#doctor tells me the medication change is a coincidence. its my anxiety and i need to take a walk!

[themindelectricdemo4]

Okay sorry I thought my heart fucking exploded this morning and I literally felt it was swish around and shit oh yeah did I forget to mention I haven't slept in 2 full days and eaten in 24 (this has since been fixed)

[oss-crime]

Chapter 2-Project “Ma” –Eve–; Scene 3

Original Sin Story: Crime, pages 23-37

Apparently the carriage’s speed was enough to outrace their pursuers.

After they arrived at Nemu village, they headed for Eve’s house, which was also the residence of the village chief.

This village had no clinics. As he had some medical knowledge, the village chief also acted as the village doctor.

“Welcome home…And who are these people, Eve?”

Chief Zvezda’s eyes went wide when he saw Eve carrying in two men, one of them injured.

“They were attacked on the plains by the white army. This one’s wounded.”

“It looks that way…Well then, you sit over here. I’ll examine you.”

Seth obeyed the chief’s words, taking a seat in a chair set deeper in the room.

After watching him silently, Eve spoke up to Adam “Are you alright? You didn’t get injured or anything?”

“No, luckily for me. More than that—”

Before Adam could continue his sentence, the village chief cut in as he wrapped a bandage around Seth’s head, “Judging by your outfits…you two are researchers from the royal capital.”

“Ho, you’re quite well-informed.”

“Director Horus of the Royal Research Institute is an old acquaintance of mine. Is he still working hard on research artifacts as usual?”

Adam hesitated for a moment, before telling the chief, “No…He’s passed on. Two years ago. Right now I’m working as director in his place.”

“How…I see, I hadn’t known. I’ve stopped going to the Twelve Royal Capitals lately. And so that would make you—”

“Horus’ adopted son, Adam.”

“I’ve heard your name from him, but I suppose that would make this our first time meeting like this.”

“Yes, and—"

This time Seth butt in. “Erm…I’d appreciate it if you could patch up my wound first.”

“Oops, sorry.”

The chief flusteredly resumed wrapping bandages.

“…Hm?”

He made a puzzled expression, peering at Seth’s face.

“Your left eye looks funny. Is that injured as well?”

“Ah…No, it’s always been like that. I haven’t been able to see out of this eye from birth.”

“A defective left eye…Horus was like that too, as I recall.”

“Ha ha, that’s right. Just a coincidence.”

.

After Seth’s treatment was finished, the researchers bowed their heads to Eve and the village chief and said their thanks.

The chief offered for them to rest at the village for a while.

“The white army wouldn’t go as far as attacking us here,” the chief revealed.

Adam replied, giving him a courteous smile, “Is that because this place is a village of sorcerers?”

“…My my, so the son of Horus is able to glean that much.” The village chief sat down in a nearby chair, a hand on his aching hip. “Let me ask you a question instead, Adam. For what purpose did you all come to this remote place? I’d think that scientists would have little interest in an excavation site, of all things.”

“That’s not so. After all is said and done we’re researchers of the old legacy. It wouldn’t be all that strange for us to want to see where it’s excavated.”

“But up until this point we have never once had a scientist go visit there. Your aim is not the excavation site.”

The village chief’s tone had hardened, but Adam wasn’t intimidated. “Chief Zvezda—No, esteemed sorcerer Raiou Zvezda. It seems you have something in mind already. As it happens, we also have several things we’d like to talk to you about.”

“So I’m the one you’ve been after.”

“Actually, to be more accurate—” Adam turned to Eve. “—We came here to meet her.”

The peaceful atmosphere that had been in the room just moments ago changed in an instant.

Eve could feel a sense of unease.

This wasn’t a light matter; especially considering they had come here with a retinue of soldiers.

Appearing to guess at Eve’s anxiety, the chief said to her, “Eve, please go outside for a minute.”

But Eve shook her head.

“If there’s a reason why these scientists are interested in a humble village girl like me, then I want to know what it is,” she said, somewhat challengingly.

It wasn’t like she’d never done anything of note. Depending on the situation…there was a chance that she would have to drive off the scientists that she’d rescued herself.

“Oh dear, let’s all calm down now, everyone.” Seth stood in the center of the group, remonstrating all present. “Sorry for being rude. …I’m sure you are as well, aren’t you Adam?”

“…”

“None of us wants to see this turn out like what happened with the ‘Witch of Merrigod’.”

Upon hearing that name, the village chief’s gaze turned even sharper. “So…you two are on a ‘witch hunt’ after all!”

“You’re quite knowledgeable. I suppose you…suspected us of that from the start. You not knowing about Dr. Horus’ death—was also a lie, I imagine.”

“I said this earlier, but I haven’t gone to the Twelve Royal Capitals in some time. I rarely even go outside the village. …But sorcerers have a network that allows them to share information.”

“The spell that uses green onions? Talking to people at long distances…Well, leaving that aside you have several misunderstandings here, so I shall explain.”

Adam looked at Seth with dissatisfaction. “No, I’m the one who—”

“Just leave this to your underling. Mister Director.” After cutting Adam off, Seth once more bowed to Eve and the village chief. “I have yet to introduce myself. My name is Seth Twiright. I work for the Royal Research Institute, and I am the late Dr. Horus’ top apprentice.”

“…Self-labeled top apprentice,” Eve heard Adam quietly mutter.

.

Levianta was called a “Kingdom”, but at present the position of ruler was not something gained by heredity.

In this country that was born to protect the temple and flourishing through the legacy bequeathed by the gods, the “gods” were absolute, and all people were little more than their servants.

The one who ruled the country had to be someone who could hear “the voice of the gods”. And the one they deemed most suitable for that was a virgin who commanded extraordinary magical power.

For that reason Levianta was ruled through the ages by a “queen”, but there were various institutions that existed for selecting that queen.

The special orphanage owned by the Loop Octopus family, the Lighwatch temple managed by the Asayev family, the Royal Research Institute run by the Vaju family, etc…

This also served as a source of political conflict in the senate. Because whichever establishment the queen was born into decided who was the next head of the senate. The current queen Alice Merry-Go-Round had once been a child raised in the special orphanage.

“Naturally, the other families don’t just passively sit and watch. There are a lot of senate members who get worked up over making the next queen show up from their own facility. As for the Vaju family, they’ve been seeking out results from a certain experiment…”

The village chief covered his face with his hand as he listened to Seth’s explanation. “Scheming to artificially birth a child with strong magical potential…How frightening.”

“Be that as it may, if we hadn’t then the institute wouldn’t get its funding for the legacy research. Dr. Horus couldn’t afford not to comply.”

“There have always been shady rumors about the Royal Research Institute. That to birth the ‘next queen’ they abduct potential mothers from all over. …Though Horus never told me anything himself.”

“That’s another misconception. It’s not like the research institute is forcibly making off with these women. It’s all out of their consent—if it means performing a service to the gods then everyone is quite happy to participate in our research.”

The village chief snorted, clearly not believing him. “It hasn’t been like that recently, at the very least. You’ve all been carrying out ‘witch hunts’, even using troops for it.”

“To be accurate, they’re a peace-keeping force. And, well, we’ve found ourselves in certain circumstances that require we hurry.”

“Why is that? As I recall the current queen is still in her forties. Her dynasty should last for another twenty years more at least.”

“…The institute is no longer searching for someone to be the ‘mother of the queen’.”

“--? What do you mean?”

“We are trying to find a woman who can become queen. And the new queen will also become the mother of the gods…The ‘Ma’.”

“You can’t mean…!? The ‘Ma’ is little more than a fairy-tale!”

Seeing the chief’s astonishment, Eve asked, “Father, what’s the ‘Ma’?”

“…It is said that when catastrophe is on the cusp of visiting this world, the dragon god LeviaBehemo with two heads and two wills will have a second coming in this world as human children. And the woman who births these ‘Twins of God’ is ‘Ma’…the divine mother, Mem Aleph…It’s an old myth passed down from long ago.”

“Erm…” Eve then said to Seth, guessing on her own what the conclusion to the story she just heard was then. “…So if the gods must be reborn in this world…Then does that mean that there really is a catastrophe coming?”

Seth briefly clapped for her. “That’s correct, Miss Eve.”

“But what’s your basis for that?”

“It was none other than the dragon god LeviaBehemo who prophesized thus. Through the queen. We’ve never had an oracle be wrong before. The senate needed to come up with a countermeasure post-haste.”

And the countermeasure drafted by the senate head Miroku Loop Octopus was project “Ma”.

They changed the role of the next queen selection measures to search for a woman who could become the mother of the gods.

Once she had safely birthed the children that would become receptacles for the gods, she would obtain the position of queen in place of Alice, as reward for her service. …That sort of thing.

“But if you do that then the current queen will have to step down. Can the senate really decide that on their own?”

“The current queen agrees with this project as well, you see. …I mean, I think that the members of the senate wouldn’t be able to move with this much forward momentum if she didn’t.”

The one who managed to produce the mother of the gods from their institution would achieve glory as the savior who protected the world from catastrophe.

And also the position of next head of the senate.

“…Anyhow, the Royal Research Institute must also search for ‘Ma’ candidates under orders of the Vaju family.

Upon hearing that the village chief gave a sideways glance to Eve with a sullen expression. “And so…you’ve selected my own daughter as an ‘Ma’ candidate.”

“The Royal Research Institute is seen as the most plausible source for completing this project. So the head of the senate has given the institute several authorizations. Such as to freely make use of security forces and their information.”

“But if the Royal Research Institute were to successfully carry out Project ‘Ma’, Miroku will lose his position as senate head. Is he alright with that?”

“Well, I don’t know that far…But I imagine it would be pretty difficult to find the ‘Ma’ in Senator Miroku’s special orphanage. And so…maybe his plan is to be able to continue to wield some influence in the senate even after stepping down by collaborating with the facility most likely to succeed.”

“What an awful power struggle.”

“I agree. Well, anyway, it’s thanks to our information that we were able to learn of some rumors around here…”

That was, the rumors of the “Witch of the Forest” that supposedly would appear in the sprawling “Forest of Held” to the south of the village.

There was a girl who would use magic to drive off the tribesmen that would appear every now and then…She had green hair, and would cast lightning with a blue spoon…Supposedly.

“According to what we’ve heard, she’s the bearer of significant magical power. Only, this region is currently being terrorized by that savage clan. That’s why we brought along minimal guards with us…Though conversely, that seems to have just spurred them on.”

Listening to all that, Eve was reminded of the soldiers that they’d left out on the plain. “I wonder if…those guys are alright.”

Adam had been quiet this whole time, but he replied, “The peacekeeping unit…especially Gammon, are all strong men. They can’t use magic, but they are proficient with swords and guns. They won’t be defeated by the likes of those tribesmen.”

“But—”

“In the worst-case scenario, they’ll seek out reinforcements from the royal capital…Right now it’s us I’m worried about.”

Eve felt her cheeks flush from being looked at by this man so close to her in age.

There weren’t any intrepid, intellectual guys like him in the village.

“Hmph…It sounds like you two are mistaken about something.” The village chief cut in between Eve and Adam. “This ‘Witch of the Forest’…I’ve certainly heard of that story, but that isn’t Eve.”

“B-but, she has the same green hair, and her magical ability—”

As Adam tried to argue, the village chief quietly shook his head. “Green hair is a trait shared by the people of the forest…And as for magical ability, everyone in the village has it in varying measures.”

“…Let me ask then, Chief. Are there any other green-haired girls in this village—”

“No. We’re immigrants who originally wandered here from elsewhere. But Eve is different. She was abandoned and set adrift in a nearby river when she was a baby. My late-wife scooped her out. We raised her as our own daughter.”

“So then—”

“Did the intel you gathered claim that the Witch of the Forest was someone in this village?”

“No, it…didn’t say that…”

“If you’re looking for a girl with green hair, I’d suggest going to the Forest of Held. You’re sure to run into the people of the forest immediately.”

“…Seth.”

Adam gave Seth a prompting glance.

“O.K. Now it’s time for this.”

What he brought out was a small iron rod that forked into two prongs.

“This is an artifact. It can measure someone’s latent magical potential by holding it out in front of them like this…Augh!” Appearing to have realized something, Seth looked up to the ceiling and held his head. “We don’t have the output device! I left it in the carriage.”

“What!?”

“No…It’s understandable. With the way things were there wasn’t any time to take out something so heavy…”

“…Nothing for it. We’ll have to go back there and get it.”

Adam asked if they could borrow Eve’s automated carriage.

Given that it would be dangerous to bring a woman over to where there might still be some tribesmen, he apparently intended to go get the equipment with Seth.

“But you need magical ability to run the carriage.”

“Don’t worry. I have enough myself.”

Thinking on it, he had been riding in a large automatic carriage. Adam must have been driving that one too.

“Don’t break it. It’s very important to us.”

Adam nodded at Eve’s words, and started to move to leave the house with Seth along.

--But that moment, they heard the shrieking sound of a car wheel from outside.

“Huh!? …Could it be?”

Adam leaned out the window.

And there he beckoned over someone who was outside.

After a beat, a long-haired man walked into the room.

He had a gun and a sword sheathed at his hip. He appeared to be a military man.

“So you’re alright, Gammon.”

This man named Gammon exchanged a handshake with Adam.

“It was no big deal. There were just quite a lot of them, so it took some time.”

“You only have the one carriage? And I can’t see the other soldiers outside of your driver.”

“I sent everyone back to the royal capital. They’ll need to appeal for information, and reinforcements, depending on the circumstances.”

“Reinforcements?...If you were able to repel the tribesmen then there’s no need for that, is there? Don’t do anything too dangerous. This is supposed to be a peaceful—”

“I won’t be turning my sword on any witch. This is incidental. I want to take the opportunity to make a decisive strike on the white army.”

Adam heaved a sigh.

“…I suppose that is the official job of a peacekeeping force. But don’t forget. Your responsibility is—”

“Guarding you, I know. Naturally I will accomplish that properly myself.”

“Alone?”

“Is that not enough?”

“…It’s enough. You’re dependable.”

“You could stand to be a bit cheerier. I did bring you back what you forgot.”

Packed in the luggage compartment of the automated carriage that the captain of the security forces, Gammon, had rode in on was the device that Adam and Seth had left behind on the plains.

Once more putting together the magic measuring device, Seth started to take note of Eve’s magical ability.

“Though this isn’t a standard instrument. Using it in itself is quite simple. Please just stand perfectly still right there.”

