#does finding this much cash money make me rich…?

[funkyyychicken5000]

Help— I just spent the last hour scrounging through my shelves/dressers and bags, and found thirty dollars! I cannot pay for more food for this week, but I can pay for my insanely overpriced uniform for public school. What a wonderful economy. 😭

[marked-questions]

VIP | Deadpool+Wolverine x Stripper reader 16+. Part 1(maybe)

cw: three-way(?), alcohol, hair pulling, blowjob/s, swearing, light mask play, John Doe's/unknown names (?)

Good money, good quickies, good sex. It was a loop throughout the week. Tips were what you were really yearning for this week, knowing guys have been very picky with who gets extra pay recently. But no biggie, it was what you worked for; the cash, the adrenaline, the bragging.

Make-up, see through clothing, and pole practice. What else was there to it? The sex could be better, but hey, somebody's gotta fuck the rich, white drunkies.

Tonight was booming. It was a Friday of all days; Fridays mean big bank, Fridays mean bigger private rooms, and especially bigger dicks.

Tonight was your lucky night. You were in charge of a VIP room, assigned to a drunkie and his lackey.

You slipped into the private room, right before the two arrived, taking notice of the area around you. Low lights in a deep, burgundy red covered the area. A long, dark-colored couch rested along the wall, with three different bottles of alcohol on the glass table in front of it. And in front of the table was a pole, nice and shiny just for you, as well as two chairs in front of the walkway near the silk curtain entryway.

You walk over to the pole, grazing your hands against the cold metal. It felt good, the temperature on your delicate fingers. It was like bliss in all of the drunken chaos you find yourself in, having to fuck mindless men, women and anyone wanting to be craved without a label.

You grasped onto the pole, curving and twisting around it swiftly, your right hand gripping onto the pole behind you, as your upper body leaned forward, your ass feeling the cold sensation of the pole.

Your body snaked around the pole, swaying to the music; watching the door. Two guys stepped in, one with an irritated look on his face and a Scotch bottle in his hand, and his lackey, you assumed-- was the other with a Deadpool mask on. You wondered if this was some sort of Roleplay, and you were the only one who wasn't notified of it.

The Lackey was shirtless, what you assumed was a skin condition spotted his body. Not that you minded, it turned you on how it made him more attractive. While the other, watched your body squirm around the pole, taking a chug of his Scotch, as he sat down in a chair. Sitting down, Lackey caught your attention, beckoning at you with a finger. "Don't be shy now, go ahead and introduce yourself. I wanna know who I'll be fucking tonight.."

You walk over to them both confidently, "My friends call me Domino." Drunkie sucked his teeth.

"Enough talkin' doll, on your knees. Let's get this shit over with." He starts to unzip his pants, taking yet another chug of his addicting alcohol. You listen, infatuated with how this'll end.

"Oh, Right to it? You must need it more than I do. How long have you been craving pussy? What, 8 years? Fuck, that's a sob story." Lackey teased. Drunkie eyed him, unzipping his pants. "Keep fuckin' testin' me and I'll give ya somethin' to cry about." He responded, adjusting himself in the chair, as you sat on your knees between both chairs. You took both of your hands, slowly sliding both down the shafts of both of their cocks, loving the reactions from both of them. Both of them let out soft moans, never taking their eyes off of you as you stroked them.

You teased, taking Drunkie's thick length in your mouth, while edging Lackey with your thumb on his tip. Your thumb circled around his tip, firm and slow, you could feel him become sticky, pushing deeper into his slit. His groans filled the room, slightly muffled by the mask covering his face. It was bliss to hear the way he ached.

On the other hand, Drunkie watched you, Scotch in his left hand, not much to be heated from him except small heavy breaths. But that eye contact held strong, he watched the way you teased, your tongue overlapping his tip, causing a small groan to come out. That devilish look in his eye, that low hiss he let out every time you went back over his tip,

He was fucking edging you. He was making you work for it.

You picked up speed, bobbing your head, and removing your hand from Lackey, you made sure he felt the back of your throat, causing him to groan. Taking ahold of the back of your head and your hair with his furry arms, he pushed your head all the way down onto his length, taking him completely into your throat. His pubes brushed against your nose about 15 times, before he removed you off of his cock. Saliva ran down your chin, you coughed a fuckton trying to regain yourself, as tears ran down your face.

Eyes blurry, you knew your makeup was smeared, but fuck, that dick was a little too good.

In your side view, you watched Lackey jerk himself off, watching the both of you.

"Use your tongue more, he fucking loves that shit.." he spilled out between breaths, stroking his length faster. You listened, trying your best to wrap your tongue around his girthy cock, not knowing if it'll do any damage.

"go ahead baby, use one hand, make him cum all over that pretty face.." Lackey groaned out, his tip pumping with pre. "fuck, watching you put your pretty lips on him like that..., I'm feeling a little jealous.. am i next or..? 'Cus, I volunteer, holy shit..."

Drunkie gripped the Scotch bottle tight, throwing his head back as he pumped your mouth full of his length, groaning loudly. His moans were almost growl-like, grunting, he grit his teeth as he busted the Scotch bottle in his hand, blade-like claws stretching through his skin between his knuckles as he released his load into your mouth, overflowing your mouth full of his seed.

Lackey spewed his load as well, cumming all over himself as he watched you make his partner feel good, letting his head drop back over the chair.

You choked, trying to keep all of his cum in his mouth. You swallowed it in a gulp, trying to regain yourself afterwards.

"Holy fuck... When is it my turn?.."

You chuckled, wiping the sides of your mouth clean with your wrist. Panting, you noticed his load was so big, you got cum on your top.

"Spin for me, love. Show me that pretty ass of yours.."

"And uh, while you're at it, take off that thong for me.."

Yes sir.

[julietsbody]

Okay first of all You are amazing and really feeding my obsession over Coryo😵‍💫❤️I love Your fics so much

Second of all…

What are Your thoughts of Coriolanus with spit kink who just loves punishing and degrading reader in public places?

Like pushing you in the nearest empty room to just spank You and spit in Your throat for being a bad girl😵‍💫

a/n : thank you so much!!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა also i love this idea sm… he DEFINITELY loves to humiliate reader! i hope u enjoy this!

tags : orgasm denial , edging , spanking , spitting , spit kink , angry sex , public sex

( divider by mewmyu )

coriolanus snow was your boyfriend, he was a good boyfriend, he showered you in riches when he could, spoil you in expensive roses or all the finest things. he would save up his pocket cash and surprise you with something you had been wishing for when he finally was able to afford it. but, that’s only when you were good to him as well.

when you weren’t, when you refused to wear something he recently bought you, or wore shorter skirts to tease him in public. today was one of these days in which you decided to wear those mini skirts, and god, he hated it. he hated how he could see your ass peaking underneath, because he knew everyone else could as well.

such a slut, it didn’t take long for him to speed - walk after you in the busy academy halls, eventually catching up to you and abruptly taking hold of you. he keeps walking until he finds a nearby empty class, ignoring your questions as he slams you into the classroom.

you breathe against him, “coriolanus? what are you—“

“you wore that on purpose, didn’t you? fucking slut, i spend so much on you, so much fucking money,” he moves to take hold of your jaw, prying your glossed lips apart, “and you make me look like an idiot by showing off your body like this, you want me to look like an idiot?”

“no, no.. i promise, coriolan—“

“don’t call me that.” he snaps immediately, “stick your tongue out.”

so you did, you did anything he wanted you to, and immediately he spat into your mouth without any warning, “swallow.”

the taste of his saliva smooths down your throat as you gulp it down, and your doe eyes peer up at him, “i’m sorry.”

“are you, now?” he chuckles, spinning you around so you’re not pushed, front - first, against one of the nearest desks, “surely you just love to embarrass me, after everything i’ve done for you.”

before you can speak, his hand spikes against your ass, already reddening the skin there. you yelp into the wall, mumbling out incoherent apologies as his hand becomes relentless against your ass, slapping it until the skin is maroon.

tears prick at your eyes, glossing over your dilated pupils.

coriolanus’ eyebrows furrow as his hand moves to pull up your skirt, only to find that you are free of any panties as well. fucking hell. his jaw ticks, “you fucking bitch.”

it doesn’t take long for him to have you bent over the desk, gripping the wood for dear life as he slams into you. he doesn’t respond to any of your incoherent mumbles, or sobs, or sweet apologies. no apology could remedy such slutty behavior, especially when you knew damn well what you were doing.

his fingers lace around your neck, prying you off the desk and pulling you up against his chest, “look at me, you slut.”

his fingers are tight around your neck when you turn to him, rivers burning down your cheeks, puffy lips begging to feel his gentle kisses. but he doesn’t kiss you, of course not, he moves his free hand to pry your lips apart, tugging your tongue out before he harshly spits down your throat one more.

“swallow,” he feels the saliva travel down as you gulp, due to his tight fingers around your neck. it wasn’t enough to constrict you of air, but enough to teach you a lesson. his jaw shifts, “you’re so fucking tight— you gonna cum, hm?”

you nod immediately, moaning against him as he pounds you relentlessly, “yes, yes.. i— ‘m gonna cum— corio—“

“you think you deserve to cum? sweet girl, you’ve made a fool of me, why do you think you’re allowed satisfaction?“ he chuckles, “so entitled, spoiled bitch.”

he takes time to fuck into you until his cum is deep inside of you and you’re whimpering on his dick from your awaited orgasm, and he still doesn’t allow you the pleasure, he just pulls out and allows you to move exhausted against the desk. you breathe heavily, glass tears continuing to fall, “‘m sorry, coryo— please forgive me—“

“no,” he scoffs, tucking his softening dick back into his pants, “see you in debate, and change your fucking skirt.”

