#do you really think anyone wants to watch movies with made up political plotlines??

[sitaron-ka-taraanaa]

ek tha tiger >>>> literally every single yrf spy movie after that

[hnbka]

does anyone care I CARE

my cousin made me watch descendants w her again and those movies could have been sooo good if they cared at all

like the isle of the lost could have been a politically greedy landscape where malificent and jafar and other power hungry leaders led groups of villains with other deisres (mother gothel, evil queen, gaston etc). as their oldest children are nearing twenties, theres new players on the field.

how would evil queen who has sworn allegiance to maleficent have reacted to mother gothel providing her with the ability to stay young and beautiful forever? how would the two feel when their children became best friends?

and then the children, sent on missions for their parents. the seeds of allies, friends, rivals-- uma and mal, the enemies of the isle of the lost, and uma's best friend, harry dating mal??? oh give me a prequel of them before descendants PLEASE

not to mention how good that would make the payoff of descendants two??

(if you dont care about shipping scroll till you see HADES?? in really big bold text ok thanks)

and then when they get there, they don't throw the boys away as dumb plot devices but give them relationships and arcs and goals? i know, shocker, but tbf they represent women in every disney movie prior to 2009

kill off the fairy godmother's daughter dating carlos and mulan's daughter dating jay plotline i don't want it. let's bring in jay literally falling in love with gil BECAUSE IT IS REAL AND IT HAPPENS IN THE THIRD MOVIE I DONT KID

PLEASE WATCH THIS CLIP ITS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY

and carlos rip cameron boyce ❤️ i dont think he really had a personality but his fits were super solid

i dont want to talk about evie and the dwarf's son other than to say EVIE AND MAL WERE PERFECT

you can find me in the space between YEAH NOW DELETE THAT SPACE BETWEEN YOUR LIPS

and dont talk to me ab ben being left behind because he had uma and/or harry LIKE THATS THE LOVE TRIANGLE I WANT TO WATXH and i no longer feel weird ab wondering if that could have worked as a throuple vibe because riverdale did it w four people so i dont think anyone cares anymore. about anything

if youve never seen descendants and/or your very confused as to where these conclusions are coming from:

dove cameron says she ships evie and mal btw so haters can sit down

and honestly mal and uma work too like truly every ship that wasnt what they did worked so perfectly. and im not even putting a photo for them you and i both know they work

okay i swear this whole thing isnt just ship bait THERE IS MORE

one!

HADES???

why are YOU here? you are the god of the underworld, you have duties! the physics of this doesn't make sense because if hades is real, all gods are real, which means, well i don't know, can't the gods help remove him from this random island? can you imagine the beast trying to bring hades down to the isle of the lost, power struggle, and then finding out mal is his daughter BOOM PLOTLINE

and the beast is not that powerful! which brings me to my next point

why would ben have the beast's superpowers? the superpowers of the beast were a curse and removed. and why would the beast be the king of auradon? he's kind of useless. i think it would be cool and show that the heroes aren't perfect if other people wanted to rule

like not mulan or tiana thats out of character but maybe jasmine and aladdin or elsa and anna??

and where are all of these people from?? how can there be so many students if its js heroes? are there just a bunch of nobodies? why do we never see them this is honestly classist

and your telling me theres a dog but hes not related to the tens of disney dog movies that exist??? hes just some dog?? how can there js be some dog but no some humans?

and last. this is js. jay's adopted. look at him. search him up. he's not south asian, that boy is not related to jafar thanks

GOD, if a single producer there wanted to not just feed children mind numbing gunk in the shape of mid to did i mention songs and toys with dyed hair and a blindindly signature color, descendants could have gone down in history or at least to me as not just the show that killed off my beloved ever after high but a worthy opponent of it

also harry and gil kiss was cut

[scottymcgeesterwrites]

Final Fantasy XV Review

Year: 2016

Original Platform: PlayStation 4

Also available on: PC (Steam), XBox One

Version I Played: PlayStation 4

Here we go. The final Final Fantasy review of the main single-player games. I just want to say, first off, we’ve been waiting for this game since 2006. It took them ten damn years to finally release this game. I clearly remember the teaser trailer they released when it was called Final Fantasy XIII Versus, and my next-door neighbor and I were so hyped for this game when we were freaking teenagers. After years of delays, Square Enix revamped it into Final Fantasy XV.

Did it live up to the wait? Well, read and find out.

Synopsis:

Noctis Lucis Caelum is the heir to the throne of the kingdom of Lucis. On his birthday, he sets off with his three best friends and bodyguards (Ignis, Prompto, Gladio) to marry his betrothed, Lunafreya. The marriage is supposed to be a political one, though Noct and Lunafreya had grown up together and become fond of each other. But peace turns to war as the empire of Niflheim betrays Insomnia and invades. Noct, now on the run, has to reclaim his right to the throne by collecting the necessary family heirlooms which will banish the darkness.  

Gameplay:

Open-world Final Fantasy.

That is the big selling point for this game. 

A MASSIVE step up from Final Fantasy XIII’s gameplay, Final Fantasy XV has you roaming around and attacking enemies on the field in real time. The battle system returns to something slightly more conventional by having you cast spells and use items. It seems like this is what Square really intended to do after Final Fantasy XII. Looking back, Final Fantasy XIII feels like some prototype before Final Fantasy XII, so it really becomes apparent that Final Fantasy XIII’s gameplay comes off as a huge mistake.

This game’s major’s strength comes from the player engaging with a massive world. You camp. You take on hunts. You take on a bajillion sidequests. You run across the world. You drive across the world. You can ride a chocobo across the world.

However, the dip in the gameplay comes from how easily accessible these sidequests are. The map tells you exactly where you go 24/7. I started to have an existential crisis around my 50th sidequest in a row. Why am I doing this? What’s the point? I go here to kill a thing, or go there to help someone by giving a potion or taking a picture. You start to realize that a good bulk of sidequests are either hunting daemons or fetching an item. You start to deconstruct the meaning of playing a video game as you think to yourself, “Why do I play video games?” while also thinking “But wait, one more and then I swear I’m done.”.

I get it, not everyone has the time nowadays to figure out a huge game like this. I get it, video games are now marketed to everyone for ease. At the same time, I personally love a good challenge. I mean, I’m the guy who has Dark Souls as one of his favorite video games of all time, so my opinion on the matter might definitely be skewered compared to most. I generally want to feel like I actually figured something out by myself rather than following a tracker on the screen and walking from task to task and then saying, “Okay done. Next.”.

Too much of that and playing a video game starts to feel like a 9 to 5 job to me. This game is great to play during quarantine, but at one point I saw playing this game as feeling like an actual job. Wake up, eat breakfast, time to hunt some daemons.

This is the growing conflict some people have with story-driven games versus open-world games. I see the argument focused too much on words like “linear”, but in reality we should be talking about “automation”. If a video game is too automated, then did you really play a video game? Or did you watch a movie that allows you to control the camera angle? At first, the idea of driving around an open-world Final Fantasy game sounds amazing. Isn’t that what fans always dreamed of? In reality, you don’t really drive around at your leisure. Even when you have the car set to “manual”, you can’t speed up, drive off-road, or pull off a sick drift like in The Fast and the Furious. Your car still automatically stays on the road wherever you’re going. It’s not so much “manual” as it is “I can control where and when to stop and which road to take”. Riding chocobos at your leisure is much more fun, but becomes increasingly impractical as you can just fast-travel to necessary locations in your car.

The sights and sounds of the fictional world of Eos are enough to gloss over these shortcomings though. It IS still fun to roam around and fight monsters and save the day. My bottom line is, “You don’t think about just how mindless the tasks are unless you keep playing for many days straight.”. And I poured hours into this game day after day because of the 2020 pandemic quarantine.

Graphics:

Obviously the best thus far. However, in-game facial expressions on the NPCs are still quite stilted and awkward. This game made me realize that we’ve yet to jump a hurdle when it comes to in-game graphics. The game is so polished but there are still limitations when it comes to giving the characters natural movements, both in body and lips. So an NPC could be shouting “WOW THAT’S AMAZING!” but have a straight face jumping up and down, despite the fact that the character model is the most realistic we’ve created so far in a video game. I was looking back at in-game cutscenes of Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, and found it ironic that they can portray body movements so much better, but that’s the trade-off. Less graphics power to portray realistic bodies, but the graphics power can then be allocated to focus on natural movements. Nowadays, all the graphics power is focused on making things look good, but that hardly leaves room for making things move naturally.

Story:

After the overly-complicated plotline of Final Fantasy XIII, Final Fantasy XV feels like a breath of fresh air. On the surface, it’s a straightforward tale of a boy seeking to become a king after his father is brutally murdered by enemy forces. The bromance between the young king and his bodyguards is endearing. Each character feels distinct and genuinely makes you laugh. The setup sounds like prime real estate for an emotionally charged storyline.

Unfortunately, it falls apart somewhere around the last quarter. What should have been a strong and straightforward story turned into a rushed, hasty mess by the final act.

The story started SO strong, they practically had it in the bag, but then it became apparent that many important elements were glossed over - especially when it came to the main villain. I realized that some things required me to read between the lines, or even were only explained in character dossiers in the archive section of the menu. Supposedly, the movie Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV explains more, but do you really expect me to have to watch a separate movie to understand the actual game? The final quarter of the story feels like someone was trying to finish NaNoWriMo, realized they were running out of time, and quickly jumped from scene to scene to reach that 50k word goal. The ten-year time-skip is a joke. The final chapter is sorely disappointing.

The ending was appropriate though, and even beautiful. However, the overall story didn’t have the necessary emotional weight to really make me feel anything. I thought to myself, “I feel like I should be tearing up but instead I feel nothing.”. Even Final Fantasy XII, which lacked a romance, had me swelling up at the end. Final Fantasy XV didn’t make me swell up until literally the last few seconds of the post-credits scene.

People complained about the advertising (Coleman, Cup Noodles) but that didn’t bother me.

What does bother me is the lack of variety in the main cast, and in numerous ways. There were so many interesting side characters that didn’t receive much screen time, or use at all in the story. The strong focus on only the four male leads made it a sausagefest. I was craving more out of Aranea Highwind and Iris Amicitia. They are important but don’t get any screen time at all in the final chapter, nor do we ever hear from them ever again after the time-skip. Aranea Highwind was such a cool character, but once again ends up being wasted potential.

The main cast lacked distinctive styles. When I first saw the main cast, I had a hard time telling them apart. They looked like a k-pop band. Compare the main cast of Final Fantasy XV to literally any other Final Fantasy main cast and you can immediately spot the difference.

The four main leads do have distinct personalities, and I quite loved hearing their comments and banter. It felt realistic, but at times it became ridiculous. I rolled my eyes when Prompto would say things like, “Hashtag sorry not sorry.” That was a bit too on the nose, and came off as Square trying to pander to the current generation.

But what really rubbed me the wrong way is the incredible lack of non-white characters in the entire game. Lestallum feels so wrong to me as a Hispanic. Lestallum is supposed to be modeled after Havana, Cuba.

Its music, its buildings, its activities. It has a tropical climate, and yet every single denizen is pale white. Every. Single. One. I am not exaggerating. It feels so absolutely wrong walking around that city and not seeing anyone with the slightest shade of brown. This isn’t some uncalled-for SJW rant, it’s a simple fact. Tropical climates breed tanner skins. My brain naturally did a double-take when seeing the all-white population, saying, “Hmmm, something’s wrong here.”. For God’s sake, Final Fantasy XII, made over a decade earlier, did a better job at displaying the various nuances in skin tones, and that was on the PlayStation 2! Final Fantasy X, even older, seemed to properly portray tropical beach populations, inspired by the Philippines, with the character Wakka.

I noticed that they really took the time to incorporate elements from virtually every single Final Fantasy game. Aside from the crystals, the modern settings, and other obvious elements, four male leads are reminiscent of Final Fantasy III, the sinister chancellor hearkens back to Kefka from Final Fantasy VI, the enemy Yojimbo resembles Final Fantasy X’s version of Yojimbo, a certain boss battle reminded me of Cid Raines from Final Fantasy XIII.

Also, there’s Dino. Quite possibly the most annoying Final Fantasy NPC ever.

The overly obnoxious Italian stereotype made me want to punch his face, and also took me out of the experience of the fictional world. Every time you spoke with him he's all like "HEY HOW YOU DOIN WELCOME TO OLIVE GARDEN YOU TALKIN TO ME BADA BING BADA BOOM SPICY PIECE OF MEATBALL CAPISCE? AMIRITE??"

Square seemed to treat this game as a milestone in the series, alluding to everything the series ever did. It’s a shame that the story itself wasn’t quite up to snuff to be held in such regard.

Music:           

The game’s major lyrical song is copyrighted, which is a first for a Final Fantasy game. It makes sense why they chose the song “Stand by Me”, both in literal and figurative terms of the story.             

The score to this game is quite fantastic. The series has its first female composer, Yoko Shimomura. I have absolutely no complaints about the music. Nobuo Uematsu didn’t even pop into my head during the entire game. It’s the first time since Uematsu’s departure that I felt immersed in the score. The motifs are distinct and strong. The battle music is vibrant and an orchestral orgasm to listen to.    

Notable Theme:            

“Somnus”  

The main theme of the game. It plays right away in the main menu. I love how it is incorporated into the rest of the score, and my brain kept wanting to hear it to its completion.   

Direct Sequel?           

Nope. However, there is downloadable content that fills in the gap of events within the game. Supposedly, Final Fantasy XV is loosely connected to Final Fantasy XIII and Final Fantasy Type-O, all sharing common themes and possibly set in the same universe. You can also watch the prequel movie, Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV.

Did it Live up to the Hype?           

Eh.           

Yes, and no.            

It was cool to play around, but the rest is a flaccid attempt at being a notable entry in the series “for fans and first-timers”, as the words proudly display every time you load the game. It’s not the worst in the series, but certainly not the best. It’s somewhere in the mid-to-low tier.

[twilightofthe]

So...about that Obitine Anidala rant. Also, you said something about how Sidious and Obi-Wan are foils. I would love it if you elaborate. (Also, I love your blog.)

Awwwww thank you anon!  I just be yelling on here!

*wheezes* okie doke!  Tho I stress that this won’t exactly be a rant because I adore Obitine and Anidala and rant kinda implies aggression towards them, this is more of just a long-ass ramble because while I love them, I don’t always love the way canon portrays them in the narrative, particularly in relationship to each other, because I often do not feel that what the show is trying to push us to think about them is accurate to how they actually act and come across.  Notably, the show attempts to draw comparisons to the two relationships that really don’t exist below surface level similarities.  Again, these are my own personal opinions, and in fact, I welcome discussion!  I truly do!  Please politely debate me on this if you disagree!

