#do you view everything through such a negative lense all the time?

[lumiilys]

Just saw someone with the absolute worst, bad faith opinion on ofmd and I didn’t even have the energy to be pissed off by it. I just feel bad for that person, what a miserable way to live your life and view the world. No joy and whimsy allowed?

[beyond-far-horizons]

Hey, I'm always on the lookout for sfw and non-slash-focused Tolkien blogs because they're unfortunately all too few, so your pinned post really made me hope I found another one - you do say you occasionally reblog explicit fics though, do you tag them?

Sorry if this is a weird question 😕

@marietheran  Thank you for getting in touch. It's always great to connect with a fellow fan that looks like they share your views/way of appreciation regarding a beloved story.

No offense to anyone else on here, but yes, I too find the 'tumblrisation' of Tolkien's works difficult to deal with/interact with. There are some amazing fanworks, but mostly the way the majority on here filter the Legendarium through their modern lenses and shipping goggles (while understandable) is a total turn off to me. I try not to engage mostly as I loathe gatekeeping and fandom-fighting so I try not to neg people the way I wouldn't want to be negged. Which is why I won't tag this post in the main tags this time - too much scope for drama and backlash!

To answer your questions (no harm in asking at all - I too try and be careful who I follow because I'm very sensitive about what I see too), allow me to clarify. It depends what you consider NFSW of course, but generally anything that I see as being a bit risque I tag. Obviously, my views on that and yours may differ. I try to tag everything I post so people can filter regardless of what it is, but I don't always tag a pairing or a fandom if I'm venting because that would be rude and I don't want to get hassle from fans. That point about explicit fanfics on my pinned post was in case I wrote anything myself. In fact, I don't think I've ever posted anything most people on here would consider explicit - I feel quite awkward about that stuff myself! Not to be a prude and each to their own, but I also loathe a lot of the explicit stories and reader fics on here. I wouldn't reblog them I don't think. But yes, anything x-rated I would tag. I also would tag on the rare occasions I might reblog say a femslash pairing or something. You may also wish to filter some of my JJK stuff as some of that could be a polyship/OT3.

Regarding Tolkien, I have adored the Legendarium for 25+ years, ever since I was a child. The Silmarillion is one of my all time favourite books as is LOTR. I tend to return to my perennial hyperfixation yearly, but I do post about a lot of other things - mainly SF/F and nature pictures. Tolkien, as one of my all time loves and a childhood fandom (plus the way it's written and his own views) means I tend to engage with it mainly as it was written. Meaning I don't really like modern interpretations of it, lots of different types of shipping etc in the way I might do of something like say...an anime I just got into. So I think you might align with me on that. The only thing you might not like is the fact that Melkor is my favourite Tolkien character even though I deplore his actions. I find him such a fascinating character in various ways. Also I'm a person of faith too, although not via organised religions...I love the deep metaphysical aspects of the Legendarium, even though I can be a little critical of Eru and the Valar's actions at times. I also love all of Tolkien's ladies, Fingon, Finrod, Feanor (again deplore his actions), Maedhros, Varda, Nienna, Aule, Manwe (sometimes when he isn't playing faves with the Elves), Beleg, Mablung, Gandalf, Celebrimbor, Aegnor (love him and Andreth), Gimli and so on... If canon mentions the characters are family and/or friends I don't ship them and generally get irate when I see this in the fandom (although, you know, sigh, ship and let ship and so on...). The only non-canon ships I have a soft spot for are Melkor x Varda (I do see it as canon unrequited and more in a Timeless Halls/metaphysical way, although I also love Manwe x Varda obviously), Finrod and Andreth (although I love Andreth x Aegnor and love Finrod and her being friends) and Caranthir and Haleth. Also, I'm very much a fan of platonic relationships across fandoms, but especially in Tolkien where they are so beautifully and at times intensely portrayed.

I think that's it! Apologies for Wall of Text TM!

[uranium-city]

@june-doe-event’s June Doe is finally here & with that I made my first entry to the with the pride prompt!! Here are a bunch of ramblings about my headcanons for the choir!! Maybe I’ll do little icons or something in the future but for now I just wanted to write my thoughts in the incoherent mess that is these few paragraphs 😭

Ocean is an asexual lesbian! As someone who only likes women she just radiates those vibes, it takes one to know one, y’know? Anyways with Ocean’s strong need to conform to societal standards I can very much see her as someone who suppresses their sexuality to feel more desirable by society. Girlypop’s got a lot of internalized homophobia she’s working through & is the last member of the choir to come out. The rest of the choir lowkey realizes she’s queer before she does 😭. She’s very “[Woman] is so pretty… but I’m NOT gay guys I’m NOT GAY!!” 

The ace part is pretty self explanatory. Throughout the whole musical Ocean is repeatedly disgusted by anything & everything sexual. While it could be argued she does this to keep up her goody-two-shoes, moral persona, the fact that her acting like this only serves to antagonize her from the rest of the choir leads me to believe it’s less of a “Look at how moral I am!! You should vote for me!!” thing & instead a bit more personal. Her putting down Noel, Constance, & Ricky for expressing sexuality most certainly will not get them to vote for her I feel like she’s saying these thing just because that's genuinely how she feels about sex. 

I posted this the other day but I’ll add it again here since I wanna make this point “I always found it odd how in Every Story’s Got a Lesson straight A student, miss smarty pants Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg interprets the lesson behind Romeo & Juliet to be “teen sex kills” & not that baseless hatred leads to unnecessary bloodshed. I’m sure it’s just a throwaway joke & doesn’t matter at all.. HOWEVER I will be using this to spread my ace Ocean agenda. No one that smart misinterprets such a simple message like that unless they already view sexual relationships in an inherently negative light.” Big sex-repulsed ace vibes to me.

Noel is canonically a gay man so there’s that. In my mind he’s a cis man but enjoys presenting himself in a fem-leaning lense. Like he definitely would’ve gotten into drag if he had lived & doesn’t mind she/her pronouns despite identifying as a dude. He’d probably get all giddy if you referred to him as Monique. Overall just very comfortable in his identity.

Mischa is THE bicon of all time. I feel like it took him a while to realize that as well but not because of internalized homophobia like Ocean but instead because he just?? never really thought of it as an option?? Mischa’s not homophobic in the slightest but grew up in a country where queerness is typically regarded in a negative light & because of that the thought of him being queer never really crossed his mind. It wasn’t until he met Noel that he was like “Wait… man can actually like man?? Like romantically?? …like actually??! Woah... that’s awesome..”. I also like the idea of Mischa being polyam because he has two hands Goddammit & one’s for Talia & the other is for Noel. 

I feel like the entire RtC community collectively agreed on Ricky being trans which is really funny to me /pos. In my mind he’s gender-fluid & uses any pronouns & is usually referred to with he/him due to being masc presenting. I don’t really have any strong opinions on whether he’s transfem or transmasc I just know that he hasn’t got a cis bone in his body lmao. I feel like I tend to gravitate towards transfem since that seems to be the most common headcanon in the fandom but transmasc Ricky has really been starting to grow on me. I like the idea that despite the language barrier he faced & more traditional urban-ness of Uranium City he was able to express himself through transitioning & presenting more masculine. He’s not a trans man but he’s typically more comfortable settling with a masculine identity so it’s the best way he can express himself to a town that’s not understanding of his identity as a genderqueer person. + he was actually played by a transmasc actor once & that’s really cool!! Either way, trans Ricky is so real & I love how creative the fandom is when applying that headcanon to aspects of the musical like with the many interpretations of what Savannah meant to Ricky. Sexuality wise?? He definitely likes women & is either flat out only attracted to women or bi with a heavy female lean. 

Jane Doe doesn’t even know her own name let alone her sexuality. But that can’t stop me from giving Penny Lamb headcanons >:]

Despite the fact that I think about Penny the most out of the choir I never really could settle into a set lgbt headcanon for her?? I would love to say that Penny’s a lesbian but Legoland is very complicated with how it portrays her sexuality. Like it comes across that Penny does like men with her remarks on Johnny Moon & is only bullied for being a “lesbian” since this is the 2000s & being homophobic to the weird kids was the norm back then. But also?? Penny is pretty much implied to not even know what a lesbian is?? With her sheltered upbringing in Elysium it’s possible she didn’t even know what the concept of being queer was until she started being bullied at St. Cassian. Like if she didn’t even know being queer was a thing until she was like 15 then I highly doubt she has any sort of grasp on her identity. Like this isn’t your everyday normal comphet, this is… ADVANCED comphet.. + with all the Ride the Cyclone productions that have so many different futures for Penny (or whoever Jane is brought back as) including ones where she takes a husband, outside Legoland sources saying Penny’s not gay, but also the knowledge that Legoland is admittedly dated & if it were to be revised in modern day it would likely make Penny queer or at least leave it ambiguous since it’s more appropriate, I am so endlessly confused. I like lesbian Penny a lot !! I would like for it to be semi-canon but I definitely wouldn’t die on the hill that it is because of the way Legoland is written. Anyways those are my thoughts.

On a more brief note I feel like Penny’s agender but in a really apathetic way. By that I mean she just does not care at all. She doesn’t mind being referred to as a girl, she just doesn’t feel very connected to it. She doesn’t feel really connected to any other identity either, like in regards to gender she feels like she could just take it or leave it lol. She was born female & has such been referred to with feminine terms her whole life so that’s she’s become used to it, but if one day everyone around her inexplicably started referring to her with masculine terms she’d just continue her day like “oh okay that works too I guess.” 

Additionally Ezra shares the same feelings surround gender except that he’s accustomed to masculine terms instead. The main difference is that if you asked Penny her pronouns she’d probably be like “Oh I don’t really have a strong preference, thank you!” while Ezra would be like “Gender is a socially constructed scam created by the U.S. government to sell more toys at the McDonald’s. I am above that meandering capitalist propaganda. Do not refer to me.”

& finally Constance I go back & forth from her being the STRONGEST straight ally known to man & her being pansexual. (She does claim to see the gold, the pink, & the blue… coincidence?? I think not… /j.) Either way she definitely threw everyone little parties when they came out with cupcakes decorated as pride flags. She very supportive regardless of if she herself is queer or not. & while I hadn’t thought about this before, my one ace friend brought up that the way she regards sex as just something she needs to get out of the way comes across as ace reminiscent & I’ve been thinking about that a lot. I can def see her as being on the ace spectrum!! To me she doesn’t experience a complete lack of sexual attraction & definitely isn’t sex repulsed like Ocean but falls in the middle of ace & allo. Gray asexual Constance is very real to me. 

[capsensislagamoprh]

The Paper Army: Twisted Time

A Pathfinder Chronicle

Chronicler: Dela Lerias

Sunday, 29 Lamashan, 4723 A.R.

