#does it say something about how i view myself that im only comfortable posting photos of myself on my sideblog? probably

[butchtranny]

"Hoot," said the owl with his head so white

"a lonesome day and a lonesome night!

Thought I heard some pretty girl say:

Court all night and sleep next day."

"No, no, no." said the turtledove.

"That's no way for to gain her love.

If you want to gain your hearts delight,

Keep her awake both day and night"

~ "The Bird's Courting Song" - Appalachian folk song, specific lyrics from Elizabeth LaPrelle's rendition.

[barzzal]

between halls and thin walls → part four

summary: friends who fool around almost never works. almost.

↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you

↳ warnings: idiots, that’s all <3

↳ genre: fluff, angst, smut, roommates au, best friend’s best friend, friends with benefits, 18+

↳ length: series; part one, part two, part three, part four (6.7k), part five, part six

↳ masterlist: the barn

↳ track: my favorite part by mac miller, addicted by jorja smith, someone to spend time with by los retros

note: finally got myself to update this fic oml zzz quick psa tho, this will now be a six-part series! hope that’s okay and yenno as always, would love to hear what you think about this (validate me in the tags pls im lonely) happy reading babes! <3

“Yo, grandma. Haven’t you had too much tea to drink?” his voice echoes in the room as soon as he walks into it. You carefully set the cup down on the dining table and looked at him exasperatedly. 

“Haven’t you had too much care to give?” you snark back, earning yourself a disappointed look from him. 

“Really, y/n? That’s the best you’ve got?” he shakes his head at your appalling retort.  What a shame.

You were good at pissing him off to be fair. You just weren’t in the mood to throw teases back and forth especially now that you’re feeling particularly vulnerable.

The week has been far too dreadful for you and you know that you’re willing to grovel your way into the weekend to finally have the time to slack off, not worry about taking a bath, and just go crazy with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

However, just like always, Mathew seems to never run out of ways to get on your nerves. 

He carelessly puts his stuff on the table, causing a fairly loud thud on the surface. 

You let out a deep breath, massaging your temple. 

“Somebody’s cranky.” he grins. Not necessarily the kind you’d want to see from him. 

You try to ignore him for a few minutes but you can’t help noticing how his build easily took over much of the space you’ve already been occupying. You irkingly look up at him, closing the book you were reading. You meet Mat’s eyes who just innocently looked back into yours. Waiting. Possibly plotting on yet another sophisticated way to toy with you.

“You’re a child.” you roll your eyes and return to your reading. He says nothing and instead rests his chin atop his enclasped hands, continuing to bother you with his ridiculously beguiling eyes. He presses his lips together before sighing dramatically. 

“What?” you snap, finally shutting your book down as you look at him. 

“I wanna go out.” he looks up at you in an effort to make his huge physique smaller than it really was. 

“Then go out. You’re a big boy.” you breathe. 

“You just said that I’m a child.” he coos, mimicking a five-year-old’s voice. 

“Stop that.” you glare at him. Mat props himself back and laughs, “Come on. I’m bored.” 

You open your book again just as you reply in a tone that Mat’s getting used to hearing. “Boredom doesn’t give you the right to pester me, Barzal.” 

And as an exchange, he speaks in the same tone rather mockingly, “And so is that attitude, Y/L/N.” 

“Come on, y/n. Let’s go out.” he now pleads, looking up at you with what seems to be his worst impression of a ‘puppy eye’.

“Fine.” you finally concede and you see Mat’s beaming smile instantly. 

“Where’d you want to go?” you ask as you take your reading glasses off.

“Dunno.” He shrugs, obviously teasing. 

On the edge of being irritated, you say, “Are you kidding me?”

“Grandma.” he mumbles before saying, “Do you have anything you want to do? And please don’t say book hunt.”

You suppress a smile and maintain your composure. “I’m craving for pancakes right now but I also wanna drink. Go to a bar or something.”

He nods in agreement. Already stitching his game plan.

“We can do both.”  he bobs his all too fine brows.

He didn’t have a hard time getting you on board with his spontaneity. You actually haven’t gone out in a while and the thought of a possible night out doesn’t seem to be so bad of an idea.

You’ve been with Mat to parties and while the two of you don’t mingle as much as the other guys did, he does know his way around the club. The dance floor, however, he tries. He really does.

For about an hour Mathew waited patiently in the living room as he scrolled endlessly on instagram liking a few photos and laughing at posts the fans tag him occasionally. His eyes were peeled away from the screen when he heard the door to your room click. His irises trail onto your body even if he didn’t plan to originally. 

Mathew, albeit dressed simply in his black turtleneck sweater and a beige overcoat exudes just about the right ‘swag’ (as per how he puts it) to stop you in your stupor. Although what you didn’t know was how you weren’t any different in his eyes. You were dressed quite nicely in a black lace bodysuit with a pair of blackpants accentuated by the black boots you usually wear on a night out. Your coat was slung on your forearm whilst you held your clutch purse in your hand so you could close the door with the other. 

“What?” you blink just as you look down to eye yourself. Feeling a tad self-conscious under his gaze.

Mat immediately breaks it off. He clears his throat, pretending to wipe off the non-existent dust on the accent table. 

“What?” he mirrors with an arched brow.

You shrug off his demeanor, snatching your keys from the accent table before putting it in your purse. 

“Have you called a lyft already?” he nods, absentmindedly scratching his temple. 

“You ready? You look— decent.” He says, trying to act casual and distant when he gives you the compliment.

Not noticing the unfamiliar look his eyes had, you return the compliment and say,  “And so do you. Good job for not looking like you came straight out of an H&M catalogue.” you wink at him with a grin. A thing which was then reciprocated by a deadpan look on his end. 

Before he could even come up with yet another clever way to come at you, you start walking towards the door, looking at him once as you motion the way by curling your finger.

“Haul ass, buddy.”

𖥸

10:15 PM 

Mat decided to bring you to the usual place he goes to when he wants to be alone and just enjoy a couple of beers while he chats with River, the bartender he eventually befriends after years spent drinking in solitude. 

The bar had a rustic feel filled with wine barrels in the corner of the room. The seats were leather (mind you, it wasn’t the kind that gets easily worn out through time) and everything looked new to you regardless of all the vintage stuff displayed articulately on the brick wall. A turntable was set on the table stacked with vinyl records, most of which were from the 70s to 80s underneath.

It was obvious that it wasn’t the kind people would know about. Aside from it being located at such a secluded street leading to the suburbs, it wasn’t the type of bar kids would want to hang out in. It only had a few customers and most of them wore suits and came with company. No one really gave a hoot when you walked in with Mathew, aka, the face of the New York Islanders. Which is basically the reason why Mat kept coming back to the place. He felt comfortable and at peace. Almost in retrospect to being at home hanging with his father. 

“I can’t believe this place exists.” you say, mouthing your thanks to River as he hands you both of your drinks. The man that’s definitely aged like fine wine smiles, nodding his head over to Mat who was doing the same before he headed back to mix another set of drinks. 

“Me neither.” he grins, reminiscing about the time he’s found the small pub by accident. 

“This place looks expensive though.” you whisper, making Mathew laugh. 

“Well, it kinda is.” he sheepishly chuckles. “River’s filthy rich.”

“Is he really?” your mouth falls and you look back over the build of the old man. The way his salt and pepper hair was neatly slicked back makes quite a compelling case for what Mat had just said. 

Mat eventually explains who he was. Apparently, he was just another bored fancy man who happened to love making people drop dead and drunk with his over the top mixes. His dark deep set brown eyes are quite of a crowd favourite too. Case in point, the group of ladies seated from across you and Mathew.

“Hey.” you absentmindedly call on Mat who had just sipped on his drink. “I know what we should do.”

“All right.” he puts the glass down, “Lay it on me.”

“Let’s fix you up with one of the girls over there.” you suggest, leaning towards his body so you could get a better view upfront. Mat does not move and instead follows your finger subtly pointing at the other end of the room.

“What’s with the sudden fixation of getting me bagged tonight, huh?” he smirks, shaking his head at the idea of having to go home with some random girl. You give him a side eye as you move away from him. 

“Fixation is an overstatement. We’ll be here long enough for us to get sick of each other.” you explicitly told him. 

Mat eyes you intently. Searching if there was even the slightest doubt in your eyes. 

Long enough to get sick of each other. 

He clears his throat instead and looks across the room. “Which one?”

A gleeful cheer erupts from you just before you look over the girls in question. “What’s your type?” you ask him, not sparing a glance.

Mat looks down on you underneath the bar lights accentuating your features. Your eyes had a certain glint in them that Mat still can’t get a grasp on. Something that was just enough to spark something inside him. He didn’t want to overthink it nonetheless. It must have been just the lights. 

Once Mat sensed that you were about to look at him he immediately turned his gaze forward, squinting his eyes a little pretending to check out the women you’ve been eyeing for the last minute. 

“I don’t really have a type.” he shrugs, casually taking the fragile glass to his mouth. 

You dismiss what he said at once, “Do I look like a child to you? Just answer it.”

Mat shakes his head, “I told you. I don’t have one. If we vibe then we vibe. Simple as that.” 

You did not believe him but you decide to drop it off. Instead, you look back and return to your new found mission. Across the bar, seated were three girls busy talking to each other. 

“Got it.” you tell Mat, nodding your head towards the clueless girl sitting right across from where Mathew was. “The one in the center.” you add. “The one wearing a white bodycon.”

“She’s pretty.” he nods, validating your taste as his potential wingman. “Nice smile.”

Your hand met a firm slap on the table as you went on cheering for him. “Well? Go then!” you give him a nudge, taking it back quickly when you feel a slight hesitation on his part, “Don’t tell me you need me to introduce you?”

He takes the remainder of his glass and shaked off the kick it had in his throat. “You just sit and watch, babe.”

You do as you’re told and lean towards the bar, your elbow carrying all your weight whilst you sip on your half-full martini. 

Mathew’s stance and the way he carries himself immediately caused the girls to notice him coming. Of course, you weren’t really surprised. You watch him approach her,– reading along the words leaving his mouth. There was an exchange of proper ‘hello’s’ as Mat introduced himself to the girls. He reaches out his hand and the curly noirette in the center gives him a firm shake. 

Mat’s eyes momentarily locked with yours just as you see their hands linger in the air— tangled long enough for him to make a quick segway. He winks your way as he sees you grin from your seat, shaking your head just after you felt the need to take a deep breath. A thing you assumed to be because of the drink. So, while Mat leads the girl to one of the empty booths and sits across from her, you call on River and ask for another drink. 

Mathew must have lost track of time by the second drink he shared with Zoe. He learns that she’s from upstate and was just on the island to visit her friends. She’s still working on her major at NYU; coincidentally in the same field as Lianna so that was one of the things they’ve talked about first hand. She wasn’t really into sports so Mat steered clear of his job because he didn’t want to bore her. 

“So…” Zoe smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. “What’s the deal with you and the girl you’re with?” 

By the time she asked about you, only then did Mat remember who he was originally with. 

“Oh! She’s—” he looks over to where you’re seated only to find you laughing— no giggling with a man that was obviously a few years older than you. He’s wearing a neat black suit and a button down shirt with a couple of its first buttons opened. Zoe sees him frown, evidently losing his train of thought. 

She calls him with her sweet voice, “Mat?” 

“Yeah?” he absentmindedly answers, not wanting to take his eyes off of your hand that was now gently pushing the man’s arm whilst the two of you continue to burst into laughter. 

“Are you okay?” she asks.

What’s so funny? 

Finally, Mat hears Zoe’s distant voice that eventually took him back to his seat.

“Oh. Y-Yeah.” he apologetically smiles. “Sorry. What were you saying again?” 

She hesitates to ask about you after taking a quick glance your way upon seeing the way Mathew looked at you. Nevertheless, she decides to go for it.

“Aren’t you two together? I don’t want to come off strong here or anything. It’s just that I don’t want to get in between something if there ever is.” 

Mat looks at you one more time and as if you’ve felt his eyes all along you turn your way and meet his gaze. You shoot him a quiet smile, eyeing the guy sitting beside you, mouthing what he assumes to be an exaggerated “So hot!” on your end. He reciprocates your smile and gives you an approving nod.

Once you looked away, that’s the only time Mat finally answered the woman waiting patiently for his attention. 

“What?” Mat shakes his head wildly, blowing out air off his lips defensively. “No no no. We’re just friends. She’s my roommate actually.” he shrugs you off his mind and instead tries to put his entire focus on her. 

The remaining hours were spent with you and Mat getting along with your respective potential hook-ups. Not that it wasn’t the endgame either of you were hoping for at the back of your minds. 

He’s got to admit that Zoe was the kind of girl he’d be interested in. Another fact he’s kept a mental tab not to mention to you because he knows you’ll just get cocky. 

