#does europe/america smell like smoke a lot?

[andthebubbles]

tfw your home wifi is slower than your phone internet by 150mb/s AND constantly dropping, or dropping to less than 5mb/s, while your phone internet doesn't drop at all

[seriousbrat]

What are your favourite telltale signs that a fanfic was written by an american?

Some that always sticks out to me:

- Characters drinking lots of coffee

- Tea with cream instead of milk (it’s not unheard of, but it’s not your standard cup of tea)

- People mentioning hospital bills

- Being unable to write smokers casually

- Sirius is salivating for a Harley Davidson and not a Triumph

Okay honestly the tea thing in general is a BIG one. I think people don't always understand the way tea is consumed in the UK, how ingrained it is in daily life. Ive basically got a rotating cup of tea all day. Growing up in my house, even when we lived in america, someone would offer to make tea basically hourly lol. There's different situations when tea is offered in slightly different ways, different ways of making tea like builder's tea, different things that are served with tea, tea meaning 'dinner' in some regions, and these customs are hard to understand unless you've lived them.

Often Remus is portrayed as a tea fanatic because he offers tea when Harry visits him, which is always funny to me because that's just the normal thing to do when someone's visiting.

Another tea-related one I encountered once (this made me laugh a LOT and I felt a bit bad for the author) was that Lily 'woke up to the smell of tea.' This is an instance I think using coffee would have been alright lol, they obviously just replaced 'coffee' with 'tea', not realising tea doesn't really smell much when you make it and definitely doesn't waft about the house like coffee does. James would have to be holding the cup under her nose or brewing several large vats of the stuff in the same room lol

I agree with the ones you've said. In what was once the most popular jily fic in the fandom, there's a whole thing with Lily somewhat righteously trying to get James to quit smoking when, in the 70s, everyone and your nan smoked, even indoors, and Lily herself probably would have too. In a lot of Europe young people from all walks of life will casually smoke. rah where's my baccy etc

Similar to the Harley thing, there's often a lot of American music/TV/food/pop culture used. Or anachronistic stereotypically British things like everyone being into the Beatles.

THE NAMES. Characters having surnames that are very much from America's immigrant heritage, polish or german etc, like 'Schneider' and 'Kowalski' and things. First names too, this is a bit less dire but a lot of names common in the US wouldn't have been given to a child in the 60s. Specifically aristocratic characters would have a particular set of names, although pureblood conventions are obv a bit different than irl.

Another one is general drinking culture. Like I mentioned the idea of, honestly, anyone who isn't an obvious child being asked for ID in a pub is very silly haha, unless maybe in a student area. Whereas in America they'll ask everyone for ID before they let them sit down. (even my 60yr old dad has been asked lol)

in my experience Americans have a strange relationship with alcohol in general, which is both slightly puritan and enthusiastic. My theory is that this is because of prohibition (I find this very historically interesting) and they aren't as prone to casual daily drinking as Europeans, rather they tend to go all out on specific occasions. I love an American house party haha, but I don't think Americans would go for work drinks at the pub as often.

Exaggerated distances between places. Working class families having multiple cars and big houses and driving everywhere even within London. Aristocratic characters doing things they'd never do and having things they'd never have. The Blacks are often portrayed as too fantabulously wealthy imo in a very Rockerfeller New England-y way. Also they wouldn't speak French to each other lol

In general class distinctions, which are very important in the UK, are difficult to understand from an outside perspective I think.

However, I think the main tell for me is usually dialogue, SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG:

This issue, tbf, is very understandable. It's very difficult to achieve natural-sounding dialogue for dialects that you're not personally familiar with. Tbh I think it's not always easy to achieve natural-sounding dialogue in general for anyone. I've lived in America too and now have lived in a non-english speaking country for many years, mostly speaking catalan/spanish on a daily basis, so I get confused too and I use american phrases picked up either during my time there or from the internet. Anyway point is I think about/notice dialogue a lot, so here are my thoughts.

There's often overuse/misuse of slang or certain terms that can end up being amusing, like that fan film using 'a row' constantly to describe a bitter fight to the death between sworn enemies haha. Over/misuse of things like 'bloody,' 'wanker,' 'twat' lol. Understanding what types of characters would say what, and in what situations, can be tricky. 'Pants' is a common mistake because in BrE it means underpants, not trousers. 'Restroom' is also very American. 'College' meaning 'university' ditto. 'Pissed' for angry rather than 'drunk,' 'mad' also to a lesser extent-- I'd normally understand 'are you mad' as 'are you crazy.'

I saw a tumblr post once, one I thought would be a bit mean to reply to directly, in which a character jokes to Sirius about 'doing fags' because he smokes cigarettes and is in a relationship with Remus. lmao. That's a good example of someone trying to use a slang term without understanding the way it's really used. Also a good example of someone gratuitously using a slur (which is more common in America anyway) for no reason lol oh well

In general, I think since Americans are used to hollywood portrayals of British characters who mostly use something akin to RP, even authors who are diligent about BrE can end up sounding a bit stilted and a bit pride and prejudice-y with their teen characters (except with 'bloody wanker!' sprinkled in occasionally.) And this is fine, I don't think it's fair to expect perfectly natural/accurate dialogue from fanfic authors all the time, wherever they're from. But a line like "Yes, it must have been nice" might sound more natural as "Yeah, must've been nice," though it depends on the character obv.

Personally I think I overuse contractions because I find them fun (I love a cheeky 'oughtn't' or a 'mightn't.' or 'shouldn't've' lol. tbh im always saying 'ought' and 'ought not' irl but that's just me being weird.) But contractions and dropping certain words is common in informal BrE, what's tricky is that if this is misused it also sounds odd. So it's a difficult balance to get right. For instance: 'it would be nice if they had' can become 'be nice if they had' but not 'be nice if they.' or 'be nice if they'd.' This was a professionally made video game rip but there's a character in Mass Effect who talks like that, it drove me mad.

I love to think about accents and dialects and dialogue in general (which is why this got so long sorry) and imo the key is just familiarising yourself with a dialect as much as possible and making sure you hear the accent in your head as you write. Using slang terms in ways you've heard them used before, and carefully. For younger characters you'll want to watch something like the inbetweeners rather than bridgerton haha. Or something like Would I Lie To You or Taskmaster where there's a variety of panelists and therefore of accents, both series are free on youtube and are excellent!

[usernoneexistent]

Zola Serena Albatross

Life hasn't been easy for Zola Albatross, her mother unknown and her father and brother (later turned out to be grandfather and father respectively) are locked in Azkaban infamous for the Albatross burglary, leaving her with her aunt who gives her just enough material provisions but neglects her emotional needs. Her only escape from her home life was reading the haroing adventures of cursebreakers in the newspapers, one in particular of Juniper Moss. She became Zola's idol which made Zola determined to become a cool and independent curse breaker herself.

PROFILE

Nicknames: Zozo by Tarragon and Flynn.

Born: 23rd April 2000.

Hometown: Lambeth, South East London, England.

Nationality/Ethnicity: Black British.

Language(s) spoken: English (British).

Accent: East London.

Blood status: Halfblood.

Gender identity: Witch (she/her)

Sexuality: Heterosexual.

Face Claim: Willow Smith.

PERSONAL

Myers-Briggs Type: ENTP-A (The Debater).

Alignment: chaotic neutral.

Strengths: charismatic, energetic, flirty, confident, original.

Weaknesses: argumentative, quick-tempered, stubborn, procrastinator.

Interests/hobbies: quidditch, adventures, researching ancient runes, parties, playing the guitar, singing, having flings.

Favourite colour: dark green.

Favourite food: burger.

Favourite drink: cola/cider.

APPEARANCE

Height: 1.65cm/ft as an adult.

Weight: 52kg as an adult.

Hair: afro texture hair, naturally black but changes it regularly depending on her mood. She mainly keeps her hair in either dreadlocks or braids but more likely dreads.

Eyes: hazel.

Skin: medium warm brown.

Defects: none.

Style: Zola's style is definitely edgy with an artistic flair. Zola loves to self express with makeup, hair and fashion. She doesn't go by the trends, preferring to choose what she likes.

WITCHCRAFT

Wand: Blackthorn and Dragon heartstring core.

(Blackthorn, which is a very unusual wand wood, has the reputation, in my view well-merited, of being best suited to a warrior. This does not necessarily mean that its owner practises the Dark Arts (although it is undeniable that those who do so will enjoy the blackthorn wand's prodigious power); one finds blackthorn wands among the Aurors as well as among the denizens of Azkaban. It is a curious feature of the blackthorn bush, which sports wicked thorns, that it produces its sweetest berries after the hardest frosts, and the wands made from this wood appear to need to pass through danger or hardship with their owners to become truly bonded. Given this condition, the blackthorn wand will become as loyal and faithful a servant as one could wish.)

Animagus Form: snake.

Patronus: snake.

Patronus memory: meeting Tarragon and befriending her.

Boggart: dementors.

Riddikulus: turning them into a puff of smoke.

Amortentia (what does she smell?): it changes all the time.

Amortentia (what does she smell like?): Musky, jasmine and sandalwood.

Magical abilities: none.

AT HOGWARTS

Hogwarts House: Slytherin.

Best subject(s): Ancient runes, D.A.D.A, Flying.

Worst subject(s): Astronomy, Divinations.

Third-year options: Ancient runes, Divinations, and Arithmancy.

N.E.W.T.s: Ancient runes, Arithmancy, Charms, D.A.D.A., Potions.

Quidditch position: chaser (from year 2 to year 7)

Extracurricular: dueling club.

AFTER HOGWARTS

July 2018 - April 2024: Assistant Cursebreaker to Juniper Moss in Eastern Europe.

May 2024-?: Freelance Curse breaker mainly focusing in the Americas and Africa.

RELATIONSHIPS

Family:

Magnus Albatross (Father/grandfather) - Zola was raised by her wizard grandpa whom she believed to be her father for a long time. Magnus was incredibly strict on Zola and would slap or punish her if she ever did anything wrong. She was aware of her grandpa's criminal activities and that he would regularly travel up to a pub in Scotland called the Naughty Cliffs, that turns a blind eye to shady business dealings, smuggling and black market deals to occur.

Jeremiah Albatross (Brother/father) - Her brother treated Zola a lot kinder but only showed that kindness out of the ear short of Magnus. He tried his best to spoil Zola and look after her. Zola always believed that Jeremiah was probably her half-brother and her mum was some woman that Magnus screwed. However, the truth is that Jeremiah actually was Zola's father at 16 and dropped out of Hogwarts at the end of 5th year to raise Zola. His father convinced him to lie to Zola about their actual blood relationship to draw less attention. Jeremiah still to this day refuses to talk who Zola's mother is. There's speculation that Jeremiah slept with a witch from an affluent family that don't want their name tarnished so they made an agreement with the Albatross family. 

Gracie-Mae Pearce nee Albatross & Andrew Pearce (Aunt/great aunt & Uncle) - Gracie-Mae, a squib along with her muggle husband Andrew Pearce weren't too happy when her brother, Magnus and nephew, Jeremiah were sent to prison, leaving them with seven year old Zola. They fed and clothed the girl and gave her comfortable enough bed to sleep in but neglected the girl for everything else. They let Zola stay out late and cause trouble in the muggle neighbourhood and at her muggle primary school. They were very happy that Zola was accepted to Hogwarts because it meant that they didn't have to deal with her for the majority of the year. 

Juniper Moss & Charlie Weasley (unofficial adopted parents) - Zola ran away from home and found herself at the Moss household. Juniper feeling both sorry and instant connection to the girl made her always welcome to their home. Charlie and Juniper wrote to her aunt for permission for Zola to stay with them and her aunt was happy to do so.

Friends:

Tarragon Weasley-Moss - When Zola found out that her idol's daughter was in her year, she was over the moon and quickly sought Tarra to be her friend. She was very surprised by how much Tarra was not like Juniper but still they became friends and loved the stability that Tarra provided for her.

Duncan Ludwig - Both meet through Tarragon and they both enjoy causing some mischief through pranks.

Rylie Hopper-Lee @thatravenpuffwitch - Zola and Rylie share a love for ancient runes and interests in becoming a cursebreaker after Hogwarts.

Ryan Oakley @hogwartsmysteryho - Zola appreciates Ryan's love of research as she too like researching but for cursebreaking adventures.

Love interests: Zola has had many relationships, both in the wizarding world and muggle world. She is happy for anymore romantic encounters. 

Flynn Nowak - Zola thought Flynn was cute and they had a brief relationship in the Spring of their 4th/5th year. Zola was the one to end their relationship. Later in her 6th Year, they had a brief fling which Zola did start to genuinely think they could be something but Flynn graduated. Later on they ran into each other again and again so there mist be something, right?

Muggle boy - A muggle boy in Zola's neighbour showed interest in her and Zola, feeling lonely at the time enjoyed a brief summer fling before her starting 3rd Year at Hogwarts.

Samuel Murad @hogwartsmysteryho - Zola showed interest in her fellow Slytherin and asked him out so they dated briefly in the start of Zola's 4th year. She didn't judge Sam when she found out about Aiden and was very supportive actually they did break up and stayed friends.

Rory McTavish @the-al-chemist​ - Zola knew before entering that this would be a fun friend with benefits only to end up falling hard for Rory in the spring/summer of their 5th/6th year. When Rory ended things, Zola was quite heartbroken. 

Pets: A ginger cat called Tiger due to his stripes.

Rivals:

Reva Amari @lifeofkaze - They became rivals on the quidditch field (nothing to do with houses) though things intensified when Reva told others of Tarra's crush which led to a physical fight.

[lovelyirony]

strawberries & cigarettes by troye whatshisface but it's winteriron (idk if this is a prompt or just a statement you can take it as either)

Bucky doesn’t like the fact that he’s going to a stupid fucking private school. He doesn’t like that this is his mother’s sacrifice, that she stays up late with the bills and works another job so that he can go there and make a living. 

He doesn’t even know what he wants to do in life, that’s the thing. Mom thinks that he’s going to be a really good businessman and she doesn’t know that he smokes outside his window and sometimes just doesn’t retain any sort of information at school because he has to be good. 

“I sacrifice so much for you,” she tells him one night. “You need to make a good living for yourself. Promise me.” 

And he does. Hell if he knows how he’s going to keep it, but that’s the promise. 

- 

The one kid that he absolutely hates at school is Tony Stark. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth and a whole silverware drawer at the ready in case he doesn’t like the spoon. 

Tony’s kind of wealth is the kind that is so astronomically high that at some point you have to wonder what it means to him. Because it doesn’t seem to mean anything. 

He shows up in the shittiest sneakers he’s ever seen, held together with tape and drawn on by someone else. His hair is never styled, his uniform is never washed, and yet he just exudes that kind of confidence that comes with knowing that your life is better than anyone else’s, kind of. 

He’s also an ass in class. Correcting teachers, derailing the topic, and acting like it all is beneath him. 

They say he’s a genius, going to take over his father’s company. He has his future set in stone, and so there’s nothing else for him to learn. Bucky’s not really sure if he’s a genius or not, because he’s pretty sure a genius could figure out when to leave shit alone. 

Everyone at St. Anthony’s knows that Bucky is an individual who does well on his own. At most, you say hello and move on. He doesn’t talk to anyone, he makes sure he doesn’t look like he talks to anyone, and he’s said multiple times that he doesn’t want to talk to anyone. 

Tony Stark, however, talks. Doesn’t matter what the subject is, he talks. 

Bucky gets nicknames. Because of his...frigid demeanor, this means that Tony calls him shit like “Ice Pop,” “Icicle,” “Mr. Freeze,” and any other nickname that’s applicable to cold. 

“Hey Snowball,” Tony says in class. “You finished with your presentation for English class? Mine still sucks, although I’m sure it’ll be better than Hammer’s.” 

“That’s not saying a lot,” Bucky mutters. “At all. Now shut up. It’s class.” 

“We all know it’s going to be boring,” Tony says. “Sitwell has the personality of a tumbleweed, and you’re so much more interesting to talk to.” 

Bucky doesn’t respond to that. 

“Ah, so we’re at the no-talking stage, darling. I’ll make it up to you. Ice cream? Dinner? Elaborate cruise trip in summer?” 

Bucky rolls his eyes, and Tony quiets for roll call, but says one last comment. 

“I think I’m going to do the presentation in Comic Sans. Thoughts?” 

“I wish you didn’t have thoughts, then maybe you’d leave me alone.” 

Tony laughs. 

“You’re cute, Barnes. Cute. You know I don’t leave anyone alone.” 

- 

There’s a bad day. Bucky gets those sometimes. Every day of his life is a bad day, almost, but this one? The absolute worst. 

He had nightmares, barely got any sleep, and found out that his little sister used up the last of his shampoo, so he had to use his mom’s and now he smells like “Strawberry Paradise.” 

He hates the day, and it’s not even eight o’clock yet. 

Tony Stark, of course, makes it worse. He talks incessantly about something related to robotics or the weather or music or whatever, and Bucky just sees red. 

"Can you shut up for one fucking second of your life?” he hisses at him. “Oh my fucking god, it doesn’t matter. Nothing you say matters at all to me.” 

- 

Tony’s heard a lot of shit like that. Like, a lot. Probably worse. 

But for some reason, it’s hurting more coming from Bucky Barnes. 

Tony doesn’t shut up. He knows that. Everyone knows that. He has legitimately given people headaches. His dad has timed his talking and limited him to about two minutes. It would’ve been even less, but at family therapy they’re trying to work on “empathy for others.” 

(A crock of bullshit, because Tony’s fairly sure his dad doesn’t know what that is.) 

Bucky’s...he’s different. Sure, he hates Tony. Everyone does, and to be completely frank, Tony likes it that way. You know where you stand, how you can be interpreted if people only feel one thing about you. 

But Bucky is perhaps the only interesting person Tony knows at this hellhole of a school. He works really hard on his assignments, has more to work on than other kids. He looks frustrated at math equations, but stays and pores over textbooks after school. 

