#does anyone other than me ever talk about monaghan here?

[kingdom-of-ire]

Chilchuck from dungeon meshi is a monaghan lad to me.

Reason 1) Unionised in hard labour setting, say what you will about how under educated monaghan is sometimes but we are damn good at joining a union and sticking with it

Reason 2) half foots are basically just hobbits and hobbits are basically a metaphor for the British, guess what's in Britain? Northern Ireland- where's Northern Ireland? Ulster- who's in free ulster? Monaghan. Hobbits can be a stand in for monaghan lads too

Reason 3) I am from monaghan and I like him.

reason 3 cannot be refuted by anyone

long story short

uncontestable proof he is from monaghan

[your-angle-of-music]

Anyone want my playlist for my dream cast version of Les Miserables?

Here it is!

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyXOfYb8cpflTuoC6FuFMwyCuD60-V0J4

It’s as close to the full show as I can get. Let me know if I miscredited anyone, am missing any major songs, or have anything listed out of order. I’m happy to be convinced that a different version of a song should reign supreme as well, so hit me up!

Song/actors list and explanations under the cut.

1. Overture/Work Song - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean, Terrence Mann as Javert (Original Broadway)

It’s a big, bombastic, awesome beginning. I definitely vibe with the especially over-the-top synth and these particular convicts’ generally growly, desperate tone. Wilkinson’s Valjean, eternally my favorite, doesn’t seem feral like some versions I’ve seen, but rather like he’s trying so hard to just be good and get through this and keep it together, until he snaps a bit at “My name is Jean Valjean” and the way he acts that gives me chills. Mann’s Javert seems more cold than over-the-top aggressive, which I always like, although he doesn’t stick out thaaat much to me.

2. On Parole/The Bishop - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean, Paul Monaghan as Bishop Myriel (10th Anniversary)

I love everything about Wilkinson’s Valjean’s “freedom is mine” bit. His unique diction and his perfect tenor-ness and the hope in his voice...yeah. The way he hits and holds that “fliiiiiiiight” note is also pretty perfect. It sounds like the scream he was holding in the whole time he was in prison. I also appreciate Monaghan’s Bishop’s sudden earnestness at the “But remember this, my brother” part and the way he holds that last low “I have bought your soul for God.”

3. Prologue/What Have I Done? - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean (Original London)

Wilkinson’s Valjean seems to make the beginning part properly fast and frantic, then switches to a gentle, heartwrenchingly vulnerable tone, then his absolutely anguished “this is all I have known.” As always, he excels at those high notes and long notes.

4. At the End of the Day - Lea Salonga as Fantine, Alfie Boe as Jean Valjean, Jeff Nicholson as the Factory Foreman (25th Anniversary)

All the women here sound so angry, at everyone and everything, and it’s pretty great. Honestly, it was Nicholson’s factory foreman here that really caught my ear, with his nasty “oi!” after the “and in a bed” line and his frankly terrifying “on your way!”. I like Salonga’s Fantine’s note of desperation, although she honestly could sound a little angrier. This track includes a tiny bit of the beginning of “I Dreamed a Dream” and then cuts off — sorry about that.

5. I Dreamed a Dream - Maureen Moore as Fantine (1988)

Something about this recording makes it sound like it’s much older than it is, and that slightly echoey sound makes it sound all the more haunting. A lot of Fantines sound enraged here, and I like that too, but something about Moore’s just utter sadness and vulnerability just sells it for me like no one else can. She sounds so young, because Fantine is. And then the way she belts “shame” is perfection. The way she goes from quiet and gentle at the beginning to desperate belting at the end and then the soft last lines murders my soul every time.

6. Lovely Ladies - Randy Graff as Fantine (Original Broadway)

Honestly...I haven’t found a version of this song that I love yet. There’s still this air of humor to it that feels incongruous at best and mean-spirited at worst. But I really like the worn-out, older sounding voices of a lot of the women singing to Fantine, and Graff’s Fantine’s anguish and slightly breaking voice is definitely good, as is her “don’t they know they’re making love to one already dead?”

7. Fantine’s Arrest - Caissie Levy as Fantine, Nathaniel Hackmann as Jean Valjean, Earl Carpenter as Javert (2014)

I love Levy’s Fantine here, with her fear and her fierceness. The way she spits out that “even a whore who’s gone to the bad won’t be had by a rat” is perfect in every way, as is her pleading after. Carpenter’s Javert has a lovely bass and is also cold and punchable, as all Javerts should be. This is one of the only songs on this playlist I have a video for, and I appreciate the blocking; the women crowding around Fantine and then fleeing, and the way Hackmann’s Valjean keeps his distance from Fantine and generally radiates  respect and tenderness.

8. The Runaway Cart - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean, Terrence Mann as Javert (Original Broadway)

Thank you @lesbianrung for this recommendation! The ensemble sounds frantic and scared here, sometimes screaming more than singing, but for a chaotic scene like this, it works. Mann’s Javert is more reserved here than some I’ve seen, a bit more like the authority-fearing, self-loathing Brick Javert. Wilkinson’s Valjean sounds like a wreck when he’s begging someone to help him lift the cart, does a great little nervous laugh on “say what you must, don’t leave it there,” and belts his “how can you be sure that I am not your man” to excellent effect.

9. Who Am I? - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean (Original Broadway)

Hey quick question did I mention that I love Colm Wilkinson? God that tormented shiver in Valjean’s voice...the softness of that last “I am damned”..his buildup up to “I’m Jean Valjean”...the way he hits that last “two-four-six-oh-oneeeeeeee”...yeah no there is one (1) Jean Valjean and that is Colm Wilkinson.

10. Come to Me/Fantine’s Death - Ruthie Henshall as Fantine, Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean (10th Anniversary)

Henshall’s Fantine sounds so gentle yet so powerful here. The way she sings “I will sing you lullabies and wake you in the morning” absolutely shatters me and always will.Her belting sounds beautiful and clear and perfect, vulnerable yet strong. The way she fades out on her last word, “wake,” is utterly haunting. Wilkinson’s Jean Valjean sounds soft and caring, and the way he half-breathes a lot of the words is. Oh.

11. The Confrontation - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean, Philip Quast as Javert (10th Anniversary)

Quast’s Javert has a true bass quality that really, really works, like in the way he says “you’ll wear a different chain.” In general, the way he seems to bite off his words and the steely determination of his voice is perfect. He balances really well with Wilkinson’s Valjean who, for the first time, sounds scary, but can switch to softness for the dead Fantine. The last “I will be there” is excellent all-around.

12. Castle on a Cloud - Zoë Hart as Little Cosette (Original London)

Hart’s Little Cosette is insanely good! She really does sound like a little kid and still has awesome acting and she’s in tune! Her “there is a lady all in white, holds me and sings me a lullaby” bit is heartbreaking.

13. Master of the House - Barry James as M. Thenardier, Gay Soper as Mme. Thenardier (International Symphonic)

James and Soper are my favorite Thenardiers of all time, by far. I like this longer version that mentions M. Thenardier’s Waterloo shenanigans. James’ Thenardier sounds gleefully evil, and I like his whispery, growly tone or rowdy almost-shouting. You can absolutely hear his nasty grin. His affected r-rolling also reminds me a lot of the Brick characterization. Soper’s Mme. Thenardier has a weasely quality to her voice that seems appropriate, but she does not shy away from the ruder lines (”lifelong shit,” “not much there,” “up the master’s ass,” etc.) and she, like her husband, seems to be having a lot of fun and lapping up the attention. I adore how she delivers her “bastard in the house” line.

14. The Bargain/Waltz of Treachery - Barry James as M. Thenardier, Gay Soper as Mme. Thenardier, Gary Morris as Jean Valjean, Marissa Dunlop as Little Cosette (International Symphonic)

Morris’ Valjean and Dunlop’s Little Cosette’s “la la la la la la la la” harmony is amazing and tender and adorable and may or may not make me cry which is not supposed to happen before Act II. Morris’ delivery of his “now her mother is with God” and “I stand here in her place” lines is powerful, too. The Thenardiers sound delightfully sleazy and dramatic, too. I like that Morris’ Valjean sounds actually angry at them, unlike many others I’ve seen. I almost have to admit though, I miss the movie version of the final lines, where they had “Will you be like a papa to me?”/”Yes Cosette, yes it’s true, I’ll be father and mother to you,” while here, like in other stage shows, they have “Will there be castles and children to see?”/”Yes Cosette, yes it’s true, there’s a castle just waiting for you” because 1) I like Valjean’s father and mother role that Hugo kept talking about in the Brick, and 2) in the musical, it seemed pretty clear that there weren’t actually any other children around Cosette until Marius showed up!