She was sweet and obviously eloquent. He knows she’s way smarter than he’ll ever be. But out of all those qualities, she was just as passionate at her craft as someone he likes to think he knows well enough. And that alone made a small smile creep on his lips. 

Nonetheless, despite all the aforementioned, Mathew found himself a bit more reserved than he usually is whenever he gets to meet and talk to his potential ‘lady friends’ as how you’ve put it countless times. He just wasn’t his exact self.  And he was beginning to question it. 

There were no fancy hockey plays thrown subtly into the conversation. Neither mentions of golfing nor over the top league events.  No butchered french pet names swiftly tucked in his sentences. And no endless questions that would eventually lead to something along the lines of ‘Do you want to get out of here?’

Well, not until Zoe’s friends got up their seats and she told him herself. 

“Hey. The girls and I are meeting up with some friends in Brooklyn. D’ya wanna come?” 

Mat’s eyes trail down to her hand now gently caressing his. He raises both his brows thinking of a possible ‘out’ because he wasn’t sure if it was a smart thing to leave you alone with a stranger. 

He hums, “Sure.” 

Zoe shows him a delighted smile before eventually sliding out of the booth to walk towards the bar she and her friends were formally seated. 

“I gotta use the restroom first. Please excuse me.” she gives him a nod before going back to chatting with her friends. 

You, on the other hand, see Mat leave the table aiming for an archway you presume to be where the loo was. 

“Hey,” you call the man whose name you’ve already forgotten. Your pause was long enough for him to acknowledge the chances that you actually did forget who he was. Obviously.

“Chris.” The man in his early 30s answers with a submitting grin. 

You shyly laugh, squeezing his forearm as you try to apologize for forgetting. 

“Would you mind if I use the restroom?” you politely ask. 

“No, not at all.” he replies and immediately stands to help you get on your feet. Gentleman. 

Once you are in front of the men’s room, you anxiously wait for your wingman. You hug your purse close to your chest. Not a whole minute after, the door finally opens and you meet Mat’s irises with quite a gleeful look. 

A look he wasn’t a fan of for he knew what’s about to come next. 

“Are you taking off?” you eagerly ask, almost hopping on your feet. 

Mat eyes you from head to toe, looking for signs that would stink from a drunk y/n. When he sees none, that’s when he decides to say that he was. 

“Mkay good. I’ll be on my way too. Chris is taking me to New Jersey.” you tell him, briefly looking through the archway to see if there were people listening.

Once you know you’re clear, you lean towards Mat, your lips dangerously close to the sensitive skin of his ear. Mat feels your heated breath sending a familiar tingle up his spine. “I’ll get to ride a yacht tonight.” you bite your lower lip and giddily smile as if you were a cheeky 16 year-old usually depicted in a coming of age movie. 

“Who’s Chris?” Mat, in spite of taking rounds observing you all night, finds the need to ask. “And why are you coming with him to NJ?” he further questions. 

“Uh– okay, dad.” you step back for a second. You let out a scoff, checking if he was being serious about it. “I thought we’re supposed to go get laid tonight? Weren’t you about to take off with that girl yourself?” 

Mat averts your gaze and starts to scratch the corner of his brow. “Well yeah. It’s just that— he looks sketchy.” he pauses, “plus… isn’t he a little too old for you?” 

You roll your eyes as you’ve already expected to hear the words from him. 

“He’s 31. He’s not that old.” you say rather defensively so you turn the ball back on his court. “And what if he was?  Didn’t you ask one of the moms out??”

Mat’s eyes widens and you try to bite back a laugh. He whispers with a biting tone, trying to save himself. “She didn’t look like one! I’m gonna kill Beau I swear to god.”

“Come on Barz. Don’t be such a killjoy. Text me if you need anything, okay? Wrap things up while you’re at it.” you say at once. Mat doesn’t get the chance to talk you out of such a stupid idea because before he even could, you’ve already planted a kiss on his cheek and started walking away. 

Mat waited for the sound of the heavy doors of the bar, signaling that you and your friend have gone, before stepping back to where Zoe was. She waves him near the coat closet. 

“Hi.” Mat greets her friends before eventually turning his attention on the unsuspecting lass. She meets her with a smile (just like what she’s been doing all night). The same smile, however, drops the second Mat opens his mouth. “Can I talk to you for a sec?” 

Zoe nods and willfully abides, letting Mat take her gently by the arm. 

“What’s up?” she innocently asks. 

“Something came up.” he says a little too fast than what he’d originally intended. He was going to let her down either way might as well get it over with and rip up the asshole band-aid. 

“Oh.” she says in a tone Mat knew that she completely understood. 

“No worries.” she looks at him with a knowing look in her eyes. “I’ll see you around then.” 

He gives her a kind smile and nods. “Take care.” 

Mathew walks towards the bar, catching River’s teasing grin whilst he cleans up after the bottles left on the center of the counter. 

“What?” Mat reacts defensively, taking a seat in front of the lone bartender. River faintly shakes his head to leave just enough curiosity in Mathew’s mind. 

“You’re such a tool, old man.” the kid says aiming for the cold beer River has put away for himself. River did not mind because he’s grown fond of the star player for the past years he’s spent going on late night drinks at his bar. Years that even justifies a proper amount of time for him to know the in’s and out’s of one Mathew Barzal. 

“I haven’t said a thing.” he shrugs amidst the already wide grin on his face. 

There’s wisdom in his eyes that Mathew has always admired. He wasn’t the guy who’d want to talk about what’s going on inside his head but with how River’s pub seems to be just the right place, he eventually concedes and takes a shot to pick on the old man’s brain.

“Come on, spill it out. I know you’re going to anyway.” Mat gives in, running his thumb on the moist label of the bottle. 

River wipes his hands before resting it atop the counter. “Well, it’s just that– I ain’t used to seeing you turn down ladies like that too often. And you’re definitely not one to stick around watching me clean up.”

Mat stays silent for a moment, as if to gather the exact reason as to why he chose to stay. He still has a long way to go before figuring that one out. He wasn’t exactly as sharp as he was on the ice.

“I don’t know, man.” he chuckles tirelessly, “I guess I wasn’t in the mood. That’s all.”

“You?” River shots a brow and dismisses him, shaking his head. When Mat doesn’t answer, he carefully picks on his choice of words and lays it down carefully for him. After all, Mathew should have known that River was old enough to not know what’s going on.

“Though I gotta be honest with you, hijo. Never imagined you’d bring someone here.” he starts. 

What must have been a shot in the dark for the old man was just enough to tear Mathew’s eyes away from staring at the water beads on the bottle.

“What?”

“The girl, Barz.” he says, banging on the head of the bottle to knock the cap off. “She a friend?” 

“What? Y/N?” Mat quirks his brows trailing off where River was exactly headed, “What about her?— Oh, her? Yeah, no. She’s just a friend.”

“She pretty.” he speaks in a sound accent, not wanting to let Mat know he’s growing to like catching the young lad off guard. Mathew nods casually despite the continuous blabbering. “She’s y/n. But yeah— I guess, she is pretty.” 

“Then what are you doing being just friends with a pretty girl?” River inquires, taking a sip of his beer. When he sees him trying to register what he’d just said he then adds, “Why not be with her? Date her?”

“Psh. What? Date y/n? That’s crazy.” Mat shakes his head furiously, “You’re crazy.” 

“What’s so crazy about that?” River takes offense, laughing at the child’s naivete. 

“I can’t date her. I mean— I won’t date her.” he takes the bottle to his mouth, taking a large gulp before continuing, “We’re in this weird relationship thing. A setup, actually, and it’s— it’s crazier than dating her. I swear, you of all people won’t get it.” 

“What makes you think I can’t?” he smirks, “I’ve had my fair share of crazy.” River points out despite the hesitation in Mat’s eyes. “I got all night, kid.” he adds, letting him have the floor to himself. 

“You really want in on this?” he second guesses, not wanting to bore the man with his personal life.

River leans against the brass counter just below the lit rack of vintage scotch displayed on the bar. He then gestures him to give a piece of his mind and Mat finally submits to his offer.

“We’ve been in a few… prior engagements,” he starts trying to find the appropriate word. “Well, sort of.”

River hums, not necessarily getting on the same page as him so he decides to be upfront about it.

“We’ve… slept together.” he confesses.

“So you used to date her?” the old man asks. 

“No.” he answers, “I told you we’re just friends.” 

With furrowed brows, River takes a minute. And once Mat hears an all too familiar “Oh.” he sees him break a chuckle, shaking his head at the thought of what Mat had just told him. “You kids have way too much fun these days.”

Mathew shrugs, “Hey, I warned you. Told you you wouldn’t get it.”

“Okay, make me understand something here. You two sleep together, fool around, do all that shit.” he says, “and you swear you’re not in a relationship?”

“Nope.” Mat answers with pride, popping out the word with a hard ‘p’.

“Huh.” River clicks his tongue, “How long have you two been… engaged?” 

He rolls his eyes when River uses his word, “About two months.” he answers shortly.

“Is she seeing anyone since you two started this thing? You know, casual dates, the ones I presume she’s been getting before you got her into this mess?” he asks him in a tone that only fathers would ever dare to use.

Mat thinks for a moment, trying to recall the last time he’s seen a guy pick you up for dinner besides the old man you’ve successfully bagged for the night. He firmly shakes his head no and simply says, “At least not in my recollection.”

River willfully nods, walking Mat right into the trap. “Well have you been seeing anyone lately?” he asks again, this time slipping a hint of assertion. He hears a crystal clear ‘no’ from the forward and that’s when he broke a goading grin. 

“And you’re telling me you two aren’t together?” he asks yet again, getting on Mat's nerves as he continues to flood him with biting queries, building up the final point he was about to break on Mathew.

“Rivs, for the hundredth time, no. We are not.” he clarifies. 

Mat watches River pour himself a glass of scotch, still wearing a smug grin. “Imma give you a piece of advice, yeah?” he smiles rather teasingly and doesn’t wait for Mat to rebut, “I’m a happily married man so I don’t know a single squat about dating nowadays, but if you’re telling me that you kids aren’t sleeping with anyone else but yourselves? Looks like a damn relationship to me.”

With his brows all quirked in confusion (and denial in the very least), Mathew gathers all his might just so he could refute whatever madness River was trying to inflict on him and screw him up in the head. But before he could even open his mouth, the sound of the heavy doors was all it took to tear up both River’s and Mat’s attention.

“Hi.” you say the moment you were welcomed by unsuspecting men talking by the bar. River acknowledges you by raising his drink, his gaze landing on Mat the moment yours did. 

“Hi.” Mathew mirrors you in an attempt to drown his already racing heart. A smile impending to break loose at any moment but he manages to suppress it. Instead of dealing with his adrenaline, he gestures for you to take a seat beside him. 

“Where’s the sugar daddy?” he laughs the moment you drag yourself from across the room, mocking every word he said. 

“His wife called when I got into his car.” you cringe.

“Oof. Lovely.” Mat makes the distinct expression on his face just before the two of you share a laugh.

“He’s not very smooth with adultery. He needs more practice.” you casually state sarcastically, clicking your tongue. 

As you find the narrative funny, you take a sip on Mathew’s beer. “How are you not drunk? You’ve been drinking way too much the entire night.”

“Well. I’ve got some things to think about—” he cuts himself off upon seeing your mouth ajar, “And no, you’re not allowed to ask because none of it concerns you.” 

“I wasn’t going to.” you dismiss him, excusing yourself to River which he gladly took as his cue to leave.

When he disappeared into the kitchen, you turned your gaze on your friend wearing another one of your mischievous grins, “Hey, wanna get pancakes?” 

“Y/N, it’s almost 3 AM.” Mat sighs, the tiring night starting to creep up to him. 

“So?” you question, swatting his hand away when you catch him checking on his watch. 

“Come on. Stop drinking that.” you insist and take the bottle from his hand before putting it over to the side. 

The two of you said your goodbyes to the lone bartender who was just starting to clean up again. River gives the two of you a nod of acknowledgement before landing a knowing look on Mathew. One that he’s thankful enough not to be discerned by you. 

As you walk alongside Mathew, he unconsciously places a hand on the small of your back— feeling it graze on the fabric of your coat as if to guide you towards the door in an almost romantic type of way. Perhaps, a way someone would behave if they were actually in a relationship. 

Mat notices your body tense but he doesn’t move an inch. Instead, his hand travels to the curve of your waist just as he leads you through the brass doors.

Once you’re out on the streets, he lets go.

𖥸

After almost half an hour of fighting over which diner is better to eat and get sober at, you and Mat decide to just try the new diner three blocks from your apartment. Being that it was an ungodly hour, the diner was good as closed when you got in. There were a few people inside and besides the student studying alone in the corner booth, the people lounging in the vacant seats were mostly just staff. Too bad they had to work the grave shift.