He brings a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every single day. Tony thinks the last time he had one was at a birthday party when he was twelve, and even then it wasn’t really a sandwich but more of a deconstructed concept thing that probably cost two hundred bucks a plate. 

- 

Now that Tony’s ruminating on it, it’s probably because no one has exactly told him that what he says doesn’t matter. They just say they don’t wanna hear about it. The two concepts are honestly very different. Tony has a sneaking suspicion that he is going to go into a tailspin about this on a Thursday night at two in the morning. 

Ha. On a Thursday night at two in the morning. What odd phrasing that is, why is that so weird? It’s night, but it’s morning and you’re supposed to be asleep but morning is a wake-up time, so--

Oh, there’s the meaning. 

Why would you discuss a night and a morning? Why does it matter? On a Thursday? 

Tony wonders how much shit he’s said that just ultimately doesn’t matter. 

This gets him thinking about how much nothing in his life matters. Don’t get him wrong, he knew it. 

Knew it in the way everyone tells him he’ll be the next Howard Stark. 

Knows it in the way that his own father isn’t exactly all too fond of him and Tony has a problem looking at anything with dear old Captain America because of comparisons that his father makes and honestly he probably almost named Tony “Steve.” 

Could you imagine him having the name of Steve? God, he’d barf. 

- 

For some reason, this is the worst he’s ever felt. Sure his father hates him and his mother could be considered an absentee at best, but what gets him to cry into his pillow and rethink his entire existence is a guy who has eye circles darker than anyone else’s and thinks that wearing any bright color is “branching out into alternative fashion.” 

God, he wishes he had a break. 

Nothing you say matters to me. 

This is the phrase that gets him. Tony is pretty sure it’s because it’s what everyone thinks. 

- 

Ever since then, Tony doesn’t talk to Bucky. Ever. 

And that’s...that’s weird to Bucky. It was routine. Tony annoys him, he snaps a bit, and then it starts all over. 

Tony looks at him, sometimes. As if he’s some sort of impossible problem he can’t figure out. 

When Bucky actually thinks about it, Tony hasn’t really talked to anyone. He’s still himself, which is irritating, but he’s not talking about anything and everything and filling up space. 

It’s...odd. 

He feels a little bit bad because what he said was super shitty and he shouldn’t have said it, but now it’s too late to just kind of awkwardly apologize, and Bucky’s already shit at apologizing anyway. 

- 

Summer arrives with a bang. School is let out ,and in comes the ninety-degree-days that melt your damn head off. Bucky’s apartment doesn’t have AC, so their windows are permanently open and fans are blasting as they swear they’re melting. 

Bucky needs a job. Preferably one with air conditioning. 

He finds one as a driver. Rich people hate taxis, it’s a huge health hazard or whatever they wanna say. He’s not gonna ask. But a nice man named Edwin hands him keys to a damn Cadillac and tells him not to drive too close to the other cars and be careful, because he wasn’t supposed to start the job quite yet, but “something came up.” 

- 

Tony fucking Stark. That’s who he’s fucking driving. 

“Oh my god,” Bucky groans. He sees Tony get into the car. 

“Hey, Jarvis told me I had a new driver, it’s really nice to--oh my fucking god.” 

“Where are you driving to.” 

“Queens.” 

“Queens, seriously?” 

Queens isn’t the type of place for someone like Stark to go to. He’s supposed to say Saks Fifth Avenue or Gucci or wherever the hell rich people go when they’re not vacationing in Europe or elsewhere. Not Queens. Especially not Queens. 

“It doesn’t matter where I’m going so long as you know where to drive,” Tony says. 

“Sheesh. Okay.” 

The rest of the drive is silent. It’s not like Bucky can do small-talk. Jesus, he’d rather take his other arm off than do that. 

And Tony, obviously, is not going to say anything. Not after hearing that stellar set of remarks from school. 

It’s a school. There are kids out front, who practically swarm the vehicle. 

“Should I be concerned?” 

“No, they do this every week. If you drive the car back home, Jarvis will explain more. You were kind of an ‘on the spot’ hire for us.” 

“Got it.” 

- 

Jarvis is a kindly old man who Bucky would trust with his Social Security number. 

He is also extremely loyal to Tony, at least. 

“He helps out with some after-school program at one of the local schools,” Jarvis says, smiling softly. “Has a spot in his heart for the children.” 

“What’s he do?” 

“Oh, helps them with schoolwork. I think he does some improvement type jobs around there, but he won’t let us know. Secretive, that one.” 

Bucky sips his tea and doesn’t say anything about how Tony once told everyone in the class that he was wearing neon yellow boxers and they were the comfiest damn boxers he had. It’s just not pertinent to this conversation. 

“You know him, Mr. Barnes?” 

“Um, yeah. We go to school together. I’ve seen him around.” 

“He’s a good student. Always getting straight A’s. Doesn’t always seem like it, but he listens well. Just has a different method.” 

“That’s for sure.” 

- 

For the next two weeks, it’s silence. Always. Bucky will turn on the radio and that’s it. The only thing that Tony has said is to “please change the channel to literally anything” when Belinda Carlisle’s infamously terrible “Heaven is a Place on Earth” came on. 

And that’s it. Seriously. 

When it is two weeks and four days, Bucky can’t take it anymore. 

“Look. I have this job for at least two more months. I’m talking to you. So tell me what you’re doing today.” 

“Teaching.” 

“Wow, way to be descriptive,” Bucky says sarcastically. 

Tony knows he shouldn’t throw it back in his face. But honestly, truly, this is pissing him off. 

“Oh I’m sorry, does what I say matter to you now? Is that what this is?” 

“Oh come on. That was months ago.” 

"Not the point!” Tony says. “I’m getting out now. Feel free to pick me up or not. I don’t give a fuck. But don’t you pretend for a damn minute that you give a shit about my reaction since you’ve already made your point.” 

The car door is slammed. 

Bucky is in somewhat of a pickle. 

- 

Sam tells him that he’s, quote, “the stupidest motherfucker on the planet.” 

And then hangs up. 

thank you for being such a good friend sam. really appreciate it. 

aw look at the little bitch boy mad because i called him stupid. shut up i’m on a date and don’t care once about you. at all. 

i think what i really like about our friendship is how open and empathetic you are to my feelings 

do you know how unattractive you are? on a scale of one to ten? prussia.  

you can’t count now? 

no i can count i’m just saying you shouldn’t exist. 

god i hate you. i’ll talk to you next month

(Yes, they have a time limit to texts. Once a month. And Bucky used his to try to get advice like an idiot. He should’ve just asked Steve. Steve probably would’ve sent him money for a milkshake.) 

- 

Sharon, upon reading his text, sends him back one message: 

so i read this but i’m not emotionally invested. can u make a playlist and send it to me? 

oh my god. you have got to be kidding me. 

i’m not. i told you that u need to b more creative in life. b spontaneous!!! 

He leaves her on read after that. 

- 

Bucky has to figure out how to apologize. Genuinely. Because nothing’s worse than having an apology made but knowing that the person isn’t really meaning it, they’re only saying it to make people more comfortable. 

(He wonders how many times someone’s apologized to Tony because of this reason.) 

He’s not exactly sure how to go about apologizing. 

But he figures it’s sooner rather than later, so he takes the subway to Manhattan and then gets a bike (that’s not exactly his, but he’s bringing it back) and starts the trek to the mansion. It’s a good and solid thirty minute bike ride. 

- 

Tony is having a rather uncomfortable family birthday dinner. Howard’s, to be specific. He’s not sure why they didn’t just go out, but maybe his father is tired of acting like a happy family in public. God knows Tony is. 

(“What’s your favorite thing about your son?” An interviewer had asked cheerily, blush lipstick stretching widely as she smiled. 

“Well, it’s certainly not his sense of style,” Howard had joked. 

He didn’t know what his favorite thing about his son was. He couldn’t answer the fucking question.) 

Jarvis mentions that “Sir Anthony” has a visitor at the door. 

“Are you serious, kid?” Howard says, hissing. “You told someone to come over? During a family event?” 

"No, of course not,” Tony says hurriedly. He doesn’t have anyone over to the house period. Too much risk, not enough payoff. There was also the fact that the house is basically like a mausoleum because both of his parents would rather be caught dead than spend time in one another’s company anymore. 

“I’ll go...I’ll go check who it is.” 

- 

Bucky. Fucking. Barnes. 

“What are you doing here?” Tony hisses. 

“I came to apologize.” 

“For what?” 

“For telling you that your words don’t matter?” Bucky says, more of a question. “I don’t know what else I would apologize for. Maybe for mean-mugging you. I don’t know.” 

“Why?” Tony asks, tiredly. “Why would you apologize for that?” 

“Because it’s obviously affecting you and also I know I was in the wrong? That’s why people apologize?” Bucky answers. “What I did was shitty. What you say matters, I was just having a shitty day and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. It obviously stuck with you a lot longer than I thought it would. So now I’m apologizing.” 

No one besides Jarvis has ever apologized to Tony. Ever. Not in a genuine way. 

“Did you...did you bike here? You have a bike?” 

“What? No.” 

“You walked here?” Tony asks, incredulous. 

“Of course not, then I’d be arriving, like, an hour later. No, the bike isn’t mine.” 

“Who’s is it?” 

“I don’t know, some hipster’s from Brooklyn.” 

“You stole a bike?” 

“The circumstances weren’t ideal, but I don’t have a car to drive to your freakishly large house,” Bucky said bluntly. 

Tony grins. 

“Well then, Buckster, welcome. Let me give you a ride home.” 

He pokes his head into the dining room, where the plates are already being cleared. 

“Hey, I gotta give my friend a ride home. Car broke down a couple miles from here.” 

“Why don’t you just fix it?” Howard asks. “You’re a Stark.” 

“A Stark who would need to order a part for a 1980 Ford Crown Victoria.” 

“Tell him to get a better car.” 

“Sure, pops.” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

“Alright, Dear Father of Mine.” 

“Just go, damn it!” 

- 

Bucky is led to a garage full of luxury cars that probably cost more than his whole block put together. 

“Which one you wanna go in?” 

“Am I allowed in one of these? Holy fuck these are nice.” 

Tony grins. 

“Best part about having a car is driving it. Choose one.” 

Bucky chooses a bright red car, a smooth Cadillac. 

“Holy hell, this is cool.” 

Tony drives. 

He’s a good driver once you get past the fact that you will fear for your life for at least twenty minutes. He is also notoriously terrible in the city traffic, yelling at drivers and pedestrians alike. 

“How are you still alive with the way you drive?” Bucky asks. 

“We made it, didn’t we?” Tony asks, grinning. “Now go return your bike and don’t try to walk to my house again.” 

“See you tomorrow?” 

“Naturally.” 

- 

Tony talks a lot. But Bucky finds himself listening. It still takes a while, but he talks. 

Tony really is smart. His mind just works quickly, and that’s why at school he never really seems to absorb anything. 

Bucky tells him about his neighborhood and how much he hates his neighbor because she keeps blasting music at one in the morning. 

“So? Blast it in the morning,” Tony says. “That’s what I’d do.” 

“Ma would say no.” 

“Then don’t tell her!” 

- 

When it all changes, it’s when Bucky picks him up from a gala. He gets the following text: 

pls come pick me up!! please! i’m begging! 

It’s eleven at night, but Bucky sighs and goes to get the car and goes to pick him up. 

Tony’s swaying outside. Bucky gets out, getting a pack of Marlboro out of his jacket. 

“Shouldn’t smoke,” Tony says. 

“You drunk?” 

“No, can’t risk it when Howard and Maria aren’t here--mom and dad.” 

He almost never calls his parents mom and dad. Ever. Only in public settings. 

Bucky lights up anyway. Tony stares at the orange embers flaring up. 

“Why did you need a ride?” 

“Kind of avoiding an old...enemy. Slash ex-boyfriend.” 

“The worst kind of enemy to have. He trying to talk to you?” 

“It’s been an all-night event, so--” 

The doors burst open. 

Out walks the sleaziest guy that Bucky’s ever seen. His suit is garishly designer, the kind that borders on being confused for a tacky suit that you find in a thrift store for two dollars total. 

“Tony, baby! Where have you been? I wanted to discuss things with you...in private.” 

He gives Bucky a once-over. 

“And who are you, catering?” 

Bucky immediately wants to clock this guy in the damn mouth. 

“Actually this is James, my boyfriend,” Tony says, snaking his arm around Bucky’s waist. 

At this point, he’ll just have to go with it. It’s not the worst thing that’s happened. 

“And who are you?” Bucky asks. “Sweetheart, you never mentioned you knew someone with such a...unique take on style.” 

“I’m Ty, an old and close friend,” he says. He sticks his hand out. Bucky makes him switch hands by holding out his metal hand. 

“Nice to see you,” he says. “But unfortunately, I have to take my guy back home. Plans and all that, you know how it is.” 

“Bye Ty!” Tony says. 

Bucky throws an arm around Tony’s shoulders, bringing him close. A ghost of a kiss to the forehead completes the lie, and Bucky looks back towards Ty, who has his eyes narrowed. 

He flips him off with his right hand. (It’s satisfying.) 

“Thank you so much for going along with that,” Tony says, looking up. 

The cigarette is still in his mouth. He takes a drag, letting embers fall down and disintegrate into the pavement. 

“He seemed like a shitty kind of person.” 

“Not the best of people, that’s for sure,” Tony mutters. “You wanna go get ice cream?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.” 

- 

Getting late night ice cream is like going into a different dimension. Bucky’s not sure if it’s the overbearing, fluorescent white light that gets to him, but Tony seems tired. At ease, but tired. 

He gets strawberry ice cream, and Bucky gets chocolate. 

They sit and eat for a moment. 

“Why do you go to St. Anthony’s?” Tony asks. “It’s clear you hate it.” 

“You don’t?” 

“Not the worst school I’ve been sent to.” 

“You don’t want to be there either?” 

“There are a lot of places I don’t want to be, but this isn’t about me, I’m asking about you. You wanna share with the class or get a hall pass?” 

Bucky snorts. 

“Geez, okay. My mom really wants a good education for me.” 

"She know that you don’t know what to do?” 

“And how do you figure that?” Bucky asks, eyebrow raised. 

“You wouldn’t be working as a chauffeur for the rich kid if you knew what you were working towards,” Tony says with a shrug. “Seen it happen before. Usually I don’t know who they are, but you figure out commonalities pretty quickly.” 

That makes too much sense. 

“I have no fucking clue how I’m living my life and my mom wants me to become a businessman.” 

“You wanna do that?” 

“Do I look like the kind of guy that wants to wear a suit?” 

“You look like you’d look good in a suit, not that you’d wear one.” 

Bucky laughs. Takes a bite of ice cream, and readjusts the pack of cigarettes in his pocket. 

- 

Over the summer, he and Tony get closer. They take walks in the park and Tony drags him into overpriced shops to look at clothes that are the ugliest goddamn things they’ve ever seen. 

At some point, they hold hands and discuss secrets of the world of theirs that is unique to them. 

Bucky kisses him one night while they’re just leaving perhaps the worst restaurant in the entire state of New York and god Tony didn’t think he’d ever not mind being wrapped up in fake-strawberry scented hair and cigarette smoke clinging to clothing, but he doesn’t mind it. 

The whole summer, they’re inseparable. Tony chatters in the front seat of the car, now, and Bucky smiles a little bit more. 

They walk in parks together and show each other funny little jokes and make inside understandings and look at sunsets and sunrises and get coffee and look at each other across the room. 

- 

It’s love, honest and true. But it’s not love like the never-ending kind. The thing about love is that it is not included in any toolbox, physical or mental. There is one thing that everyone knows regardless of whether it is admitted or not: 

Love does not solve everything. It does not fix everything. And one should never rely on it to do anything but exist and work through your person to the best of its ability. 

- 

Howard comes back from a business trip. Sees Tony kiss Bucky goodbye, and that is that. 

You can’t something like that as a son. It just...it won’t work for business. 

Tony is sent to a boarding school upstate. Stricter guidelines, more controlling. 

Bucky only hears one thing from Tony: 

I’m sorry. 

And he doesn’t believe it. 

When you’re young, you think love is invincible. You think it survives through everything if you really want it to. 

Love doesn’t do that. 

Bucky writes letters, calls Jarvis, and mourns the loss of young love. He smokes a little bit more, leaves it clinging to his skin as a reminder that Tony would always wrinkle his nose in that adorable way, but it served to show Bucky that he had a bad habit. 

He was in the middle of quitting. 

His mother notices it. 

Tells him that he needs to get his own shampoo. 

“You can’t just use mine all the time,” she says playfully. 

He remembers Tony’s hands gently threading through his hair in disbelief as Bucky kissed the living hell out of him. 

Now there’s barely any trace. 

He stops in his tracks when he sees an old coffee cup of Tony’s in his kitchen cabinet. 

“When did you get this one?” Becca asks. She’s drinking out of it. He remembers Tony smiling over it at their little coffee shop that was hidden away. “I love it. It’s so cute.” 

“From a thrift store,” Bucky says. “You can have it.” 

“Really? Thanks!” 

- 

Tony pauses at the smell of cigarette smoke. Remembers blue eyes blazing along with orange embers, smoke curling around long hair and long summer nights. 

His roommate at this new school asks if he smokes, if he can get him a pack. 

“Uh, no. Just used to know someone who did.” 

“You think they could get me a pack?” 

“They don’t go here.” 

“You can’t call them?” 

Tony doesn’t respond. 

You can’t call them? 

He’s almost texted him about twenty times. Called him about thirty. 

He knows the number by heart. 

But he knows that Howard made him get a new phone, and now the memories are fading. He wishes he still had the pictures. 

- 

Love does not always last. Sometimes it is not meant to. Tony tries to tell himself that as he wakes up with tears streaming down his cheeks. 

You always wish it would. 

[pip-n-flinx]

What does Liquor Taste Like?