15. Suddenly - Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean (2012 movie)

Yes, I’m including this song from the movie. Honestly, I don’t like the song itself that much, and I don’t think Jackman’s Valjean has the strongest voice, although his acting is extremely sweet, and when he almost whispers “full of light” and “like the sun” I definitely almost lose it. But I’m mainly including this song because the musical really did need a song that fills this role. The stage musical devotes a weirdly small amount of time to Cosette and Valjean’s relationship, considering that it drives Valjean’s actions for the rest of the story and it is central to the Brick (and one of my favorite parts of it, too). This is the first time that Valjean has ever felt truly loved in his life! Something suddenly HAS begun!

16. Look Down - Ross McCall as Gavroche, Anthony Warlow as Enjolras (International Symphonic)

I fell in love with this version because of the ensemble, honestly. It started out loud and powerful and strong, even more so than the Overture/Work Song bit. McCall’s Gavroche is beyond perfect, though. He is strong and sassy, and angry too, more than most Gavroches in the beginning, but he also sounds so young! Warlow’s Enjolras has an incredibly powerful voice as well, and makes a pretty awesome first impression.

17. The Robbery - Carrie Hope Fletcher as Eponine Thenardier, Rob Houchen as Marius Pontmercy, Cameron Blakely as M. Thenardier, James Gant as Javert (2013)

This is another song I’ve got the blocking for. It’s pretty standard, although I always like when a Marius, like Houchen’s, gets involved in the Fray to defend Cosette. I love the dynamic between Fletcher’s Eponine and Houchen’s Marius, with affection and teasing and care, and their little smiles and head shakes, but also with a bit of discomfort on Marius’ end — he seems a little awkward about trying to get his books back with minimal contact, and he seems to be deflecting the “I like the way you grow your hair” thing as nicely as he can, but definitely deflecting. Blakely doesn’t make much of an impression as Thenardier (although his “told you so” is really funny), and Gant is not my favorite Javert, but Fletcher’s “It’s Javert” is ridiculously awesome.

18. Stars - Philip Quast as Javert (10th Anniversary)

Quast’s Javert is...yeah, what else is there to say?

19. Eponine’s Errand - Kaho Shimada as Eponine Thenardier, Michael Ball as Marius Pontmercy (International Symphonic)

I wish this recording weren’t missing Gavroche’s little part beforehand, but I think Shimada’s Eponine and Ball’s Marius are worth the trade-off. Shimada sounds a little softer and sadder here, not angry like in some versions, which I don’t mind. But when she sees Marius, she switches to determinedly playful which is all the more heartwrenching. And her “I don’t want your money, sir” hurts. Ball’s Marius’ voice is nice and lovestruck and also not softening his single-minded obliviousness. I like his gentle desperation at his “Eponine, do this for me.” I also like that the lyric here is “don’t let her father know” instead of “don’t let your father know.”

20. Red and Black - Eddie Redmayne as Marius Pontmercy, Aaron Tveit as Enjolras, George Bladgen as Grantaire (2012 movie)

Embarrassing as it is to admit, Eddie Redmayne is my favorite Marius. He’s emotional and, well, a noodle, but also very sweet and sings well and has a higher, lighter voice than most Marii I’ve seen. He’s young!  They’re all so young! And I like that Tveit’s Enjolras feels a lot less shouty here ; it's more accurate to Brick descriptions of his interactions with his friends, and reflects his kind of angelic vibe. And I definitely appreciate that Bladgen’s Grantaire’s mocking is a little softer here — he knows a thing or two about impossible love. I do love his little laugh when he says “it is better than an opera.” And that last “they will come when we call” makes me feel things.

21. Do You Hear the People Sing? - Michael Maguire as Enjolras (Original Broadway)

Sometimes you need an angelic Aaron Tveit, and sometimes you need a powerhouse Michael Maguire. Damn.

22. In My Life - Judy Kuhn as Cosette, David Bryant as Marius Pontmercy, Frances Ruffelle as Eponine Thenardier, Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean (Original Broadway)

Kuhn’s Cosette has such a sweet voice, and you can hear her quiet fierce excitement in the beginning. She manages to sing Cosette’s high notes with softness and gentleness really well for the most part, although I’m not that fond of the sound on her “does he know I’m alive? do I know if he’s real?” high notes. Wilkinson’s Valjean seems gentler than some of the others I’ve seen, even on the “no more words” bit, and a lot of his negative emotion seems to be directed inward. Bryant’s Marius is in love, and sounds perhaps a bit too confident and a bit too old for my taste. No, what really stands out here is Frances Ruffelle’s Eponine. God, I love Frances Ruffelle’s Eponine. Starting off strong with that agonized “every word that he says is a dagger in me,” she sounds so young, with an almost-whiny, heartwrenching edge that reminds me the most of her Brick characterization, but she gets so gentle on her last “waiting here.”

23. A Heart Full of Love - Katie Hall as Cosette, Gareth Gates as Marius Pontmercy, Rosalind James as Eponine Thenardier (2010)

This recording picks up with James’ Eponine’s “waiting here,” definitely an interesting comparison. She sounds awesome throughout this piece, with a lovely warm alto voice. And I love love LOVE Katie Hall’s Cosette, with all her strength and sweetness. God, you can hear her smiling. She shines the most when she sings her softest lines, like “no fear, no regret,” “I'm awake,” and the last “after all.” Gates’ Marius is incredibly charming, but still absolutely an awkward mess, and you can hear him dying inside when he says “oh God, for shame, I do not even know your name.” The balance between all three of their voices is perfect.

24. Plumet Attack - Frances Ruffelle as Eponine Thenardier, Bernard Leo Burmester as M. Thenardier (Original Broadway)

Burmester’s Thenardier is properly scary here. Once again Ruffelle’s Eponine steals the show, belting all of her lines perfectly. Her “told you I’d do it” is haunting and perfect and brave in that oh-so-Eponine way, with a hint of petulance.

25. One Day More - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean, Terrence Mann as Javert, Judy Kuhn as Cosette, Davis Bryant as Marius Pontmercy, Frances Ruffelle as Eponine Thenardier, Bernard Leo Burmester as M. Thenardier, Jennifer Butt as Mme. Thenardier (Original Broadway)

Everyone starts out so soft, and they make this song build so perfectly and balance each other out impeccably. Ruffelle’s Eponine’s “one more day all on my own” bit rises above it all, and her voice sounds so clear and powerful and good. Also did you hear that loud and long “one day more!” out of Wilkinson’s Valjean? And Les Amis’ triumphant swelling chorus? Everyone here is superhuman, I swear.

26. Building the Barricade (Upon These Stones) - Michael Ball as Marius, Kaho Shimada as Eponine Thenardier, Anthony Warlow as Enjolras, Philip Quast as Javert (International Symphonic)

It’s mistitled as “At the Barricade” but I pinky promise it’s not. Ball’s Marius sounds genuinely concerned and touchingly pissed. Shimada’s Eponine is sweet and playful, and her “little you know, little you care” has very little bite, which I’m not sure I like. What I absolutely adore, though, is the bit where she delivers Marius’ letter to Morris’ Valjean. Shimada sounds suddenly shy, and Morris seems in full adopting mode. Something about this exchange just feels incredibly sweet to me. And then when Morris reads Marius’ letter, and his little pause in the “you love me as well” part is perfection.

27. On My Own - Frances Ruffelle as Eponine Thenardier (Original Broadway)

What can I say? Ruffelle’s Eponine absolutely kills it. She has a lovely husky voice that sounds sweet and sad and angry and powerful and broken all at once. I love the way she sings “in the rain, the pavement shines like silver” and “and I know it’s only in my mind, that I’m talking to myself and not to him” and “all my life I’ve only been pretending” and of course that “a world that’s full of happiness that I have never known.” The way she builds up from sweet fantasizing to absolute anguish...and then she breathes out those last “I love him”s and she sounds like the teenager Eponine is. God. I need a moment. Or several.

28. Javert at the Barricade - Terrence Mann as Javert, I can’t find the Gavroche which enrages me to no end (Original Broadway)

Mann’s Javert isn’t as dramatic as I’d like, but I’m here for Gavroche. I do miss the Les Amis dialogue that happens in newer versions of this song, but the older version of this song, which includes a lot more of “Little People” is better in my opinion because it makes Gavroche’s death scene all the sadder. I adore this particular Gavroche’s sassiness and spunk and his powerful voice.

29. A Little Fall of Rain - Frances Ruffelle as Eponine Thenardier, Michael Ball as Marius Pontmercy (Original London)

Ruffelle’s Eponine sounds so utterly vulnerable here, but with a hint of strange almost-happiness that reminds me of the Brick’s version of her death scene. Her voice feels lighter and sweeter here than anything else, and Ruffelle’s Eponine always has a different way of singing when Marius can hear her from how she sings when he can’t, and here we feel them merging together, especially at her “hold me now and let it be, shelter me, comfort me.” And I adore Ball’s Marius softness here, especially during the duet part. His “hush-a-bye, dear Eponine” is angelic. The whole song feels so intimate with them. This is always the point where I start crying.

