#doctors are more likely to develop ocd on average.

[appendectomy]

the ocd fairy has visited me with visions of james wilson. i am not projecting he just definitely has it.

[callipraxia]

Continuing from the conversation in the reblogs of the link below the keep-reading, since while the broad subject of "let's ramble about mental illness and substance abuse metaphors in this kids' show!" is still the same, I'm on to talking about a different character (Specifically, Fiddleford)/realized belatedly that the OP might appreciate this.

So, Fiddleford and his memory gun.

It is, as usual, impossible to be 100% sure of much about the Portal era, considering that Ford's view of reality seems to have already started becoming distorted by the time he began writing Journal 3, and it is true that Fiddleford's signs of trauma after, say, the gremlobin incident, or his nerves when he realized what the probability of failure was, were actually pretty reasonable responses to the things that he was going through. However, Ford does act as though he's always been a bit concerned about Fiddleford's nerves, and when everything is taken into account, it seems more probable than not that the man does/did suffer from some form of anxiety disorder, probably in the OCD 'family.' Once I accept this premise, his story rapidly becomes a solid metaphor about the dangers of self-medicating.

Yes, yes, I know. The moral of the story is to deal with your problems...but nevertheless: the memory gun works as a metaphor for drugs and compulsions and how they don't really solve your problems, and it works especially well, I think, as a metaphor for alcohol and/or sedatives (Ativan, Valium, etc.). When used judiciously and with deliberate goals and limits, these things can be highly useful, or at least do more good than harm (alcohol is an antiseptic, for a lot of history it has been safer to drink than the average water supply, and it at least used to sometimes be 'prescribed' to people with certain heart problems who couldn't afford expensive medications, nerve pills are actual medicine, and as for the gun, we have the canon examples of the end of 'A Tale of Two Stans' and the finale). If you start to feel you need a drink after work every day to keep coping with your job, though, or needing a nightcap just to go to sleep...that can go real bad, and that's if you aren't developing this habit on top of OCD and/or one of its sister disorders. Fiddleford does appear to have such a disorder, and while he already had some ritualistic behavior (his Cubik's Cube, his alleged superstitions around graves, his tendency toward trichotillomania, the amount he checks and rechecks his work), he really loses control of himself when he gets access to the memory gun.

I suspect, between the temptation to instant relief it presented him every minute of every day and the secretive nature of it (no doctor supervising him, nobody frowning disapprovingly into his trash can, etc.) that memory gunning himself at the slightest inconvenience became both addictive drug and compulsion for him at some point, to the point that he was eventually frying his brain for even such a minor stressor as cutting himself shaving - or rather, for such seemingly minor stressors, since to him...who knows what that looked like? Anxiety Brain is wonderful at forming objectively sketchy connections that spiral into long chains of increasingly frantic 'reasoning.' From an outside viewer's perspective: it's a scratch, big deal. A path I could imagine Fiddleford's brain going along might run more like: "I cut myself shaving - why are my hands so shaky, why did that happen - were my hands even shaking, or was I just not paying attention? I can't do anything right! I can't even shave right, never mind raise a kid right! Which reminds me that I haven't seen my son in six months, I might as well have been cheating on my wife, I'm a terrible husband, a terrible father, just a terrible man, why didn't I do something before things got so out of control?? I could have stopped all of this, but now my Friend is out of his mind, he might end the world any day now, I don't know if my wife would have me back at this point if I even had the guts to go home and beg, and now I have this cult to run - but how can I run a cult when I can't even be man enough to face my own family? And it's slipping out of my control, I never meant things to go this far - They're all gonna turn on me, Stanford and Ivan and Emma-May are all gonna team up and murder me, oh God, it all makes sense now - !").

And then the gun made all that noise just...stop. He could sleep. He could run a cult. He could do things other than worry about Ford blowing up the planet any day now, or what was going on at home, or if the things he saw in the gremlobin's eyes could really happen. As soon as it started, he could just...make it all go away, as often as he wanted, at the click of a button. And by the time the side effects started becoming obvious, and he was losing his ability to speak properly and tearing his hair out without even remembering he'd done it and stealing clothes off scarecrows, well...thinking about those side effects, wondering if this thing he feels he cannot live without anymore could be responsible for them, was almost as distressing as thinking about all those motor accidents. Which, naturally, meant it was time for another mind wipe/drink....

So, there, started a couple of days ago and then delayed until I found this tab again though it is, you have it, @gravi-mania - the tale of how one could, if so inclined, warp the backstory of Gravity Falls into a story about bright young things whose lives fall apart courtesy of one of them getting too many uppers and the other getting too many downers. Make the framing device "Stan finally got out of prison after thirty years and went to visit his brother in the state hospital, where Ford laid eyes on him and immediately started yelling about portals and the end of the world and Stan doesn't even know what; as a result, Stan decides to stick around long enough to narrate the whole sorry tale, Prince of Tides-style, to the new doctor Ford seems to think is their nephew," and you could even get some super-depressing sober commentary on society and the justice system in there, too, along with at least very slightly lowering the research load, since sticking to that point of view would limit the scope of things to what he could see/what he knows about rather than going too deep into everyone else's heads and happenings. Though tbh, I suspect going with "yeah, let's just...not" is still the wisest possible course of action all around. really.

[theunlikelycygnet]

A Validation

I took a test today. Different than the other tests I’ve taken. And if you ask my mother (and believe me, I did) I should keep off the internet and live my life. I’m successful. I have friends. And she, like everyone else, has never believed what I’ve come to suspect - I’m autistic. I’ve never said it like that before. It’s always, “I understand autistic kids,” or “I have a lot of autistic-like traits” or even, when I’m feeling very spicy, “I think I might have autism”. Every few years I read a new book on autism or discover a new speaker with autism telling her story and the thought crosses my mind - “That’s how I feel”. I’m a doctor. I can refer children for an autism diagnosis. I can write a paper on genome-wide association studies and what they tell us about autism. I can spend 2 years being a respite provider for autistic children. But God forbid, I actually try to diagnose myself. Then I’m attention seeking. Because look, I can carry a conversation just fine. I’m the life of my friend group. I’m objectively very intelligent (which is always brought up in this conversation, as if people with autism can’t be... smart?? But I digress...). So I take tests on the internet (validated tests. to be clear. which I can discriminate, because I am a doctor) and they say over and over that I *might* be autistic. And then I call my mom. “You’re not autistic! You have OCD,” my mom tells me. “I’ve never had an OCD diagnosis,” I remind her. “Your doctor said you had OCD when you were 3.”

I sigh. “You can’t diagnose OCD in a 3-year-old. I think those traits were signs of autism. They went away when I was older ‘cause I learned how to hide them.”

“You’re not autistic, you’re just smart. You’ve always been so much smarter, that’s why you feel different.” I don’t have a reply

Because I know plenty of smart people. I have a pediatric residency class full of smart peers, many of them smarter than me. And I’m different.

So. I took a test today. A new test. The CAT-Q, “Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire” which “measures the degree to which you use camouflaging strategies. The more you camouflage, the more of your autistic proclivities you are likely able to suppress.” Neurotypical women typically score a 90. Autistic women score 124 on average. And me? I score 147.

Initially, this is relieving. Life *feels* hard, and this validates that. My life *is* hard. I am objectively trying harder than others. This is a comfort. But then, I realize:

Which parts of me are me? And which parts are my brain working on overdrive to make me seem normal, likable, and social? And what do I do next?

And worst of all, I wonder if anyone I know will believe me.

Hull, L., Mandy, W., Lai, MC. et al. Development and Validation of the Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q). J Autism Dev Disord 49, 819–833 (2019). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-018-3792-6 https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-018-3792-6#citeas

[asd-n-me]

30 days of autism acceptance 2020

April 15: Free day! Write about any topic you want!

I am going to talk about a subject near and dear to my heart; Female autism diagnosis and “camouflaging” or “masking.”

Statistically 1 in 37 boys are diagnosed compared to 1 in 151 girls with autism. This means for every 4 boys diagnosed only 1 girl is. Even less spoken about is that the odds become even lower for diagnosis if you are of average or above intelligence: 10-1.

This has lead to a strong bias in the medical community that women are unlikely to actually have autism, or that they just don’t have autism at all.

This is a very untrue assumption, that is created from a lack of female autism studies, biased assessments, and a number of other things. But probably one of the most prominent reasons for a lack of female diagnosis is that women are far more likely to engage in camouflaging.

Camouflaging, much like in real life, is adapting and blending into your surroundings. Girls with autism are effective in mimicking behaviors of peers, copying clothing and trends, and developing coping strategies on their own in order to hide noticeable traits.

Even then you must be asking, surely that can’t be the only reason they’re missed? You’re right, females also tend to be overlooking in more blatant symptoms because they appear mundane, they’re misunderstood or misinterpreted, they have a higher tendency to have less common characteristics, and many other reasons.

First off, many autistic girls special interests can be common among peers their age, like horses and princesses, and other things. Far less stand-out than a stereotypical kid who memorizes train schedules. Many doctors are far too dismissive on first look, and fail to probe further to see how much more intensive the interest is comparatively.

Many girls struggle less with the need for rigidity and routine, display less over-reactive or misbehaving qualities and are far more internal than boys with autism, and be less separated from their peers overall.

Although this isn’t the case with every girl, as even girls who do display these traits may find them routinely dismissed because of their gender. Girls experiencing sensory issues or routine changes may be called dramatic, a princess, or a bratty girl.Girls experiencing social ostracism may be called shy or unique. As girls with odd behaviors or interests can be dismissed as quirky. 

Each of these assumptions becomes blindsided by what they think they see and fail to find what is underneath; an autistic child. 

Even as girls grow into tweens and teens and even young adults they continue to suffer misdiagnosis. Some girls have experienced between 2-10 misdiagnosises before they ever discover they are autistic, and some will never be diagnosed at all. 

Common traits of autism are easily misdiagnosed as anxiety, OCD, a processing disorder, eating disorders, depression, bi-polar, and borderline personality. Due to literal interpretations of symptom questionaires women have even been misdiagnosed with paranoia and delusions.

It is very true that many women who have struggled their whole life feeling broken or defective develop anxiety, depression, and even eating disorders along side autism. Anxiety for instance has been cast at a 40-86% co-morbidity rate with ASD.

My final words to the medical professionals and anyone confused about their diagnosis, although it may be true you have these things, please remember Occam’s Razor:  “plurality should not be posited without necessity.”

If you need 8 diagnosis to try and cover the symptoms, and are still feeling lost and like you’re missing something don’t let bias get in the way of seeing the truth; Maybe she’s autistic. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #385

“I am a human being, capable of doing terrible things”