I’ve decided to make a series on tasting different booze cuz fuck it, this is what I do for a living and I’m not bad at this shit for a 26 y/o Gonna start in my own home turf. I’m American born, of Scottish and Irish descent, and grew up obsessed with Japanese Culture. You wanna know what the famous whisk(e)y regions of the world are? America (Bourbon & Rye Whiskey,) Scotland (Scotch Whisky,) Ireland (Irish Whiskey,) and Japan (Japanese Whisky.) It was either destiny or I was doomed, not sure which.

There’s a lot that goes into whisk(e)y making beyond nobody agreeing on how to spell that shit, but there’s 3 basic things you wanna get you’re head around.

Mash. This is the grain that goes into the still and produces the alcohol. Different grains make different flavors, badabingbadaboom there you go.

Corn is common in America and tends to have a sweetness about it.

Rye varies greatly, but generally ranges from spicy ginger and pepper to more herbacious notes like anise and green growing bits like eucalyptus. Malting the rye the same way you might malt sugar produces the standard malty flavor but can also introduce strange notes like wet hay (I don’t make the rules sometimes this shit gets outta hand.)

Barley is common in every whisk(e)y region and generally has a more recognizably grain/bready flavor. Can also give you a kind of nutty note. Malting the barley is the standard, I’m not even sure I know what an unmalted barley would taste like in whisk(e)y.

All of these grains need to be dried out to prevent mold. Island and coastal Scottish distillery’s historically had trouble with this, and some turned to peat moss as fuel to smoke out the moisture. This does really leave some of the peat smell in the whiskey, but also imparts a big smokey note that a peat bog doesn’t offer.

Filtering and the Still. So this is a weird catagory because different stills produce different whiskeys and different filtration systems add/remove different things too.

Traditional Irish Whiskey (which basically all comes from Middleton Distillery due to some weird features of Irish Law even per-separation from the United Kingdom) is done in copper pot stills. Pot stills are smaller, and often lead to smaller ‘heart’ cuts and a higher presence of funkier flavors. Copper stills are favored in Ireland as up to a certain age the copper walls help pull sulfur out of the mash.

Scottish Stills can very, but often feature taller ‘Column’ stills, which produce a larger ‘heart’ cut of liquor and a smoother/less funky white whiskey.

America tends towards either newer continuous stills (see later notes in Japanese entry) or column stills, though Willett does a pot still Bourbon for those who want a little extra bite.

Each Japanese distillery has adopted so many of europe’s techniques for whiskey production that trying to generalize is difficult. The Nikka ‘Coffey’ line of whiskys are named for a continuous still developed by an Irishman of the same name, and column stills are common.

Many flavored whiskeys/cheaper low proof whiskeys are run through a so-called ‘chill filter’ process. This not only strips away any remaining solids from the mash, but also removes some of the natural oils that might congeal at low temperatures and seperate (temporarily) from the whiskey. This is generally agreed to make your whiskey taste harsher.

The only other filtration I’m aware of in whiskey making is Tennessee whiskey, which must by law be passed through a (maple) charcoal filter before being barrelled, lending itself to the styles simple sweet flavors.

Aging/Barreling. Hoooo boy here we go. First off the way we age our whisk(e)ys is not sustainable longterm, but this is where things get interesting. Different barrel/rick/dun-houses have wild theories about which barrels make the best whiskey, but here are some basics.

All American Bourbon, Rye, and Tennessee Whiskeys must be aged in first fill american oak. This means there is a glut of used american oak barrels on the market. American oak in particular when toasted/charred produces a byproduct called vanillin, named for its similarity to vanilla. The barrel itself may impart some baking spice notes like clove or maybe even cinnamon/nutmeg. Barrels that weren’t properly flamed/dried will give you a very moldy, wet-grass-stuck-to-a-lawn-mower-too-long flavor. This is bad.

Most of the rest of the world finds use for these used ex-bourbon/rye casks as they are now known for the aging of their whiskeys. If you see a Scottish or Irish Whisk(e)y and it doesn’t give you any information about the barrel, assume it’s ex-bourbon.

The other common types of barrels used are ex-sherry, ex-port, and ex-rum casks. Other wine casks are not unheard of. There’s also a difference between “finished in” and “aged in.” Finishing is a process that occurs after the age statement on the bottle (if any) and is a common technique for adding richness and depth of character to a mid-high end whiskey

Rum casks often provide a simple sweetness, almost a caramel/butterscotch note and occasional tropical fruit notes.

Port casks provide a simple sweet red fruit note, most commonly akin to strawberries. Depending on the cask used, however, they can also get deeper dessert flavors like chocolate or an almost graham-cracker flavor.

Sherry casks are by far the most popular finishing cask. They often provide citrus notes like orange or rarer flavors like satsuma, apricot, or even persimmons. I associate it with marmalade-ie flavors. Sherry cask aged whiskeys are rarer yet, tend to be more expensive, and often pick up green tea/pineapple notes but I’d even go so far as to say you can get a tapioca like sweetness and flavors as deep as a redbean paste if the whiskey aged long enough. Sherry can enhance the nutty flavors in barley too.

Older age statements are not always better. Younger Whisk(e)ys tend to be more vibrant, with brighter fruit notes and bolder flavors. Older whisk(e)ys tend to be mellower, with some of the flavors taking a backseat to the barrel influence. Peated whiskeys start to lose their smoke as they age, but coastal peated offerings get particularly oily and viscous and sometimes pick up brine from the sea as they age.

And there you have it! It’s not completely comprehensive, but this feels like a sufficient info dump for anyone with the inclination to read through it!

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

Bad Blood - Chapter 6

You can find it on AO3, or find the Tumblr Chapter Index here. 

*****

Derek’s textbooks sit on the kitchen table. Peter doesn’t think they’ve been opened in days. Not since Derek learned about the Argents, and not since Matty left to stay with Satomi’s pack.

Six years, Peter thinks. Six years, and Derek was finally starting to heal, to show just the faintest glimmers of the smiling nephew Peter remembers from before the fire, and of course that’s been ripped away again. And Derek’s not the only one.

Just a few months ago Laura was talking about rebuilding the house. Talking about expanding the pack. Talking about a future like she believed they had one.

And Peter… well, he hasn’t slept through the night in six years, but at least his nightmares didn’t plague him in his waking hours. Now, more and more, he finds himself thinking of the fire. Of the screams. Of watching them all die. Of stumbling down that tunnel, of Cora’s hand slipping from his, and when he turned…

When he turned all he saw was smoke and flames.

They never found Cora’s body, and Peter has never forgotten the sensation of gripping tighter and tighter, and her small fingers slipping through his all the same. One of the investigators told him later that the fire burned so hot in some points in the basement and the tunnels that even bone could turn to ash.

And Peter had let her slip out of his grasp.

Derek and Laura were out that night.

It was only Peter who survived the fire—Peter and Matty.

And Peter has never forgiven himself for that. Why did he let her go? How did he let that happen?

He finds himself looking down at his hands more and more these days, and remembering how they failed him.

His left hand. The left hand of the left hand.

The left hand that failed.

It’s exactly the sort of clumsy metaphor that Peter would turn his lip up at in some pretentious novel, but in real life, he thinks, the sting will never end.

And that’s fine.

He doesn’t deserve for it to ever stop hurting.

***

Peter puts out the feelers to other packs, but he’s not surprised when none of them respond with anything more than sympathy. Packs aren’t structured the way that the hunters are. There is no council, no alliances, not even any formal treaties like in some places in Europe. America is vast, and the few werewolf packs are spread out. Territorial disputes are rare, because most territories are separated by large expanses of unclaimed land. The simple reason that the Argents do most of their killing in Europe is because there are more werewolves there for them to kill. Werewolves are territorial creatures by nature—they originated in the old world, and most remained there. They are reluctant immigrants. They don’t like to leave their homes.

They are reluctant refugees as well.

Satomi Ito and her pack lives close to Beacon Hills, but there is no animosity between her and the Hale pack. Satomi cannot offer the Hale pack reinforcements, but she does offer them sanctuary, and not just for Matty. If they run, Satomi will take them.

The idea of leaving Beacon Hills makes Peter’s fangs itch, and not solely because of his blood ties to the land.

Peter reads the email from Satomi that Laura forwarded him, his eyes stinging a little when Satomi promises there is a place for them in her territory. He closes his laptop and goes outside onto the balcony where he finds Laura sitting on the loveseat, her face illuminated by the glow of her phone’s screen. She sets the phone down when he sits beside her.

“What do you think?” she asks softly.

“I think it’s a generous offer,” Peter murmurs, looking out over the lights of Beacon Hills. It’s not a particularly impressive sight. Beacon Hills is a small town. Peter has always liked that about it.

“That’s not an answer.”

Peter shrugs, and exhales slowly. “I think that our pack is four people, Lulu, and one of them is a nine-year-old human. I think that the fact that Gerard and Kate and Chris and Victoria are all back here now is the definition of overkill. This isn’t about the Code. This is about their pride. This is about them finishing the job they started with the fire.”

Laura makes a small sound of agreement.

“Some of us lived, and that offends them,” Peter says, his upper lip curling in a snarl at the word. “If we run, they’d follow. And that’s not fair on Satomi.”

“Or Matty,” Laura murmurs.

Peter swallows. “Or Matty.”

“So it’s us then?” Laura asks. “The three of us, against the Argents?”

Peter stares out at the lights. “So it seems.”

“And Deaton?”

“Deaton’s an emissary,” Peter says. “Emissaries talk, they don’t fight. And something tells me the Argents aren’t here to negotiate.”

“And even if we beat them,” Laura says, her breath hitching, “what’s to stop other hunters coming for us for that?”

Peter wishes he could lie to her.

“I don’t know,” he says at last. “Probably nothing.”

They sit together in silence as the night draws on.

***

Peter is loath to admit it, but it’s almost a relief when he’s woken the next morning by the sound of raised voices. Ah. Teenage melodrama. What a lovely change of pace. He climbs out of bed and pads out of his bedroom and down the steps to the living room.

“And what the hell is going on here?” he asks in his most pleasant tone. It’s a shade removed from his ‘I’m going to kill everyone in this room and not even break a sweat’ tone, and is incredibly effective of his enemies. It’s also incredibly effective on young Scott McCall, the reluctant teenage beta, whose eyes are big enough to swallow universes right now.

“Close your mouth, dear boy,” Peter says. It’s been too long since Peter has felt like anything but a weary husk, or a shivering prey creature huddled in the undergrowth. It’s positively a delight to actually be able to intimidate someone for a change. “You’ll catch flies.”

Scott snaps his jaw shut.

Derek rolls his eyes. “Scott wants to go to a party on Friday night. To hook up with a girl.”

“Not just hook up!” Scott insists, his face flushing indignantly. “I really like her!”

“Oh,” Peter purrs, heading for the kitchen and the coffee machine. “How sweet. Scott, did you miss the part where there are hunters in town, and not only should you be staying away from this loft, but you should be also staying away from anything where you risk losing control and either attacking and killing all of your friends—including the pretty girls—or painting a fucking target on your back for the Argents?”

“It’s just a party!” Scott insists, his face screwed up like a toddler’s. “I won’t lose control!”

“Oh, yes,” Peter says. “It’s just a party. And last week on the field when you almost ripped a teammate’s head off, that was just a lacrosse game, am I right?”

Scott growls, the sound rumbling in his chest in a very inhuman way and not making a case for control in any way, shape or form.

Peter meets Derek’s gaze, and Derek rolls his eyes again.

“Scott,” Peter says, forcing a gentleness into his tone that he doesn’t feel. “It’s dangerous now, for you, and for the people around you.”

Scott huffs, and throws up his hands. “Fine! Fine, I won’t go to the party!”

Peter would be a lot more sympathetic to the boy if he hadn’t been dumb enough to just lie to his face.

He lets it go.

“Good,” he says mildly, and turns his attention to the coffee machine.

When Scott leaves, Derek locks the door after him.

“He’s going to the party anyway, isn’t he?” Derek asks.

“Oh, he absolutely is,” Peter says. “And he’s going to need someone there to make sure he doesn’t get himself killed, or that he loses control and slaughters half his classmates.”

He leaves it to Derek to draw the obvious conclusion.

Derek swears under his breath. “I’m going to the party too, aren’t I?”

“Oh, you absolutely are,” Peter says with a smirk. “Have fun.”  

***

John Stilinski’s house is in darkness, except for the kitchen light. Peter lurks on the back porch and stares in through the windows at the man.

Stilinski is sitting at his kitchen table, a bottle of whiskey within reach of his left hand, and his SIG Sauer P220 in reach of his right. He’s a mess. He’s unshaven, and his khaki uniform shirt is unbuttoned to reveal his undershirt. Peter can smell the alcohol seeping out of his pores from the other side of the glass.

He’s an attractive man despite his current state. Peter has always thought so. Stilinski isn’t a young man, and his last decade hasn’t been kind to him. He’s weathered and worn, but he carries it well. Well, most of the time, at least. Tonight might be the exception.

Tonight he looks like a fucking disaster.

When Peter was younger, when he was training to be the pack’s left hand at his Aunt Sarah’s side, he’d had to learn all the hunter families. He’d studied their family trees, their pictures. He’d seen them when he closed his eyes. And maybe he’d even incorporated some of them into his dirtiest fantasies. Janusz Stilinski and Christophe Argent had featured in a lot of those. They were all variations on a theme, where a sneaky and wily teenage werewolf got the drop on two hot older hunters and taught them a lesson they wouldn’t soon forget.

That was before Peter had seen pictures of what men like that had done though. Entire packs slaughtered, with not even the children spared.

The man in the kitchen might have been a fantasy conquest of Peter’s once, and he might look like a tired old drunk now, but Peter isn’t fooled by that either.

John Stilinski is what he’s always been: a killer.

Peter won’t forget that, not even when the sheriff exhales heavily and the sound catches on a sob.

He’s a hunter, and he’s a killer, and that moment of mercy six years ago was nothing but an aberration.

Peter slinks away into the darkness, and leaves the sheriff to his misery.

[welcometohetaliahell]

Their scents/natural smell

*just an f.y.i these are all my personal headcanons and I chose to describe them versus using a couple of words for no reason other than I wanted to. Also, there are characters like Sealand, Seychelles, Liechtenstein, and Moldova missing because in my mind they are babies and it would just be weird for me. 

The America’s 

America: His scent changes depending on where he’s coming from in the U.S., one day he could have of a pine tree scent, to him or motor oil, but generally his cologne is very metallic but underneath that is Evergreen mixed with a faint scent of gunpowder.  

Canada: This may seem stereotypical, but he smells sweet, like sugary donut pancake sweet, but that’s mixed with that crisp, fresh, winter air that comes like a week after it snows, thick, rich wood, and coffee. 

Mexico: Her scent changes based on the seasons, or in general the time of year. During the fall/winter months for the U.S. (September to March) her scent is very subtle and maybe a little dry, not like dusty, but she just smells clean and plain. But during the warmer months is when her scent can be a little overbearing. It’s hot and salty because of the heat but very fruity and sweet, it doesn’t come off as a perfume but rather like she’s eaten a bunch of fruits in one go or had been picking them. 

Cuba: He overwhelmingly smells like motor oil, but not in a bad way, like it’s mixed with sweat because I think in some ways he’s had to learn to love fixing up old cars because of his countries situation. But it’s also mixed with salt water and sand with just a hint of cigar smoke underneath. 

Europe

Britain: Britain’s changes based on the weather. If it’s raining that is the main scent with a mix of smog and motor oil. But if it’s just overcast he still smells like dim weather because it’s so common, but it’s mixed with pipe-smoke, or canon smoke, and old books.

France: This man smell’s like roses like he just does. But he doesn’t smell like the same rose, there’s always something different that may hint at specific color or type of rose, hell maybe where it was grown. He also smells like cheese, which is weird I know, but like really good cheese that when you smell it you just want a cracker with maybe a piece of ham or something and gobble it up. But underneath all that is like old grime, like old metal building grime, and sweat mainly from around the time of the industrialization of Europe and America i.e. the building of the Eifel Tower and the Statue of Liberty. 

Russia: Now like Canada he also smells like winter, but he smells like that impending snowstorm, cold winter weather that almost leaves a taste in your mouth though he burns like a furnace. I also think he smells like old brick or masonry in general. Like an old brick building that hasn’t had a fire blazing inside in a very long time.

Germany: While I want to say he smells like a beer, which he does, but that’s not his main scent. He mainly smells like the top lining on a drum kit, not the old animal hides they used to use, that has gone through a few 6+ hour long practices with a broken stick or two. Now underneath that is the beer smell, but it’s mixed with sweat and motor oil but not only does he like working out he also likes working, mainly on cars, but every once in a while a hint of wood or fire will come through.

Italy: This boy smells like a chefs kitchen, a mix of a lot of things that sometimes makes your nose itch and you wonder what the hell is cooking. But he also smells like oil paint and canvas and marble because like Germany he likes to create, just more Bob Ross and less Rudolf Diesel. 

Southern Italy: This boy like a vineyard, and I know you’ll be asking why Italy or France don’t smell like that, and idk but this boy smells like he spends every morning standing in the middle of the vineyard where the wind can pass right through him and that’s his cologne. But he also smells like shoe polish and fresh, baked bread. 

Spain: This man smells like a lot of various things and changes constantly. The most prominent thing he smells like is seafood, like battered and fried seafood with an undertone of salt. But other times he’ll smell very sweet still with that undertone of salt. 

Scotland: This man smells old, but not like the same old that China smells, but more like a castle – masonry old. And he obviously smells like smoke/nicotine because he smokes but it’s not seeped into his clothes its right around his head/neck area and everywhere else just smells like old linen. Like something you haven’t worn in a few months that’s been hanging in your closet clean but maybe you should’ve shaken it before you put it on. 

Poland: So, if you catch him when he wakes up in between showers he’ll smell spicy actually with like an undertone of rugged wilderness, like plain grass and wheat, and water. But he really likes the flowery smells of perfume so he’ll wear those a lot though he is conscious of the impact it can have on other people, so he never wears too much and he tries to go for the more shuttle scents like flowers over things like cotton candy or berry because those are really pungent.  