30. Night of Anguish - Michael Ball as Marius Pontmercy, Anthony Warlow as Enjolras, Gary Morris as Jean Valjean (International Symphonic)

Somber all-around, and everyone’s voice is good. No performer sticks out that much, to be honest. I do get chills whenever the “Drink with Me” theme comes on in the background. And when Jean Valjean comes in, the rising terror of Les Amis becomes apparent, and all their voices are strong.

31. The Attack - David Burt as Enjolras (Original London)

Again, a plot song in between the big ones, so not too much to say here, but everyone sings well.

32. Drink With Me - Aaron Tveit as Enjolras, George Bladgen as Grantaire, Eddie Redmayne as Marius Pontmercy, Daniel Huttlestone as Gavroche Thenardier (2012 movie)

Just to warn you, the sound doesn’t kick in until a few seconds in. I absolutely love this version (once the generous poster re-added Grantaire’s solo, of course). I love Tveit’s Enjolras’ weariness and gentleness at the beginning, reminiscent of Brick Enjolras who loves his friends in his fierce and quiet way. You can hear the heartbreak in his “Marius, rest.” I love how Huttlestone’s Gavroche echoes Les Amis’ lines throughout the chorus — I’ve never seen that in any of the stage productions. And God, Bladgen’s Grantaire. He is so much more earnest here than others I’ve seen, and I appreciate that he gets quiet on “can it be, you fear to die?” as if he’s past defiant anger and is already grieving. He just has a clear, lovely voice. And although it sucks that the movie cut his solo out and it had to be edited in this way, I almost like how faraway it makes this part sound, as if Grantaire is still holed up in the Corinthe with his wine, looking down at his friends, half-awake and helpless. I appreciate that Redmayne’s Marius’ lyric was changed from “Would you weep, Cosette, should Marius fall?” to “Would you weep, Cosette, if I were to fall?” because it sounds a lot more like something someone would actually say. Also, this is another clip with video, and I’m really happy with how it looks, especially the way both Enjolras and Valjean are off to the distance and the way it pans to Valjean when Marius is singing about Cosette.

33. Bring Him Home - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean (10th Anniversary)

Wilkinson’s Valjean starts out so quiet, with the perfect sweet spot of vibrato. Literally all of his high notes sound perfect and still expressive! I almost don’t know what to highlight, but just listen to how he decrescendos on that “I am old, and will be gone” and the power in that “if I die, let me die” and that absolutely ethereal last “bring him home” which he holds for so so long for a note that high for a tenor. This man has the range, darlings.

34. Dawn of Anguish - Anthony Warlow as Enjolras (International Symphonic)

Warlow’s Enjolras absolute grief and tenderness is absolutely heartwrenching. The way he delivers the line “we will not abandon those who cannot hear.” And that little “Drink with Me” reprise feels like getting stabbed. Whenever they end it with “if I die, I die with you” I stop breathing for too many seconds.

35. The Second Attack/Death of Gavroche - Daniel Huttlestone as Gavroche Thenardier, Aaron Tveit as Enjolras, Hadley Fraser as the Army Officer (2012 movie)

Huttlestone’s Gavroche is amazing. You can hear that he’s in pain but not even scared as he sings in a clear, powerful voice. Fraser also killed his “you have no chance, no chance at all” and I’m honestly surprised he didn’t get cast as one of Les Amis. And, of course, Tveit’s Enjolras’ “until the Earth is free!” could have singlehandedly killed King Louis-Philippe.

36. Dog Eats Dog - Bernard Leo Burmester as M. Thenardier (Original Broadway)

Barry James’ Thenardier might be the funniest, but Burmester’s will always be the scariest. His growly tones and big dynamic changes and dramatic enunciation really make this. The breathy way he says “when the gutters run with blood” and his powerful final “the harvest moon shines down” is beyond chilling.

37. Javert’s Suicide - Philip Quast as Javert, Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean (10th Anniversary)

Wilkinson’s Valjean here is the angriest I’ve ever seen his portrayal of the character. There is so much pent-up bitterness in his “I knew you wouldn’t wait too long.” Quast’s Javert is wonderful, as always. In his duet part with Wilkinson, with his half-feral “I will be waiting, two-four-six-oh-one,” both of them shine. And then during his main soliloquy, when he goes from snarling, “it is either Valjean or Javert!” to sounding so soft and lost as he begins the “how can I now allow this man to hold dominion over me?” bit. And at his “by granting me my life today, this man has killed me even so,” you can hear him making his choice to jump, and it’s awful, and it’s perfect.

38. Turning - Original Broadway Cast

Oh, this song is so underrated, and these people do a particularly amazing job with it. Their voices sound so tired and worn, sometimes old and rough, sometimes young and light, and all of them heartbroken. Their “where’s that new world now the fighting’s done” and the way they sing the round section is haunting and beautiful.

39. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - Eddie Redmayne as Marius Pontmercy (2012 movie)

I have to say, no one does this one like Eddie Redmayne. His Marius’ grief is absolutely crushing. I like how this arrangement goes super light with the instrumentals at first, and how Redmayne’s Marius starts off very soft. His “at the table in the corner” section gives me goosebumps every time, and he nails every single high note. And by the time we reach “phantom faces at the window,” he seems to be letting it out, and his “oh my friends, my friends, don’t ask me what your sacrifice was for” has me sobbing.

40. Every Day/A Heart Full of Love Reprise - Katie Hall as Cosette, Gareth Gates as Marius Pontmercy, John Owen Jones as Jean Valjean (2010)

Ah, Les Mis, killing me with the parallels once again. This version seems to go by awfully fast, but Hall’s Cosette and Gates’ Marius are properly sweet, and JOJ’s Valjean is gentle and sad and heartbreaking. All of their voices balance each other well.

41. Valjean’s Confession - Gary Morris as Jean Valjean, Michael Ball as Marius Pontmercy (International Symphonic)

I really don’t like versions that shorten this; I feel like Jean Valjean needs to be wordy here. In the Brick, he’s almost hysterical. Morris’ Valjean is so gentle, and you can hear the pleading and pain in his voice, on phrases like “she’s had enough of tears” and “to save his sister’s son” and then his voice is so powerful and despairing on “who am I?” and then when it gets soft..yeah I’m not okay. Ball’s Marius’ “it must be so” is pretty, but he doesn’t stick out that much compared to Morris’ powerhouse performance. Also, God the score playing “who am I?” in the background was just cruel. I love it.

42. The Wedding Chorale/Beggars at the Feast - Barry James as M. Thenardier, Gay Soper as Mme. Thenardier, Michael Ball as Mariius Pontmercy (International Symphonic)

James and Soper are just the right Thenardiers for the job. They are clearly having an extremely good time, and I love their sniveling and their scheming and their flamboyance. Ball’s Marius acts very well here too. I love his scoff at “do you think I don’t know who you are?” and his anger on Eponine’s behalf.

43. Finale - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean, Randy Graff as Fantine, Frances Ruffelle as Eponine, David Bryant as Marius Pontmercy, Judy Kuhn as Cosette (Original Broadway)

I have no words.

[frasier-crane-style]

"It’s weird how so many people keep coming back from the dead.”

That was my mom’s review of The Rise of Skywalker. I ended up seeing it in January, which is very fitting, because it is very much the kind of movie you’d expect Sam Worthington to be in.

-I’m not saying it’s rushed, but I’m pretty sure the Star Wars logo and opening scroll are on fast-forward.

-If I’m following the movie’s math right, we left things off in TLJ with the First Order reigning over the entire galaxy with a huge fleet, while the Resistance was down to twenty or so people. By TROS, they’ve expanded to let’s say a hundred people, a few starfighters, and a blockade runner. Palpatine shows up with a thousand Star Destroyers which he intends to gift to the First Order. The plot of the movie involves destroying these Star Destroyers. Which still leaves the entire First Order more or less intact, until they’re spontaneously overcome by regular people around the galaxy. So, in other words, the entire Resistance vs. First Order conflict was resolved entirely off-screen, with no involvement from the Resistance, as they dealt with an entirely new threat.

-I love how Disney dedicated the entire Rogue One movie to explaining the ‘plot hole’ that the Death Star had a small, easily overlooked, and hard to access weakness--while the Sith Star Destroyers here literally have big glowing red weak spots out of a 16-bit game and are docked in such a way that they’re left totally vulnerable for minutes at end. Who designed these things, Dr. Wily?

-No wonder John Boyega is pissed--the movie really strongly hints that he’s Force-sensitive and has feelings for Rey, but JJ doesn’t bother to wrap up that loose end at all. 

-”Let’s win this one for Leia! She never gave up!” Movie, you just said she gave up on being a Jedi, like, five minutes ago. And man, you’re saying she was basically a Jedi in all but name, and she still sent her defenseless, old man husband out to redeem Ben instead of going herself? I mean, you didn’t see Count Dooku sitting on his ass just because he could get a senior citizen’s discount. He was putting himself out there all through the Clone Wars, repping the Confederacy. I guess Leia is just chickenshit.