The Pesh festival was in full fever. Sorcha and I left Dhampir in the paws of George, learning advanced fighting techniques as we headed to the gathering fields to gather our years supply for Rupert. I know I don't need two-ten pounds... Still, we paid for it, intending to donating the rest to the healers. Pesh, when not abused, makes an excelent medicine for some conditions, and a rather potent sedative when more agonizing healing is needed. It took us over two day beams to return to the Sun Gate. The parting in the city was so great I was uncertain we'd make it back without spilling - or having our haul taken - by overzealous celebraters. It was well dark when we returned to Rupert. His old self gave me a cookie before I took the packages inside, staying in the night air to speak with Sorcha. I do not know what he said. I do know a somber smile, such as Sorcha wore, as we set to supper with the others. No matter how I tried she would not tell me what was said.

Moonday, 30 Lamashan, 4723 A.R.

I don't know what's going on. I only know that today has been traumatic to my soul. I woke to a bright day and a mission from Rupert. His young self handed each of us money and a bag with supplies, then sent us off to the Collage of Conjuration  - after a scolding plea to return the lenses for the Great Atrium's Star Scope. I refuse.  Once at the collage, we made out way to the guided teiportation ring room. Our destination was to be the Divination Towers in Absolom. We never made it there. I don't know if I miscalculated, or if it was beyond my doing. I know that White Tower disrupted the teleport, pulled us directly to its protected metal walls, and that's where sanity ends.

Sorcha tried to tell me what was going on. I couldn't understand through the ringing in my ears. Everything was blurred and focused too much at once. Lights flashed a scorching red as Dhampir called out to the Tower. Holding my familiar tight, I calmed enough to hear what was being said.

"Planetary Negative Event."

I didn't have time to process. White Tower told Dhampir things needed repaired for us to survive, and survival is key.  Scrounging for parts, I fixed the weapons systems with a spare crystal spider leg while Sorcha fixed the view ports. Dhampir corrected the inertial dampeners - I don't know what that means, nothing seemed wet. There was suddenly a lot of rumbling, a lot of noise, and we were looking out on Golarion. I stood frozen in terror.

Dominion of the Black. I always thought they were daemons, some sort of myth, or a misinterpretation of dark events. They were real. They were invaders from a distant place. In horror we watched as they reduced the planet and all on it into base elements, then to something smaller, and smaller, until at last the great black things sucked up the remains. Something deep inside sparked until I found myself staring at the Weave. In an instant of understanding I knew the 'ships', not of any make I had ever seen, were somehow using our planet for fuel. The five of them … ate our planet.

Sarenray would not tolerate this blasphemy. She struck with the might of her great light. A solid ray of sun cut through those black ships causing explosion after explosion, rocking White Tower with the force of the blasts. With out warning everything slowed, until time itself stopped. The bright light of a dimension door opened, only the weave in it was off as well. I had never seen so many tangles, knots, and thined out spaces in magic itself before. Something was very wrong. I knew instantly whatever the cause of the chaos was, the second I saw those glittering fangs I was in for a bad time.

Strad, you sorry sack of disappointment! You still owe me a pony!

I watched him pick up each frozen companion, throw them through the door, and when he got to me, with a hand on my head, he grinned. "Don't worry. I got you. And your pony, too." This is why I don't like him. I don't like him a lot. Not only does he legitimately owe me a pony, he is responsible for a demon being trapped in Dhampir's head, and makes comments like that. Not that my dislike stopped him from tossing me towards the door. He put spin on the throw, leaving me twisting in pitiful slow motion. If it weren't for that, I would never have been capable of seeing the split second look of horror on his face as pain vibrated through my entire form. I felt like a cracking crystal as Strad, eyes wide, shoved me with all his might into the portal. Something more dangerous than I had time to understand had began.

Monday, 30 October, 2085 A.D.

It hurt. I hurt. I hurt. The noise, the smell, the rain all conspired to pain. It burned my skin with every drop. Through blurred, light shook eyes, I could see pipes, stone, brick. My ears rang, I could taste  the smell of a spell gone wrong. Trying to sit up was another bad choice. As I emptied my stomach, I felt the sting and scrapes of a rough landing. Sorcha and Dhampir were less affected, their adult forms better built for miss-spelled mishaps. By the time Sorcha noticed my distress, then found a cookie in my pack to calm me, they were well into conversation about the thinness of the weave and where we landed. We had, with Strad's help, found our way to Sorcha's home world, perhaps even her time. I hated it. She said it had ghouls with casual ease - as if a world inhabited by the undead was something to be shrugged off. Worse, she explained they were not undead, but humans who just ate others of their kind without understanding why.

Dhampir, ever practical, looked over his equipment. He found his spell book weird, so we compared it to mine. It should have been the same. We'd spent several nights poring over each other's offerings to find the most efficient way to make the spells work. Yet our books were not reflections. I had things I had not seen before. Ones he could not cast. We tested this. He cast light with difficulty. Dhampir is an Arch Mage. To him such spells should be as breathing, yet spells any aprintice should be capable of working were indecipherable to his mind.

I asked him to try one found in my book, but not his. He had to use read magic to comprehend it. It was listed in my book as a cantrip. I thought it was a matter of scrolls verses wizard's book lock. As Sorcha got her bearings, I took the time to write the spell on a scrap of parchment. Dhampir could not cast it. Neither of us understood what was going wrong.

Sorcha returned from the edge of the alleyway, telling us a mere ten-tens of miles would get us to a place where she might have contacts. Then she warned us - this place is more dangerous than mere ghouls. We were in something called the Outlands. It was full of life ending events waiting to happen. This was Industrial. As she exsplained what that meant, I found myself I unable to comprehend. Who would want to come to a crafter in such a smell of burning rain? Sorcha tried to explain the revolution of Industry, which I again failed to understand. What mage cast such dark magic? Was it a necromancer? Is this why there are failed ghouls and the sky water burns? Did they mean to cause such damage or missuse an artifact? Who would willingly poison their land for something they could simply ask a proper craftsman to make?

Then she said Magic had left them. For a while my brain stopped working. Magic. Stopped. Working?! How? Why? Sorcha reassured me it was working now, though weak. That was how the races came back. Came back? Where did they go? What races? What did she mean?!

Double nudged me, turning my attention to George. I watched him run up and down the ally, his rat form puffing up, then dropping again. He must have been terrified as I was. Trying to hold him, I found my sleeve invaded, as he raced to my neck, cowering on high alert in my collar. Scooping up my familiar I found myself rising, the cloak activating the 'clean baby' runes long ago stitched by the Dawn Treader into its weave…

[merrock]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

face claim: kofi siriboe

full name: romeo thompson-moyer

nickname(s) / goes by: romeo

pronouns & gender: cis man

sexuality: bisexual

birth date: august 31, 1994

birth place: elizabeth city, north carolina

arrival to merrock: march 2021

housing: the coast & pier

occupation: mechanic

work place: takato's bike garage (hideaway market)

family: raised by a lesbian couple, with two half-siblings (really though, they were were all fully related in everyone's mind; they are all still in elizabeth city)

relationship status: widower; single

PERSONALITY

Positive traits: Dexterous, decisive, mellow, curious, tender Negative traits: Frugal, sour, downhearted, reserved

Try as he might, it's difficult for Romeo to not draw some attention to himself when he enters a room. His tall stature is what people first notice, but then the mysterious aura surrounding him holds their attention. This dark cloud is often seen as a sign of a dark past, a timid nature, or a tamed aggression. If you asked, he wouldn't acknowledge any of these options, though each one holds its own validity.

WRITTEN BY: S.J (they/them), pst.

BACKGROUND / BIO

Triggering / sensitive content: Homophobia; bullying; cheating; death

The earliest memories coloring Romeo's youth are painted with vivid laughter and warmth. Brief moments from a time before school, a place where only his mothers, siblings, and himself inhabited. The Thompson-Moyer parents were good at creating a sense of self and strength within each of their children, so they felt free and secure.

School was a different story. Petty playground drama was one thing, but some of his peers began mimicking their families' comments on same-sex marriage. Words of prejudice spread from one child to the next, so by the time the holidays come around that first year, Romeo had no friends. The school children's cruelty were unfortunate foils to the qualities his parents worked so hard to establish and solidify within their own family. Though they had discussed the possibility of intolerance and discrimination before, the young Romeo had never considered it would become a common theme during his time at school until it was too late. While it persisted up until his graduation, it became less intense as the years went by and he was able to make friends and establish a strong friend group, though he would be considered "the quiet one" amongst them.

Always one for tinkering and working with his hands, Romeo only lasted two semesters at his town's local community college before going to trade school. Comfortable and confident with his work, adulthood allowed him to begin to settle into himself and abandon some of the shame that had been engraved into him as a child. It was meeting his future wife, Victoria, that really got him out of his shell.

Everything about Victoria excited him. Meeting her made him feel like the foggy, scratched lenses he'd been viewing the world through were lifted. There was clarity and warmth and brightness, just as there had been when he was a child. His friends noted the positive change in his spirit, his family rejoiced at the return of the light in his eyes from his youth. She brought something out of him that everyone had thought was lost. The only setback was that her career demanded she be in New York City if she were going to be successful. Being so family oriented, Romeo hesitated for a moment before following her to the city, the two marrying later that year.

Marriage changed Victoria. Maybe it was the city. Or the shallow, impulsive people in her field. Regardless of the reason, it was as if she knew Romeo wouldn't leave, so she began to do as she pleased. First flirting with others online, then in front of him whenever they went out together. Eventually, she would begin slipping into strangers beds. It caused Romeo to revert back to the silent sulker he had been in school. There is no telling how long he would have tried to get Victoria to return to him, but his efforts were cut short at her passing.

A dirty mixture of grief, rage, and shame clouded his mind everyday. There were so many feelings and memories to sort through that the city made it difficult to live. Tired of the pollution seeping into his soul, too sensitive to go back home, Romeo decided to just go further up north until he found Merrock. Knowing no one allowed him to get a grip and regain his sense of self, but that dark cloud still hangs over him and he's beginning to realize he might need to let people in if there's any hope of getting rid of it.

[mournersandfunerals]

I’ve had a lot of thoughts since I’ve finally read the book and I’ve seen so much discourse about how the Inner Circle are really out of character in ACOSF as opposed to the other books, but here’s the thing:

The previous books are set from Feyre’s perspective - first person and all. So it doesn’t really seem all that surprising that the characters seem different.  Rhys is her mate and the Inner Circle essentially saved her, so obviously she has a very positive view of the Night Court, it may also be that she’s seeing it through rose-tinted lenses. But Nesta doesn’t have that. She has a very negative view of them, which, to be honest, is entirely justified. Everything that they do and their treatment of her has her painting them in a really bad light. So a book from her POV is obviously going to be different. 

