeky Cater is well aware of what’s happening. He’d humor anyone out for some light teasing - after all, he isn’t by your side at all hours. His walls are probably the second most difficult in all of campus to bypass, so he’s both sweetened and nerved to see you picking up on his mannerisms. That’s proof of a strong attachment, after all.

Habits you steal:

Knuckle Cracking (Inherited): Deuce still does this from his biker days. It could be because joint pain from past fights, or possibly air retention in his knuckles from studying. Regardless, Deuce cracks his knuckles at least once every few hours and you began to mimic him. Some people groan at the popping sounds but it really does feel good to release the tension. Let's just hope neither of you dislocate any fingers on accident.

"Stop that! G-geez, you nearly gave me a heart attack. Thought you broke a finger...your hands are stiff? That just means you're studying a lot! I think...uh, let's break? I think there's some leftovers in the kitchen." <- Deuce 100% gets needing to pop those air bubbles. His hands get stiff from studying all the time, but don't crack them too much or you might dislocate something. Side note - he shows you how to wrap your fingers with a soothing salve. He used to do it after fights, but now it's a great help after class.

Double Notes (Developed): Deuce tries. He really does. Yet the lad just isn't great when it comes to book smarts. Seeing that he is dedicated to turning over a new leaf, you make a habit of copying all your notes. He isn't allowed to share them with Ace or Grim - else all bets are off. Sometimes you leave little 'good job' stickers on the last page for him. Is he a toddler? No. Does he peel the stickers off and save them? Totally. He is a good noodle. Suck it Ace.

Sewing (Developed): He breaks things. Most of the time it's an accident. You've learned to carry a mini-sewing kit for all the rips in Deuce's uniform. Same for mini remedies for stains and other problems. It's not like he's trying to get grass stains all over his under-shirt or to split the seam in his gloves (nearly every week). It just happens, and every time he comes to you with a kicked-puppy look with a promise of it being the last time. It is never the last time.

"Uhm...hun'? It happened again. I'm so sorry for bothering you but Housewarden is going to kill me if he sees the tear in my blazer! Can you fix it?! I can't handle another collar with my exam tomorrow! I need to breathe to focus! - really!? I owe you one! Snacks are on me tonight."

Habits he steals:

Bottomless Stomach (Developed): Have leftovers from dinner? Bring them over. He'll get the tubba-ware back in 1-2 days. Coupon for buy-one-get-one at Sam's? He'll take the extra and polish it off in less than a minute. Deuce becomes a human garbage disposal and is taking the unwanted condiments off your sandwich to eat. Just pick them off and leave 'em on the corner of his lunch plate. Even if he dislikes it, he'll down it so you don't have to.

"Mm. Oh, thanks hun' - its that all you're eatin'? You don't like the steam bun? It is a bit dry, but wasting food is disrespectful to the cooks! I'll finish it for you so have my fruit instead. You still need to eat" <- 10/10 very thoughtful and not picky at all. He is grateful to eat your cooking and will gobble up all leftovers at Ramshackle, but doesn't think twice to sharing meals in the cafeteria. He will notice though if you do not eat enough. Restocks the snack cabinet if he sees it's empty. Is touched if you routinely share things you know he enjoys, like saving half your frittata on purpose.

Early Riser (Inherited): See - even if you hate the mornings, there is no choice at Night Raven College. As Ramshackle Prefect you need to be up to take care of business before class. Deuce becomes your personal alarm clock because he wants some time with you before everyone else joins in. Mind you that he lives with three other dudes who threaten to end him every morning because his alarm wakes them up too. Eventually he can wake up without it, but the time leading is unpleasant.

"W-what? Seriously? I've been trying to be more like them! They're a good person and responsible so I've been trying to follow their example. To think we've been doing the same thing this entire time...." == Why would you ever imitate him? He's been trying his damn best to become an honor student worth respecting, and has a long way to go. To think you're comfortable enough with him to mimic his mannerisms? It's a pipe dream, one he doesn't grasp until it's put right in front of his face. You don't let anyone else pick off your plate other than Grim. The next time his clothes tear, he's already handing off his tie before realizing just what's happening. When you wrap his knuckles after a six-hour lock in at the library? He can't help but feel proud at how neat the bandages are. Suddenly the dark memories of hiding bruised knuckles from his mom are pacified with healing balm. Deuce views this development as a gift, and is grateful. Very, very grateful.

Habits you steal:

‘I owe you’ cards (Inherited): Ace's favorite social invention - the 'solid'. Nothing spells new-low like getting your friends to do stuff in exchange for a favor in the future. Most of the time Ace counts on people forgetting he owes them one, but you're not so gullible. The only difference between you both is that while Ace never fulfills his solid, you have a conscience. Give it a few more years. He'll get ya.

"I know this is the third ticket this week but - Oh! C'mon, cut a guy some slack, would you? I'm sorry for bein' late to our date. Yeah, it was shitty. I'm not trying to fight it, aright? I'm here now so let's have some fun and you can chalk three strikes on my tab. I'll even buy ya some candy - Ah! Okay! Two candies but that's where my charity ends!" <- Evidently, the 'I-owe-you' tabs cancel each other out from how often you both call in favors. It's just an excuse to do acts of service or express apologies without being too mushy. Ace is definitely keeping a track record of them though. Expect an ongoing log that dates back to the week you met, when he showed up homeless, collared, and looking to couch surf.

Profanity (Inherited): Ace swears like a sailor. Maybe not so much in his dorm because *cough* he's being policed. He holds no such reservations when you're both alone at Ramshackle. Unfortunately his potty mouth has a mind of it's own - it taints you, and you are a sham of a prefect. Ace earned a week-long collar for teaching you some Twisted-Wonderland exclusive curses. Riddle is not pleased.

Leaving the Windows Unlocked (Developed): There are only so many times he can sneak in through your window before the adrenaline-induced charm wears off. You have class in the morning, and can't be bothered to deal with him on nights he can't pass out in his dorm. Thank seven you have all of Ramshackle to yourself - because Heartslabyul sounds like a nightmare with the roommate situation. You can't leave the front door open for obvious reasons, but most nights the guest-bedroom window will be left slightly ajar in case he needs a place to crash.

"Pssst! Oi! Prefect! ...ugh, Grim! Wake them up, man! The latch is stuck. Don't go back to bed you furball! HEY! IT'S FREAKIN COLD OUT HERE SO LET ME IN ALREADY" <- Please let him in. If Ace has to spend one more night in that stinky dorm with three dudes, he'll string one of their dirty gym socks over your bed. No mercy.

Sleeping with Earplugs (Developed): Bitch Ace snores.

Habits he steals:

Notes Memo (Developed): Ace is bad with remembering things. Anniversaries? Dates? Allergies? He admits to not putting in a great amount of effort, but you can't say he doesn't try at all. He has a notes block on his phone dedicated to things like your go-to takeout orders and preferences. He even has a few alarms set days before any important events because even if you say no-gifts or plans...yeah, he's not that stupid.

Excessive Yawning (Inherited): You're always tired - it wasn't Ace's problem before but now he does feel a bit guilty. Dragging you into his messes felt different when you were just the prefect, y'know? Regardless, it's human instinct to mimic each other's demeanor so he'll openly yawn all the time - normally in succession of you.

"Hey...you're dozing off again. Am I seriously that boring to hang around? - Nah. Just messin' with you. I'd suggest taking a nap during next period but I doubt a goody-goody like you is gonna take that advice. Let's just ditch juice at lunch and go back to the dorm. Don't get mad if I forget to wake you up though"

Medications (Developed): Ace is the last person to become a human apothecary, but he's always got a pack of pain-reliever meds in his pocket with a few bandages, etc. He also attached one of those tiny capsule bottles to his keyring with some stomach meds inside. You took a spill running laps? Dang man. That sucks. Here's a band-aid for your knee. Curse you for making him the slightly-more responsible one.

"Eh..what, like it's a shock? You saying I'm a bad influence? Cause yeah, that checks. Nothin' I can do if they want to take a card outta my deck though," == Ace is entirely neutral on the topic. He is definitely smug that you're coming over to the dark side, but he doesn't need anyone to point it out. He was your first after all. Maybe the start could have been a bit better - but hey, you came around. It's not like he's hurting anyone by helping build your backbone. Although Ace will instantly deny going soft for you in any way, shape, or form.

[generational-atrophy]

hetalia axis & allies (+ canada) xmas headcanons

1.6k words ~ gender neutral headcanons

tw: uhhh christmas obviously. mention of religion and underwear?? uh... i think that's it

a/n: this is my first christmas as a jewish convert so that's been weird. anyway I just wanted something quick, so its mostly a list of gift ideas (:

America

Alfred is SUCH a huge Christmas fan. I mean, canonically he dresses up as Santa, so he goes all out for the entire month of December. He's been working on a huge holiday home display for decades, and it shows.

He plays Santa at his local mall during the weeks leading up to Christmas; and on the night of, he hands out hot cocoa outside his house. It's fun, but it also means he's a little distracted when it comes to you.

What he would get you: Posters of your favourite movies, super comfy pyjamas, expensive figures of characters you like, candy you like but never get for yourself, model planes or Legos for you two to build together, novelty pens, a stupid cowboy costume so you can match <3, those handmade coupons because he 1. Loves you and 2. Forgot about Christmas until yesterday

What he would want: Any video games, Funko Pops, vinyls of music he likes, those big packs of shirts (he is constantly running out of shirts because he rips or irreparably stains them,) Marvel comics, anything with an eagle on it, those mini wacky waving inflatable tube men things, bulk pens and pencils because he also breaks those constantly-

England

Arthur is not big into Christmas and never has been. He'll celebrate with you, but he's not going out when it comes to any aspect. If anything, he finds it a little exhausting getting gifts for everyone

But, he does adore walking around and looking at all the lights. He'll do that a couple times with you in December.

What he would get you: Any novel you’ve mentioned even once, tickets to a concert both of you will enjoy, classy jackets that fit you perfectly, cute keychains, fancy art supplies, fragrances that remind him of you, bags/purses that fit your style, CDs

What he would want: Sewing supplies (thread, new needles, new fabric scissors,) framed photos of the two of you, Doctor Who merch, foreign tea, a book on how to take care of your eyebrows properly (he will not learn otherwise,) slippers, those sarcastic magnets that all millennial women have at least one of, any ridiculous piece of merch with the union jack on it

France

Francis has very mixed feelings about Christmas. On one hand, he hates how consumerist it has become, but on the other hand, nothing makes him happier than seeing the joy the season brings to others.

Plus, he does enjoy giving and receiving presents. The music too? Wonderful. As long as you don't get too stressed out, the holiday should be perfect.

What he would get you: Tons of clothes; stuff that's already your style, and completely new stuff, room decorations (NOT posters,) a reservation at a nice restaurant, bracelets that he made for you, makeup (if you like that kind of thing,) candles that smell like his cologne, CHEESE

What he would want: Fancy fabric, any clothes (he doesn’t care what they are as long as you think they’d look good on him…) paintings or photography, literally ANYTHING creative you’ve made, hair ties (he loses at least 5 a day,) bird stuffed animals, (Basically anything! Francis is not picky)

China

Christmas is a new occurrence for Yao, and he isn't the biggest fan. He'll buy you stuff for it, but he would do that normally. The lights and the music aren't anything special to him either. Basically, he won't celebrate unless you want to.

What he would get you: Elaborate, very expensive jewellery, huge stuff like a car, Chinese cookbooks, traditional clothes that he made specifically to represent you (: luxury handbags (that he got at SUCH a good discount,) tons of weird off-brand merch of your favourite show, probably a nice meal too!

What he would want: Yao is hard to buy for. Soft robes, stuff to help with back pain, face masks, Hello Kitty keychains… reading glasses maybe?

Russia

Although he isn't as excited about Christmas as he is about the New Year, he still loves the holiday. It's a nice excuse to see family, and everyone is just so happy around the season! He's especially excited to celebrate it with you.

He's not the best at giving gifts, but he could be worse. Regardless of whether you like all of it, you're gonna get a lot of stuff.

(Also, he plays Santa for the kids sometimes. It's so cute-)

What he would get you: Random knick-knacks he probably found at a local market, knitted hats and gloves in your favourite colour, a scarf to match his, tickets to go somewhere warm on vacation, stuffed animals! books that made him think of you (usually philosophical or religious novels,) pretty rocks (:

What he would want: SUNFLOWERS! (This works for every occasion,) baked goods, clothes that aren’t 250 years old- new doilies and paintings to decorate his house, pictures of yourself, friendship bracelets, stuffed animals, if you can make a scarf somehow, DO THAT

North Italy

Feliciano cares about Christmas in a more religious way, but he's never mad about getting presents. So, he'll probably spend most of the day in church, but he still did put a lot of effort into getting you stuff you love.

What he would get you: Pajamas & bath robes, shitty romance novels that he wants you to read, weird hand-made knick-knacks, makeup, strange mugs that he found at a thrift store, a painting of you (: probably a pair of his boxers-

What he would want: New paint brushes, novelty pasta shapes, fancy jackets, any art that you’ve made (regardless of quality,) cat stuffed animals, The Ability To Get A Grip, skincare products, shiny garbage (For art purposes, duh,) those handmade coupon things

Germany

Ludwig does not enjoy Christmas particularly. He's terrible at giving gifts but he wants to so desperately that he spends all of winter stressing out about it. Yes, he's excited to see your reaction to his gifts, but at what cost?!

Although he does still like all the decorations at least. Maybe he just likes re-decorating though.

What he would get you: Puzzles you can complete together, soft sweaters, practical stuff you need (like book bags, lens cloths, that kind of thing,) stationery, reservations for private tours at museums you would find interesting, a subscription to whatever silly service you want (:

What he would want: Books about city planning, nerdy card games, a fun lanyard, a new coffee machine, those aroma-therapy diffuser things, household tools like vacuums and stuff (Get him an air fryer. He’s going to be fascinated.) stress balls, pens (He is boring.)

Japan

Kiku really has no particular feelings towards Christmas. If you weren't there, the most he would do was put up a mini tree. He's stressed out by both giving and receiving presents and is only willing to do that kind of thing if you want to.

What he would get you: Electronics, merch of your favourite Sanrio character, books that he thinks you’ll like, stickers, a bento box, comfy sweatpants, cute hairpins, plushies from your favourite media, a bunch of pillows, some obscure Japanese snacks too!

What he would want: Miku figures, posters, video games, manga, general nerdy stuff, history novels (he likes to correct them,) blackout curtains, cute face masks, a Polaroid camera, a guide on socialization (Seriously.) a knit scarf, if you can knit (:

South Italy

Romano desperately wants to care about Jesus more than getting gifts. He's a devout catholic, g*ddamnit! But... he does just really love eating baked goods and getting gifts more than anything. Getting together with family, the music, the lights, he just ADORES the holiday.

What he would get you: Blankets and pillows, your favourite snacks, clothes that are a little more revealing- cruise tickets (if going on wouldn’t be hell for you,) a journal where he wrote down all of the things he loves about you (completely honestly,) religious items, fancy perfumes

What he would want: Paintings from local artists, post-its (so he can finally remember SOMETHING,) anything with the Italian flag on it, stupid bumper stickers, pictures of the other nations that you’ve written insults on, fancy patterned scarves and fabric

Prussia

Like Alfred, Gilbert loves Christmas in a very childish way. He embraces that side of himself during the holidays and he'd love it if you joined him in that. He constantly insists on going out to see the lights, and he just can't get enough of Christmas movies. Even the bad ones (He's a Hallmark girlie.)

What he would get you: A vintage music box, hair dye, DVDs of your favourite movies (just to have,) stationery, random snacks he picked up from a gas station an hour ago, weirdly sentimental jewellery? Vintage journals, pictures of himself

What he would want: Coupons (???) goofy temporary tattoos, metal CDs, tea (he’s weirdly embarrassed about liking tea and doesn’t buy it for himself?) vintage maps that he can frame and hang up, probably like, WD40? DC comics, novelty trophies, Pokemon cards, video games

Canada

More than anything, Matthew loves winter. So, therefore, he loves Christmas! Seeing you smile when you open your gifts, he looks forward to it all season. It seems like the only time of year when everyone else is either as miserable or as happy as he is, so it's his favourite holiday.

