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theramblinghockeydude · 11 months ago

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Comfort Zones

I have always been a big fan of the comfort zone. It is safe and well, not a clever name as it is comfortable. It doesn't cause stress or anxiety to stay in that zone. However, if you stay in that zone you may miss out on a few things in life and some of them may even be worthwhile. I have found that my comfort zone has changed over the years, and not in a good way. I have narrowed that zone, it has closed in on me and gripped me like vice...or maybe even moreso like a python to its prey as that is what I kind of feel like narrowing that zone has made me, prey to my own thoughts and feelings. Funny thing is, I tried to stop feeling and it nearly cost me everything. I was no longer living, a prisoner inside of my own mind and there wasn't a thing I could do or worse yet, wanted to do about it. I became "happy" in my cocoon of numbness and that became the new comfort zone...not feeling, not living, being numb to everything around me. To be completely honest, I kind of miss that sometimes, not because I feel it was healthy, but it was just easier to not feel.

The past year has been...honestly, I am not entirely sure what word to use to describe it. Coming out of that state of mind and laughing again...feeling again...living again, it has been quite the journey and at times, it has been tiring, but it has also been great as it has led me to some wonderful things such as reconnecting with old friends, my godmother and now...putting myself back out there via online means to find some social interaction again to renew my soul and mind as they badly need it. Some may be asking, why online. Quite simply, given my mobility situation I certainly am not going anywhere to meet new people, and even if I did go anywhere, as hard as even meeting new people online is for me, face to face in "real" life, yeah that so much harder.

I have also found that I am more emotional now and I find myself reflecting on the days gone by much more. Maybe a better way to state it is, more in touch with my emotions, more willing to let them show and to feel them instead of stuffing them down inside and not allowing them to surface. Much healthier approach, but also a bit, if I am being honest, annoying as I am not used to that yet. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I lived my life with a heart of stone, quite the opposite, I felt, but just hid it and kept it deep inside. While I am here on this...why is it such a bad thing for men to show emotion? Why is that so taboo in society? Men have to be "strong" and "suck it up." Dare to cry as a man, and dear lord you'd think you had a horn growing out your rear end. I have news for those that still think "real men don't cry or show emotion", that is a bunch of bs plain and simple. If you ask me, and nobody has, but I will put my 2 cents in anyway, real men are secure enough in themselves to show emotion and not be ashamed of it. Yes, I said it. We need to normalize this just as there are so many things about women that are taboo that shouldn't be.

So, in my quest to expand my comfort zone if you will, I am trying to be a bit more assertive with myself and putting myself out there a bit more on this new online format I have found. Not easy but I have managed to make a couple of new friends already which is nice as I love getting to know people and what makes them tick. There is a group of people on this site that I have been hanging with at night and they are super fun and have been so good for me. Mind you, I am still a bit out of my comfort zone with them, but that is miles away even from the first time I met any of them. I had seen them around the site quite a bit and they looked like good, fun people. I noticed that two of them were always there, so I picked one and friended her. She invited me to come and hang with them that night and we hopped from party to party. I was so overwhelmed and it was all so far out of my comfort zone that I just couldn't get comfortable that first night and actually have any fun. I just kind of hung in the background. When I logged off that night I told my sister that I felt super lame and like I had lost the ability to actually interact with people. I didn't think I could do it and almost decided to call it quits right then before I even started. I figured that was it for them, did not expect to hear from this girl again and certainly did not expect to be invited back to hang with them...but I was and just a short time later as I write this I feel like I have come a ways out of my comfort zone. I still have a ways to go until I am able to be completely myself within the group, but I feel like I get a little closer each time I am online with them. There are a couple of other people that I have friended as well outside that group. I still hesitate to send out a friend request, can't lie about that, and I still have to really push myself to even say hello when I see one of them out there, but again, I am slowly getting better at it and honestly, a couple of them make it really easy. It is a far cry from the days long ago when I was in chat rooms and one of my friends called me "the barnyard pimp" because I was chatting with so many different ladies, and at first I didn't think I had it in me anymore to be that social, but maybe I do.

Mind you, I am not looking for some great love of my life type situation with this. I just want to have some fun, pass the time and make some new friends that I can chat with and enjoy their company when I am there. I don't have it in me any longer to be looking for something more, and honestly, given my health issues, I wouldn't want to bring somebody else into that, and I am good with that.

I am also finding that I have gotten the story telling bug from my grandpa on my mom's side. That man loved to tell stories of his life and I exactly like him. Shouldn't surprise me, I feel like I have gotten so many other parts of my personality from him as well. Definitely could have picked somebody much worse to get traits from that is for sure...miss that guy a lot, but am happy to carry on the story telling side of the family LOL

So yeah, just trying each every day to expand that comfort zone and reach outside of it to continue the process of healing and getting back to my old self...or maybe even a new version that is better than the old one as I not always convinced the old version was that great anyway.

As always, be kind to one another and take time to check in. Until next time...

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emma-what-son · 4 years ago

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(Echee post) Emma Watson gets drunk and scales a fence naked

Posted on March 20, 2014

In her new interview for Elle Emma admitted something that correlates a tweet from a witness from in July 2011 on location filming Perks of being a Wallflower From snitchseeker.com May 2014, "Among her exploits: She dated a costar Johnny Simmons, and she broke into a swimming pool at 3 A.M. "It was at a hotel," she reports happily. "It had a gate around it. My friends turned around and basically, I was gone. And the next thing they saw was me seven feet up in the air, scaling this fence." This, apparently, is not as out of character as we might suppose. Watson says coyly: "I shouldn’t be able to get away with what I’m getting away with." Here is the tweet from July 2011 and here is a POST I originally posted it in at the time "@_MarieChristine $*MarieChristine; Saw @EmWatson get so drunk that she got naked n climbed the fence to go into the swimming pool at my friend's hotel......http://twitter.com/#!/_MarieChristine." So it was true. I'm not posting the quotes here (I'll link the posts with them below) but to generalize this is a girl that claims to be shy and doesn’t like to party and doesn’t drink to have a good time because it makes her really sleepy and she’s just so boring she says and blah, blah blah. She sucks people in with these statements are herself that makes people like her. It's not just about drinking and getting drunk but everything. Nothing about her is genuine in any shape or form. She is a fraud.

In a recent interview for Wonderland Magazine Emma admitted like she always has which has been one big lie that she's boring and doesn't like being the center of attention.

So in her Wonderland magazine Emma says she shy, socially awkward and a introverted person. For some reason I don't believe her. There are certain things about her that leads me to believe she is not shy or the least bit introverted. The first part of this question asked her straight out as she ever wanted to go off the rails and get drunk and she talked about getting a tattoo but never fully answered that question. The follow up question which is split below in two parts was, "But you’re not as puritanical as that, Emma" So let's look at some thing 1.) From wonderlandmagazine.com Feb 2014, "The truth is that I’m genuinely a shy, socially awkward, introverted person." Posing half naked

For years Emma has said she was shy. From topcelebrityheadlines.com June 2011, "I’m shy." From zimbio.com May 2011, "It's really hard to have a love story for me. I'm a famous actress. And I'm shy." From digitalspy.com October 2010, "Actually, I'm quite shy. I've never liked attention." From iheartwatson.net June 2011 “I still feel shy, but I feel more like I can accept it.” Her come hither looks which I limited for space reasons. There are many and I left out new ones from the Noah premiere. This is not a trait of shy and introverted people.

I doubt a truly shy and introverted people are going to say they'll strip to gain approval for anything. From mtv.com November 2010 (NYC Deathly Hallows) When we caught up with Watson just before she ducked into the theater, we informed her that 90 percent of our viewers had given her wardrobe choice — a specially made Calvin Klein gown — an enthusiastic thumbs-up in an MTV News online poll "Awww, really? Wow, that's such a high percentage!" she exclaimed. "Wow, I aced it, obviously. That's great." While 90 percent is definitely a high number, what might she do in order to get the full 100 percent of viewers' approval? "I don't know, take it off?" she quipped. Then there is her modeling which doesn't strike me as someone that is shy or introverted.

So shy and introverted she can tell a radio host some guy thinks she looks good naked From nudography.com 2008 'Harry Potter' film actress Emma Watson has said she would do a nude scene in a future film or stage role if the script called for it. Watson got on the topic of getting naked on BBC's Live Five radio "I think it's wonderful that Daniel is willing to be so brave for his craft. It's a big risk doing something like this while being so internationally known, but he's a true professional". When asked if she would ever bare all for her art, Watson replied, "Yes, absolutely. I would do it if the script called for it. I guess I would be a little nervous, but I've been told I look good naked, so I guess I've got little to worry about". When Shaffer asked Watson who thinks she looks good naked, she playfully said, "Now, now! I won't say. But I trust his expert opinion." Then there is her attention seeking along with her sultry poses and outfits she sometimes wears. Below is a series of photos from the Cannes for TBR. Everyone is walking up the steps arm and arm but Emma stops to grab the spotlight. Once she takes the arm of a cast mate she can't stop turning around smiling, giggling and waving. Once she gets to the top she hooting and hollering and then blows a series of kisses as her cast mates walk inside. This is not someone that is shy and introverted.

Claiming she wished she did more naughty things is yet another example of what a shy and introverted person would not say. From harrypotterfan.net Nov 2010, "I wished I’d done more naughty things. Three months ago I cut my hair and at that moment I felt I became a woman. I’m ready to start taking risks. I feel less girlish than ever." ... cough ... cough... From emma-watson.net September 2013 (GQ awards), “Given the perilousness in the journey from child star to adult, any award with ‘Woman’ in the title is frankly a relief!” <---- thought she, "I’ve never been in a terrible rush to be seen as a woman.” Then there is the choices of some of her outfits. If you're shy and introverted you're not going to show some flesh and you're certainly not going to show some flesh on TV or at a strip club. The last thing you want to do is draw attention to yourself. You'd be more than happy to dress modestly. There are just a few and I limited them for space reason as well. I left out her recent plunging neckline outfit from the Noah premiere in Madrid and many others like her famed 2009 HBP premiere wardrobe malfunction outfit.

From Elle magazine April 2011 iheartwatson.net, "Does having short hair make you dress differently? ’I think it’s made me bolder in my fashion choices. It’s allowed me to dress more sexily.’” cough ... cough... From omg.yahoo.com W magazine May 2013, “I’ve never wanted to grow up too fast: I wanted to wear a sports bra until I was 22! The allure of being sexy never really held any excitement for me. I’ve never been in a terrible rush to be seen as a woman.” Never heard of a shy and introverted person want o dress more sexually because of a haircut. Then there is her constant blowing of kisses which she does a lot of which all the classic pin ups like Marilyn Monroe ands other used to do. I guess it has nothing to do with shyness but introverted people are not going to go around blowing kisses at people or into the camera.