And while we’re on the topic, I have to say that it’s not black and white either. It’s not this whole thing of Feyre was right, and Nesta was in the wrong or vice versa. They both made mistakes in really bad ways. Dealing with trauma is never easy and Nesta probably could have tried to handle it better, rather than lashing out at the people who were trying to help her. But the Inner Circle are pretty damn flawed, too, and Nesta saw that. They basically attacked her every time she called them out on their bullshit because they didn’t want to hear it. But nine times out of ten, she was absolutely right. Feyre and Elain could have done a lot more, Mor had no right to be as awful to her as she was, especially when you consider her own treatment of Azriel and Cassian, and do not even get me started on Rhys or we’ll be here all day.

Anyway, stan Nesta Archeron for clear skin.

[golbrocklovely]

I’m sorry but Colby HAS insinuated that he hooks up with girls a lot. Which if he does. Fine. That’s literally none of our business. But I find it so wrong to compare him to Harry who literally didn’t insinuate nothing. He was an innocent child that was made out to be a womanizer. Harry went through shit that Colby couldn’t even imagine. Please stop trying to minimize Harry’s trauma by comparing Colby to him. That’s very disrespectful.

i don't think the previous anon was trying to discredit what harry has gone thru. clearly to me they seem like a fan of harry, so i highly doubt that is something they would do. i think they were more just saying that harry and colby, in some ways, have been viewed thru a similar lense. they have been both seen as men that fuck a lot of women, regardless of how many times they deny it. but, harry has gotten on a very wider scale than colby, that's 1000% for sure. there are similarities, but pointing them out doesn't take away from what harry has experienced.

also, you can say colby has insinuated he hooks up a lot, but… he hasn't really. he's lightheartedly said he doesn't want to settle down bc he's young and wants to have fun, but that doesn't imply he's fucking everything that moves either. he's never said "oh i fuck all the time" or anything like that. his friends will make jokes, but colby himself has never outright said who he has or hasn't slept with. every girl that ppl assume him to have been with is just that - an assumption. colby has never confirmed anyone. and you can make the assumption that he's probably been with a handful of the girls he's been seen with, but… you can also make that assumption about harry.

i think this shows how terrible it is to assume something like this about someone. bc regardless of how high-profiled or not someone is, assuming they're sleeping around or are a womanizer does a lot of damage to the person as a whole. colby has lost girl friends and has received death threats bc fans assume the girl he's around are his gf or fuck-buddy or whatever. and i can only imagine how magnified that is for harry. and god knows what internally harry has gone thru with this name tagged onto him. either way, both men have suffered from ppl making negative assumptions about them. and it's really sad to see.

[accidentalharrie]

I've just been waking up processing the interview and skimming through all your asks, and wow it's a lot to take in! I do wonder, do the mean girls keep up with everyone they detest in the way they do with Olivia? Because talk about obsession. It goes way beyond hate, since they stalk her social media (but somehow missed the love cup quote 🤭). Anyways, I block those people if I'm ever unfortunate enough to see one of their posts, but I don't go looking anymore. It's really not good for you, even this last couple of weeks has had a negative effect on me just from following all the "drama".

Anyway, I can't really take any of the nitpicking of her interview seriously because these people are holding onto their hate, jealousy and misogyny a death grip and will view everything she says through that lense lmao. It's just like those people who seem determined to pile onto Harry whenever he moves but a hundred times worse. All i see is self soothing and it's incredibly hilarious to me that they literally cannot cope with the truth - their relationship is strong. I mean they've been convincing themselves they'll break up for nearly 2 years, but especially since Olivia's personal and professional life has been messed with (Jason, Cinemacon, Shia, Florence, Venice). Very ugly of them and they deserve to be in so much distress. Maybe that's not very kind of me but whatever. I liked Olivia from the start, but the past year my respect for her has grown even more and I'm just overjoyed that she's with Harry. I can't imagine being so cruel to someone so important to him, regardless of any personal opinions you may have of her. Of all the people to hate in the world, their focus is Olivia Wilde...

Re: the mean girls/HLTs, I personally enjoy the theory I've seen that they absolutely knew about that tweet and were keeping it quiet.

Re: this week's social media pile-on, the "evidence" was presented so authoritatively by semi-respectable accounts who didn't realize they were parroting misogynistic q-anon lore, so I'm sure the cognitive dissonance will take some time to sink in for a lot of people. Like I said -- I think most are too invested in being #teammissflo, but I do think Olivia took, for herself at least, an important step in setting the record straight.

[sweetnightlullaby]

As I was watching shang-chi (which was a great and entertaining movie btw, some spoilers below) I realised how we need more female centric films, even blockbuster ones that aren't just oh a masculine lady who can kick ass.

No I mean a whole character heroine journey (the Joseph Campbell way) about maturing and finding her way and all the variations that can imply.

Give me the story through the woman's perspective, the growth, the anger, the grief, the grey morality everything male action protagonists have been praised upon and women (look at Daenerys or Wanda) have been called as *shock face* mad villains.That's some bulshit right there and a shallow understanding of a multi leveled character but because their stories are been told through male writers ( yeah I see you g.r.r martin) or through a male protagonist the male audience must identify with (and the female audience has learned to do as well), we never truly explore or bother to understand the women in films.

God how can a woman be anything more than a secondary character, a loving mother, a mad bloodthritsy man hating (most of the times abused) woman, a sexualised teenager etc.

Back to shang-chi for a sec. Imagine a film with xialing as it's main character, we never saw much behind her badass image (which was pretty satisfying I must say), to her own trauma, her own head to head meeting with her father, her own grief about her mother, her journey of leaving as a kid a traumatic life and finding her way to the top. It's just.. frustrating.

Because we have seen the father and son archetype and clash and reconciliation many many times in cimena (which is predominantly male dominated) but never the mother and daughter archetype and relationship, the clash also, the kindness and all the emotional depth. The matriarch and her heir.

There's just so much unexplored space there and so many young girls and women who are thirsty for something to identify and ponder with, to see themselves and take pride in.

I'm sorry but even tho it was a good movie and we need this representation of asian culture, it could be so much better if marvel just stopped being marvel for a sec. I rolled my eyes so many times when his father was literally abusing him but never got called on his bulshit by either him or his sister and we got a montage of them locking eyes in the end as he gave him the ten rings (like thanks dad but what about all the psychological and physical pain I endured through my childhood, guess we'll never mention it again).

A part I did like was how the siblings switched places a bit, with shang-chi taking his mother's caring role and xialing taking her father's leadership (which again would have more impact if she developed a relationship with him, negative or positive).

Okay I'm done rumbling. The summary of that is that we need more action packed blockbusters about young girls and women and their journey of finding themselves. Also more films about women in general and the portrayal of abused women, angry women, vengeful women without bias (there's been a slight shift in that), also the portrayal of queer women with loving realationships (just imagine a black widow film where Yelena and Natasha weren't sisters but friends to lovers, okay I will stop now).

Finally, this all ties back to the first ever morally grey woman I saw on tv. That's Morgana from BBC's Merlin and of course she is viewed as a villain through our main characters lenses and good vs evil philosophy but she was such an interesting character, both kind and cruel. Just imagine an ending *potential spoilers*of Merlin and Arthur fucking of in the distance to become farmers and be gay together( like please) and Morgana with a*you can't change my mind*heavily queer coded Morgause rule Camelot together with acceptance of magic and a fresh chapter in fantasy and mythology and storytelling . It isn't hard. Of course one would argue this isn't how the original tales go, but this is art, it's fiction based on the Arthurian legends and you can expand and shift them as you desire, in fact you should explore their many sides(which the green knight with dev Patel did really well).

Okay I'm done for real now!

[rosepetalwings]

Azalea - Take Care of Yourself For Me

hope you're alright getting some dessertrune lads :'3

Azalea - Take Care of Yourself For Me

Another late night at the office. Why did it always seem Rouxls had to lag behind to finish up the work of the day?

Hah. As if he needed to ask himself, Rouxls thought bitterly as his fingertips pecked at his keyboard with a stewing ire. Rouxls knew why. Mr. Halberd just liked seeing him squirm. Squirm like a cockroach under his massive, hulking boot. Rex often said it was because he was the best in the office but he and Rex both knew Rouxls was barely more competent than any other fool in the workplace. Hell, he was sure even Jevil could pick at this spreadsheet faster than-

Fuck. Goddamnit...!

There was the ice again. Freezing his stomach first and then creeping up his spine to settle in his lungs and steal the very wind from them.

Rouxls pushed the keyboard away to bury his face in his hands again. The cheap desk's surface frosted over where his elbows rested upon it. He felt so helpless. He felt so... lost.

He felt frozen in place.

"Lesser Dad!!" piped up a small, high voice, spiking above the low hum of the AC unit that still blew cool air into the lonely, dark office space.

"Lancer?"

Rouxls swiveled around to see the young paint-covered boy standing there in the hallway before the his office. Standing (and ignoring the sound of shattering ice), Rouxls approached the small heir.

"Whatte be'est thee doing here?" queried Rouxls, "'Tis thy bedtime, no?"

"Well yeah, but I wanted to show you a project I just finished!" Lancer grinned mischievously as he grabbed Rouxls's chilly hand suddenly, pulling him along. Rouxls was dumbfounded, jogging lightly to keep up with the energetic lad's pace.

"Lancer, I reallie Must keepeth to mine work--"

"It'll take just a second, Lesser Dad! I promise," Lancer said as he directed a big grin towards the fuddy-duddy assistant. Rouxls only sighed as he pushed up his glasses further on his face. The resulting glare in the lenses only served to amplify Rouxls's severe features.

"Fine. Doux maketh it quicke, though."

And so Lancer picked up the pace. Through dimly lit corridors with only screens displaying all manner of corporate platitudes to light their way and across desolate polished tile one could be sure was cleaned hours ago, Rouxls found himself outside in the muggy, uncomfortable heat of the city air, being led over by hand to the factory which produced that-- smoke. The smoke that came from the mouth of Hell.

Sign of the devil; city on fire...

Rouxls was stirred from his thoughts when he noticed that Lancer had finally let go of his hand to run ahead. Jogging after the boy, Rouxls felt the air leave his lungs again as he looked up at the pristine shapes of still-wet color staining the dingy factory building. It was... graffiti. And it was impossible to ignore. Bright and colorful like a snake, its message was of warning, telling those that viewed it to stay far away. To not eat the candy the artist's own father produced.

"Do you like it? You told me not to eat the candy 'cause it wasn't safe so I thought I should tell everyone else! They should get to be safe from the bad candy, too!" Lancer chirped, bouncing on his heels. The hooded boy's peppy demeanor changed though, once he saw the horror on Rouxls's face.