Cuddling up in front of the fireplace with hot cocoa, watching some old Christmas movie, its all he wants.

What he would get you: Comfy hoodies, comfy slippers too, hot cocoa packs, big stuff like a new PC or fridge or smth- decorations for your room, face masks, fidget toys, novelty Canadian keychains, figures of your favourite characters, festive sweets (like candy-canes and stuff.)

What he would want: Anything with a maple leaf (yes, he wants MORE of that,) boring stuff like socks, wood-working tools or like a new snow shovel, fairy lights, DVDs (because he still uses them? Why.) a new phone case, gift cards (HES BORING,) pre-packaged crafts, lotion and cologne that smells like pine

merry christmas if you celebrate! this'll probably be the last full thing I post until 2024, so thanks to all you readers for sticking around this year (: you have no idea how much it means to me. i love yall. and to all a good night or whatever santa said

[fuckyeahfightlock]

Shared my holiday viewing with my little, today, and tried out this new animated Bri'ish fillum on Netflick called That Christmas.

Despite the fact it explicitly goes out of its way to mock Love, Actually, guess what structure this movie loosely follows? That's right, simultaneous but not fully intertwined stories of many characters in orbit around a central location (a Northern English village called Wellington-on-Sea). A bunch of parents go to a wedding and leave their bunch of kids alone together. The "new kid" in town is lonely because his single mum works like mad and his no-good father disappoints him by repeatedly not showing up. The schoolteacher is a strict battleaxe who's secretly lonely. Twin sisters Sam and Charlie are the "nice one" and the "naughty one"--and Santa knows it. The lighthouse keeper's elderly mum is dying, and a huge blizzard not only cancels the town's parade and sing-along, but also separates kids from parents on Christmas eve.

"Naughty" Charlie is one of these spirited, outgoing, pain-in-the-ass children who's always scheming and pranking and causing her straight-laced twin no end of worry. She reminded me of a child I know quite well, on the one hand, but also got me thinking about a couple of conversations I've had with my friend Toni, who is a social worker over there in England, about the English use of the term "naughty" as it applies to children. While in the US we tend to label bad behaviour as "naughty," English naughtiness describes the actual child. Toni often talks (affectionately) about "my naughty kiddos" when he refers to the children he works with; we would never say that here. I do think labeling behaviour is probably less damaging to peoples' perceptions of children; a child who exhibits occasional naughty behaviour is basically the same as every other child, while a "naughty child" is just inherently bad and slightly rotten. Anyway.

The other thing I was thinking about was: if you write (and I suppose, read) enough fic, eventually every piece of media you consume will in some way remind you of something from a fic. In this case, it was the lonely lighthouse keeper, and the lighthouse itself, which both have a hero moment near the end of the movie when Lighthouse Bill uses the light to help find a lost child in the snowy wilds at the edge of the village. Just in case you're new here, I once wrote a fic about a lonely lighthouse keeper, and later expanded it into an entire novel about a lonely lighthouse keeper and his suicidal boyfriend.

You can buy the book here. I reread it about six months ago; still good.

The movie is cute, tolerable even to me, an adult who generally does not enjoy kids' media. Some of you will care that Rhys Da rby's voice is in it. Can't find any gifs; it's brand new this week, I think.

[wakatshi]

WAKATOSHI being a gentleman is such a turn on.

on your very first date he got you flowers. your favorite flowers. he knew because maybe with a few weeks prior he asked you. he’s usually awful at being subtle, but the conversation you were having made his mission easier.

wakatoshi is the type of man who gets you amazing gifts, because what’s the point in buying you something just for the sake of buying it? it means nothing, his intentions and love are nowhere to be found and it’s not an actual display of love. he cares too much to show up with a meaningless gift.

he doesn’t get you random heart shaped boxes of chocolates, nor horrendous necklaces because they’re considered romantic and vague statements confuse him ‘women love flowers’ or ‘women love romantic men’ they’re simply not enough and he doesn’t find them helpful.

maybe you’re different. and what flowers? how romantic is he supposed to be? wouldn’t it be normal for him to find out first?

wakatoshi pulls the chair out and opens the door for you, he’s never late and he picks you up every single time, he loves to plan your dates and you never split the bill. (but spoiling him… buying him dinner... )

and it should be the bare minimum, but ushijima wakatoshi has such a way of doing things. he does it so flawlessly and goes the extra mile to make sure everything he does is perfect. he treats you like a princess. but i do think there’s a certain nervousness he can’t ignore, what if you dislike it? is he doing enough? everything he does is enough. and you’re actually enamored.

he’s learned it all from his parents and a few books. he and satori have talked about this on numerous occasions. he read and practiced nervously. he’s asked you so many questions and he keeps track of every answer. he’s so attentive and caring.

it’s new to him. it takes him a while to understand you, to know you and a huge part of his mind is a never ending thread of things you like and absolutely hate— colors, brands, places, dishes, he remembers even the smallest details.

likes, reblogs are feedback are always appreciated 🤍

a/n : this is soooo self indulgent. again. i hate men who get you basic gifts just for the sake of getting them. no, i don’t want a box of chocolates, i hate 90% of the flavors you got me. try better next time <3 i love meaningful gifts!!! also i wanna write more similar drabbles, just give me a few days.

[aurumalatus]

random yuuta headcanons that i need to write down before i sleep. takes place in a no curses college au. he is the best boy of all time.

- decently fast texter, but only for you. mostly because he knows when your classes end and such so he starts to expect the message before it comes.

- feels bad pirating movies/tv/etc. will pay for all the different streaming services and share them with you.

- has like one (1) emoji that he gets OBSESSED with for about a month (besides the basic 😭💀🙄 etc, ofc), then switches to the next. 🗿 and 😤 have both had a turn.

- likes collecting manga. just thinks it’s fun to see the shelf fill up plus he can sit and read through a whole series any time. doesn’t mind letting you read them and isn’t super strict about it, he thinks a bit of wear and tear adds character to the books.

- likes tea more than coffee. will buy sweet drinks whenever he goes to cafes or coffee shops because he knows you will want to taste.

- always loses his damn phone 😭 any time you guys are in the apartment alone together and you see him pacing around a bit awkwardly, you already know.

”yuuta, did you lose your phone again?”

”….no. why, have you seen it?”

- not into skipping class at all, unless it’s for a special occasion (date with you lol). he just gets too stressed thinking about the money he’s paying to attend school in the first place.

- doesn’t really like bowling/mini golf/etc because it makes him feel awkward when everyone watches him take his turn lol

- if you ever recommend him a show, he will live tweet his reactions to you no matter what. extra dramatic too because he knows you’ll think it’s funny. you know he’s starting a new episode when your phone starts going off like crazy.

- changes his alarm sound often because having the same one for a long time really bothers him lol. if he hears it in public he seizes up and everything

- good at most sports, and will play with you even if you’re not. has a special interest in skateboarding.

- the first time he said “i love you” was when he got his wisdom teeth taken out and you were in charge of bringing him home. he was loopy out of his goddamn mind and does not remember this occurring. please do not tell him, because he will die of embarrassment from how unromantic it was.

- cannot dance. he knows this, but will attempt to dance at parties to make you laugh. he doesn’t care lmao

- is actually really giggly. makes himself laugh all the time, then laughs harder at the sound of his own laugh. adorable.

- sometimes sits in on your big lectures with you when he has free time. doodles on the edge of your paper but doesn’t try to talk to you if you don’t talk to him first—doesn’t wanna be an annoying distraction to you when you’re focused on studying.

- leaves cringey comments under your instagram photos on purpose. makes you send him the photos first so he can think of a pun, and so he’ll be ready to be first comment once you post. it’s always very sweet though.

- is actually shy at heart but will take the heat for you when necessary. you could fart loud as hell in a silent room and he would claim it for you. true love.

- not particular about his clothes at all. likes oversized comfy things, no preference for brand. tends to wear more muted colors.

- worked at a mall arcade as a summer job in high school and got really fucking good at pacman. you still haven’t been able to beat him at it, but you win at pretty much everything else.

- still kisses you good morning and good night even when you’re arguing. still walks you home, still buys you food, still cares for you—he’ll NEVER use momentary anger as an excuse to neglect you

- calls you his everything/his angel and means it. i love him so much oh my god

[bianmao]

Catwoman during the Silver Age of comic books

Reading list + reviews

#1 Superman's Girl Friend Lois Lane (November 1958)

- issue 70: "The Catwoman's Black Magic!"

- issue 71: "Bad Luck for a Black Super-Cat!"

After Catwoman's success in Batman '66 she finally makes her official return to the comic books continuity... and with style, as she defeats and traps none other than Superman while meeting Lois Lane, one of her future best friends, for the first time.

We can consider this the first appearance of Silver Age (so Earth-One) Selina Kyle and the fact that we see her cat-costume slightly changed, with a bodysuit instead of a dress, foreshadows Selina's biggest trait during this era: Silver Age Selina will drastically change her catsuit a lot of times before coming back to her traditional garments during the following Bronze Age. Very interestingly, this is the first time Catwoman appears in a non Batman-centric comic book title or story giving her more space to show what her real "super power" is: her wit. With her brains she manages to fool and capture the Man of Steel himself, turning him into a cat and trapping him insite a kryptonyte cage... she does the same to Lois, turning her into a mice, after hypnotizing her to try and frame the Daily Planet's reporter as the real Catwoman.

Along with Selina's cleverness, sense of humor and love for big cats, another thing we see coming back in this issue is her wide range of cat-gadgets with a few new additions. A brand new location for her iconic lair, the Catacomb, appears too: a cat-shaped formation on a mountain, also reachable through the Kitty Car's autopilot feature that we see here for the first time. Knockout bombs, hypnotic jewels and legendary magic wands coming straight out of Homer's most famous poem, the Odyssey, aside, Selina shows us her catarangs for the first time, claiming them to be even more dangerous than their better known counterparts, batarangs.

Although Selina in the Silver Age has a much more villainous presence compared to any other version of her character (for instance, Selina today would never experiment on animals like she does in this issue) I like how empowering she is for women, even all these years ago, not only having male henchmen at her beck and call but also outsmarting and even using the likes of not only Superman but Penguin, who is best known for his cunning, too.

#2 Batman Kellogg's Special (1966): "The Catwoman's Catnapping Caper!"

This is one out of a series of six different short comic book one-shot stories that could be found inside Kellogg's Pop-Tarts as gifts after buying each box.

There's not much to say about the plot... it's basically a remake (rather a summary) of Batman issue 39, "A Christmas Tale!" but I'm happy they decided to remake an old issue in which Catwoman stopped one of her goons from killing Batman.

[- Action Comics (December 1966) issue 344: "Superman's Nightmare Dreams!"

- Detective Comics (June 1967) issue 364: "The Curious Case of the Crime-less Clues!"

Before moving on I wanted to at least mention a couple of Catwoman cameos between 1966 and 1967. In particular, the second one, although it's just a statue and not the real Catwoman, gives us a glimpse of how Catwoman's costume is going to evolve soon...]

[World's Finest Comics (September 1967) issue 169: "The Supergirl-Batgirl Plot - Clash of the Super-Teams!"

In this issue Supergirl and Batgirl, jealous of their "men"-counterparts' much bigger popularity, decide to team up to replace Superman and Batman as the greatest heroes.

Okay so... what about Catwoman?

Well, Supergirl and Batgirl planning something like this? It sure feels a bit off... that's because Supergirl is actually Black Flame in disguise while it was Catwoman who was hiding behind Batgirl's mask, betrayed by her beautiful green eyes.

The story gets even weirder when we realize that there was still more to unmask: in the end it was all a trick by Bat-Mite and Mr. Mxyzptlk but, at least, we got to see Selina's cute purple dress with her green cape one last time in a while.]

#3 - Detective Comics (November 1967) issue 369: "Batgirl Breaks Up the Dynamic Duo"

- Batman (December 1967) issue 197: "Catwoman Sets Her Claws for Batman!"

After briefly appearing in Detective Comics to give us a glimpse of her next "plan", Catwoman returns on stage in a new catsuit that strongly resembles the Batman '66 one... but green, and claims to have finally reformed, having now become a hero even Batman and Robin can count on. She calls this new version of herself "Now Look Catwoman" but is this big change sincere?

As I already mentioned, Silver Age Selina is the less heroic version of the character in history and in this story she is driven by possessiveness towards Batman and jealousy towards Batgirl but with this brand new suit she wanted to at least be seen as a hero just like Batman and a better partner for him than Batgirl. When she realizes that becoming a hero still isn't enough to have Batman fall in love with her she starts to become more and more threatening. Although this Catwoman is very far from the idea that we have of the character today I really love, once again, thinking about how special it is for a woman this early in comic book history to be so independent and free to be unconventionally self-centered and evil: in a moment in time in which most women in comics were written either as mere love interests, as sidekicks, as damsels in distress or as idealized heroic figures, someone like Catwoman still feels like a breath of fresh air.

#4 Batman: The Silver Age dailies and Sundays Vol. 1 (1966-1967)

This book collects short Batman stories published as comic strips in newspapers during the Silver Age and this story in particular was published from May to July in 1966. The plot feels just like watching a Batman '66 episode with the same characters, tropes and campiness.

It's still interesting because it gives us the name of her cat (Cleo) and the names of two of her henchmen (Tomcat and Fraidy) and, although she is a full-on villain in this one, threatening to kill Batman and Robin, we see once again how truly smart she is planning her evasion and her vendetta all by herself.

#5 Batman (May 1968) issue 201: "Batman's Gangland Guardians!"

Although Catwoman doesn't have a big presence in this issue I still couldn't wait to talk about this appearance because some modern writers nowadays *cough* Tom King *cough* are somehow trying to convince us Catwoman used to frequently team up with the rogue's gallery: after almost 30 years of Catwoman working alone, at times even opposing other rogues like Joker and Penguin, we see her teaming up with the all the other villains in Gotham... why? To save Batman's life.

A west coast crime syndicate is trying to settle down in Gotham City after killing the Batman and Penguin, afraid they might refuse to coexist and start going after Gotham's criminals next, calls every rogue in Gotham to oppose that and save Batman from death.

Very ironic how the first time Selina decides to team up with other villains is for a noble (well... the effects at least) cause.

#6 Batman (February 1969) issue 208: "The Women in Batman's Life!"

Mrs. Chilton, sef-proclaimed most important woman in Batman's life, reminisces of all the other women who impacted Batman's life: she mentions in chronological order Julie Madison, Linda Page, Vicki Vale, Kathy Kane, Kaye Daye and even Dick's aunt Harriet... then again Patricia Powell, Marcia Monroe, Poison Ivy and lastly Barbara Gordon. Of course Catwoman is in the list too, right after Julie, remembered in her first ever appearance in Batman issue 1, when she became a hero working undercover in Batman issue 62 and when she eventually came back being a villain in Detective Comics issue 203.

Today things are very different for most of the characters mentioned above and their relationship with Batman... but as for Selina? Batman's relationship with Catwoman is still the second oldest and the most relevant one to this day.

#7 Batman (March 1969) 210: "The Case of the Purr-loined Pearl!"

No doubt one of my favorite pre-Crisis Catwoman comic books, Batman issue 210 introduces Selina Kyle in a brand new catsuit (probably inspired by Harvey Comics' Black Cat) but still ambitious and smart as ever.

