#do you know how bad the hobbits have got me fucked up?

[charlemane]

still cannot stop thinking about the way the crowd ROARED when Sam picked Frodo up to carry him the last length... like. i don't think there's a way for live theater to not be interactive. the energy of the audience will always become a piece of it. by being in that room, you are taking part in that process of creation. and the musical really dug in so deep to the ways that LotR is about stories and storytelling, the way that Sam and Frodo can feel their own story around them but don't get to know the shape of it. don't get to know how it ends. don't get to know whether anyone will ever know the part they played in it. whether anyone will ever live to hear it, even if they should live to tell it.

but we were there. we were all there, all gathered around to hear an old tale we know. we were there when Frodo stumbled, we were there when Sam lifted him up. all the moments of unsung glory, all the moments of no glory at all, when they were tired and cold and alone but we were there. we were there, we were cheering them on when the world was against them. we were losing our goddamn minds for them. we got to be there.

[rems-writing]

When the mountain meets a shy girl

》 Pairing: stripper!San x afab!reader

》 Trope: strangers to lovers

》 Wordcount: 4,062 words

》 Rating: nc-17

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society @othersideoutlawsnetwork @illusionnet

“Oh come on, Y/N! It’s literally one night!”

“Guys, I don’t know -”

“Omg just ignore her and drag her along! We’re going to be late!”

This is how you found yourself on a Friday night. You got off work but instead of going straight home, your lovely coworkers pressured you into going out with them. They claimed that you needed to ‘live a little’ since you can’t ‘be a miserable hobbit’ your entire life. They say that like it’s a bad thing! If you want to stay home, you will stay home. If you want to go out, you will go out on your own free will. Alas, your coworkers didn’t understand. Or they did. They just didn’t care about your boundaries nor your personal preferences, especially the leader of the extroverts. 

Her name was Chelsea. 

You honestly didn’t know how she was able to get hired. She doesn’t know anything about the company you both work at, she slacks off most of the time, and almost always engages in the freshest office gossip. She speaks like she’s texting someone, has an annoying giggle whenever a man hits on her, and never follows the dress code. 

At least she takes responsibility for her fuck-ups and picks up the slack. And never throws you under the bus for anything. 

Other than that, she was dumb as a rock. 

You steered clear of her radar every day. You only talk to her, along with others, about work related things. The only time you don’t is when you give her the usual formal greetings. Other than that, you were never her concern. 

Until today. 

You honestly wished people would leave you alone. Why were they talking about you? You never did anything to them, didn’t snitch on them when they weren’t doing what they were supposed to do, and you were polite when you needed to be. So what’s with the sudden interest in you? 

You were 24, lived alone (aside from the many figurines you owned. They were your children), and only went out if it was required. Other than that, you preferred to stay home. You weren’t interested in dating nor sex (you’ve been there, done that way back in high school) so you tended to stay away from men since they honestly scared you.

A lot. 

If you wanted pleasure, you either took care of it yourself or you just left it alone. You didn't need anyone else to take care of it for you. But now back to the topic at hand. 

You were trying to figure out ways to excuse yourself from this outing. The last place you wanted to go was a damn strip club. You didn’t need half naked to almost fully naked men thrusting and grinding in your face. And you certainly weren’t about to waste your precious hard earned dollar bills on someone else. It’s not that you were selfish or greedy. 

You were simply frugal. 

And according to Chelsea and your coworkers, that’s ‘super hella lame’ of you to do. 

What were they? Newly oriented high school freshmen? 

Alas, you couldn’t think of any excuse to get out of this ‘extraordinary adventure’ you were on. As you neared the entrance of the strip club, everyone had to go through an ID check. Some of them complained, but you didn’t mind. Rules are rules after all. When the bouncer landed on you, you felt intimidated by the sharpness of his wolf eyes. You shakily handed your ID to him and you were ready to be scrutinized by him. You were used to being mocked by bouncers whenever you went to clubs or high-end bars with your coworkers or your family members (i.e. cousins). Surprisingly, nothing came out of the bouncer’s mouth. Instead, he gave you back your ID and offered a warm and comforting smile that reached his eyes until they formed crescents. He then leaned in and whispered in your ear. 

“If you need to find a way out, have the bartender page me. I’m sorry you were dragged out here by those… uh… lovely ladies.”

His deep and husky voice sent a small shiver down your spine and you couldn’t help but be flattered with the offer he gave you. You nodded rapidly and thanked him quietly before following the rest of the girls inside. At least someone understood how you felt, even if they were a complete stranger. When you got inside, the host led you to your table. You wanted to sit at the far end of the booth so you could make your escape (you were not about to turn down the hot bouncer’s offer), but your request fell on deaf ears. Instead, you were smack in the middle of your group with Chelsea seated to your left and someone else on your right. As soon as you were settled in, a waiter approached you. He seemed young and you couldn’t help but find his round cheeks so adorable. 

“Hello. Welcome to Cyberpunk. My name is Jongho. I’ll be taking your orders tonight. What can I get started for you?” 

“IS IT STILL GOLDEN HOUR RIGHT NOW?!”

An overly excited coworker screeched right into Jongho’s ear and you felt yourself cringe for him. Apparently, Golden Hour is what they call happy hour here. Good to know. Jongho laughed awkwardly and nodded before presenting the menu for Golden Hour. That same coworker practically clawed it out of his hands and thanked him shamelessly by running her manicured hand down his chest. You couldn’t stand it and reached over to grab her wrist. 

“Leave the poor guy alone!”

Your angry hiss made your coworker shrink into herself but still had the audacity to roll her eyes at your sense of duty. As payback, she ordered drinks for everyone else but made sure to save the strongest drink for you. And she said this out loud. You sighed and sat back with your arms crossed while Jongho nodded and wrote the order down. Before he left, he looked at you with a grateful expression and mouthed something to you. You were confused at first, but then you looked in the direction of where the young waiter was nodding at and you saw the hot bouncer waving at you with his heavily ringed hand. 

Oh. 

Jongho was giving you the name of the hot bouncer that offered you an escape earlier. 

His name is Mingi. Got it. 

You made a mental note to remember that, along with the name of the bartender you needed to page Mingi for. 

His name is Wooyoung. Got it. 

After Jongho walked away to fulfill your order, you observed your surroundings while your coworkers were talking amongst themselves. It’s a shame that they didn’t talk to you, but you didn’t care. It was better this way. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Drink after drink. Shot after shot. And the cycle repeats. Your coworkers were astonished with the way you could handle your liquor. Even that nasty cocktail that you received made you feel nothing. If anything, you were only about five percent tipsy. As the night progressed, a lot of strippers made their way towards your booth and did what they needed to do. You weren’t interested in any of them. At all. You just wanted this night to be over. While the girls were fawning over the tallest stripper giving them lap dances (his name is Yunho), you saw Chelsea approach you with an evil look in her eyes and a mischievious grin on her overly painted lips. Before you could even question her intentions, she dragged you out of the booth and into a private dance room. The last words from your coworkers left you mortified. 

“YAS, QUEEN! GET THAT DICK, SIS!”

This was not happening. You refused to believe it. Not only did they pay for you to experience a private dance with one of those greasy oiled up men, but they truly believed that you needed this. As Chelsea sat you down on the plush lavender couch, she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at you. Although, you couldn’t tell since her fake lashes were too thick to comprehend anything. 

“We all chipped in for this dance. It could’ve been one of us, but we decided that you needed it the most. So like… don’t be yourself and weird him out, ok sweetie? Great! Have fun! Oh and provide us with juicy details once you’re done!”

She patted your head before exiting the room. You wanted to cry. You never asked for this. For any of this! You just wanted to go home, curl up on the couch, and watch reruns of your favorite k-dramas. But nope! You were here in a dimly lit room, anticipating who would come out. As the strange techno music played, you saw a figure approach the pole. Your eyes widened as you saw who it was. 

The Mountain. 

His seductive smile and the way he curled his fingers around the pole did nothing to quell your anxiety. You sat up straight and darted your eyes around towards every movement he pulled. Sure, you found him extremely fucking attractive, but you had to be honest with yourself. With the way you are and with the way you wanted nothing more than to escape, you wanted to shrink into the couch you were sitting on and just fade into non-existence. He noticed it at first but thought nothing of it. He believed that your shyness was just an act. Soon, you’ll pounce on him and beg for him to take you. That’s how it always was with women like you. However, he was in for a shocking awakening when he slid down the pole and tore away his shirt, leaving his muscular upper body bare. As he crawled towards you, he was getting closer to your legs, which you shut tightly. It didn’t last long before his strong hands grabbed your knees and forced them open. You shut your eyes when his nose touched the side of your right knee, almost nuzzling it in a way. He soon dragged it upwards before stopping just at the hem of your pencil skirt. He then stood up fully and looked down at you. 