-So, umm... how is Palpatine defeated anymore totally this time than he was the last time? Like, what’s to stop him from resurrecting himself again and revealing that he had yet another fleet up his ass?

-And I know the Star Wars canon has played fast and loose as hell with the “only two there are, a master and an apprentice”, bringing in an endless supply of Sith Inquisitors and whatnot, but an entire fleet of Sith, with a cult and special Stormtroopers--I mean, wow. Sure, they’re not Force-sensitive, but where did they come from? Where they around during the prequels? Did Palpatine recruit a billion people and send them off to just start building Star Destroyers, with no one noticing or wondering what was going on at all? Entirely separate from the First Order, which also started up and built a galaxy-ruling fleet with no one noticing? Like, shit, this guy must be the greatest economist of all time. He should be in charge! The Republic can’t even end child slavery and he’s cranking out fleets like there’s no tomorrow!

-And I guess Snoke was an uber-powerful clone of some kind that Palpatine could control, begging the question of why he’s bothering with Rey if he can create Snokes and why he doesn’t just create a whole army of killer Snokes who can Force Lightning whole fleets away? Say what you will about the EU, but it was smart enough to immediately explain why you couldn’t/shouldn’t clone Jedi.

-And if you’ll remember from TLJ, Rey and Kylo Ren can only Forcetime each other because of Snoke creating the connection and him being an uber-powerful Sith Lord. Luke doing it outright killed him. Here, though, Rey and Kylo Ren are able to Forcetime each other whenever they want. I guess everyone involved just forgot what killed Luke Skywalker one movie ago.

-It’s funny that they try to explain away that the Holdo Manuever was a ‘one in a million,’ and then at the end they show that someone has successfully done it again on an Imperial Star Destroyer. So I guess that is a valid tactic now. Great...

-Man, that Force healing technique sure would’ve been handy when Qui-Gon Jinn was dying. Or when Shmi Skywalker was dying. Or when Vader was dying. Padme Amidala...

-What was the point of introducing a new cute droid and leaving R2-D2 behind? Like, why don’t you just stop the movie and have Poe Dameron give all the kids in the audience a special gift code for the Disney gift shop?

-”Never be afraid of who you are, Rey.” Okay, but then she disavows her entire identity as a Palpatine and names herself a Skywalker. It’s not like Luke renamed himself after he found out who Darth Vader was. And Daddy Palpatine and Mommy Palpatine seemed like good peoples. Even if she doesn’t (or does?) remember them, what’s the alternative? She considers Luke her father? Han? Does she consider herself married to Ben? Does she think Leia is like a mother to her even though their relationship was entirely off-screen? So crazy.

-I also like the part at the beginning where Palpatine casually reveals that he’s been the voice in Ben Solo’s head all along. Where we supposed to know that Ben has literally been hearing voices this whole time? Okay, I guess his motivation all this time was... fake mental illness? How satisfying!

-Also find it hilarious that it’s time for Rey’s character arc to end, but they never actually gave her a character, so at the literal last minute, they turn her into Luke Skywalker. Her granddaddy is a supervillain and she’s afraid of going over to the Dark Side. Only obviously she doesn’t give a shit about redeeming Palpatine, she just wants to get revenge for her dead parents, so--it’s like someone watched the OT and said “Wouldn’t this be better without the famous twist in ESB and if we didn’t set up this conflict until the last movie?”

-And the whole movie, they’re trying to find Palpatine specifically to assassinate him, but now Rey’s in danger of going over to the Dark Side, so when she talks about killing Palpatine, everyone’s all worried. “Rey, this isn’t you!” Shades of the Battle of Crait, because--what are they supposed to do when they find Palpatine? Does the Resistance ever actually order anyone to do anything or do they just send people places and have them make it all up as they go along?

-We let Abrams get away with including his buddy Amiable Fat Dude cameo as a character in these movies, but here it really gets out of control, as Jodie Comer and Dominic Monaghan show up to play basically extras, which just ends up being distracting as hell. Imagine if, in Return of the Jedi, Luke took Vader’s mask off... and oh my God, it’s Frank Sinatra!

-For an almost plotless movie, it gets pretty convoluted at times. Palpatine orders Kylo Ren to kill Rey, although he doesn’t really want her dead, it’s just tough love I guess? Kylo is upfront about not caring about that; he wants to turn her to the Dark Side so they can kill Palpatine together. He doesn’t seem to have any real clever way to go about this other than trying to kill her (?) and revealing to her her true parentage, because that worked so well when he tried to do it one movie ago.

-Okay, this is more the fandom reaction no mans land than the movie, but I am mystified, my good sirs, at this idea that Rian Johnson nobly made a point that Rey was a Super-Jedi and a Super-Jedi can come from anywhere, because. And you know, don’t listen to me, I just watched the movie, but it seemed like they were saying she was a Super-Jedi to balance out Kylo Ren or Snoke being a Super-Sith or to make up for the Jedi Purge, even though that wasn’t a thing back in the OT when thousands of Jedi died and Darth Vader, who is vastly more powerful than Kylo Ren, was running around. And I just feel the whole “Rey is a scrappy little nobody making good!” thing doesn’t work if also the Force has arbitrarily declared that she gets such a buttload of magic powers that the ol’ energy field is basically sticking its hand up her ass and working her like a puppet. Like, at that point, she’s a Chosen One in all but name. She’s not winning through perseverance or moxie or anything like that, it’s just that she’s arbitrarily the Superman of the Jedi Order. Her being a Palpatine doesn’t really explain her powers any better, but it doesn’t explain them any worse, for my money.

-P.S. Anyone else get the Barb & Star Go To Vista Del Mar trailer? What a cringey, offputting trailer. Like, instead of explaining the plot or making any jokes, let’s subject the audience to what feels like hours of a horrible little child singing and then act as though we’re finally making a movie about some universally loved icons even though they’re characters you’ve never heard of. I felt like I was in some universe where Saturday Night Live didn’t exist, and then some monster bought over A Night At The Roxbury from a parallel dimension and unleashed it on us anyway.

[loulougoingsolo]

“Luke, you can call me Daddy”

I’ve never come around to watching Shameless, but even I recognized Cameron Monaghan from being in it. Shameless is on my long list of series to watch, maybe this episode of GMM gives me the push I needed to get started. And Link must be so thrilled to have a real-life member of the Star Wars universe sitting by his side!

Shows that I have watched, however, give me some insight to prison food. Long before Orange Is The New Black started running, I was a fan of the British show Bad Girls, and I’ve also watched most of Oz, but OINTB is the show that took locked in culinary creations to a new level. And after watching today’s GMM with Prison Food Hacks, if I ever end up behind bars, at least I’ll have the know-how to make a pizza while I’m there.

I can guarantee that I’ve been served a much worse looking pizza at a sketchy gas station diner at some point. If I was judging food by appearance alone, that looks perfectly fine. And I’m not one bit surprised Rhett likes it, since his favourite snack used to be Ritz crackers with melted cheese on top - this is basically just that, only with some extra toppings. (And who doesn’t love melted cheese?!)

Okay, Rhett likes the nuggets, too. I was thinking he’d probably thrive in prison with his healthy appetite, and being the way he is - a huge man with all that beard, he would be so intimidating. And then he goes to say he’d be a top bunk man, and ends up explaingin himself, while Cameron (and probably every one else listening/watching) thinks he meant something else. And I learned a new word. I love it when GMM makes me think everything they say has a double meaning.

What would a prison food hack video be without prison wine, or in this case, shampoo cider. I do have a feeling the shampoo bottle labels, which were removed on GMM, might actually improve the experience of drinking that stuff, because you wouldn’t be able to see the stuff inside, but apparently, it works fine as is. (Fun fact, in Finland, similar stuff is pretty popular among underage drinkers, and I know even some guys who still make it despite being of age to buy real wine. )

Now, I was trying to describe myself what is going on in the screenshot below, and somehow “three guys pumping and squirting” does not sound appropriate. And yet...that is exactly what I’m looking at.

 As the guys proceed from wine to tasting fish, I would just like to point out that Rhett has liked everything so far, and he doesn’t absolutely hate even the fried fish. But did the crew actually build a prison deep fryer and old mayo for this, or did they cheat and use a proper one?

Oh my gosh, I ended up googling what a dermoid is, and the “bread pudding” looks exactly like one. Don’t google that. Just take my word for it. And, since no one in their right mind would think of making a bread pudding in a toilet in prison, Rhett and Cameron tie the game, and once again Link loses and doesn’t get a prison pat down from Cameron.

Somehow, Rhett manages to make Link’s squirting accident sound even more inappropriate in More, and I’m all for him making Link a little uncomfortable this way. They were drinking alcohol, and Link accidentally squirted all over Cameron. And he’s sorry. Yup.