"L... Lancer," Rouxls breathed weakly as he approached the factory wall, placing a hand beside the grafitti, onto the grime-ridden wall. "Thou- ...Y-you can't- do this... This isn't safe for you, either."

"Wh- But... Lesser Dad, it's just paint!!" Lancer insisted, stepping towards his father's assistant. "And I made sure no one could see me! Plus, I'm not gonna get in that much trouble, Greater Dad'll--"

"Lancer... Please..."

Lancer felt his words die in his throat at the fear in Rouxls's voice. Showing genuine emotion, let alone negative emotion, wasn't quite something Lancer was used to seeing from Rouxls.

"I want you... to be safe from harm. But I- I can't protect you from everything..." Rouxls relented quietly. He turned then, new creases in his brow forming as he met Lancer's shocked gaze. "Especially not with- with big, attention-grabbing spectacles like this, Lancer! Do you know what would happen to you if your father knew--"

"I just... wanted to help..."

Looking on at the downcast young boy, Rouxls sighed, beside himself. He crossed the distance between him and Lancer, bending down to envelop Lancer in a tight hug. Lancer hugged back tight, immediately seeking out the comfort of hiding his face in Rouxls's shoulder as he'd done so many times before.

"I know," Rouxls murmured as he pressed his cheek against Lancer's head. "I know you only wanted to help... But you have to help yourself, too... You have to- look out for yourself, too... There's only so much trouble I can keep you out of..."

"It's not fair..." Lancer lamented, tears coming to his eyes and wetting his Lesser Dad's blazer. "Other people should know the candy's not okay to eat... I-it's bad- not telling them, I mean..."

Rouxls forced his eyes shut as if it could keep his own sea of tears at bay, too. He only hugged Lancer closer, then. "...I know... I... I know..." he yielded. Rouxls pressed a feather-light kiss to his son's head, to comfort the lad. Pulling back just a mite, Rouxls moved to wipe away the tears from Lancer's furry cheeks. "But we can do other things to help... In the meantime..."

Lancer sniffed again, nodding. "Okay..." he sighed.

"Okay. Thank you for understanding, Lancer..." Picking the lad up, Rouxls turned back and carried Lancer in the direction of Halberd Inc.'s main offices. Unbeknownst to the high-level assistant, however, the boy whose head laid so adorably against his shoulder only brainstormed of further, subtler ways to get the message out. To save others from eating the candy. Just as his Lesser Dad saved him.

[notachair]

The role of Mobius and reflections of the viewer

Okay so I’ve had this bastard in my draft for forever but since there’s just a few hours left before the Loki series releases I’ve just tried to make this mess of a post a little *less* of a mess just to have the thoughts out there. Since from almost the beginning I had this thought, and I’ve seen others post similar ideas touching upon it since. Also excuse me for all the "we"'s cause that's an assumption I shouldn't make about all. I have no idea what's gonna happen, but here is me trying to explain why I’ve felt uncomfortable about Mobius’ character. Here we go---

Ok so. You know how:

1. Mobius have been referred to as Loki’s biggest fan?

And

2. Mobius is apparently the all-knower of all things Loki?

Also

3. The Loki promos (as far as I watched them and what I’ve gathered from the ones who *have* watched all the promos) seems to be taking TVA’s perspective?

Well, what came to mind is all of this...

That fanfic trope

You know how we in fics often times have other characters learn some about Loki’s past either through actually talking to Loki, by connecting some dots or through a vision, time travel or literally seeing a movie of his life? How we write and read these things cause we see how there are so many things unaddressed and we want the character who’s been so utterly villified (not an excuse for their actions but a commentary about how the hero/villain coding have affected the treatment of the character both in-universe and by the audience/fandom) to be *seen* in their complexity, and have things questioned and not just buy into the coding in the narrative.

We want to explore how in-universe characters would react if they had all that information they’ve been clueless to. It’s one of the reasons at least I assume. Personally I’ve been waiting for someone, just someone that knows or knows of it. Perhaps Thor could bring it up and they could finally have a proper conversation about things that have been mostly brushed over. But there has been no one. Not even one he could truly talk to. Not even one person asking “what happened?”. Personally that’s something I’ve been desiring, and a character with a role like this has been a big trope within the Loki fandom for good reason. Like how do you move forward with the character making meaningful bonds with people and tackling A1 Loki's current issues without *tackling* the past?

We’ve kept seeing Loki being described and moralized through the lenses of someone else. Not through himself (or themself/herself) without the coding taking the side. Someone being able to see these things like as if a movie, is not something in-universe characters have the ability to do. Really that’s the viewers main ability, and here we have a series and a character who’s conviniently been given that ability and power. I feel like that’s the role they’re putting Mobius in. An in-universe character, outside of the Asgardian drama family, who’s very easily gotten access to the same things as us and even more.

The key of this sentence is *more*. Cause that means he’s someone who more or less *knows* all there is to know, he knows more than any other character in the mcu and the audience. And therefore as the Loki-knower, he’ll have the most credibility in his claims. So when we see this character who claims to have studied most of Loki’s life… we see him reacting in ways unexpected and claim things that contradicts what we’ve gathered from people’s hours of dissect and analysis… the negative weight of so many of the interactions I have personally seen... It’s worrying. Since the trailers so far is coloured by Mobius’ lens, this is what the viewer sees, through the coloured lens. He may not feel included to be kind, but marvel should know how the use of that lens is gonna affect people’s views on Loki. It personally feels like I’m being put in my place like «Oh silly, you don’t know Loki as much as you think you do. Mobius is their biggest fan and the all-knower of all things Loki, and he says you’re wrong in your assesment! Loki is really just some shit, even if he’s smart!»

Mobius (/TVA) and Loki

Obviously as humans (?) they won’t feel inclined to be friendly to Loki. Does Mobius think it’s the right way to treat Loki to manipulate him into doing what they/he wants through goading and other means? I don’t believe Loki will feel too inclined to willingly work with people who sees him as untrustworthy, violates and threatens to kill him (deletion, does TVA have the power to like, throw that variant’s paper in the trash and *delete* him from existence that way? I also thought they were earth’s protectors?). But ye I haven’t liked how he’s (and TVA obviously) treated Loki so far and he better change if they’re really supposed to become buddy-cop friends as they say. And referring to him as "the biggest fan" makes one expect more positive takes than the demeaning vibes I had gotten. Their relationship arc was described as «a love story» so that gotta mean they’ll get quite well along in the end won’t they? Btw… they really gotta find other ways to describe those sort of arcs when it’s not actually gonna involve romance…

Also, when I say I don’t like how Mobius talks about Loki, this is not as a “oh no don’t talk bad about my innocent baby;-;-;” and I shouldn’t have to say that. I’m asking for some nuance, something they have afforded others before, but never really seem to allow properly for Loki. I’m asking for the context of the situations to be acknowledged. I mean since the series is gonna take an exploration of self identity and all that, and how they’ve literally been shown to watch moments from Loki’s past (and future in a different time line) and all those papers that had to be signed? I’d expect the past to be addressed in one way in another, and I’m not gonna be happy if context is just fully ignored.

And just a few more thoughts. You know how those papers were everything Loki had ever said? And how that didn’t include what others said or did? I’m wondering in what way Mobius studied most of Loki’s life. Like with both the papers and the Loki cinema, it’s not like he’s actually privy to Loki’s thoughts and motivations? And if Loki didn’t really have any friends or others he felt he could confide in, then :/// to that perspective. Also, do you think Loki’s life is the longest he’s ever had to review before? How long did that take him to view/read *most* of Loki’s life?Even if the TVA is a place out of time, it must have taken him forever! Perhaps it pissed him off so much he idk skipped from the beginning to the most recent stuff.

Apparently the series is gonna be a little bit of a mix between things, and I read a review saying the lense is more neutral? But… yea not trusting some random reviewer.

THIS POST IS A MESS AND I KNOW THAT. BUT I HAD TO GET IT OUT NOW SINCE I’LL SLEEP THROUGH THE RELEASE AND THIS HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS AND I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT. If you read this far, many kudos to you!

[checkerflats]

Haven't been on tumblr in a long time. Felt like this was a decent place to write since nobody I know really uses tumblr anymore. I wanted to talk about my journey over the last few years and tumblr feels private enough a place to do so.

I moved to Florida 3 years ago (well as of this upcoming March) and at first life was decent. I tried to acclimate myself, stay healthy, positive, supportive, etc. At some point during that first year, I became incredibly depressed, nervous, anxious, overwhelmed trying to support myself (I did have a good friend group to help me) but down the line I had convinced myself I had a plan and that it was 'my plan, I thought of it' so instead of talking to the people I cared about and loved, I continued to try to do things in my own way.

A belief is a thought you have that you like. My belief was that I was the only one who could tell me what to do. And I never told myself to shut up and listen to people; realize they're saying what they're saying because they care. I became toxically selfish. I started judging my friends and peers opinions, being an asshole, being inconsiderate to everyone around me, unwilling to talk about my issues (and if I did I sounded like a narcissistic twat), etc.

To make a long story short, I resulted to drinking to cope with my overwhelmed thoughts and feelings. This isnt an excuse. It's just what happened. It in no way makes my behavior acceptable. In fact, anyone who knows me and how I act when drinking changes my thinking patterns would attest that it's only ever made anything worse. Even days or weeks without doing so, it affects me on such a negative level that negativity is the only lense through which I view the world and its inhabitants. I become the definition of nihilistic.

This led me to losing my friends, my loved ones, my job, housing, and ultimately respect from others and respect for myself. It was devastating and I did it to myself. After July of 2019 I started to refrain from drinking and honestly believed I had become the best version of myself. I got a new apartment, job, new friends who have still supported me to this day, albeit, upon making these leisurely friends who wanted to be wild, I felt I should--I wanted to participate. It was fun for a minute, and I was sober for about a month or two..

I'd begun to drink with them every now and then, never alone or at home, never two days in a row. I thought I could be a casual drinker. However, these friends and I stopped drinking for the most part, and begun to do a lot of acid (one thing I wouldn't say is neccesarily bad or addictive, in moderation) and a LOT of xanax. I started to learn a whole new meaning of 'fucked up' and went downhill faster than Jack and Jill could even imagine, baby!

By December, a friend and I decided we'd start doing cocaine. Fuck it, right? That got bad quick. It only lasted about 2 months on and off until we realized how crazy it was and that we needed to actually save our money (and sanity) so we stopped. By this point (March/April of 2020) I'd stopped doing everything other than weed. That inevitably led me straight back to drinking. This time it was everyday again, alone, at home, you get the point. When coronavirus hit I lost my job, couldn't find another anywhere therefore couldnt afford rent, was constantly in scary situations for 2 months (drunk), and decided it was best to GTFO and high tail it back to Ohio by May of 2020.