This is where the hesitation began. 

He looked down at your rigid form and the way you screwed your eyes shut. His gut told him to stop, but he pushed through. He bent down and whispered huskily in your ear. The action had you open your eyes wide and look straight at him, which was a mistake since he was so close to your face.

“Don’t be shy, kitten. Come on. Touch me.”

Not waiting for your response, he gingerly grabbed your wrist and made sure your palm was flat against his broad chest. He kept eye contact with you as he slowly slid your hand down to his abs. The pace was snail-like and you found yourself shaking. Your anxiety was at an all time high. When you felt your wrist stop at the hem of his jeans, your eyes widened even more. You retracted your hand and cradled it like he had broken it. You muttered so many apologies as you curled into yourself even more. 

Oh… he felt his heart break at the sight. 

A sigh left his lips as he turned around and walked away. You were panicking internally, thinking the worst. What if he had Mingi kick you out? What if he told the owner of this strip club to blacklist you? What if he snitched on you to your friends and sneered at the way you trembled before him? And not in a good way. The anxiety died down a bit when the lights came on and you saw him walk back to you. He knelt before you and had an unreadable expression on his face. He then stuck out his hand and spoke in an authoritative voice. 

“Let me see your ID.”

You immediately thought to yourself that he was simply following protocol. However, it didn’t help that his seemingly angry look unnerved you. You dug into your pocket and fished out your ID before slapping it into his waiting palm. He held it up to his face and narrowed his eyes as he scanned over the details of it. 

‘It doesn’t look fake right?’

‘It’s as real as it can get.’

‘You probably should’ve brought your passport just in case.’

‘Oh shit he’s looking back at you! Fuck!’

As he gave you back your ID, he helped you stand up. The look on his face melted into one of concern and compassion. He gingerly grabbed your hand and rubbed your knuckles with his thumb. 

“Can I hug you? I understand if you don’t want to be touched, but I can tell you need it.”

That’s all it took for you to break down in his arms. He shushed you gently and made sure his hold on you was tight enough to provide a sense of comfort for you. He walked the both of you towards the couch and held onto you until you decided to pull away. You looked up at him and sniffled. As much as he found that action to be utterly cute, he knew it wasn’t the time to address that. He gently wiped away your tears and put some distance in between you two. However, he still had his arms wrapped around you. You didn’t mind it of course. You were just glad someone empathized with you. 

“I’m guessing this is just your personality. Your ID checks out and from what you’re wearing, you definitely are of age.”

“Y-Yeah. I’m sorry if this is how you’re spending your night. I’m s-sure you weren’t expecting someone like me.”

“It’s ok. I think this is a good change of pace. If it helps, we can simply talk. I know you don’t want to be here and I apologize for making you uncomfortable.”

“It’s ok. And yeah… I would love to talk.”

“Great. Let me start by introducing myself. I’m San.”

“Y/N.”

“Pretty name for a pretty girl.”

Your light-hearted giggle made his heart soar and soon, he found himself in a deep conversation with you. You two talked about everything. From the basics down to you willingly explaining how your current personality came to be. And San listened tentatively. After talking some more, you checked the time. 

“Oh shit! My two hours are up! I’m sorry for holding you here longer than I should have.”

“Don’t worry about it. I enjoyed talking with you.”

“Really?”

San nodded and gave you an award winning smile. One that showcased his dimples and was similar to Mingi’s but brighter. After the both of you stood up, he gathered his things and stared at you affectionately. His gaze made you blush and you looked away. He gently grabbed your chin so he could look at you. 

“If you want, there’s a ramen place next door that’s open 24/7. Once this place closes up, we can chat some more. Or… I can take you home, either by calling an uber for you or driving you home myself. After what you told me, I don’t feel comfortable leaving you with your coworkers.”

You swore you fell in love with him.

“Actually, I would love that. I sort of need something to absorb all the alcohol that’s in my body.”

“Great! In the meantime, go speak with Hongjoong. He’s the owner of this place. Explain your situation with him and he’ll let you stay in his office for the time being. I still have work to do.”

After accepting his offer, he walked you towards his boss’s office. A short man came out and he was immediately about to interrogate you when you held your hands up in defense. The last thing he needed was to file a case for harassment. As you explained yourself, his form grew less rigid and he looked towards San, who gave a nod of confirmation, indicating that you were speaking the truth. 

“Oh, darling… here. You can stay in my office. Do whatever you need to do. I’ll have Mingi fetch you once this is over.” 

“Thank you, Mr. Kim.”

“Please. Call me Hongjoong.”

You nodded shyly and Hongjoong patted your head before walking out of his office so you could get comfortable. San looked at you one last time before leaving to continue his job. He didn’t want to leave you there alone, but he knew you needed space to breathe and gather your bearings. After all, you went through a lot. 

TIME SKIP

It had been some time since that horrible outing with your coworkers. Sure, you met some angels and your savior along the way, but the events leading up to that moment left you drained. After that night, you didn’t speak with Chelsea or any of your coworkers. Instead, you worked faster and more diligently than before so you could clock out early and go home immediately. You did not want to interact with any of them whatsoever. As soon as you reached home, you flopped on the couch. 

“Aww. You didn’t want to greet me? That makes me sad.”

“Shut up, San!”

San giggled at your sassy voice as he walked over to you and sat on the couch beside you. He lifted your head so you could lay on his lap. As he ran his fingers through your hair and massaged your scalp, you talked about how your day went. 

Did I mention that you two were roommates now?

Ever since you met San, he’s been a comforting presence in your life. You asked him to move in with you since you felt at ease with him. One thing led to another and the two of you were now a couple. It was awkward at first since you haven’t dated anyone in the longest, but San was patient with you. He took things at your own pace and made it less awkward. He still works at the strip club unfortunately, but he reassures you that he will always come back to you since you have his heart. 

“As I motherfucking should!”

That was always your response to him and he could never get tired of it. As the relationship progresses, you slowly find yourself coming out of your shell. You no longer feel overly shy whenever he walks around shirtless or whispers sensual words in your ear as he flirts with you. Instead, you play along and even tease him sometimes. That’s an effect only San can bring unto you. In addition, he taught you how to be more confident and stand up for yourself. 

His hard work paid off when you told him about how you told your boss about how you felt with your coworkers.

You came back into the office feeling nervous yet invigorated. You needed to put a stop to your coworkers peer pressuring you into going out. You also needed to stop caring about what they might say. As San has stated to you despite being only in tight jeans with dollar bills peeking out from the top, if you liked staying in, then stay in. You knocked on the CEO’s front door and heard her honeyed voice telling you to come in. When you entered, your eyes landed on your CEO boss, who was also your long time best friend. “Hey. What’s up, Y/N?” She smiled that beautiful smile and you felt relieved momentarily. “Um… we need to talk, Ms. Hwasa.” 

“I thought I told you to call me by my real name. After all, we have been friends for seven years.”

“Sorry, Hyejin.”

“It’s ok. Anyways, what did you need to talk about?”

It was now or never. 

Slowly but surely, you vented about everything. From your coworkers to Chelsea all the way to the main topic: disrespecting boundaries. You also explained how you were afraid of what she might say despite vowing to always have your back. Of course you didn’t doubt her words. You were simply afraid of her brushing you off like you were nothing more than another employee. When you finished speaking, Hwasa had her eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. Finally, she spoke. 

“Thank you for telling me this. I honestly didn’t think they would be dumb enough to forget common sense. Set a meeting right now. I think I need to remind these women of how everything works around here.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Hwasa laughed slightly as you saluted before turning around and marching back to your cubicle. A couple of hours later, a lot of employees were in a meeting room, standing nervously as they watched their CEO pace back and forth whilst looking at them with an unreadable expression. You were in the middle of the crowd, pretending to be nervous, but in reality, you were playing it cool. 

“It seems to me that you guys keep forgetting about the one thing I wanted all of you to have.”

Oop - 

“Common courtesy.”

A lot of your coworkers were sweating nervously, including Chelsea. You felt bad for them a little bit since you know Hwasa to be strict. 

“Just because someone doesn’t like the things that you do after work doesn’t mean you have the right to change their dynamics. We are all different here. And yet, we still work well together. So please. The next time you want to take someone away from their comfort bubble, think twice before doing so. Either do nothing about it or do something about it the right way. Ask first! That’s always a requirement. If they say yes, then there you go. If they say no, then no means no! Do we have an understanding?”

Everyone nodded.

“In addition, I am putting a stop to the unnecessary gossip swimming around here. The people you gossip about? They have done nothing to you and they don’t do that to you. So why do it to them in the first place?”

It was a rhetorical question that no one dared to answer. 

