#do you crave the need to give a lonely soul that last bit of light you carry with you

[larrysballetslippers]

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[leggerefiore]

Hopeless Wanderer

Soulmates were a wonderful thing. Everyone around had their perfect match or matches just out there lying in the world. Someone whom they would bond and grow close to while never having worry about being alone. Parents would go on to their children about how important and precious it was. In secondary school, everyone ran about showing their names as they appeared attempting to find their match. You had groaned at it then; your soulmark never came. It was rare, but people were born without a match. You had won the losing lottery. Teenage years came and went then bled into adulthood. Your aspirations to be a trainer when you were younger had fallen short from the unexpected loss of your partner. Battling had never felt the same after that. It seemed the universe deemed you to be a lonely wanderer.

Your journeying around as a vagabond left you unfilled and bored. Many sights had been seen; many interesting people had been spoken with, yet you craved that ravine depth of a relationship soulmates entailed. Your feet stopped in Nimbasa City. A city of lights and excitement. Crowds of people buzzed around the streets and man-made noise pollution travelled the air waves. What had brought you here? Perhaps a romantic tale of two unbonded people running into each other and finding love. Rumours were abound that if two unbonded people met their soulmarks would appear as each other. That was a lie, as you had met many unbound souls in your travels. They had been as disappointed as you, but it was unsurprising. You all were the unloved children of world, destined to be alone until the bitter, bitter end.

You sat on a bench to rest you weary body, tired after walking kilometres across the land. The sway of the populace was something watch. Everyone moved and marched at their own paces yet worked within a group. A group of gossiping teenage girls were heard outside of station nearby. You mindlessly listened to their chatter while engaging in people watching. "Did you hear? Saria said they don't have soulmarks even at their age! They are available! Or maybe..." a perky brunette chirped out to her friends. "You? No way, Chiara! It's totally me! When my soulmark appears, it will say 'Ingo'! No question, I love him more than you!" a girl with braids argued. You could only shake your head. If whoever they were talking about were truly without soulmarks, it was unlikely they would develop one. Large age gaps were not common, but the older person always got their soulmark during their teenage years.

Eyes travelled to the station. How long had it been since you last rode a train? It must have been years. Was this the station that went to that sleep country town? Standing up, you sauntered off into the station. The place held an energetic demeanor with how people carried themselves about. You almost found yourself swept away in the motions and wandered toward the wrong terminal. The line name caught your attention. A battle facility? How interesting... You had not battled since your beloved partner's passing. Winds of change seemed to blow in a place like this. Perhaps, it was time for you to move past that. Your pokemon would have hated to you give up completely. It was a Multi Battle Line which required a partner, but a girl from the earlier group had been separated from her two friends. "Hi! I think I saw you outside," the brunette darted her eyes to something away from you, "I, uh- need a partner and I heard you do to... Would you like to battle together?" You agreed.

The teenager, Chiara, was not a bad trainer. Certainly, she was better than your rusty technique. The twenty battles were of an adequate level of challenge. It was a refreshing experience in your nostalgic mind. Soon, your partner and you found the final battle waiting ahead. She fidgeted the edge of her skirt nervously. "H-have you met your soulmate yet?" her voice was a bit shaky, "Was it love at first sight?" You sighed. She was trying to see if someone without a soulmark would be instantly infatuated with her. "I don't have one," you tell her plainly. Her head whips to you with eyes the size of discs. "You haven't met them yet?" You shook your head. "I don't have a soulmark; I don't have a soulmate." Horror crept across her face at the realization. The stories she had heard about those without soulmarks gaining one after meeting another markless. "Are you here trying to take the Subway Bosses, too?! I called dibs!" with that exclamation she threw open the doors and ran into the next cab. You could not blame her as you had been the same way once upon a time.

Two oddly dressed men stood as your next opponents. The Subway Bosses that Chiara had called 'dibs' on. You moved to her side once again. She was staring at her wrist with wet eyes. Unconsciously, you took a gander at your own. The blood within your veins turned to ice. Names written with a well-practiced script had appeared. Ingo and Emmet. You gazed at your opponents. Surely not? "Chiara, let's finish what we started so you can leave," you readied a pokeball. It was partially a lie; you did want to get her out of here, but you also wanted leave. You had accepted a lonely life and were not ready for such a shift. She sniffled but nodded. The Subway Bosses introduced themselves and confirmed your suspicions. "I'm Ingo and that fellow over there is Emmet, we're both Subway Bosses. Multi battles require synchronization, I wonder if you both possess that." Emmet nodded at the words. You scoffed you were not at all in synchrony with the near stranger next to you. Win or lose did not matter here, just getting off the train.

The battle was a difficult one. Chiara focused too heavily on damage and left you to support. It was apparent she was taking out her frustrations about the fact they were not her soulmates. You shudder to think what she would have done to your team had she noticed your wrists. Ingo and Emmet were brutal with their attacking strategies as well. When it had ended, you and Chiara had lost. It was inevitable with her grief and your wandering mind. She dashed off the train as soon as it stopped. You moved imitate her actions, but a monotone voice called out to you, "May I see your wrist? I saw you look at it earlier." They had noticed, too it seemed. "Ah, I was just seeing if the rumours were true. Mine is still blank, haha," you explained before continuing your stride.

Unexpectedly, your name was called out. It reverberated off the metal walls of the train and directly into your heart. You froze. A hand caught your shoulder before you had time to move again. "That's your name, right? Please at least speak with us; we've been waiting so long..." Ingo had been the one approach you. A desperate fire burned in his eyes. It made you nervous. "It is, but... I don't want a soulmate. I already accepted that I would never have one." you were honest with them and hoped they would respect your wishes. It had been so long since you had a proper friend much less a lover of any kind. "That's not the case now, is it? You have two soulmates that would love to get to know you..." he pleaded with you. It was getting harder to say no. Your arm was tugged against a chest. The other boss, Emmet, had tears building in his eyes, "Please, at least give us dinner. We've been lonely, too. I don't want you to be lonely anymore."

You gave them dinner. Then, a proper first date. Followed by many other dates. Now, you sat inside your shared apartment watching snow gather on the street below. A small white puffs fell from the heavens only to depart upon reaching the ground. The smell of chocolate wafted through the air as Emmet prepared hot chocolate in the kitchen. Ingo sat curled up under multiple throws while watching some old romcom and leaning against you. No one was too sure when you had moved in with them, but everyone quickly found the arrangement suitable and adjusted like you had been there the entire time. Nimbasa was never a place you imagined yourself settling down, yet you had lived there for over a year. Ingo gasped as the heroine of the movie spilt motor oil all over her cream coloured dress. How did he get so into those?

Emmet called out when he brought the three mugs of steaming drinks into the living room. They were each passed around to everyone and Emmet took his place on the other side of you. His arm wrapped around your shoulder as he pulled you close. This made Ingo grunt and shift toward you again. You thought back to how you had felt about soulmates and shook your head. The universe seemed to want you to move past your loss before giving you somebody to love. "Ingo this movie is awful," Emmet whined when a particularly cheesy scene happened. You giggled as he tried to take the remote from his older twin. "Emmet, it has fifteen minutes left; let me have this," Ingo held the remote his chest, while Emmet reached across your lap. "Em, just let him finish it. You can pick the next one, I promise," you bargained with the younger brother who had almost knocked the hot beverage out of your hand. He sighed dramatically but shifted back into your side.

You supposed the answer to Chiara's question was no, it was not love at first sight. However, there was certainly an underlying connection that could lead to love.

[valentina-writes]

Craving

A/N: Sorry, that I haven't posted in quite a while! I was lacking motivation a little bit and had a ton of other stuff to do. This one here was not requested, but the idea for it was stuck in my head for a couple days now and I couldn't concentrate on writing anything else. I will probably write some of the open requests soon.

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: light smut (only a few paragraphs)

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„Come on, Y/N, we‘re waiting for you!”. Cassian’s voice is calling out to you from the dance floor. Behind him, you spot Mor, looking seriously offended you’re leaving her alone and instead sitting in a corner of Rita’s with a not even half-finished drink in your hand. Rhys and Feyre must be here somewhere too.

Even Azriel is on the dance floor, a rare sight. You can’t help but stare at him, the way his wings glow faintly in the glimmering lights of the club. His body that moves so flawlessly to the rhythm, so unlike the movements you are used to see him perform when training.

Fingers entangled in your hair, the hot feeling of his lips on yours. His voice in your ear, telling you he would take you slowly.

You shake your head as if to get rid of the memory, but still blush as Azriel’s gaze meets yours for a second.

“I’m sorry guys, but I don’t feel like dancing today”, you excuse yourself. That being said, you set down your glass and quickly escape out into the night.

Inhaling the cold air slowly, you try to calm down. It’s not his fault, you remind yourself, that you can’t seem to get over him. That you start thinking in an inappropriate way as soon as your eyes meet.

His lips met your neck, kissing and sucking on it. You couldn’t help but lean into his touch, your body begging for him to come closer. As his kisses travel downward you cannot help but moan out his name.

“Y/N is everything okay?”, Mor calls out to you. The fantasy in your head is gone, leaving you restless, yearning for him.

“Yes, I’m fine”, you say, not looking up.

“No, you’re not and you know that”. She’s close enough to see your face now. “What’s wrong?”, she asks. Her eyes soften as she hugs you. Mor must have seen your despair.

“I- it’s nothing, really”. At her strict look, you wince a little bit. You want to tell her. But it’s just so embarrassing.

“I had sex. With Azriel”, you start over, taking a deep breath. But before you can continue, she exclaims: “By the Mother, that’s awesome! When? Why didn’t you tell me?”.

A tear builds up in your eye and before you know it, you’re crying into her shoulder.

“It- it… it was a couple years ago”, you finally manage to say. By now all you can really feel is embarrassment. “And it’s not awesome. Well, it was. But-“. You start sobbing again.

“It was a one-night stand. He… acts as if nothing ever happened, but I can’t stop thinking about it and whenever he looks at me, I-“. You stop talking. It sounds absolutely idiotic, even to you.

But Mor doesn’t look bewildered. Instead, she hugs you even tighter, rubbing your back slightly.

“What happens then, sweetie?”, she asks.

Sighing, you gulp down your embarrassment: “I miss him. A lot. He’s still there, of course. But afterwards he stopped talking to me the way he did before. We’re not as close anymore. And above all I not only miss our friendship …”, your cheeks heat up again, “Since him I’ve never had sex THAT good again, so I stopped having any altogether. And now I’m not only missing him and kind of into him, I’m also sexually frustrated and lonely”.

You did have sex with other males in the succeeding weeks. But none of them had been able to give you the same feeling he did. That indescribable feeling of closure and … being loved. Even though he most likely didn’t love you, because it took him a month to even look at you again.

Mor’s face is a mix of amusement and empathy: “Like… no sex in years? For a guy who fucked you so good but then what? Ignored you? Even though there was this feeling that nobody else could give you?”. You nod, and she actually starts laughing. “Honey, if you weren’t that sad it would be hilarious, because it sure as hell sounds like he’s your mate”.

Your entire world shifts in that moment.

Your sweaty bodies are tangled in his sheets, gasping for air. Azriel’s shadows swirling around you, purring in your ears. With his final thrust, the world around you seems to fade away. There’s just him and you, for a second you don’t even know where his body ends and yours begins anymore.

Shocked, you look at her. “I… that kind of makes sense? But he would’ve talked to me then, wouldn’t he? I … I’m so confused right now”.

Your thoughts are running wild. Was this the reason he ignored you? Because he was overwhelmed? Was he waiting for you to make the first step? Or… Or was he not interested in the bond and wanted to reject it?

“Y/N? Mor? Is everything alright? Rhys told me to look after you, you’ve been gone for quite a while now”. You quickly wipe away your tears at Azriel’s voice. What should you tell him?

Mor winks at you, already making her way back towards the entrance: “Everything alright, shadowsinger. You might want to stay and talk to Y/N for a second though”.

And just like that, Mor vanishes, leaving me alone with Azriel. His wings are slightly shuffling behind his back and his gaze on me looks worried.

“So, uhm what did Mor mean?”. His shadows are coiling closely around his arms, showing how uncomfortable he is.

You inhale slowly, making sense of your thoughts. You find no good solution, so you just decide to start at the beginning.

“A couple of years ago we… after a celebration for you when you came home from a mission we had sex. Do you remember?”. It was almost painful to say this while watching him. Not only was the atmosphere incredibly tense, but also the possibility of him actually having forgotten about it made you sad.

He frowned a little, “I do remember, Y/N. Quite well, actually. But I don’t get what you’re trying to tell me”. For a second, you believe to see a certain hunger in his eyes. An expression you had only seen once on him before.

Nodding, you continue, “There was this… this feeling back then. Something I’ve never felt before. And nobody else has been able to make me feel the same way. I told Mor about it…”

You can’t finish your sentence, he cuts in sharply, “Why are you telling Mor this after years?”. And to himself, almost inaudible, he murmurs, “Don’t think about the other males”. The anger on his face is devastating.

You are absolutely terrified, but know you have to tell him. So, you muster up all of your courage and speek the words aloud that had been on your mind ever since, “Because I am in love with you. Because I don’t know what I should do about this, as you’re so distant all the time. And I cannot take this anymore, I miss you. I hate seeing you with other females. When I can’t fall asleep I think about this connection I felt that night”.

The pure shock on his face quickly gives way to a broad smile. “And what Mor meant is that… when I talked to her and described that feeling to her, she said we are most probably mates”. The last word is purely a whisper hanging in the air between you two. Mates.

And then, without hesitation, he begins to talk. “The first time I felt the bond was about two weeks before that night, when I said goodbye to you before that mission. It was so painful to leave you behind…”

“Hold up, you knew of the bond?”, you question him. Guilt creeps upon his face. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you ignore me for weeks after we had sex? Do you know what this did to me? All these years and you didn’t bother to just talk to me?”. Hot tears again spill over your cheeks.

He comes closer, as to wipe your tears away, but you back away.

“Y/N, I thought you didn’t want the bond. That you rejected it. Or worse, that it was only one-sided, because I couldn’t feel you across it. Rhys told me that the safest way to know was to just sleep with you, because then the bond normally clears up, but it didn’t work. At least I thought so”. The look on his face is pleading, but still, all you feel is anger and loneliness.

“So you only slept with me because Rhys told you so?”.

“No! I did it, because I love you and wanted you, truly. I still wished that the mating bond would reveal itself. And when I thought that it hadn’t worked, I couldn’t bear to be around you. I was so angry at the Cauldron, because I felt unworthy. Again. Imagine being in my situation. Having a mate, but the bond not working completely, the other person unaware of what’s going on! I did what I had to do to protect myself”.

The vulnerability in his statement catches you absolutely off guard. A small smile formed on your face, as you walk a few steps towards him.

“Maybe we weren’t ready back then. Maybe it kept us waiting, because it knew we would need the time to work things out”, you suggest, closing the distance between you and him.

His eyes twinkle in the starlight, as he lowers his head, “Well, there’s only one way of finding out”, he says as he cradles your head in his hands. Slowly, he comes closer and closer, until you can’t endure the tension anymore and slam your lips on his.

His lips are velvet on yours, only intensifying the kiss after a few seconds. He holds himself back, almost painfully so. But you are yearning for him, for his touch. And as you licked his lower lip and he grants you access to his mouth, you felt it again. The euphoria racing through your veins. And as you kept kissing, it was as if a fog lifts itself and all of a sudden you can feel him, not only against your body, but also against your soul, interlocking with it.

He must have felt the same thing, as we both gasp for air almost at the same time. Azriel’s mouth twists into a smile as he kisses me again. His wings are now wrapped around you, obscuring you from any passers-by.

“I’ve waited 500 years to find you, my mate”, he says. The word echoing through me. Mate. Mate. Mate. You still can’t believe this is actually happening, as you send a wave of love across the bond. “But I would have waited 500 more for you. For this moment alone”.

At this, you kiss him again, unable to express your emotions any other way. “Let’s end this journey how we began it, shall we? With me in your bed”.

[inkedtae]

starfruit ⇾ jhs. [M]

𝓅𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 ⇾ camboy!hoseok x curvy!reader

𝑔𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒/𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 ⇾  s2l, livecam au, smut, pwp, filth, 18+

𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎 ⇾  one video is all it takes to realize you’re all he wants.

𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉 ⇾ 20.2k

𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ⇾ camboy!hoseok, dom!hoseok, big dicc!hoseok, ass enthusiast!hoseok, nose piercing!hoseok, curvy!reader, sub!reader, shy!reader, nipple piercing!reader, vague mention of alcohol, unprotected sex (wrap it to tap it), rough sex, tongue kink, lowkey corruption kink, dirty talk, creampie, double penetration, reverse cowgirl position, sixty-nine position, oral (m. and f. receiving), degradation, overstimulation, mutual masturbation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, use of star shaped vibrator, multiple orgasms, body worshipping, cum-eating, face licking, choking, dry-humping, a lil hair-pulling, spanking, swearing, begging, biting, clit biting, motorboating, fingering, rimming, ass job, ass play, spit play, breast play, a tad bit of jealousy/possessiveness for the win, star sparkling filth

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇'𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒 ⇾ hobi thirst hours:open

✩ banner by ⇾ @dee-ehn​ (thank you again dear~)

✩ beta’d by ⇾ @kitsutaes​ (darling luff~) and @moonmintrails​ (my luffly soulmate~)

✩ le playlist

Blinds shut, doors locked. The routine is second nature at this point. Hoseok dims his lights before checking his hair in the mirror. He sighs at his reflection, hoping this lazy look of his is good enough for tonight’s live. Already shirtless, Hoseok sports baggy, grey sweatpants that hang dangerously low on his hips, while his semi-hard cock is just barely visible. 

A good enough tease, he thinks after one last glance. Or at least let’s hope it is. 

He can’t bring himself to care too much about what is or isn’t “properly shown.” Maybe a year ago, or even six months ago, he would’ve made sure he was completely hard, his bulge unmistakingly visible through his sweatpants, and not have dimmed the lights. Now, however, it seems as though all he wants to do is the bare minimum. He’ll show as much as he needs to, get off as well as he has to, put on a good enough show to keep his viewers satisfied… for now. 

Still, even the bare minimum requires a certain degree of effort. Making his way to his desk, Hoseok scrolls through his phone and turns on his playlist for tonight. The first suggestive song tickles out of the speakers and softly fills the room. Getting off on camera is only half the job of being a camstreamer. Setting the tone, giving the audience an experience to crave, is the other half. 

As The Weeknd’s melody continues to hop between the walls of his bedroom, Hoseok makes sure his camera is properly set. Usually, he’d be making himself comfortable on his bed, preparing a variety of toys by his side to play with. Tonight is different. Tonight, Hoseok lacks the motivation to play around for an audience. In fact, if he’s being honest with himself, he’s been lacking that motivation for a while. Tonight, he wants nothing more than to sit at his desk and use his hand to get himself off. Back to the basics, the bare minimum.

He looks forward to reading comments while he searches for the courage to share his news. He’s been thinking about this for a while, thinking about retiring from this kind of work. After three years of being on this site, he has cultivated a good following of viewers, but now the entire ordeal just seems… tiring. He loves sharing parts of himself to the camera, some more than others, but it feels like a chapter of his life that he has somewhat outgrown. Now, the entire job feels more like a chore. Not much pleasure, besides the one he stimulates himself, can be found before a camera anymore. 

There’s something about the distance between him and others that he somewhat loathes now. Before, Hoseok found the disconnect, the stringless affair of live after live to be a comfort. He believed he could come and go as he pleased. He’d have fun with others at a safe enough proximity to fool around without the fear of catching serious feelings. It was a solid plan, until it wasn’t. All Hoseok craves now is that spark between him and another. And the more time he spends live streaming, the more he realizes how lonely it is. 

His camera starts to flash, signaling it’s going to start recording in about fifteen seconds. Hoseok lets the red gleam pull him out of his thoughts as he stands up. He shoves his hands in his pockets and tenses his stomach a bit. He doesn’t have ripped abs, but he’s fit enough to give off that impression. The light stops flashing, shining a bright red to let him know the live has started. Cutting just under his nose, the camera captures his entire torso and just a bit under his hips. Views immediately pour in as do comments and some cash. 

Hoseok chuckles a bit, watching as viewers beg him to drop his pants. The attention is just enough to get him fully hard. That’s one crutch Hoseok seems to have trouble letting go of; the attention. 

Licking his lips, he starts to palm himself through his pants. He lets out a shaky sigh then pulls his chair forward and takes a seat once again. He leaves some room between him and the desk though as he slouches a bit and makes sure that they can see his hard-on through his loose sweatpants. With the camera rolling, Hoseok has no other choice but to play along, one last time at least. 

“Hey,” he forces a smile. “Everyone ready for a relaxed night?”

[agustwantsthatd] : no toys tonight?

He shakes his head. “No toys,” he replies, continuing to rub himself over his pants. “Nothing fancy tonight. I hope that’s alright.”

Hoseok laughs to himself a bit at the mixed reactions. His aim to have a relaxed evening costs him a couple thousand viewers. In the past, something like that would’ve scared him enough to make him immediately drop his pants and move the show to his bed. But, now, he really can’t bring himself to feel even the slightest bit worried.

Just a few less people to break the news to. 

Comments begging him to just take his sweats off start to stack. Hoseok runs his tongue across his teeth, puffing his bottom lip out while glaring at the comment section. He doesn’t appreciate being told what to do very often. Most of the time, he just does what he wants while talking to some to his audience like he’s fucking them instead of whatever toy he usually goes for. His patience for their attitude is wearing thin. They almost don’t treat him like a real person sometimes, talking to him like an object. It may have been what he wanted before, the distance, the ability to keep himself unattainable, but now it’s becoming something of a pet peeve.

[starfruit340] : it’s only been a day, but i’ve missed you. Hope you’ve been well.

Hoseok only just catches the kind comment before it’s casted off by another pile of demands, smiling at his screen. That Starfruit is always too nice for her own good. All her comments are gentle requests, sometimes even sweet nothings. Once he even caught her asking him how his day was and if he’s eating well. He’s not sure what a sweet soul like that is doing on a site like this. He has realized, in the last six months or so, that she’s been the only viewer to remind him of his humanity. Her ability to look passed the charade of his has been refreshing. He wonders if she knows, if she can tell he hasn’t been his best. 

“Starfruit,” he breathes as comments questioning his sudden smile flood in. “You’re too sweet for your own good, honey.”

[starfruit340] : did he just say starfruit?

Immediately, Hoseok regrets his words, realizing his mistake. Not even a rookie would call a user out by name. A few viewers have turned on the user, bashing her for the favouritism he just displayed. “No fighting or nothing comes off,” Hoseok threatens, raising a brow. A smile plays on his lips as some users scold each other to stay in line. 

[agustwantsthatd] : let’s not forget the real fruit we all want.

Hoseok has to keep himself from laughing at the comment. He doesn’t want to start anything else and that comment seems to be enough to keep everyone focused on him, so he doesn’t want to ruin it’s progress.

“Since you’ve all behaved yourselves,” he starts, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his sweats. “The pants are coming off.” 

He pushes the sweats down, lifting his hips a bit. His huge cock slaps his stomach once exposed, then stands tall. Kicking the pants off his ankles under the desk, Hoseok returns his hand around his veiny member, storking himself a couple of times. 

It seems like his remark to Starfruit has made some viewers adopt her sense of concern for him. They begin asking about his day and if he’s doing well. He bites back the sneer that wavers the smile on his face. Though he would like to believe that their concern for his well being is genuine, he knows they’re only saying that in hopes to get his attention.

Hoseok can’t play around it for much longer. He forces a smile, replying, “My day was fine, darling. How was yours?” 

Slowly pumping himself, he reads a few more comments then lays back in his chair. His usual cocky expression falters, a fact he’s not very proud of. He replies to some more users to cover it up, plastering on a fake smile long enough to avoid any questions on “what’s wrong.” 

Hoseok falls silent, squirting some lube into his hand to help get himself off. He lets a few good moans out, closing his eyes and getting lost in the pleasure rather than focusing on the broadcast. His cock’s getting needier as he just slightly tightens his grip and moves his hand faster over himself. Rolling his hips into his hand, he sucks in a sharp breath.

The void within him cannot be pleased with one lousy hand job. Hoseok tries to refocus his attention on the live stream, hoping he might rediscover that forgotten thrill of exposing himself to everyone. However, the closer he gets to his orgasm, the clearer Hoseok realizes that the only thrill lies merely in the pleasure of getting off rather than doing it for an audience. 

He huffs under his breath and rests his head back against his chair. Forget the camera and the thousands of people watching him get himself closer to his high. Hoseok realizes that if he’s going to cum right now, he’s going to have to attach his loneliness to something, someone other than himself. 

The first person in mind sparkles with kindness and Hoseok tells himself he’s only focusing his energy on her because he just wants to get all this over with already. But Hoseok can’t deny the swirl of excitement bubbling in his chest at the thought of her. He wonders if her voice is just as sweet as her words, eyes just as innocent as her soul. Pumping himself faster, he can’t help but think about her smile. Is it as bright and full of hope as her comments? Or does it delicately twinkle like her personality? 

A staggered moan tears through his throat, adam’s apple bouncing, as his brows come together. Jaw clenches, nostrils flare, and Hoseok groans his pleasure through gritted teeth. Suddenly sprouting out his release, he gasps and rolls his body into his hand. Usually, he’d make a show of this, but he can’t deny it’s truth right now. The shots of cum land over his legs, some even on the ground but for the first time in a long time, Hoseok can’t care less. Chest still heaving, he tries to dump all thoughts of her from his mind but she’s tethered deeper within now. 

Stringing a few curses, Hoseok mentally scolds himself for his inability to think tonight. Any other night, he would’ve pulled up some porn on his phone way before the camera started rolling and hid the lewd video from the viewers’ sight. He would’ve continued on his efforts to carry out the bare minimum.

But, thinking of her, attaching himself to a user he’d never even properly talked to, only further proves to him how important it is for him to leave this life behind. He’s desperate to fill a void and acts recklessly. The determination to break the news hits anew. He’s sure this is it this time. He’s going to tell them.

That determination trickles the moment he returns his attention on the screen. The comment section is going wild. His words get caught in his throat. A rush of cash floods in the tune of clattering coins. Praises follow commands and Hoseok is not sure if he can even keep his screen persona up for much longer, let alone drop the ball about leaving. 

Eyes growing heavier, exhaustion slowly overtakes him. “I’m sorry for the quiet show tonight,” he mumbles, cleaning himself up. “It’s just…”

He stares at the comments, the view count, the amount of cash he made tonight and sighs. His courage falters, so that happy, hopeful image resurfaces. He forces a wide smile and shrugs. “I had a bit of a rough day, but hopefully tomorrow makes up for it. I’ll catch you all in the next live. Sleep well.” 

Hoseok leaves them with the image of his fakest smile as he turns the camera off. His entire mask crumbles when it’s over. After cleaning himself off, Hoseok pulls on his pants and tries to convince himself that it just wasn’t the right time. He just got off to one of the users. He’s clearly not in the right state of mind to announce this kind of decision.

With a sigh, he switches his computer off then the music and crawls into bed. Face buried in his pillow, Hoseok waits for sleep to wash over him and hopes, with every fibre of his being, that the fear of telling them the truth doesn’t follow him into tomorrow. 

A loud yawn leaves Hoseok as he shuffles back into his room. He shuts the door while taking a quick sip of his morning— well, mid-morning coffee. He’s not used to sleeping in since it always happens to throw his entire day off. He would’ve been fast asleep by eleven, but a neighbour of his, a couple of doors down, seemed to have other plans for the night. With all her moaning, Hoseok was barely able to get a wink of sleep. She wasn’t up for long, but just the fact that she had interrupted him in the middle of drifting to sleep was enough to keep him wide awake. Once he’s up, he’s up. There’s not much he could do about it. 

With a tired sigh, Hoseok sets his mug on his desk and logs onto his computer. He makes it a habit to check the live website for new donors and sometimes even replies to some comments left last night. He hovers the cursor over a new post, wondering if a quick broadcast would break the news better. At the chime of a new message, Hoseok’s attention darts to his inbox.

[from starfruit134] : so sorry to bother you

Hoseok brings his brows together. Heart thumping, he immediately recognizes the username. His mind reels to last night, trying to recall if he said your name again. Did he maybe mutter it again when he was caught up in the act of getting him off? His fears intensify as he wonders if any of those viewers followed you into your inbox last night to leave some nasty comments. Maybe some were so hurtful you needed to reach out to him. 

Confusion riddles his face when you debunk all his theories with a simple string of texts.

[from starfruit134] : hope all is well.

Hoseok’s fingers hover over the keyboard for a second. Should he really be engaging in a conversation with you? After all that’s transpired last night, the idea of privately talking to you has his stomach flipping with the flutters of butterfly wings. 

He doesn’t know when he last talked to a girl like you though. And the more he stares at your username, the more he craves the sincere interaction of simply one person getting to know another. 

[to starfruit134] : could always be worse. are you alright? did anyone bother you last night?

[from starfruit134] : no, no one bothered me. i just came to thank you for getting them off my back actually

A little smile plays on his lips upon reading your message. His heart murmurs, stunting his breath a bit by how sweet you can be. 

[to starfruit134] : no need to thank me. 

Hoseok’s about to reassure you that the entire interaction was his fault when you suddenly hit him with a question he wasn’t expecting. 

[from starfruit134] : have you really been alright? you didn’t seem like you were feeling well last night.

You noticed? Hoseok furrows his brows, sitting back in his seat. His fingers brush against the letters as he tries to come up with a good enough lie, but he really can’t bring himself to type one out. He wonders how much you’ve picked up on. Can you see through his entire persona or just the fact that he’s lost the motivation to put in the same effort? 

Swallowing thickly, Hoseok hopes his reply is enough to keep your questions at bay.

[to starfruit134] : just an off day 

[from starfruit134] : ahhh i see.

[from starfruit134] : well, i have something for you. 

[from starfruit134] : has sent a video

Hoseok bites his lip, a single brow quirking at the thumbnail. The first thing he notices is ass. Curved so beautifully, your ass struggles to remain contained in your yellow panties. If he had known you were this thick, he would’ve thought of you sooner. With a tilt of his head, he stares at your plump cheeks, smirking at hints of cellulite and lining stretch marks. A light blush colours his face and he has to pull himself out of the trance of the picture to properly return his attention to your messages.

[from starfruit134] : you must get this a lot. these kinds of videos.

You aren’t wrong. He receives videos like this multiple times on a daily basis. However, not a single one of these people have ever been so… kind. Many of them demand that he watch them, which only turns him off. Yes, maybe once or twice, Hoseok appreciates a guiding hand in his sexual endeavours online. But, off camera, all he wants is to be spoken to with a bit more kindness. It’s for this reason that he usually deletes all those videos without a second thought.

[from starfruit 134] : i don’t mean to bother you with mine. but, you looked so exhausted last night and i wanted to show you how much i appreciate your dedication to still live stream.

[from starfruit134] : also i’d love it if you could tell me what you think? maybe even offer a few pointers? i’m thinking about starting one of my own lives and i just wanna make sure i’m good enough.

The first message has him smiling, but the second one fades any happiness he thought he held. Of course, you’re here for a favour. Were your previous messages about his well-being serious, or were you just buttering him up to get him to comment on your video? Do you even really appreciate his efforts to put on a show? 

His mind laps around a million doubts, but his heart intercepts the discussion with the reminder of your usual attitude and presence. You’re considerate, that fact being clear in the way you’ve always put his needs before yours. And even though he really is just some guy online, you’ve always treated him with a degree of humanity that others lacked. He doesn’t blame them, as he’s admitted to himself that he’s the one provoking their feral reactions. But the fact that you can switch between the two so seamlessly means something to him. A little sigh pushes past his lips. You’ve always seemed sincere enough, so why shouldn’t he give you the benefit of the doubt? 

