#does finding this much cash money make me rich…?

[funkyyychicken5000]

Help— I just spent the last hour scrounging through my shelves/dressers and bags, and found thirty dollars! I cannot pay for more food for this week, but I can pay for my insanely overpriced uniform for public school. What a wonderful economy. 😭

[izzyy-stuff]

congratulations on 300 followers!! this is a bit of a wild one but reader is working as a stripper whilst in 3rd year of college to earn a bit of extra cash. the strip club is outside the city where she goes to college just to make sure she doesn’t run into anyone. but one day beomgyu’s friends drag him to the strip club and ofc he ends up seeing reader who is his academic rival. reader is forced to give him a lap dance upon his request just for the sake of earning some extra tips but eventually things get out of hand and they start fucking in front of everyone else. if you’re not comfortable with any of this pls feel free to ignore :)

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄 - 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐁𝐄𝐎𝐌𝐆𝐘𝐔

classmate!Beomgyu x fem!reader

in which Choi Beomgyu can't miss out on having his way with you, even if it means looking pathetic when he begs you to grind on him

wc 1.6k

warnings strip club setting, nipple play if you squint, dry humping, beomgyu cums in his pants, exhibition I'm pretty sure, lmk if I missed anything!

↪ izzy speaks... okay, I LOVED this request. Even though I changed up the last part and they didn't exactly fuck in front of everyone else, I still enjoyed this :3

this is not proofread!

event post | event masterlist

“I’m sorry! It won’t happen again!” 

You’re not sure anymore what you were doing. How low did you have to fall to be on your knees, begging not to get fired? “Yeah, yeah. Alright, get up,” your boss sighs, looking at the clock on the wall. “There’s a group of college kids in room four. Lea is there alone now, so go join her. Don’t be late again, though,” she warns you, and you immediately nod, promising it won’t happen ever again. 

You swallow hard as you close the door behind yourself, closing your eyes. No matter how filthy the job is, you need the money to pay for your studies. You can’t get fired. Not now when you finally learned the trick of how to get bigger tips. 

Whenever you were failing a subject in high school, you used to joke about becoming a stripper or finding a rich husband so you could drop out, but you never actually thought those thoughts would come to be your reality. Sure, you never dropped out and now do this just so you can stay in school, but it feels bizarre. 

You fix your top, making sure it still does its job and holds your breasts in place while showing enough skin. Your outfit is ridiculous, revealing more than you would want, but it does what it should. 

You take a deep breath before opening the door of room four, putting on a smile as you walk towards your coworker, who is currently dancing around the pole placed in the middle of the table with all five of the guys in the room having their eyes glued to her body. 

“Mind me joining you?” You speak softly, tracing your fingers along your coworker’s ass, slowly moving down to her thighs. “Oh, wow,” one of the guys breathes out, and it makes you roll your eyes. You just hope they don’t notice it. You glance their way, your eyes immediately widening when you notice the little too-familiar group of boys. Shit. 

How unlucky do you have to be? You made sure to choose a strip club in a town far enough so it would be impossible to meet any of the people you see every day in classes, so why on Earth is Choi Beomgyu sitting in room four with his friends? And what the fuck is he doing in a place like this in the first place? 

“Angel, are you okay?” Lea asks you quietly, making sure to use your club nickname so she wouldn’t give out your personal information. But it’s too late for that because you know damn well Beomgyu knows who you are. “I know them,” you admit, mentally slapping yourself to get professional again. “It’s fine, though,” you say, stepping back and turning to face them. “Do you think we can switch?” You try to be as quiet as possible when you speak to her, but Beomgyu seems to catch your words as he pulls out his wallet. “How much for a lap dance?” He wonders. Lea opens her mouth to answer, but before she can do so, he already has some money out, asking if it’s enough. That’s more than enough, you gasp, and Beomgyu scoffs when he sees your jaw practically on the floor. 

Lae takes a step back from the pole, about to get down from the table and do as he asked for, but he stops her. “Not from you,” he shakes his head. “But from her,” he points directly at you, making the guy–that you recognize as Choi Yeonjun–beside him laugh. “I definitely won’t mind a lap dance from you,” Yeonjun smirks towards your coworker. She sends you an apologetic smile before making her way to the redhead, leaving you to take up on Beomgyu’s request. 

You grit your teeth, walking to him. “Hi,” Beomgyu smiles, spreading his legs apart and leaning back so his back touches the couch. “They can call another girl here, right? Wouldn’t want to keep them all alone while I have my fun.” You frown, letting him know you’re not looking forward to this. “You can have your fun, and then I’ll move on to someone else,” you smile back at him, but your smile is as forced as it can be. “Don’t think so,” he proclaims, pulling you onto his lap. “What do you mean?” 

“I’m keeping you all to myself tonight.” 

He’s weird. Choi Beomgyu is a weirdo. For the first time since you got to know him, he isn’t showing off or trying to get a better grade than you, but he is still as annoying as ever. You glance to your side where Lea is, watching her do her job on Yeonjun’s lap while his three friends watch them, Huening almost fisting himself through his pants. “You want me to do the same?” He nods, grabbing the money he took out of his wallet before and sticking them between your boobs with a smirk. “That’s what I’m paying you for.” 

If your boss saw you, you are sure you would get fired on the spot. You keep trying to keep your distance, unable to look as sexy as you usually do when you know who your client is. You try to step back and think of it as finished, but Beomgyu holds your wrist, giving you a warning look before he pulls you back onto his lap, making you sit down. “I want a proper one. I’m not settling for this shy version you just did.” You gulp down, trying to find an excuse for yourself. “I can’t–” Your name leaves his lips, and you close your mouth. “I wanna see you do it properly.” 

You sigh, positioning yourself again. You take a deep breath and close your eyes, doing your best to forget that Choi Beomgyu is under you as you start your dance. This time, just like they taught you to. 

And that’s how you got yourself into the situation you are in now. You’re not sure how it all happened, honestly. You were just doing your job, a silly little lap dance, so how did that turn into rubbing your closed pussy on his boner? 

“Wait,” Beomgyu’s breath shakes as he looks around to see if his friends weren’t watching. He sighs when he sees them too busy with the pole dancer and another one of your coworkers that joined after Soobin’s request. “For what? Hm? Weren’t you the one humping the air seconds ago? Asking me to sit down and feel you?” You tease him, your hands on his shoulders. The material of your panties is thin, so there is no surprise your dripping cunt leaves stains on his pants, too. He doesn’t seem to care though, thrusting his hips up. 

He wouldn’t have ever thought he’d get himself into this situation. Being dragged to a strip club by his friends was one thing—but finding you there? Oh, was he in heaven? The look on your face when you noticed him, the way you refused even getting closer to him—all that was making his pants tighter already. He couldn’t let his chance go to waste, could he? His long-term crush in front of him, able to give him a lap dance, what better thing was there? So he took his chance, but he didn’t expect you to get his dick hard so easily. He didn’t think you’d get him so worked up or that you’d actually do as he pleases when he asked you to sit on him so he could feel you. 

The feeling of your wet panties on him, with your already-short skirt rolled up, and your boobs practically shoved in his face, he just couldn’t help himself and hump against you. He needed you. In every and any way he could get. 

“Can I touch you?” He whines as you grind on him again. You nod, not caring anymore what could happen after tonight with the two of you. You moan out when Beomgyu squeezes your breast in his hands, leaning closer to you so he can lick your nipple through your top. Your fingers wander on his chest, pushing him back against the couch as your movements get faster. You know you shouldn’t be doing this with a client of yours, especially with so many people around, but you can’t help it, knowing this is the only chance you’ll ever get to do anything like this with him. 

His hands move down to your waist, controlling your movements as he makes you grind on his lap, trying to stimulatingly thrust his hips against you. “Shit,” he groans out, his pace slowing down as he feels his dick twitch in his pants. He’s close, too damn close. But he can’t stop. He needs to feel you on him more. “Beom?” You speak up softly, but at that moment, his hands fall from your waist to his side, his head thrown back. You move back, glancing down at your bodies, and scoff. Choi Beomgyu just came in his pants because of you. 

That sounds like something you should write in your diary. 

“Do you work tomorrow?” He asks, trying to recollect himself as he brushes his hair off his face to see better. “No,” you shake your head, taking a moment to breathe. You don’t want to get up from him. “Do you know where I live?” You frown. “No?” 

“Can I come to your house then?” The puppy eyes he gives you make you even more confused. “Why?” 

“I’ll pay you. Just let me do this again naked,” he pleases, looking around the room. “With less people around.” 

Your eyes widen, trying to make sense of what he is saying. You don’t understand him, but you nod either way. You want to know where this goes. 

⋆✶ izzy's tags @beomiracles @seoulzie @adel222 @inkigayocamman @flowzel @love-be0m @virgo-and-libra @hwanghyunjinismybae @liaatiny @minaateez @bamgeutsz ✶⋆

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[butchvampireheimerdinger]

the butchfemme sevika post was so cute!!! what about sevika or vi with a femme who's very forward about all their feelings and lowkey shameless

A/N: Thanks! I ended up having to split this into two posts teehee Here’s the one I wrote for Sevika (also with mob wife vibes. I was in a mafia mood when I wrote these if you couldn’t tell)

Pairing: Butch!Pitfighter!Vi X Flirty, femme, and filthy rich!reader who’s sort of a mob princess type

Warnings: Pretty SFW, brief mentions of sex, violence, alcohol, cussing.

You Were Born Tough

By ButchVampireHeimerdinger

⚠︎ Vi is the type of young butch with a lot of audacity, just to get that out of the way

⚠︎ She loves to be the forward one and when you start matching her energy it would get her heart pumping and her palms would start to sweat a lil

⚠︎ Ok basically she’s pit fighter Vi and your family runs the fight club (you have so much dirty money like it’s disgusting. Mob princess baby of the family asf)

⚠︎ But one day a certain pink haired pit fighter captures your eye. You start sitting in the front every time she fights, ogling her cause violence is hot

⚠︎ She notices you and it distracts her enough that she gets her shit ROCKED

⚠︎ But she holds it in for another round and in between people are adjusting their bets. It’s stacking up against her crazily. but suddenly you drop a huge stack on her to win. Over the bet limit but the rules don’t rly apply to you.

⚠︎ She’s like. Floored. and musters up the nerve to go up to your spot in the stands and see what that was all about. She doesn’t know who you are at first, just that she’s seen you before (and would like to see more of you.)

⚠︎ You lean forward on the barricade looking down at her. You cock your head like a fox all curious, and she speaks first:

“So you like to lose money, huh?”

“I like to live fast. And…” You look side to side dramatically as if making sure no one’s listening.

“I have a secret talent.” You beckon her closer and whisper in her ear while gently bracing her shoulder, One of ur moves.

“I can tell, from the first round, the difference between a regular street-thug-bruiser type and a mothafucking champion.” That gets her ego going fosho.

“That’s a bold statement, Princess. Sure you wanna stake your reputation on that? Matter of fact, I’d like to see it in writing.” You let out a cute tinkling little princess laugh.

“Flex for me?” You ask. She obliges, confused but intrigued. You pull out an ink pen from your little designer purse that has a chihuahua inside. The pen is the pink furry kind with a big ass plume. On her bicep in curly cursive print you write:

I, the official supreme dictator of mothafucking champions, hereby declare this here dyke the holy asskicker of the undercity — and may Janna herself strike me down if I am wrong.

You adorn it with hearts and stars because she’s so gothy and serious looking that it looks a little funny.

“You’re quite the artist.”

“I’m actually on my way to the Met after this. Maybe I’ll bring you along, Knuckles. My masterpiece.”

“Gonna sign your work?” She still doesn’t know your name.