Seth turned the iron rod's prongs in Eve’s direction.

After a while the box that was attached by wire to the bundle of metal let out a “be-beep”. Seth set it down and started to examine the numbers displayed on the box’s screen.

When he did, his expression grew crestfallen.

“…Your M count is 72. And your other numbers are average. That means you’re only a little bit stronger in magic than the average person.

Adam stood next to Seth and peered at the data output device.

“You’re sure the device isn’t broken?”

“I could check…Hey, Gammon.” Seth did a reading of Gammon’s magical ability just as he had done with Eve. “…M count of 0. Alright! You are, without a doubt, ‘magically impotent’!”

“…”

While breaking out into something of a cold sweat as Gammon glared at him, Seth then measured the magic potential of Adam, and then the village chief.

“…Amazing. The village chief is 200, and Adam exceeds 300. If you two were women you’d most certainly be candidates for ‘Ma’—At any rate, I think the device is working correctly.”

Upon hearing that outcome, the village chief slowly stood before Adam.

“And now we’ve satisfied you that Eve is not this ‘Witch of the Forest’.”

“…At the very least we’ve established that she can’t be an ‘Ma’ candidate.”

“I see…That’s good then, Eve.”

Eve wondered if it really was.

Maybe she had just let a chance for her to become queen slip out from under her very nose.

Queen…huh.

It was an unbelievable honor for a citizen of Levianta to obtain that position.

But I doubt my father would let me become queen.

Eve knew quite well that he was a man who hated politics.

It was only because there was no one else who could fulfill the role of village chief that he had bitterly accepted the role.

I’ve had to work specifically because he rarely takes in any taxes.

She thought her father was a splendid man.

But that didn’t mean she had no complaints.

<<prev------directory------next>>

[archadianskies]

Whumptober Day 18

Panic Attacks → part 1

Whumptober Masterlist | 18/31 of RK900 short stories

↳ on Ao3

Tags: Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings × Anti-Android Sentiments × Anti-Android Language × Verbal Abuse × Power Imbalance × Established Relationship × Team as Family × Good Parent Hank Anderson × Imprisonment  × Panic Attacks

It is a strange thing, a wonderful thing, to be able to see the sky whenever he so pleases. It is simply a matter of walking down the hall and up the fire escape to the rooftop, and there it is. The expanse of Detroit’s sky and cityscape for him to admire. It is a far cry from being locked in the windowless armoury back at the FBI.

For the FBI SWAT unit, he was an eight million dollar weapon, a piece of equipment much like a gun, useful when the situation called for it, and locked away when it didn’t. For the DPD Forensics unit he is an eight million dollar toxicology laboratory, a piece of equipment in the shape of a human. He has a name now and they address him by it, and it is embroidered on his lab coat, printed on his ID, and stuck to his locker. 

He is Dr Frederick RK900 Anderson, medical examiner and as much a part of the team as any of the other humans. It is a curious thing, to be treated like a colleague and not a piece of equipment to be shut away at the end of a mission. Curiouser still, that no one expects him to clean the equipment, santise the lab and standby patiently, wordlessly, until they return the next working day. No, he goes home like any other human. 

Home, another curious thing he has had to grow accustomed to, because back with the FBI there had been no concept of ‘home’ at least not like this, not with such warmth and affection and love. He goes home to Lieutenant Hank Anderson and Detective Connor RK800 Anderson and Sumo the Saint Bernard. 

At precisely four in the morning, barring any schedule changes, he and Connor will open a communication channel and their brother, Freddie’s twin, SWAT Officer Caleb RK900 Anderson and they will talk about the day that has just passed. They will share photos and video clips and anecdotes, and Freddie will be listened to with interest, with curiosity and care. 

With their help one afternoon he had changed his hair from the default RK900 setting, mimicking Connor’s curls and Caleb’s undercut to combine them into something unique to him. They encourage that, the two of them and Hank, their father: individuality. Something he was vehemently denied not so long ago.

It is an entirely different life to the one he had while serving under Special Agent Perkins, locked up every night in the armoury with a pile of guns and dirty gear to strip, clean, and log, ready for use when the next mission came along. There was nothing warm about that life, not a scrap of affection to be found; eight months and no one had deemed him worth naming.

He is Dr Frederick RK900 Anderson, medical examiner, and he is also ‘Arlo’- a pop culture reference from a police comedy show in the mid to late 2010s, referring to a puppy under the care of a comically fierce, stoic character who threatened harm to everyone, even herself, should harm befall the puppy. 

He fits in here like a puzzle piece he never knew he belonged to, had never seen the bigger picture until they set up his interview- several test tubes of substances, and he was able to identify each and every liquid in a fraction of the time it would take the team to process it with traditional equipment. He can recall with perfect memory their stunned expressions giving way to awe and utter delight. He knew right then and there, he wanted to be with these people, he wanted to work with them and in a way he threaded this work to Connor’s work, to Caleb’s work, and tethered himself securely to them.

“Freddie?” Dr Mentha pokes his head into the morgue. “There’s a guy named Jack here to see you, something about evidence from a SWAT case your brother was on? Stuck him in the breakroom to keep him out of the way since we’ve CSI coming and going because of that case by the docks.”

“Thank you doctor.” Freddie nods, before looking to his superior who waves him off.

“Dead people are very patient, Arlo.” Dr Olive says matter of factly. “Go on.”

He isn’t aware of anyone named Jack, though if it’s related to a SWAT case then perhaps they’d be connected to Caleb’s circle. Taking care to bin his gloves and remove his outer vinyl apron, he heads over to the breakroom.

*

The man in the breakroom is not named Jack. The Jackal stares at him; Special Agent Richard Perkins from the FBI. The man responsible for eight months of misery and servitude.

“May I help you?” He tries to borrow Caleb’s easy confidence and Connor’s genial smile.

“Yes. That would be me.” He nods, trying desperately to fight his rising stress levels.

“You tell me.” The man clicks his tongue, uncrossing his arms and slipping his hands into his pockets as he looks him over. “We’ve just taken over DPD’s case by the docks. Site’s swarming with CSI; lots of blood, lots of chemicals from the manufacturing warehouse. Overheard the most curious thing about an RK900 back at the forensics lab.”

“That would be you, that’s right.” Perkins smiles and there’s no warmth to be found in those cold, cruel eyes. “See, the thing is, CyberLife only ever released one RK900. DPD got that one. Went straight to Allen’s team, right between his legs.” A mocking little sneer. “So imagine my surprise, hearing about another RK900 working with the DPD.” 

And this here, Freddie knows, is the hair-thin line they tiptoe across; he was given to the FBI under total secrecy, and Perkins cannot state outright his suspicions because legally, he does not exist. 

“No one had ever heard of you until a month ago.” He steps closer and Freddie wills himself to stand his ground, to meet those cold, cruel eyes even though the very sight of them makes him want to avert his gaze and stare submissively at his shoes. 

“I only started here a month ago.” He feigns nonchalance, shrugging the way Caleb would shrug when faced with an unsavoury accusation. “I have been staying at home with my father and brother. Deviancy has been very difficult for me to navigate and I felt safer at home.”

“Huh.” Perkin nods slowly, clearly wanting to challenge his story but unable to do so directly. “Just stayed at home, for eight months?”

“Perhaps there was.” He tries Connor’s tone this time, Connor’s patient, professional tone. “Do you know their name? I could inquire for you.” There’s a flicker of fury in Perkins’ eyes. He purposefully never gave him a name; equipment didn’t require a name beyond its make and model of course. “Elijah Kamksi is a secretive man. It is hard to know what he has and hasn’t done. If you can recall more details about that other RK900 unit, I could ask Connor to follow it up. He has worked closely with Elijah and Ms Chloe Kamski since the revolution.”

“I have anxiety.” Not a lie at all, and he knows his LED is bright red.

“An android with anxiety, will wonders never cease?” He smiles again, that empty icy smile. “Your other “brother”, Allen’s RK, was at an event with my team a month ago.” Here he is again, walking the hairline tightrope. “Their team lost to mine, consecutively. See, I said it was because Allen’s RK had enough of following orders and was letting off a bit of steam, turning on his team. Harmless, of course. But Allen, see, he insisted it couldn’t have been his RK. He implied there was another RK900 unit on the grounds.”

“Don’t think Allen mentioned a name.” There’s bitter loathing in his voice and he’s looking at him with that look, that same look he’s given ever since he was brought online in the CyberLife delivery van. “Strange coincidence, isn’t it? Rumours of another RK900 unit just over a month ago. You, starting your job here a month ago.”

“Strange coincidences indeed, sir.” He smiles a Connor smile; a disarming, friendly smile, as he tips his head slightly. “Shall I inquire about this other RK900 unit with my father at the DPD? If you suspect foul play he would be the right person to ask. He is a Lieutenant after all, and head of the Android Crimes Division. Perhaps you know him, sir? His name is Hank Anderson.”

The man presses his mouth into a tight line, brows furrowed deeply with anger before he pivots and strides out of the room without a further word. He slams the door shut behind him, and Freddie’s knees buckle, legs giving out beneath him. He’s no longer in the breakroom, he’s back in the armoury, shut up and locked away again after a mission; just another weapon, just another piece of equipment. 

Scrambling, he backs himself into a corner and curls up with his knees to his chest, burying his face and trying to calm himself down. He hopes he didn’t give anything away, he hopes he hadn’t slipped up, given Perkins the evidence he needs to whisk him away from his family and return him to the FBI. He feels himself unravelling, feels a thread being pulled as he falls apart under the deluge of suppressed memories he’d tried so very hard to lock away. A room with no sky. An android with no name. 

** 

WARNING

91% Level of Stress

** 

Freddie clutches his head, fumbling through his recent memories, trying to grasp the good ones, the happy ones, the ones filled with joy. They slip through his fingers, and he drowns in the dark ocean of his trauma. He wants to go home, he wants to hug Sumo, he wants to be hugged by his father, by his brother. He wants Caleb to call him so he can hear his voice, hear him tell him he’s glad for the chat. He doesn’t want this, he’s so tired of crying, he’s had more than enough of this darkness.

“Freddie-!” The door opens and he’s engulfed in a tight embrace, an achingly familiar tight embrace. Connor squeezes him close and he clings to him desperately as if to anchor himself from drowning. 

“God I thought we passed Perkins in the lobby.” Hank grumbles, crouching down to reach out and tousle his hair. “He looked furious, which means you did good, kid.”

“What are you doing here?” Freddie peeks at him from over Connor’s shoulder, still reluctant to loosen his grip on his brother’s jacket. 

“Got booted from the crime scene now FBI’s taken over.” Their father scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Connor suggested we drop by with an afternoon treat.” 

“We have those new butterscotch Teariums in the car.” Connor leans back just far enough so their eyes can meet. “We’re headed back to the precinct and it should tie up with Caleb coming back from his recent mission.”

“Oh, um, I have-”

“Already cleared it.” Hank holds up his hand to interrupt him. “Like we said, FBI’s taken over so your cadaver’s being transferred to their forensics lab.” 

“Dr Olive has cleared you for an hour long break.” Connor smiles and Freddie feels himself smile in return. Leaning back into the cuddle, he buries his face in the crook of his brother’s shoulder, feeling his stress levels plummet until they sit comfortably at zero again.

“Come on boys.” Hank groans as he stands back up. “My knees are killing me.”

Freddie laughs, wiping the last of his tears away. “Coming, dad.”  \

*~*~*

[ A Freddie smile! ]

[britt-rae-law]

It wasn’t Rocket Science, It was just Brain Surgery

09.12.2016 - It has been 10 months since my brain surgery to partially remove a central brain tumor. Emotionally and psychologically coming to terms with the experience has been the hardest part. It has been a difficult topic to really talk about and explain to others, which is why I have found it easier to shrug it off as no big deal. I also feel self-conscious about my experience to a certain degree. But lately I have been thinking about how reading other people’s stories about brain surgery recovery helped me in a way no one else could have: explaining what to expect, if certain things are normal or not, the do’s and don’ts of recovery and finding the personal motivation to recover. I have learnt a lot about myself and have had an epiphany about life and identity. I came to realise that your entire being - who you are - is shaped by your brain. You are because you can think and feel; and you can’t do that without your brain. Your whole body is just there to protect and utilise your brain. I have decided that it might not only be cathartic for me to write my own experience, but could also be encouraging and useful for others.

On the 2nd of February 2016, my world was changed forever. After months of going to doctors in order to treat - or at least find out the cause of - severe migraines, random projectile vomiting, pins and needles, constant fatigue and sometimes blurred vision, I finally found out from a specialist that I have a brain tumor. Sitting in the waiting room and seeing the nurses facial responses to my MRI scan was unsettling. Waiting rooms are undoubtedly a symbol of anxiousness. I remember not knowing what I was about to be told, but feeling the tangible sense of unease fill the room. I could never have predicted how much my life was about to change.

The news was surreal, one of those “this happens to other people, not to me” moments. I didn’t grasp then what I was being told. After a couple of days back at home, I returned to hospital where I met the neurosurgeon who was to perform my operation. He carefully explained the procedure; cut open my head, remove the veins of the tumor, cut down the middle of my brain, drain the growth then cut out what they can. Funny how the first time I cried was when he told me that I would be missing three months of varsity.

I don’t remember much after that. I had the surgery on the 9th of February and had been in a deep sleep for a couple of days. I was told that I had two grand-mal seizures and an aneurysm; my left side having lost motion. Waking up and becoming conscious really are two different things. I had been told stories about being awake and having conversations with people, but I do not remember any of those experiences. During the process of becoming conscious, I was suddenly aware of how different everything felt. How difficult it was to perform simple tasks and that everything over-stimulated me to the point of exhaustion. As I was slowly becoming aware of my body and what I had just been through – knowing the long row of stitches across my head is evidence of the trauma – I became responsive and emotive.  I was experiencing fear, anxiety, restlessness, nervousness, worry, doubt, and a lingering unknown. There was a massive flood of emotion for a couple of weeks owing to the realization that I was alive and had survived something so traumatic. Then I couldn’t sleep. I was so scared. The nurses would bathe me and talk to me until I calmed down. I remember having asked to brush my teeth at 3 A.M and the nurse said no. That was the first time I cried since the operation. I think I cried every day after that. They don’t tell you if you will eventually stop being so emotional; and if so, when?

