#do you think he blamed himself?
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oopsie! accidentally thought about katsuya "brother complex" suou in hysterics upon finding his baby brother burned and stabbed in front of the shrine! holding his hand and trying to stop all that goddamn blood on the way to the hospital! sitting by his bedside as he recovers, the kid laying there so scared in the hospital! silly me!
#hmm i wonder if this is why hes so protective of him in p2ep#wait no nvm that never happened in that timeline#weird#anyways#the comic anthology has a 4 panel bit about katsuya looking for him that night at the shrine#the audacity to play it off as a joke.#i cant even begin to imagine how devastated he mustve been.#persona 2#p2#persona 2 innocent sin#p2is#<- since it only happens in that game. because time travel#katsuya#tatsuya suou#hey#do you think he blamed himself?
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A belief in Nominative Determinsim
#mira & isa sitting at the other side of the room: oh that cannot be a healthy rationalisation. someone should deconstruct that QUICKLY...#change's strongest soldiers VERSUS one guy echo chambering themselves about a susperstition-based retributive model of the world. GO!!!#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#sloops#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#hey look now. this is softer than usual isnt it? ignore the. ignore the subtle damnation of blame unto the self. its fine. theyre fine#this is in fact a slight adaptation of that headcanon of mine i linked! yep! turns out the way to comic-ise it was to. make it like#90% speech bubble and get kinda weird with the formatting. it's clunky and experimental but hey. im experimenting.#the next ones gonna have even more fucking speech bubbles if it goes how im planning. christ#then its gonna get followed up with something wordless so. all things in perfect balance.#DISCLAIMER: i like to write loop and siffrin displaying the maybe not so great logic-holes their seeming fear of 'retribution for not#sticking to (the script) what the universe intends for them' entails. i do not agree with their weird philosophising.#i in fact think this is . bad for them. and am exploring how fucking unhealthy their mindset seems to be even when 'mundane'#OCD siffrin real as hell whats with the doing arbitrary actions in specific ways lest Something Nebulously Bad Happen little dude?#anyway if you caught the extremely blunt symbolism of kissing a hand with a knife in it you win a prize! it's called self-satisfaction 🎉🎉#hmm. do people realise i kept calling this type of back and forth between siffrin and loop a socratic dialogue bc socrates was also just#arguing with himself? like he was just making up the other guys. complete thought experiment. i also call them that because theyre WORDY!!!
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You ever think about how neither of them got to say goodbye?
#TSAMS#Sun and Moon Show#The Sun and Moon Show#TSAMS Lunar#SAMS Lunar#Sun#SAMS Sun#FNAF Sun#FNAF#Five Nights At Freddy's#MeaganCanDraw#I love New Moon a lot don't get me wrong but Old Moon's and Sun's relationship wasn't black and white (as much as NM wants to insist it was#YES Old Moon treated Sun horribly YES he wasn't the best person but#their relationship was also complicated and messy and they both genuinely loved each other despite everything#So much of what they did was for each other and that adds even more to the tragedy of their relationship and Moon's death#Sun and Old Moon's final conversation was them fighting#Moon's final in-person words to him were ��I love you and I'm sorry”#to which Sun didn't say anything bc he was mad at him (which I don't blame him for given everything that happened in that episode)#Do you think Sun has realized this? How often does he go back to that moment#How often has he imagined himself saying or doing something different? Something that would've resulted in them leaving that bunker togethe#Meanwhile Lunar lost the person who gave him a new life and a family that actually cares about him#And he was in Moon's head for months and saw first hand how much his regrets and trauma affected him#Both of which would eventually destroy him due to the cycle of self-loathing he was trapped in#How much does HE think about that?#Anyway sorry for not posting for nearly (checks watch) two years??#It'll likely happen again#1k
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Every day I’m haunted by the fact the boys happily swim in sewer water
Even if it’s filtered somehow there’s no way it’s not still nasty 😭 Bet they can defeat any of their villains just by accidentally giving them diseases I swear