Hoseok sits back in his chair and rubs his chin, staring at that thumbnail. Just from a first glance, he knows you’d do well. A lot of the cam business centres around superficial tendencies and he can’t deny your beauty. He could easily ignore your message, like he does with others, or pretend to have viewed it and reply with a single word, “good.” But, something within him can’t let you go that easily. 

Licking his lips, Hoseok reaches for the lube. He’s getting hard anyways and there’s still a whole day before his next live. After putting on his headphones, Hoseok takes a deep breath and starts the video, full screening it to make sure he gets every angle of your ass. 

Lights dimmed, you smile shyly at the camera. A string of star shaped lights twinkle behind you, illuminating your room with a sensual glow. The quiet beat of a suggestive song can only just be picked up by the camera as you run a hand through your hair and toss it to the other side of your head. You’ve created quite an ambiance for him, one he definitely finds himself craving. 

“Hi,” you giggle, biting your lip nervously. “I hope this is okay. I’ve never really done this before. You make it look so easy every night.” 

Hoseok can’t help but smile with you, setting the lube down to just admire your cuteness for now. He just knew you had a stellar smile. Someone that nice has to have a cute smile to match it.

Fuck, she’s adorable. 

He can’t keep his eyes off yours, even with your breasts squished in that tight shirt of yours. You have this endearing innocence that he’s not so used to. Dressed so slutty, looking so precious, you sit at your desk with your bed behind you. Hoseok is suddenly charged with the urge to ruin you, just laying you down on your bed and dicking you down so good, you’d never want to leave his side. He’s not really sure what you were so worried about. It’s rather obvious to him that you’d do great as a camgirl. Yet, the thought makes his heart twinge. 

“Hmm,” you hum, looking up. 

Hoseok can’t believe how cute you look even when you’re just thinking. He glances at the time of the video, cursing himself when he sees it's only been ten seconds and he’s already whipped for you. He wonders if this is an act, if you know exactly what you’re doing. One look into your nervous eyes let’s him know you’re clueless to your own charms.

“Well, I hope I'm not catching you at a bad time. You looked…” you trail off, chewing on your lip before slightly shaking your head and changing the course of your sentence. Still, Hoseok can fill in the blank you’ve left. You can tell he’s been off his game, he concludes. Now the question remains: how long have you known?

“I just wanted to know from the best if I’m cut out for this kind of…” Pausing, you search for the right word. “Fun.” 

With a deep breath, you let your shoulders fall a bit and let your gaze wander only to look back at the camera like you just remembered something. “Oh, I guess I should show you what I’m wearing first, right? Why am I asking? He can’t reply.”

Hoseok chuckles a bit at your little rant. He licks his lips to whisper, “it’s okay, honey. Show me what you’ve got.”

As you get up, Hoseok shifts in his seat. Jaw going slack, he has to remind himself to breathe. You stand up and show off that tiny, little yellow crop top you’re wearing with those matching lace panties that hug your curves all too well. Fisting his hands, Hoseok lowly growls, wanting to rip them right off while he’s thrusting into you. He knows he’s barely seen anything yet, but he’s already nudging his underwear off. Inhaling a sharp breath, he watches his screen intently as you slowly show off your body. Giving your back to the camera, you cup the underside of your ass then use your fingers to shake each cheek. Your ass jiggles even though you’ve barely touched it. 

“Oh, shit,” Hoseok sighs, melting back into his seat. How the fuck can it move like that? With each shake, your cheeks bounce up in waves. He rests a hand over his mouth, brows furrowing, as he watches you tease the fuck out of him. At least three new ways to fuck you come to mind every time you shyly look over your shoulder at the camera.

You give each cheek a good rub then stand with your legs hip length apart and lean forward enough to just stick your ass out. Hoseok’s just about to wonder what you’re up to when you start to bounce a bit on the balls of your feet. The waves return, ass clapping loudly, effortlessly with each jump. Hoseok has lost all ability to give a shit if his roommates are home or not. He groans out at the sight and tilts his head a bit, thinking it’s going to give him a better view. 

You’ve perfected that move. Catching glimpses of cellulite, Hoseok smiles to himself at your natural beauty. He almost forgot you were a natural girl. He wonders how natural you’ve left your pussy for him.

As you continue to make a show of your ass, his hand hovers over the timeline of the video. He debates on whether or not he should just skip to the parts where you’re finally naked and pleasing yourself to the thought of him. But, with every second that you clap or shake your ass, Hoseok concludes that he really doesn’t want to miss a second of you. Moving his cursor to the side, Hoseok settles on letting you tease him for a little while longer. 

You giggle as you look at the lens over your shoulder and stand up straight again, suddenly getting shy. Hoseok smiles and chuckles a bit with you, not able to resist how adorable you are. He lets out a hissing sigh, trying to figure out why the fuck this didn’t happen sooner. The thought of you last night got him off, the sight of you this morning has transported him into uncharted grounds. He’s never sure what he should be doing. Sometimes, he’s too entranced by your beauty to do anything at all, and other times his hand acts on his own. Taking a deep breath, Hoseok decides to simply stroke himself a bit for now, watching as you pick up the camera and set it up just in front of your bed.

You crawl over the sheets, oblivious to how good of an angle the camera has of your ass. “I just finished watching your live and I didn’t touch myself just so I can show you how wet you get me,” you say as you seat yourself in front of your pillows and spread your legs. 

Hoseok mutters a quiet, “oh god,” when his eyes fall on the big, dark wet patch between your legs. Even your inner thighs look slick and sticky. You pull the hem of your panties aside to show him the mess he’s made. Hoseok smiles when he sees that you’ve trimmed the hair up for the most part, leaving a little patch on the top part of your pussy. Fate is cruel to present his perfect girl yet keep her so far away. Hoseok can’t fight the frustration festering in his heart at the reality of your separate worlds. 

But as you continue your discovery of pleasures, Hoseok can’t dwell on the misfortune of your shared distant fate. You’re too cute to deny attention, not like Hoseok has much of a choice to do so when you’re offering yourself up to him on a star speckled platter. 

You tug on your folds with your other hand, fingers in the shape of a ‘V,’ to properly show him how ready you are. Swollen and sensitive, your pussy is drenched with your wetness. 

His eyes twitch, roll back at the sight. Never has he been this fucking turned on before. He huffs a breath, trying to regain his composure as you further spread your legs. Biting on your lip, you look to be lost in thought, looking up at the camera in wonderment. 

“Hmm,” you hum again, making Hoseok’s heart flutter. “I think I’ll just take this off. Might be easier to play that way,” you give him a single shoulder shrug. 

Hoseok lowly moans and nods. His strokes become a bit fast as he watches you pull your panties off and toss them somewhere in your room. Keeping your legs spread, you pull up your shirt and expose your breasts. Hoseok pauses the video, removing his hand from his already twitching cock as he leans his elbows on his desk. Taking a deep breath, he tries to calm himself down because he knows that if he doesn’t he’s going to cum just from the sight of your duality. 

Sneaking a glance at your frozen image on his screen, Hoseok quietly moans to himself. Your shirt is still on but rolled up to display your tits. He can’t believe that someone as shy and innocent as you also has a nipple piercing. He can definitely tell that you have a slutty side, but you don’t like showing it often. The fact that you’re even exposing yourself to him like this is enough to make him want to have you all for himself. He’s not usually possessive but he just can’t stand the thought of you posting videos like this for everyone else. 

Playing the video again, Hoseok sits back up in his chair and just watches you for now. He decides he’s not going to touch himself yet until he sees you finally start to play with yourself. He wants to see you enjoy yourself first before indulging in his own pleasures. He also figures it might be the best way to hold off on his impending orgasm.

You shyly smile at the camera and pinch your nipples, rolling the buds between your fingers. Hoseok smiles, groaning to himself as you quietly giggle and bite your lip. He can see that, in this moment, you’re putting up an act, and he’s loving it. It’s not as adorable as when you’re unintentionally cute and nervous, but it’s just as sexy. 

Nervously sliding a hand down to your pussy, you cup your pierced breast with your other hand and gently massage it. You land a few light slaps on your pussy, moaning louder with each hit. Hoseok’s drooling, though he doesn’t pay much mind to that. Completely enthralled by the sight of you looking so pleased, he doesn’t even realize he has leaned forward so close that his face is only a few inches away from the screen. All he can think about is burying himself between your legs and drowning in your pussy. 

A high pitched moan escapes you as you start to lazily rub your clit with your fingers. Your other hand moves from your breast to rest behind you as you lean back and get yourself comfortable. Gazing down at your own work, you moan again, sighing contently as you gather more of your wetness and further rub it against your needy bud. 

Pause. 

Hoseok leans back in his seat, rubbing his face with his hands. If you were here right now, he’d seat you on his lap and help guide your bounces on his throbbing cock. What kind of game do you think you’re playing? You have to know how fucking hot you are. Hoseok begins to wonder if you’re even really looking to get pointers or if you’re just here to show off. You’ve already set the scene, and look the part. There’s not really much left to it. Maybe his use of your name last night switched something in you. However, judging by how nervous you are, he assumes you must really be looking for pointers and not just showing off because he noticed you. Though, if he’s being honest with himself, you’re too fucking hot to not know it yourself. 

He chews on his lower lip as he debates on what he should tell you. Just a couple of minutes in and Hoseok is willing to transfer all his funds to you if you were a live streamer like he was. But the idea of sharing you with everyone else is not something he’s particularly fond of. Pushing that thought aside, Hoseok ignores the disheartening feeling swimming in his chest from the mere thought of someone else witnessing your precious figure like that. He decides to simply focus on the video and not take you out of its context so much anymore. You’re just some hot girl on a screen, he tells himself, nothing to be overtaken by.

Play. 

You slap your pussy again, squealing giggles then looking up at the camera shyly. Hoseok blushes, licking his lips at how fucking cute you are. With a gasp, you look between the camera and your pussy. Hoseok furrows his brows, wondering what’s got you all worked up now. You shift closer to the edge, grabbing the camera and bringing it down to your wet pussy.

Hoseok’s face flushes red as your entire wetness is in HD. He assumes this must be what his view would be like if you were here with him right now. However, that’s not what’s got him all choked up and breathless. You move your fingers up off your pussy and Hoseok growls loudly at the sticky string of juices that connects your pussy to your fingers. You giggle, in the process of placing the camera back in it’s spot when he pauses the video once more.

This can’t be real. No one this hot has ever even looked at him twice. Those other girls that flood his inbox are beautiful but you’re fucking enchanting. Fuck, not taking you out of context. You did that yourself when you sent him this video looking that cute and irresistible after a handful of messages worrying over his well being. You’ve made yourself more real than your video, obscured his senses with your endearing personality and beautiful body. 

Minimizing the full screen for a second, Hoseok clicks back to his inbox in a different tab and deletes all the other videos from the other girls, even resorting to blocking them, leaving your messages behind. He clicks back to your video, full screening it again. He’s decided: you’re all he wants.

After playing the video again, Hoseok leans forward and watches as you reset the camera on your bed and lay back into your pillows. 

“I’m wet enough for a toy,” you think out loud, making Hoseok smile. His cheeks hurt a bit from how much you’ve got him grinning throughout the first three minutes of your video. 

You reach into your night table, grabbing a yellow star shaped toy, bulky with curved edges, from the first drawer. You show it to him with a smile, and he breaths a chuckle, completely taken by your charming antics. You shove the toy into your mouth, wetting it even more and lean back over to reach for something else. Legs still spread, pussy still glistening, you rummage through the drawer for a moment longer. 

Though your cunt is on full display for him, Hoseok focuses his attention on your face, enchanted by how cute you look when you're focused on something. You have the long string of the yellow toy dangling out of your lips, looking like you’re sucking a lollipop as you finally find what you’re looking for and pull it out to show it to the camera. The long, golden cylinder remote operates the vibrator, Hoseok realizes. 

Taking the vibrator out of your mouth, you set the remote down. You move the wet toy between your folds, drenching it in your juices before tugging on your pussy’s lips and shoving the toy in. Your brows furrow, mouth hangs open as you slowly slide it in, squealing in the process. You swallow thickly once it’s in, the rubber line hanging out of it just like it did in your mouth. 

“If you were here,” you start as you pick up the remote again. “I’d let you control it.” Smiling to the camera, you flip your hair off your shoulder and suck on your bottom lip. 

“Let me?” Hoseok questions under his breath. He can tell from the way your eyes sparkle with mischief that you’re choosing your words carefully. You’re egging him on, knowing he’s the dominant type. As you turn the vibrator on at its lowest setting, Hoseok can’t shake the feeling that you’d love the feeling of his tongue between your folds, maybe even a bit lower. Watching you make yourself comfortable, he scoffs, “Honey, I can ruin you.” 

You keep the remote beside you as you close your eyes and enjoy the little stimulation. Hoseok pumps some lube in his hand and starts to stroke himself again, wanting to match the same level of stimulation you’re getting to feel as though he’s there with you. You must have been getting a bit impatient with yourself though, because not even seven seconds later, one hand is on your clit, rubbing harsh circles around it, while the other is on the remote, turning up the intensity of the vibrations.

Caught in the pleasure, your thumb trembles over the buttons, the vibrator suddenly being heard clearly over the camera. With the loud hum of your toy and the symphony of moans escaping you, the music can barely be heard. It’s just you, him and that star shaped vibrator you’ve seemed to lose all control over. A screech tumbles out of you as the remote falls out of your hand and onto the floor. You let out a moan of frustration while the vibrator goes crazy inside you. 

Hoseok can’t help but smile at your horny, clumsy state. He’s so enraptured by your annoyed yet pleased sounds that he doesn’t even realize he’s been jerking his cock to a fast pace for the last little bit. 

You lay back in your pillows, seemingly accepting your fate as your body jolts and eyes roll back with every buzz of pleasure. High moan after moan tears out of you. You beg him to never stop, grinding your hips up and Hoseok can’t help but wonder what he’s doing to you exactly in your mind that’s making you this needy. 

“O-oh, fuck yee-eess,” you manage to whine. You have your arms framing your breasts, pushing them together for him to admire as you get yourself off. While one hand gingerly plays with one of your nipples, your other hand rests near your mouth, sucking on your trembling fingers like you’re trying to stay quiet. 

“Fuck, just scream,” Hoseok whispers under his breath. What he’d give right now to have you scream his name. He moans loudly at the sight of your riling on your bed, so captivated by your pleasure, as he jacks himself off at a speed he never thought he could. 

Your moans get higher pitched by the second and Hoseok realizes that you’re getting closer. Hips shooting up, you finally cry out all your moans and whines as you cum. Hoseok’s eyes widen at the sight, breathlessly whining to himself as you roll your hips up to ride your orgasm out. 

Face lost in the pile of pillows behind you as you throw your head back, all Hoseok can really see is your slick gleamed pussy. Hints of your orgasm leaks out of you before you flip to your side and pull your knees up to your chest. Whimpering quietly into your pillow, you bounce a bit on your bed. 

Hoseok swallows hard. Going to lick his lips, he notices another trail of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth. He doesn’t make an effort to wipe it away, one hand too busy pumping his needy cock while the other’s clutching onto the chair’s armrest. Knuckles whitening, he tightens his grip and lets out a dark moan at the sight of you overstimulating yourself because you’re just that needy. 

Sitting up again, you run a hand through your hair and try to spread your legs. They’re still shaking; you’re still shaking. Eyes wet with horny tears, you let a few loud moans slip pass your pouty lips. “Fu-ck,” you stutter, eyes rolling back a bit as you hold onto the underside of your thighs. He can tell you’re doing your best to keep your pussy visible for the camera. You’re trying desperately to hold your legs apart, but with all that uninterrupted friction, you’re struggling. Knees knocking together, blocking your breasts and pussy from view, you can’t seem to keep your body under control. 

All previous attempts to remain quiet have fully been discarded. As Hoseok previously requested, you start screaming out your pleasures. Falling back into your pillows, body shuddering, you put all your strength in pulling your legs apart and scream at the instant pleasure it provides. Hoseok furrows his brows, chest heaving as he watches you toe the line of your next orgasm. 

You start to rile in place again, choking on a sob-like moan. Hoseok lets out a little sigh at the sound, swearing to himself that it sounds all too familiar. He doesn’t dwell too much on the familiarity, though, as you enjoy your next high. 

Then you suddenly sit up, eyes wide. “Holy shit,” you practically sob, quickly pulling the vibrator out and letting all your juices squirt out of you. You hold the vibrator to your clit and cry out as your release sprays all over you, the bed and the camera. Shutting your eyes, you stick your tongue out to catch a quick taste of yourself before looking back at the camera and squealing. 

Hoseok jumps back a bit, as if he too is getting squirted all over. His orgasm suddenly overtakes him just from the sight of you tasting yourself then trying to save the camera all while still holding the vibrator to your clit and squirting whatever you have to offer. The way you’re still desperate for stimulation even after possibly ruining your camera has him almost shaking. Ropes of his cum fall all over his desk, streaking his screen and keyboard, but he couldn’t care less. You’re both a fucking mess and he likes it that way. 

You finally discard the vibrator, letting it continue to buzz on your bed and fall back. Your body shudders a bit and you bring your knees up to your chest, letting your orgasm course through you for a minute longer. “Well, shit,” you whisper to yourself. Slowly, you unfold yourself and sit up to wipe the camera off with the hem of your shirt. Laying back onto your pillows, you’re breathless, eyes heavy and breasts heaving as you giggle quietly at the lens. “I don’t know if you could tell, but that wasn’t supposed to happen. Maybe I’m not cut out for this camgirl life afterall.” 

You’ve got that shy look in your eyes again, and Hoseok only cleans his screen to get a better look at you. He’s still pumping himself, not completely drained and satisfied just yet. And though you look a bit fucked out, he can tell that you can definitely go for another round. But, you don’t. Instead, you brush the hair out of your face and pull your shirt down. He groans as your breasts disappear from view. 

“I-I think I’ve kept the neighbours up for long enough,” you nervously giggle before tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

Hoseok huffs, sitting back in his seat. Another couple of rounds won’t make a difference then, will it? He thinks to himself as you wish him well and hope you’ve done a good job. A breathy chuckle escapes him at your words. He can’t believe you could be this clueless to your own charms. It’s clear to him, as it would be to anyone else who would watch your lives if you were to make them, that you’re absolutely perfect. 

Glancing down at the throb between his legs, Hoseok finds himself hardening once again just from the thought of you. The last stilled image of you reaching back to turn the camera off, a clear shot to your breasts, nipple stud in full view, has him squirming in his seat a bit. 

From the yellow glow of your username, Hoseok knows that you’re still online. But with his cock still craving another round of your beauty, he decides against giving you an answer yet. He tells himself he needs to watch your video one more time. Or maybe even three. Just to be sure. 

After wiping his desk down from his last orgasm, Hoseok restarts the video. He pumps a bit more lube in his hand and smiles as you greet him through the camera. 

“Hi. I hope this is okay. I’ve never really done this before. You make it look so easy every night.”

You sit atop of the washing machine, your roommate, Minh, across from you. After how your night ended, you needed to wash your bedding. Upon hearing you mention leaving this morning, she decided it’s time to clean her laundry too and tagged along. You don’t really mind it. All you hope is that she doesn’t ask too many questions about why you’re washing your sheets earlier than usual. 

You knock your feet against the washer window and try to soothe the quick beats of your anxious heart while she reads peacefully. It’s been exactly four hours since you’ve sent him the video you took of yourself last night. You know he’s online. The golden glow of his name tells you as much anyways. You’re not sure if he has looked at your message though. Maybe he’s ignoring you, or worse. He’s blocked you. You swallow back a nervous lump in your throat at the thought and tell yourself that you’re being ridiculous. 

“Stop,” Minh sighs, looking up from her book. 

You still your legs, muttering a quiet apology. As she turns back to her book, you wonder if it was your mention of last night that’s thrown him off. He did look uncomfortable, most of the time lost in his own world. But, maybe he didn’t want anyone else to know that. Maybe the fact that you brought it up has turned him off. 

BUZZ!

Your heart nearly tumbles out of your chest at the sound. Hands darting to the phone, you quickly unlock it to look at your notifications. Your eyes light up when you see his username. Lips trembling, you tap the notification and wait anxiously for the app to load to his message. 

[from hopeonthescreen340] : i can’t imagine a moment of you like this being a bother

A little gasp escapes you at his response. You blink, once, twice, three times, trying to make sure that what you’re reading isn’t just some hopeful thinking you’re projecting simply because you find yourself completely and utterly infatuated by him. Reading the message over and over again, you try your best to fight off the smile playing on your lips. You know full well that you can’t come up with something witty to send back if you get all giddy. 

His comment is cute but you got an earful from Mrs. Jiwoo across the hall asking that you bring men over at an earlier time to get that over with sooner. Minh was completely confused, having spent the night out with a few friends. You had to later explain to her that Mrs. Jiwoo has no idea what she’s talking about. And though both conversations were mortifying, you’re somewhat relieved Mrs. Jiwoo didn’t think you were alone, getting off to some guy on a screen, and that Minh bought your excuse. 

[from hopeonthescreen340] : i think this site would crash if you started up your own livestream honey

The pet name has your knees knocking just as it did last night. You still can’t believe he said your username and spoke to you through his live. Sure, it resulted in some backlash, but having his attention like that was like nothing you’ve experienced before. 

Looking around, you make sure you haven’t caught Minh’s attention. She remains unbothered, flipping a page in her book. Glancing back down at your phone,  you let out a little giggle. Is this really happening? This guy must get tons of videos like the one you just sent, tons of people must throw themselves at him like you indirectly did. With that thought suddenly in mind, you wonder if he’s merely telling you all this to be nice. Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and is talking you up just to keep you away. 

[to hopeonthescreen340] : you really mean it? 

You type and delete the message a couple of times before finally sending it. Chewing on your lower lip, you watch the three floating bubbles wave as he types out his reply. Did that sound too desperate? Your fingers tremble over the keyboard again as you let out a shaky deep breath. No. You mentally assert. Why would he lie? If he wanted to get you off his back he would have ignored your messages, maybe even deleted them all too. He has nothing to gain from lying to you. 

[from hopeonthescreen340] : with all my heart

You bite back a giggle, in the middle of typing out a reply of gratitude when he sends another message that has you shaking again. 

[from hopeonthescreen340] : but i don’t think you should host a livestream

Defeated, disheartened, disillusioned, you scoff at your phone. Is he playing games? Is that what he’s up to right now? Slouching, you knit your brows and glare down at your screen. 

[to hopeonthescreen340] : thought you meant what you said?

[from hopeonthescreen340] : i did 

[from hopeonthescreen340] : i do

[from hopeonthescreen340] : youre just a little too innocent for this kind of scene

You shake your head, dryly chuckling in disbelief. What kind of backhanded compliment is that? Too innocent? Yes, maybe you were nervous in the beginning but you thought that the rest of the video was pretty good. Heart sinking, you can only stare down at your phone. 

How could you not see this coming? You sent your favourite camboy a video of yourself with only the best scenario in mind. How could you so easily disregard the possibility of being rejected like this? Running a hair through your hair, you type a quick, plain response. 

[to hopeonthescreen340] : k. thanks.

Putting your phone away, you turn back to laundry. With a ding, you hop off the machine with Minh and get to drying. The warm, freshly cleaned sheets will probably be the new highlight of your day. So the sooner you finish cleaning them, the quicker this day will go by. Or, at least that’s what you hope.

A tired sigh fills the living room as you switch the channel again. Snacking on some cherries, you’ve taken to eating your feelings away. You’ve already gone through two packs of blueberries and a pack of strawberries. Your lips are smeared with the cherry juice and fingernails stained red. 

As you change the channel once more, your mind wanders back to the messages. Maybe he’s right? Maybe you are too “innocent” or whatever to be a regular on a livestream. You roll your eyes at yourself, knowing that’s not what’s got you so tired of the day. 

The truth is you never really had your heart set on being a livestreamer. You know deep down all you really wanted was some more attention from an online crush. You wanted to feel beautiful to him, wanted to know he was losing himself to the thought of you. To have him crave you like you crave him was your real intention behind that video. And now that you know that’s not the case, you can’t help but feel riddled with regret and stupidity. You should’ve taken what you could, taken the use of your username as the flirty, casual comment it was meant to be. You took him out of the context of the live stream too soon, too quick. You’ve got your hopes up and all you have left to show for it is cherry lips and fingertips. 

The vibrating hum of your phone pulls you out of your thoughts. You grab a tissue and wipe as much of the fruit off your hands before picking up the phone. “Hello?”

“It’s busy here. I’m probably gonna be home late.”

You glance out the window, judging how dark it already is. The sun’s already setting, swirls of golden peach hues taking over the darkening sky. Minh’s not usually home before dark anyways, but you appreciate the call either way. “Alright. There’s some leftovers for you when you get here.”

“Great, I’m starved. Hey, did you check the mail?”

You bite on your lip to hold back a forgetful sigh. “Mhm,” you lie, slowly getting up from your spot. You tiptoe your way to the door and try to pick up your keys as quietly as possible. 

Minh must’ve heard the lie in the sudden high tone of your voice or the jingle of the keys because her scoldings soon followed. “I told you to check it four times before I left. It’s probably full now. You know I’m waiting on a package. How is it supposed to fit if mail from a week ago is still in there?” 

“I’m getting it right now. I promise!” you reassure. 

Minh sighs and mutters a “you better” before hanging up. 

You sigh and toss your phone on the table by the door, heading out to get Minh’s precious mail. You were going to suggest that she just pick it up on her way to the apartment once she’s off her shift, but the last time you did that, she scolded you for not doing your half of the chores. You figured it’s better to just go do it yourself. 

Lost in thought, you don’t realize you’ve left barefoot. And, to top that embarrassing realization, you also left behind a sweater, cardigan, something to cover yourself with as all you have on is a pastel yellow tank top and a pair of matching lounge shorts. Annoyed with yourself, you figure it's much easier to just quickly go grab your mail now instead of riding the elevator up and down. 

You pad the cold ground of the building’s lobby, rushing to the foyer before someone can see you. After fumbling with the keys for a couple of seconds, you finally find the right one and unlock your mailbox. 

“‘Scuse me,” a voice mutters to your left. 

You keep your eyes locked on your mail. For some reason, you figure that if you don’t make eye contact with the other tenant, then you’d face less embarrassment. So, you mumble an apology and side stepping to the right all while keeping your head low. Your plan seems foolproof until he quietly thanks you in a deep voice all too familiar to ignore. That lively tone laced in a tired voice tickles the curve of your spine, making you roll your shoulders back.

Curiosity always seems to get the best of you. Trailing your gaze up his frame, you think he doesn’t look that familiar until- 

“Oh god,” you whisper. 

He turns to face you, face dropping when he recognizes you as well. You bring your letters up to your face, shielding yourself from the shame and embarrassment of coming face to face with the man that subvertly rejected you online. Peeking above them, however, you can’t resist the urge to check him out. You tell yourself it’s to make sure it’s really him, but you know full well that you just want to get a good look at him. 

Loose grey sweatpants, baggy white shirt, black hair in its usual middle part, exposing just the right amount of forehead to get you wet from just one glance. Oh, and that little, silver hoop pierced into his nostril. It looks even more heavenly in person, as does he. Yeah, it’s definitely him. You can feel your heart taking residence in your throat as you meet his dazed gaze. 

“Oh my god,” you repeat to yourself in a whisper. Glancing between him and the key in his mailbox, you can’t believe he lives in the same building as you. You’ve been watching his videos for about six months now. Never had you seen him around your building before, not even a bump in the elevator. 

“Starfruit,” he mutters, sounding surprised himself.

For some reason, the nod to your username draws a little mewl out of you. Your eyes widen the moment you realize what you’ve just done. His brows shoot up, the tips of his ears tinting red. 

“I’m sorry,” you rush out. “I, um, I didn’t mean to do any of that.” 

His expression immediately softens, a little smirk gracing his lips as he scans your figure. You shift your weight from foot to foot, eyes averting to the mailboxes as his eyes lock on your hips, drinking in the way your shorts sit on your curves. You can feel his eyes soon trail up and linger on your breasts. You internally scold yourself for resting your shoulders back and puffing out your chest so he can get a better view. Even after all that’s transpired, you still can’t help but throw yourself at him. 

He doesn’t seem to mind that, however, shamelessly staring at how your cleavage peeks out of your pastel yellow tank top. Clearing his throat, he snaps his gaze back to your face as if just remembering that you’re watching him stare at you. “Uh, there’s no need to apologize,” he shrugs before turning to grab his mail too. 

“I didn’t know you lived-”

“Me either,” he cuts you off, biting his lip when he realizes what he did. He lets out a breathy chuckle and shakes his head. “Uh-”

“I wouldn’t have sent anything if I’d known,” you explain. Shutting your mailbox, you lock it once more and remove your key all while continuing to hold your mail over your face to hide your shame. 

His smile somewhat wavers as he tilts his head to get a better look at your face despite the presence of your mail in front of it. “Why?”

You clutch onto your keys, avoiding his gaze as you reply, “well, um, it’s just a bit embarrassing to send that kind of thing to someone in your building.”

“And it wouldn’t be to a stranger?”

You sigh and finally meet his eyes. “For all I knew, you were on the other side of the world. I didn’t risk much when you rejec-” You cut yourself off, clearing your throat. “It’s just different when it’s to a stranger.”

He shuts his mailbox too, dryly chuckling at you. He gives you one last once over, licking his lips, before walking past you. You furrow your brows, confused eyes following his tall frame back to the building’s lobby. You can’t help but wonder what the look was for. Did you say something wrong? Maybe that whole thing about strangers was offensive? 

“Wait,” you call after him, following his steps to the elevator.

He pushes the button then spares you a side glance as he shifts through his mail. You curl a loose strand of hair behind your ear, suddenly grabbing his attention. His eyes lock on the simple action, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows thickly. 

You hold your mail to your chest, letting out a little sigh, then muster the courage to say. “Look, I’m just sorry I sexualized you.” The honest confession has you gulping, looking at the floor in the hopes that it will open up and swallow you whole just to get you out of this humiliation fest you’ve got yourself lost in. “It’s just easier to feel less guilt about it through a stranger’s live stream rather than a neighbour’s.”

The elevator rings, signalling it’s arrival and you wait for him to make a move to enter. Only when he nods towards the door, urging you to go in first, do you step onto the elevator. 

“Floor?”

“Tenth,” you mutter, regretting every word you’ve spoken since running into him. 

He remains silent for a second before clearing his throat. Glancing at him, you raise a brow. “I sexualized myself, so there’s no need to blame yourself for anything. And, for the record, I’m not sorry about that video at all.” A blush creeps up his neck at his own confession. 

Licking your lips, you draw your bottom lip between your teeth, nervously nibbling on it. Not much of his reply makes sense. For one, it goes against whatever you thought he meant in his messages earlier today. You want to believe he rejected you since he already said that in so many words but his sincerity makes you question your interpretation. 

“So you actually…” you trail off, reading his expression carefully. “You actually liked the video?”

His entire face reddens. You’ve never seen him this shy before. He’s usually so cocky, so controlled. Not a lot can faze him. In fact, now that you think about it, you’ve never seen him fazed by any sexual things his viewers have commented. Yet, here he is. Looking flushed and, dare you even think, embarrassed, he shifts his weight from foot to foot. “It was amazing,” he whispers, looking over to you. “I watched it more than once actually.”

Your jaw falls, eyes widen. Is that why it took him so long to reply? The air in your lungs thickens as you realize that he probably got off to your video. The thought alone has you shivering in place with lustful pride. 

“Really?”

He nods.

“How many times?”

DING!

The elevator signals the floor arrival and it’s only now that you realize he only hit the button to the tenth floor. He nods for you to step out first and you obey, eyes aimlessly staring at the floor as you try to make sense of the fact that the two of you not only live in the same building, but on the same floor as well. 

With all that has come to light in the last few moments, you realize you can’t get lost in your worries anymore. Turning to face him, you offer a shy smile and say, “I’m-”

“Starfruit,” he finishes with a smirk. “I know.” 