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) Uhhhh. I don't know. Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? Yes. What’s your favorite movie series? I think Shrek when you consider all the movies' (well, I haven't seen the last one, but...) quality. No memeage here, I just genuinely love Shrek, haha. I would say The Lion King, but miraculously when you consider the focus on meerkats, I actually don't like 1 1/2 much. What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? Hm... I think I got purple highlights? Do you want to move anytime soon? Even though we haven't even lived here a year, yes. I don't like living in an urban area, and I also reeeeaaaally don't like our family friend being our landlord. I know that sounds very weird, but she's just a very controlling person who forcefully inserts herself into my family's lives now more than ever, and I have a pretty deep fear that a potential argument finally erupting will lead to us being kicked out. I genuinely don't think Tobey would ever do that, but the fear is still there. How good/bad was the quality of education you received in high school? Average, I guess? What was the most interesting year of your life, and why? "Interesting," maybe... 2017 or 2018? I learned a lot about myself in that time range. But at the same time, my life was (and still is) VERY uneventful. Just a lot of mental stuff went on. What was the first social media site you ever used? Myspace. Do you have any exes you really regret dating? REALLY regret? No. I wish I'd never dated Tyler, but it's not a massive regret or anything. He was still a cool guy that I have a few nice memories with. Have you ever lied on a resume? Or even in a job interview? Ha, I'd definitely stretch the truth about being more of a people-person than I am. I couldn't go too far with lying, though; I'm just not comfortable doing that, 'cuz like, they're gonna find out eventually that it's not true. Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home? Maybe my friend Summer. Her room has always been super cool. What brought about the end of the worst relationship you’ve been in? Apparently, not talking to him every second of every day two weeks into a relationship was a no-no. Where was the last place you spent the night other than your own home? The sleep study building or whatever it's considered in the medical plaza. Do you have any step- or half-siblings? I have both. What do people always seem to think is weird about you? The fact I don't watch TV. Do you ever braid your hair? It's way too short for that. Even when it was long, I didn't do it frequently at all. Is there any certain style of architecture you really enjoy? Roman, in particular. What was the last thing you gave up on? uhhhhhhhhhhh If you watch Parks and Recreation, who is your favorite character? I don't. What’s the last DIY project you did, if any? If you can’t remember, what’s something you’d be interested in doing? I'm not really into DIY stuff, honestly. I'd rather just buy products that were made better than I could, or commission someone who can. What's a song that makes you feel happy? I dunno. It's rare a song alone makes me happy. What is your favorite clothing store? Rebel's Market. How did you meet your best friend? YouTube, back when it was a more social platform. What is something you do well? Catastrophize any situation. Assume the worst of everything. What's a good idea you've had recently? Probably to re-engage with a calorie-counting app I used to use. I'm back to trying to use it consistently. Do you like to wear high heels? Does ANY person LIKE to? How many slices of pizza do you usually eat? Two or three depending on my appetite and the size of the pizza. Do you play any instruments? Not anymore. Do you always smile for pictures? Not always. What are you most excited about right now? To see the results of my TMS therapy. What's the last song you listened to? "Ex’s and Oh’s” by Elle King. What's the last YouTube video you watched? I'm watching an Erosium livestream rn. Newest channel binge, haha. Do you know anyone who's died in childbirth? No. Would you ever consider moving to another country for your career? No. I don't want to leave my family. Do you wear foundation? No, I hate the feeling of that crap. Do you know anyone who has run for public office? No. Do you have a cartilage piercing? I used to, but the hole closed when I had to take it out for the hospital. :/ I plan on getting it repierced. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room or urgent care? If so, why? Yes; for being suicidal, a suicide attempt, and when I had a horribly infected cyst and just existing made me want to sob with pain. Have you ever had to visit anyone in the hospital? Yeah, a few times. What is the most pain (physical, mental, emotional) you've ever felt? Physical: having the aforementioned cyst drained when I was not nearly numbed enough. Mental and emotional (what's really the difference?): my breakup with my first real boyfriend. What is the longest time you've spent crying? Oh, hours on end, fluctuating with intensity. Have you ever been stolen from? Yes. Have you ever been to a ghost town? No, but I would FUCKING LOVE to. Let me bring my camera and it's a field day. Has anything in your house ever caught on fire? Not in this current house. Have you ever been inside of a vacant house? No. Have you ever been attacked by a dog? No. What is the most disgusting thing you've ever seen? The massive cyst my late dog Teddy developed on his lower belly. That fucking thing hung on by a THREAD and was absolutely nauseating to look at. How old were you when you learned how to read? I don't recall, I just know it was earlier than most children. Do you prefer cats or dogs? Cats. Which book series was the first you read? I want to say Hank the Cowdog. I was hooked on it. Would you rather write a book or direct a movie? Haha, what a question, as I've considered both of these as potential careers. I think write a book. What dream that you’ve had has stuck in your head the most? Describe: A nightmare about my dad that I'm not going into. What emotion do you find yourself trying to hide from others? I'm very uncomfortable revealing jealousy or envy. How emotional/sentimental would you say you are? Extremely. What is the most fun game to play? Shadow of the Colossus, probably. What is your sense of humor like (dry, dark, sarcastic, etc.)? I don't know, maybe dry. How many languages can you say "hello my name is…" in? Two. What language do you think sounds the nicest? I don't know, it's not like I've heard every language be spoken. What language do you want to learn more of? German. Do you have any form of OCD? I'm diagnosed with OCD. Do you make promises often? No. I take promises VERY seriously and am not about to make one unless I'm certain I can keep it. What is it that you are responsible for? My pets, keeping my room clean, stuff like that. Do you have a lot of secrets? Not "a lot," no. Are you more likely to be verbally aggressive or physically? Verbally. I'm only physically aggressive in my nightmares. What warning has someone given you that you wish you’d have listened to? Hm. What warning has someone given you you are glad you didn’t take? I also don't know. What is your favourite video of on YouTube? I can't pick just one. Name one creature that freaks you out/scares you? Maggots. Just the word makes me squirm. What was the last thing you wrote down on paper? My signature. Have you ever watched Breaking Bad? No. Are your fingernails always painted? They never are. What color is your bed frame? A rich brown. Did any of your neighbors come over to welcome you when you moved into your current house? No. What's something you didn't realize how bad it was until it happened to you? Heartbreak. Do you like Taylor Swift's singing voice? No. It's squeaky and annoying to me. Does it bother you when people get super emotional? Why the fuck would it bother me? Let people be in touch with their emotions. Have you ever worked in a restaurant? No. What was the last drive-thru you went through? Ummm I want to say Starbuck's w/ Mom after my TMS appointment. Do you know anyone who claims they can see/feel spirits or other supernatural "things?" No. Does your house have any unoccupied bedrooms? Yes. Do either of your parents have a mental illness? My mom has depression, and she personally suspects something's up with Dad, but idk. He's never seen a doctor about that kinda stuff. What fun things are there to do where you live? Ha! Do you know anyone with a really poorly-trained dog? I know many like that. When you were growing up, did your family rent or own your home? My parents owned it. Can you see the stars at night where you live? I actually haven't paid attention at this house. I'm certain it'd be harder now living in an urban area, though. What job do you know you'd be terrible at? Like, everything? I'd probably be worst at promoting stuff to people and trying to push them into buying something. No being a salesperson for me. Do you do meal-prepping? No. Do you know anyone who got preggo less than a year into their relationship? Who doesn't? And now, for the greatest question of all time! Toilet paper- should it go over or under? I literally couldn't care less about this. Fun fact though to "end" the argument, the original concept art of the idea (the word for that is evading me...) has it designed to go over. Are you afraid of mice? Not at all, they're adorable. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I don't have a specific "type" of thing I get, really. It depends. Do you vacation often? Not at all. Are you comfortable wearing your pajamas in public places? It depends on the place, really. Generally, I really don't care, so long as I put a bra on. What’s your favorite candy bar? That one that's a bunch of Reese's squares composed into a rectangle. It. Is so. Fucking. Good. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't like musicals. Do you own a helmet of any sorts? No. Does your family generally decorate for most holidays? Just for Christmas, really. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I'm not a soup person. Have you ever watched Doctor Who? I saw one or two episodes with Sara. If so, what do you think is the scariest creature yet? N/A Do you read tour guide type books before you visit places? No.

[elizawright]

My experience with Aspergers

OCD and Anorexia 2/2:

Right now the painful part, this is probably the most difficult to talk about because it’s still so fresh and still very much active in my daily life. My Anorexia story I would say officially began around December 2018 however as I’ve mentioned before I’ve always struggled with eating. It started as just being a very fussy kid, in my early teen years I used to obsessive compulsively diet extremely strictly for periods of time. I think this in itself could be considered Anorexia or at least I was at the very edge of being. A year later I would completely 180, over eat and put on a lot of weight. A year later from that I would once again strictly diet this time making myself throw up if i “over ate” in my mind or ate something “bad”. I distinctly remember being 14 on holiday in Florida. My family kept encouraging me to eat fruit loops for breakfast (I would only eat bran flakes) and of course I desperately wanted to but it was very scary to me. So I did eat them one day and being 14 and uneducated on food I had a panic. Though I was panicking I didn’t ever tell anyone Insted I hid away, found a toilet and forced myself to throw up. Now this is years before I was officially diagnosed with an eating disorder but to me, this doesn’t seem healthy. Looking back I feel quite sorry for little me feeling I had to hide away and be sneaky, I wish I had told my mum how I was feeling, but I didn’t. Anyway, back to my official timeline. So 2018 was the year I did my gcses, it was a different year, I was so focused on my studies I began to over eat as a coping mechanism, this caused me to put on quite a bit of weight. Now I was never really fat but i was overweight, I would guess 13 stone (to put in comparison, when diagnosed with anorexia 6 months later I was 7 stone something, that’s a loss of 5 stone). In November that year I got my lovely boyfriend. When we first started dating I felt quite ashamed that I weighed more than him. Of course he didn’t care, I don’t think he even ever thought of it, he just liked me for me, but the intrusive thoughts which are oh so common to me told me otherwise. I began to notice in the morning my belly looked it’s flattest which I figured was because I hadn’t put any food in my stomach making it bloat so I began not eating in the mornings. If I was going to see my boyfriend who obviously as a young teen at the start of a relationship I wanted to impress I wouldn’t eat. I wouldn’t eat while I was around him then as soon as I got home I would eat as normal. This is where it all began. My boyfriend used to recall to my mom “she never eats breakfast and never eats at my house! I try and feed her but she just won’t eat.”

So like I said life carried on like this for a few months, I didn’t loose a massive amount of weight, maybe half a stone, but things changed drastically after a holiday to Egypt. On the first day I was struggling and obsessing over my appearance as usual, obsessing over every roll I could see. Looking back now I looked great! I had big boobs and hips, but at the time I didn’t see any of that all I saw was fat. Well the next day after this I caught a really bad case of the flu. I was bed ridden for the entire rest of the week barely well enough to get home. As we were in Egypt we had no way of getting any medication at all not even paracetamol so I was completely wiped out, it was the worst illness I’ve ever faced were literally everything that could happen, happened. Now because of this I didn’t eat for the entire week.

Once I arrived home and I began the process of analysis of my body as per usual I noticed I had lost weight. I put two and two together realising a week of not eating made me really quickly drop a ton of weight. The cogs began turning and I told myself the short amount of pain (being the hunger) my future self would thank me for. So I began restricting. Using the bike analogy it began at a quick pace but slowly got faster and faster. Soon I was eating no more than 400 calories a day, anymore than that and I would get depressed and anxious and stressed (for comparison the average women needs 2000 calories a day just to maintain weight) I was terrified of nearly all foods. Butter, bread, literally everything I can think of. I weighed out everything out to the T never eating a full packet of something. Which if I’m honest, I still do weigh everything, I also still count calories obsessively. This is what I mean by I’m not fully recovered I’m a lot better, but still suffering and fighting.

Now at this point my mental and physical health began to really suffer. I was normally really good at school getting outstanding grades in gcses but now with a levels I wasn’t able to get work completed or done, I couldn’t concentrate, I would fall asleep in class because I was tierd constantly, I wasn’t my normal talkative enthusiastic self because I was so drained of all energy I’m honestly so shocked my teachers didn’t make more of an effort to help me. I remember one time a teacher telling me I looked very ill and pale so forced me to eat a banana they had brought for their own lunch which was a struggle for me to do. Luckily for me a teacher i still dont know reported to the head of sixthform about being worried for me. They had been gone 3 months and within coming back had noticed the drastic change in weight I had had. It goes to show how much weight I lost as I was always wearing baggy clothes to hide it and she still noticed. Now that I’m mentioning it all my clothes were massively oversized because I no longer fit my entire wardrobe. I would try and wear stuff like leggings as they made me feel comfortable and happy in myself but my head of sixthform would shout at me and force me to change. I recall a few teachers and students coming to me asking if I was alright as they had noticed my rapid weight loss, I told them it was just stress. I was completely in denial I had tricked myself into thinking it was normal, I have no idea how I even lasted as long as I did at sixthform like this. So as the story goes I got taken into the teds team which is a recovery center for children with eating disorders

I was extremely reluctant to go, I was stand off ish and rude to the doctors and my family which is something that is not in my nature at all. Looking back all they wanted to do was help me but at the time I thought everyone was against me were trying to trick me into being fat. This was clearly the anorexia talking and not me, it was completely in control. While there I was freezing cold so they had to turn the fan off. I was honest as I could be and told them most of what I previously told you but it still didn’t actually sound like a concern to me. I down played it as much as a could because I didn’t want anyone’s help. I can still remember that horrible feeling of being so stubborn and refusing to even acknowledge what the people around me were saying I was so caught up in the anorexic trap. Now about a year ago from this I had been previously weighed as I had started a new version of medication, like I said I weighed in at around 85kg, 13 stone. I got weighed again on this day and was in the 7 stones, I had lost nearly 6 stone in 3 months. That’s crazy looking back at. I was told if I didn’t turn myself around soon my periods would stop and I would have to go into hospital to be force fed. They warned me as I was in the hight of my teenage development i was right at the edge of doing permanent growth, brain and fertility damage. I love children and can’t wait to be a mother someday and I really highly value my intelligence so this was the kick up the bum I needed to start my recovery. I came back a week later to create an eating plan and in that time I had dropped another couple of pounds in just a week. I was very stubborn during the hour we spent making an eating plan, we pretty much fought back and forth me and the doctor disagreeing on everything, the eating disorder had complete control over my mind and I was pretty much in auto pilot. Eventually we came to an agreement which I still was very reluctant to follow, but I had worked out the calorie intake and it felt at level that was “safe” for me. I was also just happy to not have to worry about making food anymore as my mum was now in charge or making everything I eat. Before this I was eating on average a banana, half a packet of cuscus and a plain piece of brown bread without butter and a spoon full of baked beans with no sauce. On top of this I drank an unhealthy amount of coffee, so much I became addicted, to help me loose weight, keep me full and give me the energy I didn’t have.