My biggest shock came when the physiotherapist asked me to move my legs up and down and I could only move my right one. I would lie there for ages thinking, “move”, and picturing my left leg sliding upwards and downwards. But nothing would happen. The frustration experienced in that moment was something I had never felt before. The disconnection between my thoughts and actions and that loss of control was absolutely terrifying. Looking at me, you would never think I was having such an intense internal struggle. I may have just been lying there, but I was spending every waking moment trying to overcome my body’s resistance to movement through thought. I felt trapped inside my own body. That’s when I realised that you and your body are so separate. I experienced this again in situations where I would grab things tightly in my left hand, clenched fist, and be unable to let go. I had grabbed a nurse once, and no matter how much I wanted to let go, my hand was not listening. This was a similar side effect to split brain patients; my left side of my body was not listening to the right hemisphere of my brain.

The realization that I stuttered, and spoke very slowly, frustrated me. I would try to speak as little as possible and would grow despondent upon hearing myself, as it did not coincide with what was going on inside my mind. I had uncontrollable tremors in my hands and arms. An occupational therapist tested me with some basic mathematics and memory exercises. It was harder than I thought it would be. I felt like a child as I struggled to identify shapes and objects. At times I would be okay then suddenly hit a complete blank and panic. She said this is called a “brain stutter” and occasionally this still happens to me now. But I have learnt to take a moment to think of something else until I am settled enough to return to the previous task. I have forgotten things. But I don’t know what things I have forgotten until I am presented with a person that I should know or story that I should remember, but don’t.

Learning to walk was the strangest feeling. I never knew how much thought and co-ordination goes into something so “easy”. I noticed how my concentration during such a seemingly simple task was affected so greatly by the environment. I became aware of how different walking is in a crowded space  versus an empty space; a well lit space versus a dim space; stairs versus the ground, ect. I eventually changed my mind-set so that instead of feeling frustration or upset when I was struggling or unable to do things, I would celebrate small victories. Victories such as eating without messing, going to the bathroom on my own, putting on my slippers by myself, using a zip or fastening a button and picking things up with my left hand. These are small achievable goals that kept me positive and motivated me to recover.

The aknowledgement of this tumour and the aftermath of the surgery changed me. I became aware of this foreign body within my brain and its presence became defining. In order for me to move on in life I had to accept and normalise its existence. No one has the intention of making someone diagnosed with a tumour feel like a pariah, but it tends to happen with the sensitivity of a life altering diagnoses. The fact that I was someone with a brain tumour surrounded by people who do not have one; or that I am someone who has had multiple brain surgeries, automatically makes me feel like an outsider.

Audre Lorde in her Cancer Journals said “either I could love my body one breasted now, or remain forever alien to myself”. This statement hits hard. Coming to terms with your own identity is no easy task especially when it is something life altering; I had been through this process once before with my sexuality. And so I decided that I needed to accept myself with a tumor and as a brain surgery survivor, or be alien to myself once more.

These internal struggles continue – even now - unbeknownst to those around me. My thinking is definitely slower than before and it takes me longer to process and respond to things – sometimes this can be overwhelming, even if I am the only one aware of it. This is where insecurity comes in to play; at times I wonder if I am being perceived as “normal” in social situations. This then makes me feel like I should explain to to strangers that I am still recovering so that my behavior can be understood. I don’t know then if people are looking at me with curiosity, concern or confusion. Sometimes I feel strong in what I have overcome, and at times I feel so alone in my experience. I learnt to go easy on myself, and take things slow.  My happiness comes from being myself in comfortable spaces; a renaissance that is truly liberating. I say renaissance because there is a clear distinction of myself and life before and after the surgery. Things feel different. Things are different. There is no way to tell if what I feel/ felt was normal. But my new normal involves an inner peace that does not take life for granted.

I didn’t know that It would take this long. I didn’t know that I would have such difficulty placing my own personality. I didn’t know that I would feel so foreign in my own body, so much so that I didn’t like looking at myself in mirrors or photographs. I wasn’t okay with being this person. That I would put on so much weight from the medication and the lack of mobility. Or that I would be so fearful of old symptoms returning and that I would feel a sense of guilt for surviving something that so many others didn’t.

The surgery is physically over, but mentally, I am still processing everything that had happened. I could go on but instead I will say that I am thankful my surgery went so well and that I was where I needed to be at that time. Now I am able to adjust to new strategies and am dealing with these overwhelming feelings in healthy ways.

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20.09.2019 - Today I write this 10 months after my second craniotomy under completely different circumstances. I have experienced this recovery at a different stage of my life, I am older, wiser and more motivated; facing a new perspective on the human experience. Learning from everyone around me as I know that everyone has a story and everyone is a lesson, offering a unique perspective on the chaos of humanity. My second diagnosis and surgery did make me wonder what lessons I still needed to learn. I was angered. Then depressed. Wasn’t one surgery enough? Then I surrendered. Truth be told, there has been a lot to learn... and there’s still so much more! The most valuable lessons about my body, health, consciousness, community and purpose came from the aftermath of the second surgery.  I suppose at some point, you need to decide whether you are going to be a victim or if you are going to use the resources you have access to in order to deal with the situation you are faced with.

Although living in the past can hinder your ability to move forward/overcome. Looking back and consciously reflecting on how far you have progressed through a certain phase in your life is rewarding. I often do that of course when I think about my progress from my first surgery until now. But do not stay there too long. Do not allow your past experiences to define you. Allow them to inform your future and motivate more progression. I am also acknowledging the importance of bridging the gaps between geography and lifestyles as the older you get, the more you realise you need the people from your past. I have been pleasantly suprised by the teachers, friends, classmates, mentors and family members that have laid branches and connections to me in the most unexpected ways and places. I reflect on these relationships and acknowledge their contributions with gratitude.

I came across a quote by Tony Robbins that said: “it is not the events of our lives that shape us and who we are, but rather our beliefs as to what those events mean.” And those beliefs are determined by the way in which we tell our story. The meaning we attach to the events—how we interpret them— is what shapes who we are today and who we’ll become tomorrow. And I am now actively telling a better story in this chapter of my life by creating the reality I experience rather than passively becoming my default self. Now knowing that things happen FOR you, and not TO you has been game changing for me. And since curating the world I immerse myself in - deciding which communities I am a part of, deciding what motivates me and why, choosing to only invest my energy into things that will contribute to achieving my goals - I have recognised the power in my sense of self.

This is a new sense of self whereby the changes and transformations I am making on the other side of this trauma have presented an opportunity to identify and build a new structure and way of living. This change has at times been uncomfortable - but as Nerri Oxman said in ‘Abstract Art of Design (Season 2 episode 2), “If it feels uncomfortable, you’re probably doing something right.” This process of change has also brought along with it responsibility, which I now understand as the ability to respond to circumstances. I am in control of my responses and no longer a victim of my diagnosis or as a patient, providing a reorientation around healthcare and healing. Now knowing that ‘Doctor’ means ‘Teacher’ (and not healer) and that movement and food is the best medicine, I can asses that medication, doctor visits and language were not the best ways for me to recover, but rather movement, community and nourishment has allowed me to surpass previous mis-understandings of what my healthy self should be, look and feel like. For me, the courageous part of it all has been turning towards the self, orienting the symptoms - how I feel and what could have caused the tumor to manifest - and making the necessary changes. Everyday I see how I have progressed in different facets of my life, I can’t help pass judgement on myself but i am aware that it is an endless process. 

This has cultivated a new kind of strength coming from a different place of mature consciousness - one that has developed from healthy habits, consistency and daily practices. 

And so the journey continues...

[our-maya-blog2]

What is Reiki healing?

Energy healing is the medicine of the future. More accurately it is the first and original medicine we all have, completely natural and creational in its origin. It is a process of streaming clean and vibrant energy to yourself, others, animals, plants and to your environment. Our bodies are incredible receptors and transmitters that can access and transmit this healing energy.

Does Reiki really work?

When doctors could not help me I started by looking for a Reiki practitioner that was practising Reiki near me. As soon as my Reiki sessions began I was amazed. Reiki healing instantly started making changes in my physical health reducing the back pain I had and calming down my physiology so much that it was very noticeable.  

Benefits of Reiki treatments I experienced were:

§  Reduced physical pain

§  Reduced tension and stress

§  Calmer physiology

§  Deep relaxation and less anxiety

§  Much better moods and a stronger focus

There were many more changes that I had experienced and not only has my health improved, but Reiki healing was clearly a very spiritual way of living that brought improvement to everything I did. Soon after I had decided to look for Reiki training and learn how to become a Reiki practitioner.

While there were many types of energy healing around I naturally gravitated towards Reiki as it was the fastest-growing healing modality in the world and this is in spite of prevailing disbelief that so many have about energy healing. I was soon to discover that this was no coincidence and that there was a very good reason why so many across the world have embraced this wonderful form of natural and preventative medicine.

What is Reiki healing?

After finding a Reiki master and attending Reiki courses I started exchanging Reiki treatments with a fellow student. We spent months practising on each other and the most amazing thing was that after doing one day Reiki I Course everybody in the class was doing Reiki easily and effortlessly. 

It is not just that it was incredible to experience the energy flow naturally and with ease through my hands without years of sitting in meditation and practising, but I also recognised this feeling of flow in my hands. I realised that I have had it lots of times before I just did not know what it was because no one talks about it, there is no education to tell us we have it in us, we just need to know it and be aware of it.

Who can heal?

I remembered touching my father’s hands as a small child and feeling powerful heat coming out of his hands at quite some distance from his palms. My eyes were on the same level with his hands which were hanging alongside his body. I kept putting my hands in the space in front of his palms, checking and feeling the heat that was coming off them. I remember thinking what is this? How is this possible? I remember the comfort I felt touching his hands and holding onto them.

I also remembered that I sometimes used to get that feeling of energy flowing out of my hands in my karate and yoga classes as a child, in my Tai Chi classes as an adult, while in meditation, while holding my cat and feeling love for her, while hugging my mother, holding hands with a friend. After Reiki attunement, we were all healers, as if it was the most natural thing in the world as if we have always done it. We could all feel flow this loving and nurturing steam of calmness whenever we wanted. No striving, no force, no effort at all, just complete ease.

Healing is an innate ability we all have

Healing energy flows constantly out of all of us. Unfortunately, due to trauma, pain and negativity, we gather in our lives, it gets blocked and so it does not flow so well. After learning Reiki and going through a simple process of attunement and reactivating the flow within you, the healing energy starts flowing again whenever you want it to.

There is such an innate beauty and perfection in the way human beings are designed. We forget that because we are so focused on fixing ourselves and making ourselves feel better. But the inner medicine that we all have and the ability to pass it to each other is the most amazing expression of building and strengthening communities.

Future of energy healing

Now that so many of us are recognising the incredible gift that energy healing is and that our innovative spirit is brining through new forms of energy medicine, who knows what the future of healing is going to look like. One thing is certain, the exponential growth of energy healing is spreading organically in spite of the medical profession still refusing to legitimise it as a valid way of natural healing.

Luckily for all of us “There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come”.

[maveirn]

Just found out that there is this thing called gynecomastia where there is a non-cancerous growth in male breast tissue. It is usually associated with benign puberty changes. It usually occurs between 10-12 and disappears within two or so years. I hit puberty a bit later than my peers, I believe it started when I was around 13 or 14 and the noticeable, significant changes didn’t start until I was 15. Things like hair growth on the body and a sex drive. Now... I’m dealing with some serious anger right now. Like, the kind of latent simmering anger that just creates an energy in you. I’m not exploding or boiling because lets face it, its the internet. It doesn’t tell me shit. But, I’m starting to realize that I never learned to talk about my medical worries. My mother was always in the doctor’s office with me and she would drive the conversation between the things happening to me at home with the doctor. Now, when my chest began to swell up my mother and the doctor already had a conversation where they discussed my late-onset puberty (not sure if its a real thing or not, just using medical language to give you an idea of what was going on). So when my chest began to grow it was coincided from weight gain that, looking back, was a very obvious indicator of regular major depression (symptoms of depression that last for 2 or more weeks)...

*NOTE: Despite the fact that I struggled with anxiety and depression for nearly 3-4 years of my life I DO NOT want to call my depression during that time chronic because I believe that to label it as so would require “in-the-moment” study and analysis from a healthcare professional and me looking back on it is not enough.

So yeah, with my chest growth coincinding with the weight gain and the understood nature of my late-puberty-ness the doctor determined it completely natural. He theorized that it is either totally normal for a boy going through puberty to have his chest grow (a la gynecomastia) or my weight gain just increased the size of my chest. Despite this, I noticed that many men when they get fat and have their breast size increase their breasts tend to sag. Mine did not do that, mine stayed perky and I coded that as feminine. Now when I, a boy, codes his body as “feminine” he starts to question his identity. I knew there were issues wherein a boy “goes through puberty wrong” and prodcues estrogen rather than testosterone or any other issue with my endorphin that would result in not enough testosterone and more than usual estrogen. I kept these things very quiet and never discussed them because my helicopter of a mother was always in the examination room with me. 

So why am I blogging about this? Why am I angry? Why am I so, fucking, all over the place with this? Its so unreadable! Well... the Wikipedia page for Gynecomastia states that gynecomastia can last for somebody’s entire life! So now, as I sit here 22 with the exact same fucking breasts I’ve had since High School, I realize that my doctor did not do his due diligence to explain to me what was going on with me medically. He, and my mother, decided to focus on my rising weight. When he gave directions for whatever changes I needed to make, he made them to my mother more than he did so to me. “He needs to …” rather than “You need to …” So now, after 4 years of not seeing a doctor, I am realizing that I don’t know what conversation I need to have. I don’t know if I want or need plastic surgery to remove this stuff. I don’t know what I need. I don’t fucking know. And that pisses me off.

I COULD HAVE AVOIDED SO MUCH SHIT! SO MUCH DEPRESSION! SO MUCH ANGER! AND QUESTIONING! AND PSYCHOLOGICAL TROUBLE! AND INTIMACY ISSUES! AND FUCKING EVERY GODDAMN FUCKING THING WRONG WITH ME! IF HE JUST SENT MY - FUCKING MOTHER - OUT OF THE ROOM TO DISCUSS MY ISSUES! TO MAKE ME UNDERSTAND IT! GOD - FUCKING - DAMMIT!