You raise your brows in question. His grin only widens, lighting up the dim hallway like the rays of a morning sun. But it doesn’t distract you from wondering why he doesn’t want to know your real name. “I think ‘hope on the screen’ is a bit of a mouth full,” you joke.

He chuckles, looking to the side a bit before turning back to you. “What’s wrong, honey? Not used to having your mouth full?”

You freeze, breath hitching. Goosebumps prickle your skin as you try to settle your ramming heart with sad excuses that brush off his statement to be anything but sexual. However, with just one look at his smug features, you know full well that’s exactly what he meant.

“Not usually by a name, no.”

Lust clouds his eyes.  He sets his jaw, gaze hardening. Quirking a brow, he asks, “Is that right?” When you nod, he sighs. “Just Hope will do then.”

“Hopie,” you somewhat slur with a smile. 

A little smirk tugs on his lips and he nods. “Sure, Hobi is fine.” 

You don’t bother correcting him, liking his version of the name better anyways. For a moment, you both stand inches apart, staring at each other. He then suddenly blinks and clears his throat. Looking down the right side of the hall, he bites his lip and turns back to face you. You pick up on his hint to go your separate ways and nod, walking ahead of him back to your own apartment. You’re convinced this will be your first and last meeting, in which he will call you Starfruit everytime he sees you and you will reply with Hobi and convince yourself that you’re okay with that. However, his footsteps only follow after you.

You make it to your door before turning to face him. He stops an arm’s length away, features clueless and eyes confused. 

“Looking for an invite to come in?” you tease, hoping to fluster him. 

“You offering one?” he smirks. 

Mouth gaping, you look between him and the door. How is it that you’re the one flustered? That was not the plan. Hobi’s smirk only widens. You suddenly wonder if he’s bluffing, that cocky look starting to irritate your wettening core.

You turn to your door, unlock it then push it open. Leaning your back against the doorframe, you reply, “You tell me.” 

Hobi swipes his tongue between the gaps of his teeth, eyes darkening once more. “You sure about this, Starfruit?” He asks as he takes a step closer. 

“What’s not to be sure about?” You question. “I’m just inviting a neighbour over for a drink. It’s an innocent offer. Wouldn’t you agree, Hobi?”

A low growl tears through his throat before he dips his head and catches your lips in his. You kiss him back with very little hesitance. His lips taste of lemon and cream, sweet and citrusy like he just had dessert. Moaning into his mouth, you hear his mail spill in your apartment somewhere to your left. He then grabs the stack of letters in your hands and repeats the same action, tossing the mail into your apartment. 

His hands are free to roam around your body but immediately settle on your ass. Hips pinning you against the doorframe, Hobi grabs handfuls of each asscheek. Groaning and groping, he doesn’t miss a chance to make you wetter than you already feel yourself getting. 

You don’t hesitate to get your hands on him either. Clutching onto his shoulders, you chase after his lips as he pulls away. Nudging you back with his nose, Hobi then dips his face in the crook of your neck. His tongue darts out, hot breath fanning over your goosebump prickled skin. Warm and wet, his tongue swirls around your collarbone then up to your jawline. Meanwhile, his greedy hands are working fast to pull your shorts to the side, exposing your panty-less pussy.

You don’t give him a chance to see that, wanting him to feel it instead. You spread your legs and hold his thigh between them. Pressing your clit to his dampening sweatpants, you roll your hips onto his leg. 

Hobi stills for a second, only just pulling his face away from yours to watch your body move against his. A giddy grin plays on his lips, his hands returning to your ass to help guide your thrusts against him. 

You wrap your arms around his neck and rest your forehead against his cheek. Never did you think you’d find yourself in this position. Last night, you imagined him fucking you against the wall to get yourself off, but never pictured that wall to be in the hallway. Standing in the middle of your doorway, one foot in the apartment and the other out, the two of you risk being caught in a compromising position by the entire floor. And yet, neither of you seem to care. With his body so close that his heat warms you, you find very little interest in anything else. His racing heart against yours and that excited gleam in his eyes is all you can focus on. He looks a bit happier than he did last night and that alone has you moving your hips a bit faster against him.

“Mhm, honey,” he hums before pressing his lips against your forehead. “Just like that.”

To unknowing eyes, the two of you might look like a long time couple, horny and adventurous in your intimate endeavours just from the way he holds and expresses his interest in you. You even find yourself indulging in that daydream for a second, giving into your delusions and pretending that Hobi is your boyfriend and the two of you are that adventurous couple. Whines leave you as he digs his fingers into your ass. It somewhat pulls you out of that daydream. 

His grip then circles around to your hips, stilling your thrusts and holding your against the doorframe. He flashes a cocky smile at your sad mewls from the loss of friction. “Don’t pout,” he whispers. You further draw your bottom lip and test his grip on your hips as you try to continue your movements. 

Hobi chuckles darkly, tightening his hold on you. “I know you’re needy, honey,” he purrs. “But if you don’t behave soon, you won’t get to cum at all. Do I make myself clear?” He questions before licking your pout away. 

It takes everything in you not to squirm. His voice is enough to make you needy, but his words make you desperate. You nod and pull your bottom lip into your mouth, sucking on the strip of saliva his tongue left behind. Hobi raises a brow at your actions. Gathering some spit in his mouth, he mutters, “pout,” then drops the stringy liquid over your lips. Some of it slides down your chin to your neck but, once he’s done, you part your lips. And as you drink in his saliva, Hobi licks up the trail of spit from your cleavage to your chin. He places a wet kiss to your lips once he reaches them.

Pulling away, he peppers your cheeks with soft kisses while one of his hands tugs the hem of your shorts aside once more. The cool air hits your wet folds. You whine against him and try to fight against the hold on your hips against. The longer he delays getting to your clit, the needier you get.

“Patience, Starfruit,” he mumbles against your cheek. 

The soft pad of his thumb brushes up against the short hair upon your pussy a couple of times, filling the pit of your stomach with a growing restless desire to just be filled and fucked. He’s teasing because he can, because he loves the way you squirm against his hold and pout for his tongue. You know this; he knows this. Catching the other’s eye, both of you share a knowing smile. 

Holding your gaze, his thumb finally nudges its way between your folds and grazes your swollen bud. You instantly shudder, breasts heaving from the excitement. He smirks, dragging his thumb back and forth on your clit as he watches you slowly come undone. 

His head lowers again, lips latching onto your neck. He nibbles and sucks on your skin. You can only tangle your fingers in his hair and moan. As your eyes flutter shut, Hobi fully removes his right hand from your hip, and devotes it to your pussy. He runs two long, slender fingers between your folds, instantly drenching them, and chuckles against your neck, “what’s got you this wet, Starfruit?”

A gasp escapes you as he circles his fingers around your clit. Your mind’s a foggy mess, focused only on his pretty face and how easily his fingers can have you shaking. There’s not much attention spared on anything else, so you answer with the first thing that comes to mind. Eyes hooded, you reply, “Just a little hope.” 

He likes it- loves it, fingers slipping into your pussy in an instant. A growl rumbles upon your skin in the process and you can’t fight the shivers that dance along your spine. You whimper his name, resting your forehead on his shoulder. The hand previously holding your hips still wraps around your waist. He’s somewhat cradling you against his chest as his fingers unforgivingly thrust in and out of you. Movements harsh but touches so gentle; Hobi is a god of duality. Just another fact you can’t deny.

Your orgasm knots in the pit of your stomach, only just satisfying that boundless crave for him. His body is all but pressed against yours. Cheek to cheek, your lips are merely inches away from his ear, while his kisses yours. You untangle your fingers from his hair, gently tugging on it as you do just because you can, and you wrap your arms around his shoulder in a tight, desperate embrace. Still, you need more of him, need him closer, so you hook a leg around his waist too. 

Hobi growls a chuckle against the shell of your ear as he gives into your silent, needy request and slides his hand from your waist to your ass. He lands a light spank, as if testing your limits, drawing a loud squeal out of you. 

“F-fuck,” you whine. “Again?” you ask, pushing your ass back into his hand. “Please! Pl-ease, Hobi.”

He groans, whispering, “Already begging, honey?” 

Before you can reply, he spanks you again. The smack is harder, clap louder and you can’t help but match the volume of your moans to it. Your pussy tightens, hips roll uncontrollably against his fingers. You're reaching your peak; the both of you can feel it. Hobi grips onto your ass, and it’s only now that you also realize you’re clinging onto him not just because you want him, but to keep from falling. Your knees have gone weak awhile ago, but you were so enthralled by the pleasure to fully register it. 

You’re squealing, screeching your moans against his shoulder with every wet slouch that echoes from your core. “Oh, god! Yes, yes, yes, Hobi! I’m- I’m-”

His little eager chuckles, the kind where his voice rumbles into your ear and echoes within your soul, are the force that push you off the edge… until the door across the hall opens. 

Mrs. Jiwoo screams at the pornographic sight in front of her. You quickly shoot a hand to his wrist, holding it still in you the moment you realize you’ve provoked an audience. Though you’ve kept his hand still from the embarrassment your mind’s telling you you’re supposed to have, your hips continue their lifts against his hand. The act of getting caught has you shaking with the wash of a harsh orgasm that you can’t seem to stop yourself. Hobi peppers your face with kisses, unfazed by the interruption as well. Within seconds, you flood his fingers with your release. 

The older woman is beside herself. She rushes back into her apartment as you throw your head back and moan a giggle of delight. “When I said during the day, this is not what I meant!” She shouts from the other side of the door. 

You don’t care. You can barely even hear her with how powerful your high hits you. Your ears feel as though they’re submerged underwater, mind fogging with light-headedness and body shuddering as it struggles to stay upright. 

“You fucking slut,” Hobi seethes, gently sinking his teething into your neck. 

You whimper in response, hips jolting in an attempt to escape the overstimulation of his ruthless fingers pushing in and out of you.  

“That got you off, huh slut? Getting caught by the neighbours?”

“Maybe I’m not as innocent as you think.”

The growl that echoes in his chest is enough to make you cum a bit more. And the fact that you know that response wasn’t what he was expecting has a smile playing on your trembling lips. A few strands of his hair fall over his eyes as he scans your face. He looks as though he’s trying to place you, confused by your words and actions. A smile suddenly stretches upon his lips, that tongue of his cockily pushing out.

You can’t quite think straight with his fingers still deep in you, holding still while your hips jolt against his hands. But, if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he’s amused, perhaps even obsessed with the way you discard your inhibitions for him. The reality of the matter is, that if any other partner had wanted you against the doorframe of your apartment, fingering you in the hall for all to see, you wouldn’t have allowed it. But Hobi is different. He provokes recklessness and abandons fears so effortlessly that you can’t help but follow.

Fingers withdrawing from your pussy and into your mouth, Hobi lifts your ass so that your bodies are completely flushed against each other. You suck without much of a command, quietly mewling at the taste of yourself on his fingers. You try to hold his gaze, but his eyes travel to something over your shoulder. He smirks as he guides you inside, the grip on your ass strengthening. Curious as to what’s got him so possessive, you spare a quick glance over your shoulder. Another set of neighbours, Jin and Jimin, stare at the two of you, jaws slack and eyes wide. When you meet their gaze, Jimin quickly looks away, fumbling with his keys then struggling  to unlock the door. But Jin only continues to stare, his eyes dropping down to Hobi’s fingers digging into the plump flesh of your ass. 

An embarrassed squeal escapes you before Hobi pulls your attention away from the guys by curling his fingers in your mouth and tugging your jaw towards him. His eyes darken, face hovering inches away from yours, but all you register is the bulging veins in his neck. Kicking the door close, he whispers, “I don't share, Starfruit.”

Ceasing all sharp suckling and swirls of your tongue, you freeze at his words. His eyes soften and  flash with worry, fingers uncurl and withdraw from your mouth. He parts his lips to speak but you only smash yours against his and clutch onto his thick biceps. He kisses back in an instant, cupping the underside of your asscheeks to give them a good shake. He seems to have some sort of infatuation with your ass. His hands have barely wandered far from your backside, as at least one hand has been groping and gripping it. You smirk against his lips and arch your back so that your ass further pushes into his palm. He smacks it, tongue attacking yours all the while. 

He breaks the kiss to ask against your lips, “bedroom?”

You moan in response and push him back in the general direction you think your room is in. You don’t realize you’ve terribly misjudged your placement in the room until you push him into the door. He grunts upon impact, pulling his lips from yours with a little laugh. You nervously giggle with him, convinced he’s going to tease you, maybe even open the door again and give all peering eyes an encore, but instead he smiles and leads you down the hall. 

Bodies collided, all you can do is move with him, timidly peppering his chin with little kisses. For some reason, you only feel shy in his presence when he’s not overtaken by lust. It makes the interaction more real when he just flashes that bright smile at you and continues to hold you close against him. Lips dragging under his chin, teeth grazing the soft skin, you take a moment to admire his beauty up close. The camera doesn’t do him justice. He glows. Skin, smile, eyes, everything about him gleams, glitters, glistens of beauty. And when lacking a dose of lust, his features shine into something pure. You can’t quite tether the purity to a source, and you aren’t granted the time to as he finds your bedroom. 

In mere seconds, that bright sunshine gleam in his eyes flashes into a dark moonlight glow. He’s lust driven, sex crazed. And suddenly you’re no exception. Following his every silent command, you let him shove you onto your bed. You land with a soft grunt, fumbling with your skirt. He’s so eager to be all over you, he doesn’t even take a moment to flick on your lights. No, Hobi has different plans. His infatuation with you and that video seem to go to lengths you didn’t think were possible. 

“Turn on those lights from last night,” he orders while making his way over to the curtains and draws them shut. 

You furrow your brows. “Why?”

“Why not, Starfruit?” 

He must know the effect of using your screen name, must see the way you chew on your lips and absentmindedly puff your breasts out. In that fruity voice of his, he really can coax you in and out of your thoughts.

Hobi pulls his shirt off as he makes his way over to you. Gulping, you take a moment to admire his tan torso. You’ve been thinking about it since his last live, thinking about scratching your nails down his chest then cat-licking the faint marks up. You wonder if he’d let you do that now. 

But, as he crawls onto your bed, his eyes flash a silent warning to do as you’re told. You lean back and switch on the twinkling starlights tangled around your room. The quiet room mirrors the production you set up for him last night, once again reflecting the ambiance of a midnight showing. Despite the sunset peachy swirls, Hobi has recreated the set for your video. Actually, with the presence of his grey sweatpants and the little yellow outfit you have on, he has somehow merged your two videos together, transporting the two of you into your own private live stream setting. 

“I don’t suppose you’d want me in lace too?” you tease as his lean body hovers over your curves. 

He breathes a chuckle, placing a soft kiss over your lips before replying, “I don’t want you in anything at all.”

Your legs have a mind of their own, adjusting apart to give him some room to lay between them.  Your trembling breath fans over his lips, hesitant hands rest on his bare shoulders. He picks up on your anxiety and nudges his nose against yours, the cool edge of that hoop piercing refreshing your skin. 

Delicately, he whispers, “Lemme know if it’s too much, Starfruit. It’s never too late to change your mind.”

His reassurance is enough to have you arching your body into his.  Based on the concern swimming in his eyes, you can tell that he’s waiting for some verbal confirmation. But you, instead, put your mouth into different use. As his tongue reappears to graze the gaps of his teeth, a brow raising in question, you catch it. Hooking your tongue around his, you pull it into your mouth and hollow your cheeks. His eyes widen with every suck, warm breath heating your face as it fans over you. A chuckle or two escapes him as he watches you hold his gaze shamelessly while playing with his tongue in ways you’ve only ever thought of. 

Hobi drops to his elbows, arms on either side of your head, and presses his body against yours. The shift of his position further pushes his tongue into your mouth. Your previous sucking fest turns into a wet, sloppy makeout session. He rolls his clothed hips into yours with each swirl of his tongue, groaning as you mewl from the subtle friction. 

He seems to be losing patience, breaking the sloppy kiss, a string of saliva connecting your tongues, to trail kisses down your neck. You think he’s going to stop in the dip of your collarbone, but he doesn’t. Instead, he leads the sloppy trail of kisses down your cleavage. Before you can even register it, Hobi has his teeth locked on the neckband of your tank top. He pulls it down to expose your breasts. Locking eyes, you find something animalistic swimming within his gaze. Unbounded, uncontrolled, it seems as though every minute spent with you has unleashed yet another layer of primal lust ready to take over every inch of you. Never have you seen such passion in those eyes before, even on his best days, his best lives. You start to wonder if maybe it’s the presence of another that has him all worked up.

Hobi lures you out of your thoughts as he leans back and rests his weight back up on his hands again. Looking down at you, he admires your chest. His eyes bounce between your pierced and bare nipples, as if deciding which one he’s in the mood for. You take a deep breath and arch your back to push your breasts up towards him, urging him to just pick one already and devour you. 

A little breathy chuckle escapes him once he picks up on your hints. The pad of his thumb brushes over your pierced nipple. Slow, quiet, steady. He remains still, lost in thought before his eyes find yours again. That primal instinct that was previously unleashed has somewhat tamed itself. A little smile tugs on a corner of his lip, dimples only just visible. 

Something endearing lies behind his eyes. Something… pure. You lay flat on the bed again as you stare up at him. Quirking a brow, you silently question his motionless frame. He doesn’t answer, doesn’t even seem to notice your subtle change of expression. He simply stares, admires. 

“Hobi?”

Your quiet voice lulls him back to you. He blinks, shakes his head then snaps his gaze back down to your chest, that little smile of his widening. Before you can question him again, both his hands cup your breasts. You gasp a moan, pushing your chest up against him again. 

Hobi just pushes you back down. He squeezes your tits together then dips his head between them. His wet lips push their way through only to blow and vibrate. He blubbers, babbles, saliva drenching your tits as he shakes his head between them. 

Never has a man been so obsessed, memorized by your body enough to motorboat you. Most of the time, your interaction with others lasts shorter than this. But here Hobi lays, shoving his face between your breasts. He’s infatuated with you enough to take his time. 

Moaning, rolling your hips up into his, you close your eyes and enjoy his little treat. Your hands slide from his shoulders to his back, hugging him closer to you. You feel that sinful tongue of his dart out again, licking a trail up to your pierced nipple only to envelop it in his mouth. Hands lost in his hair, you push his face further against you. You know full well that he can’t get any closer, but you try anyways. 

His teeth graze the silver stud, a quiet clatter of metal on teeth meeting your ears. Hobi looks up at you, holding your gaze, and gently tugs on your hardened nipple. In a pout, you mewl at the sight, the stinging, blissful sensation. A smirk graces his lips when he lets go. 

“You sound so fucking cute,” he chuckles, dipping his head to give your nipple a little kiss. 

He’s sweet and kind and you want to get lost in his eyes and honey voice. But, with his bulge rubbing against your shorts, all you can think about is how well he’d fit in your mouth. Using your feet, you push his sweatpants down his frame. 

Hobi chuckles under his breath before helping you out a bit and kicking his pants off. He dips his head back to your breasts, this time focusing his attention on your bare nipple. He gives it the same treat as the studded one, licking, sucking, nibbling. Mid tug, he trails a hand down your body, resting it upon your drenched center and asks, “when are these coming off?”

“When I get to suck you off.”

Your words leave you fast, unexpectedly. You’ve never been this unaware of yourself, uncomposed. Even in your most submissive moments, you’ve maintained a certain amount of control. However, with Hobi, it’s almost as though all that control becomes his. 

He quirks a brow up at you, releasing your nipple. Scanning your features, he judges how serious you are. With your chest heaving and gaze unwavering, he seems to conclude that you really mean it. 

“Want me to come up there?”

You fight off a smile and shake your head. Nudging his shoulder, you have him fall beside you, laying on his back. “I’ll come down to you,” you tell him as you sit on your knees and push your shorts off.

Hobi’s brows shoot up at your actions. He chews on his lips, eyes devouring every exposed inch of you. As his hand rests on your ass, gently rubbing it, you let your gaze traill down his chest to his tall, thick cock. It’s bigger than you thought it was. You know he’s big after watching his live streams, but you didn’t think he’d be this massive. Vein laced, precum smeared, pink tipped, his huge cock begs for your attention. You gulp now wondering if he’d fit in your mouth at all.

“You don’t have to,” Hobi whispers. You snap your gaze to his and you can see the concern that swims in his eyes. Is he worried that he won’t fit or that he’ll hurt you? 

Licking your lips, you collect any drool about to fall from the sight of his dick and shake your head. “No, I really want to.” Your tone is steady but voice breathless. Pressing your legs together, you can’t fight your need for him any longer. Without much thought, you throw your leg over his chest, straddling his torso as you position yourself in front of his dick. 

A gasp meets your wet folds and you freeze for a second, thinking that you may have acted out of pure greed. You’re about to move off him when his hands smack down on your thighs and slide up to your ass. He pushes your plump cheeks up and digs his fingertips into your little dimples. As you cat-lick his precum oozing tip, he runs the bridge of his nose through your folds. 

You moan loudly, his bold move provoking you to engulf his tip and then some into your mouth. Your tongue swirls around him and it’s only now that you realize, with your tongue sliding and looping around him, how thick he really is. It only makes you want more of him.

While you attempt to shove in another inch or two down your throat, Hobi laps his tongue over your pussy, favouring your clit over your entrance. After flicking it with the tip of his tongue, he purses his lips around your clit and sucks harshly. 

Through a gag, you moan around his length. Only half of him is lodged in your throat, and you thought you might be ready to take a bit more until he began to focus all his energy on your clit. You shudder against his lips. Closing your eyes, you try to recompose yourself. You have a job to do as well and you know you won't be able to do it right if all you focus on is how well he can work his mouth. Taking in a deep breath through your nose, you continue your bobs up and down his length, working your hand on the last few inches you haven’t found the courage to shove in your mouth yet. 

Hobi can’t seem to keep his volume down. Every one of your harsh sucks and slurps has him crumbling into more of a moaning mess. Your jaw aches, eyes water but you work through it, living for every moan and groan that vibrates over your needy core. And though he continues to play around with your clit, the sounds you've sucked out of him have sprinkled a bit of hesitance in his approach. His previously sharp licks and suctions over your pussy have somewhat stuttered the faster your bounce your head up and down his length. 

He composes himself quicker than you do, however. Tongue poking in and out of your entrance, his thumb slides over to your clit and rubs hard circles around it. You squeal, choking on his cock at the sudden switch. However, that’s not what forces you to pull him out of your mouth. That thumb of his drenches itself in your juices and trails up the curve of your ass to smear your juices all over your asshole. As his mouth returns to your clit, he pushes his thumb into your ass, making you pull his cock out and throw our head back. 

You’re so lost in that new wave of pleasure, all attention on his cock falters. You grip onto his thighs and grind your hips into his mouth. Hobi smirks, but he’s not happy with your actions. His free hand comes down on your ass as a silent warning. You want to take it as such but with his thumb moving in and out of you and his mouth sucking on your clit, you can’t find it in you to do anything else but whine and push your weight down on his face. 

Hobi growls against your wetness, teeth grazing your bud. Your eyes widen, and a loud moan pours out of you. He breaths a chuckle over your clit all while continuing to nibble on it. Lips still pressed against your aching heat, he questions, “who the fuck told you to stop?”

You wrap a hand back around cock, pumping him at a fast pace. Still, Hobi doesn’t think it’s enough. He withdraws his thumb from your ass and takes to fingering your instead. With two fingers thrusting in and out of you again, his mouth is free to latch onto your asshole. He licks and pokes his tongue in and out your tiniest hole while your body shakes over his. 

“Suck my dick, slut,” he orders with a growl, spanking you just to grab and grope you all over again. 

You don’t dare disobey a direct order. Wrapping your lips around his length, you immediately pick up where you left off and shove his thick cock down your throat. Ignoring every gag instinct, every urge to pull him out and take a proper breath before taking him in again. But, when he’s shaking his face between your cheeks, swirling his tongue around your hole and pushing his fingers in and out of you at an incomprehensible pace, you can’t focus, let alone think, about anything else. His cock falls out of your mouth once more. You don’t want to disappoint him, but how can he expect you to do anything when he’s making you feel so good? 

“Oh my god!” You scream. Sitting up on his face, you all but force him to take his fingers out of you and relatch his lips over your folds once more. You ride his face as your orgasm nears, a variety of curses pouring out of you in desperate moans. “Ahh, fuck yes! H-Hobi!”

He groans in response, smacking his pussy slick hands over your ass. He grips onto your supple flesh, pushing your ass up to get a better hold on your pussy. 

Your hips jolt over his mouth, eyes roll back. There’s not much more you can take. Body quaking, you warn, “I’m go-nna cum!”

“Do it!” Hobi rasps, sounding hungry and deprived. 

Your jaw falls open, high pitched moans tumbling out as your release gushes into his mouth. Hobi flattens his tongue and lets you ride his face. You circle your hips around his face, mewling and whining as you grind out your orgasm. Hearing Hobi’s slurps and laps over your pussy only makes your body shudder and jolt all the more. 

His mouth suddenly escapes your needy hips. You huff a whine, looking over your shoulder at him. Hobi has his jaw pushed out and lips purses like he’s holding onto something in his mouth. You furrow your brows, about to question him when he pushes your body into the bed between his legs. 

Sitting up, Hobi leers over your ass while you’re left in suspense with your face buried in the sheets. He pulls your cheeks apart and drops a warm, thick dollop of saliva mixed cum. He uses his forefinger to rub it around your hole, catching any leaking streaks that rush back to your pussy. You shudder as a string of mewls muffles into the bed.

“Where’s your vibrator?”

You turn your head to the side, smushing your cheek into the mattress instead and ask, “Which one?” 

Hobi chuckles at your words. As he pushes his finger into your ass, he replies, “How many do you have?”

Gasping from the blissful sensation, you try to focus on the question. You only really have two. The yellow star-shaped one and that dildo you use when you really need a good fucking. But judging by the tone of his voice, he seems to be expecting a lot. You chew on your lip and debate on inflating that number. But what will you do if he asks to see them all? 

 “I-I’m not sure.”

“Take a guess.”

You pause. Balling the sheets into your hands, you swallow thickly. You know you should just be honest, but after that mediocre blow-job, you don’t think you can handle disappointing him any further. Still, it’s better and safer to tell the truth. Besides, you know full well that you can’t lie to him. It would break your heart more than his. 

“Just two,” you finally reply. “They’re at the table by the bed, first drawer.”

Hobi places a sweet kiss on each cheek before he shifts a bit behind you. The drawer opens and closes, Hobi shifting back in place again. “Is there something wrong with having just two?” He asks as he runs the curved edges of the star vibrator up and down your folds. 

Your pussy quivers at the sensation, hips greedily grinding against it. So needy for more, one would think you didn’t just cum a minute ago. “You tell me,” you whisper. After swallowing your moans, you ask, “Doesn’t two seem innocent?”

The toy stops mid stroke and you stiffen up with it. Maybe you’ve taken the comment too far, but you can’t deny the gnawing voice in your heart telling you he’s just here for a quick fuck. You’ve raised your hopes up too high, romanticized him too often not to take what he had said to heart. Chewing on your lip, you wonder if you should apologize for your tone and suggest to just continue all this without another word. You’re about to voice your idea when you feel his lips on your curves of your ass again, the wet toy moving once more. 

“There’s nothing wrong with a little innocence, Starfruit,” he mutters against your cheek. Trailing that toy up to your asshole, he grazes his teeth over your cheek and says, “It’s what makes you so sweet.”

As his teeth nibble on your skin, you quietly whine into the bed. Hobi holds you in place as you squirm, sensing your impatience to be played with again. “Deep breath,” he mutters against the curve of your ass. 

You inhale deeply and brace yourself for what you think might be coming next. Hearing your intake, and catching the way your shoulders rise, Hobi pushes the wet toy into your tight hole. There’s a bit of resistance, as you're not used to more than two fingers in there usually. However, the toy enters just fine. It stretches you so fucking well, making your left eye twitch the way it always does when you’ve reached pure bliss. 

“Besides,” Hobi suddenly continues. He shifts under you again, reaching back into the drawer. “You’re hardly innocent around me.”

The star buzzes to life in you. You gasp and sit up as your body shudders from the sudden jolt of pleasure. From your new position, you feel his tip poke at your clit and you can’t stop the squeal that escapes you then. Hobi wraps his arms around your waist, kissing the curve of your spine and igniting your lust frenzied nerves.  

“I gotta be in you, honey,” he mutters between kisses. 

“Yes, please.”

With a chuckle, Hobi nuzzles his face into your back. The gesture is so sincere, so casual that for a second you let yourself believe this is a usual occurrence. You let yourself believe that you and Hobi always find each other like this because you’re dating. You let yourself indulge in the fantasy that you belong to Hobi and he belongs to you. The second comes and goes, but you’re still left with his warm breath fanning on your back and sweet kisses trailing up your spine.

Hobi lifts your leg, muttering, “Under mine.” He positions both calves under his thigh and sits you on his lower stomach. His hands retreat off your body and you shiver from the loss of warmth his touch always brings. 

You look over your shoulder, curious, and find him lying on his back with his arms crossed behind his head. He’s eyes lock on your ass. He admires it, studies it’s curves and the way it sits on his abdomen. Meeting your gaze, Hobi smirks. 

“Make it clap for me.”

The request has you breathless. It sparks the memory of your question all those moments ago, before things go so hot and heavy. How many times? How many times did he watch that video? 

With a shy smile, you turn back around and lean forward, resting your hands on the mattress between his legs. You take a deep breath then shake your ass, the claps subsequently following. Hobi groans behind you. You moan in response. The slow buzzes of the vibrator only heighten the act of shaking your ass over his abs. 

With that extra little treat for you, you feel a bit guilty. He’d been showering you with attention and affection. He’s made you cum twice already and all you’ve offered was a sloppy blowjob you couldn’t even follow through with. You want to give him that little extra bit of attention he never forgets to offer you. Ceasing you movements for a second, earning a light spank to continue, you lift your hips.

“I don’t remember you asking for my cock, Starfruit.” His tone is heavy with authority. It only makes it harder to ignore him. “And I sure as hell don’t remember telling you to stop.”

Another smack lands on your ass. This one is harder, stronger and you whimper at the warning. You can’t bear to ignore him any longer, knowing his patience will soon run out. “I just wanted to try something, Hobi.”

He grunts, but doesn’t say much more. You take this as approval to continue and sit your ass just before his cock, pussy resting on his heavy balls. His hands find your hips again, but they don’t grope you like they usually do. Instead, they simply rest there. You interpret this as a precautionary measure, in case you try anything without permission again. 

“Do you wanna watch it clap?”

Hobi hums in reponses, thumbs gently rubbing your skin. Leaning forward again, you push your ass back so his cock slips between your cheeks. The gasp that escapes him fills your chest with pride. A smile plays on your lips and you shake your ass once more, cheeks now clapping around his length. 

“Innocent, my ass,” you giggle. 

Hobi fills the room with that dark chuckle of his. You can hear the amusement of the joke and pleasure of the display from the tone of his voice. He smacks his hands down on your cheeks, helping them move fast around his cock. 

“Fucking slut,” he hisses as he tightens his grip. His hips suddenly jolt upwards causing you to almost fall over his lap. Hobi catches you before you slip off his lap, however, and holds you back in place. 

He huffs and hisses, moans and groans. You’re sure he’s about to cum, can even feel his cock twitching, but he stops you just before he lets himself go. “I just need to be inside you.” 

The desperation in his voice has you giggling. Hobi spanks the laughter out of you, grumbling, “Behave or you won’t cum for the rest of the night.”

You bite back a whine. Shyly looking over your shoulder, you find that wild urge resurface in his gaze again. He must’ve been really close to cumming. Hobi catches your gaze, a wicked smirk tugging on his lips. He reaches for the vibrator’s remote and turns the intensity up. You whimper and pull on the sheets in front of you. 