“This meeting is adjourned. Get back to work.”

“Yes, Ms, Hwasa!”

Everyone scattered and scurried back to their places. Hwasa looked at you and smiled while you profusely thanked her. 

“You can go home now if you want. I know your boy toy misses you.”

“Girl, shut up!”

“And that’s what happened!”

“I’m so proud of you for standing up for yourself.”

San sat you up and hugged you tightly. You returned the hug happily and remained in his arms for a while before he pulled away. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes as he stood up from the couch. 

“This calls for a celebration. Time to give you that private dance you originally signed up for.”

Oh…

OH!

Before you could protest, San turned on the stereo system and played the track before standing in the middle of the living room to begin his routine.

‘SHIT! WHY THIS SONG?!’

‘THIS SONG IS A BOP THOUGH!’

‘YEAH BUT NOW LOOK AT THE SITUATION YOU’RE IN!’

‘JUST RELAX, BITCH! DAMN!’

You watched as San performed his routine perfectly. It catered to the song and you found yourself drooling as you leaned in to observe him more. San smirked at this as he jumped and did a diving move before crawling towards you. Your legs were open for him and he came in between them, nuzzling his nose into both of your inner thighs before slowly standing up. He gingerly grabbed your hand and took off his shirt before placing your palm on his broad chest. 

DID HE GET BIGGER?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

You watched your hand slowly trail down to his abs until your wrist stopped at the top of his sweats. It was then you noticed how low they hung on his hips. You looked back up to see him lean in closer, his eyes dark with lust and desire. His other hand cupped your cheek and he used his thumb to drag your bottom lip down slowly. 

“Can I have you for tonight, kitten?”

You were not about to pass up on the opportunity to ride that dick into the sunset. With a small ‘yes’ leaving your mouth, he kissed you passionately before grabbing your waist and carrying you to your shared bedroom.

[coveredinsun]

legolas sneaks gimli into elf heaven and it's the most lit thing to happen to elf heaven in an eternity. but at the end of the day gimli still dies (i mean he's a dwarf in elf heaven) (sorry about that but like go figure) so when he does kick the bucket he just goes to regular dwarf heaven. and there he's like, “oh hey thorin oakenshield my dad's boss! how ya been!" and they dap each other up. and thorin is like, "well i'm glad you asked because it's actually pretty fucked up. Well not dwarf heaven this shit is sweet. i mean it's fucked up that my fucking situationship is stuck in hobbit heaven." and gimli is like, "damn sorry to hear that My dad's boss thorin oakenshield. that's terrible." and thorin shrugs like, "it is what it is. the almost 200 years i've been here have been fun at least. what about you bro? how have you been?"

to that gimli is all like, "me? oh well you know. saw some horrors, fought some horrors, defeated some horrors. i actually just saw my husband like 15 minutes ago before i got here." and then thorin is all like "how nice! i'm glad your husband will be here eventually :)" and gimli is like, "yeah, EVENTUALLY, but he’s gonna get an eternity long lecture from mahal and i'll wager 500 million dwarf bucks that he won't waste a SECOND before complaining about it." and thorin is like, “what do you mean eternity long lecture.” so gimli makes a 0.0 face and is like, "ohhhhhh. my bad bro. i didn't realize you probably wouldn't have heard about everything. on account of you being here in dwarf heaven and all. tell you what though, i was all the rage in elf heaven."

then there's a long pause. slow blinking for a solid 30 seconds. and then thorin, with a gleam in his eye, is like, “………………elf heaven you say?"

[live-laugh-legolas]

Hiiiiii omg your head canons for the fellowship are so cuttteeee I love it. Do you think you could write how the members of the fellowship would be around a character who has a dragon companion? I’m sorry I know that is soooo weird but I literally love dragons so much and Lotr so y’know. Preferably a f reader or just Gn. Sorry if that’s weird and no pressure!!!!🫶🫶

What a fun prompt! I’ve literally thought about this before. I’m picturing you show up at Rivendell just casually with your dragon. Totally breathes fire because that’s cool as shit.

How the Fellowship reacts to a dragon companion

Aragorn:

-Has to do a double take

-wtf

-He’s a chill dude, but this feels unhinged

-He will introduce himself with you only once you’re not with your fire friend

-Once you introduce the two he’s back to his chill self and act like this is totally normal

Legolas:

-Fascinated, and immediately introduces himself to you and your dragon

-Elves have a way with nature and animals so I don’t think he would be scared

-Wary, maybe, but he just wants to pet it

-He sees is as a big puppy

-Will tell you a billion dragon facts

Gimli:

-Listen, dwarves have a bad record with dragons

-Doesn’t trust you, and certainly can’t believe the “beast” could be friendly

-Keeps his distance and is definitely a bit cold to you like he is to Legolas, at first

-He eventually warms up to you but still doesn’t like your companion

-The dragon wouldn’t hurt him, but he doesn’t know that, and the dragon totally takes advantage of that and will scare him

-“I don’t like the way it looks at me”

-Big “it don’t bite, yes it do!” energy

Boromir:

-I just feel like he would not care

-He would be casual about it like the cave troll

-Totally sees the advantage of having a literal fucking dragon on their team

-Talks to it like a person

Frodo:

-You thought his eyes were big before? Well guess what? They are literal saucers

-Mostly knows only of Smaug so he doesn’t have a particularly positive view on the species

-But he’s also nothing if not curious

-Asks you so many questions

-This I think applies to all the hobbits except maybe Sam, but it would be so cute if they cuddled up with the dragon at night to keep warm

Sam:

-Big nope

-He’s heard Bilbo’s stories

-His main priority is keeping Frodo safe

-Probably wouldn’t warm up until he saw Frodo petting it with a big smile

-Would ask if it wants a bowl of stew when you all settle for the night

-Worried it might eat him if he doesn’t keep it fed

Merry:

-Guess what?! You now have a new biggest fan! Congrats!

-No fear in this hobbit

-Maybe that’s not a good thing, but he’s a confident boy

-“Hypothetically how would one go about acquiring such a creature?” “You can’t have a dragon Merry” “…I was asking for a friend”

-Will brag about knowing you and that he’s friends with a dragon when they eventually get back to the shire

Pippin:

-?????

-So confused

-He must have smoked too much and is now hallucinating

-Once he gets over that shock, he’s probably the type to watch from afar, but weary to ask to pet it

-“Do you think we could roast marshmallows with its breath?”

-It’s a genuine question. And yes, the answer is yes

-That is if you like your marshmallows burnt and basically disintegrated

Gandalf:

-He probably invited you to the council

-Wary because he knows what dragons are capable of, but trusts you so therefore he trusts your judgment

-He’s got his eagles, you’ve got your dragon, unstoppable duo

*Bonus Elrond:

-“Um…whatcha got there?” “A smoothie”

-Wouldn’t let you in until Gandalf convinced him

-Then he just decides he’s seen so much shit that he shouldn’t even be surprised anymore by anything

I definitely don’t love all of these answers, some feel ooc, so as always I may edit when I get a different idea. It’s like how my mind will be blank when doing an assignment but the second I submit it I have so many better answers

[kitkatopinions]

TW: Sucide, toxic relationship, slavery, abuser and victim

My biggest pet peeve with stans regardless of the fandom they are in is always "you would've like female character if they were a man" No. Just stop.

If you want the biggest example of everyone hating on a male character even if they swap genders is none other than GOT Jeffrey.

That spoiled brat has no irredeemable qualities he's just a spoiled stuck up brat who everyone cheered when he died.

HOWEVER im not saying that there ISNT any misogyny towards female character/villains because no matter what fandom you are in there will be misogyny most towards fandom that has a large male fanbase (example Star Wars, Star Trek, Game of Thrones, Assassin's Creed, etc.)

Having a valid reason to hate a female character/villain is NOT misogyny. I hate Neo because the shows wants us to feel sorry for her because she didn't know what to do after Roman's death but are we forgetting an episode ago she DROVE RUBY TO SUCIDE USING PEOPLE SHE KNOW and then she redeemed herself by killing Cat?

FUCK THAT!

Regardless if Neo was a male anyone who drove someone to sucide will never be liked by me or anyone else.

Here's another one Leonora from Castlevanina is hated because she made Hector a slave and saw him as a pet yet she started to develop feelings for him the more time she spent with him. And many people are disgusted because 1) she enslaved Hector and then develop have feelings and 2) because of the obvious power imbalance/relationship of the abuser and victim.

If a character has a trait that triggers the audience or they don't like them for any actions then they can have a reason why they dislike not. I have many female characters that I hate with valid criticism just how much I hate male characters for that same reason.

Yeah, here's the thing, if I actually thought that anti-rwde posters were honestly concerned about misogyny, I would be very sympathetic.