[kayesfanfics]

General Striker x Reader Headcanons

He hates too much PDA, only likes it when he’s either jealous or showing you off. Otherwise, refrain from kissing and hugging and all that lovey dovey crap, save it for when the both of you are in private. He’s got a bad boy reputation to hold up, and yes he likes to flaunt you but he doesn’t want to be too affectionate and have people realize you’re a weakness of his, especially with he people he works and deals with

He calls you stuff like darlin, pumpkin, sugar, doll face, sweetheart. You call him cowboy, stud, Casanova, babe, and you save daddy for when you want something cause you can NOT tell me Striker doesn’t refer to himself as daddy in the bedroom I’m sorry-

He really likes showing off for you, showcasing his strength, smooth singing voice, rugged good looks, everything. Will do some hard work for you like any repairs around the house, carrying heavy stuff for you, anything like that. Will cook for you as well, he’s really good at barbecue and def makes the best barbecue sauce you’ve ever tasted, and he’ll proudly smile when you dig into his food. Will sing for you if you ask him enough, yes he’s confident but with you he can be a little bashful since he actually wants you to like him. He’s secretly a big sap though and has probably written a song or two about/for you

Whenever you want to go out, he doesn’t have a ton of money to go crazy but he tries his best to find a less sleazy place where it’s less likely for creeps to hit on you and make you uncomfortable. Def the type to fight you on who pays the bill, and it’s often settled with you agreeing to pay for your own stuff, but then Striker will intercept the waiter and give him the cash to cover the both of you. You know he’s not exactly rich himself so you never expected any big fancy thing from him, but when you have date nights in he’ll make you a really nice candlelit dinner and blush a little when you call him a lover boy

But whenever the two of you do go to bars, he gets pretty protective cause he knows the kind of shit that washes up in these places. He knows you can handle yourself and have been for years before you met him, but he’s here now so he can help you out. So if the bartender gets a little too flirty or another customer gets a little too close to you, you hear the rattle and hiss from Striker as he glared at the person as a warning to back off. If the person doesn’t listen or dares to even lay a single finger on you, he WILL start a bar fight and get kicked out for you, he does NOT like anyone touching what’s his or making you feel uncomfortable and unsafe

You do go days, sometimes weeks without seeing him due to his work, but he’ll call you on his burner phone when he’s free to check in with you. You’re not allowed to call him and don’t ever have his numbers to his phone, just in case because he could get caught or something. Which is fine, cause he always calls you in the evening when he’s winding down for the day to say hi and make sure you’re okay. He’ll listen to you ramble about your day, and sometimes he’ll fall asleep on the phone with you, listening to your voice and you smile when you realize he’s asleep before saying goodnight and hanging up

When he comes home all roughed up, you scold him as you grab the first aid kit, which is often kept out now rather than tucked away under the bathroom sink. He rants about how a guy named Blitz and his other imps keeps beating him, but you could honestly care less as you tend to his wounds for him. He’s extra grumpy but you kiss him on the cheek and he softens up a bit, accepting your offer to head to bed early and cuddle a bit. He’s definitely a cuddler once he softens up with you, loves to have you in his arms and sometimes even lets you hold him instead if he’s in the mood for it. And after a beat down, he wants nothing more than to lay on your chest and let you play with his hair or rub his back as he groans from his sore body

CAMPING DATES. He’s already got all the stuff to spend nights out in the desert for his job, so it doesn’t cost him more money and it’s just the two of you. You’ll both ride Bombproof out into the middle of nowhere with nobody around for miles, setting up a fire and lying against his horse to look up at the sky. He’ll give you his jacket when you get cold, claiming he’s just fine but he’s trying not to shiver so you don’t feel bad. Or you can both cuddle up in a blanket, your head on his shoulder as the two of you chat while he roasts some food for the both of you over the fire, giving the leftover scraps to Bombproof

[simpingresponsibly]

Yess!!! Cowboy dream would be great

We need cowboy dream

I did actually write a Rivals duo cavalry fic that's admittedly a couple years old at this point but does involve Dream and horses <3 I just think it's neat,,

all cowboy Dreams are good cowboy Dreams!!!! here's a snippet that got out of hand for you. because I am who I am it's a bit of a blend between ccDream team and cDream team

--

Dream's used to being on the road. He likes it. Gives him space to think, to plan, to explore. He loves riding horseback, coaxing his girl to go just a bit faster, a bit longer, with an apple from his pack and a pat on the neck. It's a bit lonely, sometimes, but Dream's used to being alone. Even when he was back east, he used to travel long distances between towns to visit his then-girlfriend. He learned to love the ride, even if he doesn't think of her often anymore.

When they told him to go west, young man, he wasn't sure what he would find. It's lonely and big but the sky is there and the stars are close when he sleeps under them at night. Sometimes that's all you need.

Nobody knows who he is when he rolls into town. The bandana covering most of his face, to protect from the dust and the sun, probably helps with that. He's looking for a better life, but all of the grifters who roll through probably are.

He wants to build a homestead, a real community house, to shelter people like him. And against all odds, he manages to scrape up enough money and support to start building it. It's mostly legitimate jobs at first, but anyone who wanders these parts knows that Colonel Beast offers the best wages for the most detestable work.

Rather than help the ex-Confederate maintain his empire, Dream prefers cutting at the flesh of the great beast where it will make him bleed. Because cash seems to run through his veins, it drips straight into Dream's pockets.

Dream's perfected the art of dropping down silently onto the top of passing trains from nearby cliffs and robbing them for all they're worth. Often railway bonds, sometimes weapon stores, sometimes cold hard cash. Sometimes people are the cargo, and he's been known to set free a chain gang or two.

That's how he first meets George; covered in soot and up to his elbows in engine grease on one of the Colonel's steam locomotives. The protective goggles he wore reflected Dream's own masked face back at him as he pointed the barrel of the gun.

Don't want no trouble. Dream had assured him. Just stop this here train so I can alight, you won't ever have to see me again.

That's too bad. George had grinned. I could go for a bit of trouble.

There was room enough on the horse for two, and covered in coal like he was, George blended easily into the night with him. They slept under the rock formations that night, around a low fire. Dream was only mildly surprised that George hadn't decided to rob him blind when he woke.

Sapnap was a surprise: The son of a sheriff with too much to prove and a chip on his shoulder. On his lapel the star still gleamed with polish, glinting in the light. He rode after Dream and George, Wanted poster gripped tightly in one hand.

The sheriff's boy was a fine rider and they were slower on his girl's back with two. Deaf to George's protests, Dream dismounted and sent them on ahead with a slap to the horse's behind, to hide in the skeleton bones of the house they were building.

After he was taken into the jailhouse, Dream saw his opportunity. Whispers exchanged through the bars of a cell door, talking to Sapnap about all the cowardly things in this world and how he didn't have to be one of them. Telling him of adventure and riches and houses with enough beds for three.

When George blew a hole clean through the side of the jail that day, Dream pulled Sapnap along behind him.

Two horses between three of them and home on their minds, they rode out into that blazing sunset. If you were to see them again, well, you'd probably wish you hadn't.

[yerimbrit]

[flufftober day 12, wc: 1k] - shady cemetery cleaning gig : y. jiyoon

AS A HIGHSCHOOLER IN NEED OF CASH, and quick, for whatever reason, you’ve taken to accepting any gigs you can find, and well… let’s just say some of them might be pretty shady as you’d expect. 

that’s how you find yourself at a cemetery, cleaning tombstones and maybe patrolling the area while you’re at it. the job isn’t really the problem, per se, but the shift time is from midnight to five in the morning, and the person who was offering the job just gave you the money (which made your wallet quite a bit heavier) and gave you an address. 

(upon hearing this, jiyoon, your best friend, was extremely concerned and rightfully so. she pauses mid-bite to give you the most confused face you’ve ever seen her make, and lowers her spoon. you stay staring at each other for a moment, and then she sighs and turns in her seat to face you, deadpanning, “you’ve gone mad, haven’t you?”

“what? no,” you drag out the ‘o’, “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

jiyoon narrows her eyes at you. a bead of sweat drips down your temple; her death stare never fails to intimidate you. and so, you concede. somewhat. “okay, well, maybe a bit—but blackpink is touring soon! and i wanna get tickets for both of us…”

because of your reasoning, her gaze softens and your shoulders can finally untense. she takes the bite she didn’t get to eat earlier, and neatly arranges her silverware on the plate it came with from the café. “you’re not gonna make me go like always, are you..?”

“um…”

she politely smiles at you, leaving her share of the bill on the table and standing up. “kim y/n. i am not showing up to a shady cemetery gig you picked up.”)

true to her word, jiyoon unfortunately does not show up at the appointed time, and so you have to do this alone. at midnight. till five am. what a great life you’re living, right? walking around, alone, there’s something strange—all the tombstones are freshly cleaned. like, spotless; you see your own reflection in them when you point your 500 watt flashlight at them.

which is weird, because weren’t you hired to do just that? you even brought a bucket of water and cloths and new sponges, and cleaner fluid you bought specifically for this job. did your employer just randomly want to pay a burgeoning adult almost five hundred bucks for no reason? 

suddenly you’re aware of all of your surroundings. crickets chirp, and your only source of light is your flashlight and a single lamp post some feet away. you sense a presence lurking behind you, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. ‘there shouldn’t be anyone here besides me, there shouldn’t be, oh shit. oh fuck, y/n, on a count of three you run back home as fast as you can. one…’

you feel a gentle tap on your shoulder, and you don’t even turn around to see who or what it is because what the actual fuck, before you scream as loud as you can and alarm the figure who covers your mouth with their hand. you’re forcefully turned around, and—

“ji’hyoon!?” you attempt to exclaim, though your voice is muffled by her hand. she glares and shushes you, taking the hood off of her head.