I remember so vividly the first day I followed this new eating routine my stomach had shrunk so small I was physically in pain by the end of the day. I was to eat 2 spoons of yogurt in the morning, an egg sandwich at lunch on brown bread, an apple, half a dinner and one weatabix at night. By the weatabix I was in physical pain from being so full. But I pushed through it. A week later I had still lost weight but not as much as the normal rate went. This is when I was told I had to add in extra and I reacted terribly. I flat out refused to follow it anymore and said I was quitting the program. For a few months I refused to follow the new program sticking to the old one I felt safe with and still lost weight with. With things like anorexia it’s something I feel can never be solved by anyone else it’s something you have to do yourself. I think I improved just overtime by chatting with the teds team and the dietitian and educating myself. This next part of my journey is kind of difficult to talk about as I don’t remember it much, I was so tired and drained it’s all kind of disappeared from my memory. Eventually through education I began to slowly add things to my eating plan. I added crisps (but only under the condition they were healthy ones under 100 calories) changed the yogurt to 2 weatabix as it was easier to measure and less of a “scary food” to me.

So yeah, since this is just a short (at least as short as I can make it) synopsis of my journey I’m just going to skip to now. Some day maybe I’ll talk about the one and a half year gap there is between then and now but that would take too long for the moment. Now I am still suffering with eating. I’ve put on a bit of weight but I’m still classed as underweight. I still follow a very strict daily routine with what I eat, I still weigh things out, I still calorie count, I still analyse my body but I am a hell of a lot better than a year ago. I still struggle when it comes to eating “fatning” of “sugary” foods but on occasion I do eat them. I try and eat something every day like a breakfast bar or granola bar. Although I am a lot better now, I’m mostly tortured by the anorexic intrusive thoughts.

I struggle oddly with extreme hunger! Something I hadn’t felt at all while I was in critical condition. I did some research and I found out this happens to most recovering anorexics and their body is literally starving and desperate for food. I have been left with loose skin which makes me extremely embarrassed and unhappy, I hope someday to get rid of it as it’s a big factor of my destress. I hope this story can help educate people without eating disorders and give you an incite into our minds. Someday I will go into more detail.

[vanessawren69]

How Can Parents Help During Children Treatment

Like most parents, we welcomed our first brand new born with all excitement and enthusiasm. We did the regular things parents-to-be do - getting all set a nursery with decorations, furniture, toys and clothing. We read novels and moved to classes about the best way to raise the boy at his first calendar year. Very little did people know none of the would educate us to manage exactly what lay ahead. Vincent was born without problems in the US full-time. We attracted him back to Singapore if he was 10 weeks old. Our purpose was to bring him up in a multi ethnic and multi lingual environment.However, when he had been three months' old, Vincent turned into a normal guest into the doctor's clinic. He was diagnosed with spleen and liver enlargements that required per week, monthly then half a lever work blood evaluations. His receptor was 800+ as the kid ought to be below 50. His receptor level stabilized once he switched three.At 14 weeks', he got an infection from a make-up BCG injection. This required fundamental anesthetization and operation to both remove the pustule. At two, a doctor discovered that Vincent had a heart murmur. Thankfully, it was a benign murmur. Initially, Vincent dropped over a roadside curve which required a few stitches above his right eye brow. In the beginning, he'd high fever for two successive times and must be admitted into hospital. In between, there clearly were the common influenza and colds.I visualize many parents have gone through similar scenarios. However, these are not the challenges that confronted our faith, analyzed our strength, and improved the course of their lives. Until eventually we observed that he had been different at a year and half an hour, Vincent'd met all milestones. He'd no language. This meant he did not complete a single comprehensible word. He'd not call Mum or Dad. The doctor advised us not to worry as boys develop language skills after. We became very stressed if he did not have any vocabulary at a couple of yearsold. This began another flow of consultation with all specialists in ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat), neurology, psychology, and psychiatry. It took us to search, timetable and complete the evaluation. Vincent's hearing was tested. Even the neurologist couldn't get anything strange in your visual test and also called us into some psychologist.The session with all the psychologist has been disastrous. She had been than one hour for its consultation. Vincent lost patience wet and waiting his trousers during the evaluation, nevertheless he'd been toilet trained. The psychologist prescribed him having a"conduct Illness". This brought disbelief and confusion to people. The only positive outcome was a summary of recommended colleges which could accept kids like Vincent.We then sought advice out of a renowned psychiatrist. I still vividly remember the assembly in excess of Vincent's identification: Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified (PDD NOS). The health care provider couldn't pin point the cause although in ayman's term, Vincent was delayed in development. The psychiatrist's response that Vincent may well not ever be able to live a completely unaffiliated life throw a dark shadow across the family.In among your many tests, we managed to register Vincent into an exclusive faculty using a special training program starting at age three. This marked the beginning of lasting therapeutic and learning programs for Vincent. To augment the training of language, Vincent has been introduced to sign language and so were that the parents. This had been one among the happiest occasions to hear Vincent telephone out'Mum' and'father' at age of 4 weeks and three years. However his language progressed from one word level at comparative time, the speed of education . The speech pathologist advised he wanted to improve his gross and fine motor skills before language learning could accelerate.At the robust recommendation of their teachers and specialists, we proceeded straight back to US if Vincent was five. This began a brand new chapter of lifetime for both Vincent and the family. Throughout testimonials, we were blessed to come across a pediatrician who specialised in children like Vincent. She'd an exhaustive test of Vincent and recognized him being a kid with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Autism is a lifelong developmental disability that usually appears in childhood. Vincent was with minimal imagination and common sense, also was stiff to change. He'd no eye could not examine social cues, had Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), demonstrated severe delay in communication, and had gross sensory and motor dysfunction. He exhibited symptoms of a typical unborn child, except he was not hiding in a large part. On the other hand, he had been very sociable. We commenced a series of treatments. He also attended address and occupational therapy for per year prior to the faculty might effectively manage his requirements. He chose herapeutic horseback-riding once a week and swimming two times a week. Riding served calm down him and regulate his mind while swimming improved motor abilities. He did activities for at least five years.During these five decades, we conducted Patricia Wilbarger brushing at two-hour periods to lessen sensory dysfunction, even if we were outside. At an identical moment he had been put below Auditory built-in Therapy (AIT). He paid attention with filtered tune that has been to stimulate brain function in routine audio to Mozart. Later on he had creativity to inspire. He also attended 15 interactive metronome periods to boost attention length. By the conclusion of three weeks' remedy, he could clap 1,500 occasions nonstop as well as always. We also participated a engine pro to improve his design. Even the US law welcomes public colleges to provide aid for kids with special demands. Vincent was incorporated straight into main-stream kindergarten.With restricted language, conventional kindergarten was exceptionally challenging for Vincent. He had been so disruptive and distracted that he had to be brought out of the classroom. Walking at the school hallways or frequent breaks were a daily occurrence. We had to cross our fingers beg and every day he had a superior school afternoon minus incidences. With medication and reliable support, Vincent figured out the routines and commenced choosing up language. Throughout the First Grade language test, '' he performed at 1 percent. That meant in a hundred children , '' he had been the last in language proficiency. At home we functioned with flash cards on cognitive abilities, spatial and basic theories, functions and characteristics, and also a regular follow from the teaching of their school. We also instructed him phonicstime, numbers, size, income, etc.. It had been daunting to teach him 10 cents have greater significance than 5 cents when the 10 pennies coin is significantly smaller compared to five cents. Vincent's language improved to 25 percent by Grade. He progressed it to around 50 percent from the end of 4th Grade, properly beyond some other pro's expectations.Once Vincent picked up languageshe participated in school activity with much significantly less and not as much the help of the distinctive education instructor and the education aide.The target for IEP has shifted to social interaction and communication. Socially we have been through situations compared to speech instruction. During kindergarten, neighbor's children named him idiotic and mad. Since they could not be understood by Vincent, fortunately, the name calling was only hard for us . He was invited into a birthday party by kindergarten to fourth grade. The school address therapist hailed programs for Vincent and returned together with him to coach him. We study books and also wrote Carol Gray's social stories to demonstrate that the broad social policies of behaviour for each occasion and receiving alongside. To get additional details on this please find this. He joined social-skills training in a hospital and also in the summer camp. Nothing came simple to Vincent. Everything had to be educated. He needed - and - needs - published rules and demonstrations to direct him. It had been expected that he could be in a position to implement once he gained broad base foundations. Every one of the clinics and also training dropped off when Vincent lastly produced three friends at Fifth Grade.He was invited to their birthday functions. He encouraged them back over. He made a couple more friends at sixthgrade. He claimed two of them since his friends with whom he spoke during lunchtime and played after faculty. He no longer was a target for bullies or a ranger at school. We're fortunate that Vincent reacted favorably to therapies and interventions. The illness was very delighted about the progress of Vincent. A psychological investigation showed that Vincent continues to function at the average to exceptional selection of brains. He no longer exhibited considerable discrepancy between verbal and nonverbal abilities. The doctor changed Vincent's diagnostic to Asperger Syndrome, the mildest form of this ASD, in the age of nine.After many years of struggles, we began healing Vincent much like a kid. You will find put on television time. He had an allowance to purchase his favorite toys and games. He learned just how to do laundry, use the drier, fold clothing, wash cars and dishes, sweep floors, run the vacuum cleaner, also shift light bulbs, etc.. Recently, he started out preparing his breakfast, cooking minute noodles, skillet and utilizing a knife.He desires these capabilities when he goes to faculty. We expect him to behave appropriately in public and in gatherings. He said was accountable because of his schoolwork so we ceased checking his homework reviewing with him. Maintain his own honor roster and his obligation as a student is to carry out well academically. He's studying voraciously, especially science and nonfiction books. As he isn't athletically likely, he's plumped for fencing as his only form of sport.For many years without changing, his objective is always to become Zoo Veterinarian. He is on course to meeting his fantasy. Soon after processes of rejection, blame, frustration, anger, acceptance and resolution, we have come to terms with his investigation. Even though we search for remedies that best satisfy himwe take, and the majority of the time, that he could be and that which he will eventually become. We've pledged to provide him anything ordinary kids love and we hope to execute no further compared to other children' of the calibre. We know there are more challenges before us and him however we have been convinced he'll direct a lifestyle. Inpatient treatment helps and benefits kids a lot. They've programs that make it possible for children to be dependent together by using their selves. First, the therapist assesses a young child therefore that an appropriate actions or plans will likely probably be given in line with the child's functionality and ultimately, the test made will probably be valid. The overall capability as well as also the wholeness of a kid is aided and improved with a program that is family-approach or baby friendly to make sure the kids are not going to feel nostalgic and only feel comfortable throughout the program.Since occupational treatment revolves across the increase and progress of a young child, therefore each phase is monitored for longer desired consequence. Kiddies who may benefit from occupational therapy are those who have birth injuries or premature, finding out problems or ADHD or developmental/ motor skills handicap, problems with coordination or chronic musculo-skeletal circumstances, any behavioral problems and harms or injuries. Fortunately, occupational treatment does not confine their program to these conditions; nevertheless they extend their own tasks to fine skills, socialization, neural integration, oral or motor skills, harmony , faculty performances and food aversion.Occupational therapy is vital in helping children improve and become independent at all activities they perform. Occupational therapy is not only for adults; nevertheless, it is as well decent for youngsters because they are doing all their daily pursuits and they must have such help make the task simpler to allow them to do independently.This therapy is coping on the little one's activities is it physical or emotional, and even at an simplest action like brushing, talking and eating, they supply this training for much better operation, especially kids who are experiencing trouble doing simple task together by using their very own. Such a therapy is not solely based for house pursuits but at schools because well.After each single task that's assigned to a specific baby, it's then assessed on how they perform on specific endeavor. By way of example, they offer a week to get child to work out to tie his shoe and after one week that the child has to show improvement or also so the therapist may change the approach in order for the child will discover the manner.

[caffademic]

Part 1/2 for my tips to surviving 1L for all of you 0Ls finding yourself in the same position I did last year. 

Obligatory PSA: law school is extremely difficult, and not just academically. I didn’t prepare myself properly physically/mentally for the stress (although I’m not sure I could, to be honest) and I paid a very heavy price. Thus, I cannot stress enough *if you are not certain you want to practice law, do not go to law school. If you have never worked in a law office or had any experience, take a gap year and get some. School can and WILL wait.*

If you make it through my warning, I assume you’re either a masochist or naive and we will get this show on the road. On to my top 10 tips for taking care of yourself in law school!