Every single time a piece of media so much as passes the Bechdol test or has a woman that never wears a bikini, there are a bunch of misogynistic idiots and dudebros who hate it or those women. And in the modern day, only hardcore Trump supporters are out here out and out saying that they hate women and are misogynists and that's why they hate whatever it is they're ranting against. People do very much so use perfectly valid (or not so valid) "real criticisms" because they don't want to say the honest truth, or because they themselves wouldn't recognize their own misogyny. Recognizing that just because someone SAYS they hate a female character because of an action that they did doesn't mean they're not a misogynist is kind of important. The guys who harassed the actress of Rose Tico off of Twitter all hid behind 'valid reasons' for their criticism too.

But here's the thing:

1. It's important to be able to figure out what is and isn't actually a sign of misogyny. There's not a precise rule, but you can do things like see if the thing they hate is an exception or the rule, or see if they're hypocritical about their reasons, or see what kind of language people use. If they come around with "brat" "bitch" "cunt" for female characters, that's a red flag at best!! But yeah, ANY criticism of that kind of thing isn't automatically misogynistic. It's like yeah, a bunch of misogynists hated Taurial in the Hobbit because she's a woman and yes they disguised that by claiming it was for other reasons, but there ARE very valid criticisms and complaints about Taurial and you have to be willing to hear out those things instead if just blanket assigning 'misogyny.' Lots of things from Arcane to something as bad as Twilight has perfectly valid haters that are fine, and then also a bunch of misogynists that are going to pretend or really think they have valid reasons. Somone being unable to tell the two apart probably means that person is too close to the situation and too defensive, but these critics don't want to admit that maybe they're wrong.

2. If this was something like Steven Universe, then the defensiveness would make more sense. If it were a well written slow burn with a cast of characters with well rounded dynamics that the writers put work into and the show was about rebels trying to fight the system for a peaceful life and the show had never sexualized the women and there was hard-fought for groundbreaking queer rep and it was created by a Jewish bisexual non-binary woman, and there were mistakes and valid criticisms of the series, but also a lot of unjustified venom of nothing but bad-faith... Then we'd be having a different conversation. Instead it's a show about badge-carrying law enforcement officers, who fight the evil civil rights group from upsetting the status quo, in a show that has tons of things just 'happen off screen,' with a history of sexualizing some of the main female characters, that only recently confirmed any main character as queer years behind the curve, and that was created by and mostly written for by a bunch of straight cis men most of them having said or done misogynistic things. Anti-rwde posters like to pretend that there's no reason why a great completely non-problematic misunderstood stand-up show like RWBY made with love by the totally not at all a part of RT "CRWBY" should be hated, and therefore it must be because of misogyny, but they aren't living in reality.

3. Most anti-rwde posters actually don't really care about misogyny and they aren't actually basing this on - for lack of a better word - good faith. They don't care about Jaune harem fics or the fanarts of RWBY girls with giant breasts in bikinis, and they don't call out the writers or even RT for their bigotry, and they have quite literally Trump supporters that post anti-rwde stuff, but none of that matters. Instead they spend their time harassing a group of mostly queer women for *checks notes* criticizing a show written by mostly men.

So yeah. I've seen misogyny in rwde posters tbh, and I don't think that "I have valid reasons for disliking them" is always proof that there isn't misogyny at play, but the anti-rwde accusations are nothing, because not only are they blind to the flaws of the show and the writers and are unable to recognize the difference between misogyny and just criticism, but also they're only using these accusations as a screen anyway, because they only ever go after rwde posters with it and are unwilling to call out the blatant misogyny in the rest of the fandom, in the show, or in the writers room. I would take this seriously if I thought this was an actual concern of theirs, but it isn't. They don't actually care about misogyny, they just want their show to be above criticism.

(By the way, I've never seen Game of Thrones or Castlevania so I can't speak to it, and also I like Neo a lot lol. XD Personally for me, villains doing bad things doesn't typically blacklist them for me so long as they're entertaining.)

[randomthefox]

When did your dislike of SatAM, Archie, and IDW comics start to form? I'm just asking out of curiosity

I mean I don't think I ever liked SatAM. I watched episodes as a kid, I even owned a VHS tape. And I vividly remember watching it and being like "who are all these people? Why isn't Tails doing anything? That guy doesn't look anything like Robotnik. None of this looks like the games." And pretty much the same reaction whenever I'd look at an issue of Archie.

Actually I vividly remember having an issue of Archie that took place after the Sonic Adventure 2 storyline, and being VERY confused by it. Sonic came back to earth and everyone thought he was dead for some reason? And he went to Sally who was at his grave and they made out. And then Shadow crash landed into a crater nearby, and when he woke up he immediately punched Sonic in the face for no reason I think (or the other way around?). And then they both had to run off together to deal with something going on, and they were like >=o at each other the whole time.

And again, my response at the time was "what the fuck is even happening? Since when did anyone think Sonic died at the end of SA2? Who the fuck is this chick, shouldn't Sonic be kissing Amy? Why is Shadow somehow alive? Why doesn't any of this look like the games?"

I can't remember if I played the games first or if I saw the cartoon first. I didn't actually have cable for a long time, as a kid. We had basic TV for quite a long time. I vividly remember when we finally got network cable, my entire family danced around in a circle singing "we got cartoon network~!" lol. So I don't remember if I would have had access to the Sonic cartoons before I had a Genesis and played Sonic 2 on it. But I do know regardless of whichever I was exposed to first, video games were my jam and I played Sonic 2 and Sonic 3 CONSTANTLY. I absolutely loved Tails. He is the reason I am the foxeh you see before you. And I remember viscerally despising that Tails was treated as this useless stupid little kid in SatAM. (AoStH was much better, because Tails even got his whole little episode where he got to Home Alone the badniks while protecting a petrified Sonic).

I got a Dreamcast FOR Sonic Adventure 1 and 2. And when Sonic Adventure 2 Battle came for the gamecube I played that game religiously. Just, constantly. I'd replay the story over and over. And around that time I was really into Dragon Ball Z too, and there weren't any good Dragon Ball games besides Budokai which could only do so much for me. So I remember that I would play Sonic Adventure 1 and 2 and just recast all the Sonic characters as Dragon Ball characters in my imagination. Sonic was Goku, Shadow was Vegeta, Knuckles was Piccolo, Amy was Chichi, Tails was Gohan, Chaos was Cell, Eggman was Dr. Gero, Rouge was Android 18. I played those games over and over and over again, I loved them. And every single time I was ever exposed to Archie or Sonic X, my reaction was the same as it had always been: "Who are these people? Why doesn't this look like the games?"

I don't know how my feelings might be different if I hadn't played the Sonic games, but did watch the cartoons/read the comics. Frankly, I doubt the cartoons and comics would have had much interest to me just on their own. They were very drab, had boring colors and a loooooot of dialog, and when it came to Archie it was incredibly bad art back then. Why would I watch SatAM/read Archie when I could watch more Dragon Ball Z and Pokemon and Sailor Moon/read what was being released in monthly Shonen Jump? Even if I hadn't been a Gamer (tm) I was also too much of a weeb. Around that time I had also become a pretty voracious reader thanks to Harry Potter too, so I had branched out into the Artemis Fowl books and The Hobbit. Sorry to be a dick, but... I was consuming a LOT of really high quality media as a kid, fucking SatAM/Archie didn't have a CHANCE x3 I would have thought that shit was boring and stupid no matter what. And the fact I loved the Sonic video games so deeply only sealed the deal - that shit WASN'T the Sonic I knew and loved, so it was worthless to me.

I was predisposed to look unfavorably on IDW Sonic from the moment it started, but I DID give it a chance. I read the first four issues when they were being released on that weekly basis launch rush. And I was NOT impressed. It was exactly what I expected it to be. And all I could say was "who are these people? and why doesn't it look like the video games?" Nothing had changed. After issue #7 I fucking dropped it, I think seeing that fight between Sonic and Shadow really angered me and I didn't even bother looking at the comic again until well after the Metal Virus arc had been resolved. I only started reading the comic again within the last couple years for the sake of making my longform critical riffs on it.

I don't think I'd have EVER liked these fucking comics or shows. But it was my deep lifelong love for the video games that caused me to start HATING them. My hate towards SatAM/Archie/IDW is equal to my love for the video games. And god damn do I love the video games, always have. And it is because of my love for the video games that whenever I see a new piece of Sonic media that is not the video games, beit Sonic Prime or IDW or the movies, or any of the spin offs of yore, my question will always be "who are these people? And why doesn't it look like the video games?"