“shut up, idiot, you’re disturbing the peace!” jiyoon scolds, furrowing her eyebrows at you. “and before you ask, yes i came to check up on you. no, it’s not because i missed you.”

aw, that’s sweet of her. but how did she- “i found this place because you literally texted me the details asking me to come,” she sighs, “it’s way too sketchy; i couldn’t let you go alone.”

you grin lopsidedly, “you’re a softie deep down, aren’t you, yoon jiyoon?”

she doesn’t answer and instead looks around, spotting the bucket of water and unused sponges by your feet. “aren’t you supposed to be working?”

oh, right. there isn’t really much to work on, though. you tell your best friend that, and she frowns in confusion, “wasn’t that your job, though?”

“what i’m saying, girl, why did that rich guy pay me so much if the job was already done?” you place your hands on your hips.

a rustling sound resounds through the air, making the both of you flinch aggressively. your eyes blink rapidly, countless thoughts of panic flooding your mind, “did you hear that?”

jiyoon is just as scared shitless as you, her hand shaking as she grabs yours and clenches the hold as hard as she can. 

a weak voice calls out from the direction of the graves, “help… help me…” 

without thinking, you make a run for it and drag your best friend with you, with only the intent to get as far away as you can. ‘screw the job, i want to live!’

“y/n!” jiyoon yelps in the midst of running, “if we die just know that i’ve loved you since middle school!”

the wild dash comes to a stop, and you have to keel over so you can heave your saving breaths. when you come to, you turn to jiyoon who’s in the same state, “you what!? you love me?” 

the girl’s mouth is agape, processing the words she rashly spat out in fear for her life. she shyly directs her gaze the other way, and mumbles something incoherent that you can’t catch. 

you manage to form a smile on your lips, trying to get her attention by snapping your fingers. except you can’t snap… so you have to clear your throat. “sorry, jiyoon. couldn’t quite hear you there.”

“i said yes! ugh…” she snaps, voice slightly raised a few octaves higher because of her bashfulness. the light of a lamp posts allows you to clearly see the red hot blush that has engulfed her cheeks.

“i’m glad that our life-or-death situation got you to finally confess, idiot,” you reach over to pull her into a playful, crushing hug. “i love you too.”

jiyoon melts into the embrace, sighing in relief from both the news of your reciprocation and the escape from the creepy cemetery. “those blackpink tickets better be worth it.”

“of course they will, i’m gonna get us front-row tickets—you know how good my reflexes are,” you quip, ruffling her hair.

the girl in your arms smiles, “then i trust you, kim y/n.”

“aww, so you are a softie deep down- ah, ahahaha! wait, wait, stop! i surrender, stop tickling me!”

flufftober masterlist!

a/n : this was the most fun to write ilysm yoon jiyoonjiyoonjiyoonjiyoon

[profanepurity]

Mummy Dust was a huge inspiration for how Mammon works in the AU, as well as how the three demons of Greed operate, which consists of Mammon, Beelzebub, and Belphagor (who I will be introduced soon!). A little bit of their working dynamics, as well as their relationships with Secondo and Terzo are below!

There's the obvious imagery of "I was carried on a wolf's back", which to me alludes to the symbolic relationship of wolves and greed. This is why I chose to make Mammon's more demonic form a wolfish creature with eight legs and eight eyes (wolf spider lol) in the second panel. Beelzebub's form is more ambiguous and massive, and he would probably present himself on a larger scale than I have him next to Secondo in the first panel. His mouth can open absurdly wide, and he has various other mouths along his body. The Lord of Flies of course possesses some bug-like characteristics and behaviors: constantly being accompanied by glowing insects, moving on all fours legs, sometimes six, and having moth-like wings. Mammon and Beelzebub operate like "two sides of the same coin", much like how I HC Terzo and Secondo to be in a lot of ways. Secondo allows himself to enjoy the pleasures of life, often as a means to cope with internal wounds and his discontent towards the world around him. On the flip side, Terzo uses his internal conflicts and struggles to fuel his pursuit of condemning hypocrisy, injustice, and corruption in the world, finding pleasure in that act. Secondo does this too, of course, but he does it in a way that is melancholy, weary almost. Secondo's approach to "spreading the word" is to appear as this cold, intimidating old man, but who really has a soft, bruised soul inside. By contrast, Terzo appears as this charming and attractive man, spinning beautiful lyrics with hidden self- hatred and anger. When they were boys, these roles were reversed. Secondo would often lash out as a child, holding onto resentment and emotions he didn't know how to process until he eventually learned to soften with age. Once again, on the opposite side, Terzo was a very happy boy who suffered oppression and hardship repeatedly until that happiness turned into masked anger for the sake of maintaining an image. In this AU, Secondo is devoted to the three proprietors of the umbrella sin of greed, and has an especially close relationship with Beelzebub and Mammon. It wasn't until Terzo entered early adulthood did Mammon approach him. The Lord of Wealth working with someone like Terzo might seem a little confusing until you understand the way the wolf hunts. Going back to Mummy Dust for a moment, Mammon's method of obtaining and devouring sin can really be summarized with the line, "I'm the magnet for stupidity". Mammon represents rapacity, and he feeds off of intense desire for monetary profit, but he himself find it to be disgusting and stupid. Mammon likes to let his victims marinate a bit. "I'll smother you in riches, 'til you choke on sordid mirth.", is essentially Mammon tempting weak minded pigs with their desires just to lure them into their own demises. He attracts those who are dumb enough to worship money so he can devour them. He literally eats the rich. He is "... the ruler of the earth" for that reason, as money is the ultimate dictator over mankind.

Mammon himself is also someone that holds a lot of underlying self hatred because of who he is. He feels as though his existence is the reason that immorality and corruption as a result of avarice exists, and feels an intense personal responsibility to try and purge the world of it by taking as many victims as he can. This is why he strictly forbids the church from worshipping him, or giving him any kind of offerings of cash. Once Terzo understood this, he was more than happy to work with a demon that wanted to tear apart exploitative oligarchies, who also happens to have a good sense of humor. In the AU canon, he opens Mummy Dust by introducing it as a song about "one evil motherfucker" for the purpose of negatively presenting Mammon as the noun, as well as making sure the song was not worshipping the demon in anyway, despite his obvious influence when he wrote it. Terzo is "carried on a wolf's back", alluding to his partnership with Mammon. Beelzebub is one of the most worshipped infernals in the church, second only after Lucifer. He represents hedonism, and the pleasure, benefits, and freedom that gluttony can bring. We all know Secondo loves to party, and that enjoyment of self- indulgence is something he learned as a result of his relationship with Beelzebub. You have to learn to care for yourself and allow yourself enjoyment, even when you feel like you don't deserve it, or life has denied you happiness. Of course, Beelzebub had to teach Secondo the balance of discipline and intemperance, but the demon himself also struggles with this. Along with that, there is a guilt that he carries for living in excess, especially next to his brother who starves himself.

 Beelzebub's alias is Reverend Martin Avarice. Avarice means to have extreme desire for money and material. Mammon's alias is Reverend Erik Lucrum. Lucrum means to profit or benefit. I gave them opposing names on purpose. In the realm of greed, Beelzebub is really the one that profits, where as Mammon is the one desiring those that possess avarice, despite despising it.  Belphagor comes into play in a lot of different ways, often bridging these two together. He works work with Terzo, Secondo, and Copia too. There will be more on him later when I get around to drawing him at some point lol.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Dead Friend Forever: Ep. 5

I want to talk briefly about today’s episode of Dead Friend Forever and how smart I think it is being as we had towards the midpoint of the show. I was worried that 12 episodes was going to be too long for a slasher show, and that still could be the case, however episode 5 and from teh looks of it episode 6 are backstory focused, allowing for some breathing room from the murder and chaos that is currently occuring. 

An I for one think they are being really smart with it. I love how we have spent four episodes knowing very little information about the characters, we know something happened, we have every reason to be suspicious of everyone, but we have spent four episodes being allowed to establish our own impressions and relationships with each character. I have always hated Top (but attribute quite a lot of that towards not liking the actor), I liked Fluked in the first episode, and then he started turning creepy. I love White, Por has seemed like a rich asshole from the beginning, and I have been suspicious of but ultimately been enjoying and lowkey rooting for Tee primarily because of his relationship with White. 

But now I hate him. Oh I hate him so much. I had to sit here for an hour watching all of these boys, but especially Por, Top, and Tee exploit the fuck out of Non. Tee set Non up to make it look like he broke the camera and then preyed on Non’s poverty to rope him in to the money laundering(?) scheme. Which actually….this is probably cause I just listened to the ‘Tens and Chops’ episode of The Conversation and was reminded of the absolute target that was the abandoned opportunity to discuss class disparities…but Dead Friend Forever seems to be taking the consequences of fucking with poor people for your own amusement. 

Por, Top, and Tee exploit Non’s desire to join an in-group, and work him to the bone writing and re-writing, and re-writing, and re-writing, and re-writing the script, probably overusing his medication, getting no sleep, absolutely exhausting himself, and then the second they have what they need out of him, they are back to treating him like shit, leaving Jin to bridge the kindness gap and Fluke to remain quiet. Top breaks the camera, and Tee comes up with the plan to frame Non for it. 