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#bless their hearts but they’re nasty#it’s funny because like#each and every one of them has moments#where they’re a typical disgusting teenage boy#and then the next they have STANDARDS#can’t blame Leo for being so determined to go to a spa#even if he nearly licked his own foot that’s prob cleaner than anything else the boys have been up to in years 💀#thank you shelldon for all your hard work cleaning after then 🙏#they’re all gross teenage boys!!!#even Donnie he is NO exception here#bro was DRINKING A BEVERAGE while wading through sewer water he is just as gross as his bros#bro also talks with his mouth full he is no more refined than his equally gross bros fr and I love it#but yeah no way that water isn’t disgusting even filtering it would still leave grime on the walls of the sewer for yearsss#pros of them moving into an abandoned subway system is fixing their sense of smell enough to not be as gross#100% that’s part of why they didn’t mind being so filthy pre shelldon#because I mean they were literally raised in the sewers and they’re teenage boys like that’s a double whammy#THEY ALSO DONT WEAR SHOES#the few times any of them do the shoes are discarded before heading home 💀#I love them tho they are endearing anyhow#April’s immune system must be godlike just being around them fr#honestly no joke Mikey’s probably the cleanest of them all#just by virtue of being a chef#Leo I see as a mixture since he no doubt loves to pamper himself so he’s clean like#a percentage of time before he goes out and ruins his own hard work#Donnie is similar in that he’s just VERY SELECTIVE about what he thinks is too gross#Raph may be more on the stinky end but it’s not his fault he has his stinks and eats things of dubious origin(esp since his bros ate poison)#Donnie and Leo really have the gall to be sick about Raph eating the origami salami but they have no room to talk#all their villains are prob like please stay away from us we have salmonella now
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“Careful now.” Mr. Milchick cautioned, his left palm just beneath yours as he’d stopped you from nearly dropping the small, neatly wrapped box. He guided your left hand back to a level height, around ninety degrees at angle from elbow to hand. “We wouldn’t want to break that.” His right hand was set atop yours on the top side of the gift box.
“Oh, thank you, Mr. Milchick,” you sighed in relief. “My apologies, my outie overexerted himself this past weekend.”
“Yeah, that’s called sex,” Dylan snarked, pointing to the hard to cover hickeys trailing to the back of your ear. You weren’t exactly eager to promote or detail your outie’s sex-life.
“It’s his outie’s wedding anniversary,” Mark rectified Dylan’s crass statement.
“I’m aware,” Mr. Milchick responded, “Five years, seven months, and twelve weeks.” His left hand softly traced your wedding ring. If you didn't know any better, you'd say his smile took a softer tone; the usual dead joy in his eyes looked almost enamored. “My congratulations to your outie. I imagine the annual exhaustion indicative of a successful and joyous marriage."
Dylan's yearly crude joke on the matter was cut short as Irving placed a hand on his mouth. "I believe so too," you beamed, "alongside the presents, of course." You nodded to the gift in your hands. "Thank you for hand-delivering this year's gift, and last year's, and the year before that. You really don't have to; I'm sure there are better things to do." You glanced down at the gift; his hands had yet to leave yours.
"Nonsense," he assured you, "It's no trouble at all." Mr. Milchick squeezed your hands and, with one final smile, left the space. Irving made a disgusted sound as Dylan licked his palm and darted into the supply closet for a tissue.
Dylan pursed his lips, glancing over at the door; once certain Mr. Milchick wasn't returning soon, he teased, “Get a room next time, will you?”
You rolled your eyes. "It's hardly sexual to talk to a coworker."
"It is when you and Milchick do it," Dylan pulled a face in good jest. "Tell him, Mark!" He attempted to corral Mark to his side, "The eyefucking is abysmally disgusting." He dramatically exclaimed.
"I mean," Mark pursed his lips momentarily, "I don't really see anything of the sort," his words caused disbelief to rise on Dylan's face. "Besides, isn't Milchick married?"
Both Dylan and you turn to each other, then Mark, before shrugging, uncertain as to the answer. "How can you be sure?" Dylan asked.
His question was met with no answer as Irving returned and sternly expressed Mr. Milchick's preference for privacy: "What extracurricular activities Mr. Milchick has have no bearing here; he hardly enjoys sharing facts about himself outside of work, we should respect that." Dylan pouted and directed a not-so-quiet 'party pooper' at Irving; the latter turned to you and smiled earnestly, "Besides, aren't you more excited to find what anniversary present our friend has this year?"
Dylan half-shrugged, and he and Mark turned their attention to the gift box as you tore away the purple wrapping. This year's gift was an appropriately and mildly decorated set of custom sticky notes. "Your outie's husband is quite thoughtful," Irving commented, glancing at the stickers. “He's a lucky man."
