#this is supposed to be an affordable public school… seriously y’all?

[funkyyychicken5000]

Help— I just spent the last hour scrounging through my shelves/dressers and bags, and found thirty dollars! I cannot pay for more food for this week, but I can pay for my insanely overpriced uniform for public school. What a wonderful economy. 😭

[pandemicthestory]

5: distanced

The next step is to find an in, and then an out. 

The morning news briefing on TV:

Kelly Sanchez, lead anchorwoman, stares gravely into the camera. It will be another day of news that no one wants to hear. 

“Good morning, Chicago. We’re here with your daily update of the coronavirus. Schools across the country have been canceled due to a significant shortage of public funding. These are funds that are currently being allocated to bail out the tanking airline industry. The President says that allowing the top corporations to suffer will result in a greater hole for the economy. We hope he’s right.

Meanwhile, bars, restaurants and shopping centers that have been re-opened early to boost the economy have not seen the dramatic rise in business that was expected. Perhaps people are too afraid to go out to dinner amongst the public, or perhaps they simply can’t afford it due to a loss of work. One thing we do know is that the most detrimental effect of these early openings is causing a further spread. As people in certain states that have not seriously social-distanced begin to cross state lines…”

Emma’s mom and dad are sitting on the couch, waiting for Kelly to tell them that things are going to get at least slightly better. But she doesn’t. It’s getting impossible to convince themselves that this will all be over soon--that everything will return to normal. It’s becoming likely that the new “normal,” if it ever comes, will be something that no one has ever seen. 

*buzzzz*

Emma’s alarm wakes her up at 8:30 AM. She facepalms herself upon remembering that school doesn’t exist anymore and therefore alarms are canceled. Dammit. 

But then, she remembers that Universe is currently downloading to her external hard drive. The excitement of this sends a shock through her system and wakes up every cell in her body. It’s that “Christmas morning” excitement, which is marginally more enjoyable than that “about to run away with a possibly bad dude” excitement. That kind is good too, just, different. She runs over to her computer. 

16 HOURS REMAINING

Shit. The size of this application is no joke. Seemingly she’ll have to wait until tonight to begin her exploration. To find Mason. 

Emma remembers the talk they had last night, and reflects on his support of her relationships with her friends. She realizes that she didn’t know many people with that quality, guys especially...it seems like they always demand her full attention and become frustrated if asked to share. Especially one guy. Well anyway, Mason. Intriguing.

Emma heads downstairs to make herself a bowl of cereal. Oh wait, there’s no milk. And no cereal either? These days, groceries are scarce and pickings are slim. Ah well, might have to be plain oatmeal. Serious orphanage vibes--which is somewhat fitting since her parents wish they could leave her at one. 

Ugh. Every time you eat oatmeal, you forget how horrible oatmeal is. Isabel sits across the table from her, scrolling through her phone with intent and drinking black coffee. Emma smirks. 

“Aren’t you kinda young to be drinking coffee? Plus what do you have to energize for, your job at the office?”

Isabel pays no attention to her. 

“Hello? Okay what is up with you.”

Isabel looks up from her phone, a faraway look in her eyes. 

“Do you have a headset?” she asks. 

“Um, what do you mean? Like headphones? What are you talking about?”

Isabel looks down again. 

“No, like a viewing headset. Like an Oculus or a Vive. Aren’t you like, a tech nerd? You don’t do anything with VR?”

Odd request. Emma isn’t much of a gamer anymore, she used to play Dota and Warcraft, but that was before she decided to cut back to become more social. Spend time with her friends. Date an asshole. Whatever. But in all her experience with gaming, she had never gotten into VR. She never saw the point...either play games or experience the real world. What was the point in trying to achieve both at the same time?

“No I don’t. And you know those are expensive as hell, right?” 

Isabel looks nervous. 

“I know. Which is why...um, I was wondering, can I borrow some money?” 

Emma bursts out laughing. 

“No Iz, you can’t borrow 800 dollars to buy a VR headset. Hey are you aware that we’re going through a global pandemic and the world may or may not be ending? I think food and toilet paper are better investments than virtual tennis, or whatever.” 

Isabel just shakes her head. What is with this girl? She’s normally the queen of smartassery--loves to spar with Emma and argue about literally everything. She’s usually so ready for a fight, but now she feels surrendered. It’s weird how you can be trapped in such close quarters with a person and still feel like they’re on a different planet. 

Emma and Isabel are two years apart. Up until Emma was 6 and Isabel was 4, they were best friends. They shared everything. Isabel didn’t want to play with a toy unless Emma played with it with her. She wouldn’t wear clothing unless it was Emma’s hand-me-down. They shared a bedroom, the walls covered with monarch butterflies. Their mom went for a theme, tacky lamp shades and all, lord knows she tried her best. Often, they would stay awake late into the night, vividly describing the dream that the other sister would have. They thought if they focused hard enough, they could carry those dreams with them into sleep. 