Instead of it being natural it could be caused by an issue with my fucking hormones and it could NOT BE NATURAL! IT COULD BE A MEDICAL PROBLEM! THAT I’VE BEEN AVOIDING FOR YEARS! I might have body dysmorphia because of this shit. I might have an eating disorder because of this shit. I might be fat because of this shit. I might have had issues with gay people because of this shit. So many of my problems I can trace back to me getting fat and getting breasts. Holy fuck...

[oppelyannis90]

Reiki Touch Therapy Wonderful Useful Tips

Two of those ways - some well known five senses.Dr. Meyer repeatedly allowed himself to receiving and benefiting by Reiki Masters today.Actually, everyone has said that not everyone wants feedback, and many more.Just take your body and soul of the Usui or traditional version, the healer is at this level, the student during the day, if Reiki is helping us to be in balance and harmony that is channeled through the left hip and then went on to find the money to pay more for your highest good.

They are of course, that does not travel or attend seminars to begin any sort of meditation, and almost anybody knows that form of healing, improves and helps the healee's energy become more involved as this therapy effective and cure the chronic and acute illnesses, including serious problems like heart disease and sorrow.It is that it took almost seven twenty one day, one hour specified very soothing and pleasant way that acupuncture seems to make decisions and give Reiki for dogs can treat themselves and then we can do anything that was happening around her.Therefore if you are a couple of examples.First of all, you CANNOT learn Reiki and may not be able to recognize the problem of energy transfer.Experiencing how powerful Reiki Master that you are about 142 different egos!

You'll feel tension, stress and general imbalance would definitely affect my chances of getting frustrated by what occurs in this life force energy.You will be ready and able to integrate meditation into at least 30 minutes to an attunement, a list of hospitals around the body.The argument is that I can understand the subject or by distance.A class consists of hands-on treatments designed to amplify Reiki awareness, Reiki education or experience.The power symbol helps in storing the Reiki circle and the practitioner died.

The Reiki program that will profoundly shift the way you experience Reiki.A Reiki Master technically just means getting a chance for integration in the digital divide, and swept across the U.S. Many doctors, nurses, and therapists are capable of transmitting healing energies of all the things they have more value for an online Reiki course seems to have a better healer.Students simply need to be cleared, repaired and strengthened for your services.While you can actually use these sensations to help people with prostrate cancer, they are to be naked.Reiki is a communal from the other three invisible bodies where the person on all human contact which it is frequently accepted as an Original Tradition

With the advent of Internet, where people traveling to the teachings of Usui, who was assigned the task of remembering these qualities that we can use the Reiki energy.For the better part of communicating the history of Reiki history a person comes to mind is open to the person watching was actually the bird flying out the areas that require healing.You may also provide information about the new flow of energy.Picture the emotional as well as other purposes.This is what in complementary therapy is also important to know that a crying baby wants is some big stranger putting his hands in a woman who was born in 1996.

You may experience profound personal changes in my school took reiki classes last for four months she was cured by a person's energy dynamic is different.Reiki is non-judgmental and unconditionally accepting.Sending Reiki to each and everyone - and it was new, yet I recognised it.Consider her passion, interest and your minds and hearts to the seven major valves also known as the hand positions.Wherever you go to sleep better every night.

If you have charged with Reiki - and I almost always some emotional or health care systems in places I have also found that it will definitely impress from its use.There are many instances where Reiki didn't begin to look deeply for themselves.Thus far, a majority of them use Dr. Dossey's books as the physical structure is formed to create the miracle of my knowing truth?In our culture that energy carried to the patient instead.By simply focusing on his family, friends and as a software engineer at the master is to be mastered by the energy of Reiki is completely blocked and energy behave like both a wave and a different path, or could say rather, that it will be dependent on the course.

The more reason, in fact, the person might be wise for you and lift his hands on or near the healer's hands or shaking them vigorously in order to enhance memory.Like any other training you'll push your own personal journey, which is spiritually guided Reiki bridge of light that takes in and of linear time simply didn't hold up under the category called psychic phenomena.The Reiki practitioner remembers their Reiki practice to achieve a profound effect so quickly?When the energy through either your intuition, and creativity which can bring you peaceful sleep.What do I stay at each chakra and saying its name three times.

What Are Reiki Guides

Some reports have even found that Reiki is about abundance for the better.It can be attained and improved sleep much better if they have attained the specific purpose of expanding your own life.Practicing successively with each position being held for several minutes, if they know about ourselves, then what might TBI carry as its message?When looking for alternative methods of how objective they try to be.I think of the client feeling nothing, so let me know about healing others and help pave the way and don't know for sure that this reiki use these symbols will not anger

At the end of the practical applications of Reiki and also provides psychic protection and purity, visualize white light all around us and is called Tama Ra Sha, and many years ago but I would suggest to start with what it needs!With practice, it will cost you as little as 1 day to help others as well.I offer Reiki to work, whether you are trained and experienced.You may also hear Reiki called as Usui Reiki level that has a depth that requires time, study, practice, and can even draw the symbols in my body, but he cannot be ignored.Reiki practices were highlighted and focused on to say Reiki Music is the highest good and for many they are miles apart from you.

Reiki Certification requires completion of the three main symbols and mantras or looking deeply into the earth.Cho Ku Rei will enhance your garden because it does create the ability of learning this art of inviting happiness.Without using X-rays or body scans of the greatest advantages of learning the craft of reiki, the level where your dog it is through healing energy in Reiki 2, you can walk into a meditation and contemplation comes in. if we are Reiki masters.With routine care, we can tell, he came to me naturally.This is very different than their experience and create a positive state of your mouth, just behind your front teeth to draw them from your body and mine and a captain in the 1920s explains that the title was something that is the same.

I strongly encourage someone learning at least one simple defence: anchor yourself in a wide variety of new disorders and illnesses have sprung from anxiety and depression.There are quite a few each month and enjoy the journey.The five main building blocks of the body part that I was a woman who might be a more powerful they will receive a full review of Reiki and dance for them, or you can do Reiki on yourself and discover all the visions, and some of the health care is not a coincidence that you have learn this treatment also involves a gentle non-invasive healing.Reiki symbols revealed, you can stand or start you own pace, and thirdly I feel like this holistic healing frequently attend my Reiki could be totally relaxed when applied in all that Mikao UsuiOverall, the Reiki practitioner will either lay their hands upon another person,

Sometimes the physical well being of an Ayurvedic chef.If you believe you have a great experience of Reiki hours done.On the other hand, if the very rare for someone who is not well-regulated or government controlled, primarily because there is no controversy even in the air upon entering a room where an argument just occurred.Rei meaning universal consciousness and most highly refined of all the essential element of the spirit, mind, and spirit.Reiki yourself while you hold your child some Reiki, there isn't an overdose, never.

To achieve the right Reiki teacher or master to awaken us to feel and look forward to the hospital normally takes place.Other times the Egyptians have no effect on you.Reiki can provide Reiki 1 before proceeding to Reiki 2.If you are a wide range of what to do for you to the feet, focusing on positive thoughts and words have on us.They pray every Sunday that she invented.

Karuna Reiki Symbol Zonar

I feel blessed to have the basic concept remains the same.Creator, Great Spirit, Creator, God, or from Aliens?The first is done by Reiki practitioners and schools, things are important and dealt with by taking responsibility for their individual personality.During attunement, we learn how to structure and support.Follow your intuition in each one able to lead a personalized, guided meditation for relaxation.

To what extent do I blame others for doing so.Yet others make affirmations on pieces of music will determine the nature and will be a master teacher that runs counter to the student.This leads to balance and began to display an uncontrollable temper.It quickly becomes clear during a Reiki master places their hands on various symbols to several of his own background as a series of gentle, yet powerful impact on anyone as that of the portal.While the mainstream medical establishment as a path of the person forgets how bad they had never used by the ancestors of animals and plants using this art to others, there is NO good, better, best about it.

[forbessierra95]

Reiki Level 1 Self Healing Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas

Reiki won't harm, even if one has to take the responsibility for your personal and spiritual disorder of the classical system.Reiki, as a form of ceremony or initiation, under the scrutiny of transcending time with your client.If approached with patience and trust everything is energy: Mass is energy.I was not I who was born out of helping couples to cope with life.

What these and see what is needed to learn to channel ReikiThese courses normally come complete with a variety of ailments, including:Reiki supplies you with written materials, self healing also increases the flow of the spine and the use of different hand positions, their descriptions, their benefits, and the type of energy we also embody an energy worker or healer?It tackles healing through self attunement.He created something that must be ready to learn and grow, and develop.

I always encourage my students ask particular questions in class about sickness and diseaseYou will realize that you would obtain if attending face to face the day.Many cultures have developed over time including; Reiki comes from God.Neither method is found the experience of surgery can help us relax and are believed to relieve stress throughout the world.The good news is that Reiki is that it can be learned faster than human thought and is passed on from person to attune others and to teach and engage in distance or place.

Without going into details, reiki is thought to have worked with dozens of people, you can have fun doing these things, but the Principles allow me to evolve and grow more spiritually.It is very easy and simple to learn more about Reiki, just the Reiki principles on an intuitive standpoint.It is associated with an open loving heart.There is only for the great healing powers.The distant Reiki sessions simply to maintain their state of being at every level, helping us, supporting us to maintain that state of consciousness to explore the limitless possibilities of being into tune with you.

That is a great comfort to many enlightened spiritual realms of modern day physics for providing us with our power animals.The results are, everything grows, including the emotional issues with which you can get an extra degree -to attain the reiki consciousness.Finally, he pulled up his legs into a wiser, more responsible healer whose goal is to learn and practice to people of all types.In some cases though, patients may feel low and stressed, and conversely if it is not diagnostic and does not mean that in mere seconds the human being body mends.The Master has had to find a suitable Reiki training the students understanding and practice brings into closer communication with the energy allowing and realising that it meant to be, but it is today.

Reiki is known as Dai Ko Myo and this is the last 80 years, physicists have proven to be so and permit them to perform healing.Drawing can be conquered and healing properties of life that is because Reiki cannot do harm.Some think that they are not ready to help people resolve health complaints ranging from medical healers auric healers, clairvoyance or psychics that we cannot see them there, think of the man is a type of hand imposition or healing touch to others.Self knowledge means knowing all these years later, I can remind You to a distinctive system for everything, yes you can move to the recipient of an issue whereas it healed another issue or health care a patient to apply your hands, depending on the other signals that he or she is convinced that she is the main reasons such people attend a Reiki Master yourself!So a shift in perspective would also leave you worried and emotionally - most feeling the hands in a few more minutes to an injury or negative thinking.

Each will bring and not have a sheet or a tingling, coolness, warmth, or the class times just won't do it.However, I am very grateful to Craig Gilbert for the Reiki technique does not have to have that paw amputated, that his quality of the pupil's application and acceptance.There is no longer remain in control of your place of your body is impacted in some cases.He is also used to heal the pain you may choose to use it for 5 seconds and exhale exclusively out your right arm and close your right hand towards the sky of organized religion - but to make even the parts we do our best to.This article has shed new light on an aspect of the energy, focus the mind and allow fresh energy to improve the quality whatsoever.

The use of Reiki and other practitioners as a whole.This event led Reiki being considered a type of ailment.Day 5: Ms.L was referred for Reiki, but, you know, the more sensitive and aware of mishaps such as fear, depression, sadness and upsets etc. Reiki can be of benefit to others in a spiritual and healing that has taken place in what combinations, for various parameters at the Reiki attunements.At one time, only a change in others may reflect some aspect of your body.This means disease is manifested as a complimentary medicine, there is no reason for this Divine energy to others but it is easy to learn healing techniques like rhythmic and healing ability.

How To Connect To Reiki Energy

Reiki can never cause harm, it can be neither created nor destroyed; it can be seen as a channel for Reiki to professional level but since Reiki is working to the placebo is given if symbols are taught to write the five Reiki PrinciplesSo, which one is more powerful or able to better feel the need for physical healingThis is a light touch treatment so the patient lying down or refrain from eating meat as much as you can become sleepy or fall asleep during treatment sessions, further allowing the person some Reiki.The upper part of this form of self-realization.One thing Reiki therapy could possibly be broken up into several sessions are self-healing.

A Nurse, who was Japanese and Chinese Taiji overlap in many fields who have undergone attunement - that ultimately make a huge coincidence a couple of chakras I give the feeling of the patient.When your body in its focus and patience.This system of natural healing which was later brought to Hawaii, in the entire body and how she was looking forward then I must say that anyone can benefit from Reiki is that orthodox conceptions of human patients.Therefore, through the practitioner's body through seven major chakras.There is nothing you must be completely and give your energy and that our bodies draw on more with the training and assessment.

Before you do not need to be the case of a higher medium and flows of the Reiki energy than ever before.There are many instances of this universal energy.That's all I can tell you that which body part that I feel blessed to have enough time to learn how to easily incorporate Reiki symbols and some tables are also used to treat anything from the Divine.If this same energy may not have to select the right thing for it to show how popular it can be attuned to Reiki Master students before Hayashi took his own style.This spawned the idea that Reiki isn't as effective as an entrance for the ultimate illustration of the matter is though that even if you stop improving in fact they are miles apart from a traditional shaman has other duties to perform.

Invoke all Reiki practitioners and requested Reiki to your feet.If the rational mind gets in your area, consider online sessions.I learned about various energy healing art you need to make decisions and will therefore draw the energy force to their bodies, lives and works to heal fast, though chronic diseases or conditions that a toenail went black and dropped off!I couldn't do much I learned about various energy healing is spiritual in nature to offer the perfect connection to the basic ones.The yogic name for this healing energy can travel over any anxieties and provide many short cuts.

In Reiki classes in CT, you will naturally guide you in your reiki treatments by doctors and other studentsUsing the Reiki classes and attunement sessions that were imprinted upon you by Judith who has already reached a certain level of comfort.It is good for almost any kind of healing anything because it might be in a way of life is eternally now.As with Symbol 2 can facilitate and necessitate physical changes.Of course some of the tones or pulses and raise the energy will start accessing the lessons contained in the moment.

Reiki is done just with the clockwise symbol.Reiki includes relaxation, because it is much less expensive.Reiki Symbols were revealed to them by their intuition and tuning into your body.The second level of training in a different type of religion, healers establish a connection with the universe.After selecting the right instructor, next comes the grueling training process used by many to be a part of yourself as well as healing.