Then there are moments like this. Who does this? Shy and introverted? I think not. This is begging for attention and just plain weird.

Blowing kisses, posing, giving that sultry look and just enjoying all the attention is not the trait of a shy and introverted person.

Now the only thing I believe her on is the socially awkward part.

Now to the second part of that quote 2.) "At a big party, I’m like Bambie in the headlights. It’s too much stimulation for me, which is why I end up going to the bathroom! I need time outs! You’ve seen me at parties, Derek. I get anxious. I’m terrible at small talk and I have a ridiculously short attention span." I doubt this is true. She loves to be the center of attention on red carpets. She loves the attention. So why would parties be any different? At Coachella (bottom left photo) she was moshing at some points on stage.

This video shows her dancing on stage but there is another I lost of a video shooting down from the stage over Emma's head and you can see she's in plain view of the thousands in attendance. When I find it I'll post it. Shy and introverted people that can't take all the stimulation like she says would not put themselves out there amongst strangers and onlookers. If so, what kind of shy and introverted person is that? To see her drunk/leaving clubs and to read her contradicting quotes about drinking click these links below Emma doesn't like to party Emma never goes clubbing Emma can drink like sailor Emma lied about not drinking at Brown So basically like so much I covered on this blog by exposing her BS this is yet another example One more thing and it's a quote I've posted many times but she keeps on changing her tune In this new interview I started this post off with she also said From snitchseeker.com May 2014, "I was being offered roles that I didn’t feel were very complicated," she says. "Women that were a bit one-dimensional. Roles that required me to be one thing. Real women never are." So, rather than embrace mediocre work, she hid out in Providence, Rhode Island, emerging only for projects that would both stretch her muscles and challenge her public persona." But yet she said something different during her time at Brown From aceshowbiz.com November 2010 She tells U.S. magazine Parade, "I get some amazing offers to act, and sometimes it's hard to say, 'No, I'm going to stay here and do my homework.' People are like, 'What do you mean she's not available?' This college experience is really important to me, and I won't give it up." And yet it was not about roles at all two years ago. It was about her studying From nytimes.com September 2012, “Why hasn’t she done more films before now? “I think at first I didn’t because I was always either studying or filming, I didn’t have time to go off and do other films or other things to sort of show people that, Oh, she is not just Hermione, she is an actress and she can go and do these other parts and roles." So which is the truth and which is the lie? So Sam in Perks and Nicki in TBR were complicated roles that she ended up leaving two Universities for? How about her small role in MWWM that took her a little over a week to film?

#echee #echee's posts

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blissfulsaturn · 5 years ago

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Story time:

I don't know if anyone cares or wants to read this, but I'm gonna tell y'all when and why did i start believing in Charmie. So buckle up, who ever is reading this.

I've been a part of a lot of fandoms and they were usually about movies/TV shows/actors/actresses. I've always been a shipper of characters and not actors, I'd search their pictures by their character's names, read and write fanfics about the characters, i did everything that involved just their characters. Example : i used to ship Stiles and Derek from Teen Wolf, just them, not Dylan O'Brien or Tyler Hoechlin, same thing with the Maze runner, i shipped Newt and Thomas, and now Thomas Brodie Sanger and Dylan O' Brien (oh Dylan...lol) etc.

And then i saw Call me by your name, and i was shipping (still do) Elio and Oliver, but there was something more to it, i couldn't wrap my finger around it, something was missing, like it wasn't enough that it was just them. So i went online and watched all the interviews with Timothée and Armie.

Honestly, something you need to know about me, i was never involved in a private life of a celebrity or knew all this PR, Hollywood, fake relationships shit until i came here on Tumblr. So when i watched the interviews i was like "Aww they're such good friends, they're really close if they talk like that and touch each other like that, if they compliment each other like that etc", because i was like "You can't ship two actors, are you insane?? Armie's happily married with two kids, his wife looks good (on photoshopped pics, i never zoomed in her eyes and jaw), and Timmy's definitely straight and all that bs."

So time goes by, and I'm still shipping just Elio and Oliver, and Armie and Timothée like bros and good friends (that rolled around naked on bed, and made out for 10+ minutes).

And then TIFF happened and that was a breaking point for me. Even before TIFF when Timmy showed up after being a ghost for 6 months, and he showed up for Armie Hammer. That kind of spiked in my book, that was the first time i gave myself a permission to believe there's more to it than just friends. And then the TIFF hug and everything that happened at TIFF.

So i joined Tumblr and realized i wasn't the only one with that opinion, it was good but still wasn't enough for me. Now, I've seen Charmie being spread around and never really took it seriously, like i saw them as nothing but friends. But that hug, that hug was...everything to me. I'd think of Armie being married and then the hug, I'd think Timmy's probably straight, and then the hug. The TIFF hug undid all the doubts i had of them being just friends.

Then SSIFF happened and the rumor about Tim going to dinner with LRD and then his eyes, those sad eyes, he wasn't sick, we've seen him being sick, it wasn't the same. No, those eyes were pure sadness and anxiety, and i remember seeing him like that and all I wanted to do is fly over to Spain to hug him for whatever reason.

Fast forward to the first Central Park picture of Tim and Lily.

That's when i got very suspicious. Okay, they were at TIFF and SSIFF, there was no interaction, that rumor of them going to the same dinner was just a rumor until the black and white picture came out months later (where Timmy looked like he was holding some sort of guard), how come this relationship just sparked out of nowhere? (Lily was on the set for 2 weeks, no time to fall in love) Then Mud happened, then those pictures from the rain, then those from Central Park, and all the gossips and rumors and made up stories...everything was so suspicious to me. So i log onto Tumblr again and saw all the theories and i tried to develop my very own.

If Charmie was just a fantasy, and it was made up by couple of people on the internet, then it shouldn't bother anybody, because it was just a fantasy, and this relationship began so close to the TIFF hug that got me thinking "What if it's not just a fantasy but something real, and they're covering something up?". Because, let's face it, not in a millions of years would I ever put Timmy and Lily together in a relationship. He was Tim, and she was very problematic (from family to drugs, lbr). It got me to question either Timmy and his choice of women, or his PR team (I learned that here). But Timmy went on being his perky self and this relationship just stunk to the core.

And from that point on, everything was smooth sailing.

Maybe I've gotten far into something I shouldn't have, but the point is, the reason why i started to believe in Charmie is because of the fake relationship. It was too close to them being publicly affectionate and too far from thinking Tim would really fall for a woman like that. I'm sure Lily's okay in a closed room alone, but in public, i don't like her very much and it has nothing to do with Tim, or me being a jealous person that wants Tim all for myself (he's not my type), i wouldn't follow someone like her and her insights in the world. Simple as that.

After that, i turned the film around and realized that they've probably been "together" since CMBYN promo or so. The fact that "friendship" like Tim's and Armie's had to be covered by a fake girlfriend and a wife that was rather a control freak, then i got my thoughts straight.

Now i know what we say about Tim and Lily, and Armie and Liz, they could all be legit and really in love and happy, but...i just don't see it. And i know what we say about Tim and Armie could be false, or it could be true, we're just speculating, but my God, when all the pieces are put together, when all the videos of them gawking at each other, their body language, their eyes and compliments, just them being them...it's hard to see them as just friends and co-stars. They went through something when they were filming CMBYN, and I seriously doubt they stopped at that. I think this movie awoke something in both of them and they deepened the bond and it got them where they are now.

So, thank you PR teams for making me believe in Charmie, you did a shitty job and each time you screw up a bit, I believe in them even more, because the more you try to cover something up, the more real it gets for me. And it's not just them, it's the entire picture, this is very simple and people with logical thinking can see it also.

Conclusion : I am a Charmie, i love and support both Armie and Timmy separately and together, i don't like Lily and i think Liz is very...something. No hate, this is just my opinion on all this.

Have a great day, sorry for the long post, here's some Charmie love.❤️

#charmie

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softestsaddestbitch · 4 years ago

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December TC Challenge

stole this from @elder-edda (sorry for creeping! just, given the usual demographic of the tc community I was excited to find another 20-smthg)

1) what color is your tc’s hair?

He has just, simple brown hair but he’s starting to go grey which, no lie, is 100% doing it for me.

2) is your tc married?

Yes? He doesn’t wear a ring and I believe she kept her last name which makes me think it’s more of a civil partnership since they’ve been together since the early 2000s at least. But he also will refer to her as “my wife” and was telling me once that they waited until “after they got married” before moving in together.

3) if yes, do you care? would you do something with them regardless of their marriage?

I know these questions are general but I do take offense at the idea of being a homewrecker/other woman. I’ve met his wife, she’s really nice.

4) what’s your worst memory with your tc?

I put my foot in my mouth SO OFTEN. Good lord. Especially my last semester at that school? He was acting weird and I had just realized after fucking ... four years?? that I romantically liked him. So I kept bringing up my weird age fixation and other bs bc I have adhd and am possibly autistic?? and can’t read a room to save my life.

5) what’s your best memory with your tc?

One year we had a really bad snowstorm, so bad in fact that I had my first-ever snow day. The college that I used to go to has four campuses across as many cities, and C has to drive in twice a week to my (old) town from his. Now, morning classes had been canceled but afternoon classes had been given the go-ahead. C, who does not check his emails until he arrives at campus, evidently did not get this message until he was already in town and therefore didn’t have a morning class, but did have an afternoon class. On this day I had a late morning class that had been reinstated, but my prof didn’t get that memo so I also was on campus but didn’t have a class. So I went to visit his office, which I had been doing throughout the semester (I didn’t have a class with him at the time) and we just ... hung out for like 2 hours. It was so nice and one of the anecdotes he told me still haunts me lol.

sidenote: at the time, I hadn’t yet realized that I liked him, but I still went out of my way to visit him. Damn I was a dumbass.

6) does anyone in your school know how you feel?

ish? I told a classmate but in a “haha joking” kinda way. And a friend who went to that school knows. No one at my current school knows.

7) does your tc know how you feel?

I think he might? might have a lil inkling which would explain why he started acting so weird my last semester. Or at the very least was told/realized how bad it could look that he was getting so chummy w/ a student.