#I watch Severance for the plot and the curve of Mr. Milchick’s ass#I need to catch up and watch season two good lord I need to see my husband ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ (´。• ω •。♡)#seth milchick x male reader#seth milchick x innie reader x outie reader#seth milchick x reader#he’s a greedy man he can’t just sort of have the innie he gotta have the outie too#typing innie and outie in a sentence is so goofy too 💀😭 I love it#I’m thinking reader gets severed first then Milchick is like yeah I want that cake and goes to outie reader and is like hello cute meet up#severance imagine#shitedrabbles#also what do you mean there’s no imagines 😐🤨#don’t ask me why the board would allow this I just biblically want mr. milchick#it is also fucking hilarious to me to picture him talking about himself to reader's innie like your outie's husband must love him so much 💀#like bitch that is you. you are the husband.#if i mispelled his name blame autocorrect
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Do you guys think the yj has feelings about that time when they didn't realize Kon had been replaced by Match until it was too late??
#like yk not immediately after it happened#but after when they are individually thinking about what happened#do you think cassie blames herself bc she kind of had a crush on him on that time??#do you think cissie blanes herself for almost noticing but not???#do you think tim blames himself bc he was supposed to be the one who would noticed something like that??#do you think bart blames himself bc he was (arguable) the closest to kon at time??#their friend wasnt their friend#and none of them realized until it was too late#they were supposed to be a team#this is about yj sins of youth#superboy was replaced by match during yj 17-19#young justice#kon el#superboy#cassie sandsmark#wonder girl#cissie king jones#arrowette#bart allen#impulse#tim drake#robin#dc
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Still not used to this life or death situation stuff. That's good, 'cause I'm not either. You never get used to it.
#swedit#starwarsedit#starwarsblr#star wars#poe dameron#flashing gif#nym.gifs#thinking about how in the stuff pre tfa he just. he wants to be a /pilot/ he wants to be a /soldier/ because he doesn't want to have to#carry the burden of the moral calls and the weight of so many people's lives in his hands#especially when strategies go /wrong/#'point me at the bad guys and let me do my thing'#he works alone SO often.#and there's something so genuinely tragic that poe's just. /so/ good at what he does that he ends up catapulting himself into the position#that. he didn't want.#and the thing that /pushed/ him into joining the resistance to prevent from happening again (losing someone he cares about under his#command /keeps/ happening). and worse he ends up in these positions where he /could/ blame himself for things that /aren't/ his call.#like u know he's got to feel responsible for the village on some level not to mention fuckin /kijimi/#it was /his/ idea to go there#the world should've protected you. instead you've been chosen to protect it.#what an honor. what an injustice.#not all of these fit this theme but mostly i just wanted to focus on his reaction/responses to some of the bigger tragedies in the trilogy#and tbh there's also. plenty more shots.
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I fucking love Dally and Ponyboy’s friendship when you don’t have a bitch in your ear saying that it’s the exact same as Dally and Johnny’s
#‘i think dally would kill himself if pony had died too’ you do not understand any of those three characters and their relationships#that doesn’t mean and dally&ponyboy aren’t as important as dally&johnny but they are different#and while dally would be devastated over pony’s death he wouldn’t blame himself like he did for johnny’s#that’s just a fact#dallas winston#ponyboy curtis#the outsiders#dally winston#johnny cade#se hinton#like why do you even want to make them the exact same?#dally and pony's canon friendship is so compelling and interesting
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the he
#the owl house#toh#darius deamonne#toh fanart#the degree that this man was underutilized was criminal#he was mentored by the previous golden guard????? he knew what belos did to him??? and then had to watch belos make a clone of him????#bro like. the dynamics here are absolutely insane#how sick to his stomach do you think darius was when he saw hunter’s face for the very first time?#how sick to his stomach do you think he was when he realized he was resenting an abused child for something he wasn’t even aware of?#do you think darius blames himself?#do you think darius lies awake at night wishing he’d done something sooner? wondering if he could have spared hunter some of his scars?#do you think hunter knows?#do you think hunter wishes he knew how to tell darius that he understands? that it’s not his fault?#do you think hunter longs to know the words of comfort that would have been offered by the man who shared his face?#do you think they mourn together?#my art#myart
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Gonna say something controversial.
Ford Pines is a nuanced character who is neither good nor bad. Absolving him of his crimes is actively a detriment to his character and does a disservice to the storytelling of Gravity Falls, but defining him exclusively by his mistakes without taking the time to understand him is a purposefully bad faith take that actively makes your enjoyment of the show worse.
He is neither a good or bad person, because "good" people and "bad" people aren't real. There's just people. And people fuck up sometimes.
If no one fucked up and if no one held onto those fuckups sometimes out of sheer desperation, the world of fiction would be way more boring, unengaging, and dull.
Ford Pines is a mess and I don't want him to be sanitized or demonized. I just want him to be a mess.