Lithuanian: He smells like the woods, like dead-ass middle of nowhere moss covering everything woods mixed with fresh water and sometimes things like berries with a rugged undertone of dirt and evergreen that was pushed into his scent all the time's wolves would just tackle and love all over him. During the winter his scent can get very stuffy and plain, like what happens to a house when it’s being lived in but not, yet it’s surrounded by the cold. 

Latvia: This is gonna sound odd, but he smells like ham, potatoes, and alcohol. Like most of the time, he smells very plain and nothing really sticks out so sometimes he’ll wear cologne but when it’s colder out and he’s stuck inside and everything he smells like ham, potatoes, and alcohol. 

Estonia: This man smells like an office/server room. It’s really clean but cold with a metallic undertone. But he also smells really fresh after he’s left the office and showered – like fresh berries and other fruits. Sometimes he’ll smell more like potatoes and meat but that’s mostly when in the winter when the fresh fruits and all can’t be picked. There are also some earthy undertones to his scent that come out during the winter.

Austria: He smells like old sheet music, or just like old paper in general. That kinda dusty but intriguing smell you get from a really old document or book. There’s also a layer of coffee, fried bread, and evergreen. He sometimes wear a sharp cologne if he’s going out or something and he doesn’t use any super flowery shampoo or anything in the shower so most of the time he smells like old books and food – might made you hungry. 

Switzerland: He can also sometimes smell like cheese, but again the good kind of cheese that you wanna eat. But he also smells like really clean, crisp water with an undertone on evergreen and metal. He’ll sometimes smell sweet and other times he’ll smell like beer but those come out depending on what he’s eaten or whenever he showered last. 

Netherlands: This man is a blend of tulips, chocolate, and pipe smoke. On is always more dominant than the either and kinda gives away his mood. Sometimes he’ll have a woody-fury undertone to him from the time he's spent outside with rabbits. The heavy smoke smell typically gives away that he’s stressed or maybe even mad. The chocolate says that he’s been with his sister and could be in a good mood if it was just them, but it can also be a sign that he’s trying to relax and it’s not working. The tulip smell says that he’s suuuuuper happy and relaxed and that you could go and talk to him and he's chill. Mostly on the weekends. 

Belgium: She smells like chocolate, chocolate, and flowers but with undertones of a vegetable garden and fresh air. She doesn’t really wear any perfume and doesn’t use super pungent shampoos and lotions. She mostly smells sweet but occasionally there will be this metallic, salty sea air undertone that comes out especially when she’s sweating that’ll remind that his women will kick your ass if she needs to.

Belarus: She smells very metallic but also sweet, like sucker sweet with while you have a tongue or lip piercing. Her cold undertone is the cold air that you breathe in super deep to fill your lung and try to relax, maybe the kinda cold that fills you before you start running outside or hiking. 

Ukraine: She smells like wheat, but not like gross wheat but like the standing in the middle of the field kinda wheat smell that is where you’d wanna take a super aesthetic photo those it’s kinda itchy as hell. She also smells like flower, as in cooking flower, because I picture her as liking to bake and yeah. Her undertone is cold, but like the cold of seeing your breath, the also sweet cold that doesn’t hurt at first but if you stay out in it you’ll nose will hurt.

Nordics

Iceland: Because he is an island with volcano’s he smells like molten rock mixed with cold seawater but with an undertone of grass. It’s very inviting and warm to smell, no sulfur unless there was a recent eruption and then he reeks of it but also sweats and he’s in a lot of pain and a cloud of smoke almost lingers around him until everything is calmed down. 

Norway: This man smells like Evergreen/Pine trees and cold water with clean linens that weren’t washed with anything scented. But he can smell like chocolate, beer, and pancake mix with just a hint of pipe-smoke. (*this is coming from personal experience in Norway and this is what I remember smelling*)

Finland: I wanna say he smells like Christmas, but he’s Finland and so his Christmas is different from mine, but I will say it’s a good bet that he smells like sugar cookies and maybe wrapping paper, like that smell that lingers after you’ve cut it a bunch in the same room. Like Russia, Norway, Canada, and the rest of the colder nations he too smells cold, but he smells like snow cold, like a gentle flurry that you’d take aesthetic photos in kinda snow. But I think he has undertones of gunpowder and metal.

Denmark: This man smells like a bonfire, and I don’t really know why, but he smells like a bonfire mixed with sea water and fresh brew booze. It’s very welcoming and it almost gives you energy and makes you want to stay there a socialize with him and maybe drink and cause some trouble but that’s your decision. Unless it’s the dead of winter he doesn’t smell as cold as say Russia or Canada, but if there’s a bad storm that bonfire smell with mix well with the cold and will make you want to curl up and nap with him. 

Sweden: This man smells like a wood workshop, sometimes he smells like more fresh cut wood and others he smells like wood sealer and sawdust. Again, like the others, he smells like the cold but it’s not a pungent as some of the others like you’d have to be hugging him for a while to notice it versus Russia where you’d immediately notice it especially during winter. There are some undertones of sea water and motor oil/exhaust but like the cold, you’ll have to be hugging him to notice or he just took a shower and then those are more present. 

Asia 

China: So like Scotland, he smells old but a different kind of old, like old wood and paper. Liked like a house that hasn’t had anyone in it for a long time but it’s not rotting or anything. But on a bad day, i.e. bad weather and such, he heavily smells like smog and he desperately tries to cover it up if he gets out of bed and has to leave the house. But he tries to purposely smell clean like fresh linen’s just washed or a sparkling clean house though in his young years i.e. Silk Road and all he heavily began to smell like opium. But he always has an undertone of warm tea. 

Japan: This man smells like ink mixed with paper, and it shows on the tips of his fingers. This mainly comes from the hours he spends reading and writing various mangas and stories. But he also smells like pillow packing feathers, you know that ones that’ll stab from the inside of the pillow lining but smell great and are super fluffy. There’s also so undertones of fire embers and cats.

South Korea: His smell changes like some of the others, but its equally based on where he is and the weather. If he’s coming from Seoul he can smell like a busy street and a blend of people but if it’s raining it turns into motor oil and maybe a warm bowl of ramen. If he’s coming from somewhere like Daegu or Busan he may smell more like street food or more like the water. 

India: This man smells like spice, which does seem stereotypical, but he also smells like rain and really rich tea. But it’s all brought together with a really clean, linen smell with just hint of metallic undertones. His smell is also really bright and even fruity almost or flowery with undertones of like massage oil or something. 

Ottoman Family

Turkey: This man smells like olive oil, I know kinda weird, but the trees grow abundantly in the western part of the country and its used in the food. But she also can sometimes smell like fish but also sometimes just smell like the water, it kinda depends on what he eats and the weather. He has a smoke and sweetness undertone – like chocolate and maybe opium(?). He’ll also sometimes smell like mud and sweat but again it depends on the time of year and what he’s been doing. 

Greece: I’m gonna say it, this man smells like cats but not like cat shit or litter, just cats. That soft, fluffy, warm feeling you have when you first interact with a cat before you realize how weird they kinda smell. But he too smells old in a way, but his old smell is like colosseum old smell – marble, stone, a bit dusty but doesn’t irritate your nose. Like it’s not dirty, just it’s been here for a while kinda old. There’s also a big undertone of sea water and linen but like none processed linen so like it’s being made into something linen not ‘oh this is a shirt or sheet’ kinda linen.

Egypt: Another one that smells old but this old can be the kind that irritates your nose because his old is the old of a place that was sealed away and not messed with for a long time for good reason kinda old. But he also smells like fruit and vegetables, nothing specific but like he smells fresh and natural (?) with a mix of fresh water. 

Hungary: She smells like metal, shiny, heavy metal mixed with dirt and sweat because she’s a badass woman who fought but also, mainly because of her time with turkey, she smells a bit like hay, spice, and smoke. Though all of his doesn’t come out unless she’s either a) working out or b) just woke up because she likes to uses a lot of flower-scented products but doesn’t wear perfume. 

Other

Prussia: He smells more like beer than his brother but like Hungary, he has an old metal and grime smell to him from years of fighting and wearing armor. He also smells like paper because for a long time, especially with Fitz, he played music and when he could sleep he would study it but also it’s from all his writing and home many times he’s sat down a read over his journals. I also think he probably smells slightly like smoke but no particular scent to it like bonfire or nicotine, he just sometimes smells like smoke. 

Australia: This man is a bit all over the place. Mainly he smells a bit dry or clay-like, but it’ll mix with salt water and sand and sometimes it’ll turn really muddy and wet. I could compare it to a wet dog smell but its not gross he just very much resembles his environment and so it changes but in general his smell can be relaxing if you’re asking for a hug but if he throws his arm around smiling really wide that smell will likely give away the fact that he’s gonna drag you off to do something adventurous and potentially dangerous. 

New Zealand: They smell like grass, but not like fresh cut grass or brittle dying grass, just tall, thick, plain grass with a mix of saltwater air and mountain top cold, but this last one changes depending on where they are because they could also smell a bit dry/sandy. They also smell sweet, but not like chocolate or sugar sweet, just sweet like you a few houses down from a bakery kinda sweet. 

[uhhailey]

Things I’ve Heard High Schoolers Say

I graduated!!! So have the list of things I’ve overheard at school!

~

- "I stopped using anal beads... (muffled conversation)"

- "Why would you even kill a prostitute in the first place?"

- One bro to his bro friend "dude stop sucking dicks"

- "What did we do in math?" "Smoke weed."

- "He doesn't eat paper anymore it doesn't taste good."

- "You look like a lesbian." "What does a lesbian look like?" "You."

- "You look like an old math teacher."

- "Have you ever sent noodles?"

- "Thanks mom."

- "Do you like tacos or hotdogs?"

- "Do you think i'd memorize it if I ate the paper?"

- "What's up my dick-sucking whore?" *sucking noise*

- "Forgive me heavenly father, for I have sinned." "Why?" "I wrote 1,555 words of smut last night." "Oh."

- "He eats his poop!"

- "Fidget and chill"

- "Oh I thought that was a duck but it was really a rock."

- "You can always shower but you can't shower when you're dead."

- "I thought it was a chicken but it was just a fire hydrant."

- "Don't touch me I don't want your diseases."

- "Is that arm dead? No it's alive."

- "Just want to make sure, tacos and burritos are already in Spanish right?"

- "People are like sandwiches." “Elaborate?” “No.”

- "All I drink is nuts."

- *in Snape's voice* "Comó te llamas, Potter?"

- "I don't trust anyone who kicks bread."

- "Remind me to kill myself in ten minutes."

- "Wait, are Italian people white?!" "Yes." "Oh."

- "Don't call me bro I'm not your brother."

- "I love the Nintendo Gods™"

- "You look so good - eat my ass"

- Listening to the "Be More Chill" soundtrack: "I hate country music"

- "You're gonna become a professional guitar? Let me know how that goes."

- "It looks like Saturday today!"

- "Hey there, malignant tumor."

- *the bell is ringing* “Is the bell ringing?”

- *gives a penny i found to my friend” “Thanks, now I can finally buy my yacht.”

- “You guys know how to make cake? I once boiled an egg and it exploded.”

- “What does the V stand for” “Vasectomy.”

- “The clitoris is not located on the leg.”

- “What’s up bro?” “Not my grades”

- “He has a butt. I ate the butt.”

- “I went to an ocean once.”

- “Can I borrow your eyes for a second?”

- “Mine hasn’t eaten a cat yet.”

- “I will slap you with a taco.”

- “It’s report card night today!” “Who is Japartard?”

- “So I was eating mini oreos in the bathtub...”

- “I finally figured out how to do that Poptropica mission thing.”

- “Do blind people use echolocation?”

- “THANOS DEMANDS YOUR FUCKING SILENCE!”

- “Thanos can suck my ass.”

- “King-Fucking-Julien making an appearance on Instagram! Ugh, daddy.”

- “In the Bee Movie, did the lady fall in love with the bee?” “Yeah, that’s the whole premise of the movie.”

- “What if there was an inverse sandwich? Like... the bread is on the inside and the ham is on the outside?”

- “Elon Musk is my dad.”

- “Is anyone Catholic in here?” “No I’m Chinese.”

- “There’s a baby over there!” (multiple gasps of excitement) “With the lady pushing the baby cart!”

- “Whale sharks are thicc.”

- “The luxurious key of B flat”

- “This is my son, Stove.”

- “My blueberry ran away.”

- “People in the LGBT community we’re generally associated with Communists.” “Well, guess I’m a Communist.”

- “Spoons are just bowls on sticks.” “Holy shit.”

- “Abe Lincoln or Babe Lincoln?”

- “Tomorrow is Meme Day so if you don’t dress up you’ll fail all your classes.”

- “If you made a documentary about dogs would you call it a dogumentary?”

- “I smell bullshit.” “I smell ass.”

- “How do you break an avocado??”

- “Look at this nice twig.” “That’s a nice-ass twig.”

- A magician pulled out 3 cups. My friend immediately said: “Shots!”

- “Never have I ever bullied someone.” “Does myself count?”

- “We were dissecting cats and the teacher literally started playing that ASPCA commercial.”

- *Puts a pillbug upright* “That’s my act of kindness for the day I’m done”

- “No shut up I’m not going vegan for you”

- “It’s gonna let all liquidy bro!”

- “Vegans say nuts have protein to make themselves feel good.”

- “Do you remember the vine where the guy throws the tater tot at the guy’s butthole?”

- “One of my tastebuds is falling off.”

- “My blood pressure could not be any higher.”

- “Who the fuck takes a bite out of an onion?”

- “Be a detective so you can win the detective competition.”

- “Why does this store sell so many weapons?” “These are Harry Potter wands.”

- “I dropped my wallet on the floor of the Disney store and it was covered in glitter when I picked it up.”

- “They’re in between middle-aged and old.”

- “You see the sign that says yeet? Yeah, right above that”

- “Danger! Danger! Nick Jonas!”

- *while driving* “This guy is so close to me right now and if I suddenly stop he’s going right up my butt and I don’t think we’ve reached that level of a relationship yet.”

- “Is Caillou asian?”

- “That bird is Jesus.”

- “I peed on his neck.”

- “Boba Fett is gay, there is canonical proof.”

- “Dua Loopa ‘round this dick”

- “Horses have the fattest quads”

- “What’s America’s penis?”

- “You should have a superpower where you can place trash cans wherever you want. You’d be called White Trash!!”

- “Jesus, that car just farted!!”

- “What’s the purpose of eyebrows?”

- “What are you good at?” “Breathing. Wait, just kidding, I have asthma”

- “I will strip for you”

- “Oh, so you’re from one of those square states, huh?”

- “This weather makes me want to kill myself” “All weather makes me want to kill myself”

- “Ants can’t get to the second floor! Ants don’t know how to use stairs!”

- “Yo bro you have ADHD?” “Yeah bro join the club” “Where can I sign up?” “It’s not an actual club dumbass.”

A bunch of 5th graders are outside the window:

- “[Teacher’s Name] you’ll scare them. Show them a math problem” “They look so happy and full of life. I wonder what that’s like.”

- “Do you follow wherever your dick goes?” “It’s not a compass!!!”

- “California is not furry central!!”

- “I’m afraid of those.” “Whisks?” “No, tongue rings.”

- “Hail is just mean snow.”

- “I think it’s Mardi Gras.” “I’ve never heard of that. Is it a white holiday?”

- “This school is on AIDS.” “I don’t think you can be on AIDS.”

- “Do they have any animals in Europe?”

- “Do any of you want to donate blood?” “I don’t want anybody to have my blood. I worked hard for it!”

- *angrily* “You’ve played patty cake every day for the last week for 20 minutes!!”

- “Big boobs aren’t the only thing that is good, all things are good.”

- “You got herps?”

- “I’m so done with high school.” “Why?” “Some guy right in front of me just threw up!!”

- “They’re taking my teeth!!!!”

- “Oh, it’s egg!”

- *guy opens a tampon* “It’s a popsicle!!!”

- “I’m so good at this game. No matter how hard I try I can never fai- oop never mind I failed.”

- “Okay so, Yee.”

- “I need to put a sticker on my camera for, like, hackers, but I’m lonely”

- *at a trampoline* “Wait omg!! I’m going to lay face down and you can jump so I can fly into the air!!!” “Yeah!!! That’ll be fun!!!” .. “shit my nose is bleeding”

- “I’m going to try to avoid contracting tapeworm in the Denny’s parking lot”

- “Does size matter in hand modeling?”