Mathew, who was rather preoccupied digging in his breakfast platter, gets interrupted when you call his attention. 

“So tell me,” you ask as you take a forkful of syrupy pancake into your mouth. Finally satisfying your cravings. You put the food modestly in the insides of your cheeks when you ask him a question, “What are you like on dates?” 

Mat disgustingly looks at you. You easily get what such a look meant and you immediately roll your eyes. You let your hand fall in mid-air amidst still holding a fork in it to prove a point. “I’m not trying to ask you out, dumbass. Don’t be so delusional.”

He puts his silverware down and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Why the sudden interest?” 

“Just curious.” you simply say.

He hums, thinking about how he pulls off a first date. He then clears his throat as he takes you down that road. “First, I’m not bringing her to a 24/7 Diner.” you nearly gag. “She deserves a formal one just in case there won’t be a second date.” he explains. 

You sit there, nodding your head every now and then as he further goes on the details of how he’s like on a date. “Of course, I’d put my best foot forward all the time. Talk about her stuff more than mine and make sure she has a good time.” 

“Have you ever had a bad first date?” you curiously ask. To which he only answers with a stubborn look on his face, the one only Mat Barzal could pull off. “What? me? I don’t do bad first dates.”

“Oh, fuck off.” you flick his forehead as you laugh. The sound of his laughter echoing in your ears, drowning all the existing noise inside the lone diner.

But as the laughter dies down, Mat catches your eyes as soon as it falls on his. And just like that, there it was again, the exact same glint it had back in the bar. This time, illuminated by the pink shaded light lining up the wall accents of the diner. 

When he realizes that he’s been staring for too long, he settles on turning the tables on you. 

“How about you?” he props in his seat, “What are you like on dates?”

“You know, apart from the fact that you’re obviously into old men.” he snickers and you throw a curly fry on his forehead.

“Excuse me, I don’t.” you say sticking up for yourself.

Mat takes the curly fry that has fallen on his plate and proceeds to eat it. “Sure you do.” 

You roll your eyes, finding it hard to suppress the fact that you might actually do. “There’s a reason why women like old men, chico.”

He leans back and answers with a level headed and quite teasing reply, “And why’s that?”

“Because they’re men.” you look at him with a jerky grin as you continue, “And men, especially of River’s kind, definitely knows how to eat his french fry.”

Mat’s mouth falls wide in disbelief, appalled that you’ve actually found a way to pick up a stone and throw it straight to his face just to rub more salt on the fact that you had to teach a 23-year-old grown man how to eat cunt.

 “You’re an ass.” he says, rolling his eyes. You let out a laugh and shake your head. You were proud of yourself, sure; but showing just that is far too much for a boy’s already hurting ego. Who would have known humbling this man was such a task. 

“I’m playing! You know how to now.” you tell him, “Thanks to me, of course.”

He scoffs and takes a bite off his pancakes, “Cocky.”

“But you still haven’t answered my question.” he reminds you whilst he wipes off his lips with a napkin. 

“There’s not much to tell. You know I’m not high maintenance.” you tell him, ignoring the fact that you haven’t been on an actual date for so long you’re almost sure you’ve forgotten how to be in one. 

“I know it’s cheesy and corny but I do think it’s still in the littlest things, you know?” you sigh. Trying to remember the last relationship (date even) you had wherein those little things, the ones that are merely the bare minimum, were actually given to you. 

“You know, it’s not much, really. Maybe just a good talk without having to watch him watch me talk all night when he’s really thinking about how I’d look naked, you know what I mean?” you laugh it off, “I know, it’s stupid.”

The arrogant man sitting before you was silent for once, profusely wanting to wash the pool of melancholy he sees in your eyes. There must have been a shit ton of guys who overlooked how great of a woman you actually are just because they couldn’t stop thinking with the head in between their legs even just for a second. 

Mathew knows. And he hates that he’s been ‘that’ guy at some point. Probably until now considering him thinking with his balls on was the very thing that got the two of you here in the first place.

You take a deep breath, smiling. “Anyway, that’s better than almost getting with a married man. Right?”

“Right.” Mat laughs, his gray eyes bright under all the lights as he plays with his silverware,— devoid of how much he looked like as if he was utterly and undeniably in awe of not just the energy of the woman sitting in front of him alone nor the fact that she was by far the most unbelievable woman he’s known, but most importantly, he’s yet to realize how much in deep he’s beginning to be for the woman she actually were. 

Just as she is. 

𖥸

You left the diner a good hour before the sunrise and what must have been a quick five minute drive if you had only taken a cab, became a twenty minute foot race between you and Mathew.

You knew that walking was a bad idea but somehow, Mat’s charm and persuasive antics had a better hold than you thought you had on your very capable cognition. 

As you drag your feet into the confines of the elevator in your complex, you hear Mathew chuckling behind you with a firm hand securely placed on your waist supporting your balance. 

“You know— and not just ‘cause I’m an athlete, can I just say that you’re in a very bad shape?” he says almost a whisper in your ear, his voice low and deep.

You roll your eyes, leaning on the steel cold mirror once he pulls away, “You do it in heels then tell me who’s in a bad shape.” 

“Fair point.” he chuckles yet again, shying away. He presses the number for your floor before resting across from you. As Mat watches you catch your breath, he jokes in the hopes of breaking the ice between the two of you. 

“So…” he clicks his tongue, playful eyes looking at you, “Wanna tap?”

Disgusted to your very core, you let out a scoff just as you shake your head. “You’re fucking sick.” you laugh upon meeting his dumb grinning face. Seconds into laughter, Mat’s silence kills off the humor. The two of you exchange glances, the smiles on your faces receding into quietude. 

Mathew didn’t want to end the night letting you in the apartment not knowing what he’s been feeling the moment you’ve let him drag you out for an impromptu night out. And stupid as it was, the only thing he could think of was to slide his foot across the enclosed space embracing the two of you, nudging on your boot. You on the one hand were rather puzzled as to what caused such language. You send him a mental query by arching a brow. He lets his head fall back on the cold metal surrounding the elevator finally deciding to speak his truth.

 “I’m glad we get to hang out now. You know, just like friends do.” he genuinely says. 

“Me too.” you say, smiling. “I really had fun tonight. Thank you.”

As you meet his eyes, you see a glimmer of softness in his gaze. 

“Good thing I got bored, eh?” he says with a smirk. 

“Good thing I came back for you.” you reply.

A quiet smile parts from his lips.

“Yeah. I’m glad you did.”

It was a few seconds when you and Barzy parted from your respective walls to meet the sliding doors as it opened on your designated floor. You were pulling him closer by the tie of his coat whilst his hand was instinctively placed on your hips letting him press his body on you. Your faces were inches from each other’s, evident of not wanting to prolong the totally unplanned foreplay that’s about to go down in a communal lift. 

But just like every film you’ve watched your whole life, the inevitable cliché befalls the two of you when the next words that filled the enclosed walls you’re currently caged in came from the man who has yet to miss a morning jog. 

“What the hell is going on here?”

[13lov]

lucy (m)

pairing: pornstar!taehyung, tattooed!taehyung x pornstar!reader

genre: pornstar au, humor, smut, light f2l, angst if you squint.

word count: 8,305

summary: after reading a few more titles of the videos you’ve uploaded, taehyung has come to the conclusion that you’re the hottest fucking dumbass he’s ever seen and so desperately wants to fuck.

warning(s): smut (masturbation, sex toys, unprotected sex, fingering, creampies ; mention of: face fucking, squirting, gxg), !ENDGAME SPOILERS!.

a/n: inspired by that video of taehyung with the fake tattoos…good lord… sorry i posted this later than i said i would, some stuff came up :( not proofread so i apologize for mistakes.

With one final thrust into the petite girl beneath him, Taehyung was fast to pull his dick completely out of her with the sigh of relief. Sure, he sighed because it was in the script, but he would’ve done it even if it weren’t apart of the porno.

He flopped on the bed, right next to the girl who was playing the role of his horny step-sister. He visualized the script in his head, and waited a few seconds before turning to his co-star and saying, “I gave you what you wanted, now, can I have my skateboard back?”

“AND CUT!” the director yells, standing up from his chair across the room. Taehyung’s manager, Seokjin, enters the set with a bathrobe in one hand and water bottle in the other and hands Tae both. “Everyone did a great job today! Remember to report back here tomorrow at two for the promo shoot, got it?!” the director asks, and everyone confirms they’ll be there.

Taehyung stands up from the messy bed to put on his bathrobe while his former co-star, Rosie, covers herself in the sheets. ‘If you’re so fucking shy, why are you doing porn?’Taehyung thinks to himself, annoyed.

“You did really good, I enjoyed it. And, you’re an amazing actor. Not many stars are good at acting, but you are.” Rosie compliments sweetly and Taehyung feels bad for what he originally thought of her.

“Thanks,” is all he can say to her because (1) he can’t compliment her back because it would be a lie and there’s no need for that, (2) he’s not interested in talking to her, and (3) he’s ready to head back to his trailer and take a shower. “See you tomorrow,” he adds, because he doesn’t want to seem like one of those stuck-up pornstars he hates so badly.

He then leaves the rented airbnb home and takes the quick walk to his trailer with Jin right by his side. “What’d you think?” Taehyung asks.

Seokjin makes a face as he thinks of an answer. “It was…decent. Not your best.”

Tae scoffed, offended, “It wasn’t my porn, I’m only here to get her some clout. You think I enjoy wasting my time with newbies when I could be with a professional? Hell no!” his rant goes on as he approaches his white trailer, opening the door and holding it so Jin can walk in first (because he’s polite like that).

“Then why film with newbies when you hate it so much? Oh wait, because their team is willing to pay big money for the number one pornstar on ‘nexxxtdoor.com’. That’s why.” Seokjin stated once he entered the trailer and sat on the white couch, Taehyung following shortly behind.

Jin was right, Tae was the number one star on the number one porn site in the country. Maybe people were drawn to his blonde mullet that was usually accompanied by one of his many headbands, or maybe it was the floral tattoos decorated nicely across his neck that drove people crazy. But it was probably just the plain old fact that Taehyung was hot, had a pretty dick, and knew how to use it.

“You’re damn right about that,” Tae says, stripping himself of his bathrobe and little clothing. He doesn’t bother to lock to door of the trailer or even cover himself up in front of Seokjin; everyone had already seen him naked, all boundaries have burned down.

“God, I’m so hot,” Jin says suddenly, and Taehyung looks over to see his manager has moved to stand directly in front of the mirror above the couch, looking directly at his reflection. “Maybe I should start doing porn just to give you a run for your money.”

“Ha!” Taehyung laughs, walking to the standing shower and turning on the hot water. “As gorgeous as you are, I’m a pretty tough guy to beat. Aren’t those two guys still fighting for second place? What are their names?” Taehyung snaps his fingers as tried to remember the names of the two porn stars fighting for second place like a bunch of losers.

“Suga, and uh, that Jimin guy. But they actually dropped a few places…” Seokjin’s tone changed, he seemed nervous.

“Oh, yeah?” Tae asked, stepping into the hot shower, “Have people finally gotten bored of them?” He grabs the white bar of soap from its appropriate holder and begins to cleanse himself, starting off with his neck and shoulders.

“Not exactly, people still like them, there’s just this…uh…”

“Spit it out, Jin.” Taehyung demands, moving the bar of soap down to his chest and belly. Small, white bubbles form at the surface but are quickly washed away with the water pouring down from the shower head.

“There’s this new girl who’s going viral really quick; she’s number two.” Jin admits with a nervous cough.

“A girl,” Taehyung repeats, “I like girls. She must be pretty good if she’s growing so quickly.” It’s true; (Taehyung does indeed like girls) it took Tae two years to become number one on nexxxtdoor, so whoever was able to pass stars as good as Jimin and Suga in such a short amount of time had to be fucking amazing.

“She sure is…something. Her name is ‘Lucy Fer’; look her up when you get home. But, yeah, I’m off to go pick up your next script; see you later.” Jin leaved without another word, and Taehyung is still in the shower.

“Lucy Fer…” he repeats in a whisper, “Lucy Fer…”

Taehyung does as he’s told later that night and types in the name of his possible nemesis on nexxtdoor.com. He clicks the little arrow and the search results pop up in a matter of seconds; your channel popping up in full display.