But as they got older, things changed. The tacky butterflies were no longer endearing. Emma moved into a room that was being used as her dad’s office. She got a Nintendo DS for Christmas. And she started locking her door. 

Isabel was left to wonder where her role model went. But after Emma made it clear that her hobbies were no longer to be shared, Isabel hardened herself to the rejection. She promised herself to become her own person in any way that she could, to never be dependent on Emma to define her personality. 

In fifth grade, Isabel met Anush. They met because they were both teacher helpers in art class, and it was their responsibility to help set up the room before class and clean it up afterwards. They were both very outgoing, emotional, and honest. Isabel always told Anush exactly what she was thinking, and vice versa. The two girls were popular among their classmates, but the good kind of popular. They were kind, and they included the other girls who wanted to be like them.

So really, it makes no sense that Isabel is being the way that she is. She’s confident, vocal, and annoyingly optimistic. On a normal day. So what’s wrong?

“Emma, someone just dropped a package off for you.” 

Their mom called from the other room. Isabel leaves the table, stressed and defeated. Emma continues to chip away at the bowl of grey sludge in front of her. It’s crazy that there are still people out there delivering the mail--how long until that stops too? 

*buzz* 

Good morning, group chat. 

OLIVIA: GG morning check-in: I want to talk about what the hell Serena sees in Dan 

MADISON: or what dan sees in serena?? Come on he’s like an intellectual and she’s a superficial barbie princess 

ZOE: Mad you know that is MISOGYNISTIC and that you’re letting the fact that she wears expensive dresses and has blonde hair cloud your judgement!! 

MADISON: oh shut up it’s early 

OLIVIA: Remember when you were begging not to watch the show??

MADISON: quarantine does weird shit to people ok

Emma enters the chat. 

EMMA: Ok but without Serena, don’t you think Blair is so much more lame? Like it’s the best friend combo that makes the show imo

ZOE: There she is!!!

MADISON: goooood morning to our very own barbie princess! 

OLIVIA: Why are any of us even awake? SCHOOL’S OVERRR. Should we like, do something?

EMMA: Like what? Sit on our asses and text each other from afar?

MADISON: sounds chill 

Emma laughs to herself. Damn. She’s going to miss them. 

Maybe there’s a way for her to tell...part of the truth? Leave the part about Julian out? Kind of a big part... Say she’s coming back? Make up a concrete opportunity? There has to be some sort of acceptable explanation...there just has to be. And even if she can’t come up with one...there are other things she wants to tell them about. Another boy. 

EMMA: Hey do you guys wanna do a zoom chat in a few min? Just kinda feel like talking more than texting rn 

MADISON: do u mind if i go back to bed and pass on that? I love u girl but i’m tired af  

ZOE: aaand same here, but it’s only because i’m supposed to do this thing…

OLIVIA: so call Gabriel?

ZOE: Wellllll...I don’t wanna lie to y’all.

Ha. Emma knows the feeling. 

EMMA: you out too Liv?

OLIVIA: I am innnnn give me a call when you’re ready 

MADISON: kiss kiss kiss

ZOE: kiiiiissssss

EMMA: bye losers 

Well, maybe telling one person is a good place to start. Liv is super understanding...she’ll be able to think of a good way to break the news to Mad and Zoe. Emma runs up to her room and closes the door. She flops down on her unmade bed, and facetimes Olivia. 

“Hey Liv”

“Emmmm”

Lingering silence. Emma just kind of stares at the wall. Olivia breaks the silence.

“Sooo what did you wanna talk about?”

Emma doesn’t know if she can do it. Ok, form words. Try. 

“I wanna tell you something, that’s kind of a long story. And it’s connected to other stories. And basically I’ve just gone too long without talking about any of it and now there’s like this big clusterfuck of details that I need you to know but can’t figure out where to start.” 

Whew. Even the vaguest of outbursts feels cathartic. Olivia doesn’t seem to be freaked out yet.

“Emma, I’m pretty sure I know you better than anyone. And you can trust me.” 

“I know you say that now but...I don’t know if, after I say what I, well I don’t know if you’re gonna trust me. I haven’t said everything that I need to say to you. Or Zo and Mad.” 

“Ok, so, here’s your chance. I’m listening.” 

Emma takes a deep breath. Where to start?

*knock knock* 

The knocks are soft. Unlike her mom’s, whose are very prison guard-esque, and actually who is more likely to not knock at all. Emma calls out. 

“What.” 

Isabel’s voice comes from the other side of the door.