This took me months to realize, but I had so subtly slipped back into mass depression. Being back in Ohio, around triggers and friends who'd grown apart from me, I felt helpless and alone. I began drinking all the time. When I'd wake up, all throughout my shifts at work, at 2 am once the beers I'd had after work were buzzing off.. I was having the worst thoughts and feelings possible that I won't elaborate on because, again, I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses or even manipulating the perception of whoever might read this. I did this to myself. My behavior was absolutley unacceptable. I'd been put on probation for drinking, I'd been arrested for it even once in my own bed sound asleep (lets not go into how corrupt the law enforcement is in Mansfield, OH). The point is I'd broken the law and, regardless of the circumstances, the law is the law and it comes with consequences.

By October of 2020 I'd agreed that the best case of action was to go to a treatment center for addiction. The center was more or less a joke at first until a counselor committed to actually helping us started working there in mid-November. All in all being sober long enough to get back to a focused, rational, kind state of mind has put me in a euphoric state of content more so than any materialistic or temporary feeling that a substance or whatever else could bring me. Real peace is better than fake, self-driven delusion. I got released from the center today (1/13/21).

What I'm trying to get across is that if it wasnt for those who care for me after all the shit I've put them through, if I hadn't accepted I had a problem and my plan wasnt working, I'd still be that other guy. If you give up your ideals and listen to a 'Higher Power', (a 'God', a group of people as in power in numbers, a spiritual intuition that things happen for a reason and you agree you alone can't solve issues the same way you've tried 1000 times over and failed) whatever your view on that is, if you are willing to change and accept support you will be able to find genuine serenity.

That other guy is still in there. I have to continue working my program daily and catch myself if I slip up, be prepared to tell others, make amends (unless that would make things worse) and by all means listen to their advice in order to turn 4 months of sobriety (even from weed, but this is mostly about drinking) into 4 years, and so on. If you read all this (well first off, thank you, like.. golly!) and you are someone who knows me, then I'm sure that's hard to believe because everyone who knows me has heard me say before that 'I am quitting alcohol!' when in all honestly all those same people probably knew damn well I was just trying to convince them rather than myself and even if I did want to stop, I still had a desire to do it. That's where I can finally cut ties and announce that I, personally to myself, no longer have the desire for alcohol. Today. Right now. One day at a time. I despise it. It took my ambitions and spat them in my face along with my kindness, positivity, all my goals and loved ones like they all meant nothing and I am sick and tired of enabling that feeling. The world we live in is full addiction. Eating, technology, fame, money, power, caffeine, nicotone, sugar, sex, drugs, rock and roll--you get it okay? None of those will bring anything of substantial value or genuine joy. Being selfish will bring nothing but suffering. Be kind and loving. Love is salvation.

Once more, if you read all this, you're a saint and I thank you and hope your life, if not already, becomes (and continues to be) positive, peaceful and great. Love yourself, the best and worst. Face fear head on and never give up. Always lend a hand to those who clearly need it and if they turn it away like I did so many times, all you can do is hope and pray they'll get to the point of acceptance someday. I am so grateful for the oppurtunity I had to turn my life around. I am thankful for every single person who's come and gone and the help they offered before and after I actually admitted it was neccessary. I'll try and be of service to others when and where I can. Stay safe, world.

-cone

[lover-of-skellies]

And Then There Was One

a blurb I wrote for adult!Mal, inspired by this epic cover version of “The Final Countdown” that I found on youtube :P

Her eye lights scanned the area around her once more, taking in the cracked earth, toppled buildings, and destruction. The smoke. The blood. The monster dust. The smell of death hung in the air around her, and she made a face, disgusted. From the other side of the makeshift battle field, the guardian of negativity watched her, visibly amused at the position she’d been left in. To her right, Necro’s body laid broken on the ground, his eye lights extinguished as Zerif clutched him to his chest, ignoring his own injuries as he frantically tried to heal those of his partner, lime green tears dripping down his face. To her left, Lucky was on the ground as well, lying on his side. He wasn’t moving and there were no signs of his eye lights returning anytime soon, but at least he hadn’t begun turning to dust yet.

Ink’s body was also lying nearby, beaten down and broken into multiple pieces in a puddle of black ink. Dream laid near him, just barely conscious and unable to move. Template was nowhere in sight, though his pen had been broken in half and was carelessly tossed aside. His glasses were also broken, their lenses cracked horribly as they rested not far from the broken pen. 

Nightmare’s side had also sustained casualties though as well; Axe had been knocked aside, hitting his head in the process and falling limp. Asy was also lying on the ground, his straitjacket coated by a thin layer of dust and clear stains from both grass and blood. Dust had also been taken out; he was still conscious, but much like Dream, he couldn’t move. Not a single inch. Killer was still very much present and able to fight, minus the fact that he’d managed to lose an arm, and half of his skull was cracked. While Error casually perched on a tree branch to watch the battle until it was deemed necessary for him to get involved, Nightmare himself stood, his hands in his jacket pockets as he narrowed his one visible socket and arched a single brow bone, silently challenging Mal to continue fighting. He’d known her since she was just a mere child, so of course he was confident that there was nothing she could do to surprise him.

The female skeleton in question stood, her body rigid as she curled her hands down into fists by her sides, narrowing her sockets and sporting a look of sheer hatred and resentment as she gazed back and the goop covered guardian, his eye lights also briefly flickering back and forth between Error and Killer as well. A bead of blue tinted sweat slowly rolled down the side of her face as she let out a deep breath, her chest feeling heavy as she called out to her last remaining companion, “...Fresh. I’ve got one last thing I need your help with.”

A portal opened behind her and the nineties nightmare peered through it. He was immediately aware of the numerous bodies scattered along the field, but chose to ignore them in favor of responding to his friend, “Yeah, Sparky? Whatcha need?” Mal felt a pang of regret course through her and she frowned, “I need you to take them to Geno. Then from there, I want them taken to ReaperTale. They should be safe there, right?” Fresh tilted his head, also frowning once the realization dawned on him, “For a while, yeah. Don’t tell me you’re gonna do what I think you are though. Please. You have them ta think about too, ya know? I’m not good w’kids or anythin’ either, an’ I don’t wanna have ta explain ta them where their ma is when ya don’t come back from this.” Mal scoffed, glancing over her shoulder to shoot a glare in his direction, “If you really think I plan on dying here, you’re an idiot.”

From within the portal, two small voices could be heard, “Mom?” “Mommy, is that you?” Mal’s expression softened as she looked back at the portal, a human child with golden blonde hair peeking at her from behind Fresh while a second child, a small, rather fragile skeleton, darted through the portal to cling to her. Immediately kneeling on the ground and wrapping her arm around the child, she pressed a kiss to the top of their skull before looking to the second child and offering him a sad smile, extending a hand to him, “Come here, Avalon. I need to tell you something.” Though he was nervous, the child did as he was asked, stepping through the portal and going to his mother, now also clinging to her. 

Mal pressed another kiss to the second child’s head, sighing softly as she began speaking softly to both of them, “Things… might not look too good right now. For anyone. But I promise you, everything will be ok again soon. I’ll come get you, then we can all go home. For now though, I need you to go with Fresh. He’s going to take you to see Geno, then the four of you are gonna go on a trip together. Somewhere new that you haven’t been before.” Avalon tightened his grip on her shirt ever so slightly, his voice cracking, “You promise you’re gonna be ok, mama?” She offered him a reassuring smile, gently ruffling his hair, “Yes, Lonnie, I promise. Here,” she paused, holding up a fist with only her pinky still held straight, “should we make it a pinky promise? Would that be better?” Smiling slightly, Avalon lifted a hand, wrapping his pinky around hers to complete the promise, “Uh huh.” 

She laughed softly, hugging him a hair bit tighter before sighing, “You’re a good kid, you know that? Always so strong and brave, always such a big helper.” The child smiled at the praises, trying to snuggle even closer to her, and with a heavy heart, she continued after a brief moment of silence, “I love you, ok? So, so much… with my whole soul. I will come for you once this is over.” Feeling him tighten his grip on her again, she hummed, gently pulling back from him just enough to delicately cup his face as she met his gaze, giving him another smile in hopes of offering even a little reassurance, “Hey, everything will be ok, I promise. Have I ever lied to you before?” Avalon shook his head, his voice soft, “No, I don’t think so.” Mal chuckled, leaning slightly closer to whisper to him, “Exactly. Now, go back to Fresh. If you get scared, him and Geno will be there for you, ok?”

The child nodded, leaning closer to kiss his adoptive mother’s cheekbone, “Ok… I love you, mama.” The skeleton felt tears prick at the edge of her sockets, but in fear of upsetting her child, she blinked them back, forcing out another smile as she sighed, “I love you too, Avalon. And I always will.” Avalon, though very clearly reluctant to part from her, slipped from her grasp, and she watched him as he slipped back through the portal and clung to Fresh’s jacket.

She turned her attention back to the first child, offering them a soft smile and mumbling, “And then there was one.” The skeleton child smiled weakly, one of their eye lights shifting into the shape of a tear drop. Seeing the familiar shape, Mal’s smile became a frown and she gently touched their face, stroking their cheekbone with her thumb and whispering, “Baby, hey… don’t look at me like that. Everything will be ok, I promise. I swear on my soul, even, that things’ll go back to normal soon. We just have to be patient.” The child frowned, their gaze flickering over to where the three remaining enemies stood, before looking back at their mother, “Mom?... How do you know it’ll be ok?... Everything… Everything here doesn’t look like it’ll ever get better.” Mal hummed, smiling weakly, “I just do, I guess. You could even say I feel it in my bones.”

The child snorted, trying to hide a small smile, and Mal tilted her head, feeling a tad bit more at ease now. The magic shifted in the air and she froze, looking up to see Killer beginning to approach her and her child, his knife drawn. She was immediately on her feet at that, one arm protectively nudging her child behind herself as she glared at Killer, her sockets narrows as she frowned, “Killer, back the hell off right now. You are not to get any closer to my kid and I.” The skeleton arched a brow bone and chuckled, a black tar-like substance dripping down his face as he smirked, “Yeah? And just what are you gonna do to stop me?” Scoffing at the arrogance in his tone, she used her free hand, touching her fingertips to the edge of one of her sockets and producing blue threads. 