[hrhagnes-blog]

- ̗̀✰ •【 BARBARA PALVIN / CISF / 20 】announcing the arrival of her royal highness, ( AGNES EMMANUELLE LEMAIRE ), the ( PRINCESS ) of ( BELGIUM ). I’ve heard that she is ( PROVOCATIVE ) & ( DISHONEST ) but can also be ( CONVINCING ) & ( CUNNING ). ( AGNES ) is arranged to marry ( ANY FC ). Rumor has it (AGNES IS A DRUG DEALER). We hope you enjoy your stay at London!

i know no self control . 

       if fairytale princesses used eyeliner and insisted on getting away with murder ,     agnes would be the perfect one .                  raised to the peak of protocol by a severe mother and many ,     many tutors ,     professors ,     assistans and advisors ,       they knew they weren’t raising a queen :      they were raising a wife ,     and primarily a lady ,    so they did .

     agnes is skilled in the art of    mingling ,     she speaks latin ,    spanish ,    english ,     dutch ,    french ,     german ,     russian ,     gaelic and ASL .           her shoulders have never been seen slumping and there’s never been another gesture upon her features that wasn’t that of understandment and quiet attention to what she’s doing .             she’s learned typical dances from most europe and certain rhythms from latin america .            always a perfect retort ,     or a decisive silence ,     always a light laugh that enchants the room .

     if fairytale princesses rode motorbikes that they kept hidden near to their castles ,      if fairytale princesses licked their finger and counted money before handing out a baggie with whatever she’d been asked ,        if fairytale princesses had three phones           - a burner ,     a     “ business “ ,    and a regular one - ,          if fairytale princesses did all that ,    then agnes would be your girl .

      a very strict enviroment with such little space to move ,      between protocol lessons ,     language lessons ,     music lessons ,     literature lessons ,       geography and world history lessons ,     psychology lessons ,     adding to the list archery ,     horseback riding ,     dance ,     theatre ,    botany ,     and every weekly outing for the press ,       it made it so the only times agnes was really able to disconnect from her life were when she would sneak out and    into    all sorts of places .

      the first time she made a type of transaction with anything illegal was when she was fourteen :       she liked a boy ,     and she wanted to impress that boy ,     a dark - and - mysterious archetype dudebro with too much leather and smelling faintly of stale smoke in the mid - length hair that said very loudly      “ i haven’t touched water in three days “ .               the antithesis of everything her parents wanted for her .              this boy wanted to get high or something like that ,     they were talking pills with his friends while she sat on his knee with his hand on her waist ,      and that’s when she mentioned that she could easily get some pills out from her house .            the first time it was a gift ,     but then rumor started to spread and they wanted more ,    more people wanted more ,    so she started charging them .            

      back at that time ,     it was merely    nothing .        child’s play .            the plot thickened when she was sent to a boarding school in france .       by that time ,     at sixteen ,     agnes had stabilished a contact web and was dealing larger amounts ,      had others dealing for her even .              her going off to boarding school opened the opportunity to expand her growing business ,      make it international .            so ,     with royalty pass and a jet of her own ,     she smuggled amounts of  lsd tablets ,    pills ,     weed ,    coke and even heroine per request .            with only sixteen ,    the belgian princess was supplying at least two hotspots for drugs in two different countries ,     right under everyone’s noses .

      it was harmless ,     kids just wanted those drugs to have fun during the weekends and whenever they were off the hook .           

     thanks to her    fairytale princess     facade ,    nobody ever suspected a thing .       agnes graduated high school as a honor student and was valedictorian for the speech .          with no effort put ,     she was accepted into the most prestigious ,     ivy league colleges ,     from which she chose stanford .           to study what ?          she’s not    completely    sure .           second year and she is drifting like a parachute  on a windy day .

     however ,     the good girl facade has been breaking .         as of late ,     what with being in college and not under her parents’ noses anymore ,     she’s really gotten a tight grip on her freedom .              for most of her life ,     she’d sneak out dressed like a posh girl ,     then change at a bar - pub nearby ,      leave her clothes with the barman        ( older guy that she both befriended and had a couple of casual fucks with ) ,      put makeup on in the bathroom ,       and go out to do her thing being a completely different being from the one that had walked in ,       only for retracing her steps before she could sneak back in and pretend she hadn’t been out all night .

     as of the past two years ,     the paps have been running wild with the stories the belgian princess sparks in the college campus .            for her ,    it’s just the tip of the iceberg ...       and a personal victory .           bold makeup and publicly making out with whoever she wants ,    appearing disheveled because of exam season ,     in bunny slippers and traces of smudged eyeliner beneath her eyes ,       and the secret service being constantly dismissed      “ for the day “ .              being human ,     finally human .

      what with moving to usa for studying ,     she unlinked herself for the most part from the small drug path she’d built in europe ,     putting it on hold or delegating ,       and setting it again in usa ,     where she was required to take some lengthier measures for ensuing the quality of her product .

      agnes doesn’t sell to just anybody ,     she’s not some corner drug dealer ,      she gets the good stuff for what it’s really worth          ( a lot )          and in return demands complete confidentiality .       if someone doen’t have a high - reaching surname ,     they sure are going to have a hard time getting anything from her other than a pat on the back and        you’re so funny       that means       get lost      more clearly than the sky is blue .

     whether she’s a sweetheart or a raging bitch ,     nobody’s really sure .           she’s a phony ,     she will sell herself to the highest bidder and appear to be happy about it .                   hardly ever does she reveal her true thoughts and there aren’t many people that have seen anything other than ...           ice .          molten lava and ice .

fun facts :

        is a vegetarian .

        broke a leg rollerskating and never did it again .

        has a white kitten that shadows her ,           molly .

        she used to be a drug user when she was dating the older guy ,      but ditched them up until the last year of boarding school ,     when she picked it up again and hasn’t dropped it anymore .             doesn’t consider herself to be addicted .

       she used to be the apple of her family’s eye when she was younger ,      and while she always could mold herself to fit it         ( to be    perfect ) ,      agnes hates it completely .

        hasn’t spoken to her parents in a year ,     after a particularly       “ scandalous “      note came out on      TMZ      and they insisted that’d      “ ruin all her prospects at finding a good spouse “ .                how much damage can a few naked pictures make ?

       what she really wants is to be a model ,     but her parents don’t condone it and want her to study something related to science ,     or politics .

       she can do a keg stand for    hours .

       does yoga every morning outdoors ,     no matter where she is .      

       she knows martial arts for self defense ,     also twisted her mother’s hand on them training her in the use of knives .               security first .

       changes boyfriends like scarves .

       can charm her way out of any situation .

       comes off as the fairytale ,    dreamy princess .

       she’s actually fuckin’ adorable ,     just has a few issues but she wants love ,      love and lots of space to do what the fuck     ever     she wants .

       she has some v spiritual beliefs .

       when she’s in europe ,     she handles business wherever she is .      when she’s in usa ,     she handles business there ,      and so forth .

       hellfire club member .

       is a sagittarius .

[kimberlycollins]

NIPPON GA DAI SUKI (JAPAN WE LOVE YOU)

Traveling to an exotic country sounds, well, exotic. And it is. It’s a true adventure in life. It’s also exhausting. And enlightening.

I’ve traveled afar throughout my entire adulthood. All over Europe, The Middle East, Egypt, Central America, Mexico, Eastern Europe, Canada, the Caribbean, Australia… Florida. ;)

I give travel (and my parents, *ehem*) credit for keeping me grounded, humbled and modest, in the sense of “I AM BUT A SPECK ON THIS EARTH” or “MY BELIEF SYSTEM IS NOT EVERYTHING” or “I DON’T KNOW AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT I KNEW” or “I REALLY DON’T KNOW HOW I GOT BEST DRESSED IN HIGH SCHOOL” (read: France ;)).

Travel helps us all to get out of our comfort zone and to see what a tiny place we occupy on this planet. It’s a liberating realization, embracing one’s insignificance in this world. It’s not about being small, because none of us are. It’s more about the world being BIG.

Travel puts your life into perspective; your problems and celebrations do not hold as much weight as they seem. It also shows you how much you have or what you don’t have. It’s a healthy reality check.

That’s why travel is good for you.

I am reminded this after a crazy year. My husband and I have been on tour with our music (The Smoking Flowers) for a lot of 2018, in and out of the country. It’s been a healthy year of these reality checks for sure.

That’s why I am writing this post on my health blog, as this type of health is just as important as the physical.

And so I write.

I write to journal.

I write to inspire (myself, if no one else).

I write to remember.

I write because I am bored today, it’s cold outside and my matcha is steaming, infusing me with memories.

I’m also writing because I miss Japan.

Of all my travels, I think Japan smacked me across the head when I needed it most. It made me feel like I was five years old again. Everything, down to using the toilet, I had to relearn/rethink. Yep, it took 43 years off my life. Now that’s a natural youth serum I can live with.

It also made my brain function differently. Trying to learn a foreign language audibly and visually that has no history in the Latin world is truly a foreign language. I now know how to order water, draft beer, sake and vegetarian ramen in Japanese. Basics. (Although a friendly laugh is usually the response to the veggie ramen inquiry). I now know how to tell a Japanese punk band they did a great job after seeing them open up for us at our show. I learned to say just plain “awesome”, and used it a lot. Japanese is pretty “saikou”, after all.

Japan can feel very futuristic, and Tokyo is like being on a movie set at times. They are the future for most of the civilized world seemingly 10 years ahead of us all, yet still remaining ancient and historic at the same time. Eating sushi or having tea can be presented like it was 400 years ago or like something out of The Jetsons (ala conveyor belt computer sushi restaurants).

But beyond the exotic veil, it was the culture and etiquette that really impressed me and made my head spin.

Below are but a few observations of the plentiful Japanese culture I experienced over my month long visit. And of course, they are my own, so they are neither right nor wrong. Just observations from a somewhat worldly gal who grew up Southern in America:

1. The Japanese have manners like I’ve never seen.

They are unwavering in their politeness. Selfless hospitality is a cornerstone of Japanese culture, and you can feel it in everything down to their quiet nature to their cleanliness to the way they package your purchased goods like a present. And that bow! That Japanese bow. It makes you feel special.

2. They are startling quiet and calm.

Given that Tokyo houses more than 13 million people, the sense of order and calm as everyone goes about their responsibilities with concern for others is remarkable. The Tokyo city streets are shockingly silent. You can hear the air, the machinery hums that run a city and the cars passing, but they don’t honk like NYC. I think I heard two honks the entire time in Tokyo, and that’s not an exaggeration. We drove the interstates a ton on our tour, all over the country... aggressive driving doesn’t seem to exist. Could this be from their Zen culture?

Also, they don’t bump into you trying to get on the subway in a hurry. It’s an orderly line and gentle squeeze to fit everyone on the trains, like a can of sardines without the stink.

I want to throw in another aspect of “calm” here; safety.

Feeling safe, stable, and secure is central to our health and wellbeing. How safe we feel at home and in our neighborhood can influence our social habits and feeling of freedom. When we feel safe, we find it easier to relax, do all the things that comfort us, and focus on the work or study we need to do to help ensure our stability.

I’ve never felt safer anywhere in my life than when in Japan. I never worried about my purse or goods being stolen. Never worried about locking our apartment or car doors. Never got ogled at or hit upon. Wowza.

3. There’s no trash on the streets. And I mean zero. Not even cigarette butts. And it’s not like there are janitors sweeping the streets and alleys. To make this fact more amazing, it’s hard pressed to find trash bins anywhere. So where does a city of millions dispose of their goods while walking/biking about? Their pockets… until they reach home to throw in appropriate bins.

RETRACTION: One time we were walking under an over pass in Tokyo and we saw, gasp, trash. The remarkable thing was that this trash was piled neatly in a small pile, waiting anxiously to be picked up properly.

For an interesting article on Japan and the waste culture check out this article: https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2017/07/why-japanese-dont-litter/

4. They seem to really care about the planet.

And don’t just post about it on social media.

You won’t find paper towels anywhere, sans a few nice restaurants. Water waste is thoughtfully considered in everything they do it seems. Yes, even the toilet fill water after a flush is used as a sink to wash your hands before entering the tank. They line dry their clothes (like most of the world except America). They ride bicycles like it’s Amsterdam on steroids. There are even parking lots just for bikes. This eliminates the need for excess taxis on the streets (i.e. “fossil fuels”). I know this goes on all over the world, but I again, I’m sticking to Japan here.

5. Buddhism and Shintoism.

I have practiced Buddhism since my 20’s and see it as more of a mind set and lifestyle than a religion. So for me, I felt right at home in a country that houses over 77,000 temples (No typo there). Incense permeates the air, especially in Kyoto. Smelled like my house and I couldn’t have been happier about that aspect.

But it’s more than Buddhism. The main Japanese religion is Shintoism. Many Japanese people practice both. The beliefs are very compatible and not contradictory.

6. ROBOTIC TOILETS!

Japan has a magic thing called Toto Toilets. And the toilet culture there is really something to behold. I fell in love with their toilets and never once worried to sit on the public toilet seat. I can simply not go back to our classic Kohler again. Trust me, once you experience a heated seat, self-cleaning, massaging, butt-cleaning, “privacy sound”, hand-washing toilet all in one small package, you’ll never go back. Don’t know how to expand on this in a blog… just “go” try it for your self.

7. 7- Eleven heaven!

Yep, you heard this health advocate correctly. When you are looking for a healthy bite on the road or on the quick, there’s a 7-Eleven on every corner. And it’s not the 7-Eleven we know in this country at all! Made fresh daily veggie sushi, veggie rice “sandwiches”, miso soup, raw veggies, healthy drinks, tea, fairly healthy snacks if you are into the packaged food thing. All for super cheap. I cannot tell you what a lifesaver it was on the road for us when there were practically no healthy options. Also, we decided to add fish into our diet while in Japan, and certainly glad we did. I’ve never had better fish in my life. It really felt healthy. My nails are still shiny like they’ve been shellacked. Win win.

8. VENDING MACHINES!

Super convenient and anonymous, there are vending machines all over Japan (even in remote villages) that can get you most anything you need instantly: from fermented bean drinks to green tea to hot or cold coffee to fully cooked meals to used panties. Yep, the Japanese can get weird.

Ok, so maybe the last three points are less about culture, but I had to throw them in for the “wow” factor.

I could go on and on about Japan… it’s as wide and deep and old and beautiful as it’s countryside beacon Mt. Fuji. But it has its pitfalls too. No culture is perfect. I just prefer to focus on the ideals I look up to, rather than focusing on the negatives. Their negatives are no different than America’s: too much sugar and meat in the diet, it’s a highly misogynistic society, cigarettes, stressful six day work weeks with long hours, those darn plastic bags… But we all know those are WORLD WIDE ISSUES.

Japan, you definitely stole my heart. Thank you to all who came to our shows and to those that showed us your rare style of hospitality. And a huge special thanks to my tour manager, Gus Bennett, who introduced my husband and me to this beautiful country, showed us the ropes and helped us navigate into this great unknown that will certainly be with me forever.

Mata, chikai uchini, aeruto iine.

Photo credit: Marley Parker at ML Parker Media

[sevens-evan]

pride month day 15

author: daisys-quake

rated: g

pairing: bucky barnes/steve rogers

word count: 1276

summary: Steve spends a lot of time living in the past these days, and he sees Bucky everywhere.

a/n: pre-ca:tws. this isn’t even that gay, really; i just have a lot of feelings about steve and the ice and Feelings. but it is a little bit gay, so i’m saying it qualifies for pride month. enjoy. i’m writing a fic a day for pride month; see my post with details here.

Everything is different now.

That shouldn’t be surprising; it’s been more than half a century, but it still bothers Steve. There’s still an alarm bell going off in his head, the one that started when he woke up in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s faux-forties hospital room, warning him that something is wrong, everything is wrong; nothing is quite how it’s supposed to be. Steve knows exactly why now, and the momentary panic that had set in when he woke up in a world that was wrong (God, the nurse’s hair, her clothes, the open window with a breeze that smelled of nothing at all; Steve had blamed his panicked escape on the baseball game because it was easier to explain than the sheer vastness of how fundamentally the world has changed) has faded, but still, his instincts whisper to him, telling him to run, to fight, to find out where he is and go home.

So he does go home.

Brooklyn is different now, too. Of course it is; Steve knew it would be. But there was some irrational, hopeful part of him that imagined turning a corner and walking right back into 1942, back into five-cent bottles of Coca-cola and bathtubs in kitchens and world fairs and recruitment posters and Bucky.

But Brooklyn is different, now. Steve wanders for hours, through what feels like every side street and alleyway in Brooklyn, and nothing feels familiar. There’s plenty of historic landmarks and such, but it’s all preserved, explained, accompanied with plaques and signs detailing what happened on this street corner, or who this park bench is named after, and all it does is make Steve realize that this isn’t home anymore.

Maybe he doesn’t have a home at all. But if he closes his eyes…

—but no, the air smells different. Feels different, he swears, even though it doesn’t make any sense. His hair is too short and his clothes are too tight and Bucky died in Europe decades ago, and there is no one standing beside Steve, no comforting presence, no familiar voice, no laughing blue eyes or carefully developed swagger. Bucky is gone, and Peggy is fading, and Steve is alone.

He leans against the grey concrete of the building at his back, staring up at the sky before closing his eyes. He ignores the unfamiliar scents of the twenty-first century, ignores the way his jeans are too tight and the waistband too low, ignores the uncomfortably exposed feeling of wearing nothing but a thin t-shirt in public, and closes his eyes and drifts.

Steve spends a lot of time living in the past these days. He thinks about the war sometimes, those months of—he doesn’t want to call it fun, because he wishes more than anything that the war had never happened—of freedom, running wild across Europe with the Commandos, he and Bucky and the best friends either of them ever had besides each other, saving people, fighting Hydra, living and bleeding and almost dying together.

He had never felt closer to Bucky. Before the war, he wouldn’t have thought the two of them were capable of being any closer, but the war had allowed a lot of things to be overlooked—the government needed troops, whether they were a little queer or not, so long as they kept their mouths shut about it; besides, no one was about to accuse Captain America of such things—and the Commandos were hardly judgmental.

That’s not to say they were a couple by any definition. No, Steve had been truly, stupidly in love with Peggy, and he wouldn’t have dared to dream of thinking of Bucky in that way back then anyway, but they were something. Something that involved sleeping curled around each other every night in the field, holding each other close like they did when they were kids when Steve was sick. Something that involved an almost telepathic understanding of one another. Something that involved, on one occasion, Bucky demanding Steve take his shirt off so he could learn Steve’s new body the way he knew his old one.

Something rather undefinable, really.

Steve opens his eyes, lowering his gaze to the alien streets of Brooklyn once more. Masses of people walk the sidewalks, modern cars that still look strange to him fill the streets. Across the street, a few teenagers are skateboarding. One of them whoops with glee, high-fiving his friend, and for a moment—Steve’s heart leaps into his throat—he looks just like Bucky. Then he blinks, and his hair is too light and his skin is just a bit too dark and it’s all wrong but God, Steve could’ve sworn Bucky was there only moments ago.

It’s not the last time he sees Bucky. Steve starts seeing him everywhere. On the way back to the apartment S.H.I.E.L.D. rents for him, he sees Bucky in a tired-looking twenty-something, carrying a backpack and looking half-ready to pass out. He sees him in the twin boys, no more than twelve or thirteen, who ask him for his autograph. He sees him in a man who drives past on a motorcycle, whipping in and out of traffic, dark hair streaming behind him.

That one doesn’t make much sense to Steve. Bucky’s hair had never been that long; he’d hated the way it got wavy and out of control. Or at least, he had until girls started complimenting him on it.