You reapply the red lippie you’ve got in ur dog purse and press ur lips to her bicep right under your “contract.” Your “signature.”

“Go kick some ass.” You gesture with your head to the announcer, who is signaling the start of the next round.

And that drives her insane. Like she’s so fired up she could fight god.

⚠︎ Needless to say, she absolutely does kick ass. You take in so much coin and as she looks at you collecting your earnings, you’re fanning yourself with stacks of cash.

⚠︎ She looks for you afterward, you’ve long departed. She finds you at a bar/restaurant: the place a lot of the fighters, their sponsors, and other important people in the pit fighting sphere frequent after the fights. It’s the “upscale” lounge for Zaunites. You’re at a table alone with an espresso martini and she sits down all confident.

⚠︎ Three big dudes immediately stand up all threatening. She’s thinking oh shit, who is this girl? and you signal to your goons it’s all fine.

⚠︎ She puts on the moves, puffing her chest. You put on the moves, touching her arm, paying more attention to your reflection in ur compact than to her. She finds it intimidating. And hot.

⚠︎ Somehow the idea that you become her official sponsor comes up. You get one of ur goons to get a contract out and as you sign it with that ridiculous pen she sees your last name and it clicks. She’s thinking what the hell did I just get myself into?

⚠︎ You’re at all her fights. You do her makeup because her goth thing is a little overdone. Your touch is delicate as you apply it, just you two alone. It helps her game, honestly — a moment of peace before the rumble.

⚠︎ You’re on the sides watching her in your usual spot and she just kinda glows under ur gaze.

⚠︎ She’s referred to as your creature, your Frankenstein (yeah Frankenstein’s the doctor ik but I think it’s unlikely that either of you would both know and care enough to correct them.)

⚠︎ You wipe her sweat with a towel and encourage her in between the rounds.

“Don’t embarrass me out there, Knuckles.”

⚠︎ You’re touchy and it makes every other woman highkey scared to approach her. Rumors fly around that yall r fucking on the side. You do nothing to dispel them.

⚠︎ It’s all fun and games for a while and you’ve got her thinking what are we? do you just act like this with everyone? Is this all in my head?

⚠︎ It’s after a particularly bad match, the worst in a while. Instead of going to that upscale place, you decide to slum it and follow her to The Last Drop. Everyone notices your presence, u just have a kinda way about you. You find it charming there.

⚠︎ You lean over her shoulder as she chats with the people she grew up with. Someone asks what’s the deal with you two. You theoretically have the balls to take control of the situation and tell her what’s up, but you wanna see her squirm. And you wanna hear it from her.

⚠︎ You look at her like what r u gonna say, Slick? Expectantly, like a challenge. A challenge that she then fails.

“Gentlemen, my sponsor.” She gives them the professional explanation. You’re disappointed.

“If you’ll excuse me gentlemen, I have some business to attend to. As you know, Violet’s career is my main concern — my only concern, matter of fact.”

⚠︎ You shove an envelope of stuff for her to look at into her chest and give her an overly friendly and utterly sarcastic pat on the back + death glare combo as she takes it. Then you pick up the tab and strut out of the bar, goons close behind. One of them helps you into your flashy mink coat. The bar dudes don’t know what the deal is, but they know Vi just screwed something up. And they let her know it, punching her shoulder and shoving her around all bro-ey.

⚠︎ She thumbs through the envelope that night, feeling shitty. Just stats and numbers, boring legal shit for her to sign her name under yours. There’s that curly signature with a lipstick mark.

⚠︎ She shows up at your place the next day to go over the match and practice a bit in your basement gym as usual. She finds you in the grand office you use, used to belong to your late father. Your legs are crossed, leaning backward, redbottoms kicked up on the desk. Her practice gloves are there on the desk and she goes for them, but you stop her with a long leg to her chest, pointy heel looking kinda threatening. She goes to say something, you silence her with a subtle gesture with your index finger, long red nail freshly painted.

“What exactly is your goal here, Vi? Gonna become the greatest pit fighter of all time? Gonna keep swinging until you’re set for life? Or until something happens to you?

Of course not. You haven’t even thought for a second about the future, about anything serious. You clearly don’t even want this anymore, you blew your shares on crypto scams and a flashy car. And you don’t even seem to care that you’ve been falling behind in the ring — Anyone ever tell you that you block with your face?"

Again, she tries to respond, thinking that you’re trying to pick a fight. Again, you cut her off.

"Vi, dealing with pitfighters for the rest of my sorry life was never my plan.”

“…What are you saying?”

“I’m saying it’s clearly not about the money or the game anymore. This is about you and me. You’re not stupid enough to not have noticed what’s happening between us. But I won’t chase you by myself. I picked you out that day because I hate cowards, and I believed in you. Don’t prove me wrong.”

⚠︎ That gives her the fire she needs to hop onto the desk and kiss you, slow n deep, bracing the top of the swivel chair you’re in.

⚠︎ So Vi eventually gives up pit fighting for the resistance, which had kicked up in recent months. And the news about her father kept her busy — kept her teeth intact as well.

⚠︎ You use your wealth for the resistance as well, and you use your connections to offer Zaunites a refuge from the gas.

⚠︎ You guys become a power couple. When everything goes down, you’re passed over for the council seat in favor of Sevika. No hard feelings though, you’re still a little green and far too unpredictable to be cut out for Topside politics.

⚠︎ But you hold it down in the Undercity, with your beloved brawler by your side. Sometimes she likes to hang out, lift weights and punch the hanging bags of flour in your basement gym. And you ogle her like you’re seeing her for the first time, kicking ass in the ring.

⚠︎ Nicknames for you include “my girl,” “my lady,” “my femme” of course. You like when she calls you “my darling,” it means she’s in an especially good mood (though she never calls you that in public lol)

⚠︎ And you like to leave your signature kiss marks all over her. She wears them with pride.

Fin

[mymoshangthoughts]

oki my guys can we plz talk about gold digger airplane?

like look, i know it's nice to write him with the moral fortitude to not want to take advantage of his partner financially and ngl, some of my favorite fics have portrayed him as being uncomfortable with people buying him shit

but dearest to my heart, this man will hug any thigh in the name of gold-digging his way to comfort

pride? what pride? who has time for pride when you've written a million words describing papapa for the explicit purpose of paying your bills. you look down on those who have the pride to be uncomfortable with expensive gifts

you have one of several reactions when you are presented with an expensive gift

score! i love this, i wanted this, it's mine. if they try to take it back i will weep and beg and bite

score! i hate this, its totally gross looking, imma sell it off at a marked up price and get a profit out of this worthless fucking gift

score! this means that i have this level of monetary value to the person gifting me, which means i can ask for more shit, better shit, give me an inch and i will take a mile

score! this person is clearly dumb with their money and will therefore be easily persuaded into spoiling me fucking rotten. this is it, boys. we made it

or really any variation of this

look, he might totally love the person gifting him the items. assume its his one true love, the icy king mobei jun himself and he is looking at this glamorous diamond gift going "o...m...g... he's dumb with money. this is the jackpot. sexy, cool, AND easily exploited for cash?! I WILL MARRY THIS MAN"

look

i just want shameless gold digger shang qinghua so fucking bad

also literally mobei jun realizing that shang qinghua is weak to wealth and just being like "oki so imma just literally bury him in diamonds so he'll never even think to leave me" bc mobei jun Does Not Care

whether shang qinghua is staying for his massive tits or his expansive treasury, so long as shang qinghua stays, he is a happy dude

but also yes i want him to be mean about it LOL please make shang qinghua cry by confiscating his diamond collection. do it.

shang qinghua cackling as he counts his money and being on top of the world and calculating how much he'd get in a potential divorce (because he's cynical as fuck and he WILL win the divorce, fuck you. even tho he has no intention of divorcing this man. that would be like killing the golden goose or whatever)

and sure, shang qinghua does 100% absolutely love his husband. if his husband was poor as dirt, shang qinghua would still be there at his side through thick and thin. his feelings go beyond money and he would pinch every penny for the rest of his life to be with his beloved. this is all true about him and his feelings of love and loyalty are sincere as fuck

but does that mean he isnt OVER THE FUCKING MOON TO MARRY RICH? dude, he is living his fucking dream and he is going to take FULL advantage of this gloriously bountiful life. it's like finding out your boyfriend is well-endowed. like sure, you'd still love him if he had a small dick, BUT YOU ARE NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT THAT BIG DICK, NOT AT ALL, YOU INTEND TO ENJOY THAT BIG DICK TO THE FULLEST EXTENT

thank you for attending my insane rant, long life gold-digger airplane. may he thrive!

shen yuan: *scrunches up his face* how can you deal with that? he treats you like a wallet

mobei jun: eh, he has yet to figure out that ive basically used that wallet to trap him in this relationship

shen yuan: that sounds like financial abus--

airplane: HUBBY! I WANT A NEW PAIR OF SHOES! THE ONES THAT COST AS MUCH AS CAR!

shen yuan: ...ya know what, match made in heaven. im going home.

(shen yuan who would absolutely hate if binghe treated him like a wallet but also spoils his binghe rotten without being asked and would 100% be uncomfortable receiving expensive gifts from binghe lolol)

[janitetsu]

Househusband Kureishi Headcanons!

wc: 1,550 Happy birthday, Mitsuyo!! The more I see of him, the more I swoon and fall in love. One of the newest additions to my Kengan Husbands tier. ^0^ Who are the rest? Well...you will find out soon.

WARNINGS: - mostly gender-neutral s/o, mentions of pussy, gendered spousal terms, creampie mention, breeding mention

As per Strike it Rich chapter 39, this man is a smooth talker. If he can freely call other ladies beautiful, what more with the person he’s decided to spend the rest of his life with? Gives you compliments anytime, anywhere. He is so shameless about it, too

Gives you cute nicknames (sweetie, sweetheart, darling, wifey), and said nickname is also your name in his contacts list. When you’re calling, he will definitely make some buzz about it, whether he’s massaging someone’s joints in his orthopedic clinic, training Cosmo and Adam (or Nozomi, Nozomin as he calls her, from ISSK) in his dojo, or just hanging out with Joji.

Kureishi: Oho, what’s this? My sweetheart is calling me, excuse me~ (He earns eye rolls from Adam and chuckles from Cosmo and Nozomi)

Joji: Your wife/husband/partner never hits you. I’m jealous, Kureishi.

Maybe I’m too woke but I HATE how Joji’s domestic abuse and eye-scratch scar are played for laughs because it’s done by his wife each time he comes home from drinking T.T Anyway…

He WILL help out with all the household chores and offer to do them for you. His favorite chore is ironing clothes. 

When he sees you already doing chores, he will always offer to take over. Afterwards, he gives you a massage: his expertise! This man canonically has many certificates not just for being a great martial artist, but also for being a skilled chiropractor. You get Japan’s best chiropractor to give you massages…for free!

If you put him in charge of cooking, he’s going to have a bias towards cooking and serving his own favorite food: curry. After a while of just curry rice, though, he learns to cook different varieties of curry like Thai Curry and Filipino Curry (Kare-Kare), among others.

Compared to his gladiator/fighting arena days in Fist of the Seeker, he’s really mellowed out and will continue to be just as chill in marriage. His “bone-breaking fetish” is purely towards opponents and people he deems dangerous to his loved ones (though he *does* feel some tingles when massaging you and hearing some joints or bones crack. Don’t worry. Unlike before where he’d just “rub one out” in the shower, he’ll kindly ask you to help him with his “problem”, should it get “bigger and harder”.)

 Will only “revert” back to his old ways when he has to beat up someone who wronged you. He was protective of Koga, again, what more with his life partner?