(god dammit it got long again, so long I’ll actually put ur Sidious and Obi Wan as foils part in a separate post)

I’ll get to why exactly the show compares the relationships very strangely in a moment, but first we gotta explore the reason why it does this in the first place, which is that the Clone Wars show has decided to make Obi Wan and Anakin narrative foils to one another.  Narrative foils, by the literary definition, are two characters that contrast one another.  They don’t have to be the protagonist and the antagonist, these characters can be on the same side, basically the thing is that they have “opposite” personalities where if one character is hot, the other is cold, if one character chooses to go right, the other will go left.  It’s usually used to show one character’s qualities as more favorable for the situation as opposed to anyone else’s.

TCW does this whenever they possibly can with Anakin and Obi Wan.  I get its reasoning behind it.  I do.  The reasoning is that while Anakin is supposed to be a main character, he makes questionable decisions quite often and for the kiddies watching, those decisions must be seen as Bad even if the hero does it, so they have Obi Wan, the unquestionable good guy, encounter the exact same scenarios Anakin makes his questionable decisions in, and then has Obi Wan make the Right(TM) decision to teach the kids a valuable lesson.  They turn Obi Wan into the voice of reason for the entire show, which turns basically almost everything Obi Wan and Anakin do into a constant competition in the narrative in a way the movies do not do (and I’ll get to the movies later).  I’m not saying it’s necessarily a bad thing, making them foils, but it’s definitely more of a show-only thing and it does it quite, quite often.

So yeah, TCW likes to compare Obi Wan and Anakin to the point that sometimes they try and use Obi Wan to diminish Anakin’s genuine trauma and struggles by going “well why didn’t you do it like THIS?” and I think that writing parallel plotlines for the purpose of shaming/criticism is kinda ://////, but that’s another rant for another day that again, if y’all wanna hear about, lmk

Anyway, the need to compare them absolutely made its way into their romantic relationships as well, as they acknowledge the similarities in the show, and Filoni and the crew explicitly compare the two relationships in interviews.

Basically my problem with how they try and draw said parallels can be boiled down to one quote by Filoni that a cursory Google search could not find but I know exists so y’all can take my word or not, that went along the lines of “Obi Wan and Satine are like Anakin and Padmé but better because they know how to stay unattached and let each other go.  They’re a success story.”  I disagreed with this quote so much it inspired me to write a whole-ass fic about it (Mutuals update: yes, it is coming soon, Darth Maul is just himself and therefore an utter pain in the ass to do a POV on and is fighting me like the bitchass he is)

My thesis that I will be arguing today is that while TCW tried to create Obitine as an Anidala parallel, they’re really not similar in the way the writers think they are.  Obitine is not a success story to Anidala, they’re a goddamn tragedy too; the real parallel to Anidala is that Obitine also ended in death and tears despite making all the “right” decisions instead of all the “wrong” ones, and that is what is sad about them.

Like, on the surface level?  Yeah, the crew-intended parallels are there.  A fancy politician and a Jedi get together after the Jedi is assigned as the politician’s bodyguard.  The first time they see each other in over a decade the guy’s first words are basically “damn girl you’re still hot”, there is Conflict(TM) and the choice to try and be together or stay yearningly apart because they are Forbidden(TM) to be together, and ultimately a Sith Lord fucks them both over because he’s obsessed with the Jedi and uses Politician Lady to his advantage, finds and exploits a vulnerability of hers, destroys her life’s work, and then lets her die to make Jedi Man sad.  The difference is all that one pair said “yeah we aren’t gonna break the rules to be together” and the other said “fuck it yeah we are, let’s do this”

But beneath all of that, they real similarities are different and not at all focused on by the narrative.  Obi Wan and Anakin are extremely different people, as are Padmé and Satine, so their relationship dynamics together will not be the same.  You want to try and compare Obi Wan and Anakin and then compare Satine and Padmé like the crew attempts to, and you can’t, they have the same job but not nearly the same life.  Namely, the funny coincidence is that Obi Wan and Padmé are much more similar in personality, while Anakin and Satine are also much more similar in personality, so the first time they meet again, it’s both Anakin and Satine as the one who’s been pining for over a decade and the one more actively pursuing the relationship, while Obi Wan and Padmé who are more like “uh, hi, wow, you’re hot and this is a Problem because I have a job to do pls don’t look at me like that but also I will Cause Problems On Purpose and flirt with you anyway because I can’t help it”.  I get the Corruption TCW ep with Sati and Pads was mostly intended just to help Satine pass the Bechdel test and also show how similar the two leading lady love interests are, but it was a genuinely creative episode that actually ended up showing how much Satine and Padmé compliment each other instead of mirroring each other, much like Obi Wan and Anakin do.

And, onto my next point, despite the character parallels being wrong, the parallels in the relationship are different too.  Like I said, the parallel isn’t that Obi Wan and Satine aren’t attached like Anakin and Padmé are.  The parallel is that Obitine is actively running from what that attachment means instead of embracing it like Anidala is.  The show would argue that since they try to avoid it, that they are able to live without one another, means they aren’t attached like the Jedi define it, but I argue that they definitely still are attached to a degree because they cannot give each other up.  They held torches for each other from a timerange of 15 YEARS.  Yes I know they spent an entire year together at a young and emotionally volatile point in their lives, but I stand that NO ONE is that hung up on their ex for that long unless there is some serious emotions involved.  Anakin was hung up on Padmé for ten years, and that was because Palpatine was constantly bolstering those affections and reminding him of Padmé.  Obes and Sati both-- or at least Satine, the show always makes Obi Wan’s feelings for Satine in return much more vague --held on to their feelings for five years longer without the influence of a Sith Lord.

And the thing is, they know it.  Obi Wan and Satine are both fully aware that they haven’t been able to shake each other off like they should and that that is a Problem, that’s why they’re both a mite venomous with each other beneath the flirting at first, they’re both extremely frustrated with themselves for not being able to get over this thing they have, and frustrated with the other for being there as an active temptation.

And yet, they still are attached to each other.  They try to avoid it, they definitely try, and that’s what makes them different from Anidala, but they are definitely still attached.  You can see it in Obi Wan’s actions in Voyage of Temptation when Merrik is threatening to blow the ship, the way he hesitates in attacking him because that would be “striking an unarmed man”.  Obi Wan Kenobi does not prefer violence, no, but he has never hesitated to cut a bitch before if it’s for the good of the many.  This is the man who stabbed someone with a fork and threatened to eat him just to maintain his cover as a dangerous criminal.  This is the guy who had no problem killing Zam Wessel for information to protect Padmé.  This is a pragmatist who prefers peaceful solutions, but he does not hesitate if he feels it is a justified offense.  But this time, when an entire shipful of people is at risk, Obi Wan hesitates.  Because he doesn’t want to upset Satine.  Because he’s probably thinking on how she told him that if he had killed the last terrorist they encountered, she wouldn’t speak to him, how she had criticized every time he used violence to escape Death Watch before.  He hesitates because he’s putting her happiness, just for a second, over the sake of duty.  Do I think that if Anakin hadn’t shown up to save their moral compasses, Obi Wan would have eventually taken out Merrik?  Absolutely; hell, I honestly think Satine might have done it.

But the matter was, Merrik could have pressed the kill switch any second of Obi Wan’s hesitation, and Obi Wan knew that, and was hesitating anyway.

I am calling this attachment solely because if the situation was reversed, if this was Anakin and Padmé in this situation, with Anakin not taking out a dangerous criminal because he doesn’t want to upset Padmé (lol ignoring the fact that Pads 1000% would have shot that bitch, and even if she didn’t, Anakin would because he is perfectly fine with hurting his loved ones’ feelings if he feels it’ll keep them safe), god, the narrative would have eaten Anakin alive.  

No, I won’t take criticism.  I know how the show handles the Anidala dynamic.  It would have shown Obi Wan popping up to take out the baddie as him doing the right thing and saving the day, and then Anakin would have been shamed for letting his feelings for his wife get in the way of protecting a shipful of people.  THAT would be the Vader foreshadowing, none of this “only a cold-blooded killer” shit, no way would they ever stick that label on Obi Wan.

So yeah, I’m going off of the fact that if that would have been classified as attachment for Anidala-- which, it would, then. it counts for Obitine.

And then Obi Wan and Satine continue to be hung up on each other for the rest of the eps they’re in, Satine saying in words multiple times how much she loves and cares about him and wishes things could be different, and Obi Wan performing it in actions, risking his own neck and political standing to help her even when she’s a fugitive, probably personally putting in to send his own grandpadawan to help her later.  Right up to the time when Satine decides that she is going to call Obi Wan when she is deposed.  Not the Senate.  Not any powerful politician friends.  Not even the Jedi Order or the Council as a whole.  She calls and addresses her distress call to Obi Wan alone.  And Obi Wan, as now revealed to us by TCW S7, defies Council orders and breaks a century old neutrality treaty to try and bust her, a convicted murderer in the eyes of the Republic and Mandalore, out.  He didn’t even know Maul had her.  Just knew she was in danger and came running to her aid.  He risks starting a potential war to come save her.  They acted so in love that Vizsla was able to guess from being around them for like five seconds, and was able to tell Maul exactly who he would need to bait Obi Wan.

That is where the attachment comes from.  It’s the fact that Obi Wan and Satine tried so, so hard to give each other up and do the right thing, but when it came down to it, they couldn’t lose the other one so they put them first when logically they shouldn’t.  And thus, Satine ended up dead.

Now I know most people will argue with me that actually Filoni means that since they didn’t stay together after the year on the run, THAT is what makes them able to give each other up, and also the fact that Obi Wan didn’t go dark side and murder everyone when Satine died.

But I still think that at least the murder front is a fairly low bar to cross, and anyway, that just because they could live without each other didn’t mean they weren’t still attached.  Anakin and Padmé were apart for 10 years and then even after that, they were apart almost constantly during the war.  Just because they could live apart or even past the other’s death didn’t mean they weren’t attached, as they both still had not let the other go mentally and also broke rules to try and ensure the other would not die, even if the rules said they should let it happen.

So yeah, that’s my big theory.  We can’t compare Obitine with Anidala by saying Obitine was a success story, we compare them by acknowledging that both struggled with attachments and letting the other go, but Obitine at least tried to the bitter end to do the right thing while Anidala didn’t really bother, and both ended up with dead women and broken men regardless, and that is the true sad parallel to me.

[mothsandbutterflies13]

Shadow and Bone Pt 2

The General/The Darkling/Aleksander Morozova: I like this character. Like, a lot. It helps that he's the epitome of "Tall, Dark, and Handsome" (TDH) but Aleksander Morozozva, as a person, is so interesting. There are so many things I'd like to pick his brain on; human nature, court politics, the war with Fjerda and Shu Han, Zlatan and his independence movement, etc. As a character, I wish they had injected some more darkness into him. I get it, the show is supposed to be marketed towards a younger audience, so it's not logical to have your tall, dark heartthrob be a literal jackass with no redeemable points. I applaud the show for giving him a more human side to him, but I also wish they would be clear on which couple is endgame. B/c if Darklina is endgame, I don't think you're doing enough to sell it. And if it's not, then you're doing waaaaay too much to sell it.

Alina Starkov: I love the actress. She seems so funny and kind. Her biracial status is just an added bonus. As a character, though… let's just say, Alina might not be a Mary Sue, but she's not not one either. Let me explain. I can't say I was thrilled to hear Alina Starkov was written as biracial in the show. It just felt like they were trying to score diversity points in being able to cast Jessie Mei Li as the female lead in a major TV production. I mean, in the context of the universe of Shadow and Bone, it was fine. I guess. But we really only get one piece of dialogue wherein Alina is discriminated against by the army camp cook for her different looks (which, if we're talking different looks, Mal looks waaaay more Shu Han than Alina, but that's just my opinion) and the confrontation with the tsarista and the maid's comment about changing her eyes, but that was about it. And Botkin, who looks and sounds like a Shu Han, NEVER comments on her appearance. For some people, that's great, it means he doesn't see her any different than anyone else. However, in a country where Ravkans sometimes openly discriminate against anyone that looks Shu Han (not Fjerdan cuz they look way too similar to their southern neighbors🙄🙄), you'd think Botkin would give Alina some advice or, I don't know, impart some knowledge about their shared cultural heritage!? If you're going to portray a character as a different race than she was (implied) in the books, AND make a big deal out of it, I should think you'd at least TRY and highlight why this change was necessary or important. But, if you're not going to do that, then please don't emphasize that particular fact. Just treat her like you would if she were of Caucasian descent.

And don't give me the same-old speel about representation. As an American-born Chinese, I grew up in a predominantly white town where I only had a few classmates who looked like me. I know what it means to be discriminated against or never seeing someone who looked like me on TV or in movies. I don't like watching the animated Mulan movie because she was a Chinese princess amongst a sea of white princesses. I like her because she doesn't take shit from anyone, not even her commanding officer. However, I identified the most with Belle because we were both bookworms and saw the beauty in the written word.

As for her powers… Like I said above, I really want to see what she could do with them. Light + physics = pretty OP.

Ok, so on to some of my biggest gripes with Alina.

One. She's angry that Aleksander has kept her letters from Mal and Mal's letters from her, leading her to believe that Mal doesn't care about her. As a way to woo the heart of possibly the only girl who'll ever be your equal, definitely not the best move. But as a general in charge of an army of grisha who now has finally found the one person who could make all his wishes come true, a necessary evil. True, Aleksander is half a millennia old, you'd think he'd have learned some patience by now. Alternatively, he could just be stubborn and set in his ways because no one has been able to challenge him and he hasn't had to stop and think about the consequences of his actions in terms of the individuals it will affect in a long time. However, in terms of what he could've done (send Mal on some impossible mission that was 100% going to get him killed) (Ok, yes, so the hunt for Morozova's stag probably should've been that, but we're not here to talk about what-ifs), confiscating their letters to each other was practically not even in the top 100. So, I honestly don't get why she seemed to make a mountain out of a mole hill.

Two. Aleksander didn't disclose that he was the Black Heretic and that he was planning to get the stag to be able to control Alina and her powers. I mean… would youdivulge your deepest, darkest secret to someone you just met not even a week before? Especially when it's about something as big as this. No? Point made. As to his plans for the amplifier, it's not like he could've known what the Sun Summoner was going to be like. And this goes back to my point before, that he can't see the trees for the forest because he's used to thinking in big-picture terms and what's best for the grisha as a whole, not the individual person. If you can't predict what this nebulous person is going to be like, you might as well hold all the control in your hands so as not to leave anything up to chance. Maybe Alina just can't see the forest for the trees.