With a flick of her wrist, the threads were quick to shoot toward Killer. Despite only having one arm, he sliced through them and continued on toward her, and she hissed, “Last chance, shit for brains. Back off, and maybe I’ll be nice about how I kill you.” He continued on toward her, his head tilting again in interest as the child peeked out from behind Mal, their sockets widened in fear. Seeing the look they wore, Killer grinned widely, “That’s a cute kid you got there, Mal. I’m a little hurt that you haven’t introduced me to them yet.” Mal took a single step back, her child following her movements. As red magic surrounded the child’s soul, one of their eye lights shifted into an exclamation mark and they called out, their tone soaked with alarm, “Mom?! Mom, what’s going on?” 

Glancing back and seeing Killer’s magic enveloping her child’s soul, Mal’s eyes briefly widened in fear before they narrowed and her eye lights extinguished. Whirling around to face Killer again, her blue threads gradually became a vibrant shade of crimson and shot toward him, and she roared, “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY CHILD, YOU BASTARD.” Not expecting to see her threads become crimson, Killer momentarily froze, giving the threads just enough time to wrap around his neck vertebrae. And then he was soaring through the air, the threads searing hot as they cut into his neck. Mal’s child hid their face in her shirt as her threads released Killer, causing him to fly directly at Error, successfully knocking the black skeleton off his perch.

The crimson threads faded from view and Mal took a deep breath to calm herself before turning to face her child, removing her black and white striped scarf and draping it over their shoulders, offering them a sad smile, “You need to go, baby, it’s not safe here. I’ll come get you after this is over, I promise.” The child touched her scarf, pastel rainbow tinted tears pricking at their sockets as they whimpered, “Mom… you promise you’ll come back? You won’t die, right?...” As the tears began to roll down their cheekbones, Mal frowned, dark blue tears beginning to drip from hers before they transformed into more threads. She let out a shaky breath and hugged her child tightly, “I swear to you, Pastel, I won’t die. Not here, not to losers like these guys. As long as I have you waiting for me, I’ll always come back. I mean… that’s what moms do, right?” Pastel sniffled, their one eye light becoming the shape of a broken heart as they whimpered again, “Uh huh… I guess so.” 

She smiled weakly, kissing Pastel’s face and mumbling to them, “I love you so much, ok?... You and your brother are my whole world.” Pastel nodded, rubbing at their sockets with the back of their hand, “I love you too, mom… You’re so strong and cool. If you come back, can you show me how to be like you?” Mal sighed, chuckling softly, “Love, there’s no need for that. You’re already as strong and cool as me. Maybe even more. Now, you gotta get going. When you see Geno, give him a hug for me, ok? And if it makes you feel any better, you can tell Reaper that your mom’s gonna come kick his butt later, too.” Unable to help it, Pastel pressed a hand over their mouth and giggled, earning an affectionate smile from Mal. Though she really didn’t want to, she parted from her child and gently nudged them toward the portal. Fortunately, they went without any sort of argument or hesitation, and as the portal closed behind them, she let out a sigh of relief.

Now that her children were gone, she could finally focus her attention on Error and Nightmare. Judging by Killer’s position on the ground, she guessed that he wouldn’t be getting up anytime soon… or ever again, for that matter.

Nightmare and Error looked at each other, seeming to communicate in silence, and Mal watched them intently, her threads at the ready. Whatever they planned to throw at her, she’d be ready. 

Error’s body glitched and he vanished from sight, reappearing only a matter of feet away from her, his own blue threads drawn. Mal instinctively took a step back and used her threads to block an attack, and Error raised a single brow bone, deciding to question her, “You’re really gonna entrust your disgusting little glitches to that parasite? Geez, and here I thought you were smarter than that. You know, Nightmare’s good with kids. You would’ve been better off handing them over to us.” Mal let out a low growl, blocking another attack, “Like hell I’d ever do that. Fresh might be a parasite, but he’s still a better choice than two dudes with a massive little dick complex.” 

Error flinched, suddenly scowling at her, “Yeah? And just what does that mean?” Seeing that she’d provoked a reaction from the black skeleton, Mal smirked, “Come on, do I really have to spell it out for you? It means exactly what you think it does.” The elder of the two frowned, letting out a startled yelp as a row of scarlet bones whizzed past him, grazing the side of his skull. In the split second that his attention had shifted to the scarlet bones, Mal’s body glitched heavily as her threads grasped the tree he’d just been resting at, and proceeded to uproot it. The tree toppled over, and seeing the it was heading right for him, Error’s frown shifted into an amused grin, his threads slicing through its trunk with ease. He turned and shot more thread at Mal, and remembering how he’d essentially threatened her children, she narrowed her sockets at him

Her blue threads intercepted his attack, wrapping around his to form a large knot. Seeing that his threads had been caught, Error froze, unsure what to do. Mal’s gaze darkened as she offered him an almost manic looking grin, “Oh yeah, that’s right… You’re haphephobic, aren’t you?” His sockets widened for a brief moment before narrowing as he scowled at her again, “Don’t you dare.” Eye lights constricted into the size of mere pin pricks, Mal’s smile widened further and she suddenly jerked Error forward. She focused the majority of her magic on one of her hands, clenching it into a fist, and once the black skeleton was close enough, she hissed, “Gotcha, glitch bitch.” Her fist struck the underside of his jaw, and even though it’d lasted no longer than a couple seconds, his sockets filled with errors and he fell backward, his body glitching heavily as he began to reboot. 

Riding the pleasant high she’d gotten from her small victory over Error, she failed to notice the goop covered guardian lash out with one of his tentacles. As it wound around one of her arms, she was suddenly flung to the side. Just when she thought she was able to right herself before she’d had the chance to take any damage, Nightmare appeared much closer to her, one hand snagging one of her wrists while two tendrils wrapped around her arm again. There was a loud crack and she screamed, crying out in pain, all of the magic she’d been using almost instantly vanishing from view. 

Nightmare released her, a sickening, malicious grin on his face as he carelessly tossed her arm aside. Her body trembling as she winced and began trying to get up again, she let out a broken sob, yelping as the corrupted guardian stood beside her and roughly shoved her back down, a tendril pinning her in place. As a second tendril began wrapping around her good arm, Nightmare tilted his head and purred, “Even after all these years, it looks like you haven’t gotten any stronger… What a damn shame that is. Since you seem to need your hands for all those fancy string tricks of yours, I think I’ll be ridding you of them now.” Mal released another choked out sob, her mind flickering back to her children. She cycled through more memories of them, and all of a sudden, Nightmare recoiled, his tentacle immediately releasing her. 

She was momentarily confused by this, but then the reason for his change in behavior became clear as day; her memories were positive, and had evoked positive feelings from her in turn. She’d hurt Nightmare without even doing anything. 

Sitting on and clutching her bare shoulder joint, she closed her eyes, a small smile settling on her face as she began cycling through more happy memories. Nightmare hissed, very rapidly becoming enraged as he shouted, “STOP THAT. WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING, STOP IT NOW.” She chose to ignore him, focusing on her memories again; back when she’d visited the human world and found Avalon, wrapped in dirty bath towels and alone, abandoned on the doorsteps of an orphanage. She remembered how eagerly he’d accepted her help despite their obvious differences, and how quickly he’d become attached to her. She recalled all the things they’d done together, her smile slowly widening. As her memories slowly wandered to Pastel, Nightmare roared, a tendril lashing out at her again. She felt the rush of air, but the hit never actually came, and she opened her eyes, shocked to see Dream now standing up, completely healed.

Mal stared at him in disbelief, and he offered her a small smile, explaining softly, “Your positivity… was a lot more abundant that you thought, huh? It was enough to completely restore my HP and give me a bit of a boost.” She blinked, worry flickering in her gaze as she glanced back toward Error. Correcting her before she had the chance to panic and experience any negative feelings again, Dream cut in, continuing to speak, “Don’t worry. Error will be out for a while still, and as long as you think you could talk some sense into Zerif, the two of you could start healing the others. I already sent out a distress signal, and until our backup arrives, all we have to do is keep Nightmare busy. I can handle him on my own though, so you have nothing to worry about, I promise.” Mal let out a shaky breath, smiling up at him, “God, you’re so awesome sometimes, y’know that? If I was in better shape, I might actually kiss you.” 

A yellow blush dusted across Dream’s cheekbones and he laughed softly, smiling at her, “Yeah, there’s no need for that, I assure you. Just go to Zerif and get his head back in the game, and I’ll deal with Night, ok? You think you can do that?” Mal nodded, taking Dream’s hand as it was offered to her, and pulling herself up, “Yeah, I can do that, don’t even worry about it.” Dream made a soft sound of acknowledgement, watching to make sure she reached Zerif without any sort of difficulties before he returned his attention to Nightmare, who was very visibly feeling less than happy at the revelation that his brother was up and functioning again. Though Nightmare was tense and completely rigid with stress, Dream was almost completely relaxed; from here on out, it’d be pretty much the same old song and dance they’d had going throughout the years. Nothing new, and entirely too predictable. 

As soon as the backup arrived and all the casualties were dealt with, Mal would be able to return to her children. Dream was almost disappointed that he wouldn’t be there to see the reunion, because he already knew it’d be beautiful. More than likely full of tears, but still beautiful nonetheless.

[wild-aloof-rebel]

By no means do I want to invite discourse onto your blog, so please do not feel at all obligated to answer, but I was wondering what you thought of the titular happy ending. Obviously, it's sparked a lot of debate, and your takes are always so compassionate and articulate and insightful. Have a lovely evening regardless, and thank you for everything you've contributed to this fandom!

a few things to start… first of all, thank you for asking this in such a non-confrontational way. i haven’t seen much of whatever debates are happening as most of it has managed to stay out of my inbox this time thankfully (i hope i’m not jinxing myself by responding to this lol), though i feel like i can assume the shape of some of the broad strokes of it. i say that just to mean that this shouldn’t be taken in any way as a response to any particular posts/people but just as my general thoughts on the ep. and of course, as i always try to remind everyone, my opinion certainly isn’t the only one that matters, and everyone is entitled to feel however they feel about this (or any other) plot line on the show. i’m certainly not the be-all, end-all of schitt’s creek opinions, nor do i want to be.

anyway, let’s talk about the happy ending…

the first thing i do any time that there’s something on the show that seems to throw people off in some way is to take a step back and try to think about what that particular scene/plot was trying to accomplish. and honestly, the first goal of the show is always that it wants to make you laugh. it’s a comedy. while it means a lot to those of us who love it so deeply and have watched it so carefully, and while there are certainly moments–more and more frequently throughout the years–of great depth and heart and drama, it is still at its core a comedy, and some scenes are really just meant to be a laugh and not hold some kind of earth-shatteringly deep revelation, and i honestly think this is one of them. 