And it’s the thing I found interesting because we haven’t fully figured out why the boys hate Non so much, we can assume it’s just that they found a poor person to pick on, based on the nickname that he has. But Tee seems, to me, to have some additional layer of feeling on top of his general group think. Now, I found it interesting that Por is holding Non responsible for the damage to his camera, and demanding 200,000 bhat from Non an impossibly high sum of money for Non and his family and a stressor so large that Non almost kills himself over it. But Por isn’t actually the person the most directly responsible for causing that level of emotional distress, because Top and Tee set up the situation in the first place so Por wouldn’t find out that Top broke it. 

And Tee goes an additional step further, in his own desperation to maintain a steady cash flow for himself from his uncle, by exploiting the situation he caused with Non to get him to open a bank account that will assist Tee and his family in continuing their illegal business operations. Por is a rich asshole, Top is just an asshole, but Tee? Tee is a calculated asshole. I love what they are setting up with Fluke as well, because he saw Top break the camera, and was told to keep his mouth shut. He knows how unfair this entire situation is, he sees how distressed Non is, you know based on the fact that he literally flicks Top off because he doesn’t agree with what Top and Tee are doing, but he does not speak up. If Non had killed himself that evening, Fluke’s silence would have made him just as much of a contributor to the situation as Tee and Top for setting it up. 

And from my perspective, it looks like they are setting up a potential predatory plotline between the evening tutoring teacher and Non. And if that were to be seen through, it would be Por, whose desire to control every aspect of Non’s life while he worked on the script, who would have some culpability of putting Non in to the situation, considering he paid for Non to attend the classes. I have not gone back yet, but I do plan to do so, to watch Episode 1 with the new information and insight I have in to these characters from today’s episode. But I know @ginnymoonbeam has actually gone back to watch the first episode and found the dynamics between characters so much more distinct with the new information. I love  that. I love that this show is setting up a situation where there is something important to be gained from rewatching the show. I have no idea if this show will stick the landing, I still am not quite sure how they are going to swing 7 more episodes of it, I think the writing could be stronger. BUT so far they have structured their show and especially today’s episode very wisely.

Anyway, props to this show for making me change my min in a single episode because now I am sitting happily aboard the Fuck Them Kids train. Murder that og friend group with an axe. Let Por bleed out from the tree branch. Let Top get possessed. Don't care, they deserve it.

[fizzywashere87]

You'll Always Have Me [and ur money] (HC's)

notes: i'm kinda a dumbass. This was originally requested by @snipersiniora and everything after that is a long story. (the original ask got deleted because of my dumbassery) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING!!! <3 btw this isn't proofread <3

M.List

RotTMNT HC's with a sweet!rich!reader gf who lost her family and only has their turtle bf left

rise! Raph-a-doodle

You're a sweetheart, Raph loves you very much

He cherishes everything you give to him

You thought of him and cared enough to use your money on him?

Every time you see him, you can smell his love stink -yeah it's a thing and i made the rules

You give him (and most likely his brothers) allowances and honestly? They help tons

He does his very best to take care of everything you give him big man is clumsy

He appreciates you soooo much, he's smitten

Raph loves going to your place, it's so nice and it's a great break from underground

I imagine he sleeps over a lot

He's so protective of you, making sure nobody hurts you it's New York, being rich is hazardous iykwim

Raph is pretty dense sometimes, he might miss small details

On this topic, he might not notice when you're clingier than usual, but if you seem extra sad he'll pick up on it

Why're you sad?

If you tell him, he'll let you cry on him, and he'll assure you that you'll always have him

If he finds out by himself, he may have wished you told him but we can't change that anymore can we?

You lost your family, he's going to make sure you'll always have him

He sleeps over a lot more now, and has you sleep at the lair some nights

You're never alone unless you want to be

Raph is always there for you and he always will be and your money keeps supplying

rise! Neon-Leon

Spoiling Leo is extra fun ion know why

You get him stupid little gifts or they could be designer clothing

ion know

He's extremely protective of you and insists on walking/portalling you to and from wherever

He loves how sweet you are and he cherishes you

He'll make gold digger jokes which obviously he doesn't mean whatsoever bitch.

He expresses his gratitude for your gifts, allowances, and everything spice and nice :)

When you spoil him, he spoils you in hugs, kisses, and cuddles! :D

He's such a silly bitch boy!

Leo's also one to sleep over at your place a lot preferably sleeping in your bed because he's a little shit

He spends your allowances on stupid shit btw, but he finds them useful "Leo why tf did you buy this?" *a rubber duck that's blue* "It matches my charismatic personality!"

Leo picks up on things fairly quickly so he can figure out pretty quickly if something was ever off one day

On this topic, he notices when you're clingier, and when you seem extra sad

He'll confront you about it but whether you tell him or not is your choice

If you choose to tell him he's going to hold you in his arms and let you cry it out

He is also one to never let you be alone, no matter what he's doing he's going to find a way to keep you by him

He'll make sure you know that you'll always have him and you can always fall on him.

He'll make jokes to try and make you less sad

Anything you need he's got it for you

Will let you talk about your family if that's what you need -he'll nod along and comment when needed to show you he's listening

If he finds out he's also one to wish you would've told him

He's not mad at you but he doesn't want you keeping allat inside

Leo loves you so much and he'll make sure you know that you'll always have him and your money

rise! Othello Von Ryan

okay

You have cash, he does expensive things

Maybe you could ahhh

Help a guy out??

You supply him with expensive parts for his tech

Buy him purple jackets that aren't hijacked please he needs a lil extra help with that btw

Spoil him, buy him certain things he needs for his lab, the equipment has never looked shinier without your help

If you do this, Donatello's forever grateful, he'll probably do a happy dance

He's also very protective of you, though I wouldn't say he's SO protective

He'll make sure you get home safe, and he probably has your location -not to be creepy or anything, he just has it

Likes hanging out with you at your place but I honestly see him as someone wanting to stay at his place

He does appreciate how nice it is though, and how it's a good break from the sewers

He loves your sweetness, though he'll never admit it bad boy persona my left ass cheek

He definitely makes you little trinkets or a piece of tech to make your life easier

It's his way of giving back

Donnie is emotionally constipated but he's observant

He notices when something's wrong even if he doesn't know how to go about it

He'll keep an eye on you, and he might confront you about it

If you choose to tell him, he'll get you everything you need and he'll attempt to comfort you

If you need company? You got it.

He'll give you cuddles too because he doesn't mind touch from you he's probably touchstarved anyways

He'll keep you in his lab so you don't have to be alone

Donnie doesn't really know how to give you verbal reassurance without being awkward but he shows it

If he finds out, he won't be mad at you for not saying anything, and he'll pretty much do anything you want you're his sweet bby

You can sleep easy knowing he's not going anywhere neither is your money pooks

rise! Magic Mike

OMGIE PLEASE SPOIL HIM

Buy him random shit honestly he'll cherish it

God forbid anything happen to anything you've ever bought him "This is a job for Dr. Delicate Touch!" "Mikey no!"

He's big on keeping you safe, but I don't see him as the type to go to EXTREMES unless he feels like he has to for your safety

He is always one call away ofc

Stoppp he always sleeps at your place

He says it's so nice and cozy aww bby <333

Buy him art supplies and he'll draw you :0

Your sweetness makes him extra sweet tbh

Cuddles are all the time because he loves you and your money

When you give him gifts he gives you art and makes you foodddd

You buy random shit that made you think about him

Grocery shopping for him too LMAO

Mikey maybe lack observance but his emotional intelligence is higher than yours I can tell you that with a bucket on my head while shit comes out of the sky

He's going to notice if your rich little self is sadder than sad

Of course he's going to ask about it he wants to know why you're sad!

If you choose to tell him, he'll listen to every word you say

As distracted as he gets Mikey's an active listener when it comes to you

His heart breaks for you and he wants to take you everywhere now

He's going to let you cry on him, cuddle, and even sleep gah dam

Yeah, he gives you reassurance

He's not going anywhere and he's going to make sure you know

You're not allowed to be alone anymore if he can help it

He loves you soooo much!!

If he finds out himself, he's going to talk to you about why you should have maybe said something

It's fine if you didn't want to though but he'd rather you communicate your feelings

Mikey's probably the best at comfort out of all of them he's a little shit with therapists as alter egos tf?

They're all cuties but i think he might be the cutest in this situation

You both are lil cinnamon rolls, so cute <3 I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!

[notfinancialadvice]

How I Built an Emergency Fund, inspiration I deeply hope is helpful

As the blog URL says, this is not financial advice. This is how I did this thing, and I am posting it here, publicly, in hopes that it helps you should you need this information.

In short: Remix this advice to what fits your life + do not sue me if this goes poorly for you. This is for Americans, if you do not live in America and/or your money is not in America, I hope this is a useful base.

None of these links are affiliate links.

I write these things as a mental shift. I like to ramble and I wish I had someone tell me this stuff 20+ years ago. I'm hoping this helps you.

This is an incredibly long post so I'm putting it under a KEEP READING.

This post goes over two stages: "short term + not life-or-death" and "long term + actual life or death"

Part 01: SHORT TERM + NOT LIFE-OR-DEATH FUND

You need to find a high yield savings account that is FDIC insured. Ally is a popular bank for this.

Functionally, the only difference between a "high yield savings account" and "savings account" from the giant conglomerate bank down the street is the interest rate.

I do not know why non-high-yield savings accounts exist. I'm guessing because legally they can, and I hate it.

Moving away from my personal socioeconomic views to return to advice.

"FDIC insured" is not something you pay for. It is nearly universal on savings accounts. If a savings account, or a checking account, does NOT have it, then you should not put your money there. Something is wrong with that bank.

FDIC means if your bank goes out of business, your account is insured up to $250,000, per account, by the government. So if your bank goes out of business, the government makes sure you still have your cash (up to $250k).

A high-yield savings account means your cash is available whenever you need it.