“I gotta tell you something.” Her voice is uncharacteristically soft.

“I’m on the phone with Liv right now, can it wait?”

Silence. 

“Iz?”

Emma hears the creaking of Isabel’s footsteps down the wooden hallway, and then her beddoor shutting. Click, it locks. 

Emma turns back to the phone. 

“That was Iz, she’s been acting like a freak.” 

“What’s going on with her?”

“No idea. I feel like 14 is a weird age, plus like, she’s REALLY social and into school and shit. This quarantine is probably forcing an inversion of her personality.”

Olivia nods with sympathy. “God, that’s rough.” 

“Yeah...I feel kinda bad I guess. We just don’t really have anything to talk about.” 

“Oh come on, you’re sisters. Talk about how controlling your mom is.” 

Emma laughs. She flips onto her back and stretches her legs against the wall. Oh, physical exertion of any kind feels so unnatural. 

“Well Liv...we do have one thing in common. Which is...one of the things I haven’t told you.” 

Emma fights a smile. 

“TELL ME”

“So I saw Isabel playing this weird computer game, I mean I don’t even know if it was a game or like what the hell it was, but now, I’m downloading it…”

“Uh, ok?? Why?”

“This is going to sound insane, but hear me out…”

“Hearing…”

“I got this...message...online. From someone who I’ve never met. A guy, I think, and his name is Mason.”

“OOOMG” 

“Hahah well it’s not like that, I mean I have no fucking idea WHAT it’s like, because it’s very weird, and um, he’s the reason I’m downloading this game. The one that Iz is playing. Cuz he told me to.”

Silence. 

“That...is really fucking weird.” 

“I know.” 

“You don’t even know how badly I wish I was coming over right now to go all detective on his ass right now with you…”

Emma laughs. “I know you would be. It’s so weird being here alone.”

“You’re not alone Em!!! I’m here. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but I’ll ALWAYS be here for you. That’s corny as hell but hey it’s true.” 

“Hah, yeah...same. I’m here.” 

How can Emma keep this incredibly annoying feeling of guilt suppressed? It’s kind of ruining the buzz of anything else. But it will be ok. Olivia will understand... 

*ping*

Emma has come to expect that any message received to her ghostwriter account will be from Mason. She jumps up from her bed, still on the call with Olivia. Emma starts to get excited. 

“So this is crazy but he just messaged me, ahhhhhh…”

“Eeee tell me what he said!!”

Sure enough, the message is from Mason.

MASON: hi! did you get it yet?

Emma reads the message aloud to Olivia, who is equally confused.

“What is he talking about?

“I have no idea…”

Emma starts typing a response. 

EMMA: Good morning! Get what..?

MASON: a package!

Emma looks confused. Was it...Mason who sent the package? What the hell? How does he know where she lives?? Well at this point she’s not surprised. 

“Liv, I gotta call you back!” 

“Ok you BETTER tell me what the hell this package situation is because congratulations this is now the most interesting thing happening in my life!!!” 

Emma ends the call and runs downstairs. Her parents haven’t moved from the couch, still watching coverage of the virus’s destruction on TV.

“Hey Mom where’s that package??”

“Iz said she’d bring it up to you.”

“What? Can you not give her my mail?”

Emma’s mom turns to face her. “Attitude. Chill.” 

Emma rolls her eyes and runs upstairs. She knocks on Isabel’s door. Well, bangs, really. 

“Hi ready to talk now. What’s up??” 

No response. As Emma presses her ear against the door, she can’t hear anything. She jiggles the handle, it won’t open. 

“This is really weird. Hello.”

“Hellooooo.”

“Fine, we don’t have to talk. But I need my package. Now.” 

……

Emma grabs the little key from behind the thermostat in the hallway. Isabel will just have to forgive her for this. Emma inserts the key into the lock and…

The lock clicks, the handle turns, and the door opens. 

Emma enters the room, ready for Isabel to yell at her. 

“Iz??”

First Emma sees the packaging. The medium-sized cardboard box on the ground, the bubble wrap, the plastic…it had clearly been torn off in a hurry...

Isabel is sitting at her computer, her back turned toward Emma.

“Isabel?!”

Emma runs over and jerks the swivel chair to face her, and Isabel slouches over. She’s wearing a virtual reality headset. 

The one that was sent to Emma in that package.

“ISABEL”

Isabel’s ears are covered with oversized headphones, but even without them, she wouldn’t be able to hear Emma anyway. Her body is limp. Non-responsive. 

Emma starts panicking and checks Isabel’s pulse--steady. Her breathing, normal. What is happening here? What is going on??

Then Emma sees the computer screen. 

The map. That fucking map. 

She turns back to Isabel. She thinks of Mason. She realizes.

The right question is not “What”, but “Where.”