LUCY FER  ✓ @lucy_fer im basically a youtuber that taker her clothes off hehe </3 4.7M Subscribers | 192 Videos | Joined 1 Year Ago

Taehyung is confused by your biography, but decides he’ll find out what you mean after looking at some of your videos. And, just by the titles alone, he can see why so many people enjoy watching you:

FUCKING MYSELF WITH A DILDO WHILE I THINK ABOUT MY FUCKBOY EX :( 1,343,400 views

FAILED MATH CLASS BUT I STILL KNOW HOW TO SQRT **NOT CLICKBAIT** 3,473,621 views

ex bf fucks my face while frank ocean plays in my airpod$!!# (ft. namjoooooon) 2,372,084 views

After reading a few more titles of the videos you’ve uploaded, Taehyung has come to the conclusion that you’re the hottest fucking dumbass he’s ever seen and so desperately wants to fuck.

It’s weird for him to feel desperate for the girl literally coming for his career, especially when he hadn’t even seen you in action yet. And for that reason, he doesn’t like you. Does he think you’re hot? Yes. Does he want to fuck you? Of course. Does he dislike you? Actually, yes, but only becaus you’re

He sighed, straightening up in his desk chair as he kept his eyes on the illuminated screen in front of him. Curiosity got the best of him and soon enough, he was scrolling past all of your videos until he gets to your very first one:

GIRL GETS SUPER WET AFTER FEELING APPRECIATED 15,192,604 views

He notices that in every thumbnail, you’re wearing a pair of red devil horns and when you’re very rarely accompanied by someone else, they’re also wearing their own set of horns, identical to yours. Even in your display picture, it’s an up-close photo of you, your hair is down and it’s dripping wet, the devil horns are on full display, and your tongue is stuck out with a lit lighter dangerously close to it.

You’re the devil. Satan. Lucifer. Lucy Fer and oh, he finally understands your stage name.

He smiles lightly and shakes his head in realization. Taehyung’s about to close the laptop and call it a night - he has a long day tomorrow - but, he decides just watching oneof videos wouldn’t hurt. I mean, you are his competition, right? He has to see why you’re so popular.

Taehyung scrolls for a few seconds before clicking on a video titled “masturbating and crying about how broke i am (ft. namjoon aka my ex bf lol)“.

The video buffers quickly, taking Taehyung by surprise. For some reason he pauses it, grabs his laptop whole, and makes his way over to his king-sized bed. He tells himself it’s because he’s going to fall asleep afterwards, but he knows that he’s retreated to the bed for other reasons.

Once he’s in a comfortable position with the Macbook in front of him, Tae finally hits the triangle-shaped button and the video plays.

Your bed and pillows are the only thing in the frame at first, then you step in and sit on the edge of the bed. You’re wearing a red skater skirt that’s a tad bit short, a lacy, black bralette, and your signature devil horns.

You stare at the camera in silence for awhile and Taehyung wonders when you’re finally gonna get down to business. That’s when the camera suddenly zooms in on your face, on the single tear that comes from your left eye and makes its way down your cheek.

"Oh,” Tae says, shocked. He wasn’t actually expecting you to cry, though the title said you would.

The camera zooms from out of your face and goes back to the full body shot of you on the bed. “Why the fuck am I so broke?” you ask, there’s a smile on your face, but another tear slips from your eyes. Taehyung then decides for himself that you are a fucking maniac.

With the way the video is edited, Tae feels like he’s watching one of those popular YouTubers; like Emma Chamberlin or Antonia Garza. Your bio had described you perfectly: you truly were just a YouTuber who took her clothes off, and everyone (including Taehyung) loved it. It was a great idea on your part, since literally no one else made homemade porn the way you did.

With you, it felt so natural and relatable and not at all like the washed-up pornstars that came before you. Your viewers loved you, and they were so attached to you. Though you considered yourself to be just another lost, twenty-three year old, your viewers thought you were perfect because of how honest you are. Being so close to them, you didn’t even mind when they called you Y/N, your real name.

Even at times when you weren’t uploading videos or going live on nexxxtdoor, you held a PG-13 rated Instagram live that allowed you to speak to your supporters on a less intense platform.

You were thankful for them, and they were thankful for you.

In the screen in front of him, Taehyung watches and listens as you talk about your card getting declined at Starbucks as you unclasp your bra. You pull the black straps down slowly until they completely fall off your arms, your boobs spilling out nicely. Your nipples are hard because of how cold it is in your apartment, but you let the people watching think it’s because you’re horny.

Though only the top half of your body is bare, Taehyung still admires you. Many of the girls had had worked with had fake boobs or a fake ass for the most part, not that it was a bad thing, it was just nice to see something he wasn’t used to.

You’re complaining again, this time about how you received a parking ticket that morning and you have no clue how you’re gonna pay for it with the amount of student debt you’re in. With a sigh, you wipe away another pathetic tear before turning on all fours with your ass in view of the camera; the black thong underneath your skirt hardly hiding anything.  

Your hand reaches under your pillow and pulls out a white vibrator. It looks dull and worn out, but no one really expecting you to have a top of the line one that costs $100.

“The police officer that gave me the ticket was pretty hot, though,” you say whilst getting into your original position on the bed. Taehyung then pauses the video, not because you’ve done anything wrong, but because he’s now realizing his hand had slipped past his pajama pants and he had began to palm himself through his boxers.

He can’t jerk off to the enemy, it’d only give you more power. But, he can follow the enemy on Instagram.

So he does exactly that.

lucy_fer is live…come watch!

The little banner pops up on Taehyung’s screen, staying for a few seconds before disappearing in his notifications tab. He considers the tempting invitation as he stares at the YouTube video that had been playing before being interrupted.

Sure, it was just an Instagram live and it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if he watched. But, what if you thought otherwise? What if you thought he was only watching just so he could scope out his competition?

“Screw it,” Tae mumbled before pulling down his notifications bar and clicking on the Instagram banner. It loaded within a few seconds and soon enough, Taehyung’s presence had been announced in the stream.

k.taehyung has joined.

But your face was turned elsewhere, talking to someone who was out of view of the camera. Secretly, Tae was hoping you’d turn back in time to acknowledge that fact that he was watching. And, much to his luck, you turned back towards the camera just as his was going away.

“Three hundred already?” you asked, watching the view count go up. “You guys must be bored.”

nam_joonie yep. why dont u take that shirt off and put on a show.

You read your ex-boyfriend’s comment with a sigh, leaning back on your couch as more comments from new viewers filled the screen. “You all know Namjoon,” you said to the viewers, grabbing the cup filled with water that stood on the coffee table next to your propped up phone. “I apologize that my ex is such a perv.” You took a sip of your drink as you roommate, Jennie, leaned into the frame to read a comment that caught her interest.

pinkszn.lisa girl fuck your ex, kim taehyung is here

Once Jennie read the comment out loud the water in your mouth was done for with the way you had begun to cough it up in shock.

You had heard of Taehyung, of course, and it was a surprise enough when he followed you on Instagram a few hours ago. He was intimating, to say the least, with his tattoos and blonde mullet and headbands and…wow. In fact, he was so intimidating, you hadn’t even watched any of his pornos. You knew he was good at his craft and didn’t need to watch any of his stuff to prove it.

When you were able to finally catch your breath, you turned to Jennie, shaking your head in shock. “Stop lying,” you choked out.

Seeing this as a second opportunity from hod himself to make his presence known, Taehyung typed out a comment.

k.taehyung hi hahaha

Rainbow hearts continued to fill up the screen as you read Tae’s comment whith wide eyes. He was actually here, watching you awkwardly get choked up over him.

“Taehyung!” you said suddenly, probably a little too excited. You cleared your throat as a way to calm down, “I…we…” nervously, you looked towards Jennie with a desperate facial expression that yelled ‘help me’.

“Why don’t you…guest him?” Jennie suggested.

“Oh, yes! Can I guest you, Taehyung?” You asked hopefully, though you already had requested for him to join before he could process what was going on. Sitting up on his couch, he looked down at the floor where his housemates Jungkook and Hoseok were sat in front of the television watching whatever sports game was on.

Of course Taehyung could afford to live alone, but these truly were his best friends.

“I’m about to go live. Try not to talk too much.” he said.

“That was a terrible pass,” Jeongguk said to Hoseok, clearly ignoring Taehyung’s request as he kept his eye on the basketball game. “I could pass better than that.”

Hoseok shakes his head, grabbing a few pieces of buttery popcorn that sat in the bowl on his lap. “You can’t even play basketball that good.”

“My point exactly! I could pass better than Williamson and I’m not even good at basketball; that’s tragic.”

With an eyeroll, Taehyung accepts the request to appear in your stream and gets himself in position with his phone camera, taking off his thick, clear glasses only momentarily to properly capture his face in the frame. Seconds later, the stream connect and he appears on the bottom half of the screen with you on top.

You open your mouth in shock once Taehyung is on screen then bring an arm to cover your eyes. “Woah, Taehyung! No shirt?!”

“Woah, Y/N, no bra?” he fired back, pointing out the obvious fact that your nipples were clearly hard under the thin, white shirt you wore. To anyone watching, they could easily mistake the two of you for lifelong friends with the way you were comfortable enough to joke around like this.

Or maybe it was just cheesy pornstar humor.

Slowly, you brought your forearm down from your eyes and got a good luck at Taehyung. He was indeed topless, flower tattoos on full display along with the gold chain that hung loosely around neck. He was a gorgeous sight, to say the least, and it’s no wonder why so many people enjoyed seeing him preform such filthy acts on his partners; never the same person twice, but always getting them to cum more than once.

You then realize this is your first time getting at good look at Tae’s face, other than the few Instagram photos you skimmed through when he followed you the day before. You also then realize you’d been staring at him in awkward silence since you brought your arm away.

You clear your throat, “touché. It’s nice to, like, see you for the first time.”

Taehyung raises a brow, had you never watched any of his stuff? He wants to ask, but also doesn’t want to seem cocky; it’s not like you were obligated to watch his pornos.

He decides to ask, the curiosity is killing him.

“I’m guessing that means you haven’t seen my stuff…” he says.

Now you’re embarrassed and wish you could go back in time and never make that comment about seeing him for thee first time. But you can’t, all you can do is shake your head and say, “I’m sorry, I don’t watch porn.”

“You’re the second most watched pornstar in the country and you don’t even watch porn?” he asks, confused.

You realize how stupid you sound and become embarrassed again. “Wait, no! Not like that, I mean. I watch my own stuff and I have some friends who do porn and I watch them…but that’s for support. I don’t get off to them or anything. Not because I can’t! I just…don’t want to…masturbate to my friends.”

It’s silent as Taehyung tries to take in what you said.

nam_joonie suddenly im not bored anymore

Although you and Namjoon have been broken up for quite some time now, he still knew when you were nervous about something, and that’s exactly what you were now.

You pretend you hadn’t seen Namjoon’s comment the same way to choose to ignore Jennie’s silent laughter fit. “I know who you are, though, Kim Taehyung,“ you nod as if you’re trying to reassure him while Jennie tries her best not to pass out from second-hand embarrassment.

Tae tilts his head up when he chuckles and you’re given an even better view of his neck and the tattoos that accompany it. If given the opportunity, any person would love to leave little purple bruises up and down his throat. But not you (you weren’t like other girls (and boys for that matter)), too afraid to mess with the beautiful artwork that Taehyung truly was.

And on top of that, everything about him was cute and sexy at the same and it nearly made your head explode. For example: the fact that he had neck tattoos was sexy, and the fact that they were flowers and butterflies made it cute. His blonde mullet was sexy, and the baby pink headband he usually wore underneath it was cute.

Then there was his smile. The smirk was sexy, but his boxy smile is what made your heart flutter. You were beyond nervous.

“I love your tattoos,” you compliment, “do you have anymore?”

“Mmhm!” he hums excitedly and it seems like the butterflies on his neck have made their way down to your belly. He holds his left hand up, showing off yet another butterfly tattoo – a blue one. “And I have one one each thigh of a bird.”

nam_joonie omg taehyung ur tattoos are so hot ugh the sexual tension between u two is killing me just fuck one of her holes already!!!

Namjoon isn’t the only one commenting, but it’s the only comment your eyes let you see. Taehyung sees it to and wonders if your ex boyfriend’s bitter jealousy would be a problem in whatever relationship he’s trying to form with you.

“Maybe I will,” Taehyung says with a smirk and no context at all, but everyone had seen Namjoon’s comment – made it hard to miss with it being so long. If you had water in your mouth, you’d be choking on it. And Jennie, who was off to your side, had her jaw slacked open at Tae’s straightforward and risky reply.

user1 we-

user2 TEA !

user3 and i oop-

…And more twitter slang flood the chat. You and Taehyung stay on live for another half hour, Namjoon doesn’t comment again so you assume he left after what Taehyung said. The rest of the broadcast goes well, consisting of you and Tae joking and talking and flirting with Jennie occasionally making fun of you or one of his roommates yelling about the basketball game.