So, the good mythical writers have written down some Star Wars themed pickup lines for the guys to judge. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m geeky enough to actually kind of prefer a good, cheesy and geeky pickup line over something less original. I’m not really a Star Wars fan, so these wouldn’t work for me, but I can think of some other franchises for source material that would. But why am I just a tad bummed by the fact that there is always someone else with Rhett and Link when they test pickup lines?

Since Valentine’s day is only a couple weeks away, I’m hoping for the Naked Attraction (that’s the dating show they talk about) GMM rip-off to be in our near future. Well, not really though. Sounds more like Naked and Afraid to me. But if it was Star Wars, aren’t wookies kinda already naked? Right?

I can safely say these pickup lines do not work for me. I know the guys thought Admiral Snack-bar was the best, but honestly, on a purely objective scale, I think the Luke and his Daddy one was brilliant. And I think Link loved it more than he was willing to admit.

Speaking of Star Wars, here’s a rec from me to end this post: the hilarious channel of Bad Lip Reading recently posted a true gem for any fan of the franchise.

[midwinterblinder]

Will you help me?

Chapter 4: No reason to sing

Tommy stares at the wall opposite him while the family is gathered for dinner. He hasn’t really touched his food as his mind is busy figuring out what could have possibly happened for Y/N to talk about herself like she did yesterday. After saying that he would never go near her again if he knew, she had made a quick exit and left Tommy to stare at the door with a solemn look on his face.

“Tommy!” Polly exclaims. She has asked him why he’s not eating at least three times now and she’s had enough. When she sees that he seems to snap out of whatever he was thinking about she continues talking. “What is going on with you?”

Tommy shakes his head, but John decides to speak up. “He’s probably still thinking about that moment with Y/N at The Garrison.” He says with his mouth filled with food. He had noticed his brother making his way over to Y/N and he could tell that something had happened when Tommy joined him later.

“What moment?” Polly asks as her eyes flit across Tommy’s face to look for any clue as to what happened, but Tommy doesn’t say anything. “What is he talking about, Thomas?” Polly presses.

“That new barmaid was singing, and Y/N was having a tough time, so Tommy went over.” John speaks up once again as Tommy doesn’t seem to have any intention to. Arthur watches the conversation with a frown on his face. He doesn’t understand Tommy these days, not when it comes to the business and not when it comes to Y/N. Finn seems oblivious to the tension and continues to eat, whilst Ada shakes her head at her brother’s inability to communicate properly.

“That woman shouldn’t have been singing.” Tommy voice is sharp as he pulls out a cigarette. He blames Grace for upsetting Y/N like that, though he knows it’s more than that. But as long as Y/N won’t tell him the deeper reason, he will focus his anger on the direct catalyst; Grace and her singing.

Polly watches as he lights the cigarette and take a few aggressive puffs before settling down slightly. She sees the anger he feels, but she also knows that it’s not just anger; he feels helpless and the only way he can let that out is through anger. She’s about to speak up again when there’s a knock on the door.

Rising from her seat Polly makes her way to the door and Tommy straightens up in his chair when he sees his aunt come back in with Y/N. “Oh I didn’t realize you were having dinner, I’m sorry.” Y/N says as she stops walking while Polly finds her way back to her seat.

“Don’t be.” Arthur tells her as he stands up to get another seat. “Sit down, have some food. You’re getting far too thin.” He says as he bustles around the room to get her a plate and some cutlery. He doesn't know what exactly caused Tommy and Y/N to fall apart, but he thinks his brother is an idiot for ever letting her go.

“It’s fine Arthur, I’ll eat later.” She tries to persuade him, but he just keeps going. She didn’t plan on staying long. She just wanted to tell one of the brothers what happened and go home, but it doesn’t look like that’s an option anymore as a place is prepared for her at the table and the others urge her to join as well.

Tommy is the only one that doesn’t speak up, but his eyes follow every movement she makes. “What’s that?” He asks as she takes off her coat and he notices a new bandage on her arm. He’s sure that it’s not from the shards of glass, because those are almost completely healed and he has practically memorized where each of those cuts where on her hands and arms. No this is a new wound and it only makes him angrier; why doesn’t anyone let her live in peace?

“It’s just a cut, it was an accident.” Y/N assures him. She can see the emotions swimming in his eyes, but there’s no need for him to get angry. “Danny had one of his episodes again and he had a knife.” She tells them as she nods at Arthur in thanks as he puts some food on her plate. “His other victim looks a bit worse though.” She sighs as she shakes her head.

“Other victim?” Ada’s eyes widen as she asks the question. She has never seen Danny when he’s like that, but she has heard enough stories to know that no one is safe around him when it happens.

“He, uh.” Y/N glances at Finn, unsure if she should continue or not. There’s no need for the boy to hear this.

“Finn go play in your room.” John tells him, and the young boy puts up a fight and complains, but eventually leaves the room. As soon as he’s gone the eyes of the remaining Shelby’s urge her to continue.

“He killed an Italian before I could get to him.” She says as she closes her eyes to force the image from her mind. “They saw him do it, so they’ll come for him.” She opens her eyes again and they meet Tommy’s. “I just thought I should let you know.”

Tommy maintains eye-contact as he nods. “I’ll deal with it.” He tells her. The look on her face makes him want to change the subject as soon as possible, and after a moment of silence he speaks up again. “Harry gave me Grace’s references and I’ve got men looking into it.” He lets her know.

Y/N nods as she recalls their brief conversation about Grace. “It’s just a feeling, there’s probably nothing wrong with her.” She tries to brush it off.

Polly raises her eyebrows as she looks at Y/N. “It’s not just a feeling, Y/N, it’s your gift.” She tells the younger woman. “You should have a bit more faith in your gypsy side, it has always been right in the past.” She adds. Y/N’s mother was half Romani, so Polly believes it’s in Y/N’s blood. Whenever Y/N has a bad feeling about someone when she meets them for the first time, she turns out to be right. A new teacher at school, who they later found out beat his wife. A new baker in town, who turned out to be blackmailing some of his costumers. Her feeling, or intuition as Polly calls it, has always been right.

“Well, we will find out soon enough.” Tommy says as takes a drag from his cigarette before putting it out if the ashtray in the middle of the table and finally taking a bite from his food.

“John tells me the new barmaid was singing yesterday.” Polly casually remarks; if Tommy won’t give her an answer then she’ll try to get it out of Y/N. Though that is proving to be more difficult than it used to be. Before the war Y/N told Polly everything, but that’s not the case anymore.

Y/N tenses up and her eyes flicker to Tommy for a moment but then fall back to her plate. “She was.” She says and quickly takes another bite in the hope that Polly will let it rest, but she should have known better.

“He says you were having a tough time listening to it, dear.” Polly’s face softens as she sees how uncomfortable Y/N seems. “Why don’t you sing anymore?” She asks softly as she reaches out to touch Y/N’s hand, but the younger woman pulls it out of her reach and rests it in her lap.

“I have no reason to sing anymore.” Y/N says softly, but everyone hears her because they’ve all fallen silent at this point. “It just brought back some memories, that’s all.” She says as she forces a smile on her face; she doesn’t want to get into this. What happened in the office with Tommy was bad enough, she doesn’t want to relive that.

Tommy clenches his jaw as he sees the pain in Y/N’s eyes. Why did Polly bring it up again? Why won’t she just leave this alone? None of this has anything to do with her, so she needs to stay out of it. “See, that’s all.” He says once he’s sure the words will come out calm. “No reason to turn it into something bigger.” He adds, and he nods at Y/N as she sends him a grateful look. What happened is something between him and her, and the rest of his family doesn’t need to know.

A deep sigh leaves Tommy as he closes the door to the house. It’s been a long day and he needs some air. First pretending to shoot Danny, then Arthur’s complaints about Monaghan Boy winning, only to end the day with lying to his aunt about doing the right thing with the guns. He knows she’ll never understand why he did it, but it’s too good an opportunity to pass up on.

He lights up a cigarette and walks in the direction of The Garrison. The new barmaid is standing outside smoking. She heads inside just as Y/N leaves for the day, and he watches as the two exchange goodbyes at the door before Y/N starts walking while rummaging through her purse. “Here.” He says as he offers her his cigarette, which causes her to look up and notice him. “I assume that’s what you were looking for.” He adds as he gestures at her purse.

“It was.” Y/N says as she takes it from him. She hadn’t noticed him, because she was busy looking in her purse and now she’s not sure what else to say to him. They haven’t really spoken since the dinner. “You going for a drink?” She decides to ask as she nods towards The Garrison before taking a drag.

Tommy shakes his head as he watches her lips wrap around the cigarette exactly where his were a moment before; it’s probably as close as he’ll ever come to kissing her again. “I was just going for a walk.” He tells her.

Y/N nods and lets her eyes go over his face. She frowns when she notices the tiny specks of what looks to be blood on his collar. Before she can stop herself, her hand raises and her fingers brush the edge of his collar. “What happened?”