Loves wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and resting his chin on your head (or shoulder if you’re taller) and barraging you with compliments while doing so.

“You smell so good, as always.”, “You’re so cute, so beautiful/handsome.”, “How’d I get so lucky?”, “God, I love you so much.”

Never really thought he’d settle down, given his gladiator past and current background (famous national mixed martial artist/coach and awarded chiropractor). Many have tried, but he either found them shallow, or he just didn’t have the time due to his busy schedule given that he’s got two jobs.

Bought a house after you two got engaged. His apartment days were over the moment you passed 2 years of dating. He was already looking to buy a house and just never told you.

Money was and will never be a problem. Years after the events of FOTS, he’s likely earned quite a bit of cash given that he’s now famous all over Japan as a martial artist and chiropractor. Never had anything else to spend on besides equipment and maintenance of his dojo and clinic, which are in adjacent buildings (to maximize the space and minimize the cost of maintenance and travel). Because of this, he loves spoiling you and getting you little trinkets that you mentioned in passing liking, or outright expensive things you request for. A Rilakkuma teddy bear? Noted. Vivienne Westwood designer goods? Noted as well. Be careful what you randomly say, he WILL end up buying it later. (“Hey, this one looks cool/cute!”, pretends to not notice). 

He (most likely) lives in TOKYO! His dojo and clinic are canonically located in Ochanomizu and he most likely lives within the area, too. Living expenses in Tokyo are insane, a rough estimate being 158,000 yen (over 1000 USD, or 60,000 PHP in my currency). Trust me when I say your future is secure with Mitsuyo.

Not really much of a drinker and only drinks on occasion, unlike his old pal Joji. Perhaps during anniversaries, special holidays, or birthdays. He always advises his orthopedic clinic patients to not drink booze and opt for water instead (Danberu Chapter 21), so you bet he’ll do his best to apply the advice he always gives them to himself.

Will ease off the teasing in the honeymoon stages of your marriage (he’s in the “Swooning, I can’t believe this is my reality now”-rose-tinted shades phase) but goes back to it after a few months or so.

Being the youngest of five siblings, he’s probably gotten tasked with looking after nieces and nephews. I like to think this is one of the reasons he’s a natural at teaching. Because of this, he has never-ending patience. Need help with improving at any chore? He’s got you covered. Prepare for a lot of teasing when he’s teaching you, though. He loves getting a rise out of you. When you’ve reached a “boiling” point, he kisses you on the forehead, cheek, or lips, depending on the severity.

“My sweetheart, so cute, even when you’re angry. Even when your brows are almost one because of how much you’re scowling ♡. I love you so much ♥. (PUNCH HIM!!! You try; he catches your fist and chuckles before kissing it. HE IS INSUFFERABLE!!!)

Related to above, is experienced with kids. Definitely wants lots of them. Proposes to outdo his older siblings and have four or five children. Is excited to get to the point of your married life where you get to call each other “Mama”, “Papa”, “Mommy”, or “Daddy”.

“How is Mama doing today, hmmm ♥?”, “Mitsu…really…?” “No, no, you should be saying “Papa” ♥”

Your kid: “Papa, Papa! I want—” Kureishi: “Hmmhmm, ask Mama/Daddy/Mommy ♡”

Your kid: “Papa, can I go outside to play?” Kureishi: “Mm, I don’t know, can you?”

Teases his kids too, but his favorite person to tease will always be you.

If you can have biological children, they will have his natural pink hair. Sorry. (I refuse!! the anime’s color choice!!! PINK-HAIRED KUREISHI is the only valid Kureishi!)

NSFW

Has gotten around before dating you, mostly short flings, never anything too long-term because of his busy schedule.

Sex…in his chiropractor uniform. Have you SEEN how tightly snug that damn uniform is on him? It’s like he’s doing it on purpose. His muscles and chest are ready to burst out at the seams. He’s definitely closed up shop early or heck, spontaneously to fuck you on his massage table.

Sometimes (around a 50/50 chance. THAT kind of sometimes), massages can lead to sex, it’s up to you if you want to stop his advances or let him continue. He can’t help himself—he loves you too much.

You’re lying on your chest, eyes closed and smiling, thinking today is a normal Mitsuyo Massage Day…and then as he’s massaging your back, he snakes his arm under and fondles your chest, his calloused fingers playing with your nipples. Well. Looks like you were wrong today.

HATES being belittled. Ask him “Is that all you got?”, “Can you go any slower?”, “Is this it?”, “Are you really a martial artist?” and you will open the (white) flood gates. You WILL get folded in half, you WILL get creampied many times, and you WILL not walk for weeks. He will NOT massage you afterwards to teach you a lesson. During these times, aftercare will mostly consist of kisses and praises.

“Hmm?? It hurts? Well, that’s what brats like you get ♡.” *kisses u*

Holds your hand during sex and loves brushing his thumb over your wedding ring. It’s mark and proof that you’re his. (though he does love marking you inside, too)

I WILL make everyone have breeding kinks and LOVE the mating press!!!

Can go for many rounds. He’s a martial artist, what do you expect? Him being in his mid-thirties isn’t an obstacle, either.

A good 6.5-7 inches, not too girthy, but can give you a good stretch. Cum taste ranges from nothing to just a bit salty, making it easy to swallow despite the slight thick texture.

His crushing grip on your thighs, legs, waist, or hips leaves bruises. He does that on purpose. He doesn’t want to break his beloved’s bones, but he does want to leave marks.

Pussy-eating expert!!! Never gets exhausted and will never complain about his tongue being tired or numb. RIDE HIS FACE and he will be a happy man. No such thing as too heavy for this martial artist.

Overall: amazing husband, amazing sex skills, ALWAYS knows what he’s saying and doing. 1000/10

[thus-wrote-mrs-zeppeli]

Diego Brando x Reader in:

He Asked me to Stay

And I Stole His Room

Content PLZ READ: Established relationship, Married only in the public eye (at first), implied cheating, suggestive content, under the influence of Scary Monsters so he has some Primal Urges iykyk, but ends fluffily in weird Diego Brando fashion, reader and Diego are kinda both jerks, violence and gore talk

MDNI

Not explicit smut but features suggestive scenes, implications and dialogue

Starts headcanon style and evolves into a fic

-Relationship Headcanons:

What a gold digger.

He’s cute. Handsome, wealthy…and sure you knew he only wanted you for your money and renowned family name, but once you mentioned you knew what he was up to, he’s blunt with you.

Yeah, he does just want you for what he can get from you. But he reminds you of what he can give you in return. He likes money, he likes having that status and living the extravagant life…so he won’t be stingy with you if he were your husband. You want expensive clothes and jewels and carriages and horses? He’ll give them to you. He likes being rich, and spoiling his partner and watching them flaunt that wealth makes him feel rich.

You’ll be living right next to the spotlight constantly on Dio. Diego had just come in first on some prestigious race? The crowd disperses around him just enough for you to get through and give him a congratulatory kiss. Then he’d hold you close as you posed for a picture for the press. You’d smile and go along with it, a hand on his chest, but you weren’t really a fan of being so close when he was all sweaty after a race. Still, if his one expectation of you was to make him look good in public, you could grin and bear it. Especially since you knew he’d hand you a thick stack of cash if you asked while he was in a good mood.

Your marriage is not the most romantic and passionate at first, given it was much more of a mutually beneficial thing than a mutual attraction and affection thing.

When you look at him, you do find him attractive. Surprisingly soft, handsome features, paired with his small but lean build, and his hair always felt nice in the rare moments where you got to touch it. If he had nothing else that appealed to you, he was undeniably easy on the eyes.

He doesn’t care if you see anyone on the side, as long as you’re not getting spotted by any prominent newspapers. Play with whatever people you want, he’ll even pay for your dates on occasion if he’s feeling generous.

He doesn’t care if you want to sleep in two separate beds either; the two of you only have to keep up appearances in public.

He is a man, though. Sometimes he wants his spouse in bed with him.

-transitioning into fic:

(Timeline wise I guess it’s take place after the race, au where he survived but hasn’t accomplished his goals entirely.

First time he’s been around reader under the influence of Scary Monsters)

-The first few times he implied he was longing for you were quite memorable. He doesn’t usually pay you much attention when he gets home. You go about your normal evening schedule, reading on the sofa, not even bothering to look up when you hear the front door opening.

To your surprise he doesn’t head straight to the bedroom like he normally does. He’s just standing in the living room, watching you, even after he’s unbuttoned his jacket and hung it up.

“What are you staring at?” you didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly. You’re not even used to talking to him in the first place, let alone in a kind manner.

You feel his admittedly pretty eyes look you up and down. You imagine most of Diego’s fans wish they were you right now. Otherwise you don’t think much of it, just assuming he’s feeling especially irritating today.

He tilts his head. You feel his gaze right on your thighs. “I just never noticed how attractive your legs are.”

You have to look up at your book at that.

“What? What’s gotten into you?” you huff, assuming this is another one of his strange jokes.

He sits down next to you, his hand on the back of the sofa, so his arm is right behind your head. He leans in real close. You weren’t unfamiliar with him being in your personal space, but this was totally different than the usual instances when you were close to him, so you instinctively scoot away from him.

“What’s gotten into YOU?” he counters, gently poking your shoulder. “Can’t I sit next to you? I’m your husband, so I don’t think it’s strange.”

“I suppose not,” you reply dismissively, forcing yourself to cease your shifting.

He doesn’t say anything else. His eyes are boring a hole into your side profile. You try to return to your reading, telling yourself Diego is just messing with you again for some reason.

He lets you read for just long enough that you start to think he’s going to be satisfied with observing you for a bit before he eventually wandered his way to his bed.

“DIO?!” you squeaked out when he suddenly buried his face into your neck. One hand goes to the back of your head, tugging your hair so your chin tilts up and he can have easier access to the flesh of your neck. His other hand shuts your book and tosses it aside, and then grips your thigh.

You’ve been in a public relationship with him for a while now. His presence, his touch…none of it was unfamiliar or uncomfortable to you. Just…confusing. Especially when he decided to randomly snuggle you. It was one thing to pose as a romantic, handsome couple for the public. But you have no idea what he thought he was up to right now.

You can hear that irritating and invasive sniffing he does, feel his nose pressed up against your neck. It’s odd but. He’s not hurting you or doing anything you especially hate so…you trail one hand up to his wrist, holding it softly to simulate something affectionate.

“Have you started using a new soap or something…?” he places a wet kiss where he can feel your pulse in your neck, giving you a test lick, and then loudly licking his lips. “You smell so good tonight.”

Why was your husband so WEIRD?! You just raise an eyebrow at him.

“No…no new soap.”

“Huh.” He somehow buries his face even deeper into your neck, sniffing and prodding your skin with his nose, apparently determined to smell every inch he could reach. “…guess I’ve just never noticed before.”

His face trails down your body, sniffing and nuzzling, all the way down to your thighs, where he rubs his cheek along them. “Soft…” he thinks out loud. He makes himself comfortable in your lap, curling up almost like a cat. He’s making a low rumbling sound in his throat that made you think of purring. You’re not entirely sure how to react, so you gently run your fingers through his pretty blond hair, like stroking a pet. He hums in approval of this, then abandons exploring your clothed thighs with his hands and decides his face is much more appropriate.

First just a couple of kisses, but he’s in a Mood tonight apparently.

You squeaked much more with surprise than pain when he gives your thigh a bite.

“DIO-”

“Mm? Did I hurt you?” he blinks up at you, not quite pulled out of whatever trance has overtaken him.

Well, no, the bite didn’t really hurt, but there was a bit more force behind it than just a playful nibble.

Well if he was going to be all bold tonight, you were going to do what you wanted to him, too.