It’s nice talking to Taehyung, it’s like he’s managed to become your friend in the short amount of time you’ve talked to him. When he listens to you speak, he pays attention and doesn’t interrupt you. And when you interrupt him when he’s speaking, he doesn’t mind because he likes seeing you get so excited. He’s literally the perfect boy.

So perfect that you want to keep talking to him forever, even when your eyelids get heavy and demand sleep. Jennie has already taken a shower and would be heading to bed soon, and any other day you’d be following her footsteps by getting ready to sleep.

“You’re tired,” Taehyung says when you yawn for the third time in a row.

You bring you index finger and thumb together, creating little space between them. “Just a tad bit.”

“Then sleep, don’t you have class in the morning?”

You nod, “I’m probably gonna drop out anyway, but yeah I do.”

"Then sleep,” he repeats so kindly it makes you want to close your eyes right there just to please him. He’s taken his glasses off now (making a show of it when he did so) and you’re able to look into his eyes better.

“I’ll go to bed if you do,” you challenge.

Taehyung isn’t sleepy, but he should be going to bed anyway so he’s not tired for tomorrow’s early shooting. “Yeah, I’m filming tomorrow, I need to go to bed.”

There’s something about Tae saying he has to film tomorrow that makes your heart drop. It’s like, in the short amount of time you’ve known him, you forgot he was the most watched pornstar and mistook him for an everyday boy who had a normal job and a normal life that could sustain a normal relationship. But you should know by now, nothing in your life is normal, and you and Taehyung had the same career in completely different aspects.

“Okay,” you sigh, “goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.” he says before leaving the broadcast. He would’ve stayed on longer if his job wasn’t so demanding.

He waits a minute, and you’re finally done with your livestream. Then he waits, and waits, and waits until…

lucy_fer sent you a direct message.

It’s your phone number, along with a message.

lucy_fer / 1 min ago send nudes pls

Taehyung knows you’re joking, but considers sending a dick pic just to make you squirm. But he doesn’t, instead, he saves your number and sends a text of his own.

imessage today at 11:37 pm

no u

Withing the next few weeks, a friendship blossoms between you and Taehyung. You text everday now, and neither of you could be

You’ve uploaded more videos (to which Tae has jerked himself off to), and Taehyung has kept his title as number one and has starred in more films of his own (in which you was only to support because, again, you don’t watch porn).

It’s when he’s in his trailer with Seokjin getting ready to film another boring horny stepbrother when he get’s a text from you.

imessage today at 12:22 pm

i want to see u

in real life tho

like…i wanna meet u in real life

The last thing he texted you was a Jeongguk being stupid a few hours ago, so your lack of being able to respond quickly in this situation gave away the fact that this was something you had been thinking about a lot. He’s not too sure what to say in this sense. Yes, he’s your friend and wants to meet up with you, but what if something happens and changing the dynamic of your friendship? He cares for you the way a friend should (and probably a little more), and feels like you’re one of the few people who actually understand him. He definitely doesn’t want to lose you like Namjoon has.

He responds:

hmm, what prompted ur sudden interest in wanting to see me?

You’re quick to reply:

rmr a little while ago we talked about filming something together? u can come up here for a weekend, we could hang out and film something

taehyung:

so u only want me for my body?? i see how it is…

you:

oh quit it

so, what do u say? u can stay at my place

He tells you he’s going to think about it, but already knows he’s going to say yes. It’s all he can think about twenty minutes later when he’s fucking some redhead deep into the mattress. The sound of your girlish moans and gasps play so vividly in his mind, if he tries hard enough, he can pretend your sounds are coming from the girl’s mouth and you’rethe one he’s balls deep in.

And if he tries hard enough, he can pretend the little tuffs of the girl’s red hair that form against the pillow are your red devil horns.

And when he does try hard enough, he has to stop himself from cumming right then and there by distracting himself with other thoughts. He can’t think of you, of course – you’re the one who got him into this predicament in the first place.

Taehyung opens his eyes, trying his best to momentarily erase you from his mind. He looks down at the girl beneath him and is met with closed eyes and parted lips; her tongue was only slightly visible and was bit down on to stifle load moans.

The expression on her face is awkward, amateur almost, and Taehyung can’t stand it. He thrusts deeper, earning a high pitched moan from the girl and follows suit with a low groan.

He’s bored. Extremely bored. Then his mind drifts back to you, and he smiles because he’ll be seeing you in a few days. And for once, in a very long time, he’s excited for something. So excited that his boxy smile pays a visit and he has to bury his face in his co-star’s shoulder to cover it up.

Friday comes around rather quickly, and Taehyung finds himself halfway out of the front door with a duffel bag in his hand, saying goodbye to his roommates.

“No people, no parties, no dancing, no loud music, and Yeontan is the only animal allowed in this house. If I get a complaint from the neighbors, I swear–” Taehyung’s infamous exit speech is cut off by Jeongguk clasping a hand on his shoulder.

“Relax, hyung,” he says a little too calmly for Taehyung’s comfort, “nothing bad is gonna happen, don’t worry.”

The sound of tiny nails scraping against the wooden floor has made Tae forget what he was saying, only being able to focus on the beautiful dog running up to him.

He drops the bag, bending down to pet the fur and say goodbye to his faithful companion. “Please remember to take care of Yeontan; he’s very needy.”

“We will, I promise.” Hoseok says and Taehyung stands upright once again.

“It’s not you I’m worried about,” he adjusts the bag on his shoulder, “Gguk is the one that concerns me.”

Jeongguk scoffs, fake offended, “Me?! Why me?!”

“That time you went two days without food and didn’t even realize it.”

“That–I–it was for a gaming tournament! Plus, I drank Red Bull and that gave me all the energy i needed.” he tries to redeem himself, but it doesn’t work.

“Please just take care of my fucking dog,” is the last thing Taehyung says along with ‘goodbye’ before leaving his house.

The drive to your apartment is nearly two hours away, and Taehyung can hardly believe he’s going out of his way to hang out with a friend then have sex with her. It’s ridiculous yet so exciting. So…new.

You’re outside your apartment building when Taehyung arrives, heart beating out of both of your chest. He doesn’t leave the car, since the two of you agreed you’d go out in the city before coming back to your place, but you can already see he’s a lot taller in person. And a lot hotter, if that was possible.

You jog up to his Range Rover, the best looking car in the parking lot, and slide into his passenger seat. Before Taehyung is able to get a word in, you’ve already engulfed him into a tight hug. He’s thrown off his game by your sudden forwardness, but he doesn’t let it phase him. Instead, his arms find comfort around your waist, embarrassing you so tight and completely as if you’d melt away if he let go.

Then, you’re pushing him off of you, as if nothing happened.

“I can’t believe I’m here, with you, in your car. I bet so many of your fans would die to be in this position,” you run your fingers through your hair as a method to calm your nerves.

“And many other positions…” he jokes with a small smirk, handing you his phone so you can put in the address to the place you’re having lunch at.

“Touché,” you reply, and minutes later you’re on your way to a whole-in-the-wall cute, little restaurant. It’s mostly empty, so neither of you are recognized.

Taehyung picks a little table in the far corner by the window; just enough room for the both of you. He pulls out your chair, because he’s polite like that, before setting down your tray of food on the table and sitting down on his own seat.

“It’s raining,” you whisper, chin in the palm of your hand as you stare out the window.

Taehyung had started to place your food in front of you, but stops when he hears you speak. He looks up at you, and the only word he can use to describe you in this exact moment is ‘pretty’. Pretty, pretty, pretty.

He gulps, glancing out the window to see it had indeed began to rain. “Yeah,” is all he can say, because there’s not much you can say when you’re being taunted.

The sky is teasing him, as though it was saying, “ha ha, I can cry and you can’t”, because Tae is so at peace being here with you, he could actually cry. He’s happy for once, and wishes he didn’t have to hide it.

“It’ll be dark by the time the movie’s over,” Taehyung says while handing you your sandwich, “are we going straight to your place afterwards?”

“We can, I mean, it’s Friday and you don’t leave until Monday morning; we have the whole weekend to explore.”

Tae nods out of excitement but doesn’t show it. He’s been looking forward to filming with you and is happy you’re ready to do so as soon as possible. Now, he’ll just have to find a way to stop thinking or talking about it.

“So about the video we’re making today,” he takes a sip out of his lemonade.

“Oh yeah, I was gonna have my manager email yours to sort out some details, then I remembered I don’t have a manager–”

“Wait,” Tae raises a hand to silence you, “you don’t have a manager? Why not?”

Embarrassed, you slump back in your seat and shrug. “I dunno, I felt like I didn’t need one until now, honestly. All of my videos are filmed and edited by me and on the rare occasion I have someone to film with, they’re people I know personally; not big time…pornstars.” you whisper the last part because although the restaurant is mostly empty, you’re still in public.

“I’m literally just a YouTuber that takes her clothes off,” you continue.

“Even YouTuber’s have managers, don’t they?” he points out.

Before you can respond, your phone starts to vibrate on the table. “It’s Jennie,” you say, “do you mind if I…?” you hold your phone up with pleading eyes, claiming the call could be important. Taehyung says it’s fine and takes a bite out of his own sandwich while you accept the call.

“Yeah?…Oh, okay!…Can you tidy up before you go?…I know, but still…Great, have fun…Oh, shut up…Thank you, I love you…Alright bye,” Is all Taehyung hears from your forty-second conversation before setting your phone back down.

“That was my roommate, she just left for the weekend, so me and you have the apartment to ourselves.”

“You have a roommate?” Taehyung asks.

“Yeah, Jennie.”

“Does she know you do porn?”

“Mmhm, she was in my video before. I think I titled it: Pussy Is God.”

“Knowing you, you probably replaced the S’s with dollar signs.”

You smile, “You know me pretty well, don’t you?”

And he does know you pretty well. Just like he knows when the two of you are exiting the restaurant, you make sweater paws with your hands because you’re cold. So he holds your hand and let’s your fingers intertwine the entire walk to his car and tells himself it’s just platonic hand holding.

And when you’re in the theater watching Endgame, he feels your body tremble as you watch Iron Man take his final breath. You don’t cry, but Taehyung let’s the tear he was holding in fall from his eye. He doesn’t think you saw it, but you do, and later on he let’s you assume it’s the movie that made him cry. But really, it was you.

You had brought Kim Taehyung to tears.

Because when he’s with you, he isn’t thinking about his job or stress, or anything. Your presence had captured him and tricked him into thinking he, being the person he is, could handle being in a relationship; a serious one at that.

And that’s exactly what he was afraid of.

“Just admit it, you big baby. We basically went on a date.” You say hours later as you lead Taehyung into your apartment.

“Oh, you think so?” Taehyung asks as you flick on the light switch.

“Well, we had lunch, held hands, saw a movie, and we’re about to have sex so…yeah, I think it’s safe to say we went on a date.”

Upon entering your apartment, Taehyung notes it’s as small as you said it would be, but didn’t expect for there to be so many new, expensive appliances. Seriously, your fridge, flat screen television, and microwave all look so out of place in your crappy apartment. He assumes your porn money as started rolling in, but doesn’t ask.

“You wanna film now?” Taehyung asks, slipping off his shoes when you notices you doing the same.

“Why wait?” You ask with a devilish smirk, “I’m gonna change, but please, make yourself at home.”

You’re in your room getting dressed in your usual skirt, bra, and devil horns (and even a little bit of makeup because…fuck it) while Taehyung takes time to prepare himself with a mini prep talk while he waits.

“I’m ready if you are,” you call from your doorframe. Taehyung’s dick already feels like it’s stirring in his pants, so he tries his best not to look at you when he enters your room and sits on the edge of your bed, directly in front of your only camera.

“Are you ready?” you ask, a finger on the ‘record’ button.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he replies.

You press record and sit down next to him.

“It’d be so funny if I just put in, like, clips of our first livestream together when you said you would fuck one of my holes,” you laugh, and Taehyung is amazed at how comfortable you became in a matter of seconds. You truly were a natural at this, and it put him at ease.

“Please don’t do that,” he replies, shaking his head.

“Im gonna do it, but, anyway…! I’m here with Kim Taehyung! And I have a gift for him!” You lean over to your bedside drawer to retrieve your gift for him, Tae lets out a desperate sigh when he gets a clear view of your ass.

“Usually, I have my co-star for the evening wear complimentary devil horns, right? But, for you, I went out and got you your own pair. They don’t look much different than mine or any other pair, but these are special…because they’re yours.” you pull the headband from behind your back and gently place it in his hands and watch as he stares at them for a moment.

Although they’re the same style of the ones of the ones usually featured in your videos, they’re different in some way. Newer. Cleaner. His to keep.

He stares at them in silence, making you nervous by the second, and you make a mental note to edit awkward Wii music in at this part. “..so do you like it, or…?”