Thank you
#sorry someone keeps sending bad ford takes into a server i'm in and they're getting to me#he's a prideful and arrogant man and also deeply insecure and compensating for that with ego#he wants to be a good person and do the right thing while accepting influence from the worst people in his life because he respects them#he's placed his entire self worth on a pedistal because everyone else held him to that bar#and he'll never reach it because he keeps putting it up higher and higher before he even can#like he coulda published his research at any time but chose not to because he wanted to make a wave in science so big he couldn't be ignore#he felt like if he wasn't someone extraordinary then there was no point to him at all because he cannot be ordinary#it's either excel or be outcasted. and he was done being outcasted#so he used that to build himself up as compensation for that looming feeling#and as a result he tried to reach up as high as he could and took bad deals#bill made it clear; it's the hillbilly or me. he's going to betray you. and as soon as ford thought bill was right it was joever#bill manipulated him onto that train of thought but he ultimately made that call at Greasy's that night#that's the fun part! there's the nuance!!#ford wouldn't have acted that way without bill's influence but bill did not actively tell him to treat fidds like that#it's so interesting because it's so layered and intertwined. so many variables rely on each other to happen.#this is a good man pushed in the worst direction possible by a being who intends him harm and ford is nonethewiser until it's too late#idk why it's controversial to say that i like my ford messy but here we are. i like him messy. he's not an angel but he's not a demon eithe#he's a goddamn human and the show treats him like one#journal 3 and TBOB also support this. hell TBOB's entire *point* was to show how bill managed to manipulate him#and show the horrors that came after. then it showed us that ford has nothing to be ashamed of there. it's not his fault#no one in his family blames him or thinks he's stupid for falling for bill. why do some people think he is or think TBOB thinks he is?#i dont get it#dimond speaks
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We’re all familiar with the Xander-Ace arm wrestling scene. A lot of people cite it as one of their favorite funny moments from the series. And yeah, it is pretty funny when you don’t think about it too much.
The joke is pretty much, “Haha, Ace is such a wimp! He’s totally freaking out about a minor injury like it’s a really big deal!”
I don’t know if it was just me, but I sort of had this internal notion that Ace must’ve mentioned that his hand really hurt or something, and the joke was that he was wimp because it was such a minor injury, and it probably didn’t hurt at all.

But, uh. He never says anything about his hand hurting. Here are the lines he says (not all of which are featured in a text box, since Teruko and Xander are talking over him):
“AAAAAHHHHHH MY HAANNNDDDD!!!!”
*falls on the ground, gets up, screams again*
“OH GOD! You’re gonna put me down like a horse with a broken leg!!!”
“I’d rather die than not be able to eat cereal with my hand!!!”
“I’M NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO RACE AGAIN!!!!”
Listening to all of the voice lines again, it seems less like Ace is panicking because his hand is hurting, and more like he's panicking because of what may happen to him if his hand is indeed badly injured. So it's less so about the injury itself, and more about what may happen because of it.
He first, of course, panics over Xander being a threat. That's completely expected, since making Xander angry just broke a table and assumedly hurt him in some way or another.
The cereal line is a bit confusing, especially considering his secret. A while back I came up with an out-there theory that he said that in order to try and deflect any suspicion about his secret, since an eating disorder can weaken your bones and if he got hurt too easily, people might begin to suspect something. So he rather clumsily brought up the subject of how he did in fact eat food. If we consider the fact that he's lying here, then him saying he'd rather die than do something makes a lot more sense, since we know he doesn't mean that at all. But in hindsight I may have been overthinking it...Still, I can't think of a better explanation, other than dismissing it altogether as a throwaway joke that didn't have much thought put into it.
The last line is what really makes this interesting. Ace hates his talent and anything to do with it. And yet one of the things he's panicking about the most is how he may not be able to race after sustaining an injury. And I think that this moment probably gives us our earliest insight into just how far Ace will go in order to race. In his first FTE with Teruko, he claims he doesn't do much work at all for his talent, until his performance anxiety forces him to. By saying that, it makes it sound like his talent doesn't completely dominate his life.
But this scene, in the same exact episode of his FTE, quickly proves to the viewer just how desperate Ace is to continue his talent, to the point where his own well-being becomes less important than it. Ace's extreme reaction to being injured isn't because he's a wimp that can't deal with pain, it's because he's spiraling about what this could mean for his career and, therefore, his status as a failure. "What if this injury prevents me from racing?" is the question that comes first, causing him to panic instead of being able to focus on how bad the injury actually is.