Number 1: Evaluate your mental health  I thought I understood myself before law school, but I was so very wrong. Let’s get to it: if you know you have any mental health challenges (anxiety, depression, OCD, BPD, etc.), seek out help or get evaluated BEFORE school starts. You’re going to want a network in place so you aren’t struggling to find a doctor or therapist once things get really bad. Your school likely has a student health center that can help you with a referral or even have an on-site psychiatrist/therapist. I am recommending this out of experience - I wish I had thought about these resources beforehand so I wasn’t struggling so badly by the end of my first semester/beginning of my second semester.

Number 2: Review your relationships Maybe you’re in a relationship and you don’t feel as connected to your partner/realized you don’t see the relationship moving forwards or maybe your best friend gives you stress because they don’t quite understand what you’re going through. Regardless, you do NOT want the emotional stress of a soured relationship halfway through the semester. Now is a good time to break up (if there’s such a thing) or at least give the important people in your life a heads up that the next three years are going to be miserable and you might be AWOL. That being said, I am still with my partner after my first year and I really lean on him for support. Relationships outside of law school can be a beautiful thing!

Number 3: Get yourself on a regular sleep cycle This tip isn’t necessarily helpful for everyone, but if you struggle with keeping your depression/anxiety at bay, a good night’s sleep can help manage it. Ultimately, you’ll need to balance what is important to you and your career. For me, I need at least 7.5 hours of sleep every night, usually more. If you aren’t resistant to melatonin, use supplements for a few nights to get on track. Soon enough, you’ll be in the habit of going to bed early and waking up early!

Number 4: Healthy Eating A major reason why my health declined rapidly this semester is because I wasn’t eating properly. Thankfully, my support system caught on and quickly got me back on track. A healthy day usually starts with a good breakfast. I find that my stomach is upset if I eat anything too heavy in the morning and I generally avoid breakfast. To correct that, my parents encouraged me to drink protein supplements, which has helped immensely. When I don’t drink the shakes, I eat a bowl of oatmeal, greek yogurt, or have some pieces of fruit. Basically, if you’re too busy to cook good, healthy meals, I’ve compiled a list of relatively cheap, semi-healthy, and quick foods. I’ll try and put a meal list together later, if you’re interested. For now, I love Barilla’s protein penne pasta, sautéed greens in season (mustard greens are good!), and the ever essential beans and rice. These are fantastic pick-me-ups and if you need a way to cook things cheaply, invest in a small pressure cooker - they can start at maybe $20 and can cook everything.

Number 5: Exercise Everyone gives this advice and I generally don’t follow it (because I’m a hypocrite). However, exercise is so important! If you’ve made exercising a habit in undergrad/high school, congratulations! Make sure you keep it up! If you’re not a big fan of hitting the gym, at least go outside and walk to class. The sunshine can boost your mood that is sure to be drained from sitting in the stress-inducing law library.

Number 6: Leave the Library Please do not spend every waking hour in the law library. Go home. Go outside. Go to the undergraduate library (it tends to be nicer because there’s more of them). Literally go anywhere else.

Number 7: You will feel guilty about everything and that is (mostly) okay You should definitely do things outside of law school. Maybe catch up with an old friend for an hour or watch television - these are great ways to wind down and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I sometimes took /too many/ breaks. However, you are going to feel guilty about it and that is a-ok. Everyone else feels guilty too! The truth is, you will always have more work than you realize and it will always feel a little overwhelming. Just remember, no matter how many miles you have left to drive, you still have to fill your car up with gas. Otherwise, you’ll burn out. Please take some breaks.

Number 8: Water and Caffeine This should be earlier in the list, but that doesn’t take away it’s importance. Drink a LOT of water and scale way back on the coffee. I stopped drinking coffee for the most part and now rely on tea when water doesn’t cut it. The last half of this semester, I was buying the Sparkling Cranberry Yerba Mate from my school’s cafe every Tuesday/Thursday before my Property class. Sometimes, ya gotta do what you gotta do.

Number 9: Alcohol Law school (or at least my law school) is practically subsidized by various beers, wines, and liquors. There will be alcohol at almost every school sponsored event and that means you need to know yourself and drink responsibly. If you have a drinking problem, address it before law school. If you suspect you could develop a drinking problem, stop before you get ahead. Alcohol only serves to bring your mood down and distract you from making the great grades we all want. All that being said, alcohol is very social and it can be isolating if you don’t drink - just use your best judgment.

Number 10: Maintain contact with the outside world You may feel guilty doing it, but you need your friends and family. They will keep you grounded, even if they don’t understand what you’re learning or doing. Also, read a book that isn’t law related! Join some extracurriculars! it’s easy to get caught up in the BS of school - just keep your head down and work hard. You’ll get through it :)

Review I thought it might be good to put an overview of my year at the end of this post. Not everything is helpful for every one, but I want to promote transparency so you can determine what is best for you. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I want to go into public sector environmental law. For me, this means government work when I graduate (if I can get hired). However, full disclosure, I am an average law student. I struggle with feeling inadequate when graded on a curve and often feel like I can’t get the hang of what I’m doing. However, over the year, I learned some things that helped me out the most: namely, going to sleep on time. I also invested in Quimbee, which really helped me review topics I didn’t understand.

Furthermore, I struggled with making friends at first in school. Now, I have two very dear friends who kept me from drowning in the stress and always made me feel okay. They are my go-to gals - I really recommend making good friends and not avoiding all events to read one more page or so. 

Finally, I stick with my passions. I volunteer for things I want to do and I work hard to achieve my goals. It’s okay if you go into law not knowing your career trajectory or what you want to practice, but if you do, follow your path. 

Feel free to message me if you have any questions or just want to vent about school - it’s a really tough process to adjust to and we need all the support we can get.

[memehellion]

oc asks!!

Profile: Niamh Lesath

full name.  Niamh Lesath pronunciation. Neev Les-ah-th nicknames.  “dumb bitch,” which is what I call her height.  5′2″ age. Early 20s zodiac. Scorpio sun, Aries moon, Leo rising, Aries venus  languages. Common, Sylvan, some Elvish 

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour.  Naturally light brown, dyes it navy eye colour.  Seafoam skin tone.  Pale, but with a ton of dark freckles everywhere. She looks like a pebble :) body type. Thin, but her arms are just toned enough accent.  Super thick Scottish accent dominant hand.  Right, but ambidextrous when wielding her scimitar  posture.  She slouch scars. A couple on her back. The ones across her face from sword fighting are all pretty faded. Some on her legs. tattoos.  None...as of yet most noticeable features.  Her direct and cutting speech. Her words and wit slice through the air.

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth.  Somewhere in the woods, where the weather is warm, and all seasons besides winter is experienced. A lake is nearby. (If we’re being honest I haven’t developed the world she lives in besides aesthetics) hometown. A village which I have yet to name or give lore to lmao birth weight / height. Idk. Average baby weight and height. Let’s say she pooped in utero during labor and the doctors had to do an emergency operation to get her out to make it interesting.  manner of birth.  Read above, absolutely chaotic. first words.  “You lose!”  siblings. Only child  parents.  Two moms baybey!!! parental involvement. Both parents were as involved as Niamh would let them be (i.e., not a lot)

ADULT LIFE

occupation.  Pirate and sex worker !!! She gambles as well and definitely does not cheat current residence. Her big ass boat which she definitely did not steal  close friends. Her crew, although they don’t know whether or not to be friendly with her or to be terrified of her. Her closest friends are the random assortments of plants she’s collected from the islands she’s been to.  relationship status. shes in a fucking kismesis with a doofus from one of the islands because im a fucking homestuck if that wasn’t obvious financial status.  Extremely well-off, for now.  criminal record.  Not long enough. vices. She drinks more than she’d like to admit and while Niamh fucks, she doesn’t consider that a vice. It’s just something she likes to do and makes her feel good. I love Niamh. 

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation.  Queer/Pan, Not Straight preferred emotional role.  submissive | dominant | switch  |  unsure preferred sexual role.  submissive  |  dominant  |  switch  |  sex repulsed | likes to fight for dominance if with a larger, stronger partner libido. through the fucking roof  turn ons. Absolute idiots. Give her the most idiotic person you can find and she’ll just want to f*** the s*** out of them.  turn offs. People who think she’s below them. love language. It’s not true love unless she’s thrown a knife in your direction  relationship tendencies.  Has never had a real relationship before. Tends to push people away when she’s afraid they’re getting too close. “Relationships only end with a life long commitment or heartbreak. Both sound fuckin horrible”

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song. Problem by Natalia Kills (i know she’s lowkey problematic i’m sorry), Miss Jackson by P!ATD, or Copycat by Billie Eilish hobbies to pass the time.  Drinking, shooting the shit, sword training mental illnesses. Untreated/undiagnosed OCD and depression. Probably borderline alcoholic. (this is totally not a projection oc) physical illnesses.  None left or right brained. The psychologist in me wants to say left/right brain is actual bullshit, but she’s more analytical than creative  fears. Nothing baybey!! self confidence level.  She projects it as being high, but she kind of hates herself and wishes she could settle down with someone instead of letting her superiority complex ruin everything. vulnerabilities. A good looking moron

tagged by: Saw that my mutual @garlean-nonsense posted it on her acc so i stole it!! :P  tagging: @simonstuck493, @blackfyrez, @altoliva, @nearlyer, and any other friends who have ocs they want an excuse to write about!

[elzandi]

Birth Story!

                       Finn about an hour after he made his entrance.

Someone that I know (let’s call her ‘Beth’) recently put up an Instagram about the birth of her son via C-Section. She posted this with best intentions of promoting April as Cesarean Awareness Month, but some of the content in her caption has inspired me to look further into C-section and natural birth and share my birth story. I’m hoping that what I write, I write without bias and I am aiming to give a full and well-educated picture of labour and birth.

From the word go, I knew that I wanted to give birth as naturally as possible, and I’m very fortunate that I was able to have Finn with only minimal intervention by the doctors and midwives that looked after me. For Beth, her baby was in breach and growing at too fast of a rate for her body, meaning she was put forward for an elective c-section. I think everyone that has been through it, can agree that birthing a child is painful no matter which way you do it. So it bothered me that Beth has written off how hard natural labour and birth can be as she testifies that a C-Section is the harder experience. Amongst other parts of her post, this seems really quite misguided; especially considering you really can’t comment on which is harder if you haven’t experienced both.

In 2017, 11.5% of UK mothers had planned C-sections. A planned C-Section is performed at 39 weeks. By performing the surgery at 39 weeks any risk for the baby’s health is majorly reduced as well as risks to the mother. For a elective c-section that mother generally has to have a medical condition (diabetes, high blood pressure or an infection that can be passed to the baby, such as HIV) or the baby poses difficulty in labour (the baby is in a breach position or if the mother is carrying twins). One of the perks with an elective c-section is that it’s, for the majority, predictable and calm compared to a natural birth.

Instead of turning up at the hospital on a chosen date and time, I made the call to my mum that “it was time” at 2:30am after not being able to get comfortable enough to sleep, and my contractions starting to ramp up. I had a sweep 6 days before I went into labour, at which point I was 3cm dilated. My midwife warned that when the baby decided it was time to come, it was probably going to be quick. 13.5 hours of labour says otherwise. A c-section takes out that time in labour, with the average c-section surgery taking just over an hour (15-20 minutes to deliver the baby and 45 minutes to stitch everything back up).

Another thing that Beth mentions in her post is that during a c-section, a woman's “organs are torn out and put back together like a jigsaw”. This is entirely inaccurate and scaremongering at its best. Though c-sections are considered major surgery, no organs are taken out of your stomach - honestly, they don’t flop your intestines out - the only parts of you that are affected are your abdomen and your uterus, both of which are cut open to give access to the baby. If any organs are touched by the surgeon, it’ll be your intestines and bladder, and it’ll only be to nudge them out of the way for a better view of the uterus.

                                          Diagram of a C-section

Compared to a relatively short procedure, labour and natural birth is long and physically gruelling on your body. My mum cleverly explained labour to me as feeling “like toothache in your belly.” It goes from an uncomfortable throbbing to having you double bent in a pain that radiates throughout your body. I have a very high pain threshold - something labour definitely validated to everyone - but I dreaded the 2 hourly dilation checks by the midwives. PJ counted down the time to the next one as a form of encouragement to get me through it, but it didn’t make me look forward to them any more. It doesn’t hurt, let me just make that clear, but when your body is going through the throes of labour someone touching and prodding at you is the last thing you want.