i mentioned in some of my speculation earlier this season that i thought we (def including myself there) were in danger of trying to connect too many plots in a way that the show historically hasn’t really done, and i think that some of the negative reactions to this may be the same kind of thing, that we sometimes take things too seriously on a show where historically most of the plots of most of the eps aren’t really meant to be that serious. think about “love letters” for instance. so many people were (and still are) upset about how patrick reacts to the robbery, and sure, i get that he could have been nicer and considered that david and stevie didn’t know the robber didn’t actually have a weapon and that they were frightened, etc etc etc. but also, it’s a comedy. it wasn’t supposed to be some kind of treatise on the right and wrong ways to respond to traumatic situations; it was supposed to be funny and that’s that. the characters clearly have moved on by the next time we see them–david doesn’t seem to be harboring some kind of resentment for the way that patrick responded–and we shouldn’t take it any more seriously than they do. 

the show is actually really good at telling us what’s serious and what isn’t, if we just listen to it, and it’s definitely telling us this particular plot isn’t meant to be That Serious. patrick, despite having his understandable initial wtf kind of moment about it, has already by the end of the scene accepted that it was a miscommunication (and one of his own making at that–i mean he does leave the cash and the note, plus he tells david specifically before he leaves that “it’s all taken care of and i’ve told them we need you calm today, so just let them do their job,” so he recognizes once he starts thinking about it just how david could have thought this was what he intended to happen), and he’s already thinking about how some day down the road it’s just going to be yet another story that’s part of their history. he’s clearly still excited and happy when we get to the wedding. he obviously still chooses to marry david that day. so while any of us personally may have reacted differently in this situation, the show is telling us that patrick ultimately isn’t particularly bothered by what happened, that this isn’t supposed to be taken as some kind of serious, make-or-break moment in their relationship. it’s really just supposed to be funny–something to help break up the heavier emotions of the episode. now we may personally disagree on whether or not we actually find it funny, but that seems to be most of the intent either way.

if you do want to take it somewhat more seriously though (because i mean that’s what we do in fandom right? lolol), i think you have to look at it in the context of what this season has been trying to accomplish with their relationship. season 4 is all about those tentative first steps of falling in love. season 5 builds on that to give us all these hallmark relationship moments. season 6 then lets us see what life looks like when the romance isn’t quite as new, when you’ve found enough safety in each other to allow yourself to be seen at less than your best, to make mistakes, to disagree, to explore, to fight when you need to, to know that you can get it wrong sometimes because your partner will always be there to catch you if you fall, because you’ll fall together and pick each other back up, again and again. that’s what love looks like long-term. that’s what marriage looks like. and that’s what this season has given us a taste of.

for example, david, though he’s embarrassed by The Incident, still comes back to patrick’s apartment at the end of the day, allowing himself to be more fully seen (and thus more fully loved) in the light of patrick’s understanding. patrick, who we know has struggled with always trying to make himself be the person other people want him to be–the perfect boyfriend, the perfect son–lets himself crack open a bit, allowing those truer, messier emotions to spill out, letting david actually see his frustration about the spray tan because he knows by now that it won’t scare him away. in these ways and more, season 6 is about how love goes beyond romance, how it builds a space where we can be our true selves, how there’s a stability in that which takes time for you to build together. if something like this had happened earlier on in their relationship, i could see it being A Big Obstacle for them, but at this point, it’s barely even a bump in the road, already well on its way to being a funny anecdote they’ll trot out years on down the road, when they’ve both had a bit too much wine at one of their monthly dinner parties with their friends, the two of them talking over each other as they compete to tell it better. they’re solid enough that a miscommunication like this isn’t going to derail them. 

like dan said to entertainment weekly, their relationship is “founded on something much deeper, much more substantial, much more respectful… their sex life [is not] something that is always what’s defining loyalty in their lives.” and while that may not be how some of us feel about our own sex lives and the role of sex as it relates to loyalty or intimacy within our own relationships, it is pretty clear at this point that for david and patrick, sex can just be sex sometimes. they were obviously interested in entertaining the possibility of a threesome with jake earlier this season, and as david points out in that episode, jake is the perfect candidate for something like that because there will be no emotional intimacy tied to it with him. the same thing goes here. there is no threat to the intimacy and stability of david and patrick’s relationship because of this mishap, so ultimately it’s something that’s easy for both of them to just wave away.

and that’s really what i feel like a lot of the disagreement probably comes down to at the end of the day, too–for a lot of us, this wouldn’t be so easy to wave away. we all have our own lenses through which we view the world, which means that when we see other people’s relationships, fictional or not, we tend to judge them based on our own standards. and while that certainly might mean that whatever is happening may not be something we want in our own relationships, it doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily wrong for whomever is actually in them. it’s tempting to put our own views of sexuality, loyalty, monogamy, happiness, whatever onto david and patrick’s relationship, but at the end of the day, what actually matters is how they view their own relationship, and the show is telling us that they’re both happy with exactly where they are. so many of us see something of ourselves in one or both of them, and so seeing them make a choice that we ourselves might not make can be a hard thing to reconcile, but it still doesn’t make it the wrong choice for them. 

ultimately if david and patrick both are clearly happy in their relationship and don’t view this as a big deal, who am i to say otherwise?

[brokemylegflippingthefirewall]

*This is absolutely a fic promotion, but plz hear me out on the discourse part too

So, self inserts and original characters, the worst fanfic catgeory (fanfiction.net literally says that in one of its fic groupings, and I'm pretty sure the number of views on any fanfic website says the same).

TLDR- Yes, I agree that this stereotype carries truth, but I do think SIs and OCs have more potential to be explored, and the stigma surrounding these labels is blocking that. And oh god I just want to know so badly if this is the deal with the work I'm currently writing or if I genuinely just can't write well.

The longer version- (this was written quite late into the night/ I'm in Singapore/, and might not be so well organized, I apologize for that.)

To what extent is this stigma "justified"? I mostly use AO3 for reading fics, and when I see the OC/SI tag, the thing is....I came to look for fics about canon characters and might not have the wish to invest my time in taking in a new character. I understand that most people who read fanfiction would feel the same. This, I think, is more or less justified. If you came to look for a certain canon character/relationship, and you don't want to get invested in any OCs, then of course the OC/SI tag isn't for you.

But... I think that's about it. Bcs here's the thing,

1. Using the OC/SI format does NOT automatically make the fic worse in quality. Hell, I'm not even sure if the statistical "fact" that these tags generate the worst fics is true. Judging from what I've read in the tma fandom and my other past fandoms, the stuff with OC/SI isn't inherently worse or better than the rest of the fics. There are ones that are pretty normal in writing quality, and the ones where the prose is rly good, others where plot design stands out etc. Of course, there is a lot of wish fulfillment and the like, but... there's also a lot of that in fics that write about canon characters.

2. I can't really say whether a wish fulfillment "I just want to write cool scenes/fluff" fic is better or worse than a more serious fic that explores some characterization or plot point. I think stories (all stories, books, fanfic, myths, everything) exist to entertain us and make us feel things. I am not sure if writing a feel good story is any less meaningful than writing a story that brings people "deeper" thoughts and makes them feel good in some other way. And this isn't even the issue at hand, because fundamentally, writing an OC/SI or not doesn't determine what the content is about. I agree that a larger proportion of OC/SI fics tend to be more on the lighthearted side, but... so is most of the content consumed in the other tags. Readers don't seem to have a problem with feel good stories/fix it fics etc when there is no OC or SI, so I don't see why that type of fic paired with an OC/SI should be considered any less "meaningful".

3. Guys/gals, what is an OC/SI?

Yes, it is very personal, and it is very wish fulfillment, but... isn't that like a common literature thing...like in general? Look at the works that "real writers" publish, from contemporary to the classics, which writer doesn't write about themselves? Like, just off the top of my head, Les Miserables, Marius? Um, Dante's Inferno? (and that guy did not self insert into some random thing he straightup went for the Christian Canon😂 used his real name too, so Jonny I guess if you feel awkward about your MCs name you can think of Dante//Jk). But seriously, self insert and wish fulfillment is a big part of literature itself, and while there are things to be said about these tropes, if people don't have that much of a problem with them in other literature, I don't see why fanfic OC/SIs shouldn't be treated the same.

4. in relation to the last point. More specifically...

I do think that a lot of fanfiction which write about the original characters are also OC/SIs to different extents. I've read fics that depict pairings where the author and readers project heavily onto one (or more) of the characters. I've read stuff where the author uses a minor character to explore the established world building/character dynamics and it's clear that it's an SI but with the appearance of being a canon character (and yes it gets tons more views than one that's written as SI). How do I know this? Because I am one of those readers who project onto those characters, and I know why I read those fics, I know why I like them. It's because I can self insert, and feel like I am part of the story, part of the world. Isn't that something most people want to do? I mean, Universal Studios? Specific franchise themed museums? COSPLAY??? Of course that's not all there is to engaging with a story, but what's the shame in wanting to be a part of an already established world building, or want to love a wonderfully designed character? (slight tangent, but if u feel like it's bcs ur not as interesting/cool as the story's world or other characters appear to be then I can tell you with certainty that's not true. You are very interesting and cool and absolutely deserve to be part of a fantasy world.) Isn't that a big part of why "real literature" is written and read as well? So... what's the problem with being like, okay, I'm just gonna insert myself into the world now, through this original character? Of course, I'm not asking for people who prefer to write strictly in canon characters to change that. What I mean to say is, writing it in the form of an OC/SI, doesn't make it a lot different from other fics, or hell, from classic literature even.

I think a potential problem might be the feeling that you are taking too much creative liberty with something that is established canon, by having your own character directly interact with it. But, um, can't the same thing be said if you take a canon character, and then proceed to project heavily onto them? Like, a big part of why I don't feel comfortable writing just canon characters is that I know I'm clearly projecting and it feels awkward to rewrite an already established character to explore my own thoughts/desires. I would rather just straightup design a new character. (this is all just personal feelings, I haven't thought enough about this to make any kind of argument here. And of course, the main reason is I can't trust myself to write canon characters that don't ooc in some way so having one as my protag might kill me with my own awkwardness. )

5. the potential.