Other products, like CDs, exist, but this ramble is designed to be as simple and starter as possible. Begin with a high yield savings account, build up from there as you do your own research + compare this to your needs.

Do not accept an account that has minimum balances. Do not open an account with monthly fees.

Touch this account as little as possible.

For every $1 you put in, every month, a few pennies will materialize. It's not much, but the main point is at every level, your money works for you.

Rich people do this. You can too.

Touch this account as little as possible.

You can have multiple savings accounts.

I personally have a savings account in the above structure designed for "oh hell I am kinda screwed, but will be okay, just need a buffer."

"How much should I have in there?" you might ask. Common advice says "3-6 months expenses" which is a lot. I say "start with literally $1 and continue as you can until comfortable with what is possible, for you, at this time."

Will $1 make you rich? No.

Will it save your life in a bad situation? Probably not.

Does this $1 essentially become a tiny robot that is making you money for as long as it is docked into its cargo bay? ...weird metaphor but we'll go with it, sure.

Ultimately is it a start? Yes.

You can have multiple savings accounts. You can have a savings account "this is for short term emergencies" and "this is for... slightly less short term" etc.

It costs you nothing to have multiple. They all operate in the same way. It's handy to have them all at the same bank because it can make transferring cash easier.

Part 02: LONG TERM + ACTUAL LIFE-OR-DEATH FUND WITH RISK SO BE CAREFUL

Once you have your savings account set up, and it's being funded on a regular basis (every week, every paycheck, every month, every quarter -- whatever works for you), look into creating a second, bigger, more dangerous-term cash reserve.

I like my Roth IRA. This is a link to a proper finance blog that has a lot of details. I am trying to make this handy/simple to get started.

401ks and (non-Roth) IRAs are funded with pre-tax dollars, frequently in conjunction with your job.

Normally, cash goes from job -> government takes a slice -> you.

Pre-tax retirement accounts, cash goes from job -> retirement takes the percentage you decide -> government takes a slice of what is left -> you

Roth IRAs, job -> government takes a slice -> you -> Roth IRA

The benefit to pre-tax retirement accounts being, because the cash going in is pre-tax, there is more of it.

It can grow faster in the stock market or other places your particular fund allows you to put cash into.

The taxes come out when you withdraw -- usually retirement -- because if you withdraw before you retire, you are heavily penalized with extra fees.

That's why Part 02 is a ROTH IRA. Your money has already been taxed -- job -> government's slice -> you -> Roth IRA.

This means the money is yours, already taxed. If you withdraw the gains, those get taxed, but the base, that's yours.

If you invest $100 and it grows to $105, you can withdraw $100 without paying fees or taxes. If you withdraw that extra $5, that is when taxes start to come into play. If you withdraw $100, and leave the $5, the $5 continues to grow, and that extra growth is taxed if withdrawn. So try not to touch it (ideally you leave all of it until retirement).

This is why this is an emergency, life-or-death only, account. You tap it only when you need to when all other choices are wretched and ruinous.

There is an annual limit as to how much money you can put into a Roth IRA (several thousand bucks).

You can start them very small. Like $20 or maybe less.

Look for a bank or institution that does not charge fees to open and maintain one.

AT EVERY STEP YOU SHOULD BE AVOIDING FEES

Here are smart people talking about ideas on how to get started.

Okay, so, what do we do now with this fancy roth thing.

Here is where things get... uncomfortable.

A Roth IRA is an account type.

You need to do something with your money.

The reason you have this in addition to, and secondary to, your high-yield savings account is because this is an investment vehicle, the balance is going to go up and down, and may reach $0.00.

For my Roth IRA, I like "exchange traded funds" -- ETFs.

There are a lot of options -- you can invest in most anything

Because my Roth IRA is built for "help me I'm dying" emergencies, I invest in a mix of S&P 500 index funds and small-cap funds.

SO MANY WORDS.

Let's break this down what this means.

S&P 500 index funds: This is an index fund of giant, giant, giant companies.

An index fund is like a stock. But instead of a single company, it tracks (owns shares of) an index -- like the DOW or Nasdaq. Or countries. Or... the entire market for oil. Etc.

The metaphor isn't completely accurate, but I like to think of it as "an index fund is a company that owns tiny bits of other companies."

Like, okay, say you have SlimeIndexFund and a share price is $40.

In this example, SlimeIndexFund owns $10 worth of "BardCo" and $10 of "ThiefCo" and $10 of "MermaidCo" and $10 of "EvilCo".

Let's say EvilCo does a lot of evil and is now worth $15, and MermaidCo does a lot of mermaid stuff and is now worth $15, and BardCo sings out of tune so is now worth $5. ThiefCo is oddly at the same $10 but we're scared so we're leaving ThiefCo to stay at $10.

A share in SlimeIndexFund is now worth $45. ($5 BardCo + $10 ThiefCo + $15 EvilCo + $15 MermaidCo)

This is diversification

Because I bought an index fund, instead of just buying BardCo, my risk is less.

Had I bought all MermaidCo, my return would be higher -- but this is a much bigger risk.

The entire purpose of this set up of a Roth IRA is TO MINIMIZE RISK.

Your Roth IRA should allow you to buy "fractional shares" and if it doesn't fuck that bank, go somewhere that does.

In the above example, SlimeIndexFund is $40/share and at that price you are getting the full benefit of 1 share.

Let's say you have $10.

You buy a fractional share of SlimeIndexFund for $10, which is 25% of 1 share.

So when SlimeIndexFund shares raise from $40 -> $45, your fractional share goes from $10 -> $12.50.

Not all funds and stock shares (etc) have fractional shares, most do.

It's a great way to start and build.

Small-cap funds: These operate in literally the same way. The difference is the companies are (in comparison) much smaller. They tend to be more nimble.

So I am diversifying between "here is a fund, it has a lot of large companies" and "here is a fund, it has a lot of small companies."

Let's say Big Office Building real estate goes down, but the sale of Small Company Making waffles goes up. This mixes together and I'm less in danger of losing money, or losing much money.

You can pick individual stocks.

The reason it is not recommended, by nearly everyone, is because the market has incredible tools and power over individual stocks.

By using any kind of fund that bundles things together, you are thereby automatically using these tools by proxy

It is critical to understand this is the stock market. Your account will go up and down. It may go down A LOT, like 25%, and take years to recover. Maybe it goes down 100% to literally $0.00.

That's why this is the LAST RESORT EMERGENCY FUND.

So why are we doing this.

This feels... wrong?

The potential for growth is significantly higher than a savings account. Adjusted for inflation, somewhere in between 6-7%.

At this rate, if you can leave your initial deposit alone for somewhere between 10 - 13 years, it has doubled.

This equation recalculates every time you make a deposit. So if you can deposit $20 every pay check, it has the potential to grow very quickly.

As above, this is the stock market, so it can also get wiped out.

But given the stock market has historically always recovered, though it may take several years, the risk is worth it to me + a lot of other people.

The reason this is built as a last-resort cash bucket is because of this risk. Before moving into this arena, you should have other cash buckets as a buffer.

Your RISK is it goes down. Which it will frequently.

Your REWARD is if it goes up. Which historically it has far more than it went down.

The PURPOSE of using funds as described above is so you don't have try to guess who the next Amazon is and wind up picking the next Pets.com (which went out of business, like, a long... long time ago).

The people making the funds figure out who is Amazon and who is Pets.com and work, day and night, to make your money grow and/or protect it when outside influences are hurting the market.

They are incredibly equipped to do this and their literal livelihood is on the line when they do it poorly.

Which is a polite way of saying, they are continuously incentivized above all else to work for the fund you're investing in.

The reason you're doing this in a Roth IRA specifically is you're hoping to keep as much of it intact, as possible, until you retire, at which point -- if you've followed fairly simple rules -- you withdraw the base and gains tax-free.

Whereas money in a normal stock account? Those gains are taxable every year.

"I have literally $20 I can save per pay check! Can I put in $15 into a high-yield savings account and $5 into a Roth IRA to get started?!"

Yes!

Also, congrats! You're diversifying already!

Your Roth IRA broker should allow you to invest a minimum of $1 at a time, and buy fractional shares. If they don't, don't sign up with them!

Lean heavily into your high-yield savings account until that is very comfortable and thick, then push money into the Roth IRA.

Your goal is to build a system that works for you -- both literally (money working for you) and emotionally ("this is comfortable")

"Should I pay off debt before proceeding? A lot of people say to pay off excess debt first."

This is up to you.

Most financial blogs etc. do say "focus on paying off debt first" -- it's good advice, your returns are risk-free and permanent, since the lower your debt is, the less you have to pay over time.

Interest -- working for you or against you -- is continuous and eternal.

Personally, I like to diversify everything, so I not-financial-advice ramble "do all three -- pay down debt, throw a little cash into a high-yield savings, throw a little cash into a Roth IRA"

The problem with "pay off debt first" is that it misses out any occasional giant gains the stock market makes (Roth IRA) and introduces the risk of "I have paid this credit card on time for 5 years, I'm short on change for 3 months due to a situation that gets resolved quickly, and now I have a late payment fee, and a higher interest rate."

Look at your life, finances, and potential future and make decisions!

And also:

Always be on the look out for deals with banks. Sign up bonuses, referral links from friends, etc. Think of it as a money sale.

If you are not comfortable with the idea of a Roth IRA hitting $0.00 potentially, do not do step 02. These are ideas, not directives.

All financial tools can be used for different purposes. All of them. Thus -- these are ideas, not directives.

I am listing a few examples of banks, funds, etc. These are not recommendations nor are they affiliate links. They are listed because I want to maximize your start on this path, but caution, in strongest possible terms, you must do your own research and figure out what makes sense for you.