Lifting your hips, you nod at his warning and turn back around. You are met with your reflection from the full-length mirror by your closet. It’s parallel to your bed so you can see yourself sink down on Hobi’s massive cock and watch as well as feel your pussy stretch so fucking well from his girth. “H-Hobi,” you squeal as he guides your hips further down his shaft. 

“Hoseok,” he corrects. 

You cease all movement, already halfway down his length. The vibrator is still humming loudly in you, only just distracting you from what you’ve just heard. Did he just tell you his real name? He’d been so adamant on keeping it to himself, even refusing to know yours. Yet, here he lies. With his hands secured on your hips and cock ruining you for all other men, perhaps even toys, he tells you his name. 

“Is it too much?” He suddenly asks while adjusting his hold on your hips. 

You shake your head, breathlessly muttering, “No, it’s perfect.” 

It’s not until he’s guiding you back down on him do you realize he was talking about his cock. You suck in a breath and wait until you’ve completely taken in him before whimpering your name. He grips onto your hips tighter and growls. The reaction is enough to fill you with worry. You fear he may not have wanted to know your name, that he only wanted you to scream his. 

“(Y/N)”

His moans carry on as you circle your hips around his cock. Each syllable of your name sounds more desperate and greedy than the last. And when you finally switch to bouncing, ass clapping down on his thighs in loud smacks, he growls your name. Over and over again, you’re dripping off the tip of his tongue. All he thinks about is you, all he says is you, all he sees is you. 

Ass in bliss, pussy in pleasure, your body meets heaven and your mind overflows with everything Hoseok. You can’t get enough of him or the way he utters your name in that fruity, lively voice of his. 

You think this is all the pleasure you need when he sits himself up. He rests his chin on your shoulder, one hand sliding down from your hips to rub your clit while the other slides up. You catch his gaze in the reflection and offer a shy smile before you feel him yank your tank top down once more and expose your breasts. 

Bouncing uncontrollably, your tits are all his attention can focus on now. He doesn’t even make a move to grope one of them, too consumed by the way they move to disturb their rhythm. The mere sight of him continuously being mesmerized by you only brings you closer to your high. Your pussy tightens around him again and you can’t ignore the twitch of his cock this time. You giggle at his reflection, drawing his attention away from your tits. 

“You’re ready to cum again, Starfruit?” 

The smirk he wears is just as deadly as the size of his cock. 

You crumble beneath it, whimpering a tiny, “Yes, please, Hobi.”

He kisses your shoulder and nods, as if giving you the approval to cum whenever. Your eyes roll back, moans intensify and body seems to be losing all composure for the third time tonight. You screw your eyes shut, feeling your orgasm nearing but Hoseok replaces his kisses for a little bite on your shoulder. Gasping a moan, you snap your eyes open and meet his gaze once more. 

“Look at me,” he orders in a hushed tone. “I want you to look at me when you cum.”

You expected to find that untamed animalistic look in his eyes, or maybe even a barrier of distance to remind you that this is just a one time thing. Instead, you find affection. Within those lust-blown pupils, you find that glowing sunshine-like sparkle of sincerity. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. 

Just like that, while holding his gaze and getting lost in his eyes, your ograsm overtakes the entirety of your body. Grounding your ass into hips, you shudder, whimper and tear your sheets out from under his legs. You’ve lost the ability to hold that honest gaze of his and completely shatter from the force of your orgasm. Mind whirling, ears ringing, you feel like the wind has got knocked out of you too. Seeing stars, you can’t think straight. All you can feel is him. 

And while you’re losing yourself, gushing and convulsing all over him, Hoseok continues to rub harsh circles around your clit and rolls his hips up into yours. He further gets himself off all while helping you ride out your high as well. He groans in your ear as it rings and finally takes to groping your breast again. He grabs at anything, wanting to feel all of you as his dick twitches once more. With your warm cum coating his cock, Hoseok can’t hold himself back any longer. He locks his arms around your waist, holds you still over his hips and releases a heavy load of his cum. 

“(Y/N)” he growls as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. 

You lean your head back against his shoulder. Eyes closed, mouth pouring moans, you revel in the ropes of cum he shoots in you. He fills you up all too well that you know you’ll cry if this is a first and last time occurrence. Your pussy quivers from the nonstop friction, that vibrator in your ass not doing you any favours to slow the process of overstimulation. You tell yourself that the moment Hoseok is done, you’re going to demand that he take that vibrator out and give you a moment to collect yourself before even thinking about another round. 

But then he nuzzles his face into your skin and you melt into his frame. You feel him inhale your scent and smile against you. Biting your lip, you force yourself to endure another moment or two of overstimulation if it means he can stay this happy for a little bit longer. 

“Ah, shit,” he suddenly mutters into the nape of your neck. “You alright, honey?”

You open your eyes and find him staring at your fucked out reflection with a look of concern. Meekly, you nod but he doesn’t buy it. He unwraps his arms around you and pushes your body forward. You whine and whimper, wanting to fight against it since that angle seems to give a whole new wave of pleasure you’re certain you cannot handle right now. 

“Bend over, honey,” he chuckles. “Trust me.”

You moan out of frustration, your ass starting to become just as sensitive to the touch as your pussy is. Still, you know you can trust him, and bend over. “Careful.”

Hoseok kisses your asscheek and mutters, “always,” before gently tugging on the yellow rubber line to pull the star out. He sighs at whatever sight rests in front of him, but you’re all too consumed with recovering from such a hard orgasm. The ringing in your ears has barely stopped and you keep telling yourself that if you keep taking deep breaths you just might be about to settle your heart down and regain your sense of sound. 

The buzzing suddenly ceases, a little clatter on your night table momentarily filling the silence. Hoseok then slowly pushes your hips off his softening cock, rubbing your ass in hopes of soothing all those little mewls that leave you. 

He then gasps and you can already tell that you won’t like what comes out of his mouth next. 

“I know you’re sensitive,” he starts. You whine, already knowing where this is leading. “But, you need to get cleaned up somehow.”

You shudder and grip onto the sheets as a precaution. The ringing in your ears has somewhat settled, but you don’t get comfortable with that fact just yet. After a long whine, you ask, “How do you want me?”

Hoseok breaths a chuckle and you hear him pat a spot next to him. Heaving, you look over your shoulder at the vacant space beside him. You sigh and crawl over there, lying on your back and spreading your legs immediately. Hoseok runs a hands down your torso, watching as you make yourself comfortable on the bed. The two of you work around each other like this is a nightly routine, and you’re not mad about that. 

Once you’re settled, he positions himself between your legs and dips his head down to your pussy. You close your legs around his face in an instant, the sensitivity being too much to handle too soon. Hoseok doesn’t care; he works through it. He laps and licks up every part of your mixed cum. Soon, however, his hands get a hold of your thighs and he pulls them apart. He shakes his head as he devours your pussy once more and you find yourself having to tug on his hair to get him off you. 

“Hoseok, pl-please!” You whine, attempting to close your legs once more. 

Unlatching his lips from your overstimulated pussy with a little wet pop, he sits up and smirks down at your fucked out state. You bring your legs together, cross your ankles and pull your knees into your chest as the last remnants of your orgasm shudders through you. 

The bed dips beside you. Hoseok makes himself comfortable. He lies next to you, chest heaving and eyes locked on the ceiling. And once you feel your orgasm finally pass through, you unfold yourself. Your nakedness has never been more apparent to you until now. With lustful desires trickling away, all that remains is the bareness of your bodies and the hovering reality of your emotions.

You shift your weight and pull your comforter over your curves, quickly shielding yourself before he can look over and get another look at you. You freeze all over when he spares you a glance, curious as to what you’re doing. It’s like you didn't just spend the better part of an hour or so screaming his name. 

Hoseok smirks, gaze wandering down your covered frame anyways. His eyes don’t need to undress you, knowing exactly what you look like from what angle, yet they still do. He finds your gaze again, breath stabilizing, and mimics your actions. Shifting to get under the sheets, Hoseok asks, “Are you okay?”

The question stunts you. Actually, the fact that he’s still here and not halfway through getting dressed stunts you. You can only stare at him for a moment, your ears regaining full ability and chest ceasing its full rises and falls. 

He furrows his brows. Taking your silence as avoidance from the truth, he says, “You can tell me if I hurt you. I’m sorr-”

“Aren’t you leaving?” Your question sounds colder than intended. And the fact that you cut him off to ask it, is not doing you any favours. 

Hoseok can only stare back at you, speechless. He chews on his lip and scoffs a dry sigh before you quickly correct your intentions. 

“Not that I want you to leave.” A brow of his quirks in interest. “It’s just… I thought that’s what you’d want to do.”

He must see the fear in your eyes, must hear the earnest plea to stay in your voice as he shifts closer to you and tucks an arm under your head. You scoot closer to him too, sweaty bodies colliding once more. Your arms draped over the other’s waist, you pull each other closer. His breath fans over your hot face and you slowly trail your gaze up from his neck to his eyes. 

Lips less than an inch apart, Hoseok mutters, “If it’s up to me, neither one of us would ever leave.” He nudges your nose with his, brushing that hoop piercing against your skin.

Your hand slides up to his face, caressing his cheek while your thumb rubs his chin. You want to tell him you feel the same way, that you’d want to be in any moment as long as he’s there with you. But, he seems to read that in your eyes, in the way you hold his gaze shamelessly and flash that shy smile. 

Your lips are so close now, you’re exchanging breaths, but he doesn’t kiss you yet. Instead he whispers, “Thirteen.”

You knit your brows as confusion riddles your face. 

“You asked how many times I’ve watched your video; thirteen.”

Thirteen. Your mind struggles to comprehend that reality, eyes searching his face for signs of dishonesty. You only find genuineness and a hint of admiration in his eyes and the way he says, “Starfruit; (Y/N).”

“You couldn’t have gotten off that many times,” you scoff.

“I didn’t.” 

Your nerves jolt into another heartwarming frenzy as your body freezes over with realization. It’s never been about just sex, it’s never been about cameras and live streams. It’s only ever been about finding the one on the screen, finding the hope you’ve been searching for every time either one of you logs on and scrolls through comments.

“I just came back from an errand. Jin wanted cake and Jimin was too tired to get out.” He suddenly starts, pulling you out of your thoughts. You pause for a moment, realizing that Jin and Jimin have a third roommate. “I was about to go inside when I saw you walk out of your apartment. I honestly couldn’t believe it was you. But I knew it the moment I saw those yellow shorts.”

Your breath hitches and he smiles. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You walked so fast,” he chuckles. “And by the time I figured out what I wanted to say, you were already on the elevator. I was honestly about to just go back inside and forget the entire thing. I even opened the door. I couldn’t go in, though. I just needed to see you one last time.” 

He pauses to press a gentle kiss on the corner of your lips. You flutter your eyes shut, melting into his existence. He continues, “I ran down the stairs, hoping to catch you before you left. When I saw you checking the mail, I'm not sure what came over me. I pretended to be doing the same thing. I didn’t think you’d be that embarrassed about the video.”

Slowly, you open your eyes and meet his apologetic gaze. Heart swooning, you let out a shaky breath and confess in a quiet mutter, “I don’t want to be a camgirl.”

“What?”

“I sent you that video because I wanted you to notice me again. And you’ve been looking so sad and tired during your lives, I just wanted to cheer you up a bit.” 

Hoseok stares, brows knitted, lips parted. You open your mouth to apologize when he presses his lips to yours, engulfing you in a whirlwind of soft gold emotions. You drink in every breath, curling your tongue around his. 

“I lied about you being innocent.”

You blink. 

“Well, you are innocent but that’s not the reason why I told you not to live stream. I just wanted to keep you to myself.”

“I’m not very happy with the idea of sharing you either.”

“I really like your ass.”

You pause. Your war of confessions hovers over your tangled bodies but all you can do is laugh at his words. He can’t hold back the laughter bubbling from his chest either, and you feel the sweet rumble of his chuckles before you hear them. He gingerly leans in for another kiss but it seems to be more teeth than lips as you two try to laugh through the kiss. 

The hand resting on your waist trails down to your ass, rubbing gentle circles around it as your laughter trickles out. You kiss him again, properly and with little tongue so you can focus on the way his lips move against yours. 

When he pulls away, he shares his last confession. “I hate streaming.”

You bite back a gasp, chewing on your lips. He takes this as a sign to continue. “I mean, I used to love it. It just seems like more work than it’s worth now. And I want moments like this more often.”

“You’re quitting,” you whisper in realization. 

He nods. 

You hum, nodding along as everything begins to make sense. You conclude that he must’ve felt this way for a while and that’s why there was a sudden shift in his demeanour. 

Pushing his hair back, you softly kiss his cheek and mutter against his skin, “I started watching for Hobi. But, I sent that video to Hoseok.”

Bodies flushed, Hoseok shudders against you. Eyes flutter shut, hearts beat in sync, and as you drift further into this daydream, you hear the lingering words he breathes into your hair. 

“You’re an angel, (Y/N). Sweeter than Starfruit.”

note; please do not leave hate towards me or any other readers. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my work without my permission. 

[rosesbxrry-main]

//Fushiguro Megumi

Warnings: NSFW, somnophilia, implied cockwarming, masturbation, sniffing, cursing 

Characters: Fushiguro Megumi X Fem!reader 

[Date: 2 March 2021] 

Megumi walks into the dark and quiet space of the apartment; having just come back from another assignment on dealing a bunch of curses. He's been out of town for a week straight which he was not used to.

Undressing his jacket, Megumi carefully enters the bedroom he shares with you. Seeing your sleeping figure under the blanket causes his face to relax. His plan was to quickly take a shower and join you in bed for the night.

The sound of sheets rustling and you mumbling causes the male to halt his movement. The last thing he needs is to disturb your sleep. He watched you tentatively, your body that was laying facing away moved to rest on your back.

You mutter something under your breath before staying stilled. Megumi only let out a sigh of relief after confirming that you were still in slumber; chest moving up and down in a steady rhythm.

He eyed your sleeping face; a small smile ease its way on his face at your tranquil profile. His sight wanders to your body, going lower and lower, before his eyes widen.

Your lower body was covered with the blanket before you shifted so he didn’t realize that you were dressed in just a black shirt and red lace silk panties.

Your legs were bare before him, the exposed skin reminds him how much he craves the warmth and touch of it against his own. The embroidery of your tight panties fit your shape from your waist to your ass; the sight of it was erotic to his eyes.

Gulping down nervously, he slowly approaches you at the side of the bed. He has to admit, being away from you for that long did cause him to feel a bit lonely but he didn’t expect it to turn into sexual frustration. Judging by your face, he knows that you're tired as well; being a jujutsu sorcerer yourself.

But the heat pooling in his guts tells him satisfying himself later in the shower was not enough to eliminate the desire he was feeling but, at the same time, he doesn’t want to wake you up just to please him. He feels too guilty to do that.

So he finds himself tugging on the belt of his pants, pulling it down and steadily climbing on the bed- standing on his knees between your legs, looking down at your clothed cunt. Just a bit, he thought, just enough to calm down before he finished it off later by himself.

He needed something of you to get off later.

Glancing back to make sure you were still asleep, he dipped down his head to hover over your clothed pussy. He took a deep breath before rubbing his nose and lips against your heat. It was nice and warm; he could feel the humidity radiating through the thin fabric of the panties.

The smell of your juices invades his senses and he was quick to feel his arousal heightening from just the scent.  

Megumi closed his eyes to rub his face slowly across your cunt. Although there was a piece of clothing separating himself from your heat, he could imagine nibbling and licking on your folds. Imagining the feeling of your wet slick dripping down his chin as he eats you out sends an electrifying pleasure straight to his cock.

He straightens up and looks down, his dick now hard and erect; tightening itself against his boxers. His hands move to facepalm himself- cheeks flush in embarrassment.

God- he looks like some kind of pervert getting off of you while you were asleep and getting hard from just sniffing your heat.  

He moved to release his dick from the confinement of his boxers, a hand lightly gripping on the length. The vines were protruding out, head red begging for release as pre cum starts to dribble out of the slit. Megumi starts to pump himself- his pace slow and steady, watching your lips fall apart from sleeping.

Fuck does he wish those lips were on his dick right now.

The only light illuminating the room was the lamp on the table beside you, giving him a good view of your body to him. He could feel the pre cum coating his length as he started to quicken his pace, feeling his hands getting wetter. His eyes wander to your breast.

With the absence of the blanket, the cool night air must have made you shudder. He could see your tits perking up behind your shirt, the sight of your pair of nubs mocking him. He wants to tug it, bite it, suck it- imagining himself abusing your pretty little tits until your cry from the sensitivity.

“nghhh....shit...mmhhhm”

He could feel his length throbbing against his palm; begging him to release. But he still needs a little bit more to edge him- to climax. Megumi turns his gaze to your clothed pussy. the memories of your walls engulfing him in a tight embrace- rubbing him every time he rams into you. He could feel your nails digging on the skin of his back, moaning for him to go deeper, faster.

He could still feel the heat of you pussy like yesterday. You felt so tight- so good with his dick stuff into your pretty little hole, streams of moan and his name like music to his ears. Shit, he could fuck you for hours without getting enough of you.

The reminiscent of those feelings was enough to push him to climax. With back arch and head bent backward, he closes his eyes with mouth agape; letting out a frustrated moan as he has to keep his mouth shut to not wake you up. Hot strings of his cum shot out against his other hand, his palm already ready to shield his seeds from dirtying you.

His hand that was gripping his length was slowing down- still milking out every ounce of his cum and pleasure.

It took him a full minute to calm down.

He stares down at his palm coated in white; sighing in disappointment and embarrassment before deciding to head to the bathroom quietly to clean himself up before you wake up.

“Megumi?”

Every fiber of his body froze at the sound of you calling out his name. Panic surged through him as he stared at you; eyes open and already awake, looking back at him still laying down.

Shit shit shit

Explain himself? Clear up the misunderstanding? He is literally in between your legs, dick out still wet and palm dripping with his seed. It was pretty clear what he was doing.

“How long were you awake?”

“When you started sniffing me”

“........”

He felt his soul leaving his body at that moment. God, he should have just dealt with it in the shower and waited for the next day to save himself from this situation from happening. But now, he has been caught red handed.

“Look, I-“

“-Aren’t you going to continue?”

The words die down in his mouth; eyes widen at your words. He stared down at you and examined your face. He could tell your gaze was trembling, face slightly flush and breathing unsteady.

“Do you want to? It’s late now, better to get some sleep” He asks you gently, knowing how tiring dealing with curses everyday can be mentally and physically.

“But I want to.......” Your words caught him off guard. Something stirred in him watching you mutually wanting the same thing as him. Maybe...the stress of being away from him has the same effect as him being away from you and now- the sexual tension thickens in the air. 

With a final verdict, Megumi proceeds to undress himself out of his shirt, putting his weight slightly on top of you; hands caging you at the shoulder, feeling the mattress dip down as he puts the rest of his weight on his palm.

“Sorry, I’ll be a little rough” he whispered closer to you, eyes staring back at yours intensively. A hand silently moving to pull up your shirt, releasing your breast with a bounce “bare with me”

You let out a moan as he dips down to take a nub between his lips. His wet tongue swirls the perk nub, coating it with his saliva before suckling it with a bit of force. His hand took care of the other nub, pulling and pinching at it.

The motion causes a wave of pleasure surging through your body to your core. You arch your back as Megumi began to grope and lick harder at your breast.

“Me...gu...mi...” The moan you let out was shaky, fingers lacing through his spiky black hair.

You watch his lips go lower; leaving a trail of saliva as he licks from your torso to the navel of your stomach before finally reaching your panties. He glances back at you, eyelash long and visible thanks to the lamp illuminating his features.

There was something about looking down at him, his face close to your hip bone- teeth biting at the edge of your panties asking for assurance. You nodded back at him as you watched him pull the clothing away from your heat.

You can feel the cool air between your crotch; his hands finding their way to spread your legs wider and position it so that your knees are up.

“You're so wet” He hummed, watching as you squirm when he traced the lips of your pussy with his fingers. You grip onto the sheets and bit back a moan, feeling his finger rubbing your wet folds.

“Could it be-“ Megumi question, spreading your folds to enjoy the view of your juices dripping down. He chuckled at your reaction, your knees buckling at the pleasure as he played with your cunt.

“-Did you get turn on by me masturbating in front of you?”

You blush at his question but it only serves as a confirmation to him. You push his chest lightly with your foot, causing him to smirk at your pouty face. 

“I’m not the one who was rubbing and sniffing at someone’s underwear while they were asleep” 

Megumi grabs onto the ankle of your foot on his chest; positioning it to rest on his shoulder as he moves down to your core. He could have a clear view of your wet pussy; puffy and warm ready to be devoured by his lips. 

“I guess both of us are perverts to each other” He declared before you felt his lips on your heat. Megumi moved his tongue to lick between your folds; making sure to slightly suck on the skin which he knew would drive you crazy.

Moans and mewls escape your lips with tears threatening at the corner of your eyes. It felt so good to feel him eating you out, the sensation of it transforming you into a mess; toes curling at the overwhelming amount of pleasure

Megumi continues to lick and suck on your folds, taking his time to indulge himself while drinking you up. The sound of him slurping you up echoes together with the sweet sound of your moans. He could feel your thighs tremble against him.

He detaches his mouth from your heat, a string of your juice can be seen at the corner of his lips. 

“I’m gonna put it in now, okay?” 

You watch him grip onto his length, rubbing it against your folds before his head slowly enters your hole. The stretch was uncomfortable at first; your walls trying to adjust his length pushing to expand your hole. 

He leaned down closer to you as he slowly pushed his cock into you; his face twisted at the amount of warmth and how tight your hole was rubbing against his length with every movement. You wrap your arms around his shoulder, pulling him closer to your chest until he is fully in you.

“Megumi, start moving. I can’t wait any longer” You begged against his ears, causing the male to groan. He began to thrust into you, the sound of wet noses filled the room as his pace started to pick up.

“Shit, your so fucking tight. You feel so good clutching onto my dick. Fuck- your so warm. So good taking me in” 

 His thrust speeds up, feeling your walls throbbing against his length. You could only think of his hips moving into yours, the feeling of his dick ramming into you so roughly.

“You're so big Megumi. I can feel you reaching my womb. Faster Megumi, I want your seed inside me, filling me up” 

A growl erupted from his throat. The way you dirty talk was making him feel more aroused, ramming into you with no mercy; hearing you moan and scream his name in pleasure. God, how can you be so sexy and erotic begging him to cum inside you? 

The both you can hear the mattress squeaking as Megumi’s thrust moves in a godly speed, feeling his skin slapping against yours. Each shove reaching your sweet spot leading you into a drooling mess. The heat of his body against yours was overwhelming but you grip tighter; feeling your orgasm getting closer.

With one last harsh thrust, the both of you come undone. Orgasms wash over every inch of your body like a tidal wave. He could feel you tighten up against him as his cum filled you up, the excess fluid dripping out of your hole and deliciously pooling on the sheets.  

The heat in his gut was no longer there. The one week of missing you has escaped just like that after connecting with you. 

You hold each other’s sweaty bodies, shuddering and trembling from the overwhelming orgasm. You let your fingers wander to his back, tracing the muscle in a soothing motion. He could feel your breathing under him, the intimacy between the both you relaxing him. 

“Can we stay like this?” He nuzzled his nose against the junction of your neck, taking in your sweet scent that reminds him of home. He was still in you but no sensual intention was behind his question; only meant to hold you close against him lovingly. 

You pat his head, a small smile of endearment on your lips. 

“Of course you can” 

[shreddedleopard]

Thoughts on chapter 137, and why it makes complete sense and cements the themes and lessons of Attack on Titan.

I have so many thoughts, I just want to word vomit them out at a million miles an hour, but I’ll try to do this in some sort of order and not my usual chaotic mess.

Attack on Titan is about family and belonging, and THIS is the dream that Ymir was drunk on. This is ‘that scenery.’

Ymir, the founder, just wants to belong somewhere. With someone. She wants to be loved and valued as a person, not as a slave; not as someone who merely fulfils a role. In the latest chapter, Zeke explains how he failed to understand her, but Eren did.

Look at Eren’s words to Ymir in this moment, several chapters earlier:

All Ymir has ever wanted is to be held. To be loved like a person. To feel that connection because of who she is, not the role she fulfils.

Eren understands this, in contrast to Zeke, who once again tries to impose her role upon her:

Ymir has been hanging around in paths all this time, unable to fully die and let her consciousness pass on to the next world, because she needs to find this thing that she’s been searching for since the start of the story.

It’s not just about romantic love. It’s about connection. That sense of being understood and belonging with someone else, whether that be romantically, platonically, as family ... we keep seeing the same theme brought up throughout the entire manga.

Who else is a character that constantly searches for the same thing? Mikasa.

She has so many parallels and yet also opposites with Ymir. Ymir is told she is a slave, she obeys the king, that is her role. And she accepts it. Because she believes that it’s the only way to find happiness; to find this belonging she’s been craving. However, unlike Ymir, who does not truly love the king, I believe that Mikasa does truly love Eren - what form that takes doesn’t necessarily matter to me at this point. It’s just about connection.

Whether Eren feels the same, tragically for him, doesn’t matter. Because Eren knows he is destined to be the one to end the cycle of hatred and free Ymir. And that will ultimately cost him his life. That is why, when Zeke asks him what he will do about Mikas’s affections - which have nothing to do with her bloodline and everything to do with him - Eren cannot answer. That choice has sadly been taken from him.

When Eren asks Mikasa what she is to him, I think he genuinely wants to know at that point. I think he cares about her so deeply and wants to know she feels the same way, and it’s not just about him being ‘her saviour’. But as we’ve seen before, Eren cannot afford to stop for too long and dwell in the moment, because he must push on towards freedom - the freedom of Ymir and the Eldian people from the curse of the Titans.

This brings his conversation around the table with Armin, Mikasa and Gabi into a whole new light. Eren insults his friends in an attempt to push them away from him - because he knows he won’t be around to live that ‘long, happy life’ with them. So instead, he wants to push them to confront their feelings in the arms of others. He pushes Armin to really consider what Annie means to him, and for Mikasa, I believe that Eren intends her to perhaps look towards Jean, who is truly willing to give her the love she has always sought from Eren. Because again, so tragically, Eren will not be around to provide that for her - regardless of whether it’s something he wants or not. His own wishes no longer matter on the path he has been set upon.

Back to Ymir. Eren tells her, he will put an end to this world:

He doesn’t mean the human world; the living world. He means the world of paths, where Ymir is trapped, unable to let go of the souls of dead Eldians, because she’s still searching for that connection she craves so much. Her paths world is an attempt to quell that feeling of loneliness she’s been plagued with, but ironically, she’s more lonely than ever, stuck there, serving the bloodline she’s created from a place of misery and duty, rather than love.

The rumbling and the destruction of Marley is a very tragic consequence of what Eren has to do to put an end to the curse of the Titans. He’s searched for another way to no avail; we’ve seen his remorse when he apologises to Halil or Ramsey in chapter 131:

I think the anger and devastation that’s unleashed in the rumbling, is a result of the hurt and mistreatment both Eren and Ymir have felt at points in their lives.

Eren understands that to destroy the paths realm, first this devastation is necessary, because he’s seen it in his future memories, despite the conflicting feelings it’s evoked from him - he doesn’t really want to destroy humanity outside of the walls, but his own future is telling him that he must and he will. But it’s not Eren’s emotions that drive this initial destruction - it is Ymir’s. These emotions are no different in nature than the ones that Eren felt in response to Armin’s childhood bullies - that sense of unfairness and need to lash out at oppressors - but tragically, unlike Eren who in that moment of intense, irrational emotion had only his fists to vent and release, Ymir is in possession of one of the most terrible and destructive weapons there is - hordes of colossal Titans. And in that moment where Eren finally gives her that validation she has been searching for, and allows her that feeling of release from the duty she’s felt she needed to fulfil for thousands of years, Ymir releases that frustration and anger too and sends them walking.

This theme of the oppressor and oppressed switching places in an endless cycle of revenge and stealing from others what has been stolen from you is a theme that we see repeated throughout not only the AOT manga, but also soundtrack and additional content too.

Eren was right that it would be Armin that saves humanity - because Armin is the one that makes the connection in paths - he understands what is being shown to him with the leaf - and tragically, it actually highlights how, even up until the very end, Eren and Armin knew each other very well. Eren trusted Armin to make sense of what he’s had to do - even if it’s only Ymir that he understands, because while Eren is the one to give Ymir her freedom and unleash this terrible devastation, Armin is the one who must stop it.

But how does this idea of family and connection tie in to the rest of the events in the chapter, and wider manga, and what’s up with Historia’s pregnancy? And how is paths going to be destroyed, if the rumbling has been stopped and Ymir is free, but the Titans are still around?

This is where the rest of our cast fit in - namely Zeke, Levi, Historia and Reiner. If my theory is correct.

Eren gave Ymir the validation she needed and that sense of connection, freeing her from her role, and this bought that final bit of time needed for Historia to give birth to her child. Why is Historia’s child important? Because it is the ‘new dawn’ we’ve seen foreshadowed repeatedly throughout the series. The birth of a new history. And this comes in the form of a new bloodline, no longer infected with ‘parasite’ of the founding Titan.

Unlike Ymir’s bloodline, which stemmed from a place of duty and slavery - as she was ordered by the king to take ‘his seed’, and carried the parasite of the creature that bound to her within the depths of the tree, creating the paths realm and an almost purgatory type space free of death or heaven or earth or anything, Historia’s bloodline will be ‘cleaned’ because of the genes of the child’s father. And not only this, it will be born out of a moment of love and connection, rather than duty. This new combination will make it impossible for a child of the royal bloodline to become a Titan. There will be no coordinate - no link for Ymir from her paths realm to the living world, because the last link to her bloodline - a Titan with royal blood - will no longer exist.

This really brings home the gravity of the moment where Levi cuts Zeke down - he’s the last of the royal Titans, but the reader knows Historia’s baby is about to be born - will they inherit the Titan, and the cycle will re-start?

They will not. The cycle will be broken with them, because - and here’s where it gets wild - Historia’s child is not a Fritz, or a Reiss - they are an Ackerman. They physically cannot turn.

Why does all this fit in symbolically? Let me draw your attention to the genre of Seikaikei.

Attack on Titan uses this idea with our two Ackermans.

We have both endings. Eren and Mikasa, our bittersweet ending, where Eren ultimately chooses the fate of humanity over his relationships with Mikasa and Armin, and Levi, who, in a moment of selfishness, allows himself to put aside his role for a night - probably at the railroad banquet, where he was supposed to be making sure the likes of Eren and Yelena were kept apart - and indulges in this connection that he’s formed with Historia. You can read my 10 reasons post if you want to for why the heck I would think these two would form a deep bond - it’s all there in the Uprising Arc. They have been the same as Ymir - yearning for a sense of love and connection, but bound by roles neither of them asked for or particularly wanted - reluctant heroes comes to mind. Remember how freckled Ymir’s parting wish was for Historia to live for herself?

The result is an accidental pregnancy which, ironically enough, is what is going to annihilate the curse of the Titans and save the world. How poetic that the Titans will not be ‘driven out’ by hate, violence, and destruction, but instead by love, connection and new life.

Remember Kenny and Uri’s miracle?

Kenny and Uri’s chapter, ‘Friends’, was exactly halfway back into the manga. History moves in repeating cycles in AOT, and we see things change slightly each time, on this journey to freedom. At this point, the Ackermans and royals were one step away from where they needed to get to in order to build this paradise - and Levi and Historia complete the cycle by becoming ‘lovers,’ tragically, the thing that Eren and Mikasa could not become, because Eren had to undertake the rumbling and be the one to free Ymir from her sorrow and loneliness. She can make the choice now - will she fight to be reborn as Historia’s child - fight for dominance with the Ackerman bloodline - or will she concede, finally laid to rest because the cycle has been broken by two people that love one another, just like the couple Ymir saw long ago and wished for.