“No, it didn’t hurt, but…” you cup his cheek in your hand. His skin is not as soft as usual…a bit dry and hard and surprisingly cold. “…Your teeth.”

He leans into your cheek, and as your fingers approach his mouth he parts his lips to give you access to his teeth. You have a feeling he’s going to use this opportunity to lick your fingers but you let your curiosity get the best of you.

You trace the tips of your index and middle finger along his top teeth, but only a quick glance is necessary to see a glinting set of fangs in his mouth.

“Diego?”

You hook your fingers around one of the fangs, the gesture much more intimate than you were intending, eliciting a particularly loud purr from him at your boldness.

“Were your teeth always so sharp…” you comment more than ask. He playfully nips at you in reply, flashing those teeth at you.

“No~” he remarks cryptically, a smug smirk on his face telling you he had no interest in elaborating. He rests his chin on his hand, still using your thighs as his bed.

You frown, poking him in the cheek, the skin still feeling strange. He was being especially odd tonight.

He shrugs.

“You know, the nights have been getting colder recently,” he seemingly changes the subject.

“Have they? I haven’t noticed.”

“They have, I’m sure of it!”

“Mm, it might just be you,” you reply, placing your palm on his forehead. His skin is definitely cold.

“It’s the night,” he insists, pouting a bit because he doesn’t like when you talk back.

“Ok…”

“You don’t believe me.”

“I do.”

“No you don’t. You’re just saying that.”

“….I haven’t noticed any cold nights,” you admit. You Really didn’t want to argue with him over something dumb.

He furrows his eyebrows a bit at you, but doesn’t seem too irritated.

“You’re warm,” he points out, intertwining his fingers with yours. You notice his nails are very sharp from the way he curls them into the back of your hand. You make a mental note to trim them for him later.

“Am I?”

“Yeah. Like a rock that’s been sitting out in the sun. It’s very nice, I want to lay on you.”

You can’t help a tiny huff of laughter from that ridiculous simile. He seems happy he got you to laugh.

“You’re sounding like a reptile right now,” you sigh, a small smile tugging at your lips. Something about his oddness could effortlessly drop your guard once he talked enough.

He’s getting sick of being subtle.

“You should be in my bed with me tonight.”

Your eyes widen for a second, but you did see where this was going. You find it a bit cute and you’re not really opposed…but you’re not going to make it that easy for him.

“If you’re cold, you could just get another blanket.”

He frowns in disinterest at the idea, pretending to think about it. “Well yeah, I guess. But don’t you get lonely cooped up in a different room from me every night?”

“No,” you smirk, poking the tip of his nose. “Do you?”

Teasing him flips a switch. The smile disappears from his face, his eyes darkening.

He sits up at an almost inhuman speed, straddling your lap, hands gripping the back of the sofa on either side of you. He’s short and slim, so he doesn’t really weigh much on your thighs, but the sheer weight of his gaze and the suddenness of his movement makes you shut up and pay attention.

He leans his face close to you, tilting his chin just enough to be as physically close as possible without your faces actually touching.

He moves slowly, deliberately, everything around you seeming to quiet down so that the only thing you hear is Diego’s breathing, and the sound of him swallowing as he angles his mouth closer and closer to your ear.

In contrast to how cold his skin is, his breath is hot against your ear.

“Maybe I do. Is it so wrong for me, as your husband, that I actually want you in my bed tonight? You smell so good and your body is so warm and even the sound of your breathing is cute.”

He moves one hand to your neck, poking with a sharp nail the exact spot he can feel your pulse.

“Your heart is beating faster,” he notes.

“We-well YEAH!!” you gasp. “Do you HEAR yourself? ANYONE would be embarrassed after hearing that!” You place a hand on his shoulder and push him slightly away, so you can escape the spotlight of his eyes that was making your already warm skin heat up further.

“Dio, what the HELL, this is-you’re…if this is another one of your weird jokes it’s not funny!”

He holds your chin with just enough force so he can pull your gaze back to his, but not enough to hurt you.

The almost primal intensity in those blue eyes doesn’t quite fade.

“That would be a cruel joke, don’t you think? I’ll even carry you to the bedroom if you want.”

He pulls your hand to his chest.

“Please.”

There’s a genuine hint of yearning in his face. You knew him well enough to know that when Dio really wanted something he’d do almost anything for it, even ask nicely.

You’re suddenly acutely aware of how warm your cheeks are, and how hard you’re breathing. You swallow.

“I’ll say it again if I have to.”

“No…no, I believe you…” your voice is a bit shaky. You quickly give him a few short nods, telling him you’re willing to sleep in his bedroom tonight.

He presses his lips against yours, finally. For the first time in private, after a year of a purely materially beneficial marriage, the two of you are actually expressing some affection outside of the public eye.

His lips are a bit dry and cold. But at the moment you don’t find yourself minding, slipping your arms along his shoulders, before tangling one of your hands in his blond hair. You grip a large chunk tightly, pushing the back of his head with your shut fingers, simultaneously deepening and extending the kiss.

He’s practiced in multitasking, using the opportunity to readjust, moving his feet firmly on the ground, slipping a hand down your thighs, cupping the area right above your knees, and then moving his other hand strategically to your back.

Applying pressure on your back pushes you up against him further, and the new position allows him to pick you up with ease.

You let out a cute little gasp of surprise at the movement, breaking the kiss, but unwilling to keep your mouth off of him for long.

As he carries you to the bedroom, your lips explore his face, kissing and nipping at his jaw and the corner of his mouth, not stealing his entire attention so he can concentrate just enough on walking.

Then you nuzzle the top of your head under his chin.

It all felt so…comfortable. Like you could fall asleep in his arms in this moment where he actually felt like a doting and devoted husband to you, instead of just some charismatic gold digger that wanted you for that sexy inheritance your rich daddy left for you. It’s making you realize how pent up you’ve been for some real affection, you can’t keep your hands or your mouth off of Diego after he’s finally shown you something resembling passion.

“Could you get the door for me?”

You didn’t realize you closed your eyes until his voice prompts you to open them.

You reach out and swing open the door handle of the master bedroom. He pushes the door with his back.

As your eyes explore the master bedroom, you’re reminded of how rarely you actually come in here. If you ever did go into “his parts” of the house, it was usually his office, which functioned more as a trophy room than anything…and you usually only went in there to curtly inform him supper was ready, or that he received mail.

He’s taken good care of the bedroom. Fancy sheets, silk pillows…your eyes wander from the bed to around the room. You don’t even remember when he went shopping for such expensive curtains for the windows. The furniture though…the large wardrobe and elegant game table with a golden chess set sitting atop it…you remember him commissioning those from a renowned craftsman. It was one of the rare moments he had let you in to his world, showing you some of the designs he was thinking, and asking your preferences. Though you were sure he was going to go with whichever one he personally liked best it was nice that he tried to include you in something for once.

“You really love feeling rich, Dio,” you note out loud. It’s faint now after such a long day, but he was always generous with his gaudy, expensive cologne. You can smell it clearly on his neck.

“I love BEING rich,” he corrects you, tossing you gently into the fluffy blankets of the bed. You lose sight of him as soon as you land because you sink so deeply into the pillows and sheets.

You squirm around in an attempt to see over the ocean of blankets, catching a glimpse of his bare back. He’s getting changed into his luxurious pajamas, never having any issue with removing his clothes in front of you.

Such confidence. Confidence that bordered on, and sometimes was plain arrogance…

Right in this moment you’re beginning to realize you like that about him. The small sparks of attraction you had initially felt for him before your quick courtship, you knew now it was because of that confidence and the way he carried himself.

And he had so many fans. They clung to his chest and kissed his cheeks or followed him around crying and screaming for his attention…he was a prize…

You were no better than Diego.

He saw you as a status symbol, and you saw him as a first place trophy waiting to be won by you.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when he sits on the bed beside you in his expensive silk pajamas, that low rumbling still in his throat and his demeanor more relaxed than usual.

“I’ve closed all the windows and yet it’s still so cold in here,” he points out, his eyes wandering from your face.

You’re beginning to think it’s not just an obvious ploy to get cozy with you, and he actually is cold.

“I’ll buy you some thicker pajamas tomorrow then,” you reply, stretching out and nuzzling your face against a large pillow, savoring the softness and the smell of Diego lingering on it.

He laughs, slipping his freezing hand under your shirt so he can access the warmth of your skin. Apparently he was serious about wanting to use you as a heat source tonight.

“COLD!” you giggle and squirm at his frozen fingertips on your stomach.

“I told you,” he replies as if you were just reacting to the temperature in the room.

He flips the blanket over the two of you, and then slides his other hand onto the skin of your torso, settling his cold hands comfortably on your back. He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, purring contentedly.

“Goodness, if you were any closer you’d be literally under my skin,” you comment, rubbing his upper back. His shoulders were stiff from all that horseback riding.

“I WISH…” he replies with a loud yawn. “I’m sure you’re even warmer inside.”

“Oh…”You blush a bit at that comment, and he mumbles something about your skin heating up pleasantly.

Though, as usual, he makes it weird.

“If I could somehow get under your skin without killing you, your blood and organs and everything would still stay warm because your beating heart would keep everything working. Now that would be one pleasant sleep; I could use your lungs as a pillow.”

“Dio, what the hell are you talking about?” You know he’s just thinking out loud again and being weird on purpose but STILL, what a thing to say.

“There’s no way to do that without hurting you though so…forget it. This is nice too.”

He wraps a leg over your thigh, placing a few lazy kisses along your collarbone before resting his cheek against you with a soft sigh.

“You’re so strange,” you place a kiss on the top of his head. The only reply you get is his snoring.

He must’ve been quite comfortable to have fallen asleep so fast.

You figure you better hurry up and do the same before his snoring drives you crazy.

-

Author’s note: I think I captured his weirdness decently but I think I’m a little off on his actual attitude towards being rich and famous. Meh this is just a silly little fic and not an in-depth character analysis so I won’t let it bother me too much.

The title is a verse from Scary Monsters (and super creeps) by David Bowie

[stickyspeckledlight]

“Indeed, dear mister Stoneheart! My wonderworking will take effect in a few days, and your good luck streak will end! That’ll be 100 000 credits :)”

For da gambler man

Snake oil? Only if you don’t look at it the right way.

(Speckled's End of Year Interaction Prompts, 12/2/24 ~ 1/1/25)

The Stoneheart’s smirk grows, a quirk just at the corner of his lips. It teeters on a careful precipice of amusement and threat, of control and chance. It’s nothing new to you, though. Smug confidence isn’t new to you, but it’s the first time you’ve seen it on someone dressed in such finery.

“That’s a first,” he purrs, resting his cheek in his palm. “In all my time, I’ve never had anyone offer me bad luck. Curses, yes—but not a…blessing.” He comfortably leers at you through his sunglasses, lazily tracing the rim of a cloudy, cracked glass filled with something closer to piss than whiskey.

“The only difference between a curse and a blessing is intent,” you wink, “And with what you told me, Mr. Stoneheart, that luck of yours IS a curse! I mean, what kind of luck is winning a lifetime supply of toothpicks? That luckiness of yours is no good!”

His grin widens, “Indeed. Why, before I say anything else, I must commend you for your generosity!” He lightly claps, putting on all the theatrics you’ve come to expect, “100,000 credits in exchange for curing me? Why, I can’t fathom a deal better than this…”

“Right you are, Mr. Stoneheart!” You snap of your fingers, calloused and rough, almost alien in how bony it is these days. “But careful: my power is a…finicky thing, so we can only do this NOW!”

“Oh?” Suddenly his smile grows sharper, “That’s new.”