Three. The above points are why (probably, most likely) why she chose Mal over Aleksander in the finale. Oh my God, I don't even know where to start. First of all, I have it on good authority (from someone who's read the books) that Alina is never Mal's first choice (and for that rant, I suggest you read the next point below before coming back to this one) but she still chooses him. When there's a perfectly good, emotionally-available, TDH man who accepts you, boils and all, standing. RIGHT. THERE. Second, this teaches young girls a bad precedent (granted, book!Darkling was a jackass so maybe not him). Why hang onto a guy who's made it clear to you, through his actions, that he'll never see you as his #1? Why waste your time, money, affections for someone like him? He doesn't deserve it and he CERTAINLY doesn't deserve you! You should only be with someone who treats you like a princess, who makes it clear to you that you have been, are, and always will be his #1. (I'm assuming the other person is male, but you don't have to read it like that. Don't @ me.) Trust me, Zhi Hua chasing after Yong Qi in HZIII scared me enough as a child and I have no desire to go through something like that in real life.

Mal: "This is why I have such a problem with Malina as endgame! If they were endgame, why is Mal always treating her like a second choice and Alina always content with the scraps he throws at her?! At least, with Aleksander, Alina was, is, and always will be his first choice and he makes it ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY clear he thinks the world of her! I thought Aleksander was the kind of guy we were taught to grab and hold on to, not some childhood bestie who always puts you on the backburner!" That's all I have to say for this one.

Zoya: I would have liked to see some complexity in this character, other than the whole "unrequited love for the Darkling". Granted, I only saw a quarter of the show, so I don't know about later episodes.

As for the Crows, I wish I had seen more complexity and character backstory from Kaz. Jesper is amazing but, my favorite has to be Inej because she's fulfilling all my Assassin dreams!

My sister claims I'm expecting too much out of a TV show that is based on a YA fantasy novel series, and maybe I am. I just want to see a well-made fantasy TV series or movie with a great cast that has amazing acting chops, beautiful set pieces, intricate costuming, and a well-written plotline with a dash of sarcasm and wit. Is that really so hard to ask for?

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

To distract myself from this awful political scene I'm forced to watch for history class: can you give us some obscure side characters (like, Dr. Diminutive, Newton the Gnu, type characters) you absolutely love for no reason? :) <3

Okay I am literally so late because I was doing my chem reading and my writing hw BUT I can’t refuse a chance to scream about my favorite characters (but y’all can refuse to listen to my scream about them so here’s a cut)

First of all, I want you to know that I haven’t even started listing characters yet and this ask has already lead me to spend almost $4 on Agent P’s Guide to Fighting Evil and that’s why I don’t look at the PnF wiki when I’m tired thank you for coming to my TED talk

I almost feel like I’m cheating by starting with Dr. Diminuitve but HOW CAN I NOT LIKE TELL ME THAT LIL MAN IS NOT THE BEST CHARACTER THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN OKAY FUCKIN DO IT JUST KIDDING YOU CAN’T I mean come on, one of his first lines was literally “I don’t have a Napoleon complex; Napoleon had a ME complex!” I had to check the wiki to see if that was his first line ever and I’m very disappointed that it wasn’t and then in OWCA’s Going Down when all the evil scientists were just vibin against the fence and they started doing that West Side Story snappy walk and Diminutive was so into the snaps that he just didn’t fucking move and then he opened his eyes and the rest of the gang was halfway off the screen fjdskhfkalsfhaskl I just really love him okay the more I think about it the more convinced I am that he’s actually my favorite character

Idk if this counts as an obscure side character but he is incredibly underrated so I gotta throw in: LAWRENCE FUCKING FLETCHER. He’s just such a pure and innocent lil dude. He sees the boys doing dangerous shit and he’s just like, “Well that’s happening,” or better yet, “Hey, that looks fun!” I mean, the airplace? The flying carpet? The monster trucks? He genuinely gives zero fucks and I love him for it. I wholeheartedly believe that Lawrence knows Perry is a secret agent -- or at least that he’s smarter than he acts -- but he’s literally so indifferent to everything going on around him that he never mentions it because life is full of fun and exciting things like that and he can’t talk about them all, you know? And he gets so excited about his antiques and he’s so passionate about history and ughhhh I love him 

I was about to say I feel like I’m cheating by using a special but it just occurred to me that that’s lowkey how I’ve prefaced all of these so no, fuck that, I’m using a special and that’s just how it’s gonna be. CARL FROM THE LAND OF INTERNUS WOULD HAVE MADE A MUCH BETTER ENDING THAN THE ACTUAL BOOK HAD AND FUCK YOU MONOGRAM FOR CUTTING CARL OFF BEFORE HE COULD TELL IT HOW HE WANTED TO

These two kinda go hand-in-hand but Bunka Da Bunkaquan and Sweary the Swan are my favorite alternative Perrys. As far as the specials go, Steampunx isn’t one of my favorites, but Sweary the Swan is just... How do you even describe Sweary the Swan? He is life. He is the reason I wake up in the morning. He is the only thing worth living for. And then Bunka Da Bunkaquan is just so fuckin cute and anyone who disagrees needs their eyes checked. And tbh while we’re talking about Tri-Stone area, I gotta throw in a mention of Doofengung no of course I didn’t have to google what his name was what are you talking about because I love how he just stares at the water and every time it drips he just fuckin cackles lmaooo

Okay one more special (maybe) but Doofenshmirtz in The Temple of Juatchadoon brooo I just googled it to make sure I spelled that right and I did woah my power is unmatched is lowkey my favorite Doofenshmirtz. I don’t know if it’s because I actually like him more than every other Doof or if it’s just because his first scene was with Phineas Ohio Flynn and they knew each other and they had actual interactions throughout the episode and the Doof/Phineas relationship is my favorite underexplored relationship, but Juatchadoon Doof makes the list anyway

The “what did you think, _________ was just going to fall out of the sky?” couple — who 100% deserved that cameo in catu

I’m almost afraid to say this in public, but I actually really like Roger. I was mostly indifferent to him at first, but then Delivery for Destiny happened and I was like wait a minute, why am I sleeping on his man who literally orders boxes just to give to his cat? And once I realized that he was kinda cool, it started sinking in that he was never actually a bad guy. Heinz never even really claimed he was -- if anything, his problem is that Roger isn’t a bad guy, and everyone in Gimmelshtump and Danville knows it. And I gotta give Roger credit for not being too harsh on his brother, because yeah, he can be a little stuck up (I’m looking at you, stupid golf game), but you can’t really blame him for thinking he’s better than Heinz, you know? But at least he’s not a dick about it like their parents are. Also the entire latter half of this paragraph was me trying to find a way to work in the other part of that scene with the cat box and it didn’t work so I’m just gonna tack it on to the end because this isn’t an essay for English class and I can do that lmao. Paul mentions that he just delivered something to a Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and Roger is like 😬 because let’s be real, no one wants to be represented by the type of dude to try to juice City Hall, but he’s obviously not going to say that because he’s still a respectful dude, so he’s just like “Charming... man... isn’t he...” and he’s literally so uncomfortable and it cracks me up every time but also it’s lowkey kinda wholesome because Heinz may make it his life mission to embarrass his brother but Roger doesn’t reciprocate. but I accidentally discovered a few weeks ago that John O’Hurley is a raging Trump supporter so I gotta dock points for that one

In the same vein, Paul the delivery guy. What more do I have to say?

If my love of Roger didn’t turn the world against me, this one probably will, but I’m going to say it loud and proud anyway. I LOVE PETER THE PANDA. He’s just??? so??? cute??? Like when he was tearing apart Doof’s inator and he was just... actually no scratch that I need pictures for this because I can’t explain this in words

THIS IS NOT EITHER OF THE PICTURES I WAS LOOKING FOR BUT LOOK AT THIS LITTLE GUY OH MY GOD

Peter really said “this bitch empty, YEET!”

okay but the ones I was actually looking for are...

I mean, how can you not find him adorable? And don’t even get me started on his relationship with Perry because Meapless in Seattle was just... B R O Perry flew halfway across the country (probably I mean idk where exactly Danville is but they use EST so Seattle is probably halfway across the country?) just to go grab a coffee with him. They went on a lil date at a fancy restaurant I know Dan said it wasn’t a date but he's been wrong in the tiktok comments before which means none of his opinions are canon lmao. They’re just? So? Cute? I don’t even know what to make of their relationship but I live for it.

And I can’t mention Peter without bringing up his nemesis, who, to be entirely honest, I also don’t know what to make of and he’s mostly on this list because I like the line “How did you get chorus girls in here?” and when I downloaded and cut a bunch of songs that you can download from Google Drive here if you want, I specifically kept that part in because I love it lmao (I do gotta point out tho because it’s been bugging me since I last watched the episode: I don’t think we have any proof that Professor Mystery even exists in the PnF dimension. I had just assumed he did for the longest time, but that entire episode takes place in a dimension where Lawrence is a polar bear. Who knows what other differences there are?)

I love all the grandparents and I don’t even have an explanation they’re just all adorable

Okay I know I said no more specials but TECHNICALLY at2d isn’t a special; it’s a movie. I am physically incapable of not brining up the muffin time Normbot and the “I use aggression to mask my insecurites” Normbot.

While we’re talking about Norm, his old head would 100% swear all the fucking time if it wasn’t a kids’ show and i gotta respect it

Dan Povenmire does one line for a dude named Vinnie in Mission Marvel and off the top of my head I don’t remember who he is but it was the beginning of the episode and I think (?) it was during the New York scene and he does it in the Vinnie Dakota voice long before Dakota was even a concept (I’m assuming) so he gets a mention

Jerry the Platypus gives me Paper Jam Dipper vibes and they are both valid as fuck (the fucked up Doof copy is not valid as fuck tho we’re gonna pretend he didn’t exist)

Don is literally the best part of Where’s Pinky and I’m not just saying that because I’ve been watching Whose Line for years and I was super excited to see Wayne Brady in the credits (and the fact that he was also in both the quarantine rap and catu makes me incredibly happy)

Ooh I almost forgot OWCA Files existed but Harry the Hyena playing the trumpet and the subsequent “you’re gonna be wearing that in a minute” is the best part of OWCA Files and tbh just Doof, Perry, and Harry could have carried an entire series by themselves (though I do also love Karen and Maggie)

WAIT A SECOND THE BUG TRIO FJDSAHFLKSAJD I was trying to pick a favorite last time I watched OWCA Files and every time one of them spoke they were my new favorite like I lowkey thought their plotline was boring but the characters themselves were hilarious

WAIT ANOTHER SECOND HOW DID I GET THIS FAR INTO THE LIST WITHOUT MENTIONING MONTY HOLY SHIT I’M SUCH A FAKE FAN BUT I LOVE MONTY OKAY HE IS LITERALLY JUST OZ FROM BTVS EXCEPT MONTY AND VANESSA HAVE BETTER CHEMISTRY THAN OZ AND WILLOW AND NO I WILL NOT BE ACCEPTING CRITICISM

Wait I forgot Vlorkel too omfg these two belong way higher on the list but Vlorkel is the love of my life (and I lowkey wish she had met Steve the giant chameleon because they would have become best friends)

I wanna keep going but it’s currently 1:45 in the morning (this is why I’ve been avoiding asks during the day: I get way too into them and spend a solid hour and a half on them and I’d never get any schoolwork done lmao) and it’s far from the first time I’ve stayed up this late but I figured it was fine because I have no classes tomorrow but it occurred to me like four seconds ago that I DO HAVE A CLASS TOMORROW SHIIIIT I had an anatomy exam on Tuesday during my usual class time (which if you read my tags you might have known about because I was having an existential crisis over it) so he moved our class tomorrow excePT IT’S NOT TOMORROW IT’S TODAY IT’S LITERALLY IN LESS THAN SEVEN HOURS FUCKING HELL I GOTTA GO TO BED ASAP

[cvrnelivs]

— ( harry styles, cismale, he/him ) &. * — meet ( cornelius ‘ oliver ’ edwards ) ! ( he ) is ( twenty five ) years old and has lived in st. helens for ( two ) years . when they’re not helping the town prepare for halloween , they work as a ( baker ) . around here, they’re known to be ( idealistic ) & ( intuitive ) yet ( unpredictable ) & ( destructive ) and apparently their favorite fall activity is ( visiting the farmer’s market ) . safe to say it really wouldn’t be halloweentown without them !

hiya! i am kt &+ underneath the read more is a LOT of info about my bb, cornelius/oliver. ** insert clown emoji but make ‘em yee-haw ** if you’d like to plot you can reach me on here or at space cowboy#8536 on discord !! <33 v excited to interact with y’all and your bbs !!

( DISCLAIMER : THIS IS LONG - WOW !!! just felt a lot of muse !!! apologies !!  ) 

𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘

name: cornelius oliver edwards.

nicknames: ollie, ol, lee !! literally whatever - “hey, you” dkjfgn

gender: cismale. pronouns: he, him.

age: twenty-five.

birthday: june 27th.

zodiac: cancer !!

orientation: pansexual / panromantic.

occupation: baker // aspiring filmmaker.

languages spoken: english & french.

𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

- PINTEREST - featuring his wardrobe, his home, his aesthetic, some character inspo and olive, his german shepard pup !!

- SPOTIFY PLAYLIST - what oliver is currently listening to !!

personality type: INFJ-T / THE ADVOCATE

moral alignment: chaotic good

style-wise: oliver is v stylish, but isn’t overly flashy by any means. he’s intuitive in the sense of what works and what doesn’t. willing to explore the latest wardrobe craze, but also just likes what he likes and likely won’t venture out unless pressed by another to do so. post coming soon for his wardrobe !!! they say that the cancer man’s clothing is selected to reflect “ sophistication over flash “ but kdgjn i’ll let ya’ll be the judge of that. he’s v much harry inspired clothing wardrobe, but also tones it down with some casual looks, especially with being in the bakery and getting his hands dirty in creative aspects !!

𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖌𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉

   oliver was born in kent, england. he’s the youngest in his family of three, having an older brother and sister w/ two loving parents. when he was nine, his family packed up and moved to southern california, where they resided until oliver left for college on the east coast - his family trading off between living back in england and on the west coast throughout the year. upon moving to a new country at a young age, oliver truly found himself via escaping into various books and movies. often attempting to write his own and would force encourage his siblings to act his skits/plays out for his parents enjoyment. growing up, oliver also enjoyed playing all types of sports ( his parents kind of threw him in hoping he’d make friends ), but when it came down to it, athletic abilities-wise, there truly wasn’t anything that he wasn’t ‘ good ‘ at, and that’s simply because he’s always been such a competitive individual / as well as a perfectionist. that competitive/perfectionist energy caused him to go home and practice a skill or trick for hours in order to be able to come back the next day and whoop everyone’s asses. throughout highschool ; oliver was a v dedicated student. although he’s a bit reckless and loved to goof off, he was always acing classes and applying himself. he genuinely cares for others, you could’ve seen his ass volunteering at a soup kitchen with his mom on sundays and what not, as well as take part in various clubs and sports ! just SOFT and sportythings.

   post-high school, oliver attended NYU double majoring in film & television and dramatic writing. despite his extensive and well received portfolio, oliver has always been a perfectionist and overcritical of his work, unwilling to share his projects with anyone until he deems them to be ~ perfect ~ himself. after graduating, he spent a year traveling, trying to find a bit of inspiration around him and taking up odd jobs to get some $$ of his own, dog walking, attempting his best at being a handy man, etc !! he moved back home to socal, and eventually made his way up to st.helen’s after he was sent a job posting for the bakery in town !! although he knows he doesn’t want to pursue a career in baking forever, he’s enjoying his time while trying to find a bit more muse for his future film&writing career.

   overall, oliver can come off as a bit reserved, and distant whether that be a result of his untrusting nature of others, or simply unfamiliarity. it takes a bit of time before he feels comfortable to share his true opinion / commentary / only doing so when he feels secure to do so. he’s not necessarily unfriendly, just a bit distant / lost in his thoughts. which varies, as with most ppl ofc, upon person to person and his level of comfortability among them. despite his often lack of conversation, he abhors an uncomfortable silence to settle and will fill it with nonsense to simply avoid the feeling altogether. so, if you ever want to catch him rambling, just making him uncomfortable dkjfngdf. he definitely approaches most things with a bit of ‘ tough love ‘ . he doesn’t mind getting into a quarrel or two if he knows its worth the outcome he’s envisioned. oliver will tell others when they are fucking up, and if they are throwing a punch as a result - catch him leaning into it, which explains his bout of reckless antics. he can come off as a know it all, when it comes to advice giving, but more so because he thinks he’s really good at analyzing others and situations they are in, not necessarily because he’s lived through them himself, he’s just rather intuitive and able to empathize quite easily with others despite his verbal admittance of it. when it comes down to this binches reckless bits, he just feels so intensely that he ends up numbing himself in the aftermath of it all ( especially bc he’s definitely not sharing those feelings with the people around him ), therefore he’s willing to put himself into harms way in order to get a bit of that - happiness / pain, it doesn’t matter to him as long as he no longer feels overwhelmed by numbness. so, if ya see him with some scrapes and stitches ~ mind ya business. but he’ll likely try to drag somebody else into it, and make it seem like it was their idea. but if he is truly comfortable with somebody, he walks a fine line of won’t stop talking, especially if it’s an interest of his, and comfortable silence.

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞 & 𝖍𝖆𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖘

he is a CANCER, therefore in this essay i will..... kidding but here’s some fun cancer info i saw that applies to my bb !! at first he appears to be wistful, sarcastic ( maybe a lil crabby ) , shy, distant and mysterious. this personality remains if he isn’t completely comfortable around somebody. but overall, that’s just his facade, his ‘smokescreen’ of sorts to scare off the world from his outwards persona. underneath that layer ( makes me think of shrek metaphor with onions // don’t mind me ), BUT he’s gentle, kind and affectionate ( if you manage to make it to that level * bell dings * ) !!! overall, oliver is a sensitive soul, a bit emotional although he’d rather d*e than show that to others. likely will internalize anything that can hurt his feelings / a low blow and will do something chaotic as a result later on bc of it. very polite, and a little worldly, he is truly the epitome of old-school gentlemanly manners. chivalry coming as a second nature to him !!

that was getting ramble-y, so continuing HERE. but when it comes to romance, as per the cancer man, the concept of love is a mystery, one that oliver is trying to attain. however, his shyness and innate distrust of others make it difficult for him to allow himself to fall in love. his guard is always up when it comes to his emotions, and it’ll take a bit of prodding before he’s willing to speak up on what’s desired from him. he’s v picky when it comes to finding the “ partner of his dreams “ - but he’s def willing to throw himself into the romance of the situation, i.e. buying flowers, riding white horses, and slaying metaphorical dragons. the traditional side means that he will shower his partner with thoughtful gifts, wine and dine them in the best restaurants, and try to grant their every wish. he will take the garbage out, fix that wobbly shelf, navigate on road trips, and kill more so trap and release bugs for his partner, and most important of all he will do it all without being asked. his loyalty and keen attention to the needs and wants of his potential partner. so basically, more so willing to showcase through actions than speak on it. it’s the little things, right ??!?!?! he def cherishes not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person in mind, body, and soul.

prides himself on being able to make a mean cup of coffee, likely the worst person to watch a movie with bc he knows exactly how it’s going to end after only watching five minutes of it, he has a godawful sense of direction, will walk in circles for fifteen minutes before even raising a question about it/noticing ( but he refuses to acknowledge it. )

his house, car, workspace, junk drawer, closet….you name it - it’s organized, practically sparkling. often times arranged by color, and / or style. nothing is ever out of place, and if it is - there’s trouble brewing. but, more than anything, if he’s visiting somebody’s place and it’s messy, he will spend a solid thirty minutes picking everything up before doing whatever it is that was intended.

likes : reading, flowers, handwritten notes/letters, deep cleaning, baking, curating soundtracks for his film projects, watching the history channel and true crime docs and playing / watching hockey !!

dislikes : artichoke, clutter, sandals ( fkjgh ), unrealistic plotlines in movies &+ burnt coffee.

habits : smoking cigarettes - although he’s been meaning to quit. likely has a severe caffeine addiction, although he’s now normalized having six cups of coffee throughout his day. he’s an early riser, no matter how little the amount of sleep he’s received, he’s always the first to rise - for his early morning runs !!

strengths: creative, insightful, inspiring, convincing, determined and passionate, decisive, altruistic, intuitive !!

weaknesses: sensitive, extremely private, perfectionist, low-key always needs to have a cause / purpose, can burn out easily !! 

overall : oliver truly strives to be kind, and genuinely wants for everyone to get along. treat people with kindness and the like. he has the best of intentions, but often times that can get a bit muddled with the way he goes about things due to his bit of chaotic energy / as well as his often points of getting lost in his thoughts. he won’t realize he’s been quiet for the last three hours unless it’s mentioned to him. he will do anything to lighten a dark mood, and will sacrifice / throw himself under the bus if its needed. however, he also is the type to cause the dark mood depending on the day. wahoo! his more reckless antics increase when he’s feeling a bit emotional !! but he’ll likely try and convince somebody to propose the idea so it’s not on him. 

𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘

in an attempt to throw himself into the town’s traditions and what not, after moving to st. helen’s oliver decided it was upon himself to put on a very spooo0ooky haunted house! so, catch him converting his home into a haunted house for the month of october !!! nothing cheesy either !! it’s more a psychological scare dkjgn with some gore elements !! EnTeR iF yOu DaRe !!!

he bounced around playing sports growing up, but favored ice hockey and field lacrosse out of them all.

HE WANTS TO JOIN A BOOKCLUB PLEASE !!!!!!!! or at least have some casual moments of silence with another reading. plz and tysm.

he is a vegetarian ! he has been since his freshman year of high school and has no plans on eating seafood/meat ever again.

he loves fancy wine ~ he’s cultured. visits seb’s winery v often !!!

he can play the drums !!

he collects vintage matchbooks and the stickers off of various fruits ( he puts them in a little notebook - can be found on his bookshelf ).

saves handwritten notes and letters from pals.

he loves to garden !!!! he has a specified rose shearing hat.

to make things a bit simple, he has all of harry’s tattoos !!  might add more along the way !! stay tuned, folks !!

𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘

honestly, i am so up for anything !!! please accept this ramble of ideas thrown below.  if you have any other ideas, lmk !!!! <3333 :’-)

( 2 / 2 ) - BFFZ : the z for an added emphasis dkfjgnd. somebody who likely has a key to oliver’s house, they can enjoy one anothers company as well as the bouts of comfortable silence. you know how best friends are but kdjfngd still !! whether they are likeminded or polar opposites that just flow ~~ down for anything !! even a trio of sorts ?!

( 0 / ?? ) - MUSE(S) : somebody that he often strikes inspo from for his short films and what not !! or has starred/he plans to have them star in his future compilations of sorts !! can be simply from their own ideals, their look / ~vibe~ dkfjgn // whatever !!

( 1 / 1 ) - RIDE OR DIE / CHAOTIC COMPANION : it would be wrong to say one is the more likely the bad influence over the other, although oliver may just be. these two find themselves bounding into, well hell, ( i guess??? ) together. playing on one anothers impulsiveness and if one ends up in the back of a police car, the other is handcuffed to them. and yet despite the length of their potential injuries, they find themselves thinking of something crazier to subject them to the next time around.

( 1 / 1 ) - GUARDIAN ANGEL / GOOD INFLUENCE : with ollie being a bit chaotic in nature, he needs somebody that is likely going to steer him clear from all the ideas that’ll bring him to the brink of disaster. he’s impulsive and in that desperate attempt to feel again, he’s very likely to bring a bit of mayhem upon himself. so while they may be worrying and attempting to talk his ideas down, he’s trying to get them to go along with his plan. it may be rare that he actually takes their advice, but when he does it seems to be for the best.

( 0 / 1 ) - PARTY FRIEND : these two know how to have a good time together. despite the amount of alcohol they are throwing back and the shenanigans they find themselves in as a result, this is a time where they also find themselves confiding in one another. if you look at their camera rolls, it’s likely they have tons of embarrassing and unflattering videos and pics of one another, in between their sob-worthy confessionals and venting/rants. these two trust one another, and although they love getting wreckT together, they find themselves discussing very raw and personal details. likely the only person oliver confides in, simply bc he’s completely plastered.

( 1 / 1 ) - SIBLING-LIKE RELATIONSHIP : these two have a love/hate relationship, very sibling like filled with pranks, competition, teasing and playful banter. however, when it comes down to it they have so much love and respect for one another. they know that no matter what happens they will always have one anothers back and be supportive of the other. truly a pure content filled relationship.

okay quick mention, ENEMY PLOTS ?!?!?!?!?!? i would live for one. i can’t imagine oliver being hardcore nasty, but i’d like to see whatever version comes out for this. so let’s get it djfngjakdfg maybe they just hold different viewpoints on the world and what not and clash, anything really !!! v open !!

( 1 / 1 ) - MENTOR - oliver needs a bit of structured or unstructured guidance, all depending on what their deemed mentor is wanting to impart on him, a bit of wisdom or slight chaos. kdjfgn he’ll take anything !! life advice in any and all aspects. maybe they come into the bakery, or maybe they help him with his garden. who knows, i certainly don’t know how they met, but we’ll figure it out ?!?!

RANDOM LITTLE IDEAS : maybe they’ve heard of one another in town, but haven’t quite met yet! or maybe they see each other around all the time, but have yet to introduce themselves to one another but low-key maybe in some online forum for the town together ?! who knows some fun things kdjnfg i AM OPEN !

ooh maybe a slowburn of sorts ?! something spicy to wreck ollie’s and my life with.  dkfjgn we can base this off of chemistry !!! :’-) 

[bugheadfamily]

Bughead Family Discord Member Spotlight

This week the spotlight is on Mari ( @writeraquamarinara )! Click the read more link below to get to know our member!

Spotlight by Mila, @jughead-jones | Graphic by Katie, @betty-cooper

Mari | @writeraquamarinara

Name: Mari

Age: 18

Location: Montreal, QC.

Any other languages aside from English people can contact you in?: Italian.

Favourite Riverdale characters and ships?: Betty, Jughead, Pop, Fred, Mary, Kevin, Joaquin, Bughead, Joavin, and Choni.

Favourite moments from S1 & S2?: The scene that got me hooked to the show was when Reggie questioned Jughead about killing Jason, and he replied with a snarky little “It’s called necrophilia, Reggie. Can you spell it?” Other favorite moments are pretty much any Bughead scene from S1, but especially their first kiss. I had been shipping them together since the Blue and Gold scene in 1x03, but 1x06 really hit me hard. They’re both two broken kids who find solace in each other. As someone whose mother is all too similar to Alice Cooper, hearing Jughead tell Betty that they aren’t their parents made me so emotional. I rewatched that scene on repeat when the clip came out on Youtube the next day. To this day I can’t listen to Emily Afton’s Lost without crying. I also really love the hug from 1x13 after Betty, Veronica, and Archie go to Southside High for Juggie. S2 favorite moments are also only Bughead scenes, but not all Bughead scenes, if you catch my drift.

What are your hopes for S3?: Are a coherent plotline and consistent characterization too much to ask for? Also maybe have the parents on the show (other than Archie’s) actually respect their children and treat them well, but that’s never going to happen. On a more realistic note, I’m hoping to watch some fun interactions between Josie and Kevin now that they’re going to be step-siblings.

Other fandoms you’re into?: I don’t really have an online presence in other fandoms, but I do love to geek out over Percy Jackson, That 70s Show (specifically JackiexHyde), The Office, Parks and Rec, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and nearly all of the Marvel movies.

What are some of your favourite movies/TV?: As I mentioned: That 70s Show, The Office, Parks and Rec, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and Marvel. I’m currently bingeing The Good Place and The Mindy Project. I also went to watch Crazy Rich Asians in theaters and loved it. So basically I’m trash for rom and com. Sue me. (Or don’t. I’m a broke college student who can’t afford that ish.)

Favourite books?: The Book Thief, The Color Purple, Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America’s Shining Women, Pride and Prejudice, and, most of all, The Glass Castle.

Favourite bands/musicians?: Nina Simone, Alicia Keys, ABBA, Of Monsters and Men, Christina Perri, and Imagine Dragons. 

If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?: I thought a lot about this question. The obvious answer would be “one with magic, or mermaids, or superheroes”. But then I thought that I’d rather live in a world like ours, more realistic, but where women are equal to men, diversity is celebrated, people accept each other for who they are. That’s a very idealistic world, I realize, and (if my preteen love of dystopian novels has taught me anything) one that’s most definitely unattainable, but it’s still nice to think about it. If anyone knows of a fictional world like that, sign me up.

Favourite food?: Gosh, that’s a hard one. Probably my grandma’s lasagna.

Favourite season?: Fall, definitely. It’s my birthday season, and I love the colorful leaves and breezy weather and going apple-picking with my family and friends. Unfortunately, Canada’s fall doesn’t last much more than a day, so I missed out on all that this year.

Favourite plant?: Nelumbo nucifera, aka the Lotus Flower.

Favourite scent?: Aftershave? Weird, I know, but it reminds me of my childhood and my father.

Favourite colour?: Periwinkle.

Favourite animal?: Hummingbird.

Are you a night owl, an early bird, or a vampire?: Night owl, definitely.

Place you want to visit?: The Alhambra Palace in Granada, Spain, the Jameh Mosque of Isfahan in Iran, and Ryoanji in Japan.

Do you have pets? If you do, tell us a little about them: I don’t have any pets that live with me currently, but I’ve got a pet back home with my parents. She’s a rescued pup from Mississippi, probably some kind of mix between a Pointer and a Labrador Retriever. Her name’s Sassy and she’s super energetic. If you had asked me this question a week ago I would’ve also said I had a cat named Puma but he was twelve and had cancer, so…yeah.