8) do you think there’s any chance your tc reciprocates your feelings?

He and his wife have been together for around 20 years now. No. No, I don’t think so. Maybe in an alternate universe.

9) are you getting your tc a christmas present? if so, what is it?

I have in the past! Specifically like, a tin of cookies lol. I’ve also given him an actual present when I left. I do intend to send him a Christmas card every year but not this year because ... you know ... the apocalypse.

10) have you ever flirted with your tc?

Flirtation inherently has intent. So, no. How he interpreted our interactions I don’t know.

11) how long have you had a crush on them? what began it all?

SO! TIMELINE!

I was at my old school from September 2014-April 2019, I had C for the first time in September 2015. Like I mentioned above, I did not realize I had a crush on him until literally the middle of my final exam of my class with him December 2018, so I’ve only consciously had a crush for about two years now. However, as I also mentioned, I went out of my way to stop by his office, even when I didn’t have a class with him. And my relationship with/feelings towards him are complicated so I’m not going to say I did so solely because I like him, but I would put it maybe closer to somewhere in 2017. You don’t plan your schedule around someone you don’t feel strong feelings for.

12) do you believe you’ll get over them shortly after you stop taking their class/have the chance to spend time with them?

As of today, it has been been exactly a year and a half since I last him in person. In the time since, I have cried over missing him, routinely gone back to keep up with his current research projects, and made his picture a part of my home screen. I almost exclusively listen to the playlist I made for him - so much so my Spotify Wrapped is pretty much that playlist with a few extras.

13) what kind of grades do you get in their class?

Haaaaaa pre-supension I was failing his classes. My first semester back I got .... a mid/high 70? and I finished my last class with him with an A+ and the essay I had written for his class had the highest grade between the two classes so..

14) does your tc ever do any tiny, little things that you adore?

When he puts a hand in his pocket and leans against the wall. When he tucks his hair behind his ear because he keeps falling in his face (he has long hair, a little past his shoulders). When he can’t stop himself from googling something even if its in the middle of class. How you can ask him anything at any time. The way he would chuckle at my jokes. How his handwriting hasn’t improved in decades. How easily he brushes off toxic masculinity. His candidness and willingness to share little anecdotes. The way he used to always smile whenever he saw me. That he goes home everyday to have lunch with his wife.

15) are you their favorite student?

I was! And it was obvious to other students that we had a friendly, casual relationship too. For a time, if his other students had questions about him they would ask me, and I usually had the answer. I didn’t matter in the long run, but I was.

16) do you two share any tastes? movies, books, music, etc.

He’s a legal historian, I’m a baby legal/political historian. We also like the same historical cooking youtube channel.

17) is your teacher religious?

I doubt he would say he’s religious, but I feel like we have a similar relationship to religion which is to say no formal association, but had profound effects on our childhoods and subsequently, presumably, how we view things as adults.

18) do you masturbate to them?

Yes.

19) do you communicate with them outside of school?

I sent him a meme once. And asked about the socialist uprising scandal he was apart of. I also almost emailed him while at a museum exhibition with my history friend. These are all through email.

20) do you have any tc songs or songs you relate to your tc? what are they?

SO my number one song this year was “You are the Reason” by Calum Scott because, you guessed it, of him. But also:

I Lost a Friend - Finneas When You’re Ready - Shawn Mendes You Are in Love - Taylor Swift Break My Heart Right - James

& given the season, especially w/ what transpired last year, Last Christmas by Wham!

21) what’s your favorite thing your tc has said/memory you have with them?

One time he kinda trailed off in the middle of lecture after stating that he thought of xyz a particular way which contrasted one of the popular schools of thought, and the way he plainly said, “well, yeah, which I guess ... is I’m arguing it” almost like he was semi-surprised with himself has always stuck with me.

But also, in addition the memory I shared earlier, we spent an hour and a half talking about grad school and what to expect and how to get there.

22) do you plan to continue a relationship with them after you leave school?

I trid, I really did. But he doesn’t “socialize with students part or present” so I can’t exactly see him. But I did get some academic-related from him at the beginning of the year.

23) how will you deal during the summer? will you see him/her?

He’s a hermit who used my last vacation before I moved to go on all the vacations he had to postpone because he was working on his last book. And this past summer ... Covid. This question is obviously directed at high school students, but in general, he lives in the back of head always, and when I’m in my hometown for the summer my heart aches because theres a none-zero chance I’ll see him, but I know I won’t.

24) does your tc support gay rights?

Yes. He’s never been put in a position that I know of where he had to outright condemn homophobia, but in one of his classes, he actively made the choice to make the very first reading of the semester about how women in ancient times had more agency than assumed, and also how the woman in the case study was a lesbian.

25) what class do you have with them? And what period? Do you have them every day?

History classes. I won’t get into specifics because it’s kind of an eclectic mix and I’m paranoid someone from the area could come across this. But I had him twice a week every semester that I had him. Again this kind of question is more so applicable to high school students, not so much university students.

26) have you ever drifted out during a lecture thinking about them and missed information?

No. In his classes he is too enthralling, and I’m a good student otherwise.

27) have you stalked them online? what did you find out?

In theory. He’s a fifty-year-old history professor whose reaction to a description of the big lipped/tiny face filter on snapchat was “that sounds disgusting.” The man doesn’t have social media, and if he does those privacy settings are on so students can’t find him he thinks he’s very professional. I do visit his mini-bio section on the college website fairly often tho.

28) have you ever run into them outside of schools? what happened?

I did once. He introduced me to his wife, who said “oh you’re E! C has talked about you” and it apparently he had done so positively, and blew my mind because this was back when I was failing classes and also, as a person, I don’t believe that people think about me when I’m not there. They gave me a restaurant recommendation and afterwards his wife surprised me a they were leaving the restaurant because ... we had listened to them, and they also went there for lunch that day.

29) has your tc ever spoken of teacher-student relationships? what did they say?

It had recently come out that it had been found out that another professor had been in a relationship with a student and he’s the one that brought it up before class one day (with all of us not just me). He didn’t say anything for or against it, just that it was generally discouraged, but that most schools did have policies in place to handle the situation.

30) do you regret telling anyone about your tc? if you’ve kept it a secret, why have you done so?

Absolutely not. I can’t tell my best friends because they’d do nothing but give me shit for it and it would call every time I mention him into question. But the friends that I have told ... its been so freeing, and like a weight has been lifted from my heart. One friend in particular I unloaded on her all my emotional shit pertaining to him this past summer and she was so understanding it legit since then I’ve been less distraught when thinking about him. It still hurts, but it feels less like I’m suffocating now.

#personal #professor crush #professor crush community #teacher crush #monthly challenge #december

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shannonbussberg · 4 years ago

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Shannon Marie Bussberg is a psychopath who caused me great harm in many ways. I'm writing this as an explanation to warn off any who come in contact with her. I'm not trying to exact vengeance on her. The only thing I want from her is the money that she stole from me. A sincere and deep apology, of course, would be nice, but she would never do that. The first part of the writing below largely comprises something that I sent to Shannon recently, and the rest is addressed to you, the reader. Please keep an open mind.

***

(Note: I sent an earlier version of this writing to Shannon, hoping that she would make restitution. She said that she wouldn't, and that she came here to live with me to help me with my depression. Complete BS. Shouldered no blame at all.

Shannon,

As you know, you stole, through forgeries, all the money I had, and you put me in deep shit, not to mention throwing me into tons of debt from all the credit cards you took out in my name. I was in trouble with the IRS over the documents you forged, my credit was nonexistent, and I was psychologically destroyed. You put me in a space that I would never trust anyone ever again. You know all that you did to me, and you never tried anything to make it right.

Although you cost me so, so much pain and suffering, I’m willing to let most of that go financially. But I want recompense for the money you stole and the inflation on that money. Also the damage caused to my teeth when I was unable to afford repairs because of your thefts. Steve might lend you the money--he helped you out financially when you got in trouble for taking money from credit cards under my sister's name. So maybe he'll do that for you now.

(You know, you used to tell me that you're going to Hell. I of course assumed that you were exaggerating. Now I wonder what all other things you're done. An aside: you used to tell me that you would never pay back your student loans, and that as a result you'd have to go to school periodically for the rest of your life to avoid paying the loans back. That did bother me, because it basically meant that you'd be stealing from other students in the future. More recently I saw that you'd somehow got a master's degree. That seemed strange, since you're not a good student--having me do as much as your school and work stuff for you as possible when you were here. So I assumed that you got the degree from online courses, as part of your loan payback avoidance plan. Sure enough I see that your school has optional online coursework.)

If you don’t try to make things right, here’s what I will do. First off, I’ll tell the truth to your whole family. (It was so horrible to have to listen to your mother try to “explain” to me that you were living with me in order to try to “help” me--a lie you told your parents in order to cover the long period while you were not working, while living on the stolen money. Apparently you told her that you were my caretaker of some sort. I'm definitely going to set her straight on that.) My story will be a complete one, and you know that I don't lie. Plus I have *tons* of documents to back me up—everything from police and post office documents, to the forensic document examination report, to copies of the actual documents that you forged. (Plus I became something of a document examiner myself, so that people could see with their own eyes that you’re a forger. For example, doing your school years, you changed the way you form a particular letter--for example, in the forged signature for my last name--in a way that is nearly completely unique in this day and age. And the documents you created have all the hallmarks that document examiners know about forgeries.)

But I will use the internet as well. Social media of all kinds, of course. Forums, relevant sites. Anyplace I can find, with, as before, documents that back me up. People need to know who they’re dealing with in their lives.

***

To the reader: Shannon Marie Bussberg and I live in different states, and met online through a kinky match site. For a long while, we communicated with email and text. Then she told me that she was entering summer school at a prestigious university near me. This was a total lie, as I later learned from them when I was contacting them for writing samples for the document examiner. She ended up living at my place while she pretended to go to school. Then she stayed here with me after school supposedly ended for the term, and lived here for years, meanwhile stealing everything I had (except for a half ownership in the family house). She worked for a little while, but soon stopped, preferring to bleed me while she destroyed me. I loved her, which was a huge misjudgment on my part. In my defense, she hid her lies very well; she is a very good psychopath, and I never noticed any lies while she was here. After she used up all of my money and more, she stole from my sister, who was not in love and less gullible and vulnerable than I. That put the police on her tail, and Shannon, seeing a bleak future ahead for herself if she stayed, went back to Indiana. She, no doubt hoping that everything would blow over and she'd be able to return to continue parasitizing me further, perhaps taking the house (she had wanted to marry me, and I suspect that was the house was her objective for that). I truly thought she was innocent, for way too long. But since she was now back in Indiana and no longer had access to my mail (though she wanted me to send my mail to her, for her to "sort"), a letter from the IRS, telling me about taxes that I knew I didn't owe, was shocking. I still thought that, somehow, she was innocent, but before long I realized the truth. Looking back, I know that she only came to live with me for two reasons: my trusting vulnerability and her unusual sexual proclivities. She never loved me. The bottom line, for readers that encounter her, is that Shannon is a psychopath, is a very convincing liar, and neither looks nor acts like a psychopath. You should skip first impressions, and observe her for a while. I'm particularly concerned for her son, and the effect her behavior has on him.