“I can’t reveal all my tricks,” you smoothly reply. You catch yourself tapping your foot hurriedly against the pavement and stop. You shouldn’t think about what you can do with that money; you can simply do with the money, after this rich sucker forks over his cash. Luck, as a curse? Who is he kidding? Why would he throw that away, when you and everyone else you know would kill for it?

“Shame.” He says with completely insincerity. He stands and pushes his chair back, “I was hoping you’d find a creative way to explain your con. I was looking forward to what you’d come up with so much, y’know?”

You lock up and stiffen. This rich playboy was acting stupid before! Why’s he suddenly calling you out?! “H-huh? A con? Mr. Stoneheart, you must be—”

“Don’t.” He smiles, “You know, I did introduce myself as ‘Aventurine, of the Ten Stonehearts: a cog in the machine of the Strategic Investment Department.’ Do you actually know who I am?”

“An IPC executive,” you hastily reply; you can’t get on his bad side, you CAN’T.

But he only continues to look at you, looking above you with a foxlike expression.

“That’s correct, but dig a bit deeper,” he peppily nudges. “You’re a smart one; I’m sure you can do it!”

“Uh…” you frown, “You…you make investments?”

“That’s something everyone does.” He shakes his head, “So: no. How about I give you my formal title? I’m a Non-performing Asset Liquidation Specialist.”

…You do not understand whatever that corporate mumbo jumbo means.

Well, phooey. You’re fucked, man. Your con is bust. If anything, this guy had all the cards before you even saw his face.

“Oh, Mr. Stoneheart…” you smile again, standing to meet his eyes, “You it said yourself: we’re friends,” his grin does not fall, but his eyes crinkle with cheshire glee, “So, let’s not bei business into this. And that applies to me too! I should’ve known better; this blessing’s on the house, friend.”

He does not say anything, letting your words hang in the air, and stress gather in your chest before he finally speaks.

“Slow recovery, but it’s not half bad. Especially for someone who hasn’t been in business long. You’ve got some potential,” he whistles. You must’ve had a ridiculous expression on your face, because he just laughs. Mirth dances in his eyes, tinted pink by his sunglasses. “Oh, my bad; I’ll play along just for you, my jewel.”

You’re not given any time to react to the sudden new nickname. “Yes, I can’t believe how astute you truly are, my friend,” he sighs wistfully, clutching his heart and smiling like you two are really, really, really good friends. The whiplash hits you with a crack, and now, you aren’t sure if you’ve ever seen him without a mask. “Still, I would feel bad about just getting a blessing from you for free, so…how do you feel about becoming my employee?”

An employee? What? You were trying to CON him, and now he wants to hire you?!

“W-what?”

“That’s right,” he bows, “I meant what I said, my friend. You’re a diamond in the rough, and it’s my job to polish you up—we at the Strategic Investment Department prioritize long term over short term, you know.”

“But I—” tried to con you, you almost stammer before catching yourself, “—have, uh…”

Well, you never liked him even when he was playing the part of a rich fool, but seeing how that in of itself might’ve just been a mask…you don’t want to be near this guy, period. And now that you think about it, you’ve never seen his eyes.

He makes a zipping motion with his fingers and across his mouth, “My friend,” he kindly winks, “Don’t bother objecting! Tell me: what are two things you now know about my job?”

…All of the whiplash and sudden questions seemingly unrelated to anything said…you think you’re going to get a headache, once your mind is clear from panic and stress.

“Um…you’re a liquidation specialist and…go for long term investments.”

“Perfect; 10/10!” He claps, “Now let’s dig even deeper—dig into you, [Name].”

Time stops.

“[Name]?” You scoff, mouth twitching, “Mr. Stoneheart…are you projecting onto me?”

“Don’t lie, my jewel,” the nickname makes you bristle, and he sighs, “Now’s the time to drop the platitudes and acts. There’s always a time for veiled conversations, but ah, I think there’s no need for that, now.”

For some reason, even though your cowardice has already been shown, now’s the time you decide to keep up the cheery salesman act. In the back of your mind, you shake your head. How could you immediately prove what he just said?

But that’s just the back of your mind.

“Oh, Mr. Stoneheart! Why would I ever lie to you? We’re friends.”

“Indecisive, are you?” He hums, “That’s alright. That’s perfectly fine. Indecisiveness doesn’t erase debt either way.”

“D-debt? Oh, but Mr. Stoneheart—!”

“You can’t erase what your stupid father did.” He plainly states, taking a coin out and playing with it, “Mx. [Name], my condolences for what happened to you; falling into poverty like this wasn’t your fault, but…fault also doesn’t erase debt.”

This time, you’re shaking. You can’t do anything but watch. He was just supposed to be a rich, stupid fool to wring money out of—who—how—how did things go this way—

“Here’s what I was thinking. Work for me, and you’ll be able to pay off your debt without worry. You’ll be provided a reduced salary, of course, but you’ll have enough to…” his mouth quirks, “…get by.”

He saunters around the table, and leans against it lazily. He leans closer, “You understand that there’s no other choice, right?” At your continued, fearful silence, he chuckles, “Don’t worry, Mx. [Name]. I’m the one hiring you; you know I’ll treat you well! Like you said, we’re friends. Good friends, even.”

You hear the sound of a coin flick; you move your head to see it fall onto the table, covered by the Stoneheart’s hand.

A leather clad finger hooks under your chin and drags your gaze to his, “But I’ve got another idea,” he offers, “Gemstones are made to be cut, sold, and coveted. You’re no different…but you’re still rough. You’ve barely been lodged out of the cave walls. So, I have a proposal…just for a beauty like you,” he winks playfully, but it does nothing to alleviate the sheer intimidation and power he’s exerted on you.

The hand on the table slides off, hovering by your wrist.

“Follow through on that bad luck of yours,” he gently leers. Something cold and sleek and heavy slips to your grip, “If you do…100,000 credits? No; that’s wouldn’t be enough to convey my generosity. I’m going all-in. A carefree life would be yours in an instant. But if you don’t…”

The revolver’s holster clicks against his chest.

“I’ll be free to shape you however I like; and covet you with these lucky hands.”

[marked-questions]

VIP | Deadpool+Wolverine x Stripper reader 16+. Part 1(maybe)

cw: three-way(?), alcohol, hair pulling, blowjob/s, swearing, light mask play, John Doe's/unknown names (?)

Good money, good quickies, good sex. It was a loop throughout the week. Tips were what you were really yearning for this week, knowing guys have been very picky with who gets extra pay recently. But no biggie, it was what you worked for; the cash, the adrenaline, the bragging.

Make-up, see through clothing, and pole practice. What else was there to it? The sex could be better, but hey, somebody's gotta fuck the rich, white drunkies.

Tonight was booming. It was a Friday of all days; Fridays mean big bank, Fridays mean bigger private rooms, and especially bigger dicks.

Tonight was your lucky night. You were in charge of a VIP room, assigned to a drunkie and his lackey.

You slipped into the private room, right before the two arrived, taking notice of the area around you. Low lights in a deep, burgundy red covered the area. A long, dark-colored couch rested along the wall, with three different bottles of alcohol on the glass table in front of it. And in front of the table was a pole, nice and shiny just for you, as well as two chairs in front of the walkway near the silk curtain entryway.

You walk over to the pole, grazing your hands against the cold metal. It felt good, the temperature on your delicate fingers. It was like bliss in all of the drunken chaos you find yourself in, having to fuck mindless men, women and anyone wanting to be craved without a label.

You grasped onto the pole, curving and twisting around it swiftly, your right hand gripping onto the pole behind you, as your upper body leaned forward, your ass feeling the cold sensation of the pole.

Your body snaked around the pole, swaying to the music; watching the door. Two guys stepped in, one with an irritated look on his face and a Scotch bottle in his hand, and his lackey, you assumed-- was the other with a Deadpool mask on. You wondered if this was some sort of Roleplay, and you were the only one who wasn't notified of it.

The Lackey was shirtless, what you assumed was a skin condition spotted his body. Not that you minded, it turned you on how it made him more attractive. While the other, watched your body squirm around the pole, taking a chug of his Scotch, as he sat down in a chair. Sitting down, Lackey caught your attention, beckoning at you with a finger. "Don't be shy now, go ahead and introduce yourself. I wanna know who I'll be fucking tonight.."

You walk over to them both confidently, "My friends call me Domino." Drunkie sucked his teeth.

"Enough talkin' doll, on your knees. Let's get this shit over with." He starts to unzip his pants, taking yet another chug of his addicting alcohol. You listen, infatuated with how this'll end.

"Oh, Right to it? You must need it more than I do. How long have you been craving pussy? What, 8 years? Fuck, that's a sob story." Lackey teased. Drunkie eyed him, unzipping his pants. "Keep fuckin' testin' me and I'll give ya somethin' to cry about." He responded, adjusting himself in the chair, as you sat on your knees between both chairs. You took both of your hands, slowly sliding both down the shafts of both of their cocks, loving the reactions from both of them. Both of them let out soft moans, never taking their eyes off of you as you stroked them.

You teased, taking Drunkie's thick length in your mouth, while edging Lackey with your thumb on his tip. Your thumb circled around his tip, firm and slow, you could feel him become sticky, pushing deeper into his slit. His groans filled the room, slightly muffled by the mask covering his face. It was bliss to hear the way he ached.

On the other hand, Drunkie watched you, Scotch in his left hand, not much to be heated from him except small heavy breaths. But that eye contact held strong, he watched the way you teased, your tongue overlapping his tip, causing a small groan to come out. That devilish look in his eye, that low hiss he let out every time you went back over his tip,

He was fucking edging you. He was making you work for it.

You picked up speed, bobbing your head, and removing your hand from Lackey, you made sure he felt the back of your throat, causing him to groan. Taking ahold of the back of your head and your hair with his furry arms, he pushed your head all the way down onto his length, taking him completely into your throat. His pubes brushed against your nose about 15 times, before he removed you off of his cock. Saliva ran down your chin, you coughed a fuckton trying to regain yourself, as tears ran down your face.

Eyes blurry, you knew your makeup was smeared, but fuck, that dick was a little too good.

In your side view, you watched Lackey jerk himself off, watching the both of you.

"Use your tongue more, he fucking loves that shit.." he spilled out between breaths, stroking his length faster. You listened, trying your best to wrap your tongue around his girthy cock, not knowing if it'll do any damage.

"go ahead baby, use one hand, make him cum all over that pretty face.." Lackey groaned out, his tip pumping with pre. "fuck, watching you put your pretty lips on him like that..., I'm feeling a little jealous.. am i next or..? 'Cus, I volunteer, holy shit..."

Drunkie gripped the Scotch bottle tight, throwing his head back as he pumped your mouth full of his length, groaning loudly. His moans were almost growl-like, grunting, he grit his teeth as he busted the Scotch bottle in his hand, blade-like claws stretching through his skin between his knuckles as he released his load into your mouth, overflowing your mouth full of his seed.

Lackey spewed his load as well, cumming all over himself as he watched you make his partner feel good, letting his head drop back over the chair.

You choked, trying to keep all of his cum in his mouth. You swallowed it in a gulp, trying to regain yourself afterwards.

"Holy fuck... When is it my turn?.."

You chuckled, wiping the sides of your mouth clean with your wrist. Panting, you noticed his load was so big, you got cum on your top.

"Spin for me, love. Show me that pretty ass of yours.."

"And uh, while you're at it, take off that thong for me.."

Yes sir.

[julietsbody]

Okay first of all You are amazing and really feeding my obsession over Coryo😵‍💫❤️I love Your fics so much

Second of all…

What are Your thoughts of Coriolanus with spit kink who just loves punishing and degrading reader in public places?