...I guess the thing that made me want to write about this scene is just how...Smart it is. It does so much at once. On a first viewing, it's really funny, and it still is on other viewings. Yet in hindsight, it's easier to notice just how distressed Ace is, and that no one is taking that seriously. No one ever takes his fears seriously, and in the end his fears drove him to murder, proving how important they really were. Even if his worries seem silly from an outsider's perspective, they're very real to him. And that's something that no one in-universe could realize until it was too late. This scene does an amazing job summarizing just how the cast's attitude towards Ace helped push him to becoming a culprit.
...Or maybe I'm taking the silly arm-wrestling scene too seriously, haha.
#this has been in my drafts forever but maybe now it can finally see the light of day...#even if its a little melodramatic and worded clumsily i still agree with my points here i think#but this doesn't mean i think ace shouldn't be blamed at all for murdering someone#just that there were factors outside of just himself and the killing game concept that pushed him to take action like he did#after all you have to push someone who's all bark no bite pretty far in order for them to do something as drastic as what he did right?#the whole cast needs to learn to treat each other better is basically what im saying haha#and also drdtdev is an amazing writer they turned their comedic relief into an actual threat SO WELL#danganronpa despair time#drdt#drdt spoilers#ace markey#cw ed
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Prompt 108
So this time it wasn’t Danny’s fault, or even Boxy’s fault! And it wasn’t like Pandora’s box was open for more than a split second! But uh, still. This could be a bit of a problem, what with how it’s affected um, well, everyone. Living and ghosts.
At least it’s not dangerous! Really, how bad can people getting animal aspects be? Well, besides the embarrassment.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#Over in Gotham Catwoman is squealing with elation at her new cat ears and tail#Superman is bemused at being part dog now- his tail won’t stop wagging help#Jason is thinking this is some sort of sick joke when he scarlet robin wings#the claws are kind of cool though he’ll admit#Pet adoption centers get a lot of visitors thanks to people no longer being allergic to animals they previously were#Several people want to go back to sleep#other people want to know wtf is going on#danny definitely didn't do an oopsie#Tucker looking at himself: If I am a sphinx now I will be blaming you if Riddler or catwoman kidnaps me dude#Sam: At least aricaris can survive on my diet so I'm good#Danny & Tucker: How did you figure out the species so quickly????#WHEEZE- box ghost is part box turtle now
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#pain!!!! this book is pain!!!!#and then burrich spends the next 16+ years blaming himself for fitz's death and doing everything he can to prevent the same fate#befalling the rest of his children. he keeps nettle safe and away from the farseers and tries to prevent swift from using wit#even if both those things end up causing more harm in the end. but after what he thinks happened to fitz can you really blame him?#(i mean yes. of course you can. but fuck it hurts)#god burrich makes me insane#rote#realm of the elderlings#burrich#assassin's quest#tawny man spoilers#(in the tags at least)#rote reread
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It’s funny that like every 2-6 months Bruce makes the decision that he clearly makes everyone’s life worse by being in it and distances himself to keep them safe and realizes that either he needs them or they would actually benefit to have him around sometimes so he has to casually make everything right again or get bullied into being a dad again.
Dick is kind of sick of it but also so in tune to the cycle that he can accurately predict when it’s due to occur, in which case he notifies the batfam (-Bruce) group chat. Everyone has their ways of dealing with it from suddenly wanting to hang out (read: being annoyingly clingy) all day (Jason) to convoluted schemes to root out the cause of Bruce’s current depressive spiral and proving that he can’t do it alone (Tim), to not doing anything at all bc that is ‘not my fucking problem’ (Steph), etc.
What they haven’t all realized is that even when Bruce is going through his sad little hermit episodes, he would still be at their sides the moment they ask for him because no matter how much self hatred he feels at any given moment, his kids needing his help snaps him out of it so fast it gives him whiplash.
#I haven’t read a whole lot of Batman centric comics but all the ones I have read have him do his little guilt spiral that makes him run away#-from his friends and family#and he’s always so shocked when the follow him or come back when he asks#like it’s so important that he doesn’t ever quite get that people actually care about him#someone would tell him that they would die for him and he would hate that#he would prefer it if you don’t take a bullet for him actually#he’s had enough of that…#I will think about that one comic where he’s sixteen and spending his birthday alone thinking that maybe it’s his fault his parent are dead#he spends so much time trying to find someone to blame but ultimately blames himself the most#which is… Sad#I want to study his mind like a bug but I know that would be psychological torture for him#bruce wayne#batman#the kids mostly intervene bc they don’t want him to be suicidaI again#batfamily
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Howwwww did you angst the world tour?? 🎀
this question made me giggle so much oh i'm glad you asked :3c there was so much yummy grian angst in the hc world tour!