There are a lot of nuances I am paving over for the sake of simplicity, which is why I am continually saying...

...c'mon say it with me...

...you must do your own research before continuing

Smart, free sites that cover this + a lot of other stuff:

NerdWallet

Bank Rate

One final note about Roth IRAs:

Robinhood currently is offering a 1% match on an IRA. Considering the strict limits of how much an IRA can intake per year, it's not much, but it doesn't cost you anything. Money on sale!

As a final note -- always feel comfortable asking people handling your money for help. They are working for you. Your money works FOR YOU.

If you are uncomfortable, leave, immediately, without concern.

At the retail level, there are hundreds of banks and financial institutions clamoring for your business. If someone makes you uncomfortable for not knowing something, or getting a term wrong, or asking "too many" questions -- go somewhere else.

It doesn't matter if your account is literally worth $20.

They are working for you.

This is a business transaction, and if they make you feel like your time isn't worth their business, I promise you there is someone else who will gladly take care of you.

I end with -- whenever someone is giving you financial advice, always ask why. It helps ensure they aren't scamming you, it's just a good business practice.

I like to ramble, it helps me mentally

I like to be useful, I want the world to be significantly more balanced in terms of who is doing okay

I like to write, this is all good practice for me in doing Various Other Things I do

I fucking hate predatory financial practices. I was gatekept out of financial literacy for decades and so every time I help someone else figure out how to set up their own life and protect themselves it is a giant "fuck you" to the systems and directly to the people who stood in my way.

[gabessquishytum]

Hob doesn't really like working bachelor parties. His experiences aren't nearly as bad as his female stripper friends, but tips can some times be spotty and depending on the crowd, he might get more hassled than likes on a job.

When he gets a bachelor party gig at the most high end hotel in town, he's not holding out much hope - tips might be good, but rich guys tend to be dicks to/with male strippers. So Hob was prepared for anything when he walked into that Presidential Suite, or so he thought. He was NOT prepared for the hottest guy he had ever seen to be scowling through his first lap dance.

Hob has been a stripper for long enough that he makes it a practice to no longer f*uck "clients". Too many people have aggressive buyers remorse and Hob doesn't have time for the drama anymore - he's looking to get out of the game and is saving up the last bit of money to get his food truck.

Maybe he spends the night, dancing and giving the eye to that pretty boy who getting married in a few days; maybe he clocks pretty boy's reciprocal interest and slips his number in a pocket (down pretty boy's pants during a second raunchier dance); maybe Hob makes plans to head back over the next day. Maybe he'll even get a name. 😉

Woohoo yes!! Love me some stripper Hob action.

Dream is so mad because his terrible, terrible friends have not only forced him to have a bachelor party, but have also hired a stripper. It's literally the last thing Dream wants, it's not like the marriage is something to celebrate. He doesn't love Alex or even respect him. But Cori and Matthew force him to stay for the "party" (its only them, Dream, Dream’s big sister and little brother, and Jo Constantine who literally only came for the booze). And the stripper is, at least, cute.

He does some dances for the party guests first, forcing Dream to wait and pretend that he's not interested anyway. The stripper is way more Dream’s type than Alex, and Dream can't help watching as he laughs and circles his hips over Cori's lap. Finally he sashays over to where Dream is sitting. He's down to a pair of tight red booty shorts and a matching crop top which show alluring curls of chest hair.

The dance for Dream is much more sophisticated than what he did for the other guests. He's not messing around or teasing. Each movement is sensual, and when he finally crawls into Dream’s lap and peels off his crop top, his eyes are blazing with heat. Dream hears himself whimper, which draws a smirk to the stripper's pretty scarlet lips.

"You can touch my arse." He purrs into Dream’s ear. "If you promise to be a good boy." And Dream can't resist. He cups his palms over the perky cheeks and endures the wolf whistles from the other guests - only the fact that his siblings are in the room stops him from literally coming when the stripper's confident hand squeezes and fondles the bulge in his trousers.

Eventually the time is up and Hob - that's his name, and now Dream will never forget it, cheerily packs up his things.

"You'll find my card tucked into your fly." He murmurs to Dream, as he hands over a huge wad of cash tips. "If you require my services to celebrate your divorce. Or if you want to see what's under the shorts." And he winks.

Dream should obviously steer clear of him. But he's definitely not going to.

[mmmmmmmmmmmmsoup]

Yandere x Gardener reader 2.0

(This post is like another root from the story tree. But instead of talking about David, we talk about a new customer of yours, Cash)

Warning: Yandere, stalking, nsfw?

• so now that you were working at more locations, and keeping your distance from David, you found yourself on a ranch

• Not your ranch of course, but a costumers

• a man named cash wanted some help tending to his mothers garden

• his mother was growing to that age where things didn’t come easy, and not that he couldn’t take care of the garden himself, he just didn’t have the time

• he had cows, chickens, and crops to take care of. But he still wanted to make his mama happy

• that’s where you come in. A few times a week you would come by, weeding, dead heading, and watering the flowers

• Cash and his mother also had a green house full of veggies and some other edible things, you took care of that too

• now the first time you met Cash, he was quiet  and you had no idea if even liked you

• but that didn’t matter, he hired you to work, and work you did! Plus, the view you got to see while working was beautiful, just a valley of rolling hills

• and Cashes view of you was… well, let’s say he had a hard time looking away

• at first Cash didn’t really pay much time to you, you had a job to do and so did he. and as long as you did your job well, there wouldn’t be an issue

• he was also a little embarrassed to having to hire you, he wished he could just take care of the garden himself but alas, there just weren’t enough hours in the day

• he liked that you had manners. He had told you if you harvested any fruits or veggies to just bring them inside and put them on the kitchen counter

• and every time you did, you’d knock, make sure him and or his mama was aware of your present and quietly walk to the kitchen

• sometimes you even asked his mama if she needed anything like a snack or a glass of water, he thought that was sweet

• sometimes you’d leave a small bouquet of flowers freshly plucked from the garden and place it in the living room for him and his mama to see

• he thought you were a sweet girl, he didn’t dig much further then that, he didn’t want to

• but one day, when Cash was heading to the house for lunch, he saw you.

• you were ripping a small old stump out of the ground, and Cash just couldn’t look away

• you were wearing a tank top, sweating, covered in dirt, and your muscles flexing

(even if you don’t think your that muscly irl, trust me, if you ever do get gardening as a job, you will develop muscle)

• oh lord, this man just turned into a blushing mess

• ever since that day, he started paying attention to you more

• you see, Cash always came home for lunch, and the window above the sink, where he washed dishes was in perfect view of the garden

• also in perfect view was your ass when you bent over to pluck a flower or whatever else you were doing

• he started washing dishes by hand a lot more

• anytime you suggest something for the garden, that be a certain tool, plant, or pest control, you’d find it either in the shed during your next visit or he would straight up give you money to go buy it

• and he would totally give you too much money too. If you ever try to give him his change back, he would refuse and just say it’s your tip

• one day you had told him how people’s gardens were being ruined during the nights and within three days, he had updated his whole security system (by the way, this man is like rich, so he already had gates and a pretty good security system)

• he even set up some cameras facing the garden, only for security reason of course… no other reason

• he just likes you ok, and has no idea how to show it

• not only were you sweet, a hard worker, and hot as fuck, but his mama loved you

• “that gardener is such a lovely lady, and does such a nice job on my garden!”

• mama would 100% bake cookies for you and put them in a container for you to take home

• Cash thought highly of what his mother thought, and if she liked you, I mean????

• If his garden produced to many of a certain vegetable, he would just give you the extra (saving on that grocery bill gorl)

• one day when cash had a little bit more free time, he chose to have a picnic with his mama, he was thinking about asking you to join, but his mama beat him to it

• “hello y/n, me and my son are having a picnic, you should join us”

• you looked behind her to see Cash, looking slightly bashful and quick to look away when he noticed you staring

• “sure, I’d love too!”

• Cash laid down a blanket, and sat between you and his mama

• you ate some sandwiches with some home grown veggies on the side, and of course cookies made by mama her self

• you all had a nice chat, mainly mama asking about you

• cash learned how you liked to dabble in art, drawing, painting, photography, you name it you’ve probably tried it

• and just other little things like family, where your from, if you go to school or not, stuff like that

• like dam, you just keep getting better and better

• the more he learned about you, the more he liked you

• he was also thankful his mama was the one handling the conversation part, he was never great at socializing

• he also had a hard time focusing on what was being said when his eyes kept wondering to your soft lips

• fuck, he’s blushing so hard

• ever since that picnic happened, mama totally knows what’s up ;)

• she thinks it’s cute that her son FINALLY has a crush, maybe she will actually get some more grandkids!

• so every now and then she ask you to help cash with something or maybe the other way around, just so you spend more time together

• cash gets so embarrassed every time

This post is getting too long! How did I do? Any tips, tricks? Let me know!

Also what do you think about David and cash?

Whenever I’m talking about cash, I’ll probably always post it as a 0.2 chapter, like I did here

[faytelumos]

Bestie when you have the energy, we need to discuss established bruharvey where Bruce, even if he's like the richest mf in the world, is widely known to be two-face's sugar baby

The funny thing is, they're still enemies in the field? But at home? Bruce tends to Harvey's mild wounds and listens to his complaining abt batman like. Yes honey he is a menace and yes I do know you could've taken him and no I won't leave you for him i promise

And as Batman AND bruce, our boy has to save his ass everytime. Imagine kidnapping Harvey and his kept man husband wipes the floor with you bc you interrupted family night sjsjsjs

Okay, okay, okay, so several thoughts:

Two-Face is a crime lord, and Harvey is smart as hell. Together, they'll make a formidable empire within and outside of Gotham.