Like pushing you in the nearest empty room to just spank You and spit in Your throat for being a bad girl😵‍💫

a/n : thank you so much!!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა also i love this idea sm… he DEFINITELY loves to humiliate reader! i hope u enjoy this!

tags : orgasm denial , edging , spanking , spitting , spit kink , angry sex , public sex

( divider by mewmyu )

coriolanus snow was your boyfriend, he was a good boyfriend, he showered you in riches when he could, spoil you in expensive roses or all the finest things. he would save up his pocket cash and surprise you with something you had been wishing for when he finally was able to afford it. but, that’s only when you were good to him as well.

when you weren’t, when you refused to wear something he recently bought you, or wore shorter skirts to tease him in public. today was one of these days in which you decided to wear those mini skirts, and god, he hated it. he hated how he could see your ass peaking underneath, because he knew everyone else could as well.

such a slut, it didn’t take long for him to speed - walk after you in the busy academy halls, eventually catching up to you and abruptly taking hold of you. he keeps walking until he finds a nearby empty class, ignoring your questions as he slams you into the classroom.

you breathe against him, “coriolanus? what are you—“

“you wore that on purpose, didn’t you? fucking slut, i spend so much on you, so much fucking money,” he moves to take hold of your jaw, prying your glossed lips apart, “and you make me look like an idiot by showing off your body like this, you want me to look like an idiot?”

“no, no.. i promise, coriolan—“

“don’t call me that.” he snaps immediately, “stick your tongue out.”

so you did, you did anything he wanted you to, and immediately he spat into your mouth without any warning, “swallow.”

the taste of his saliva smooths down your throat as you gulp it down, and your doe eyes peer up at him, “i’m sorry.”

“are you, now?” he chuckles, spinning you around so you’re not pushed, front - first, against one of the nearest desks, “surely you just love to embarrass me, after everything i’ve done for you.”

before you can speak, his hand spikes against your ass, already reddening the skin there. you yelp into the wall, mumbling out incoherent apologies as his hand becomes relentless against your ass, slapping it until the skin is maroon.

tears prick at your eyes, glossing over your dilated pupils.

coriolanus’ eyebrows furrow as his hand moves to pull up your skirt, only to find that you are free of any panties as well. fucking hell. his jaw ticks, “you fucking bitch.”

it doesn’t take long for him to have you bent over the desk, gripping the wood for dear life as he slams into you. he doesn’t respond to any of your incoherent mumbles, or sobs, or sweet apologies. no apology could remedy such slutty behavior, especially when you knew damn well what you were doing.

his fingers lace around your neck, prying you off the desk and pulling you up against his chest, “look at me, you slut.”

his fingers are tight around your neck when you turn to him, rivers burning down your cheeks, puffy lips begging to feel his gentle kisses. but he doesn’t kiss you, of course not, he moves his free hand to pry your lips apart, tugging your tongue out before he harshly spits down your throat one more.

“swallow,” he feels the saliva travel down as you gulp, due to his tight fingers around your neck. it wasn’t enough to constrict you of air, but enough to teach you a lesson. his jaw shifts, “you’re so fucking tight— you gonna cum, hm?”

you nod immediately, moaning against him as he pounds you relentlessly, “yes, yes.. i— ‘m gonna cum— corio—“

“you think you deserve to cum? sweet girl, you’ve made a fool of me, why do you think you’re allowed satisfaction?“ he chuckles, “so entitled, spoiled bitch.”

he takes time to fuck into you until his cum is deep inside of you and you’re whimpering on his dick from your awaited orgasm, and he still doesn’t allow you the pleasure, he just pulls out and allows you to move exhausted against the desk. you breathe heavily, glass tears continuing to fall, “‘m sorry, coryo— please forgive me—“

“no,” he scoffs, tucking his softening dick back into his pants, “see you in debate, and change your fucking skirt.”

[kayesfanfics]

General Striker x Reader Headcanons

He hates too much PDA, only likes it when he’s either jealous or showing you off. Otherwise, refrain from kissing and hugging and all that lovey dovey crap, save it for when the both of you are in private. He’s got a bad boy reputation to hold up, and yes he likes to flaunt you but he doesn’t want to be too affectionate and have people realize you’re a weakness of his, especially with he people he works and deals with

He calls you stuff like darlin, pumpkin, sugar, doll face, sweetheart. You call him cowboy, stud, Casanova, babe, and you save daddy for when you want something cause you can NOT tell me Striker doesn’t refer to himself as daddy in the bedroom I’m sorry-

He really likes showing off for you, showcasing his strength, smooth singing voice, rugged good looks, everything. Will do some hard work for you like any repairs around the house, carrying heavy stuff for you, anything like that. Will cook for you as well, he’s really good at barbecue and def makes the best barbecue sauce you’ve ever tasted, and he’ll proudly smile when you dig into his food. Will sing for you if you ask him enough, yes he’s confident but with you he can be a little bashful since he actually wants you to like him. He’s secretly a big sap though and has probably written a song or two about/for you

Whenever you want to go out, he doesn’t have a ton of money to go crazy but he tries his best to find a less sleazy place where it’s less likely for creeps to hit on you and make you uncomfortable. Def the type to fight you on who pays the bill, and it’s often settled with you agreeing to pay for your own stuff, but then Striker will intercept the waiter and give him the cash to cover the both of you. You know he’s not exactly rich himself so you never expected any big fancy thing from him, but when you have date nights in he’ll make you a really nice candlelit dinner and blush a little when you call him a lover boy

But whenever the two of you do go to bars, he gets pretty protective cause he knows the kind of shit that washes up in these places. He knows you can handle yourself and have been for years before you met him, but he’s here now so he can help you out. So if the bartender gets a little too flirty or another customer gets a little too close to you, you hear the rattle and hiss from Striker as he glared at the person as a warning to back off. If the person doesn’t listen or dares to even lay a single finger on you, he WILL start a bar fight and get kicked out for you, he does NOT like anyone touching what’s his or making you feel uncomfortable and unsafe

You do go days, sometimes weeks without seeing him due to his work, but he’ll call you on his burner phone when he’s free to check in with you. You’re not allowed to call him and don’t ever have his numbers to his phone, just in case because he could get caught or something. Which is fine, cause he always calls you in the evening when he’s winding down for the day to say hi and make sure you’re okay. He’ll listen to you ramble about your day, and sometimes he’ll fall asleep on the phone with you, listening to your voice and you smile when you realize he’s asleep before saying goodnight and hanging up

When he comes home all roughed up, you scold him as you grab the first aid kit, which is often kept out now rather than tucked away under the bathroom sink. He rants about how a guy named Blitz and his other imps keeps beating him, but you could honestly care less as you tend to his wounds for him. He’s extra grumpy but you kiss him on the cheek and he softens up a bit, accepting your offer to head to bed early and cuddle a bit. He’s definitely a cuddler once he softens up with you, loves to have you in his arms and sometimes even lets you hold him instead if he’s in the mood for it. And after a beat down, he wants nothing more than to lay on your chest and let you play with his hair or rub his back as he groans from his sore body

CAMPING DATES. He’s already got all the stuff to spend nights out in the desert for his job, so it doesn’t cost him more money and it’s just the two of you. You’ll both ride Bombproof out into the middle of nowhere with nobody around for miles, setting up a fire and lying against his horse to look up at the sky. He’ll give you his jacket when you get cold, claiming he’s just fine but he’s trying not to shiver so you don’t feel bad. Or you can both cuddle up in a blanket, your head on his shoulder as the two of you chat while he roasts some food for the both of you over the fire, giving the leftover scraps to Bombproof

[yerimbrit]

[flufftober day 12, wc: 1k] - shady cemetery cleaning gig : y. jiyoon

AS A HIGHSCHOOLER IN NEED OF CASH, and quick, for whatever reason, you’ve taken to accepting any gigs you can find, and well… let’s just say some of them might be pretty shady as you’d expect. 

that’s how you find yourself at a cemetery, cleaning tombstones and maybe patrolling the area while you’re at it. the job isn’t really the problem, per se, but the shift time is from midnight to five in the morning, and the person who was offering the job just gave you the money (which made your wallet quite a bit heavier) and gave you an address. 

(upon hearing this, jiyoon, your best friend, was extremely concerned and rightfully so. she pauses mid-bite to give you the most confused face you’ve ever seen her make, and lowers her spoon. you stay staring at each other for a moment, and then she sighs and turns in her seat to face you, deadpanning, “you’ve gone mad, haven’t you?”

“what? no,” you drag out the ‘o’, “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

jiyoon narrows her eyes at you. a bead of sweat drips down your temple; her death stare never fails to intimidate you. and so, you concede. somewhat. “okay, well, maybe a bit—but blackpink is touring soon! and i wanna get tickets for both of us…”

because of your reasoning, her gaze softens and your shoulders can finally untense. she takes the bite she didn’t get to eat earlier, and neatly arranges her silverware on the plate it came with from the café. “you’re not gonna make me go like always, are you..?”

“um…”

she politely smiles at you, leaving her share of the bill on the table and standing up. “kim y/n. i am not showing up to a shady cemetery gig you picked up.”)

true to her word, jiyoon unfortunately does not show up at the appointed time, and so you have to do this alone. at midnight. till five am. what a great life you’re living, right? walking around, alone, there’s something strange—all the tombstones are freshly cleaned. like, spotless; you see your own reflection in them when you point your 500 watt flashlight at them.

which is weird, because weren’t you hired to do just that? you even brought a bucket of water and cloths and new sponges, and cleaner fluid you bought specifically for this job. did your employer just randomly want to pay a burgeoning adult almost five hundred bucks for no reason? 

suddenly you’re aware of all of your surroundings. crickets chirp, and your only source of light is your flashlight and a single lamp post some feet away. you sense a presence lurking behind you, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. ‘there shouldn’t be anyone here besides me, there shouldn’t be, oh shit. oh fuck, y/n, on a count of three you run back home as fast as you can. one…’

you feel a gentle tap on your shoulder, and you don’t even turn around to see who or what it is because what the actual fuck, before you scream as loud as you can and alarm the figure who covers your mouth with their hand. you’re forcefully turned around, and—

“ji’hyoon!?” you attempt to exclaim, though your voice is muffled by her hand. she glares and shushes you, taking the hood off of her head.

“shut up, idiot, you’re disturbing the peace!” jiyoon scolds, furrowing her eyebrows at you. “and before you ask, yes i came to check up on you. no, it’s not because i missed you.”

aw, that’s sweet of her. but how did she- “i found this place because you literally texted me the details asking me to come,” she sighs, “it’s way too sketchy; i couldn’t let you go alone.”

you grin lopsidedly, “you’re a softie deep down, aren’t you, yoon jiyoon?”

she doesn’t answer and instead looks around, spotting the bucket of water and unused sponges by your feet. “aren’t you supposed to be working?”

oh, right. there isn’t really much to work on, though. you tell your best friend that, and she frowns in confusion, “wasn’t that your job, though?”

“what i’m saying, girl, why did that rich guy pay me so much if the job was already done?” you place your hands on your hips.

a rustling sound resounds through the air, making the both of you flinch aggressively. your eyes blink rapidly, countless thoughts of panic flooding your mind, “did you hear that?”

jiyoon is just as scared shitless as you, her hand shaking as she grabs yours and clenches the hold as hard as she can. 

a weak voice calls out from the direction of the graves, “help… help me…” 

without thinking, you make a run for it and drag your best friend with you, with only the intent to get as far away as you can. ‘screw the job, i want to live!’