Instead of responding, he moves his tattooed-hand up to his hair and removes his baby blue headband in a swift motion; replacing it with his new gifts. Out of his duffel bag, he pulls out a light pink supreme headband (similar to his infamous one) and gives it to you, claiming he also brought you a gift.

And for the sake of the porno (and because you like him so much without realization), you take off your devil horns and replace them with the headband he’s given you.

When Taehyung stares at you, he feels like his looking at his heart in human form. He can’t look away and sure as hell doesn’t want to. But, he’s not in love. He’s in lust and in like and all the things that come with having a crush because Jesus Christ he has the biggest, fattest crush on you, Y/N.

“Do I look like you?” you ask.

“Nope, you look way better,” he compliments.

You wave your hand in a motion that says, ‘as if’. He isn’t used to working without a script, but is too shy to ask how you plan on getting things started. And, like you read his mind, you instruct him to lay back on the bed, and he does so.

"What, are you gonna top me?” Taehyung asks with a cocky smile and a raised brow, elbows holding himself up as he watches you crawl over him until your faces are centimeters apart.

“You’d make such a cute, little bottom,” your lips brush against his with every word you speak, and yet, you’re still not kissing. “But no, just relax.” You might as well had been speaking a foreign language Taehyung had no knowledge of because he had no clue what you were saying; too distract by the fact that your lips were literally on his and you weren’t even kissing, though you both so badly want to.

“Kiss me, pussy,” is what you want to say to him, but you don’t. Your lips place delicate kisses down his neck, so soft and subtly and almost nonexistent, not wanting to cover up his tattoos with hickeys.

Your hands make their way down to his jeans until you’re undoing his belt and sliding it off with ease. With his elbows hosting himself up again, Taehyung watches you pull his jeans down all the way to his ankles until they’ve met the same fate as his Gucci belt. When you hook a finger on the waistband of his boxers, he stops you with a question.

“What’re you doing?” he slurs, and regrets asking such a dumb question because he already knows damn well what you’re gonna do.

“Gonna suck you off; is that okay?”

It’s more than okay, honestly. It’s just, Taehyung is a giver. His fans pay to watch him give and give and give until they’re watching his cum drip out of someone’s swollen cunt; he definitely wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of sex and couldn’t even remember the last time he’d gotten a proper blowjob.

He doesn’t respond verbally, only giving a light nod and running his tongue across his top lip.

Getting the answer you were hoping for, you tug off Taehyung’s boxers with a single finger, his cock springing free and laying flat against his abdomen. Precum leaks from his reddening tip and you can’t help but gasp at the euphoric sight. Taehyung smiles in delight when the soft noise leaves your mouth, and suddenly, he’d confident again.

Your hand makes it’s way to grab a hold of Tae’s cock, using the pad of your thumb to smear the seeping precum along his tip. He let’s out a moan of pleasure, already obsessed with the feeling of your small hand wrapped around his ever-hardening member.

Starting off with slow strokes, you lower your head until you’re inches away from his dick. You’re not even doing much, yet Taehyung feels like he could cum right now just by the way you’re looking at him; so dark and lustful and sinful, like the she-devil you truly were.

Without warning, your tongue presses itself alongside Tae’s tip, peppering the sides with small kitten licks. “Shit,” he mutters, eyes tightly shut. If he thought your hands were good, your tongue nearly sent him into overdrive.

The little kitten lick only last for a few seconds longer, and then your mouth is completely around him. He’s big around you, and it’ll take a bit of work if you plan on getting him to the back of your throat.

You pull your mouth away from with a pop, your free hand stroking off parts of him your mouth couldn’t reach quite yet. He’s still propped up on his elbows, watching as you get him off.

Your mouth is wrapped around him once again, and soon enough, his eyes are back to being shut as he takes in the warm feeling of your mouth. Taehyung fights the urge to buck his hips once you’re finally able to allow him deeper in your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat as you fight off your gag reflex.

He even fights thee urge once you’ve gotten used to the feeling and began to slowly bob your head. He grabs a fistful of your hair tightly, earning a pleasing groan from you that vibrates around his dick. Pulling only a slight bit harder on your hair gets another reaction out of you, this time causing your left hand to work your way down into your panties.

The sight alone makes Taehyung want to replace your fingers with his own; watching his tattooed-hand disappearing into your underwear until his fingers are circling around your clit, slipping his fingers between your slick folds until they’re completely covered. He’d bring his fingers up to your mouth and whisper “taste yourself, baby, taste how wet you are for me,” then his fingers would be in your mouth, licking your juices clean. And he’d bring his hand back down to your cunt, calling you his good girl while we thrusts his fingers in and out of you.

But that can’t happen, at least not tonight while you were recording and, oh fuck…he was so caught up, Taehyung forgot this whole thing was being filmed.

“Shit, fuck, stop it,” he instructs, knowing he’d release right then and there if you kept this up.

“Something wrong?” you ask, your big doe eyes peering up at him with your mouth glistening with his precum. You looked so innocent yet so sinful and it drove Taehyung so crazy.

He’s taking his shit off, leaving him completely naked and you follow suit. “I shouldn’t be selfish,” he says when you’re leaning over him, hardening nipples brushing against his own chest. “You need to get off too, right?”

You grin with a nod before finally kissing him. It’s not a cute, first kiss you’d imagined it being, but it was something. Sloppy, messy, and horny.

When he tries to lift you up to lay you on your back, you stop him by pulling away from his lips and harshly grabbing his shoulder blade. “I’m going to top.”

Taehyung chuckles because he thinks your joking, and when he realizes you’re being serious, he shakes his head. “Absolutely not,” his dominant side had slowly began to show.

“That’s what you think,” you say, and reach down to grab his cock. He decides there’s no point in fighting you on this since your mind is made up and admits defeat by replacing your hand with his and rubbing his tip against your folds.

Your grip onto his shoulders to steady yourself, eyes closed while you let him tease your entrance. His tip lazily brushes circles on your cunt, and you can’t help but a let out a high-pitched whine when he’s finally inside of you.

His thrusts are slow at first, giving you time to stretch out around him. “Okay,” you sigh, once you’re finally ready for harder, deeper thrusts.

“You wanted to top so badly,” he says, “you do all the work.”

You let out a laugh but deiced it’s fair, so you rock your hips against his, grabbing his thighs to hold onto in the process. You’ve just started, but the feeling of Taehyung finally inside of you after all these weeks already has the both of you moaning, thankful your roommate was out of town.

Your head is thrown back now as you keep the steady pace, hair sticking to the sweat on your back while Tae keeps a firm grip on your waist. His eyes are still closed in fear of releasing right then and there if he opened his eyes to see the sight of you on top of him.

“Taehyung…I–I–” you’re barely able to talk, so close to your climax you can hardly get a word out.

“You wanna come?” he asks, fingers moving down to massage your clit, adding all the more reason for you to orgasm.

“Please,” you whine, although it’s not like Taehyung has told you to ask for permission to come, this is just you in your natural state. And he loves it.

“Then come,” he says, and your orgasm rips through you, the type that has your eyes rolling back and body shaking. Tae can’t help but do the same moments later, the feeling of your cum dripping around him a little too much to handle. The inside of your walls are splattered white, but you don’t mind much; at least you’re on the pill.

The two of you pant as you come down from your highs, both exhausted at this point. And you, being yourself, reach down to give Taehyung a high-five, to which he accepts with a laugh.

“That was fun,” you say, just now rising off of him and trying your best not to groan at the feeling of emptiness.

“Yeah,” he agrees, “you’re good at your job.”

You accept and return the compliment before turning off the camera and excusing yourself in the bathroom.

Alone with his thoughts, Taehyung flops backwards on your bed and recall what has just happened. He’s scared, he feels like you’ve trapped him in your heart, like a caged animal. He knows he shouldn’t have feelings for him, but he can’t help himself; you were absolutely perfect in his eyes.

When you enter the room again and lay down next to him, he thinks about how little he cares about anything other than you. He doesn’t care if his career doesn’t allow it, what his friends will say, or what his fans will say. He only wants you.

“Y/N?” he calls softly, turning his head to look at you.

“Yes?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

[franeridart]

dude your recent demon & angel kiribaku art reminds me a little bit of aziraphale and crowley from good omens!! like aziraphale would be angrier as baku obvs but still i thought of it and it made me happy lol

A lot of people have mentioned that in the tags/under the post and that makes me!!! super happy!!!! Good Omens is one of my fav books and Crowley one of my fav characters, so the comment feels nice! I wasn’t specifically thinking about them when drawing it, but possibly a bit I was influenced anyway!! I wonder if what made everyone think about them was Kiri’s sunglasses? It’s not noticeable but I did give him glowing eyes too after all haha

Anon said:Have you ever thought about how op a TodoBakuDeku fusion would be? (if they could stay together that is lol!)

Never thought of it tbh, but at this point I’m pretty sure with a lot of work on Baku’s part they’d be able to stick together long enough! He wouldn’t find it comfortable but they’d def be one of the strongest three-people-fusions in the class - not the strongest, tho, since they all have the same sort of straightforward offensive power when it comes to their quirks, I think I could find three people who’d make a stronger fusion... Baku Kiri and Momo, for example, would be even more impressive imho! Since all their quirks cover a different field, and their minds/personalities mesh well enough to have the right amount of planning and instinctive reaction/self-preservation and safety of others/pride and self-doubt/lawfulness and chaotic acting and so on. Even just as a team, without counting them as a fusion, I think they’d make one of the most balanced ones! Compared to that putting Todo Deku and Baku in the same place is just a recipe for disaster more often than not haha

Anon said:no, i move slow, I wanna stop time, I'll sit here til I find the,, inspiration to draw,,,,,,

LMAO it’s a song about art block after all, I feel every word in it a whole damn lot hahaha

Anon said:Art block or no art block, I love everything you come up with 💜

AW HECK ANON you’re so sweet!!! Thank you so much!!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Mixing thei hero names? So uuuh King Riot?

We still don’t know Baku’s hero name, so anything might be, really! It’s why I didn’t outright have Kiri mention any idea, I got no clue myself where he was going with it haha it’d be cool if his hero name were Ground Zero, because it’d mix well with Red Riot imho (Red Zero or Ground Riot or Red Ground, they all sound nice!) but what if Baku’s hero name ends up just being Katsuki, after all? How do you mix that with Red Riot? (the answer is Red Victory, or Akatsu!! from akai (red) + katsu !! ngl I’ve thought about this a lot lmao) anyway so many possibilities so little known facts!

Anon said:I love the details on Kiri and Baku's skin. Great job!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Anon said:!!!!!!!!!! fran oh my god your zine piece is so beautiful!!!!!!!

Sob thank youuu!!!! I’m glad you liked it!!!! ;O;

Anon said:i just got my zine and the art and writing was so lovely, i loved your comic at the end. an amazing way to end the zine♡

THANK YOU!!!! I’m jelly, I still haven’t gotten mine ;O; I hope the comic was easy to read even in printed form, I’ve been worried about that for months hahaha rip at least there’s the pdf

Anon said: i’m in love with your kiri bday art!!!! with the colorless art like that, are we allowed to color it? of course no posting it, but just for fun.

If you promise not to post it, I’m cool with it! Thank you for liking it enough to want to do that!!! Seriously tho don’t post it if you do

Anon said:Can you draw more kamisero? g u d q u a l i t y s h i p ma' dude.

Maybe? Currently it really isn’t between my top priorities but who knows

Anon said:FRANNNNN!!!! Your comic for the Take My Hand zine!!!! I'm gonna cry! It's so beautiful and the boys are so perfect! Your art is so amazing, I was so thrilled to see your piece. Not to mention the detail you put in. Their hands killed me! With Bakugou's palms and Kiri's arms! Ugh, I just can't, I love it so much.

I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE HANDS it’s weird bc that one panel is probably my fav in the comic and I was so sure no one was gonna really notice it but!! So many people did!!!!! It makes me so happy oh man ;O;

Anon said:Hey coulda maybe make a traitor Kaminari comic?

Nope! No traitor arts here, sorry! SInce I don’t believe any of the theories to the point of finding them outright laughable, any art I could ever make about it would just come out looking either fake or ridiculous and no one wants to see that lmao

Anon said:your take my hand comic!!! it's so good!! thank you for doing the boys so well ;;;

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOUUUU!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I don't know if you remember, but a couple months ago I asked if it'd be okay for me to write something based on a few of your art pieces. Would that still be alright? Your art is gorgeous and makes my brain think and brings joy to me all the time ^^ would absolutely link to the art and credit you. that's not even a question :)

That still depends on which art you’re specifically talking about! And thank you so much for the compliment!!

Anon said:I don’t know if you read fan fiction, but I have one to suggest to you! It’s called, “It’s Obvious When You Lie”. Only three chapters are out so far, but it’s really good!