[ailendolin]

Live Reaction to TRoP 2x01

Spoilers for 2x01 under the cut

the way I shouted, "Go Adar!" at my screen when he flipped the crown over

Sauron in his Caesar era

Sauron exploding and turning everything into ice was so cool

I love Adar so much. There has always been something so inherently tragic to the Orcs because of the corrupted / tortured elves angle and I love that we get to see that in the show

lol Sauron noping out of Forodwaith as black blood / goo

oh no, cute rat. I just know something bad is going to happen to it

yep, there it goes. Fuck you, Sauron. That rat did nothing to you

and neither did the centipede

Sauron eating himself one animal at a time out of that cavern

that black gooey body of his is giving me Studio Ghibli vibes

him sliding down that slope is so funny. He's like a polar bear coming out of hibernation. One very ugly polar bear

that poor woman. But at least the horse got away

hello Halbrand! Long time no see. He must be so happy to finally be able to walk again after crawling around Middle-Earth for Eru knows how long

the fish monster is back, yay

aw and Sauron's having nightmares. Poor baby

"choosing to be good" didn't last that long, did it?

ELROND! There he is! My sweet summer child, beating Galadriel in the race to Lindon. I'm so proud

Galadriel, sweetie, I like you but for Eru's sake, tell someone that Halbrand is Sauron. Please.

Ah, she does. Thank you. But fair form? Really? Have you seen Halbrand? He's a sopping bit of rag (to quote Mary from Ghosts)

"Gaaaaah!" - Gil-galad, I love you. That reaction was so relatable

"No, Galadriel, you were blind." Lol

Not Galadriel talking to Elrond about failure. My boy did everything he could while she was hanging out with Sauron

I can actually see both Elrond and Gil-galad's points in the ring discussion but as a cautious person myself I'm taking Elrond's side here

love the moment when Gil-galad steps forward and places himself in front of Galadriel - a visual reminder that it's now him and Galadriel vs Elrond

I knew Elrond was going to jump but damn, that scene is still painful to watch. He's just trying to do what's right and is now completely alone in the world

ah, Sauron's back to fuck things up for Adar. Of course he is

Nori and the Stranger <3

haha love Nori being the little devil on the Stranger's shoulder and having him wrapped around her little finger

love Nori's glee when her plan works. Nothing makes a hobbit / harfoot happier than food

aw Nori, we miss Poppy too

oh the chihuahua warg is back as well. Maybe it can be Sauron's new friend now that Galadriel has spurned him

I was joking but yay, Sauron has a pet now. His break up is going well

MITHLOND! AAAAAAH!

And Elrond is so not okay but I am very distracted by that flash of collarbone and I am not even sorry

I'm glad Gil-galad is remembering to warn Celebrimbor

aw that little smile on Elrond's face when Cirdan calls Celebrimbor remarkable

and oh, that vulnerable look at, "You do your father proud." I can't

and I can't believe Elrond's the only one considering all possibilities here - that the rings might not be corrupted, yes, but perhaps Galadriel is (also Halbrand touched at least the Mithril - who's to say he didn't do anything to it when he did?)

POPPY! Poppy is back! Aaaah I'm so happy!

oh my heart, the music of the walking song in the background

noooo not Sauron saying he's the friend of the elves and implying Sauron's with them. This is going to lead Adar to attacking Eregion, is it not?

oooooh clever, Sauron. Very clever. "I vow to serve the lord of Mordor."

lol that shit-eating grin on his face when his pet warg wreaks havoc

oh Gil-galad's song. My heart. I can't. This is so beautiful

oh fuck I'm having a Figwit moment. Who is that pretty elf whose shirt is conveniently open below the collar? Because I am looking respectfully and am not okay

Cirdan to the rescue and ouch, Elrond's look of betrayal. The step he takes back in fear

The TRoP Elven rings are still ugly but if I had to choose one, I'd still take Vilya. Always have, always will

I'm so sad Celebrimbor isn't there to see the tree healing

and that Elrond cannot even enjoy the moment because he knows the danger is still there and cannot ignore that

"Do we grant him entry?" Do you? Will you? Has Gil-galad's warning arrived or has it not? I'm off to episode 2 now.

[precious-little-scoundrel]

https://www.tumblr.com/precious-little-scoundrel/760308589614301184/for-all-u-girlies-who-do-like-maureen-tell-me-how?source=share

OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!

I adore complicated characters. While we have so many straightforward heroes (so many of whom I love) people who gravely screw up and then scrap for growth is equally as needed for a species that often screws up. For instance Boromir in LOTR falling to the temptation of the ring only to rise up and earn redemption by fighting for the helpless hobbits and dying for them. I massively love imperfect characters and as a feminist my most common critisism of female lead movies is that they are not often allowed to be messy, but men so often are, and we root for them all the same.

Maureen was sassy in TWC so I felt drawn to her character right away. “To bitches who bite back.” Maureen toasted. This line is what got me sold on these girls and was so iconic. Raped and humiliated and these two officers grinned at eachother and promised this to one another. They wouldn't go quietly.

But although her bedside manner is rough, (she makes a couple jokes to ida that could be interperted as mean if you didn't get the vibe they were permitted by and almost amused her superior officer) she is also supportive when she thinks Ida might be blaming herself

From Rifle Broads:

“That Sergeant -she wasn’t your fault. The nurse either.”

“I know that Lieutenant.”

“I know you know,” Maureen muttured, “but some stuff bears repeating. Places like these, we’re liable to lose our bearings without a little repetition.”

was worried about her bleeding and checked on her:

“-you’re bleeding a lot, Ida. Couldn’t help but notice.”

and also did this in Showers: “I think your head might need stitches.” Maureen said in lieu of a response, puffy sausage fingers running gently along Ida’s throbbing and freshly washed scalp. “You’ve got a big gash here. It’s still bleeding.”

So despite being rough around the edges, she is demonstrably, caring and supportive to Ida and has a steely comraderie with Smith as well.

Then we get the sad irony of this line from Rife Broads “Your precious Red Cross won’t come for you here.” That likely verdict seemed to bring the woman satisfaction, and Maureen wondered how many months, weeks, hours of this grueling place it would take before she too took savage satisfaction in another’s misfortune. How long before all better impulse to be glad for others was stamped out and all that was left was crowing self preservation.

And it didn't take that long for her to have that conversation with Ida, where she lashed out. And then put the rest of them at risk by losing it.

So good hearted, but messy and prideful and trying so painfully to grow.

The rest Marina has hinted in at asks about predatory upbringing leading to her worst behaviors and how she is fighting tooth and claw to make herself something she can admire when so many women were just decorations or disregarded as mentally ill or turned into smarmy, hateful backbiting people, is really something that inspired me when I was a little girl with so many people telling me how to be a woman and none of it fit with what I expected from myself deep down.

That's the first level of my love for her. I don't excuse the bad behaviors we've seen and may seen, but I fucking love her for the fight to improve. And I'm sorry for the essay but I've got a few more if you have the patience. And I love you for wanting to see why someone might be invested in here. LET ME KISS YOU

I have the happiest little aneurisms any time my work gets weeded through and quoted back to me -bonus points for proper context. Legit floaty feeling right now at the way you caught her own miserable predictions, hehe.

[katurdayss]

Alright Rings of Power Ep2 live-blogging, LETS GO! (under the cut again to avoid spoilers)

Okay, episode 2 in the books. Gotta say, again I really think this show would benefit from longer seasons. This episode feels like nothing happened, because I know there’s only 8 episodes but a lot actually happened. Just not enough to move the story far enough forward to make the 8 episodes seem balanced.

Also, I remembered that Lee Pace said he had ‘elf lessons’ to learn how to move like an elf for the Hobbit movies. Did these guys get the same lessons? Even Orland Bloom mentioned trying to be more cat like in his mannerisms in the LOTR movies. Here they just feel….normal. IDK man, the elves are hit or miss for me.

The dwarves though, best thing this show is doing. Hands down. Give me more.

Shit dude another recap? Trust in the intelligence of your audience please.

God I love the expansion of dwarven culture. Also love Disa and Durin.

What you think, 3.0?

And darkness falls.

I still really don’t like the opening credits. I know it’s supposed to represent the world being sung into being but

ELVES HAVE SPIES?!

Also how the fuck do these Elves know what Sauron looks like? Like did Gil-Galad get a most wanted poster drawn up or something?

Dude I’d say read the room but yay did and don’t want to respect boundaries anyway. Basic dark lord behavior.

Well they dead. Do carrier pigeons not exist in this word? Shit man just send a pigeon, half the time half the risk.

Are they called halflings at this point? It’s alway been Harfoots up until now. Also ten bucks says they got leprosy.

oh fuck.

Father and son. Apple and tree.

Fucking love Disa. My queen.

Dejected Elrond looking like a kicked puppy, damn.

I do like the idea of song being thread throughout.