Remember how Eren asked Zeke whether the ackermans act the way they do from a place of duty or genuine feelings? He needed to check it was the real deal that would break the curse, and finally lay Ymir to rest peacefully, after 2,000 years of hatred and searching. She will see that her descendant, Historia, finally has what she always dreamed of. That idea of dreams pushing us onwards - Ymir’s dream is realised through Historia and Levi.

As for the parasite itself? I believe Reiner will be the one to lock it in a Crystal prison with himself, deep underground.

A new dawn will come, and a new world will be built from the ashes of the old.

[arigatouiris]

an inconvenient crush // kenma kozume x reader (1/2)

Author’s Note: A new story?? SO SOON?? Thank you for all the love for my previous Kuroo story, it meant the world to me. I write for myself primarily, yes, but it brings me SO MUCH JOY to know that my words reach you. It helps with the motivation to put them out more often. Thank you. This story is very close to my heart because I’m a gamer, although I don’t stream. I’m more like Kenma though, personality wise. Haha.

Word count: 5k+

Pairing: YouTuber! Kenma Kozume x Streamer! Reader

Summary: YouTuber Kozume Kenma has had the biggest crush on Twitch Streamer, (s/n) (y/n), who in actuality simps heavily after Kenma's secret YouTube persona, puddinghead0.

What happens when their paths cross?

Kuroo is honestly tired of Kenma's second-guessing, and (y/n) is a bit of a crackhead.

Warnings: unrequited love, one-sided crush, slight angst, pining, crackhead reader, internet bullying, slang, gaming references, haikyuu manga spoilers, fluff

C h a p t e r O n e : puddinghead0

Kozume Kenma suddenly turned existential when his eyes shifted to his phone screen for the 12th time in ten minutes.

Was he always doing this? Was he always obsessed with his phone to a point where he'd constantly check for notifications? Did this mean he was deeply lonely on the inside and wanted approval from people on a virtual platform, which meant that the approval was also virtual and none of it was real? Did it mean that he craved to nullify the growing void in his chest by distracting himself with a black mirror that showcased light that could permanently impair his sight?

He let out a breath and forced himself not to look at his phone. He didn't care. It didn't matter. That's what he always said.

    "Hey!" His classmate/room-mate screamed from the entrance to his flat, "Are you watching her stream? Posted two minutes ago!"

His phone was definitely slow. He had been checking his phone but there was no notification. Letting out a breath, and giving himself a mental reason to actually check his phone, Kenma opened the notifications tab to see the one notification he had kept his eye out for had been buried under ridiculous facebook notifs.

An inconvenient crush, that's what he told himself whenever he looked at you. You were a streamer, a bit different from what he did on YouTube because you were primarily on Twitch. There were reaction videos of you on YouTube, which was where he found you, but damn—how could one be pretty while rage-quitting a game? It was abnormal. Nothing about you was normal; college student/Twitch streamer, an apparent baker in your mother's bakery, game reviewer for Sony, and you were insanely cute.

    "She's getting to that part," his roommate commented from behind Kenma's back, while Kenma really just wanted to watch the video in peace, "Shit, she's gonna cry."

You did cry, quite a few times, and too easily if he could add. You cried at the ending of God of War, you cried to The Last of Us (which made sense, but you were perhaps just bawling throughout the entire game), you cried in a game called Detroit: Become Human, you cried far too easily, but you never really quit. He loved how passionate you were about games, and it was the sort of passion he could completely understand.

    "Oh shit," You said in the video, your eyes scanning all over the game screen, "What's happening? What's happening?"

Kenma chuckled at how cute you were, god, you were killing him. You looked worried, and he could visibly see a sweat drop on your forehead, but you were so focused that it didn't matter. Suddenly, there was a screaming sound from the game you were playing, and your eyes popped open as wide as they possibly could and you just sat there, unmoving. He loved how you never squealed or made any loud reactions, except when you were in a fight with a difficult boss, but whenever something traumatic happened, you just froze and sunk it all in. You were currently playing the second part of The Last of Us, and a traumatic scene was definitely happening. Kenma had just finished playing it the night before, so every scene you were playing was familiar.

    "I officially hate this game," You said, your voice breaking and he desperately wanted to hold you, "Fucking hell."

    "God, she's amazing." Kenma's roommate said, eyes turning into literal hearts.

    "Hm." Yeah, she is, Kenma thought, but could never really say.

As a YouTuber himself who streams games, he was aware that you were not as popular, and it was a fact that he really didn't like. Sure, you were on a less popular platform, but Twitch was incredibly popular by itself as well. He also understood the bias that came with being a female gamer, and while it sounded ridiculous to him, Kenma was one of those people who believed gaming required no gender.

He adored your content, and he secretly adored the hell out of you, so seeing you soar would only make him happy.

    "I... I can practically feel what pain she's feeling right now," You spoke about the game, a lone tear threatening to leak out of your eye, "But! We shall persevere. I've been waiting 7 years for this game, so I won't let... won't let something like this halt my interest. Let's see if this has a point to it all."

God, he adored you. But, Kenma considered it an inconvenient crush because of course, the world was small. The first big crush he has on someone and he hoped it would remain over the internet, but it just had to become something more tangible, something that could make him weak in the knees.

You, a college student/Twitch streamer, an apparent baker in your mother's bakery, a game reviewer for Sony, insanely cute, and also happened to be one of his YouTube channel's biggest fans.

He had only recently discovered your personal twitter handle, and dear lord, you were simping after him with no remorse. It wasn't as if he was all you talked about, but he had also noticed the trajectory of the games you were playing were on par with his own timeline. Kenma had finished his final stream for The Last of Us II just the night before and you had now started playing it. Right before that, it was Bloodborne, and before that, it was Final Fantasy VII Remake. However, your public handle was a lot more professional and despite knowing that it was there, he hadn't sent you a follow request because well, Kenma called himself an introvert in every matter but Kuroo just said he was shy.

While he knew that he could easily approach you and have you know he knew of your existence, Kenma preferred not to get into such detail. It was comfortable admiring you from afar, and it was comfortable being where he was—he had his company to work hard over, he was also a computer student and a YouTuber. Sure, he had his hands full especially after calling you abnormal for something that he himself was doing, but he never really fit into a bracket anyway. Kenma's latent obsession with you was something he wasn't particularly proud of and this wasn't because it had anything to do with you, but simply because he didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Change, in many ways, scared him. And by changing the structure or dynamics of him admiring you in secret, while you admired him not so secretly, Kenma was certain that it might not lead where he may have wanted it to go.

Surely, Kuroo was against this sort of caution, calling it cowardly and saying it lacked passion; but Kenma knew it was just a crush. There was no way he could deduce the kind of person you were based on how you gamed or reacted to games, based on the little tid-bits of information you gave out while playing those games, or even how you openly spoke about how much you admired 'puddinghead0's videos. Kenma hated Kuroo for giving him that name, but he was too lazy to come up with a new one.

    "Also," You sprung up in the final two minutes of your latest video, "I'm on Patreon, now! I honestly have no idea how it works, but if you really like the content I make and want to support me, you can become a patron and wish me luck!"

Kenma waited for his stupid roommate to go out of his room before he could open Patreon and find your link, which was thankfully in the description. Without a second thought, he donated to your profile but cussed instantly when he realized what he had done.

He had sent you a donation as himself, as 'puddinghead0's Patreon.

Without a second thought, Kenma called Kuroo and explained what had happened.

    "That is why, Kenma, you need to check a thousand times and not let blind love navigate your actions—"

    "If I knew you were going to spout such nonsense I wouldn't have called you."

He could hear Kuroo snicker while he ran a hand through his hair. Kenma groaned before Kuroo said, "How bad is this, Kenma? She'll be happy. Of course, this means she'll know you watch her content, but how bad can this be?"

    "I didn't want her to know."

    "And leave her devoid of the happiness of having her idol appreciate her content? You're cold, Kenma."

    "You don't understand. What if... What if she tries to contact me?"

    "You, my friend, have not even shared your personal account anywhere. The only way she can contact you is by commenting on your videos, which I am sure you check constantly to see if she did comment, or Tweeting, which she does every three days."

Kenma blushed at the accusation because it was true.

    "She won't know who you are. Besides, there's no harm if she even does contact you! Just tell her casually that yeah, you like her contact. I don't see what the big deal is."

    "Of course you don't—"

    "Oh, she's tweeted something."

Kenma's entire body froze. Leaving Kuroo on the call, Kenma opened Twitter on his laptop and there it was, your latest tweet.

I am trying NOT to freak out over puddinghead sending me a donation on Patreon, pls save my soul, I am dead.

Kenma groaned before hearing Kuroo laugh once more, "She's adorable!"

I know that, Kenma thought before feeling his entire face flash up. Ending Kuroo's call, Kenma looked at your public profile before then moving to your personal one. He wasn't following that one either, but he wanted to see your tweets, he wanted to know more about you—he wouldn't deny any of these facts, but Kenma believed it was far too idiotic to dream of getting to know you through a virtual media. He wasn't even the sort of person to become close to people he met in real life, how could he allow himself a virtual friendship?

The thought staggered him, and the idea behind it was what kept him at bay. Kenma wanted to know about you, talk to you, learn about who you were and what you were doing, but he felt the media that connected you was what separated you.

It wasn't cowardice at all if he was just sticking to the facts and being real.

*

The next day, Kenma walked to his class by himself, listening to the latest podcast by Joe Rogan. While the external sound wasn't entirely muted, Kenma could discern sounds of people talking, cars moving around, and other noises even though he was playing the podcast on full sound. However, there was one sound in particular that stood out. Kenma paused before turning to his right, noticing a crowd of people had gathered there, with some sort of event going on. He didn't pay attention to half the events that his college conducted, his mind was obviously quite busy elsewhere, but when the announcer moved around in a weird Joker cosplaying outfit, Kenma was a tad bit intrigued.

Was it gaming related?

He slowly moved toward the crowd before finally being able to hear what the anchor was saying.

    "We've got prizes for the top three best performers, and one of the participants is the one and only (s/n) (y/n), streamer from Twitch!"

Kenma froze, half-minded to run the hell away from there. But, it seemed as if his feet were stuck to the ground. How had he not known this? Didn't you always announce the events you go to? Why were you suddenly here? A second later, he spotted you, hair put up in an updo, a plain black tee, and regular jeans. You were smiling, but some part of that smile seemed a bit hesitant.

    "We will be playing a bit differently today! Instead of the usual Fortnite battles or Apex Legends, we'll be going went and battling out on Red Dead Online! And of course, if you beat (y/n) here you earn bragging rights!"

He noticed you shift in your position a little bit, clearly uncomfortable with the attention you were getting; it didn't even look like you wanted to be there. Kenma could feel his chest hurt, and his palms were sweating now. That's all it is, he told himself. An inconvenient crush, an inconvenient crush, that's all.

Kenma sighed before noticing how he barely knew anyone there and was almost thankful for that fact; but before he could thank his stars, a hand threw itself around his neck and sprung him forward, earning the attention of not just everyone there, but especially you.

    "We have our first participant," It was his goddamn roommate, "Kenma's a brilliant gamer!"

Kenma's eyes immediately found yours, and you were looking at him with wide, confused eyes. Although this was set in the open and the atmosphere was quite cold, Kenma felt nothing but warmth radiating all over his body at the mere sight of you; you were just a few feet away, and you were giving him a rather sympathetic expression, and god, you looked so fucking pretty—

    "That's great! Sign up, ya'll! Winner will be winning a brand new DualShock 4!"

Oh fuck, Kenma thought before he felt his heart beginning to pound. He was now seated beside you, and he could practically shrink into non-existence. You were unmoving, and you weren't looking at him, but would you have looked at him if you knew he was puddinghead? Insecurity swarmed his being and he could practically feel steam escaping his ears but a moment later, he thought he'd die.

    "This was so last minute," you said, rubbing the back of your neck, "The anchor's my cousin and she's so demanding."

    "Oh," Kenma said, feeling his heartbeat skyrocket, "I see."

    "Yeah! I mean," You giggled now, "I'm not even good at Red Dead Online!"

Kenma smirked, knowing the fact already. You struggled with Red Dead Redemption not because you were bad, but because you couldn't progress with a plot so divisive. You wanted to explore more, and since the game was so vast, you barely bothered with the Online version. You turned to him now and tilted your head.

    "You're a gamer, I heard? Kozume-kun, right?"

Fuck, she knows my name, "Y-Yeah. I game when I'm free."

    "Do you have a Twitch or YouTube?"

There's no fucking way I'll answer that, "No—"

    "Ah, you must really be having a great time then."

Kenma blinked before turning to you with confusion. What did you mean?

    "Don't you enjoy streaming?"

    "Ah, no, no," You flailed your hands shyly, and Kenma believed he could combust, "It's not like that. I just think, after a point, streaming becomes more for the fans than for yourself. I used to do it for me, but now... I'm needed in places like this for promotion, and I need to have a Patreon if I'm popular or it'll look weird, I don't know... Too many restrictions. I just love gaming, you know?"

Kenma found himself smiling, "Yeah, I know. I've seen your videos."

    "Oh?"

Kenma's eyes widened. He wanted to slap himself on his forehead.

    "I—I mean, y-you're popular."

    "Thanks! You're really sweet, Kozume-kun!"

Fucking hell, Kenma placed a hand on his forehead, She's too cute.

    "Say," you said, a sly tone to your voice, "Do you want to get out of here?"

    "I'd do anything." Kenma honestly agreed.

But, you couldn't just up and leave. You were called here as Twitch streamer (s/n) (y/n), and that meant your behavior was restricted. As much as you seemed to hate said restriction, Kenma was certain that you wouldn't go against it. It could take a big blow against your viewership, and you wouldn't take that chance.

A second later, your hand gripped his wrist before you shot him a wink. Kenma's heart jumped to the skies before you pulled him away from the crowd, with participants lining the entrance to enter their names. Sure, you were doing something bad—your cousin wanted you there, but not once had she even asked if you wanted to be a part of this event. Just as Kenma was pulled in without his consent. You weren't a competitive gamer, and you were not going to be, even if it was for someone else. After running away a fair distance, Kenma felt the part of his wrist burn right where you were touching him.

    "I think I need to run more in real life and not just as Ellie." You said, and Kenma chuckled.

    "Running's good."

    "I used to run track," You said, turning to him. "Now I run in games and that's it."

You have no right being that cute, he thought before clearing his throat. He slowly pulled away from you, which made your eyes widen before shooting him an apologetic smile. He was a bit confused as to what you had done, did this mean you didn't care about losing followers?

    "You might think that I've committed career suicide," You scoffed, "Honestly, this is the bravest I've been in so long."

    "What do you mean?"

You shrugged, "Ever since I became a bit popular by streaming, I've just... I could feel myself change with the way my viewers wanted me to be? I don't blame them or anything, I just think that the love I get from them makes me yearn for more. And that yearning leaves me... inept to be myself. It's the downside of wanting to remain popular, I guess."

    "It's not like you can't be yourself and still be popular." Kenma added.

    "Yeah I know," You said, "I mean, just look at puddinghead0, we don't even know what he looks like, and wow. I adore his content."

Kenma froze once more. Was this being recorded? Did Kuroo finally tip you off and was this being filmed for his reaction? Whatever it was, he wasn't going to reveal to you now.

    "Y-Yeah, I think he just doesn't care."

    "I wish I was more like that because I end up caring. I like the comments and the views and the love. Agh, it's such a weird complex moral question. Don't even get me started."

Kenma laughed at your reaction before you turned to him and stuck a tongue out. Kenma rolled his eyes before waving a hand at you.

    "If anything," Kenma said, looking at the ground, "You didn't lose this follower today."

Your eyes widened at his statement. You smiled before nodding, and let out a chuckle.

    "Thank you, Kozume-kun."

*

Locking the door to his room, Kenma began to edit for his latest video. He was making a review for The Last of Us 2, but his mind was elsewhere. He still hadn't told Kuroo that he had met you, which would only cause the black-haired man to tease him relentlessly. Letting out a sigh, he felt sleep douse his eyelids as he continued the edit, right before a notification popped up on his phone.

It was you.

He narrowed his eyes before checking the date and time; it was unusual for you to stream live on random days. He'd learned your pattern by now. You'd been doing this for a couple of months, and it was quite easy for him to know just when and what time you'd begin. However, the screen for The Last of Us 2 was open and you looked like you had just stopped crying. His heart broke at the sight, and he instantly closed the tabs to his own edit, before opening your video on his monitor. You were taking deep breaths before chuckling.

    "Hello to everyone that's still with me," You sounded so broken, Kenma felt helpless as he continued staring at you, "You might be wondering why I'm... yeah. So, I did something and I guess I got punished for it? I was forced into a game contest and I think walking out of it made some of my followers mad. I even spoke to this other person about walking out and honestly, it didn't hit me then that what puddinghead's doing takes a lot of courage."

    "Ah, fuck, (y/n)," Kenma groaned.

    "I guess even when I expected to lose followers, I didn't expect the hate? Some of the comments were just... nasty. I..." You sniffed, "...I didn't expect that you would hate on someone for making a personal choice? And I didn't do it to offend anyone, I seriously don't know how the internet works. Oh, oh wow—" You looked troubled and Kenma could see why. "—losing out on viewers now, great. 'Don't be a whiny bitch', 'This is why girls shouldn't game'..."

You took a deep breath before calming down and saying the few words Kenma feared you might eventually come around to say.

    "This is (y/n), signing off to a world where gaming is appreciated and is not filled with a community of hate. Hope to see you there."

And the stream ended.

Kenma sighed before leaning back, no thought in his head. He knew for a fact that his room-mate must have seen the stream as well, and Kuroo would be calling him about the entire ordeal just to ensure he had something to say about it. Kenma, on the other hand, felt like he had practically pushed you to make this decision and partly felt like taking the blame, despite the common sense telling him that he had nothing to do with it. You weren't the sort of person who would jump at something without a second thought, and even if he didn't know you personally, he had been following you and your streams for months now. It felt like he knew that part of you quite well.

Kuroo was the first to call. Kenma stared at the phone for a bit before letting out a breath and getting back to editing his video. He only had to add commentary, and his mind was already circling on what to say.

Uploading the video took him exactly two more hours, after having missed three calls from Kuroo and twelve messages. At one point, Kuroo had even stopped contacting Kenma, thinking he was busy with something, and he was spot on. Kuroo's eyes wandered on the new notification about his friend's YouTube channel, which was weird considering it was not yet time for him to post something. He knew quite well that Kenma might have definitely seen (y/n)'s stream, and wanted to desperately talk to him about it, but without a clue of what the boy was thinking, Kuroo simply clicked on the notification and let the video play out.

It was the review for the game, The Last of Us 2, and Kuroo knew while giving the review, which was around 8-9 minutes, Kenma would speak his thoughts that were a tad bit uncensored toward the end. He'd talk about the drama surrounding the game, he would even bring up the entire hate that this game was receiving, but instead—Kenma had a rather strange dialogue instead.

    "One thing I don't understand is how toxic the gaming community can be, at times," Kuroo paused, narrowing his eyes at his friend's words, "While we welcome new gamers to the entire journey of learning and discovering the joy of gaming, we also tend to put them down if they didn't adhere to a certain trend. I came across one such incident happening to (s/n) (y/n)'s Twitch channel."

    "Holy shit!" Kuroo sat up straight, eyes wide as saucers at the bold move his friend made.

    "I'm part of this community and I think I have the right to call out how toxic we are in general," 

Kenma's voice didn't even waver, but after knowing him his entire life, Kuroo could deduce that the boy was a bit angry, 

"(y/n) didn't particularly do anything wrong, and she's received some nasty comments about being a female gamer, and I think that's...just disgusting. She has all the right to either attend or ditch a gaming event, and no one has to be forced to do something they don't want to do. We all have games we don't like despite being gamers, we don't have to do it all. I support (y/n), and I'll admit, I'm saddened by how her fans have treated her. Her content is great and I have immense respect for her. I hope she decides to come back and stream more. That being said, I think The Last of Us 2 is..."

As he got around to talk more about the game, Kuroo knew that this was a huge step for Kenma, and he had no idea what suddenly made the boy rethink his entire decision on never bringing her up. Now that he had, he's indirectly initiated a conversation with her, she'd definitely try and reach out now—in any way she possibly could, just to thank him at least.

Kuroo noticed his phone ringing a second later and a grin made its way to his lips.

    "What just happened?"

    "I met her, Kuroo," Kuroo almost had the wind knocked out of him, "She was at my college campus. I was walking back to my room since classes were canceled. There was some sort of gaming event. She didn't want to be a part of it, and neither did I, and we ditched. It was—"

    "You like her more now, don't you?"

When Kuroo received nothing more than silence from Kenma's end, he was certain. His precious, introverted, best boy had fallen for someone. It was a proud moment, almost.

    "You have to tell her—"

    "Kuroo, this... this is all I want to do."

    "That's bullshit, and even you know that."

    "What? You want me to open up to her and tell her I'm the YouTuber she's been gushing about for so long and I was the one who kind of pushed her into doing what she did, and so that she can hate me afterward for hiding the truth because I wouldn't be losing out on anything and she—"

    "Whoa there, Kenma. I'm just saying go talk to her as her favorite YouTuber. You're overthinking this."

    "No, you're underthinking this. I did what I had to do. It was... hard to see her like that."

Kuroo let out a sigh but before he could say anything, Kenma had already ended the call. That boy needs to grow a pair, he thought, a bit annoyed at Kenma's nature of avoiding his feelings. While Kenma believed it was for the best, he knew he was simply running away from it. Kuroo knew his friend adored (y/n), but the boy couldn't categorize that as real feelings because he's met her just once. Finding something real virtually scared him more than finding something real in real life, and while Kuroo wanted to understand that, it only annoyed him because Kenma wasn't even trying.

When you watched puddinghead0's recent video, you were jaw-dropped in awe and absolute admiration. Tears filled your eyes, but what was more was how his voice now seemed a tad bit familiar, though you didn't pay any heed to it since you've been following this channel for an entire year now. It moved you to know someone you've been admiring has been watching your content, but at the same time, he was speaking up for you? You wanted to thank him, you wanted to send him a message and say you were incredibly grateful for what he's done and the only way you knew you could say something was on Twitter.

So you mentioned him on a tweet and poured your heart out within character limit. You wondered if he would notice your tweet since you've mentioned him countless times before, but even if he didn't, even if he paid you no heed after all of this, you were still grateful. However, a second later, you received a new follower. You blinked upon noticing that it was Kozume-kun from the other day. A soft smile fell on your lips at the soft recollection of running away from a gaming event, after which everything spiraled, but you didn't in any way blame him. Your mind again drifted back to puddinghead0 and you sighed.

I'd kill to see him, man, you thought, eyeing your tweet of him dreamily.

A second later, there was a notification. You almost spat out your heart at the mere words: puddinghead0 likes your tweet.

puddinghead0 likes your tweet.

puddinghead0 likes your tweet.

    "Oh my god—" You choked on air. However, a second later, you found it difficult to remain sitting on your bed.

Don't thank me, I hope you're feeling better. You didn't deserve any of that.

Is that a—

...deserve any of that. <3

Fuck me.

Kenma almost dozed off in class right before it ended. It wasn't like it was school where the teacher would wake him up after noticing him asleep, no one really bothered. Kenma was pushed awake by the momentum of the class once it was over and he leaned back before gathering his things. Tightening his hair tie, he casually walked out of class and got to the campus. He spotted the event area, where the gaming event had occurred and instantly spotted his room-mate and a bunch of people gathered there. Rolling his eyes, he walked away from there, not wanting to gather any attention.

    "Kenma!"

He had failed. Kenma froze to his spot before turning to spot his room-mate dashing over to him, a wide grin plastered on his features. Wrapping a hand over Kenma's shoulders, his roommate brought him to the others he was talking to, before releasing him.

    "You're that guy (y/n) ran away with during that event, right?" One of them asked, and Kenma didn't bother to respond.

    "Why did she run though? I mean, it doesn't make sense for her to just up and leave."

    "I've been telling you," The same guy said, "She's not the one playing those games. She's just the face."

Kenma frowned. What is this dick talking about?

    "Man, I think that's harsh," His roommate said, "I just think she's too chicken to play in front of people—"

    "She's literally a streamer." Kenma said, rolling his eyes.

    "Yeah, but why did she—"

    "If you can't understand that she doesn't owe you shit, then there's no helping it. She didn't want to play at that event, and she didn't. I don't see why you aren't calling me a fake gamer for running too." Kenma snapped.

The others shrugged, "That's because we've seen you play—"

    "It's bullshit." Kenma said before walking away. You all are bullshit, he thought before the frown on his face settled into an uncharacteristic glare, directed at what who knows what.

A moment later, he felt his phone buzz with a notification. Kenma opened his phone and saw that he had a message from you, but what confused him was—

The message was directed to Kenma and not puddinghead. His heart jumped as his fingers roamed over the notification, wanting to open it only when he was in the comfortable confines of his room. Swallowing the bubbling anxiety, Kenma fought the urge to smile as he continued walking back, unaware of what the Twitter message could be. It would normally take him around 12 minutes to get to his apartment from campus, but that day, Kenma merely took 7.

On reaching his room, he finally allowed himself to open your message.

(y/n): Hey! I've taken a break from streaming for now, just wanted to let you know. I don't know why I'm sending you this message, but talking to you that day made me realize that I don't really need to seek approval constantly. Also, puddinghead liked my tweet and I'm a bit too happy so I needed to gush, don't @ me

Kenma chuckled, feeling his heart jump at every word you'd said. He knew you didn't realize that you were gushing about him to him, but that didn't matter. He wanted to gush about you too. He felt a stone stuck at his throat at how real all of this felt, despite having only seen you once.

Kenma Kozume: I think he's the sort of guy who isn't too loud about the things he likes. And I think a break is a good idea, (s/n).

(y/n): Call me (y/n), came the immediate response. Kenma's eyes widened at the fact that you were online, and that the two of you were currently exchanging messages live.

(y/n): Yeah, I got the feeling from his videos that he's perhaps a private person. I'm still really glad that he supported me, I can't thank him enough. I'm feeling much better already!

Kenma smiled, I'm glad that you are.

(y/n): Also

He blinked.

(y/n): Do you want to co-op at Bloodborne? I'm trying to get a platinum, haha.

    "Fuck," He let out a breath before chuckling uncharacteristically. "You can't be serious."

(y/n): I'll send you my PSN, and you can add me as a party member. Only if you're up to it, I mean.

Kenma Kozume: Sure, sounds like fun. Also

Kenma gulped. He felt like this was showing off, but he didn't care. He was going to say it.

Kenma Kozume: I already have platinum in Bloodborne. :)

(y/n): Ah, screw you.

Kenma chuckled. He wouldn't admit it, but his heart was hammering against his chest and his palms were sweating. Soon, he'd be connected to you via the DualShock and the two of you would be co-oping in a game that was designed to make players fail. He wasn't too sure how much more his heart was going to take, and while he knew he had to tell someone, for some reason, Kenma wanted to keep this a secret. It wasn't because he was ashamed or he didn't want anyone to find out.

It was simply because it was too good to be true, and he didn't want to lose out on a chance to get to know you more. Because, if this kept up...

If this kept up, Kenma was surely going to fall in love with you.

[cosmiclatte28]

#12 Lay by Your Side (Taeyong x you)

Twelfth day of Christmas (the last one!)

Lay by Your Side (Taeyong x you)

 I do not own pictures, but I own the stories :D. It’s the last day of the project and although the header doesn’t really fit the theme, it’s too cute!! I gotta do it lol 

Before reading I want to thank you all for reading this much :D I really appreciate your time and everything else you give for this 🥺🤗💖 ily all! Here we go

It’s another new year, a new chance to start the things you missed last year, a chance to fix your mistakes, the time for you to learn and grow from your past self.

You rest your eyes from watching the picturesque scene laid before your eyes. The blue green endless ocean that meets the horizon, the bright sun shining above your head and of course the sight of a book cover you can see when you raise your head.

You’re enjoying the last day staying in a bungalow at Hawaii before duty and responsibility call back. With your boyfriend, Lee Taeyong, relaxing on the long couch while reading his newest novel and your head is resting on his strong thighs.

The gentle breeze coming from the ocean through the window is enough to almost drive you to sleep, along with Taeyong’s slender fingers slowly stroking your hair as he focuses on his story, you can’t hold back the sleepiness hitting your body.

You yawn and feel his fingers leave your hair, only to hear a page flips and his fingers are back, stroking your hair calmly while sometimes applying a bit of a pressure to your scalp. You exhale and relax your shoulder, feeling even drowsier now.

“Yong-ie” you mumble with your eyes closed, you’re bored seeing the cover.

“Hmm?” he asks you back, his head didn’t move, his book is still in the same place and you bet his eyes are not stopping at all from those lines.

“Fun part?” you ask him the chapter he is reading, well it’s not like he is ignoring you the whole holiday to finish that book. No, he was treating you so well and he just continued where he left off today. You understand if he wants to add a few more pages before he is back to his tight schedule as an idol.

“Quiet exhilarating, why? Need anything?” he asks finally pausing and putting aside the book so he can see your face.

“Glad I can finally see your face, not that boring book cover.” You grin and he leans in to kiss you.

“Sorry, let me fix my posture a bit,” he pulls his body that has been slipping down the couch and you yelp when you feel your head forced to meet his knees.

“Whoops, sorry” he picks you up from your neck slowly and helps you return to your position.

You giggle when you realize he’s still sweet even after he did something so clumsy. You flip your body so you’re resting your arms on his thighs as you cup your cheeks. You’re laying on your belly between his legs. (I really hope you can picture this)

“It’s okay, what are we going to do after this?” you ask, sending him a subtle hint you’re wishing to be able to do something else in this good villa before going home.

Taeyong smirks “Want what? We’ve explored everything around here, we even went swimming this morning.” He rubs circle with his thumb on your slightly tanned shoulder.

“Didn’t you have enough tan already? I cannot go tanner than this even if I want to, my stylist will kill me.” He chuckles and you nod your head “I know, I mean if I want my skin to be tanner, I’ll do it by myself. But-“ your breath hitched when you catch his red shiny lips in your sight.

Taeyong follows your gaze and realizes where you are staring at and he licks his lips when he caught you staring “Eyes are up here miss,” he teases you and do the regular “see my eyes here” finger gestures.

You gulp “Sorry,” and you focus your eyes to see his. His dark eyes are twinkling as usual but today with his messy hair he didn’t look cuddly at all.

You secretly snake your arms around his torso and bury your face into his chest before snuggling closer to his body if that is possible.

“Woah, careful can you breathe?” he asks when he sees you plant your face to his torso, you nod “Perfectly fine.”

He giggles and reaches out his book to continue where he left off. He peacefully hold his book on his right hand and his left hand is back to stroking your hair and now touching your skin too slightly grazing over it with his callouses fingers.

You did not know you fell asleep while hugging him. The soft snore coming out from you is what makes Taeyong stop reading his book.

He marks his page down and puts it aside. Slowly without waking you up, Taeyong moves your head so at least he can see your pretty face and ensures himself you’re not suffocated.

The man smiles down lovingly and gently places a kiss on your temple, he lets go when he feels your body stirring. While leaning back to the sofa, Taeyong watches the endless blue horizon that meets the sea. A small smile tugs his lips when he remembered the night he confessed his true feelings to you.

Taeyong always says he is a man with the heart of the sea, yes the sea because it is deep and mysterious. Though some of his friends say that may be interpreted in a wrong way, he met you and you bravely answered him with “And I am a fearless adventurer, who’s not afraid of the deep and mysterious sea. Guess we matched.”

He cannot hide his happiness away when his ring finger sparkles while stroking your hair and getting caught in the golden sun ray. With memories playing in his head, Taeyong plays with the metal ring on his hand. He always wears it everywhere he go, even to music shows!

Taeyong keeps his promise ring on his hand no matter what, no matter how hard the stylists tried to make him put it down just for the sake of the wardrobe and cameras. He always find a way to sneak it back on or just go to a long ass bickering of ridiculous things like

“It is my lucky ring… my mom said to never take this off…. Hey I might lose it….” And others even silly ones. But in the end, he did it. He always brings that small part of you with him, to remind him you are his and he is yours. He’s glad you’re not the type who gets jealousies instantly or even put needless curiosity over him.