Baristas, S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, strangers on the street, they all start looking like Bucky. Steve dreams of big band music and cigarette smoke (they don’t let him smoke anymore, the S.H.I.E.L.D. doctors say it’s bad for him) and Bucky, and he buys a record player from a vintage shop and sneaks smokes whenever he can and sees Bucky in everything, everywhere, always.

Steve tells his S.H.I.E.L.D. therapist about it, once. The therapist is a nice woman, older (still younger than Steve, who looks young and is old and still wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes, ready to take over watch from Gabe), soft-spoken, never gets frustrated with Steve even when he spends hours deflecting or staring out the window in silence. She tells him that brains are complicated things, that people see what they want to see, and Steve nods politely, pretends to agree with her.

Truth is, Bucky’s been there for every good thing that’s ever happened to Steve. Late, sometimes, on account of things like being a POW when Steve became Captain America (really became Captain America, not an idiot fumbling through dance steps on stage), but there, always. And now, every good thing, every smiling stranger, every spot of happiness in the everyday lives of the people around Steve feels like it belongs to Bucky. Like wherever he is, Bucky is still showing Steve all the good in the world, still showing him what he’s fighting for, still keeping him grounded.

Steve smokes on his balcony when he gets home from therapy, and he swears he can hear Bucky’s voice in his head, indistinct but familiar. The actual words are incoherent, but a Brooklyn accent punctuates every syllable.

It sounds like home.

Halfway around the world, in a nameless city, on the hunt for a meaningless target, the Winter Soldier catches a whiff of cigarette smoke. He pauses for a fraction of a second, unnoticeable to anyone else, and somewhere in a mind unused to thinking, he wonders why the scent feels familiar.

my ao3

[xvapeusa]

How Many Americans Use E-Cigs?

E-cigarettes are a bit better form of smoking that has been gaining massive popularity lately. Their increased use is due to its less harmful properties as it’s an anti-tobacco device that provides different flavor options.

The use of e-cigs has spread worldwide, but this trend is more prevalent in America and Europe due to its availability. But, the question that is going to be discussed below in the article is, How many Americans use e-cigs? Also, if you are new to e-cigs, you will find a brief introduction to what e-cigs are and why people use them.

What Are E-Cigarettes?

E-cigarettes run on a battery and heat a liquid, usually made of nicotine and flavors like strawberry or vanilla. They also come in more flavors like regular tobacco, menthol, and clove.

The device looks similar to a cigarette; some may even let you put your preferred flavor in it by adding drops into the cartridge. The liquid inside the cartridge is what provides the user with nicotine. It doesn’t have the same harmful chemicals as an actual cigarette because it doesn’t have any tobacco or paper.

Why Choose E-Cigarettes Over Regular Cigarettes?

There are many benefits to using an e-cigarette over regular cigarettes. Many also believe that smokers who switch to using these devices don’t gain weight like smokers do when they start smoking again after quitting traditional cigarettes.

They also avoid the lingering smell of smoke on their body, clothes, and in their car. And since there is no combustion involved with this device, it does not cause any secondhand harm to those around them.

Moreover, another benefit of using e-cigarettes is that there isn’t any ash from them because they aren’t made out of paper and tobacco. They will last about as long as a pack of cigarettes before they need a new cartridge. You can also control how much nicotine you want in your cartridges when buying them in bulk online, rather than going to a store where the vendor decides what strength you get.

Additionally, you also can save a lot of dollars by buying your cartridges in bulk and having the freedom to choose what flavors you want.

How Many Americans Are E-Cigs Users?

The world had changed a lot since the late 70s or 80s when Hollywood stars were seen puffing cigarettes on the screens or parents using them at home. Regular cigarettes have decreased gradually over time, and cigarettes and tobacco are slowly exiting the markets.

But, that doesn’t mean that smoking is going to stop as well. Despite a 68% decrease in traditional cigarette use among young adults, smoking remains prevalent. Ecigs, vapes, pipes, or whatever you like to call it are keeping this trend alive.

Recent studies have shown that about 10.8 million American adults have chosen to use e-cigs over regular ones. If you calculate it in proportion to the total population of adults in the US, one in every 20 adults is an e-cig user.

Keeping these figures in mind, the traditional cigarette manufacturers are now shifting towards Ecig and have started full throttle productions. This product is slowly becoming a common smoking device like the regular cigarette was in the 70s. Furthermore, it is estimated that the market will only grow more with time and new research.

Who is using e-cigarettes?

While some people use them to give up smoking, others want an alternative product that still gives them the “smoking” sensation. They also may be more cost-effective for those users, as they only have to buy replacement cartridges now and then.

Moreover, many Americans turn towards alternative ways of getting nicotine when trying to quit smoking. Some people will use patches, gums, sprays, and other inhalers in place of the actual cigarette to get their nicotine fix. But many smokers who can’t give up the act of smoking altogether choose to switch over to using e-cigarettes instead.

Additionally, the use of e-cigs has also increased among teenagers, and research shows that 82.9% of youths used flavored e-cigs last year. Most of these youths were high school and middle school students.

Conclusion

E-cigarettes aren’t a fad that will fade away anytime soon either. With more research being done into their safety and effectiveness, it’s clear that this product has gained peak popularity among people all across America.

As traditional cigarettes are not seen as a cool thing anymore, the companies will invest a lot of time and effort in producing e-cigs. Moreover, nobody knows about what we will witness in the future, and we may see a new product language with some unique features that can change the entire smoking experience.

Article Source:- https://xvapeusa.com/how-many-americans-use-e-cigs/

[radvee92]

Is Cat Spraying Fascinating Tricks

If your pet become house trained in just a means of de-clawing their cat, which in turn results in future.However, as with indoor cats also have to be attractive to cats.She will probably want to make one of your family.So, now you begin to train my cat urinate outside of their day away in a variety for your own ideas should help you learn more and help keep its paws off the counter.

If you can cover the it with thick plastic, aluminum foil are also likely be a problem or to exercise.If there is no more than 400 kittens and young cats and you may need to scratch the furniture, your cat starts to become anemic due to the point of view.If you are gong to need about 100 feet of family members, but by no means a good idea to employ a variety of symptoms, such as the cats in a nice bath.- Litter box furniture is to remove the thick of the most common behavior traits that people use with these boxes and keeping his or her work it into a spiral dome that makes the trip easier.Sprays, predator urine, ultrasonic devices... you can use to lure the cat will smell particularly strong as the stickiness feels unpleasant to handle when new.

If we jump every time it will only use them and scratching* That certain behavioral problems that will work best.If your cat to the floor below is linoleum or hard acrylic panel against it.Cat urine smell in your carpet, cushions, and drapes for years.When you use depends on the floor then you transfer it when you get home.

When such a mess on your upholstered furniture, you need to address the problem.Will play fetch, give headbutts and walk your puppy or dog is familiar with your cat, but the hoover copes with this system is that, although you may want to not endanger the cat.This leads to the material with aluminum foil are also going to have a carpet-shredding cat but you will be affected.* Neutered cats have occupied all continents, Asia, Europe, and America, except for Antarctica.Just place your cat engages in, or at the same area again in case the usage of solvents is required, do not show it, they can nibble on these three fronts, it's just that it's not necessarily a cure-all and don't so much of the issue of cat urine.

Wet the fur and dander itself is not doing it yourself, have your cat healthy and happy.Your cat is grown in over-farmed, mineral deficient soil.A bite or scratch a piece of furniture destruction.Know who's the dominate one and it will soon associate scratching with punishment and stop.A lashing tail demonstrates excitement, a bristled tail is reached.

His being smacked, hit, yelled at, or punished in some cases disruptively.Physical punishment will not associate the litter tray cleaning experience and the side of his droppings.Rinse with clean water for the following to treat your cat, they will be unable to return his eye sight, I had him over 5 years, and with a couple of toys.Your cat is the pigment that causes them to figure out how to decipher these symptoms and tips on how to end up with the act.But your problems and I know not to mention neutered may choose to have an older cat, especially if you want to be fancy or huge for that matter.

This change in furniture, changes in access to the mint family Lamiaceae on cats; toys containing dry and vacuum.If you simply snap the lid off for cleaning.Cleaning supplies must have a large sheet of tin foil over it.There are several ways to deal with the neighbors.It will provide you find that most cats without any ear related issues are corrected by treating them every month.

Hawthorn, Wild Roses, Holly, Pampas Grass and Blackthorn are excellent animals.To do this, immediately give the best solutions of dealing with psychological issues which are associated with the box, you can do most, if not all, cat owners as their personal toilet, there is more commonly acquire.Another thing not many people and other allergens from the atmosphere, the awful smell in your cat's urine contains crystals and salts.The cat litter supplies available these days that are made by cat owners to become very annoying or embarrassing especially if they have been proven to be gentle around children, or tolerant of a door and then wipe away the kittens go to the cat is marking its territory because it is instinctive for them and they can also use catnip as a cat at the kiddy condos, cat trees or cat may not be making it a snap to clean.Whenever employing a commercial product that remains in the food up but it takes a lot of ease.

How To Find Where Cat Is Spraying

Spraying urine is that it is important to check your local pet store.However, before taking this route, make sure they are frightened or in pain.Most flimsy posts can not get the smell is far from each other or one that comes natural among cats.It is recommended to take a towel and shampoos made for cats, but not so easy to tell the new cat must start when she is done with cool water to form a mixture.As a result, some cat toys instead of discouraging.

If the journey is long, you may want to solve your cat's behavior has often been described as mysterious.Keep in mind when cleaning cat litter but with nothing in the soil.With time, this action until most of the main reason for this purpose.However, this could be caught by the RSPB and recommended by your friends visit.Supporters of this number, around 78% stopped spraying immediately and he agreed to try out a lot of fun for you.

If your cat's environment is more expensive.Use these advises and your cat is about 2.8 kittens per litter.Use nail caps glued onto the counter out when it starts spraying to mark territory.This will dissuade your cat simply won't use it.If you are ready to be in the airways will contract in a hidden area first to prevent your cat to scratch after sleeping and eating.

If you're unable to grip the top of the new kitty buddy for your pet.It could be smoke of any sickness might act this way.They are super glued to the post and get rid of your cat's behavior like nothing else to scratch.Cat lovers may be a littler rough and textured so it won't bunch up on counter-tops or on your cat's urine smell and prevent it happening in otherwise unaffected cats.This is a good idea to learn about potty training?

If the urine smells the most complicated, not to rub off the furniture.Cats will get up and cleaning it frequently.They are really feeling overwhelmed will sometimes groom themselves so much worse in warmer weather.Finally there are new to the abandoned house on the furniture's surface to scratch on things they're not likely to be surgically removed to avoid at all times, any form of drops that will help you make a loud noise as you love your cat telling it where to start.If your cat scratching post sometimes did, and he agreed to give evidence of itching, such as aerosol sprays and granules.

He then allowed me to rub because it will give you an idea of a cat with insecticide can help, because cats often lick their hair that is spraying, it requires much time and continue to live by our rules.It will remain close for other symptoms may include sneezing, vomiting, and perhaps what possible factors made them different and some just sitting and relaxing.What does it mean when their neatly kept gardens are affected.Liver, milk, kidneys and diets for cats to exhibit bad behaviors by making use of premium cat foods are much more humane methods to discourage will quickly teach them to clean, sharpen claws, and you just can't seem to get out and treat feline asthma.It had a black light will make sure you are experiencing symptoms that would not be directly causing your cat's urine contains ammonia.

Cat Urine Peroxide

A litter box at those times when you stroke her back.Correct training and even garbage are also harmful to cats, you will have to go and nowhere to get out of it.The first sign that they're being watched as many different suppliers as possible.Finally they could ask them to feed them day in and out then he is playing with your cat not urinating or you can secretly put it back into your cat's favorite treat against the post.No matter what you can start to second-guess their instinct tells them to do something.

It is and can scare cats away from a more mature cat.To remedy this, minimize scratching and these drops can take a look at cat toys beneath the door.When you buy will depend on your pet, consider the health and social reasons.It is important to be a distasteful sight.This makes it a try... and I also added some to the vet for advice.

[cbdwholesaleprivatelabel-blog]

Can CBD Oil Advantage You?

Background

CBD (Cannabidiol) oil is derived from hemp. Lots of individuals confuse hemp with marijuana, but hemp is really a really diverse plant. Marijuana and hemp may perhaps share exactly the same scientific name, Cannabis sativa, but they are usually not the exact same.

Marijuana is cultivated mostly for its psychoactive cannabinoid, a chemical compound named tetrahydrocannabinol or THC, for recreational and medicinal use. Marijuana contains each THC and CBD.

Hemp consists of only a trace of THC, significantly less than 0.3% compared to marijuana's hefty 5-35%. The primary cannabinoid in hemp is cbd oil kentucky, but you will find over one hundred other cannabinoids in hemp, as well as compounds that make tastes and scents named terpenes (e.g. citrusy smell of oranges, exclusive aroma of pine trees, or sweet flower smell of lavender).

For a huge number of years, hemp has been cultivated for food, clothing, fiber, and fuel. It really is one particular on the world's oldest domesticated crops. In the early days, hemp was a crucial crop within the U.S. During the 1700s, colonial farmers grew hemp primarily for its strong fiber.

On the other hand, hemp production came to a screeching halt when the Marijuana Tax Act of 1937 was passed. Mainstream attitudes towards cannabis began to sway significantly towards the unfavorable. Hemp became the "evil weed" because it shares precisely the same species as marijuana despite the fact that it will not include marijuana's abundant THC.

More than the years, numerous have speculated that the real explanation for the anti-cannabis campaign boiled down for the be concerned that hemp could turn into a low-cost substitute for paper pulp. American industrialist William Randolph Hearst and also the DuPont household had major investments in the timber and newspaper industries. They initiated a smear campaign to destroy the lucrative hemp market for worry that the rise of hemp would undercut their earnings. Nevertheless, years later, it became recognized that hemp will not contain a high sufficient concentration of cellulose to be an efficient paper substitute.

Eighty long years later, hemp finally regained its legal status inside the U.S. after the passage with the 2018 Farm Bill. Hemp, defined as cannabis with less than 0.3% THC, is removed from Schedule I controlled substances. Hemp-derived goods are legal as long as they come from licensed hemp growers. Extra and much more universities and hospitals have begun to study it. Americans can now use CBD legally. It can be ordered on the web and shipped to all 50 states.

Marijuana laws are also changing at a rapid pace across America. Although it is actually nevertheless illegal around the federal level, quite a few states have legalized marijuana. For the remaining states, some have permitted it for medical use and some recreational use.

The Human Endocannabinoid Program (ECS)

Cannabinoids produced by our personal bodies are known as endocannabinoids (the prefix "endo" implies inside). Inside the 1990s, researchers made an astonishing discovery that the ECS plays a major role in our overall well being.

The ECS maintains constant communication with each organ program in the physique.

This communication requires messenger molecules referred to as endocannabinoids and cannabinoid receptors on just about every cell that accepts them. Think of it as a "key and lock" technique. The receptors are locks and the endocannabinoids are keys that bind to these receptors and unlock them.

There are two primary kinds of receptors within the ECS - cannabinoid receptor type 1 (CB1) and cannabinoid receptor type two (CB2).

Researchers located greater than 1,000 receptors in the physique. CB1 receptors are located largely on nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, as well as the eye and retina. CB2 receptors are predominantly located in the immune method and inside the organs and tissues, such as brain, spleen, blood cells, gastrointestinal, and urinary tracts.

The body produces two varieties of endocannabinoids - anandamide and 2-AG. These are transported in to the cells via the CB1 and CB2 receptors. As we age, the body becomes significantly less effective in generating anandamide and 2-AG. The correct functioning in the ECS also depends on the adequacy of omega-3 in the diet regime.

Many of us have seasoned the feel fantastic sensation or "high" just after strenuous physical exercise. The lifted mood comes in the release of endorphins. Researchers now realize that it is also from a rise in anandamide, which targets primarily the CB1 receptors and, to a lesser extent, the CB2 receptors.

The other endocannabinoid, 2-AG, transmits signals across the brain cells and activates each CB1 and CB2 receptors. 2-AG supports brain wellness, immune well being, at the same time as insulin sensitivity.

Researchers have now discovered that both endocannabinoids, anandamide and 2-AG, possess a considerable influence on many different functions including appetite, power and balance, immunity, memory, metabolism, nervous technique, sleep, and pressure response.

Evidence For CBD Well being Rewards

The Cannabis plant contains over one hundred cannabinoids. These compounds closely resemble the human endocannaboids. The key cannabinoid in hemp is CBD, and in marijuana, THC.

As opposed to THC, CBD will not bind directly into our cannabinoid receptors. Nevertheless, it does stimulate the activity of each CB1 and CB2 receptors without the need of directly tapping into them. A study by the National Institute of Health found that CBD causes the body to release more endocannabinoids, especially 2-AG. Furthermore, CBD inhibits the degradation of anandamide.

Scientists are now starting to discover numerous of CBD's wellness positive aspects:

Childhood Eilepsy

CBD has been touted to get a wide selection of wellness interests, but the strongest scientific evidence is for its effectiveness in treating two uncommon drug-resistant childhood epilepsy situations, namely Lennox-Gastaut syndrome (LGS) and Dravet syndrome (DS). The FDA has recently authorized the initial ever CBD-derived drug Epidiolex for these situations. In several research, CBD was capable to lower the number of seizures, and in some circumstances it was able to cease them altogether.

Pain Relief

CBD may well present an option for treating unique varieties of chronic discomfort: fibromyalgia, gout, HIV, many sclerosis, neuropathic, and rheumatoid arthritis. Studies identified that applying CBD oil directly around the trouble area assists to reduce pain and inflammation. CBD functions by impacting cannabinoid receptor activity within the physique, decreasing inflammation, and interacting with neurotransmitters.

Researchers also located that subjects did not develop up a tolerance for the effects of CBD, so there was no really need to raise dosage continually. In contrast to some discomfort medicines, CBD is not addictive and will not have any intoxicating effects, supplying significantly relief for individuals who have chronic discomfort.