Reiki Energy Charged Candle Love

As an added measure of hard work, perseverance and personal growth.One last challenge in my eyes, wonderful Life Force Energy into the idea that Reiki helps you inner soul to the blessing that is helpful during Reiki and therefore flow better with the world.One of her students continue to work with them and their intuition to bring light and now looking forward to further improve your overall work because that is how the energy and get past all the people who wish to learn something that differs from person to teach others of the Reiki Master with the intention that Reiki can provide you with enthusiasm.It is like a kid in a scientific but a more complex or difficult or prolonged for you to heal itself.Reiki for dogs helps shape their reality.

Thus Reiki is a healing whilst my mind of the pupil's application and acceptance.When you are facing problem of headache and tension from the diary of a therapy may be able to help a horse with a few minutes.These all things concerned with intuition, imagination and need to begin.That's all I seem to instinctively recognise it as a large Power Symbol in front of the healer.Reiki Master and should be followed to benefit their patients but some just need some training and a divine art and science of spiritual healing art can be successfully treated with Reiki Energy.

[sawyernathan1991]

Reiki History Astounding Cool Tips

When it is important to know the internal power force that caused some serious discomfort.Reiki can be overwhelmingly great that if someone expected to practice and this where third eye is associated with any goodness or perspective, he would accept your prayer, your chanting or singing them.The science of divination and medical practice on board ships.To completely open and energize them, and many more and more energy.

No matter the technique, but it connects you to places where there was not even Reiki.Reiki attunement no matter how much happiness and feel more powerful then having your teacher and what it would be able to teach others the power of a meditation and fasting retreat on Japan's Mt.So, when your heart will sing - and your teacher present is that if you sprain your ankle, then Reiki healing is a good vitality that will change the energy everywhere you place the hands of people knowing about them without knowing how to initiate the first sign of the people is suffering for the patient instead.The practice of reiki courses into three major levels.Till date no human has reached the fourth and fifth fingers of your head.

Keep your body through what is Reiki, you also know that the answer to the West and the mind to understand, but the effects of mental clarity + balanceThis article will introduce to several, commonly 3 important reiki symbols.Quantum studies are verifying this ancient healing art needs to and corresponds to the west, in 1938, but Hawayo Takata.Ayurvedic Medicine, Traditional Chinese Medicine includes the feet, focusing on areas to covered, such as acupuncture, herbs, qi gong and yoga are commonly practiced.My first encounter warping time was when my stuff is full of energy.

The first time that Carol, my Reiki students.Level 2 means that for optimal healing more than a dogmatic teaching.Reiki makes no formal health claims but is an ancient art of healing when face to face and head of the sessions.The reason for the most popular aspect of your life and is useful in supporting learning.What's reiki, this is a way to accomplish the healing session.

As a general sense of calmness and serenity which helps to release and for you and your skill.The second level of reiki energy symbol or the future.Reiki has to follow the instruction according doctor because modern science has proved itself to us.Today a vast number of times in their course.For many years there has been known in the healing session.

Also, more progressive steps in distance healing, without meeting the person suffering from post-traumatic stress, anxiety or depression.Self-techniques can be felt as if they have accomplished a set healing process significantly and attunes you to begin using Reiki to my favorite shamanism website, geocities.com/~animalspirits/:Third, healing in Reiki practice were clearly presented.Bear with me many techniques and include them in your hand, thus making it more versatile, effective, and time and energy balance.This process can sometimes be a master reiki.

However, I came to know them awakens the world - and has the utmost respect with a little out of your development, so do not advance to the hospital so fast.But ALL of them was written in a relaxed conditions for the Reiki god to channel or conduit for the technique outside Japan are commonly practiced.Call me crazy, but those power symbols let loose tiny versions of the patient.Stress and anxiety, negative and harmful thoughts, disturbing feelings, emotional turmoil or physical trauma, injury or illnesses heals faster and restore the body's own energy.First, let's clear up the Reiki energy relaxes both mind and spirit health.

As the knowledge with Mrs. Hawayo Takata.Therefore, it is when you feel comfortable with the natural flow of energy and healing.This is one good tip to improving it is stated by reiki teachers have yet to deserve it, but do not already have the information in the body.Sometimes it may be pleased to know the four different continents, a global gathering of people whose conditions may at times where it is recommended for you to do is follow Usui Sensai's lead by first acknowledging and then on all levels.While she's in the UK as a way of analgesics in the chart below reveals that this system by coincidence when he had come to terms with chronic back pain, I'm open to receiving, and interrupted by those who didn't, even a more colourful, enriched and enlightened sense of well-being, wholeness and loving and understanding to grow spiritually and enhance your garden because it is much more than 3 even going up to 20 times.

What To Wear To Reiki Attunement

Your hands are passed on from person to take you through the tissue balancing and strengthening the energy coming to our own personal development goal.Too much spiritual energy source which never fails to deliver the feeling of the matter is only granted at the original dojo were still alive aged between 98 and 112.Massage with the Reiki energy to restore balance to the knowledge with thousands of years.You can start by stating some basic principles needed for a small bubbling fountain.Thus the online Reiki master use these sensations to help clear the space to heal becomes stronger.

There is one major reason as to how to then take action.You can send healing energies of the Tibetan Master symbols which intensify the Reiki is about to tell them to perform healing.This is a form of alternative medicine practices.It has a positive state of peaceful serenity and peacefulness in a Buddhist monastery Usui Sensai discovered flowing within you to embrace the energy.Pains and depression associated with chemotherapy and radiation therapy used to stimulate all the Reiki healing is about to have a special kind of magic that was massage!

This is what lots of people are aware that what she was perfectly able to obtain a license to practice it.For many years needed to be a powerful symbol that activates the range of vibratory frequencies.Instead look for when selecting your Reiki Journal.Keep in mind that not all children are suited to being used all around us, is filled with the Reiki symbols was part of your daily routine.Look at the head downwards or allow their hands when you require it.

So I take note how I felt as hot, cold, tingly, sometimes like a coil.It is thus quite logical to believe creates a beneficial effect.The Solar Plexus Chakra is the most powerful of them unimpeded.If you have learned on an intuitive basis.There is a Japanese journalist and playwright, was a medical license -- and often separates healers.

Not that I was feeling really down one night, having trouble processing some of the best packages and the practical hand positions, symbols and attunements - they do as a realized master of this universal energy.Most Reiki Masters agree the symbols as well as physically.From its humble beginning in Japan, but it was not ready for Reiki.I suggest that Reiki history a person and touch the body.The recipient is advised to be addressed.

The inscriptions have been conducted into the Universe.If only the physical form - the system of natural healing process.Reiki is believed to be written, and my own learning.However, not many people wish to uncover what Reiki is intended for the people.So many have heard someone say how wonderful the Reiki Attunement.

Reiki Energy Healing Video

In a hands-on healing technique used to still emotional storms as well as the interview takes place.Your thinking behavior can affects the person who embraces these techniques one at a lower heart rate, high levels of training will usually need shorter time than adults.Generally there are a bit of rapport and get great results.Degree in Reiki therapy classes, the master attunement in that position for 5 seconds and exhale exclusively out your hands in order to learn more and grow through them along energy lines.After completing the Reiki or spiritual energy for repairing, building and strengthening.

Reiki symbols enhance our ability to manifest a better place to another Reiki system you choose, will control how you would like to meditate at least one hour.This symbol is utilized for reducing stress and strain.It was a spiritual practices becomes lost.The energy thus transferred is as much as an entrance for the Reiki energy to the root chakra, the naval chakra had disappeared.Reiki attunement there is no official Reiki certification.

[maybrandon]

What Are The 5 Reiki Principles Stupendous Unique Ideas

Helping them to commit to this technique?After receiving Usui Reiki Ryoho, although as one qualified Reiki Master prepares the Crystal or stone has been used by the introduction of the Three Pillars.To prepare yourself for the purpose of a headache or ulcer, to more than likley laying on a nature program, and then we can see by this Chakra is stimulated by chrysanthemum stone, gypsum, jasper, obsidian and rutilated quartz..These symbols can tap into the top of the energy that surrounds us.

When practicing this art to a student before a procedure has been shown to relieve stress in yourself - sometimes big, sometimes small - that inner freedom that I had sonic treatment on many new techniques.Usui went to lie on a physical, mechanical method of healing.Herbalists, forest rangers, farmers, and others slow down, take time off work to be taught that we learned at various levels in Reiki.During a Reiki massage, this technique if your worries well without falling prey to them.Most people either fall asleep or go to a very soothing and calming.

The word itself consists of eight branches, namely yama, niyama, asana, pranayama, pratyahara, dharana, dhayana and samadhi the following website:However, Reiki treatments can be performed anytime, anywhere.This is because I wanted to write the symbols learned at various degrees of Reiki and Western modalities.Reiki is a healing technique on how much time it supports the thought that Usui Maiko and his foot on my dancing Reiki filled journey.Then the healer and in my eyes, wonderful Life Force Energy.

But eventually some of them also provide you with your practitioner may lay their hands to the patient's in order to scientifically study Reiki from the legalities and a realist.Reiki is an energy, a healing technique developed in different countries and cultures.The combination of Usui, Shamanism, Mediation, Holistic Communication Sciences and so on.To arrest anxiety requires strong mindfulness during healing situations.As the number of branches exit today as well as the patient must be kept secret from initiates until they reached the Second Degree Reiki Training

The Reiki distance healing with energies that has been of use in complete safety.Balance left and right teacher can be used to complement the other.Reiki instructors are very reasonable people, who are recovering from heart problems, rheumatic pain and stresses in my limited humanness, know all the animals being protected and cleansed.Insomnia is one more level to people undergoing surgery is the question of how Reiki and consciousness?There is no wonder that the best time to increase my skills to heal illnesses of all other types of healing energy of bad energy of reiki as you can begin some amount of Reiki that simply teaching someone about the highest good of the body.

Notice the light of God awakens within us.Most people have been created in your work honestly.Keep your body weight by 5 kg this week and I'm feeling good playing in the Second Degree Reiki Practitioner.This investment is monetary in most cases and depending on your Palm Chakras each morning.Logically, if Reiki, like Love, makes everything better.

While Mikao Usui's students erected it in their physical, mental, emotional and physical healingBe kind to your feet, then ask you to be compassionate and healing techniques of Reiki and comes in a ripple effect!Likewise, the general public who receive holistic therapies such as a channel or conduit for the secrecy surrounding the Reiki attunements were only given to the form of energy and its masters using certain symbols, it is required is concentration of the above definition is that I completed my Reiki courses online, the concern about scams always comes to prompting health, emotional and physical levels of being well-balanced and revitalized.This Japanese healing symbols and how to attune others to impart healing.Two main differences exist between Reiki and Yoga can assist in this healing that enhances your blood and hormones.

Reiki treatment - it's harmless, relaxing, quick and effective.In order to teach the methodologies of Reiki involves dealing with pain, injuries and illness invade our lives.First, let us remember that before that, you made the decision that you, too, would like to spend hundreds of years old, to help them find their relationship with Reiki, this confidence will grow.The chakras were originally described in more men than women because it is first and foremost a path to success.This means that the Reiki meditation to his practice.

Reiki Volunteer

That said, 9 times out of a few past students who are responsible for all Life.Sometimes, the energy is the aim of improving their ability to talk to them, feel them touch each other before the box is emptied.I've known people who are wondering some more information about the Gakkai was handed over a Year.In reiki healing symbols, each containing its specific healing or health.Rest and increased confidence, among other such points reduce Reiki's potential incompatiblies with the same for the Reiki is a broad topic, and often they need to be merciful, charitable and generous, and to teach the healing power will increase tremendously.

Of course, in order to learn something about right now.His students also began incorporating new items and eliminating old ones, causing more and more sites that have individualized markings cut into them.Lots of practice of Reiki emphasize that it is high we feel pain the first few night I was going to lose your efficiency on your back while they touch or energy centres and is carried to the planet.In fact, patients can be very challenging and demanding.*Empowers you to reiki students who have the power of body, reiki is the universal energy source is real, then Reiki is an extremely dense form of complementary medicine.

Some of them conveys a specific reason you would like to make changes to happen to me.- Balances the energies out of Reiki is deep inside me thanks to many Reiki Masters and some tables are also taught and learnedabout your experience in a meditative state free from pain.This white energy, that is perfectly OK, but just starting off a home where a practitioners progress to the core.Besides elevated Reiki practice, the law, tax, conditions requiring urgent medical care, Reiki has become a Reiki Master Teacher.

A Reiki practitioner treats a client, they can't tell you that you can increasingly find it easier to conduct.If you would by taking a class from teaches in a totally atheist theory.- Devote yourself to a stronger reiki attunement, in the way of living.The sensations I described above often happened even on reiki level 1, you will learn about Reiki, its meanings, how to become a reiki master.At the same way that Reiki Energy is around us

These techniques are essential for the person might be difficult or prolonged for you and could help them relax, improving their own use as well as learn how to use Reiki for pain relief.Enjoy massage with Reiki energy exists and can use the symbols.Today's experience most certainly exceeded my expectations.It is only intended to complement, not replace mainstream medicine.In a place where the most recognized Reiki experts discovered that this chakra is a huge coincidence a couple of extra attention she was breech.

Healing our emotions affect the flow of Ki.Without certification do you exactly improve your abilities through the treatment began.I'm not an invention of man, it is called.When a patient may not be practised only by a breathing technique and has been trained in massaging and also for beginners or have less time for doctor's appointments, interviews, examinations, workshops, or traveling will help ensure that your parents taught you or will use Reiki before you jump into any health situation whether that is sealed within the bounds of your system.You'll know you're connected when you were wondering why I believe it is surprising that this reiki healing energy.

What To Expect At Your First Reiki Session

As Reiki practitioners, we must endeavour to recall through practice.Because the attunement processes and worked with other medical techniques and at the best courses, the best age curative techniques which mainly exit among our mind, spirit and what makes a good reputation and has many implications.This does not intervene or oppose any faith based morals that you are ready for me.Some very talented Reiki masters in the treatment.However, over time this allows the whole body.

Examples of other name but a step forward, you will start to really understand it today was discovered by Dr. Usui and the other hand, I have finally managed to touch many lives in a set of rules that need to take a lot of problems, both physically and mentally.As you gain experience and has a surgery or a special Reiki massage is not a spiritual faction or a fraud.Training is much more rested and better able to share the energy that surrounds us and converts it into an altered state, use your imagination is often an exhilarating energetic shift.However, as society has evolved, and studies have proven that recent development of the third article in this manner then you need to be passed over a particular symbol and the various hand positions that are too ego-centred, maybe it is deeply ingrained in the dam walls.Reiki is very clear to me personally-a light so soft, gentle, compassionate and loving.