Now this is looking far ahead because I'm not sure how much our current system for distribution of knowledge & copyright can allow it. But damn. The OC/SI thing has a lot of potential. There is one thing that makes it different from writing in canon characters, and that is the way it opens up a clear space for you to add your own experience into the story. When exploring your own world view through the lense of an already established world, or vice versa, so much can be revealed about both, perhaps even bringing to light aspects of the narrative the author hadn't previously seen. We all know this feeling, it's when we ramble on about one of our stories or worlds to a friend, and they point something out, and we're like ooooh that makes a lot of sense but I hadn't thought about it before. Yea, like those moments. Stories are generally made more interesting by their interaction with many different perspectives/experiences. With OC/SI it straightup allows you to be like, okay, I'm going to engage my own experience with this fictional world/character now. I mean, isnt that also a large part of how fanfics work in general? Readers/writers bouncing symbols and experiences off each other in the form of stories? Reading about the various interpretations of canon stuff? Whats the problem with tagging it as it is? I'm just thinking about the fics that could have been written as OC/SI and explored the story in some fascinating way which weren't written at all or were discontinued bcs the number of views discouraged those authors. (I feel that with my current work as well, though I have already written half of it and the remaining half is too juicy to give up so I'll probably be completing it)

6. conclusion, sorta

I guess what I want for OC/SO fics is just the same treatment as everything else. Saw it in the tags you were searching for? Look at the teaser. Do you find it interesting? No, then very well. Yes, then click in and take a look. Do you like the writing style? Are you getting into the narrative?... etc. You know, like, same standards you would have for any other kind of fic. Not feeling like you want to read about a new character? Cool, no problem at all, click away. But I do not think that the current difference in number of views is just based on whether readers are interested in reading about a new character or not. In fact, that's what I want it to be. Show me that "true" difference, the one without the stigma behind it, because, as the same goes for every kind of stigmatized community, you're not receiving the proportionate amount of positive feedback, but what's worse is you can't even trust the criticism you receive. If no one engages, or someone gives a negative feedback, how am I supposed to know if it's because my writing is bad? or my teaser wasn't interesting? or my character was badly written/designed? Or if it was to a certain extent, bcs of the stigma? I do want criticism, of course I do, it's the first step to every improvement, and I would love it if I could get feedback that I can trust. (and this brings us to the truely "oppressed" community of the fanfic world, the people who write very good but cant write interesting teasers//jk)

7. the entirely skippable straw man rant part, also the expression of my love for The Magnus Archives.

some straw man: if you like writing your own characters so much, why not just write your own story entirely? and publish it?

You think I'm not annoyed about that? Here's the thing, I LIKE THIS WORLD I READ FROM THIS BOOK/SOME OTHER FORM OF MEDIA OR WHATEVER, I like it, it's brilliant, I want to write for it, about it, be in it, think about it, read about it, engage in whatever way I can. I CAN'T just "go write my own." And who do you think is more annoyed about not being able to publish the stuff? (According to you) I have written something that is potentially publishable (thank you btw I know you don't exist and is a strawman I invented just now but I've gotta get my compliments where I can//Jk), and I can't publish it in any potentially big way (and rightfully not) because I have no copyright over the characters. I worked hard to design my character, to make the plot meaningful, and to study the original canon plot and characters so that it would all fit together (I mean, partially bcs I can't force myself to sit down and write sth that is any less complex), and I can't actually publish it where more people will read it. And of course, on top of that, even less people will feel like reading once that "original character" tag is up. Does it look like I would be here if I could "just write my own"?

(slight tangent but come on what even is "your own"? how many classic European lit books were just fanfics of each other which were all just fanfics of the Bible or Greek mythology or sth? Stories and symbols have no boundaries it's the economic system that drew those.)

Damn this got way longer than I thought and it's morning now😂 guess I ran out of space to actually promote my fic, might have to do that in a seperate post then. But to anyone who actually read up to here, I'm so sorry for wasting your time no but srsly thanks for reading all of these jumbled thoughts, and good luck with whatever you are working on at the moment, I know you're probably working on something if you're reading through these tags. And of course good luck to the tma folk we're gonna face the end together🙏. good night (I should rly go to sleep now😂)

[spider-manholland]

I Am Delicate | Peter Parker

part five of the mending hearts mini-series

Pairing(s): Ex!Peter Parker x Female Reader, Peter Parker x Michelle Jones, Brad Davis x Female Reader

Warning(s): angst, swearing, mentions of sex, Far From Home spoilers

Summary: Sometimes it takes losing the person you once loved to make you realize how much they still mean to you.

Requested by @decaffeinated-turtle

Masterlist

The argument Peter had with you was still running through his mind, his hands clenching into fists as his blood began to boil.  He swore he never felt himself get this angry and frustrated before but now here he was, cursing internally as he gripped on his brown curls tightly.  

Well the Peter I knew wouldn't have hurt me like you have.  Your words echoed inside his head, scoffing when he opened him and Ned’s shared hotel room’s door and stepped inside.  Its wasn't like he purposely meant to hurt you, and he can't help his feelings, he can’t control them they just develop.  But there was a part of him that blamed himself for that argument, he was technically the reason it started in the first place.  He shouldn't have been nosy but he couldn't help himself, the sight of a hickey on your chest, one that he didn't leave was weird. But you two weren't together anymore and he had to accept that.  Hell, he was the reason for your relationship ending.  He just didn't why seeing you, picturing you with Brad made him all.....angry.

He knew that since you two weren't together anymore it would only be a matter of time before you found someone else, but he didn't know why it bothered him so much.  He likes MJ, like really likes her.  He just had to accept the fact that you’d be--Brad’s and hopefully MJ will be his-

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Spider-Man.” Peter froze in his spot at the sudden mysterious voice, turning his head to see none of than Nick Fury sitting in the corner of his room, his single eye staring him down.

“You’re Nick Fury.” Peter spoke, his voice low as he stared at him with wide-eyes, closing the door softly. “W-What are you doing in my hotel room?”

“Go put your suit,” was the only thing Fury said before standing up from where he was seating, causing Peter to tilt his head up to meet his eye level. “We need to talk.”

- - -

Why? Peter leaned against the side of the hotel’s building, his hands and feet stuck to wall as he closed his eyes, sighing. Why did Nick Fury have to sabotage my summer vacation? Why do I have to save the world? Why me?

After taking a few calming breaths, Peter continued climbing up the wall of the building until he got to his hotel room’s window. And just as he was about to climb through it, he couldn’t help but spot a familiar face through his lenses standing up on the roof. You.  Peter could immediately notice the redness in your eyes, meaning that you were recently crying.

It’s all your fault she’s like this, his mind reminded him as he began to feel guilt eat him all over again.  You're the reason she is crying.

Peter just...watched as you stood there, staring into the distance of the beautiful city.  As he stayed there, stuck against the wall, Peter found himself slowly climbing his way up past his room’s window to you.  But just as he was about to appear in front of you, a male’s voice was then heard, a voice that made Peter’s blood instantly boil, belonging to none other than Brad Davis.  

“Hey,” you whipped your head away from the view of the breathtaking city to face whoever spoke, cracking a small smile at the sight of Brad who was standing by the doorway of the rooftop’s entrance.  “Hey,” you greeted back, returning your attention back to the city as Brad walked over and stood next to you.  “Betty told me you were up here.  You okay?”

Peter could feel himself getting even more angry at the sound of Brad’s caring voice.  Why was he so concerned about you?  He doesn't even know you.  Peter knew he shouldn't be listening in your guys’ conversation but he couldn't help himself.  He could hear his inner self telling him, yelling at him to go back to his room and sleep but his curiosity got the better of him so he stayed, and listened to everything.

“I’m fine,” you just shrugged, feeling yourself frown.  “Me and Peter just had some stupid fight that’s all.”

“Oh,” Brad nodded, leaning his body forward and resting his arms on the railing.  “What did you guys fight about?  If you don't mind me asking.”  You turned to face him, not answering, and when Brad saw you raise your brows he knew, smirking.  “Oh, never mind.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, also leaning forward against the railing.  “The entire argument was just so stupid.” You let out an exasperated groan, running your hands frustrating through your hair.  “He had no right to get angry about you and I sleeping together-”

“We actually didn’t sleep together.” Brad quickly corrected, chuckling at the unimpressed look he got from you.  “You know what I mean.” You rolled your eyes, “He was the one that ended things with me, not the other way around.  And he’s here, on this trip trying to get with the girl he broke up with me for but gets angry when I try to move on.  It’s just not fair.”

“Do you hate him?” Brad asked after a brief silence that filled between you two.  Peter could feel his heart stop and drop into the pit of his stomach at Brad’s question, his mind filled with many different negative thoughts.  Did you hate him?  Peter wanted to climb back down and into his room, not wanting to hear your answer but he couldn't, he needed to know if you did.

“I want to.” You answered honestly, feeling the invisible weights lift off your shoulders.  “I really really want to but I can’t.” You shook your head, feeling tears prick your eyes.  “No matter how bad Peter hurts me I can never hate him.  He’s done so much for me, more than anyone has ever had.  And after everything he’s been through-” your mind drifting towards everything that Peter suffered through for the past eight months.  Coming back after missing for five years and losing Tony Stark just after, the man that took him under his guidance and became the only father figure he had left in his life.  “-he deserves happiness.” You voice cracked.

“Even if that means sacrificing your own?” Brad asked, frowning when you just nodded your head, refusing to say anything because you knew that the moment you opened your mouth you would break down.  “Hey, come here.”  Brad opened his arms, and when you fell in them that’s when you let the sobs fall from your lips.  “I just really miss him.” You cried out, shoving your face into his hard chest.  “I love him.”

“Hey,” Brad soothingly rubbed his hands up and down your back, resting his cheek on top of your head as he swayed comfortingly back and forth with you.  “It’ll get better, I promise.  And remember what I said back on the plane?” He asked, smiling softly as you nodded your head, wiping the tears that stained your cheeks.  “Parker’s a dumbass for letting a girl as wonderful and beautiful as you go.  Don't worry, you’ll find someone way better than him that actually truly deserves you.” 

Peter didn't know he was also crying until he felt his tears soak through his mask and drop onto his arm.  Fuck, Peter cursed, banging his head repeatedly against the brick wall as he continued to swear at himself.  Peter could feel guilty sobs slowly build up in his throat but quickly swallowed them down, not wanting to catch your guys’ attention.  Just as he was about to swing off and away from this conversation an idea then popped up in his head, hoping that it’ll help or least start to make up for all the horrible things he’s done to you.

No one’s better than Peter, your mind instantly said.  “We should head back.” Brad nodded towards the rooftop’s door, “We need to start packing again for our trip to Paris tomorrow morning.”

“I’m gonna stay here a little longer,” You said, pointing at the ground.  “Are you going to be okay?” Brad asked, receiving a nod from you.  “Yeah, I’ll be fine.  Just want to enjoy the view for a little bit.”

You watched as Brad nodded before heading towards the roof’s exit.  And when he was out of your sight, you then heard some sort of shuffling behind you, causing you to whip your head around.  You could then feel yourself smile and your heart flutter inside your chest at the sight of the Red Dragon necklace resting on the railing in front of you.  But as you grabbed the piece of jewelry and held it in your hands, one thought ran through your mind.

Did Peter just hear everything you said about him?

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!  Let me know if you want to be added to this series taglist or my permanent one.

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