Eventually, after about 11-12 hours I was told that I could push - I’d been wanting to push since I was 7cm about 3 hours earlier, but was told “to fight the urge” - after around 1.5-2 hours of moving into various positions and pushing for my life, my contractions completely died off due to exhaustion. The midwives had tried to feed me toast to give me energy several times, but I just threw it back up. At that point I was taken to a different area of the labour ward and hooked up to a drip of Pitocin to reboot my contractions. I remember asking the senior midwife how long it would take to kick in, I’d literally finished the question and went into very powerful contractions, which would eventually see Finn born.

Finn was born at 16:55pm on the 20th of August and was a “kiwi birth”. A kiwi birth is the medical term for a baby delivered via ventouse. A ventouse is a suction device that is attached to the top of your baby’s head; when you experience a contraction the obstetrician or midwife will gently pull on the device to help birth the baby. In order to get Finn out, I was also given a small procedure called an episiotomy. An episiotomy is the widening of your vagina; a small incision is made along your perineum in order to make delivery easier. If you have any intervention, such as ventouse or forceps, you’ll probably have this procedure. It does add to your postpartum recovery time and is really uncomfortable. I had to sit on pillows for about 2 weeks after Finn’s birth to help with the pain and soreness. The recovery time after a natural birth is substantially less than that of having a C-section; my episiotomy cut took just over a month to heal completely with an OCD level of personal hygiene downstairs to prevent any infection. Women that deliver via C-section, on average, spend twice as long in hospital and have a recovery time of at least 6 weeks. The placement of the post-surgery scar means that it is painful and your mobility is greatly reduced. Knowing how busy I was with Finn in the first month after his birth, I can imagine that this does make those first 6 weeks very difficult for mothers.

I experienced above average blood loss during birth, nothing too scary but it warranted taking iron tablets for the month afterwards. I was lucky that I was looked after by a team of excellent doctors and midwives that stopped the situation getting out of control and potentially causing unnecessary trauma to me, both physically and mentally. Some of the not so lucky women can develop a condition called Tokophobia, which is overwhelming anxiety associated with a traumatic previous birth and often leads to mothers choosing elective C-sections for subsequent children.

I could go into the the risk that vaginal birth can potentially have with vaginal tearing and stretching, however your midwives monitor this throughout you labour and will intervene if you are at risk of either of these.

Another associated problem with C-sections is that they make breastfeeding harder after delivery. I know that this is something that Beth struggled with. However, so did I; and out of the two of us, Beth is the only one that was able to continue breastfeeding her son for any length of time. I had to stop after 2 weeks with Finn as my milk production was far too low for what he needed, and I put this, in part, down to the fact that my body was trying to recover from the trauma of his birth. It was healing that bits that needed healing and shutting off the bits that it didn’t see as entirely necessary at that point. This means that Finn has been formula fed for essentially all of his life so far, but that’s another story for another time.

And so concludes my birth story, and passive-aggressive rant at Beth. All I will say is that childbirth takes it toll on your body, regardless of how you deliver. The whole “one way is harder than the other” school of thought needs to stop. It can create unnecessary pressure, fear and guilt  for expectant mothers, which really isn’t where their focus needs to be. As long as mum and baby are healthy and thriving at the end of their birthing journey, that is all that matters. 

If you do have any worries or concerns about any element of pregnancy, labour or birth, speak with your midwife. She’ll be able to offer some advice or signpost to someone that can help. 

—

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[simikaurblog]

Idea 2 - mental health & examples of work

Breaking the stigma around taking a mental health - is this a issue that needs to be spoken about? How do people feel when it comes to mental health? These are things that I want to find out and research into. Again, this is a subject that I feel strongly about as I feel that everyone gets affected. It doesn’t mean that you need to be diagnosed with a serious illness, but it goes back to simple feeling too like stress, panic, anxiety, depression, loneliness. 

I have made a mind map in my sketchbook about facts, opinions and possible ideas that I could explore. I feel that today society is really impacted by mental health and I want to make people talk about it and not hide from their feelings.  One thing that I have noticed popping up again while researching is that UK mental health services are failing young people. ‘‘Young people’‘ could this be a target audience that I can explore within in my work? I feel that I need to focus on audience in which will be effective with the work that I will be producing. This is something that I need to return to and solve out. 

Here is a article I found. 

Mental health isn’t being talked about and there seems to be a stigma that is attached to it in genders, socially and culturally. Why is this? Is it because of history or generations that pass down on how we should act and feel? 

History 

Mental illness has a long history from being thought of as the mark of the devil to being considered a moral punishment. Treatment has historically been brutal and inhumane. The Neolithic times, involved chipping a hole in the person's skull to release the evil spirits. I think the stigma has come out of fear and a lack of understanding. 

What types of mental health illness are there?

Schizophrenia 

Anxiety

Bipolar

Depression

Stress

Eating disorders

OCD

Personality disorder 

Psychosis

Self-harm / sucidal 

Facts 

One in four people will experience a mental health problem at some point in their lives.

Around one in ten children experience mental health problems.

The number of people experiencing mental illness in the UK is 16 million

Women are more likely to have mental health issues 

11% of the NHS budget is spent on mental health

Half of all mental illness begins by the age of 14

75% of young people with a mental health problem are not receiving treatment

Drugs are the most common form of treatment

The average waiting time for effective treatment is 10 years

Up to 300,000 people with mental health problems lose their jobs each year

These facts and statics are shocking. I am disappointed that the only common treatment is drugs. I strongly disagree with this. The number of medicines given  for anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and panic attacks have more than doubled in the past 10 years. I feel that there are other methods of treatment that can help people and drugs is not one of them. You can get side effect and gain other illness by taking drugs. What if a person relies on drugs and starts to take too many? This is a problem I want to solve. Treatments can vary from therapy, meditation, focussing on health and food, talking to people and does not need drugs. I feel that this only a choice as the government find it easier to treat by giving some one drugs and leaving them with that. The issue does start with the government - why cannot they make new rules with health care and help people? 

Mental health stories / voices 

How can I make thee voices be heard? How can I tell people who don’t understand what it is like? Maybe I can use visual elements and communicate the feelings, frustration and express what mental health can be like when you are dismissed and not understood. 

Examples on what has been done? 

Mindnosis by Sara Lopez Ibanez - has created a self-assessment kit to support those with mental health issues. The artist researched how the UK approaches mental health what types of therapy they offered. She found that people struggled with the initial communication with their doctors. She solved this problem by creating a kit, which allows users to discover the type of help they need, and where they can get it from. It includes a set of eight activity cards that combine mindfulness, cognitive behaviour therapy techniques and tips from peers to help users when they feel unwell.  I like the idea and concept of the design, however feel the design is washy and dull. 

Tear Gun by Yi-Fei Chen - created a visual metaphor in the form of a tear gun that represents her personal struggle with expressing her thoughts. The gun fires bullets made from frozen tears. The designer made this because of a  negative encounter she has with a tutor. The gun was made as a response to this as well as to show she was unable to voice her personal struggles.

I think that this product is clever, however how will this help others who are going through mental health? 

Calming stone by Ramon Telfer - Ramon Telfer who struggles with anxiety worked with Calming stone co-founder Alex Johnson to develop a hand-held device that eases anxiety through the use of light and sound. I think that this device is appealing and if it uses light and sound I know scientifically this can effect our mind in a positive way. 

The device needs to sit in the palm of the hand, then a copper ring sensor will run around the edge while sensing the user's heart rate. It mimics the rate with a softly glowing light and a slight pulsing sensation. The designer states: ‘because stress is very real and life is a fully tactile, sensory experience, we have created and evolved our learnings into a beautiful, intimate product that anyone can hold, feel and listen to’.

I can see how this device is helpful and I like how it works. It would be cool if it had a voice which could read out some advice or do some mediation techniques. 

Male Baggage - this is has a target audience for men who are brought up to believe talking about their feelings is a sign of weakness. 

 ‘Enough of the bollocks. Real men talk’. This aims to break the stereotypes that are formed, and encourages men to talk about their feelings without fear of judgement. It has comical point of view as it has pink balloon bollocks attached. I think that this campaign is effective and different. It has the potential to tackle a whole host of overlooked issues that  mental health has formed over many years. 

Samaritans We Listen by MullenLowe London   - this agency has made posters to provide support to people when they are most in need. The charity works with the UK train industry to reduce suicides on the country’s railways as this is a issue that happens frequently.

After doing some research Samaritans had identified they were hearing from people when they were already at crisis point. What the best way they can do to prevent suicide is getting to people much much earlier. They want to get to the point of initial distress, rather than getting the last desperate phone call.

I like how the poster has highlighted specific words and added their details at the bottom of the poster. Could I create a poster? I feel that posters are something that gets designed easily by putting on a message and image and your done. 

Nest by John Lewis - is an campaign created with the mental health charity Mind. The purpose was to demonstrate how your home environment can directly affect your mental health and wellbeing. This guide helps people to declutter their home. 

Anxiety and depression - health crisis of the millennial generation. 

1 in 5 of 20-35 year olds currently suffer with anxiety and / or depression in the UK . 

These are issue that still isn't being publicly addressed. I can appreciate how this charity help people declutter their homes as it does affect our mood and wellbeing unlike research I have done that shows drugs are the common treatment given. 

Looking at this for inspiration I feel like a guide is something that I can produce - I just need to find my message and what I am solving. 

Stuart Semple - raise funds for CALM – campaign against living miserably. This artwork is apart of the band, Placebo. The artist is an ambassador for Mind, the mental health charity. Semple wanted to bring awareness to the issue of mental health and made this art piece. 

He researched into suicide and that it is the single largest cause of death amongst young men (20 – 45) in England and Wales. 

The charity helps and supports men of any ages who are down or in crisis using their telephone line and website. They also do work to challenge the stigma and culture that seems to prevent men asking for help. 

The artist states: ‘’I feel that this is vital and valuable service that goes underfunded’’. So all the bids on his work will go straight to the charity. 

I like the art piece shown and the effects that have been applied. Everyone has different pieces of design that expresses this situation. I feel that if I was to choose mental health how can I use design to express my response to this brief. 

[davidsilvercloud]

Terry David “Butch/Butch Naked” Silvercloud

“Step aside!  I shall perform the necessary heroics”  Comic Book Guy/The Simpsons

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” - T. S. Eliot

13 Million photo views, to date at http://ButchNaked.com.  Thank you.  At this time I’m getting about 200,000 photo views a week these days.

Again… thanks for the visits.

TELL EVERYONE.  Free photo downloads at http://BUTCHNAKED.COM

ButchNaked.com is hosted at: http://Flickr.com/David_Silvercloud

“That’s a great title.  It jumps out at you like a rat in your underwear drawer”   Moe Sizlack/The Simpsons

My homepage is http://ButchBoard.com ButchBoard will be maintained while I'm still above ground.  I'm 73 now. I’m not your average blade of grass.

“I’ve come to hate my own creation.  Now I know how God feels.”  Homer Simpson

Now keep reading.

THE DAILY GRIND… ARE WE THERE YET?

Be Prepared... Naloxone Training and Kits, British Columbia.  Free. Free is a very good price.

http://www.naloxonetraining.com/

Wednesday 27 Dec. 2017  The days are becoming longer, again.  Hooray.  I really dislike the very short days of winter.  Grey, cool and damp with light raindrops and snow flurries.  I got a lot of painting done, taking it light on exercises... my hips are hurting so I'm taking a sit up break and doing toe touching.

The end of another year.  Time to reflect and make plans for the coming year.  I've been doing the nude selfies for 3 years, now.  It was meant to be a one year project but I've been exercising more since I began pain management and hormone replacement.  I was feeling pretty crappy back in 2012 but, finally, found some good doctors and a good family doctor who had a hunch what my problem was and, now, I'm in hormone replacement therapy.

I hurt a lot but have learned to live with my aches.  They are under control about 2/3 of the time and the rest I've had to adjust to as part of my life.  Being old sucks.

So... still not sure what the coming year will be.  I am a year behind on my painting projects.  They were supposed to have been completed a year ago.  Oh well.  The good part is I've gotten a lot better at the painting thing and have developed a style quite my own.  Woohoo... or something.

As for the naked selfies?  Who knew so many people would want to see a naked old man?  Well, I have no shame and, if you wish to see my balls, it's OK with me.  I am, however, getting close to finishing the landscape painting project... over 25 landscapes in acrylic paint.  I have a large number of oil painting not completed and a large acrylic male nude to complete.  I want to put my energy into my paintings and making more podcast style videos.  I have an excellent theory about the cause of the Speed of Light that I want to spread around. (http://ElectronSpeed.Tumblr.com)

I'm trying, as best I can, to stay in shape so I'll continue to record my naked body but will, likely, not attempt to make it a daily thing.  I'm already OCD and changing my habits is hard once I get into something.  It takes time to upload photos and videos, so I plan to keep doing it but, more likely, every several days, or weekly.  Weekly would be best, I think.  I'll work it out over the next few days.  I want to do more video stuff... it's time consuming.