FAMILY TRAUMA.

Why the fuck did he shave his beard? He’s one of the only elves to have one canonically, let him have one.

Fear is the mind killer. There is nothing to fear but fear itself

Yes throw weapons at the people you want to take alive. Brilliant idea.

The damn leaf umbrella thing didn’t even keep Celebrimbor dry. City of smiths and you can’t even invent a working umbrella?

Doesn’t wine go bad at some point? Like the first age was a thousand years ago at least at this point. Shits gotta be rancid.

Yeah cuz this wouldn’t even be shady if we didn’t know he was Sauron. Celebrimbor must of made himself some red glasses cuz all he’s seeing are flags.

Oh hell no! This is the point in the scary movie where only the stupid people go in the house.

Yeah bullshit would the Valar be so fucking ostentatious. To quote S.W.A.T ‘real G’s move in silence.’

[lindirs-gaze]

20 questions for fic writers

@thatbluelight thank you for tagging me!! here's to another year of writing and girlbossing etc

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

19. but 26 on ffnet :|

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

496,029

3. what fandoms do you write for?

so right now it's danganronpa (i KNOW and i DON'T wanna hear it) but the majority of my works are for the hobbit and lotr

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The New World, Taking Back Time, Archery Lessons, The Fallen Oak, A Distraction. kind of surprising to find oneshots in there but ig it's what people like

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

only if i have something to say, i don't really like replying just to say thank you. idk it feels like i'm trying to boost my comment count :| not that i judge people who do do that i just don't

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably The Fallen Oak? the ending is supposed to be somewhat optimistic but it is about grief and letting go so...yeah

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

maybe Home and Heart? that was just a two-shot but the whole thing was basically straight fluff so the ending was very happy. how the hell would you write boffins angst anyways. don't answer that

8. do you get hate on any fics?

christ i've gotten way too many transphobic comments on Playing the Hero. i got this one really spiteful comment and peeked at their profile and it was someone who had written a ton of fics themselves. like if you're a loser with an empty profile and you leave hateful comments i kind of get it but if you're also a writer like...why would you do that...

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes. vanilla. next question

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i write a lot of fusion fics but i guess the closest thing i've gotten to a crossover was Embers. Thorin enters the world of The Witcher to train for fighting dragons, etc etc. very self indulgent, boy playing with action figures premise but people seemed to enjoy it

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i actually still have the screenshots, i stumbled across this one hobbit fic way back when that was this weird frankenstein piece of cobbled together bits stolen from a bunch of different authors. i was just casually reading it and then i was like "what the fuck this is so similar to the first chapter of Feangren..." anyway the author got a lot of hate and deleted the story

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

naur

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

naur

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

ugh i mean i don't think anything will ever hit like bagginshield. i know i don't write for it anymore but it still feels like home a little

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

stop there are so many and i'm so embarrassed. if i had the motivation i would rework the plot for Children of the Apocalypse and try to finish it. i feel bad because it is a sequel and at one point i was really pumped to write it but just. the moment has passed

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i do pretty well with like a sprinkling of humor. i can't do straight up crackfics anymore. maybe plot too?

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

probably finishing fics i've been getting better but sometimes i struggle to write long chapters. like i have to stretch to hit 3k.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i feel like it only works if you know the language or if you just use short phrases

19. first fandom you wrote for?

legend of zelda. in my composition notebook in third grade lmao

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

it's hard to choose but i have a soft spot for Where Heroes Lie. very self indulgent but it has such a fun mix of action, humor, angst, shlock. feat. my only OC that has healthy parental relationships.

this was actually so fun omg. tagging @nejires-hado @chrononautintraining and i'm definitely forgetting people but if you want to do this just say i tagged you

[possibly-in-wonderland]

Boromir and his chaotic hobbit wife #2

(still thinking of a name for her, im considering either magnolia or myrtle...anyway...here's more! once again, this features other members of the fellowship)

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Don't ask me what I'm talking about. I don't know, okay? I'm just the vessel. The message has been gifted. I've moved on.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Okay, truth or dare? Boromir: Truth Hobbitess: How many hours have you slept this week? Boromir: Boromir: ...Dare Hobbitess: Go to bed. Boromir: I don't like this game.

~~~~~

Boromir: This is such a bad idea. Hobbitess: Then why are you coming along? Boromir: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I prevented a murder today. Boromir: Really? How'd you do that? Hobbitess: self control.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I am an expert at identifying birds. Boromir: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? Hobbitess: Yeah, they're all birds.

(honestly that one could go either way lmfao)

~~~~~

Boromir: Is something burning? Hobbitess: Just my love for you. Boromir: love, the toaster is on fire.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Change is inedible. Boromir: Don't you mean inevitable? Hobbitess, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

~~~~~

Boromir: You're giving me a sticker? Hobbitess: Not just a sticker.That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me- wow!” Boromir: I'm not a preschooler. Hobbitess: Fine, I'll take it back Boromir: I earned this, back off!

~~~~~

Boromir: Dumbest scar stories, go! Hobbitess: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Merry: I dropped a pan on my leg once and burned it. Pippin: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Sam: I was taking a pot of noodles off of the stove and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Frodo: Frodo: I have emotional scars.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Rules are made to be broken. Boromir: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Merry: Uh, piñatas. Pippin: Glow sticks. Sam: Karate boards. Frodo: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Hobbitess: Rules. Boromir:

(*grumbles in italian about spaghetti*)

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Bye Boromir! Bye Gandalf! Bye Gimli! Bye Aragorn! Bye Boromir! Pippin: You said ‘bye Boromir’ twice. Hobbitess: I like Boromir.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Pippin, can I talk to you for a second? Pippin: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Boromir are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Hobbitess: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

~~~~~

(modern au)

Boromir: Hobbitess and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Aragorn: *Sighing* What did Hobbitess do? Boromir: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... Hobbitess: Who wants a steering wheel?

~~~~~

Hobbitess, after Boromir's death: ive come to a point in my life where i need a stronger word than "fuck"

~~~~~

fair warning, these next few will probably be spicy

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Well, Boromir and I finally did it! The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.* Hobbitess: That's right... We kissed!

~~~~~

Boromir: I feel like doing something stupid. Hobbitess: I’m stupid, do me.

~~~~~

Boromir: What are you in the mood for? Hobbitess: World domination. Boromir: That's a bit ambitious. Hobbitess: You are my world. Boromir: Aww... Hobbitess: Boromir: Hobbitess: Boromir: OH.

~~~~~

Boromir: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things. Hobbitess: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I like your new pants! Boromir: Thanks, they were 50% off! Hobbitess: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks* Boromir: The store can’t just give away clothes for free. Hobbitess: Thats’s… not what I meant. Boromir: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Hobbitess.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? Boromir: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

~~~~~

Hobbitess: It'll be fun. Hobbitess: We'll make a day of it. Hobbitess: Come on you punk bitch. Boromir: I can't believe I have to say this. Boromir: I don't have time to get tested for sti's with you tomorrow.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration* Boromir: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table? Hobbitess: I— Hobbitess: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

~~~~~

Boromir: Wow, Hobbitess, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Hobbitess: We literally slept together yesterday. Boromir: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

~~~~~

alright, back to non-spicy stuff

~~~~~

Hobbitess: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Boromir: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Hobbitess: I said within reason, Boromir. How about I murder that guy? Boromir: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Hobbitess: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I got us matching friendship bracelets, and you say I don't care about our relationship. Boromir: These are handcuffs. Hobbitess: Yeah, 'cause we're partners in crime!

~~~~~

Boromir: You have to apologize to them Hobbitess. Hobbitess: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

~~~~~

Pippin: Where did you get that tomato soup? Hobbitess: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

~~~~~

Pippin: My head hurts. Gandalf: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

~~~~~

Gimli: Did you ever have like a pet run away and find it or anything? Hobbitess: I had a lizard that I burnt.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: *Hugs Boromir from behind* Hobbitess: *Tucks Boromir's hair behind his ear* Hobbitess, whispering: Eat all the frosted animal crackers again and they'll never find your body.

~~~~~

Boromir: This is a bad idea. Hobbitess: Then why are you coming along? Boromir: Someone has to get your injured ass home.