A frown appears on Tommy’s face as he wonders what she’s talking about, but then he remembers the remnants of sheep brain he had to wipe of his face after shooting Danny. Some of it must have ended up on his collar. “It’s just some splatter of sheep brain that I shot at Danny to make the Italians believe he’s dead.” He says and watches as her hand moves away from him again and she takes another drag of the cigarette before throwing it to the ground. “They wanted him dead for what he did, so I made them believe he is. Charlie is taking him out of town.”

She nods in understanding, relief washes over her now that she knows Danny will be okay, and she watches Tommy pulls out a cigarette for himself. “Does your walk happen to be going that way?” She asks him softly as she gestures in the direction she’ll take to get home. As scared as she is that he will bring up what happened in The Garrison the other night, it doesn’t change the fact that she still wants to be close to him.

“It is now.” Tommy says, and they look at each other for a moment before they start walking. He’s glad she asked, glad that she’s not pushing him away now like she did in the office of The Garrison the other day. “I heard back from the men that went to check the barmaid’s references.” He says as he blows out some smoke. His free hand stuffed in his pocket as he walks next to Y/N, once again wishing he could reach out and take her hand. “She never worked in Dublin, no one there has heard of her.” He lets her know. “You’re feeling was right.”

Y/N frowns. “Not necessarily.” She says as she pulls her coat tighter around her. “Maybe she just wanted to get away from her old life; it doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s something bad about her.” She explains after Tommy gives her a questioning look.

“If she wanted to get away from something, it must have been bad.” Tommy says with a shake of his head; why does she still not trust her own intuition? “And if the bad follows her here, then that’s bad too.” He adds.

“Maybe it won’t.” Y/N shrugs as they come to a stop before her house. “Maybe she’s just another lost soul.” She mutters before she takes her keys out of her purse. “Goodnight, Tommy.”

“Goodnight.” He nods at her and once again waits until she has shut the door behind her, before he leaves. It’s a habit he developed when they were together. He feared that it wasn’t safe for her alone on the streets, so he stayed until he was sure she was safe inside. He even waited until he heard her key turn to lock the door from the inside. He once told Arthur, who laughed at him and said he was whipped. John had been more understanding. He was smitten with Martha at the time and understood why Tommy did it. He shakes his head at the memory of John telling Arthur to stop being jealous because he didn’t have a girl of his own, and picks up his pace.

[thornfield13713]

Observations on Jeremiah Valeska

Do not be fooled - this guy is one Extra motherfucker. I mean - ok, yes, this is a melodramatic show already, but...well. The staying in the shadows until he can dramatically reveal himself as if he’s the Beast and Gordon is Maurice. The extended and at least partly fabricated ‘let me tell you about my tragic backstory’ monologue. The hundred-acre underground maze that Jeremiah lives in the centre of like the world’s most paranoid and nerdy minotaur. Ok, yes, this is small potatoes next to everything he gets up to post-spray, but I think we can say with some certainty that this shit was a part of Jeremiah’s personality right from the start.

Rather more confusingly - it’s the middle of the night. Jeremiah lives in an underground bunker and does not seem to have had any visitors since before the Wayne Murders. He may be expecting a visit from the police in the near future, but he has no way of knowing when. And he is wearing a full suit, tie, sweater vest and a goddamn tie pin. I have two theories about this one. One of them is that Jeremiah spent the whole time between buzzing the police in and Ecco bringing them to his door frantically getting presentable because he was not going to deal with the police in his pyjamas. The other is that Jeremiah just likes being dressed up nicely, even if it’s only for his own benefit. I’m not sure which of these I prefer. On the one hand, option A explains why he only seems to own one outfit. On the other, I just rather like the idea that Jeremiah wakes up in his bunker at whatever hour of the day and dresses as fastidiously as if he were going into the office before settling in to work or read or whatever it is he does with himself all day. This is kind of supported by the fact that, while we only ever see Jeremiah in one suit, it’s a pretty flamboyant suit - rust-red with a green shirt, purple sweater vest and tie, plus accessories? This is not someone who dresses to blend in.

He’s kind of a hedgehog. A lot of pre-spray Jeremiah fics I’ve seen characterise him as soft or shy, and that just isn’t what seems to be going on here. Shyness is defined as nervousness or timidity around other people, and while Jeremiah is clearly socially inexperienced, he doesn’t come off as timid. Quite the reverse. He’s fairly confident in his dealings with Gordon and Bullock once the guns are put away, gets downright confrontational with Gordon when Gordon is trying to talk him into giving himself up to Jerome in ‘That’s Entertainment’. He’s generally polite and reserved, yes, but honestly his behaviour reads more as prickly than shy. Where this does have a basis is in his dynamic with Bruce. It takes very little real attention from Bruce to draw Jeremiah out of his shell, and I’m going to bet that this is because of how Bruce first approaches him, in contrast with basically everyone else Jeremiah interacts with. Bruce greets him civilly, asks about his work, and compliments his mind. In an interview, Cameron Monaghan describes this as the first time he’s ever connected emotionally or intellectually with another human being, and it’s conveyed that way. Everything about Jeremiah softens when Bruce asks about his work, and there’s something very compelling about that dynamic. I’d have liked to see it played out across a few more episodes before Jeremiah went off the deep end.

He definitely isn’t neurotypical even pre-spray. Now, ok, I will be the first to admit I will headcanon mental health issues onto anyone I vaguely identify with, because...well. Socially anxious autistic who would actually quite like to live in an underground bunker-maze with no interaction with the outside world. Jeremiah is paranoid to the point of building an entire elaborate bunker complex and cutting himself off entirely from the outside world in fear of his brother. He did this six years ago, probably before Jeremiah even returned to Gotham, and definitely at least three years before Jerome gave any indication that he might be looking for his twin. Even the lies that got him sent away from home seem to have been born out of genuine terror of his brother. This may or may not be justified, but even when speaking to Jerome, whom he doesn’t need to keep up an act around, Jeremiah maintains that Jerome would have hurt or killed him eventually. He also displays problems with empathy, as when he mentions the recent, gruesome death of his employer at his twin’s hands, and seems genuinely afraid of leaving his bunker even when he believes he has Jerome trapped in the maze. Some of this might just be the effects of the way he has chosen to live - prolonged solitary confinement is not good for anyone, and we’re given no indication about just how regular a visitor to the bunker Ecco is - but all of it suggests that Jeremiah was already neurodivergent before the gas.

I’m still a bit confused about how old this guy’s supposed to be. According to Wikipedia’s article on Jerome, the twins are twenty-one as of S4. According to the episode in which Jeremiah debuts, the brothers last saw each other at the age of ten and Jerome has been waiting to confront Jeremiah for fifteen years, putting them at twenty-five. Either way, this creates a few issues with regards to backstory, one of them being that Jeremiah has been living in his bunker for six years, putting him at 15-19 when construction was completed. Jerome claims to the crowd that Jeremiah was adopted by a wealthy family and went to a top college, but I’m just having trouble working out how to fit all this in. Adoption by a rich family would explain both how he ended up at St Ignatius, which looks like a seriously expensive institution to send a kid to, and how he was able to finance the building of his bunker, but Zach Valeska explicitly names the school, rather than a particular family, and when Gordon makes the deduction that Jeremiah was placed at St Ignatius by Zach, Jeremiah doesn’t deny it. Granted, Jeremiah is not an altogether reliable source, given we know he lies elsewhere in this conversation, but this part of the story is one of the few things we have outside confirmation on. I’m inclined to believe the adoption happened while he was at St Ignatius, but I’m still unclear about precisely how long he was there, or when his adoptive parents stopped being a part of his life, as they don’t appear to be in the picture by the time Jeremiah is introduced.

The effects of the gas seem to be degenerative. In ‘That Old Corpse’, when Jeremiah reveals himself as Joker, he’s still cool, calm, composed and rather prickly with everyone but Bruce, and a distinctly no-nonsense sort of supervillain. It’s just his moral compass which is skewed. By ‘Ruin’, he’s in full-scale hammy villainy and having arguments with himself in two different voices. It sort of parallels the degeneration of the Batman Who Laughs, who starts his reign of terror by matter-of-factly gunning down the entire Batfamily, but whose plans get more and more elaborate until finally he’s dosing Superman with black Kryptonite which mutates him into a monster and having him tear Lois Lane limb from limb.  I’m not quite sure how long the degeneration took. Logically, to have Jerome buried with a headstone by the start of ‘That Old Corpse’, it has to have been somewhere in the range of three weeks to a month, especially as all of those generators had to be built when in ‘That’s Entertainment’ they’re still a purely theoretical design. Taking into account supply and demand, and how long it would take for two people working alone to do that, I’m comfortable estimating it as a month.