Instead, Taeyong is more protective of you. He knows your past with your boyfriends are not good, especially the ones that secretly date another person, or just the abusive ones who are obsessed to have you. Taeyong acts protective because he didn’t want any one of them to hurt you, but you just smile and tell him “Thank you Tae, but trust me I can keep myself safe.”

And for three years of dating, you proofed yourself to Taeyong that you can take a good care of yourself. Saesang fans have gotten through your way before, but you can finish it off with a cold head and cold heart. You talked to them nicely, explaining that no it’s not a relationship. Well to you and him this is already beyond relationship, both of you are committed already and slowly taking steps to marriage. The fans asked your apology and you told them you won’t make a fuss if they keep quiet and also stop being a saesang.

You even asked them to join you for a drink and they open up to you, you learnt they became this wild  because they crave for attentions they couldn’t get. So, you give them the attention they needed. Every month, you make a small gathering for that group of fans and they even bring more fans too and you just reveal yourself to be a nobody. They didn’t really mind who you are, they’re so happy to see that being a healthy fan is way way way much better.

You never tell Taeyong about that secret project, he only found out about it when a fan came to him during fan sign and told him everything. Taeyong went home that day with fascination, he told you about the story and he even praised the creator of that event.

You teased him “So you wanna marry that person?”

Taeyong on that day giggled and pulls out an “are you insane face” “Hell if I am not committed yet, I might ask that person out.”

You nod your head “I’m gonna tell you, even when you’re committed you can do that.”

He shakes his head “No way! I am not going to hurt you. I was just talking nonsense.”

You just silently walk to his back and hug him “Will you still say no when I show you who runs that project?” you show your phone to his face and swipe the photos you took from each event.

He went speechless and when his soul is back, Taeyong gets down on one knees and proposes without a ring. But that spontaneity and the air that night, made you nod your head. The night and the promise were sealed with a warm passionate kiss.

He bought you the ring two days after it, because he asked the jeweler to crave names inside.

It was a beautiful memory and you’ve passed the event on to another friend you trust can handle the lonely fans. You disappear from media because slowly Taeyong and you will be coming up to the agency and open up the hidden stories, though you both don’t know when.

He wants to marry you once the agency gives him the green light and of course after both your parents and his agree. Though he knows the latter part will be easier than the first one.

“So, are we going up this year?” Taeyong mumbles to the air, he is not actually talking to you for he knows you’re sleeping.

But even in your sleep, you unconsciously nod your head and give him a reassuring face he always gets from your face whenever he is in doubt.

Taeyong brushes your hair away from your glowing face and leans in once again to seal his lips with yours. “I love you (y/n), to infinity and beyond.” He whispers and seals your lips one more time.

end

thank you guys for supporting me, this is the last story for the 12 days of Christmas fanfic project! ;D I am happy you all are enjoying this and I just want to wish you all a happy new year!! May all your goals be achieved this year 

See you on another story :D

I love you all!! Thanks for being an amazing friends who want to read my small writings 💖

Christmas masterlist completed

[kiirokero]

My Hope (JHS)

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Angst, Lil bit of Fluff, Mutual Pining, (old?)Best Friends to lovers

Word Count: 2,870

Summary:  You were only trying to forget the love you knew you could never have, but now you were trapped in a hell. You’ve had enough and you find yourself at the doorstep of the one who you truly loved, soaking wet and broken.

Warnings: Mentions of a domestic abusive relationship, verbal, emotional, light physical abuse (bruising), manipulation, gaslighting (kinda?), yelling, degradation (and not the smexy kind), light panicking, abusive isolation, just a lot of horrible shit. 

Note: PLEASE don’t read if the warning topics are triggering for you.

     Cold. That's all I could feel right now. My hands like icicles as the unforgiving frost of the city bit at the tips of my ears and nose. Was I really doing the right thing? My legs aching as I continued my journey to the only place I could turn to. He said he'd change. He always said that. Every time. Maybe this time will be different. How many times has it been? 5? 10? I've lost count, but I was stuck.

     1... 2... 3... I counted my steps to keep my mind off of the situation that plagued it. It was his fault, right? It wasn't mine? Would he have acted like that if it was anybody else? He's always been jealous. Insecure. Reassurance a constant sound coming from my vocal cords, only because I didn’t want to do the alternative. 

     18... 19... 20... Am I walking too slow? I should be there by now. Am I lost? Will I succumb to the cold in an alleyway all by myself? My feet like the stone statues that stood in the middle of the city. Their empty stares the only thing to keep me company. The patter of rain the only music filling my ears. Lonely. I was always so lonely. Even when the arms of the person I falsely gave my heart to were wrapped around my ever dying body.

     50... 51... 52... What happened to me? I used to be so happy. My smile a genuine painting on my face rather than a mask constantly in my hand. I used to have friends, family; I used to have him...A piece of me was taken away with every hateful word spat at me. I was no better than the cold stone men. The fire in my soul reduced to a pathetic ember. My glowing skin diminished into scratchy leather. My will to keep going now nothing more than a scrap of paper. Burnt. Torn. Crumpled.

     87... 88... 89... I had to do it. I couldn't take it anymore. My life had been ripped away from me. He trapped me in a hellscape with false promises of love. Lured me in with a chance to forget. To forget about him. Happiness... I wanted it back. I want my friends back. I wanted my family back. My hobbies, my freedom, him.

I wanted Hoseok back.

     "Who was that?" My boyfriend, Hajoon, snapped as I closed the door. "The new neighbor..." I faltered. Hajoon just scoffed and stood up. Walking towards me as my heart rate spiked. Not again. "Oh really? And what did he want?" He taunted, annoyance written all over his face. "H-he just wanted to introduce himself..." I stuttered. "Why are you stuttering? I swear you'd never survive without me. You're so pathetic." He huffed as he harshly grabbed my chin, making me look at him. "Don't talk to him again, got it?" I nodded and he let go. "You love me and you'd never leave me. Right Y/N?" He questioned. "Right... I'd never leave you..."

     "Hobi! How's the tour going!" I exclaimed, happy to get a call from my best friend. "Y/N! It's going well! It's been a blast performing and meeting Army's." He chirped. Hajoon was out, meaning that I could talk to Hoseok without worry. Hajoon never liked Hoseok. Whenever I would mention my beloved best friend, he would get angry. He would yell and me tell me I shouldn't talk to him. I didn't listen though, Hoseok has been with me through everything. I could never drop him. Never. "Why haven't you been visiting more, Y/N? We miss you!" Hoseok asked, a hint of sadness laced in his voice. "Ah, I would but... Hajoon doesn't like when I go out without him..." I hesitated. "Y/n... Hajoon doesn't own you. You can do things without his approval. You're an adult, okay?" Hoseok stated. "I know, but..." I froze as I heard the door open.

     "I-I gotta go, I'll talk to you when I can..." I panicked, hanging up the phone before Hoseok could say anything. "Y/n? Who are you talking to?" Hajoon called out. "M-my mom!" I called back, tears stinging my eyes but I refused to let them fall. "She just wanted to check up on me..." I quickly deleted my call history, leaving a call from my mom earlier today at the top. I knew that if Hajoon didn't believe me, he'd look at my call history. The last time I lied about who I was talking to, he yelled at me for hours. Hajoon walked into our shared bedroom staring coldly at me. "What did you guys talk about?" He asked. "She was just asking how my life is... telling me how they are..." I mumbled. "What did you say?" He commanded me to tell him. "I- I said I was fine..." Hajoon nodded, satisfied, and laid down on the bed, beckoning me into his arms.

     I complied, curling up next to him, my head in his chest. He knew what he was doing was wrong. He knew how he was treating me was wrong. He feared getting caught. Scared I'd run away. Slipping from his grasp. He was insecure. He needed someone to control in order to feel that he had power. Why did it have to be me? "I love you." He mumbled. I hesitated, not wanting to say those sacred words, but my mind when back to what happened every time I didn't say it back. 'I give you everything, yet you're so ungrateful?' 'You just take and take, don't you?' 'You'd have nothing without me!' 'You need me.'

"I- I love you too..."

     "Where the hell we're you?!" I winced at the sound of my yelling boyfriend. "I was out with friends... I told you last night that they wanted to go see a movie with me..." I mumbled. Fear and anxiety already coursing through my body. "And I thought I told you that I didn't want you to go?!" He screamed. Hoseok's words ran through my mind 'You're an adult'. That's the only reason I could pick myself up and go out. "I..." I stumbled out, "I'm an adult... I can make my own decisions..." The room was silent. I looked up to see Hajoon looking at me with an unreadable expression.

     "Oh, really?" He said in a monotone manner, scaring me even more. He wasn't yelling anymore, but I could tell he was mad, he was really mad. He started stepping towards me, causing me to back up, hitting my back against the empty living room wall. "Really?" He said again, this time in a more spiteful tone. He harshly grabbed my wrist, squeezing it tight. I cried out at the sudden pain. "You're an adult? You don't act like it. You're like a child leeching off of me, ungratefully taking everything from me, yet you want to say you're an adult?!" My eyes were watering and my heart rammed against my ribcage, I could hear the sound in my ears. "You made me quit my job... So I wouldn't have my own money..." I whispered. But he heard it, and he squeezed my wrist even tighter. "I do this because I love you." He stated. But I've had it, I've had enough. "No! No, you don't! You don't love me! This isn't love!"

     I struggled in his grip, managing to get free as I bolted for the door. I had to get out of there. I burst the door open and ran down the street. Ignoring the yells that came from behind me. I just kept running and running. Rain roughly hitting my face, mixing with the salty tears slipping from my eyes.

     I looked down at my bruising wrist, the sight not new to me. The bruise was like a bracelet to me now. An accessory I would wear to remind me I made him mad, and he went too far. I curled my knees against my chest, cold and wet, shivering in front of my best friend's door. I took my phone out of my pocket. 9 pm. When I got home it was 7, was I really running for that long?

     Hoseok's place was a 30-minute drive from mine, but walking/running was a different story. The twists and turns of the city streets adding on extra time to my commute. I didn't want to call him. It was Sunday night. Every Sunday night, Hoseok would go to BigHit's dance studio and practice more by himself, starting at 6 and ending at 8. Then the long drive back home. That was his Sunday routine. I didn't want to bother him. His dancing was important to him, and he loved it. I didn't want to ruin his night by interrupting him. I didn't want to be a bother.

     Irrational fears ran through my head, torturing me. Did I have any right to be here? Would he be mad at me? Why would he be mad at me? Please don't be mad at me. I can't handle it. I can't handle the yelling, the screaming. I can't handle the hate, the fake love. I couldn't handle being trapped. A dying bird in a rusty cage. I wanted freedom, craved it. Tonight, I finally got it. Now I just needed the warm, comforting arms and the smooth voice of my best friend to tell me everything is going to be okay.

     "Y-Y/n?" I looked up at the sound of my name and saw a worried-looking Hoseok, still dressed in workout clothes and a duffle bag in hand. As soon as I saw his face, tears spilled out of my eyes, "Hobi?" I hiccuped. He wasted no time rushing to me, kneeling in front of me, holding me close. "Y/n, you're soaking wet! What happened?" I couldn't answer him as I choked out tears. Hoseok could tell I was too hysterical to give him an answer, so he picked me up and walked inside his apartment.

     "Hey, hey, it's okay. I need you to calm down, Y/n. Can you do that for me?" Hoseok comforted me as brought me to the bathroom and sat me on the side of the tub. I nodded my head and Hoseok ran me through a breathing exercise. It didn’t calm me down entirely, but at least I could speak now. Hoseok kneeled in front of me and held one of my hands as the other one worked on wiping my tears away. "I'm sorry..." I whispered. "No, Y/n, I don't what to hear any of that. You have nothing to be sorry for." Hoseok stated, "But, what happened?"

     "Hajoon... Hajoon happened." I said, his name like tar in my mouth. Hoseok's face contorted in disgust. "I knew it..." He whispered to himself. I could see the mental battle he was having in his head plastered on his face. It read guilt and regret. He stood up and walked out of the bathroom. He soon returned with a black hoodie and a pair of sweatpants, handing them to me. "Go ahead and change, I don't want my sunshine to get sick." My heart skipped a beat at the old nickname he always used for me.

     Sunshine. He's been calling me that since forever. But when I got in a relationship with Hajoon, he stopped out of respect, since sunshine sounded so loving to Hajoon. I forgot just how much I missed it. Hajoon was never that loving to me, Hoseok treated me better than him from the start. Loving Hoseok scared me. He had a dream. He was a star and I was a nobody compared to him. I was scared I wasn't good enough for him. So when the puppy love between me and Hajoon started, I took it as an opportunity to keep me from impeding Hoseok and his dream. But it backfired, it backfired so badly.

     I stepped out of the bathroom, walking to the living room that seemed like a distant memory now. I remembered when I would practically spend days straight at Hoseok's house, even if he had work, it was my second home until Hajoon ripped that away from me. He told me that it was unfaithful to spend so much time at Hoseok’s, and not wanting to hurt his feelings, I listened to him. I was so stupid. Hoseok walked out the kitchen, dressed in lounge clothes, leftover takeout in hand as he motioned for me to sit down. I complied silently. We said nothing to each other, but we didn't have to. We didn't need to fill the silence with conversation just yet. We just needed each other.

     Hoseok set the food down on the table in front of us and sat down, grabbing pieces of food with a pair of chopsticks and feeding me. The loving gesture almost made me sob. After he deemed I was fed well, he wrapped his arms securely around me, holding me tight. Afraid that if he were to let go, someone would take me away from him again. "You can talk when you're ready." He whispered to me, petting my hair lovingly. I did just that. I talked and talked. Going on and on about how Hajoon would treat me, how he would yell and scream, how he would lash out than apologize afterward, promising to change. I told him how he didn't like me hanging out with my friends or visiting family. If I went out, he had to go with me. If I was on the phone, he had to know who was on the other side. If he told me he loved me, I had to say it back, or things wouldn't be pretty. "How long has this been going on?" Hoseok asked. "A couple months after we got together... It started out small, but then it spiraled. Before I knew it, I was trapped in a loveless relationship, too scared to run." I shivered as I sunk into Hoseok's arms even more.

"I'm so sorry, I should've been there," Hoseok whispered.

"It's okay Hobi, just... hold me."

"Why didn't you call me? You shouldn't have walked all the way over here."

"I knew you were practicing."

"Y/n," He breathed, "I'd drop anything for you."

"I know how important your job is to you Hobi..."

"You're more important."

     Silence engulfed us again, Hoseok gently rocking me back and forth. Loving Hoseok was scary, but I wouldn't hold myself back anymore. I wouldn't dance around the issue. I couldn't deny what my heart wanted and what it wanted all along. Last time I did, Hajoon reduced me to a scrap of myself. 

      Hajoon would hug me, but they weren’t like Hoseok’s. Hajoon would hold me, but it wasn’t like Hoseok. Hajoon said he loved me, but he wasn’t Hoseok. He was never Hoseok. He could never be Hoseok. 

"I didn't love him." I sniffled. "I never did. He wasn't the person I wanted, Hobi."

"Who did you want...?" Hoseok hesitated.

"I wanted my hope..." I choked out, tears threatening to fall again.

      Hoseok held me tighter. A stray tear fell on the top of my head, telling me he needed to hear that. That single tear told me so much. He regretted not being there for me through this. He felt like it was his fault. If only he knew, things would be different. If only he told me he loved me, this would've never happened.

"Why didn't you come to me sooner?" Hoseok croaked out, sniffling.

"I was just scared of what he would to do me..." I winced.

"Did he hurt you?" Hoseok asked.

I stayed silent. He pulled away to look me in the eye, his own tears glistening under the light.

"Sunshine. Did he hurt you?" He pressed.

I couldn't resist him whenever he called me that, so I just silently nodded.

"Where?"

     I showed him my wrist. The purple splotches wrapping around it reminding me of the invisible handcuffs Hajoon had me in for so long. "He's disgusting..." He scoffed, gently taking my wrist in his hands, examining the deep bruises. I unconsciously flinched, earning a look of sadness from Hoseok, more tears falling from his face. "Was this the first time?" I shook my head, causing Hoseok to take a deep breath. "Tomorrow, we'll go get your things and bring them here. I'll deal with him." I looked up at the man in front of me. Instead of his somber look, his face showed a mad one. Hoseok was always scary when mad. The aura that radiated off of him was a threatening one. "I don't want to go back there, Hobi..." I mumbled. Hoseok slowly put a hand on my cheek and stroked my cheekbone with his thumb. His moves were slow and gentle, not wanting to scare me. "Don't worry, he won't be there when we go."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He'll be rotting in a cell."

"...Jail?"

"He committed a crime, Y/n," He stated.

"...Thank you Hobi. I missed you..."

"I missed you too, sunshine. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you..."

"I love you..." I squeezed him tighter.

"I love you too, sunshine."

[littledrummeraussie]

the light in your eyes and the dark in your heart.

Word count: 1900+

Warnings: I would say none? It’s a bit mystical, a small bit dark, and there are mentiones of sex.

Author’s note: I’ve reblogged @devilatmydoor​ Anna’s Ashton x dark academia moodboard yesterday with the tags that it could be a modern day Dorian Gray-ish AU, and after that we started discussing the possibility behind it. I like how it turned out, and I hope it makes Anna happy as well!

Feedback is appreciated!

masterlist.

- - - - -

Ashton Irwin was a mystery.

Hazel eyes stared at you as you gathered your books into a neat stack, making room for the stranger in front of you. The library was quiet and almost empty, yet he insisted to sit with you as you’ve worked on an assignment. A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, showing off perfect teeth and full lips, and for a moment you were lost in the golden flecks that mixed with the greens and browns. He politely thanked you, his voice like honey, warm and rich, and you were sure he just put a spell on you with those two words.

He lightly tapped his pen against his notebook, scribbling down notes before turning to his laptop, adding a few hundred words to his already lengthy document. You’ve lost your train of thoughts many times during the two hours you’ve spent at the table in the back, and felt your stomach drop when you saw he was ready to leave, knowing you’ll probably never see the beautiful stranger again.

A piece of paper landed on your book, neatly folded into a square, and you saw him give you a smile and a wink as he left the library, bag hoisted up on his shoulder and books under his arm. You slowly opened the note to find a name and a number written down, with a few lines added at the end.

 Friday, 2.30 PM.

Café on Campus.

If you’re busy we can reschedule.

Ashton

* * * * *

Ashton Irwin was loved by everyone.

No matter how many times he took you to the coffee shop tucked away in the corner of Campus, there was always an empty table for him, his order already being made the moment he crossed the threshold. He shrugged, saying that it was easy when you were a senior and everyone knew your name, and he made you sit down as he bought you your favourite drink. He gave a charming smile to the girl working the cashier, dropping a dollar or two into the tip jar, and you could see her eyes sparkle and the blush colouring the tip of her ears as Ashton left the counter.

He always had a nice word to the people he ran into, hands in his pockets as he asked them about their latest struggles and how those worked out for them, making plans to catch up later when both had a little more time. Girls praised him for being a gentleman, always the one who looked out for them during parties, making sure they’ve got home safely. Guys told each other what a good sport he was, always ready for a joke or a good prank, how easy it was to get along with him.

Ashton laughed as you’ve asked him about his reputation, breaking a cookie in half and giving you the bigger one, picking on a chocolate chip before plopping it into his mouth.

”Silly girl,” he shook his head, giving you a knowing smile. ”People love you when they know you have something that they want. Don’t forget that.”

* * * * *

Ashton Irwin was gifted.

The senior has been working on his dissertation since freshman year, always finding new topics to incorporate into his magnum opus. You’ve heard people gossiping about his late night library visits, disappearing for weeks to travel up to another place and look through their collection of books, always looking for something new. Ashton had a way with words – not just when he was talking, but also when it was time to understand them. He always had a book with himself, colourful sticky notes peeking out from the pages, marking all the places he wanted to revisit.

His chosen topic surprised you, but soon you’ve learned that there was no one else who has known as much about gods, demons or the devil making pacts with mortal souls throughout the history of classical and modern art. Ashton quoted sections from the Bible without thinking twice, knowing exactly how many times the Devil appeared and made his move on mankind. He made parallels between the gods making deals with mortals in Greek literature and modern men bargaining with Evil himself. He talked about Goethe’s Faust and Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray as someone who has read them a thousand times already; you couldn’t ask a question for which he didn’t have an answer for. Music, paintings, movies – whatever it was, he had it: saved on a playlist, in a folder on his laptop, DVDs lining his shelves, ready to make a new connection regarding all the other art forms.

You ran your finger down the spine of a torn copy of Dorian Gray in his room, the once golden words now barely readable as you’ve asked why he was so obsessed with the pact between gods and humans.

”I’ve made a deal with the Devil,” he shrugged when you cocked an eyebrow at him, grabbing your hand and pulling you to his chest. ”I’ve sold my soul for immortality.”

You rolled your eyes and let him kiss you, his lips tasting bitter like coffee, and sweet like ambrosia.

* * * * *

Ashton Irwin was beautiful.

You’ve never seen someone as handsome as your boyfriend – and no, you weren’t exaggerating. You found that you were not the only one who got lost in his shining eyes or his charming smile. People stopped and stared at him on the street, complimenting his features, comparing him to statues and paintings, asking if he was a model or maybe an angel. Ashton laughed and wrapped his arm around your waist, telling them that beauty was temporary, and that there are much more important things in the world before leading you away.

Yet you needed to agree with them – you’ve thought it was just the love and admiration talking, your budding romance and the excitement of a new relationship. But Ashton always seemed like he was perfectly put together by God himself. Your fingers curled into his silky soft hair, eyes locked on his, trying to name all the colours that made up his curious gaze, lips full and jaw chiselled, arms strong and skin warm against yours. You soon found out about his love for tattoos, but it took you some time to explore all of the different inks painting his skin, every one of them having a story for another night when you’ve made love.

He curled his arm around you, pulling you to his side, blissed out from your shared pleasure. Your fingers tangled into his necklace, playing with the medal before lightly running your fingertip over his nipple, down on his ribs to the tattoo on his side, tracing the fine lines of the inking.

”Do you ever fear death? Dying before your time is up? Staying forever young.”

”I crave it,” he whispered, making you look up at him, but he quickly flashed you a soft smile. ”But not since I’ve found you.”

* * * * *

Ashton Irwin was dangerous.

You wanted to think that it was a joke, a well put together prank to make fun of a naïve freshman. But Ashton wasn’t laughing, his eyes dark and serious as he waited for your reaction. His classmates jokingly called him Dorian Gray, and you’ve thought it was just a play on his obsession with death and immortality, but you found that they’ve been right. Even if they didn’t know just how right they have been.

”You did sell your soul to the Devil,” you couldn’t believe the words that left your mouth, but deep inside you knew they were true.

”And I’ve been trying to get it back ever since,” he moved closer, making you step back until your body hit the shelf behind you. ”Are you scared of me?”

”Should I?” you felt your throat dry up, words stuck in your mouth as he leaned his forehead against yours.

”Silly girl,” he brushed his thumb down your cheek, stroking a lock of hair behind your ear. ”You should be terrified.”

”You’re looking for a solution,” you slowly put the pieces together, and he just nodded, both of you understanding the other. ”How old are you?”

”I don’t even remember myself,” he smiled sadly, fingers cradling your jaw. ”Maybe a few hundred years.”

”Are you lonely?” you tugged on the hem of his shirt, and he took it as an invitation, moving closer to your body.

”Not when I’m with you,” Ashton shook his head. ”You make me feel like I’m free of this curse.”

The sounds of your pleasure echoed in the empty library building, the night quiet and dark around you as you’ve lost yourself in each other, Ashton’s arms tightly wrapped around you as he moaned and grunted, and you took all of him – all his pleasure, all his hurt and sadness, every little confession he whispered in your ear. He was sweaty and out of breath as he curled up in your lap, head resting on your thigh as you played with his hair, both of you knowing that this was probably the end. You knew that when the morning comes he will go back to his books and tales, looking for the one thing that could make this all right. He knew that you will probably stick around until the end of the semester, transferring to another school so you don’t to have deal with the hubris he has brought upon himself.

”You know– I’ve seen a flat down on Main Street,” you lightly tugged on his curling hair, and he slowly looked up at you. ”It’s up for rent.”

”Are you sure about it?” something flashed in his eyes, a glimmer of hope as you’ve nodded, making a smile tug at the corner of his mouth.

* * * * *

Ashton Irwin was free.

His heart was bursting with love whenever he opened the door to your shared apartment, finding you in the kitchen making dinner, or curled up on the couch under a blanket, his old copy of Dorian Gray lying on the floor next to you, your finger still stuck between the pages. He always checked where you were at, reading a few paragraphs before marking your page and putting it on the coffee table, running his fingers down your cheek to wake you.

Ashton couldn’t remember the last time he felt alive. But with you tucked against his side as the two of you watched a movie or walked around the city when everyone else was already asleep – that is when he truly felt free. He promised himself he will stop trying, and start living, working on being the best version of Ashton, the one he thought you deserved. He didn’t want to think about what will happen in a few years, how are you going to explain to people that he stopped aging a hundred or so years ago. He just wanted to be happy, even if it only felt like a moment in the long life that still awaited him.

On the morning of your graduation day Ashton climbed back into bed next to you, bouncing on the mattress as he tried to wake you. You sleepily blinked up at him, ready to give him a dirty look for making you get up so early – and that is when you saw it. A lock of grey hair hung over his forehead, making his smile brighter than the sun. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging him closer to kiss him, wrapping the stray curl around your finger.

”You’ve never looked more beautiful,” you whispered on his lips, and you felt Ashton blush, burrowing closer to you.

He’s never felt more beautiful or loved than that morning. He was alive. He was free.

- - - - -

@mymindwide @loveroflrh @sadistmichael @notinthesameguey @babylonashton @talkfastromance4 @dead-and-golden @fuckyeah5sostakemehome @karajaynetoday @devilatmydoor​ @myloverboyash​ @sexgodashton​

[tiriansjewel]

find it here on Spotify!

lyric explanations below the cut! (click images for better quality)

~~

~~

1. The 1 by Taylor Swift

“But it would've been fun

If you would've been the one”

As we start the playlist, Luke and Alex are taking a wistful look back on their relationship in the 90s now that they’ve moved on to other people.

2. Coming Clean by Green Day

“Seventeen and strung out on confusion

Trapped inside a roll of disillusion

I found out what it takes to be a man

Now mom and dad will never understand”

Back in the 90s, both Luke and Alex are coming to terms with their sexualities.

3. Smells Like Teen Spirit

“With the lights out, it's less dangerous

Here we are now, entertain us”

Sunset Curve were working towards popularity right at the height of the grunge scene, and I would assume that both Luke and Alex heard quite a bit of this song as teenagers.

4. Now or Never by Sunset Curve

“Keep dreaming like we'll live forever

But live it like it's now or never”

How could I not include Sunset Curve’s own song? They like living in the moment, and that includes their love lives.

5. Everlong by the Foo Fighters

“And I wonder

If everything could ever feel this real forever

If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you

You've got to promise not to stop when I say when”

When you go through adolescence, you crave intimacy with other people. This song exemplifies what Luke and Alex want from each other- to be able to feel, and to be able to experience those feelings on a deeper level.

6. Ocean Size by Jane’s Addiction

“Wish I was ocean size

They cannot move you, man

No one tries

No one pulls you

Out from your hole

Like a tooth aching a jawbone”

Jane’s Addiction was another LA rock band of this time period, and these lyrics about wanting to be powerful like the ocean and having to leave your home really remind me of Luke.

7. All Apologies by Nirvana

“What else should I be?

All apologies

What else should I say?

Everyone is gay”

This song is Kurt Cobain ironically apologizing for his cynical attitude, including the line “everyone is gay” to mock homophobes. It reminds me of Alex- he doesn’t want to be “married and buried”; he is rebelling against his parents’ definition of a correct lifestyle.

8. Freaking Out The Neighborhood by Max DeMarco

“And I know it's no fun

When your first son

Gets up to no good

Starts freaking out the neighborhood”

Emily Patterson and Alex’s mom were probably both pretty appalled by their sons effectively joining the counterculture. At this point, both Luke and Alex are starting to express themselves more, comfortable in who they are and what they want.

9. Hangout With You by Diners

“All I want

Is to talk with you now

And I know that you've got time

You are constantly on my mind

Yes I know that you've got time

To hang out with me

Tonight”

Luke has begun to realize that he likes Alex, and in true Luke fashion, can’t stop thinking about it.

10. Affection by Between Friends

“I'm laying on the floor

We're drinking 'cause we're bored

Oh, I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places

And we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces”

One night, it all comes out- their feelings and desires- and they decide to begin some kind of friends with benefits type of situation. This song feels like it’s from Luke’s perspective to me.

11. gold rush by Taylor Swift

“What must it be like

To grow up that beautiful?

With your hair falling into place like dominos

I see me padding 'cross your wooden floors

With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door

At dinner parties

I call you out on your contrarian shit

And the coastal town

We wandered 'round had never

Seen a love as pure as it

And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea

'Cause you know it could never be”

Luke is a magnetic person, attracting everyone, and Alex finds him beautiful. He is in awe of him, but he’s also scared about having feelings he doesn’t know how to handle. This song kind of shows Alex’s internal monologue.

12. Can We Kiss Forever? by Kina

“I tried to reach you, I can't hide

How strong's the feeling when we dive

I crossed the ocean of my mind

My wounds are healing with the salt

All my senses intensified

Whenever you and I, we dive”

This song describes their first kiss, obscured from the world, in my mind. Plus, there’s ocean metaphors. You can’t go wrong with that.

13. 18 by Anarbor

“So if you wanna piss off your parents

Date me to scare them

Show them you're all grown up

If long hair and tattoos are what attract you

Baby, then you're in luck

And I know it's just a phase

You're not in love with me

You wanna piss off your parents, baby

That's alright with me”

Luke knows Alex isn’t in love with him, but they both want to try new things. Bonus points for this song having references to frayed parent-child relationships.

14. Boys Will Be Boys by Miles McKenna

“That graduation day, it never came for you and me

Couple drop-out kids, a shotgun wedding's all we need

Sorry, Mom, Sorry, Dad

Better luck next time

A couple packs a day, pierced nose and tattoos on our legs

No strangers to pretend, we've always been too proud to beg

Sorry, Mom, Sorry, Dad

Better luck next time

Boys will be boys”

This song referencing a “couple of drop out kids” just going with the flow made me think of how Sunset Curve probably never would have finished high school.

15. Just Like You by Three Days Grace

“You thought you were there to guide me, you were only in my way

You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

I could be mean

I could be angry

You know I could be just like you.”

Both Luke and Alex have tons of resentment for their parents, obviously.

16. Sunstroke by Less Than Jake

“We've all been living proof

That time won't wait or choose

We know it ticks on without me and you

And I can't have both sides

Letting go or holding tight

I'm burning bright tonight”

This song about being stubborn and time not waiting really reminded me of Luke, plus the foreshadowing of them becoming ghosts and adapting to a whole new world.

17. Saint Bernard by Lincoln

“Saint Calvin told me not to worry about you

But he's got his own things to deal with

There's really just one thing that we have in common

Neither of us will be missed”

This song just made me think about Alex and his Catholic guilt.

18. Bedroom Hymns by Florence and the Machine

“This is a good a place to fall as any

We'll build our altar here

Make me your Maria

I'm already on my knees

You had Jesus on your breath

And I caught Him in mine

Sweating out confessions

The undone and the divine

This is his body, this is his love

Such selfish prayers and I can't get enough, oh”

Part 2 of Alex and his Catholic guilt. Their relationship has become more carnal, and this song maybe gives a little of Alex’s perspective into that time.