Tell us a little about yourself?: Um, I never really know what to say to that question. Like, what do you really want to know? I’m Mari (the name comes from my AO3/tumblr username, and not my real name). I was born in New Jersey, grew up in New York and Italy, now go to university in Montreal. I’m super passionate about art history, women’s rights, and politics. I hope to be a dermatologist, but honestly, who knows where life will take me. I’m the oldest of four and the first in my family to go through the American school system, so my parents have always referred to me as their “guinea pig”, and that totally hasn’t given me a weird obsession with being the perfect child, perfect student, perfect daughter. For some very obvious reasons, I relate way too much to Betty Cooper.

Fun or weird fact about you?: I fenced competitively for eight years of my life, traveling all around the US and to Europe for training and national competitions, including the Junior Olympics.

Asks for fanfic authors:

How long have you been writing?: I’ve been writing since I was little, but they were always stories with original characters. I didn’t start writing fic until I was sixteen, nearly seventeen, so it’s been a little over a year.

Which is your favourite of the fics you’ve written?: Geez, that’s a tough one. As much as I love my little one shots, I’d have to say Little Talks. It’s largely based on my own high school experience, and therefore my own way of coming to terms with the end of that chapter of my life.

Favourite fic/chapter/plot-point/character you’ve ever written?: Oof. Another tough one. Um, I’d have to say that I really love my characterization of Alice in Blue Sunshine and Golden Rain. She’s a villainess, but hopefully one you love to hate.

Which was the hardest to write, and why?: Again, Blue Sunshine and Golden Rain. I have a bit of a plot twist planned for the story, but I’m really not sure what kind of reception it’s going to get from readers, so I’ve had the chapter half-finished for months. I just need to get the motivation to finish it, and the courage to say “I don’t care if people hate this, or think it’s weird.” I’ll get there eventually.

How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? (examples: Do you draw inspiration from real life? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?) Do you have an process to your writing?: I’ve answered this in a tumblr ask before, but I get inspiration from anywhere and everywhere. Mainly from real life, because I like to observe and speculate and ask a bunch of “what if”s and go from there. So, like I mentioned, Little Talks is largely based on my life. But there are definitely some plot points in the story that are a result of me going “well, what if I had done this? Or he had done that?” Another example of a real life-inspired fic is my oneshot I <3 You, which was inspired by that instastory (Cole or Lili’s? I can’t remember) of a cake with bright orange frosting that spelled out I <3 You. I also take inspiration from other creative works, such as books or movies. One of my many upcoming fics is based on How To Train Your Dragon, and another is a crackfic based on the Suite Life. Other times, fic ideas come to me out of nowhere. I was in the lab last summer, waiting for my breast cancer tumor slides to go through antigen retrieval, when I came up with the idea for Blue Sunshine and Golden Rain. My brain works in very strange ways.

Idea that you always wanted to write?: I’ve always wanted to write a lot of fics (I have a whole list of them), but they’re in the works so I won’t spoil any more than I already have. The main fic that I don’t even have an idea for but just want to write is a heartbreakingly angsty fic. One that makes me cry while I write it. Here’s hoping it comes to me soon, because I feel like that could be a really interesting experience as a writer.

Favourite character to write?: Alice. Which is strange, because I don’t like her in the show, but there are so many different directions you could take her character that she’s always so interesting to me.

Best comment/review you’ve ever received?: Oh, well, all of them? Is that an answer? Because all comments and reviews make me super happy. But if I had to choose one then I’d say any comment from @earthlaughsinflowers, @mothermaple, @dottie-wan-kenobi, or @notanotherotherone. I kind of cheated by not picking one, exactly, but oh well.

Best and worst parts of being a writer?: The best part of being a writer is putting a story that you put a lot of your soul into and getting support and love for it. Because I only put stories out there that I’m happy to write, happy to read, but to see that they make other people happy, too? That’s an amazing feeling. The worst part is the amount of time it takes to do absolutely anything, especially when you’re not in the right headspace to write. When I’ve had the worst week ever, and I have to physically push myself to spend time that should be spent resting to write because an update needs to come out soon, it goes from being a fun hobby to being a stress-inducing chore.

Do you have any advice to offer?: I haven’t been a fic writer for a long time, so I wouldn’t say that I’m going to offer up the wisest advice, but here’s what I’ve garnered so far: Do what makes you happy. That goes for all of life, not just writing, and is often hard to follow, but here’s how I see it: If you want to write a story because it makes you happy, write it. If you want to quit your WIP to start something else because that makes you happy, do it. If you need to take a break from writing altogether because it’ll make you happier, take it. Write what you want to write, at the pace you want to write it, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

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This is the twelfth instalment of Bughead Family’s Member Spotlight series. Each week, a member’s url is selected through a randomizer and they will be featured in a spotlight post. In order to participate, please join the Bughead Discord (more information found here). Thank you.

[brigdh]

Reading Saturday

Nemesis Games by James S.A. Corey. Book 6 of The Expanse series. "I made my name with the story on the Behemoth. Aliens and wormhole gates and a protomolecule ghost that only talked to the most famous person in the solar system. I don't think my follow-up to that can be "Humans Still Shitty to Each Other". Lacks panache." That's Monica Stuart, a journalist looking for her next story, but it makes a fairly good summary of Nemesis Games as well – though I'd disagree about it lacking panache. After five books of zombie viruses and a vast galaxy of empty planets for the taking and physics-defying abandoned security systems, Nemesis Games features pretty much no alien content at all. Instead we have humanity reacting to these events, mostly in negative ways that feature them being, well, shitty to each other. The biggest reaction comes from the Belters, millions of humans born and raised in no-gravity or low-gravity. Those conditions have led to extremely low bone-mass (among other physical adaptations), which means all those new planets out there for the taking? The Belters won't be going to them, at least not without months or years of expensive medical therapy that's out of reach for most of them. They can see the future coming, and it's going to abandon them to poverty and irrelevance. They lash out with terrorist attacks on a scale grander than any before, as though enough violence will force humanity back to where it was before the first encounter with the alien protomolecule. That might be an impossible goal, but a hell of a lot of people are going to die anyway. Meanwhile, the spaceship Rocinante is in need of repairs, which means our four main characters are out of action for a few months. They take this opportunity to split up and visit family and old friends – Amos to Earth, Alex to Mars, Naomi to the Belt, and Jim stays with the ship at the repair station. Having separate plotlines means that each one gets their own POV, and you guys, I was so excited! I've been waiting to hear Naomi or Alex's voice since Book One, and this does not disappoint. Amos's narration was particularly well-written; he's a straight-up sociopath (though one who tries to do good nonetheless) and struggles to recognize emotions either in himself or in others, often defaulting to describing social situations as a set of maneuvers toward a desired outcome. It lends his POV a curiously flat tone, but one that is really interesting to read. The four crew members are still separated when the terrorist attacks begin, and most of the emotion in the book comes from them trying to desperately make their way back to one another. Each one thinks of the others as family, as home – this is such an absolute fantastic series for those Chosen Family feels – especially Jim, and who would have thought the boring action hero of Book One could become such an adorable softie? He spends a significant portion of this book being sad that no one will do the space-equivalent of texting him back, and I love him so much. Holden could sit at a tiny table skimming the latest news on his hand terminal, reading messages, and finally check out all the books he’d downloaded over the last six years. The bar served the same food as the restaurant out front, and while it was not something anyone from Earth would have mistaken for Italian, it was edible. The cocktails were mediocre and cheap. It might almost have been tolerable if Naomi hadn’t seemingly fallen out of the universe. Alex sent regular updates about where he was and what he was up to. Amos had his terminal automatically send a message letting Holden know his flight had landed on Luna, and then New York. From Naomi, nothing. She still existed, or at least her hand terminal did. The messages he sent arrived somewhere. He never got a failed connection from the network. But the successfully received message was his only reply. After a couple weeks of his new bad Italian food and cheap cocktails routine, his terminal finally rang with an incoming voice request. He knew it couldn’t be from Naomi. The light lag made a live connection unworkable for any two people not living on the same station. But he still pulled the terminal out of his pocket so fast that he fumbled it across the room. Each character gets to star in a very different genre within this one book: Jim himself is in a political thriller, trying to find the mole hidden in the security forces; Amos is making his way through a post-apocalyptic landscape; Naomi is in a prison-break movie; and Alex gets at least two extremely cool car chases (well, spaceship chases) between being a detective following the paper trail. All of them are great, but I think my favorite is Naomi's, which is an incredible depiction of the harm and suffocation of emotional abuse (gaslighting in particular) and the depression and learned helplessness that can result, especially when everyone around you sees nothing wrong. We get a lot more about her long-awaited backstory, as well as Amos's, and there are reappearances of a lot of my favorite secondary characters: Martian marine Bobbie, failed murderer Clarissa Mao, foul-mouthed politician Chrisjen Avasarala. (Though I'm still holding out hope Prax will show up again someday; I miss him.) All through The Expanse series I've admired Corey's focus on petty human squabbling and politicking in the face of grand, universe-changing discoveries. Nemesis Games is that thread turned up to eleven. It's not a cynical series, though; for every narrow-minded failure there's an equally small but important triumph of friendship or justice or well-meaning. It reminds me of Terry Pratchett, in a way. Not at all in Corey's style of writing or type of humor, but they both have a view of humanity which is simultaneously realistic and fond and exasperated. And if there's a bigger compliment than that, I don't know what it is. Artificial Condition by Martha Wells. Book 2 of the Murderbot Diaries. A security robot/cyborg armed with all sorts of guns and other methods of killing has hacked its governor module, allowing it to do whatever it wants, and nicknames itself Murderbot. But it turns out that what Murderbot really wants to do is spend hours watching dumb sci-fi TV shows, avoid eye contact or any social encounters with humans, and not have to deal with its own emotions. Unfortunately that last one is hard to avoid. In this book, Murderbot is heading to a mining planet where it knows something bad went down in its past, involving lots of human deaths. But Murderbot can't remember exactly what happened, since its memory was wiped, and so it's off to investigate. Getting to the planet means hitching a ride on a spaceship run by a massively complicated AI (which Murderbot promptly nicknames ART: Asshole Research Transport) and then getting a job as a human bodyguard to a group of scientists heading down to the planet's surface. Things, unsurprisingly, go wrong, and Murderbot finds itself with another pack of dumb humans in need of protection. I enjoyed Artificial Condition a lot, but it's not quite as good as the first book in the series, All Systems Red. Part of that is very simply that it's a middle book of the series, and it shows; progress in the larger plot is made, but not much, and there's a feeling of spinning our wheels while we wait for big events to happen. That said, it's still an extremely enjoyable novella (only about 120 pages), which builds out the world from what we learned in All Systems Red. Now we have sexbots and ship navigators, more about how different governments interact and function (or don't), and some hints as to what's going on with the company that created Murderbot. Plus there's Murderbot's wonderful narration, which honestly is worth the price of admission all on its own. A section from where it introduces ART to trashy entertainment: I watched seven more episodes of Sanctuary Moon with it hanging around my feed. Then it pinged me, like I somehow might not know it had been in my feed all this time, and sent me a request to go back to the new adventure show I had started to watch when it had interrupted me. (It was called Worldhoppers, and was about freelance explorers who extended the wormhole and ring networks into uninhabited star systems. It looked very unrealistic and inaccurate, which was exactly what I liked.) [...] “It’s not realistic,” I told it. “It’s not supposed to be realistic. It’s a story, not a documentary. If you complain about that, I’ll stop watching.” I will refrain from complaint, it said. (Imagine that in the most sarcastic tone you can, and you’ll have some idea of how it sounded.) So we watched Worldhoppers. It didn’t complain about the lack of realism. After three episodes, it got agitated whenever a minor character was killed. When a major character died in the twentieth episode I had to pause seven minutes while it sat there in the feed doing the bot equivalent of staring at a wall, pretending that it had to run diagnostics. Then four episodes later the character came back to life and it was so relieved we had to watch that episode three times before it would go on. At the climax of one of the main story lines, the plot suggested the ship might be catastrophically damaged and members of the crew killed or injured, and the transport was afraid to watch it. (That’s obviously not how it phrased it, but yeah, it was afraid to watch it.) I was feeling a lot more charitable toward it by that point so was willing to let it ease into the episode by watching one to two minutes at a time. After it was over, it just sat there, not even pretending to do diagnostics. It sat there for a full ten minutes, which is a lot of processing time for a bot that sophisticated. Then it said, Again, please. So I started the first episode again. C'mon, tell me you wouldn't read a million pages of that, plot or no plot.

[DW link for easier commenting]

[icharchivist]

Thanks for the links I'll be sure to watch them. I like watching analysis on Disney movies. Belle is my most favorite Disney princess. Has been forever. I was eager to see the live action movie until I kept hearing all this stuff about Belle being 'better' smarter and stronger. I was thinking Belle was already perfect. Why fix what's not broken? I'm not sure how any of this is an improvement. Instead of appreciating who Belle is and why her nature ended up destroying a curse to save countless -

2 people and redeem one soul who also proved he was a awesome selfless guy underneath that spoiled attitude. We get a character who we’re suppose to be impressed by her talents or, as you put it, how ahead of her time she was. Original Belle would be special yet easy to misunderstand no matter where or what time period you stuck her in. She was role model for her selfless attitude and independent mindest that didn’t go w/the crowd. She saw past images and cared about what was underneath. -

3 Belle was also relatable because she liked what she liked and felt lonely sge didn’t have friends who liked or accepted her. We all have yearnings to escape a place we feel belittled or trapped in. We all want to have at least 1 person to love us for who we are w/o wanting to completely change us first. But in the remake we got Belle the inventor. I’m not going to relate to someone alone for being an inventor. As you said, I feel like they lost what made Belle Belle when they turned her into -

4 into a mini version of her Father. We didn’t need her to become her dad and inherit her dad’s problems. She had her own problems. Just like what they’re doing w/Jasmine. Once again I thought the Aladdin remake looked fun until they talked about Jasmine veing a stronger version. She’s into politics and stuff. Forget that Jasmine wanted to marry for love and stood defiant against her well meaning Father’s picks for a husband. All men who only wanted her for status. That she was brave enough to-5 escape her sheltered world to be herself. That she never once looked down on Aladdin or anyone for being a street rat and treated him like a equal worthy of respect. She’s never once impressed w/material gain and showed more awe for a kind thief’s world then a boastful Prince’s magical parade that enchanted everyone else. That she stood up to Jafar of all villians w/o breaking a sweat. That she forgave so much. That she got her freedom and true love in the end. That’s only 1 movie too.

Yeaaah that’s so true I agree with all you said.