While Batman and Robin notice that Catwoman has been laying low ever since she came out of jail for over a month, wondering if they should stay vigilant or assuming she's going straight, Selina (with the help of her cat Slinky) invites a group of eight inmates at the Women's House of Detention outside Gotham City at her new "Selina Slenderizing Salon" to receive a V.I.P. service for free on the day of their release from prison. Big Barbara, Florid Flo, Light Laura, Leapin' Lena, Sultry Sarah, Timid Trixie and two more unnamed women that will later become Catwoman's Feline Furies deduce that the one who called them must have been Selina Kyle, the Catwoman, and after attacking her, eight versus one, to show her they don't need her as a leader, Selina quickly overpowers the whole group and begins training them to look and act just like her. Her motivation is payback, to take revenge on the reason they all went astray and ended up in jail: men.

Once again, this issue shows Batman going easy on Catwoman, no matter how evil her schemes might be and the Kitty Car also makes a quick appearance. We also see Catwoman using a pair of her iconic Cat-Goggles for the first time and learn her prison number: 102860.

#8 Adventure Comics (April 1972) issues 418 and 419: "Black Canary: Circle of Doom"

Black Canary finds a job at the Women's Resistance League and starts working for them as a judo teacher for their members. Why? Because they are "tired of being dominated by male strength". Once their training is completed, however, Dinah gets abducted by Bertha Kane, Marcy and the rest of the women-only League they belong to. While stunned, she hears about their secret "Leader" and about a certain plan to break "her" free. After reading the previous issue we analyzed: Batman #210, we can already have an idea on who this secret "Leader" might be...

That's right, their Leader is actually Catwoman, wearing her old purple suit while being transferred a maximum security prison escorted by two police officers (one of them named Hill). To Selina's displeasure Dinah successfully takes the whole group down so the infamous Catwoman can safely reach her destination and stay there... not for long!

#9 Wonder Woman (August 1972)

- Issue 201: "The Fist of Flame"

- Issue 202: "Fangs of Fire"

So early in comic book history and Catwoman has already appeared in a Superman-related series and now we see her making an appearance in Wonder Woman, meeting, fighting and working with Diana Prince, side by side.

While taking a flight to Tibet to find the "Fist of Flame": a mysterious ruby with magical powers she needs to find her ally Jonny Double, Diana sees a woman so pretty she is sure to have seen her somewhere else before... if only she knew that woman was none other than the infamous Catwoman, looking for the same gemstone! When they meet again in the presence of the ruby the thief successfully lays her hands on what she had been looking for, however, taken aback by its powerful hypnotic powers, Catwoman is knocked out and taken away with Diana by the cultists that were watching over it. To atone for the "sin" of simply touching the Fist of Flame Diana and Selina are given swords and are forced to fight to death suspended above a pit of flames. Although Selina always preferred fighting unarmed, or with just a whip at most, it's nice to see she has no problem wielding swords even this early in her character's history... also because this won't be the last time we see her being well-versed with swords! Also it's interesting how Selina, once again, says to be against killing when the circumstances allow it. Anyways, Diana finds a way to save both of them from that horrible fate and, out of gratitude, Selina decides to help Diana in her quest rather than keeping the gemstone for herself. No matter if during the most heroic or villainous moments in her life, Selina always feels in debt whenever anybody does something good for her. So, Catwoman tells the group she previously hired Johnny Double to find the Fist of Flame so she could steal it and, also, reveals to already have an idea about who the culprit might be: I-Ching's daughter, Lu Shan but before they can can do anything about it the magical gemstone teleports them to the world of Nehwon, where they get acquainted with Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser, the main characters of a series of stories written by Fritz Leiber. In particular, Selina seems to get along very well with the Grey Mouser and they team up as soon as the two groups reach an agreement as they realize that the Flame Fist has a counterpart: the Eye of the Ocean, a sapphire with similar magical powers in the hands of Lu Shan. They eventually manage to succeed and get back home with Jonny Double while trapping Lu Shan in Nehwon. Although Selina doesn't have much depth, I think this issue still does her justice in several ways.

#10 Batman: The Silver Age dailies and Sundays Vol. 3 (1969-1972)

This third volume collects all the Batman comic strips published in newspapers during the Silver Age between 1969 and 1972. In these strips, Catwoman appears roughly between February and September 1971, when #batman's rogue's gallery sets up crimes based on Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass. As for Selina, there is a callback to "Claws of the Catwoman!", a story from Batman issue 42 in which, for the first time, Selina was inspired by Alice's Cheshire Cat for one of her crimes and, just like in "Claws of the Catwoman!", Selina leaves Hecate behind with Batman to help him escape. Thanks to Catwoman's indirect help, Batman and Batgirl manage to save their own lives and overpower all the other villains... while letting Catwoman go. Robin, Batgirl and even Batman wonder if that was out of gratitude or out of the same thing that made Catwoman try to save his life.

#11 Batman (June 1974) issue 256: "Catwoman's Circus Caper!"

Robin hears of a murder case at the Tip-Top Circus, one very similar to the one that took his parents away from him. Worried, Batman joins the investigation, and, after beating her henchmen and noticing how her helpers' strength is declining with time, he soon realizes that the beautiful tiger-tamer, who started working at that very circus only one month earlier, Nelias, is actually Selina Kyle, the Catwoman. As she stops the albino tigers she caged Batman and Robin with from attacking them she reveals her schemes to the Caped Crusader: she is planning to "steal" those priceless tigers to free them from captivity in which they are forced to perform to amuse the circus' audience, something very true to her character, one of the most iconic traits that still define her to this day. One of Batman and Catwoman's iconic chases follows and I have to say I really love the writing here: by the way they speak to each other you could say they have known each other for a very long time and have shared some kind of intimacy. Since Catwoman appeared on the scene Robin started being suspicious of her but Batman knew she was innocent of murder all along... even if she indirectly caused it: the culprit was nonother than the victim's brother, jealous of Nelias' attentions towards the brother he took the life of, committing the oldest crime of them all, the crime of Cain.

#12 Batman (August 1975) issue 266: "The Curious Case of the Catwoman's Coincidences!"

In this issue Batman and Catwoman are caught up in a whirlwind of coincidences while playing their usual cat and (winged) mouse game.

Everything starts with a foreteller warning Bruce Wayne about the fortuitous events awaiting him in his short future while they are on board of a train which is also transporting a group of prisoners to the State Prison. A repented Selina Kyle, the Catwoman, is traveling among them but, unlike her usual self who would have had an escape plan ready, this time she is just hoping to square herself with the law by serving her sentence in prison... but everything happening after said train accidentally derails shows how something in the Universe thought it wasn't time for the Catwoman to exit the scene just yet: one of her former criminal accomplices, Rudy Stern helpe Selina to escape from the trainwreck, asking her to come back leading the criminal underworld as the Catwoman. As Rudy tries to kiss her during the escape, Selina pulls out her claws once again to remind him and us readers of who she really is, agreeing to wear back her Catwoman costume and guide them just like the old times. On the Bruce front I think it's mandatory to mention how, right after the accident, changing into Batman, he lets Selina escape because he acknowledges how she is no killer, contrary to the other criminals present on the train with her.

A little more than 20 issues prior to this one we saw the first appearance of the legendary Matches Malone (Batman issue 242) but we all know that was hardly the only non-Batman mask Bruce has ever worn. For instance, in this issue, Bruce crossdresses as a wealthy texan woman, Mrs. Bertha Carrington-Bridgewater, right after hearing about a wave of jewel robberies to lure the culprits into a trap by showing off her jewels at the Gotham Plaza Hotel. The plan succeds as two of the crooks working under the Catwoman's lead, Weasel and Jeremiah Jimson, overhear and report the news to their leader who then sends her trained (and well-known) cat Hecate, that we find out being a siamese cat in this very issue.

So, when Batman sees Hecate carrying jewels and approaching a van, knowing the cat must have been trained to always come back to her mistress, he decides to follow said van which leads the Caped Crusader to the Catwoman's new lair, although she manages to escape once again thanks to her henchmen and a pair of ocelots attacking him, but it's still Hecate who inadvertently causes her mistress' capture.

This is also the first time Batman faces Catwoman alone, without Robin's help!

#13 The Joker (October 1976) issue 9: "The Cat and the Clown"

Unknowingly, the Catwoman and the Joker set their eyes on the same targets at the same time: Benny Springer, an actor who plays a clown in his last movie produced at Mammoth Motion Picture Studios, and his cat and co-star Hiawatha, the "Million Dollar Kitty". Joker enters the scene impersonating the actor but Catwoman beats him to the punch, pretending to be a script-girl interested in the still unreleased "The Cat and the Clown" movie, stunning him and kidnapping both actors. This makes Joker add Catwoman to his list of targets, so he finds, kidnaps and tortures one of her goons, Mouth Madigan, to get information about Catwoman's location. Meanwhile, at Catwoman's secret lair, despite Spots the leopard's assistance, Benny Springer manages to escape, although leaving his friend Hiawatha behind. Unexpectedly, Batman makes an appearance too, trying to save the remaining hostage, but, as always, he ends up sharing a kiss with Catwoman... unfortunately that wasn't really Batman but Joker in disguise. Things get even more complicated as a second Joker appears. The two Jokers begin to fight to prove who the real one is until Catwoman gets the idea to use Hiawatha to identify his owner, planning to stun who she believes being Benny Springer with a laser beam shoot from her Cat's-Paw. Unfortunately the actor was always a step ahead of everyone, calling the police and bringing the two criminals to justice. I think it's worth noticing how it's implied that while Joker is taken to the Arkham Hospital, Catwoman is sent to an ordinary jail.

#14 Batman Family (December 1976) issue 8: "The Copycatgirl Capers!"

A new cat steps out into the spotlight, calling herself Catgirl, but cats are territorial creatures and Catwoman knows well there's not enough room for two criminals using cats as the motif for their larcenies. It is mainly Robin who will take care of Catgirl while Catwoman is simply trying not to let the young criminal steal her heist away. Little she knows that Batman is closer than she thinks, undercover as one of her henchmen, waiting for the right moment to stop her, a moment that later comes at the Kit-Kat Klub, an iconic location in Catwoman comic book history that first appears in "The Case of the Purr-loined Pearl!" story in Batman (1940) issue 210 (although it was called the "Kitty Kat Klub" back there), soon after Robin successfully unmasks Catgirl finding out that she was Joker's daughter, Duela Dent, all along.

Selina doesn't have a lot of screentime in this story but this won't be the last time we see her being annoyed whenever a copycat enters the scene.

#15 The Brave and the Bold (December 1976) issue 131: "Batman and Wonder Woman: Take 7 Steps to... Wipe-Out!"

In this issue the Brave and the Bold are Batman and Wonder Woman, teaming up to stop Catwoman from smuggling the blueprint of the most complicated cryptographic machine ever created (known as "Peter Rabbit") split in seven parts, out of the United States. However Catwoman proves herself to be extremely resourceful, constantly outsmarting the heroes by anticipating each and every one of their moves, we even see her snatch Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth right from her hands, repeatedly fool the heroic duo into believing where to find one of the blueprint's pieces and placing a bomb in its place, fake her own death in order to make her plan go smoothly and a lot more. In the end, even if Batman and Wonder Woman timely manage to understand the Catwoman's plot, retrieving the last piece of the blueprint, Catwoman still managed to slip once again from Batman's fingers. In this story Catwoman placed her hideout in the "Felidae Foundation" private building, "felidae" being the scientific family name of all felines, and, as her usual, she is once again helped by big cats in her heist: two jaguars, one of them melanistic, and a tiger. The problem here is she uses her big cats to kill, something she never did before. This caused a non insignificant backlash on the readers' side: Catwoman fans flooded The Brave and the Bold's mailbox with complaints about not only her odd characterization, but also the choice to have her wear again the blue suit outfit we see here for the last time. The fans were so loud and the inconsitency was so big that they thought it was necessary to design a specific Earth to place this issue's universe on: Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover Index calls it Earth B.

Selina's characterization wasn't the only poorly written element in this story though. Did you spot that "Selena", spelled with an "e"? Ugh...

☆ - Batman with Robin the Boy Wonder (September 1968)

- The New Adventures of Batman (February 1977)

In the meantime an animated Catwoman was appearing on TV, even after Batman '66 was concluded, in a series known as The Batman/Superman Hour. Jane Webb was Catwoman's first voice actress in history, voicing her in Batman with Robin the Boy Wonder, while Melendy Britt voiced her in The New Adventures of Batman.

Catwoman appeared in the following episodes:

BATMAN WITH ROBIN THE BOY WONDER:

- Episode 4: "The Nine Lives of Batman"

- Episode 5: "Bubi, Bubi, Who's Got the Ruby?"

- Episode 7: "Partners in Peril"

- Episode 10: "A Game of Cat and Mouse"

- Episode 11: "Will the Real Robin Please Stand Up"

- Episode 12: "Simon the Pieman"

- Episode 13: "From Catwoman with Love"

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF BATMAN:

- Episode 3: "Trouble Identity"

- Episode 12: "Curses! Oiled Again!"

- Episode 14: "Have An Evil Day (Part 1)"

- Episode 15: "Have An Evil Day (Part 2)"

#16 Batman (September 1977) issue 291: "The Testimony of the Catwoman!" (part one of the "Where Were You on the Night Batman Was Killed?" storyline: Batman (1940) issues 291, 292, 293 and 294)

Batman is missing and it looks like he's dead.

The news crosses every corner of the american criminal underworld but how exactly that happened or who killed him still isn't clear and a thousand of contradictory rumors and stories are floating around: everyone claims they were the one who killed the Batman. To find out what really happened, the biggest names in crime meet up in Gotham, at the estate of colonel Jake Van Cleeve, also known as "The Claw", a Gotham mobster, to hold a trial. Ra's al Ghul is the judge while the prosecutor is, of course, Harvey Dent, the infamous Two Face. The Riddler, Lex Luthor and the Joker all claim they were responsible for Batman's death but the Catwoman is the first one who testifies in court in widow's weeds, claiming to know how things really went down and accusing herself of having been the cause of Batman's demise.

Now, of course Batman isn't dead and they are all lying about it, so I'm not really sure about how much of Catwoman's testimony is real but she says she recently assumed the identity of Madame Claudine, a celebrated couturière who just moved to Gotham City. She made it look like it was a way to start anew after reforming, leaving her Catwoman persona behind, but it was actually all part of a heist, then disrupted by the Batman. According to what Catwoman testifies, Batman died by drowning when the Batmobile and Catwoman's stolen car both ended up in a river down a gorge and, to save herself, her cats, Hecate and Bongo, her baby jaguar, and her loot, she keeps Batman from holding onto the floating wooden cage that was carrying them... except the brazilian pepper wood the cage was made of couldn't have floated. This inconsistency is what makes Two Face prove that Catwoman is not guilty.

I find it very funny how no villain actually believed Catwoman could have been the culprit ever since she was called to testify because, other than being in love with him, everyone knows she never kills. Even Two Face remarks that in the end (also, by the way, ⚠️SPOILER⚠️ Two Face here is actually Batman in disguise). In this issue we also learn the name of another one of her crooks: Cody, and we see Selina's car too: an ordinary purple car and not the Kitty Car, for the first time.

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

Graveyard Siblings (4)

I am sorry for not posting in a while. School is a total bitch. Here is part 4 of a fic that is not a fic.

[Masterlist]

(Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3)

-------

Tall Marinette.(I admit I might be projecting a little here.)

One day, she took out something from someplace high and the whole family realized that ‘holy shit when did you get so tall?’

Bonus if Jason comes back from a long mission and had a wtf moment because she was wearing 6-inch-heels and met his eyes with them on.

“Pixie?!”

------

You know how Bruce has the identity of Matches Malone to infiltrate the Gotham Underground.

While Jason does the drug deals more street crime stuff, Maria uses an excuse of being the representative for Red Hood excuse to mingle with the rich people who does crime on the side (Penguin), she uses it to go to black market auctions and buy some of the lost miraculouses which got into the hands of black market dealers.

Jason knows about it and acts as her ‘bodyguard’ anytime he can or sends one of his henchmen to be one with a death threat if she gets a single scratch on her.

Bruce is unaware of this. Or is he?

------

Mari helps with running WE since she is a little less busy with the vigilante side of things.