Anyhow, it's the end of 2017.  Can't believe I'm still alive.

FREE SPEECH is becoming an endangered subject.  It's becoming like a Henry Ford Model T.  You can have any colour you want so long as it's black.

Universities, those cash gouging institutions of poor learning try, not only, to crank more and more idiots through a course of meaningless shit for a meaningless degree taught by teachers who know little, they have become forces against progress and learning.  If you don't have a PhD, your degree didn't teach you very much and you likely forgot most of what you learned.  

If you have a Bachelor's degree, and nothing more, you blew your cash to bribe your way into a job you are likely not qualified for, anyway.  I have zero respect for a Bachelor of Arts degree... none.  You're not qualified for anything, at all.  You, likely, would fail a good grammar exam because your command of English is so poor.  I expect you know nothing much about anything.  You, likely, have poor math skills and know nothing of history, at all.  NADA.  Our educational system is in need of a complete overhaul.

There is no reason, at all, why every grade of school should not be online, 24 hours a day... every course, every subject, available to everyone, 24 hours a day... at home.  It would be constantly updated and improved with new knowledge.  Teachers who don't know much of their subject would become obsolete, rather quickly.  The only requirement to get a degree would be to pass a set of exams set by government.  Prove your identity, do the exams, and you're in.  Anyone, anywhere, could have an education in every grade and subject.  Schools, as we know them would become obsolete.

Now, if anyone has an opinion outside of the common thought, one is a heretic likely to lose one's job and position.  Universities bar speakers with opinions not shared by the common idiots.  We live in a world with no child left behind, everyone is as qualified as everyone else and everyone is a hero.  I so hate this world I, quite truly, look forward to being dead.  Seriously... I hate this planet and wish I had never been born into it.  I'm trying, my best, to save your idiot asses from a horrific future that is coming to this sick, sick, sick, sick planet.

I don't have the answers as to how to save the planet.  I expect nature to take its course and the bulk of the planet to die off, very soon.  We have terrible leaders and a hopeless population.  A benevolent dictatorship is the only way to rule this barbaric rock of a planet.

The problem is finding leaders who are qualified to rule.  The Chinese seem to be evolving into the future power on the planet.  I expect the Chinese will take over the planet.  They are totally ruthless and have no morals of any kind.

I said it, I mean it.  Oh?  You don't like my opinion?  Well, fuck you asshole.  I've tried 'nice'.  Nice does not work.  Have you ever noticed how con artists are all buddy buddy when they meet you?  All smiles and acting like your long lost friend?  It all goes well until you don't play along then it's "fuck you".  I try to be  nice to everyone and am not likely to make friends with anyone.  I don't trust humans one little bit.  You will have to prove yourself to me and I don't wait up.

"My little Eric can be, sometimes, a bit dramatic"  Eric Cartman's Mother/South Park

“it’s time to go home.  The insurance company said you’re as well as they’re going to pay for” Doctor Hibbert/The Simpsons

THIS IS THE END OF THE DAILY GRIND.

"He who controls the stuffing, controls the Universe."  Alien Pilgrim transported through a worm hole to Earth/South Park.

IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN HERE, BEFORE, HERE IS MORE STUFF TO READ…

"People who have never seen a movie say it's a great movie"  Apu/The Simpsons

"There is no God, Ned.  It's just an empty meaningless void"  Maude Flanders' ghost/The Simpsons

I repeat myself, a lot, because I know humans are really bad at paying attention, and understanding much of anything they read.  Quite, bluntly, I consider most humans to be walking, talking idiots.  I'm doing as best I know how to save you from your stupidity.

I’m a bit OCD and ADHD and go on, and on, like a dripping tap.  Think Sheldon Cooper, if that rings some kind of bell.  I gather it’s some kind of need I have to be, constantly, in complete control of everything.  I quite simply assume everyone around me is a complete idiot.  The humans aren’t doing a very good job of convincing me otherwise.  You must prove yourself to me.  Seriously, I mean it.  I expect to be disappointed.   Show me what you’ve got and back it up with proof.

http://DavidSilvercloud.com (Blog)    (http://David_Silvercloud.Tumblr.com)

http://ButchNews.com (Video)     (http://YouTube.com/ButchNews)

http://ButchNaked.com (Photo Stream)    (http://Flickr.com/David_Silvercloud)

http://SeriousThunder.com (Art)

http://ElectronSpeed.Tumblr.com     The Electron sets the speed of light… yup.  Physics… The Speed of Light, Grand Unified Theory, Gravity, Dark Matter, Dark Energy… how the physical size of the Electron is the clock that sets the speed of light.  Gravity is motion and a product of the fact that nothing ever sits still, combined with the magnetic properties of Dark Matter/Energy.  Nothing can ever move in an absolute circle and rest is a relativity illusion.

The ENTIRE universe is based upon a simple fact... it must have TWO parts.  It can not be otherwise and is impossible to be otherwise.  This is because of what a physicist calls "spin".

If you had only one substance to make the universe with and it could be broken down to as small as it needed to be at any time... i.e. it could be so small it barely exists, at all, there will STILL be TWO different types... that is because one can choose to spin LEFT or RIGHT in space.  Even turning yourself upside down will not change that fact because there is no up, nor down, in space.

The fact that everything SOLID must have spin, either left or right, introduces opposite forces.  Things which spin the SAME way repel each other, those that spin the OPPOSITE way attract each other... clumping begins and so does a universe.  Another thing comes into being... what we term magnetism.  There MUST be opposite POLES... magnetism comes into being with spin.  Spin creates opposites, including North/South polarity.  In Atoms, any atom that isn't in balance... has an equal number of left and right spinning Electrons, will be affected by magnetism... and radio waves.

Absolute rest is not possible… ever.  For instance, the Sun and planets are moving around the Milky Way at about 230Km/S and the Milky way is moving through space about 400-600 Kilometres per second.  Nothing ever goes backwards, nothing ever travels in a circle.

The universe can not end.  Time is change and is an illusion.  Time is entirely relative to how large/small something is.  If you are an Electron of less than 1/1,000,000,000,000,000th of a metre, in size, one second is a VERY, VERY, VERY, long time.  One foot is a VERY, VERY, VERY long distance to an Electron.  Light travel just less than ONE FOOT in a billionth of a second.  Time awareness is entirely dependent on how large something is.  The Milky Way requires over 150 million light years to exist... it is HERE and THERE, at the same time... a single entity that requires over 150 million light years to cross... or how an Electron views a distance of several feet.

It is always now, everywhere, all at once, all of the time. Proof of that is that ANY object MUST be HERE and THERE at the SAME time, no matter how large… even a Galaxy.  It is always NOW on both sides… here and there, in space,  of the Galaxy… all galaxies, everywhere.  Waves can be either physical or electronic.  The duality of the universe keeps it ongoing.  DNA is the battery of life.  When the chains can no longer co-operate, life ceases in the body.  Life, itself, is a duality.  Time measurement is a relativity convenience.)  Time travel is impossible because time is not a place and nothing stays where it was.  One year from now the Solar System will have moved about seven BILLION kilometres through space and will NEVER return to where it was… ever.

Earth travels through space like a long wave… it has NEVER, ever made an actual circle, nor ellipse, in space.  The circle/ellipse is an illusion of relativity.  Nothing can ever travel in an actual circle in space… NOTHING.  Nothing can ever go backward.  Backwards motion is an illusion of relativity.  Time is a repercussion of change and has no fixed rate… things explode or move like a glacier.  At best we can only compare rates of change.  Our rate of change is called the second/minute/hour/day/month/year system.

NOTHING CAN EVER MOVE IN A TRUE CIRCLE.  THE EARTH HAS NEVER MADE A LOOP IN SPACE… EVER.  YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW.

WATCH VIDEO FOR EXPLANATION OF THE PATH OF EARTH THROUGH SPACE.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPjohZCMwmI

Earth moves about 7 billion kilometers through space, each year… in a long wave.  Earth NEVER returns to where it was before.  Earth is NOT an island in space… one of the reasons why time travel is impossible.  If you take a trip through space, outside the Solar System, Earth will NOT be there when you return… it will be far, far away.  You will have to return to where it will BE when you arrive… remember, it’s moving very, very, very fast through space in a long wave… never a circle, or ellipse.

http://The-Shape-Of-God.Tumbler.com   Manuscript of my book… The Shape of God.

Butch, himself.  Visual Artist, Photographer, Physicist (Particle, Sub/Atomic Physics/Relativity)

Inhibitions are just so inhibiting, I avoid them.

I’m a friendly, but pretty blunt, kind of guy.  No time for beating around the bush.  I like to say what I mean and mean what I say.  I’m 73 years old.  Time is not on my side.  You don’t have to like me.  I’m a social recluse, anyway.  I share my life, in photos, video, and words, to let you into my life and hope to inspire you to be a productive and useful human.  I have old age issues but will continue to post, here, while I’m well and able.  I talk a lot… I’m told it’s part of my OCD and ADHD.  Come direct at http://ButchNaked.com  Sign in if you wish to see me naked.

If you don’t know me, the following might help you get to know what kind of person I am.  I don’t expect you to understand me.  I can be a bit OCD and ADHD.

“They’ve already got more blowjobs than we’ll ever get”  Steve Smith (American Dad), talking about college jocks.

“Now let us touch testicles and mate for life”  Alien on The Simpsons

“It never hurts to have a second set of prints on a gun”  Nelson Muntz, The Simpsons.

I’m here to teach you things.  While I appreciate other people’s opinions, I really don’t much give a crap what anyone thinks.  Until you prove your worth, I will be nice but you have to earn my respect. The moment you say a word, I’ll be figuring you out really, really fast.  You should assume that I don’t trust anyone.  I’ve not met a single trustworthy person in my entire life.  I’ve met lots of nice people who aren’t too bright… well-intentioned folk who know little about anything, people who are nice, most of the time until you say something that offends them.  Honourable people agree to disagree.

Look up the phrase “CRITICAL THINKING” then learn to practice it.  Most people leap before they look and judge before they listen to the facts.  Most don’t have enough knowledge, nor experience, to be experts in much of anything.  You don’t know what you don’t know.  I like to remind you of that, often.

The only other REALLY IMPORTANT thing to know about me is that I, totally, despise all religions, the teaching of religion, and religious institutions… I despise them as the evilest things on the planet.  If you follow a religion, you CAN NOT BE MY FRIEND.   THAT’S THAT.  You are an ignorant idiot who is an ever-present danger to yourself and everyone and everything around you.  Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, is eviler than religion.  I don’t stand for, nor sing, our National Anthem because it praises a fictitious and superstitious being called ‘God’.  Only a brain dead moron bonehead ignorant idiot would believe such a thing.

If you have a religion, I will not associate with you… period.  You are a danger to be around.  Yes, I insult religions… they are extraordinarily evil.  I said it, I mean it.  You have a right to be an idiot, but not around me.  I have a right to defend myself against the horrors of religion and I will.  Religion is evil.  People who are into religion are, either, brainwashed or extraordinarily ignorant, not very intelligent, a danger to themselves and everyone around them, and must be avoided.  I can’t say it enough times.  If you have a religion you are brainwashed or too fucking stupid to associate with.  Brainwashed, or stupid… either way you are too dangerous to be around.  Religion is the number one problem in the world.

http://The-Shape-Of-God.Tumblr.com

I keep a homepage at http://ButchBoard.com

My main video page is http://YouTube.com/ButchNews   go direct at http://ButchNews.com

You may come directly to my photostream at http://ButchNaked.com You may download and share nude photos of me… go nuts.

I have zero inhibitions about nudity and sex.  You must sign in to see me naked.  I talk, openly, about sex.  You may download and share nude photos of me… go nuts.

"Wow!  THAT had what I really like in a story... an ending."  Homer Simpson.

[vrdentbh-blog]

I’m literally so late to the party because work hates me and wants to take all the good things from my life, but thankfully I only have two more shifts and I’m free. Anywaysssss I’m sure none of you care about my work struggles so let’s start with the intro shall we? I’m Sav, just your average drag, rick and morty, and conspiracy theory obsessed 20 year old. I live in the EST timezone but my insomnia keeps me woke so do timezones even exist for me anymore ??? Alright enough about my messy ass let’s move onto Arden, my little mess doing her best to keep it together

{ tw: OCD, trichotillomania, calorie counting and disordered body image, idk other body things having to do with her compulsions, toxic relationship}

ok so let’s start at the beginning shall we? Her mother is from Brighton but moved to Norway when she was in her early twenties and fell in love, you know how it goes, and had two beautiful babies. First was arden and two years later alexander, her little brother was born.