19. Church by Fall Out Boy

“And if death is the last appointment

Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room

I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom

If you were church, yeah

I'd get on my knees”

Here ends the trilogy of songs with religious references. This song is heady and sensual and also includes some nice foreshadowing of their deaths.

20. Bros by Wolf Alice

“Shake your hair, have some fun

Forget our mothers and past lovers, forget everyone

Oh, I'm so lucky, you are my best friend

Oh, there's no one, there's no one who knows me like you do

Are your lights still on?

I'll keep you safe

If you keep me strong”

Here’s another song from Luke’s perspective- talking about forgetting mothers, being best friends, and keeping Alex safe, as long as Alex keeps him strong.

21. Slip Away by Perfume Genius

“Don't look back, I want to break free

If you'll never see 'em coming
You'll never have to hide

Take my hand, take my everything

If we only got a moment

Give it to me now

They'll never break the shape we take

Baby, let all them voices slip away”

Alex struggles with losing his family over his sexuality, and Luke helps him through it.

22. Make Out In My Car by Sufjan Stevens

“I'm not trying to

Go to bed with you

I just wanna make out in my car

And though I'm dying to

Fall in love with you

I just wanna make out in my car”

Another great song about just wanting to exist with someone, about wanting touch and feel and create. They don’t want to fall in love, they just want to be.

23. I Exist I Exist I Exist by Flatsound

“I remember the way you shook

Its a shame that we're not soul mates

Because if i didn't know better

I'd say this feels pretty good

How could i be scared?

When i stretch and feel that you're there

So shut your mouth

Because these words will speak themselves

I can feel them in these blankets

And they're surrounding your figure

Embraced in the quilts

And i cant help but think

You're my missing puzzle piece”

This song is so beautiful- with references to helping a partner through anxiety, and being just like ones mother... a lot of this dynamic in my mind is Luke and Alex reminding each other that they exist, that life is wide and bright, that they’re alive. This gives a window into Luke’s inner feelings as well.

24. Come on, Mess Me Up by Cub Sport

“I found comfort, I fell in love with avoiding problems

But I want this, you know I want this

So come on, mess me up

And you can break me, if you'll still take me

Ruin me, if you'll let me be one of the ones you say you won't forget”

At some point, they become more reckless about their feelings, a little less level headed about their arrangement. Intimacy is an escape.

25. Please Never Fall In Love Again by Ollie MN

“This is what it's like to be lovers

You and me need never be lonely again

Spin with me endlessly or at least until the end

Please never fall in love again”

As usually happens with these arrangements, feelings are caught. Luke and Alex consider making things more serious.

26. Can I Call You Tonight? by Dayglow

“Batteries drain, I get the memo

I think that I might have to let you go

So can I call you tonight?

I'm trying to make up my mind

Just how I feel

Could you tell me what's real?”

The end of their relationship is near, and Alex is unsure. You can decide if this takes place before or after they die.

27. Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

“I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No, I don't wanna fall in love with you”

Eventually these relationships all start to feel like games, don’t they?

28. Perfect by The Smashing Pumpkins

“So far I still know who you are

But now I wonder who I was

Angel, you know it's not the end

We'll always be good friends”

Another song about the end of a relationship, and finding yourself again. There’s a bit of resentment there, but they are learning to be friends again.

29. Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy

“Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight

Let the fire breathe me back to life

Baby you were my picket fence

I miss missing you, now and then”

They’ve gotten over each other and become friends again, but are still nostalgic for the past. Bonus points for references about coming back to life.

30. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day

“For what it's worth

It was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable

But in the end it's right

I hope you had the time of your life”

Ah yes, the song everyone uses to commemorate bittersweet ends- it’s the perfect clincher for this playlist.

I hope you all enjoy listening!

[salamandermemes]

Ricky Montgomery Sentence Starters.

This December:

“Only in my darkest moments can I see the light.” “I think I'm prone to getting blinded when it's bright.” “I'm alright if you're alright.” “Well, this December, I'll remember.” “It's just a little bit lonely in this home.” “Its always colder on your own.” “I let the seasons change my mind.” “I wanna see you with your head wide open.” “It's this state, in this state I'm living in.” “Maybe this December I'll remember.”

Mr. Loverman:

“I'm headed straight for the floor.” “The alcohol served its tour.” “And it's headed straight for my skin, leaving me daft and dim.” “I've got this shake in my legs.” “I'm Mr. Loverman, and I miss my lover, man.” “The ways in which you talk to me, have me wishin' I were gone.” “The ways that you say my name, have me runnin' on and on.” “I'm cramping up.” “You're cracking up.” “I've shattered now I'm spilling out.” “I'm reeling in my brain again, before it can get back to you.” “Oh what am I supposed to do without you?”

Line Without a Hook:

“I don't really give a damn about the way you touch me when we're alone.” “You can hold my hand if no one's home.” “Do you like it when I'm away?” “If I went and hurt my body, baby, would you love me the same?” “I can feel all my bones coming back and I'm craving motion.” “It's a curse and it's growing.” “You're a pond and I'm an ocean.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around.” “I am a wreck when I'm without you.” “I need you here to stay.” “Was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden?” “Listen close, it's a no.” “Oh at last, it is past.” “Now I've got it, and you can't have it.” “Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Tell me, is it worth it?” “She's a, she's a lady, and I am just a boy.”

My Heart Is Buried in Venice:

“Come rest your bones next to me.” “So we can get lost, you and me.” “My heart is buried in Venice, hidden beneath all my worries and doubts.” “My heart is buried in Venice, waiting for someone to take it home.” “Even when you try to hide it, a smile creeps out from your teeth.” “I never thought that I would have to say I'm sorry.” “Say, say what you mean.” “Tell me the truth or tell me you're through.” “Don't leave me to breathe.” “Don't leave me to bleed.”

Snow:

“I’m ready, and down to forget.” “Those drapes on the walls can't shut out the silence.” “Does it suck that I'm not so predictable?” “Sometimes things aren't as plain as they seem.” “Darling, when I go bury me six feet in snow.” “Here we are, wasting our chances for the last time.” “Oh, and when we go I'll try not to be so slow.” “Skeletons, skeletons, what do we have here -- hiding from the mirror.” “Say it once, say it twice, try to be nice.” “Well, let's not lose ourselves.” “Love had left her screaming at the screen.” “And it's understood, that the both of us are no good.” “And I'll always be that short little gloat always clearing his throat, like he ever had something to say.” “Take my mind, take my body.” “Take my father's conscience from me.” “Sister, will you lend me all your strength.” “I’m bringing everyone home.”

Don’t Know How:

“I wanna be your little mister now.” “I wanna be the one that puts you out.” “I wanna do it but I don't know how.” “I wanna be the one that tells you no.” “I wanna be a place that you can't go.” “Lovemaker, but no one knows if you're a heartbreaker.” “But you can't say if you're a life taker, 'cause you can't tell if you're not.” “I wanna be the one that makes you stay.” “I wanna be a name that you can't say.” “I wanna be a word you say at night.” “I wanna be a feeling you can't fight.”

Cabo:

“White hair and white shoes.” “Neoprene beached around a faded blue.” “Do what you can with me and do it quietly.” “Ashes, ashes, dust to dust.” “I think I found a place for us.” “It's down by Garden after dark.” “It's in my arms, it's in my arms.” “And I cannot say a word to you like this.” “Wanna see you, but I gotta resist.” “Valley under me can you tell me it's all wrong 'til it gets to me?”

Get Used to It:

“Used to live down by the beach.” “And I used to be good on my feet.” “And my fingers used to dance on every key.” “Now they’re just pieces of meat.” “Used to wear a suit and tie.” “And I used to grab a birdie every night.” “Drive down to the hotel parking lot, make monkey love in the street.” “Used to go to university, used to be the head of varsity.” “Used to live inside this box with everyone noticin' me.” “I used to leave the evenin' feelin' right.” “I'll be with you each and every night.” “Chasing that horizon in our eyes.” “You want a garden but you got a balcony.” “And you're always lookin' for some company.” “You want a say, well, what you got to say?” “Give in to me, give in to me and see.” “Left not but this envy in my heart and soul.” “Apropos, you're beautiful. You're beautiful.” “Watcha gotta say?” “Give in to me.” “Get used to it, get used to it.”

[jokerownsmysoul]

lovely shades of you

Summary: Arthur x Shy S/O Headcanon

Content: soft, fluff

Warnings: nothing sksk

Word count: 2624

Request: I don't know if this has been done or if it may be hard to write i apologize and um u don't have to do it but maybe an extremely shy female s/o with Arthur?

Request: Hi there! Can you do an hc where the reader is a shy person towards strangers but she's really fun to talk to and she has a great sense of humour once she gets close to people?

A/N: I received these two requests and being very similar I decided to combine them, I hope you don’t mind <3 I’m sorry I took so long, I hope it was worth the wait. Also I’m still very shaky with Hc lmao I truly hope you enjoy it <33

Tag list: @arthurflecksgirl, @octopus-plasma, @weebkyun

A/N: english is not my first language so I apologize for any typos, I’m still learning.

Your relationship was very challenging at the beginning.

You were – are – a very shy person, especially with those you have no confidence with, and Arthur, though he wasn’t as shy as you, still was a man totally inexperienced in love and this led him to be more clumsy than he already was.

Actually you both are still wondering how your lives got mixed up with one another and how you managed to date each other, so shy were you.

Your paths met at Pogo’s one spring evening.

You still remembered the long work day you had to go through and how exhausted you were; the typical tiredness that, you were sure, a pleasant evening at Pogo’s would surely have waned your tiredness even if in the slightest, hoping to wash away the remains of a day you didn’t want to remember.

You noticed Arthur’s presence when the stand-up comedian started performing and Arthur started laughing by following different times and rhythms than the rest of the audience; for some reasons, which you still can’t explain to yourself, this behavior intrigued you, pushing you to turn around and look at the man who this laugh belonged to; a laugh that, you were sure, didn’t bring with it even a little bit of happiness, but only pain.

He was writing in a book completely alone, sitting at a table close enough to the stage, and you kept watching him all night, in secret, as if your presence didn’t need to be revealed.

You were so impressed by this lonely man who seemed hidden by the world, who sat at the first tables but at the same time seemed to have been noticed by no one despite he laughed unevenly compared to other and who seemed to appreciate the same sense of humor you had, that you started going to Pogo’s every night hoping to see him again.

Arthur, for his part, knew quite well this place, the people he met and the familiar faces that came across his way; it was inevitable he’d noticed your presence which day by day became more and more tangible in there.

He noticed a figure who was always on the sidelines, as if your presence in this place was a secret that no one should find out.

You always chose the farther tables from the stage and closest to the exit door, as if you wanted to be sure that you could have left in any moment without too much effort and to pull yourself away from others, hoping that no one would notice your presence there.

Not Arthur, no. He had noticed it.

He had noticed you, and just like you, even though he spend already plenty of time at this place, he started going to Pogo’s in the hope that you would have been there.

Although both of you tried not to be noticed by the other while you were staring each other, it took little time for your eyes to cross.

As much as it took only a second for both of you to recognize in the other a similar light that shone in the same way as your own; you recognized in the other something that had always been in both of your soul as if you were two lights that if mixed together could have been only stronger.

You looked at each other from afar for days as if you both were an unreachable dream of the other. You both felt the weight of the other’s eyes on your bodies and the silent communication that was taking place between you, which day after day became more and more tactile.

Yet none of you dared to make the first move.

The fact that both of you were so clumsy at first created an unspoken game between the two of you for which you both hoped that the other would draw near to you, ending that play of looks which you were both aware of.

You craved one another, yet both of you were afraid of rejection and shy enough to choose to remain in this unchangeable situation rather than approach to the other for real.

When Arthur finally found the courage to approach you, nothing had changed.

He approached you at a slow pace to allow you to go away if you had wanted to, with the fear hidden in his eyes of being rejected and recognizing to himself that his paranoia was true and that the fact that you, of all people, had looked at him in all this time, was another illusion he’d been feeding on for days, a daydream he didn’t want to wake up from.

You couldn’t have said which of the two of you was more blushing every time you looked at each other’s eyes.

You were already dating when one afternoon you were walking together in the streets of a Gotham that this night looked less gloomy than usual.

Arthur was looking at you with the corner of his eye. You kept your head down to look at your feet or up to look at the sky so you would never meet the eyes of every passers-by who crossed your way. With your hair you tried to hide your face as much as possible, your hands kept hidden by the long sleeves of your clothes and the presence of Arthur so close to you made you blushed, provoking in your cheeks a bright red blushing as if next to you there was a hidden ghost who constantly complimented you.

You moved in the shadows as if you wanted the world not to notice your presence, but enough on the surface hoping that Arthur would read in your red cheeks the need to feel his touch.

You wanted to avoid any kind of interaction with others and left unseen, protected in your world.

Unseen, except from him.

Gotham was a chaotic and noisy city, people were bold and cruel, but not you.

In you he had recognized a confidential nature and a kindness that he had never seen in any other person encountered in his life.

He had noticed your gentle attitude and your way of walking in the world by tiptoeing and the only thing he could think about at that moment was the desperate urge he had to kiss you and the fear he felt pressing on his bones and on the pit of his stomach that you would have sent him away.

The desire you both felt for each other at that moment resonated around you and emerged from your souls as an ultrasound that only you could hear. 

Both of you were aware that no matter how stuck in your fears you were that was a wish you couldn’t resist any longer, when Arthur made an endless sigh and in a graceful movement held your hand in his.

You turned to him when you felt his warm skin on yours, caught by a pleasant and sudden tremor throughout your body. The same blush that you had on your cheeks at that moment now also was covering his own as he stopped on the street, held back by a desire he could no longer carried within himself and leading you to stop, his hand still in yours in a soft grasp. 

“What’s wrong, Arthur?”. He looked at you intensely and swore to himself that your red cheeks were his favorite color. “Y/N. I…”

He shrugged in his shoulders as he rubbed his face with his other hand. He could feel your confused and worried look on him as he hoped to absorb all the courage he had never had in his life to take a step forward with you. “There is… there is something I want to do. I... "

Arthur’s eyes were making a graceful movement from your eyes to your mouth and from your mouth to your eyes, then he stared at the asphalt rubbing his hair with a nervous and hasty gesture.

He didn’t know how to get closer, he didn’t know if you would have accepted his touch, he was afraid it was too soon or he would have scared you.

You caught in the movements of his eyes the unspoken desire that his body language had failed to hid and at that moment was unintentionally suggesting to you what he was craving for.

You smiled knowing as you placed your free hand on his arm to hold him in place, hoping to give him some comfort in a reassuring gesture and trying not to let through this gesture all the tension you were feeling up to your bones. "It's okay, Arthur. You can... You can do it."

Arthur lifted up his face to look at you and bent his forehead in an astonished expression. "Did you-. May I?"

"Yeah, I- I mean, if you want..."

Now you were the one looking at the asphalt, hoping to be able to hide the fire you felt on your cheeks and hide yourself from his emerald green eyes that took your breath away as much as they made you breathe at the same time.

You were still staring at the asphalt when Arthur approached you kindly, as if he was waiting for the last remnants of a fear that had not yet completely passed away within him to go away while he was erasing the distance between you two.

He brought his trembling hand on your face and with his forefinger lifted your chin as he approached you slowly, on his fingers he felt your skin trembling with the same rhythm as his. You were both carried by a dance of clumsiness and uncertainty that from the tremor of your skin reached your red cheeks.

He then, finally, laid his lips on yours lightly, touched you gently as if he was afraid of violating the world you were protecting yourself from.

Actually, Arthur was the only person whose presence you loved to have beside you and he was the only person who loved everything about you, even, and especially, all your shyness that made you who you are and that also recognized within himself.

He pulled himself away from you shortly after to study your expression and try to analyze your thoughts. Would you have rejected him? Did he do something wrong? Did his kiss made you change your mind about him?

Your body had been electrified by his lips and to his surprise you started to chuckle one, two, three times, while the bewilderment of Arthur took place on his eyes.

"You’re stealing my role!" You said between one chuckle and another as you carried your hand over his cheek, caressing it gently with your thumb. "I'm usually the only one who blushes that much." You said with your eyes focused on Arthur’s burning cheek; he released a soft laugh from his lips through which even his previous fear had vanished. "Yeah... and usually I'm the only one who makes these kind of jokes."

One was the extension of the other, and you both found in the other something that you recognized to be in you in all this time.

Your gestures always carried with them a carelessness and an irony you both knew well, that you had to learn and to discover at the beginning of your relationship, of which you couldn’t have lived without.

Especially in the early days, when you were still getting used to the presence of the other, when the desire you both felt was stronger than your shyness and expanded through you by laughing together.

In fact it was a beautiful disaster the mutual shyness that was between you because it had made your relationship even more sparkling.

Arthur was the only person who let you slowly approach him by taking your time and loved your shyness with all of himself.

There was nothing about you he didn’t love, actually.

He loved when you were too shy to tell him I love you so you wrote it on the back of his hands using the fingertips of your hands and getting a red smile from him, who each time he couldn’t help but answer you with an I love you too in the same way, or even better by writing it on your lips with his.

He loved when you made him find love letters scattered around the apartment with words you could never say by looking him in the eyes, letters that you have not stopped hiding under his pillow or under the plate where he eats even now, now that you are comfortable with him; you could never breath without seeing the stars in his eyes shining as he read the words of your love dedicated to him, and to him only.

He loved your clumsy and silent caresses which sought him softly and which he could always listen.

He has always been able to listen to the language of your shyness, and you were always grateful for it.

He loved more than anything to notice how day by day your shyness had begun to melt and the ways in which you had turned to him became increasingly intimate and spontaneous, revealing a part of yourself that had always been hidden by that veil of shyness that with him, only with him, carried by his love and his daily presence, got shorter and shorter until it had disappeared.

And he loved that behind this veil of shyness hid a thunderous and ringing laughter that created a sweet and magnetic contrast with your quiet and calm attitude, a laughter that you, day by day, allowed him to hear completely.

He loved the thunderous laughter you only gave to the few people you felt comfortable with and he loved the fact that he was one of them.

To him every moment you spend together was the right moment to tell you a joke and the evenings spent watching Live With Murray Franklin by mixing your synchronized laughters at the sound of the same jokes, he started to love them more to hear you laugh and let you yourself tell him a joke rather than to watch the show itself.

Thanks to you Arthur had learned what it meant to laugh with someone and what it meant to have someone around who knows how to laugh at the world the same way of his.

It became part of your daily life as a couple to read Arthur’s jokes out loud and compete one another in who was better and who invented the funniest jokes. In his opinion you were always the winner and Arthur loved that.

Through your relationship you were both rediscovering yourselves and growing together.

Despite that, there were things neither of you could live without.

You kept writing I love you with your fingers on his skin and to sow love letters in the apartment making him find them as if they were a treasure hunt. When you walked holding hands you continued to avoid the eyes of passers-by but this time, instead of hiding your face with your hair or looking at the sky or the asphalt, you always looked at the only person you could ever love. Arthur.

Your shyness would never have gone away, and it still remains rooted in you by painting your red cheeks every day, but it had become less and less present as you stood beside him, loved him. And Arthur, for his part, through your shyness had learned to smooth the edges of his insecurities.

The one had taught the other to feel comfortable with each other’s presence without losing what made you both fall in love and that lead you both to recognize one another among a thousand.

[blueroseblaze]

Social Distancing

Wordcount: 1697

WARNINGS: none

A little something to tide you guys over during this global crisis

You sat on one side of the couch; cheek pressed into your palm as you sighed annoyedly. The fingers on your other hand drummed against your folded legs. You looked over to the devil hunted on the opposite side of the couch, a full at least 4 feet between you. Nero’s blue eyes met yours and he smiled at you, taking his attention away from the movie you were watching.

It had been a boring week so far. No jobs waiting, no one needed help. Even the demons seemed to be taking a break from terrorizing the locals. Nico stayed home with the van, so you were stranded in your apartment, and even Dante finally decided to actually think for once and stayed home, so you couldn’t even rely on his particular brand on annoying comedy. Leaving you and Nero to entertain yourselves.

You turned your attention back to the movie; you weren’t even paying attention to. Boredom continued to chip away at your soul, until you felt a strange sensation in your scalp. Your hairs was being pulled up gently from your head and then let back down. The sensation repeated and you reached up to inspect the phantom playing with your hair. Your hands gripped the rough yet light material of massive claws.

You looked over to your partner. Nero still sat on his end of the couch, pretending to innocently watch the movie, paying you not even a glance. It was impossible to miss the giant blue luminescent wings that emerged from his back, basking him and you in a faint blue glow. One ethereal clawed hand still gripped his shoulder while the other outstretched towards you, still running the long talons across your scalp.

“What are you doing?” you asked, unable to contain the giggle in your chest.

“Social distancing,” he said simply.

He turned to you, a sweet smile painted across his face as the clawed wing moved to your shoulder, gingerly wrapping the fingers around you and holding you securely. Maybe the next while won’t be so bad after all.

 You and Nero stood a decent meter apart as you walked down the empty streets. In your arms was a large basket filled with freshly baked treats. You were both simply too cooped up in your own home and where desperate from just a little bit of human interaction, however you still respected the rules of isolation. You and Nero both washed your hands and you each carried a mask in your pockets just in case.

Footsteps kept echoing on the cobblestone streets as you continued down the block, occasionally stealing a wave towards a lone dog walker. It was peaceful, and the fresh air was a much-welcomed change.

Your journey started at Kyrie’s place. She had been stuck taking care of the kids all alone with little help. You knew she was capable of handling it, but it was still no doubt troublesome. She was thrilled with your gift of sweets and was not afraid to hug you both before ushering the little ones back inside. She offered you something in return, or to come inside but you politely declined. One because you just wanted to be safe and two because you still had a few more deliveries to make.

Next was Nico, who was more than willing to take your other platter of goodies off your hands, but you kept them out of her grasps long enough for you to wish her good health and be on your way.

“Okay,” you said inspecting your inventory, “One more to go.”

The last stretch of your walk brought you to the stone steps of a building. You climbed the stairs, stopping about two steps away from the top. You briefly pondered how you would ring the doorbell, but a long blue spectral claw answered your inquiry. Nero looked to you and smiled as his winged talons returned to his shoulder.

You tapped your foot eagerly as the door slowly opened inward. You nearly dropped everything in your arms as a dark loud force came at you, nearly knocking you on your ass.

“HEY! No visitors you hear?! We got someone immune comp-. Oh, it’s you.”

Griffon perched himself on the stone railing near the door, ruffling his feathers as the falls of a cane reached your ears.

Long slender fingers curled around the door and a head of raven hair could be seen poking out.

“What is it? Is something wrong?” V asked from behind the door.

“Nothing’s wrong V,” Nero said, “We just wanted to pay you a visit.”

“We know we can’t really hang out with you, so we brought you something to lighten things up. You know, since you’re hear all by yourself.”

“HEY!” the bird cried.

The poet opened the door a little further taking a slight step out, balancing on his sliver cane.

“Don’t come any closer,” Nero demanded.

Suddenly the platter was out of your hands and in Nero’s large ethereal claws. He stretched them out and placed the gently in V’s hands. V pulled the foil away from the top and smiled, inhaling the sweet scent of your baking.

“This is,” he began, “Just what I needed.”

 It was an essential visit to the store. You had run out of toiletries and a few essential foods, and Nero was itching for more of his energy drinks.

“I told you to ration them,” you scolded as you pulled your cart from the que.

He just scoffed and continued to walk in front of you. The store shelves were mostly empty. The poor staff probably had no time to restock. You had planned to be in and out in no time, just grabbing what you needed and keeping out of people’s way. Eventually you lost Nero but didn’t think much of it.

You parked your cart next to a shelf of shampoo, eyeing the stock for your preferred brand. Behind you, you heard a faint impact in your cart, and you turned to see a box of cereal sitting there that you hadn’t picked up. Looking around, you were completely alone in the aisle.

You cocked an eyebrow incredulously and slowly turned back to what you were doing, but only for a few seconds before you heard another item be placed in your cart. You turned and scowled at the family sized bag of chips slumped over in your cart.

“Hmph,” you said, now diverting your gaze to above you. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted a familiar faint blue glow peaking out from behind the shelves. You played coy, and slowly turned your back to your cart again, listening carefully for the sound of rustled feathers and stress of the metal cart.

You quickly spun around and reached out, catching the massive clawed hand in both of yours. You yanked on the limb causing it to drop the tub of chocolate brownie ice cream into your cart.

“Nero,” you warned your voice loud enough to carry into the other aisles, “None of this is on the list.”

“Come on,” he whined from behind the shelves,

“We should only grab what we need.”

“I grabbed your favorite.”

You glanced at the tub in the cart and couldn’t deny your instant sugar craving. You relented and released his wing and giving him a defeated sigh.

“Fine,” you said.

The clawed hand of the wing lingered in front of you, gently caressing your cheek before disappearing.

“Thanks, baby,” Nero said as he stepped out from behind the shelf.

“Oh, shut up and help me pay for and carry this stuff.

 You had been slaving in the kitchen for about an hour now. You wanted to make a nice meal for you and Nero since you were able to snag some good food at the supermarket before everyone else got to it. Funny how all the canned soup was gone, but all the ingredients to make soup were still on the shelves. Nero had offered to help but you wanted to do it yourself. Even though you loved him to death, being cooped up in your home made you yearn for a little personal time. Currently he left you alone to work on his own projects out in the garage.

As you set the table you heard the faint sound of the garage door opening, followed by familiarly heavy footfalls. Your snowy headed lover turned the corner and smiled at you. He approached you, arms outstretched for a hug and you could see the dirt and grime on his hands, you quickly dodged it, ducking under his arm and spinning around to his backside.

“Oh no you don’t,” you said, “Not until you wash your hands, mister.”

He pouted and attempted to argue but was quickly shot down by the look you were giving him. He dramatically slumped his shoulders and sulked to the kitchen. You stood by patiently waiting for the squeak of the faucet.

Dinner was simple and enjoyable. Quiet above all else. You learned quickly that talking wasn’t necessary between you two. You didn’t need words you just needed each other’s presence. You would giggle as you caught Nero’s eyes while he scarfed down his food. And he would only give that dopey smile in return with sauce still on his chin.

The night went on without much fanfare. Clean up after dinner, a couple movies, showers, and bed. Nero was in bed before you, waiting under the covers. You washed your hands for the final time that night and shut off your bathroom light.

You climbed onto your side of the bed, noting the pillow in between you two. You sneered at it before picking it up and flinging it over your shoulder and regaining your rightful place under Nero’s arm, head on his chest, reveling in his heartbeat.

“You’re not worried about getting sick?” he chuckled.

“Only thing I need to be worried about is being lovesick.” You joked tiredly.

“Dork.” He rolled his eyes, squeezing you closer to his chest and pressing a kiss into your hair.

“Hmm, I love you,” he hummed as he turned off the light, “Virus be damned.”

[teawithkpop]

⚜ What Love Takes - Pt 1 ⚜

⚜  Pairing: BTS - Jimin x Reader and Namjoon x Reader

⚜  Rating: Mature [18+] - swearing, maybe some eventual smut(?), mostly just sexual tension and bickering and some reluctant soul searching

⚜  Length: 6.2k words

⚜  Genre: Magic AU - a magic system very much inspired by the novel Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

⚜  Warnings: swearing - mostly at inanimate objects, some magical manipulation, very large rodents, feeling inadequate

oh my god I am so excited for this *inhales* phewwwww okay here we go <33

——-

You stare at the tart, cooling on the table. You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t this time.

Your fingers twitch, your jaw works. He’ll be here any minute.

You tap your fingers, trying to keep them busy.

There’s no need. He’ll say yes.

He has to say yes.

You’ve made this tart with no ulterior motives, you try to tell yourself. Just a nice treat for your beloved Jimin after a long day of Elven Court meetings. Just something a loving fiance would do for her loving betrothed with no magical persuasion in mind whatsoever.

Bullshit.

You grab the tart and pull it close to you on its delicate little saucer.

“Now listen here, you little bitch,” you mutter to the pastry. “You’d better taste absolutely amazing, alright?” Your fingers dapple over the edges of the crust, focusing your intent on the tart. “When he takes a bite out of you, it’ll be an orgasmic experience for his beautiful taste buds. You hear me? He’ll be so stunned by how good you taste… that he’ll agree to anything.”

Guilt curls in your stomach, mixing with the familiar tingle of satisfaction that always travels through you after casting an enchantment.

You hate doing this. It’s become a dirty little secret of yours.

But you can’t take any risks when it comes to Jimin, especially not now. Not when you’re so close to being able to provide the life for him that he’s always wanted.

You’re doing it for him.

At least, that’s what you tell yourself when you can’t fall asleep at night.

You hear the front door close and hastily shove the tart back to the other side of the table, getting up and wiping your hands on your pinafore as though to cleanse them of your sins.

“Hey, sweetness.” You greet Jimin with an automatic smile, and watch as he hangs up his coat. “How was court?”

“Awful,” Jimin sighs, a distinct droop in his slight shoulders. “The faeries still insist on their terms, even though father has told them countless times that we can’t afford to lose any more land. And the new agreement with the covens is just making… mountains of paperwork.”

You nod with sympathy. “Still no news from Altrea, huh?”

He rubs his forehead, his eyes scrunched shut, and shakes his head.

You cluck your tongue. “My poor prince. Working so hard.”

He gives a humorless laugh, and finally glances at you. Your heart does a flip. “I’m not a prince, I’m only the son of a Baron.” He looks away, his expression growing distant. “If I were a prince, then I would at least have the power to help my people.”

“Oh, Jimin.” You come over to him and cup his cheek in sympathy. Even though he’s only half-elf, Jimin is the only son of his father, and therefore he’s still expected to earn his own chair in the Elven Court and become his father’s successor. It’s a lot of pressure for him. Your touch is gentle as you caress his face and squeeze his arm reassuringly. “You’re my prince.”

He gives you a weak, half smile, and your heart sinks. You need to make him happy again, you need to help him feel better. It kills you inside to see him like this.

“I have a surprise for you.” You move your hand up from his cheek to gently smooth out his buttery hair, wishing you could just as easily smooth the wrinkles from between his brows. You take both of his hands in yours. “Come on.”

You giggle as you pull him into the kitchen, presenting the tart with a flourish. “Tada!”

A skeptical smile lifts the corner of his mouth. “You baked again?”’

“Hey, this time, I actually used a recipe,” you retort. At least, you presume the baker at the market had used one…

He laughs, clear and sweet, the sound like raindrops tickling the pavement, cooling the air in the warmth of summer. It heals your very soul. You wish you could hear it more often.

“Alright, I’ll bite.” He walks over to examine the tart. “What is it?”

“Cherry tart with a honey ginger glaze,” you proudly recite the bakery window’s description. “It only took, like, eight attempts to get it right.”

Eight attempts at enchanting it to seem fresh-baked-warm before Jimin had arrived.

He laughs again, and your eyes glitter with adoration. You pull out his chair for him. “Here, sit down. Taste it.”

Once he takes his seat, you rest your hands on his shoulders, squeezing and pressing the tension out of them.

He lifts the tart off the saucer, holding it up to the light and admiring it. “It looks pretty good. Much better than last time. You did a good job.”

You preen quietly at the praise, though you know you haven’t earned it. “Go ahead. Take a bite,” you insist, leaning down to press a light kiss his cheek.

You wait breathlessly as he licks his plush lips and sinks his teeth into the flaky crust. A warm puff of steam escapes and wafts up to tickle your nose, sweet and spicy.

“How is it?” You ask, nerves buzzing.

He hums in reply, his mouth full of gooey, warm cherry filling. He closes his eyes, tilts his head back, savoring the taste. It’s working.

“Does it taste good?” You prompt him, trailing kisses up to the tips of his delicately pointed ears.

“Amazing,” he manages, stuffing another bite into his mouth. He moans. “Fuck… this tastes so good…”

You smile coyly, putting a little more pressure into his shoulder rub, in just the right places. He sighs in ecstasy. “Jimin,” you whisper, while he’s in the throes of the enchantment. “I have some good news.”