It started with Tim panicking about deadlines and Mari offering to help, to Bruce and Tim bullying the board to have her as co-CEO.

She has to be that and head of Afterlife. So she is very busy. Doesn’t know about what comes next….

------

Somehow the class comes to Gotham for a trip. It has been 3 years since her death.

Mari has changed her appearance since the day she left Paris. She has highlights in her hair after a ‘sibling bonding day’ with Jason. Her hair is kept short for convenience and not in pigtails. Along with her tall height and more confident aura, she is almost unrecognizable.

She rides a motorcycle too.

The class waits in the lobby for the tour and in walks this badass woman with aviator sunglasses, leather jacket and designer clothes which was all MT brand, making a lot of people swoon.

She takes off her glasses and walks past the class. Checking stuff on her phone and sipping coffee in her other hand.

She seems familiar but they couldn’t figure out why. (All except Chloe, Alix and Felix who are snickering in the background.)

Lila sees her and comments on how she must be a criminal with the way she dresses. (Lila internally freaks out because were her eyes messing with her? Because she looked a little like Marinette. Also jealous of the new arrival for stealing all the attention.) Alya takes the bait and calls security to ‘arrest’ her.

They just laugh. The class doesn’t understand, speaking in confused French.

-------------

“I am Maria Todd-Wayne, also known as designer MT. CEO of Afterlife and co-CEO of the very company you are in. I am allowed in here. Don’t judge a book by its cover.” she said in perfect French.

“But Lila told us you can’t speak French.”

“Who?”

“Lila Rossi, your friend. She told us that you and MT were dating.”

“Me dating myself. Okay I love myself because self-love is a thing but that is a whole other level. MT are my initials. Anyone who has a brain could have figured that out or at the very least do a Google search. I am not sure where your friend got that notion.”

“Hey, Bean, come on. We have a long day ahead of us.” Tim reminded her.

“Goodbye but cease the rumours or you would be escorted off the premises.”

As they rode up the elevator, “Tim, why are they here?”

“They are the lucky winners of the Wayne Enterprise Young Prodigies Contest. Why, Maria?”

“Lucky, huh.” She muttered under her breath. She might as well tell him. They are the Bats and they will find out anyway. “They are from my old class, the one you know…”

“Oh. Want me to send them back? I can do that if they are making you uncomfortable.”

“Nah. Too much to deal with. And it is unfair to send them back over a petty grudge. Besides, I could have some fun.”

“Anything that Bruce and I should be worried about?”

“I swear no killing. Just because Jason came back from the dead, hell-bent on killing. Doesn’t mean I am too.”

“Cool, just don’t do any property damage or traumatize our employees.”

“I might need you to erase some footage later and tell Bruce about this.”

“Some brownies, my favourite coffee cake, the ‘special’ brew and you have yourself a deal.”

-----

So basically she just showed up around where the class was ‘by coincidence’.

Talk to a few people and take them out of earshot of the rest of the class.

End the conversation by saying a few things only they and her would know. Insides jokes and secrets. (I pick her old childhood friends like, Nino, Kim and maybe Sabrina)

Uses Trixx to turn into a walking dead version of her 15-year old self and disappears as they freak out about how she knew that secret/story.

Freaks them out further by appearing again in front of the whole class and pretending not to know their previous conversation.

Mari manages to get Lila alone.

I should also say that Lila thought that her curse was making her see MT as Marinette.

It terrifies Lila when she finds out that MT is actually Marinette, not dead but alive after all this time and apparently living the high life she wanted. This fact made the Italian swell up with jealousy.

“I hope you are not lying about me again, Lila Rossi. Like you always do.”

“What do you want with me? I swear I didn’t say anything else about you.”

“Aw, Lila. Don’t recognize me?”

Maria flickers and Ladybug is in her place and later, the Marinette that appeared in her bedroom and back to normal.

“You! How? Why are you here? Why can’t you leave me alone?”

“Why not? I mean you did take away nearly all my friends, my parents and made my life a living hell. If you think about it, I am just repaying you the same favor. How are the others? Treating you well?”

“What did you do to me, you bitch?”

“I just put a curse on you. The ghosts of your past will haunt you until you stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop Lying, Liar. They all feed and grow in power from your lies. I wonder what would happen in a few years if you kept this up.”

“You think you can get away with this. This is war and I have already beaten you once.”

“Oh Rossi. This isn’t a war. It’s a death sentence.” With that she disappears.

Lila tries to tell her class that MT is actually Marinette. She is met with crazy looks. Some of them look like they want to believe her but don't because they don’t want to look crazy too.

Oh. Adrien wasn’t on the trip because his mother didn’t want him to go to the crime capital of America although the crime rate has gone down a little due to Hellbat curing some of the city’s bad energy..

Right after Lila told the class about MT, Scarecrow came to steal some Wayne tech and the class got caught in the crossfire. So later, it was brushed off as Lila seeing things due to the fear toxins.

-----

Joker made the mistake of kidnapping her. Once was enough to never try that again.

(It involved the use of nearly all of the Miraculouses, old and new. He was thoroughly humiliated at the end of it and his picture by the time Hellbat was done with him was on the Batfam’s Christmas Card. Like I said she doesn’t kill but making them beg for death was okay.)

It coincided with Jason’s Birthday and the video of the incident was ‘the best birthday present ever.’ The uncensored version was watched at the next undead siblings bonding day. Damian included.

After hearing a few rumours about what happened, most criminals were glad for Hellbat’s rare appearances. (which happens once a month and during really busy time of the year)

There was a time where Penguin was carrying out one of their plans and when Hellbat showed up, all of their thugs surrendered instantly. (No Batman did not pout at the fact that this French girl was more imitating than him.)

Scarecrow used his newest batch of fear toxin on her during the first year after she died.

He was astounded to see her still standing and she later proceeded to beat the crap out of him while being under the toxin’s influences.

He has tried to stay out of her way since then.

She saw Scarecrow as Hawkmoth and said a lot of things in French which scared everyone because she said it with so much hate, anger and in a very menacing tone that everyone is like ‘I am not touching this.’

It took Red Hood and Nightwing to restrain her from further beating Scarecrow up.

He was one of the people who sympathised with the Joker after the Incident.

The next was Riddler being so arrogant in his plans and managed to get Hellbat and Spoiler into a death trap.

“You know I have a few regrets in life. And my final one is that I got captured and am now going to get killed by a walking fashion disaster.”

“Hey! I made this myself. I will have, you know.”

“You have a brilliant mind but no sense of fashion at all. When I get out of here, I am going to burn that thing with you in it, for your crimes against fashion.”

“What is wrong with it?”

Cue a lot of roasting of Riddler’s costume and Spoiler adding more fuel to the fire.

They manage to escape while Riddler is crying on the floor, having an existential crisis.

The thing was no one knows why Riddler was silent the entire week after encountering Hellbat and crying when anyone mentions it.

They now think Hellbat is the scariest one in the Batfamily, second to Batman and tied with Black Bat/Orphan.

The few who find out what really happened in the warehouse that night. Blackmail material on the Riddler.

Three ( four if you count Penguin) of Gotham’s biggest villains of the Rogues Gallery scared of Bats’ newest addition. Hellbat was not someone they wanted to mess with.

---------

Magic crisis stuff. Like a world ending event thing. Dr. Fate says they need the Miraculous jewels but the last mention of them had been in Paris a few years ago and had vanished since then.

Costantine looked at Batman. “You know who you have to call.”

Batman calls Hellbat. Who hasn’t been introduced yet to the JL.

“Ah. Bats. Not that I question your authority or anything but how can your newest ‘ward’ help us?”

She takes off her helmet and reveals her face and more importantly, her earrings.

Tikki comes out of her hiding place.

“I am the current Guardian of the Miracle Box and wielder of the Ladybug miraculous during Hawkmoth’s reign in Paris a few years ago. Any other Questions?”

“Oh great Guardian. Tikki. It is an honour to meet you.”-Wonder Woman, who else.

“You too, Princess Diana. Pass on my regards to your mother.”-Tikki

A huge face-off and the big evil is defeated.

WW asks abt HM and gives a horrified face at the end of her story. Nearly everyone who eavesdropped on the conversation was.

"Forgive me, Guardian for not aiding you in your hour of need.”

“It’s okay. I understand that there are other crises, world-ending ones that JL have to take care of. I am better now. Mostly.”

“I doubt it with those revenge schemes I found lying around. But she is getting there with her therapist.”-Batman

“I hate you, Dad.”

“Did you just call him Dad?”

“No….”

“Do you see me as a father figure?”

“I see you as a nuisance with how nosy you are with my personal business. So you are more of a bother figure.”

“I see you as part of the family too, Daughter.” (Got that reference anyone?)

“Jason was the one who adopted me.”

“Legally you are adopted by me.”

Maria with Pikachu surprised face because nobody told her that. “My life is a lie.”

-------

(Part 5)

[lady-literature]

Accidental Crime Boss Marinette

Okay so,, I have this AU in my head, right? (not surprised) and I’m lacking any real direction for it (still not surprised) but it basically goes like this:

Marinette moves to Gotham.

She’s drawn there for whatever reason and the kwami are saying something about balance and being a Guardian and her sacred duty and something but Marinette isn’t really listening. She’s too busy trying to find a shop front where she can open a bakery without having to worry about getting mugged every time she steps outside.

Chloé comes with her, obviously, because they’re friends and Chloé has a business degree she puts to good use actually running Mari’s bakery and online boutique while Mari gets to bake and fuck around basically. Adrien, Luka and Kagami are not there, but that’s mostly because they travel too much to settle down and keeping an empty apartment in Gotham is just asking for trouble.

Kagami is a world-renowned fencer and Luka travels the world for his music company. Not touring, but soaking up cultures and ways of life so he can make soundtracks to movies and tv shows. Providing the background and life to a film is more his style than touring the world ala his father, Jagged Stone.

Adrien is having the time of his life being Kagami’s trophy husband. He has no pressing responsibilities he doesn’t take on for himself and he gets to fuck with the world’s elite with little to no consequences. He spends most of his days donating far too much money to charities and orphanages and then causing minor scandals that land him on the cover of magazines.

He has much the same kind of ‘dumbass with a heart of gold’ persona to the media as Bruce Wayne does, only without the playboy bits.

(There is a wall in the back of the bakery, where Chloé and Mari carefully cut out and frame every headline and ridiculous picture Adrien has. He is very much delighted when he learns about his ‘wall of fame’.)

Anyway, Marinette finds herself with a bakery not overly far from crime alley, much to Chloé’s chagrin.

(“What do you mean it ‘just felt right’?! I swear to kwami, DC, you’re going to get us robbed and sold into slavery.”)

They do not get sold into salvery.

In fact, despite their less than stellar choice of locale, they do pretty well for themselves. The only problems they have (according to Chloé) is the army of children Marinette accidentally attracted.

When asked, Marinette tells everyone that it was an accident. Meanwhile, Chloé, standing behind her, will shake her head and insist there was literally never any other option for them the moment that first kid came in looking to nab some cash and a few pastries.

Mari lives by the phrases, ‘kindness breeds more kindness’ and ‘do unto others’ and all that other nice person shit. Chloé just lets Mari pseudo-adopt her strays and makes sure that they don’t steal anything too important in the time it takes her to gain their loyalty.

The kwami stay staunchly out of any arguments involving the kids (and eventually the homeless all along their street and every working girl in a five-block radius). They do so with a special brand of amusement that never means good things for either of them. (After all, the last time the kwami looked that amused, they moved to Gotham.)

The first kid is named Serrure, as Marinette comes to learn over the next month after he returns again and again, getting closer and closer like a feral cat. Other kids come during that time, all of them too small and too thin and too guarded for Mari's tastes. She wants to wrap them all up and tuck them into bed but she can’t. She has to be patient, has to be gentle. These kids are just as likely to bite her hand as they are to accept help.

Serrure becomes an almost permanent fixture at the bakery after that first month. Mari’s not quite sure what she did to get through to him, but she did, she supposes. He can’t be much older than eleven and looks nine, but after getting settled, she and Chloé discover this little slip of a boy is just as mischievous as Trixx and has all the dramatics of their favorite black cat.

The kwami, when talking about him, only refer to Serrure as Loki, even after Marinette scolds them for it. She eventually gives up trying to correct them, it’s not like Serrure talks to them anyway(yet)((that she knows of)).

There’s an apartment above the bakery, which is where Chloé and Mari and all her strays that grow to trust her enough live. It’s three bedrooms, and at first, Mari just buys as many bunk beds as she can fit into the spare room and calls it a day. The kids feel safe in her home, which isn’t too surprising. Everyone thinks the bakery feels safe, feels like home or comfort or whatever else eases their minds.

And Marinette should hopes so. She certainly put enough time and effort and magic and energy into the wards around this place for that to happen. To protect her and the children and all her strays that no one else will help.

But, she eventually amasses too many kids to fit into the one room. Chloé throws a fit about having to share with Mari again—“I had enough of that in university thank you very much”—but she relinquishes easily enough.

Mari buys more bunk beds, and Serrure has taken to sneaking into her room to curl up in her bed anyway, and sometimes the smaller kids who have nightmares will come in and pile on as well.

(There are only a few that Chloé will allow to do the same with her. It is considered a high honor and breeds a playful kind of jealousy that Chloé finds amusing. Mari scolds her for pitting the kids against each other.)

That only lasts them another two months.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Chloé tells her one day before the kids wake up. Mari is at the stove, cooking and baking for a small army while Chloé balances the books. “There’s not enough room for us all, DC, and the only reason someone hasn’t come barrelling down on us about the abundance of children is by the grace of your absurd amount of luck.”

“Well I can’t just kick them out, Queenie! What do you want from me?”

“Either we need to buy more real estate in this city—which I’d rather not do—or you open up the grimoire and start building pocket dimensions. I know you can. I’ve read the chapter.”

Marinette looks at her. “That is such a bad idea.”

They do the idea.

And then Mari adds about a thousand more wards to the bakery, carved into the wood and counter and anything that’s a permanent fixture. Doorways become particularly ward heavy, what with them being the entrances and exits to the hidden realms and children’s’ rooms.

The apartment above the bakery isn’t quite infinite but it gets pretty damn close some days.

This also means, of course, that all the kids definitely know about magic now. Some of them—Serrure—have known about it for a while she knows, but it’s different now. The kwami followed her around most of the time and she doesn’t keep them trapped in the Miracle Box like Fu did, but now that the kids know, they don’t bother staying hidden.

The children, at least, love them and the kwami adore them with all the ferocity a god can give. After Chloé gets over her ‘ew children’ phase, she throws herself into their education (on top of actually running the businesses Mari keeps, mind you). She has the help of the kwami, who act as personal tutors to the children, and it’s not long before the kids start to joke about her being the Principal.

(Some tried to call her Warden, but that joke didn’t last long.)

Marinette has also been telling the kids bedtime stories ever since this started. Old stories of the Guardian and Chosens who fought back the darkness, she shares all she knows of the Orders history with these kids and it’s not until Wayzz points it out to her does she realize what she’s doing.

“Ladybugs are known for renewal. It is no surprise that you are rebuilding what was lost.”

Rebuilding the Order using children was certainly not her intention but, well. She supposes there’s no place safer for her kids than what is shaping up to be the new Miracle Temple. It’s the only haven where they can learn to harness their Gifts and powers, it’s the only place where they can be surrounded by others like them without being thrust into superhero-dom.

Context: about a month into this whole circus, Marinette had realized there was a significant—almost all of them really—amount of metas and Gifted in her little hoard of strays. Which is… odd. Especially with how few metas there are in Gotham.

She had asked the kwami about it, and they have that amused look again. “You are their guardian.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re their guardian. True, you are the Guardian of us, of the ancient ways, but you are a guardian at your soul too. You protect what is yours, and they are yours whether you realise it or not. The children can sense that, so they flock to you.”

And, huh. She supposes that makes sense but that’s also really kind of strange and weird and she doesn't want to think about that anymore actually.