They lived in Bergen, Norway until she was 13 and her parents got divorced. It wasn’t like super messy, but her mom doesn’t even talk to her dad except for a few exceptions so if that’s any hint to how things ended. Honestly they would fight all the time and life got a lot quieter and more pleasant once they left.

Arden and her brother moved with their mom to Brighton to live with her sister till they figured things out and they all loved Brighton so much they stayed. Honestly Arden sees herself staying here forever.

Her mom was very consistent with teaching her kids both english and Norwegian so she’s super bilingual and if she’s intoxicated or super emotional she’ll probably switch between the two and the Norwegian tones in her accent become more noticeable.  

Despite being a very outgoing and effervescent child, the older she got the light inside her started to dim. It was slow and unnoticeable for a while and then everything went down hill at once. 

It started being noticeable when she developed trichotillomania, that was a side effect of her long term anxiety that was hard to hide. She was 13 when that started and despite going to a phycologist they didn’t leave with a diagnosis more than just generalized anxiety, not wanting to just jump to something more serious.

After a health class during year ten things got a . Girls in class would talk about skin care and acne and the oil build up on your skin and dirt filling her pores and suddenly all she could feel was the oil and clogged pores. and cue the extreme skin care, often leading to excessive exfoliation daily, even multiple times on bad days, often leaving her face red and raw and it was quite painful. It even left her with some scaring.

The second thing to come from this class was a lesson on calorie intake and how much you should have daily to be healthy for your body type. She became consumed with the need to hit that exact number everyday, afraid if she didn’t she’d suddenly change body types and would have to deal with all the supposed health issues they discussed in class. She would spend hours calculating and memorizing calories and planning out everything she’d eat to not be over or under that number. 

The combination of these two new changes she went back to the doctor and was diagnosed with OCD and thus began a long journey of therapy and meds to try and get things under control. Over that time she still developed more obsessions and compulsions but tbh I haven’t decided on what those are yet. And it wasn’t till she was 19 that things got so bad it lead her to spending a couple months in an inpatient program and it honestly saved her life.

When she got home that old light became noticeable again. It was like welcoming back a friend you hadn’t seen in years because she was so far from who she really is for years. Things were noticeably better when she got back but still most days there were struggles and although the bad days are less frequent still nothing is completely easy.

She still has a strict skin care routine but it’s no longer harming her and although she is still conscious of what she eats she doesn’t keep track of numbers and most days she doesn’t feel guilty for giving her body what she needs even when it’s more than a calculation said she did.

Ok moving on from that heaviness, Arden works at page turners books and honestly she just loves literature and just words in general. like she will geek out over the beauty of words. She’d love to be an english teacher one day and is currently saving up for school now that she feels like she’s in a solid place emotionally to go back to school.

She can read five languages so that’s hella cool and honestly she just has a wealth of random knowlege

She’s also an aesthetic hoe like she does it for the gram, she’ll go out of her way to do things that make her feel like she’s in a movie and she’ll spend pointless money on things just because she has built up her own personal aesthetic and needs to stick to it because it makes her feel good you feel.

She’s lowkey jealous of the workers at neon night club because she thinks their job looks so fun and somedays she wants to be the type of person that works at cool night clubs, but honestly she can’t even be there for more than an hour or two because it’s just so over stimulating, that damn anxiety.

Oh and to make her time in highschool even worse she was in a two year toxic and manipulative relationship like it was real fucked up and honestly despite it all she’s still lowkey in love with him because that’s just how things are with those types of relationships.

Since then she hasn’t dated or really even wanted to. I mean she’s had crushes but never really pursued them, afraid history would repeat itself. Also being physically intimate with other people is really hard for her.

She has this super independent complex, a mix of not wanting to burden people and also not wanting to ever feel like can’t handle things on her own. She’s super stubborn guys, but she’s really trying to work on letting people in, but it’s hard you feel.

Over all she’s an a strong independent aesthetic hoe that is just doing her best to be her best everyday.

tbh I’m probably missing so much but hey it’s 2:15 in the am and like I’m just impressed I was able to write a real intro so go me. Anyways let’s plot please !!!

[sumithahemavathy]

6 Reasons Identified – Delayed ADHD Diagnosis in Adults | Best ADHD Centre near Me

It’s a huge challenge getting diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. To start with, the basic underlying diagnostic criteria for ADHD are usually designed to identify symptoms among children and not among adults. Adults typically tend to have an entirely different set of such symptoms, like being too hard working or let’s say individuals with problem solving nature who have eventually found ways to cope with their symptoms.

When kids show signs of disruptiveness or is discovered to have learning disabilities then generally ADHD diagnosis is done. If they couldn’t notice these symptoms initially tend never to get an official diagnosis.

CAPAAR the Best ADHD Centre in Bangalore is here to help you how to diagnose with ADHD. Dr. P. Sumitha Hemavathy (PT) the Best ADHD Specialist in Bangalore has explained you seven reasons why most of the people with ADHD tend to miss the opportunity of getting diagnosed:

1) Mediocre Criteria for Adult ADHD diagnosis

In fact till today many physicians doesn’t believe that ADHD exists, especially among adults. The worse thing is that almost 90% of psychiatrists treating adults claim not to have any ADHD training.  Physicians consider the importance of having ADHD training added to their medical practice. People generally think that ADHD is for kids, this is where most are unaware of knowing the symptoms in adults.

Most physicians still now are following the old and outdated little boy archetype. Due to this, they aren’t  much familiar that adults also experience ADHD like sleeping difficulties, relationship turmoil, and rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD). These symptoms are not found in children and also  it isn’t included in  ADHD symptoms outlined by the National Health Service (NHS)

The reason why it has to be diagnosed  in early stage is, all of these criticisms and pressure can build up into shame that can make seeking for medical help seem impossible.

2) Incorrect Diagnosis

When ADHD symptoms are overlapping with other mental health conditions, it’s a pretty common possibilities of doctors making mistakes with their diagnosis. They may mess-up  your ADHD symptoms with other symptoms which overlaps with ADHD like anxiety, mood disorders, OCD, or other mental health conditions. Hyperactivity for adults could be inbounded. You might even feel that the racing thoughts are the  result of anxiety whereas it could have actually caused by over-activity in brain because of ADHD.

It is little complicated to detect and diagnose when it is Internal behaviours, which inturn makes doctors take longer time to come up with accurate diagnosis ADHD symptoms during a integrated clinical interview. However, most doctors only offer only 5-10 minutes visit to their clinic, which is not enough time, to say the least.

3) Coping Skills & High IQ Could Lead To Missed Symptoms

An above average brighter and more creative mind can be a result of an ADHD influenced nervous system.This is the reason, adults with ADHD tend to develop ways to live with it with their ADHD symptoms and manage their ADHD tendencies and make their way through life. Possibility comes when an adult has a child who is also is diagnosed with ADHD or raises serious concerns about their career becoming too stressful and too challenging to cope up with.

4) Fear Of Medication

The fear that ADHD medication aggravates their symptoms, or interfere with other meds that they are also consuming leads people with mood or anxiety disorders to often hesitate about getting treatment for their ADHD . However studies show that few commonly used stimulants do not worsen anxiety, especially when an appropriate dosage is administered. As long as conditions like high blood pressure and other types of disorder are kept under control, ADHD medication can be 100% safe. It must be known that Stimulants won't do any harm until the dosage is inappropriate.

5) Self-Treatment & Medication

Result of Undiagnosed ADHD disorder can makes your child to feel as depression and low self-confidence. These effects are brought by their lifetime of poor job and relationship performance. Many adults who go undiagnosed with ADHD will resort to self-medication consisting of alcohol, drugs, smoking, and several other bad habits.

However, 20% of undiagnosed ADHD adults have obtained their ADHD-regulation solution through their regular exercises.  In order to get relief from ADHD Symptoms they can translate an hour of aerobic activities into four hours. On the other hand abuse caffeine, which isn’t the best solution - but still works better than another to manage their ADHD symptoms.

6) Slow response to Medication

Just because of lack an immediate reaction to ADHD medication it doesn’t’ mean that you don’t have an ADHD. It can also be either the dosage is just a way off, or the medication you’re taking doesn’t fit. . If you’ve tried methylphenidate and it didn’t work, amphetamine might be an alternative solution.

Most of the time, it can take a few tries to find the right treatment for your ADHD. Some people tend to give up after failing on the first try. One way to treat your ADHD is not to give up and try other alternative medications until you come up with the best one for you.

Get Expert Help Now

The main reason why the few people get a late diagnosis of ADHD is that they tend to ignore their ADHD symptoms. Some people are assuming that it will eventually subside but it didn’t because of that now you’re facing ADHD as an adult.

Unless you do something about it your symptoms will stay and can’t be diagnosed. So if you think that you have ADHD, it’s the crucial part in your life. It’s better to get the treatment right away for the Best ADHD Specialist in Bangalore. Book an appointment with the search of Best ADHD Clinic near Me in your local area ADHD centre today and get a proper diagnosis as early as possible.

If you live on or near Bangalore, you’ll be relieved to know that the CAPAAR  Best ADHD Centre in Bangalore is currently operating in these areas.

 To Know More,

Click Here,

www.capaar4autism.com

[samuelfields]

Mental Illness Deserves A Sick Day Just Like A Physical Illness

What’s great about America is that we’ve got a highly productive workforce that grinds like no other. We invent some of the greatest products and consistently build some of the largest companies in the world.

What’s sad about America is that we’re working ourselves to an early death. We pride ourselves on working double digit work hours a day. We pack our schedules to the brim and never give ourselves a break.

I’m guilty of adopting the “always be grinding” mentality because I landed a a dream job in New York City after college and then migrated to San Francisco, another hyper-competitive city. I didn’t want to take my luck for granted, so I tended to constantly push myself to the limit.

Even after I left full-time work in 2012 after 13 years of 60-80-hour work weeks, I still wanted to keep the intensity up with my writing on Financial Samurai. I was free to kick back and do whatever thanks to passive income, but I refused to live a life of leisure after the first six months of freedom.

Unnecessary self-imposed pressures are why so many of us aren’t as happy as we should be. As soon as I let go of my perennial goals of outperforming the S&P and reaching ever higher website growth, I started to feel happier.

Accept Your Mental Illness

Nobody bats an eye if you tell them you’re planning on taking several days off because you’ve come down with the flu or some nasty bacteria. Falling physically ill is normal, especially if you’ve got little ones running around.

But nobody comes out and admits they have a mental illness that’s keeping them down. Yet I argue we all experience some sort of mental illness at some point in our lives.

I come down with a mental illness at least once a year.

Sometimes I get depressed about how unfair life is. My depression always focuses on why some people have so much opportunity, while other people have so little opportunity.

I go through a guilt phase where I often ask, why me? During this time period, I have no desire to hang out with anyone. I start thinking wild ideas like relocating to Virginia over Hawaii because I need a certain amount of suffering to feel more worthy.

While living in Malaysia, one of my friends died in a car accident at age 15. He lost control and rammed into a tree off the highway. Yes, he legally wasn’t allowed to drive, but we were irreverent. The passenger in the front seat didn’t survive either.

We were skateboard buddies from different schools who would hang out over the weekend. He was one of the coolest kids around and I wanted to go out with him to the club that night, but he ignored me because I was only 13.

The next day, I called Mark to ask whether he wanted to hang out. I will always remember his mother’s voice telling me he had passed away.

I have survivor’s guilt. I’ve learned that one of the best ways of overcoming this mental condition is to journal my thoughts and be useful to others. Over the years, no other activity has helps me more.

The reason why I started Financial Samurai in July 2009 was due to extreme anxiety and fear that I was going to lose everything I spent 10 years building up until the financial crisis.

I had nightmares of having to go back to work flipping burgers at McDonald’s for a tyrant manager. As a result, perhaps I am more sensitive to financial loss than the average person.

Through my posts and now through the Financial Samurai Forum, I’ve found a supportive community that acts as my supplemental mental health care system. Over the years, so many folks have reached out to share similar thoughts.

Take Sick Days For Your Mental Health

When I advised employees to take sick days instead of PTO in my post, Using Vacation Days Before A Severance Negotiation, I expected some readers to question my advice given our always be grinding society.