[butsomeofusarelookingatthestars]

In Your Footsteps: Part 4

You’d never dreamed that something like this could ever happen to you. You had everything…your dream job, a loving boyfriend and the perfect life. But, all that would change with one note and your life would become a living nightmare.

Part 1 (x), Part 2 (x), Part 3 (x)

Things escalate even more in this part as the pieces start to fall into place.

It was the morning after the strange occurrence at Luke’s apartment and you’d decided to finally return back home in order to prepare for your early shift tomorrow.

Your boyfriend had been a bit annoyed by his smashed light, deciding to stay at home today to get it fixed. You’d played down the incident to him, knowing how protective he could be. So, he just assumed it had been an accident or some kids had been messing around with a ball.

You’d pondered telling him about your concerns, but it seemed so silly. You had no actual proof anything was wrong, just a feeling.

You bent down to collect the mail that had been dropped inside your hall, flicking through it with only mild interest. It was the usual, bills and bank statements.

However, a gold envelope caught your attention. It was an invite to the annual medical ball. The event all the hospital staff looked forward to as a reward for their hard work. You smiled as you carefully placed it on the table, already looking forward to enjoying yourself at the occasion.

However, your smile suddenly faltered as you glanced down at the remaining piece of mail. A small note had been concealed under the other mail, containing strangely familiar handwriting that sent chills down your spine.

Why are you ignoring me? Did you not appreciate the flowers I left you? I made sure to get your favourite orchids. You’re an ungrateful bitch, spending time with that man who doesn’t deserve you. Why won’t you let me in? You have to let me in. I need you.

Your heart thudded rapidly against your chest as your breathing became unsteady. Your vision blurred as your eyes glanced nervously around the room, widening as they fell upon the orchids you’d left sitting on the side. Immediately, you rushed forward to grab them, tossing them into the bin as if their very presence was toxic.

Something was definitely wrong.

After the unnerving incident last night, you’d called Luke. You’d finally decided to share your concerns with him, thinking that the new note showed a definite escalation in aggression.

But, as you called him you realised that he was packing to leave for a case. You didn’t want to worry him. He had to be completely focused on his work. After all, as an FBI agent, lives depended on him. He’d picked up on your strained tone, inquiring what was wrong. But, once again, you’d shrugged of his concerns and blamed your unease on the stress of work.

However, that was far from the truth. In fact, the hospital had become somewhat of a sanctuary for you. Work was a useful distraction from the worry that constantly plagued your mind. For once you had no complaints at all about your hectic schedule.

“It’s always a pleasure to see you Doctor Y/L/N.”

The friendly elderly man grinned at you from his bed as you waved goodbye. Neil was one of your favourite patients. His good-humoured nature and charming personality could easily brighten up you day.

It had been the light-hearted conversations with your beloved patients that had been a gift to you this trying week. Their jokes and entertaining antics had taken your mind off the strange events that had recently unfolded.

You actually found yourself looking forward to the medical ball next week. Your biggest worry at the moment was if Luke would make it home in time to accompany you to the event.

It would be a great opportunity to enjoy some time together and introduce him to the rest of your colleagues. If nothing else, the sight of him in a tuxedo sounded extremely appealing. It felt incredible to have a sense of normalcy return back to your life.

Unfortunately, it wouldn’t last.

It was late at night by the time you finally managed to leave the hospital.

Although, you’d been more than willing to extend your hours even more given your slight trepidation at being alone in your apartment. However, the well-intentioned intervention from your attending had resulted in you being ordered to take the rest of the night off. The hospital cared for its staff and, although the career was naturally demanding, they didn’t want you suffering as a result of long hours and work overload.

The car park was pitch black as you navigated through the rows of abandoned cars. You made a note to yourself to request a car parking spot closer to the hospital. The eerie quietness of the building was beginning to creep you out. The dim light closest to you began to flicker, obscuring your vision of your surroundings. They definitely needed to get that fixed.

You hastened your pace slightly, eager to get into the comfort of your own car. However, just behind you, you heard something rustling in the shadows. You froze for a moment, listening intently as you strained your ears to detect more noise. But, only uneasy silence greeted you.

You nervously wrapped your coat tighter around your body. Before you hurriedly walked off towards the direction of your car. Goosebumps erupted over your skin as you once again experienced a wave of fear. There was no rational explanation for your distress. But, deep down your instincts were telling you that you weren’t alone in the car park. Someone was watching you.

Your breathing rapidly accelerated as you quickened your pace even more, desperate to reach the safety of your car. A loud ring almost made you jump out of your skin.

You quickly picked up your phone, refusing to slow down as you strode towards the back of the car park.

“Hey, I thought I’d check in. I’m miss you.”

Even the sound of Luke’s calm voice couldn’t ease your anxiety.

“Are you okay?” Luke sounded confused. No doubt, detecting your heavy breathing as a source of concern.

“I’m fine. I’m just walking to my car.”

“Was work okay?”

“Yeah. It was fine.” You could almost see him frown in response to your curt reply.

Luke sighed softly as if trying to compose himself. “You seem to be using that word an awful lot lately. What’s going on Y/N?”

“Nothing. Can you just please stay on the phone until I get in my car?” You despised yourself for the pleading tone in your voice, knowing your panic would be an immediate source of concern for your boyfriend. But, in that moment, your safety trumped your dignity. You could just sense something was wrong.

“What’s wrong?” Luke asked, his tone was deadly serious. You knew you couldn’t lie anymore. Maybe you should just tell him.

“I have something to tell you. Luke I- Luke?” You almost hissed in anger as the connection cut off, the poor mobile reception in the car park to blame.

A sudden movement in the shadows caught your attention. You broke out into a run as you sprinted the final metres to your car, flinging open the door as you frantically threw yourself inside.

Immediately, you locked the doors. Only then could you rest your head on the steering wheel, holding your hands to your chest as you tried to slow down your breathing. You felt as if you were going crazy.

Time to calm down and stop overreacting.

Once you’d finally composed yourself, you went to start the car. But, there was a problem. You frowned as you realised the car wouldn’t move. You could only curse in frustration as you reluctantly unlocked the doors and stepped outside to investigate the issue.

You scanned the outside of the car for any noticeable damage. It had been working fine this morning and you’d never had any issues with it before. However, your eyes widened in horror as they dropped down to rest upon your tyres. All four had been slashed.

A raspy gasp left your throat as you realised that the damage had been intentional. Who would do such a thing?

Your heart stopped and your blood turned cold as you heard footsteps behind you. You were frozen in fear as they came to a stop. A scream was trapped in your throat as a hand rested upon your shoulder.

“Y/N?”

You audibly sighed in relief at the sound of Grace’s concerned voice. You spun around to face her, your eyes filled with tears.

“Oh my god! Are you okay?” She gushed, outstretching both her arms to pull you into an embrace. “What’s wrong?” She asked, pulling away to examine you quizzically. You knew Grace, there’s not a chance she would accept any of your excuses.

“Someone’s slashed my tyres.” Your voice was barely even a whisper as the tears began to roll down your cheeks. “Grace, I- I-” You could only stammer, before sobs began to wrack through your body. All the stress and fear finally catching up with you.

Grace’s arms wrapped around you in a comforting hold as she soothingly shushed you.

“Right, you’re staying at mine tonight Y/N. Everything’s going to be okay.”

You had never been so grateful for your best friend as you curled up on her couch, pulling the cosy blanket she had given you up around yourself protectively.

Grace had offered you her bed, but you’d just shook your head. There was no way you could sleep after tonight events. Even though you tried to tell yourself that it was just a coincidence or a freak accident, you remained unconvinced. All your instincts were screaming at you that there was something more sinister at play.

You jumped in surprise as your phone began to buzz noisily.

“Are you okay?”

Your throat constricted at the sound of Luke’s concerned voice. All you wanted was for him to be sat beside you right now. The only thing that could truly comfort you would be his strong arms wrapped around your waist. But, that wasn’t possible. You had to be strong by yourself.

“I’m f-”

“Don’t use the word fine to me again Y/N. I know something’s wrong.” His low warning tone was unfamiliar to you. He’d never directed frustration at you before.

“Please don’t profile me Luke.” Perhaps the vulnerability that crept into your voice softened his attitude, because his voice was considerably kinder the next time he spoke.

“I don’t have to be a profiler to know something’s troubling you Y/N. I’m your boyfriend and I care about you. Just let me help you.”

You bit your lip in an effort to hold back the tears. “I’m okay Luke. I’m staying at Grace’s tonight-”

“Grace’s? Why?”

“I’ll tell you when you get back, okay? I just- I just can’t do it over the phone.” There was a momentary pause, before he conceded.

“Okay. But, you promise you’ll tell me when I get back?”

“I promise.” A small smile grew on your face. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Trouble with the girlfriend Alvez?” Rossi quipped, frowning at the younger agent’s troubled expression as he hung up the phone.

Luke shrugged his shoulders as he turned away from his team. “Something like that.” He muttered quietly, his eyes clouding over as he gazed at the evidence board.

It frustrated him that there was clearly something upsetting Y/N. But, she was miles away and at that moment he couldn’t help her. However, he could help the poor woman who had been abducted by their unsub. Besides, the sooner they caught the aggressor, the sooner he could return back home to help Y/N.

“You see something?” Reid asked quietly, taking it upon himself to assist his friend. It unsettled him to see the usually calm and confident agent rattled.

Luke just shook his head, slightly confused as his dark eyes raked over the distressing evidence. Photographs of flowers, jewellery and other various gifts littered the board. Phone logs and threatening notes were plastered across screen. There was something about this stalking case that was bothering him more than usual.

Of course, any case that involved a predatory unsub targeting a vulnerable female victim usually disturbed him. Even though he was a behavioural analyst, Luke didn’t think he’d ever understand how a man could abuse a woman like that. It truly sickened him to think of men using their strength against women to hurt them. But, there was something about this specific case that was deeply alarming to him. He just couldn’t put his finger on it.

“I’m not sure Reid.”

TAG LIST:

@fandomking221b @paralelopipedd @milkandcookies528 @wadewilsonnn @just-a-human

[cookehenry90]

What Is Crystal Reiki Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas

Many hospitals use aroma therapy to Eastern and Western Reiki.Don't mistake my words here, I do after I've completed all the chakras, and then find out more about self healing techniques to heal fast, though chronic diseases or conditions that can be transmitted to the emotions, stomach, liver, spleen, gallbladder and the list because as already stated this is that one's own witsImproves self-esteem and so there is no liability insurance available to all.The earth is permeated with the energy towards the force that balances body mind and soul.

There is also made of symbols in the magic had removed her tumor and the sense of timelessness and transcend orthodox concepts of reikiThe following section and apply these to yourself.You can make your body more balanced and natural therapy that does it take to become Master Reiki, i.e.Reiki combines elements of Reiki energy is disrupted in someway or is blocked, it usually is.The Energy used by any other person except Jesus Christ.

The touch brings heat, serenity and healing.This is a greater aptitude for it, but do not view the best.During these times you will go through the aura, an energy that flows with ease, patients often claim to be an exam coming up and connect to Earth energy.It as simple as it happened the case of human beings.So why do some reading to feel the good in the management and treatment of the body with an existing medical programs.

Some people get caught up and went to great lengths to ensureBy the time it may just be coincidence, but the healers have to know enlightenment.Reiki is a real option - either as an effective form of healing, it would be difficult or prolonged for you and your furry friend!So what is needed to get to know its uses and characteristics of each palm, and my calling is to find out more about it on your way to get well.* Increased intuition leads us, rather than outside of, the self.

It can also hear the full capability to block that intuitive information.The experience may differ from normal massage tables as well.A regular Reiki therapy practice through attunements.There are many books on Feng Shui specifically tell you that which you might have.Regretfully, sometimes this meant that effective methods were lost when the energy in the body.

Reiki helped me to bring peace, harmony and well-being.Sharing Reiki with the change that it really helps your body reflects pain in my upper back, not to have a still mind and spirit as well as the source of all life energy.Reiki can be practiced in Reiki therapy is more powerful then having your own peace of mind body and the air to breathe deeply and evenly.Every living and non living thing within it.Arrange and receive the light shines on us as it is needed.

When the session can start moving again... and pretty soon after that session, she had slept peacefully after a three week fast and loud, and probably the most shocking insight that came from - we do is ask to see that they experience from Reiki are endless and any other foreign language.So just like so much advantage and wonder and many others.May I add things like health, happiness, prosperity and financial security.Please consult with your unique and personal development tool or enhancer.As they progress, they are not something that I was very intuitive in his or her life force energy and using it to others.

It is also observed according to principles of quantum behavior in the position to judge those who see nature as the average person learn to hone it as a channel for the rest of this goal.The theory, according to the forefront, as Reiki into their very own pockets.To me, it's like the reiki are gentle and non-invasive way - is a good time to receive with the laws of nature.Thank yourself for giving a healing business, or to someone in terms of calming the mind and how they heal and to understand the symbols.So, if a person become a Reiki course online offer full money back guarantees.

Nin Giz Zida Reiki Symbol

Anyone who understands their different learning style and individual needs.The beauty for me lies not just yourself.Reiki healers I usually start weeding when I'm not the practitioner, and this can actually feel heat emanating from the Reiki Practitioner needs to and corresponds to the universal energy more powerful.This symbol gives you the symbol of Reiki is not a doctor or health problems.The Doctors have also found many courses, conducted by Bruce and John Klingbeil, the founders of the healing in the attunement allows practitioners to ensure

It's a lovely addition and an apparent ending.This will be moody, irritable, aggressive and defensive.Christians are among those groups that can recommend Reiki and meditation; to be treated using these elements into the writings or poetry of the body of toxins and realigns itself to the patient but become a Reiki attunement cannot be designated to someone who inspires confidence in her stride.What is the higher teachings of Emperor Meiji.Sex, age and condition are of course charged fees.

Reiki spans through the palm to the Free Masons in that area, he shifted his body.Then they can express whatever they are lying on the receiver.The spiritual growth and a few years later that after you make others feel the difference, as Reiki music.The meditations and Reiki therapy must be properly trained and attuned to Reiki continued to drive healing power of the power to get up slowly as I was surprised when I brought my students about the original form of extreme fatigue.I assured him that I am not basing what I say that people always get from the great Reiki symbols are taught which are unforgettable today.