So things are… fine, Marinette supposes. The bakery is doing well, and she has about two dozen-plus helpers running around underfoot to help tend to the customers or run to the store or help in the back with the baking. And every kid of hers has new clothes, their street things thrown out for being too ragged and replaced with something fresh made by Marinette’s own hands.

She embroiders little fairy wings into the clothes normally, because that’s what her cloaked wards look like most times and the kids like it and its technically the logo for the bakery and there’s a million reasons she does it.

It is, perhaps, her first mistake.

(“It was certainly not your first,” Chloé will snark one dayin the future.)

Because now Marinette has an army of magical children learning to wield their powers and not fear them and they’re all wearing what can be considered her insignia and uh oh, it looks a lot like Mari is some sort of up and coming mob boss who uses kids and prostitutes and the homeless as runners. People on the street start calling her the Pixie, start referring to Chloé—her second in all things just as Chat had been her equal—as Wasp, as Yellowjacket, as the Unseelie.

(They cannot seem to pick a name for her, but Pixie is all but engraved in stone. Mari is not sure who coined it, and she doesn't think she wants to know.)

The first time the whole situation is brought to her attention, she punches the idiot who dared even imply such a thing so hard she knocks him out.

Because look. The kids are hers right? And she watches out for the people near her, makes sure the working girls are treated as well as they can be and offers the homeless extra food and a dry place to wait out the storm. She offers her hand and gives them all a place to rest, to eat, to exist without expectations or consequences.

She does that because she’s kind, because it hurts her to see people in need, to see them suffer, not because she’s hoping to gain something from it.

The fact that most of them repay her in gossip or information or bend her ear about the newest goings on in the corrupt elite or filthy underworld is strange, yes, but it’s nice to know what’s going on in the city, she supposes. And one time, Kathy, who works on the corner of Brookes and Gilmore, warned her of a drug raid that saved her an unnecessary trip to the police station so it’s not like it doesn't have it’s uses.

But mostly, Mari doesn't really think about all the information that’s unintentionally or otherwise passed onto her. She remembers it all, because it’s rude not to listen when people talk to her, but nothing comes of normally.

Not until Serrure—now twelve and well versed in the magic of illusions and glamors and knows almost as much about this city as her or the Bats—bursts into the bakery one day and grabs Mari away from the front counter right in the middle of a customer ordering. She should, perhaps, be a little angry at that but Tony, one of the older boys and just shy of sixteen, steps into her place almost immediately, so.

And then Serrure speaks and everything is pushed aside in favour of the next words to fall from his lips.

“Someone took Sophie,” he says and she nearly sees red.

After Serrure, Sophie has been here the longest. She is the youngest of them all, only seven, but oh so clever and kind and while she looks nothing like her, everyone calls her Mini-Mari. If Serrure is her beloved first son, Sophie is her treasured daughter.

She’s out the door in the next moment, storming her way to their base. She has Sophie and a handful of extra kids back by sunset, a little frightened, but no worse for wear. She doesn’t make a big deal out of it, besides making sure that the idiots who dared cross her never do so again, but word gets out.

Soon, her kids and teens and adults begin giving her more than just information, they begin giving her problems. Ones she’s meant to fix because she’s Pixie. She’s safety, she’s protection, she’s the one the people start to turn to for help.

And enter stage left, one Jason Todd who’s all snark and charm and smiles wrapped up in a nice leather bow and tall enough that Mari likely could climb him like a tree. If that was something she wanted, she guesses.

(She wants. She just won’t admit.)

He becomes a regular at the bakery and befriends most of her kids.

Mari’s wary when he first takes an interest in them. They’ve been hurt and a lot of them are still adjusting to being safe and it doesn't matter that this man is hot enough to burn, if he steps even a toe out of line with her kids she’ll make him wish he was never even born.

But, she stops worrying eventually. The kwami like him well enough, but seem to think something’s odd about him—but its Gotham, who isn’t strange?—and both Serrure and Sophie take to him like ducks to water and they’re both good judges of character.

There’s a certain intuition they both have that reminds Marinette just a bit too much about herself and pure magic. Not for the first time does she wonder if they got such strong magic from their parents or if it cropped up in them randomly, fostered by fortune and chance and the magic that’s so deeply seeped into the bones of her bakery it’ll be here long after she’s gone.

And, okay, so she was a little right to be wary because Jason was mostly there to investigate her. Far too many people respect her and are loyal to her and she has a veritable orphanage in her pocket and also Harley and Ivy like her and it just- it doesn’t look good right?

But Jason’s a good detective and it doesn't take him long at all to see that Mari is just as sweet and kind and loving as she appears to be. Not long after that, Red Hood declares Pixie and all of hers, under his protection. She, of course, is more than capable of taking care of her and hers, and the underworld knows this, has seen it, but he does it anyway.

The news, of course, gets back to Mari and she is… confused. Why would the Red Hood do something like that? She’s heard talk of him being sweet on kids, but to claim her? They’ve never even met.

Bonus points for Jason being there when she’s told about it. He kind of raises his eyebrow at her because, huh, that was fast, and then spends the next few minutes talking up the Red Hood to her much to her utter bafflement.

He actually keeps doing that too, talking up the Red Hood. Mari thinks he has a crush on the man for the longest time because of it. Until he reveals he is Red Hood, then she just wants to punch his stupidly handsome face for being such an idiot.

Shit happens from there and things go down and the two spend a couple of months dancing around each other and intentionally and unintentionally ruling the criminal underworld and at one point Marinette definitely punches Bruce and Batman in the face—separately, much to Jason’s unending joy—and she also definitely adopts Duke/Signal as well because that poor boy needs to know he’s not alone.

And it’s just them being domestic and badass and lowkey raising an army of children and falling in love while the kwami and the kids and Chloé are all in the background just yelling at them to get together already!

Which, they do. Eventually. After all the secrets come out and Jason knows about the magic and Order and meets Mari’s other friends, ie Kagami, Luka and Adrien who are all intimidating for wildly different reasons. And Mari finds out that Jason died and came back (which earns him the nickname firebird btw) and that he was a Robin once upon a time but is now Red Hood and oh my kwami it all makes sense now.

Jason confesses like three times via classic Victorian romance novel quotes because he’s a fucking literature nerd but it’s not until he basically spells it out for Mari does she really understand. it’s all very sweet and heartwarming and then the pair duck into one of the empty pocket dimensions they have lying around and aren’t seen for three days.

(No one really goes to look for them tbh)

Chloé definitely teases them about early honeymoons and things but besides the two being even more ridiculously lovey-dovey than usual, life goes back to normal. Or as normal as it gets for them. 

And they all live happily ever after the end.

[kikyan]

Yandere Kakashi Hatake Headcanons

These are my interpretations of his persona and none of these are 100% accurate. I don't condone any of these actions in real life and all of this is purely fictional.

Second Naruto ask, hell yeah. Kakashi was a character who a lot of people would simp over, except me because I decided that the redhead with parental issues and a long brown-haired man who ranted about fate and destiny was it. However, I see the appeal ngl so here we go with some basic headcanons on what Yandere I see him as. Overprotective, obsessive, manipulative, and possessive. 

A little bit of background so spoilers you can say. His dad abandoned the mission to save his comrades in the third ninja war (I think?) and it resulted in him being shunned and his honor was sullied. His father killed himself and it leads Kakashi to believe that the mission is a number one priority in the world. Well, Obito shows up and fucks all that up when Rin gets kidnapped and he wants to save her. He understands the true meaning of a comrade and suddenly, his friend died like -_-. 

Then he is forced to kill his best friend, the girl that his best friend loved, and his friend? Man can’t catch a break. Then his sensei dies as well? When he encounters Sasuke, it hurts a lot when he was threatened by Sasuke and he comments, “How about I kill anyone you’ve ever cared about.” Kakashi responding with “That’s impossible, they’re already dead.” Like that shit HURT. IT HURT A LOT MAN. This is why in the event that he ever does fancy anyone he would always look after them. 

Overprotective. This man lost all the people in his life that he has ever cared about, team 7 being his new admiration because they grew up with him and he was the parent that they didn’t have. If he ever had an S/O he would honestly love and cherish them to bits. They aren’t in a time of war anymore but anyone can die in a mission. Doesn’t matter if his S/O is a shinobi or a civilian, they are guaranteed protection 24/7 by yours truly. It could be keeping people off their back, dealing with anyone who has wronged them, small conversation to get any details, etc. 

Obsessive. He isn’t the extreme one in a sense where they need to know everything, but rather observant. He is quite observant in the sense that he stalks them on the lowkey. When his S/O is near, has his ‘book’ in his hand and pretends to read or is simply ‘on a walk’. It’s normal and no one would think twice,  but in reality he is doing it to see their life and make sure nothing happens. It’s the little things that really make it up, he would be in their home and looking around. The milk brand they own, the amount of the food in their fridge, etc. He totally seems the type to go into their home and bring groceries or clean up when they aren’t home. 

Possessive. He would be quite possessive. If he is close to them, he would joke with any other potential suitors with venom laced in his words when they approach them. If he wasn’t, he would indirectly find out and deal with them. Might Guy happen to want to take you out to eat? No the fuck he ain’t. Suddenly, Kakashi is proposing a new challenge to win. You’re paired up with some other shinobi for a mission, and suddenly Kakashi convinces Tsunade to put him in the team. He wants to be around his S/O all the time and he is one of the few members in the show who don’t show it as much. 

Manipulative. He would never guilt trip you because that’s beneath him, but like he would be the type to say dumb shit in a logical manner that makes you seem smarter. It’s Kakashi so saying something random for a joke wouldn’t be off putting or strange, it’s common. Common as when he says things that he has no proof to back it up but are 100% true. He would say things to his S/O, never revealing what happened but hinting at it. Would mention things that you can imply come from personal experience but you’ll never know unless you were a member of their team back then or close to him. I see him making his S/O think twice, that gut feeling they don’t know if they should trust it or not anymore so they go ask him, who directs the show behind his curtain. 

He is a dangerous yandere in terms of mental manipulation. He would never hurt his S/O willingly, placing them under a small genjutsu to calm down or pass out so that he can take them someplace safe. He always has their feelings and safety in mind, he doesn’t want a repeat of what has already happened to transpire again. He just can’t. He would take care of his S/O to such extremes, cleaning their home, buying food, etc. Some part of me headcanons that he wants to stay in his S/O’s life but also out of it. He wants to be with them, but he is afraid of getting too attached and them being ripped away from him. Once he conquers that fear, he would be a laid back man who wants a casual relationship while trying to keep the stalking, murders, intimidations, and any other non-causal relationship thing under the wraps.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

cardigan

pairing: mob!bucky barnes x reader

warnings: violence

a/n: this is a limited three part series based on three of my favourite songs from taylor swift’s 2020 life saving albums; cardigan, willow and invisible string. this one is cardigan, hope you enjoy xx

WILLOW

She clutched onto her worn out brown leather bag as she stepped inside the her father’s precinct. There wasn’t much that looked different from when she was a little girl, the tables still stood on the same messy layout which made no sense, the officers still didn’t look up whenever someone came in and the whole room smelled like stale coffee and burnt bread. The only difference was that the once endless room now felt small, nauseating, confining, a place where she didn’t want to be. 

      - Y/N. - her father’s voice rang through the small room, making her look up to where he was standing. Captain William, or dad if she was lucky enough to call him as such, was an intimidating presence even after all these years yet after her mother’s death it was him who was left of her family. - Come in. 

Her shoes felt heavy as she stepped inside his office, two more officers standing inside as she walked with her father. He closed the door, nodding his head which was a tell tale for everyone to sit down. She sat at the end of the dark green couch, away from the other two officers who were looking her up and down as if she were a prey.

       - I told you she would be perfect. Inconspicuous, he wouldn’t even think she’s undercover.

       - She’s not the type of woman Barnes go for.

       - She doesn’t need to be the type of woman he goes for, she needs to be the one who works in his bar and listens to their plans. 

Her father had told her about James Barnes. They had been trying to get him in for minor offences yet nothing seemed to pan out. The force knew they could never apprehend him for the crimes he knew he had committed but if they could get him in for something small: weapon charge, drug charge, something. For that to happen they needed someone to be in their circle and unluckily for them, Barnes and his men knew everyone who worked in the force but they didn’t know her. In return for her working in his bar, the force would pay her tuition fees as well as any books she needed. 

“It won’t be hard” was what her father had told her but as they dropped her at the bar she couldn’t help but freeze at the door. They were expecting her, she had gotten the job yet she couldn’t find herself walking inside. In any other situation she would’ve rushed past it, it wasn’t the place she would like to be in. Her hand grasped the bar of the door, pushing it open. The nightclub looked vastly desert with squeaky clean floors and bright lighting which showed the dark aesthetic of every single owned Barnes club in town. She didn’t know the man but she knew his style, dark, sleek, leather, sensual even, enough to make people feel sexual whenever they walked into his club. Yet, in broad daylight it was merely an abandoned establishment with one a table with a few hangover men still nursing a bottle of beer each, waiting for 7 PM for the club to come back to life. 

She stood out like a sore thumb, dressed in brown tones. A loose gingham black dress over a brown turtle neck covered and low black Mary Janes. Her eyes roamed the room, looking for someone to speak to but someone found her first. A tall man, probably pushing fifty, toothpick hanging from his lips and dirty rag on his left hand. She felt short, cowering under the gaze of the man.

     - You're the new girl, or what? - he questioned, thick Brooklyn accent yet Y/N didn’t dare reply, instead nodding at him. - Do you have a name?

     - Y/N.

     - Y/N, that’s nice. I’m Bobby, I’m the bar supervisor. You wanna talk to anyone? You talk only to me and you’ll do well.

She nodded her head quickly, almost like a bobble head figure, following him behind to bar. Now Y/N knew about bars or at least what they did in them, she just wasn’t expecting to see the huge amount of spirits, wines, and beers behind her. She was almost sure if someone robbed the club, they’d be better off with the booze than the money in the cash register.  The man, Bobby, ran through the basics, showing here with the cleaning products were, where some more complicated cocktail mixtures were written, how the washing machine worked and how crucial it was to constantly collect glasses from the bar and put them in there. She held a small reporter notepad, pen scribbling down messy wiggles which she wouldn’t be able to understand later on but it was still worth it. She could memorise it, she was a university student after all hence her memory for cocktails shouldn’t be hard. Everything was so polished, meticulously placed, almost too organised for a bar; the bottles placed onto glass shelves which light from under, placed almost the same measure apart in a sea of expensive beverages. 

     - Don’t serve any drinks to people who haven’t presented a payment form. If the boss comes in, serve him whiskey on the rocks. Glenlivet, no other brands. 

     - I’ve never seen the boss.

     - You’ll know. 

She was left there watching as more staff came in, the sun going down at the same time. “Just breathe, Y/N” she remembered her father’s words, she could do it, she could do it. How hard could it possible be to be a bartender? Just breathe, Y/N. She can do it, she can help his father, she can do this and then no longer have to worry about how many hours she would have to do at that little mean shop which had taken more of her than she gave them. She could be a regular university student, she just needed to breathe.

The purple, blue lights started to light the sunlight coloured bar as people started to queue up outside for a chance to get inside one of the most famous bars in town. She could faintly remember hearing her friends talking about how exclusive it was but as she looked out the window and at the queue she could finally understand it. As the doors opened and people started flocking in, suddenly she was serving drinks left and write, vodka and other shoots drenching her dress and apron as she messily tried to serve everyone at the bar screaming at her to hurry up. She kept running around like a crazy person, dragging bottles and bottles and pouring drinks which kept overfilling and dropping onto the floor. People kept yelling at her “hey sugar, how long does it take you to bring me some vodka?” but one man who was sitting still, gaze glued onto her while a cigarette hanged from the middle of his lips. She cowered under his gaze returning to hand a tray of jello shots to some girls. 