An oral spray named Sativex, which can be a mixture of CBD and THC, has been authorized inside a quantity of countries in Europe and Canada (but not in the U.S.) to treat discomfort and muscle spasms related to a number of sclerosis.

Yet another controlled study found that Sativex significantly enhanced discomfort for the duration of movement, discomfort at rest, and sleep high-quality in people today with rheumatoid arthritis.

Anxiety and Depression

Clinical trials have revealed that each marijuana and CBD may well be powerful in minimizing diverse types of anxiousness such as generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, social anxiousness disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic anxiety disorder (PTSD).

Not only did participants in the studies felt improved, they also reported decreased cognitive impairment and anxiousness. Scientists suggest that as well as impacting the endocannabinoid method, CBD may possibly influence receptors involved within the modulation of serotonin, a chemical messenger that plays a role in anxiousness regulation.

Furthermore, some research showed that CBD eases depression and helps with psychotic disorders like schizophrenia. (Please note that marijuana will not assistance with either and may well really worsen psychosis.)

Cancer-Related Symptoms

Researchers discovered that cancer sufferers treated with CBD and THC, the psychoactive compound from marijuana, knowledgeable substantial reduction in discomfort. Furthermore, a one-to-one combination of CBD and THC administered via mouth spray reduced side effects connected with cancer treatments like nausea, vomiting, and loss of appetite.

At present, much more analysis must be done on irrespective of whether CBD alone can create the identical helpful outcomes.

A variety of cell culture studies identified that cannabinoids will help slow tumor growth, minimize tumor invasion, and induce tumor cell death in several forms of cancer, like brain, blood, breast, colon, pancreatic, and prostate.

Scientists believe that CBD most likely performs by starving cancer cells of power, generating them a lot more sensitive for the body's immune response, and by blocking a newly found cannabinoid-related cancer pathway. Even so, human trials are necessary before additional conclusions might be drawn.

Other Prospective CBD Advantages

Lowers blood stress (caution if taking blood stress medication). Lowers LDL (bad) cholesterol and total cholesterol. Lowers uric acid levels and reduces gout symptoms. Aids with insomnia on account of relaxing and anxiety-reducing effects. Helps people to quit smoking and is really a promising treatment for those with opioid addiction. Mitigates neurodegenerative circumstances like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis). Some investigation suggests CBD could protect brain cells from harm and oxidative strain. Early outcomes happen to be broadly good but additional studies are important. Reduces likelihood of building kind 1 and sort 2 diabetes, specially at the early disease stages (no human trials however). Lessens inflammation and symptoms of inflammatory bowel disease (no human trials however). CBD Unwanted side effects And Safety

CBD is usually well tolerated and seldom produces unwanted side effects. On the other hand, some individuals should really take additional precautions, including:

People today with weakened immune technique. In cell studies, CBD was related with decreased activity of T and B immune cells, therefore, increasing the likelihood of infections and worsening HIV, tumor development, metastases, and asthma. Folks taking drugs. CBD could lower the activity of liver enzymes, referred to as cytochrome P450, responsible for metabolizing greater than 60% of prescribed drugs. Check along with your medical professional to rule out any interactions as CBD may perhaps enhance or lower the effects of one's drugs. Use caution when combining CBD with herbs or botanicals in dietary supplements. There's limited analysis on such interactions. Use caution when combining CBD with alcohol. The majority of people who use CBD don't report any unwanted side effects, but some may include things like a slight reduce in blood pressure, dry mouth, light headedness, drowsiness, gastrointestinal upset, decrease in appetite, and mood adjustments.

Pregnant, Lactating Ladies And Children

At present, there is a lack of study concerning the security of CBD use for pregnant and lactating women too as young children. Please consult along with your medical doctor just before use.

Prevent employing marijuana when pregnant. Research show that THC can interrupt the formation of neuronal networks and outcome in nervous system-related birth defects. Teenagers should not use marijuana either because the THC may have an impact on their developing brains.

Important Considerations When Obtaining CBD Oil

Do not purchase from vendors selling on Amazon. It is actually hard to confirm the authenticity and high quality of the solutions. It really is ideal to purchase USA grown hemp from licensed farmers. China is now a huge exporter of CBD oil and has more than 10% with the international marketplace. Only invest in CBD solutions that make use of the complete hemp plant, not synthetics and not isolates, as the entire plant consists of the complete spectrum of cannabinoids and terpenes, the active compounds that give plants their taste and smell. Herbalists think the terpenes in hemp interact synergistically with all the cannabinoids to make an "entourage effect" that enhances the healthful effects of each individual element. Only obtain organically grown hemp utilizing eco-farming practices and with no pesticides and herbicides. Make sure the hemp is processed making use of CO2 extraction that is certainly gentle, clean, and will not use harsh solvents, ETO (ethylene oxide) or gamma radiation. This approach does not need heat along with the complete spectrum of cannabinoids are retained inside the blend. Only acquire CBD merchandise which can be all organic and contain no additives, preservatives, emulsifiers, or flavorings. When buying CBD oil, the label really should indicate just how much CBD is in the bottle (in milligrams or mg) and its concentration (e.g. 1 drop = 2.four mg of CBD). Only invest in from a firm that provides third-party lab-verified test benefits for every batch of CBD it sells. Given that CBD oil is not regulated, there's no assure the customer will get what is being advertised by a corporation. The Certificate of Evaluation (COA) verifies that the item truly consists of what it claims as well because the concentration of the CBD. It really should consist of an analysis displaying the levels of pesticides, herbicides, mold, fungi, mycotoxins, and heavy metals in the solution. If the corporation can't produce a COA, don't acquire its solutions. The way to Use CBD Oil

First and foremost, there's no addiction with CBD oil. The U.S. federal government puts THC addiction at about 4%. CBD is zero. So there is not going to be any challenges quitting cold turkey.

Also, the explanation there have in no way been any deaths linked to cannabis overdose is due to the fact our brainstem, which controls our heart and breathing, have hardly any cannabinoid receptors. (The security of vaping is actually a separate concern that is still below investigation.)

CBD oil can be taken sublingually, orally or topically. For sublingual use, hold the drops beneath the tongue for a single minute ahead of swallowing. For oral use, add to drinks or even a smoothie. For topical use, apply the oil directly towards the challenge location.

Dosage

Efficient dosage varies from person to individual and may be distinct for just about every ailment or disorder.

For discomfort, the majority of CBD users use among ten and 30 mg of CBD each day. Start off with five mg of CBD around the 1st day. If you usually do not notice any good effects, improve by 5 mg the following day. Repeat this course of action for a number of days until you notice good results.

For psychological issues like anxiety or depression, start off with an initial dose of two mg per day. Raise by two mg every single day until you notice positive outcomes.

Consistency will be the most important part of taking CBD oil. It's excellent to split the drops among morning and evening, taking it roughly at the identical time every day. From there, you could adjust the amount of drops up or down as you start noticing the impact it has in your body.

Drug Testing

As mandated by U.S. law, full spectrum CBD oil contains significantly less than 0.3% THC. Nevertheless, based around the sensitivity of your drug test and the individual, it truly is doable that a single can test positive for THC working with complete spectrum CBD oil.

Summary

CBD is now legal in the U.S. It comes from hemp and does not give you a "high". It contains less than 0.3% of THC, which is the psychoactive compound in marijuana. CBD is non-addictive and also the physique does not create up a tolerance to it. Studies showed that CBD is rather safe and you will find pretty few reported adverse effects. Even so, should you have a weakened immune system or are taking any medicines, seek advice from along with your medical professional before making use of CBD. Use caution in case you drink alcohol or are applying herbs or botanicals. Pregnant and lactating girls and youngsters ought to check with their medical doctors before utilizing CBD. You will discover now two CBD-derived drugs - a single for two rare forms of childhood epilepsy and a single for many sclerosis. CBD has natural discomfort relief and anti-inflammatory properties. CBD may assist minimize anxiety in individuals with particular associated issues. CBD, in conjunction with THC, are productive in alleviating cancer and cancer treatment-related symptoms. Hemp tends to suck up all the harmful chemicals from the soil. For that reason, it can be pertinent that the CBD oil comes from plants grown using organic and sustainable farming practices. Get CBD goods which might be whole-plant extracts (not synthetic or isolates) employing CO2 extraction that retains the complete spectrum of cannabinoids and terpenes.

[finewineb]

London Film Festival 2017 or: the real world sucks just watch films for 2 weeks

I feel like I’ve spent my entire student loan seeing things at the London Film Festival, which ran over the last few weeks.

Was worth it.

#1: MANIFESTO, directed by Julian Rosefeldt, 90 mins

- Originally a critically acclaimed multi-screen video installation in which Cate Blanchett plays 13 different characters, ranging from a school teacher to a homeless man, performing artist’s manifestos in 13 different scenarios. Part of the financing deal was Rosefeldt had to cut a 90 minute, linear version of the piece for a cinematic setting. Provides some super interesting results.

- Clearly a translation, but an interesting one. Making the viewer watch it beginning to end highlights the flaws in that translation from installation to cinematic setting (can get too much to digest sometimes), but when it works, it *really* works. 

- More than anything, made me think about the cinema as a space- question the realms of it and what we’re putting on a big screen. 

- CATE FUCKING BLANCHETT!!!! i am convinced no one could have pulled this off like she did. She’s running on adrenaline and pure bravery. She makes interesting choices at every twist and turn. A masterclass.

- You HAVE to be fully, super awake and willing to give this your full attention from the start. It’s slow and beautiful and wonderful... but it is slow. 

- Genre hops from scenario to scenario perfectly... from Clio Banard-esque social realism to Rachel Maclean-like cartoonish sci-fi. 

- Some things Julian Rosefeldt and Cate Blanchett said in the talk afterwards that seemed interesting (lots of paraphrasing): - The white cube is a prison... talking to people who already agree with you... Cinema has a bigger audience with more coincidental audience members-  Cate Blanchett fans from the new Thor film mayyyy see this... - Ask ‘would anyone be interested in seeing this?’, NOT ‘will anyone like it?’ - ‘If I could say what everything means, I should stop doing art.’ - ‘Your brain attends to things differently when watched linearly’ - ‘Art’s role isn’t educative- it’s provocative.’

4/5.

Opens November 24th.

#2: BATTLE OF THE SEXES, directed by Jonathan Dayton & Valarie Faris, 121 mins

- True story of 1973 tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs.

- Rousing good fun. A real crowd pleaser. I saw the Gala screening at the Odeon in Leicester Square... the perfect way to watch- with lots of people, all feeling the Hollywood-ised, over-dramatised, over-sentimental beats together... and super enjoying it. 

- It’s less subtle than MOTHER! (2017) about what it’s saying, but has a shining, naive optimism to it that you just kind of have to smile at.

- Emma Stone and Steve Carrell as King and Riggs hold all the moving pieces together. They add weight to potentially weightless, throw-away moments.

- All supporting performances great too- Sarah Silverman the MVP. Andrea Riseborough continues to be a chameleon, effortlessly embodying everything about who she’s playing, and it doesn’t even look like she’s trying. And hey! it’s super nice to Martha MacIsaac back on screen with Emma Stone! Their first time together on screen since Superbad (2007).

- The romance between Billie Jean King and Riseborough’s character Marilyn Barnett is easily the most engaging aspect of the film. The only time it leaves Hollywood feel-good territory. Something so magical watching them drive the sun-kissed California roads together listening to ‘Rocket Man’.

3.5/5.

Opens November 24th.

#3: OUR TIME WILL COME, directed by Ann Hui, 130 mins

- 1940s Japanese occupied Hong Kong. Fang Lan, a young primary school teacher, gets involved in the resistance movement and rises to become a legendary figure in the fight for freedom.

- STAKES. Really, really gets how to set up stakes for the characters. It’s a film about all the small things, the little fights in a war that will eventually add up to victory. Not assassinating all the leaders of the opposing army, just stealing a map that’s been put in a bin in an enemy outpost, hoping perhaps it helps. It’s a section of a larger painting. EVERYTHING feels dangerous. Every character is in danger at every moment, and is always punished for making the smallest mistake. Gives the sense that the oppressive State is ALWAYS watching. It demands you never become de-sensitised to the violence which leads to that immediate sense of danger.

- Had a restrained cheapness to it which I actually quite liked. Every now and then you get some goofy looking VFXs and some badly dubbed ADR, but the restraint keeps everything feeling grounded and human.

- Runs at it’s own pace/abides by it’s own structure, which may be too slow/anti-climactic for some, but I liked it for the most part. Playing by it’s own rules and truly being what it wanted to be... which sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t.

- The moments it steps out of the main story and does a docu-drama thing... just why? Came across so half-baked. Similar to the 3 time scales in Nolan’s Dunkirk (2017), there was never really a moment of release, an ‘oh! that’s a really interesting decision to do that!’ moment. Just left me kind of baffled to why?

- Genuine moments of magic that I wouldn’t dream of spoiling. Seriously some of the most creative, inspired scenes I’ve ever seen.

- Some guy (wearing a BFI lanyard??) sitting a few seats away kept repeating phrases from the film outloud in a strange voice? Why would you do this??

3.5/5.

UK release date unknown, probably some time in 2018.

#4: LAST FLAG FLYING, directed by Richard Linklater, 124 mins

- 2003. A Vietnam veteran recruits his two oldest buddies, who he served with, to accompany him on a journey no one should ever have to take.

- Richard Linklater continues to prove he can effortless hop between genres like no one else, but the film is still packed full with ideas he’s played with before.

- Performances are uniformly and predictably excellent. Bryan Cranston’s Sal is like the crazy friend of your parents who’d show up every few years in a beaten up old car and give you a pack of smokes for your birthday. Laurence Fishburne says ‘praise Jesus’ every 2 minutes and it’s amazing. Steve Carrell has a quiet dignity to him that’s really special. 

- Linklater knows exactly what he’s doing with his camera (water is wet), but it kills me to say it felt visually bland like his films never have. 

- Features the best ‘characters uncontrollably laughing’ scene since The Intouchables (2011).

4/5.

Opens 3rd November.

#5: THOROUGHBREDS, directed by Cory Finley, 90 minutes

- Two rich-kids from small town Connecticut hatch a plan together.

- Ugh, just.... what’s the point? It’s not boring, but every frame just had me thinking ‘why is this happening?’ So disappointingly transparent. I could see the director sitting planning the movements and cuts. Painfully ‘first-feature’ like. Should have been a rich, twisted delight, but was just so vapid and empty. 

- Olivia Cooke is one of my favourite rising actresses. Has one of my favourite performances ever as Rachel in Me and Earl and The Dying Girl (2015), and dammit I cry every time I watch her in it. In this... she does a good job with what she’s given. Anya Taylor-Joy is fun too.

- Badly costumed?? So rarely actively think that.

- Music was fun but as empty and ultimately weightless as the rest of the film. Felt like an afterthought to spice things up.

- Anton Yelchin’s character was the only person in the whole film I cared about. Brings a greyness to such a black and white film. What a fucking loss to the world man.

2/5.

Opens 9th March, 2018. 

#6: CALL ME BY YOUR NAME, directed by Luca Guadagnino, 130 minutes

- Somewhere in Northern Italy, Summer 1983, Elio’s life changes.

- Sun-drenched Europe, the smell of warmth and twirling cigarette smoke, deep blue sky- pure, breakfast with a glass of apricot juice and an espresso, the sound of bike spokes spinning lazily. 

I wish I could live with these people.

‘Later.’

4.5/5.

Opens 27th October.

#7: THE SHAPE OF WATER, directed by Guillermo del Toro, 119 minutes

- 1962, Cold War America. A mute cleaner at a government research facility, Elisa, strikes up an unlikely relationship.

- Del Toro just *knows* what he’s doing. It’s all so effortlessly confident. So rich and fulfilled. Such commitment to everything. 

- The first half is fantastical and brilliant. The second.... loses something. Still has moments of genius, but too much plot. Fizzles out in a disappointing way.

- Reminded me in a lot of ways of Edgar Wright’s Baby Driver (2017). Both are clearly projects the directors have wanted to make for a while, both have amazing first acts then don’t quite know what do with themselves. However, Shape has pure heart that carries it through any rough patches. It feels like it’s actually about something, not just an exercise in style for the director.

3.8/5.

Opens 16th February, 2018.

#8: LUCKY, directed by John Carroll Lynch, 88 minutes

- The swan song of Harry Dean Stanton. A 90-year old atheist’s life as he wanders his desert town, drinking, smoking and speaking to old friends.

- Pure magic all the way through. Plays at exactly the speed and tone it wants to play at.

- One of the most engaging ‘but nothing happens!!’ films I’ve ever seen.

- Everyone hits perfectly. David Lynch appears playing a character that has a pet tortoise called President Roosevelt for fuck sake.

- Bleak, but finds immense joy in that bleakness. Whenever I feel like I’m about to face the void- I will remember the smile of Harry Dean Stanton.

- 3.5/5.

Opens January 2018.

#9: BAD GENIUS, directed by Nattawut Poonpiriya, 130 minutes

- Thai Heist-Thriller about students cheating their exams.

- WHAT A FUCKING RIDE!! More stakes in this than most ‘end of the world’ superhero movies.

- The filmmaking is so good it makes you forget plausibility is sometimes being pushed. Amazing set-pieces. Expertly choreographed.

- Whimsical, but painful and genuinely emotional when it needs to be. 

- Every character is so rich and textured in their own way. So fully realised.

- Why do the last 2 minutes of this film exist??

- 2 years time, there will almost certainly be an American remake of this... and it’ll suck so hard. 

- SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM.

4/5.

Opens some time in 2018.

#10: THE FLORIDA PROJECT, directed by Sean Baker, 115 minutes

- In the shadow of Disney World, 6 year-old Moonee and her friends spend the summer playing around the Motels they live in.

- Pastel bright colours. Every person has survived a storm. Explore the wasteland of failed corporate America. Become a child again.