It’s also notable how he responds to Jerome calling him out on the lie. 'Maybe it didn't happen exactly like that, but  but I didn't have a choice, and I was right.’ That’s...an interesting turn of phrase. The thing is, Jeremiah is very obviously afraid of his brother. He’s terrified in every scene they share and, even after Jerome is dead, Jeremiah’s desire to re-create Gotham as a giant maze is linked to his fear of Jerome. But there’s a clear shift here - he’s downright tentative on ‘maybe it didn’t happen exactly like that’. Which...that can be read as suggesting something did happen to make him afraid of his brother killing him before he was sent away, or that Jeremiah has spent the last fifteen years convincing himself of his own lies because he doesn’t actually want to deal with the fact that his lies might have played a role in Jerome actually becoming as bad as he feared. To be clear, this is in no way his fault - he was ten. He was ten years old and no decent, rational adult responds to a ten-year-old claiming their brother threatened them with a knife by holding a kid’s hand in boiling chicken stock whenever he stole a cookie for the rest of his childhood! But it is interesting that Jeremiah seems to feel the need to justify this to himself and to Jerome. Coupled with the fact that he is shown looking distinctly shell-shocked and tearful at the sight of Jerome’s corpse, and I think he does feel guilty about what his brother became, even if he talks a good game about Jerome having been born bad.

[davidmann95]

Superman Starter Pack

First and most importantly, before we go into petty commercial concerns, let’s remember the meaning of the day I orginally posted this. Because friends, it was no ordinary day: it was Miracle Monday, the anniversary of Superman triumphing over no less than the biblical prince of darkness himself (or at least a respectable substitute), and it was so awesome that even though it was expunged from humanity’s collective consciousness, they still instinctively recognized the third Monday of May as a day of good cheer to be celebrated in Superman’s honor from now until the end of time.

I know I write plenty about Superman on here, but with as much as a pain as comics can be to get into, I’m sure at least some of those I’m lucky enough to have follow me haven’t been able to find an easy in for the character. Or maybe a follower-of-a-follower or friend-of-a-friend is looking for a reasonable place to start. So in the spirit of the season, I’ll toss on the (admittedly already pretty massive) pile of recommended starting points on Superman: ten stories in a recommended - but by no means strict - order that should, as a whole, give you a pretty decent idea of what Superman’s deal is and why you should care, all of which you should be able to find pretty easily on Comixology or a local bookstore/comic book shop.

1. Superman: Birthright

What it’s about: It’s his origin. He gets rocketed to Earth from the doomed planet Krypton, he gets raised by farmers, he puts on tights to fight crime, he meets Lois Lane and Lex Luthor, he deals with Kryptonite, all the standard-issue Superman business.

Why you should read it: It does all that stuff better than anyone else. He’s had a few different takes on his origins over the years due to a series of reboots, another of those tellings is even further down the list, but the first major modern one pretty much hit the nail on the head first try. It toes the tricky line of humanizing him without making you forget that hey, he’s Superman, it’s high-action fun without skimping on the character, and if there’s any one story that does the best job of conveying why you should look at an invincible man-god all but beyond sin or death with no major inciting incident in his background as a likable, relatable character, this is it. Add in some of the best Lane and Luthor material out there, and it’s a no-brainer.

Further recommendations if you liked it: About a decade before writing Birthright, its author Mark Waid worked with Alex Ross on what ended up one of DC’s biggest comics ever, Kingdom Come, the story of a brutal near-future of out-of-control superheroes that ultimately narrowed down to being about Superman above all else, and one of his most popular and influential stories of all time at that. Years after Birthright he created Irredeemable, the story of a Superman pastiche named Plutonian gone murderously rogue and how he reached his breaking point, illustrating a lot of what makes Superman special by way of contrast.

(Since Superman’s had so many notable homage/analogue/pastiche/rip-off/whatever-you-want-to-call-it characters compared to other superheroes, often in very good stories, there’ll be a number of those stories on this list.)

2. Superman: Up, Up and Away

What: Ever seen Superman Returns? That, but good. Clark Kent’s been living and loving a normal life as a reporter and husband after a cosmic dust-up in one of DC’s event comics took Superman off the board for a year, but mounting threats demand his return to save Metropolis again, if he still can.

Why: If you’d rather skip the origin, this is as a good a place as you’ll find to jump onboard. Clark and Lois both get some solid characterization, a number of classic villains have solid screentime, there’s some interesting Kryptonian mythology sticking its head in without being too intrusive, a great overarching threat to Metropolis, and it captures how Superman’s powers work in a visceral sense better than almost anything else. If you just want a classic, pick-it-up-and-go Fun Superman Story, this is where to go.

Recommendations: If you liked this, you’ll probably be inclined to enjoy the rest of co-writer Geoff Johns’ run on Action Comics, including most popularly Legion of Superheroes and Brainiac, both with artist Gary Frank. Another series tapping into that classic Superman feeling pretty well - regardless of whether you enjoyed the original show or not - is Smallville: Season 11, showing the adventures of that series’ young Clark Kent once he finally becomes Superman. Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason’s run on the main Superman title under the banner of DC Rebirth tried to maintain that feeling, properly introducing Jon Kent, Lois and Clark’s 10-year-old-son, as Superboy in what seems to be a permanent addition to the cast and mythology; your mileage on its success may vary, but Volume 2, Trials of the Super Sons, represents the best of it. And the current Superman work by Brian Bendis - beginning with his The Man Of Steel miniseries and spinning off into both Superman and Action Comics - while controversial, presents a very similar take on Superman to the one seen in Up, Up and Away and a similar sensibility, to very positive results.

3. Superman: Secret Identity

What: He’s Clark Kent, an aspiring writer from a farm town in Kansas. Problem is he’s only named after the other guy, an ordinary teenager who’s put up with crap his whole life for being named after a comic book character in an ordinary world. But when he suddenly finds himself far closer to his namesake than he ever would have imagined, it becomes the journey of his life to find how to really be a Superman.

Why: The best ‘realistic’ Superman story by a long shot, this doesn’t sideline its heart in favor of pseudo-science justifications for what he can do, or the sociopolitical impact of his existence. He has the powers, he wears the costume to save people (though he never directly reveals himself to the world), and in-between he lives his life and learns what it means to be a good man. It’s quiet and sweet and deeply human, and probably one of the two or three best Superman comics period.

Recommendations: If you like the low-key, pastoral aesthetic, you might enjoy Superman for All Seasons, or Supergirl: Being Super, and the one-shot Man and Superman by Marv Wolfman and Claudio Castellini has something of a similar down-to-Earth feel. I’d also recommend Jeff Loveness and Tom Grummet’s Glasses in Mysteries Of Love In Space. If you’d like more of writer Kurt Busiek’s work, his much-beloved series Astro City - focusing on a different perspective in the superhero-stuffed metropolis in every story - opens with A Dream of Flying, set from the point of view of the Superman-like Samaritan, telling of his quiet sorrow of never being to fly simply for its own sake in a world of dangers demanding his attention.

4. Of Thee I Sing

What: Gotham hitman Tommy Monaghan heads to the roof of Noonan’s bar for a smoke. Superman happens to be there at the time. They talk.

Why: A lot of people call this the best Superman story of the 90s, and they’re not wrong. Writer Garth Ennis doesn’t make any bones about hating the superhero genre in general (as evidenced by their treatment in the rest of Hitman), but he has a sincere soft spot for Superman as an ideal of what we - and specifically Americans - are supposed to be, and he pours it all out here in a story of what it means for Superman to fail, and why he remains Superman regardless. It sells the idea that an unrepentant killer - even one only targeting ‘bad guys’ like Tommy - would unabashedly consider Superman his hero, and that’s no small feat.

Recommendations: If you read Hitman #34 and love it but don’t intend to check out the rest of the series (why? It’s amazing), go ahead and read JLA/Hitman, a coda to the book showing the one time Tommy got caught up in the Justice League’s orbit, and what happens when Superman learns the truth about his profession, culminating in a scene that sums up What Superman Is All About better than maybe any other story. Tom King and Andy Kubert’s Superman: Up In The Sky, while not without blemish (there’s a rightly-controversial chapter involving Lois that precludes universal recommendation), is a similarly humane look at Superman and the clash of his iconic power and mortal limitations. If you appreciated the idea of a classically decent Superman in an indecent world, you might enjoy Al Ewing’s novel Gods of Manhattan (the middle of a loose pulp adventure trilogy with El Sombra and Pax Omega, which I’ve discussed in the past), starring Doc Savage and Superman analogue Doc Thunder warring with a fascistic new vigilante in a far different New York City.

5. Superman: Camelot Falls

What: On top of a number of other threats hitting Superman from all sides, he receives a prophecy from the wizard Arion, warning of a devastating future when mankind is faced with its ultimate threat; a threat it will be too weak to overcome due to Superman’s protection over the years, but will still only just barely survive without him. Will he abandon humanity to a new age of darkness, or try and fight fate to save them knowing it could lead to their ultimate extinction?

Why: From the writer of Secret Identity and co-writer of Up, Up and Away!, this is probably the best crack at the often-attempted “Would having Superman be around actually be a good thing for humanity in the long term?” story. Beyond having the courtesy of wrapping that idea up in a really solid adventure rather than having everyone solemnly ruminate for the better part of a year, it comes at it from an angle that doesn’t feel like cheating either logically or in terms of the characters, and it’s an extremely underrated gem.