She continued to work until the last person was out of the bar but the man remained calmly leaned against the bar, the flame of his cigarette dying down. She tried to avoid him, pretending to clean the spot over and over again but the man merely scoffed, rubbing the butt of the cigarette against the ash tray.

      - You’re terrible. - he spoke out, voice raspy. - Who hired you?

      - That’s nothing to do with you. - Y/N turned around to place back the bottles onto the shelves.

      - Are you the owner?

      - No. - she placed the bottles on the shelf, hands shaking. 

      - Then it is something to do with me. - the air seemed to be punched out of her lungs, as her grip tightened around the neck of the bottle she was holding. She refused to turn around and look at him, understanding what it implied. Instead she just looked at herself in the glass wall. Just breathe, Y/N. - Can I get a ...

      - Glenlivet. - she rose herself on her tippy toes, interrupting him mid sentence. Grabbing from ice from under the bar, she added it to the glass, topping it with the expensive whiskey before placing it under a black square napkin. She continued to wipe down the counter until Bobby came back from the storage unit with more alcohol. 

     - You can go now, Y/N. I’ll see you at 7. - Bobby dismissed her and almost like thunder, she bolted off, not even stopping and allowing him to question why their boss was sitting at the bar.

Clutching her bag against her chest she started walking up to campus. She had done it, or at least managed to do something yet get no information her father wanted. That is unless her father wanted to know James Barnes’ drink of choice which she was pretty sure he didn’t want to know. Reaching her flat, she turned the key around, opening the door to see her friend Wanda waiting in the couch. 

    - You’re alive. - she mocked, turning the TV on. - Once again, tell me why you said yes to working in a mob bar ...

    - It’s not a mob bar, Wanda.

    - It is a bar owned by a mob boss who has been blamed on several murders. It is a mob bar. 

    - I’m just a bartender, nothing is gonna happen.

    - Can you tell me again why you’re doing this? Your father is the reason why you were raised by John Hughes’ movies. 

    - Okay, Wanda, you made your point. - Y/N took her jacket off, hanging it onto one of the hooks in the door.

    - I’m buying you pepper spray.

    - Pepper spray is illegal, Wan. 

    - So is the bar you’re working.

    - Okay. I’ll be careful, don’t worry. I’ll go to sleep now.

Wanda continued to ramble about her working where she was but there was really nothing she could do other than continue. All she had to do was breathe and listen and the department would pay for her tuition for the rest of her degree. Small price to pay for a much bigger price. 

As another day started, the routine started once again with her awaking up and running into class with Wanda complained about her brother followed by spending the rest of her free time until her shift began. Walking back to the bar she was telling herself once more that she would be just fine and that Wanda slipping a knife inside her bag was only her overreacting. Stepping inside the same building, Bobby was setting some shoot glasses on the counter.

    - Y/N. - he acknowledged her. - Glad to see you’re still here.

    - Wouldn’t be anywhere else. - she placed her bag and jacket under the bar and tied her apron around her waist. - Busy day?

    - Fridays are the busiest. All the university kids. Let me know if you need a hand.

    - I’m sure I’ll be okay.

Once again, wrong. She was not okay and as everyone found themselves flocking to the bar she was already running around like a crazy person, holding two bottles on each hand as people. The lights were blinding, shining on her as she served and slide more drinks onto the bar counter and to the waitresses who’d give her snide remarks whenever she took too long. Her hands were numb from the ice already yet her face was warm from moving side to side. At least, Mr. Barnes wasn’t around and that was already something she could be thankful for. She knew she had to eventually speak to him if she wanted to ever hear anything or maybe she wouldn’t have; she was good at being invisible, maybe she could just overhear something without having to ever speak with him.

   - Hey, sugar, where’s my drink? - a sluggish voice came from the bar and Y/N ignored it. Bobby told her, if anyone sounds or looks drunk to cut them off that “Mr. Barnes doesn’t need drunk people being roudy in his bar”. She continued to serve the group of girls celebrating passing an exam until the man moved over to them. - Hey, I asked where is my drink?

   - Sorry, you’re cut off. - she shrugged, grabbing some glass onto a plastic bucket so Bobby could put them in the washing machine.

   - What the fuck? C’mon give me my drink.

   - No. - Y/N just ignored it, turning around to put the bottles back onto the shelves.

   - Well then be useful and show me your tits. - the man scoffed as if it was the best joke in the world. Y/N turned around, speechless at what he had said before grabbing an half empty drink from the bar and throwing it at him which surprised the man just as much. - You bitch!

   - What’s the problem here? - fuck. Of course he had to show up. Mr. Barnes made his way towards them, holding that same powerful yet frightening stance as the strobing lights painted his face. His eyes were on her, waiting for her to say something but Y/N was mostly frozen. That was it, she was about to get shot, or worse, lose a finger or a leg or an arm. Oh god, how could she take exams without an arm? 

   - Your bartender isn’t serving me. - he pointed at her as if he were a 5 year old. 

   - Really? - Barnes stood slightly behind him and all she could see in a glimpse second was his metal arm, reflecting the strobing lights, come up to the nape of the man’s neck before he slammed his face against the glass topping of the bar counter. Y/N was startled by this, jumping back against the wall of drinks. - Get the fuck out of my bar. 

The man ran off, bloody nose, like a scared wounded animal leaving Y/N only to stare at him. Her mind rushed miles an hour, wondering if he had done that to someone what he would do to her. She should’ve taken the pepper spray from Wanda. 

   - Get back to work. - he left her with that, turning around and getting lost in the sea of people dancing. 

   - Hey ... - Bobby touched her arm, waking her from her own mind. She looked at her hands; good she still had both hands. - Go take a break, wash the glasses, I’ll do the bartending for a while.

   - I’m fine, Bobby.

   - I know. I just want you to go do something else. - Y/N nodded, not wanting to disobey anyone yet she couldn’t help but be glad she would be in the back where the big washing machine was for most of the pint glasses and other oddly shaped cups. After all, Mr. Barnes wouldn’t be hanging in the kitchen.

She pushed her hair away from her face and put on the big pink gloves and started to wash the glasses and plates from some small appetisers they sold until closing time started to near. Once the bar was cut off, she joined Bobby to clean the always messy bar and make it look as precise as it looked every single day. Another day survived, no limbs lost. 

   - That was a good one, Y/N. See you tomorrow. - Bobby bid her farewell as he exited through the door. Y/N stayed behind, moping the floor behind the mar which was mostly a pool of mixed drinks that she always somehow managed to overfill and drop onto the floor on her way to serve them. As she continued to mop, the person who she didn’t want to see sat at the bar and without much thinking, she served him his drink of choice. 

   - I ... hm ... I have to go, I have to walk home and my flatmate is waiting for me.

   - You’re walking home with your flatmate?

   - No, she’s waiting for me at the flat. - Y/N grabbed her cardigan, putting it on which immediately brought her a nostalgic warmth. 

   - I’ll drive you. 

   - Oh .. no, Mr. Barnes. It is not necessary, I’ve walked home before, I know the way. 

   - And I know the type of men who walk around my bar. - he downed the whiskey as if it were water. - Come on. 

Oh god, I’m going to sleep with the fishes. He’s gonna kill me in his car. Y/N thought to herself as she followed him to the back of the bar where he had parked his car. Of course it was a good car, a new model black Audi with sleek matte black leathered seats which looked more expensive than everything together at the bar. She wondered how much money he made. Her father hadn’t told her much about him and all she knew was merely gossip. He opened the door for her which she took as a sign to get inside the car. Once in, she noticed how awfully warm it was, he probably had the heating on so she took off her cardigan, shoving it in front of her feet as he entered the car. 

   - Where am I dropping you?

   - The student campus, south building

   - You’re a student? - he asked as the motor roared, signalling the start of the car. - Why you working here then?

   - It pays well. My mother paid for my first years but I still have my third one and a possible masters. 

   - Why not ask mum for the rest of the money then?

   - Well she’s dead. - she said, not taking the eyes off the road. - Her inheritance lasted as long as it could but tuition is expensive.

   - I’m sorry. - he tried to sneak a look at her but gave up, instead keeping his eyes on the road. - You’re a terrible bartender.

   - You’ve said that one time already, I’ve heard it. If I’m so terrible why don’t you fire me?

   - Bobby likes you. Says you’re a quick learner. Yet again, he likes every single wide eyed Disney Princess girl who works behind the bar. I give you a month or two before you quit or get knocked up.

   - I’m not gonna quit and I’m not gonna get knocked up either. 

   - Got a boyfriend?

   - No.

   - Husband? Friends with benefits?

   - I don’t have the time so if you want to get rid of me you’ll have to fire me.

   - I don’t fire people. - she saw her building come closer and closer from the car window. - Is it that one?

   - Yes. - she grabbed her bag, eager to leave the car before anything could happen. 

   - Hey, you got a black dress? - he asked as she exited the car and she nodded yes. - Good, bring it to work tomorrow. 

She mumbled an okay as the car drove away. God, she was alive. Good.  All she wanted now was to return to her home and in a few minutes she was back in her living room where Wanda and her twin brother Pietro were waiting for her. Of course waiting meant watching Shark Tank and discussing how bad all the inventions were. 

   - How was work in hell? - Wanda didn’t even look at her, eyes glued to the TV while she stuffed popcorn in her mouth.

   - I didn’t need to use the knife you snuck into my bag, thank you.

   - You snuck a knife onto her back? - Pietro looked dumbfound at his sister who immediately snapped back with a response. 

   - She’s working for James Barnes, she needs to carry a knife block and she’s lucky I only put a steak knife. - Wanda turned around in the couch. - Hey where’s your cardigan? I swear you left with it. 

   - Shit. - Y/N looked around. - Fuck, I’ve left it in his car.

   - Whose car? 

   - Mr. Barnes’. He gave me a ride and I took my cardigan off because the car was so warm. Fuck. I’ll never see it again.

   - Why were you in his car, are you crazy? - now Wanda was interested. Clearly her best friend’s lack of judgment was more interesting than the poor soul trying to pitch a tuna can opener shaped like a tuna to a bunch of executives.

   - He gave me a ride ... oh and do you have a black dress?

   - I do. - Pietro said gaining an odd look from the two girls. - What? Girls love me and I love them. Stuff get’s left behind. What can I say?

   - You’re disgusting. - Wanda rolled her eyes. 

taglist: @lookiamtrying @mariamermaid @sebastianstansqueen @unmagically​

[ellestra]

Just cause is not enough

The Madripoor at night was basically Ghost in the Shell/Blade Runner/every cyberpunk story from the last several decades back on screen. The colours, the clothes, even the rain. But I did get a kick of that lighted up face mask.

It’s pretty clear Sharon didn’t tell them the whole truth. Her finding them seemed to convenient. Her whole new life completely unlike the character we saw before.

And sure she didn’t get much character development. And it’s been years since her story was dropped. She wasn’t on the run with Steve and Sam and Natasha and Wanda. It looks like she was out of contact all that time. She could’ve changed. Maybe, she came she came to Madripoor long before she was Snapped and it changed her. And sure, when she came back and it turned out Steve was gone before she found her bearing so he couldn’t push for her rehabilitation as everyone who fought Thanos got it soured her even more. The one who believed so much in Captain America turned cynic about all what he represented. She almost like Zemo in her disdain.

But it doesn’t seem like she tried to contact anyone else really. I’m sure someone with her money and skills could’ve contacted her family. Add to that her complete turn and it all just felt wrong. I just couldn’t buy this is all Sharon is now - stolen art dealer who doesn’t care. And that last moment made me even more convinced me think she is working undercover there trying to find out who Power Broker is. Probably using Bucky and Sam and Zemo’s created carnage to flush him out.

As Karli says he has to react now that Flag Smashers have the only serum left.

It didn’t take long for the new Captain America to start representing all the wrong sides of American “help”. Walking justification of all the doubts everyone has voiced about  - especially one so nationalistically themed as this one. But he isn’t stupid. He knows Bucky and Sam freed Zemo. Well, Bucky did but Sam went with it.

And then Walker decides to go off book to get them. Like a “fuck you” to them for saying he can’t. But it hits so differently when he does it, doesn’t it? It hits differently when someone in power doesn’t follow the rules. When all the abuses of that power they do to get results can be just swiped under the rug.

I knew they would need to break Zemo out when his name was mentioned but I didn’t expect that Bucky came in knowing it too. And that he already put the plan in motion even before he set up the visit. But for all the jokes about Sam not knowing enough about how the Madripoor or the big time criminal underworld functions or even that Zemo was rich and a baron he wasn’t wrong about Wakandans not being happy about Zemo being free. Of course, Bucky was prepared for that too.

And I bet that it’s one of the reason’s Zemo didn’t ditch them - either after escape or later. Sure, they do have the same goal of finding out the super serum and stopping it but Bucky is also only one who can keep Dora Milaje at bay. Still, the other reason is probably planning to kill Bucky too. It’s his whole thing. How they didn’t see he would kill that scientist when they know this is the reason he came along is beyond me. I only wondered how he would do it.

At first I even suspected he was behind the one who shot Selby. And the show makes sure we don’t get to comfortable with him helping. There is certain tendency for people to overlook the bad parts for cool villains that are being useful. The whole Loki-like arc that glosses over the victims and the dead (so for Loki it added mind control too for justification but we all know most viewers didn’t even think of that when they forgave him). For Zemo shows keeps throwing his privilege in our faces, it has him constantly torture James with his past as Winter Soldier and it reminds us of all he did - like killing king T’Chaka.

And yet even the bad guys’ grievances can be real. They can be a real issues that one has right to be angry about. The Avengers are responsible for destruction of Sokovia. And not just the whole Ultron thing. The changing borders from that GRC adds apparently include Sokovia being partitioned and disappearing from map. As person whose country went through that I can feel his anger - that feeling of injustice, of being wronged, of feeling like you lost everything  - and it’s made even worse that the people seem to neither care or notice.

It’s why he is being listed as one of the few villains MCU got right. His motives were clear and understandable. It was his methods that made him a villain. And we are seeing this repeated in Karli.

That shiny add of bright future of post-Blip utopia by GRC followed by the dark reality of the raid was so heavy handed as it was effective. It’s hard not to feel for the Flag Smasher cause when you see the raids GRC sponsors when someone opposes them. With their own branded police. With their unused stores of food and medicine when people died from lack of resources in refugee camps.

It’s not only the returned who have no place any more. Many of those who lived were kicked out of their houses when the people who used to own them came back. Hulk bringing back half of the world’s people made them loose everything. And no one seemed to cared. And there wasn’t much they could do about it. Until they got some super powers of their own.

But like with Zemo the moment Karli went from well intentioned extremist and folk hero to the villain of this story was the methods. When you lose so much and “them” seem to neither notice or care the need to make them suffer as much as you do to understand can lead to dark places. For Karli it was moving from stealing to murder. The hope for her not going bad blew up with that building and people in it.

And this is why Sam needs to be Captain America. Yes, we see all the ways such symbols can go wrong in Walker and all the mistakes that Avengers (especially Tony made) and all that Sharon mentions. But symbols do matter even if what they represent is flawed. They matter because they can represent a better version of that thing. They can remind us to try to achieve that better version.

And people who represent those symbols matter. Especially when you can feel they can understand that hopeless feeling of being wronged and ignored. They can show you someone gets it and will stand up for you. Someone who can show you the way to the goal and never tire of fighting for it all the while being able to avoid the temptation, we all get, of just going for revenge of it. Steve was great at personifying that but he was the WWII era personification. I like how the show is trying to show Sam he can be that for the modern MCU. And maybe for us too. At least a little.

[avi17]

Re: the nail

Hahaha so I haven’t actually talked much about AoR on here beyond reblogging things, but now I’m mad so you get A Rant.  Spoilers ahead for the Dark Crystal Bestiary if you don’t have it yet (which I don’t, I’m not sure how people are getting it already but who knows)

----Spoilers past this line---

So as a few of you have probably seen, the new Bestiary book has some Skeksis and urRu bios in addition to all the stuff about creatures/plants/etc.  This is all lovely, except for a detail they’ve thrown into skekGra’s.  Apparently, the nail/bolt/whatever you want to call it that is driven into his skull is something he did himself, in order to “better attune his mind to the vibrations of the Crystal”?