With all of the different types of cash flow Two-Face has set up and the grade-A hierarchy he undoubtedly set up to keep things running in his absence, Two-Face is going to be very rich. More than rich enough to have a sugar baby pre-loaded with SpoiledRotten.exe

Is it icky for Bruce to accept gifts from blood money? Probably. Does he love Harvey and ache for the feeling of being taken care of to contrast the constant and obsessive impulse to be in control of a situation?

Yes.

I think you're absolutely right and Bruce and Harvey knows each other much, much better than they know a lot of other people. There's a level of intimacy in their kind of long-lasting relationship (regardless of the nature of that relationship at any given time) that is simply so rare. They're entangled, and it reaches so far back for both of them.

[Idea: Bruce and Harvey are reincarnated together again and again.]

I'm a firm believer that Bruce is a sub because he is constantly holding onto absolutely every string and situation he can find and it is exhausting to live like that. In his best and most relaxed frame of mind he wants someone to take care of him, and I think Two-Face specifically would jump at the chance.

Maybe this is just me projecting or whatever, but I think Two-Face is confused by the way of the world. No situation is ever certain, you can never be sure of an outcome given all of the wild variables of life, and it's scary. He wants things to get done, he needs things to happen, and even when you're following the systems and the rules and the paths that shit is supposed to get better through, nothing! Works! Out!

But Bruce…. Bruce is constant. Bruce is there always, in one way or another. Even when he's so mad, even when Two-Face has fucked up royally, Bruce is still there. And Two-Face isn't sure of a whole lot, but he sure that he wants Bruce to be good and safe.

Two-Face would love to take care of Bruce because even if he messes up (which he won't because Bruce is precious and he's going to take good care of him), Bruce will always give him another chance. Two-Face is just trying to do the best he can and Bruce always knows that and Two-Face wants to pay him back for that faith, for that loyalty, for keeping him sane in this disgusting mess of a world.

So Bruce the Sugar Baby is something that both of them would gravitate towards.

Two-Face and Bruce is borderline domestic; Two-Face is sharp lines and rough edges and hands that hold too hard, but he wants to be soft for Bruce. And it works because Bruce doesn't always know what soft is, and Two-Face is so deliberate and mindful that it feels the same.

But it can be very different when Two-Face and Batman are in the room together.

Batman doesn't want to be taken care of and he can't give up control of a situation. It may seem petty, but Two-Face hates dealing with Bruce with that stupid cowl on his face because he is just the worst.

I don't think Two-Face and Batman get along nearly as well because they're both in their dominant head-spaces. Two-Face is trying to control the situation to protect Harvey, and Batman is trying to control the situation to protect Gotham, and because of the difference of scope of these goals, they butt heads.

However!

When people Bruce loves are in trouble, he goes a little feral. Gotham fades in the background, and he'll do whatever it takes to get his people out.

And Two-Face, I can imagine, is a little tickled by this.

Like, no, he doesn't need Bats' help, thank you very much. He doesn't need to be rescued, he's perfectly capable, he could have gotten out of it himself. But damn does he look good clearing the room. He'll let himself get snatched up (as long as there's no real danger to Harv) to get a nice view of that action.

Yes, Bats, he could have gotten out of those binds at any time. No, he will not be repeating this position later in the privacy of their own home.

---

---

---

[yanderes-galore]

So for my request there's a story, ok let's go!

So bunny darling is a kind, sociable bunny that works in the library, and is seen as shy, sweet, basically an angel but what they don see is that bunny darling is an assassin secretly, and is. A really good assassin, so imagine puss, kitty an perrito seeing bunny darling for who they really are. But bunny darling needs money [blackmarket] and is only targeting bad people like, really bad people, [I don't want to cause any trigger].

Fandom: puss in boots

Characters: puss, kitty, and perrito

Type: romance and platonic

I'm going to make this short reactions as I'm supposed to only do one character or a rivalry between two not three- I altered things a bit.

Btw, conejo means rabbit. It's spanish, the language I didn't learn in high school I'm sorry.

Yandere! Team Friendship with Bunny Assassin! Darling

Short Concepts/Reactions

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Attempted murder, Manipulation, Obsession, Violence, Threats, Forced partnership implied, Stalking mention.

Puss (Romantic)

Puss originally doesn't show much interest in you.

You're a helpful bunny but he's one for adventure!

Not books....

Puss pays you no mind and just thinks you're a librarian.

That is until he becomes your next target.

You see... what Puss got wrong is you're a secret assassin...

... and Puss is a wanted cat.

Your intention is to kill him and take the money for his murder.

Puss can only assume why you're doing this.

Has to be for the money, right?

Like all the rest you want riches!

Similar to him, no?

Puss connects the dots that you were once that shy and sweet librarian.

You put up a good act, don't you?

In an effort to get you to stop Puss starts bringing up deals.

He's an outlaw who can give you riches!

Somehow Puss is going to get you two to stop fighting.

You and him make a deal... you expect him to follow up on it in exchange for keeping his life.

There's tension between the two of you but Puss promises to give you the money you need.

Mostly to keep a knife from his throat.

Puss feels sympathy towards you once he learns more about you.

Instead of being a thief... to provide for yourself you turned to murder.

A feat you did through deception as no one suspects a bunny to kill.

Not even Puss in Boots.

He asks you who you target and you explain it's usually criminals.

Though once you got to know him you didn't entirely see him as a criminal.

Puss could feel romantic or platonic towards you.

He leans more towards romantic though, the cat flirting with you to ease the tension caused between you.

He does adore you and wants to help you out.

He could steal something easy and give the cash to you, sure.

Yet Puss wonders if you'd like to join him.

Call him a fool for trusting a killer, Puss doesn't care.

He thinks you and him will be a great pair.

He'll defend you and you'll never have to worry about money again.

He'll be a hero to you...

Even if you refuse at first... the offer is always there!

He knows you'll accept him some time in the future, even if he has to find a way to encourage you.

"Bunny, if money is all you're after I can help! Just join me, it'll be better than all this murder, right?"

Kitty (Romantic/Platonic)

Kitty would meet you in a similar way.

She doesn't expect the sweet bunny running the library to be a threat.

You simply give the cat a toothy grin and keep your eyes on her.

She has no idea you're holding her wanted poster in your tiny paws.

It isn't until later that you hunt her down.

You're both fast and agile, it's almost an even match.

Kitty may not be a flirter but she is a smooth talker.

She's no damsel in distress.

She can best you.

Turns out she may actually best you.

She may not have claws but she's pretty skilled and fast.

Maybe after she beats you she asks you why you tried to kill her, pushing your smaller body to the ground with her eyes narrowed.

In response you pass her the poster.

You're an assassin looking for money.

Kitty may make a deal similar to Puss.

She's a thief too, if you need money she can probably hook you up with something.

"You need money? Me too, conejo. Why don't you work with me instead?"

You aren't really in a position to refuse due to her grip on your ears and the fact she disarmed you so quickly.

Kitty may rub the fact she bested you in your face.

However, Kitty slowly begins to care for you as a partner the longer the gets to know you.

Who knew a bunny needed to resort to murder to keep their life afloat?

It's sad if you think about it....

Kitty has you help her with theft as that was part of your deal.

You share the profits and actually bond well.

Kitty is happy she managed to make you a friend instead of an enemy.

She's light-hearted with you and cares for you.

If anyone tried to hurt/catch you, she'll defend you.

It's hard to tell if she cares for you as a close companion or romantic partner as she hides her feelings.

Kitty is just hoping she can put her trust in you unlike Puss.

If anyone harmed her bunny... there'll be hell to pay.

"You and me are in this together. It's us against the world, bunny. We need each other's trust... I... I need you than anyone else."

Perrito (Platonic/Romantic)

He may actually be the only one who isn't targetted by you.

Perrito may simply grow attached to you by finding you in the library.

You weren't expecting the overly excited dog to be in your library and don't mind talking to him.

You just wish he'd be more quiet.

Perrito is just obsessive over the bunny librarian as a dog would be.

He easily trusts you and considers you a friend immediately.

"Aww...! You're so cute! You're a rabbit? Oh! Is this your library!? So cool!"

Perrito would probably learn about your actual profession by accident.

Wanting to learn more about you he follows you until you slip into an alley.

The moment you throw on the cloak, fluffy ears slipping through the ear slits on your hood, you look like an entirely different person.

You're startled when you hear a long "woooow!" come from behind you.

You aren't sure what to think when Perrito stands behind you.

"Are you a superhero!?"

Perrito is seen as an annoyance by you for a long while.

You hold back the urge to sigh.

You are no hero.

He follows you everywhere and sees how effortlessly you track down your targets.

Perrito is a bit on edge with the murder but wants to be closer to you all the same.

At some point you just... accept the fact he follows you.

Perrito is like your little... stalker fan.

If you're in trouble then he tries to help you out!

He is the sweetest dog ever and you can't help but grow attached over time.

He is the friendliest one out of the three.

Perrito means well and doesn't mind trying to help you out of trouble by distractions.

The moment you said you considered him a partner?

Perrito's over the moon.

Perrito refuses to leave your side... even if you tried to leave, he'd find you again somehow.

"Ohhh! Are we fighting crime together!?"

[fenrislorsrai]

I Know Where I'm Going

Season 2 is just Neil Gaiman attempting to get us to read and watch all his favs while looking for Clues.

so got "I Know Where I'm Going" from the library.

as a mundane note on the DVD, the subtitles are incredibly hard to find on the menus for some reason. I finally gave up using the onscreen menu and forced it through opening a track direct on my player. So if you get the DVD, there ARE subtitles, you just gotta work for 'em.

also there's several points where they just subtitle it as "speaking Gaelic". It's effectively shot from a non-Gaelic speaker's POV so I'm okay with it not being translated but it would have been nice is there were subtitles, in Gaelic, for those sections.