Tbh this is kind of another problem, Belle was more “ordinary” in a way that was relatable: but that was part of what made her this “extraordinary”. She was the “simple bookworm” who had a golden heart and could have people be their best selves around her. And it’s.. good. I mean I think people forgot those movies originally target kids or the kids inside of us. Sometimes it’s just good to tell the kid that even simplest things make them amazing. That they don’t have to be “special”, to be smarter, stronger than everyone else to be taken seriously, that you could just be yourself, that you could still have an impact on people’s lives. 

Like yeah it’s cool to tell kids they can be more too!! It’s important that there are stories that can tell kids “and you can do extraordinary things” but htat doesn’t mean that the likeable ordinary characters shouldn’t exist. And it’s such a disservice to Belle bc she was relatable. Any kids could feel for her journey, for who she was, and didn’t have to feel.. unadequate because y’see they’re not a genuis like her.

Already I feel like we’re losing a bit of her agency by making her an extension of her father, but as it is, it’s just… again that apparently to be considered a “good protagonist” you have to be a step ahead, to not just be a normal person see, you have to be a SUPER person who is more amazing that everyone and super transgressive.

And it’s.. a shame because the original movie carries that on far better. Belle is still weird, and we know the town is being a bit dumb but…. the thing is that, it’s super relatable? Like in the remake tries far more to relate it to the time period (which is in itself silly, the original “La Belle et La Bête” was published in a lady’s magazine for women to read it’s not,, like it was that weird to “teach another girl to read” in that time period in France,,) and they add this stupid plotline of how Gaston is just having major PTSD and that’s why he’s a douche and they have a whole section showing the townfolks don’t trust him blindly and Le Fou has to pay them to sing Gaston and i’m just??? Bc No, the Town were just mindless people who just would push away anyone who’s different. Gaston is your usual bully. The kind who believes they’re more important than anyone. They’re… people you actually meet in your life. 

So by making Belle “more special” while also in a town that is “more justified” it just… feels wrong and fall flat and it just feels insulting.

I don’t know that remake missed all the marks and Belle especially suffered from it and i hate how superficially they took the character. It’s super annoying. 

For Aladdin i admit i didn’t keep track of the remake, i personally think it looks like a trainwreck but i’m also very, very tired about the Disney Remake trend, and extremely annoyed with the “We’re fixing stuff from the original” ones. Because like, for exemple, liking it or not Maleficient wasn’t trying to fix the original, it was another side of the story. Jungle Book took a different approach but didn’t act all smugly about how they were fixing things. But with Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin they keep talking about things to change from the original to make it “more modern and better” and generally it’s not even on like… actual important stuff (i’ve only ever watched Aladdin in French and they don’t have it in it but apparently there’s a lyrics from the opening song that is downright offensive about how barbaric the culture is. Like. Think about fixing that before fixing your “woman problem” Disney.)

For Aladdin,  I really have no idea where the damn remake is headed but yeah i’ve seen them mention how much the new Jasmine is better than the original and c o m o n. You can try to talk a little more about politics without completely  undermining that she was still having an arc in the original, that she didn’t want her life decided for her, and everything you just said. 

idk i feel like they didn’t even get why those characters were liked to start with. They rush into conclusion about what bad role models they are without even taking into account that it’s… not like that people took them. Legit I’ve never thought “Cinderella/Ariel/Belle needed a Man to save them from their lives” for exemple until people started to smash it all over my head when I was a teen. 

Personally my fav princess growing up was Ariel, for exemple. to me she was a passionate person and people around her kept villainizing what she liked, his father litterally destroys all her stuff in front of her in a fit of anger. she is more pressured into doing the family stuff like singing for his father, but her interests are shunned away. What she wants is to explore her passion, to discover new things, to not be locked where her family tells her is her best place to be, especially when her father for exemple completely overlook her boundaries. Saving Eric happened to be one of the catalyst making her want to set it in motion, but she didn’t do it until her father sent her the message that her passion would be welcomed with violence. And yeah she took rushes decision when she was running away from home after her father terrified her, she was pressured in the contract, but the enjoyed herself on Earth, and whatever “she just wanted to find a man” means, she found what she wanted with Eric. he has boats, they can travel if she wants. He invites her to danse, he makes her visit places, she handle a horse, he helps her live more of her dream that isn’t just living a life with him. 

So to me i grew up with Ariel on a pure escapism sense, of living off your passion, of being able to escape an unsafe place to be with said passion, and hell the ultimate fantasy is that her father admited he was wrong and did right by her in the end. Getting the man was a bonus. 

and Ariel also enters a lot in the bashed princesses category because of Eric and it always kinda frustrated me, but when I was a young teen and everyone told me they were bad role models? I just ended up agreeing because “guess kid me doesn’t know any better”. But as an adult now, I feel like kid!me understood it much more, because those raw emotions are what inspired me in my life. Not the man, the passion did. 

Can’t WAIT until they remake The Little Mermaid to “remake Ariel in a Stronger Female Character” even if that’s not what this story need /sarcasm.

So yea long story short I think executives who are trying to say “how to better female characters kids loved” just completely missed why kids loved those characters to start with, and so instead it’s just pushing down our throat “shhh you love it the wrong way, here how you should love it too be More Progressive” and this is just annoying.

So yeah. Wait and see for the Aladdin’s remake but I have very little hope. 

Oh boy and it reminds me everything they planned for the Mulan remake *takes a huge breath* i dont know if i’m strong enough.

Take care!

[notesandcoffee]

Opinions 4.18

Plotlines have only started to get set up for Red and Aram, “Philomena” is so political it’s jarring, Gale is everything I want out of a cartoon character, and is... has anyone checked to see if Kaplan’s okay?

I'm going to start with Red's plotline, as it was just building blocks for a payoff (I hope) will come later. He hands Dembe a box that's to be opened when Dembe leaves, and gives a very closing speech about what people owe him once they start working for him. Dembe is a little different, and so the box is a parting gift from Red. I can only hope it's something to help Dembe start his new life, if not booze. Either way, it's endgame.

Aram asks Red upfront if he shot Kaplan for allowing Liz to escape, in a line that’s almost partial to Red. He’s not going to defend shooting someone, of course, and Aram probably had the most reaction towards Liz’s “death” than anyone else on the task force. I’m not sure where that question is going to end up, but I’ll be a little sad if we don’t see Aram reflect on Red’s confirmation in the near future.

Navabi was nominated for Katai Fellowship, after several years of being on the task force. Aram recommends her, and it's unclear whether he was asked by the committee running the process or if he gave it of his own discretion. However, she turns it down because he was the one who nominated her this year. The relationship is already under some strain (thanks to Janet), and to Navabi, this feels more like Aram kissing ass to her to try get back in her good graces than an actual commendation for her work. If she was actually worthy of his nomination, she would have gotten it her first year there, in her head.

It's a misunderstanding at best, pettiness at worst. I don't think Aram did anything wrong by nominating her, but it sounds like he's had the power to nominate her the whole time, which again, doesn't make sense. If he actually did have the power to nominate her the whole time, what exactly was the point that made him nominate? He's been in awe of her since she joined, so why now? Of course, while Navabi has the same questions, she doesn't ask, instead accusing Aram of not nominating her earlier. Not a lot of details to explain what's going on, but Navabi's pissed.

Okay.

Our Blacklister is Philomena, part stalker, part private investigator, part assassin. Philomena's whole idea is that she "accidentally" gets into other's lives without much accident or coincidence, and we see this in how she chooses to hunt down Marvin Gerard, by performing a timed accident on his sister. She trades meeting with Gerard in lieu of accepting his sister's money, and is only tipped off at the end, when things are coming to a head anyway. I really enjoyed watching her work and how it kind of capitalized on the paranoid suspicion a lot of people have right now -- those people we just met, that one there on the street, the odd co-worker, are they really safe? Or would they be just as happy, if not happier, if I were killed or imprisoned?

At last, we see current U.S. politics in the show, and not just here. It's written in everything, from the "alternative truths" Marvin jokes about to the islamophobia Navabi deals with and is asked about in the interview. I'm not at all surprised by this, but it's unnecessary. It's unevitable that these things are going to come out in the work we all make, but... I don't know. I watch tv to escape from the horror of the 11 o'clock news that always comes on after. To escape somewhere on twitter, for only an hour, where I don't have to worry about people defending systematic execution of children because of some fucked-up version of "God's will".

At the same time, there's nothing else to write about. I wish we -- everyone -- could write about something different, rather than the Islamophobia, rather than the racism, rather than the crowds who feel my country is better without people like me in it and the sweeping nationalism that's on the rise worldwide. I want nothing more than a Reddington to come in and make things great again and put the people who want to see others like me swept out of society in prison where they belong. I'm told that's unreasonable -- God knows why at this point -- so I sit in front of the television with my beer and my popcorn and try to live in a universe where that happens if only for an hour. Never mind that Bigly Deplorable is retweeting me and try to focus on the good things.

The good news is in this messed-up world of crooked politicians, masterclass criminals, and the loyalists who follow each, we have someone like Gale -- the flattened, stereotyped version of Ressler that is every bad cop movie you've ever seen combined. Gale is out to get the "bad guys" -- which is Reddington &co. in his head, having no information about the P.O. The only thing he knows is that the previous Reddington task force was suddenly disbanded and Ressler, his teammate and friend, was re-assigned. Gale's sense of moral is overpowering, leaving him to insist that the smell of rotting corpses is the smell "of justice", and showing remorse for the corpses he recognizes, people that he sent in to try to act as some sort of way to get to Reddington who lost their lives. It begins to remind Ressler just how much of the person he was before Reddington turned himself in. Ressler (not Klattenhoff!) is also a terrible actor, laughing at all the wrong times, and even suggesting Reddington turned himself in way too seriously. Ressler is going to be in the center of a major conflict between the P.O. and the rest of the FBI. 

However, the line that stuck out to me the most was this:

Kaplan (to Liz): I haven’t laid eyes on Agnes since the night I helped you escape.

This line is decidedly wrong, but Kaplan says it without much of a reaction. Liz may know otherwise, but she doesn't let on. Now, because the show itself has had a mess of continuity errors, it seems the gut reaction is to immediately jump on our friends in the writers' room, but... This line was looked at by too many people to both be this specific and this wrong. 

To recap a bit: the scene is between Liz, Kaplan, and Agnes. Agnes is resting comfortably in Kaplan's arms when Kaplan says this, and Liz is coming around the corner of her own apartment, arms raised to shoot an intruder. Kaplan's just had a series of disjointed flashbacks of Masha as a child and how she came to work for Reddington's team. She's still thinking of Liz being a toddler with too many questions and not enough answers, not intended as malicious, but that's just something on her mind, probably on repeat. 

Kaplan has seen Agnes since the night Kaplan helped Liz escape; she hasn't seen Liz since the night she helped her escape.

So why is it the line we ended up with on screen? Take either of these two lines (by yours truly):

Kaplan (to Liz): I haven't laid eyes on Agnes since you came back.

Kaplan (to Liz): I haven't laid eyes on you since the night I helped you escape.

Either of these two statements would be true, according to Blacklist universe. Instead, Kaplan gave us a weird mash-up of the two which makes no sense.

Kaplan's also been shot in the head twice at this point, and only one time did she receive actual medical attention. The other time (for all we know) she was chained to a bed and being hand-fed by someone who is definitely not a doctor. She's been having severe migraines, and is on heavy medication for them. There's a marked change in her personality, going after Red instead of trying to reason with him using their shared history as a base. Breaking and entering Liz's apartment to hold her child when she could have easily knocked. We've seen glimpses into her memory, which seems disjointed, and certain elements don't line up from what we've heard from other characters thus far. And if this line is as true as it seems to Kaplan, she's showing signs of aphasia.

These are all signs of traumatic brain injury. In real people, symptoms are dependent on where exactly in the brain the damage occurred, the severity, the surface area it covered, and a bunch of other statistics and data points regarding the injury itself. This is where the science gets jumbled a bit, and I'd love to get some clarification for it if given the opportunity. For example, aphasia usually only occurs when there's an injury to the language center on the left side of the brain; Kaplan was shot on the right side. It's abnormal for language processing to be affected by injuries to the right hemisphere, but it's not completely unheard of, given the task and the specific injury.

If this is the case, I would like to see more of a reaction from other people in the scene. Maybe not the hunter, but maybe Liz? Something that shows that everything is not nearly as alright as Kaplan thinks.

I'm not writing this as a defense of anyone. It just struck a chord with me, because I've been around real people with brain injury. They sometimes do make nonsense statements, mashups of statements they want to make, and occasionally you hear shit like this from non-brain injured people, too. But neurotypicals are written differently in this show, with statements that have a tendency to make sense, and that's what I'm taking my cues from.

Twitter was fun again for me. There was more than enough fun with the box and “what’s in the box” gif that everyone posted at the same time. Besides the political interference, it was a fun episode, although Kaplan’s storyline really is going to have to show something solid behind her change in personality and motivation in order for me to move past it.

[bonesingerofyme-loc]

in which what the fuck happened

so i’ve finally gotten around to watching season 4 of the expanse, everyone’s favorite science fiction tv show. i shall not call it a space opera because i actually know what a space opera is.

i’ve just finished episode 8 and what precisely the fuck happened though

this season is a mess

in no particular order, we have

* the Ilus plot, in which it appears the Bezos Bux weren’t enough to afford a larger cast, so there’s three belters with speaking roles and a really, really bad rebellious teenager plot that makes me feel like i’m watching a fucking scalzi novel (which is not praise). The Ilus plot in which murtry swings between being a Bad Man with Justifiable Reasons to being a mustache twirling villain, where Holden doesn’t just hold the idiot stone, he fucking swallows it along with Elvi and also the TV show does that TV show thing where they make really, really stupid design choices that leave you scratching your head. more on this all later

* the earth plot, in which Chrisjen Avasarala is never wrong once but everyone around her acts like she’s executing her political opponents in the streets and trying to sacrifice babies to satan

* the mars plot, in which bobbie has a nervous breakdown over the course of about three days and resets all her character development to her first introduction

* the belter plot in which Dummer continues to be a national treasure and Not-Ashford is still very enjoyable and they prove they are the only competant fucks in the entire fucking Belt but the writers do their level best to sabotage every second of it

Right, so, specifically

Let’s start with Ilus

I think my overall issues here can be summed up with this statement

“The set design, knowing that the heroes would be riding out a world spanning tsunami and flood, decided the optimal way to adapt the descriptions of the shell buildings from the novel to be THIRTY FEET UNDER THE SURFACE OF THE FUCKING PLANET THAT IS GOING TO BE FLOODED.”

My brother and I looked at each other and burst out laughing at the end of the episode in which Holden gets yote across the room by the deluge of water. The deluge of water from the planetwide tsunami. The deluge of water from the planetwide flood that placed the water a good forty feet ABOVE the interior rooms.

The planetwide flood that did not begin to recede for days. In a building riddled with holes and also one big giant one they made. 