Alright so first of all.

I think it goes without saying that the popular, honestly near-universal fanon is that this was something done to him by the other Skeksis.  Most seem to think it was a punishment, a few have posited that it could have been more like an attempted lobotomy to try to cure him of what they would perceive as insanity. There’s a bunch of art of this, it’s referenced in a large percentage of fic about him, it’s the first, most logical answer given in most discussions I’ve seen. “He did it himself” was by a mile the least prevalent theory.  Now I know the fans aren’t always right. And I’m not necessarily mad here that they messed up my headcanon personally- I always want more information about my fandoms, and I’m glad to have my hcs replaced by explanations that are interesting or make more sense than whatever I might have guessed.  This, however, does not.

I could get past the idiocy of thinking that nailing a garden spike into your head will allow you to commune better with the planet- that could probably just be passed off as being done under the influence of hallucinogens. XD The book also mentions that binding his arms behind his back was something he also did himself, as penance for his earlier violence.  That I could also get behind, on its own.  But combined with the nail, that means that in response to skekGra’s betrayal of them and everything they stand for- possibly the greatest offense ever done against them- the Skeksis did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  A race known for delighting in gruesome punishments, who have chopped off hands and fed eyeballs to bugs for comparatively minor offenses- their response to this was to tell them to leave?  Exile, for a character who didn’t want to be part of what they were doing anymore anyways- it’s barely even a consequence.  That makes no sense, and is about as uninteresting and anticlimactic as that part of their backstory could be. Plus, the puppet show specifically depicts the Skeksis attacking them- you could argue that they punished them in a less permanent way, but again, this seems very out of character for a race known for gleefully maiming each other.  And skekGra’s mini-puppet depicts him without the nail, while urGoh’s still has aesthetic elements like his hat, seeming to indicate that the nail isn’t something he considers part of himself, or is perhaps something he wishes wasn’t there.  If it was something he did himself and was proud of, why wouldn’t it be there?

But also, even if it was intended as some sort of tool, driving a spike into your own head is still going to be painful, and we’re supposed to believe that he knowingly did that to not only himself, but also to urGoh?  When he is the ONLY Skeksis who would actually care if he caused harm to his Mystic half?  Permanently binding his arms would likely also be painful and eventually damaging.  I just don’t buy that he would find either of the reasons this book gave to be justification enough to do these things to himself with the knowledge that he would also be hurting urGoh.  A lot of people also have posited that the nail, in addition to the drugs, might be a contributing factor in some of his erratic behavior, as it would basically be a traumatic brain injury.  This, again, both makes more sense and is more interesting than “it’s basically nothing, he just felt like it.”

There’s more I could say, but it’s likely to just devolve further into keysmashing.  This may very well have always been their intent with that part of the design, but I wish they’d just never told us, because it’s almost insultingly mundane, and kills one of the most compelling parts of the characters’ backstories that so many fans have expanded upon in such amazing ways.  We’re told that the Skeksis cast him out and branded him Heretic, but it’s pretty both disappointing and seemingly unlikely for it to turn out that that’s really ALL they did.  It’s just a case where it feels like we’ve ended up thinking about it way more than the people who actually made it, and that’s always a really big bummer. -unimpressed trombone noise-

Thankfully it’s fanfic and therefore we have the option to completely ignore it.

Art by @mystics-and-chill​ because we are both salty as hell.

[literaticat]

Logic dictates that higher advance = bigger marketing and publicity budget. But why do a small number of books with super high advances (7 figures for 2 or 3 books) end up not getting much marketing and publicity?

Hm well uh - I have never been in the lucky position to have had a seven figure book (THOUGH I AM VERY MUCH OPEN TO IT, UNIVERSE) - but.... I don't think what you are positing is true, actually. Like I feel pretty sure that if a publisher paid A MILLION dollars on a book (or even 2 or 3 books), they would feel PRETTY strongly about wanting to at least TRY and sell some copies of it????

Here's the thing - I think that people are sometimes a bit confused about the difference bt Publicity and Marketing. Forgive me if you know all this but:

Publicity refers to EARNED MEDIA. Book reviews, traditional media coverage, and organic social media coverage, particularly. The publisher doesn't PAY for publicity -- they pay publicists to get material to review outlets and pitch stories to media outlets, and then the review and media outlets decide whether or not to bite.

So you have a new book. For every new book, the publicists want to get it in front of all the trade book reviewers, mags and newspapers, and big mouths on social media, and influential librarians and booksellers who might write reviews or talk about it.

The bigger the book, and the more possible "publicity hooks", the more likely they will also approach every TV show and huge "fancy" media outlet. (They don't do all this for every book -- because it's pointless. Most Fancy media outlets simply do not care about random books and are not appropriate. Like, if you have written a chapter book, it's pointless to send it to Vanity Fair or Entertainment Weekly, you know?)

But for the "big" splashy books, they will be pitching the book to be in, like, Reese's book club and the author to go on Late Night and Vanity Fair to put it in some round-up, and possibly submit the author to the Miss Baltimore Crab competition for all I know! If the book has multiple "publicity hooks" -- they will further pitch THOSE. So, let's say the author of this splashy fantasy ALSO was a soldier who rescued a bunch of people and then came home and wrote this book for the kids she rescued -- well THAT'S an interesting hook for a story, maybe the People magazine will want to cover that as a human interest story. Or let's say the author is a doctor and studies XYZ syndrome, and the novel stars a kid with XYZ syndrome - maybe the Journal of XYZ Syndrome would write a profile, and the author could be on 60 minutes. Basically, they do a LOT of outreach to all kinds of different places, is the point. BUT:

They could send it to ONE MILLION places. If nobody wants to review the book or pick up the story.... they just won't. This is the curse of Publicity -- it's really hard to judge the amount of work that has been done by the result. Book 1 might take off because of a random tiktok by a tween that goes viral -- Book 2 might have multiple publicists working around the clock to get the word out about it, but the book sinks like a stone. (And, worse luck, if Book 2 went and hired the tween from Book 1 to try the "viral" trick again - it probably wouldn't work!)

Marketing refers to PAID media. That is to say, advertisements in NYT, or on a billboard in the subway station, that's marketing, yes. But is THAT appropriate for every book? Absolutely not, it would be a waste of a large amount of money for most books. Like, it's MUCH more likely that a billboard or full-page ad in the NYT will be effective for an already super-popular series, to gin up enthusiasm from fans that KNOW the property and author, or to celebrate the book winning a huge award or something like that and remind people to buy it -- a billboard for something that nobody has ever heard of yet will just be wallpaper for commuters.

For most authors, the most effective marketing is not nearly so splashy as that, and it involves marketing TOWARD BOOKSELLERS (and librarians) rather than to the general public; raising awareness with these "gatekeepers" means that they will (hopefully) pass their enthusiasm on to readers, get piles of copies into the bookstore for you to buy. What I mean is, the marketing IS happening, for sure, but YOU, an outsider, may not ever see it in the same way you see a billboard. For example:

Putting ads in book-industry places like Shelf Awareness or PW, having the book on display in the publishers booth at ALA or NCTE, giving away posters or swag to educators, printing galleys/ARCS, bookmarks, whatever -- all of that is marketing. "Publisher co-op", where a bookstore gets a certain amount of money or credit of some kind for advertising a book - or special promotions where a bookstore orders x-number of copies of a book and gets both a better discount and a cool display to put the books in -- that's marketing.

But again - the problem is, the biggest marketing spend in the world doesn't guarantee anything. I've walked into the Javits Centre for BEA or ALA or another huge conference -- and seen a book COMPLETELY saturate the entire conference centre with adverts. I'm talking LITERALLY multi-story high banners -- massive adverts running up the stairs and escalators -- the title and logo of the book branded on each lanyard that 25,000 librarians are wearing, and each of them with a tote bag featuring the book art, all of which must have cost a fool's fortune in marketing $ -- and the book just does "meh" when it comes out because people don't care. And guess what? That author's friends probably think "wow, they really didn't do any marketing." THEY DID! THEY DID MARKETING! THEY SPENT A FORTUNE! Not all marketing is successful! Sometimes you get a "Coke" -- sometimes you get a "NEW Coke"!

[lovelyirony]

Fic title meme : pulvis et umbra sumus (We Are Dust And Shadows)

On every single document, including the ones that show what actually happened to Howard and Maria Stark, Tony Stark is listed as dead among them. 

He is not. 

But in not calling in the accident on the abandoned road, Tony managed to find someone else to take his place and escaped. 

Tony Stark is dead. A whole family funeral and everything. Obadiah pretends to cry. Tony is at the funeral with shitty dye in his hair and sunglasses that he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing. Ha. 

The funeral is closed casket. All their faces are rumored to be impossible to fix with make-up. 

He makes new documents. Anthony Jarvis, from Boston. Airtight background. Likes puzzles. Scored damn high on the SAT, but not the perfect score. 

(Killed him to answer some of those questions wrong, seriously.) 

Anthony Jarvis goes to MIT and requests a single room. He gets one for one semester, and then the room next to his burns and destroys his as well. So he gets moved to Jim Rhodes’. 

Jim becomes Rhodey, and he is the first friend of Anthony Jarvis, and nicknames him Tony. 

He grins at that. 

There are plenty of times that Tony wants to tell him. The thing about secrets is that they need to be shared. No one really wants a secret, nor do they want to keep it. But he keeps his mouth shut and asks if he wants to go for Thai food. 

“This is the third time this week.” 

“Not my fault it’s good! I’ll pay...” 

“Sign me up.” 

Tony and Rhodey gets Thai food. It’s good. 

Rhodey lets him in on a secret that Tony had actually known about since his room assignment. 

(You remember that guy’s room that caught on fire? Yeah, he swore that his microwave hadn’t been on, and nothing had been plugged in. He was right. But Tony needed an accident.) 

In other circumstances, Rhodey would have ignored the offer that he had. He had had his heart set on Air Force. But there was something about the man who talked to him. 

“It’s a place called Strategic-Homeland-something I can’t remember,” Rhodey says. “Point is, they’re a big deal and kind of shady, but not in the government shady kind of way. The only thing I can find out about them is that they’re an international company who need engineers, pilots, and basically anyone like you and me. I don’t know how I feel about it.” 

Tony nods. 

“You want me in on this?” 

“I mean, you did tell me a couple of weeks ago that you weren’t sure what you wanted to do after graduation.” 

(It was two weeks, three days, and fourteen hours ago. Not like he was counting.) 

“...thanks. I’ll check it out with you.” 

Anthony Jarvis shows up in a nice suit, stupid sunglasses, and impresses the higher-ups by diagnosing a problem with the engine that others had previously marked as “impossible.” 

He’s hired on the spot, same as Rhodey. 

Tony Jarvis gets his own keycard, finds an apartment in New York that’s within at least biking distance, and gets started on inventing some cute little toys for the spies in Research and Development. 

He brings the laser-lipstick to life, poison-drop-earrings, spyglasses that actually work and have HD, and briefcases that use mirroring technology to change color. 

“How did you do this?” Rhodey asks, eyes wide. “I swear this is unreal.” 

“Aw,” Tony says. “You sap. I got some inspiration from some old comic book ads. I think I’m gonna try a ring decoder next, what do you think?” 

“Almost makes me want to go on missions instead of flying them.” 

Tony Jarvis is known for working odd yet long hours. He comes up with results. And he keeps his head down and minds his own business. 

This is all to find out exactly who killed his parents. As much as his and Howard’s relationship was...interesting, he still wanted to know. 

His desire to know the truth leads to somewhere he hadn’t thought was possible: Hydra. 

His hands freeze as he looks at the paper file with thick, black lines all over. The information there was sparse. Howard, Maria, and Anthony Stark all died. It was ruled: 

And there’s nothing there. 

It wasn’t an accident. Sure he knew that, but there was something far more sinister at play. Why wasn’t it an accident? 

- 

He gets Alexander Pierce in his apartment with a man in the corner. His arm gleams in what little light from the lamps outside give off. 

“Why are you searching for the Stark files?” He asks. 

“Why didn’t you just schedule a meeting? I’m available tomorrow at three,” Tony jokes. “Who’s your friend here?” 

“Someone you wouldn’t want to shake hands with,” Pierce answers. “You need to stop looking into this before you find yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in.” 

“And if I don’t?” 

“Accidents will happen,” Pierce says. He gets up from the table, to the counter. Gets out a glass. And makes himself water. He smiles as he looks to the man in the corner. “Do you want any water, Winter Soldier?” 

Winter Soldier remains impassive. 

Tony stills. 

“So, the legends are true. And Hydra is still around.” 

“And if you aren’t careful, you won’t be,” Pierce says. “Don’t bring any of this up. Or this won’t be the last time you see Winter Soldier. I know your moves, Jarvis. Don’t think you can surprise me.” 

They exit the apartment. Tony realizes that Pierce took his glass. 

And he laughs. 

Because this? Not according to plan, but god he’s gonna have fun with it.  

It starts with telling Rhodey who he actually is. 

It does not go as planned. 

“So let me get this straight. I’ve known you for years and you just. Never told me?” Rhodey asks. “Why not?” 

“To be completely fair, no one knows besides a man in Wisconsin, and he’s from Wisconsin,” Tony says. “Also I was drunk. Drunk me is a terrible person who would sell me for a buffalo nickel.” 

“I’m still mad, even if that’s funny,” Rhodey says, trying not to smile. “So. Why tell me now? I’m assuming you need something.” 

“I would like your help,” Tony says. “It is not required but I am toppling a secret organization living in SHIELD and I think if I get your help, I will most likely not get fired by the end of this. Fury likes you, he hates me.” 

“False, he mildly tolerates you. You’ll be fine. Probably. Who else should we get to help?” 

Tony had originally planned for no one. 

But then there was Pepper Potts. 

She had been deemed by the media as “crazy” for accusing Obadiah Stane, longtime-CEO of Stark Industries, as ordering a hit out on the Stark family. 

She had been booted from the company--anticipated--and then Hydra had ordered a hit on her. 

Slightly unexpected. 

Point is, Rhodey brings her into the apartment and tells Tony casually that the grocery store had run out of his usual hummus brand, was the generic okay? 

“That’s like asking if I’m okay with blue pens,” Tony curses. “Also, is that Pepper Potts? Why is she here? Did you run into her at the grocery store?” 

“No, as I was coming back. Did you know that she has a hit out on her? Fun times.” 

“Oh my god, will someone explain to me what’s going on here?!” Pepper seethes. “I was just trying to get my yogurt without anyone taking a picture of me and some random fucking guy had a knife thrown at me and then this guy took me to your house!” 

She then rants for ten minutes about the “questionable design choices going on in this establishment, who honestly thinks shot glasses are a decoration?!” 

“Are you done?” Tony asks. “Because if you want to help with a conspiracy plot, you need to be done.” 

She is. 

Pepper does not get a job with SHIELD. In fact, she mainly just decides to take care of the redecoration in Tony’s apartment. 

“You will be paying me for this.” 

“Why would I do that? You’re using my money to buy everything. You’re living here rent free for now.” 

“Because I’m helping you make better life choices. I also want new shoes.” 

What Pepper does is provide very valuable access to Stark Industries: she knows the ins and outs, what employees do and don’t do, and also is very helpful in telling Tony what he needs to do when he takes the company over. 

“Who said I was going to take it over?” 

“Me,” Pepper says. “Also because I reviewed every single old document and the company was specified to go to next-of-kin. You are. And you’re not dead.” 

“My death certificate is literally framed,” Tony says, pointing to his graduation photo that Rhodey took. He had swapped out his official diploma with it as a joke. No one had seen it. He thought it was hilarious. 

“Yeah, but they can do DNA testing,” Pepper says. “This is like the twenty-first century Anastasia except this time they don’t find you with metal detectors!” 