I’ll add it to my marked for later list then!! Thank you so much for the rec, I don’t easily try out ongoing fics so this was very nice of u!!!

Anon said:In the body switch AU Todoroki sees how fucked up Midoriya feels around Bakugou('s body?) and realizes wow fuck this guy has traumatized my bf. I wonder what I can do to fuck w/ him so the day before they switch back (So Bakugou can't do much in retaliation) he takes Bakugou's body and does the stupidest bullshit ever as revenge

HECK anon sorry but nothing like this would happen ever as long as I’m the one writing the AU! For three main reasons! One, I don’t think Deku is traumatized at all! His relationship with Baku at the moment is actually pretty damn neat and on equal footing, you go you two, growing so much!! Two, Baku and Todo are friends!!! And Todo would never be a dick to Baku instead of just talking to him, if he had a problem with him!! Three, even if one and two weren’t true, Deku has no need for knights in shining armor fighting his battles for him!! He’s a strong independent boy and if he hasn’t fought Baku over this it’s probs cause he doesn’t want anyone to fight him over it!!! Also in this specific AU Todo and Deku aren’t dating, so the scenario doesn’t work for me! Sorry!

Anon said:Have you ever thought about krbk wedding?

I have! And I’ve talked about it on here a few times too! Lately I’ve been thinking about it again tho, from a designs point of view, because!! There’s that very neat post going around tumblr about that wedding photos in which one of the two grooms has a white tux with a cape, and I’ve been thinking about a variation of it for Kirishima’s wedding suit :0 something red instead of white, but generally similar! It’s a lot of effort to draw it so I still haven’t, but yeh!!

Anon said:Hello! I read this fic about your cat comics and the author said to send you some love in their end notes so here is some well-deserved love: your art is beautiful! It's why I became interested in BakuShima and I would not have loved these characters as much if it weren't for you. You also seem to be a very nice person, your mind is beautiful and I am glad you exist

G O DS this is such a nice ask!!!! thank you so so much!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Non chiedo una risposta a questo messaggio, anzi. Volevo solo dirti che trovo la tua arte FANTASTICA, e non sai quanto i tuoi comic e tutto il tuo lavoro mi ha strappato più di un sorriso in brutti momenti. Sapere che sei italiana mi ha fatto totalmente impazzire. Continua così, hai del talento vero. E grazie!

NUHHHH GRAZIE A TE PER ESSERE COSI’ GENTILE OMFG !!!!!!!!!! ;A;

Anon said:Okay okay okay! I adore your art! Could you maybe... draw some KiriBaku fantasy? If it’s not too much to ask! It can be as simple as can be! Your art is just really cute!

Yes I can and yes I will!!! Definitely and in the near future, did you know one of the app games JUST revealed a fantasy wolf Baku as a special halloween chara?? It’s just fantasy Baku with wolf ears and tail, but he’s adorable and I’ve been wanting to draw him since I saw him this morning ;O; so cute!

Anon said:Pssst. Singer Baku, Guitarist Kami, and Drummer Kiri. A good hc if I do say so myself.

It IS a great thought!! Drummer Kiri and Singer Baku have always been a weakness of mine too, so heck!! What a good image! If we put Jirou on bass and vocals too and sero on keyboard and mina on guitar, you make my fav band right then and there hahaha

Anon said:I'm not in the BNHA fandom at the moment but your art still continues to give me the warm fuzzies

GODS ISN’T THIS A NICE ASK!! I’m happy I can make you enjoy even characters you’re not specifically into! Thank you so much for sticking around!!!! ;O;

Anon said:i just got into bnha and fell in love with your art, started going through your sketch tag, and then realize that youre the person who made a bunch of haikyuu comics i loved a while ago so im! very glad to rediscover your stuff!!

HOLY GODS THAT’S NEAT!!! Welcome back!!!! ;O;

Anon said:I love it when you draw kiri with his hair down 💕💕💕 so good, so pure 💕💕💕💕

Oh boy thank you!! ;O; he’s so much easier to draw with his hair spiked for me, knowing people like the way I draw his hair when down means a whole damn lot!! 

Anon said:Hello! First I love your account and artwork! Second will you ever be drawing Mako and Taiyou again? They are so adorable! Also Bakugou and Kirishima seems like amazing dad's!

Thank you!!! And yes I will! I have another ask around here asking about them, so maybe soon! Just gotta find the right idea to draw, I got a bunch but they’re all way too long for my curret attenton span level sadly hahaha rip

Anon said:lmaaaaooo my boi kaminari be having an emotional awakening

Kaminari is like, he’s always somewhere subconsciously known that Baku’s objectively pretty, but since he knows him so well and he’s always around him and most of the times they’re bickering and making fun of each other he’s never actually realized, so now he’s like oh, NOW I see it hahaha

Anon said:hi u probably get this enough but I wanted to give u all my appreciation for ur art thank u for sharing it with us I love everything u post ♡♡♡

THANK YOU!!!! It might be greedy of me but this sorta asks are never enough for me, so seriously thank you for taking your time to drop by and be so nice!!!

Anon said:Could you please draw more of the body swap au? Or what if a different pair of students were to switch?

I’m not gonna draw any other switch with other students, because before settling on Baku and Todo I went through a lot of possibilities and came to the conclusion that nothing would be as funny as Baku and Todo switched are (or at least nothing Horikoshi hasn’t already done himself lmao) so there’s that. I might draw more of them switched, but to be honest with you the only idea with that concept I have right now is Bakugou forgetting he’s suddenly taller and continuously walking into things around the dorms, so there’s that as well hahaha

[mochidust]

Yes, i am 100% a Jikook supporter.  My blog is a safe haven for those who love them as well as for those who love OT7.  I have zero tolerance for negative asks so if i don't post and answer your ask, most likely it was negative and i don't want to address it and start wars or... Tumblr ate it. Choose your option :) Also, I'm only going to talk about how I view them, not how anyone else should so don't get those panties up in a wad, thanks. Oh and this is gonna be a pretty fcuking long essay so please have your coffee, tea, bubble-tea, wine ready... you have been warned ;)

Shipping has never been my thing and even if i liked a pairing, it was always just platonic. Right off the bat, i liked the VMIN ship.  They were just the cutest kids/friends/siblings/soulmates. VMIN became my favorite/first BTS ship - again, it was strictly platonic shipping.  Bromance, that cute jazz and i still ship them like that. And besides, who doesn’t?!

One day, after watching a cute VMIN vid on youtube, i forgot to toggle off autoplay and a JiKook vid started playing and i...just... fell and i still haven't managed to get up yet. I tried really hard to just stan them as platonic, like i do VMIN but apparently, JJK is having none of that.  

And i really do mean that.  JJK was the person who changed my mind on their dynamics - even before the famous G.C.F. video.  He is my meme for that whole: You don't choose your ship, it chooses you dictum. After that vid, i got very interested and started re-watching their RUN eps and concert clips and boy oh boy. The amount of staring aka heart-eyes, the way JJK constantly hovers over PJM, the way he's always so attentive to ONLY PJM, the way he always strives to make Jimin laugh...i'm still dumbfounded.  I can't remember ever looking at a single man i've ever dated like that or received looks like that back.  Because trust me, if someone looked at me with the emotions of their heart spilling out of their eyes the way JJk does PJM, i would never let him go.  You know that familiar old saying of one wearing their heart on their sleeves? Well, that is not JJK at all. He is the only person i know who takes it up a notch and wears it in his gaze. And what is subtlety to this boy.

It's almost like this is a drama and i am watching it unfold in real time.  We started with the usual one-sided feelings, Jiminie who was so aggressive and open with his affections in chasing around the maknae.  I used to just brush those moments off as child's play...but they've become significant in the Jikook relationship. Stepping stones that mired what was inevitable.  It's like Jimin grew up and he turned into this beautiful swan that matched his beautiful personality and suddenly, everyone noticed - JJK first. This is where I'm really in awe...Their dynamics started shifting and as Jimin dialed back the public affections, JJK poured it on x10.  It almost seemed like the more JJK pushed Jimin for attention, the less PJM gave it and it resulted in JJK not giving a damn what anyone thought except for making PJM aware of his feelings. The hunted is now the hunter ;)

In the beginning, i tried to tell myself, hey, this is all in your imagination, quit trying to see things where they aren't!  They're just very fond group members! And as soon as i think that thought, JJK goes ahead and blows it to smithereens. He just won't let me live.  Following will be some reasons why it's so damn hard to breathe around these two:

When these two are together, they either sound like they're flirting, look like they're flirting or ARE INDEED FLIRTING. I can't shut up about this.  There's this level of intimacy that just dusts the air when these two are standing, sitting, laying next to each other.  But you know what's even more marvelous is that that air somehow gets even more intense when they are separated by other members. It's like the members become obstacles they have to overcome to let their love flourish so they amp things up even more lmao.  Off the top of my head is the moment recently in their vlive where they were toasting to their AMA performance and Yoongi was in the middle like a barrier but those two...the flirting and giggling and stuttering...I'm sure Yoongs was just like...get me the fcuk away from these lovesick fools. I know i would've been running.

They can be quite fiercely protective of one another. Jimin is affectionate with every member, true, but no one can deny that he's particularly soft for JJK, as proven in a Run ep when he gave the extra food flag to JJK and made his own teammate/soulmate V beg for his lol... There's also BV2 when he tries to win a meal for JJK with the table game, when he offers his bed space to JJK...Jimin is always trying to feed JJK when he loses in games, making sure he's comfortable when they're sleeping, encouraging him to speak up, say whats on his mind,  and JJK reciprocates in kind, albeit more quietly; waiting for PJM’s slow butt, defending PJM when others poke fun at him, complimenting him when he's unsure (especially when it's unwarranted), even going as far as defending PJM before anyone can tease him!  An example of that is during BV2 when the boys were cooking for one another and Jimin made that dish that tasted like pickled pollack roe.  I'm sure JJK didn't want the other's comments to hurt Jimin's feelings (even though it didn't come off that way) so he pepped up with the whole "I love pickled pollack roe" even though no one else cared. Thats the kind of love and devotion JJK shows to PJM - it’s quiet, uplifting, supportive and it is endearing beyond all.  And don’t forget...whenever the groups play games, JJK always finds a way to cheer on Jimin, even if they are on opposing teams. Talk about being sweet on someone. I'm actually quite jealous.

Satellite Jeon has got to be my most favorite JJK. I've, in all honesty, never seen anyone orbit before until Jungkook.  He can be at the opposite end of the stage and somehow, come hell or high water, he will make it to park beside Jimin.  Like Jimin is his security blanket and he needs that source of comfort and warmth. I am just overly fond of that one vlive for Hobi's birthday when freaking JJK worked his away behind the camera to stand right behind PJM.  As if that wasn't enough, he had to place his hands on PJM's shoulders to make it be known that "hey, I'm right here behind you."  We see you, Jeon, trust me, we do. It's really endearing to watch Jimin's personal hoverboard in action.  In interviews, during speeches...there are so many circumstances where he either moves to stand closer to Jimin or moves to stand where he can see Jimin more clearly and i haven't seen him do that with others. It's like Jimin is a magnet for his eyes.  Love songs always quote: I only have eyes for you. And Jungkook proves that quote true.

G.C.F Tokyo broke me out of my musings of them being just friends permanently.  Who does this?!  Who goes out of their way to cart around a huge camera all day and take videos/photos of someone else on a vacation?  Either a photographer who is working or a LOVER. Obviously JJK’s profession is not that of a photographer so...yeah. Listen, I love my siblings/friends but you’ll never catch me lugging that around while im on vacation, no way.  After i watched that video, i sat in silence for a good long time.  Can you imagine the planning that goes on behind something like this? It’s no overnight thought-process.  Neither is the piecing together of it.  The amount of time, dedication, love, affection JJK put into this video is heartwarming. Seeing PJM the way JJK sees him is breathtaking. While sitting there in the afterglow of that marvelous tribute, i realized that in this world, all i ever want is for someone to love me, see me, the way that JJK sees PJM.  I want that glow that PJM emitted while frolicking freely with JJK, that happiness that is threatening to burst out of both their chests, that pure, unabashed tenderness for one another.

I’d have expected something like that from PJM, the open, brazen, affectionate little bean. But to have it come from JJK the introvert, shy, always in his own bubble guy... It’s baffling. I’ve always thought JJk was quite a chameleon. There's layers upon layers upon layers with this man.  If i were to compare them to food, i would say PJM is decadent mousse in a glass cup where you know and can see the layers and appreciate them thoroughly.  JJK is that delicious chocolate cake where you have to cut inside the cake to see how many layers are present.  He's an awesome anomaly. And...maybe that is why they fit together so well.  What JJK lacks, PJM makes up for and vice versa. Jimin is all things dainty and Jungkook is all things masculine.  It's a perfect fit.