He nods, seemingly too distracted to give a verbal response.

“So you know how I’ve been training for my protectorate,” you begin, and he nods, hastily taking another bite. “Well, I just got word this morning that I passed my final exam.”

This makes him turn around in his chair, and you feel a flutter in your stomach.

“What? That’s amazing!” He says, the news seemingly providing him with a moment of clarity.

“I know!” You agree, your heart beating against your chest like a restless bird in a cage. It takes quite a bit of effort to stick one’s head above the waters of an enchantment, and the notion that your accomplishment stirred that kind of response in Jimin… it’s exactly the kind of attention you crave from him.

All too soon, his gaze turns back to the pastry, and you’re forced to tuck the morsel of praise away to bask in later. You return to the task at hand, striking while the iron is hot, or in this case while Jimin is still moaning over the cherry tart.

“So,” you begin again, extending the massage up to the base of his neck. He leans his head forward, shivering in pleasure. “I only have one more practical test before I get my license. I’ve been assigned to go stay at a cottage in Withre for a whole month and keep it safe.”

He nods distantly, completely absorbed in his own chewing. “Make sure to bring an escort for travelling. The roads between… mm, here and Withre can be… dangerous in winter.”

You bristle. Not exactly the reaction you were hoping for.

“Of course, but… I was thinking,” You lower your voice, kissing at his elegant neck, his skin soft as rose petals. “Maybe we could go together?”

He tenses. You rush through the rest of your proposal, slipping your arms around his shoulders in a hug as if to keep him here with you.

“I know we’re getting married in the spring, but we’ve barely had time to spend together, between my training and your studying. So I thought this could be a good way for us to forget about our worries and take some time alone together, like an… early honeymoon?”

Your voice grows thin on that last part. You feel desperate and you hate it.

He sets down the tart and slowly stands up from his chair, turning to face you, taking both of your hands in his. “I would love to,” he says.

You smile, a wave of giddy relief washing over you.

“But I can’t.”

The wave evaporates, and your smile falls.

“You have to understand, I have so much shit to deal with this month,” he explains, raking his hand through his hair. “There’s new proposals, a bill has to be passed, the people are protesting…” He comes a bit closer, his eyes pleading. “If I step away, it’ll reflect badly on my father.”

You nod automatically. “I understand,” you hear yourself say.

“Thank you.” He gives you a brief smile, pulling you in for a hug. You nuzzle into the crook of his neck, taking whatever drops of comfort you can get from his embrace to sprinkle onto the burning pit of disappointment in your heart.

He sighs. “If it weren’t for all these meetings, then maybe-” His eyes widen. “Oh, shit. The meeting!”

He groans and rips himself away from you, dashing for the door again. “Sorry, I have to go, I forgot about the goddamn council meeting!” He flings his coat over his shoulders, calling out to you as he wrenches the door open. “I won’t be back until late! Don’t wait up for me.”

The door slams, and you’re left alone.

It feels like he took a piece of your soul with him, leaving you hollow in his frenzied wake. It’s not the first time this has happened, in fact it’s been getting more and more frequent as Jimin prepares to earn his own seat in the Court.

But it still hurts every time.

You survey your surroundings. The cozy glow of the kitchen from before now feels dim and lonely. The half-eaten tart rests haphazardly on its saucer, mocking you.

You glare at the pastry accusingly. That enchantment should have worked, he should have said yes.

You sigh, planting a hand on your hip, and squint at the traitorous tart. “It’s because I called you a little bitch, isn’t it?”

——-

The following week, your bags are packed, your passage is arranged, and travelling enchantments are cast on both you and your carriage. You bid Jimin farewell on his way to work, and promise to write to him every day.

He presses a hasty kiss to your forehead before he leaves, and you savor the feeling. The spot where his lips touched you stays warm as you head out into the wintery landscape.

Though winter only has a month left before it blows out, it sure is giving its all while it still can. Through the carriage windows, you witness the bitter wind stirring up the snow drifts along the once grassy hills of your hometown. Snow is falling at a quiet, steady pace, but you know it will become a relentless barrage once you reach the valley between here and Withre.

Before leaving, you’d tried to make your driver as safe and comfortable as possible by casting a ward around him to keep him snow free and provide some amount of vision in the blurry whiteness. You’d also given him some flamestones to keep in his pockets for warmth.

He had seemed quite grateful for your help and at first was reluctant to accept your generosity, but you’d assured him that it was no trouble.

This is why you’re training to be a Protector, to help people.

Well, more specifically, to help one person. Jimin.

You’ve had a natural aptitude for magic since you were young, and although you were studying under your professor to grow and develop your skills, you weren’t sure what to do with them. Until you met Jimin.

When you found out about Sworn Protectors, a class of magic users who dedicate their lives to protecting their chosen being, binding their souls together for eternity, needless to say, you had decided on your major.

It’s the perfect way for you to keep Jimin safe, grow closer to him, impress his father, and ensure that the two of you stay together forever.

Ensure that he doesn’t leave you.

——-

It only takes a day’s travel to arrive at the cottage, though you almost can’t make out the building in its snow covered glory. Your professor wasn’t joking when he said the place was abandoned.

You thank your driver and wish him a safe journey back.

“Are you sure you won’t need any help, miss?” The young man asks, ready to step down and help you carry your luggage.

“It’s alright, I only have one,” you insist, hauling your trunk down to the snow-covered walkway. “Thank you, though.”

You flash the driver a smile, and he gives you a hesitant one in return. My, he really is young. He can’t have been much older than you were when you and Jimin first met two years ago.

“What is your name?” You ask him on a whim, wanting to thank him properly for his service.

“Jungkook, miss.” He replies with a polite nod.

“Do you have anyone special in your life, Jungkook?” Something inside compels you to ask him.

He starts at the personal question, the reigns in his hands growing slack. “Uh, n-no, miss. Just my mother. She’s getting on in years… I’m her only son.”

You nod knowingly, and reach into the satchel at your hip. You dig around for a moment and produce the boy’s payment, and something extra. “Here, take this.” You deposit the coins into his hands, along with a pouch containing a few springs of herb.

“What is it?” He asks, peering inside the pouch.

“Rampion root,” you reply. “It has many healing properties. If you add a leaf into tea, it can help soothe aches and pains. It might help your mother.”

He looks at you with rounded eyes, taken aback by the kind gesture.

“No need to thank me,” you assure him before he can. “Just… go home. Be with her.”

He stares at you for a moment as the snow falls around the both of you, then he nods. “I will,” he promises, and gives you a grateful smile. He then pulls on the reigns to turn the horses around, clicking his tongue to spur them into action.

You watch as he leaves, glad that at least someone tonight will be with the one they care about most. Soon the carriage disappears through the snowfall, and you’re truly left all alone, made even more evident by the chill in the air. You stand at the entrance to your home for the next month.

The temperature has thankfully become only freezing instead of unbearably bitter, and you wrap your travelling cloak more snugly around yourself as you produce the key you’d been given, carefully unlocking the door.

The wind helps you to push it inward, and becomes your adversary once you’re inside, as you lean your weight to shove the door shut against the howling gale. Soon you’re standing on a welcome mat, dusting the snow off your cloak. Night is fast approaching, and you can only make out some vague outlines of the room in which you’re standing.

You reach for the necklace tucked away in your bodice, at the end of which hangs a dark, oblong crystal. “Light up,” you murmur to it, stroking the stone with your thumb. “Come on, I was warm in the carriage. You should have enough.”

The crystal reluctantly obeys, sputtering and shimmering to life. Charged by your own body heat, it radiates a small ring of light, allowing you to see enough to navigate the dark foyer.

“Perfect, thank you.” You give the crystal a grateful tap with your finger.

You can’t make out much of the decor, but the foyer is fairly barren, only one narrow table against the wall and a coat rack near the door. There are cobwebs in the corners, and upon closer inspection, you see dust on every surface.

The place is, in fact, pretty filthy from what you can observe, much to your dismay. You’ll have to clean your new home before you can settle in? You’re here to defend this place from magical threats, not become its housemaid.

A rather immature groan comes forth from your chest as you take off your coat and hang it up. Using your crystal to guide you, you finally locate the nearest lamp in a sconce on the wall. You reach up and into the lamp a bit awkwardly and snap your fingers, generating a couple of sparks. It takes a few tries, but the lamp eventually catches, and a warm glow emanates from it.

You sigh. It’ll take forever to kindle the lamps in every room like this, let alone the fireplaces. You’re terrible at domestics on your own, and only barely passable with help from your magic. How are you supposed to even clean the place, let alone look after it, with no light?

“Wish they would just light themselves…” you mutter as you turn around to grab your trunk, letting your lightstone hang around your neck.

But as you take the handle of your luggage, you realize that the stone is growing darker.

“What? Hey!” You grasp the darkening crystal and glare at is accusingly. “Don’t you fucking dare. You’re supposed to stay on until it’s…” you trail off, looking around the room as you realize all the sconces are now as bright as the first one, tiny flames flickering within the dusty glass.

“… light,” you finish, numbly tucking the dark crystal away to charge for later.

You’d wished for the lamps to light themselves and now they have.

Is the cottage itself enchanted?

“I wish Jimin was here,” you say out loud, gripping the handle of your trunk as you wait in wary anticipation.

Nothing.

“Typical,” you mutter as you trudge onward, choosing to explore the door on the left, your disappointment turning quickly to irritation. “Stupid fucking house and it’s stupid fucking lamps…”

You survey the next room and find it to be just as filthy as the first. A quaint sitting area, with high ceilings and musty couches and a fireplace at the opposite end from where you stand. A fire is already blazing in the hearth, crackling comfortably despite the less than comfortable state of the room.

You huff derisively and move on.

The room adjacent turns out to be the kitchen, with an old iron stove, warm wooden panelling on the walls, and cracked tiles beneath your feet.

“Whole house is gross…” you mutter, investigating the cabinets. Thankfully you find plenty of bread and cheese, as well as some fresh vegetables. Your brows draw together.

“Who would come here just to stock the pantry?” You wonder aloud, closing the lower cabinets and reaching for the upper ones. “There would be footprints in all this dust if someone-”

You freeze.

A huge rodent sits within the cabinet, staring right back at you with impossibly large eyes, its cheeks stuffed full.

It leaps right at you from out of the cupboard. You let out an undignified shriek and stumble backward as it lands on the floor with a thump and scampers away.

Your mouth hangs open. Mice?

No fucking way. That was way too big to be a mouse.

What are you doing, flinching away from household pests? You’re supposed to be protecting this place. Pull yourself together.

You swallow your shame from such an obvious failure at the first sign of intruders, even if they are of the clawed and furry variety, and retrieve a ribbon from your satchel.

“Come here, you little scamp…”

You crouch down, peering beneath the kitchen table and cabinetry. “Where did you go?” You wonder aloud. You hadn’t seen which way the thing went. Most likely straight ahead, back through the door to the living room.

You search the whole ground floor, and discover that the other door in the kitchen leads to the foyer again, making a complete circuit through the house.

The only place still left unexplored is the second floor. You head to the far side of the living room, where a small alcove and a rickety staircase is waiting for you.

Can mice climb stairs?

Not usually. But who knows if that thing was really a rodent at all? It could have been some other type of vermin. One that can jump.

Without waiting another moment, you carefully climb up the stairs, your nerves jumping with every wooden creak beneath your feet.

“If the damned thing is upstairs, the noise will scare it off,” you mutter, resentful that they neglected to include a handrail on the design of this particular rickety old staircase. You bump against the wall on your way up, and a pile of dust falls on you from somewhere overhead.

You cough, wiping your face.

“Fuck, I’ll be lucky if I survive in this place for a month. Never mind protecting it.”

Your moaning is interrupted by the sight of your furry foe, sitting on the top stair without a care in the world, and munching on whatever he’d stored in his cheeks.

Your eyes gleam. “There you are…”

You carefully withdraw your ribbon again, holding it in front of you as you edge closer.

“That’s it…” you murmur, planting a hand on the dirty step in front of you for balance. “Don’t move.”

The creature stares up at you, its eyes impossibly wide. All you need to do is catch the thing so you can put it outside, you don’t want to hurt it.

Once you get close enough to the creature, you whisper your intent to the ribbon. “Tie him up. Make it quick.”

The thing’s ears flatten, and it darts away from you before the magic can work, claws scrabbling on the wooden floor. The ribbon animates too late, tying itself into a bow around… nothing.

“No!” You let out a groan of frustration and a string of foul language. Your concentration breaks and the ribbon falls lifelessly to the floor while you chase after the furry little beast. “Come back here!”

You follow the creature as it clamours down the hallway and can only watch in helpless agony as it disappears through a hole in the crumbling floorboard.

You kick the wall in frustration. “Stupid house! Stupid fucking mouse… rat… thing! Ugh…” You sink down with your back against the wall, slumped in defeat.

You don’t care what your professor told you. You’re not ready for this. You just don’t have enough skill in the practical applications of defensive magic. Good scores on your written tests aren’t enough.

You can’t even get rid of a household pest on your own. What hope do you have of becoming a Protector? How did you even get this far?

Self-doubt creeps up on you until you’re left frowning at the floorboards, a painful ache in your chest as you mull over the looming and dubious and lonely days ahead of you.

You hug your knees to your chest. This isn’t how things are supposed to go. Jimin is supposed to be here with you.

He would be here, if you hadn’t messed up the enchantment.

The floor feels too cold, and the wind howls harshly outside, you can hear it through the thin walls. The house is filthy. Infested. You’re all alone.

You sigh, taking deep breaths. You will not cry on your first day. It doesn’t matter that no one’s here to see it, you won’t let yourself be intimidated by a…

You hear a scuffling noise and glance up to see the creature, sitting right out in the open. It’s staring at you, head cocked to the side, only a foot away from the toe of your shoe.

“What do you want?” You grouse bitterly.

Its ear twitches. Whiskers wiggle.

“Look, I’m not in the best of moods right now, okay? Just… go away.” Your head slumps forward again, and you turn away, too tired and irritated to care that you’re talking to an animal as if it understands you.

You hear its little paws as it scampers away from you, and you let out a sigh. Maybe you will have a cry after all.

But before you can work up to it, the scrabbling noise returns.

You look up from your puffy-eyed pity party.

The thing has your ribbon in its mouth. Its long orange teeth clamp onto the fabric as it warily approaches you.

“What?”

The thing pauses and looks at you, maintaining eye contact. It slowly paws forward and drops the ribbon at your feet.

You stare at the ribbon, then the thing.

“Uh… thank you,” you say with uncertainty.

The thing twitches its whiskers, and then retreats to the opposite wall. It parks itself, then fishes out a white lump from within its cheek to munch on. The lump’s edges dulled from the thing’s teeth. It doesn’t look like cheese.

You’re momentarily distracted from your despair by the bizarre sight.

“Is that… sugar?” You ask, squinting to get a better view of the lump.

The thing pauses its gnawing and meets your eyes, as if caught in the act of stealing cookies from the jar.

You snort. It is kind of cute, for a pest. You know, when its very existence isn’t undermining your goals and ambitions in life.

The thing goes back to eating, and you glance down at the ribbon at your feet. It didn’t even leave any marks from its teeth.

“What are you?” You ask, mostly to yourself. Now that you have a chance to observe it, it looks like some sort of rodent, but it’s the size of a rabbit. The thing ignores you, and keeps munching away. 

You’re not very well-versed in magical creatures aside from the harmful ones. It could be a shapeshifter, like a Whoose. But if it was a Whoose, it would have already attempted to rob you of your valuables. This thing just returned something to you.

The longer you watch it eat, the more you come to think that it’s probably harmless.

“What’s your name, huh?” You wonder. You wish you could ask your professor about it. Seokjin has no shortage of books in his library about everything magical, and you would often find him reading before your lessons.

Seokjin would know what this thing is. Jimin would too, probably. He’s been tutored in every subject imaginable since his birth.

Yet another area in which you’re lacking.

You shove down the thoughts of inadequacy and instead adjust your position to sit more comfortably, not caring whether the floor gets your clothes dusty. The creature freezes as you move, but seems to realize you aren’t chasing him at the moment, and quickly goes back to nibbling.

The thing finishes off the lump of sugar and stares at its empty paws. It takes a breath that sounds uncannily like a sigh, and starts to clean its whiskers.

You list your head to the side, sizing up the thing. “You still hungry?”

Its ears perk up, and it swivels its head to face you.

——-

You let the thing sit on the kitchen counter, munching away on more sugar cubes you found in the cupboard. It’s not that big of a deal. You prefer honey anyways, so it’s not like you have a use for it.

Besides, you reason with yourself, if you keep the thing in your sights, then it can’t cause any trouble to the house. You’re still doing your job. Technically.

It is cute, though, with its enormous eyes and strange fuzzy tail, a tuft of fur on the end of it, like a bottle brush.

“I must call you something, you little scamp,” you say to it, leaning back against the counter and casting the creature a sidelong glance.

It seems to know you’re talking to it, and pauses gnawing on the sugar cube to look back at you, its wide eyes blinking.

“Scamp.” You tilt your head to the side, giving the name a try.

It twitches its whiskers, then goes back to eating. Well, he doesn’t seem to object.

“Alright. Scamp it is. Nice to meet you.” You feel silly talking to a rodent, but it does feel better than being utterly alone with your thoughts.

You reach forward and tentatively pet down the creature’s back. Scamp doesn’t seem to mind, too absorbed in his eating. “I suppose we’ll be seeing each other a lot over the next few weeks. I have to stay here for my training. I’m becoming a Sworn Protector.”

Scamp drops the cube, and stares up at you, his eyes impossibly wider than before. Then without warning, he turns and darts up your arm.

“Hey! Get off! What are you doing?” You reel back on instinct, swatting at the little creature.

But to your surprise, he only climbs up to sit on your shoulder. You’re afraid he might bite you, but after a moment, all you feel is whiskers tickling your neck.

“You…” Warily, you look at him, perched on your shoulder like a parrot. “You want to stay there?”

He makes a rumbling noise, almost like a purr.

“You’d better not bite me,” you warn, reaching up to pet the creature between the ears.

Scamp seems content to stay there, so you deposit another sugar cube in his delicate paws, and then decide to finish exploring the house before it gets too much later. You’re already growing tired from the long journey and the soporific effect of the weather outside.

Visiting upstairs the second time proves to be much less exasperating, though the lack of handrail is still an inconvenience. There are only three doors upstairs, spaced out along the hallway. It seems like a strange design, why would they need so much room?

You soon find out, as the first door on the left opens up into a ridiculously large bathroom. There are two soaking tubs, a line of three sinks, and two toilets. Did this cottage once belong to a small group of students?

It makes even less sense as you check the next and final door on the left, which contains a master bedroom. One bed, two nightstands, and a small area with a cozy chair for reading by the fireplace.

Alright, so maybe the other door, which is the only one on the right side of the hallway, contains more beds. You begin to imagine a small class of perhaps four or five pupils, and their headmaster or mistress, living and learning together in this once cozy cottage.

The image is dashed as you open the last door to find a vast, sprawling library. Shelves much higher than you’d thought possible for such a small place line every wall, and multiple reading tables stand at intervals along the room. It feels like you stepped into a whole different building.

Scamp leaps off your shoulder with surprising agility and begins to explore the room as you do. The rest of the cottage feels warm and wooden, but this room… it feels dead. Forgotten. Even the air feels different, a sort of chill about it that makes you wish you still had your cloak with you.

There’s dust coating the floor to no one’s surprise, grime visible even on the vast carpet. There are large windows here and there, breaking up the patterns of bookshelves, and the panes are spiderwebbed with designs like stained glass. One window on the far end of the room is shattered, and the gaping hole is letting in snow and bitter wind.

Ah, so that explains the cold.

You could use magic to keep something stuck there perhaps, but it would require the usual thing to repair it, like a new pane of glass, or even some wood. If the glass had broken inward instead of out, then you could possibly reassemble and hold the pieces together with enough intent. But you can’t simply make the hole disappear as it is, just like you can’t make Jimin appear in front of you.

You look around for something to cover the hole, but don’t find anything suitable.

Looming dread hangs over you like a stormcloud from being faced with yet another task that’s beyond your skill set.

“Well, that’s fine.” You blatantly push away the negative thoughts and scoop up Scamp from where he’d been sniffing beneath a table, placing him back onto your shoulder. “We don’t need books anyway. It’s not letting a draft in to the rest of the house, and frankly that’s all that matters to me.”

You leave the library and shut the door tightly. “What we really need now is some food.”

Scamp lets out a curious little grunt, which you take as an agreement, and you begin to make your way back down to the kitchen.

“So, do you eat anything besides sugar?”

——-

As it turns out, Scamp will eat just about anything. You feed him a small wedge of potato while you figure out what to do with the rest of your rations.

You ought to cook something, but there’s really no way. You wouldn’t know the sharp end of a knife if it poked you.

“What to do…” You glance around helplessly, your eyes landing on various implements and ingredients, most of which are foreign to you. You stand in place, feeling utterly helpless and hating every moment of it.

Come on, now. Think basic. You glance over to Scamp and his wedge of potato.

Why not a hash? Your mother used to make it. All it should take is potatoes and a pan. Simple enough… right?

Well, after burning yourself on your own sparks trying to ignite the unfamiliar stovetop, nicking your thumb while peeling potatoes with a paring knife, and singeing the edge of your sleeve on the fire, you determine that it is not at all simple enough.

“Fine!” You give the pan a shove, fed up with its hostility. “Burn, for all I care! I’m sick of this place, I’m sick of it already, and it’s only been…” You trail off helplessly, suppressing a cry of despair.

Scamp is looking at you, but this time his eyes aren’t wide at all, they’re narrowed suspiciously. You glare right back at him.

“Don’t you go judging me now! I’ve had enough of that from everyone else, I don’t need it from household vermin.”

His whiskers twitch and after a moment he scampers off, disappearing somewhere else in the house. Your only companion, now gone as well.

“Oh sure, go ahead and leave me!” You shout after the creature, your rage quietly diminishing to painful embers of regret. “Everyone else has.”

You slump forward onto the counter and heave a weary sigh, resting your head atop your folded arms. You’re a hopeless excuse for someone who seeks a protectorate. All you do is lie and lash out and hurt people. You don’t mean for it to happen, until it’s too late. Even stovetops and rodents aren’t immune to your fits.

You hate feeling sorry for yourself, but looking at your situation, you can’t help feeling ashamed. What once seemed like a simple task of staying here has quickly become a towering monster, one you’re utterly unprepared to face. You can’t even cook a meal for yourself, let alone look after anything else.

You could live off the fruits and vegetables, but honestly, how long will they last in this harsh of a winter? Withre is known for its farmlands, which means the nearest town will be a long walk away.

You feel a mounting sense of panic, bordering on claustrophobic. Forget protecting this place, how will you feed yourself?

Okay. Okay, calm down. You take a steadying breath, gripping the edge of the counter as you push yourself up. Maybe there are books in the library with recipes that could help. Maybe… maybe there are some cupboards you haven’t opened yet.

You groan. This is so stupid. You shouldn’t have to fret over something like this. You should know how to handle these situations by now.

But you don’t.

The sense of lacking scrapes away inside you, gouging you out and filling you with shame.

You can’t do this alone. Your thoughts wander hopelessly back to that image you’d conjured before, of students living and learning here together. Helping each other, taking care of this house and themselves. That’s what you need.

You wish you had some companions, some people to live and study here with you. That would make this whole experience far less tortuous.

Honestly, just one person would be enough. One person who will care for you, who can look out for you. You wish-

“Jimin,” you sob quietly, burying your head in your hands.

No sooner does his name leave your lips than you hear the unmistakable noise of the front door banging open.

Your heart picks up speed. Is it really him? It must be. Who else but your true love would come all the way out here this late, and in this kind of weather, just to see you?

Maybe the house is enchanted after all.

You rush out of the kitchen, wiping away your remaining tears, and burst into the entry hall to see him standing with his back to you, brushing the snow from his cloak. Your heart swells at the sight of him.

“Jimin!” You cry, running towards the snowy figure. It’s only as he turns around to face you that you can see he’d been slouching. He’s too tall to be Jimin.

You stagger backward. He’s definitely not Jimin.

A stranger has entered the cottage you’re supposed to protect.

⚜ ------- ⚜

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[wintcrdvst]

𝐃𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐂 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! under the cut you will find a masterlist of 213 quotes that can be used for otps, brotps and possibly even notps. these were gathered from various sources such as songs and pinterest for personal use, but i figured i might as well share. give a like or reblog if this was useful to you, and enjoy !!

her lips are like the galaxy’s edge

i’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck

surrounded by the what if’s and the maybe’s

we’ll be the last ones standing

all that’s left is you and me

you are the light at the end of the road

you are my favorite what if

every single moment will be faded into you

still remember a time when you felt like home

i see the love i have and it is all for you

the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you

i found god‚ i found him in a lover

he’s off to pay his crimes and he’s got no time for mine

oh baby girl you know we’re gonna be legends

you know the two of us are just young gods

i’m a king and you’re a queen and we will stumble through heaven

if you wanna go to heaven you should fuck me tonight

if i am the waves then you must be the moon

temperatures rising‚ i don’t want to feel

been wondering if your heart’s still open and if so i wanna know what time it shuts

open up next to you and my secrets become your truth

i only love it when you touch me‚ not feel me

tell me that you love me even if it’s fake

whatever our souls are made of‚ his and mine are the same

every moment with you sounds like welcome home

you say my name and it comes out like a dark confession

my love for you is the only thing i’m sure of

the devil kissed my neck and it felt like heaven

it’s our paradise and it’s our warzone

this is what happens when a tornado meets a volcano

i’m running in circles watching you call someone else’s name

all i want is the taste that your lips allow

your eyes hold everything my soul thirsts for

every bit of love that i possess within me, all of it, is just for you

of all the things my hands have held the best by far is you

no other word makes my mouth as tender as your name

my heart is so full of you i can hardly call it my own

my soul will find yours

in a room full of art i’d still stare at you

they know you walk like you’re a god‚ they can’t believe i made you weak

i would kill to be the cold tracing your body and shaking your bones

i was a king under your control

perhaps the monsters needed to look out for each other every now and then

he knows me‚ every inch of my tar black soul

souls don’t speak‚ yet ours spoke fluently

you are the only place that feels like home

bite my neck and call me angel

we were fire and water‚ love laced with sin

my demons are in love with yours

you were like death and i was like war‚ and where we collided‚ darling‚ i loved you

i have looked at you in millions of ways and i have loved you in each

you gave me peace in a lifetime of war

if you’re gonna be the death of me that’s how i wanna go

my love‚ you are worth it all

she chased away my demons with the stars in her eyes

his hands on my flesh‚ so gentle yet commanding‚ make me want to sin

there’s a light in the crack that’s separating your thighs

swear to god i’m a sinner in a church burnin’ up for you

we fight every night for something‚ when the sun sets we’re both the same

i gave you everything and it’s a beautiful crime

made it through the maze to find my one in a million

maybe i’ll hold my breath and jump right in

i want to reconcile the violence in your heart

i want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

you may be a sinner but your innocence is mine

she took my heart‚ i think she took my soul

fucked around and got attached to you

you were sent to me from the skies above

give me love and all your hate

i’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

i dare you to let me be your one and only

you have my heart inside of your hand

with the same damn hunger to be touched‚ to be loved‚ to feel anything at all

please don’t forget me and all the things we did

we sin as devils do‚ we love as angels do

hell is just another place i’ll go to keep you warm

how does it feel with my teeth in your heart

do you know what it means to have death know your name

when i see you‚ it feels like coming home

i want to build you an empire that forgets to collapse

i crave you; even in the darkness‚ even in blood

i loved you long before i had the guts to let you know

i always feel at home with her‚ no matter how far away from home we are

death sits in the seat next to me; we make a lovely couple

with his educated eyes and his head between my thighs

i fell in love with the subject of sin

you come in waves

when hell freezes over

i’ll let you drag me through hell if it means you’ll hold my hand

until the end of the world

i know your heart

you and i and no one else

anytime you need a friend i’m gonna be by your side

how wonderful life is with you in the world

i could be yours

i know you used to love me in every way

i loved and i loved and i lost you and it hurts like hell

i wish you were a ship that was guided by the touch of my lips

the two of us went up in smoke

yours are the sweetest eyes i’ve ever seen

let me love the lonely out of you

falling seems so easy

no matter where you go you know you’re not alone

i’ll always be by your side

your eyes are where i’m lost in

i wanna get lost with you

i loved you then and i love you now

haunted by the ghost of you

if you don’t mind me saying so i love you

as long as you say you’re mine

take away all my sin‚ give me a sweet prayer on my lips

i will follow you into the dark

you’re a king and i’m a lionheart

as the world comes to an end i’ll be here to hold your hand

i find shelter in your arms

put your lips close to mine as long as they don’t touch

i swear i thought i dreamed her

maybe i just wanna be yours

the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day

i want you to want me again

never knew loving could hurt this good

you’re driving me wild

i can be the subject of your dreams

i had fallen in love with you before i knew

like the dawn you broke the dark

when we go crashing down we come back every time

like gods at the dawning of the world

i would know him in death‚ at the end of the world

he is half of my soul like the poets say

i wanna ruin our friendship‚ we should be lovers instead

i don’t wanna be your friend‚ i wanna kiss your neck

your eyes will lead me straight back home

friends shouldn’t kiss me like you do

remember my love for you won’t fade

for your eyes only i will show my heart

just say you won’t let go

i tasted the divine and she left my lips dripping with love

even when the world is against us i’ll keep you warm

my soul will find you each time

thought we built a dynasty that heaven couldn’t shake

i’ll be your escape‚ i’ll be your safe place

she was my salvation‚ i was her destruction

we should just kiss like real people do

the world may disapprove but my world is only you

lend me your hand and we’ll conquer them all

wherever there is you i will be there too

close to you i feel i’m at home

if i die may it be of love and if i love may it be you

if your body was a book i’d read a thousand chapters

i want to love in you and get lost in you only

i want to hide you in my heart and not open it after that

we return to each other in waves

let him be soft and let him be mine

i didn’t know that i was starving until i tasted you

i was with you before we were even born

he was her warmth‚ she was his peace

what a lovely way to burn

if i told you about the darkness inside of me would you still look at me like i’m the sun

kiss me with adventure until i forget my name

as the dust settles around us

maybe we started this fire

touch me only when nobody knows

your love is my poison

i wanna taste the way that you bleed

you are the devil in me

wherever you go you can always come home

you’d be like heaven to touch

you changed everything

you feed this fire and walk away

lately i’ve been craving more

i’ve been cold since you left

make me feel like i am breathing

i’ll fucking digest you one kiss at a time

you wish i was yours and i hope that you’re mine

i met her at church but she could be satan

with one kiss you inspired a fire of devotion

i am the blank page before you

i am the fine idea you crave

don’t know why‚ just know i want you

don’t care why‚ just know i love you

to say that we’re in love is dangerous

i will follow you anywhere

i’d kiss you if it wouldn’t kill me

this isn’t love but it’s more than infatuation

i’m at your will‚ can’t you see what you do to me

if this could kill‚ you can read me my eulogy

three puzzle pieces fit together perfectly

my heart found a home in yours

you make me feel like i am home again

enter a king and a queen

he set fire to the world around him but never let a flame touch her

too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

if love is anything tangible‚ it is his mouth

in the middle of my chaos‚ there was you

all we do is think about the feelings that we hide

he tastes like every dark thought i’ve ever had

heaven is a place on earth with you

i can feel you running through my veins

following my heart will always lead me to you

a sea of rum couldn’t intoxicate me as much as a drop of you

i found the devil‚ i found him in a lover

i hadn’t tasted love until i tasted you

no place like home‚ no place like her

i was made for loving you

there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

if we can’t find heaven i’ll walk through hell with you

i’m drowning in these memories

i found love where it wasn’t supposed to be

fire and ice‚ they go hand in hand

in all chaos there is calculation

two thirds of my soul

us against the world

two heartbeats under me