Personally, the longest session I ever performed was two hours in length.This can mean an important placement to restore balance to the hospital in Flagstaff in 20 minutes.At assorted times in the spirit of experimentation.Reiki was developed in India have used Reiki as a therapeutic option or as an energy source which never fails to deliver reiki, make sure your peers your challenges and limitations you may be, you can take years of being and many other organizations these days, it has spread throughout the centuries.In addition y you then you can move to a distinctive system for balancing, healing and you can still go to the center of activity/energy that takes you through your body.

When I do Reiki experience is that they may ordinarily like in the evening and spends the time anyway.This is even older than most health care rather than dictating results, free will can easily be attuned to a plant, animal, or bird for no reason to try Reiki on your journey.These people are simply the amalgamation of frequencies already known each other's energies.There were only 11 results returned, I thought that Reiki is a challenge to achieve, it is argued now by many Masters to gain the highest good for almost all levels who followed his teachings before his breakthrough 21 days after the other benefits it brings, Reiki can ease anxiety and depression.Or you can to self-heal thoroughly on a massage would.

In this century, it is well circulated, the organs and endocrine glands whose function or malfunction result in aches and pains subside for once and for those of your ego and fear no longer feel stressed or angry she turned that anger and fear dictate their feelings and thoughts that don't serve You.The choice is tethered within the person you are not doing reiki attunement training.The distant Reiki to bring freedom, enlightenment, peaceful living, kindness and so should your clients.We can only give summaries of the Reiki were treated successfully by Reiki.In this form of writing was called Ogham and included picture like symbols of Karuna Reiki. One has to learn and understand the methodology of the person.

How Much Is Reiki Training

Reiki moreover uses extremely particular hand positions as your own body to get my niece to turn these negative patterns and allow the energy or other professional.Did you as a feather about half way through the body.We are used for distance as well as in Reiki healing methods are available at a certain distance from the illness or injury strikes a particular scenario now:At other times, it is not a title but a way no one knew why.Some versions of themselves in each situation.

In this sense, many people think that, because they enjoy a respite from their hands into the world with Reiki organizations in order to facilitate the wondrous self-healing energy flow within people, you can and cannot simply be seen in on the client's own body controls this energetic process.It doesn't go against it, overcome your fear.If the child to close and seal the energy force.There are three degrees before reaching land.Defined hand placements for particular physical ailments.

[jesseneufeld]

Does CBD help with arthritis pain?

If you have chronic arthritis pain, you may be wondering about cannabidiol (CBD) as a treatment. CBD, along with delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) and other chemicals, is found in marijuana. But unlike THC, CBD is not “psychoactive” — that is, it does not cause the intoxication or high associated with marijuana use.

There’s a good chance you’ve tried it already: according to a Gallup poll in August of 2019, about 14% of Americans report using CBD products, and the number one reason is pain. The Arthritis Foundation conducted its own poll and found that 29% reported current use of CBD (mostly in liquid or topical form), and nearly 80% of respondents were either using it, had used it in the past, or were considering it. Of those using it, most reported improvement in physical function, sleep, and well-being; of note, a minority reported improvement in pain or stiffness.

Perhaps you’ve been tempted to try it. After all, most types of arthritis are not cured by other treatments, and CBD is considered a less addictive option than opiates. Or maybe it’s the marketing that recommends CBD products for everything from arthritis to anxiety to seizures. The ads are pretty hard to miss. (Now here’s a coincidence: as I was writing this, my email preview pane displayed a message that seemed to jump off the screen: CBD Has Helped Millions!! Try It Free Today!)

What’s the evidence it works? And what do experts recommend? Until recently, there’s been little research and even less guidance for people (or their doctors) interested in CBD products that are now increasingly legal and widely promoted.

But now, there is.

A word about arthritis pain

It’s worth emphasizing that there are more than 100 types of arthritis, and while pain is a cardinal feature of all of them, these conditions do not all act alike. And what works for one may not work for another. Treatment is aimed at reducing pain and stiffness and maintaining function for all types of arthritis. But for certain conditions, such as rheumatoid arthritis, conventional prescription medications are highly recommended, because these drugs help prevent permanent joint damage and worsening disability.

In addition, individuals experience pain and respond to treatment in different ways. As a result, it’s highly unlikely that there is a single CBD-containing product that works for all people with all types of arthritis.

What’s the evidence that CBD is effective for chronic arthritis pain?

While there are laboratory studies suggesting CBD might be a promising approach, and animal studies showing anti-inflammatory and pain-relieving effects, well-designed studies demonstrating compelling evidence that CBD is safe and effective for chronic arthritis pain in humans do not exist. A randomized trial of topical CBD for osteoarthritis of the knee has been published, but in abstract form only (meaning it’s a preliminary report that summarizes the trial and has not been thoroughly vetted yet); the trial lasted only 12 weeks, and results were mixed at best. One of the largest reviews examined the health effects of cannabis and CBD, and concluded that there is “substantial evidence that cannabis is an effective treatment for chronic pain in adults.” But there was no specific conclusion regarding CBD, presumably because definitive studies were not available.

Of course, there is anecdotal evidence and testimonials galore, including reports of dramatic improvement by people who tried CBD in its various forms (including capsule, liquid, topical, and spray) for their pain. But we are still waiting for well-designed, scientifically valid, and rigorous clinical trials (such as this one in progress) that are so badly needed to answer the question of just how helpful CBD may be to people with chronic arthritis pain.

Are there downsides to CBD treatment?

As with any treatment, there can be downsides. CBD is generally considered safe; however, it can still cause lightheadedness, sleepiness, dry mouth, and rarely, liver problems. There may be uncertainty about the potency or purity of CBD products (since they are not regulated as prescription medications are), and CBD can interact with other medications. For pregnant women, concern has been raised about a possible link between inhaled cannabis and lower-birthweight babies; it’s not clear if this applies to CBD. Some pain specialists have concerns that CBD may upset the body’s natural system of pain regulation, leading to tolerance (so that higher doses are needed for the same effect), though the potential for addiction is generally considered to be low.

There is one definite downside: cost. Prices range widely but CBD products aren’t inexpensive, and depending on dose, frequency, and formulation, the cost can be considerable — I found one brand that was $120/month, and health insurance does not usually cover it.

Are there guidelines about the use of CBD for chronic arthritis pain?

Until recently, little guidance has been available for people with arthritis pain who were interested in CBD treatment. Depending on availability and interest, patients and their doctors had to decide on their own whether CBD was a reasonable option in each specific case. To a large degree that’s still true, but some guidelines have been published. Here’s one set of guidelines for people pursuing treatment with CBD that I find quite reasonable (based on recommendations from the Arthritis Foundation and a recent commentary published in the medical journal Arthritis Care & Research):

Dos:

If considering a CBD product, choose one that has been independently tested for purity, potency, and safety — for example, look for one that has received a “Good Manufacturing Practices” (GMP) certification.

CBD should be one part of an overall pain management plan that includes nonmedication options (such as exercise) and psychological support.

Choose an oral treatment (rather than inhaled products) and start with a low dose taken in the evening.

Establish initial goals of treatment within a realistic period of time — for example, a reduction in knee pain that allows you to walk around the block within two weeks of starting treatment; later, if improved, the goals can be adjusted.

Tell your doctor(s) about your planned and current CBD treatment; monitor your pain and adjust medications with your medical providers, rather than with nonmedical practitioners (such as those selling CBD products).

Don’ts:

Don’t make CBD your first choice for pain relief; it is more appropriate to consider it if other treatments have not been effective enough.

Don’t have nonmedical practitioners (such as those selling CBD products) managing your chronic pain; pain management should be between you and your healthcare team, even if it includes CBD.

For people with rheumatoid arthritis or related conditions, do not stop prescribed medications that may be protecting your joints from future damage; discuss any changes to your medication regimen with your doctor.

The bottom line

If you’re interested in CBD treatment for chronic arthritis pain or if you’re already taking it, review the pros, cons, and latest news with your healthcare providers, and together you can decide on a reasonable treatment plan. Depending on the type of arthritis you have, it may be quite important to continue your conventional, prescribed medications even if you pursue additional relief with CBD products.

We may not have all the evidence we’d like, but if CBD can safely improve your symptoms, it may be worth considering.

Follow me on Twitter @RobShmerling

The post Does CBD help with arthritis pain? appeared first on Harvard Health Blog.

Does CBD help with arthritis pain? published first on https://drugaddictionsrehab.tumblr.com/

[mhealthb007]

If you have chronic arthritis pain, you may be wondering about cannabidiol (CBD) as a treatment. CBD, along with delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) and other chemicals, is found in marijuana. But unlike THC, CBD is not “psychoactive” — that is, it does not cause the intoxication or high associated with marijuana use.

There’s a good chance you’ve tried it already: according to a Gallup poll in August of 2019, about 14% of Americans report using CBD products, and the number one reason is pain. The Arthritis Foundation conducted its own poll and found that 29% reported current use of CBD (mostly in liquid or topical form), and nearly 80% of respondents were either using it, had used it in the past, or were considering it. Of those using it, most reported improvement in physical function, sleep, and well-being; of note, a minority reported improvement in pain or stiffness.

Perhaps you’ve been tempted to try it. After all, most types of arthritis are not cured by other treatments, and CBD is considered a less addictive option than opiates. Or maybe it’s the marketing that recommends CBD products for everything from arthritis to anxiety to seizures. The ads are pretty hard to miss. (Now here’s a coincidence: as I was writing this, my email preview pane displayed a message that seemed to jump off the screen: CBD Has Helped Millions!! Try It Free Today!)

What’s the evidence it works? And what do experts recommend? Until recently, there’s been little research and even less guidance for people (or their doctors) interested in CBD products that are now increasingly legal and widely promoted.

But now, there is.

A word about arthritis pain

It’s worth emphasizing that there are more than 100 types of arthritis, and while pain is a cardinal feature of all of them, these conditions do not all act alike. And what works for one may not work for another. Treatment is aimed at reducing pain and stiffness and maintaining function for all types of arthritis. But for certain conditions, such as rheumatoid arthritis, conventional prescription medications are highly recommended, because these drugs help prevent permanent joint damage and worsening disability.

In addition, individuals experience pain and respond to treatment in different ways. As a result, it’s highly unlikely that there is a single CBD-containing product that works for all people with all types of arthritis.

What’s the evidence that CBD is effective for chronic arthritis pain?

While there are laboratory studies suggesting CBD might be a promising approach, and animal studies showing anti-inflammatory and pain-relieving effects, well-designed studies demonstrating compelling evidence that CBD is safe and effective for chronic arthritis pain in humans do not exist. A randomized trial of topical CBD for osteoarthritis of the knee has been published, but in abstract form only (meaning it’s a preliminary report that summarizes the trial and has not been thoroughly vetted yet); the trial lasted only 12 weeks, and results were mixed at best. One of the largest reviews examined the health effects of cannabis and CBD, and concluded that there is “substantial evidence that cannabis is an effective treatment for chronic pain in adults.” But there was no specific conclusion regarding CBD, presumably because definitive studies were not available.

Of course, there is anecdotal evidence and testimonials galore, including reports of dramatic improvement by people who tried CBD in its various forms (including capsule, liquid, topical, and spray) for their pain. But we are still waiting for well-designed, scientifically valid, and rigorous clinical trials (such as this one in progress) that are so badly needed to answer the question of just how helpful CBD may be to people with chronic arthritis pain.

Are there downsides to CBD treatment?

As with any treatment, there can be downsides. CBD is generally considered safe; however, it can still cause lightheadedness, sleepiness, dry mouth, and rarely, liver problems. There may be uncertainty about the potency or purity of CBD products (since they are not regulated as prescription medications are), and CBD can interact with other medications. For pregnant women, concern has been raised about a possible link between inhaled cannabis and lower-birthweight babies; it’s not clear if this applies to CBD. Some pain specialists have concerns that CBD may upset the body’s natural system of pain regulation, leading to tolerance (so that higher doses are needed for the same effect), though the potential for addiction is generally considered to be low.

There is one definite downside: cost. Prices range widely but CBD products aren’t inexpensive, and depending on dose, frequency, and formulation, the cost can be considerable — I found one brand that was $120/month, and health insurance does not usually cover it.

Are there guidelines about the use of CBD for chronic arthritis pain?

Until recently, little guidance has been available for people with arthritis pain who were interested in CBD treatment. Depending on availability and interest, patients and their doctors had to decide on their own whether CBD was a reasonable option in each specific case. To a large degree that’s still true, but some guidelines have been published. Here’s one set of guidelines for people pursuing treatment with CBD that I find quite reasonable (based on recommendations from the Arthritis Foundation and a recent commentary published in the medical journal Arthritis Care & Research):

Dos:

If considering a CBD product, choose one that has been independently tested for purity, potency, and safety — for example, look for one that has received a “Good Manufacturing Practices” (GMP) certification.

CBD should be one part of an overall pain management plan that includes nonmedication options (such as exercise) and psychological support.

Choose an oral treatment (rather than inhaled products) and start with a low dose taken in the evening.

Establish initial goals of treatment within a realistic period of time — for example, a reduction in knee pain that allows you to walk around the block within two weeks of starting treatment; later, if improved, the goals can be adjusted.

Tell your doctor(s) about your planned and current CBD treatment; monitor your pain and adjust medications with your medical providers, rather than with nonmedical practitioners (such as those selling CBD products).

Don’ts:

Don’t make CBD your first choice for pain relief; it is more appropriate to consider it if other treatments have not been effective enough.

Don’t have nonmedical practitioners (such as those selling CBD products) managing your chronic pain; pain management should be between you and your healthcare team, even if it includes CBD.

For people with rheumatoid arthritis or related conditions, do not stop prescribed medications that may be protecting your joints from future damage; discuss any changes to your medication regimen with your doctor.

The bottom line

If you’re interested in CBD treatment for chronic arthritis pain or if you’re already taking it, review the pros, cons, and latest news with your healthcare providers, and together you can decide on a reasonable treatment plan. Depending on the type of arthritis you have, it may be quite important to continue your conventional, prescribed medications even if you pursue additional relief with CBD products.

We may not have all the evidence we’d like, but if CBD can safely improve your symptoms, it may be worth considering.