~~~~~

Boromir to Hobbitess: Turn that frown upside-down! *a little while later* Boromir: What are you doing? Hobbitess, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

~~~~~

[weaselbeaselpants]

How and why Lily is a bad fan and an even worse critic

I want to get this rant thing over and done with as it's not about Lily Orchard being an actual depolorable person, just more rants about her bad takes and bad criticisms;

In case you didn't know, Poppy and Zena of TransGirlTherapy have interviewed Lily's sibling Courtney and a few other victims; I saw someone in their chat for the stream of it try and post about Lily's infamous writing tips and I just really REALLY want to put a big divider up right now between mine and other people's comparatively lowstakes beef w her and these very serious allegations. I'd be horrified by them even if they were of a creator I loved; these are not funny and ranting ontop of Lily's rants should be a few steps down from the really important stuff that needs to be addressed w her. So with all that being said:

I think her outdated "SU is Garbage and here’s Why" video is a great encapsulation of everything wrong with Lily Orchard’s critical theory, attitude, and brand. 

The whole video lacks a real thesis statement for an essaybreakdown. It feels really just like a woman having a giant fan rant at a show she used to like but now doesn’t-- because, that is what it is. BUT, that isn’t easy to listen to. Lefttuber or not, other essayist/watchalongs/media analysis-channels who talk about a thing for five hours will at least try and make their feelings actually collected. Hbomberguy’s Sherlock vid, YMS’s Kimbaspiracy debacle, Lindsay Ellis’ Hobbit three parter; all these vids are glorified fan rants extended to hours long and flowered with essay reasoning and research. They work because they're self-aware that they're taking the thing they are looking at too seriously but are committing anyway and preferably having some kind of fun or skill doing so, which is why I love to watch these kinds of videos. Lily Orchard’s thoughts all feel way too sporadic and focused on being spicy rather than coming together, and that hurts her point because it makes even her most serious call out against SU feel petty. 

She gets stuff wrong. Concrete was designed by black artist Lamar Abrams, not Rebecca Sugar who is white. Ftr I’m not pointing that out as some kind of “got you/can’t complain/Sugar never did anything wrong”-clap back; It’s just a fact. AND a missed oppertunity on Lily's part bcuz she could have pointed out how, even if Concrete wasn’t designed by Sugar, it was her in control of the artbook+ Rebecca’s drawn questionable depictions of black people before w she herself is not black and doesn’t get a ‘my friend is-’ clearance just because, and finally just the fact that +the white SU fandom dismissing this problem because they don’t want to be critical about their show.

That Lily doesn’t go into this counter-counter argument whatsoever tells me Lily’s true intentions: and that’s not to point out potential racism in the show, but to dunk on Sugar even more. Lily’s entire point about Concrete, as well as her handling of the poorly handled subjects in the show like the Human Zoo, which other critics, fans and critical fans have done a much better job at breaking down, all of it feels less like a beatdown of how problematic something is but her trying to spin Sugar into the worst fucking person because she wants to hate her. Nowhere is that more clear than in her now infamous ending shade abt Sugar being a fascist.

No, Lily did not literally call Sugar an actual Nazi. Her exact words on screen were a joking “do I think she is one, nah; would I think she is one w/o context? Yeah”.

In an alt timeline I wouldn’t think anything of this take. I get that Lily was trying to hyperbolic and relishing in her self aware pettiness -kinda like how Hbomber is with his over-the-top hatred of Steven Moffat- The issue is we don’t live in an alt timeline. Lily didn’t see how people were taking her too seriously and/or acting like Sugar was a nezi on her behalf +care that her edgy joke at the end of her rant could do some real damage, or even care that it just didn’t look good on her. She didn’t reupload the vid with a disclaimer tacked on, she didn’t tack on a pinned comment; she didn't write down a longer video disc to explain herself.

Instead she threw everyone who might have gotten perturbed by this comment under the bus, said it was all our own faults, and made it very clear she was not going to apologize for it.

Do u dislike ppl treating Sugar like she’s a Nazi and want to discourage that behavior, even in small ways? Fuck you. You’re a stan cuz Lily said so.

Are you Jewish and maybe think implying those exact words are uncalled for? Eat shit! Lily knows better than you and can talk about your life and issues better than you can because other gentiles who aren’t her have failed to do so….which means she’s actually speaking truth????

Lily Orchard could never eat a slice of humble pie and admit that she made a mistake because the only people who’ve ever criticized her and gotten real attention for it are part of the problem (i.e. 4chan, ED). Vaush type commentary bros who keep fucking misgendering her and taking more issue w her leftism that her authoritarianism.

'If obviously she has nothing to apologize for and she is totally over the accusations or her making accusations…which is why she keeps alluding to SU being fascist as a “joke”. The 'joke is on Sugar and all the people who could possibly be offended by Lily’s coining of what’s fascist so…it’s not really a self aware joke at all. She’s still going “harr harr, it’s YOUR fault that you read my comment that way and also who cares it’s not serious. RSugar is tumblr famous which means she’s a millionaire and can’t face harassment.” Tl;dr : Lily got flaq for going too far with a point and rather than just apologizing like a grown up, doubled down.

The reason Natalie (who doesn’t even cover media why is Lily so invested in Contrapoints???wv) and Lindsay will always be better yts than Lily is because they at least try to take some ownership of what they say. Does that always excuse them? No. Are they maybe still a little too apologetic of those on their side? Maybe. But all that is leagues above what Lily doesn't even attempt to do.

Fandoms, people, creators, ships and characters are punching bags to Lily Orchard. She can’t just dislike Rebecca Sugar because for the valid reasons ppl have w Sugar, which there are a LOT of- Lily has to make Sugar, and anyone who doesn’t find her joke at Sugar’s expense, into the worst possible thing. 

Lily can not make a joke or a real criticism to save her life. She is only venom and she has to double down on her points until they have no meaning. Lily Orchard’s activism and analysis aren’t about the things she says she’s fighting against; they’re about her and how everyone who dislikes her is the same kind of awful person and deserving of scorn for disagreeing with her. Lily’s the kind of person who abuses selfcare that good people get from watching Monica Lewinski’s Tedtalk, and basically came out the other end with an “I’m right and shouldn’t apologize for anything EVER”.

[absolutedisaster69]

So I watched all three hobbit movies this weekend and I feel like I'm about to commit blasphemy but

Why the fuck does anybody like Thorin? He's such an asshole. We don't see more than like 5 total minutes of bonding between him and anyone else during the entire trilogy. His character growth is cancerous. Like for real I would rather he just stayed slightly grumpy but at least motivated, rather than what happened to him. They tried to redeem him by showing him overcoming the dragon sickness, but to me it just felt like he got scared of the hallucination and had a moment of clarity. I don't believe for a moment that if he'd lived, he'd not have gone right back into that hoard.

How do people ship him with Bilbo, either? Thorin barely seems to like him until he's literally become INSANE. So like... ya know. I don't see it. At all. I see Bilbo having more chemistry with that dwarf with the hat, you know. At least he was NICE to him for more than 3 minutes.

ANYWAY the movies themselves had so many plot holes and loose ends that I sincerely struggled to enjoy it because I kept wondering when the thing would get resolved and it just never did. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ARKENSTONE?!?! WASNT THAT REALLY IMPORTANT?? WHERE DID THOSE BIG OLD WORMS GO? DID THE PEOPLE OF LAKE TOWN END UP STARVING TO DEATH OR WHAT?

Also, they did a bad job at pacing the battles, and it absolutely removed all the tension. Bad movies, 3/10 for the whole trilogy. The songs were good tho, and Bilbo was done very well.

[thephantomcasebook]

i read a theory that emma d arcy is right now in spain because she will join rhaenys at rooks rest fight

i am seriously so pissed if thats true

like why are house of dragon writers so biased towards black team????!!! Why do u want green team to be one dimensional villains whereas black team are just one dimensional good people, heroes?

In the books, there was a good and bad side to characters. I loved how rhaenyra and aegon were balanced out in the book. And now the show makes everything about gay tension between alicent and rhaenyra. When there is so much more depth to be explored within these great character stories ;((

This might not seem like an answer to your question.

But it is on a fundamental level.

And this is important.

When you are a showrunner, especially a showrunner of a large franchise genre show, you have to give the air of confidence that you know what you are doing. Because, if you don't, than the studio will note you to death, because, they don't trust you to do the job. Especially if they're shelling out a shit ton of money and riding a lot of the future of their company on your success.

Ryan Condal, while a pretty good writer, that guy ... his inability to get production off the ground and missing several deadlines to do so, is why Rhaenyra is now breaking canon by fighting in battles. Cause, I guarantee you, that was a studio note by some fuck head executive who doesn't understand why they're spending all this money for "Strong Female Character" to sit around and do nothing while "Older Strong Female Character" get's her fucking ass handed to her and gets a good chunk of the "Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity" army destroyed by three White Men.