Here are a couple responses of disapproval,

“Your suggestion of using sick days in lieu of vacation days is a gray area. Some companies have policies which theoretically forbid that. Or, if you use a certain amount of sick days in a row (say 3 or more) you have to get a doctors note. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be relaxing on the beach in Hawaii having to call my boss each day pretending to be sick.“

“Taking a sick day when I am not sick? Sorry, my moral code won’t let me go there. A day’s pay used to be worth a couple of grand, that is significant, but the price of my word, that is nonnegotiable, or priceless, if it is a Visa commercial. And if the company is being evil, well, that’s on them, I’m fine with fighting but I only fight fair regardless of how someone else fights. What anyone else does, not my problem, what I do, I have to live with that guy.“

To a manager or CEO, these responses are music to their ears. Their goal is to have employees be max loyal to the firm, while they enrich themselves with max reward.

What the commenters don’t recognize is the importance of taking sick days to improve one’s mental health. Their automatic assumption is that sick days are only for physical illnesses, which is a big blind spot.

I used to work at a firm that allowed a three-month sabbatical for every five years of work. Unfortunately, no manager ever took a sabbatical, which meant that nobody else took a sabbatical out of fear of getting a crap bonus or worse.

But after my 8th year at the firm, I decided to take a step towards living a more balanced life by taking all my vacation days. For the last three years at my old firm, I took six weeks off a year and loved it. I stopped giving a crap about what others thought.

Interestingly, while I took six weeks off a year, my production improved. Unfortunately, my firm didn’t properly compensate me for my production. But instead of complaining, I negotiated a severance.

Types Of Mental Illnesses

Perhaps you still have doubts about how common mental illness really is. Well here is an infographic that puts together many mental health issues. I’ve written most of them out since there are so many and the graph is so small.

Types Of Anxiety

Agora

PTSD

OCD

Acute Stress Disorder

Adjustment Disorder

Substance Induced

Separation Anxiety

Selective Mutism

Caffeine Induced

Androphobia (fear of men)

Panic

Social

Generalized

Types Of Schizophrenia

Schizoaffective

Paranoid

Brief Psychotic

Schizophrenium

Delusional

Shared Psychotic

Disorganized/ Hebephrenia

Cenesthopathic

Types Of Eating Disorders

Anorexia Nervosa

Bulimia Nervosa

Binge Eating

Eating Disorder Not Other Specified (EDNOS)

Atypical

Purging

Night/Nocturnal

Orthorexia

Pica

Types Of Self Harm

Cutting

Carving

Using Objects (kicking or punching a wall)

Scratching

Picking

Ripping Skin off

Promiscuity

Burning

Hair Pulling

Rubbing objects on the skin

Misusing or Abusing Alcohol or drugs

Eating Disorders

Suicide Attempt

Law Breaking

Poisoning with toxic chemicals

Excessive exercise

Multiple piercings and/or tattoos

Overspending money

Types of ADD/ADHD

Inattentive

Hyperactive-Impulsive

Classic ADD

Overfocused ADD

Temporal Lobe ADD

Limbic ADD

Ring of Fire ADD

Anxious ADD

Types of Addiction

Alcoholism

Drugs

Nicotine

Food

Gambling

Internet

Sexual

Shopping

Work

Video Games

Plastic Surgery

OTC Medications

Arson

People Pleasing

Perfectionism

Sick Days Are Built Into Your Compensation Package

Not utilizing your sick days or PTO or not taking unemployment benefits is foolish because they are part of your compensation package. Your employer pays unemployment insurance, which directly affects your compensation.

Don’t be a proud ignoramus like me who only took maybe 15 sick days after 11 years of service, when I was allotted 77 sick days. Definitely don’t be one of those people who hoard their PTO and actually lose some of their days because they exceeded the carryover limit.

Take your sick days, take your vacation days, use short-term disability and long-term disability when needed.

You don’t feel bad about your employer subsidizing most of your healthcare costs. So why should you feel bad about taking sick days?

If your employer gets around the unpaid PTO issue by offering unlimited PTO, your mission is to take more PTO, especially if you are planning to do something else. Test the the word “unlimited.” So long as you’re hitting your performance metrics, you should be fine.

We’re in a tight labor market folks. The very least you can do is take advantage of all your benefits. And for goodness sake, let’s all accept that mental illness affects us all in some way.

Once you embrace the ubiquity of mental illness, you will develop more empathy for those whom you find disagreeable. Peace and love.

Related:

Using The Family Medical Leave Act To Negotiate A Severance

Sweet (Or Sweat) Dreams Of Becoming A Millionaire again

The Book That Changed My Life And Made Me Rich Again

Readers, why doesn’t society do a better job at recognizing mental illnesses? Why do some people feel embarrassed or conflicted about taking sick days or PTO? Have people been conditioned this badly to not recognize their benefits?

The post Mental Illness Deserves A Sick Day Just Like A Physical Illness appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from Finance https://www.financialsamurai.com/mental-illness-deserves-a-sick-day-just-like-a-physical-illness/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[ronaldmrashid]

Mental Illness Deserves A Sick Day Just Like A Physical Illness

What’s great about America is that we’ve got a highly productive workforce that grinds like no other. We invent some of the greatest products and consistently build some of the largest companies in the world.

What’s sad about America is that we’re working ourselves to an early death. We pride ourselves on working double digit work hours a day. We pack our schedules to the brim and never give ourselves a break.

I’m guilty of adopting the “always be grinding” mentality because I landed a a dream job in New York City after college and then migrated to San Francisco, another hyper-competitive city. I didn’t want to take my luck for granted, so I tended to constantly push myself to the limit.

Even after I left full-time work in 2012 after 13 years of 60-80-hour work weeks, I still wanted to keep the intensity up with my writing on Financial Samurai. I was free to kick back and do whatever thanks to passive income, but I refused to live a life of leisure after the first six months of freedom.

Needless self-imposed pressures are why so many of us aren’t as happy as we should be. As soon as I let go of my perennial goals of outperforming the S&P and reaching ever higher website growth, I started to feel happier.

Accept Your Mental Illness

Nobody bats an eye if you tell them you’re planning on taking several days off because you’ve come down with the flu or some nasty bacteria. Falling physically ill is normal, especially if you’ve got little ones running around.

But nobody comes out and admits they have a mental illness that’s keeping them down. Yet I argue we all experience some sort of mental illness at some point in our lives.

I come down with a mental illness at least once a year.

Sometimes I get depressed about how unfair life is. My depression always focuses on why some people have so much opportunity, while other people have so little opportunity.

I go through a guilt phase where I often ask, why me? During this time period, I have no desire to hang out with anyone. I start thinking wild ideas like relocating to Virginia over Hawaii because I need a certain amount of suffering to feel more worthy.

While living in Malaysia, one of my friend’s died in a car accident at age 15. He lost control and rammed into a tree off the highway. Yes, he legally wasn’t allowed to drive, but we were irreverent in Kuala Lumpur. The passenger in the front seat didn’t survive either.

We were skateboard buddies from different schools who would hang out over the weekend. He was one of the coolest kids around and I wanted to go out with him to the club that night, but he ignored me because I was only 13.

The next day, I called Mark to ask whether he wanted to hang out. I will always remember his mother’s voice telling me he had passed away.

I have survivor’s guilt. I’ve learned that one of the best ways of overcoming this mental condition is to journal my thoughts and be useful to others. Over the years, no other activity has helps me more.

The reason why I started Financial Samurai in July 2009 was due to extreme anxiety and fear that I was going to lose everything I spent 10 years building up until the financial crisis.

I had nightmares of having to go back to work flipping burgers at McDonald’s for a tyrant manager. As a result, perhaps I am more sensitive to financial loss than the average person.

Through my posts and now through the Financial Samurai Forum, I’ve found a supportive community that acts as my supplemental mental health care system. Over the years, so many folks have reached out to share similar thoughts.

Take Sick Days For Your Mental Health

When I advised employees to take sick days instead of PTO in my post, Using Vacation Days Before A Severance Negotiation, I expected some readers to question my advice given our grinding society.

Here are a couple negative responses,

“Your suggestion of using sick days in lieu of vacation days is a gray area. Some companies have policies which theoretically forbid that. Or, if you use a certain amount of sick days in a row (say 3 or more) you have to get a doctors note. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be relaxing on the beach in Hawaii having to call my boss each day pretending to be sick.“

“Taking a sick day when I am not sick? Sorry, my moral code won’t let me go there. A day’s pay used to be worth a couple of grand, that is significant, but the price of my word, that is nonnegotiable, or priceless, if it is a Visa commercial. And if the company is being evil, well, that’s on them, I’m fine with fighting but I only fight fair regardless of how someone else fights. What anyone else does, not my problem, what I do, I have to live with that guy.“

To a manager or CEO, these responses are music to their ears. Their goal is to have employees be max loyal to the firm, while they enrich themselves with max reward.

What the commenters don’t recognize is the importance of taking sick days to improve one’s mental health. Their automatic assumption is that sick days are only for physical illnesses, which is a big blind spot.

I used to work at a firm that allowed a three-month sabbatical for every five years of work. Unfortunately, no manager ever took a sabbatical, which meant that nobody else took a sabbatical out of fear of getting a crap bonus or worse.

But after my 8th year at the firm, I decided to take a step towards living a more balanced life by taking all my vacation days. For the last three years at my old firm, I took six weeks off a year and loved it. I stopped giving a crap about what others thought.

Interestingly, while I took six weeks off a year, my production improved. Unfortunately, my firm didn’t properly compensate me for my production. But instead of complaining, I negotiated a severance.

Types Of Mental Illnesses

Perhaps you still have doubts about how common mental illness really is. Well here is an infographic that puts together many mental health issues. I’ve written most of them out since there are so many and the graph is so small.

Types Of Anxiety

Agora

PTSD

OCD

Acute Stress Disorder

Adjustment Disorder

Substance Induced

Separation Anxiety

Selective Mutism

Caffeine Induced

Androphobia (fear of men)

Panic

Social

Generalized

Types Of Schizophrenia

Schizoaffective

Paranoid

Brief Psychotic

Schizophrenium

Delusional

Shared Psychotic

Disorganized/ Hebephrenia

Cenesthopathic

Types Of Eating Disorders

Anorexia Nervosa

Bulimia Nervosa

Binge Eating

Eating Disorder Not Other Specified (EDNOS)

Atypical

Purging

Night/Nocturnal

Orthorexia

Pica

Types Of Self Harm

Cutting

Carving

Using Objects (kicking or punching a wall)

Scratching

Picking

Ripping Skin off

Promiscuity

Burning

Hair Pulling

Rubbing objects on the skin

Misusing or Abusing Alcohol or drugs

Eating Disorders

Suicide Attempt

Law Breaking

Poisoning with toxic chemicals

Excessive exercise

Multiple piercings and/or tattoos

Overspending money

Types of ADD/ADHD

Inattentive

Hyperactive-Impulsive

Classic ADD

Overfocused ADD

Temporal Lobe ADD

Limbic ADD

Ring of Fire ADD

Anxious ADD

Types of Addiction

Alcoholism

Drugs

Nicotine

Food

Gambling

Internet

Sexual

Shopping

Work

Video Games

Plastic Surgery

OTC Medications

Arson

People Pleasing

Perfectionism

Sick Days Are Built Into Your Compensation Package

Not utilizing your sick days or PTO or not taking unemployment benefits is foolish because they are part of your compensation package. Your employer pays unemployment insurance, which directly affects your compensation.

Don’t be a proud ignoramus like me who only took maybe 15 sick days after 11 years of service, when I was allotted 77 sick days. Definitely don’t be one of those people who hoard their PTO and actually lose some of their days because they exceeded the carryover limit.

Take your sick days, take your vacation days, use short-term disability and long-term disability when needed.

You don’t feel bad about your employer subsidizing most of your healthcare costs. So why should you feel bad about taking sick days?

If your employer gets around the unpaid PTO issue by offering unlimited PTO, your mission is to take more PTO, especially if you are planning to do something else. Test the the word “unlimited.” So long as you’re hitting your performance metrics, you should be fine.

We’re in a tight labor market folks. The very least you can do is take advantage of all your benefits. And for goodness sake, let’s all accept that mental illness affects us all in some way.

Once you embrace the ubiquity of mental illness, you will develop more empathy for those whom you find uncomfortable.

Related: Using The Family Medical Leave Act To Negotiate A Severance

Readers, why doesn’t society do a better job at recognizing mental illnesses? Why do some people feel embarrassed or conflicted about taking sick days or PTO? Have people been conditioned this badly to not recognize their benefits?

The post Mental Illness Deserves A Sick Day Just Like A Physical Illness appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from https://www.financialsamurai.com/mental-illness-deserves-a-sick-day-just-like-a-physical-illness/