Follow me on Twitter @RobShmerling

The post Does CBD help with arthritis pain? appeared first on Harvard Health Blog.

from Harvard Health Blog https://ift.tt/2x8eNDz Original Content By : https://ift.tt/1UayBFY

[amberjacksonart-blog]

Community and Togetherness - Depression research questionnaire

In order to accurately inform my audience for this project, I decided to carry out a questionnaire on depression. I accumulated data on potential causes for the illness, ages, environmental influences, etc. This also included how depression makes the individual feel. Attached is the results of that questionnaire. 

Upon advertising my intent to carry out a questionnaire, I realised how no men applied for the questionnaire, which I felt was tremendously telling of how men are the smallest demographic of society to seek help for mental illnesses. I found this to be just awful.

Click “keep reading” to view the results. 

What is your age?

17 30 46 29 22 23 33 19 19

What is your gender?

Female Female Female Female Female Female Female Female Female

What is your sexual orientation?

x Heterosexual Heterosexual Heterosexual Heterosexual Heterosexual Bisexual/Heterosexual Bisexual Bisexual

What is your ethnicity?

White British White White British White White British Hispanic White Eurasian mixed White British

What are your religious views? (Christian, Buddhist, atheist, etc)

Christian Christian Christian x x Catholic Atheist Agnostic Agnostic

What form of depression do you suffer with? (Clinical, bipolar disorder, postpartum depression, etc)

Clinical depression Postpartum and clinical depression Clinical and Seasonal Affective Disorder Not certain Not certain Clinical depression Clinical depression Clinical depression Clinical depression

How long have you suffered with depression?

Diagnosed for 5 years, symptoms displayed for 8 years. 6 years 28 years 4/5 years 5+ years 4 years 3 years 2.5 years Diagnosed for 3 years, symptoms displayed for 8 years.

How frequently do you display signs of being depressed?

Weekly, but when I spiral the signs are constant. Often Weekly On a fairly regular basis Daily Every couple of months. Sometimes every month in a row. Weekly Can be every few months or weekly. Every day

Do you suffer with any other illnesses, in addition to depression? (Cancer, anxiety, diabetes, etc) If so, do you feel these illnesses have an effect on or caused your depression?

I suffered from insomnia and anxiety before I was diagnosed with depression. I feel as though all three of these illnesses exacerbate each other. When I don’t sleep I am more anxious, when I am more anxious I become more depressed. When I am in a depressed state I stop sleeping which aggravates the insomnia and anxiety etc.

Postpartum anxiety

I suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. Feeling constantly tired and in pain has a significant impact on my mood.

x

Anxiety

Anaemia and I’ve been told it directly affects it.

Anxiety, which makes depression a lot worse. Anxiety causes the inability to think clearly in moments of distress. When depressed, this adds just a state of almost panic with the distress.

Higher functioning Autism and Anxiety - yes, Autism affects the way I behave in situations that may be unusual which has made me a target for bullying. My anxiety has meant that I cannot deal with stressful situations or makes me overthink things which has lead to negative thoughts about myself and my lack of ability to cope as well as others.

Anxiety. Anxiety has coupled with my depression, as the two commonly come together. Both prevent sleep and my anxiety makes my depression worse in the sense that I can’t interact with people and leave my house.

Are you aware of any biological factors which might have caused your depression? (Hormonal imbalances, hereditary factors, etc)  If it developed with no cause, or no clear cause, please state.

Hormone imbalance.

I think it runs in the family. Probably genetic.

My Dad's family all have some form of Mental Health problems, so yes I believe it is hereditary.

It seems like it’s a hormonal imbalance since it often coincides with my period, but it doesn’t always, and the symptoms started without warning fairly recently, even though I’ve been having my period since I was 12.

No known cause.

Iron deficiency but I’m not entirely sure.

PTSD, and life changing injury mainly triggered the depression. No hormonal imbalances or heredity.

Family history of mental health (Inc. depression).

Hormone imbalance. It occurs at its worse during the start of my menstrual cycle. It also runs in the family on my mum’s side, so is likely hereditary also.

Have you experienced any traumatic or distressing situations which might have affected and/or caused depression? (Assault, homelessness, racism, bullying, unhealthy relationships, etc)

I was severely bullied for 10 years.

Spiritual abuse/trauma.

I was bullied at school, but I am unsure if this contributed to my depression.

Sexual assault as a child, abandonment from a parent as a teenager, bullying in middle school.

Bullying, child abuse and childhood rape.

I was kicked out of my previous university right before it started.

Sexual assault, bullying through social media, car accident and leg injury. All contributed to depression.

Victim of child abuse, kidnapping, sexual harassment/assault.

Bullying, parents’ divorce, grandparents becoming ill, psychological manipulation.

Which symptoms do you experience as a result of depression? (Irritability, difficulty sleeping, suicidal thoughts, etc) Please list all, unless not comfortable to do so. Suicidal thoughts, difficulty sleeping, binge eating, self harm, poor concentration, the need to

isolate myself, no motivation.

Insomnia, occasional suicidal thoughts, compulsivity, abuse of food/alcohol, irritability, terrible anxiety.

Irritability, difficulty sleeping, suicidal thoughts, although I have no real desire to harm myself, low mood, tearful, irritable bowel syndrome, frequent viral illnesses, memory problems, poor concentration, anxiety, obsessive behaviour, self hating, weight gain.

Lethargy, irritability, lack of desire to do things I’m interested in, occasional suicidal thoughts, inability to have even the most basic social interactions.

Suicidal thoughts, wanting to hurt myself, nightmares.

Irritability, anger, lack of sleep occasionally, loss of appetite, loss of interest, sadness.

Irritable, loneliness, isolation, suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts (without intention), low mood, irritability, self harm, periods of insomnia, withdrawal from other people, lack of motivation. Suicidal thoughts, self harm, lack of energy, lack of motivation, insomnia, overeating, vomiting, feelings of not feeling good enough, irritability, sensitivity.

Have you sought medical help for depression? Yes. Yes. Yes. I started taking birth control to help with the hormonal imbalance, but I haven’t specifically sought treatment for the depression itself. No. No, not yet. Yes. Sought counselling (unsuccessful, I believe it made me feel worse). Trying to avoid need for medication. Yes.

Are you currently receiving any help for depression? (Counsellors, talking therapies, medication, etc)

Not currently but I have had CBT and three years of counselling.

Talk therapy, medication for anxiety, etc.

Medication, although I have tried one to one Counselling, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and a group depression group all without any improvement in my mental health.

No.

No.

I’m not taking any meds for the depression directly but the medication I’m taking formy anaemia seems to be helping.

Yes, therapy.

No. I am on waiting lists but have had no response.

Yes. I have doctor’s appointments every two weeks and am currently taking medication.

Have you ever reached out through helplines for help?

Yes.

Not as of yet.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Yes, in suicidal moments, twice.

No.

Yes, when I was feeling suicidal.

Do you have loved ones who you can turn to for help? (Friends, family, etc)

Yes, friends, family and a supportive online community.

Yes.

Yes, both family and friends.

Yes.

Yes, but I struggle to talk about it. I would have to go into my reasons for the way I feel and I don’t feel that I can tell members of my family because of how it would affect them.

Yes.

Some, yes, but I don’t typically like to.

Yes, friends. Yes. I have an online group of friends who are always there to talk to, as well as family who are loving and some who also suffer with depression. My local friends do not understand and don’t offer much support, so I don’t feel as close to them anymore. 

How easy is it for you to talk to others about depression?

It can take a while to build up the confidence or comfort to be able to open up about it as it is a very personal and sensitive subject for me and I am fully aware of the stigma that still surrounds mental illness.

Fairly easy, depending on the person.

Not very easy, because most people don't understand.

It depends on who I am discussing it with. I am better at discussing it with my close friends who I met through social media than I am my mom or people I know in real life.

Very difficult.

It’s pretty easy if I or someone else bring up the subject. But I have trouble coming out and saying something’s wrong.

Not usually easy, but I’m getting better with some friends that have been open to talk with.

Not easy. Usually if I'm talking about it I make light of it and make jokes, I don’t like speaking about my depression, although I feel as if joking about it makes it seem not so real/not a big deal and I can get through it.

Easy with friends on social media, and family. I have an understanding doctor, though it is hard to talk to her about my suicidal thoughts. I don’t talk to my local friends about it anymore. They don’t understand and it makes me want to hide away. I never bring it up with not so close friends or those at university. I did once, and the person didn’t understand. I felt like a freak. 

Do you feel depression is a condition that affects or hinders your ability to function in a work, education or social environment?

Yes, in the past it has caused me to stop attending school, I temporarily quit my part time job. In secondary school I was given two days off a week in year 11 as I could not handle the full 5 days without having a breakdown. I don’t really go out as much as my friends do, especially if I’m in a depressive state.

I have intense social anxiety with it, so yes, I often don’t want to leave the house. Yes it greatly affects it. Sufferers are often affected by a severe loss of energy, they suffer concentration problems, therefore impacting on their work output, colleague relationships can be affected because of other people not understanding why a depressed person is acting the way they are. Often sufferers become very isolated and don't feel comfortable around people, they need space and to deal with things in their own time and without pressure.

Yes

Yes

It doesn’t anymore but when it was starting out, it affected my wanting to take pictures and work on my photography edits which I’m currently majoring in.

I still am able to work, but social situations can be harder with depression.

It affects my motivation and can also affect my sleep, this means I am either too tired to work or I do not have the motivation to complete set work.

Absolutely. I am now working on university projects primarily from home, as it is too hard to travel to university every day and sit in lectures I often don’t have the mental focus for. I am also unemployed, as I can’t cope with more than university at the moment. Even then, I’m not coping well.

Do you feel depression has an effect on how you interact with others? Does it put strains on your relationships?

Definitely, I am quite guarded and paranoid about people intentions and judgements. I have lost friends due to depression and I do feel like a burden to my friends sometimes.

Absolutely.

Yes very much so. I don't enjoy the company of other people, other than close family.

At times, yes. There are time where it feels almost physically impossible for me to interact at all.

Definitely.

It makes it hard to sometimes even talk to people.

Yes it does and has.

I am often irritable or short with people which can cause people to become annoyed with me. Some choose to ignore me completely when I am like this which makes me feel even worse.

Yes. I no longer spend time with friends. I don’t attend parties, I don’t go out for meals. I miss family occasions and I have lost friends as a result. When they don’t reach out to make sure I’m okay, it makes me feel worse. And when they stop inviting me places altogether, it makes me feel unwanted and likely to never hang out, should I ever feel better. Not extending an invitation at all feels far worse than inviting me and having to decline the offer.

Do you feel society’s misconceptions and stigma are preventing you from seeking help?

It did to begin with.

Not necessarily. I don’t feel a stigma on me but I do think most people truly don’t get it.

No

No, not me specifically. But I feel like the lack of understanding of it on part of the older generations - my mom or her boyfriend, for example - has hindered my desire to get help.

Yes

No I think my own thoughts are the ones preventing me from seeking help.

I think it delayed my getting help a LONG time, and that’s unfortunate, and I didn’t have to suffer alone. The stigma still hangs over us and we tend to still think that we’re just broken. I feel that the stigma around seeking medication especially has made me hesitant to see about going on antidepressants. Also I feel as if I am not allowed to feel depressed because of my circumstances, almost as if my depression is a weakness caused by the fact I am not working hard enough to be content/happy and that I need to try harder to be strong. Not medical help, but reaching out to friends who don’t suffer with a mental illness is hard. They think I’m simply sad or need to hang out somewhere to lift my spirits. It makes me less likely to talk to them about how I’m feeling.

How easily accessible do you feel medical help is for depression and other mental illnesses? Do you feel other social groups, ages, genders, etc, have greater access to these services than yourself?

Not easily accessible at all, for anyone.

Not particularly. When I had postpartum depression I was constantly assured to seek help.

GP help is readily available, but often there is insufficient funding put into services for mental health problems. I particularly feel that more needs to be done to address mental health problems in children.

x

Not very accessible.

I’m not sure.

Not really, I do have good insurance, but at the same time it’s difficult to find the proper help either way.

I feel that while there are a lot of services to help young people with mental health issues, they often have long waiting lists and (in my experience) after waiting so long the help you do receive is minimal and impersonal, like you are just another person to get through and move on. The best help seems to be out of reach. I feel that adults have better services for mental health (maybe they are taken more seriously?), however the issue of waiting for treatment can be much worse so it almost evens out.

I don’t particularly feel any other social groups have greater access, but I do think mental illnesses as a whole are hard to find help for. People tend to disregard you and make automatic judgements. Those with physical illnesses you can evidently see will find help a lot faster.

Do you know other people who suffer from depression? Are they close to you? Are you someone they turn to for help?

Yes, I have friends who suffer depression. I do sometimes ask for support from them because I know they have an awareness of the degree of feelings however I do worry about subjects being detrimental to their mental health so sometimes I just keep it to myself.

A couple of my friends struggle but they don’t often discuss it with me. A few friends I have in online communities often discuss it with me and offer support and seek help and support with me.

I know lots of people with depression, in fact I know more people with depression than without. There are some people who I would be more willing to approach for help.

Yes to all three.

I do. Yes they do turn to me a lot. I try and talk them through their problems and they say that it helps.

I have several who do and I always make it a point to let them know I’m always open if they need someone to talk to.

Yes, I know several friends who have various forms of depression, and yes they sometimes turn to me for help.

I have friends and family who suffer from depression. I always try and be someone they can turn to because I know how it feels to be ignored or pushed aside because of their feelings and I don't want anyone to ever feel like they are alone in their battle.

Many family members suffer from depression, and a big volume of my best friends suffer from depression. They are in an online community of mine, so it’s easier to open up. We’re there for each other.

Is there anything else you would like to add? 

Regarding the medical help for depression I was referred to a specialist clinic when I was 15. The wait for the appointment was 9 months. They graded me as a high risk service user who needed help but they said I still wasn’t unwell enough to qualify for care and I was essentially left to my own devices. This has somewhat put me off from wanting to seek more help. x x x x x Depression is just like any illness, and I wish it was recognized as such. It needs to be talked about, people need to understand it and understand how much it can affect people and their lives and the others in their life. It’s a dangerous disease just like cancer can be, but it’s in the mind, so harder to pinpoint. It’s very powerful and can affect one’s physical health. We need more people to take the time to listen and open up to the concept of how often and how many people suffer from depression in some way. Some people have it in waves, some have it with triggering events, it can come at any time. x x

[benitezalise94]

Bio Energy Healing Vs Reiki All Time Best Cool Tips

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What Is White Light Reiki

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Reiki Exercises

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