This movie rates an enormous HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM from me. Many interesting coincidences.

Free fic title for folks: "may your pulse beat as your heart would wish"

Rest under the cut in case you want to watch this.

You can read the plot on WIkipedia so I'm not gonna focus on the relevant bits for Good Omens cause that's why you're reading this.

First up you get the female lead meeting with her father for dinner, who specifically mentions coming from Eccleshall to see her off. This is a different town than Eccles of the Eccles cake, but did make me go look that up.

The tartan hills sequence really is direct from this movie as part of a dream sequence. Joan's father had warned her she was marrying a man, not his company, but the dream sequence does involve actually marrying the company as shown off by some large industrial machinery. big HMM there on theme.

She's clearly marrying this guy for safety and financial security but you never really learn much else about him. She seems to have worked for him and then climbed into position of getting married. You hear this guy's voice on a shortwave radio but never actually see him. He's also described with general disdain by the locals as an imposter. He's not the real lord, he's just the guy with the money.

Which is something that comes up repeatedly thematically as New Money vs Old Money. even the Old Money doesn't have much and that's why they're renting out to the New Money because they're land rich, cash poor as are post of the people that are in the area.

There's a bit where the rich new folks go call on one of the old nobles and comment on how she's only got three servants on a quite big house and she comments on "don't need them when I have guests" and then you get to see Torquil, who actually is a lord (and the love interest here) getting told to set the table for the elderly noblewoman he's visiting. Which he does. and for the rich New Money folks who do nothing to help.

You also have a conversation with some of the locals making fun of the rich industrialist paying money to import salmon, when he's got salmon swimming in the stream of the land he's renting, but isn't catching. He's also having a swimming pool built... on an inland, which they all think he's mad for. (considering the ocean murdering people is a plot point, wanting to swim in warmer non-murderous water seems pretty reasonable)

But there's an overall Vibe of the new money having MONEY but not class.

Torquil has class but also responsibilities. He's only here because he's been serving in the Navy and is home on shore leave. Catriona, who provides Torquil and Joan somewhere to stay while waiting out the stormy weatehr has been providing housing a unit of soldiers up until about a week ago. So you get that clear "they're doing their part for the war, the New Rich aren't".

You also get Joan attempting to pay a local fisherman quite a lot of cash to take her to the nearby island in heavy weather. It's really too much cash for him to refuse. That could buy him ability to marry and buy a boat of his own. Torquil is Pissed Offabout it though because he considers it thoughtless. You could wait and not risk that man's life over this. He eventually gets talked around but goes with on the boat trip since he actually IS in the Navy and can manage to help get engine restarted in boat when they get swapped.

So a lot of themes in common, but lets get back to the real meat here: THE CURSE.

Torquil has never been in the nearby castle, which is basically just a standing square tower. Not have any of his immediate ancestors because everybody knows about the curse and that he can't set foot in the castle of Something Terrible Will Happen.

This gets called back to several times but without any indication of the exact nature of the curse.

This IS a romance so the whole point is this delay in the travel makes Joan reconsider marrying the rich guy. but before that, you have Joan and Torquil split up. They have a farewell kiss and then part ways. Torquil wishes her well and suggests since some pipers got hired for this delayed wedding, she should have them play a tune they heard earlier in a dance scene.

meanwhile, he's been delayed so many times getting to the same island (which is his home), his shore leave is now over, he has to go back to the Navy. So is walking off to catch a ride and goes past the castle.

Stares at it and is "okay, Joan's right, this is stupid I've been scared by this curse the whole time" so goes into castle to climb the tower actually see the curse carved in stone.

OH HEY, THAT CURSE AIN'T WHAT YOU THOUGHT. It's one of those written in such a way it can be read several ways. One of which is "you can never leave this place without the person you love." oh hey, are those bagpipers playing Our Song???

Happy reunion had, Joan wants to be with Torquil nevermind marrying the company for riches. what they do about Torquil's leave being over, IDK, movie over, this is a romance, off we go.

[blackacre13]

Can u do part 2 of Milf Debbie and rich Lou

Part 2 is here: https://blackacre13.tumblr.com/post/691245019659730944/omg-part-two-of-milf-debbie-and-rich-lou-pls

Here’s part 3:

“Who broke your heart?” Lou whispered, almost seeming to be speaking to herself instead of Debbie now. Like she needed to answer the question herself. Like she’d been running from it. Dodging her past. Avoiding her future.

“Does it matter?” The brunette sniffed, looking up at Lou through her eyelashes. “I know how to keep it safe now.”

“You know how to build walls, you mean.”

“Aren’t you doing the same thing here? Hiding from fame? Letting everyone else have their moment in the sun.”

“You could let down those walls for me,” Lou whispered sweeping Debbie’s hair back, leaning in.

“Only if you let me help you shine,” Debbie muttered, closing the gap between them as she stole the breath of Lou’s next thought of her lips.

Lou parted their lips for a moment, letting their foreheads rest against each other as she breathed in the brunette, savoring the fizzy feeling that lingered between them.

A line like that from anyone else would have her rolling her eyes, but from Debbie? She wanted to make Debbie’s eyes roll back into her head. Again and again. And then some.

“What’s his name?” Lou found herself asking, immediately wanting to take the question back, but needing to know just as much all the same.

“My son?” Debbie scoffed, thrown by the question. Lou could see she wasn’t the only one affected by the kiss they’d shared, yet neither of them made any sort of move to pull themselves apart, their hips and heads still locked together. Steaks going cold on the counter.

“I know your son’s name,” Lou laughed. “He mows my lawn.”

“Actually, you’re the only person on this block who won’t let him mow the lawn,” Debbie frowned. “But he still says that you pay him?”

“I like doing it,” the blonde shrugged. “Some Zepplin. A crisp IPA. Done in a jiffy. But I wouldn’t steal his brilliant idea for gas money. So I still toss him a few bucks a week.”

“Fuck me,” Debbie swore, her voice suddenly breathy.

“Is that weird?” Lou laughed. “I mean you’re the parent. It might be a bad call. But he seems like a sweet kid. And I have more cash than I know what to do with and—“

“No,” Debbie hissed. “Fuck. Me. Lou.”

Debbie’s hand was reaching between them to grab Lou’s own, ghosting it up her own thigh under her dress as Lou groaned.

“You’re sure about this?” Lou asked, her nails digging into Debbie’s thigh as she took over the movement. “Once we do this…”

“So sure,” Debbie panted, throwing her arms around Lou’s neck, her lips falling back against hers. Lou let herself be kissed, but still had to be the one with the upper hand, wedging her leg between Debbie’s, encouraging the brunette to grind against her thigh as her nails raked down Debbie’s arms.

Debbie was moving them backwards and Lou was laughing, barely able to gasp out that “that isn’t what direction the bedroom is in” and fighting Debbie on trying to settle for the counter, the wall, and then the couch, in favor of the bed. Promising her they had plenty of time to experiment, but that she was going to do this properly the first time.

Now Debbie was pinned beneath her, looking up at the blonde with pleading, glimmering dark eyes and an eager smile. There was something about the very mismatched underwear and bra that made Lou feel warm. Knowing this hadn’t been some plan of seduction or using her. Debbie would never have done that. But Lou was being used to being used. For record deals. For money. For sex.

“Where’d you go?” Debbie whispered, her hand finding Lou’s jaw and stroking it gently.

“I can’t believe what I’m about to say,” Lou muttered, slinking her way down Debbie’s body before she laid her head against her chest.

“Oh Fuck,” Debbie cursed, trying to sit up, looking around for where they’d flung her dress. “You think this is a mistake. Of course it is. We can’t try anything. We’re neighbors. If anything were to go wrong, it’s not like it’s so simple to just move at the drop of a hat and I can’t pull Ben out of school and would never ask you to—“

“God no,” Lou chuckled, pressing her finger to Debbie’s collarbone, dragging it down slowly as she watched the brunette shiver, melting under her touch until she was laying down again. “It’s the opposite of that.”

“The opposite?”

“You have no idea how Fucking badly I want to rip that bra off. Roll those panties down. Feel how Fucking wet you are for me. I want to savor you, Debbie. I want you begging for me inside you.”

“Fuck, I want that,” Debbie breathed, her hips squirm beneath Lou, hands grabbing at her.

“So don’t let me,” Lou whispered. “Tell me you need to go home. Make up a lie. Tell me you need to take this slow.”

“Lou, that’s absurd,” the brunette giggled.

“Maybe,” the blonde shrugged. “But I want to do this right.”

She tucked a lock of hair behind Debbie’s ear, kissing her on the nose.

“Tell me you forgot about something and you need to go home. I’ll give you one of my button downs so you can sneak out of here in it and it’ll be glued to my memories until I see you again. And then tomorrow night, let me take you out. For a real date. And then we’ll see what happens.”

“You’re serious about this aren’t you?” Debbie grinned.

“Super serious.”

“Lou?” Debbie laughed, clearing her throat as she tried and failed to make a solemn face.

“Yeah?”

“I forgot—I have the um—iron on.”

“There’s no way you iron,” Lou snickered.

“So I’d better run home and shut it or you know—it might—what happens if you leave an iron on?”

“I don’t know,” Lou chuckled. “Mine has auto shut off.”

“You’re not helping me here.”

“Don’t you have a son who would be coming home from school soon? Like on that big yellow thing?”

“Oh shit. Yeah,” Debbie laughed. “That. That’s good. But you promise I can see you tomorrow?”

“It’s a date, Deb.”