This encapsulates to many of the problems in this season in a single example. Writing choices and design choices that appear to be conceived of in the moment without any thought to the rest of the plot. Drama for the sake of drama. Convenient reveals after the fact to patch holes set up by the previous lack of foresight. 

We later see the entry area is flooded, appearing to imply that the room they descend into initially is just a lower area that totally flooded and that they are at ground level in the rest of the complex. As if to acknowledge that, oops, yes, maybe having this complex be situated forty feet under the water level with holes all the fuck over means everyone would drown, so here’s a solution - except, except

When everyone got in right before the flood, they were all standing packed like sardines down in that low entry room. Which started flooding due to the fucking firehose deluge that came in because hello a piece of reinforced sheet metal isn’t going to be watertight in the slightest. So you’ve got water pouring into a small contained space packed with about forty people and supplies - that’s going to be ruining supplies and equipment because it’s saltwater and people are going to be panicking. How do they climb out the other side? There’s no ropes or lines there, it would seem, since everyone was still shuffling around in the entry area when the flooding started. How do they managed to get ropes or lines up to the higher areas in the building before people are trampled or drowned or all their supplies ruined? Why the fuck didn’t the goddamn building just have openings on the ground level leading into a bunch of interior rooms like it fucking did in the fucking novel because the fucking authors despite their other fucking flaws at least fucking planned ahead and had fucking editors that fucking made sure that things were fucking intelligently designed?

Oh, right. So that we could have a fucking scene where Holden has to escape from a closing door or be smushed. Because Holden definitely was in danger of dying and everyone believed it. Fuck. PLAN MORE THAN ONE EPISODE AHEAD.

Related to that - I’m loving the insistence that TV and movies have to make everything related to the main character, and not even tangentially. Directly, directly related. Remember how Ilus fucking asploding was a major oops that wasn’t anyone’s fault? Now it has to specifically be Holden’s fault since he can’t stop sticking is dick in things, so all the deaths are directly on his shoulders. Great job. Really, really great. 

A nitpick here that doesn’t matter - remember when the moons were described as low-albedo and the nights were super dark? Pepperidge Farms remembers.

The Felcia plotline is awful too. Some random teenager stows away to orbit and then becomes instrumental in saving the Barbapiccola despite no experience and completely overriding the actual crew on board. Come on. Come on.

Also - thanks Holden and Elvi, you utter mouthbreathing nonces for not once thinking ‘Gee, maybe I should ask/tell about the MEDICATIONS THAT I AM CURRENTLY ON.’ It doesn’t make it an epiphany moment or a revelation when they realize his oncocidals are the cure, it makes them looking like absolute idiots. Holden, you shoot up daily. DAILY. You told Elvi about being a genetic hybrid. You didn’t think to tell her about the eighty gorillion rads you ate like soup on Eros and the fact that you’re swimming in anti-cancer meds?

Come the fuck on. Come. The. Fuck. On.

Stop making characters idiots to make the plot work. 

Leaving Ilus, there’s Earth.

Fucking Earth.

So Arjun is now Avasarala’s campaign manager and a completely different person. The lack of chemistry between the two actors is so profound that scientists are considering writing a thesis on it as quantum mechanics actually should forbid such an extreme effect. He’s also not Arjun, since he’s alternating between unctuous and judgmental about as often as Naomi switches between an English accent and a butchered attempt at Belter. So that’s swell, we have to deal with a new actor and a brand new character who is awful and should never have been because Arjun was a chill lad and didn’t deserve this.

On the poitical side is Avasarala, who literally cannot stop being right all the time. Seriously, why is everyone up her ass about THE MEANS AND THE ENDS AND YOU LIE AND ITS ALL ABOUT YOU.

I mean sure it is all about her but she hasn’t been wrong yet. And a person can be both selfish and helpful. I couldn’t believe with Arjun got asspained about Avasarala leaking confidential footage of ancient inimitable alien machines that melt moons and blow up hemispheres of planets when the 0 and 1s are switched as a completely reasonable attempt to instill a very healthy and very justified caution in the general populace over the gigantic alien relic that was made out of a hundred thousand people ground up into blue gatorade and marinated on Venus after it broke the fucking laws of physics several times to link up to a pocket dimension that casually rewrites it’s own rules. 

Like what the fuck Arjun, where do you get off judging Avasarala for releasing information about the extremely unpredictable and dangerous two billion year old alien doom machines that are scattered around the galaxy. Is it totally to her own benefit? Absolutely. Is it also totally the right thing to do? Also absolutely because you’ve got Gao hot under the collar about wanting to yeet every willing body through the ring gates into a hotbed of who-the-fuck-knows and acting like it’s the best thing since sliced bread.

Fuck.

Then we’ve got the marine raid. Avasarala is approached by her military advisors and generals who present to her a plan of action to go after a known terrorist who just attempted a direct attack on Earth’s defenses, defenses that I might add are not like ‘to keep people out’ but are actively existential defenses. So they bring a plan to her, lay it out, and she approves it, then when it goes tits up, the fucking General who planned it, brought it to her and executed it has the gall to blame HER for it failing (what) then resign because he can’t serve someone who plays loose with his soldier’s lives (WHAT) and then everyone gets assmad at her for costing like twelve marine’s lives in an attempt to capture a terrorist responsible for several hundred deaths already (WHAT) and then, and THEN siding with the OPA for Avasarala ‘breaking the peace’ when the UN went after a terrorist the OPA is known to have let go???

What the FUCK was going on in the writing room.

Meanwhile on Mars, Bobbie is going batshit insane. After btfoing a bunch of druggies to save her nephew she gets roped into some illegal stuff and then has a moral conundrum about it for maybe five seconds and then it like yeah nvm let’s steal this shit Y E E T. The very same Bobbie that was willing to go AWOL from her command, run to her own nation’s enemy during a cold war and refuse to ever budge on her testimony because the truth and honor meant that much to her.

Yeah.

Okay.

Then she meets a dude on sunday, goes on a date with him monday and tuesday, they bang on wednesday, then on friday he gets a job on Europa and is gonna leave and they have a fight as if they’d been seeing each other for months.

Uh.

Unless this show is doing completely different time scales for different plots, which they’ve failed utterly to communicate, we know how much time has passed. Bobbie met the dude like a fucking week ago, why is this full bore romantic drama as if they’d been in a committed relationship for months? They’ve literally banged twice in a hotel room and not even stuck around for cuddles.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I don’t have much to complain about with Drummer and Ashford. I really like them both and both are fun to watch. They’ve also been treated the most reasonably too in terms of not acting like fuckwits or being dealt retarded hands by the plot thus far.

This season is awful. The Expanse was always subtitled ‘The Expounding’ because of how characters could, at the drop of a hat, produce a minute long monologue about anything, but this season it’s taken that and cranked it to eleven. Every other sentence is an ingratiating platitude about ‘hopeful we’re hopeful future happy live we’ll live yay see each other again strong be strong and brave firm strong and hopeful’. Fuck. Naomi exists to look sad and give brave monologues to people, especially the now lobotomized Lucia who apparently did die and came back without agency. Alex sort of just exists, drifting from scene to scene as if saying ‘I’m still here, guys. Guys? Guys...’ every antagonist takes three minutes to lay out their life story and evil beginnings and rationale only to suddenly flip the tables a few episodes later only to play a reverse uno card and be mustache twirlingly diabolical right after. 

Oh yeah, and because this is my personal autism button:

NO, ELVI, THAT IS NOT HOW LIFE WORKS. LIFE MIGHT NOT ‘JUST AS EASILY’ BE BASED ON SOMETHING ELSE. THAT IS NOT HOW FUCKING PHYSICS WORKS. OTHER ELEMENTS ARE NEITHER AS PREVALENT NOR AS USEFUL IN FORMING BONDS AS CARBON. YOU COULD SAY ‘LIFE MIGHT RARELY AND EXTREMELY DIFFICULTLY BE MADE OF SILICON’ BUT DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE SAY ‘JUST AS EASILY. ALSO IRON. IRON. ARE YOU REALLY, REALLY GOING TO SAY IRON COULD BE USED AS A CHEMICAL BASIS FOR LIFE, BECAUSE HOLY COSMIC BULLSHIT BATMAN.

IN THE WORDS OF HERMIONE GRANGER: ARE YOU A HARD SCIFI OR NOT??

[andrewuttaro]

Reviews with Andrew: The State of #StarWars Episode 1 - Pre-Episode IX

Star Wars maybe the sample case to end all sample cases on what toxic fandom is. I’m not saying that to be a predictable ass but come on, have you been living under a rock? I am personally saddened to see how the response to the Last Jedi has ruined the fan unity, if that ever even existed, on Star Wars. It’s okay to not like a movie. That’s the bottom line. It’s okay to be lukewarm all puns intended. I was a little sour after my first viewing of the Last Jedi but after two more viewings I put it together a bit more. But at the end of the day there was nothing in that movie that was downright unforgivable… even Canto Bite.

On a scale from 1-10 Star Wars nerd, 10 being you can name different species of aliens that only appeared in de-canonized Expanded Universe books and 1 being your experience of Star Wars can be summed up by being captivated by a slutty Leia costume, I consider myself right in the middle of the pack at 5 or so. I’ve seen all the movies, played as many video games as possible and dabbled in some books. I’ll admit there was a time I would’ve said 7 on that scale but I’ve fallen back as life has changed for me. What I want to do today is talk about the State of the franchise. I think there is two parts to this. The state of the in-universe story and the state of the creative output making new material for us to consume.

Obviously these are my opinions and obviously I am going to spoil some movies, books and TV shows here. If you’re up-to-date on the basic lore I think you’ll be fine. Moreover, I want to talk specifically about these things in a Pre-Rise of Skywalker context. There will be a similar piece I will do sometime after the Rise of Skywalker. Disney has advertised this final installment in the sequel trilogy as “the end of the Skywalker Saga” and that’s a notable before and after moment in my humble opinion. Feel free to tear me to shreds in the comments. Review with Andrew is all about the discussion so let me know what you think. With entertainment properties the size of Star Wars it’s such a collective experience that to not be aware of popular opinion is to kinda miss the point. So with no further ado, let’s start with where we sit in-universe prior to the conclusion of the Skywalker Saga’s Sequel Trilogy.

Fate of the Galaxy

I am 25 so I grew up with the Prequels as the backdrop of my Star Wars experience. Here comes something that will probably get many of you to click off: I enjoyed the politics in the prequel trilogy. Disclaimer: that does not mean I love the prequels overall. That trilogy lacked clarity and compelling performance in multiple places. However I am not going to lie and not tell you Emperor Palpatine seizing control of the Republic Senate and reorganizing it into the Galactic Empire wasn’t the most simultaneously jaw-droppingly dreadful and entertaining moments of my young life watching movies. It was. It sticks with me to this day. However the political machinations come at the expense of dragging the whole story into the dirt on several occasions in those movies particularly in the Phantom Menace.

The Sequel Trilogy clearly and obviously overcompensated for this popular grievance with the prequels. I have not gotten around to the New Canon books yet, I know they explain the politics leading into the Force Awakens very well, but the first two films in this sequel trilogy have departed so far from galactic-level political movements that their plot is confusing at times. Had the character development and narrative pace not been so good in the Force Awakens it would’ve been an incoherent film given the lack of political setting. I don’t need Senate deliberations or trade negotiations, I get it; but how is there a whole fleet of bad guys who had enough time and Empire-like resources to build a planet-sized death laser to decapitate galactic government? This problem carries over to a movie like the Last Jedi where Resistance leadership is axed at every turn before the whole movement can fit in one spacecraft!

The fact that none of it is explained in the movies is the real kicker here. Setting was something the Original Trilogy did effectively on a flying-by-the-seat-of-our-pants basis while the Prequel Trilogy did it haphazardly with CGI heavy establishing shots and exposition dumps built into the script. The Sequel movies have done neither and had it not been for great acting from the core cast of both of these main saga films this would be a huge problem. In the scale of my earlier Star Wars nerd spectrum, anyone beneath a 6 or 7 on the scale is having trouble following along story wise. Good thing the CGI and character writing is good because that constitutes a story-building shortcoming too great for many franchise films to overcome.

That said, the Anthology films have been superhot fire in spite of the main saga. In fact, the broader strokes of galactic politics and setting worked against both Rogue One and Solo. The direct connection between the battle at the end of Rogue One and the beginning of A New Hope provided for good food for thought and a totally rad Darth Vader scene, but it also made you scratch your head and call BS on Leia in New Hope when she says that ship is on a diplomatic mission. You just came from a battle and this same guy was two corridors away from chopping your head off, that’s a really poor cover story. And who could forget the collective groan that was Han Solo getting his name from the Imperial recruiter in Solo. Give me a break.

I don’t think it’s unfair to say broad world-building has not been a strength of the Disney-Era Star Wars films so far. Again, I know the books, comics, TV shows and other media are doing that world-building in spades. If you enjoy that media that’s great. When the animated Star Wars Clone Wars was on the air it wasn’t explaining things we didn’t get about Episode III, it was filling in gaps in fun ways. Star Wars has always been a property for a mass audience and when that mass audience, which you have to assume does minimal research beforehand, might walk out of a film not knowing broadly what was going on, that’s a problem. Star Wars isn’t supposed to rely on content beyond the films and if the Rise of Skywalker does we’re going to be in for a messy finish to the sequel trilogy.

Finally, let’s talk about where the characters are going. Rey seemed to gain full control of force powers by the end of Last Jedi, so I am excited to see how her power is deployed in wrapping up this trilogy. I am an admitted sucker for a redemption story, but I can’t envision one for Kylo Ren that would be close to satisfying. That character kinda has to die a bad guy. If they stick with the themes Rian Johnson setup with the main characters in Last Jedi then Kylo needs to die the legacy guy who is consumed by what he thinks he needs to be simply by virtue of parentage. We’ll see about that. Finn, Poe and their respective orbits of characters are… I guess great supporting pieces. I loved the arc Finn went through in Force Awakens and I love the arc Poe went through in Last Jedi but now I don’t see where that leads both of them. I don’t know if there is a logical end point for their stories based on where they’ve been. After seeing Luke’s time in this trilogy wasted after seeing Han Solo’s time in this trilogy more or less wasted I just can’t see a world where at least one of the new core cast isn’t wasted in the end. But I’m not married to that opinion, in fact I really hope I’m wrong and JJ Abrams ties it all together.

Fate of the Brand

Let’s talk about the thing we all love about Star Wars: Jedi and Sith. With JJ Abrams returning for the final installment of the “Skywalker Saga” as it were we have a distinct possibility at hand that the dualist dichotomy of light side versus dark side is undermined forever. For a pragmatist such as myself it’s weird to be against the discovery of a middle ground but here I am. The Jedi and the Sith represent the fundamentally flawed nature of the Force. It’s always making corrections. It’s always pulling someone too far too one side and correcting and sometimes overcorrecting. Like most all spiritual forces there is an acute degree of imperfection that makes the perfection of its divinity real. Turning the force into something that can be mastered and controlled with Grey Jedi turns the whole thing to magic tricks. Yes, I am aware of the Grey Jedi plotline in Star Wars Rebels. No, it doesn’t change the problem here.