it's all about grian and his penchant for destruction. he doesn't even mean to! he's not trying to be pesky; quite the opposite. he's curious but restrained, trying to be good, trying to follow instructions. he's not malicious at all! he's just there to see what people were up to, open and friendly and curious, eager to look and learn and praise. not a bad intention in sight... and yet things seem to break wherever he goes. everything he touches goes wrong.
the guilt churns, acidic and overwhelming, and grian's miserable. why is he like this? he's trying so hard, why is this the only way he can ever be? why can't it stop?
spoilers for grian's world tour video below <3
plantie pointed out to me how, during the tour of scar's train, when grian got rid of scar's arrows—the glitched ones that doc put there—he was so desperate to point it out after scar just glossed over it. as if he wanted to show that he can do something good. he can be helpful, he can fix things instead of just breaking everything.
but then we have all the other things, right? grian can't escape it.
when he was with etho and the mushroom farm exploded, he sums it up in a wretched if confused apology: "i'm so sorry. the two times i tried to use it, i broke it :( and created a water source floating— which i don't know how it happened— and flung the TNT, which i really don't understand—"
they move on, but it's so clear it lingers.
etho isn't blaming him. he's amused and brushes it off and moves along, unbothered, but grian himself can't wrap his head around it. about that propensity to breaking things, even unintentionally. the way nothing is safe around him.
he tells etho: "i can't stop thinking about your mushroom farm. why does everything i touch break, in new and unexpected ways?"
(not to mention when etho's showing him frogger and grian plays, almost instantly etho goes: "uh-oh, the game's broken", with a little huff of laugh. it wasn't exactly tied to anything grian did, but still something i wanted to point out, since grian was there for it <3)
and then grian goes to zedaph, right?
the very first game zedaph shows him. the very first. grian plays the way he was told to, the way he was meant to, and— he breaks it.
zedaph just laughs and moves them on.
(just sprinkling in a side note that zedaph's furnace minigame also didn't seem to work the way it should've—)
by the time grian gets to pearl's, it's starting to be a pattern that's so clearly eating away at him, making him anxious. he doesn't want it to happen again!
and yet.
pearl invites him to play her wordle game, and grian mindlessly goes and pushes the wrong button trying to start it... instantly stepping away with a quiet groan of a dread-filled "...oh-" followed by: "i just— ruined it already."
there's something about the mood switch. the way he seems more restrained and tame, silently upset with himself, trying so hard not to mess things up further. questioning why this is happening again. why he can't stop making it happen.
he walks over to the reset game button and asks, carefully: "can i press reset? is it gonna hurt? 🥺👉👈"
pearl reassures him he can, with a sigh noting that it'll just take a while.
there's an almost hysteric laugh from grian, followed by an exasperated, upset scream. "everything i touch breaks! when i went to e— i broke etho's thing when i went to— not frogger, his— his mushroom farm i— it blew up."
"you blew up his mushroom farm?? how? what did you do?!"
"yeah, i— i broke zed's game, instantly, pretty much, it's—"
"oh my gosh :("
"sorry 🥺"
pearl is quick to reassure him, though. "well, luckily for you, this is— you doing that (pushing the wrong button) does not break the game. it's just, you now have to wait for it to reset."
she makes sure grian knows that he didn't mess up anything terribly here. he didn't break pearl's game. it's okay! it's fine!
and then grian right clicks to open the book, and instead makes bonemeal pop out of a composter.
i think at this point pearl is a little bit taken aback by how wrong everything really seems to be going around grian. she makes sure to say, "it's fine," again, just so grian won't start worrying about it all again. "you're clicking on everything that people do not usually click on today. but it's okay. it's still not broken! it's not broken, it's alright, it's okay— i've got failsaves for people like you."
it's so sweet how she really tries to soothe him— and yet she can't help but let out that last remark.
people like you.
those few words surely lodge in more than all the reassurances. they're like splinter, proving grian right.
eventually, he gets to skizz.
during the tour of skizz's base, skizz shows him a horse statue and starts talking about how he lost his first horse at an event that grian was also a part of. and grian's stomach instantly sinks.
he asks hushedly, a bit confused, trying to remember: "was i there?"
skizz laughs. "you were absolutely there, dude."
which leads grian to ask, uneasily: "did i do it?"
skizz waves his hands, quick to easily reassure that no! that's not it, grian didn't do it!