None of us know them personally. We can only ship from afar so please ship respectfully.

---

damn. i didn’t think it was this long.  If you got through this, kudos to you, my friend :)

[fabllama02]

I suddenly had the urge to write, when i finally stepped out of my house to go out. Of course, we did go out a few thousand times. But that was usually for a business matter, like school activities, visiting hometown. This had been a quite busy year lately. Exams are waiting around the corner and your not sure if you’re ready to accept your fate just yet. You want to try new things, writing was one of mine, i want to create a blog, especially to post whatever beautiful vomits i could make. It had been hard, but i did it because i want to and that kept me going.

We passed a few more buildings and saw a more smaller restaurant that were slowly improving itself. I didn’t feel much, just the soft chatter between my parents as i sat myself at the backseat. I’ve always preferred to sit at the back on the left side beside the window. I want to see the outside view of the world with my earphones on. I currently dont have those right now, seems they have mysteriously disappeared. Now, as i stare out the window with the soft chatter in the background, i’ve never felt more relaxed. Exams are no longer in mind as i stared at the cloudless sky, just like my thoughts; empty.

Soon, bigger roads were starting to show and more cars filled up the gap. Not as many and not as little, just right on a slow Saturday night. I recalled the shops that passes by in my line of sight and wondered why most of them were closed. In my opinion shops would have more customers if it would still be open at night. At this topic, i remembered the conversation i had with my father, long years past.

“Father?” Asked me, hints of childlishness lingers in the voice of an 11 year old.

“Yes, what is it?” His eyes focused on the front but the question was pointed to me.

With the childlish idea of a child who seemingly had never been tarnished, spoke, “Why does the shops always close at night?”

Father smiled with all the gentleness and sweetness of a parent, “Well, to get their rest of course! Shop owners needed their sleep to continue their work early tomorrow.”

I looked down and did a pout, just the small tucked bottom of the lip, “but, why?” I looked outside, seeing all the beauty that glows in the night starry sky. “It would look more pretty and bright..”

Father just smiled and let my mind wonder.

Looking back at it, my opinion would never change even as i grew up. More and more perspective i woud see and opened up my mind a little bit more as years passed by. But still, that small image of the bright shops with colourful lights that lit up the dark night would always linger.

In small ways, i would still be a child at heart.

Traffic lights passes by; green, orange and red. Finally, the faraway image of a tall building shows up and my head tilted up at the tall sight. Wow. Beautiful. I gapped like a fish. I can’t help it. Sure, i saw the sight plenty of times, but i just cant seem to just. Just. Its still beautiful and mesmerizing to see no matter.

This part is the bigger part of the city; the more busier and modern part. I just saw a residental area, filled with square shaped houses. Painted with black and white colour, tall glasses glinted back reflections of the interior. Wow. How many times do i have to say this. At the sight of these beautiful designs and architecture, i can’t help the small feeling that grows in me, proudness that i felt for my country grew. Despite its troubles in politics and such, the city itself would never stop improving.

I gapped in awe, lights would reflect off my glasses. My eyes probably looked too wide, like a kid that found the biggest toyshop, ever.

Still, as much as i loved and adore these parts, the small introverted part of me would prefer the much quiet areas. Like my home, theres not too much shops, not too much customers and not too much lights. Its more of an office area, which isnt that busy actually. I loved the bigger and modern yet the quiet and peaceful areas. I am a lover of both bigger and smaller parts. Both are needed in my parts of life. I don’t want to spend my life cooped up in a room yet i don’t want to spend too much of my energy being in a big city. I loved the lights that fills up the night sky yet i loved the originality of the moon’s beam and stars. Yes, both. Both is good.

Similar to this topic, matters of choosing a car to sit in would be similar. My eldest brother bought a new car; beautiful, sleek and white. Modern at its finest. I saw the three of my brothers entered the new car and i want in too, but i looked at the other car. Passengers are my parents and my fourth brother. I followed my walking instincts and surprisingly chose the latter. My fourth brother looked scandalised before saying, “If you choose to stay here, i will go to other car then!” Immediately sprinting out and running towards the white car with unimaginable speed; no doubt wanting to be there from the start. I guess his mind thought that giving me a seat there would be nice, a more of a gentleman thing to do.

I sighed as i relaxed againts the old leathers. No offense but sitting there with all of my brothers? No thanks. I mean, i love my brothers, but the thought of sitting with them and engaging myself in awkward conversations would be a pain. Its not that we hate each other, no we don’t. Its just that… Finally able to spend time with your family after a long trip of studying overseas for 10 years or having college or university needs to attend to, its just hard to find time with your family again. This year, this year is finally that year. My eldest brother had finished his studying and so did my third brother, currently settling themsleves with official jobs. The second one is in his last year and is making it his best. The fourth is still studying, far away from home i might add, but is on his holiday break. And lastly, me, finally out here with open mind and all the awareness of a teenager. I did spend time with them in the past but all of that are just blurry childhood memories that im abviously not living in anymore. I’ve grown, had gotten myself into more situations and had learned a lot of stuff. I am generally a shy girl, even mere so in public. Especially with my family, but lately, i’ve shown improvement myself. I tend to speak more, i made the effort to smile and joke more around their presence. I want to shove down those shy personality and show them what a real person i can be. I want to fill my brother’s holiday break with fun and jokes and happiness they could remember when they go back to their daily routines. Because sometimes, we would fight and they would went back to their routines right after a fight. And we realized that the distance between us grow more and more bigger if we leave it like that behind, until the next time we meet. I hate that. So, i stopped being so quiet and tried to be more open. All of them are different persons with different personas, i made the effort to understand them all. People probably didn’t know but im very empathatic, i know when they’re angry, annoyed or any kind of emotions. The slight shift of stiff shoulders down to the bright smiles that they would send. I recognize it all. Which is why small communications, small gifts and small interactions always meant bigger to me, more than anything you could ever think of. I always made the effort, but sometimes i could be tired too.

I watched more and more buildings and amazing structures pass. Before finally entering the right shop corner and the place here was amazing. The building’s structures would always amaze me. The place is bright with white pristine walls and clean roads with fancy new and old cars parking at the side. My father said something about “the place being very big yet quiet and had this serene and calm atmosphere”. He’s right tho. It is calm compared to the other similar places that i’ve been.

We got out and start our hunt, looking for the right restaurant to eat. We stood at the communal area of the shop corner, walking by with endless compliments about the place being “so pretty” and “so fancy” like “wow, look at that lake over there”. We’re not the only excited family to enter the place it seems. Childrens run by with their parents carrying a toddler of a 4 years old. Cousins, nephews and families alike would smile and laugh; looking at the other with their knowing smiles. The place feels so comforting and alive at night, im letting myself being bathed into these comforting presence of others with a soft inhale.

We walked past a few more restaurants and shops while chattering idly and laughing at silly jokes. Not minding a bit about other presence being in the same room. We have our own bubble.

We found a restaurant, an arabic cuisine. My mother’s favourites. The restaurant was near the lake. We could see it from where we stood by the restaurant’s entrance. Making a choice to sit outside or inside, we chose outside. Father said “we could feel the outside a bit more if we do!” The walkway at thelakeside however, had these beautiful small lighting-up cars (or is that bycicle?) that drive themselves around the lake. A car even turned Ed Sheeran - Shape Of You on. I immediately fell in love. Humming myself to the song, i sat down at the very end of the long table. (I discovered the song from a meme, thats why i love it)

We placed our orders and waited for the foods to arrive. Conversations broke out and i find myself tapping on the screen to write more and more of this situation. We waited longer and i realized that my ekdest brither is missing, turnign to my mom i asked, “where’s bro?” And she nods shrugs and looked around. After awhile, i noticed that he must’ve been taking pictures with his phone. Damn photography instincts. I made a mental note to ask for his photos later. What. He took beautiful pictures.

Orders are starting to arrive at our table and they began to eat. Only mine had yet to arrive. (Along with my eldest brother, but i didnt notice that yet.) I whispered, “i think i have been forgotten by the waiter.” to my mother as i stole her meat. She laughs at that and slides the plate a little more to my side. “You can steal my grilled meat later when it arrives.” She laughs even more. I dipped the meat into the chili sauce and moans at the spicyness. I mentioned that i liked eating more spicy foods now.

I sipped at my Banana and Milk and recieved a crepe with stuffings on the inside from my father. I accepted it and ate it. At first it was fine, until i bite the green chili. That sunavabiscuit- i sipped the banana milk like my life depended on it. My family stared, amused at the sight of the banana milk being consumed out of sheer will. “You should really save that for later when you meal arrives.” I look scandalised at the comment before pushing the drink away. It took not even a second before the burn in my tongue starts to rekindle back to life and the slurping begins. My family is forever amused and i am not. I looked at my father with this image of a betrayed young lady, and mumbles, “i am betrayed…” He laughs, eyes twinkling in laughter, and asked softly “Why? Is it too spicy?” I squint harder, “Green chilies are my enemies.” He looked shocked before looking back at the stuffing, “huh, you’re right there are green chillies in here.” Though the eyes never stopped twinkling. I have never doubted a sentence so hard in my life. Liking more spicy foods now, tch, yeah right.

More comments and jokes being passed around the table, the plates are starting to look empty of food. The waiter finally arrived with two plates. One for me and the other for my eldest brother. What a coincidence that we both ordered grilled meats. Only he ordered beef and mine was chicken. My hunger and impatient shows through the way i gobbled up the food in my mouth, set of utensils being ignored. The only excuse being, “I don’t need these.”

Amused glances now and then, what is this, the Amusement Park? My mother stole a piece of the meat and i looked at her with betrayal, “You stole it.” She laughs and said, “You stole my meat earlier, you know.” I looked at her through my squinting eyes, “From what i recall, i asked at least more nicer than you did and you let me.” She laughs even more at that.

Our meals finished and i ended up sharing it with my father, i don’t really eat the Roti. I searched for a bowl of soup left on the table and found one, only a quarter left. I poured it over the dry meat and ate it. Much better. My father saw this and looked around the table before reaching for a bowl of more soup. He poured it at my chicken and i’ve never been more in love. We continued eating, him commenting about how the chili sauce tasting really weird. I agreed saying that “It tasted more like it came out of a bottle from a convenience store.” My mother looked confused, reaching in for a taste and i shielded the the sauce, “Don’t mom, its really really weird, you do NOT want to taste it.” She just reaches in for the garlics and ate it.

The meals finally finished and i got up to wash my hand. At the entrance of the door it says ‘pull’ when i was about to push. Daring me to do otherwise. I groaned out a, “Fine, i will pull.” and walked in. “Even if the push woulda been the same…” I grumbled.

I walked out to the table and sat down. I immediately saw people holding comes of ice cream and i got up. “Mom, are those free ice creams? Can i get them?” My mother shrugs and lets me buy it if i want to. I went around the table and instead of the ice cream stand, i walked to my eldest brother instead. “Bro,” he hums a “What do you want human?” I looked at the ice cream stand seriously, “Are thos eice creams free?” He laughed when he looked up, “Sis, nothign in thsi world is free, its a fact.” Nonetheless i still looked at the ice cream stand in determination. “Im gonna check it out.” I started walking and he said to stop and i did. “You want to buy them?” I nodded. “If its not free..” He took out his wallet and handed me some money, “Go buy it with this.” I took it and turned back to the ice cream stand, mumbling again, “if its not free..”

I eneded up ordering the biggest one.

Walked back to the table and shoves the ice cream at my third brother’s face and says smugly with so much pride, “Don’t be jealous.” He looked at the ice cream, mouth agape. “Woah, dude. Share some with me man.” I extend it to him but he refused, “Nah, nevermind, im too full.” I shrugges and continued licking as my mother and my brother continues to take pictures as they comment about the ice cream.

Later on, when we walked back to our cars. My excitement immediately replaces itself with sorrow and sadness. This is it. I walked a bit more slower. Its over. I looked down on the ground. The nights over and we’ll be back to our daily routines. I sighed and watched my family chats idly with each other. Smiles broke out and laughters were heard. I smiled softly at the image. I liked watching moments liek this from afar. I don’t care if im not in the picture, just watching them is enough for me. I sighed.

I just… I wished this night would stay a bit longer. Its a normal night out, really. But, seriously, to me. Its more than that.

I just… Really want this moment to stay.

I looked up and remembers that moments dont always last forever, the world would always move on.

So i took the moments and cherish them in my heart. As small as it may seem to others. I looked at the cheery smiles on their faces. It means a whole lot to me.

I thought, “Hey, maybe the lost earphone wasn’t so bad after all…”

(I know, its long. But who cares. shrugs i sure dont.)