On to my tidbits directed to Shannon.

⦁ 00, which was our code for a particular form of sex practice. I'm certain that's the main reason that you came to this city. The practice was disgusting and dangerous for me. And you should know that I’ve suffered permanent serious physical damage because of it. Maybe I should describe it in detail, but I'd truly like to avoid sharing it in public if at all possible, even though it gives a great insight into your evil. I'll probably wait for a little while to see whether you're going to make things right, and if you don't, give a more full account. There’s so much related info to tell people, such as the time you tried to drown me in the bathtub. Keep in mind, Shannon, that the story makes you look far worse than me.

⦁ You told the police—TWICE—that I sexually abused you. The irony, of course, is that our roles were exactly reversed. It’s interesting that, when I told the detective that I wanted to press charges against you, he predicted, matter-of-factly, that you would make that claim against me. At the time I didn’t believe him, but he was right. By his statement I guess that many women lie a lot about such things when claims are made against them.

⦁ When you stole the car (yes, OF COURSE I have documents about that as well—and I talked to the prosecutor later), you left a lot of my CDs in there. Then, when I got furious with law enforcement and the judicial system for picking on my poor, innocent (sarcasm), girlfriend, I persuaded you to go to your home state with me so that I could try to straighten things out for you. I don’t know why you agreed to go there, because of course you wouldn’t let me talk to the prosecutor and thereby learn the truth. More important these days is that you wouldn’t “permit” me to go to the police to pick up the CDs from the car, obviously because you were afraid of hearing the truth from them. The result is that I not only didn’t get the CDs, but I didn’t even remember all of the artists and titles, so that I couldn’t replace them. Of course, that's just one of many messes you left behind for me to try to straighten up, such as the reader you stole from the library, the tons of library fines over books you stole, all the services you secretly attached to my landline, and the bill that you ran up on the cell phone that was under my name but that you were the one that used.

⦁ When you decided to screw me over, you knew that any letters and such sent to my address increased your chance of being discovered. So you went to a nearby town's post office, and opened a post office box there. You even added my dead mother's name to the box. I still have the forged federal application in your handwriting.

⦁ One of the writings you left behind was a letter to my money fund, telling them to make you the beneficiary if I die. You sucked up my money so fast and thoroughly that you never had an opportunity to actually send it in, but of course I still have it, with your handwriting. But the take-home message is that you were hoping for my death. Or maybe planning it? If you had played it straightforwardly, you could have just asked me to write it myself. Back in those innocent days, I would have done it for you eagerly.

⦁ When you knew that time was running out between you and the police because you also stole from my sister, you prepared, behind my back, for your departure. You hid all kinds of your stuff in the attic behind the costumes you and I had gathered. That’s how I got so many writing samples for the document examiner to use. Previously I had written to your former employers for any scraps. Treasure trove, afterward.

⦁ When you left, we stayed in contact for a while, before I knew the full truth of what you had done. You asked me to mail your sewing machine to you, while you encouraged me to drink a lot of vodka so I’d finish the task. And you even had me send you money for food. You used me like a parasite does, knowing full well that I was going to have to go through total financial hell in the near future. What kind of human being does that to someone else? A psychopath.

⦁ I noticed that you were looking for a car right after you left. Which is really, really wrong, because I had no car at this point and you left me with no money for a car of my own. Which makes me wonder: there was a lot of money that we could have used to buy a car before, but instead you insisted on continually getting rental cars (supposedly paid for by your father, but really paid out of the money you stole from me). Why did you do that? Buying a car outright would have made my money last longer, so this makes no sense, even for a psychopath. Is it because it would be more obvious that I alone was paying for the car for the both of us?

⦁ I emailed with your former roommate or friend (was her name Elizabeth?—I can’t exactly remember, although I can dig it up if necessary). She said that you were the most deceptive person she’d ever met. I will give you that—you certainly don’t have the *appearance* of a psychopath, shy and quiet acting and all.

⦁ Afterward, in an email to Stacy, you said that my sister and I were totally screwed up. But neither one of us hurt anyone, while you stole from both of us and destroyed one of us.,

⦁ I remember when we were first started off with emailing back and forth, I was online, both day and night. Later I asked whether it seemed strange that I was always available, and asked what you’d thought about that. You said that you’d assumed I was a genius child, keeping school hours. I was shocked, because we were conducting some seriously kinky conversation. Didn’t you worry about damaging the kid psychologically? Nope, you said.

⦁ An aside: In college, you ran away without telling anyone, leaving people thinking, for a long time, that you were dead. (Documentation is available in newspaper copies online.) When you told me about it later, you showed me a picture of your father during the time your parents spent searching for you. He was exhausted and depressed. But instead of that making you feel bad about what you had caused, you were proud that you had evaded detection. At the time, I assumed that I was reading your emotions wrong. But I now know better.

⦁ I just remembered: Once you and I happened to be driving behind a strip mall after hours. A cop car started following us. You were cool. You suggested to me that I should get out and pretend to be examining the tire tread for a stuck rock. That worked fine, and the cop moved on. I told you that I had been nervous. You told me that you hadn't been, because you always assume that you are smarter than the police. That seemed incredibly arrogant to me. True, you might be smarter than some individual cops. But you don't have their training and experience, the capability to call other police on the radio for backup, and weaponry. Every once in a while you'd let such incredible arrogance show through.

⦁ I remembered this as well. Once you joked, about a woman whose child had been killed, that it was no big deal since she can always make another. After you left here, I read a lot of books about psychopaths, to try to figure you out. The author of one of the books told the exact same joke, as an example of how psychopaths have a lack of empathy. I always wondered whether you told the joke because you had read in the same book, while you were reading to try to understand your own self.

⦁ After the police went to Indianapolis to interrogate you, they told me that you'd agreed to pay me back everything you stole. But you never sent me anything at all. I aim to change that. Please don't make the mistake that if you just ignore this email, I will simply drop it all.

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wandering-wizardry · 4 years ago

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Book Review: Moon Spells by Diane Ahlquist

Syntax(Does it read well?):

There are several errors an editor should have picked up on. missing punctuation, typos, poor word choice. Overall, the book should have been work-shopped more before going to print.

(6/10) Perfectly usable, but loses some clarity with poor word choice and sentence structure. Also, the syntax errors are annoying.

Content(Is the book is just stuff you could have googled?):

35/243 pages are just lists and/or stuff that is easily available for free online, so 14%. 141/243 pages are spells, which, while content, are formatted in a way that they take up a lot of room, 58%. Only 30% of the book is information. Taking out the spell pages, 65% of the book is information.

(6.5/10) Not as much information as I would like. The references are good, but again, google is free.

Diversity of Knowledge(Does author appears to understand that other cultures exist?):

At one point refers to Diana as the moon goddess instead of a moon goddess, -1.

The tools referenced are all the standard ones we know from ceremonial magic/wicca. I didn’t notice any closed culture ones, so that is a plus. But overall, the tools are bland.

Does have a short explanation of Chinese Astrology in the back along with Numerology and Western Astrology. Honestly, I don’t know why she bothered to put any of these in here, but from what I understand of Chinese astrology it’s accurate.

(7/10) The contents are very clearly England based, however other practices are acknowledged. The author never swerved wildly out of their lane.

Sources(Are there any?):

References higher crime rates during the full moon. I learned this was BS week 1 of statistics. -1

It does have a bibliography at the end. It’s one full page, which is a little short for my liking, but at least it has it. It doesn’t site in the text where each source is used.

(6/10) I really don’t want to hunt down every one of these publications and read them.

Appropriation(Point off for every mention of dream catchers, spirit animals, and chakras):

“Ancient Civilizations were very respectful of the Moon’s power:” -1

(9/10) As far as I noticed there was nothing that came from a closed culture.

Aesthetics(Because none of us want to read a textbook):

It looks great, diagrams and art galore.

(10/10)

Fluff(How much of it sounds like new age bs?):

“I feel that all those who believe in a higher power than ourselves, have respect for each other... all answer to the same Divine” -3

Outside of roman polytheism can we please let this interpretation die already? Maybe it’s just the fact that anything that reminds me of evangelical Christianity give me hives, but I hate this take. It also feel very colonial. This does have historical backing, but it’s mostly shitty historical backing. Here.

(6/10) About that you’d expect. More research should have been done.

Wiccan(How many times is wicca reference in a book that looks secular(N/A when the book is advertised as wiccan)?):

Claims to be non-denominational, however there are clearly some parts that are wiccan. In the introduction, she states you’ll have to believe in some form of higher power, so it’s all right hand magic.

(5/10) It was published in 2002 by a middle age white woman who describes herself as a “third-generation intuitive”.

Hetero/cisnormative(If I see one mention of ‘divine feminine’ outside of an academic context I’m gonna lose my shit):

This book was published in 2002, so it has a bit of an excuse, but still. The moon is refereed to as ‘her’. There are two sections marked for women and men respectively.

Women Only. There is a preamble that kind of implies women are better at magic because they’re more emotionally open. It is stated as an opinion however, so -1. Contains a fertility spells, an easy childbirth spell, and a love spell. The first two are fine, they can be used by any afab person. The love spell however... Feminine intuition and Feminine Power... -2.

Men Only. This has a Love spell and a Fatherhood one. The fatherhood spell seems great. The love spell needs more work, as just by reading it I can’t really tell what it does. It feels more like a general prayer.

(7/10) There’s no ‘pussy to the earth’ moment, but still could have been better.

Spells(Do I think they would work?):

Each spell has the exact same formatting, which takes up a lot of space. The same information is copy pasted into every single spell. Each spell has no explanation other than the title. A lot of them are good ideas, but the author clearly hasn’t done much research into magical theory.