grian lets out an oh with such palpable relief, and goes on to explain about how, "i remember witnessing it, but sometimes it's hard to disentangle whether i did it or not. coz i tell you what, on this tour i've broken everyone's stuff."
nobody was upset with grian when things broke, but here he is, several hermits down, still unable to leave it to rest. because it's him. it's him who did all of that, somehow, and he didn't mean to, but it doesn't matter. it happened anyway.
and now he can't even tell what is and what isn't his fault anymore.
the guilt is deep rooted, leaving anxious assumptions and dark, jagged precipices. how much did he destroy? what else should he be feeling guilty about? how far does this go?
he keeps breaking things, and it's such a blur that he can no longer tell what is and what isn't his fault.
the tour continues, and he delves into skizz's pyramid. and it's just— it's just a tunnel to swim through. nothing to mess up, besides potentially dying to suffocation, right?
and yet you can hear skizz shrilly exclaim: "oh he's going to end up breaking something!!"
and, (plantie's words: ) grian hearing that and just wondering, is that all i'm good for? is that all i'm known for? is that all i am?
there's no room for doubt; not really. that is what grian does, all the time, whether he wants to or not. he breaks stuff. he just— he doesn't mean to. and this tour is one big show of how powerless he is against it. (how everyone expects it from him anyway.)
despite it all, grian perseveres, trying out skizz's game, stubbornly dedicated and trying to win. (to pass; to have something to be proud of, at least—) and he gets to the powdered snow section.
there, he jumps across to a pathway that he was meant to circle to through the snow instead.
it's not breaking anything, not really. not even the rules. it's not cheating! he's just— he just did something skizz did not expect, but that was entirely possible within the game's design, even if not intended. he exploited it to his advantage; a risky, tricky shortcut.
and yet skizz remarks with a laugh: "this is what grian does! he breaks games!"
no matter what grian does... is that all he'll ever be?
is that all they'll see?
he fails getting through skizz's game, is thanked for play-testing, praises it all, they talk it all away, and...
and then grian goes to tour mumbo's base.
and fails to even die properly to his llama—
and then mumbo shows him his archive machine, and instantly panicks when grian gets curious about it, begging him not to touch anything. and grian says: "your stomach just fell through didn't it?" and after mumbo's immediate agreement, he adds: "and rightfully so. coz, almost everything i've touched on this tour has broken."
there's not a sliver of surprise to mumbo's anxious rushed: "yeah, yeah yeah! please stop now." because, of course things have broken. of course what grian touches is bound to go wrong. of course—
and then mumbo very carefully tells grian what to do with the machine.
grian does as he's told.
mumbo looks up and pauses, a frown crossing his face as he takes it in. he notes that grian probably did it too fast—
(something went wrong)
(something broke)
mumbo says: "i can't believe you come along and every single thing in my base starts [going wrong/breaking/malfunctioning]"
and then grian mysteriously ends up with an extra book from mumbo's machine, much to mumbo's dismay. grian's confused, cogs spinning as he tries to figure out what did he mess up this time to result in this.
it's clear mumbo wants grian away from his machine. it's not safe. (grian isn't safe.)
"maybe just give that to me and maybe just step away from the contraption. and then— maybe just leave me to—"
grian's upset and bewildered voice cuts in: "i didn't do anything wrong this time :(("
he's trying so hard.
he's trying so hard to be good and do things right and not mess anything up.
(it isn't working.)
(it's never bound to work, is it?)
mumbo ushers him away, and ends up showing him another cool invention—an elevator. except the second mumbo hits the button, a creeper shows up and explodes it. (it's midday.) (it wasn't even meant to be there.)
this one isn't grian's fault at all, but with everything that's happened— well, it's easy enough to link it to grian's presence. like a bad luck omen.
apprehensively, grian asks if the elevator broke, and mumbo—a bit bewildered by the reality of it—says that no, it seems to still work. "amazingly," he tacks on, disbelieving.
grian's relieved. "ohh, i thought we were in big trouble there!"
besides himself, mumbo anxiously agrees: "augh. i was like, if every single creation that i show breaks in some fashion, i'm just gonna quit."
because this isn't normal. none of this is, least of all everything at once. it simply doesn't happen.
(not when grian isn't there, anyway.)
mumbo notes that he needs to work on his lighting, and grian nods wisely saying it's a perpetual issue, but the anxiety is digging its talons in now, unrelenting. (what else is going to go bad in grian's presence? what else will he mess up? what else will he break? why is he like this?)
another remark that comes after this is mumbo's nervous: "i've actually just built up the automatic sorter which does this—which you're not gonna touch. we're banned from touching any redstone contraptions!"
and what can grian do but oblige? (but he can at least look, right?)
but does it ever change anything?
does it matter?