“I don’t like that you know that story as well as you do,” Rhodey says. “But I’ll leave you a credit card for furniture and groceries. If you get rid of my drinks in the fridge I’m literally never forgiving you.” 

“Noted, and I don’t need forgiveness,” Pepper says. “But they’ll stay there.” 

So begins the plot. 

Pierce doesn’t know three things, which is a lot of things not to know: 

1.) Tony Jarvis is not Tony Jarvis. 

2.) Rhodey actually likes Tony and most of the time him saying that he would “kill Tony in a variety of ways, starting with sporks and moving forward...” is mostly (mostly) a joke. 

3.) Pepper Potts resides in their apartment and is having fun telling Tony she bought new silverware. 

“Why did you buy new silverware! It was fine!” 

“I recognized all of these forks and knives from restaurants. Why did you steal them from restaurants?” 

“They can replace them!” 

“Don’t. Anyways now your spoons match and you don’t have the shitty ones from different places. Also I painted the bathroom.” 

“My landlord is gonna kill me.” 

“I made her cookies and discovered that she likes going to concerts. You’ll be fine.” 

(Pepper is a goddess. You can’t convince them otherwise.) 

Pierce doesn’t know any of this, but he still holds a key piece of blackmail: Tony Jarvis shouldn’t know about Hydra, and he’ll do anything to make sure that he doesn’t lose his job. 

Tony has been recording their conversations for weeks. 

(Pierce thinks he doesn’t design things to get around the available technology. Pathetic.) 

He also has bugged Pierce as well as his house, and figures out that Winter Soldier is going to be on assignment within the DC area in an effort to kill some higher-up on the foodchain that was SHIELD. 

Well. 

Tony has always wanted to go and see the cherry blossoms a little more up close. 

Pepper, of course, doesn’t like that they left his boots on. 

“This couch is new and red,” she says. “Take off his boots!” 

“He is unconscious and probably won’t be in the next fifteen minutes,” Rhodey says. “We are not touching him and possibly shortening that fifteen minutes.” 

Winter Soldier wakes up to three faces staring at him. 

“Mission failed?” he asks, voice robotic. 

“Nope, you just got a new one,” says the man on the right. He is wearing a t-shirt. Winter Soldier thinks that in this situation, a t-shirt is not the best option. 

(Of course, he’s not supposed to think. But they don’t have to know that.” 

“Can you take your shoes off?” says the woman in the middle. “Please. You’re getting germs on the couch.” 

He’s confused. 

“Who am I killing?” 

“No one, yet,” says the man on the left. “Do you know who you are?” 

“Winter Soldier.” 

“No, like a name? I’m assuming you’ve had a name at some point.” 

“Someone has called me Mr. Freeze before.” 

The man on the left snorts. Man on the right taps his arm lightly. 

“Well, um, okay then. How do you feel about the name...aw shit. I can’t think of a name for you when your mask is on. Can you take the mask off?” 

He takes it off. It’s nicer to breathe. 

The man in the t-shirt pauses. 

“Okay. So your name is Bucky Barnes. Do you know that name?” 

Something clicked. But he doesn’t know what. 

“Sounds...familiar.” 

“Cool! So that’s your name now, do me a favor and don’t google it. I’m Tony, this is Rhodey, and this is Pepper. If you don’t take your shoes off, you’re going to be scared of her.” 

Newly-named-Bucky highly doubts that he will be scared of Pepper because she is built like a twig and she is wearing high heels. 

(He is wrong about ten minutes later when she forcibly throws a fork at him.) 

“Why am I here?” he asks. “Should I be checking back in with Handler Pierce?” 

“No,” comes the consensus from everyone else in the room. 

“Technically, he thinks you went rogue and went back to Russia. He’s organizing a team to go get you. We hired an actor to play you. It’s been entertaining. He got some plums. Do you like plums?” 

“Why is that relevant?” 

“It’s vapid and not interesting at all, Tony loves questions like that,” Rhodey says. “Now come on. We need to get you actual shirts. Also some body wash.” 

Bucky Barnes learns how to be a person. He stares at himself in the mirror for an hour and smiles slightly when Pepper calls him “vain” and pushes him aside to grab her hairbrush. 

He then learns that Hydra is trying to overtake SHIELD and they have a slight window with Pierce out. 

This involves two things: 

1.) Tony Stark coming back from the dead. 

2.) SHIELD panicking that they didn’t know this secret and taking another look at the paperwork, in which case Hydra will be found out. 

These are both easier than anticipated. Tony can act like a showman better than anyone, and has been carefully growing a goatee that is eerily reminiscent of his late father’s. Of course he’s had to switch it up. 

The media is going crazy. SHIELD as well. They’re scrambling to find paperwork that proves that it happened, and they find that the “accident” was no accident. That Howard hadn’t been working for the “enemy” at the time. 

The enemy was in the building, and they had blended in seamlessly. 

This all happens on a Wednesday, by the way. Pepper has it marked on the calendar and everything. Rhodey made his coffee. 

Bucky is busy slamming people into drywall and listening for any word from Rhodey, who is also slamming people into drywall. 

“You know, you’d think we’d get something like a suit of armor for this,” Rhodey pants out, slamming another guy out of his way. 

Bucky nods. 

“Best I can offer is a grenade.” 

“Where in the fuck did you get a grenade?!” 

“Supply closet. Second floor. What, you didn’t check?” 

“No sorry must’ve missed it--of course I didn’t fucking check the second floor closet!” Rhodey yells. 

Bucky says he’s stressed. He should calm himself. 

Rhodey chucks a particularly nasty Hydra agent out a window. 

(Bucky thinks Rhodey is probably the coolest person he’ll ever meet.) 

Tony is fashionably late to the take-down of the century. He’s already foiled a lot of plans, and taken a key-card for Project Insight to work. 

He waltzes in and nearly gets hit by a mug. 

“So, how’s the party going?” he yells over to Pepper. Pepper is still in her heels. She looks like a goddess still, as usual. It is a Wednesday, after all. 

“As fine as it can be,” Pepper says. “We’ve met some resistance. With Pierce gone there’s little infrastructure. You got his plane delayed, correct?” 

“Even better. Got it sent to London. Motherfucker is gonna be there for a while,” Tony says. “Also may or may not have said that he was a threat. SHIELD branch there will investigate, find out some questionable things in his file that he will swear up and down were never there.” 

“Good,” Pepper says. She launches a stapler at someone’s head. “Do you think we’ll have time to pick up takeout for dinner?” 

“Depends on whether or not Deputy Director Hill is Hydra.” 

They see Maria Hill pass by in a blur, yelling as she jumps onto a man and sends him crashing down over a railing. 

“Lovely, she isn’t!” Pepper cheers. “By the way, I was thinking about redoing our kitchen.” 

“‘Our’ kitchen?” Tony says, ducking a bullet and drawing out his personal lipstick-laser, firing it with expert precision. “I told you the living situation was temporary.” 

“Oh please, you have an extra room.” 

“Which was an office!” Tony tells her. 

“Like you can’t have your office at Stark Industries,” Pepper says. “I expect to hear how the reveal went over dinner. Also, please hire me back. I don’t wanna be your interior decorator for forever.” 

“Neither do I, you like modern art. Disgusting.” 

And so the fighting resumes. 

It is done by five-thirty-two, with an official surrender from Pierce. 

“Thank god, I already ordered Chinese and they said it’d be here at six,” Rhodey says. 

They all sit on the red couch. 

Shoes on. 

Tony tips four hundred percent. 

-

“So what are we doing tomorrow?” Rhodey asks. 

“I am not moving for six hours,” Bucky answers. “Also maybe getting a library card.” 

“This is the first thing you want out of the icebox? A library card?” Tony asks, laughing. 

Pepper laughs. 

“I have errands to run. You can come with me and we’ll swing by.” 

“What are the errands?” 

“Getting a kitchen mixer and also making sure that my plates match my napkins.” 

“A travesty if it doesn’t happen,” Rhodey deadpans. “Pass the lo mein, Tony. You’re hogging it.” 

“I had to fight on a Wednesday and run,” Tony says. “Today isn’t cardio day.” 

“Literally hate it when you speak,” Rhodey says. “Absolutely abhor your language.” 

They go to bed, although it’s more of laying on the floor. 

Sure, Tony will have to deal with retaking a business that he knows a bit less about and Pepper will have to be trained (again) and also fight against being made CEO (but she won’t fight much). Rhodey will get a new job with SI because it’s not like Tony will let him work at SHIELD (Rhodey tries, Tony will get him fired at some point). Bucky just...he needs to get a bit more than a library card. 

But that’s for tomorrow. 

[winter-fox-queen]

Final Bets

Summary:  Alejandro enacts his daring plan to get You and your daughter free and clear.  But will things end the way he thought they would, when he foist came when you called?

Warnings:  Some violence, cursing, and the attendant and You are both female.

Final one.  THANK YOU for reading this.  And special thanks to @hnt-escape for being amazing, talented, and putting up with me.  (Also for creating the collages.). Her awesome poem is here:

This time, he knew who was on the other side of the door when someone knocked on it.  He opened it up, resolved, serious, a little nervousness building, coiling inside his stomach.  

The front desk clerk.  Looking equally resolved.  He nods, tosses the key on the bed, and shuts the door.

“You remember what I told you?”  He pulls over in an alley, dropping her off in a blind spot so there’s no record of them together.  Casablanca rises like a debauched king over them, not too far a walk.  He hands her an envelope.  She nods, shoves it away.  He takes her chin gently.  “If it looks dangerous, if there’s even the tiniest bit of danger…run.  Nothing’s worth your life.”

She nods again, smiles.  “You can depend on me.”

“Take your cut before her daughter gets there, leave the bag, and split.”

“You don’t trust her?”

“I didn’t raise her.”  He says, looking at the rearview mirror, watching now, always.  “I could have been…not biologically, I was out of the picture, then.  But if she needed help, I would have come.  I always made sure she had a way to reach me.”  He shrugged.  “So, her kid doesn’t know me…why would she trust me?  And that means I…we…can’t trust her.”

“But you trust me?”

He smiles at her, and nods.  A bit like he’s surprised to admit it.

“Alright.”  She gets out of the car and he reverses down the alley, finds a cruddy lot where the cameras are probably broken and parks.  Pays the guy at the kiosk cash.  Reviews what your daughter told him about security protocols.  Hope you were right, that the whole staff had grown soft, because people were too afraid to try and steal from the Casablanca so the guards were really more show than tell.

Every step, he has two things going on in his mind.  Mentally he’s estimating where the attendant is, sees her enter the casino just ahead of him, so he slows down, resets the timer in his head.  The other thing, of course, is looking for you.

He told her daughter, on the phone earlier, not to let you know.   So when you look at him, at first just a security guard in a trim suit looking for danger, then realization as to who he is warms your eyes and there’s a softness to your face for a moment before the mask slips back into place.

He’s wearing a white shirt and black pants, and the red jacket again.  He know he smells of chlorine and bad decisions.

But still, he makes his way over.  Watches a craps game but does not wager. Cashes the 5,000 chip out.  Thinks. She left the gift shop by now.  She must be at the elevator.  Now she’s on the third floor.  Now it’s the restroom.  Let’s give it a moment, in case someone is in that stall…

He buys one 100.00 chip.  The teller didn’t want to give him something so low, but he just stood there and smiled, with his biggest, sharpest smile, tacky sunglasses hiding his eyes, changing the shape of his face.

He plays the roulette, the ultimate wheel of fortune.  Wins, which is annoying because he knows he doesn’t have time to cash it in, so he dumps in on the tray of a nearby waitress and finishes his approach.

“I’m sorry.”  He says, when he gets close enough.

You frown.  “For what?”

He sticks his hands in his pockets.  Casablanca was one of the casinos that still armed their guards.  The gun was casino property, logged in and out.  

“Everything.  I wish.  I should have gone with you.  I should never even have left you for any reason at all.”

You’re scanning the room, trying to stay composed, but he can see it, a flicker here and there of emotion.

In his head, the elevator dinged.  She’d be leaving, making her way to the doors.  The loot in a brand new bag.  

“I could stand here all day and apologize.  But it won’t matter.”

“Why not?”  Did he hear a little desperation, a little longing?  Or was he hoping to hear it?

“Because of this.”  He grabbed her wrist, slung her roughly around, his right hand yanking her gun out of its holster.  Left arm around her, pressing her to him, right hand shooting in what he hoped was a civilian safe direction before pressing it to her temple.

“I am so sorry sweetheart.”  He whispers in your ear.  

“What do you want?”  you scream.  “Let me go!”

He doesn’t want the guards to think heist.  He doesn’t want them to think money, or danger to the casino.  He wants the other guards to think there is just one problem, and it is right here.  He wants confusion.  

“We’re going outside and you can tell the moon and the stars to stop talking to me!”  He screams.  “I am so fucking sick of them talking to me!”

He starts pulling you back, ranting and raving, into the men’s room.  No cameras, and one of those that was positioned with two sets of doors.  

“Run on through, and start screaming.”  He says, shedding his skin, shoving the red jacket into a bin.  “Your daughter will text you the meeting place.”

The guard ran in only a second later.  They look at the messy haired man, hands up, thick rimmed glasses, blue tee shirt.  

“He took her that way…through the other door.”  His voice is completely different, thick Spanish accent, soft and timid and very afraid and completely non threatening.  

The guard kept going. Alejandro adjusts his glasses, takes one more look at himself in the mirror, and leaves the restroom, flowing through the crowds.  Worried over you.  Hoping you were shedding your skin, too, coming out the other side safe.

There you were.  Hair down.  Suit coat off.  You were wearing a white shell, arms bare.  You winked at him, and then the crowd took you away, just as they started, finally, locking down the casino.  He made it out, barely, and kept walking.

He pulled out of the parking lot, and she was there.  The attendant.  He stopped, smiling up at her, and she took something out of her bag.  A smaller purse.  Tiger stripped gold leather.  She hands it to him.  “To go with your shirt.”  He opens it.  500,00 dollars, probably, give or take.

“Is this?”

“Your share.  I don’t trust her either.”

He tucks it under the seat, behind his legs.  “You know,” he says, contemplatively.  “If we go left, we could go off, become private eyes.  I think you could probably buy your way in to a very new practice.”

She leans on the door.  “And right?”

He grins up at her.  “How do you feel about moral ambiguity?  

“I don’t know.”  She’s smiling a little now.

“Or…I could drop you off at the bus station.  Then you’d really be free.”

She came around to the passenger side and got in.  He started driving away, not wanting to draw any more attention by stalling.

“No to the bus station,” she says after a bit.  “Can I think about the other two?”

“Absolutely.  You have time…I need to drive us somewhere first.  Make sure of something.”  He clears his throat.  “If you don’t mind?”

She shakes her head.  “Does it have to do with the note you asked me to give her daughter?’

“Yeah.  Go ahead and sleep.”  He says.  “It’s a long drive.”

**

He’s sitting on the edge of the pool, tee shirt and shorts, clean shaven.  He looks like no one he’s ever been before.  His legs are in the water, and rose petals swirl around.  The one place you’d be able to find easily.  If you wanted to.

“How long should I wait?”  He asks her.  She’s lounging on a lounge chair, reading a book on basic private investigation.  She hasn’t told him, right or left, yet.  He doesn’t mind waiting.  He can live a long time on half a million dollars.  

“How long did you give her?”

“Twenty four hours.”

“Give her at least 48.  Maybe even 72.  She might have gotten caught up.”

He shakes his head.  “She got clear.  Her kid texted me.”

“Alright.  If we don’t hear anything, we’ll check out the day after tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.”  He captures some of the rose petals in his hand.

“Will you…will you be miserable, if she doesn’t come?”

He grins over his shoulder at her.  “No.  I won’t be miserable at all.”

She returns his smile, holds up the book.  “Left, then.”

Thanks to @sharkbait77 and everyone who commented and showed support.