Recommendations: For the same idea tackled in a very different way, there’s the much better-known Superman: Red Son, showing the hero he would have become growing up in the Soviet Union rather than the United States; going after similar ideas is the heartfelt Superman: Peace on Earth. The rest of Kurt Busiek’s time on the main Superman title was great too, even if this stood easily as the centerpiece; his other trades were Back In Action, Redemption, The Third Kryptonian, and Shadows Linger. Speaking of underrated gems, Gail Simone’s run on Action Comics from around the same time with John Byrne was also great, collected in Strange Attractors. And since the story opens with an excellent one-shot centered around his marriage to Lois, I have to recommend From Krypton With Love if you can track it down in Superman 80-Page Giant #2, and Thom Zahler’s fun Lois-and-Clark style webcomic Love and Capes.

6. Superman Adventures

What: A spinoff of Superman: The Animated Series, this quietly chugged along throughout the latter half of the 90s as the best of the Superman books at the time.

Why: Much as stories defining his character and world are important, the bread and butter of Superman is just regular old fun comics, and there’s no better place to go than here for fans of any and all ages. Almost all of its 66 issues were at least pretty fun, but by far most notable were two runs in particular - Scott McCloud, the guy who would go on to literally write the book on the entire medium in Understanding Comics, handled the first year, and Mark Millar prior to his breakout success wrote a number of incredibly charming and sincere Superman stories here, including arguably the best Luthor story in How Much Can One Man Hate?, and a full comic on every page in 22 Stories In A Single Bound.

Recommendations: Superman has an embarrassment of riches when it comes to runs of just plain fun comics. For the youngest in your family, Superman Family Adventures might just be what you’re looking for. Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the Eighth Grade would fit on your shelf very well next to Superman Adventures. Superman: Secret Origin, while not the absolute best take on his early days, has some real charm and would be an ideal introduction for younger readers that won’t talk down to them in the slightest, and that you’ll probably like yourself (especially since it seems to be the ‘canon’ Superman origin again). If you’re interested in something retro, The Superman Chronicles cover his earliest stories from the 30s and 40s, and Showcase Presents: Superman collects many of his most classic adventures from the height of his popularity in the 50s and 60s. Age of the Sentry and Alan Moore’s Supreme would also work well. For slightly older kids (i.e. middle school), they might get a kick out of Mark Millar and Lenil Yu’s Superior, or What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice, and the American Way? And finally, for just plain fun Superman runs, I can’t ignore the last year of Joe Casey’s much-overlooked time on The Adventures of Superman.

7. Superman vs. Lex Luthor

What: Exactly what it says on the tin: a collection of 12 Luthor stories from his first appearance to the early 21st century.

Why: Well, he’s Superman’s biggest enemy, that’s why, and even on his own is one of the best villains of all time. Thankfully, this is an exceptionally well-curated collection of his greatest hits; pouring through this should give you more than a good idea of what makes him tick.

Recommendations: While he has a number of great showings in Superman-centric comics, his two biggest solo acts outside of this would be Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo’s Luthor (originally titled Lex Luthor: Man of Steel) and Paul Cornell’s run on Action Comics, where Lex took over the book for about a year. Also, one of Superman’s best writers, Elliot S! Maggin, contributed a few stories here - he’s best known for his brilliant Superman novels Last Son of Krypton and the aforementioned Miracle Monday, and he wrote a number of other great tales I picked some highlights from in another article.

8. Grant Morrison’s Action Comics

What: Spanning years, it begins in a different version of Superman’s early days, where an as-yet-flightless Clark Kent in a t-shirt and jeans challenged corrupt politicians, grappling with the public’s reaction to its first superhero even as his first true menace approaches from the stars. Showing his growth over time into the hero he becomes, he slowly realizes that his life has been subtly influenced by an unseen but all-powerful threat, one that in the climax will set Superman’s greatest enemies’ against him in a battle not just for his life, but for all of reality.

Why: The New 52 period for Superman was a controversial one at best, and I’d be the last to deny it went down ill-advised roads and made outright bone-stupid decisions. But I hope if nothing else this run is evaluated in the long run the way it deserves; while the first arc is framed as something of a Superman origin story, it becomes clear quickly that this is about his life as a whole, and his journey from a cocksure young champion of the oppressed in way over his head, to a self-questioning godling unsure of the limits of his responsibilities as his powers increase, and finally an assured, unstoppable Superman fighting on the grandest cosmic scale possible against the same old bullies. It gives him a true character arc without undermining his essential Superman-ness, and by the end it’s a contender for the title of the biggest Superman story of all.

Recommendations: Most directly, Morrison did a one-off mini-sequel to this run in Sideways Annual #1, where he gets to give his creation of t-shirt Superman a proper sendoff after he was quickly retconned out of the main line. Outside of this, Greg Pak’s runs on Action Comics and Batman/Superman, and Tom Taylor/Robson Rocha’s 3-issue Batman/Superman stint, as well as Scott Snyder, Jim Lee and Dustin Nguyen’s blockbuster mini Superman Unchained, are the best of the New 52 era. If you’re looking for more wild cosmic Superman adventure stories, Grant Morrison’s Superman Beyond is a beautiful two-part adventure (it ties in to his event comic Final Crisis but largely works standalone), and Joe Casey’s Mr. Majestic was a largely great set of often trippy cosmic-scale adventure comics with its Superman-esque lead. For something a little more gonzo, maybe try the hilariously bizarre Coming of the Supermen by Neal Adams. And while his role in it is relatively minor, if we’re talking cosmic Superman-related epics, Jack Kirby’s Fourth World has to be mentioned - it’s soon being reisssued once again in omnibus format.

9. Superman: Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?

What: More than just the title story, DC issued a collection of all three of Watchmen writer Alan Moore’s Superman stories: For The Man Who Has Everything, where Superman finds himself trapped in his idea of his ideal life while Batman, Wonder Woman and Robin are in deadly danger in the real world, Jungle Line, where a deliriously ill and seemingly terminal Superman finds help in the most unexpected place, and Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?, Moore’s version of the final Superman story.

Why: Dark Superman stories are a tricky tightrope to walk - go too far and you invalidate the core his world is built around - but Moore’s pretty dang good at his job. Whatever Happened you should wait to read until you’ve checked out some Superman stories from the 1960s first since it’s very much meant as a contrast to those, but For The Man Who Has Everything is an interesting look at Superman’s basic alienation (especially in regards to his characterization in that period of his publication history) with a gangbuster final fight, and Jungle Line is a phenomenal Superman horror story that uncovers some of his rawest, most deeply buried fears.

Recommendations: There are precious few other dark Superman stories that can be considered any real successes outside a few mentioned among other recommendations; the closest I can think of is Superman: For Tomorrow, which poses some interesting questions framed by gorgeous art, but has a reach tremendously exceeding its grasp. Among similar characters though, there are some real winners; Moore’s own time on Miracleman was one of the first and still one of the most effective looks at what it would mean for a Superman-like being to exist in the real world, and the seminal novel Superfolks, while in many ways of its time, was tremendously and deservedly influential on generations of creators. Moore had another crack at the end of a Superman-like figure in his Majestic one-shot, and the Change or Die arc of Warren Ellis’ run on Stormwatch (all of which is worth reading) presented a powerful, bittersweet look at a superman’s attempt at truly changing the world for the better.

10. All-Star Superman

What: Superman rescues the first manned mission to the sun, sabotaged by Lex Luthor. His powers have reached greater heights than ever from the solar overexposure, but it’s more than his cells can handle: he’s dying, and Lex has won at last. This is what Superman does with his last year of life.

Why: I put this at the bottom since it works better the more you like Superman, but if you’re only going to read one story on this list, this one has to be it. It’s one of the best superhero stories period, and it’s everything that’s wistful and playful and sad and magical and wonderful about Superman in one book.

Recommendations: If you’re interested in the other great “Death of Superman” story, skip the 90s book and go to co-creator Jerry Siegel and Curt Swan’s 60s ‘Imaginary Story’, also one of the best Superman stories ever, and particularly one of Luthor’s best showings. If you got a kick out of the utopian ‘Superman fixes everything’ feel of a lot of it, try The Amazing Story of Superman-Red and Superman-Blue! The Supergirl run of Steve Orlando tries to operate on a pretty similar wavelength, and was definitely the best thing coming out of the Superman family of books at the time. The recent Adventures of Superman anthology series has a number of creators try and do their own ‘definitive’ Superman stories, often to great results. Help, ostensibly a Lex Luthor story by Jeff Loveness and David Williams in DC’s Beach Blanket Bad Guy’s Special, is in fact as feel-good a take on Superman’s relevancy as there is. And Avengers 34.1 starring Hyperion by Al Ewing and Dale Keown taps into All-Star’s sense of an elevated alien perspective paired with a deep well of humanity to different but still moving results.