The problem is the resolution of the whole light/dark side narrative with Grey Jedi is the perfect Disney ending… but more importantly, it’s probably the JJ Abrams ending. Fans of his work on Lost as well as his movies will tell you he’s a master of the mystery box. Historically he’s not so great at answering the questions he sets up… as in resolution. He is now responsible for resolving the Sequel Trilogy and I am going to have a real problem with 42 years of Star Wars Jedi/Sith lore building ending with a variation of: They figured it out and lived happily ever after. If the last piece of the Skywalker Saga ends this way it will be the fan toxicity that followed the Last Jedi times twelve except this time without the even-keeled nerds like me defending the writing.

It's pretty clear that Star Wars was going to be different from the moment George Lucas sold the property. The fact he’s felt regret about that is another discussion for another day. He sold it to a mega corporation he knew was going to get started making sequels and spinoffs. Disney prints money at a rate the Federal Reserve gawks at. Every Star Wars film before 2012 was more or less a Lucas project. They were all one man’s vision carried out through different producers and directors to varied results. Post-Sale different creators coming in was going to change the creative flow and result in different takes on the world. That’s not a bad thing. Star Wars fans need to accept Star Wars canon with a new dividing line: Lucas Canon versus Disney Canon. I enjoy both but if you wake up in the morning upset about Disney-Era Star Wars then you probably should just decide to believe in the Lucas Canon.

I thought Kathleen Kennedy was a wonderful person to bring in as the puppet master of the Disney Era Star Wars franchise. I still think she has the career bona-fides to justify being at the head of the beast. However, in the hiring of Kevin Feige you can tell she and the brain trust she built around Star Wars has realized they saturated the market too much and damaged the product a little. Solo was not an awful film, but it will forever be the first Star Wars movie to lose money. However that happened aside, the Disney Star Wars Brain Trust needs to decide what it wants going forward. I’ve already discussed how the pieces of the anthology films that were unmoored from the broader Skywalker narrative were the best of the Disney Era films. The rate at which directors and producers have been fired indicates there was a confusion about how much Star Wars was going to be allowed to be different.

Are you going to let the directors play on your playground with the toys you bought for 4 Billion dollars or are you going to tell them how to play until they storm off in anger? Disney Star Wars has chosen the latter in all but one of the four films they’ve produced so far. Rian Johnson did his own crazy thing with the Last Jedi, you let it ride and you let that predictable nerd backlash screw up Solo. Now you don’t know what you’re doing. You have to pick. If you want to let the property rest for a few years after Rise of Skywalker and then drop it on us on some Tuesday in 2024 that’s great! It will probably be best for the brand. But when you do come back please commit to the degree of creative freedom you’re actually going to give your directors.

The four films of Disney Star Wars are batting at about .750. Solo was your bomb but even that one was an enjoyable movie. The whole thing will be more fun and piss off fewer people when it appears you guys have unified marching orders. Star Wars as a brand is okay but if its comes back looking as confused as it did with whatever comes after Rise of Skywalker it’s not going to be good. At that point sinking one of the biggest entertainment properties in history would be an accomplishment all it’s own. The Studio and brand questions post Rise of Skywalker will be very interesting. For now let’s wrap up the conversation of the State of Star Wars before that epic conclusion.

Conclusion

Star Wars still makes mad money and reels in younger people with no experience with the property. By that logic it’s doing just fine. Any nerd property is going to have a segment, even a large vocal segment like we’ve seen here, that will get upset with a new creative direction. That’s okay, move past it like professionals. If that can happen and that new creative direction sees a commitment to it from the studio I see some fun Star Wars to come. If not then I am fully prepared for Star Wars to be run into the ground. Which is also okay because it’s just an entertainment product (see Indiana Jones and the Lord of the Rings). The in-world story faces a lot of loose ends it needs to wrap up to stick the landing in Episode IX. I don’t have total confidence JJ Abrams can do it, but I am interested to see.

I won’t be doing a grade here because this is more a meta-review than an individual movie review. So let me hit just a couple of those loose ends that will be the hardest to wrap up in a satisfying way: Poe and Finn’s friendship, Palpatine’s Return and not making Darth Vader’s sacrifice worthless, Rey’s place in the Force, the fate of Kylo Ren, the very nature of the Force, and of course what is this thing between Kylo and Rey? Like and share this blog. I want to do reviews more and more and reader input is important to that so leave a comment with your thoughts! I can also do weird little think pieces like I did after Force Awakens like “Is Star Wars about disarmament?” so if you like reviews of all media coming off a screen let me know what you want to read about!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Last Christmas looks like grade A date night material. It could be next level if the plot actually makes sense beyond the normal romance narrative rigmarole.  

[mysteryshelf]

BLOG TOUR - A Conspiracy of Ravens

Welcome to

THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF!

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About the Book

THE BATTLE LINES HAVE BEEN DRAWN. THE WAR HAS BEGUN.

James Hicks has spent his entire life and career fighting on the front lines of terrorism for the clandestine intelligence organization known as The University. Hicks has learned that enemies can appear and disappear in the blink of an eye, and allegiances shift like the wind. But now, Hicks has finally discovered his true enemy: the criminal organization known as The Vanguard.

This shadowy group has operated as a deadly organization comprised weapons dealers, drug runners, and money launderers for decades, but has now decided to add regime change to their catastrophic agenda. But knowing the enemy is one thing. Being able to defeat it is another matter entirely. When Hicks uncovers a solid lead on his new adversaries, his world explodes. His home base is attacked, his operatives in the field are wiped out, and, for the first time, The University finds itself in open combat against an unknown enemy. In a battle that rages from the streets of Manhattan to the halls of power in Washington, D.C., to the dark alleys of Berlin, Hicks will have to use every resource at his disposal to defeat A Conspiracy of Ravens.

Interview with the Author

What initially got you interested in writing? 

I’ve always been a big fan of movies, even when I was a kid. My parents favored the classics, where studios churned them out like clockwork. The plots were usually engaging and so were the actors. I also come from a family of storytellers – priests and nuns, mostly – so I was introduced to the realities of the human condition early on.

  In college, my desire to tell stories of my own grew and I took my first creative writing class. I wound up graduating with a B.A. in Political Science, but that love of storytelling never left me and I’ve been blessed to go on to have several books published.

  What genres do you write in? What drew you to writing these specific genres? 

I’ve written crime fiction, mysteries, thrillers, a war novella and I’m currently working on a western series. Eventually, I’d like to try my hand at horror, too, but not yet.

  I’ve written in these various genres because each of them allows me to tell a story about some aspect of the human experience. My crime novels set in the 1930s depict desperate people at a desperate time. I write about criminals and murderers who turn out to be the heroes of the story. They might not be someone you’d like to meet in a bar or have over for the holidays, but for the purposes of reading, they’re compelling characters.

  My spy thrillers allowed me to delve into modern day paranoia and fears of excessive government intrusion into our lives. Is someone really watching us? Who’s trying to hurt us and why? Who are the people trying to stop them? In my James Hicks series, I take a different angle on the thriller genre wherein I make Hicks believable because he’s not always likable. It’s hard for me as a reader to relate to a character who is too good. That makes them predictable. A character like Hicks allows me to show the reader the shadow world in which he lives while doing what he can to protect our way of life. I never think the reader is always going to like him. I just want to keep them interested in reading him. So far, that tactic seems to work. I’ve been fortunate enough to have some readers tell me, “Man, that Hicks is a real S.O.B., isn’t he?” I take a certain pride in that.

  My new western series is about a sheriff in Montana in 1888. I think westerns always reflect the times in which they are written. In the 1950s, they portrayed rugged individualism and family values because that’s what post-war America wanted. In the 1960s and 1970s, we saw revisionist westerns that focused more on the brutality of life back then. Heroes weren’t always heroes and few people rode off into the sunset unscathed. In the 1980s, action was the order of the day until Lonesome Dove came along and showed us how beautiful a western could be. Today, and this is certainly the case with my western, my protagonist is Aaron Mackey, a sheriff who finds himself at odds with his times. His decisions aren’t always popular, but necessary. His job isn’t to be liked. It’s to protect the town he grew up in and has been elected to serve. He’s a man driven by his own code, and sometimes that code means he does the right thing. Sometimes it might not seem that way to the other characters, but Mackey doesn’t care. He reflects a lot of the rebelliousness of our current day, where we question everything and for good reason.

  How did you break into the field? 

I had always dabbled in writing since college. I pawed at a couple of books, the first being a business thriller called TENETS OF POWER. In hindsight, the book was too long and too involved to be interesting and I didn’t have any luck in finding an agent for it. But all of my hard work didn’t go to waste. I’ve since harvested that book for plotlines in other works I’ve done, particularly in my 1930s novel PROHIBITION.

  I had workshopped PROHIBITION for a few years, then in the early 2006, I began sending it out to agents. Once again, no one bit. The feedback was always the same. No one cares about period fiction anymore.

  Then, in 2008, a friend of mine encouraged me to enter the book in TruTV’s Search for the Next Great Crime Writer contest. Much to my surprise, it beat out over 200 other novels to win the prize. I was supposed to be published by Borders, but when they went out of business, I was out of luck.

  I was fortunate enough to find Ron Fortier and Rob Davis of Airship 27 who loved the book and published it. It received great reviews and caught the eye of Jason Pinter at Polis Books. A few years later, Jason republished PROHIBITION and its sequel SLOW BURN as well as my spy-thriller SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL. I’ve been with him ever since and he’s been great to work with.

    What do you want readers to take away from reading your works? 

That I’ll never give them anything less than my best. People might not like my subject, my style or my characters, but no one can ever say I mailed it in on a novel. I believe the publishing business IS a business, so if you’re buying my product, you deserve my very best. I haven’t yet tried to write the Great American Novel and I’ve never written a book that was meant to change anyone’s life. However, when people tell me they couldn’t put the book down and can’t wait for the next one, I feel like I’ve done my job. 

  What do you find most rewarding about writing? 

I find the feedback I receive from readers to be the most consistently rewarding part of writing. The feedback has been mostly positive, but it’s been negative, too. Most of those complaints came from people who didn’t like the genre or were expecting a different kind of book. A few complaints were pointed observations made by people who know the genre very well. I took those complaints to heart and kept them in mind when I worked on the next book.

  When it comes to the art of writing itself, there’s no greater endorphin rush for me than the thrill of feeling a story take off as I’m typing it. I know it might sound weird to someone who has never written a book or a story, but these characters really do take on a life of their own. I recently started writing a novel and quickly realized I had started in the middle of the book. I had to go back and tell it from the beginning. It’s more work, but I don’t look at it that way. I look at it as the story telling itself through me. Again, we’re not talking high literature here, but I want every story I tell to be the best it can be. But when you hit that scene just right or that idea pops into my head, man, there’s nothing better than that.

  What do you find most challenging about writing? 

I find the editing process to be the most challenging part about writing. It’s also the most important part of the process. Almost anyone can sit at a keyboard and bang out a story. The editing process makes you cull it down and mold it into something cohesive and compelling. After that, I have to read it again to make sure all of the seams have been covered. And again after that. After the third pass, I can’t read it anymore because it all blurs together for me. Often, by then, my mind is already straining at the bit to move on to the next work anyway, so I rely on beta readers to help ensure I haven’t left anything out or left a gaping hole in the plot.

    What advice would you give to people wanting to enter the field? 

If you’re going to be a writer, you’d better be tough. You’d better be ready for rejection and you’ve got to take criticism. That’s not always easy, especially when you’ve labored over something for months or years. You develop an attachment to it and bristle at even the slightest hint that it’s not as perfect as you envision it.

  But a mentor of mine told me long ago that writing isn’t about the writer, it’s about the writer and their relationship to the reader. I might know what I mean, but if it’s not on the page, I can’t expect the reader to divine what I mean. People are entitled to their opinion and readers are right more than they’re wrong. As long as the critique is coming from an honest place, the writer must consider it.

  The other piece of advice I’d offer a new reader is to write in secret whenever possible. That sounds crazy, I know. Conspiratorial, even, like something out of one of my spy novels. But believe me when I tell you that the act of becoming a writer is very intimidating to some people. You’re attempting to do something that most people couldn’t do even if they had the courage to try. People tend to enjoy tearing down those who attempt what they cannot. The less people who know about what you’re trying to do, the better your story will be. There will be plenty of time for the critiques I mentioned above, but first, just sit down and do it and keep doing it until it’s done. When you’re ready, show it to the world. It’ll be your scariest, but most rewarding moment.

  What type of books do you enjoy reading? 

I like thrillers, mostly. I read westerns when I’m writing a western, just to make sure my spy thriller voice doesn’t bleed into that genre. It keeps me honest and keeps me engaged. I’m not worried about another author’s work bleeding into my own. In order to write, you have to read a lot because one never knows what will spark that next idea for your story.

  Is there anything else besides writing you think people would find interesting about you? 

I think people would be surprised that I’m as quiet as I am. People read my work and expect me to be a larger-than-life character. I’m really not. I prefer to keep to myself and I listen a lot. Wherever I am, I overhear how people speak to each other. I listen to their concerns and watch them on their phones on their way to and from work. Observation helps keep me grounded and, as always, gives me inspiration for my next novel or short story.

    What are the best ways to connect with you, or find out more about your work? 

All of my works are available online on Amazon, BN.com and all of the usual places in both print and e-book formats. I’m also on Facebook as Terrence P. McCauley and on Twitter as @tmccauley_nyc. My website is www.terrencemccauley.com. Feel free to drop me a line or ask me a question. And if you’ve purchased one of my books, please leave a review. They help, believe me.

  About the Author

Terrence McCauley is the award-winning author of two previous James Hicks thrillers: SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL and A MURDER OF CROWS, as well as the historical crime thrillers PROHIBITION and SLOW BURN (all available from Polis Books). He is also the author of the World War I novella THE DEVIL DOGS OF BELLEAU WOOD, the proceeds of which go directly to benefit the Semper Fi Fund. His story “El Cambalache” was nominated for the Thriller Award by International Thriller Writers.

Terrence has had short stories featured in Thuglit, Spintetingler Magazine, Shotgun Honey, Big Pulp and other publications. He is a member of the New York City chapter of the Mystery Writers of America, the International Thriller Writers and the International Crime Writers Association.

A proud native of The Bronx, NY, he is currently writing his next work of fiction. Please visit his website at terrencemccauley.com or follow him at @terrencepmccauley.

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BLOG TOUR – A Conspiracy of Ravens was originally published on the Wordpress version of The Pulp and Mystery Shelf with Shannon Muir