“y/n!” jiyoon yelps in the midst of running, “if we die just know that i’ve loved you since middle school!”

the wild dash comes to a stop, and you have to keel over so you can heave your saving breaths. when you come to, you turn to jiyoon who’s in the same state, “you what!? you love me?” 

the girl’s mouth is agape, processing the words she rashly spat out in fear for her life. she shyly directs her gaze the other way, and mumbles something incoherent that you can’t catch. 

you manage to form a smile on your lips, trying to get her attention by snapping your fingers. except you can’t snap… so you have to clear your throat. “sorry, jiyoon. couldn’t quite hear you there.”

“i said yes! ugh…” she snaps, voice slightly raised a few octaves higher because of her bashfulness. the light of a lamp posts allows you to clearly see the red hot blush that has engulfed her cheeks.

“i’m glad that our life-or-death situation got you to finally confess, idiot,” you reach over to pull her into a playful, crushing hug. “i love you too.”

jiyoon melts into the embrace, sighing in relief from both the news of your reciprocation and the escape from the creepy cemetery. “those blackpink tickets better be worth it.”

“of course they will, i’m gonna get us front-row tickets—you know how good my reflexes are,” you quip, ruffling her hair.

the girl in your arms smiles, “then i trust you, kim y/n.”

“aww, so you are a softie deep down- ah, ahahaha! wait, wait, stop! i surrender, stop tickling me!”

flufftober masterlist!

a/n : this was the most fun to write ilysm yoon jiyoonjiyoonjiyoonjiyoon

[profanepurity]

Mummy Dust was a huge inspiration for how Mammon works in the AU, as well as how the three demons of Greed operate, which consists of Mammon, Beelzebub, and Belphagor (who I will be introduced soon!). A little bit of their working dynamics, as well as their relationships with Secondo and Terzo are below!

There's the obvious imagery of "I was carried on a wolf's back", which to me alludes to the symbolic relationship of wolves and greed. This is why I chose to make Mammon's more demonic form a wolfish creature with eight legs and eight eyes (wolf spider lol) in the second panel. Beelzebub's form is more ambiguous and massive, and he would probably present himself on a larger scale than I have him next to Secondo in the first panel. His mouth can open absurdly wide, and he has various other mouths along his body. The Lord of Flies of course possesses some bug-like characteristics and behaviors: constantly being accompanied by glowing insects, moving on all fours legs, sometimes six, and having moth-like wings. Mammon and Beelzebub operate like "two sides of the same coin", much like how I HC Terzo and Secondo to be in a lot of ways. Secondo allows himself to enjoy the pleasures of life, often as a means to cope with internal wounds and his discontent towards the world around him. On the flip side, Terzo uses his internal conflicts and struggles to fuel his pursuit of condemning hypocrisy, injustice, and corruption in the world, finding pleasure in that act. Secondo does this too, of course, but he does it in a way that is melancholy, weary almost. Secondo's approach to "spreading the word" is to appear as this cold, intimidating old man, but who really has a soft, bruised soul inside. By contrast, Terzo appears as this charming and attractive man, spinning beautiful lyrics with hidden self- hatred and anger. When they were boys, these roles were reversed. Secondo would often lash out as a child, holding onto resentment and emotions he didn't know how to process until he eventually learned to soften with age. Once again, on the opposite side, Terzo was a very happy boy who suffered oppression and hardship repeatedly until that happiness turned into masked anger for the sake of maintaining an image. In this AU, Secondo is devoted to the three proprietors of the umbrella sin of greed, and has an especially close relationship with Beelzebub and Mammon. It wasn't until Terzo entered early adulthood did Mammon approach him. The Lord of Wealth working with someone like Terzo might seem a little confusing until you understand the way the wolf hunts. Going back to Mummy Dust for a moment, Mammon's method of obtaining and devouring sin can really be summarized with the line, "I'm the magnet for stupidity". Mammon represents rapacity, and he feeds off of intense desire for monetary profit, but he himself find it to be disgusting and stupid. Mammon likes to let his victims marinate a bit. "I'll smother you in riches, 'til you choke on sordid mirth.", is essentially Mammon tempting weak minded pigs with their desires just to lure them into their own demises. He attracts those who are dumb enough to worship money so he can devour them. He literally eats the rich. He is "... the ruler of the earth" for that reason, as money is the ultimate dictator over mankind.

Mammon himself is also someone that holds a lot of underlying self hatred because of who he is. He feels as though his existence is the reason that immorality and corruption as a result of avarice exists, and feels an intense personal responsibility to try and purge the world of it by taking as many victims as he can. This is why he strictly forbids the church from worshipping him, or giving him any kind of offerings of cash. Once Terzo understood this, he was more than happy to work with a demon that wanted to tear apart exploitative oligarchies, who also happens to have a good sense of humor. In the AU canon, he opens Mummy Dust by introducing it as a song about "one evil motherfucker" for the purpose of negatively presenting Mammon as the noun, as well as making sure the song was not worshipping the demon in anyway, despite his obvious influence when he wrote it. Terzo is "carried on a wolf's back", alluding to his partnership with Mammon. Beelzebub is one of the most worshipped infernals in the church, second only after Lucifer. He represents hedonism, and the pleasure, benefits, and freedom that gluttony can bring. We all know Secondo loves to party, and that enjoyment of self- indulgence is something he learned as a result of his relationship with Beelzebub. You have to learn to care for yourself and allow yourself enjoyment, even when you feel like you don't deserve it, or life has denied you happiness. Of course, Beelzebub had to teach Secondo the balance of discipline and intemperance, but the demon himself also struggles with this. Along with that, there is a guilt that he carries for living in excess, especially next to his brother who starves himself.

 Beelzebub's alias is Reverend Martin Avarice. Avarice means to have extreme desire for money and material. Mammon's alias is Reverend Erik Lucrum. Lucrum means to profit or benefit. I gave them opposing names on purpose. In the realm of greed, Beelzebub is really the one that profits, where as Mammon is the one desiring those that possess avarice, despite despising it.  Belphagor comes into play in a lot of different ways, often bridging these two together. He works work with Terzo, Secondo, and Copia too. There will be more on him later when I get around to drawing him at some point lol.

[fizzywashere87]

You'll Always Have Me [and ur money] (HC's)

notes: i'm kinda a dumbass. This was originally requested by @snipersiniora and everything after that is a long story. (the original ask got deleted because of my dumbassery) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING!!! <3 btw this isn't proofread <3

M.List

RotTMNT HC's with a sweet!rich!reader gf who lost her family and only has their turtle bf left

rise! Raph-a-doodle

You're a sweetheart, Raph loves you very much

He cherishes everything you give to him

You thought of him and cared enough to use your money on him?

Every time you see him, you can smell his love stink -yeah it's a thing and i made the rules

You give him (and most likely his brothers) allowances and honestly? They help tons

He does his very best to take care of everything you give him big man is clumsy

He appreciates you soooo much, he's smitten

Raph loves going to your place, it's so nice and it's a great break from underground

I imagine he sleeps over a lot

He's so protective of you, making sure nobody hurts you it's New York, being rich is hazardous iykwim

Raph is pretty dense sometimes, he might miss small details

On this topic, he might not notice when you're clingier than usual, but if you seem extra sad he'll pick up on it

Why're you sad?

If you tell him, he'll let you cry on him, and he'll assure you that you'll always have him

If he finds out by himself, he may have wished you told him but we can't change that anymore can we?

You lost your family, he's going to make sure you'll always have him

He sleeps over a lot more now, and has you sleep at the lair some nights

You're never alone unless you want to be

Raph is always there for you and he always will be and your money keeps supplying

rise! Neon-Leon

Spoiling Leo is extra fun ion know why

You get him stupid little gifts or they could be designer clothing

ion know

He's extremely protective of you and insists on walking/portalling you to and from wherever

He loves how sweet you are and he cherishes you

He'll make gold digger jokes which obviously he doesn't mean whatsoever bitch.

He expresses his gratitude for your gifts, allowances, and everything spice and nice :)

When you spoil him, he spoils you in hugs, kisses, and cuddles! :D

He's such a silly bitch boy!

Leo's also one to sleep over at your place a lot preferably sleeping in your bed because he's a little shit

He spends your allowances on stupid shit btw, but he finds them useful "Leo why tf did you buy this?" *a rubber duck that's blue* "It matches my charismatic personality!"

Leo picks up on things fairly quickly so he can figure out pretty quickly if something was ever off one day

On this topic, he notices when you're clingier, and when you seem extra sad

He'll confront you about it but whether you tell him or not is your choice

If you choose to tell him he's going to hold you in his arms and let you cry it out

He is also one to never let you be alone, no matter what he's doing he's going to find a way to keep you by him

He'll make sure you know that you'll always have him and you can always fall on him.

He'll make jokes to try and make you less sad

Anything you need he's got it for you

Will let you talk about your family if that's what you need -he'll nod along and comment when needed to show you he's listening

If he finds out he's also one to wish you would've told him

He's not mad at you but he doesn't want you keeping allat inside

Leo loves you so much and he'll make sure you know that you'll always have him and your money

rise! Othello Von Ryan

okay

You have cash, he does expensive things

Maybe you could ahhh

Help a guy out??

You supply him with expensive parts for his tech

Buy him purple jackets that aren't hijacked please he needs a lil extra help with that btw

Spoil him, buy him certain things he needs for his lab, the equipment has never looked shinier without your help

If you do this, Donatello's forever grateful, he'll probably do a happy dance

He's also very protective of you, though I wouldn't say he's SO protective

He'll make sure you get home safe, and he probably has your location -not to be creepy or anything, he just has it

Likes hanging out with you at your place but I honestly see him as someone wanting to stay at his place

He does appreciate how nice it is though, and how it's a good break from the sewers

He loves your sweetness, though he'll never admit it bad boy persona my left ass cheek

He definitely makes you little trinkets or a piece of tech to make your life easier

It's his way of giving back

Donnie is emotionally constipated but he's observant

He notices when something's wrong even if he doesn't know how to go about it

He'll keep an eye on you, and he might confront you about it

If you choose to tell him, he'll get you everything you need and he'll attempt to comfort you

If you need company? You got it.

He'll give you cuddles too because he doesn't mind touch from you he's probably touchstarved anyways

He'll keep you in his lab so you don't have to be alone

Donnie doesn't really know how to give you verbal reassurance without being awkward but he shows it

If he finds out, he won't be mad at you for not saying anything, and he'll pretty much do anything you want you're his sweet bby

You can sleep easy knowing he's not going anywhere neither is your money pooks

rise! Magic Mike

OMGIE PLEASE SPOIL HIM

Buy him random shit honestly he'll cherish it

God forbid anything happen to anything you've ever bought him "This is a job for Dr. Delicate Touch!" "Mikey no!"

He's big on keeping you safe, but I don't see him as the type to go to EXTREMES unless he feels like he has to for your safety

He is always one call away ofc

Stoppp he always sleeps at your place

He says it's so nice and cozy aww bby <333

Buy him art supplies and he'll draw you :0

Your sweetness makes him extra sweet tbh

Cuddles are all the time because he loves you and your money

When you give him gifts he gives you art and makes you foodddd

You buy random shit that made you think about him

Grocery shopping for him too LMAO

Mikey maybe lack observance but his emotional intelligence is higher than yours I can tell you that with a bucket on my head while shit comes out of the sky

He's going to notice if your rich little self is sadder than sad

Of course he's going to ask about it he wants to know why you're sad!

If you choose to tell him, he'll listen to every word you say

As distracted as he gets Mikey's an active listener when it comes to you

His heart breaks for you and he wants to take you everywhere now

He's going to let you cry on him, cuddle, and even sleep gah dam

Yeah, he gives you reassurance

He's not going anywhere and he's going to make sure you know

You're not allowed to be alone anymore if he can help it

He loves you soooo much!!