-
at the end of the day, the others don't think too much about it.
they all say their part, pass their judgment, wave their hands, dismiss, move on. it doesn't keep them up at night.
... i think it might keep grian up at night.
a cacophonous collection of word snippets, aimed at him or woven around him, digging under his skin until it bleeds. a noose of inescapable fate, a tightening band around his chest that promises he can only ever be one thing:
a vessel for destruction.
it doesn't matter if he wants to be.
shackles and chains and a cosmic inevitability written into his skin, etched into his bones, tangled into his bloodstream. and an ever-rising guilt like stormy sea, far above his head now, drowning him.
(maybe he's not meant to be near other people and their things.)
(maybe he's not meant to touch games that were constructed with so much effort and love and passion poured into them.)
(maybe he shouldn't—)
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bonus screenshots from discord DMs (with extra sprinkles of hmtb mentions):
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bonus hmtb quotes because i kept thinking about it:
He always destroys the things he loves most, after all.
and:
He destroyed everything he touched, and when there was nothing left, he destroyed the only remaining thing: himself.
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#ange answers#ribbon anon#grian angst#i might've gotten a bit rambly - this wasn't meant to be so long it just sort of kept snowballing the further i went. oops#anyway grian's such a good vessel for guilt#because he internalises it and holds on#even if nobody else holds a grudge#even if nobody else blames him#(and yet in all the little remarks - do they really not hold it against him? isn't there proof enough that clearly it matters to them too?)#(so how could he ever be absolved?)#for them these are just some random events#but for him it piles up and piles up and piles up#into an undeniable pattern that stains his hands like blood#and he can't wash his skin free of it#he can't escape it#no matter how hard he tries#(and yes it does tie beautifully into hmtb grian and his own perspective on things and struggles and how he deals with guilt)#(the keyword here is: badly) (he deals with the guilt badly)#i also went to think about other things like the tunnel bore incident and SL mumbo and WL zombie skizz and-#just so many instances of grian guilt you know?#it builds up until it's indisputable and inevitable#and grian is cornered by the reality of it (with nowhere to go)#think about it:#grian feels guilt over things he feels he has no control over (because it doesn't matter how hard he tries)#and we know grian thrives on having control#(just throwing that out there)#something about how grian keeps wretchedly confessing it to everyone - that he already broke many things#like tacking a warning sign on himself so they'd know to step away and save themselves#(and he's so scared it'll happen again. so scared that it'll keep happening. so scared that it'll never stop—)
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Rewatching 97 because I just need to get on with it but GAWDDD at this point I'm literally not watching all the rogueneto scenes IT'S SO UNCOOL 💀💀💀💀 ERIK WOULD NOT DO THAT WTF DISNEY
its just really funny in regards to 97 specifically because they never even interact in 92 (or if they do its incredibly sparring) so it's just the most out of nowhere thing possible. like oh we're doing this now ok
#snap chats#ITS THE WAY THEY DONT EVEN WAIT FOR MAGNETO TO UNPACK HIS SUITCASE IN THE X MANSION YK WHAT I MEAN#AS SOON AS HE'S HEADMASTER /NOW/ WE'RE GETTING THIS BACKGROUND LIKE /OH OK ALRIGHT/#OBVIOUSLY it happened in the comics but if we're talking TAS continuity... lol...#biases aside it is simply Very Funny JEALKJERKLEJA#the most awkward part of it is watching gambit get sidelined like king nooooo..... and then he dies vJEALKVJEAKLJ#like ik you two werent dating in 92 either but yall at least had build up.....#listen i get wanting to kill yourself after watching your crush and her ex. Do All That. like multiple times throughout the show#ONE TIME BEING A NAKED HALLUCINATION LIKE listen i do not blame gambit for being so ready to kill himself JVLKESJAELK#I WOULDVE BEEN ON THE NEWS PERSONALLY#i cant deny the humor of it all but at the same time it does stop me from rewatching 97 sometimes#'snap is it that serious' absolutely not its just awkward yk what i mean. i dont have a grander reason other than i cant vibe with them#idk i think i just overall wanted rogue to do more than be in a love triangle plot#maybe its just cause i dont really care for romance plots in general idk...#but then again i liked whatever they were cooking with gambit and rogue in 92... there will-they/won't-they thing.....#like the ep in 97 where she. Goes Rogue... that was cool..... thatd be cool to see more of..#hopefully that's comin in the next season...
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