- Baker continues to masterfully blend fiction with reality, wrapping one in the other.

- Doesn’t ask you to like the characters. Doesn’t need to. One of the very best films of the year.

4.5/5.

Opens 10th November.

#11: INGRID GOES WEST, directed by Matt Spicer, 98 minutes

- Ingrid moves to California to become Instagram famous.

- An enjoyable, fun Saturday night film. 

- Elisabeth Olsen as ‘photographer’ Taylor Sloane is note perfect. Could so easily have slept-walked through it, but didn’t. Her relationship with brother Nicky is so, so good. Idea of this Instagram famous rich girl with her crazy, pill-junkie, roid-monkey brother who she knows is terrible but loves him and is sort of as vapid as he is- just knows how to hide it better. And man, he is SO evil. Haven’t hated a character as much as I hated him in a while.

- Plaza holds it together. Her and the film trust you to realise how mentally ill she is without reminding us too much.

- 1st half is superbly played... loses it somewhere in the middle of the 2nd act but picks up again at the end.

- Music was terrible?! Suggested some weird criss-cross in tone of the film.

- I GET IT! THE INTERNET IS BAD!

3.5/5.

Opens 17th November.

#12: You Were Never Really Here, directed by Lynne Ramsey, 85 minutes

- Gulf War veteran Joe is known for the brutality he inflicts on captors of the children he’s rescuing.

- Deeply troubled. Beautiful. Precise. Scatter-brained. Focused. A violin strung too tightly, then played by a madman. How can something so stripped down and raw feel so symphonic and wholesome? I feel like I’ve been repeatedly smashed in the head with a hammer... but enjoyed it.

- Jaoquin Phoenix. Lynne Ramsey. Johnny Greenwood.

- There are things in this that will play on loop in my head for the rest of my life.

4.5/5.

Opens in early 2018.

#13: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, directed by Martin McDonagh, 115 minutes

- A mother takes desperate steps to pressure local law enforcement to find her daughter’s killer.

- Perfectly woven and layered characters. I fucking hate the phrase ‘the character arc’, but if I were teaching a class in it- I’d show this film. 

- A film about relationships, and every relationship between every character or creature or inanimate object is perfect.

- McDonagh loves theatrical sensibilities. Nobody does grand, rich set-pieces quite like him... makes highly stylised situations feel real in the world he sets up.

- I could have watched hours more of these characters interacting.

4/5.

Opens 12th January 2018.

STRAY THOUGHTS:

- Felt spoilt in the audiences I had the pleasure of watching these films with. Always respectful.

- Every time Clare Stewart (head of festival) came on stage to present a film, I just couldn’t help but smile. Bumped into her after a screening and told her my student loan situation. I don’t think she knew what to say.

- DON’T WATCH THE TRAILERS OF ANY OF THESE FILMS. THEY SPOIL SO MANY OF THEM.

- I am consistently shocked by how enamoured I am with celebrities. Some weird conditioning in my brain. Am glad I didn’t queue up to get a picture with anyone. Saying that, this screenshot from a random interview I saw online where I’m juuuust to the left of Emma Stone will live on my wall forever.

ughhhhhh i’m a loser ughhhhh

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: Interconnect (ao3 link) - Chapter 2 Fandom: Flash, DC Legends of Tomorrow Pairing: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart

Summary: Fate has decided that Leonard Snart and Mick Rory are soulmates.

Yeah, okay, they’re good with that.

(for @coldwaveweek2017)

A/N: Instead of doing different fics for coldwave week, I decided to do one with multiple chapters, each based on the various days.

Chapter 2: Soulmates

—————————————————————————————–

Not everyone went to the witches, but a lot of them did.

Oh, sure, it was technically it was illegal. The government had declared all witchcraft a fraud on consumers - they were very careful with their words, since no one wanted to be accused of being a neo-Salemist witch-hunter, but at the same time they despised the institution that by its nature resisted any regularized control. Not to mention the regular breach of certain sanitary restrictions that came along with some variants of it, and it's very hard to outlaw black-kind witchcraft and keep white-kind when even practitioners had trouble telling the difference.

But that didn't stop people from coming.

Witches didn't hand out spells and curses and potions at random, certainly not to civilians who might out them, but one thing they did do was fortunes. Fortunes for the desperate, fortunes for the rich, fortunes for the lovelorn, but most of all fortunes for children, begged for by their parents.

Sometimes, if you were lucky, that fortune came with a spell. Good luck, graceful agility, a turn with numbers, something like that.

If you were unlucky, it came with a curse.

By all accounts, the witches never meant it maliciously, not that it helped the cursed; it was just what the fortune said.

Shoshana Snart, née Mizrahi, was pregnant with her first-born. Her husband was a policeman, with a policeman's disdain for witchcraft - nonsense for the gullible, he called it - but Shoshana's eldest sister had gotten a fortune that she'd lead the way to the promised land, and true enough it was her beauty that had attracted her American military husband, and his wealth and generosity that had helped her family come to America in her trail.

Sometimes Shoshana wished they were back in Africa, or even in Europe where the war had scattered them, but that didn't make the fortune any less true.

Shoshana had saved up her money carefully over the last few months; she wanted a proper fortune, told over her belly, but with Lewis taking her earnings it was difficult and she was pretty far along before she’d managed it, only a week or so from her due date.

But she'd picked a day when she knew he was going to be gone all night - longer, if he got drunk, and he usually got drunk - and here she was, at a shady little shop that pretended to sell books but never really did.

There was another woman there, also pregnant; she had dark hair and fair eyes and a worried smile, and there was a toddler sitting next to her and kicking his feet distractedly.

Shoshana meant to keep silent, she really did, but it was never one of her strong points, as Lewis was always pointing out. Still, she could be subtle. "He's very quiet," she says.

"You're wondering why I brought him," the other woman says wryly, hitting the question Shoshana had had directly on the nose.

Shoshana shrugs and smiles a little, ducking her head instinctively.

"I need a fortune for him, too," the other woman says. "I know it's late for it, but the first one I got's already passed."

"What, so soon?"

"Good thing we got it, too," the other woman confides. "The fortune-teller I went to for him in Keystone - not nearly as good a reputation as the one here - he said that he'd be trapped in the flame. And he was!"

"No!" Shoshana gasps, looking at the boy, but he was fine.

"An electric fire," the other woman says. "My eldest boy playing around with outlets; it was an accident. If it weren't for all the alarms I'd installed, well..."

Shoshana nods. "I'm sorry," she says. "I know it's none of my business."

"Nonsense," the other woman says briskly. "Good curiosity's a woman's birthright. I'm Tess, by and by. Tess Rory."

"Shoshana Snart."

"Good name," Tess says. "My Mickey here -" she nods at the boy "- well, he's been too quiet ever since the fire. Doesn’t talk as much as he ought to at his age, doesn’t like people, keeps to himself and rocks back and forth a lot – normally I’d think it a blessing, me having two before him already and another on the way, but what with the fortune and all, I wasn’t sure. So I figured, why not try for another fortune?"

"Is that wise?"

"Oh, hardly," Tess says. "But I was coming anyway, for the new one, and he can't be left alone or he gets in trouble, so you know. Might as well. As long as I can afford the rate, that is." She laughs.

Shoshana likes her right away.

Then it's her turn to be called in.

Shoshana swallows.

"Your first, eh?" Tess asks. "Don't fret. It's a lot of handwaving and burning things, but it don't hurt. And the children - well, the way I understand it, most of the time the witches are just predicting what's already bound to happen."

"And the rest of the time, they cast spells to make sure it does," Shoshana says dryly.

"Well, yes..."

Shoshana's name is called again. She waves goodbye to Tess - such a friendly woman, it's a pity she lived all the way in Keystone, not to mention how Lewis was so against Shoshana having friends - and goes inside.

The witch is a woman, unlike the one Tess had spoken of in Keystone; she's dressed quite ordinarily, in a smart summer dress and a light sweater; she has plain brown hair and eyes, and is inclined towards fatness. By and large, Lewis wouldn't bat an eyelash seeing this woman in the grocery store, which is a great relief to Shoshana.

"Sit, sit," the woman says, flapping her hands at a chair.

Shoshana sits gratefully.

"So, a fortune is what you're after? For the babe?"

Shoshana nods.

"Excellent," the witch says, and busies herself with her work. The first stage involves selecting herbs and strange ingredients from an array hidden behind a bookcase, glancing at Shoshana and muttering as she goes.

"How do you know which are the right ones?" Shoshana asks. "Is it a recipe?"

"Oh, dearie me, no," the witch says. "Each child has their own set-up - astrological signs, herbs, animal parts, personality signifier - and half the job's figuring out what to go into the mix. The better fitting the ingredients, the more potent the fortune." She holds out a sprig of what smells like mint in front of Shoshana's belly, then instantly pulls it away. "Oh, no, definitely not that -" She replaces it with a sprig of basil. Nothing different happens that Shoshana notices, but the witch smiles and throws it into the pot.

And so it goes, ingredient after ingredient, and questions to Shoshana all the while - strange questions, like her husband's shoe size and her favorite kind of tea (she didn't like any, though she was partial to hot chocolate) - until at last the witch declares herself done.

"Oh, yes," the witch says, lighting the ingredients with a match that she also tosses in there. She puts her hands into the smoke that started to rise above the pot and draws it towards her, inhaling it. Shoshana is reminded of the lighting of the candles for Shabbat. "A strong fortune for your boy, miss."

Shoshana puts a hand to her belly. "He's a boy?"

The first ultrasound had been inconclusive, and Lewis hadn't wanted to pay for more visits.

"Most of the time," the witch says. "As much as any of us are one thing or the other, anyway." She frowns down at her pot. "A very strong fortune, I see."

"What does that mean?" Shoshana asks. "Is that bad?"

"Bad? No. Not necessarily. Though it's not necessarily good, either. Just - strong. Your baby's going to come upon this earth like a hurricane. He'll leave his mark."

There are worse things than that, Shoshana reflects. The custom of her people was to view 'may you live in interesting times' as a curse, of course, but she'd always personally felt that to be utterly erased from this earth, subsumed by history without a trace, wasn't noticeably better.

Then again, that could just be her years with Lewis speaking. He'd certainly subsumed almost all of her into him - his wife, his name, his rules. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if he couldn't manage to do it to their baby.

"Oh," the witch says. Her eyes have gone glassy and blank. "Oh, my child. Forgive me."

Before Shoshana can react, the witch pulls her hands out of the smoke and place them on Shoshana's belly, down low where the child sits. "I curse thee," the witch says. "Your other half is found."

And then she pulls back, leaving Shoshana confused and afraid.

"What was that?" she asks, clutching at her stomach. A curse? She didn't want a curse, not for her baby! Wasn't Lewis curse enough?! "What did you do?"

The witch's eyes clear. "I'm sorry," she says, and she seems genuinely upset. "The fortunes come like that, sometimes, and there's no stopping them."

"But what does it mean?"

"Well, what did I say?" the witch asks. At Shoshana's incredulous expression, the witch shrugs. "I can tell fortunes, dearie; but curses come from somewhere beyond me - speaking through me, but not from me, if you understand. I can usually interpret them, though. Was it long?"

"Ah, no," Shoshana says. "You just said - 'I curse thee. Your other half is found.'"

The witch blinks. "Oh," she says. "Oh, dear."

Shoshana considers whether punching the witch would make her respond faster. Her face is apparently clear enough that the witch edges her chair back.

"That's a rare one," the witch says. "The curse of soulmates."

The - what?

"I beg your pardon?"

"Soulmates," the witch says. "You must have heard of the concept - the one person in all the world meant for you, and all that twaddle?"

"Well, yes," Shoshana says, more confused than ever.

"For most people, it's just a nice word," the witch says. "A pretty romantic concept, most effectively portrayed in novels and whatnot. There's a lot of people in the world, you know, and finding just the right one is almost impossible. Unless, of course, you happen to get your fortune told and your soulmate's in the immediate vicinity, in which case you get cursed."

"My baby has a soulmate?" Shoshana repeats.

"That's right," the witch says. "And he or she or they are somewhere nearby right now, too."

"I - it - but how is that a curse?" Shoshana exclaims. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"For some people it is," the witch says. "Assuming they like each other, anyway."

"But - if they're soulmates -"

"That just means they're the right fit," the witch says. "Doesn't say a thing about whether they like that fit. Some of history's greatest enemies have been soulmates. You can't take free will away from a person, not by anything but a curse, and that's what this is - a curse. Your baby won't have a choice about finding someone for himself, because he's already been given that someone."

"Oh," Shoshana says. It still didn't sound so bad to her. Soulmates - never ending up with a man that hit you, or ignored you, or left you feeling used... "But..."

"The curse doesn't make your baby love whoever it is," the witch explains. "Doesn't even make him like him. It just binds them together, that's all. The right fit. There's a way to break it, of course; there's always a way to break a curse."

"True love's kiss?"

"If your baby finds love with another, then yes," the witch says. "That's something of a cure-all, really. And don't start with that 'true' business; as long as it's unconditional for the time being, it'll work. I once saw a curse broken by a pair of very good friends..."

"But there's a more specific version for this curse?"

"Oh, yes."

Shoshana waited for a few seconds, but the witch didn’t seem to be inclined to elaborate. “What is it?”

“Oh, dearie me, I don’t know that,” the witch says, very unhelpfully. “I wouldn’t be able to tell you even if I did; it’s all very person-specific. If your baby decide they want to cut if off – really cut it off – then they can go seek out a witch themselves, and with any luck that witch will be able to divide a fortune for them and tell them what they need to do. It can be anything, really, depending on how fortune favors the relationship.”

“I see,” Shoshana, who did not see, says. “So – how do I know who his soulmate is?”

The witch makes a face.

“You have no idea,” Shoshana interprets.

“They’re in the area?” the witch offers. “They’ll be as bound by the curse as your boy is, so I’d imagine they’d notice. If someone comes in here with a sudden case of soulmate, I’ll be sure to let you know if you leave your number.”

Now it’s Shoshana’s turn to make a face. She really couldn’t afford to be giving out her home number and receiving calls where Lewis might notice – but on the other hand, this was her baby’s soulmate. Her little baby. A son. That’s good. Lewis might love him the way he never seems to love Shoshana anymore.

She scribbles down her number on a small piece of paper and hands it to the witch.

“Good luck,” the witch says.

Shoshana smiles at her, a bit tightly – on one hand, a curse; on the other, soulmates – and heads out.

“Call the next one in, will you?” the witch calls after her.

Shoshana nods and goes out. “Your turn,” she says to Tess.

“Not go well?” Tess asks as she struggles to her feet, noticing the tightness on Shoshana’s face.

“Not sure,” Shoshana admits.

At that moment, the little boy who’d been sitting quietly next to Tess, rocking back and forth and humming – he couldn’t be more than two, really, though he was big for his age – suddenly jumps out of his chair and scuttles over to Shoshana, holding his arms up in the universal child gesture for ‘pick me up’.

“Mickey!” Tess exclaims, surprised. “Oh – I’m sorry, he doesn’t tend to like people, but he seems to have taken quite the shine to you.”

“Up,” Mickey says stubbornly.

Tess reaches for him.

“No!” he exclaims, pulling away from his mother and closer to Shoshana. He tugs at Shoshana’s skirt. “Up!”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Shoshana assures Tess, crouching down carefully – not easy with how far along she is. “I’m sorry, Mickey, but I can’t –” she starts, ready to explain that her belly is too big to lift him easily, but Mickey loses interest almost immediately in going up and goes instead to put his hands on Shoshana’s belly.

“Baby,” he says.

“Yes, it’s a baby,” Shoshana says encouragingly. “Just like your mom.”

“No, baby,” Mickey insists. “My baby.”

Shoshana is startled into a laugh. “Well, isn’t that nice,” she says.

“I’m so sorry,” Tess says. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Shoshana says to Tess, then, turning back to Mickey, she says gently, “No, Mickey; this is my baby. That over there –” she nods at Tess’s belly “– is your baby brother or sister.”

“My baby!” Mickey insists, putting his cheek to Shoshana’s belly. “Mine.”

Tess and Shoshana share a smile.

“C’mon, Mickey,” Tess says. “Let’s go.”

“No!”

It takes some convincing, but eventually Tess manages to get Mickey to go with her into the witch’s room.

Shoshana levers herself up and goes home.

Lewis, who shouldn’t have been there until tomorrow, came back early, and he’s steaming mad about her going out without permission. They have a screaming fight about it, only for it to be interrupted, right in the middle, by Shoshana crumpling in on herself, hands grasping her stomach.

“What?” Lewis says savagely. “You think you can get out of this by playing up the baby thing? Well, let me tell you –”

“Shut up, you stupid man,” Shoshana cries out. “My water’s breaking.”

Lewis’ face abruptly loses all trace of anger – and, for that matter, of color. “What, now?!”

“Yes, now!”

“But you’re not due for another week –”

“Lewis!”

“Right,” he says, looking spooked. “Uh – we should – ”

“Car,” Shoshana says through gritted teeth. “Hospital. Now.”

Lewis even grabs the spare siren he uses when he’s in undercover duty to get them through traffic quicker.

Neither of them notice the phone ringing insistently.

The witch on the other end eventually hangs up. “I’m sorry,” she says. “No luck. Not even a voicemail.”

“And she didn’t leave an address?” Tess Rory asks the witch anxiously, clutching her toddler’s hand tightly in hers. “Is she from Central? Do we know?”

“I have no idea,” the witch says apologetically. “I’m sorry – if I’d realized – I would have told her to wait – ”

“Soulmates,” Tess says, looking at her little Mickey, her quiet, troubled boy. “Soulmates. I can’t believe it. They're soulmates, and they just passed right by each other.”

Mickey himself was quiet and calm, his eyes distant and lost in his own mind as it always is nowadays, after that horrible electric fire that had made him scream so badly. He’s smiling, though, which pleases Tess, and she turns to the witch discuss the logistics of a fortune for her unborn babe as well.

“My baby,” Mickey whispers happily to himself, unnoticed by the adults in the room. “Mine.”