(3/10) Cool ideas, but almost all of them would need to be workshopped to be of any use.

Tone(My opinion of the author after reading):

At one point she talks about one of her clients in a tone that makes me think she didn’t really respect him. It felt like she thought she knew better about his life than he did.

From what I can tell the author offers counseling, but nowhere does it say she has the medical qualifications.

There are a lot of “I feel” and “I believe” which on one hand is good, they aren’t stating opinion as fact. On the other hand, it becomes a slog.

When gender is brought up, it is clear that the author favors women. It’s not brought up much, but when it is it’s very obvious.

(4/10) Please get a medical license before you offer counseling.

Total: 69.5/110

Recommendation: There is nothing ground breaking in here. In you’re a lunar witch, it may be a fun thing to pick bits and pieces out of to incorporate into your practice.

No historical research seems to have been done. The entire thing seems to be personal Gnosis. Overall it’s just Meh. The only really good thing about it is the correspondences are detailed.

#magic #witch #witchcraft #moon spells #book review #magick #spells #moon spells by diana ahlquist

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realbodyrevolution · 5 years ago

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Practical Guide for Body Acceptance

By Real Body Revolution

I hear this question a lot – “How do I begin to accept my body?” or “Where do I start?” If you’re asking this question, you may already intellectually understand body acceptance and even support it (particularly for other people), but how do you apply it to your own life? How do you take theory and put it into practice? Here’s what worked for me and I sincerely hope it will help you. Remember, the journey will be different for each traveller, but maybe this will get you going in the right direction!

1. Learn! Understanding the social context and history of beauty standards was very empowering for me. It helped me realize that this isn’t a “me” issue. I am not alone in this and the self-loathing I’ve been feeling was generated externally and had been nurtured since early childhood. I also discovered that all this “thin = health” stuff is BS, along with dieting and weight loss in general. The messaging we keep receiving from this War on Obesity is not in line with the science and is actually more like a faith-based religion that irrationally hates fat. Here’s a list of books that were pivotal in my journey: Body Acceptance Arsenal. Check your library if funds are tight!

2. Update your internal beauty standard. This is the idea of beauty you hold in your mind, shaped by decades of external influence and formed by seeing the same unrealistic, unattainable versions of beauty over and over again, until you believe that it’s the only way to be beautiful. It’s not. To update your internal beauty standard, you can use my Tumblr or any others that regularly post images of diverse bodies. I created my Tumblr to serve as a library of images that do not conform to traditional beauty standards with the purpose of nurturing body acceptance and updating the viewer's internal beauty standards to include a diverse range of bodies. This is a counter measure to the millions of messages we are exposed to daily so please, check in often to maintain a more inclusive view of beauty for yourself and others.

Also, curate your social media feed by unsubscribing from accounts that promote traditional beauty standards. You’ve seen enough of this to last a life time and will continue to be exposed to it on the daily just from magazine covers at grocery store checkouts to billboards when you’re walking to work so, no need to see it on your feed. Subscribe instead to accounts that promote body acceptance or diverse imagery. Here are some suggestions of people to follow (it’s not an exhaustive list at all, just something to get you started): https://www.verywellmind.com/body-positive-influencers-4165953 I also recommend: Christy Harrison, Fat Girl Flow, Margie Plus, Dexter Mayfield, Yulianna Yussef, Baddie Winkle, Ruby Roxx and Advanced Style.

3. Create a support system of like-minded individuals. You can do this by sharing what you’re learning by those around you, but not everyone in your life will be receptive to this (sadly). So I would suggest joining some online support groups, like on Facebook. Make sure the groups are diet-free zones and for every body.

4. Start healing your relationship with food and ditch diet culture for good. If you do the readings I suggested, you will learn the truth about dieting. Knowing the truth isn’t enough though, you have to actively break-up with diet culture. Throw out your scale and if you can’t stomach doing that yet, get someone to hide it for you. Out of sight, out of mind. I would also strongly suggest exploring and practicing Intuitive Eating. There are a lot of great resources out there for this, but my favorites are The F*ck It Diet book and Julie Duffy Dillon’s podcast “Love, Food”.

5. Rebuild your self-worth. Being beautiful is not rent you owe the world for existing and your appearance and weight do not define your worth. What I’ve found super helpful is developing an inner nurturing voice to counter my inner critic. I wrote a separate post on how to do this here: Silencing Your Inner Critic and Developing a Nurturing Voice to Replace It.

6. Practice self-compassion. Touch yourself lovingly, especially the parts of your body you’re disconnected from or feel the most animosity towards. Stroke these parts softly and say loving things to them while you do it. For me, it was my tummy. I started referring to it as my marshmallow and thanking it for turning food into energy and keeping me alive. Treat yourself the way you would treat a loved one or a child and stop punishing yourself! For example, don’t wear or hang on to clothes that are too tight for your current body and remind you constantly that you’ve gained weight. Self-care can mean doing a closet purge. Get rid of your “skinny jeans” because they are a daily subconcious message that you’re “hoping to get into them again some day”. Go through everything, try it on. If it doesn’t fit, it comes out of the closet. You can either purge these items or tuck them away in a storage bin. Replenish your wardrobe with items that fit (the size doesn’t matter, only the fit) and that make you feel confident. If you’re on a budget, you can do this process one item at a time, as you can afford it.

7. Let go of the dream of future weight loss. This part was the hardest for me and I went through a grieving process when I had to finally let go of some future skinny version of me. One thing I did is write down all the things that I imagined being thinner would get me in life and then address each of those things individually. For example, one thing I identified was that I had this fantasy of wearing a bikini on the beach with confidence. Turns out, I can wear a bikini on the beach at any size if I have internal confidence. Also.. what beaches am I even dreaming about? Tbh, I don’t even like the beach and have no strong desire to go to one regardless of what size I’m in – I don’t do well with heat, sand, water in my face or sharks. A lot of the fantasies I had in my head about being thin had never been challenged before and did not hold up to scrutiny so were surprisingly easy to demolish.

8. Face your internalized fat phobia. It can be a really uncomfortable process, but you need to face your deepest, darkest, hidden feelings about fatness. For me, body acceptance was okay for everyone else, just not for me. I still (secretly) wished I was thinner. I still (secretly) felt like my fat body wasn’t worthy as it was. Similar to the process above, I wrote out everything I was telling myself about what fat means for me. One thing that came out of it was the fear of not being attractive to others. Here’s the thing I now know with certainty - I don’t want to be chosen by others for what I look like. I flat out do not respect people who body shame or dismiss people based on appearance. And I recognize appearance changes with age, so anyone choosing me based on my appearance is only choosing how I look in that moment – it’s a temporary, superficial choice. So why would I invest my time and energy into someone like that? The one thing I can count on in life is that my body will change over time and with age, so I will not commit for less than unconditional love. Also, quality over quantity! If you are conventionally beautiful, you may have more people chasing after you.. but what kind of people are they? And how exhausting and frustrating would be it be to have to sort through all these superficial, shallow people who only like you for what you look like? In my humble opinion, it’s not a benefit, it’s a time waster. I now look at being fat as a super power when it comes to relationships of any kind – my fatness will expose someone’s fat phobia, shallowness or body shaming tendencies lightning fast and I don’t have to waste any more time with them.

9. Stop comparing yourself to others! Comparison is the thief of joy and another person’s beauty is not the absence of your own. A useful metaphor is to think about flowers. There is a huge range of diversity among flowers. All different shapes, colors, sizes and formations. All beautiful in their own way. And people all have different tastes when it comes to flowers - some prefer calla lilies, others prefer the black bat flower. Remember: “A rose can never be a sunflower and a sunflower can never be a rose… all flowers are beautiful in their own way and that’s like women too” – Miranda Kerr. Take this a step further and actively lift other people up on a daily basis. This can be people you know or complete strangers. If you see someone walk by with a killer outfit, tell them you love it. If your friend is considering dieting, tell them they are worthy exactly as they are – no diet necessary. This can help move you beyond jealous feelings caused by comparison and help you develop an appreciation for others instead of competition.

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Keep in mind that this journey is tough and requires effort. You’ve been bound in self-loathing for decades and it all has to be undone, one knot at a time. It’ll feel daunting and will be full of ups and downs. While you are healing your relationship with your body and food, you will probably be triggered often. Whenever this happened to me, I would use the trigger as a tool to show me what I still needed to work on because part of why it bothered me was because I believed it was true (otherwise, I would have dismissed it as rudeness or ignorance on someone else’s part). To move beyond feeling triggered or discouraged, do something to remind you of your goal of body acceptance and your worth (listen to a podcast, view some diverse images, reach out to your online support group, re-read one of the books in the list, etc).

You can do this. <3

#body acceptance #self love #fat acceptance #body positive

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hellzyeahwebwielingessays · 5 years ago

Link

Lets debunk the BS from this. Up top a lot of this BS comes from Bob Chipman/MovieBob who is the guy who if you recall said:

- Superheroes like Superman (and thus by extension Spider-Man who marry civilians were jerks for putting their spouses through the same stuff soldiers’ spouses go through

- Spider-Man appeals best to teens (even though he provably doesn’t since most people get into him before their teens and he appealed to college students in his heyday)

- The Spider-Marriage was nothing more than a forced publicity stunt

- Sins Past is worse than OMD

- Spider-Man is about passive aggressive power

- And the best one, ever since OMD Peter and MJ had become ‘more interesting’

That all being said lets dive into this:

Someone asked the panel what a queer reading would add to the character of Miles…Jesus…that’s just the greatest sign of hope for this podcast isn’t it? Shoot me now…

Miles was not 3 dimensional when he was created. Even if you disagree it is nonsense to say that Peter wasn’t three dimensional when he was first created. Just look at how much Stan explored Peter’s psychology in this singular panel from ASM #50

Look at that. Peter Parker pulled between the two sides of his life. Making a judgement of someone. But then calling out his own judgement of them and acknowledging maybe he’s in the wrong.

This was 1967!

That isn’t three dimensional?

Additionally other people would disagree that Peter wasn’t three dimensional early on.

And even if you disagree with that it’s nonsense to say he hasn’t SINCE become three dimensional or that retaining his origin story (which Miles broadly uses as the basis for his story in every version of his character) somehow holds him back from being three dimensional. If nothing else Peter was at least multifaceted for the time period.

Spider-Man wasn’t an example of stories about a 15 year old made for 7 year olds. Spider-Man was intended to be a senior in AF #15 and the stories were written by Stan for at worst an older audience but at best basically just for him.