If he finds out himself, he's going to talk to you about why you should have maybe said something

It's fine if you didn't want to though but he'd rather you communicate your feelings

Mikey's probably the best at comfort out of all of them he's a little shit with therapists as alter egos tf?

They're all cuties but i think he might be the cutest in this situation

You both are lil cinnamon rolls, so cute <3 I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!

[gabessquishytum]

Hob doesn't really like working bachelor parties. His experiences aren't nearly as bad as his female stripper friends, but tips can some times be spotty and depending on the crowd, he might get more hassled than likes on a job.

When he gets a bachelor party gig at the most high end hotel in town, he's not holding out much hope - tips might be good, but rich guys tend to be dicks to/with male strippers. So Hob was prepared for anything when he walked into that Presidential Suite, or so he thought. He was NOT prepared for the hottest guy he had ever seen to be scowling through his first lap dance.

Hob has been a stripper for long enough that he makes it a practice to no longer f*uck "clients". Too many people have aggressive buyers remorse and Hob doesn't have time for the drama anymore - he's looking to get out of the game and is saving up the last bit of money to get his food truck.

Maybe he spends the night, dancing and giving the eye to that pretty boy who getting married in a few days; maybe he clocks pretty boy's reciprocal interest and slips his number in a pocket (down pretty boy's pants during a second raunchier dance); maybe Hob makes plans to head back over the next day. Maybe he'll even get a name. 😉

Woohoo yes!! Love me some stripper Hob action.

Dream is so mad because his terrible, terrible friends have not only forced him to have a bachelor party, but have also hired a stripper. It's literally the last thing Dream wants, it's not like the marriage is something to celebrate. He doesn't love Alex or even respect him. But Cori and Matthew force him to stay for the "party" (its only them, Dream, Dream’s big sister and little brother, and Jo Constantine who literally only came for the booze). And the stripper is, at least, cute.

He does some dances for the party guests first, forcing Dream to wait and pretend that he's not interested anyway. The stripper is way more Dream’s type than Alex, and Dream can't help watching as he laughs and circles his hips over Cori's lap. Finally he sashays over to where Dream is sitting. He's down to a pair of tight red booty shorts and a matching crop top which show alluring curls of chest hair.

The dance for Dream is much more sophisticated than what he did for the other guests. He's not messing around or teasing. Each movement is sensual, and when he finally crawls into Dream’s lap and peels off his crop top, his eyes are blazing with heat. Dream hears himself whimper, which draws a smirk to the stripper's pretty scarlet lips.

"You can touch my arse." He purrs into Dream’s ear. "If you promise to be a good boy." And Dream can't resist. He cups his palms over the perky cheeks and endures the wolf whistles from the other guests - only the fact that his siblings are in the room stops him from literally coming when the stripper's confident hand squeezes and fondles the bulge in his trousers.

Eventually the time is up and Hob - that's his name, and now Dream will never forget it, cheerily packs up his things.

"You'll find my card tucked into your fly." He murmurs to Dream, as he hands over a huge wad of cash tips. "If you require my services to celebrate your divorce. Or if you want to see what's under the shorts." And he winks.

Dream should obviously steer clear of him. But he's definitely not going to.

[mmmmmmmmmmmmsoup]

Yandere x Gardener reader 2.0

(This post is like another root from the story tree. But instead of talking about David, we talk about a new customer of yours, Cash)

Warning: Yandere, stalking, nsfw?

• so now that you were working at more locations, and keeping your distance from David, you found yourself on a ranch

• Not your ranch of course, but a costumers

• a man named cash wanted some help tending to his mothers garden

• his mother was growing to that age where things didn’t come easy, and not that he couldn’t take care of the garden himself, he just didn’t have the time

• he had cows, chickens, and crops to take care of. But he still wanted to make his mama happy

• that’s where you come in. A few times a week you would come by, weeding, dead heading, and watering the flowers

• Cash and his mother also had a green house full of veggies and some other edible things, you took care of that too

• now the first time you met Cash, he was quiet  and you had no idea if even liked you

• but that didn’t matter, he hired you to work, and work you did! Plus, the view you got to see while working was beautiful, just a valley of rolling hills

• and Cashes view of you was… well, let’s say he had a hard time looking away

• at first Cash didn’t really pay much time to you, you had a job to do and so did he. and as long as you did your job well, there wouldn’t be an issue

• he was also a little embarrassed to having to hire you, he wished he could just take care of the garden himself but alas, there just weren’t enough hours in the day

• he liked that you had manners. He had told you if you harvested any fruits or veggies to just bring them inside and put them on the kitchen counter

• and every time you did, you’d knock, make sure him and or his mama was aware of your present and quietly walk to the kitchen

• sometimes you even asked his mama if she needed anything like a snack or a glass of water, he thought that was sweet

• sometimes you’d leave a small bouquet of flowers freshly plucked from the garden and place it in the living room for him and his mama to see

• he thought you were a sweet girl, he didn’t dig much further then that, he didn’t want to

• but one day, when Cash was heading to the house for lunch, he saw you.

• you were ripping a small old stump out of the ground, and Cash just couldn’t look away

• you were wearing a tank top, sweating, covered in dirt, and your muscles flexing

(even if you don’t think your that muscly irl, trust me, if you ever do get gardening as a job, you will develop muscle)

• oh lord, this man just turned into a blushing mess

• ever since that day, he started paying attention to you more

• you see, Cash always came home for lunch, and the window above the sink, where he washed dishes was in perfect view of the garden

• also in perfect view was your ass when you bent over to pluck a flower or whatever else you were doing

• he started washing dishes by hand a lot more

• anytime you suggest something for the garden, that be a certain tool, plant, or pest control, you’d find it either in the shed during your next visit or he would straight up give you money to go buy it

• and he would totally give you too much money too. If you ever try to give him his change back, he would refuse and just say it’s your tip

• one day you had told him how people’s gardens were being ruined during the nights and within three days, he had updated his whole security system (by the way, this man is like rich, so he already had gates and a pretty good security system)

• he even set up some cameras facing the garden, only for security reason of course… no other reason

• he just likes you ok, and has no idea how to show it

• not only were you sweet, a hard worker, and hot as fuck, but his mama loved you

• “that gardener is such a lovely lady, and does such a nice job on my garden!”

• mama would 100% bake cookies for you and put them in a container for you to take home

• Cash thought highly of what his mother thought, and if she liked you, I mean????

• If his garden produced to many of a certain vegetable, he would just give you the extra (saving on that grocery bill gorl)

• one day when cash had a little bit more free time, he chose to have a picnic with his mama, he was thinking about asking you to join, but his mama beat him to it

• “hello y/n, me and my son are having a picnic, you should join us”

• you looked behind her to see Cash, looking slightly bashful and quick to look away when he noticed you staring

• “sure, I’d love too!”

• Cash laid down a blanket, and sat between you and his mama

• you ate some sandwiches with some home grown veggies on the side, and of course cookies made by mama her self

• you all had a nice chat, mainly mama asking about you

• cash learned how you liked to dabble in art, drawing, painting, photography, you name it you’ve probably tried it

• and just other little things like family, where your from, if you go to school or not, stuff like that

• like dam, you just keep getting better and better

• the more he learned about you, the more he liked you

• he was also thankful his mama was the one handling the conversation part, he was never great at socializing

• he also had a hard time focusing on what was being said when his eyes kept wondering to your soft lips

• fuck, he’s blushing so hard

• ever since that picnic happened, mama totally knows what’s up ;)

• she thinks it’s cute that her son FINALLY has a crush, maybe she will actually get some more grandkids!

• so every now and then she ask you to help cash with something or maybe the other way around, just so you spend more time together

• cash gets so embarrassed every time

This post is getting too long! How did I do? Any tips, tricks? Let me know!

Also what do you think about David and cash?

Whenever I’m talking about cash, I’ll probably always post it as a 0.2 chapter, like I did here

[faytelumos]

Bestie when you have the energy, we need to discuss established bruharvey where Bruce, even if he's like the richest mf in the world, is widely known to be two-face's sugar baby

The funny thing is, they're still enemies in the field? But at home? Bruce tends to Harvey's mild wounds and listens to his complaining abt batman like. Yes honey he is a menace and yes I do know you could've taken him and no I won't leave you for him i promise

And as Batman AND bruce, our boy has to save his ass everytime. Imagine kidnapping Harvey and his kept man husband wipes the floor with you bc you interrupted family night sjsjsjs

Okay, okay, okay, so several thoughts:

Two-Face is a crime lord, and Harvey is smart as hell. Together, they'll make a formidable empire within and outside of Gotham.

With all of the different types of cash flow Two-Face has set up and the grade-A hierarchy he undoubtedly set up to keep things running in his absence, Two-Face is going to be very rich. More than rich enough to have a sugar baby pre-loaded with SpoiledRotten.exe

Is it icky for Bruce to accept gifts from blood money? Probably. Does he love Harvey and ache for the feeling of being taken care of to contrast the constant and obsessive impulse to be in control of a situation?

Yes.

I think you're absolutely right and Bruce and Harvey knows each other much, much better than they know a lot of other people. There's a level of intimacy in their kind of long-lasting relationship (regardless of the nature of that relationship at any given time) that is simply so rare. They're entangled, and it reaches so far back for both of them.

[Idea: Bruce and Harvey are reincarnated together again and again.]

I'm a firm believer that Bruce is a sub because he is constantly holding onto absolutely every string and situation he can find and it is exhausting to live like that. In his best and most relaxed frame of mind he wants someone to take care of him, and I think Two-Face specifically would jump at the chance.

Maybe this is just me projecting or whatever, but I think Two-Face is confused by the way of the world. No situation is ever certain, you can never be sure of an outcome given all of the wild variables of life, and it's scary. He wants things to get done, he needs things to happen, and even when you're following the systems and the rules and the paths that shit is supposed to get better through, nothing! Works! Out!

But Bruce…. Bruce is constant. Bruce is there always, in one way or another. Even when he's so mad, even when Two-Face has fucked up royally, Bruce is still there. And Two-Face isn't sure of a whole lot, but he sure that he wants Bruce to be good and safe.

Two-Face would love to take care of Bruce because even if he messes up (which he won't because Bruce is precious and he's going to take good care of him), Bruce will always give him another chance. Two-Face is just trying to do the best he can and Bruce always knows that and Two-Face wants to pay him back for that faith, for that loyalty, for keeping him sane in this disgusting mess of a world.

So Bruce the Sugar Baby is something that both of them would gravitate towards.

Two-Face and Bruce is borderline domestic; Two-Face is sharp lines and rough edges and hands that hold too hard, but he wants to be soft for Bruce. And it works because Bruce doesn't always know what soft is, and Two-Face is so deliberate and mindful that it feels the same.

But it can be very different when Two-Face and Batman are in the room together.

Batman doesn't want to be taken care of and he can't give up control of a situation. It may seem petty, but Two-Face hates dealing with Bruce with that stupid cowl on his face because he is just the worst.

I don't think Two-Face and Batman get along nearly as well because they're both in their dominant head-spaces. Two-Face is trying to control the situation to protect Harvey, and Batman is trying to control the situation to protect Gotham, and because of the difference of scope of these goals, they butt heads.

However!

When people Bruce loves are in trouble, he goes a little feral. Gotham fades in the background, and he'll do whatever it takes to get his people out.

And Two-Face, I can imagine, is a little tickled by this.

Like, no, he doesn't need Bats' help, thank you very much. He doesn't need to be rescued, he's perfectly capable, he could have gotten out of it himself. But damn does he look good clearing the room. He'll let himself get snatched up (as long as there's no real danger to Harv) to get a nice view of that action.

Yes, Bats, he could have gotten out of those binds at any time. No, he will not be repeating this position later in the privacy of their own home.

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