Any other showrunner would be able to tell the studio executives why Rhaenyra isn't at the battle, why she won't be fighting, and why the story is playing out as it is. But, because, Condal couldn't even finish scripts on time and produce coherent story arcs from the disastrously fucked up 1x08 - 1X10. The studio had to step in and basically hold the budget hostage till their demands are met while their people got the show off the ground.

Example:

There is a very, very, reliable source that claims that Sara Hess and another female writer were given a very pivotal episode to write in Season 2. They did four - FOUR! - Drafts of this script and it was getting progressively and progressively worse the more they worked on it. Eventually, in the 11th hour, GRRM himself, came in, took it from them, and quickly rewrote the episode personally - almost from scratch - and turned in just at the studio deadline.

This is what happens when you have chaos in pre-production. If the Studio has to come in and fix things personally, then they take your show from you and run it from a corporate board room.

This exact thing happened to "The Hobbit" movies. Peter Jackson was only a Executive Producer on the films. Guillermo Del Toro was supposed to be the director. However, because, of pre-production chaos and Del Toro leaving. Jackson had to come in and direct a production that was completely studio controlled at that point. Thus, we get Elf/Dwarf love triangles, gross out humor, and a trilogy of movies rather than two.

Sum it for me Bobby B!

[borom1r]

Tolkien Tag Game

I was tagged by @nihilizzzm !! tyyyyyy!!!!

How old were you when you read/watched LOTR for the first time? lmao oh man there’s lore here. so when I was like 8 at the end of 3rd grade (skipped a grade so I was a Baby) I finished all my work early and got to just read in class, and I decided “you know what sounds like a bit of fun end of year reading? The Hobbit!” — I was. Wrong. I saw the movies sometime in middle school but didn’t pick up the books until probably sophomore year of high school?? literally just bc of that bad experience w/ the Hobbit lmao. (having finally read the Hobbit, I am now neutral towards the book)

Favourite lotr character? *gestures wildly at my url* it’s Boromir. used to undeniably be Merry and Pippin but now I have matured and it is. just.

no coherent thoughts shaking him around like a squeaky toy

Books or films? seconding the stance of both. They both have different qualities + are incredibly moving pieces of art!! I absolutely think it’s worth experiencing both anyways + am a firm believer in actually reading the books if you’ve only ever seen the movies, but like.. a lot of the things ppl have problems with abt the movies I don’t really care about?? they’re movies. they gave Faramir an arc that *mirrors Boromir’s* and keeps tension for the audience, etc etc. exposing myself as a movie!Faramir defender ig

Favourite movie: probably Fellowship?? just because of Boromir????? maybe???? gods don’t make me pick one lmao. Two Towers also introduces Rohan which I have so many feelings about

Which location in Middle Earth do you want to visit most? EDORAS. OOOOOOOOO I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT ROHAN!!!!!! As a German Major, And Someone Interested In Viking Historical Recreation, And a Practicing Heathen. ooooooooooooooo I have THOUGHTS

Favourite scene: Boromir teaching Merry and Pippin to spar or the deleted scene with Boromir and Faramir in Osgiliath 🩵

Favourite quote: literally translated it into Sindarin for funsies— Boromir’s “have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?” line

Which middle earth race would you like to be? Beorning :) I would say werewolf but they’re like canonically all fucking evil so I’ll take turning into a bear, sure 👍🏻

Favourite lotr ship: Aragorn/Boromir is *chefs kiss* Everything To Me but also like. big fan of Faramir/Éomer. ik I paired Éowyn and Lothíriel in my ren fest au but I do think Éowyn deserves to live her life as an unwed shieldmaiden with the Riders of the Mark for as long as she’d like?? queen shit tbh. and Faramir loml has some shit to work through re “taming” before I can get fully on board w/ canon Éowyn/Faramir

tagging: anyone who sees + wants to do this can say I tagged them!! ^_^

[naruthandir]

Funny to me how for most people it's a LOTR->Linguistics pipeline but for me it was a linguistics->LOTR pipeline. I never really had an interest in reading Lord of the Rings because the whole thing used to struck me as very boring and I didn't really care but from ages 12-14 I was really getting into fantasy worldbuilding and conlanging "formally" (I did do that kind of stuff before that, but I didn't know it had a name or that there were comunities formed around it) and I said "Look if I am going to be a nerd about this I am going to be a full nerd about this I can't go around life calling myself a Fantasy Nerd™ when all I know about LOTR is that there is a fucked up goblin guy and Legolas has a bow" so I decided to bought the Fellowship of the Ring book in the bookstore because I am autistic and I have a hard time engaging with material I am unfamiliar with so I just picked the safest option and then I read it in a weekend. I came home, I sat down to read, and from the very start I was invested. Because Tolkien had THE BALLS to open his book with an extensive infodump about Hobbit culture and I was so into that. And the chapters in the Shire, they were a genuine delight for me. I thought the book would be boring but it was fun! It was funny! And hobbit culture felt so alive...

And when the final chapter of the Fellowship came I almost cried. Rightly, it was at that moment I realized that this was going to be a life-changing experience whether I like it or not.

Since I didn't have the rest of the books back then (and I wasn't really able to get them for reasons I don't remember) I did the most autistic thing: Right after finishing it, I decided to read it again, because I was that obsessed. I made so much silly cringy art of the characters as I imagined them and it was all I could think about in school. When I finally got my hands to The Two Towers and The Return of the King I decided to refresh my memory by reading Fellowship AGAIN and because it was summer I had the luxury to just sit down and read all day long and it was great.

I went into the books as blind as you could possibly go: I knew there were conlangs and lore, I knew there were elves, I knew the protagonist was named Frodo and the plot was about destroying a ring (there is also a being that calls the ring precious because its like a drug? Idk). But not much else. I didn't know Boromir was going to die. I didn't know about Galadriel or Elrond or Aragorn or Sam. Yes, I didn't know that Sam was a character. I was genuinely surprised at each turn the plot was taking. I was surprised about how GAY it all was (why didn't they tell me about this??) and I was absolutely shaken and emotionally destroyed with the ending. The Return of the King was an awakening of sorts for me, because I was expecting a whimsical fantasy story and instead I got to see The Horrors and I just couldn't believe the comic relief characters were dealing with suicidal ideation, out of all things.

And the last bit of Frodo's journey... Well, the scene in the tower of Cirith Ungol was genuinely rough (when Sam found Frodo, he was naked. And I just closed the book and stared into the ceiling for a while. I just had to take a break real fast) and the struggle with the ring as they got closer to Mordor and I was constantly almost-crying-but-not-quite and I knew, even though I went into the story un-spoiled, I knew Frodo wouldn't give up the ring. And then having him deal with the aftermath of it, and I was so distressed the whole time because finally, someone out there gets it. He sailed off to the west and I cried. I actually cried, right after finishing the book, yes, but for a few nights after as well. It was, well, a lot to process for 14 year old me. It had me looking up the diagnostic criteria of PTSD on Google at three in the morning because this can't be right. It wasn't that bad, surely I'm just being dramatic.

And it is very funny, that I was getting into the books expecting extensive sections of infodumping and lore and LINGUISTICS and I did get that, don't get me wrong, but I also got an emotionally resonant story that complelty re-contextuslized my lived experiences, helped me process stuff I had been shoving down the back of my mind because I didn't have the words to even describe it to myself, and lowkey turned me into a transgender anarchist. I was a changed man (just now fully aware that I was a man in the first place). It blew me away completely.

And it also reinforced my interest in linguistics! I often joke about this, but as a kid, I used to read the dictionary instead of paying attention in class. I liked words. Like, a lot. I liked the way words interacted with each other. I was like 9, perhaps, when I first attempted to create a made-up language, for a race of fictional mermaid race. I was really into My Little Pony at the time and I stole a lot of the story from there (don't forget I was nine) and my attempt at conlanging utterly failed, but still. LOTR felt pretty much tailored to me, when I finally gave it a shot. My favorite appendix was, of course, the one dealing with translation. If I was mildly interested in linguistics before this sent me down a rabbithole. I did my whole final school project for graduating on minority languages of Europe (though, due to the pandemic, I never finished it, which is a shame). I picked the literature course in high-school over the fine arts course because they had a morphology and etymology class. I named myself Beren, for fuck's sake, and I've been going by this name in real life for two and a half years by now. That's how important it was.

I really can't overstate how much this silly little book with silly little fairy people influenced my life. It's. Well, it's cringy, it's awfully, awfully cringy, embarrassing, mortifying. Isn't it funny, that we are shamed and made fun of for loving things so unapologetically? For genuinely connecting with art? Even though that's like, the whole point?

I just want to say. This is important to me. This means a lot to me. I keep talking about it but I can't help myself because it's hilarious. I went into this book out of a sense of responsibility and it completely changed my life.

This post wasn't meant to be this long. Uh. Sorry. I just wanted to make a silly joke about "Tolkien fan goes on to study formal linguistics, but it's not for the reason you think" but it turned into this whole personal rant. This is like a tendency of mine, no I don't know how to stop it. I'm sorry if this is in your dash lmao