Stan Lee confirmed that AF #15 was written not as a one off but as something that if successful COULD become an on-going series.

Its BS to say Peter makes no sense as a character because he makes sense about as much as any character within the confines of the superhero genre can. MILES doesn’t somehow make more sense whatsoever.

No. Spider-Man wasn’t merely a thrown together ‘hey here is a teenage superhero story with a downer ending’ it was a story about selfishness, responsibility and appealed via it’s relative normalcy and lack of idealization of the superhero protagonist.

The psychology and thematic idea of his exclusive powers (invisibility+venom blast) is the same…how? How is disappearing and repelling people the same thing? They keep saying that in the podcast as though it’s obvious and it’s really not

Great Power=Great responsibility isn’t Peter’s catch phrase it’s the philosophy underpinning everything he does

‘The young end millennials have been thrown under the bus by society so the optimism is reserved for the young end millenials like Miles and Gwen’ oh but also ‘you need 5-10 years added to each character to have this make sense and also Spide-Ham doesn’t quit fit’…So…the theory doesn’t make sense then does it. Also, what optimism is there for teen millenials in the late 2010s? We are all shit scared Global warming needs to be fixed within the next 10-20 years. The young end millenials will not be in much of a position to do that. Maybe not the high-end millenials either. The power rests in older Gen Xers or even older generations. So this ‘generational’ theory is bullshit. Yeah, Miles as the next generation maybe makes sense but not when you apply real world concepts of who the different generations are. Especially considering that’s made up bullshit anyway.

‘Blah blah blah for most of my life I’ve been uninterested in Spider-Man because I’ve believed him to be WHITE MALE teenaged wish fulfilment.’…*internally groans*…oh boy…this woman is one of those types huh. Frankly I, and I would advocate others too, take a salt shaker with them whenever they hear someone say something like this. But more importantly Spider-Man is seriously NOT what she describes. For starters Peter was a senior in high school when he began and shouldered adult responsibilities when his father died. That’s wish fulfilment? That’s a BURDEN. The reason that spoke to so many people was because he was just different and because his imperfections made him more relatable. The whiteness idea is also bullshit since he was intentionally or otherwise subtextually Jewish and has spoken to countless people of all colours across the generations. He very particularly has a HUGE following among African Americans which was partially what prompted the creation of Miles Morals in the first place! Shit, the showrunner for the 1994 Spider-Man cartoon was black for God’s sake. Many of the head honcho creators for ITSV were people of colour who were clearly MASSIVE Spider-Man fans!

‘As a woman Spider-Man didn’t resonate with me’. Spider-Man is male. And he acts in ways a male would in the context of the situations. But the character as a whole, in his deepest themes and concepts, is a universal character. He does and has spoken to people across race, gender, sex, sexuality, class, culture and generations. Spider-Girl, Mayday Parker, was her father’s daughter and far more similar than different to him. She spoke to male and female readers. Peter Parker himself has had female fans since his inception. There is no end of female fans here on tumblr or in other online spaces that are the proof of this, to say nothing of old letters pages.

Miles feels more like a real kid and fits together better than most other versions of Peter Parker?...how? I don’t like USM the comic but hwo the fuck do you take that, Spec Spidey, the 1994 cartoon and the Raimi movies (that MovieBob adores btw) and say ‘it doesn’t fit together properly like Miles’. Dude, Comic Book Miles Morales is a teenager in New York who goes to a bordering school for scientifically gifted kids and yet is supposed to be an everyman. That fits together well? He risked his life before being motivated to do so which is how most 13 year old woudn’t have acted. Then he feels guilty about Peter dying but his BFF explains it’s not his fault and he accepts this but then goes on to become Spider-Man anyway. And somehow this equates to guilt+responsibility. THAT’s better put together? His character got web-shooters two different ways by the same writer and the guy he was a legacy to was resurrected within like 3 years of Miles’ debut. That’s well put together? This makes more sense and is more believable than a kid who’s Dad dies because he didn’t use his gifts altruistically, so he spends his whole life striving to use them altruistically?

Blah blah blah MovieBob spewing more shit about how Peter is a teenage wish fulfilment power fantasy even though he clearly isn’t from a modern POV and REALLY wasn’t in the early 1960s.

By extension arguing Peter is an adult male’s retroactive teenaged wish fulfilment fantasy of working stuff out is so plainly wrong. Peter Parker in the early 1960s didn’t have everything figured out. The whole world was against him totally unfairly. He needed Aunt May or the Human Torch at times to give him pep talks. His social life was barely existent! You wanna see a middle aged man’s retroactive young wish fulfilment fantasy? Go read Brand New Day, which MovieBob claims was superior to the pre-OMD era. What is the wish fulfilment here? That attractive young women like him? Is that it? That one thing vs. all the horrible shit beating Peter down?

Bob claims there was a lot more Steve Ditko in the early issues of his run compared to Stan Lee because Peter was very angry. First of all Ditko was such a private person claiming he was definitely angry and that the anger was all him is a MASSIVE speculation. Especially considering Stan wrote Spidey as angry plenty after Ditko left. More importantly, Peter wasn’t angry in the early Ditko issues except for maybe issue #8. He had his moments sure, but it wasn’t at all consistent. He wasn’t raging out or smashing shit like he did later in Ditko’s run. He was more anxious and neurotic in those early issues which is comparatively closer to how Stan and Romita handled Peter in their earliest issues together. Peter and the whole world of Spidey got angrier towards the end of Ditko’s run. You know when Stan was letting Steve plot stuff more and more…It’s almost like Bob is full of shit or something

Bob tries to claim by the time ITSV was being written the kinks in Miles’ character had been worked out in the comics. Nah fam. If anything they’d been exacerbated. In reality it was the ITSV writers who took the wonky early Miles character and worked out those kinks themselves, creating an overall superior rendition of the character. A viewpoint I am not alone in.

‘The Prowler has never been a particularly noteworthy villain in the comics’ That’s because he’s not a villain. He was kind of a villain in his debut but he very quickly became an ally to Spidey

The panel then get into a very pretentious discussion about how ITSV preaches you arne’t stapled to your origin, you are not your trauma. That claiming that is pretentious ala Zack Snyder. But like…isn’t that the POINT of super hero origins? That they contextualize everything about the heroes thereafter? Isn’t carrying his trauma with everything they do practically the point of Batman and Spider-Man’s origins; you know the 2 most popular heroes? Uncle Ben’s death IS stapled to Spider-Man because it underlines everything he ever does. Shit it doesn’t even make sense when applied to Miles in ITSV. He does what he does because his Spider-Man died and then so did his uncle. There is even a whole scene in his dorm room where each Spider-Hero relays the grief that shaped their own lives. I’m not saying you need death and tragedy to be Spider-Man. But that’s neither a bad thing nor something that ISN’T applicable to Peter nor ITSV Miles. Aren’t these idiots supposed to be film buffs? How do you screw up such a basic reading like that?

One of the pundits claimed the movie preaches acting heroically in spite of your tragedies not because of them. Again though…that’ not Spider-Man. Peter is a hero specifically because his uncle died. Miles endeavours to become Spider-Man because his Peter died. His Uncle Aaron’s death further fuels him and allows him to make to final leap of faith. Yes, Peter B. continues to be a hero in spite of his failings but it is only his experiences with Miles that make that possible.

‘They don’t need the tragedies to be heroic they are already heroic in their own right. Look, I don’t disagree with that more broadly. Mayday Parker didn’t need tragedy to be a hero. But in terms of the specific characters in this movie? That’s clearly not true:

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This whole ‘in spite of tragedy’ shit is so pre-Marvel DC comics it hurts. Heroes who just innately do the right thing because it is the right thing to do is a dated and archaic invention Spidey and the other Marvel heroes were reacting against.

‘Spider-Man Noir detracted from the film’s message of diversity because he was a brooding WHITE MAN who prowled the night to enact fist based justice!!!!’ Do I even need to say anything to that? First of all literally every hero in the movie enacts fist based justice. Why does Noir operating at night make him worse than Peter B? Why does him being male make that worse than Peni or Gwen? Why does him being white make that worse than Miles or Peni? And as for detracting from the message of diversity, shockingly diversity can be found within the same ethnic or gender group. You know white/male people aren’t a monolith and all that. Plus creatively you want PERSONALITY diversity more than anything else. In this movie in particular you want shorthand conceptual differences too. ‘Spider-Man but an anime mech girl’ ‘Spider-Man but a noir character’. ‘Spider-Man but a cartoon pig’. This is how asinine this disgusting modern day mentality is.

Wow…MovieBob defending Noir from the asinine comment. I’m genuinely surprised. Too bad he doesn’t use the most obvious defence of ‘that is obviously a ridiculous statement to make you moron’

The next topic of discussion was related to Marvel moving away from Gwen as Spider-Man’s dead girlfriend. I spoke a lot about Bob’s ice cold take on that in this post.

He claims they introduced Spider-Gwen because the idea would be taboo and thus would get people talking. HA! Spider-Gwen was done as just a general idea not something to spark controversy. It wouldn’t even BE controversial. Marvel brought back a version of Gwen within 2 years of her death. They brought her back again 15 years after her death. They brought her back again 22 years after her death along with other versions who melted because it was the Clone Saga. During and after all those times they had AUs of Gwen in What If, Age of Apocalypse, Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane and other such stuff. An explicitly AU of Gwen Stacy in 2014 was one of the most aggressively uncontroversial things you could do.

Gwen’s ballet shoes differentiate her from every other Spider-Man ever. I mean yes in terms of being a dancer I suppose but in terms of being dedicated and studious, training hard and earning immense physical control? There have been plenty of versions of Spider-Man pre-2018 who are like that.

The only way you can make Spider-Gwen work going forward is by not tying it to her death in the canon? Boy…too God damn bad her debut and origin is entirely built upon that. Her origin in the comics and in the movies is built upon a role reversal because it is Peter who dies to motivate her. Film audiences would’ve still grasped that role reversal because it was only 4 years ago Emma Stone’s highly popular rendition of the character died. And that was in the last pre-MCU Spider-Man movie to boot!

‘The only Iron Man story anyone cared about was Demon in a Bottle’ Actually they only cared about that story and Armor Wars. But yeah, the MCU version is lesser for neither having his alcoholism nor a crippling heart condition. The mere fact people became complacent about that doesn’t mean it wasn’t reductive.

‘These are fictional characters they need to grow and change with the times to remain popular’ Gwen Stacy sucked shit in the 1960s-1970s and was then killed off and defined by her death. Somehow she still wound up becoming a fan favourite by the 90s and 21st century. Spider-Gwen sucks as a character but not in concept. I never had a problem with the concept. But the idea that she needed to exist to keep Gwen popular is bullshit because Gwen had somehow become immensely popular in spite of being a nothing character. And that even presumes anyone needed to perform maintenance on Gwen to keep her popular. No we didn’t. She was an irrelevant character beyond her death. It’s like saying we need to change Uncle Ben or Bruce’s parents to keep them popular.

Gwen’s affect on Peter Parker was important for awhile but we aren’t that society anymore. It’s not a fucking societal concern! Putting aside how a 2014 movie did Gwen’s death just a few years before ITSV, Gwen’s death is about a universal human experience. Death, grief, moving on. Oh, I see. This halfwit mistakenly believes Gwen is an example of women in the refrigerator.

Gwen died because Peter had this perfect lovely girlfriend and everything was too great for him and they didn’t know how to write beyond that. An oversimplification. Gwen died because they needed to shake things up for sales in general. Because Conway shipped Peter with MJ. And a 20 year old Spidey in 1973 really was too young to be killed off. Oh and you know she was written like shit. Yeah that’s the part no one ever talks about. Gwen is played up as this underserving victim of a character but she sucked shit.

It’s almost the 2020s! So fucking what? People still lose loved ones in the 2020s? I’m not even saying Spider-Gwen should have died in ITSV or revolved around her counterpart dying. I’m saying this dumbass is wrong for bringing it up as though killing Gwen off is dated on principle. But this is the same moron who unironically said ‘I never connected to Spider-Man because he is a teenaged white male wish fulfilment fantasy’. I’m sure she got top marks in her gender studies class

‘sOme PpL nEEd 2 gEt oVa iTTTTTTT’ I genuinely wish this person would wake up mute someday.

‘We could do a whole movie about Spider-Gwen’. I don’t respect where this opinion is coming from but I don’t necesarilly disag- ‘Get Seanen Maguire to write it’…nevermind. This gets even worse when you consider Maguire had only been writing Gwen for literally 3 issues at the time this podcast was released. Of the back of three issues you are declaring this writer qualified to write an entire movie about the character? Not even Jason Latour who created her. I smell someone who just jumped on the bandwagon or worse is blinded by agenda and ideology.

‘Gwen could’ve done with 5 more minutes’ It’s not her movie! It’s Miles’ movie and secondarily Peter B’s movie because he is Miles mentor. It is through their mutual relationship that Miles learns to be Spider-Man and Peter learns to be Spider-Man again.

It never made sense for an 80 year old woman to be raising a 16 year old boy! Aunt May in the 1960s wasn’t in her 80s. She just looked that way because, duh, standards of health were different back then. A 40 year old now looks much younger and in better health than someone who potentially might’ve been born in the 19th century circa 1962! A working class woman no less…With chronic health problems! Even if she was in her mid-late 50s her looking like that was totally believable in context! And her raising Peter was also entirely believable depending upon how old Ben and May were when Richard and Mary were born. It’s not beyond possibility at all that there was 15-20 years separating Ben and his younger brother, meaning if Peter was born when Richard was 25, Ben and May would’ve been in their 40s. Thus by the time Peter was 15 they’d be in their 50s or 60s.

These idiots keep treating Peter from Miles’ universe as a bona fide version of 616 Peter when it’s blindingly obvious he’s supposed to be an idealized rendition of the character. A version intended to be a juxtaposition to the version we all know walking into the movie.

Peter B. Parker having a more traditional version of Aunt May as opposed to a more proactive and involved version has left him with a sense of giving up. Er…no. It’s pretty obvious Peter B. Parker is the Spider-Man we know and love who normally doesn’t give up but one string of failures after another has brought him to his lowest. But he rises back up again. Look Peter is supposed to be a representation of human beings. Human beings need people and need emotional support. When you lose those people and are alone you can go to a very dark place. That’s Peter B’s story. If Aunt May had been more involved but everything else went wrong (including her death) he’d have still wound up in the dark place he went to. Blonde Peter might’ve weathered May’s death better in theory but he had OTHER stuff in his life to keep him afloat. Peter B lost most everything. What horseshit it is to argue if Aunt May was different he’d have not given up.

There was no purpose for Aunt May being as old as she was or on the cusp of death in the original comics. Er…yeah there was. She was that old because it made her more vulnerable and thus accentuated the loss of her husband and the need for Peter to be her support network. It also internally justified why she was so frail and unwell. Old people usually have health problems. Duh! But then Bob admits there is a reason for those decisions. So he is contradicting himself.

Bob presumes Blonde Peter told Aunt May his secret even though there is no evidence in the movie to support that idea.

Kids today aren’t resentful of their grandparents like older generations were, that’s why Aunt May is played differently now. Um…Peter was never resentful of Aunt May in the first place. He sincerely loved her and felt he needed to pay her back for all she’d done for him.

‘Kids today have cool grandparents because 50% of them would have been hippies.’ Hippies aren’t cool. And never were. They were pretentious losers that hid behind causes as an excuse to do drugs and have lots of sex. Over half a century later the world they claimed to fight for and want to build has yet to materialise and in fact is in a lot of ways far worse off than it was before their generation rose to the seats of power. The hippy generation are part of the baby boomer generation that are so thoroughly mocked today. The people in power who’ve fucked up the job and housing market for consequent generations. These idiots literally spouted a dumbass theory earlier on about how first wave millenials have been thrown under the bus. Who do you think did that? The baby boomers, many of whom used to be hippies! And NONE of this demands Aunt May has to be different. I have no problem with her being different in ITSV. But the idea of someone who used to be a hippy being doting? Being a worry wart? Why the Hell is that a dated concept?

These idiots clearly view the world aggressively through an identitarian and group weighted lens as opposed to how the world really is. I.e. 7 billion+ individuals

There was a weird amount of focus upon gangsters in the Spec Spidey cartoon considering it was for kids. Not really, the show was reverential of the original comics. The original comics (which were for children) had lots of gangsters

To the people who bitch and moan about getting another Spider-Man it doesn’t take away from the one you had before. No one was complaining about Miles as another Spider-Man in this movie. People weren’t claiming it ruins the Raimi movies or something. People resent it in the comics because it waters down the brand and makes Spider-Man himself less special when he is an ONGOING character. It’d be one thing maybe if the torch was passed from person to person. But nowadays it’s literally all of them co-existing.

Blah blah bah symbolism of a young black boy fighting a big WHITE business MAN. Blah blah blah this is the type of bad guy Miles would fight in real life blah blah blah…Jesus Christ… these people really just buy that type of Kool-aid in bulk don’t they? As if Miles, were he ‘real’ wouldn’t fight anyone who’s doing bad things. FFS they just got done talking about Tombstone from the Spec cartoon. Tombstone is an African American! And he’s in this fucking movie. He’s not some weird fantastical guy, he’s a regular gangster who happens to be albino. That’s it. Miles fights him in this fucking movie! Miles first major adversary in the comics was the Prowler who was another African American. Miles wouldn’t JUST fight ‘evil white businessMEN’

‘As far as I know about Doc Ock from Superior Spider-Man, which is excellent’ Wow. So, as would be obvious with anyone with a working brain and some prior knowledge of Otto, Superior is garbage. And saying you are basing your assessments of Otto on Superior is like saying you have never known about the character

Doc Ock is in so many Spidey stories as a scientific assistant to other people because the Green Goblin is always either dead or completely untrustworthy. Bob really just said that huh? This is further proof Bob has read precious little Spider-Man material. Doc Ock is NOBODY’s assistant. Even in Secret Wars he had to be threatened into compliance by Doom himself when Ultron was his attack dog. Doc Ock isn’t recruited by other people for his genius, he is the mover and shaker. He recruits other people and is the man in charge. And who the fuck is looking to get the help of Norman Osborn because he’s a scientist? Not to mention Norman is untrustworthy, oh but Otto?????????? The guy who tried to nuke NYC???????? WTF is Bob talking about?

Since we are in the ‘age of heroes’ (whatever THAT means?) it is impossible for Spider-Man to not be mentored by some other hero. Er…yeah it is? This is obviously a defence of MCU Spider-Man and it holds no water. First of all DC and Marvel have had young heroes show up when there are a plethora of heroes around they’ve not had mentors. Second of all it’s entirely possible for Peter to not WANT a mentor and it’d be entirely believable that the other heroes might not see themselves as mentors or might mistrust him.

The Spider-Heroes take their grief and turn it into action. WHOA WHOA WHOA! Didn’t these guys say earlier that the movie preaches the heroes are more than their trauma? That they aren’t stapled to their origins? That they move on from it? What’s this change of tune all of a sudden?

Miles Dad was probably made into a cop to avoid having a difficult discussion about how the police would react to a black super hero or a black Spider-Man. Yeah, or it’s because you know…his Dad worked in law enforcement in the comics so you know…faithfulness. Also the police don’t discriminate against black heroes in the MCU except Luke Cage. Also, also not every fucking cop is racist. Also, also, also how would they know Miles is black his costume covers his whole body!

Miles Dad was super authoritarian. Dude. He didn’t like vigilantes and he followed basic rules like stopping not abusing police sirens. That’s hardly akin to being a jackbooted fascist.

Miles would’ve had a different relationship with authority and the police if his Dad hadn’t been a cop. Er…no not necessarily. First of all being the son of a cop doesn’t mean he’d have not experienced institutionalized racism from the police. Second of all even if he had experienced that he could still believe in justice and taking down obviously evil and dangerous people like Kingpin.

They never touched upon institutional racism from the police in Luke Cage which was for adults. Er, yes they did. The rapper in the later episodes of season 1 (the Bulletproof Love guy) stated he wasn’t going to call the police. The police were stopping and searching black men in their hunt for Cage. Black people wore shirts with holes in them in order to protect Cage and defy the cops. The rap mentioned how nobody was interested in protecting their neighbourhood.

Nobody wants the tell a superhero story about institutional racism within the authorities. Isn’t that literally Luke Cage’s origin? Didn’t Black Panther mention that earlier in the year ITSV was released.

I’m going to disagree that Miles fighting Kingpin was unnecessary because of the cultural connotations we talked about….God…You couldn’t just say ‘the main hero obviously has to defeat the main villain. Duh!’…

Dan Slott is a dang genius! As if you needed more proof these people are unqualified to talk about Spider-Man…

Spider-Verse’s (the comic’s) fan service is what happens when you get Spider-Man fans to do the story vs. ITSV. Nah fam. ITSV is what happens when you get real fans who are talented vs. Spider-Verse is what happens when you get a real fan who fundamentally misunderstands the characters and is a hack

There is no real Peter Parker. Who cares! The real Peter Parker is the original because he is the one everyone else is derivative of and therefore based upon. And fans AND creators and Marvel itself clearly care about that because they sure as fuck didn’t kill him off so Miles could replace him. They killed off the secondary and surplus Ultimate Peter Parker. Treating the original version as the true one doesn’t invalidate any other versions because they can still be great characters unto themselves. But given how disgustingly SJW this whole podcast has been I am unsurprised they go in for this participation trophy form of analysis where everything is equal all the time.

It also doesn’t invalidate the idea of Spider-Man being anyone. Spider-Man CAN be anyone. But not everyone can be Peter Parker. If we are going to say otherwise the praise these jackoffs lauded onto Miles for how his specific identity was explored is invalidated. Peter is Peter. Miles is Miles. They can both be Spider-Heroes worthy of the mantle.

Because Miles is a POC people who don’t look like Peter can believe they can be Spider-Man. I’m not arguing against Miles but seriously, that was the case before Miles existed. The showrunner of Spider-Man 1994 was an African American and he related to Peter Parker in the 1960s. Poc can relate to Spider-Man regardless of skin colour.

The original comic book version of Spider-Man isn’t the true one just because he is the original. Er….yeah. It seriously does precisely BECAUSE he is the version all the other ones are derivative of. Hence he’s from the PRIME universe. Shit the Spider-Verse comic book the movie takes mild inspiration from literally says that. Granted it then contradicts itself but the point still stands. Because he is the original one he IS the true one because without him the others would not exist. He is the canonical one!

The true 616 Spider-Man will never be in any adaptation because there is too much continuity…Yeah…so? How does that make him not the original one in the broad context though when you compare every version?

Continuity is the killer of enjoyment when it comes to movies. No, this podcast is the killer of enjoyment. And btw, maybe ask all the people who went to see Infinity War earlier in the year ITSV was released and ask them if continuity ruined that movie for them. This is such a lazy, myopic attitude.

If continuity is used to exclude people it is bad. Good job nobody was ever saying ITSV shouldn’t exist because Miles isn’t Peter then

Infinity War is a fine movie even if you do not know who everybody is. No it isn’t. Infinity War is wholly inaccessible if you do not know who everyone is because it’s throwing dozens of characters at you with little-no context provided.

Black Panther is better than Infinity War, this proves continuity is bad. No. Black Panther not having to have it’s story wrapped up in everything else in the wider universe was what helped make it better. FFS, Winter Soldier is better than Avengers 2012 and that still relies upon plenty of continuity. Civil War is better than Thor the Dark World and the latter has way less continuity than the former. It’s not about having continuity it’s about how you use it. Black Panther was world building in it’s own corner. It wasn’t plugged in so directly to the wider universe the way Homecoming or FFH was. THAT’s what made it good but that’s not a continuity issue that’s a world building issue.

Continuity is toxic when you use it to claim a long running fantasy series didn’t satisfy you. Uh huh, hey do you wanna ask all the people who hated Game of Thrones’ final season that?

Oh, and one of the pundits, the one who bleeted on about Spidey as a ‘tEEnAgE WHITE mAle wish fUlLfiLmEnt fantasy!’ is a Hollywood actress. Now her views make waaaaaaaaaay too much sense

In conclusion…Sigh…For a podcast called School of Movies I think these guys need to go back to kindergarten.

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schoethe · 5 years ago

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Some sources state Schiller have ignored Christiane at Goethes house. Like he despise her and Goethe because of her. Maybe do you know where is the information from? I don't remeber the sources, but I've read this quite a lot.

pheew, there is no easy answer to that question and i don’t have all the sources at hand rn and no time to do proper research so what i write now might be biased by my personal memory and interpretation but here’s what i remember (edit: ups, novel ahead):

so the thing with Christiane was that

a) she was from a ‘simpler’ background than people would have liked a women who was the woman at Goethe’s side to be

b) during most of the time of their relationship Goethe didn’t marry her - and I say that he didn’t marry her bc I am quite sure that she would have liked to get married to him (earlier) and also would have benefited greatly from being married to him. While Goethe may have had his reasons to not get married it left Christiane in a very difficult position. She was left with no offical standing in society, she couldn’t accompany her partner to events, couldn’t receive (official) guests, couldn’t parttake in activities etc. because officially she didn’t exsist. That doesn’t mean however that people didn’t know about her. They knew very well and they didn’t approve of the relationship in any way. People were scandalized how Goethe could live like that, unmarried with a woman of low education, not from a high society family or, how they put it, how he could share the bed with his housekeeper - an idea repeated even today even though it absolute bs of course. Christiane was not his housekeeper. (Even though she did run the household obviously as any wife would have.) They had a very intense, romantic and sensual relationship and had moved in together very shortly after haven fallen in love head over heels almost at first sight and even though Goethe himself was facing difficulties because of it with his friend and sponsor, the Duke (Herzog) of Weimar, Carl August. If I remember correctly they at first weren’t allowed to live in their later home at the Frauenplan in the center of town but had to live in the house that is today known as Goethe’s Garden House a little outside of town.

And so to Schiller. Schiller’s wife Charlotte (I’m going to call her Lotte from now on for less confusion) was very close friends with Charlotte von Stein, a very important figure in Weimar’s high society and Goethe’s quasi ex-girlfriend who particulary despised Christiane as Goethe had left her and turned to Christiane after his trip to Italy.

I’ve said earlier that people didn’t approve of Christiane and of Goethe’s living with her. That was very mildly put. They hated her. Made fun about her, gossiped, called her names as nice as “a round nothing” or “das Mensch”, which translates roughtly to ‘the’ or ‘that human’ but in German the phrase uses the neuter article instead of the masculine one which usually goes with “Mensch” which makes the term very strong and dehumanizing.

She was socially outlawed, women refrained from visiting Goethe’s house in fear of meeting her and becoming a subject of gossip themselves.And well as I said, Charlotte von Stein as someone who was very important and as someone who particulary didn’t like Christiane was one of the leading figures in that scheme. (One time Christiane made the mistake of sending her a cake for her… birthday? and not enclosing a note but instead have the maid who brought the cake verbally say greetings and also say out loud who the cake was from and as other people were present Charlotte was outraged and mortified as she apparently had been humiliated in front of all her guests)

And Lotte as her friend and also as a women of high morality adopted and/or shared that attitude towards Christiane in many aspects. I wouldn’t hesitate one second to agree that she ‘hated’ or despised Christiane.

But I wouldn’t say the same about Schiller. He probably didn’t speak up or defended her in front of his wife but I also can’t quite imagine that he took part in the mean gossiping about her and there’s also no form of proof indicating that (that I know of). If anything I think he avoided that topic and probably tried to blend out that part of Goethe’s life.

But in the end we also do not know very much about Schiller and Christiane except very few things. Here’s what we know:

- if he saw her at all he saw her very seldomly at Goethe’s house. I don’t know whose choice that was, that is whether it was Goethe’s, Christiane’s or an agreed decision between them both but as I said ealier it would have also been just improper for her to officialy receive guests, this was the 1790s, this was high society, there was a protocol for certain things and the famous poet’s girlfriend greeting his guests just wasn’t a thing and there was probably no exception made with Schiller. however… the main source we have of Schiller not meeting her (when he stayed there for the first time for a couple of days) is a letter to his wife where he states that he has never seen Christiane and I think there’s a possibility that that’s not even true and Schiller only wrote it in order to not worry Lotte but idk

- Goethe mentions Schiller’s wife in like almost every single letter (sending greetings etc.) and Schiller doesn’t do the same with Christiane but then again he probably didn’t even know her very well and, well, greeting your friends wife (besides the fact that Goethe and Lotte had known each other since long before either of them met Schiller) was more a thing you did than greeting his girlfriend

- he does however send her greetings one (1) time in 1802 to congratulate her on the birth of a daughter (who died a couple of days later as did all of Christiane and Goethe’s children after their eldest son, August - it is today supposed that they had mismatching blood groups which is why none of their later children was able to survive more than a few weeks or even days):

Empfehlen sie mich der Kleinen recht freundschaftlich und versichern sie meines besten Anteils ~friendly greetings to the Kleine and assure her of my best regards

I’m not going to overinterpret the word freundschaftlich/friendly (which in this context I’d read as literally friend-ly, as in from a friend, in a friendshipy way etc.) here but he’s callig her ‘Kleine’ (which means the small one but it’s used as a nickname so it doesn’t really translate), and to me that means that Goethe must have referred to her by that name when talking to Schiller about her, which means that he, well talked to Schiller about her and in such an intimate manner that he referred to her by a nickname, so make of that what you may

- there was one time (this is mentioned in a letter from Christiane to Goethe but unfortunately I can’t find those online anymore so here’s a very cloudy memory:) when both Schiller and Christiane were at the annual theatre festival or sth in Lauchstädt and Christiane wrote to Goethe who had stayed in Weimar that she had been… sitting at a table together with Schiller? and they had… a lot of fun? and/or they went on some kind of boat trip and sat (amongst others) in the same boat?? (if anyone has those letters please let me know!!) anyway from how she wrote it, itsounded like Schiller spoke to her, was at ease being in her company etc.

So all things considered I think Schiller’s behaviour to her was if not particularly great also not particularly bad. He surely wasn’t very straightforward about including her or having close contact with her, but then Goethe probably didn’t even introduce her to him properly. To me it seems that he was somehow caught in beetween - between Lotte and her friends and the entire Weimar society and between his friend Goethe and his beloved Christel whom he for some reason just didn’t marry. What he really thought of her, how well he actually knew her? I think we just don’t know. But I think that compared with what Christiane was facing with the rest of Weimar’s society Schiller seems to have been okay with her to some extent and seems to have been almost friendly to or even with her (in comparison!).

So that was a very long answer to a very short but important and also complex question. I hope that at least some things are clearer now?

But anyway, if you care to learn more and something better-informed than this jibberish was about Christiane I strongly, strongly recommend to read Sigrid Damm’s biography on her (and Goethe): Christiane & Goethe!!!

#christiane vulpius #friedrich schiller #Johann Wolfgang von Goethe #post #long post

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